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#not true for all our alters but like
dunces-hat · 7 months
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ppl are always like “don’t you want to look at old photos and listen to your old favorite songs? Don’t you wanna look back on the past?” NOPE. that stuff is none of my business
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diseased-cadaver · 2 years
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Any other early 20-something DID systems with no host (maybe even incapable of having a host), high amnesia, high fluidity and a mind that is more attached to non-fiction than fiction? Talk to me, I'm like that too.
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ironmanstan · 1 year
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#sometimes i wonder if i should just go by maryam professionally#i feel like this would extremely lower my chances of getting outed on accident lmao.#all my branding is centered on my renegaedz username anyway like if i switched over itd alter pretty much nothing.#my dad simultaneously being so neglectful but such a fucking busybody and all my transphobic irls literal only reason id need to do this.#in theory i would not have to have literal separate art identities to keep up the facade but then i would have to play a balancing game#but then this means letting everyone i know irl into my little zone lmaooo i hate everyone .#i hate so many of my irls lol you all make me so fucking mad and make me hate being trans so fucking much sometimes.#why do i have to compromise on who i am just so i can fucking exist#'what if i compromise on how i present myself so i dont need to worry about being open about my art ventures'#all this so i can be open to people who i went through hell for over a decade to#connect to who rejected me already just because im autistic . everyday im violent.#people who would want me to fucking die and spit on my existence forever if they knew i didnt hate gay people#let alone that im fucking trans haha ? hahaha yeah so true i should suck up forever and vie for the attention of people#who hate me already and keep me around to be nice#i hate everyone so fucking much sometimes honestly. you all act like youre on some moral warfront fighting against westerners pushing queer#as if historically queerness was pushed out of muslim communities and south asia because of FUCKING COLONIZATION#i fkjhckjhk يا الله the people on this earth are in their stupidity arc#i hate u all i hate u all . acting like we must fight to protect our communities but then turn a blind eye to how u hurt ur communities.#there aint no fucking queer epidemic and even if it WAS haram you know what is worse? fucking LYING. go worry about THAT#vent#sorry i am so insane rn i have suddenly gotten so mad for no reason lmao
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timeisacephalopod · 2 months
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Lmao so apparently my idiot sibling who I will not be able to cut off as thoroughly as I'd like thanks to my mom being too nice and loving her stupid waste of life ass said, in response to me pointing out how insanely sexist she is, no. I'm the sexist one and that's hilarious for a billion reasons, but mostly because ain't no sexist going to spend four years getting an I Hate Sexism Degree. No, obviously having a gender studies degree does not mean a person isn't sexist automatically (the rancid politics of anti porn and anti sex work feminism of the 70's showed how awful feminists can be to women, let alone the long history of racism and anti queerness), but I do think having a gender studies degree probably means you're less likely to be sexist.
But sure, person who doesn't listen or respect SHIT unless it's got a penis attached, I'M the sexist one. Dumb fuck probably doesn't even know what sexism is.
#winters ramblings#my mom told me that amd i jad a good laugh and was like WHAT lmao is she actually THAT fucking stupid?#of course the answer is yes but of all my flaws- of which there are many- sexism doesnt and in fact has NEVER hit the list#because ive been a VICTIM of sexism my whole assed life im not going to buy into it and assume that if no penis is involved#the person is a lying rancid harpy looking to destroy me at all costs like my idiot sibling. ANYTHING a man says is GOSPEL#but anything a woman says needs to be under such a heavy cloud of suspicion she wont ever believe you no matter HOW true#whatever you said was. but if i were a MAN oh id get WORSHIPED at the alter#fuckin im sexist ok ask men who have run into me if THEY think that because it takes 2 seconds fora sexist to make themselves#known and it takes just as short of a time for me to react in a way that suggests i dont agree#and i have NEVER nor WOULD i ever worship a man like hes more impressive than the idea of GOD#in fact in general i go out of my way to ensure men in my life are WELL aware of where i think ALL our places are#and generally thats an equal footing. but yeah im not shocked the dumb fuck who will do ANYTHING for men who BEAT her kids#calls ME sexist for pointing out shes never ONCE treated a woman with a SPECK of respect and in fact thinks her CHILDREN#acting like dicks is THE SAME as GROWN MEN being abusive tyrants because to her girls and grown men are THE SAME#except that grown men get to do whatever while girls are expected to be perfect Or Else because they dont have the Penis of Freedom#but sure im sexist for pointing out treating CHILDREN like they should have more accountability and responsibility than#GROWN MEN is disgusting and CLEARLY bigoted. silly me children SHOULD be held to a higher standard of behavior than grown men!
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creature-wizard · 9 months
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Check your conspiracy theory. Does it sound anything like this?
There is an ancient global conspiracy plotting to create a one world government.
The one world government will be headed by a single leader.
The conspiracy intends to make everyone follow a religion it created.
The conspiracy is trying to destroy all true religion/spirituality.
The conspiracy deliberately stirs up conflict and starts wars.
The conspiracy deliberately does whatever it can to confuse, exhaust, and demoralize the people.
The conspiracy creates and/or manipulates art and entertainment to control and brainwash the masses.
The conspiracy uses mind-altering substances to manipulate and control people.
Liberal politics (EG, religious tolerance, equality) are part of the conspiracy.
Communism and collectivism are part of the conspiracy.
The conspiracy manipulates the economy to our detriment.
The conspiracy wants to do away with the gold standard.
The conspiracy wants to do away with the free market.
The conspiracy intends to tax the rich, which is bad because taxes are just legal theft.
Teaching people about the mistakes and atrocities committed by governments is part of the conspiracy.
The conspiracy creates new religions and spiritual movements to further their agendas.
All secret societies (EG, Freemasonry) are part of the conspiracy.
Presidents are manipulated puppets of the conspiracy.
The conspiracy manipulates anyone with a high political position.
The conspiracy grooms world leaders.
Agents of the conspiracy are planted everywhere, in all levels of society.
The conspiracy kills anyone who might expose their plans in ways that no one would suspect are actually murder.
The conspiracy follows/uses the Kabbalah.
Literally all of these were claimed in The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion, an antisemitic hoax used by the Okhrana to justify violence against Russian Jews. It was used by Nazi Germany to justify the Holocaust, and today it still serves as the blueprint for most conspiracy theories - even if modern conspiracy theorists try to hide it, downplay it, or rationalize it with another, equally absurd conspiracy theory.
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melzula · 2 months
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zuko confiding in sokka to be his wingman to try to get together with you?
a/n: sokka sharing his back bending skills with zuko we love to see it. also this takes place post-war
summary: Zuko isn’t sure how to tell you he likes you, so he looks to Sokka for guidance
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Zuko watches longingly from across the room as you dance with Katara and enjoy the night’s festivities. Your eyes sparkle with joy and your smile is so infectious it has everyone around you beaming. Everyone seems to want your attention, and so he hadn’t been able to speak to you much since the party began, but he desperately wants to be near you.
“You know you look like a total creep when you stand in the corner and stare, right?” Sokka notes, interrupting Zuko’s sulking.
“I’m not staring!” The Fire Lord says defensively, but he knows he’s not fooling anyone.
“Come on, buddy, it’s a party! Lighten up! Go mingle!”
“I don’t want to mingle,” Zuko grumbles indignantly, “I just want to talk to y/n.”
“Then go talk to her!” Sokka encourages as if it’s the most easiest thing in the world. “It’s not like you haven’t talked to her before. She’s our friend!”
“I know that,” the boy bites irritably. Deflating, he sighs, “But it’s different this time.”
“What do you mean?” Sokka says, his demeanor morphing into that of a more serious tone.
“I… I think I have feelings for her.”
“You what?!” Sokka exclaims, earning a few puzzled stares from nearby partygoers. Zuko sends his friend a harsh look and urges him to be quiet.
“I know, I know. What am I thinking? She’s perfect, she’d never go for someone like me,” he admits in quiet defeat. “It’s stupid of me to feel this way.”
“What? No way, that’s not true,” his friend insists encouragingly. “You’re a great guy! You just need to work on your romance game.”
“My what?” Zuko retorts skeptically.
“Your romance game! Look, if you want y/n to like you then you have to work your charm.”
“I don’t have any charm to work.”
“Sure you do, it’s easy! Take it from your old buddy Sokka, the ladies love me. Just follow my advice and by the end of the night y/n will be dying for you to ask her out!”
Zuko is skeptical of his friend’s words and hesitant to take Sokka’s offer of help, but he knows he’s hopeless on his own and there aren’t many other options. With a relenting sigh, Zuko gives his friend an agreeing nod.
“What should I do first?”
“Just follow my lead,” the boy says with a wink before loudly calling you and his sister over. Zuko does his best to mask his embarrassment and puts on his best attempt of a smile as you and Katara saunter over arm-in-arm.
“Hi, guys!” You greet cheerily. “King Kue really knows how to throw a party, doesn’t he?”
“He sure does! Say, that’s a really nice dress,” Sokka compliments before harshly elbowing Zuko’s side. “Don’t you agree, Zuko?”
“Uh, yes, it is,” he stammers nervously, his face immediately turning red. “You look very beautiful.”
“Thank you,” you reply with a bashful smile. “You don’t think it’s too much?”
“Not at all,” he says earnestly. “You could never be too much.”
“You know, y/n, Zuko here was just telling me how much he wants to dance,” your friend informs you much to the Fire Lord’s dismay.
“What?! That’s not-“
“Oh, well, would you like to dance with me, Zuko?” You ask with a careful smile, delicately holding your hand out for him to take. His protests immediately die in his throat as he takes in your gentle features, the world almost seeming to come to a halt as he focuses on you before him. Your beauty almost physically pains him, and he wished he knew how to tell you this without coming off like a total creep.
Zuko hesitates before taking your hand, knowing that whatever happens next could alter your friendship forever, but the idea of physical touch is almost too tempting, and so he gently grabs hold of your hand and guides you back to the dance floor.
The musicians play a melody of traditional Earth Kingdom waltzes, and despite knowing nothing about dancing Zuko does his best to match your pace. His hands are suffocatingly warm against your skin, but you never once complain. You say nothing when he steps on your toes repeatedly or gets caught on your dress, and in spite of how awkward you both look compared to the other couples on the floor you seem to be having the most fun out of them all.
“You’re doing wonderful,” you encourage, giggling when he missteps and nearly trips over his own feet.
“I’m awful at this,” he argues exasperatedly. “I’m sorry you got stuck with such a lousy dance partner.”
