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astrolovecosmos · 3 years

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Neptune: Deep Dive

Pink petals

fallen onto

night shaded

waters.

Nothing is ever as it seems.

Wood turned to metal.

Reality turned to dreams.

-Natasha Reeves

The planet Neptune I think is most famous for two things - illusions and dreamy or ethereal associations. A lot of negativity is also commonly associated such as addiction, insanity, guilt, sorrow, denial, and doubt. This planet is complex and just like all the other planets has a huge array of associations. What prompted me to do a deep dive in Neptune? Well for one I’ve been going through the transit of Neptune in Pisces crossing over my IC which has been powerful and I am at the end of my progressed Moon in the 12th House. Also in my own chart I’ve been paying more attention to my natal Neptune placements... which are a lot more prominent and worthy of my attention than I’ve understood and noticed in the past. Honestly I spend a lot more time analyzing others’ charts vs. my own, and I really should have looked more closely at some of my own aspects. I have had a LOT of experience with Pisces influences throughout my life, intense ones. I want to make it clear that Pisces DOES NOT = Neptune. I’ve always wanted to write a whole essay about my experience as a Pisces friend, lover, family member, enemy, etc. An outsiders opinion but that isn’t this. This is a disclaimer because this is going to be both theory and my own experiences. This is a deep dive.

The Sea’s Love and Wrath

Neptune in a lot of mainstream media is described as gentle but this planet can be unpredictable and harsh, with erratic energy that could rival Uranus. Neptune can be about tolerance and kindness, seeing past the ego and material. Neptune can embody or promote unconditional love and forgiveness. Because Neptune can be about dissolving and merging this planet allows us to see ourselves in others, maybe even in everyone allowing for compassion, empathy, and the ability to love very freely and openly. But the illusion and deception of Neptune is its shadow.

Romanticizing and idealizing can be one of Neptune’s downfalls. Many times this is described as putting other’s on a pedestal but this can be applied to any area of life from work to places to ideals. From this those with strong Neptune aspects or prominent placements can find that disappointment is a frequent visitor. Neptune square, opposite, or conjunct Venus can quickly fall for others, trust others, and gravitates towards those they want to help or who have a strong personality they can meld with. Neptune opposite or square Mercury may face the frustration and disappointment of frequently being misunderstood or finding that they easily misread others or trust their words. After feeling tricked there can be wrath to these oceanic bodies.

Where will their vengeance or anger land? It isn’t fair if they idolize you to get mad at you... sometimes their anger is self-loathing and self-destructive, other times they take you down with them. But the lesson is that Neptune can be as soft and as dangerous as the sea.

Enlightenment and Madness

Coming down from the high, was getting lost in Neptune’s blue. Dreams and visions dancing in the back of my mind, when reality is so hard to chew. Sensation used to distract and pieces of stories stitched together to where nothing is fact.- Natasha Reeves

There are many influences that can grant us wisdom or enlightenment throughout astrology, but I don’t see too many writings or posts about Neptune and its connection to enlightenment, nirvana, or eurekas and on the flipside also insanity and denial. Neptune can pull away the fog to give us clarity - especially when looking at the whole of things, the big picture. Neptune can famously also be the fog.

The transit of Neptune crossing over my IC/4th House brought a lot of light to my childhood and how I was raised. However my IC is in Pisces, while Pisces isn’t the same as the planet, and many astrologers believe Neptune is not the ruling planet of Pisces - it is a sign known for illusions, confusion, and vagueness much like Neptune. I came from a place of a lot of secretiveness and vagueness, but when the “planet of illusions” crossed over I found myself accepting the instability and moments I felt lost or clueless in my life as well as looking back with remembering and understanding.

Neptune can represent the part of us that is hard to grasp and understand, it also faces us with the idea that it is okay to have unanswered questions, to not have closure, that many times we have to create that closure or solidity ourselves. Neptune much like Jupiter is a matter of faith whether in ourselves or a higher power.

It should be noted Neptune doesn’t always mean outside sources. Neptune is an introverted, intimate actor. It can represent how we lie to ourselves, trick ourselves, or how we push responsibility off of ourselves. Neptune also allows us to see, understand, more importantly feel what we easily ignore or can’t see.

Life’s Extremes - Our Extremes

“Neptune moves between the greatest extremes: from the highest spiritual awareness through imagination, fantasy, and illusion, to the depths of deceptions and disillusionment. The planet of mysticism, glamour, and enchantment, Neptune exerts a hypotonic fascination.” - Judy Hall.

When many think of extremes they probably think Pluto before Neptune. The blue sphere isn’t going to take away the icy orb’s reputation - Pluto holds tightly in terms of extremes, but Neptune is far from a level-headed, consistent influence. Let’s touch on fantasy and illusion - two things that tends to warn of foolishness or impracticality, but fantasy is part of everyone’s life, no matter how pragmatic or mature an individual claims to be. From coping to manifesting to understanding to enjoying, fantasy is a natural human thing. Think of how often you daydream in an hour, how many books, movies, and games you indulge in, how often you find yourself being tempted by gossip, and how often you find yourself painting a picture of another in your head - negative or positive.

Neptune symbolizes the abstract, importance, and rawness of our fantasies. Individuals with prominent Neptune aspects can find themselves easily tapping into their imagination, falling into escapism frequently, or have a great use for their wild ideas. If you think of the subject of fantasies or illusion as an extreme - it makes sense. You aren’t going to get an interesting story without the gods and monsters. Our sleeping dreams often are filled with strangeness or strong emotions. Clarity to madness, hopeless romantic highs to deeply wounded sorrows, and dissolving/surrendering to becoming whole/complete are common extremes this planet centers around.

I have Mercury Square Neptune which tends to make one doubtful of their own opinions and intellect, can increase misunderstandings, and make communication difficult for the individual. Mercury Square Neptune can make someone highly persuasive and deceptive but it can also make one easily confused, tricked, and manipulated by others. Rationality and intuition can conflict. One experience I have with this aspect is usually swinging from extremes to being very withdrawn and quiet to interrupting others, chatting away. I’ve been described by those in my life as always saying something they didn’t expect - few words but impactful or strange ones. This is an example of the more everyday way Neptune can present itself.

“Neptune-attuned people possess glamour in the old sense of the word: the ability to bewitch. They are also impossible to categorize or pin down, demonstrating the planet’s elusive quality. Lacking strong boundaries, Neptune-attuned people are susceptible to outside influences.” - Judy Hall. It is from these lack of boundaries and fluidness we see Neptune’s extremeness. Neptune aspects can have us take on the traits of others and there is intensity in that. Let’s say we are talking about a Neptune to Mercury aspect, here may be someone who is easily energized or put down by the mood of another. Neptune to Mars can create a volatile person who fights, guards, and pursues based on their inner circle.

Alice: Imagination and Dreams

Personally I tend to associate Alice in Wonderland with Gemini themes. But I’ve seen her used as a metaphor for many placements and influences, such as Scorpio and Pluto. Neptune’s lostness certainly relates to the character and story. Neptune can be the planet of dreams. Challenging aspects to Saturn indicates someone who struggles to get in touch with reality while easy aspects to Saturn indicates someone who can marry big dreams or imagination to practicality.

Neptune to Moon aspects can indicate powerful dreaming - almost intuitive or helpful in processing stress or trauma. So does Neptune in the 12th, 4th, 8th, and possibly 9th. Neptune in the 2nd can mean imagination or even dreams themselves act as a resource, maybe this is through inspiration or increasing one’s belief or confidence. Neptune in the 3rd may find themselves always remembering their dreams and keeping a journal. Neptune in the 5th blessed with all of the fun dreams of flying or dreaming of a favorite fictional character. Neptune in the 6th or 10th may find strikes of inspiration, knowledge, problem solving, or important foresight in their sleep. Neptune in the 11th may find comfort or realize important information about self and/or society in their dreams.

Neptune is a newer planet, many times called the visionary, healer, or spiritual link or messenger. Traditional astrologers can approach the planet with a lot of skepticism. Its exaltation is in creative Leo, detriment in practical Virgo, and fall in usually praised as “visionary” Aquarius. Neptune is still new enough to be a hot topic of debate. You will find many astrologers don’t even agree on the planet’s exaltation, fall, and detriment. Leo is considered one of the most creative sign and on the topic of imagination and dreams Neptune can feel amazing in this sign. It feels confident and shinning in its ideas, fantasies, and magic. Elusive and ever-changing Neptune doesn’t feel comfortable in stable and structured Virgo. But Aquarius is an unexpected challenge for Neptune. Aquarius is about collective action - unity that Neptune also is familiar with. But Aquarius is a cold sign and despite its unconventional side can be highly practical and may dislike unrealistic ideas or approaches. Saturn is Aquarius’s co-ruler after all. Neptune wants oneness as in intimacy, not oneness in action or rebellion like Aquarius. Neptune is the magical moonlit spring to heal all your wounds, especially the emotional and spiritual kind. Aquarius is the soul forge in Asgard from Thor: The Dark World or the hypospray in Star Trek. Aquarius is modern medicine most of the time and when Neptune is dressed in Aquarius’s colors at its best it is advanced medicine we don’t understand yet but are working towards. Neptune in Aquarius can be a genius, but it is about ambitious realism to help others, Neptune at its heart is about helping the individual on the most personal level. Aquarius is random strikes of lightning coming from an active mind while Neptune flows from one spot to another, always connected and coming from an original primal, emotional place. Aquarius is the future, Neptune is outside of time. Aquarius is intellect and Neptune emotions and intuition. Aquarius is rebellion, riot, revolution, Neptune is peace or death and rebirth - Aquarius is the noise and Neptune the silence.

Some believe Neptune’s fall is in Capricorn, which the struggles exist with Capricorn’s strictness and clinging to reality and control. Neptune in Leo is Alice looking regal like a queen or warrior going to fight the jabberwock, Neptune in Virgo can get dark, feeling uncomfortable and maybe in pain, but still important and empowering. Alice in Aquarius or Capricorn is likely a totally new story, adult Alice putting away the tea parties and white rabbits for a lab coat or pantsuit.

What about Healing and the Spiritual?

Let’s get to what Neptune may be most known for. That otherworldly connection, the power of love, transcendence. Neptune is dramatic and it is soothing. Neptune embraces all aspects of the human experience so we can focus more on the soul. Neptune is all about healing and how healing can come in a million ways. It can be fast and hard or slow and revealing. It is painful and messy, it goes in cycles, loops, falls and rises.

Neptune whether the aspects are easy or challenging, whether in a house focused on the self or others, it gives everyone ways to heal and to connect. As an outer planet it gives a lot of insight into generations but in the unique placement of one’s chart it touches us with humanity.

Pretty speeches, enchanting metaphors, crazy nights, and charming lovers lead us to our doom and a raw poem, crying ourselves to sleep, old medicine, late night graveyard walks, and maybe a rebound help us pick up the pieces. Neptune many times shows us that the unexpected is what tears us down and what lifts us back up. It teaches us nothing is inherently bad like substances, manipulation, honesty, authority, it is how it is used. Neptune shows us that you are the hero to some and the villain to others.

Regret, shame, guilt, feeling trapped, isolation, addiction, grief, and sorrow are closely linked to Neptune. I believe many times this is due to the healing process or spiritual associations of the planet. These emotions are heavy and life-changing but they are emotions that many times need to be faced with a lot of bravery and work. They are feelings that also help us come to realizations. Neptune is associated with rebirth and if you examine emotions like regret or shame, sometimes rebirth is the only way you can shed those feelings. Neptune’s fluid nature also allows us acceptance, which is needed to deal with such heavy emotions.

While we always talk about the lack of boundaries as a dangerous or bad thing... and it can be, these lack of boundaries like I mentioned above can allow for a very giving love and empathy, it also allows us to feel or interact with a higher power, magic, and the spiritual. Whatever your beat is - religion, magic, or the belief we are just star stuff, Neptune symbolizes our relationship with it.

#neptune #planet #astrology #zodiac #learn astrology

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cinnamonest · 3 years

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which yan do you think would react the best and worst at a darling who just tries to make themselves smaller? like in the sense of they’re kind of listless and tend to either give simple answers to their yan or none at all. just tends to avoid doing anything out of fear of getting punished.

Oof that's a good question I like this one

Three best, I'm gonna say Zhongli, Diluc, and Venti

Three who would be pretty bad, probably Xiao, Xingqiu, and, hear me out, Bennett.

It's also worth discussing Scara and Razor here bc they're kinda unique cases, also a Childe/Kaeya bc their reaction would be more or less the same

====================

The thing with Zhongli is he has supreme patience and knows that these things take time, you know? So like, it doesn't bother him too much at first. What's a year when you've liked like, thousands of them? So while with most yans you run into the issue of impatience, that's not an issue with him, especially if there's a way to make darling immortal. He won't force anything, he won't push you to do things you're uncomfortable with. He'll just isolate you. If you want to be away from him, well, that's fine, you can enjoy being completely an entirely alone. Eventually, you will give in, and you will realize that your silent streak and cowering only makes you more miserable, and when that day comes, you'll come running to him. Diluc would have some issues, but the good thing about him is that he's sorta good at giving space and he's very good with silence. He wouldn't solve the problem, but he'd kinda... effectively avoid it, because he's a man of few words, and he's ok with you not having many words either. He can just kinda live silently, and be ok with that, he might not even realize there's a problem because he himself is so used to being reclusive and quiet. Cowering is a different issue. Even though he's one of the better ones overall, he is still the worst out of these three, because although he would make an attempt to deal with it gently and patiently, his patience will eventually run out, and he'd get more irritated and force physical interaction. Venti would work things out to the best of his ability. He tries to even hide his hurt for a while because he doesn't want you to feel bad, tries to keep a smile on and make the best of things, but it does wear him down eventually. But he really tries hard in the beginning to act like it doesn't even bother him, like he doesn't notice, his logic is that maybe if he keeps a smile and acts like it's all fine, then you will come around. Of course, as time goes on, it falters, and he becomes a lot more depressed about it all. Now the three worst. The thing with Xiao is that he doesn't know how to handle it, which, to be fair, is true of him for a lot of situations. He's easily frustrated and doesn't know how to go about anything in a gentle, normal way - his world is one in which physical violence solves all of his problems and he doesn't know any other way of making people do what he wants. He likes his darling talking -- he can take some nice silent times, but unlike Diluc, he can't handle it all the time. He gets frustrated and well, he resorts to that one thing he knows -- violence. And it works, so it's just positive reinforcement when you respond.

Xingqiu's just... kinda a brat. A lot of mature yanderes prioritize what makes the relationship between them and darling better, they think about the long run, or the more selfish manipulative ones work towards what works out in their best interests in the long run, which often means sacrificing or doing things they don't enjoy in the here and now. Xingqiu, however, has a strong immature streak, his focus is on getting what he wants and getting it now without a lot of thought about the bigger picture. So while he's not one to physically hurt his darling too much, he's willing to do a lot more in terms of being difficult to deal with because he doesn't really consider that he's just making the problem worse long-term, his focus is on what he wants in the moment.

Now, Bennett probably seems like an odd choice because he's a mild yandere, but he can be, without even realizing it, so manipulative with pity and guilt that he'll more or less force you into a state where you either are forced to talk to him more, or live with feeling like a monster. He's one that never really lets you out of his presence, and is a master of pity-fishing. So that guilt and pressure is constant -- the sad puppy eyes, the soft hurt voice, and especially the self-deprecating comments and apologizing. In the end he kinda unintentionally psychologically forces you into talking to him and being with him because otherwise you literally cannot escape the emotional, psychological pressure of it. Being talkative and accepting him is better than dealing with the emotions. And to be fair, he'd probably choose a darling that he knows is sensitive to that sort of thing, and will take pity on him like he wants.

Unique cases. Razor is a mix because he can tolerate wordlessness better than anyone, after all, he spends most of his life not using words. Once you actually come to the point of living with him, he too resorts back to his natural state and stops using words as much, communicating with a lot of grunts and gestures. But if you won't communicate at all? Razor's problem is similar to Xiao -- most of his problems can be solved by killing it or maiming it. His mind is fairly simple. He gets almost conditioned to it, begins to become habitual and so he just asks a question while holding your arm or hand -- not in affection, but a subtle threat. He's got his usual thing going on where it's not malicious, not mean-spirited, like most would be, he just kinda... does what works.

Scaramouche is... temperamental. See, sometimes he's fine with it. He gets a powerful feeling from other people's fear. So really? The cowering is fine by him. ... Well, he says it is, but deep down it does bother him a bit, not that he'll ever let himself dwell on it or let it show. The communication is a different issue. Especially if he's talking to you, he expects a response back, and will bark at you to be louder because talking quietly is insulting to him. Of course, he'd get mad at you for talking too loudly too, but, well, you get the idea. That's the issue -- for a timid darling, you just never really find respite because he likes having something to get mad over, really, he likes having an excuse to punish you so he'll intentionally find problems in your behavior no matter how you behave.

Childe and Kaeya both would be really, really bad, because that would be like, the worst thing for both of them and drives them up the wall, they’re both talkative people and feeling ignored is a blow to their pride. So both would get physical about forcing you to talk back to them, although Childe is notably more patient and will do things like starve you or isolate you until you’re willing to talk, whereas Kaeya, as a less patient person, would be more about physical pain right then and there. Both will condition you to talking to them pretty quickly out of fear of consequence. Childe likes to smother you with physical affection, so cowering isn’t going to do you much good, he’ll just pick you up and hold you no matter how much you squirm. Kaeya less so, but he still suffocates you with his presence all the time.

#lena's asks #atml

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usedtobe-angstyoikawa · 3 years

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Ghost

Oikawa Tooru x gn!reader

Summary: you watch the love of your life fade away and turn into his worst habits.

Warnings: angst :(

Word count: 1441

a/n: this wasn’t proofread sorry

Songs I listened to while writing this: protocol, ghost of you, dancing with your ghost, remember that night, heal, to be so lonely, lonely as love, because I had you, end like this, younger, hold on

———————————————————————

Oikawa is a very stubborn man, almost childish. He’d constantly overwork and push himself to extremes his body and mind couldn’t handle. You fell in love with his determination and consistency, finding it attractive how capable he was of getting what he wanted. It took you a while to realize those characteristics, which people usually liked to point out as gifts or blessings, were actually his weaknesses.

You knew very well when you chose to love this man that you’d also have to accept the worst parts of him. You thought you’d be able to change him for good and make him see that by hurting himself he was also hurting his loved ones. But things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.

You walk around what used to be your shared apartment with Tooru, memories of good times and soft laughs flood your mind.

Strong arms wrap around your figure and you smile widely.

“Hey love, I’ve missed you” he whispers in your ear and kisses your cheek.

“You were gone only two hours Ruu” you say trying to annoy him.

“Oh I see so you didn’t miss me?” you shake your head no, playfully, and a smirk makes its way to your boyfriend’s lips. “You’re being mean, you know what happens to mean people?” you know exactly what he’s going to do, but decide to play dumb.

“Mhm, not really. I always get away with it no problem” you look him straight in the eyes, challenging him. And without any warning he starts tickling you and kissing your face, his strong self arms holding you so tight there was no way you could escape.

Those were the arms of your lover, your friend, they kept you warm and safe every night. Well, almost every night. The sweet memory turns bitter and harsh words fill your head.

“You are late, again.” you say while finishing off with your dirty dishes. “This is the fourth time this week, you know I don’t like eating on my own.” you look up to meet his eyes but his not even facing you. You watch him pour himself a glass of water and leave the kitchen, probably to go get a shower. “You know you won’t get kicked out of the team if you stay home just once, right?” you raise your voice, making sure he hears the hurt in your voice.

He turns around and takes a few steps back till he’s resting his shoulder against the kitchen door frame. Icy glare staring you down.

“But you will?” he’s mad, probably had a bad day, maybe something to do with that goddamned knee of his. Doesn’t matter what it is, you still won’t tolerate his attitude.

“If you keep ditching me for volleyball I might” that’s not entirely true, but you can’t stop the words from leaving your mouth.

“Oh please, you don’t want to make me choose, believe me” and with that he turns around and heads to the bathroom.

Warm tears slip past your cheeks, the same cheeks he used to kiss and caress. It’s hard not to miss him, after all he was a charming idiot who was just too lost in his own ambitions. Always putting his passion over love, but making it up to you with gifts and longing stares.

As soon as you step inside your apartment the smell of vanilla reaches your nostrils. The lights are low and you notice rose petals spattered on the floor. Oikawa. You follow the red path till you reach the bathroom and your jaw drops. In front of you is your boyfriend careful lying placing lit candles near the bathtub, which is filled with water and bubbles.

“Oh shit you’re here already, give me a second I’m almost finish” he says once he notices you standing by the door. He goes up to you and gives you a soft peck on the lips. “You can start undressing it’ll only take me a minute. Unless you want me to take care of that too” he teases you.

Once he’s done and you’re finally enjoying the warm bath, he stays next to you and hands you a glass of white wine. You know this is his way of apologizing for not spending enough time with you, and even though you don’t want to give in that easily it’s hard not to when he’s being so sweet. The music playing in the background is slow and makes you feel sleepy. You turn your head to look at Oikawa, wanting to admire his pretty boy features. But his eyes are already on you. His resting his chin against the palm of his hand while his brown orbs scan your face, taking you all in. He stops to stare at your lips for a second, and then moves up to your eyes. Neither of you say a word, there’s no need to. Most people think te prettiest eye colors are blue or green, grey being the most intimidating and hazel the cutest. If that is true, then brown eyes have to be the most intense, you think. Or maybe it’s not the eye color but the boy behind them, piercing through your soul and giving you butterflies. He smiles at you and let’s out a long sigh, never once breaking eye contact. It feels so intimate, he’s undressing your heart and caressing it with his soft fingertips.

That smooth motherfucker. You still have some of those rose petals decorating your living room table, probably won’t ever be able to throw them away. Your heart aches but you know you made the right choice.

“It’s not my fault you have the need to play the hero every time I do something wrong. I’m an adult, I know how to take care of myself” his voice is deep and rough.

“I’m not playing the hero, I just want you to rest and give yourself a break. You say you can take it but I know you can’t, that doesn’t make you weak it only makes you human” you try to talk some sense into him, he’s been overworking himself even though he shouldn’t because of his knee injury. Apparently, not even his teammates could stop him from hurting himself.

“ I am not a child! You say you’re trying to help me but you’re acting just like the rest of them. I thought you understood me, but how could you when the only thing you’re good at is getting on my nerves. And you think you can come to me with your puppy eyes and pretty smile, making me feel guilty for not spending time with you, you should know I don’t have time for that!” his words cut like daggers through your skin “You knew volleyball was important to me when you first met me, so don’t play the victim.”

“Toruu, the only victim here is you, you’re victim of your own thoughts and words. If you keep up with this whole burned out gifted kid act you’re not only gonna loose yourself but also the people you care about.” it was during fights like these that you asked yourself if staying was the right choice, but you couldn’t leave him when he was like this “ I know you want to be the best of the best, but this is not the right way to do it. How are you planning on playing volleyball with a fucked up knee? “ shit.

“The only fucked up thing here is this relationship”

The sound of the doorbell shakes you out of your thoughts and you make your way towards the door.

“Hi... I’m here to pick up what’s left of my stuff. If you still have ent thrown it away that is” he’s staring at the ground, hands in his pockets and a backpack hangin from his shoulders. He looks tired and a little gloomy. At first you don’t really understand what’s going on, but then you remember the box in your room, sitting at the top left shelf. He was supposed to pick it up a week before, but of course he was busy training.

“Yeah sure, come in I’ll get it for you.” you let open up the door and he steps inside, eyes still glued to the floor, and you tell him to sit in the sofa.

You return to the living room, box in hands, and you find him staring at the rose petals placed on the coffee table. None of you comment on it. He takes his things and leaves your place with a sad goodbye, locking your eyes one last time.

#haikyuu!!#oikawa toru x reader #oikawa torū #oikawa angst #angst #fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu boys

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angellesword · 3 years

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YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (11)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, ANGST, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

SERIES: CHAPTER 10 | CHAPTER 12

"You don't have to pay me, Guk."

Jeongguk shook his head instantly. Yoongi was being absurd. How could he not pay his older friend?

"I know you have the money, but I can't just take ten thousand dollars from you, hyung." The younger boy pouted his lips.

Yoongi should know by now that Jeongguk hated owing people something.

Debt of gratitude sucked. It couldn't be paid. Ever. Jeongguk didn't want that. He hated sleeping at night thinking that someone out there could manipulate his feelings—this was how he perceived debt of gratitude: a manipulation. It was because he felt like he was bound please the person who helped him. It was as though he needed to act in accordance to the likes of said person.

