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#side note i ALWAYS hear about how we learned SO MUCH about medicine and the body from nazi Germany and i KNOW that has to be
timeisacephalopod · 1 year
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You know as a horror fan "cultural Christianity" is such a useful term because as an atheist as well as a horror fan and a fan of haunted house stuff if it's done well I very, very quickly noticed how many horror movies are Christian propaganda. So few horror movies involving religion (which is a shocking amount of them btw) pick any religion that's not Christianity to center itself around and when they do that religion is bad and evil, not the cause of evil and the savior from it (because the demons may be Christian, but God and the bible are also the solutions in a way other religions aren't granted. Bonus points if it's an indigenous religion being portrayed as Evil and Bad).
Pretty much any exceptions I can think of to that rule use Judaism and the Holocaust as a backdrop and never in like a normal, the Holocaust is horrible way it's always playing on myths of Nazi Germany's experimentation on the Jewish population. Which I find highly troubling and disturbing, but regardless nothing like being a horror fan to convince you of cultural Christianity because no other genre leans on religion as a plot device so much unless it's straight up a Christian movie for a Christian audience using Christianity as it's main theme and through line.
#winters ramblings#side note i ALWAYS hear about how we learned SO MUCH about medicine and the body from nazi Germany and i KNOW that has to be#at least SOMEWHAT untrue because the methodologies nazis would have used in CONCENTRATION CAMPS do not seem#like theyd yeild USEFUL information about anything. people criticize studies now for being overly populated with undergrads#because THAT skews your results theres NO WAY the camps had conditions good enough to yeild useful information#and theres NO FUCKING WAY IN ALL HELL that nazis had good enough methodologies and treatments of their PRISONERS#to be getting any result worth using. maybe we learned a lot on how to TORTURE people but medical sciences??#i think body snatchers orobably taught us a lot LOT more than the fucked up things the nazis did to the jewish population#and i find it DEEPLY DEEPLY troubling that we seem to remember the nazis like the NAZIS want us to remember them#and not as the scum of the earth they were- they werent useful DOCTORS even if there were olenty of useful engineers but they werent good#engineers BECAUSE they were nazis they were just good at their jobs WHY do we attribute their intelligence to BEING A NAZI#if anything thats proof all their smart at is building shit but anyway something tells me nazi germany didnt teach us NEAR#as much about medical anything as the myths lead us all to believe and WHY are we myth making about FUCKING NAZIS#time to start myth making the jewish people who survived or did uprisings or literally ANYTHING but the fucking nazis#now on the flipside as a horror fan Christianity is SO BAKED IN to how certian genres of horror run#if you had a haunted house movie WITHOUT Christianity id be genuinely surprised. if it wasnt at least Judaism with Weird Holocaust shit#id be even MORE surprised. ive never seen a weesterm horror flick that centered around like. Sikh people or even Muslims#and youd think being an abrahamic religion Muslims would make the cut but no even THEY get shunted because brown#like you CANNOT convince me culture Christianity doesnt exist because as an athiest horror fan BOY do i know thats not true#its actually one of my LEAST favorite things about the horror genre and WHY i have a hard time with haunted house movies#sure i LOVE james wans work but its STILL uses Christianity as a plot device and i HATE Christianity in my horror cheerios#plus you got shows like supernatural who LITERALLY wrote a show of bible fanfiction and uts very clear they never read the bible#i know this because i have a good friend who is religious and even CHRISTIANS find the Christianity in that show baffling and overbearing#and hilariously inaccurate but still lmao. anyway cultural Christianity is 100% a thing as an athiest its IMPOSSIBLE not to notice#so i find it REALLY WEIRD that athiests deny its existence as if weve not been victims of it out whole lives#and religious people who arent Christian too!! we should team up to beat the christians back to where they should be!!#just as invisible as the rest of us OR the rest of us just as visible as christians!!
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russellsppttemplates · 6 months
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Soon enough (Lance Stroll)
There are many different ways to start a family, and Lance and Y/N are hopefully starting their own
Note: english is not my first language. This piece is written from experiences I know (my mother's, specifically), so it is probable that there are some mistakes as I'm not a doctor. Either way, I've tried to treat this as respectfully as possible as this is very close to my heart. Am I really giddy for the follow up parts? Yes, I am!
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Tw: mentions endometriosis, fertility issues and treatments and associated topics like blood, medicine, hospitals, needles, etc., male masturbation, pregnancy
Tag list: @myloverjk-blog
"It's just going to be negative, Lance", you mumbled, placing the stick on top of the counter and turning to the tap to ways your hands. "Then we'll know what to look for, sweetheart", he attempted, knowing how much the subject weighed on your chest.
When you decided it was time to start thinking about building your family, you and Lance went back to Dr. Marlin like she had asked you. Given your endometriosis, she wanted to accompany you in your fertility journey, checking out all of the possibilities before you moved on to bigger situations.
Lance had been the most supportive partner, always there to cheer you on and to hold you whenever things didn't work out, "Dr. Marlin said that if this didn't work, we are moving on to the big treatments", you looked at him, "and that's what we will do if you want, whenever you feel comfortable", he kissed the side of your head after pulling you close to him, "we're in this together, Y/N".
Grabbing the test when your phone beeped, you didn't even flinch, "negative, like I said", you mumbled, your top lip trembling as you hid your face in your husband's neck. As much as you expected it, it still hurt. Like any other couple wanting to start parenthood, you wanted to remember this period of your life fondly, but you also knew you weren't any other couple. You weren't alone, and since you became more invested in learning about your condition, you found out about all the other couples who had been through the same and their happy families, remembering someone with a very similar history to yours.
"I love you, Y/N, so much. I love you and we're going to have our own family, my love", Lance whispered in your ear, "we're in this together until the end, whatever it takes", he soothed, kissing your skin and hugging you tight against him.
"Do you have any meetings today?", you asked as you pulled away a few moments later, wiping your tears on your sleeve, "I have one at the end of the day, and I'm free for the rest of the week", Lance informed, "I have to get to work for the afternoon only, my morning is free too", you sniffed.
"Then I can call Dr. Marlin to book an appointment and you can go and get ready because we are going on a walk. It's a very quiet one, I doubt we'll run into anyone, okay?", he suggested, smiling when he saw your lips curve upwards slightly, "you're the best. I love you, Lance", you kissed his lips, walking out the bathroom and into the bedroom while he made the phone call.
.
"Do you need a blood sample?", you asked the assistant on the counter, "no, today it's just an ultrasound, and after that you might have to come in for other samples, just depends on how the appointment goes today", she smiled, "Dr. Marlin will call you shortly".
Sitting next to Lance as you waited, you grabbed his hand and started playing with in fingers on top of his thigh, "are you ready to hear that my uterus is a sad sad place for a baby to grow and that not even your guys want to stay in there? We've known eacother for a good while, so I thought we'd befriended, but apparently they're either too snobby or my uterus is a very hostile place", you joked, hoping that it would shake your nerves off, "too much?", you cringed.
"That's not the weirdest thing you've said to me", your husband chuckled, "and I'll listen to anything you say as long as it makes you smile", he cupped your cheek, "besides, who knows? Maybe my guys are also picky, or slow".
Dr. Marlin welcomed you in her office not long after, greeting you and confirming the informations she had, "like we discussed before, it seems that our best approach would be treatments like IVF. For that, of you still want to go for that route, we'll need some samples so we can also rule out any questions from Lance and see where your levels are", she said, getting up, "for today, we'll do the ultrasound as this will also given us more information".
Getting up and laying down on the bed, Lance followed you, standing on your side as you lifted your shirt enough for her to squeeze the gel and move the wand around, "see here? This is your fallopian tube, and it seems the most blocked, while your uterus is actually shedding well enough", she explained, pointing to the different spots on the screen.
"And is that good or bad? I mean, given the circumstances", you questioned, "I can't tell you with absolute certainty, as everyone is different, but this is usually a good sign. It means that it's your eggs that are not travelling to the uterus, and not like you have a low count or that they don't have a good place to settle once fertilised", she smiled, "I'm prescribing you the bloodwork and the samples we need, but after that, if everything checks out, we'll wait for your period and then we'll start couting from there".
.
"It's time for the shot, sweetheart", Lance called, grabbing the supplies he needed as you sat on the sofa. Even though you were fine doing it by yourself, having Lance doing the injections when he was home helped him feel involved in the process. "You can leave that there, then I can just pick it up after you take the needle out", you noted, placing the gauze in your thigh.
Lance tapped the syringe twice to make sure it was at the right level, kneeling down in front of you, "I'm just going to pinch your tummy, is this side, right?", he confirmed, seeing you nod, "are you ready, love?", he checked over before injecting the medicine on your skin, holding the syringe steady for a little bit before pulling it out, discarding it in the medical waste bin Dr. Marlin had given you while you dealt with the burn.
"This one is burning a lot more than I expected", you moaned, squeezing your eyes shut as the stung softened, feeling Lance's lips on your tummy and right by your hand that was pressing the gauze down, "you're very brave, Y/N, I love you".
"I love you too, handsome", you cradled his face, rubbing his stubbly cheek before helping him store the supplies for the next injection time, "we only have four days left", you smiled, looking at the medicine vials.
"Soon enough, Y/N, soon enough", he kissed your forehead, hugging carefully to not press on your tender lower belly, "you're so amazing all I keep doing is just that, but you're taking it all in, it's your body going through the changes", he kissed your softly.
"You're the one dealing with these hormonal changes, I still can't believe I cried when your sister showed up at the table with the pie a little bit more golden that it usually is. It wasn't burnt and it tasted amazing as usual, but the sight of it not done like usual sent me in a fit of cries", you blushed. Chloe was understanding like you expected her to be, but you still couldn't shake her panicked few seconds when she saw your tears, calling her brother immediately so he could hug you and soothe you.
"It's part of the process, love, and I want to be here for as much as I'm able", he said, interrupted by the sound of your phone going off, "it's Dr. Marlin, let me put in on speaker".
The phone call couldn't have gone better, "Y/N, I've reviewed the scans and it looks really good, keep up with the rest of the treatment and next week we'll look into the retrievals", she announced.
.
"This wasn't the way we were supposed to make a baby", you mumbled, "I should be getting naked and we'd be in our bed, and we'd whisper how much we love eachother and then we'd cuddle in said bed, not with me in a procedure room and you in another, in these cold and sterile sheets", you looked up at Lance.
You were back in the clinic so the doctors could collect both samples, and while you've had the years to prepare for this, and with therapy it was something you had worked over, sometimes you were still plagued by these thoughts.
Fortunately, your husband knew just what to say, "it's not the usual way, yes, but it's filled with love nonetheless. You're putting yourself through procedures after your body had been medicated with injections, and that is love. For out little one who we will hopefully hold in our arms when the time comes, love for our family and love for me. You're going to make me a father because of this amount of love you're showing me and that we share, okay?", he smiled soothingly, kissing your forehead, "no more of those worries, okay? Besides, we'll have loads of time for you to touch me and for me to touch you", he winked, helping you turn around so he could help you with the gown's tie.
Kissing your forehead goodbye once the nurses came to take you, Lance was then pulled to a room for himself, "all of the supplies you need are there", she pointed to the sterile table, leaving him alone in the room. Masturbating in a hospital room was not something he ever thought about doing. It wasn't that you weren't there with him, because he certainly had done it many times whenever he travelled for races and you weren't there, so he figured it was the white walls, plain in a room that only had the purpose he was in there for too. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he found the photo album of pictures of you he kept for these occasions. The collection was built along the years you've dated, usually ending up on his phone whenever you both felt particularly daring and in need of the other and you weren't physically able to satisfy it. The picture he used, however, was one he had taken himself. The picture was probably three months old as he had taken in on your anniversary, your naked side profile as you looked sweetly at the camera. You hadn't done anything big to celebrate it, opting instead for staying in and spending your time between the sheets working on your shared dream of a family. And that's exactly what he was doing right now, stroking himself as he recalled the sweet noises you make that he adores so much, the way you feel around him and how your body feels in his hands, soon collecting his finish in the sterile cup.
Making sure it was sealed tight and then washing his hands, Lance fixed himself and walked out of the room, heading up to the desk and handing his sample to the nurse, "there you go", he began, seeing her store it in a cooler like box, "I'm sorry to bother, but do you have any news on my wife?", he wondered, "Y/N's procedure seems to be concluded", the nurse looked at the monitor in front of her, "they're probably just finishing up and she'll be up in her room any minute. Do you want me to walk you there?".
"I think I still remember the way, thank you though", Lance smiled, walking along the corridors until he found the room you had been in. He sat in the comfortable chair, smiling when he saw your colourful fuzzy socks waiting on your bag, remembering reading reports from other women saying that their feet were cold after the retrieval, and since you weren't a big fan of the cold, Lance made sure to pack them for you.
The noise in the corridor caught his attention as the nurse that had wheeled you to the procedure room came back, wheeling you back inside, "she's still a bit sleepy, but the procedure went well. Dr. Marlin said that, at first glance, everything is right on track", she smiled as she noticed Lance's worry fade, "we will be both here in a bit so we can discharge her, but if something happens meanwhile, there's a bell there", she pointed, excusing herself and closing the door behind her.
Turning to face you, Lance kissed your cheek as you fluttered your lashes, "hey, sleepy girl", he cooed, prompting you to fully open your eyes, "I heard you did really well in there", he admitted proudly.
"Yes, they said something about a good number of eggs, I think I might've compared myself to a chicken, so you know, good things", you giggled, looking for his hand to hold, "thank you, for all this", you kissed his knuckles, "no need to thank me, we're in this together, sweetheart".
After explaining you the signs you should look out for, the medical team discharged you and off home you went with Lance.
.
Since you got the call to book the embryo transfer day, you and Lance had been cautiously hopeful with the results, "Lance, Y/N, I'm happy to say that we have 10 embryos to work with. They have developed healthily and without any complications", Dr. Marlin cheered.
"Let's go get a baby put inside of me, hm?", you stepped out of the car, holding Lance's hand as you walked to the door. Checking in was quick and you were almost immediately welcomed into the procedure room, sitting in the bed and covering yourself as requested.
"I imagine I'm looking very sexy", you joked in a way to deal with the nerves, "you always look the sexiest to me", your husband kissed the side of your head, resting his forehead in yours, "we're finally here, my love, you've got this, we've got this", he whispered, almost terrified that of he spoke any louder he would disturb the mood.
You heard a knock on the door, Dr. Marlin and her colleague walking in wheeling a small cart, "we have your embryos here", she pointed to the environment where they had been developing. As they rearranged the room, they pushed a highchair by your side, telling Lance he could sit in there while they worked, "so, Y/N, you shouldn't feel too much pain, rather some pressure as we make the transfer", she said as she maneuvered the small catheter, her colleagues guiding the ultrasound as you looked at Lance, finding the usual calm in his brown eyes.
"That was very well placed, actually the perfect spot", Dr. Marlin said, smiling behind her mask as he removed the devices and covered you up. "It's done", she empathised, rubbing your shoulder and hugging you, "now you're just going to stay here for 10, 15 minutes or so, to make sure everything settles", she excused herself, leaving you and Lance in the room.
"We made a baby and they're inside of you", Lance choked out. Throughout this process, he had always been the strong one, the one to hold you whenever you didn't want to do the injection because it hurt too much, whenever you felt like crap from the meds and whenever you lost hope, but today he cried for the first time, bringing tears to your own, "I'm so happy, I promise these are happy tears", he chuckled, "I always say that I'm the luckiest guy because you love me, at my best and t my worst, and today you proved it to me once again. I really am the luckiest", he kissed your lips, salty tears in the mix while you waited.
"We'll see you in two weeks for the test, okay?", your OB waved goodbye after giving you two big hugs, "thank you, once more", you spoke, forever grateful for the way she led you through this whole journey.
Driving home was quiet and comfortable, your seat adjusted so you didn't have as much pressure on your abdominal area, "They really should get this holes sorted, they've been here for a while now and they're only getting worse", Lance mumbled, "I'm sorry, sweetheart", he apoligised as he slowed down the car as much as it was safe to, "it's fine, it doesn't hurt or anything", you justified, not seeing the need to be so careful.
Blushing, your husband passed all the holes, the concrete now smooth as he drove faster again, "can't give any more shakes to the little bun, you know? Making sure they stay glued to the wall and all", he said sweetly, hopefully bringing lightness to the situation as you pouted at his cuteness.
"I love you, Lance. There's no one else I'd want to do this with", you stretched your hand, landing on his thigh as his own hand travelled to your tummy, rubbing it softly and hoping that your family was growing inside of you.
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ennikity · 3 months
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❤𝘕𝘪-𝘬𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯… 𝘚𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 ❤
Genre: extra fluff☆ Warnings: noup
Note: Soo, hi everyone! Since it's been so long since the last time I posted, I wanted to make something a bit longer, and I came up with the idea of doing like a "compilation" of sweets moments between Ni-ki and Y/N. I'll try to make it as fluff as posible, since we all need a bit of fluff in our lifes. Hope you like it!
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When he is sick:
So, I know that I've already post something related to this, but I want to talk about it more. I feel like Ni-ki is the tipe of person who just sleep when he isn't feeling well. BUT he would only sleep if it's with you. He would insist that being near you is the best medicine, and would absolutely beg you to lay with him. And how could you say no to that? So both of you end up cuddling for a long, long time. He would make sure that he is correctly curled up at your side, and would put his head near one of your hands, in case that you want to caress his head. Of course you know this, so you don't hesitate to run your fingers soflty through his hair. The happy sight that scapes the boy's mouth tells you that he is ready for a long nap. And of course, you are ready too :]
When you are sick (or not feeling well):
On the other hand, if it's you the one not feeling well, he would absolutely bring out his gentleman side (not saying that he isn't like that on a daily basis, but we all know that he has a full time job as a prankster). Ni-ki would ask you if there's anything you needed (he'd even make a list) and then rush to the nearest store to get everything. You are sick and need some medicine? Got it. You are on your period and need pads or painkillers? He is on the way. You're craving your fav snacks? Say no more. And the list continues. He'd also make sure that you are always confortable. You are feeling too hot? He's already turning on the air conditioner. Too cold? Just wait 'till he finds the warmest blanket. And of course, he wouldn't leave your side. (only if you tell him to, but let's be honest, you'd never do that). He'd gently caress your head, or hold your hand, or lay with you. However, he'd always make sure that he isn't hugging you too tight or that you always have enough space. (we all need a Ni-ki in our lifes)
When you compliment him when he dances:
Ni-ki loves when someone compliments him about his dancing, but he loves it even more when you are the one complimenting him, cuz he loves dancing and he loves you. Perfect combination. So, imagine this: he brings you to the practice room cuz he wants to show you the new dance he learned. You are sitting on the floor while you watch him, and can't help but feel the proudest person in the wold. I mean, he has the flawlest movements and he looks so happy when he dances that it makes you happy as well. Even tho if Ni-ki is full focused on his dancing, his heart fills up with happines when he catches the way you look at him. Your eyes are filled with so much love and admiration that he swears he is going to melt right there. But he forces himself to finish dancing first. There would be time for melting after that. So, once he finishes, he turns at you, and of course asks what you think about it. Even if there's absolutely no way you didn't like it, he always feel nervous while waiting for your answer. But the moment he hears the long (and I mean it) long list of compliments that come out of your mouth, all his fears desapear. The smile on his face could light up the whole universe, and before you realise it, he has picked you up and both of you are spinning in the air. (i'm deff not criying) Of course, once you're again on the floor, he would hug you tightly, thanking you for watching him dance.
During summer nights (for this one, let's pretend that Enha's house has a yard):
For Ni-ki, summer is the worst season. Seeing all those couples enjoying the long sunny days, hot weather and summer activities is like a constant reminder of all the things he can't do with you. But that's not going to stop him from spending quality time with you, so after thinking a lot, he comes up with the idea of remodeling Enhypen's yard to make it your own private space. He'd buy everything, from a cute tent, to little lights, to even a projector to watch your fav films. He'd be totally invested in this project, but his efforts would be worht it, cuz the result is nothing but perfect. Even the members can't believe that the now soflty iluminated yard, with the light green tent and the confortable cushions is the same yard form a week ago. And Ni-ki couldn't be more proud. Now you two have the perfect place to spend those summer night. And I can tell you that those nights were the best. Just the two of you lying next to each other, with your fav film playing, and the sky full of stars above you... It was like a dream.
When he comes back from a tour:
Tours are something bitter sweet for Ni-ki. Yes, he absolutely loves them, but it's so hard for him to be far from you for that long. That's why I totally see him calling you every day, texting you each time that something happends, and even filming some kind of vlog to show you what the tour was like, and what things he did. And of course, he would come back with a HUGE bag fulled of souvenirs he bought for your in each place. But he forgets all of this the moment he sees you. I swear that once he hugs you, he's not letting you go for a long time. He just missed you so much, your voice, your smile, the way you laugh... UGH, this boy can't put into words all those feelings inside his chest, so he just hugs you, and spins you arround, and covers you with kisses. And then, you better be prepared, cuz this boy is not going anywere. He's going to be sticked to you for the rest of the day. You might think he doesn't like physical touch, but when it comes to you, he'd practicaly become part of you. But you don`t care, cuz you also missed him so much :(
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chdarling · 10 months
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Hello CH.  I’ve not contacted an author before and I don’t know Tumblr all that well, so I don’t know if you’re actually going to see this.  But if you do…I was disheartened reading your post about how some were being unkind.  I wanted to contribute to the positive voices you hear, and hopefully outweigh any negativity.
I’m not a writer (grammar, sentence structure…what?), please bear with me.
I just wanted you to know how much The Last Enemy project means to me and how much I appreciate you.  I stumbled onto The Howling Nights about the same time that I had a health scare.  I had four or five months of talking to doctors, tests, and waiting for results.  A surgery.  Lots of stress and worry. Reading your fic played a huge part in me getting through that with a lot less stress and fewer tears.  I cannot begin to express how much your writing meant to me during that time. I could just fall into your world and put mine on pause for a bit.  
It’s just so easy to fall into the world you made. The Last Enemy is just so beautifully thought out and written.  I’ve seen it expressed more masterfully by others when you respond to them on Tumblr so I just have to echo a few points already made.  I love the different flavors of each chapter depending on which character’s POV it is.  There’s a different tone and manner of thinking for each character.  I can only imagine how much planning, character analysis, and time went into thinking about each event from multiple POVs to explore how it should be told.  I love all the small details that you (probably) agonize about; it makes a world of difference in continuity.  I love how we’re inserted at one point in time, and we learn about the past from someone’s point of view.  Like here’s Lily, a Muggleborn thrust into a new world and learning about wizarding politics/history through Dearborn and Dorcas’s bookstore.  We can see the pendulum of wizarding politics and culture and the effect it has on Hogwarts; for example, students eschewing Muggle clothing as a reflection of the current political leanings(Welcome to the backlash, baby!). I love how you’ve even brought in unconscious biases (Sirius - The Whisper of Trees), which is such a subtle but important detail in prejudice and breaking out of it.  And the relationships set within this context!  Lily thinking James acted the way he did because of blood purity.  James realizing that Lily went through so much more than he initially thought because she’s a Muggleborn girl and you know how these muggle girls are. The Muggleborn group! James teaching Quidditch because that’s the only thing he can do right now to fix something. Okay, I’m just rambling now, so I’ll be shorter.  Lily and Severus’s relationship…just so twisted.  Remus and Sirius - so much there. How James and Sirius confront Lily about Remus to protect him; aw. Lily’s “medicine” for Remus…I can’t even.  There’s so much more about your writing that I admire; I just can’t keep going or this will take forever to read.
