#should sit down and start writing this fucking paper because it IS an exciting opportunity but that makes my brain shut down lmao
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little devil in my head is whispering me to play civ 6......... mustn't think
#this never ever ends well i end up spending 10+ hours a day on this game whenever i can. this is not ok#there is also a little bug shaped devil in my head at all times to replay HK#which i give in from time to time and play a couple of hours just to scratch the itch#but honestly before all that and my little baldur gay game i SHOULDVE finished totk lmao 😭😭😭#and had a new disco run but never even touched it after i got bg lmao#also gonna continue sdv w my sister next week bc she wants to see the new update#and obv i can nottttt turn down her request of actually spending time with me . rare occurrence 🥺#she couldve played on her own but she asked me. maybe she doesnt dislike me that much <3 that's nice#anyway what about all the other things that i should be doing? what other things? :D lol#disappointing myself in blender by taking too long to finish this simple project that was supposed to be a warm-up project ...#to be fair i didnt work on it last week after i started it bc of the exam#but still ://#should sit down and start writing this fucking paper because it IS an exciting opportunity but that makes my brain shut down lmao#also trying to ignore the uncertainty of my future so hard.#also should study german like literally i should make more effort on that ugh#ughhhhhhh i should do more!!!!!!!!! i should do so much more about everything !!!!!!!!!!!#🗒
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Heyy! Can you do one where Osamu, kuroo, akaashi and Tsukishima, say something mean to their s/o and their s/o avoids them for days? When they finally get ahold of their s/o, their s/o just sorta cries because it hit their insecure spot? Fluff in the end🥺
Listen, I can’t not write this.
Irrevocable Words.
- the one in which they accidentally make you give them the silent treatment because of their lashing out. -
~ Osamu Miya, Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji, and Tsukishima Kei~
TW: Cursing, angst to fluff, timeskip! for Osamu,
------------------
Osamu Miya
“Those are important files, ya know?”
“Samu, I’m sorry. You should’ve told me you needed last month’s earnings and I would’ve looked for them before we came this morning.” The hand you tried to settle onto Osamu’s bicep was shaken off as your movements faltered.
Your voice wobbled at the sight of your stoic fiance, an annoyed glint in his eye as he rummages through his files. Osamu felt a flare in his stomach, a lack of sleep contributing to his impatient state. The day had been a busy one, Osamu deciding that he needed this particular file for his business call tomorrow before the two of you headed home for the night.
“I told ya not to move anything back to the place.”
“I didn’t.” You bit the inside of your cheek. “Here, just let me help-”
“Don’t touch a goddamn thing, I’ll do it myself.” There it was. The lashing out that was bound to happen occurred with a pointed tongue as he refused to look at you, rummaging through his file cabinets. “As I do everything else.”
He closes the cabinet sharply. “The least ya could do is try your best not to be a nuisance-”
Osamu flinches at the slam of one of the office desk drawers, chest sinking when he sees the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. The paper he needed is thrown on the desk carelessly as you shove your jacket on, wetness slipping down your cheeks.
“And I’m not your goddamn secretary. I’m heading home first.”
“Y/N-”
“And don’t worry, I promise I’ll manage to do this by myself somehow.” Your voice cracks bitterly, the bell by the door jingling mockingly in Osamu’s ears as you exit, the chef hanging his head with a sigh and regret tinging his chest.
He was wrong to pray this would blow over, not expecting to wake without your warmth by his side. You avoided him on the way to the restaurant, cleaning quietly while giving vague answers to his questions, shifting out of his attempts to embrace you with apologies.
Deciding to give you space, he softly tells you to take the next few days off, unprepared for the tired look you had given him, simply nodding in response as you slipped into your side of the bed with your back turned to him.
“Where’s your pretty girlfriend?”
“Fiance.” Osamu forces a smile at his two elderly regulars two days later, the wife’s smile widening at his correction.
“Oho! Cherish each other while you youths still can, she really does brighten this place up, doesn’t she?”
You do.
Osamu’s eyes feel hot as he does a messy job of cleaning up the restaurant, closing up shop early and stopping by your favorite bakery to pick up the ridiculously expensive cake he only ever buys for your birthday.
Throwing the door open to your shared apartment hastily, you gasp at the gray-haired man’s sudden entry, dropping the spoon you were about to use to taste the dish you were making on the stove.
“Samu, y-you’re home early-”
“What’s all this?” He tries to steady his breaths at the sight of a nicely prepared table, something you hardly ever got to share ever since the night shifts overtook your lives and caused a rift between the two of you.
You’re silent for a second, looking away from his warm stare as you shift under his gaze.
“...I miss you.” Dark eyes widen when you begin to hiccup over your words, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. “But I didn’t wanna be a nusciance-”
“Oh god, darlin’ no.” You’re pulled tightly into his chest as you cry, whole body shaking with tremors as Osamu’s inner turmoil merely increases.
If Osamu could go back in time and punch himself he would, unknowing of the torment he caused you over the past few days, thinking you just needed space.
“I want to marry ya Y/N, I’m so sorry.”
“I love you so much Samu.” You sniffle into his chest, causing him to smile softly, a hand sifting through your hair to hold you tighter to him.
“I brought cake.”
You laugh through the onslaught of tears.
“And I made dinner.”
“Then what are we waitin’ for?”
“Just hold me like this for awhile?”
“Y/N.” He kisses the top of your head, finally feeling at ease with your figure in his arms. Osamu whispers a confession he hardly shared with you, wanting those words in particular to be special as he bridged the gap between the two of you.
“I love ya so much more, don’t you go forgettin’ it.”
Kuroo Tetsurou
“I said I was sorry!”
“Is sorry supposed to just fix everything, Tetsurou?”
“Tetsurou? Are you seriously withholding me from my nickname privileges?”
You cross your arms at his attempt to make you laugh, thoroughly angry with the mess your boyfriend made of things as his smile fades at your peeved stare.
“Look, what was I supposed to do?”
“How about not leaving my parents waiting for you at the restaurant that you invited them to for another one of your spontaneous volleyball practices?”
“I texted you I had to cancel!”
“That was a half hour before we were supposed to meet, Kuroo! They were so excited to meet you they got there early. God, why can’t you ever take things seriously?”
“You’re right.” A bitter chuckle slips Kuroo’s lips as you falter at the sudden tone change, the volleyball gym seeming bigger than ever as his next sentence makes your lips tremble.
“Since I can’t ever take things seriously, then I must not need my serious girlfriend then, right?” Your eyes widen. “I can just find somebody else who won’t fucking hound me all the time.”
His cat-like eyes widen as the words slip his tongue, unintentionally coming out crueler than he intended. To make it worse, you simply stayed silent, your body physically backing down and away from him as you turned on your heel.
“Wait, I didn’t-”
“Do it then.” His chest just about shatters as your shoulders tremble, refusing to turn back around as your voice takes on an uncharasterically defeated tone. “I hope they make you fucking happy.”
Kuroo runs a hand through his raven hair frustratedly at the way you rushed out of the gym, throwing a stray ball so hard at the wall before his vision becomes skewed with heat.
He should have expected the next week to be utter hell. You left class before he could catch you by escaping to the bathroom with all your things, leaving school another way instead of the exit you always took together before he had to start club activities.
“Kenma, what are you doing?”
“You can’t come in here.”
“I’m missing class for this. Let me through.”
“She doesn’t want to see you.” Kenma shrugged, eyes on his handheld. “I told her I’d watch the door so you can’t surprise her during our breaktime.”
“I’m her boyfriend. And you’re not her guarddog.”
“No, I’m her friend.” Kenma’s eyes narrow at his childhood friend. “And last time I checked, you’re on the search for someone who isn’t her.”
“So she told you.”
“Dick move, by the way.”
Kuroo’s calls go straight to voicemail, his emotions affecting his playing with each passing day. He leaves little notes in your shoe locker to meet him, heart sinking more and more with every time you stood him up.
And it wasn’t until he saw you smiling again at a joke Yaku made that he truly felt like he was losing you.
“Go home.”
The sight wasn’t one you were expecting to see, Kuroo sitting on the steps to your house with his hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets, the dark bags under his eyes sparking worry within you.
“It’s probably better if my parents don’t see you-”
“I’m sorry.” His eyes seem to have lost a little of their glint, regret swimming in the tall boy’s pupils as your guard softens. “I’m so goddamn sorry I ran my mouth and said shit I didn’t even mean-”
“Tetsurou-”
“And I hurt you in the process. I hurt the one thing that matters to me the most, and I’m sitting here playing the creepy ex that stalks the girl he loves-”
“You love me?”
“Doesn’t matter, does it? You’re done with me, and I deserve it-”
He’s cut off with the sight of tears hitting the wood in front of him, lifting his head to see tears streaking down your cheeks. On instinct, he reaches out softly, rising to his feet to cup your cheek, astonished when you curl into his touch.
“I’m so fucking mad at you right now.”
“Noted.” Kuroo laughs somberly, a wave of emotion hitting him as you do something you hadn’t done in days.
You look him in the eye, tugging him closer by the sides of his jacket.
“But I love you too, you absolute idiot.”
Kuroo grins into the kiss you press onto his lips, heart lifting in weight as he pulls you closer.
“Does this mean we can go back to Tetsu?”
“I’m going back to ignoring you-”
“No.” Kuroo’s tone turns serious as he holds you a little tighter. “I can’t do that again.”
You smile as he presses a kiss to your temple lovingly.
“Being away from you was complete and utter hell, sweetheart.”
Akaashi Keiji
“Tell me how to make this right.”
“Right, Y/N.” Akaashi refused to meet your eyes as he loosens his school tie, not slowing his pace for you to catch up with as he throws the doors open to the volleyball club. The usually put-together setter had an angry glint in his eye that silenced his awaiting teammates. “Let’s just go back in time before you agreed to be his partner.”
“Hey hey, what’s going on you two?” Bokuto jogs up, his worried tone making your lips tremble even more at the sight of Akaashi’s turned back.
“I came to you as soon as he made a move! I didn’t let him-”
“There shouldn’t have been an opportunity for him to make a move in the first place.” Akaashi’s jaw clenched as you shuffle in place.
“I didn’t do anything wrong, you think I wanted him to try to kiss me?!” You fight the waver in your voice, standing your ground. “It was a project for class. I didn’t know his intentions-“
“I told you what his intentions were, but you never listen.” Akaashi turns hastily, startling you and causing you to stumble slightly backwards into Bokuto.
“Akaashi-“
“Stop defending her. She never listens to me, and then comes crying to me when it turns out I’m right.” Akaashi snips at his best friend, ignoring the silent stares from his quiet teammates. “Why can’t you get it through your head, Y/N? I’m not your goddamn babysitter-“
“You’re right.” You interrupt, fingernails biting into your palms as you choke back a sob. “You’re not, you’re my boyfriend. I just wanted to respect you by coming to you with something like this, but it turns out I’m just a hinderance.”
Akaashi falters for a second, blue eyes widening a fraction at the angry heat that fills your eyes as regret begins to bubble in his stomach at his harsh words.
“Y/N-“
“Give me some space, Keiji.” You say softly, patting Bokuto’s arm to let you through as your shoulders sink in a defeated manner. “I promise I won’t come crying to you about anything else.”
Your steps echo as you walk out of the gym, Konoha breaking the silence first when the door shuts behind you.
“Hate to say it, but that was well-deserved, man.”
Akaashi closes his eyes, head falling back towards the ceiling as he tries to steady his breathing, pretending like he wasn’t scared of you slipping through his fingers. He willed himself to not allow himself to chase after you, his anger directed towards you fading as he forces himself to respect your wishes.
It was obvious you were avoiding him. Akaashi had blinked when Bokuto had self-proclaimed that he needed you as his “study buddy” during breaks when you weren’t even in the same year as the owlish boy. It got worse when you seemed to panic when Akaashi willed you to talk to him, eyes refusing to meet his watery blue ones as you pushed him further away.
So he gave you your space, wilting with each passing day. It wasn’t until he accidentally bumped into you a week later, the setter turning hastily on his heel to walk in the opposite direction before a soft tug on the back of his school shirt wills him to stop.
“Keiji.” Your wobbly voice makes him turn back around immediately, a soft palm already cupping your cheek gently. “I’m s-”
“I’m sorry for being cruel.” The words are whispered against your forehead, Akaashi’s heartstrings tugging in the worst way possible. “I was angry at the situation, my love. And that sorry excuse you call a classmate. Please,”
His grip tightens just a little more as he feels wet warmth drip into the palm that was cupping your face.
“Forgive me.”
“I told you I wouldn’t come crying to you-”
“I want it all, Y/N.” Akaashi pulls back slightly, voice cracking slightly as blue stares intensely into your irises. “I want all of you. Tears included.”
You swat his chest playfully as Akaashi manages a soft smile, hand threaded through your hair as he presses you against his chest.
“Do you still need space?” He murmurs, and you smile at the sound of his hearbeat picking up as he awaited your answer fearfully.
“Nope. The exact opposite, please hold me?”
His embrace relaxes immediately, and your heart skips a beat at the sound of his relieved sigh, his slight nod making the weight lift off your chest.
“Good, now I can take care of your classmate-”
“Keiji-”
“Nope, my love.” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, Akaashi’s eyes swirling with devotion.
“No one gets to try anything with you so long as you’re safe with me.”
Tsukishima Kei
“So I’m the bad guy again.”
“Do you want the honest answer, Kei?” You exhaustedly run a hand through your hair as Tsukishima’s scowl deepens, his long legs easily catching up with you in stride as he tugs on your wrist as the rambunctious court gets further and further away.
“It’s not my fault you’re insecure.”
You flinch. “Well maybe you shouldn’t let the girls in the stands cling to you after your matches. They were all over you, Tsukki! And you didn’t seem to mind it one bit.”
“What?” Annoyance brims the blonde’s voice as he takes another step forward, clenching his jaw when he sees the quiver in your lip, distrust filling the atmosphere between the two of you.
“Afraid that they’re prettier or better than you’ll ever be?”
You feel as if the wind was knocked out of your lungs, breath catching in your throat at his insinuation. His guard slackens almost immediately, clicking his tongue before turning away, too proud to apologize for the words he regretted as soon as they slipped his tongue like venom.
“Yeah.” You laugh humorlessly, making brown eyes dart over to your expression immediately. “You’re 100% correct. I am afraid you’ll find someone better than me in all aspects. Because I love you, you absolute asshole. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
The silence that befalls the two of you in the deserted hall is broken when you flinch away when Tsukishima tries to take a step towards you.
“I didn’t-”
“You never mean to do anything, Kei.” You say in a hushed tone, turning your back on him in an attempt to shield the hot tears slipping down your cheeks. “But you somehow always manage to.”
The win for Karasuno didn’t mean much to the blonde that night, hoping that this would just go away and things would be back to normal. However, it was anything but. You didn’t look his way once in class, disappearing when it was over. Your voice trembled as you had avoided his seemingly stoic eyes through his frames, simply stating that you wished for some time away from him.
He was fine. Or at least pretending to be on the outside. In truth, he would never find better, because you were it for him, words that you would never catch slipping his mouth. So he put on a front, pretending that your absence had zero effect on him whatsoever. Pretending the brush of your body against him in the hall as you pass each other didn’t make the blonde want to cave.
It was the smile you shot at Hinata during one of your breaks that caused him to. The first glint in your eye in awhile, and it had been caused by him of all people, prompting the tall middle blocker to tug you by the forearm into the corridor.
“Tsukishima-”
“I hate this.”
You falter for a second, guard back up in a flash as your back touches the wall. “What did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything, and it’s pissing me off.”
“I don’t follow-”
“I was wrong.” His forehead touches your shoulder as you stiffen before relaxing against his familiar touch. “I don’t care how many times I have to apologize. You win, okay? I’m sorry.”
“This is a rather aggressive apology-”
“Y/N.” Tsukishima lifts his head so it’s level with your height, unprepared for the way tears brimmed your eyes at the proximity, your guard diminishing.
“What if you do find someone better one day, Tsukki?” Your voice cracks, inner fears trickling to the surface. “Do I need to prepare myself to lose you-?”
You gasp as Tsukishima’s jaw ticks before kissing you intensely, his hand touching your lower back to pull you closer.
“No. You don’t need to do something stupid like that.” His eyes were slightly glaring at you, a flush across both his cheeks. “Because there is no one better than you, okay?”
It was your turn for heat to flood your cheeks as your eyes widen a fraction, his breath tickling your ear as you stutter. “Kei-”
“I love you too. I said it, are you satisfied now?”
---------------------------------------------------------
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#haikyuu!!#haikyuu one shot#haikyuu anime#haikyuu angst#osamu miya#osamu scenario#osamu imagine#haikyuu osamu#tsukishima kei#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukishima x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu#haikyuu kuroo#Kuroo Tetsurou#kuroo tetsuro x reader#akaashi#haikyuu akaashi keiji#akaashi x reader#haikyuu akaashi#akaashi keiji#haikyuu oneshot#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x self insert
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if you feel comfortable with it, I’d love a prof Spence where reader is a student and goes to office hours to initiate ~smutty goodness~ but Spencer is reluctant at first bc his job but they flirt more and eventually sleep together
me n my professor kink when i saw this: 😏 anyway yes i am quite comfortable writing about this lol. i took some ✨creative liberties✨ with your request so i'm sorry if it isn't exactly what you wanted!
summary: reader is a student in Dr. Reid’s class, but she’s been something of a poor student-- office hours are the only solution.
relationship: Fem!Reader/Professor!Spencer
content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, fingering, rough sex, super brief hair-pulling, creampie, dirty talk, spanking, age gap, degradation-- he gets pretty dominant oops.
word count: 4.5k
masterlist
popping in a piece of gum, I make my way to the back of the hall. there are a few people here already, but it's a little early. I'm never early. in fact, I'm usually late; my other class is on the other side of campus, and getting here involves a lot of embarrassing speed-walking.
but here I am, five minutes ahead of schedule and actually in a decent seat. as I flip open my textbook and pull my laptop out of my bag to prepare to take notes, my gaze slides down to the corner of the room, where Dr. Reid is standing up with a pile of papers. he walks over to the girl in the front row, handing her the stack and gesturing for her to pass it along.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. he's a total luddite. the first day, Dr. Reid spent about ten minutes rambling about the importance of reading from a physical book rather than online sources-- which, although I definitely agree with, means a lot more lugging around folders and organizing all the readings he gives out. if he wasn't so hot, I would have switched into another course.
and I know it's wrong to be daydreaming about my professor slamming me into a wall while he discusses the intricacies of quantum theory. the complete cliché of it is embarrassing. but still, I just can't stop thinking about him: how his fingers would feel around my throat, the smooth wooden surface of his desk against my cheek as he bends me over and pulls my panties to the side--
"glad to see you've decided to join us, today, Ms. Y/L/N." Dr. Reid's voice startles me out of my thoughts. he's standing towards the front of the room while students file in. his hands are resting in his pockets with his eyebrows pleasantly raised.
"glad to see you've noticed." I retort, too irritated with his comment to care about being polite.
a couple people look at me. even though I'm generally not on time, he tends to just glance my way when I walk in and leaves it at that. I know he doesn't like it, although I personally don't care. I hate this course.
he seems visibly surprised by my response but doesn't reply, gaze lingering on mine before he turns to speak to a student trying to get his attention. I bite back a smile. fucking asshole.
as usual, Dr. Reid writes in his thin, messy lettering on the board while wandering around the front of the room. he's quite fidgety, even though his voice doesn't betray any sort of nervousness. it's like he's naturally overactive.
every word out of his mouth is enunciated, sometimes spoken faster when he gets particularly impassioned by the subject. he's interesting to look at, too. messy curls and a nice suit, stubble that straddles the line between refinement and ruggedness.
I type quickly, but it isn't fast enough and the strange illustrations he does on the board only complicate things. I try to write them down in my notebook, but my handwriting is jagged; sometimes it's hard to read. when a student raises her hand for a clarification, I take the opportunity to catch up.
my head jerks up as soon as I'm finished and he's looking at me while he speaks. even from so many feet away, the intensity strikes me. he's gesticulating and crossing the room. I hold eye contact.
I wonder if he dates often; a couple of the girls in my row always stare at him throughout the lectures. he seems to be completely unaware of the effect he has on people. sometimes I'll see him in the hallway and he has his nose buried in a book, or a to-go cup of coffee, or both. either way, there seems to be no more room in that head of his for romance.
which, naturally, makes me curious about how he looks when he's on the edge of orgasm. if that composure is replaced with a contorted pleasure. I want to break him.
it's like he can read my thoughts, because Dr. Reid averts his gaze. my stomach twists with a strange anticipation. he avoids looking my way for the rest of the time.
towards the end of class, I start to pack my things to go. I have three papers to write, and my utter lack of interest in this is making me eager to leave. I shove my textbook into my bag the second my professor starts to make closing remarks.
"don't forget that we have a midterm in two weeks!" he says in a slightly louder voice as people start to move around. "if you have any questions, my office hours are posted on the bulletin board outside."
at this, my eyebrows rise. I forgot about the midterm. I have a study calendar set up for all my subjects, but I've purposefully been putting this one off. I'm not super into math. and it doesn't help that most of my time is spent not listening. when I am, it doesn't make sense.
as I stand up and gather my stuff, I hear someone clearing their throat a couple feet away. my head turns to see Dr. Reid leaning against his desk.
"Ms. Y/L/N, can I see you for a second?"
my heart stutters in my chest. is this about my attitude? he's never asked to see me outside of lessons before.
I frown, making my way to him with a deliberate pace. the tension in the room builds as I watch the last of his students shuffle out of the room. my head turns from the door to him; my breath catches a little in my throat at the set of his jaw. part of me hopes I get yelled at.
"I'm concerned about your participation in this class." he says. his voice isn't cruel, but it is brutally honest— which is worse. participation? I feel my fist clench at my side. my professors don't usually say anything if you aren't doing things up to their expectations; if you aren't, then they give you a bad grade. simple as that.
"is this about me being late?" I ask. he lets out a sigh before answering. he sounds disappointed.
"you're constantly tardy, and when you hand in your homework, you barely seem to have put in the effort. it's messy."
"messy?" I start to get annoyed. I'm only doing this so that I can get my degree. it's a fucking requirement. even though I'm not the biggest fan of mathematics, I still do my best and hand in my assignments on time. plus, the latest I arrive is five minutes-- it's not like I'm stumbling in halfway through the lesson.
"you've never come to office hours to ask for help or explained your lateness, which I, as your professor, would have appreciated." he scolds. honestly, I don't know what to say. my eyes narrow.
"I have my studio class on the other side of campus." I explain. "I should have emailed about that and I'm sorry, but I'm also not being lax about my work."
he goes around to the other side of his desk and glances up at me while he organizes some loose documents to pack away. he looks way too good when he's exasperated: his hands tighten around the papers, his eyebrows come together in this cute way. his tie is a little crooked, too.
"are you struggling with the content?"
"sometimes, yeah. but I can handle reaching out for help if I need it." I reply. he's pissing me off with these questions. I can see from the expression on his face that he's surprised by my reaction.
"really?" he slides some books into his messenger bag. that was definitely sarcastic; I know it was. "because it doesn't really seem like you have."
"I like to find help on my own." I shoulder my bag and cross my arms over my chest. there's no way he's gonna talk to me like that and expect me to not respond in kind.
"I'm reserving a slot on Wednesday evening for you," he looks up and holds my gaze. hazel irises that dare me to challenge him further. "I want you in office hours so that we can figure out how you're gonna catch up before the midterm."
"fine." I turn on my heel and leave. I know I'm not supposed to talk to my professor like that, or even to behave with such apprehension. but something about him makes me angry in the kind of way that settles in my stomach. I hate that he's right. I'm not going to do well on that damn test if I don't get some help.
but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun with it.
when I rush into his office on Wednesday evening, the sun is just starting to set through his window. there's a pinkish glow that smooths over Dr. Reid's desk as he glances up at me. I had to run to get here.
"you're late." he nods to the clock on the wall. I roll my eyes.
"only one minute, though. I had another class."
he sighs and folds his hands on his desk. "how are you doing today, Ms. Y/L/N?" a strangely polite question for the look on his face. he's frustrated with me.
"I'm quite well, Dr. Reid." I smile brightly, slightly excited by the anger on his face, and sit at the chair in front of his desk.
"I didn't know you were interested in art." he says simply. I'm confused for a moment before I remember that I told him that the course before his is a studio lesson.
"I didn't know you cared."
"do you make a habit of that?" he quirks an eyebrow.
"of what?" my expression is saccharine.
"being rude to people who control your grades."
"unless you're considering being unethical in your practices and allowing your personal opinion of me to influence my grade, then no." I counter. he's silent for a moment, taking in my words like they've left a mark on him.
"well, you'd most likely fail if I asked you to leave my office hours right now. whose fault would that be?" he fidgets with his hands and leans forward just a bit, his voice dropping to a lower tone. I bite back a smile.
"you wouldn't."
"and why is that?" he baits.
"because you're not a shitty professor, Dr. Reid," I lean back in my chair and cross my legs. "as angry as you are, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you kicked me— a struggling student— out of here for giving you a little attitude."
"a little attitude?" he scoffs. "you've spent the whole semester completely ambivalent."
"not completely." I shrug.
"Y/N, you draw all over your tests and leave at least one problem half-finished every time. you obviously aren't learning." he chuckles mirthlessly. I concede this point; I like to doodle when I'm bored. and there's absolutely nothing more boring to me than numbers.
"okay," I sit up and rest my elbows on the edge of his desk, staring at him. "then teach me."
Dr. Reid holds my gaze for a long moment. we're suspended, it seems, as his lips part and he finds himself speechless. the way I said the words obviously has another layer to it-- he just has to decide whether or not to take the bait.
"what are you struggling with?" he clears his throat and sits up a bit straighter in his seat. that answers my question, I guess. I poke my tongue between my teeth gently, but then pull out my notebook and flip it to a page with some problems outlined on it.
"these." I toss the thing onto his side and he begins to run through the assignment. I watch him pick up a pen and start to explain the steps, slipping into his usual educational tone. his shoulders relax a little as he writes.
I can't see right from the angle I'm at, so I stand and come around onto his side. I hear him pause his speaking for a moment at my proximity, but he doesn't move away.
"does that make sense?" he asks me once he's finished running through the first problem. he basically did all the work. the professor's head turns to gauge my reaction to the explanation, but his eye line is right at the hem of my skirt-- which is already pretty short. for all his attempts to be subtle, he gulps and looks up at me.
"mostly." I brush a piece of hair behind my ear and pretend to scratch at a spot on my upper thigh, dragging the edge of my skirt with it until he can see the smooth skin beneath, practically begging for his touch. "can I ask you a question?"
"sure." he keeps his eyes almost too focused on mine. I try to hide the smile tugging at my lips. now or never, I guess.
"what's your policy on professor/student relationships?"
"my-- my what?" this time, he's audibly scattered when he turns to me. his eyes are wide, dark. even he can't hide his feelings.
"you know," I run my fingertips over the tweed shoulder of his jacket. I can sense the tension beneath his clothes. "like, your policy on fucking a student."
"I--" his cheeks turn pink. he's flustered, albeit not rejecting my touch. "I've never had to think about it before."
"hmm," I look off to the side as if considering this point. his chair is fully turned to face me now, and I'm standing in front of him, almost completely his for the taking. all he has to do is close the gap. "well, what are you thinking about it right now?"
"it's wrong." he stumbles over the words.
"why?"
"well, I mean, you're a student--"
"for a semester that's almost over." I cut him off. he opens and closes his mouth. I take a deep breath, toying with the hem of my skirt. "I know you've been looking at me during class."
"w-what?"
"you're pretty good at hiding it, but you call on me a lot and you get all messed up when I hold eye contact too long during lectures." I say.
he looks down and back up apologetically. he's just sitting there, lap wide open. so I do what any sane girl in my position would do: I climb into it, straddling him and resting my arms around his neck. he sucks in a breath.
"you pretend I'm such a pain," I lean down by his ear, my core drawing over his pants. he tenses as I speak. "but you like that I'm your little problem."
"Y/N..." he trails off, but his hips are bucking up into mine.
"see?" I look between our bodies at his movements, then at him. I smirk as I look into those lust-darkened eyes. after a moment of him not speaking, I straighten. "look, I'll leave you alone if it really bothers you--"
as I start to get off his lap, he grabs me and pulls me back down. the force hits my center at just the right angle and I let out a slight mewl. he hears the sound and before I can register the pleasure, he grabs my face and yanks me closer to kiss him.
god, he feels so good. I rock my hips against his while our lips pass over each other hungrily. so much tension built up over the past few months, so many thoughts I've had of him, now coming to fruition. it's amazing.
"not so 'wrong' now, is it?" I chuckle against his mouth.
"shut up." he orders. one moment of broken contact to slide my top over my head and throw it on the floor.
I sigh as he starts to kiss across my jaw and down my throat. "I like when you talk like that, Dr. Reid."
one hand grips my hips tighter and he releases a groan against my skin.
"is that why you're such a fucking brat in my class?" he bites my collarbone and I moan. "because you want me to put you in your place?"
"mhmm." I hum. his fingertips move under my skirt, sliding up my thighs and toying with the waistband of my panties. he teases me by grazing my slit over the fabric, inhaling sharply at the wet patch.
"sitting in the back of my room, fucking dripping..." he mumbles to himself as he starts to rub me.
"touch me." I breathe out, trying to gain the friction that I need.
"not if you're gonna be a brat." he removes his hand and I let out a frustrated noise as I try to find the pressure I need elsewhere by grinding down on him. he grunts at the way I pant into his mouth, trying to kiss him with every chance I get. his lips are so smooth and sweet against mine. there's something affectionate about it even in its ferocity.
"I'll be good." I practically beg.
"that's what I thought." he slides his tongue over his bottom lip as he watches me whimper on top of him.
"come on, Spencer..." I use the name for the first time and he grabs my face in his hand, squeezing my cheeks.
"not my name, sweetheart." he stares into my eyes expectantly and I smirk.
"you're fucked up, doctor."
"so are you."
after he says that, he lifts me off his lap and stands up, pushing between my shoulder blades until my face is pressed onto the desk. I let out a needy whine, wiggle my ass back in hopes of finding his crotch, but he's not willing to give me that, yet.
instead, he gently touches my skirt, flipping it up so that he can see my ass. immediately, he starts to knead it. my palms are pressed flat against the desk with anticipation, silently thankful that my panties are still on. I think I'd be dripping down my thighs if they weren't.
"are you gonna be more respectful?" his voice is low, one hand tracing over my back. I shake.
"mhmm."
"I won't spank you if you don't use your words, sweetheart."
"yes." I choke out, no longer wanting to give any sort of resistance. I had no idea there was this side of him, and I love it.
he loves it too, apparently, because his hand comes down sharply on my ass. I yelp at the contact and he runs his fingers over the point of impact, rubbing the flesh gently.
"too hard, baby?" he checks.
"harder." I beg. I can't see his face, but I can sense his smile as if it's my own. his palm hits me again, and I gasp.
"you like being punished?"
"yes." strangled and desperate.
he slips his finger beneath the fabric of my panties, collecting my essence and letting out a quiet moan when he feels me. I push my hips against his fingers, partly expecting him to remove all the pressure, but he doesn't bother waiting.
he slips his index inside and I gasp. starts to push in and out, his silence proving his arousal. I can practically feel his eyes on me. the pace increases a bit and he slides in his middle finger. I buck against the desk.
"oh fuck!" I cry out as he starts to go faster. he curls them against my walls and I arch my back.
"two fingers and you're already breaking?" Spencer chuckles as he moves inside me. he keeps one hand on my ass while he does it, starting to finger me at a ridiculous speed while I pant and moan and cry.
"I--" I gulp down air. "I need you in it."
he bends down by my ear, never breaking his rhythm. my legs are shaking from the force. "you need my cock?"
"yes," I feel myself closing in around him. "god, yes."
"you're lucky I wanna fuck you so bad." he mutters. I grin as I hear the clink of his belt coming undone, the sliding through the belt loops, the sound of him stripping down to nothing. I can feel my excitement on the inside of my thighs, spread around by his reckless fingers as he removes my panties and skirt.
he grinds himself against my pussy, coating himself in me, while he releases low, longing moans. I suck in a breath when the head pushes in, every inch pushing me open a little more. I don't have the ability to form words, so I bite my lip and grip onto the edge of the desk until my knuckles turn white.
his breath stops for a moment before he groans.
"so ready for me."
he's not even all the way in, and he has to pause to let me adjust. when he taps the inside of my thigh for me to part them more, I do it quickly and beg him to fill me up. I can barely take the pressure between my hips, but it burns in an inviting way.
"keep going." I direct him. he runs his hands over the curve of my waist and starts to thrust into me at a rate that leaves me panting. it's not too fast or slow, just impatient and needy. every sound that spills from his lips turns me on more.
"where'd the attitude go, huh?" he digs his hips into mine. his cock hits my cervix and I squeak against the wood, but he holds my back down. I don't even try to argue with him, too overcome with the pleasure that's coursing through my limbs. he starts to build up his speed. "don't have much to say when you're getting fucked?"
"Dr. Reid--" I moan.
he plows into me so hard, the desk shifts on the floor and he grabs my ass with both hands.
"take it, baby. fucking take it."
I get up on my elbows to look behind me, just to glimpse how he looks as he gets closer. his curls have fallen more in his face, and his shirt is gone. I want to touch him desperately, to feel the lovely skin of his torso and arms and everything else, but he keeps me down for the most part. all I get is the sight of his mouth open and his hips moving quickly against mine.
"look at me, there you go." he grabs my face and holds me there, our eyes locked. mine are welling at the sheer overwhelming pleasure inside, but his are dark and intense. they search mine for something I can only hope to offer.
"that feels so good, Dr. Reid." I pant. he bites his lip as he watches my mouth hanging open in lecherous shock.
"I bet it does," he explores my body. "coming in here, hoping I fuck you like you deserve. you're lucky I'm going easy on you."
"thank you." I whine.
"you might need some extra lessons, yeah?" he grunts out, moving into me with a bruising force.
"yes, please." I whisper. my voice is practically gone at this point, my mind entirely focused on the knot building in my stomach.
"what was that, baby?" he pulls my hair gently.
"yes— fuck— yes, please, Dr. Reid."
"what a beautiful girl." he smirks. I whimper when he runs his fingernails down my ribcage. I can feel it coming from the way he starts to move tumultuously, every thrust pushing harder and seeking more release. it's fervent, how he takes me and grips my hips like the force itself will push him over the edge.
"I'm so close..." I breathe out as I try for as much friction as I can.
"show me," he drops down so his stomach is flush to my back. "show me how you cum, Y/N."
the way he says my name-- husky and warm and full of lust-- causes me to snap. I cry out as he reaches around to clamp a hand around my mouth, climaxing and pulsing around his dick as I drop down against the surface again. I want him to finish inside, so I do my best to keep him here. and his thrusts are getting more staccato as he chases the sensation my walls create.
"can I fill you, angel?" he asks. he's breathing right by my ear, and the feeling is sending shivers down my spine. I love how his weight feels.
"yes." I moan and he slides his fingers into my mouth. I suck on them while he orgasms, jerking into my pussy and letting out unholy sounds of ecstasy. he says unintelligible things in the throes of his orgasm. pounds into me until I'm sure I won't be able to walk tomorrow.
"jesus christ, Y/N." he slows to a stop. when he pulls his cock out of me, the absence makes me whine. I miss his body already.
"oh my god." I clench my hands into fists as I try to catch my breath. I'm still bent over the desk as though I've been completely sapped of all my energy. I suppose I have. he doesn't touch me for a moment in the spirit of letting me recover from the small shudders still running over my skin.
"that was great." he says after we've both had time to fill our lungs. I push myself onto my elbows again.
"correct." I grin and straighten up more until I'm standing. he stares at me, at the cum now dripping down my legs, entranced.
"let me get you something to clean up." he snaps out of it a little. I can't stop looking at him, either, in love with the way he moves and the way he breathes after exerting himself on my body.
"come here." I bite my lip. for some reason, despite what we just did, this is scarier than everything else. he steps closer and I reach up, kiss him softly. part of me worries that he'll pull away and be terrified. maybe that he'll tell me that I've read too much into this.
he's much gentler than before. our first kiss was full of need and primal desire, but this is more affectionate. I remove myself from his embrace.
"okay, you can go now." I giggle. his fingertips linger on my waist and he smiles. I push his shoulder. "I literally have your cum all over me-- go."
"fine." he starts to put his clothes on.
"does this mean I get an A?" I joke. Spencer shakes his head.
"nice try. when we're done cleaning you up, we're gonna sit down and figure this out."