"Fine." Yoongi shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care about any of this. "Pay me whenever you want,"

Jeongguk snorted as your voice echoed inside his head. If you were here, you would tell Yoongi that he couldn't just tell his debtor to pay him whenever he wanted. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Civil obligations like this one was only enforceable for ten years. If Jeongguk couldn't pay within the said period, the obligation would then become a natural one—something that would only be paid out of conscience.

Jeongguk shook his head. Why was he thinking about the stupid law? Why couldn't he stop imagining your pretty smile as you talked about certain provisions? Why was he hesitating to accept his hyung's money?

And most importantly, why didn't he want to leave you now?

Your soulmate loaned thousands of dollars from Yoongi just so he could pay the down payment for the apartment that he wanted buy. He promised himself that he would terminate the lease of contract with you after four months. He just couldn't live with you anymore.

You were supposed to be temporary in his life; however, with the way you were invading his mind even though you weren't around, Jeongguk realized that you were his constant.

You were the only person who could tolerate his bratty attitude. You were the only person who couldn't get mad at him. You were the only person who made him feel special and needy—Jeon Jeongguk needed your attention so much that he felt like had to run.

He didn't know when it started, especially because he believed he was not over Red yet.

Red.

Was Red the reason why Jeongguk wanted to leave you?

This was what you thought while clutching the paper on your chest.

It hurt, but as usual you had to pretend like you were okay.

"Your parents are back in their hotel," said by Jeongguk the moment he entered your apartment.

He was back from the thirty-minute drive.

Your parents were scheduled to fly to Jeju Island tomorrow morning.

"That's good." You discreetly wiped your tears away, trying so hard to make your tone sound enthusiastic.

Your back was facing him since you were afraid to let him see you crying.

You didn't want to pester Jeongguk regarding his plan to leave. You felt like he wouldn't appreciate the drama you would obviously bring.

Jeongguk didn't deserve drama—not when it was clear that he was exhausted. He took care of you these past weeks. The only thing you could do was to give him a damn break even if it meant sleepless night as questions like 'why am I not enough?' clouded your mind.

"Thanks, Jeongguk. Goodnight!" You hastily added, refusing to look at him as you made your way to your room.

"Wait," he stopped you like the way he did earlier today. This time, however, he stopped you by breaking your heart even more.

"C-Can I sleep in your room tonight?" Jeongguk swallowed the lump in his throat; his heart was beating so fast.

You flinched.

How dare he ask something so insensitive?

"Why?" Your lips trembled as you finally found the courage to look at him. It was a wrong move, though. You couldn't do it. You couldn't look at him without tears filling your eyes.

Looking at Jeon Jeongguk made you realize what you could never have: him.

You were grateful he's averting your gaze. Jeongguk couldn't meet your eyes as well. He was embarrassed and afraid. What if you rejected him? He didn't have any reason to cuddle with you tonight. Jimin was right. Your parents were the solution to help you get back on your feet. It was as though they had some kind of power. You didn't look like you needed your soulmate to make you feel better anymore.

You were back to your old self.

Sadly Jeongguk had no idea that you were just pretending. He didn't know that you were forced to be okay once again. He wasn't even aware that he was one of the reasons why you're acting like everything was fine.

"I just want to make sure you're alright," his voice was barely audible.

Jeon Jeongguk was a liar. The truth was you weren't the only one getting used to cuddling with each other. Jeongguk was also craving to embrace you—to listen to your controlled breathing and raging heartbeat.

"Really?" You suddenly huffed, causing Jeongguk to flick his gaze at you.

Your soulmate was a good liar, you were not.

There's a point where pain was too much to handle.

Jeongguk was staring at you with puzzled expression. His mouth went agape upon seeing the tears streaming down your face.

"You want to make sure I'm okay so you can finally leave?"

"What?" He furrowed his brow, clearly not understanding the words you just said. How could he focus on anything when all he could see was your tears?

Jeongguk wanted to wipe your stupid tears, but you weren't letting him.

You took three steps backwards when he tried to reach for your face.

Anger, frustration, and pain. All of these are visible in your eyes. Your thoughts were poisoning your mind—making you imagine what you thought Jeongguk felt.

"You...called my parents b'cause you're t-tired of me, right?" You slurred.

You wanted to run to your room since you knew you couldn't stop speaking your thoughts anymore. This wasn't right. You told yourself you weren't going to make this hard for your soulmate, so why couldn't he do the same thing for you?

Why was he cornering you? Why couldn't he just go away?

And why couldn't you stop the venom in your words?

"You don't want to deal with me anymore. You want to leave but you're guilty. You feel like you are responsible for my pain," this must be it. You kept thinking what triggered his sudden change of behavior. It couldn't be because he finally realized that he liked you too.

No. That couldn't be right. The only plausible explanation for this was because of the guilt he felt. He only started to act like he cared when you told him that he hurt you too.

"That's not true..." But Jeongguk was quick to dismiss the negative thoughts inside your head.

You inhaled deeply. Fresh tears stained your cheeks.

"What's the truth, then?" You picked up the paper that would prove his intention to leave.

It was too late to stop now. You were already acting pathetic in front of him.

"Why didn't you tell me you bought an apartment?" You continued to ask despite knowing the reason.

You didn't. You were imagining things. What you think was different from what Jeongguk felt. Admittedly, his eyes widened. He wasn't expecting you to confront him about this. Hell. You weren't even supposed to find out this way.

Jeongguk was planning to simply sign the contract to terminate your lease agreement with him, leave your apartment in the middle of the night and never come back.

Guess he couldn't do it now, huh?

"I-I," he trailed off instantly. How could he explain this to you when he himself didn't know why he wanted to leave?

Jeongguk wished it was easy to face his emotions. He identified them, but he still didn't know what to do—not even after spending weeks cuddling with you.

He needed to be alone, he needed to figure out what he felt and what this all meant to him on his own.

"Is it me, Gukkie?" You sobbed and your soulmate's heart clenched.

Your back was against the wall, Jeongguk was standing so close to you to the point that he could literally see the tears forming in your eyes.

It broke him more.

"Did I cross the line? Am I being too pushy? Annoying? Hard do deal with?"

Jeongguk could only bite his bottom lip.

You proceeded to list the things your former maids despised about you.

"Is Miri too much too handle? Am I picky with the food? Is it hard to wake me up in the morning?"

Jeongguk avoided your eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

You noticed that he couldn't speak. Why? Was it difficult to admit the truth?

"Or am I not buying you enough things?"

The conflicted boy shook his head vigorously. You did not understand anything.

"Do you need a new laptop? New clothes? Art materials?" You sounded so desperate. "Tell me, Gukkie. I'll do anything you want."

"I don't need you to do anything." He said coldly as he moved away from you.

Pain attacked your chest when you saw indifference dancing in his face.

"You're still leaving me?" You quivered in fear. You were really pathetic. You said to yourself that you wanted him to go away, but the thought of him actually leaving made your stomach turn upside down.

"Yes."

It felt like an arrow shot you in the heart.

How could he not stutter? Was he really decided to leave you?

Jeongguk saw how his answer affected you, so he immediately defended himself.

"I mean it's about right. I told you I'm gonna stay here for a few months. It's over now. I don't want to be your tenant anymore."

"But why!" You whined. This wasn't fair! How could he decide without consulting you first? This was a reciprocal obligation. You deserved to know his reasons.

Jeongguk scowled. He wanted to leave now. It was getting unbearable to see you cry—it was as though his chest was going to explode.

"Do I really need a reason?" His frown deepened. "Can't I just leave because I don't want to be with you anymore?" A lie.

"You're lying." You refused to believe him even if you knew he was telling the truth. This wasn't you. You weren't like this. It was unlike of you to keep pushing Jeongguk. You teased him all the time, but you didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. His happiness was your top priority.

You swore you just wanted to know the truth. You deserved a reasonable explanation. He couldn't just say he didn't want to be with you. If he couldn't love you, then he should at least be able to respect you like a normal person.

"Why would I lie—"

"Because I'm your soulmate!" You cut him off. Your emotions were overflowing.

Why couldn't you just let him go?

"And I love you, Jeongguk." You cried. The table had turned. Just a few breaths ago, he was the one begging to touch you. Right now, however, it was you who was desperately trying to latch on him.

Jeongguk pushed your hand away. He couldn't have you touching him. It would only make it harder for him to leave.

"I love you so please don't leave me—"

"You don't." He cut you off, flinching so hard because of how much he hated your confession. He felt like he was gonna puke.

"I do, Guk. I love you—"

"No!" Jeongguk insisted otherwise. He was being stubborn and it was irritating you.

Who did he think he was to tell you what you felt?

"You don't love me, okay!? You are wrong in all of this!" He took a step back. He was acting as if your touch was going to burn him.

"You are delusional. Too caught up with the idea of soulmate that you failed to see the truth!"

Jeongguk was shaking in frustration. He hated that he had to be mean just to make you understand things—similar to what Red did.

"I can see the truth! I know the truth!" You carried on.

He was the one being blinded here, not you.

"You're just ignoring the signs, Jeongguk. The universe wants us to be together!"

This wasn't a coincidence. You couldn't be wrong—not when he could see colors because of the love you felt for him.

But he used this against you.

"I am not your soulmate." His jaw clenched. "Your eyes can tell."

You stopped breathing.

"Your eyes tell." He repeated.

Your mouth felt dry.

It felt like you had been stabbed straight in the heart.

If he was your soulmate, if he ever loved you—or cared, you would see colors by now.

But no.

You still see in black and white.

Your eyes would not lie because Jeon Jeongguk was right....

Your Eyes Tell.

#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #ficswithluv #jungkook enemies to lovers #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #bts fic #jungkook roommate au #jungkook fantasy au #jungkook e2l #jungkook friends to lovers #jungkook soulmate #jungkook soulmate au #your eyes tell #jungkook your eyes tell #jungkook sugar baby au #jeon jungkook

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sassycassie-s-writing · 3 years

Text

Mountain Night

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): A Court of Thorns and Roses Series/Rhysand

Rating: PG-13/T (lots of implications but nothing explicit)

Original Idea: Just kinda skimming back through ACOTAR and felt like it.

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) This has a couple extra headcanons of mine sprinkled in here, just to fill in gaps. Thanks. Enjoy!

^^^^^

I stood in front of the fireplace next to Rhysand, watching the flames. Somewhere within the Mountain, a bell tolled eight, agreeing with the clock on Rhys’ mantel. Rhys’ shoulders slumped. “Amarantha’s gonna be summoning me any time now,” he said. Dejected, exhausted. But not defeated.

I reached out and held him. “Not much longer now. The forty-nine years of Tamlin’s curse are almost over. Then… then we’ll see if we can break the spell on you and the other High Lords and get out of here,” I said into his shoulder. I traced my fingertips over his shoulder blades, where his wings met his back when he had them out. Amarantha didn’t even know he had wings—and he wanted to keep it that way.

“We can only pray,” he said, wrapping his own arms around me.

The mating bond thrummed between us. Neither of us had accepted it. Acted on it. If we did, Amarantha would smell it on us. Destroy me for what I meant to Rhys, just to torment him. It drove us both mad—wild, occasionally—but we’d fought it for years. We could fight it until we were free.

I kissed his barely-exposed collarbone, where the hint of his tattoos were poking out.

“Happy Starfall, Rhysand,” I whispered.

He shuddered. “Happy Starfall, darling,” he replied. His voice shook slightly. He blinked away tears and released me from the hug. Still holding one of my hands, he lifted it to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to my knuckles.

His eyes, so dark blue they were violet, seemed to be piercing right into my soul. “I swear to you, when we’re free, we will never have to hide our love from anyone,” he said.

I smiled. “That will be nice.”

His voice dropped to a whisper, “Go. Be safe. Walk through the walls as a shadow so she doesn’t see you leaving.” He pressed his forehead to mine.

“I will.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I let his hands go. Darkness swam over my skin, almost like how they did with Azriel. Az… I missed our family.

Tears brimmed in my eyes. I backed toward the opposite wall from the fireplace, my lower body passing through the unrumpled bed. I wiped the tears away, staring at Rhys for as long as I could before I was swallowed by the wall.

I lingered in the wall for a while, letting my tears fall in the privacy of the stone. Inches from Rhys, yet I may as well have been on the other side of the Wall on the farthest end of the human continent. Forty-nine years. So close, trapped, together Under the Mountain. Mates unable to accept their bond for fear of their lives.

I heard the door open to Rhys’ room. “Well, hello, handsome,” Amarantha’s smooth voice greeted.

The sound sent me running. I knew Rhys hated every single night she forced herself on him. I knew he wouldn’t want me to hear. Knew he was ashamed of it, but willing to keep doing it to keep our family and our home safe.

I loved him all the more for it.

Even if the dormant mating bond chafed against me at the thought of another female in bed with my mate.

Stupid territorial instincts.

I burst out of the stone in my own bedchamber. Small, not particularly grand. Sometimes I imagined it was the guest room I usually occupied in the Velaris townhouse. When I was desperately in need of comfort. Neither Rhys nor I had seen the sun much in the last forty-nine years. Sometimes, in midsummer, Rhys, Helion, me, and a few closely trusted people would gather in one of our bedchambers and let Helion glow, imitating the sun.

Then Rhys would cast a blanket of darkness through the room. Darkness and those glittering stars. A night sky we never got to see either.

Neither High Lord had enough power to hold the light or dark for too long, but the brief snatches we got of both were enough to keep hoping. Enough to keep us from breaking entirely. From shattering down to our very souls.

I collapsed on my bed. Nuala and Cerridwen appeared a few minutes later. Just to sit with me. Their touches were light as I cried. It felt like they were barely embracing me. But I knew they were there. Appreciated their care and concern. As well as their company. If it weren’t for Rhys and Helion, I would have certainly gone mad a long time ago.

“My lady,” Nuala said softly, “how may we ease your pain?”

I shook my head. “Just… just sit with me a while.”

The twins nodded. “We serve and protect,” Cerridwen said.

The three of us stayed on the edge of my bed for hours. Hours, I knew, Rhys was spending with Amarantha. On Starfall. Because she knew he loved it, and she wanted to deprive him of it. Just as, if she found out we were mates, she would want to deprive him of me. Slowly. Painfully. In every way possible before I finally died. Hoping to break him beyond repair.

But my High Lord’s soul was forged in hotter fires, even, than this half-century-long trial. He would never let her break him. Even if she found out about his relation to me.

Long after midnight, Cerridwen pulled a small comb out of my hair that I’d forgotten I’d put in. A small, silver thing with a single star engraved into the top. No jewels, just metal. A simple ornament to remind myself it was Starfall. To remind Rhys.

Even if I had forgotten I put it in.

The twins helped me with the stiff buttons of my tunic and shirt and then left me for the evening to finish undressing and climbing into bed.

I didn’t sleep.

Forty-nine years, and I never slept the night of Starfall. Nor the Winter Solstice.

—

Rhys slipped into my room well into the next morning. I was still lying in bed, eyes closed but awake. He set a hand on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes.

His wings were out.

I sat up quickly. “What—why—”

He just held a finger to his lips. “So you know it’s me. Not some illusion. She didn’t see. I didn’t let them out until I closed the door in here.” His wings tilted backwards and then disappeared.

I leaned my head onto his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around me.

“This kills me,” he whispered. “I should never have brought you to that party. Then you wouldn’t be stuck here.”

“It was my choice too,” I reminded him, sitting up from his shoulder. “I thought… I thought you’d need backup. Someone to distract anyone who came too near while you were getting into her head to make her confess. It kills me that I didn’t think to test your drink for curses. Sniff it for poisons. I want to kill her for all she’s taken from you. For the fact that we’ve lived like this for decades. That I can’t take you to be mine because of her. Some nights it makes me sick thinking about my mate being forced to bed a different female. This isn’t your fault, Rhysand. It’s mine too.”

I never called him his full given name to his face unless I was serious about something. He knew it too. Which was why his violet eyes finally met mine from where our knees were almost touching.

“I don’t deserve you,” he muttered.

“I feel the same way about you.”

He kissed my forehead.

Forty-nine years. The bond had snapped into place thirty years ago, even though we’d known each other for two centuries before that. Thirty years of not being able to even kiss him on the lips for fear of us both losing control and accepting the bond on both ends. Slamming our scents together in an unmistakeable sign we were mates.

“I promise, I’ll find a way to get us out of this,” Rhysand vowed, voice low.

“I’ll help any way I can,” I said.

It wasn’t a bargain, per se. Not the type that required a tattoo. Just a quiet promise between two people in love.

Nuala appeared in the room. “Amarantha’s calling a party for tonight,” she said. “Throne room. The usual.”

“Thank you,” Rhys and I said at the same time. She nodded and disappeared.

Silence stretched out between us for a few minutes. Long enough that it started to make me uncomfortable. I got out of bed and started selecting clothes for the day. Awful, immodest, wicked, Under the Mountain clothes.

“What do you think?” Rhysand finally asked.

“About?” I tested.

“The party tonight.”

“It’ll be just like all the other ones.”

“Wanna shake things up?”

“No. A party just like all the other ones is how we’ve survived this long.” I picked up a brush from where it sat on my basic vanity, set my clothes bundle where the brush had been, and started to detangle my hair. “We survive by playing our roles. Wearing masks even worse than those at the Spring Court, stuck to their faces. The people here—they know what you are. They know what I am. They know I will pretend to tolerate their company while the monster inside sizes up its prey. They know you do the same thing. Changing it now won’t be good for us.” I shook my head.

“What if you arrive in your most revealing gown and we pretend to be lovers that will use and discard each other?”

I didn’t answer until I finished brushing out my hair. “You know that would be dangerous.”

“It would distract Amarantha.”

I threw the brush across the room, where it bounced off the padded headboard, soaring an inch past Rhysand’s ear. “I’m not talking about Amarantha!” I snapped. Rhys looked startled, though the expression smoothed out after the blink of an eye. “You know why we can’t do that to each other. Not now. Because… because—” I squared my shoulders. “—because having you so close, playing that game… you know neither of us would be able to help it. We’d come back here, shred each other’s clothes, and tomorrow Amarantha would start slowly butchering both of us.”

He looked away from me, down to his knees. I crossed to the door that would lead to my tiny adjoining bathing room. “I know,” he said softly. He stood up and stomped over to me as something seemed to rile his temper. “But don’t assume for a second that she hasn’t noticed you have never taken a lover your entire time here. Everyone else has—except you.”

“So what?”

“She doesn’t like being beaten at her own game. Everyone else takes lovers because she expects them to grow more and more wicked and base as their souls wear down and break. For pretty much everyone else, she’s been right. She thinks she broke me like a prize stallion with very little effort. She sees that you’re not breaking—and she’ll want to start working on wearing you down. Tamlin’s deadline is crawling ever-nearer and she’s getting paranoid and restless. She’ll turn you into entertainment just for defying her like this.”

My shoulders slouched. “Even so, she’d never give up you. And I’m not about to take any other male while I’m here, knowing it’s you I should be taking.” The barest flicker of feeling twitched at the mating bond between us. Which emotion, I couldn’t place.

Rhys looked thoughtful. “She’d let me have a side-dalliance as long as she suspected there was nothing behind it. No care, no emotion at all. Just base, primal, carnal instincts we’d later toss aside.” He shrugged. I missed the sight of his wings sweeping the air with his shrugs back home.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said.

“Your choice.”

It was always my choice. Even when things directly impacted him, or hurt his feelings, it was always my choice. “What about your choice?”

“Well, given I suggested it, I think you already know what my choice would be.” He gave me one of his best, sensuous, seductive grins. Wickedly flirtatious. Appealing to that part of me that was absolutely feral deep down. My chest tightened and I clamped down on the longing rising in my heart.

“Fine. But we can’t let—we can’t let the bond solidify. She can’t know.”

Rhys grinned. “I think you’re going to need to choose a different dress, darling.” He gave me a wink.

If I hadn’t already thrown my hairbrush at him, I’d have done it again.

#Rhysand #Rhysand Imagine #Rhysand FanFiction #ACOTAR #ACOTAR Imagine #ACOTAR FanFiction #don't know how else to tag these #Mountain Night

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sugarmaplewings-fics · 4 years

Text

Hoodie HCs 2 . . . Kinda

Pairings: BNHA boys x reader

Warnings: None, not even cursing Σ(☉_☉)

Characters: Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari

A/N: Ok, let’s have a little chat here.

I want to start out by saying I’m not mad, I’m just a little annoyed.

So this same anon sent the same request to someone else (see their post here) and the other author posted theirs around the day after I finished the prompt. If I hadn’t already written it up, I would have just deleted the ask and moved on, but I was already done so here we are. I’m not sure what went wrong where, but let me just say this: Please don’t send the same request to different authors around the same time. It’s not cool. Again, I don’t know everything about the situation, but it’s just really frustrating to both authors when you do things like this.

Also also, anon didn’t really follow my rules. 1. I don’t write for Shigaraki, and 2. I write for fem or gender neutral reader only (this is gender neutral). My rules are there for a reason, both for my benefit and yours, so please look over them before requesting. At the moment I’m only writing for eight people.

Anyway, mini rant over. I hope you guys enjoy these headcanons!

-Sugar

°˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖°

Bakugou:

Dis boi, istg

He’s such a little pain

But you love him

And he even loves tolerates you

One evening, he was in your room, poking through your closet

You were presently in the shower, and had sent him up to your room to grab your towel you had forgotten

But let’s just say he got a little . . . sidetracked

You had so many oversized sweatshirts hanging tantalizingly from your rack

You certainly wouldn’t miss just one, would you?

After some brief inner turmoil, Katsuki pulled one down; a simple solid black

He experimentally brought it nearer to his nose, checking to see if his suspicion may be correct

Indeed, it smelled heavenly of you; your detergent, your deodorant, even down to the faintest traces of sweat and shampoo around the collar

He squeezed and balled it in his fists for a moment, debating while he absentmindedly continued his search for your towel

Soon enough, he found your fuzzy rectangular strip of cloth and, now holding two items from your closet, left your room

He made a quick stop at his own room to drop off the hoodie

Once he had cheekily made his initial delivery, he settled back into his room

He pulled your hoodie over his head, enjoying the baggy feel of it around him

Katsuki was liking this more than he cared to admit, but it didn’t matter since you wouldn’t see him with your hoodie anyway, if he had anything to say about it

Now, you did, in fact, notice the disappearance of your hoodie, and initially brushed it off

That had been the first week

Eventually, you began to cultivate your own suspicions, taking notice of how suddenly your boyfriend grew defensive (at least, more so than normal) any time you brought up the black hoodie that had formerly belonged to you

Indeed, it was time to investigate

You invited yourself over for a study session, waiting until Bakugou ducked into his en-dorm bathroom before quickly and quietly getting up

You poked around a bit, scanning for obvious hiding places

Getting back down, you peeked under the bed

Sure enough, there it was

It was then that you heard the bathroom door click and swing open and shut, then Katsuki’s footsteps froze

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” he shouted

“Looking for something,” you said offhandedly, reaching under to grab the hoodie

“Y-YOU CAN’T JUST SNOOP AROUND MY ROOM LIKE—”

You pulled the hoodie free, smirking at his guilty reaction. “Now how did this get down there?”

“I-I . . . I don’t know.” For once his voice is small; defeated

“You don’t, now?” You took note of how neatly he had folded the black cloth, undoing it in your hands and holding it up to see. “I’ve been looking for this for a while.”

For once, Bakugou is speechless. He’d been caught, and now all he could do was wait for your reaction and what you would do next

“You know, if you wanted this one, you could have asked,” you said, standing. “It’s not like I have a shortage.”

Katsuki had shoved his hands in his pockets, glowering at the floor in an attempt to avoid your gaze

“Does it still even smell like me?” you pondered, more to yourself since you weren’t expecting an answer. You pressed the collar to your nose and inhaled

You were able to detect a tiny hint of yourself still clinging stubbornly to the fabric, but mostly it was laced with him

A quick image of him sleeping in it flashed in your mind and you blushed, glancing from your boyfriend to the floor

“Well, you can give it back when you want,” you said, folding it up again and laying it on his bed. “If you ever want another one, you can tell me.”

