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sirikenobi12 · 3 years

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Dear Mr. Filoni: About Qui-Gon Jinn

Mr. Filoni, I know you are pretty much the undisputed Padawan of George Lucas, but like many students they can sometimes misunderstand their teachings or interpret things from a certain point of view. While I won’t deny you are a brilliant creator who have brought us some amazing Star Wars content you said something a little while back about Qui-Gon Jinn that I think is rather nearsighted and in my opinion incorrect.

“And with the death of Qui-Gon Jinn, Anakin loses the father figure who truly could have understood him – and maybe prevented what was to come.”

This implies several things, the first is that Anakin never had a father figure in his life. Or, rather that he lost the father figure he truly needed. In many ways this is implying that if someone grows up without a father (or a traditional father figure) then they are missing out or won’t have a stable childhood. What about all the people who are raised by single mothers or grandparents or aunts/uncles or by their older siblings?

Pixar’s Onward is a great example of finding a father figure through an older brother, it highlights that just because Ian never had a chance to meet his father didn’t mean that he lost out on a father figure in his brother Barley.

“I never had a dad, but I always had you.”

Saying that Anakin lost the father figure who truly could have understood him also just spits in the face of a young man who also lost his father figure in that moment and gave up everything to raise Anakin.

Let’s unpack that a little bit. Imagine if you will you’re twenty-five years old, you’ve worked your ENTIRE life for a particular goal which is to be a Jedi Knight, traveling the galaxy doing the most good that you can while discovering who you are on your own. Then maybe down the road when you are ready to settle down and possibly train/raise an apprentice you’ll take one on. Suddenly the only father you’ve ever known pushes you aside for a child he’s just met (without even discussing it with you first) and then uses his last words to push this child on you, making him your responsibility, thus shattering your chance at the freedom of a true Knighthood.

By all rights Obi-Wan could’ve given Anakin’s training over to the Council, the boy was in no way his responsibility. Much like an adult sibling doesn’t have to take on the responsibility of raising their minor siblings if their parents die, they could give the children over to the state and have a chance at a normal young adulthood instead of being thrust into being a parent before they are ready. But, Obi-Wan didn’t do that because he A.) Respected/loved Qui-Gon too much not to fulfill his final wishes, and B.) Knew it would be better for Anakin to take the boy under his wing.

I will say this until I am blue in the face: OBI-WAN WAS A FATHER TO ANAKIN!!

In fact, in Episode 2 Anakin refers to him as a father/father figure multiple times and it is clear their relationship while Anakin was a Padawan was that of a Father/Son. It isn’t until Anakin is knighted and they are peers that you see their relationship shift to that of brothers.

Am I saying that Obi-Wan didn’t make mistakes when raising Anakin? Absolutely not, but would I argue that Anakin was missing out on a father figure because Qui-Gon died? No, I would not.

The second part of that quote claims that Qui-Gon Jinn could’ve been someone who understood Anakin and might’ve been able to prevent what was to come. I 100% believe that would not have happened, while I think Qui-Gon Jinn is a very interesting character there is no indication in either canon or legends that he would’ve been a good influence on Anakin. In fact, quite the opposite. Here are the top ten reasons Qui-Gon would’ve been a terrible father influence for Anakin:

1. Qui-Gon Jinn thinks the rules don’t apply to him: While many fans applaud Qui-Gon (including apparently you, Mr. Filoni) for going against the Jedi Council and being a “Maverick” I would argue that more often than not it was to his or his mission’s detriment. This is not to advocate that the Council was 100% correct or that Jedi shouldn’t question things, but there is a difference between questioning authority figures and flat out being obstinate. This is something Anakin excels at even with being raised by the rule abiding Kenobi, imagine how bad it would’ve been had Jinn raised him.

2. Qui-Gon Jinn was selfish: There are several examples of Qui-Gon using the guise of “the will of the Force” in order to get his way. Are we honestly supposed to believe that somehow this one man was more in tune with the Force than any other Jedi (including 12 powerful Jedi who were on the Council)?? And, if he truly believed in following the will of the Force then why did he constantly bend the rules to make sure the “Force” went his way - an example of this is had he actually believed it was the will of the Force that he free Anakin, he wouldn’t have had to make the chance cube go the way he wanted it to go. He flat out cheated so he could get his way.

3. Qui-Gon was dangerously reckless: Many Jedi are reckless, even Obi-Wan said to Yoda in ESB “so was I if you’ll remember”. But Qui-Gon was reckless in ways that was pretty astounding. For example, EVERYONE told him that his plan to get off of Tatooine was dangerous and frankly stupid. Couldn’t they have just sold the Naboo ship and then purchased a clunker that would get them to Coruscant? Honestly, that would’ve probably hidden them better from the Trade Federation in the long run...but no, he instead decided the best course of action was to put a slave child in mortal danger, thus also placing all of their lives in the hands of a boy who had NEVER won a race before. Now, it ended up working in his favor, but even still those few days spent fixing up Anakin’s pod and then the race itself delayed the Queen from getting to Coruscant which meant more people died on Naboo all because Qui-Gon refused to see any other solutions.

4. Qui-Gon was often a bully: our Maverick had no problems throwing his weight around to get what he wanted. The Council meeting with Anakin is a perfect example, he didn’t get the answer he wanted. So he put his hands on his hips and refused to leave the room until the Council caved to his demands. Another example of this is in Claudia Grey’s Master & Apprentice where he refuses to do his duty as a Jedi and fulfill the mission simply because he had a vision. He doesn’t discuss this with the Council or with Obi-Wan beforehand, he just decides for himself this is how it’s going to be and then throws a hissy-fit when he doesn't get his way. Or how about he is the one who cheated to get his way in winning Anakin and when Watto calls him out he threatens to get the Hutts involved? He just bullies his way to getting what he wanted.

5. Qui-Gon never saw the bigger picture: Master Jinn’s whole thing is to focus on the here and the now, and while that’s great advice (especially for Obi-Wan who often looks too far a head) it also means that Qui-Gon often misses the big picture. An example of this is in the book Master & Apprentice where he wants to free the slaves on Pijal’s moon, but Yoda has to remind him that there is a bigger picture and they can only act if it’s in their mandate. He says this not because the Council doesn’t want to free slaves, but because there are incredibly complex consequences and if they were to just do whatever they wanted/could do as Jedi it would cause all kinds of issues for others and while he could maybe free a handful of slaves now it would cause countless others to suffer in the long run. But, Qui-Gon wouldn’t accept this, because he refused to see the bigger picture - he refused to look at anything except what was right in front of him.

6. Qui-Gon has a history of failing his Apprentices: Now, I know this isn’t Canon at the moment, but by the time we make it to TPM Qui-Gon has already done severe damage to 2 former Padawans, and is in danger of having history repeat itself. Xanatos was his second Apprentice right before Obi-Wan, and this Padawan was extremely powerful and Qui-Gon insisted he be trained, but the boy fell to the darkside because he had been too old to start training and had a healthy attachment to his family (sound familiar?). Qui-Gon was so devastated by his fall that he went back and reputed his first apprentice, Feemor, claiming he was such a failure of a Master that there is no way his first apprentice should’ve been knighted. He basically in his grief pushed aside an apprentice who while on paper wasn’t anything special, but was kind and dutiful and a true Jedi (sound familiar?). He then begrudgingly takes on Obi-Wan (only after 12 year old Obi-Wan offers to kill himself to save others) and then time and time again tries to basically pawn off Obi-Wan onto someone else (even as far into their relationship as the Master & Apprentice book). Then, when it finally looks like the Kenobi/Jinn team have figured out how to work well together Qui-Gon has to literally be reminded that his Obi-Wan even exists because Qui-Gon is so blinded by Anakin’s power!! How in any way does this seem like a better father figure option for the emotionally needy Anakin?

7. Qui-Gon Jinn has a history of Attachments: The specific example I have is again from Legends, but it shows how Qui-Gon allowed attachments to become dangerous. He had a childhood friend who he fell in love with, they decided that they could handle being committed to each other as well as the Order so they “pledged themselves” to one another (my guess is basically this is like a Jedi marriage so to speak). Sounds beautiful right, and it is, but...But his love interest Tahl was injured on a war torn planet where the children are so sick of their parents' civil war that they form a third army and go to war against the adults. Tahl is caught in the middle of this and is gravely injured. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are sent to rescue her, and Obi-Wan is sickened by the sight of children fighting and wants to stay and help, but Qui-Gon is so blinded by his attachment for Tahl that he for the first time EVER actually follows his mandate and tells Obi-Wan that they weren’t sent there to help the children, but to rescue Tahl. Obi-Wan who is only 13 doesn’t understand so instead of taking the time to really explain it, Qui-Gon just LEAVES his young apprentice behind on a war torn planet. Now, I’ll admit that Qui-Gon did give Obi-Wan a choice, to come back to Coruscant or to stay and fight, thus leaving the Jedi Order and Obi-Wan did make the choice to stay. But, it was Qui-Gon’s responsibility as the teacher to fully explain the situation to Obi-Wan and let him know that they could do more good if they were to go back to the Council and the Senate and try to return with supplies and reinforcements. But no, Qui-Gon just yelled at him, disregarded his feelings and told him their mission was to rescue Tahl. He didn’t bother using this as a teaching moment for Obi-Wan because he was so concerned about his attachment. And then later when Tahl actually died, Qui-Gon nearly fell to the dark side and it was Obi-Wan who saved him. And then Qui-Gon went on to decide that because of the pain that had been inflicted by losing Tahl he’d basically give Obi-Wan an ultimatum when it came to the woman he loved (and basically downplayed it as nothing but a crush). Now, say what you want about how Obi-Wan handled Anakin/Padme’s relationship - maybe pretending it wasn’t happening instead of confronting Anakin about it wasn’t a healthy/smart choice, but at least he didn’t downplay it and make it look like Anakin’s feelings weren’t real or valid.

8. Qui-Gon refused to apologize: There are several examples where Qui-Gon refuses to accept any responsibilities and won’t apologize. One such point is in TPM where he basically traded his current Padawan in for a newer/shinier model in front of the entire Council (which if this alone isn’t enough cause to prove the man wasn’t the best father figure…) he then refused to even approach Obi-Wan about it, in fact the twenty five year old Apprentice who had just been tossed aside for a supposed prophecy came and apologized to Qui-Gon!! Another example is back in the Jedi Apprentice books where Qui-Gon leaves Obi-Wan on the war torn planet (as mentioned in #7) it is up to Obi-Wan to make it up to Qui-Gon and prove his worth once again. I’m not certain given Anakin’s tendency to need constant affirmations that this would’ve been a good combination.

9. Qui-Gon was manipulative: Oftentimes we see Qui-Gon manipulating people to get his way (I’m not talking about Jedi Mind Tricks). In TPM he manipulates Watto to win Anakin’s freedom, he even manipulates Obi-Wan into taking on the burden of training Anakin by making it his dying wish. He is not above manipulation if he gets his desired result. We see Anakin does the same thing, so one could argue Qui-Gon would’ve only encouraged this behavior.

10. Qui-Gon cared more about the prophecy than the boy: I’m not saying that Qui-Gon didn’t care about people, or even Anakin, in fact he was a very compassionate character. But, all of his arguments to have Anakin be trained was that he is “the Chosen One” not once does he talk about how the boy needs training simply because it’d be dangerous to leave such raw power alone in the galaxy without training, or that it would be the right thing to do. He doesn’t ever talk about how learning to be a Jedi would actually benefit the boy. Every single time he brings up Anakin needing training is because of the prophecy. Now, as far as it looks in both canon and legends Obi-Wan tried incredibly hard to not bring up the prophecy to Anakin (except on Mustafar), Obi-Wan would bring it up to Mace/Yoda but that was about it. Obi-Wan wasn’t blinded by the prophecy because until ROTS it didn’t really appear that he even believed in it - he believed in Anakin for who he was as a person. Something we just didn’t see with Qui-Gon.

Now, Qui-Gon has a lot of great qualities, I am not denying that, but to say that he would’ve been the father figure Anakin needed is just misguided. If you believe in the idea that there is a will of the Force one could argue that Obi-Wan training Anakin was that will, otherwise Qui-Gon wouldn’t have died.

Also, Mr. Filoni, why is it that Anakin supposedly suffered because he didn’t have a father figure yet you turned around and gave Ahsoka a brother, not a father? Are you suggesting Ahsoka suffered as well because she didn’t have a father figure? Or, was Obi-Wan by this time finally “old” enough to be considered a father figure?

This idea that Qui-Gon Jinn would’ve been the fix it to Anakin’s issues is just silly and once again places the blame of the Jedi’s destruction in the hands of the Council and specifically Obi-Wan, thus not forcing Anakin to be held responsible for any of his actions.

I’m sorry, but it’s not a theory I buy due to a lack of evidence.

#star wars #rant post #obi wan appreciation #qui gon jinn #obi wan kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #jedi council appreciation #dave filoni #the phantom menace #The Clone Wars #stop blaming the jedi #sorry but this has been on my mind a lot #not qui gon bashing i promise #obi wan deserved better

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itsonlystrange · 3 years

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I’d like to point out that the “it’s all just a bunch of coincidence” argument is very poor. People say that about anything they don’t like. If we’re using this argument then I could say that everytime Mileven accidentally held hands or touched or any of that lovey dovey stuff that the Mileven fandom goes nuts over is a coincidence, but I have 0 evidence that it’s a coincidence, I’m just saying it is because that’s how I, a biased person on the side of byler, sees it. And I love the Milevens that actually respect us, it’s just the toxic ones that stomp on us or rain on our parade that irritate me.

So I ask skeptical Milevens, why do you think it’s all a coincidence? Because the Duffers have gone on record multiple times saying that nothing in their show is a coincidence, so it’s odd of you to assume that it is, when that goes against everything the duffers have said.

I see a lot of people claim that all of Bylers very romantic coded scenes are just coincidences with out any real evidence solely because they want them to be coincidences.

Reminder that the duffers had to write, revise, have Noah and Finn read at the table read, rehearse, and then film all of Bylers romantic coded scenes. And do you seriously believe that nobody stepped up and said, “Hey, I think some people will start to ship this if you make your two male characters hold hands and look at each others lips.” Like on paper, that sounds romantic. And on screen, it looks romantic too! If the duffers didn’t want byler to be shown as romantic they wouldn’t have put all of that effort into Mike and Will’s romanticly coded scenes in season two. And sure, one could say they were oblivious and didn’t realize that this relationship could be seen as anything more than romantic and that one of their 100 other writers and revisors and producers didn’t step up and say “Is this really what we want to be conveying in this show when they’re just supposed to be friends?” (Which I doubt. The duffers and everyone else on the writing crew knew exactly what they were implying. And if the duffers themselves didn’t, I HIGHLY doubt that someone didn’t step up and point out how romantic some of these scenes are, especially considering multiple of their writers are apart of the lgbtq community which makes it highly more likely that someone would have realized as I’m sure their gay senses are much stronger than those of the cishet writers on the squad. ) However, byler kind of blew up after season two, so if ST didn’t mean for Mike and Will’s relationship to be seen as more than platonic, then why did they continue doing it in season three? And the thing is, we’re not “delusional” for thinking this. Hundreds of thousands of millions of people have pointed this out across all platforms. It stops being a problem with us and “seeing what we want to see” when millions of people see the same, and it becomes the writers problem for even implying that in the first place.

Here’s an example: take Lucas and Dustin. Sure, there are definitely people out there that think or head canon as either as gay, but not nearly as big of a community as the Byler community. The reason is: Lucas and Dustin don’t have queer coding. They haven’t been painted the same way as Mike and Will’s relationship has. Or Jonathan, yeah, people may head canon as him as gay, or even think he actually is, but he doesn’t have any evidence that really points up to the fact that he is, or that he could be.

The duffers aren’t stupid. They wouldn’t have written byler this way if they didn’t want people shipping it. The official ST writer account has acknowledged byler multiple times, before st3 even started filming. They knew what they were doing. If their goal was to portray Mike and Will as a simple platonic friendship, and that all of their queer coded scenes in st2 were just a coincidence, why would they continue to do it in season 3? Queer baiting is real, yes. However like I said before, the st writing team has a lot of queer and lgbtq+ members themselves, not sure why they would want to queer bait when they’re gay/lesbian/bisexual themselves.

The truth is, byler would have never made it this far if it wasn’t meant to be shipped and portrayed like more of a romantic relationship than a platonic one. They would have shut it down awhile ago. They wouldn’t be so ominous about it. Noah and Finn wouldn’t constantly dodge questions about it unless they legally weren’t allowed to answer them. The duffers wouldn’t have been so vague in the ending of season 3 or in any interviews regarding season 3 about byler. Mike and Will wouldn’t have gotten a whole segment in the official ST book, they wouldn’t have held hands! Seriously! They held hands. Did someone seriously not point out how non platonic that was?———

And use the excuse all you want, “Will was just scared. That’s why Mike held his hand.” Okay, well Max and Lucas held hands when they were both scared in the exact same episode but I guess that doesn’t count because they’re a boy and a girl and Mike and Will are two boys. ———-And it’s funny because you KNOW that if Mike promised to go crazy together with El, that would he in every Milevens Instagram bio, it’d be on merchandise, it’d be everywhere. If Mike said meeting El was the best thing he’s ever done, people would be going bat shit crazy over how romantic that is and how they’re so in love. If Mike and El fought and he ran out in the middle of the rain looking for her when he couldn’t even apologize to his real girlfriend who dumped him just hours prior, people would say that Mike was in love with El and how much he cares about her yadda yadda. But that’s the thing. It’s two boys, so apparently it has to be platonic. Because that’s just how it works in their cishet minds. ——I’d like to see a better argument then “it was all a coincidence.” Because that’s not valid. Why? Why do you think it’s all a coincidence? It’s all just fake? Please. Elaborate. Because if these romantic scenes involved Mike and El instead of Mike and Will, then they’d see. Because they didn’t have Finn and Noah rehearse all these romantic coded scenes multiple times for nothing. They literally wrote, revised, edited, rehearsed, and filmed ALL of these scenes and still went through with it. And even in season three when people really started shipping byler, they STILL directed Finn and Noah to look at eachothers lips. They still filmed the rain fight. KNOWING byler shippers existed and KNOWING this would only heighten the amount of byler shippers there are.

The duffers aren’t stupid. This isn’t a surface level show. Everything they do is intentional, they’ve said it themselves. And yes, I agree that some byler proof COULD just be apophenia, but stuff like this? Crazy together? Looking at eachothers lips? Holding hands? I’m the only one that cares about Will? Mike keeping his eyes open in the final Mileven kiss, those aren’t small little things. You’re telling me that they couldn’t find another take for that final Mileven kiss? No. Finn kept his eyes open because he was directed to do so. The duffers are writers and directors for a reason. They went to school for this. So please, I’d like to see some actual argument against byler other than “they said they loved eachother!” “It’s all a coincidence!” I’d like to see people actually counter my arguments with actual evidence. Not just “Finn says they’re in love” not just “Millie ships it!” Because interviews are not evidence. They’re instructed to create hype for the show. If David can lie about hopper being dead, Finn and Millie can lie about Mileven being in love. I don’t want the argument of “it’s been built up for 3 seasons so they won’t destroy it now.” Stancy was built up for 2 seasons and see how that turned out. And Mileven fell more in season three than it went up.

Anyways,, if you’re a polite Mileven, this isn’t for you. I love you with my whole heart. If you’re just vibing, I love you. Ship what you want to ship! Feel free to counter my argument! However, If you’re someone who calls us “delusional”, leave. The doors right there. The cast has talked about how much they hate the ship wars in our fandom, so if you’re just gonna say how stupid we are, don’t let the door hit you on the way out:)

Sorry for long post lol. Love you all

#stranger things #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #st4 #byler is endgame

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bluescluelessly · 4 years

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Tossing the Script out the Airlock (and Good Riddance to it)

[Rating: Teen] || hurt/comfort, suspected infidelity, polyamorous relationships, made up Stewjoni biology because George Lucas didn’t say Obi-Wan wasn’t a little weird and if he’s gonna give his birth planet a stupid name then I’m gonna give him stupid biology tweaks, and use of Dai Bendu, the language of the Jedi (translations at the bottom of the post)

tw: mentions of grooming (because Palpatine)

Ships: Bail Organa/Obi-Wan, Bail/Breya, Anakin/Padmé

Palpatine tries to convince Anakin that Padmé is cheating on him with Obi-Wan. Anakin confronts his friend about it, finds out a bit more than he bargained for, and not at all what he was expecting to.

