#remember that post where i recommended a stress reliever. this is it. this is my stress reliever JHHSHSUHSUWUAHH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

white-collar-lawmen-and-conmen · 3 years

Text

Pulse Point

A/N: Requested by anonymous. Warning for canon-typical violence; minor character death, nightmares, and post-traumatic stress. Also: borrowed Dr. Sweets from the show Bones.

Summary: A near-death experience leaves you with recurrent nightmares. Neal offers some comfort.

Word Count: 5,154

The steady beeping of hospital equipment was driving you insane. It had been hours now of nothing except the monotonous noise of your own heartbeat. If it didn’t shut up soon, you would claw your ears off. With a stiff body and an ache that penetrated down to your bones, you forced your body upright and pinched open the pulse monitor on your right hand.

You let out a relieved sigh as the equipment went silent and dropped yourself back onto the well-padded pillows behind you. The pulse monitor clattered to the floor on its long white cord and you settled down for a nap. The ache in your bones made you feel heavy, like lead. There was nothing quite like a well-deserved nap.

In mere seconds after you had closed your eyes, the equipment started acting up again, this time blaring one long, constant shriek. The surprise made your heart skip a beat, but your eyelids were too heavy to look and see what had happened. Then your heart kept skipping, and your throat tightened. You couldn’t breathe. Your chest burned. It wasn’t a heartbeat; it was a flatline.

You were dying.

The leaden feeling in your body doubled. Your muscles didn’t respond to trying to move and you couldn’t force your lungs to take in a breath. Footsteps pounded around you, incoherent shouts going in one ear and out the other. You were desperate for your paralyzed eyes to open. Was this what you’d have for the rest of your life? Nothing but darkness and unintelligible, mind-numbing noise, punctuated by electrical humming and the pain of a vice clamping itself again to your finger?

The flatline paused for a second. Your ears rang and you thought, for a moment, that you were safe, your heart was beating again. Instead, your stomach twisted and you realized you were losing feeling in your toes. No blood. No life. When the screech of your flatline came back again, it was louder, more piercing. The shrillness reminded you of screaming.

As soon as you remembered it, it was there – the same screaming as before, somewhere in your room, echoing from every corner. In the next pause of the flatline, it turned into a hoarse shriek and a plea. “No! Please!”

You couldn’t hear anything underneath it, no more overlapping voices, and your panic increased. Where were the doctors? Did they think you were gone? Help me!

Your eyes opened with a sudden snap, the droning of your alarm clock replacing the flatlining of the monitor.

As you stared at your ceiling, you panted for breath. Rationally, you knew, you had probably never stopped breathing, but in the panic of your nightmare, it felt like you’d been smothered. Terror powered your desperate gasps and convinced you that your feet and hands were numb, even as you could feel that one foot was poking out from the end of your blanket. After a long moment, you dared to move your arm, ready to scream if you weren’t dreaming after all and still couldn’t move. You turned your alarm off easily.

Soft rain pattered against the glass windows, creating shiny-looking streaks as droplets collected and streamed down the side of the building. It was much more soothing than the silence that usually reigned in Dr. Sweets’ office when he was waiting for you to talk. Maybe he should invest in one of those noise machines with rain as an option. You thought about making the suggestion, but knowing him, he would probably call you out on the procrastination, or deflection, or whatever else he wanted to call it.

You broke the silence. “I’m certain I can wait you out for the next…” You checked the clock. “Twenty-seven minutes.”

Dr. Sweets raised his eyebrows, still leaning his head on a closed fist, propped on the arm of his chair. “I’m equally certain I can recommend you remain on desk duty for the next…” He pretended to check his watch. “Twenty-seven weeks.”

You scowled.

Psychological clearance was a bureau mandate after something traumatic occurred during the course of the job. You’d been lucky enough not to need it up to this point, but after… that, you hadn’t been given a choice. Dr. Sweets was a highly qualified psychotherapist, and you were sure that he did amazing things to help a lot of people, but so far you felt neither amazed nor helped.

“Agent L/N, you went through something incredibly harrowing that you were very close to not walking away from.” The psychologist finally took his head off his fist and put his arm down in his lap. At least he’d taken the bait and you weren’t the one starting the discussion. “You were a half-inch or couple minutes from bleeding out.” He pinched his fingers to demonstrate as if you didn’t have a scar on your body that distance from your femoral artery. You’d never be able to forget what half an inch looked like.

“But I did walk away, and the person who did that to me is in prison for the rest of his life.” You crossed your legs, trying to look more comfortable than you felt. You weren’t sure how effective you were going to be at convincing a therapist that you didn’t need therapy, but it was worth the try.

He looked utterly unconvinced. Actually, the jerk looked like he knew exactly what you were trying for and thought it was cute that you thought you could trick him. “Justice, or even retribution, which it feels like you’re leaning towards, doesn’t erase a wrongdoing or its associated harm.”

“I didn’t erase it, I healed from it. I took medical leave, now I’m back.”

“Physically, you healed. It takes a lot longer to heal mentally from those kinds of wounds.”

“Does it?” You challenged.

“I think your nightmares speak for themselves,” Dr. Sweets said pointedly.

You glared at him, at a loss for a quick comeback. You knew you didn’t look like a million bucks, but you hadn’t thought it was that obvious you were losing sleep. If he knew, then the coworkers who spent a lot of time with you must know, too. Especially Neal – nothing got past him. Oh, that was embarrassing.

The nightmares had been recurring for weeks now. They had started once you had a return date to the office, but after actually resuming your work, they had increased in frequency and intensity. They weren’t identical, but they did all share some similarities: some fatal injury had you dying, alone, in the dark, like you almost had in real life. You never got to the point of actually dying in your dreams, you didn’t think, but you were just fine with that. They were bad enough as they were. Yes, they were a sign of trauma and anxiety. But if your mind didn’t heal itself from weeks safe at home, then you knew returning to normal as fast as possible was probably your best bet at getting over what had happened.

“I’m not your enemy here,” the therapist said to you more gently. You couldn’t say he was heartless, even if you didn’t enjoy the half-hour sessions where he tried to talk about your feelings whether you wanted to or not. “My goal is the same as yours. I want you back at work, safely, able to sleep through a night so you don’t jeopardize yourself or the people around you.”

You let out a deep sigh. “What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me about the affect this has had on you.” Dr. Sweets encouraged, not for the first time. “You’ve accepted what happened. I can see that. But the next step is processing what it means for you, as an agent, as a person… maybe both.”

You felt helpless. What was that supposed to mean? You couldn’t very well tell him you were terrified your job was going to actually get you killed or cost more lives on your watch. When your employer paid your therapist’s bills, you couldn’t fully trust doctor-patient confidentiality. Maybe it was just paranoia, but you couldn’t bring yourself to risk it.

“I can’t sleep,” you admitted. Your tone sounded mournful. In a way, you were mourning for a time when you could sleep through the night and enjoy your days at work. It wasn’t like white-collar crime was your passion, but you did like puzzles, and you did like being around the people you worked with, especially a certain blue-eyed felon. “I keep having nightmares that I’m… injured, and I’m alone.”

“Your wire was jammed and your team didn’t hear you signal for backup.” Dr. Sweets talked slowly, patient and pragmatic as he validated your nightly anxieties. “You expected help, but they didn’t know to come.”

“They did come,” you said with a shrug. “It just… almost wasn’t in time. I know it wasn’t their fault.”

Your words about time felt glued into your ears. Yours had come really close to running out. And for what? Insurance fraud? No amount of money justified murder, and you likewise couldn’t put a price tag on a life. So why were you so eager to leap back into the same job that almost cost you yours?

It was something you had been mulling over since it happened. Your job was dangerous. You had always known that. You’d been shot at, been near explosives… your partner had been abducted by a murderer not that long ago, and your best friend had had guns in his face so often that, honestly, you’d lost count a while ago. Somehow it just hadn’t clicked, you supposed, that you could legitimately die. You were protected by the bureau and your body armor, until that wasn’t enough. Other agents had learned that lesson in a much harder way; being confronted with that was hard to simply get over.

Apparently, your use of the word “fault” led Dr. Sweets to talk to you about guilt and anger around the incident. You didn’t blame your partner or feel angry, except at the man who shot you, but you let him continue around your noncommittal, half-assed answers. You knew he at least suspected you were putting him on again, but you also knew you hadn’t given him much to work with. Then again, he didn’t call you on your bullshit replies, either, so you weren’t quite sure what he thought.

While Dr. Sweets had yet to approve you for field duty, there was still plenty to do at your desk. You pretended not to notice the itch in your legs to go somewhere while you kept yourself busy, preparing documents, performing research, helping delegate and manage case files, and topping off your team’s coffee whenever they got low. You had become even more of a desk jockey than Neal; at least he got to go out with Peter when given the green light. You missed outings with your partner, or really with any other agent.

Comparing yourself to a caged tiger was likely on the dramatic side, so you put it out of your mind and refused to feel sorry for yourself. You understood the protocols and the routines and they were for your benefit as much as the bureau’s. Besides, your team wasn’t treating you like you were fragile or demoted. They leaned on you to help just as much as they ever did, the assignment of duties just went a little differently.

You doodled a cat on your notepad during a meeting. Everyone had great ideas and you tossed in some ways you could contribute when you’d been quiet for a while. Peter’s proposed field op was going to go smoothly. Odds were high that any hiccups could be taken care of by Diana’s swift running of interference. Neal was raring to go and Jones was a little too excited to play the part of an intimidating brute, in your opinion, and Peter was appropriately apprehensive (someone ought to be, after what had happened to you).

“Let’s sleep on it,” Peter decided after looking out the window and seeing how low the sun had sunk. “If we’re all still in agreement in the morning, we’ll set the ball in motion.”

Jones graciously commented, “Good idea. We can all think on it.” He was probably the most cautious of all of you.

“Y/N?” Neal asked. You immediately looked up from your (admittedly lopsided) cat drawing. The forger was still in his chair, even while the others were pulling on their coats and blazers. “You’ve been quiet. Do you have any concerns?”

You shook your head, but not too quickly that it raised suspicion. You could get away with doodling – Peter often turned a blind eye to it; after several years, he’d developed a soft spot for you – but only if you were still paying attention and participating, so you didn’t want to give him a reason to suspect you weren’t.

Peter, Diana, and Jones all said their goodbyes. The two younger agents left the room, but Peter lingered at the doorway.

“Neal, do you want a ride?” He offered.

Neal looked from you to Peter, and then shook his head. “Thanks, but I’ll find my way. You don’t want to be late for roast,” he added when Peter looked unconvinced. After glancing at you, your partner decided that he really didn’t want to be late for roast and left without another look over his shoulder.

Now that you were alone, Neal softened his expression. “Seriously, Y/N, what’s going on?”

“I told you, I’m not worried. We’ve thought of just about everything we can predict.” You said with a straight face, pretending not to know that Neal wasn’t just talking about this specific case anymore.

He wasn’t having it. “Don’t lie to a conman, Y/N,” he chided you with a small, fond smile. “Come on. It’s not just today, you’ve been quiet ever since you came back. It’s not like you.” You raised an eyebrow and pursed your lips, uninterested in talking. Neal reached partway across the table for you but stopped there. It was an invitation but not a command. “I’m worried about you.”

The thing about your history with Neal was that it was a close one. You went from strangers when Peter got him out of Sing Sing to best friends within the span of two years. You trusted him more than you trusted just about anyone, and there hadn’t been a time when one of you needed the other and was turned away. He didn’t come to you when he was upset – seeking out reassurance and comfort was not Neal’s strength, because it involved professing vulnerability – but he never turned you away when you came to offer it, either. Now it seemed to be his turn to do the offering, as he had realized over the last few weeks that you weren’t going to ask.

You reached for his hand and silently sighed in relief at how solid and warm it was to the touch, so unlike the few dreams where you screamed and cried for someone to help and found yourself grasping at tricks that weren’t there. Neal turned his hand to hold yours and gave it a squeeze.

“It’s been so hard, Neal,” you told him reluctantly. “I have no idea how you do it. How you just walk away from all the close calls.”

Neal frowned a little. “I don’t just walk away,” he objected. “I have bad nights. I have bad days. Sometimes I have a whole bad week, or a few bad months.” You knew the latter was a reference to losing Kate, and you sympathetically gripped his hand tighter. “But, you know… there’s always something I can find to focus on instead, and after a while, the things go in the past. I let go.”

That advice was entirely unhelpful. “I’ve been trying to let go,” you said sourly. It wasn’t directed at him, exactly, but moreso at your brain, which was failing in its task of moving past what happened. “It’s not working. I can’t sleep. Sometimes I don’t think I can breathe.”

“It’s not easy,” Neal agreed, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. It was an intimately affectionate gesture that comforted and eased the nerves beginning to bubble in your stomach. “Company helps. The reminder that I have backup, even when it doesn’t come right away. I’ve got Peter, Moz. You.” He met your eyes with a small smile and raised your hand to his lips, gently kissing your knuckles.

“Company?” You echoed uncertainly. If you were unconscious, how was company going to make a difference to what you dreamed about? Then you remembered what you had said to Dr. Sweets about your nightmares always ending with being alone. If you knew, on some level, that you weren’t alone, maybe you would feel safer. “Like, overnight?”

His expression didn’t change to give away whether you were right or wrong. Instead, he just asked, evenly, “Is that what you need?” The way he looked at you then, without judgment in his eyes, but with determination in the set of his jaw, you just knew that whatever you said you needed, Neal would move a mountain to give it to you.

“I’m not sure, but… maybe?” You hesitantly guessed. If it worked, it would be worth the awkwardness. Even just one night of solid sleep would do wonders for how you felt, and it wasn’t like it would be the first time you had stayed with Neal overnight. Long marathons on slow weekends, and the less pleasant nights after Kate’s death, meant he kept an extra toothbrush and a set of your pajamas in his penthouse.

“Okay,” he said right away with nothing but quiet matter-of-factness. It was so comforting to be proven right that you could rely on him to help you with what you needed. His tone just said, you need this, so we’re doing it, full-stop. You just hoped you were right, both so you could finally go eight hours without fearing for your life and so you weren’t inconveniencing him for no reason. “Let’s get dinner on the way. We don’t have to talk about it,” he quickly said, seeing your face. “Whatever you need.”

Everyone should have a friend like Neal, but everyone should find their own, because this one was all yours. If it weren’t for the table in the way, you would’ve launched yourself at him in a tight hug. As it was, you settled for a squeeze of his hand and a grin as wide as you could muster. “Dinner sounds great.”

The stickiness of your pants along your thigh made your hands shake, unable to bring yourself to look at your palms. You knew what you would see all over them. The fire lancing up your thigh told you what you already knew. So did the weakness in your body and the fog in your mind. It was done. The hourglass on the desk was trickling through the last of its sand. Moretti was nowhere to be seen. You couldn’t even die in the presence of a murderer.

There was screaming coming from another room. It was the desperate wail of another agent begging for their life. “No! Please!”

“No,” you mumbled, using all of your energy to turn your head to the doorway. He couldn’t… not now that you were down… you couldn’t even raise your voice to cry for help. You were completely helpless. You couldn’t save him.

Your chest burned with the effort of your heart, ironically helping you to bleed out faster. Your breaths came labored, and then they couldn’t come at all as your vision faded. The dark carpet blurred from a mass of pilled fibers into a solid navy sea. The pain in your leg was excruciating, it was all you could feel; the idea of feeling peace ever again slipping away.

Screaming. Banging. Footsteps. More screaming. Pounding. Shouting. It was all indistinguishable, a mess of men’s voices and loud gunshots. Then, you heard it. Just your name, barely audible above the rest, in a voice that made you strain to see past the blackness.

“Y/N!”

You’d give the rest of your precious seconds away just to see him one last time, just to know he was beside you and you weren’t alone.

“Y/N!”

Footsteps came closer and the pressure on your chest intensified. The blood loss made you dizzy and your body shook.

“Y/N!”

You jolted awake, eyes snapping open in time to see Neal leaning out of the way just in time to avoid your hand flying at his face. You processed slowly that his hands were on your shoulders – had he shaken you? – and it was still dark. You could barely see his face, but his figure was lit from behind by the lamp next to his bed. You could tell from his messy hair that he had been sleeping not long ago, and you felt awful for waking him up.

After cursing, you sat up and gripped the warm blanket on your lap tightly. “I’m sorry,” you said remorsefully, feeling like a fool. Not only hadn’t you been able to sleep through the night, but now you’d ruined his rest, too. You cussed again. “I really hoped being close… just not being at my apartment, alone…”

It had felt like a safe bet off to a good start. You had gotten dinner together near Gramercy Park, then watched a lighthearted movie before turning in for bed. Neal offered to let you take his mattress, but you didn’t want to put him out and you had slept over enough that he didn’t feel like a bad host for letting you insist on the sofa. You’d been out by ten, but now you could guess it had been less than four hours. Your heart was still racing, your leg still tense with an imagined pain.

“It’s okay,” Neal said, sounding unsettled. He kept his hands on your shoulders like he was keeping you grounded on the earth. “Don’t worry about it. It’s okay.”

Neal’s eyes must have already adjusted to the low light, because his aim was spot-on when he lifted a hand from your shoulder to cup your neck instead. His profile ducked and you felt his lips land on your forehead, checking your temperature, signalling forgiveness, and administering reassurance all at once. He rubbed his thumb across your jaw as he stood up straight, releasing you, and walked away around the couch.

You put your legs down in front of you and rubbed your face, exhausted mentally and physically. Helplessness made you want to cry. Time wasn’t healing. Sleeping pills just made it harder to wake up, letting the nightmares ravage your psyche for longer. Not even the proximity of someone you trusted and adored was enough to let go of the past.

The light in the kitchen came on, bright enough to illuminate the studio but far enough away not to be blinding. Neal came back to the couch holding a bottle of water and offered it to you before sitting down. He looked so adorable, still sleepy and with a bit of pink in the side of his face from sleeping with his arm under his pillow. You scolded yourself for even thinking about how cute he was when you were the one who had woken him up.

You sipped at the water. It was so nice and smooth on your throat. You felt fine, now that you were awake, but the vividness of your nightmares always left you feeling parched and you always expected swallowing to hurt as if you had strep. Neal leaned into the back of the couch and put his arm up along the cushions. You capped the water, bent your knees to pull your feet back up onto the furniture, and let yourself lean into his side. Neal dropped his arm softly on your shoulders, holding you in a tender sideways hug.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized again after a couple of minutes. You felt much better, much faster than you usually did, thanks to him, and if you were being fully honest, you were not ready for him to get up and go back to bed, but it wasn’t fair to ask him to stay up cuddling you at god-knows-what-time just because you were a wreck.

“I told you, it’s okay,” Neal said, his voice firm. If you apologized again, you figured he would start scolding you for it, so you let it go.

“I just – I should’ve expected this,” you said with frustration, feeling like you were confessing to knowingly bothering him. “I haven’t been able to sleep well in ages. I keep having these nightmares, I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

Neal was quiet for a few seconds, making sure you had said all you were inclined to. Then, knowingly, he asked, “This is about the Moretti case, isn’t it?”

“I can’t let it go,” you said with a whimper. “It won’t leave me alone. Every night, it’s a little bit different, but at its core it’s always the same.”

Neal’s voice cutting through the fog of your nightmare had been a saving grace, giving you peace even in your unconscious, but now that you were awake, you realized with clarity that his voice saying your name wasn’t the only voice you could make out. In fact, you always heard the same thing, every night, no matter what else changed.

“What’s the same, Y/N?” Neal asked you, trying to help. He stroked your upper arm with his open hand. You were already shaking your head. Neal could comfort you all he liked, but he couldn’t bring back the dead. In grief and shame, you turned your head and bent your neck to bury your face in his shoulder. Neal tilted his head so his cheek was resting gently on your hair. “Tell me, darling,” he coaxed in a whisper.

You felt like someone’s hands were wrapped around your throat, strangling your reply. “Agent Flynn,” you answered dryly, barely more than mouthing his name. “In every nightmare, I hear… I hear his last words. Begging Moretti not to take the shot.”

Neal was quiet for a long time, but never pushed you away. He held you closer when you started to shake, crying against him as quietly as you could manage. The artist rubbed your arm and periodically kissed your head, but he knew that there was nothing he could say to erase the horror of what you had heard or take away the guilt that you had survived because Moretti was distracted by taking out the other agent.

Moretti was part of a family gang, often in conflict with the Barellis, who, interestingly, paid a little deference to the white-collar division ever since you and Peter had recovered a stolen Book of Hours. The Morettis had no such connection or gratitude, so their response to the FBI sticking their nose into an embezzling scam was violent and bloody. Moretti shot you in the leg and intended to finish you off, but one of his own men had reported you came with someone. He left you to bleed out, and only a few rooms over, you had heard Flynn’s pleas – and the subsequent gunshot. Your team, wising up to the dead signal, arrived for a takedown before Moretti could make his way back to you, but it was too late for your teammate.

Neal shifted after what felt like forever, only to pull you closer to his chest and wrap both arms around you. You trembled in his embrace, but that just made him hold you closer, like you were delicate and breakable. When he next talked, his low voice was quivering, just like your body.

“I thought we lost you,” he said, cupping the back of your head in a gentle hand. He massaged his fingers into your scalp, even as he kept you cuddled in his lap. “I thought I lost you, Y/N. Two gunshots. I thought…” He struggled to find his words and you hiccuped, trying to stop crying. “I was the one who found you, and I was so scared I was too late.”

You sniffled and uncrossed your arms to melt against his chest and hug him tightly around his waist instead. “I didn’t know you…”

“We found him first, but you weren’t there and I needed to find you.” Neal now sounded equal parts frightened and furious. “If he had taken you away, I would’ve…” He shook his head and pressed his forehead to yours, as desperate to be close to you as you felt to be close to him. “I would’ve shattered. I can’t lose you, Y/N. I just can’t lose you, too.”

“I’m so glad I didn’t die,” you blurted, almost in a sob. You felt so safe with him, but now you knew for a fact that your own safety wasn’t what had been tormenting you. It was a nearly debilitating case of survivor’s guilt. “I just wish I hadn’t been the only one who survived.”

“No one wants that,” Neal promised you, untangling his hand from your hair and stroking it down instead. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could fix this and take it away, but all I can do is be here and hold you and tell you it’s going to be alright. It wasn’t your fault.”

You sniffed. Neal’s words were more of a comfort than you had thought they would be. They changed nothing about the situation, but… you weren’t alone. You hadn’t been alone since you met him. You just agonized that Flynn had been. “Neal, I can’t lose you, either. I love you, you’re… you’re who I’m going to heal for.” You had to find a way.

Neal seized your lips with his in a searing kiss. It wasn’t as sexy or patient as you may have imagined, but you gripped his shirt and gave as good as you got, and wow, the man gave verygood. It was a desperate kiss, needing to bring you together and reaffirm your life. To you, it was the seal of a promise that you wouldn’t let the past crush your spirit. When you could sleep through the night and had a handle on your post-traumatic stress… if he would just be patient, you would be his the way you wanted him to be yours.