You knew him by now. You know it would have been hard for him to have asked you for something like this. So, for the time being, you decided to go easy and drop the subject

The both of you went back to your studies, but this time, Bakugou was a little more silent and reserved than usual

The following month, you made sure to give him every opportunity you could to allow him to take another hoodie

You’d leave your closet doors open and leave the room for extended periods of time while he was in there, making up lame excuses for your absences

Whenever you came over to his room, you might ‘accidentally’ leave a little something behind for him

Sure enough, things would begin to disappear and reappear seemingly on their own. Even though you knew it was Katsuki, he was surprisingly sneaky about it

Finally one day, you visited him at his house over one of your breaks from school

He answered the door in a t-shirt you immediately recognized as your own, and your heart soared

You knew he did it on purpose, and the smirk he bore at your pleasantly surprised expression only offered further proof

BAKUGOU LOVES STEALING YOUR HOODIES AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND. ONCE HE GETS OVER THE INITIAL ‘oh crap, is this weird? Dang it, I like them’ IT’S OVER

Bonus: Every time he gives them back they still smell like him, even though he’s the type to wash them before giving them back

____________

Kirishima:

It all started one particularly cold evening

He was out in a temperature just above freezing in nothing but his regular street clothes

Baby, you hot, but like . . . that’s not enough, please keep yourself warm

N e wahys, after pestering him multiple times asking if he was at all cold, he finally admitted to having a bit of a chill

“Take my jacket.”

“But I’m being manly—”

“Take it.”

“I shouldn’t be taking it from you. Really, it’s my fault so you shouldn’t have to suffer—”

“It’s manly to take care of yourself. And also to accept gifts when you need them. You’re wearing my jacket.”

After a bit of coaxing, he finally pulls it on

*cue his universe falling into place*

He just can’t get over how warm and comfortable and soft it is, and every moment he sees it around him, he’s reminded of you

He goes from one extreme to the other, and now he doesn’t want to take it off

“So are you going to give that back to me or—?”

“Actually, can I keep it for a bit longer?”

“Sure.”

Under the initial circumstances, it makes him a little blushy

But like, this is now his everything???

It’s like you’re always there to give him a little hug, and it even smells like you. He sleeps in it every night for nearly two weeks

But then it starts to lose your scent, and his mind begins to wonder what else you might have in your closet

He goes to your room and sheepishly broaches the topic, giving back the original jacket and asking if he could have another

You smile at how flustered he is, and allow him full access to your extensive collection

Bby boi is so pumped to be able to wear your shirts and sweaters, and always tries to return the favor if he can

I headcanon that he has a pretty strong personal scent, so it’s really nice to wear his clothes, or even just re-wearing your own clothes once he gives them back

He gets extra cuddly and fluffy whenever he wears something of yours as well, so REAP YOUR BENEFITS WHERE YOU CAN

____________

Kaminari:

He’s the most open with it, honestly

Seriously, having an s/o who is taller than him makes his heart do the BIG doki doki

He thinks you’re so cute! And so much fun to hug!! Yes please, sign him up

He hadn’t really thought too much about taking your hoodies or jackets, but one night, he had taken yours from you to go hang it up. Holding it up to his, it dawned upon him that they were the same size

Next thing he knew, he was raiding your closet in secret. You’d left your room to go grab some snacks for your gaming night and Denki had decided that that was the perfect time for him to strike

He wasn’t overly concerned with getting caught, but he enjoyed entertaining the idea of you finding one of your t-shirts stolen by none other than himself

He truly had hit gold, dating someone like you. Upon opening and rooting through your closet, he discovered even more clothing articles that would certainly fit him; hoodies, jumpers, t-shirts . . . .

It was almost overwhelming, to be honest. How could he possibly pick just one?

You came back into your room a few minutes later, catching him in the act of eyeing a small pile of your own clothes

You watched him silently from your door for a minute, eyes flicking from your closet to your boyfriend, who had held up an old oversized hoodie to his chest

The dots were easily connected in your head, and you smirked

“Finding something you like?” you asked, making him jump and turn around to face you. You could almost have sworn to have seen a little crackle of electricity run down his arm from his own surprise

“(Y/N)! Yeah, um, I noticed the other day that we were the same size, so I was curious about . . . what you had . . . .”

He watches your reaction, relieved to see you smirk and walk over to him

“Try that one on,” you say, referring to the hoodie

He grins back, sliding it over his head as you watched

It was so comfortable, and warm too. You had good taste

The hoodie smelled like you and everything. Denki allowed himself to relish for a moment the feeling of something of yours softly encasing him so

Yep, there was no way he was taking it off

You let him keep it, butterflies making their flighty rounds in your belly every time you glanced over at him

He looked cute in it, and the fact that he was wearing something of yours further stirred a feeling in you that he was truly yours to love

Definitely makes a habit of taking your clothing from time to time—anything he can get his hands on is his, sometimes experimenting with your differing style from his

Very very soft, 10/10 cuddle and spoon your smol bf

°˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖°

Taglist: @basicaegyo @iiminibattlehero @pyrofanatic @sokkasangel @xoxopam4

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kekoma · 3 years

Text

— kunimi as your boyfriend.

just want this man’s hand in marriage. hope you enjoy.

the time has finally come.

we are enjoying the pure goodness that nimi provides because this cutie can do more than just blep and look dead inside.

doesn’t make any sense how people DON’T simp for this cutie enough because whew— i surely do.

kithes for him but you aren’t here for me to simp for your man.

dating akira here is a bit interesting.

but before i go discuss that, let’s discuss a bit of background and the crushing stage.

first of all, he isn’t someone who dates often. may have been in a few relationships or maybe none at all.

the concept of being with someone never really peeked his interest nor does he want to stumble across someone who could potentially want more out of him.

but we could already assume that a bit from his personality. (although i will not consider him 100% lazy here.)

however, gonna add that none of that makes him totally inexperienced in the dating scene.

nimi is somewhat knowledgeable about it to a certain degree so if you think he’s completely clueless at dating or anything.

fairly decent but definitely trips up on some things.

only thing i can say is appreciate him for doing his best here.

as for the crushing stage.

he found himself a bit confused that he developed feelings for you.

not one of those “hm?! what’s this strange feeling bubbling inside me?!?!” type of confusions. more on the “so we’re finally simping..? how did this happen?” side.

but he isn’t bothered by it nor is he going to retrace his steps on how he developed feelings.

it was bound to happen since nimi does spend a lot of time with you and he tolerates you more than any other person who isn’t on his team/friends.

doesn’t attempt confessing his feelings towards you for a while.

but he does tell kindaichi about you. he’s the homie after all and he gotta tell someone about the cutie he’s crushing on.

also akira is one of those people who just observes their crush, waiting for the opportunity to compliment you if you end up changing something about yourself.

“did you change your hair? it looks different.”

“oh yeah! it’s just a small trim but i didn’t think it was noticeable. does it look bad or something?”

“not at all. your hair looks pretty but your hair always looks pretty to me.” he’ll say with a small blush on his cheeks.

literally says the nicest things to you that it’s hard not to swoon over him.

keeps up the act until one day he spots a guy around you trying his hardest to get with you.

it made him jealous that someone could potentially you steal you away from him so best believe when he skipped practice to hang with you (as always), he decided to confessed his feelings for you right then and there.

you already know the rest so it’s time to get into the relationship aspect.

dating him isn’t that bad. of course it’s more on the chill side though.

not because he’s lazy or anything because he’s actually ditches his lazy habits for you. (not completely but we aren’t here to change him. we stan and love this man for being himself around these parts)

gives a bit of his energy towards you than anything else but it’s only because he’s whipped for you, however, he won’t attempt it.

definitely finds himself holding your hand while sleeping in class.

says “he sleeps better that way.” so you just gotta accept it.

even recommends you should try sleeping in class too with him but someone has to take notes and its you sadly.

but ever since you two started dating, both his and yours sleeping schedule are ruined. (mainly yours since nimi is a pro at this)

kunimi is the type of boyfriend who likes to be active with you during the night.

whether it’s sneaking you out so you two can go buy snacks while talking endlessly, on the phone with each other until morning or just generally at each other houses doing nothing but cuddling and watching tv— he’s keeping you awake with him.

but it’s not like you mind since spending time with akira is never bad.

side fact: you once tried to fix his sleep schedule by making sure you both fell asleep early and you truly thought it would work because he agreed for once... but it didn’t work since he still slept in class the next day.

the type of boyfriend who ‘accidentally’ leaves his clothes at your place and then acts surprised when you end up wearing it.

“is that my shirt?”

“uhh yeah you left it here, remember?”

“really? i don’t but you know... i can’t even be mad when you look good in it.”

and if you’re at his, kumini will find a way for you to ditch your own clothes because he likes seeing you in his.

but is he really fooling anyone here? no. will he ever admit to it? never never never.

100% positive this cutie swoons over you.

akira here smiles the most when he’s around you and ONLY YOU.

however if his teammates tease him about it, he’s just gonna stare and pretend he heard nothing.

willing to drop everything for you. don’t fight me on this.

kunimi akira loves you that much.

even loves you enough to share his favorite with you; salted caramel.

and that alone speaks VOLUMES.

pda was mentioned briefly so let’s shift to it.

in public; akira is definitely affectionate but the most he’ll do in public is holding hands with you, occasionally giving small kisses that leave you all warm every time he does (same goes for him too) and requests that you play with his hair during lunch break (because he definitely lays on your lap and listen to you talk about random things).

now when you are alone then he’s definitely more affectionate than before.

loves wrapping his arms around from behind and letting his head get snuggled up in the crook of your neck, his kisses become frequently, cuddling with you (big spoon energy for him) and all the lovey doves stuff.

but something he loves the most is waking up in the morning and giving you morning kisses (after teeth have been brushed and everything.. morning breath exist ya know. don’t kiss with morning breath please.)

overall just super soft with you when you’re alone.

nicknames? ahh nicknames.

top ones for you 🥁🥁🥁 precious, pretty girl, baby/babe, cutie, princess and occasionally he’ll toss in sleeping beauty/princess

side fact about the last name: you called him the prince of sleeping one day and he decided to joke around about you being his sleeping princess/beauty then. proceeded to make another joke that the next time one of you end up sleeping then a kiss be given to wake one another up.

you took the chance to do it a few weeks after that conversation and he couldn’t help but blush and find it shocking you took him seriously (yet he’s not complaining)

now dates. sweet wonderful dates.

kunimi prefers to take you out on dates that are considerably relaxing and quiet so home dates, going to museums, art exhibitions, aquariums and things along those lines are okay with him.

also loves seasonal dates where you to go around try the new dishes out for the season or look at the new outdoor decors being set up.

something to mention, when he takes you out to each... you never see the bill. never ever.

akira doesn’t believe in the concept of you paying for something if he’s treating you out and he also won’t argue with you about it.

not verbally at least but you two do mentally fight about it and there’s always the competition of who can pay faster without the other noticing right away.

as for home dates, he sometimes goes all out and makes a little fort so you two can watch movies inside.

like a little get away from reality.

but let me come myself down because i could go on and on about dating his fool.

in summary; kunimi is best boyfriend. i said what i said and never taking it back.

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hello-im-not-a-possum · 3 years

Text

17. Glass

At first, Susie assumes Norman is just some weird creep. At first, Norman assumes Susie isn’t anything as special as the others hype her up to be. But when he finds out that her discolored eye isn’t just some sort of medical condition of hers, and as the two talk, they realize that they have a little bit more in common than they thought they did. (Set during Susie’s first few days on the job.)

Susie was both excited to the point where she felt like she was walking on air and nervous to the point of nausea.

It was her first week in the big apple, and she already landed a job interview at the promising, brand new animation studio simply titled ‘Joey Drew Studios’. It helped that she had a very impressive vocal range, a lot of pep, and eagerness to work with new people.

And when she presented her resume to the Music director and he in turn offered the role of Alice Angel, she was completely over the moon! While naturally, female characters tended to be underwritten in personality compared to their male counterparts, the personality the Angel did have reminded her so much of herself! She was a friendly gal who loved to sing her heart out and dance, and according to Sammy, would be fleshed out more during the show’s run.

“While they might be reluctant to her at first, she’s really something special, maybe could even be more popular than Bendy someday.”

But as great as the job itself was, the people she worked with were pretty hit and miss, with the acceptation of the music director who was both at the same time.

Luckily, there were more hits than misses, but the misses really... well, missed. Like that projectionist that was often skulking in the shadows and pulling mean pranks on people. Admittedly, she was still upset by their first encounter where he spooked her into dropping hot coffee on her favorite skirt. How on earth could somebody that tall be that quiet?!

But aside from his... odd quirks, the projectionist seemed harmless enough and as long as she did her job and he did his and they didn’t bug each other, then they’d be fine.

-----

Due to Norman’s hobbies, he got good at judging reading people over the years and his new coworkers and bosses were no exceptions. Some were easier to read than others, but he got the gist of most of them down;

Joey? Friendly on the outside, but was hollow on the inside, perhaps soulless even. And not in a way where the man was drained of stuff inside him. He seemed that he was just always like that.

Sammy? Aggressive and weird on the outside, is less aggressive on the inside but only gets weirder the deeper you dig. Norman wasn’t saying that the man was an escaped loony bin patient... but he wouldn’t be surprised if he happened to be one.

Jack? A genuine and friendly fellow, seemed to go with the flow and had a high tolerance and or fascination for crazy. No wonder he seemed to be so close with Sammy.

Susie? A chipper, seemingly headstrong, and naive young woman from the south if he was hearing her accent correctly. She was a sweet singer and good at voices, he’d give her that, but she seemed to be over hyped if anyone was asking him. He wasn’t annoyed by her himself, he was just annoyed with how most of the musicians acted around her, they weren’t inappropriate, but they weren’t hiding their feelings either.

He tried to keep his distance from her most of the time, partly because he sensed he was still mad about the prank going wrong as he didn’t know she was carrying coffee, and partly because he didn’t want to get too close to her only to see the big bad city chew her up and spit her out once it was done fawning over her.

Watching that happen wasn’t as bad as watching what happened to people at his old job, but it would still tug his heartstrings the same way, even if it wasn’t as hard.

-----

It was by chance they met up late at night, Norman was fixing a stubborn projector and Susie was looking for a script that the Janitor accidentally threw out. At first, the former didn’t notice the latter, she came up on his blind spot and he was too busy listening to the projector’s weird sounds to notice the click clack of her high heels.

The machine he was handling was being unreasonable lately, and he was cursing under his breath because of it. He eventually figured out that the machine had a problem with itself AND it’s plug. If he left, he left his booth at risk of catching on fire again, if he didn’t then he’d be leaving the band room at risk of getting caught on fire.

“Too bad I’ve only got the one eye ta keep on yous, I could use another...”

“Oh! I can help with that!”

The man wasn’t sure what he was more caught off guard by: Susie’s presence or the fact that she had just popped her discolored eye right out of her head and set it gingerly on top of the projector. All this time he assumed that it was just infected or something, not made out of glass.

Norman doubled over in hysteric laughter and composed himself a few moments later.

“Well, I do appreciate a good eye for jokes, but I hope you’re bein’ serious about this here projector, I was startin’ ta worry which would catch on fire first...”

Susie gave a thumbs up as she put her eye back into her head. “No problem! I just always wanted to do that joke ever since I got my glass eye, but I don’t mind watching it for a bit for you.”

The projector between them sparked up a bit, making both of them back away.

“...I was starting to worry about that thing myself, actually...”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head no more, now that I know what the problem is, it’s good as done.”

As Norman handled the situation, he returned back to the booth to give her the all clear.

“Situation’s handled, hopefully it won’t make a fuss again for a while.”

“That’s good!” She chipped back, and her eye went to his name tag. “Wait a minute, your last name is ‘Polk’?”

“Yes? At least, last time I checked it, it was...” He looked over her own name tag and something clicked. “...And yours is Campbell?”

“Yes! You were the local undertaker back in Pineville, Louisiana, right?”

“Yeah, but as ya can see I retired from that a while ago.”

“You won’t believe this, but I think I used to live across the street from you!”

“Definitely knew some Campbells in my neighborhood.” He nodded. “All of them were read heads like yourself, so I wouldn’t be surprised. In fact, I think I met your brother a handful of times... ”

“Yep! He told me a lot about you! Who’d think we’d end up meeting up at the studio of all places?”

“Yeah, sure is a small world alright.”

“Well, enjoy your night Norman.”

“You too, see ya tomorrow.”

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #susie campbell #norman polk #mild eye horror #fanfic #ink demonth

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dishonestkilla · 4 years

Text

Hate Me

This is a very short headcanon I thought of while listening to the song below.

TW: Angst, language, NSFW, 18+ content, mentions of violence, smut, toxic relationship, nasty smut it's nasty so read at ur ownnnnnnnn risk

Pairing: Drug Dealer!ReaderAU × Dabi

words: 3k

There was a thick silence in the dark alley where they stood. The only sound being the sound of tobacco burning on the other side of the cancer stick that was placed between her plush lips, the smoke she inhaled being freed the moment she breathed out, letting the toxins out towards his furious face.

Teal eyes burnt through her soul, shooting daggers at her. If a gaze could kill, she would've been long dead.

"So, that is all you are? A petty criminal?" The question was more rhetorical than something that actually needed to be asked. Dabi never knew what she actually did, hell, he now wanted to know if he ever actually was aware of who she was..But now, all that he could feel was a slice of anger blinding his sight.

"Yeah," She shrugged, still unfazed by his shaking figure and in one second, she could've sworn that a blue flame sparked on the surface of his scarred face but being the stubborn woman, the warning sign of his rage was ignored.

To her, his wrath was not justified nor was it plausible. This was her life, it had always been. Just because she let him spend a night here and there, caressed the side of his rough face, kissed his lips tenderly and loved him dearly, holding him close whenever she felt like breaking, it didn't mean that he could interfere in her business life.

"You have been lying to me all this time? Staged working at Kurogiri's bar for what? To get your hands on some filthy money?? Is that it? Money? Is that all you care for? Don't you think that our world has enough problems, wouldn't you like to be part of something that is actually worth a thing?" Dabi's voice raised slightly at the end, his hands flying up in dissatisfaction as he eyed her, but the sight he saw was anything but pleasant.

Her face had been contorted into a crooked smile, head tilted go the side just a little, orbs darker than usual. That grimace made him so mad, he could've sworn a vein in his neck popped from how tense he had become.

"Listen to yourself, acting all big and tough. Fucking hell," Y/N blurted, a big puff of smoke leaving her throat as she laughed out, "So what if I am not the Messiah. So what if I am not like you, a saint, a chosen one. I have been doing this ever since I left home, if you don't like it, you don't have to be going out with me." She continued, face turning serious, her orbs now igniting a new flame in themselves.

"You don't have to love me, if you don't want to accept me," her voice was barely audible when she said that but knowing Dabi, Y/N was sure he heard her.

"Why don't you let me help you then? Because I do love you, fuck, I love you so much, isn't it proof enough that I'd put myself as a villain at risk to be exposed to some junkie that would die to sell me to the police? Just to be able to he-" before the real eyed male could continue, he was interrupted, Y/N now also tensed up, lips quivering, she was mad and it was evident.

"I don't need your damn help, you bastard!" And in the next second, her hand had made contact with the surface of his face, leaving a red print behind.

"I owe you nothing and don't want to either," she hissed, jaw clenching, hands balled into fists as her gaze was now hunting him down.

"Owe me? Who in the fuck told you that in a relationship people owe each other things?!"

"Who in the fuck dated you, so that you know now?!" Her words weren't little knives into his hearts, no, it was like her ever so soft hands wrapped around the organ itself, crushing it inside of his chest. Just like that.

"You don't mean that," He whispered, now suddenly vulnerable, hurt and saddened.

"Yes, I do. I do, because you always claim to know everything, mess up my business, try to tell me what the fuck to do, and then dare to teach me on relationships. Reality check, Dabi. You're a villain, a burnt, brutal, scary villain. Nothing more." She yelled at this point. Tears welling up in her eyes, entire body shaking in frustration as her voice made it's way to the ears of the black haired man.

His lips were shaking, and now it wasn't only anger and sadness inside of his guts, it was something much worse.

Dabi wanted to wrap his hands around her throat and squeeze. Hard.

But no, not like one of the times where he had her against the wall, hips plowing into hers, one nipple between his fingers as she moaned loudly at his ministrations, head against the concrete. Not like those times where he let out his steam on her, ravaging her body, leaving purple marks on her satin alike skin that he had adorned with love bites moments before.

It wasn't one of the many moments in which she submitted to him with a mewl because of how roughly his digits burned her as a sign of affection alongside of his length caressing her velvety walls, bruising thrusts being the source for the nasty clapping and squelching noises that filled the room of the empty bathroom stall in some random club.

This was different, he wanted to cut her oxygen supply for good, watch as her face started to grimace, eyes rolling back as he took her life ever so slowly before burning her perfect body in his flames, feeling her warmth one last time before extinguishing her.

Without even noticing, he had moved forward, trapping her between the brick barricade behind her, caging her between his arms while holding her down with his own weight.

The way she looked at him caused a low growl to erupt his chest, a rush of heat running down his spine as he watched her with intent eyes.

Now, it was his turn to smirk twistedly at Y/N as the girl gulped. It wasn't like she was weak, the opposite, her quirk was one to be feared at least to say, after all, she could manipulate other people's nerves to bend at her own will, if she wanted to, she could cause him severe pain, but instead of that, she let him pin her down with his eyes. Despite of being powerful, she was fairly aware of Dabi's high pain tolerance as well as his immense strength. Y/N wasn't stupid enough to try and fight the male when she was intoxicated at that.

"Let me show you what you do to me.."

Before she could even protest, his lips had been attached to her sweet spot right below her right ear, a meal leaving her plump lips, melting at his touch and the way his calloused hands traveled the surface of her body. Arms now around his neck as she pulled him impossibly closer, causing Dabi to snicker against her throat while leaving wet kisses on her neck, marking her in his wake.

"Look at you, already a whimpering mess and I haven't even started yet," he rasped, now standing up straight again to meet her desperate gaze.

"Shut up," the girl retorted with sass, now it was her turn to tease him.

Lips colliding with his own, the taste of nicotine and whiskey flooding her senses, everything a blur and the reason on why they had started to banter long forgotten, the only thing mattering being their lust and desire for one another.

While his fingers tugged at the strands of her locks, her own had started to fumble with his belt, haphazardly ripping away the leather piece before she slid down the wall to kneel in front of his growing erection.

The heels of her shoes now meeting the wall as he had granted little space so she could do whatever she wanted to.

Soft pecks placing themselves against his restrained bulge before his hands wrapped themselves around her hair, making her look up at his gaze, "Get to it," he ordered and Y/N didn't have to be told twice before pulling his pants and boxers down to below his thighs, just enough to grant access to the angry tip of his cock, precum already leaking down the slit.

Experimentally she licked a stripe from his base to the tip, tasting his slightly pineapple flavoured release.

Yes, pineapple. She had forced him to eat the fruit regularly, if he wanted her lips around his length and his shaft down her throat.

One hand wrapped around him, thumb and index finger not able to touch, she started to jerk off the tall individual in front of herself, eyes focused on his leaking tip, paying attention to the area with kitten licks.

"Did you forget how to suck dick? Do I have to remind you?" He snapped at her, a sneaky smirk on his face.

Not wanting to play his petty game, the female let her head down till her nose met with his pubic bone, irises blown wide with lust at the sight of him groaning, his head lulled back at the immense pressure of feeling the walls of her throat inviting him.

Repeating the action a few times she then proceeded to suck down his erection with quick yet impactful bobbing motions, cheeks hollowing around him, practically milking him for whatever he was about to give her.

The two were fighting, they hated each other at times and probably had been at the verge of killing the other more than just once, however, they also knew each other more than anyone else did and not only physically but also emotionally. Now, the knowledge of one another's body and sweet spots were the advantage of their frankly scandalous little escapade in some dark alleyway where she had been dealing some of her 'happy pills' and 'devil's lettuce' the latter being what she was high on herself. The only difference being the passion and burning desire that fueled her intoxicated mind to wander even more. 'Test the waters and play with fire', as she liked to say.

One of his scarred hands darted out into her hair, nimble fingers digging in as he took a fist of her locks into his palm, pulling her head down his entire shaft, the intrusion causing a soft gag to escape her throat, eyes shooting up to meet his mischievous gaze upon her, the sight of his lazy smirk yet fiery orbs sending a jolt straight to her core.

He had regained control of what was going down, his hips now ramming into her mouth as if it was a fleshlight for him to abuse. The mere sight of how her pretty lips wrapped around his tip just to be parted more whilst he forced her down onto his length, the way she salivated all over him, drool now dribbling down onto her exposed cleavage that was peeking up from underneath the flimsy top she wore, her eyes slowly watering as she laid her hands on either side of his thick thighs. It was mesmerizing, if he could he would take a picture of it.