°|●.*•

From the Revenge of the Sith Novelization:

“That’s why I put you on the Council. If the rumors are true, you may be democracy's last hope.”

Anakin let his chin sink once more to his chest and his eyelids scraped shut. It seemed like he was always somebody’s last hope.

Why did everyone always have to make their problems into his problems? Why can’t people just let him be?

How is he supposed to deal with all this one Padmé could die?

He said slowly, eyes still closed, “you still haven’t told me what this has to do with Obi-Wan.”

“Ah, that – well, that is the difficult part. The disturbing part. It seems that Master Kenobi has been in contact with a certain Senator who is known to be among the leaders of this cabal. Apparently, very close contact. The rumor is that he was seen leaving the Senator’s residence this very morning, at an… unseemly hour.”

“Who?” Anakin opened his eyes and sat forward. “Who is this Senator? Let’s go question him.”

“I’m sorry, Anakin. But the Senator in question is, in fact, a *her*. A woman you know quite well, in fact.”

“You–” He wasn’t hearing this. He couldn’t be. “You mean–”

Anakin choked on her name.

Palpatine gave him a look of melancholy sympathy. “I’m afraid so.”

Anakin coughed his voice back to life. “That’s *impossible!* I would *know*– she doesn’t… she couldn’t–”

“Sometimes the closest,” Palpatine said sadly, “are those who cannot see.”

Revenge of the Sith, Matthew Stover, p. 250

°|●.*•

This is it. Anakin is going to just… ask him. He’s not sure what he’ll do if he finds out Obi-Wan has been sleeping with his wife, but…

Well, he’ll figure that out if it’s true.

He went to Padmé’s apartment, felt for himself the evidence that Obi-Wan had been there.

Now, he needs the truth. He needs to be wrong.

“So… I heard you spent a late night with a senator,” he asks, trying not to sound overly accusing. Obi-Wan always gives him the benefit of the doubt.

Several emotions flicker across Obi-Wan’s face then. He eventually fixes his gaze on Anakin, a modicum of panic in his eyes. Anakin’s heart sinks.

The next words out of his old Master’s mouth, however, catch him by surprise.

“You… know about Bail?”

Anakin’s eyes go wide. No, he didn’t–

– but he can’t help thinking he knew it, it was a male senator –

– “Bail?” He blurts out, confusion showing. “No, Palpatine said–”

“– Palpatine saw me with Bail?” Obi-Wan asks, his voice rising an octave.

“No–” Anakin insists, hands going up in a placating gesture. “Not– I didn’t know about Bail. I uh. Palpatine told me he heard you were seen leaving Padmé Amidala’s Apartment.” He explains, and some of the worry drains from Obi-Wan.

“Oh,” he says, sounding infinitely relieved. “No, I, er. Well, I definitely haven’t been making ‘late visits’ to Senator Amidala.” He gives Anakin a curious sort of look. “I hear she’s spoken for, not that I would pursue her, in any case. It would be… awkward.”

“Awkward?” Anakin asks, feeling as if he’s missing something.

Obi-Wan gives a tired sort of smile. “Besides the fact that my preference is not for the fairer sex; she once made an advance, and I turned her down.” Seeing Anakin’s flaring temper, he is quick to clarify, “long before your knighting, Anakin. But, as I said, awkward.”

Anakin nods, appeased. Then, he remembers there’s a more important topic to focus on here. “So… Bail?”

The reaction is immediate; Obi-Wan’s face blushing a dark red as he looks away. “Yes, I– if you could keep that to yourself, I’d appreciate it.”

To hell with it, Anakin thinks. “Sure Master, I’ll keep your senator a secret if you keep mine.”

“The fact that you think your relationship with Senator Amidala is a secret is adorable,” Obi-Wan responds, a glint of amusement in his eye. “Half the council is still asking me why they weren’t invited to the wedding; I can’t give them an answer, as I wasn’t invited either.”

Anakin looks shocked by that information, which is truly endearing. “Wait, they aren’t mad?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “You proved to me that you could put responsibility over your wife on Geonosis. Relationships aren’t forbidden so long as there’s not an unhealthy attachment involved. Anyways, we’ve always bent the rules a bit for you.”

Anakin feels as if a weight has been removed from his shoulders. A weight that Palpatine put there, he thinks.

The old man has been wrong about the Jedi on two accounts now… why does Anakin hold what he says about the Jedi in such regard?

Perhaps he should fact-check more of the Chancellor’s absurd claims.

“Ah.” Anakin responds intelligently. “… so why does your, um, thing with Bail need to stay a secret?”

Obi-Wan’s red cheeks return once more. “Well. A… few reasons. Not that I think I’d be in trouble for it, but… I’d like to respect Bail’s privacy. He is, after all, Married.”

“Does Breha not know?”

“She knows,” Obi-Wan assures his former Padawan. “I wouldn’t agree otherwise. But that doesn’t mean they want the whole senate knowing about their … arrangement with me; or others.”

Again, Anakin nods to show his understanding. “The less people who know, the better. Right…”

“Exactly.”

“Still,” Anakin starts, bemused, “I didn’t take you for the 'mistress’ type.”

A complicated flurry of emotions cross his friend’s face. “… neither do I,” he responds, a little clipped. “I think of myself more as Bail’s type.”

Anakin realizes how insensitive that came off a bit too late. “I’m sorry–”

Obi-Wan waves him off. “It’s difficult to understand when I haven’t explained. Bail is Bi; he generally prefers men, but his heart belongs fully to Breha. I prefer men as well, and I have… a condition… so we came to a mutually beneficial arrangement, in which Bail and I enjoy one another while on Coruscant, as he and Breha cannot be together as often as they’d like to be.”

Anakin gets all that, he does. But one thing sticks out to him that he feels needs to be clarified. “You have a condition?” Is Obi-Wan sick?

If its possible, Obi-Wan grows more embarrassed. “Well, I’m from Stewjon.”

That clears nothing up.

At Anakin’s clueless expression, Obi-Wan sighs and explains. “Right, quick biology lesson. Somewhere down the evolutionary line, it was decided that Stewjonians need more incentive to reproduce. So, while it isn’t necessary in order to live out a full, average life span, our bodies naturally produce more beneficial hormones during sexual intercouse. This means, the more I…” he pauses, looking displeased by the verbal corner he’s painted himself into. “… get laid, the slower I age, the faster I heal, and the less sleep I need. All beneficial to fighting a war, yes?”

That’s all news to Anakin. Fascinating. “So do you have… other arrangements too?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “As of now, just Bail. I could, of course, visit the lower levels to the same effect, but I find it safer and more preferable to have intercourse with someone I like and trust.” Less likely to catch something that way, too.

Anakin nods, strange mixtures of relief and utter confusion swirling in his mind. At least he knows Obi-Wan has no interest in Padmé… but that doesn’t explain the way he felt his presence in the force, in her apartment.

“Okay. Uh.” He hesitates, knowing there’s no real, good way to word this. “Just… to be 100% clear, you’re not having secret meetings with Padmé in an attempt to overthrow Palpatine and the Senate?”

The look Obi-Wan gives Anakin would make someone think he had just grown a second head.

“… no, wherever did you hear such nonsense?”

Anakin rubs the back of his neck, feeling the last bit of worry ebb away. “Just rumors.”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “Truly, the Senate gossip gets wildly out of hand. I’ll admit, I do on occasion have tea with Padmé, but there’s nothing treasonous about friends visiting one another and trading stories and doing each other’s makeup from time to time.” He pauses. “And while neither of us have very high opinions on Chancellor Palpatine’s term, there’s no plot against him, as far as I am aware. We are both just eager for this war to end, and for him to release his emergency powers so the Republic can return to democracy.”

“You think his rule is undemocratic?” Anakin asks, looking appalled by the idea.

“He’s been in power long past his elected term,” Obi-Wan points out. “A new Chancellor should have been elected already. Over this time, he has used the war to gain far more emergency powers than any one person should hold.”

Sensing Anakin’s impending argument, he continues. “… Of course, this makes it far simpler to fight a war; I simply worry that when the war has ended… he won’t give up his power so easily. He has resisted peace talks, and every other attempt to bring this war to an end sooner. So I… have concerns.” He gives Anakin a tired sort of smile. “But last I checked, he hasn’t yet made it treasonous for Padmé and I to exercise our right to free speech.”

“Of course not,” Anakin responds, sounding distracted. He’s always thought having one person to make decisions was a good thing… or, does he just think that because Palpatine has told him it’s a better idea so many times?

He has many things to question. But, more importantly right now, Obi-Wan mentioned make-up?

Anakin shakes himself from his thoughts, giving his friend a curious look. “Uh. Rewind a second. Did you say Padmé did your make-up?”

“And I did hers,” Obi-Wan answers easily. “We both had dates.”

That would explain why they were, in some cases, sitting closer than friends would; as far as he could tell in the force.

“Bail takes you on dates?” Anakin asks, curious but trying his best not to be pushy about it. This is something new, which he never anticipated learning about his Master… he wants to know more, but as a Jedi with his own secret significant Senator, he understands the secrecy.

“Not all of them are Bail,” Obi-Wan answers after a moment, as if weighing how much he should admit to. “But yes, he does. He’s quite a gentleman really; I do look for other potential partners, but I fear he’s spoiled me for most.”

Anakin can imagine; having a Senator as a partner is pretty nice. “The tea is that good?”

“And the company,” Obi-Wan agree, a crinkle at the corner of his eyes. “I’ll admit… I’m glad you know now. I don’t like keeping secrets from you.”

That warms Anakin’s heart, so much that he doesn’t quite know how to express it, so he deflects. “If you have pictures of yourself in that makeup, you better not keep them secret anymore,” he teases with a grin.

the teasing pulls a laugh from Obi-Wan, who shakes his head. “I don’t; but I’m certain Padmé has plenty. I think she even took a few of us the one time Bail stopped by her apartment to pick me up.”

Oh, he is definitely getting those from his wife later. “So Padmé knows about you two?”

“She introduced us,” Obi-Wan admits fondly. “I don’t share details with her, but she’s a smart woman.”

That she is. “Why am I the last to find out?” He protests, trying his best not to let it come out sounding whiny.

“Because, my dear padawan,” Obi-Wan starts, gently ribbing him. “You are a dear friend, and an unparalleled partner in combat, but you can’t keep a secret to save your life.”

“I can keep a secret!” he argues! “I swear, Master, no one else will ever know. I only talk to you and Padmé, anyways.” He pauses, “Well, and Palpatine.”

“And he mustn’t know,” Obi-Wan insists, more serious now. “Bail is one of the leading senators advocating for clone rights and peace talks, Anakin. He is a good man. And, he disagrees with Palpatine quite often. I shudder to think what the Chancellor would do with this information, should he find out. I wouldn’t put it past him to use it in an attempt to not only discredit Bail, but to berate the Jedi as well.”

“But neither of you are doing anything wrong,” Anakin states, frowning.

Obi-Wan’s eyes close for a moment. “And it’s not wrong for a system to want to remain neutral and out of the war, yes? And yet, Palpatine did everything in his power to try to strongarm Republic forces onto Mandalore, even rushing a vote 3 days ahead of time, without Satine present, based on a doctored holorecording.”

Anakin doesn’t look at it that way… but he’s not going to argue with Obi-Wan where Satine is involved. Though he now questions how romantic their relationship really was, he knows they were, at the very least, close.

“Just please, don’t tell him, Anakin.” Obi-Wan persists, looking up at his friend beseechingly. “If for no other reason than Bail values his privacy.”

“Of course,” Anakin agrees easily. “Like I said, I won’t tell anyone. I just… nobody really talks to me about Palpatine like you are now. I guess most people know he’s my friend and are too afraid to say anything less than flattering… You’re giving me things to think about.”

“I try to be honest with you whenever I can,” Obi-Wan responds cautiously. “You aren’t a child anymore, and though old habits are hard to break, I don’t want to keep sheltering you as if you aren’t a capable adult.”

“I sense you have more to say,” Anakin prompts when Obi-Wan doesn’t immediately continue.

His friend nods, looking troubled. “I know he is a close friend of yours, Anakin, and one of the few people you knew and liked here, after leaving your home. Which is why I–mistakenly, I think–didn’t object to his interest in you. Initially, I had hoped another friend would make your transition from Tatooine to Coruscant easier… but… well. I find the way he treats you… inappropriate. In some cases, predatory.”

And with those words, Anakin suddenly feels on the defensive. No, Palpatine is his friend, like a grandfather to him. He isn’t… predatory, or–

Obi-Wan’s hands are up even before Anakin can think of a rebuttal. “I don’t claim to know all the details… but the fact that when you were younger, you didn’t feel comfortable telling me anything of your activities on your outings with him says quite a lot, Anakin. And more than that, when I started to suspect something was amiss, and attempted to join you on visits with him, or simply ensure you weren’t left alone with him, he used his position as the Chancellor to strongarm me into backing down. It was… is, concerning.”

And, that’s news to Anakin. He understands why Obi-Wan hadn’t told him sooner, too. He was a headstrong kid; any attempt to protect him, especially from someone he saw as a friend, Anakin would have just taken as Obi-Wan ‘controlling’ him. He knows better now; after years of being Obi-Wan’s equal. But then, it may have just pushed him away, and further from where Obi-Wan could attempt to protect him.

Still, he feels the need to explain himself. “It’s not– He didn’t do anything… like that…” He starts, floundering a little. “It’s just, I didn’t want to tell you, because he took me places I shouldn’t really be going, and I had fun, so…” might as well come clean now, it’s not like he can get in trouble for it anymore. “He used to take me on trips to the lower levels, like, clubs. And he taught me how to make a chance cube land on the side I wanted, so we would find corrupt senators, and cheat them out of their credits. And, Palpatine said he gave the money to charities, so we were doing good things, you know?”

Obi-Wan closes his eyes, and Anakin is reminded of when he tested his patience early on as a padawan, and his Master would silently count to keep himself calm.

He hasn’t needed to in a long time, not since well before Anakin was knighted.

And despite what the action reminds him of, Anakin knows his Master’s temper isn’t directed at him.

“… Anakin,” he starts, tone gentle but tight. “Please, just. For a moment, put Ahsoka in your place. If she was telling you what you are telling me now… what would you think?”

And Anakin’s gut does a flip, because deep down, he already knows.

He… he knows that Palpatine uses him, says one thing and does another, feeds him constant doubt about his friends, about the Jedi…

He knows this, and yet, no one before has had the nerve to say anything even slightly negative about Palpatine to his face. No one has ever dared do anything but say how great his close friend, the Chancellor, is.

Because like Anakin, people are afraid of him.

He feels a tremble start in his fingers, finally faced to acknowledge how afraid he is. How much it terrifies him to know that Palpatine holds all his secrets, that should Anakin ever be less than his enthusiastic friend, he could be ruined.

He, the hero with no fear… is afraid; a frightened boy in the face of a decrepit old man.

And only now can he show it, in the presence of the only person he’s ever known to have the courage to speak up about someone so untouchable.

As if sensing Anakin’s oncoming panic, Obi-Wan interrupts his thoughts, voice kind and sad. “Anakin, dear one, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He moves closer, and any restraint Anakin had breaks.

He feels 9 years old again, lost and seeking comfort in Obi-Wan’s arms. “I can’t say no,” he whispers brokenly. “Master– Jaieh, I’m terrified of him.”

Hearing Anakin call him Jaieh, like he hasn’t since he was young, since it was too hard for him to call anyone ‘Master’ without dredging up bad memories, Obi-Wan accepts Anakin into his arms, no hesitation or holding back.

Anakin needs support right now, needs to know that he isn’t alone in this, that if he asks, Obi-Wan would walk right into Hell with him. “Enoah foh bika, Anakin.” he promises him, reassures him. “Enoah foh mikeelal.”

“Paienoah kodaih bika,” Anakin says, but it comes out unsure, like he’s asking. Like he doesn’t know if he’s accepted, if he’s really not alone in this.

Obi-Wan’s heart aches, and he holds Anakin closer, pressing a reassuring kiss to his temple. “Haj Dai, Anakin. Paienoah kodaih bika.”

Anakin shatters then– or it feels like he does. So many doubts, so many fears, and Obi-Wan bats them all aside with a few words. Words said so easily, words Anakin feared shouldn’t apply to him.

He cries, his earlier suspicions and anger forgotten, absolved now, as he is faced with the truth that Obi-Wan cares for him; that his best friend is his truest ally, that Obi-Wan accepts him and will always accept him.

As he allows himself to acknowledge that Palpatine is a liar and a manipulator, and he is (and always has been) coming up with vile falsities in his attempts to drive a wedge between Anakin and Obi-Wan; the one person he can rely on absolutely.

And through it all, through his tears and his shattered sense of self, Obi-Wan holds onto him; not judgement or disgust, nothing but kindness and acceptance as he carefully picks up the pieces and helps Anakin piece himself back together.

How he could ever doubt Obi-Wan’s character… he would say he doesn’t know, but he remembers. He knows all the little things Palpatine said, all the betrayals he implied, the way he twisted Anakin’s thoughts to see himself pitted against Obi-Wan instead of regarded with him, as he should. They are a team, The Team.

He should have recognized long ago that their accomplishments aren’t a competition, they are an accumulation of the good they can both do, together and apart.

Anakin may be late, but late is better than never, and he recognizes it now, at his lowest and most vulnerable moment. A competitor wouldn’t hold him and build him back up, stronger than before. A friend does that, a friend and mentor and good person.

When he can speak, albeit in a watery way, Anakin wipes his eyes, face still hidden in his Master’s shoulder. “What am I going to do?”

The answer doesn’t come immediately, and that in itself is a reassurance. Anakin doesn’t want unthought-out platitudes, he wants honesty, and preferably, a plan.

“I don’t know what we can do right this moment, Anakin.” Obi-Wan admits. “He is still the Chancellor… and that won’t change until we end this war. But I can promise you this, my dear padawan, you will never have to go see him alone. You need only ask, and I will be by your side. And as soon as circumstances change, I will do all there is in my power to make sure he never comes near you again, Anakin.”

He sniffles, more reassured by the realistic response than he could ever be by promises that can’t be fulfilled.

“Then we’ll just have to try harder to end this war, huh?” Anakin goes for an optimistic tone, hugging Obi-Wan more snugly.

Another comforting kiss goes to his temple. Obi-Wan is frugal with his shows of affection, so it means all the more now that he is giving them so openly. “We will, Anakin.” He promises, and his voice is so steady, so sure, the rock that Anakin can always lean against. “Together, I doubt there’s anything you and I can’t do.”

“Together,” Anakin agrees, a knot in his very soul coming loose.

Obi-Wan is right. They are The Team, and that isn’t just a title. Together, they can do anything they set their minds to.

They can defeat Sith Lords, they can end a war, and maybe, just maybe, they can even save Anakin Skywalker’s soul from the Devil.

°|●.*•

Dai Bendu Translations

“Jaieh” || ● Simplified Meaning: Master

Literal Meaning

roots: ‘je’- mystic, ‘ai’- mastery, non ownership. so ‘one who is a Master in the ways of the Force’, implying more like a teacher than an owner.

“Enoah foh bika, Anakin. Enoah foh mikeelal” || ● Simplified Meaning: I am here, Anakin. I am with you.

Literal Meaning

Enoah fo - I am (in a permanent state, not transitive)

bika- here

[Anakin]

Enoah foh- I am (in a permanent state)

mikeelal - comitative ‘you’/with you.

“Paienoah kodaih bika.” || ● Simplified Meaning: We are here together, now and forever.

Literal Meaning

Paienoah - We are (in a permanent state, and this has implications for the future)

kodaih - Exclusionary ‘We’ - all of us jedi (exclusionary, implying the inclusion of Anakin in the Jedi and alluding to the exclusion of Palpatine as not a Jedi)

bika - here.

so essentially, “We are jedi, and we are together, and Palpatine is not, and this matters for the future.”

