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geniuscloud · 3 years

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Paper Crown - Eric Sohn (The Boyz)

Author Note: Hello! I know I've been gone for like... 2 years but I’m back with some The Boyz fanfics mainly because they’ve become my ults over the last few years and I really wanted to write about them. This is a new beginning for my Tumblr page, so please look forward to some more fanfics from me in the future! Also comments are greatly appreciated! Makes writers feel more motivated to write, so I’d appreciate feedback if anyone wants to!

~NOT EDITED SORRY~

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, like one suggestive remark.

Eric Sohn X Reader (Fem!)

University AU!

Warnings: Suggestive humour and a little bit of swearing.

Word Count: 2.6K

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A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you shut your laptop closed; submitting your final essay with only 7 minutes to spare. Stretching your arms above your head with a grunt before picking yourself up off of your living room floor. You always heard from your high school teachers that university essays were a different league of difficulty, but you didn’t expect to go from someone who usually got high grades for essays in high school, to getting multiple C+ and a handful of B- which caused the good student in you to panic even more during finals. Every C was a chip away at your academic scholarship, which although wasn’t much, it still lessened the impending doom that was student loans. You were suddenly pulled away from your thoughts at the sound of a pair of keys jingling at the front door of your apartment.

“Eric?” you called out, knowing he was the only other person with a pair of keys to your apartment. Leaving the spare with your best friend incase of emergencies, but instead using it as his leisure to gain access to your apartment whenever he pleases. You placed your laptop down on the coffee table before approaching the door, which swung open right as you got to the doorway.

“Hey hey Y/N, how’s the paper going?” Eric smiled, closing the door behind him before kicking off his shoes and slipping on a pair of slippers he conveniently left at your house for when he visits.

“I just finished actually, you uh- didn’t think to call or text that you were on your way?”

“I knew your paper was due at midnight, just wanted to surprise you with some snacks for when you were done,” he smiled, placing the plastic bag on the counter while raising his eyebrows at you, “What? Are you not happy to see me?”

“No I’m always happy to see you, I just… I’ve had a long day and I’m just nervous,” you replied, opening the lid to a soda you snatched from the bag.

His strong arms reached out to you, pulling you in close for a tight hug before pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head, “It’s okay love; you’re an amazing writer and a great student. You’ll be fine, it’s over and there’s nothing you can do to change it now, okay? Just relax and enjoy the start of summer break.”

It was the heart fluttering moments like this where you regretted not officially dating Eric, wanting so badly to have him litter you with kisses during stressful moments, have him always be around to comfort you while you weren’t at your best, emotionally wise. Eric was your rock, the person who kept you sane, brought a smile to your face during tough times and reminded you to have fun.

You both were aware of the mutual feelings you held, a little seed of love that was embedded deep in your heart for one another, but Eric was also someone you couldn't afford to lose. There have been many times you both talked about your relationship, longing for each other beyond innocent forehead kisses, tight hugs, and cuddles on the couch while watching a movie. You wanted every little piece of him and his heart, but your track record of failed relationships and the fear of commitment loomed over you like a dark cloud. Hours of crying into his arms saying your feelings for him kept growing after all the years of friendship, but he was also there when your family fell apart; knowing how broken it left you and the tragic mindset that love doesn’t last. Eric understood you better than you understood yourself; whispering a sentence that has stuck with you since you admitted your feelings for each other about a year ago, “You’re worth the wait.”

Pulling away from his grasp you placed your hands on the counter, looking over to the clock reading 12:09am. Neither of you were strangers to late hangouts, seeking comfort in the darkness of night as you spent hours mindlessly passing time through half-lidded, and sleep filled eyes. Watching dawn break from your balcony over mugs of hot chocolate and damp wind biting at your cheeks, feeling every ounce of energy leave your body, but fighting the urge to sleep so you can spend every precious second with the man you’ve fallen in love with. He was like a human battery, his energy so addicting you found yourself craving him like a drug. How easily he stayed up until 4 or 5am without a single yawn, while you were on your 20th “wind” of energy for the night. It was something you could never wrap your head around or even begin to understand.

“I see you’ve been too busy to clean up,” he laughed, gesturing to the scattered take-out boxes in your living room.

“Hey, shut up. I was stress eating while trying to meet a deadline!”

“Every time I come over during one of your mental breakdowns and witness the aftermath, you really just solidify that you need me. Who else would be here to help clean up after you’ve basically turned your apartment into a disaster zone?”

