#over 2 years now. she has not tried to guilt trip me (call me a selfish bitch/horrible person/accuse me of wanting her dead etc) in 1.5 year | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chaosjester666 · 2 months

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So yea ✨️rant time✨️ because if I don't get this off of my chest I don't know what I will do to my self (TW: Talk of neglect, almost child abuse/assault, throwing up, guilt tripping, manipulation, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of sh)

So lately my mom has saddled me with a shit ton of stuff to do, despite the fact that I am trying to relax and not worry about the fact that I have a court case soon which I will not be discussing in this rant but still and I haven't gotten around to it in like 3 days cause 1) my insomnia is back which is not giving me any energy 2) I've been having migraines 3) I have been feeling sick

Now most parents when their kid tells them that they feel like their going to throw up normal care and let the kid rest, my mother? No. She instead tells me to "go throw up then" and that "for her entire freshman year and for the most part of her time in high-school she threw up ✨️daily✨️ which is not healthy so you would think she wouldn't want that for her child but no, instead she guilts me with it.

So that's been happening and now she has threatened with taking away ALL of my safe spaces as some form of messed up threat. And when I was about to begine because I'm sick of her taking my safe places from me I got sick so I went to my bathroom, and that's where she found me and she didn't even let me explain before ordering me to do more things so my list was now A)sort through books to see which are in good condition so she can uses them when she starts teaching 1st grade(why is she even making me do it solo?) B) orginize A SHIT TON LIKE 7 STORAGE BOXES WORTH of old toys and other objects from when I was little(by myself mind you and I have the attention span of a squirrel on crack) and C) feed the animals(which lately she has me do all the damn time because she's too "tired" or "waiting for her bf to tell her to come over") and D) take a shower all by the time she comes back and like she doesn't even tell me properly what time she'll be back I just have to assume she'll be back by 5, but then not even like 5-10min later AS IM ABOUT TO TAKE A SH- she calls me and tells me to come down to her bfs house.

[Now some context on why I HATE her bf, I have known her bf(M) for as long as I've been born and he is very much old school boomer, and I vividly remember one time when I was IN EITHER KINDERGARTEN OR 1ST GRADE I was being a brat (like how most kids that age are when they are being forced to do something they don't want to do) and M decided to WRAP ME IN DUCK TAPE AND PUT TAPE ON MY MOUTH mind you I was in one of those puffy winter coats BUT STILL THAT SHIT TRAUMATIZED ME. And whenever I'm around him ever since my parents divorced it feels like he's trying to be a father figure, while at the same time treating me like a servant or a brat. And my mom has forced me to go with her and her fucking boy toy on camping trips and whenever that happens I'm treated like dirt by the both of them. And he tries CONSTANTLY to trie and "stear me onto the right track in life" yet also going on and on about how I have "no respect for anyone" and that I'm an "entitled brat" and he gets pissed when I don't talk to him when I'm forced on one of their trips or when im forced to eat dinner at his place yet when I talk to him he gets pissed at me if I say something a certain way. So yea I don't like him(and it doesn't help that if I don't go down to his place when my mother asks me to come down I get yelled at).]

I ofcourse confused ask why and am just told to come down because she "told me to" and I want to know why cause I had already texted her that I was going to take a shower soon, but she won't tell me and then her boy toy gets on the line spewing shit about how I have no respect and the like before hanging up. And so I just shrug it off and JUST AS IM ABOUT TO TAKE MY SHOWER LIKE 2-3MIN LATER my fucking mother comes in and tells me to put my robe on before walking away

Now I'm confused AND now really annoyed, and so I put my robe on and go out to where they were and then told to "pick a seat" and they give me no context AND THEN AND FUCKING THEN MY MOTHERS FUCKING BOY TOY WHO IS ALMOST TWICE HER AGE STARTS ASKING ME "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS" "WHY DO YOU HAVE NO RESPECT" "WHAT HAS YOU ACTING LIKE THIS" AND OTHER SIMILAR THINGS AND THEN STARTS PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH "IS IT SOMETHING AT SCHOOL" "IS IT SOMETHING AT HOME" "IS IT TO DO WITH ME" "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS" AND I DONT WANT TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS SHIT

AND WHEN I MENTION THAT ID RATHER TALK TO A THERAPIST ABOUT THIS SHIT HE GOES "well im a therapist" now I have known this man MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE and I have never heard of this before and when I tell him I don't belive him he goes "want me to get my license? My phd?" AND IM JUST GOING IN MY HEAD "THIS MAN IS A MECHANIC WHAT THE FUCK" and then it dawns(hehe...) on me he's serious and now I have another reason not to talk to him about this shit

Cause you see ever since I was Itty bitty like kindergarten grade and YOUNGER I have had to tag along to my mothers therapy appointments and as I got older and my anger issues began to develop and get worse I still had to come along and so when I would snap AND MY MOM WOULD GO TO HEAR THERAPIST(DAWN) I WOULD ALSO BE THERE AND THEN DAWN WOULD GRILL ME ABOUT IT AND WHY I ACTED THE WAY I DID AND EVEN AFTER TELLING THE TRUTH I WOULDNT BE BELIVED AND SHE ACTUALLY TRAMATIZED ME AND SO NOW I DONT TRUST ANY THEARPIST THAT COULD KNOW DAWN OR MY MOTHER

And it doesn't help that this went on for years until it got to the point where Dawn had given me multiple mental and emotional breakdowns. And it also didn't help that during my childhood I was bullied by a 20 something cousin in 2-3, emotionally neglected by my mother and grandmother(Sue), was basicly taught that negative emotions were not allowed, was constantly bullied at school and 1-4 had 1 toxic af friend and in 5th and an toxic friend group, was subconsciously taught that violence was the only way to be taken seriously, was taught to bottle up all anger until it burst, was not given a therapist until 6th and even then said therapist knew Dawn, was taught that my mental needs didn't matter, was taught that I would never be listened to, taught myself how to dissociate, became borderline dependent on the internet to save face and sanity, taught that no matter what I do ill never be enough, taught that my thoughts on a subject didn't matter, taught that I had no choice in career or schooling, and that my feelings didn't matter so long as I got "a good education". So to say I have issues is an under statement

And so I really didn't feel comfy talking to mother(kasondra)s boy toy and so I started doing my breathing exercises to calm down seeing as I knew I would be allowed to walk away. But then kasondras boy toy got pissed I was "ignoring" him and said "don't you start crying now" and after I didn't give him a reaction HE SLAMMEDD ON THE TABLE MULTIPLE TIMES TO TRY TO GET MY ATTENTION AND SAID "CMON GIRL GET MAD CUSS AT ME SWEAR AT ME TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL" and when I explained in a tense but calm voice that I was doing my breathing exercises he said "don't get mad yell at me tell me how you really feel" (now see I have trained myself to never tell those who are in cahoots with kasondra my real feelings) and so I snapped and yelled at him, this is how it went

"JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE I DONT WANT TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT THIS SHIT" -me

"oh ho ho ho ho don't you speak to me like that little girl"- kasondras boy toy

I began my breathing exercises again

"Look at me little girl you need to start respecting your mom, now what is wrong with you, what has you acting this way"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Why"

"Because you won't like any answer I give"

"Oh is that it we won't do what you want"

"No"

"Then what is it"

"... just leave me alone"

"There it is 'leave me alone' what do you think that'll fix"

"I'd rather talk to a actual therapist"

"Do you really think a therapist will just fix everything? Cause I'm going to be honest therapy ain't going to do shit"

And it kept going like that back and forth until I snapped

"JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, I NEED FUCKING THERAPY AND I AM TRYING TO CALM MYSELF DOWN BUT YOU ARNT LETTING ME AND YOU(kasondra) KNOW THAT I NEED TO BE ALONE TO CALM DOWN YOU KNOW THIS AND I AM FUCKING DONE WITH ENTERTAINING THIS SHIT SI JIST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE"

And kasondras boy toy the proceeds to threaten to bust my ass for talking like that WHEN THAT WAS WHTA I WAS WANTING FROM ME and we started a back and forth again. And I'm starting to get a side effect of having to bottle up all negative emotions because of kasondra, having an emotional break down when pissed. So im hyperventilating while this fucking boomer goes on and on about how I have no respect for anyone and how I am a entitled brat and when I told him to just leave me alone he grabbed my moms belt(WHO FUCKING OFFERED IT TO HIM WHEN HE THREATENED TO BUST MY ASS TO WHERE I WOULDNT EVEN BE ABLE TO FUCKING SPEAK) and went to hit me, AND SO I FUCKING FLINCHED AND COVERED MY FACE AS I BEGAN HAVING A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK he didn't hit me but he got in my face and started talking about how if I was his kid he would have beat me for talking that way and when I said "good thing I'm not your kid then" HE GOT IN MY FACE AND STARTED YELLING AT ME

I finally got him to leave me alone and leave and I go and took my shower and had a complete melt down in the shower I had thoughts I hadent had IN YEARS, I thought about self unalivent and sh, which scared me cause I have to many friends to live for to even consider that, but hey at least that tipped me off on the fact that now I'm even worse mentally. And then fucking kasondra came in asking for my Swiss army knife one of my few comfort items(and I can't tell her that and she'll push and I ddint want to disclose that "hey I feel so unsafe in this house that having easy access to a UTILITY TOOL is a comfort") when I asked why she revealed Stephanie(kasondras boy toys daughter WHO IS CLOSE TO KASPNDRAS AGE) recommended TAKING EVERY SINGLE KNIFE IN THE HOUSE AND PUTTING IT IN THE SAFE so now I am down a comfort item, my safe places being threatened, feeling like shit and that even my own blood sees me as a danger, like my emotions and feelings don't matter, like my mental health doesn't matter, that my own mother considers her boy toys daughters opinion over mine, and that the only reason I'm still alive and living in this house is A) I have to many friends that I can't die on, B) I have to many plans with friends to give up, C) I don't have the money to support getting myself a place and still being able to bring my cat with, and lastly I still have goals to accomplish

So all in all today has been shit

#rant #personal rant

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lady-jane-asher · 1 year

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Jane Asher and Gerald Scarfe photographed at home, 1987.

Part 1 out of 2.

WHY DONT WE CARE

Of course most people would say that we do— but actress Jane Asher knows different. She knows only too well how a moment's carelessness can put your child in danger. And in her new book, she asks why we don't do more to keep our children safe. Mary Fletcher reports. Picture by Sandra Lousada.

Jane Asher sweeps in the front door, dumps a bag of supermarket shopping in one corner, rings her cartoonist husband Gerald Scarfe in his studio upstairs to tell him she's home, checks for messages, pats the dog, and removes the children's toys from the sofa. As one of those energetic people who likes to do several things at once, she has been up since seven, made breakfast for Katie, 14, Alexander, six and four-year-old Rory, driven them to school, done a telephone interview, spent the rest of the morning at her publisher's and been to Marks and Spencer to buy Gerald a pair of trousers. Now, with an hour to spare before another school run, she can sit down in her beautiful Chelsea home and chat. But you get the feeling she'd much prefer to be doing something useful, like icing a cake, learning a script or whipping up a gourmet dinner for six. Preferably all at the same time.

Since her mother took her to an acting agent at the age of five, largely because she was bright, pretty and had flame-coloured hair, Jane has never stopped doing things. She would have you believe she's totally inefficient. Yet it's hard to believe that being actress, author, columnist, charity worker, wife and mother all just get squeezed into her life higgledy-piggledy. "I'm always in a muddle. I rush from one thing to another and never quite get anything done,” she says unconvincingly.

“Gerald laughs when he sees me being called Superwoman because he knows what I'm like when I'm in a bad mood, rushing around shouting at the children and he's eating cornflakes for lunch!"

According to Jane, even child-rearing is being accomplished only by absentmindedly dropping one now and then, or having another one break bone by falling off a bike or a playhouse. It's reassuring to hear her say she's not the perfect mother. Otherwise her eighth and latest book might read like a guilt inducing lecture. Called Keep Your Baby Safe, it sets out every calamity that could possibly befall a baby up to the age of three: choking, cot death, concussion and cat scratches, dehydration, diarrhoea, dog bites, drowning. stings, snake bites, scalds, and sunburn.

As a list of all the ghastly things that can happen to a toddler, it's enough to put you off starting a family for all time. Which is certainly not Jane's intention.

She wrote it because she was asked and has ended up enormously proud of a handbook, which she hopes, unlike her fun books on cake decoration and fancy dress, might actually do some good. "It's difficult to mention everything that could cause an accident without making it seem as if life's not worth trying,” she says. "I've tried to keep the tone light, but at the same time I felt I had to put everything in. "You'd be a saint if you brought your children up without anything ever happening to them. You can't be vigilant every single second and there are some accidents that, no matter how careful you are, will happen anyway. But if the book helps to stop even one tragedy, then I feel it will have been worthwhile.”

As a mother of three, Jane admits to personal experience of at least some of the disasters she advises others to avoid. Even while writing the book, her son Alexander suffered a broken elbow and Rory a scalded foot. “ It's awful when you start looking back -you sound like some hopeless parent permanently tripping over them and throwing them downstairs," she says. "But you'd do anything to avoid your child being in pain. When Alexander broke his elbow, the feeling I had as a mother was m indescribable. It was the most hellish time of my life. When he was in the hospital screaming in agony, the sense of helplessness was absolutely ghastly the worst possible thing one could imagine. I remember my mother always said how she wished she could have the pain for us and I knew then exactly what she meant. Somehow the guilt of knowing that perhaps you could have prevented it makes it worse." Alexander's elbow is now back in working order, but the accident reinforced Jane's belief that not enough attention is paid to child safety.

(continued in the next post).

#jane asher #gerald scarfe #mother #80s #1987 #article #motherhood #book #the beatles #beatles girls #beatles girl #beatles women #redhead #red hair #lady jane asher #something about jane asher #ebay

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boldlymagnificenttrash · 2 years

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This Might be a Hot Take

Daniel and Chris are the healthier version of Max and Chloe.

Edit: I had someone ask me to elaborate, but either I'm too stupid to figure out how replies on Tumblr work or it won't work. That being said, the wiki acknowledges that Chris has similarities to Chloe: both being saved by the one who has powers and having a parent killed in a hit and run. Max was childhood friends with Chloe, moved away, but then came back. Daniel also became friends with Chris and has the potential to come back (in the High Morality endings anyway). The reason I say Chloe guilt trips Max a lot is that should Max do anything that isn't on Chloe's side, she'll repeatedly bring it up. I get it, the game wants to remind you that you have choices to make. But having a character repeatedly bring up, "You should have done this" to remind you of the choice you didn't make can make the character seem like they're guilting you for not doing the choice they wanted. Such as: Chloe repeatedly saying that Max didn't call her for five years, and for the first two episodes will continue to bring this up when she can. The most prominent example of this is: Max will have a choice to accept Kate's call or not accept it (even though she could easily walk and talk on the phone at the same time but whatever). Before the choice, Chloe will say, "Big whoop. You don't call me once in five years and now you're all over some beeatch you see every day at school? I see how you roll. So go ahead, chat up Kate Marsh from Blackwell. I've got other people to hang out with too." In Episode 1, should Max successfully hide in the closet, like Chloe told her to do, she can see Chloe argue with and be hit by David. Chloe would tell her quote, "He would've been a bigger dick if he caught you in here." But she'll then bring it up in Episode 3 like "You could always let me get busted like you did with the weed." You told Max to hide and said David would've been a bigger dick if he caught her. Why are bringing this up as if she didn't manage to hide and also didn't take the fall for you? Another example: if Max chooses not to shoot Frank, Chloe will bring up the fact that she doesn't have a gun, repeatedly. And I admit this will probably most likely be just a me thing, but it seemed like nostalgia was the only thing keeping their relationship afloat.

Now, Daniel has the option to not tell Chris the truth, but it depends both on how you raise Daniel and if you tell him to tell Chris the truth about his powers or not in Episode 2. But in the ending where Daniel tells Chris the truth, Chris will give Daniel his cape and help him and Sean escape from the police. In the ending where Chris tries to save Daniel and Sean, and Daniel saves him, Chris will rightfully seem upset that he wasn't actually the one who had powers. We don't see much of Chris after this, but it's implied that he's not too mad at Daniel for lying to him. In the ending where Chris gets hit by a car, he probably won't get mad at Daniel since he hadn't told or shown him that he was the one with powers. But in every ending, we don't see Chris get mad at Daniel for lying to him. Even though it'd be understandable if he was. And when Daniel does come back, Chris doesn't hold it over his head that he left him in the first place. He's just happy to have him back, as the pictures at the end seem to indicate. I admit, it'd probably be easier to prove or disprove my points if we actually saw how Chris reacted when Daniel moved back to Beaver Creek. And while away from Chris, Daniel will express remorse about either abandoning Chris, lying to him, or not helping him. Though I theorize that Chris isn't mad at Daniel for lying because he usually lies about how well his father is doing (those who have played Captain Spirit know what I'm talking about).

