#my queer experience | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genovianxprince · 4 months

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People seem to have A Thing or Person they can point at and say this, this was my gay awakening, but for me it was more of a slow born thing, a gradual coming up of realizations one after the other in rousing crescendo, one simple beat at a time until it became a complex cacophony of noise too loud to ignore, from every little thing or person I experienced or saw, moment to moment, building up into one queer me. I'm a culmination without a starting point to look at and say this person/thing is what did it for me. First, it was just learning that two boys were allowed to kiss in a simple story, and then twelve, fifteen years later, here I am, loud, proud, and queer to the end. Transfag, wolfgender, lover of men and women almost alike but not quite, happily existing.

#blog talk #queer #my queer experience

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dragonling348 · 4 months

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To celebrate aroace trending I'd like to talk about my experiences, because I think I have a unique one in a couple of ways. I'm one of the few that thought I was ace when I was actually pan, instead of the other way around. There were a couple reasons for this.

My upbringing had a stigma around sex and romance, and I would look away not only for sexual scenes in movies, but also for kissing. I still have to fight the habit to look away when I see kissing because my parents taught me to as a kid. I internalized that anything romantic was gross and wrong, and that I shouldn't think about that stuff. Somehow one of my older sisters went the complete opposite way and was very romance positive. Because I didn't have the same views as her, I figured I just wasn't cut out for having a partner and decided I would be single forever (well, so far that one's still true. Rip me.)

So now there's this kid who swears up and down that they'll never have romance and that kissing is wrong. They get to middle school, and they're surrounded with people who all really fucking want it, and they're just learning that asexuality even exists. Of course I heard of the ace experience of being sex repulsed and figured that must be me. I didn't really see myself as queer, but I loved the ace community and I loved the running gags about dragons and garlic bread and I loved seeing myself as ace.

The problem was, I wasn't. I'm not. When I started watching those suggestive scenes in movies and was no longer expected to look away, I *did* feel something. For the longest time, I swore it was something else--my sense of danger (because Star Trek, the one that had all those suggestive scenes, mostly had them where the seductor was evil...) or just getting really invested in the story, yknow? But then I started getting into fanfictions, and I read my first smut fanfiction. And that's when I finally accepted that I did experience sexual attraction. I felt a big loss leaving the ace community, and I felt like I'd lied by saying I was ace. But I still feel a connection to them even if I'm not ace, because that time when I thought I was, I got to know some wonderful people. I still love that community so fucking much.

As for aromantics, I never really thought about it before, but I just recently found out I might be on the spectrum... so who knows man.

Moral of the story? I really don't know. I may be more comfortable being allo, but I kind of miss the ace community. You guys are fucking amazing. You withstand so much from fellow queers and cishets. You deserve the world.

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #my queer experience #dragonling says shit #tumblr stop being exclusionist plz #i love you aces i love you aros #you are queer enough

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aletterinthenameofsanity · 2 months

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Y'know, there's this gripe I've had for years that really frustrates me, and it has to do with Love, Simon and people joking about it and calling it too-pg and designed-for-straight-people and all the like. (A similar thing has happened to Heartstopper, but that's another conversation.)

I saw Love, Simon in theaters when it came out my senior year in high school. I saw it three times, once with my friends/parents on opening night, once with my brother over spring break, and once with my grandparents.

On opening night, the air in the room was electric. It was palpable. Half the heads in there were dyed various colors. Queer kids were holding hands. We were all crying and laughing and cheering as a group. My friends grabbed my hands at the part where Simon was outed and didn't let go until his parents were saying that they accepted him. My friend came out to me as non-binary. Another person in our group admitted that she had feelings for girls. It was incredible. I left shaking. This was the first mainstream queer romance movie that had ever been produced by one of the main five studios, and I know that sounds like another "first queer character from Disney" bit but you have to understand that even in 2018 this was groundbreaking. Getting to have a sweet queer rom-com where the main character was told that he got "to breathe now" after coming out meant so much to me and my friends.

But also, from a designed-for-straight-people POV (which, to be frank, it was written by a bisexual author and directed by a gay man, this was not designed for straight audiences), why is it a bad thing that it appealed to the widest possible audience? That it could make my parents and grandparents see things in a new light? My stepdad wasn't at all interested in rom-coms but he saw it with me because it was something I cared about and he hugged me when we came out of the theater. My very Catholic grandparents watched it with me and though my grandpa said he still didn't quite understand the whole 'gay thing,' all he wanted was for me to be happy and to have a happy ending like Simon did. My Nana actually cried when Simon came out and squeeze my hand when his mother told him he could breathe.