I let out a whine, and he kisses my cheek before looking me in the eyes. "it'll be fun. I promise."
"math is not fun."
"I can't believe I like a girl who doesn't enjoy such a beautiful subject." he rolls his eyes and I giggle. he's perfect.
#spencer reid#spencer reid one shot#dr. reid#criminal minds#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#professor reid
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August
WC: <4100
Mentions: Sexual innuendos, cursing, slut-shaming, Affairs/Adultery, Lying, Deceit
A/N: It’s an AU, basically where James and Lily don’t end up together, and the War ends before they graduate. Snape and Peter don’t become death eaters IG but that doesn’t really matter later on. Unedited, but it’s the last day of August so I gotta get it in NOW.
Pairings: James Potter x Reader, James Potter x Lily Evans, (future) Lily Evans x Reader
~~~
Y/N
*
Salt air
*
You and your boyfriend of two months are sitting on the shoreline of the shared beach near your houses. You’ve lived in the same neighbourhood for as long as you can remember, but never really noticed each other until your formative years. And the chemistry was undeniable, which is what led you to that precise moment.
“Hey, James… What do you think is going to happen when we go away for school?” you ask meekly.
Being a Beauxbaton student is as luxurious as it sounds. You never have to put up with brutish and grotesque boys in pissing contests, and while there may be catty classmates, there’s no fighting over boys. No heartbreak. No major drama.
That being said, that didn’t mean that none of you had boyfriends. You all had your fair share of suitors from Durmstrang or Hogwarts or some other school in the country. And yours was James Potter.
He is the epitome of a perfect boyfriend. He remembers small dates, like the exact day your cat died, and knows exactly what you need.
You don’t think you’ve loved anyone as much as you’ve loved him.
And that’s precisely why you’re so afraid to lose him.
You knew that the long distance between you would be difficult. What started as a summer fling quickly became something more, and James changed from a friend who could make you laugh your guts out to the boy that makes your heart sing.
He has his arms wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, and you know exactly what he’s thinking. The distance isn’t going to change my love for you.
But he doesn’t realize that it’ll change the amount he can express. And that’s going to be frustrating. You’ve only been together for a little while. So how would this even work?
“We just have to trust each other, darling. I love you, and you love me. That’s all that matters.”
“But James-”
“No buts,” he states stoically. “Nothing is going to change this. You just need to trust me, trust that this is going to work.”
James
*
And the rust on your door
*
He had told you exactly what he meant. That he loved you, and that you could trust him. He knew that he loved you, and that love had taken root in the deepest part of his heart. So when he opened the door to Sirius, Remus, and Peter’s room, since he would not be staying here this year, he not only felt excitement for the new year but sheer happiness at the fact that he had found someone who loved him as unconditionally as he loved her. He did feel some remorse that he wouldn’t be staying with his gaggle of mates though.
“Mate, what’s that grin on your face for? Haven’t gotten in any trouble without us, have you?”
Apparently, James’ inner monologue reflected on his face because all his friends were made aware of the grin on his face.
“No, I just…”
He’d managed to keep the relationship a secret from Sirius that summer because you didn’t want the already confusing relationship to be found out by the Wizarding World. For reporters to make it more convoluted and twisted than it actually was.
“I’m just glad to be back,” he says, deciding he needs to discuss with you if he could tell his friends about your relationship just yet.
*
I never needed anything more
*
When he saw Lily in classes the next day, a pang swam through his chest. He didn’t see her yesterday on the train. He wasn’t focusing on that. But now he was. He noticed that her red hair had been cut short to her shoulders and that she appeared much more confident. Her school blouse had the first two buttons popped, showing just the slightest bit of rosy cleavage.
No.
He had promised you that you could trust him, and you could. He knew you could. He was going to be the man that you deserved. Lily was in the past. Lily was a speed bump on his path to finding true love with you.
But why did the way he felt about Lily now feel as strongly as it did before?
And it didn’t help any when she waltzed up to his desk and straightened her arms right in front of his face, pushing out her chest, and making his lust and sexual drive soar. He was sure it was evident. That he’d broken out in a sweat, but he attempted to play it off as cool as an Autumn day.
“Hello James,” she greeted. “How was your summer?”
He gulped. In front of his eyes was a woman, the woman that he had wanted so desperately. He didn’t know her intentions, but he knew his thoughts. And if you could see his thoughts, could hear them… he knew you wouldn’t be pleased. He knew you’d realize that you’d been right in not trusting him. “Summer was fine, Lily-flower. And you? Hang around with Snivelly, any?”
“No, we haven’t talked since the end of last year. But I’m thinking that this is more room for opportunity, to make new friends, see the light, you know?” she grinned and it lit up his heart.
“So, I was talking to Remus, and he told me that I should give you a chance to be one of those new friends,” but the way she said friends implied something more. “And at first, I objected, and then I realized, I never really gave you much light in my eyes. Do you think you could change that, Jamesie?”
And fuck, if that didn’t make his heart race a little.
Lily
*
Whispers of "Are you sure?"
*
Lily and James were kissing passionately and furiously as they stumbled into her bedroom. Since becoming head girl, she had gotten her own dorm room. James had also gotten one, but Lily didn’t want to see how messy that room was.
She moved her hands from in between their two bodies and picked up her wand to cast several different nonverbal charms.
When she was done, she pushed James down onto the bed and began tearing off her clothes. And then his. When she was done and they were lying beside each other he muttered a final “are you sure?” to her, and she nodded. He kissed her with ferocious passion until the kiss became something more.
This happened again, again, again.
*
"Never have I ever before"
*
When James left Lily’s room for the fourth time that month, she pressed two fingers to her lips in reaction to his goodbye kiss.
“I’ve never felt this way about James. About anyone,” she thought.
He made her feel alive, he made her grin, he made her giggle, and he made her heart flutter when he was around her. Of course, she knew this when she approached him. She just didn’t think it would escalate to this level so soon.
She wants to shout to the world the way she feels about him, the way he makes her feel. How he can take her breath away and make her feel like the most important and most special girl on the planet.
Like she was made just and entirely for him, and that the same applied for him to her.
She couldn’t stop her wild dreams, the ones of vivid love and passion, the ones where he would kiss her, take her hand, and profess his love in grand displays. Where he’d fight for her and never leave her.
Fantasy and delusion never left her mind when it came to him.
*
Your back beneath the sun
*
He and she both lie underneath the sun, soaking up its rays, sharing its warmth, staring at the clouds trying to make out certain shapes.
It was a sunny December day, which was rare, so they were getting as much out of it as they could.
“James, we should study,” she lightly approached the devastating topic. “It’s not like I really want to, but what kind of example are we setting as head boy and girl?”
“Well, If we go back up to our dorms, nobody will know if we’re studying or doing something else,” he said with a wriggle of eyebrows.
“No, James!” she laughs, and he joins her. His pearly teeth both ensnaring her mind and rendering her unable to focus on anything but him.
“When’s the next Hogsmeade trip?” he asked casually while he laid back down with his head facing the sky.
“Most likely before the holidays.”
She saw his face contort when she mentioned the Christmas break.
“James, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, I’m just thinking about… the war.” His face was pale, and his face sour.
“I’m thinking of joining the order after I graduate, but it’s still scary, you know. I’m worried about my mum and dad.”
“Your parents are going to be fine, James,” she assured him, but she knew he would be fully relieved until the war was over and all death eaters were locked up.
*
Wishin' I could write my name on it
*
She was sitting with Remus in the library when he brought up James. Let the record show that he brought up James, not her.
“So, how is everything going with James?”
She sighed lightly. “It’s magic, Remus. Pun intended.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you feel that way, Lily. Really, he’s a good guy once you get past that facade he puts on. I knew you’d like him.”
“Yes,” she says faintly. Doubts flood her head about his own feelings.
“What’s wrong, Lily?”
Her eyes turn down to her paper before reaching up again to meet his. “It’s silly, but… sometimes I wonder if he truly feels the same. I mean, most people don’t harbour feelings for one person for this long. What if all along it was just lust, and he’ll cast me away now that he’s satisfied that urge.”
“Lily, I promise you, James has had eyes for no one but you for many years. I highly doubt that it was lust, James isn’t like that.”
“You know,” she smiled. “You’re right. I just wish this didn’t have to be kept so hush-hush. The amount of girls I see fawning over him is grotesque.”
“So then ask him,” he pushed.
She took that as a challenge. “Alright. I will!”
*
The next time Lily saw James, they immediately rolled into bed and did what lovers do. But after that is when she posed the question.
“James, would we- will we ever be able to make this public?” she asked in a stern voice.
She saw thoughts swimming in his head for a moment.
“Lily,” he rolled onto his side. “We- I… This needs to be a secret for now. I mean, we are waist-deep into this war, and with my plans to go into the order, I can’t risk anyone coming after you.”
His logic made sense to her, and the wizarding world would get too caught up with the son of a prestigious wizard family being with a muggle-born in the middle of all of this.
He was right, she just had to swallow her jealousy for now.
*
Will you call when you’re back at school
*
The next week, there was a Hogsmeade trip, and despite them staying near the Marauders, really, it was a date for James and Lily. Or at least that’s what it felt like. An unofficial date.
They bought each other gifts to open over the holidays, kissed discreetly under mistletoes, and held hands while walking through the village.
When they went to get butterbeer for the rest of the group, there was a long but comfortable silence for a while.
“So what are you doing for the holidays?”
“Just going back home, maybe making some treats with my mum,” he said casually. “What about you?”
“Same as you, I guess. I’ll miss you, though.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
She tapped her foot absentmindedly as they waited. “What if I came with you?”
“What?” Panic flooded his face. “No, you couldn’t come with me, I’m afraid. My house is an Order safe place. If a death eater found it, you could be in danger.”
“You’re in danger just being there.”
“And you’re in danger by just breathing, Lily! That would be a double danger. I’m not risking that.”
She cringed at her sudden need to be close to him. “Right, sorry. It was a silly idea. A mindless thought.”
His face softened when he saw her embarrassment. “I’d love to bring you home, Lily, but it’s not safe.” But by now she could tell that he was lying, there was something more.
*
I remember thinkin' I had you
*
On the train back from London going to Hogwarts, Lily sat with Marlene and Dorcas, she hadn't seen them quite as much as she would’ve wanted since the school year started, and now was the perfect opportunity.
Lily felt remorse and guilt for not telling her friends about such a crucial part of her life, her relationship with James Potter, and truly she wanted to, but what if they judged her? And Marlene has had a reputation for having a loudmouth. What if she said something and word got out?
They conversed in idle gossip before an interesting topic was brought up. One that left Lily infuriated, and ready to murder a smug bastard.
“Have you heard about Potter and that Beauxbaton girl?”
Her eyes raised in curiosity and scorn. “What Beauxbaton girl?”
Dorcas revealed as much as she knew about you to Lily, your name, family, status in the Wizarding World. By the time she was done, Lily was struck with disbelief.
“And you’re sure they were kissing?” she said in response to Marlene’s information about the article in the Daily Prophet with a picture of them kissing.
“Yes!” she exclaimed.
“I have the article right here,” Dorcas mentioned.
“Way to bury the lead.”
“Oh shush,” she said and handed Lily the newspaper out of her bag.
She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The man she had been with for the past four months was kissing another woman. With Tongue.
“Well, that’s fantastic for him,” she said sourly. “He must feel so proud to have gotten a pretty girlfriend after pining after me for so long. I wonder how long it’ll be before he tries pining after me again,”
“Who knows, maybe it is serious,” Dorcas proposed.
Lily growled. “I don’t think it’s that serious if he’s sleeping with another woman.”
Marlene’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean-”
“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” she said before exiting the cabin of the train and heading to find James Potter.
“So,” she said when she reached his compartment. “How long have you been seeing her?”
James looked shocked to see her. “Lily, I can explain.”
“Can you? Please explain then. Is this why I couldn’t come with you? Why you had to keep us a secret James? For Godric’s sake, how long have you been seeing her?”
He gulped. “Since the summer.” Even Sirius looked shocked.
“I lived in your house, and you didn’t tell me, mate?”
“Not the time,” Peter chastised.
“Are you serious James? You spouted all of that you love me bullshit when you were with someone else?” Her eyes radiated anger. It was like staring into the mouth of an actively-fire-breathing dragon. “Does she know about me?”
“No, she doesn’t,” he admitted.
Lily said one more sentence before stalking away. “Well, you better tell her, or I will.”
*
But I can see us lost in the memory
*
Lily had no intention of telling you anything. She didn’t even know you. How would she send an owl to a total stranger and tell them that their boyfriend has been cheating on them with herself?
Lily never set out to be a homewrecker. But she didn’t even know she was wrecking a home, to begin with.
This was James’ fault, and he was going to own up to it.
Besides, It deserved to come from him. Lily knew how she felt about being told that she was the other woman from some outside source, and she didn’t want to do that to anyone at all.
But not even the sting of betrayal could mask the ever-flowing sadness that emanated from Lily. She truly believed he was in love. And maybe he was. Just not with her. And that was okay, but she didn’t deserve what she was put through.
Still, that doesn’t stop the fact that she, herself, was in love with him, and how is she supposed to ever get over that betrayal.
*
August slipped away into a moment in time- 'Cause it was never mine
*
Within the next few months, Lily had fallen into a rut. Her grades began slipping, her mood and cheeriness faltered. Even though the Wizarding World War had recently been won, with death-eaters being locked away, that didn’t change her mood, because she wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, to begin with. Her friends noticed her down-in-the-dumps aura, and despite knowing the cause, and how it wasn’t their fault, they couldn’t help but want to help her, to fix her.
But no one could repair the damage that James Potter caused to Lily but Lily herself. And that started with making amends.
“I have to send a follow-up letter to that girl. So I’ll ask you. Have you told her yet?” She cornered James in the library because, despite Head Boy and Head Girl duties, they didn’t see each other much. After all, he was avoiding her as much as she was avoiding him.
He gulped, “I haven’t. Lily, I can’t tell her. It would kill her, she was so worried about the distance and when she saw me at Christmas break, she was so happy. I don’t want to ruin that.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you started an affair with me, James. An affair I didn’t agree to. I didn’t want to be anybody's mistress. And she deserves to know, and I am going to send her a letter. Today! So if you don’t tell her, she will find out from me. I’ve given you months.”
“Lily, don’t do this. Please. I can’t tell her over an owl. It has to be in person.”
She faltered. He was right. His heart may have been in the wrong place, but his head is in the right one. Doing that, telling you over an owl could have devastating consequences. It was a discussion that had to be had in person.
“Easter Break. That is your chance, James Potter. After that, If you don’t I will.”
She turned on her heel and was about to leave the library when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“Lily, you have to understand, I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “I have fancied you for so long, and when you finally reciprocated this year, I didn’t want to pass up that chance. I was wrong. You are so amazing, and I shouldn’t have done what I did, but please believe this. You deserve so much, and I couldn’t and could never give that to you, but when I did this, I never meant to hurt anyone. I didn’t think it would go this far.”
She scoffed. “Well, it did, James. You hurt me. You betrayed me, and you betrayed her. Neither of us deserved that, no matter what.”
*
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
*
Guilt twisted in her stomach every time she thought of you. Jealousy was surely a stage at first, everything about you had her enchanted, your hair, your eyes, your glowing skin. She was enthralled, and she could see why James was too.
And then she remembered his nights in her dorm, on her bed. Tossing and turning with her, his lips on her mouth, and she didn’t feel envy. She felt regret and culpability. If she had pressed James harder about whether his feelings really were the same as before, if he’d really wanted to do this, maybe he wouldn’t have done it.
And then she wouldn’t be in this position, and you wouldn’t be about to come crash-landing on impact with this heavy, and taboo truth.
But this wasn’t about her, Lily realized. This was about you. And how you were going to feel once James told you what happened when the train meets the station, and that is all Lily can think of as she sits on her bed, staring out of her window. When her owl knocks on the window to deliver her mail, the headline of the Daily Prophet is what catches her eye. “The Prodigal son in an affair with a Muggleborn witch!” It goes on and on about how a secret inside source heard an argument between the two of them in the Hogwarts library.
There is no doubt that you have seen this, and James didn’t get to tell you. Lily didn’t get to apologize to you. This just got a whole lot worse, and Lily didn’t know how she was going to deal with the sudden turn of events.
James is the villain here, she reminded herself. James is in the wrong, but she knew that she was still an unwitting accomplice. And her gut wrenched as she pondered on that very true fact.
*
August slipped away like a bottle of wine
*
Lily had to get away from the wizarding world, so although she didn’t plan on going home for the Easter holiday, she had to now.
She was being shamed for her insidious relationship with James, by certain people, mostly Snape and his friends, that bastard. Most everyone was supportive, they realized she had no idea about your relationship, but she was still worried about what you’d say to James, but more about what’d you’d say about her.
Had James told you that she didn’t know? That he lied to both of you. Would you be mad at her either way?
Shame pulsed through her body, and she couldn’t imagine what her mother would say when she told her if she ever did.
Though when she got home, her mother instantly noticed that something was wrong.
Knowing she couldn’t take her mothers knowing stares and hard gaze, she instantly confessed to everything that happened over the semester. Her mother didn’t judge her for having premarital sex as Lily thought she would, but rather comforted her daughter and reassured her. “If James is a half-decent person, he will tell her that you did nothing wrong, and she won’t be mad at you, Lily dear.”
Her mother's reassurance helped, but her rose bush of worry wouldn’t be clear of its thorns until she spoke with you.
*
'Cause you were never mine
*
When the break was over, and Lily was about to board the train station to the red engine that is the Hogwarts Express, someone was waiting for her at the door to the train.
“My train doesn’t arrive until later,” you say plainly. “I wanted to get here earlier though, to speak with you.”
Lily feels like she’s breaking out in hives under your eyes, and it’s not a good feeling.
“James told me about how you didn’t know about me, how you wanted him to tell me sooner, didn’t want me to find out from tabloids like you did.” You smiled at her.
“It really hurt me when I found out. I didn’t want you to feel that way, but you still deserved to know. I’m just sorry you found out like that anyway.”
“James already boarded the train, but I wanted to let you know we’re no longer together if you still wanted to be with him,” you said meekly.
Lily’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. “Godric, no! He’s a git.”
You laughed.
“I know we may not be able to be friends, but maybe it’ll be better if we work through all of this together, all three of us,” Lily proposed.
“Yes, individually, dually, all together, doesn’t matter, it needs to be resolved.”
Lily sighed a breath of relief. “Somehow, I feel lighter.”
“Me too.”
As Lily was about to board the train, you called out to her. “Lily!”
She whipped her head to face you. “We can be friends if you’d like, you know.”
That made Lily smile, and honestly, it made her heart bloom with a vague, but familiar feeling.
#James Potter x reader#James Potter x Lily evans#James Potter imagines#James Potter angst#Lily Evans angst#Mauraders angst#Lily evans fluff#Lily Evans x reader
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Hi!! I'm not the one who requested "prioritizing happiness" but I really loved it! Can I request part 2, time skip where they meet again and go back together because they couldn't stop loving each other🥺. Also, thank you so much, I'm in love with your account♥️♥️
omg!! i would love to write a part 2 for prioritizing happiness! :)
part one can be found here
warnings: slight angst
miyuki kazuya x reader
prioritizing happiness (pt. 2)
it’s been years since then.
it’s been years since you left that door, forever leaving the man you once called the love of your life, behind. yet it was the only thing that remained on the back of your mind every single day; you’ve graduated college, got an amazing job, yet when you’re reminded of the events that took place, your feelings came crashing back on you all over again. you’ve had your fair shares of relationships throughout the years, and even an engagement, but you couldn’t devote yourself to anyone when you were still thinking about miyuki.
and you won’t lie, you self indulge by watching the mlb just to see the pretty boy take his place as the best catcher. no matter what happened in the past, he was coolest when he was on the field, and those burning eyes is one of the things you loved most about him. which is why one of your coworkers offered you a ticket to the game this weekend— everyone knew how you kept up with the mlb (more than anyone ever did in your workplace) and you were in no position to deny.
“y/n! do you want this extra ticket to the game this weekend? i don’t really keep up with baseball, and i’m not sure who else i should give it to.” as much as you wanted to refuse out of embarrassment, you were quite intrigued into watching a game in person— not to say, but it also gave you an opportunity to see him again. it’s not like he’d notice you amongst the crowd of a thousand people, so watching it from afar wouldn’t hurt, right?
“i mean sure, if no one else wanted it.” your coworker handed the ticket to you, your eyes lightly shining at the piece of paper in your hands. your heart was beating so fast, too excited before the game even started. “thank you so much for this,” you said, bowing to them.
your coworker chuckled, “glad it didn’t go to waste! enjoy your time.”
soon enough, the weekend came by and you were standing in front of the entrance of koshien stadium where the game was being held. you were nervous, and you didn’t get as much sleep the night before due to the jitters. and out of paranoia of bumping into miyuki, you wore a cap, sunglasses, and a mask as a disguise. you facepalmed at yourself in your head, maybe i shouldn’t have came..
but it was too late for that as you were already ambling your way up the bleachers, taking a seat around the middle area. you had a couple snacks packed and a huge bottle of water as it was pretty hot today. left and right were hundreds of people, and you even saw a group of high schoolers with miyuki’s face on their shirts. you chuckled and turned to the centre where you saw the players go to their proper dugouts, and without even knowing, you were trying to look for a certain someone.
and there he was, putting on his gear and chatting with his teammates. he’s gotten a little more mature, his features a bit more prominent and his undercut shaved. you could hear the drums of your heart through your ears as you saw miyuki walk onto the field. all the people starting cheering on his appearance, and you couldn’t help but smile too under your mask. the announcer went in between the two teams and yelled, “bow! let the game begin!”
the day went by and soon the bright blue skies were replaced by the oranges of the sunset. the game was so close and so intense that you had to get up a couple times, but nevertheless miyuki’s team won.
you stayed behind, watching the people leave the stadium. you felt so nostalgic, reminiscing about the times you would watch miyuki’s games back in high school. you inhaled the air of the empty stadium, taking off your hat, sunglasses, and mask. the breeze was slightly chilly, but it felt nice as it went through the roots of your hair. you closed your eyes, focusing onto that sentiment of the old days. “ah, to go back..” you said into the winds, letting the weather relax your whole being.
“y/n, is that you?”
what..?
that familiar voice. that familiar feeling. that familiar everything; it all came rushing back by the second of that moment. your heartbeat was getting loud again, and your head felt hazy, not knowing what to do. you opened your eyes towards the sound that called your name, and there he was, standing right in front of you.
“kazuya?”
“y/n, what are you doing here?” miyuki asked, dropping his bags below him. he couldn’t believe it either— couldn’t believe that you were here again right in front of him. if you thought you couldn’t get rid of the thought of the things that happened, then you should take a look at him, because he thought about you every second of the day; during his practices, during his games— not a minute passed by when he wasn’t thinking of you.
your breath got caught in your throat, fearing that this would’ve happened; maybe not this exact situation, but bumping into him. “hey kazuya,” you croaked, a lump forming in the core of your throat.
“you came to watch the game?” he quietly questioned, taking a seat next to you. he ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath.
“uh, yeah. my coworker had an extra ticket and i figured why not..” you replied, feeling awkward. you fidgeted in your seat, a clear indication that you weren’t sure what to do from here. did you even want to talk to miyuki? what were you even supposed to say?
“what are you doing here, kazuya?” you asked, “shouldn’t you be heading home?”
he replied, “i usually like sitting in the empty stadium after each game. it brings me back to the old days.”
and there it was again, that awkward silence that acted as a barrier between the two of you. your head started to hurt, and you started to think about all the memories you had with him. shit.
“y/n-”
“you played well, kazuya,” you said, interrupting him. you got up and packed your things, wanting to leave before you started to yearn for more than you should. if you didn’t get out, who knows what could happen? “i need to get going. good job today, kazuya. take care.” but before you could even get past him, he grabbed your arm and turned you around, his grip tightening on your wrist.
“kazuya! what are you doing—”
and with that, he roughly places his lips on yours, causing your knees to be weak and tremble with anxiety. he wrapped his arm around your waist, giving you support so you wouldn’t fall, and kissed even deeper into your own pair. shocked, you push him off, wiping the wetness of his lips with your hand.
“what was that for, idiot?!” you exclaimed, panting. the shadow of miyuki’s hair casted over his eyes, “i still love you, y/n.” he whispered, not looking up at you. but it was barely even audible, so you replied with a, “what? what did you say?”
then, miyuki looked up at you, his brown orbs burning with sensation. the same pairs that you loved so deeply. it caught you off guard, but you held your stance, waiting to repeat what he said.
“i still love you, y/n, and i never stopped. not after that day, not after we graduated— i’m so fucking in love with you still and i don’t know how to stop.”
your eyes widened, not registering what he just said. he still loves me? “cut the crap, kazuya..”
“y/n, i was a stupid high schooler who didn’t know any better,” miyuki continued, “but gosh, i never thought i’d see the day where i’d run into you again.”
beads of tears started to form in the corner of your eyes, mixed with emotions that you didn’t understand yourself. were you happy? angry? irritated? well, whatever it was, you couldn’t hold it in, and you could only move forward with it.
“kazuya..” you mumbled, “kazuya i—”
“you don’t have to answer, but i never stopped loving you y/n, and this just confirms it even more. you standing here right in front of me just makes me not want to let go.”
sigh, what’s there to lose anymore? you’re all he’s got, and the same went for you.
as the water began to run down your cheeks, you hugged him, burying your face into his shoulder. “i never stopped loving you either, kazuya. i never stopped thinking about you.”
miyuki’s heart pumped, looking at your figure perfectly fitted into his. he felt his shirt getting wet from your tears and felt the slight shivers you were giving off. he slowly wrapped his arms around you, getting a good embrace on your body. “y/n.. i’m so sorry for what happened before. i am so so sorry.” you nodded instead of speaking, too afraid to sound like an idiot when you were crying so hard. you hugged him tighter, a sign to tell him that it was okay, and that all that mattered was that he was there.
on the field he was the pretty boy catcher, miyuki kazuya, but on the outside he was now yours again; i mean, he always was yours.
“i’ll never let you go again, y/n. i promise. let’s talk about this at my place.”
EPILOGUE
“kazuya, i’m home!” you yelled, entering the threshold of your shared home with the love of your life. kazuya peeked out of the kitchen, wearing an apron and holding your little boy koya.
“dinner’s almost ready.” kazuya said, putting koya down. “this little guy’s been helping me in the kitchen.” your son ran up to you, going straight into your arms where he snuggled into your chest. you picked him up and swung him around, making his glasses fall just on the tip of his nose. you giggled and placed a kiss on his soft cheek, “koya’s been helping dad to cook? how sweet.” you teased, putting on his glasses properly. “pretty boy koya.”
a sudden wave of joy washed over you, content of the peak of your life. having a beautiful family, having an amazing job, all while spending it with the person you loved most. love hurts, and it uses a lot of our tears and brings out the worst; yet it is so beautiful, and in the end if it was meant to be, it will be.
“i love you, kazuya.”
“mm, i love you too.”
I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS SEQUEL, ANON! i was planning to keep prioritizing happiness just as one part, but i got carried away with this. i enjoyed writing this, thank you :)
also update: finished the daiya anime! i am empty.
#diamond no ace#daiya no ace#dna#daiyadaily#daiya x reader#diamond no ace x reader#kazuya miyuki#miyuki kazuya#miyuki x reader#miyuki kazuya x reader#kazuya miyuki x reader#kominato haruichi#kuramochi youichi#sawamura eijun#i love him#seido
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What Did You Call Me?
A/N: hello!! this is my first x reader and im very excited. this wasn't requested or anything, i just had this scene stuck in my head and i needed to write it down. i hope yall enjoy!!
rating: teen
wordcount: 1,317
warnings/notes: swearing, playfighting, mentions of scratching + biting, no ones actually hurt tho, use of the word "fruit", yall will see lmao, marko x male!reader, male pronouns used, vamp!reader, implied poly!lost boys, or at least implied parko but marko is also sweet with the reader, but theyre all in love with each other <3 i think thats it!
summary: marko was wrestless, as usual, and wont leave you alone. playfighting and fluff ensues!
Everyone was chilling in the hotel, it was pouring outside like nobody's business. One would think that they wouldn’t care, but the rain made it incredibly difficult to get around, even to big bad vampires. Plus, food would be scarce anyway, no one wanted to get drenched out tonight.
---
Marko would just not leave you alone.
Star and Paul were sitting together in one corner of the cave, Paul rummaging through his tapes and Star sewing and patching up some old clothes. She was trying to teach him a thing or two, but he was only half paying attention, too caught up in trying to find one specific tape. The search was not going well.
David, Michael and Dwayne were playing card games, sprawled out on the floor and swearing. You didn't know how intense their games could possibly be, but they were all concentrating like their lives depended on it. You think that maybe Dwayne was winning, but you didn't know, not paying close enough attention.
You were trying to read a book peacefully on one of the many couches that littered the hotel, but a certain small blond vampire was hellbent on getting your attention. Marko could never stay still for long, always had to be moving or doing something. Usually Paul would handle that, roughhousing or flying or other activities with him until he was too worn out, but this time he was putting all of his energy into bugging you.
Marko was currently chucking things at your head, soft things like paper or pillows, and laughing when you looked over to scowl at him. You tried your best not to give into his antics, but you've been stuck on the same paragraph for ten minutes, and you were starting to lose your patience.
"Marko, quit it."
The little bastard was just giggling, you could hear him moving around from behind you, but at this point you were too tired to care. After a few seconds, Marko grew quiet, which should have raised your alarm bells, but instead you were led under a false sense of security.
But then, last minute, your hearing caught footsteps, but before you could turn around or react- Marko was pouncing on you and laughing maniacally. You shout in surprise, your book going flying as Marko pinned you against the couch.
"Fuck! Marko!" You squirmed and tried to get out from under him, but he was an older vampire than you, and he was a good deal stronger.
Star looked up from her sewing to see the commotion happening, and she raised an eyebrow. "Marko, stop tormenting Y/N, leave him alone."
You continue to struggle, wiggling your arms and legs in an attempt to throw him off. "Yeah!" You shout, frustrated, "Let go of me, you fuckin fruit bat!"
Suddenly, it was deadly silent. Paul stopped looking through his tapes, Michael, David and Dwayne looked up from their game on the floor, and Star was staring, eyes wide. Marko looked like he was trying to process what you just said. You barely realized what you said yourself.
The silence was interrupted by Paul's loud laughter. He howled and clutched his sides, he could not believe what you just said! This sparked a chain of the others laughing as well, even Star couldn't keep from chuckling.
Marko sat up and let go of your arms, still straddling and you, his eyebrows furrowing, "What the hell did you call me?"
"He called you a fruit bat!" Paul shouted, still laughing hysterically. You tried to keep a straight face, but you eventually burst into laughter, forgetting what you were even annoyed about.
The small vampire on top of you immediately grabbed a hold of you and rolled the both of you off the couch and onto the floor. You let out a scream, wrestling Marko until you somehow came out on top, pinning his arms against his head. You smirked at him. "Am I wrong?"
"Fuck you!" He shouted, but it was behind laughter, and a bright smile that made you dizzy for a few seconds. Marko saw this window of opportunity to break out of your hold of his wrists and lunge for you, sending you flying back on the ground. While you and Marko were grunting and cursing and rolling around on the floor, the others were laughing and yelling encouragement at the two of you.
"Kick his ass Y/N!" Michael said, while Paul hollered, "Marko baby, you got this!"
Wrestling with Marko always felt like wrestling with a baby mountain lion. He was all teeth and claws, biting and scratching, not afraid to play dirty. It hurt in the moment, but the both of you healed quickly, allowing you to land a good kick to his shoulder. It threw him off, and you smirked, quickly running behind him and locking your arms around his neck. The blond swore and gripped at your arms, but you held tight, refusing to give up.
This lasted for all of fifteen seconds however, because Marko got crafty. He planted his feet, took a deep breath, and then threw himself back, making you land on the ground hard. You wheezed as pain shot through your spine and Marko got up, not wasting any time. He quickly rolled you over and had you on your stomach, arms bound behind you as he straddled your back. You fought and struggled, but it was impossible to get the upper hand in your current position. Eventually, you had to throw in the towel, your spine was seriously starting to regret this.
"Alright, alright!" You said, out of breath and exhausted, "I yield! Get the hell off of me."
More laughter and clapping could be heard as Marko chuckled and let you go. He did a little bow as you rolled over and sat up, catching your breath and playfully glaring at your pack mates, the traitors. Once Marko was done being smug, he turned towards you and held out his hand for you to grab. You grasped his hand, and the blond hoisted you up, almost knocking you right into his chest. Marko gives you a shit eating grin. "You put up a fight, I'm impressed."
You roll your eyes and playfully shove his shoulder, fighting a yawn forming in your throat. "Shut up." You reply, too tired to come up with a clever response. Markos' expression softens, and he gently checks you over, even though it isn’t really necessary. “I didn’t really hurt you, did I?” You shook your head, but your chest filled with warmth. “I’m all good, killer.” He smiles at you real wide, then grabs your hand and leads you to the couch.
When you're both in front of the couch, Marko flops down, wiggling around to get comfortable, then motions you to join him. You fight back a smile before gently moving, placing yourself on top of the smaller vampire, your head resting on his chest, just below his chin. Marko wraps his arms around you, and you let out a large breath. You place a small kiss on his collarbone, which makes him hum happily, and you chuckle softly. Sure, the fighting was rough, but you could always count on Marko to make it worth it in the end.
As the two start to drift off, the rest of the pack go back to what they were doing, but not without sharing glances and smiles with each other. Michael, David and Dwayne go back to their card games, Dwayne having won in the end, and Paul turns to Star to listen to their mini sewing lesson.
All is calm now, in the hotel-cave, the rain having let up a tad, now a steady beat tapping outside their home. None of them could complain, really, about this turn of events. Sometimes, it's better to just have a quiet night in doors.
#the lost boys#the lost boys 1987#the lost boys x reader#the lost boys marko#marko the lost boys#marko x reader#male!reader#this is just short n sweet n fluffy#idk what else to tag lmao#lost boys fics#decay fic tag
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Lost in Translation
A/N: Heyyyyy guys...remember when I used to post like every two weeks? Yeesh that’s awkward...but I’m backkkkk woooooooo party time! I was so excited that my discord buddies organized another fic swap because it was so much fun the first time. This time around I was chosen to write a doozy for the wonderful @writing-in-april and I have decided to bless you all with a beautiful subby boy. Sub Spencer lives in my head rent free, no cap. So sit back, relax and pretend it's you getting fricken railed. Peace out girl scouts;)
Pairing: SPENCER x READER
Category: SMUT hehe oh yeah and fluff
Word Count: 4.8k
ENJOY:)
~~~
MASTERLIST
~~~
For as long as she could remember, Y/n had always wanted to learn Russian.
So, naturally, when she found out that their newest case involved two lovers who also happened to be Russian criminals trying to escape the United States government, she simply couldn’t help but jump at the opportunity to become more involved in the investigation.
It’s not that she’d never been on a stakeout for the Bureau before, in fact she’d probably been on so many at this point that she’d lost count. The only difference that this specific stakeout brought to her life was the fact that it was her first one to have ever been shared with Spencer Reid.
Her and the young doctor had lived in the same apartment building since her first day at the BAU, but their relationship pretty much began and ended at that. Of course they greeted each other whenever they passed in the halls of their building and ricocheted off of each other’s theories whenever necessary during their meetings in the round table room, but it would be a lie to label their relationship as anything other than casual acquaintances as well as amicable coworkers.
She had never been able to fully get a grasp on the elusive Dr. Reid. The fact that he was already such an integral member of the F.B.I. at the ripe age of 25 astounded and, well to be honest, perplexed her. Not that she doubted his abilities or intelligence in any way, quite the opposite really. She admired how utterly brilliant he proved to be day in and day out, even with the shy exterior he presented himself with to the world. Well, shy was definitely more of an understatement.
She had never met someone more socially awkward in her entire life, but with that being said, she couldn’t help but find it endearing and pretty dang adorable. Y/n constantly found herself enjoying his pathetic attempts at human interaction on a daily basis. From the nervous stutters to the out of this world hand gestures, there was much for her to dissect about the young doctor. And while she could openly admit that he was quite easy on the eyes, in a boyish-innocent kind of way, she had never really been able to see him in that sort of light.
If she thought his normal social interaction skills were entertaining to witness, his reactions to any of the conversations that took a more raunchy turn were to die for. The speed at which his features would ripen red like a tomato whenever anything of a sexual nature was brought up during cases was truly amazing, impressive even. However, unlike the rest of their team, she knew he wasn’t completely innocent. The walls in their apartment were as good as paper when it came to thickness, so it wasn’t that big surprise that the sounds created within them carried fairly well.
