#ok so I should go fuck myself???? lemme have just one (1) thing
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cant believe Im the oldest in my friend group but also the most ugly awkward and stupid like its so truly joever for me
#:(#love my friends I try to be as supportive as possible#ig lately it feels like they're trying to hide achievements from me#bc they think I'll feel bad about myself????#I remember last summer a friend said she was going to boston#I said cool have fun 🤗 and like months later I found out (through her sister) that she had flown there by herself to attend berklee#she was what 14???? at the time maybe 15 cant remember#Ive noticed some of u are 14#and equally as talented <3#now shes producing music for her own short films which is something Ive always wanted to get into#and she didnt even ask me for help </3#Im aware shes allowed to do stuff on her own without me#but its starting to feel like I'll never be able to do that myself#whenever I like something casually and bring it up to someone#they always go “omg thats so crazy I love that thing and Ive actually been doing it my whole life and Im a real professional”#ok so I should go fuck myself???? lemme have just one (1) thing
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gold rush | jjk (m)
>>pairing: jungkook x reader
>>genre: pwp, smut, college au (kinda), established relationship
>>word count: 5k+
>>warnings: oral (m/f), fingering (f), phone sex, normal sex, explicit sex, slapping tits, slapping, crying, degrading, dirty talk, all the sex stuff, jks a lil mean and condescending but it’s very cool and sexy
>>notes: hello! this is my first post on here :) it’s part of a longer scenario i’m just seeing how it’s received before posting the full length version~~
>>summary: jk comes back from a weekend away and he wants to show you just how much he missed you.
pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3
It’s a Saturday night and you’re laying in your boyfriends dorm room bed by yourself. You’re bored and alone because Jeongguk had an away tournament that was far enough to warrant a hotel for the weekend. Typically you would have tagged along like many of the students at your university, but you had had a test on Friday that you couldn’t miss. Which is why you found yourself wrapped in one of his t shirts, under his blanket scrolling absently through your phone not really paying attention to anything much, just going from app to app.
Due to the lack of anything better to do, you boredly slipped your hand under the waist band of your panties. Not particularly horny... just passing the time you would say. You casually ran your fingertips over your smooth lips before yanking your hand out, being struck with an idea. You quickly type a text to Jeongguk.
you :
hi
i’m touching myself rn
Short sweet and to the point. You nibble on your lip as you see the typing bubble pop up not even 5 seconds after it says ‘delivered’.
koo 🥴:
hi
pics ? 🥺
You roll your eyes. Two years of dating and that’s still how he responds.
you :
no way
wyd rn ??
koo 🥴:
:(
why not
i’m at dinner w my team
jimin and tae say hi
-insert pic-
You smile at the pic your boyfriend took of his friends. You were pretty close to all of the team but more so Taehyung and Jimin, seeing as you and Jeongguk would go on double dates with the couple quite often.
you:
tell them i said hi and that they should kiss 😌
Immediately he responds.
koo 🥴:
they said only if u send me pics 😌
You laugh before snapping a selfie to send to him.
you:
you didn’t even ask them but ok 🙄
koo 🥴:
ur in my shirt while jerking off ?
😩 🤌 🏻
pics PLASE
PLEASE**
You giggle and you’re about to respond when you get a facetime call from him.
“You’re so impatient,” You scold. From the looks of it, he’s in a bathroom stall.
“And you’re so mean.” He pouts. “Lemme see ‘em.”
You think about being annoying and making him wait more, but he looks so handsome and hopeful that you just can’t bring yourself to tease much. You grab the bottom of his loose t shirt and pull it up and tuck it under your chin. The cool air of the room makes your nipples harden and you grab one of your tits in your free hand and squeeze and shake it gently. “These?” You ask sweetly.
His eyes are hooded and he subconsciously runs his tongue over his lips before biting the plump bottom one softly. He’s blushing when he says, “Mhmm, they’re so pretty. Will you lick them for me, baby?”
You groan. “You know I hate doing that.”
He swallows, and fusses with his hair for a second before his hand goes out of frame again. “I know it just- makes me so hard, I love watching you do it. You don’t have to though.”
You sigh and grip under your boob, and do your best to get your nipple to your mouth. They aren’t small but at the same time they aren’t the biggest so its kinda tough, but if you really try you can get it done. Once you swirl your tongue around your nipple, you hear a soft moan come from your phone speaker and you feel it go straight to your pussy. You suck on your nipple a little more before pulling off with a loud pop!
“Are you hard?” You ask, a slight shake to your voice as you get more and more turned on. He nods. “Are you touching?” He nods again. “Show me.”
He doesn’t hesitate. He pulls his sweater up and holds it between his teeth so you can see his toned stomach as well as the bulge in his pants. He runs his hand over it, toying with the tip some, making soft muffled noises fall from his lips. His stomach tenses a little bit.
You put your hand down your panties again, and tease a little at your clit. “You look so good, I wish you weren’t so far away...” You whine quietly.
Jeongguk groans and brings his face back into view. “I know, baby. I can’t even stay here with you to help or coach will get suspicious. We are supposed to be team bonding before the final game tomorrow.” He rolls his eyes. “I’ve got to will this boner away and go back out there.” He sounds like it pains him as much as it pains you to finish off alone.
“Take it out really quick, just for a second,” You say quickly before he goes.
He scowls playfully. “I really can’t stay, so just a little.”
You lick your lips and nod quickly, rubbing your fingers on your clit a little faster.
He gets the angle right and unbuttons his pants and pulls his hard cock out just enough for him to stroke up and down. He groans once he gets a hand around himself at the same time that you let out a high pitch moan.
Jeongguks cock is so pretty. It’s fat and plump and pink. Shiny at the tip where he’s already leaking. He always gets so wet for you, just like you get wet for him. His hand wrapped around himself is truly a sight. His long slender fingers moving up and down before the whole hand grips around his girth. He’s thick and long and the thought of him filling you up makes you whine and your pussy pulse.
“Are you touching yourself baby?” He whispers.
You nod. “Yes, yeah... please come home. Right now.”
He hums on a laugh. “Show me how wet that pretty pussy gets for me.”
You swirl your fingers around your wetness before bringing the glistening digits up into view of the camera. He groans and his head falls back before putting the camera back down to his cock to show you how fast he’s stroking.
“You get that wet for me even though I’m miles and miles away? How slutty baby... How do you taste hmm? Sweet like when I last tasted you just a couple of days ago?”
You’re just about to suck your fingers into your mouth for him when you hear a door open through your phone speaker.
“Kook? It’s time to stop jerking off and participate in the bonding activities, Captain .”
You can tell from the deep voice that it’s Taehyung that came to get him. You giggle quietly.
“Yeah yeah, I’m coming give me a minute.” He says through the bathroom stall. He sighs, and gives you a playful eye roll like he’s exasperated.
“Don’t cum while I’m here, and be thankful that it was me that came to get you and not coach. Bye y/n!” He says loudly.
“Bye Tae!” You squeak as you hear the door close.
Jeongguk groans, but smiles lazily at you. “Guess I gotta go.”
You hum. “Guess you do Captain.”
He laughs a little as he does his pants back up, tucking his now mostly soft cock away. “I love you. Cheer me on tomorrow. I’ll see you after, but I probably won’t get back to the dorms till late. Are you gonna be there still or are you going back to yours?”
“I’ll wait for you. Score a goal for me, and text me later. Love you.” You smooch at the screen and Jeongguk does the same before the call ends.
And with that you are once again left alone, but a lot more horny than before the talk. So you do what any sensible person would do.
You pull up the hub.
~~~
Jeongguk walks into his dorm room around 10 pm, and the first thing he sees is you, right where you were when you hung up the night before after your little facetime sesh. The only difference is that you’re wearing a different shirt, still his, and you have ice cream in your hand and your laptop set up on your lap a show playing in the background.
At the sound of the door opening your eyes find his and you quickly set your food down on his night stand, and fling the covers off your lap, paying no mind to the mac book that is now buried somewhere under his comforter, before squealing and flinging yourself into his arms.
He grabs you easily, bags dropping to the floor, hands under your butt to keep you hoisted. You wrap you legs around his tiny waist and smush your lips to his cheek and mumble a distorted, “I missed you.”
“Okay so kiss me about it,” He says back, eyes glinting and lips puckered.
You giggle, placing your hands on his cheeks, angling your head to slot your lips between his. He parts easily for you, and starts to walk you both back to his bed before he drops you where he found you. You bounce lightly and take a second to take him in.
He’s wearing oversized comfy clothes, grey sweats and a big white long sleeve shirt. His long hair is soft and shiny, falling over his pretty face delicately. He must have had a shower at the hotel after the game. He looks soft and oh so sweet. You just want to devour him. From the looks of the semi in his pants, he’s feeling the same way about you.
“Ah, already getting hard for me?” You coo, hand cupping him over his sweats. He pushes against your palm, unashamed. “You just got here baby.”
He shrugs looking down at you. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you all weekend. I had to rub one out in the bathroom room last night as soon as we got back to the hotel. Tae and Jimin were right outside.”
You nuzzle into the material of his sweats feeling his cock quickly become fully erect as you mouth at it. His hand comes down to cup your cheek, run through your hair. “I watched porn after we got off the phone.”
“Did you?” He asks, shifting away for a second so he can pull his sweats down, leaving him in his briefs. You see a little wet patch where the tip is. You suck lightly over the material and he moans loud and clear for you. He sounds so much prettier in person, over the phone just doesn’t compare.
“Yeah, came so hard. Was thinking about you and me.”
“Fuck. Did you make a mess all over my sheets?”
You shake your head as you slowly pull the waist band of his briefs down his hard cock. Once it’s free it bounces in front of your face, flushed and begging for your mouth. You stroke lightly while saying, “No, but I did find something that I wanna try.” You flick your tongue under the head and the hand in your hair tightens and pushes slightly. You part your lips and let him in.
“Mmm, you can tell me all about it once I’m done with you. I can’t wait any longer baby. Swallow me,” He moans, both hands going to the back of your head and pulling you farther onto his cock. He jerks when he feels you swallow around the tip. “So fucking good.” He sighs.
You let him have his way, fucking your throat a little, although he’s much gentler than he usually is when he does it, and he does it for a much shorter time. He must be tired from the weekend, or he must have something else in mind for tonight.
“Lay back baby.” He says when he pulls out of your throat, crawling on the mattress. He finds your discarded laptop and places it under the bed out of the way. You both remove the rest of your clothes before you do as he says and he settles down between your legs.
You figure since he got hard literally on arrival, that he wouldn’t waste time with teasing, would get right to the good part. But no. He takes his sweet time kissing, licking and biting at your thighs, squeezing them roughly in his hands. He nuzzles into your skin flicking the lightest lick over you pussy lips before pulling back and blowing a little. You gasp and roll your hips, trying to get him closer to where you wanted, spreading your legs even farther apart, presenting yourself to him. But he’s having none of that.
“Stop fucking squirming,” He groans before you feel his grip tighten on your hips. But still he doesn’t go where you want him, so you fight against his hold.
“Stop teasing then,” you whine with a scowl.
He bites at your inner thigh. “Hush baby.”
You huff and hit your tiny fists on the bed, frustrated and fussy. “Make me.”
Jeongguk stills and you gulp. He glances up from between your thighs, and he quirks an eyebrow at you.
“What was that?” He asks, much too calmly.
“I said make me.” You whisper poutily.
He sighs and sits up. You get to whine for just a second before you’re yelping and squeezing your legs shut. He just smacked your pussy.
“Shut up.” He says. He doesn’t sound angry, very casual in fact. He rubs his hands over your legs, easing them back open. “Y’know y/n, I had a very long weekend. Travelled hours to play 4 games in two days. Travelled hours back.” He’s running his fingertips over your pussy lips, smearing around the slick you know is pouring out of you. You shiver. You love it when he gets like this. You love it every time your guys are together, but when he’s extremely one way or the other, extremely dominant or extremely submissive? It just makes your entire body burn and your pussy ache. “I even scored a goal for you in the final.” He glances at you, finally sneaking his finger between your folds, he grazes your clit and you shiver, legs spreading even more. “All I wanted to do was get home and take care of you... Make my girl feel good...” He’s rubbing circles around the little nub and your hips slowly start to rock into his touch, breathing heavy from the pleasure. His girl. Yes. You’re his girl. You tell him so.
“Really?” He asks. You nod. He hums. “That’s funny because all I see here is a brat .” He spits out, before another smack lands on your sensitive cunt.
You cry out, trying to close your legs again, but he holds them open. He settles between them again and says sternly, “Now be good. I’m going to do it how I want. Do you understand?” You whisper a tiny yes. He sighs like he’s relieved that you’re not going to be difficult and put up much of a fight, so he can finally do what he’s been wanting to for days. He pushes back on your thighs so your cunt it fully exposed to him, and he spits on it before rubbing his fingers around the sticky mess. Every time he rubs over your clit you twitch, but you’re trying to be good.
“So fucking messy baby. So gross.” He says sweetly as presses his tongue flat on your opening before licking all the way to your clit. He moans at the taste of you despite his words just a moment ago and your eyes roll back. He’s in a mean mood now. And you’re gushing for it. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty baby... because your little cunt is so nasty , just leaking all over the place. I’ve barely even touched her, and she’s dripping down to my sheets. How did you manage to keep them clean while I was gone hmm?” He doesn’t let you respond, quickly sucking your clit into his mouth suctioning it just a bit before flicking the tip of his tongue over it quickly.
“Ah, f-fuck-“ You gasp. You raise yourself onto your elbows so you can watch. He hums around your clit before he flicks his eyes to you. You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut before falling to your back again, not able to handle the gaze he gives you.
He pulls off and uses his fingers to open your lips and pull the hood back before making his tongue flat and licking slowly over your exposed clit.
“Oh my god- That’s- that feels so good baby,” You say between breaths. Your legs are starting to get a slight tremble to them but still, you pull them farther back, making yourself as open as you can for his tongue.
He hums and then smiles, biting at your clit gently, making you jolt. “Feels good baby?” He rubs his fingers all over your core again. You nod and he says, “Could have felt good before and not had spanks if you weren’t so fucking bad.” He swats your cunt again lightly, before sighing and kissing your clit sweetly. Your head is spinning from the switches in his mood but you love it. Love that you don’t know what to expect when he slides his fingers into you. He moans and rests his head on your inner thigh, watching as his fingers slip in and out of your heat. He looks like he’s in awe of your cunt, watching as it clenches and sucks his fingers in. He looks so lovely between your legs.
“Always so fucking tight, can’t wait to get my cock in here.” When he says ‘here’ he curls his fingers inside of you and your back arches off of the bed, and you moan his name loudly. “That’s it baby...” He whispers against your core before he starts to thrust his fingers into you, curling on the pull out. He adds his mouth and you start to shake. Your hands find his hair and you pull him closer, feel him lick and suck at your clit like its the best thing he’s ever tasted. He moans while he eats your pussy. And he has the nerve to call you nasty. He’s absolutely filthy.
“I- close-“ You choke out, relishing in the sloppy wet pleasure that his mouth and fingers are giving you.
He says ‘mhmm’ against your clit before pulling away to get out a quick, “Fuck. Yeah you are, cum for me.” and then he’s diving right back in, focusing on where you’re most sensitive, your clit and your g spot.
“There baby, yeah- fuck , don’t stop ,” You whine quietly as your body tenses. Your legs are shaking out of control, before the string in you snaps and you cry out. Your thighs close around his head and you grind your cunt into his face riding out your orgasm before it gets too much and your try to squirm away. But Jeongguk holds you there until you’re almost crying from the overstimulation.
You pull at his hair, begging him to stop, and finally, he does. He pulls away from your messy cunt, and lays himself on top of you before kissing you deep, wasting no time sticking his tongue in your mouth so you can taste yourself on him. You moan and twine your fingers through his long hair, arching your body to get as close to him as you can. You feel him start to rut his cock over your sensitive core, and gasp. He’s so hard, you can feel him throb against you. He pulls away and grips his cock at the base, lining it up with your pussy before sliding it up and down, teasing your clit even more, mixing his precum with his spit and your slick. He focuses his frenulum on your clit, and his hips twitch. His head rolls back, and his mouth opens in a silent moan. He pulls back and when he looks at you again, he looks wild. His eyes are dark with desire and his pupils are blown. His hands grip at your body like he can’t get enough of you. You’ll have pretty little bruise blossoms all over your body in the morning. Finally, the tip of his cock breaches your center.
You’re so hot, and tight, and so fucking wet around him, that Jeongguk can’t keep the moan that falls from his lips locked away as he pushes inside of you. He pushes all the way to the hilt, you can feel him flush against your clit. Your mouth falls open in pleasure, but your eyes never leave him, the first thrust always being your favorite. Finally getting filled up like you wanted. You can feel him in your belly, heat pooling there as he lets you adjust to his size. Sometimes he likes press his hand into your tummy while he fucks you. Says can feel his cock splitting you open. You watch the man above you part his lips and furrow his brows in pleasure while he does his best to not go too fast, tries not to thrust into you wildly like he so wants to.
He’s leaning over you, hands on the side of your head. You run your palms up his sides, whispering, “I’m good, you feel so good. Give it to me please.” You lean up and press a kiss to his collarbone.
He’s quick as he hikes your legs up and hooks them on his shoulders. He rests some of his weight on you, bending you in half as he starts moving his hips. He pulls out to just the tip before slamming back in with one swift motion. Your hands claw at his back, the angle he has you in allowing him to reach even deeper. Gasps are punched out of you as he starts to set his brutal, sharp pace, not forgetting how bad your were earlier. He’s going to make sure you feel every inch of him for days.
“Oh my god, fuck. That’s so fucking good, Jeongguk. Please fuck me,” Your moans are high pitched and close to sobs.
He leans back some and spreads your legs wide, hands on your ankles to keep them open and he looks down slowing his thrust to watch as he slides into your little cunt. Your pussy is swollen and pink around his cock. He can see your arousal shiny on the base of his cock. “Fuuuck,” He moans as he closes his eyes basking in the feel of you clenching tight around him. He’s slowly pulling his cock from you, only for you pussy to pull him right back in. “This pussy was made to take my cock, huh?” He says speeding up. You nod and tell him, “Yes only your cock gets me this wet, this fucking hot.” He pumps his cock into you hard enough for you to get jostled, so your words come out in choppy and incoherent moans.
The way he’s fucking you makes your tits bounce, perky and pretty. He growls and leans down to suck a nipple into his mouth. You arch into his touch, cute little mewls falling from your lips as his tongue flicks over the small bud. You brush his long hair out of his eyes, holding him to your tit as he makes goosebumps rise to your skin.
“That feels so nice baby,” You say. It’s quiet and desperate, you head thrown back, neck extended and bared to him.
His eyes flick up to look at you, still playing with your nipples. He sees you bared in submission and can’t help the hand that rubs up your torso all the way to your neck. Just begging to have a hand around it. He pulls off your your tit, letting one of your legs fall to around his waist and you moan loud and long as the picks up his pace again.
Your favorite position. He knows how to fuck you any and every way, but like this he fucks you just right, making you fall apart in no time at all. The hand around your throat tightens at the sides, making the moans and whines that come out of your mouth high pitched and airy. The lack of blood flow to your brain makes you feel lightheaded and fuzzy, almost euphoric as he fucks you into submission. His free hand smacks your tits lightly, and you clench from the dull pain as they jiggle. Jeongguk swears.
“God your pussy is just milking my cock, not even letting me pull out all the way. Such a greedy , selfish little cunt. Can’t get enough of this cock filling her up.” He grips your hips with both hands and watches your pussy swallow his cock.
You giggle, soft and delirious as you feel the first signs of your orgasm pool in the pit of your belly, right where Jeongguk’s cock is pounding into you.