Finally satisfied with one last thrust into her sloppy cavern, the male didn't wait any longer before pulling her up to her wobbly legs, turning her around, he pushed her face into the wall behind herself, moving behind her as his lips latched onto her neck again, leaving bite marks here and there while his hands made quick work of her leather pants, pulling them down her thighs hastily, groaning at the sight of her lacy panties, "Seems like you've expected this, yeah? Getting fucked by no other than your man in a nasty alleyway." Making her sneer at him, she was quick to reply to his comment, "My man? Darling, you're not even a man in the first place!" That was it.

That was what caused his next moves to be crude and rougher than usual.

Pinning her arms behind her back as he bent her over against the wall, hips plowing into her, intruding her insides to spread for him, grunting as her wet, spongy walls clenched around him.

Without further do, he started to slam into her with slow, yet deep thrusts, the force of each thrust causing her entire body to jolt forward, pushing her against the wall even more.

His moves never faltered as he pulled out of her so merely his tip was coated in her juices, forcing his entire dick into her repeatedly before he set a steady pace of in and out.

Dabi was taking his time judging on how he dragged out the moment by changing between steady thrusts and reckless ramming.

One hand that supported her hips whilst she moaned and mewled at her insides being rearranged by him over and over, lifted, igniting a fire for a second before raining down onto each ass cheek of the girl in front of himself, leaving red hand prints that would stay for quite some time, marking her squeal at the force, the rough treatment being painful yet so pleasant that she couldn't help but moan out incoherent words as his hips sped up to an erratic pace, knocking the air out of her lungs.

"Yeah? What was that? Who isn't your man, huh? Say that again, I want to hear you say it." The way his voice seemed so unfazed caused her to roll back her hips like some sex-crazed animal, whimpering at the lack of treatment when he suddenly pulled out just to forcefully pull her flush against himself.

However, Y/N wasn't that fragile, with that being said, a smirk crept onto the female's flushed face, "Not you-" Her answer caused a low growl emit from the male, as he pulled her back by her hair, now back arched even more as he groaned against her ear, voice raspy, the hand that held her wrists wrapping around her throat, cutting the air supply of the girl, hips assaulting her again, the sound of skin slapping filling the quiet alley.

As her walls clenched yet again caused by him abusing her cunt for more than half an hour without letting her release, each time pulling out just to make sure she'd get the message of who was in charge. At this point she was shaking, her jaw slack while tears ran down her cheeks, staining her face.

"Come on, baby, tell everyone here who your man is and I will fuck you until you cum all over my cock, little slut," He could swear that he felt her grow even tighter around his length as he degraded her yet again.

"D-D-Dabi.." her voice was a mere whisper and not enough for the hot headed man, shaking his head as his hips came to a halt again. Denying her release all over.

"What, princess, I couldn't hear you and I bet no one else could either. Use your pretty brain if you want to cum."

Those words finally pulled her trigger as she started to beg the wanted villain, "H-hah~ Please, Dabi, I am yours, all yours and - you're my m-man, please make me cum.." She pleaded, voice desperate and in a hoarse tone.

Pleased with her begging, the black haired criminal picked up his recklessly rough pace again, one hand creeping to her front as he started to rub her clit in circles, and all of that combined to the low growl and grunts coming from him while biting her neck was enough to make white flash in her vision, body trembling as her release gushed out of her abused hole, screaming out his name.

Vigorously shaking in his arms as he worked her furthermore until he released his seed into her, painting her walls white whilst she milked him.

"I've got you, I've got you." The man cooed, caressing her body as he slowly let her calm down before pulling out of her, helping her redress as he pulled his pants up himself, watching her lean against the wall, hair tousled and mascara running down her eyes as he held out a hand, wiping away the black streaks lovingly, her head automatically leaning into his touch.

"I hate everything about you," she mumbled, making him chuckle, cocking an eyebrow at her as he watched her put a blunt between those lips of hers, lighting up the piece before inhaling the toxins inside of it, eyes rolling to the back of her head in comfort.

Moving forward he took the piece from her, he grabbed her jaw after she took another big hit, kissing her softly, tongues and smoke mixing together before he took her hand and lead her to his nearby apartment, with her just strolling after him like a lost puppy just to be cuddled up on his chest moments later upon her arrival in his shabby little space, arms around him while smoking yet another blunt.

Looking up at his turquoise eyes that held so many unreadable emotions, she let out a huff, pouting at him before laying her cheek flat against the surface of his sternum again.

"I didn't mean that," She slowly admitted, looking up to see him smirk a little, man if she could've just punched him. Well, she could..But shouldn't..Unless..

"I know that you were just Dic-"

"Don't say it, I swear to god, do not say it!"

"Dickrived,"

"Ugh! you're such a dork."

Both laughed at the silly comment Dabi made proudly, his entire chest puffing up before he embraced her with his arms, "Am I really such a monster?" He suddenly asked before she unexpectedly kissed his lips with passion, in an attempt to quiet him down.

"Shush, no you aren't. And even if you were.. You are my monster." Those were the last few words he heard before they both drifted off to sleep, never knowing what would expect them next.

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A/N: This took longer than I thought, phew. Hope y'all thirsty ones liked it hehe.

#angst #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #dabi smut #dabi angst #mha dabi #dabi x female reader #dabi x reader #dabi smau #mha smut #bnha smut #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero au

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prinxlyart · 4 years

Note

Oh thos warm moments of redemption hit me right in the feels >///<. (I'mma definitely gonna compile all your headcanons in one doc and you can't stop me!). Anyways, now getting back to lumity (prepare thyselve because I'm HUNGRY): How does the redeemed Odalia's relationship with Luz and Willow develop? And regarding our three girls in particular, how do they act right after their proposals, during the wedding and on their honeymoon?

(Lmao please, lord knows I’ll never put any of these into a doc)

Hmmm, that’s a really good question. Er, several questions. Imma go in order of how they were asked.

[tw: for mentions of severe depression /thoughts of suicide starting with bullet #4. I’ll be sure to add the warnings before and after the section as well. Please continue with caution.]

Blight Parents’ relationship with their daughters-in-law:

I think just due to how they got to where they are by this point, they both have a soft spot for Luz. She’s the one that reached out to them in the first place after all of their kids left the family. They feel a v specific gratitude towards her and Camila both because these humans work so hard to get shit done. It’s an admirable trait. One they’re glad the Nocedas aimed at them. It’s taken so much time and energy to get the Blights be, like. Tolerable people? And then even more to get them to actually act like parents.

I think at first, any time they’re unsure of how to act or react to a situation, they’ll go to Luz for guidance. They’ve gone their whole lives up until just a few years ago acting a certain way and just flipping all that? It can be difficult to break those habits. Any time they feel they should react in anger or irritation or disgust, they stop and think “no, wait. What would Luz/Camila do? Would they get mad...?” And they just give her a look of confusion and guilt before Luz mimes the sort of reaction that would be healthiest. Any time Amity catches them literally looking to Luz on how to act supportive she just rolls her eyes. They’re trying and that’s what matters.

I think at first they just don’t know how to interact with Willow. They apologized for how they treated her in the past at great length, but Willow just sort of nodded along quietly. They weren’t used to that sort of reaction (granted they’ve only just started doing this “apologizing” thing for a few months at this point in time. They’re still getting the hang of it). So they sit uncomfortably for a while until Willow sighs and sort of sits up straighter. She’d resolved to tell them about how their careless and cruel treatment of Amity was the first step in a chain reaction to Willow’s life becoming absolutely miserable for years to follow.

Not only was she forced to lose her best friend at that birthday party, but she had to do so in the cruelest way possible. Amity explained to her years back that she pretended to not like her because she couldn’t do magic to hide the fact that her parents threatened Willow. Because the Blights are supposed to be perfect. Amity has always been smart and she knew what would happen if she let it slip that they had threatened her. If Willow knew the truth, she’d tell her dads and her dads would try to confront them about it. It would end up turning into a scandal (although Amity admitted she wasn’t familiar with the word at the time; it was just one of those words she heard her mom use a lot for situations that were bad). So as a result of Amity doing her part to “protect” the Blight name, she shunned Willow from her life and broke both their hearts in the process.

[TW: discussion of severe depression and thoughts/intentions of suicide. If you’re in a vulnerable headspace right now, please scroll until you see the next notice signaling the end of the section. And please, if you’re struggling with depression and/or thoughts of suicide, please please please seek professional help.]

Willow recounts the years of endless bullying, not always by Amity’s new friends, but often by them. She tells them how Amity wouldn’t necessarily participate so much as observe with a carefully schooled expression. And then there were times when Amity did bully her, and that hurt so much more than everyone else combined. All so she wouldn’t be publicly shamed or get in trouble with her parents for associating with someone like Willow.

She tells them that it literally took Luz coming into their lives for any of that to change. Amity had turned 7 on the birthday she cut Willow out of her life, and they were 14 when Luz showed up. Half of Willow’s entire life up to that point had been friendless (or nearly friendless) and so severely bullied that she was actually debating growing a Graveleaf plant to brew tea with. She still has to take a daily healing potion prescribed by her doctor to keep her mind from falling back to that same state it used to be in. Yes, her life has greatly improved ever since Luz showed up and helped repair her friendship with Amity. Yes, it’s only gotten better since then. Yes, she loves her fiancées with everything she has. But that doesn’t mean all that pain has suddenly been erased and it doesn’t always stop her brain from sinking back into its depressed state.

Needless to say, the Blights are absolutely floored with all of this information. They’re both frozen in shock, they don’t know what to do or say to such an admission. Willow just continues though. She tells them that she’s so grateful to have Amity back in her life. That with therapy, her daily medicine, and time, she’s come a long way from where she once was. Her bad days aren’t nearly as bad as they were when she was a kid. She has both of her fiancées to support her and love her when she’s feeling down. She tells them that no, she can’t forgive them for what they’ve done. But she accepts their apology and appreciates them making the effort to make things right. Seeing Amity happy because her parents are actually trying to be better makes Willow happy.

I think......Alador would be the one to go to Willow and kneel before her and take her hand, apologizing with as much intent as he can muster. He’s a little more in touch with his emotions these days than Odalia is, and he’s lost a family member to suicide before. He knows how devastating it can be to everyone around them and he’s mortified at the fact that Willow had almost done the same. He understands how much she means to Amity and he comes to the realization mid-apology that he could have very well lost his own daughter in a similar fashion had Willow gone through with that. Odalia goes white as a sheet at hearing that, steadying herself in her chair and it makes Willow feel queasy, but she’s glad that he understands the severity of what they’d done. She does put a hand to Alador’s shoulder to comfort him as he reels from this realization and he stands properly again to wrap Willow in a hug as he cried, still muttering apologies through his tears. I think it takes a while for Odalia to be able to speak again, but Willow is able to see that that struggle means it’s rocked her to her core. Once Odalia is able to also stammer out her own apologies, Willow just gives her a small smile and nods.

[END OF SECTION. Now it’s all fluff from here on out. Have fun, kids.]

After that discussion, Alador and Odalia double down on the whole “being better” thing. During one of their weekly tea meetings, they ask Camila how they might start doing that in their daily lives too, not just for their children. Camila doesn’t know the first thing about their jobs or what they do or the people they work with, so she tells them to make a list of things they can think of that might’ve been considered hurtful to some degree. The tea definitely goes cold long before the list is done; Camila actually needs to leave before they finish it. The next meeting, there’s a comically large scroll of shit they’ve done sitting on the table and they are sitting with their heads cowed in shame. I think Camila pops an ibuprofen before her headache settles in.

They still don’t know how to do nice things without throwing money at it first. That takes a while for them to wrap their heads around. Luz and Willow aren’t ones for like. Big, extravagant, expensive things. They prefer the heartfelt stuff, like hand-made gifts or thoughtful acts of service. (Amity, however, insists they accept her parents ridiculously expensive weekend getaway trip to the Iliac Crest Hot Springs; the top of the left hip bone of the Titan. A well-known vacation spot for romantic getaways. Willow only accepts because she knows they’d never be able to afford that on their own and Luz accepts it as a wedding gift and an opportunity to go to a part of the Boiling Isles she’s never explored before.)

Alador is like every dad ever; he loves talking about random trivia shit to anyone who will listen. Luz is literally the only person that will listen because even though she’s lived in the Demon Realm for years now, she still doesn’t know all the “fun facts” that everyone else has grown up with. Sometimes she’ll bring up points about random trivia bits Alador is going on about and put in her own two snails about something she’s experienced regarding it, and she and Alador will go back and forth for a while like that, talking about the stuff they’ve experienced relating to that thing. Willow thinks it’s adorable and Amity is mostly just exasperated (but she also thinks it’s cute and she loves watching her dad bond with her fiancée like this).

Odalia will occasionally ask Amity about her abominations and they’ll sort of awkwardly talk for a while about the technicalities and ingredients and Odalia will mention adding an ingredient Amity’s never even considered before. When she inquires further, Odalia tells her that she’ll sometimes work with a friend in the Emperor’s coven that specialized in the plant track to experiment with creating abominations with different kinds of ingredients for different tasks. Amity is shocked and impressed to hear about her own mother mixing magic and teases her for breaking the rules right under the emperor’s nose. Odalia stammers at that (she’s still getting used to Belos no longer being in power and the stigma against mixing magic still runs strong in her mind), but eventually admits that yes, technically she’s mixed magic. Amity makes her promise to show her how with Willow and they make a whole day of it.

Spending the day making weird abominations with Odalia Blight was Not something Willow thought she’d ever say she’d done, but hey. She didn’t think King could beat Luz in that one eating contest either because where does he put all that food, but he ended up winning anyway. Willow and Amity are actually super excited to try mixing their knowledge of magic together; it almost feels intimate in a way. It’s something neither have tried before and are able to try for the first time together because it’s their specialties. Odalia guides them through the process of mixing different types of plants into the abomination mixture to make abominations specific for extra strength or abominations that help enhance healing magic just due to its properties. They all end up having a lot of fun that day, just making all sorts of varieties of abominations. By the time the day is done, they’re all covered in abomination goop because one of them accidentally exploded. Luz managed to get a picture of them all laughing together and covered in goop before they go to clean up. It’s one of her favorite pictures.

As time goes on, things get less and less tense between the Blight parents and Luz and Willow (especially with Willow). They grow more comfortable with being good parents, good people, and just kinder and more loving in general. There’s one day when the Blights come to visit and they greet each girl with a hug and kiss without really realizing it. They all go to settle down in the living room, but Amity’s still frozen at the doorway, covering her mouth and trying desperately to wipe away the tears that crept up at the display of affection. No one else had thought anything of it, but that was the first time her parents had shown the same and love and affection to both of her wives without any hesitation or fear of crossing boundaries. She cherishes the memory of that moment often.

Proposal Reactions:

I genuinely don’t know how these girls would propose to each other. There’s any number of possibilities; they’re all so creative. The part of me that wants to make funny cartoons would have them each scrambling to figure out the best way to propose to each other and getting into ridiculous hijinks when they try to get their friends’ help (Amity would ask Emira and Edric [and the detention gang by extension; Viney’s remained best friends with Jerbo and Barcus after all this time]. Willow I think would recruit Gus and oddly enough, Lilith [she sees Eda as too much of a mother to Luz to feel comfortable with asking her to help her propose to her daughter]. Luz would definitely ask Eda, King and Camila to help but regret it almost instantly). Of course everyone would end up tripping over one another and each proposal attempt would end in disaster but all three girls would see the resulting destruction (maybe several things on fire?) and just laugh their asses off. Because wow, this could’ve gone so much better, but hey, you guys wanna get married?

The sappy romantic in me tho. Would want them to discuss it thoroughly before hand; agree that yes they’d love to get married, they’re just not sure if it’s the right time. But Luz, being the person she is, would go and recruit everyone’s help in coming up with the best proposal ever. Willow and Amity are both busy with their respective jobs just enough to not notice all the scheming going on. And then one day when all 3 of them have the same day off, Luz takes them out for a fun day (whatever that entails; maybe a day at a carnival or just wandering around town or something). At the end of the day, she takes them somewhere significant (this could literally be anywhere, Grom Tree is a good place because of the view it has over the cliff’s edge, but yknow. Whatever suits their relationship as a trio) and everything is decked out in lights and decorations. And Amity and Willow are both stunned and enthralled by the display and they turn to see Luz down on one knee and holding two small boxes, holding one out to each of them and a super nervous smile on her face. Amity and Willow maybe accidentally tackle her to the ground when they tried to hug her.

During the wedding:

I think they’re all stressed during the wedding itself. They’re excited, of course, a whole ceremony dedicated to the three of them vowing to spend the rest of their lives together. They aren’t capable of imaging a life without each other at this point. But that doesn’t stop the nerves from settling in.

Eda’s constantly telling Luz to calm down before the ceremony actually begins; Luz is found pacing and coming up with doomsday scenarios out loud at light speed like she always does when she’s nervous. Camila and Eda are also nervous, but they’re doing their best to keep it together for Luz’s sanity. Camila’s making sure (with Emira, as Em is the Maid of Honor) that everything is going smoothly and according to plan. But she has similar nervous habits to Luz when she doesn’t have something to focus her attention on. She ends up fussing over Luz’s hair and getting rid of any imaginary wrinkles in her outfit, making sure her makeup is perfect until Eda tells her to quit treating Luz like a dress up doll. Eda’s really good at pep talks, even when she’s nervous, but she manages to calm both Nocedas down with her patented Soft Encouraging Voice.

Amity’s freaking out in her own way in a separate room with all of her girls (Emira, Skara, a fully and properly redeemed Boscha). She’s freaking out similarly to Luz in that she’s mumbling to herself all sorts of ridiculous what-ifs and wishing desperately that she could just be with Luz and Willow already because they bring her the most comfort. She’s not pacing like Luz though, she’s sitting while Emira and Skara do some intricate thing with her hair while Boscha’s doing her makeup but that doesn’t stop her from wringing her hands and bouncing her leg (something that Boscha has to tell her to stop doing every 30 seconds or she’ll mess up the makeup she’s doing). Emira’s giving her advice for every little “what-if” she can hear coming out of Amity, with some silly remarks from Boscha and Skara that actually puts Amity somewhat at ease. Having her girls acting calm and natural did help. She thanks them for doing as much at the reception.

Willow’s trying to get herself into game mode with a pep talk. No place for nerves, only well-thought action. She’s actually got Viney there with her (who had to kick Gus out because he was crying at just the sight of Willow in her wedding dress), as well as Bo and Kat (I think those are the names of the two healing track girls....someone tell me if I’m wrong, but I think Bo is the one in the Human Appreciation Society and I think Kat is the one with the glasses that played on Boscha’s team in the Grudgby match). Willow’s girls are all hyping her up like she’s about to enter a Grudgby match rather than a wedding ceremony, and the ridiculousness of it all is staving off her nerves. Viney’s also giving her own personal experience as advice; she may or may not have tripped during her own wedding and is making sure Willow knows how to avoid that at all costs.

I genuinely don’t know what the role of the Best Man is, but I know in one of my past headcanon posts I mentioned that both Edric and Gus are asked to fill that role (there’s no such thing as rules when you’ve got a human and two witches getting married on the boiling isles). I think while Emira and Camilia are helping their respective brides-to-be get ready, Edric and Gus are taking over making sure everything is running smoothly and all the guests know where to go. When they’re just sort of standing around and waiting for their next task, Gus starts tearing up again at the thought of Willow in her dress. Willow’s like the big sister he never had and now she’s getting married. Gus is constantly having to perform minor illusions on his face to make it look like he’s not about to cry or has already been crying. Edric hasn’t seen Amity yet, but he’s secretly doing the same thing whenever their minds aren’t preoccupied with whatever Event Tasks they need to focus on.

I think.....rather than a one-by-one thing, all three of our girls enter at the same time from different doors. Luz comes in from the left side door, Amity comes in from the right, and Willow comes in from the main entrance at the back. Luz is practically vibrating with nerves and excitement and the only reason she doesn’t run to the front to sweep her beautiful girls into excited, passionate kisses is solely due to her own mother’s iron grip on her arm as she walks her up. I actually don’t know if Alador has redeemed himself enough at this point for Amity to allow him to walk her up to the front, but I also think Edric would be too much of a mess to do so. I think a lifetime of keeping up a mask helps Alador maintain his composure long enough to get Amity up to the front and to take his seat before he lets the waterworks take over. I actually don’t know which of Willow’s dads would walk her up; we don’t know enough about either of them to make personality judegement calls. Whichever dad can hold it together for longer, probably.

Polyamory isn’t a new thing on the Boiling Isles; it may not be practiced as often among witches, but demons do it all the time, so the person officiating their wedding (it could be literally anyone, I have no idea. Maybe principal bump, just for funsies) knows exactly how this ceremony needs to go. They all planned beforehand exactly the order they’d kiss one another once they were proclaimed officially married: Luz would be too excited to wait and would kiss each of her girls first, Amity then Willow, and then Amity and Willow would share their own kiss once Luz had gotten that out of her system.

Honeymoon:

I don’t know enough about honeymoons to know if there’s a difference between a honeymoon and a normal vacation except Now You’re Married. Maybe they go on a grand expedition around the Boiling Isles? Maybe they honeymoon in the Human Realm? That’s exactly like the proposal situation; it could be literally anything. Far too many variables and ideas that could make it perfect for each of them. Hell, they could probably just say they’re going out and doing all sorts of stuff and actually just locking themselves in their house so they can just be together and relish in the relief of no longer needing to plan such a large and important event. They can just enjoy each other’s company as Wives now. I really don’t know.

Regardless of what they do, I think they’d be like any other person on their honeymoon: absolutely love struck and over the moon with how much they love each other. Sometimes they’ll catch one another staring and tease each other about it ( “awww you liiiikkkke meeee” “we literally just got married” “yeah I know but stiiiiiillllllllll”)

I actually don’t know what else you expect me to put here, so I guess I’ll just say they lived happily ever after, the end.

#prinxly inquiries #wam-hope #the owl house #willumity #luz noceda #willow park #amity blight #tw depression #tw mentions of suicide #only for a second tho the entire rest of this thing is so goddamn fluffy #this is another one of those hella long ones that took me all weekend to write lmao #y’all really know how to pull the super long headcanons outta me

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a-ghostlight-for-roman · 3 years

Text

how to never stop being sad

Summary: Following his brother's acceptance, Roman's life felt like it was falling apart. His family was turning against him, that awful snake was being allowed in their home, and worst of all, he still couldn't seem to do anything right, no matter how hard he tried.

How does he choose to deal with it?

Not in a good way, that's for sure.

Warnings: Gore/Death/Violence (none actually occur but it is described), food mention, cursing

AO3 link

Chapter 1

Repeat to yourself that they’re not really gone

Time has proven

That fooling yourself into believing a lie

Is the most effective way

To deal with things you have no control over

Roman was fine. Completely 100% percent, absolutely fine, and he would tolerate no thinking to the contrary. Things were abnormal, sure, but he was coping. Maybe he felt a bit (a lot) guilty for letting things in the Mindscape get so bad, but it’s okay! He’s managing! Maybe he’s surrounded by people that barely tolerate him now, but he’ll fix it!

...eventually.

Right now, though, he’s in his room. Alone, as is usual these days. Usually, he’d ask Patton or Virgil to hang out with him, but after the last video, things were… Tense, to say the least.

Patton wasn’t mad at him, of course; he wasn’t ever truly mad at any of them. However, Roman would have to be stupid not to notice the disappointed looks Patton gave him when he thought he wasn’t looking or the way that after Roman left the room, he always made a point to talk to Janus afterwards, as if he needed special attention just for enduring Roman’s presence.

Things were a little better with Virgil, but he was frustrated with Roman for tolerating Janus’ presence at all. Despite his obvious vitriol towards him, he still outright refused to talk about what exactly Janus had ever done to him. So Roman was forced to choose between Patton, his father figure who’d never meant to do him wrong (who had acted like Roman was unreasonable for sticking to the very moral rule set that Patton had imposed on him since they were children), or Virgil, who Roman had been wrong in not listening to before, & who was obviously extremely hurt and betrayed by both Janus, and now his own family.

He still hadn’t quite been able to choose, straddling the line between adhering to Patton’s kindness policy towards Janus and respecting Virgil’s feelings. It didn’t really work-- rather, it just seemed to leave them both dissatisfied. Roman could hardly stand it.

...but it’s fine. Really. It’ll blow over eventually. He isn’t quite sure how, exactly, but things always turn out alright in the end, right? There’s always a happy ending.

Except when there isn’t, but… bad endings only happen in Remus’ stories, & he doesn’t have power here in the Mindscape.