Or at least that was what she had discovered after the first night she heard him touching himself just through her bedroom wall.
Yes, it was less than ideal that their bedroom walls just happened to be adjacent to each other, but what could she do about it? It wasn’t as though she never sought out her own pleasure while alone in her apartment...although she would bet money that she was much better at withholding her noises. Instead, she learned to adapt to the sounds from next door and continue on with her life, having accepted that guys will in fact be dudes, no matter how innocent and meek they may appear.
When her boss had explained the nature of the assignment to them, there wasn’t anything of significance that had jumped out at her. It was all pretty standard instruction. They would wait, parked, in a government issued SUV overnight at a location close to the whereabouts of the criminals and simply translate their conversations using the mics that were planted prior. While Hotch knew that Y/n herself couldn’t understand Russian, it was common knowledge that the resident genius easily could transcribe the language.
And that was how she found herself cramped next to Spencer Reid in the stagnant vehicle, pen and paper in hand, patiently waiting for the translations to begin.
It was almost completely silent inside the car, apart from the quiet whirring of the heat coming through the vents, and she could basically feel the nerves coming off of the man next to her in waves. That’s why she was completely thrown off her game when his timid voice was the first to break through the silence that had encompassed the space they inhabited together.
“So um Y/n..h-how have you been recently?”
She did her best to hide the small smirk that started to form on her face from the stuttering mess that spilled out of his mouth. She definitely didn’t want to make him feel even worse about himself so she decided to humour his adorable attempt at conversation with her...well...sort of.
“Oh ya know Reid, just counting the days until I get some action. How about you?” If she thought he was sputtering nervously before, that was nothing compared to this treasure.
“Oh um well uh I-I mean...I don-I don’t...uh...w-what was the question a-again?”
This time she couldn’t stop the airy chuckle that escaped her lips as she leaned over and patted him gently on his thigh.
“Relax Reid, I’m just fucking around with you. Well for the most part...I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to some action, but that’s a whole can of worms I am not about to open during a stakeout”, Y/n laughed, not at all missing the steadily spreading blush that coated his sharp features.
“Yeah...no..yeah right of course...I t-totally knew you were just um fu-messing with me! Uh we should probably um r-review our assignment...you know just so we’re all s-set before we start.” How adorable.
“Aye-aye captain Reid. Ok so..”, she muttered while fiddling with the listening device to secure the right frequency. “...we just have to wait until they get back so we’re in range of their conversations. That’s when you’ll have your time to shine and prove yourself as the resident genius once again. And I’m sure that you’re aware that I don’t know a lick of the Russian language so I will be the best damn transcriber for you that the world has ever seen”, she finished with a smirk.
Even Reid chuckled a bit at her words, the ever-present blush slowly creeping back upon his face and neck.
“I’ll uh-I’ll hold you to that then.” Y/n had to admit she particularly liked to see the boy smiling, especially when it was the result of her own words. His innocence seemed to call out to her like a siren and she didn’t know how to feel about it.
“Oh-oh there they are! Ok get the pen and paper ready because as soon as they’re in range I’ll start translating.”
Getting themselves situated, they waited the few seconds it took for the couple to get close enough to the vicinity of the SUV for their conversations to begin to be broadcasted through their system.
“Как вы думаете, они идут по нашему следу?”
“Do you think they’re on our trail?”, Spencer easily understands, leaning slightly closer to her so his words were clearly heard.
“Ни за что. У этих глупых американцев нет шансов поймать нас.”
“No way. Those stupid Americans don’t stand a chance at catching us.”
At this point, the couple had already disappeared behind the door at the entrance of their current base, leaving only their words to give the closely listening agents much needed context clues.
“Я когда-нибудь говорил тебе, как сильно мне нравится твоя уверенность?”
“Have I ever told you how much I love your confidence?”
Even Spencer let himself smile at the chuckle that left Y/n’s lips. “Awww how cute...they’re flirting with each other over mass murder. I strive for that kind of intimacy.”
“Да у тебя есть. Но почему бы тебе не показать мне, насколько тебе это нравится.”
“Yes, you have. But why don’t you show me just how much you love it.”
Uh oh, Y/n thought to herself. Not a second after the untimely thought permeated her brain, the sounds of wet lips sloppily colliding against each other filled the otherwise silent vehicle. After the few seconds of shock wore off, their heads whipped to face each other, eyes wide and mouths wide open. “Huh...well this was certainly an unexpected turn.”
“I uh um-uh well w-what do we do now?”, Tomato Boy nervously sputtered out over the chorus of moans and groans that were currently bouncing off the SUV’s walls. As unexpected as the present situation was, she was absolutely eating up his reaction to the crude sounds.
“Well, Hotch did say he wanted us to take down every single word that was shared between them so...I guess we’re just gonna have to keep moving forward with the translations. You can do that, can’t you Reid?”, she explained, not even attempting to hide the growing smirk on her face.
“Yeah! Yes! Mhmm I can do that, I c-can definitely do t-that.”, he gushed, trying to subtly clear his throat to clear the steadily growing tension in his body.
“Good to hear, Doc.”, she cheekily replied just as the raunchy sounds echoing through the system transitioned to different methods of communication, more legible ones.
“Ты была для меня такой хорошей девочкой. Я думаю, ты заслуживаешь награды.”
Quickly clearing his throat once more, he jumped back into action, with what Y/n noticed was considerably less confidence than before. “You’ve b-been such a good g-girl for me. I think you deserve a r-reward.” Spencer’s voice had noticeably dropped to a whisper by the end of the sentence, forcing Y/n to lean closer to be able to hear his translations, only magnifying the already present tension in the air.
“Пожалуйста, папа, я сделаю что угодно.”
“P-please daddy.” His voice broke at the end igniting something deep inside Y/n’s being. “I’ll do anything.” In that moment she truly believed he would do anything, his own words or not, based on the obvious strain in his pants that her eyes glanced over, and also by the way his skin completely succumbed to goosebumps as her warm breath caressed the shell of his ear. She didn’t really know what the hell was happening, why her body was absolutely loving the way he gradually leaned into her’s, submitting all of his vulnerabilities into her hands.
“Тебе это нравится, не так ли, маленькая шлюшка. Как член папы глубоко внутри тебя?”
She watched the way he inhaled a deep breath and released a high-pitched sigh before continuing on, subtly pressing her legs together to control the excitement thrumming through her body at his pathetic tone and mannerisms.
“You like t-that don’t you, you little-uh-you little s-slut?” From their close proximity, she could clearly make out the speedy heartbeat clambering against his chest as he spoke. And if that was the case, he must’ve been able to feel hers as well. “Like daddy’s c-cock deep inside of y-you?” She could’ve sworn she saw his dick twitch slightly in his pants.
“Маленькая шлюшка уже придет за мной? Тогда умоляйте об этом. Бля, умоляю позволить тебе кончить.”
Y/n certainly did not miss the airy sigh that escaped his lips, watching as a bead of sweat dripped down his temple, confidently guessing it was not from the heat that had been coming through the vents.
“Is the little-little s-slut gonna come for me already? B-beg for it then. Fucking beg f-for me to let you c-come.” Spencer was speedily falling apart at the seams and she was loving it. More than loving it. She was craving it. Craving the little noises that he was trying to stop from escaping his lips. Craving the way he slightly bounced his leg in an attempt to control his arousal, which was futile because it had obviously already reached its full potential in the confines of his khaki slacks.
“Пожалуйста, папа. Пожалуйста, позволь мне прийти. Мне это надо. Пожалуйста.”
Without even hearing the words translated back to her, she could hear the utter desperation in the girl’s voice. She no longer needed to understand the Russian language to be able to finish the translation, and as she sat there with her thighs tightly pressed together, she knew exactly what it meant.
“Please!” The utter need that was present in the original audio was somehow mirrored perfectly by the young doctor’s breathy voice, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, a prominent vein popping through the skin of his smooth forehead. “Please, p-please, please let me come. I n-need it. Please!”
“Приди за мной, детка.”
Deciding that she could regret her actions in the morning, Y/n quickly grabbed his face before he could translate, angling his head so she could whisper directly into his ear at the same time he spoke the last line of the night.
“Come for me baby.”, they both spoke at the exact same time.
Pulling away as fast as possible, she watched his clamped eyes shoot open as the most obnoxiously loud moan she had ever heard escaped the poor kid, his whole body spasming as a result. And using the large stain on the crotch of his pants as a guide, she was pretty certain she knew what had happened.
For the next few minutes there was silence in the SUV, apart from Spencer’s heavy breathing as he came down of course, leading them to believe the couple had fallen asleep after their...activities. Of course she wanted nothing more than to tease the trembling mess next to her, but she could already tell he was mortified beyond belief because of what happened so she didn’t want to make it any worse for him than it already was.
After waiting a few extra minutes just to make sure that they had actually gone to sleep, the pair drove away from the stakeout location, Spencer not having said a word since his...big finish. As much as she loved watching him fall apart in front of her, she really didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable around her.
“Well that was certainly an unexpected turn of events for the night, huh?”, she said, lightly chuckling with the intent of lightening his mood. She was very glad to see it had the intended effect.
“Uh y-yeah...you could definitely say that again.”, he mumbled with the ghost of a smile on his plump lips, though she could still clearly make out the blush coating his features.
“So hey, I know that you usually take the metro, but I’d be more than happy to give you a ride home after we drop the SUV off at the office if you want.”, she warmly smiled in his direction without taking her eyes completely off the road.
“Oh um..yeah that would be perfect. Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it Reid.”
~~~
The rest of the ride back to the office was pretty much spent in silence, but it was much more comfortable than it had been before, which was a huge relief. After dropping the keys to the SUV in the lock box inside, the two agents piled into Y/n’s car to go back home to their shared building. On their way back she considered just asking him if he wanted to ride with her everyday just to make his life a little easier in the long run.
Once they got to the parking lot and exited the vehicle, they began walking towards the entrance together, the awkward tension from before creeping back into the air around them. Soon enough, they found themselves standing in front of their respective doors, both unsure of how they were supposed to end the night’s interactions. After a few moments of painful silence and eye contact, Y/n was the first one to rip off the band-aid.
“So...I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Reid?” He seemed to be broken out of his trance by the sound of her voice, snapping back to attention.
“Huh? Oh yeah uh yes of course. S-see you tomorrow Y/n. Goodnight.” He scampered into his apartment before she could even get a chance to respond to his bidding.
“Goodnight.”, she whispered to no one other than herself as she unlocked her door and headed inside to shower quickly before diving into her soft sheets.
She was sitting up in her bed, book in hand, with only the small glow of her reading lamp illuminating her room when she heard it. Of course she knew immediately what they were, a talent that had developed and strengthened from living adjacent to a pretty much pubescent boy.
The tell-tale sound of moans and groans vibrating right through her wall.
She knew she probably shouldn’t be listening, something about a violation of privacy or whatever, but she just couldn’t help it. He sounded so desperate it was driving her insane. So much in fact that she was in the process of skimming her own hand downwards when she was interrupted by a certain something from the Doc’s room.
“Y/n! Oh god, please. Please.”
Oh. Oh.
Not even giving herself a second to consider her actions, she was up on her feet basically sprinting to his door, pajamas and all. Not even bothering with knocking, she noticed it was unlocked and let herself in, beelining for what she assumed was his bedroom by the increasing volume as she approached it. Standing in his doorframe, she was utterly mesmerized. There he was, sprawled across his sheets, completely bare with sweat coating his hair as he rapidly pumped his angry, red cock, her name tumbling from his lips like a chant.
“You’re so beautiful like this.” She smirked as she watched his head shoot up to where she was standing, his hand immediately stilling it’s rapid movements. Watching the panic spread on his face was intoxicating to her as she slowly approached his bed.
“Y/n! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I uh-I didn’t um...” His words trailed off and his eyes widened as he watched her slowly begin removing her clothes as she moved closer to him.
“Shhhhhh.” She managed to remove both her shirt and pajama pants in the short trip over to his bed and she had no intention of stopping there. Now standing directly in front of him, she let her eyes wander over his still frame completely, soaking in the amazement in his dark eyes and the slight tremble that was periodically rippling through his body. Maintaining eye contact with him the whole time, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, letting it pool on the floor next to her.
It was honestly shocking his eyes didn’t actually fall onto the floor with how far they bulged out of their sockets, a small moan leaving his mouth.
She giggled at his enthusiasm before bringing her soft hands up to caress his face gently, his body shuddering at the contact. “Do you want me to keep going baby boy?” Taking a second to process the question that had left her lips, he slowly nodded while looking her in the eyes, his own full of awe.
Happy with his answer, she reached for the edge of her panties before pushing them down to join the other pieces of clothing already inhabiting his floor. Spencer couldn’t speak. He could barely even breathe. Five minutes ago he had been jerking off to his neighbor, who also happened to be his coworker, and now said neighbor was crawling onto his bed, completely naked, with a wicked smirk on her face.
Straddling his lap, but making sure that there was no actual contact, she reached up to cup his face again, slowly rubbing circles into his defined cheekbone. “Is this ok baby boy? Is this what you want?”, she cooed.
Spencer looked like he honestly might cry from the pure compassion laced within her words, but still found a way to nervously nod his head in affirmation of her questions. With a warm smile on her face, she leaned forward and placed a feather-light kiss on his lower jaw before continuing up the side of his face, basking in the small whimpers that fell from his pretty lips. Finally reaching his ear, she let her warm breath tease him before proceeding.
“Do you want me to take control of you? Is that what you want sweet boy?” While the whine that immediately escaped him was answer enough, she pulled back searching for a more concrete answer to her question. “Hmmmm, you’d like that?”
“Yes.”, he whispered, nodding his head anxiously.
While he was answering she had leaned back towards his face, placing soft kisses all over. “As you wish baby boy.”, she whispered, changing course to attack his neck with her eager lips as soon the words left her mouth. Spencer gasped instantly and she couldn’t help but smirk against his pale flesh, increasing the pressure in which she was assaulting his neck.
Through the groans that spilled past his lips, she was able to make out his pathetic attempt at words, not slowing down her lips at all. “J-just make sure not to leave any m-marks. We’ll g-get in trouble at w-work.” Of course Spencer would be the only person on the planet to remember their office guidelines while getting his neck sucked like a vampire.
“No marks...that’ll be difficult. I want everyone to know just how thoroughly I fucked you.”
Feeling extremely satisfied by his enthusiastic response to her vulgar words, she slowly lowered herself down his body, pausing with her mouth right above his groin. Somehow the poor kid already looked completely fucked out and she hadn’t even done anything yet. Hearing him wince as she gently grasped and started stroking his cock, she knew this was gonna be fun.
Staring directly into her eyes, he watched the string of spit leave her mouth and drip directly onto his dick, eyes bulging at her bold actions, still in shock that any of this was actually happening.
Entranced by the way his chest expanded rapidly as he watched her curiously, she leaned forward and licked the tip, his head falling back onto the pillow behind him. “I’m gonna suck your cock...but only because I want to see if you can not be a spaz about getting head from me.” Her words made Spencer whimper and she smirked as she took him fully into her mouth, soaking in his pretty noises.
Y/n had only been going for a minute or two when she heard his groans get louder and felt him twitch in her mouth. Pulling off of him with a pop, she hummed at the sight of the completely wrecked boy in front of her, panting and shaking adorably. It wasn’t long before the perfect idea infiltrated her head, her body thrumming with anticipation and excitement.
“You’ve been such a good boy for me. I think you deserve a reward.”, she smirked, reciting the words that they had heard verbatim. Seemingly catching on to what she was pushing for, he responded accordingly.
“Please Y/n. I’ll do anything.”
She quirked her eyebrow in his direction questioningly, slowly grinding her dripping core against his achingly hard cock. “Anything, baby boy?”
Snapping his heated stare directly to her eyes, he cracked a beautiful smile. “Anything.”
She couldn’t control the grin that overtook her lips as she lowered herself down onto his erection, writhing in pleasure at the feel of him inside of her and the sound of his wanton moans. “Good boy.”
Wanting to give Spencer time to fully adjust and control himself, she started her movements out slow, lifting herself up until only his tip remained inside before dropping down completely into his lap repeatedly. He was a moaning mess on the sheets below her, sweat coating his body along with goosebumps covering every visible expanse of his skin as he panted like a dog. He was so fucking pretty like this.
Deciding enough was enough, she picked up the pace considerably, bouncing like a mad woman on his dick, while her sharp nails scratched down his creamy, pale chest in front of her, leaving angry, red streaks in their wake. Spencer had devolved into a blubbering mess underneath her and that lit her soul on fire.
“You like that don’t you, you little slut? Like your cock deep inside of me? Huh?”
Y/n was pretty sure that he was short circuiting below her, his brain cutting off all control over his body as he spasmed uncontrollably and moaned for the entire fucking building to hear. Good, she thought. Let them hear how whipped he was for her. Even though it had only been a few minutes since she increased her speed, she could feel his cock starting to twitch violently inside of her and she knew he was close, really close.
“Is the little slut gonna come for me already?” All he could do was whimper in response, having to nod his head emphatically due to his loss of speech.
“Beg for it then. Fucking beg for me to let you come!” She was on fucking cloud nine right now, floating through the motions, as his whimpers increased in volume and speed. Mustering up all the strength he could, he spit out as many audible words as possible.
“Please! Please, please, please let me come! I need it! Please!” He was crying now, tears rapidly pouring from his eyes and spilling down his cheeks out of sheer desperation and need to release the tension built up within his body.
She was in awe of him. As she watched the tears pour down his face, she couldn’t help but whimper too. Desperately needing to finish, herself, she brought one hand down to make circles around her clit, while the other she brought up to wrap gently around his flushed throat, leaning over to whisper in his ear like she had earlier that night.
“Come for me, baby.”
She once again pulled back to witness his reactions to her hushed words, the outcome only more amazing than before. She watched as his eyes rolled back as far they could possibly go into his head as his mouth dropped open in pure ecstasy, high-pitched whines escaping his lips, his release shooting up into her like it had always belonged there. Maybe it had.
Watching him come undone below her, combined with her hand speedily rubbing circles on her clit, she was catapulted into the most amazing climax of her entire life, her body buzzing with excitement as she tightened around him and collapsed on his chest, weak as could be after that activity.
The pair laid silently, apart from the heaving breaths whirring through the room, still in shock over what had just transpired minutes before. Slowly shifting her eyes to the shivering boy below her, she saw he was caught in a trance, his eyes dazed, a soft grin on his lips.
Breaking him from his stupor, she gently cupped his cheek with one hand as the other drew lazy circles on his blotchy chest. Rubbing the skin on his face lightly, she leaned forward and kissed his nose, making him scrunch it up and giggle as a result. “Such a sweet boy for me. Such a sweet, sweet boy.” Her words made him melt inside and words tumbled out of his own mouth before he could even think about stopping them.
“Вы красивы внутри и снаружи.”
She looked up at him in shock, before breaking out in giggles. “Did you just serenade me in Russian? How romantic.”, she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
He couldn’t seem to control his giggles either, a fact that warmed her heart. “Yes, I suppose I did.”
Smiling up at the adorable boy she just had to ask. “What does it mean?”
Y/n watched as his signature blush quickly coated his features once again as he looked down at her with a shy smile. “You are beautiful, inside and out.”
With the warmest grin she could muster, she leaned up and kissed his jaw once more before snuggling up against the young doctor who had melted her heart.
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wish I were (pt2)
harry acts like everything is good and dandy but reader sees Heather wearing the sweater
part 1 here
‘heather’ by conan gray
WARNINGS - ANGST
WORD COUNT - 1,892
A/N: hehe because it was december 3rd, I just had to get this chapter done to post even if it might be a little late but here ya go
____________________________________________________________
My guitar rested on my thigh as i brought my head down to lay on the fret, staring at the blank piece of lined paper in front of me. I sighed, turning my head away and just bathed in the silence of the separate room from the main studio. The weight on my chest might of suggested the frustration out of my creative block, unable to produce words or lyrics for the past weeks. Or that I was progressively losing the will to even pick up an instrument, as strumming the strings took a lot of energy for me to do.
The oversized hoodie I brought kept me warm, but i knew that wasn't satisfying enough. However the idea of wearing one of his hoodies I've place in a closed box in the corner of my apartment hurt too much and that now I'm back in the studio after weeks of trying to avoid coming here at all costs. After the New Year's party, I've done nothing but wallow up in my apartment alone, trying to come up with songs as quickly as possible just so I could get this project done and over with. That proved to be difficult however, especially with Harry trying to call on a normal basis.
"Helllooo bubs, why haven't you been showing up at the studio eh?"
"You said at the beginning of this project that I could work at home whenever I want. I'm just taking you up on that offer."
"Of course, you'd remember me sayin' that. How've you been love, haven't seen you in a while though."
"Fine, just been doing my job."
"Well yeah, can't write all these lovely songs without your talent, can I? You gonna come in tomorrow then?"
I hesitated for a second, biting my tongue when I felt my eyes pool up again. "I'll just send a pdf of lyrics to you Harry."
"O-oh. Well that would conventionally work... yes but you have to come in tomorrow though."
"Why? Just text me what you like and don't like about the verses and I'll fix them."
"Bubs you know how I feel about in person collaboration. Plus the deadlines are coming up and it'll be easier and faster to have you in the studio."
"Okay."
He hesitates this time and I could see his brows furrowed together as well as having a hand on his hip. Most likely wearing lose sweats and the knitted cardigan he's been falling in love with over the months. His hair a bit longer than it was last time I saw him and his pink lips quirked to the side in thought. Maybe the bags under his eyes are gone, has been looking more happier lately. More happier than I could of made him to be over the months. "Are you okay?"
"I have to go Harry, I'll see you tomorrow."
"Oh see yo-"
He was the first one to greet me when I arrived, and I wanted nothing more than to burst out sobbing when I see his smile. It took everything not to do so, giving him a tight lip smile and quick side hug before sitting down farthest away from him. For the first hour and a half of discussion, I didn't say much and zoned off a lot, tuning in and out of the conversation Harry leaded about a song he had written recently. I felt his glances on me when I turned away, probably sensing my unwillingness to comment so he was considerate enough to not put me under the spotlight in the discussion.
In the middle of it, Harry's phone started ringing and he didn't waste a second to excuse himself to answer it. "Hello? Oh hey darling, you almost here?" I froze when he grows a cheesy smile on his face as he walks further to the other side of the studio before telling us to continue without him. I took a deep breathe, not mentally prepared to be in the same room as her. Has she always been coming to the studio or did I just choose to worse day to finally come in?
I try to focus doodling in my little notebook, but it grew harder and harder to focus on anything else but the way he crosses his arms and laughs while on the phone with her. From the corner of my eye, it was definite he's completely captivated just hearing her voice and I could just picture the angelic tone of it.
I didn't realize I was tapping my pencil till I hear Sarah calling out my name, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Are you okay, haven't seen you in a while." I nodded, putting on a smile.
"Yeah sorry, been getting a lot of work opportunities and just a bunch of family stuff that's exhausted me." Sarah gives me a look that resembles one of a mother who knows their child isn't telling the full truth, but she nods and pats my hand. "Completely understandable. But that's exciting, new artists been reaching out to you n' all that?"
"Ha surprisingly, considering saying yes to all of them." my smile was growing genuine a little, thinking about how content I was with my career. Being a lyricist and songwriter was a definite risky path to take in terms of stability, but it made me happier knowing I was able to to do.
"Oh of course, you can totally do it. Probably wanted to see what all the hype was about when Harry couldn't stop talking about you at every social gathering he's been at." Sarah chuckles, rolling her eyes playfully.
"Yeah?" I quickly looked down, feeling my eyes water as the pang in my chest came back. "Mhmm, acts like Thomas and Mitch don't even exist."
I laugh lightly at that, fiddling with my fingers as I focused down on my notebook. I found myself in an awkward situation, not knowing how to continue the conversation but knowing I didn't want to try. I love Sarah, but I was close to break down right there if I tried and it was not the place to do so. Not when everyone is trying to meet deadlines and Harry was about to walk in with Heather at any moment.
"Hey, I actually have a lot of emails to respond to so I'm gonna be in the other room." I stood up, taking a guitar and my notebook. "Might actually be better for me to focus in."
"Sure, we'll let Harry know." I gave her a grateful smile, walking out into the hallway to a different room. I let out another shaky breath, feeling overwhelmed once I was finally alone. But before I could close the door, I hear her. I peak out to see both her and Harry standing at the entrance of the building, huddled close together.
"Sorry I forget it gets this cold in LA sometimes." She says, looking up at him while he rubs the sleeves of his sweater that was wrapped perfectly around her.
It was a simple orange stripped sweater. A vintage that Harry bought in Vienna and became one of his favorites. It was just a simple polyester sweater, but it became my favorite too. So it was hard to give it back after wearing it that night we kissed, but fuck was it harder to see her wearing it.
Now as I sit alone with no sense of motivation to do anything else but wallow in my own pity I thought about a lot of things. I should be angry, be fuming and cursing at Harry for how he's been acting. I should confront him, make him feel as hurt as he made me for choosing her. Or maybe I should hate Heather, despise her for taking the chance I had with him.
But deep down I know I couldn't hate Heather. She's such an angel, it wasn't her fault he's still hung up on her. And as much as the image of his arm wrapped around her kills me, I couldn't hate him either for the same reason. She looked prettier in his sweater than I did.
"You okay in here bubs?" As if the tears welling up in my eyes and heavy weight on my chest wasn't enough, the sound of knuckles against the door and his voice calling out my name made me almost sob.
"Yeah, I'm good. Door's open." I quickly try to compose myself when he enters the room, giving me that warming smile of his. "Just wanted to check up on ya, been quiet since you got here."
Harry looks at me with concerning eyes as he places a hand on my shoulder before crossing his arms and leaning against the wall in front of me. Keep your hand on my shoulder, the second it was there all the nerves went away. I wanted to say but instead I fake a smile again, waving it off and shrugging. "Oh no, just have a lot on my plate don't worry."
He nods, feeling his eyes on me while I try to avoid his by opening my laptop and skimming through my inbox. "Sarah told me about different singers reaching out to you." He points at my laptop before taking a seat on the chair to the side. I nodded, humming while I typed out quick responses. "Yup, thanks by the way but now I gotta sort out a whole schedule for this year." I took a glance up to see him focused on my song journal on the table in front of us.
“So...you and Heather huh?” The sheepish smile he has tugs my heart strings but I tried to keep from fumbling with my fingers.
“Yeah uhh...” He scratches the back of his neck, keeping his eyes on his hands and looking like a young kid with a crush. “Started talking again and catching up, been working out stuff between us since the party.”
I tilt my head to the side, motioning him to continue. “She’s gorgeous...”
“She’s amazing.”
I finally looked away from him and onto my screen, letting out a little chuckle.
“So you guys are back together?”
“No no, we’re just sort of figuring things out at the moment.” Though it was an answer I was hoping for, the look in his face was none the less comforting.
“Well, hope everything goes great. You guys look perfect together.” I managed to say, going back to typing while he only responds with a nod and hum.
There was silence. Does he not feel it too? Uncomfortable silence was never a thing between us but it was prevalent here. "Not gonna leave early are you though?" He says out of no where and I stopped typing for a sec to give my attention to him. "Not going to ditch me for someone else of course." He says it with a laugh, playing it off like an obvious joke... but the way he looked at me.
Part of me wanted to scream at how oblivious and selfish that statement sounded coming from him, as if he has no idea the drastic shift our relationship has taken. But I see the vulnerability in his eyes, sensing the subtext in his question that is practically asking me to stay. Stick by his side and help finish this passion project he's dedicated to put out, not only for his fans but for himself. Be with him to figure out what to do next, even if I would be in a different county or continent and working with someone else. Keep in touch throughout because I've become an important person in his life. Even if that person who used to fill that spot came back, he's still here and asking me to stay with him in a similar sense.
It wasn't the kind of love I wanted, but never the less, it was still love from Harry.
Did the smile I wear at that moment reach my eyes? When I placed my hand on top of his in reassurance, was the hesitance obvious? Maybe he did notice the little signs, but he took my hand in his anyways and placed it against his heart.
"Of course, 'm always gonna here Harry."
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part 3
A/N: guys my heart hurts writing this lol. There’s gonna be one or two more parts of this series, but thank you for reading! feedback is appreciated :)
#Harry Styles#harry styles angst#harry styles imagine#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles fluff#harry styles x reader#one direction#harry styles blurb#heather
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Gay Secrets and Fabulous Hair
pairing: jily (james x lily), wolfstar (remus x sirius)
genre: fluff FLUFF FLUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFF
warnings: minor panic attack
words: 4508
“What’s up, Evans?” Sirius said, coming into the common room and sitting on the couch beside Lily.
“What? Oh, nothing,” she said.
“Come on, spill,” Sirius said. “What’s bothering you?”
“Nothing, nothing. Just Potter—”
“Ah, got James on your mind now, have you?” Sirius said, smirking.
“Shut up, Sirius,” she said, but she blushed and looked at her hands, giving her away entirely. “He’s just getting on my nerves is all.”
“Hmm, what did he do this time?” Sirius asks.
“Ok, this is going to sound dumb. But he won’t shut up about his hair and it’s giving me a headache. He’s just so self-absorbed. It was fine when I hated him because I didn’t have to listen to him rambling on about it all the time but now that we’re actually friends… it’s quite irritating.”
“Yeah, he hasn’t shut up about his hair for about seven years. Although I suppose I’m being a hypocrite right now cause, let’s be honest, neither have I.”
“True, true,” Lily said. “It just annoying, you know?” But she had a small smile on her face. She tried to hide it but Sirius saw it. He knew Lily fancied James. It was beyond obvious. But while she refused to admit it he could still have some fun, couldn’t he? Besides, it wouldn’t be long before Lily and James got together. He should take advantage of this opportunity before it’s too late. And he just had the perfect idea.
“You know,” he started, grinning mischievously at Lily, “we might be able to fix that.” Lily turned to him, eyebrows raised.
“I’m listening.”
---------
When James wakes up the next morning, Sirius is still asleep. Predictable. He changes and goes downstairs to breakfast but before he leaves the common room, a new notice on the noticeboard catches his eye.
Society for Witches and Wizards with Hair More Fabulous Than Life Itself
Exclusive invitations will be given to those with outstanding hair by tonight
If you wish to join and were not given an invitation, you may come to the auditions that will be held over the next two days and we, Lily Evans and Sirius Black shall decide if your hair is spectacular enough to join our club.
Again, it was predictable that Sirius would start a society for people with fabulous hair. But Lily? She was always going on about how James was too self-absorbed. This seemed pretty hypocritical. Although, in all fairness, Lily did have fabulous hair. James Potter, of all people, would know that.
All day, James waited for Sirius or Lily to invite him to join their society but neither one of them mentioned anything. Lily invited Marlene at lunch and she accepted, giving Lily a bewildered look until Lily whispers something in her ear and they both giggle and keep whispering together. James edges closer to where their sitting and tries to be as quiet as possible. Lily’s laugh was the most angelic sound James had ever heard and every time he heard it, it filled him with a sense of warmth and bubbly happiness and excitement. He knows that Lily doesn’t like him like that but he can’t help treasure these moments where he can appreciate all the little things about her that somehow nobody else seems to notice. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes.
James didn’t want to be in love with Lily. Loving someone who could hardly stand you was painful enough, but to become friends with her and realize that she’s more incredible than you could’ve ever imagined… that was a type of hurt James never thought he would experience. No, James did not want to be in love with Lily Evans. But it baffled him that there were people — living, breathing people who existed in this world — who had not fallen in love with her. James thought it was unavoidable.
He didn’t tell Lily any of this, of course. James had asked Lily out but she had turned him down. And that was it. He respected her decision. But that didn’t mean he could fall out of love. Because he was sure that it was love that he felt for Lily. True love or soulmates or whatever you want to call it. But this was it. This was the real deal. The only trouble was that it was only real for James.
It was nearly eleven at night when James finally asked Sirius about his invitation. He had given up waiting for either him or Lily to approach him and decided to just ask Sirius.
“I mean, I know we share a room but don’t you think you’ve waited a little too long?” James said. “Marlene got her invitation at lunch.”
“Um, Jamie, I don’t know how to break this to you but…” Sirius started, “you weren’t invited.”
“What?” James said. “But I have spectacular hair!”
“Just… come to the auditions tomorrow if it means so much to you, ok mate?” James merely shrugs.
The next day James still hasn’t decided if he wants to audition. On one hand, he knows he’ll pass the audition because, well, have you seen his hair? But on the other hand, he doesn’t want to give Sirius the satisfaction of knowing that James actually cares about his hair. Because he was sure that Sirius didn’t invite him on purpose. What other reason could there be? It certainly wasn’t because of James’ hair. That he was certain of.
It’s during lunch that James makes up his mind, after discovering that both Mary and Dorcas auditioned.
“They score you out of ten,” Mary explained to him. “I got a 7 but they said that isn’t a high enough score.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mary, you have beautiful hair,” James reassured her. Mary smiles at him like he’s a little kid.
“Thank you, James. I don’t really care, to be honest; I was just curious to see what they’re doing,” she says shrugging. “What did you get, Dorcas?”
“I got a nine,” Dorcas said.
“Good on you,” James says, clapping her on the back.
“Thanks, James,” Dorcas said laughing. “Are you going to audition?”
“Probably,” James said, shrugging. He tries to look nonchalant but he’s determined to go now.
When James finds the classroom that the audition is being held in, he knocks on the door.
“Come in,” says Lily’s voice. She and Sirus sitting behind a desk with quills and parchment. James enters and stands in front of their desk.
“Ok so how does this work?” he asks. “Do you just score me now or…?”
“Potter, you get a two out of ten,” Lily says, writing something down on a piece of paper. “Not nearly close enough to join. You’re dismissed.”
“What?! How? I have the best hair out of all of you!”
“Because Potter, your hair is messy and sticks up in odd places and it looks like you’ve never bothered to run a comb through it in your life,” Lily says.
“Sorry mate, she’s right,” Sirius said. He’s got a hand over his mouth but it’s clear he’s laughing.
“Wha— I… fine,” James grumbles. He points a certain finger in their direction and stalks out of the room, outraged.
---------
“Remus!” Remus turns around at the sound of his name and sees James walking towards him.
“Oh, hey James,” Remus says.
“Hi, Moony, my new best friend,” James says, swinging an arm around him. Remus looks at him suspiciously.
“What did Sirius do?” he asks.
“What makes you think Sirius did anything? Can’t a guy decide that no longer want a… a… annoying person as their best friend?”
“Really? Annoying person? That’s the best you can do?” Remus says, rolling his eyes.
“Give me a break, I’m not used to actually insulting Sirius,” James muttered.
“So what did he do?” Remus asks again.
“Did you hear about his and Lily’s Society for fabulous hair?”
“Oh yeah,” Remus said, laughing. “Oh. Did you not pass the audition?”
“It’s so unfair!” James bursts out. “I mean you and I have perfectly good hair.”
“Um, James…. I was, um, I was actually invited,” Remus mumbled.
“They invited YOU?!?!?!” James exclaims. Remus holds back laughter and nods. Benefits of fucking one of the founders of the society, I guess, Remus thinks. He nearly says it out loud but stops himself. James goes on to ramble about his hair but Remus isn’t really listening anymore. He’s thinking about Sirius (no surprises there).
If Remus is being honest with himself, he’s tired of sneaking around. He loves Sirius. He loves Sirius more than anyone. And he wants people to know it. He’s not saying they should go around broadcasting their relationship but being able to hold hands in public or make jokes (such as these) around their friends would be nice.
His whole life Remus had done nothing but hide his identity. When his friends found out he was a werewolf it was an enormous weight lifted off his chest. When he told his friends he was gay, not only were they all incredibly supportive, but it had given Sirius the courage to come out to Remus as well. That was how they got together in the first place.
Neither he nor Sirius had been ready to share their relationship with the rest of their friends back then. But Remus was ready now. But he didn’t want to push Sirius into anything. Sirius wasn’t out to their friends and if his family ever found out the consequences could be dire, even though Sirius no longer lived in Grimmauld Place. And Remus wouldn’t risk Sirius’ safety for anything. When Sirius was ready he would tell him. And Remus would wait. He’ll wait as long as it takes. He’d wait forever. Because nothing can compare, nothing can even come close, to the all-consuming happiness that Remus feels when he’s with Sirius. And he wouldn’t give that feeling up for the world.