And when Martin blackmailed Simon, my mom, badass ally that she is, literally hissed "Dropkick him. Dropkick him in the balls" leading to multiple queer kids in the audience to laugh or smile. Having my parents there- the only parents, by the way, out of my group of queer and questioning friends- made multiple people realize that supportive adults were out there. That parents like those in Love, Simon do exist in real life.

When people complain about Heartstopper not being realistic or Love, Simon being too cutesy, I remember seeing Love, Simon on opening night. I remember my friend coming out and my stepdad hugging me and my mom defending us through this character. I remember the cheers that went through the audience when Bram and Simon kissed and the chatter in the foyer after the movie was over and the way that this movie made me understand that happy endings do exist.

Queer kids need happy endings. Straight people need entry points to becoming allies. Both of these things can come together in beautiful ways. They can find out about more queer culture later, but for now, let them have this. Let them all have a glimpse at a better, happier world. Let them have queer joy.

#love simon #simon vs thsa #simon spier #spierfeld #bram greenfeld #my experiences #meta #the importance of queer joy #heartstopper #becky albertalli #my mom also watched rwrb with me last year when it premiered #and let me tell you that was interesting sitting in the room with her for an r-rated romance movie like that

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shmaroace · 1 year

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don't get me wrong, i love all the positivity around being aro, like "be proud of being aro!! love who you are!!", but we never talk about how hard it is to reach that spot. so here's to the aros who are still trying to understand themselves, who aren't proud of who they are yet, who are still coming to terms with their new identity.

#i was in serious denial about being aro for a long time like i knew the label and knew it fit but i refused to use it for several months #even after that point it took a while for me to be comfortable with the label or saying it #and this is not a bad thing!! being aro basically requires you to undo all the societal brainwashing you grew up with #and there is so much arophobia that it's hard to find positivity #i got lucky w/ this blog and the people i follow but i know i had a hard time being as proud of myself and my queerness as i am now #this doesn't even really have to be an aro statement like i think it could fit most queer experiences #sorry for the long tags haha #aro #aromantic #arospec #aromanticism #aro pride #aro positivity #aroace #aspec #1k #5k #6k #7k

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uncanny-tranny · 10 months

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It's always, like, mildly annoying when people see a het trans couple and go "all that work just to be straight?" like... one, you don't know if they're straight and two, trans people don't owe you a queer sexuality to "make up" for the fact we're trans. Transhet people aren't a subtype of trans people, they're members of the trans community, and the queer one if they so desire!

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #and i don't really vibe with the word microaggression but it's very that #like it just comes across like people think trans folks owe them queerness and cabaret preformances y'know?#and we cannot *be* if it means the way we are being isn't this carefully curated version people have of transness + queerness #and it can kind of warp your desires and understanding of yourself because you *want* community and to be seen and to be allowed to just be #this isn't universal and the 'you' is impersonal. i am aware this is a broad range of experiences and not everybody can/does relate #my overall point is that it's probably not the best move to act like this toward trans people #maybe i read too much into this but it's just something i have seen over and over and over and over . . . again #shoutout to the real ones (heterosexual and/or straight trans people or people in straight-presenting relationships 👍)#back to playing the lelda of zelda (is it bad that i don't even call her zelda anymore i just go 'THERES LELDA!!!')#it sounds wrong to call her zelda now 😭#the LEG OF ZEG. SWORD SKORD???? BREATH OF THE WEATH!! -my brain 24/7/365

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miitopia-cake · 5 months

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I wish some aces would stop excluding other aces with complex sexual experiences. like I get why but you have to realize that being ace does not mean they don't enjoy sexual experiences and it's weird when you complain about allo people and boil it down to "people who have sexual experiences" and also shame people for their sex life and kinks as if your own community doesnt INCLUDE those people. because there are other aces out there who still masturbate, who feel sexually attracted to their own body, who barely experiences sexual attraction but still enjoys sex, who like consuming sexual media, who like sfw kink. being ace is so so much more complex than just "disliking sex". and also aromantic exclusionism in the same genre of posts is something i see a lot. especially aro allos. I hate hate hate seeing a community that SHOULD be inclusive boil down sexuality and exclude people.