I don’t even know how many times I’ve re-read the series, but there is always some new nugget I’m finding or some connection I’m making.  I also joined Tumblr because you were on it.  When you answer a question someone has or a reader points out something I missed, I have to go back and read it again.  It’s so much fun.  Whenever I start reading the series again, it’s like talking to an old friend. On a side note, I’ve also found a ton of new authors through Tumblr.  I wouldn’t have found them without you.
Ramble ramble.  Okay.
I’m always super exciting when I see that you’ve posted a new chapter.  Of course I am.  I sincerely hope you finish the whole series.  Of course I do.  And I will read every word and probably re-read more times than I can count.  But I’m happy knowing that it’s something you’re happy with and it’s what you want to post.  No matter the length of time between updates.  You exist beyond the keyboard.  You have a life. Rational people know that.  Also, I’ve been through grad school…it’s a lot.  Yikes. That you’re creating this series during grad school…um, how?
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the time and effort you’ve put into this and for sharing with us. Lots of love.
This made me rather teary (in a nice way!) 🥹
Thank you so so much for taking the time to send such a kind and supportive message. It truly means a lot to me. And I’m so sorry to hear about your health scare and all the stress from that. I hope you’re doing better now. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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I don't really talk about my new spiritual journey much simply because I don't want my mom to find it or her side of the family. I also don't want to make anyone uncomfortable when I'm in the mood to info dump about my deities so I figured I'd rant a little here, more like, discuss the signs I got from each deity that led me to contact them and what working with them has been like.
Disclaimer, everything that I discuss about these deities are from my own UPG and all deity relationships are different, if we happen to have similar experience I'd love to hear about them! Side note, the only way that I've ever been able to communicate with my deities is through pendulum which is of course, yes and no questions, and tarot cards, usually I start a conversation and I can get pretty detailed responses, I also read what I think they are trying to say through cards and confirm if it's what they are trying to say!
Athena (Patroness)-
Generally I enjoyed things associated with her until I got that GUT feeling that something was up
I had an obsession for her in midle school, more like I read The Mark of Athena more times than I could count and found her so interesting
ART mostly trying anything under the sun from sketching, painting, sculpting, sewing, crocheting, watercolor, digital, etc... I want to go into an art based work feild
Loved learning about wars and such
Really enjoy finding ways to make my brain think, specially finding series that really make you question reality and morals, following with strategies and trying to guess the next move characters will make
I really enjoy reading, mostly fanfics but it counts
As for signs it was more adrupt
Was curious about deity work and figured I should find a deity to reach out to that represents my interests, who do I find? ATHENA!
I did some tarot card pulls and kept getting cards associated with her
Contacted her through pendulum after doing a lot of research making sure I was safe and talking to her and not a trickster
It was her and she has been with me from the start
She came to me saying that I wasn't necessarily prepared to do deity work but wanted to make sure I was safe and I've definitely felt protected since
Working with Athena has been incredible, she helped me find the motivation to finish high school in a time of depression, helped me form a path for what I should do after school and gave me so much motherly advice. She really has felt like a second mother and I love her energy so much. I had a dream about her recently and she did come to me as a mother figure and taught me how to sword fight so maybe that's something to look into for me! She also has a great sense of humor, for my UPG at least and our relationship feels more comfortable than strict, giving me breathing room considering I'm still new to this.
Apollo (Patron)-
Again, it was just a gut feeling, I kept feeling drawn to him
I love music art, sunshine and although psychology isn't plague or medicine related I kinda lump the two together and I really like psychology
Had an obsession with plague doctors which I associate with Apollo
I grew attached to bumblebees randomly
I named my cat Apollo
Looovvveee taking sunset pictures and watching the sky
I randomly wanted to work more on my intuition which is what we are doing together
I wanted to be outside much more
I started to want to write more often which I never do
Got more obsessed with a character that reminded me of him
After I started working with him, I started waking up super early which I never do, always at sunrise. I was pushed more to go outside and do shadow work, he's really helping me with that and motivation to do art. He feels a lot like a big brother energy and just fun to be around, he has been forcing me to go outside lately but I'm not complaining. He's sent me many MANY bumblebees since I've contacted him and I love it! Shadow work is rough tho but I know it will help me in the future.
Bastet (working with/unspecified relationship)-
I also kept feeling drawn to her but ignored it for a long time as I thought it was more mundane than spiritual
Had a dream of which I can only remember hearing her name, again pushed it off as it was just a dream
Suddenly cats had a much more emotional impact on me, like... I can't explain just how happy they make me, it wasn't usual
Just a few days ago, randomly, my dad's girlfriend told him to tell me that she did a card reading and said that I should look into Bastet
THAT is what pushed me over the edge to do research and contact her
The next day, still hadn't reached out, went to a friend's house, she has three cats, two of them are skittish while the other one just likes to lounge
I thought, heck it, and asked bastet to send me a sign if she was trying to contact me
Two of the cats ran to me at the same time, one from upstairs and the other from further away, the one upstairs was the sleepy boy who was comfortable on a bed, the other was one of the skittish ones
That finally set my proof
Once I contacted her she said she wanted to work with me on financial growth, self confidence, and shadow work like Apollo, all of which I really need help with
After, I was in the car with my dad, I was talking about Bast to him and whaddya know, there was a cat that was sitting on the side of the road, something I never see
As far as what I have had conversation wise with Bastet, she seems like a good friend and I'm very excited to see what she has in store for our relationship, I already have a newly growing alter for her and wold love to get a candle and finish the statue I'm making for her. She's been patient with me as were the other two in terms of an alter and doesn't really care what I have on there as long as it relates to her but it's the thought that counts!
I've had such a wonderful experience with my deities from the beginning! For a while I thought that I'd just be working with Athena, only to find that she's my patron who will guide me for my life alongside Apollo. I'm still unsure how long Bast is going to stay but I really like her so far so I hope she isn't going anywhere soon. I can't wait to grow my practice through these guys and I can't wait for what's in store!
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persephonescottage · 2 years
Note
THAT LAST CHAPTER OF PONY!!! THE WAY YOU ENDED IT!!! 😳😍♥️ I swear this Billy fic is so, so damn good. Always such a fun and thrilling (and arousing- 🫢) read. I especially swooned at the way Billy worried about Pony while he was out of the city and so far away from her like with her not taking care of herself, not being safe while walking home, etc. Such a good touch to the story and really added another layer to their relationship that only had me falling deeper in love with your Billy and Pony. The only thing that I love more than Stalker!Billy is Protective!Stalker!Billy !! Lol
Which now makes me curious… How would Billy feel or react if Pony had gotten hurt while he was away? Like if she was mugged or fell or something like that? Or or or, even more than that, how would Billy feel if he found out that Pony had a well hidden stalker who had way more menacing intentions toward her (like the stalker had no affectionate obsession or love for her like Billy does)? 👀
I hope I’m not over overstepping by having this question! I don’t mean to being offending or anything of the such. It’s just that this story is honestly ALWAYS on my mind and I start imagining things and wondering things and yeah… lol. I figured it’d be interesting and more insightful to ask you since you’re the creator of this wonderful story and evidently know what goes through Billy’s mind better than anyone else. If you don’t want to answer and indulge in this imagination, then I totally understand and respect that choice!!
Anyway, I do love your story so much and have been enjoying every bit of it. Thank you for giving us this amazing story! I hope you enjoy the rest of your week 💕
THANK YOU SO MUCHHHHHH 📢📢📢
This is so nice of you! And by all means send me all of your PONY theories and scenarios I love it!! It means a lot to me that people see my story worthy of taking space in their mind and their own imagination it is literally the best thing ever!!!
I do have a few ideas and I hope you agree.
I feel like Billy has this idea of Pony in his mind, he sees her as someone who is walking through fire and magically not getting hurt. In his mind she is innocent and sweet and he needs to keep her safe from all the creeps (like him) that want to use her cause who woudn‘t, is so fucking hot to him.
As we know Pony lost her family at eighteen, so she basically finished raising herself and that’s where it gets tricky. Because, Billy sees a part of him in her. The vulnerable and lonely part.
That being said the first thing that comes to my mind is that Billy definitely left and alert on Pony’s file at ANVIL. If Frank alters anything or writes any new information down he’ll be notified too.
I can see him absolutely loosing it when he learns that you broke a full boiling coffee pot at the library which gave you a minor hand burn and some glass cuts. He would immediately call the hospital you were taken to and claim he was your husband and ask for the best room and doctor for you.
You’ll literally be there for an hour and you roll your eyes at the flower arrangement that comes to your new and unnecessary room.
“Thinking of you Pony, get well soon.”
The note on the pink rose basket will say and you’ll pretend to be mad but when the nurse asks casually while wrapping a band on your hand if your husband will come pick you up you’ll cheerfully say yes, 
You know he’ll be there to follow you home and you know he’ll watch you from the van all night.
Billy does pack up and leave Japan as soon as he hears. Maybe it wasn’t even on ANVIL’s file, maybe he’s hacked both yours and Gianna’s phone, because we know he probably already did (spoiler?) and he’s definitely seen the couple nudes you have on the cloud.
Saved them for later.
Taking your pain medicine you sleep off the injury and by the time you wake up the next day you realize the empty side of your bed is all messy and smells like cologne.
You get up alarmed and walk to the kitchen were you find a new basket, this time it’ll contain a fresh bouquet of daisies, all the medicine on your doctor’s prescription and your medical bill fully payed, along with some chocolates and a note.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again Pony.”
Getting back to your question, I feel like the odds of having two stalkers is a little crazy, but NOT impossible and now I’m suspicious of you reading my story outline notes…
Because maybe he’s a more sofisticated stalker, hidden in plain sight. I mean Henry is a little too touchy for my liking and when I re read what I post I feel like he gives off a ‘I only see reader as another doll I gotta have in my rich boy toy box’ vibe.
I feel like Henry has this plan of letting all his rich friends use you and then dispose of you when he gets bored.
The thing is, Billy would know, he’d just know.
And he’d definitely murder all of them with his daddy knife ™ before he even started trying to get with you for real.
Rich kids are stupid and Henry is probably going on coke induced rambles in Ibiza telling all his friends about his master plan.
He’d probably make it look like an accident and console you at his funeral.
Did I just make a villain out of Henry Dumas?
NONE OF THIS IS CANNON.
I hope this answered your questions because it’s 90 degrees in California and I’m dehydrated enough to ramble about this story. Thank you for allowing my silly little fic a space in your brain💕
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lacheri · 3 years
Note
Hello Cherry I have a request! Eren always teasing and being a little mean to the reader so she decides to give him a taste of his own medicine (so sorta like a sub! eren x brat tamer! reader) okay that is all ilysm bye bye
hi Kat!! you send me the best prompts 🤤 I hope you enjoy thank you for requesting ily!!!
too much
pairing: sub/brat!Eren x brat tamer!fem bodied reader
content: Eren’s an asshole, established relationship, ruined orgasms, oral (f and m receiving), humiliation/degradation kink, minors DNI.
wc: 3.5k
notes: this is unedited I literally just wrote this up as fast as I could bc this ask drove me WILD
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Your fists were clenched at your sides, fingernails digging crescents on the inside of your palms, knuckles white. You were stomping through your shared living room with your boyfriend, curses and swears leaving your lips. Eren had managed to piss you completely off, feelings of humiliation and frustration fueling the fire coursing through your veins.
It all started earlier this morning, waking up next to your sleepy boyfriend, kissing his cheek sweetly. Your half naked bodies wrapped together in a cocoon of blankets, hair messy and eyelids heavy. Usually, Eren would stir awake and return your kisses with enthusiasm, but he had cracked a single eye open this morning, frowned and grumbled, and pushed you off of him. You had pouted, feeling rejected, and immediately flung yourself out of the bed to get ready for the day. When Eren had finally woken up, joining you in your shared bathroom as you brushed your teeth, he made no effort to console you. He saw the wrinkles on your forehead as your eyebrows furrowed together, a tell all sign for what you were feeling. He simply brushed past you, grabbing his own toothbrush and standing right beside you as if he hadn’t been so recklessly ignorant of you.
When the two of you had spit and gargled mouthwash, he cleared his throat, a hint of a smirk playing at his lips, “What’s your deal?”
Your eyes flickered to him for a brief second, and you rolled your eyes and stomped off back to your bedroom to get dressed. Fuck him, if he wanted to start the day off so sour, he was going to get the same attitude back.
Eren followed behind you, smirk still growing, “You’re mad I pushed you away this morning, aren’t you?”
“So you did it on purpose?” you couldn’t hide the hurt in your voice, back facing him as you searched through your closet. You really had intended to ignore Eren for a while, letting him stew in your cold shoulder treatment, but he always knew how to crawl under your skin and get a rise out of you.
“Just wanted to see how you’d react,” he teased, coming directly behind you to rest his chin on your shoulder, arms crossed on his bare chest. “I was right.”
Fury licked flames up your throat and you stepped forward, throwing your boyfriend off balance. You didn’t want to play whatever game he was trying to set up, you had things to do today besides bend to Eren’s will. Hearing his response, it drove motivation into the pits of your mind that Eren was not going to get a reaction out of you anymore today.
However, he had other plans.
Today has been your day off from work and school, as well as Eren’s day off. The plan was to straighten up the house, invite your friends over in the evening and order pizza. Nothing too crazy or over the top, just a nice relaxing day.
Things didn’t quite work out that way. After the two of you had gotten dressed and made breakfast, every single time you tried to clean an object, Eren would somehow get in the way. He pulled books of the bookcase and left them on the floor or any surface he could find, managed somehow to fill the sink with dirty dishes, not rinsing them off to put in the dishwasher, and found every article of clothing between the two of you to toss on the bedroom floor. The hour long cleaning session had turned into the entire day, long enough that you had to text your friends that tonight wasn’t going to work out.
Because every time you made progress in your small home, Eren would find another thing that got added to the list. As much as it infuriated you, mostly because Eren was supposed to be helping you, you couldn’t let it phase you. No, you knew he was trying to piss you off. You weren’t going to crack under his pressure, not give him the satisfaction of seeing you wound up and upset.
The last straw had snapped when he walked into the living room, seeing you pick up the last book he had thrown on the floor, and opened his stupid mouth.
“Aren’t you supposed to be cleaning?” Eren spat. “This house is a complete disaster.”
Your eyes flickered incredulously to the wall clock, six o’clock it had read, your entire day wasted away, “Are you fucking serious right now?”
You searched for a hint of playfulness in his expression, seeing nothing but his stone cold eyes piercing into you as he spoke without hesitation, “I’m entirely fucking serious. How are we supposed to have company over if you can’t clean a fucking house?”
“Already cancelled,” you fumed, standing up from your crouched position, leaving the book on the floor. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to like that?”
“You. What? Do you need me to use your name at every sentence whenever I talk to you?” Eren kept edging, a feel of gratification consuming him upon learning his friends weren’t coming over anymore. “How am I supposed to marry someone who can’t fucking clean?”
You felt sharp pangs of hurt in your chest, eyes losing their spark, “Eren, that’s mean. Why are you being so mean today?”
He had only smirked, reveling in your mood switch. In the silence shared then, he announced he was getting a bath, he had such a hard working day and wanted to relax. He had left you in the living room alone, and you felt the anger inside of you bubble up, threatening to go over. You snapped, heading straight to the bathroom where you could hear the flow of water into the tub stop.
The door slammed against the wall as you threw it opened, seeing Eren jump slightly at the impact. His hair flowed down to his shoulders, arms stretched out against the rim of the tub, and in any other situation you’d be crawling into the water with him. He’d be so sweet about it too, bringing you to his chest and giving you kisses while you giggled at the attention. Hell, he’d probably even shower you in compliments and appreciation. Not today though, his eyes hardened as you stopped right in front of him.
“Out, now,” you ordered through clenched teeth. You could hear Eren’s breath kick up, but he didn’t move. “Are you deaf? Get out, now, Eren.”
His body moved before his mouth could protest, standing stark naked in the shin deep water. You could see the steam rise off of his skin, your eyes trailed downwards. Although soft, his dick was still impressive, but the longer you stared at the fleshy member, it twitched and rose a bit. You quirked an eyebrow, realization dawning on you. Oh, so this was why Eren was acting like this today?
You made eye contact with him then, his legs shifting over the rim of the tub, before standing directly in front of you. Your hand whipped up to the back of Eren’s head, fisting his hair, and yanking his head back, exposing every line and vein and bulge in his throat.
“This what you wanted? Wanted to get me all angry so I could take it out on you?” Eren’s dick was rock solid, giving you a physical answer, but you still needed the verbal one, “Answer me.”
“Yes,” he choked out, and his Adam’s apple bobbed along his throat.
“Well it fucking worked. I have half a mind to leave you here, like this, to take care of yourself,” you pulled his hair further, a gasp leaving his parted lips.
“No, please, don’t,” Eren’s voice came out whiny as he begged. You smirked, although he wasn’t able to see it as his eyes faced directly up to the ceiling.
“You’re going to drain this tub,” you began to instruct, tilting his head so his eyes trailed to your hard set ones. “And then you’re going to dry off, and go lay flat on your back on the bed. Do you understand me?”
He nodded feverently, happy you released your grip as his neck had begun to ache. You smoothed that same hand over his jaw, feeling the stubble underneath your fingertips, “Good boy.”
Eren set to work quickly, giddy with excitement. This had been his plan all along, to get you riled up enough to take it out on him. Genuinely, Eren hadn’t meant to start this at all today. When you had kissed him awake, he was having a really good dream he didn’t want to wake up from quite then, and hadn’t meant to push you away. Upon seeing your sad pout, followed by a flicker of anger in your orbs, something stirred within Eren. He began to question, just how far could he push you until you caved in?
Eren didn’t stick around to watch the tub fully drain, he was dried off and on the bed just as you had requested. You leaned against the wall, clad only in your bra and panties, and you watched him with hungry eyes as he followed your every instruction. Your boyfriend was a beautiful man, every part of him intriguing and gorgeous to you. He looked like a Greek God, arms and legs spread out, the subtle light from your bedside lamps casting shadows across his abs and into the V of his pelvis. Eren had a beautiful cock as well, thick and long and veiny, it sat perched on his lower abdomen, twitching as you pushed yourself off the wall to loom over your man.
“Look at you,” you mused, letting a dark chuckle vibrate from your chest. “You’re already hard and I haven’t even touched you yet. You’ve been thinking about this all day, haven’t you baby?”
“Yes,” he answered. The skin on his cock was so taut and tight, feeling somewhat light headed as all the blood was rushed to his member.
“You know I’m going to have to punish you, right? For being so mean to me today?” you batted your eyelashes, crawling on to the bed, sitting on your knees by his side, refusing to touch him just yet.
“I know,” Eren whined, trying to reach out to touch your thigh only to be met with the harsh slap of your palm. “I’m sorry.”
“No you’re not,” you cooed in false security, brushing Eren’s hair out of his beautiful face. “But that’s okay, you’re gonna’ make it up to me, right now.”
You traced the outline of Eren’s plump lips, resting your forehead against his as you muttered in your darkest voice, “I’m taking away your right to touch me. Convince me you’re sorry, and maybe I’ll reconsider.”
Eren squirmed under the heat of your words, eyes darting across your face for a hint of a lie, of hesitation. He found nothing, only the glimmer of lust in your eyes as you gazed down at him. Your fingers pushed past his soft lips, and he needed no instruction to latch on and suck. If this was the only touch he would get of you, your fingers pumping into his mouth, scissoring his tongue, he’d take it all so greedily to make you regret putting these rules in place. He never broke eye contact, curling and circling his tongue between your pointer and middle fingers, imagining they were the divine petals between your thighs. You were doing the same, feeling the gush of arousal slicken you. You tapped his tongue, signaling a release. He parted his now swollen lips easily, eyes pleading.
“Can I kiss you at least?” Eren rasped, his hands twitching at his sides.
“No,” you placed a contrasting sweet kiss to his forehead in your dark tone. “That would be touching, sweetheart.”
Eren held back a whine, knowing it was futile. He was simply going to have to lay there, and take whatever punishment he had coming, unable to escape it or bring you pleasure amongst it all. If there was a glimmer of hope, it was crushed as he felt your face travel down to his neck. You were in complete control, just as Eren had wanted.
You sucked and licked at his throat, your dry hand coming up to squeeze what skin you weren’t kissing. You trailed your lips down, kissing his entire torso. As much as you wanted to spend the time working Eren up, you had ideas swirling in your head. Eren had no patience with you today, so you weren’t going to have patience with him. Besides, it was sort of cruel to not pay immediate attention to his swollen cock.
Your hand slicked in his saliva wrapped around the base of his length, a sharp intake of breath heard from Eren’s lips. It came out shaky as you began to pump, his precum oozing from his tip and meeting the warm wetness of your fingers. You twisted your hand up and down, beginning to feel the moisture rub away, his spit drying. This was no good, and you continued to kiss down his stomach until your lips met the head of his reddened cock. He hissed as you spat on it, hand spreading it all over. Your tongue slipped past your lips, kitten licking at his tip. Eren couldn’t think straight, and he settled his hands above him to try and keep his grip as far away from you as he could.
It was nearly impossible to not grab your hair and slam you down as your sweet lips parted and you began to suck his fat tip. Eren succeeded though, knuckles white gripping pillows, and he heaved out a groan. You swiped your tongue along his slit, tastebuds soaking up his salty precum. You prodded in just a little bit, sending a shiver up Eren’s spine. Your hand still doing most of the work, you thought you’d up the game by throwing your other hand in the mix. Eren let out a high pitched moan, throwing his head back at the onslaught of attention.
“It’s so fucking cruel I can’t touch you,” he whined yet again, craning his neck to meet your eyes.
You popped your mouth from his head, “I guess I’m going to be downright evil after what I’m about to do.”
Before Eren could respond, your hands moved to his thighs and his cock was swallowed into the back of your throat. He couldn’t stop the noises he was making as you bobbed your head unbelievably fast, sucking him more and more until your nose buried into the neatly kept curls above his shaft. You were trying your hardest not to gag, your throat entirely full, and Eren was trying his hardest not to cum on impact. You pulled back a bit, tears blinked back from your eyes, and returned a single hand to work what you couldn’t reach.
Eren’s thighs tightened, his breathing hitching, “Fuck, I’m getting so close.”
At this reveal, your pace only quickened, full intentions of bringing him to his utmost height. Your cheeks sucked harder, tongue lapping the underside of his length, and you were covered in your own spit. Sloppy and messy, just how Eren liked it. How you seemed to like it, as well.