He released you to breathe, eyes opening wide as if he only just realized what he had done. Before he could pull away, you pressed your forehead to his again, urging him to stay close. Your breaths mingled between you and you were sure you could feel his heart beating through his chest.

“I love you, too,” he said once he had caught his breath.

106 notes · View notes

numptypylon · 3 years

Text

Epilogue

I added a short epilogue to Reunion and Intersection today, but I also wrote a much longer one, full of fluffy comfort, to get through the angst-writing in the first two chapters. It’s unedited, unfinished and ridiculously self-indulgent, and I don’t think it really goes with the story, so I elected to not post it, but I’m attaching it here, under the cut, for those interested. Keep in mind it’s a reject for a reason though; this is what my writing looks like in the explorative phase where I’m looking for the point, and in this case I didn’t really find it XD

~2K under the readmore

Callum got there early. A lot of people eyed him warily, but a letter from Queen Janai was a good smoother-of-grumpy-elf-tempers.

No-one had seen Rayla, so… she was probably not here yet.

He went to the inn, bought a large room, lit a roaring fire in there, activating the Sunfire rock he used to keep warm at night under the covers of the bed, and calling for the tub to be filled. It had the usual Skywing heating arrangement, only needing a good Fulminis to heat the water.

He resisted flying out to find her. He risked missing her again, and her leaving town before he got back.

It was about… hitting the point of intersection.

So, he waited at the city gates. He didn’t have to wait nearly as long as he expected, considering the distance she would have had to traverse. Maybe she had recovered and had travelled faster than he thought.

It was definitely her though. A small, lone figure on the mountainside.

He intended to wait for her until she got to him, but then she stopped to lean against a tree and he realized that she had not recovered and was up there sick in the snow… and that resolve evaporated like it had never been.

Like he would ever let her struggle alone a moment longer than she needed to.

It was a measure of her exhaustion that she didn’t notice him until he was basically right in front of her, and even then, her reaction was so much slower than usual.

It still… it was hard to believe it was real. For her too, surely more so.

He numbly pulled his scarf off, packing it around her neck and head. He grazed her cheek and felt it and she felt it and… she felt it, because the tears that had built up in her eyes spilled over at his touch, slipping down her dirty and flushed cheeks.

She looked ready to drop, and felt it too, when he put his arms around her and her disbelief gave way to relief. Whatever ridiculous level of stubbornness had kept her upright for the last day and night of walking through snow and up mountains when she should have been in bed… fell away and she slumped almost completely in his arms.

She sobbed hoarsely for a bit, and he let her.

And she let him, when his hand cupped the back of her head and her hair tickled his fingers and it hit him too that… it was really real, she was here.

They needed to… get to the inn though, so he pulled away and wiped his face. They could… and probably would… have a longer cry and a longer hug later. But she was sick and cold and there was a roaring fire and a filled bathtub two minutes of flight away.

“Let’s go,” he said. “I knew you were coming this way and that you were sick. And I booked a room for… you.” For them both, he hoped, but-

“What?” she blubbered. “But… aren’t… aren’t you mad?”

“I mean, of course I am, but… that’s not really… that can wait.”

“I’m…” she laughed weakly, more tears spilling over. “I’m so happy to see you and there’s… so many things I would like to say and… and I’m such a mess right now and so tired and I’m just… I’m so tired I cried earlier just because a stupid pine branch hit me in the face and knocked me off my sled and it continued down the mountain without me and I’d have to walk instead and-“

“Hey, hey!” He stroked down her flushed, wet cheeks, along fresh scratches where presumably that branch had hit her. Sledding, huh… she always was extremely resourceful and oh so daring. And that explained how she got here so fast. “Rayla, it’s okay. You can rest first. I’ll take care of things… of you. For as long as you want me to, but… definitely for the next few days.”

“How c-can you… are you… here-”

He leant his head against her forehead, relishing in the feeling of contact, even if her skin was clammy and too-hot. “That’s… complicated,” he said. “And also simple. You called me here. I came.”

“Manis. Pluma. Volantis.”

She staggered, when they set down, steadying herself on his shoulder, and Callum was glad he had elected to land in front of the inn instead of at the city gates.

She definitely wasn’t well yet, her breath rasping in her throat, her forehead beading with sweat, cheeks and ears flushed. The fever had maybe broken, but it hadn’t quite left. And she was exhausted, trembling with the effort of staying upright, her eyes dull and glassy.

People were staring, when they went inside, but the innkeeper came over and recommended the soup of the day, and their house-made herbal tea blend with Sky Yak milk, and assured them it would be brought to their room shortly, with a look of very obvious sympathy at Rayla.

And then the door shut behind them.

“I owe-” she started, but he cut her right off.

“No. You’re owed,” he said tightly.

“Owed what?” She sounded… nervous.

“Soup. Hot tea. A warm bed and a fire someone else made. General fussing. Love. Forgiveness. Kindness. A damn break, for once.”

“L-love?”

“Yeah, love.”

Her clumsy fingers fumbled at the clasps of her armor. They were still ice cold when he touched them, the skin red and no-doubt sore.

But she for once didn’t resist any help he gave, sinking gratefully into the tub he had prepared. A warm bath was possibly not great for her fever, but… it was pros and cons and he needed to warm up her hands and feet.

She was barely conscious when he helped her back out of the tub, so he just put her down on a towel on the bed, drying her hair as best he could. He at least managed to get her awake to pull off her own wet underwear and pull his clean night shirt over her head.

“Callum?” she asked, because… she wanted things, and she could have them. “Stay with me? Please.”

He pressed against her back, warm and real.

His hands engulfed hers, big and soft and familiar.

Full of real little details that her brain hadn’t accurately recreated.

The callus at the side of his right index finger, from his charcoal pencil. The scar from a clumsy sparring accident at the second knuckle.

His voice when he said her name and when he told her it was okay.

His kinda… snuffling non-snoring sleep-sound.

And new things, that she hadn’t known to add.

His arms, still skinny, but stronger than they had been.

His too-long hair flopping over his ears.

And things she had yet to find out.

“Morning-“ she muttered, as she woke, feeling warm. And her throat felt a lot better, too and most of that sticky, gross fever feeling was gone, although there was still some sluggish daze, everything just a bit vaguer and floatier than it should have been.

“Afternoon,” Callum corrected lightly, but there was something not so light underneath. “You slept for… 14 hours. I bet you’re hungry.”

“I bet… you were worried.” That was a long time to worry and not wake her to assuage it but just sit in it, watching her sleep.

She reached out to stroke his furrowed brow. Her hands were bandaged though, so she couldn’t touch him properly. She didn’t remember, but did recall something about Callum saying he had called a doctor, and then she must have conked out pretty hard and slept through it.

She clenched and released her hands experimentally. Seemed alright except for being stiff and sore?

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked, staring down at the thick bandages.

“Except for the illness that nearly killed you because you’re such a massive dummy? Lots of things.” He took her hands, starting to unwind the bandages. “For your hands, hopefully only frostnip. I’m supposed to check that, when you woke, take you back to the doctor if there’s signs of deeper frostbite.”

There was some thick ointment, probably the reason for the bandages. Her hands looked reddened, the fingers a bit swollen, but… not so bad. Nothing was white or black or blistered, so really, nothing to worry about, where frostbite was concerned.

Callum wasn’t satisfied with a visual inspection though, cupping her hands in his, methodically checking she could feel all her fingers and make a full fist.

“I think it’s okay,” he said, breathing out, relieved. He did tend to catastrophize- “No… no risk of amputation this time-” His fingers slid across her left wrist, the faint whitened scars from where the binding had dug into her skin and where the sunforge blade had burnt her.

“It’s definitely okay,” she said. “Barely hurts.” She cupped his face, feeling his skin just fine against her fingertips. “It’s not like back then, okay?”

“How do you feel today?”

“Better. Way better. I’m ready to go, if-”

“What?!” He stared at her in disbelief. “Absolutely not. You didn’t hear what the doctor said. But I did, she got here while you were sleeping. And absolutely not.”

“What-“ Was it not just a regular bug?

He breathed, slowly and deliberately. “You’re okay, it’s a regular winter infection going around. But you did a number on your own immune system with the hypothermia and mountain climbing and… she said you were undernourished, dehydrated, stressed and critically exhausted. And that you would do well to take a week or more to fully recover, during which you should eat and rest plenty, stay warm and keep stress down. Does that sound like your regular travel, to you?”

Well… not so much.

“So, I’ll ask again, how do you feel today?”

“Tired,” she sighed. “My hands are stiff and achy. My throat hurts. My legs are wobbly. My head feels full of snot.” She smiled, despite all that. “My heart is happy to see you. It’s okay if you’re- I know… that it’s complicated.”

“It is. We have… some things to talk about. Promise you won’t leave until we do?”

“I promise.”

“Okay. Then, I think we should put the complicated things away for a few days. Until you’re better and it doesn’t hurt your throat to talk. Because… we have a lot of talking to do.”

“You don’t… need to stay. For those few days. If it’s hurting you to-”

He sighed heavily. “It does.” Yeah, he couldn’t say that it didn’t. Being around her with so much… unresolved. She didn’t want that for him. She didn’t… want to have those long and hard conversations right now either, when she was still tired and fevered and liable to burst into tears at the slightest provocation. “But it would hurt me more to leave. Didn’t it hurt you? To leave?”

“Yeah.” So, so much.

He reached out to pack his scarf around her throat more closely, the soft, warm knit a soothing feeling against the raw ache.

“Lie down, okay? Be sick? I’ll read you a story. It has murder and dismemberment in it, I asked the innkeeper specifically.”

#rayllum #rayla #callum #tdp #the dragon prince #numpty fic tag #reunion and intersection

43 notes · View notes

coffeecaffineandeverythinginbtwn · 3 years

Text

Here is my @maribat-secret-santa-2020 gift for @liquid-luck-00

I’m really sorry It’s not finished (i had trouble finishing it due to school and some rough mental health problems) but I will be posting the outline so you can know the rest of what I had planned!

again i’m so so so sorry it’s not done. happy new year! please enjoy!

:readmore:

Marinette and the Runaway Assassin

Marinette Grason and the Runaway Assassin

The first thing they could remember was always flying.

Their parents always told them that the first thing a Grayson ever did was fly.

Whether it be him tossing his sister in the air as she did flips, or flying on the low swing trapeze with his mother and father. they were born soaring.

Their family was the best of the best. Humans with the agility and grace of birds. Their family never stayed on the ground for long. Nothing could keep a Grayson on the ground.

Until they fell.

Their wonderful parents never flew again.

Dick was trying his best to keep it together, for his sister, but the pain was almost too much. He was just 16. What was he supposed to do now? He wasn’t of age to care for Marinette and he certainly didn't have much money at all.

It was two days after the fall that killed their parents. Dick had cried himself to sleep, so full of grief, stress and uncertainty the night before. He wanted, no, needed to keep his sister safe, but what were they supposed to do? Live on the street? Marinette deserved better than that. Not to mention her schooling. There was just so many things he needed to think about he had no idea if they’d ever even survive -

A knock sounded at the door, startling Dick from his thoughts.

“Excuse me,” a deep voice came from behind the door, “I would like to speak to a mister Dick Grayson.” With those words the pit inside his stomach grew. It was probably some social worker coming to separate him from the only family he had left.

Dick opened the door and saw a large man with dark hair and blue eyes in a suit, “If you’re here to take me and my sister to some orphanage, leave now. It’s not going to happen. Get lost.” Dick, the normally polite boy, ended his statement by quickly closing the door.

“Wait!” The man jumped in, using his foot to jam the door. “I’m not a social worker. Mister Grayson I presume?” Dick just narrowed his eyes and nodded his head, “My name is Bruce Wayne. I was hoping to come to an arrangement that would greatly help you and your sister.

Dick had the urge to scoff, but he let the man, Bruce, continue.

“You see, I lost my parents at a young age as well. I want to make you and Miss Marinette my wards. You two would both get to live in my manor with your own room and have all the things you two would need to live a happy life. And you would not be separated. This can all happen effective immediately, as soon as you say the word. So, What do you say?”

This was insane. It was everything he and Mari could need. They could lead a normal, safe, and good life. There were so many goods that could come of this and yet…

Graysons are never tied to the ground my little robin. We must never be afraid to spread our own wings and soar. We are free spirits and we fly our own way.

With only that thought in his head, his ressove hardened.

“While I appreciate the offer Mister Wayne, I’m afraid I have to decline.” He began, “My parents used to say that we should never let ourselves be tied down. They were free-spirited and loved to travel. I want my sister and I to continue their legacy.”

Bruce looked a little shocked at this, and also a bit put out., but he quickly covered it with a determined look of his own.

“I see. If I cannot assist with housing, please let me help in any other way possible. Money is no issue, I can promise you that.” Bruce looked so ready to help them. And hell, if they couldn't use the help.

Dick was at a loss for words, “I- Mister Wayne- I can’t thank you enough!” Marinette would get to have the life their parents would have wanted for her. He didn’t have to worry about money any more. They could be free and go where the wind would take them. This flood of relief he felt did ease his grief a little for only a moment. It was one weight lifted off his shoulders.

“It’s the least I could do Mister Grayson.” He nodded, looking a bit relieved himself.

“Please, call me Dick Mister Wayne.” At that Bruce’s mouth quirked upwards the tiniest bit.

“Only if you call me Bruce.”

Over the next few years, Dick and Marinette went everywhere imaginable, traveling with the circus.

Eventually they decided to travel at their own pace. Marinette instided they spend more time in their favorite countries. They spent a few months in each, both gathering a love for each culture and language. Marinette especially took a bit of every country with her, absorbing each like a sponge.

Without the circus to keep them active in their travels and with barely any means to keep themselves protected, Dick and Marinette accumulated a mesh of different fighting styles. Neither ever truly mastered one, but both fought in a way very specific to them.

Currently somewhere in Italy, the two were waiting for one of their mentors to arrive for a meeting.

“Duckie!!” Marinette, now nine, ran to her brother with that particular spark in her eye, “Duckie! Guess what!”

Dick, smiled a little at the familiar nickname, “What’s up Nettie?”

Marinette jumped up and down excitedly. “Look what I can do!”

The small girl smiled and ran a little ways into the field nearby and did three handsprings to the shock, and pride of her brother.

“Good job Marinette,“ A voice that was not Dick‘s called from behind them, “I’m glad to see that you are improving well.”

An overall average looking man in his late 30’s wearing a firm, yet warm expression walked towards them.

Their mentor, Malachi Dobraski.

“Uncle Chi!” The Marinettw siblings voiced, running to him.

Malachi’s mouth turned upwards at the sibling’s outburst. “Yes, yes I have finally arrived. You two are, of course, ever so humbled to be in my presence.” There was a stretch of silence before the three burst out in laughter.

“Wonderful to see you two as always.” He said as he bent down to give Marinette a hug.

“So what did you need Malachi? You never call meetings so early in the month.” Dick said as he turned to face him.

Malachi hummed in an impressed manner, “Very astute Richard. I asked you here today because I wanted you to meet a friend of mine I had mentioned earlier. Gina, If you remember.”

At the mention of the woman Marinette perked up, The one who travels all around the world like us? We really get to meet her?” She topped off her questions with a wiggle of excitement.

“We’ll have to see about that Nettie.” Dick spoke fondly as he smiled at his sister’s antics. He then turned his attention to Malachi, “Will she be in town soon? You’re rarely one to throw out praise for no reason and you’ve spoken highly of her in the past.”

“She is a lady well deserving of my praise, Richard. To answer your question, yes. Ms. Gina will be in town Thursday evening.” their mentor said with another small grin.

Dick hummed while tapping his chin, “That’s about two days from now. Unfortunately me and Mari probably won’t be able to meet with her right away. We’re tied up until Saturday I believe. Will she be in town for long?��

“Gina is a free spirit, so it’s hard to say. However she has been interested in you two since I mentioned I was taking students again. I expect she’ll stay long enough to meet you.”

“That’s great!” Dick said, as cheerful as ever, “That settles it then.”

“Yay! We get to meet aunt Gina!” Marinette exclaimed, jumping up and down.

Instead of correcting his sister, Dick just shook his head with a laugh. Why does everyone we hear of instantly become family?

Marinette sat at a tall table in a quiet cafe. Her tiny legs swung eagerly underneath her as she hummed to herself. Her brother was up at the counter ordering their drinks. She was sketching, or trying to. It was really hard to focus when she was so full of jitters.

Today was the day they were supposed to meet Ms. Gina and while Marinette was excited, she was just as, if not more, nervous. She has always been this way with new people.

————————

That is the end of what i have written BUT NOW the outline:

Section One

Dick is older in this 16/17

Mari is 5 or 6

They grow up with their parents, until they die, again.

Dick is old enough to be emancipated/take custody of Mari

(Bruce didn’t adopt them but he helped Dick get emancipated and gave them loads of money)

Their parents were free spirits and loved to travel

Dick decides they should keep that alive.

The two stay with the circus traveling for around a year

And they continue to travel for 1 or 2 years

They meet Gina

Dick kinda wants to settle down Gina recommends Paris

They go to Paris

They get an apartment (thank you plot convenient Bruce money)

(she’s around 10 or 11 now. He’s 19 or 20 now)

Dick wants Mari to make friends or get a feel for regular school so she goes to FD

Section Two

Separately, Damian and the league are in turmoil (the coup happens)

Thalia might die Idk

Damian, not knowing what else to do, flees to Paris?

Tom and Sabine have always wanted children but were never successful

They find this aggressive child on the streets of course they take him in

Damian would grumble about their ‘lower status’ but would of course be secretly grateful and surprised at the unconditional love and care he receives from T and S

Section THree

Back to Mari

Being raised by Dick, she learned to be true to herself and also headstrong

She takes no crap from Chloé

(She eventually learns of her situation with her mother and they become less aggressive towards each other)

(she also learns a lot of different skills and fashion things)

Section Four

Damian arrives at FD

(He’s like 10 or 11 Mari is like 11)

Damian and Mari are both ahead of the curriculum (Both home schooled) same class

She is her kind self, doesn't know anyone else well and Dami is another new kid.

They stick together out of a sort of necessity

He’s cold at first but (go figure) he softens for her eventually

They slowly grow closer as friends

Dick becomes another behaviour mentor and Brother esq figure to Dami

Dick also sees Daminette’s in love right away

He teases Mari about it

Bada Boom they're 13 now

Section Five

Miraculos canon GO

Mari gets ladybug Dami gets cat

Mari doesn't get a crush on Adrien (the gum incident doesn’t happen because Chlo and Mari are on better terms)

Mari and Dami both immediately recognize each other in costume

Mari’s outfit is black with red detailing sans her cape/glider that’s full red with the five black spots. Has deep red boots that go up to the knee. Her ribbons are longer and can detach to use as a makeshift ribbon dance things (she also goes by Ladybird instead of Ladybug)

Damian’s outfit is his assassin outfit but black and tan undertones with cat ears (his pupils don’t change to slits) Damian goes by Leopard

Dick notices a change immediately He confronts Mari, She caves and tells him too

(She consequently reveals Damian’s Identity as well. No one could have that kind of chemistry with Mari that quickly)

He signs her up for many martial arts classes (She already had training in a few, picking up a lot from her travels)

Damian also helps train Mari in some ~Assassin Skills~

Basically, they’re bad asses.

The only thing stopping them from defeating Hawkey boy quickly is the fact that they can’t find where he is

Section Six

Moving on, Salt

Lila happens

Lila still sets her sights on Adrian (he’s got money at this point Damian is just a baker's boy to Lila.

Lila isolates the two from the rest of the class, even more so than they already were

Damian thinks the class are even bigger idiots

Lila is still an awful person and wants to make both Dami and Mari’s live miserable

Lila tries to go to Dick about Mari “bullying” her

He laughs in her face (he choses laughter instead of seething anger. thanks Hawky)

Lila then tries to get through to Tom and Sabine about Damian

This time it works, they have less reason to trust Damian (and he was also a major prick when they first took him in

(this happens over a year or so. Lila slowly gaining the trust of the class and Tom and Sabine)

The environment gets very toxic Dami and Mari decide to leave the school and go to online schooling (like at college level)

Section Seven

Time skip. They are 16 now

The two have had feelings for a while, they now realize them

Dami is less emotionally stunted, having both Dick and Mari around (Tom and Sabine too but they kinda suck now) so he doesn’t panic much

Mari is full panic mode

Dick is just in the corner all smug-like. (“you didn’t know you loved him? I’ve known this for years”)

Que pining

Lots of pining

There’s some angst, Tom and Sabine are negligent towards Damian (not mean but still neglectful)

He ends up staying with Dick and Mari more often than not

Eventually they both confess after a particularly rough akuma battle (the one where mari becomes the guardian?)

Both of them almost watched the other die. That was too heartbreaking for either of them to not confess

So they are together now.

It was an easy transition, they were already married pretty much

They’ve already figured out who Hawky boy is. They just need evidence

They get evidence. They also discover Lila was working with him

They take care of the Hawkmoth situation

Section Eight

Everything is good now right? Wrong

Batman Finally goes to Paris once Hawky is defeated,

(he kept in touch with Dick all these years and knew what was going on, {He practically became their “uncle Bruce”} He only stayed away cuz Hawkmoth)

When Damian sees Bruce visiting Mari’s House he freezes,

Mari: “what's wrong Dami?”

Dami: *whispers in her ear*

M: “He’s your WHAT???”

D; *whispers more*

M: “I- You- Um- WHAT”

D: *walks up to Bruce* “Hello, I know this is an odd way to meet but I am sure you know of Thalia Al’ Ghoul.” *B nods wairily* “Yes, well, I am your son. And unfortunately hers as well.”

“Yes, I’d be perfectly happy to do a blood test.”

Dick and Mari are shook

“Damian, You must come to live with me in Gotham”

Dun

Dunnnnnn!!!!!

End Part One

Again I am sincerely sorry I was not able to complete this story in time. Like I said before, I will (maybe/probably) be finishing this and planning a part two! I hope you enjoyed! (even though it’s the first fanfic i’ve written)

#maribat #maribat secret santa #platonic dickinette #sibling dickinette #daminette #maridami #mlb x dc

162 notes · View notes

alexshakestheworld · 3 years

Text

Fics Rec

Below are some of my favorite fanfics of all times. Most of them would probably be from AO3 (Archive of Our Own ) but sometimes I scout for fics outside of AO3 as well, if I find something worth reading I would put it here too.

I do read fanfics from multiple fandoms but I would make sure to include a tag so that you can know if there is any fic about your OTP in my list.

❤️Spirk (Star Trek: Spock x Jim Kirk): my favorite pairing of all times, though I prefer the AOS version to the TOS. I have read these fanfics so long ago that I can’t remember the content (so I apologize for the lack of my own comment/review) but if I bookmarked them they must have been good enough lol

Once Upon a Time (A Fairy-Tale Love Story) (by littlebirdtold): 47,461 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: In a universe with no Federation, where First COntact never happened, Jim Kirk is your average popular guy. On Christmas Eve, thanks to a series of strange events, Jim finds himself in a parallel universe where the Milky Way is under the control of an alien race and ends up as a servant in the residence of the Royal House of Vulcan. As he starts adapting to his new life, Jim’s curiosity fucks everything up - but hey, Vulcans shouldn’t have told him that he isn’t allowed to enter this wing of the palace; Jim has never been good at following rules. Or, this is the story of how Jim Kirk became a Princess (“Prince Consort, Bones!”) of the United Planets of Vulcan Kingdom.