...except he sorta does, now. After his video, he’d (albeit reluctantly) been accepted. His ideas were considered, even valued, now. Sometimes, he was even chosen over Roman. Not only by Thomas, but also by the other sides, at times; Logan may think he’s slick, but Roman’s seen him specifically request his brother’s assistance in the Imagination, in the living room, in the archives, in his room- It made Roman sick to think about, and whenever he walked through the house, he could see evidence of his brother’s influence littered throughout. For the life of him, he couldn’t understand the appeal. When had society fallen so far as to value a duke more than a prince?

---

Roman hadn’t thought he’d been in his room for long; he’d only meant to duck in to get a breather after having to endure Remus’ maniacal ramblings for nearly half an hour, but it seemed he’d been brooding long enough to attract Logan’s concern. He heard a knock at his door and broke out of his haze, looking towards it.

“I apologize for bothering you Roman, but I was wanting to inquire whether you were alright. It’s been an hour,” Logan said. Had Roman really been away for that long? No wonder Logan was checking on him.

“Yeah, Specs- Sorry. I’ll be out in a minute, just finishing a project,” he lied. Logan was so cold, calm, rational- Surely he would look down on Roman’s groveling simply because he couldn't deal with his brother for more than a few minutes. As much as Roman was full of himself and proud of his work, he thought if Logan talked down to him, he’d break down and cry.

“We’re currently 'hanging out' in the common room. You’re welcome to join whenever you finish. I look forward to hearing about what you’ve been working on.” Roman could hear his footsteps slowly grow farther from the door.

Shit. Now Logan thought he’d been working on something, so now he had to do something-- he couldn't just show up empty-handed. They’d see through his lies in an instant. He’d be just as bad as Janus, imagine what Virgil would think--

He took a steadying breath. Okay, yeah, he’d lied, but that wasn’t so awful, he just had to make it right. He just had to make something, and that shouldn’t be so hard, right? That’s his job! He’ll just think of something real quick, and it’ll be done in a jiffy, and then it won’t be a lie anymore, and on top of that, he’ll have something to talk about! Talking parts were hard to come by sometimes when you had to find something that would include the two people you hate most, your former-enemy-turned-best-friend, your dad and your colleague (as he insisted to be called), but everyone was always eager to hear his new ideas, so this would be perfect.

---

It was nothing special, but it would do. He hadn’t had the time or energy to think of a concept for a whole scripted video, so instead, he’d written the next Shoutout Sunday. Simple, but it had to be done, and it was already Friday, anyways. He closed his notebook, and stood up, keeping it under his arm. He never knew when inspiration would strike, so he tried to carry it with him whenever possible. He opened his door and stepped out from his room, making his way down the hallway past the multicolored doors of the other sides, pointedly avoiding looking at Janus’ signature black and yellow-colored door. Out of sight, out of mind.

As he walked into the commons, the conversations faltered for a moment, but everyone quickly returned to what they were doing. Remus was noticeably absent; Patton and Virgil were curled up on the couch, sharing a blanket between them and speaking in excited whispers; and Logan and Janus were speaking across the counter separating the living room and the kitchen while Logan made dinner on the stove and Janus leaned with his hands crossed under his chin.

Roman lingered by the stairs for a moment, caught off guard by the lack of greeting, but continued to the side of the couch not occupied by Patton and Virgil. He’d hoped to share his script with Logan, but he was busy at the moment, and he so rarely was this casual with the others; Roman figured it better to let him be for the time being. He pulled his notebook from under his arm and summoned a pencil from his desk. If he couldn’t share his idea, he might as well get started on the next.

He spent around five minutes doodling a new creature to introduce into the Imagination when Logan finally seemed to notice he was there.

“Ah, Roman! Apologies, I hadn’t noticed you were here. What was the idea you were working on?” he asked. He turned off the stove and fully turned to Roman, looking past Janus. Roman was almost ashamed to say he felt a certain degree of satisfaction that Logan had put aside his conversation with Janus in favor of speaking with him. Keyword being "almost."

“Well, it is a most illustrious, melodic creation--” Roman sunk down from the living room and rose into the kitchen, laid his now open notebook on the counter, and gestured towards it with a bow-- “Behold, the newest Shoutout Sunday!” He smiled and rose from his position, bouncing on his feet a bit as Logan rested his chin on his hand, looking thoughtful, and read it. Logan gave a slight, satisfied smile.

“So you’ve worked ahead of schedule, then. Wonderful! Good work, Roman."

“I know,” Roman replied, beaming, “I shall have a new idea by the morn-- perhaps I can even start the next video script!”

“So long as you do not burn yourself out, Roman. Otherwise, I look forward to your next contribution.” Logan closed Roman’s notebook, handed it back to him, and then opened a cabinet, gathering bowls for… Whatever healthy monstrosity was in the pot on the stove. Roman could only guess what it was. Some sort of soup, maybe? “Will you be joining us for dinner tonight, Roman?”

“I’m afraid there are simply too many ideas and too little time, I must return to my work!” Roman replied. Janus narrowed his eyes at him from across the counter.

“I wouldn’t be witnessing any self-neglect right now, would I, Roman?” his voice dripped, cool and patronizing. It carried a lilt of care, but it was clearly faked-- Patton would have scolded him if he’d been listening. Roman rolled his eyes.

“No, I am simply dedicated to my craft! Creations don’t come from thin air, do they?” he replied. Logan tilted his head, brows furrowed.

“...They do,” he said. He raised his palm, and atop it, a paper appeared. “As you can clearly see, I’ve just summoned this piece of paper- Now, it’s not on par with many of your creations, of course, but I’m sure you understand my point. Just last week, you summoned me a new Rubik’s Cube. Don’t you remember?”

Virgil snorted from across the room, and Roman sighed. “Yes, Specs, I- I remember. I meant that metaphorically.”

“That was not a metaphor. According to Oxford Languages Dictionary, a metaphor is 'a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable.' Would you like an example?”

“Not now, Logan. I’ll be taking my leave-”

“Aw,” Patton interrupted, “why not stay? You’ve spent so much time up in your room- Now, I know sometimes we need our alone time, but spending some time with your famILY won’t kill ya!”

“Did someone say kill?” came Remus’ shrill, excited voice from by the lamp where he’d just appeared.

“Not that kind of kill!” Patton rushed, “there will be absolutely no killing on my watch, mister!” Remus put his hands on his hips and blew a raspberry at that, exaggeratedly pouting at him.

“You’re no fun,” he replied. “Nothing wrong with a little casual murder to pass the time! Everyone dies sometime, might as well make it exciting.” Patton grimaced as Virgil’s eyes went wide and he groaned.

“...Everyone dies sometime. We are going to die. Thomas is going to die. Death is inevitable,” Virgil mumbled shakily, though it was still quite loud once the tempest tongue kicked in. He put his hands in his hair, but before he could pull at it, Patton led his hands away.

“Now Remus, that may be true, but there’s no need to dwell on it, especially when you know it will upset Virgil,” Logan said with a strict tone.

“Oh oh, I wonder who’ll go first when Thomas dies? Think it’ll be all at once, or one by one? I vote Roman-”

“Won’t you just shut up?” Roman spoke up, voice raised. “You’re harming Virgil and you know it. Keep your ideas in your side of the Mindscape; We don’t want them here.” His fists balled up as he glared at his brother. Oh, what he’d give to be able to walk up to him, to punch him square in the jaw. He’d love to unsheathe his sword and bury it right in his fucking stomach, to watch the emotions flicker through his eyes as they slowly went glassy and he collapsed to his knees, the blade continuing up through his skin like it was paper, the blood leaking through his clothing and pooling around him on the floor-

Roman blinked hard, brows furrowed. No one had responded to him yet, because it had only been a moment. What kind of thought was that? Certainly not one becoming of a prince. Was Remus messing with him somehow? Roman knew he could project thoughts into Thomas and the others’ heads, but Roman had never experienced it himself-- Why would Remus give him an intrusive thought right now, especially one so gruesome as to include his own gory death by Roman’s hands? He didn’t look like he had done anything, but he had to have, right? Roman didn’t come up with ideas like that. He was light creativity, he was good creativity!

Patton must’ve noticed his distress, as he quickly looked between the two. “Oooookay,” he began, “Remus is being a little inconsiderate of Virgil. And that isn’t okay! But that doesn’t mean we don’t want him at all. Everyone messes up from time to time!”

“But he’s doing it on purpose!” Roman exclaimed. He gestured his arms towards Remus and waved them incredulously. “I mean, look at him! He doesn’t even care!”

Remus didn’t respond, continuing to stand in his spot, smiling and unblinking. Janus cleared his throat, gathering their attention.

“I’m sure Remus just loves being talked about as if he isn’t here. Regardless, it’s hardly fair to criticize him for one incident that’s a result of his function as intrusive thoughts, especially considering that you’ve shown a pattern of worse behavior over the past… What, three years?” He looked towards Logan for confirmation.

“Yes, approximately that long, although that’s a misleading usage of the information. He’s improved over time,” Logan responded.

“Only if you consider his treatment of Virgil exclusively. Regardless, you've proved my point,” Janus said, sounding satisfied. “If it took Roman three years to warm up to Virgil, why does Remus only get a few months? Not to mention that he’s just being told that he’s unwanted and to leave, you've never experienced despite your actions, and which is preposterous notwithstanding.”

Virgil finally ripped his hands from Patton and covered his ears, shutting his eyes tightly.

“Shut up shut up shut up!” he said frantically. Patton bit his lip and looked around the room.

“Listen, usually I’d encourage a healthy family discussion, but now’s really not the time to be doing this-- Roman, please go to your room. Remus, I’m not mad at you, but I’d really appreciate it if you would go ahead and leave for the night, too.”

Roman stared at Patton for a moment, mouth agape and brows furrowed. “My room- Patton, I’m not five! This isn’t even my fault-”

“Don’t argue, Roman,” Logan cut him off, “Do as Patton said. We’ll discuss this more in-depth later.”

Roman gave a loud scoff as he trudged across the room and began making his way up the stairs. He gave one last glare to Remus, who’d finally begun to move, and then continued to his room, where he fell backwards onto his bed. He closed the door with a flick of his hand, and stared at the ceiling, letting out a resigned sigh as he reminisced. Why was everything so backwards nowadays, he wondered? When had the dastardly acts of his brother become the new norm, overshadowing his own heroism and creativity?

It wasn’t as if Roman could even do anything about it, either; Patton’s decisions on what was right and wrong was like the word of law in the Mindscape. Sure, Roman could challenge his thinking, but he hardly wanted a repeat of his… Frog incident. He couldn’t bear it if he distressed him that much again. All Roman could hope for was that one day, sooner rather than later, someone would either talk some sense into him, or he’d come to the realization himself that Remus was merely a parasite to their famILY.

For now, at least, Roman could dream.

‘Patton loves me just as much as the others. He’s a dad! Dads love all their children equally.‘

‘Even if it seems like it sometimes, no one really hates me- Well, besides Remus.’

‘...And even if they do, I can fix it.’

Even if it meant lying to himself.

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angellesword · 3 years

Text

MAGIC SHOP | JJK (14)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Warnings: mention of abuse and drug addiction.

Chapter’s OST: Clean by Taylor Swift

Word Count: 4.5k

Series: CHAPTER 13 | FINAL CHAPTER (15)

Hectic was the best way to describe how the past few weeks of Hoseok's life had been going. Not only did he have to deal with the tragic death of his father, but he also needed to convince you to help him make the Kims pay for their dues.

Fortunately, he was able to do this. He felt like there's a big progress in your relationship as well. His heart swelled with appreciation when you told him that you liked staying in his apartment. It's nice to feel like you were being taken care of. Hoseok was the only family member of yours (aside from Taehyung) who didn't make you feel like you were an outsider.

However, it looked like things were back to square one again. After the Board of Directors' Meeting, you became aloof. You still stayed in his home, yet he couldn't feel your presence.

You were like a ghost. You only left your room when you were sure he wasn't around.

Hoseok was rarely home these days because he was busy running a company. As expected, your brother got the position. He wasn't just the biggest shareholder of Castle Architectural Firm, he was also its newest chairperson.

Hoseok was responsible, obviously better than his father. Taemin practiced nepotism back when he was still alive, but your brother assured you and everyone in the company that he would never repeat the same mistake of his father. After all, nepotism was the sole reason why the accident in Myeong-deong happened.

Just because Soojin was his daughter, Taemin allowed her to lead a project which she clearly couldn't handle.

You thought all the Kims were the same, but you figured Namjoon wasn't like the rest of them. For the longest time, you believed that he would do anything to save his family, even if they're in the wrong. But your view of him changed the day he revealed to everyone that he knew about Hoseok being another one of Taemin's children.

Or were you wrong? Truthfully, you weren't sure. The only logical explanation you could think of as to why he would take the sibling DNA test with your eldest brother was because he wanted to help Hoseok too.

"Hey, I just got home." Your musing was abruptly cut-off when Hoseok tapped your shoulders. "My mom and I are heading out to lunch. Wanna join us?"

You cowered, too startled to see him standing inches away from you. Damn. Were you that lost in your thought to the point where you didn't hear him come in?

You were in the kitchen, preparing your own lunch before Hoseok arrived. You were planning on bringing your food inside your room because you didn't want to be around your brother.

"Next time. I already prepared my food. Thanks though." You moved away from him as you opened the microwave, taking out a slice of pizza.

Hoseok snorted. He didn't appreciate the way you're acting right now. He was tired even though he only worked half day today. All he wanted to do was to spend time with his family. His mother agreed to meet up with him because it's been a while since they last saw each other. Jiwoo was busy traveling the world. She made time for Hoseok today though. She also said she wanted to finally see you. Apparently, Hoseok always talked about you even when you still didn't know you two were siblings.

"Uh?" Your brows pinched when your brother snatched the plate of pizza away from you. "What do you think you're doing?"

You gasped and groaned as he shamelessly threw the pizza in the trash bin. You were ready to scold him, but Hoseok was already explaining his point before you could even open your mouth.

"You've been eating pizza for days now. Do you want to get sick?" His jaw clenched as he looked at you in disbelief, expressing his concern. "You can't act like this forever, sister. It's unhealthy. And for God's sake, if you have a problem with me just say it."

You scoffed at his audacity to say these things. Hoseok was acting like he didn't know why you're ignoring him.

It's impossible.

"Really?" You shook your head because of disappointment.

You never liked conflict. Fighting with the people you loved was the last thing you wanted, but Hoseok hurt your feelings.

"You lied to me." You inhaled sharply. You couldn't cry, definitely not when your brother was still acting like he was oblivious.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He even voiced out his confusion. Hoseok crossed his arms too, brows furrowed while looking at you as if you're cruel for accusing him of being untruthful.

"Please don't do this." You whined, causing him to cackle. Don't do what? You were the one being petty the past few days. Why were you acting like the problem was with him? And what's with the puppy eyes? Did you really hate misunderstanding that much?

"I haven't done anything, sister."

"Yeah you haven't—" You quickly agreed with a wince. And then you added: "—haven't told me that Namjoon-oppa knows you're our brother too."

You expected him to flinch, to look at you with soft eyes, or to say sorry for keeping it a secret, but Hoseok did none of these.

Admittedly, he barely reacted as he asked "that's it?"

You scoffed.

"Seriously?" You couldn't help it. You gawked at him too. "We're supposed to be a team here, oppa. How could you not say something about it? And...and not only that!"

You were panting because of how fast you were speaking. It's like you had suddenly exploded.

His casual reaction was what triggered you.

"You also didn't tell me that Jungkook sold his shares to you." It's not like you minded that he was now the biggest shareholder of the firm. You just couldn't accept the fact that you didn't know anything about this. Did he respect you at all?

"Yeah I didn't." He admitted so casually. Hoseok actually looked like the conversation was boring him. You didn't expect the confrontation to be like this.

Now you just felt silly.

And annoyed.

You were annoyed that he's acting like this was not a big deal.

It was.

It should be.

"You're unbelievable." You shook your head and walked out.

Hoseok caught your wrist though. He prevented you from leaving by tightening his grip on your skin.

The stare he was giving you was cold.

"I'm unbelievable?" Hoseok chuckled, low and expressionless.

You shivered, thinking that this wasn't right. You were the one who was supposed to be mad, not the other way around.

However Hoseok was determined to make you feel like this was all your fault—at least this was what you felt as he explained to you his reason.

"I'm unbelievable because I asked for help?" He threw his head back as he chuckled in a sarcastic way. "Tell me...Would you still push through with our plan if I told you Namjoon wants to help us?"

Namjoon found out about Hoseok on the day of the accident. Seokjin was tasked to look after Sin-ae and Soojin. Namjoon, on the other hand, tried to clean up the mess. He also found out that same day that Soojin was responsible for the accident.

Namjoon knew he couldn't let this go. Protecting Soojin and tolerating her wrongdoing were two different things. He was aware that correcting a mistake through another mistake would cause more harm than good.

Namjoon was clever. He knew he couldn't get rid of all evidence so he couldn't protect Soojin by sweeping the mess under the mat. It was proven to be true when he found out that Architect Jung had the original copy of the building's blueprint and other documents that were detrimental to Soojin's case.

Apparently Taemin gave Hoseok access to a safety deposit box containing important stuff related to the company. Hoseok was the only one who knew the passcode aside from his father.

Namjoon knew right there and then that the only option he had was to help Soojin surrender to the authorities. He also wouldn't want his sister to run a company when it's obvious she's not competent enough to do it.

He didn't tell Seokjin about this though. What's there to say? Namjoon didn't really ask Hoseok about his plan. He felt like he would feel less guilty if he knew less. Namjoon's only wish was fair treatment even though he knew Soojin fucked up so bad.

Hoseok agreed. He hated what Soojin had done but at the end of the day, he was still his sister. What he wanted was to simply hold Soojin accountable. It's up to the authorities to decide what to do with her. He was just a tool that would make sure she'd get what she deserved.

The litigation was still ongoing, but they had to detain Soojin. It's because all evidence pointed at her. Your sister had multiple civil and criminal cases, one being gross negligence resulting to injury and death.

"Would you allow Jungkook to sell his shares to me?" Hoseok added, his jaw setting irately.

The look you gave him was incredulous.

"Why wouldn't I allow that?"

Hoseok was offending you. There's no reason for you to stop Jungkook from doing that because if you were being honest, the act actually helped.

"You tell me." Hoseok challenged. He let go of your wrist so he could fold his arms over his chest. "You're stubborn. You hate asking people for help. I've seen you all these years, you know? I've seen you turn your back on the people who love you. Honestly I don't know what's with you and Jungkook but it doesn't take a genius to see how much you hate the idea of him offering his hand for you to grab."

There's a pregnant pause in the air. You felt attacked. Hoseok wasn't the only person who said this to you. Taehyung did too, and you hated how harsh and right they sounded.

Was this seriously your fault?

"You like to give and give and give." Hoseok wasn't done torturing you. "But you never take and then you wonder why you're miserable all the time."

He let out a deep breath.

"You know very well now why I didn't tell you the truth. This time I want you to answer my question honestly..."

He paused just to swallow thickly.

"Why do you always refuse the love Jungkook gives you? The love we give you?" Hoseok bit his lip to stop the other question from escaping his lips.

You understood it though. You knew what he wanted to ask even though he didn't voice it out: why do you accept such abuse? From Taemin? From Soojin? From your mother?

Because it's the only kind of love I know. This was the answer to his unspoken question.

"Because it's not the kind of love I know." And this was how you responded to the question he had managed to voice out.

It took you many years, decades even, to finally admit that.

You had been keeping this reason to yourself for many years because you were certain no one would understand. People longed for unconditional love and affection, meanwhile you couldn't associate these feelings to how you viewed 'love.'

What you thought love meant was pain and suffering. It's very different from the love Jungkook made you feel.

He gave you hope, sincerity, patience, and most importantly: kindness.

Jungkook was so kind that it scared you. Because what if you got used to this feeling and then suddenly it vanished?

Would you be able to handle it? Would you be able to find something like this again?

"You won't understand it, Hoseok-oppa. You won't understand that I don't want people to save me or to give me everything. I don't want anyone to fix me." You had been saying this for a while now. If you remembered it correctly, you even told this to Jungkook. You hated when he tried to get involved in your business. Love wasn't supposed to be like that for you. It's not your love language. You didn't want that heroic kind of love, the one where your partner would drop everything just to be with you.

Us against the world? It's a fairytale.

You didn't like fairy tales.

But Hoseok snickered at this.

"Why? Are you telling me you're so used to pain that you can't stomach the idea of people loving you right?"

You didn't answer.

You were pensive: was there really a standard way of loving someone right? Some people wanted this. Some people wanted that. You didn't even think you fully understood the meaning of love.

Sometimes it made you cackle when they said they loved people without any reason. But then you also furrowed your brow and let out a puff of air when people said they fell in love with the sound of someone's smile, or the way their eyes lit up.

"I know I don't have the right to interfere. It's your life but I care for you and I want you to find happiness. You don't have to be scared anymore, you know? It's over."

He was saying that the pain was over. Soojin and her family couldn't hurt you any longer. Your father had been absolved from the criminal responsibility too.

Justice was being served.

You could rest now. You could finally think about yourself without feeling guilty all the time.

None of these was your fault. You have done your best to help.

Hoseok pulled you into an embrace. You didn't squirm against him.

"Promise me you'll talk to him, okay?"

The right thing to do was to agree, so you did by nodding your head and hugging him back.

Hoseok ended up convincing you to join him and his mother for lunch. Surprisingly, it went well. Jiwoo was sweet and soft. She's nothing like Sin-ae.

"You wanna join us for some ice cream, love?" Jiwoo asked you after lunch. She said she knew this certain ice cream parlor that sold the best mint chocolate ice cream. It's their family's go-to dessert shop ever since Hoseok was a little boy.

"Oh, I'd love to but I actually have somewhere else to be." You smiled apologetically.

Jiwoo said it's a shame but that she understood. Your brother wasn't buying your excuse though. He felt like you'd just go home and lock yourself in your room. You tended to do that after a really good day. It's a defense of yours. You were protecting your heart because every time something good happened to you, bad news would follow right after.

"Where?" Hoseok lifted an eyebrow.

"Uh..." You paused, contemplating whether to tell him the truth or not. In the end, you chose to give him a vague answer. Not a lie, but not the truth either.

"I'm just going to meet someone."

Your brother's face lit up, thinking that you were referring to Jungkook. You knew this, but didn't bother to correct him despite having zero intentions of meeting up with your best friend.

"Take care, sweetheart. Don't mind your brother, he’s just being protective. But be safe, okay?" Hoseok's mom engulfed you into a hug.

It warmed your heart. This was your first time seeing her and yet you already felt comfortable. You wished she's your mom, which to be honest, was a terrible thing to say, especially when you're on your way to visit your real mother.

It was an impulsive decision. Years ago, you swore to yourself that you would never contact your mother even if you missed her terribly. This was what your therapist recommended too, saying that you couldn't keep seeing those people who hurt you.

It's easier said than done. Having lunch with Hoseok and his mother caused a pang in your chest. The longing you felt was so intense you're convinced you'd end up having a heart attack if you didn't see your mother.

See.

You promised yourself you'd just ‘see’ her. Just a glimpse was enough. You even wore the hoodie of your jacket. You didn't want her to recognize you. You'd just observe from afar.

You doubted she remembered you. It's been what? More than a decade? Since the last time you saw her? You grew up. You were no longer the teenager who cried and begged the grownups to let you be with your mother.

The tears had dried and the shaking had stopped.

Or so you thought.

It was a shiver at first, and then your body trembled when you saw her nodding her head as she listened to the stranger speaking.

Yunhae. This was the name of the stranger. She was an addict trying to get better. Your mother and the rest of the group listened to Yunhae's story, some of them looked at her with sympathy, some of them remained impassive—like they had heard this same story a thousand times before and watched it all go down the drain.

In the end, they'd relapse. Just one taste, one sniff, one feel...and then they'd fall down the rabbit hole.

Your mother's eyes made you release a breath though. She wasn't staring at Yunhae like she'd disappoint her.

Hope. This was what you could see in your mother's eyes, however you realized that she wasn't really looking at Yunhae.

She was looking at you.

You panicked as you instantly turned away from her. She wasn't supposed to see you. She wasn't supposed to remember your face.

You were a fool for thinking this way. No mother could ever forget their child's face.

She was certain it was you even though you didn't turn around when she called your name.

You walked faster, desperate to leave the room. Sadly your mother didn't have a plan to let you go.

She ran after you, grabbing your wrist which forced you to look at her.