“Right there, don’t stop, don’t stop,” Eren called out alongside your name, hips bucking into your mouth. Your other hand met the swell of his balls, feeling them tighten up as his release was right there. As Eren let out the first whine to signal his climax, you yanked your hands away and slipped your mouth off with a pop.
He spasmed, too far gone to stop. His dick stood tall, shooting his load onto his stomach, throbbing so hard and so uncomfortably that tears rolled down Eren’s cheeks. You had ruined his orgasm. His cock was leaking clear fluid, his body frustrated with the lack of contact, entirely unsatisfied. His jaw slacked open, eyebrows furrowed as he gazed at you in disbelief.
“That’s what you get for trying to piss me off all day,” you growled, wiping the spit from your mouth with the back of your hand. “Stay right there, Eren.”
You got off the bed, reaching into your bedside table to pull out two objects — a tiny vibrator and a suit tie. You yanked Eren’s hands up, tying them to your headboard. You undressed yourself quickly, revealing your naked body to Eren’s greedy eyes. His dick hadn’t softened, still painfully erect and needy as he subconsciously bucked into the air. You didn’t comment, knowing how bad Eren wanted you and your attention back to his pulsating member. You threw your thighs around his neck, straddling the lower half of his face.
“You want me to touch you?” Eren nodded, tears still pooling in the corners of his eyes. “Make me cum, and I’ll return the favor.”
Easy enough, Eren thought, lolling his tongue out for you to place your glistening folds on. You sat down fully, letting out a moan as your hips circled his mouth, your hands latched into his hair. Eren heard the soft click of the vibrator in your hands, and moved his south south, knowing exactly what it was you were searching for.
You gasped as his tongue penetrated your tight hole, walls fluttering around his wet muscle as you slid the vibrator right up to your clit. If Eren had only had his hands, you wouldn’t need that little toy to satisfy you. He’d be doing all the work, bringing you all your pleasure up to your climax. All Eren’s work, but you didn’t want him to have that satisfaction.
Because this was you, and you were in full control, there was absolutely no point in teasing yourself. You were rewarding yourself, Eren just happened to be a part of the ride, literally. You thought of all the mean words he had said to you today, all the teases and inconveniences. Your hand in his hard gripped harder, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood as you tried to level your moans.
“You pissed me off so fucking bad today,” your head was thrown back as Eren fucked you with his tongue, your hips pressing down harder. “You were so mean. Now look at you, pathetic. Letting me fuck your face like the little brat you are.”
Eren felt his cock twitch, feeling similar waves of humiliation you had felt today. He knew better than to speak, instead, thrusting his tongue even harder into your entrance to show his response. You were right, he had wanted to feel completely powerless under your wrath, wanted you to use him as if he was disposable, to punish him. When he felt your hand leave his hair, feeling the harsh sting of a slap on his chest behind your ass, he was grateful. This is all he wanted, tears brought to his eyes in pure joy.
Your nails dug into his peck, your orgasm fast approaching, “Oh my God, you’re such a good boy, keep going. Oh fuck, Eren I’m about to cum.”
Eren felt pure pride and love swell in his body, ruined by a cold chill of blinding pleasure. No, no, he was not going to cum with no contact, surely? His scrotum tightened, eyes slamming shut. You were going to be livid when you saw the mess he was creating.
Eren’s cock shot thick white ropes into your back, yes, from that far away. It was just all too much, the degradation, it was like your words had been stroking him up the entire time. His body vibrated, but he forced his eyes to open to watch you fall apart above him.
Your wrist flicked fast with the vibrator in hand, feeling your walls clench and tip over the edge. You screamed breathlessly, pushing your entire lower half into Eren’s mouth. Eren could feel the tingle of your toy against his nose, a small goofy smile on his lips as he thought of how funny it would be if he sneezed. You pulled it away quickly though, mind coming back together as you began to worry about how hard you had pushed into his face. Your orgasm slowed, walls contracting at a much lazier pace, and you lifted your hips.
“Good boy,” you praised, eyes full of love as you reached up to untie his hands. “You did such a good job, baby.”
You hadn’t noticed what Eren had done until you felt a cold brush against your lower back and ass. You hand circled around, feeling the wet sticky spots, and your jaw dropped.
“Eren, did you cum from just eating me out?”
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it,” he was pleading, shying away from your widened eyes. “Was too much.”
Eren thought you would’ve been furious, instead, a soft laugh echoed in your chest. You moved off of him, laying on your stomach to place a sweet kiss to his lips. He eagerly returned it, happiness tickling throughout his entire body. When you pulled away, you rested your head on his shoulder while his arms circled your waist.
“That’s the hottest thing ever,” you admitted, curling a strand of his hair in your finger.
“I’m going to piss you off more often,” Eren joked lightly, kissing the tip of your nose. “I like this side of you.”
“Please, Eren, don’t. Next time you want me to top, just fucking ask me.”
LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.
1K notes · View notes
beomglocks · 3 years
Text
happy (very) 'belated' father’s day
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summary : the only father willing to come to the dinner
pairing : dilf neighbor!soobin x (legal)!reader x beomgyu (?)
warnings & other: i wrote the day after fathers day, the title is edited bc im posting this like WAY later LOL, threesome (?), degradation, some beomgyu (no incest), sub!beomgyu if you squint like really fucking hard, definitely not a normal relationship, slight exhibitionism, some possessiveness, DON’T read if you’re uncomfortable with age gaps, edit: REwriting this, this one is for the dilf soobin stans, eat up, don't say i don't feed yall, enjoy <3, kind of proofread
w/c : ~4k
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you realize it now.
after living side by side with mr. choi soobin and his son, beomgyu, for a couple of weeks, you’ve started to realize something quite interesting.
1. your mother has a liking for tall lean men.
2. she also has a liking for trying to set you up with the tall lean mens’ son.
now, you wouldn't say you're exactly opposed to getting close to beomgyu. he's conventionally attractive and he seems like a nice boy but you're very much more attracted to the one who created him. it made sense after all.
"give these to mr. choi for me?" your mother all but shoves the roses and chocolates in your arms. you look down quizzically at such gifts. "it's not valentine's day.." you trail off.
you have a strange feeling that soobin would be put off by such acts, not seeming to be as out there as your mother. she doesn't care.
"it's fathers day..well it was...yesterday," she shrugs, fixing her bombshell red lipstick. why was she doing herself up? well a certain mr. choi was coming over.
despite the fact that your own father was out of the picture, that didn't stop your mom from wanting to celebrate every holiday in existence. unfortunately, the only willing father in town to partake in your mother's antics was mr. choi.
he liked to rile her up, you notice. soobin liked to toy with your mother's clear affection towards him, just as he did you. he also liked to throw it in your face sometimes. you didn't say what you observed but you knew he liked to make her feel wanted by a much younger, much more handsome man.
without another word, you decide to give the outlandish gifts to your neighbor. you sigh, looking down at the gifts. some assorted chocolates, nice flower arrangements, and what seems to be a sealed note? you want to roll your eyes but a part of you wonders if soobin would really like these kinds of things.
when you get to the door and ring the bell, the door swings open and there's stands the man himself. he's more put together than you at the moment so you feel out of place even at the front step of his house.
"always a pleasant surprise~" he smiles. his eyes trail down to the gifts in your arms. "for me?" his eyes grow wide and his pouty lips, the ones which you suddenly can't stop staring at since they seemed to be stained cherry red, lay slightly agape.
"from my mom," you deadpan, holding the gifts out. "she's generous~" "overbearing," you correct. "we seem to have different views then," he shrugs. "where's my gift from you though? this can't be all," he ponders in faux thought.
you smile shyly, looking down in embarrassment. "what did you get me baby?" he teasingly leans down closer to you to properly see your face. "could it be perhaps-"
before soobin can place a hand on you, beomgyu comes from downstairs. he's looking sharp, which suits him a lot, you admit. his hair is parted, giving you a teasing view of his forehead. regardless of the fact that he's wearing casual clothes, a stark contrast from his father who dawns an all black attire, beomgyu still manages to make it work for him.
"we'll be seeing you at the dinner," soobin clears his throat, noticing your apparent staring at his son. you can tell that he feels off put by your slight attraction to beomgyu. however small or minuscule it may be its still there to him.
the dinner goes almost exactly how you thought it would. soobin and your mother hit it off, talking about whatever they could to distract themselves from their children for a while. to your surprise soobin barely interacts with you. he seems too occupied with entertaining your mom to pay you any mind.
you're not sure why but this bothers you. beomgyu is occupied in the bathroom at the moment so you can't help but glance in their direction every couple of seconds. your mom is currently leaning against soobin's broad shoulder, laughing at something he's previously said. so he’s a comedian.
you watch as he looks down at her with a satisfied smile on his face. you bite the inside on your cheek and as if on cue, soobin looks up in your direction and smirks. it's almost as if he's taunting you. you bite down harder until you taste something metallic in your mouth.
you're not sure where this feeling of jealously is coming from and you know it's not healthy but you can't help it. maybe you've gotten too attached to your older neighbor in these past couple of weeks.
beomgyu comes out of the restroom with a sigh, walking back into the living room where you are. he can feel a weird tension in your general area but decides not to comment on it. suddenly you stand up, catching beomgyu off guard.
"come on beomgyu!" you say loud enough for everyone to hear especially soobin. the man in question practically pauses in speech midway to look over at you and his son. he eyes you both, mainly giving you a glare that will be engraved in your mind but you don't care. he needs a taste of his own medicine.
"come on let's go to my room, i need to show you something~" you urge him along. meanwhile, you say those words while staring straight at soobin. you hear your mom assure him that it's ok, "the kids are doing their own thing." you knew you were being childish and petty but if soobin wanted to fuck around with you this is what he would have to deal with as well.
you drag beomgyu along to your room who seems quite eager to be in this position. all he knows is that there's a weird tension between you and his father but that's as far as his knowledge goes.
when you both arrive at your room you close the door behind you and lean back on it. "is everything alright?" beomgyu hesitantly asks. you sigh, ushering him along to sit on the bed with you. he looks around subtly at all the little items in your room. everything seems to reflect you well, in his opinion. "well.." you try to stall.
you look up at him through your lashes. "you like me right?" beomgyu stares at you with wide eyes, "i-i mean yeah?" he stutters at your boldness.
"then lets try something," you smile at him, casually pulling your shirt over your head. "let's see how long it takes for your dad to come see us in this position," you say to yourself.
soobin doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to know what's going on here. he knows you're being a brat on purpose but he doesn't care because it makes it all the more fun. he will say he's surprised that you're using beomgyu, his own son, to get to him.
at first, he was getting annoyed with how you seemed to take a liking for his son which is why he wanted to rile you up by seeming extra interested in whatever your mom had to say. now, however, he knew he had a plan for that. you were not going to outsmart him, he wouldn't allow it and he would just have to put you in your place.
"excuse me but i need to use your restroom," soobin makes up a bullshit excuse to get to where you are. "oh of course!" your mom nods at him, instructing him towards the one upstairs. perfect.
"ill just finish up the dinner then!" your mother offers. "great that's enough time to put this slut in her place," he thinks. he smiles at your mom heading for upstairs.
"beomgyu you look like you just saw a ghost," you chuckle lightly, looking down at him. "y/n," he groans at the sight of only seeing you in your bra. he reaches up to grab your breasts, fondling them as delicately as possible. "you can be rough," you offer.
without even bothering to knock on the door, soobin opens it to see you both on the bed in a lewd position. you shirtless on top of beomgyu. he sucks his teeth when you both look back in alarm at the door being burst open. "y/n," he chuckles, almost sadistically.
you can already see the look in his eyes and suddenly you feel bad for not only yourself but beomgyu as well. you try to subtly grab your shirt again in shame but soobin's glare stops you. "what do you think you're doing little slut?" he folds his arms over his chest. not even caring that beomgyu is in the room, he walks over to you and grabs your hair causing you to yelp in surprise.
"s-sir.." soobin narrows his eyes at you then they flit over to beomgyu. "sit over there," he motions to the beanbag in the corner of the room. "i want you to learn something from this." without another word, beomgyu scrambles over to the seat, his heart beating in fear and excitement strangely.
you feel heat rising up your neck and to your cheeks as well as your dripping pussy. "don't be embarrassed, im sure this was your plan all along," soobin tsks, shoving your face down into the sheets. you breathe out when he rips the skirt and underwear from your body without a second thought. the racy thong that was supposed to be his surprise for father's day discarded in a second.
"soobin-" a smack to your ass. "that's not my name."
he doesn't even give you a chance to correct yourself, messing with your sticky juices before entering his cold fingers into your hole. you try to stifle your moan by burying your head further into the sheets.
"god you're so wet," soobin comments. he slowly moves his finger in and out for a while, practically torturing you with how meticulous and slow he's being. "please," you whine pathetically. "please what?" he slows his movements to stare at you with a raised eyebrow.
"please f-fuck me, please, i need your cock," you beg shamelessly. beomgyu breathes heavily, trying to forget about his growing boner but not being able to ignore it. he painfully wants to do something about it but he's not sure if he's allowed to touch himself.
he opts for subtly dragging his hand to his clothed crotch and palming himself through his pants, as uncomfortable as it is. in the meantime, soobin rids himself of his own pants, shaking his head.
he lightly smacks your throbbing pussy and you jolt. "do you seriously think you deserve it? fuck, look at you, can’t wait to be fucked like a bitch in heat~" you whine, wiggling your ass wordlessly in his face to hopefully get what you want.
soobin rubs your clit with narrowed eyes, making sure beomgyu is watching. he could care less that beomgyu is touching himself. he drags some of your cum from your hole to your clit and sighs. "alright then.."
he aligns himself with your hole and without another word slips his cock in with ease, completely bottoming out.
you want to scream at how big he is but you're only left with ragged pants as you know you're unable to make any loud noises. it seriously feels like you could be torn apart at any minute but you love the feeling of soobin’s cock filling you out.
"you're so tight seriously," soobin breathes. he can barely move at first. the way his dick fits inside of your pussy perfectly. he almost wants to comment about how you were practically made for him. he's sure if he flips you over right now, he would see the outline of his cock in your womb.
after waiting a bit for you to adjust to his length he finally starts moving. "shit-" he breathes. you have to grip the sheets to stop yourself from yelling. soobin's hands find their way to your waist and when you look to the side just for a split second you can see beomgyu fighting for his life to not moan out loud.
"look beomgyu-" soobin says in between jagged breaths. "if you wanna fuck around with his pathetic slut this is how you treat her." a moan gets caught in your throat when soobin pounds into you at once. "ah- i-" a part of you wants to apologize and is trying to but he won't give you a chance to speak.
"isn't that right my slutpuppy? did you have something to add?" at the sound of the nickname your walls tighten around him and he sends a harsh smack to your ass. "you're enjoying this aren't you?" he rolls his eyes and sighs heavily.
soobin thrusts start getting faster and faster, beomgyu watching with his mouth agape at his father kissing and sucking at your neck to muffle his own moans. beomgyu can only bite his lip and noises from his throat barely pass his lips as he reaches his high.
soobin growls at seeing your eyes focus on beomgyu so he starts slamming his cock into you at an animalistic pace and you think you might break.
beomgyu bucks into his hand as he cums from the sound and sight of skin slapping added with the tiny noises you'd make. not too long after you feel yourself shudder, unable to warn soobin that you had come you squeeze your eyes shut and let out a whine instead.
"fuck- ok baby," soobin understands as soon as your walls squeeze around him. he pants a couple a times and as soon as he reaches his high he pulls out, pumping his cock to let his cum shoot out on your ass.
"s-sir," you moan. "shhh it's ok." soobin sighs heavily, coming down from his own high to tend to your broken state. he looks over at beomgyu, who's head is lulled to the side as he gazes at your sweat and semen covered body.
soobin sucks his teeth deciding not to say anything to the boy and let him chill for a minute. he shrugs his pants back on and carries you in his arms to the nearest bathroom.
you cozy up to his warm embrace, letting out a sigh. "baby we need to clean you off.." you hear him whisper. you almost completely forget that there's a dinner that's supposed to be happening and you cant just go to sleep with soobin like you'd want.
a sudden coldness hits your body and you shiver. "ok," you agree. his cum is already starting to dry on you and you want nothing more than to be cleaned like he offers. you're not sure how you'll explain your change of clothes to your mom but you're sure you'll come up with something later.
no words need to be spoken after what happened and you're glad because you're not sure what to say. soobin doesn't seem keen on talking at the moment either, too focused on cleaning you off, so you decide to stay quiet.
it's silent in the bathroom until you both hear your mother all out. "dinner's ready!"
you chuckle, breaking the silence as soobin looks up at you with a questioning eyebrow. “happy father’s day.”
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xlbrh · 3 years
Text
Genshin Impact - Small things they do to show their love
notes : so i’ve been trying to think of an idea for a long story to write for one of the characters, but i’ve been having a little bit of trouble :( if anyone has any suggestions i’d love to hear them! hopefully i’ll be able to come out with an introduction or something soon 
in the meantime i wrote this up, so i hope that you guys enjoy!
Genshin Masterlist
warnings : none
format : bulleted, headcanons. fluff
pairings : diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli, xiao, albedo, aether x gn! reader
word count : 1426
everything under the cut-
Diluc:
during your nightly walks around mondstadt, he notices how chills can rack your body, especially when the wind blows
he’ll remove his jacket and drape it around your form, no matter how much you may protest
sometimes his arms will circle around your waist, drawing you towards him in an effort toto keep you warm until you get home
if you’ve been out adventuring close to the dawn winery, he’d invite you to the manor to share a meal or drink, whichever you’d like
whatever you desire, he’ll see to it that you receive it – most of the time he wouldn’t even ask you due to how well he can read you and your actions
when you try to refuse his offers, he’ll tell you ‘just let me look after you, my love’  
when you come to visit him in the angel’s share, he always has a seat ready just for you
he’ll keep a blanket and some books under the bar, since he knows how you like to curl up in the corner, engrossed in your reading
if you’d like he’ll come and sit with you for a short while, bringing a drink of your choice over while you tell each other about your day
Kaeya:
kaeya is the kind of man to call you every pet name under the sun
whether it be sweetheart, darling, love etc. he loves to use these types of names for you frequently, as a form of affection
he loves your reactions to them, especially when your cheeks flare up and you turn away out of shyness – he finds it extremely endearing
he would offer to train you in swordsmanship, regardless of whether you can already wield a sword or not
he likes to not only see your strength grow, but also offer you a way to protect yourself since he cannot be with you at all times
kaeya takes pride in the training sessions you have, after all they give him another reason to spend even more time with you
he loves for you guys to have matching things, no matter how small they may be 
for example, he’ll buy you a bracelet to wear, one that matches with one on his own wrist as well
jokingly he once bought you an eyepatch to match his, but he finds it sweet but hilarious when you’ll wear it around him sometimes
Childe:
since this man is a literal walking wallet, he has no problem with spoiling you with gifts
whether that be a necklace you’ve had your eye on, a new shirt because you ripped yours in battle, or a book he knows is the next in the series you enjoy
when asking him why he leaves you so many small gifts, his response is just ‘well, because i love you, of course!’
if you ever get hurt during a battle, he’ll be the first to help you
whether that be taking down the enemies if you haven’t already, or tending to the wounds you’ve received
he’d work with utmost caution, wrapping each wound gently and finishing them off with a kiss on top
when strolling the streets of liyue together, childe ensures that your body is connected to his one way or another at all times
whether that be intertwining your hands together, an arm loosely wrapped around your waist, or stopping to give you a brief peck on the forehead
he has no qualms in showing the public that you’re his – something he makes you well aware of
Zhongli:
he knows you love when he tells you stories of his past and the history of liyue, and he enjoys telling you about them
he finds the childlike wonder in your eyes adorable as he tells you tales of adepti and archons alike
zhongli will try his best to make them as entertaining as possible for you – drawing you in with every word he uttered
he likes to play with your hair, and for you to do the same to him
if you have longer hair you can guarantee he’d be braiding and styling your hair in all different ways, adorning it with hairpins he’d purchase for you
if your hair is on the shorter side then he’d love to run his fingers through, stroking your hair and massaging your scalp until you fall asleep with your head against his chest
if there is anything in particular that you take a big interest in, zhongli will try his best to research around it – even though he probably has the knowledge anyways
he wants to be able to talk to you about things you’re interested in, as well as share in the enjoyment that you get from it
he would leave small notes to you when he can’t always be around you, sometimes with small facts he learned of
Xiao:
he would for sure watch over you if you ever go on a long adventure, no matter what other duties he may have to attend to
expect to see a good few hilichurl and treasure hoarder camps abandoned thanks to his interference
‘anything to ensure your safety’, he thinks
some nights, when his duties have been fulfilled early, he’ll try his hand at preparing a meal for you to share
of course nothing especially fancy! After all he doesn’t have to eat himself – its all for your enjoyment
if he struggles he’d probably reach out to verr goldet some help
just imagine him setting a small picnic up on the wangshu inn rooftop iM WEAK
once xiao finally becomes accustomed to physical contact, he’d make an effort to hold your hand a lot more often
lightly squeezing it or tracing shapes with his thumb every now and again
if you’re lucky he way even take his gloves off – just to feel that warmth from his hand can be very comforting indeed
Albedo:
you’re literally the only person he will listen to when he is engrossed in his experiments
as we know he tends to block out the rest of the world when he is deep in though
but as soon as he hears your voice of concern asking if he’ll take a break to eat, you wanna bet he’ll be leaving his office in an instant to join you for lunch
he does the exact same for you when you’re hard at work, so he appreciates the way you always look after him
when out looking for more specimens to analyse, he stumbles across his fair share of flowers
of course he knows which are your favourites – he knows everything about you, after all – so he’ll be sure to pick some to bring home to you
when giving them to you, he mentions ‘well, they reminded me of you, so i thought you’d like them’
if you ever get ill for some reason, albedo becomes your personal doctor
he’ll spend hours preparing serums and medicines for you to alleviate your pain – but will never let you out of his sight while doing so
he’ll ask noelle if she can fix up some food for you in the meantime, since at every free opportunity he’s sat at your bedside, hand in yours as he whispers words of comfort to you
Aether:
aether is always ready to make you something to eat whenever you’d like!
he for sure has a small section of his brain dedicated to learning of recipes that he knows you enjoy, no matter how simple or complicated they may be
will make sure that you always have some lunch ready to take with you wherever you go, even if it means he had to wake up early and travel halfway across teyvat to bring it to you
he will bring you back numerous treasures from his travels
sometimes he’ll ask the locals in whichever area he’s in if they can craft the raw materials into something that you can treasure
there would be a shelf in your room specifically for aether’s gifts, where he’ll occasionally point to each one and tell you the story of how it made it’s way back to you
he makes sure to let you know how grateful he is to have you by his side
every time you do something for him, no matter how small it may be, he’ll thank you and let you know how much you mean to him
when on his travels he makes sure to write letters and send them home to you – just because he’s far away doesn’t mean he’s not still thinking about you
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egcdeath · 3 years
Text
ways to say i love you without saying “i love you”
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pairing: steve rogers x reader
summary: you and steve explore love languages
word count: 5.1k
warnings: fluff, a little angst because of miscommunications, reader & steve being idiots, good intentions but terrible delivery, mentions of other characters
author’s note: this fic has been sitting unfinished in my drafts for so long. this fic is like, ancient. this fic was almost destroyed because it was briefly in the library of alexandria. when i reopened the document with this fic, there were mold spores growing on it. (p.s. steve’s love langauge is acts of service, and the reader’s is quality time)
you can find my masterlist and taglist here
Prologue
Steve was a multitasker. You knew this well. Perhaps too well.