“Haj Dai, Anakin. Paienoah kodaih bika.” || ● Simplified Meaning: Yes, Anakin. We are here together, now and forever.

Literal Meaning

Haj Dai - literally ‘Force Wills’, a reassuring ‘yes’.

[Anakin]

Paienoah - We are (in a permanent state, and this has implications for the future) [italics stress is on ‘are’]

kodaih - Exclusionary ‘We’ - all of us jedi (exclusionary, implying the inclusion of Anakin in the Jedi and alluding to the exclusion of Palpatine as not a Jedi)

bika - here.

so essentially, “Of course, Anakin. We are jedi, and we are together, and Palpatine is not, and this matters for the future.”

Thanks to @jasontoddiefor @ghostwriterofthemachine for the translations to Dai Bendu, their fancrafted Jedi Language!

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kissjane · 4 years

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OH NO THEY WERE ROOMMATES / Very much unshort fic

#14 from this prompt list (I had to scroll waaaay down to get this link...)

Listen, for some reason these last few prompts from the list don’t wanna play nice. I have no idea whether this is any good, but at least it’s finished. I’ll settle for it at this point. Five to go!

We’re roommates but we’re falling for each other

It had started as a quick white lie, to get the boys off his back. They kept pushing him to go talk to any boy who looked at him a bit too long, or to give his number to basically any barista or waiter ever, or to go on a blind date with Basile’s cousin.

So Lucas had told them he had a thing going with his roommate.

Which was definitely not true.

But not because Lucas didn’t want to.

He’d had a crush on the handsome boy since he met him when he first came to look at the apartment with Manon. It wasn’t the biggest one he’d seen, nor the cheapest, but it had, well, other advantages, so to speak, so Lucas had been quick to co-sign the lease. If Manon suspected his reasons, she hadn’t said anything – but she had smiled when Lucas had come up with his fib.

Sadly, his fantasies of cooking together with his roommate, watching movies cuddled up on the couch, and slowly falling in love, had turned out to be a pipe dream. Eliott was mostly in his room. On occasions, he liked to blast dubstep. Lucas had soon figured out that the dubstep meant that Eliott was, uh, entertaining. The number of girls Lucas had walked in on early in the morning, before his first coffee, was staggering, and had quickly led to him putting up all his vague romantic ideas of his roommate.

But by the time Lucas was forced to come to the sad conclusion that the cutest boys were always straight, he’d already kinda committed to the story he’d told his friends, and so now he was stuck with it.

So every time he fantasized about another domestic moment of fluff with Eliott, he told himself it was for a good purpose. The girls were always bugging him for details about what he and his roommate were up to. They had declared them to be made for each other, and the discussions about their ship name were still in full vigor with no hint of them losing interest any time soon.

So Lucas provided.

He and Eliott had cooked pizza from scratch together, getting covered in flour, and accidentally setting off the smoke alarm because they were too busy making out to pay attention to the oven. Lucas ignored Emma’s eager question as to whether they had showered together to get rid of the flour dust.

Another time, he and Eliott had gone grocery shopping together, and Eliott had spun the cart on which Lucas had been standing so fast Lucas had fallen off, luckily into a pile of cardboard boxes. He’d still made Eliott kiss it better on each and every faint bruise as soon as they’d gotten home.

Or the time when they had held a Star Wars marathon, arguing about who was sexier, the young Han Solo or Dameron Poe, when Eliott had turned off the tv and complained Lucas was forcing him to compare a bunch of actors, when Eliott clearly had the sexiest boy of all in his arms.

The girls cooed at every concoction he fed them. In all honesty, it became hard for Lucas to remember none of this had actually happened – until the next scantily clad girl tiptoed through the hall on the way to the bathroom, bleary faced from the lack of sleep.

So after a few months of happy bliss, Lucas felt he had no choice but to break things off with Eliott. It became pretty painful to come up with lovey-dovey tales, and his fantasies were more and more often getting into… less family-friendly territory, which he wasn’t about to share with everybody.

His friends were a bit astonished at the news, and Lucas supposed it was weird, since he never even hinted at any trouble in paradise, but he shrugged it off, saying it was amicable, a joint decision, and he wasn’t even going to move out.

The downside was obviously that, after a few wonderful weeks of peace and quiet when everybody was coming around to the end of Lucas’ first relationship, Basile’s cousin came back into the picture.

Lucas tried to hold off, but he had no excuses left. And anyway, Eliott was playing dubstep almost every night, although Lucas hadn’t really encountered any pretty girls lately, and it grated Lucas’ nerves. It was time to admit he would never have Eliott, all his beautiful daydreams notwithstanding, so he might as well give somebody else a chance.

So he went out with Marc a few times. He was kind, and he had grey eyes, which Lucas recently discovered he had a thing for, so that was a plus. He was also a bit boring, and he tutted at Lucas disapprovingly when the latter tried to ride the bus without validating his ticket, but other than that, he was pretty okay.

And that’s how he found himself on the couch in his flat one evening. Marc and he had watched a movie – Lucas had nixed Marc’s suggestion of Star Wars vehemently – to the soft background music of dubstep coming out of Eliott’s room. It had been weird at first, but it had grounded Lucas somehow – Eliott was never going to be interested, and it was best if he remembered that and didn’t forget that Marc was here, and rather into him if the heated make-out session they were currently engaged in was to be believed.

Neither he nor Marc noticed the sudden appearance of Eliott in the living room, until the later coughed apologetically.

“Uh, sorry… I didn’t realize you had, uh, company, Lucas,” he stammered.

Lucas immediately let go of Marc, and blushed, then mentally berated himself. Eliott himself probably had a girl in his bed, so why would Lucas not be allowed to bring anybody over?

“Uh, y-yeah, no big deal,” he said, as soon as his vocal cords functioned again. “Uh, Marc, this is Eliott, my roommate. Eliott, this is Marc, my – uh…”

“Lucas’ boyfriend,” Marc cut in, a bit smugly. They’d never discussed their status, but Lucas supposed Marc had just made it clear where he was standing. He didn’t know how he felt about it.

Eliott stared at the two of them, his eyes wide. Lucas didn’t know what was going on.

“Uh, is this – is this a problem? We could go to my room, if you want…”

He hoped the problem wasn’t that he had brought home a boy. He realized he’d never talked with Eliott about his sexuality.

Eliott seemed to be slapped out of whatever daze he’d been in.

“Oh! Oh, no,” he quickly replied. “Please, it’s no problem at all. I’ll just… grab a drink and leave you guys, then… Bye, uh, Martin?”

“Marc,” Marc answered pleasantly, pulling Lucas close.

Lucas watched Eliott retreat into the kitchen – he whipped his eyes away as soon as he realized they were trained on the other boy’s ass in his tight jeans – and then returned his close-lipped smile when he passed them again on the way back to his room. The volume of the dubstep was turned on fractionally, and Marc wanted to continue the heavy petting, but somehow, Lucas wasn’t really into it, and though Marc clearly was angling for an invitation to spend the night, Lucas didn’t extend one.

He said goodnight to Marc, and went to his room. He sat still on his bed, his knees pulled up, his arms around himself, wondering how on earth he had gotten himself in this situation. Maybe he needed to move out anyway. It was clear his crush on Eliott, stupid and one-sided as it was, hadn’t died, and maybe it wouldn’t as long as he lived here.

A knock on the door brought him back into the here and now.

At his “Yes?”, the door opened, and Eliott stood right at the threshold, his hands wrung together.

“Uh, Lucas, I was wondering… Uhm, please don’t take this the wrong way, but, uh… I thought about earlier, and maybe, if it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle, I would indeed prefer it if you went to your room with your, uh, boyfriend in the future.”

The last words came out in a rush, and Lucas wondered if he heard them right.

“Excuse me?”, he uttered, painfully polite.

Eliott mumbled the same sentence as before, this time so low Lucas had to strain to hear it, but there was no doubt Eliott was actually saying what he thought he had been saying.

“Are you saying I can’t bring a guy over to my own flat, that I pay rent for, unless I go to my room with him? What the actual fuck?”

Eliott blushed.

“It’s just… You don’t have to, obviously, but maybe it would be easier for both of us…”

Lucas glared.

“Easier for both of us? How do you figure that, exactly?”

“I mean, you wouldn’t have to worry about me walking in on you…”

“I wouldn’t have to worry about that?” Lucas really was upset. Just because Eliott wasn’t interested in him, didn’t mean he had to be such a douchebag about other guys maybe being so. “Are you sure it’s not just about you? Your straight innocent eyes can’t handle two guys making out, is that it?”

A blush appeared on Eliott’s cheeks, and Lucas deflated. So Eliott was indeed uncomfortable with the idea. The moving out plan became more and more alluring by the minute.

It was silent for a long beat, and then Eliott spoke up, enunciating clearly.

“I’m not straight.”

“Huh? Don’t give me crap. I’ve seen most of your one-night stands. Very female, the lot of them.”

“Yeah, I know…” Eliott chuckled a bit self-deprecatingly. “I’m pan, though. I’ve been with guys too, just not…recently.”

In all honesty, the Lucas of a few months ago would have been elated to hear this. Right now, however, it was more a question of adding insult to injury. So Eliott was into other boys, just not into Lucas. It was this epiphany that drove him to bitterness.

“Yeah, well. At least girls have been doing it for you, then.”

“What? What do you mean?” Eliott sounded genuinely confused.

“All the dubstep. Have you even spent one night alone this month?”

When Eliott froze, Lucas almost wanted to take back his words. Eliott didn’t owe him any accountability.

“Uh, I’m sorry about the dubstep. I haven’t been seeing anybody for a while, but I… I kinda kept playing the music. I don’t know why.”

He was not looking at Lucas as he spoke, and he fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Oh. Well, it’s none of my business anyway, so, uh –”

“What if I wanted it to be?”

Silence.

“What?”

“What if I wanted it to be your business?”, Eliott repeated. He sounded unsure, but he stared straight at Lucas.

Lucas didn’t answer, sitting on his bed open-mouthed. What was Eliott trying to say? The other boy took a deep breath, and gingerly sat down next to Lucas, far enough not to touch him, but close enough to feel his warmth.

“I, uh, I brought over only girls recently because there was this one boy I was trying to get out of my head. And when that didn’t work, I didn’t want him to suspect anything so I kept playing music. It’s stupid, I know.”

Whoa. Lucas tried to unpack all of that in a logical manner, but he failed spectacularly.

“You played dubstep so I would think you had a girl over?”

Eliott nodded.

“And you brought only girls home because…”

“Because boys weren’t doing it for me, not when they weren’t you. Not that the girls were working out, either.”

There was honesty and vulnerability in his voice, and in his eyes.

“But why… why didn’t you just talk to me? You avoided me all the time… We hardly ever even spoke before now…”

“I know. I just, I crushed so hard on you, from the moment you came to see the flat. But I had no idea you were into guys… I thought the girl you were with was your girlfriend. You two seemed so affectionate.”

“Oh, uh, no, she’s one of my best friends, and an ex-roommate, actually. But I’m gay, so, uh…”

Eliott sighed.

“Yeah, I figured that out now. And it sucks, because maybe, if I had just made a move sooner… But it doesn’t matter. You have a boyfriend, and I’ll have to learn to live with that.”

Oh crap. Lucas had forgotten all about Marc.

“I wouldn’t call it that… We went out a couple of times… Mostly because it seems I was applying your tactic to try to get over a certain somebody I was crushing on… Somebody I too thought was straight, what with all the girls he was bringing home…”

He let his words die off, looking at Eliott.

It took him a few seconds, but then he turned towards Lucas, shifting slightly closer. Their legs touched, and it burned Lucas through Eliott’s jeans and his sweatpants.

“So, uh, if that guy promised not to bring over any girls anymore, could you be persuaded not to see Marc anymore?”

Lucas pretended to mull it over.

“Maybe if he also promised he won’t play dubstep if I ever end up in his bed, I think I could be, yes.”

Eliott laughed.

“I won’t have to play anything if we stay in your bed.”

And that sounded like a perfect compromise, so Lucas toppled Eliott and pressed their lips together.

#I write things #50 cliché prompts #Elu #skam france fanfic #oh no they were roommates #I didn't even edit this so please point out the numerous mistakes I undoubtedly left here

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randomeditscreates · 3 years

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The Force Awakens Breakdown

So I know no one gives a shit about my opinions on movies and my last post about the sequel trilogy [ST] But honestly I want to continue talking about these crap movies. So now that we got that through, lets start.

1) Jar Jar Abrams start this movie by basically ripping off the concept of the OT [Original Trilogy] The First Order [The empire] has taken over with a dark side user [Kylo Ren in this one, and Darth Vader in the OT] with a more powerful dark side user in the background pulling all the strings [Snoke and Creamy Sheeve respectfully] With an opposing side that happening to be small in numbers, [The Rebels and The Resistance(What they're resisting, no fucking clue, but it sounds nice)]

2) Rey Palpatine (I refuse to use the other name) is the protagonist of this story, and just so happens to live in a desert planet, you know like Luke. And happens to be the most laziest character Jar Jar and Kathleen Kennedy ever created. She's kind, and friendly and her only flaw is that she doesn't have any family. She's a scavenger, yet has so much proficient in the force, you would think she's been training for decades. She has great skill in flying ships and fixing them, that you would think, it would at least be a throwaway line. But nope, she has no reasoning for knowing how to fly or fix ships and the only reasoning we really have is that, Jar Jar wanted it, so he put it in. And throughout this movie and following ones, she picks up skills like their pokemon cards because fuck hard work. Now Rey pisses me off, not just because of her lazy character, but because during all the movies, nothing ever fucking happens to her, she doesn't get hurt to an extreme degree like Finn, She doesn't go through a huge revelation, all that happens is that Rey loses Han (someone she barely knows) then she magically beat Kylo,( who if you don't remember has years even decades over Rey in training) and then decides to find Luke. And that leads to the third problem...

3) The movie is too full. for being a movie that is 2 hours and 16 minutes, yes I fucking looked it up, this movie seems to drag on and not develop any of their concepts. Because while I fucking agree that Rian Johnson left fucking nothing for Jar Jar to work with, at least his story had some character development, and yes it dumb and breaks the world but I'll take what I can get. All the main characters in this movie all ends up the same as they start off with. Rey is a happy and kind character with no past, turns to Rey is a happy and kind character with no past and force abilities. Kylo Ren is tangled up Christmas lights drenched in yogurt and acid, and turns into a tangled up Christmas lights drenched in yogurt and acid, who ends up Killing his father. But if you remember is haunted by that death by TLJ [The Last Jedi] Poe Dameron is a self assured Spit-fired Pilot and ends up a Spit-fired self assured Pilot who's Not dead. Even the characters who do get develop, Finn and, oh my god, it's only Finn, get's completely rewritten in TLJ and gets the story arc redone just terribly. We can't even talk about Han, Leia or even Maz, because Han doesn't change and then dies, Leia doesn't get enough screen time to show anything about this character, and Maz is supposed to Yoda in a yellow and female clothing, and they do shit with that too because it leads to this..

4) Maz Kanata and holy fuck, she's literally the reason Han is dead. Maz yells very loudly to the entire cantina that Han Solo is here, which leads for the First Order to be notified. She somehow has Luke's lightsaber [It doesn't get explained, not even in the later movies] and somehow Rey is drawn to it, and leads to Maz giving advice, but you know the shitty type because it ends with Rey running away in the forest for her to get caught by Kylo. She tells Finn that he shouldn't leave, and that it turns makes him severely injured. And if you don't remember she does the same to Han, and he ends up dead. And her cantina gets fucking destroyed after being their for centuries, yet she couldn't give a fuck. and it shows the true issue, Jar Jar and Kathleen Kennedy in extent doesn't give a fuck about characters and just wants to to get from point A to point B with a lot of flashing lights.

5) Han Solo: Character Assassination. A character who developed into a man who was ready to risk it all for the rebellion. A character we loved in the OT is now broken down into his New Hope person all over again. Who apparently has scammed everyone in the galaxy? Um, Jar Jar, I know it might seem strange to you, but a smuggler needs people who trust him to get jobs and therefore receive income. But I guess I shouldn't expect much from the same man that think a Smuggler would want to be easily known or recognized. Also Leia and him are either broken up or divorced and that makes me feel really happy to know a couple that I loved are no longer together and one of this dead. Because Han Solo is just there for fan service and to shoot his gun, because that's what he's here for to go pew pew. Oh and to die, that what all the OT fans wanted, One of the main three characters killed by their own child.

6) Subtle doesn't exist in this movie, everything is given the delicacy of a hammer. We find out that Kylo or Ben, (I really don't fucking give a shit) is the son of Han solo, by Snoke just saying, the droid is in the possession of your father Han Solo, like no shit I assumed that when you mentioned the Millennium Falcon. Who would you think I thought Kylo was the son of, Chewbacca? Finn's story arc is the only one that makes you think, and brings a new aspect to the movies, and to the Stormtroopers. I just fucking wish we could do the same for the others Stormtroopers, because the other are killed with no regards that most of them, as Finn states were sold into this at a young age. Good job Resistance for killing all these people who was forced into this with no regards. How does a series that came like a decade before you (Star Wars: The Clones War Series) manage to develop the concepts that stormtroopers or clones are not mindless drones better than you. (The Rookie episode in the first season helps flesh out all the clones and they only have 25 minutes per episode, get you're shit together Lucas Films) And these are only the examples I could think of, off the top of my head.

7) Rey is a great example of Sexism, but instead it goes the other way around then usual. All the male characters are laughed at and or ridiculed, but all the females are perfect and don't need to change. One of the last scene is a great example of this, Kylo Ren, the one with years of training and two powerful masters who trained him, gets beat by Rey, someone who has no skill with a lightsaber and didn't even know she could use the force until Jar Jar decided to pull it out his ass. Even Finn who has at least close quarters fighting skills under his belt couldn't beat Kylo, and has to be saved by Rey. Now I will admit to being a feminist but Kathleen version completely differs from mine. Because while I believe both men and women are both capable of reaching the same level of skill, Kathleen think women should be able to do incredible things without working for it. And it clear by her stupid "The Force is female" Like shut the fuck up, the force was never given a gender, why the fuck are you doing it now? I also found out that most of the Crew in Lucas Film, happens to be female. and it's clear who's doing that. Again I am a feminist but I hate when people just have diversity for the sake of diversity instead of the person's capabilities. It's very vindictive of the Feminist movement, The Black Lives Movement and LGBT+ agenda as well, as we're trying to make people see them as just like everyone else which they fucking are (I will not stand for any form of bigotry and if you don't like something simply because of someone's race, gender or sexuality, you are shit human being) , they just so happen to not be a straight white man. And that they have the same struggles as everyone else. Also we already had strong female characters in the series without the big emphasis on the fact that they have a vagina. As from the basis, Star Wars was never about gender and because of this we got fully developed character we could relate to.

Now Dishonorable Mentions

A) This movie is fucking 2 hours and 16 minutes long, yet it feel so unfinished

B) Jar Jar Abrams deep seated love for mystery boxes and how it get more screen time then the actual Character it involves (Rey)

C) The movie could've been great, they're was definitely potential but it was dwarfed by mystery boxes and Visuals

D) Rey is not a Mary Sue in this Movie, she becomes one by the end of TLJ but she's not yet. So I guess it one positive.

E) Jar Jar inability for world Building, and doesn't even fucking tries to explain how the First Order even began to rise.

F) Poe Fucking Dameron, and the amount of time that is dedicated to him. I love him but come on, just make it someone like Han, as it could bring up the relationship between him and his son, which could then bring more emphasis when we reveal their relationship. But no lets bring up a character who we all assume is dead until about the end. And then does absolutely fucking nothing.

G) And Lastly when we see Han die, we don't get a scene of any of the characters we give a fuck about and who knows Han mourn his death, instead we just have two characters who had about 15 minutes of screen time with Han, and Chewbacca. And it doesn't get better because Rian Johnson decides in the second movie that we don't need a scene of Luke mourning over the man who fought side by side with him and is his Sister's husband. No Instead we get a scene of him drinking tit milk.