Honestly, go read every single one of littlebirdtold’s fanfics. He/she/they are incredible and I’m still waiting for his/her/their comeback.

In the Shadows (by scifishipper): 25,202 words/4 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Accused of treason and stranded on Vulcan, Cadet Jim Kirk is offered a solution to his problems: bond with Ambassador Sarek’s son, someone he has never met. When he finally meets his betrothed at the ceremony, the Vulcan’s face is disfigured by cruel scars. Now, penniless and trapped, Jim finds himself committed to a reclusive stranger with a dark past. Has he sealed his fate forever or is there hope for the two of them to find love?

A sequence that you never learned (by annataylor): 64,624 words/14 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim’s humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen

Logical Erotics (by EntreNous): 63,458 words/12 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Just returned from a difficult space mission and about to begin teaching at Starfleet Academy, Spock chooses a logical way to relieve stress: a sexual encounter with someone he’ll never meet again. But when Spock discovers his partner of one night is Jim Kirk, a promising new cadet at Starfleet he’s torn between his rational decision to avoid intimate relationships and his increasing fascination with Jim. As Spcok’s normally orderly life starts to spin out of control, will his obsession with Jim prove his salvation or his undoing?

The Vulcan Heart (by obsidienne): 110,110 words/15 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Where two halves make a whole...eventually. (Post-STID

I remembered that my friend recommended this fic to me and I was a bit hesitant at that time because I have never read anything this long. But it turned out to be such a great fic that I appreciated his recommendation every day.

Unexpected (by foreverandeveralone): 10,339 words/8 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Cadet Jim Kirk doesn’t understand why everyone who is not nice to him always has bad consequences. Basically, Jim doesn’t know he is dating the Vulcan version of Sylar, who never forgives anyone who does bad things to his human.

Interesting fic if you love both Star Trek and Heroes.

The Door (by Pouxin): 77,118 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Spock and Jim both have their doors. Jim wants his to be open. Spock wants his to be closed. An alternative STID things. With more literature. And esoteric faffing. And sex.

Kicked From Inside (by Stella_Notecor): 32,246 words/18 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Drugged by aliens with an aphrodisiac that impregnates males is NOT how Jim Kirk imagined falling into bed with his first mate. That’s exactly how it happens though, and dealing with the consequences - including an angry girlfriend, a pointy-eared baby, and a chief-medical-officer who’s against the whole thing - will force Jim and Spock together, whether they like it or not.

My Golden Sun/Kin-Kur Las’hark T’nash-Veh (by giddytf2): 123,262 words/30 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Mpreg

Summary: When Jim feels thet first gush of slick soaking down the inner seam of his pants, he shuts his eyes and turns his face away from Spock towards the mottled-stone wall of their solitary cell. Spock is staring at him. Spock has no idea what’s just happened, what’s just begun. Spock has no idea that their situation is about to get so much worse. Fuck, Jim thinks, curling up into a ball of bruises and ragged gold, his arms quivering and clutching his bent legs. Fuck my life for being a goddamn Omega.

(Or, a Star Trek: AOS story post-Into Darkness in a universe where both Alpha/Beta/Omega gender dynamics and pon farr exist, with Jim being an Omega going into heat and Spock experiencing his first pon farr while trapped in a cell with Jim. Oh my.

Time of Need (by sunshine (sunshinepiveh)): 33, 669 words/25 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Spock’s pon farr comes early due to the destruction of Vulcan. Nyota is unable to cope with the stark brutality she finds as reality hits home. The captain will have to take necessary actions.

Weekend Lover (by ValiantBarnes (Cimila)): 30,017 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The one night stand Jim Kirk has with the Vulcan passing through Riverside is a welcome break from the monotony. It’s good, very good, but so fucking weird Jim’s sure he’s never gonna forget it. He’s not quite expecting to run into Spock again in san Francisco. A second one night stand turns into a weekend, turns into a lot of weekends, turns into Bones joking that he’s living half his week at Spock’s apartment. But! But, and this is very important: they’re not dating. What also turns out to be important is Spock’s job, which Jim never bothered getting the details of. Starfleet Academy Instructor and cadet?... Less fine.

❤️HotchReid (Criminal Minds: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid): unpopular pairing but they are definitely in my top 5 pairings for sure

Don’t Ever Look Back (by kadeeleigh): 15,848 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: While on a case in California, Hotch and Reid’s secret angers Morgan

This fic features a nice amount of case investigation content, an extremely protective and slightly irrational Morgan, and a remarkably sexy and confident Dr. Spencer Reid.

Arranged Marriage (by VincentMeoblinn): 18,196 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: When Reid decides to leave the BAU due to his painful crush on Hotchner, the man proposes an extreme way to avoid him leaving or them breaking the fraternization rules - by proposing

A marriage-before-romance fic. Slightly unconventional plot and relationship development (but it is fiction after all so no big deal) but generally cute.

Convergence (by Chestnut_NOLA): 33,232 words/10 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid, newest addition to the BAU has been dreaming of art and murder. In denial that his telepathy has returned, Spencer must work with his team and his boss Sentinel Aaron Hotchner to find the Unsub. Will love help Spencer control his gift or will the darkness in his mind destroy not only himself, but Aaron as well?

It is the second and my favorite fic in the Transference series. If you are into the fantasy genre, Sentinel/Guide bond to be specific, I highly recommend this one.

Healing Touch (by Rivermoon 1970): 21,981 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Mpreg

Summary: Spencer has been watching his Alpha for a while and knows something is wrong. When Aaron collapses during a case the whole team worries. What they find out about his marriage to Haley will shock all of them and when Spencer is asked to help Aaron with his recovery how will their friendship change?

The abuse part is rather brief mentioned than thoroughly described, so do not worry too much (I can’t stand extreme angst). Nice relationship development. If you like Omegaverse, give this fic a try.

Take Me Home, Country Road (by wednesdays___child): 8,698 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Aaron gets a call that his mother is not well. She wants her eldest son to bring home the pretty young doctor he’s been dating. The problem is that Aaron has failed to tell his family that the pretty young doctor is a colleague...and male

A fluff fic at its core. Cute happy ending. My to-go fic when I want to read something short and light before bed.

Lightning Only Strikes Once...Maybe Twice (by Dazeventura6): 16,433 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: While on a custodial interview Aaron and Spencer are stuck in a time loop. Can they break it? Or will they be stuck forever?

Set after the Hardwick incident. The content is something that I wish it happened in the series. A much needed fix-it fic.

Mine (by non_andare): 6,115 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hotch has never noticed Reid before; he’s an inconspicuous Omega who naturally submits and Hotch likes his Omegas to have fire. Then Spencer starts dating another Alpha and all Hotch can think is one word. Mine.

Reid/OC is briefly mentioned but the fic is mainly about Hotch/Reid. Fluff with a bit of angst but eventually happy ending. Jealous Hotch and shy Reid is a nice combo tbh.

Criminal Bonds (by VincentMeoblinn): 26,107 words/13 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Child Death

Summary: Reid was framed for embezzlement a year ago. Hotchner pleaded guilty to several murders. They meet in prison where reid is regularly abused by the stronger inmates until Hotch takes him under his wing

Alternate Universe where Reid is not a part of the BAU. Prison romance. Slight twist at the end but ultimately a happy ending (in my opinion)

Wolf Moon (by Ahmose_Inarus): 117,736 words/34 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Alpha Werewolf Aaron Hotchner is far from pleased when Spencer Reid joins the team...The presence of the young werewolf is not welcome...but when Hotch learns that Spencer Reid was raised by a human mother after being abandoned by his werewolf father, he takes him under his wing. And perhaps he has found more than a friend in the younger wolf...But there’s an Alpha Female in the territory who is far from please...she’s had her eyes on Aaron Hotchner for a long time, and won’t let anyone stand in her way

An Omegaverse story. A bit long but worth every minute. The relationship between Hotch and Reid is so cute that it can take my frustration (and anger) against the antagonist away.

The Librarian and the Dad (by DarkJediQueen): 9,039 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating; Explicit

Summary: It started out as a little crush. Then it became so much more.

Cute. Cute. Super cute. Part 12 of the A Universe of Meetings series, which include multiple Alternate Universe stories. Check out the whole series if you are into Alternate Universe.

Solace (by Lady Angel (dameange)): 4,701 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: A Hotchner/Reid rewrite of The Angel Maker episode

Again, a fix-it fic I would like to actually happen.

Dr. Reid and Agent Hotchner (by E_Ng714): 21,013 words/14 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: The BAU has hit a rocky patch, and appears to be falling apart. There is something going on with Hotch, but no one can figure it out. Cruz orders all of them to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Dr. Reid’s presence isn’t welcome by Aaron, at least not at first.

Alternate Universe story. They are both slightly out-of-character but not too annoying. Hate to love. A bit of angst but eventually happy ending.

Forgive Me For All I Could Not Become (by DegrassiFanatic): 105,975 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (there’s sex scenes though lol)

Summary: In which Reid has always been good at hiding things. He hid his father’s departure and his mother’s illness from social services. He hid his addiction from his team. He hid his sexuality from the world. He hid his inappropriate feelings from his boss. That is until he’s bleeding out in Hotch’s arms, in an abandoned church, in Oklahoma. From there on out, Hotch and Reid learn to make a complete mess out of each other.

Definitely in my top 10 HotchReid fanfics. I didn’t expect much when I started because I usually don’t read over-100k-word-Teen and Up Audiences-fics but this one turned out to be perfect and it literally saved me from a rough week.

A Different Kind of Solitude (by kyrdwyn): 15 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: NC-17/FRAO (For Adults Only)

Summary: When Aaron and Spencer are trapped together by an unsub, things change between them while the team searches for their lost friends.

It is said “trapped by an unsub” but honestly the situation is not that bad. I tend to think in a positive way that this is a chance for HotchReid to get together. Pretty cute and domestic fic actually.

Home you know (by jetplane): 14,030 words/11 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: When Reid is diagnosed with cancer, he finds himself relying on Hotch for care and support. But spending so much time together forces each man to confront the feelings he has for the other, and it’s only a matter of time before their friendship evolves into something more.

Go Home, Omega (by goobzoop)

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, mean Hotch

Summary: Pretty much Hotch is bigoted about Omegas and Reid is let on the team cause he’s a genius, which Hotch hates, but then Reid learns to stand up for himself cause he’s super kickass and sweet and deserves the world

Oneiroi and Hephaestus (by Lady Angel (dameange)): 31,231 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: What if Reid was one of the Yellow-eyed demon’s special children?

If you like both Supernatural and Criminal Minds, this crossover fic is one to go for.

Come Undone (by EloquentDossier): 77,180 words/22 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When Spencer Reid forgot to take his suppressants two mornings in a row, it really shouldn’t have been a big deal. He had them in his bag at the hotel, and as long as he took one that evening, he’d be fine. What he couldn;t have prepared for, however, was the lab the latest victim worked at going into an at least twenty-four-hour-lockdown while he was in it. When Aaron Hotchner was asked to aid his subordinate through what would otherwise be an agonizing heat, he’d had several reservations, one of which had been the consent issue: Omegas couldn’t legally consent to sex during heat unless it was twenty-four hours in advance. With every concern rebutted logically (because of course the Bureau had an Agent Consent form in case of emergencies), he finally agreed. Of all the possible repercussions, however, neither man expected the one they received.

Or that time no one expected the Alpha to accidentally bond to the Omega while the Omega remained unaffected.

Cursed (by Black_Lotus): 60,254 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Centuries ago Vasile Stolojan, the bastard son of Vlad the impaler, was cursed to be a Vampire. Many years later he has a new name, Aaron Hotchner, and a curator job at a prestigious museum in America but the pain he feels for his lost love remains, until he meets the new Docent, Spencer Reid, who looks exactly like his lover. Is it possible that after six hundred years the man he loves has been reincarnated?

I LOVE this fic.

Yours (by NimueOfTheNorth): 17,232 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Spencer knew what he wanted in a relationship, and after years it looked like he found everything he dreamed of in Aaron. Now; if only Aaron’s past experiences and guilt complex wouldn’t get in the way.

❤️Niam (One Direction: Liam Payne x Niall Horan): while everybody is going crazy for Stylinson and Ziam, here I am rooting for Niam lol

Break my fall (by niamcuddles): 147,428 words/15 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Being a police officer was never an easy job, Liam wouldn’t have imagined that it’d bring someone like Niall into his life and that they could ever grow so close under these circumstances. If they only would’ve known who the guy was that giving them so many sleepless nights.

With Your Love (by brainstorm): 57,448 words/8 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: Liam’s life was nothing like a normal twenty-two year old guy. Raising a kid on his own was probably the hardest thing he’s ever had to face but he wouldn't change his little boy for the world. He never thought he’d find someone that was good for both him and his son, but that changed fast the day he met his son’s new teacher.

Closer (by niamcuddles): 209,765 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Niall’s pretty sure he doesn’t actually have a real crush on the rick and arrogant guy he’s been attempting to teach how to golf, but there’s something about him that just won’t allow Niall to say no. Not even when he gets made a very unexpected offer.

From the day that I met you (by niamcuddles): 272,394 words/25 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Partying and having a good time are probably two of Niall’s favorite things, he just wouldn’t have thought that a night out would end with him getting to know Liam, or that their paths would cross a lot more often than just this once. But somehow they happen to be more helpful to one another than expected.

Like the angel you are (by niamcuddles): 164,367 words/13 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: To be honest, Niall has already given up on his life ever getting any better, he’s used to being on his own and not being looked after, so maybe not even a way too caring stranger can help change that.

Too Much Too Soon (by brainstorm): 47,353 words/3 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Niall stands up for himself for the first time ever but things don’t turn out the way he wanted them to and he finds himself struggling between the way he’s always been or the way he wants to be. It’s a matter of time to know who’ll win, his mind or his heart. (sequel to “For You, My Love”)

Like the air I’m breathing (by niamcuddles): 81,307 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: Niall is four years younger than Liam and he is sick of being the little brother, that is until Liam suddenly finds a girlfriend and cuts Niall out of his life completely.

Now we are (by niamcuddles): 143,082 words/15 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Liam’s kind of keeping a busy schedule right now, his whole life seems to basically only consist of work and studying, so what he really can’t need at this time are friends who constantly want to hang out, but above that, 19 year ole uni students who can’t take no as an answer.

For what it’s worth (by niamcuddles): 120,800 words/10 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Liam has trouble figuring out his life and what he really can’t stand are loud, talkative and clingy people, but he would’ve never thought that getting rid of Niall could be this hard.

Something I need (by niamcuddles): 87,735 words/5 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: 16 years is a very long time, but Niall still remembers all the things he and Liam have gone through together

❤️Gramander (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: Original Percival Graves x Newt Scamander): I honestly don’t remember how I stumbled into this couple fandom but they do have several great fics. For some reason I only bookmark this one though.

Here We Are (by Miss_Lv): 22,177 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mpreg

Summary: Percival had long given up on the idea that he would find an omega mate, he ver seemed to fit what they were seeking in a husband, always too rough, not gentle enough. But then he meets Newt Scamander and the omega is utterly perfect to him, with his shy smiles and tendency to run headlong into danger. Catching vipers in his hands and keeping nifflers for company, Newt is nothing like the typical demure omega and Percival is lost before he can even think to resist.

❤️Jack O’Neill x Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG-1): Like I don’t even know their ship name for real…

I Walk Alone...No More (by Joy): 17,955 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Daniel finds love in another universe. Quantum Mirror Story.

Even though it was not original Daniel and original Jack ending up together, but in the end it was still Jack and Daniel, and I was happy with the ending.

Pulling Threads (by Joy): 13,241 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Daniel’s place in the world seems to be going nowhere. After what happened with The Others, sending him back, he’s got some thinking to do about what happens next. Does he go to Atlantis, forget about Earth? Or stay at the SGC in a role he’s not entirely sure is his. Then Jack invites him to dinner and his future is changed forever.

Civilians (by LadyRa): 46,557 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: AU ending to Point of View. What if the AU Samantha hadn’t been willing to let go of Jack?

Instinct (by AuroraNova): 27,783 words/10 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Daniel Jackson is an unconventional, career-focused omega. It’s going to take one special alpha to win him over. Jack O’Neill is determined to be that alpha.

Strange Interlude (by ELG): 228,960 words/4 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Daniel discovers that in other universes not only the uniforms are different… Jack and Daniel’s friendship has been under strain for some time but when Daniel is kidnapped by an AU Teal’c very different from our own, it’s up to Jack to save him. An AU Jack, however, complicates the situation considerably.

❤️Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (I ship Stucky so as a matter of fact, I ship the actors as well)

Sugar Daddy (by orphan_account): 91,139 words/17 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Sebastian is a broke and abandoned college kid trying to scrape up enough money to pay for rent and tuition. When he meets Chris, an accomplished architect who takes him under his wing, he doesn’t understand what his friends keep calling him until he looks it up for himself.

❤️Harringrove (Stranger Things: Billy Hargrove x Steve Harrington)

Bite Your Tongue And Choke Yourself To Sleep (by trashcangimmick): 21,173 words/5 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Steve is going to grad school in Chicago. Life is comfortable. Life is stable. Steve is doing great and he really wishes everyone would stop asking.

Set the Record Straight (by MischiefManaged97): 35,054 words/14 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Steve was a little nervous about making things right with Billy after their fight. Steve just wants to apologize and relax, but Billy may have other ideas.

You’re the best I’ve ever had; you’re the worst I’ve ever had (and thet keeps fuckin’ with my head) (by determinedlove): 52,697 words/14 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Mpreg, Intersex

Summary: Steve Harrington loved his status in the world and his life. He had great friends and babysat two amazing kids (but don’t tell them he said that). So what if he couldn’t sleep in his room sometimes because the house was just too damn big and the quiet didn’t help keep the nightmares at bay. So what if the new guy at school was everything he had been warned away from? He could play the game just as well as he could. But then Will goes missing. And the new guy proves to be everything people warned him about and so much more when no one else is around.

❤️Namjin (BTS: Kim Namjoon (RM) x Kim Seokjin (Jin)): These two are just so adorable together.

Pack Mentality (by resonae): 9,452 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Namjoon is possessive.

The Professor’s Wife (by EquinoxSolstice): 12,163 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: Everybody knew Professor Kim was already married. It was actually the first thing they asked the man during the first day of classes, with one brave student asking the question out loud for everyone to hear. The older man responded with deep dimples and a raised left hand, letting everyone see the plain, silver band glittering on his ring finger. But, as one Jeon Kungkook found out, they were all completely, terribly wrong. What? The Professor didn’t say he had a wife.

Why Three is Better Than Two (by lulublue1234): 35,298 words/23 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Seokjin is a bit of a stalker. Smitten with a Father-son duo. Where Yoongi is the most adorable child ever created.

The Shaman and the Exorcist (by metastacia): 145,258 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Seokjin doesn’t believe in ghosts. Which would cause a huge uproar if everyone knew since he’s kind of a big deal at his university; he’s a shaman who protects people from evil spirits. He doesn’t remember where he got the idea to do this from, all he knows is that superstitious people pay good money. Namjoon does believe in ghosts. Better yet, he can see them and he can expel them. But there’s a certain honey shaman at his university who’s stealing all his clients in his exorcism business, and he’s not happy about it because haunted people pay good money. So, what do they do? Figure out whose closet is holding all the skeletons, of course.

Fate Led Me To You (Now Let me Love You) (by MinMinnieMin): 58,382 words/15 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Seokjin did not believe he’d ever have a happy ending. How many happy endings did you ever hear an unmated Omega with a child have? But fate is a funny thing. What’s meant to be will always find its way. And Kim Namjoon tries his best to get Seokjin to see that. Because of fate, they found each other.

❤️Broyo (Prodigal Son: Gil Arroyo x Malcolm Bright): I seem to have a soft spot for couples with noticeable age difference

To be Normal (by holyfudgemonkeys (erraticallyinspired)): 70,399 words/26 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Mpreg

Summary: Malcolm has a terrible encounter while out trying to be ‘normal’ and get roofied. He doesn’t report it and tries to move on but winds up pregnant. He turns to Gil for support who is there with open arms. As they work through the choices Malcolm has to make and Gil is just there more and more their relationship evolves into something more intimate and romantic than either of them could ever have planned for.

❤️Hannor (Detroit: Become Human: Hank Anderson x Connor): Again, another couple with considerable age difference

Arrival (by coffee666): 83,075 words/7 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hank just wanted help around the house for Cole. He never expected such a goofy thing that laughed and hummed and protected Cole with all of his being. Connor is not like other androids - but neither of them truly know how deep those differences go.

The Opposite Life (by Speckeh): 38,612 words so far

Status: Incompleted (9/10 chapters)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: 17 years and 9 months ago, Connor decided to start his own family, alone. He falls in love with the voice sample of Donor 55719, as the mysterious man talks about a mundane life. It’s everything he wished for. After 17 years of loving the two minute voice sample that fathered his children, what will Connor do when that voice suddenly appears in his life?

By Default//By Design (by Make_It_Worse): 9,211 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Connor, an overworked clothing designer, who is also a huge brat. Hank, an HK800 android model, who isn’t having any of it.

❤️Hannigram (Hannibal: Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham)

With a Crown of Stars (by thehoyden): 33,536 words/7 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When the call connects, Will says, “I know what kind of crazy I am, but I’m not this kind of crazy.”

“Will?” Dr. Lecter says.

“Yes, hi, sorry,” Will says. “It’s me. There’s a baby on my porch.”

Taken for Rubies (by emungere): 76,842 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Crossdressing, Feminization

Summary: Will invites Hannibal over for dinner. Hannibal brings him wine and flowers. A dissection of their pasts and the slow convergence of their domestic lives.

❤️Rinch (Person of Interest: John Reese x Harold Finch)

Pallas’s Rosefinch (by elbowsinsidethedoor): 55,536 words/25 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

Summary: Harold needs John. John needs Harold. And that’s the way I like it!

Difficult To Name aka Titles Are Difficult (by elbowsinsidethedoor): 51,710 words/17 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: John is a retired pro who comes back for a special client. For those who fear a BDSM themed story, please note that this is a tender love story.

Milk and Cream (by hallulawy): 33,388 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Out-of-character

Summary: Story between John (Alpha, 35, general practitioner) and Harold (Omega, 27-ish, entrepreneur, five-month-pregnant). They are not married (yet).