That never seemed to bother you before, but if the man who was supposed to be taking a serene nature walk with you checked his goddamn flip phone one more time, you were completely sure that you’d lose it. 
You paused your story about your obnoxious coworkers for a moment, stopping in the middle of the gravelly trail you two were making your way down. 
“Steve, seriously, are you even listening?” you griped, ushering him towards the side of the pavement as a man on a bike flew by. 
He guffawed a bit at this, “of course I am. You just said something about…” he paused, and you gestured with your hands for him to continue. “Okay, sorry,” the blush on his face was becoming more and more apparent.
You involuntarily scoffed, rolling your eyes as you did so, “I’m glad to know that whatever you’re waiting for on there,” you gestured to his pocket, “is more important than spending quality time with your girlfriend, who, must I remind you, took time off to be here with you.”
“Nothing is more important to me than you, I’m just on call. I’m probably going to get called to go on a mission any moment now.”
“Steve!” you huffed, “you literally just got back, like, two hours ago. Can’t someone else go? Tony? Vision? Anyone?”
“I might’ve volunteered myself-“
“You’re unbelievable, Steve. Are you getting tired of me or something? You’ve been avoiding me like the plague ever since I moved in with you. If I upset you, or you’re gonna propose to me or something, can you just tell me?”
“I promise you it’s not personal at all,” he reached for your hand and gently held it. “Everything’s just been crazy. I mean, these Hydra bases have been popping up left and right. Just give me a little grace, okay? I don’t get upset with you when SHIELD starts making you work those ungodly hours.”
You opened your mouth to debate him, but surely enough, the canny and familiar ringtone of Steve’s work phone interrupted you before you could even begin. 
“Okay… Yeah. I’ll be there in thirty.”
You frowned at Steve as he spoke on the phone and shook your head disapprovingly, “unbelievable,” you muttered, storming in the direction of your home. 
——
Steve was no fool, he knew when he messed up, and he was more than willing to take responsibility for such. Now was one of those times. He knew that he should’ve been making more time for you. He was well aware that he shouldn’t have gotten defensive when you pointed this out. 
He just had no idea how to apologize.
You weren’t exactly making it easy for him either, taking much longer hours in an attempt to avoid him. While he could understand your frustrations, it became a little more difficult everyday for him to properly apologize to you in a way he felt was meaningful.
Eventually figuring to use your avoidance as a tool, Steve devised a plot to make an apology for you so considerate, so superb, that you could never be angry with him again. A plot that included a several course meal, all concocted by himself. 
He could imagine the look on your face as you came home from work, shocked, but the good kind of shock. Pleasantly surprised that your sweet boyfriend had put in such a huge amount of effort to say sorry. 
He couldn’t help but imagine the scenario: you would relax into your seat at the table after Steve pulled out the chair for you, hum in content as he poured your favorite wine. Moan happily at the taste of a homemade and rarely prepared salad dressing, before complimenting the melt-in-your-mouth entree he had spent an unknown amount of time laboring over. Finally, you’d gush over the dessert that Steve hadn’t had the chance to cook in years, tell him that he worked far too hard putting everything together, especially for a little argument. Steve would scoff, tell you you’re being too kind, and you would pull him in for a red wine and dark chocolate flavored kiss. 
The thought of you, your genuine and warm smile after a long day at work, and an even longer week worth of unspoken tension between you both, was enough to keep Steve motivated through the hours he spent preparing your meal.
He greeted you at the door like an excited puppy as soon as he heard your keys jingle. Sure, work had kept you a bit longer than he’d expected, and your food was likely a little cool by now, but he was excited to make amends. 
However, you did not seem to share the same enthusiasm as Steve. 
“Welcome home, gorgeous. Come sit,” Steve nudged you into the dining area, and you sluggishly followed, exhausted from a tiring day of training new agents.
“What’s wrong?” he inquired, pulling out a chair that you didn’t even attempt to sit down on. 
“I had a really long day. I kinda just wanna get to bed,” you shrugged before rubbing your creased temple.
Steve internally cringed at the thought of all of his hard work going to waste. For some reason, he’d not envisioned this less pleasant outcome before. “Sweetheart,” he began in a nearly whiny tone, but you weren’t in much of a mood to be persuaded.
“I’m sorry. Weird things were happening at work that I don’t care to get into now, and honestly, I’m not even that hungry,” you reached out and gave Steve’s hand a little squeeze. “But it all looks and smells so good! I Promise I’ll warm some up tomorrow for lunch.”
“I-,” he paused, “please. Maybe you could just take a few bites of everything. It took me a really long time to get everything prepped and ready.”
You frowned at the plea, feeling a bit guilty but almost… satisfied at the same time. Steve struggled to make time for you because of his work, and now he was getting a little taste of his own medicine. 
“I really am sorry. But hey, now we’re even?” you offered with a playful wink, slipping away before you gave your partner a chance to respond. You truly didn’t have the energy for a four course meal that night, let alone another argument. 
——
Wanda was silent for a moment as she sipped from a mug of coffee, watching you with a suspiciously focused look on her face. 
“Wanda?” you prompted, seemingly snapping her out of whatever trance she had found herself in. 
“Oh my God, I know exactly what you guys need,” she just about blurted, reaching across the café table to grab your hand. 
“Were you reading my mind?”
Your friend didn’t respond, but the devious smirk on her face was enough of an answer. 
“What happened to telling me before reading me?”
“You just looked like there was a lot on your mind. And absolutely no way that you’d tell me,” she shrugged nonchalantly.
“Of course I was gonna tell you! Why else would I ask my friend in a cute relationship to meet me for coffee?”
“Because you like me?”
“No, never that. I just needed advice,” the two of you shared a laugh for a moment.
“Well don’t waste your breath. When Vis and I had a rough patch, we just had to learn each other’s love languages. You’d be surprised just how much that synthezoid values those acts of services.”
“And you?”
“I’m a words of affirmation girl myself,” she shrugged. “You should find out yours, and try to figure out Steve’s. I guarantee it’ll be helpful in the long run. I can send you guys a test, if you want?”
“Oh god no, please don’t tell him that I told you about us. Actually, I didn’t even tell you! You were digging around in my brain, and I don’t appreciate that. Just do me a favor, and don’t share this with anyone, okay?” You paused dramatically, then leaned in to speak to your friend in a whisper, “but send me that test when you get the chance.”
Gift Giving
“A little reality-warping birdie told me you’ve been having some relationship problems,” Tony said teasingly once Bruce left the conference room, leaving him and Steve alone. 
Steve paused for a moment, trying to decide whether he should lie or fess up to the allegation. “How did she know?” Steve finally responded, standing up and pushing the chair he was sitting on behind him. 
Tony shrugged dismissively, “I don’t ask these kinds of things. I just hear in passing that the geriatric is having a hard time and tune in.”
Steve shook his head slightly, rolling his eyes to mask his clear embarrassment. 
“Well, is it true?”
“We’ve just been having the occasional… rift. A little more than occasionally.”
Tony nodded, fake pondering the situation, “well, I always know what I do for Pep, at least after I tell her I’m getting rid of the suit. Go buy her something nice. Really nice, like jewelry, or a purse if she’s into that kind of thing. I would say a car, but I know that Social Security check isn’t getting you too far. You know what? Put it on the company card. My treat.”
Steve wanted to scoff, turn his nose up at the offer like it was a terrible idea, but it really wasn’t. Maybe a material surprise was the way to win you back. He made a soft ‘hmph,’ noise as he mulled it over. “That’s definitely not your worst idea. Thanks,” he gave his teammate a soft smile before collecting himself and heading out of the conference room. 
His first stop after work was some local jeweler. Steve threw on a (not very) inconspicuous outfit before entering the building, where he browsed for a good hour, searching for something that he believed you’d like. After looking at more jewelry than he had ever cared to see in his life, he decided on a necklace with a thin golden chain with a decent sized diamond hanging off of it. It was a little pricier, and you’d be able to tell— but he hoped it would help the gift mean more to you. 
——
When you arrived home late that night, Steve was sitting in the living room waiting for you. It was almost daunting, the sight of him sitting alone on the couch mostly in the dark, only the television illuminating his face. He kind of reminded you of a parent waiting to confront their child who just snuck out, or a concerned friend seconds away from staging an intervention with you. 
Walking past the room, you peeked your head through the doorway, and observed the flat, small box in front of him on the coffee table. 
“Hey, Sweetheart,” he greeted, standing up so he could greet you with a hug and grabbing the little box as he did so.
“Is everything okay?” you probed, speaking into Steve’s shoulder.
“Of course. I just wanted you to know how much I love you, and that I’m sorry for not having as much time for you as I should,” he pulled away before holding the box out for you. 
You hesitantly took the box and opened it, letting out a gasp when you viewed the delicate looking gold necklace. 
You were having mixed emotions, because it was clearly beautiful and you were grateful to the gesture. But you knew that this must’ve been expensive, and that it was so unlike Steve to have done something like this. Your frugal, Great Depression era guy wasn’t exactly the most material. 
“I love it,” you gushed, admiring the jewelry. 
“Can I put it on you?” Steve asked, and received a nod in return.
Steve set the box down on the table and lifted up the necklace, bringing it up to your neck and focusing on clasping it in the back.
“Babe, how much was this?” you blurted, not even being able to filter the words before they left your mouth. 
“Hmm? That doesn’t matter,” he dismissed, then stepped away from you to admire your clavicle. 
“It just feels weird letting you spend so much on me.”
“It’s a gift, though. You’re not supposed to think about those things,” he hummed, pressing a chaste peck to your nose. 
“Steve, I got you a Nespresso for Christmas and you wouldn’t stop complaining about how expensive it was. I love it, I really do. It’s beautiful and I’ll always think of you when I wear it. I just think that maybe we should have the same standards for each other,” you stood up from your seat and sidestepped him. “I need a shower.”
Steve watched you walk off, letting your words simmer in his thoughts.
That was the last time he would take relationship advice from Tony. 
Words of Affirmation
This conclusion probably shouldn’t have taken you this long, but you were almost completely sure that this would be the love language to win Steve back over. You felt bad for some of the occurrences between the two of you lately, with sour exchanges and sweet moments that turned bitter on a whim.
In all honesty, you were concerned that Steve doubted your love for him. And if his love language really was words of affirmation, this would certainly convince him otherwise. 
You sat at your desk the night before Steve departed for a two-week mission, trying to write a nice message for him. You tapped your pen on the stock paper in deep thought as you tried to figure out the best thing to say. 
I’m sorry for arguing so much with you lately. You and everything that you do mean the world to me, even when you get on my nerves. I love you more than anything and that will never change. 
The words looked cramped and unkempt on the little note. Your handwriting got messier as you went. You groaned at it, crumpled the paper, and tossed it in your trash bin. Time to start over again.
I’m sorry for arguing with you. I love you a lot. Can you stop picking up your phone when we’re spending time together?
You groaned at the passive aggressive tone of your message. That certainly wasn’t going to get you anywhere. Straight to the bin it goes.
I love you so much so don’t die on your mission or I’ll be pretty upset. Be safe out there xx.
The tone was even more off now. You needed to think of something that would really make Steve remember you while he was gone. For a second, you considered snapping a nude with a polaroid and attaching it to the letter.
I’m sorry that things have been so bad nasty for us lately. I promise that I love you, despite our ups and downs. Nothing will ever change that. I’ll miss you more than you know while you’re gone. Make sure you call me every day, my love. 
A little cheesy, but you signed off with your name regardless, and contentedly looked at your work. The spacing looked correct, the tone wasn’t harsh, and you knew for a fact that Steve would appreciate it.
You stayed up a little later than normal, waiting for Steve to get home and change out of his ‘work clothes’ so that you could slip the note into his utility belt. 
You folded the note to a small little square and set it beside an granola bar in a pocket you’d assumed he frequently used. Content with your work, you laid back in bed until your partner slipped in bed beside you, and sleepily cuddled into you until you were both unconscious. 
Around two weeks had passed since Steve had seen you last, and he had decided to stop by the office and finish up paperwork before coming to see you. It had been radio silence on his end, despite the note in his clothing that clearly requested daily contact. Part of you wondered if Steve had seen it at all.
Steve had just finished signing the documents when he finally noticed it, reaching into a sparsely used part of his belt to have a quick snack. His hand landed on a folded piece of paper, and he cringed as he unfolded it, the letter becoming clearer and clearer as he did so. He wondered just how long the message had been waiting for him. 
He read your sweet words with a frown on his face, the guilt from not opening it sooner overriding the sweet feelings that he would otherwise have. He grabbed his phone and considered texting you, but abandoned that thought altogether. 
“FRIDAY, any idea where Y/N is right now?”
“I was told not to share any information about Ms. L/N, Captain Rogers.”
“Whose orders?” Steve pressed.
“Hers,” the bot quipped back. 
Steve groaned aloud. He was really in for it tonight.
Physical Touch
“Have you tried touching her more?” Thor casually queried. The water that Steve had just consumed nearly flew out of his nose, and his cheeks reddened instantly. 
“Pardon?” he asked, looking away from his friend instantly. 
“I understand that you and Y/N have been having troubles lately. Perhaps she does not feel held by you. Maybe she wants you to show her off in public, to hold her hand, hug her,” he suggested. 
Could Steve even be blamed for going there? He was having a chat with a god of fertility. Who wouldn’t think the same? 
“Stark’s gala tonight. Show the world that she’s yours, and I guarantee that she’ll love every moment of it.”
——
You were confused. Really confused.
The night began with some simple touches, hand holding as you entered the building, a casual arm around your waist as you chatted with donors and politicians you hadn’t seen in months, a playful match of footsie under the table while waiting for food. But it came to a head when Steve had decided to rest his hand on your ass and grope you in the midst of a conversation.
Now, in any other situation, you would welcome this affection. But both you and Steve had never been a fan of PDA, and this was a bit too far. 
As subtle as you could manage, you pushed his hand away, offering him a sour look as you did so. 
“Excuse us,” you told some rich old man in an artificially sweet tone before ushering Steve off to his office for a bit more privacy.
“What was that about?” you questioned, sitting down in the padded chair behind Steve’s desk, and running your fingers over your necklace in a bit of a nervous tick. 
“What do you mean?” he retorted, standing across from you at the desk and setting his hands on top of the clear table.
“Why were you groping me in front of people? That’s really... unlike you. And it made me uncomfortable.”
Steve frowned genuinely, looking down at the table in embarrassment. “I’m really sorry. For making you uncomfortable. It sounds ridiculous but I was just trying something new.”
“Apology accepted, but are you sure? You weren’t like, jealous of those guys or something? You know you’re the only hundred year old I have eyes for,” you set your hands atop of his and squeezed.
Steve chuckled at this, the flush of his cheeks only highlighted more by the laughter, “it’s just that, uh, Thor told me I should try showing you off more. Or something like that.”
“So you groped me in front of our guests? That’s silly. And a little unprofessional,” you glanced over at the cork board on his desk sitting next to his desktop, and amongst the neatly arranged scratched out to-do lists and random reminders, you couldn’t help but notice the creased paper of the note you’d left for his mission. Your chest warmed when your eyes fell upon it. 
“When did you find this thing?” you asked, pointing to the note. 
“I meant to say something, but when I found it, FRIDAY said you didn’t want to talk to me. SO I was going to bring it up when I got home, but you were still working. After that, I kinda… you know-”
“Forgot?” you finished with a hearty laugh, “It’s fine. You’re such a dork. C’mere so I can get my own groping in,” you chided, grinning to yourself when Steve wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. 
Acts of Service
Steve was quietly folding your laundry in your bedroom when it finally occurred to you, but when it did, it hit like a ton of bricks.
Steve’s love language was acts of service!
Things suddenly began to make sense to you, the way that he initially attempted to apologize by spending hours cooking one meal, how he consistently worked to make your life as comfortable as possible, and his great insistence to do house chores, despite you being more than capable.
Steve set down a stack of folded sweatshirts by your calf, snapping you away from your brief retrospective daze. If that really was the case, and Steve’s love language truly was acts of kindness, you had to come up with some sort of plan to communicate to him just how much you cared about him in a way that he really appreciated.
Luckily for you, you were a quick thinker. Before you even knew it, a week filled with random acts of kindness before he was off on yet another mission was quickly hatched.
——
You were up at the ass-crack of dawn. Really. Steve liked to get up earlier than the sun in order to run, or train, or whatever the hell it was that superheroes did. You were seriously regretting your decision to wake up around the same time as him in order to do some favors for him in the morning. 
By the time Steve was back from his run, his favorite coffee was brewed and cooling, and you were in the laundry room at the dryer, preparing to give Steve a warm towel after his shower.
Despite the three mugs of coffee you’d just downed, it was becoming more and more difficult to keep your eyes open. It didn’t help that your eyelids felt like they weighed fifty pounds each, and the warmth of the dryer next to you was providing you with just enough comfort to drift off.
And drift you did. In fact, half an hour later, you’d missed the frantic calling out for you from your boyfriend as he searched for you around the apartment. 
You finally awoke when he shook your shoulders, his amused voice bringing you back to consciousness. 
“What’s going on here?” Steve grinned, pushing some hair out of your face. 
“Mmm,” you began, “Iwantedtogetawarmtowel,” you slurred sleepily and incoherently.
“Even with super hearing I couldn’t decipher that. Let’s get you a mattress, okay?” Steve hoisted you up like you were nothing, and carried your half asleep body all the way up to your bedroom. 
The next thing you knew, you were buried under your favorite comforter and propped against a mountain of feathery pillows. A gentle forehead kiss and an incomprehensible sentence about calling off of work for you later, you were back in a deep sleep. 
So much for warm towels.
You were going to do better this time. That’s what you told yourself as you strolled through the grocery store, the same store that you hadn’t shopped in since moving in with Steve, as he preferred to do the shopping himself.
Equipped with a short paper list and sheer determination to make the trip as short and accurate as possible, you gathered all of the groceries that you believed were necessary— just enough to restock the fridge, and fill some gaps left in the cupboard. 
Your time at the store was indeed brief, as you found yourself in the checkout lane after just twenty minutes (you definitely weren’t going to brag about that to Steve later. Definitely not), and back home with just enough time to unload the groceries, and further prep yourself to go to work. 
You’d honestly forgotten about your trip to the store by the time that you arrived home, up until you found your boyfriend arm deep in your pantry, hellbent on finding… something.
“Can I help you?” you poked with a laugh, coming up beside Steve and peeking over his shoulder.
“I’m just… Did you happen to grab any protein bars while you were at the store?” he asked, pausing his search to look back at you.
“I don’t think so. Why? It’s not like you need any more protein,” you teased, squeezing a bicep to demonstrate your words.
“They’re pretty convenient when I’m out in the field. Don’t worry about it, though. I’ll just swing by the store and grab some before my mission tomorrow. Actually, I should probably go now. Y’know, before I forget,” Steve was already grabbing his car keys from the counter by the time his sentence was finished, leaving you to fight off your disappointment at your minor grocery store failure.
You looked at what you now knew was an insufficiently filled pantry and pinched the bridge of your nose. You had seriously underestimated the ins and outs of shopping for a super soldier. 
Well, third time’s the charm?
After this week, you would never complain about waking up early again. You were now up at an absolutely ungodly hour, scrambling eggs, flipping pancakes, and spreading jam on toast for a sleeping, unsuspecting Steve.
You placed the plate on a sturdy wooden tray, poured orange juice and an extra glass of water, and set a nicely folded napkin, along with utensils, next to the items.
You hoped that the scent of bacon wafting up to your bedroom would eventually pull him out of his slumber, and seeing how bacon was the only thing left to finish cooking, you took a little break. 
A round of Candy Crush turned into two, then three, and goddamnit, why can’t you beat this fourth level! You got so wrapped up in your mobile game that you didn’t even notice when the scent from your kitchen became slightly rancid, and when you rushed over to the oven to check on your now extremely burnt bacon, the smoke detector wailed.
You grabbed a kitchen towel and waved your arms like a madwoman near the smoke detector, the shrieking eventually stopping, but not before Steve was halfway down the stairs.
“Y/N, where are you? Is everything okay?” he nearly shouted, racing down the stairs and barreling through the smoky kitchen to find you. When he reached you, he wrapped his arms around your waist and began to pull you out of the kitchen. 
“Steve, relax. Everything is okay. Except those pieces of bacon,” you rubbed your now sweaty palms on your pajama pants before breaking away from him to crack open the kitchen window. 
“Christ, what happened? And why are you up so early?”
“I was trying to make you breakfast in bed,” you admitted, rather embarrassed by the dramatic scene you’d accidentally created. “Sorry,” you muttered.
Steve wrapped his arms around you once more, this time in a reassuring bear hug that left your cheeks pressed to his chest. “Don’t be. I really appreciate this, and everything else you’ve done this week. It’s the thought that counts, right?”
“I guess,” you mumbled into his shirt. 
“Besides, everything else looks delicious. And you tried your best for me while trying something new. I think that’s really sweet of you.”
“Really?” you pried, looking up at him.
“Really,” Steve confirmed.
“Well, I think it would be really sweet of you if you went back to bed and got all cozy so I can take care of you.”
Steve chuckled softly, pressed a little kiss to your nose, then nodded, “yes ma’am.”
Quality Time
Steve had been in a bubbly mood since getting back from his mission, and for no particular reason. It wasn’t like you weren’t happy that your partner was happy, but feeling like you were out of the loop was slightly concerning.
Before you could let your thoughts run too wild, you decided to pop the question during one of your evening walks. 
“Okay Steve, what is going on with you?” you asked, veering to the side of the trail when a biker rode past you. 
“Nothing big. Nothing too important. I’m just out of service for the next three months,” Steve said casually, playing it cool. 
“What?!” you paused, your brows raising and eyes widening in surprise as you searched his face for sincerity. “You’re serious?”
“Serious as a heart attack.”
“Steve!” you gasped happily, nearly roaring out his name in excitement. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“I was going to tell you before wining and dining you, but you beat me to it. So…?”
“…So I’m happy to have you back. I may need you to negotiate some time away from work for me in the next few months, then. I don’t wanna miss this preview of stay-at-home-dad-Steve.”
“Hey, don’t push it.”
“Oh, I’m planning on pushing it.” 
