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mari-vargas · 5 months

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Oh hey look at that I remembered a story long enough to write it out again!

Ok so this one is yet another “trauma response created by high school”. In particular, why I’m stupid early to most things.

It’s something of a joke at my work where my coworkers will say “hey I got here after 0630 and you weren’t here yet what happened?” because everyone knows I’m usually an hour early and well they aren’t wrong—if I arrive after 0630 it’s because something did happen.

I always kind of joke that it’s trauma from high school, but it’s not actually a joke. It was an early college high school meaning I was enrolled in community college courses at the same time as high school courses as part of the program rather than of my own volition and dime. As such it was also college preparatory, ensuring we’d have the best shot of continuing on to and graduating from a 4-year university. I just want to take a moment to say that actual 4-year university was so much more chill than community college—which in turn was actually also still less high strung than my high school teachers.

So what caused this trauma response where I arrive far too early to everything and still to this day have nightmares about being late that can and have caused me to shoot awake so forcefully that I get sick?

My high school teachers drilled into us—the students—“early is on time, on time is late”. Ok nice words whatever how did they burn those words into my psyche? Most of the teachers would lock their doors five minutes before class would start and wouldn’t unlock them until ten minutes past. Meaning we’d get marked as either tardy or absent depending on the teacher. And because we had to come and go from the high school campus for the college classes, each high school class took attendance just for that class and that period. So being absent from any class was treated like being absent for a full day of classes or—as the office personnel put it—if you miss one period it’s like you missed a week or two of that one class.

High school provided me with an awful lot of trauma that unfortunately tends to react to each other. So when I bring up one memory as an explanation I also bring up memories of what exasperated it—like that time in Junior year when I missed an entire month of one specific class because I was constantly sick, which led to me refusing to leave from the whole sip of Rockstar incident. I dealt with my worsening car anxiety because it would take 2-3 hours to walk to school (and of course that was also made worse on a day I got pulled out early for an appointment to address it—only to then get in another car accident at the corner of the campus and have to cancel said appointment).

Ok well I have to be early because early is on time and on time is late but why would I wait outside for half an hour for my primary building in university to unlock only to then wait an hour before either having class or for the club room to be unlocked? Why do I get to work an hour early just to wait in the break room while the previous shift is still actively working? To the first my excuse was always that I’m really not a morning person and I am completely incoherent for several hours into the start of my day so if I wanted to be cognizant and make any sense then I had to be awake and at that place long before I ever had to address another person. To the second—when I first started working out here (it’s an hour commute and I cross county lines) there was extremely bizarre weather, and highly unusual police activity. Sometimes the delay would result in an extra hour being added to the drive. So I give myself that leeway and now I’m used to being an hour early and freak out when I’m not as early.

So ya high school is at fault for why I am stupid early to most things.

#mari’s life #life as mari #life after mari #story time #trauma #trauma response #early is on time #on time is late

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softhe4rted · 3 months

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to begin with, the sweet grass by mary oliver, from “devotions”

#i’m still alive i have time to build #she’s right she’s so right #if she lived a life maybe i can live mine #after all #i have to be the thing that saves me #poetry #it gets better i know it i know it #hi my post #mary oliver #female authors

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geneticdriftwood · 15 days

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persephone's in hell; a rooftop conversation

for @mysterycitrus

persephone's in hell, @mysterycitrus // white winter hymnal, fleet foxes // assorted dc comics

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sherokutakari · 7 months

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Okay but can we have Mary meet Ed

PLEASE can we have Mary meet Ed?

#Our Flag Means Death #OFMD #OFMD 2 #Our Flag Means Death 2 #SUPER EXTRA BIG BONUS POINTS IF IT'S RANDOM AND SANS-STEDE #idk why they meet butnthey end up talking about Life #Ed loves her bc she found the love of her life after her husband died #and when it turns out he faked his death she decided he was gonna die anyway and Ed LOVES THAT for her #Mary hates him at first bc big annoying pirate man and she has had eNOUGH of pirate nonsense #thankyouverymuch #but then ends up loving him bc he literally chose life and love and happiness over a past he no longer identifies with #and she starts to view him as a kindred spirit #THEN Stede can show up and it all starts to fall into place in the most hilarious way #initiate spiderman points all around #please you know it would be hilarious #BlackBonnet #GentleBeard #spoilers #only very vaguely by name

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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year

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Identity reveal shazamily fic idea:

They're fighting some big bad in a huge cave or throne room or in an air pocket miles underwater (the Rock?) and the league and shazamily are all there, every two stuck in separate areas (magic barriers? Cave ins? Enemies simply not letting them close?).