---------
But Sirius was becoming tired of being closeted too. He used to be so afraid of leaving the closet. He felt the fear in his bones; it would make him shiver. It had been a safe place for him. Safer to hide his feelings, to bury them, than to risk his family finding out. Or worse, his friends finding out and hating him. But now the closet felt small and suffocating. Sirius was tired of hiding who he was. He was tired of it. When he was with his family he wore a mask of confidence and rebelliousness to protect himself. But when he was with his friends he had always been himself. Unapologetically himself. Keeping a secret this big from his friends, especially from James, felt weird and unnatural. But the threat of his family hung over his head like a vulture, waiting for the perfect excuse to strike, not only at him but at the Potters now too. And Sirius was afraid that this would be just the excuse they were waiting for.
---------
Lily and Sirius kept up the society for a couple of days before deciding that they had dragged it on long enough. They told the few people who had joined that they had been playing a prank on someone and thanked them for playing a vital part in it but it was over now.
Later that night, Lily was in the library working on her Charms essay with her friends, although they were doing more talking than working.
“Ugh, Lily, I can’t do this,” Marlene complained. “Please help me.”
“I can’t, Marls, I’m sorry,” Lily said, checking her watch. “I have prefect rounds soon.”
“You mean Head Girl rounds,” Alice corrected.
“Eh, it’s the same thing,” Lily said. “They’re equally boring.”
“Really? Even when you get to spend all that quality time with James Potter,” Dorcas said, winking at her.
“Shut up,” Lily said, blushing.
“Speaking of spending quality time with your crush—” Mary started.
“He is not my crush!” Lily insisted.
“You don’t really think we believe you, do you Lils?” Alice asked. Lily sighed in defeat.
“Fine,” she said. “I like him and I would also like to not make a big deal of it. You were saying, Mary?”
“I was just going to ask where Remus is,” she said. “He could help us with this essay if he wasn’t… preoccupied.”
“Yeah, he and Sirius disappeared after dinner,” Marlene said, smirking.
“Yeah, they’re not fooling anyone any more than you are Lily,” Dorcas said.
“Hey, I’m not that bad!” Lily insisted. “Am I?”
“Not quite,” Dorcas said, laughing.
“But that’s not saying much, Lils,” Marlene said.
“Ugh, now I really have to go,” Lily said. “But I can check your essay later if you want me to Marlene.”
“Lily, you’re an angel. I love you. Seriously, thank you so so much,” Marlene said, hugging Lily.
“Of course,” Lily said, laughing. “See you guys later.”
She hurried back to the Gryffindor common room to put her books away and find James. The first sign that something was wrong was that James wasn’t waiting to greet her at the entrance. Every day without fail, James would wait for Lily to be ready for their rounds, unable to hide his excitement. But today she finds him sitting alone in the common room, biting his nail and doodling on a piece of parchment while staring into the fire, seemingly absent-mindedly but Lily can that something is bothering him.
“Ah Potter, don’t be so upset about the hair thing, ok?” she says, coming up from behind him and ruffling his hair flirtatiously before she sits on the couch beside him. “It’s nothing personal. Well, actually no, it’s very personal but it’s all just a joke, right? It’s over now anyway. We called it off.”
“What?” he asks, looking at her. “Oh, yeah. I mean, no that's not why… you know what never mind.”
“What is it?” she asks.
“It doesn't matter,” James replies.
“Potter, something is obviously bothering you. If it didn’t matter you wouldn’t be thinking about it. What's the matter?”
“Fine,” James says. “It’s… I’m worried about Sirius.”
“Sirius?” Lily asks. She was confused. Sirius seemed fine to her. Happier, in fact, than he had been all of last year. Happier than he had been in a long time. She had thought that this was because he had left his family and moved in with James over the summer. But perhaps James had seen something that she hadn’t. “What about him? He seems fine, doesn’t he?”
“He seems fine,” James says. “But he keeps sneaking around at night and disappearing during the day—”
“Isn’t that custom for you two?” she asks, smirking.
“Yeah for us. But now he’s going alone. And every time I ask him about it he has the worst cover-up stories. I mean, there’s only so many times you can go to the bathroom in one day. I’m worried that he’s… I don’t know. He’s never done this before. I don’t want him to do something stupid and get himself hurt.”
“When you say sneaking around and disappearing… do you mean when he goes with Remus?” Lily asks, slowly.
“What?” James asks. “I mean, I never really thought about that. I just always figured Remus was going to the library to study or going somewhere with you or Mary or Alice. Like he does all the time. I didn’t think what they were doing was connected. Do you?”
“Um, Potter,” Lily says, starting to laugh, “you are really the most oblivious shit on the planet, aren’t you?”
“I am not!” James insists. Then after a moment, “what do you mean?” Lily rolls her eyes.
“I can’t believe I actually have to tell you this,” she says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Remus and Sirius are dating.”
“What?” James says. Then after comprehending the words that Lily just said, he jumps up to his feet. “WHAT?” Lily starts laughing.
“How the fuck did you not realise that?”
“No way,” James said. “No fucking way. Sirius isn’t even gay, Evans.” Lily just laughs harder.
“Oh god, you really are stupid,” she says. “Fine, if you don’t believe me, go upstairs to your dorm right now, quietly, and see what Remus and Sirius are doing. If they aren’t making out, I will give you five sickles. If they are, you have to give me five sickles. Deal?”
“Deal. You’re delusional, Evans.” So they shake on it and James goes upstairs.
---------
The door is locked. James casts Alohomora non-verbally and creaks the door open. And there they are. Locked in a kiss, Sirius pressed up against the wall, his shirt hanging open, Remus’ jumper on the floor. James stands there, his mouth hanging open at the sight of his two best friends making out. Suddenly they break apart.
“James,” Sirius says, suddenly and Remus whips around to face James as well.
“Holy shit,” James says. “Holy shit. Um.”
“Oh god. James, we’re so, so sorry,” Remus said. “We didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”
“No, don’t be,” James said. “I’m sorry I— Sirius, are you ok?” Sirius’ whole body was shaking and his face was as white as a sheet.
“Sirius?” Remus said, turning towards him. Sirius just shook his head and bit his lip, hands trembling uncontrollably. “Come here, love,” Remus whispered. “Sit down. It’s going to be fine. I promise everything is going to be fine. Just breathe, Sirius.” James hurried towards Sirius and hugged him tightly.
“Sirius,” he said, pulling back and looking him dead in the eye, “it’s ok. I promise you, I don’t care. I don’t care if you like guys or girls or both or neither. I don’t care. You’re still my best friend. You’re still my brother. You’re still you.” Sirius nodded and he seemed to calm down a little. He closed his eyes for a moment.
“Try to breathe,” Remus said, softly. He was holding Sirius’ hand, tracing slow comforting circles in his palm. James smiled at their joined hands.
“So,” he said, as Sirius started to calm down. “You two are dating?” Sirius nodded and Remus said a quiet, “yeah.”
“So that means you’re gay too?” James added to Sirius. “Or bi? Or something else?”
“I… um,” Sirius started hyperventilating again.
“It’s ok,” James said quickly. “You don’t have to tell me anything.”
“No, no, it’s fine, I just…” Sirius closed his and took a deep breath. “I’m pansexual.” James was silent.
“I–I don’t really know—”
“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t know,” Sirius said, nodding. “It’s ok, though, I don’t mind explaining. Basically, it means I like people of all genders. Like… I like them for who they are regardless of gender. If that makes sense.”
“Yeah,” James said. “Thanks for telling me, Pads. And I’m really sorry that I… y’know, walked in on you and freaked you out.”
“It’s fine,” Sirius said. “We meant to tell you anyway, we just…” He glanced at Remus. James nodded.
“You–you really don’t mind this?” Remus asked, biting his lip.
“Of course not,” James said. “I love you guys. You’re my best friends and I want you to be happy. And if being together makes you happy then I’m happy for you— wait, fuck!”
“What?” they asked at the same time, looking alarmed.
“No, no, it’s no big deal. Just now I owe Evans five sickles.”
“What?” said Remus. “You were betting on… what?”
“I told her that I was worried about you guys because you kept sneaking around and disappearing and she said that you’re together but I didn’t believe her. So yeah, she bet me five sickles that you two are dating.”
“Damn, I thought we were good at sneaking around,” Sirius said, shaking his head and laughing.
“You were,” James said, “but Evans is… she knows everything.” A dreamy look came across his face and Remus and Sirius exchanged a smirk.
“Proud of you, mate,” James said, snapping out of his daze and clapping Sirius on the shoulder. “You too, Rem.”
“Thank you, James,” Sirius says, hugging him, “for… you know. Being so supportive. It really means the world to me.”
“No, you shouldn’t be thanking me,” James says, hugging him back. “I should be thanking you for sharing it with me. See, that’s the problem with our world. Well, one of the many problems but those are to fix another time. Moony, come here, it’s group hug time.” Remus rolled his eyes but smiled as he joined the hug.
“Okay, um, I’ll… let you get back to… you know,” James said, gesturing towards the bed. Remus goes redder than James has ever seen but Sirius grins. James leaves the dorm and goes back to the common room, sitting down next to Lily, who is holding out her hand expectantly. James high-fives her and she rolls her eyes and smiles slightly. He fishes five sickles out of his pocket and hands them to her. She cackles.
“I told you so,” she says.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re always right and I’m oblivious and dumb.”
“Come on, Potter,” she says. “Time to patrol the corridors.”
“Ugh, do we have to?” he asks, pouting.
“Yes, Potter we have to. Stop complaining, I’ve been doing this since fifth year. And my partner got replaced with an annoying little shit so—”
“Rude!” James said.
“But true,” Lily said laughing.
“Ever heard of a white lie, Evans?” James says, smiling and standing up.
---------
They cover half the castle while making jokes and laughing, not really paying attention to whether or not students were out of bed or not until Lily decides she has to bring it up.
“Potter, what’s up?” she says.
“What?”
“What’s bothering you?”
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter,” he said, shaking his head.
“Come on,” Lily said, poking him in the side. “I helped you with the last thing, didn’t I? You can tell me.”
“Ok. It’s just… when I walked into the dorm they were kissing. And then Sirius saw me and he completely freaked out. Like he really thought that I wouldn’t be ok with it. He really thought I would hate him or something. And… I don’t know. I mean, after everything he still doesn’t trust me?”
“James…”
“It’s stupid, I know. This isn’t even about me. And I’m not trying to make it about me, I swear. I just… I don’t want Sirius to feel like he can’t tell me stuff. He’s my best friend. I tell him everything and I want him to feel like he can do the same with me. I don’t want him to keep secrets from me because he’s afraid that I’ll hate him because of it.”
“Ok, first of all, it’s not stupid at all. I get what you’re saying. But you have to understand where Sirius is coming from, too. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you. He would trust you with his life, James. He does. But usually, it’s the people we love and trust the most that it’s hardest to come out to. Because we think they’ll accept us but there’s always the chance that they won’t, you know? And if they don’t, how do you keep going from there? It’s taking a big risk. Sirius just wasn’t ready to risk his friendship with you. It means too much to him. Trust me, James, it was the same for me when I came out as bi. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you. It’s that he loves you too much to be ready to risk it.” James’ eyes were watering. He turned away so Lily wouldn’t see as he blinked them away.
“You really think so?” he asks quietly.
“Yeah,” she said. “But you can ask him if you want. Ask him if you can talk about it.” James nodded.
“Thanks, Evans.”
“Any time, Potter.”
“You called me James before.”
“So what if I did?”
“You never call me James.”
“I know,” she says. “Don’t get used to it.” Then after a moment, she adds, “I still can’t believe you didn’t know they were dating. I mean you literally spend all of your time together, you share a fucking room with them for Christ’s sake.”
“How did you know?” James asks. “Did they tell you?”
“God no,” Lily says, shaking her head. “You really think they would tell me and not you?
“I suppose not,” he replies. “How did you know then?”
“Well Potter, see I have these things in my head called eyes that I use to see. And then the things that I see go to my brain, where I string two and two together. Although, I suppose you wouldn’t know about that seeing as you don’t have a brain.”
“Oh, very funny,” James says, rolling his eyes. “Really witty. Your jokes are worse than Sirius’ puns.”
“Now that’s just mean.” And they both laugh. Lily has to bite her lip to keep from sighing. Ugh, his laugh is just too cute! she thinks. God, this is so stupid! Lily knows that James likes her. She knows that. And she likes him too. So what’s holding her back? She thinks for a moment and then the answer comes to her. Nothing. In this moment in time, right now, nothing is holding Lily back. She stops walking.
“Evans?” James asks, stopping as well. “Why’d you stop? Is everything ok? ” She leans forward slowly, not breaking eye contact with James. Lily waits until she sees the realisation grow in his eyes as he realises what’s about to happen and then she kisses him. Her hands find the back of his neck and she pulls him closer as she feels his hands in her hair. And then his hands are on her cheeks but only for a moment before she feels him pull away; he’s looking her dead in the eyes.
“Is this another joke?” he asks. “Because if it is it’s not funny.” Lily shakes her head quickly.
“No, it’s not a joke,” she says. “I swear, it’s not a joke.”
“Really?” he asks, his hazel eyes lighting up.
“Really,” she replies, smiling warmly. “I just really wanted to kiss you because… I like you, Potter.”
“Is this a dream? I mean, it’s gotta be a dream, right? Because there’s no way you just—” Lily laughs.
“No, Potter, it’s not a dream,” she said. “I really do like you and we really just kissed.”
“I— I… wow,” James said. “I mean, you know I like you, Evans, I’ve liked you forever. I just never thought I’d be lucky enough for you to like me. I mean…” James sighs and cups Lily’s face with his hands. “I love you, Lily. I mean, you probably already knew that but… I wanted to say it anyway.” Lily smiles warmth spreading from her cheeks to the tips of her fingers.
“I love you too, James,” she said, moving her body into his.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks.
“Yes,” Lily nods. And he does. Lily’s heart raced in her chest as James’ lips connect with hers and she tangles her fingers in his fabulous hair.
a/n: the part where James says that he should be thanking Sirius for coming out to him and not the other way around is based on my friend’s reaction when i told her that i’m bi. so yeah she deserves credit for that cause she’s the best
also regarding the part where sirius explains pansexuality to james,, please know that i am not pan and the explanation is something that i found on the internet. obviously, every pan person has a different experience but i hope i portrayed this fairly. if something doesn’t sound quite right to you please let me know because i dont want to spread a wrong image of pansexuality! thanks
#james potter#james potter fluff#lily evans#lily evans fluff#remus lupin#remus lupin fluff#sirius black#sirius black fluff#moony#padfoot#prongs#jily#jily fluff#jily fanfic#jily fanfiction#jily oneshot#james x lily#lily x james#wolfstar#wolfstar fluff#wolfstar fanfic#wolfstar fanfiction#wolfstar oneshot#remus x sirius#sirius x remus#mary macdonald#marlene mckinnon#dorcas meadowes#alice fortescue#marauders
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Quarentine - 1
They always say ‘buy the worst house on the best block that you can afford’ and god knows this place was a total shit hole. 1200 square feet on an overgrown lot surrounded by McMansions. Hell, I paid less for the place that the land was worth. I’m amazed someone hadn’t bulldozed the place years ago.
To make a long story short, I did not look a gift house horse in the mouth.
I mean, it wasn’t a total write off. None of the windows were smashed. There were mature fruit trees in the backyard. If you ignored the weeds and rotting fruit, there was a lot of potential. The plumbing was lead pipes and the electrical was knob and tube, but I know people and I could trade favours to get that replaced. The foundations were good and the roof barely leaked.
I spent the summer camping in a tent in the back yard and slowly getting the place winterized enough that I could move it.
It was still a creepy ass house when I did. It had a boiler. I had no idea how to deal with that, but I was learning. And I learned how to ignore the whistles, hissing and banging sounds that went with having a boiler. The old rads were cast iron with pretty little details in the corners.
There were holes in the plaster, but I just ignored them. It wasn’t worth fixing when I was going to gut the place and put up drywall eventually. It just made it easier to get at the plumbing.
I started just living in the kitchen and ignoring the rest of the house. I had disconnected the rest of the electrical and plumbing and was using that as a home base while I renovated outwards from there.
There is nothing quite as creepy as sleeping in a sleeping bag on what were probably asbestos tiles in an old house that makes the weird noises that old houses make. I kept reminding myself that they only seemed louder than normal because the place was empty and there was nothing to muffle the sound. The shrieking had to be the upstairs window that didn’t quite shut properly.
I had the feeling that something was watching me and prayed to god it wasn’t rats.
I was in this for the long haul. Get up, shower at the gym, go to work, come home, renovate until it gets dark, shower at the gym, camp out in the kitchen. Not exciting, but satisfying. Let’s face it, this was the only way I was ever going to be able to afford a house.
When the work from home order came, I had to actually get a phone line installed so I could have internet access. Me, my laptop and a kitchen table I rescued from the curbside a while back.
The creepy feeling was worse. I told myself it had to be the isolation kicking in. I skyped with my best friends at night to make up for it. The power was still a bit dodgy and kept going out, but that’s what laptop batteries and cell phones are for, right?
I was sure the cough was from the dust.
The guy delivering groceries left them on the sidewalk instead of the porch. It was fine. I understood completely. I hadn’t done much work on the outside of the building at all.
I realized I was sneezing a bit when I started having to use toilet paper as kleenex.
I was fine. I was young and healthy. I didn’t have any sick days at work so I was determined to just push through.
I tried to get more rest.
I dreamed about something laying a cool hand on my forehead.
The grocery store was out of thermometers.
I mean, did it really matter if I had a fever? I wasn’t leaving the house to share with anyone.
My cough got worse overnight. I was vaguely aware of someone lifting me up and holding a cup of cool water to my lips. I was so fucking thirsty.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I mumbled. “I don’t want you to get sick.”
“I won’t,” a rumbling voice assured me.
I didn’t remember making soup, but I jolted into awareness sitting at the table with a steaming bowl in front of me. Chicken noodle out of a can. It’s not that hard to make. I’m sure I could add water and heat in my sleep. Apparently, I just did.
I was so cold that night. I don’t know where the extra blankets came from, but they were there in the morning.
I don’t know how I ordered a bed while I was sick, but it was there and on my credit card. So was the mattress and sheets. It must have been the fever talking when I ordered them. I would not have picked out anything that old fashioned looking.
How did I get all this stuff up to the second floor bedroom? I’m sure I don’t remember stripping the paint off the closet doors. I must be losing my mind. I slept, I ate, I stopped logging in at work. I just needed to concentrate on getting better.
By the time I was able to stay awake for more than an hour at a time, the city was shut down. I was confined to my house whether I liked it or not. I was suddenly glad my fever addled brain had ordered a bed while I still could.
The watched feeling was worse. I ordered some rat traps with my groceries. I didn’t catch anything. They didn’t take the bait. I swear I heard snickering when I checked them in the morning. That was a new sound for the boiler to make.
“I am losing my mind,” I repeated to myself. Then blushed when I realized I had said it aloud. “And yes, I also talk to myself,” I added for good measure. “At least it is some sound,” I muttered. “I should turn on some music or something.”
Work was officially shut down but I still had the dumpster outback. I spend my awake time cleaning out the other rooms. The advantage of living in a construction zore was all the dust masks. When I needed to actually go out, that might help. In the meantime, I carefully sorted through the things the previous owners had left behind. Some of it was just trash, but there were some old photographs, lost buttons, even a single antique earring.
“No chance of finding a pair, I bet. Still this could be made over into a necklace or something.” Shit. I was talking to myself again, wasn’t I?
I still got tired easily. I dreamed about my mom stroking my hair as I slept.
The footprints I couldn’t explain away.
I had taken down a section of wall and spent the day carrying out the chunks of plaster before microwaving a pizza pop and tucking in early. In the morning there were footprints in the dust. They weren’t mine. They were huge and it was hard to believe they were human. Weird long toes, with the claw tips a little in front were not what I was expecting.
That was the first time I had wanted to leave the house.
I grabbed my stuff and made it to the front yard before I was spotted by a passing patrol car and ordered back inside. I had no idea how to explain that I thought there was some sort of monster living in my house. I was shaking as I went back inside.
“Hello?” I called from the doorway, ready to run. I had no idea where I could even run to. “Um… Is anyone there?” I don’t know what I was expecting. “Hi? Um …. I bought the house, I didn’t know there was any … thing living here. I have been trying to fix it up.”
“I know.”
Fuck. The scratchy, rasping bass voice was not what I was expecting. “I … uh… I can go back to camping in the yard,” I suggested.
“No.”
I waited to hear if he (?) was going to say anything else.
Apparently not.
“Uh … no I can’t stay here? Or no, you don’t even want me camping in the backyard?”
“If I didn’t want you here, I would have had many opportunities to get rid of you.”
Shit. That wasn’t ominous or threatening at all.
With a low chuckle the voice asked, “Did you mean to say that out loud?”
I froze and tried to remember what I had said. Oh. “No, that was an accident. I’m not used to having anyone around to hear me.”
“I always hear you.”
I closed the door and went out to sit in the garden for a moment to think about that. I ended up pacing, swearing and wishing for a cigarette. I hadn’t smoked in years. The sun started to go down and the bugs came out. I was being eaten alive outside. Going inside was scary but he was right. He had lots of time to …
I flung open the door. “Did you order furniture on my credit card?” I demanded.
The laughter that rang out was a whole other level of creepy. I shivered and thought about going back outside. The door pulled itself closed behind me. I spun to look at it and didn’t see anything. I could hear something breathing. I turned again. Nothing.
“If we are both going to live here, can we at least agree on some ground rules?”
“Like what?” was almost purred in my ear. Looking around wildly, I still couldn’t see anything.
I was shaking now. “Is there a way for you to be less scary so I don’t have a heart attack?” I squeaked.
There was nothing but silence. Still my sense of the presence suggested it was gone.
I didn’t sleep that night. I would just start to nod off then jerk myself awake and look wildly around the room. I never saw anything.
Six am, my alarm went off and I could smell coffee.
All the dust had been swept up.
“Hello?” I whispered.
Nothing. I had coffee and cereal and tried not to think about my surprise roommate. I was so tired, I passed out at my computer in the kitchen at some point that morning, only to wake in bed upstairs in the afternoon. “I don’t want you to touch me while I’m sleeping,” I mumbled, painfully aware that there was dick all I could do to stop it.
“Alright,” the voice said, coming from somewhere in the direction of the closet. “But don’t fall asleep at the table then.”
I breathed a faint sigh of relief. I wasn’t expecting the next part.
“You need to eat something now. You are still recovering.”
There was a can of soup heating on the stove. My breakfast dishes were gone. I found them clean and dry in the cupboard. “Thank you,” I whispered. He didn’t reply. As I ate lunch, I was psyching myself into going upstairs to look in the closet. The door had been painted shut when I got the house, but at some point had been stripped down to the bare wood.
I hadn’t worked up the nerve by the time I was done eating. Or washing and drying the dishes. I found myself at the bottom of the stairs staring up at the second floor. Did I really want to see what was in that closet?
No.
But it would be better to look during the light of day.
Eventually, I made it up there. I put my hand on the knob and tried to turn it. It didn’t budge.
“You want rules?” the voice growled behind me. I spun, there was nothing there. “Do not open that door. Do not come into my space.”
I went from trembling from nerves to bolting down the stairs in an instant. I nearly tripped, but felt something - him? - catch me and set me on my feet.
“Careful,” he purred.
I spent the rest of the day in the garden again. I was still out there when the sun went down and the back light turned on. Then the kitchen light and for a moment I could see something outlined against the antique curtains I hadn’t replaced in the kitchen. I tried to remind myself that he wasn’t necessarily that big. He might just be closer to the light and casting a bigger shadow.
I didn’t believe it, but I tried.
I crept back into the house like a scared child who wasn’t sure how angry their parents were going to be after they had done something wrong. I turned on all the lights on the main floor and stayed in the kitchen away from the stairs.
“Planning on staying up all night?”
I jumped. “How are you always behind me?”
“I live in the shadows. Go to bed.”
“Um… I was thinking, that should be your room, really. Your closet. You picked out the bed. I can just camp down -”
“No. Go to bed.”
“Do you really think I’m going to be able to sleep in a room with a closet that must not be opened? I have read Blue Beard, you know.”
“So have I. The wife gets the house and lives happily ever after.”
“The last wife does,” I pointed out. “The first dozen or so didn’t.”
He chuckled at that. “We made a deal, remember?”
“Are you teasing me? What deal?”
“I don’t touch you in your sleep. You don’t sleep in the kitchen anymore.”
“How big are you?”
The lights flickered and went off.
“Do you want to see me?” he purred, so close that I could feel his breath on my neck.
“Not in the dark,” I squeaked.
“Go to bed.”
The light snapped back on, leaving me blinking.
I spent the night sitting on the bed with my back pressed against the headboard trying to see the whole room at one. Eventually, I fell asleep.
My alarm did not go off at six. It had been turned off. The coffee was ready but not turned on when I went down stairs. The air smelled faintly of solder. There was a post-it stuck to the coffee maker. Fine copperplate handwriting told me:
I have replaced the plumbing
I stared at it dumbly. I had replaced the plumbing to the kitchen sink and the downstairs powder room and had been washing out of the sink since I had been forced to stay home. The only other plumbing was down to the washing machine in the cellar and the upstairs bathroom. I pushed the button on the coffee maker and slowly crept upstairs.
Sure enough the stack of copper pipe waiting in the other bedroom was gone.
Well, not gone. I could see it installed through the holes in the walls. I turned on the tap to the sink and sure enough, I had water. I now had an upstairs, working bathroom with a clawfoot tub.
And no walls.
“I don’t like the idea of you watching me bathe,” I called out. Then I felt like an idiot because if whatever it was had voyeur tendencies, it could have been watching me for months. I tried all the taps and the toilet. Everything worked.
“Thank you,” I mumbled, unsure if I was talking to myself.
“You’re welcome.” It was the least creepy, most normal thing I had heard from him.
----
When I got back downstairs, there still wasn’t coffee but there was a new note:
Humans who do not sleep start to hallucinate
I crumbled it up, threw it across the room and jabbed the on switch on the coffee maker. Nothing happened. I growled as I plugged it in. The power went out.
“Oh come on! Withholding coffee is cruel and unusual punishment!”
“Sleep.” It sounded like the whole house had murmured that last bit.
I wish I could say I handled it gracefully, but I didn’t. I stomped back up to the bedroom like a petulant child.
I woke to bright sunlight streaming in through the window. The house was quiet and it felt empty for the first time in days. I had a bath and washed my hair and I felt better than I had in days too. Clean and dry and dressed, I bounced into the kitchen to try and turn on the coffee again only to see my laptop snap shut.
It was with a lot of trepidation that I opened it. I was expecting a ridiculous online purchase which is why I stared dumbly at the screen unable to process what I was seeing.
It was a CGI woman with her hands tied to something over her head being railed by a monster who was fingering her clit with one hand and fondling her breasts with the other while her belly distended in rhythm with his thrusts.
“Ugh! Dude! You can NOT watch porn on my laptop!” I shrieked as I frantically tried to close the window.
“Would you rather I watch you?” he asked calmly from somewhere to the left of me.
I breathed out a shaky breath. “OK. Let’s talk about private browser windows and how not to get a computer virus.”
When I got to the end of my tentative explanation, I asked, “Do you need … some alone time?”
There was another house shaking howling laugh.
“Is that a yes or a no?”
“You need to eat.”
That brought up a whole other issue. “Do you? Eat I mean. Do you eat? What do you eat?”
“Don’t worry about me. I am not going to eat you. Unless you ask nicely.”
I blushed even further but got out a pan and a skillet meal from the fridge.
I spend the rest of the afternoon weeding the garden. I came in when it got dark, heated up my leftovers from lunch and tried to figure out what to do with myself. The nap had meant that I wasn’t tired for the first time in days.
I wondered what he would do if I watched a movie. I hunted through the cupboards and found a bag of microwave popcorn from before the virus started. Right! I thought. Bowl of popcorn, a movie, skype with a few friends. Pretend none of this was happening.
I wasn’t surprised when the lights went out. That was just a thing now. My computer was still illuminating a bubble around me and B99 was still hilarious.
I wasn’t expecting the bed to dip next to me. That once again raised the question of how to deal with him around others. I hit the mute button. “What are you doing?” I asked icily.
“Not touching you. What are you eating?”
“Human food.”
“Hmmm.”
I unmuted my computer to answer Penny’s question about how stir crazy I was going.
“12/10 on the looney toons scale,” I offered.
She just laughed.
All of the popcorn was gone.
“Ah hell.”
“What’s wrong?” Penny asked.
“All my popcorn is gone,” I grumbled. I didn’t add that I had more than half a bowl left a moment ago. Not eating me, I reminded myself.
“That sucks. Need to pause and get more?”
“I don’t have anymore.”
She just laughed, “But do you still have toilet paper and hand sanitizer?”
I chuckled, “Toilet paper, at least.”
“I should go. It’s getting late,” she said with a yawn.
“Yeah. Good night.” After Penny signed off, I just let Netflix autoplay the next episode.
“Do you need to sleep?” The whisper seemed to come from the direction of the closet but the bed was still dipped under his weight on my other side.
My heart leapt to my throat. “How many of you are there?”
“Just me,” he purred too close to my ear. I flung myself away from him and toppled out of bed. Two hands caught me.
Two other hands caught my laptop.
I stared as it was placed back on the bed a little way in front of me. The hands on my arms were cool and smooth. “What are you?”
“I am me. I have not asked your name. You will not ask mine.”
“My name is on the mail. And my credit card. You know my name,” I pointed out keeping my eyes locked on the screen, fighting the urge to look around.
“Nonetheless.”
This wasn’t going to work, but I had to try. “I would like to be alone now.”
The bed shifted as the weight was removed from the side. The black shadows that could be fingers moved from my computer. The voice said, “Good night” from the direction of the closet.
I sat frozen. “In the morning, I’m moving the bed to another room.”
“Why?”
“Because the closet is yours and it’s scary being here with you,” I admitted.
“I have never done anything to harm you.”
“You scare the shit out of me multiple times a day.”
There was a long pause before he replied, “And yet you haven’t left.”
“The city is on lock down. I can’t leave.”
“Hmm.”
I jumped as my laptop snapped shut. I fumbled in the dark trying to find it on my bed, “What are you doing?” I demanded.
“Taking this downstairs. I will not bother you tonight.”
“What-” I started to say, then snapped my mouth shut as the realization that this may be his ‘alone time’.
This time the “Good night,” came from the bedroom door.
In the morning the only thing in my browsing history was netflix. This was less comforting since I had shown him how to clear the cache. I told myself at least the keyboard wasn’t sticky.
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Pre-Fall fic idea for a slow day: Echo asks McCree to go on a date. Liao thinks it'll be a good learning experience for her.
“...I dunno about this...” McCree straightened the collar on his shirt. Why did he dress up for this? Why did Liao feverishly take notes on her tablet when she saw he dressed up for this?
“I think it’s a great opportunity,” said Liao, poking at her tablet.
“See the way you’re gettin’ all excited about it makes me feel like a guinea pig.”
“Echo likes you. She trusts you. This is a chance for her to rapidly expand her social interaction repertoire.”
“It’s still weird.”
“How is it weird?”
“Well... how does it work with the age thing?”
Liao snorted. “What?”
“I mean she just got the body! Don't that make it... y'know...”
“The frame is new, yes, but the bare bones of her coding are only a couple years younger than you,” Liao said breezily, “Her processing levels were miles beyond yours well before she even had a body.”
“Ouch.”
“It’s computer science, Jesse, it’s nothing personal.”
“Why’d you give her hips?”
“Well, controlling said body actually has massive processing demands on its own, so you could say what could be recognized as her pelvic region hosts an 'auxiliary AI core'--"
"There's a brain in her ass?"
"Arguably, humans have a secondary brain in their colonic region--"
"There's a brain in my ass?!"
"We're getting off topic. There's a secondary AI core focused on mechanical coordination that is housed in her pelvic region, it was large enough to warrant certain design shifts to suit her center of gravity, and I wanted a friendly and appealing silhouette so --” Liao perked up, “So you noticed the hips?”
McCree’s face burned and he glanced off.
Liao rolled her eyes and smiled. “Jesse... if this goes really badly, I can just erase it from her memory.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“I’m only saying, the stakes aren’t that high,” said Liao, "I think it's cute that you're getting nervous."
"Nervous, hell! I just don't know what to make of it!"
"You've had plenty of perfectly pleasant conversations with her--"
"They weren't dates!"
"Did you just say yes because you didn't want to hurt her feelings?" the brightness and absolute lack of accusation in Liao's voice only unsettled McCree further.
"N-no..." McCree rubbed the back of his neck, "I--I wasn't really thinking. I guess... I assumed you'd think I'd wreck it or... or wreck her and you'd... write it out of her code..."
"Interesting..." Liao tapped her tablet stylus on her chin.
"I ain't that good with sciencey shit! Reyes brought me on to shoot things!" McCree shrugged a little helplessly, "And the way you talk about her, I don't know if she's a--a work in progress, or-or your kid so..."
"A little bit of both. This is where AI gets messy," said Liao with a smile, "You don't know if you're making something human... but you get to make something new."
McCree just stared at Liao for a few seconds, opened his mouth to say something, realized he had no idea what to say to that, and then closed his mouth.
"It's going to be wonderful," said Liao, gently putting a hand on the back of McCree's shoulder.
"Wait--Is there anything I should---?" McCree started but the door slid open and Liao more or less shoved him out into Zurich Headquarters' courtyard gardens. It was twilight, Friday night, and strings of fairy lights had been strung around the sycamores, magnolias, and plum trees that decorated the garden. A couple of brightly colored paper lanterns were strung along the lines of electric lights, giving the usual contemplative and monumental air of the garden a more warm and festive feeling. McCree scanned the garden, seeing a table set with candles and a small basket of bread about 15 feet ahead of him.
"Jesse?" McCree heard a familiar voice and swiveled on his heel to see... a glowing blue-white Dolly Parton circa 1974 in a daisy-patterned peach sundress.
"Whuh..." McCree's face scrunched up in confusion.
"Is this okay?" Dolly Parton spoke with Echo's voice and McCree visibly flinched again. "Oh you don't like it--" The glowing Dolly Parton pressed her fingers to her forehead. "Give me a moment! I can fix it!"
"Echo--?" McCree started, but holographic pixels spiraled around the not-Dolly Parton and reshaped her into.... Olivia Rai, her usual afro styled into the more-textured Gibson Girl hairstyle she sported in Six Gun Killer.
"What about this?" said Echo, "Is this all right?"
"I mean I like the movie but--" McCree started but the pixels whirled around Echo.
"Lee Byung-Hun, 2016, Magnificent Seven," said Echo. “My scans of your hormone levels showed an overwhelming positive reaction to him.” Again, this hologram form was still in the sundress.
Okay we really need to talk about the scanning thing, thought McCree, but he just stammered out, "They're all really nice, Echo, but you don't have to--" McCree rubbed the back of his neck, "I mean, I think we'll both be more comfortable if you're... you, y'know?"
"Me? But it's so..." 2016 Lee Byung-hun Echo twiddled her fingers nervously, "It's so..."
"It's the you I know," said McCree, shrugging, "I like it, Echo, really."
The hologram fell away from Echo in a shower of cubic pixels, revealing a partially holographic head on a heavily modified omnic frame. She was a patchwork between a handful of standard omnic parts and sleek parts whipped up on-site at this point. No wings. The sundress sagged a little off her metal frame.
"There you are," said McCree.
Echo smiled a little. "Sorry... the hologram capabilities were for optimal interfacing... so I thought..."
"I get it," said McCree with a smile, "I was a little nervous too."
"You were?!" said Echo, "But you're so... charming! And my scans of your antibodies revealed that it was very statistically likely you have had higher than average amounts of--"
"Hoookay! Moving on!" McCree said quickly.
"Moving on," said Echo, processing this.
There was the sound of a cybernetic throat being cleared and both McCree and Echo turned their heads to see Genji in a long-sleeved collared shirt, black vest, bow tie, and apron.
"Genji?" said McCree, suppressing a laugh in his voice.
"...not a word," said Genji.
"I know I got stuck as the waiter back in Venice but this is--"
"I said not a word!" said Genji, furiously. He drew in a steadying inhale. "Ma'am and sir. If I may direct you to your table."
"...oh this is rich--" McCree started.
"McCree, I know 37 ways of killing you in under 11 seconds, do not test me," said Genji.
"Uh huh," said McCree, "Show us the way, Garçon."
Genji muttered something under his breath in Japanese as he lead them to the table. McCree hurried over to Echo's side and pulled out her chair for her.
"Oh--Thank you!" said Echo, sitting down.
Genji rolled his eyes as McCree took his own seat. "Liao was able to negotiate with the headquarters chefs,” he said, setting glasses of water on the table, “You're getting chicken scallopini and asparagus."
"So there's not a menu--?" McCree started.