❤️Noah Reid x Dan Levy (They play Patrick and David in Schitt’s Creek if you don’t know)

Fries Before Guys (by wildxwired): 29,065 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Six weeks ago, Home (on a) Plate showed up in front of the MTV building in West Hollywood and started providing the locals with quite possibly the most amazing and inventive variations of grilled cheese sandwiches and cheese fries every Monday and Thursday, between the hours of 12 and 2. It wasn’t just the melt -in-the-mouth gooey goodness that had people clambering around the truck, or the insanely fair prices that were usually nowhere to be found on the rest of the street food in LA, but the fact that this was all served up by some hazel eyed specimen with the forearms of a god probably didn’t hurt either.

118 notes · View notes

forthehpfanboys · 4 years

Text

Calling It Even

Pair: Ron Weasley x Reader; he/him.

Summary: You just moved 'across the pond' from Ilvermorny to Hogwarts, but before you actually moved you'd made a friend! Well, two and you just so happen to bump into them at the Leaky Couldren!

Warnings: Swearing, Slightly Suggestive (Ron's raging hormones™).

Note: Hi! This is my first time writing and posting a fic in a few years, so I'm sorry for spelling errors or stupid mistakes! It'll get better as I rewarm my.. Writing.. Muscles? Anyway, Thank you for reading! Let me now if this is good and enjoy!

~DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE~

Moving from the US to Britain was just as stressful as you figured it would be, but going from Ilvermorny to Hogwarts felt like an actual asteroid was thrown into your world. You had to leave behind your friends, close relatives and of course your home, then you had a whole new school to deal with on top of that. Different houses, different teachers, different classes and the rules. Merlin's beard, were the rules different. You can distinctly remember bombarding your guardian with question after question. You were still surprised you got to carry your wand around with you outside of school! Of course the actual moving process had taken its toll on your guardians, and they knew what it was doing to you. You were tired, emotionally, physically- Godric, did you need a break before school started.

You would be starting your fifth year when summer ended, and that was in a few weeks or so. This should’ve given you the time to gather up the books, potion supplies and robes needed, maybe even find some friends your age, but you had other plans, apparently. You had spent the entire summer huddled over their desk waiting for an owl to return with a response letter and avoiding the cluttered shopping strip. You didn’t wanna tackle getting lost and missing a response from your favorite redheads. Now, your headmaster at Ilvermorny had recommended you create a quill-pal at Hogwarts so it felt less chaotic when you arrived, but you ended up finding two that were the pure embodiment of chaos.

So, technically, you did end up making friends with the program, just not what you expected. Each letter was seemingly cut in half, one with orange ink, one with purple. In said response, you learned the orange was usually Fred and purple was usually Georges. In said letters, you learned they are two years older than you, live in what they call a ‘Burrow’ and owning their own shop was definitely wrapped in their future. You spent a solid year getting to know the Infamously Famous,Charming and Totally Destructive personality of the Weasley Twins. Honestly, you seriously looked forward to seeing them in person, even if it was their last year. You three managed to get along like you’d known each other their entire lives. Best part is they promised to find you on the first day and show you around!

You remember Fred mentioning their roles on the Quidditch team and George saying something about pranks with fireworks and you knew. Oh, you knew the three of you would cause chaos and you were so excited. The red-headed duo also promised they’d introduce you to their friends and their extensive family. Fred had brought up having a younger brother your age and judging from the cluttered moving photo they sent you, he was awkward but in the best way. You managed to remember the names of the red-headed family members only because of the scribbled writing on said photo pointing out who was who. But for whatever reason, the youngest Weasley son always manages to be the first one you notice yourself staring at. He was genuinely really cute. Blue eyes, freckles, red hair, absolutely adorable- Ok. So you may have a crush on him without even knowing him but you can not blame yourself. The twins told you stories about the younger redhead and he only got cuter as time went on, but I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?

Currently, you are walking down Diagon Alley. Not only did you need a break from unpacking, sorting and waiting for the Weasley's owl to return, but you also needed to restock on quills. Yup. Of all things, quills. (P/n) has this terrible chewing habit and adores the flavor of quills, or so you guess. You loved the rascal to bits, but damn, they ate the feathers like they drank water. Your guardian said they would finish unpacking the very few boxes your family were collectively avoiding while you went shopping down the popular alley. Oh! And speaking of water, you glanced up from the cobblestone pathway and noted the Leaky Cauldron sign hanging a few shops down. You’d heard stories of how comfortable the atmosphere of the little restaurant had been from the Weasleys and you couldn’t help but overhear wizards and witches around you chatting it up about possibly getting a butterbeer. You decided, why not? Could spare a few coins to buy the golden drink or maybe just a water. It was, like, 90 degrees outside and the cluttered path way didn’t help the soft summer breeze flow through at all.

You gently nudged your way through the bustling crowd of wizards and witches and pushed open the creaky old door. The smell of sweetness and smoke hit your noise as you stepped in, your eyes briefly wandering over the crowd, looking for an empty table. Once you spotted a table for two in the corner, you gently shuffled past crowded tables and rushed waiters apologizing as you went by. Finally sitting down at the small table, you let out a relieved sigh, not noticing a set of eyes following your every movement. Your eyes easily wandered around the shop but landed on piercing blue across the small restaurant. You immediately snapped your gaze to the fire pit and walls, choosing to avoid the gaze until a server walked over. You were tracing the gray, worn down bricks of the wall right next to you when an older woman in a simple uniform walked over the table.

“Good evenin, love. What can I get you?” she casted a bright smile your way, her hands in the small pocket of her apron as she waited for a response.

“Just a butterbeer, please.” You managed to stutter out, sending her a shy smile back. She nodded her head and headed off to another table after putting in your order.

Once she left, your eyes met a set of blue eyes once again. The longer you looked, the more you thought they were formilair, but you turned away, choosing not to dwell on anything besides the table that was placed in front of you. You were so busy tracing the grooves in the old wooden table, you didn’t notice the owner of the blue eyes nudge the red-head next to him and point in your direction. What finally brought you out of the tracing trance was a glass mug filled with liquid golden and soft foam slide toward you, followed by the sound of chairs scraping the old wooden floor and a distinct female voice calling out “where are you two going now?” Your hands wrapped around the glass and just before you could bring it to your lips, two people moving toward the table got your attention. You turned to look up and almost choked on air, your chest shaking as you coughed causing your mug to nearly empty all over the table. You didn’t even have time to fully register who was advancing closer because the warm drink was flowing off the table and onto your new shirt.

“Shit-!” You grumbled down at the spilt mess. Feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, you placed the mug down hoping to save what was left in it as you grabbed napkins.

“Now, I knew we shocked people, but I had no idea we had this kind of effect, Georgie.” Fred spoke and took up the seat across from you, causing his twin to let out a snort. Your head shot up at the sound of the British accent. He'd managed to effectively put a stop to you drying up the mess with one sentence. Fred grabbed a few to help wipe down the table, but was far more focused on your reaction. Your eyes snapped over to George as he leaned on the back of his brother's chair and flickered between the two freckle covered idiots. You made a mental note of who was who.

“Do you always sneak up on your victims or do you introduce yourselves like normal people?” You scoffed out, a smile growing on your face as you awkwardly piled up the useless napkins.

“We only sneak up on people we’ve been friends with for years and finally get to meet.” George spoke, sass laced in his voice.

“Oh please. It’s been like 1 year.” You rolled your eyes, reaching for your cup again and taking a small sip.

“And I don’t think we got an anniversary gift from you, love. I believe you owe us an apology. Missing our 1 year anniversary like that.” Fred spoke, a hand going to his chest in fake shock as George just tsked and shook his head responding with his own ”Shame, really.”

You let out your own soft laugh and raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I'm sorry.” You spoke setting your glass down again, sarcasm dripping from you as you crossed your arms over the table and leaned forward. “I didn’t realize I got something from you two for our ‘one year anniversary’.” You used air quotes, outlining the obvious.

“Godric, it’s so good to meet someone who finally matches our sass level.” Fred smiled at you. “But how did you not see us?” he used his thumb to point at a table behind him, almost taking out George's eye.

“Oi. Watch it.” the ever so slightly younger twin shoved the hand in his face away.

“Well, obviously, I didn’t expect you to run into you guys here.” You spoke, finishing the little amount of what was left of the butterbeer. After wiping your mouth on your sleeve, you shot the two a playful glare. “You owe me a drink.”

“Or you can meet Ickle Ronniekins and we can call it even.”

“That doesn’t even come close to equal.” You whined, sitting back in your chair, your head hitting the wall behind you a little too sharply. As much as you wanted to meet the younger bro, you were nervous. You may have let it slip out to the brothers that you desperately wanted to get to know Ron, but what if he didn't like you?

It didn't matter what you thought. You didn’t have a choice because the two may or may not have shipped you two, but that’s for them to know and for you to never, ever, ever find out. The twins let out a laugh at your demise and both stood up, one grabbing the empty mug and the other practically dragging you out of your cozy corner.

“I say it’s fair.” George spoke, following the older redhead who was almost quit literally dragging you by the arm. The two idiots led you to a table in the middle, where it was borderline empty besides 3 people sitting, all chatting to themselves. The chatting came to a stop when George set your mug down in the middle and Fred forced you to sit across from another redhead, who you quickly recognized.

“Um, Fred..” The witch next to Ron spoke up just as Fred sat to your left and George to your right. “Who is this?”

“This, Granger, is our quill-pal, (Y/n). He comes from America and just transferred over. Good old quill-pal (Y/n), meet Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and our own little Ickle Ronniekins.” Fred pointed to each witch and wizard, pointing them out so you could put names to faces. The nickname caused Ron to groan out a ‘shod off, Fred’, to which the older brother just snickered.

“Oh, hi! I’ve heard alot about you guys.” You smiled, casting them a small wave. Your accent, to them, was very interesting. It was so different from what they were used to, which definitely wasn’t a bad thing. They actually thought it fit you really well.

“Well, (y/n), it’s great to meet you.” Harry spoke up, a smile replacing the confused expression he once held. He was just relieved you weren’t asking for an autograph or constantly shaking his hand. It was refreshing.

“Likewise!” You flashed a smile to the messy raven haired dude before stretching back in your chair, head turning, trying to avoid the twins in his view to find a waitress. You gave up on searching when the twins purposefully blocked your view and Ron cleared his throat.

“Wait.. This is (y/n)? The bloak you guys don’t shut up about?” Ron pointed at you, almost as if accusing you of causing him pain. The twins nodded their heads, in sync, while landing a kick to both of his legs. “Ow-! I'm just asking!” he rubbed his bruised shins and rested his chin on the table so he could shoot them a glare. “Arse holes.” He grumbled. The twins gave him a sort of look that meant ‘shut up or we will not hesitate to strike again’ and honestly, Ron felt a tiny bit of fear enter his soul and his glare dropped.

“Aww! Did you two really mention me that much? I’m flattered, boys!” A confident smirk stretched across your face as the twins blushed ever so slightly, George a little redder than Fred.

“No.” They countered.

“Yes.” Ron groaned out, wanting revenge for the kicks. ”Merlin. They’d go on and on about how cool you were. ‘Ma, he said he plays Quidditch, too! Can we get the booms out?’, ‘His favorite color is (f/c) and his favorite animal is (f/a)! We should work on (f/c) (f/a) fireworks for him!’. My family officially knows more about you than I know about the Chudley Cannons.” He ran his right hand through his hair and his left waved around as he spoke. You couldn’t help but snicker. “It’s been actual hell. I’m just glad you're here so they can shut up.”

Harry nudged his best friend in the side before speaking. “Hey, be nice, This is probably their first crush!” The comment caused Hermione to almost snort butterbeer, Ron let out a very loud laugh and you to high five Harry meanwhile the twins turned redder than their quidditch uniforms.

“Oi, Potter. I will burn your broomstick.” Fred threatened, pointing at the boy who lived.

“Aw come on Freddie, be nice. It isn’t their fault you gave them the material for this. Relax, bud.” You shoved his hand away.

George took your mug and slid it out of your reach and to the end of the table. “Well, we were gonna buy you another drink, but since you're being an arse, you're not getting a sickle from us.” George turned to you and stuck out his tongue.

The simple banter continued as the 6 of you sat in front of the simple fireplace, laughter filling the little stone eatery. You had known the group in person for about 15 minutes and you already fit in like a puzzle piece. After a few more butter beers and another 15 minutes later, the 6 of you had decided to go on the hunt for some goodies, so you all paid for the drinks and led the cluttered restaurant. Fred and George started off leading the group, but got sidetracked at Zonko’s. Hermione had practically dragged Harry off into Flourish and Blotts when he mentioned not having his school supplies. That left you and Ron alone to get to know eachother better.

“So, what’s Ilvermorny like?” He asked, his hands in his pockets as he walked beside you.

“Well.. " you hesitated."Definitely different, if what Fred and George said was true. We don’t have a sorting hat, instead statues would pick who they want. It’s a whole history thing. Everyone's robes are blue and this reddish color, so i'm excited for a change! And jeez, the wand rules. They're, at least, 10 times stricter than here. I had to get sorted before I could even hold a wand and Ilvermony students can’t legally have wands until their 17. Bullshit if you ask me.” You scoffed. “I was put in Wampus. I guess that's a cool thing.” This caused Ron to let out a snort and a cackling laugh.

“I’m sorry- you got put in what??” He turned to you, a huge smile on his lips.

“A-A wampus?” You spoke, hoping he’d ignore the stutter. You ended up staring at his smiling face, making a promise to make him laugh whenever it was physically possible. It was so perfect.

“Aaaanndd that is what, exactly?” The redhead's smile turned into a small smirk as he responded. “Is it like- like a creature or a plant? It sounds like a plant-”

“How on earth does Wampus sound like a plant??” You looked at him with a confused expression. Your arm shot out to punch his bicep lightly. “Of course it’s a creature, Ronald!”

You went on to explain all about what a wampus was, however, Ron was no longer listening. He was slowly drifting toward the quidditch shop, his jaw practically on the floor. He pressed his freckled covered hands to the glass window of the shop.

“You really must be yanking my wand! Do you see this?!” The redhead was drooling over a brand new broom. The little plastic sign next to the window model read ‘Firebolt Y.5’

“Oh my go-Is that-” You stood next to him, a look of shock. “How did I walk past this shop and NOT see this??” You grabbed his arm and whisked him away from the window, bringing him into the shop. Quidditch, of course, was your favorite sport. You were even on the Wampus quidditch team! You played a seeker and you loved to believe you were the best! “Oh my god, yes. If I had this across the pond” you spoke while pointing at the brooms hanging on the walls, "I'd be the best damn seeker in Ilvermorny history!” You all but squealed out.

While you were ranting about the possibilities of owning this bad boy, Ron was noticing something. He was noticing, since you grabbed his arm, he wanted to hold your hand. He was noticing how your eyes lit up while you were talking about destroying other teams on the fields and how big your smile was and how cute- Cute. Cute?

Wait.

Hold on. Cute? You? He thought he thought Hermione was cute? But now, now it was you. You suddenly clouded his mind and he'd only know you for less than an hour? He blamed his hormones.. Or maybe it was the way your eyes were sparkling so much more when compared to the photo you sent his brothers. Or your stupid perfect hair was so perfect even if it was a mess from constantly running your fingers through it. Every freckle, every mole, every dimple on your skin, he wanted to memorize it all. Suddenly, you turned to him, the smile wider than before. Shit, you were waiting for a response, but he was too wrapped up in how perfect you were for him to think straight.

“WhUt?” His voice cracked as he basically shouted at you. His face turned pink with embarrassment, but it transformed into a color to rival the Gryffindor red he usually sported during the school year. The poor git basically melted into a puddle when he heard you let out a giggle.

“I was asking if you wanted to split the cost! Fred and George told me when Harry got his Firebolt, but I bet it’s nothing compared to this baby. We could split it!” You were basically jumping up and down.

Ron blinked a few times, his brain trying to process everything. “Split?”

“Yes, Ronnie. Split.” You giggled, wrapping your arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer to your side.

“Ronnie split.” He muttered without realizing it. “OH! Oh- The broom! Split the broom! Cost! Right!” he ran a hand through his hair, his entire face felt hot. Ron was sure his face was blending in with his red locks. “I-I can check! With Fred and George and- and we see?” He squeaked, noticing how close he was to you. He audibly gulped, his tongue poking out to lick his suddenly dry lips.

“Cool! We could all share it!” You reached into your pocket, pulling out all the coins nestled in your pocket. As you counted over the coins, the only words that stuck in Ron’s head were ‘we’ ‘share’ and he could basically hear sirens going off. You’d already gotten to know his older brothers. What if you already liked one? Or both? He didn’t even know if you were single.

“Ah- Well i'm sure we can just handle it. Just the two of us.” He clapped his hands together, choosing not to think of how much attention the noise brought him. You looked at him with a confused expression but let it be with a shrug.

“If you say so, Ronnie.” You smiled, shaking your head. You had no idea the redhead was avoiding the idea of his brothers sharing you instead of the broomstick.”Iiisss there a reason you don’t wanna share?” You asked as you shoved your hands in your pockets, putting the coins away. You missed Ron's face turning bright red as you gazed on at the Chudley Cannons merchandise hanging off the walls.

“I-I’m just sick of sharing with my siblings, y-ya know?” His voice cracked as he spoke, but he tried to cover it up with a cough. “Um.. I do have a lot of older brothers, so hand-me-downs are really all I get-”

“Oooh, right. Right. That’s fair.” you looked down at your feet. You forgot. Gerd and Feorge didn't throw it in your face, but they did mention when money got tight and how they planned on opening a joke shop and how they told their products to kids for extra cash. You should've remembered. You cleared your throat, your eyes darting to him, to the door back to him. Desperate for a way to change the atmosphere, you offered leaving the store. "Honeydukes?” you asked way too loudly in the small shop. ”Wanna.. Go to Honeydukes?" You cleared your throat into your hand. Ron couldn't have agreed fast enough.

The two of you walked out of the store, making small, awkward talk as you continued your stroll across the stoley path. When you came up to Honeydukes Ron, to your surprise, hurried to the door and held it open for you. As you walked in, he did a playful bow as if you were royalty. It brought a smile to your face and things fell into the rhythm from before.

"I'm not too keen on pumpkin pasties, but I do love chocolate frogs. When I was a kid, I dreamed of being put on one of the cards, but that kinda faded. I’m thinking maybe a famous quidditch player? Not quite sure yet." You rambled as Ron grabbed what someone might consider way too much of the chocolate treat. He would call that someone insane and double the batch. While he was literally filling his arms with the small boxes, you were busy looking at the candy wands, your mouth practically drooling at the idea of sweets. "We don't have a lot of this across the pond." you muttered to yourself as you reached across a table to grab a few different boxes of candy you've never tried before, one being Bertie Bott’s Everything Flavored Beans.

"Really? What are you used to?" Ron spoke up behind you, his eyes going from the candy resting in your hands to your forearm. The redhead found his eyes trailing up and landing on your bicep, causing his mind to wonder and basically dive head first into the gutter.

"Well, we had candies like Skittling Soot Poppers. They're these dark chocolate little balls that pop in your mouth once the chocolate melts. It's so cool! If you put one in your mouth and keep it open, sparks will come out. All kinds of colors, too." you smiled, remembering staying up far too late into the night with your Wumpas housemates and munching away. "Oh! And these little cakes called Twinkles. They would glitter like gold in the moonlight, but turn silver in the sun. They always taste like vanilla and cream."

Ron gulped. We all know what he's thinking at this point. He'd love to try some cream, and not the filling of the Twinkles, if ya catch my drift. He blinked out of a fantasy and shook his head. Bad Ronald. He scolded himself, but was yeeted out of his head when he heard you laugh.

"What? What's so funny?" his head tilted like a confused puppy, one of the chocolate frogs falling from the top of the pile and landing with a soft thud. As you bent down to pick up the box for him, you answered his question.

"Nothing, you're just being cute." you set the chocolate frog box on top of his pile and began down the aisle way.

"W.. Wait, really?!"

His response brought a snort out of you. He sounded so excited it made your heart jump. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, Ronnie. Godric, even that was cute." You spoke as you turned the corner and headed down a new aisle. Your eyes scanned along the other treats laid out on the shelves while your hand grabbed a few sugar quills. “Ok, I think we got enough now. What do ya think?” You turned to where you thought he was, but your view lacked the pale freckled boy. “Ron?” Your voice carried through the store. “Ronnie?” You called out again as you went to the last aisle you saw him at. When your head popped around the corner you were met with a sight you thought was kodiak worthy.

There he was, bright red in the face, bright wide blue eyes standing out against his red skin, mouth hanging open and every chocolate frog box laying at his feet. You broke him. How the hell did he manage to get cuter?

“Ron?” Your legs moved without you even demanding them too and soon you stood in front of him. Has he even blinked? Is.. Is he ok? Shifting the candies in your arms, you managed to free a hand to gently close his mouth. “Hello? Are the lights on inside?”

“You said I was cute.” You were lucky you heard him over the crowded shop.

“Yes, Red.” You spoke, a giggle escaping your lips. “We established this already.” You shook your head, but it was halted when his blue eyes finally landed on your own, causing a heat to spread to your ears.

“Yeah.. But what KIND of cute?”

“Kind? What?”

“There are different kinds. Like am I cute like a crup or am I.. Am.. Like am I romantic-” He froze again when you leaned over and kissed his cheek, hopefully answering his question. You chose to ignore the grumpy customers trying to fit down the aisle and, instead, rested your hand on his hand. You would’ve held it but the stupid boxes of cursed choco frogos where in the way. “I hope that was ok.” You, also, chose to ignore his tiny, squeaky ‘bloody hell’ and dragged him to the counter.

“Ya know, when your brothers told me about you, I couldn’t get you out of my head.” You confessed, laying all the candy out on the counter and turned to him again. His blush had died down and he wasn’t as jumpy or frozen. Ron followed suit and dumped the boxes onto the counter and immediately whipped his hands on his jeans.

“I-I was glad I got to hear about you everyday.” He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared down at his shoes. “I um- I wanted to write, but uh, thought it would be weird.” He didn’t turn to look at you but his crystal blue eyes bounced between you, the candy and the glass counter in front of him. “A-and I’d love to get to know you more. And m.. Maybe do this again? Just you and me? Again?”

Your face almost split in two as you felt Ron’s hand brush against yours.. “I would absolutely adore to do this again, Ronnie.” He intertwined his fingers with yours, his blush coming back easily, causing you to let out a chuckle. While you did end up paying for most of the candy and forgetting about the quills, you managed to leave hand in hand with the red haired Chudley Cannon loving dork. Of course this caused the twins to tease you relentlessly about falling so hard for their baby brother. Hell, they even made a lame song, something about ‘Ronnie I love you’ and ‘when we’re apart my heart beats only for you’. It literally never stopped. In fact it got worse as time went on, especially when you were sorted into Gryffindor once school started.

Oh, but was so worth it.