#life is strange #life is strange 2 #daniel diaz #chris eriksen #spiritwolf #max caulfield #chloe price #pricefield #guilt tripping friends? Chris could never #really living up to my username huh

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shutupbrain · 1 year

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sus, last 6-12 months

Suddenly opened a new, separate individual bank account which he said he made to better track his finances. All his commission checks go in there. I was very caught off guard only because we've had joint finances for over 9 years and have made all our major financial decisions together. He says he got it to better track his finances.

Makes "he" not "we" statements more often now I think about it.

He goes from buying himself a bunch of new gym equipment for our garage (which he used daily for some time) to saying he needs to workout at a gym every single workday instead. His reason being that he doesn't have what he needs at his home gym.

Bought and began wearing name brand cologne (has never worn cologne in our 11 years prior), new watch, investing much more effort into appearance. Explanation could be that he is just trying to have better self esteem after struggles with that in the past, feeling more confident from working out.

Stopped using the sharing feature we set up in Google photos with me.

After guilt tripping me for so long because I got to WFH, his job gave him a nice raise and told him he could now WFH because they want to do whatever they need to keep him. That was about 2 months ago and he's worked at home twice.

1 day he wouldn't give me the pin to log into his phone when I just wanted to Google something since I didn't have mine. He was cooking and said that he "doesn't remember it" and "only uses face ID." I thought that was bullshit and gave him side eye but brushed it off. I then realized after cooking that he came and swiped the phone up off the table and disappeared upstairs to "poop." Convenient..

Both of his phones are on total lockdown, I have no way to access them. He says it's because of how I've reacted to porn and porn subscription services he'd paid for in the past that I found. His computer is on lockdown too and he keeps a guest account for me to use if I need to on the rare occasion. He uses the same excuse he has for the phones for his PC. So he's hiding something on all devices without a doubt, but what exactly and the seriousness of it is anyone's guess.

He has suddenly expressed interest in getting a full sleeve tattoo, to cover his hand as well, which he was not very into when we discussed getting tattoos in the past. He also used to say he hated acrylic nails and when I got my hair done but now he's all for it. Suggested we take couples dance lessons which shook me but I thought was a really great attempt to reconnect. With all these other coincidences now though, I don't know. Personal growth or something else?

He has a girl he works with that he talks about on a daily basis. He's always told me about the office drama and coworkers which I like to hear about! But in the last few months he has said her name in conversation almost daily and together they talk about me and her fiance based on stories he's told me. He recently, unprompted mind you, told me they're like "brother and sister." He said he tells me all this to be more open so I don't worry or feel unfortunately. See my other post about how she's a total dime which he never mentioned.

He has been calling me a bitch frequently which is not a normal thing for us. When we were drunk the other night and having fun, we lost the keys and got into an argument. He looked me dead in the face and yelled that "you ain't shit! We all know who is paying for the locksmith and new keys, that's right, it's me!!"

I laid it all out for him tonight about how I'm feeling, that I may very well be crazy in this but I need to know if anything is going on. If there's nothing to hide, please just let me see your phones to ease my mind. He is taken aback and reluctant, it's obvious. But he gives me the personal one and logs me in while I follow him up the stairs to get the work one.

He tries to stall but I'm right up on him because I won't be able to feel at ease unless I can look at his phones without him having time to go thru and hide or delete anything first. He won't let me have both at once and trades me for the work one which I'm most curious for because of the situation. I see there's no texts with her, he's deleted them because I know they've definitely texted because he told me they do. There were many other conversations (mine included) so I know he's specifically deleting his conversations with HER! My heart drops to my stomach. This lack of text trail says so much. I go to the call logs and see some short calls with her too but those can be explained as work related. When confronted about the deleted texts, he says he always deletes the group texts with them it's never just with her. There were several other group chat message trails clearly there though and not deleted sooo.

When you've been in a romantic relationship as long as ours, spouses share everything with each other and want to because of their bond and friendship and closeness! Privacy in this stage is for things like planning surprises, time alone for whatever "you time" that's needed (showering, hobbies, not wanting to have an important work interview listened in on, etc.) Deleting messages isn't privacy, it's SECRECY. You are hiding something!

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miyagi-kolibri · 2 years

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Story time: there once was a girl that rocked my world. She spun it round and round. Untill we were motion sick. And then... it ended. This has happened over 8 years ago. About 8 years ago I met my first girlfriend. I still remember that she wore a red / pink / white checkered dress. We met eachother on the bus. She took interest in me and reached out to me through Facebook. After that we hit it off, we spend the next year together before our first breakup. Fast forward about half a year, she reached out to me, a message... about the passing of her grandma. At that time she guilt tripped me into having contact with her. In the end we got back together again. Fast forward another year, she called me out of the bloom, telling me she wants to breakup. After that I've been single for 6 years. During those years we had a couple interactions together. You could call it friendly checkups. During that time she was in a relationship. Last year around this time, we got back in contact. I was reminiscing old times with my grandma and a photo of me and this girl popped up. Which prompted me into reaching out. We had a chat, set a date to meetup to talk and play games. During that Initial meetup it was clear there were still feelings between us. During the week we had our meet up, we ended up kissing eachother and having intercourse. Couple days passed and I started to actually have feelings for her again, but I was too afraid of myself to admit those feelings. To afraid to be hurt again, given I have putten up a wall over the passed 6 years. Not wanting to get hurt again, not daring to be close to someone. The latter I tried 2 years ago and ended up blowing up in my face. Hence all the previous messages about that. During those days after our meeting and kissing, she mentioned that she was actually still married. I was shocked, felt lied to, I am so against cheating and now looking at me being the one that someone cheats with. I felts disgusting. After she explained the situation she managed to talk me into thinking it wasn't all bad, because why would it be if she hasn't been intimate or in love with her then current boyfriend for over half a year. Why would it be bad if she's about to go through a divorce anyways? During her divorce we started dating. Feel madly in love again, eventhough I felt madly in love I didn't fully let her know that because I was still afraid of myself and exposing myself to someone else. Hence I had doubts. Those doubts stopped the moment I just gave myself to her. Deciding to not hide behind my wall. The passed "almost year" we've spend together, I moved in with her. We got a cat and did all kinds of fun things. We had our ups and downs. I still had and have an issue with communication especially when it comes to emotions. Which caused friction. I told her I would work on it, but often issues that I had to work on wouldn't start until she was at a breaking point. Which is completely my fault. The things I did work on wouldn't last much longer than a month, I would slip up and the progress I had made would be nullified.

Two weeks ago, we broke up. Due to issues mentioned before and that she had the feeling I was too controlling and didn't feel at home anymore. I've lost everything I worked for. I am back into a bad mental state eventhough I finally managed to get out of it about 1.5 years ago. I've lost the freedom of living on your own, I've lost our cat but worse of all is that I lost her. All my pain turned into frustration. Feeling that it was unfair, unfair that she's having fun with friends while I'm laying in bed all day, not having irl friends and my online friends being preoccupied or not responding. Which is understandable given that my contact with them watered down during the passed year. Last Sunday I ended up venting all my frustrations to her, hurting her in the process, saying mean an nasty things. I regret all of it, I am both disappointed and disgusted in myself for doing so. I thought I was better than that but turns out I'm not. Now we've stopped all contact because of me being an absolute dick. All I want now is her forgiveness, I want her back, she brought me happiness no one could. I cherish her alot. And I want her to still be able to rely on me in times of need. All I've done is be a screw up, fucking things up and hurting someone I still love deeply. Im am so so sorry.

I just want you back. I still love you.

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birdwives · 2 years

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i doubt i’ll ever fully write it, but sometimes i entertain a little AU in my head where sigurd and randvi did have a child sometime in norway. and maybe sigurd isn’t even there for the latter half of the pregnancy or the birth - it’s eivor who makes sure randvi rests and eats enough, it’s eivor who has indents in her arm from randvi’s fingernails on the day she gives birth, it’s eivor who tries and fails to hide the tears in her eyes when she first holds the baby.

sigurd is gone for 2 years after that, and aunt eivor becomes this child’s second parent in everything but name. she holds him for hours when randvi needs to rest, soothes him, bathes him, and when he’s a little older, softens food for him to eat. randvi could not be more grateful, and falls a little more in love with eivor each day. when baby starts to learn to talk, he babbles the words he learned for mother at eivor, too, and she and randvi laugh it off, but it pulls at eivor’s heart in a way she cannot voice.

one day, randvi watches eivor spinning him around in the air as he laughs and laughs and thinks, my family, before she can stop it.

baby, now with a mop of ruddy blond hair, is running around and speaking sentences before he even meets his father. and eivor is torn; she wants him to know his father, she wants sigurd to raise him. but she knows that she will have to step down, now, and she mourns, because somewhere close to her heart, she knows she loves this child as her own.

then they move to england, and randvi teaches him to read, to do arithmetic, tells him of the norse and saxon beliefs, and of all the landmarks and cities and kings in england and norway. quickly, sigurd is gone again - and it’s eivor who is teaching him to strike with a wooden axe, it’s eivor who is helping him through the reading material randvi makes for him, it’s eivor who is telling him bedtime stories of her travels in these lands, it’s eivor who is taking him on walks near ravensthorpe and teaching him which plants he can eat and which ones he can’t.

slowly eivor allows longer stretches of time between her alliance trips, and she is more and more careful, when she is away - she wants to be able to come home to them; to her family, she thinks before she can stop it. in the valhalla simulation, when eivor imagines her everything else, it is the loudest thought on her mind.

as he reaches 7 or 8, it starts to become clear that he has randvi’s focus and intellect, and he shows all his feelings right on his face, just like eivor. it makes randvi chuckle, to see him frown just like eivor, to hear him parrot her common turns of speech. his gentleness and tenderheartedness remind eivor and randvi of another young boy they once knew.

the divorce is without much fanfare; the boy’s life is hardly different afterwards. sigurd is friendly enough, if a little stilted, towards him. he takes him on day trips from time to time, but does want to not raise him, and they all understand he never will. eivor sees the heaviness sigurd carries in his shoulders for it, and she takes him aside one day and says, though you did not know it, you have led me to the greatest gifts i have ever been given in this life. you need not feel guilt. and sigurd accepts what he has long suspected.

eivor thinks for a long time about what to say to randvi; how could she say in words what would take a lifetime to show? she finally settles on something to-the-point but from-the-heart: something randvi would appreciate. words quickly seem to matter little, as it turns out; randvi turns around right after the confession leaves eivor’s lips and nearly knocks her over in her haste to kiss her. eivor pulls her close afterwards, and they take a moment for themselves - standing beside the brook, under the shade of the trees, a ways off from gunnar and brigid’s wedding festivities - to hold each other. eivor has not felt such peace in years.

when randvi calls him “our son” a few weeks later, casually and without much thought, eivor tears up like the first time she held him.

#oops i made myself cry like three times here #eivor #randvi #randivor #acv #ac valhalla #long post

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rrazor · 3 years

Text

hq boys post wisdom teeth extraction

tags: fluff, soft boyfies lol

kuroo tetsurou wakes up and immediately the first thing he tells the professionals around him is that he wants to see his girlfriend because he knows you’re waiting for him and “i love her so much 🥺🥰" he says it a few more times and everyone laughs at how doped up he is both from the drugs and you. when you walk in to take notes on how to take care of him afterwards, he just stares at you as he holds you hand with the SOFTEST LOOK on his face like 🥺😍☺️❤️💕💖💝🥺🥰💖💝☺️

tetsu cannot stop looking at you and u almost have to plead with him to watch where’s he walking like tetsu pls we don’t wanna have to come back to get your front teeth done sweetie 🅱️lease!!!!!! other than that he is pretty easy to reason with it as long as you promise to kiss every part of his face once in a particular order and if u mess up, unfortunately, you’ll just have to start over again sigh it makes his heart go 💥💥💥

bokuto kuroo offers to drive him back home and brings you along to support and comfort him. he helps kou get into the back with you but he refuses and goes “kuroooooo, she’s too pretty, I dun wanna sit next to her ☹️” LMFAO kuroo rolls his eyes and just sits him down and buckles him in despite his protests HA

kou is super nervous and keeps looking over you when he thinks you aren’t looking like 🥺😊 and you decide to play along and ask him how he’s feeling and if he’s in pain and he shakes his head and goes “‘m okay, you’re really pretty though 🥺😍” kuroo snorts in the front seat and you’re trying rlly hard to not laugh at how cute he is so you take his hand and kou lit rally thinks he’s gonna pass out when you call him handsome and ask him out before kissing his cheek. he starts crying as he says things like “kuroo!!!! the pretty girl is my girlfriend now!! 🥺❤️😭💖💕😭😭🥳”

akaashi you’re already by his side by the time he wakes up but he doesn’t remember jack so he goes “hello, have u seen my girlfriend? she looks just like you. can u tell me if u see her? I would like to see her—she’s my everything 😊🥰” UGGHH KISS HIIMMM

he doesn’t remember who you are until the medication wears off but you manage to convince him that you’re gonna take him to his girlfriend so you can take him home 💀 and he spends the whole car ride really pretty quiet until you ask him why he’s so fidgety and then he softly tells you “i… can’t wait to see my girlfriend 🥺🥰💕 she said we’d go on an ice-cream date after🍦i hope she’s not mad that it’s been so long 🥺❤️💗” AHDHJANAA like a little happy babyyyy 🥺😭

oikawa tooru’s procedure finishes earlier than expected and has a dental hygienist watching over him as they wait for you and for some reason he starts to sing, but it’s really out of tune because of all the cotton in his mouth and the dental hygienist is just standing there, taking it. you can hear him down the hall as you walk into his room and he’s so excited to see you!!! “did you hear me sing for you, babe? i didn’t want you to get lost in this maze 🥺🥰” “yes, i did, tooru, tysm you don’t have to sing anymore 😊😇💕”

tries to pull you into his lap as the dentist goes through the aftercare procedures and whines “pleasssseeeee, it huuurrrrrttttts i just want cuddddlllleesssss 😭☹️🥺💕” you opt to sit on the edge of the chair as he buries his head in your back 🥰

iwaizumi YOU try to flirt with hajime because he doesn’t remember that you’re his girlfriend and he’s all like stop!!! i have a girlfriend! 😡 AHAHA so you decide to ask him about his lovely girlfriend and he gets the softest smile on his face omggg and he starts going on about how hardworking you are ❤️, determined 💘, beautiful 💖, how nice you smell 😳

when you tell him its you he doesn’t believe you!!! like stop u r trying too hard, stranger!!! 😠 It’s not until you bring up a photo of yourselves and stick it next to your face does he go all soft again like babe i missed you 🥺 there was this weirdo trying to flirt with me, i’m so glad you’re here 🥰 and you tell him that the weirdo was you and he’s like “no, you’re better than that” LMFAAOO THANKS HAJIME 😭

matsukawa his mom is there to pick the two of you up and he’s holding your hand as he turns to you, super concerned and goes “babe, we forgot my teeth 😞” HWJJCKWJSJEF 💀 he’s all pouty and its sooooooo cute LMFAO WHAT DID HE THINK A REMOVAL WAS??? but you play it cool and squeeze his hand and say “i didnt forget you though 😊” he nods like a little kid and says “yeah” and tries to pull you into his lap so that you can cuddle but his mom is right there and you’re tryna be a good passenger and stop him from unbuckling your seatbelt: issei, we can cuddle when we get home!!!!