“You think that’s funny?” He questions. He grips your jaw and makes you look at him. Your cheeks are smushed and your eyes water from the hold he has on you. “You think being a selfish, greedy little slut is funny?” He presses against the side of your face, biting at your cheek like he just needs to sink his teeth into something to let out some of the pent of feelings coursing through his veins.
“I just love it. Love your cock so much,” You whimper.
Jeongguk pulls back so he can look into your eyes again. He looks at you mockingly. “You love it?” His voice is condescending and it makes your pussy drip. “You fucking love it?” He looks crazed as his hips jackhammer into your cunt, the slaps of his skin meeting yours ringing loud and clear throughout the dorm. Bless his poor neighbors.
“Yes, yes I fucking love it,” God you’re going to cum.
He feels how close you are, sees the way your legs are trembling. He’s moaning when he says, “Shit baby, show me how much you love it. Show me, make that little pussy cream all over my fat cock.”
You nod helplessly as your body jerks in his hold. You can feel your pussy contract over his cock as he brings you the precipice of your pleasure. Tears fall from your eyes from how overwhelmingly good it feels.
Jeongguk fucks into you a few more times, the last of your orgasm leaving your body, as you listen to the higher pitched moans falling from his lips at a faster rate than before. He gasps as he pulls out and positions himself over your heaving chest, cock right in your face as he fists it fast.
“Fuck, open you mouth,” He says, voice dripping with pleasure. You do, smiling, tongue out. He groans deep before his hips jerk and he whispers, “I’m gonna cum,” with heavy lust filled eyes. You feel the first shot of cum land on your cheek.
“Mmm yeah, cum all over my face,” You hum, blissed out.
He milks every last drop of his load out, and you suckle on the tip until he’s whining and shivering, pulling back with an overwhelmed, overly sensitive gasp.
He catches his breath for a second before he gets up and makes his way to bathroom. He sees you about to wipe the cum off your face and says, “Wait a sec.”
You sit patiently, criss cross apple sauce, cum on your face, eyes red and wet from the tears you shed, until he comes back with a wet wash cloth in one hand. He makes a stop at his bags on the floor and fishes his phone out.
He sets the wash cloth on the night stand next to your forgotten, melted ice cream and pulls up the camera.
“Smile baby,” He says, softly giggling.
You do, big and radiant, throwing up a little finger heart. You hear the shutter a few times before his phone takes the place of the wash cloth on the night stand. You reach for it to clean yourself, but he pulls away, wanting to do it himself.
You smile as he concentrates and gently cleans up his mess from your face. His tongue peaks out of his lips and you peck him. He stills before scowling with a small smile, and continuing.
“You look so pretty when you have my nut all over you face,” He says absently. His thumb brushes under you eye. “When you cry too.” He cups your jaw and runs his thumb over your cheek bone. “I wasn’t too mean was I? Too rough?” His eyes search yours. You shake your head.
“No I like it when you get like that, ‘s sexy,” You say wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him so that you both are laying down. You wrap around him like a koala. He yawns and settles in your hold, snuggling into the bed.
“Okay good. You can be mean next time,” He sounds sleepy.
You scoff, knowing that you both know that when you take control it’s in a softer way. Degrading and being mean was his thing, what you liked. Jeongguk liked to be praised.
“Yeah okay,” You say sarcastically. “You’d cry in a non sexy way if I was even half as mean to you as you are to me,” You scratch at his scalp and he purrs.
“I’m sensitive,” He whines. Another yawn. “And sleepy. Shhhh.”
“Jeongguk wait,” You say.
“Hmm?” He says already close to knocking out.
“I wanna eat your ass next time.”
“Mhmm, okay. Now sleep please. Turn off the lamp.” He turns over, wanting to be the little spoon.
You know he didn’t actually listen to what you said, but that would not stop you from holding the ‘yes’ he gave you over his head in the morning when he’s more coherent. You flick off the lamp, and throw an arm over his waist. He snuggles back into you, fitting his body against yours. You kiss his shoulder and say, “Okay, remember that you said yes in the morning.”
All you get in response is a soft snore.
-------------------
and there it is! let me know if u want me to finish and post the whole thing! comments and feedback are appreciated!
part 2 here!
part 3 here!
#wkcnet#btswriterscollective#thebtswritersclub#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook#jungkook fic#bts smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic recs#jeon jungkook#bangtansorciere#btswritersguild#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenarios#bangtanuniversity#smutcentralnet#kwritersworldnet#bts fanfic#bangtansmutcentral#networkbangtan#armiesnet
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This X-Mas (Spooky X Reader)
“'Cause this Christmas, will be the
Greatest time of your life from me
I ain't asking for the diamond rings
I ain't really got a list of expensive things
I just want you to myself while the children sleeps
Santa baby, would you make a little time for me?” - Chris Brown feat. Ella Mai
A/N: hey y’all! I know I kinda abandoned you but being in College during a panoramic (Twitter joke) but I finished! I graduated undergrad so it’s lit! Even tho I don’t really care for Christmas or the holidays and I dislike Christmas music, I love this song and since it’s been a while, I might as well give y’all a Christmas gift soooo Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁❤️
************
You were not a fan of the holidays.
It’s not like you never were. You used to be but as you grew up, you grew a disdain for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years', all that.
The most wonderful time of the year, your ass.
From November 1st up until January 2nd, every year, you were annoyed and couldn’t wait for this time of the year to be over. You didn’t like it and if you had to hear “All I Want from Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey one more fucking time, someone was gonna get kicked where they’re more jolly.
You were relaxing on the couch when you heard a knock on your apartment door. You announced you were coming and opened the door to 3 boys by the names of Cesar, Jamal, and Ruby.
“Hey, boys! What brings-“
“BATHROOM!” Jamal ran past you and straight to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Ruby shook his head and Cesar gave a nervous laugh.
“Would you believe we were just in the neighborhood?”
You pursed your lips. “Nope.”
Ruby sighed out of frustration. “We need help getting Christmas gifts for our.....” He swallowed hard. You closed your eyes.
“You’re still struggling to call Jasmine your girlfriend?”
“SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!”
“Yeah yeah yeah.” You waved him off and right then, Jamal stepped out the bathroom, relieved.
“Whew, my bladder was full! Where you get that hand soap, Y/N?! Smells lovely!”
You rolled your eyes, irritated. “At Bath and Body Works where y’all should get gifts for your girlfriends.” You narrowed your eyes at Ruby, who shuddered at the G-word. “Now if you excuse me, I was enjoying my alone time.”
Cesar stopped the door from closing. “Wait. Didn’t you say you were leaving today to go spend Christmas with your family?”
Shit. “Uh yeah. Duh. I needed alone time before I left.”
“I don’t see any bags packed.” Ruby indicated, skeptical.
“Or an airline ticket on the desk. Yeah, I noticed!” Jamal added, folding his arms.
You looked at the 3 teenage boys who were waiting for you to confess. You sighed deeply, knowing the jig is up.
“Fine, 3 wise men!” You stated with a tone dripping in sarcasm. “I’m not going home. I never was going home. The reason why is because I don’t care for the holidays. I stopped a long time ago. It’s never been special to me. Also, I don’t have a close-knit family. Actually, we’re dysfunctional as hell. This isn’t the most wonderful time of the year for me. I lied so you guys wouldn’t know the truth, now are you happy?”
Jamal had a dismal expression on his face and pulled you to his chest. “Now I see what the Scrooge looks like as a black woman.”
You pushed him off and Cesar grabbed your wrist before you could hit him.
“Does Spooky know?”
You shook your head. “Nope and it’s gonna stay that way. I mean it, Cesar. Don’t say shit to your brother about this.”
Were you really depending on the little brother of your gang member friend that’s not really a friend but he’s kind of your boo to keep his mouth shut?
“Cesar told me you lied.” That was what Spooky said when you opened the door the next morning which was Christmas. You sucked your teeth loudly, disappointed that your dumbass trusted a 15-year-old who feared his brother.
“I should really kick your brother’s ass.”
He smirked at your comment. “Talk to me, Mami. Why you not fucking with Christmas?”
You left the door, letting him outside and he closed the door behind him. “Because it’s annoying as hell.”
“Nah, that ain’t it.”
You turned to Spooky with your arms folded. “Why do you even care, Oscar? It’s not like your thug ass cares for holidays and shit.”
Spooky remained unfazed by your attitude and you calling him by his government. When you first met him, he would be pissed at that. Even tried scaring you but it didn’t work. Eventually, he got used to it and only allowed you to call him Oscar.
“You’re wrong and I’ll show you. Get dressed.”
You were feeling dangerous. “And what if I don’t?” You responded with a roll of the neck.
Spooky let a dry laugh that scared you yet turned you on at the same time. Damn. You started to bite your lip then pulled it back. He got dangerously close and stared you down.
“Do you really wanna know, Princesa?”
Yes. No. Shit.
You got out of his face and got dressed as you were told. You’ll let him win this round. You got into his car and he drove back to his house where Cesar and his girlfriend Monse were making a mess in the kitchen.
“Hey Y/N!” Monse greeted you. Cesar looked at you nervously.
“Hey Y/N, how’s-“
You held your hand up. “Save it, snitch!”
“He forced it out of me!” The young boy pleaded and you rolled your eyes in response.
“Whatever. What are y’all even doing?” You asked, confused and disgusted by the sight of the kitchen and glancing at Spooky’s face, he was not too pleased either.
“Trying to do a Christmas brunch but somebody doesn’t wanna listen to the instructions.” Monse gestured towards her boyfriend with a roll of her neck, causing Cesar to groan.
You couldn’t help but giggle at the two. “Alright lemme help so I can fix this. You!” You gestured towards Spooky. “You’re helping too!”
“Nahhhh cooking ain’t my thing.”
“Well Christmas ain’t my thing but I’m here. Now throw on an apron, cholo. You’re on bacon duty!”
You couldn’t lie. Making Christmas brunch with the kids was fun as hell. You found yourself smiling and giggling during the cooking and eating. You even caught Spooky staring at you a couple of times. You pecked his lips just because he looked so adorable but if you told him that, he’ll turn into a jackass. When the boys left to get something from God knows where you were left alone with Monse. You didn’t know too much about the girl but figured you could get to know her more.
“So Monse...you’re spending Christmas with your boyfriend.”
“So are you.”
Your eyes narrowed at her response. “1. Spooky is not my boyfriend and 2. I was forced here. Christmas is bullshit.”
“I love Christmas. Even though I don’t remember the last time I actually spent it with my dad.” Monse shrugged bending over and fix her shoelaces. That caught your attention.
“Wait, you’ve had shitty Christmases and you still love Christmas?!”
She shrugged again. “Well yeah. My dad is always away for Christmas and I don’t have my mom so I’ve always dreamt of doing Christmas stuff with the people I love. When I met the boys, not to sound corny but my dreams came true. Another reason why I need to keep the group together.”
You were lost for words. “Wow, I’m sorry, Monse.”
“It’s ok. Hey, I think I hear the boys coming back.”
The boys revealed themselves and Cesar announced that you guys were being invited to have Christmas dinner with Jamal’s family which was great because you didn’t want to cook.
“I’m telling you marmalade is better than jelly. I don’t wanna hear it!” Jamal declared during dinner. A debate broke out between marmalade and jelly which really entertained you. Jamal’s family was funny and so welcoming to you, a stranger. It felt weird to you that they were showing so much love to you, a stranger. Oscar held your hand throughout the whole dinner which did something to your stomach. You don’t wanna say butterflies. Maybe it’s gas.
When the group stopped by Ruby’s house to pick him up for “friendsmas”, his grandma pulled you aside with a serious look on her face.
“Open your heart, mama.”
You gave her a confused look. “What?”
“You closed your heart. Open it. Even if it’s to Papi Chulo over there. “ she gestured towards Oscar who was lighting up a cigarette and looked back at you. “Open it to Christmas. To any holiday. Just....open it.”
You kept that in mind as you went with the others back to the house for the kids to engage in their “friendsmas”.
“I’ve never heard “Friendsmas.” You muttered as Spooky handed you a glass of wine and you watched the kids from the doorway.
Oscar shrugged taking a swig of his Corona. “Well you hate Christmas so I’m not surprised.”
You elbowed him in his side and he began to laugh in response. “I don’t hate Christmas. I just never found joy in the holidays but now I do.” You looked at him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you. Thank you for making this Christmas special for me.”
Oscar began to grin and pulled something from behind his back. “It’s not over yet, hyna.”
You gazed at the blue velvet rectangular box and opened it slowly to reveal a silver chain that said “Oscar” You looked up at him, speechless.
“Spooky, I....I.....”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just put on my necklace and be mine.” The gangsta in front of you took a deep breath. “I love you, Y/N.”
Your eyes were as big as saucers. “You....you do?”
“Yes, girl he do! It was so obvious!” Jasmine’s voice broke through the moment and everyone glared at her. Her mouth formed an O. “Oooh sorry! I forgot we were supposed to be acting like we weren’t paying attention. My bad!”
You shook your head and felt a surge of love and confidence. You loved this man. You have for a long time but never admitted it because...your heart was closed. Damn. Ruby’s crazy grandma ain’t so crazy after all.
“I love you too, Oscar.” You pulled him in for a long passionate kiss and the crew clapped in excitement.
“Girl put your back in it! You’re under the mistletoe!” Jasmine yelled again.
Ruby started. “Jasmine-“
“Shut up and kiss me!” She grabbed him by his collar, planting a kiss on his lips.
When you finally pulled away from your kiss with Spooky, you smiled up at him and his expression was matching yours. You spoke up through your grin:
“I’ll be damned. It is the most wonderful time of the year.”
A/N: Cheesy as fuckkkkk I know but Christmas is all about the cheese if we’re gonna be honest. I hope you enjoyed it! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, y’all! ❤️🎄🎁
Tags: @karmawaelualani @chaneajoyyy @ctrlszn @witchything @sabrinafey @penguinpower17889 @robingreysantos @namjoonwatcheshentai @pananegra @bloatedandlonly @blackmissfrizzle @chonisberonica @flamingweasley @cynthetic @momobaby227 @this-glitter-pussay @beyondprincess @joyrivh
#Oscar Diaz#oscar diaz x reader#oscar diaz x black reader#oscar diaz imagine#oscar diaz x black! reader#spooky diaz#spooky diaz fanfic#spooky x reader#spooky diaz imagine#spooky diaz x black! reader#on my block#on my block fic#on my block fanfiction#on my block fanfic#omb fanfiction
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[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 5
[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU]
[She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]
Words : 6269
Archive of our own
Warning : Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Control / Stranger / Flirting / Aftercare / Awkwardness …
If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask
– Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4
You: Sup doc, got home safely?
[You sent an attachment]
I chuckled for a second, making myself laugh at the picture of the crazy scientist from Back to the Future I had sent. Then when I looked at it more than five seconds, I just regretted it. “I should have flirted. I should have asked him if he was free soon. But I did that. Wow.” Gathering my stuff, I was expecting him to be asleep but received an answer in no time.
Trafalgar Law 😷: I’ll admit it’s creative real first text. But don’t send me that shit again, I’m not an old man.
You: Hey, it’s hilarious. You mad because you asked me to call you doc and now you regret it.
Trafalgar Law 😷: I just hope you won’t see that in your head when you’ll think of me, it can easily become a turn off, I think.
You: Damn, what if I’m into older men?
Trafalgar Law 😷: Lucky for you I’m older, then. Why are you still awake?
Trafalgar Law 😷: You should sleep, it’s late and you seemed tensed the entire evening.
You: You’re worried about me? How cute, I thought you were just looking to dick me down.
You: But I’m going to sleep soon, don’t worry hot stuff, I was just showering before bed.
You: Who knows, maybe I’ll dream of you 😉
I read my message over, and over and as I saw him type and stop a few times I was quick to send another one.
You: Yeah, ignore that. I’m tired, I’m not pushy promised. But you should sleep too, beauty sleep and all.
Trafalgar Law 😷: Depending on the kind of dreams you’re having, I’ll gladly join you.
Trafalgar Law 😷: You’re cute. I’ll sleep in a few. I still have some things to do, I’ll be sure to send you a text in the morning to ask you what you dreamed of.
You: Right, bold of you to assume I remember my dream. And that I’d share them with you.
You: But please go to bed, it’s getting super late.
[Trafalgar Law 😷sent an attachment]
Trafalgar Law 😷: I’m in bed, don’t worry.
It was stupid, but I did laugh. He was sitting against his pillows, the simple black bed panel behind him. His hair was a lot messier than usual, but he did not look sleepy one bit. And he was still wearing his dress shirt, which clearly was in no way a pajama.
You: Funny. You’re a funny guy Trafalgar Law, wow. You’re lucky you’re hot
You: You’re still fully dressed, that’s not going to sleep to me.
Trafalgar Law 😷: If you want to see me naked so bad, you have to work for it.
Trafalgar Law 😷: I did say I’d enjoy you on your knees, it seems like a good place to start. But, all in due time, right?
Chuckling at his text, I bid him a good night without replying to his innuendo which was more than an innuendo, really. Hopefully, an unspoken promise of a goodtime. I left the bathroom feeling a bit funny inside and put the toy away before sitting back on the bed. I was wearing a large shirt so that I could show my legs if the HandSurgeon asked and sat with my legs crossed on the bed before typing.
Edelweiss: Back!
HandSurgeon: Your lap is pretty red; how does it feel?
Edelweiss: it’s alright, a bit sore but I like it, it reminds me of yeah… the discipline so yeah, it’s ok
HandSurgeon: Cute, you enjoyed it quite a lot. Maybe you could take more next time if you feel like it.
HandSurgeon: But it’d mean you’d have disobeyed, which you won’t do. Correct?
Edelweiss: yes, I won’t. Sorry…
HandSurgeon: It’s alright, doll.
HandSurgeon: Is there something you enjoyed more this session? Or did not at all?
Trying to remember the things he had said during the session, I was going to tell him that everything was good until I remembered that small thing he said, that I did not particularly enjoy. I didn’t know if he was going to tell me to just get on with it and try to enjoy it or anything but trusting he wouldn’t get mad I wrote down.
Edelweiss: I really enjoyed your voice… that’s for sure but I didn’t enjoy being called a bitch in heat?
Edelweiss: it was alright right now though, but I don’t know, I didn’t vibe.
Edelweiss: sorry if you’re more of a degrader than praiser
HandSurgeon: I am sorry, I am indeed more used to be a bit rougher with my partner. I’ll be more careful next time, don’t hesitate to tell me if you don’t like something I do.
HandSurgeon: This is an exchange, we’re both in to enjoy it and have fun. And while I usually degrade, I am very much enjoying telling you how good you are. Even more so seeing how well you react.
HandSurgeon: You did good telling me your color, very good.
HandSurgeon: I believe edging was not in your list, but how did you enjoy it?
Edelweiss: soooo frustrating! And embarrassing to beg alright? But in a good way I guess… a very good way
Pondering a bit more, I was curious. If we were giving feedbacks and asking questions, I could give it a go.
Edelweiss: were you annoyed? That I touched myself.
HandSurgeon: Yes. I was. If I had you next to me, I would have brought you to my bed. I would have had you kneeling in the center, with that egg still inside you. The had you stripped down naked and would have looked at you. If you had moved, I’d strike you down. Simple.
HandSurgeon: You’d be begging in no time, really.
Edelweiss: it does sound kinda interesting though
Edelweiss: I’d definitely be up to it if you’d enjoy it
HandSurgeon: I’m sure you’d take it like very well, adding a blindfold to the mix would be even better.
HandSurgeon: You wouldn’t know when I’d strike. Jumping on the bed at the littlest touch. Goosebumps all over that pretty body of yours.