She called your name again. This time, uncertain. She examined your face, as if she'd get a perfect mark by staring at your eyes. The same eyes that used to look at her with so much love.

Your eyes were still soft, but she couldn't feel the sparks.

"It's me..." You finally admitted the truth when she caressed your face with quivering hands. Tears filled her eyes.

It's you.

"You're here..." And you're really here.

Was she dreaming?

"Yeah, but I need—"

"Can we talk?" She cut you off, afraid to hear you say you couldn't stand to see her face anymore. She thought you hated her and frankly, she couldn't blame you.

Hate was a strong word, but if you felt this way, she was sure it's warranted.

"Please." She begged and just like before, you gave in.

You were still weak when it came to her.

"Thank you. C-Can you wait for a second? I...I just need to—"

"Go ahead." You interjected because it's obvious she's panicking. You realized she wasn't sure how to tell you what she had to do first.

"I'll be right back." She promised before going back to her circle. Yunhae was still talking. Your mother felt bad for leaving them and asking Yoon-sung, one of the members of the group, to take the lead, but they could manage without her.

This was probably the only chance she had with you. She couldn't mess this up.

"Let's go?" Your mother smiled at you. You didn't show any sign of displeasure so she started walking as you followed her out.

Your mother brought you to the garden of the church building. You still found it hard to believe that your mother spent most of her time inside the church, but oh well. It's not like she had a choice. CA meetings were usually held in this kind of place.

From what you had heard, your mother was actually leading the CA meeting. She went from being a junkie to a respected leader.

She had come a long way.

You could see she's proud of it too.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I can't leave them without a substitute." She smiled apologetically at you.

You folded your arms over your chest.

"I know. That's why you entrusted the group to your boyfriend, right?" You refused to look at your mother. It wasn't because you didn't approve of her choice in men, but you couldn't help but be wary.

"You know about Yoon-sung?" She was flustered.

Your lips curled up. Who wouldn't have thought that you would see your mother like this? Back when you were a child, you thought she wasn't capable of feeling other emotions aside from anger and frustration.

"No, but it doesn't take a genius to know. He kissed your cheek and looked at you like—" You abruptly stopped upon realizing what you're about to spill:

He looked at you like the way Jungkook looked at me.

Your mother noticed the way you froze, but she knew better than to ask. You weren't comfortable around each other yet. She had no business teasing you or prying information out of you.

"I see. I thought Jungkook told you about Sung and I..."

You whipped your head back at her. What did she say? Did she just mention your best friend's name?

Your mother confirmed it.

"Jungkook knows about my relationship with Sung. He used to t—" But she stopped speaking when she saw confusion painting your face.

Realization hit her.

"You didn't know."

Damn right you didn't. Jungkook never told you he went to visit your mother.

"Since when?" Your jaw ticked. You weren't mad, just...baffled. Why didn't he tell you?

"S-Since you were sixteen." She gulped while you sucked in a deep breath. "He visited me while I was still in rehab...and then in prison...and then...here."

Your mother had been through a lot. Your best friend somewhat helped her through it all. But if Jungkook was being honest, he'd say that the only reason he visited your mom was because of you.

He knew how important your mother was to you. He simply wanted to make sure she was doing okay so as not to worry you. Jungkook also asked her how to help you. He was certain that some things were difficult for you.

You barely ate and slept the first few months you had been separated with your mother. Jungkook wanted to learn how to soothe you. He was aware that despite all the pain your mom had brought you, she was still the only one who knew you well.

She knew the right way to brush your hair when you're trying to go back to sleep after waking up from a nightmare, she knew the words to say to manipulate you into doing what she liked. Jungkook wanted to learn this, but not to manipulate you but to make you feel at ease.

It hurt seeing you cry. It hurt seeing you suffering. He wished he could take away your pain.

"He told me all about you. I know I don't deserve it but it's the only thing that kept me sane. Thinking that at least you're...living your life out there."

There was a lump in your throat. Had you really been living? What were the things Jungkook told her? You wouldn't know if he lied to make your mother feel better because when you were with Jungkook, you were the happiest. Maybe he saw it too. He saw how your world brightened because of his presence.

"He's a good kid. Jungkook..." Your mother wiped her tears you didn't even realize were falling. "He did the things I was supposed to do. He made you happy, he loved you, and he took care of you..."

You could see gratefulness dancing in her face. This was the first time you had seen your mother look this way. She looked happy and content. She glowed.

"I owe him one."

This information pained you. Jungkook helped you and you appreciated and hated that. How could he think about you when he was hurting too? His father died shortly after you were separated from your mom.

He offered you support and you didn’t even bother to ask him if he was okay.

Why was he like that? Why did he love you so much?

This very moment made you realize that just like your mother, you owed something to Jungkook as well.

"Yeah. Me too..." And so you found yourself saying it too. It's the truth. Jungkook had helped you in ways you couldn't even imagine.

You didn't know it but the only reason Jungkook sold his shares to Hoseok was because he didn't want to compete with you. Admittedly, he even sold the shares below the fair market value. He sold it at cost, but not because he was dumb.

He just told your brother this: "I didn't lose, sunbaenim. I won. That's just money, but what you're gonna give her is your support. Promise me you'll take care of her, that you will not betray her."

You said you didn't want him to help you so he did it indirectly. Hoseok helped him help you.

"Will I see you again?" Your mother asked after a few moments of silence. You two talked about small things for the past thirty minutes.

You already considered this a long time, especially because you still didn't trust her. You didn't have any more stories to share. You ran out of topics for small talk.

You told her your father died though, but apparently, she already knew. It's all over the news anyway.

"Uh, I'm not sure..." You winced.

You had been working home for the past weeks. You knew your boss only allowed this because you were still grieving, but it's time to go back to reality again.

"I'm thinking about flying back to New York next week." You didn't know why it hurt to say this. A part of you was begging you to stay.

"You're thinking about it..." She repeated thoughtfully, as if processing your words.

You could only nod.

"That means you're still undecided."

Were you?

Yes, you were. Because if you had made up your mind already, then why were you still here? You were finished with your job here. There's no reason for you to still stay.

Right?

"Listen, I know I'm pushing my luck here, but do you...want my advice?"

It's strange...to hear this coming from here. People who knew the real relationship you had with your mother would probably laugh if they hear her saying this.

Since when did she care about you? Since when did she care about the decision you're struggling to make?

Could it be that she really changed? Was the past decade really enough to change a person?

You guessed so—this was what you thought as you remained frozen, waiting for her to say something that might change your mind.

She did.

She said something that made your heart painfully twist in your chest, a harsh reminder of why you were alive and why you got hurt in the first place.

She did something she wasn't supposed to do, and now she wished you wouldn't make the same mistake too.

You had the advantage.

Your mother smiled—warm and gentle—as she said: "Don't throw away the love you can freely have. Some of us aren't given that choice."

#jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #best friend jungkook #jungkook best friend #jungkook best friends to lovers #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook romance #armywriterssupport

128 notes · View notes

stranger-who-writes-fiction · 3 years

Text

Gonna make full use of my ‘comic rant’ tag and roast Future State: Superwoman.

Spoilers! And yelling! Of the disgruntled kind!

So a few things at the start here: 1.) I wanted to love this book. I wanted it to be great. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt, in spite of some iffy stuff in the solicit text. So this rant is not coming from a place of having decided this was going to be awful ahead of time. 2.) My tolerance for bad Supergirl comics is pretty high! Takes a lot for me to actually come out and say that a particular issue is trash. Reader: This story is trash.

It’s not ‘middle-aged white guys writing/drawing a story about sending a minor to a potentially hostile planet fully nude’ trash, mind you. It’s the compost bin, rather than the landfill. Slightly nicer trash, but it still stinks to high heaven. Allow me to expand!

PROLOGUE - SUMMARY: ...I actually can’t summarize this comic b/c it would devolve into a lot of senseless yelling. We’ll just have to tease out this terrible plot as we go along.

PART I - DEAD DOGS TELL BAD TALES: The comic opens with Kara standing at Krypto’s grave. That’s not why this comic is trash, but it bears mentioning. Because why. Why would you do this.

PART II - IN WHICH IT ONLY GETS WORSE: So, Kara has a running inner monologue, and the main thing we gather from Kara’s thoughts is that it was Krypto who taught her to be a hero. On paper, that sounds very sweet! In practice, it reads as Kara having no moral center whatsoever—whatever good qualities she might possess, she did not learn from her parents, or her foster parents, or friends, or fellow heroes. Nor do they come from within Kara herself. Nope, t’was Krypto who taught Kara not to be a jealous rage monster. That is not hyperbole--Kara’s walking around angry about her cousin all the time and she’s like, ‘It was you, Krypto, who taught me not to judge, and to let go of anger.’ Listen, I love Krypto, but this? This is, as the youth would say, a bad look.

PART III - THOSE CERTAINLY ARE...SOME THEMES: The set-up here is that Kara is on the moon, and has established a sanctuary for alien refugees. That’s a dynamite idea! I love that! Buuuuut Kara didn’t look at the plight of alien refugees and say, ‘I want to help!’ Really, she didn’t even look at herself and say, ‘I don’t want others to feel like I’ve felt.’ No, she said, ‘Earth won’t accept me as a hero, and Clark didn’t name me protector of Earth, so. I’m out!’ (Honestly, if your moral compass is so whack that you need a dog to walk you back from Hulk-Smashing...can’t say I blame Clark for not picking you, Kara!) But apparently, the people on the moon don’t really like her either. And it is literally never explained why. There’s a whole montage of Kara fixing stuff and saving lives and all the moon folk just glare at her. This makes both the moon people AND Kara look like a**holes, because they come across as ungrateful, and she comes across as a glory hound. Thanks! I hate it! So the ‘peace’ Kara’s found on the moon isn’t really peaceful at all, cause she still resents her cousin, and people still don’t like her, in spite of the fact that she’s constantly performing acts of service for them.

Also, side note, I’m just now realizing this is an entire population of alien refugees...and Kara is somehow still the odd one out. Like, Earth I get, because everyone else is a human and maybe freaked out by the super powers. But a bunch of aliens? WHY. Why did you do this. Why did this need to be set on the moon with alien refugees if you’re not going to interrogate Kara’s identity as an alien refugee herself AND all of the aliens are inexplicably humanoid in appearance and utterly ordinary in terms of power levels.

Like. This is not the CW show, where they have a budget, and a huge ensemble cast to serve. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. AAARRRRRGHHHH.

PART III CONT’D: There’s also this weird ‘birthright’ element introduced...like, Clark and Jon stole Kara’s ‘right’ to be earth’s defender which is...a terrible reading of Kara’s modern origin. It brings in the idea that Kara is a ‘chosen one’ and because she didn’t get to be that chosen one, all of her hero work is for nothing. Never mind the whole central conceit of what makes Clark and Kara heroic...that they have this incredible power, and choose to do good with it. Nah...it’s all about her ‘right’ to protect the people of Earth! And mean ol’ Clark took that away! THANKS. I HATE IT.

PART IV - A POOR USE OF SPACE: So, all of the Future State books kind of struggle with the issue of too much exposition, which is understandable. They have to introduce an entirely new status quo in a very limited amount of literal page space, so you *really* have to have a handle on how you allocate your time and focus.

Introducing a brand new, lore-heavy heroic character who gets all of the development and dynamic art and pulls focus away from the character you’re meant to be writing is a bad use of a two issue limited series.

Like, this is a crappy Supergirl comic but it’s a great backdoor pilot for a Lynari ongoing, I guess.

Imagine if in the Jon Superman book, they introduced a random, brand new best friend for Jon, and he got the big character arc instead of Jon. That’s something you save for an arc in an ongoing title, NOT A TWO ISSUE EVENT COMIC.

Back to said new character, there’s a lot of forced attempts to parallel Kara and Lynari, but Lynari’s backstory is so confusing, rushed, and poorly explained that it’s like: okay, they’re both...angry? And the moon jerks hate them? ...uh. Okay.

(I’m gonna bring back my ‘why is this set on the moon, even’ question so that my ‘poor use of space’ header becomes a better joke.)

PART V - I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO...B/C THERE SURE AIN’T ONE HERE: I’ve already mentioned that Krypto was apparently Kara’s conscience so when Lynari’s aunt arrives to...kill them? (again, everything about Lynari’s backstory is rushed and poorly explained) Kara gets real mad and basically pulls a Gothel: ‘You want me to be the bad guy? Fine! Now I’m the bad guy.’ But thank goodness Lynari is there to tell Kara no! Don’t murder the giant aunt eel! Lynari then steals Kara’s powers and gives up the swamp jewel that’s been hidden inside their body and now their aunt is less murder-y!

WOW. Couldn’t even give the big damn hero moment to Kara in her own book, huh?

So the day is saved. It takes Kara a while to regain her powers, and it’s only then, when she’s no longer ‘above’ the moon jerks, that they’re like, ‘oh, we like her!’ There is a bit of narration about how that attitude is awful. But that narration is provided by Lynari. See, the inner monologue is no longer Kara’s thoughts, but rather it has switched to Lynari’s point of view. They’re telling us this story. And do you know why?

PART VI - WHY THIS COMIC *SUCKS*: KARA DIES. SHE’S THE FRIGGIN’ ‘SECOND GRAVE’ OF THE TITULAR ‘TWO GRAVES’

Fudge this comic to heck.

See, Kara dies on the moon, presumably of old age. She’s buried next to Krypto. And this random character who we’re suddenly supposed to care about tells us her story. Not Clark. Not the Danvers. Not Brainy. Not even one of the supporting cast members from her solo title. No one from Kara’s life is mentioned at all, save for Jon and Clark, and they’re pretty much relegated to flashbacks of Kara punching them.

PART VII - TIME TO COMPARE DEATHS, I GUESS: First and foremost can I just say that I hate that’s a sentence that I’m typing about Kara in the year of our lord, 2021. But okay: Kara’s big famous death in Crisis stopped the entire DC universe cold. Everyone paused in the middle of the destruction of the multiverse to mourn her loss and honor her (GENUINELY HEROIC) sacrifice. Clark and Barbara--two established characters with a strong connection/relationship to Kara--offered lovely eulogies.

This one: Kara gets to die of old age in obscurity after a lifetime of striving to be recognized and only achieving it by de-powering and serving a population of jerks.

Not the warm and fuzzy ending you think it is!

(Meanwhile, Clark lives for millennia and spawns an entire dynasty of Els, all of ‘em out there, protecting the cosmos. I was looking forward to House of El in the hopes of maybe seeing some Kara stuff but NOPE. Thanks to Superwoman, we’re probably not gonna see any future Kara stuff beyond this! G R E A T)

And like, the argument could be made that this ending makes Kara happy. This is the life she chooses! She wants to be alone and garden on the moon! Except, we get zero insight from Kara regarding the remainder of her life. We only have Lynari’s narration and some montage shots...nearly all of which focus on other characters. But honestly, even if we did get Kara’s side of things, I doubt it would shed much light on her feelings, bEEECAUSE...

PART VIII - SUPER BLAND: This Kara really has no personality outside of ‘detached and vaguely bitter.’ I like Sauvage, I think she’s an incredibly talented artist, but here, Kara is stiff and her expression often reads as aloof. She’s very pretty, but it comes at the expense of being expressive. (And I know Sauvage can do expressive stuff...because Lyanari gets to be expressive.) Like...I love that shojo manga vibe but this is a Kara devoid of spark and warmth.

...Like...Melissa Benoist’s portrayal of Kara is right there...

I’ve already sort of touched on this but her inner monologue doesn’t have much personality either. She’s just parroting the same, ‘I need to do as Krypto taught me!’ nonsense for both issues. Until, of course, we shift to Lynari’s narration, and lose Kara’s thread entirely.

PART IX - LET’S WRAP THIS UP: This book frustrates me to no end because it had a lot of stuff going for it. It’s got a female writer and artist--still a rarity for the Supergirl book--it’s a limited series mostly free of continuity and character baggage, and it’s not tied down to the grimdark cyberpunk stuff happening in the Gotham books. YOU COULD’VE DONE ANYTHING. And, once again, DC goes with a pitch that’s: Kara is angry, Kara resents Clark...and Kara dies.

It’s also happening...right as Kara has no dedicated ongoing title, the movie’s been shelved, the TV show is entering its sixth and final season, and all promotion has shifted to new CW and HBO shows.

*screams into the void*

MAAAAAAN I hate this book. I hate that it retroactively makes me hate the Andreyko run a little bit--a run that I took to be about a traumatized young woman forced to confront her grief, and who leans on a beloved animal companion for comfort. Here, Krypto is L I T E R A L L Y the reason Kara’s not constantly frying folks with her heat vision.

I hate that this book has made me use the word ‘literally’ so much in this rant.

I hate that this could possibly be more in continuity than Millennium.

Remember Millennium? Where Kara was in like...five pages? And she was warm, and kind, and promised to help Rose because it was the right thing to do, and oh yes, WAS PRESIDENT OF EARTH?!??! AND A CLASSY OLD LADY!?!?!?!?! WHO WAS STILL ALIVE AND KICKIN’ IN THE FAR FLUNG FUTURE!?!?!?!?!

I hate that I’m using my lunch hour to rant about how much I hate this comic.

I hate that DC editorial seems hell-bent on erasing the interesting aspects of Kara’s character to sand her down to ‘the angry one’ or ‘Batman 2.0′

PART X - LET’S END ON SOME (?) POSITIVES: Don’t read this book! Don’t do it! Don’t waste your time and money!

Instead, check out ANYTHING ELSE. If you want mom!Kara, read Tom Taylor’s ‘Last Daughters of Krypton’ in the DC Nuclear Winter special. If you want heroic oldlady!Kara, read Millennium. Honestly? Pick up anything by Bendis that has Supergirl in it. It is miles away better than this. You want angry Kara working through her grief? Andreyko, Red Lantern, even Infected. ANYTHING BUT THIS. HECK, grab Superman of Metropolis instead! That has bad Kara characterization but at least she doesn’t end up dead.

Anyways. This comic is bad. I wish it wasn’t! And this is now the SECOND TIME IN A ROW that Kara’s book ends on a terrible note before the character disappears from monthly comics for an unknown period of time.

*screams into the void again*

#SG post #future state #future state superwoman #comic rant #and oh it is a RANT

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forever--darling · 4 years

Text

the frat boy’s boxers - s.m.

college frat au: part five

warnings: 12.9k words of cursing, flirting hockey players, and being a stealth ninja

College was no joke. It was impending, heavy, and made you question everything about your worth. Stressed and unsure of every decision, balancing your time seemed impossible. You had figured that out quickly as your four other classes started and within two weeks the homework started to pile up. The lectures were long and your notes were messy and barely legible. You had no extra time to redo them and it drove you mad. It was all starting to get to your head and you hadn’t even been accepted as a sister yet or moved forward on the black op. mission. If you were already falling apart now, how were you supposed to survive midterms or finals? It might kill you, you were convinced.

From studying to talking strategies with Maggie about Becca’s next planned moves and being an ear for Emily to talk for hours about Geoff, you were easily fried. Maggie wouldn’t tolerate any of Emily’s boyfriend talk, which meant you had to, as your roommate seems too consumed in other things. All having to do with Becca Bradley. You hadn’t heard from her in two weeks. Those fourteen days gave Maggie time to prepare as much as she could, listing any possibilities or conjuring ideas of what to do to Becca once you all got in. She was so sure of the fact that she got used to ditching her usual leather ensemble for sweaters and ripped jeans, but she swore as soon as this was all over she was dying her hair again and putting her lip piercing back in.

On another note, Emily seemed consumed in her newfound fling with the hockey player. After their first date to a drive-in movie, your friend had easily become smitten. Though you all had been warned about the wandering ways of a Washington hockey player, Deja and Kiara agreed that if she were to be involved with any of them, Geoff was the best option. This was deemed true as he seemed to fall just as fast as she did and they had quickly become the news across campus. “Hockey player Geoff Warburton has a thing for freshman sorority pledge” was the gossip. He hadn’t officially asked her out but it was safe to say he would be soon with how much time they had spent together in the last few weeks. In other words, Geoff Warburton was basically a taken man.

The others continued with their fuck boyish ways waving off any idea of a monogamous relationship. As the season was a mere week and a half away, their focus was shifting slightly away from their typical bullshit. They were focused more on early workouts and captain practices. You hadn’t even thought about Shawn or seen him in weeks. Only slight glimpses across campus and the looming meeting of the two of you was still up and coming. As for the other jock, you hadn’t spoken since the scavenger hunt.

Henry seemed uninterested in you at this point and it was like the two of you were stuck in a silent fight, though there was nothing neither of you should be mad about. So he was a part of the hockey team. It wasn’t like he was entitled to tell you or needed to mention that he also was in the douchiest fraternity on campus. You weren’t even that mad about it. It was more about how he seemed to be angry at you for wanting to rush to become a member of ADPi. Was the idea of you being in a sorority that bad? You weren’t sure but you couldn’t waste time thinking about that or his lingering stares during the one class you shared.

As for Becca herself, after the scavenger hunt, initiation had become stone silent. Becca had not sprung on any of you about the next step of rushing and it left you unsettled and waiting for it every second of every day. Until now…. That impending call had come. Finally, the next stage of rushing was going to commence and you were just as nervous as the first. Make any sudden movements and you might be kicked out, killing all of your chances of becoming a sister of ADPi which meant kissing those pretty plans of yours goodbye.

This morning, you had woken up to find a pretty pink envelope slipped under your door inviting you, Emily, Maggie, and the rest of the pledges to a brunch styled meeting. Set in between two of your classes, your mind was a jumbled mess from the moment you left your dorm all the way to the end of your Psychology class that was well forgotten as you couldn’t pay attention.

It was set in the middle of campus at the courtyard near the cherry blossom trees and you had never felt so out of place, more so than the pledges dinner and the scavenger hunt. As always the few sorority sisters present were pressed and perfect without a single hair out of place and like a set of copy cats most of the pledges appeared the same. Which as you scanned the few tables was only six, including you. Your teammates from the scavenger hunt all sat among the few chairs, with combed hair and neat makeup, plates filled with food. Deja and Kiara huddled close together and waved once they saw you appear. Hana was basically in her own little world as she stared at her freshly turquoise painted nails.

Maggie and Emily sat at another table nearby, whispering with their heads bowed low, still oblivious that you finally were there. The sisters themselves stood off to the side of the two tables in a small huddle, all surrounding Becca, the ruler of all evil, herself. You couldn’t help but glance down at your leggings and a three-quarter zip-up hoodie as you saw the Chanel purse in her hand and her blush ruffled skirt. Even Maggie was dressed in a pair of nice jeans and a silk tank top. You sighed, running your fingers through your hair and adjusting any loose pieces before you sneaked over and slipped into the third chair by your friends.

Quickly their conversation died as they noticed you and offered smiles but both disappeared as they noticed what you were wearing. “What’s going on?”

“Dude, what are you wearing?” Maggie gasped, completely ignoring your question, “You couldn’t have changed?”

“I didn’t have time.”

Emily patted your arm softly as over your shoulder she found the huddle of sorority gremlins starting to disperse, “I’m sure it’s fine just act natural. You’ll blend right in.”

“Em, there are six of us, they are bound to notice,” Maggie mumbled just as Becca stepped forward, her eyes trained on the six of you, the final pledges.

“Wait,” you spoke softly, “What do you mean there are only six of us? Where are the rest of the pledges?”

“No idea, but my guess is we are about to find out,” Maggie replied through gritted teeth ending all further comments to form around the table.

You were chewing on your lip at this point, fear making itself comfortable in your stomach. Even as you tucked yourself under the table as far as you could, it didn’t hide you away from their stares. The hawk-like eyes of the power-hungry and malicious girls that you never had to deal with in high school but instead had the pleasure of meeting now. Who knew after high school, girls couldn’t get a pair and grow up. Turns out college was a lot more like high school than you could ever expect, just a much bigger playing field.

Becca clapped her hands together gaining not only the attention of the six of you, the pledges, but anyone close enough to eavesdrop. You nervously gulped too as her gaze scanned over the remaining survivors and did a double-take when they found you. She smirked slightly before clearing her throat which only made the tension so much thicker and unbearable.

“Ladies,” she spoke, putting on that overly fake tone, she only used when she wanted to impress, “It’s so nice to see all of you again. It was longer than I expected our time apart to be but there are reasons for it.”

Pausing, briefly, she snapped her fingers and like a path formed, out from the back of the group, Amanda appeared. Her hair was just as red and bright as it had been weeks ago. She handed a bottle of water over to Becca and silence washed over the courtyard as she unscrewed the cap and went to take a sip. No one else spoke and she didn’t continue until the lid was put back on the bottle and she had handed it back to Amanda.