“I don’t care about how good you can dance. I’m just happy you’re dancing with me,” you admit, looking away bashfully to hide your smile. “I haven’t really been able to speak to you much tonight, so I appreciate being with you now.”
Over your shoulder, Zuko spots Sokka from across the way. The water tribe boy waves his arms frantically and gestures for Zuko to make his move. The Fire Lord simply scowls before swallowing down his nerves and looking back to you.
“Y/n,” he calls faintly, gently guiding your face to look back up at him. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you all night, but it’s been hard. You’re so full of life, you draw people in with just your smile, and so I didn’t think I’d get the chance to finally be alone with you and tell you that- well, that I have feelings for you. I want to be the one that makes you smile, the one that dances with you at every party.”
“Zuko,” you murmur softly, taken aback by his confession. He takes your surprise as rejection and looks down with a dejected smile.
“I know, we’re friends. It’s strange of me to think we could be more, but I just needed to tell you.”
“No, that’s not it,” you quickly correct him, “I-I’m just surprised because I didn’t think you felt the same way I did.”
"You mean… you like me back?” Zuko asks in disbelief.
“Of course I do! What’s not to like?” You tease with a smile. “All night I was hoping you’d come up to me, and even though Katara said I should be the one to make the first move I was too scared to try. I’m glad you told me because I feel the same.”
You feel as if your heart could burst when he carefully tilts your chin up to meet your lips in a kiss. Ever since he joined your group you’d wanted nothing more than for him to see you as you saw him, and after months of what you thought was one-sided pining it seems Zuko has felt the same way about you all along. It took some time for things to come out in the open, but now that they are you couldn’t be any happier.
And unbeknownst to either of you, Katara and Sokka share high-fives behind your back in celebration of their successful plan.
| zuko tags: @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @taeeemin @livelaughlovekuni @lovialy
| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303
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leclerc-hs · 4 months
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ever heard of casual? - cl16
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pairing: charles leclerc x nanny!reader (fem) summary: in which true feelings are kind of shown between charles and his daughter's nanny warnings: basically smut with some plot (LOL), bad french(please correct me), not proofread, 18+!!!! word count: 1,795 author's note: i really enjoyed doing the instagram au the other day so i wanted to include some of that into part 2!!! face claim is Hailey Bieber (you can picture nanny!reader however you want I just love Hailey so I'm sorry if you don't LOL). Also not kidding like single dad Charles got me in a HEADLOCK. also this is my Christmas gift to y’all 🤍 feel free to message me your thoughts!!! I love feedback and hearing from you all
part 2 to THIS (nanny series)
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourbsf, lorenzotl, and 56,318 others yourusername a day well spent view all 2,376 comments leclerc_pascale tu es tellement adorable! bring her over now! yourusername on our way! user omg pascale commenting user I'm crying user i wish i could have her life charles_leclerc ❤️ user omg a heart?!!!??? user chill its prob for his daughter user a bit unprofessional if they date anyways yourbsf can't wait to see you tmrw! liked by yourusername
yourusername
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liked by yourexbf, yourbsf, charles_leclerc, and 62,122 others yourusername got milk? view all 3,765 comments user i'm fucking screaming user she is so fucking hot. idk how charles handles it user she's not that pretty relax user does she ever even work? how is she able to be doing this user her life is a vacation yourbsf I'm DROOOOLING yourexbf 🥛🍼🐮 user isn't this her ex boyfriend? user are they back together? user did you see her friends stories? they looked cozy 👀 user i hope so. that means she wouldn't be with Charles user she is the nanny of his daughter! leave her alone!! charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, lorenzotl, and 1,465,718 others charles_leclerc a tough few races but we gave it all we got. excited to be back home to see my girls! @vistajet view all 4,186 comments user girlS?!?? plural!!!!!! leclerc_pascale time for a haircut user LMAO user wtf girls? does he mean @/yourusername?? yourusername she's requesting you to play the piano asap!! liked by charles_leclerc and 5,392 others charles_leclerc looks like i'll have to teach you for when I'm away user OMGGGG user not him wanting to teach her piano!!!
yourbsf posted a story!
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seen by arthur_leclerc, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, and 12,471 others tagged yourusername, yourexbf
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourexbf, landonorris, and 66,817 others yourusername about last night..... view all 1,329 comments landonorris date me please? charles_leclerc get out of her comments user LANDO SIMPING PUBLICLY user she def has most of the grid in a chokehold user CHARLES LMAO user but where is charles daughter? yourexbf such a fun night liked by charles_leclerc user they gotta be fucking or something user charles liking this. hELPPP leclerc_pascale a night deserved!
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
THE ENSUING WEEKS unfolded in a hazy cascade, a whirlwind of experiences that blurred the boundaries of time. The dynamics with Charles remained poised, neither veering into awkwardness nor undergoing discernible alterations – an equilibrium that suited you perfectly. After all, you hadn’t harbored expectations of a budding relationship; rather, this interlude seemed more akin to an itch that required gentle satisfaction.
Well, it wasn’t altered, aside from the handful of orgasms he gave you before his departure for races. It felt as though the barrier between you both had fissured and ruptured beyond control, an unstoppable force. But you told yourself to keep it casual.
With Charles traveling the past few weeks for a triple header, the atmosphere between the two of you has gracefully sidestepped any foray into weighty matters. Interactions have been modest, primarily of facetimes with his daughter, and lighthearted banter via text messages. Aside from the one late night desperate and needy facetime call you had last week.
Yesterday marked a noteworthy occasion as, for the initial time in the span of weeks, you relished an entire day and evening in the company of all your friends. Pascale, in all her wisdom, insisted you merited a respite from the role of caregiver and assured that she will handle the little one for you.
A day immersed in sun and sea with close friends proved to be a much-needed respite from the past few weeks. This was complemented by an evening at the club, where pulsating beats, lively dance floors, and contagious laughter wove together, leaving behind a lasting sense of euphoria.
So, when you arrive to Charles’ apartment ready for a fun and relaxing day with him and his daughter for the first time since he left, you’re surprised to find Charles swinging the door open before you could even reach for the handle. You’re also surprised to find out that his daughter isn’t even here, and that she is still at Pascale’s.
“O�� étais-tu?” Where have you been? His question was quick and short as he pulled you into the apartment, shutting the door behind you. You barely made two steps before his hand was gripping your hand, pulling you down the hall to his bedroom.
“Que veux-tu dire?” What do you mean? You were confused but didn’t refuse his touch as he pushed you to sit on the edge of his bed. “Content de te voir aussi.” Nice to see you too. Recognizing a hint of sarcasm in your tone, you conclude that adopting a bratty attitude probably wasn’t the wisest choice, especially given his apparent sour mood. 
He began restlessly pacing within the room, the muscles of his arms visible as he crossed his arms tightly over his chest in a display of frustration.
“Où est ma fille?” Where is my daughter? He was fully aware of his provocative tone. He possessed the knowledge of his daughter’s whereabouts, yet he seemed intent on provoking confrontation, eager to witness any response that might momentarily suppress the burgeoning jealousy within his chest. 
You found his accusatory tone unsettling, especially given the fact that you would never put his daughter in harm’s way. “Pascale’s. You know this.” You fought the urge to roll your eyes at him as he stood directly in front of you, a sinister gleam in his eyes as he finally made eye contact with you.
“How s’est pasée ta soirée?” How was your night? He knelt between your legs, eyes meeting yours at the same level, jaw tightly clenched. His two hands rested on each leg, fingers pressing into the skin of your thighs.
It wasn’t until then that it clicked. His behavior, all because of your night out. He knew of your ex-boyfriend from social media, but you never fully had a talk regarding him. Because why would you? This was all still very new. 
Navigating the relationship of you and your ex-boyfriend proved to be intricate, primarily owing to the longstanding history you shared since diapers. Originating as childhood best friends, a mutual decision was made to preserve the amicable bond even after the breakup. Given your shared history and overlapping friend group, the decision to maintain a friendship, sparing both parties the discomfort of awkwardness.
His hands slowly traced up the inside of your thighs, his fingers instantly contacting your lace covered center, thanks to the short, pleated skirt that adorned your body.
“Tu as passé un bon moment, hm?” Did you have a nice time? His tone was mocking. You felt yourself at a loss of words as his fingers slipped past your underwear, his thumb pressing circles directly to your clit.
You nodded slowly, delusional from how good his fingers felt on you. His other hand reached for the band of your underwear, pulling them off until they piled at your feet. His thumb, not easing up on your heated center. You let out a soft moan, leaning back on your two hands, as he pushed two fingers into you. His eyes, purely focused on watching his fingers slide in and out of you, wet and slick. 
“Rien à dire?” Nothing to say? His fingers sped up, your stomach clenching as you arched your back in complete pleasure. 
“I’m gon—fuck,” You couldn’t get complete words out. Every time you went to talk, his fingers assault on you would increase, leaving you nothing but a moaning mess on the edge of his bed.
He pulled his fingers completely out of you, letting you scream in frustration as he edged you. 
“Did you fuck him?” His words cut sharply, and the green of his eyes almost appeared black with intensity. Despite the anger he conveyed, a discernible undercurrent of vulnerability permeated his questions. It made your heart clench.
“No,” you were quick to answer. “Je ne ferais pas ça!” I wouldn’t do that!
His eyebrows furrowed as he slid his fingers back into you with urgency. “You sure?”
“Yes!” His fingers were quickly back on you, the need that bubbled deep in your stomach ready to tip over.  
It wasn’t until he shoved his head between your legs, his tongue replacing his thumb, and pressing it flat to your clit, that you were careening forward with a cry.
The assault of his tongue didn’t let up until you were pulling him by the hair on the back of his head, his mouth leaving your clit with a ‘pop’ noise. His lips were glistening as he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking on them. 
“Tellement bien,” So good. He moaned with his eyes shut as he sucked you off his fingers, your eyes purely focused on his mouth and the hollows of his cheeks. 
Before you could even relax, he was scooping you up and flipping you over onto your stomach, and bunching your skirt high up on your waist. A harsh smack of your butt echoed off the walls of the bedroom.
“I should fuck the salope out of you,” his voice was deep with need as you heard the unzip of his jeans from behind you. His hands pressed your face into the mattress, nearly suffocating you, as he nudges his cock through your folds. But you didn’t care, the pleasure was too good.