"You're getting chicken scallopini and asparagus," said Genji, with about as much murder as anyone could inject into the words 'Chicken scallopini and asparagus.'
"Okay," said McCree meekly as Genji walked off briskly.
"Er--don't mind him," said McCree as Genji walked off, "Blackwatch suspended... getting antsy, y'know."
"I don't," said Echo, equally pleasantly and blankly.
McCree cleared his throat and grabbed some bread from the basket between them, buttering it. "Well... You heard about the Venice incident, right?"
"I did not," said Echo, "I'm quarantined from most networked systems."
"Mm," McCree took a bite of his buttered bread, "Well... the long and short of it is, we fucked up."
"Not you!" said Echo on reflex.
"Well, not me, at first--but we had to follow through on the fuck-up if we were going to get out of it alive," said McCree with a shrug.
"I'm sure you did your best," said Echo, picking up a piece of bread. They both knew she couldn't eat, so instead, she seemed to be using it as something to do with her hands, breaking it off into bits.
"Eh, I don't think any of us were at our best," said McCree, "But... you do what you can, right?"
""Mm-hmm," Echo nodded, "Doctor Liao's been able to convince a handful of operatives to bring my AI processor on the orca with certain missions to observe, but my speech is disabled. Apparently it 'freaks people out.'" Echo glanced off resentfully.
"Not you?" said McCree.
Echo nodded. "And I know Morrison doesn't like me learning combat tactics."
"Echo, I can't think of anyone who loves humanity more than you," said McCree.
"Thank you, Jesse," said Echo. She was silent for a few beats. "And.... thank you for doing this. I--I don't know how you see me..."
"I'm still figuring that out too," said McCree, smiling a little, "But... I like to think I'm a good judge of character. And I'm proud to know you. And I'm proud that I mean enough to you to be here."
Echo's hologram face brightened, and she glanced off, a bit bashfully. "I--I can't even eat bread," she said quietly, smiling as she glanced down at the small pile of shredded bread bits on her plate.
"Psh. Bread. You can turn into whoever you want. Why worry about bread?" said McCree.
Echo snickered a little.
"...who's your favorite to turn into?" asked McCree, "I know you were turnin' into all that stuff earlier for me because of all the stuff we talked about and those dumb movies we watched--”
“I don’t think they’re dumb--”
“But... what about you? Is there a person you like turning into?"
Echo thought for a few seconds. "I would say...Figure skaters," she said thoughtfully.
"Figure skaters?" McCree repeated.
"Not any individual one, but I’ve been putting together a composite hologram of several of them," said Echo, "Skaters, they--they aren't ruled by the same physics as other humans. All that power, all that grace, all on a plane that does not have the same rules of speed or friction."
"Bet you'd be a hell of a dancer," said McCree, smiling.
"I like to think I'm learning," said Echo, with a slightly smug shrug.
"Chicken scallopini," a plate clanked unceremoniously in front of McCree and McCree flinched to attention to see Genji next to him.
"Jesus, man! A little warning next time!" said McCree.
"Ninja," said Genji flatly.
"What about her?" said McCree, pointing at Echo.
Genji looked at him like he was an idiot.
"Jesse, it's fine," said Echo. She waved her hands and a hologram of what appeared to be lobster thermidor glowed into existence in front of her.
"...she can take care of herself," said Genji, walking off, "Let me know if you need a refill on water."
"Don't mind him," McCree said again.
"I don't," said Echo, materializing a holographic fork into existence and taking a holographic bite of her holographic food.
McCree sectioned off bites of his own meal and took tentative bites and chews, but it was good. A faint 'Mm' fell out of him and he opened his eyes to see Echo closely observing him. He took another bite, not taking his eyes off of Echo this time. Echo seemed to do the same, imitating him. But it wasn't quite the same, he observed. There was a lot of Liao in her, the way she'd stuff food off to one cheek and slowly parse it out as long as she needed while she multitasked. He saw it in all the nights Liao had brought takeout to the lab. In this case, Echo perfectly adapted Liao's eating habits to McCree's.
McCree swallowed hard. "Do you ever uh... make food... make you happy?"
"What do you mean?" said Echo.
"Well, if you eat really good food, you go, like, 'mm' and stuff--if all the food is only stuff you come up with... how does that work?"
Echo thought for a few seconds. "I... never thought of food as stimulating the pleasure response. Mostly it just seemed necessary for interfacing. Does it stimulate a pleasure response?"
McCree tried not to focus too hard on the words 'Pleasure response.' "Well, it depends on the food," said McCree.
"Does your food stimulate a pleasure response?"
"I mean compared to the rest of the shit I've had this month? Definitely," said McCree with a shrug.
"I see," said Echo. She looked at her food for a few seconds. She took a bit of her own holographic meal and a deep, sensual "Mmnh," bloomed out of her, her shoulders bunching up and her head tilting back with the sensation.
McCree sharply inhaled, realized his mouth was full of chicken scallopini, and coughed and choked for nearly a minute.
"Did I do it wrong?!" Echo asked with alarm.
"N--" McCree coughed, "No--" He coughed again, "You're-- You're doin' fine--"
Echo giggled. “I--I’m sorry, I’m still deciphering the appropriate forms of human pleasure.”
McCree found his face burning again and just gulped down some of his water.
“...that was an odd thing to say,” said Echo, glancing off.
“Nah, I’ve been told I’m old-fashioned a lot,” said McCree with a dismissive hand wave.
“Well, that’s why I like you,” said Echo, shyly.
McCree’s chews slowed.
“You... feel solid. I know I can trust you to... to tell me what you think... but.. also to be kind. I don’t know what other people want from me, but I know you just want another person. And... you’re very open in terms of what that person can be.”
“Well I can tell you you don’t need to be Dolly Parton to win me over,” said McCree with a shrug and another bite of his food.
Echo giggled again and McCree swallowed.
“I’m still not sure if I’m doing this right,” said Echo, smiling down at her own hologram food.
“Eh, you don’t really think of it in terms of ‘doing it right’--it’s mostly just about both of you having a good time. And trust me, you’re a better date than a lot that I’ve had,” said McCree with a snicker, “I just hope I’m doing it right too, y’know? It’s a lot of pressure, being anyone’s first date.”
“Oh!” Echo perked up, “I never thought of it that way....”
“Am I doing it right?” said McCree with a slight lopsided smile.
“Hmm...” Echo seemed to genuinely and very seriously ponder this.
“Oh come on, you’re making me nervous!” said McCree.
“Current assessments are... positive,” said Echo, “More data may be necessary to confirm any findings I’ve drawn thus far. We may have to do this again. An experiment is useless unless you can replicate its results”
“So... second date then?” said McCree, “That’s generally considered a good sign.”
“Oh! So I’m good at this!” said Echo.
“Sure are,” said McCree with a snicker.
Echo beamed.
“Think we might have to do something other than dinner next time, though. I think if we try to get Genji in a waiter outfit again, he may actually kill me.”
“I estimate by his hormone levels and body temperature that there is an 89% likelihood of that occurring, yes,” said Echo. They both laughed for a little bit, and as the giggles died down Echo tilted her head. “So... you’ve been on bad dates?”
“Oh, terrible dates--but I don’t want to bore you---”
“It could be very useful data!” said Echo with that same brightness Liao had shown when she saw McCree being nervous.
McCree rubbed his chin. “Well... there’s a couple funny stories....”
-----
McCree was humming when he arrived in the Blackwatch sector later that night, bobbing his head and shoulders a bit with his humming as he loosened his bolo tie and took off his hat.
“Sounds like someone had a good time,” Reyes was seated in front of Blackwatch’s main monitor, mindlessly leafing through some paperwork.
McCree barely interrupted his own humming with an “Mm-hmm” as he kept walking past.
“Reyes, you really must find a way to end Blackwatch’s suspension, or I fear he’ll romance one of the custodian’s vacuuming bots, next,” said Moira, leaning against the desk next to Reyes.
“Eh, if it means getting Genji in a bowtie again...” Reyes shrugged.
“You will never get me in a bowtie again,” Genji seethed from a shadowed corner.
“You asked for a mission--” Reyes started, but cut himself off as the three of them watched McCree continue to walk and hum down to his own quarters.
“...by god, I think he actually had a good time,” Reyes said quietly.
“Madness is setting in,” Moira mused.
“We need to get out in the field again,” Genji said, his voice tense.
“Or maybe you just need a date,” said Reyes shrugging. Reyes heard the audible click of the shuriken plate on Genji’s arm as Genji’s shoulders tensed up. “...or not.”
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We interrupt the feral celebration of ousting an oligarch to bring you a story about Yeehaw and his Branch of Mystery.
It has been a while since we last had some co-worker drama, but man- has it been a weird summer. I mean... we all had a weird summer in 2020, but I don't think I was really expecting this particular... flavor of weird?
This is a story about Yeehaw, but it starts off with a story about Aggie.
Aggie was someone we were excited to hire and part of our excitement was that it's rare to find someone with prior floral experience and we'd concluded at this point that it does no one any good to be picky about new hires in the middle of a pandemic. So finding someone who knew the difference between a carnation and a rose was a big deal for us.
I say that in jest, but saying that we do 'on-the-job training' means that we've had to explain that yes- the flower in my hand that looks like a carnation is a carnation and not some other flower that looks like carnation but is not a carnation. Floristry is a very straightforward practice and for the most part a rose is a rose and a daisy is a daisy and if someone asks for those things, you give it to them.
The hard part is, as always, making them look good together.
Which is why we were pleased with Aggie- who previously did weddings for her friends and seemed to have a basic understanding of how to do things with her hands. We were happy to have her aboard.
... until you gave her criticism.
She made her vases embarrassingly short, and if you tried to tell her how to fix it, she'd snap back with "I'm not DONE yet."
She was done until you said something.
If you gave her an order for two dozen white roses, she would take it upon herself to mix white and yellow roses together 'because it looks better.'
It did not.
Hashtag: #selftaught
When a client asks for all white roses, there is likely a reason they asked for all white. Given that 90% of our work is funerals, it stands to reason that they are asking for all white because that is a traditional color for mourning. Working with a client means doing exactly what they asked for. Doing a wedding for your friends may get you high praise from people who trust you to work in the same aesthetic as them, but in a shop setting you are being paid to follow things to the letter. Doing so shows that you can follow directions, and they may come back next time.
You don't know customer entitlement until you've been torn another asshole for leaving out a single rose.
This seemed to never occur to her, and so criticism was a painful realization that perhaps she wasn't perfect at an art that was exceptionally susceptible to criticism. There were plenty of opportunities to make something in her own aesthetic, it wasn't like she was being stifled. There was a considerable amount of downtime where she filled the front cooler with her own creations- enigmatically giving each of them their own names like "Autumn Walk" or "First Snowfall." (This is not something that we do, on the whole.)
Not very many of those sold.
But I think what bugged me the most is that she only ever designed. She didn't take out the trash, she didn't answer phones, she never helped customers. She just... did flowers. Nothing else.
Oh... and the chatter.
"Do you travel? Oh, you simply MUST go to Bali sometime! You've never been to Asia? Well, there's nothing like achieving inner peace at a Buddhist temple on a mountaintop in Nepal. They have temples here in Ohio, but it's nothing like the real thing! You say you've never even been off the continent? Well, what are you waiting for? You only live once, you know!"
Ma'am... we're in the middle of a pandemic. Ma'am... I only get paid so much...
While trying to relate, I talked about my summer in Montana and she gave me the BIGGEST stank-face. "Montana? Ew, WHY?"
Look, lady- I lived on a mountaintop next to an active, world-destroying volcano system. If that's not cool, I don't know what is.
But thankfully, she only worked on weekends. See, this was her fun job. The job she does to stay social during a pandemic and flex her creative muscles while she makes money at her much more lucrative,but boring,HR job. So I only had to see her twice a month when I was manager on duty.
Then she got fired from her weekday job and went full-time at the flower shop. Poor thing wasn't used to waking up at 7am every day. She was full of suggestions.
"I think it would be easier for me if we only opened at like... 11am."
"Don't you think we should be taking proper photos of our work? All we would need is a nice camera and a soft lighting setup. Couldn't be much more than $1000."
"Oh I know! We should be doing inventory on tablets instead of writing things down!"
Okay, you go buy those things then. It took her about a week of making those suggestions to realize that she wasn't real clear on how things worked around here and stopped. She became quiet, less enthusiastic about her 'fun' job now that she wasn't immediately the star of the show.
Enter Yeehaw.
We were excited about Yeehaw, too. He didn't just have experience with flowers- he had experience with a flower shop. He gave a good interview, he seemed like he knew what he was doing and was very passionate about flowers. He was definitely an entire hippie, but about 1/3 of all plant people are. Most importantly, we still had like three spots to fill left from our pre-Covid staff.
Hired.
There was an overlap of about a week where Aggie and Yeehaw worked at the same time. His work was... immaculate. Just... astonishingly beautiful work. You didn't even have to show him how to make anything. He just... knew.
Well, Aggie didn't like that much- we had only nice things to say about this new guy but all she ever got was criticism. And if we complimented him on something he made, he would give a little 'namaste' bow. And I could see her fuming with rage each time he did this.
One day, she rushed into the back to take a phone call and any time someone went back there for a vase she would lower her voice as if keeping a deep secret. Twenty minutes later, she called Grandpa into the back as well to discuss something. Ten minutes later, Aggie left the building with her Live, Laugh, Love bag, looking pissed.
"Where did Aggie go," I asked Grandpa.
"She got a new job," she said. "Doing HR somewhere."
"She didn't even say good-bye," Blue said, appearing unsurprised.
And so we went on with out lives without really putting much further thought into Aggie, apart from the occasional 'you simply MUST visit Bali' line thrown in for bougie emphasis.
Which brings us to the next part of the story, and that is Yeehaw.
There are some details to know about Yeehaw that are kind of difficult to fit into a story neatly. Here is a brief list that may come in handy to know later.
-He lives with his mother.
-He drives a Tesla.
-He can afford the Tesla because he was in a terrible wreck that had him hospitalized, and a lawsuit was won.
-Because of this, he has two screws in his head at the temples.
-Unrelated, he has hair that goes all the way down to his back.
- And...
"Grandpa, we need to tell you something," Blue said. "In private."
Blue and Kali pulled Grandpa aside while Yeehaw slowly put together a funeral order. "Grandpa, there's no polite way to put this: Yeehaw is drunk as fuck."
"He smells like whiskey," Kali said.
"He's stumbling everywhere."
"And he won't stop... burping."
Grandpa paused. "There's something I need to tell you," she said, and she reached for a manila folder. "Yeehaw has something called... what's it called..." She leafed through the file and produced a paper, reading from it. "Auto-brewery Syndrome. His body actually produces alcohol anytime he eats bread or sugar. If he's drunk, it's because he can't help it."
We each had a chance to go over the doctor's note, verifying that yes- that sure does look official. Everyone had questions, but it did answer the one I had about why he was sitting in the break room literally drinking peanut butter from the jar.
So that was incredibly interesting and we no longer asked about the burping or why he was so slow.
However, the fact that he was so slow was extremely frustrating. Our average number of orders runs approximately 100 per-day. This can be eased somewhat when we have a full-staff with five designers- an average of 20 designs per person in an 8-hour day, 3 per hour.
But it's a fine line some days, and if one person cannot keep up it turns into a struggle for all of us.
We did our best to accommodate. We gave him all the day-ahead orders so that we wouldn't be behind and he'd have all the time he'd need to make his gorgeous pieces.
We were willing to make it work.
A number of factors came into play one day, but most notably: Yeehaw's Tesla wouldn't start and he had to take the bus. So he was late.
I think I saw him make one entire item in the two hours that we were in the same room. He went to lunch around 12:30, I took mine around 1:00. I saw him stumble back in from lunch, looking... out of it. Just... absolutely incomprehensible- mumbling, barely upright, his hair out of the bun, quite possibly sleepwalking- who knows?
I saw him for that brief Sasquatch moment... and that was the last that I saw him that day. It was around 4:00 that Grandpa asked the question:
"Where's Yeehaw?"
And no one had an answer. We all had places that we thought we'd seen him: cleaning the cooler, in the break room, heading to the bathroom... but no one had really... seen him since he stumbled back in around 1:30.
We checked all these places.
None of them.
The person who actually managed to find him was Sarge, who noticed his feet sticking out from behind the bushes behind the building.
"Huh," he said, presumably. He gave the feet a light kick and Yeehaw slowly sat back up. "Hey dude. You... okay, there? They're lookin' for you inside."
Yeehaw mumbled something to Sarge and got to his feet, stumbling back into the shop without further interaction. He appeared into the workspace, holding a branch in front of his face for mysterious reasons. There were still twigs entangled in his long hair.
"Where were you at," Grandpa asked, concerned.
"Oh, I was in the bathroom," he lied from behind the branch of mystery. "I'm pretty tired. Is it okay if I go home?"
Bewildered, Grandpa gave him permission to leave. It was soon after he left that Scout found his phone in the empty sink. "Who's trying to wash their phone," he asked in the loud manner that is characteristic of old white men. It rang while in his hand and one of our designers snatched it from him. It was his mother.
"Hello," said the designer. "Yeehaw went home early, but he left his phone behind. Can you bring it home to him?" Mom agreed, she was just over at Trader Joe's anyhow.
We thought, of course, that we were doing something smart and nice. Yeehaw's mom looks just about what you would expect the mother of a 30-year-old hippie that drives a Tesla to look. Grandpa, in a polite way, explained that he'd fallen asleep in a bush. To which Mom seemed neither surprised nor concerned about his behavior.
"Okay. I'll be at Hallmark."
Somewhere between the bus stop and Bexley, Yeehaw must have realized that his phone was not with him and so he came back looking for it. Despite his mother being literally in the same strip mall as we were, he seemed irritated that we'd taken the initiative to make sure his phone got to him.
"Well, I bet if you just went down to Hallmark she'd give you your phone and probably give you a ride home."
He mumbled something and then left.
This seems like a decent place to pause, because him leaving the second time in the day should be the end of the story. However... at 5:00 in the evening there was still two hours left in the work day and from past experience... that is plenty of time for a lot of things to happen.
The thing to happen was a phone call.
"Hi, this is Jade from the main store. We've gotten... some... interesting phone calls. Is there... a... hmm... is there a dead body out in front of your store?"
Pause.
"We'll take care of it, bye."
Who wants to be the one to poke the cadaver on the sidewalk? A volunteer from the audience! Ms Crowe: won't you come down?!
I have had it planted firmly in my mind that Crowe certainly understands the concept of fear but does not recognize it. Apart from being one of our most reliable drivers, she is also a performer, a street medic, an activist, and most notably... a fire-breather.
You have your hobbies.
Point is- she's brave enough to check to see if the person laying on the sidewalk was dead or simply overdosed.
As it turns out, it was Yeehaw- curled up in the fetal position with his arm covering his face.
"Hey," Crowe said, poking him with her foot. "Heeeeeeey," she said again but more firmly this time. He moved, blinking in the evening the sun. "Buddy, you can't be laying around on the sidewalk. You gotta move on."
Again, he slowly got to his feet. At this time, his mother emerged from Hallmark to see him talking with Crowe. A group of four people escorted him into Mom's car while he stopped every few feet to perform another 'namaste' bow.
You think this is the end. But what have we learned?
There's always more.
He came in the next day as if none of this had happened. Conversation was difficult because we both desperately needed to know what the fuck happened and also did not want to trigger something. So we didn't bring it up. He apologized for leaving early: chronic fatigue syndrome, you know.
Other places would have fired him, but we're a very forgiving workplace. Falling asleep on company time is not, in any way, the worst thing that someone has done at this location while still keeping their job. There was Sugar and her drugs, there was the dude that used the company van to pick up prostitutes (this was before my time), there was the guy that screamed at customers over the phone... it's a long list.
The primary concern of our employers is whether or not you are a reliable person. If you routinely show up for your job and do the work, you're going to be okay at least for a little bit. And Yeehaw, for all his impeccable fuckery, at least showed up every day.
We kept this at the back of our minds.
One day, after the Day We Found Him In a Bush was behind us, one of the designers mentioned that they'd seen where Aggie works now. It was not in HR.
It was our major competitor.
Now, Grandpa knows this competitor well. She knows all her competition. It is the nature of a lot of florists to, once they've gotten sick of one place, move on to the next one and spill the beans on their operations there. So Grandpa gets the dirt on everyone.
This particular shop was very regimented. You don't wing it- you follow the recipe as listed. He's been known to pick discarded flowers up off the floor and tell you exactly how much money you're costing the company by letting it fall, to the cent. If you get so far as to make casket sprays, he will take your first one and chuck it across the room if it even looks like the stems are in there too loosely.
This is what I mean about us being an easy place to work.
Hashtag: #ohfuck.
People come in and out of your life like that, in little ways. Sometimes you just have to have a little laugh at it. But what I thought was funny was that she felt the need to keep her new employer a secret, as though we would get jealous or tattle. Curious thing.
Now that the glamour of Yeehaw's arrangements had worn off, we were starting to see more and more odd behaviors that didn't seem completely related to drunkenness.
"Did you just fart?"
"No, that was a spider barking."
Amazing.
Conversation with him was becoming... difficult. As I sat in the break room with my quick lunch and he drank soup out of a mayonnaise jar, he mentioned his area of study in college.
"Cognitive Psychology and Hindu Philosophy, huh? That's an interesting combination."
"Yeah," he said, funneling an amount of squash soup down his throat. "It'll take the rest of the world about 100 years before they catch up to where I am."
I sat, posed in front of my beef and broccoli which I was eating with a fork, trying to process a logical reason why the rest of the world will be sleeping in a bush in one hundred years. "Uh... huh."
This was followed by another thirty minutes of silence where I desperately wanted to know what he meant by that but didn't want to be the one to ask him.
People will tell you that a hippie is generally an ineffective, benign kind of person who chants 'love love, peace peace' in a circle and consider that to be an action for change. But I can say with absolute certainty that I have met some downright egotistical hippies in my life. Those were lessons in bias- which I will have to save for other times.
Eventually, Grandpa became frustrated with his slowness. We presumed that his speed of choice was a combination of his meticulous nature and his various ailments, but with the Christmas season coming upon us it was becoming much more than a series of symptoms.
Previous persons who lacked speed were chatty, would play on their phone, or get distracted. But Yeehaw... Yeehaw simply moved like a tranquilized sloth. He slowly picked off each leaf, each thorn, each guard petal and took a minute for each action. He would put in his greens and then contemplate it powerfully for ten minutes before putting any flowers in... slowly.
In the time spent doing this, I had already made something of a similar size and was starting on the second one.
It was during one of these times that Grandpa finally said something.
"Yeehaw, that spray is due in thirty minutes. Is there a way you can go any faster?"
He looked up from his greens, held one carnation to his face, and said:
"If you wanted me to move faster, you would pay me better."
Let me start by saying that we do not get paid well. We don't. Compared to other flower shops in our city, we are probably the lowest-paid. This is something that the company is starting to work on with benefits and raises, but any amount of change takes time. (And its still better paying than when I worked in retail. But that's another book.)
Yeehaw had been here for exactly one month. I don't know a single workplace that gives you a raise after one month and still lets you sleep on the clock without firing you. He knew what he was getting paid when we hired him.
So anyways, he slowly grinds down our nerves to a very fine dust- burping, farting, falling asleep on his feet, staring intensely into space, talking about how much he should be making but isn't, bragging about his enlightenment, and generally just slowing down production.
And then Grandpa had her well-earned vacation week. Blue was in charge for the most part and the week leading up to Halloween is generally pretty slow, so it was a good week for her to have a break with few mishaps.
Eh... hehe. Yeah.
Yeehaw... disappeared again. We checked the cooler, we checked the break room, we checked the bushes out back, we checked the sidewalk out front.
He was in the bathroom.
So we left it.
He was still in the bathroom an hour later.
We had one of the male drivers pound on the door to check on him. When Yeehaw opened the door to the men's room, there was a wad of toilet paper on the floor that he'd been using as a pillow.
If I may pause here to explain- our men's room is disgusting. I have deep cleaned it several times only for it to become a germ-fest once more in a matter of hours. I don't ask who is peeing all over the floor because, honestly, I have no desire to know what grown man can't aim his willy in the right direction.
So in order to fall asleep in the bathroom, you have to be willing to sleep in pee. During a pandemic.
He reappeared in the workroom, put his apron back on, looked around at all of us still working and said: "Wow, it must be really hard to get fired here."
It was at this point that Blue informed Grandpa.
"Tell him that he's fired," Grandpa said, clearly 1001% done with this.
"I'm not going to fire him," Blue said. "I don't think I can fire anyone."
So she had the driver that found him do it, which was confusing for all of us. He ended up calling Grandpa to clarify. And by 'clarify,' I definitely mean 'beg for his job back.' A synopsis of the 20 minute phone call went like this:
"What do you mean, I'm fired?"
"Just that. You're fired. I'm tired of it, Yeehaw. You don't work here anymore."
"Why?"
"What do you mean 'why?' You spend all day making a total of three arrangements and then you wander off somewhere and fall asleep."
"I can't help it if I have chronic fatigue syndrome!"
"This is a physical job. If your body can't handle an 8-hour shift without falling asleep for two hours, this isn't the job for you. Tell me: where is that fair to the girls that you do 3% of the work while they pick up the slack and you wander off to sleep on the clock?"
"I simply do not care about them."
"You don't care that you're shoving all the work on your coworkers, and that's why you're fired."
"I wish you'd given me a warning."
"Tell me, Yeehaw: how many employers can you find that will allow you to sleep on the clock for two hours and let you off with a warning?"
End of discussion.
Now, you're probably wondering where Aggie comes back into this. Just hold tight, I'll get there.
The Sunday after he was fired, he came in to pick up his paycheck. I was busy handling a minor emergency where one of our funeral homes forgot to order a spray and I had to make one as fast as I could. We held a brief conversation while I made the spray in a hurry.
"I'm here to pick up my check," he said while I greened the spray and leafed through the paychecks simultaneously.
"Here you go," I said, handing it to him without much fanfare. I presumed that he was looking for sympathy or some kind of followup or... I don't know. Sorry you suddenly care about your job?
"So what are your next plans," one of the designers asked, trying to coax more information out of him while I did the work of three people.
"It's kind of funny," he said slowly... as he did all things. "I've only ever been fired from flower shops." He paused, thoughtfully. "I think I'm going to go apply to the shop in Bexley that Aggie went to."
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To Love Is To Let Go [A.B.]
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How can the heart and mind find a balance when love and yearning are mixed up with distance and responsibilities?
A/N: I’m so excited for you guys to finally read this! Another conversation about Tito with @itrocksmysocks made us create this story and I ended up writing it, so I hope you’ll like it!
Word count: 12219
Warning: A tiny bit of smut
.
“If you don’t go get that man I swear!” Adeline’s friend, Maya, exclaimed as she gave her shoulder a push.
They were out to celebrate together in Montreal because a month had now passed since Adaline moved there for her internship assisting a book editor, and it had to be memorable.
“Okay okay! I’m doing it!” The brunette adjusted her skirt, fixed a strand of her hair, and took a deep breath. “I’m going,” she said more for herself than anyone else.
The man across the bar had finally gotten up from the table he was at with his friends to order a drink, and that was the perfect opportunity for Adeline to go up to him. She might not get another chance during the night, so with an extra push from her friend, she found herself walking over to where he was.
“Hi,” she greeted him shyly, making him turn his attention to her. Her voice felt a little weak and looking straight into his blue eyes was more destabilizing than she thought it would be.
“Hi,” he replied as he waited, his tone suggesting she had to continue quickly if she didn’t want to lose his attention.
“I, uh,” Adeline struggled before getting a hold of herself again. She wasn’t a fifteen years old high school girl admitting her crush to a boy, she was a confident woman in a bar, and she was going to act like one. “I saw you sitting with your friends earlier and I figured now was a good time to come ask if I could get you a drink.” She let the sentence out without a hitch, and a little sense of pride filled her until his lack of reaction made her deflate. “Or not, it’s fine if not.”
“No, no,” he reassured her as a smile spread on his face. “I mean, yeah, you can get me a drink, if I can get your name,”
“Adeline,” she told him without hesitation.
“Adeline,” he repeated before nodding. “That’s pretty, I’m Anthony, but most of my friends call me Tito.”
With the introductions over, Adeline leaned against the bar beside him and the bartender came over to them. One drink soon turned into two, the alcohol was going down fast to erase the nervousness, but their conversation was flowing surprisingly easily. Nevertheless, three drinks were all it took for Adeline and Maya to be reunited in the bathroom.
“So?” She grilled her for the details while Adeline pressed her palms over her cheeks, trying to get herself to cool down.
“I really like him,” she admitted to Maya and shushed out her excitement immediately after. “But he could still be a weirdo, he’s too nice to be true.”
“Honey, he’s not a weirdo, he’s a professional hockey player,” Maya chuckled as she revealed everything she knew. “Why do you think he’s so hot?”
“How do you know?” A frown settled on the brunette’s face as she pieced everything together.
“He’s a NHL player, how do you not know?” Her friend countered and reached up to remove a small piece of fluff from her hair.
“Oh my god,” Adeline breathed out. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“It was sweet you didn’t know,” Maya shrugged. “Now go back out there and make him swoon.”
When they returned, Anthony was sitting at a small table by himself, and she didn’t hesitate to join. Maya was friends with one of the bartenders there, so it wasn’t like she minded being left alone.
“I figured it’d be more comfortable,” he explained as she took a seat. “Especially if we keep on going at that pace,”
“You figured right,” Adeline, put her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her hand. “My friend told me something interesting about you,”
“Should I start worrying?” He exhaled a nervous chuckle, but she shook her head almost imperceptibly.
“You play hockey?” She looked into his eyes to gauge his reaction. Maybe the alcohol was hindering her perceptiveness, but if she was right it looked like the question made him sad.
“Ah,” Tito’s nervousness settled but a sense of disappointment replaced it. “I kinda suspected you knew already,”
“I had no clue until five minutes ago, figured it was only fair to tell you,” Adeline told him the truth because she knew instantly that the kind of attention he got from being a professional athlete wasn’t necessarily the kind of attention he wanted. “Was it better when I didn’t know?”
“Yes and no,” he replied honestly. “Yes, because it meant you just liked me and not for shitty reasons. No because I wasn’t going to hide it anyway, and you didn’t know for the past hour, so I feel like we’re good,”
“Good,” she smiled. “Feel like having another drink?”
Tito wasn’t one to turn the offer down, and the two spilled things to each other that they would have never considered sharing with a stranger before. It was freeing to talk without boundaries, to be able to say anything on any subject and listen to someone else’s perspective of the world. Adeline thought he was interesting for someone so different. He was down to earth and witty, constantly making her laugh with the dumbest jokes, and maybe it was because she was drunk, but deep down she knew the butterflies and giddiness she felt weren’t from the alcohol.
“You’re so damn adorable,” Tito blurted out in the middle of one of her sentences, and silence fell onto their conversation.
Adeline stared at him while a smile spread on her face, but the cuteness of the moment was cut off by both of them bursting out laughing for no apparent reason. It was a fit of uncontrolled giggles at first, followed by an outburst of deep laughs that they thought would never stop.
“We’re so fucking drunk,” Adeline managed to squeak out through shakes of her chest.
“Yeah, you might wanna let go of this,” Tito reached to gently push her drink a few inches away from her hand, but his inhibitions were low and he underestimated his strength, sending the glass sliding all the way to the edge of the table.
Their eyes widened in shock when it stopped just before falling to the floor, and with that another fit of unstoppable laughter began.
It was something neither of them ever experienced that strongly, that connection with a stranger that made them feel like they had known each other their own lives. In the middle of their busy, messy lives, they had found a bubble of happiness and oxygen within each other.
It took several minutes for them to calm down, and when a relatively normal conversation resumed, Maya walked over to them to ask if she should leave on her own or wait for Adeline. Time had flown by and it was past one in the morning already.
“Five minutes?” The brunette barely looked away from Tito, and Maya took the hint.
“Well, before you go,” He waited until she had walked away to continue. “Can I ask for your number or do you have to be the one taking all the first steps?”
“You can have my number.”
.
Getting into the uber with Maya was a blur, all that Adeline knew was that she was feeling like a kid on Christmas eve after her night with Tito. She wasn’t drunk enough that she couldn’t make a sentence or walk, but definitely drunk enough to zone out and say everything on her mind no matter how stupid or embarrassing.
“Oh my god, he’s already texting?” Maya took the phone from her inebriated friend’s hands after it buzzed multiple times. “Damn,” she looked over the few messages they had started to exchange.
Adaline didn’t respond, only giggling drunkenly before getting her phone back and focusing on the screen to type another reply. Everything was a little bit blurry, especially in the moving car, but once it stopped in front of her building she sobered up a little.
“Drink some water before bed, yeah?” Her friend told her as she opened the door.
“Yep! Text when you’re home!” Adeline gave her friend a loud kiss on the cheek before getting out and somehow walking to the door without stumbling.
T: Fries would be sooooo good right now
The text came just as she kicked her shoes off while the door fell shut behind her. She groaned out loud at the idea, heading to her bedroom with her phone in hand.
A: Don’t talk to me about food I’m starving now
T: Make food?
A: I can barely hold my phone
Adeline struggled to take her clothes off and sighed in relief once she was finally naked.
T: What if I come over with fries?
A: Omg you would?
T: Address?
“Well shit,” she laughed to herself as she grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants, pairing them with a comfy t-shirt because she was too drunk and tired to put in an effort with sexy pajamas. She was pretty sure sex wasn’t an option for tonight anyway, they were both too drunk, it wouldn’t get anywhere.
Adeline sat on her living room floor to stay awake as she waited, her head lolling from side to side as she scrolled through social media, laughing and snorting out loud in ways she’d never do sober. It only took ten minutes for Tito to text he was there, and she jumped back up with renewed energy at the idea of food.
“My savior!” She exclaimed as she opened the door for him and saw the paper bag in his hands.
“Shh, your neighbors!” Tito laughed at her, letting himself in and giving her the bag before following her to the living room.
“Fuck Tito,” Adeline took in the smell of the fries as she opened one of the boxes and handed it to him. “I owe you big time,”
“They’re just fries,” he sat on the carpet with her. “But I’d take some ketchup,”
“Oh, yeah!” She crawled over to the fridge that was easily accessible since she had an open kitchen. The apartment wasn’t huge, but since the kitchen and living room were merged the living space was big enough.
“Mph,” Tito groaned as he stuffed fries in his mouth. “Best decision ever,”
“And does this look like a good decision?” She said to catch his attention, a bottle of tequila in hand.
“It looks like a terrible decision and I’m so down for it.”
Adeline sat on the floor with him, food, condiment, and bottle of tequila all within reach. She took the first gulp, big enough that it was worth more than a shot, and Tito followed her lead.
The rest of the night was erased from both of their memories.
When she woke up, Adeline felt her body ache in ways it rarely had before. She was still on the floor and there was a bad taste in her mouth as she opened her eyes. The paper bag that Tito brought over was on the floor along with two empty boxes that once held the fries. Tito himself was on the floor too, and his position looked more than uncomfortable, but his mouth was slightly parted, and his chest was rising and falling at a steady rhythm.
“Hey,” Adeline rasped out, nudging him with her foot. “You alive?” She asked as he stirred awake.
An unconvinced grunt reached her in response, and Tito brought his hands up to rub his face.
“Time?” He groaned, counting on her to have her eyes open.
“Eleven,” she pushed herself up and grabbed the counter while a wave of nausea washed over her. “Advil?”
“Fuck yes,��
Tito managed to get up too and downed two glasses of water with the pills Adeline handed him. They were both silent as they sat on the couch and took some time to really wake up. The apartment was on a low floor, and for the first time since she moved in, Adeline was glad for the lack of light that came from outside.
“I’m gonna make pancakes.” She eventually said, deciding breakfast was the only way her stomach would settle.
“Oh, so you’re going to beat me to every nice gesture?” Tito teased although he was glad he was about to eat. She gave him a look and he only smiled, leaning back more comfortably on the couch. “Jokes aside, this was the best night I’ve had in forever.”
“Me too,” Adeline hummed, already pouring milk into the rest of her ingredients and stirring. She cooked breakfast so often she could make pancakes with her eyes closed. “It was a lot more fun than any stupid party I’ve gone to lately,”
The conversation shifted to small talk after that, something to keep themselves busy as they got lost in thoughts. There was some unspoken communication going on, they obviously had chemistry, but they had only known each other for one night and they were already being so domestic it was scary for both of them.
It was clear they could build something together if they gave it a try, but Tito didn’t live in Montreal, and why the hell was Adeline even thinking so far ahead already? She tried her best to focus on cooking to get all of the ideas out of her head and stacked the pancakes in plates before bringing them over to the table.