“It’s literally 3 boxes, don’t be an ass,” you laughed, elbowing him in the ribs as he picked up a container off the floor.

“So, now that you’re free, do you want to go do something? Maybe get your mind off of things for a little while?”

“Hmm and what do you have in mind for one of your famous late night escapades?” a smirk falling on your lips once again.

“Well… I did bring my skateboard, how about I finally teach you?”

“No way, I'm not getting on that thing. Do you want me to crack my head open?!”

“I’ll hold you, don’t worry. We’ll just go for a walk, get some fresh air and relax. Okay?” He smiled, grabbing your hand and slowly pulling you towards the door. Eric’s hands were large in comparison to yours, warm too. Feeling tingles creep across your palms as he grips yours; no longer being able to hold back the intense feelings you held for him anymore. Everything Eric would do made your heart beat quicken, feeling fire in every graze of skin. He quickly buried your hand into his grey hoodie pocket, keeping your fingers locked with his as you closed up your apartment with your free hand.

Stepping onto the street in the middle of the night was almost euphoric. The street lamps glowing from above as a soft warm breeze ruffled through your hair, slightly messing Eric’s fluffy brown bangs which were parted slightly to the side. The only noise being the buzzing from a dying lamp-light and Eric’s soft sigh before pulling you towards the direction of a nearby park. The walk was still silent, usually your conversations were at its peak excitement by now, but it was a little different this time around. The usually chatty boy was now strangely silent, his fingers still locked with yours but random gentle squeezes occurring when he would look at you; his lips falling into a half smile.

“You okay?” you asked, “You’re awfully quiet tonight?”

“Mmm yeah, I’m just savouring the moment with you.”

“Why are you making it sound like you’re leaving?”

“Oh God, no I'm not going anywhere! You can’t get rid of me that easily, just… taking a moment to reflect on us, you know?”

“Like us as friends, or… you know… us.”

“It’s a secret,” he whispered, playfully bumping shoulders.

“Hey, I'm the other part of the equation. You should include me too,” you pouted.

“I’m just thinking. You know I still really like you, right?”

“I mean… I hope you wouldn’t have really changed feelings in like a year. Have they?”

He looked up into the night sky before glancing down into your eyes. They were dark, but also so bright and full of life.

“Yeah I think my feelings have changed a bit though.”

“Oh…” your heart dropped a little bit at his words, feeling a sinking feeling burn inside your chest.

“Yeah, I think I’m in love with you,” Eric slightly huffed with a pleased look on his face while glancing back up at the sky.

“Oh. Um- wow, okay,” you began to stumble out. You definitely weren’t prepared for that.

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to say anything. I just felt like I should let you know, I'm not expecting a response from you. Let’s just go teach you to skate.” This boy really just likes making you blush and freak out from his little bold moments.

It wasn’t long before you reached the park. Seeing the neon 24-hour fast food restaurant sign light up the entire street from across the road. A place you visited frequently with Eric when hanging out at the park. “If you successfully ride on the board for more than 30 seconds by yourself without falling on your face, I'll treat us to burgers and a milkshake. Got it?!” he snickered while placing it on the ground in front of you.

“Just help me first, and then you have a deal.”

Eric walked around to your side before placing his hand on your hip, threading his fingers with your extended arm while you gripped onto his shoulder with your other hand. Slowly walking beside you for support as you stood on the board.

“Okay good… now can you try to push with your one foot? I’m just pulling you at this point.”

“Shut up, I'm trying my best.”

“You’ve been on it for like 10 seconds, calm down.”

“This has been the longest I've been on it, so just let me go at my own pace,” you huffed out.

“Yeah, well I want burgers TONIGHT, not in 14 days. Just try, I believe in you.”

“You already told me you’re in love with me, how many more heart spikes do you think I can take tonight?!”

“Hey I’m a romantic guy! You want me to hold in my feelings for you?” Eric laughed, his eyes crinkling with a giddy expression.

“Romantic guy my foot!” you spat, the skateboard underneath you starting to go faster.

Over an hour and 2 almost disasters later, you managed to go a measlely 20 feet on the skateboard alone. “I have officially tamed the demon, now let’s go get some food! You owe me!”