“I wanted to congratulate you all on being the final six pledges and making it to the last step of rushing. There was one more thing we had for you to do after the scavenger hunt but since the other six pledges were disqualified we didn’t think it would be necessary for you to have to do it.”

Deja suddenly raised her hand, like a student to a teacher, and it was a surprise that anyone would dare interrupt Becca, “If you don’t mind me asking why were the other girls disqualified?”

You noticed at the simple question, Becca’s jaw lock as she took in a deep breath and answered, “They cheated their way through the scavenger hunt. Someone from outside of rushing was following you all around and repeating your answers through a walkie-talkie to the other team. I do not tolerate people who take shortcuts to win.”

The answer alone made your fear and worry disappear for a second. And within that second it gave you a chance to bask in all the glory that was Lindsey getting exactly what was coming to her. You weren’t even in the sorority yet but already Emily’s side of the plan was almost complete. She beat out her roommate and now she was only one step away from locking the deal and making Lindsey go clinically insane. There was a chance. A very slim chance that this all could work out in the end. You had doubts, many doubts but it was already headed in the right direction.

“As for the rest of you, your final challenge is here. Individually over the course of this week, randomly and at any point or time each of you will be given one task. They will all be different and something you must complete on your own. If you decide to pussy out and refuse to do it, then clearly you just aren’t Alpha Delta Pi material. But if you do do it, then you will have successfully made it through initiation.”

Chloe, Becca’s most trusted sidekick who stood proudly attached to her hip, leaned forward a playful look on her face, “From there we will move you into the house and you can start getting comfortable with how things work and the tasks we as a sorority are in charge of.”

The other girls stood silently behind Becca and Chloe, probably too having gone through such a lengthy and crazy process. You wondered if rushing was like this every year for the pledges or if they came up with new ways to torture the initiates so it was always different. Suddenly though the question seemed irrelevant as your questioning was replaced with hoping above all things that you wouldn’t be the first pledge to be given a task. You didn’t know if you could handle that especially when you had no ideas of what they could ask. They could make you do anything and it would be less nerve-wracking to have another girl or two go before you.

“Okay, so I think that’s everything,” Becca announced, pulling her purse higher up on her shoulder, “I will be seeing all of you at one point this week.”

“Good luck,” Chloe added.

“Yeah, they’ll need it,” you heard another sorority sister whisper towards Chloe or tried as it came out far louder than a whisper.

You sighed loudly, hand wiping at the sudden sweat across your forehead as one by one in a line behind Becca they began to leave, not even daring to sit down and eat some of the food. They were all laughing as they left too and you were beginning to think that this was all a scam. That maybe they weren’t trying to find new members at all but a group of freshman girls to force into doing stupid stuff to only make fun of them. It was an idea but it wouldn’t be proven true until you did such a stupid thing and find out if you were accepted into the sorority or not.

Your thoughts and silent worrying quickly came to an abrupt stop as a buzz from a phone on the table filled your ears. Eyes locked onto it, you watched as Emily picked it up with a soft smile on her face not the slightest bit affected by the sisters or Becca. But as fast as the smile appeared it was gone. Her brows furrowed and her lip found a place in between her teeth as she thought deeply. Both you and Maggie had picked up on this and shared a look before your attention solely was put on Emily.

“Em, what is it?” you asked.

“It’s me,” she responded, it coming out like a mumble but enough to get the three other girls at the next table to lean closer in anticipation, “I have the first task.”

“Woah, they work fast,” Maggie commented as she leaned over to read the text message over the blonde’s shoulder.

“What do you have to do?”

She took in a deep breath before releasing it slowly, “I have to set up a car wash on the edge of campus by myself in only a bikini.”

Maggie chuckled but covered it quickly with a cough, “Well, I can already tell that Geoff is not going to be very happy about that.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Oh, Emily, she’s fine. Geoff on the other hand not doing so well,” your roommate said as she took the extra cup of coffee you handed to her.

It was two o’clock in the afternoon and Emily had started the car wash at eleven. She couldn’t be done until four. For five hours, she was supposed to be giving out free car washes while dressed in a hot pink triangle bikini. You remembered earlier this morning the look on the girl’s face after the brunch as she was given the ensemble. She had been on the brink of having a small panic attack, but now as you looked at her across the street it seemed she didn’t even acknowledge it anymore. After three hours of wearing it, she didn’t even notice it or the creepy stares she got from the random old dad’s that stopped as they saw the sign.

As soon as it was eleven, Maggie had claimed a picnic table at the edge of campus, close enough that you could see the show from across the street. For the past couple of hours, people have been filtering in and out, between their classes, checking in to see how she was doing. In the morning it had been Maggie and Kiara. Then Deja and Hana stopped while you were stuck in your back to back classes. Now you finally had been able to stop, only to find Geoff and Marcus there as well. Maggie had mentioned that among all the chaos, Becca had stopped earlier.

She was with a few of the other girls and at the sight alone she couldn’t stop laughing. It took her minutes to calm down before she subtly raised a single eyebrow and gave a nod of approval. The action alone led Maggie to believe that Emily was in and had passed her individual test. Which meant one down, two to go. You weren’t going to lie, you gave Emily credit. You didn’t know if you would have been able to do that which only worried you. If you were scared about the first task, there was a chance they were only going to get worse from here and your’s, the one Becca decides to bestow on you, could be ten times worse than doing a car wash by yourself half-naked. There was that greater chance and it left you completely terrified.

Geoff sat on top of the picnic table, hands folded over his face like he couldn’t even watch. Though he and Em weren’t official official, you had noticed in the last few weeks how he felt just by looking at her. He seemed so much different than most of the other hockey players, even his best friend who stood on the other side of him.

“Geoff, will you take a fucking breath she is fine,” Maggie snorted as she took a long sip from her iced drink.

He shook his head as he sent the smallest glare, like a child who was being scolded, over at Maggie, “I can’t, knowing that some of those guys have already gone through the line twice.”

You laughed underneath your breath, it mixing within the sound of Marcus’s. You were only talking to the pair of frat guys because of one sole purpose, Emily. Since she and Geoff got together, the friend groups were mixing more since they hated to be apart for too long. Which was another thing Maggie was not used to… sharing Emily. She had become slightly overprotective of both her and you. After hearing everything from both Deja and Kiara, she wasn’t ready to trust all of Geoff’s intentions which only led to them bickering like siblings.

“Well, do you blame them? Look at her,” Marcus slapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder, ready to push his buttons further, “She do be lookin’ fine.”

Geoff’s glare shifted away from Maggie towards Marcus, except this time it deepened. Then all at once, he raised his fist and punched the other boy hard into the shoulder. Marcus flinched grabbing at the sore arm as a loud groan escaped from his lips, “Oww. What the fuck?”

“Don’t talk about her like that… EVER. You got it?”

Marcus backed down, his smile wiped clean from his face, “Okay, okay. I was just kidding anyway. Blame Becca man, not me, and if you’re going to act like this why don’t you just ask her out already?”

“Yeah, Geoff,” you perked up, sending your own smile over at the guy your friend was crushing on, “Why don’t you ask her out already?”

He shrugged, suddenly becoming a fumbling blushing teenager, “We’re taking things slow. We’re just trying to get to know each other first.”

“Taking things slow, mhmm okay. I didn’t know we were back in middle school! What, are you going to ask her dad’s permission first too before you take her out on another date?” Marcus mumbled underneath his breath, causing a giggle to slip from your mouth

Across the street, Emily was spraying down a soapy Honda civic with a hose, while soaked from head to toe. Her hair was slicked back into a ponytail and though she was no doubt uncomfortable, she smiled at the customer, who was a man, definitely in his early fifties, like she was having a good time.

“I think it’s fine that you guys want to take it slow,” Maggie announced getting a surprised look from Geoff, “But let’s make one thing clear. If you do anything to hurt her, I will fucking kill you.”

“I would never hurt her. Why would you think that?”

“Oh, no reason at all,” she mumbled, not bothering to meet his eye.

“No, what? Because that’s another thing, why do you always make comments like that? Like I’m bad news or something?”

At his question alone, both you and Maggie shared a look, long enough that the two other boys saw it and understood that you two had a mutual understanding. Clearing your throat, you leaned against the picnic table in between your roommate and Geoff, your gaze moving back to the car wash. Marcus and Geoff shared a look of their own before zoning in on you and you alone.

“What was that look about?”

“None of your business, Marcus,” Maggie barked.

Geoff leaned closer towards you, “Y/N?”

You sighed, giving in, “Well... you’re in a fraternity and an athlete. You are pretty popular on campus, and we’ve heard some stuff.”

“Stuff what kind of stuff? From who?” his eyes narrowed and his mouth dropped as his tone was nothing short of offended.

Maggie raised her head high, stopping you from slipping anything else to the pair of hockey players, “We’re not allowed to reveal our resources.”

Marcus rolled his eyes, “That’s code word for my sister and her friends.”

“Pfft, is not.”

“Y/N, you are a shitty liar,” he grinned, leaning over Geoff to get closer to you.

“I am not.”

“You are though,” Geoff said, agreeing.

“I am not a shitty liar,” you replied, jaw tensing.

Marcus smirked, “Okay, whatever you say, but answer me this. Has anything that they’ve said about me ruined all chances of us going out?”

“Oh, yeah,” you replied, laughter laced into your response. It seemed with Marcus the more you talked, the more flirty he got, and you weren’t the only girl he was talking to. It was flattering but you would never go down that road especially with Marcus who you loved turning down daily.

“Point proven,” Maggie pointed over at Marcus as he was shoved off of Geoff back to the other side of the picnic table and away from you.

“What do you mean by point proven?”

“Marcus, you flirt with every girl you meet like you’ll get a prize for each one you can charm into your bed.”

“Okay true,” he admitted, his smirk stretching at his own words, “But we didn’t have to acknowledge it.”

Before Maggie could say anything else to argue because it turned out she liked to argue with both of them and not just Geoff, she bit her tongue as both of your eyes fell back to the boy with long hair. His hands were once again folded in his lap and his icy orbs were focused back on the girl across the street. There was a crinkle in between his eyebrows and his lips were curled up into a pouty look. He was such a puppy dog, you had realized.

“Are you sure she is okay? Maybe, I should go over there and make sure everything is fine,” he announced, moving to stand from the table.

Instantly, as fast as he tried to stand, your arm stretched out across his chest halting all sudden movements. Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, practically begging as Maggie turned with another threatening look forming on her sharp features. “Don’t you dare move!”

“What?” his voice shook and his eyebrows rose to his forehead.

“Becca has eyes everywhere,” Maggie hissed.

“Geoff, if you go over there someone will report back to Becca and they’ll think you tried to help her. Which will kill Emily’s chances of getting in,” you explained, softly and calmly.

Slowly, he relaxed back into his previous position and you retracted your arm that was acting as a seat belt. His shoulders dropped and he went straight back to pouting. You watched his every move carefully, in case he decided to get up and make a run for it. You were prepared to go after him and tackle him to the ground if it meant Emily got a spot in the sorority. Nothing was going to get in the way, especially a love-struck hockey player.

“Look on the bright-side there, Warburton,” Marcus said as he patted his friend on the shoulder, “She’s the first one to go out of the other pledges.”

Geoff sent a cold glare over to his friend, “How is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“It’s only going to get worse from here. You know how Becca is which means that these two are going to get it far worse than Emily did.”

At his words alone, Geoff’s glare softened and was replaced by the largest grin. He laughed and covered it poorly with a fake cough. You and Maggie’s head’s slowly turned away from your friend to Marcus, the guy who had been testing your patience all day. Your mouth fell open slightly and your brows furrowed, wanting nothing more than to punch him in that moment.

His chocolate orbs looked past everyone else once again to you and he smirked proudly, “I’m not making my chances with you any better am I?”

“No, not in the slightest,” you replied, scrunching your nose at him as your glare only deepened.

“Shit! Well, I guess there is always tomorrow. Right, sweetheart?” he winked.

You were not amused in the slightest, though some days you didn’t mind the flirting and on occasion found it funny but right now it was nothing short of annoying. He was entitled and had the biggest ego just because of his athleticism and six pack. Because god forbid, girls actually wanted better for themselves than a fuckboy fraternity brother. You were starting to think finding a boy with an actual personality and a decent bone in his body wasn’t possible. Henry was the single exception but now, you were starting to think that the exception didn’t exist.

Maggie shook her head as she huffed loudly underneath her breath, “Marcus, you are such a fucking dick.”

“Thanks,” he smacked his lips as if he were chewing gum, “Right back at ya, Mags.”

“Okay, I should not be associated with him,” Geoff announced raising both of his hands for it to be noted among everyone else, “I am not like my friends when it comes to girls.”

“Alright, you keep telling yourself that man,” Marcus, cackled only for it to fall silent at the buzzing coming from his phone in his pocket. Pulling it out, he let out a noise of approval at what he saw, “Well, look at that. Okay, we gotta go.”

Geoff’s brows furrowed and annoyance dripped from his words, “What? Why?”

“Shawn’s at the rink and he wants us to come work on some drills with him.”

“Again why?” his tone deepened with both irritation and sass, “He has been on our ass nonstop lately. Coach isn’t starting official practices until next week and the home opener is still two weeks out.”

Marcus took in a deep breath before letting it out, “Dude, chill, you know how he is. He just wants us to do well this season especially since everyone is convinced we are going to win the conference and the Frozen Four tournament again.”

“Yeah, fine, whatever,” Geoff grumbled as he peeled himself from the picnic table. He looked over at you and Maggie expectantly, a single brow raised high in the air, “You’ll keep any eye on her until she’s done?”

You nodded, “Yeah, we got her.”

“In case, you forgot, we’ve been taking care of her longer than you have, Warburton,” Maggie waved, fake sweetness sounding almost too sarcastic coming from her tongue.

He just rolled his eyes at her comment as he was used to her attitude towards him at this point, “Yeah, okay, we'll see you guys later.”

“Bye Geoff.”

Expectantly, Marcus turns towards you, his arms raised as if waiting. Sighing, you send him a soft smile, “Bye Marcus.”

“See you, sweetheart, don’t miss me too much while I’m gone.”

“Oh, I won’t,” you reassured one last time, knowing it wasn’t going to make your feelings any clearer to him. He was a verified flirt and to confirm every thought you have about him, he sent one more wink before he went jogging after his friend and teammate.

Once the two of them were finally gone leaving you and your roommate in peace, you visibly relaxed back into the picnic table, elbows leaning against the table top and a sigh left from your parted lips. Maggie’s actions mirrored yours. She shook her head, drawing your attention as she frustratingly ran her fingers through her dark black hair.

“What did Emily get herself into?” she whispered, eyes once again back on the blonde across the street who herself looked to be getting tired, “You know we were warned about the hockey players and what does she do? Decides to date one. Then she drags us into having to hang around them.”

You chuckled, now knowing Maggie better than almost anyone else as you had spent the last how many weeks together straight. You knew when she was genuinely pissed off or actually bothered. Though her words were nothing short of being annoyed and angry at Emily, her tone gave away that it was not as serious as it seemed. “To be fair, I was the one who pushed her on that date with Geoff and let’s be reminded that all of this is only happening because you wanted us to rush.”

“You’re right,” she groaned, “This whole thing is on us and we are the sole cause of having to deal with Geoff Warburton and Marcus Jackson.”

“It’s not all that bad. Geoff’s kind of nice and I mean Deja and Kiara said he is the best choice if she were to be with someone from the team.”

“Yeah, except I don’t trust him. Look, we can’t deal with Em getting hurt right now. We have to stay focused on the plan,” Maggie explained.

“Yeah, I know,” you mumbled out, looking over at Emily to find her waving off the last car in the line. As soon as it was gone, her welcoming over cheery smile was gone and her exhaustion came out for anyone close enough to see.

“Fuck!”

Your head snapped back over to Maggie as you heard her cuss loudly. She stared down at her phone clutched tightly into her palms. You peered curiously over her shoulder, “What? What is it?”

“Becca texted me, I’m next,” she said as she turned her phone for you to read the text.

“Tonight at 1, teepee the Gamma Gamma Sigma sorority house.”

It was Thursday, the weekend was looming and things were closing in on you. Every single pledge had gotten their task and went through with it. Every single one of the six pledges had gotten a text, gotten through what they were being forced to do and were accepted into the sorority with open arms, except for you. You were the last one standing, the one left waiting for her task. Waiting and worrying about the humiliation that would come with that text and whatever it would say. They only did get worse just like Marcus had said and by Wednesday when you were officially deemed the last pledge he laughed in your face.

On the first day, Emily set up a car wash in nothing but a bikini. That night, Maggie tee-peed another less popular sorority house. The next night Deja egged the least liked professor’s car. Then on Wednesday, Hana had to set up a kissing booth. Hours later that night while at a football game, Kiara had to run out on the field and moon the quarterback.

It only got worse, which meant what were you going to be made to do. It was Thursday and you were the last one. The week played in your head over and over, all of your friend’s humiliation or almost getting into trouble flying around your mind. How they felt and how they all got in and now were a part of the sorority. It was all bringing anxiety into your life, in a way you hadn’t felt in years. You were terrified and beyond scared about a one sentence text you were waiting to get from a college girl.

All of this happened to be on your mind as you sat in your Cellular and Molecular Biology class that morning. You needed above all to pay attention if you had any hope of passing the next lab but all you could think about was hockey players, roommates, and horrifying sorority sisters. You were thinking about how stressful it was which only made you more stressed the more you thought about it. It didn’t help that you got a text from Kiara in the group chat saying that there were videos and pictures of her pulling her pants down at the game floating around online. Your class no longer was of as importance as your worry trumped it easily.

Finally, as the time seemed to pass the professor dismissed the class. Jumping from your seat, you desperately weaved your way through the crowd towards the door. You were running on three hours of sleep and one cup of coffee and were sure that whatever Becca had planned you wouldn’t be ready. A jumbled mess, more texts began to flood in. Emily. Maggie. Kiara. Deja. Hana. You needed to get to your dorm room, as it had become your safe haven from the campus and the world. You would calm down as soon as you were in that room and you could unplug from this college massacre.

As another text came in from Hana complaining about how her bottom lip had gotten cut from kissing the president of the chess club, you began to pick up your pace into a fast walk. The sun was lingering through the clouds and the wind was hitting you in the face which eased the slight panic attack building in your chest. You were glancing up and down from the sidewalk to your phone as you tried to respond to the texts with your notebooks slipped between your side and elbow.

You were not paying attention as your mind was locked onto the phone screen in your hand and each terrifying sentence sent in from your friends. Each getting worse by the second. Suddenly, walking with your phone out seemed just as damaging as out of nowhere you collided straight into someone else like an intersection crash.

Notebooks went flying in the air, loose pieces of paper flew out. They floated slowly down, raining over you as your notebooks slapped against the sidewalk at your feet. Sighing, sadly, you shoved your phone into your pocket and dropped to your knees. Hands dancing for all of your stuff, you were trying desperately to catch your breath.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” you sputtered out as you reached for your scattered notes.

The vibrating from your phone had quickly became ignored and every text disappeared from your head-space as the sound of a bag dropping to the ground let out a loud thud, startling you. Glancing over at the black duffel bag, you felt a sudden intake of breath as the person crouched to help pick up your mess. “Don’t worry about it. It’s all good.”

Just like that, other things were thrusted in your line of sight, making your head spin and shake with all new thoughts. You were no longer worried and on the verge of having an all out panic attack. Your breath was cut short for a whole different ray of reasons and as he spoke, it felt like you would never be able to release the breath you were holding.

You were frozen, unable to move, or think as he continued to pick up your jumbled and barely legible written notes. His head was tilted down, focused on the task at hand but would spare you a glance here and there which only made your stomach lurch up into your chest. You were already a mess way before and he was not making things better in the slightest. Your head was a mess itself so trying to talk or have a conversation at this point was borderline impossible.

The hockey player was dressed in the same white hoodie that he wore weeks ago, his name and number printed on the back. That familiar red flush to his skin was nowhere to be seen like you had seen it at the rink and up close you had to agree with Kiara that he was completely gorgeous. She wasn’t wrong and after so long not wanting to admit it, you knew she was right. It was the way, his hair even when it didn’t look brushed seemed styled and didn’t have a stray of hair out of place. Or how he had a small scar on his cheek that seemed less like a flaw and more like a perfection. Or how the gold chain he wore around his neck and tucked into his shirts was now revealed to be a St. Christopher pendant.

There were so many more things you could name in your dizzy state but you were having an issue focusing on saying them as his eyes, his warm almost golden eyes flicker up at you. His long eyelashes brushed his cheeks with each time he looked back down to his hands where he continued to pick up your shit, that you had dropped upon you running into him because you weren’t paying attention where you were going… again. That single ‘S’ shaped curl fell across his forehead. Except this time, it appeared a little shorter making you wonder if he got a haircut.

You were staring and it was evident as he had picked up the last of your notebooks and met your gaze. He wasn’t even surprised to find you already looking at him and as his warm brown orbs found yours, that aching knee-weakening smile appeared on his face. The kind that will make your body tingle every single time and your brain to malfunction and turn to mush. As you saw that smile, up close, in person, and directed at you, it snapped you back into reality. This was Shawn Mendes.

He wasn’t just some cute guy on campus you stumbled across. He wasn’t a nobody. He was the guy. A somebody. His face was littered across campus on every poster and sign you saw. He was the star who scored the winning goal at the Frozen Four last year. His figure alone demanded attention. He was the frat boy at the party who had all the girls’ attention and usually took one home at the end of the night. He was known as Becca Bradley’s main hookup and forever dream man. He wasn’t just a normal guy as much as you wished he was. And above all things, he was the only man on campus you wished and dreaded to eventually meet because you knew like everyone else you would fall for him and that damn smile.

Blinking, you snapped yourself out of the impending staring contest and lingering silence. You stood up from the ground, clearing your throat and wiping the dirt from your leggings. At the sight, you internally groaned because on this certain day you wore a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie. Your hair was tangled and falling out of the makeshift bun you made quickly this morning at the back of your head. You couldn’t bother with makeup or a mint after your coffee and knowing that the guy was in front of you, you felt very self-conscious.

Shawn grabbed a pen that had fallen out from your notebook and handed you the materials as he stood up. You visibly gulped as you noticed him now looming over you. He was tall, so much taller than you expected, now that he was in front of you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, glancing around the two of you to see so many people staring at the interaction.

All of a sudden you became very aware of how many eyes were on you. As Shawn Mendes, captain of the hockey team, was seen talking to some girl who wasn’t either Becca or anyone remotely known around here. A freshman instead. It seemed whatever these people were doing, whether it was walking, or sitting and studying or just minding their own business became a thing of the past. They were focused on you, now. Waiting and watching to see if anything happens because god forbid they miss Shawn have a conversation with any girl on campus.

“Yeah, you okay?”

He looked you over carefully from your scattered appearance to your wandering gaze at everyone around you. The anxiety in your eyes had heightened to a whole other level and he could see it. Taking a step forward, he bent forward enough until your gaze snapped back into his direction. Once his golden orbs became what you focused on, you relaxed slightly but not enough to ignore the scratching stares on your back.

You cleared your throat, your next sentence coming out small and quiet, “Uh, yeah. I’m okay.”

He was still smiling as he bent over and picked up the duffel bag from the ground. He swung it over his shoulder, eyes never leaving you. Hugging the books to your chest, you were squeezing them so tight, your knuckles were turning white. Your head was pulsing and it suddenly felt like two worlds colliding that shouldn’t be.

“I’m Shawn, by the way,” he grinned as he scratched at the back of his neck, that pink tint returning to his cheeks suddenly, taking you by surprise, “I didn’t know if you knew that or not but uh yeah.”

For once, since the week had started a giggle had slipped from your lips and from all of the people it was because of him. It still couldn’t process in your mind that after weeks you were finally talking to him and that you were officially meeting him. It just seemed so weird because he had always been in arms length but you could never reach each other. The timing was never right and now by chance you had just ran into him. The world worked mysteriously and quietly and you weren’t entirely sure with how you felt about this action they pulled.

“I knew,” you nodded, that smile seeming to be permanently imprinted on your lips in front of him, “I’m Y/N.”

“You’re a pledge right? For ADPi? I’ve seen you around,” as soon as he began he became a stuttering mess and you were confused if this was actually the legendary hockey golden boy of campus or someone else, “Not that I’ve been actively looking for you or anything. That would just be creepy.”

You laughed again, “Right, uh yeah I am a pledge.”