He slid into you easily, your saturated walls slick from your previous orgasm. The burning stretch of his cock had you cry out a muffled yelp into the mattress. “Gonna take all of me, hm?”
You agree feverently, nodding your head repeatedly with a moan. “These weeks were too long huh?” He droned on, talking you through it. “Even our facetime the other night wasn’t enough?”
Thoughts of your facetime the other night surface back quickly as his hips pound into you. How you both were so needy. How he was able to make you come on your fingers just by the sound of his voice. How he commanded your body even from thousands of miles away. Yes, that’s it. Cum all over your fingers like the good girl you are.
He felt your walls clench down on him so tightly, he groaned. “The thought of fingering yourself gets you that hot and bothered?” Another harsh slap to your butt.
You begin to cry out almost pathetically, your fingers gripping onto the sheets tightly. You turn your head, Charles hands sliding from the back of your hair to your neck, still weighing you down.
“S’il te plait,” Please. You’re begging. 
“Wish I could bring you – Mon dieu – wish I could bring you with me wherever I go,” his heavy breaths were heard in between each word, as if he was struggling to keep any self-control he had left.
“But I can’t,” his voice sounds angry again. “Wouldn’t be able to leave you, can’t look at you without wanting to fuck you stupid,” He won’t shut up. Like he opened a door and can’t close it shut now. “Tu me rends fou,” Drive me crazy.
Your heart is clenching at his words. His words creating a mass of butterflies in your stomach. You can tell by the shutter of his last words that he’s close.
“Allons-y, ma cherie,” Let’s go. “That’s it,” he groans loudly as you clench around him, releasing all over him. He’s quick to pull out, releasing himself all over your backside, smearing it with the tip of his cock into you. 
He rolled over to the side of you, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took. The silence of the apartment was loud but comfortable as you both caught your breath.
“I don’t think I can do casual with you but I’ll try,” he mutters softly, one of his hands brushing your hair out of your face so you can truly look at him. His cheeks were rosy, the crinkles in his eyes from smiling apparent, and his hair so disheveled it made you clench your thighs together.
You roll onto your side, your hand gracing his cheek as you turn his head to look at you. “Me either,” you admit. Because truly, he was all that was ever on your mind. You didn’t want to have one foot in the door, one foot out. You wanted to be all in with him.
“Let’s just see where this goes, yeah?” He smiles, pulling you up onto his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around as your head dug into the crook of his neck. You placed gentle kisses to his neck, his Adam’s apple bobbing noticeably. 
You feel his length harden from underneath you again. To which, you lift your head to see him with a smirk fully spread on his lips. You furrow your eyebrows as if to say ‘really?’.
To which he responds, “Je t’ai dit.” I told you. “Tu me rends fou.” You drive me crazy.
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norrizzandpia · 8 months
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can we get pt 2 of 34+35 where yn releases nonsense or positions, everyone is more confused because are we talking about the same guy?? in response all yn does is mention his thighs 💀💀
YES MAAM OFC I LOVE THIS STORYLINE
WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI? (OP81)
Summary: Oscar and Y/n always loved to mess with the fans. Fortunately, the best way to do that is spill their sex life.
Warnings: sexual conversations, language
Note: THE THIGHS 😫😫😫😫😫 SO MANY WORDS NOT ENOUGH TIME 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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ynnn Nonsense out now! 💋
Comments:
osc81fan I- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
piaosc ARE WE SURE ALL OF US ARE TALKING ABT THE CORRECT MAN?
- mclarenpiaandlan YEAH WTF HOW IS THIS OSCAR
mclarensgirlll SHE DID THIS LAST TIME AND WE NEVER RECOVERED
- landonorris ILL NEVER RECOVER.
oscarpiastri ITS ABOUT MEEEEEEEE 🤭🤭
- danielricciardo we are aware.
- maxverstappen i think youve said that enough
- charlesleclerc YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE LITTLE OSCAR 😰😰😰
- ynnn definitely not LITTLE oscar 😏
- alexalbon STOP.
——
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ynnn maybe i lied? Lookin’ at him doesn’t have me thinkin’ nonsense, it has me thinkin…
Comments:
oscarpiastri my girlfriend everyone 😀
- mclarensgirlll hes probably giggling at his phone at this very moment
- landonorris and youd be right!
maxverstappen IM SO SCARED FOR MY LIFE
- danielricciardo WE CANT ESCAPE IT
- alexalbon HE PLAYS THE SONGS EVERYWHERE
- landonorris IT NEVER ENDS.
ln4andop81 anyone else curious abt what shes going to say on that podcast next week where theyre infamous for asking abt sex????
- oscpastry i bet you oscar will forever be changed for us
- mclarensgirlll he already is 🥲
——
TWITTER
ln4andop81 IN HONOR OF 24 HOURS BEFORE Y/NS PODCAST EPISODE, DROP THE MOST SHOCKING LYRICS FROM NONSENSE DOWN BELOW
- oscpastry “you said you like my eyes and you like the make em roll” SOOOO BASICALLY WHEN WERE THOSE WORDS FALLING FROM OUR BABY’S LIPS????
- mclarenpiaandlan REAL BECAUSE HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS 😭😭
- mclarensgirlll I THINK THE LYRIC “opposite of soft” LET US KNOW HE IS WAYYYY MORE EXPERIENCED THAN WE THOUGHT
- piaosc DOM OSCAR????? FUCKING HOW. IN. WHAT. WORLD.
- ynnn this world! 💋
- piaosc IS THIS SOME SORT OF GAME???
- mclarenpiaandlan THE PATTERN IS PATTERNING
- mclarensgirlll ITS SO ICONIC MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE IT
——
TWITTER
ln4andop81 hows everyone doing after that podcast….
- mclarensgirlll “WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI?” trending on twitter makes me feel less alone after listening to Y/n’s tell all
- mclarenpiaandlan host: “whats your favorite body part of oscar’s?” Y/n: “his thighs” BY THEN I ALREADY KNEW WHAT WAS COMING BUT THE HOST HAD TO KEEP GOING host: *giggling* “why?” Y/n: “10 out of 10 for riding” I THINK MY BRAIN WENT DEAD FOR A SEC
- piaosc GIRLY KEPT GOING TOO host: “did you ask or, like, how did that come about?” Y/n: “well, he was just kind of sitting there, manspread ya know, and he caught on the minute he saw the way i was looking at him. Ive never see him so excited before.” *laughing* “i think he enjoys it more than me!”
- ln4andop81 no words. Host: “so he knows you like his thighs?” Y/n: “Oh my god, yeah! I hate him for it but he purposefully wears his shortest pair of shorts around the house so when he sits, that’s all I see. I’m telling you, Oscar knows how much I love his body and he knows EXACTLY how to use it.” Host: “what do you mean?” Y/n: “just that the shirtless photo i posted of him is one of many and the rest of them could not be up on the internet for longer than 5 seconds before being taken down because they’re borderline all pornographic” OSCAR???? BABY BOY??? WHO ARE YOU.
- mclarensgirlll BRO AND THEN host: “your new song, Nonsense, mentions things being more rough than soft. Is that really true with him?” Y/n: “Are you kidding?! The fans who think he’s super innocent and pure are in for some serious whiplash when i say that he is anything but that. He’s not Oscar when we’re in bed. He’s some alter ego who has no problem fucking against a random wall.” UHHHHHHHHHHH RUE WHEN WAS THIS????
- oscarpiastri now THAT is one thing i wont be answering 😊
- ynnn knowing myself ill probably reveal it in some song in the future 🤦🏼‍♀️
- mclaren maybe try and hold off on that one plz bestie 😙
- landonorris ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^🙏🏻
- danielricciardo ^^
- alexalbon ^^^
- maxverstappen ^
- charlesleclerc ^^^^
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stqrgirlie0 · 1 month
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⋆✮theodore nott✮⋆
part 2 / part 3 / part 4
theo’s had a hard childhood, his mother sadly died and all he has left his father. his fucked up father. there’s no wonder as to why theo took up smoking, but this doesn’t change the fact that he’s completely addicted. every inhale and exhale takes him further away from the walls of the castle, just what he wants. just what he needs. despite his mother leaving him from a young age, theo continues his and his mother’s shared passion for learning, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s at the top of his classes but he’s doing pretty good if he says so himself. theo was also taught how to play the piano but avoids doing so because he thinks it reminds him of his mother too much. but if you wake up in the middle of the night, you might faintly hear a sweet sweet melody being played from the common room.. all the neglect from his father’s end corrupted his innocence growing up, and as a child Theo often spent his time in solitude. however he didn’t let this affect his relationships in his teenhood, and still chose to foster relationships- but only as far as friendships. Theo has never been in a relationship and the ‘sleeping around’ thing his friends so often did, didn’t seem so appealing to him. that is, until he saw you. he was sure you were new but when you first talked and told him you’ve been here since first year, let’s just say it wasn’t one of his proudest moments. from that moment he knew exactly what he was going to do. it took a while, his grovelling weirded you out at first- did he like you? was he trying to do this as a joke? eventually you’d realised it was in fact not a joke, and theodre nott actually did like you, yes. however did you know what to do in response? absolutely not, so of course you turn to everyone’s go-to flirting method: feigned dislike. it worked wonders while also creating a tense but playful rivalry between you and theo. did this confuse theo at first? slightly, yes. but was he also turned on by it? absofuckinglutely. in case it isn’t obvious, things did eventually get heated… everything about you had him going crazy- your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your comebacks, your scent, your hands, YOUR HANDS. gosh he goes absolutely feral over your hands (mainly because he imagines he’ll be putting a ring on it one day, but asides from that..) the way that they fit so perfectly into his alters his brain chemistry or something because trust me this man will be holding onto it and fidgeting around with it EVERY. SECOND. OF. THE. DAY. while everyone thinks he’s a complicated character, he’s actually not. there’s a limited amount of ways to get to his heart- food, hugs and hickeys. food: you know it, every theo enthusiast has heard this about a million times, all the more reason to believe it to be true!! he will literally eat his whole weight and won’t think anything of it, and will STILL be skinny af. hugs: this man needs his hugs just to relax and have a lil breather. a back hug, a side hug, a bear hug, straddle hug, you name it he will hold onto you like a koala! hickeys: alright, enough of our soft teddy, Mr Nott knows his way around your neck, shoulders, chest, EVERYWHWRE. there’s nothing sweet about this, he wants everyone to know who makes you a hot moaning mess every night.