#ron weasley x male reader #ron weasley #ron weasley imagine #male reader #fred and george #hp x male reader #hp imagine #fred weasley #george weasley #harry potter #hermione granger #x male reader #Ronny Writes #fic #hp male fic #hp fic

294 notes · View notes

danideservedbetter · 3 years

Text

Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

#idiopathic hypersomnia #health and wellness #writing challenge

11 notes · View notes

suekre · 3 years

Note

So ive followed you a VERY long time (like from the deviantart days lmao) and i only just realised that you were talking about ocd in that post. Just wanted to let you know that i have ocd as well and god it is exhausting and i know exactly how you feel! I finally start therapy for it in 2 weeks. Pls know that i love your art and you very much and appreciate everything you create and share with us. All the best!! X

Hey you, I know you! Thank you for coming to my inbox and sharing this with me, I appreciate that so much. :) I am SUPER happy for you that you are about to get the help you need, that is awesome. I wish I could have had it at the time!

(And oh boy, the good old deviantart days, haha! Always happy to have my longtime followers around! :D)

OCD is exhausting indeed. People who aren’t affected can’t imagine what a nightmare it is. I, personally, am more prone to intrusive thoughts than actual obsessive-compulsive behavior. When people hear „OCD“, they usually think of obsessive hand washing or „leaving out every black tile while walking through a kitchen“ or so, while it can manifest in other ways. I didn’t know back then. I just thought I was going completely crazy at the time. I think I mentioned my disorder at times but I never actually openly talked about my own experiences (where I come from, mental disorders are a big NO NO, because it’s all in your head, just pull yourself together, other people are ACTUALLY suffering, it’s just dumb thoughts, you just need to think positive, y’know).

I kinda feel like doing it now. Just to get it out, and also to occupy my brain and hands and hey, maybe someone else can pick this up and find themselves in my own experiences. I sure know how relieved I was when I found out I wasn’t alone with my what I thought was a ‚Very Weird, Unique and Niche Problem‘.

I gotta admit first - I’m doing much better nowadays. Even my worst days, as horrible as they may feel at the time, do in no way compare to the hell I went through in the second half of 2015. I have come a long way since my last (and so far worst... omg, oof, I hope there won’t be another) episode of intrusive thoughts. But, oh boy, was it intense. It was the absolute worst time of my life, ever. I’m not writing this to scare anyone. Anyone who is familiar with this, will know how bad it is and anyone who can’t relate at all won’t feel affected anyway and will maybe even think something along the lines of „What the fuck?!“. I get it. It DOES sound crazy.

I have always been an overthinker. I always needed more validation and reassurance than other people around me and for the longest time I had no idea why that was. It was usually subtle - always kinda there but never strong enough to actually affect my life in a negative way. I just felt off at times, and not always super good. But I was generally ok, I could always manage.

Until that one episode that changed my life forever. I know that sounds dramatic but, even though I am in a good place nowadays, it sure DID change my life. I was 31, I lived together with my then-boyfriend and I still remember the exact date. Friday, July 24th, 2015. I remember the exact moment when my entire mind collapsed. It’s so weird, it literally happened from one second to the other. I am not making this up to sound more dramatic, it was a matter of seconds.

I was on my way home after work and I felt… restless and stressed. It felt good to get off work (it was my first full time job and... it didn’t go well, to put it nicely) but I was no longer really looking forward to my week off, and our trip to our favorite Open Air the following week. I picked up some dinner on my way, I came home, and I saw my boyfriend in the middle of the living room, he was making some preparations for our upcoming trip. When I saw him, tall and handsome and smiling at me, I smiled back but inside I felt like crying. My smile was fake. Kissing him felt weird, and also fake. And all of a sudden, there it was. The life changing thought:

„I don’t love him anymore.“

A simple thought. I had weird thoughts before, like anyone does, but they never had any greater impact on me. This time, though, that one thought knocked me off my feet. Not literally, I had turned into a pillar of salt somehow. This was the Perfect Man Of My Dreams (at least that was what I thought back then). The man I wanted to spend my life with, the man who made me happy every day! How could that even be, how could I even think something like that?

I felt even more restless. I didn’t tell him, of course. When he asked how my day was, I put on my fake smile again and said it was okay. We ate our dinner (although I had instantly lost any appetite), and I kept looking at him and the thoughts... just kept coming back.

You don’t love him anymore. What if you don’t love him anymore?

On repeat. It was awful. I just couldn’t shake them off.

It’s the stress, I tried to tell myself. You’re overworked. It’ll be good, you just need some rest.

But I couldn’t relax. My heart was racing, my blood was pumping. I didn’t know what was going on. I begged him to leave his work undone and take me out for an after work drink and he agreed. All the time, the thoughts wouldn’t leave my mind. I didn’t want to think them, but they were merciless, they just kept coming back. I felt so helpless.

A few drinks later, I had calmed down a bit, at least so much that I could stand to look at my BFs face again without feeling guilty. There you go, I said to myself, not quite convinced, you’ll be good. It’s already wearing off. When we crawled into bed later, I was tired and relaxed (and tipsy) enough to sleep and convinced that this was just a little glitch, that things would be just fine in the morning.

When I woke up, I felt exhausted. My heart was racing... and the thoughts came back IMMEDIATELY.

You don’t love him anymore. You gotta leave him.

What. The. HELL!? Why are these thoughts still a thing? Why are they still there? Why do they keep coming back?

I kept trying to push them away but the more I tried, the more intense they became. As if they tried to spite me. I started losing focus on everything else around me, the world slowly started to blur. It was just Me And My Thoughts from here. I tried my best to hide my state, and I think I managed for a while, but I felt like a robot any time I talked to someone. When people would pick up on my confusion, I usually brushed their concerns off. It’s nothing, I’m good.

I mean... how do you even tell someone that you just. can’t. stop. thinking. about whether you still love your boyfriend or not? According to the world, that is something you “just feel and know” after all. Except that I didn’t. I had no clue. I couldn’t feel anything. But, according to the world, that was perfectly normal, too. “Honeymoon phase is over at some point, babe. That’s everyday life, you grow comfy, it’s no longer a flash of feelings every day, you know that. You guys have been together for a while after all, what did you expect?!” ... what I felt didn’t feel like comfy everyday life either, though. Comfy everday life shouldn’t come with high key anxiety, sleepless nights and a loss of appetite at any lived second. If that was comfy everyday life, I sure didn’t want it.

So, what do you do when you have no clue about something? Right! Google! Go and ask the world! “How do you know that you still love your partner?”, “Is the love gone?” ... I spent hours, DAYS doing that, but no answer I found was remotely statisfying (or maybe it was for a minute, but the reassurance never lasted long) and I felt that those articles didn’t actually understand what I was asking in first place. I would spend every day like that. Permanently asking myself the same questions, analyzing myself, testing if the Big Feels for the man had decided to come back... nah, not really. Maybe NOW? If I just look at him close enough?! ... maybe if I squint a little?! Fuck, still nothing! Niente! Nada! I am a horrible person, aaah!

(Our open air trip was an emotional disaster by the way, I felt horrible all the time, and the permanent rain didn’t help. -3/10, do not recommend).

If I had known at the time that I wouldn’t spend just a few days but (more or less) six months with this shit... oof. I was already exhausted after those few days.

Over the course of the next weeks I stopped eating almost entirely. I just couldn’t. This permanent tight anxiety knot in my stomach made me want to throw up at the mere thought of food. At my worst point I weighed 138 lbs (63 kg), at 6 ft 1 (1,85 m). I often joked about how I had almost reached runway model standard. I was sick, I was weak, I was scared, but I just couldn’t eat and the bits I DID force myself to eat were burned almost right away by my crippling anxiety. (I still have clothes from that time, and I sometimes beat myself up for no longer fitting into them before I remember that I should NEVER fit into them EVER again.)

Instead I smoked a pack a day. I hardly got any sleep and when I did, it wasn’t relaxing. Always in Fight and Flight mode. My body was at alert level any minute, any day. I’m still asking myself how it could be that I never actually... collapsed. I was always tired, exhausted and malnourished... I dunno, you tell me.

The thoughts never really disappeared. They kept coming back in all variations. You don’t love him anymore. You have to leave him. You may not want to, but you have to. You don’t love him. I had very few “good moments” in between but in those good moments, my mind was usually frantically looking for explanations and reasons behind all this. For ways to improve my relationship, to feel better about my boyfriend. I came up with the WEIRDEST shit. Almost every day I found something new that bothered me. One day he was a little boring. That’s it! We gotta go out more, do more stuff, that’ll change everything. ... aaah, no. Guess not. The next day, it was something else. The day after THAT, it was something entirely different again.

I was suddenly prone to making some HELLA weird impulsive decisions, too. „I gotta break off contact to that one person RIGHT now, THEN I WILL FEEL BETTER!“, “I gotta talk to my mom about THAT particular incident in my childhood right now, THEN I WILL FEEL BETTER!”, “I gotta make a trip to the mall JUST NOW, THEN I WILL FEEL BETTER!”… the decisions made total sense to me the second I made them, for about ten minutes at most, but the initial rush of relief started to fade again quickly and I frantically started looking for new solutions. Google was my best friend. I couldn’t go a day without googling exessively. Overthinking, pacing, googling. Any day, any hour awake. Over weeks. A few months even. My mind was constantly reeling. It was a bottomless pit.

I cannot put into words how exhausting that was. Sometimes the idea of throwing myself out of the next window seemed SO tempting, not because I wanted to die, but because I wanted the thoughts to stop tormenting me.

(I was out of regular therapy at the time, btw. I thought about calling my therapist about it but never did it. I felt isolated, I literally thought I had to do this all by myself.)

At some point, a few months into it, I somehow transferred to zombie mode. The thoughts became a little less intense over time. They were never gone but not quite as nagging anymore. But any time I wasn’t in alert mode, I felt just hollow instead. Sucked dry of any joy, of any emotion, of any sign of life. I just... functioned. Still tried to hide it. I dunno how well I did with that. Probably not at all well. I kept it all to myself, just because it felt that ridiculous. Tried to find excuses. “I’m just tired.”, “You know, there’s a lot going on in my head right now, but I’ll be good.” ... truth is that I don’t remember a whole lot of that time, it’s all blurry. There are just a few significant moments.

Such as that one evening, after work, when I left the building, made a few steps and stood five (or ten? fifteen??? who knows?! not me.) minutes on the spot, motionless, because I could no longer remember my way home.

I got fired from that job, by the way. I’m sure it was mostly due to low performance, I get it, but I can’t blame my poor state alone - they were also assholes.

Anyway.

I had, of course, never stopped the googling and one day, after hours of browsing any niche I hoped I hadn’t browsed yet, I somehow found a blog written by a young woman like me. The description tackled almost all of my thought patterns and I was blown. away. She asked herself the very same questions, with the very same twists, and... she even had a name for it.

ROCD. Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I cried for what felt like hours. Out of relief. There was a person in this world who knew exactly what I was going through. And she even had tips how to overcome it. It wasn’t the first time I had heard about OCD, but as it had never affected me in any way before (I, too, associated it with compulsive hand washing and tile jumping), I wouldn’t have thought of it. After doing my own intense research on the subject, a huge part of me and my life finally started making sense to me. Not much was known about ROCD at the time, but it kinda didn’t matter anyway. What mattered was the OCD part. The subject of the thoughts is entirely interchangable. It’s the chain of thoughts itself that has to be broken. Don’t focus on the relationship. Break the chain instead.

The internet also recommended exposure therapy but as therapy wasn’t an option at the time (weird German laws... regular health insurance covers only a limited amount of therapy lessons within a certain span of time and I had used mine up and there was no way I could pay myself), I decided to try it myself, the key points being:

* No more googling, no more reassurance. Learn to live with the uncertainty, learn to live with Not Knowing.

* Let the thoughts happen. Watch them pass by. They’re just thoughts, they can’t harm you. Don’t fight them, just recognize them and let them stay, they’ll get less scary over time.

* Focus on other things, as hard as it is. Try to occupy your mind and your body. Any minute you spend doing something else but brooding is a win.

It all sounded so very abstract at the time, but I was determined to give it a try. Oh gosh, was it hard. After months of emotional torment and getting used to unhealthy ways of coping, it was SO DAMN FUCKING HARD to NOT google. To NOT think. It felt like torment all over again. How was I supposed to just let the thought sit with me!? It was scary, I didn’t want it! Just ONE little peek, only a second, come ON! I won’t do it again after that?!

Oh god, it was the worst, it really was. Trying to break the chain while I was so desperate to save my relationship was terrible. I honestly don’t remember HOW I made it... but I made it. I somehow... clawed and bit my way out of it. I went right through the pain and made it. It’s not actually a linear process but there comes this point (and I know a few people I met on online platforms who would back me up on this) when you know the worst is over. You just know it. Things weren’t exactly good by the time the thoughts were history but I had reign over my own head again, I could actually SEE the world again, and that was worth everything plus my body weight in gold.

I’ll stop right here because the following months weren’t about my OCD anymore, but about figuring out needs, figuring out myself and what I wanted from life and this particular relationship and it’s not quite relevant and another story. (I DID love my ex-BF but it turned out he wasn’t at all good for me, I had ignored all the red flags for too long, and it didn’t take long after this for us to go separate ways)

I hated this particular time in my life while it lasted but I have learned and taken so much from it. It has changed my life in so many ways. I learned that things are never set in stone, not for anyone. That there will always be uncertain times on our ways. That change is always scary. That it’s okay to be scared. That staying in crappy situations for the sake of it isn’t always the right thing to do. Sometimes, doing the right thing (aka leaving a relationship that isn’t good for you) can make you sad. Love does not equal compatibility.

Looking back, I am - in a very bizarre and twisted way - grateful for the experience. It was an incredibly important lesson for me that taught me to be kinder to myself, to look out for myself and to listen to my own needs. That I should put myself first at times. For the first time of my life, I really got in touch with myself and my own emotions. I learned to understand them, I learned where they come from. I learned to cut myself slack at times.

The list goes on and on, but you get my drift. I know myself inside and out at this point. That wasn’t always the case. Not until 2016.

It still comes back at times. Not with such full force, but it keeps creeping back in, pretty much any time I have to deal with uncertainty in my life. Bad news at work, not hearing from a friend for a while that I’m dying to hear from (inevitably thinking that they MUST be mad at me) or when I spot a few symptoms of sickness that I’m not familiar with (I practically never get sick). Not Knowing What Will Happen drives me CRAZY. I hate uncertainty, I need my life to be stable and calm to fully function.

Now, in COVID times, it’s mostly the fear of suffering from an incurable disease. AGAIN. I’m familiar with that, too. I’m not even scared of catching the virus, I just fell right back into overthinking any symptom I have, even if it’s just a short pain in the neck or whatever (you know, things that one usually brushes off). When my life was busier, I was MUCH better at handling those thoughts. Most of the time, they didn’t even come up in first place. Sitting inside and avoiding contact 99,9% of all times, and having little to no actual distraction („reading/watching movies“ doesn’t help me personally, it does’t occupy my mind enough, I usually just stare right through the pages/screen), however, leaves FAR too much time for the thoughts to unfold, once they come up.

This subtle but lingering concern for my health puts my body into a permanent state of anxiety once more. Fight and Flight mode. The pace of my heartbeat is always slightly, but perpetually, increased. It isn’t always outright panic attacks, it’s this constant state of having to be… alert. Something MIGHT happen, y’know. Be prepared. Relaxing and doing nice things becomes almost impossible. Instead, I get tired and exhausted. Depressed, even. It sucks the joy right out of me. I feel like living under a glass dome. I see what’s happening around me but I am unable to connect, emotionally. People keep living their lives and I can watch them, but I can’t be a part of it. It’s a deeply crushing feeling. I manage to somehow function but I don’t really feel alive. My abandonment issues and fear of „getting left behind“ kicked in again, too. I want to catch up and take part but can’t so I stress myself over THAT, too. This only adds to the exhaustion and makes me feel even more isolated.

Hello, vicious circle, my old friend.

I didn’t even realize that I had such huge potential to fall right back into it. It all started… I dunno, by mid/end of January?? It’s a bit blurry this time. It is directly connected to Germany’s recent lockdown, though. A massive case of Not Knowing How Things Will Turn Out. I failed to take better care of myself in the past few weeks. And now I’m here. AGAIN. Ugh.

But well, as I said, it’s not as bad and, as I said, I have at least learned some important things over the years. In this particular case of intrusive thoughts, the first rule is: NEVER GOOGLE SYMPTOMS. And never google shit like „chances to survive (whatever illness think you have at the time)“, either. The mind longs for reassurance but googling symptoms is BAD, as we all know by now. It’s not even reassuring when you do it. Because you’ll inevitably end up diving through the vast internet for HOURS, picking up an entry that some person named Kevin made on a cancer forum way back in 2004, saying that his uncle died the next day after finding out he has cancer and that is, OF COURSE, what will happen to YOU, too. There is no other way. YOU WILL DIE.

Excuse the text walls. I took an opportunity to ramble about my own experience, for the first time ever since it happened (not including the few short talks I had with the few people I met on internet forums).

To anyone who made it this far: Thank you so much for reading. It sure felt good to write this down for once, even if it’s just a short summary (yes, really, I mean, we’re talking six-ish months here), and the descriptions fall woefully short. If anyone affected by the same happens to read this - I am so, SO sorry you are suffering so much. You are NOT alone and you are NOT weird. Talk to someone. Open up. To your doctor, or you therapist, if you have one. To a person you trust. It is the worst but there are ways, there is help. I wish I had known at the time it started for me.

You know now. :)

P.S.: DON’T FUCKING GOOGLE:

#ocd #rocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #relationship obsessive compulsive disorder #mental disorder #sanne rambles

25 notes · View notes

sebastiansmistress · 3 years

Text

꧁𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨꧂

NOTE: these are made up but are influenced by previous headcanons i’ve seen before.

these headcanons are mainly my ideas so if you post about them please be sure to tag me!

also, you can follow my tiktok. it’s the same user as this one!

be sure to tell me what you think and comment who else i should do ☺︎︎

—

how he asked you out:

akaashi asked you out while you were both at the library studying for an exam the next day. you were in your favourite sweats, crocs, your hair wasn’t done. to put it plainly, you weren’t dressed up in anyway shape or form. you were a stressed out mess; constantly procrastinating and complaining. he of course, went out of his way to assure you that you were doing fine but it wasn’t working. he couldn’t help himself but laugh at you which ticked you off slightly; only making him laugh more. in that moment, akaashi realised that you were the one for him.

when he finally brought himself to pop the question after hours of studying, your tone completely flipped. you were a flustered mess because you felt the same way. ‘akaashi! why would you ask me now? it’s supposed to be a special moment!’ which is when he replied ‘but this is special because i’m with you right now’. you appreciated the sentiment but you still detested the idea of him asking you at that moment.

he promised he’d make up for the fact that he asked you out at such an inconvenient time for you but he said that it felt right in the moment. but he was over the moon when you said yes

your first date:

akaashi made sure your first date was going to be one for the books because he wanted to make up for the library fiasco.

it was early september, nearing the end of summer and akaashi wanted to savour the last days of this season. he asked you out to a picnic date where you promised to supply a beverage of choice while he handled the food.

upon arrival, akaashi greeted you with a hug that was pure and innocent.

he was carrying a picnic basket which stood out to you. it was very plain yet it was laced with a sage green ribbon and had a lavender plant intertwined in the straw. it was definitely akaashi’s style.

when you asked him about the picnic basket, he said it was his grandmothers. he told you the story about how she used it when she went on dates with his late grandfather. it was supposedly tradition for them to go on dates and use that very basket. ‘that’s such a beautiful story akaashi. i’m so sorry for your loss..’ he replied with ‘don’t worry about it y/n. perhaps we can carry out their legacy and make it our very own tradition’ . the sentiment was very sweet making your heart thump. you also yearned for a romance like theirs.

you both settled down at a spot under a very large weeping willow tree, secluded from everyone else. you brought out a checkered baby pink picnic blanket and set everything down. akaashi opened up the basket and revealed its contents. he had specially prepared bento boxes for the two of you and even packed additional snacks. it was perfect. when you asked him if he’d made the boxes himself, he smuggly said ‘yes i did’ with a fat smirk plastered on that pretty face of his. in that moment akaashi unveiled his self-approving side. the bento was delicious but you were too stubborn to admit it.

when he asked where the drinks you chose were, you pulled them out of your bag rapidly. you decided that ramune sodas were the most fitting for the date so you brought a whole variety with you. the flavours ranged from melon, lychee, strawberry and grape. ‘pick which ones you want!’ akaashi picked two; lychee and strawberry. he was clearly a man of taste.

after you both finished eating, he pulled out a deck of cards. it was only fitting for you both to burn off those calories by playing a competitive game of uno. ultimately, it wasn’t a very good idea considering you both were merciless when it came to any form of competition. even still, you were no match for him. he was the undisputed king at the game. he happened to be effortlessly good at everything; including uno! ‘y/n, i’ve never met someone as bad as you before!’ he made multiple remarks about how your technique was flawed and how you just weren’t good at playing the game at all. ‘oh shut up keiji! you’re clearly cheating!!’

after multiple rounds of uno; which ended with akaashi’s winning streak of 7, he pulled out two small canvases, an old book and a water paint pallet along with some glue. akaashi never admitted it but he loved painting in his spare time, along with reading old novels. so he decided to mesh the two things he loved the most: ‘okay, this is some old rinsed out book i had lying around, how about we use it to make something beautiful?’ he proposed that you both make small paintings of your surroundings while including sappy quotes from the romance novel. in the end, you’d both exchange your works and cherish them as keepsakes in loving memory of your first date.

when it was nearing towards the end of the date, the sun began to set radiating soft hues of orange and pink across the skyline. the view was a sight for sore eyes and as you both sat their admiring the sky, you noticed akaashi looking over at you, staring at you contently. you didn’t want to say anything so you just pretended like you didn’t notice but in reality you could feel your cheeks go bright red. you looked over at him and he gave you a reassuring smile.

as you both packed up your belongings, you were hesitant to leave. you really enjoyed your date and akaashi noticed that you didn’t want it to end. so as a cute gesture, he carved out your initials on the tree with the fork he’d used earlier that day. ‘akaashi.. what are you doing?’ you looked over at him, tilting your head slightly at an angle. he looked back at you and gave you a soft smile ‘marking our territory. this is going to become our tradition remember?’

akaashi escorted you out of the park walking with you; side by side. you two were very close to each other, on the verge of coming in contact. you walked together in silence and admired the views. that’s when you slowly felt his fingers reaching out for yours. you gazed back at him in confusion. ‘c-can i hold your hand?’ his voice was light and tranquil yet it was clear to you that he was nervous. you nodded in response. akaashi took you by the hand and led the way; interlocking his fingers with yours delicately.

akaashi’s love language:

akaashi isn’t big on the eccentric things in life. he’s never been one for big parties or going out to densely populated places. he’s very reserved and prefers to spend his time with you alone. you could be doing anything together but as long as you are within reach, he’s more than happy. some of your best memories together are in your livingroom, cuddled up watching romance animes.

he doesn’t say i love you very often but he truly loves you with all his heart. a way he communicates this love for you is by recommending books for you. he’s been a bookworm his entire life and his favourite thing to do after reading novel is giving it to you to read. on numerous occasions, he’d give you a book just for you to finish it within a couple of days. nothing warms his heart more than hearing that you enjoyed the book. he loved discussing ideas and debating beliefs after finishing the books. sometimes you have conflicting ideas which really expands his mind in a way he never thought anyone could.

another way he loves to show you he cares his by hand crafting you care packages whenever you’re feeling under the weather (whether that’s monthly due to mestruation, or when you’re feeling sad). akaashi’s other guilty pleasure is arts and crafts and over the years he’s gotten especially good at it. so another way he loves showcasing his love for you is by making you a basket filled with goodies when you’re feeling sad. he’d hand deliver them to your door like a gentleman and sometimes leave cute notes with them too. (all those romance novels have gotten to him clearly)

favourite memory together:

his first time saying ‘i love you’ was when you were both babysitting. you were babysitting bokuto’s nephew who was practically a mini bokuto who’d just discovered the skill of walking. he was running around, constantly knocking things over. this mini bokuto was a falling hazard on his own but he was a ray of sunshine just like his uncle. due to his wild mannerisms, you both made sure to baby proof the whole area to ensure his safety.

you left him to watch cartoons and you went to tend to akaashi in the kitchen. he’d hidden while you were both preparing dinner. this left you both in a state of confusion and worry. you were sure you didn’t see him leave the livingroom.‘come on little guy! you can’t stay hiding for ever!’ you called out. you scanned the whole house in search for the little munchkin, but nothing.

that’s when akaashi went to the kitchen and returned with a bowl filled with small fish shaped crackers. ‘oh, i see how it is, i guess i’ll have these crackers all to myself!’ he called out. that’s when the little smurf emerged from behind the couch with a bright smile plastered on his face. ‘BOO!!’ he called out. ‘there you are! you little bedbug! you’re getting good at hide and seek aren’t you?!’ you bopped his nose delicately and he giggled. you were relieved to see him. akaashi reached out to him and sat him next to him, while he snacked on the crackers.

the three of you ate together, played games and watched some more cartoons. bokuto 2.0 was very fond of you and insisted you cradled him to sleep. at this point it was getting late and he would’ve been very tired after a day filled with festivities. you yourself were exhausted and found yourself deep asleep. akaashi had just finished cleaning up and walked in on you both asleep on the arm chair. he admired your willpower when handling him and he grabbed the boys little owl ‘blankie’ and placed it above you both; cocooning you both in the fabric. he planted a small kiss on your forehead and that’s when he said he loved you. he was so overwhelmed with emotion and his mind trailed off; thinking of you two of you in the future, having a family of your own.

i hope you guys enjoyed these headcanons, it’s currently 3:35am and for me it was worth staying up late :)

i’m all for doing a second part or starting a new character but please tell me what you guys think of them!