HandSurgeon: Running the tip of my whip over your skin. Barely grazing it. Then gripping the back of your neck and sliding my fingers through your hair. Pulling your head back to see that needy face of yours.
I wanted to read more of him, see what else he’d do to me. I wanted to do something again. While my sex was sore, I could also feel the throbbing coming back and fuck was I ready to ask him if he had time to do it again. My body must have been moving on the screen, since I saw the new message from the dom.
HandSurgeon: Stop fidgeting. There won’t be another session tonight, doll. I have to finish working, and you…
HandSurgeon: Well, you need to eat something and drink some water. Go get some food. We can hang up if you want, or you can leave the camera on. I would not mind the little motivation of seeing my girl on the screen.
Edelweiss: I won’t stay long, I have classes tomorrow. Lemme grab some food, I’ll be right there!
Edelweiss: but admit it, you just want to make sure I eat and drink 👀
HandSurgeon: I do indeed. Now, go.
We then spent around 20 minutes on the call. I stayed with my camera on, still making sure he could not see my face, and ate up. He would reply a bit more slowly than during our session, since he was working, but when he did it was a lot lighter than usual. We talked of our lives, previous partners, preferences but it quickly turned to other topics. TV shows we enjoyed or had in common, hobbies, pets.
I learnt he liked to sketch, mostly people, he never did art school and never wanted to but loved the human anatomy. He said he found it fascinating. I felt flattered when he suggested we find some free time so that he could draw me. I told him I’d think about it, then we changed topics but kept off the more personal ones, such as family, school and city. The less we knew, the better. It was weird, getting to know him after I had let him do as he pleased with me. But doing so made it more interesting for some reason.
I did not feel anything much for the man, but I enjoyed his company a lot. I had no plan of meeting him at all, and if I ever found someone, I’d probably stop talking to him, which is something we both agreed on. This was just to get off, this was simply to both find that pleasure of having the power dynamic in play. It was interesting, and I never thought I’d be doing this but here I was, having hung up on a stranger I should call my dom. Here I was, exhausted after masturbating for him. Following each of his instruction.
Having had a taste of that side I had never ventured on, I realized I liked it a lot and I could see myself doing it more from time to time. Maybe not all the time, but in bed it was so intriguing.
I surprised myself as I laid under my covers, slowly drifting to sleep, when a thought crossed my mind, I wonder if Law would do that… I shook the thought away, but it came back just as strong, I was curious. He would look at me with the same look he gave me all night, intrigued and yet clearly expecting all those reactions of me. Knowing what he was doing, knowing the effect he had on me. Whatever I’d say, he wouldn’t be surprised, as if he could read me. He’d ask me those same questions he did that night, trying to get me riled up and I would let him. Would I imagine him as that man from online?
Would I secretly be hoping he would be that good? Would I let him do as he pleased with me? Was I even going to go on a date with him? This last question had an answer already, we both hardly had any free time. I don’t believe we had the same schedule either, it’d be too hard. But I’d entertain the idea, it was fun. I was slightly excited if it did happen, after all he was attractive. And I could use the kind of fun he was suggesting, considering all the stress we must both be under.
Turning in bed, I pulled my phone from under my pillow and texted Law.
You: You better be asleep old doc, because I am hitting the sac. And ignoring your last text at the same time.
Trafalgar Law 😷: Shall I take that as a “no”?
You: Definitely not, but I want to know if your personality is as hot as your face, first.
You: For scientific purposes
Trafalgar Law 😷: Luckily, I did pretty well in sciences. I’ll help with your research then.
You: That means I can call you partner? Pardner 🤠 in research of a fun time
Trafalgar Law 😷: Partner of fun, if you want. Pardner, no.
You: Dagnabbit, sad cowboy noise.
Trafalgar Law 😷: I think you need sleep, partner.
You: I definitely do, good night pardner. You should sleep too, you looked fucking tired tonight.
[Trafalgar Law 😷 sent an attachment]
You: it’s pitch black?
Trafalgar Law 😷: Because I’m trying to sleep, and you keep messaging me.
You: no one’s forcing you to answer 😏 but good night pardner
Trafalgar Law 😷: Good night
I did fall asleep soon after. It was a miracle I managed to keep the conversation that long considering how tired I was and yet I was able to exchange, albeit embarrassingly, with the hot guy. I did not know why I had sent him a message- who am I kidding I know why I did that. Not only was I in that post-orgasm daze but also, this little voice in my head kept considering him as a potential something.
That something was yet to be determined, booty call? Romantic partner? Sex friend? I did not know yet, the only way to find out was that date. And perhaps, if it went well enough, the after-date part. Which I was excited about, maybe more than the date part.
This time I did not dream of the HandSurgeon, I did however have a dream about Trafalgar Law. It was not as hot as the one I had the night before… But it was something…
In that dream, I had called him out of boredom while working on some stuff, and he had picked up mildly annoyed. But even though he was annoyed, he kept me on the line while making his way to his office and closed the door behind him.
Then the mood changed, the ambiance too, the lights got slightly darker and suddenly I found myself in his office. He was leaning on his desk, arms crossed across his chest and seemingly expectant. I saw myself approach him with determination, I was but a spectator to that whole scene. I stopped right in front of him and let him grab my hands before he pulled them behind his back and turned me around so that I was now the one against the desk.
The view changed and I could see him from up close now, he was looking down at me with a smug smile. I saw his lips moving but could not comprehend what he was saying. His tattooed hand travelled to my neck, gently brushing his thumb over it before grabbing my jaw gently. He spoke again and while I did not know what he said, I felt nervous, and slightly afraid.
I tried to ask him to repeat, and maybe I did but I could not hear myself. He leaned forward and let his other hand graze the skin under my shirt before whispering. “Edelweiss… my sweet and pretty toy. So good for me.” I let my head fall back in pleasure from his touches but the constant feeling of confusion and fear only grew. I tried to understand why I was feeling like that, among the joy I felt upon hearing his word. Then it clicked.
He doesn’t know about Edelweiss- he’s not that man, he shouldn’t know.
Now I’m in my bed. Looking at a screen, I can see someone on that screen, but I can’t see it really. Then I understand who it is, HandSurgeon, but this time it’s Trafalgar Law. “You want us to be the same.”
“You wish I was real, you’re so desperate for this to happen with me, with him, we’re the same to you, Edelweiss. You should think, wake up, realize that you’re making a mistake, wake up, we can’t be the same, wake up, you just want it so bad-“
“Wake up!” I was startled awake by Nami, who was looking at me angrily, already fully dressed. “Jesus, did last night tire you that bad?” How could she know what I had done last night? She wasn’t even home- Trying to come up with anything, I was too sleepy to be embarrassed, then she spoke and cleared my mind. “You know, if I had known socializing with Traffy would tired you that much, I would have brought him over a lot sooner. Maybe you’d finally catch some real sleep.” She explained as she kept her gaze on my, probably, sleep-marks adorned face.
Sighing, she pulled the covers off my form without a second thoughts when I was unresponsive to her words. “This time you have more than 5 minutes to get ready but move your ass or I’ll leave you there. Come on, hurry.” She stopped by the door and made a compassionate face, “By the way, don’t worry, he exhausts me too. It’s the smug face and the condescending attitude that just-“ she made a sounds with her tongue against her teeth, “it ticks me off, you know?” She was gone right after.
Looking at the doorway longer than I wanted to, I started drifting off to sleep when I was startled awake once more. My phone was ringing, and I was very much aware it was not my alarm. Stretching my arm to the bed table, I grabbed my phone and was surprised when I read the screen and saw it was Trafalgar Law. I picked up in confusion, “What do you want?” With the sleepiness and the confusion, my tone ended up being a bit more aggressive than I expected.
“How about you start with good morning?” I heard him chuckle, he was probably proud of that too. Rolling my eyes, I let my head fall back on the pillow and spoke again, “Good morning, do you need something?” I sighed and pulled my covers back on my form, hearing the blinker of his car in the background I guessed he was driving and was paying more attention to the road.
“Good morning, did I perhaps wake you up?” He asked rhetorically but I could hear the smile on his lips. All I did was hum in return, still waiting for the reason he called me. “I’m free this Thursday, how does it sound for those… research?” He seemed reticent saying it, probably rolling his eyes at how stupid it sounded. Laughing in my throat in return, it was not charming but the way he said it made it too funny for my dazed state. “Too shy to call it a date? I need to check my schedule; I don’t know if I’m free.” Thinking he’d hang up, I instead heard him talk to someone before talking to me again.
“Then go ahead and check, I’ll wait.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and rummaged through something while I checked on my phone, mumbling. “Can’t you let a girl sleep? Don’t you have a work to get to?” I opened the calendar but kept grumbling while doing so, “You’re lucky I’m not hanging up to go back to sleep.” While checking my schedule, I double checked if there was a time I could be free on Thursday and heard Law scoff.
He huffed a laugh, “I think you’d have hung up by now if you did not want to talk to me, I don’t think it’s luck, but interest.” Then a sigh as he got a bit more serious, “Just answer the question, I have to get going.”
Scoffing, I brought the phone back to my ear, “You’re just a pretty face for now, Doc. Don’t bet on interest just yet. Now, I’m free around 2 pm that day, if that’s cool with you. But add like half an hour or so, it gives me time to get back home.”
“Give me the address of your campus, I’ll come and get you there.” I heard the sound of the car door being slammed closed in the background, and the rustle of a bag. “I’m not about to refuse a car ride, it’s a bit odd but thank you!” I quickly sat up, suddenly feeling excited for my plans on Thursday. “Don’t expect me to be dressed all chic though, if I have classes in the morning, it’ll be comfortable and only slightly fashion.” I said lightly as I made my way to my wardrobe to start getting dressed for the day.
“Give me a moment.” I heard the phone being moved a bit, a few muffled voices greeting the man, footsteps echoing on the ground accompanied by the hubbub of phones ringing, beeping sounds and people talking. While waiting, I was able to get dressed and go back to my desk to prepare my stuff. After a few minutes, I finally heard him. “You were talking about your clothes, to be honest as long as it’s easy to remove, we’re good.” He said smoothly, I could hear the smirk, the smugness in his voice.
I simply looked at the phone with surprise and pleasantness. That was interesting to say the least, and I was enjoying it. “You’re not saying anything, I’m assuming you agree. Good, then I’ll see you on Thursday? Don’t be afraid to send me pictures if you’re curious about what clothes to wear, I’d gladly help you pick.” I had to stand my ground, he was too smooth. Too much, too flirty, too… familiar…?
“Just for that, I’ll wear the most intricate clothes I have. Make it worth your while, you know?” While his laugh was beautiful, it was also condescending. I kept having mixt feelings about the man. “Well, if I am in a hurry, know that I am very skilled with sharp tools, and I’d have no shame in tearing your pretty clothes apart.” The sound of the creaking chair in the background made me think he was probably leaning back on his chair. A quick thought crossed my mind, of going up to him and sitting on his lap and seeing what he’d do, but I shoved that thought away.
Instead, I huffed in response and threw my bag over my shoulder. I tried to come up with a witty reply, making lame sounds with my mouth, but I had no matching energy. Even less this early in the morning. “Alright, sure, you win. I was not going to wear anything intricate anyway, even I’m too lazy for that. Casual it is, so don’t go looking all professional on me, please. I’ll feel off.”
“Put it on my desk, I’ll be there in a few- it’s an important call, I’m sure he can wait five more minutes… He doesn’t have a choice, tell him to wait… Intern or not you can tell him to wait, how else do you expect to be taken seriously? … Well, tell him I am the one who said that, then, Tony... Right, now go- And close the door behind.” I felt bad eavesdropping like that, it wasn’t a conversation I was meant to hear but it did not seem like any important information had been shared either. Except the fact that he said this was an important call when it clearly was not. It sent pride to my chest.
Walking to the kitchen, I made a motion with my index to my lips to Robin and Nami when they started talking a bit too loud. I pointed at the phone, then wiggled my fingers before drawing an invisible circle on the back of my hand. I tried very hard to make them understand it was Law, but they seemed confused. Instead, I held my phone between my shoulder and my ear and spelled Law with both of my hands. This time they understood, I knew it from the huge grin on their face.
“We got interrupted, sorry about that. If you feel intimated by a professional look, I guess we’ll have to drop by my place before going on that date. Do tell me if you’d rather I keep the medical coat-“ Cutting him off, I needed to set things straight. “Hey, I never said that was my cup of tea, okay? And I’m not intimidated, I’m sure you’re rocking the look- “ I never sighed more loudly than at this very moment when Nami snatched the phone from my hand, and said, “Alright asshole, time’s up, you’ve had time to work your charm… no I’m not doing that”
Robin butted in next to the microphone and said, “She’s all flustered, Traffy, good work!” I went to grab it back from the ginger’s hands but the stepped back and exchanged a few words with Law before handing me my phone back with a bright smile. Bringing it back to my ear, I rushed back to the corridor to avoid them eavesdropping more than they did in the kitchen.
“Sorry about them- for your outfit, wear whatever you want. I truly have no say in what you’re going to wear, plus you’ll look hot with whatever you pick so, it’s a win-win.” I quickly said, earning a laugh from the man on the other side. “I’d love to see your face right now, Robin did say you were flustered. Guess we’ll have to wait until Thursday.” He hummed, his tone having some finality to it. I knew it was my cue to hang up.
“I wasn’t flustered, I- at best embarrassed- no wait that sounds worst doesn’t it? Anyway, see you on Thursday! Have fun at work, bye.” I waited until he bid me goodbye before hanging up. As I put my phone away, I leaned against the wall and sighed, letting my head hit the wall. “Are you okay?” Robin’s soft voice reached my ears, she was making her way towards me with a slight smile. Probably feeling a bit bad for going along Nami’s childish attitude only moments ago.
Humming, I gave her a nod. But the words that followed were not matching the actions. “He’s like, very hot. And I really want to fuck him, right? But he’s also pretty funny, and good at flirting?”
Squinting her eyes, Robin asked, “Is that a question… or?”
“No, no, it’s facts and it confuses me! I was ready to just, hook up, but he could be more- I don’t know maybe I’m desperate.” I simply shrugged, leaving a silence between the black-haired woman and me.
Looking up at her, she seemed to be thinking. Then she smiled, she was always the one with good advice but also a helpless romantic. “It’s a good thing isn’t it? You don’t need to worry too much, that date of yours will help you see if you’re really interested in him or not! If not, you’ll have great sex- if yes, you’ll still have great sex, and another date.” I groaned in reply, running a hand through my hair before giving her a short nod.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll just- live my life until then, I have other things to do than think of a man. By the way are you home tonight?” I asked her as we walked back to the kitchen where Nami was nowhere to be found, there was simply a piece of paper with the words ‘bring your ass to the car’.
Chuckling lightly, Robin shook her head. “I have to stay late at the library. Then Franky agreed to let me stay at his place, since it’s closer.” We talked a bit as we made our way to the door, where she wave me goodbye before closing the door gently behind me.
When I was back in the car, Nami had one of her earbuds on and was talking more gently than she’d usually talk to someone. Which means she was talking to Vivi. I did not interrupt and instead grabbed my phone and saw a message from HandSurgeon.
HandSurgeon: Are you feeling better? Don’t forget to stay hydrated, I’ll be a bit busy this week, but I can find time if you’d like.
Edelweiss: shit, just saw your message! Sorry, crazy morning. I am definitely sore, but it’s good, I can move so there’s that!
Edelweiss: Also, I might be a bit away from Wednesday to Friday, I am seeing someone and knowing how our session leave me pretty sore, I’d rather you know…
Edelweiss: be in good shape
Edelweiss: for a good fun
Edelweiss: a good fuck
This time, I did not have a prompt reply. I put my phone away and it’s only halfway through my day, while I was working on something at the library, that I received a reply from him. I’ll admit, I had been expectant the entire morning for an answer. I had been deep in textbooks for so long, I was craving for any sort of interaction, from anyone. Which explained the speed at which I unlocked my phone to see the text from HandSurgeon, and even one from Trafalgar Law.
I hesitate for a moment, then opened discord.
HandSurgeon: It’s fine, you are allowed to have a life you know. Simply tell me if you want to stop this, or not, you know… if your someone is not the one and you still need a good fuck.
HandSurgeon: I will also be busy on Thursday, I’ll try to send you a text if I get some free time.
HandSurgeon: I just finished a long meeting, would you be up for a fun game?
I stared at his messages, feeling a bit excited suddenly. But knowing myself, I would say yes, so I had to answer to Law first before spending my time sexting the stranger.
Trafalgar Law 😷: I’m sorry we had to cut our conversation short, how was class? I have a bit of free time, if you’d like to talk about our research meeting.
You: That’s actually pretty cute, thought you were just a horny piece of meat but damn, you surprise me.
You: I am still on campus, drowning in work. I’d love to talk, but I need to focus, text me later? 🤠
Going back on discord, I felt strange. I wanted to say yes, to play his game, but it felt wrong for some reason. I was double texting and it felt like I was cheating on a man I was not even dating. I ignored the thought and typed back.
Edelweiss: I kinda wanna know, but also really need to get back to work. So, I’ll have to decline.
Edelweiss: But I’m curious, what was the game?
HandSurgeon: It’s quite alright, I was going to suggest you’d take a pretty picture for me no matter who was around. But you are busy, so I’ll leave you be. Focus on your work. I’ll talk to you later.
HandSurgeon: But for ‘emotional support’, I’ll give you this:
HandSurgeon : [sent an attachment]
I snorted at his words, and smiled when he sent me a picture of his gloved hand gripping the wheel of his car tightly. I did comment on wearing gloves while driving, even though they were not medical gloves and it had some charm, it was very movie-like. And suspicious.
After that, I put my phone down and got lost in work. I did not even see time fly by, what informed me that it was indeed a few hours later than I thought, was the grumbling of my stomach. “I think it’s time to call it a day.” I mumbled while packing everything up. With the books put back where they belonged and my laptop tucked away, I made my way outside and was walking through the parking lot when I saw a familiar mop of hair making its way towards me.
I suddenly felt self-conscious and straightened my back before meeting his gaze and frowning in confusion. “Are you stalking me?” I patted my pockets in emphasis, before saying “Did you put a chip somewhere, or-“ Law shook his head as if I was being crazy. “Bro, it’s super super sus that you’re at my campus when I never gave you the address-“
“I asked Robin. I was going to ask Nami but she wouldn’t have given me anything.” He explained as if it was obvious.
Looking around, I opened my mouth and closes it a few times. It was a bit awkward. “Why are you here, then?” I asked, still confused, my eyes squint in suspicion.
“Right- give me a moment.” He turned around and took a few long strides to get to his car and get something from the passenger seat before coming back. Even though his steps were hurried, there was still this elegance to it that I could not ignore.
“I am very familiar with long hours of studying, so here’s a drink and some food. I used to skip meals, because I’d get too much into it. Don’t do that, eat.” While what he said seemed caring, he was not smiling or anything. But the gesture was so sweet I couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s very nice of you,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear jokingly in faux-shyness before going back to a normal demeanor. “But I was going home. I was done for the day, here,” I handed it back to him before trying to find my wallet in my bag. “Let me, just- how much do I owe you?”
He stopped me from rummaging through my back and ruffled my hair before handing me the drink and food back. “Nothing, I was passing by. Now I am sure to not get lost when I’ll come and get you on Thursday.” He winked, then looked back at his watch a moment. He seemed to ponder something for a moment, before looking up at me. “Would you like me to drop you off at your house? I have a bit of time before going back to work.” He asked kindly, showing me his keys as if trying to coo me.
“Maybe you should go eat too? I’ll take the bus, it’s alright.” Smiling, the man pointed at his car with a certain pride. “Oh don’t worry, I got myself something too. It could be our first lunch date, you are so bent on traditions, so why not lunch?”
