My autistic ass making a coffee at 5pm 2 days before an exam, mentally preparing to pull a half nighter in the hopes of acquring *some* knowledge they couldn't any sooner bc they only work well under pressure, with anxiety's claws at their throat:

Bonus:

Me the night before said exam:

Grimm continues paddling forward, not bothering to turn and look at the raichu Grimm: I said pay no mind to them. They are not imp- Flake: WhyI have so many... Grimm: They are- Flake: Has anyone else had this many? There is a entire swarm. Was my life really that much of a trouble for others? Are they CELEBRATING my death up there? Are the- Grimm: ENOUGH FAE. The darkrai had whipped around, looking down at the raichu with a unreadable expression. His hand gently grabs Flake's shoulder, forcing them away from the edge of the boat All the raichu could do in reply was look up at them pathetically in silence Grimm: Nothing good will come from questioning or fretting over them. Grimm: It doesn't matter anymore Fae. None of it does. Grimm gently pushes Flake down back into their seat. Carefully moving some of the raichu's hair out of their face. Grimm: It's all over, alright? Don't spend your brains last conscious moments panicking... You are moving on. Let go. Flake sits in silence, once again shifting their legs up into their chest, hugging their knees. Their gaze still fixed on the waters, observing the fish swimming along side them, occasionally splashing around in the water next to the boat.

Despite the darkrai's words... A pit began to form in their stomach.

A wretched, churning pit

I feel so ugly, so repulsive that when I let someone even touch me, i feel disgusted for them, it's like I made them commit a sin.

Im not enough to make anyone happy, I'll never know why I thought I could be. I guess I thought if Im able to get my happiness from a person I could be that source of happiness for someone. Im not enough though, I'm not enough for anyone. If I was, none of my friends would be depressed, none of them would be dead, it's all my fault I wasn't enough for them for any of them.

I wish I was skinny. I wish I was pretty. I wish I wasn't sensitive. I wish I wasn't annoying. I wish I wasn't clingy. I wish I had pretty hair. I wish I was taller. I wish I had a purpose. I wish people actually liked me. I wish I was fun to be around. I wish I didn't hate myself. I wish I wanted to be alive.

I wish I was dead.

I'm doing what I like to call "fogging" right now and yes this is a magnus archives reference this is basically me self depricating I've basically fallen into the lonely don't come looking for me

People say that other people won't want to be your friend if you're self deprecating and talking negatively about yourself all the time. Well then obviously I need friends I can say self deprecating things with and we can be negative together. I really don't need your toxic positivity, I feel how I feel about myself and fuck anyone who can't handle that.

current mood: SHIT by bo burnham

Back at it again with my silly little edits

In the River Styx, the wishiwashi continue to swim forward in the land of the living... the stadium is beginning to become restless...

Emotions are beginning to rise... The wishiwashi swim faster

[ MeiMei the Mienshao belongs to @a-drays-mind ]

Hating myself is as close as I'll ever come to loving myself.

Thaaat’s me!

Will things ever be fergalicious again