#anime #haikyuu #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi headcanons #akaashi keiji #hq akaashi #headcanons #romance #couples #y/n x haikyuu #anime aesthetic #sports anime

34 notes · View notes

justrandomselfships · 3 years

Text

Little steps- my self insert Fic (S/I POV) with a bunch of silly illustrations! Oh did I mention that this involves Kaeya? Well he's the main focus here even though Lisa is mentioned shit ton of times! Might write something for her focus too someday.

I finished it ages ago but I was afraid to post it- I'm not anymore and also✨ it's my birthday ✨

Ever since I joined the knights I decided to write in a diary, it helped me keep track of time. Lisa told me that it can help me in various ways, like for example remembering names of the other knights, or checking my personal progress. Now that I think about it, it was long since I checked my old entries. Nothing interesting happened today anyway so I might as well read some. I don't really remember anything that was going on when I started so I suppose I could refresh my memory.

Today Lisa wanted to introduce me to someone- she probably wanted to help me by looking for training partner for me, however I had to refuse. You probably remember why was that, I got scared of meeting someone new again. I couldn't get that mess on her shoulders when she has so much to do as it is! And there was no way I'd meet them alone it'd be too akward for both of us!

I remember the exact moment I tried to come up with an excuse for future me... It kinda made me giggle how stupid I am sometimes, but let's look at something else...

I've never felt as lonely as I do now, I don’t even know why. I don’t miss anyone nor I ever craved any interactions... But to make that feeling go away I thought about talking to Amber but when I left the house she was talking to Noelle and I got scared to approach them... Instead I decided to sketch something and stay inside for the rest of the day.

I immediately looked at my sketchbook, I don't even have to look inside, I was drawing what's outside my window like always. Maybe I'll find some better memory if I keep looking?

During my patrol I got a bit lost... It was scary... But I wasn't alone, an Adventurer found me... However he got lost too. It was a bit unlucky day since I picked the wrong maps, we also got attacked a few times by monsters. I kinda feel bad for him since he tried his best to cheer me up but I stayed silent. It should've been other way around a knight shouldn't le

Bennett! How could I forget his name when I was writing this? He was such a sweetheart I obviously had to mess it up and make him feel uncomfortable... But I did make up for it! Maybe I'll finally read something positive? I somehow can't remember how exactly that went... Or if I was daydreaming about apologizing?

I decided to bake something for Bennett as thank you and apology for acting so cold towards him. But I had no idea on how to find him... Or what to say... So after thinking for few minutes I decided to talk to Katherine and ask her to give it to him. After "talking" to her I locked myself in my room out of embarrassment, I messed up again. I just said "Bennett" placed my pastries and left. Now I probably won't be able to face her for at LEAST two months.

I cringe at the memory... Gosh now this will keep me up at night for sure... I finally forgot about it and now it'll haunt me.

Wait a second... Did I really not made any progress at all!? I was trying so hard to socialize with others and get out more but I seem to still not be able to do it right. No, it's impossible. I'm good friends with Lisa! So I definitely made any progress... Or is she just so easy to talk to? Time to take a final look at something recent for a change...

Capitan Kaeya Alberich wanted to talk to me outside work... It might not sound like a big deal but somehow I just froze... I wasn't able to respond properly and he probably guessed what I was going to say, not that he ever can't do that... I might be too predictable. Either way I feel bad, my behavior was really disrespectful and I knew better than that to just ignore someone like him. I still have much to learn and I'll need to properly apologize for staying silent.

I only ever failed... There is no mistaking it. Great way to note down progress huh? Too bad there is none.

Think, what do I need to do to finally do better? I am the problem for sure but what do I really need to change? Maybe I should just start observing how others act... After all I never bothered to do that. It might help in one way or another...

Obviously there's only one place where there is a lot of people and I won't look like a total creep if I'll just listen in the conversations and look at random people... It's no other than the tavern. I'm scared to go there alone... But I don't have to!

Lisa would be willing to go right?... Then again I rely on her a bit too much and going out like this could be an opportunity to break the ice with someone else...

Jean is always busy, Amber will be way too distracting and we might end up somewhere else, Eula is too scary, Venti... I don't even know why I'm considering him.

Maybe that offer from capitan Kaeya still stands? It's from bearly 2 weeks ago so maybe if I get lucky and he happens to still be interested, I can actually go...

What am I even thinking!? I didn't even apologize for the last time... But being around so many drunk people is terrifying... However I can't bet on the fact that he won't drink too much... On the other hand he seems to handle people and I'll definitely learn something.

Screw it. It might be scary but I need to do it. Tomorrow I'll ask him! That's for sure! He's the most respectable and trustworthy person who isn't always busy and will not distract me.

~⏳

I'm scared to do it but I have to! I need to... Did I really say that I'm gonna do it today? Or should I just pretend that I never thought of it. He's probably busy today. Yup definitely that no need to feel stressed.

I haven't seen him back at the headquarters nor did I see him around town when I was coming back from my patrol- that's a good sign. It's still pretty early but I don't think that I'll see him today... What a relief!

Before I left the headquarters after finishing some paperwork I hear a voice that belongs to a beautiful librarian I am lucky to be able to call a friend.

"Hey there cutie, are you okay?"

"Just a little bit nervous that's all, nothing new haha"

"Do you need me to pass a message again?"

"No need! It's something I need to say myself..."

"I see..."

"But if you happen to see capitan Kaeya it would be nice if you could tell him that I was looking for him" out of habit I grab my hair and begin to play with it. Lisa's warm soothing voice blessed my ears as she said "No worries darling, I'll let him know" before she left and giggled to herself...

Wait... Oh no.

Why did I say anything!? Is she that magical that I can't say anything but what's on my mind.

If she happens to meet him my request will be unavoidable! Even if I tried thinking of something else Kaeya will know that I'm lying. I can't avoid him either... Can't waste his precious time...

How do I even ask him!? Do I need to change from my work clothes before I go? What should I do...

I didn't realize that I started walking in circles before someone approached me.

"Heather?"

I turn around and see the man I was thinking about all day. Dammit... I have to say it. I can't think of an excuse and staying silent is now unacceptable.

"Oh-uhm... Greetings Capitan Kaeya"

"Lisa informed me that you were looking for me"

"Oh right!... That... Haha..."

"I don't want to rush you, however I do have some business to attend to"

"I'm so sorry! I mean- since you're busy then my silly request is irrelevant"

"Come now, I believe that I should be the judge of that" his smug look made it ever so slightly more challenging to say anything.

"I just... Ugh..." I took a deep breath "Look as you know I was trying to loosen up recently and well I realized that I wasn't making any progress at all. So I remembered that one time you asked me to go to the tavern with you and I refused... I mean ignored you, which I am VERY sorry about but now I think that it was a mistake and today I wanted to ask you to accompany me but since you're busy let's just forget about everything" I felt relieved getting that off my chest.

"I don't think that will do, in fact I was heading towards the tavern so if you really want to I suppose you can join me" Oh right... I forgot about him gathering some information there from time to time. So it might work after all! He won't pay too much attention to me and I could investigate without tons of distractions.

"Let's get going then capitan" I say before he smiles softly in response "Wait do you want to get going now or-"

"Yes" he cut me off, which was fair and I'm glad he did it before I said something dumb.

We're almost there. Before we get closer I suddenly stop.

"That reminds me!" I realized I spoke out loud, as he looked at my direction my confidence dropped dead "I've never actually tried any alcohol so would you be so kind to recommend something for me? I figured that since I'm already getting out of my comfort zone might as well try something new" I said under my breath but he definitely understood what I meant judging by his facial expression and well... response.

"Absolutely" my heart skipped a beat. I desperately tried to start a conversation topic... But choosing alcohol might be something I'll regret...

Kaeya started listing few drinks I could enjoy his words were poetic as he described the beverages, however the names of the drinks went over my head. It wasn't that bad but I just felt stupid over how clueless I was. He definitely knew what he was talking about and I'm more than interested in hearing more. The more he talks the less likely I am to say something I'll regret.

"Obviously since I don't know how much you can handle I won't be forcing you to try too much too soon" he paused "Your father probably wouldn't be happy either if you returned drunk" he said teasingly. It invited me to respond less seriously.

"Oh no! This means that we'll have to do it again, how awful"

"We didn't enter yet so you can feel free to leave now before you regret spending time with me of all people" his voice was now suddenly much more hostile... Did I mess it up!?

He laughed softly "I'm sorry did I go too far? While I don't want to force you to do anything, I won't lie... I'm a bit curious to learn something new about you tonight"

We were still outside standing right in front of the entrance to the tavern if not for chatting we could hear from the inside there would be total silence.

"I'm sorry for being quiet again! It's just that you caught me off guard haha" I look away "There isn't much to know about me so I feel like I'll only disappoint you"

"I'm not so sure about that part"

"Wait... Did my father tell you anything about me!?"

"Look let's just get inside, We'll discuss it later"

Nervously I followed him yet again. The atmosphere was warm and I could see different kinds of people all over the place. We sit down.

"So did he tell you anything?" I ask immediately.

"Relax, he didn't" he seemed amused by my desperation to know. It's understandable... And I'm probably overreacting anyway. I collect my thoughts "I'm sorry"

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm just making this into some big deal for no reason. Maybe the reason is the huge amount of respect I have for you that makes me freak out"

"I see, well I don't see the reason to be so formal now. We aren't working after all" his soft smile was enough for me to calm down.

"Thank you" Maybe it was all I needed to hear, after that everything went smoothly.

I start feeling proud of myself... Maybe I can change after all? Either way it only shows that I have to write it down! And once I was back home I did just that.

Today I had enough courage to take a step in right direction! I went to a tavern with capitan Kaeya. It was fun and for the first time in years I wasn't that scared. It wasn't totally perfect but it was definitely worth it.

#❄️ frozen in tide 🌊#selfship #self insert #oc x cannon #self ship #my self insert #self shipping #my f/o #kinda self ship related #my self ship #kaeya x oc

4 notes · View notes

reeesea · 4 years

Text

Something Sweet: Part One

~the sweetest drink on the menu~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: just minsung, han jisung/lee minho

warnings: mild language (like barely)

words: 3.5k (2k too many ngl)

summary: Minho is working his usual shift at Seoul's most expensive high end restaurant, when a trio of new-comers arrive and by the end of Minho’s tedious night he’s plus one additional phone number.

a/n: To be honest this is the first thing I’ve ever written and actually posted. SO please accept this minsung one-shot that just came out of wanting more waiter Minho in my life. anyway if you read it and like it let me know, and maybe ill write more of it. In my head it has at least a few more chapters of non-plot where the other boys show up <3

---------------------

It had only been an hour since the dinner rush started and Minho was already counting the minutes until he could collect his tips and go home. Sure, he could think of countless more exhausting jobs compared to being a waiter at Menu 98 (an upscale restaurant in a part of town he most definitely did not live in), but today just hit different. He never had to do much more than just put on his Customer Server Smile ™, not mess up the orders, pour the wine without spilling, and recommend the highest priced appetizer if asked. Pretty simple stuff. Nothing too draining, but still the exhaustion set in, probably due to spending 2 more hours in the dance studio than he should’ve the previous day.

His feet were paying for those additional long hours trying to perfect choreo by making each minute of his shift more painful than the last. Even so, working at the ever popular restaurant paid for the daily discomfort that Minho may have felt from his blistered feet. The restaurant was a well known hot spot for anyone with enough money to casually spend the equivalent of three of Minho's paychecks on a meal. CEOs and their business partners along with idols and some lesser known celebrities made up most of their usual clientele on a casual Friday night like this one. The customers always came in waves on Friday evenings, parties of usually 4 or more coming in to celebrate some successful business venture that took place during the week. Great for Minho really, because that meant usually more wine, more appetizers, larger meals, and larger checks, which means bigger tips. His bank account really needed these Fridays especially if he was gong to keep saving up to finally pursue his dream.

A new party of six was just assigned to Minho’s section. Trademarked smile: on, Feet: still aching, Hours until close: at least another three. It looked like tonight it was going to be a long ass night.

An hour or so passed before Minho was able to get some form of rest from being out on the floor. Minho leaned his body weight against the wall near the back of the dining room, appreciating the brief calm before the night crowd started to roll in. Thoughts of the dance he was trying to choreograph flashed through his head. He hoped that the movements he’d chosen would be able to convey the emotions of the song he had in mind. The thought of asking Hyunjin to watch his performance briefly popped in his head, but before he could consider it further the hostess was calling his name.

“Minho! There's a new table for you in section three.” Minho moved from his comfortable position against the wall and went through his checklist; Apron? Flattened. Backup pens? Check. Hair gently moved out of his face to perfectly frame it? Check. Lastly, Polite customer service smile? Obviously.

The three boys at the table were definitely new customers to the restaurant. Minho observed that the three of them appeared to be blissfully unaware of the de facto business casual to fully formal dress code that the other patrons in the restaurant followed. The Trio seemed to sport the street style that you would see in the popular clubs not only a block away. Two of them clothed in almost all black outfits while the third wore a bright pink colored hoodie under his jean jacket.

“Hyung, I still can’t believe we did it! The crowd was huge, I mean after going on stage I don't even remember anything. I might have blacked out. Holy shit did I actually black out….” Pink hoodie seemed pretty animated about whatever the reason was for their meal out. Maybe a little too animated, as other tables glazed bitterly toward the source of their evening’s disruption.

Before approaching he considered the possibility that these boys being idols was likely, but Minho still found it odd for multiple reasons. He didn't recognize them at all as idols, which he was usually pretty good at keeping up with, and when idols did casually come in it was more likely to be on a weekday for an early dinner and not a late Friday night after the dinner rush. Nonetheless, with his perfect waiter image on, he walks over to the table never showing his curiosity.

“Good evening gentlemen, My name is Minho, and I’ll be serving you tonight. Is there anything I can get you to drink before your starters?” His script rolled politely off his tongue like it had the whole night. All complete with a slight smile and arms perfectly placed behind him, as carefully and as naturally as a doll whose been posed in the same position for the past six hours.

The wide set, somewhat brooding boy has already decided after glancing at the drink menu, “yeah I'll order a bottle of the house red for the table,” glancing up at Minho from beneath his black cap. Minho swiftly wrote down the order, and moved his glance over to the next boy at the table.

“Hyung, you're the only one of us who chooses to drink wine voluntarily,” Pink hoodie spoke up, seemingly upset about the prospect of drinking bitter fruit water.

“Jisung, you're just saying that because you can't handle anything that you can actually taste the alcohol in. I'll drink whatever Bin gets,” the handsome curly haired blonde mentions, glancing at the soft hoodied boy next to him with a look that reminds Minho of a disappointed father. Minho actively fights off the smirk that is wanting to form on his lips.

“WHAT that's not true, THAT ONE TIME I drank an entire bottle of-”

“Fine, fine just stop yelling. You’re gonna get us kicked out before we even get to eat” Mr. Black cap glances up at Minho again, but with a more apologetic look. “Add on an order of the fruitiest and sweetest drink you serve still with alcohol in it, for the small squirrel boy.” That last part came with a smirk from the dark haired speaker and a glare from from the ‘squirrel boy’ to his left.

Minho had trouble keeping the smirk from forming this time. And maybe his perfect image faltered for a second, but he was quick to recover, and confirmed their orders with a straight face and a promise to return with water as he left to give them time to select from the menu.

---

“Great now our waiter thinks I'm a whiny baby who looks like a squirrel. Wow, thanks Changbin-hyung.” Jisung grumbles and pinches his cheeks that cursed him with the rodent nickname.

“Good, at least he won’t be fooled into thinking you're anything but the truth”

“Yah! WHa-”

“Hey settle down you guys, lets try not to get kicked out please. Binnie recommended the food here, and I would very much like to eat it before we are politely asked to leave”

Jisung grumbles something inaudible at Chan’s request, and Changbin can't help but respond with a smirk at getting to see the younger be told off.

“Also we're supposed to be celebrating selling out our show so lets do that, yeah? First show 3racha single handedly sold out! WE did that!”

All three of them get proud smiles after that, and the bickering is left forgotten as the three recount the night, even though they had lived it together

“Not gonna lie, I think our Binnie stole the show tonight. You were on fire tonight man.” Chan said proudly, receiving a thankful smile from the younger boy, who had become shy and bashful at the praise.

“Though, Chan-hyung your rap was so charismatic tonight, you almost made that girl in front faint when you winked at her, the whole audience fucking lost it” Jisung had switched from literally yelling to just a whisper shout for emphasis.

“Hahaha, yeah I can't even believe that happened. Man, today’s energy was just different.” The smile on Chan’s face was blinding, as usual. “Hopefully we can get to play even bigger venues soon. I could get used to this...” Chan mused, seemingly already focused on the future plans of 3racha.

“Yeah, those paydays would be real nice right about now.”

“Bin-hyung, what are you talking about, you’re literally loaded. Plus since you got that producing job, we can actually pay the rent on the apartment you parents let us stay in '' Jisungs pretty thankful for all the support Changbins parents had given them, while the three of them worked toward their collective dream to make and perform music. But he thinks they all can agree that finally being able to use their own money to live instead of just relying on handouts and the kindness of friends or family to help keep them from becoming starved or homeless, is a new kind of satisfying that Jisung hadn’t considered before. Just look at them now, at one of the nicest (and most expensive) restaurants in Seoul, fighting over drinks and having a meal that would hopefully be the first of many celebrations for their groups accomplishments. The trio could all agree that the financial stress has been one of their greatest worries, and that beginning to escape it has been all kinds of relieving.

Before any of the boys could respond to Jisung’s comment, Minho had returned with three glasses of water, three glasses for wine, and a bottle of wine all balanced perfectly on a tray perched on the palm of his hand. Jisung had to admit it was impressive how he had managed to balance all of the glassware and liquids without losing balance, and while moving with more grace and agility than he would expect from your average waiter.

Before Jisung had even returned from his thoughts, three glasses of water and the expertly poured wine glasses, all set delicately without a single drop spilled, were identically placed in front of each of them. Graceful may have been an understatement.

“Have you decided what you would like to have tonight, gentlemen?” Their waiter Minho said, all with a gentle expression on his face.

No, the answer was no, but before Jisung could respond, Changbin had already ordered the pricey steak to go with his wine. Soon after, Chan ordered the surf and turf dish that had a stupidly complicated name that Jisung couldn’t pronounce. Jisung hadn’t even remembered them even looking at the menu, or maybe it was just him who had yet to even glanced at it. Details.

“Uhhhhh…” Jisung searched hopelessly over the menu and then at his friends, who stared blankly back at him, then back to the menu again. This was a regular occurrence when the three decided to go out and eat, when they weren’t holding themselves in their apartment for weeks at a time. Still, Jisung always ended up hopelessly unprepared to successfully order without awkward pauses and at least three consecutive strings of ‘hmm’s and ‘uhhh’s. And so,

“Hmmmmm…. I think.. Uhh…. maybe…” nothing was popping out at him, and Jisung was pretty sure at this point that he had forgotten how to read. “Ya know what, surprise me,” he decided this was the best response he could come up with.

“Surprise you?” Minho looked just as confused as Jisung felt.

“Yeah, is that an option? If not, I'm this close to just closing my eyes and pointing.” He says while dramatically closing his eyes and waving his finger over the menu. Once again Jisung was hopeless.

He hears a soft chuckle and opens his eyes just in time to catch their waiter’s lips curl in a sweet smile that makes his eyes turn into crescents. It lasts barely a second, before his face returns to his neutral customer service expression. But Jisung decides he really likes that smile, and a part of him is sad to see it retreat so soon.

“Well in that case, I can do the blind pointing for you, but I personally recommend the seasonally prepared local beef served on house baked brioche, that comes with garlic and parsley potato wedges. Does that sound alright?” Jisung felt he had said it faster and with more details just to confuse him.

Jisung stares at him blankly in response, and he's pretty sure four whole seconds pass in silence before the Pretty Waiter ™ follows up, an ever so slight smirk on his lips, “it's pretty much a really good local burger with homemade fries, I think it would be something you would enjoy.”

Jisung grins at that, “Oh! Yeah that does sound good...Thank you! I will have that.” For some reason he really likes the idea that their waiter chose something off the menu that was specially meant for him. Not that he wouldn't like all the nicer and fancier dishes they serve here with small plates with dry ice fog, but a part of him was more content in getting a dinner that didn't require him to question whether or not something on his plate was even edible. And the happy curiosity definitely had nothing to do with the way their waiter’s eyes sparkled when he talked or the barely-there smirk that Jisung just caught sight of.