this giant dude just looks at you all 🥺 and BEGS like “babe please, just a little, i just want to hold you 🥺💕” he tries to guilt trip you like “c’mon, babe, you forgot my teeth” 😭😭😭 STFU u somehow make it back to his place and he tackles you into the couch and promptly falls asleep in 2 minutes flat 😴 his mom thinks its hilarious and thanks u for taking care of him ☺️❤️

hanamaki straight up asks you if you have a boyfriend. you say yes and he gets REALLY SAD OH MY GOD and is all “oh ☹️🥺” but then you cup his cheek and hold one of his hands and start telling him what your boyfriend looks like and how he has cute strawberry hair and pretty eyes and how handsome he is and talking about his cute little eyebrows and how good he is at volleyball and takahiro is like…. 🧐🤨 is that…… me??? but then he’s like wait it couldn’t be and gets all sad again 😭

you can’t take how sad he is and tell him it’s him!!!!! you give him some kisses as an apology 😭🥺💖❤️ and he’s all really?!!? 🥰💖💕💝🥳💕as he pulls you close to rest his head on your chest. he asks you to talk about how much you love him again 😭🥰🥺 refuses to remove himself from you

kyoutani he’s got this super angry expression on his face and everyone stays a good ways away from him 😬 when you come in, you get the same 😡 but then he chills because you’re wearing that one dress he went out of his way to buy for you when you were window shopping together that one time and he’s like …..suspicious why is she wearing her dress 😒 HAJFKAKSW KENTAROU

but THEN he sees the bracelet he got you for your one year anniversary and takes a whiff of you (um 😷) and NOW he’s all WAIT…… connections r being made—he gets super handsy 😳💕 really likes it when you kiss his forehead 🥺 and glares daggers at the dentist with his head on your chest, arms around your waist as you stand next to him and listen to what the aftercare instructions are because he’s all like grrr my girlfriend!! no touch!!! 😡🤬

daichi omg daichi is SO SHY and BASHFUL like he looks at you all 🥺🥰 and when you look towards him he immediately looks away but it’s so obvious because his ears are red and you can see his blush high on his cheekbones 😭🥺💕 you ask him what’s wrong and he’s stuttering trying to ask if you have a boyfriend and you’re like yes 💔

his face FALLS and it hurts but then you show him your matching engagement rings 💍 like “we’re fiancés, dai 🥰❤️” and he almost cries as hard as when he heard you say yes 😭💖💕 he’s so EMBARRASSED when you show the video back to him 😭 suga and asahi clown him 🤧

sugawara fella wakes up, looks you in the eye and is like “they’ve rebuilt me, babe✨” what? “the technology!!!” ??? “they made me better than i was before: better, stronger, faster 🤖💪🧠" LMFAO thinks he underwent some experiment like no we just fixed your teeth 😌

when you tell him so he gets a little dejected and asks you if you’d still love him without any upgrades with his lips pursed and his cheeks pink as he plays with your hands 🥺💗 like OFC KOUSHI!!! 🥰🥺❤️ really sweet and giggly on the bus ride home—holds you close and draws circles on your skin as he talks about the strangest things 🙈💖

kageyama no inhibitions so tobio is very attached to you!!! when he wakes up to see you next to him, he grabs you in his half-asleep state to leave slobbery kisses all over you like some dog before he falls back asleep again 💀 he wakes up twenty minutes later to see that you’re gone (had to wash off his spit 😬) and he panics when he doesn’t see you 😭🥺

he gets up to try to look for you and the second you come back, he hugs you and is all ☹️ telling you “don’t go too far, i wanna always be able to find you 😠🥺” you rub his back and pinky promise to stay close by and he’s so relieved he falls asleep standing 😴💕 like …..thanks 🤧 asks if he can play volleyball and pouts rlly hard when the dentist says no 😭💔

atsumu atsumu is loopy af and he wanted to go to the washroom so the poor staff had to hull around this 6’2”, 80kg man around but then you walk in just as they’re about to turn the corner and the moment he sees you, he’s goes “BABIEEEEE, I loOoove yoU! 😍” in this super adorable, high pitched sing-songy voice and makes OBNOXIOUS kissy faces at you but it looks so funny because his mouth is full of cotton 😭😭🤧🥴 the nurses tell you he’s a keeper but then he promptly slips and nearly falls on his face trying to walk over to you unassisted 🙄

the walk to the car is SO HARD because he clings to you like a baby koala and whines when you try to get him to loosen up so that you can get better leverage to support his weight like atsumu pls we’re almost there, just let go for a bit and he’s all puppy eyed like “don’t 🥺 ya 🥺 love 🥺 me 🥺 baby???????? i jus’ wanna be close to ya 💔💔💔” JAJCJJWNCMS he denies all of it when he sobers up

osamu all this fool remembers is that he has a girlfriend and that she looks EXACTLY like you but his brain synapses aren’t working like they used to 😔 so he doesn’t remember that YOU are literally his girlfriend so he just sits there and goes all “you look so much like her….. i miss her sm 😢🤕😞” with this faraway look in his eyes AS IF YOU WERE DEAD 💀 THE DISRESPECT

he rlly wants to hold your hand and touch you but like u aren’t his girlfriend right??? but you tell him u are after rolling ur eyes and show him some photos of the two of you as proof and he’s all “oh!” 😳 and he smiles so broad you can see his little dimple on his left cheek 😭💖 because he can FINALLY hold your hand 🥰 no filter so he whisper-begs for kisses throughout the entire time the dentist talks you through his surgery and how to care for him and you’re so embarrassed JAJCJKAKDSS “pls, pls can i have a kiss” you give him one “can i have one here now” “what about here” “pls another one pls” 🥺🥺🥺 at least he’s polite JAJCNKAFB

suna rin remembers you and right when he wakes up to see you next to him he says, “hello, wife 💖" and waits for your response but like wtf do u SAY like you’ve only ever heard him tell you he loves you that ONE time he thought u were ASLEEP!!! and you haven’t even talked about anything beyond dating yet!!! is it the anaesthetic that’s making him say this or is he just fooling you??? 💀😵 a few minutes later, he sighs and goes “you’re supposed to say ‘hello, husband ❤️’….” 🙄🥱

show him the video after the anaesthetic wears off and he’ll sit there looking at you like “….well? i’m still waiting? 😐” ugH modern romance am i right HAHDJKAKSKAA

ushijima wakatoshi thinks you’re another nurse even though you’re dressed nothing like them and he asks you when his girlfriend is coming and if she knows he’s done with the procedure and also “have you met my girlfriend? she is very beautiful and very kind. you must meet her ☺️” he asks the same questions to the dentist who comes in to talk to you afterwards and they’re looking at him like ?????? “isn’t this your girlfriend, ushijima-san?”

wakatoshi just goes 😯, looks at you and says your name so softly and in the sweetest way possible and tells you he missed you and he loves you and he wants to go get curry from that one restaurant later and the dentist tells you they’ll be back later as you sob 😭😭❤️💕❤️😭💖

semi eita thinks you’re one of the office receptionists when you walk in and asks you if you, his girlfriend 💕, had been notified that the procedure was done and you’re all uh yes she does, she’s coming soon!! he nods very cutely and thanks you, handsome smile on his face at the thought of seeing you 🥰 he turns around to look at the window and you just stand there all 😶 he HUMS softly as he waits and it’s that one song he played for you on his guitar HAJXNJSW 😭🥺💘❤️

he turns back around thirty seconds later like “babe?? is that you?? you got here so fast 😍🥺💖😚” as if it wasn’t you THE WHOLE TIME 💀 melts when you kiss his cheeks tenderly 🥰 plays with your fingers as he softly looks into your eyes!! 😍

tendou really wants to get his wisdom teeth back like just because you pulled them out doesn’t make them yours, sensei 🙄 LMFAO the dentist gives him his teeth afterwards and he holds them out for you and you’re like “tysm for your bloody, gross teeth, satori 🥰😬” “AWWW you’re welcome 😊 aren’t they cute? ya think our kids will be this cute? 💖”

many thoughts: 1) oh god oh GOD he wants to have KIDS WITH YOU!! MARRIAGE??!? 😵❤️ 2) y does he think his molars r cute and y does he hope your kids will look like nasty teeth 😭💀 he’s rlly adamant about you lazing around with him. keeps showing u his teeth for some reason but gives the cutest smiles and hums when you feed him his fav chocolate ice cream 💗💗💗

goshiki he tries to flirt with you but its so funny and endearingly awkward because he’s got all the gauze in his mouth and he isn’t that good at it and he’s on the verge of tears half the time and you dont know why??? you ask him and his brows are all furrowed, pout on his lips and says “just wanna be your boyfriend pls 🥺💕” “yeah?” “yeah,” he nods. “i promise to do my best 🥺”

when you tell him you’re already dating, he starts to cry and is all like i have to tell all my friends 😭 tsutomu cries to the dentist like “sensei, y’know, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend 😭❤️” he quiets down when you brush through his hair with your hands ☺️

terushima you walk into his room after he’s done and ask the dental hygienists how he’s doing and he looks at you all confused like 🤨 and asks the hygienists who you are. they think you’re married for some reason and say “that’s your wife!” and you’re so EMBARRASSED but also super happy on the inside HAHA he straight up goes “DAAAMMNNN, I did alright, huh?! when we bustin’ outta here?!” 🤪😜🥴😘 as if he could actually differentiate between left and right, up and down 😔

just in case, he asks you if you’re his wife at the same time the dentist asks if the two of you will be okay from here on out and you nod to the dentist’s question but yuuji thinks it’s for him so he lays back down with this satisfied look on his face like HELL YEAH alright, alright, alright 😌🥰🥴 and does those little nods SIDJAJJDJSJFJR HAHAHAHA

sakusa omi lets you play with his bangs and hands as you wait for the dentist and he LOVES IT softest smile on his face!! RIDICULOUSLY CLINGY!!!! he does NOT want you to leave him at all, will not let you go to the bathroom even though you’re like “omi, please, the dentist is busy with another patient right now, i’ll be back soon before we go through the aftercare stuff” “no” “omi, i have to pee” “do it here” and now it’s you who’s all 🤢

gets really defensive and protective when the dentist comes in and just shoves his head in your chest because he doesn’t want to look at them LMFAO death grip around your waist 🤧 when you show him what he said about you going to the bathroom he demands you delete it “omi, i didn’t know u loved me that much 🥰🥺💕” “…………..🤐”

hoshiumi kourai insisted he was fine on his own “nothing is impossible for hoshiumi kourai, national athlete 😤” when the dentist asked if he needed someone to watch over him and the dentist is 🤨 ok sir and leaves after he falls asleep. when he wakes up, no one’s in his room and he has to use the washroom and he’s like i’ll do just it myself 🙄 he tries to stand and promptly collapses to the floor. he CRAWLS around on his stomach and makes it out of his room just as you walk in and you’re like KOU whY are you on the FLOOR like a ROACH 😭😭😭

it’s like you’re reenacting some dramatic romance movie as kou groans around the gauze and makes poor attempts to stand up, holding onto you LAKDSHLASKAHD 💀💀💀 asks you to get on the floor with him because he honest to god can’t get UP so that he can cuddle with you as the dentist and his assistants stand two feet away 🥰💕 tries to fight the staff when they get too close to you trying to help him get back to his bed HAJJFKAKDMAD

extra: kita shinsuke (lol) when kita finishes his wisdom tooth extraction, he looks at you like this and doesnt remember who you are; he thinks you’re here for another patient and doesn’t say a word to you because his grandma taught him not to talk to strangers.

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bush-viper-cutie · 3 years

Text

New Student, New Friend

Pairing: Young Snape x french!reader

Word Count: 2,751

Request: #1 “Hi! Can I request a young!Snape x french!reader where the reader's transferred from beauxbatons and isn't fluent in english/has a thick accent? Love your work!!”

#2 “Hi hi! Love your work! Can I request Young Snape x French reader? Sorry if I dont speak well, english is not my first language <3”

Warnings: none

A/N: Hello everyone again! :D I combined both requests because they are pretty similar so enjoy!

Posted: 9/10/21

Masterlist

---

~*~*~ = time skip

(Y/n) = first name

(L/n) = last name

~*~*~

~*~*~ = POV change

---

~*~*~*~*~ *~

There was a strange static in the air this morning, one Severus couldn't quite place. He brushed his long hair back behind his ear and listened in to the hushed whispers of passing classmates.

"...Beauxbaton, can you believe it?"

"Nice to not know someone for a change - "

Beauxbaton? Severus gathered they were talking about a new teacher perhaps? Although it wasn't that odd to get new professors in the middle of the school year. Just last year the Dark Arts professor was promptly replaced when he went mad after a spell backfired on him; In fact, every year there was a new one.

It was strange that the new teacher should be a transfer from another school such as Beauxbaton... Maybe they were fired and no one else wanted them, must be down on their luck. And if that is the case, how very fitting for Hogwarts, home of inadequacy.

Severus, still deep in his bitter thoughts, almost tripped over the shoe that had extended out in front of him. He caught himself and whirled around angrily. "Watch it!" he growled, straightening.

James Potter smirked. "Oh, Snivellus. Didn't see you there.” His Gryffindor friends snickered behind him, bolstering his ego. "I'd get along to class if I were you. Wouldn't want to be late on your first day back."

Severus grit his teeth and did everything he could to not growl his displeasure of being in so close proximity to the pinnacle of mediocrity that was Potter. It had been a week after winter holidays had ended but after another nearly fatal encounter with Black, he’d been forced to stay in the Hospital Wing un-zippering his mouth and a couple of fingers before being allowed back.

The memory of the experience made his knees weak, making keeping his riled demeanor that much harder. He was lucky he'd had the foresight to cover his nose before Black unleashed his hex. It wasn’t a quick run from the lake to the nurse, and he certainly wouldn't have made it with his nostrils zippered together as well.

"Mind your own business, Potter." Severus spat out his name like rotten apples, furrowing his brows in an attempt to seem more threatening however he could not help but notice the hallways getting emptier by the second. He knew better than to get caught alone with Potter.

He laughed and turned to catch up with his friends. Severus watched him go, only relaxing his shoulders after Potter had rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight. The hall was empty.

He turned and continued down the corridor when his hearing perked at the scuff of loud footsteps. He whirled around, hand plunging into his robes, but it was too late.

"Levipeds!"

Severus' head snapped back as his feet whipped out from under him. He hung limp in the air, watching his wand roll away on the stone floor. His hair nearly touched the dirty ground.

James laughed. "Welcome back, Snivellus!"

He closed his eyes as his boiling blood rushed to his head. He was hanging upside down in the air, alone in the empty corridor. He couldn't scream for help, he'd just get yelled at for disturbing lessons, and he couldn't reach his wand - as long as his limbs might be, his wand might as well have rolled down into the dungeons. He'd have to hang there until classes were over or one of the portraits decided to help him out for once.

"Eh... Excuse moi?" A quiet voice wrapped in a thick French accent broke the silence.

His eyes flew open and stared straight into the face of a beautiful but completely unfamiliar student. She bent down low to meet his eyes. She must be the mystery person from Beauxbaton, the new student as it turned out.

This was worse, so much worse than being caught by anyone else in the school - except for a very select few. Severus looked around in search of anything that might make this all less embarrassing.

"You need help, no?" Her voice was more confident this time, laced with a hint of friendly amusement.

"Uhh..." He met her eyes and hoped this new student would excuse his red face to be due to all his blood rushing down.

She straightened and pointed behind him. "This is your wand? I'll give to you?" His wand was in his hand with one quick flick of her own.

His eyebrows automatically shot up at her use of nonverbal spells. "Thanks," he tried swallowing but ended up coughing. He covered his mouth and performed the counter-hex, dropping to the floor with a grunt.

She rushed forward, looping her arm through his and helping him up to his feet. She laughed and dusted the dirt off his back while he stood paralyzed.

"Better, no?" she smiled, facing him a foot from his stiff figure. "I'm new seventh-year transfer... And you?"

For a moment his mouth opened but no words flew out, and then all at once words poured out as fast as if under a curse. "I'm - oh - yes you're from Beauxbaton, right? Yeah - er - yes, seventh-year as well."

Her hands flew up and she waved them in front of herself with a laugh. "Slow please!" she laughed again. "One more time?"

Severus gave an awkward laugh that matched hers and nodded. "I'm also a seventh-year."

"Oh!" she held out a paper and pointed down to the class he was late for. "I am so lost! You help me now? Oui?"

She smiled up at him and his heart nearly leaped out of his mouth. He nodded quickly, "Yes - er - oui, I'll help you... Actually, that's my class too..."

"Oh!" Her smile widened, "I need partner for the class! You have one?"

For once Severus thanked his unlucky past self. His time in the hospital wing all week meant everyone would be already partnered up. "No, I don't..." his face flushed red again and he cleared his throat, looking away. "We could be partners?"

"Bon! Lead the way, partner," she motioned for him to lead, keeping a very close pace next to him as they walked. "I am lucky to find you, did not know anyone yet. You are only third person met!"

He gave her a small smile as they walked together, but he knew it wouldn't take long for her to find out his status at the school. Being a new student, he was sure she’d make all the friends she could ever want by the end of the day. Then she'd reconsider her luck after everyone tells her all about her lab partner, 'Snivellus'.

~*~*~

They made it to class late. The professor looked up and frowned, ready to tell them off when Severus' new ‘friend’ spoke up.

"Excuse us, Professor, I am new and got lost."

The professor sighed and waved his hand, giving her a pass. "And I see you're back Mr. Snape. Get to your seats, you'll both be working together - get moving."

The two back seats were empty and Severus was glad to be away from the front for once. His new partner set down her things, and as she bent to pick up her books Severus caught a glimpse of Sirius Black glaring at him from the front, a seat behind where Severus had been sitting the last term. Black had anticipated his return and was obviously annoyed with the change in seating.

"What may I call you, Mr. Snape?" The new student whispered, giving him her full attention despite the lesson continuing.

"S-Severus." He looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to him. He'd die of embarrassment if they started teasing him in front of her for daring to open his mouth. "And you?"

She smiled. "Severus Snape? That's a beautiful name." She looked back up to make sure their conversation was still private and turned back. She reached up and gripped his tie, pulling him towards her. She leaned and held a hand to his ear, moving her lips inches from his ear. "(Y/n) (L/n)."

Severus’ heart beat faster than it ever had before. The immense drumming in his ears almost made it impossible to hear her whispers. When she released him, he turned to look at her, feeling his face heat up either from proximity or from her warm breath flowing over his face. "(Y/n)... Good to know." He swallowed and realized he had not moved since she had pulled him towards her. He would have felt like an idiot if she wasn’t looking at him so playfully.

"You gonna kiss her, Snivellus?"