So that's it, well for now, I'll make another post for this if I have any more issues. But that it for now. I would also like to make it damn clear now, as I'll probably continue this, that me tearing apart a movie is based soley on the technical aspects of it. And that if you enjoyed this movie, you are entitled to it, but you cannot defend this movie's writing , because as I hoped I made clear, the writing is very much shit.

#star wars #rey star wars #rey palpatine #finn star wars #poe dameron #luke skywalker #critique

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elizabethsharmon · 4 years

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Now that s5 has ended what do you think about it? I remember seeing you be quite vocal about the season and then you just stopped and I was just wondering what your general opinion is. Did the fandom scare you away? :(

hey there! I kind of stopped being so loud about the show here cause at some point I just gave up about s5 and don’t worry, it would take a lot for fandom to scare me away and i’ll be back with my usual bullshit in 2 weeks with s6 clip by clip reactions ✌️ anyway, i was going through my archive while writing this to remind myself of what happened in each clip and what were mine and fandom’s reactions to it and somehow when I started writing this, it turned out I can’t stop and it got quite long so I'mputting it under read more:

So first of all may I just say that the trailer/firstclip was one of my favourite clips of all times. It was just SO GOOD and to meit was like a dream come true cause I was talking about dropping a clip andstarting a season on New Year since July AND THEY DID IT AND IT WAS E P I C,such a power move, I love it. Honestly everything worked there, the music wasamazing, it was so wonderful to see both squads partying together, it wasperfect, 11/10.

Then the season started and I absolutely loved thefirst two episodes, we really started to get into Arthur's head, to get to knowhim and his family, find out how insecure he is and how well he's hidingeverything from others, and Arthur and Alexia clips!!!! They worked so welltogether and were so cute and supportive, I said it back then that if they ruinthem I will never forgive them for that because what was the point of makingthem a couple in the first place?? I still don't understand that, I don't thinkI ever will... Fast forward to the first Wednesday of the season aka underwatermale gaze aka the moment I knew we're in for a ride and it won't be a goodone... When the clip started I was over the moon, I'm a swimming hoe myself andI loved that they used the pool for actual swimming, the cinematography wasbeautiful and I loved that they found a way to incorporate Lisa into the story.That was until Arthur dived and saw Noee... and sadly, this was the firstmoment I emotionally yeeted out from the season. Don't even get me started howwrong it was - 1. using the pool which is a sacred place in the show’smythology; 2. using piano music; 3. peak male gaze, objectifying Noee, andArthur staring at her even though HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND; they were setting it upas a love triangle from the beginning and after those 10+ weeks I still havethe same question about it as I had back then: why. It was also the first timefandom started to be hostile and the shipping war began, some people werecoming to my and my friends' inboxes, sending us anons to stop thinking theworse about Arthur, that love triangle will definitely not happen and thatDavid explained on his insta that they used the setting of pool in another waythan it was used in og s3... Well, jokes on you cause we were right. Anyway thatWednesday clip was to me the first red flag of the season, the first momentwhen some people started attacking others, when the fandom police started formingand suddenly you couldn't say anything because someone would jump on you andsend hate.

But I decided to let it slide, hoping that they reallywouldn't go there (spoiler alert: they did) and then we got Friday clips withelu housewarming (i'm still emo!!!) and Arthur losing his hearing permanently.It was absolutely heartbreaking to find out he lost hearing in his left ear 2years ago, it was a real game changer back then and suddenly everything changed- why he was looking at Alexia so intently, why he didn't cover his left ear atnye party, etc. I absolutely LOVED the way they handled the topic at thebeginning with Jerome explaining everything to Arthur and to us and I LOVED thepositive discourse it started within the fandom with deaf/hoh people teachingothers and explaining things without getting mad at silly questions - tbh to meit was one of the best parts of the first half of the season and I'm reallygrateful for it ❤️

Sunday clips with gang were one of my favourite in theseason, I think Arthur took us all by surprise when he went to elu's flat totell the guys that he can't hear and they were chaotic and supporting andamazing and wow, I really don't understand what the fuck happened and wherethey disappeared in the second half of the season. I loved that they hinted aturbex king Eliott and I kinda feel like that might come back in s6....... butanyway. The 7 amclips were absolutely one of the highlights of the season. They helped to buildsome sort of routine and Robin absolutely nailed them, I could feel howpowerless and more frustrated he was feeling AND I also felt betrayed that wedidn't get one on Thursday and Friday. Even though after the first pool clip Iwas dreading every single next clip there, I really liked that they were showingus that Arthur goes there every Wednesday, it really helped to get inside hishead and to understand him more and I kinda wish they hadn't stopped thatbecause it would be a really power move to keep showing that. Alexia in episode2 was just WOW, i can't believe there were people who were saying she andArthur don't have chemistry or that he should break up with her because she'snot supportive - well, she proved you all wrong. Too bad Arthur was too dumband self-absorbed to appreciate that.

BASILE/ARTHUR FRIENDSHIP. All their clips were solovely and heartwarming, I loved how different Basile was in Arthur's pov toBasile we knew at the beginning of s3; when he didn't want to leave Arthuruntil he said back that he loves him :'))) wholesome. I kinda wish we got tosee more of those two, they're definitely hanging out just the two of them andthat's what was lacking for me, those 3 or so clips of just the two of thembeing wholesome buddies were great but they were not enough.

The party clip on Thursday of ep2 was great, I lovedhow they're giving us little insights of deaf/hoh community and showing usArthur getting drawn to it. I wish that it wasn't overshadowed by love triangleand we got more of it, but I'll be back to it later...

Now, episode 3 and 4 were strong in the term of clipsbut those two weeks were incredibly boring when you were watching it in realtime. The breaks were too long, there were three clipless days each episodewith hardly any social media update and at times it made me forget about theshow completely. The bar clip in ep3 was great until they started sayingproblematic shit and tbh I was really starting to stress over Eliott then -first we got a hint that housewarming party was canceled because he wasn't feelingwell, now over a week later he's not feeling well again and Lucas' "he'smy boyfriend and i love him" was very cute and I loved it but it alsostarted to lead to misery porn and this dread didn't leave me until the end ofthe season and I'm still worried that it will play a part in s6 and it won't behandled well (disclaimer: this is not about the fact that they're talking aboutEliott's MI, it's about how Lucas started to act like a martyr and the way theystarted to show him acting almost like Lucille).

Episode 3 was also the time when I think it becameobvious that Arthur's short outburst of communication was gone and we'll haveto deal with next few weeks of miscommunication, sulking and hiding. Beginningof ep4 was another moment for me when I wanted to escape from this seasonbecause of the fandom police - they created as hostile atmosphere for the fanswatching in real time as druck stans did during s3, when you couldn't commentanything or say anything without other people jumping on you, calling you outand hating you, that for a moment again I was ready to give up on the show. Ireally wish I had done it.

As much as I liked stupid gang content in thecafeteria the whole clip was kinda odd and the 1,5 days break between the clipand laser tag was too much. I feel like the pacing in episode 4 really didn'twork in their favour and the clips could've been placed in another order sothat the breaks weren't so long. The laser tag was such a strong clip withbeautiful cinematography and colouring and it showed us Arthur's problems withsensory overload and again - I wish we could find out more about it because inthe end the clip was too short and cut abruptly only for Arthur to go to Noeeto see her dance in a scene that was pure male gaze, where the camera lingeredon her flat, bare stomach, a few times showing close up of her boobs. And yes.I am aware sing language is a bodily language. But the thing is that itcould've been shown differently, without so many objectifying shots, with Noeewearing different clothes, without Arthur staring at her with his jaw dropped.Arthur who - may i remind you - had a girlfriend at that time. I can watchgore, I can watch open surgeries, I can watch blood, and fight, and beating,and all that without the blink of the eye. i could barely watch the clip ofNoee dancing. I've never felt so sick after watching something in my life, Ihad to go offline for a few hours cause I was feeling so unwell. This was sucha fucked up scene to film in such a way, to objectify her, to use male gaze, touse piano music, slow motion, man looking at her in a predatory way, and thisscene was so wrong on so many levels itself but when you add to it the factthat Alexia NEVER got scenes like that and all her dancing scenes showed her basicallyas a quirky friend having fun at parties. And that's disgusting.

But let's move on to episode 5. I loved all the scenesin the asso, I loved that they showed Arthur actually going to LSF classes, Iloved how he confronted his father about it later. Though episode 5 was alsothe start of the boy squad becoming brainless idiots, lying to his friend,plotting behind his back, going to a concert without him. Episode of beautifulcinematography and skating scene that I watched trying not to think about thefact that Arthur is basically having a date with another girl while hisgirlfriend is studying for her bac, of an oblivious guy not wanting to stop itbefore it's too late and everyone's hearts will be broken.... I loved that hesnapped at the guys in the detention clip. I liked the following clip withAlexia, when they made her talk about her insecurities, showed us how strongshe is but also how fragile she is at the same time. But that Sunday of episode6 was the moment I ultimately realized I don't care any more about this season.It was already ruined for me. Alexia opening up, Alexia asking Arthur aboutNoee and him saying the worst ableist shit ever, Arthur breaking Noee'sheart... Those three clips made me realize that for me it's too late, thedamage is done, and I won't be able to enjoy this season for real. Alexia wasbound to get her heart broken, I was pitying Noee because it wasn't her fault aguy she had a crush on kept on leading her for weeks, and Arthur... I dislikedhim more and more and I just wanted it to be over.

I loved all clips with Laura and Melchior, the playfuldynamic in their interactions with Arthur was one of the best things of theseason and I can't stop but think that we could've had the same thing but withArthur, Noee, and Camille. Meanwhile Noee was reduced to manic pixie dreamgirl, a homewrecker, a plot device, and Camille was there only to translate(and later to be Mika's boyfriend). I really liked the clip with Noee andArthur reading her letter about cochlear implant, it was very informative andit was the kind of content I really wanted to see in this season. The onlything I hated about it - which was a recurring theme in clips with Noee... - isthat Arthur kept forgetting about Alexia and this was so unfair to her.

Now. The Valentine's Day. I loved the sourd datingclip, again, it was something that I wanted to see in the season and it was avery strong clip. But then the rest of the episode... I really wish it didn'texist. Jumping to the pool in clothes???? Arthur sharing his deepest trauma andNoee kissing him??? NOEE AND ARTHUR SHIPPERS JUMPING ON PEOPLE SAYING THAT SHEDID IT TO COMFORT HIM???? Sorry guys, I don't know about you but when myfriends are sharing something traumatizing to me I hug them or hold their hand,I don't kiss them with tongue. Also using a flashback??? It doesn’t go wellwith the show’s format, why was it even used???

Episode 8 was... Episode 8 was wild. And weird. Andstrange. And I don't really know what was the point of it. But despiteeverything crackfic farm au was at least entertaining and it was kind ofsomething we needed then after weeks of will they/won't they and hating Arthur.Whipped elu was everything, the fifi saga was hilarious and I rewatched itaround 50 times and it still makes me laugh - Maxence nailed it but ?? what wasthe point? they killed Eliott's bunny so that he would become vegetarian? Theywanted to traumatize him and cause him to have an episode that was cut in theend? (I really wouldn't be surprised, there are 2 clips missing from firstepisodes each, and probably more in the others). I really don't know what wasthe point. The 6h15 or sth clip was funny but if Lucas and Arthur hugging itout cause sorry bro / it's okay bro / bro / bro is what they're considering aproper apology then I'm sorry but it isn't. What's more, the pacing of thisepisode was incredibly off and the clips didn't add up and there wasn't anynatural flow to it - they should've madetwo clips on Sunday - with Arthur getting to the van and them arriving to thecountryside, two clips on Monday with 6 am and then Daphne and Basile, Fifitrilogy on Tuesday and then right after midnight on Wednesday Arthur and Alexiain the barn. Now, the cheating excusing convo... I was absolutelydisgusted by the boy squad and the fact that YANN who was cheated on in s1advised Arthur to not say anything... wow. Also I really don't like what Eliottsaid there, I understood it in that moment that he was mainly talking from aphilosophical pov that humans are never satisfied in general, but he was sayingthat during the cheating convo, right after he said that he cheated on his gfto get with his bf, he said it while Lucas was right there, knowing that he hasdeeply rooted abandonment issues and this is what made the situation worse. Ithink I'll talk more about the fandom reaction and team's comments later causethere will be a lot to unpack there so yeah, I'll leave it for now.

Because now let's move on to February 21, aka theFriday that changed everything. Can I just say that I have never seen a worseclip ever in my life? That wasn't skam. That was soap opera. And not even agood one. I can't even comprehend how they wrote THIS and thought it was good.I despise the choice of making Noee speak out loud with every fiber of mybeing. First they objectified her, reduced her to the plot device and 1/3 ofthe love triangle, and now they stripped her of her integrity for a guy who wasconstantly leading her on, who has a girlfiend. They made her so desperate tomake him stay with her that she lost a part of himself for him. And for who??For a guy who didn't give a fuck about her? Who constantly played with herfeelings? Who mocked her and her language and her culture and didn't do so onlywhen it was convenient for him? Honestly fuck him, fuck Arthur. And then A CARCRASHED INTO HIM LIKE ????????????? Someone please explain to me what was thepoint of that cause the only one I see was to provide a fandom with a greatfree entertainment.

Now, episodes 9 and 10 were overall much stronger thanthe past few weeks but it was already to late to salvage the season. We gotanother cheating apologists scene which was - again - absolutely disgusting,especially coming from Lucas - who gave Arthur the same advice he gave to Emma- and Yann - who was cheated on and knew from his own experience that stufflike that always come out in the end. It's like all their character developmentfrom previous seasons went down the drain. Arthur on the other hand seemed tohave a character regression with each passing week. I'm still appalled by whatLucas said - that Alex is their friend but Arthur is part of the gang. It wasdisgusting. And it was out of the character. And it was the worst possiblething that could've been said.

Coline's song was so beautiful and I was so happy thatArthur finally realized what he's lost, though I feel like all those intensestaring between Arthur and Noee was unnecessary again, it's like they couldn'tjust give us a break for one clip from them, it's like she was constantlystealing Alexia's moments, whether she was on screen at the time or not.

The clip with elu was sweet and gave us greatwholesome content, but it only confirmed that Lucas' abandonment issues woke upfrom their nap and I'm already dreading what they're planning to do with thatin s6, especially that according to the latest news Lucas is not very presentin the next season... The polyamory talk... It was odd. It felt force. Thebuildup to it wasn't done very well and what' more it was built on cheating.And that's doesn't bode well. It's also quite ridiculous how it took 1 minuteconversation with Lucas or even one sentence from him tbh for Arthur to go"oh yeah I'm poly. I think." and tell Noee that he loves her eventhough he spent the last couple of weeks denying that and pushing her away. IHATE that yet again they made her be so desperate and cry when he was tellingher this. That's not Noee they gave us in the first half of the season. Ireally liked the clip of Laura and Melchior and Arthur giving the presentationto the students but Arthur's grandiose speech to students and then to girls wasso strange, there wasn't any buildup to it, or more likely Arthur that we werehaving on screen from the end of ep 4 till the end of ep9 was gone and the oldArthur finally showed up. But nevertheless it was strange and not very fittingto the way how the story progressed.

NOW the last two clips - first was a little bit shortand I can't say I was a huge fan (though Eliott's kermit-like dance waseverything jdskjdkjjd) but the second clip was absolutely beautiful, we finallysaw Daphne talk, I'm still not sure what to think about Noee/Arthur (not reallya fan of how the story was resolved... or how it wasn't resolved), AND THEMURAL! LUCAS CRYING BECAUSE HE'S PROUD OF HIS BOYFRIEND! ELIOTT ONCE A YEARMAKING A MURAL OUT OF PURE LOVE! EVERYONE CRYING! ELIOTT NOT PAINTING HIMSELFBECAUSE HE DOESN'T CONSIDER HIMSELF PART OF THE SQUAD (although he is, I don'tknow why they don't understand it) and... Lola. But I guess I'll be back to itlater.

So now, I can't say I'm a fan of the season. I enjoyedsome of the clips, but overall it was a mess, love triangle and fandom and crewbehaviour ruined the season for me. I was absolutely disgusted but howprivileged fans acted on tumblr and on twitter. And yes. There are privilegedfans, fans who were shutting others up because they "don't want us to getour hopes up when we don't know what might happen", fans who were sayingthat "you don't know anything haha i can promise you don't know shit hahano i don't know anything and no i'm not jealous haha you just don't know buthaha tell me this oh how stupid you are", fans who were acting like afandom police all the freaking time, yelling at everyone to "wait and see!you don't know what will happen!". Well. We didn't. Because contrary to 5%of the "little ones-fans", the rest 95% is not privileged enough toget a special treatment, to be invited on set for filming, to know the detailsof the plot before the season airs, to know the bigger picture. It's not fair.If you really know everything then great, I'm happy for you, but let the otherswatch the show how they like, let them react to it clip by clip. Because mostof us don't know the bigger picture and don't know what will happen and how theissues will be resolved. And you are aware that the format of the show itselfencourages viewers to react to the events of the story as they resolve onscreen and through transmedia content, right? That's the essence of skam.Taking that away from the regular fans because you've been let in to some innercircle and know it all is absolutely disgusting. Don't interact with the fandomif you can't stand seeing people not agreeing with the writing choices,questioning what they watch and theorizing about what will happen. If you're soabove it, then just stick with the people like you, with those 5% or so ofknow-it-all and "enjoy" the show with them. Don't ruin the fun forothers. You're not better than anyone else. Don't act like it. Don't be ahypocrite. Don't act publicly as a fandom police, criticize everyone who sharesspoilers and call them out and write hateful posts, if you're doing the sameprivately, if you can't shut up when someone sends you a dm or a message offanon and suddenly you spill everything. Don't be fake. If you know stuff, thengreat, I don't know admit it and say that you want say anything or don't sayanything but then don't spread the spoilers and don't write cryptic comments inthe tags. It's not helping anyone and it's definitely not doing anything good.And to people on twitter currently posting what I guess they assume are vaguetweets about cast’s personal lives? Fuck you. You’re so loud, you know? Maybeyou think you’re talking in a special code only you and your friends can guessbut it’s so obvious and so disgusting, you really have no shame. Grow up andget a life.

Another thing that ruined the season for me was theway the crew was acting on twitter and instagram and I’m so so so disappointed by their behaviour,especially that I’ve always considered them as one of the most open-mindedteams who respect their fans and their opinions. Turns out they do that butonly when the reactions to the clips are positive. I mean, I kind of get it,obviously everyone wants to hear the praise, but you cannot ignore thenegative comments and fans’ concerns, especially that there were plenty of themthis season. And during social media age when it takes one click to see theliked posts or comments, it becomes obvious that the crew was only interacting (evenin such a passive way like liking comments or tweets) with fanswho were praising the show. All the negative comments and questions werebrushed off, saying that “the season will reveal its own truth” and that iffans will have any questions they will be answered after. Well, franklyspeaking, me and my friends have a list of questions that we’d love to get ananswer for:

- why was love triangle necessary?- why did they make Alexia and Arthur a couple in the first place if theywanted him to go after Noee?- why did Noee say she doesn't like talking out loud cause sign language is howshe communicates only to yell at Arthur to stop him from leaving, losing herintegrity for a guy who doesn't care about her?- car????????????????????????- cheating convos - why are they excusing it like that- treatment of Alexia & why did they include numerous comments about Alexia'sbody?- THE MALE GAZE - why did the camera focus so much on Noee's body, why was sheobjectified and why was she presented as a stark contrast to Alexia?- fifi?- p*trick and why the abuse was introduced so late in the plot and overshadowedimmediately by cheating and then followed by crackfic farm au?- why didn't we see any Arthur centered clips where he shows he likes art?- why did Arthur and space have no relevance in the season???- why are Lucas and Yann saying shit every time they open their mouths and whydid they forgot about everything that happened in s1?- the whole convo with the boy squad on valentine's day and how shitty theirreaction was - why?- why we didn't see any actual squad interactions on holidays and no realapologies?- why does the life of the characters always has to revolve around romanticrelationships?- why can't men and women be friends unless the man is gay?- what was the point of all the ship wars and skamlaserie photo withArthur/Alexia and Arthur/Noee *especially* after all the comments on twitterand on Instagram when fans were fighting already and it only made thingsescalate? Why not stop it, why pit fans against each other, why let it escalatelike that?- why draw parallels between elu and Arthur/Noee?- Why was Noee reduced to love interest and Camille to translator 90% of thetime and why don't give them similar dynamics with Arthur as Melchior and Laurahave?- how can Arthur see underwater?- Catherine - was she just a queerbait?- tuturo comment from the forum and Arthur's 'relationship' with 34 yo - whywasn’t it mentioned ever again?- how could noee not know arthur has a girlfriend since she was following himon instagram and he had photos with alexia there?- what happened with basile's birthday since they never celebrated them??- in samedi 11:04 (5x10) eliott says "i've got some croissants, do youwant me to heat them up?" which implies that he's already bought them andbrought them back to the flat BUT he's putting his jacket on as if he was aboutto leave and then he leaves and slams the door so what's the truth?