#hmm should I do a part two??🤔🤔#y’all know I’ll do anything for my theo bby
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By: Beth Bourne
Published: Feb 27, 2024
Kaiser gender specialists were eager to approve hormones and surgeries, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.”
On September 6, 2022, I received mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminding me of a routine cervical screening. The language of the reminder stood out to me: “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” When I asked my Ob-Gyn about this strange wording, she told me the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of their “transgender” and “gender fluid” patients.
Based on this response, several thoughts occurred to me. Could I expose the medical scandal of “gender-affirming care” by saying and doing everything my daughter and other trans-identifying kids are taught to do? Would there be the type of medical safeguarding and differential diagnosis we would expect in other fields of medicine, or would I simply be allowed to self-diagnose and be offered the tools (i.e. hormones and surgeries) to choose my own gender adventure and become my true authentic self?
If I could demonstrate that anyone suffering from delusions of their sex, self-hatred, or identity issues could qualify for and easily obtain body-altering hormones and surgeries, all covered by insurance as “medically necessary” and potentially “life-saving” care, then maybe people would finally wake up. I certainly had.
I was prepared for failure. I wasn’t prepared for how easy success would be.
* * *
I am a 53-year-old mom from Davis, CA. My daughter began identifying as a transgender boy (social transition) and using he/him pronouns at school during 8th grade. Like several of her peers who also identified as trans at her school, my daughter was a gifted student and intellectually mature but socially immature. This shift coincided with her school’s sudden commitment to, and celebration of, a now widespread set of radical beliefs about the biology of sex and gender identity.
She “came out” as trans to her father (my ex-husband) and me through a standard coming-out letter, expressing her wish to start puberty blockers. She said she knew they were safe, citing information she had read from Planned Parenthood and the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH). To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was also confused because this announcement was sudden and unexpected. While others quickly accepted and affirmed my daughter’s new identity, I was apprehensive and felt the need to learn more about what was going on.
Events began escalating quickly.
During a routine doctor’s visit scheduled for dizziness my daughter said that she was experiencing, the Kaiser pediatrician overheard her father using “he/him” pronouns for our daughter. The pediatrician seemed thrilled, quickly asking my daughter about her “preferred pronouns” and updating her medical records to denote that my daughter was now, in fact, my son. The pediatrician then recommended we consult the Kaiser Permanente Oakland Proud pediatric gender clinic, where she could get further information and (gender affirming) “treatment.” Now I was the one feeling dizzy.
As I began educating myself on this issue, I discovered that this phenomenon—minors, most often teen girls, suddenly adopting trans identities—was becoming increasingly widespread. It even had a name: rapid onset gender dysphoria, or ROGD. Thankfully, after learning about the potential side-effects of blockers and hormones, my ex-husband and I managed to agree not to consent to any medical interventions for our daughter until she turned 18 and would then be able to make such decisions as an adult.
Over the past five years, my daughter’s identity has slowly evolved in ways that I see as positive. Our bond, however, has become strained, particularly since I began publicly voicing my concerns about what many term as “gender ideology.” Following my daughter’s 17th birthday family celebration, she sent me an email that evening stating she would be cutting off contact with me.
While this estrangement brought me sorrow, with my daughter living full-time with her father, it also gave me the space to be an advocate/activist in pushing back on gender identity ideology in the schools and the medical industry.
I decided to go undercover as a nonbinary patient to show my daughter what danger she might be putting herself in—by people who purport to have her health as their interest, but whose main interest is in medically “affirming” (i.e., transitioning) whoever walks through their door. I am at heart a mother protecting her child.
* * *
My daughter’s sudden decision to become a boy was heavily on my mind in early September of 2022, when mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminded me of a routine cervical screening with “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” I was told that the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of transgender and “gender fluid” patients.
Throughout the whole 231-day process of my feigned gender transition, the Kaiser gender specialists were eager to serve me and give me what I wanted, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.” My emails were returned quickly, my appointments scheduled efficiently, and I never fell through the cracks. I was helped along every step of the way.
Despite gender activists and clinicians constantly claiming that obtaining hormones and surgeries is a long and complex process with plenty of safety checks in place, I was in full control at every checkpoint. I was able to self-diagnose, determine how strong a dose of testosterone I received and which surgeries I wanted to pursue, no matter how extreme and no matter how many glaring red flags I purposefully dropped. The medical workers I met repeatedly reminded me that they were not there to act as “gatekeepers.”
I was able to instantly change my medical records to reflect my new gender identity and pronouns. Despite never being diagnosed with gender dysphoria, I was able to obtain a prescription for testosterone and approval for a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy from my doctor. It took only three more months (90 days) to be approved for surgery to remove my uterus and have a fake penis constructed from the skin of my thigh or forearm. Therapy was never recommended.
Critics might dismiss my story as insignificant on the grounds that I am a 53-year-old woman with ample life experience who should be free to alter her body. However, this argument for adult bodily autonomy is a standard we apply to purely cosmetic procedures like breast implants, liposuction, and facelifts, not “medically necessary” and “lifesaving” treatments covered by health insurance. Or interventions that compromise health and introduce illness into an otherwise healthy body. And especially not for children.
My story, which I outline in much more detail below, should convince any half-rational person that gender medicine is not operating like any other field of medicine. Based on a radical concept of “gender identity,” this medical anomaly preys upon the body-image insecurities common among pubescent minors to bill health insurance companies for permanent cosmetic procedures that often leave their patients with permanently altered bodies, damaged endocrine systems, sexual dysfunction, and infertility.
* * *
Detailed Timeline of Events
On October 6, 2022, I responded to my Ob-Gyn’s email to tell her that, after some thought, I’d decided that maybe the label “cis woman” didn’t truly reflect who I was. After all, I did have some tomboyish tendencies. I told her I would like my records to be changed to reflect my newly realized “nonbinary” identity, and that my new pronouns were they/them. I also voiced my desire to be put in touch with an endocrinologist to discuss starting testosterone treatment.
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Fifteen minutes later I received an email from another Kaiser doctor informing me that my medical records had been changed, and that once my primary doctor returned to the office, I’d be able to speak with her about hormone therapy.
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I responded the following day (October 7, 2022), thanking her for changing my records, and asking if she could connect me with someone who could help me make an appointment for “top surgery” (i.e., a cosmetic double mastectomy) because my chest binder was rather “uncomfortable after long days and playing tennis.”
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She told me to contact my primary care MD to “get things rolling,” and that there were likely to be “preliminary evaluations.”
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Six days after contacting my primary care MD for a referral, I received an email from one of Kaiser’s gender specialists asking me to schedule a phone appointment so she could better understand my goals for surgery, so that I could get “connected to care.” This call to review my “gender affirming treatment options and services” would take 15-20 minutes, after which I would be “booked for intake,” allowing me to proceed with medical transition.
This wasn’t an evaluation of whether surgical transition was appropriate, it was simply a meeting for me to tell them what I wanted so that they could provide it.
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On October 18, I had my one and only in-person appointment in preparation for top surgery. I met in Davis with my primary care physician, Dr. Hong-wen Xue. The assessment was a 10-minute routine physical exam that included blood tests. Everything came back normal. Notably, there was not a single question about why I wanted top surgery or cross-sex hormones. Nor was there any discussion of the risks involved with these medical treatments.
The following week, on October 24, I had a phone appointment with Rachaell Wood, MFT, a gender specialist with Kaiser Sacramento. The call lasted 15 minutes and consisted of standard questions about potential drug use, domestic violence, guns in the house, and whether I experienced any suicidal thoughts. There were no questions from the gender specialist about my reasons for requesting a mastectomy or cross-sex hormones, or why I suddenly, at 52, decided I was “nonbinary.”
After the call, Kaiser emailed me instructions about how to prepare for my pre-surgery intake video appointment to evaluate my mental health, scheduled to take place on November 15. The email stated that prior to my appointment, I should research hormone risks on the WPATH website, and to “research bilateral mastectomy and chest reconstruction surgery risks and recovery” on Kaiser’s website.
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I decided to request a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy and phalloplasty. Kaiser sent me a sample timeline for gender transition surgery preparation (see below) that you can use as a reference for the process. I also asked for a prescription for cross-sex hormones (testosterone) as needed and recommended by Kaiser.
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[ Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]
Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part I
This “Mental Health Visit” assessment was conducted over Zoom. The Kaiser gender specialist started with questions addressing my marital status, race, gender identity, and other demographics. She asked whether I was “thinking of any other surgeries, treatments in the future.” The list she read included “gender-affirming” hysterectomies, bottom surgeries such as metoidioplasty and phalloplasty, vocal coaching, support groups, and body contouring. “Anything else you might be interested in doing?” she asked. I said that I’d perhaps be interested in body contouring. I was also assured that all the procedures would be covered by insurance because they were considered “medically necessary.”
I dropped in several red flags regarding my mental health to see the reaction, but all were ignored. For instance, I revealed that I had PTSD. When the therapist asked me about whether I had experienced any “childhood trauma,” I explained that I grew up in Mexico City and had been groped several times and had also witnessed men masturbating in public and had been grabbed by men in subways and buses. “I was a young girl, so [I had] lots of experiences of sexual harassments, sexual assault, just the kind of stuff that happens when you are a girl growing up in a big city.” “So, you know,” I finished, “just the general feeling that you are unsafe, you know, in a female body.”
The therapist did not respond to my disclosure that trauma could be the cause of my dysphoria. Instead of viewing this trauma as potentially driving my desire to escape my female body through hormones and surgery, she asked whether there is anything “important that the surgery team should be aware of” regarding my “history of trauma,” such as whether I’d be comfortable with the surgeon examining and marking my chest prior to surgery.
When asked about whether I had had any “psychotic symptoms,” I told her that while I had had no such symptoms, my mother had a delusional nervous breakdown in her 50s because she had body dysmorphia and became convinced she had a growth on her neck that needed to be removed. I told her that my mother was then admitted to an inpatient hospital for severe depression. I asked her whether she ever sees patients with body dysmorphia and whether I could have potentially inherited that from my mother. She told me that psychosis was hereditary, but that it was “highly unlikely” that there was any connection between body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria.
I enthusiastically waved more mental health red flags, waiting to see if she would pick up on any of them.
I’m just wondering if my feelings, or perseverating, or feeling like these breasts make me really unhappy and I just don’t want them anymore!...I’m just not sure if that’s a similar feeling to body dysmorphia? How do you decide which one is gender dysphoria and general body dysmorphia, and just not liking something about your body? Feeling uncomfortable with your body? And I did have an eating disorder all through college. I was a distance runner in college so I had bulimia and anorexia, you know. So I don’t know if that’s related to gender dysphoria?