Severus pulled back quickly and clenched his jaw at Black.

The professor smacked Sirius' head with a roll of parchment. "Mr. Black, disturb my class again and I'll assign you an essay for every night this week." Severus smirked. "And you, Mr. Snape," the Professor smacked the board, creating a puff of chalk, "- will hand me your notes tomorrow before class - legible notes, might I add."

Severus nodded as the class snickered and turned away from (Y/n). The rest of the lesson went by agonizingly slow. Severus counted the seconds until he could run away to the library, away from taunting eyes. He hated himself for turning so red, but he hated Black even more for making him the fool.

~*~*~

You could tell the boy, 'Mr. Black', had embarrassed Severus greatly. He was hunched over his parchment, focused completely on the professor's words, and never once looking back up at you.

You read the words on the board but soon your eyes ventured down to look at the tall lanky boy currently trying to visibly shrink in his seat. The moment shared between you both still played on your mind. He had beautiful long lashes and deep dark eyes to match. It had been fun to see him so flustered over you, but the guilt of what you'd caused sat heavily on your chest. That boy had noted Severus had been in the perfect position to kiss her, which... did she kind of wish he had?... Just to see - for just a curious taste.

You didn't know what specifically was so alluring about Severus, but you could imagine yourself wrapped in his arms, pulling on his long hair, biting his lips, and hearing that deep voice of his purring for more. Something about him - or maybe everything about him - made you wonder how gentle those hands of his could be.

The bells rang in the distance, marking the end of the lesson. You packed your things and sat waiting for Severus to do the same. He was slow at first and then after a quick flick of his eyes up to you hurried along.

You stood at the same time and motioned for the door, scrambling to translate your thoughts into English. "Lunch now? We can sit together?"

People filed out of the class, which Severus watched closely before turning back to her and answering. "Look, this isn't the only time… I'm not someone to hang out with unless you like hexes and spells to be thrown in your direction."

You could see the hurt in his eyes, the way his brows furrowed, and his down-turned eyes filled with tears that wouldn't fall. Before you could bring yourself to respond, he sighed shakily, giving you pause.

"It's not your fault... I'll show you down and then I suggest you forget about being friends." He pulled open the door and held it open for you without meeting your eyes.

What could you say to him? You stepped out into the corridor, contemplating how to phrase what you were thinking when laughter pulled your focus.

"I see you've met our Snivellus." The stupid boy, Black, came forward talking to you but keeping his attention on Severus. He had long curly hair nearly as long as Severus' and was taller, with proud shoulders held in a loose demeanor that still made him seem important in some way. His eyes shifted to you, "Hope he didn't drip any snot on you while he tried for a kiss."

You scoffed, “You do not understand what you saw. Please leave us alone.”

“Love, maybe you’re not understanding me. For your own safety I insist YOU leave this sniffling slime alone.” Black took a step closer.

Severus pulled out his wand but held it low, at the ready in an instant. "I’m done with your games. Unlike you, you nitwitted tower troll, I have places to be." He finally glanced your way, "Excuse me," and made to leave.

Black blocked his way, laughing at the now pointed wand in Severus’ hand. "Go ahead, I’ll be glad if you finally get expelled for using wands in the corridors. Mine's not even on me."

You eyed the smirk on his face and the tiny shift of his hand towards his trousers pocket. Was that a lie then? Whatever the case, you had enough of this game too. "My friend, Severus, is showing me to lunch. We are going now." You stepped between Severus and Black, giving the taller boy an annoyed look.

"I’m telling you, be careful," Black chuckled. "He might try to kiss you again if you’re too nice."

You paused and stepped back, looking up at Severus, whose eyes were fixed on Black, staring daggers into him. You bit your lip and chuckled the same way Black had, finding a different kind of amusement than him in this situation. "I hope he will."

Severus' head snapped to you, his cheeks slowly going a light shade of pink all over.

Black made a disgusted sound and a show of his fake nausea. “Darling, I don’t think I understood you correctly. Check your dictionary and if that’s not the problem maybe your eyes.”

This boy was really getting on your nerves now. If you’d been back at Beauxbaton you’d’ve already hexed him into a soggy pile of starter yeast, baked him into the perfect Pain au Levain, and chucked him out the tallest tower window. “Move it,” you made sure your French accent coated the word heavily.

Severus’ hand wrapped around your arm, pulling you back. He kept his wand and eyes trained on Black but spoke to you. “Go down to lunch. I’ll stay here to have the chat Black so desperately wants to have with me.” He looked up again, “Let her leave.”

Black smiled, “That’s fine. Been meaning to ask how your winter holiday was after I last saw you.”

You turned to Severus, ready to protest when the door to the classroom opened, cutting Black off. You all stood very still and awkward, hoping to hide the atmospheric hostility that had been created.

The Professor locked the door with a flick of his wand and looked at everyone with concern. "Off to lunch, no need wandering the corridors. Now." He ushered everyone down the stairs, walking close behind in equal silence.

You reached the floor second to last, after Black and then Severus, and pulled on Severus' arm the second your Professor had turned towards the staff room. You kept your hand on him to make sure he didn’t decide to leave before you could talk to him. Before Black could step towards you to continue the ‘conversation’, other Gryffindor students pulled him towards a small crowd gathering across the floor. Whatever it was seemed to be of higher interest and he left with only single backwards glance.

You both watched him go dissolve into the rowdy group and suddenly the air around you shifted. Severus turned instantly, searching your eyes with an intensity you could almost feel. You blushed and slid your hand down his sleeve and lingered on his bare hand. Neither of you said a word but the electricity connecting your eyes and the comfortable silence that enveloped you both spoke volumes. "We could eat together, no?"

His eyes settled on your hand still on his until you let go. "Oui," he whispered with a smile pulling at his lips. “Lunch then.”

As you both walked on, he slowly crept closer with every step, making your shoulders brush against his arm. His pinky tickled the skin on your wrist, making you cough to hide a giggle as you entered the Great Hall. Your eyes flickered up at his and you smiled, seeing a gentle blush and an even gentler smile on his face.

~*~*~*~*~ *~

Masterlist

—-

General taglist:

@setsuna-meiou31

@severuslovebot

@bionic-otp

—–

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miraculouscontent · 2 years

Note

We're four seasons in and Lukanette has literally had more progression and we'll-paced development than the so called "endgame" of this show. Like, c'mon, the love square is one-sided and everyone knows that sadrien will never develop feelings for Marinette unless he finds out she's Ladybug. He was never interested in her, and she was never interested in Chat Noir.

Also, I'm pretty sure Lukanette is way healthier than the love square. They talk their feelings out and they have a very good dynamic. Meanwhile, sadrien keeps guilt tripping Marinette as both her civilian self and Ladybug. Yeah, I think Glaciator's "oh, so you didn't go on a date with me and I'm mad that you're playing with my feelings even though you never said yes to me. so now I'm going to stop helping you save Paris because you won't apologise to me, cause you won't be able to defeat this villain on your own so you'll have no choice but to cater to my feelings." is a very prominent example.

Remember the one time he found out her identity (in a, quite frankly, extremely far-fetched and desperate jump to conclusions) and he lied to her instead of telling her the truth? He did that just to date her. He knows that she values honesty and hates liars, and he lied to her (that's not even the first time either, remember that time he lied about their relationship? yeah, the couple of the year thing never would've escalated so far if he'd just STOPPED and respected her feelings).

Like, that's not to mention the number of times the cat took threw tantrums whenever things didn't go his way. Threatening to abandon Paris while it was flooding? Sure, he's such a good partner. Distracting his partner and not taking their battles seriously in an effort to flirt with her? Wow, that's so romantic. Nearly cataclysming Scarabella and actually causing property damage because 'oh, he's sad'? He's such a good hero. Learning that his partner is actually annoyed at him because of his romantic advances and not even giving her a proper apology? That's fine, because he knows that she'll fall in love with him eventually and forget all about it!

And let's not forget how forced this ship is. Literally everyone tries to get them together. Alya is the main instigator for this, and she keeps trying to push them both into situations that usually end up with the blonde personification of an idiot being stupidly oblivious and Marinette being left embarrassed and humiliated. Heck, the whole of Paris is trying to force Ladynoir together even though Ladybug clearly stated that she isn't interested in him! They're the heroes of Paris, and the people they save can't even be bothered to respect their privacy and their boundaries? Even if they were in a relationship, they could be, you know, keeping it a secret in case Hawkmoth tries to take advantage of their feelings? Most of the adults in the show are literally shipping children together and getting mad that Ladybug actually knows how to say no. Like, seriously? this ship keeps feeling more and more forced each episode.

Whenever I see these scenes my already negative opinion on the love square and in sadrien in general is reduced to rubble. Like, this show coddles sadrien so much to the point where it's getting extremely frustrating. But I'm kind of sensing a trend here: rich, privileged white boy gets everything he wants. And yes, that does sound very familiar.

Hey, remember when Chat “””apologized””” in “Glaciator 2″ only to then go right back to wanting to get Ladybug to love him at the end of the episode? And then literally one episode later in production code order (”Hack-San”), he guilted her into promising to never abandon him?

That’s the love square in a nutshell; everything is stacked in Adrien’s favor and weighed against Marinette in every single way to put her agency in a choke hold. Ladybug has known and felt guilty over Chat’s feelings for two+ seasons now, Paris ships them no matter what she says and Glaciator mocks her when she tries to correct things, and meanwhile you have Adrien blissfully unaware of Marinette’s crush so he doesn’t have to think a thing about it.

According to the show, the problem in LadyNoir is Ladybug not wanting it (because everyone else wants it!!) and the problem in Adrienette is Marinette because she “just can’t seem to confess” (because she’s getting help from everyone else so it’s clearly only her fault if she’s hesitating).

How do the writers keep making love square episodes that just end up being an itemized list of why it’s awful?? Like--really, how??????

#category: salt #episode: Ephemeral #salt: love square #other: ask and answer

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tbznewberry · 2 years

Text

I know you're a yandere | Kim Seokjin

After reading countess yandere content, you should know what a yandere acts like. When you get your own, how would it go to confront him about his behaviour, saying that you know what he is?

Genre: yandere

Warning: toxic relationship, manipulation, guilt tripping, gas lightening (?)

Part 2

What do they call someone like her? An … expert? Well read? Educated? Insane? Whatever the proper title is, she is it. She knows everything about them. In her teenage days, she found herself in every forum possible, reading yandere until late at night. And over time, she understood the pattern of one. In the stories, the yandere could be anything from dominant to submissive, aggressive to calm, manipulative to clear headed, some always worse than others. She never found herself wanting one, knowing how dangerous it was. Some partners in the stories never made it out alive. It was as toxic as it could be. But reading about them was safe because she'd never be one of the poor people trapped in their claws.

Cue four years later and here she is, finding herself in one of those relationships she promised herself never to get into. Because yanderes didn't actually exist, right? They were only fictional characters to make a story? But Jin fits all the criterias … he's over protective, paranoid, manipulative, selfish and obsessed.

Should I talk to him? she thinks one night after he's fallen asleep, his arms laying around her in a loose manner. She's sitting up in the bed while he's almost sleeping on her legs. Or will that make it worse? But if I confront him about it, maybe he'll be sorry and let me leave?

She thinks that he keeps on doing all of this because he thinks he can get away with it — that she doesn't know anything. He's wrong. Tomorrow, she tells herself, tomorrow she'll put all cards on the table and they'll come to a solution. It better end with her packing her bags and leaving.

—♤—

The very next morning, Y/N makes him breakfast as a way to soften him up for the confrontation and surprises him on the bed with the silver tray.

"Oh, my love, how nice of you!" Jin smiles and pulls himself up in a sitting position.

She looks at him, trying to understand. He's a beautiful man, a great business man …. why is he such a bad boyfriend? He uses his manipulative tactics for much, both work and social life. That's why everything in his life goes exactly as he want it.

"You're staring at me", he smiles and takes a hold of the coffee cup.

"Sorry, I zoned out", Y/N admits, shaking her head to regain the right thoughts.

Jin smile widens slightly, probably believing that she was dreaming about him. She lets him eat in silence.

"We need to talk", she says as he drinks the last sips of the coffee.

"About what?" Jin asks, brows now furrowed, voice irritatingly innocent. "Has something happened?"

There he goes again. He knows exactly what's going on.

Y/N tries to shake off the irritation. Anger won't lead to freedom. To outsmart Jin, she has to be tactical.

"I'll go straight to the point", she says. "You're a yandere."

"I'm a what?" Jin chuckles.

"A yandere."

She doesn't change tone, even though he laughed at it. She has to stay serious and be in control.

"Do you know what that is, Jin?" she asks.

"No, I don't. Is it something of your made up words again?"

"No, it's not."

Don't lose it. Stay calm.

He looks blank.

"I'll Google up the definition", Y/N says and pulls up the computer from beneath the bed. It only takes her a minute before she gives it to him. "Here. Read this."

"Y/N, come on, stop this. I need to go to work-"

He starts to stand up but she catches his arms.

"Please read, that's all I'm asking from you", she says before she can stop herself.

You weren't supposed to do that! Now you're showing yourself as weak again! He'll use it to his advantage. Again.

She can see that he wants to protest, but in the end gives up and reads through it. She van feel her heart beat qui ker as she waits in the thick silence. Why is he taking such a long time?

"I don't understand", he says and runs his hand through his black hair. "You mean that I'm like this? Like what it says on the screen?"

"Yes", she sighs. "Listen, I know how they act! I used to spend way too many hours reading these kinds of-"

"Do you hear yourself, Y/N? You've read too many of these things that you start to believe it for real. I don't care what you were into before, but don't try to paint me as some kind of bad person!"

"But-"

"Keep this up and I'll call your job and tell them you're taking time off. You're clearly not sane."

"No, please …"

The tears start to run down her cheeks. He's doing it again. He saw where the weakness in her brick wall was and is now pulling the stone out, making the entire wall fall. This did ot turn out how she wanted it to be. Her shoulders are shaking with sobs.

"P-Please, just listen to me!" she begs, trying to wipe her tears.

She can feel her hope slipping away. Jin's warm hand wipes her tears, caressing her cheek lovingly.

"You're overworked, my love", he says softly. "Why don't you take a break off of work anyway? And stay home with me? I'll work from home. If you spend more time with me you will see that everything is just in your head. Where did you get this ridiculous idea from in the first place? Your coworkers? I've never liked them. Maybe I need to have a little talk with them ..."

She lets out a new sob. He's closing all ways out for her so she'll never be able to leave. And she can't do anything about it. He's too strong, too smart.

"I have to go to work now, my love", he says and caresses her cheeks again. "Stay home today and rest. We'll talk more about this tonight."

He disappears out through the door and she can hear a faint 'click' behind him and she knows all too well what that is. When she's sure he's gone, she lets herself break into tears again.

[A/N: I've often wondered how this scenario would play out and decided to write it. Didn't go well, did it?]

#kpop yandere #yandere kpop #bts yandere #bts jin yandere #bts jin #yandere

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pigeonp0st · 3 years

Note

you did NOT say “hey send more wanda requests!” but here i am... sending you one jejeje :) how about cute fluffy red eyed jealous wanda? she just wants to hang with reader but EVERY! AVENGER! ALSO! DOES!

Wanda Maximoff x Reader #2

Words: 1,970

Warnings: Jealousy, Cursing

Notes:

Thank you for requesting, and by the way: I appreciate all of the Wanda requests so...hey! Send more Wanda requests. Oh, and this was written during a writers block so it’s not the best but I hope it’s good enough ;( Sorry for spelling mistakes.

————

There are moments during Wanda’s life where she is jealous, believe it or not. No, it doesn’t happen very often anymore; because really she has nothing to long for that she doesn’t already have.

But it happens… So despite her unwillingness to admit it, she’s currently experiencing one of her not so often bouts of jealousy—and it feels like such an ugly word, but it’s how she feels because everyone really just loves you, and she just wants you for herself.

and yeah, okay, someone could make the argument that she ‘has’ you already, and she feels that way, but she knows she doesn’t. Logically.

You could completely decide that you don’t want to be with her anymore, Wanda knows, and if that were something you wanted she wouldn’t even think about stopping you.

She’s not that type of jealous though. She’s not concerned you’ll leave her for someone else, despite how close you and Steve get while you’re discussing something, and despite how many times you fall asleep with Thor on the couch, despite how many times Tony seems to be looking for you, she doesn’t necessarily care about any of it.

As a matter of fact, Wanda would say that she loves the way everyone loves you. She loves how close you are with them...she just wishes it didn’t have to mean so little time for her.

So she’ll train with Clint and watch from the corner of her eye as you train with Natasha, and she’s not jealous about the way that you laugh with her, or the way that she smiles at you, or the way that Natasha pulls you until your faces are inches— okay she really didn’t need to fucking pull you so close-

“Y/N,” Wanda calls, absentmindedly throwing Clint into the cushioned wall with her powers. You don’t pay attention to her, much to Wanda’s dismay, instead you smirk at Natasha and she smirks at you— and really Wanda’s about a second away from throwing Natasha into the wall too— but then Nat headbutts you with just enough force that you’re winded by it, and completely and utterly finishes the fight.