“How’s that going? I mean it’s Becca so…” he trailed off, shrugging and careful of his words because if you knew who he was, he knew you were probably aware of his involvement with the president of your hopefully soon to be sorority.

“Yeah, it’s uhhh…” just as you went to answer with whatever came to your mind first, your words stopped altogether at the vibrating from your phone in your pocket. It had gone quiet for a while but now it was picking up again as the girls never knew to shut up. You sent him an apologetic smile as you reached into your pocket and took it out.

How the universe liked to pick their moments, you thought. As you stared at that screen, you realized that your bad luck and not been all dished out yet and that God was still saving some to give to you at random. It was convenient that was the only thing you could think as you stared at that text message. Your demeanor had gone back to worried and anxious and a physical mess. That smile, that soft smile you had been unable to get rid of and suddenly seemed reserved for the frat boy in front of you was gone. Your reality had been kicked straight back into your face and you wished that you could go back to sleep in a place where Shawn Mendes was nervous around you and Becca Bradley did not exist.

“Y/N?”

You couldn’t look away from the message and your throat had suddenly become very dry. Your mouth parted slightly and you were convinced the world was ending and that there was no way you could pull this off. “I uh, I’m sorry but I have to go.”

Even as you were on the verge from running away from him, he still smiled that damn large beautiful smile and it made your stomach clench all at once with one look. Suddenly, that shy college guy had turned back into, with the flick of a magic wand, what you expected him to be. He smirked that signature arrogant look and he casually slipped his hands into his pockets. “No, you go. I get it. Becca calls and you run. It’s the drill.”

Silently, you sent him a look of gratitude though you didn’t appreciate his cocky response whatsoever but you couldn’t worry about it at that moment. Just as you slipped past him though, your name once again echoed into your ears, and it was coming from his lips. “Y/N!”

You looked shyly over your shoulder, still consumed with worry and doubt to face that smirk and those gorgeous eyes. He nodded softly and in a single look that smirk dropped into the softest smile you had ever seen, “I’ll see you around.”

The only thing you could muster was your own smile as your heart had been pushed from your chest into your throat making you unable to speak. You shared one more look before you turned and continued to make your way to your destination; your dorm. Even though you could barely fathom that you had finally met Shawn Mendes it did not compare to what you were feeling now as that one sentence alone was now going through your head on repeat.

STEAL sophomore hockey captain Shawn Mendes’ boxers without getting caught…

“Y/N, just take a few deep breaths for me, okay. Everything is going to be fine. Right Mags?”

Emily looked desperately to Maggie for help as they stood in the doorway of the closet to find you sat underneath the clothing rack, your head put in between your legs. Your breathing was scattered and uneven and they weren’t sure how long you had been in there as they had found you when they walked in.

“Y/N, you’re going to be fine. This is nothing we can’t handle,” Maggie said, staring down at you intently.

You sniffled and lifted your head to face your two friends. Emily’s eyes screamed worry as Maggie waited patiently. Tears filled your waterline as finally after weeks from being away from home, everything was finally setting in and you were beyond overwhelmed. You shook your head wiping the water from your eyes before they could fall down your face.

“Nothing, we can’t handle, you’re joking right?” you laughed sadly, “How am I supposed to steal his boxers? Anyone have any ideas because I am the clumsiest and loudest person. Nothing about me screams stealth ninja. Which means, I’ll get caught and he is going to think I am some weirdo and tell all of his friends. I will then become the laughing stock of the whole school.”

“At least, we’ll all be getting laughed at together,” Maggie shrugged.

You stared at her silently, a small glare evident in your eyes. Emily glanced between the two of you before she dropped to her knees and rubbed your arm softly and comfortingly, “What she is trying to say is that none of what any of us had to do was easy. We were all forced to do these things we didn’t want to do and we all are getting made fun of because of it.”

“Yeah, in case, you forgot Emily was basically naked and cleaning strangers cars. And Kiara showed her butt to the quarterback in front of most of the school and Hana kissed all the guys from the chess team twice. We’re all embarrassed and we’re all getting laughed at,” Maggie tried again, sinking down to sit on your other side, her back leaning against the closet door, “And this is all because of Becca which means we haven’t gone this far for you to back out and ruin everything. I almost got in serious trouble for this so let’s stand up and pull ourselves together and do this because I know that you can.”

Taking in a deep breath, you closed your eyes and sniffled one more time, letting for the first time all day your anxiety slip away. When your eyes fluttered back open, you nodded with a soft smile which brought one on each of your friends’ faces. Maggie’s quickly grew into a huge grin, one where her eyes squinted and her dimples showed. You had yet to have seen one so big.

Sending you a wink, she clapped her hands together, “Okay, so now that we have that settled we need to get you ready. If you are going to be going on a black op. mission, that means you also need to dress the part.”

“Oh god, what do you have in mind?”

She didn’t respond but only wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

Hours later, at dark, the three of you found yourself making your way back over to the sorority house as Becca demanded to see you beforehand which was different from what she had done with the other five pledges. After all, you were the last one though. You were feeling better since earlier that day when you previously had gotten the text. Once Maggie and Emily had given you a pep talk, you realized that you couldn’t go into this thinking you couldn’t do it or that you weren’t going to be able to do it. You had to go into this being positive and doing everything you can to make it possible to steal those boxers.

Your confidence had come on quickly and as promised Maggie wanted you to look the part. Putting on a pair of black leggings and black long sleeve shirt, you suddenly felt like you looked the part. Your hair was pulled tightly into a sleek high ponytail and there were two smeared lines of eye black under your eyes, reminding you of the softball days. At first you protested, knowing that Becca was going to make fun of you but as you left you decided to not give a shit because all that mattered was that you proved her wrong and got through this final task of initiation.

Entering into the house, you found the girls littered out into the living room, no doubt waiting for you. Stepping in, you stiffened up. You crossed your arms over your chest and stood with your head held high. Maggie and Emily stood off to the side from you grinning like two proud parents. As for the other three pledges, they were busy getting their stuff ready to move into the house and once you told Maggie that Becca had texted you, it was getting sent out into the group chat ASAP. They were sending wishes of luck and love your way from across campus.

The sorority girls’ attention finally fell to you and their phones and boring conversations had quickly been forgotten. Some of them laughed, unable to control themselves while others whispered. Becca appeared from down the hallway, dressed in her typical attire. Short skirt and cropped shirt. Heels on her feet, clicking against the tiled floor, though there was no one there besides her sisters to judge on what shoes were on her feet.

As soon as her eyes fell on you though, a loud laugh bursted from her mouth, “Oh wow, this is too good. I knew I had given you the right task. Love the outfit.”

Taking in a deep breath, you let it out as your arms fall slowly to your sides, “Okay, so what else is there?”

Her head tilted to the side innocently as her manicured fingers folded together over her stomach, “What do you mean?”

“Well, you called me here so I have to believe there is more to this than just having to steal Shawn Mendes’ boxers. So what is it?”

“Oh, honey, no,” she waved you off as another icy giggle made its way from her lips into the air, “I just wanted to come with and watch. Each pledge gave me some sort of show and secretly this has been the one I have been waiting for. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss it.”

It was late, dark, and the sun was no longer looming over campus. Your pulse quickened and your palms were dripping in sweat as you stared up at the three story house. The window was left cracked open and you watched as the breeze swayed the white curtains from side to side. This was insane and beyond anything you had ever done but you knew it was unavoidable. If you wanted to get into Alpha Delta Pi, it had to be done.

You could feel the lingering eyes of the sorority girls as they crouched behind a line of bushes and you internally cursed. Emily had to set up a car wash by herself, Maggie had to teepee another sorority house, and those both sounded better than this; standing in front of frat boy central, forced to steal sophomore and hockey player Shawn Mendes’ boxers

You almost couldn’t breathe properly and everything was hitting you at once as you finally had a minute to process the whole thing. Even then as you stared up at the brick house and the lights that illuminated from inside, you knew you could do this. You weren’t sure but you were pretty sure. After all, what was this? Really? How much of this was going to decide your future or even matter in the next five years. The answer was nothing. It would mean nothing. Instead, it all just felt like a game, a shrivel in time that seemed completely irrelevant against the bigger and more important moments in life.

There was no way you weren’t going to do it. You knew it as you stared up at the slightly cracked window and were aware of your two friends behind you. It was maybe not going to matter in a year or maybe even now but that wasn’t going to stop you. Not even the exhaustion or the emotional wreckage would keep you from getting inside that house. Almost a month into the semester and you were drowning yourself.

Shaking your head to rid all of your thundering thoughts, you squeezed your fists together and decided to say fuck it! Taking a deep breath, you darted forward without so much as looking behind you at the girls hidden in the bushes. Tiptoeing forward along the side of the house, you hopped up and over the short fencing that led to the backyard. You landed softly in the grass on the other side and suddenly, you were on high alert. Hugging the wall as you walked, your eyes were darting everywhere from the backyard to behind you as you now felt like you were on the verge of being caught.

The large backyard was empty besides the trash cans full of beer cans, the white fold out table used for ping pong, and the bonfire pit. No, Pi Kappa Alpha boy was in sight and it eased your worries somewhat. Sliding around the corner, the back of the house came in view exactly with one sliding door and three possibly unlocked windows. You took a risk and headed for the glass sliding door and peered in. The basement was carpeted with leather couches, a bar, and a pool table. As for the large room, there wasn’t a person in sight. Grabbing at the outside handle, you sighed with relief as it gave away when you pulled and it opened slowly. Once the opening was large enough, you slid in and pulled it shut behind you as quietly as you could.

You looked left and right before you began to make your way slowly across the lit room to the staircase and walked up them. The door at the top of the steps was left open and ajared. Leaning forward, you stuck your head out to again be met with a silent hallway, lights all on and not a voice or other person heard.

Your nerves had returned and the hair was sticking up straight on the back of your neck as you stepped into the hallway. It was short as on one side led to a kitchen where there were uncleaned counters and the sink was full with dirty plates. On the other side there was a bathroom and a bedroom or two. Checking once more that those rooms were clear and didn’t appear to be the hockey captain’s, you walked forward and the hallway brought you straight out into the front living room which was the first thing seen when you entered through the front door.

Just like the basement it was littered with a few nice but slightly torn up couches and a big screen TV. Empty cans and cups were left scattered across the coffee table and there were random articles of clothing tossed around the room. Your nose scrunched up in the air as you finally took notice of the musty and suffocating smell that appeared when a bunch of boys decided to live together in a barely cleaned house. Another staircase caught your eye right next to the front door that led upwards to not doubt the third and final floor of the house and where the remainder of the bedrooms were. You cracked out a smile as you made your move for them.

Before you could even make it to the first step though, the front door opened. Panic appeared on your face and your eyes widened like saucers as two voices filled the otherwise quiet room. Just as it swung open, you dropped to the floor behind a large L-shaped black couch.

“Dude, why did Mendes have to schedule another evening practice? We already had three this week,” the first guy said, the voice unrecognizable to you.

The other one responded quickly as the sound of two bags being dropped onto the hardwood floor echoed in the room, “I don’t know because whatever captain says it goes. At least it’s over and we’re the first one’s home because I want a shower.”

“I want a pizza, should I order one?” the first one asked.

“Fuck yeah.”

Crawling to the right end of the couch, you peeked from behind it to see the two hockey players' backs as they headed for the back hallway you had come from initially. They were sweaty and practically limping showing just how exhausted they were from being pushed day in and day out by their team captain a week before official practices were set to start. Once they disappeared from sight, you glanced back at the front door to see no other hockey players appear and knew this was your chance. Standing, you darted for the stairs and climbed them quickly and as you hit the top step you heard the door fly open again and a chorus of more voices filled the house.

A loud gasp ripped through your throat as you heard a few pairs of footsteps following you up the stairs. Your head began to snap back and forth at each doorway you saw on either side struggling to pick one to go through. You stumbled down the hallway until you grabbed at the knob of the last door on the left. With one push on the door, you were falling into the dark room so out of breath as the voices only seemed to get closer from the staircase. You couldn’t recognize who the players were and weren’t worried about it as you were solely focused on running and not getting caught.

Peering through the dark, you were able to piece together the room from the large queen sized unmade bed to the desk pushed against the opposite wall and an additional door to the room’s very own bathroom. Stepping forward your foot suddenly caught on something sending you tumbling to the ground. You mentally cursed as a loud thud sounded in the room meaning whoever stood on the other side of the door and in the hallway would have heard. Face smooshed into the carpet, your fingers touched lazily at the object you tripped over which happened to be a small pile of laundry. Through the dark, your fingers traced over what appeared to be a t-shirt and as you squinted, you were able to see the familiar number eight and Mendes written across the back of it.

By chance you had stumbled into the right room and then of course tripped and fell, but at least you were in the right room. Then with the amount of clothes scattered along the floor that meant there had to have been a pair of boxers somewhere. You freeze though as fast as you had fallen, the fabric of the t-shirt threaded in between your fingers as the sound of the door handle being turned set off an alarm in your head. Then when the light clicked on, you crawled and crawled for dear life until you were under the bed.

The shirt was still clutched tightly in your fist and you were holding your breath as the voice you had heard hours ago for the first time once again filled your ears. “I think that was a good practice. Do you think that was a good practice?”

The second voice turned out to be just as familiar as the first and you couldn’t help but smile knowing exactly who it was. Geoff. “Yeah, except for the fact half of the guys almost passed out on the ice.”

“Okay, my bad,” Shawn sighed as that duffel bag he had been carrying earlier was dropped onto the ground right next to the bed. Your eyes followed it before they went back to the two pairs of feet in the room. “Man, I just want to have a good season. I don’t mean to be THAT captain but I just-”

“No, no I get it. You don’t have to explain. I want to have a good season too.”

“Thanks, Geoff. So...” Shawn clapped his hands together before changing the subject all together, “How’s things going with Emily?”

You swear you could hear the smile in Geoff’s voice when he talked which gave away truly how crazy he was over your friend, “Great, amazing, I don’t know. Dude, she’s just... I don’t know. I really like her.”

“I’m happy for you, man! You deserve it.”

“Thanks, except I might have to have a word with Becca though. I mean what she made Em do was crazy and humiliating,” Geoff snapped his voice rising slightly at the end.

The hockey captain chuckled slightly, “Well what did you expect? It was the same way last year for the pledges and she will do it again to the ones next year. That’s just how she is.”

“Yeah, but still Emily just isn't like Becca or the other girls. Neither is Y/N or Maggie. I just don’t get why any of them wanted to rush.”

“Speaking of, I met Y/N today.”

At the mere mention of your name, your eyes widened and your hand clasped even tighter around the shirt. Your mouth parted slightly, waiting and completely on edge wanting to know what this drop dead gorgeous guy was about to say about you.

“Shawn!” Geoff warned.

“What?”

“I know that look on your face and don’t!”

“Don’t what,” Shawn said, laughter heard in the simple two words he said.

“Do what you always do. Okay, she’s not like every other girl you get involved with,” Geoff explained and in that moment there was nothing you wished more than to see the look on either of their faces as they spoke, “Y/N is nice and one of Emily’s best friends, so stay out of her pants.”

Was Geoff seriously being protective of you? It sounded like it and suddenly everything you had thought about him; being a hockey player and frat boy meant he couldn’t be boyfriend material. Or that he was just using Emily. Or that he was built like all of his friends. All of that disappeared because in that sole moment you knew that he was a good one. Geoff Warburton was a good guy and deep down more than anything you hoped that Shawn Mendes was too.

“Yeah, Geoff I know Y/N is different and you’re so right. Even with just meeting her I realized she isn’t anything like Becca or any of those other girls. I don’t know there is just something about her-”

Your breath was stolen and you knew this was a position you never expected to find yourself in; hiding under the hockey star’s bed as he gushed about you to his best friend and teammate.

“Which is why you should stay away from her. I have enough to deal with keeping Marcus away from her and I can’t be in charge of you either.”

“Okay, but honestly, we both know I would be a better option for her over Marcus any day,” he joked.

“Shawn!”

“Okay, fine, alright. I’ll stay away from her since you asked me too.”

Geoff’s feet stepped for the door and a moment of silence passed between them and you were starting to worry that maybe they saw you or they finally remembered the thud they had heard earlier. You were toast. That’s what you thought, but when you thought you were going to be pulled from under the bed with all chances of becoming a sorority member of ADPi being ripped from existence, it never did happen. “Okay, now that we are on the same page. I am going to shower because I need to meet Emily and she won’t like it if I’m late.”

“Have fun!” Shawn called out as Geoff stepped out of the room and into the hallway, “Do you need any condoms? It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“Goodnight Mendes.”

Shawn laughed, one of those belly laughs that instantly could make anyone else in the room smile and happy. You were trying to hide your own smile from under the bed as his previous words about you were being repeated over and over in your mind. Suddenly, though the task at hand became your focus once again as you heard the door shut and then lock. He walked forward towards the bathroom and the sound of the shower being turned on made you tense up all over again. This was it, you decided as you found no pairs of boxers slipped under the bed or on the floor. Music filled the bathroom, Drake’s voice filing out into the next room. The hockey player spit the words of the song underneath his breath as he kicked off the shoes on his feet. Each one being placed at the bottom of the bed and then one by one his socks.

The process was painfully slow and you were close to sneezing from the amount of dust bunnies tickling at your nose. You also knew deep down that if you weren’t hidden underneath his bed and you were there able to watch the show, it would be less painful. Instead, you had to imagine what each sight was when a new article of clothing was stripped off. When the sight of his sweaty practice t-shirt hit the ground, you had to fight a groan from slipping out because of how much you wanted to peek your head out and look.

It became even harder as that shirt was joined by his sweatpants. You were starting to count the seconds of how long it took him just to slip off those boxers and by the time you got to five they were at his ankles. He kicked them off his feet and the black Calvin Klein boxers were left near the rest of his discarded clothes.

A small smile lifted at the corners of your mouth because of how close you were to pulling this off. That smile dropped quickly though and your jaw hit the floor as he moved away from the bed to the bathroom where you were able to see his full backside. His curls were fluffed up and at each step, you could see the way his back muscles rippled and tightened. Not to mention his ass, oh god, you swear you were close to drooling. Athletes and guys who worked out really did have the best butts.

As he pulled back the shower curtain and stepped in, you turned your eyes back to the prize sat right before you. Shawn Mendes’ boxers. This was it, you decided. Sliding out from beneath the bed, you hopped to your feet and snatched up the black thin fabric. Bunching it into your hands, you made a beeline for the partially cracked window in his room, knowing you wouldn’t be able to face trying to go back downstairs to the sliding door. Plus, you remembered seeing a ladder leaned up against the side of the house up to the roof. Your escape plan was now put into motion. Glancing back over your shoulder one more time to make sure he was still safely in the shower, you slowly pulled up the window enough for you to climb out.

You stepped out onto the roof and moved slowly towards the side where you remember where the ladder was sat. Except when you peered over to where it was initially standing you found it nowhere to be seen. You looked over to where the girls had been standing before behind the line of bushes to see they were no longer there. Not even Maggie or Emily was there. You knew that Becca must have taken the ladder because there was no way it had just disappeared. She wanted to make this as hard as possible for you and was set on you failing which only made you determined in the end.

Taking in a breath to resettle yourself, you began to move around the top of the roof to try and find a second escape route. You didn’t know how long you had been up there for but as you tried to sneak past Shawn’s window again, you jumped as you found him standing in his room, towel hung low around his hips and staring at his phone. You suddenly couldn’t move, unable to run as you stared at him, water dripping down his chest and curls pushed back out of his face. He was a daydream and a drop of heaven and you had his boxers in your hands.

You were snapped back into reality as he moved towards the window and he lifted his head. Without thinking you dropped to your stomach but as soon as you landed on the roof you began to roll. Unable to grab onto any of the shingles, you rolled right off the roof and in mere seconds of falling off the three story house into the yard, your hands caught the very edge.

You hissed as the material scratched at your fingers and your feet swung back and forth. Looking forward, you found yourself hanging right in front of a window on the second level of the kitchen. You peered down to see that ground still seemed so far away, but it became your best bet quickly as one of the boys moved past the window. It was Marcus, and just as he went to look out of it, you let go and dropped. It felt endless and like you were going to die for sure before out of nowhere your feet meet the ground. Your knees bent slightly and from the harsh pressure, your left ankle rolled from under you.

Collapsing to the ground, pain shot up from the area and you cursed loudly. Your hands reached at the skin feeling it pulsing and already starting to swell. Of course. Bad luck. This was stupid. Stupid. Why did you sign up for this and why would you go through with it?

Rolling your eyes, you took a minute or so before you picked up the pair of boxers on the ground next to you and slowly pulled yourself up. Walking was brutal and you had acquired a limp as pain shot up from your ankle with each step you took. You had risked something so much worse for a pair of boxers and what could only resemble a DARE. If you didn’t get in, you were going to kill Becca for sure.

The whole walk back to the house felt horrifying and like your foot was being ripped from it’s socket. As you limped up the front sidewalk, you found your two most trusted companions sat on the outside step completely silent. They waited for you, worry shown on their faces. Maggie tapped her foot against the concrete ground while Emily chewed relentlessly on her nails. Both of their heads lifted from their gaze on the ground at the sound of your dragging steps.

They jumped from their spots on the step as they quickly noticed you struggling to move. Rushing over, Maggie grabbed you by your arm while Emily stared down at your wrecked ankle. “Oh my god, what happened?”

“Em, I’m okay. I’m fine, I just took a small fall.”

“A small fall,” Maggie scoffed, “You can barely walk.”

“Okay,” you half smiled, “It was kind of a big fall.”

“Look,” Emily started her brows furrowed in that way they did when she was scared, “We wanted to stay until you came out but Becca forced us all to come back and when we tried to stay she said she would automatically just end your rushing process.”

“No, no, it’s all good, but I’m guessing she was the one who moved the ladder that was on the side of the house.”

“Uh, yeah,” Emily cringed, “We’re sorry.”

“No, seriously, Em it’s okay I understand.”

Maggie rolled her eyes and butted in once she knew you were alright, “Well?”

“Well,” you repeated her word, putting on your best poker face.

“Did you get them?”

A large smile tugged at your lips revealing your teeth as a small giggle slipped out, “Damn straight, I got them.”

Revealing the pair of boxers you were hiding from behind your back the other two girls squealed and pulled into a bone crushing hug. You had done it. All three of you had successfully faced and passed the god-awful tests that came with Becca Bradley and you were oozing with pride for yourself. High school you would have never been able to do something like that. You would have blushed, denied such an offer, and gone back to reading your books. Here you were though, even with a swollen ankle you were smiling and genuinely happy.

After a few minutes, Maggie and Emily pulled away from the hug and helped you up the front steps and into the house. Laughter echoed from the living room and as you slowly made your way into the full room, it all became silent. Becca was sitting in a white chair facing the doorway and when her eyes met yours, she quirked an eyebrow curiously. Her slow gaze scanned you from head to toe. From the grass sticking to your knees to the way your leg buckled from simply standing.

“Oh, you’re back,” she smiled, it was fake.

“Yeah, thanks for waiting by the way,” you replied, unable to hide your annoyance or glare.

“Well, we weren’t going to wait all night for you. Which reminds me so?”

Unfolding the black boxers in your hand, you held them up to her and sent a proud smirk her way, “I’ve got your boxers.”

Glancing to Maggie and then Emily on either side of you, you found them looking at you the same way. Excitement gnawing on them on the inside as they tried to hide it with their smiles aimed towards you. Your attention though was brought back to the sorority president though as she tutted softly.

“Mhmm, there’s just one thing though.”

“One thing?” you asked, a frown lacing over your lips.

“Where’s your proof?” she raised a hand and a few of the other sorority girls nodded in agreement as they found amusement in the current situation, “I mean, how do I know these aren’t from one of the other player’s? How do I know you didn’t just pick up a random pair once you walked in. Where’s your proof that these are actually Shawn Mendes’ boxers.”

You clicked your tongue along the roof of your mouth, trying to hide the feeling of wanting to run her over with a bus. Instead, you pulled a sickening grin on your face and aimed the back seam on the boxers towards her. You had her right where you wanted her and this time you were destined to win. It made it so much sweeter that her face screamed success.

Like she had outsmarted you as she had done to so many others but under all that confidence you knew she was scared. There was a crack seen behind her smirk and her entitlement. She was actually worried that you had come out on top of her. Letting a second pass as the tension prickled at your skin, you hummed and thrusted the piece of clothing in her direction. And at your next sentence, her facade crumpled to pieces.

“How about the fact that there is a number eight written on the back tag in sharpie.”

a/n: let me know if you wanted to be added or removed from the taglist.

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