The therapist replied, “I completely appreciate your concerns, but I am going to ask you questions about your chest, about your expectations. And then I’ll be able to give you an assessment.” She also said the main difference between my mom’s situation and mine was that my mom didn’t really have a growth on her neck, whereas it’s “confirmed” that I actually have “chest tissue.” Furthermore, she said that while “historically there has been all this pressure on patients to be like ‘Are you really, really sure you want hormones? Are you 100% sure?’ We are a little more relaxed.” She continued, “As long as you are aware of the risks and the side-effects, you can put your toe in the water. You can stop ‘T’ [testosterone], you can go back and do it again later! You can stop it! You can stop it! You know what I mean?”
Because we ran out of time, I scheduled a follow-up phone meeting on December 27, 2022 with a different gender specialist to complete my mental health assessment for top surgery.
Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part II
During this meeting, Guneet Kaur, LCSW, another Kaiser gender specialist (she/her/they/them pronouns) told me that she regretted the “gatekeeping vibe” of the meeting but assured me that since I have been “doing the work,” her questions are essentially just a form of “emotional support” before talking with the medical providers.
She asked me about what I’d been “looking into as far as hormones.” I told her that I’d be interested in taking small doses of testosterone to counterbalance my female feelings to achieve “a feeling that’s kind of neutral.”
When she asked me about me “not feeling like I match on the outside what I feel on the inside,” I dropped more red flags, mentioning my aversion to wearing dresses and skirts.
I don’t own a single dress or a skirt and haven't in 20 years. I think for me it’s been just dressing the way that’s comfortable for me, which is just wearing, jeans and sweatshirts and I have a lot of flannel shirts and, and I wear boots all the time instead of other kinds of shoes. So I think it’s been nice being able to dress, especially because I work from home now most of the time that just a feeling of clothing being one of the ways that I can feel more non-binary in my everyday life.
She responded, “Like having control over what you wear and yeah. Kind of that feeling of just, yeah, this is who I am today. That’s awesome. Yeah.”
She then asked me to describe my dysphoria, and I told her that I didn’t like the “feeling of the female form and being chesty,” and that because I am going through menopause, I wanted to start taking testosterone to avoid “that feeling of being like this apple-shaped older woman.” “Good. Okay, great,” she responded, reminding me that only “top surgery,” not testosterone, would be able to solve my chest dysphoria. (Perhaps it was because all these meetings were online, they didn’t notice I’m actually fit and relatively slender at 5’-5” and 130 pounds, and not apple-shaped at all.)
She told me that we had to get through a few more questions related to my medical history before “we can move on to the fun stuff, which is testosterone and top surgery.”
The “fun stuff” consisted of a discussion about the physical and mood changes I could expect, and her asking me about the dose of testosterone I wanted to take and the kind of “top surgery” technique I’d prefer to achieve my “chest goals.” She told me that all or most of my consultations for surgeries and hormones would be virtual.
The gender specialist told me after the appointment, she would submit my referral to the Multi-Specialty Transitions Clinic (MST) team that oversees “gender expansive care.” They would follow up to schedule a “nursing call” with me to review my medical history, after which they’d schedule my appointment with a surgeon for a consultation. Her instructions for this consultation were to “tell them what you’re wanting for surgery and then they share with you their game plan.”
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[ Decision-making slide to help me identify my goals for top surgery–flat chest, nipple sensation, or minimal scarring. Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]
She told me that Kaiser has a team of plastic surgeons who “only work with trans and nonbinary patients because there’s just so much need for them.” She asked about my priorities for chest surgery, such as whether I value flatness over nipple sensation. I learned about double incision top surgery with nipple grafts, as well as “keyhole,” “donut,” “buttonhole,” and “Inverted-T” top surgeries.
By the end of the hour-long appointment, I had my surgery referral and was ready for my “nursing call” appointment.
Nursing call with Nurse Coordinator from the Transgender Surgery and Gender Pathways Clinic at Kaiser San Francisco
On January 19, 2023, I had my nursing call with the Nurse Coordinator. He first said that “the purpose of this call is just for us to go through your chart together and make sure everything’s as accurate as possible.” Once that was done, my referral would be sent to the surgeon for a consultation.
He asked me about potential allergies and recreational drug use, and verified that I was up to date on mammograms, pap smears, and colon cancer screenings, as well as vaccines for flu and COVID. I verified my surgical history as well as my current medications and dietary supplements.
He told me about a “top surgery class” available for patients where one of the Kaiser surgeons “presents and talks about surgical techniques and options within top surgery,” and includes a panel of patients who have had top surgery. I signed up for the February 8th class.
Within 10 minutes he told me that he had “sent a referral to the plastic surgery department at Kaiser Sacramento,” and that I should be hearing from them in the next week or two to schedule a consultation.
Appointment for Testosterone
On January 27, I had a 13-minute online appointment with a primary care doctor at Kaiser Davis to discuss testosterone. The doctor verified my name and preferred pronouns, and then directly asked: “So, what would you like to do? What kind of physical things are you looking for?”
I told her I wanted facial hair, a more muscular and less “curvy” physique, and to feel stronger and androgynous. She asked me when I wanted to start, and I told her in the next few months. She asked me if I was menopausal, whether I had ovaries and a uterus, although that information should have been on my chart.
The doctor said she wanted me to come in to get some labs so she could check my current estrogen, testosterone, and hemoglobin levels before starting hormones. Then “we'll set the ball in motion and you'll be going. We’ll see you full steam ahead in the direction you wanna go.”
That was it. I made an appointment and had my lab tests done on February 12. My labs came back on February 14, and the following day, after paying a $5 copay at the Kaiser pharmacy, I picked up my testosterone pump. That was easy!
Top Surgery Consultation
On the same day I received my labs, I had a Zoom surgery consultation with Karly Autumn-Kaplan, MD, Kaiser Sacramento plastic surgeon. This consultation was all about discussing my “goals” for surgery, not about whether surgery was needed or appropriate.
I told the surgeon that I wanted a “flatter, more androgynous appearance.” She asked me some questions to get a better idea of what that meant for me. She said that some patients want a “male chest,” but that others “want to look like nothing, like just straight up and down, sometimes not even nipples.” Others still wanted their chest to appear slightly feminine and only “slightly rounded.” I told her that I’d like my chest to have a “male appearance.”
“What are your thoughts about keeping your nipples?” she asked. “Are you interested in having nipples or would you like them removed?” I told her that I’d like to keep my nipples, but to make them “smaller in size.” She asked me if I’d like them moved to “the edge of the peck muscle” to achieve “a more male appearance.” I said yes.
I was asked to show my bare chest from the front and side, which I did. Then she asked me how important it was for me to keep my nipple sensation. I replied that it was important unless it would make recovery more difficult or there were other associated risks. She highlighted the problem with the free nipple graft, saying that removing the nipple to relocate it means “you're not gonna have sensation in that nipple and areola anymore.” However, some nipple sensation could be preserved by keeping it attached to “a little stalk of tissue” with “real nerves going to it,” but that would require leaving more tissue behind. I told her I’d go for the free nipple graft to achieve a flatter appearance. It was also suggested I could skip nipple reconstruction entirely and just get nipples “tattooed” directly onto my chest.
She told me I was “a good candidate for surgery,” and put me on the surgery wait list. She said that the wait time was between three and five months, but a cancellation could move me up to a sooner date. Also, if I wanted surgery as soon as possible, I could tell the surgery scheduler that I’d be willing to have any of the other three surgeons perform my mastectomy. Outpatient top surgery would cost me a copay of $100.
They contacted twice, in February and March, notifying me of cancellations. If I had accepted and shown up on those dates, they would have removed my breasts. This would have been less than five months from the time I first contacted Kaiser to inform them of my new “nonbinary” gender identity.
How Far Can I Go?
I decided to see how easy it would be for me to get approved for a phalloplasty. Known euphemistically as “bottom surgery,” phalloplasty is the surgical creation of an artificial penis, generally using tissue from the thigh or arm.
I sent an email on March 1, 2023, requesting to have a phalloplasty and concurrent hysterectomy scheduled alongside my mastectomy.
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Two weeks later, on March 16th, I had a 16-minute phone call with a gender specialist to discuss my goals for bottom surgery and obtain my referral.
During the call, I explained to the specialist that I wasn’t sure about taking testosterone anymore because I was already quite athletic and muscular, and that taking testosterone didn’t make much sense to me. Instead, I wanted bottom surgery so that I wouldn’t feel like my “top” didn’t match my “bottom.” I told her:
But what I really wanted was to have bottom surgery. So this way when I have my top surgery, which sounds like it could be very soon, that I’ll be aligned, that I won’t have this sense of dysphoria with one part of my body and the other part feeling like it matched who I am. So yeah. So I just did a little bit more research into that. And I looked at the resources on the Kaiser page for the MST clinic and I think I know what I want, which is the hysterectomy and then at the same time or soon after to be able to have a phalloplasty.
I told her that I wanted to schedule the top and bottom surgery concurrently so that I wouldn’t have to take more time off work and it would save me trips to San Francisco or Oakland, or wherever I had to go for surgery.
None of this gave the gender specialist pause. After a brief conversation about some online resources to look over, she told me that she would “submit the referral now and we’ll get this ball rolling.”
Bottom surgery would cost me a copay of $200, which included a couple of days in the hospital for recovery.
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Phalloplasty Surgical Consultation with Nurse Coordinator
On May 16, 2023, I had a short surgical consultation with a nurse coordinator to go through my medical history. This was similar to the consultation for top surgery but included information about hair removal procedures for the skin on my “donor site” that would be fashioned into a makeshift penis. They also went over the procedures for determining which donor site—forearm or thigh—was more viable.
After only 15 minutes, she submitted my referral to the surgeon for another surgical consultation.
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On May 25 I received an email from my phalloplasty surgeon’s scheduler, informing me that they have received my referral and are actively working on scheduling, but that they are experiencing delays.
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I ended my investigation here once I had the referral for the top and bottom surgery. I never used my testosterone pump.