Wanda stops her advancements towards you and starts clapping her hands, feeling utterly ridiculous but hiding it well.

From the way Natasha tilts her head at her perhaps she isn’t hiding it well enough.

You still don’t turn around to notice her though because now you’re locked into conversation with Bruce. And Okay.

She’s able to admit to herself now, that yeah, sometimes her jealousy comes from fear rather than want, but it’s only because anyone would feel threatened by Natasha.

She is also able to admit to herself that this is...harder for her than she previously thought.

————

This continues for a while longer. Wanda looks at you hanging out with the others, tries to get your intention, and gets utterly ignored.

She knows you aren’t doing it on purpose, but it hurts enough that whenever you, or the person you’re hanging out with ignore her she sighs and completely leaves the room.

She waits for you to look for her like she looks for you, she waits for you to be alone, but you never do, and you never are.

It hurts in a way it probably shouldn’t.

———-

Wanda has been pouty lately.

When you ask about it she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest like a disobedient five year old. It’s both amusing and concerning.

Concerning because she’s obviously upset about something, and amusing because she has the cutest pout, and the most dramatic flair about her.

You won’t be dropping this though. “Wan Wan-”

“Okay,” Wanda grimances immediately, “please never call me that again.” She looks horrified when she says it, and your amusement only goes up. Until you see the red glow in her eyes and remember that her powers have been showing the whole day.

This can’t go on.

“Wanda, did I do something wrong?” You ask, clearing your throat in an attempt to start the conversation over.

Wanda momentarily stops glaring at the table so she can glance at you. When she does she seems to sag into her seat at the worried look on your face. This isn’t your fault, she reminds herself, angry that she let her own stupidity affect you. “No,” Wanda sighs, her jaw clenching and unclenching. “No, draga, you haven’t.”

Darling, you remember. That’s what ‘draga’ means. Despite circumstances the term of endearment fills you with butterflies. “Then what’s wrong?”

This time when you ask Wanda answers, looking sheepish and guilty. “I...Y/N I want to spend time with you. Is that…” she pauses, feeling frustrated beyond belief, “is that okay?”

You’re...confused, to say the least. You don’t understand why Wanda would think it isn’t, she’s your girlfriend, you love spending time with her. You had thought that you were already spending time with her before.

“Wanda,” you stutter, eyes wide at the sudden tears in her eyes. When she tries to look away you put a hand on her cheek and force her glowing red eyes to meet yours. “Hey, hey, Wanda—baby—of course it is.”

It’s more than okay.

Wanda nods, looking just as shocked by her tears as you are. “I have no idea why i’m crying,” she says shakily, rubbing her eyes. “I don’t know why...I” Wanda pauses, letting out an angry defeated growl, “just- god, I...i’m just so frustrated.”

And she is, she really is. Wanda hadn’t realized how much this has been affecting her. She’s just angry at herself for needing you so much, and angry at the others for taking you away from her all the time, and then angry at herself again for being angry at the others just for wanting to be with you— she’s just angry. And it’s so exhausting.

But you aren’t. You’re the only thing in this life, to Wanda, that isn’t. It means everything, that’s why she needs you. Not all the time. Just sometimes at least.

You, little does Wanda know, need her around just as much, and more than that you need her to be okay, and she isn’t right now. Wanda looks so devastated and helpless, so helpless, that you’re hugging her before you can even register it, like your body moved on it’s own accord.

“Wanda,” you ask, concerned, “do you feel like i’m not already spending a lot of time with you? I mean...we sleep in the same bed.” Wanda hugs you so tightly though, that you wonder if you’ve been imagining the moments you two have spent together.

“No, no you have been,” she says sadly, and with a resignation in her voice that you don’t understand. “I guess...with all of the loss that’s surrounded me, and with the way I still try to distance myself from the others, I'm just really alone without you.”

You freeze completely, hit with an unbearable amount of sadness for the women you love.

Wanda pulls away from you when you tense, looking frantic because she worded that wrong, she hadn’t meant it to sound like she was guilt tripping you. “Obviously it’s not your responsibility to hang out with me all the time, I want you to hang out with your friends, it’s just...I mean...they do get to do stupid mundane things with you more...and I mean I want that too, but only if—”

You put a hand over her mouth, silencing her immediately. “Baby, slow down. Breathe. You’re gonna die if you don’t.”

“Okay…” you start when you realize Wanda has done what you asked and calmed down as much as she’s going to be able to right now, “no, you’re right, now that I think about it. Lately the others have been asking for me a lot and we only ever get a chance to watch a movie at night...we hardly see each other besides that.”

As you say it you’re shocked to find out how true it is. You’ve been so busy with your project with Tony, and training with Natasha, and Thor has been so sad lately that you’ve been trying to help him— and Clint with his sudden want to start cooking, and Peter with his girl problems, and—

And you hadn’t really taken a moment to realize that you miss Wanda too, you haven’t had the time to realize it while you were shuffling around the compound, but Wanda has had time. She’s had all the time in the world.

“Hey,” Wanda says when she notices the guilt on your face, “none of that.”

So you tackle her. Naturally. You tackle her because you love her, and she’s too sad. She looks too sad, she’s always too sad, and she never deserves to feel that way.

Wanda lets out a loud; ‘oof’ and falls back against the couch with you on top of her burying your face in her neck.

She doesn’t understand at all what’s going on, but she’s willing to give you what you want...until you start making weird noises.

“Rummmmm, tssssssss, weeeeeee.”

“Are you okay?” Wanda asks, legitimately concerned.

“Shhh, babe, i’m charging us up. Weeeee-”

“Okay,” Wanda laughs, pushing you off of her. When you yelp and nearly fall off the couch she catches you with her powers and gently lowers you on the ground.

You glare at her the whole way down, a humorous gleam in your eyes. “I’m trying to help babe, what the fuck.”

Wanda simply rolls her eyes at you, releasing another breathy laugh that has your features soften immediately.

“There it is,” you whisper quietly, reaching up to cup her cheek. Wanda smiles into your palm. “I’m sorry, Wanda. I’m realizing that I've missed you desperately too, so we’ll definitely have to make up for the time we weren’t together.”

“You don’t have to,” Wanda sighs, looking down.

“I want to,” you assure, because you do want to. You hadn’t noticed the ache in your heart until it was pointed out to you, but now that it has been...you just want to spend time with Wanda. But…

“But I want you to have other people as well,” you say quietly, “Do you think you could start opening up to the others? They really love you.”

Wanda studies your eyes, thinking. “I have been open with them.”

“You treat them like comrades more than family, even though they obviously love you more than that, and even though you do too.”

It’s something you’ve noticed. Wanda will protect everyone, and be there for them, and she’ll confide in them when necessary, but she’ll also avoid them, and avoid talking with them.

“Okay, I will try.”

The relief you feel at those four words is indescribable. This isn’t the first time you’ve had this conversation with Wanda, and the fact that she’s finally ready to listen fills you with joy that has you jumping back into her arms and smothering her with kisses.

“Hey,” Wanda protests, but she’s laughing, “I'll have to take it slow. Maybe i’ll start by finally coming to their movie nights”

“Sounds perfect,” you grin. And it does. Wanda hides in her room during those nights, but now she can be your game night partner. “Oh!” You yelp, jumping off her lap, “we should start training now. No one’s been able to beat Natasha at scramble but if we start training now by Friday we’ll be able to take her down.”

“I really am going to regret this,” Wanda sighs.

“It’s only two all-nighters, don’t be dramatic.”

“WHAT? I am not staying up all night.”

“We’ll see about that.” You whisper under your breath. You don’t think Wanda hears until she throws a couch pillow at your face.

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readinginthereadyroom · 3 years

Text

let’s talk about christopher and santa claus for a minute.

because the thing is. that kid is a national treasure and possibly magic. because he has santa’s ear. direct line to christmas miracles.

and the best part is. it’s canon.

but before we get to that. we need to talk about eddie being scared of santa when he was a kid. about the difference in eddie and christopher’s childhoods.

because eddie’s childhood lacked magic. santa wasn’t a right jolly old elf with a red suit and a belly laugh. just a creepy guy with a fake beard who smelled bad. a stranger he was forced to go see. that scared him so much he got sick. twice.

christopher’s childhood tho. filled with magic. when he was little and not feeling well (maybe around one of his surgeries?) and missing eddie. shannon caves. tries to cheer chris up with a giant tree for the backyard. but we didn't have enough ornaments to cover it, so we just loaded it up with lights and ribbon. I got the sleeping bags out, and we laid under it, just staring up at the branches for hours.

which is the most magical thing I’ve ever heard.

so really it’s no surprise that christopher believes in the magic of christmas. the power of santa. miracles and the christmas spirit.

because christopher only asked for one thing that christmas. one very specific gift. not toys. not candy. he just wants his dad. w-when you were gone, I asked santa for you to come back, and you did.

which makes me wonder what time of year it was when eddie’s helicopter was shot down. did he arrive home in time for the holidays? with his wrist in a cast and his arm in a sling and propped up by a cane. wounded but alive. home for the holidays. which is all that would matter to little christopher. that dad’s back. dad’s staying. forever.

and since christopher’s wish came true before. since santa came thru before. why wouldn’t it work again? because christopher’s got his dad. a new life, in a new city, with a new best friend. and everything is perfect. everything except the lack of shannon. christopher misses his mom. so he forgoes toys and candy once again. goes with eddie and buck to see santa. I asked him to find mom. will he?

the answer is yes. because she’s already back. has been for a while. eddie’s just been reluctant to let shannon see christopher. because he’s scared she’ll break his heart if she decided to leave again. because eddie doesn’t believe in magic. and I think that includes happily ever afters.

but christopher believes in magic and wishes. and eddie knows that. and he’ll do everything in his power to keep it that way. cause he loves christopher more than himself. loves that he believes in magic and miracles and santa.

because it allows eddie to believe thru christopher. just for a second. but seconds accumulate. grow. build. into something magical all eddie’s own.

so they get another giant tree. cover it in ribbons and lights. turn the floor into a wrapping paper treasure map for christopher to follow into the front yard. where shannon is waiting. mommy! mommy! I missed you so much. I knew Santa could do it again.

and then so much happens. by the time next christmas rolls around shannon has died and christopher’s survived a tsunami. and eddie has to work thru the holiday. buck too. christmas is ruined.

we don’t see chris talking about santa this year. or to santa. I think that’s probably on purpose. this year is about the absence of christmas spirit. and how that absence radiates out into their lives. chris storming away. giving eddie the silent treatment. buck saying he’s working too.

missing pieces. lack of communication. absent people.

but you cannot convince me that when the holidays go awry. that christopher won’t turn to his old pal santa to fix this particular problem. that he won’t ask for another christmas miracle. that his family can be together for the holidays. christopher and his dad and his buck. it tracks with christopher’s history.

and the thing is. santa comes thru. via buck. who plans a surpise holiday party at the 118. ropes athena and maddie into gathering their friends and family all together. throws the biggest holiday party in the history of the firefam.

and now I’m thinking the s5 holiday episode would be the perfect time for buddie to go canon. buck and eddie have been getting closer since their begins eps. they’ve both grown as people. tried other relationships. neither of which work out. both of which they choose to end.

actually, yes. I am into this. and here’s how it happens:

the sniper and the blackout puts things in perspective. which leads to eddie to breaking up with ana. buck realizes where his priorities are and he breaks up with taylor soon after. that’s when the shoulder bumps and playful banter starts to ramp up. they’ve always been in each other’s space and at each other’s homes. now it’s just more. buck and eddie become buck&eddie.

there’s no big declaration or passionate kiss. 911 doesn’t really do that. what we will get is a buddie hug after a too-close call that lingers a little too long. and eddie doing his sustained eye contact thing. and buck reciprocating with his eye flutter thing. then eddie reaching with his hands. then buck’s blinding smile. then...

END CREDITS. because it’ll hurt so good.

mid-way thru the next ep we’ll get confirmation in the form of carla. she’ll stumble over buck coming out of eddie’s room. there will be a little light teasing. it’s about time interspereced with domestic fluff. they will keep it to themselves for now.

and then eddie’s parents guilt trip him into going to texas for the holidays. buck has a christmas eve shift, but has christmas day off. and plans with maddie, chim, albert, and the hans for jee-yun’s first christmas. plus holiday dinner with athena and bobby’s family. he’s not going to be alone.

doesn’t feel that way tho.

and then there’s a scene at the airport that mirrors the end of s1. only instead of abby leaving it’s eddie and christopher. with buck and eddie both pretending to be okay. neither of them are.

cue eddie in texas. where everything goes wrong. of course it does. helena and ramon keep making jabs about how eddie’s raising christopher. they will never think he’s enough. even worse they don’t treat christopher like an autonomous person. but a consolation prize. a parenthood do-over.

and eddie’s miserable. christopher’s miserable. they both miss buck.

there’s definitely a firefighter santa involved. a lesson about family being who you chose. christopher won’t stop talking about last christmas at the station. about buck.

which is why. when everything comes to a head over christmas eve dinner. eddie makes an executive decision. books a red-eye flight and bundles him and christopher off to the airport.

buck’s out on a call when eddie and christopher arrive. it was only a 2 hr flight but it’s still really late. they both conk out on the sofas. and that’s where buck spots them when the trucks pull into the station. he’s doesn’t go all the way over to them. just watches them from afar. like he’s always done.

until eddie wakes up. sees him watching. reaches his hand out to buck and drags him into their space. physically connects the three of them. kisses his hand. merry christmas buck.

neither buck or eddie notice that chris is also awake. watching them with a mischieveous smile on his face. because christopher believes in magic. the christmas spirit. santa claus. and apparently santa claus believes in christopher because that man has granted each and every one of his wishes.

dad. mom. family. buck.

christopher has been slowly building his own family. via christmas miracles and the help of his good friend santa claus.

outside the window it starts snowing.

and it feels like magic.

#if any of this actually happens in canon #even tangentially #I will lose my danging mind #christopher has set a precedent of asking santa for PARENTS for xmas #eddie then shannon #then eddie and buck (family)#and what's the next step #BUCK #he needs to ask santa for buck #and that's how we get canon buddie #christopher diaz #eddie diaz #shannon diaz #evan 'buck' buckley #buddie #9-1-1 #911 what's queue emergency?#writing in the ready room #petition for christopher begins

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baku-writes · 3 years

Note

Izuku x reader x Bakugou izuku loves reader and Uraraka and reader is tired of being his second choice and pulls herself out of the equation only to see Katsuki was the person for her and she explores that years later Deku tries to ask her out since Uraraka left him and Katsuki steps in telling him he can’t manipulate her or something like that thank youuu!!

Sure thing!!! Deku might be a lil out of character bc in reality he is such a soft bean but LESSGOOO.

Bakugou x fem!reader, deku x fem!reader, deku x ochako

TW: cheating, angst, a bit spicy at the end

Angst to fluff 🐜💞

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!!!💞💞💞

(I think the art was by @mkm_storage on twitter, but I can't completely remember, sorry )<33

He wants her

Summary: during your time at UA you always were second choice to Midoriya, you knew he 'loved' you but he also loved ochako. After a nasty break up bakugo becomes the man you always desired and the man to protect you. Even when izuku comes crawling back....

Deku was one of your first friends at UA, along with Bakugo. He was strong, smart and exceptionally kind. Plus, his motivation to become the number one was always something to be admired.

You saw yourself as average. Your quirk was good, but not enough to be the top of the class. You could pass all the tests, but you weren't the smartest in the class. Even when it come to athletics you could out perform some, but never beat the people at the top. People like midoriya, bakugo and todoroki were unreachable to you.

Suprisingly, you didn't last ot get you down. You worked hard and accomplished things due to it, your goal was to save people. Not make competition between classmates. So instead, you would attempt to help people out. Mainly deku.

That is how you two began dating, one day during a study session in his room he asked you out. And you obviously agreed. He was amazing and so kind.

But something was nagging you at the back of your mind...

Uraraka....

Don't get me wrong, she was lovely. She never hurt you and instead was always there for you. The two of you would hang out and go shopping together, even training together whilst spilling secrets and crushes. You knew she liked him and she knew you liked him too... it was a tricky situation but it would be stupid of you to deny his confession, right?

It was almost 2 years into your relationship, if you could even call it that. Nothing seemed to scream "boyfriend and girlfriend". No hugs, no kisses and no affection. To be honest, many people in your own class didn't know the two of you were even together.

But one if the few that did was Bakugo. He knew how you felt... he could see it written all over your face. You were unhappy and overall anxious about your relationship. Not that you would ever admit that.

He also knew about Uraraka... how you knew about the affection being given to her by YOUR boyfriend, how you tried to keep them distant due to the fear of being replaced. How they kept you distant, but still close enough to be hurt by everything...

----------------

*BAKUGO POV*

'Fucking disgusting' Bakugo thought, he sat in the back of the classroom.