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alienalgae · 1 year

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reading comments under the barbie movie gifset... some people really don't understand the art of irony huh?

ryan gosling is meant to look fake and ugly asf, everything is supposed to look as weird and extra as possible, which part of it you don't get? it's not meant to be unironically pretty, you're not meant to like the aesthetic (unless you do in which case, i hear you) but you're supposed to understand the irony of a bunch of grown people and renowned actors playing plastic toys in... a musical? perhaps? in order to enjoy it, you'll have to embrace the weirdness, the exaggeration, the unreality, the eye-soaring pink, all of which are artistic devices that i KNOW are going to make this production groundbreaking. personally i expect this movie to be a diagnosis of society or some Don't Look Up shit anyway i CANNOT WAIT

#also it's really what queer culture is about #in my personal experience #barbie movie 2023 #barbie #barbie 2023 #greta gerwig #ryan gosling #margot robbie #2k23

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autismmydearwatson · 10 months

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Disney songs that hit different when you're queer

"Reflection" Mulan (specifically if you're transgender)

"I'll Make A Man Out of You" Mulan (the transmasc euphoria song)

"Jack's Lament" the Nightmare Before Christmas

"Part of Your World" the Little Mermaid

"God Help the Outcasts" the Hunchback of Notre Dame

"I'm Still Here" Treasure Planet (specifically my transmasc anthem but my experiences are not universal)

"Out There" the Hunchback of Notre Dame (when you're closeted)

"Waiting On a Miracle" Encanto (when you're queer and religious)

"One of Us" Lion King 2

"How Far I'll Go" Moana ( when the people who raised you wouldn't let you be exposed to any queer media)

"Colors of The Wind" Pocahontas (the only good thing the Pocahontas franchise brought us was the soundtrack. When my friend was closeted she said to a girl who was being blatantly homophobic " you think the only people who are people are the people that look and think like you." Stopped her in her tracks!)

"Kiss the Girl" the Little Mermaid (but specifically when. You know what I mean lmao)

"When Will My Life Begin" Tangled

"Go The Distance" Hercules

"I Won't Say I'm In Love" Hercules

"One Jump Ahead (reprise)" Aladdin

"Proud of Your Boy" Aladdin Broadway musical

"If I Never Knew You" Pocahontas

Do feel free to add. Just don't let Disney see this

#be niceys to me i know my experiences are not universal #queer #queer Disney #gay disney #disney #the hunchback of notre dame #treasure planet #the little mermaid #mulan #tangled #hercules #aladdin #encanto #the lion king 2 #moana #the nightmare before christmas

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glorious-spoon · 12 days

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"how can you ship [x] when [y] is clearly going to be canon" is such a completely nonsensical question to me that i often forget that this is genuinely how some people do fandom

#maybe it's just being old enough that all my formative fandom experiences were for media with a 0.00% chance of a queer ship going canon #idk

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nothorses · 11 months

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hot take but I think the "we're only talking about people who identify as queer when we talk about the queer community" thing was and is one of the worst arguments in defense of the word.

I am talking about you when I say "the queer community", and "queer people", and "queer studies". I'm describing a thing that a large group of people have in common, and you share that thing in common. Your individual comfort with the word doesn't change the definition of it.

I'm sorry you don't like that word. You don't ever have to call yourself that, and you don't have to like it, and I won't ever call you that if you don't want me to.

What I am going to do, however, is decide what language I use based on A) how inclusive it is, and B) how well it communicates my point to the relevant audience.

"Inclusive" here is an important criteria; this refers to the number of people who should be included, that are included, ideally without some kind of weird hierarchy (like we see in "LGBT+" and variations). The technical definition is what we're talking about here- putting personal comfort aside, could the word "queer" describe you?

There will always be someone who doesn't like a particular word for themselves- even if it could apply. Lots of people don't like "LGBT+" (I don't really), even if it technically applies to them. You're not more important than they are.

You can identify one way on a personal level, and still understand that when we're discussing the larger community of people and the histories attached to it, you're included in that- even if you don't personally identify with the specific word we're using. Your story, your voice, and your presence matters.

Y'all need to learn to distinguish "broad term for an experience I share with others" from "personal identity label I use to describe my individual experience to others". ASAP.