The crew completely invalidated the feelings andconcerns of the fans and what added fuel to the flame for me was thatskamlaserie post with Arthur/Noee/Alexia and caption that they can’t choosecause they love them both and… Honestly, who the hell works there. There’s beendrama for the whole week on twitter and under David’s posts on insta andinstead of finally end it, idk block the comments or just make a statement ORWHATEVER, they posted THAT on the official show’s account?? Why haven’t they stopped it? Why did they keep on pitting fans against each other up to the point that one twitter user started getting DEATH THREATS only because they translated some video??? Absolutely disgusting.@skamlaserie and @fr team: hate to break it to you but there's nothing wrong with being single andthere's plenty of teenagers who aren't in relationships in high school andthat's okay... maybe that's how Arthur should've started the season instead ofbecoming a cheater and leading on two girls at the same time just for the sakeof having unnecessary relationship drama which literally only created somepointless ship wars and put half of the fandom off watching the show... just saying.

Then, another things that rubbed me the wrong way werethe whole “canceling” discourse (that never really happened and I still standby what I said in the comments to this post so I’ll just direct you to it) and imposingthe one “right” interpretation on the fans - I specifically have the cheatingconvo from episode 8 in mind now. We all have a right to our owninterpretations of every scene, here many people saw it as Eliott’s commenthaving an effect on Lucas and his abandonment issues and started commenting onthat on twitter and David had to rush to explain that he hadn’t meant Lucas,that Eliott won’t cheat and that they won’t break up and will stay together.Well, the thing is that there’s such a concept as “the death of the author”which I suppose you can already guess from its name says that the author, theirbeliefs, backstory, opinions, etc. shouldn’t be taken into account wheninterpreting the text because writing (or in this case - a show) and creatorare separate entities and shouldn’t be correlated. First of all, thismetaphorical extinguishing of fire seemed pointless and like a mockery, seeinghow two episodes later it turned out people were right and Lucas really tookEliott’s comment personally and his insecurities and abandonment issues wereshowing up again; secondly, after that there were many comments from the crewabout how Elu will stay forever and never break up and maybe it’s just me but Ithink that was obvious, right? So why would they keep repeating that? Unless…something will happen in s6 that will make us doubt that and it’s a preemptive damagecontrol 🙃

So to sum up this monstrosity that I have no idea ifit even makes any sense BUT ANYWAY: I liked some of the things in s5 but overall Ireally really didn’t like it, some people in the fandom were incrediblyannoying and turned out to be fake and complete hypocrites, and the crew’s behaviour on socialmedia leaves a lot to be desired and I can only hope they will acknowledge anycriticism of s6 and won’t blatantly ignore fans’ criticism again. So that’d beit. If you read it till the end then you’re stronger than Sabrina giffingArthur getting hit by a car and I respect you for that cause even I haven’t reread it, have a nice quarantineand stay safe!

#skam france #skamfr #anon #answered #maggie talks

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unexpectedreylo · 4 years

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“Self-Care” For The Sad, Angry, And Disappointed

First off, your feelings are 100% valid. Don’t let anyone tell you they are not. I’ve been on a rollercoaster myself of feeling okay one minute and bringing back that feeling of loss the next. I’ll be honest...this brings back to some degree feelings from my cousin’s death and Carrie’s death three years ago.

I can tell you that a big part of what you are experiencing is two-fold. One is the dashed expectations of a HEA that so many fellow Reylos were utterly convinced was going to happen. I was convinced even though I still knew a bittersweet ending was a possibility. The other is the post-release “downer” you would be going through regardless...we’d been anticipating this film for a long time and now that it’s out and this trilogy is over, there’s a feeling of loss. I know because I experienced this two times over with the release of ROTJ and ROTS.

But there are constructive ways to handle those feelings and destructive ways that won’t change the situation and won’t help you. I struggle with it too, trying not to get too sarcastic with others who liked the movie and/or are trying to justify what happened (it might just be their way of coping).

Acknowledge your feelings and get them out in your own space. Don’t bury your feelings and pretend they’re not there. It’s fine to sound off on your own blog or account. If you don’t want to argue with anyone, keep your post private or open to only a select few. Commiserate with like-minded fans on DMs and Messenger.

Others are entitled to their feelings/opinions. This is perhaps the most difficult part. There are fans who have a totally different set of priorities than you do or just aren’t invested in the same things. If it gets on your nerves too much--and believe me sometimes it can--just mute or unfollow those folks for a while.

Don’t do anything rash or drastic. I’ve been seeing posts from people saying they’re done with Star Wars and they’re going to burn all of their stuff. When I got home from the theater, my order with a Kylo dress from Torrid had arrived. For a hot second my first thought was to send it back. Then I thought no, hold off on that. It’s okay to want to take a break from Star Wars for a while but I would advise against dumping your collection or anything like that for the time being. Wait until you’re not hurting anymore.

Take care of yourself and take care of business. Don’t neglect yourself or things you have to do. Eat, go out with friends, get your nails done, get a facial, treat yourself to something, engage in a little retail therapy. Working out can help with depression, anxiety, and frustration. It might be hard to sleep now but get as much rest as you can. Take your mind off things with a silly, stupid movie or a holiday classic like A Christmas Story or National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

Do something positive. Check out this GoFundMe fundraiser for Arts In The Armed Forces (AITAF) as a thank you to Adam Driver from fans for bringing Kylo Ren/Ben Solo to life. AITAF’s 2020 entire fundraising goal was $31,000. As of writing, the fundraiser is has blasted past that to over $33,000! Star Wars fans alone have put AITAF in the black for another year, folks! If that’s not the power of the Force I don’t know what is. (Of course, you can also donate to AITAF directly.)

Turn your broken heart into art. Fandom is about infinite possibilities. Canon is just the starting point. That’s been true since the days of fanzines. Keep doing your Reylo fan art. Write fan fic that will give you and other fans closure. The bad guys win if you walk away from the ship forever.

Use it as motivation. Write a novel or a screenplay where the bad boy is not only redeemed, he finds love and lives HEA. Make #BenSoloDeservedBetter the new Han Shot First. As annoying as it was, that persistence got George Lucas to refine his edit so that people were happier while he retained his vision. Fans demanded they finish The Clone Wars and now we’re getting it in two months. Fans wanted Chewie to get a medal and 20 years later, he did. I’m thinking about organizing something at SWCA 2020 myself. This is about the long game. Leaving fandom means Ben never has a shot at justice.

Remember it won’t feel like this forever. Feelings are very raw right now for some of you but time will ameliorate that pain. I promise you.

#reylo #reylo fam #reylo fandom #self care

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blessed-but-distressed · 5 years

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#FindEmmaSwanAFriend

Feeling left behind by her more successful, settled friends, Emma Swan moves to Scotland on a whim. Sure, she’s winning at Instagram, but something is still missing from her new life. Fortunately, her friends back home are on it. #FindEmmaSwanAFriend goes viral. Enter Killian Jones, reluctant columnist, who is on the hunt for his newest subject, and may just have found her. CS AU

***

also on ff.net and ao3

***

Tagging: @katie-dub , @wholockgal , @kat2609 , @whovianlunatic, @optomisticgirl, @ladyciaramiggles, @the-lady-of-misthaven, @emmaswanchoosesyou, @ilovemesomekillianjones, @biancaros3, @cigarettes-and-scotch-whisky, @ms-babs-gordon @ab-normality, @andiirivera, @fangirl-till-it-hurts, @onceuponaprincessworld , @natascha-remi-ronin, @kiwistreetswan and whoever else asks me.

***

A/N: Part 1 of 2. We’ll get there when we get there.

***

Emma

It had been building for weeks. Months, really.

It began with a series of fences up on the Castle Esplanade, robbing the selfie-stick set of their outlook towards Arthur’s Seat. Before long it became a full-blown construction site, scaffolds looming up on either side of the tarmac like a bad omen.

Then came the anti-terrorist bollards on the Mile, at once ugly and terrifying in their design. By the time the placards went up at the tail end of July, you could feel it in the air, like an encroaching thunderstorm.

August.

For as long as she’d lived in Edinburgh, Emma had heard the war stories.

A bloody nightmare, was how Killian had once phrased it. Imagine, if you will, if every insufferable wanker in London with even the slightest dramatic inclination took it upon himself-

Or herself, Tink had interrupted.

Or herself, he’d amended, with a roll of his eyes, to decamp 400 miles up the East Coast line, en masse. And not just for a weekend, either. An entire month. And then imagine they proceed to spend that time putting on dodgy comedy shows, getting pissed as newts, and trying to get off with each other.

Don’t forget the inflated prices, Will had cut in.

The traffic, Tink lamented.

Hipsters with posh accents taking up all the seats in your local, Will added mournfully.

The flyers, Killian sighed. At that, the other two groaned.

So it’s busy? Emma had asked.

Aye, Swan, Killian had replied, a weary glint in his eye. It’s busy.

***

It wasn’t that she didn’t believe them, exactly. She’d seen the crowds at Christmastime, swelling up around the markets in Princes Street Gardens. She’d stared the drunken aftermath of Hogmanay in the face, and lived to tell the tale. She knew busy.

The Festival was, well… most days it wasn’t unlike navigating the Battle of Thermopylae. Every major thoroughfare, every centrally located eatery turned into a desperate crush of bodies, all attempting to coexist in too little available space. And there on the periphery the thespians lay in wait, ready to exploit any signs of weakness.

The first few days, she took every flyer on offer. It was the polite thing to do. But as her bag, and the crowds swelled, she was forced to reassess. By week’s end Emma learned to do as the locals did, keeping her head down, headphones in, and her hands stuffed in her pockets at all times.

So when August, the man, promised Emma he could sneak her into the green room at the Book Festival, she took her chance to escape the rabble.

Compared with the madness up on the Mile, the Book Festival in Charlotte’s Square was an oasis of calm. The crowd skewed older, and it showed. They sat drinking up the sun in plastic lawn chairs, whiling away the hours until the next panel or signing with the unhurried air of the newly retired. Yet even as she sipped her overpriced plastic cup of gin, Emma felt content.

It was summer. She was on vacation. And she was one Q & A session away from having her apartment all to herself again.

“Emma!” Her houseguest fell onto the grass beside her, spilling half of his gin in the process.

“You got them?” Emma asked, leaning over to top up his drink with some of hers.

Taking a few surreptitious glances in either direction, August unzipped his jacket, and tossed something into Emma’s lap. “I’m a man of my word.”

Emma wouldn’t go quite that far, but she snatched it up anyway. It was a sweater, pale blue with a prominent STAFF designation across the back. Her ticket into the green room. “And where did you get that? Did you slip some poor underpaid usher a tenner, or something?”

August just tapped the side of his nose, and smiled his usual mysterious smile.

Tamping down her urge to kick him, Emma sighed and pulled the sweater over her head. It was a little big on her, but not comically so. She rolled up the sleeves, and waved a little to get August’s attention.

“What do you think? Do I look like I’d volunteer at a Book Festival?”

“No,” he replied, without looking at her. “And I think your columnist just came out of the Zadie Smith signing. Kevin?”

She squinted against the sun, to where the crowd was pouring out from the Signing Tent. Sure enough, there was a familiar monochromatic figure loping his way across the square. It’d been more than a month since she’d seen him, but if the signature walk hadn’t given him away, the outfit would’ve. Who else would insist on black leather in the middle of summer?

“Killian,” Emma corrected automatically, already regretting rising to the bait.

August knew full well who Killian was. He’d Facebook stalked him the same as Ruby had. He read his columns religiously, picking them apart in their group chat with the zeal of a literature major on Adderall. He just liked being a dick.

As they emerged from the throng, Emma saw the petite woman at Killian’s side, matching his stride in impressively tall heels.

How does she walk in those things? Emma wondered to herself. But before she could voice this aloud, August was already on his feet.

“I’m going to go say ‘hi’.” There was a twinkle in his eye, one she didn’t much like the look of.

“August...” Emma gave a low warning, but it was too late. He’d already passed her the last of his drink, and disappeared across the square.

Lord help her.

Downing the last of the gin, Emma straightened her sweater one last time and went after him.

***

August wasn’t famous, exactly. His debut, a semi-autobiographical account of his early twenties backpacking through South East Asia, had made some waves when it first came out. There’d been movie interest. A profile in the New Yorker. Everyone was a sucker for that foster-kid-made-good fairytale.

But when he switched focus to fantasy fiction, his agent jumped ship. Likewise, most of his readership. These days, he was what Emma might charitably call a “midlist author.” Consistent, but not exactly setting the world on fire. Mostly, he survived under the radar, letting the royalties from his successful debut prop up his middling career. But every once in a while, he’d run into a fan in the wild, and things would get... strange.

When Emma finally caught up to August, she came to two sudden realizations;

On closer inspection, the woman with the impressive ability to navigate across grass with spike heels was none other than Belle. Librarian Belle. As in, I-really-like-sad-songs-and-married-a-complete-douchebag Belle.

Belle was staring at August with the kind of gobsmacked, I-just-swallowed-a-goldfish expression that could only mean one thing: She was a fan.

“You know August Booth?” Belle shout-whispered to Killian. The hand clinging tightly to Killian’s bicep might’ve stirred Emma’s interest, if she didn’t think it was all that was keeping the girl upright.

Killian seemed entirely puzzled. “Err… in passing?” He looked from August to Emma, searching for a lifeline.

“You’re a Swords of Storybrooke fan, I take it?” Emma asked, helpfully.

Belle seemed to shake herself a little. “Emma! Hi!” She reached across to give her a one-armed hug, the best she could do with the books still cradled against her chest with her other hand.

“Are you kidding? I’m in love with those books! I have the last line from Good Form tattooed on my-” She trailed off abruptly, cheeks flushing red. “Sorry,” she said, turning again to August. “You must get that all the time.”

“Not as often as I’d like,” he said with a flash of teeth. “Always nice to meet a fan. It was Belle, wasn’t it?” Emma saw the flash of recognition cross his face, as he matched the name with the story. “You’re a friend of Ruby’s, right?”

“Ruby? Ruby Lucas? Uh, yeah. We dated. Sort of. You know her?”

“We go back a ways. Do you like gin, Belle?” he asked, coaxing her closer to the bar. “I heard they’ve got some here that tastes like Earl Grey…”

It took Emma a moment to realize she’d been abandoned. Alone. With Killian Jones. Exactly as August, that slimy son of a bitch, had intended.

To his credit, Killian looked similarly startled, trying and failing to cover it with a casual scratch behind his ear. It was just a small thing, but it killed her.

“Sooo…” he began, never one to leave a silence unfilled, “Been a while…”

5 weeks, not that she was counting.

“Not that I blame you for avoiding me, mind...” he added.

“I wasn’t-” Her first instinct was denial, but she swallowed it back down. He knew her better than that. “Yeah, okay, I was, a bit. Sorry. I just needed…”

“Space,” Killian finished for her.

“Yeah. Space.”

The smile they shared was fragile. Precious. She wanted to tell him she’d meant to call. That she’d had to fight off tears the whole time she’d read through his latest column. She wanted to tell him what it had meant to her.

Instead, she just said the first stupid thing to pop into her head.

“Sorry, I think August just stole your date.”

“Date?” Killian looked back to where Belle and August had disappeared, and it dawned on him. “Belle?” His laugh was incredulous, if Emma was any judge. “Err… no. We just kind of met in the line.”

“To Zadie Smith, right?”

“Aye.” He held up the autographed copy of her latest, before tucking it back under his arm. “Elsa’s a big fan. Her birthday’s coming up, so-”

She felt a prickle of attraction and hated herself for it. Just because he was a good brother-in-law, it didn’t mean she had to let her guard down again. Ted Bundy had probably been a great brother-in-law too.

“She’s coming home soon?” Even as strained as things had been, he’d been unable to keep the implosion of his home life entirely to himself.

“Next week. Let the boys settle back into things before school goes back.”

“And things with her and Liam are…?” She let her words trail off, not wanting to overstep.

“They’re… I don’t know.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “They’re talking now, at least. These long, overwrought transatlantic Skype conversations that I pretend very hard not to overhear. It’s a start, I suppose.”

Emma shrugged in agreement. As thoughtful responses went, it fell short of the mark. But what did she know about fixing a broken marriage? She’d had one functional adult relationship in her entire life, and she hadn’t even made it through the entire proposal before she’d cut and run.

“So you’re working here?” he asked suddenly.

“Huh?” She looked down, confused, only to realize she was still wearing her baby blue STAFF sweater. “Oh, this? No, this is stolen. Or borrowed? You know what? I’m not really sure on the specifics.”

“Oh..kay?” Amusement was definitely winning out over his confusion.

Emma shrugged. “August said he’d sneak me into the Green Room. This is part of my cunning disguise. Pretty convincing, huh?”

“You know they check lanyards at the door, right?”

She didn’t. Fucking August.

“There is, of course, another way in…” He tried for his usual irrepressible swagger, and it rang a bit hollow to Emma’s ears. But he was trying.

“Oh, is there?” she asked , crossing her arms sullenly over her chest.

He nodded, eyes growing brighter as they fell into a more familiar rhythm. “A secret way. Only known to the chosen few…”

Emma shot him a flat look.

With a grin and a flourish, he pulled a lanyard from his pocket, and held it out for her inspection.

It was identical to his in every way, right down to the Saorsa logo stamped on the back.

“Our photographer never made it, so I had a spare. What do you say, Swan? Want to ditch that awful jumper and join the big leagues?”

Emma cocked her head, considering this proposal. ”Would I actually have to take photographs?”

“If you like. But you’d definitely have to hold the camera. Authenticity and all that.”

“And we’d breathe the same air as actual famous authors?” She was kidding, but only a little.

“Breathe the same air, eat the same Chocolate Digestives. We could even talk to a few, if you like.” He shrugged. “That’s kind of why I’m here.”

Somehow, that trumped her original plan of playing the wallflower while August caught up with his cadre of fellow fantasy authors.

She didn’t say anything, but Killian must’ve already intuited her answer, because he gently pulled the lanyard from her grasp, and slipped it over her head with a smirk.

“Congratulations, Dr Swan. You’re now a proud member of the fourth estate.” He held out a hand. “Shall we?”

Emma looked down at the proffered hand and hesitated.

It was just a hand, and it wasn’t. Because here was the truth: Emma had started to trust Killian Jones. Started to lean on him. Confide in him. And even now, after he’d kicked the metaphorical chair out from under her and shown he was capable of being a complete ass when the mood struck, she still wanted to.

It was a hand, but it was also a second chance.

And maybe it made her weak, but Emma reached out and took it.

***

I can’t believe I met a Pulitzer Prize winner! ES

I can. You only made me take twenty pictures of the two of you together. KJ

Funny. ES

Not a hardship, I can assure you. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. It was good to see you, even if only for a wee bit. KJ

Huh. Sincerity. Not sure what to do with that. ES

I’m trying a new thing, where I occasionally let the people in my life know that I actually appreciate their company. KJ

And how’s that working out for you? ES

Will is now convinced I harbour a dreadful crush on him, and Liam asked me if I had a concussion. Soo… I’d call it a work in progress ;-) KJ

Good to see you too. ES

***

August’s Q & A went better than expected, if you didn’t count the guy at the front whose question was more of a diatribe, really, about all the things he would’ve done differently.