The roof is starting to collapse. Billy catches it, but with his powers divided, he's struggling. With a time limit before he falls, the battle intensifies.

Mary and her jl partner fells her opponent first, and looks across the room just in time to see him stagger under the crushing weight. She cannot reach him (in time?). They meet each others eyes. The wisdom of Solomon, or perhaps Mary batson, has an idea.

In a crash of thunder, she detransforms, in front of their enemies, and the entire justice league.

With power returned, captain marvel stands a bit straighter. The roof grows heavier. Cracks scatter across the high ceiling.

As Mary is carried to safety, the family understands what they must do.

In conjunction with the league member they were trapped with, they work to defeat their opponents, and one by one transform, each time revealing people too small, too young. The crash of thunder marks each victory. Rubble starts to fall and shake the earth as the league members pull their partners to safety, gathering together by the entrance, bandaging their wounds. All eyes are on Marvel, trapped under a great pillar of stone. (They have been working with him for years now, but each of his family has been revealed to be children. Is he, too?) Each time he raises the ceiling a little higher, and each time it grows heavier as the battles and the ticking clock destabilise the thousands of tons above.

At last, the final group win, and exhausted league members piggy back the last child hero over the rubble.

All are evacuated, but Marvel cannot move. Rapid power transfer and hours of stress have taken their toll, and he needs to transform back as well.

Finally, finally, green lantern and superman reach him, and with their help he is freed, collapsing to the side in relief. No one says a word.

With one final lightning strike, the last member of the team is revealed.

He's twelve years old.

And the league needs to take them all to safety.

#The power sharing mechanics of the shazamily is so interesting to me. And so under utilised.#Detransforming. Revealing yourself and by relation your family as a direct way to save your brother #And I do love incredibly strong characters having to hold the sky to save their friends #You're looking them in the eye and they're saving your life by performing this impossible feat and neither of you are moving #Percabeth do it like no other but we can try #Once read a fic where some league members get trapped under a city in a subway or something during an earthquake and marvel holds the #entire roof + ground + skyscrapers above them up for eight hours until the league can find them without moving a muscle.#And every time I think of cap marvel I think of that. Like. What do you even do after that. Where can you go #dc comics #superman #captain marvel #dc captain marvel #billy batson #shazam #shazamily #mary bromfield #pedro pascal #mary marvel #mary batson #freddy freeman #I'm so sorry I don't know the surnames of Darla and Eugene #Fic idea #story prompt #fic prompt #justice league

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bluerosefox · 1 year

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Free Flying Graysons (Feat. Ghostly John and Mary Grayson)

Hey, what if when Freakshows staff and control on the Ghosts in his circus broke and all the Ghosts (but Lydia who seems to be loyal to that clown) ran off, what if two ghosts stayed behind to thank the two teens (Danny and Sam) for freeing them. And maybe ask the Ghost boy a small favor to relay a message to their still living son.

What if those two were The Flying Graysons, John and Mary. (They did die tragically and I wouldn't put it passed Freakshow to try to take control of the best of the best circus preformers)

What if when they follow Danny after he flies Sam and himself to safety.

What if they see him detransform into his human half and are struck with how much Danny looks like their son.

Is he related to the Graysons? Idk. Could Danny be a long lost son in this AU? Maybe? We could always make him Dick's unknown son if we want. Just throwing out ideas rn. Any work.

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rollforjackass · 8 months

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i could KILL him for this. motherfucker's every interaction with children has him being, if not nice, then at minimum kind and forgiving and genuinely invested in their wellbeing.

he asks crying kids what's the matter, he's afraid to hold a baby because he's worried he'll drop it, he goes after people who are mean to kids without a second thought. his whole mentorship with timothy hunter is him trying to do right by that kid no matter how he feels about it at the time. man would be the most loving dad in the world but because of his own awful goddamn father and the ways he thinks he takes after thomas, he doesn't think that's true. i hate.