He was 10 minutes early, but Kaminari wouldn't give him peace if he weren't in class. To his surprise Deku arrived early too, looking a little bit anxious and also... expectant?? Was he waiting for someone? It was pretty rare you would get to class early, you were known for sleeping in and arriving late by a couple of minutes...

A few second rolled around and then she entered. The 'best friend' who made you Deku's second choice, without you even fully realising it. But why were they alone.... usually you would be close by, standing in the corner and watching dead-eyed as you wait for your turn of affection. The turn that rarely came unless you threatened to leave.

As if he weren't there, the two started hugging talking and even blushing. Uraraka sat on Deku's desk and giggled at the slightest breath that would escape the nerds mouth. He didn't care about what they were speaking about. Until....

"You know Deku, we should hang out some time? Maybe have a coffee date." A small goggle escaped her mouth as her pink cheeks become more pronounced. Her legs swayed enthusiastically as Deku nodded without a word, his face crimson red and eyes wide.

Did he fucking forget he had a girlfriend? Or is he a scumbag?

Just as he was about to scream bloody murder at deku, he noticed you stood in the door way. Your demeanor uncharacteristically cold and threatening. The room felt heavy as deafening silence replaced the irritating giggles escaping Ochako's mouth....

*Y/N POV*

This was the final fucking straw...

You have been waiting outside your classroom for a minute now and all that can be heard is your 'best friends' giggling and your boyfriends flirtatious talking. You pelaed your head around the corner only to hear

"You know Deku, we should hang out some time? Maybe have a coffee date." And giggles escape the man stealing brunettes mouth.

And what made your blood run cold was his reaction. Fucking nodding. Blushing. Eyes wide. Obviously excited for the date.

You knew you were second choice. You always knew he would put hero work before you, studying before you. And even stronger girls before you. Ever since the two of you started dating that was a prominent factor in your relationship. But you still tried... so hard. You tried so hard to keep the love together, to grasp onto the memories you two had. To keep gluing the shattered pieces of your heart together each time he would push you aside for your own friend...

Sadness quickly turned to anger. You were pissed. Nearly 2 years of NOTHING. Everything was a waste, god why were you so naive. Thinking a boy so wound up in his fantasy would love you like you loved him. Thinking your best friend wouldn't go behind your back just to be with him. Thinking he would decline her even though it was obvious he liked her too.

Hah "too". Could you even say he ever liked you? Or did he pretend he liked you? Maybe he did like you.... but if he did why would he do this? If he didn't like you why would he waste your time?

You were angry and confused. And you have had enough.

That's when you were noticed by bakugo, uraraka and deku. You didn't care if your other close friend Bakugo was there, you could tell by the look on his face that he was going to lose his shit and scream at them. But this was your relationship. You were going to make all hell go lose. And you don't care if others see it. The more humiliating, the better. Just like he humiliated you.

"A date, huh?" Yous started off, calmly. This brought surprise to everyone in the room, you were talking almost as if it was girl gossip and talking about crushes. Like it was an activity you were excited to hear about.

But when you didn't get a response.... your face turned sour.

"Really a fucking date? You seem to be forgetting that I am your girlfriend" you time raised as you walked over to the two traitors. "You know what, fuck that thought. I was your girlfriend. But Hah, NOT ANYMORE!"

"You really think I didn't have the slightest idea what was going on? You think that I am thick enough to think you two would leave each other alone, huh? To not keep my eyes on you? You two are both scumbags. Ones a friend who has knew about my crush on you months before she admitted hers to anyone, and my EX-boyfriend who thought I wouldn't know about being the sidechick. "

Bakugo stared in amazement. He has never seen you so confident before, especially if you've just been hurt.

You took a breather.

"We're done, I refuse to be your second option Midoriya. I've wasted so much time on your ass, and I regret every second of it."

"Y/N wait, please. Clam down, it's alla misunderstanding. I love you both, I just need time to figu-"

"SHUT YOUR TRAP NERD!" Bakugo snapped, ramming his chair backs and standing up, his hands shoved in his pockets as he walked over to you. "She's wasted two years on your ungrateful ass, enjoy your little date shitty nerd."

"Y/N... I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was doi-" tears welled up in ochako eyes....

Guilt tripping, really? Could she not even face her own consequences without crying about it?

"Can it Uraraka. We are done too, I don't want to be friends with a man stealer."

And with that you and Bakugo left the room, leaving the two traitors to their own devices. Hoping they enjoy their little 'date'.

Little did you know, yours and Bakugos friendship would kindle onto something warmer, larger and more loving. After 6 months of being single, he confessed to you and promised to be there for you and never leave your side.

And he stuck with that promise. He never replaced you. He never made you a side chick. He did show affection to you (mostly in privacy where he could be open, but it was still more than Midoriya would ever show).

He made you feel loved, he even studied with you and bumped your grades from B's to A's. And that isn't even brushing on the fact that he made your quirky stronger. Ofcourse the two of you had some issues, like every couple, however he would apologise (it takes him a while, but he actually does apologise) and give you positive affirmations of being enough.

You loved him.

--------------------------------

*TIME SKIP!!!! PRO HERO GALA. Deku isnumber 1 hero, bakugo is number 2 hero and you are number 7 hero!!*

It was a beautiful night, you and bakugo had both moved up a rank. Placing him in the second rank and you in the 7th rank. It was a night to be celebrated, and a night for the two if you to celebrate your anniversary. The two of you had been dating for 5 years now (you were both 22) and still going strong.

Both of you looked amazing; your H/C hair perfectly styled, a small amount of makeup precisely placed onto your face and your crimson dress flowed elegantly down your body.

And let's just say Katsuki was looking fine as hell too; his suit fit tightly against his muscles, rippling and stretching with each moves. He wore a crimson tie, the same colour as your dress, which can unusual for Katsuki due to his odd undying hatred for ties.

His hair was also neatly trimmed into an undercut, a faint scar running along his scar due to a previous villain attack. But some things never change, like the scowl that adorned his face.

The dancing had just finished and pro-heros gathered in groups to chat amongst themselves. However, you had a different thought in mind.

You hadn't eaten all day, the only thing in your digestive system was half a slice of toast that you managed to eat for breakfast. But the food placed along the tables on the far side of the hall looked mouth wateringly good.

"Katsuki, I'm going to go get a bite to eat, okay?"you murmered, planting a soft kiss on his cheek before scurrying over the the food.

You turned around, painting the nicest smile you could muster. The sight of his face boiled your blood as memories of your neglectful relationship crossed your mind.

You began placing the food on your small styrofoam plate until you heard a small familiar voice behind you-

"Hey Y/N, long time no see." Fuck it was Midoriya. A small nervous giggle escaped his lips as he rubbed the back of his neck.

His face still boiled your blood as you remembered the time you wasted in the neglectful relationship. His false act of kindness made your stomach twist in violent anger.

That was until you realised he was alone. Uraraka was no where in sight, you don't even think she turned up to the pro-hero gala. It was probably down to her most recent embarrassment, being caught cheating again on the number one hero with her most recent sidekick.

"Yeah. I see you're the number 1 hero now. You finally got there in the end."

Keep your cool y/n. You have Katsuki now, Deku can't do shit to you anymore.

"Yep, it took a lot. And Kacchan in the number 2 now, huh? That's great!"

The two of you paused. The tension in the air was thick, you could probably cut it with a knife.

"Hey, uhhh, Y/N. I'm really sorry about what happened between the two of us," he hung his head down and stuffed his hands in his pockets, his voice low. " I was wondering if we could start over, maybe get back in touch, ya know? We could start again, get back together. I've reached my goal now, nothings stopping us."

His headshot back up as he looked into your eyes. Your face morphed into one of shock. Did this asshole really just ask if you two could start fresh?

"I know we ended on bad terms Y/N, and I know you are with kacchan right now but I really miss you. I can do so much better for you, I have more money. More land. A higher ranking. I could even boost your ranks."

He paused and you placed the plate of food onto the table, getting ready to possibly smack this bitch.

"I know what Kacchan is like, he is toxic and you don't look happy. Do you not miss me? Remember the time we went on a picnic and you couldn't stop laughing? He can't give that to you. Kacchan can't give anything to yo-"

A firm hand grasped his shoulder and tugged Midoriya far enough back so they could be face to face.

"K-kacchan."

"The fuck are you doing near my girlfriend, Deku?"

A low growl rumbled from Katsuki's throat as he stared down into Midoriya's eyes, his grip tightening.

"I asked a question moron, answer it. "

"I, uhhh. I was g-getting to know them a bit more." Midoriya glanced over to you, as if asking for help, but instead you crossed your arms and shook your head.

"He was trying to get back with me Katsuki, and decided to trash talk you along the way."

The audible gulp that left Midoriya's throat made a low chuckle rumble from within Katsuki.

"I'm going to give you 5 seconds to piss off outta 'ere before I blast your ass. And speak to my girl again and there will be consequences." Katsuki let go of Midoriya (who was now visibly shaken). "Now get lost."

Deku scrambled away, his composure completely lost as some pro-heros starednin confusion, only to go back to talking within their little groups.

"You okay, princess?" Katsuki steadily walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and planting a kiss to your forehead.

"I'll be fine, it was just a surprise that's all." You sighed, letting out the shaky breath and relaxing your tense muscles.

"Let's go home, I'll give you a better night to remember."

A smirk made it's way onto your boyfriends lips as one hand squeezed your ass.

-------------------------------------

I am back from my break!! Sorry this took a while, I was dealing with my mental health but it's finally finished!! I hope it is what you wanted. 💞💞

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seasonofthewicth · 3 years

Text

nobody does it like you do - act 1

I'm finally back with some more rowaelin! I started this fic in november last year and wrote the first 10k in 24 hours, but from then on this fic was a struggle... Thank you so, so much to @morganofthewildfire for sharing so much of your time to help me with this, this fic would not be here without you 💗 I'm so happy to have finally finished it and can share it on here. I hope you enjoy

CW: past drug abuse, minor character death, violence

7.7k - masterlist - ao3

When her agent sends her the script it’s not the first time she’s heard of Rowan Whitethorn, his name is written at the top under the heading director, which itself is under the big red text reading confidential. He’s been at this stuff for a while now, directed a couple of movies that popped up on her radar but that nothing ever came of for her, and he’s well known in the business.

He was even nominated for an Oscar a couple of years ago, and she watched the ceremony with Lysandra, slapping the bills into her outstretched hand when he didn’t win.

His movie had been far too fucking raw for him to have won, she knew that, a tale about a group of kids who witnessed a murder and how it stayed with them and fucked them up into adulthood, but it had stuck with her nonetheless and she’d put her money on him anyway.

She reads the section of script Dorian has sent her, tucked up in bed with a glass of sparkling water and her most comfortable sweater, leaning back into the mountain of expensive pillows she had Elide buy for her and pondering how so much money could end up so uncomfortable, and she knows it’s something special.

She realises she wants this role, almost to an uncomfortable degree, when she’s about five lines in. The heroine is bratty and rash, but serious and pained in a way that makes her completely fleshed out and Aelin wants to play her, wants to be her and embody her in a way that takes her out of the pit she’s in.

She hopes this could be what gets her out of it.

Aedion had tried to pull her out, gods bless him, dropping by her apartment every morning for weeks to check up on her with a coffee in his hand, topped with cream and two sugars the way he knows she likes. Each morning he let himself in with her spare key, the one she gave to him the day she moved in, wanting him to be able to let himself in whenever he wanted but also knowing there was no one else she wanted to give it to.

She would have given it to Sam, would have given everything to Sam, but he’s gone and she’s left sitting here, wondering how to salvage what’s left of her reputation.

What reputation she had even managed to build after starring in one mediocre TV show and a handful of low-budget movies. She knows deep down, and in a way her brain likes to remind her of when she’s at her lowest, that the main reason she isn’t a complete nobody is because she’s Evalin Ashryver’s daughter. Her therapist tells her every time she bothers to go to a session that having a famous mother doesn’t mean she’s a failure and that she has to recognise each of her successes as her own. She nods along every time, but she doesn’t believe her. What has she managed to accomplish truly on her own?

It hasn’t been made public yet that Rowan Whitethorn is involved in the film, she only knows because Chaol wrote the whole script himself and texted her to let her know when he signed on to direct. She’s known Chaol since she was eighteen and took her first solo trip to Rifthold, drawn to the lights of the big city and the almost magnetic pull of the heart of the industry. He’d stumbled upon her in a club she was far too young to be in and had pulled her out, sending her home in a cab that he paid for. Looking back she was grateful for his attempt to avoid what she knew later was an inevitability.

She had cursed him when he told her she’d still have to audition, but she gets it. She hasn’t exactly behaved in a way recently that makes people want to take a chance on her.

Stumbling out of clubs, eyes as wide as saucers and high as a fucking kite isn’t the kind of star casting directors are desperate to hire, but she’s trying to be better. She’s promised those around her that she’ll be better, and she knows that the only reason she hasn’t ended up in rehab is that she has an incredible therapist and a highly persuasive manner of dealing with her friends and family. The only reason they’ve taken that chance on her is time, and she’s grateful for that mercy.

She turns the page, hitting the final line for the third time. Chaol’s script is so good she’s read the few pages she’s been sent over and over.

She only reads scripts in physical copies, takes the time to print them out using her shitty printer that belongs right back in 2008, and she knows it’s wasteful but she allows herself that small luxury of the crisp paper in her hand as she delves into each new world. Her character is in the middle of a teary monologue that she knows exactly how she’d do, the way she’d halt her breath and choke out the words-- it’s not her character. Yet.

The audition is next week, and she’ll work her ass off to make sure she’s ready. Her usual pre-audition ritual involves taking up far too much of Lysandra’s time to practice reading the lines and filming herself time after time, take after take, and watching it back in the unholy hours of night until she’s happy she’s made an improvement.

Or at least that’s how she used to do it, nothing has made her want a role like this in a long while. She worries as she bites her lip, that wanting something this much means she’s getting over Sam. That maybe one day she won’t think of him and hear the pounding in her ears, won’t feel the lightheadedness that comes with a memory of their time together. Worries that if she forgets the sounds of his screams she’s failing him somehow.

She takes another sip of her sparkling water. It’s poured into a wine glass so she can at least pretend she’ll get the relaxation she craves. Alcohol was never one of her vices but she finds it’s better to be safe than sorry. It’s unhealthy as far as coping mechanisms go, but she’s been worse so it’s going down as a win.

Chaol told her some guy called Brullo is casting this one. She’s never heard of him, which is kind of rare. She’s been on the periphery of this bubble for pretty much her entire life, following her mother around her own movie sets and sitting on the wooden directors chair when her legs still dangled off the side, but if he’s like any other casting director in Adarlan she knows how to impress him.

When she reaches the last line of the part of the script she’s been sent, her mind wanders again to Rowan Whitethorn.

He’s the kind of director up and coming actors can only hope to one day work with, even though she’s pretty sure he can’t be much more than thirty, he’s built himself to a level where he can be choosy with his projects.

It's a well deserved privilege. Each of his works has stayed with her after watching, his style is gritty and dark, but grounded in a way that leaves her empty each time after finishing.

She wants this, and she buries the guilt she feels for that. Sam would want her to want this. She deserves it, or at least she hopes she can come to.

Dorian books her a mid-morning flight so she doesn’t have to wake too early before the audition, he’s a damn good agent and one she definitely doesn’t deserve with his seemingly endless patience, but she’s continuously grateful for him.

Aelin styles herself for it, ties her hair back and leaves the makeup to a minimum in a way that she hopes shows them she’s right for the part, that she can be the insecure little girl who experiences far too much. She knows she doesn’t have the sheltered innocence the character has, but she’s an actress and this is what she does. Aelin pretends for a living.

He’s also booked her a room in a pretty nice hotel for the night, she’s not sure whether he’s used her meagre acting funds or the funds from the account she knows he mom throws money into every month. It’s an argument she and Evalin have had repeatedly, she wants to stand on her own two feet, but she never protests too hard. The account kept the roof over her head when she was too busy snorting her life away to consider where her next paycheck would come from.

Aelin throws herself backwards into the crisp white bedding on the hotel room bed and takes a deep breath. The only luggage she brought with her is a carry on slung somewhere by the door and the room feels too empty to sit here and wait for the car that’s arriving to take her to the studio in just over an hour. If she sits here and waits the nerves will only build, and then she’ll itch for something to take the edge off.

She picks her phone up to text her cousin.

Jet lag from a 2 hour flight. Who would have thought?

Aelin waits two minutes for a reply, locking and unlocking her phone as she sits there, but one doesn’t come. Aedion’s probably at a training session and not checking his phone. Aelin runs a hand through her hair, careful not to dislodge the pins she placed carefully in it this morning, she needs to stop using him as her crutch. She knows he doesn’t mind, but it’s not right either way.

She needs to get out of this room.

The streets of Rifthold are busy and crammed as she meanders down them, clutching the takeout coffee cup she bought from a vendor with a stall at the side of the road.

People pay her no mind as she walks, the oversized shades hide her eyes that she knows are a dead giveaway for her membership of the Ashryver line. Even if she didn’t wear them, everybody else here wants to be someone, and so far she can still blend in if she tries.