Final Thoughts
In fewer than 300 days, based on a set of superficial and shifting thoughts about my gender and my “embodiment goals” triggered by the mere mention of “gender” in a form letter from my primary care physician, and driven by what could only be described as minor discomforts, Kaiser Permanente’s esteemed “multi-disciplinary team” of “gender specialists” was willing, with enthusiasm—while ignoring mental health concerns, history of sexual trauma, and rapidly escalating surgical requests—to prescribe life-altering medications and perform surgeries to remove my breasts, uterus, and vagina, close my vaginal opening, and attempt a complex surgery with high failure and complication rates to create a functionless representation of a penis that destroys the integrity of my arm or thigh in the process.
This describes the supposedly meticulous, lengthy, and safety-focused process that a Kaiser patient must undergo to embark on a journey to medically alter their body. No clinician questioned my motivations. No one showed concern that I might be addressing a mental health issue through radical and irreversible interventions that wouldn’t address my amorphous problems. There were no discussions about how these treatments would impact my long-term health, romantic relationships, family, or sex life. I charted the course. The clinicians followed my lead without question. The guiding issue was what I wanted to look like.
No other medical field operates with this level of carelessness and disregard for patient health and welfare. No other medical field addresses issues of self-perception with surgery and labels it “medically necessary.” No other medical field is this disconnected from the reality of the patients it serves.
Kaiser has traded medicine for ideology. It’s far beyond time we stop the ruse of considering “gender-affirming” interventions as anything approaching medical care.
This isn’t the first time Kaiser Permanente has been in the news for completely disregarding medical safeguards in the name of “gender-affirming care.” As girls, Chloe Cole and Layla Jane became convinced that they were born in the wrong body and were actually boys on the inside. Doctors at Kaiser ignored their underlying conditions and instead prescribed testosterone and removed their breasts. Both Cole and Jane have since detransitioned and are currently suing Kaiser.
The fact that children and vulnerable adults are being exploited in this massive ideological experiment is not just tragic; it’s deeply disturbing, especially considering it has evolved into a billion-dollar industry.
I hope that by sharing my story, I can bring more focused scrutiny to the medical scandal unfolding not just at Kaiser but also at medical centers and hospitals across the Western world. These institutions have completely abandoned medical safeguards for patients who claim to be confused about their “gender,” and I aim to awaken more parents and assist them in protecting their children.
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This is completely insane.
Apologists online are running around saying, but she didn't mean it, she was lying, she was pretending...
It doesn't matter.
Any kind of security, penetration or integrity test is insincere too. When security researchers compromise Microsoft's operating system or Google's browser or whatever, "but they didn't mean it" is not a defence to a discovered security flaw. It doesn't matter that the security researchers didn't plan to steal data or money or identities. The flaw in the system is there regardless.
It doesn't matter that it was insincere. Because the workers didn't know that. They never checked, never asked questions, never tested. They had been taught and instructed to never ask any questions. They did what they were supposed to. And the system failed spectacularly. Because that's what "gender affirming care" means.
Additionally, the claim that Beth Bourne committed fraud is an outright lie. A patient cannot bill. They do not have the authority. The medical clinic is the only one that can bill, and they must supply a diagnosis and a medical necessity.
If they didn't diagnose her and just wrote down what she said, then they committed fraud. If they claim they did diagnose her, then they committed fraud, because the diagnosis they concocted was bogus. This, by the way, is actually going on. Clinics are reporting fake endocrine and other disorders to get blockers, hormones and other interventions. Jamie Reed and other whistleblowers have documented evidence of this. Beth Bourne is not responsible for what the clinic does. They have medical licenses and legal responsibility. Not her.
Additionally, anyone who actually read the article would know how she tested the system. She said things like, "I've always been not that feminine. So, maybe I get my boobs removed." And they said, "sure." Instead of saying, "wait, why do you think that?" Framing it as her lying is itself a lie. They violated their ethical obligations. That much is incontrovertible. And it's directly the result of "gender affirming care," where clinics and clinicians rubber-stamp anything deemed "trans" based entirely on ideological, not medical, grounds.
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little-lynx · 1 year
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EVERLARK OUTFITS: THE VICTORY TOUR
This part of “Catching Fire” is done (finally) so I put it all together;) DISTRICT 11, THE SQUARE
I go to my compartment and let the prep team do my hair and makeup. Cinna comes in with a pretty orange frock patterned with autumn leaves. I think how much Peeta will like the color. <…> As the train is pulling into the District 11 station, Cinna puts the finishing touches on my outfit, switching my orange hairband for one of metallic gold and securing the mockingjay pin I wore in the arena to my dress. <…> I can hear the anthem beginning outside in the square. Someone clips a microphone on me. Peeta takes my left hand. // Catching Fire, ch. 4
I think this dress should be a little semi-official so I choose cape sleeve sheath midi dress. It’s perfect for autumn (and they have early autumn weather there in 11th). The hair is just plain + gold hairband = girlish innocent look like the one after the games (this tactics they choose for the Tour). Plus I wanted to draw Katniss with her natural straight hair because i draw her with her braid usually ;) And again nothing about Peeta’s outfit. You know I feel like Portia 😅 because I have to choose how to dress Peeta. I’m not complaining through. So it is black suit with golden buttons (matching Katniss’s hairband and pin), thin soft orange sweater and black leather shoes.
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DISTRICT 11, THE DINNER
A pale pink strapless dress brushes my shoes. My hair is pinned back from my face and falling down my back in a shower of ringlets. Cinna comes up behind me and arranges a shimmering silver wrap around my shoulders. He catches my eye in the mirror. “Like it?”  “It's beautiful. As always,” I say. “Let's see how it looks with a smile,” he says gently. // Catching Fire, ch.5
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DISTRICT 7
Jackson has devised a game called «Real or Not Real» to help Peeta. He mentions something he thinks happened, and they tell him if it’s true or imagined, usually followed by a brief explanation. <...> But since Peeta’s greatest confusion centers around me—and not everything can be explained simply—our exchanges are painful and loaded, even though we touch on only the most superficial of details. The color of my dress in 7. My preference for cheese buns. The name of our math teacher when we were little. Reconstructing his memory of me is excruciating. Perhaps it isn’t even possible after what Snow did to him. But it does feel right to help him try. // Mockingjay, ch. 19
So we have only one sentence in “Mockingjay” about this outfit. And still I decided to draw it because I have a theory (head canon?) about it. I think Peeta remembers the color of her dress because it was special night for him (a lot of kisses and attempts to sneak away from everyone and maybe it felt very real at times) and also because she had two braids and the dress was red. RED is the color ❤️. / Peeta has dark red + black + a little bit gold which is also sexy color combination.
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DISTRICT 5 I volunteer to take Annie back to my house in 12, where Cinna left a variety of evening clothes in a big storage closet downstairs. All of the wedding gowns he designed for me went back to the Capitol, but there are some dresses I wore on the Victory Tour.  <…> Annie wears a green silk dress I wore in 5, Finnick one of Peeta’s suits that they altered— the clothes are striking. <…>  As surely as the embroidery stitches in Annie’s gown were done by Cinna’s hand, the frosted flowers on the cake were done by Peeta’s.  // Mockingjay, ch. 16
Katniss: green silk dress + wavy sleeves + sea waves embroidery / Peeta: ivory dress shirt + knitted green waistcoat with sea waves embroidery + tweed suit
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DISTRICT 2
Girl talk. That thing I've always been so bad at. Opinions on clothes, hair, makeup. So I lie. “Yeah, he's been helping me design my own clothing line. You should see what he can do with velvet.” Velvet. The only fabric. I could think of off the top of my head. “I have. On your tour. That strapless number you wore in District Two? The deep blue one with the diamonds? So gorgeous I wanted to reach through the screen and tear it right off your back,” says Johanna. // Catching Fire, Chapter 15
This description gave me strong “Anastasia” feels 😅. So I loosely based Katniss dress on Anastasia’s ballet evening gown. For Peeta I chose tuxedo jacket similar to Salvatore Ferragamo design for FF 12/13.  Neo classic, purple velvet, shiny shoes. Also I decided to include a cane, both to help Peeta to have some rest during all this Tour activities and as an accessory.
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DISTRICT 12
When we reach the mayor's house, I only have time to give Madge a quick hug before Effie hustles me off to the third floor to get ready. After I'm prepped and dressed in a full-length silver gown, I've still got an hour to kill before the dinner, so I slip off to find her. <…> She [Madge] saw my reflection behind her and smiled. “Look at you. Like you came right off the streets of the Capitol.” // Catching Fire, ch.6
When I started drawing this one I just felt that I need to make it look very “Capitol”. So I added some feathers. A LOT of sparkling feathers, haha. Also there are some “moon and stars” accessories in Katniss’ hair because this silver gown gives me moonlight vibes. For Peeta I came up with classic suit but made him wear it casually.
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satoruhour · 7 months
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a/n: jjk 236 spoilers, mentions of suicide from reader’s side, no comfort, cry. around 1.4k. tagging @jabamin @hyomagiri @saiki-enthusiast @arminsumi @shotorus @satohruu so yall can suffer w me
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the first signs of grief manifests in you when there’s a bright light that signifies gojo’s disperse of cursed energy, the familiar hollow purple that obliterates half the buildings around the two strongest sorcerers — one from the heian and the other one from our times. surely, your lover wouldn’t do something as foolish as involving himself with the blast, but gojo satoru is always one to take risks.
when he took up the job of taking care of megumi and tsumiki at just eighteen years old and providing all the things they needed to fluorish. gojo is risky as he convinces a kid with a terrifying curse to make some friends and learn about cursed energy. he sometimes puts himself in danger when he takes up more missions he can shoulder just to show the higher-ups that he can kill them any time.
gojo satoru has the world of jujutsu in his hands; how his birth had changed the trajectory of the society, altered the balance of the world and now—
“satoru!” you call out once the smoke clears and he’s still there, intact, smiling a sick smile like the many times you’ve seen him done at megumi and after burning french toast. you brief a sigh of relief and the pounding of your heart calms down momentarily before sukuna emerges and he’s missing a hand and a leg and your heart pulls lower and lower seeing the kid you raised be such a ragdoll for sukuna’s entertainment. but there was always the hope to isolate the king of curses’ soul and save megumi somehow. shoko and you had discussed it, you know it to be true, it has to be true, until there’s a sharp noise that cuts through your ear drums.
it’s high-pitched, like a flash of light that shines in your eyes too abruptly and you have to cover them. but it blinds you as much as it deafens; an attack from god knows which end and you swear you hear the reaper’s scythe.
gojo thinks you look beautiful like this; hand on your cheek and head in your hand as you watch him and the melodic sounds of the knife hitting the cutting board. you’re so concerned about him cutting his hand again that you’ve dragged your chair all the way into the kitchen to watch him closely, which was counterintuitive; the whole reason why he had bled in the first place was because he was looking at you so much.
he admires the way you curl into yourself on the beanbag in the apartment, a book on your lap on how to get to know your teenager better, hair falling over your eyes and the reading lamp not even helping that much in illuminating the words. gojo skims over your features and the way your chest breathes slowly, like everything good in the world. he hopes he’s able to get that with you in this life, for as long as he lives.
you feel it before you see it in the screens that the fight is broadcasted from — something is missing. a light has switched off, satoru has stolen the blanket at night and left you freezing again, seeing your favourite snack missing from the fridge. and you run. past the students you’ve raised, past the bright blinding screens and into the battlefield, past the debris and each crunch of cement under your feet brings a fresh bout of tears to your eyes. the tokyo winter is cool, snow starting to slowly fall upon you and the saltiness on your face seem to crystallise and harden and you’re not even sure any more. there’s a tingling feeling in your feet, in your finger tips and a pull of your heart. you know where gojo is before you see him.