#this panel made me SPITTING mad for real he breaks my heart #the way his father fucked up his whole mindset and self-image is something that makes me so violent #me rattling the bars of my cage yelling about how the family man arc was a vessel for conveying constantine's fears about his father #how it made him feel responsible for his father's murder after his dad had called him the killer of his mother his whole life #then made him a literal killer which turned that childhood nickname into a self-fulfilling prophecy & his dad into an unintended oracle #how constantine has always been afraid of becoming his father and yet that's exactly who he had to emulate to survive the world of magic #and then vertigo gave him the fucking rosacarnis arc which made him unwillingly a dad and his kids killers. i'm unwell #i NEED john constantine to know how good a person he really is and how loved any kid of his would be #the one thing new 52 did right for him was making him genuinely loving and caring towards rose #instead of making him pawn her off on everyone around him. which i fear a lot of writers would make him do these days #i NEED him to know he's better than who raised him #they say mary anne constantine would have been a good mother if she'd lived and i think there's a lot of her left in her son #not that he'd ever believe it #hellblazer #john constantine #i'm very emotional about him right now #oxly hollers

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ofhouseusher · 4 months

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drunk and thinking about mary mcdonnell

#shaffer talks #life’s good #fr #she’s the queen of fkn everything #drunk on red wine after 9 hours of traveling #thinking about #mary mcdonnell #not a care in the world

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creative-hanyou-girl · 8 months

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ATTENTION IY AND KAMISAMA KISS FANDOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANNETTE MARIE IS HAVING A LIMITED EDITION HARDCOVER COPY OF ALL 3 OF THE RED WINTER TRILOGY BOOKS IN ONE BEING OFFERED!!!!

The Red Winter Trilogy is a masterpiece especially if your into Inuyasha and Kamisama Kiss or Japanese mythology in general. You guys won't be disappointed!!!!!!

Here's some more stuff:

AND I KNEW THIS SERIES WAS INSPIRED BY INUYASHA!!!! I FREAKING CALLED IT!!!!!

I will say that this offer is a big project and that nothing is guaranteed until Annette and her team have reached their pledge goals and have some stuff finalized. Already though, some of their purchasing offers involving this hardcover have been fully met. By the time I got to this, they had only 2 offers for the hardcover open, so this is a limited time thing!!!!!

You guys can go to KickStarter here where Annette Marie is making this offer:

kickstarter

Tags: @serial-doubters-club @intoevernightfanfic @keichanz @clearwillow @disneysooner @inukag @ruddcatha @lavendertwilight89 @chit-a-to @born-for-eachother @sailorbabydoll92 @artistefish @lostinfantasyworlds @stillunderyourbed @katerinu @mamabearcat @swaggingtomboy @zelink-inukag @xfangheartx

#i haven't given up Tumblr btw I've just had my life become a whole lot busier #I'll be back soon though #I've actually spent a couple months drawing a bunch of fanart that I eventually wanna post on here #some of it is for the InuYasha fandom and some of it is for other shows and books #I'll be back tho! don't worry #I just wanted to rant about Red Winter again after I heard about this hardcover offer #i both love and hate this #because I love Red Winter and have been hoping Annette would start doing hardcovers so they last longer #but at the same time I just committed to not buying anything I don't need and then I find out about THIS!!!!!!#I already have the 3 books I really don't need a copy!#but I WANT IT SO BAAAAD!!!!!#the red winter trilogy #red winter trilogy #annette marie #inuyasha #inukag #kamisama kiss #kamisama hajimemashita #inuyasha fandom #kamisama kiss fandom #book recs #book recommendations

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arsenicflame · 1 year

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i want to give him 30 boyfriends. i want him to be aromantic. i want him to have the best sex of his life whenever he wants. i want him to never have to have sex again. i want him to be loved and love and never be unhappy again

#he is. SO blorbo #i want him to be EVERYTHING #i want to put him through so much pain and i want someone to care enough to look after him afterwards #he is aro he is dating everyone on the ship and half the famous pirate captains besides. he is the best lay of your life the idea of sex #makes him feel sick. he is asexual he is aro he is poly he is bi he is gay #he is married to ed. to sam. to jackie. to anne and jack and mary.#he is trans he is cis he is everything all at once #(about the only thought i have about him that ISNT contradicted by another is that he is autistic)#nyxtalks #ofmd #israel hands #izzy hands #sorry i have been CONSUMED by blorbo thoughts. i mean im always thinking about him but especially right now

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mari-vargas · 2 years

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Hello everyone, I have something I feel the need to talk about.