“I don’t really think that was 30 seconds…”

“Close enough! Now let’s get some mediocre fast food and head back home,” you cheered while placing his skateboard into his hands before running across the deserted street. He rolled his eyes with a sigh before chasing after you, his black tank-top underneath his sweater slightly poking out over a pair of perfectly rounded shoulders. Sitting down in the booth you felt the cold seat press against your thighs, the air conditioner running at full blast at almost 2am while Eric leaned over the counter to order the usual. Moments later he returned with a tray of food and a paper king crown on his head, meaning he must have somehow convinced the man at the till to give him the crown from the childrens’ meal, despite getting regular combos.

“Two cheese burgers, medium fries, and a strawberry milkshake to share,” he announced while sliding the tray towards you.

“A milkshake to share? You’re that cheap?”

“I’m being romantic!”

“We’re gonna end up getting a second one on the way out…”

“Yeah probably,” he dead-panned while unwrapping his burger. The crown on his head started slipping off his hair, quickling pushing it back up with your left hand before it fell into the fries.

“How’d you get that?”

“Eh, I basically just asked. It improves the experience if I do say so myself.”

“You’re such a child.”

“And you’re just jealous I didn’t get you one too,” Eric exclaimed.

It wasn’t long before you grabbed your second milkshake and headed back to your apartment. He slowly skated beside you before suggesting he pulled you around on it again, hoping to get back to your place before 3am hit but also knowing how slow you walked when you were tired. After a short and silent stroll, you pushed your keys into the heavy door of your apartment. Eric immediately went to grab the large blanket and began to set up outside on the balcony where you both spent most of your time talking. You placed the milkshake down on the table before sitting on the padded-loveseat beside him to hide under the blanket which was wrapped around his shoulders.

“Are you cold?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, just a little bit.” He reached his arm around you, cascading the blanket over the two of you before pulling you into him. He was warm and his clothes smelled like a mix of clean laundry and the muted smell of the cologne you bought him for his last birthday. A familiar scent which felt like home. Eric rested his chin beside your head; feeling your forehead press into his neck before wrapping your arms around his torso and cuddling into him deeper.

“You make it so hard to not fall for you…” you whisper while closing your eyes and inhaling his scent. He doesn’t reply, just the feeling of his thumb gazing at your side before squeezing you a little tighter. “I’m sorry I’ve been making this so hard for the both of us, we’re so obviously in love with each other but I’m just afraid of the label of being a proper couple… It’s not fair that I keep making us fall into a weird limbo of couple and friends.”

“Y/N you know friends don’t do this type of stuff.”

“Yeah… I just- I’m afraid of losing you.”

“I know love. I wouldn’t want to lose you either but that doesn’t stop my desire to just kiss you until I have no air left in my lungs.”

“Fuck- maybe you are romantic,” you gaze back up at the paper crown on his head, “Okay… well you kinda killed it again with the stupid crown.” He chuckled before placing the crown onto your head and leaning back to admire you.

“I will admit, it suits you a little more.” You scoffed at the dorky comment he made before resting your head on his shoulder. “So my queen… Do you have any requests?”

“If we become a couple officially, do you think we’ll still be the same?”

He pondered for a second before looking down into your eyes. “I don’t think we’ll be the same, we’re only in our early twenties so we’re going to change and adapt as we grow. I do think we’ll grow together though and learn to deal with things differently as a couple... a team. Plus I'd be a little sad if we stayed the same as now, there are so many things I wanna do with you.”

“Keep it in your pants Sohn.”

“I meant cute things as a couple that we don’t do now, but okay miss dirty-mind. Just revealed what you think of me,” he smirked while wiggling his eyebrows. “Back to the original topic though… Anything you want me to do?”

“I want you to show me that love isn’t temporary.”

“Now that is something I can do,” Eric mumbled before leaning into you. His lips found yours instantly, feeling the smooth skin pressed against yours in desperation. It was a moment your heart longed for after all this time. Every bit of dopamine in your body releases in full bloom like a warm spring day. It was falling in love with him slowly, and then all at once.

#theboyz #The Boyz #TBZ #tbz fanfic #The Boyz fanfic #The Boyz Fluff #TBZ Fluff #kpop #kpop fanfic #eric sohn #sohn youngjae #son youngjae #eric son

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geniuscloud · 5 years

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Only The Lonely Survive- ATEEZ (Yeosang)

I’m actually kind of proud of this one, so hopefully it’s good! I didn't edit it though, so be warned. Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed writing this.

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Yeosang X Reader (Fem!)