She sends a text to the assistant organising the audition, it’s kind of shitty of her but she keeps it brief because she can’t remember their name, letting them know the car isn’t needed anymore and that she’ll make her own way there. She needs the stroll through the streets to clear her head.

Aelin needs to nail it. She hasn’t felt the twisting of desire so sharp in her stomach for a long time and the only way she’ll manage it is with a clear head.

She alternates her breathing with sips of her coffee, the taste is bitter but she keeps drinking. She pulls her phone out to check the directions to the studio.

Spontaneous isn’t a word Aelin would use to describe herself anymore, any longing to go with the flow died the minute she lost control. It’s safer now to plan, to make sure she won’t lead herself astray.

Brullo is a man in his mid forties, with dashes of grey seasoned through his muddy brown hair, and kind lines around his eyes as he smiles and shakes her hand. Aelin wipes the sweat off her palm on her jeans before clasping her hand in his.

The audition goes about as well as she can hope for, she remembers every line, and the other casting director is fairly natural reading the lines for her to act against. Aelin swallows back her tears after she finishes, trying to keep what dignity she can to end the audition when there’s snot threatening to run down her upper lip. It was a brutal scene to start with, but if she can pull this off she can surely manage the rest.

Brullo’s expression is carefully guarded as she leaves, giving nothing away, but Aelin thinks she did a good job, which is all she could have ever hoped for.

She’s staring at the tiled floor, mulling over Brullo’s parting words, thanks Aelin, our people will be in touch, when she hits something hard and warm.

She’s too busy dissecting those eight words to register exactly who it is with their hands clamped around the top of her arms, steadying her as she stumbles, but she looks up and her gaze meets that of a pair of striking, green eyes.

The man gripping her is easily over a head taller than her, broad and strong enough that she fights back the shiver that wants to roll through her at his touch. He’s staring down at her, the strong planes of his face drawn into a deep frown, with his strangely coloured eyebrows pulled in.

They’re a kind of silver that matches his short cut hair, and it shines in the fluorescent light of the hallway in a way that it can only be natural, but she’s never seen a shade quite like it.

“Sorry,” she manages to stutter out, still thrown from the vulnerability of her audition.

“It’s alright.” His voice burns through the words, his accent rolling in a way that raises hairs down the back of her neck. He flashes her a dangerous grin and she steadies herself. She knows what that look means. She’s used to the male attention, and as much as she hates to acknowledge it, she knows her looks are an element of how she’s got as far as she has. That and her family’s name.

The decision of whether to register in the guild as Aelin Ashryver or Aelin Galathynius was one she had spent hours deliberating over. Did she want the level of independence Galathynius would give her, or the reputation being an Ashryver would bring?

The man releases his grip on her shoulders, but not before running his hands down her arms until he reaches her wrists which he releases with a light squeeze. She takes an almost imperceptible step back, leaning back to breathe some air into her lungs. All she ends up doing is filling her mind with this man’s smell, inviting and intoxicating, a delicious combination of pine trees and snowy winter mornings.

“I don’t usually go around slamming into people like this,” she tells him, letting some of her snark slip through. He’s said two words to her so far but she knows he can take it, and she wants to play.

His grin becomes even more wicked and it truly is a sight to see. This man is built like a god; broad, muscular shoulders stretching the white button up he wears and she spies the dark lines of a tattoo threatening to slip past his collar.

It’s been a couple of months since her last mindless hook-up, and this man would more than do. The mischief glimmering in his eyes tells her he’d know how to make her gasp and beg.

“Slam into me anytime.” His words are a sensual croon and her mouth drops open slightly, but he sidesteps her before she can manage to speak again, nodding towards the door she’s come through. “Good luck with whatever you were here for.”

With that he’s gone, leaving her to turn and watch the way his grey slacks pull against his thighs as he walks away from her.

Aelin tries not to think too much about the outcome of the audition, and flies back to Orynth in economy class with a sleep mask tucked over her eyes lest she be recognised when all she wants to do is curl up in bed and be alone for a bit. That or get fucking wasted, and she can’t do that.

She tries far too hard to forget about the man from the hallway, forget about the way his voice had rumbled deep in her chest and the tug in her belly that his words had sent through her.

She begs Elide to come to a bar with her, and she agrees. Aelin needs to pay her more, maybe change her title from publicist to publicist-come-part-time-therapist-and-life-saver. Aelin’s not sure she has the budget for that really.

Elide would smack her if she knew Aelin’s thoughts. Would scold her for looking at Elide just like an employee as if they weren’t childhood friends and Elide hadn’t been there holding her hand through the whole Sam thing. As if she, Lysandra and Aedion hadn’t been her only reason for being here now.

A bar might be a risk, but she can sip her sparkling water while she browses the small selection of men that Orynth has to offer.

She enjoys the easy conversation she has with Elide, chatting about what their friends have been up to, even though most of them are mainly Elide’s friends at this point. After Sam she stopped speaking to everyone but those who were necessary. She couldn’t manage any more than that.

“You should come with us next time,” Elide is saying as she sips her own lemonade. Aelin knows Elide would normally choose a crisp glass of white wine over a lemonade and her sobriety solidarity touches her heart.

“Maybe,” she shrugs, noncommittal.

The look Elide wears tells her she’s debating pushing the issue for the millionth time against the risk that Aelin would pull back again. She hates that she does this to her friends so she sighs.

“Text me next time,” she tries. “I’ll see if I’m free.”

Elide offers her a thankful smile, and Aelin returns it, trying to tell herself this is what she needs and that she shouldn’t just stay locked up thinking about Sam.

There’s a dark haired guy at the bar catching her eye, his jeans are far too tight and his shirt is ridiculous, but she can see the body beneath and his face is striking. Elide notices her stare and smirks.

She likely knows why Aelin invited her out tonight, but doesn’t mind. Lorcan’s probably waiting for her at the home they share, waiting for her to come back so they can be in love. Aelin hates the bastard, except she doesn’t. She introduced her friend to the tall, dark and grouchy hockey player at the wrap party for the shit teen movie she did a couple of years back, and she’s big enough to admit she wants what they have.

She had what they have.

What’s left in her glass slips down her throat easily in one mouthful and she promises to text Elide tomorrow before slipping out of the booth and over to the guy at the bar.

“You going to just stare at me all night?” She asks with a sly smile. “Or did you plan on doing something about it at some point?”

His smile makes him look even more attractive.

“Maybe I was waiting for you to make the first move, a beautiful girl like you can be intimidating.”

It’s a shit line and she rolls her eyes, but tugs him into a cab back to her place anyway.

“Please.” Her voice shakes as she begs. “Please don’t do this.”

The man in front of them scoffs and Sam squeezes her hand, his palm rough against her own.

“Aelin, baby. It’s okay, just do what he says.”

He lets go of her hand and turns back to the guy in front of them. His face is covered by a black mask, only two slits show her the dark brown of his eyes. She can barely look away from the knife he holds out in front of himself, it’s pointed at Sam but that doesn’t make her feel any better, it makes her feel worse in fact.

“Your wallet,” the guy demands.

Tears are rolling down her cheeks, fat and hot, as she fishes around in her bag for her purse.

“Just dump the whole thing,” the guy growls, irritated, but she’s pretty sure she’s going into shock and she can’t focus. Can’t breathe.

Sam’s voice is steady by her side as he throws his own wallet onto the street in front of them.

“Alright, man. We’re doing everything you say.”

“Hands up.” The mugger’s voice is sharp. “Don’t fucking move.”

She raises her arms straight in the air, trying to control the way her hands are shaking and the attacker ducks down to grab their things.

She lets out a tiny whimper and feels Sam spin to her, his eyes begging her to trust him. No, she shakes her head.

“I said don’t fucking move,” the guy yells and lunges for Sam.

His scream cuts the night air and she whirls, hands dropping into the air between them as he drops to the ground. The mugger takes off, sprinting down the empty street and she falls to her knees by Sam’s side.

In the dark, the pool spilling out across the floor by Sam’s side just looks black, but she knows that really it’s red. She’s not stupid. His face is twisted in pain and her hands flutter around his torso before she manages to pull back the flap of his jacket.

There’s a hole in his white t-shirt and now her jeans are wet where she kneels.

She needs her phone, needs to call someone who can make this all better, but her phone is gone.

She presses her hands against his side and his eyes shutter closed as he gasps. His breathing is stuttered and uneven.

“Sam. Sam, no,” she cries. “I’ll get help. You’re okay.”

“Aelin.” He raises a hand to press against her cheek, and the blood on it is sticky and warm.

“No, Sam. No, stay with me.”

The scream that tears through her throat will hurt tomorrow but now she barely feels it. “HELP!”

His breathing becomes much quicker as she presses on his side and screams again.

She knows abstractly that she’s crying, tears and snot streaming down her face as she desperately presses her hands against his side.

There’s a strong arm around her waist, tugging her back and away from Sam, and she screams one word over and over.

“No, no, no, no.”

There are people here now, leaning over Sam, leaning over his body.

“NO.”

Aelin gasps as she launches up in her bed. The sheets are stuck to her clammy skin and her head flies to the side. The guy is gone, the side of the bed he occupied when she fell asleep now cold. Good.

She lives it over and over in her dreams, sees the dark street more often than not, feels the phantom warmth of his blood down her legs. Wakes screaming herself hoarse just as she did that night. She doesn’t normally let people stay the night. Even when Aedion tried for the first few weeks after the fact, she couldn’t sleep, couldn’t turn her brain off for even a second. Every time she closed her eyes she was back on that street, begging and pleading for him to open his eyes.

She grasps at her side for the switch of her bedside lamp and flicks it on. Her room is cold and empty and she hasn’t had it in her to decorate past the basics so it’s plain and impersonal when she looks around, trying to calm her breathing.

She checks the time. 6:25am. Not bad, she must have managed about six hours of sleep last night, and it’s more than she usually gets.

There're a few texts waiting in her inbox, including one from Elide, and she expects it to be a request to let her know that she got home safe but it’s not.

Call me as soon as you wake up.

Sent at 6:02am. Elide is a chronic overworker, no matter how much Aelin begs her to stick to a 9 to 5 schedule, but she couldn't imagine her friend any other way. The smiling emoji at the end of the text lets her know it’s nothing she needs to panic about, so she takes a moment to scroll through her other messages. It’s unusual for her to wake up to so many.

She clicks on her conversation with Dorian, the only message she can see, his most recent one, just says Aelin. He has sent her nine messages while she slept, and she scrolls up to reach the first one.

Aelin, you did it. You booked the Rowan Whitethorn movie.

Her heart pounds in her chest, running into overdrive as she processes the words on her screen.

She got the part. She fucking did it.

This is one of those moments she knows she’ll remember.

Dorian has forwarded over a number of contracts and official things but she ignores them in favour of dialling Elide’s number.

“Aelin!” Her friend’s voice is breathy when she answers. “Congratulations, I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks, El.” A pause where she takes a deep breath in. “I can’t believe it.”

She falls back onto her mattress, pressing a fist to her lips as she smiles, eyes closed, almost giddy as she listens to her friend talk.

“They’re putting a press release out today at 12:30, announcing you and the male lead, who I haven’t found out yet but I will.”

“Oh my gods,” she sighs, covering her eyes with a clammy hand.

“I know,” Elide laughs.

She allows herself one tear as she stares up at the white of her ceiling.

This is big, she can feel it.

Later her phone buzzes as Elide sends her links to two different articles breaking the news.

Fenrys Moonbeam and Aelin Ashryver to star in new Chaol Westfall drama. More to follow.

Rowan Whitethorn signs on to direct The Crescent City, the latest project from Chaol Westfall (Throne of Glass, The King’s Hand & more).

She presses the phone to her chest as she lets out a sigh of relief.

It all moves pretty quickly from that point.

She’s on a plane back to Rifthold the next day and Chaol has sent over the whole script for her to read on the plane, bypassing Dorian completely even though that’s how it normally goes and she knows the two are like brothers.

Chaol was the one to introduce her to Dorian, and they kind of took her under their showbiz wings in the first few years she began to get really serious about acting.

They gave her the inside scoop, having been in the industry for a few more years than her. Chaol writing and making movies and Dorian doing all the background stuff like contracts and negotiations and exposure. They took her to their wrap parties that everyone knows are just networking events and introduced her to some of the big names in the industry without so much as batting an eyelid, and she knows she owes them a lot.

The script is phenomenal, and she has to try and hide the tears that form when she reaches the end, it probably wouldn’t be the best start to the project, being photographed crying on the plane on the way to start shooting. It really is some of Chaol’s best work, and she sends him a text when she lands that says fuck you, I hate it, but his reply lets her know he knows she’s joking.

It tells the story of her character, Feyre, and how she’s dragged into selling drugs to pay for her mom’s hospital bills. Along the way she meets Fenrys Moonbeam’s character, Rhysand, the glowering bad-boy who’s well established in the gang and together they see some shit and do some shit but manage to get out together. The topics are kind of cliché and over done, but Chaol has managed to add a level of originality to it that makes it really special.

It’s heavier on the romance than Rowan Whitethorn’s previous projects, but it’s gritty enough that she can see why he’s signed on. It’s going to be hard, she knows this, and it will really push her to her limits trying to embody the range of emotions her character goes through. But she wants it, and she will make her performance incredible if it fucking kills her.

There’s a niggling part of her brain that reminds her that she’s surrounded by some big names on this project, names that are big for a reason, and she can’t let them hiring her be a mistake.

She sends Chaol a follow up text, wtf are these names btw???

He ignores her.

When she’s in the car taking her to the apartment the studio is renting out for her while they film she decides to take a little trip through Instagram and look up her new co-star. Fenrys is a household name by now, a couple of years in after his debut, but it can’t hurt to know a little more about her leading man.

f.moonbeam01 comes up as the first option when the types the three letters f e n into the search bar and he has over eleven million followers.

Shit.

Not that she needs a reminder but it slaps her in the face that this is actually big. Aelin only has a few thousand followers herself and Elide has already told her to prepare herself for that to rise.

His Instagram is a mixture of mostly photos of himself, some selfies and some professional shots, and he’s obviously gorgeous. His deep brown complexion playing well against his golden curls with a straight strong nose and flawless white teeth. He’s definitely leading man material, and she can tell just how charming his grin is even through a screen.

There are also promo pictures for all the movies he’s involved in at the moment, there are at least three projects he has coming out this year. Damn.

His most recent picture is a screenshot of the article announcing their casting, and he’s actually tagged her in the photo along with Rowan himself. She hasn’t seen the tag until now, it’s normally Elide’s job as her publicist to tackle the professional side to her social media, but there’s 6.4 million likes on the photo.

Again, shit.

She can’t help herself from clicking onto Rowan’s account, rowanwhitethorn is a pretty simple handle. He only has 27 posts, most of them are behind the scenes shots from projects, one with his classic director’s chair that has his surname printed across the back in thick white lettering, and a few pictures of different cameras and pieces of equipment.

There’s only one picture of him on there, and it’s from 2017. He has his back to the camera and the sunset behind him lends a shadow that covers all of his features. Very artsy she muses to herself as she double taps the screen to like it, he probably won’t see anyway, the notification will probably get lost in the ones his account no doubt gets from his 2 million followers. The only thing she can gather from the photo about his physical appearance is that he has pretty broad shoulders.

She’s tempted to google him, wanting to know what he looks like, but she feels a bit too much like a stalker, and she knows she’ll meet him in a couple of days anyway so she leaves it and pulls up her emails to reply to the seemingly endless list of forms she has to fill out and send back to Dorian.

The apartment she’s living in for the next few months is modern and airy, with clean lines and bright decor. Aelin likes it, and while it’s not hers in the same way as her home back in Orynth, it’s far better than a hotel room that lower budget movies tend to shove actors in. Another reminder that this time is different, there’s a bigger budget than she’s used to, bigger names than she’s used to, and she can’t fuck this up. There’s more eyes on her now than ever before.

She sends Elide a picture of her new bedroom and her friend just replies with a bunch of exclamation marks and she forwards the picture across to Lysandra too. Aelin wanders through to the kitchen, wondering if anyone bothered to stock the kitchen, not that she can’t do groceries herself, it would just be nice. She’s delighted to find a fridge full of fresh produce and gets about making herself a dish of pasta and veggies.

She tucks herself in front of the big television, munching away as she watches some National Geographic documentary about whales and it helps to take her mind off the fact that this is her last night of peace for a while. She’s trying not to get too in her head about it, there’s a fine line between knowing it’s a big deal and freaking the fuck out about it, and she needs to stay on the right side of that line, needs to keep herself in check.

If she allows herself a moment to relax, a moment to sink into the situation and bask in the opportunity; she’s excited.

And depending on how well this movie does, she knows she may not have another night like this one. Somehow the thought doesn’t seem to scare her.

Lysandra calls her as she’s waiting for the car to arrive to take her to the studio, it's day one of their table read today and she’s tired. She spent all of last night tossing and turning, unable to shut her mind off and panicking over every single detail of how this day could go.