There was always one.

But on the whole, the genuine fans outnumbered the assholes, and it took a good two hours to finally extricate August from his adoring masses, after the fact.

He was already flushed, drunk on ego and free booze when he finally emerged from behind a tent flap, and pulled Emma into a lazy hug.

“Where to next, oh tour guide extraordinaire?” he asked with hot gin breath.

Emma grimaced, and held him at arm’s length. “There’s no next. You have a train to catch, remember?”

“Last train for London isn’t for another three hours,” August shrugged. “Still time for a last bit of revelry. Didn’t you promise you’d actually take me to a Fringe show?”

She had, but she’d also counted on August being distracted by his own brilliance long enough for her to welch out of that particular contract. The last thing she felt like doing was wading back into the madness of the Old Town.

“It’s kind of last minute…”

But August already had his phone out, scrolling through the app and Emma knew a lost cause when she saw one.

He looked up suddenly, eyes lit with a tantalizing prospect. “How far’s the Tron?”

***

During the semester, The Tron was a studenty kind of hang out. Plenty of drink specials, and always a free table downstairs. She usually avoided the place, none too eager to bump into her students during their messy nights out. Least of all during hers.

During the Festival, however, it was a very different beast.

Gone were the baby faced clientele, and reasonable prices. It was standing room only, and foreign accents were more common than not. In this crowd, she might’ve been just another festival-goer, at a loose end between shows.

Even with having the push through the late afternoon crowds on the Mound, they still made it with ten minutes to spare before August’s chosen comedian started his set downstairs. She sent him down to save them some seats, and after a lot of pushing, shoving and gratuitous cleavage displays, managed to attract the attention of the nearest bartender.

“Alright, love?” he asked, with little better than a leer.

She ordered a pint for herself, and a tap water for August.

“That’s £10.”

Emma nearly swallowed her tongue. “For a pint? That’s extortion!”

The bartender shrugged, snatching the bill from her hand. “That’s August.”

She turned around, drinks in hand and the crowd surged around her, gunning for her vacated space by the bar. Some of her lager slopped onto the shoes of the guy in front of her, and she was halfway through her apology before she took a look at his face, and froze.

Graham.

Her Graham. Standing in The Tron. And decidedly not somewhere in Northern Ireland, studying the possible ramifications of Brexit on the Irish Border. Contrary to the text he’d sent her two hours ago.

“Emma, hey!” the words were friendly, but there was no disguising the tension in his jaw.

He was not pleased to see her.

And when Emma looked behind him, and saw the dark haired young woman whose hand was clutched tightly in his, she realized why. It wasn’t just the white knuckled hold they had on each other, so they wouldn’t lose each other in the crush.

It was the matching silver wedding bands.

Mother. Fucker.

Emma barely had time to process before she was tipping her overpriced pint down his shirt. All £10 of it.

The crowd of people around them suddenly went deathly quiet, so quiet Emma could hear the rush of her own blood inside her ears. She saw at least one person raise a camera phone.

Graham, himself said nothing. Even as his companion, his wife, stared between the two of them, dumbfounded.

“Sorry,” Emma said, with the least amount of sincerity she could muster. “Really crowded in here, huh?”

The crowd parted for her as she left. Someone even slow clapped. It was all she could do to keep her face level until she was outside on the Mile, already dialing August’s number.

***

August never did end up catching his train that night. Instead they went back to Emma’s flat, and tore through Emma’s entire cache of American candy while bingeing episodes of Bake Off.

It was only around 3am that she finally let him lead her into her bedroom, tucking her in like she was still a kid. Like nothing had changed in the last twenty years.

“You don’t need to say it,” she said, as he settled on top of the covers beside her, both of them staring at the ceiling.

“Say what?” he asked, leaning over to turn off her lamp.

“That my taste in men sucks.”

August snorted, settling back down beside her. “Well, you said it.”

“You’re right,” Emma admitted to the dark. “And you were right about Walsh. I didn’t love him. I just kind of… got used to him. And it’s not the same thing.”

“No,” he agreed. “It’s not.”

She turned over then, so she could see the vague outline of his face in the near darkness. “Have you told Jefferson how you feel, yet?”

They’d never discussed it. Not explicitly. But from the moment August had introduced his editor into their little group, Emma had known. And it didn’t seem to matter that Jefferson was a widower. Or a single father. There was something there, something between them as they traded insults and bickered over line edits. Something more than colleagues, or even friends. Something rare.

The silence was telling, as August regrouped.

“I wrote him a letter, once,” he confessed. “I was going to submit it with my finished manuscript. Right on the last page. But I ripped it up before I could give it to him.”

Now it was Emma’s turn to snort. “We never stood a chance, did we?”

“Some kids get trophies. Foster kids get abandonment issues.” It was a recitation. A line she’d heard before.

They knew the truth of it better than anyone.

#cs ff #cs au #findemmaswanafriend #cs fic

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gobydana · 6 years

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Amazing Quotes from the comics

Below are some of my favorite quotes from each person. Sorry this list is long.

Bruce Wayne/Batman

- Death is powerless against you if you leave a legacy of good behind. Death is powerless against you if you do your job. My father saved the lives of over four thousand people, one at a time... with his bare hands and his mind. Death was with him the entire time.

- Clark, I'm sure anywhere you go in the universe, you'll find stupid people.

- You don't know how I question myself and everything I've become. The right of it. The wrong of it. Not allowing myself any reward for the good. Damning myself for every mistake. Thinking of everyone who's sacrificed themselves in my war. Everyone close to me. Everyone who cared.

- Our greatest glory is not in ever falling, but in rising every time we fall.

- Sometimes it’s only madness that makes us what we are.

Selina Kyle/Catwoman

- Live fast. Love hard. Die young. Leave a good-smelling corpse.

- A long time ago, before I put on this mask, I was afraid of everything

- "Your ex-lover, a murderous psychopath who has repeatedly made our lives a living hell, nearly burns my new home to the ground and all you can say is 'gross'?!

- Show a man what he expects to see, and he won't look beneath the surface.

Alfred Pennyworth

- I fear sometimes, dear boy, that if you don't give this up, you'll have nothing. You can't have darkness and light at the same time, Master Bruce..

- Everyone has a vulnerability

- Hnn. At least when Master Richard snuck out, he had the decency to construct a pillow dummy.

- Pirate Stories-why did I love them as a boy? Because at heart they're about children who rebel against their parents to create new lives for themselves. They're stories of defiance. But the trick is, when you look at them as a parent, you see, they're actually written as cautionary tales. The child comes home in the end, just before doom strikes the ship. But in this tale, Bruce, the one I've helped make for you, Batman...I worry it has gone on too long...that I've kept it going with you long past it's natural end. That's what I was screaming about when you were on the wrecked submarine. Not the ways you've failed me but the ways I may have failed you.

Kate Kane/Batwoman

- You coming? Or do I have to smash this bitch in the teeth all by myself?

- You think I'm afraid of you? Any of you? You gave me a bulletproof suit, you morons! What can you do to stop me?

- You will never get these years with her back, and a daughter needs her mom. I know I did. And I would've done anything to have more time with her. I can't be the reason for doing that to another kid. I can't

- So there is someone new in town ... Who the hell wears white?

Luke Fox/Batwing

- I really should lead with the knockout gas instead of conversation.

- You're leading me around through this nightmare like it's business as usual. Like I'm supposed to accept the supernatural. I accept it, okay? And now I'm going to kick its ass!

- This night sucks. And now I have no choice but to run and hide because "Mary Psycho Poppins" just handed me my ass.

Dick Grayson/Nightwing (including his time as robin)

- With you guys, it seems like I'm hot stuff … a know-it-all … but I've been back with The Batman again, and next to him I feel like I'm a stupid kid repeating fifth grade … for the third time.

- Try to understand our position here, Batman. You began training to be a hero as a young adult. For me and a lot of the other Titans -- like Vic -- that training shaped and influenced most of our childhood. Unlike the JLA, the Titans aren't just about a promise to the world -- it's also about a promise to each other … to ourselves. We swore on our childhood nightmares that we'd be there for one another. If I don't honor that I don't honor who I am.

- Sometimes I'm surprised I can even stand on a high ledge after what happened to the Flying Graysons. Boss Zucco could have sabatoged Haly's Circus any number of ways to drive down business and get his protection money. Instead he gave the crowd that night a show they'll never forget. I know I won't. When my mom and dad died, attendance actually went up.

- Okay Mom and Dad, your 'Flying Grayson' is about to take the great leap. Or as they say in French, Le Grand Saut. Down, down, and away. I'd say I wish you could see me now, but I know you're watching me - I can feel angels on my shoulders. And probably a bat too. You said some records aren't meant to be broken, Bruce. But more than anything, I wish you were down there right now watching with Alfred and Tim as I break this one.

- I had a good teacher, except for the interpersonal skills and the ability to work with others. That was me.

Barbara Gordon/Batgirl/Oracle

- A little over a year has passed since my old life ended, since I died and was reborn. The shadows remain, but only to give contrast to the light. I am no longer a distaff impersonation of someone else — I’m me, more me than I have ever been. I embrace it, and the light, with a deep, continuing joy.

- Gotham should be safe again. Well, until the next thing. There’s always another thing

- Wait for a hero? Barbara Joan Gordon -- Be your own damn hero

- I'll wake up, learn from my mistakes and ultimately win the fight. I always do.

Jason Todd (including his time as robin)

- I'll be damned if my best friend is going to die ... because he was dumb enough to trust me

- Someone tell me I'm not having a heart-to-heart with a reanimated assassin

- Trust? You...? I'll... give it a try, guys. But I'll tell you right now... I'm probably going to screw it up.

- I'm sorry, I'm never going to be the hero you want me to be. I have every confidence in you--that you'll stay the hero I know you are

Tim Drake/Red Robin (including his time as robin)

- The weight of the future... all of our futures... it just presses on me sometimes. And lately, it's been crushing, and I've been too afraid to ask for help. But I need to, Bruce. So this is me, asking for help.

- It’s not smart to blackmail the wrong people

- That’s what we are. Not just a team, but a family. One day we might be the Justice League, but for today we’re the Teen Titans.

- I had a plan. That plan just went to hell

Stephanie Brown/Spoiler (including her time as batgirl and robin)

- How come every time I try to do this different than Batman, I end up doing exactly what Batman would do?

- I am who I choose to be.

- I just watch two guys stealing TVs run into one another. Sadly, both televisions were lost... On the bright side, they'll each have a friend in jail.

- Here's the deal, I'm a 'punch first, ask questions later' kinda gal. Him? He's a stabber.

Cassandra Cain/Orphan (including her time as batgirl/black bat)

- I don't kill. But I don't lose, either.

- Gotham City. Gotham. City. That just... sounds right. Mailbox. Van. Razor. It's strange how naming... changes things. I've walked these streets... every inch of this city... but I never had the words. I never knew the names. Now... it's like it's all changed. All new. Or maybe... Maybe it's me that's changing.

- A special ability to predict my opponent's moves. That doesn't begin to describe it. Time... ran together. The future... blending... into the moment. A blink of an eye... the knife thrust that follows... both one. It was like... like I could predict my opponent's moves. Okay, that does describe it. But it doesn't do it justice.

Damian Wayne/Robin

- Father, I'm sure you'll be angry with me for disobeying you again but I don't care, I will not let you fight Leviathan alone. You need me and I will always be at your side. Because it will be hard for me to say these words face to face, I want you to know that Mother may have givenme life, but you taught me how to live. Love and respect your son Damian

- I don't want to end up like Ducard... without a moral compass... I don't want to turn into a NoBody... I want to be like you. I've always wanted to be like you.

- I'm sure you didn't leave your hole tonight thinking you'd get your ass kicked by a ten-year-old!

- I'm not the one in a ship filled with alien freaks, so how about shutting up and letting me work on keeping you safe, father!

Duke Thomas/Signal

- Someone told me that the problem with youth is the inability to accept your own mortality. I wouldn't consider this one of my problems

- Sometimes you're wrong. Sometimes there is a place for you at the table. Some mysteries may never be solved by you alone. Sometimes you don't have to prove yourself repeatedly -- because you're confident about your purpose. And sometimes you just have to get to work for everything to work out.

- not to mention you tire stealing genius, i’m not robin!

- My career of choice has crazy hours, bad benefits, and doesn't pay. But it's the dream I never knew I always had. Mom, dad... I'm going into the vigilante business. I hope I live to tell you all about it.

Harper Row/Blue bird

- I want training. Proper training. Tim's great at the tech stuff, but so am I. I want to know how to karate chop someone in the neck so their eyeballs pop out. I want to know the cool stuff.

- Sometimes all it takes is a few words to change your life. For me it took seven. Seven words, spoken in the dark.

- And you thought "Oh, Hey, I'm going to just talk to the scariest-looking bastard in the Narrows and see what he thinks"?

- I never had a choice - but only because this is what I want, more than anything. And I was going to do this. I've told you that, again and again

Jean-Paul Valley/Azreael

- You aren't asking if I'm okay, Lucas. You are asking if I can fight. I am angrier than I have ever been in my life, and I am sharing my mind with one murderous AI, and another one modeled off the world's most dangerous vigilante. Yes Lucas. I am ready to fight

- Nomoz...he’s the one who came for me...he’s the one who broke me. For the greater glory of God

Feel free to add onto this list. I would love to know everyone’s favorite quotes.

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 5 years

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DMODT 46 FULL DRAFT - END OF ARC THREE

Luca was a ball of energy, and so very curious. He was a salve on Eren's aching soul, easing the worries the omega was suffering from when it came to Levi. Barely two days old, the little dragon was happy to make his wishes known. Whether it be milk, or to be put back up on the bed with them, each time he'd trill "Lu" until either Levi or Eren picked him up. Eren was completely smitten. Like any new born, there'd been accidents, which led to trial and error over creating a nappy for Luca to wear given they couldn't take the dragon outside their room yet. He loved bath time, though the first time his feet had touched the water, he'd reared up and tried to flap his wings like he thought intimidating it would do something. Levi had laughed at their adopted son so hard that Eren hadn't known what to say or do. It's felt like decades since he'd heard the man laugh. The alpha was clearly just as smitten, even with his lack of emotions... and Eren was maybe just a bit more than a little jealous. All he'd been getting from Levi was violent dreams, smacked in the face more than once as the alpha cursed whoever was plaguing him. By morning, his magic would have healed him back up, and he could face the day like nothing happened thanks to Luca's love.

Staying at the inn was nice. The bed was comfortable, the food and drink were poison free, yet the omega was starting to go crazy as they waited to hear from Erwin, or with fear when Levi would seemingly blank out for a moment or two while doing something trivial like folding clothes, or buttering bread. Still, Eren held his tongue better than he'd thought he could. Each time he looked to Luca, he'd take a breath and push a smile to his face. He still loves Levi, and knew Levi wouldn't hurt him if he was conscious. That was the main thing, he'd also never hurt Luca, which also told Eren that he Levi didn't mean his actions. With time on their hands, they'd consulted the map Levi had purchased. It showed they were in what was called "Europe", a land mass Marley had once attempted to conquer before they'd been driven out. The country was land locked, and it'd take flying over two other countries to get back home. It was kind of disappointing to know the channel outside their window didn't connect to the ocean, but that soon passed. The view reminding him that he needed to be strong like the bricks that held up this city. He wanted this kind of peace for Eldia, so he needed tried to commit everything he could to memory each time he looked outside.

It was roughly a 5 days into their stay that Levi finally received word from Erwin. They'd been woken by a constant tapping against the glass of the doors, to find a royal eagle waiting to be let in. The moment the eagle swept into the room, Luca wanted to be friends. Wiggling his butt, he'd taken off. Launching himself at the eagle, and landing on the floor with a confused coo. If the eagle could talk, Eren was sure that it'd be laughing it's arse off at Luca's lack of stealthy. Taking the message from the canister attached to the birds leg, Levi wasted no time reading it, leaving Eren nervous as he tried to imagine what Erwin could have written. Penning his own letter back on the back of Erwin's, the whole delivery and reply took all of 10 minutes, before the alpha was making himself a cup of tea. Eren tried so hard not to break the silence, but he just couldn't help himself

"What did he say?"

"Zeke wants us home"

No shit. He knew that much

"The royal advisors said to wait another two weeks before returning. They're going to send a ship to collect us just east of Marley's borders, then announce that we were travelling to celebrate our engagement, and that there was a delay in our return"

"Seriously?! They don't want us back right away?"

"They do. It's just become a little difficult"

"But... by the time we get back, it's going to be like... 6 weeks since we found out. Isn't that too long?"

"I don't know. Erwin says Zeke won't listen. The royal advisors aren't listening to Erwin, despite him being the prince and then there's been whispers that some of the Marley guests within the castle walls are planning something. They're probably trying to accumulate information we get home. In other words, they know their plotting something big, and need time to take care of the traitors in their midst before it's safe for us to set foot in there"

Or they were planning to kill Erwin off... they only really needed Levi. Levi was the public prince... with Erwin gone, Levi lost his right hand man... He could easily be dead by the time they got back, and as impossible as the alpha was, he was Levi's friend. He didn't want the man to die

"Levi. We have to go back"

"Eren..."

"Please. I hate this. If Erwin dies before we get back, the blood of the royal family dies along with him"

There was Armin... but he didn't know if Obsydin knew about that secret, so he sure as hell wasn't about to blurt it out and put his friend in danger

"I know. I knew you'd want to head back, so I told Erwin we'll be leaving tonight. Not flying, mind you. We'll set out by horseback until we get to Marley. Once we've reached the border, we'll keep just inside of it until we reach the rendezvous point"

That plan sucked

"Won't they recognise you?"

"I've only ever been to the Capital of Marley once, and that was to sign the stupid peace treaty. At least along the border, we shouldn't run into anyone who'd recognise us"

"But if war's coming, wouldn't they close the borders?"

"Marley is preparing to take the war to Paradis Island. They're so confident they'll defeat us, the bulk of their armed forces are waiting for deployment at their port"

Eren frowned, then hissed as Luca nipped his fingers wanting his next feed

"I don't like this"

"Neither do I"

"I feel like... like Zeke is giving us too much time to return. If he really wanted you dead, he wouldn't wait for two months after the initial incident. He could have taken the castle by now"

"Erwin's worried about that too. He thinks that there may be a spy within the ranks of advisors, which wouldn't surprise me at me this stage. Ultimately the decision is mine to make. For now, we'll make for Marley"

It was better than nothing... he'd have to swallow down his dislike of horses. Ugh. The demon beasts, they were.

"Ok... Did he say if Draecia was contacted?"

"No. I am assuming they would have been, but no official royal correspondence had been sent. I should say, he didn't mention reaching out to them recently. I know you've got Luca to think of, but you need to be careful. You're my fiancé. If they do recognise me, they'll be after you too"

Eren's tongue betrayed him before he could stop himself

"Am I? I don't have my ring anymore..."

"I've got it. I didn't know how to return it"

He wasn't expecting that at all

"You kept it?"

"Why wouldn't I keep it? I meant what I said. I want to be with you for as long as it's safe for me to be with you. I won't tolerate this "me" that's been hurting you"

"Levi..."

"I'm still just as serious about you leaving if it gets too much"

"You know I won't do that"

This fight was falling back into it's usual loop, that would only end up with them both in a stiff and awkward silence because Eren wouldn't agree, and Levi wouldn't take no for an answer. He needed to stop it before that happened

"Stubborn brat"

"Yeah. I am. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to stay by your side"

Levi simply sighed at him

"You're stubborn about all the wrong things. Stupidly faithful, and unfairly beautiful. I still don't know what you're doing with me"

What was he supposed to say to that? Again... Levi wasn't making this easy. Playful. If he went playful, the alpha should take the out... even if meant delaying their departure by an hour or three

"We all have our kinks. Anyway, we should make a move. I can't wait to get back and introduce them all to Luca"

"And who knows, maybe we'll actually make some pretty decent memories on this trip?"