Private School AU

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of mature themes. Mild bullying.

Word Count: 4.8K

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“Um excuse me, are you okay? Class ended 15 minutes ago.”

I was startled awake by the voice of a classmate, who lightly shook my shoulder to wake me from my sleep. The panic in my face began to settle as I quickly scanned around the room, all the desks were completely empty and the only people left were the girl and myself.

“Holy shit, what time is it?”

“It’s 12:16, it’s lunch break right now. You were out cold, do you want me to walk you to the nurses office?” she replied. She was short, extremely long dark hair and big glasses framed her face. Wendy, the shy girl who hardly spoke to anyone, but definitely one of the most caring people in our grade.

“No it’s okay, thanks Wendy. I just was working really late last night, I guess I dozed off because I didn’t get much sleep. Thanks for waking me up, I need to put up my flyers before class starts again.” I quickly collected my bag, giving her a small smile before rushing out of the classroom and into the hall. I had less than 45 minutes to hang my tutoring flyers, plus I had to get to my locker, eat and get to my next class on the other side of the building. I tried to work as fast as possible and was able to get it done within 20 minutes, giving me some time to spare to refuel my energy with food.

“Hey poverty, move. You’re in the way of my locker.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes before spinning around to see who belonged to the voice, “Natalie, nice to see you haven’t changed a bit over the holidays...”

“Nice to see that you’re still poor. Cute sweater by the way, where did you get it? Walmart? Or is that still too expensive for you?”

“Can’t you learn to shut up for once in your life?”

“Can’t you learn that you’re not welcome here? It’s a private academy for the privileged, not for scholarship riding wannabes,” she smirked.

“Nat leave her alone,” a deeper voice spoke behind her. Natalie's eyes widened a little before spinning around on her heels, coming face to face with the guy behind her.

“Sangie, I'm just being honest.”

“Actually you’re being a bitch, do you mind?” he said, titling his head to the side trying to signal for her to leave.

“Here, why don’t you take a flyer on your way out. All that fake tanning must be melting your brain a little, I can help with that,” I smiled while passing her a flyer. Her eyebrows furrowed in response, quickly stomping off without the flyer. Suddenly the paper that laid in my hand lazily was pulled from my grasp as Yeosang studied it.

“You’re doing tutoring?”

“Yeah, I thought about making some extra money to help my parents out. Do you know anyone who might need it?”

“I’m not failing, but I could always use some help getting a little higher grades. Count me in, when can we start?” he smiled.

“We can start after school if you’re not busy? All tutoring sessions will be 90-120 minutes maximum after school because I have to work at 6:30pm most weekdays.”

“Cool, here’s my number. Text me when you find a meeting spot and I'll meet you there,” he shot a quick wink in response before he slung his backpack over his shoulder once again. There was a weird skip of a beat in my heart as my eyes followed his back down the hall. I put my hands to my cheeks, feeling them heat up slightly before I rested my forehead on my locker. Yeosang really was as attractive as everyone had gushed about. His eyes were definitely the first thing anyone noticed about him, and that jawline? My God, you could cut diamonds with that thing.

The rest of the day went by so slowly and the anticipation of getting to study with Yeosang for some reason made me excited but nervous. He was so popular and so attractive, and usually I would stay away from everyone in this school, because most people were snobby due to their social background. Though from what I could tell, he seemed very nice. I’ve never heard anything bad about him, and he definitely wasn’t the stereotypical popular jerk. The final bell rang, and I almost sprinted out of the class and to my locker, quickly grabbing my stuff before running to the washroom. I did a quick check of my makeup, and brushed my hair. I honestly don’t know why I felt some kind of pressure to look good; I was just helping him study!?

I found my way to the quiet section of the library. The walls were lined from the roof to the floor with books, and the old hand carved wood gave the most elegant and antique look. It looked like a scene from a fairy tale had come to life. I sat down at the one table in the far back and let Yeosang know where I was. I felt a knot in my stomach grow from the nerves, and sat patiently for him. What if he doesn’t show up? What if he was just trying to make a fool out of me and waste my time? My palms began to sweat a little, and I rubbed them on my black skinny jeans.

“Y/N?” I looked up from the table, trying to hide the anxiety clearly written on my face.

“Yeosang, hey. I’m glad you showed up.”

“Sorry I took so long, I can to call my parents and let them know I was going to be home later, and then I went down the wrong hall and had to loop back,” he smiled while getting his backpack down beside him and he slid into the seat beside me.