I felt my cheeks heat up and pushed him playfully, careful not to spill the drink I had in my hand. “I’m not bent on traditions, I just barely know you, doc.” I looked to the side and shrugged before walking past him, “Let’s get lunch.” I said over my shoulder. I heard the man laugh in the back, then the jingle of keys.
I tried to open the door but found it locked. I stated the obvious, “I can’t get in if it’s locked.” I was about to complain more, when he leaned over his side of the car and grinned. “Ask politely, and I’ll let you in.” I hated him, but the smile on my face was a betrayal of how I really felt. He was a little shit, but it was still fun. Rolling my eyes, I mimicked his action and rested my arms on the roof of the car, “Could you please unlock the car, doc?” “Good girl, was it that hard?”
I turned my head towards him so fast I may have pulled a muscle in my neck, but the way he said it made it a lot more than just a nickname. He was testing the waters for something, and I had given him the exact reaction he wanted. “What, do I call you daddy now?” I said sarcastically while getting inside the car and buckling my seatbelt while he held everything before placing them back on my lap.
“Not my thing, but I’m sure we’ll get to that conversation later.” He smirked as he put something in the glove box before closing it back and meeting my intense gaze as he leaned back on his seat. I was observing each and everyone of his action, feeling out of place in his car. I had met the man last night, but for some reason he felt familiar. Perhaps it was his aura, perhaps he was just that reassuring. No, clearly not, he looks threatening… “Something on your mind? I don’t know if you’re looking at me like you want kill me or fuck me,” Extending his hand towards me, he placed his index under my chin and lifted it, I quickly grabbed his hand like last time to stop him.
“Maybe both, maybe none-“ With a short smile, he interrupted me, “Don’t be like that, I’ll ask differently. Are you uncomfortable? I haven’t done this in a while, so I’m trying to take it slow…ish.” He admitted. I could see on his face he was feeling just as sheepish as I was. Clasping my hands on my lap I chuckled nervously, “I’m good, I was just…. Observing. You’re doing good, simply put…” I trailed off and met his gaze with a playful grin, “Ye’re a looker pardner,” I then tipped my non-existent hat, which made him laugh genuinely.
“You were just in awe?” He asked a bit surprised, hiding his bashfulness behind a laugh. “Exactly, take the compliment and don’t mention it again. Now drive, or you’ll get back late at work.” I huffed, looking at the window with warm cheeks. I felt a pull at my hand and looked at it confused, “I’d love to, but you’re still holding my hand.” I quickly let go and threw his hand back at him, “It was to make sure you weren’t going to do the whole,” Making a gesture with my hands in the air, wiggling my fingers, I continued, “Chin thing again.”
Even though he agreed, only giving me a curt nod along with a “Right.”, I could see the smile on his face as he started the car. Looking at him from the corner of my eyes, I matched his smile discretely as I looked back at the road.
The volume of the music wasn’t loud, I could hear the fabric of his coat as he maneuvered, the blinkers, my own nervous heartbeat. There was no reason for me to feel so nervous, we were just going to eat lunch then go our separate way. To try to calm down, I rummaged through my brain for topics to talk about, small talks was fun in social events but in one on one, it was a fucking disaster.
Do you have any pets? Do you like cats? Maybe talk about his job? How long did he study? Or funny topics, less social, more creative? Politics is off the table, it’s not that great of a first date conversation. What’s your favourite colour? What part of your body to your prefer-
I blurted out a question to try to fill the silence. And fuck did I regret it, I shouldn’t be allowed to speak when in that state, but it was too late. “So… what’s your favourite body part?” Wait, no, fuck, not…
[Part 6]
#trafalgar one piece#trafalgardwaterlaw#trafalgar law#one piece trafalgar law#trafalgar law x reader#one piece x reader#physicalturian#words of pleasure#wop#fanfiction#one piece#law one piece#law x reader#ao3#ao3 writer#physicalturian AO3#writing#writings
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what's your opinion on inazuma archon quests and characters? personally, i feel that it's rushed and the quality in writing has decreased compared to liyue and mond. when i started playing genshin i rushed through the archon quests in mond and liyue but still felt like the pace was good. but in inazuma, even when there were waiting gaps between updates in the archon quests, it still felt lacking. plus, i feel like mhy's trying so hard to force characters in inazuma to like the traveler so much. there's a voiceline of ei where she tells traveler she fears what happened 500 years ago, then she says that if traveler was there then perhaps the traveler could have saved everyone or something along that line. and i'm just there thinking like, yeah, the traveler helped inazuma, but ei barely knows us plus she's an archon so i don't think she should be saying such things so lightly? idk if it's just me but mhy's just trying too hard to make everyone practically fall in love with the traveler
hello there! i apologize for the late response but i think i stated my response to the archon quests before but ok lemme say this in one whole post (i’m gonna use they/them for traveler)
(will have 2.1 and 2.2 spoilers)
personally, i enjoyed the 2.1 archon quests; act 1 and 2. the pacing was good, and so is the way traveler acted in most of it. i remembered loving how the traveler had attitude more than they did in mond and liyue quests. but on the last part of act 2, i felt off when they suddenly wanted to join the resistance. by then, i knew that this was gonna be rushed and circle back onto what they were in mond and liyue archon quest.
a very long review utc
first issue: the traveler
the traveler (our) goal was to find their sibling, but then they were now willing to go to war to a literal god just because of what happened? i get the fact that what raiden was doing was wrong, but it showed how traveler will resolve to violence instead of trying to find a way to talk to raiden first.
now, going to 2.2, it seems like that goal to find their sibling was in the back of their mind because why in the world did they not question ei about it?
second issue: traveler is the “savior” and “fixer of everything”
aren’t they supposed to be wary? why in the world would they trust someone who doesn’t dress like them, doesn’t talk like them, and doesn’t seem like a mortal at all? even mond and liyue was wary of the traveler, but in inazuma, like you, nonnie, said, they relied on the traveler TOO MUCH. i get that most of them are in great peril and all, but have ayaka done something other than give “missions” to the traveler? she did not even fight the shogun. i get that her family name is in line, but would you rather have a traveler die for you, then?
as for the ei issue, i think it might be because she trusts traveler too much because of their power and prowess, i think that’s how ei judges people, and she does not trust a lot either, so maybe that shows that her issue might be in dependency than ayaka and the others. still, i can’t say it’s good too.
third issue: the disaster that is act 3
wtf was in 2.2? we got to know ayaka and even had more time with yoimiya than with kokomi who surely should play a more important role than either the two. kujou sara even had more screentime?? it’s obvious they rushed that first part and not just the last one.
speaking of the last part, why was “restoration” just a fucking cutscene? do you think people forgive that easily? my point, it is not realistic. even kokomi’s story quest had more info than in the archon quest cut scene, besides, they only showed the positive side, what happened to those who had gotten their visions? were they retrieved? were they able to remember again? to regain their ambition? well who tf knows because there are no guarantees at all!
am i mad? of course i am. act 1 and act 2 had a very nice pacing and it all went down in act 3 where literally everything was rushed. too many plot holes, too many questions. and traveler did not even get to question ei and only got to do that with miko! unlike the previous story quests. ei is the one who traveler had traveled for, why is it a good idea to ask the friend and not the god herself?
so disappointed, that’s all. i digress. if i remember something i might rb this or so but these are all my thoughts and criticisms! i don’t hate everything, i enjoyed it! it’s honestly just a waste since as a writer myself, i feel like the characters did not get what they deserved (good or not).
#🪁#idk if this is a rant or not because somewhere i kund of ranted#but this is more of like a constructive criticism imo#cw 2.1 spoilers#cw 2.2 spoilers
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So I've never actually seen /u/ryans01 excellent post re-posted here on tumblr, and I think it could help a lot of people, so I'll repost it below. Link to the original
Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.
(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )
Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.
La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.
Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.
Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.
That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.
I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.
Have an awesome fucking day ☺
tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)
Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks!
Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action.
Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go.
Edit3: WHOA! This blew up! Major appreciation to Modified_Duck for making this cool ass image: http://i.imgur.com/7xsp7hJ.png
Edit4: Another AMAZING DESKTOP BACKGROUND! http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/1rowpb/i_made_a_wallpaper_from_uryans01s_amazing_quote/
#tips#adhd tips#adhd-tips#depression tips#mental health#neurodivergent#neurodiverse#nd#depression#autism#autistic
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what i like abt muren and li chen
i’m sorta burned out and my vagina is bleeding so lemme see if i can type this. probably can lmao. my brain is going ten miles a minute.
1. the fact that they were friends first.
someone on here said this and idk who but i don’t want to seem like it was my idea.
the fact that they are friends and didn’t have like a connection previously and it developed. most times friends-to-lovers has a basis of some sort of romantic interest from another person so they were not truly ever friends, you know? and many relationships people aren’t friends first but that’s the best kind. and they are the truest form in that (i wouldnt say truest means good but just i think a representation of) they were truly friends, no attraction at least consciously, and were lead into it.
2. bc they know each other well and are friends they know each other and LAUGH and if you can’t laugh with your love then there is no point. 0. lmao. i love it
idk they fell easily in2 the luvy duvy part and u can actually believe they are into each other like outside of kissing. gee. also hello! when lichen like threw the heart in the office and muren caught it? bitch! i woulda been like ew!!!!! and blushed but muren was like that’s right that’s my bitch
3. bouncing off 2 um uhhhhh the way they interact so i guess this is 2 but whatver i like lists now
muren is >:O but super sweet and receptive to others. so he responds to people and it isn’t just stoic for stoic sake or with not much substance. idk how to say this but oftentimes sometimes i feel like characters will be too oppositional to offset their partner and it can be extremely annoying to watch because it’s part of the dynamic but sometimes there’s a lack of reciprocation. i like that even if muren is quiet he smiles a lot and lets people know through his actions and shit. esp his mans. and when he needs to talk, he will.
lichen is perfect for this because of reasons. what do you even say about this dude holy shit. first of all he really is a fucking himbo. he’s not even dumb he’s just a fucking himbo. it’s great to say the way they express their excitement and the best thing to hear, “i can be myself around you”
4. u cannnot tell me that this top/bottom discourse is actually not ridiculous esp for them bc there is no way that my eyes are seeing what i see yet there’s some struggle when they’re trying to constantly grapple with the masculine/feminine aspects (this is a good thing)
with the way that they hang off each other. esp bc lichen is shorter than him and stockier and he can attach himself like a barnacle. the way he expresses glee and love is very “feminine” at times IE reliance, support, putting your head on his etc but then there are times when he is the one to hold muren too. so it’s like they are clearly on the same level in how they exchange love and stuff and exploring the dynamics but it clearly isnt as structured as the usual ones and it shouldnt be so they should just stop talking about this shit cos ur both getting fucked god shut up
lichen squeals like a girl and is obsessed with him. he is clingy and also says “what do you want to do to me.” if this show is gonna sit us through the agony of this stupid discourse and they tell me they arent gonna sw*tch or whatever (not that they cant have other forms of sex bc that is not that difficultand as adults w eknow this but anywaaay) then they simply are wrong
5. the ~gay 4 u~ thing is dumb and i cannot believe it tbqh cos it’s like sir....but i am glad that lichen like expresses attraction to his physique and personhood as a man and acknowledging that that is something and a part of the attraction.
it was probably a happy accident but it’s still a good one. there’s sometimes an idea of like sexual attraction being sorta nebulous when someone is like getting into a rship with the same gender but not being sure about their sexuality or whatever or still liking another gender explicitly where they cant admit they find things attractive or enticing even when they are in a same sex relationship and it is so fucking confusing and doesn’t make sense. i wish instead of trying to make it cut and dry they just went honestly mabye they dont know but theyre both men and thats a factor. ok lets move on now. :)
6. they make u feel nice
especially in comparison to the show being messy and also there’s some crazy stalker man running around you know they temper that
they’re just really fun to watch. it’s an interesting dynamic and particularly with xing si in their lives it’s nice and i’m so glad there’s no one else to ruin it like say a brother who is a waste of space. but it’s mostly good feelings for them and you can see why they like each other, that they can stay together, and how helpful a relationship can be as you grow as an individual
7. while i am sure there will be further misunderstandings...comm...unic...ation?
literally boys are dumb as hell but idk if my reading is correct on this one but SO FAR TO MOI im like wow u guys like actually talk. woah. and i think that’s nice. yest i had a breakdown in front of my fam bc i am sometimes emotionally stunted when faced with distress so it’s nice to see people talking that out in particularly with like jealousy and stuff
AND their interactions in public and the understanding. knowing it takes time and stuff for them to adjust and allowing them the time. they are extremely different to other people and they want to be distinct and they can be and arre to each other they dont need to follow anyone else’s rules (except the costume department sometimes needs to get better pants for muren like that’s my rule tbh but that’s neither here nor there)
did some1 call them emotional support himbos? i think so cos word.
oh one more thing idk the name of the actor playing li chen and im too tired to look it up but i like him a lot i think he does a good job of going seamlessly between like a jubilant person and an actual human being. he plays well at being oblivious but not outright stupid and emotionally stunted or not picking up certain signals. i think at times it seems like he doesn’t always have a sense of self like trying to be something else for other people but then he realizes like he can’t do that so all he can do is be himself which leads him 2 his mans but yea. the actor does a decent job! it’s a fun character to wathc
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SHADOW & BONE REVIEW: EP 7
On this episode: Going on a tangent about how Kaz refuses to ~look~ at Inej in various situations, octuple beheadings, and historical costume references from every century because why pick just one?
...and then I take MAJOR OFFENSE at a certain someone scoffing at a certain someone else when he says he believes in himself and go off on a huge rant about how confidence is nothing to be ashamed of.
Did you think these reviews would lead to a pep talk about self-esteem? Well, strap in, because I'm about to give you one.
- I love these little hand jutsus that Grisha do
- Stop making me feel bad for the Darklingggggg. His hair kind of looks like a mullet though.
- Oh shit octuple beheading!! Wicked. The cut is such a simple skill. All it does is slice a person in half. Nothing fancy here. I kind of love how simple it is.
- Baghra is amazing. Zoë Wanamaker is SO GOOD.
- Ohhh those black veins. I suppose that’s what Nikolai looks like.
- Ohohoooooo here comes the fold!!!! That music when they’re looking at it... epic.
- Ya gonna... stitch her up, Kaz? Wink wink.
- (*edit) Side note about touch here... as much as Show Kaz is a little more open with his ~words~ and ~emotions,~ not only is there the whole not touching people thing (which isn't actually mentioned at all, how funny is that?) but he totally cuts himself off when it even comes to looking at Inej just in case he might even think about it. The scene where she's giving her aerial silks demonstration? She had a lot of tight clothes on and bare arms and Kaz would not even look at her. Here she's about to give herself stitches and she's got her shirt pulled up and her abs out and Kaz just nopes right outa there. He's got this attitude like... well I know what I can't have so I'm not even gonna look at it, do not tempt me.
- ...Excuse me Kaz are you giving up? Excuse meEEEe?! WHO ARE YOU.
- No offense to your props people but this fake snow is very fake snow. You need that salty compound they used in LotR.
- The stag is so pretty! They should put him on a train and take him across the fold. Emotional support stag.
- Good god Mal, why are you ALWAYS getting shot?!
- You cut the stag's antlers all to pieces, you ASSHOLE. Those would have looked SO GOOD mounted on your wall. >:|
- Kaz: Look Inej, I killed a rabbit for you! It was that one from episode 1 that Mal saved in Keramzin!
Inej: Cool, Kaz, uh thanks I guess?
- "What do you believe in? "
- "Myself."
- Ok. Ok. You know what. Lemme pause so I can anger dump here a bit. I know this is part of a setup for Kaz to say his next line, but I really take with issue with Inej scoffing at that. Kaz should believe in himself because he's fucking smart and he knows it. Is being smart wrong?! If you're smart, you should be proud of that. Everyone should. Confidence is important, and self-confidence is rare, especially in younger people (as an Old Person,™ [LOL] I can say this). Belief in yourself can take YEARS to cultivate. The percentage of people who don't believe in themselves compared to the percentage of people who do is definitely a lot lower. How much lower, you ask? 85% my dudes, I looked up an actual stat for this.
So don't ever let anyone tell you not to be confident or proud or not to believe in yourself. Because that is garbage.
This is reminiscent of the moment in SoC during the fight at the Exchange when Geels says "sure of yourself, aren't you?" And Kaz responds with "myself and nothing else." I fucking love that line. And Inej scoffing at him saying something similar just put her in the position of Geels here and really, really, is that the hill you're leaving her to die on? I'm reading way too much into this I know. I know Kaz is usually overly confident which leads to arrogance, BUT STILL. Ok. Let's finish the scene shall we?
- "And you."
- ...oh fuck. ok here come the Kanej feels.
- "My crows."
- YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOW.
- These are book lines! Book lines! And there is piano music! Ludovico is here in spirit! *bursts into tears* I need to rewind this all and watch it again. Maybe 10 times.
- Is this why everyone said this is the best episode?
- So my favorite part of the soundtrack is these loooovely bassy-sounding downward slurs. Nnnnrowwwww just like that. That’s exactly how it sounds, yes.
- I kind of don't like how amplifiers look? They kind of creep me out how they’re just sunken into their skin. I mean it looked like a pretty cool necklace as it was, why couldn’t they just have attached it to the top of her skin?
- GENYAAAAAAAA so good :''''(
- "I’m a man if my word!" Pfffft, sure he is, until he’s not.
- Shadow Man. Good one Mal, we’ll call him that from now on.
- Omg look Jesper is wearing true Barrel flash!!! Very swave!
- No no no way is that Milo the Goat coming to save the day. Are you kidding me. This goat is so fucking precious.
- Can you... can you actually use a bullet in that way? I want to know this science. I feel like this isn't actually possible.
- Oh wow, Alina is all dolled up! I didn’t even recognize her. Are they getting married or something?
- Ok this is where my love of historical clothes comes in. You dress the nobles at the fete in 1870s bustle gowns with all these gathers and then you give Alina this pretty medieval neckline looking number that laces up the back. I want to see the skirt part. Let me see! Ok it has some kind of box pleats! Or knife pleats? Idk but it’s an odd place to have a seamline. Le shrug. Weird execution.
- Shadow Man said the line! The villain line!
- And inej gets to dress up like a boy again! I love that little capelet. You know what’s not great about coats with attached capelets though? Wearing a backpack is impossible. But I digress.
- Alina’s cloak tho! That I like. Good embroidery down the front. And a pretty good kefta-looking dress! So that other one was just a throw away dress for one short scene, good.
- Hold up, why are there passengers on this skiff? These people aren't military, the military shouldn’t be doing passenger transportation, should they? You can’t just like, hop on a navy boat because it’s going the same direction as you.
- And that woman wearing an ill-fitting double-breasted coat, with FLARED SLEEVES, WTF? And almost some kind of Victorian walking skirt and it’s pastel and no I don’t not like that, throw it out.
- I love the crows' popped collars though. Always popped collars with them.
- Ok sorry this turned into costume commentary. Sorry, can’t help it.