“I want to eat these every morning for the rest of my life,” Tito almost moaned when he took the first bite of his food.
Adeline always kept maple syrup around, and this morning she even had some chocolate spread and strawberries left from this week’s grocery shopping. It made for an amazing breakfast.
“Thanks, I cook a lot,” she explained as she dug into her own food. “The cleaning up is the not fun part.”
“I hate dishes,” Tito nodded his agreement.
“A nice guest would offer to do them after I just cooked,” she pointed out to see what’d he’d say, and he put on his best angel face.
“Mmh, but a nice host would politely refuse that kind of offer,” he tried to serve his half ass excuse with a smile.
“Do you want more pancakes, or do you want to get kicked out?” Adeline gave him a murderous look in response, and Tito forgot to chew as he swallowed his next bite.
“Pancakes, definitely the pancakes. Promise I’ll do the dishes.”
.
When the Sunday ended, Tito went home and Adeline spent hours in a bath trying to set her mind straight. She liked him a lot, there was no denying that, but would they ever be able to make anything work? He was an amazing person and they had a great night together, but it didn’t mean he’d let himself fall for her too, especially since he lived in New York most of the time.
A sigh fell from her lips in the steam-filled bathroom, and she let her body slide down for her head to be submerged. The world turned silent and dark for a few seconds, it helped her empty her mind of all thoughts. When she pushed herself up with her feet and oxygen filled her lungs again, Adeline felt a little better.
Little did she know that Tito was dealing with the same dilemma in his own shower. He had tried to work out to sweat the hangover off, but seeing that the twenty minutes of running only worsened his headache, he didn’t take it further than that. It wasn’t really the hangover that was bothering him, it was the feelings he was catching for a woman he had known for less than twenty-four hours.
Was that what love at first sight was supposed to be like? Sure, it wasn’t exactly at first sight, Tito had only felt a connection with her the second she opened her mouth, not the second he saw her, but what even was the difference at this point? How could he even think of the word love? It was a crush at first sight at best.
No matter what they told themselves, Tito and Adeline couldn’t stop thinking about each other. Their constant texting the following days didn’t help either. The conversation was never boring enough to die, and when one of them fell asleep they picked up where they left off as soon as they were up in the morning. Sometimes, Adeline found herself giggling out loud because he reminded her of something he just remembered they laughed about when drinking tequila on her living room floor.
It was Wednesday when Adeline found herself in her bed wishing she could talk to him like they did a few nights prior. There weren’t many boundaries with Tito, they were obviously flirting and open about it, so she didn’t hesitate to tell him she missed seeing him. His name flashed on her screen a second later with a cute picture of his drunk face she didn’t remember taking Saturday night. He was smiling like an idiot, obviously still half laughing, and his blue eyes were sparkling with joy. Adeline hadn’t seen it, but she knew he had one of her too.
“Hello,” she said a little shyly when she saw her face on the screen. She looked like a bit of a mess.
“Hi beautiful,” Tito grinned from his bed, his short hair somehow messed up from the pillow.
“Shut up,” Adeline covered her face with her hand, but he only laughed on the other hand of the line.
“You know, it’s not fair if you get to see me and I don’t,” he reminded her to make her drop her hand. “I missed seeing you too.”
“Mmh, so when are we having a repeat of Saturday night?” She asked him because he had vaguely mentioned making plans during the day.
“Never,” he rolled his eyes. “That headache was killing me. We could do something else, maybe dinner?”
“Are you asking me out on a date, Beauvillier?” Adeline teased, hiding the way her heart jumped in her chest.
“Yeah, how do you feel about it?” His smile was as big as hers when he replied, confident she’d say yes based on the look on her face.
“I feel like I’m free tomorrow night and I’d love to go out.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven?” Tito thought of a restaurant to bring her to immediately, and he made a mental note to call for a reservation in the morning.
“It’s a date.”
.
Hugging Tito when he came to pick her up felt natural to Adeline. Butterflies erupted in her stomach the second he knocked, and her heart was ready to beat out of her chest when his arms closed around her.
“Hi you,” he kissed her cheek and she just about melted against him.
“Hi,” Adeline greeted him and let go before she made things awkward. “You look nice.” She complimented as she took notice of the navy shirt he was wearing. It matched the blouse she wore tucked in her tweed skirt. August wasn’t too cold in Montreal and she knew she’d be okay with tights.
“Thank you,” he smiled. “You look great too, I like your hair like that.” Tito had to stop himself from reaching up and touching it “Are you ready to go?”
Adeline murmured a quick thanks and nodded while her cheeks burned. She wasn’t easily intimidated but something about the prospect of a date with Tito was making her nervous. What if they didn’t click now that they were sober and seeing each other in person?
“Hey, everything okay?” Tito asked once they were both sitting in his car and Adeline still hadn’t said a word.
“Yeah, sorry, I’m just…” She coughed a little to clear her throat and he finished the sentence for her.
“Nervous?”
“Kind of.”
“Me too,” he admitted and glanced at her for a second, keeping his main focus on the road. “That night was great, I just want everything to live up to those expectations now,”
“I feel the same,” Adeline told him, her nerves settling now that she knew he could relate. “But if we can get along when we’re drunk and stupid we can handle a first date, right?”
“Right, as long as you don’t make me sleep on your living room floor tonight, we’re good,” Tito joked, he could still feel the ache in his back.
“First of all, you passed out on said floor, I didn’t make you. Second, bold of you to assume you’re getting invited in again.” She laughed at him. Thoughts of how the night would end had filled her mind all day long despite all the work she had to get done, but none of the scenarios involved him sleeping at her place yet. It wasn’t that she didn’t want it, but it was far too early for something like that. She didn’t want to risk ruining whatever was between them by rushing in.
“What if I bring fries?” He pushed his luck, but it was all playful, and Adeline shook her head again.
“Nice try, but you’re feeding me before we get home this time,”
“Mmh, I’m sure I’ll figure something out.” He rested his hand on her knee, and she moved a little closer to him until the end of the drive.
Tito didn’t get invited in that night, and he was okay with it. He would have been okay with anything after the way she kissed him in front of her door. Maybe it was stupid, but he’d never gotten a kiss like that after a date that didn’t end up leading to something more too fast. There was something more between him and Adeline, and this was easily the best kiss of his life.
“Is that too soon?” She had hesitated, her hand on his cheeks and lips less than an inch away from his.
“No,” Tito replied, anything else he might have wanted to say cut off by her kiss. His body melted against hers, his hand pulling her waist closer as they moved their lips slowly, exchanging a passionate yet sweet kiss.
He replayed the moment in his mind the whole ride home, grinning stupidly and humming along to songs on the radio with renewed cheerfulness. For a while he thought they’d keep kissing in front of her door forever, but noise from a door slamming upstairs reminded them they were still in a corridor. With a few nervous chuckles and one last kiss, Tito had left, and now nothing could ruin his good mood.
That date was followed by another the next week, and another a few days later, until they were so attached to each other they spent every free second they had together. Tito sometimes showed up to her place in the morning with coffee and a bagel from her favorite café so that he could drive her to work. When it was time for her lunch break he’d pick her up and they’d eat out somewhere.
Since it was the off season he didn’t have many obligations, and while Adeline insisted he didn’t have to drive her everywhere, Tito just really wanted to. He usually spent the morning in the gym to stay in shape, and he used the afternoon to see some friends and his family. Every other moment was reserved for Adeline only.
Her internship kept her busy outside of working hours too, but she always managed to make him fit in her schedule and doubled her efforts on some nights to be free during others. It was tough but Adeline’s motivation had never been higher, there was so much happiness in her life that no task seemed too big to accomplish.
Before meeting him, she’d spend all her free time outside or writing poems, which Tito often said she should still do without him. He didn’t want to take away from her personal space and habits, but she simply shook her head and shut him up with a kiss every time. She had never been more inspired than she was when he was around, and her poems gained in quality and length even with less time spent working on them. They weren’t the work of her brain, but of her heart.
“You got me flowers?” Adeline beamed one evening when he picked her up and she spotted the bouquet in the car.
“I should have hidden it in the back,” Tito sighed at the ruined surprise. “But yeah, I haven’t done that for you before. Do you like them?”
“I love pink gerberas,” she leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”
The rest of the drive was quiet, and when they reached her apartment, Tito got to come inside with her for the first time since they were drunk together. Adeline placed the flowers in a vase at the center of her dinner table and smiled to herself. They matched her coasters; it was her favorite color when it came to flowers. It was only a lucky guess, but Tito really had a way to make her swoon with every little gesture.
“It’s not very big, but let me show you around properly this time,” Adeline had cleaned the previous day and made sure to make her bed in the morning so that she could show him.
They spent the end of the day together, Adeline cooking for both of them and Tito doing dishes as she cooked to help out. It was nice and comfortable, but they were both more than happy when they could finally crash on the couch together.
“Wanna watch something?” She asked, cuddled against his chest. She could have stayed like that forever, just listening to his heartbeat, but she didn’t want him to get bored.
“Mmh, what are you thinking?” Tito rested a hand in the middle of her back, relaxing into her warmth and the soft comforting smell of her place.
“You pick,” Adeline turned the TV on, picked Netflix and handed him the remote so that he could scroll through what was available.
“TV show or movie?” He took note of the things she was currently watching as he scrolled down, and she shrugged against him.
“Movie?” She decided randomly. Her only thought was that she didn’t want him to leave after just one episode of a TV show.
It was clear they were attracted to each other, but everything had been so perfect in their relationship so far that neither pushed for dates to end with more than a kiss. Adeline’s work was a lot to handle on some days, and she was exhausted on most nights, so Tito never felt like insisting he should come in, even just to spend the night cuddling. He knew he’d keep her up forever because they could rarely stop talking once they started.
He picked a movie that looked half decent with her approval, oblivious to the fact that neither of them was planning on watching it anyway. Adeline only wanted to enjoy the feeling of being in his arms like that, and he couldn’t care less about anything in the world as long as he could feel her against him.
“You ever think of how crazy it is that we started getting along so well so fast?” She eventually whispered, wondering if he was one to talk during movies or if he liked watching them without interruption.
The usual answer would have been without interruption, but Tito was much more interested in Adeline than in the movie that night.
“I do, yeah,” he rubbed motions with his thumb on her back. “And it just makes me glad I found you,”
“I feel good around you,” Adeline lifted her head so that she could look at him for a second, she was met with a soft smile, followed by an even softer kiss.
“Should we…” He panted as she kissed back with a little more purpose. “Should we maybe ditch the movie?” Her lips moved to his cheek and down his jaw, making him bite back a groan until she was leaving kisses on his neck and he couldn’t hold it back anymore.
“Yes,” she didn’t hesitate in her answer, lifting herself off him.
Tito got up after her and pulled her back to him for a passionate kiss, both of them stumbling as she tried to step back towards her bedroom. They chuckled against each other before parting long enough to make it there, and the heaviness of the moment settled on them when they finally sat on the bed.
Adeline got a condom out of her bedside drawer and placed it on the bed so that they wouldn’t have to worry about it later, and as soon as that was done Tito’s lips were back on hers. Feeling him close to her helped her relax, so she followed his guiding hands until she was straddling him and sitting back on his thighs.
There was no rush to their movements, they made out slowly and let their hands wander to begin exploring each other, over their clothes at first, and then slipping underneath the fabrics. Their shirts were first to go, and the sight of their bodies like that was enough for them both to need a moment to just breathe. When their lips joined and they found themselves chest to chest again, the desire and heat of the kiss grew stronger.
Tito’s hands were on her waist, caressing softly before trailing up her back and finding the clasp of her bra. He murmured a question between kisses, and the breathy yes he got in response encouraged him to undo the clasp and remove the material from her body.
His touches were gentle, pulling quiet gasps out of her as soon as he left her lips to kiss over her neck, looking for the tender spots that made her hips roll so close to his. Adeline’s hands were on his chest, discovering every muscle and the way they clenched when he moved to gently push her back on the mattress. She resisted the urge to hide herself from him, and Tito was nothing but loving as he found the spots that made her breathing hitch with the tips of his fingers.
Her jeans were next to go, her underwear following a second after while she tugged at Tito’s clothes to get him to remove them too. She used the opportunity to get him on his back and kissed her way down his chest, earning a quiet moan that turned her on so much she almost moaned back just from the noise.
“Baby,” Tito breathed out when her lips pressed over the bulge in his boxers. “Not tonight, please,” his chest was rising and falling faster.
“Okay,” she listened and lifted her head to kiss his stomach again instead, but he could still see the silent question in her eyes.
“You’re going to kill me if you do this right now.” He explained as he reversed the position, adjusting her until she was comfortably resting on a pillow.
“That’s why it’s so fun,” Adeline grinned, and he laughed before their lips met again.
The kiss was a little messier because of how hard it was for them to stop smiling, but everything intensified when Tito’s fingers found a spot high up on her inner thigh that made her whimper into his mouth.
“That okay?” He whispered close to her ear, kissing the spot just underneath it as she gasped her affirmation.
He didn’t waste another second before slowly sliding two of his fingers against her and rubbing gentle circles over her clit. Adeline clutched his back in response, moaning softly and moving her hips up for more contact. She was overwhelmed by everything about him, from the light scratch of his beard against her skin when he nibbled at her jaw, the warmth of his almost-naked body close to hers, to the incredible feeling of his fingers rubbing against her perfectly.
Tito held back moans that threatened to come out just from feeling her dripping for him. He kissed her deeply as he slowly slid his fingers further down and inside of her, his thumb replacing them over her clit. The noises she made into his mouth made him roll his hips against the mattress for some relief, and his chest swelled with pride every time he felt her body react to his touch.
There had been so much anticipation between them, such a long build up and so many kisses that lingered as they both ached for more, that it didn’t take long for Adeline to feel herself get close to the edge. She clutched Tito’s back harder, holding onto him for dear life as she tried to keep her legs still to let him keep going.
Her moans and gasps sped up when he let go of her lips and opted for kissing her neck instead to let her breathe, and it all encouraged him to pick up his pace, curling his fingers into her sweet spot until he could feel her body trembling. Adeline’s jaw dropped as she came, her legs closing over Tito’s hand, but it didn’t stop him from moving his fingers slowly to ride her through it.
He was slow to pull his hand away when her body finally relaxed again, peppering kisses over her face. She wanted to bask in the feeling forever, but the second Tito pulled away from her to shuffle his boxers off, a new kind of hunger overtook her. She didn’t give him time to come back on top of her, pushing herself up and straddling him again instead.
Tito made quick work of the condom before her lips could latch back onto his and they found themselves chest to chest with no barrier between them. Adeline’s legs wrapped around his waist as he grabbed her ass to pull her to him. They stared into each other’s eyes, resting their foreheads together and sometimes letting their noses brush before Tito reached between their bodies and finally placed his tip at her entrance.
He didn’t break eye contact for a second as he filled her slowly, tightening his grip around her until they were as close as they could get to each other. The kiss they shared let them swallow each other’s moans and groans as they began rocking together, barely pulling away from each other before making their bodies meet again.
The temperature rose fast in the room, and a thin layer of sweat covered their skin as they clung to each other. Adeline had never felt this close to someone before, and she had to bury her face in his neck to escape the overwhelming intensity of her feelings when she looked into his eyes.
Tito pulled her even closer at that, grinding against her and softly moaning every time she clenched around him. He was right on the edge, trying to hold back to get her to come one last time, but everything about her felt like heaven to him. His lips found her shoulder, leaving a few kisses there as he felt himself lose control, his thighs clenching hard while his teeth lightly dug into her skin.
His pleasured groan got Adeline to fall apart right after him, her body tightening beautifully in his arms as the noises leaving her lips echoed his. They breathed heavily against each other, remaining still for a few minutes and just letting themselves enjoy the afterglow close together.
Tito pulled away first, carefully letting her down on the bed and kissing her one last time before heading to her bathroom to dispose of the condom. She took a turn in there to clean up right after him, and as soon as she was back in bed, she cuddled close to his chest again.
“Was that okay?” He kissed the top of her head, and her chest shook with a chuckle.
“That wasn’t okay,” Adeline shuffled up so that they could be face to face. “It was amazing,”
“Yeah?” He beamed and she nodded, angling her head to ask for another kiss.
Tito gave in easily, humming against her lips while she guided him onto his back and rested her forearms on his torso to look at him.
“I’m falling in love with you,” she breathed out without hesitation, looking straight into his eyes and watching them widen as soon as he processed the words.
“I’m falling in love with you too,” he managed to answer even with the breath knocked out of his lungs. “I’m falling so hard.”
.
Their honeymoon phase lasted as long as Tito’s time in Montreal did.
She even met his parents one weekend, and a few of his friends through the weeks. It was all too perfect until his last week before having to get back to New York came along.
“What’s going to happen when you’re in New York?” Adeline addressed it as they walked in a park together on his last Monday in Montreal, her hand in his. It was late and a little cold, but the darkness was calm.
“I’m not sure,” Tito swallowed heavily, looking straight ahead because there was no good solution. “I just… I want whatever’s best for you,”
“You’re what’s best for me, I don’t want to lose you.” Her hand slipped from his as they stopped walking and turned to face each other.
Adeline searched his eyes for an answer, but her fears kept growing with every passing moment. The feelings she had for Tito were unlike anything she ever experienced before, and she was terrified of seeing their relationship end. It was the last thing she could ever want, but he had to make the best decision for his career.
“Then I’m yours,” he reached out and grasped both of her hands in his, bringing them up to kiss her knuckles. “I know not everyone can handle long distance but… but we can’t know until we try, right?”
“Right,” she exhaled her relief and squeezed his hands tighter.
“And New York isn’t the other side of the world, we can see each other on weekends,” Tito continued, trying to work things out in his head and reassure her as well as he could.
“Weekends work,” Adeline nodded, biting back a wave of tears, but her eyes watered anyway.
“Baby, please don’t,” he cupped her face with both hands and ran his thumbs over her cheeks while she wrapped her arms around him. “I know work will make it hard for you to travel, but I’ll come up as often as I can, okay?”
“Yeah,” she hid her face into his chest and took a deep breath to calm down. Nothing soothed her better than being close to him.
“We’ll make it work. I promise.” He rocked her gently from side to side in his arms. “I love you too much to ever let you go.”
“I really- I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall in love like that.” Adeline kissed over his heart, making him tighten his arms around her.
“Me neither, and I know it won’t be easy every day, but it’s all going to be worth it, yeah?” Tito tilted her face up so that their noses brushed.
“Loving you makes it all worth it.” She whispered, closing her eyes and falling for him harder with every press of his lips against hers.
.
The first month was easy.
They had just spent so much time together that it didn’t feel like the distance would ever be an issue, Tito came up to Montreal for three days, and despite all her work Adeline managed to visit one weekend too.
Sweet attentions helped them push through too, Adeline sent him letters with handwritten poems in them, things he inspired and she thought were worth sharing. Tito sent her flowers and so many loving good morning texts that there was no way she’d ever wake up and start her day without feeling like the luckiest woman in the world.
Their time together was a little hectic, a mix of dates to spend quality time together and just staying in bed without letting go of each other unless it was for a few hours of sleep in between. The rhythm was tiring, no matter how close New York and Montreal were, travelling was exhausting. It meant waking up early to go to the airport and have enough time to get through security, and it also meant getting home late at the end of the trip with an early morning start right after.
Still, they were in love and they made it work.
When Christmas came around they felt like they were pros at handling their relationship. Adeline took days off to come spend time in New York so that she could see more of Tito’s world and finally meet Mat, and he came back to Canada for Christmas with his family.
They didn’t spend the holidays together per say, but they saw each other so often that it felt like they did anyway. Every important moment was spent together, Adeline came over to his house on Christmas morning to open gifts and have lunch with his parents, and Tito spent New Year’s Eve at a party her friends organized. They got to exchange a sickeningly sweet kiss just as the year started and whispered their promise to love each other forever.
When hockey became a priority again and Tito had to leave, everything felt bittersweet. The moments they had together felt like they were stolen, something they had to work for because nothing fit in their lives unless they forced it to. There was never a weekend when they could both be free unless Adeline managed to figure out a way to get a break from work, and even when she had things to do, Tito still flew up to see her during the moments she had to spare over two days. His games were getting more important, and the team was already dealing with injuries, so he was having a hard time handling everything without letting anyone down.
Their relationship was strong, but when March rolled around neither of them was truly happy.
“You’re exhausted,” Adeline pointed out something she had been noticing more and more every time he visited. Now, the dark circles under his eyes were visible even through the shitty quality of their call.
“I’m alright,” Tito lied again to stop her from worrying and gave her a weak smile. “You think you’ll be free next weekend?”
“There’s no way you’re travelling again next weekend,” she shook her head, refusing to ask him to put so much effort in again when he clearly needed the rest.
“Well can you come down?” He broke it down to what he thought was simple. If she could move, she’d come visit him. If she couldn’t, he’d come visit her.
“No, I’m stuck this month, I told you,” Adeline sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. Her internship was getting closer to its end and the prospect of a job was real, so she was being drowned in extra work so that she could prove she deserved to stay. As much as she wanted to see Tito to be able to relax in his arms, she knew his training was even more intense than what she had to do.
“Then I’m coming to you,” he insisted again, so Adeline sharpened her tone.
“The hell you are.” She gave him the glare he had received many times before. It was the one that told him ‘I love you but you’re being an idiot,’ and if things were normal, Tito would have laughed and agreed with whatever she wanted.
“So you don’t want to see me now?” He got offended instead, unable to understand why she wouldn’t want him to come. He was doing everything he could to make things work, no matter what.
“Not in that state!” She shot back, feeling tears brimming in her eyes. She was calmer as she spoke her next words. “Tito please, just get some rest… I miss you like hell all the time, but this… it’s not worth it. I’d rather see you a little less and in better shape, okay? We can facetime every night this week or something to make up for it if you want,”
“It’s not the same as holding you,” Tito’s emotions settled too, as defeated as he felt, she was right.
“I know champ, but you’ve got to take care of yourself. Get some rest, okay?”
She made him promise he’d slow down, but Tito didn’t last long. He figured that if he trained extra hard by going to the gym earlier and spent more time on the ice then he’d deserve to spend his days off with her.
Everything was going in the opposite direction of what she asked, but he couldn’t let himself rest if it meant he wouldn’t see her.
“Wake the fuck up!” Anders slammed into him on the ice and sent him stumbling a few feet away. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” Tito gritted his teeth, anger clear in his features.
The captain muttered something under his breath as he skated away, hoping this would be enough to get him to concentrate until the end of the practice at least. It was the third time in a row he missed a pass to Mat, something that almost never happened. The two best friends had chemistry even on the ice, they worked well together, but Anthony was fucking everything up lately and the team wouldn’t take it for much longer.
“Alright,” Anders stood in front of him in the locker room once everyone else was gone and crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing,”
“Beau,” His captain gave him a look. “You’re a good player, but you haven’t played right in two weeks at practice. Thank fuck you’re still alright when we have games, but how long is that gonna last, uh?”
“I’m not going to let the team down.” Anthony promised, and the other man sighed.
“I know you don’t want to, so get your shit together. It’d be a waste to have you sitting on a bench during every game, especially because of some girl,” Anders made his point and watched him get offended, his voice rising as he spoke again.
“Adeline is-”
“I don’t care what Adeline is.” Anders snapped to cut him off. “Adeline is not here, and she’s not worth ruining a career over. If you don’t start showing some proper skills you won’t be playing next time there’s an important game. I need to know I can count on you to be part of the team.”
“You can count on me.” Tito’s jaw was clenched, he was angry, but now was not a good time to lash out. He knew the threat was real, and Anders was probably doing him a favor having this talk with him now rather than letting him get ripped apart by coaches.
“Then start by getting some sleep. You look like shit.” His captain concluded, dropping his arms by his side and walking out of the room, leaving Anthony alone with his thoughts.
.
Tito tried his best to fix himself over the next week. He got a smile from Anders when things finally went right at practice, and everyone on the team felt relief when they realized they were getting their player back. Everyone thought things were fine except Mat.
He could see past the fake smiles; he could see the hurt in his friend’s eyes when he came to hang out with the team on Saturday nights instead of flying to Montreal to be with the woman he so desperately loved. It wasn’t healthy.
Even when Mat tried to start a conversation he got shut out, Tito wasn’t sharing much with anyone anymore. He was the shell of the player and friend he used to be, so lost in his love for Adeline that he didn’t even realize he was forgetting parts of himself.
“Adeline?” Mat eventually ended up on the phone with her, half of his brain screaming this was the stupidest thing to do and the other half saying it was the only solution. He didn’t want to get in his best friend’s business, but he at least needed to know what was going on on her end.
“Yeah, what’s up Mat?” She took a break from the chapter of the novel she was editing and pushed her chair away from her desk.
“I’m just- I’m sorry I’m calling, I know it’s fucked, but Tito isn’t talking to me and I’m wondering if you’ve heard a lot from him the past few days?”
“Yeah, he’s always texting or calling. Did you guys have a fight or something?” Adeline frowned. Not talking to Mat wasn’t normal, ever since she met Tito she’d been hearing all about his best friend and how well they got along. She also would have expected Tito to mention it to her if something happened.
“No, I mean, yeah. Sort of. He’s been playing like shit at practice, so Anders tried to knock some sense into him, and not very kindly,” Mat explained with a sigh, which only made her worry more.
“Oh. What does that have to do with you?” She asked so that she could finally connect the dots, and the response she got was not what she had expected.
“Well Anders said something about how he shouldn’t let some girl fuck up a whole career, and, uh, it was a shitty thing to say, so I tried to put it more nicely, and he didn’t like it.”
“Right,” she looked down at her lap and fiddled with the hem of her skirt. Was that how the team felt about her? Like she was some girl messing with one of their best players? And if so, wasn’t it her responsibility to make sure she didn’t interfere with his career?
“You’re not fucking up anything, it’s not what I meant,” he quickly caught himself. “But Tito’s just… he’s not himself lately. He’s pretending he’s okay but the travelling back and forth is seriously getting to him, he’s not sleeping, he’s just a mess. It’s bad for the team, and he’s my best friend, I’m worried about him,” Mat was quiet as he spoke the end of his sentence, and she was glad he couldn’t see her.
“I just… I’m not sure what I can do about that Mat,” Adeline felt the tears brimming in her eyes, because she knew.
There was only one way to fix this, and she had been avoiding it for weeks already. The day Tito left Montreal they promised each other they’d do anything to make things work, that they’d never stop trying, but was this promise more important than his health?
“Can you try to talk to him, please? Just make him rest for one weekend,” Mat brought her back to earth as he asked, as if that was all Anthony needed. It would be a start, but it was far from enough. He was already staying in New York most of the time, and it was barely helping.
“I keep telling him to stay home,” she reminded him while pressing her palms over her eyes.
“So he’s not listening to you either?” Mat’s heart deflated at that. He knew his best friend was stubborn, but he didn’t think he’d turn away every attempt you all made to get him to take care of himself.
“No… I’d come if I could, but work doesn’t really allow it right now. I’ll try to get him to stay in New York for the next two weeks, hopefully I’ll get somewhere by talking to him,” Adeline promised herself to make more efforts, to give it one more try in case that was all they needed to make things work again.
“Okay,” he fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt, hoping that by the end of those two weeks things would look a bit better.
“Are you thinking of anything else?” She prompted him after he turned quiet, and Mat sighed.
“No, you’re… you were really good for him at the start, you know?” He delved into the part he probably shouldn’t be saying out loud, but he needed her to understand how bad things were. “It made him so happy, and I know you guys are still happy together, but with the way things are right now, he’s messing himself up. Badly. It’s not your fault, I just hope you guys can find a balance that works for you both again.”
“I’ll figure it out, have a nice day Mat,” Adeline put an end to the conversation, and he rubbed his hand over his face as he sighed.
“Yeah, you too.”
.
When Tito called her less than twenty minutes later, he couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to talk. Adeline declined his call after the second ring and told him she’d call later even though they had planned on talking to each other at that time. Her lack of texts and explanations made him overthink everything, so when Mat and a few other guys showed up to his place an hour later, he wasn’t in the mood to hang out anymore.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Mat told him when he expressed his concern. “Just have a beer and chill out,”
“You can’t be sure she’s fine,” Tito argued as he grabbed the beer and took three long gulps.
“I talked to her for a bit today, so she’s fine. She’ll probably call you tomorrow, yeah?” Mat let the information slip because he figured it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Adeline was bound to tell him at some point anyway.
“You talked to her?” Tito frowned, the information not sitting well with him. Mat barely knew Adeline; they hadn’t gotten many chances to hang out because Tito always hogged her attention whenever she was around.
“Uh, yeah,” Mat was suddenly more than uncomfortable. He didn’t want to lie to his friend, but with the way he was reacting he felt like he would have been much better off keeping his mouth shut.
“And now she’s not picking up my calls.” Anthony grew suspicious, and the look on Mat’s face didn’t reassure him in the least. “What the fuck did you say to her?”
“I just told her I’m worried about you, you’re not yourself lately.” He admitted, feeling like being honest was the best option.
Tito didn’t lose his cool easily, but somehow this made him angry.
“Can’t you all stop with that? I’m fine.” He replied harshly, and Mat kept his mouth shut.
He thought for a second looking at the wall ahead of him and nodding. Mat was done fighting, he had offered his help, he was there to listen, but he wasn’t going to sit and let Anthony get mad at him when he was only trying to show he cared.
“Yeah, right.” Mat got up and headed out of the room, abandoning him to his thoughts.
Tito sighed and checked his phone to distract himself, knowing he had to get out there and apologize in a minute or two. A text from Adeline caught his attention, and his mood lifted instantly.
I’ll be in New York tomorrow
He almost screamed right there, but he bit his lip and contained his smile instead as he typed back.
For real?? What time am I picking you up?
He had been feeling so off, he couldn’t wait to hold her. It had been too long since he got to see her and it was hard for him to hide his excitement.
I’ll just meet you at your place
The response Tito received made his heart deflate. Something was wrong. He always picked her up from the airport, he’d done it every single time, so why shouldn’t he do it tomorrow? Between his conversation with Mat and that, the uneasiness he had felt since the declined call only increased.
“You okay?” Brassard asked as he walked out of the kitchen.
“Sorry, I’m just not in the mood tonight,” he walked past everyone and went straight for his bedroom, closing the door and locking it so no one could come bother him.
It wasn’t fair to shut his friends out like that, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Nothing mattered anymore, he was in a constant state of numbness when he was in New York. Playing hockey helped, the games put him in the right mindset, but as soon as he stepped off the ice his world fell apart all over again.
Adeline was the only thing keeping him together, but she was also the reason he was being torn apart. She had watched it happen too, she saw the way it started, his sudden disinterest for anything that wasn’t hockey or her, the sadness she caused and tried to fix so hard. She thought that with more time together their time apart would be easier, but nothing she did helped Tito work it out. Their relationship had been rushed, they fell in love and their feelings for each other became an obsession, one Anthony couldn’t manage anymore.
He was only happy when she was with him, but even then parts of himself were missing.
Mat and the other guys left soon after he disappeared, giving up for the night and deciding they’d try to spend time with him another day. Anthony was too stubborn, there was no point in them staying. He didn’t care about what was going on that night, he couldn’t think of anything except Adeline.
Just one night of sleep, one day of work and she’d be in his arms.
Tito was in his head and time flew by, so when he made it home the next night he was constantly checking his phone to know where she was. She texted when she landed, so he was waiting close to the door when he knew she was about to arrive.
The front door was open before she was even out of the elevator.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Tito let her walk in and pulled her into a hug to take in the sweet scent of her perfume. His eyes fell shut as he finally felt his body relax. Adeline was the remedy to everything in his life, nothing felt better than having her close.
“Tito,” she pulled away a little as she spoke, trying to put some distance between them.
“Mmh?” He kept his hands on her waist, tugging her against him because he wasn’t ready to part from the hug just yet.
“Anthony, stop,” she pushed on his shoulders and took a step back. “I’m here because I need to talk to you.”
“What’s going on?” Tito frowned at the use of his full name. Deep down, he had known for days that something was coming, but now that he had to face it he didn’t feel prepared enough at all.
A heaviness settled over the room, the usual playful and happy atmosphere of their reunions nowhere to be found.
“I don’t think we should be doing this anymore.” Adeline said, her hands linked together in front of her.
The words hung in the air for several seconds. There was an apologetic look in her eyes as she waited for Tito to react, his expression going from shock, to panic, and to confusion all within a few seconds. He had expected her to want to talk, to ask for a break from things at worst.
This was something he had never considered.
“What?” He whispered, unable to form a word any louder than that.
“I know you don’t want to hear it, but you’re not happy like this,” she felt her heart break as he stammered to start a sentence. He looked exhausted, there were dark circles under his eyes, and now his features were twisted in pain.
“Adeline, don’t. You- you don’t know what you’re saying, I’m fine, and-” Tito struggled to say anything coherent, he spoke too fast, but he was scared that if he didn’t say anything she’d vanish.
“You’re not fine. You’re not in the right headspace to train because you’re always thinking of how to get away from New York, you’re not focusing on what should matter to you the most and you’re making yourself sick because you’re not sleeping,” Adeline shook her head, looking down to avoid crying. She couldn’t take the look in his eyes, they used to be so full of joy, but now the blue was dulled by tears that blurred his vision.
“I am sleeping,” he croaked weakly and reached for her.
“That’s not the point!” She stepped back to dodge his touch. She wasn’t strong enough to fight him on this for long, he held too much power over her, she’d cave in no time if she let him touch her. “This was never the point. You were right, not everyone can do long distance and we couldn’t know unless we tried. Now we know, it’s not working out.” She swallowed back her sob and took a shaky breath in to calm down.
“Adeline, please,” Tito shook his head, teardrops rolling down his cheeks already. “No, please,” he didn’t know what else to do but beg.
“I’m sorry,” she looked up. As hard as it was, he deserved at least that, but the broken look in his eyes made her fall apart.
“No! You’re the love of my life, I can’t just let you go,” he refused to go down without a fight, not when she was the only woman he had ever loved. He saw his entire life with her, they could have everything together, and he couldn’t let it go so easily.
“You have to. I’m asking you to.” Adeline wiped her thumbs underneath her eyes to catch her tears. She knew he’d respect her decision, no matter how much he hated it, because he always respected boundaries. She just had to tell him she didn’t want him anymore, and that was the hardest part, having to lie to protect him. “This isn’t healthy for you, and frankly, it’s not healthy for me either. I’m always on my phone, I can barely focus on work because I’m wondering when you’ll be free to call, I’m going to sleep so fucking late every time we call and I just… I just can’t keep doing this any longer knowing it’s hurting you.” She explained, and he used that time to settle his breathing.
“We can work through a rough patch,” his voice was a little raspy, but he pushed through. “I’ll… I’ll stay in New York for longer periods, and we can schedule calls so that it’s not as messy,” Tito brought up every solution he could think of, but she already knew they were pointless.
“You’re making this so hard,” Adeline sniffled quietly, glancing down at her feet again. “I’m sorry, but I’m not changing my mind.”
“So that’s just… it?” He felt like he’d just received a punch to the stomach. Adeline looked up as he took a step back, shaking his head a little and looking completely lost.
“I guess,” she whispered, her lower lip trembling.
“I’m in love with you, isn’t that worth trying a little bit harder?” Tito couldn’t believe the feelings settling inside his chest. He was slowly processing every word she had said, and there were so many things wrong with this conversation. What happened to their promise?
“You think I haven’t tried hard enough? You think I haven’t tried my fucking hardest?” Adeline let the tears flow down her cheeks, and her chest shook with a sob, but she fought to keep her voice steady.
“Well you’re the one giving up now!” He clenched his jaw, sniffling loudly and tugging at his hair in despair. The hurt had kicked in, and he was angry now.
“Because you’re not okay! And I had to find out from your best friend because you keep lying to me and you’re not taking care of yourself!” She raised her voice to his level, and he scoffed, pacing around his living room.
“Mat doesn’t fucking know what I’m doing, if I’m saying I can handle it, then I can handle it!” Tito was sick of everyone around him telling him how to feel and what to do. Focus, train harder, take a break, sleep, travel, don’t travel, call me, don’t call me, spend time with friends, call your family. It was all too much, and he just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Mat just asked me to check up on you, and he was right, you’re not fine, and I’m the reason you keep getting worse. I just can’t do this anymore,” Adeline’s voice softened to hide the way it cracked halfway through, but he caught it anyway.
“Fucking great.” He bit his cheek to stop himself from breaking down. Watching her like this, the woman he loved more than anything in the world, was destroying him. She felt the pain too, and he was causing it.