“Okay, well let’s get started. What classes do you need help with?”

“Currently my lowest mark is History, I'm pretty bad at memorizing dates.”

“Okay, well let’s start on that, I'm assuming you’re around chapter 5-6 right now?”

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Soon enough, the hour turned into three, and the light from the sky had completely drained into pitch black. Our time studying was mixed with work and casual chatting, hearing stories about his life and his unfortunate and short-lived relationship with Natalie. I felt extremely comfortable with him, sharing some stories about my childhood as well. We were very different, but it was enjoyable.

“Hey Y/N, do you mind if I ask you a question? It’s okay if you don’t answer me.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

He looked around a little before facing me again, “Why are you always alone? I see you often, but you never are with anyone or talking to anyone?”

I deep a deep breath before leaning forward over the table, “I’m not going to lie. A lot of people look down on me because the only reason I can attend this school is because of a scholarship. My grades are so high I was offered a scholarship as long as I keep my grades up. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here, and everyone knows that. This academy is extremely expensive, and no regular folk can just attend this school unless you’re super rich. You see everyone here wearing Gucci clothes and driving nice cars, while I'm a ‘order this cute sweater online because it’s on sale and public transportation’ kind of girl.”

“That’s pretty shallow of others, I think you’re pretty fantastic regardless,” he smiled. I laughed a little before drawing my attention back to the book, continuing to write down some information from the textbook for him. “Wow it sure is getting dark, it’s also starting to snow,” he said gazing out of the window.

“Holy crap, what time is it?”

“It’s 5:44 pm, we’ve been studying for almost 3 hours now. That’s crazy?”

“Oh my God, I have to go. I have work at 6:30!” I shrieked while quickly packing my stuff, “We were supposed to be done an hour ago!”

“I’m sorry I distracted you, how about I walk you to work it’s dark out anyways. I’d rather you get there safe,” he suggested while packing his stuff as well.

“You really don’t have to, it’s okay.”

“No, please, let me walk you to work.” I nodded shyly while putting on my jacket and getting ready to leave with Yeosang beside me. His black padded jacket went down to his knees, and he wrapped a scarf around his neck before turning around to face me. My jacket was zipped up as high as it could go, no scarf, hat, or gloves. “Did you not bring anything but your jacket?”

“I did, but I left my scarf on the public bus, so it’s long gone.”

“Do you want to use mine?”

“Nah, I don’t want you to be cold.” He just lightly laughed before grabbing my hand and spinning me around to face him. His eyes stared into mine as he unwrapped the scarf and put it around me. My breathing slowed down slightly as he kept eye contact with me, neatly wrapping the scarf until my mouth was hidden from the bitter cold.

“I’m not letting you get cold, we can’t let your head freeze if you’re going to be tutoring people.”

“Um, thank you..” I was so glad the scarf was hiding my cheeks, because they were bright red by now. He tucked his hands into his pocket and we started walking down towards the convenience store where I worked evenings occasionally. The walk was silent for the most part, he occasionally asked me a few questions and we continued our conversation from earlier. Surprisingly I was really comfortable around him, he seemed so genuinely kind and interested in getting to know me. The walk was quick, and a little part of me wished we could have done this longer.

“Yeosang, thanks for walking me to work and lending me your scarf. I had a good time studying with you. Here let me give you this back,” I said removing the scarf.

“Won’t you need it on your way home?”

“No, my mom is going to pick me up after work, so please take it back.”

“Okay, and I should probably pay you for the session now, right? The flyer said $15 an hour?” he mumbled grabbing his wallet out, “I only have a $50 so you can accept a $5 tip, right?”

“Nah, for you the first session is free. Plus I had a lot of fun hanging out with you, and you lent me your scarf. Anyways, I should get to work, I'll see you at our next session. Have a good night Yeosang...”

“You too Y/N, text me when you get home so I know you’re safe,” he smiled while wrapping the beige scarf around his face. The color contrasted with his dark brown hair which was still perfect even though the light wind caused a few flyway's to appear every once in awhile. I nodded slightly as he turned away, walking across the street and disappearing through the park. There it was again, the skip in my heart beat returned as I watched him leave for the second time.