“Alright then, I’ll put in these orders. Oh! And then I'll be right back with your speciality fruit drink,” He says that last part with a slightly more upbeat tone, resulting in another smirk to appear on Changbin’s face and a groan from a slightly embarrassed Jisung.

---

Minho surprised himself.

On any given day of work at Menu 98, he deathly avoids having to do anything more than the regular polite small talk. But for some reason, tonight he couldn’t stop himself from playing along with the antics of the cute boy at his table. The three boys were entertaining, and maybe he could blame the exhaustion and the numb pain in his heels, but the comical distraction was welcomed by Minho. He didn't even realize just how much he had been looking for a distraction from the long shift until it was staring right at him with big shiny eyes and a cute round face. Minho hurried back to enter in their orders, including his suggestion for the squirrel looking boy.

Minho wasn’t going to deny that the flustered boy at the table was cute, he was pretty aware how attractive all three the boys were when he took their orders. He had thought they were idols originally, so in Minho’s mind it made sense. Still, the waiter still felt something about the three was too unique to be categorized as just idols or trainees. As much as it may have piqued his curiosity though, Minho still got paid for his service not for his interests in customers, so he brushed it off almost as soon as it appeared.

The rest of the evening, Minho tended to all four of his assigned tables with his usual perfect server act and minimal small talk. When it came to the three somewhat boisterous customers in the corner table, Minho may or may not have allowed himself to subtly laugh at their arguments and antics. The dynamic of the three boys was slowly becoming the highlight of his late night shift. Each of their personalities greatly contrasted and amplified the other, making way for animated and comical exchanges and arguments between them.

When Minho had returned with a Strawberry daiquiri for the boy in pink, a chorus of giggles could be heard from the other two boys, while the other happily accepted the drink in substitute for the untouched glass of wine in front of him. Upon drinking it, the cute boy's eyes somehow widened further and shined more than Minho thought was possible. He flashed his heart-shaped smile as he thanked Minho for the drink.

Minho nodded in return, and internally decided that Heart-shaped smiles were his new favorite.

---

Jisung had been hyper since the show, and the energy was now focused on a new mission to see the pretty smile of their waiter again. Granted, he didn't have to try that much harder to gain the attention of the pretty waiter, being the loud and excitable person naturally he was. Every small grin that Jisung was able to pull out from under the other boy’s infuriatingly polite facade, was a major win in his book.

Chan, Changbin, and Jisung celebrated further by enjoying the food, which was all phenomenal, and discussing their next gig the coming week. The best way to celebrate one performance is to look towards the next, or someother random bullshit Changbin had said after a couple more glasses of wine.

Overall the night was a celebration of all of the dedication and hours they had put into their music, as well as their grind to perform and grow a somewhat sizable following. They were all high on the potential of finally getting to realize their dreams and reach their goals as a group, something none of them actually thought they would get to do together. The overwhelming happiness of the night easily made it one of Jisung's new favorite memories.

As the boys were finishing off their third--or forth--drink (Jisung definitely had another one of the strawberry drinks Minho had brought him), after dinner and figuring out their checks, Jisung felt a surge of boldness. Mostly due to having a few drinks in his system, and the slight infatuation he had with the pretty waiter's smile, Jisung decided ‘whats the worst thing that could happen? Rejection? lmao’ and wrote down his name and number on his receipt in hopes that Minho would actually read it, or maybe even contact him. Maybe.

It was a shot in the dark, but Jisung had been feeling a little high on life, and felt like he couldn’t leave without at least shooting his shot. Jisung and the other members of 3racha got up to leave, and Jisung searched out the waiter. He wasn’t able to see him in the mostly empty dining room now, but a hopeful part of him felt that he would see him again, leaving the restaurant with his arms around his members already bickering about who would get to shower first after their long night.

“I'm just saying, Chan-hyung I know for a fact that you’re not even going to make it to the front door before passing out, so I call dibs. And Jisung, I’m older than you so I get veto power over your rights and decisions as your hyung.”

Jisung was about to grumble in response but something about how Changbin’s smile was so carefree left him feeling like he deserved this victory. Changbin was definitely a little tipsy, but seeing his hyung so happy after such a rough week made Jisung glad to do anything to keep that smile there.

“Fine, fine hyung but you have to help me carry Chan-hyung up stairs when he inevitable falls asleep on me in the cab”

“I don't know what youre talking about,” Chan replies, already yawning, while climbing into the cab.

---

Minho was picking up the receipts from his tables when one of them caught his eye.

Hey, I’m Han Jisung ^~^ (the cute one in the pink hoodie!)

Thanks for your suggestions, best waiter ever!!!

I think your smile is beautiful, Maybe I’ll get to see it again sometime?

555-XXX-XXXX

Minho couldn't help but smile to himself. He’d been hit on occasionally by customers and has been given countless numbers, which usually don't make it much farther than the trash, but something about the innocence of the note and cuteness of the boy made him actually consider keeping it.

He scoffed to himself after a second of considering it. As cute as the boy was, and as sweet as the note was, Minho didn’t have time or energy to have another added person in his life. No matter romantically or platonically, new relationships were on his ‘things to stay away from if you ever wanna make it into the dance academy’ list. He already barely ever saw his roommates, and if they weren't all in the same dance troupe, they probably wouldn't talk much. All of their time was spent working and practicing, and he and his roommates only had enough energy and free time to spend a meal or two together on the weekends. There just wasn’t any more time for anything extra, no matter how nice the idea may sound.

He was about to give the little message the same treatment as the others as he cleaned up for the night, but a part of him couldn't bring himself to throw it away, and discreetly pocketed it instead out of instinct. Out of sight and out of mind as far as Minho was concerned.

-----

thank you if you read this far <3

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

#stray kids #skz #minsung #stray kids fic #skz fic #han jisung #lee minho #lee know #I love my sons #gods menu #restaurant au

48 notes · View notes

sakuwriteshere · 4 years

Text

One-shot: Re-Enchanted

Summary: After a hunt that didn’t end as good as she wanted, Y/N spends a movie night with her friend, Gabriel. The Archangel has an idea to cheer her up and maybe push Dean and Y/N to realize their feelings. But nothing goes as it was supposed to be.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Other characters: Sam WInchester, Gabriel

Words count: 8656 words

Warnings: Reader feeling down, FLUFF, cursed words (one or two I think?), did I say FLUFF?, mutual pining, FLUUUFFF

Beta-reader: @ireblogcauseiappreciateyou Thank you so much 💖You’re the best!

A/N: Originally written for @alleiradayne‘s 2020 Supernatural Summer Shut-in Challenge but I thought it didn’t really fit the genre and the prompt so I didn’t use it as an entry. However, I really liked the story and I wanted to write something about the movie Enchanted so I thought it could be great to post it anyway.

You don’t need to have watched the movie Enchanted, but it’s highly recommended! There’s a lot of references. Also it’s very cheesy and I apologize for it ^^”

Enjoy and feel free to reblog and/or comment ;)

Main Masterlist

___________________________

Re-Enchanted

After several months of running all over the country, jumping from one case to another, you could finally spend a lazy night in the bunker. No demons, no monsters, no witches to hunt. Just you, a big bowl of popcorn, and a TV. You loved Dean for choosing such a huge screen.

“Hi there, Sugar!” Gabriel jumped into the couch, right next to you, bumping you slightly in the process, making you grunt at the sudden weight against you. The archangel simply ignores you as he plunges his hand into the popcorn, stuffing his mouth with the sweets.

“Long time no see, Gabe. How have you been?” You asked as you shift more comfortably into the couch.

“Same old, same old,” Gabriel waved his hand before he let his arm fall over your shoulders, pulling your body into his. You moved again, your head resting against his shoulder, leaning on Gabriel a bit more as you tucked your legs underneath you.

You let out a content sight, feeling carefree for the first time since a long time. Gabriel was one of your best friends, he spent his time with you whenever he could, which was a lot if you were honest, and you wouldn’t complain about it. The archangel was someone very funny and nice, and it was a pleasure to be near him. You loved his humor and his little pranks, especially when you weren’t on the receiving end.

The both of you fell silent as your attention fell back onto the movie. Once in a while, Dean would let you use his Dean cave and you had to admit the man outdid himself with the room. Everything you would need to spend the perfect movie night was here. Well, almost everything.

You loved Gabriel to death, really. But there was someone else you were closer to, and you smiled fondly when you thought about what he would say about your movie choices.

“Oh man, come on! You’re watching that chick-flick? Again?” Dean asked as he entered the room. Not you nor Gabriel moved, your eyes still focused on the screen.

“Patrick Dempsey.” Gabriel and you said at the same time, like it was the only natural explanation.

You didn’t see Dean rolling his eyes at your comment, as you were too focused on the screen. You watched Gisele landing in the middle of Manhattan while you put some caramelized popcorn in your mouth, the sweet treat melting on your tongue.

This movie was your guilty pleasure and you weren’t shy of showing it. Yes, you were a hunter. Yes, you were a badass. Yes, you knew the horrible truth, monsters existed in this world, killing innocent people and turning their insignificant and boring lives into nightmares. That was exactly why you needed your chick-flick moments. You were a hunter but you were also a human being before everything. Since you were a kid, you loved fairy tales and happy endings. You knew you would never have a happy ending with this life but it didn’t hurt to still hope and dream about it.

Dean’s groans broke your concentration and you spared him an angry glance, sticking out your tongue at him before you turned back into your movie.

“You’re one to speak, Dean-o,” Gabriel smirked at Dean. “We all know you have a soft spot for handsome doctors.”

Dean scoffed at Gabriel’s words, shifting from one foot to the other, crossing and uncrossing his arms, not really knowing what to do with his body.

“This guy is not, Dr. Sexy!” Dean stressed the words, pointing at the screen when Patrick Dempsey appeared on the screen. “They are totally different characters,” Dean added firmly. His favorite TV show has nothing in common with the other supposed medical drama show Patrick Dempsey was in.

“Hush you two. It’s the interesting part,” You say to the two men, adjusting your head on Gabriel’s shoulder.

You saw Dean’s body coming into your peripheral vision, as the man was looking for something. You ignored his presence as you concentrated on your movie, you let out a happy sigh as Gabriel started to thread his fingers in your hair. This was a perfect night: best movie, best candies, bestie at your side. You were totally oblivious of what was going on around you.

***

Gabriel wasn’t really watching the movie, he knew it by heart, for having watched it so many times. No, something more funny and interesting was going on in the room. He glanced secretly at Dean who suddenly stopped in his quest of whatever he was looking for when he heard your sigh.

The hunter looked at you and Gabriel, not so discreetly, his jaw clenching when he saw the intimate gestures the archangel was giving you. It was totally friendly but Dean didn’t know that.

An amused smile stretched Gabriel’s lips and he quickly hid it behind your head as he kissed it, his thumb brushing your cheekbone. It wasn’t rare for Gabriel to be so touchy with you, the archangel loved cuddles and it didn’t take him too long to know you craved it too. It was totally platonic, the both of you knew it.

But Dean didn’t.

And Gabriel was enjoying every second of this sweet torture. He loved how Dean’s fists clenched and unclenched at his sides, how his eyes darkened as his gaze zoomed on the spot where Gabriel’s lips rested on your head, how his body was slightly trembling with jealousy or how tight his lips were sealed to prevent himself from saying something.

“Need something?” Gabriel asked casually.

Dean jumped slightly at his question, unaware that he was staring at the both of you. He licked his lips and searched around him, grabbing the nearest thing: a pair of earphones. He waved the thing, as a way to tell Gabriel he had found what he was looking for, then left the room in a hurry.

A cheshire cat’s smile appeared on Gabriel’s lips while you remained totally oblivious, you were too deeply focused on your movie to notice anything.

Interesting.

***

You woke up feeling dizzy and your head hurting as if a herd of elephants had stepped on it the whole night. Carefully you opened your eyes, squeezing them shut quickly as the bright light assaulted you. You blinked a few times before you opened them once and for good. The first thing that hit you was that you didn’t recognize where you were. The last thing you remembered was spending the night with Gabriel. You don’t even remember falling asleep.

“Are you alright?” You heard a strange, chipmunk voice asking you.

That’s when your fuzzy brain registered something you haven’t noticed yet. As you looked around the room, searching for the owner of the voice, you felt that something was wrong. The place and the furniture around you didn’t look like what you were used to. Everything was so colorful and...cartoonish?

“Someone dreamed of her prince, right?” The chipmunk voice giggled and that’s when your eyes fell on the little squirrel standing at your feet.

Your eyes widened, your mouth slack opened as you saw the tiny creature climbing along your legs, finally sitting on your lap, big, brown eyes staring at you.

You jumped from the bed you were sitting on and ran towards the nearest mirror, not believing your own eyes. Your cartoonish reflection looking back at you.

“What the hell?!” You asked your own reflection, your fingers pressed against your face.

***

It took you a bit of time to comprehend what was going on. Apparently you were right in the middle of your favorite movie and for whatever reason, you were the main character, Gisele. Except that the cartoonish characters around you knew your real name, and this little detail didn’t seem to bother them. You stood in the middle of the room, totally speechless as you watched the many (too many) cartoonish forest animals dancing and singing around you. If they wanted you to sing along, it would be over your dead body!

Despite your refusal to play along, the movie kept on going and soon, too soon, the deers and birds looked at something behind you, stuttering and suddenly afraid. Uh-oh...

Being chased by a giant troll isn’t something funny. Within your career as a hunter you’ve seen a lot of weird things, but this had to top everything else.

“Get the hell out of here!” You yelled at the monster who was crawling on the same tree branch you were currently using as a safe space.

And just like in the movie that you knew by heart, the weight of the little chipmunk sent the troll far, far away and leaving you alone holding onto the frail branch as if your life depended on it. There was no way, the tiny creature could save you, you knew what was going to happen next. You closed your eyes and reluctantly let go of the branch, feeling your body falling quickly and heavily. You screamed through the fall because let’s be honest it was scary and the branches that hit you in your fall weren’t leaving a nice feeling to your body. Finally, you landed on something soft and warm, and felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around you.

“Oh my gosh…” You sighed, feeling relieved to still be alive, being an immortal cartoon character had its perks. You lifted your eyes slowly, ready to see Prince Edward from Andalasia for the very first time, and more particularly the one who played the character.

“Sam?” You said, totally bewildered as you were expecting James Marsden instead.

But Sam Winchester, your friend and hunting partner, was the one wearing the burgundy outfit instead. He was a cartoon as well but you could recognize his face easily.

“Yes, it’s me! And you are?” Sam asked you, a strange look written all over his face as if it was the first time he saw you.

“Y/N. Come on this isn’t funny. I don’t know what’s going on but we need to do something.” You said, as you tried to climb down from the horse you fell onto but Sam held you tight, keeping you in place.

“Oooh Y/N! You’re right. We shall be married in the morning!” As if his sudden (and not romantic at all) wedding proposal wasn’t surprising you enough, you fell speechless when you heard him starting to sing.

“You were made…” Sam sang, expecting you to finish the song.

“I’m not singing.” You said plainly, pushing against his chest to free yourself.

Everything froze around you, as if the time had stopped. You looked around and quickly your eyes fell onto the only thing that was still moving.

“Gabriel.” You should have known it was because of him. Who else would have enough power to create all of this?

“Come on, Sugar. Sing along!” The archangel said with energy, coming closer to you and holding out his hand to help you get down from the horse.

“What does all of this mean?” You asked, feeling furious and you weren’t going to let his funny cartoonish look disturb you.

“Consider it as a well-needed break.” Gabriel started to explain. “Don’t be mad. I know you’re feeling down lately-”

“Of course I’m feeling down, we lost an innocent on our last hunt.” You reminded him, you had explained everything the night before. “The guy is dead because of me.”

It was Gabriel’s turn to stop you. “That is not your fault. Those things happen.”

You rolled your eyes at that and crossed your arms upon your chest, showing Gabriel your back. You were going to give him the silent treatment, and you were not in the mood to play in his stupid pranks.

“It’s just a dream, I swear. I wanted to do something nice for you, that’s all.”

“Really?” You turned around, hearing the defeat in his tone. Your arms fell at your sides as you relaxed a bit.

“Well,” You didn’t need to look at him to know there was a mischievous smile curling his lips. Gabriel’s arms wrapped around your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Just play along, enjoy it while you can and once you wanna get out of it, all you have to do is to realize what you truly want,” he told you, not even an ounce of wickedness in his voice. He was genuinely worried about you and wanted only your well-being.

“What I truly want?” You parrotted as you broke the embrace, feeling something fishy behind those words.

The Archangel wiggled his eyebrows before disappearing. You called his name several times but he was already gone and you could only count on yourself to get out of here.

“Great…” Was the last thing you had time to say before everything turned black.

And the story started all over again.

And again and again.

After the fifth time, you realized that if you wanted to reach the end of the movie, or this dream or whatever it was, you had to play along just like what Gabe said. Well, you better start doing it, the faster you would reach the end, the faster you would wake up. After all, it was just a dream, nothing could go wrong right? And the fact that Patrick Dempsey was waiting for you was another good reason to keep moving.

***

“So, get this,” Sam entered the library, throwing a newspaper into Dean’s lap.

“Come on man! We’ve just got back, can’t we have a little break?” Dean groaned but picked up the newspaper anyway.

“It’s not that far and there’s already three vics. Looks like a simple salt and burn, it would only take us one day, two at tops.”

Dean kept on reading the article, nodding absentmindedly at his little brother’s words. Sam was right, the three vics were from the same family and each of them died in the same house within weird circumstances. And after the last hunt, Dean knew an easy win was what you needed to cheer you up. With one look, Dean knew that was also the main reason for Sam to go.

Dean slapped his thighs as he stood up. “Alright! Get ready, we’re leaving in ten.”

Sam nodded and headed for his room to get ready, though Dean stopped him in his tracks when he asked him to go and tell you they were leaving.

“She’s still in her room?” Sam asked, a bit surprised when he checked the time. It was already one in the afternoon and now that he thought about it, he hasn't seen you since the night before. There was only one reason for you to stay inside your room for so long. You were more depressed than what Sam thought.

The soft and gentle knock on your door didn’t get any response from you, so Sam knocked again, a bit more firmly. When he still got no answer from you, Sam brought his face closer to the door.

“Y/N? Uh...we found a case. A simple salt and burn case so don’t pack too heavy, ok? We’re leaving in ten,” Sam told you from his side of the door. He turned around, already thinking about what he needed to pack but after a second he glanced at your door again. You still haven’t answered him.

Sam knocked again. “Y/N? You’re awake?” His hand was already turning the doorknob. The door opened a crack, leaving enough room for Sam to take a look inside.

“Y/N?” Sam opened the door completely and entered your room. He came closer to your bed when he spotted you still soundly asleep.

Gently he shook your shoulder, hopeful that the movement would be enough to stir you awake.

“Come on, this is not funny.” Sam tried to chuckle but something deep down his stomach told him you weren’t faking it. “Dean!”

It didn’t take long for Dean to come in. The urgency in his brother’s voice was enough of a warning and when he realized that Sam was in your room, Dean feared the worst. They had tried everything to wake you up but failed miserably. Your chest was moving up and down which meant you were asleep, and more importantly still alive. There was no trace of pain on your face, on the contrary, a small smile adorned your peaceful face.

“What’s going on?” Dean walked back and forth in front of your bed while Sam kept staring at you, thinking deeply.

“Do you think it’s a curse?” Sam offered but both brothers were quick to ditch the possibility, it’s been a few months since your last encounter with a witch.

“I don’t know. A demon maybe?” Dean tried but he didn’t know what could have put you in this state. The bunker was the safest place in the world, nothing could enter and hurt them here.

“Why does it always have to be something evil with you two?” Gabriel asked from the corner of the room, his sudden appearance making both Winchesters jump.

“Gabe! You have to do something. You have to help her.” Dean was quick to reach the Archangel, not bothering about the fact that he just appeared for no reason.

“Oh I’m already helping her, don’t worry,” Gabriel pushed Dean slightly on the side so he could come closer and sit at your feet. A fond smile on his lips as he watched you sleep peacefully.

The Winchesters remained silent, staring at Gabriel expectantly, waiting for more information from him. The archangel rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, how could those two idiots be still alive, after so many years was beyond him. They were so slow sometimes.

“I’m the one who put her under the sleeping spell.” Sometimes it was better to say it straight if you wanted to get to the main point quickly.

“What?” The Winchester brothers said in sync.

“She’s having the time of her life! Well...she’s going to if she relaxes and lets go.” Gabriel announced, proud of himself. Though his own satisfaction disappeared quickly when Dean grabbed him by the collar and pushed him strongly against the nearest wall.

“Wake. Her. Up.” Dean seethed lowly, he was ready to beat the hell out of Gabriel if he needed to. Super powerful archangel or not.

“Now, now,” Gabriel easily freed himself from Dean’s tight grip. “That’s not my job.”

“And whose job is it?” Sam asked, he was calmer than his older brother but he needed just one more tiny push before feeling the need to kill Gabriel himself.

“Prince Not So Charming over here,” Gabriel replied, his thumb over his shoulder, pointing at Dean.

“What?” Dean’s eyes widened. He didn’t have time to react when Gabriel stopped in front of him, pressing two fingers to his forehead.

“One rule: play along and be honest,” he whispered before Dean fell unconscious.

That's how she knows that you love her

That's how you show her you love her (That's how you know)

He didn’t know what was going on anymore. One second he was inside your room, ready to give Gabriel the death sentence, and the other he was sitting in a white carriage in the middle of who knows where.

You've got to show her you need her

Don't treat her like a mind reader (That's how you know)

Dean didn’t know what was the craziest. The fact that he was sitting in a carriage, wearing a monkey suit, or that he was watching you singing and dancing with people, too many people. And you were wearing a dress too! As far as he could, he didn’t remember seeing you in a dress. He had to admit that it suited you. You should wear it more often even though it wouldn’t be practical during a hunt.

That's how she knows that you love her

That's how you know that you love her

It's not enough to take the one you love for granted (He's your love)

The crowd cheered happily once the song was over. It took a few seconds for Dean to understand what was going on. He's heard this song so many times, the monstrous melody was engraved into his brain forever.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

You were giggling and clapping enthusiastically as you sat down, sitting in front of Dean. You still were a bit surprised to see Dean instead of Patrick Dempsey. You knew Gabriel was having fun with the three of you, and you had to admit that seeing Sam wearing tights was particularly funny but you still were wondering why Gabriel thought having Dean here as well would be funny. Strangely, you didn’t complain about it. Sure Dean wasn’t Patrick Dempsey but he was still Dean Winchester and you would be lying to yourself if you said that Dean wasn’t easy on the eyes. It was difficult to play at first, having the face of your friend in front of you but you quickly realized that he wasn’t truly Dean, just a dreamy representation, just like Sam.

“What’s wrong?” You asked him when you noticed something different in his eyes. There was a kind of glint in them that wasn’t there before.

“Where the hell are we?” Dean exclaimed grumpily. “And since when are you singing?”