Epilogue
The sun was beating down on you, but the soothing breeze that flowed past your checked blanket every so often provided a pleasant antidote to the summer heat.
You’d truly picked the best day for a picnic.
Despite spending a good amount of time with your partner, the last month and a half had truly felt like a whirlwind. You casually started looking for a forever home, found yourselves making plans for an early retirement, and you had a new, sneaking suspicion that a proposal was on the horizon.
In the midst of it all, Steve had suggested that the two of you take a midday tryst at your local park and throw yourselves a little picnic. Of course you obliged, because when your greek god of a boyfriend suggests going on a spur of the moment date, you agree.
You now watched the nearly cloudless sky with pure, unadulterated feelings of content and joy while Steve set a slice of cheese on a cracker, leaning over your body to feed you. As you opened your mouth, Steve paused abruptly at the soft vibration coming from his pocket. 
Steve resumed as if nothing had changed, popping the cracker into your open mouth and letting his phone continue to ring.
“Don’t you wanna get that?” you questioned.
“It can wait,” Steve stated nonchalantly, slipping his phone out of his pocket and pressing decline with absolutely no hesitation before tossing the device to the edge of your blanket.
You didn’t realize how long you’d been waiting to hear those three words.
-------
a/n: this could’ve been solved in like 20 minutes by sitting down and taking a love language quiz together
367 notes · View notes
poptod · 3 years
Note
Hiya, can u do a ahkmenrah x reader request where the reader is ill and ahk is ofc panicking but trying his hardest to help you, thank u <33 n can it be at the museum
notes: thanks for requesting! ive done similar stuff so i decided to change it up a little, still follows the prompt tho. hope you like it!
warnings: cancer. WC: 1.3k
+
You hadn't spoken since the news. Voices of doctors and relatives faded out as your vision zeroed onto nothing, willing yourself into an abyss of silence. There were options, of course––they said something about chemical treatments, healing mushrooms to help you along, CBD oil and lotion to soothe the soon-to-come, overbearing pain. And, of course, the reminder that new treatments were coming out every day.
Archivers in museums didn't get paid much; that meant that, unfortunately, you couldn't really afford much more than basic, more dangerous treatments. A pit inside you whispered it was pointless, that death was closer than you thought. Still, you returned to your place of work in the evening, your feet dragging along the floor as you stared blankly forward, automatically unlocking and locking the door without thinking.
Moving like sludge through muscle memory.
You stood in the middle of the room, crowded by people––exhibits, at least––who didn't know your ailment, or the words of the doctor that still rung in your ears…
"Stage 4," he'd said, but you didn't hear the words surrounding that piece of information. Actually, the ongoings of yesterday were lost to you, absorbed by only a few words and blank stares.
"(Y/N)?"
The darkness on the edge of your eyes began to fade.
"(Y/N), are you alright?"
Ahk was standing in front of you, his hand on our shoulder as he attempted to meet your wandering eye.
"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm okay," you mumbled, unable to look at his face.
Despite your words, it was clear to anyone who saw you that you were not in fact alright, and Ahk frowned, wishing you would speak the truth.
"Let's go somewhere quieter," he suggested, and led you up the stairs to the marine exhibits.
Dark blue light rippled around you, the sound of bubbles and swishing water the only accompaniment to your quiet walk. Ahkmenrah stood as always at your side, matching your crawling pace, and pausing with you to stare at the massive tanks.
Still, you didn't speak, and Ahk was forced to coerce you into giving up whatever was bothering you.
"What happened?" He asked, standing in front of you to keep you from walking. You had your arms crossed, and your shoulders pulled up tightly.
"I went to the doctors," you said with clear discomfort.
Ahk nodded––you told him what a doctor was a few months ago by now.
"It's cancer," you said as you sucked in a sharp breath, nodding shakily. "I don't expect you to know what it is, but.. it isn't good."
"You'll be alright though, won't you?" He asked, his brow knotted tight. "You people have so many different medicines than we ever had access to."
"We don't have all the answers," you said softly.
"Then... what will you do?"
He stepped closer to you, sharing his warmth with your dull, ashen skin. But his question––despite its relevance––left you spinning, staring out past his shoulder as your expression fell into further disrepair.
"... nothing," you finally breathed out.
Answers and possible outcomes were swirling around your waking and sleeping consciousness for hours on end, without pause or rest. The price of treatment, the methods, and how you would continue to live after chemotherapy, if you even lived at all. You could kill yourself slowly in two different ways––by cancer and by chemotherapy, or you could die a more natural death with sickness like black ink stretching over your organs just as a spider weaves massive webs.
"Nothing??" He hissed. "You can't do nothing, have you lost your mind?!"
"I can't really afford the treatment, Ahk," you whispered, as tears who had been building for hours finally fell over flushed cheeks. "And if I do get it, I'm never going to be the same after. And that's if I live. Even if I get it, the doctor said it's not likely it'll help in time."
His hands pulled your face in, the bottom of his palms on your jaw and his fingers stretching out behind your neck to pull you in.
"I can't let you die," he said, his voice breaking.
You stared at him with weary eyes, dragged down by the dark circles beneath them. There was little else you could think to say to him, so you leant forward on shaky toes, and pecked his forehead in a kiss that was barely ever there.
"I'll think about it," you mumbled, and left.
For weeks you kept coming to work faithfully, only calling in sick when the chemotherapy side-effects left you bruised and exhausted. Your hair was already falling out, but Ahk insisted he didn't mind, and you believed him––in ancient Egypt, it was customary to shave your head for religions undertakings.
Each evening when you entered the museum, Ahk would come greet you and take you to the pillows and blankets he piled up in the marine exhibits, allowing you the comfort of soft light and whale calls while he prepared a tea for you. He wouldn't tell you what it was, but you could tell it was some sort of ground root you assumed was a healing tactic from ancient Egypt. While you were sipping at the warm concoction, he massaged the aching muscles, and applied an ointment Larry had gotten for his arthritis.
Sometimes he would tell you stories––only if you asked, of course, but you enjoyed the gentle rumble of the Pharaoh's voice, and the magic happenings within his tales. Rueful Gods and Goddesses littered the stories, within vivid imagery he piece together in your failing mind.
"Ahk," you murmured on one of those harder days that, for some reason (Ahk), you returned to the museum.
He stopped mid-story, turning expectantly to you. You raised your arms to him.
"Come here," you said, and he obeyed, gingerly sliding himself down next to you in the makeshift bed.
"Are you feeling alright?" He asked, his nose brushing yours.
"No," you chuckled with a weak smile.
You fell asleep within a minute, passing out in Ahkmenrah's embrace holding you tight to his chest. When your breathing settled into a slower in and out, tears welled in his eyes, falling upon your shared pillow as his shoulders began to shake. His thumb gently rubbed your cheek, relishing in little touches and gestures.
Memorizing. Just in case.
He took care of you, as much as he could within his own death, and continued to warm your tea, make sure you were eating, and comfort you with various medicines and stories. Curled up in the blanket nest, you did your best to smile whenever you met his eye.
And then one day, you didn't come to the museum. Ahk caught McPhee saying something to Larry; something about you, and something along the lines of 'they didn't call in sick'. Larry took a visibly deep breath, speaking in hushed tones Ahk couldn't hear from his distance.
You didn't come the next day, either, nor for the entirety of the week. In attempts to find answers Ahk grilled Larry for what had happened, but he didn't know, as you were an intensely private person who only gave their number to their employer.
But you never came again, and Ahk could feel himself slipping, the image of you in his head already blurry and unclear. He tried to remember your warmth, the softness of your skin, and your breath on his bare chest, and at times he could feel your weight still on him. It only made him yearn all the more, reaching and almost feeling something that no longer existed. Lain on his chest and too far to reach.
He learned that silence is an answer in the most hellish way possible.
148 notes · View notes
himitsu-luna · 3 years
Text
Headcanon
𔓘⭑ ࣪˖ Nct 127 as boyfriends ˖ ࣪⭑𔓘
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։ຼ⚘ Taeil
~ Key words: healing hugs, comfort, easy love
Taeil is the type of boyfriend that you feel like you know for a much longer time than you actually do, just because everything feels so natural and comfortable with him. To him, relationships are meant to be easy, fun, light, safe, unproblematic, so he works with you to achieve this scenario. He feels like home and he makes loving and being loved look simple. He loves the intimacy of domestic dates, they give him the sense of bonding and growing closer. Cooking, watching movies, just lazing around, sharing secrets and also laughs while wrapped around a cozy blanket are some of his favorite things to do with you. But he also loves being adventurous, going wild once in a while, looking for interesting things to do with you deep at night. He is the type of boyfriend that shyly approaches you to give you a tight hug he was craving the whole day; that sings for you whenever you ask him to do so; that does silly things just to see you laughing; that passionately researches how to cook something just because you mentioned you wanted to eat it; that gives you his hoodies because he thinks you're the cutest with them; that hypes you up like no one else does.
։ຼ⚘ Johnny
~ Key words: joyful smiles, romance, mature love
Do you know that perfect image of a boyfriend we build in our heads and fantasize about? That's Johnny. He might look all cool and detached, but he is the warmest and most caring person you could ever meet. When he gets into a relationship, he takes it very seriously. He does his best to be the best version of himself. He is patient, easy going, mature, and loves to have long conversations with you when you go to your weekly coffee date. He is the type of boyfriend that surprises you with romantic acts out of blue and acts like he did nothing; that carries you to bed when you're too tired; that remembers little and big things about you; that picks you up wherever you are and gets out of the car just to open the door for you; that rushes to buy you medicine when you're sick and that falls asleep beside your bed. He also has his mischivious side, which makes your dynamics even more interesting. He is the boyfriend that carries you on his shoulders at a concert; that hides behind a door to jump and scare you; that tickles you until you can't laugh anymore. He is the type of boyfriend that treats you like royalty and also like his best friend.
։ຼ⚘ Taeyong
~ Key words: day dreaming gazes, companionship, reassuring love
Taeyong as a boyfriend feels like a partner for life. You can't help but catching yourself imagining a whole married life with him, but little you know he is doing the exact same thing. He is the type of boyfriend that genuinely does his best to get involved in your life and to be part of it. He asks you about your day, about your dreams, about your plans, and listens to you attentively. Communicating with him is not a problem. Actually, he is usually the first one to send you a message, or to give you a call. Also, the amount of support you receive from him is enourmous, since he admires and believes in you unconditionaly. It's natural for him to say "we" instead of "I", because he considers you in every step he takes. He is the type of boyfriend that crafts little things for you; that makes you that cute lunch boxes with even cuter post-its on them; that has a notebook filled with lyrics he wrote about you; that smiles fondly everytime he hears your name; that don't fail one day on sending you a gooodnight message; that pulls you to dance in the middle of the kitchen.
։ຼ⚘ Yuta
~ Key words: undivided attention, loyalty, intense love
Yuta is someone who won't ever leave room for doubts or insecurities regarding the love he feels for you, regarding your relationship. He can't get tired of telling and showing you how important you are to him. He gives you a lot of attention and takes good care of you. It's impossible for him to be indifferent when you're around, he is too into you, he has eyes just for you. He expresses his emotions clearly and makes his moods obvious, so the relationship is super transparent. The excitement of the relationship seems to never cease. He is naturally original and interesting, and he doesn't even need to try hard to get you hooked. Yuta's love is intoxicating, inebriating. He is the type of boyfriend that does your nails, your hair and your make up, but says that you look amazing without all of it; that gives you his jacket and also embraces you to make sure you're not cold, even though he is freezing; that turns off his phone when you're spending time together; that jokingly (or not) acts protective towards you; that doodles hearts on your arm; that winks at you from afar.
։ຼ⚘ Doyoung
~ Key words: meaningful acts, care, one and only love
Doyoung's hobby is taking care of you. And yes, it's his hobby, because he doesn't see it as an obligation or a duty. He truly likes pampering you and making your life easier. He openly admits that you are his weakness, his soft spot, the only one who can make him lose his senses and not think straight. He either is all lovey-dovey or the nagging type of lover around you. He is invested, respectful, nurturing, solid, stable, constant, and won't let anyone talk bad about you. He is the type of boyfriend that keeps little things related to you, like notes you left him or a cute sticker you glued on his arm while joking around; that gives you the last piece of french fries he got; that drops everything and travels miles and miles to meet you because you said you were lonely; that unconciously does little things for you, like putting tooth paste onto your tooth brush and handing it to you; that always carries two umbrelas because he knows you often forget yours at home; that keep staring at you in awe, but denies it strongly when you catch him doing so.
։ຼ⚘ Jaehyun
~ Key words: intertwined fingers, sincerity, movie like love
Jaehyun is the type of boyfriend full of surprises. He makes you wonder what is going through his head, because it's quite difficult to read him. But he knows what he feels. As you get to know him better, you learn that he is the sweetest bean. For example, you get to know that when he looks distant or distracted around you, he is actually trying his best to hide from you some random cute romantic surprise he prepared. Even though he is not that good at expressing his emotions, he tries to put his love into words from time to time, and you just can feel it through the tender looks he gives you. He is chill and down to earth with most of things, but he daydreams a lot about you. He is also an interesting person with interesting thoughts, and sometimes you feel like your in a romantic comedy movie. He is the type of boyfriend that says "you're amazing" out of nowhere; that back hugs you whenever he sees the opportunity to do so; that gives you the best massages ever; that wants to hear stories from your childhood; that looks forward to your reaction when he tells you a joke or a story; that brags about you to his friends; that secretly takes personality tests and looks into astrology to see how compatible you two are: if he gets a positive answer, he goes "I knew it!", and if he gets a negative answer, he goes "I don't believe this anyways".
։ຼ⚘ Winwin
~ Key words: soft caresses, growing together, special love
Once Winwin falls in love, he wishes it's forever. He is always amazed by you and by how you changed his whole world and his whole vision of people, of the world, and of himself. He has a huge sense of honor and commitment towards you, so he does his best to be a good boyfriend. He does that quietly though, with little meaningful acts and shy words. He is usually pretty calm and composed, but sometimes he becomes a cute soft mess around you. When this happens, his reactions ranges from "malfunctioning and not knowing what to do at all" to "showing off his skills so you'll be impressed". He is the type of boyfriend that goes shopping to buy something for himself and ends up with twenty items for you ; that steals a kiss on your cheek while you're asleep; that says he is going to read your palm just to have an excuse to hold your hands; that, after twenty minutes watching a movie with you, side by side, murmurs "come here" and extends his arm so you can hug and cuddle him, all of that while avoiding eye contact (but at the end he is all smiley)
։ຼ⚘ Jungwoo
~ Key words: endless cuddles, connection, colorful love
Jungwoo is the type of boyfriend who just feels right. You look at him and wonder how you could end up with someone that matches your vibes so well. He accepts you and loves you exactly the way you are, for the way you are. He is not only sweeter than candy, he is also the funniest, the cutest, the most supportive, the most lovely, the most unique and interesting boyfriend ever. He feels intensily what you're feeling, so he can understand you well. He cries when you cry, he laughs when you laugh, he is by your side because he wants to be. He is the type of boyfriend that stays awake with you all night long when you need to finish an assignment so he can help you and so you won't feel lonely; that creates a whole new special sign language to communicate with you ; that fights for food with you just to give you everything at the end; that goes live on instagram just to scream "y/n, I love you" and then disconnects; that can't stop talking about you to everyone; that uses your picture as his cellphone background.
։ຼ⚘ Mark
~ Key words: sweet kisses, happiness, pure love
Mark is someone who wants to give you the whole world, and he works hard to do so. He is very intuitive and can tell what you're thinking with just one look. Being with him feels easy, recharging, and you see sincerity in all of his acts and words. There's no drama, no second intentions, he just genuinely wants to see you happy. He is the type of boyfriend that prays for you every night before sleeping; that may be clueless about a lot of things, but notices when you have the slightest change in your appearance; that takes melted candies out of his pockets and says they are a gift to you with the brightest and most innocent smile on his face; that creates raps about your awesomeness at random times; that gets too tired of giggling while cuddling you and then sleeps in your arms; that get inspired by some cheesy movie to do cheesy things with you but gets all shy about it afterwards, which makes everything even more adorable; that helps you drying your hair and gives you little pecks while the towel covers your eyes.
։ຼ⚘ Haechan
~ Key words: heart fluttering words, sharing, playful love
Haechan is someone who makes you feel special. He knows every single detail about you, and it seems that he understands you more than you do yourself, because he always knows what to say to make you feel better. He is affectionate, flirty, enjoys to make you blush, but often he is the one who blushes like crazy. He values the deep bond you share, and is proud of himself to have you by his side. He is the type of boyfriend that diligently prepares a midnight snack for you and draws a big heart with ketchup on your plate; that asks you what you are going to wear on your date with him, so he can wear something similar; that has a bracelet with your initial on it; that does skincare with you; that calls you at raining nights and stays with you on the phone for hours to distract you from the thunders you hate so much; that runs to you when he sees you; that plays rock paper scissors with you to decide who will get you two food, but actually it doesn't matter who wins, he will do everything for you at the end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
•° thanks @arieseris333 for the request! 💕
•° taglist - @starrdustville @mairah-shaikh @mairahshaikh @cupidluvstarrz @kpopsnowball @kaepopsicle @purplepsycho03 @najatheangel @dundun-baby
* If you want to be added to or removed from the taglist, just send me an ask or a message (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
•° Masterlist
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Text
Heart-Shaped Box💟9/End
Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), forced pregnancy, some violence, intimidation, some elements untagged for sake of plot.
This is dark!Bucky Barnes x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Sister Series: Get Your Fix
Summary: You accept a job as an au pair, but not all is as it seems.
Note: Finally finishing this one up. Sorry it took me ages but I’m doing my best to go back and wrap up whatever I can.
Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)
I really hope you enjoy. 💋
<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!
Masterlist
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Bucky pulled out of you as he held your head down, bouncing the bed beneath you as he pushed himself onto his back. You panted as your sweat dampened the sheet beneath you and he leaked between your thighs. You winced as you rolled onto your side and slowly sat up. 
He had you whining loud enough that you had no doubt your guests heard it all. It only seemed to encourage his partner-in-crime as you soon heard a similar scene on the other side of the wall. You were sickened by that noise and stood warily as you cupped your hand over your cunt and scooped up his cum before it could drip onto the floor.
“I told you to keep it down,” he snickered and sat up, his muscled back to you as he stretched his arms above him, “get the shower started, I’ll be in shortly. You girls have a lot of work to do today.”
You grumbled and dragged your feet to the attached bathroom. The low buzz of the pipes filled the silence and you stepped under the steamy water. The moment of calm broke sharply as Bucky appeared from the other side of the curtain and stepped in behind you. He had you clean him with a lathered loofah and you bore it only for the eventuality of time away from him.
The other woman meant you wouldn’t be trapped with just him. It was little help or hope but it was better than your former solitary torture.
You dressed in black dress with daisies and made yourself look like his perfect housewife. You couldn’t hold the smile and make him believe it all the way but he wouldn’t anyway. He flicked your chin and clicked his tongue.
“Mmm, you’re getting there,” he mused as he dropped his hand and reached around to slap your ass, “better go get breakfast on. I’ll check in on our guests.” He squeezed and winked, “be a good girl.”
Those words made your insides curdled but you swallowed your disgust and nodded, “yes, sir.”
He stepped out behind you and watched you go down the hall to the stairs and you heard him knock on the door as you descended. You went to the kitchen and pulled out the frying pan and the coconut oil. You lined up the ingredients for crepes on the counter and took two bananas from the yellow bunch. Your mother used to make the oversweet delicacy and you needed a reminder that you were still that girl.
You stopped as you searched for something to keep the crepes warm after you assembled them, a lid that could fit over the plate or something akin to it. The lower cupboards you rarely opened. Bucky left the cleaning supplies on the counter with your chore list every day and you never bothered to look for anything else.
You stopped and stared at the drain cleaner and the can of toxic oven spray. Well, that wouldn’t be subtle enough, would it? They’d smell either of those a mile away. Anything under the counter would be easily discovered but it did give you an idea.
You closed the wooden door and went back to your task. You heard the voices in the next room and the scrape of the chairs on the floor. Steve’s girl appeared in the doorway, rubbing her stomach as her face contorted.
“Smells sweet,” she said as you simmered the bananas with brown sugar, cinnamon, and a little butter, “almost too sweet.”
“Morning sickness?” you asked innocently.
“All the time sickness,” she sighed, “anything I can help with?”
“Do you know how to make crepes?” you asked as you whisked the batter.
“Not really,” she shrugged, “but I can learn.”
“It’s easy. Takes less than a minute,” you waved her over and tested the temperature of the pan with a flick of water, “so you wanna put just a little batter in…” you ladled in a careful dollop and lifted the pan, “you spread it like this,” you tilted it so the batter spread all around, “you just use the spatula a little on the edges to make sure they don’t stick and you flip.”
It was like second nature and she nodded quietly as she watched. The crepe cooked quickly and you threw it onto a plate and put the pan back to the burner.
“You think you can handle that?” you covered the plate with the lid of a pat to keep it warm. “Then we put some of the bananas and wrap them, bit of cream on top and some icing sugar…”
“You like to cook?” she wondered as she added batter to the hot pan.
“Not particularly, but my mother taught me,” you shrugged, “she can cook anything.”
“Oh,” she flipped the crepe and glanced at the door, “I suppose… it keeps him happy.”
“He’s never happy,” you murmured and cleared your throat, “so, you must be excited to move in!”
“I guess,” she slid the crepe onto the plate as you lifted the foggy lid, “you know how it is.”
You smiled and she tilted her head as she squinted at you. You went to the drawer where there was a box of blank recipe cards and continued speaking as you fished out a pencil from another.
“It’s always nice to get settled,” you said as you wrote, ‘they can hear us’.
“I suppose, nice to be in one place,” she replied stiffly as her features relaxed.
‘I have a plan,’ you wrote and raised your voice just slightly, “oh, you know, we didn’t even get you a housewarming gift. I’ll have to remind James.”
You went to the burner and held out the card under the coil until it caught. You threw it into the sink and watched it burn and curl. You ran water over it as it turned to ash and washed it away. You nudged the bowl towards her and leaned on the counter, “need help with that?”
“No,” she said as she started again, “I’m getting the hang of it.”
💟
You looked around the front room of the house next door. Steve’s girl opened one of the stacked boxes. For once, the men were gone and you could just enjoy their absence. 
Bucky agreed that a gift was in order and Steve had mentioned wanting to explore their new hometown. You tried not to seem eager but even the small walk across the lawns enlivened you. How long had it been since you’d been outside?
You started with the pictures. You left the frames in a stack as she assured you Steve would put the nails in and hang them. Then you moved onto the kitchenware and you kept her from lifting the heavy box of dishes. She seemed to forget about her condition and the reminder made her frown.
You stood behind the counter and set the dishes in the cupboards one at a time, the plates clacking one on top of each other. She watched from the other side as she arranged the silverware in the plastic tray.
“Can you do me a favour?” you asked as you kept on.
“What?” she asked as she dropped a butter knife with the rest.