__________________

A few weeks had passed since our first study session. He started attending our tutoring sessions three times a week, forcing me to reduce the price because it felt like he was trying to pay me to hang out with him more than anything. I also started tutoring a few other students during lunch or after school on other days. Our tutoring relationship started turning into a real friendship, and I had to learn to control my heart around him. I started seeing him more often, hanging out with him and his friends during lunch sometimes as well. After attending this academy on my scholarship for 2 years, I finally felt like I made a real friend. There were so many shallow people in this school, but I quickly discovered that some of the other students here weren’t so bad after all, and not everyone was ready to cause me emotional distress just because of my money situation.

“Y/N, you’re joining us for lunch tomorrow, right?” Mingi asked, one of Yeosang’s friends who happened to sit behind me in my chemistry class.

“Yeah sure, are we meeting in the cafeteria like usual?”

“Yup. I’ll text the boys and let them know.” Mingi was a special guy, very tall and athletic looking, but very sweet and almost childlike. I used to avoid him because I thought he’d be very cold, but in reality he was a big sweet heart who was scared of bugs. Besides Yeosang, Mingi was definitely who I was closest with out of the group.

‘Hey, can we meet after school in the library? I know we don’t have a tutoring session today, but it’s important.’ The message lit up my phone screen, seeing Yeosangs ID show up.

‘Yeah, I'm not busy today. We can meet up for a bit,’ I replied back.

Soon enough the bell rang, and I headed to the library, our designated meet up spot. I saw him sitting on the edge of the table, a little white bag beside him and his phone in his hand.

“Sang, what’s up?”

“Hey Y/N, sorry to bother you on your day off. I just had something I wanted to give you. It’s a thank you gift for tutoring me even though you keep refusing my money, and also a little thanks for being my friend.” I stopped in my tracks, pursing my lips together slightly before letting my head tilt sideways in confusion.

“You got me a gift?” I asked puzzled.

“Yeah, I remember you needed one, and with it getting cold I thought you might need it,” he smiled while passing the bag to me. I’ll admit, I was interested in knowing what he had boughten me and so I accepted it. My eyes were still squinted with curiosity and disbelief as I kept panning from the bag to his face. After removing the tissue paper, I saw the soft navy pattern fabric neatly folded in the bag.

“You got me a scarf?”

“Yeah, there’s also a little matching hair bow. I remember you said you lost your other one on the bus a few weeks ago and I heard we’re supposed to get another snow storm soon. I wanted to make sure you were warm.” I pulled the scarf out and examined it, it looked like a washed-out charcoal navy color with geometric white and red lines. The fabric was so soft and warm, I couldn’t believe I could like a scarf this much. It looked like a darker version of the beige scarf he had lent me a few weeks ago. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, thank you Yeosang. You really didn’t have to get me anything! I could have gotten one for myself a little later on.”

“Nah, this was nothing. Wait until your birthday, that’s when I really pull out all the stops for my friends,” he said while flashing a bright smile. I couldn’t help but smile back while I rolled my eyes playfully. He then got to his feet and grabbed the scarf from my hands, gently wrapping it around me once again, just like he did the first time. His hands lingered a little as they dragged down the brown fabric of my long jacket, sliding his fingers down the opening where the buttons were sown. His grip never let go, and I felt a little tug causing me to shuffle closer to him a bit. His other hand slid the scarf that was over my mouth down, just barely revealing my lips. I felt the air from my lungs escape all in one go, as if someone had just stepped on my lungs. His eyes were no longer locked into my own, but instead had focused his attention on my lips. My knees felt weak as I tried to make sense of the situation. Maybe I had some food on my mouth that I hadn’t noticed for the last 3 hours while I was in class?

“Y/N may I ki-”

“Excuse me you two, the library is actually closed for the evening,” a voice said interrupting us. Our eyes quickly snapped towards the librarian who stood to the side with he arms crossed. I took the opportunity to slip away from Yeosang’s grasp and apologize while leaving quickly. Did he just ask me if he could...? Did that really just happen? Yeosang tried to catch up with me, but I ducked through a couple hallways and disappeared out of sight.

_______________________

The next morning I felt emotionally and mentally exhausted. I ignored the handful of texts Yeosang sent asking if I was okay, if he had done something wrong, and if I made it home safe. I didn’t want the police busting down my door because he thought I had gone missing, so I had sent a little thumbs up just so he knew I was still alive. I felt odd, because a part of me really wanted to kiss him, but the other part of me just wouldn’t let him. I've been alone for so long, and I’m still a little too afraid to let people in my life; since only the lonely survive.