She’s lucky it’s only a table read, she’s not sure even a professional make-up artist would be able to cover the dark circles under her eyes.

“Hello, you.” Lysandra’s voice is cheery through the phone and Aelin smiles, she’s really missed Lysandra and hasn’t taken nearly enough time to seek her out during her recent whirlwind. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

They had texted since the news dropped, but with Lysandra shooting a campaign for a brand she can’t remember somewhere over in the Southern Continent they haven’t had time yet for a call.

“Thanks Lys,” she says as she gets into the back of the sleek black car that the studio has sent for her, tucking her small black backpack onto the seat next to her. It’s all she can use at this point, any other bag just makes her think of that night.

“How’s it going? Have you met everyone yet?”

Lysandra runs in these circles of A list celebrities and Aelin wouldn't be surprised if she already knew Fenrys. She met Lysandra when they were teens; years before her first show for Victoria’s Secret, years before she was walking for people like Gucci and Prada, and they stayed close when they were both living off cheap ramen and thin strands of hope. Aelin likes to tease her about hanging with a lowly C-lister like herself but Lysandra is always quick to quip that she’s maybe a G-lister at a push.

That could change.

“I haven’t met anyone so far, but I’m literally on my way to meet everyone now.”

“That’s exciting, you’ll have to let me know if Fenrys Moonbeam is really that good looking in person.”

“So you don’t already know him?” she asks, teasing. Maybe Lysandra doesn’t know quite everyone.

“Oh you know, apart from every week-end when we hook-up, we’re not really that good friends.”

Aelin laughs, mostly to herself, knowing that somewhere out there that probably is a story that’s cropped up in some cheap tabloid. She knows there’s probably some dating rumours about herself and Fenrys already even though she’s still yet to meet him. It’s just how it is, she knows this, has known this since she was old enough to read the stories about her parents’ messy divorce.

“What does Aedion have to say about that, hm?”

“Oh, he joins us obviously!” Lysandra’s laugh is bright and loud through the grainy speaker.

No-one is more desperate for Aedion to propose to Lysandra than Aelin, not even the magazines, desperate for a scoop of the golden couple, quarterback for the Rifthold Ravens and the world-famous supermodel.

“I think I’ve heard enough, thanks,” Aelin laughs as the car pulls through security checks at the studio. “Lys, I have to go, I’ve just got to the studio.”

“Okay, good luck! Promise you’ll call me later though and let me know how it goes.”

She needs to make sure she puts aside a minute to catch up properly with Lysandra, she’s been slacking recently and she knows her friend misses her. She misses Lysandra too, and Aedion. Maybe she’ll stay with them for a couple of days when she gets a break from filming, she can probably see them far more often now that she’s in Rifthold too.

“I promise,” she agrees. “Tell Aedion to make sure he spoils you from me.”

Lysandra snorts, “Oh he does, I’ll pass it along anyway though.”

“Means a lot. Love you, got to go.”

Lysandra’s returning love you is sincere, but she cuts off the phone as the car comes to a stop outside the plain brick building.

She readies herself in the back of the car, pulling down a deep breath to center herself, she can do this.

The girl leading her to the room doesn’t speak other than to tell Aelin to follow right this way, and she’s grateful, she’s not sure she could speak right now without vomiting all over the dated linoleum flooring.

She needs to get a grip, and fight the urge for a hit that strikes her when she’s nervous like this. It could make her fears disappear, at least for a moment before they all came crashing back down ten-times worse the minute the high faded. There is a reason she packed that shit in, and she knows her nerves will pass. It’s been a while since she’s done any of this, her last movie read was pre-Sam and no matter how hard she tries to push it down, there’s a lot of pressure on her for this to go well.

The girl pauses outside an unassuming white door and holds a hand out to gesture for Aelin to go in. She rolls her shoulders back, holding her head high before she steps into the room. If all else fails she’s still Evalin Ashryver’s daughter and to some people that is something to be proud of.

Fenrys Moonbeam is the first person to catch her eye when she steps into the room, and it seems he’s done some stalking too because he ends his conversation by the food table with some others she doesn’t recognise and bounds straight over to her with a grin.

“Aelin Ashryver,” he says, his voice deep and smooth like velvet. “I’ve heard of you. It’s a pleasure.”

“You have?” She’s both surprised and not at the same time as she holds a hand out for him to shake.

He bypasses the hand she holds out and tugs her into his chest, wrapping both arms around her and knocking her backpack off her shoulder.

“I have,” he says as he bends down to pick her bag back up. “Sorry about that.”

She shakes her head. She needs to stop acting like a bewildered school girl meeting the Queen, she needs to remember that she has second billing for this movie thanks to Dorian.

“Don’t worry about it.” Aelin finds a smile and plasters it on.

Someone calls for everyone to take their seats and she notices the name placards spaced out in front of each chair. She locates her own and it's surreal to see her name printed there, Aelin Ashryver, between Fenrys and another actress playing her sister called Manon Blackbeak. She’s even less known than Aelin, and she only feels slightly guilty for how much that relaxes her.

Aelin knows how this goes down, they sit opposite the production team, the director and all the executive producers and she realises that she’s opposite the sign that reads Rowan Whitethorn.

She slides into her seat, Fenrys and Manon chatting over her head as she does, and she spots a male slipping into the chair opposite her. He’s wearing a slim-fit forest green henley and dark jeans, his shoulders are just as broad as they were in his Instagram photo and here there’s no shadow across his handsome features.

She can’t deny that he’s attractive, she knew it the first time she saw him. Her stare locks onto the man from the hallway after her audition and he smirks at her as if they have a secret. And maybe they do, but now she’s realising that he’s her boss, and a little voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Elide is whispering to her that opportunities like this don’t come around everyday.

She owes it to Sam and she owes it to herself not to fuck this up, but the look that Rowan Whitethorn is sending her across the table makes her think she could risk it all.

It takes them three hours to run through it in full, and she’s happy to see she’s not the only one with a tear in her eye at the end. Rowan doesn’t cry, but he hasn’t looked at her since before they started and each time she read a line she avoided looking at him. She knows there were a couple of times where he nodded along with her expression of the lines. She’s ignoring it.

This is what she lives to do, they’re not even filming yet and she feels like she’s right where she needs to be. It’s cliche but she breathes easier when she acts, the air feels lighter when she takes on a new personality and feels all the things she’s told to feel.

It takes away the restlessness she feels when it’s all just down to her, being told how to feel is far easier.

Her therapist tells her she has both anxiety and PTSD, but she feels like giving it a name doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. She knows a diagnosis can be a relief for some, but to Aelin, what she feels is far too messy to be summed up in four letters. Her life has simply become the before, and the after, even though what each of those contains is a complete fucking shit show.

There are two Aelins; pre that night and post that night.

The Aelin from before that night doesn’t exist anywhere but in her own memory.

Once the run through is completed and basic notices are given by the producers, things like call sheet distributions and health and safety, the occupants of the room begin to mingle. She sees him make a beeline for her, and she swallows. She’s not ready for this.

“You look surprised to see me.” His voice is as hot as it was the last time she saw him, the slight rasp in his throat and his accent. Gods, the accent.

“You don’t look too surprised to see me.” She tilts her head at him because she feels way thrown off, like he has all the power here. Which he does. But like, she can play it cool. Fake it ‘til you make it, right? “Maybe had a little google search?”

He shakes his head at her, biting his lip kind of like he wants to laugh, and she bristles. She needs to level the playing field.

“Says you.” He’s definitely laughing now. “I saw you liked my photo last night.”

“What about it?” She shrugs, hoping her acting skills are up to it. He only tilts his head to the side as he takes her in.

“Do you think I didn’t know who you were in the corridor? I’m the director.” And fuck him for saying it like that, full of an easy confidence that in any other situation would have had heat pooling in the floor of her stomach. “Brullo discussed the casting with me.”

Right. Of course.

She’s not sure what to say next. Honestly? She kind of wants to flirt with him, but fuck.

Instead she hums a laugh, not really caring whether he thinks it’s sincere or not, and looks absentmindedly around the room instead of back up at him. He reaches a hand out to brush his fingers down her arm, looping them round the bones of her wrist and squeezing slightly like he did the last time before letting go. Her eyes snap back to his.

“Just between you and me?” he asks and the smile he wears is far too hot for her to deal with right now. “I think we made a good choice.”

“Thanks,” she says, but it’s a little too breathy. A little too dazed for having spent such a short amount of time in his presence. She’s aware that she needs to be careful, they are very much not alone in this room right now, and she doesn’t need to start any rumours that would destroy her chances of escaping this without a scandal.

She’s here to do a job, and she’s going to do it well. She doesn’t need any distractions.

He leaves her soon after that, and his parting remark of “have a good first day, Aelin” sticks with her, and she tries not to replay the way his voice had wrapped around her name.

Manon Blackbeak is watching them from across the room, and she arches one perfectly shaped eyebrow at Aelin. She ignores her; let her think what she wants, she’s surely professional enough not to gossip to any press, and stomps over to where Fenrys is chatting with one of the producers. It seems like a good enough place to start.

#rowaelin #rowaelin au #rowaelin fic #throne of glass #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #nobody does it like you do #ndilyd #im so nervous to post this lol #hope you all enjoy #cw: past drug abuse #cw: minor character death #cw: violence

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fa-headhoncho · 3 years

Text

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 2

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt/Background: After turning yourself in to the government following the events of CA:TWS, they lock you up for the crimes you committed during your time at Hydra. Spending years there until Captain America got you on parole during the blip to help fight Thanos. Now, after doing community service acts and helping the broken society, when they give the new Captain America the shield, you’re thrown back into a life you didn’t want.

Word Count: 1719

Reader: Female

Warning: parole officers? canon level violence, john walker

Author’s Note: uh, hi. i'm shit at fighting scenes so... Also, slow burn, I'm sorry. I'm a whore for slow burn fics. GIVE ME IDEAS FOR A TITLE PLEASE

Masterlist Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

=====

“So, how’d you end up here?” Walker screams over the loud roaring of the helicopter, trying to make conversation as the pilots drive you where you were going. You roll your eyes at him, did he really not do any research before recruiting you on this mission?

“You’re the one who cut my parole.” You scoff, not looking up to speak to him. You were too busy fiddling with the tactical gloves they gave you. The velcro sticking to the material of the ridiculous suit frustrated you, it was too tight. It matched Battlestar’s, red and blue but yours didn’t have a star on the side and his wasn’t as fitted. “Why did you, exactly? I haven’t been on a real mission since my Hydra days and you bring me into what? Taking down a terrorist organization that we have little to no information on?”

The Captain shakes his head, a small smile slipping onto his face. “You’re a good asset, a great addition to the team I’m building.” He simply answers before looking out of the open door of the copter.

You roll your eyes once again, if he thinks you’ll be a part of his team then he’s really in for it. This was just one favor you were going to do for him before you would be released out into the public again. You owed him this but you weren’t about to become a team with this imposter.

Deciding it would be better to not respond, you just vaguely nod your head. You weren’t about to tell him off in fear that he’d just snap his fingers and have you back into jail for not complying with him.

“They’re right there.” He suddenly gets up and holds onto the tether above for stability. The helicopter carefully lowers as he exits, throwing his shield before hopping down onto the truck.

Standing up, you lean over to get a better look to see who else was fighting. Anger bubbles up as you see Sam being pinned down and Bucky being restrained by masked figures. “You guys didn’t tell me those two were going to be here!” You turn to shout at Battlestar.

The dark-skinned man just shrugs, a sly grin on his face, “You wouldn’t have come.” He merely offers before jumping out and swinging in to help his friend. Letting out a frustrated groan, you follow him.

Using the rope to drop down, you land on the other semi where Sam is. Two of the masked people have him pinned down. They were too distracted with the two landing and throwing the shield around to notice you sneaking up behind one of them.

You swiftly kick right under the back of their knee causing them to fold back slightly. You take the advantage and spin, the roundhouse kick sending them off the side of the trailer. Sam looks up at you from below, a pained expression on his face.

“Oh no, not you too.” He sighs out in which you return with a sad smile. He lets out a groan before turning to deal with the other enemy holding his right arm down. You help him stand up just as Battlestar lands right beside Walker.

“Sam. John Walker, Captain America.” Walker decides this was a good time for introductions and sends the Avenger a salute.

“Lamar Hoskins.” His sidekick steps in after they do their little forearm bang. The two look at you, waiting for you to introduce yourself but you just glare at them.

“And that’s (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” He points to you.

“Yea, we know.” Bucky spits out, side-eyeing you. You don’t even need to look at him to know he was pissed off. The guilt starts to wash over you but you push it down. It wasn’t the time now to talk to him, you needed to focus on taking down these abnormally strong people.

“Looks like you guys can use some help.” The Captain continues before turning and hitting the redhead with his shield. The rest of the Flag Smashers pounce as well. The four that were on your side try to come at you causing Sam to try to fly away. Noticing that they were all targeting Sam, you unhook the bolas from the side of your suits.

Using the rope to swing the balls at the end around, you throw it to wrap around one of the guy’s bodies. It tightens around him and you give it a hard tug, sending him to the floor. They still manage to pull him back down and attack him.

The guy you were fighting grabs the rope and pulls you towards him, you let out a surprised squeal at his strength. You release your grip on the rope before he could tug you down to his level but the person you thought you knocked off wraps his arms around your shoulders.

You struggle against the man, his fingers digging into your shoulders would definitely leave bruises but you didn’t care. It’s been a long time since you’ve been out in the field like this and you were trying to think back to your Hydra training to figure out an escape.

The man you pulled down finally gets up and drags his feet over to you. Behind him you see Bucky jump over and help Sam with the two other Flag Smashers. The man gets close enough and you use the leverage the other has on your upper half to lift your legs and swing them around his neck and jerk your body to the side.

The movement causes the guy to release his hold on you, letting you and his partner fall off the side. You luckily catch the side of the metal, watching the guy roll onto the grass on the side of the road. You turn back to see the other guy hovering above, his foot coming up to step onto your fingers that were gripping on for dear life.

Just as he was about the step on them, you see Sam’s wings hit him off. Letting out a sigh of relief, you pull yourself back onto the roof of the trailer. Sam was still fighting off two of the Flag Smashers but Bucky was nowhere in sight.

Then you hear grunting from below so you peak your head over to see Bucky hanging on by the bottom of the truck with a guy trying to stomp his arm off. Sam seemed to be handling the one person on him so you decide to help the super-soldier first.

“Bucky! Hang on!” You call out to him, looking around to figure out a way to get him safely off the bar.

“That’s what I’m doing!” He yells back while tightening his grip inside of the torn metal.

You watch the new Captain America and Battlestar struggle slightly to keep the soldiers off of them but you weren’t too concern about them, Bucky was your main priority now. Taking out your knives, you throw one at the woman attacking Sam. It slightly stuns her before she rips it out and throws it aside. “Sam! Go get Bucky, I got this.” You demand and he just nods.

The woman turns to you as Sam flies off right before the woman plows through the road sign. She lets out a roar before charging at you. She swings her arm to hit you in the face but you dodge it. It didn’t take a scientist to realize that these people were super-soldiers so you knew that the last thing you wanted to do was take a blow from them.

The years of training with the former Winter Soldier have taught you well for this standoff. She tries to recover from the miss but you elbow her in the ribs making her go off balance for a few seconds. Taking the opportunity, you kick her chest to send her lying on her back.

You walk over the woman, scowling down at her before leaning down and sending a hard punch to her head, knocking her out. You peak over at the other two just as the gunshot goes off. The person behind Battlestar retracts but doesn’t loosen his grip on him. The other takes advantage of Walker being distracted and throws him off the back of the trailer.

The man jumps over to you and tries to wind up a punch but you barely dodge it, tripping over the woman you just knocked out. “Fuck,” You whisper out, eyes flicking from the man in front of you over to Battlestar getting tossed off like a ragdoll. The rest of the group turns to you, seeing you as the last person standing.

They get distracted as the Captain appears again, a sense of hope washes over you but he just gets shit on. They were easily attracted to him since he was the star of the show so they let the one guy handle you. You look straight past him as he takes his time to stalk over to you. These people were cocky and you couldn’t blame them. They just took out four well-known figures, well-known fighters, and were left with you.

It wasn’t an ideal situation and you needed to find a way out. You couldn’t even keep count of the super-soldiers since they kept popping up and you weren’t enhanced enough to take them all on nor were you about to get captured. Seeing the road sign approaching from behind the man sparks an idea in your head.

Making eye contact with the Flag Smasher, you throw your last tool past him. He watches it zoom past his head and looks at the sign approaching. He braces himself for the impact, busting through the metal before whipping back around to look at you. But you weren’t there.

You used your last bola to wrap around the metal bracing and use a steel grip to hold onto your end. Letting out a grunt at the rough pull as the rope drags you off the trailer to hang from the sign. You let out a sigh, watching until the soldiers and trucks are out of view before jumping down onto the ground.

This was a lot more complicated than Walker said it was going to be.

_____

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