You blinked several times, surprised by his outburst. “Dean? Is that really you?”

“Son of a bitch!” He yelped, shoving away the two doves over his head.

Well, things just get more complicated.

***

“Really, Gabriel?” Sam gave the archangel his best bitchy face, the latter only shrugged, not seeing where the problem was.

Sam grunted as he tried to lift Dean’s unconscious body from the ground. When he cast the spell, Gabriel didn’t see the need to prevent Dean from the heavy fall, it was even a little funny if he was honest. Once Dean was securely thrown over his shoulder, Sam glared at the angel.

“You mind telling me what this is about?”

“She needed a break, ok? She was feeling really, really down yesterday night.” Gabriel started to explain, a mix between seriousness and worry written all over his face.

“We know.” Sam agreed, his anger slowly replaced by sadness. “We were working on it.”

Gabriel scoffed at that. “Right! Another hunt, huh? It worked so well before.”

“Because you think your way is better?” Sam shifted from one foot to another, his brother was kind of heavy.

Gabriel shrugged. He didn’t know if his little plan would work but it was worth the shot. Truth to be told, you and Dean were really stubborn, and if you didn’t play his little game like how Gabriel expected, who knew what would happen.

***

Dean was standing in the middle of a living room, wearing only a bathrobe. He did as you told him and followed your lead. You’ve spent half of the day together, acting like the characters of your movie, and he would lie if he said that he didn’t enjoy the time he had spent with you at the restaurant but he had enough of all this shit already. He didn’t know why he ended up here and he couldn’t care less, what mattered the most was to get you and him out of here, as soon as possible.

“You have to wake up, Y/N.” He told you sharply, keeping his voice low so he didn’t wake up the little girl sleeping in the next room.

“Don’t you think I’m trying?” You hissed, using a cushion to hide your bare legs. You were only wearing a shirt, and you wouldn’t feel as embarrassed as you were feeling now if it was Patrick Dempsey instead of Dean. “Gabe told me to play along and that’s what I’m doing.”

“He told me that too,” Dean remembered the last words from Gabriel before he was sent into this nightmare.

“Every time I refuse to follow the movie, it starts all over again. I think if I reach the end of it, I’ll wake up but as for you, I have no idea why you’re here. I mean, you were here but it wasn’t really you before, if you know what I mean?”

“I don’t know the movie. How am I supposed to stop this?” Dean groaned then started to pace in the middle of the room. To be honest, he knew the movie, the big lines anyway. Whenever he watched it with you, Dean was more focused on you than the movie. He loved the fact that it brought a smile to your face every time. Of course, he wasn’t going to admit this out loud.

You sighed and scratched the back of your head. “Just follow my lead.” You stood up and stood in front of him, trying to ignore the fact that Dean Winchester was naked under that bathrobe. “Let’s start a fight.”

“I’m sorry?” Dean blinked several times, totally lost with your plan.

“Come on, yell at me or something.” You encouraged him, waving your hands in the air.

“Yeah, that’s not happening.” Dean scoffed and took a step aside.

“Really?” You defied, knowing you were heading exactly where you wanted.

“No.”

“No?” Perfect. You were back on track! “Is that the only word that you know? No?”

“What? No!”

“Yeah? No! Over and over again. Every word out of your mouth is ‘no’! It makes me so...angry!” You forced a laugh with the last word, you weren’t in the mood at all, but the show must go on as they say.

“Are you alright?” Dean asked, worried about your sanity. He knew what Gabriel’s tricks could do to a human mind.

You punched him in the chest lightly before calming down. “I’m...I’m wonderful.”

Dean’s face told you he wasn’t buying it.

You were far from wonderful, you perfectly knew what was going to happen next, and it was going to be awkward. Why did it have to be Dean in front of you? Playing your part just became ten times worse. You swallowed hard as you brought your fingers near Dean’s bare chest. Dean froze when he felt your fingers against his skin, just over his heart. It took all his willpower to control the beating as calmly as possible. You glanced at his lips then his eyes, oblivious of Dean doing exactly the same thing. Slowly you brought your face closer, Dean doing the same. You shouldn’t feel so scared, you knew what was going to happen, everything was fake. So why were you so thrilled suddenly? Did Dean know he had to walk away?

Apparently yes, because the next second Dean cleared his throat and walked away. This was a real torture to him, he needed to get out of here before he would do something you would regret. You didn’t have to pretend you were feeling disappointed with him leaving you alone, and you really were confused about what just happened and what you were starting to feel.

***

Once he had laid down Dean on his bed, Sam came back into your room where Gabriel was still watching over you. He was expecting this to be over already, what was taking them so long?

“This is your worst idea, ever, Gabe,” Sam said grumpily as he sat next to the archangel, a hand rubbing his face.

“I know they’re kind of slow but-” Gabriel agreed, knowing his plan wasn’t perfect but he had little time to think about it.

“Slow? That’s an understatement.” Sam scoffed, shaking his head. “My brother thinks it’s one-sided or that he doesn’t deserve her or some crap, while Y/N is too scared to admit she’s head over heels in love with Dean.”

“You knew?” Gabriel was surprised. He had just realized there might be something between them, the night before. How come Sam knew before him?

“You spend as much time with those two idiots as I do and you’ll know,” Sam smirked, before he became serious again, wanting to know more about Gabriel’s next move. “So what are you going to do to fix this mess if none of them admit their feelings?”

Gabriel’s lack of an answer wasn’t reassuring. He hadn’t thought about that.

***

As if being stuck in this movie wasn’t enough already, Dean had to be wearing this stupid royal outfit. The material was scratching his skin and he wasn’t thinking about the pair of tights. This was humiliating, really. Gabriel was so dead once they were back. If they ever came back.

All his negative thoughts flew away when Dean spotted you at the top of the giant stairs. You were once again wearing a dress. If there was one thing that he enjoyed with this mess, it was the dresses, they looked really good on you. Though, right now you were stunning. The dress was really simple contrary to the royal dresses the folks around him were wearing but you were the most beautiful woman in the room to Dean’s eyes. Honestly, he didn’t need you to wear a dress to find you beautiful and attractive. You gave him the most beautiful and biggest smile as your eyes made contact with his. Even though he didn’t know the movie as best as you, Dean recognized that part of the movie. It was your favorite part, you told him that every time you’ve reached that particular scene. The way your face would brighten saying this, how carefree and innocent you looked when you admitted it, Dean loved every fucking second of it and that’s why he accepted to watch the movie with you every time you asked him to.

As he was fondly thinking about those precious moments he had shared with you back in the bunker, his eyes followed your form elegantly walking down the stairs. This scene was becoming his favorite too, but only because you both were in it. You stopped just a few inches from him, and Dean was still lost in his thoughts, his lips slightly parted and totally speechless.

Someone cleared his throat and broke the magical spell between you two. That was when Dean noticed Sam next to you.

“Nice tights, Sammy,” Dean mumbled, trying to focus on something else than you.

“Thank you, peasant.” Sam thanked him, genuinely.

“Still not the real Sam.” You whispered to Dean.

“Right.” Dean nodded, still thinking about his first encounter with this weird Sam, and more particularly the moment he heard him sing. He will make fun of his little brother for the rest of his life.

A voice resonated into the huge ballroom. “Well folks, it’s that time of the night. I would like to ask each gentleman to invite a lady he did not accompany this evening to dance the King and Queen’s Waltz.”

Sam invited the woman who was Dean’s partner, the latter more than happy he did. Dean had tried the whole evening to get rid of her, refusing to dance with her or whatever crap the movie expected him to do. It was during that time when Dean realized that Y/N was the only one who had to follow the movie. The rule was only meant for you apparently. She accepted and walked with Sam in the middle of the room, getting ready to dance and leaving you and Dean alone and very awkward. He knew what was going to happen next and he was so not ready for this.

“Y/N,” Dean stuttered, licking his dry lips before giving you an apologetic look. “I don’t dance.”

You came closer, holding his hand in yours. “Please. Humor me,” you whispered, your eyes roaming over his. Dean obliged because there was no way he was going to say no to you when you looked at him like that.

The soft music started as you walked, hand in hand towards the middle of the room. Feeling insecure and totally out of your comforting zone you stood face to face. Dean exhaled softly before grabbing your right hand in his and resting his other one on your hip while yours found the perfect place over his left shoulder. Slowly the both of you started to sway from left to right, the moves awkward but soon you let yourselves go and started to properly waltz. Sure, it didn’t look as professional as it was in the movie, but to you, it was still perfect. Slowly you got closer, Dean brought his lips near your ear, hot breath tickling your skin.

When you heard Dean’s soft but offkey voice singing the lyrics, exactly like in the movie, you felt your heart skipping a beat and realized what all of this was about. You finally understood what Gabriel wanted you to know. All those strange feelings you’ve had since you’ve met him, it was more than friendship. If you were honest with yourself, you secretly knew what it was but you were too scared to admit it, even to yourself. Ignorance is bliss, particularly in your lifestyle. You smiled as Dean pulled you closer to him, feeling his warmth against your skin and you let yourself enjoy the moment, a soft smile on your face as you rested your head against his shoulder.

Too soon, someone broke the moment. Nancy, Dean’s date, interrupted you and asked for Dean’s attention, while Sam did the same with you. Regrettably, you let Dean go and accepted Sam’s awaiting hand. The two of you shared one last longing look before you started to climb up the stairs. Once you were at the top, Sam went to get your wrap after he made sure you were fine. You were far from being fine contrary to what you had assured him. You weren’t even pretending to play along anymore, you were truly devastated because you knew that it was only a dream, and once everything would be over, it would only remain a dream. There was no way Dean Winchester would be in love with you. The lyrics of the song fitted perfectly ‘So close and still so far.’

You jumped when an old lady appeared behind your back. It was the old witch, the one who wanted to kill you and you tried your best to not roll your eyes as you let her speak and pretend that she has been looking for you. If only you had your gun with some witch killing bullet with you but you could only cringe as you felt her wrinkled hands covering your bare shoulders as she forced you to look at Dean.

“To never be with the one you love.” She said, and you were hit by the truth behind those words.

Then she offered a red apple. “Just one bite, my love, and all of this will go away.” If only it was true.

You glanced one more time at Dean who was looking at you as well. Judging by his face you could tell he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. That was when a strange, and very stupid thought crossed your mind. Maybe you could stay like this? Maybe if you refused to finish the movie over and over again it would only restart to the beginning, and never end?

“But you must hurry. The magic will not work unless you take a bite before the clock strikes 12.” The witch warned you, pushing the apple into your hands. You didn’t need to think twice and took a tiny bite, falling unconscious the next second.

“No!” Dean screamed, witnessing the whole scene. How could he forget that part? He had made fun of it with you, saying it was too cliché. He started to run towards you as the witch took you away, kicking into the stupid apple as he climbed up two steps at a time. Fortunately, Sam was quicker than him and stopped the witch to leave with you.

Someone brought a small couch for you and Sam laid you down gently before taking his sword out from its sheath and pointing it right against the witch’s throat.

“Y/N.” Dean knelt next to you, fearing the worst when he saw how pale your face was. He had seen enough dead people to know how death looked like. And right now, he was living one of his deepest fears.

The witch started to explain what happened but Dean didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t have time for this stupid drama.

“Shut up!” Dean shouted, leaving everyone speechless. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from you, he would do anything to bring you back.

“Kiss her,” Dean asked Sam in a whisper. He knew what needed to be done.

“What?”

“A true love’s kiss, all of this is about this stupid crap so now kiss her and bring her back to me!” Dean yelled, he didn’t care if it followed the movie or not, he just wanted to bring you back. That was all that mattered.

“Yes of course!” Sam exclaimed, before pushing Dean on the side and kneeling in front of you. “I knew that,” Sam added, matter of factly. He clearly forgot about that.

Sam pressed his lips against yours, there was nothing romantic in the gesture. A simple brush of his lips against yours, as if there was no feeling at all. He parted and waited for you to open your eyes but nothing happened. So Sam tried again, pressing his lips a bit more forceful, again and again.

“Why isn’t it working?” Dean whispered, feeling more desperate as the seconds ticked by. Speaking of seconds, the clock chimed, announcing midnight. The witch laughed evilly, giving Dean a weary feeling.

“When the clock strikes 12, she will be dead.” The witch informed Sam and Dean, she was glad that her plan worked perfectly.

“Somebody as a gun?” He asked no one in particular. If the kiss didn’t work, maybe killing the witch would break the spell?

“Unless…” Sam started to say, thinking deeply before turning his gaze towards Dean.

“No, no, no. It couldn’t be me.” Dean shook his head, he knew you weren’t feeling anything for him. You were just friends. It was one-sided. It wouldn’t work and you were running out of time, he needed to find something else.

“Kiss her, Dean! It’s ok.” Nancy cut him short, urging him to do it.

Dean shifted from one foot to another, not liking the sudden attention on him. The clock chimed again and Dean finally moved. He knelt once again and brushed the hair that fell in front of your eyes. Gently his hand cupped the back of your neck and brought your face closer to his.

“Please, please, please.” Dean murmured as he lowered his own face.

The clock struck 12 as he pressed his lips against your cold ones, in a chaste kiss. Reluctantly he broke the kiss and looked at you, praying for your eyes to open but as he was fearing nothing happened and you remained still. You weren’t feeling the same, he knew it.

The crowd fell silent and the air around was filled with sadness as they lowered their heads.

A soft gasp left your lips as you slowly regained consciousness, your eyes falling over Dean’s teary ones. You gave him a soft smile as your hand cupped his cheek.

“I thought that I had lost you.” Dean breathed, tightening his hold around your waist.

You shook your head no before you pressed your forehead against his.

“Come on, let’s finish this movie, and let’s go back.” Dean smiled at you as he helped you to stand up.

Gently you pushed him away, giving him an apologetic smile. “I’m not coming back, Dean.”

“What?” Dean chuckled, thinking you were joking but his smile fell when he saw how serious you looked.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to live knowing this is not true. Gabriel gave me this gift and I intend to keep it. Now that I know how it feels like, I can’t let it go, Dean.” You tried to explain.

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked, totally lost. Why did you change your mind? Why now, after all of this? This was not supposed to go that way.

“Everything is so perfect, too perfect to be true. I don’t even think you’re really you.” You walked around the couch, stopping a few feet from the witch.

“I’m real, alright,” Dean argued, his eyes following your every move.

“Yeah, right.” You chuckled and picked up the sword on the floor. “Dean Winchester, the badass hunter who doesn’t like chick-flick moments dancing and singing? Come on…”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Dean held out his hands, silently begging you to stop what you were going to do. “Look at me, please. It’s me, I swear.”

“I’m tired of this. I don’t want to feel bad because I screwed up a case. I have enough of this burden and if I’m being honest, I can’t go back and just be friends. This, here, is better. It’s all I ever wanted without knowing it.” You said more to yourself than him. You were totally lost in your thoughts. “If I don’t end this movie, it will start again and again. It’s not perfect but it’s still better than nothing.”

“Y/N, don’t!” Dean warned but it was in vain and he could only watch you helplessly as you killed the witch. She wasn’t supposed to die like that, even Dean knew it. Everything froze around you and you gave one last glance at Dean before everything became black.

***

Dean woke up with a start. It took a few seconds for his brain to register that he was back into the bunker. Without wasting another second, Dean rushed out of his room and headed for yours. Sam and Gabriel jumped from surprise when Dean barged into the room.

“Dean!” Sam exclaimed, relieved that his brother was safe but Dean didn’t care, his attention focused on your still sleeping form.

“Wait. If you’re awake, why isn’t she?” Sam asked, suspecting there was a problem.

Dean licked his lips as he took a step closer to your bed. “She...she doesn’t want to.”

“What? Why?” Gabriel and Sam exclaimed at the same time.

“I don’t know, ok?” Dean yelled at them, they were too loud and he needed to think, he needed to find a way to bring you back. “Send me in there again. I’ll make her change her mind.”

Gabriel remained silent and simply stared at him. He couldn’t send him back once again. There were no more ingredients for the spell. It was only meant for two.

“Send me back, Gabriel! Now!” Dean roared, pushing the archangel hard against the wall.

“I can’t!”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Sam put himself between the both of them, stopping the fight before it became really serious. “What happened, there? What did you do?”

Dean tried to compose himself, giving Gabriel one last murder look. “We were in this movie, her favorite one.”

“Enchanted?” Sam asked for more precision, knowing perfectly your guilty pleasure. You weren’t shy about it.

“Yeah. We played the roles, just like Gabriel wanted. We thought that if we reached the end of the movie we would be back. Everything worked perfectly until I kissed her and…”

“You two kissed?” Sam and Gabriel asked, once again in sync. A huge smile on their faces, it did work as they expected in the end.

“Not really the main event right now!” Dean tried to keep the guys focused. “Then she said she wanted to stay and living it over and over again was better than nothing. I don’t know what she meant.” Dean added before he sat next to you, his head between his hands. He didn’t know what else he could do.

Gabriel weighed the pros and cons, all of this went too far. Without wasting another second he walked towards your bed and pressed two fingers against your forehead. You didn’t really understand what Gabriel meant but keeping you in this state for too long isn't safe anymore. He needed to wake you up. He would find another way to make you realize anyway.

However nothing happened, you were still sleeping. Watching you carefully, Gabriel noticed that your eyelids weren’t moving anymore, meaning you weren’t even dreaming.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, noticing how Gabriel’s body tensed up.

“I erased the dream but she still won’t wake up. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s not supposed to go this way.” Gabriel explained, worried filling his voice.

“So what now? She’s not even in the dream? Where is she?” Dean asked, fearing the worst.

“Like a coma, or something? I don’t know!” The archangel yelled, he was not used to this kind of problem.

“Alright,” Sam tried to put the pieces back in order. “Gabriel, is it a spell or your own magic?”

“A bit of both, I guess? But mainly a spell.” Gabriel answered.

“So there must be a cure, right?” Sam said, already leaving the room and heading for the library.

Gabriel and Dean were right behind him. The three men started to research through the many books in the library.

“Where did you find that spell?” Sam asked, they needed as much information as possible if they wanted to find the cure.

“I’ve spent a wonderful night with that witch, name was Zahia. Geez, she was wicked!” Gabriel smiled mischievously as he remembered that particular night. Quickly he cleared his throat and became serious all over again when he noticed the brothers weren’t interested in those details.

“Great, call her and tell her to bring her ass here,” Dean ordered.

“It was one hundred years ago! In Casablanca. I don’t know if she’s even alive.”

“Then start reading,” Sam mumbled, throwing Gabriel the nearest book before opening the one in front of him.

***

It has been two days and they were still clueless. Gabriel did try to find Zahia but as he suspected she was nowhere to be found. For the first time Gabriel, the Archangel was feeling desperate. Because of him, one of his best human friends (the only one) was sleeping peacefully, waiting for her death and he couldn’t not do anything to help her.

“Did you try to kiss her?” Gabriel asked Dean who closed his book, quite noisily.

“What? You believe in true love’s kiss?” Dean scoffed, having enough of it.

Sam, who came with more coffee, stopped dead in his tracks and turned around, pointing the coffee pot at his brother. “You know what? It might be worth a shot.”

“Are you crazy? There’s no way it will be that easy!” Dean argued, jumping to his feet.

“There’s always a part of truth in the legends, Dean,” Sam said calmly. “It won’t hurt to try.”

Dean shook his head, and exited the library, fuming. This was the dumbest idea they came with. After everything they went through, they should know that all that crap didn’t work. There was no such thing as ‘love is the most powerful thing in the world’ or ‘a true love’s kiss’. No, their lives were full of curses, hurt, and death. Period.

Unknowingly Dean walked into the bunker until he reached your room and was now pacing in front of your closed door. Dean remained silent for a moment, thinking hard about it. He didn’t really believe in it but Sam was right, he had nothing to lose if he tried. Dean ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily before opening your door.

Silently he walked inside and sat on the edge of your bed, taking a few minutes to look at you. You were becoming paler as the days passed, Gabriel tried his best to keep your health in good condition but the curse seemed to block most of his powers. It was just a matter of hours before you would be gone for good.

He caressed your cheek with the back of his fingers while he held one of your hands with his free one. Dean took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“I know our lives are far from perfect. To be honest they are crappy and I understand that you don’t want to live it anymore. Staying in your little dream was more appealing, believe me, I know how you felt. But look at what happened now, you still went down the bad path and didn’t get what you really wanted. It’s not fair.”

His voice was only a whisper, as if he was scared of waking you up when it was only what he truly wanted. He was such a mess! You were dying, without even knowing it and Dean couldn’t do anything to save you.

“I should have told you earlier, I know that. And I won’t make the same mistake, so I’m gonna tell you how I really feel about you, I hope you can hear me.”

Dean moved a bit, taking a more comfortable position.

“I’m so mad at you right now. I don’t hate you, because I can’t hate you, let’s be honest. But I’m mad, Y/N. You choose the easy way, you stopped fighting, this is not you. You’re the cool chick who fights tooth and nail and who never gives up.”

He had to stop for a short second, sniffing as he fought against the tears. His grip around your hand tightened before he kept on going.

“And that’s why I love you. You’re always reminding me there’s hope. You’re my hope, Y/N. I can’t promise you the moon or the happy endings but I can promise you that I’ll spend the rest of my life loving you. I’ve already made this promise a few years ago, I just never told anyone.”

Dean stopped stroking your cheek, cupping the back of your head instead, the exact same move that he had done earlier in your dream.

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you,” Dean whispered, bringing your face closer to his before he pressed his lips against yours in another chaste kiss. Praying with all his heart that the magic would strike again.

Slowly Dean parted, his hands refusing to let go as he held his breath. He couldn’t believe it when he felt your body twitching, your eyes fluttering open slowly.

“Hey…” You smiled sleepily. “What did I miss?”

Dean smiled back at you, breathing once again as you were finally awake.

“The most heartbreaking declaration of love I’ve ever heard. A bit too cheesy but who cares?” Gabriel’s voice came from the other side of the closed door, quickly followed by a thumping noise and a cry of pain.

Dean was already planning five ways to kill him and make him suffer but your voice broke his concentration.

“Oh, I don’t know. I kind of like it.” You smirked when his eyes fell on you, a blush covering your cheeks.

“You heard it? All of it?” Dean asked, he wanted to be sure.

You nodded and your smile fell. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I thought it wouldn’t be possible for you to...you know?” You trailed off, looking at the wall instead of him.

“Oh, I know,” Dean said, his hand cupping your cheek and forcing you to look at him. “But let me show you how wrong you were instead, hum?” He whispered, bringing his face closer and kissing you again.

This one was more passionate, all of his feelings poured into the kiss. Everything he wanted to tell you but couldn’t. This kiss wasn’t chaste as the few ones you shared, in your dream or in reality. This one was needy and a little something more than what you could expect for a fairy tale movie.

FIN

Pour Toujours tags: @drakelover78, @akshi8278

#supernatural fanfiction #dean winchesterxreader #dean winchester x you #female!reader #reader insert #sam winchester #gabriel #enchanted #fluff #one-shot #spn fanfic

46 notes · View notes