I peeled myself out of bed and into the shower to try and wake myself up. The weather was dreadful, the type of damp-cold that stuck to your bones after going inside. I settled on a pair of black comfy jeans, and a large knit sweater to keep me warm. A little part of me wanted to still try to look cute, knowing I was going to have to face Yeosang and the rest of the boys today at some point. After applying makeup, I sat on my bed and stared at the little white bag in the corner.

“He did buy it for me, and I might as well use it” I sighed. I quickly pinned up my hair and slid the hairbow in to secure it. I still had no idea why I was trying to look cute when I literally was an emotional mess on the inside. I will admit that the walk to school was much warmer than usual. I had a few people look at me as I walked through the halls towards my locker, and it felt a little strange having people actually look at me. What I thought would be a peaceful morning turned south as soon as I heard the nauseating voice of Natalie tell me to move out of the way from our lockers which were unfortunately side by side.

“Wow poverty, what student did you steal that scarf from?” she mocked.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m not a fool, I know brand name when I see it. I know there is no way you bought a $900 Burberry scarf by yourself. What? Did you steal it?”

“I’m sorry, what? $900 scarf?” I asked, puzzled while searching the ends of my scarf. Low and behold, there was a small ‘Burberry’ tag sown on the ending of the scarf.

“Cough it up, how’d you get that? Wait a matching bow too? What the hell, did you get yourself a sugar daddy or something?!” I could hardly believe my ears, and I felt pressure begin to bubble in my chest.

“Y-Yeosang bought this for me...” I mumbled out.

“What the hell? I knew your so-called tutoring sessions were bullshit. Oh my God, are you hoeing around so you can fit in?” she smirked, her face falling into pure amusement, “Holy shit you are. You’re Yeosang’s play toy aren’t you?”

“What are you talking about?! We literally meet in the library!” I yelled.

“You are not helping yourself. A quiet library like that, you could easily slip under the table unnoticed. Holy shit, I can’t wait to tell everyone what you’ve been doing. If you thought your reputation couldn’t get any worse, wait until this spreads around. You’re going to be so embarrassed that you’ll be begging to leave this school.”

“Natalie, can you stop harassing her!?” a somewhat deeper voice yelled. My eyes instantly fell on the small group of boys behind us. San was angry, his lips now pursed after yelling at her and had his hands balled up in fists, standing a little bit in front of Yeosang and Yunho.

“Are you really hoeing around with all of them?” she said with her mouth agape in amusement, “this is rich.” Natalie pushed passed me and walked off down the hall.

“Hey are you okay?” Yeosang asked, grabbing my arm.

“No, t-this... I can’t do this. Why did you do it?” I asked, my voice beginning to crack as the tears started to spill down my cheeks.

“What did I do?”

“Why would you buy me a $900 scarf!? You know how I feel about money!?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think much of it. I just thought tha-”

“That’s right! You don’t think much about anything. You just throw your money around like it’s nothing! Natalie is now telling everyone that I'm a prostitute, and that I'm your sick little play toy. I’m not a charity case that you can just invest a bunch of money into!” I yelled.

“That’s not what I meant, I just wanted to get you a gift! I wanted to get you something brand name because I knew you’d never do something like that for yourself!”

“What? Just because I don’t value brand name the same as you? Tell me honestly, are you embarrassed to be friends with me because my family doesn’t have money?”

“Are you crazy?! I don’t care that you’re not rich, I just wanted to get you a fucking gift! You’re blowing everything out of proportion. I didn’t say or even insinuate any of these things!” he started to argue back. San and Yunho took a step back, hearing San try to stop our fight.

“Then why the hell did you buy me gifts huh?!”

“Because I like you, okay?! I wanted to give you gifts because I wanted to prove that I could be a good potential boyfriend, and show my affection! That’s also why I tried to kiss you, are you happy now?”

My heart sunk and I took a step back. He just admitted his feelings, but also expressed that he was trying to woo me with his money. To him I was just like the rest of these prissy girls in my school who expected to be treated like a queen and want expensive gifts.

“I’m not for sale you asshole,” I spat. His furrowed expression fell as I shoved past him. For the first time in years, I skipped school and went home.