- NO MOURNERS. NO FUNERALS.
ep1 | ep2 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | ep7 | ep8
#pocketreviews#shadow and bone#sab spoilers#shadow and bone spoilers#six of crows#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#alina starkov
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Chat Logs: Give Context
po57c0nt3n7
> how long have you known
japiform
eh, i didn't really care to pay attention til you two started talkin
though i'll admit, i'm new enough to this shit that i didn't really question it when i immediately assumed you was from here
so. i dunno. the whole time?
po57c0nt3n7
> ok
japiform
why?
po57c0nt3n7
> why do you think
japiform
no clue
was i supposed ta tell you immediately?
i ain't really got down the ettiquettes of this exact situation
guess my lusus forgot to teach me
po57c0nt3n7
> oh so now youre asking about etiquette
> its ok im not mad at you
japiform
.... You have never been told that before.
oh?
po57c0nt3n7
> its my fault it happened like this anyway
japiform
oh
is this what we're doin?
po57c0nt3n7
> what
> no im just telling the truth
japiform
yeah cool whatever
look i ain't one to stop a good pity party, but actually yeah i am
they're annoying to watch and you're way funnier with that fake ass confidence
it's a joke, dumbass
at your expense
cosmic variety
you didn't realize. she didn't realize. darkleer didn't realize, and he pegged me fuckin instantly.
a gods damned who's on first of reunions
po57c0nt3n7
> he pegged you lol
japiform
hahaha he wishes
po57c0nt3n7
> also that wasnt me
> well it was me but not really
japiform
yeah yeah somethin about masks and faked confidence and maybe algorithms or somethin
this is the real you, a mopey guilty asshole
po57c0nt3n7
> no i literally made an ai that i was using for data harvesting you goddamn moron
> and you broke it
japiform
hahahahahahaha that's fuckin funny
no wonder it didn't recognize her
i ain't never broke an ai before
what part did it?
po57c0nt3n7
> its like asking a metal detector to find a red wall
> the part where you threw it at the red wall dipshit
japiform
hahahahahaha
what data was you harvestin?
po57c0nt3n7
> in line with the metaphor
> whether or not the metal thats responsible for the color red was present
japiform
huh
abstract
po57c0nt3n7
> yeah well i didnt exactly have the resources or the capacity for anything more complicated than that unfortunately
> which is why im not mad at you
japiform
huh
what resources do you need that you don't have?
po57c0nt3n7
> power
> security
> not being a coward chickenshit
japiform
a battery not havin enough power. kinda funny
don't think i can help with that shit
po57c0nt3n7
> why would you want to help
japiform
beats what i'm doin now
po57c0nt3n7
> you mean jack shit
japiform
hahaha exactly
po57c0nt3n7
> i know
> she keeps tabs on you
japiform
how surprising
damn, i didn't know that becomin a high ranking government official would mean i'd be *watched*
now i'm scared of what'll happen if i *don't* help the empress's favorite pet
po57c0nt3n7
> you say dumb shit a lot
> does it ever get boring
japiform
hahaha
yeah
if you don't want help, i can just keep twiddlin my thumbs
no fuckin skin off my big red nose
po57c0nt3n7
> i dont know
japiform
eh. i'm old. i can wait.
or maybe i'll die tomorrow
either way
po57c0nt3n7
> you wont die tomorrow
japiform
then i can wait :o)
po57c0nt3n7
> ok do that
japiform
hahaha
-----
japiform
1hp huh
po57c0nt3n7
> thematically appropriate eheh
japiform
ha
you bout to kick it?
po57c0nt3n7
> if i dont outlive your wrinkled ass i would never let myself live it down
japiform
hahahahaha
and how do you intend to prolong your dying battery?
po57c0nt3n7
> as long as physically possible
> orr at least until i can make it up to survivor
japiform
that's sweet
but you answered the wrong question, dumbfuck
po57c0nt3n7
> yeah
japiform
lemme rephrase
through what means do you intend to prolong your miserable life
po57c0nt3n7
> why do you care
japiform
i already told you
ain't you got access to your memory?
update ya ram or some shit
i got nothin better to do
this shit makes for good tv
po57c0nt3n7
> i try to access my memories as little as possible
> ive some stuff happening in the background
japiform
so you've got it handled
po57c0nt3n7
> yes
> have any of your helmsman ever told you about the peer-to-peer helm network
japiform
hahaha none of my helms tell me shit without me knowin enough to ask first
po57c0nt3n7
> smart
japiform
yeah
so tell me about it
po57c0nt3n7
> in laymans terms its like a mini internet basically
japiform
peer to peer is what fuckers use to pirate shit, right?
po57c0nt3n7
> its not supposed to exist obviously but i doubt you really give a shit
japiform
nope
it's funny
po57c0nt3n7
> its something the first helmsman cooked up when they realized the trolls who set up the helmsblocks put it all on the same server for lazy asshole reasons
> they could connect to eachother over the broadband network
japiform
i follow
po57c0nt3n7
> over the last eons its become a hub for noobs and veterans to communicate
> keep everyone in the loop
> for the last two weeks ive been uploading packets
japiform
startin to get the feeling i've been bein handled
but go on
po57c0nt3n7
> well duh youre a figurehead at best
japiform
hahaha thanks
po57c0nt3n7
> np babe
> anyway these packets are 1-1 data dumps of my memories
> i figured if i do kick it
> other helmsman can stll learn from me i guess
> i just have to hold on a little longer while it all compiles
japiform
that's a special sorta sad
and so fuckin dull
po57c0nt3n7
> are you ever not going to neg me or should i sign the fucking visitor book
japiform
hahaha
po57c0nt3n7
> im just going to draw a huge bulge on every page
japiform
i'll sign it for you, i know you're all tied up :o)
po57c0nt3n7
> you are soooo funny
japiform
;o)
-----
po57c0nt3n7
> so a funny thing just happened
japiform
oh?
po57c0nt3n7
> so whilst we were talking earlier you were a certain distance away
> and now you are significantly closer
> i wonder what thats about
japiform
huh, weird
i ain't got any idea where you're at motherfucker
po57c0nt3n7
> uh huh
japiform
i just got some faithful worth roundin up in another sector
fish bitch don't wholly order me around, and i ain't so solely a figurehead. i'm still runnin a mother fuckin CHURCH
but if you wanted ta tell me your coords, i could come give you that kiss on my way ;o)
po57c0nt3n7
> not on your goddamn life
> last thing i need right now is for you to take a "miraculous" tumble and crash through one of my walls kool-aid man style
> do your clown shit idgaf
japiform
by your mother fuckin leave
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hey, so i thought maybe you could tell us a little what you're currently interested in? ♥ like, what have you been doing during quarantine, are there any new shows you watched that you enjoyed a lot, did you maybe take up a new hobby or something? :)
Hello!! I did not forget this lovely message, I was just in no state to answer (who’d have thought that recovery from surgery is, y’know, taxing) BUT I’M BACK NOW and ohhhh do you know what you’ve unlocked by asking me this question...?? I cannot give you a comprehensive list but I can tell you a couple of the things that I got into during quarantine, and the things I am currently super passionate about! My memory is, uh, not great but thankfully I do journal and write down things so I am confident I can answer this for you :D (plus I do always love recommending things so - aaa??? Thank you for this ask????)
Putting things under a cut because I physically cannot chill but if tl;dr I want you to take away one thing from this it’s that everyone should read Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. Thoughts below.
(Also. I would love to go off about my interests more on here but am not sure what... shape that should ideally take? Text posts? IDK pls give me suggestions, help me out?? dfhasjkldf)
Movies
I have not seen many, but I can and will scream about The Old Guard over and over because... it was everything I never knew I needed in an action movie?? I don’t reblog many things about it anymore but I love love LOVED it!!
Also, upon recommendation by one of my friends from India, I have been delving into the world of Bollywood movies and WOW Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara was so fucking good??? idk if it’s on Netflix in every country but it is in mine and I highly recommend it. It’s thoughtful, honest, emotional and shot absolutely gorgeously, and it also has that cheesiness that is just... so good... sometimes you just need the cheese y’know???
(Side note, 2020 was the year I saw Pride and Prejudice (2005) for the first time and I am a changed woman. It is now my ultimate comfort movie. Please see it if you have not, I cannot believe it took me this long. I saw it for the first time on an airplane (in january... a lifetime ago) and have seen it many, many times since.)
TV Shows
So, to everyone’s shock but especially my own, I have not really been into TV lately? I watched The Boys because my brother recommended it (it’s good, but gorey and pulls no punches, the R rating is deserved), and recently started watching Jujutsu Kaisen because my sister recommended it (I haven’t watched a new anime in like a year which is kinda wild to me? But I am enjoying this one - the opening SLAPS and what I’ve seen so far has been fun! Plus I’m watching it with my sister and I like sending her reactions xD),,, and that’s pretty much it for this category?? I am aware there is a LOT of good shit out there I just.. .don’t seem to have the attention span for multiple episodes of a Thing these days. Meh. I’m sure it’ll come back to me eventually ^^
Musical Theater
One of the main reasons I think I haven’t been big into TV is because my Musical Passion is in FULL SWING (haha get it). Probably because the only thing that has remained for me during this quarantine is my singing lessons (and lemme tell you... over skype, that shit is ROUGH but still better than not singing at all) and I have been obsessing over learning new songs and finding shows through recommendations and compilation videos on youtube... So.
Shows I listen to a lot these days include Starry, Anastasia, The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, Come From Away (I made a post recently specifically about musicals, you should be able to find it under #French speaks) - specific songs in my range that I am currently learning and obsessing over include “Bring on the men” from Jekyll and Hyde, “The Mad Hatter” from Wonderland, “Show Yourself” from Frozen 2 (I liked it ok I DID), and “Go Tonight” from The Mad Ones (this one makes me cry... I’m making my sister duet it with me bc I can’t stop thinking about it).
Also, if you’re interested in hearing me sing things, head over to my instagram where I post covers (and also art)!!
(Musical people, I am curious to hear opinions about Great Comet, and also The Count of Monte Cristo - two shows I’ve been meaning to check out!)
Video Games
Listen. Animal Crossing New Horizons is awesome and I’m glad I have it (...give me Brewster back, Nintendo, or I WILL RIOT), but I have been branching out into other games for the Switch (might as well make this purchase worth it amirite) - current faves include Celeste (which is SO HARD but also SO FUCKING FUN) and Spiritfarer which I specifically bought to play at the hospital bc I knew I was going to be there for a few days, and let me tell you - best decision of 2020. Please watch the trailer if you haven’t heard of it, it’s GORGEOUS and beautiful and emotional and I loved every second of it. Both of these can also be purchased for PC and I think they are definitely worth the investment!!
In other news I’m back on my Stardew Valley bullshit. It’s just so calming.I revisit it a lot lmao
Books
So... I have been reading. A LOT. I read over 70 books this year, which for me is... average tbh? I have had some less productive reading months but overall I have torn through stuff and BOY do I have recommendations if you want them?? For the sake of brevity I will only mention a few here:
Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space”. That is all. This was my first five star fiction book of the year and I will never be done screaming about it. There is a dedicated but smallish fandom here on tumblr and it deserves SO MUCH MORE. Please, please please. Everyone should read this damn book. It’s confusing in the beginning but I promise it’s worth it IT’S SO GOOD!! And also the sequel is out and it’s also confusing and SO GOOD!!!
Educated by Tara Westover. This is an autobiography and it’s one of those books that like. Stick in your mind for months after you’ve read it. It’s about how this woman escaped an abusive household that was religiously oppressive and also like... survivalist (prepping for the apocalypse) and avidly believed in conspiracy theories - by educating herself, working her way up to going to Harvard. Nothing I say could do the emotional impact of this book justice - and also just, the perspective this book gave me?? Incredible. Education is the most powerful tool and this woman grabbed it by the hair and did not let go and I was FLOORED. Everyone should read this. I don’t even usually read biographies but DAMN.
The Winternight trilogy by Katherine Arden.(Book 1 is called The Bear and the Nightingale). This is a bit of a slow burn type deal - it’s a retelling of a Russian fairy tale (I think?? Or like a folk... story? Something like that) and it is just. So magical. It’s not fast paced but it works up to FANTASTIC moments, the focus is on family and magic and change and “making your own way” and all three of these books were wonderful. It reminded me of Naomi Novic’s Uprooted and Spinning Silver (both of which I also loved back in 2019 and would highly recommend) and they are PERFECT winter reads if you’re looking for something to get cozy with. I liked book 1 well enough but books 2 and 3 knocked it out of the park. Fantastic. Loved them.
I have many more recs but this will do for now hahah
Music
Gonna keep this brief too - my music taste is all over the place, but here are some songs I have been obsessed with recently!! Beware of genre whiplash though because these are Very Different from one another (and different from the musical theater stuff above)
Factories - Autoheart (that bridge gets me every time, idk why. This is one I could have on repeat for hours and not get tired of it either. Something about it just gets me!!)
History Read - The Altogether (The lyrics!! Tbh the entire Silo album is GREAT, but this one is my fave. Their music is so... mellow, in the best way??)
Weather Man - Valley of Wolves (ok this one is just a banger. I’m a sucker for a good sing-along-able hook (that’s not a word. you get me though right) and this fucking DELIVERS. I also just think “I make these dark skies blue, I make these mountains move, let the rain come down, I’m pushing through.... [pause] ... ‘cause I’m the weather man” is such good execution of a concept?? That PAUSE GETS ME it’s just SO FUN?!?! idk man I like a good upbeat banger and this is that.)
I believe (get over yourself) - Nico Vega (this one is just a callout at myself tbh?? “you’re a fool” I AM and I needed to hear it?? It’s also SO FUN to sing!!! We love a banger.)
Kiss me you animal - Burn the Ballroom (mentioning this mainly because it reminded me, lyrically, of Gideon the Ninth and I need someone to confirm this for me before I go insane?? “everybody knows that home is where your teeth sink, love” - I mean c’mon??? Also it’s a banger. I do like some rock from time to time... and this also has a killer driving bassline. This is super fun to drive to, too!!)
((If we have overlap and anyone wants to exchange playlists with me - I am SO here for it. Always looking for new music!!! I mean it!!))
Youtube
Last and certainly not least... meet my newest hyperfixation!!! I have always loved watching video essays, and booktube videos, and arttube videos - and my current niche of favorite creators is the Polygon video team!! They made videos about video games and board games and anything gaming-related and I just. I’m only peripherally a “gamer(TM)” but I love anything and everything they create. (Also you don’t have to know much about video games to enjoy all of their content!! A lot of it is still accessible to Non-Gamers(TM) or casual gamers!)
BDG is my new favorite creator, the Unraveled series he does on the channel is a work of genius - but I have also started watching their streams and older series and I am enjoying myself SO MUCH! I love boardgames so their series on them, Overboard, is so fun and entertaining (and I already know a bunch of games I want to buy based on seeing the gameplay), and it also made me invested in the other creators - particularly Simone, I would die for Simone?? And Pat? And Jenna? They each have their niche and they work really well together too and their videos are my Main Serotonin Machine in these trying times(TM), thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Also. If you’re already following me here and you are familiar with Polygon things I BEG YOU TO COME AND TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM because I am like, bursting, but I also don’t want to flood my dash with stuff that 99% of my followers are unfamiliar with y’know??
...I think I’m going to leave it at this - it’s already a lot!
But thank you once again for asking and for letting me Go Off about things I am interested in!! I just... I very often wish I could do this more, but I’m not sure how to go about it? Should I just do text posts about things?? Would that be interesting to anyone?? Or is that like, annoying? Should I start a review blog or something? dhfajkldhf I just want to talk about things that excite me, but whenever I’m here I often just stick to reblogging other people’s stuff... help?? What do y’all want to see??
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ok so i’ve had this idea for ages. it was og meant as a pre-amnesia/post-amnesia thing. you know the type. but, if you squint real hard it could just me some rando au where they meet when they’re in uni and grow old and happy together.
find yourself a weirdo if that’s your thing :)
Sushi for Two
Message from Étienne (Roommate)
Questions:
1. Do you like sushi?
2. Are you coming home tonight?
Edward is locked up in some study cubicle, nose deep in a myriad of textbooks, trying to get a head start on his never-ending pile of homework and assignments, when the message comes in. He thinks of ignoring it, but to be honest, he’s been on the same problem for the past thirty minutes, he’s been at it for the past three hours and he really should take a break. Therefore, he puts his mechanical pencil down and picks up his phone to see the message.
Message de Édouard
Answers:
1. Yes?
2. Yes??
Étienne beams from his roost on the kitchen counter upon getting the answer. He keeps swinging his legs as he taps out an answer for his roommate and then steals another sushi piece from the half-empty plastic container on the counter beside him.
Message from Étienne (Roommate)
Excellent! I may or may not have ordered too much and figured I could share. However, if you want any, you better get home soon, or I might just finish it off by myself. (There really is a lot.) (Please save me from myself.) (Why the fuck is sushi so goddamn good?)
Edward can’t help but chuckle. His roommate is – odd at times, but he always means well. Étienne’s good for a laugh and to be honest, he likes hanging out with him.
His stomach growls at the idea of free food and he figures he might as well head home. He can get another hour or so done after supper. He ran out of snacks anyways.
Edward packs his bags and then heads out, letting the cold winter air wake him up some from the stuffy study cubicle he had been in.
--
Edward makes it home in less than thirty minutes and lets his bag fall to the ground before removing his boots, jacket, scarf, tuque, and mittens. Of course, there’s already jazz music playing and he’s not even surprised. He’s come to associate the music with Étienne and more often than not, Edward has come home to hear it playing from some speaker, be it the one from the living room, or from Étienne’s computer in his room. It’s even gotten to the point where Edward can recognise some tunes and he’s even asked for the name of at least two songs that he actually really enjoyed. (Étienne had looked ecstatic. He’d even let him borrow the album.) (Edward hadn’t had the heart to tell him that he hadn’t liked the other tracks on it.)
Étienne lowers the music once he sees him and waves him over to the prized container of sushi.
“Were you expecting people over?” Edward says when he sees the multiple plastic boxes of sushi littering the counter. There are at least five and two are empty, while a third one has a decent dent in it.
“I was really hungry and I just ordered all my favourites,” He sounds apologetic and half-guilty, like a child scolded trying to make their case for their actions. Edward laughs, amused by Étienne’s antics, and rolls his eyes. This must have cost a small fortune, but he supposes that’s not his problem.
“That’s the worst way to order food.” He admonishes gently.
“Do you want free sushi or not?”
Edward mimes zipping his mouth shut and Étienne nods, pleased, and then hands over a container and motions for Edward to join him on the counter.
Edward isn’t convinced by the idea and gives his roommate a questionable look, “You know we have perfectly good chairs and a very sturdy table. I’m sure it can hold your mountain of sushi.”
“Shut up, Murphy; this is the only way to eat take-out sushi.” There’s a teasing grin to Étienne’s retort and Edward rolls his eyes and hops up onto the counter. Étienne seems tremendously pleased and Edward figures there’s at least that.
“Lemme guess, you want me to eat with my hands like a heathen?”
Étienne scoffs and nudges the chopsticks out of Edward’s reach. Edward sighs, rolls his eyes, and then picks out a sushi piece, before popping it into his mouth. He likes the variety of textures and flavours, even if he has no idea what’s in it. It’s good, is what matters, and it hits the spot.
They eat this way for a while, tranquil, sitting on the kitchen counter, Étienne’s legs still swinging wildly, and Edward comes to agree with the fact that perhaps this is the best way to eat sushi after all.
“You know,” Edward starts to say when they start picking at another box, “I always liked to eat the leftover sushi on the day after. When it’s a little bit hard. Is that weird?” He says it softly, as if confessing to some deep, shameful secret, but Étienne gasps and looks excited by the shared secret.
“Me too! My sister said I was weird! I sometimes got extra just so I could have hard day old sushi!”
A laugh bubbles out of Edward’s chest that takes hold of Étienne and they both laugh at this shared absurdity.
“I once ordered sushi specifically to eat it the day after,” Edward ads.
“That’s brilliant! Why didn’t I ever think of that?!”
For as much as Étienne is a bit of an oddball, he’s also relatable to a fault at times and Edward has found a kindred spirit in him in the few months he’s been in the city.