“You’re angry, and I get it,” Adeline took a deep breath in and dropped her hands by her sides, wondering when he’d snap. She was the one giving up, so she was ready to take it. “I’m so sorry, this isn’t how I pictured things going between us... I’ll just go… I’m really sorry.” She turned around, ready to walk out so that she could break down somewhere he wouldn’t see her.
It was better if he was mad at her, his anger was much easier to handle than the look he first gave her.
“Adeline wait,” Tito crossed the room in two long strides and wrapped his hand around her arm before she could reach the door.
“What are you-” Adeline turned around to face him and he released her arm to hold her waist instead.
“Just one more.” He murmured with his lips so close to hers she could already feel how soft they were through a brush. “Please, just one last night,”
He kissed her to stop her from replying, to stop her from thinking rationally, and to fucking beg her to give him this last thing. Adeline wasn’t strong enough to pull away. Instead, she melted into his touch and responded to the kiss with a passion fueled by her heart falling into pieces.
Just one last time, she told herself as she kept on kissing him, blindly letting him walk back to his bedroom.
They could taste the saltiness of their tears as they moved their lips together, tangled in each other with her straddling him and her legs around his waist, just like they had been the first night they were together like that. They didn’t exchange any words, kissing and hiding their faces whenever they had to so that they wouldn’t see the other breaking inside.
It was all too much and not enough, so when Tito kept her tight against his chest to lay in bed, Adeline didn’t fight him. She closed her eyes and bit back tears, pretending she wasn’t about to leave so that he would let himself fall asleep.
Tito was safe with her so close, his grip was tight, he wasn’t ever letting her go. It was what he told himself as he drifted off to sleep, telling himself they’d talk in the morning, that he’d find a way to convince her they could still fix things.
.
Adeline felt like her heart was being torn apart when she crawled out of his arms in the early hours of the morning. She hadn’t slept for a second, but she couldn’t bring herself to get up. For a moment, she even thought she should stay. What if Tito was right? What if he could stay in New York for more time? They could schedule the calls like he said to make things easier.
The idea disappeared from her mind with every moment she spent looking at him, fast asleep in his bed when he used to always wake up whenever she moved. There were dark circles under his eyes, he was exhausted, and she was only making it worse. Leaving was the only way.
Adeline grabbed as much of her things as she could carry and got dressed in the living room as quietly as possible, but with how hard she was crying she was surprised none of her sobs had woken Tito up yet. A few of her things were still in his room, but it was nothing she desperately needed back, and if she woke him up she’d never be able to leave. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from going into his bedroom to look at him one more time.
He was so beautiful when he slept, so peaceful and relaxed. Adeline wished she could see him smile one more time, just to be able to admire the spark in his eyes whenever he did. She knew that if he woke up they’d only be filled with sadness and fear, all because of her, so she took a deep breath and scribbled one last thing on a post it note, placing it on her pillow before leaving his apartment silently.
.
An hour later the sun was up, and Tito was shaking as he woke up. He sat up immediately to grab the cold bed sheets on her side of the bed. It all felt like a nightmare. The bedroom was silent apart from his heavy breathing, and he turned his light on before looking around for any sign she was still here.
After they held each other so tightly during the night, the way they loved each other, how could she have left? Tears stung in his eyes as he took notice of everything in his room. Her clothes were gone from the floor, her notebook wasn’t on the nightstand, and he could see his closet cracked open with two empty shelves. Her shelves.
Tito’s heart tightened in his chest as the reality of the situation hit him. His body was tense but he couldn’t move. His whole world was falling apart, he was completely lost, scrambling for something, anything he could hold onto.
He found it in a single blue post-it note on his pillow, her pretty cursive handwriting recognizable easily.
I’m sorry,
A
.
Please reblog and let me know what you thought!! Writing is a lot of time and effort, I appreciate all comments, asks and reblogs more than you know <3
#anthony beauvillier#tito beauvillier#anthony beauvillier imagine#anthony beauvillier fic#anthony beauvillier fluff#anthony beauvillier angst#tito beauvillier angst#tito beauvillier fluff#tito beauviller fic#tito beauvillier imagine#nhl fic#nhl imagine#hockey fic#hockey imagine#new york islanders#ny islanders
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CHAMERON FIC CHAMERON FIC CHAMERON FIC
Uhhhhh I feel like I should give this a title but I have no idea what to call so uh, nevermind !!
Anyways,I finally finished the fic I said I was writing like,a month ago lol. All my Chameron stans out there this one's for u,I rlly hope at least one person enjoys this,I rlly enjoyed writing it !! Ok sappy stuff outta the way,here it is:
As rain pounded against the window Charlie sent what was probably the thousandth crumpled ball of paper across the room.
"Jesus Charlie,is your arm not getting tired?"
Charlie smirked at that, clearly preparing to make a dirty minded joke,but a thoroughly exhausted Richard Cameron was already one step ahead.
"You know what,forget I asked, you're gross."
Getting up from the seat at his desk and ignoring an indignant retort from Charlie, Cameron thought of the rest of his friends,out for the weekend. Todd and Neil celebrating their one year anniversary, Meeks and Pitts embarking on a two day road trip,for what they still claimed to be, entirely platonic reasons (although the rest of the poets were all too aware of the almost palpable romantic tension between them). Even Knox had found something to do with himself on this miserable Friday night.
And here Cameron was,stuck in his dorm with nothing but stacks of extra homework and his obnoxious roommate to keep him company.
Speaking of that obnoxious roommate, "Oh come on Cam,you're not seriously going to bed already,it's barely eight!"
"Shut up Dalton,I'm tired."
Refusing to admit defeat, Charlie sprung from his own bed into Cameron's, attempting to wrestle the poor boy from his comfortable position.
"Charlie,get off you psycho!" Cameron managed to get out, already laughter threatening to give away just how welcome his friend's childish antics were.
After a few more minutes of "fooling around" as Charlie insisted on calling it (mostly because of how profusely it made Cameron blush),the two boys lay breathless beside each other,trying desperately to think of something else to do that would ward off impending boredom.
After a few moments of comfortable silence,Charlie suggested,looking expectantly towards the ginger, "Wanna go to the cave?"
With extreme,mind numbing boredom as motivation, it was inevitable that Cameron would say yes. It certainly helped that Charlie was gazing at him with those oh-so convincing doe eyes of his. Charlie Dalton and his stupid,gorgeous eyes. And his stupid,gorgeous smile,which Cameron was abso definitely not thinking about as he got up and grabbed his coat.
The two boys trudged through the woods,bickering lightly when Cameron complained of the cold that Charlie apparently couldnt feel at all,but always with an unusually friendly air between them. Before long they were sat together in the middle of the cave,sharing an apple that Cameron had managed to salvage from somewhere (a feat Dalton was of course impressed by),and trading stories of girls and parties galore. In Cameron's case, the stories of girls were few and the parties were from years long before even middle school,so Charlie did most of the talking.
After a while though,the boys came to discussing their friends,and the luck they all seemed to have in finding each other so easily. Charlie, ever the romantic,made no waste of his extensive vocabulary,tediously lamenting on all the opportunities of love he had missed and the everlasting loneliness he was doomed to,all because his dashing knight in shining armour would never come to find him and-
"Why dont *you* just find somebody?"
Charlie,still sprawled dramatically over a rock ,and mildly offended at the interruption,indignantly questioned "What do you mean?"
"What I said? You dont just have to wait around for somebody to come find you and fall madly in love. Why don't *you* just find somebody?"
He thought for a moment,taken aback by the ginger's harsh words,but eventually decided to humout him for a moment.
"And where exactly do you suggest I find him then, hm?"
Cameron shifted in his seat,not expecting to be taken seriously and certainly not prepared to be giving advice. Especially not *this* kind of advice. Especially not to *charlie*.
"Well,uh," he looked up to see the other boy looking at him expectantly,with that ever-present smirk on his face that, oddly enough,made Cameron feel a little more comfortable.
"Maybe,you could,I don't know, consider that the guy you're looking for has been here the whole time?"
"Wow Cam,Pittsie and Meeks' radio must've really gotten to you. All those love songs have turned you into a big softie." Charlie joked,grinning and nudging Cameron playfully.
Through a soft laugh,Cameron continued, "No I'm serious man,I think you're making this whole love thing way harder for yourself. I mean- and be honest with me, what's actually wrong with the guys at our school?"
"Other than the fact that about three quarters of them are raging heterosexuals?"
Laughing again,Cameron replied "yeah,other than that."
After about zero seconds of careful consideration,he had come to a conclusion, "Well,I guess nothing,but I dont know? Cameron, I don't see how this changes-"
"It *changes* things because clearly you don't anything about half the guys at our school. And you can't write off people you don't even know." At some point, Cameron had gotten up and started pacing around,but with the end of this triumphant speech,he finally sat down,a little closer to the other boy than he had been before.
Charlie looked across at Cameron and was suddenly met with a wave of fondness. Weird,how all it took was to sit and talk for a while before someone you thought you near hated,started to feel like your favorite person in the world. And,was he going completely crazy or Cameron at his most comfortable, without the fear of a teacher lurking nearby,without the stress of constantly trying to prove himself,was he... A little..... attractive??
All at once,Charlie made a decision,partly to try and prove himself wrong,but also because hey,if Richard Cameron was the surprise love of his life,what better time to figure it out than right now?
"So how,sir Richard Cameron,do you propose I get to know all these charming suitors?"
Cameron, completely in the dark about Dalton's recent epiphany,was still stubbornly trying to explain how much easier Charlie's love life could be,if only he would let it.
"Well,maybe by actually talking to them? Y'know,kind of like,What we're doing right now."
"So,what you're saying is,*you* could be my knight in shining armor," he said with a smirk.
"Well,that's not what-"
"No,no it's fine,as long as we're talking about this version of you. Regular Cameron is kind of a buzzkill but Cave Cam is actually a kind of.... And I can't believe I'm saying this but,in here,like this...well. You're actually a little hot."
After this, overwhelmingly romantic confession, Charlie was certain he had completely stuffed it,and sure enough,
"Gee Charlie,thanks. Really makes me wanna ride into the sunset with you." To say Cam's ego had been hit was an understatement,but before he could make a swift exit from the cave and lock himself,alone,in his dorm for the rest of the weekend,of course Dalton kept talking.
"God,I'm sorry,that was, I have no idea why I said that. I thought I was being funny but out loud- god I'm so sorry," while he had initially been mad,seeing Charlie fucking Dalton blush (and because of *him* no less) was rather funny. And sure,a little cute. So Cameron decided to hear him out.
"Can I start over? You're not saying anything so I'm gonna start over. I,uh, I really do think you're hot. Like really hot. And not just right now,all the time,like that time we were at rowing practice and I started pushing you around and we ended up on the floor and I saw like,a single sliver of skin because your sweater had ridden up,and I couldn't stop thinking about it all day,which I thought was a little weird but then-"
"Uh,I think I get it,Charlie." Now Cameron was the one blushing.
"Uh,sorry. What I meant was,that I *do* think you're hot l-"
"As you've said"
"Yeah,yeah,but it's more than that. Like,when I realized we'd basically be spending the whole weekend alone together,I was actually sorta excited for that,even though I knew I'd just be sitting by you while you did homework the whole time,I like,wanted to do that. And tonight,I haven't talked like this with anyone who isn't Neil like,ever. What I mean is,I guess,is that,I think that uh,"
Deciding to lighten the mood,Cameron tried for a little sarcasm, "Wow,Dalton, stuttering? I must be superman or something."
"I'm trying to be romantic here Carrot top," Charlie said with a grin,
"Listen,I don't really know what I'm doing here,but I think it might be kinda nice if we tried having a little romantic weekend of our own. Just to try it. If it totally sucks we can pretend it never happened and the others don't have to know about it and-"
"Charlie."
"Yeah?"
"Relax," Cameron said with yet another laugh ,he didn't think he laughed like this since... Well,he couldn't even remember.
So with a radiant smile on his face,he said,"A romantic weekend of our own sounds amazing. Gotta warn you tho I'm not a great kisser."
"Well, lucky for you I am a great teacher," Charlie replied,with a somehow even bigger smile on his face than Cameron's,
"Why are you laughing,I *am* a great teacher!" Unfortunately for Charlie,his indignance only made Cameron laugh harder.
"I'll believe that when I see it."
"If you shut up and stop laughing,maybe you'll get to." After this was all it took to get the ginger to sober up, the look on his face pushed Charlie to make his final,but (in his opinion) most important decision of the night.It was high time he flirt with Cameron way more often (which was *very* difficult to explain to the other poets,at least the first time).
#yh i did proofread it#yh there probably r still mistakes#i was very nervous so#but yh uh#chameron#dps fic#dps chameron fic#dead poets society chameron#idk how to tag things properly if u couldnt tell from my other posts lol#anyway !! bye
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‘the doctor’ / Midoriya x Reader
Uwu, this is the first official post that hasn’t been imported from the other blog ( ´ ω ` ) Also, this has been sitting around on my computer for the past two months, so enjoy these crumbs while I strive to finish up the semester!
warnings: NSFW, doctor/patient relationship, grinding, heavy petting, fascination for hybrids?, y’all fuck but I didn’t write the whole thing
words: 3,752
(a/n): hehehehehe add this to the list of taboo relationship works I’ve done
-
“The doctor will see you now.”
The secretary sitting behind the desk flashes you a smile as you pass by her. The two of you are already on a first name basis, considering that you have biweekly checkups. With a quirk like yours, it can be detrimental to your health if it goes unchecked for too long. You have enough meds in your system to possibly knock out a small child, but you’ve long since grown used to it.
Still, as you pass from the waiting room and into the hall leading to numerous checkup rooms, your palms feel impossibly clammy. Your previous doctor recently retired after spending so many years in the field, and now you were supposed to meet your new doctor. Granted, your previous one told you many great things about this new kid, about how he’ll take great care of you. You’re not too confident in the sudden change, but it can’t be helped. Unless you wanted to suffer horribly, you had to seek some type of help.
Shuffling to room number six, you silently close the door behind you and take a deep breath. Your intestines feel unusually tight, ache with an indescribable force. Despite your quirk being a relatively simple one – doggification, which essentially means you have the characteristics and properties of a dog – your body could never get quite a grasp on it. Despite looking entirely like a human, your telltale features are the ears and tail protruding from your body. Even now, you can tell your ears are flat against your head and your tail is tucked between your legs.
Gently, you sit on the table, the parchment paper crinkling under your weight. Wringing your hands, you will your breathing to ease, your mind to relax. It’s only the doctor’s office, nothing more, nothing less. You’ve been here practically all your life, so what gives? Oh, that’s right – a new doctor who you’ve never met before.
A few minutes pass; nothing happens besides the tick tock tick tock of the lone clock hanging from the wall, the slight hum from the lightbulbs. Your nerves feel raw, your heart frantic, your breathing irregular. You constantly remind yourself that you’re fine, you’re just nervous. You’re here for a reason, after all. If you want to continue living healthily, you need this treatment. There’s no point in chickening out now.
Just then, the door swings open; you jump in your place as you snap back to reality. Pulse quickening, you’re left wide-eyed as the doctor comes in. He’s nothing like you were expecting – instead of some elderly gentleman like your previous doctor, this new guy is young. He’s ridiculously cute, a mess of green curls piled on his head and a burst of freckles adorning his skin. For a doctor, he surprisingly has an athletic build, so you’re left wondering if he exercises regularly or played a sport in school. But oh, the way his scrubs cling to his meaty arms, stretch over his thick thighs. It’s almost ridiculous how baby-faced he is, especially compared to his Adonis-like body.
Without you knowing, your ears and tail stand to attention, curious about this newcomer.
The doctor flashes you a pearly smile as he reaches a hand towards you. “(y/n)? I’m Doctor Midoriya. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Doctor Midoriya.
Yeah, you like the sound of that. And the way your name rolls off your tongue? Perfection.
Hesitantly, you reach out a hand and grasp onto his for a handshake. His hand is large, fingers long and spindly, and his grip is strong. They’re actually pretty, dotted with freckles and striped with scars. Interesting, you muse, wondering just exactly what he did to get scars like that.
“So,” Doctor Midoriya starts, pulling away and planting himself on the stool stationed by the counter, “doggification, huh? You have a typical hybrid quirk, so it seems.” Pausing for a moment, he glances at his notes attached to his clipboard. “But, since you’re part Doberman pinscher, you suffer from dilated cardiomyopathy. The breed usually has problems regarding that, right?”
You nod in confirmation. “Yeah. Apparently, many owners don’t know their dogs have it until they collapse on the ground. I uh, I’ve been dealing with this my whole life, so….”
You really, really like the gentle expression Doctor Midoriya gives you. His cheeks look squishy despite his sharp jawline, lips a delicate shade of dusty rose… Shit, he’s beautiful yet he chose to become a doctor.
“Doctor Torino left his previous files, and I’ve been studying them before he retired,” he explains, drawing himself to a stand. “He was great, wasn’t he? I’m sorry if I don’t own up to your expectations.” Crossing over to the table, he unloops the stethoscope from around his neck and sticks the buds in his ears. “I need you to breathe in and out for me, nice and slow,” he tells you, pressing the cool metal to your chest.
You go through the usual routines, inhaling and exhaling deeply. Doctor Midoriya hums in which you assume is a good way; you can feel your skin heating up whenever large green eyes flick to your face, digging in right to your soul.
“It’s okay to be nervous,” he says, voice low. The deep rumble sets your nerves alight, your insides pulsing. Dare you say it, but you’re disappointed when he pulls away, looping the stethoscope back around his neck. He scribbles something onto his clipboard, his lips pursed in thought. You take the opportunity to study his side profile, the dainty curve of his nose, the angle of his jaw. How big is this guy, anyway? He’s huge for a doctor.
“I’m six-three, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he chirps, tossing down his pencil. He laughs at the startled expression playing on your face. “Sorry, sorry… A uh, a lot of people ask me that, you know? And I typically get a good read on what people are thinking, so… Yeah! Some people used to call me tree in med school! You know, because of the green hair and all…” Clearing his throat awkwardly, he walks back over to where you sit. “How have you been feeling since your last visit?”
Subconsciously rubbing at your chest, you send him a mere shrug. “I’ve been better, I’ve been worse. I’m just bummed Doctor Torino left on such short notice.”
“That makes two of us,” Doctor Midoriya admits, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. “He’s such a great mentor and all, don’t get me wrong, but it sucks that his time is up.”
Cocking your head, your ears twitch with interest. “Mentor?”
At that, Doctor Midoriya’s face lights up. “Oh! Yeah! I had my internship with Doctor Torino, and he taught me so much!”
“Internship…? Really? I don’t remember seeing you around whenever I had appointments with him.”
“Nah, I don’t think so. I would’ve remembered seeing someone like you!” He giggles – giggles – at his own words, but then it quickly dies down as realization crosses his features. “Wait, wait!” he says frantically, waving his hands before him. “I didn’t mean to sound creepy or anything like that! It’s just that you don’t see hybrids very often, and you’re a dog, and I happen to really like dogs, and I-“ His yammering turns into an incoherent mumble, then, as he awkwardly wrings his hands together.
Heh. He’s pretty cute.
“It’s okay to be nervous,” you say, shooting his own words back at him. “You’re a newbie, right? You’re awfully young for a doctor.”
To your pleasant surprise, Doctor Midoriya blushes. Instinctively, he claps a hand over his mouth and looks away. Again, he clears his throat. “I graduated last year, actually. So yeah, I’m still new to this whole thing, but I want to help as much as I can!” Turning back to you, his flustered expression melts into a determined one. “And since you’re my first serious patient, you can rely on me. I promise to take real good care of you, mark my words.”
You smile. “I look forward to it, Doctor. I expect you to keep that promise.”
-
Three months. Three solid months.
Hypothetically, you should be thrilled being in Doctor Midoriya’s presence so often. Realistically, it’s pure torture.
How this guy doesn’t realize he’s easily the hottest person in the room is beyond you, plus his personality is downright adorable. It’s funny, really, how you’re the one with the dog quirk yet he’s the one who acts more like one. He gets excited over the simplest of things, and you were quick to realize that he’s a giant nerd. It’s clear that he’s got a brain in that skull of his – and, if you’re being entirely honest, it makes Doctor Midoriya that much more attractive.
His constant murmuring and chippering never fail to put a smile on your face. With every appointment you have with him, you purposefully bring up a topic he’s bound to show some interest in just to hear him talk. So yeah, you might be infatuated with your insanely hot doctor, but who can blame you? He’s kindhearted, smart, good-looking, has a good job…. Okay, and maybe he’s packing down south. It’s not your fault that his scrubs clung to his body that one time. You just happened to notice it.
You doubt he’s doing these kind of things on accident. Hell, Doctor Midoriya blatantly flirts with you, for crying out loud. Well, it’s actually more subtle than that, but the point still stands.
“(y/n)?” Doctor Midoriya calls out as he enters the room, the door sliding shut behind him. Warmth floods your chest as your tail sets off in a slow wag. He laughs at your reaction, that toothy smile of his forming on his face. Just like every other time he shows it, you fall a little bit deeper for him.
“Doctor Midoriya,” you greet. Your fingers dig into the table as you bite down on your bottom lip. He looks good, dark blue scrubs shaping his figure nicely. You, on the other hand, stick to a simple pair of gym shorts and t-shirt. It’s a hot day outside, after all.
As Doctor Midoriya scribbles something down on his handy clipboard, you slowly spread your legs further apart. It’s a slight bit, nothing more, but the movement seems to catch his attention. Setting down his pencil, you notice how his eyes linger on your bared thighs for a moment longer than what’s considered appropriate. Slipping the stethoscope from around his neck, he gets up from his stool and crosses to wear you sit.
“Any problems lately?” he asks, voice as professional as always. Sneaky bastard, trying to pretend like he wasn’t just staring at your thighs.
“Besides the weather, not really. The heat makes things a bit easier, though,” you tell him.
Doctor Midoriya hums. Pressing the end of the stethoscope to your chest, he tells you to breathe in and out, nice and deep. “I’m not hearing any abnormalities in your breathing,” he says simply, switching to your back instead. “Besides the DCM, you’re in wonderful health.”
“That’s a relief,” you mutter.
He continues to go through the regular routine of your biweekly checkup. Soon enough, he’s looking through a scope at your dog ears, checking for any signs of an incoming infection. Try as you might, but you enjoy the way he caresses your ear, leaning into his touch as your tail takes off wagging. Doctor Midoriya chuckles, indulging in your wants and giving your ears a proper scratch.
“You really are like a dog,” he points out, his tone lighthearted. “A cute little puppy.” And there he goes, blessing your ears with his giggle. As you glance at him, you see the pretty blush adorning his cheeks, the gleam of mirth in his large eyes.
Puppy.
For some ungodly reason, you really like the way it sounds coming from his mouth.
“You shouldn’t be referring to your patients with a pet name, Doctor,” you drawl.
The blush on his face darkens. In true fashion, he hastily looks away and awkwardly coughs into his fist. “My apologies,” he murmurs. “If… If it’s any consolation, your ears are really soft…”
A small smile pulls at the corners of your lips. “I’m only teasing,” you reassure.
He flinches.
Teasing.
“Besides, you said you really like dogs, right? I think puppy is cute.”
Doctor Midoriya looks back to you. “…Really?”
You nod. “I do.”
For a moment, neither one of you say anything. The look in Doctor Midoriya’s eyes is unreadable; whether that’s a good thing or not, you’re not entirely too sure. He’s usually easy to get a read on, but like this… It’s nearly impossible.
“Do you mind if we check your flexibility? It’s just touching your toes, nothing more. If your back is out, I’ll recommend some chiropractors.”
Okay, strange. You figure he wants to change the subject – you know, and do his job – so you do as he says, hopping down from the table and stepping away. As you bend over, your fingertips skimming the toes of your sneakers, large hands splay out on your back. You jolt from the contact, your breath catching in your throat. Their movements are calculated, feeling along your spine for any sort of abnormality. You can practically feel Doctor Midoriya’s eyes boring into you; the hairs on your arms and the back of your neck come a stand as you wait for him to do something, anything.
“Your spine feels fine,” he tells you. “You feel a bit tense, though. Do you bend over a lot?”
Excuse me?
You scoff. “I’m bending over right now, aren’t I?”
Doctor Midoriya makes some weird choking sound. “No, no, that’s not what I meant! I meant when you sit or something like that…!”
“I’m teasing, Doctor. Relax.” You wiggle underneath his touch. “Am I allowed to stand straight now?”
You can practically feel the tension radiating off him. “I… Not yet. I need to check one last thing, okay?” Again, he uses that low, husky pitch, the one that reverberates deep in his chest. This is only the second time you’re hearing it, but fuck does it make your insides squeeze and your breath hitch.
Before your mind can completely register it, Doctor Midoriya’s large hands are on your ass, kneading the ample flesh through your shorts. A slight groan slips from your mouth at the unexpected contact. Shit, his hands are even larger than you originally thought, his grip rough and demanding.
“Does it hurt?” he continues, his voice staying as it is, making your brain turn delirious.
“N-no,” you stutter. You immediately cuss yourself out internally. A sharp gasp breaks from your throat as one of his hands grips the base of your tail and gives it a slight tug.
“How about now?”
You wince as he does it again. “Yes, okay?” you seethe through clenched teeth. “Just don’t… Don’t tug on my tail like that.”
“So, your ears and tail are sensitive,” Doctor Midoriya mumbles to himself. “Interesting.”
“Doctor, what are you even going on about-“
At that very moment, those strong hands of his yank you backwards, your ass colliding with his pelvis. Heart leaping to your throat, you’re left scrambling for a shred of reality. Doctor Midoriya leans over you, his muscular chest pressing into your back. He’s so warm, and he oddly smells like mint, but it’s not like you’re going to complain anytime soon.
“This is such a bad idea,” he confesses into your ear, “but you’re just so cute, puppy. You like it when I call you that, right?”
“Doctor-“
“Tell me to stop,” he continues, a frantic edge to his voice now, “tell me I’m a disgusting pervert. I shouldn’t be doing this, but shit… I’ve been fantasizing about holding you this close.” Subconsciously, he rocks his hips into you, his engorged cock grinding into your ass.
Shit, shit, is this really happening? Your doctor has just fessed up to fantasizing about you, and, to be quite frank, you’re a bit too happy to hear that. It’s not like he’s the only one feeling this way; you’ve had your fair share of dreams over the months, most of them with him in between your legs in some fashion.
Straightening up, you reach back and grab him by the back of the neck, balancing yourself in his grip. A breathless noise fills your ear as you grind back against him, your nails scratching into his nape.
“O-oh,” he says, the sound delightfully raspy as it fills your ear.
“You aren’t the only one who’s been thinking of things,” you confess, your voice sounding equally as strained. Again, some unholy noise slips from his dusty lips, the grip on your hips tightening ever so slightly.
“Puppy… Don’t say things like that.”
You bark out a laugh. “Don’t tell me you’re going soft, Doctor. Acting like you’re in charge one moment and then like a scared little bunny the next. A big boy like you should choose one and stick with it.”
Now you’ve done it. Like merely flicking a switch, Doctor Midoriya moans into your ear as he spins you around and stumbles backwards, ass landing on the examination table with you in tow. You squeak in surprise as he easily drags you into his lap, lifting you up as though you weighed next to nothing. The lustful haze in his eyes is evident, the blush adorning his face making his freckles pop.
“Shit,” you curse, eyelids fluttering as his cock rubs frantically against your ass. Again, another surprised noise escapes your mouth as he bounces you in his lap, his clothed erection grinding against your ass and sex. A sliver of tongue peeks from between his teeth, the gleam in his eyes nothing short of determination.
“This is so wrong,” Doctor Midoriya murmurs, his fingertips digging harshly into your ass. “But you like it, right? Right, puppy? You want me to fuck you, right? Right?”
Goddammit-
“Yes,” you grit, fingers clutching at his broad shoulders while your tail impatiently smacks against his thighs. “Come on, Doc, treat me like the good little puppy I am.”
You should’ve expected this, really. An almost animalistic whimper bursts from the back of his throat as he surges forward, shoving his tongue into your mouth. He tastes like cherry lip balm and the lingering sweetness of a cough drop – it’s an odd mixture, but not one that you dislike. Months of built-up tension are finally breaking free from the dam, desperate movements and slurred words quickly taking over your mind. Doctor Midoriya is somewhat sloppy with his kisses, but the way he sucks on your tongue and grinds his cock into you is heavenly.
Fingers skimming over the swell of his pecs and the rigid lines of his abs, Doctor Midoriya shudders at your fluttering touch. You swallow his moan as your hands drift under the shirt of his scrubs, heated skin and a fine trail of hair greeting your fingertips.
Pulling away, Doctor Midoriya pants heavily as you continue to pet his lower abdomen, his cock twitching beneath you. “Wait, wait,” he breathes, hands inching around towards your front, “can we – Can we touch each other?”
“As long as you keep quiet,” you murmur, tongue flicking across your lower lip. “Don’t want the others to know that Doctor Midoriya is a bad boy, hmm?” At that, a high-pitched groan emits from his chest as you shove your hand under the band of his underwear, hand circling around the base of his cock.
“Fuck, puppy, that feels good…”
Quickly following your lead, he slips a hand into your undies; his strong fingers immediately seek out the sensitive spot of your sex, causing your back to arch into his touch. A low, drawn out curse seeps from your mouth as you feel your arousal starting to coat his fingers.
“I guess being a doctor has its benefits, huh?” Doctor Midoriya mutters, tone dropping into that husky pitch once more. Even more of your arousal practically gushes over his fingers, your insides tightening around nothing. Two can play at this game, dammit.
Soon, the two of you are heavily petting each other, wrists flicking and fingers digging into sensitive flesh perfectly. Both your ears and tail lay flat as you pant into his neck, your thighs beginning to quiver with want. Doctor Midoriya isn’t fairing any better, his cock weeping precum as he mumbles incoherently. Maybe it’s the enticing little pants breaking through his puffy lips, or maybe it’s the sinful schlick schlick of your hand around his fat cock, but fuck do you want him inside of you, fucking you stupid.
“Doctor,” you purr, pushing yourself up onto your knees. “Have I been a good puppy? Will you fuck me with your cock and make me yours?” You nearly smile as he twitches in your hand at your filthy words.
Feebly nodding, Doctor Midoriya reluctantly pulls his hands away from you, opting to yank down his bottoms and underwear so they’re stretched around his meaty thighs instead. Your mouth practically waters at the sight of his cock – darker than the rest of his skin and veiny like his hands, he’s just as big as you expected, maybe even bigger. Still, you hastily yank down your own offensive clothing and slip back onto his lap, hovering over his twitching cock.
Doctor Midoriya thickly swallows. “I’m… I’m clean. You don’t have to worry- Fuck, oh my god!” Slapping a hand over his mouth, he groans deeply as you sheathe yourself on him, eyes nearly rolling towards the back of your head at the stretch. Yeah, he’s definitely huge.
For a moment, you allow yourself to grow used to the feeling of him inside. This is really happening; all caution is being thrown to the wind, repercussions be damned. He’s finally in your grasp, and you don’t plan on letting him go any time soon. “You said you wanted to fuck me, Doctor,” you mutter into his ear, your hips beginning to swivel. “Do it like you mean it.”
Again, that determined expression crosses his features. “With a challenge like that, who I am to decline?” Adjusting his grip on your ass, he easily lifts you up and drops you back on his cock, eliciting a breathy moan to fall from your swollen lips. “Don’t worry, puppy – as your doctor, I’m going to take real good care of you…"
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha x reader#bnha x reader#midoriya x reader#deku x reader#midoriya izuku x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#mha midoriya#bnha midoriya
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Covered In Skin
Prompt by Laura @bohoartist for the MSR Smut Exchange 2021;
One of them (your choice) is dealing with some sore muscles while away on a case. This leads to the other giving them a massage in one of their motel rooms. One thing leads to another... yaddayaddayadda. First Time Sex please.
This is for the lovely Laura! Your prompt was so fun to write and I really hope you enjoy it! <3 Part of the MSR Smut Exchange 2021! I had so much fun participating in this event!
Also available to read on ao3
Mulder pulls a muscle during an assignment and Scully is only too happy to give him a massage in his motel room. One thing leads to another and first time sex ensues. Set early season 7. Fic for the MSR Smut Exchange 2021.
Mulder/Scully || Smut || 9.4k words || Rating E (Explicit for smut)
“Mulder! He’s headed your way!” Scully shouted, gun raised, eyes focused as the suspect made a turn away from her.
She watched as Mulder lunged out from the corner, bringing both his own body and that of the suspect to the pavement. Scully grimaced at the noise, lowering her gun now that Mulder had the suspect pinned under his knee. The safety was flipped and her gun put back into its holster as she made her way towards him. Police removed the suspect and left Scully to help her partner to his feet, smiling up at him as her hand shielded her eyes from the sun.
“Nice job there, Mulder. I didn’t take you for the tackling type.” Scully mused, her tone light.
“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me yet, Scully,” Mulder teased as he brushed dirt from his pants. “I’m not just going to give all my tricks away at once.”
Her eyes rolled but she was unable to stop the slight tug of a smile on her lips as he bumped her shoulder playfully while both of them walked behind the police who loaded the suspect into the car. They had been called onto this case for an extra set of hands and though it wasn’t an X file, even Mulder had jumped at the opportunity to get off desk duty. It was a fairly simple drug bust, but Scully missed how her pulse pounded and how her adrenaline surged from being out on the field again. They stopped to watch the police car drive away and Scully crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes squinting once again against the sun.
Mulder looked down at her with soft eyes, placing his hand on her lower back; a sign of comfort, support, and - recently discovered - affection. Scully felt herself relax into his familiar caress. How can a simple touch make me feel so comforted and at the same time make me feel like shaking?
She wasn’t sure what had formed between them, they had exchanged a few odd kisses here and there over the past few months, which Scully had to admit were new and exciting. It had started one night when she had felt particularly bold, he had dropped her off at home and she’d taken a leap of faith and stood up onto her toes to kiss him. It had been short and sweet and had left her with a shy smile from the look of pleasant surprise etched onto his face. Then it had happened again, this time he had taken the initiative and kissed her at work. It was gentle and at first she had been taken aback by his forwardness, but then he had said she looked beautiful and she’d wanted to kiss him again. So she had.
Neither spoke of what it meant but it was nice nonetheless. That night they shared in his hotel room in Bellefleur, just talking into the early hours of the morning all those years ago, sparked her initial attraction to him, to his brilliance and remarkable mind. It wasn’t until later that the attraction expanded to his body too. Scully couldn’t speak for Mulder, but she knew her own hesitations towards the progression of her feelings for him. She was scared, even if it made her angry to see herself so succumbed to that fear. They were gravitating towards each other in a bubble and she feared the moment the bubble would burst, that the after effects would ruin the relationship they had before. But in their bubble she just couldn’t stop herself from constantly being sucked into his energy and inviting eyes. Eyes that seemed to captivate her for a moment now as he smiled down at her and led her towards their rental car. Her body hummed with the feeling of his strong hand on her back. So warm .
---♡---
Once they arrived at the hotel, the sun had only just set so they arranged to make use of their spare time and finish their paperwork. Scully took her time to shower and change into something more comfortable before she knocked on his door, files under her arm and glasses in hand. The air conditioning made their rooms much more accommodating than the heat outside, though Scully had still opted for silk shorts and matching singlet. Gone were the days of keeping herself overly covered in his presence; she had found herself gaining confidence around him and secretly loved the way his eyes would linger on her, finally outwardly admiring her as someone desirable. It gave her such a thrill.
It wasn’t long before Scully heard him shuffle on the other side of the door and open it with a smile. She took in his appearance; wet hair, shirt stuck to some wet spots on his skin and a pair of simple sweatpants. She was well aware he usually slept in nothing but his boxers; having been greeted by the sight in the early mornings when he answered the door rubbing sleep from his eyes. Is he being considerate to me by wearing these? Should I have been more considerate to him and changed into something more appropriate? She swallowed a slight hiccup of breath when she saw him completely transfixed on the expanse of her bare legs before his eyes moved to her chest and she felt her nipples tighten in response. His eyes met hers and she noticed his cheeks blushing. Scully could feel herself growing warm. So maybe he doesn’t mind me wearing this.
Mulder raised up his arm and Scully smiled as she ducked her head and slipped under and into the room, looking around the room with a sigh. The hotel was nice but it didn’t give much in the way of work spaces. She opted for the floor in front of the coffee table, legs crossed and tucked under her as he stood by the door for a moment.
“You okay on the floor, Scully?” He walked towards her but seemed hesitant to sit on the chair. “You can have the chair.”
“It’s fine, Mulder. I’m quite comfortable down here.”