___________________________

The weekend had given me time to recover, but the amount of texts and call I got from the boys kept reminding me of the memories I didn’t want. Maybe I was overreacting, since he did have good intentions. I just couldn’t help but feel dirty, and sick to my stomach. I was no better than Natalie, the obnoxious and self-absorbed drama queen. I don’t know what to expect when I go to school, but if Natalie has told everyone the rumors I'm going to be a walking punchline.

I could hardly drag myself out of bed and into some clean clothes. I decided against a shower and makeup, settling on washing my face and leaving my hair down. I just didn’t have the power to put effort into my appearance, especially when I might be crying everything off anyways.

The walk to school was torturous, but luckily the weather wasn’t bad. The snow for the most part has gone, but it was still a little chilly. I dragged my feet against the concrete, the lull of emotions evident on my face as I entered school for the first time in 4 days.

“Hey,” someone muttered to me as I struggled with the lock on my locker. I was expecting the bitchy tone I hear every morning, but to my surprise she seemed rather calm. I almost didn’t believe it was her. “You look like shit...”

“Thanks,” I grumbled.

“Are you okay?”

“Why the hell do you care? Four days ago you were ready to ruin my life and now you’re expressing some kind of concern?”

“Listen here Pove- I mean Y/N... I just wanted to apologize for what happened on Friday. As much as I don’t like you, I took it too far. I know how it feels to be threatened like that because it’s happened to me as well. That’s actually kind of the reason I came to this school anyways, because I was running away from a rumor at my old school. I shouldn’t have done that to you, and just so you know I never told anyone,” she confessed. I was utterly stunned by the words coming out of her mouth. “Don’t get me wrong, I still hate you and want you to leave because you don’t belong, but I wanted to apologize for this. I’ll try to not being such a raging bitch to you all the time. Your face still makes me want to vomit, but I'll try to ignore you from now on as much as I can.”

“Um, thanks I guess. I’ll try to ignore you as well?”

She shrugged a little before carrying on with her day as I finally got the lock open. Within a matter of seconds dozens of papers came flying out of my locker, spilling all over the floor and my feet.

“Great, someone else has a problem with me...” I sighed, picking up the papers. They were notes, the same hand writing in black ink had my name written on the front of them. I knit my eyebrows together in confusion while struggling to open one.

‘You are the best person I’ve ever met.’

‘I miss you.’

‘I love the way you laugh.’

‘You are make me lovely.’

‘You are all the colors at once, in full brightness... -All The Bright Places, by Jennifer Niven. Yes I read your favorite book.’

The only thing that was consistent with every note was Yeosang’s signature on the bottom of each note. I choked up a little bit, as I began to fill the small pocket of my bag with the notes.

‘Please meet me at the library during lunch’ I texted Yeosang.

_______________________

I sat at the table in the library, anxiously playing the the hem of my shirt. I needed to apologize to yeosang for lashing out like that, but he might not be willing to accept my apology. He did confess his feelings for me, and I straight up just squashed him without any remorse or thought about how he feels.

“Y/N, are you here?” his voice whispered from around the corner.

“Yeah I'm here.”

“Um, thanks for texting me. What made you change your mind and come see me?”

“Your letters actually, and the fact that Natalie apologized to me. If she can admit she did something wrong, I can as well. I really overreacted, you were just trying to be sweet and I completely blew up in your face. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for not being considerate of how you felt, I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just what I'm used to. I grew up with the norm that you buy the people who you care about expensive gifts and you show that you cherish them.”

“I know, I should have tried to be more level headed and understanding about it. The truth is, when you told me you liked me, my heart stopped for a second. I’ve wanted to hear you say that from the first day that we hung out, and I completely ruined it. I really like you too Yeosang, and I hope I didn’t ruin our chances; because I really wanted to kiss you that night... Hell, I really WANT to kiss you,” I admitted.

“I really want to forgive you and be done with it, but I also kind of want to make you suffer for crushing my heart,” he laughed.

“Yeah... I deserve that.”

“You do, but I don’t think my heart can let me. As much as I want to tease you, a bigger part of me wants to kiss you as well.”

“Then what’s stopping you?” I smiled, stepping a little closer to him, craning my neck upwards to face him.

“I need your permission, because once I kiss you I don’t want to stop. I want to kiss you as much as possible every day. I want you to be mine as long as you’ll have me.”

“Then you’re allowed to kiss me.”

His hands found themselves in the small of my back, pulling me even closer before pressing his lips to mine. He was everything I found myself falling for, he was perfectly lovely in every way. Absolutely lovely.

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