“I know they’ve locked us in but can you check the garage door? Can we get in there?” you asked evenly.
“What?” she blinked and pushed herself straight, “even if we can, they won’t have been stupid enough--”
“That’s not what I’m worried about. I know we can’t get out that way either. It’s the same at our house. Everything is bolted up tight.” You assured her, “just go and check while I get these sorted.”
She left you and you snapped shut the door and finished with the utensils. You slid the tray into the drawer as she returned, rubbing her stomach.
“Yeah, we can get in but it’s mostly empty,” she said, “so…”
“Mostly empty?”
“Yeah, just the car--”
“The car,” you rounded the counter and curled two fingers for her to follow you.
You headed for the plain white door that led to the garage. You hopped down the steps as she remained at the top and watched you tentatively. You went to the car as she crossed her arms.
“He took the keys,” she said.
You tried the handle and the door opened. “I know,” you said as you put a knee in the front seat and peered into the back. Nothing. 
You felt around under the dash and found the lever for the trunk. You pulled it and it popped. You shut the door and went around the back of the car. You felt around the spare tire and your hand felt something plastic. You grabbed the handle of the half-filled jug and pulled it out.
“Hey,” you held up the bright blue anti-freeze, “do you wanna cook dinner here tonight? A housewarming dinner?”
Her brows knitted and she gave a long blink. Her lips parted then curved.
“You can’t mean--” she let out a scoff.
“It’s sweet. Hopefully they won’t notice if I add enough sugar to the cake,” you breathed, “we can’t let them settle. This is our chance.”
“I don’t-- I don’t know. What if it doesn’t work?”
“Then we’re still in the same boat,” you turned your free hand out, “that man has drugged me for months. I think it’s only fair that he gets a taste of his own medicine.”
She swallowed and looked down at her stomach. She inhaled and cradled her bump. “It can’t get worse than this, can it?”
💟
You spent the day unpacking, the distraction not much of one as you thought of the bottle you hid at the back of the cupboard. By the time the men returned, you were ready to move onto the second floor. 
Bucky offered a bottle of non-alcoholic wine and basket of expensive macarons as your gift to your new neighbours. He forced a kiss from you before he let you follow Steve’s girl upstairs.
You sat in the bedroom and heard the men ascend shortly after. You peeked in on them as you opened the linen closet to shove in the spare sheets. They were hammering together a crib. You knocked lightly on the doorframe as you watched them.
“Huh, what’s going on?” Bucky looked up from the directions.
“Um, we were just… thinking, we could have dinner here tonight? A little housewarmer? I could grab some ingredients from ours--”
“Give me a list, I’ll grab it,” Bucky puffed as he bent to help hold the rail in place for Steve, “that sound okay?”
“Fine by me,” Steve smiled, “it’ll be nice to have our feet on solid ground.”
You left them and returned to your only ally as she sat on the bed and stared at a packet of pills. She crushed it in her grasp and huffed. She flicked away tears with her knuckles. She tossed them over her shoulder.
“He kept them,” she snarled, “it’s like he’s mocking me.”
“What?” you neared her and sat carefully beside her.
“I never… I worked with him, you know? He brought me these drinks and I didn’t realise he was dosing them. The stuff, it made me itchy… it made me so hot and I just needed anything. I hopped on him I was so desperate and-- I told him to stay away. I realised what he’d done and I told him to leave me alone and you know what he did,” she crossed her arms over her stomach.
“No, I--” you touched her elbow.
“He broke into my apartment and replaced my pills. And he didn’t leave me alone,” she spat, “he did this all and he still has the goddamn pills like they’re some sort of trophy.”
She hung her head and grunted in frustration. You leaned against her and put your arm over her shoulders. She let you and the tension drained from her body.
“Even if we get out…” she whispered, “I’ll always have this piece of him.”
She pressed her palms to her stomach and you frowned. There was nothing you could do or say. You’d been lucky so far, even if it only fed your suffering. You didn’t have another life to worry about.
“We don’t have to if--”
“I want to,” she hissed lowly, “I want him dead.”
💟
Usually, you tasted the icing and licked the spoon. Not that night. The blue shade of the frosting was anything but suspicious as you spread it over the fluffy cake. It was a perfect disguise. You topped it with blueberries to add to the theme and dusted on a few coloured sprinkles. You stood back and admired your work as the smell of garlic filled the kitchen.
“I know it’s not much,” Steve’s girl said as she stirred the sauce, “but it’s what I can manage.”
“I’m sure it’s great,” you said as you took the meatballs of the burner and tested the spaghetti, “noodles are perfect.”
You strained the pasta and helped pour the meatballs into the sauce. You mixed it up and poured it into a large glass dish and the noodles into another. You brought them out to the table and called the men to dinner before you fetched the wine, both alcoholic and not.
Steve’s girl sat as you poured a glass for each of you and the men sat. You set the bottle down and nestled in next to Bucky as he served himself. When the plates were full, the other woman nudged Steve and whispered in his ear.
He cleared his throat and stood, “um, I know it’s just us but I guess I should say thank you for all the help and we’re excited to be neighbours… can’t wait for the kids to be running around these halls together.”
“Mmm,” Bucky lifted his glass, “hopefully…” he muttered doubtfully and looked at you, “that better be what she’s having,” he nodded to your glass.
You held it out for him to sniff and he gave you a sour look. He tutted and sat back to twirl noodles around his fork as he set aside his glass. You took a sip of the gutless wine and speared a meatball on your tines. You chewed and looked at Steve’s girl. She let Steve rub her thigh under the table and forced a smile.
She was playing it well and you felt as if you would fall apart. You felt as if Bucky would see right through you the minute you walked in with the cake. What would he do then? Steve couldn’t hurt his girl, she had the baby, but you, Bucky could replace you still. Maybe that was for the best but it didn’t mean you weren’t scared shitless.
You cleared the plates and retreated to the kitchen. Just you. You’d gone over it, you didn’t want them to catch on. You didn’t get too close with them around, you acted like strangers, you really were after all.
You sliced the cake into careful portions and came out with two plates at a time. You put them in front of each chair and sat. As you did, Steve’s girl covered her mouth and gagged. She pushed herself up unsteadily.
“Honey?” Steve asked as he rubbed her lower back.
“It’s the baby I--” she gulped sickeningly, “I gotta--”
She rushed out and Steve gave a look, “nausea. It’s been like this for weeks.”
“I’m going to make sure she’s okay,” you stood, “go ahead and start without us.”
You went down the hall and as you neared the bathroom, Steve’s girl opened the door and pulled you inside. She looked genuinely sick and you smelled vomit on her breath. She turned and rinsed her mouth and shuddered. 
“I didn’t actually feel sick until I got in here,” she wiped her face with the hand cloth, “when I realised--”
“Everything’s in the trunk,” you assured her, “once they’re out, we get the keys and go.”
“How do we know--”
“Retch,” you hissed, “we wait until we’re sure.”
She gave an exaggerated hurl and you heard the clink of porcelain and silver and the drone of voices. You listened through the door as she watched you in the tight space of the half-bath.
“I’m thinking about getting her an… exam,” Bucky’s deep tone carried, “maybe she can’t…”
You let out the breath you were holding and closed your eyes. Just a little longer. 
When you heard a sudden lull, your eyes rounded and you turned the handle and let yourself out into the hall. She crept close behind as you peered through the open archway. Both men had their faces on their plates in the crumbs of vanilla cake and smears of blue icing.
“Let’s go,” you went to Steve and shoved your hand into his pocket, “shit, they’re not here.”
“Here!” she pulled her hand from his jacket hung on the rack, “you think they’re dead?”
You looked from one to the other and shakily felt along Steve’s neck. “Still a pulse. I think maybe… they’re only knocked out.”
“The serum,” she shook her head, “means we have to go quick.”
You hurried after her and followed her down into the garage. She climbed into the driver’s seat and moved it back as her stomach pressed to the wheel. You got in the other side as your body trembled with adrenaline. She hit the button attached to the keys and the door slowly raised behind her.
As she reversed, you felt a sudden shock around your neck and yiped. You’d forgotten entirely about the necklace. She stopped suddenly and watched you writhe in agony.
“Shit, shit,” you leaned forward until the shock stopped, “the necklace.”
“Fuck,” she reached for it and you batted her away.
“No, you’ll get zapped,” you gasped as you pulled on it desperately. It was too tight to get past your chin but too strong to snap. 
She took the keys out and tossed them in your lap. You lifted them and twisted the necklace around the house key but there was no give. You sobbed and dropped your hand.
“I can’t,” you looked at the bent key, “you gotta go without me.”
“What? No, I can’t--”
“You have a baby,” you said as tears burned in your eyes and your throat tightened, “go, please.” You dropped the keys on the dash and opened the door. “I can’t--”
“No, you have to come with me,” she begged.
“No, you have to go before they wake up,” you got out as you grasped your neck, the searing pain still hot on your flesh, “I’ll… I’ll survive. I have this far.”
“N--”
“Shut up!” you slammed the door and hit the hood, “go!”
She stared at you and her lip quivered. She gave you one last sad look and grabbed the keys. She sniffed as she gripped the wheel and backed out down the drive. 
You fell to your knees and sat back on your ass as you watched her drive away. You shook your head and held it in your hands as you sat behind the invisible wall of your prison.
The tires screamed at the end of the street and the noise of the engine faded into the distance. You laid on your back across the concrete and covered your face with your arm. At least you could live with knowing you got her out. Well, you couldn’t really say you’d be living. You’d be alive but little more than that. 
But you’d survive knowing that you kept one person from that pitiful fate. Even if it wasn’t you. Even if you knew that you would pay for it in the end. Even when those men woke up and found you laying in the garage, the sweet flavour of antifreeze on their tongues as the bile of their anger overflowed and drowned you. 
You couldn’t do anything but wait. If you were lucky, they might just kill you and that in itself would be freedom.
💟 💟 💟
END
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viking-raider · 3 years
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Southern Generation - Part V
Summary: The morning after Lily and Sy’s night in the barn, the magic doesn’t last as long as they both hope, but neither does the darkness that falls over the farm.
Pairing: Syverson/OFC
Word Count: 8,274
Warnings: M - Language, Violence, Attempted Kidnapping, Blood, Protective!Sy, Mentions and Light Smut, Fluff, Angst, Flu/Cold, Soft!Sy, Trypanophobia
Inspiration: I always wanted to write a Sy story.
Author’s Note: Thank you to @wondersofdreaming​ for all the love and support.
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A harsh and wet sounding cough filled the bedroom, making Lily curl up on herself, shivering, and groaning as her body throbbed under the mound of blankets Sy had covered her up with, when her first round of coughs woke him, mid-morning.
“I'm here.” Sy called, coming into the room with a cup of steaming hot tea and a small saucer of dry toast for her. “Here.” He whispered, setting the cup and plate on the nightstand and fished Lily out of her blankets, then fluffed some pillows behind her back so she was comfortable, when she sat up.
“Thanks.” Lily replied, her voice weak and raspy.
“You're welcome.” He replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she nibbled on the toast. “Do you have any cold medicine?” He asked, going into the master bathroom, to open the medicine cabinet.
“I don't think so.” She answered, hoarsely.
Sy frowned into the open cabinet, drumming his fingers against the door and tapping his foot on the worn, black and white penny tile floor, trying to make a decision and calculation, before making up his mind and swung the cabinet door closed.
“All right, I'm gonna shoot over to store and pick up some cold medicine for you, maybe a bag of cough lozenges too. I know your throat must be killing you by how raspy your voice is.” He said, standing beside the bed and gently pressed his palm to her flushed and sweaty forehead. “Yeah.” He nodded, pressing his lips together.
“Do you need anything before I leave?” He asked, staring down at her, tenderly.
Shaking her head, Lily rubbed her goose-bumped and shivering arms. Frowning a bit more, Sy moved around to his side of the bed, nicking his hoodie off the back of a chair, and held it out to her with a gentle smile. Letting out a soft huff through her nose and smiling back, Lily took the black garment from him and slipped it on. Sy kissed the top of her head and went downstairs, grabbing his keys off the small table by the door in the entryway and left for the store, fifteen minutes away.
Lily nibbled on the last bland triangle of toast and was about to wash it down with the few remaining sips of her warm tea, when Aika started barking downstairs, making Lily sigh. It was a common occurrence, Aika loved lounging on the window seat in the living room and would go ballistic when she saw a squirrel, even more so, when the door was closed and she couldn't blow out of the screen door and chase after the poor, puff-tailed critter. She had told Sy, countless times, that he should just put a doggy door in either the front door or in both the front and the back doors for Aika, solving the issue of the German Shepherd barking and clawing at the door until it was opened for her.
But, even then, she would rush out onto the porch, scan for the squirrel, see it had disappeared and whine at her and Sy about it for the rest of the day, or until the next squirrel or chipmunk showed its plump face.
Throat far too sore and voice too weak, for Lily to yell out to Aika, she set her teacup aside and got out of bed, a strong shiver racing through her as her bare feet hit the cold floorboards. She had just made it out of her bedroom and into the hallway, when she heard distant whimper and Aika go eerily silent. Frowning, she slowly went down the stairs leading from the top floor into the kitchen, jumping in her skin and Sy's hoodie at a deafening slam that filled the otherwise quiet house.
The kitchen floor gently creaked under her feet as she slowly crossed it, to peek around the corner into the living room and entryway. Hugging herself against the wall, she didn't see anything. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but the feel in the air was anything, but ordinary. Aika was nowhere in sight, and Lily didn't hear a peep from her. She knew it wasn't Sy either. He couldn't be back from the store yet, even if he was, Sy was a mountain of a man, his footfalls were always heavy as he bumped around the house, and he would have called out to her, announcing he was back home.
None of that was happening in the dead silent house.
Her hands started to shake and she felt lightheaded, gripping the wall to keep herself steady, tears blurring her eyes, as nausea filled her stomach. She knew what this silence was, it was a silence she had feared for almost ten years, a fear she had been slowly learning to forget, but had started to build around her again.
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Lily climbed the two flights of stairs up to her and Jak's second floor apartment, lugging her heavy shoulder bag with her. She was returning from an early afternoon class, already tired and wishing she didn't have one more class later that afternoon as she slipped her key into the deadbolt and opened the door. She froze in the open door, taking a moment to figure out what was wrong. When she realized that the tv she had left on when she left that morning for her first class was off.
A cold shiver raced down her back with a shuddered breath as the apartment door slowly closed behind her. The apartment was silent without the tv going in the living room, which was never a good sign. Usually, when Lily returned from her early afternoon classes, the tv was still on the news or whatever channel she had left it on when she left that morning.
On the days the tv was off, when she got home?
“Where've you been, Bunny?” Jak's voice asked as he entered the living room, arms crossed over his chest and looking cross.
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“Hey there, Bunny.” A familiar voice chuckled behind her.
Lily yelped and spun around, pressing her back against the wall. “Jak.” She whimpered, looking up at him.
Jak was different from the last time she had seen him in Richmond, four years prior. He was still tall and lean, eight-ish centimeters shorter and nearly twenty kg lighter than Sy was. His ash blonde hair was pulled up into a bun and the sides of his head were shaved, his cheeks stubbly and his bottle-green eyes boring into her, like a power drill. The last time Lily had seen him, he had the traditional boy cut and his face was smooth, the camouflage of a good, church going boy.
But, there wasn't a trace of that boy now, that façade had broken away to the true monster residing inside the man, Jakson Abernathy, had turned into.
“I've missed you so much, Bunny.” He said soft, reaching out and gently brushed the knuckle of his forefinger against her flushed and feverish cheek, then brought it to his lips, licking off the tear he had collected.
Lily gulped, the agony of her sore throat forgotten in her panicked fright, facing him. “Please, Jak.” She pleaded with him, her voice a soft and raspy whine. “Just go. We don't have to do this. You don't have to do this.” She told him, hands twisting up in the pouch of Sy's hoodie.
“Move on.”
Jak snapped forward in a burst of rage, grabbing her by the throat and pinning her to the wall, the back of her head thumping against it with a hard smack. “Move on!” He roared, spittle flying from his lips and hitting her face. “Move on! I've been looking for your ungrateful ass for five years and the only thing you have to say to me is, move on.”
Lily's lips started to change color as the pressure of his hand around her throat increased, her arms shot out and gripped his arm, digging and scratching at his forearm and struggling against him, black and bright spots flashing in her eyes.
“I'll move on, when we get back home.” Jak told her, his thumb moving out to wipe across her lips.
“No, I'm n-not going w-with yo-u.” She choked, struggling to breath.
“Yes, you are.” He growled, nails breaking the skin of her neck. “You belong to me, since the day I met you, you've been mine. You think that fucking caveman loves you?” He taunted her. “You think him fucking your little cunt means he loves you, you're a fucking idiot. He's just fuckin' you for room and board, once he gets his fill and bored of you, he'll skip out.”
“But, me?” He brought his face closer to hers, their lips brushing. “I will always love you, Bunny. I will always come and find you, take you back home, where you belong. I'm the only one for you.”
Lily tried jerking her head sideways, away from his lips, but only earned a punch to the gut, knocking the teeny bit of air left in her body out.
“You always make shit so complicated.” Jak grunted, between gritted teeth. “Some things never change.” He berated her, shaking his head and about to strike her again, when the crackle and pop of tires on the driveway up to the house reached them.
“Fuck.” He hissed, hearing a car door slam, knowing Sy had returned from town.
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Sy searched the cold and flu aisle of the small Celina store, trying to figure out which one would be best for her. “Why do you need eighty products that do the same thing?” He mumbled to himself, looking between the liquid and the pill form of the medicines. “Liquid would be easier for her to swallow, though, with her sore throat.” He reasoned, finally picking a product, then grabbed a bag of cough lozenges, even stopping to grab a bottle of her favorite juice, before heading for the check out line.
He sighed, impatiently shifting foot to foot, as the long line slowly progressed. He glanced at the other two open cashier lines, but they were even longer than his, making him growl, wanting to get back home to Lily already, before he froze, realizing what he was feeling. Lily and her place had become home to him. A real home. More of a home to him than his apartment in Austin or the place where he grew up with his parents. He felt like he belonged there with her and Aika, as if the three of them had created their own little family on the rag-tag farm.
So, when he finally got through the line and paid for his items, he rushed back home to her.
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Quickly searching the kitchen, Jak grabbed a knife from the knife block on the kitchen counter beside them, then changed his hand from her throat to the back of her hair, turning her around and pressing her back against his chest. They stood in the kitchen, the tip of the knife pressed into Lily's throat, while they heard the screen door open and Sy's cautious footfalls step into the entryway.
“Lily?” Sy called out, his body tensing. “Aika!” He slowly set the grocery bag down on the floor, his nerve endings coming to life. “Hello?” He barked, his jaw tight, instinct telling him something was deeply off.
Jak pushed Lily forward, moving with her to stand in the entryway of the kitchen and living room, his and Sy's eyes meeting. Both men looked each other over, squaring each other off, trying to find their weaknesses and strengths, whether they could successfully take each other on; and win. Sy was purely confident he could take Jak out, but what he wasn't sure of, was if he could get to Jak before he hurt Lily with that knife he was gripping.
“So, you're him.” Sy said, his eyes hard and locked onto Jak, his blood was pumping and his hands were clenched into such tight fists, his knuckles were white.
“I am.”
Sy nodded, pressing his lips together. “If I were you, I'd let her go.”
“And if I were you, I would take yourself back out to your truck and leave this place.” Jak replied, motioning out the living room window to Sy's truck. “She's mine, caveman.”
Sy chuckled. “I don't think so, boy.” He grinned, taking a step forward.
“Ah!” Jak barked, taking a step back and pressing the tip of the knife harder into Lily's neck, a bead of blood trickled down and disappeared into the neck of Sy's hoodie. “Unless you want both of us to lose her, you'll back off.”
“I'm no-”
“Just listen to him, Sy.” Lily cried, gulping and whimpering.
“Lily.” Sy shook his head at her, trying to keep a handle on himself, for her safety.
“Please, Austin.” She begged him, a wash of tears streaming down her face and neck. “Please, just go.”
“I'm not leaving you with this prick.” Sy barked, not believing the words coming out of her mouth.
“You are, so just leave.” Lily told him. “I love him.” She sniffled, reaching back to grab Jak's shirt.
“Lily.” He barked, shocked.
“Don't worry about him, Bunny.” Jak cooed into her ear, but was grinning victoriously at Sy. “We're leaving here.” He said, slowly backing them into the kitchen and out the door.
Sy stood in the entryway breathing heavily and rocking on his heels as rage and confusion coursed through his body, but his breathing quicken and his mind became laser focused, causing him to snap into action. Going into a drawer in the living room, he pulled out the safety case the gun was in, opened it, and ran out the back door after them. Sy made it out the back door in time to see Jak dragging Lily towards an abandoned field to the right side of her property.
Running in that direction, he hopped over the porch rail to cut down time on reach them.
Making it a couple yards behind them, Sy could see where Jak had been hiding out while he'd been tormenting Lily. There was an old barn in the field from a bygone farm on the property beside Lily's. So, he slowed down, watching as Jak dragged Lily towards the decapitated barn by the wrist, the kitchen knife was in his other hand. Biting his lip, Sy stopped and pulled back the slide on the Taurus, taking very careful aim, he took several deep breaths, calming and slowing his breathing and heart rate, before squeezing the trigger. A loud pop rang out in the air and the bullet clipped Jak in the thigh, causing him to let go of Lily and the knife and drop to the ground.
Surprised, Lily looked back and saw Sy standing there, dropping the arm he was holding the weapon with and motioned to her with the other. Without hesitation, Lily broke out into a run, sprinting straight towards Sy, all but colliding with him and knocking them both to the ground. Sy hugged her, pressing his lips to her forehead, then pushed her behind him, as Jak struggled on the ground, cursing and swearing.
“You son of a whore!” Jak spat, rolling over, and pressing a hand to the seeping red patch on his jeans. “I'll fucking kill both of you!”
Sy's body, tight as a piano wire, suddenly relaxed and he took a step forward, but Lily clutched at his shirt. He looked back at her, giving her a reassuring expression, before approaching Jak, who continued to writhe in pain.
“Listen carefully.” Sy growled at him.
“No!” Jak roared, pointing a bloody finger at Sy, his face pale and angry. “You fuckin' listen! I'm going to make your lives hell! I'm going to fucking—whoa!!” He shrieked as Sy let off another round into the dirt beside him, getting his full attention.
“As I was saying.” Sy barked, his body stiff again. “Listen carefully.” He hissed, teeth gritted together. “I have a lot of friends in very high places, that if I kill you, they will help me erase your weaselly little fucking existence off the face of this god damned planet.” He told him, heatedly.
“She's mine. My girl.” He said, pointing back at Lily.
“So, if you're don't to get your ass out of this town, out of this state, and if you ever look for her again, let alone think about her, I will hunt you down and finish you off.” Sy told him, towering above the other man, and lowering his head to keep his eyes on Jak's.
“Do we understand each other?”