But first, a question: if you saw someone wearing glasses or someone told you they were wearing contacts would you ask them if they had considered not wearing them anymore?

For the most part the answer to this would be no. Sure there’s surgery but that’s not an option for everyone. Also sometimes your prescription changes and you end up not needing glasses anymore or maybe you need a stronger correction. But most people would not suggest a person permanently stops using what they need to see.

Why then do people, upon learning I take a daily medicine for ADHD (and now more recently also one for anxiety), ask me “Have you considered getting off of the medication?” I’ve also been asked “How do you feel about being on a medication that changes your personality?” and countless other questions along the same veins.

Well, gee, HAVE I considered not needing to be medicated? Here’s the thing: I am fully aware of the state of my self when I am unmedicated—not in the moment of course, that’s sort of the point, but rather due to being able to tell the difference when I AM medicated. My prescription changes sometimes as new demands on my life change my ability to manage my self, and who knows maybe someday the prescription will lower but the fact of the matter is that in the here and now it is in fact DANGEROUS for at least my well-being for me to not be medicated.

Then there’s the suggestion that my medications change my personality. I’ll be honest—I was supremely baffled when I was first asked this. Especially because the person asking hadn’t ever seen me truly unmedicated: he’d essentially seen me medicated or passing out on his couch because I sleep better hearing my friends’ voices. Point being he had never seen me before I had already been diagnosed and being treated for ADHD for years. So how had he drawn that particular conclusion? I’m still not really sure but I decided to set aside my utter confusion and instead consider if there was a difference in my personality. The answer, obviously, is no there’s not. However there might be a difference in my perceived personality maybe but anyone who knew me both before and after I was diagnosed had already gotten past my struggles with expressing my self and had seen my core personality—me finally being able to express myself hadn’t changed it, it was just more visible to the wider world.

My medications help me to function, keep up with, and understand the world around me—just the same as my correctional lenses do. And yet I am heckled for my medications far more often than the fact that I use glasses to see.

#adhd #adhd inattentive #anxiety #medications #mari’s life #life before mari #life after mari #life as mari #correctional lenses

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voltfruits · 1 year

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hmm. thinking about how when the party goes into Aubrey's bedroom on One Day Left and she finally apologizes, Kel's immediate reaction is to apologize to her in return. and also thinking about how Aubrey always targets Kel in physical combat but also in her verbal accusations (Aubrey's dialogue upon winning in the church fight is "serves you right, Kel" and she doesn't seem nearly as mad at Sunny despite him actually slashing her with a knife). i know the common fandom perception is that Kel and Aubrey simply drifted apart after Mari died, but... i think it's very likely that something actively bad happened between them, but neither one of them wants to bring it up again. and i definitely feel like Kel secretly blamed himself for Aubrey's downward spiral.

#this is all headcanon ofc but my personal theory is #that after mari was buried aubrey would visit her grave ever day and try to get kel to come to #and eventually kel was like ''are you gonna do anything besides sit by her grave all day? when are you gonna move on and live your life?''#and aubrey (justifiably) took that REALLY badly and then there was a screaming match #i think kel is generally well intentioned and he always wants people to look on the bright side of life #but he doesn't yet realize that it's not appropriate to force positivity on people all the time #idk. he's always forcing himself to fake happiness so i feel like he could force it upon others too #TLDR what if kel and aubrey had a fight like kel and hero except things didn't get better afterwards. are you crying yet #omori #aubrey omori #kel omori #omori headcanons #volt.txt #kelbrey #not romantic ofc but i know kelbrey nation will eat up this angst so. take it #oops there are hella spelling errors in these tags. whatever. L taken

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fictionadventurer · 4 months

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I didn't realize just how much Little Town on the Prairie meant to me as a book. I've barely started and every bit feels iconic. This one and Little House on the Prairie feel more like home than most of the other books do.