He watched as she slid on her glasses and he finally sat down on the chair doing the same. They worked in silence, only the occasional question asked between them. With him, even silence was a comfort and Scully worked better with him next to her and the sound of his pen scrawling over paper. It reminded her of them working in their old basement office before the fire. Their old office. They continued to work and Scully was only brought out of her concentration when she heard a groan, Mulder stretching and rolling his neck. She studied him out of the corner of her eye for a moment as Mulder continued, discomfort evident on his face.
“Are you alright, Mulder?” She asked, her head tilted and tone curious.
“I’m fine,” Mulder groaned again. “Just pulled a muscle or something. Maybe tackling that guy wasn’t the smartest idea I’ve had.”
Mulder rarely showed discomfort, so Scully knew it must be uncomfortable for him. She put her glasses down and got to her feet, walking towards the bed.
“Come on. Lay down and let me give you a massage. It will help with the pain and loosen up those muscles of yours.” Scully gave the bed a pat. “Your body is probably tense in an attempt to protect the area you hurt.”
“A massage?” Mulder looked at her with a glint in his eyes. “Well, how can a guy turn down an offer like that?”
Mulder made his way towards the bed and stopped in front of her, his eyes flicking between her and the bed for a few awkward moments as his fingers hesitated in the idea of removing his shirt. In the end he chose against it and crawled onto the bed face down, a pillow pushed under his cheek for support.
“This okay? Or should I wiggle back so you can reach?” He teased.
“Shut up, Mulder,” Scully retorted in jest and rolled her eyes, climbing onto the bed and kneeling at his side as she rubbed her hands together in an attempt to warm them. “The position you are in is just fine. Push your luck and you’ll get nothing.” It was an empty threat and Mulder knew it because he just smiled and tucked one arm under the pillow.
Scully looked down at him and thought about the best way to tackle the situation before she found a spark of courage and threw caution to the wind. She rested her hands on his back before tugging at his shirt. “It will be easier if you take this off.” Scully had to bite a retort in her throat as he looked back at her with a cocked eyebrow. A playful scowl, though, was enough for him to close his mouth. Pulling the shirt over his head, Mulder revealed the vast expanse of his back to her. Scully’s eyes raked over him and for the first time she let herself admire his physique. He really is attractive. Mulder adjusted himself and got back into a comfortable position.
Straddling his thighs, a slight blush crept onto across her nose when she heard a soft moan slip from his lips. He felt hot and smooth as she ran her hands up the middle of his back with enough pressure that evoked a content rumble. Scully knew these muscles like the back of her hand but everything left her brain after a few moments of her hands on his skin. Instinct kicked in and she followed the curve of his spine, allowing her weight to travel down to her fingers. Mulder’s head tilted with a soft smile on his lips, his bottom lip pouted out in relaxation. That bottom lip looks so goddamn kissable . She shook her head in an attempt to erase the lustful thought, which caused her hair to fall and curtain her face. Good. Now maybe he can’t see me looking at that fucking lip of his.
Scully rose to her knees and shuffled forward so her hands could reach his shoulder as she worked her way towards the area that caused him pain. Settling on his ass, her eyes focused on how his skin rippled under her the movement of her fingers until Mulder suddenly jolted away from her.
“Is that where it’s uncomfortable?” Scully questioned, easing the pressure off slightly as she looked down at him with warm eyes.
“Yeah,” Mulder nodded. “Keep going though. Feels amazing, Scully.”
Scully pressed harder once again and settled back into a rhythm as Mulder moved his head and rested it back into the pillow, shielding his eyes from her. His muscles soon relaxed under her touch as she continued to work, a deep blush blossoming on her cheeks, and a warmth soon settled in her stomach as she bounced slightly against his ass with every movement of her hands. The way the curve of his right ass cheek managed to hit just the right spot applied a delicious pressure between her legs. Stop, god, you need to stop right now . She knew she should but she didn’t seem to have control over how her hips rocked gently against him. Scully heard a sudden intake of breath and she stilled instantly. Was that noise from me or him? She couldn’t be sure and she mentally chastised herself for being so focused on the feeling of him underneath her to maintain awareness. Suddenly everything seemed deathly quiet and she could swear she could hear her heartbeat.
“Keep going.” Mulder whispered just loud enough for her to hear.
There was a sudden shift in the air as Scully swallowed, her fingers continuing once more, this time making a solid attempt to keep her hips still. He wanted her to continue the massage and she would keep herself professional and do just that. Though it was impractical to keep them completely still and she couldn’t help the slight movement as she bore her weight down into her hands. Scully bit her lip and tried to focus on her fingers moving against his muscles, which became increasingly harder when she felt fingertips brushing delicately against her knee. Don’t look. Just keep going. She tried, but after a few moments she looked down and saw Mulder’s fingers playing with the skin of her knee with his head still planted firmly into the bed. Is he aware he is doing it?
Scully said nothing and the more it continued the more she didn’t want it to stop. Every touch sent butterflies to her stomach and it was those butterflies that spurred her on, to rock her hips again now unable to stop her natural instinct to seek relief of the heat she could feel between her legs. Scully bit her lip as a warmth crept up her chest. When did I become so aroused? The air seemed thick and she held back a moan when she felt his hips move beneath her. The way his hips rolled against the bed only added to the palpable tension of the room.
“S-Scully.” Mulder cleared his throat.
She opened her eyes when she heard her name. Wait, were my eyes closed? Scully looked down to meet his gaze, his eyes were almost black and his cheeks had a flush all of their own.
“I’m not sure this is the type of massage you signed up for,” he chuckled in an attempt to ease the tension between them, rolling his hips once again to keep his weight off the bed. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“Wha-oh!” Scully exclaimed.
It took a second for everything to register, then the flush of arousal on her cheeks was suddenly replaced by a deep blush of embarrassment. She removed her hands and quickly moved off him before moving back to sit on her knees. “I’m sorry Mulder, I didn’t realise.” Well that was a lie. It was obvious her movements had some effect on him, she could feel it in how he seemed to be dry humping the bed. Scully bit her lip and couldn’t take her eyes off him as he rolled over and she caught a glimpse of the erection tented in his pants, a small wet patch on the fabric. Mulder grabbed a pillow, pressing it into his lap as he moved to sit against the headboard.
“I’m sorry about this,” Mulder paused, looking at her with a childish blush of his cheeks as he nodded to the pillow before avoiding her gaze. “It will go away soon.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Scully felt his eyes on her again. He watched her with his bottom lip still pouted, though Scully now figured it was from arousal. God, how I want to kiss you. Scully licked her lips as her thoughts raced along with the rapid pounding of her pulse in her chest and between her legs. She had seen Mulder in all states of human emotion before. But arousal hadn’t been one of them until now and the way he looked at her kicked her hormones into overdrive. It was like the last six years of pent up energy hit her all at once and her body ached for him now that he was so close .
“I guess you just give one hell of a massage.” His voice was rough and low but he gave her a gentle smile.
She could tell he was trying to lighten the mood and she appreciated him for that; her lips curled into a small smile to show him she was thankful for his attempt to ease the tension between them. But her body was tuned into him now and she found herself unwilling to hold herself back any longer. Please, God. Don’t let this be a mistake. Please. A silent prayer was sent above as she got to her hands and knees and crawled towards him, stopping beside him before getting up onto her knees. Mulder watched every movement with a tightened grip on the pillow. They were now close enough to share the same breath as she reached out to trace his jaw with her thumbs and over the slight stubble on his chin. Her thumbs stopped on his lips as they pushed gently down on his bottom lip, the air thick and all Scully could feel was his warmth.
“Kiss me.” Scully said with a hushed whisper. She wanted him. Oh, how she wanted him.
Mulder searched her eyes and kissed her thumbs before arching his neck and meeting her lips. Oh, I forgot how soft his lips are . Scully moaned into his mouth as she tasted the salt and liquid warmth that was just so Mulder . She leaned forward and urged him to deepen the kiss with a lick of her tongue on his bottom lip and when he parted his lips, that was all the invitation she needed. When their tongues touched for the first time she felt a shiver shoot down her spine. This is new. They hadn’t shared anything but chaste kisses in the past and that was nothing compared to how he felt against her tongue. Mulder rumbled deep in his chest which caused Scully to whimper in return, allowing herself to be consumed by him. How have I not kissed him like this before? When on earth did he learn to kiss like this? I feel so hot. How can a kiss make me feel this hot? Damn him.
The kiss was heated and fervent and Scully found herself conflicted; she didn’t want it to end but she also wanted to turn and run in the opposite direction. Though that hesitation got smaller and smaller with every brush of his fingers on her skin and movement against her lips and when he nibbled on her bottom lip, her knees buckled with arousal. He pulled away from her sudden movement and she swallowed a whine of disapproval, sitting back down onto her heels. Her lips were hot and swollen as she caught her breath, his fingers still resting on her collarbones and every brush sent pulses down to her centre. He looked so beautiful in this state of arousal and she didn’t think it possible for his bottom lip to look even more kissable than before.
The air between them sat heavy as they both looked at each other and gathered their bearings. Scully found herself unsure of what to do; her mind and body were still conflicted, but the longer her eyes lingered on his lips, the more she found herself running out of excuses to push him away. There was a primal attraction and if he was willing, she wanted to submit to it and give herself to him. Well, only one way to find out. There’s no turning back now anyway, right? Scully moved one hand and reached for the pillow, intertwining her fingers with his as Mulder gripped the pillow tighter.
“Scully…You don-“
“I want to.” Scully’s voice was soft but firm.
Mulder searched her eyes before he relented. Scully felt her pulse quicken as she removed the pillow and threw it to the side of the bed, his eyes on her as she looked down to admire the full state of arousal he tried to shield from her. They had seen each other naked before and she hadn’t been able to stop herself from looking at him, purely out of curiosity, under the spray of the quarantine showers, but she had never seen him aroused and so proudly on display just for her.
A deep hunger settled in her body and she fought herself to not just reach out and touch him. I know that I want him. But I need to know that he wants this too. Straddling his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck for support and this time he was the first to make a move. He pulled her in for a kiss with a smile on his lips, one that Scully eagerly replied with one of own. Mulder’s smile faltered when she rubbed herself against him, pushing his erection flush between them. A groan fell from his lips as she rolled her hips, the friction delicious as Scully pulled away from the kiss, their foreheads pressing together as they continued to rock. His hands hovered above her exposed thighs, his fingers opening and closing in fists as his hips rolled with her, making serious attempts to thrust against her damp centre. He’s so eager and man do I want him inside me.
Her eyes watched him as he fought with himself, obviously unsure if he could touch her like he wanted to. Is he hesitant to push me too far? There was something inside her that felt guilty for how she pushed him away so much in the past. He looked at her confused when she stopped her hips before she reached down and took his hands in hers, putting them on her thighs to give him encouragement.
“You can touch me. I want you to touch me,” Scully coaxed, her voice soft and husky. “Please, Mulder.”
Scully sucked in a breath as she allowed him to move his hands up her thighs, resting her hands on his arms in a soft hold as he explored her skin. Mulder guided his hands under the thin fabric of her shirt and her hips began to move again, her body now pulled flush against him. She bit her lip as he looked down at her breasts pushed against his chest and her nipples hardened from the sensation. Mulder’s hands moved to grasp her ass with no hesitation now as he encouraged the movement of her hips. Yes, touch me.
“You have no idea how long I have wanted to feel you in my lap like this.” Mulder remarked with a smile on his lips that Scully could only describe as a smirk of pure lust. His thumbs tucked into her underwear and the touch was so intimate it caused arousal to flood from her centre.
“I’ve wanted it too,” Scully bowed her head with a smirk which only made Mulder’s smile grow. “I still want it.”
Scully moved to kiss him with instantly parted lips, inviting him to deepen the kiss with enthusiasm. His hands held her tight as he gave a sharp thrust of his hips, causing Scully to give a high pitched sigh as she bit his lip once before resting her nose on his cheek.
“I need you.” Scully whispered.
Her hands slid down between them and rested either side of the erection tented in his pants as her fingers itched to touch him. He’s so close . Scully shifted back and his hips stilled as she looked at him with pleading eyes.
“Please, Scully.”
Her whole body quivered as a sharp jolt of arousal shot through her at how he begged her. Fuck, Mulder, you need to beg me again . She bit her bottom lip, removed his pants and watched how his erection sprung itself free and lay hard and swollen against his stomach. God, you are so beautiful . The tip of his cock leaked for her and it nearly made her whimper. Nearly. His fingers tangled in her hair as they kissed, his thumbs brushing her cheeks in affection that made Scully’s heart jump. Trust didn’t come easy for her and especially not in the bedroom, but right now she trusted Mulder with her body. He smiled into the kiss and gasped when Scully’s fingertips brushed the underside of his cock, her blunt nails dragging softly from base to tip.
“I didn’t know a bed could get you so aroused, Mulder.” Scully purred.
Mulder opened his eyes, looking at her smirking in affection while her nails continued to tease him. “You know full well it wasn’t the bed, Scully.”
“No. I guess it wasn’t.” Scully bit her bottom lip as she watched Mulder’s head fall backwards with pleasure.
She wrapped her fingers around his cock and began to stroke up and down. Mulder was so warm and his skin so soft in her hand as she collected his precum and used it to coat her fingertips so she could glide easier against his cock. Mulder groaned, gripping the sheets as he started to thrust his hips in a desperate attempt to achieve some relief. Taking her time, Scully marvelled at the different moans and gasps she brought out of him with the different movements of her hand; like a twist of her wrist or a squeeze of the tip of his cock. She caught him off guard when she cupped his scrotum and his hips jolted up, parting his thighs to allow more space as her hand sped up. Soon though, Mulder stopped her.
“Wait. I want to touch you too.” Mulder cleared his throat. “And if you keep doing that this is going to end much quicker than either of us want.”
Scully blushed in understanding. “I want you to touch me too.” Fuck how I want you to touch me .
Mulder nodded as Scully stood up on shaky legs as she removed her shorts, her fingers resting on the band of her underwear. She watched how Mulder visibly swallowed, eyes fixated on her. Scully would have been embarrassed with how wet she knew she was if she wasn’t already so far gone. He was so close to where she desperately wanted him and her eyes nearly bulged out of her head when she felt his forehead on her stomach, his hands resting on the back of her thighs, holding her against him. Scully whimpered and her body arched into him when he placed a tender kiss on her underwear. This man is going to be the death of me.
He sat back and it gave her space to take a breath before removing her underwear. Mulder helped her back to her knees, her chest heaving as he touched her. O-Oh . His fingers slipped between her folds and she parted her legs further to let him explore. The way he touched her was soft but firm. No comment was made about the slick sounds from his fingers exploring her wetness, but her arousal seemed to only spur him on. She gripped his shoulder to keep herself balanced as she closed her eyes. Mmm keep going. Please keep going. Mulder’s fingers brushed over her clit and her knees shook as Mulder helped her to straddle him once again. As he collected her wetness onto his fingers, nuzzling into her neck, Scully couldn’t help arching into him.
“God, Scully,” Mulder moaned, his breath tickling her ear. “Is this for me?”
“Yes,” Scully gasped when his fingers teased her entrance. “All for you.”
Scully’s toes curled and her hips shifted closer in an attempt to achieve more stimulation as her hands wrapped around him, his chin resting on her shoulder with his lips brushed against her neck. Her breath was harsh when his fingers finally entered her. Yes. Mmm yes. Scully moaned when he started a gentle rhythm of fingers inside and his thumb against her clit. Her body craved more and it was if he read her mind, adding another finger and curling them to hit the soft spot against her inner walls which caused her inner muscles to grip him tightly.
“Yes.” It was a whisper against his skin as she rocked her hips, focusing on the pleasure that he sparked inside her.
It was like she felt him everywhere all at once, his scent filling her nose and she felt nothing but the warmth radiating from him. She needed to feel him, it was a sudden urge deep down that craved the skin on skin contact. Scully pulled away and he arched an eyebrow before she bit her bottom lip and pulled her shirt over her head.
She heard him suck in a breath as his eyes stared at her stomach. Scully looked down and watched his thumb brush against the gold ring in her belly button with a glint in his eyes.
“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to have a piercing,” Mulder teased. “Knowing you have this under those suits of yours…there’s just something so incredibly hot about that, Scully.”
Scully chuckled at his captivation. “Just my piercing?”
He looked back up at her but stopped when he caught sight of her breasts, her nipples hard, dusky pink and desperate for his touch. Scully could have laughed at the look on his face, like he had momentarily forgotten she was naked and was caught off guard by seeing her breasts for the first time. She had seen Mulder aroused, but the look in his eyes now as he admired her was something else. It was just pure unadulterated hunger and she felt a shiver.
“Definitely not just the piercing. Jesus, Scully.” Mulder praised.
Mulder’s eyes never left her breasts, and her nipples - if it was possible - grew harder under his gaze. Stop looking and just put that mouth on me alre-Oh! She didn’t have time to speak, even her thoughts faltered when he leaned down and licked the valley between her breasts before wrapping his lips around her nipple.
“Oh. Mmm.” Scully breathed out.
Her head fell back and her hips rocked harder against his willing fingers, his mouth hot and wet around her. She just wanted to be completely consumed by him and that fucking talented mouth of his. It was easy to fall and get lost in how his tongue swirled around her and she jolted back to reality with a sharp pulse of arousal to her clit as he bit down on her nipple.
“F-Fuck!” Scully gasped with a high pitched whine.
Mulder paused instantly and looked up at her, her eyes snapping open with a whimper as she looked to him with pleading eyes. Why did you stop? Don’t stop! She was about to open her mouth and complain when she felt his fingers ram into her suddenly, the wind sucked out of her lungs, her muscles clamping around his fingers in appreciation. The new pace made it hard to keep eye contact with him, but the look of awe and lust he gave her seemed to make it unavoidable.
“Say it again.” Mulder commanded, his fingers thrusting into her again.
Her body jolted forward, her head lulling to the side when he returned to her chest, now focused on the nipple he ignored the first time. It took her a moment, but she smirked when her brain realised what he was talking about. Oh, so that’s it. You like to hear me curse. She was going to retort with a smart remark but her brain lost function when he bit down on her sensitive bud again.
“Fuck.” Scully whimpered, her fingers threading through Mulder’s hair. “So good.”
She felt him smirk against her and the warmth between her legs began to grow, her body completely tuned into him and the way he worked her higher towards that peak. Her thighs shook and as much as she loved him against her chest she needed his lips again. Her fingers tugged at his hair, pulling him to her again, the kiss messy and hot, just what she needed. She panted and rocked her hips harder against him as she felt his hips take full advantage of their closer position, his cock bumping against her pelvic bone on every thrust of his hips and she found it incredibly arousing that he was getting so caught up in what he was doing to her.
Scully was getting closer as his fingers sped up, his thumb unrelenting against her clit and she found herself needing to touch him. Fuck, I’m so close, and you’re going to come with me, Mulder. I want you to come with me. Her hand slipped between them and her thumb collected his precum before sliding down slickly and in time with how his fingers worked inside her. He groaned loudly as his head fell back and Scully took the opportunity to lick the exposed column of his neck, her eyes fluttering closed when the saltiness of his skin hit her tongue. Mmm you taste exquisite. Mulder gave a loud moan as his hips shot upwards, his fingers faltering for a moment when she bit the underside of his jaw.
“Hold on.” He stopped her hand and intertwined their fingers with a smirk. “I can’t think properly when you do that. And I’m trying to make you come here.”
“But I want to come with you,” Scully replied, tugging his hand to her lips and kissing it, so desperate to have him inside of her. “I need you inside me. Please.”
Mulder’s fingers paused as they kissed again before he removed his fingers, much to Scully’s reluctance, changing their positions. It ended in tangled limbs and they both laughed, Scully on her back with him settled between her legs. They continued to chuckle together as they kissed, Scully’s hands on his arms as they kept his weight off her. It was sudden, the way the air shifted and their chuckles died down, looking into each other’s eyes, Mulder brushing her hair away from her face. All previous hesitations she had before were gone and she wanted nothing more than for him to take her.
“Please, Mulder.” Scully begged. She wasn’t normally one to beg, but her body needed the release he had promised earlier, already completely on edge.
Her legs widened in invitation as he kissed her, the kiss seemingly different than the ones before. This was slow and warm and it seemed to convey all the feelings he had for her without words, her heart thumping in her chest and her fingers gripping his arms in an attempt to keep herself grounded. She had never felt such almost overwhelming affection before and it took her breath away. I need him. I need him. I need him. It was a mantra in her head as her fingers slinked down to rest on his stomach, his muscles rippling under her touch.
“I need you, Scully,” He got to his knees and stroked himself as she watched him. “I can’t wait anymore.”
Scully nodded and bit her lip. “I need you too.”
She got to her elbows and watched him as he slid his cock through her folds, gathering her arousal and using it to lubricate himself. There was something so erotic about the sight that Scully felt her clit pulse with her heartbeat and arousal drip down to the bed. Can’t he see how ready I am for him? Stop fucking teasing! She arched her hips and gave him a raised eyebrow and was about to tell him to hurry up when his strong hand held her hips down, her head falling back when he pushed against her and slipped inside.
“Yes!” Scully moaned loudly.
Mulder’s bottom lip was tight between his teeth as he continued to slide inside with little resistance with how aroused she was and every inch he moved inside her felt incredible. They watched their bodies coming together until he was flush against her and her head thumped back against the pillow. Fuck, yes! That’s what I’m talking about. He adjusted his position and she wrapped her legs around the back of his knees to hold him close against her. Their lips met in a deep kiss as she took her time to adjust to him, her inner muscles fluttering against him with a hum of approval. His hips flexed when her muscles relaxed and she gave him a squeeze with her legs to encourage him to move.
He moved and she had to break the kiss in order to take a sharp breath as she dug her nails into his skin, Mulder’s head falling forward and his hot breath panted against her skin as he struggled to maintain a slow, gentle pace. She admired the way he cared for her but she was already so desperate, she needed to feel him and feel how much he wanted her. Scully’s fingers moved down to rest on his ass, gripping his cheeks firmly, her hands moving in time with his hips.
“Don’t hold back,” Scully emphasised her words with a tight grip of his cock with her inner muscles. “Show me how much you want me.”
Mulder grunted against her before he moved his hips more eagerly as he exposed her neck and wasted no time in kissing and sucking the soft skin behind her ear. Cheeky. She was sure it would leave a mark but she was too far gone to care. All she needed was for him to keep going, his mouth was right on her ear and the way his hot breath tickled her made her back arch.
“I want you so much,” Mulder’s hips continued to thrust, the slapping of their skin and panting breaths, the only sounds in the room. “I’ll always want you.”
Her vision became slightly blurred as she captured his lips and urged him on faster, his heartfelt sentiment sparking something inside her that made her want to give all she had to him. They were never good with words but their bodies seemed to speak for them as years of sexual attraction and emotional connection finally came to a peak. Her body was warm and so surrounded by him, making her feel protected and vulnerable at the same time. Her toes flexed when he changed the angle and he brushed against her g-spot, causing the sparks of her orgasm to build.
“Keep going. Please, don’t stop.” Scully hummed.
Mulder rested his forehead against hers and his hips pumped harder, Scully’s back arching into him. Sliding one hand between them to her clit, Mulder looked down and moaned his approval before he kissed her again, whispering against her lips. “And don’t you stop doing that.”
Scully wasn’t planning on it, especially not with how quickly she could feel her orgasm building, and not with how he managed to brush her hair off the sweaty skin of her cheeks so tenderly while he fucked her into oblivion. Her legs fell from around him and parted wider, causing him to get a deeper angle which was about all her body could take. Her eyes closed and she dug tight into his ass, her inner muscles clenching tight in preparation for the orgasm that had started to blossom in her toes, ready to shoot through her whole body at a second's notice.
“Look at me, Scully.” Mulder begged.
Scully’s eyes opened, desperation on her face as her fingers rolled against her swollen clit, her legs raising off the bed to achieve the right angle. She was so close she could almost taste it.
“I can’t hold on anymore!” Scully all but sobbed in pleasure, her nails deep into his ass with a force that caused him to hiss and rock against her, frantically desperate to push her over that edge.
“Come for me. Let me feel you.” Mulder coaxed, lips right next to her ear.
“I’m coming!” The whine from Scully’s throat was primal and raw. There, fuck, right there, oh god! Her eyes slammed shut and her legs shook when she felt her orgasm rip through her body, lights exploding behind her eyes.
Scully panted as her orgasm crashed over her, her entrance contracting around him in rapid succession, the white heat of her orgasm washing over her in blissful waves. Mulder groaned and slowed his hips down in an attempt to draw out her pleasure in replacement of his own obvious desperation to achieve release.
“Jesus, Scully!” Mulder grunted.
Scully’s body continued to shake beneath him as she rode out her orgasm, her whole body alive and sparking just for him. When the pleasure began to ease, her body relaxed and her legs fell open onto the bed, her chest heaving in an attempt to get her breath back as she opened her eyes to watch Mulder brush her hair away, a smile on his face.
“You are so beautiful.” Mulder confessed and it made Scully break out in a warm smile, her face relaxed in pure bliss. His words only made her body feel warmer, her heart swelling in her chest.
She got lost in his eyes as he kissed her, the kiss soft before desire kicked in and he groaned against her lips, rolling onto his side, and although Scully was momentarily confused, she smiled and allowed him to pull her with him as she rested her leg high on his waist. One of his hands held her thigh against him and the other slipped between her and the bed to pull her closer to him as he started to thrust again. This new angle was different and allowed deeper penetration which caused her head to fall forward into the crook of his neck as his hips worked harder against her, his fingers digging deeper into the supple flesh of her thigh.
She felt so enveloped by how his scent and sweat covered her skin, his large frame cradling her close in an entanglement of limbs. It was an intoxicating feeling and she could already feel herself becoming addicted to it. Burying her nose into his shoulder she nibbled on his exposed skin, tasting the saltiness of him on her tongue and she could sense he was close with how his hips lost their rhythm and became erratic. Scully suspected he was trying desperately to hold on and she had to admit that she didn’t want it to end either, but she wanted him to feel the pleasure he had given her moments before. She wanted to see him completely and utterly vulnerable for her.
“It’s okay, let go,” Scully whispered as she kissed his lips, pulling back only enough to speak again. “Come for me, Mulder.”
He nodded with a whine and it quickly became her new favourite sound. Mulder gripped her thigh tighter and she knew there would be marks there in the morning but it felt too good to care. Mulder’s hips faltered for a moment when he rolled them back into their original position, Scully’s leg’s spread wide and open for him as he lifted his head, picking up his pace with closed eyes and parted lips, panting as his hips started to shake. Wow, you look absolutely gorgeous like this, Mulder. So beautiful.
Mulder’s hand quickly let go of her thigh and she let it fall to the bed as he pushed himself up and pulled out of her. Scully grunted in disapproval with the emptiness left, clenching around nothing and missing his fullness until her brain clicked onto what he was doing a few moments later. If she hadn’t already been completely soaked she would have been now. Mulder held himself up on his knees and elbows with his cock resting close to her, his fist frantically pumping, Scully biting her lip as she reached down, resting one hand on his pubis, so close that his fingers brushed against her wrist with every stroke.
His eyes were closed and she took the time to look down and watch his swollen cock slide effortlessly in his fist with the mixture of their arousal. How she so desperately wanted to touch him and feel him release into her hand, but she didn’t want to ruin his pleasure so she just dug her nails slightly into his skin in compromise and that seemed to be enough of a stimulation as his hips bucked and his eyes snapped open. Scully’s stomach muscles rippled as the tip of his cock brushed against her skin and poked into her belly button on occasion, the slight tug at her piercing sending fresh jolts of arousal straight to her core.
“S-Scully…” Mulder stuttered as he looked down between their bodies. “So close.”
“Yes.“ Scully purred in return, her eyes fixated on him as he brought himself over the edge.
Groaning loudly, Mulder let his orgasm wash over him as he held his cock against her, spurting thick ropes of cum that coated her stomach. Scully arched up as the hot liquid hit her skin, her eyes focused on him in the throes of his orgasm. His hand continued to stroke himself as he whined, the head of his cock bumping into her belly button as he gently thrust against her, cum still dripping out of him. Oh wow . It was one of the hottest things Scully had seen and she bit her lip, her fingers digging into his skin as he slid against her stomach, coating her even more with his desire. He moaned as Scully gripped his hair and pulled him down to kiss him again.
He was almost breathless and after the kiss she let him fall down onto her, the mess between them forgotten as she wrapped her arms and legs around him in a warm embrace. She wasn’t normally one to enjoy the heavy weight of a man on top of her, but with Mulder it just felt so comforting. A hum of approval rumbled in her throat as he nuzzled into her and she closed her eyes, just taking in his warmth and enjoying the post-coital bliss. It wasn’t until Scully became aware of the stickiness between them that she started to pull away and he got back onto his knees, a blush on his cheeks.
“I’m sorry about that, Scully,” Mulder smirked as he ran his hands up her thighs and to her bent knees. “You took away my brain function there for a second.”
Scully smiled and shook her head. “Don’t apologise, I liked feeling you on top of me. It felt...” She paused as if trying to find the right word as she got to her elbows. “Comforting.”
They looked at each other before she looked down at her glistening stomach. It made her clit throb knowing that she was covered in him and nothing but him. Mulder followed her eye line as Scully reached down to collect the liquid in her belly button before his eyes grew wide.
“Oh, shit! Your piercing!” Mulder spluttered with panic in his eyes. “I didn’t mean…Is it going to get infected? I didn’t think! I’m so sorry.”
Scully let him rush out his panic before she giggled, her head falling back as she struggled for breath. Opening her eyes, Scully immediately felt guilty when his face still showed nothing but worry. She smiled before she carefully sat up and brushed his jaw with her thumb.
“No, no, please don’t worry. It’s okay, honestly,” Scully traced his frowned eyebrow. “It won’t get infected. It’s been healed for years, it’s okay.” Scully watched him nod and sigh with relief.
“Was that okay?” He asked.
She guessed he wasn’t just talking about the way his desire was cooling on her stomach but about what they had just done. It was definitely a huge step in their relationship and one she didn’t think would have happened like this - well, if she was honest she hadn’t really been sure if it would have happened at all, even though there had always been a part of her that wanted him. Scully got up onto her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck, sucking his cum off her finger, Mulder licking his lips in approval.
“It was more than okay,” Scully confided as she looked into his eyes and tried to swallow down the lump of emotion that dwelled into her throat at the look of love in his eyes. Oh god, please don’t look at me like that, my heart can’t take it. But she smiled and bit her lip. “A lot more than okay.”
Mulder nodded in relief before he kissed her again, Scully moaning into his lips as she pulled away. “Come on, we should go get cleaned up. I don’t want to ruin the sheets.”
Mulder smirked as Scully struggled to move on wobbly legs. “You okay there, Scully?”
Scully playfully smacked his arm, taking the hand he offered to help her off the bed. “Shut up, Mulder.” Her tone was light as she intertwined their fingers and pulled him towards the bathroom, Mulder following behind her and never letting go of her hand.
---♡---
The shower was just what Scully needed. They washed together, Mulder made sure she washed her belly button thoroughly, and she smiled when he washed her hair before they melded together under the spray of the water. It was soft and gentle, even when Mulder took her again against the cool tiles of the shower. Their orgasms came quickly and even though they weren’t as strong as the ones before, they were just as pleasurable. Once they finished, he lowered her to the floor and they washed again, Scully cleaning their mixed arousal off her inner thighs. They dried together, smiling, before they made their way back into the room. Mulder got under the covers of the bed and watched as Scully gathered their clothes and put them onto the coffee table next to their forgotten paperwork, which they could finish over the weekend. Scully looked over at him as he lay there with the empty side of the bed’s covers pushed back in invitation.
There was a part of her deep inside that went on high alert and told her she needed to run, to get out of this situation and that the feelings of love and adoration she felt for him were too much, as they started bubbling up in her chest. They were too intense to process with her brain pumping endorphins around her body and she knew she couldn’t trust her judgement right now. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind to make a decision when her body called for her to go to him and leave the consequences to be dealt with tomorrow. Oh, how easily she could succumb to them. It was frightening, really. She stood there for a moment in the middle of the room, her towel loosely wrapped around her body, her heart pounding in her chest. Scully felt her eyes drawn to him, his gaze soft as he sat up against the headboard.
“You don’t have to stay, Scully.” Oh, how well you can read me, you always have been so good at it. Damn you. His voice was soft and she felt a sting to her heart when she heard a trace of sadness there. “I understand if you want to go. It’s okay.”
What are you doing? Stop with this shit! This is Mulder. This is the Mulder who you just slept with. This is the Mulder who looks at you like he truly loves you. Just go to him! Her heart screamed at her, but her head told her she needed time to process and she shouldn’t jump into something just because her body wanted it. She couldn’t fuck this up. Not with Mulder, he meant far too much to her. Scully swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded before collecting her clothes and leaving the room, not looking back to him because she knew it would be too hard to leave if she did. Scully rested her back against the door after it shut and looked into her room; it was so dark and empty, the light of his room peaked from under the door and she already missed the warmth.
Walking over to sit down on the bed, Scully let her arms hug around her body in an attempt at self comfort. She so desperately wanted to allow herself the happiness of being wrapped in him, but she didn’t want to possibly ruin what they had; because what they had was just too fucking important to her. It was probably the most important thing to her. Sex could just be sex. But feelings would make things harder, they always did.
Scully ran her hands over her face and brushed her wet hair back as she let her towel pool in her lap. But you want to go back there, stop denying yourself that. Things felt right, didn’t they? It had actually been amazing how naturally they had come together, as though they’d been doing it for years, and she supposed that parts of them had. He hadn’t given her any reason to doubt how much he cared for her and she felt herself wondering if maybe she should ignore her head for once. In all the years what has it gotten me? An empty bed and an even emptier heart . Biting her bottom lip, Scully gave a little strangled whimper when she tasted him still on her lips.
There was a deep ache that had settled between her legs and a bruised feeling on her thigh and all she felt was him, the thought only causing her heart to ache too. She wanted him and she wanted to let herself have that happiness she craved. Hell, even if it only lasts a little, it will be better than not having it all, right? They could work things out later, she just wanted to let herself have tonight. If that was all God was going to give her, she would make it count.
She pulled her towel back around her body and got to her feet, making her way towards the door, her hand lingering on the door knob before she decided to knock. It only took one tap of her knuckles against the wood before she heard him on the other side. “You don’t have to knock, Scully.”
Opening the door, she saw Mulder sitting up in bed, the covers still open in invitation for her. He gave her a questioning look, and just him so close to her again made her heart beat faster. This is where she wanted, no, needed to be. In the warmth and the light, not in the cold darkness alone. Not anymore . Scully gave him a reassuring smile and she could have sworn she had never seen him smile so big before. He lay back, his eyes raking over her body, and when she dropped the towel to reveal her bare skin to him once again, he moaned in approval. His eyes lingered on her breasts before they moved over her piercing, the patch of auburn curls between her legs, then travelled up to her eyes.
“You’re killing me over here, Scully,” Mulder chuckled and Scully smirked, walking towards him with a confident sway to her hips. “You need to give a guy some warning before you do that. So I can at least prepare myself.”
Scully giggled as she reached the bed, only hesitating for a split second before she slipped under the covers and looked up at the ceiling. Feeling him shift, she rolled onto her side with her back to him, unsure of how much he was willing to give her after she had pulled away once again. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before she felt his arms linger around her, hesitant to touch. Scully turned and looked into his eyes, his warmth so inviting as she shuffled towards him before raising her finger in warning, his eyebrow cocked in amusement at her playful attitude.
“If you steal my half of the blankets, I’ll kill you.” Her lips curved in amusement as he nodded and mock-pouted.
Moving as close to him as she could, she wrapped her arms around him. Mulder finally rested his arms around to hold her in a close embrace. Scully hadn’t even been aware that she’d been holding her breath, but it came out in a content sigh when he cradled her head to him and kissed the crown of her head deeply. This feels so right. He’s so soft. Legs slipped between his and there was something so intimate about how their hips connected, his cock soft and rested against her centre, curls rubbing against curls. Closing her eyes, she couldn’t help how her lips curled up when the wiry hair of his chest tickled her breasts, her body relaxing into the gentle way his fingers moved up and down her back.
“I hope your muscles are nice and relaxed now.” Scully smirked as her arms tightened around him and she kissed the skin of his shoulder.
“Very relaxed. Never felt more relaxed than right now,” Mulder paused and pulled her tighter to him, his voice a whisper. “And I’m not talking about the massage. Just being with you is so...” He paused again. “Comforting.”
As he relayed her earlier sentiment, Scully’s heart leapt. I’ve never felt so warm.
#XFSmut2021#msr#msr fanfic#mulder and scully#mulder x scully#mulder/scully#fox mulder#dana scully#fanfic#fanfiction#danaxfoxfic
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