Jak gulped, looking up at Sy, like a tiny mouse cornered by a Cougar, then glanced around him to Lily, who stood watching the two men, terrified and exhausted, unconsciously wiping her runny nose on the cuff of Sy's hoodie, but her eyes were on Sy. It was in that moment that Jak realized that as fearful as Lily was, it wouldn't override her knowledge that Sy would protect her with his life, making his use of it to manipulate her, null and void. His grip on her was gone, he was nothing but a ghost, fading and being replaced.
His eyes shifted back to Sy. “Yeah.”
“Good.” Sy snapped. “Now, I don't care if you have to crawl, hop or limp, but I want you gone.”
Struggling for a moment, Jak managed to pull himself up, carefully balancing on his feet for a moment, before turning on his good leg, then limping and shuffling away from them, towards the dilapidated barn, where his car was hidden. Sy didn't move from his spot or relax, even as the 2013 Honda left the structure, tires kicking up dirt and dust as he tore down the neglected drive, blowing out of the gateless driveway onto the road with a loud screech. It was only when the car and its sound disappeared that Sy relaxed, flicking on the gun's safety with his thumb and pushed it into the waistband of his jeans, then turned towards Lily. Taking two steps to close the gap between them and collecting her in his arms, Sy scooped Lily up and head back towards their house, only stopping once they were back inside the living room and dropped onto the couch, with her in his lap.
Lily let out a weak breath into his chest, tears dripping down her face and arms locked around his neck. Sy pressed his cheek to her hair, his own chest tight with emotions, and squeezed his eyes shut, tears dripping from his dark lashes.
“Aika.” Lily whimpered, pulling back, wiping away her and Sy's tears.
“Oh shit.” Sy panted back, glancing side to side, alarmed, letting Lily get up and stood. “Aika!” He called out.
Both of them paused, listening quietly, then looked at each other, hearing pitiful whines and whimpers coming from the entryway. Having heard a door slam after Jak had entered the house and not seeing Aika, but clearly hearing her whines, Lily knew there could only be one place for the German Shepherd to be and rushed to the coat closet in the hallway, yanking the door open.
“Oh, good lord.” She gasped, finding the dog inside the closet, front and back paws were taped together, as was her muzzle. “My poor baby.” She cooed, dropping to her hands and knees, gingerly peeling the tape from around Aika's mouth.
“That fuck.” Sy barked, standing behind Lily, and seeing what Jak had done to his beloved Aika, hating him even more for hurting his girls. “Here.” He said, kneeling down beside Lily, and removing a small, folding knife that was clipped to his belt, then carefully cut the tape wrapped around Aika's legs.
Lily removed the tape from around her paws the best she could without causing Aika anymore discomfort and pain. “Oh, I know, such a sweet girl.” Lily murmured, as Aika got up, licking at her and Sy's faces, her shaggy tail beating against the walls of the closet. “I'll give you the entire container of treats, promise.”
Sy chuckled softly, gently petting Aika, relieved that both Lily and the German Shepherd were safe and sound again, and for the most part, unharmed. “Let me see your neck.” He said, cupping her chin between his fingers and turning her head to look at the nick and line of dry blood on her neck. “It's nothing too bad, but I should clean it up.” He told her, standing, then helped her up to her feet.
Grabbing the bag that had been discarded and forgotten on the entryway floor, Sy went upstairs with Lily, Aika close behind them. Setting the bag down on the bed and taking her into the bathroom, he easily moved about the small space. Sy had become familiar with the master bathroom in the few weeks he had started sleeping with Lily in her room, as she helped him combat his nightmares. He grabbed a bottle of antiseptic from the medicine cabinet and squeezed some of it on a fluffy, white cotton ball, then turned his careful attention onto her. Gently lifting her chin and dabbing at the cut, making Lily hiss and bite her lip, he gave her a sweet and sympathetic look, cleaning away the dry and flaky blood.
“There, all better.” He smiled, tossing the bloody cotton ball into the bin.
“Thank you.” Lily smiled, before subsiding into a coughing fit.
Sy snapped back into the reality before Jak rocked their usually peaceful life, recalling why he had left the house in the first place, going to grab the bag off the bed and brought it back to her, taking out the bottle of cold and flu medicine. Tearing the safety seal off, Sy poured the nasty looking green syrup into the clear, plastic measuring cup and held it out to her. Lily's face twisted with disgusted, shivering, but she took it from him and quickly downed it.
“Ew, that is so nasty.” She laughed, nervously, setting the cup down.
“As long as it works.” Sy replied, closing the bottle.
“I thought you were going to kill him.” Lily whispered as she sat down on the bed.
Sy stopped in the doorway of the bathroom, biting his lip and pushing his jaw forward, slowly nodding his head as he thought about it. He thought he was going to end up killing Jak too. He had thought a lot about what he would do if, and when, he met Jak in person, ever since he answered his call and Lily told him about their history, over a week ago. He had pictured beating him to a pulp, killing him and just giving him a good talking too; making a point that Lily was no longer his.
But, even Sy knew, you don't know how you'll react to a situation until it happens.
“I thought I would kill him too.” He admitted out loud, moving to sit down on the edge of the bed, beside her. “Part of me wanted too.” He added with a soft sigh.
“But, then he would have taken you from me.”
Sy reached out and took her hand in his, gently rubbing his thumb over her wrist. “My life would be an equal trade for your safety, Lily.”
“But, not for my happiness.” She countered, lifting a brow at him.
Their eyes met and Sy smiled at her, leaning forward to gently kiss her.
“Rest.” He whispered against her lips. “It's all over now.”
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Lily sighed softly, then chuckled, feeling Sy's heavy palm press down on her belly. “So vain.” She giggled, splaying her legs open and resting her ankles on his calves.
“Am I?” He chuckled back, feeling himself moving inside of her.
“You're always pressing your hand to my abdomen, when we have sex. Always enjoying the feel of that fat cock inside of me.” She told him, locking her dainty hand around his thick wrist as his hand stayed on her stomach. “I don't know who takes more pleasure in it, me or you.”
“Both of us.” Sy laughed, leaning over and gently kissed her.
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Sy wiped his sweaty forehead on the sleeve of his painting coveralls and took a step back, lowering the long handled paint roller into the roller pan, that was filled with moth gray paint that he and Lily had picked out to paint the house with, accented by slate blue shutters, dark stained porch support posts and a white door.
“It's looking good, Bear.” Lily said, stepping out onto the porch, carrying a glass of iced tea.
“Thanks, Angel.” Sy smiled, carefully setting the roller down and took the glass from her. “Hopefully, I'll be done soon, and I'll start putting up the roofing.” He told her, between sips. “Do you want to see it?” He asked her, setting the cool glass on the porch rail.
“Sure.” Lily nodded, pressing her lips together and gulping down a sudden nauseous ump in her throat, before following Sy around the other side of the house and off the porch, towards the barn, where the roofing material was stored.
Sy pushed open the barn door, smiling as it glided on its rollers, he had replaced and greased the track, so when the roofing material was delivered it would be easier for him and the delivery men to get in and out of the structure with the heavy boxes. Entering the barn, Sy opened one of the cardboard flaps to the roofing materials and showed Lily what was inside.
“I thought the black would accent well with all the other colors we have going with the house.” He started to explain to her.
“Is it metal?” She asked, reaching out and touching it, finding it cool under her fingertips.
“They are.” Sy nodded, smiling at her. “They last longer than asphalt shingles, you know, the shingles that normally go on houses. But, they're lighter than tile or slate. I also know you love the sound of the rain and hail on the barn's roof, and it's metal, so, I thought you'd enjoy it in the house too.” He told her, proud of his methods. “I'll insulate the roofing a bit. so it won't be so loud, when we get a really bad storm.”
Lily smiled, incredibly touched by Sy's thoughtfulness, as she often was. “Thank you.” She replied, moving over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him tight for a moment, until the strong smell of the paint on his coveralls hit her nose and went straight to her stomach. “Oh god.” She gasped, whining, and tore away from him.
Racing out the barn door and skidding around the corner, Lily doubled over and spilled her guts, puking and wrenching into the tall grass and weeds growing alongside the barn wall. Sy's hot hand pressed to the small of her back, concerned, as she continued to dry heave for several more moments.
“You all right?” He asked, rubbing her back and making sure her hair wasn't in her face.
“Yeah.” She nodded, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, and stood up. “I just think all the paint fumes are getting to me.”
Nodding and letting out a slow breath, Sy walked back into the house with her and brought the portable fan into the living room, hoping to reduce the strength of the paint smell in the room for her, seeing how pale she was.
“Are you going to be okay?” He asked, bringing her a glass of water.
“Yeah, I'll be fine, Bear.” She replied, slowly sipping the water.
“Okay.” Sy nodded, chewing on the corner of his lip. “I'm going to try and finish this side of the house by the end of the day. If you need anything, just call. All right?”
Lily smiled up at him. “All right, Sy.”
Smiling back at her, Sy kissed her temple and went back out onto the porch. Lily sat on the couch for a little while longer, pressing her hands to her face, tired and her stomach still acting up, the smell of paint wasn't as strong with the windows open and the fan blowing, but it was still lingering. So, she went upstairs to the master bedroom, where the air was clear. She dropped on the bed and picked up her phone, figuring the hormonal change from her upcoming period was causing her to be nauseous, and opened a period tracking app she used.
“Oh, fuck.” She gasped, seeing the date on the tracker, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, foot tapping with nervous and antsy energy. “Fuck it.” She snapped, jumping to her feet and went back downstairs, swiping her keys off their hook.
“Where's the fire?” Sy asked, as Lily breezed out the front door.
“I'm just going into town.” She replied, biting her lip.
“All right.” Sy answered, turning back to the section he was painting. “Wait.” He froze, just processing what she said to him. “What?” He squeaked, turning back towards her.
Lily's mouth worked for a moment, flustered. “I'm...going into town.” She repeated, slowly.
Sy set down the paint roller. “Do you want me to go with you?” He asked, eyes scanning her, he could tell something had her distressed, but couldn't put his paint covered finger on it.
“No.” She shook her head, and took a deep breath. “I know you want to finish this, and I think I can do it.” She told him, feeling a slow confidence wrap around her anxiety of going into town by herself for the first time since she came to Celina, nearly five years before.
“As long as you're sure.” Sy replied, regarding her, a soft light of pride in her glowing in his blue eyes.
“I am.” Lily nodded, smiling at him, even more fortified by his pride. “I'm no longer afraid of what's out there, like I used to be.”
“I'm proud of you, Angel.” Sy cooed, beaming at her.
“Thanks, Bear.” Lily blushed, shyly brushing her hair behind her ears.
“Hey, since you're heading out that way, could you get me another roller?” He asked, looking down at the one he had been using.
“Sure, do you need a specific kind?”
“Yeah, a roller with a three-fourths nap.”
“Three-fourths nap, noted.” Lily replied, committing it to memory. “Anything else?”
“Nope.” He shook his head, giving her a quick kiss, before she stepped off the porch and got into her usually unused car.
Lily let out a deep breath as she pulled off her property, her heart thundered in her chest as she approached the small town, nervous about why she was going out there to start with and what the residences would say when they saw her out and about on her own, she knew they would whisper and talk, especially when they saw the items she bought. Lily contemplated going over to the next town of Prosper to get the items, not wanting the gossip to be running rampant around Celina by morning, but shrugged it off.
“Let them talk.” She said, pulling into the parking lot. “It won't change anything.”
Going into the hardware store first, Lily got the paint roller Sy had asked her to get and dropped it in the car, before going into the grocery store for what she had gone out for.
“Hey, Ms. Lily!”
“Hey, Travis.” Lily smiled at the teen.
“You're out and about!” He grinned at her, abandoning his spot at the end of a cash register, where he was supposed to be helping bag groceries, to walk with her.
“I am.” She chuckled at him, biting her lip and blushing.
“Are you trying to overcome your fear or something?” He inquired, tilting his head at her.
“Something like that.” She replied, offering him a sweet smile.
“I'm glad.” Travis smiled back at her, really looking proud of her. “You really deserve to live life to the fullest.” He told her, with a sweet earnest.
“Thank you, Travis.” Lily chuckled, gently touching his arm.
“Marlowe!” A voice barked, startling them both into looking behind them. “Bags.” A heavy set man in a creased pair of slacks and white polo shirt snapped, pointing at the checkout stand Travis had walked away from.
“Sorry, Mr. Gillis.” Travis replied, sheepishly. “I was just giving Ms. Lily aisle directions. The Tylenol is on aisle seven.” He said, looking back at Lily.
“Thanks, Travis. You're a lifesaver.” Lily replied, going along with it.
Travis winked at her and went back to his job and Lily went on her way, weaving around until she found the aisle she was looking for, finding three different types of the product she was looking for and was unsure which would be the best to use. So, she grabbed one of each and started for check out, but back tracked and grabbed a bottle of Tylenol, before going to pay for her items. Thankfully, Travis wasn't upfront, when she got up there, causing her heart to slow down, greatly, in her chest. Even though, the cashier gave her a knowing glance as she rang Lily up, but Lily pretended to not see it, staring at the headline of a magazine beside the register.
Returning home, Lily crammed the three boxes into her bag, before getting out of the car, and Sy was still working on the porch. He turned his attention to her, smiling as she stepped up onto the porch with him, holding out the new roller brush to him.
“Thanks.” He said, taking it from her. “How'd it go?” He asked.
“It went really well.” Lily smiled, her anxiety level starting to go down again, but was still anxious. “I ran into Travis.” She chuckled.
“Oh, how did that go?” Sy laughed back.
“He got in trouble with his boss, but he's a good kid.” She smiled, jiggling her bag of Tylenol.
“Is that what you went for?” Sy asked, lifting a brow at the bag.
“More or less.”
“Hm.” He hummed, pressing his lips together. “Well, I'm glad you did it, I knew you could.”
“Thanks, Bear.” Lily smiled, pushing up on her toes and kissed him on the lips. “I'll get dinner started soon.”
“Good, I'm starved.” He replied against her mouth.
“Always and forever.” Lily teased him, giggling, then went inside.
With Sy still distracted with the porch, Lily went upstairs and closed herself inside the master bathroom, dumping the three boxes onto the sink counter and letting out a shaky breath, glancing at herself in the mirror.
“Here goes nothing.” She sighed, tearing open the boxes and read their instructions. “Seems easy enough.” She talked to herself, trying to keep her nerves under control, pausing when she heard whining outside the bathroom door. “Come on, quick.” She whispered, opening the door for Aika, then closed it behind her.
“You wanna take this for me?” Lily quipped, holding up one of the test sticks. “I didn't think so.” She huffed, when Aika just stared up at her. “It was worth the ask.” She babbled, nervously, before working up the nerve to take two of them.
She nervously paced the bathroom, chewing on her lip or on her fingernails, trying to figure out a way to tell Sy if either of them came out positive. If they didn't, it was easy not to tell him, there wouldn't be a need to, it was just her own silly paranoia. Maybe her tracker was just off, she was bad at remembering to update the thing after her periods ended and things had been crazy around that time, dealing with Jak. But, what if her tracker was right, what if she was really a week late. Ever since their first time in the barn during the storm, Lily and Sy enjoyed having sex with each other every chance they got, for God's sake, they had sex up against the kitchen table the night before, while they were supposed to be making dinner, only to end up burning it and having to call out of pizza instead.
There were so many moments in the last month that could have ended up with Lily being at this point, that it was nearly impossible to say which one it was.
The five minute timer on Lily's phone started to ring and she tapped it off, but still didn't have the courage to look at the two sticks balanced on the sink's edge. Pressing a hand over her eyes and stepping up to the counter, Lily counted to five under her breath, then yanked her hand away from her eyes, quickly looking down before her spur of the moment courage failed her again and felt her stomach drop.
“Oh fucking shit.” She snapped, despite the grin on her face.
Staring at the tests for a moment longer, Lily opened the bathroom door and walked down the hall, to the main staircase, that was closest to the front door, but froze. A chill of fright filling her, what if Sy wasn't happy about the results, what if he freaked out and left or worse.
“No.” Lily shook her head, pushing that fear down. “Not my Bear.” She said, gulping. “Austin.” She called down the stairs to him.
There was a quiet moment, before the screen door opened and slammed shut again.
“Yeah?” Sy called back up the stairs to her.
“I need you to come up here.” Lily replied, biting her lip and taking a calming breath.
Sy's heavy footsteps came up the stairs, then he appeared before her, brows lifted in question. “What's up, Sugar butt?”
Lily motioned down the hall with her head, then moved back into the bedroom. Sy smirked, his step picking up a bit, figuring she was in a mood, and was more than happy to oblige her. But, he frowned at her, when she stopped beside the bathroom door and pointed inside of it, her eyes meeting his. Blinking once at her, Sy stepped into the bathroom, figuring now, that something had broken and she needed him to fix it, but what he found wasn't anything that was broken.
Far from it.
Sy's eyes instantly found the two used pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter, one of them showing two noticeable blue lines and the other one with the clear word, pregnant, in their indication windows. His mouth fell open and his eyes grew wide with surprise and shock, his brain going blank for a moment, unable to compute anything more than those two positive tests, before looking at Lily.
“You're sure?”
“I took two for a reason.” She replied, stared back at him, just as wide eyed. “I have a third, but I didn't think there would be a need for it, if the first two were the same result.” She explained, licking her lips.
Sy turned on his heels and strode over Lily, who spooked slightly, taking a step back from him, unsure how he was reacting, despite trying to reassure herself he wouldn't be angry about it. But, Sy caught her up in his arms and picked her up clean off her feet, nearly crushing her in his thick arms and against his chest, spinning her in a circle and burying his face into her neck, smiling and laughing, overjoyed, beyond belief.
“So, you're not angry?” Lily asked, holding onto him.
“Are you kidding me?” Sy laughed, pulling back and looking her in the face, beaming with tears in his eyes. “How could I ever be angry?” He asked her, like it was the most absurd thing in the world. “I love you, Lily, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He said, setting her back down on her feet and brushed his fingers through her hair, tenderly.
“I, sure as hell, want to have kids with you.” He told her, sincerely, cupping her face in his hands.
“I do too.” She whispered back, overcome with relief and joy, and grasped his wrists.
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With the two pregnancy tests reading positive, Lily called the closest OBGYN in the area, which was twenty minutes away in the town of McKinney, and made an appointment with them for the earliest availability, which was three days later.
“I was thinking.” Sy said, drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel as he drove them to the appointment.
“Oh?” Lily replied, looking up from the ultra-soft, dove colored, yarn in her lap.
“I want to give up my apartment in Austin, and permanently stay out here with you and the baby.” He told her, glancing at her for a moment, smiling at the baby blanket she had started to crochet the night before.
“I already thought you were here permanently?” Lily chuckled, eyes sparkling at him. “Place in Austin or not.” She said, eyes turning back to her needlework.
Sy reached across the center console and gently took her hand in his. “You have no idea, how much you have made that farm a home for me. How much you've become home to me.”
Lily gripped his hand tighter, feeling the deep emotion of the moment. “I feel the same, Austin.” She whispered back, tears filling her eyes and spilling over, dripping onto the yarn. “So much, the same.”
They made it to the building Lily's new doctor worked out of and signed in for their appointment, filling out paperwork, while they waited for their turn to go back. Both of them were nervous and excited about the appointment, to find out more about the baby and what life would be like from here on out. Sy wanted to know what the gender was, but knew that wouldn’t happen for several more weeks, while Lily just hoped she wouldn't have any major complications during the pregnancy, her nausea was already starting to get more frequent, having been woken up early that morning to rush into the bathroom to throw up.
“Ms. Moore?” A nurse called out.
Lily and Sy stood up and the nurse showed them into the back, pausing for a moment to hold out a small urine sample cup to Lily.
“There's a bathroom two doors down, on the left, fill it to the line, and when you're done, leave it on the little counter in there, then I'll show you both to the exam room.” She explained to Lily.
“Okay.”
Lily nodded, a slight shake in her hand as she took the cup from her and went down to the bathroom, doing as she was told. It took Lily a moment to get going, her excitement and nerves taking up so much of her attention. She squeezed her eyes shut, taking a shaky breath, her mind flashing back and forth between every conceivable scenario between her, Sy and the baby. Her belly growing rounder than a ripe watermelon in summer, Sy finished up the house and working on a nursery, while she crocheted the blanket. The patter of feet in the house, the sound of laughs and barks in the yard as the baby and Aika played together.
But, also the fear of Sy suddenly deciding he didn't want a life with her and going back to Austin, leaving her to raise the baby on her own, or the absolute worst, losing the baby all together.
“Not going to happen.” She chanted under her breath. “He loves me.”
Taking several deep breaths, Lily managed to fill the cup to the line, secured the lid on it and set it down on the small shelf screwed into the wall across from the toilet, before washing her hands and going back out into the hall to join Sy and the nurse.
The nurse smiled at her and showed her and Sy into a sweet little exam room, where Lily took a seat on the table, letting the nurse take her vitals.
“The doctor will be right with you, Ms. Moore.”
“Thanks.” Lily smiled at her, legs gently swinging and hands clasped in her lap.
Sy stood in front of Lily, untangling her hands and held them in his, squeezing them as he felt them shake. “It'll be all right, Angel.” He cooed at her, pressing their hands to his chest and stood between her legs. “You're doing so good, my sweet thang.” He chuckled, starting to tease her a little bit, knowing it would lighten her mood.
Sy tried to cover his own worry and fear, wanting to look and be strong for Lily, knowing she was just as terrified as he was. He had wanted a family, a kid, for a long time, but not just a kid to have a kid for the sake of it, to have someone to carry on the bloodline and legacy. He wanted to have a kid with someone he loved, to have a life. To be someone more than Captain Austin Syverson of the U.S Army. To be, Austin Syverson, Father, Dad and husband, maybe even grandpa one day.
That had been Austin's dream.
And here was Lily, his beautiful, sweet Angel, who had saved him. He loved Lily with his entire soul, he would live for her and he would die for her, and now, she was carrying his daughter or son, proving him wrong, when he thought he couldn't love her anymore. Giving Sy one more thing on his bucket list. She gave him a purpose, she gave him a place to belong, and she gave him unconditional love and support. Lily made Sy feel wanted and complete. He couldn't think of anything more he wanted, but he had a feeling that Lily might give him more than what he expected.
“Snookums.” He laughed aloud.
“Oh god.” Lily laughed back, shaking her head at him, starting to feel better. “Watch yourself, Pooh Bear.” She teased him back, pressing her palms to his chest.
Sy rolled his eyes at her, leaning slightly forward and gently rubbed noses with her, with a soft knock on the room door and it opened, a short lady with smooth caramel skin and a white doctor's coat stepped into the room, smiling sweetly at both Lily and Sy.
“Hello.” She greeted them, extending her hand. “I'm Dr. Evers.”
“Hi.” Lily greeted her back and shook her hand. “Lily.” She smiled.
“Sy.” He replied, shaking her hand next.
“So, you're expecting?” Dr. Evers beamed at Lily, genuinely happy for them.