#little house #little town on the prairie #little house on the prairie #laura ingalls wilder #of course those two also just have to be the most problematic #we'll just move along past the blackface folks #nothing to see here #i'm trying to parse out why i feel such a strong connection to these two in particular #maybe it's because there's a heavy focus on farming and carpentry and small town country life and that's the background i come from #i know that this one already has the best sisterly content #i had a post brewing about how odd it is that of all the classic 'woman writing stories heavily based on her childhood' books #this series has by far the least focus on sisterly bonds #this subject will probably be its own post by the end of the book #i have been loving the greater laura-carrie connection i've never noticed before in the past two books #though i wasn't sure if it was really there or if i just paying more attention after going to the carrie museum #but this book is really giving us laura-mary friendship at last #which is great cuz in the early books she barely talks except to fight with laura #so it'll be nice to see that develop #not to mention we still have the iconic desk scene #(if this book gives mary her due it does continue the anti-older-sister crusade with its portrayal of eliza jane)#anyhow i should stop writing tags now have a good day

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enbysiriusblack · 4 months

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remus loves folklore books, lily loves fantasy books, regulus loves classical books, peter loves comic books, emmeline loves detective books, dorcas loves poetry books, mary loves romance books, james loves sci-fi books, marlene loves rock magazines, sirius loves play scripts

#sirius would read beginnings and ends of loads of books to seem more well read than he is #but he does not have the patience for an entire novel. loves reading/acting out plays tho #he'd love duchess of malfi fr and anything tennesee williams #marlene hates reading. finds it hard. and boring. magazines are as far as she's willing to go #james is a sci fi kid!! he also reads really fast but then loses attention after like 10 minutes and takes a break for a day or so #aroace mary who loves fictional romance <333 so real #emmeline tries to work out the mystery before the book detective. she's usually wrong. the girl's a failure and i love her for it #comic book peter is so me. dc not marvel!! okay he can read some marvel. occasionally. only spiderman tho.#regulus is a snob. never read a non classical book for leisure once in his life #fantasy lily!! she's such a hobbit/lord of the rings fan btw #remus is living up to his name and his boyfriends nickname #marauders era #marauders #remus lupin #lily evans #regulus black #peter pettigrew #emmeline vance #dorcas meadowes #mary macdonald #james potter #marlene mckinnon #sirius black

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ksenya-and-the-artistic-cucumber · 10 months

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Who are you and why do I see you everywhere OMORI

Hi! Because I am @some-mari-thoughts and have been in the fandom since 2 months after release of the game ^^

Im a silly artist who occasionally puts 600% of effort into a piece 👍👌

Suggest looking up OMORI MEMORIES zine, you should find me on page 3 ^^

Currently on a very minor break from omo art to focus on rain world but heavily considering blowing the dust off my ask blog ^^

#I used to be the main Stranger artist for awhile here #Uni absolutely kicked my ass after that TvT so yea still dealing with life for now and staring at rw #OMORI #OMORI Mari #OMORI Stranger #OMORI spoilers #Rain World #Rain World slugcat #My doodles

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papirouge · 3 months

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we came to Christ not because he came out of Mary vagina but because he defeated sins on the cross

If Jesus had abided to satan's temptation in the desert, he would've failed. That's why it's only when he gave his last breath while nailed on the cross that he said "It is accomplished". Not before. Not just after coming out of Mary's womb. He still had to achieve something - fulfill his ministry as savior of Humanity.

The Mary womb worship of Catholics is weird and just biblically inaccurate lol

Jesus godhood only comes from God. His mightiness to attract & gather his flock is his own. This mightiness has not been incepted by Mary through the power of her vagina walls.

There's only one (1) shepherd, and that's GOD - not Mary's womb. Stop this idolatry nonsense lol

#i guess that's also sooo uncomfortable with the idea of Mary having other children after jesus / not remaining virgin all her life #bc that would mean her womb isnt speshul and uniquely made to birth jesus lol #their whole doctrine relies on a very flimsy potentiality #papi watch #papi truths #christian

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