#queer #also because i can hear the terfs in my head:#'woman' does not include trans men because trans men are not women #functionally and fundamentally it's not the same gender experience #and the word refers to a personal gender identity #'queer' describes a common experience of being rejected from a particular group

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dragonling348 · 1 day

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I'm such a terrible person to play smash or pass with. I'll see someone and go "Oh she seems nice I would snuggle her" or "They look very kind I want to be friends with them" or "I would smash him but it really depends on the circumstances. I'd probably need a long conversation about both our wants first"

Like 100% of the time I find some third nuanced option and this is why I thought I was ace for half my life isn't it

#dragonling says shit #my queer experience #aspec #possibly

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redysetdare · 8 months

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I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

#text #personal #aro #aromantic #aroace #aspec #qpr #queerplatonic relationships #queer platonic relationships #tbh i was around when qprs were still getting footing. ppl werent sure how to properly label them #so to avoid allos saying it's just friends the common response was 'its more than friends but less than romance'#as if they were trying to justify it's existence as if we had to have a equivalent to romance to be justified in our identities and as ppl #because being aro made you not be a person. because how can you be a person if you dont love or have a partner #because being aro was sad because being aro meant ou were alone and you shouldn't want to be alone!!#and these ideas made it so that amatonormativity was just reinforced in aro spaces #and it isn't until recent years when amatonormativity started getting used top put a name to the problem #that i really saw ppl start standing up for aros who didnt partner because why are we expected to partner anyways?#shouldnt ppl be whole as they are?#and this is only my experience im not saying this happens everywhere #but this is why i think we need to have a conversation about QPRs and how they are used in aro spaces #because im not the only one who struggled through this #my experience may not be universal but my experience has happened to others #and thats worth talking about #srry im having a lot of thoughts recently

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mccoalminer · 2 years

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Alison Bechdel

#alison Bechdel #dykes to watch out for #ive been thinking about this image a lot partly because that right there is what we like to call a shared experience #but also because of the god damn gender of this dyke in particular #dtwof holds a special place in my heart because as a comic strip about queer/butch experiences it feels like a rare insight into how wlw #felt in the 80s-00s and especially over that progression. its not about traumaposting or sending a message #it was just dykes going and not to play into a cliche here but i think thats beautiful #just lesbians living their lives #i always think of it like if the f.r.i.e.n.d.s. cast was replaced by a group of gay ppl living politically charged lives #only without making the gay ppl the butt of the joke lol #ive forgotten what i was trying to sau with these tags but basically these two lil panels feel like a lot like home to me #gender #oh no i used the dreaded quotation marks in my tags and it has ruined the order of the tags #the 8th tag was supposed to say something like 'its just dykes going 'this reminds me of a dyke i know' ...'#7th tag not 8th i cant count #the point is #i tried

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trans-androgyne · 4 months

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Well if your pronouns include “he” now, don’t you know you don’t need safe spaces? After all they give you full gender rights under misogyny, and you’re suddenly more likely to be violent sexual and queerphobic. I’m just affirming your gender after all, so I can’t be transphobic /s

#my favorite part of being transmasculine is the way the world is definitely safer for me than before :)#even though I now just have to deal with transphobia otherness and my safe spaces evaporating on top of the regular misogyny I experience #transandrophobia #transphobia #queer masculinity #androphobia #mine

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chaosandwolves · 16 days

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There was always this frantic quality to Buck's relationships

With Abby it was.. I need to be a better man, I need to be the bigger person, I need to be understanding

With Ali it was ... I need to change something

With Taylor it was... I have to make it work

With Natalia it was... I need to be quick with this cause who knows if I'm running out of time/I need to use the lightning strike as a wake up call

And then there is Tommy

Tommy who makes the first step but then lets him breathe through it for a moment

Tommy who asks HIM out

Tommy who cares that Buck doesn't do anything he's not ready for

Yes, Buck is a little frantic with the date but

Tommy gives him room and grace and understanding

And then the coffee date!!!

For the first time we see Buck AT EASE looking at a romantic connection with someone

Is he still Buck, and moves a little head over heels? Of course he is!

But it's not cause he's desperate

It's cause he's EXCITED

He's filled with so much joy and excitement

and for the first time he has no outlined plan with a relationship, no map he's following

Instead he allows himself to discover and explore this relationship and this part of himself

He's so excited about it

So free and bright and content with it

Tommy really stopped that hamster wheel and showed him a new way and

Buck is guided by that inner light of his now, without trying to direct it

And he's not looking for what's missing, what's wrong or following a plan

He just lets himself be and experience and explore and discover

And just

The sheer joy and ease of it all

I can't!

Go, Evan, go and spread your wings and explore that joy

You deserve it so much

😭😭😭😭

#evan buckley #Bi Buck #BuckTommy #tommy kinard #911 abc #Like my heart is so full #It's the joy and excitement of it all #And it's not only about the QUEER joy he's experiencing but just #His personal one that is very much connected to his queerness but it feels like he's unlocked another path to it #cause this part of him is now there and he can experience this relationship as his full self #I'm just #My heart is so full

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