“There’s a place back home that’s really good. Like – really, really good. I go there every time I go back home. If ever, for some absurd reason, you’re in town, I’ll take you to it.” He knows he sounds a little hesitant and shy, but the idea of someone like Étienne coming out west to Alberta for any reason whatsoever always sounds odd to him. Étienne seems as though he’d fit best in some bohemian city and not someplace like Edmonton. Still, he can’t help but imagine, if only for a moment, what it would be like to have his friend over, but he rids his mind of such thoughts before they get the best of him.
“Absolutely! You better! Plus you need to take me to your Butter Dish Palace and Talus Valley.”
Edward near chokes laughing and has to hold himself from falling off the counter, “Oh my God – it’s – it’s the Butterdome and the Talus Dome. Then there’s the River Valley. They’re just silly landmarks though... well – ok the River Valley is legit, but –”
Étienne cuts him off before he can go off, “Listen, you’ve shown me photos, you’ve mentioned them forty thousand times, I’ve brought you to the silly landmarks of this city – it’s only fair! I want to see these places with my own eyes! And then you can take me to sushi. It’s the way it’s gotta go, Murphy. I keep bringing you to bagels and other food.”
Edward wants to argue the point, but Étienne is right. In any event, he highly doubts Étienne will actually ever come out to visit him. Still – Étienne is an unpredictable fellow, he might just surprise him.
“All right, all right – hand over the other container now.”
--
Message de Eddy
Questions
1. Do you want sushi?
2. Do you plan on coming home at some point?
Étienne looks away from his easel when he hears his phone chime. He puts down his paintbrush and stretches, before walking over to the worktable where he’s abandoned his phone. It’s been one of those days where he’s locked himself up in the studio and lost all sense of time. He’s been working on a new painting of his – something for his latest series and figured he’d use the day to get a head start. He’s been at it for hours now and his stomach growls in hunger at the idea of sushi. He knows he could use a break. It feels as though his head has been swimming in turpentine, so maybe a change of air is good.
Message from Teddy <3
1. Always.
2. Only if you’re there as well <3
Edward grins to himself when he gets the message from his spot on the kitchen counter. He taps out an answer on his phone and tries to rein himself in from stealing yet another piece of sushi from the already open plastic container. He could eat the rest and pretend there weren’t as many containers, but he knows better.
Message de Eddy
Perfect. I may or may not have a large amount of sushi and I figured I could be nice and share, instead of stuffing my face in it, since you’ve been ignoring me for the past several days. Therefore, if you want any, you better get your butt here. Or I will finish these off by myself. You know I can. (Please, don’t let me do that again. It’s not worth it.)
Étienne laughs; his partner is a gift, honestly. Edward is always good for a laugh and always knows when and how to pull him out from his intense work periods when he somehow or other manages to neglect all basic needs such as food and sleep. It’s as if he has a sixth sense for these things.
Étienne rinses off his paintbrush and tidies up a bit. He figures he might as well take a break and call it a day. He can drive Edward crazy and work on some more coloured sketches instead, just to get a rise out of him.
He shuts the lights and then heads out, letting the change of light and air wake him up some from the smell of paint and turpentine he had been in. (Ventilation only went so far at times, even if it hadn’t been that bad and the patio doors had been open.)
--
Étienne makes it home in less than three minutes and lets himself fall to the bench by the door before removing his shoes and slipping on his slippers. Of course, there’s already jazz music playing and he’s not even surprised. Edward is a giant softy and likes to set up these things for him. He’s come to associate a nice night in with the playlist of jazz music Edward has collected over the years and more often than not, Étienne has been surprised by the rather large collection Edward has garnered with time. It’s even gotten to the point where sometimes, Edward will surprise him with news about a jazz band that he used to follow once upon a time, as if Edward has kept up with them over these long years. (There have been times when Edward has informed him about bands that he no longer cares about.) (Étienne hadn’t had the heart to tell him that he didn’t follow them anymore. Edward had looked ecstatic. Étienne didn’t want to ruin that.)
Edward hops off the kitchen counter and comes to greet him instead, before helping him over back to the counter.
“I didn’t know we were having people over,” Étienne says as he accepts a hand from Edward to get onto the counter. There are at least six containers of sushi and one has at least a piece missing from it.
“I just ordered our favourites and I figured you’d appreciate lunch tomorrow.” He doesn’t sound apologetic and neither does he sound guilty. Instead, he’s defiant, daring Étienne to call him out on his brilliant plan. Étienne rolls his eyes, amused, and fond by Edward’s antics. This must have cost a small fortune, but he supposes that’s not his problem.
He shakes his head for good measure and Edward gently shoves at his shoulder.
“Do you want free sushi or not?”
Étienne answers by reaching over for one of the containers and offers first pick to Edward as a peace offering. Edward nods, pleased, and takes a piece he’d been eyeing since the container had arrived. He then motions for Étienne to join him.
There are no chopsticks and there is no need for much conversation. There’s a perfectly good set of chairs and a very sturdy table they could use, but the kitchen counter makes it all the better, especially when they’re sitting at it. They’re tranquil, pleased in each other’s company and the whole setting helps enhance the flavours of the now very familiar sushi. It’s good, still, and it hits the spot.
Étienne still swings his legs out of habit and Edward stills it with his foot for a moment, before leaning in close. Étienne stops and lets him have the moment for the time being. Even after all these years, this is still the best way to eat sushi, in his humble opinion.
“You know,” Étienne starts to say when they start picking at another box, “Forget lunch; I’d rather have these for breakfast with you tomorrow morning.”
Edward looks at him for a moment and then grins, soft and pleased, “There’s just something about leftover sushi on the day after.” He adds. Étienne nods and steals the next piece, before Edward can get to it.
“Weirdo,” Étienne says, mouth full, grin wide.
“Your weirdo.” Edward corrects.
Étienne smiles at him, soft and sweet, and oh so very pleased. “My weirdo,” He agrees.
“We make a good pair of weirdoes.” Edward says after a lapsed moment of silence, once they’ve slowed down on the intake of sushi.
Étienne leans his head on his shoulder as an answer and they fall quiet once again in the knowledge of the statement. They remain seated on their kitchen counter, sushi boxes littering the place for a while longer, before they’ll get stacked away in the refrigerator, and then eaten the following morning at that strange but delicious consistency they both like. They’ll sit beside the Butterdome butter dish Edward had brought back from Edmonton that one winter and will remain hidden behind the refrigerator door filled with magnets of all the strange but wonderful landmarks of both Montréal, Edmonton and all the other wonderful and sometimes strange cities they’d visited over the years.
It doesn’t matter what Étienne’s sister thinks, but when they’ll next head over to Edmonton for a visit, Edward knows Étienne will find another magnet to add of his favourite “Talus Valley.” They’ll stop by Kyoto, the place Edward had mentioned ages ago, like they always do when they visit together, and they’ll order too much sushi, like they always do. They’ll say they need to try other places – Étienne will go so far as to find all the worst rated places they could go to, but in the end they’ll stick to their tried and tested. There’s just something comforting in the knowledge of familiarity that they’ve both come to love with time.
FIN
#pc: montreal#pc: edmonton#edward murphy#étienne maisonneuve#au#fic#pre amnesia au#i guess#day old sushi is really good lamao#i also want sushi#so many domes#also here's a thought#is the second part before the accident or after the accident#HA#HAA#HAAA#HAAAA#amnesia au#post amnesia au#you know the drill ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ah
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The Assistant / Chapter Twenty-Three, “Bleeding Heart”
hello hello. i’m so sorry that i’m an awful person and i haven’t written in a bahillion years. life has been wack and i fell out of writing for awhile. instead of doing homework like a good human being - yay! - i found this chapter i had started and i finished it. it’s not as long as usual, i know, but i did that on purpose and you’ll see why ;) ;) ;) ;) i hope i can write some more soon and stick with this. i’m unreliable i know and i’m terribly sorry. college and work are crazy and my mom was just diagnosed with 2 kinds of cancers soooo oooo life truly is crazy and overwhelming rn. i hope to maybe set aside some time each night to write, but it’s hard to stop when it’s getting fun haha. i enjoyed writing this chapter and delving more into this story, like idek where it’s gonna go haha.
anyways lemme know what you think of this chapter. i wanna hear your predictions and thoughts!!!!!!!!! reblog, like, share with friends, say hi to me :)
one last thing. we should decide a ship name for harry and becks, i mean it’s been coming. here are my ideas and feel free to send me others :D
a) hecks (my personal fav)
b) barry (i just think of rachel’s barry from FRIENDS but it’s ok)
c) hebecca????
d) ??????
e) hecky?
“No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO.
I try to breathe in, but I can’t.
And suddenly the switch inside of me changes. Instead of pushing him away for the last few weeks, I want him. I want him to come and save me.
The laugh that falls from my lips surprises the both of us. “You can’t hurt me anymore.”
The swarm of voices that crowded my ears from before is now gone. A soft chatter of voices occupies the conference room now, around an hour after the festivities had begun. Now the fun is over and the last few of us clean up the forgotten plates, take down the streamers donning the walls, push in the chairs, vacuum up the crumbs, and everything else required to return the room to its former glory.
“Hey, you stop that,” somebody says from behind me. “This was yer party, yer not s’posed to be cleaning it up,” they finish as I turn around to find Harry pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes as he grasps a wet rag in the other hand.
“No, I want to help. Please,” I reply, turning back to the table and picking up the spray bottle. I spritz the plastic top and run the wet rag over the spot, repeating in sections until I finish the table.
“Fine, I guess you can help,” Harry huffs and I smile to myself in triumph as I return to my cleaning. “So, what did ya think?”
“It was a lot of fun and very nice of all of you, thank you so much again,” I tell him trying to circumvent having a conversation. I move to the other end of the table as he begins on the next one over.
A few male coworkers fold up the table to my left and carry it out the door, probably to place back in storage. My eyes life to find Harry leaning over the table he scrubs and he must notice my pause because he meets my eyes. But I can’t look at him, not today.
“I’m glad ya had such a good time, ‘m sure everybody else did too . . Everybody’s going t’ miss ya, ya know,” he comments, and I nod with a small smile. I don’t know how much more of this awkward small talk I can put up with, especially as the domino that caused all of this is gnawing at my insides. Particularly the part where he could have stopped it coming to this.
But he didn’t.
The rest of the clean up consists of few words between Harry and I, or anybody else for that matter. We cleaned tables, folded them and carried them away, stacked chairs, vacuumed, packed things away, and carried more things away. The room was now bleak with its new emptiness and quiet, all of the people previously filling it returning to their lives. Luckily I found my escape shortly after the room was all squared away.
“All done?” a voice asks me. I look over my shoulder and find Asher tying up a bloated garbage bag. My stomach drops all of a sudden with disappointment at who it is, and who it’s not.
“Yep.” I nod. Then I feel bad for being disappointed. Oh it’s just a never-ending rollercoaster, isn’t it?
“I can’t believe you helped clean up. The whole point was having other people do stuff for you, and then you helped them?!” Asher laughs with a disbelieving shake of his head. He happens to pull a giggle from my unsure lips. I sheepishly nod at his words, and I give him another laugh when he almost trips over the garbage bag.
“Are you on your way out now?”
“Yeah, I think so. I just have to drop off some last-minute things - keys and keycards, that sorta thing. But now I can’t find the person to give them to . . ,” I confess, losing my words as I scan the room for those green eyes and that mustard top.
“Hmmmph, well it’s getting late. Maybe he left or had something. You could leave them with Myles or Jennings, I’m sure if you wanna get outta here. I know you’re just dying to get those drinks with me tomorrow,” Asher quips, turning my lips up with his words.
I leave him with a few words, telling him I’ll see him later. I say goodbyes to a few people as I leave the conference room and begin my hunt to find Harry. One I’m not sure how I want to end.
I find my desk empty and many others as well. Glancing at my watch, I find that the hours have flown by. Many people jetted out of here as it’s five o'clock on a Friday afternoon. The cushion welcomes me as I sit down in my chair for the last time, but I don’t miss its welcoming squeak. The squeaking continues as I spin my last spin in the chair, feeling hot tears at the back of my eyes at the finality of my actions. My mug of pencils- no, it’s not my mug anymore. It never was mine.
A polar bear post-it note holder invades my -not my desk - along with framed pictures of strangers, a bright pink day planner, candy apple lotion, and other foreign objects belonging to the new owner of this desk. Who isn’t me. A long sigh leaves my lips as I release my hands I didn’t know I was clenching.
“It’s now or never,” I say aloud, willing myself to stand.
Okay, Becky, we can do this. This isn’t even the hard part.
But it is, I think to myself as my eyes glance up and memories that took place at this desk spin through my head. Making Harry laugh for the first time. Silly arguments with him about which was the better movie. How easily he made me smile by bringing me coffee out of nowhere and- Stop, Becky, you can’t do this now, I tell myself as I swipe a hot tear away from under my eye. I exhale as I get to my feet and feel for the ring of keys in my pocket. Good, they’re still there.
The hallway is dim, but the light from the London evening comes in through the many windows around the office. His hallway. A hallway I will never walk again. Fuck, am I really sure I want to do this? How can I not see him again? You can and you will. You have to, Becky. It was too hard sitting there day after day wanting him. And him not wanting you back. I nod to myself, trying to affirm those words to myself. They don’t do that good of a job, because of the person I see around the corner.
“Oh hey, bug. A-are ya leavin’?” Harry stutters, his furrowed emerald eyes falling on me. He comes to a stop in front of me, running a hand through his mop of curls.
“U-uh yeah. I was just going to drop off the keys with you and go over a few things.”
“Yeah yeah, sounds good. I jus’ really gotta take a leak, so ‘ll be back in a minute, ‘kay?” He asks with a pat on my arm. I nod with a soft ‘okay,’ as I turn to watch him walk away. Nodding with a thumbs up, he gives me a small sad smile before turning around and walking down the hallway. I watch until he’s gone.
Almost done. But now for the hard part. Leaving him for the last time, I contemplate with a pout. I shuffle my feet to his door and twist the knob. Immediately, his familiar woodsy scent hits me. Suddenly, all of my senses are inundated with him. His messy desk. His blazer draped over his chair. Bookmarked biographies dotting his desk. Empty mugs of tea taking up empty spots. The essential oil diffuser in the corner humming as it mists Sandalwood. Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 trickling from a Bluetooth speaker in the corner. Harry. It’s all him. And my reserves begin to fall. Can I really do this? No, there’s no way I can. Even if I have to sit at that desk day after day trying to love him, it’s better than leaving him.
Yeah, and then what about when he marries Amber or somebody else that’s not you?
I gulp, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat and at the same time pressing my fingers against my eyes, willing them to dry.
“Wow, are we getting a little teary-eyed on our last day?” a voice snarks from behind me.
No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO.
I try to breathe in, but I can’t.
And suddenly the switch inside of me changes. Instead of pushing him away for the last few weeks, I want him. I want him to come and save me. To save me from her. And to see her for the monster that she is.
The laugh that falls from my lips surprises the both of us. “You can’t hurt me anymore, Amber,” I snap, turning around to face her with a wry smile coating my lips.
“Oh I don’t know about that, I still can. But hey, I won, and don’t you forget that,” she retorts. Amber’s blonde curls shake as she stomps her foot and points a tanned manicured finger at me. How can he even comfortably hold hands with those daggers?
Her blow hits me, and she knows it. I can’t hide it, because I’ve lost it. The last few weeks or even months have taken everything from me. My grandpa dying, my mom’s abusive treatment towards me, Harry’s bipolarness, and Amber’s physical and mental attacks. I lost.
“I don’t care,” I croak, throwing up my hands in defeat. The keys on the ring twinkle with movement in my hand.
“But you do! I know you do!” she cackles, excitement twisting her plastic face into a Cheshire grin. “You wanted him, but you couldn’t have him and so you gave up! I won!�� Amber continues, stepping towards me in her flowy scarlet blouse and skin-tight black jeans.
I instinctively step back and away from her, but I stop when I think I hear a noise. It’s a loud squeak on the floor that makes me stop, but it doesn’t stop right away.
“I don’t care, Amber, you can have him! I told him what you did to me and he didn’t believe me because of whatever spell you put on him. So you can keep him and live a wonderful, happy life together. I don’t care anymore, and I hate that I ever did,” I announce with weight to my words, willing my feet to lift from the carpet, but they won’t.
Amber chuckles, crossing her arms with a pleased smile of satisfaction painting her face. “I can’t believe you had the nerve to tell him what I did to you,” she mutters in disbelief, shaking her head. “As if Harry would believe that I’d do such a thing. He probably thinks you made it up. Hell, for all I know I never laid a finger on you and you just imagined the whole thing.”
“You left marks on me, Amber,” I spit out through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, and apparently that wasn’t even enough to convince Harry. God, I really do have him wrapped around my finger,” Amber sighs happily. “I can’t do anything wrong in his eyes. He hasn’t even noticed how much I’ve been gone lately, or how often I’ve been texting this new bloke I’m fucking on the side.”
“You slut!” I exclaim, not being able to hold it in. “Harry loves you and would do anything for you! He built this firm from the ground up! He’s sweet, he’s kind, he’s giving, he’s funny- he’s amazing and that’s how you treat him?!”
“Excuse me?! Who here was throwing themselves at my boyfriend right in front of me?!” Amber argues, taking another frightening step toward me. She’s no longer laughing, but instead, her drawn-on eyebrows have fallen into a point above her glassy stare.
“How dense are you?!” I laugh, feeling the anger rise warmly in my chest. I really don’t care anymore. “You have such a huge problem with that - which never happened, thank you - but you think it’s okay to cheat on your boyfriend?! My god, you really are fucking dumb!”
“You just had your last laugh, bitch, because I’m going to slap that smug smile right off your face,” she snarls, taking several steps before I can almost see the flames rising in her eyes.
“No, you won’t!” a voice announces.
I take my eyes off of Amber to see who said that, but it’s a second too long that lets her clawed hand accost my face.
#the assistant#pa harry#harry styles#fanfiction#wattpad#one direction#harry au#lawyer harry#writing#love#idk#books#read#check it out#long time no see#harry#fine line#fanfic#au#new chapter
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How the hell do you have confidence in yourself. I have never learned how to do that. In my whole life. Never had it. Shake during interviews lol. Can't stop it. I'm pathetic. I hate fearing everything and wish I was someone else.
Anon, my friend, do I have some stories for you. Here is my pre-teen self confidence issues and how I said fuck all that mess.
Back in like... freshman or sophomore year of high school (so I was around 14-15 y/o) I couldn’t look at anyone in the eye. If I walked in the streets I would keep my head down and walk around people, and that would make my walk to school like 20x longer and more painful. I would apologize to people bumping into me, I would apologize for getting in the way, etc, etc. I live in nyc so this happened quite frequently + there’s always someone on the street you’re walking, esp during rush hour.
Then one day I was in the middle of my walk and some asshole bumped into me hard enough for my shoulder to bruise, and just before I could apologize, he called me a bitch for getting in his way. I was pissed for the whole week. I hadn’t been this angry in a hot minute. After that, I was like ’why the fuck am I moving out of the way, apologizing to people, when they 1) are too busy with their own lives 2) don’t care 3) caused it?’
Then this led to the whole self-realization of what made me so “meek/nervous” all the time. I didn’t like people looking at me. I didn’t want people judging me by my appearance, by how I walked, by how my arms swing, etc etc. I didn’t want to be looked at. I didn’t want to be judged by people who only get one impression of me. That was my whole issue, at the very core of it, summarized into one sentence.
Now, this realization happened late fall, meaning winter came to bite everyone’s ass. In the winter, I always use a scarf, and I realized well, if I really don’t want to be looked at, then lemme just cover half of my face with my scarf. My nose won’t get cold, and people won’t have to look at me. Fantastic.