"You mean you laughing each time I fall off the horse?"

Two could play this game, Levi arching an eyebrow as he shrugged

"There that. Just make sure you don't hurt Luca with all the dirt kissing you're about to do"

"Dream on, old man. I'll have you know I made it to the port by horse back, alone"

"And I'll have you know riding for two weeks is going to silence that pretty little mouth of yours"

"I can think of other ways to silence it"

"Really?"

"I can think of better ways for you to be using your mouth, too. But alas, we need to pack"

"Pack, my arse. You're not getting away that easily"

Travelling was going much smoother than Levi had expected. After "borrowing" two horses, they'd mounted up. Eren so far yet to make the acquaintance of the ground, despite not paying one ounce of attention to where they were going. With his cloak hood up, Luca had settled around his neck, mostly hidden away as he peaked over Eren's shoulder, trilling "Lu" each time something caught his attention. Levi wasn't jealous at all... Much... He was, but it Luca made it hard to be mad at him for taking all of Eren's attention. He hadn't really thought the logistics through of "adopting" a baby dragon, nor had he expected it to bring out such a strong paternal feeling from inside of him. Watching his two dragons together, it was a bitter sweet pill as he wished that Luca wasn't possibly the only child they'd ever have. The baby dragon adored Eren, though he also seemed fond of Levi too. If Levi was to go to the bathroom without him, Luca would cry at door for him until he turned. If the baby dragon wasn't curled up between them at night, he'd cry. Though he didn't stay between them. He'd learned that blankets wiggled and if he attacked what was wiggling, he'd be picked up and showered with pats and scratched. If they dared eat something in front of him without sharing, he made it known as he attempted to, less than stealthily, join in. Unlike most baby animals, Luca was ready for the world the moment he came out, and so far he'd proven himself to be a mini-Eren. From the butt-wiggle like a kitten before pouncing, to sprawling out on his back and snoring at his slept. His wing really didn't seem to put a dent in his happiness, nor did it stop him from trying to fly.

Watching Eren whispering to Luca, Levi nudged his horse closer. Feeling slightly put out over the fact he wasn't involved in their "conversation". It wasn't like Luca could talk back, but Eren assured him that as the dragon grew, he'd slowly learn. For now, Luca simply liked hearing their voices

"What are you whispering about?"

"About how long it would take for you to come over. I think he misses you. He won't sit still"

Pulling down his hood, Luca scrambled to hold onto Eren as his excited looked to Levi. The dragon's sharp little claws digging in, was the only thing stopping the baby dragon from falling off the horse with excitement

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"A little. But he doesn't mean it. Are you going to take him?"

"Yeah. Pass him over"

Eren gathered Luca up, carefully passing him over, where Levi took him by the scruff of the neck to sit him down on the rise of the saddle. Closing his eyes, Luca shook his head as if the wind was blowing through his non-existent hair. It didn't matter that the horses were only walking, the baby dragon was... a dopey idiot

"He looks happy"

"He's never not happy. How about you? Are you holding up alright?"

"My arse is numb"

"That happens. It's supposed to be a full day to the next town"

"I know. I was there when you decided where we were going last night. And I was there when you decided we needed to leave early"

There was no real bite in Eren's voice, yet something rubbed him the wrong way

"You said you were fine with riding"

"I am fine with it"

"You just complained about your arse"

"I wasn't complaining. I was just saying my bum is numb. How about you? Everything ok over there?"

With Luca "basking" in the wind, Levi shrugged

"As long as this one behaves himself, it's fine"

"Oh... ok... if he gets too much, I'll take him back"

Somehow he'd hurt Eren's feelings, the omega slumping in his saddle as his fiddled with his reins. He didn't know what he'd done, yet, he'd done it

"He's fine..."

Levi grasped for something he could turn into a conversation

"... what are you looking forward to in the next town?"

Eren perked back up with a hum that seemed a little fake. If he didn't want to talk, he should just say so

"Other than a proper bed, maybe the markets? Can we take a look this time?"

They hadn't taken a look at the rows of markets in the city due to the fact they'd creatively liberated the horses. Well, Levi had liberated the horses while Eren waited for him, smoothly assuring the omega it was fine. The stables he'd taken the horses from left much to be desired. They were probably happier this way, then being with owners that probably didn't give two shits about their condition

"That should be fine. We've still got some coins left, though we can't afford to be too frivolous"

"I just wanted to get Luca something warmer to sleep in. He's so tiny I get worried he's going to get sick"

"Like you?"

Eren nodded, a hand going to his chest

"I know it might be stupid, but when I look at him, I get so worried for his future"

"He'll be fine. He's got you to protect him"

"I can't protect him from everything... or everyone"

Maybe not. But once Eren was home, he'd have the protection of Erwin, Armin, Hanji and Mikasa. If worst came to worst, he had very little doubt that the 5 of them together could figure something out

"He's going to be fine. He's already just like you, and you're fine"

"He's not just like me"

"Eren, you two even sleep in the same position"

"I... it's a dragon thing"

Huffing his protest, Eren pouted at him

"I didn't say it was a bad thing. I've already told you you're a natural. You make a great mum to him. The only danger he's in is being spoilt to death"

Patting Luca's head, the dragon trilled at him with a smug look. The little dragon already knew he had them both wrapped around his little claw.

Travelling probably shouldn't have been as fun as it'd turned into. The closer they grew to Marley, the more little things set Levi off, but as long as Eren didn't push when his alpha's mood suddenly shifted, he could deal with it. Over the last week, they'd seen so many amazing things. Spices, herbs and food he'd never known existed. People and cultures with shrines and carvings so intricate he could have stared at them for hours. Even horse riding was no longer just sitting on the back of a demon beast. He could trot now, but cantering felt like he was flying. Luca would sit up on his shoulders and bask in the feeling of the wind. Best of all these new experiences was that Levi was by his side for it all. His alpha having moments when he was so affectionate that everything else just faded from his mind. Like the time he'd nearly got lost at the market when he'd stopped to look at a new type of fabric he'd never seen before. The vendor was talking away to him, and before he knew it, he'd been swept into his store and shown the most amazing silk robes. The man didn't even care that his hair and face were covered by a scarf of sorts, as that was what everyone else wore in the sandy country. When Levi had found him, the alpha laughed at the pink fabric the man was trying to force upon him. Pink was definitely not his colour, neither was the bright pink of the semi-transparent fabric. Wanting to prove to Levi that he could totally pull off dainty and delicate, Eren had twirled around with two lengths of fabric in his hands, which ended up with them both evicted over his shenanigans. In his side back, Luca had looked up at him like he was judging him just as silently as the vendor had. He'd even tried riding something called a camel for the first time. A kind of creature he'd never seen before, and wasn't sure he ever wanted to see again, but they'd had to "sell" their horses at the border to the sandy country as horses couldn't make it across the desert dunes. Of course, they didn't really sell them. It kind of worked on exchange where you left your horses on side, and were presented with a token you could chip in once you'd safely made it across the desert and to the port city that was at the end of the trail. On the first night of the trip they'd had a private tent, where Levi had been too busy laying claiming his body, he didn't have to worry about anyone else trying to make a move on him. They'd been so loud, the members of the group had teased them. Eren didn't mind, and when their tent slowly filled with fellow travellers he didn't mind either. He might not be able to speak their language, and the journey might have taken up a week and half, completely blowing Levi's two week plan out the water, but he felt so incredibly alive. Sometimes hours would pass without him thinking of home, then all at once it'd hit him, and he'd fall into a flunk over what was waiting in Eldia. Whenever Levi caught him in one of his moods, the alpha always pulled him close and told him it'd all be ok.

After an amazing first week, and an interesting second week, the third progressively grew worse. They were delayed for two days due to a freak storm that had taken everyone else by surprise, so by the time they crossed into Marley, Levi was short tempered and constantly snapping. The alpha nursing a headache he refused any help for, and was back to walking in his sleep again. If he asked, Levi would snap, apologise, then fall silent. Next came the physical abuse. Like back at the hotel in Hannes's country, the first time Levi slapped him, he didn't know what happened. The second time, Levi broke his arm when Eren woke him while sleepwalking. Following Levi, he'd waited until his arm had healed before attempting to wake him, then slightly bent the truth by pretending he'd never been hurt in the first place. While he could deal with it, Luca couldn't. Luca had started to shy away from Levi at night, hiding under the bed and tucking his tail between his legs when the man tried to get close. He could see the pain on Levi's face. The confusion followed by the defeat. Eren's omega knew Levi wasn't to blame. Marley wasn't exactly Obsydin's, Levi's, or Eren's favourite place to be. For all Zeke's talk, poverty ran rampant in the border towns. To Eren, Marley had been the enemy... but to see its people suffering, it really drove home that Eldia wasn't the only one under the shackles of war. Where he could, and where he wasn't noticed, he'd use the seeds of all the new herbs and such he'd purchased to grow trees for farmers, or to give the sad crops a little boost. Levi didn't like it. He claimed Eren was being too obvious. But if a farmer already had an orchard, how was he to notice a few more trees? He just wanted to help people. Was that really so wrong? They hadn't asked to be swept up in this stupid war. Just like Levi hadn't asked to start losing more and more of himself, while Obsydin only continued to grow in his mind.

Telling himself that they'd soon be home, Eren wasn't sure if he believed it anymore. He was tired. So fucking tired that he was sleep riding. Out of nowhere his lungs had started giving him trouble again, to which Levi had responded to by telling him "to stop that ridiculous noise". The alpha, once again apologising for his actions, only to spill half a bowl of boiling water across his lap when his grown so bad Eren needed a dose of steam. Levi's eyes had been blank as he carried the bowl across their small camp, pouring it across him before coming to when screamed at the unexpected pain. Luca had come running from the tent, launching himself into Eren's lap and growling at Levi. The baby dragon not realising his claws went straight through Eren's clothes, and tore into the tender flesh. Reassuring Luca it was just an accident between pained coughs, Levi was skeptical until Eren assured him too that he was fine, and that it really was an accident, while trying to dislodge Luca's claws. At least when Luca rode on his shoulder, the scales across his back offered some protection, not like the bare and soft skin of his thighs. He hated seeing both Luca and Levi upset. His happy family had started falling apart at the seems, as his omega began to grieve the loss, despite the fact his two loves were right there near him.

Levi changed further after that night. Each time they touched, he apologised. Each time they had sex, it felt like they were two gears not aligning properly. Each time he sought Levi for comfort, Levi was quick to tense. In his heart he knew what was coming, but his mind was a different story as it foolishly hung onto the belief that they'd always be together.

Since crossing the border into Marley, a sick kind of anger had wormed its way into Levi's mind. In his dreams he was searching for something, for someone, only for the dreams to end with the death of a red dragon so large it blocked the sun. He didn't know what it was supposed to mean. He didn't know how to interpret or "read" dreams, he just knew each time he woke, he felt a longing in his chest that wasn't for his lover.

As they travelled, it became harder to focus on Eren. The alpha found his mind constantly at war with itself. They were in Marley territory. It would be nothing to ride into the capital and cause hell. He could kill Zeke before the man had a chance to destroy Marley. He could kill the whole royal family and not blink an eye at the fall out. He felt no sympathy at all for the citizens of Marley, nor the struggling people Eren was obsessed with helping. If they died, it simply meant there was one person who was less likely to take up a sword against Eldia, so, by Eren helping them, the omega was effectively aiding in the war efforts against their own country. Once the thought had burrowed it's way in, it seemed to infect every fibre of his being. The love and desire he felt for Eren, began to dim and flicker, yet, he knew he loved Eren with everything he had. It was Obsydin's madness that was tearing his lover from his mind, Hannes had said he'd go crazy trying to house two seperate consciousnesses in his mind, and crossing Marley's border had been the final nail in the coffin.

For days he hid his pain the best he could. There'd been more and more incidents where he found himself in places he had no memory of being in, or he found Eren guiding him back to their camp, wreaking of pain, yet wearing a fake smile as if nothing was happening. The incident with the boiling water had happened before he'd known what was going on, Eren's screams echoing in his head. He'd reached his limit. He needed to leave now, or risk killing Eren. Just how many times had he hurt him? What had he done to him? Pouring boiling water across his lap, striking him, snapping at him. All of this was unforgivable in his eyes, but with the way Luca had become so weary of him, he was sure he'd done more, and for that, the last sliver of his human could never forgive him.

Reaching the shore he'd agreed upon with Erwin, Levi found himself wavering over leaving. Just across the sea, Eldia was waiting for them. The sea that Eren and Luca had been so happy to play in once they'd reached the beach. He didn't know who was the first to reach the waves, only that Luca was barrelled up in the swell, when he reemerged, the first thing he tried to do was attack it. Eren didn't even bother changing as he ran into the water wearing his boots, whooping the whole time he was running, before belly flopping into the water. Their happiness was so genuine, that Levi realised he could no longer relate at all. He might have laughed, he was sure he had. Yet he couldn't remember just how someone laughed. Even thinking of the market where Eren had been thrown out the fabric store failed to bring any kind of fondness or warmth, and he knew for a fact he'd found it funny at the time. For all his gracefulness, Eren had looked like a shitty idiot as he'd spun circles and waved the pink fabric around in something that resembled "dancing". Nodding to himself, it was decided. He'd give Luca and Eren one last good day. He'd swallow down everything he could, and tell them both he loved them. He'd play in the water, or build sand castles on the beach. No matter how much he hated it. No matter how irritated he got. Today was Eren and Luca's day.

So that's what he did. Letting the two dragons play, Eren shifted into his dragon form and let Luca climb all over him. It was a stupid idea, anyone could have seen them, yet he didn't say a word as he set up camp. He also didn't say anything when Eren shifted back, and returned a panting mess with a sleepy Luca in his arms. When the sun was at highest point, they ate lunch. Eren lazing around naked, having stripped off his wet clothes after playing. When Luca went down for a nap, the omega climbed into his lap, so Levi showered him with attention, desperately trying to brand every inch of Eren into his mind, and not show his annoyance over helping the omega who helped the enemy. He loved him. He loved him so fucking much, that he still couldn't understand how everything had gone so wrong.

After sex they'd cuddled until the temperature began to cool, Eren clinging to him tightly, as if he knew he was going to wake up alone the following morning. Whispering words of love, it washed on Levi like water running down the drain. Hated this. Normally his brain would shut up after he'd knotted Eren, yet everything in his head was only getting louder. He didn't hear his lover asking if he wanted to join him swimming. He didn't realise how focused on the voices in his head were until he found himself staring into Eren's worried green eyes. How one person could love him the way the omega did, defied human logic. Blindly agreeing to whatever Eren was asking, was how he ended up swimming with the omega until Luca woke. The baby dragon coming bounding down to the waters edge, before plunging in and swimming right up to them. Eren was full of praise for their adopted child, scooping him up, and holding up so Levi could scratch between the two nubs that would form his horns as he aged. Both of them were far too pure for this world... and far too pure for the twisted creature he'd become.

After swimming came showering, which soon turned to dinner. Eren and Luca were exhausted. Luca falling asleep in his bowl of milk, while Eren climbed into Levi's arms and mumble words of thanks. Making him waver yet again. In Eldia there could be a cure. It'd been months since they'd left now... yet he knew he was just being stupid by the way the thought of a cure angered him. He didn't know what came next for him, but Eldia wasn't it. As they prepared for bed, Levi laid Eren out under the night sky, bringing forth soft and breathy moans from the omega as he pleasured him to the point of purring. Blissed out and more asleep than awake, he held Eren close to whisper in his ear

"I release you of my commands upon you. I release you of your vow and oath to Eldia. Instead I give you this new command, find a way to be happy, and know that I truly loved you. I command you not to spill our secrets, though I say this knowing you wouldn't anyway. You were kind, and soft, and pure. I leave you this way. Find another alpha. Have a family. Be happy for both of us, and for our son"

Levi stayed until Eren had fallen asleep deeply enough not to notice him slipping out of his hold. Dressing quickly, he moved Luca to Eren's side. Eren would be heartbroken come morning. He was going to need Luca to fill that hole of betrayal he was leaving on the omega's heart. Not that he understood it anymore. Next he sorted their bags out. The cursed sword that had started it all, hadn't survived the journey all that well. It's scales "crunching" as Levi handled it. He'd intended to just wear it upon his hip, but that was no longer an option, so he merely wrapped it back up and packed into the bag he was taking. He also took the remaining coins they had, as well as half the food and his own clothes from Eldia. He could always sell the silver off his jacket if he needed money, and by taking the coins, he stopped Eren from being able to buy or rent a horse to follow him with. When he was done, he spared a glance back to Luca and Eren, his family... a little voice in the back of his mind told him he was doing the right thing, even though he knew how mad Eren would be. All he could do was shake his head, as he gathered up the reins for both horses and started leading them away from the shore line.

From here on out, they'd walk seperate paths, with the possibility of never meeting again.

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wg420b-blog · 6 years

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The Last Jedi

The problem with "The Last Jedi" is not that it is a bad Star Wars movie; it is that it is a Star Wars at all. "The Last Jedi" is a good Star Wars movie, which is to say it is a primer for adolescents on a range of topics relevant to one's formative years. But to the extent that the older Star Wars movies have succeeded in helping people who were adolescents in the 80s and 90s grow into adults– to the extent, that is, they have been good Star Wars movies– they have also pushed those viewers out of the nest. Now must fight them off as they try to crawl back in to have that experience again with "The Last Jedi".

If we look at what remains admirable about episodes 4-6, this description of Star Wars holds: they are good movies for young people to watch. Here are some of the things a child can learn from a good Star Wars:

Basic cinematographic literacy– how different visual transitions like wipes demarcate when scenes are happening in different locations, thus allowing for subplots.

Basic film genre literacy– Lucas famously borrowed from established genres like samurai movies, Westerns, World War fighter pilots, and more.

Basic heroic literacy– Lucas also famously used Joseph Campbell's "hero with a thousand faces," introducing viewers to what a generic heroic journey looks like.

Basic ethics– it is admirable to sacrifice oneself for the benefit of others, it is bad to treat others as a means to an end.

Basic politics– empires are bad, rebellions are good.

Basic religious patterns– the force, an energy that connects all beings, is the most generic form of the mystical aspect of more or less every world religion.

"The Last Jedi" provides even better examples of some of the things a young person should learn and can get out of this movie:

Basic literary irony– when Rylo Ken "turns the light saber to kill his greatest enemy" and it turns out to be the light saber next to Snoke instead of the one pointed at Rey, this is a level of irony that should not impress a grown up but could be pretty cool to a ten year old. If Shakespeare can get away with "no man of woman born" to mean "she had a C-section" in MacBeth, then we can acknowledge this as an acceptable level of irony for a reader ideal who has not yet been assigned Gatsby.

Basic sound design literacy– When Finn is piloting into the battering ram cannon and the sound begins to fade instead of growing louder, the battle is not actually getting quieter. Rather, the situation is causing his perceptual apparatus to fail, as signified in the apparent breakdown of the film’s sound apparatus.

Basic literary reflexivity– in "The Last Jedi," Luke and Rey talk about how "Luke Skywalker" has become a legend, and how that might or might not be good for the universe. The movie closes with child slaves telling the story of Luke Skywalker to each other and rekindling the desire for rebellion from the legend of Luke Skywalker. But if one thinks about it, the story of Luke Skywalker is also "The Last Jedi" itself...pretty cool if you have never thought that a story could also be about itself as story.

Finally, to those very Star Wars-y virtues the recent films have added one more:

Basic recognition of others– that people who are not white men are also significant.

Accomplishing a general pedagogical function around narrative, cinema, and ethics, with light sabers and space ships, gives the feeling of a Star Wars worthy of the name. But what a Star Wars should be for a child and what it should be for an adult are very different things. An adult in awe of Star Wars would seemingly be equally impressed by someone who knew their multiplication tables or all the state capitals.

It seems self-evident that the the way an adult enjoys Star Wars should be different from the way a child does. And yet, because often the same person has come to it first as a child and then as an adult, they mistake the constancy of what makes a good Star Wars for a virtue they should emulate– that because the essence of Star Wars has not changed from when they first knew it, neither should they.