“s— satoru…” you mumble, eyes welling up with more tears when his bottom half stays standing, baggy pants stained with red, red and more red and you’ve never hated a colour like you do now. you hate it, you hate it, you hate it even when he’s proposed to you with a red velvet box and gotten you valentine’s day chocolates in that same darker red and there is just too much blood.
and then it’s like the hierarchy of grief doesn’t matter any more. all those articles you’ve read preparing yourself after gojo’s fated meeting with death at sixteen, and then after shibuya — you think you can’t handle any more of the collecting and patching up and crying and headaches and holding a finger up to your chest and hoping you’d kill yourself with your own technique. the only time you’d accept the absence of the bright blue on his face is when he was sleeping and his chest moved with even breaths, not like this.
not like this. 
“satoru—” your voice cracks and you cannot even see. tears and tears and mucus and the fresh crunch of snow under your feet as you step closer to his severed body.
“baby…” he mumbles, barely above a whisper, hand twitching and reaching out in the direction of your voice because this is infinitely worse than getting stabbed in the neck by toji fushiguro, perhaps a little worse than seeing your best friend of your high school life get manipulated by a cursed user. satoru wants to demote all of that and say that seeing you stumble to your knees in front of him while you hyperventilate and sob hurts the most. 
“d-don’t move, ’toru, we— we’re going to get you b-back, okay?” you’re playing with god now. “shoko!” the doctor stifles a sob at your cry, broken up by the feedback of the sound system. she knows you’re trying to defy god.
“i don’t think—” the light is slowly dying. the world’s light, the student’s light, your dawn and dusk. “m-my love, everything is…”
“satoru, please, you need to—!” they say the last sense to go is touch and hearing. you crouch to his face to see him react to your warmth, eyes moving an inch to where he thinks you were and puts all of his cursed energy into one hand just so he could hold your cheek. you, warm as always as the sun and everything good in the world, a new rush of warmth overtaking his hand when your tears flow over his battered, tired hands, the same hands that has drawn over his love time and time again over your body and you are a canvas made of gojo satoru’s endless, unconditional ardour.
“i-i’m…” it fades out, his voice box is almost gone and you wail again and the snow from below wets your knees. his name is all that leaves your lips and you think if you can’t play god, you can only beg, even if your religion is solely gojo satoru.
“no, no, no no nono, satoru, c’mon, baby, stop it!” you scream in his face, words all mushed together when you feel the breath of life leave his chest, the blues die out in his eyes, “i love you, i love you, darling, i love you—” your lover barely manages to muster a small smile and you scramble all over his chest, clutching at the tattered black t-shirt and his hand that is starting to go cold and he has the energy to mutter out a stupid remark like gojo satoru always does.
“i’m sorry i got y-your favourite outfit stained with red, princess…” satoru whispers and that breaks the dam fully. you sob and groan and cry and wail until your voice is hoarse and you cannot speak any more and gojo wants nothing but to full heal himself again just so he could stop your crying. perhaps hold your face in his hands and kiss your forehead and nose and lips and embrace you until you couldn’t breathe. perhaps even to tell you he loved you more than anything and everything; more than poems and that foolish line he just had to say at the end and kikufuku and waking up next to you.
but in what world will gojo satoru ever get repose and a normal life? you hope for every other universe to have him be a preschool teacher, or maybe a florist, or even a superstar. but not in this one, no.
the hand that caressed your cheek is replenished again with cursed energy.
satoru gives you three squeezes.
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celaenaeiln · 8 months
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thinking about some quotes i’ve read and i wanna hear your thoughts on them because i have a lot and i don’t know what to do with them.
“the day Dick Grayson turns evil is the day the universe ends, not because that day will never come but because the boy will make it come”
“Dick Grayson isn’t the universal constant of good. Dick Grayson is the universal constant of competence”
“So, having said all that, it is a few but definitely significant words that fill the contingency plan on Nightwing in case the hero of Bludhaven ever turns to the dark side. Let's hope that never happens.”
YESSSSS
“the day Dick Grayson turns evil is the day the universe ends, not because that day will never come but because the boy will make it come”
This is the truest fact I've ever heard because this is really canon.
Word for word this happened.
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In one of the canon timelines Clark laser blasted Bruce under mind control.
And oh how Dick took over. You know what Luthor says?
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"After all, as I've heard your father [Dick] so often quoted, 'we make the hardest decisions for those we care about the most.' Well, in his case...that has meant remaking the world."
This man has the power to single-handedly control the fate of the world.
Whatever he wants, he will make it happen.
The entirety of the justice league, all the metas, heroes, and villains too stood no chance against him.
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DC vs Vampires
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“Dick Grayson isn’t the universal constant of good. Dick Grayson is the universal constant of competence”
I think it's true.
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Nightwing is one of the most formidable figures in DC, without fail consistently coming out on top, so if Superman is iterating that Dick's personality and essence of being is the same, then there's really no room for disagreement.
But more truly, I think he is a Nexus.
By Marvel's definition, "Nexus Beings are rare individual entities with the ability to affect probability and thus the future, thereby altering the flow of the Universal Time Stream. These beings, each referred to as a nexus, act as the keystones of the Multiverse and are crucial to its ultimate coherence and stability."
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That means that the universe hinges on the actions of Dick Grayson.
Not only does he control the fate of the world but his mere existence determines what will become of it by other people:
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I'd like to reiterate that Neux Beings are "the keystones of the Multiverse and are crucial to its ultimate coherence and stability."
You can still be a nexus if you turn dark. For example Lore was a dark version of Wanda Maximoff but she is still considered a nexus. So you're right in saying that Dick Grayson is a multiuniversal constant of competence.
“So, having said all that, it is a few but definitely significant words that fill the contingency plan on Nightwing in case the hero of Bludhaven ever turns to the dark side. Let's hope that never happens.”
In the easiest terms as someone put it, "hope he fucks up" is Bruce's only contingency plan against Nightwing. The man doesn't have a clear plan how to neutralize Nightwing.
His exact words are: "As a result of overanalyzing any situation, this allows Dick Grayson to overconfident and misdirected. This will make himself open to a second attack."
So the plan is basically 'Dick is too smart for his own good so we'll have to go with a lucky surprise attack.' He's literally saying 'yupppp. Let's just hope he messed up because there's nothing we can do on ouR end.' Note that Bruce doesn't even have a back up like 'the second attack didn't work? we're fucked.'
For everyone else he actually has a coherent plan in mind- do this and they will fall. But for Dick? 'I hope he messes up enough for a second attack to actually stick. Otherwise we're shit out of luck. And lives. Fingers crossed he doesn't jump to the bad side.'
Tim also confirmed he would never make a contingency plan for Dick. The only person in the world he wouldn't do one for.
He's just that formidable of a man. Even now he can easily take down the Justice League if he wanted to.
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And we know that Dick has one of the strongest wills on the planet.
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"I have my enhancements. I have powers. Dick Grayson...what do you have?"
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A world where Dick loses his emotions is a world that would not survive.
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cassandraclare · 3 months
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*sighs a bit* Okay. Guys. I have been asked this question a lot, and answered it a lot. I don't know how to give a better answer — Dru & Ty&Kit share significance as main characters — so I guess I'll talk a little about comparison and structures.
First, all series have different structures. I don't think it's super useful or predictive to try to map an upcoming, unknown book series onto an existing series. In TLH the main character was Cordelia, everyone else was secondary to her, and people's roles and the significance of them altered from book to book. It was a big ensemble cast and they mostly stayed put in London especially in book 1.
TWP focuses on a smaller group of people. It also has a very different structure. In book one, Dru is not with Kit and Ty. They are in different places, both of which have their own stories that are significant to the plot. There is no way to see Place One without following Dru. There is no way to see Place Two without following Kit and Ty.
I know that TWP is a long way off. I know there are people who are very angry with me that there's such a gap, but there isn't anything currently I can do about that, or about the fact that I don't yet have the schedule for my upcoming books. That rests in the hands of several different publishers who must coordinate the release times and production schedules for four different series. I am not withholding any information about when these books come out. I simply don't know it yet.
I understand that TWP being a long way off makes for anxiety, and that those who are worried Kit and Ty will somehow be secondary are looking for tiny clues in microscopic details — micro-reading the of placement of the word "and" in my newsletter and such — that are meaningless, but I get that it all comes from anxiety. (FTR, those worried Dru will be secondary are equally anxious.)
I think there is only so much I can say. Because there's a big gap between TLH and TWP everything I do say or every image or hint about it is freighted with a weight of assumption it can't really support. Anxiety is always going to trump reassurance. And truly, at the end of the day, if you only care about Kit and Ty and find the idea of a Dru story tiresome, you will feel like they got shafted because when you absolutely hate a plotline, you will always feel like it's taking up way too much space. That's just how our minds work.
I've been doing this long enough that I know no book can survive a hostile reading. I know that Book Three of a trilogy is the one people hate until they don't. (When Clockwork Princess came out people hated it so much I considered quitting writing!) I know that it's wonderful to love a character but can also be a problem for people when I put out books that aren't about that particular character or dynamic. I know that for a lot of people, Sword Catcher and Ragpicker King are just tiresome things that have no business on my schedule because they're not Shadowhunter books. And I get it. But I also have to block it out, because I've been writing a long time, and I've gotten to a point where I know that I have to write the thing I want to be writing, because if I don't, if I sit down and try to force myself to write something I'm not feeling like writing at that time, I'll be making myself physically and mentally sick. And that's no good for anyone, really.