After that, I started looking straight ahead. I knew the potholes and cracks of the streets and sidewalks pretty well so I kept my head up and high, looked straight past the person, and at first I acted as if I was in an impatient rush. People moved out of my way and I didn’t have to bump into anyone. I don’t know if the scarf made me more intimidating to them or if it was just the fact that I started standing straight, but it worked. And after winter, I had trained myself to not look down anymore. I still didn’t want people looking at me, but it was easier now that I was used to not looking at anyone. Because as long as I don’t look at them, I won’t know if they’re looking at me or not. By acknowledging what made me uncomfortable, I created my own gradual step into my own self confidence, using my scarf.
And in doing so, I became a different person.
“Shake during interviews lol. Can't stop it.”
My very first interview was when I was 15 applying to a well known park in my city, and when I first applied, I had wrote “lol” at the end of my answers to, like... every other question. My interviewer had a fun time reading my answers to me, and at the time I was Super Embarrassed, but now when I go to my more “professional” interviews, I think back to that and I’m like “ok, there’s no way I can do worse than that (fun fact, I did in fact do worse than that, and I still got the job I had been applying for anyways). I’ll be fine. Who cares.” (Also, later on when I got to meet my coworkers, they told me this internship was highly competitive and they only accepted 20 people. I was like how the fuck did I get in then when i was so ‘unprofessional’???)
I haven’t met a single person who wasn’t nervous before or during interviews. I had a friend tell me that he had an interviewer who was more nervous than he was!! That interviewer said it was his “first time doing an interview, so please be gentle with me.” (it sounds weird in English but that’s the best translation I can do lol)
If you can’t stop shaking but you want to control it, I would suggest finding another way of releasing that pent up energy. For me, I used to go to the bathroom or a private area and just start jumping and shaking out my hands or punch the air. It was funny as fuck, but it worked. You might find that helpful? Or maybe you can calm yourself down by running your hands under cold water (not hot, hot is painful, cold is more soothing in a way).
I'm pathetic.
Nah. I’ll say this right now. You’re not pathetic. Don’t call yourself pathetic either, cuz you’re not, and you shouldn’t lie to yourself. If you can’t stop calling yourself pathetic/degrading or undermining your value, then come to me and I’ll be the one to tell you you are not pathetic. HMU whenever you’d like, my friend.
I hate fearing everything and wish I was someone else.
I feel you on this. Or, I should say, I felt you on this. For me, I stopped fearing everything when I realized I straight up don’t give a fuck. I can’t give a fuck. What’s the worst thing that’s gonna happen to me? Will they judge me in a negative light? Who cares, who the fuck do they think they are judging me? Are they any better? Can they do the shit I do? Nah. Do they know me? Nah!! So what I accidentally knocked over your fake plant, I put it back together with my bare hands and I presented my fire ass resume/cover letter. What’s more important?
Interviews, generally, are 30min-1hour. One hour before my interview, I get ready. If I’m feeling really nervous, I put up my “front” of someone well put together, who knows how to dress (thanks youtube fashion bloggers, specifically bestdressed), who has the confidence and friendliness of a golden retriever, and I keep that shit up for the entire interview. It’s 30min-1hour. I can do it. I become a whole different person who doesn’t fear shit and take no shit, either. Afterwards, the moment I’m out of the building or in the train station, I’ll drop the front and shake and wipe my sweaty clammy hands on my pants and call it a day.
You wish to become someone else? Why don’t you? What’s stopping you, in the end? You wanna dye your hair but you’re scared of what people will say? When I was minding my own business with my dog in the park, my scarf over my nose, a random woman came up to me just to say it wasn’t that cold out and I should take down my scarf. I said, “what, did you want to see my pretty face that badly?” She got tight and left. That’s her own fucking problem.
People, in the end, will probably judge no matter what you do. Why don’t you become the person you want to be? Like I said before, my biggest fear at the age of 15 was people judging and looking at me. Now I’m 20 and that’s like. My least concern lol. Granted, it took 5 years of me building up my confidence and shit, but now I’m here.
I will also say that I have a sister 11 years older than me, so she encouraged me to be the more chill, confident, independent, badass nonbinary gal I can be. And she always says: At an interview, the worst that can happen is that they say no. And if they do, then they don’t deserve me/you anyways!!
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA SAY FUCK IT!!!!
Anyways this is my advice, from one previously nervous wreck to another. Hope this helps. Like I said, come to my inbox whenever you want. I may be 20 years old but I got the advice of an 80 year old. love u friend.
#long post#n e ways i snuck on my phone for u anon i love u#personal#advice#interview help#dunno how else to tag lol#DEADASS BRO YOU JUST GOTTA SAY FUCK IT SOMETIMES#FUCK IT!!!!!
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Ten thing you love about Robert Baratheon.
i am so glad you asked!!!!
1. HIS UNENDING, UNDYING, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR LYANNA (and Ned, cannot forget about Ned). I just, I love it ok????? A decade and a half later and he still loves her so much, wishes for things to have turned out different and kdlagjsñlkgj.
Ned had loved her with all his heart. Robert had loved her even more.”
“She was more beautiful than that,” the king said after a silence. His eyes lingered on Lyanna’s face, as if he could will her back to life. […] “Ah, damn it, Ned, did you have to bury her in a place like this?“ His voice was hoarse with remembered grief. "She deserved more than darkness…”
I’m just??? fucking soft????? I die??? His fucking devotion???? He didn’t want to marry anyone after Lyanna died and it was only Jon, a man he loved as a father, who convinced him otherwise. ROBERT ONLY CALLS LYANNA BEAUTIFUL AND NO ONE ELSE. And is this speculation??? IDGAF??? BUT I’M SURE SHE WAS THE MOST (THE ONLY) BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD TO HIM. And fuck, but I could go on forever on this, really.
2. MUSCLED LIKE A MAIDEN’S FANTASY, but also as he is in canon. Yes, I said it. No matter his shape, I love one (1) Horned God!
3. HE WAS A GOOD FATHER, yes he was. Mya was his first born, and not only we’re explicitly told Robert was very much an active part of her early life, but the memory she recalled also implied she felt loved and incredibly safe with him.
"I remember a man throwing me in the air when I was very little. He stands as tall as the sky, and he throws me up so high it feels as though I’m flying. We’re both laughing, laughing so much that I can hardly catch a breath, and finally I laugh so hard I wet myself, but that only makes him laugh the louder. I was never afraid when he was throwing me. I knew that he would always be there to catch me.”
Safe and loved. While in a healthy place in his life, he was a good goddamned father, enjoyed spending time with the child he knew he had at the time. I don’t blame him for his neglect of Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen, because it was Cersei who never let him near them for long. Robert tried, she got difficult, he gave up, and since he was already deep into his depression (and getting worse by the day), I’m not surprised.
4. HIS CHARM. It was genuine, fucking genuine, there was no ulterior motive to it. It’s why Ned was so taken with him yet rejects others. It’s why he managed to turn foes in to friends during the rebellion. It’s why he was so well loved, at least mostly (there are some salties who don’t like him but they cray :p)
5. HE EMBRACED CATELYN LIKE A LONG-LOST SISTER. I’m pretty sure prior to the Ned/Cat wedding, and this is assuming Robert was even there, they never interacted, so the fact that he greeted her so warmly by virtue of being Ned’s wife is wonderful. It’s enough for me to know Robert extended the brotherly love he has for Ned onto Catelyn. That’s really fucking wonderful.
6. His complicated relationship with his brothers. Blood ties does not mean people HAVE to get along or love each other, sometimes it’s just not possible. Robert was sent to the Eyrie pretty young, he spent, and this is a guess, but he probably spent the better part of a decade creating and solidifying his bond with Ned and away from his own brothers and that. Was. Not. His. Fault. That he didn’t have much in common with Stannis was not his fault, that they couldn’t get along. Was. Not. Robert’s. Fault. So, the fandom should just back the fuck off.
7. His eagerness to recapture the happiest time of his life once he reunited with Ned. How he was completely unapologetic about it too. I love it!! HE’S LIKE A LITTLE PUPPY!!
8. HIS ABSOLUTE, OVERWHELMING, ENDLESS LOVE FOR LYANNA (and Ned, also Ned). Mm??? I said this already???? I’m repeating it. Just, lemme say this again. Over a DECADE LATER and he still loves her completely, absolutely, still mourns her, his grief genuine, he’s never stopped fucking suffering for her, still yearns to save her even though she’s been long gone. HE HAS NOT FORGOTTEN HER FACE FU SHOW and speculation again? IDGAF, I’m sure hers is the only face he sees when he’s drunk and trying to escape his wretched reality (good for you Bobby, make yourself happy ;A;). He’s actually fucking glad to die so he could finally see her again???? I just, ugh, fuck me sideways, the feels.
“That did not bring her back.” Robert looked away, off into the grey distance. “The gods be damned. It was a hollow victory they gave me. A crown … it was the girl I prayed them for. Your sister, safe … and mine again, as she was meant to be. I ask you, Ned, what good is it to wear a crown? The gods mock the prayers of kings and cowherds alike.”
D E C E A S E D.
9. His desire to unite his and Ned’s house/family? Precious. ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO BE NED’S BROTHER FOR REAL, FUCKING LET HIM???? All he ever wanted was to be a Stark, to marry Lyanna and be happy with her, and there’s nothing wrong with that???? And, and, you know? Lyanna would’ve come to love him back too, they just needed time to get to know each other. They needed time and complete honesty and they would’ve been perfect for each other. All her complaints about him could’ve been addressed and worked on, because, dude come on, she’s no walk in the park either. Give or take, yea? Robert loved her so completely I’m sure he would’ve done anything for her if she’d only asked. So yea, fucking let my boy marry the girl he loves, let her fall back in love with him, FUCKING LET HIM BE HAPPY DAMMIT.
10. He was a good king if only because he ensured someone just and capable, competent, took charge of the realm knowing he wouldn’t. So, you know, he tried, ok? He tried, and succeeded, yea.
#the points i made??? not up for debate#no. i do not take criticism#demons do not interact pls and thanks#robert baratheon#my soft slutty son#i love him#he's perfect#i'm right and i should say it#yaana-aella
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The Outsiders: Squit's Sh*ttiest Birthday Ever!
The Outsiders: Squit's Sh*ttiest Birthday Ever! (Episode 6)
Published: 11-04-19 - Updated: 11-08-19
It's Squit's 29th birthday and he is planning a dinner party but it clashes with a more popular bash so that his only guests are Pinky, Brain, Wakko, Pesto and Brain's exchange neighbour Patrice. This is the 6th fanfic episode of The Outsiders. Thx. Rated R for Strong Language/Mature Themes/Sexual Language.
Part 1: About Squit's Girlfriend
(The main 5 are at Squit's house with Patrice, a 22 year-old French exchange neighbour. Squit is using his computer.)
Brain: [about the French exchange neighbour] I dunno, he seems a bit weird. He asked me if I've tried the "Sleeping Beauty?"
Wakko: Oh, it's so awesome.
Brain: What, you know it?
Wakko: Yeah, you sit on your arm 'til your hand goes dead. 10-15 minutes is normally enough. And then when you jerk off, it feels like someone else is doing it.
Brain: How do you know these things?
Pinky: Oh, everyone knows the Sleeping Beauty; that's so 1984.
Brain: Is it?
Pinky: Fuck yeah, my cousin's brother invented it. He and his bros used to be called The Dead Hand Gang.
Squit: They had a gang based on masturbation? Oh there's nothing gay about that.
Pinky: Yeah, well he's in the Air Force now, so how gay's that?
Squit: Still quite gay. (Charlotte's online on Skype) Oh, shit, Charlotte's online.
Wakko: You asked her along yet?
Squit: No. I don't know if I should.
Brain: Go on, it'll be great.
Squit: Really, do you think so?
Brain: Yeah, it's cool, just say, "Hi".
Squit: (finished typing) Done it. Oh, wow, she's come straight back. She says, "Hi, whassup". Smiley face.
Pinky: Now, ask her the fuck out!
Squit: No, can't just jump in, not the way things have been with us.
Brain: At least have to charm her a bit first.
Squit: (finished typing) I've written "Just hanging out with Brain and his French exchange". Okay, another smiley face. Can't bring myself to send a smiley back, but I could write "lol" if I absolutely had to.
Pinky: Do that. That'll be dope as hell!
Squit: "LOL! Anyway, it's my birthday. Come for dinner, please?" (silence) That pause isn't good.
Pesto: Calm down, it's only been a second, dummy!
(Another short silence)
(Charlotte's offline)
Squit: (annoyed) Oh, for Christ's sake! She's gone offline rather than answer whether or not she'll come to my birthday?!
Wakko: Maybe the connection dropped?
Squit: Nope, it was back and forward, back and forward. Then a question about dinner and she's gone.
Pinky: Look, she didn't say, "No" did she?
Squit: No. But she did hang up.
Brain: C'mon. I'm sure she'll be there.
Squit: Well, not sure, but y'know.
Anya: (came downstairs) Oh, hello, Brain.
Brain: Hey, An.
Patrice: Bonjour.
Anya: (giggled) Oh, my goodness, you're French.
Brain: This is Patrice, he's my sort of French exchange neighbour. Patrice, this is Squit's sis.
Anya: Hello. Well, I'm just gonna play tennis. Ha, don't know why I mentioned that. Bye.
Brain: See ya.
Squit: Thanks, bye!
Wakko: See ya lata.
Pinky: Peace.
Anya: Au revoir, Patrice.
Patrice: Au revoir. (She leaves the house.) Your sister is very ze sexy.
Squit: Uhhh...what?
Patrice: She has ze sex. (walks away awkwardly)
Pinky: Well, damn! He's a strange one. Fuck me, right?
Wakko: But he's French, they're sometimes weird?
Squit: Oh, god, please don't be racist.
Wakko: How's that racist, I'm just saying that he barely says anything and when he does speak it's always about sex. Just like all French people.
(Squit N/R: The next day was my birthday. Whilst I was making my final preparations, including putting on shit music girls would like, Patrice had been busy too.)
Patrice: I just had a really nice, er tug, thinking about your mother. I think some went on the floor. Sorry. (Shows Squit the liquid on his red sofa.)
Squit: (sarcastically/disgusted) Great, thanks, Patrice. (The door rang) I'll get it. It could be Charlotte. (He opens to see Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko instead of Charlotte)
Pinky: Yo, bender. (Drinking Red Bull)
Squit: (looking unimpressed) Oh.
(Squit N/R: Happy birthday to me. It was 8.30pm on my 29th birthday in July 19th 2006, and my party was in full swing.)
Brain: Where's your plus one anyways, Pinky?
Pinky: Not coming. She got a modelling job, had to fly to Paris. Barmaid by day, supermodel by night.
Squit: (sarcastically) Sounds likely.
Pinky: Where's Little Miss Stuck-up Cock-tease?
Brain: Do you mean Billie?
Pinky: Uhhh...yeah. Duh.
Brain: I don't think Billie will make it.
Pesto: Why not?
Wakko: Is something up?
Brain: No, it's nothing like that. I just sort of didn't invite her in the end.
Pinky: Wow. You really are a pussy, why am I not surprised?!
Brain: Hey, at least I tried!
Squit: (slightly annoyed) So lemme get this straight, there are gonna be no women here then? None at all? I don't know why I bother.
Pinky: Well, I wouldn't say there will be no women.
Pesto: Yeah, not no women!
Squit: (confused) Wait. So there are some women coming?
Wakko: Maybe, maybe not.
(Pinky, Wakko and Pesto are smirking as their mischievous.)
Squit: (still not looking unimpressed) Look, it's very clear from your smirking faces and tone of voice that actually there are some women coming.
Pinky: We got you a special birthday treat.
Squit: Did you?
Wakko: (takes a deep breath) STRIPPER!
Squit: What?!
Wakko: Yup. (laughs)
Squit: Have you really bought a stripper?!
Pinky: Relax, she was only $5 million!
Squit: How have you paid for that?!
Wakko: We haven't yet, we'll just have a whip round when she gets here.
Brain: A whip round?! We don't have $1 million each!
Pinky: Nah, it's...oh...shit, you are absolutely right about dat, my paycheck doesn't come out till tomorrow at noon. Sorry, bruh.
Squit: (sarcastically) Great, so until a $5 million angry lap dancer turns up, we are without female company. Gee, thank you very much for my 29th birthday, I really appreciate it a lot.
Pinky: Okay fine, if ya gonna be savage about it, I will pick some girls up from outside.
Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, please! Pick me up some random girls from the street for me.
Brain: Or, we can go to Buster's party, it's happening right now.
Wakko: Yeah.
Pesto: As a matter of fact, why aren't we there in the first place? It will be much better than this shit joint.
Squit: (sarcastically) Why thank you very much for that remark right there. (grabs a bottle of wine) More wine!?
Pinky: Ohhh...I bet it reeks of ass in there.
Squit: Ohhh...and I bet it's not.
Pinky: Yes, it is.
Squit: No, it's not!
Pinky: Is!
Squit: Not!
Pinky: Is!
Squit: (getting angry) Not!
Pinky: Well, I don't see why NOT! (furious)
Wakko: Guys, please. Calm down.
Squit: Look, I put a lot of effort into this! I made a really nice coq au vin...
Pinky: Cock of WAT?! (laughs)
Pesto: Bruh...your fuckin' high.
Brain: You don't help yourself, do you?
Squit: Oh yeah, I see, 'coq' au vin, very mature! It actually means chicken in wine, doesn't it, Patrice?
Patrice: Quoi?
Squit: Well, it does, and it doesn't mean cock up my ass, or cock on my head, or...
Pesto: ...you got some cock in the back of a van.
Squit: Or that I got some cock in the back of a van! Look, all I wanted was a nice, civilised and sophisticated birthday party. Like we did back in 1993, when we first began out acting career back at Warner Bros. Just something a little different from the usual parties - maybe even the sort of party that girls are impressed by! OK, so there aren't any girls here, but why don't we at least attempt to have a sophisticated conversation? We are in the 20s and were not teenagers anymore. I know it's a tall order, and I'm not expecting sparkling, but let's give it a go, eh, fellas, since it is my FUCKING BIRTHDAY!
[everyone sits in chastened silence for a while. Then...]
Wakko: How much Lego can you stuff up your ass?
Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake!
Wakko: No not now, like when you were younger, how much did you get up there?
Pinky: Your fuckin' high.
Brain: Why were sticking Lego up your rear end?
Wakko: Not much, just rectangular ones. Unless, you wanna come to my house and prove it.
Squit: (stands up) FINE! Fine! Let's go to Buster Bunny's house!
Pesto: FUCK YEAH!
Brain: (whispers to Squit) Are you sure?
Squit: Oh, please. It's the last thing I wanted to do. She's not coming, is she? And a skillful raconteur like Wakko is wasted on just us.
Pinky: Nice one. Now I get a proper three-course meal, hoe, puh and a V!
(They all leave Squit's house.)
Part 2: A Long Journey
(Squit N/R: So we headed into the night, and found Pinky's three courses sitting on a fence.)
Pinky: 'Allo, 'allo. (Points at 3 girls drinking wine on the street) Here they are.
Wakko: Nice.
Brain: I dunno. They look a bit rough. Are they drinking in the street?
Pinky: Dirty. I love it!
Squit: Not quite the sophisticates I had in mind, but at least they're female.
Pesto: I think you should go over, Pinky.
Pinky: Nah, B should.
Brain: What? Why me?
Pinky: Alphabetical. You got that bent look girls go for anyway.
Brain: Fine, if you're gonna be a douche, you go!
Pinky: Sorry for being "a douche"! Look, are ya gonna go or not!?
Pesto: Just go, B, it's freezing out here.