“Yeah.” Lily grinned, excited and shy. “I've been nauseous, which usually happens on my period.” She began to explain. “So, I was checking when my period was due to start, on a tracker I have on my phone, only to realize, I was nearly a week late.” She said, glancing over at Sy.
“I took two pregnancy tests and they both came back positive.”
“Great.” Evers nodded. “The urine test you took came back positive as well, but I'll also want to take a UPT test as well, to be extra sure.” She explained to Lily, just as the door opened again and the nurse came back in, pushing a small metal cart with two plastic tubes with rubber caps and a needle inside a sterile package.
Lily's hand instantly shot out for Sy's hand, eyes wild, gulping and paling slightly. Sy let her squeeze his hand as hard she wanted, while rubbing her back with his free hand, leaning in and pressing his lips to her temple. Lily, reluctantly, held her arm out to the nurse, who gently sterilized the inside bend of her elbow and took out the needle, that had a thin tube and cap-like object attached to it, that she slotted one of the test tubes into, before skillfully inserting the needle into Lily's arm.
“See, not so bad.” Sy smiled at Lily's soft hiss, watching her rich blood fill up the tube, and gently pet her hair. “Proud of you.” He added, softly.
The nurse filled both tubes, removed the needle and covered the injection site, smiling sweetly at Lily, then left the room with the blood samples.
“So, the test results will take two-= to three days to come in.” Evers explained to them, once the door closed. “The office will give you a call with the results. Until then, I want you to rest and take it easy. I'll prescribe you a prenatal vitamin and something for your nausea. Once we get your results and they’re positive, we'll set up another appointment and go from there.”
“Sounds great, Doc.” Sy grinned, giddy as a school-boy about being a dad.
“That it does.” Lily agreed, ecstatic as well.
-- Part VI --
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wolfstar-in-color · 3 years
Text
July Colorful Column: Remus is a Crip, and We Can Write Him Better.
There is one thing that can get me to close a fic so voraciously I don’t even make sure I’m not closing other essential tabs in the process. It doesn’t matter how much I’m loving the fic, how well written I think it is, or how desperately I want to know how it ends. Once I read this sentence, I am done.
It’s written in a variety of different ways, but it always goes something like this: “You don’t want me,” Remus said, “I am too sick/broken/poor/old/[insert chosen self-demeaning adjective here].”
You’re familiar with the trope. The trope is canonical. And if you’ve been around the wolfstar fandom for longer than a few minutes, you’ve read the trope. Maybe you love the trope! Maybe you’ve written the trope! Maybe you’re about to stop reading this column, because the trope rings true to you and you feel a little attacked!
Now, let’s get one thing out of the way right now: I am not saying the trope is wrong. I am not saying it’s bad. I am not saying we should stop writing it. We all have things we don’t like to see in our chosen fics. Maybe you can’t stand Leather Jacket Motorbike Sirius? Maybe you think Elbow Patch Remus is overdone? Or maybe your pet peeves are based in something a little deeper - maybe you think Poor Latino Remus is an irresponsible depiction, or that PWPs are too reductive? Whatever it is, we all have our things.
Let me tell you about my thing. When I first became very ill several years ago, there were various low points in which I felt I had become inherently unlovable. This is, more or less, a normal reaction. When your body stops doing things it used to be able to do - or starts doing things you were quite alright without, thank you very much - it changes the way you relate to your body. You don’t want to hear my whole disability history, so yada yada yada, most people eventually come to accept their limitations. It’s a very painful existence, one in which you constantly tell yourself your disability has transformed you into a burdensome, unworthy member of society, and if nothing else, it’s not terribly sustainable. Being disabled takes grit! It takes power! It takes a truly absurd amount of medical self-advocacy! Hating yourself? Thinking yourself unworthy of love? No one has time for that. 
Of course, I’m being hyperbolic. Plenty of disabled people struggle with these feelings many years into their disabilities, and never really get over them. But here’s the thing. We experience those stories ALL THE TIME. Remember Rain Man? Or Million Dollar Baby? Or that one with the actress from Game of Thrones and that British actor who seemed like he was going to have a promising career but then didn't? Those are all stories about sad, bitter disabled people and their sad, bitter lives, two out of three of which end in the character completing suicide because they simply couldn’t imagine having to live as a disabled person. (I mean, come on media, I get that we're less likely to enjoy a leisurely Saturday hike, but our parking is SUBLIME.) When was the last time you engaged with media that depicted a happy disabled person? A complex disabled person? A disabled person who has sex? No really, these aren’t hypothetical questions, can you please drop a rec in the notes?? Because I am desperate.
There are lots of problems with this trope, and they’ve been discussed ad nauseam by people with PhDs. I’m not actually interested in talking about how this trope leads to a more prevalent societal idea that disabled people are unworthy of love, or contributes to the kind of political thought processes that keep disabled people purposefully disenfranchised. I’m just a bitch on Tumblr, and I have a bone to pick: the thing I really hate about the trope? It’s boring. I’m bored. You know how, like, halfway through Grey’s Anatomy you realized they were just recycling the same plot points over and over again and there was just no WAY anyone working at a hospital prone to THAT MANY disasters would stay on staff? It's like that. I love a recycled trope as much as the next person (There Was Only One Bed, anyone?). But I need. Something. Else.
Remus is disabled. BOLD claim. WILD speculation. Except, not really. You simply - no matter how you flip it, slice it, puree it, or deconstruct it - cannot tell me Remus Lupin is not disabled. Most of us, by this point, are probably familiar with the way that One Canonical Author intended One Dashing Werewolf to be “a metaphor for those illnesses that carry stigma, like HIV and AIDS” [I’m sorry to link you to an outside source quoting She Who Must Not Be Named, but we’re professionals here]. Which is... a thing. It’s been discussed. And, listen, there’s no denying that this parallel is a problematic interpretation of people who have HIV/AIDS and all such similar “those illnesses” (though I’ll admit that I, too, am perennially apt to turn into a raging beast liable to harm anything that crosses my path, but that’s more linked to the at-least-once-monthly recollection that One Day At A Time got cancelled). Critiques aside, Remus Lupin is a character who - due to a condition that affects him physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually - is repeatedly marginalized, oppressed, denied political and social power, and ostracized due to unfounded fear that he is infectious to others. Does that sound familiar?
We’re not going to argue about whether or not “Remus is canonically disabled as fuck” is a fair reading. And the reason we’re not going to argue about whether or not it’s a fair reading is because I haven’t read canon in 10-plus years and you will win the argument. Canon is only marginally relevant here. The icon of this blog is brown, curly haired Remus Lupin kissing his trans boyfriend, Sirius Black. We are obviously not too terribly invested in canon. The wolfstar fandom is now a community with over 25,000 AO3 fics, entire careers launched from drawing or writing or cosplaying this non-canonical pairing. We love to play around here with storylines and universes and races and genders and sexualities and all kinds of things, but most of the time? Remus is still disabled. He’s disabled as a werewolf in canon-compliant works, he’s disabled in the AUs where he was injured or abused or kidnapped or harmed as a child, he’s disabled in the stories that read him as chronically ill or bipolar or traumatized or blind or Deaf. I’d go so far as to say that he is one of very few characters in the Wide Wonderful World of media who is, in as close to his essence as one can be, always disabled. And that means? Don’t shoot the messenger... but we could stand to be a tiny bit more responsible with how we portray him. 
Disabled people are complicated. As much as I’d like to pretend we are always level-headed, confident, and ready to assert our inherent worth, we are still just humans. We have bad days. We doubt our worth. We sometimes go out with guys who complain about our steroid-induced weight gain (it was a long time ago, Tumblr, okay??). But, we also have joy and fun and good days and sex and happiness and families and so many other things. 
Remus is a disabled character, and as such, it’s only fair that he’d have those unworthy moments. But - I propose - Remus is also a crip. What is a crip? A crip - like a queer - is someone who eschews the limited boundaries placed on their bodies, who rejects a hierarchy of oppression in favor of an intersectional analysis of lived experience, who isn’t interested in being the tragic figure responsible for helping people with dominant identities realize how good they have it. Crips interpret their disabilities however they want, rethinking bodies and medicine and pleasure and pain and even time itself. Crips are political, community-minded, and in search of liberation. 
Remus is a character who struggles with his disability, sure. But he’s also a character who leverages his physical condition to attempt to shift communities towards his political leanings, advocates for the rights of those who share his physical condition, and has super hot sex with his wrongfully convicted boyfriend ultimately goes on to build community and family. Having a condition that quite literally cripples you, over which you have no control, and through which you are often read as a social pariah? That’s disability. But using said condition as a means through which to build advocacy and community? Now that’s some crip shit. 
Personally, I love disabled!Remus Lupin. But I love crip!Remus Lupin even more. I’d love to see more of a Remus who owns his disability, who covets what makes him unique, and who never ever again tells a potential romantic partner they are too good for him because of his disability. This trope - unlike There Was Only One Bed! - sometimes actually hurts to read. Where’s Remus who thinks a potential romantic partner isn’t good enough for him? Where’s Remus who insists his partners learn more about his condition in order to treat him properly? Where’s sexy wheelchair user Remus? Where’s Remus who uses his werewolf transformations as an excuse to travel the world? Where’s crip Remus??
We don’t have to put “you don’t want me” Remus entirely to bed. It is but one of many repeated tropes that are - in the words of The Hot Priest from Fleabag - morally a bit dubious. And let’s face it - we don’t always come to fandom for its moral superiority (as much as we sometimes like to think we do). 
This is not a condemnation - it is an invitation. Able-bodied folks are all but an injury, illness, or couple decades away from being disabled. And when you get here, I sincerely hope you don’t waste your time on “you don’t want me”ing back and forth with the people you love. I’m inviting you to come to the crip side now. We have snacks, and without all the “you don’t want me” talk, we get to the juicy parts much faster. 
Colorfully,
Mod Theo
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doublekrecs · 4 years
Text
Going Live
Spencer Reid x Reader
Synopsis: You're an intern for the FBI but double as a camgirl in your spare time. You thought you kept things pretty well under wraps but who knew one of your mentors watched you all along. 
Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v action (remember to wrap it), face fucking, use of sex toys, tiny bit of degrading
a/n: writing this in the setting of season 10/11 because spencer looks so damn good and i wanted to include my girl tara
also part 2 of more than physics should be up later today! hope you enjoy -🧞‍♀️
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You had been a paid intern for the FBI for about a year, paid being said lightly. But the job was definitely worth it. While being under the wing of the BAU you had not only learned so much about your hopefully future profession, but you had made a family with the team. Especially under the wing of Tara Lewis, she had been there for a little while but you looked up to her work and she was more than happy to offer advice and a good wine night.
The team knew you had a second job on the side but weren’t exactly sure what it was, just that you worked from home. They respected your personal life enough to stay out of it, however that didn’t stop Rossi from offering you a little extra because “that's what uncles are supposed to do”. You would always wave him off and say you could handle yourself, because you could. 
You thoroughly enjoyed working. The money and gifts were obviously a big reward but there was always something so exciting about being on camera. Maybe it was how risque it was, being exposed for thousands to see. Or the fact that many were pleasuring themselves to the sight of you.
It was Friday night and you were getting your setup ready. You already had your outfit and glam on. Someone had sent you a set from your wishlist, lilac lace hugged your body in all the right places, accentuating all your assets and boosting your confidence. In your hair were the same color streaks you did with a tinting spray. You set the camera and laptop up in front of your bed. Silk sheets and plush pillows behind you where you could rest comfortably before your show started. 
Little did you know across town Spencer Reid was getting ready to tune in to said show. He was never one for tech, having Garcia still hand him paper files and would refuse to upgrade his phone. He had gotten a computer just so he could video chat with doctors quickly about new medicine for his mother. However he quickly found out there was so much more the internet had to offer.
_
He had stumbled across your show one lonely night. Spencer couldn’t see himself going out to find a one night stand so the pleasure of his hand it was. He was looking through videos when he saw the thumbnail with a girl wearing glasses similar to the ones you wear when you forget contacts. His curiosity got the best of him and if he was a cat he’d be one life down. He couldn’t believe the sight on the screen in his lap. 
There you were the bubbly intern, body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over you from the pink wand you held over your clit. He was delightfully flustered and the moans spilling from the computer’s speakers weren’t doing much to help.
He was entranced by you writhing in pleasure but was knocked back into reality after hearing you giggle. God he loved when you made that noise in the office, usually after fake flirting with Hotch or hearing about JJ’s boys. But this situation was totally different and if he was honest with himself he was very into it. 
You reached over to grab a large pink dildo. Taking it in your mouth before swiping it through your folds. It easily slipped in and you started rapidly pumping it into you chasing your orgasm. 
Spencer was too enthralled to even think about touching himself. He was using the gift which was his eidetic memory to the best of his ability to make this something he’d never forget. 
You came with a loud moan, hips lifting and grinding against the toy to chase the friction. Quickly you turned off the wand and took the toy out. You sat up and looked into the camera before sucking it off. Spencer's eyes widened as he let out a groan shifting on his bed. 
“Alright guys that was fun for tonight,” you said as you sat criss cross on the bed. “I didn’t think I’d be able to get to five.”
FIVE?? He thought in his head. He felt like he was gonna explode just watching those last few minutes. How was he supposed to last watching you make yourself cum five times. 
“Thank you so much for all the tips and support! My links are all in the description and I’ll see you angels next Friday! Muahh” you signed off blowing the camera a kiss. 
Spencer knew it was wrong of him to view a coworker in such an exposed light but he couldn’t help himself. So he spent the night viewing some of your old videos which brought him to what he swears to be the best orgasm of his life. Of course he sent gracious tips and made sure to buy little items off the wishlist, mentally noting to return every Friday night. Even if it meant hiding in the bathroom from Morgan in their shared hotel room on cases. That was two months ago. 
_
Just as you finished your session the phone rang signaling a case. Quickly you got in the shower and put on comfy business clothes since you usually stayed with Garcia doing extra research and taking notes. You quickly grabbed your bag and keys, making your way straight to the office. 
In the elevator you heard someone calling to keep it open. Spencer made his way in, buttoning his cardigan and adjusting his bag, quickly saying thank you. You pressed the button to the floor as you felt a pair of eyes on you. Looking over Spencer was eyeing you with a confused look on his face. You were about to question him when he spoke up first. 
“I thought you had streaks in your hair”
“I did… Earlier tonight but they washed out.” He looked even more confused, then his brain put two and two together. He just realized what he had said. For a genius this wasn’t one of his brightest moments. 
You looked at him amused as a deep blush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears. There was only one way someone would know about your quick hair change: by watching your show. The door to the elevator opened and you walked out giggling as he started sputtering apologies behind you. You quickly cut him off. 
“Spence, it's alright. If you want we can talk about this later because right now you have a bad guy to catch. But may I suggest making your name something less obvious, not that I don’t love ‘magiclover187’.” He stood there mouth gaping as you patted his shoulder and walked up to the conference room to meet the rest of the team. 
_
The case was one of the easier ones. Very minimal killing and the team was back by Tuesday morning, ready for a week of paperwork. Spencer had been dancing around you the whole time, he could barely keep eye contact with you and would rush to leave the room if you walked in. If he was this flushed around you with clothes on you could just imagine how much of a mess he would be when he watched you perform. Which brought an idea to your head. 
Friday rolled around and you walked over to his desk where he was nose deep in one of his Russian books. You put your hand in it to bring it down. Once he noticed it was you he was about to start with another ramble of apologies when you stopped him.
“Alright I’m tired of the awkwardness and I want my friend back,” you said with a soft smile. “Why don’t you come over tonight and we can have that talk. I’ll even order a pizza and we can watch Doctor Who.”
“Y/n are you sure? I-I mean it is um uh Friday.. And ya know you usually film,” he said as he played with his tie. 
You giggled at how nervous he was. Poor little genius didn’t know he was the only one with tricks up their sleeve. 
“It’s fine I promise. Just a night with my favorite customer,” you said winking at him. He choked and looked around to see if anyone was looking at his outburst.
“I’m kidding.. Sort of,” you trailed off. “But I mean it about you coming over. I’m going home now but I expect you there in an hour with drinks.”
With that you turned around and walked off, adding a little extra sway to your hips. Obviously that did the trick as you heard a small groan behind you. Spencer dropped his head back as he started wracking his brain to figure out how to live through the night without making a bigger fool of himself or cuming in his pants. 
_
You know maybe you were evil, you thought to yourself as you put on the finishing touches to your outfit for the night. Once you got home you sped into the shower to freshen up for him to come over and get your setup ready. You were wearing a cream colored strappy bodysuit. Over it was a large cardigan, almost resembling the maroon one he owned, strange. To top it off you were wearing your glasses and your legs were adorned with your favorite thigh high socks. 
The three knocks on the door instantly made a smirk appear on your face. This might just be one of your best schemes yet. Looking through the peephole you saw Spencer gnawing on his bottom lip holding a few bottles of soda. Taking a deep breath you opened the door greeting him with all the casualty in the world. 
“Hey! I’m glad you came, come in.”
He followed you in and tried to keep his eyes above your neck, trying to act like he wasn’t getting completely hard by just your outfit.  You sat down on your couch and patted it for him to sit next to you. He took the seat and gulped not really sure what you had planned. 
“Um how long for the pizza to get here?” 
“The pizza’s not coming Spence,” you said shaking your head. “But you are.”
You leaned forward to place your hand on his on the couch. “I want you to fuck me on camera Spencer,” you said with sweet confidence, fluttering your lashes. His eyes kept flashing between your cleavage showing through the cardigan and your lips before finally landing on your eyes. He didn’t see a single hint of humor in them, nothing transparent but lust. 
He pulled his hand from under yours to place in your hair, pulling you into a heated kiss. You pushed back on his chest a bit to try and get some air. 
“Save that magic for the show,” you said as you pulled him up to lead to your bedroom. 
The camera was set at a little bit of a lower angle. The audience would just be able to see you and at most Spencer’s chest. You had made sure it was fine and even turned it on as a test so he could see what he looked like. After you got everything out of the way you hit the button to go live and instantly people started flooding in. If the bulge in his pants told you anything, it was that he was excited to be on the other side of the screen this time. 
“Hello my angels!” you said into the camera, Spencer was taken back at what was going on. After months of lusting over the young intern he was finally seeing the show in person. 
“Today I have a special guest with me. My very good friend, the Doctor,” you took his hand to pull him into frame. “He’s very excited to be here,” you said, hand moving down to palm him through his pants. 
His hand reached out and wrapped around your throat, making you look up at him. Huh. This was a new Spencer you wouldn’t mind seeing more often.
“Let's not play games princess. Or else the only thing making you cum tonight are your pathetic little fingers. Am I clear?”
You shivered at the intensity of his voice instantly trying to nod the best you could within his grip. He let go and you went back to task at hand, undoing his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers. He was long and pink. Precum already spilling out of the pretty tip, you couldn’t wait to have him in your mouth, among other places. You wasted no time in licking a broad stripe along a vein under it. His hand went to grab a handful of your hair giving it a testing tug as a warning to stop teasing. 
Your hand went to grip what couldn’t fit in your mouth but you tried your best to take him all in. You could hear the pings of tips and comments being said. Spencer could too and leaned over slightly to read them. 
“Face fuck her,” he murmured. He pulled you off of his cock and looked down into your eyes, “Is that what you want princess? Hm.” His thumb went to clean up the spit dripping down your chin before rubbing your lips. “You want me to fuck your face?”, he said in a condescendingly sweet voice. 
“Yes Doctor please! Fuck my throat.” 
“Good girl.”
Both his hands made their place nested in your hair, guiding you to his cock. He wasted no time in being brutal. Tears were leaking down your cheeks as he kept on hitting the back of your throat. Spencer was enjoying himself to the fullest letting out curses and praises at how good your mouth felt. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer and you could feel it too as he started to throb in your mouth. He then pulled you off, a trail of spit connected from your lips and his cock. 
“Such a dirty whore for me. Show everyone how messy I make you,” he took your head and made you turn to look in the camera. Comments pinged talking about how pretty you looked with mascara running and smudged lipstick. 
“Thank them and ask if you deserve to cum on my cock,” Who knew Spencer had this in him. But you were loving every second of it and put on your best pair of puppy dog eyes to beg the camera for Spencer to split you in half. And you had no shame in doing so. 
“Please let the Doctor fuck me. I’ve been such a good girl for you guys,” you pleaded into the camera. The audience was pleased with your begging as they said you deserved it for being so good. 
Spencer took his time in unbuttoning the cardigan you had on, teasingly rubbing your arms as he slipped it off. His hands then went to the bodice of it, groping your breasts and teasing your nipples through the fabric. 
“Ah shit doctor, please fuck me already.”
Who was he to deny you of such a thing when you asked so nicely. He pushed you back down on the silk sheets. Pulling you by your thighs to the end of the bed where he moved the thong of the bodysuit to the side and slid his cock up your folds. Lubricating it in your juices before slipping right in. You both gasped at the intrusion, his hands grabbing your hips with a force sure to leave bruises. He used the leverage to set a brutal pace, ramming his cock into you. 
Your ears were ringing from the pleasure but you could hear the constant pings of your tip box and comment section flooding. 
“Shit baby you’re so tight. Perfect little pussy squeezing me so good.” You babled off thank yous and whimpers from being so close to your climax.
 You felt Spencer stop for a second and reach over to grab something. Then you felt it. Your wand set to the highest setting placed on your clit as he started to thrust into you again. Sounds of your moans and skin slapping together filled the room along with the buzzing of the vibrator. You were sure there was going to be a noise complaint notice on your door in the morning. 
You were so close to having the bubble in your stomach burst and so was he. 
“I'm gonna cum Doctor,” you practically yelled. “Please cum inside me!”
“Cmon princess. Let me feel you let go.”
With that the knot broke and you swore you died and went to heaven. Your walls squeezing Spencer led him to his end a little after you. Thrusts faltering and groaning at the feeling of pleasure washing over him. He turned off the wand and put it to the side before slipping out of you. 
Looking into the camera you gasped at your appearance. Hair disheveled and face messy from crying in pleasure multiple times that night. Your mixed release leaking down your thigh and onto the sheets. 
There were non stop pings of people calling Spencer a lucky bastard and asking for him to come back next Friday. Spencer nodded his head over to your bathroom to get you guys something to clean up with and let you do your closing. 
“Thanks for the love tonight angels,” you said with a smile on your face, entirely blissed out. “As always the links are in the description and I’ll see you guys next Friday. Maybe I’ll talk to the Doctor about future appearances. Bye!” 
With that you fell back on your bed and closed your eyes. Your body jolted at a sudden coldness between your thighs. 
“Right sorry,” Spencer whispered.
“So where did that come from?” you looked at him with an eyebrow raised. 
“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he stated seriously. 
You giggled and took his hand, “Thanks for doing this with me.”
“Of course. Now why don’t you shower while I get us a pizza. For real this time.”
“Or we can shower together then call the pizza.”
He contemplated it before smiling at you, “You always have the best ideas.” 
“Don’t I know it.. Doctor.”
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