I suppose the positive thing is that, while this would not have been true five years ago, I am at the place where I want very much to be writing Wicked Powers. I missed these characters and am glad to be back with them. I consider this a story in which there are three main characters. And that is all I can say right now because it's all that I know.
(And this was much more of a general response to a lot of things than a specific response to this question, but I did feel like it was stuff that I needed to say. Creators are at the end of the day, just people. Sometimes we are powerless to reassure. Sometimes we are tired. Sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes we try things and they don't work. Sometimes we can't explain to you what our story is going to make you feel, because only reading it is going to tell you that. This may be one of those times.)
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creature-wizard · 4 months
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Is the spiritual person a conspiracy theorist? A list of red flags
They talk about a shadowy group of people supposedly manipulating everything behind the scenes. They might refer to them by terms such as globalists, bankers, international bankers, secret rulers of the world, the elite, the cabal, Kabbalists, Talmudists, satanists, satanic pedophiles, pedophiles, generational satanists, satanic bloodlines, the Illuminati, the Babylonian Brotherhood, lizard people, Reptilians, Orions, regressives, regressive entities, Khazarians, Marxists, cultural Marxists, or leftists. Sometimes, very rarely, they'll just come right out and say "Jews."
They claim that the conspiracy has been working to conceal historical and spiritual truths from humanity.
They claim that the conspiracy uses stuff like food, entertainment, and medicine to control the masses. For example, "additives in food suppress our psychic abilities" or "Hollywood films contain subliminal messages" or "COVID vaccines were actually created to alter your DNA to make you more docile."
Also, claims that the conspiracy controls people via spiritual or technological implants, 5G, or alter programming, with or without explicit mention of Project Monarch (a conspiracy theory promoted by far right cranks such as Mark Philips and Fritz Springmeier, who used hypnosis to respectively convince Cathy O'Brien and Cisco Wheeler that they'd been put under mind control by a global satanic conspiracy).
They claim that this conspiracy is controlling the media, has fingers in every institution they disagree with, and is generally behind everything they disagree with. (EG, the conspiracy created the Catholic Church; that other New Ager they disagree with is actually controlled opposition, etc.)
They claim that the conspiracy is trying to keep people in fear.
They claim that the conspiracy harvests something from people. Blood and adrenochrome are common ones. Loosh is somewhat less common. Expect to see something else pop up eventually.
They claim that the conspiracy practices genetic engineering; EG, creating animal/human hybrids, using vaccines to genetically sever people's connection to God, etc.
They claim that true spiritual wisdom can be traced back to places like Atlantis, Lemuria, or Mu.
They claim that world governments have secretly been in contact with extraterrestrials for years.
They appeal to known frauds and cranks, including but not limited to Erich Von Daniken, Zechariah Sitchin, David Icke, David Wilcock, Graham Hancock, Jaime Maussan, Bob Lazar, Steven Greer, Richard C. Hoagland, Fritz Springmeier, and Drunvalo Melchizedek.
Appeals to forged documents, including but not limited to the alleged diary of Admiral Richard Byrd, The Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Atlantean, and The Urantia Book.
Appeals to channeled information, such as that provided by Edgar Cayce, Carla Rueckert, or George Van Tassel.
"But all of this has to come from somewhere, doesn't it?"
Oh, it all comes from somewhere, all right, but the where isn't what most people imagine.
A lot of the stuff above is just a modern spin on the content of The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion, a Russian hoax created to justify violence against Russian Jews. The Protocols itself was plagiarized from a political satire and incorporated a lot of the post-French Revolution conspiracy theories about Freemasons and Jews being behind the French Revolution. I wrote a summary of the conspiracy tropes found in The Protocols over here.
The stuff about Satanic sacrifices and the consumption of blood, adrenochrome, loosh, or whatever are simply just variations on blood libel, an antisemitic conspiracy theory that claims Jews practice ritual cannibalism. Blood libel can be traced back to ancient Greece. (With the Greek version, I really can't help but notice the similarity to modern urban legends of gangsters kidnapping random people for initiation rituals.)
Many of these tropes can also be linked back to the early modern witch hunts. It was believed that witches sacrificed babies to Satan, practiced cannibalism, and put people under mind control by way of diabolical magic. It was also believed that some witches didn't even know they were witches; they'd go off to attend the Devil's Sabbath at night and come back in the morning without remembering a thing. In the late 20th century, this witch hunter's canard would be reinvented as the alter programming conspiracy theory when media such as the 1973 book Sibyl and its 1976 television adaptation put DID (note: the woman who inspired Sibyl did not have DID) into the public consciousness. For a more complete list of witch panic and blood libel tropes, I wrote a list over here.
Lemuria was a hypothetical landmass proposed to explain the presence of lemur fossils in Madagascar and India while being absent in continental Africa and the rest of Asia, because if lemurs evolved naturally, they wouldn't be in two separate places with no connection to each other. The discovery that India and Madagascar were once connected not only made the hypothesis obsolete, it precludes the existence of Lemuria.
The whole notion of Mu began with a horrendous mistranslation of the Troano manuscript. A man named Augustus Le Plongeon would link the mistranslation with the story of Atlantis, and use it to claim that Atlantis actually existed in the Americas. (For Plongeon, Mu and Atlantis were one and the same.) And then other people (like James Churchward) got their hands on the whole Mu thing, and put their own spins on it, and the rest is history.
Le Plongeon's ideas influence modern Atlantis mythology today; EG, the idea that it was in the Americas. Another guy who helped shape the modern Atlantis myth was Ignatius L. Donnelly, an American politician. Dude claimed that Atlanteans spread their oh-so-superior culture far and wide. He also claimed that Atlantis was the home of the Aryan people, because of course he did.
The idea that all of the world's wisdom can be traced back to Thoth/Hermes goes back to Hermeticism, a product of Greco-Egyptian syncretism. Hermeticism produced a fascinating body of mythology and an interesting way to consider the divine and its role in shaping human history, but that doesn't mean it was right. And the Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Atlantean is a modern text that has fuck-all to do with ancient Hermeticism and more to do with HP Lovecraft.
This idea that the conspiracy uses pharmaceutical drugs and vaccines for evil also has roots in Nazi Germany. The Nazi government, wanting to reserve real medicine for their soldiers, told the general populace that said medicine was the product of evil Jewish science and prescribed alternative healing modalities instead. (Said alternative healing modalities did not particularly work.) It also echoes the old conspiracy theories about Jews spreading the Black Death by poisoning wells.
The idea that the conspiracy uses genetic manipulation to create subhuman beings or sever humanity from the divine is a permutation of the Nazi conspiracy theory that Jews are trying to destroy the white race through race mixing. The idea of evil reptilian DNA goes back to the ancient serpent seed doctrine, which is indeed old, but no less pure hateful nonsense for it.
"But there's got to be somebody up to something rotten out there!"
Oh sure. But these people aren't skulking around in the shadows. They're acting pretty openly.
The Heritage Foundation has been working to push this country into Christofascism since the early 1970's. They're the ones responsible for the rise of the Moral Majority and the election of Ronald Reagan. They're also the ones behind Project 2025, which intends to bring us deeper into Christofascism. (Among many other horrible things, they intend to outlaw trans people as "pornographic.")
The Seven Mountains Mandate is another movement pushing for Christofascism. They intend to seize the "seven spheres" of society, which include education, religion, family, business, government/military, arts/entertainment, and media.
There's also the ghoulish American Evangelicals who support Israel because they think that current events are going to bring about the Second Coming of Jesus and cement the formation of a global Christofascist empire. Don't let their apparent support of Jews fool you - they believe that the good Jews will become Christians and the bad ones will go to hell.
All of these people are working toward monstrously horrific goals, but none of them are part of an ancient megaconspiracy. In fact, these are the kinds of people pushing the myth of the ancient megaconspiracy. From the witch hunts to Nazi Germany to the American Evangelical movement, if history has taught us anything, the people pushing the conspiracy theories are always the bad guys.
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sophieinwonderland · 1 month
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An Autism culture blog is spreading misinformation about endogenic systems...
The misinformation:
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Naturally, all of this is wrong.
The only true statement here is "you could probably learn a lot more about these things in your own research." Because yeah... Doing your own research is likely to bring you to actually valid sources of information instead of whatever this is.
Real Information:
Endogenic systems are not a "fake form of dissociative disorder."
Endogenic systems ARE plural systems who experience multiple agents, or "headmates," sharing the same body in some way without trauma. Usually, endogenic systems don't even report having any sort of dissociative disorder at all.
And this is a real experience that's been repeatedly acknowledged by the psychiatric community.
So much so that the World Health Organization's diagnostic handbook, the ICD-11, specifically states that you can experience the presence of multiple "distinct identity states" without a mental disorder.
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"Distinct identity states" is the same wording the ICD-11 uses to describe alters that characterized DID:
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It's also acknowledged in the book Transgender Mental Health by Eric Yarbrough, which was reviewed and published by the American Psychiatric Association, that you can be plural without trauma or a disorder:
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Additionally, the phrasing that endogenic plurality "mocks and invalidates people who are actually plural" is especially harmful as it erases and rewrites a huge part of plural history. That is, the fact that "plural" is an inclusive term coined and popularized to by non-disordered and endogenic systems.
Back in the 90s, the popular term that was used was "multiple," originating with "multiple personality disorder," the old name for DID.
The shift towards using "plural" was an effort by non-disordered systems to distance themselves from medical and pathologizing language. As you can see from this article from the 90s:
We don't claim that every multiple system/household is a happy loving cooperative one. What we do question is the *identification* of "real multiples" with the characteristics or symptoms of a psychological disorder. We go further: we question by what right or authority doctors and therapists are given sole jurisdiction over the definition of "an individual".
This is one reason our clan encourages use of the word "plural" rather than "multiple". "Multiple", even standing by itself, brings to mind MPD/DID, "multiple personality disorder", "dissociative identity disorder", which are specific diagnoses created by the medical/therapeutic community. "Plural" is a much more neutral word, more commonly heard in the context of grammar than psychiatry. (The other reason, of course, is that plural can be construed to have a broader meaning, applying to anyone(s) anywhere on the continuum who experience themselves as plural in some way. )
The Bottom Line:
An autism culture blog should be lifting up all neurodivergents. Not spreading misinformation about them and encouraging hate!
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