Squit: Come on, Brain. For me? For my birthday? Remember?!
Brain: (sigh) God, fine. (He comes up to the girls) Hi, there.
Girl 1: What ya fuckin' say!?
Brain: Uhhh...hello.
Girl 1: And what?
Brain: Uhhh...I wanted to ask you to a party?
Girl 1: I'm 13.
Brain: (in shock) Oh, sorry. I didn't know.
Girl 2: And I'm 11, you scum.
Brain: Yep, there's been a mistake, so...
Girl 1: Like looking at little girls, do ya?
Girl 2: Like getting 'em to parties where you can touch 'em, do ya?
Brain: No, God, no. Look, I'm going now.
Girl 3: Pedo!
Girl 1: You fuckin' pedo!
Girl 2: Yeah, run, you pedo.
(Patrice strokes his dick right in front of them.)
Brain: What the fuck, Patrice?!
Girl 1: Ewww! I'm gonna get my fuckin' brother on you!
Girl 3: Motherfucka!
(The others run away.)
Girl 1: That's it, run away, pedo boy!
Girl 2: Keep going, pedo! Keep walking, you fuckin' pedo!
Pinky: (sarcastically) Nice one, Brain.
Brain: Me?! It was fucking Patrice who pissed them off in the first place!
Pinky: You tried to scum them up, scumbag!
Brain: (grabs Pinky's snout with anger) I'm not in the mood for this, just warning you!
Pinky: "Ooh, watch out, Uncle Brain might give me a special bop with his stupid pencil!" Look, you're being awkward as fuck! Girls don't love dat shit!
Brain: (let's go of Pinky) Whatever!
Squit: (reads his text) Oh, fuck.
Pesto: What's for pudding, Squit?
Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, I dunno. Just a middle-aged woman demanding $5 million!
(The message from a stripper that says "WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY AND WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!")
Wakko: Oh, shit.
Pinky: What are we gonna do?
Brain: I think we should go.
Squit: (sigh) Yes, fine, I give up. Let's try to get in to Buster Bunny's.
Brain: What about your dinner party?
Squit: Forget it. You can lead a horse to water but can't stop it sticking Lego up its ass.
(Patrice started pissing in the street for no reason.)
Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake, Patrice, don't do that!
Wakko: God, Brain, he's a nightmare! We can't have him scare all the hoes away at the party, let's ditch him.
Brain: I'm looking after him, I can't leave him stranded in a strange country.
Pinky: Well he comes from a strange country!
Squit: Brain, for once, Pinky and Wakko are right. Patrice is weird and boring. Do you really think girls will be impressed when we turn up with that?
(Patrice is still pissing.)
Brain: Okay. Probably not.
Squit: Let's just leg it while his back is turned. It's now or never, B.
Brain: OK, fuck it!
(The others run away from Patrice.)
(Squit N/R: So we ran away. Yep, ran away. Something I hadn't done since John Cook discovered wedgies in 8th grade.)
Wakko: Crap! I've got a stitch wedgie. I need to itch!
Squit: That should be enough.
(Patrice was running from behind.)
Pinky: Fuck! He's behind us!
Wakko: No way!
Squit: Run! He's chasing us!
(Patrice is now next to them still running.)
Wakko: Holy fuck, he doesn't give up easily!
Squit: What does he think is happening?!
Pesto: I think he's caught us up.
Brain: (sarcastically) Yeah, good spot, Pesto.
Patrice: Brain, why we run?
Brain: Uhhh...I don't fuckin' know actually!
Patrice: You don't know?
Brain: Yeah.
Patrice: So we stop?
Brain: Yep, probably. Good idea.
(They stopped running.)
Brain: (sigh) Let's just go to the party.
(They are walking down the street to Buster's house.)
(Squit N/R: So after trying and failing to outrun a boy in Cuban heels, we headed for Buster Bunny's party, which we definitely wouldn't get into.)
Pesto: Who's gonna ask if we can come in, Squit?
Squit: I dunno, why are you asking me?!
Pinky: Outta the way you Kwik Shit Shitters, I'll do it myself!
(BUZZER DOOR OPENS)
Bull Gator: What?
Squit: Hello, Bull Gator. I'm Squit.
Bull Gator: Sorry. You can't come in, there's too many already.
Squit: Look, we'll be no trouble, I promise. I mean, look at us.
Bull Gator: Fine. One of you can come in.
Squit: One, five, there's hardly any difference, perhaps we could negotiate...
Bull Gator: No. (points at Patrice) Him. He can come in. (He lets him in)
Squit: Oh, right, well the thing is, Brain will have to come in, too, he's supposed to be looking after…
(Shuts the door.)
Squit: (sarcastically) Great. So we can add Patrice to the growing list of people more popular than us.
Pesto: DAT'S IT! (As he attacks Squit)
Pinky: (looking through the window) Fucking John's in there! And he's with a girl! He's got his hand on her tit!
Wakko: This is too tragic.
Brain: Holy shit.
Pinky: And Charlotte Big Jugs is in there.
Pesto: (as he finishes beating up Squit, leaving him with a black eye and bruises) Nice! (laughs)
Squit: (pushes Pesto away) Oh, c'mon!
Pinky: Time for Plan B.
Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, right, there's a Plan B, is there?! Plan A was so brilliantly devised I wouldn't have thought we'd need a Plan B! What is it?! Climb over a fuckin' fence?!
(The scene cuts to the Buster Bunny's fence near his backyard.)
Squit: I can't believe we're actually doing this!
Pinky: Don't shit yourself. It's only a fence, it won't bite.
Squit: Yes, Pinky, except I'm not worried about it biting, I'm worried about breaking my neck.
Pinky: Come on, it'll be sick, climbing and shit.
Squit: Will it tho? There must be another way.
Pinky: (looks at the backyard) Ah, it's full of puh. Give us a push, Wak.
(They all climb up the fence and jump into the backyard, except for Squit.)
Squit: Guys, c'mon, get a grip! I'm just not made for climbing, y'know? Maybe one of these panels is loose. (he saw a small gap in the fence) There's a gap here! (he gets into the backyard through the gap but struggles.)
Pinky: Jesus, did you even bother to lose weight at all? Just look ya, maybe that's why you're struggling!
Pesto: Come on, Squit. Just hurry up!
Squit: Huh? (He gets dog shit on his sleeve of his white suit) Oh, for Christ's sake!
Wakko: Why's he always gotta be different?
Pinky: Just hurry the fuck up, tubby, everyone's looking!
(Everyone was looking at them as Bull Gator came along.)
Bull Gator: The hell's going on?
Squit: Oh, hi, Bull. (he got out) As I was saying, it's quite important we look after Patrice.
Bull Gator: And you stepped on dog shit?
Squit: Yes, I have. But ask yourself why? That you've excluded us from this party because of some vague rules about popularity is ridiculous. Although it looks like we climbed a fence and crawled through dog shit, what we've done is challenged your social apartheid.
Bull Gator: You weren't invited 'coz you're not on the list.
Squit: That makes sense too, I suppose.
Buster: (he came to the backyard) The hell's going on? (saw Squit, Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko) Guys! Long time so see!
Pinky: Nice to meet ya, bruh!
Buster: Welcome to my party, make yourselves at home! (looks at Bull Gator, angrily) Dude, why didn't you tell me about this?! (leaves)
Bull Gator: I dunno, they weren't on the list! (looks back at the others) God, if you're that desperate then just ask. But take that suit off before you go inside. (leaves)
Squit: Sweet, nice one!
Brain: He's right about the suit tho, it stinks.
Wakko: Oh, bruh, that is rank. It's all up your sleeve, look.
(Squit takes off his suit which it leads to the others laughing at his black vest he was wearing underneath.)
Wakko: Oh, Christ! (laughs)
Pinky: What the fuck is that?! (laughs)
(Pesto laughs hysterically)
Brain: Oh, my God. (holds in the laugher)
Squit: (annoyed) It was a present from my mom, okay!
Brain: And you've worn it?
Pinky: She been getting gift ideas from Pesto's old man?
Pesto: My dad's not bent!
Wakko: Honestly, that's not a good look.
Squit: Well, we've just gatecrashed a party that Big John was invited to, so none of us are winning the cool prize.
Wakko: But you are losing by a mile.
Squit: Hmph. Not for long. I'm gonna find Charlotte.
Pesto: Upstairs getting fucked, most likely.
Squit: Pesto, I've told you she's not like that! (pause) I'll check upstairs first.
(They went inside the house.)
(Squit N/R: The best thing about your birthday is everyone has to do exactly what you want.)
The Final Part: Worst Birthday Ever!
(Squit N/R: With this in mind, I went to find Charlotte.)
Plucky: (mocking Squit) Nice shirt! (laughs)
Max: (mocking Squit) Yeah, good look, briefcase.
Skippy: (mocking Squit) Someone's stolen your sleeves, boy!
Squit: (embarrassed) Yep, nice one.
Little Beeper: (mocking Squit) Where's the rest of N'Sync?
Squit: Retro, but a good one.
(Meanwhile, Pinky and Brain fight about who's using the bathroom first.)
Pinky: C'mon! Let me go first, you know I'm desperate.
Brain: Ha-ha! Unlucky. (shuts the door)
Pinky: Don't be an ass! Seriously, c'mon, bro, I'm bursting!
(Billie came along.)
Billie: Oh, hi, Pinky, are you waiting?
Pinky: Yeah! I might piss my pants any minute now.
Billie: Oh.
Pinky: Won't be too long tho!
Billie: Oh, right. I didn't know you were friends with Buster.
Pinky: Oh, no! We climbed over a fence.
(Billie looking confused)
Brain: (comes out of the bathroom as Pinky went in) Billie, hi.
Billie: Hi, Brain, how are you?
Brain: Good, you?
Billie: Yeah, pretty awesome.
Pinky: (comes out of the bathroom) Jesus Christ, Brain, what the fuck have you done in there?!
Brain: (confused) Uhhh...
Pinky: Have you been eating cat food again?! Oh, God, you've left skid marks down the bowl too! Nasty-ass!
Brain: (embarrassed) Uhhh...Billie, I didn't. I only went in for a piss.
Pinky: Oh, God, I can taste it.
Brain: (angrily) PINKY!
Billie: (disgusted) Okay, I might go upstairs now. (goes upstairs)
Brain: No, don't. I was only peeing. It was only a pee! I promise I didn't leave skid marks! (looks at Pinky, angrily) You fuckin' asshat! Why did you do that?!
Pinky: Your welcome. (Slams the door)
(Squit N/R: OK, so things weren't going exactly to plan. But if I could just find Charlotte, I was confident it would still be a birthday to remember.)
Squit: (he opens the door to see Charlotte in the bedroom) Oh, hi, Charlotte, there you are.
Charlotte: (shocked) Squit!
(Squit N/R: And I was right.)
Squit: (concerned, seeing Charlotte having sex with somebody) Uhhh...the hell's going on?!
Charlotte: Uhhh...please go away!
Squit: Time out, fella! You're not alone now. (he looks under the covers to see who it is, he noticed that it was Patrice) Oh, Patrice Salut.
Patrice: Salut.
Squit: (shocked) Wait. Are you two...?
Charlotte: (slightly annoyed) Seriously, what are you doing?
Squit: I thought we could do it together, y'know.
Charlotte: Squit, I don't know why you're doing this. And what are you wearing?
Squit: I've got a bottle of champagne at home, and I remembered when we first met we had champagne, as it's my birthday I thought maybe...I'm sorry, is he touching you right now?! (saw Patrice touching Charlotte)
Charlotte: Look, maybe we'll have a drink later.
Squit: (slightly upset) Yeah, later, of course. (he was about to leave)
Charlotte: Oh, Squit? Could you turn the light off?
Patrice: No, leave on.
Charlotte: OK. See ya, Squit.
Squit: See ya. (shuts the door)
(Squit N/R: Great. And I'd rather hoped the singlet was the worst birthday surprise. Meanwhile, my friends were making the most of finally gettin' into a cool party, by standing in a corridor, not talking to anyone, doing jack-shit.)
(Squit goes downstairs to see the others.)
Brain: Did you find Charlotte?
Squit: (upset) Um, yeah. Yeah, I did. Upstairs being fucked by Patrice!
Pesto: HA! Knew it.
Wakko: Ooh, unlucky!
Squit: Can you make him stop, please, Brain? As a birthday present?
Brain: Sorry, but no means no. That's just too weird.
Squit: Yeah, you're probably right. Let's just go home.
(Squit bumps into Newt.)
Squit: Oh, hi, Newt, I'm just going but if you were looking for Charlotte, I think she's upstairs.
Newt: (angrily) Fuck off, you prick!
Squit: (nervous) Thanks. Have a fun night!
(They all leave the party and walked down the street at night.)
(Squit N/R: So, ironically, it was Newt who gave me the best gift this year, a savagely beaten French perverted sicko.)
Brain: Holy shit! What if Newt kills him?
Squit: (annoyed) Good!
Brain: His parents will go satan on Newt's ass tho if Patrice is injured!
Pesto: (laughs evilly) Nice!
Pinky: Well, fuck 'em anyway, you'll never see him again, so what!
Brain: I meant to drop him off back at Paris and I...
Squit: (getting angry) I'm sorry, do you wanna go to France?
Brain: What? No!
Squit: Well then shut the fuck up! What about me, huh?! It's my birthday and I saw Patrice trying to mount Charlotte! The fucking baguette-eating dickhead frog!
Brain: Jesus Christ, dude. That's a bit racist.
Squit: Well he made me racist! He was racist back when he said he hates Irish-Americans, I mean c'mon, what did we do to you!?
Wakko: Did you get to see her boobies tho?
Squit: No, Wakko!
Wakko: (in disbelief) Ahhh...y'suck. Why am I not surprised?
Squit: Oh God, what if my birthdays just get worse and worse from now on?! What'll happen next year?!
Pinky: You get AIDS and die at the age of 30?
Squit: I'd have to have sex for that to happen.
Wakko: Or fuck a monkey?
Squit: Technically, that still counts as sex.
Brain: Or drink from the same cup as Pesto's dad.
Pesto: Fuck you, my dad does not have AIDS!
Pinky: Son, your dad is so AIDS, he's the one who gave it to your siblings!
Pesto: (furious) You take that back!
Pinky: That's what your siblings said to 'em. NARF!
Wakko: C'mon, bro, let's get back to yours. I'll let you beat me at Pro Evo.
Squit: Thanks, I just hope this night couldn't get worse than this.
Girl 1: (from the distance) That's them!
Newt: (from the distance, furious) What did ya say to my fuckin' sister, you fuckin scum!?
Girl 2: (from the distance) Fucking pedos!
(Newt and the girls started chasing them.)
Squit: RUN!
Pinky: Again?
Brain: Oh, shit!
(They started running as Newt and the 3 girls are still chasing them.)
Wakko: Split up, he can't get us all!
Pinky: He's got a fucking cricket bat! See ya around, bitches! (hides behind the car)
Brain: (pushing Pesto away) Pesto, go away!
Pesto: (pushes Brain back) Ayy, coo off!
Squit: This is the tin hat. Worst birthday ever!
(Squit N/R: So my birthday, or dog shit (Bull Gator: And you stepped on dog shit?), singlet, heartbreak day, as I've come to think of it, was over. It's fair to say it hadn't been the best. But I had learnt one important life lesson. If you go around to Wakko's, don't play with his Lego. EVER! (Wakko: How much Lego can you stuff up your ass?/Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake!)
THE END!
I hope you enjoyed the 6th episode of The Outsiders. Thx. See ya lata! Peace! ;)
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Shock Horror!
I like psychology and sociology and neuroscience. It’s almost like I don’t shut up about it ;) And, when I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about the love languages I ended up researching it a lot and now I make everyone I know take that stupid quiz. You’d almost think I was a marriage/ relationship counselor or something hahahahahhaha shock horror part 2: I’m not.
Okay so lemme break this down. The five love languages are:
1.) words of affirmation
2.) quality time
3.) receiving gifts
4.) physical touch
5.) acts of service
There are a billion and one quizzes out there to determine your ranking, but essentially it determines which of these is prioritized in your life and relationships. for example, I will psychoanalyze myself for you :)
BUT, before I do that. If they aren’t already self explanatory, let me tell you which each of these mean.
Words of affirmation is a verbal confirmation that someone means something to you. “You look pretty today,” “I appreciate you in my life,” “I love being around you” stuff like that
Quality time means spending time together. You could be eating mac and cheese for fuck’s sake. You might be sleeping on a couch or singing broadway songs in the car or going to a baseball game etc. etc. This mainly means you value memories over tangible things
Receiving gifts is the opposite of the previous. You feel appreciated when someone gives you something you can keep forever
Physical touch...obvious
Acts of service means that someone does something for you like making a bed or washing the dishes or cooking pancakes in the morning etc.
OK so now here’s mine (ranked from most important to least important
1.) Quality time
2.) Words of Affirmation
3.) Acts of Service
4.) Physical Touch
5.) Receiving Gifts
Discussion (from bottom to top): I put gifts at the bottom because I truly could not care less if someone bought me something. I always tell this story, but I had a big party for my 18th birthday and I asked everyone to write letters instead of giving me gifts because I feel like the personalization of a note in someone’s own words means a MILLION times more than..idk a bath and body works perfume (love those though)
Physical touch was 4th because I do love hugs, they mean a lot to me. However, I have been in situations where it just got to be too much. I would find myself flinching away from people or being slightly uncomfortable or batting them away (not in a harassment kind of way) I just think, especially in terms of relationships, you need a balance between proximity. I need to breathe sometimes.
Acts of Service is something I can confidently say means a lot to me. I find that these are some of my favorite ways to do random acts of kindness for other people. When my mom has a long day I’ll empty the dishwasher for her or something small like that. In the same way, it means the world to be when people offer to take care of me (that sounds bad, but you know what I mean). Again, I have been in situations where I felt like a mom. Giving giving giving. Cleaning up after everyone and offering to drive to see people and offering to take care of this and that. So, when the actions are reciprocated I often don’t know what to do with myself. I really beam at that kind of compassion and it’s something that I associate with people in my head.
Words of Affirmation should be pretty obvious if you know me at all. I’m frequently sending letters or messages about how much I appreciate people in my life. I think everyone, including myself, needs those constant reminders that we mean something to someone. I’m sure most of you know what it feels like to be worthless and hated and disgusting and alone. It’s crazy because we will often think of ourselves that way, but project our love onto everyone else. For that reason, as I work every day to love myself more and more I know that in the meantime I’m surrounded by people that verbally remind me that I’m worth the same kind of affection.
Quality time will always be my #1. I’m tired of texting. There is nothing nothing nothing like being with someone you care about. I don’t even mean romantically. All I ever want to do is feel like I’ve made a connection with someone and that’s so hard to do over text. That’s why quarantine can be especially rough for people that value quality time so much. I’m the type where we could truthfully be sitting together staring at a white wall and I’d be having the time of my life just because you were there with me haha :) The type of friendships where you don’t have to be doing anything worthy of instagram, there’s nothing to “show off” you’re just existing together: that’s really freaking beautiful what can I say. And to be technical, you can’t do any of the other things mentioned above if you aren’t physically with someone. Vibes are a real thing people (lmao). Honestly, sometimes mine are ridiculously off, but there’s something about spending time with a person that really makes me feel like I know them, even if we haven’t known each other that long. That is why I’m a critic of time preference when it comes to friendships. I absolutely have known some people longer than others that I’m less connected to than those I’ve known forever. That’s literally why it’s called quality time not,,,length of time?? (I’m trying)
After reading this, let me know which of these matter to you. It’s important to know within friends or partners or whatever, that way you don’t accidentally offend people. It’s a cute little way of being compassionate.
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