This practice– of making nostalgia the organizing principle of one's life– is, of course, the greatest failing a human can have in the project of being a person. What is omitted from the valuable pedagogical work that Star Wars can do, and what a child should not be expected to know but must be required of an adult, is history. Growing up means learning about things that happened, both directly to you ("experience") or indirectly ("history"), and making sense of what the hell is going on so that you can be effective in accomplishing the aforementioned basic moral duties to others. Star Wars is a fable; it has no bearing on real history. It tells you empires are bad, and that's true, but not what real empires have shaped our world or exist today. Nostalgia for Star Wars in an adult is a twofold moral failing: it displaces that historical information with the history of a made up world, and it installs the mechanism of nostalgia that returns the subject to a point in the past rather than pushing them forward through history.

All around us we can see the pollution of people who live in this world of dead echoes, people who are not borne back into the past by history's meaning but who choose to be fixated on it precisely to escape history's force. The legal doctrine of originalism, the mythologies of the ethnostate, the call for a time when political enemies treated each other with civility, the Hogwart's left, and finally the cult of Star Wars itself, all of this fundamentally nostalgic garbage that retards human life individually and collectively now surrounds us and has nothing in common with what actually makes "The Last Jedi" good. As a part of a business, the business of "Star Wars," as something that exists in history and is the product of capital, there is a more complicated story to tell about it, but there is a place for "The Last Jedi" that is good– in the hands of children.

(And again, one could even say that the need for forgetting and the basic mechanics of doing so are part of the Luke subplot when Yoda burns the Jedi books. It does not require an especially sophisticated reading to draw this out.)

Watching Star Wars as an adult should be an enviable position. You don't have to ask much of it. You don't need Star Wars to fill your teen loneliness with a community, a moral code, or a mythology. You can just enjoy it in the same way one enjoys a a Neil Young song. The melody is good and the lyrics are stupid, and you can nod along without making it your gospel. Being an adult means carrying the knowledge that comes out of that adolescent education– that you can understand the world and help other people, and there is work to do. If Star Wars ever meant anything to you, leave it in the past and move on.

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geniuscloud · 6 years

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NCT Dream Reaction - Crying In Front of Them

@selca-ships “Hey could you make a nct imagine of them reacting to you crying in front of them? Thanks! ❤️” *Later requested NCT Dream*

This is my first time ever making a reactions post, so sorry if it sucks!

I apologize for spelling mistakes, I ain’t got time to edit. Also if I edit my post the gifs go away so :-/

((ALSO IF I MESSED UP THE GIFS FOR THE MEMBERS I APOLOGIZE. MY GIFS AREN’T WORKING SO IT’S ALL BLANK, I’M CLICKING ON A RANDOM GIF RN.))

Mark

You had just gotten off of Skype with your parents, your boyfriend Mark was by your side. The one thing you had wanted was for him to meet your parents, and get their approval. More or less to show off what a wonderful guy you had met. You moved to Korea on a whim, without your parents, hoping to work for a large entertainment company after becoming obsessed with the way the entertainment industry worked in Korea; even if that meant just being a staff member.

“Your parents are so nice” Mark smiled, tucking the laptop to the side before returning to face you. His eyes were instantly met with your glossy ones, tears starting to spill from it’s ducts. Without saying a word, his smile faded, and he planted a kiss on the top of your head before pulling you into his side with a big hug. This was the first time he’d ever seen you truly cry, and it was unfortunately a feeling he knew all too well. Being a foreigner, all alone, and not even having the safety of friends or family around. He knew how lonely you must be feeling without your family.

“It’s okay baby, i’m here when you need me. Cry all you need to, i’m not leaving…”

_________________

Renjun

You were sitting on the floor of his dorm room, as he attempted to clean up a little. Sharing a room with a bunch of guys often meant it was messy, and usually you’d offer to help. Though after the 3rd time of you ending up cleaning up for him, and decided to just sit on his bed and read. It was probably your favourite book, but the ending always made you tear up a little because you got attached to the male lead character.

“Oh my gosh, this plate must have been here since our debut! It’s moldy and stinks. No wonder why we couldn’t find out where that smell was coming from…” Renjun exclaimed, holding a plate with what may have once been food, from under one of the other members bed. He looked over to you, to see you in tears. The book face down on his bed.

“Is the smell REALLY that bad that you’re crying?”

“No you dork, my favourite character just died…” you sniffled, whipping your tears away.

“Aw, i’m sorry. Will a cuddle help?” he asked, walking towards you.

“Once you throw that nasty thing away, and sanitize your hands,” you giggled through a couple more tears.

“As you wish…”

___________

Jeno

Movie nights with Jeno were one of your favourite things. The two of you cuddled up together with popcorn and a package of chocolate chips which were also sprinkled around the bowl. It was his turn to pick the movie, but he suggested you picked it together in celebration of your 6 months anniversary. You settled on a film called ‘The Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas’ which neither of you have watched. The reviews were really good, it seemed interesting with the theme being around the war.

Little did you know, it was the most heartbreaking movie you’ve seen in a very long time. Most of the movie you were trying to hold back tears; but halfway through the movie, you tucked your face into his shirt and small sniffling started to escape your mouth.

“Are you okay?” he asked, patting the top of your head.

“No…” you whispered, gripping his shirt a little; your face still buried in his chest.

“You’re so cute when you’re cuddled like this, but don’t be sad. It hurts my heart for you to cry like this.”

______________

Haechan

“Can I see your hair?” Haechan asked as you pulled the hoodie tighter to your head.

“No! I look awful! It’s so short and my mom did such a bad job!”

“There is no way it could be that bad, just take off the hood.”

“Please don’t make fun of me…” you whispered, removing the hood. Your hair which once touched the middle of your back, now sat just above your shoulders, “I look like Dora the Explorer.”

“I thought you said it was bad?” Haechan wiped a tear from your eyes as you stared at the ground.

“I hate my stupid brother! I can’t believe he got my hair sucked up in the blowdryer!”

“It’s okay, I think this length looks cute on you. I like short hair anyways. If you want though… I’ll go with you to the hair salon so you can get it styled in a way you like. There is no need to cry angel.”

_____________

Jaemin

(Y’all he looks so good in this gif)

“I’m really glad no one recognized us yet” Jaemin exclaimed as you two walked around the theme park. “I’m so glad we could go on a date in public without being harassed. I really want to ride the ferris wheel with you. I know heights aren’t really fun, but I think it would be romantic for us to be together.”

“U-uh yeah…” you smiled nervously. You were terrified of heights, but since Jaemin seemed to want to go on, you tried to hide your fears. He pulled you into the line and held your hand tight. The wait felt like forever, as people were loaded into the cars one by one. Each group that got loaded in, meant you were closer to getting on and being lifted over 50 feet in the air. Only two more groups stood from you and the front. You gripped his hand tighter as tears started to escape from your tear ducts.

“H-hey what’s wrong?” he asked looking at you with concern.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t do this. I’m too scared!” you cried.

“It’s okay, you should have just told me! We can go on something else if you’d like. Is the tea cups okay? We can go on that if you prefer?”

____________

Chenle

Ever since you moved to Korea a few years ago, your birthdays were often uneventful. Most of your friends still lived in your hometown, which meant “celebrating with friends” was just a 4 hour Skype conversation. Even though you had your first actual boyfriend, you expected that this year would be no exception. Chenle told you he had a schedule all day, and unfortunately would have to take you out another day.

“Hey y/n! Happy Birthday!” your best friend cheered into the phone.

“Ah thank you! I wish I could see your face. I miss you so much!”

“I’m sorry, we’ll have to Skype later tonight. I’m out for a bit, but once I get home we can Skype.”

“This is good enough for now. I’m just so glad to hear a friendly voice. I never realized how lonely it can be when you have to celebrate your birthday alone,” you whined as you flopped onto your bed.

“Cheer up! You have Chenle now!”

“Yeah I know, and I really wish he was here right now. He said he’s busy, so we’re going on a date another day to makeup for it.” That is when you heard a knock on your door. You rolled off your bed and went to answer the door, still not hanging up with your friend.

“He’s a good boyfriend though, from what you’ve told me.”

“I know, he’s fantastic… give me one second, someone is at the door” you sighed. You pulled open the door to see two familiar faces…

“Happy Birthday y/n!” Chenle cheered, pushing your best friend in front of him.

“OH MY GOD! YOU’RE HERE!? YOU’RE IN KOREA! DID CHENLE GET YOU HERE?!” You screamed, hugging your best friend. She nodded vigorously. You were crying so much as you clung onto your friend, holding them tighter than ever before. You had to pry yourself from your friend before attaching yourself to Chenle. Tears streamed down your face even harder as he tried to wipe some of them away with his thumb.

“Thank you Chenle so much, this is the best present ever! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!”

“Anything for you… I know how lonely you were without your friends, so I thought i’d help bring one of them to you to make you happy.”

____________

Jisung

You were hunched over your desk with dozens of papers scattered everywhere, and your text book wide open. You had so many final exams coming up, and were up to your eyeballs in homework. On top of that, you had vocal and dance classes to attend, since you were still a trainee. Things were just starting to get too much, too quickly, and you didn’t know how to cope with the stress.

“Hey y/n, are you ready for our anniversary date?” Jisung asked, sneaking up behind you.

“That was today?!” you gasped, turning your head to face him.

“Yeah, did you forget?”

“I’m so so so sorry! I’ve been so busy, and I need to study, and I just have so much to do! It just escaped my mind, because of all of my things are due so quickly and I just can’t handle it!”

“If tonight it’s good, we can just reschedule I guess…”

“Please don’t be disappointed! I’m so sorry, I just-I can’t handle this anymore! I’m so stressed out, and I don’t know what to do!” you cried. Jisung was shocked to see you cry, but saw how hurt you were, and gave you a big hug.

“Don’t cry sweetie, i’ll order some food for us while you study, and maybe I can help you out? Then when you’re done, I’ll give you all the hugs you need.”

_______________

(BONUS) Lucas

He wants to be in NCT Dream, so why the hell not.

(He’s so hot, i’m gonna bust a nut. I love those glasses on him. He’s not even my bias)

It was his first stage debut with NCT U; performing BOSS live on TV. You knew how hard he had been working, and how long he had been waiting for this day. You couldn’t help but be so proud of him, as he prepared for the stage. You stood off to the side, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and cheered for him, before he walked into the stage.

Maybe it was the way he looked in his outfit, the way his voice growled when he rapped his lines, or just the overjoyed expression on his face. He was happy, and was doing something he prepared so long for. The overwhelming emotions started to pour out of you as did the tears. You were sobbing happy tears for him. Seeing your boyfriend finally getting to debut made you cry like you’ve never cried before.

When he got off the stage, he quickly ran to you and picked you up in a big swinging hug. When he set you back down and looked into your eyes, he saw them glossed over with tears.

“Baby, why are you crying?” he asked.

“I’m so proud of you! I love seeing you like this, and I’m just so happy for you! Can I not be proud of my boyfriend?!”

“Don’t cry, you’ll make me want to cry. I like it when you give me kisses, not tears, so do that instead please,” he admitted, puckering his lips out a bit.

“You’re lucky I love you…”

#nct dream #nct #Mark lee #renjun #jeno #haechan #jaemin #chenle #jisung #lucas #yukhei

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yetanotheremptypage · 7 years

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Happy Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day!

Last year, I put together this list of fic recs in honor of the day. They are all amazing, so you should definitely check them out, but in the mean time, here’s some more. I tried to tag most of the ships and/or fandoms, so if you ship any of those or are in the fandom, check out the recs below the cut. Of course, there are plenty more amazing fanfictions/writers out there, and to them, I give a huge THANK YOU! Finally, if you have any interest in any of my stories, links can be found here.

All Aboard the Dreamland Express (Swarkles, How I Met Your Mother) FF [Complete]

Farhampton, 2017. The gang convenes on the fabled front porch at long last, to regroup and address a pressing concern. Written for ficathon suggested by Beneath the Umbrella.

If the finale of HIMYM greatly upsets you, try this instead and it should solve those problems.

Between Universes (Martha Jones/Mickey Smith and Mickey Smith & Rose Tyler, Doctor Who) AO3 [Complete]

Whilst jumping universes using the Dimension Cannon, Rose meets an old friend, and one she has yet to meet, and finds out she will unknowingly give them a wonderful gift. In return, she's given something that could keep them all together even when they couldn't be further apart.

You gotta love Rose Tyler and her Dimension Cannon. In this story, it helps Martha keep fighting during the Year That Never Was, and helps Martha and Mickey find each other. It’s so well written, too.

Falser Than Vows Made In Wine (Rosaline Capulet/Benvolio Montague, Still Star Crossed) AO3 [In-progress]

In which Romeo and Juliet try to be impulsive and romantic, Rosaline and Benvolio get drunk and stupid, and what happens in Vegas... does NOT stay in Vegas.

This. Fic. Is. FANTASTIC. All of the characters are perfectly written, and the story retains the same super slow burn quality of the show, and it’s perfection. Gotta love a good Vegas Wedding AU.

Family Pond ‘Verse (Amy Pond/Rory Williams and 11/River Song, Doctor Who) AO3

This is a beautiful AU series in which Amy and Rory have another child after River, and River and the Doctor also have a kid later down the line. It is beautiful and adorable and just perfection, and features appearances from several other Who characters like Martha and Mickey.

Flood My Mornings (Jamie Fraser/Claire Fraser, Outlander) AO3 || Tumblr (@bonnie-wee-swordsman) [In-progress]

Two years after Culloden, Jamie accidentally falls through the stones, finding himself in 1950.

Bonnie is such an amazing writer and she keeps Jamie and Claire in character so freaking well and this AU is one of those where you see canon and you’re like, “But wait didn’t-- No, no that was fanfic.”

Gretel (Swarkles and Ted Mosby & Robin Scherbatsky, How I Met Your Mother) AO3 [Complete]

Robin and Ted are sitting in the bar. They actually talk. A bit.

Post-Swarkles engagement where Robin and Ted talk about their feelings and don’t shove them down.

I Got It Bad (But It Feels So Good) (Peter Parker/Michelle, Spider-Man: Homecoming) AO3 [In-Progress]

The first time she kissed him, it's a joke. Michelle knows that it's Peter under the mask. He was supposed to reveal his identity to her.

Instead, he kissed her back.

So Spideychelle consumed my life reaaal quick after seeing Homecoming and this fic is just completely amazing and I love it.

If It’s Not Too Late For Coffee (Jack Harkness & Martha Jones, Doctor Who) AO3 [Complete]

Five times Martha Jones and Jack Harkness had conversations over coffee and one time they didn't.

Martha and Jack’s friendship is just the best, and this explores that over the years. Also features Martha/Mickey.

If Only, If Only (Sanrion, Game of Thrones) FF [In-progress]

How Tyrion and Sansa's wedding night might have gone, and how their stories might have altered because of it. Show-verse.

This is the same beautiful writer who is writing Winter’s Thaw, which I talked about on my last list. This story is just as beautiful, and every time I get the email with an update, I stop what I’m doing and read it. It is so so so good and I love it.

I’ll Find You (Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, The 100) AO3 [Complete]

In every life she's granted, Clarke loves Bellamy Blake's eyes.

Every time Clarke Griffin is reincarnated, she finds Bellamy Blake. They don't always fall in love, they don't always end up together, but they find each other all the same.

I think this is such a great reincarnation fic-- they never remember each other, but no matter how shitty a situation they’re in (War, child cancer patients, and more) they always cross paths. It’s a cool exploration of the way lives can cross, and it even follows history, with an early portion existing in the days of the Roman Empire while later portions chronicle post and pre Ark life. Basically, it’s so good!

Just A Pack of Sweets (Martha Jones/Mickey Smith, Doctor Who) AO3 [Complete]

You know you wondered, and if you do the maths, it's only six weeks from the day Mickey and Martha meet to the day when Martha is said to be on her honeymoon.

Six months after that we learn that Mickey and Martha are married.

Fast work... unless it's timey wimey

I love Martha and Mickey, so this fic exploring their relationship is amazing and wonderful and awesome and I love it. Also features Rose/Tentoo

Life Is What Happens (Sybil x Tom, Downton Abbey) FF [In-progress]

A post-3x05 rewrite of Downton Abbey Series 3 and Series 4 in which Sybil lives. Previously posted on my tumblr blog as a series of drabbles re-imagining scenes in S4 with Sybil present.

Lady Sybil Lives AUs are my fav, and I love this one. Sadly *spoilers* it still kills off Matthew *end spoilers* but everything is handled so well. It’s so good.

Looks Like We Made It (Quicketh, Glee) FF [In-progress]

Future Fic. This is a sequel to "Just Let Me Try" and "We Can Do This" set 5-6 years after Quinn and Puck graduate high school. Follow them as they embark on a new phase of their lives with their family and friends.

This is so so so good. It’s the life I wish Quinn, Puck, and Beth could have had, and the other ones in the series are also perfection.

Moments (Cartson, Agent Carter) FF [Complete]

Peggy Carter, Agent, not coffee girl, not office gopher, not simply Captain America's girl, but Agent. Welcome to the new era that is my life...and Jack's as he gets taken along for the ride

Post-Season 1, including a Season 2 AU, with all of Peggy, Jack, and Daniel’s misadventures. I devoured this thing in like a night because I loved it so much, and the sequel/companion is also amazing.

Nothing Was Ordinary (Sizzy, The Mortal Instruments) AO3 [Complete]

"Isabelle was beautiful, not that Simon was biased or anything. It was a fact he knew so well, but sometimes it would just hit him; like when he was going to retrieve some fallen arrows after their fight with a Shax demon. He probably should keep cleaning what he could, making sure he wasn’t cut anywhere, wasn’t burned by ichor but he found himself just staring."

Filled with endless feels on the ending of Lady Midnight, here's a take on the scene Simon mentions in "A Long Conversation". Spoilers for the ending of Lady Midnight.

If you also flailed upon learning that Simon and Isabelle were engaged, this is the one-shot for you.

Pretty Wings (Leyton, One Tree Hill) FF [Complete]

The decision to leave is made quickly, but rationally. The goodbyes are hard, but everyone understands. When Peyton tells Lucas this is their happy ending, he just shakes his head. He tells her it's their happy beginning. Post 6x24 and future Oneshot. LP

I really wish is this is what happened with Leyton after they left. It’s beautiful and I love it.

Redemption Harbor (Leyton, One Tree Hill) FF [Complete]

One man's ferociously cruel obsession causes turmoil in Tree Hill and has our much loved characters striving for salvation, but is it too late? Faith and hope are challenged in a quest for redemption. AU LP

This is so freaking sad and angsty but so beautiful too. The sequel is also awesome.

Speak Aloud What Until Now I’ve Only Sung (Auslly, Austin and Ally) FF [Complete]

It takes eleven years of bad timing and miscommunication, plus one called off engagement, but eventually they figure it out. Austin/Ally through the years. "Austin is her best friend. Having him in her life is more important than anything else ... even if it means having her heart broken from time to time." Complete.

This slightly AU fic is just the right amount of angsty that you have to keep reading, and of course, these two idiots are perfectly in character to boot.

Stay With Me, Go Places (Swarkles, How I Met Your Mother) FF [In-progress]

"No, we really did get divorced. It just kind of turns out that we sucked at it."

If you also were destroyed by the HIMYM finale and need a new canon to accept, may I suggest this one?

To Build A Home (Frary, Reign) FF [Complete]

"The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest." -Debra Ginsberg / Nine months, nine moments, and the building of a family.

Frary baby feels that I sometimes forget aren’t canon because this story’s that good.

And now, some awesome writers:

quantum-oddity (Mostly Hamilton) AO3 || Tumblr (@my-dearesteliza)

If you love Hamliza and/or Philtheo you need to read these fics. If you love family fluff you need to read these fics. If you love smut you need to read these fics. Long story short, you need to read these fics.

gotham-ruaidh (Mostly Outlander) AO3 || Tumblr (@gotham-ruaidh)

Gotham’s absolutely amazing Jamie and Claire fics are amazing. My personal favorite is the Modern Glasgow AU, where Jamie and Claire raise their children in modern-day Glasgow. So many Outlander characters appear in various different forms and it makes me so happy.

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