#last time i asked a friend about this they said i'm probably nonbinary but I straight up don't know how i'd know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months

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Keep in mind for this, I'm audhd and trans/nonbinary.

So a really close friend of mine for years broke off contact with me because we kept getting into "arguments" about my being trans, and anything trans related really.

Basically, I came out to her as enby when was still on the fence about how I wanted to be addressed and everything. Still getting rid of a lot of Catholic/Christian-taught internal conflicts before really being able to figure stuff out. And she was fine with it! Hesitant on the pronouns and stuff, but from her response, it seemed (at the time) like she was okay with me being me. Even after changing my name.

Until I actually started transitioning. Physically, that is. Then she just started ignoring the topic completely and kept jumping over anything going on in my life if it had to do with trans stuff. When I called her out on it, she said it made her feel uncomfortable, so I did my best to reign it back for a while.

But the longer time went on, the more frustrated I got. She's extremely religious and I'm not much anymore (and never really was that devout to begin with), but any conversation on "hey, please don't try to keep converting me" or "can we not talk about this thing that makes all trans people look like monsters (even though you say you don't mean me when you share this stuff)" went ignored or unheard.

Eventually it was forced on me (by her, in her own words) to be friends anymore or not. I was given an ultimatum not to be trans or we "probably should stop talking to each other because we keep arguing about it".

I've talked about it with my friends that I still have, as well as my family, who know the two of us, and everyone has been in agreement that she's been the one in the wrong.

But I still feel guilty? Like, I never like crossing boundaries and don't want to make anyone uncomfortable because I know from my own experience that it's crap. It's just.... It's not like I could stop bringing up trans stuff? Especially when she would share misinformation about it and I'd have to correct her. Or like, I'd share a post about my life because I'm proud of who I am. Or she'd ask "how are you" and it would just come up organically because it's been a big effect on my life.

I dunno. Everyone tells me I'm not the one in the wrong, but I feel like I was? In part? It still confuses me, to be honest, and it's been some years now. We've only talked once since and it was the same ultimatum before she cut me off herself after I said I already had transitioned since we last talked, so at least the burden wasn't put on me again to choose.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 4 months

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I’ve been trying to figure out for sure what alterous means for me, bc I can’t help but be curious if my feelings for my girlfriend are “Romantic like with a capital R” lol, or if it’s in a vague abstract-y demi/recipro maybe alterous maybe romantic way lol.

I found this description of alterous when I was reading Reddit posts about it, and it basically said “I want to be close to you and around you and do everything with you, I just don’t care what form it takes and how we categorize ourselves.” And I totally get that. At the same time, I was the one who asked if we wanted to start officially dating bc honestly I wanted to be able to say to people “I have a partner! I have a girlfriend!!!” And I wanted that label for us too bc I just wanted that feeling of, yes we are committed to each other. But… it didn’t exactly feel like a romantic instinct to wanna call them my partner? And now that I’m thinking about it, my ex and I considered each other as boyfriends, even tho we definitely weren’t dating in any conventional sense, it was a qpr and I had no romantic feelings towards them, not even the “idk if this is romance or not” feelings like I have with my girlfriend. So yeah I think I wanted the label just so I could clearly say, “yes I’m their boyfriend and she’s my girlfriend.” But I honestly wouldn’t have cared that much if she didn’t care about official labels, but I also knew that she would love it, so I wanted the label for her too… and the way we talk and act, definitely looks romantic and the way I act when I’m rambling about them to my friends, I probably look like anyone else who is romantically in love with someone. But I think my point is, I don’t care whether or not our relationship feels “Romantic with a capital R” or not. I like that it feels kinda romantic coded bc I like doing and being cute with her in a way that’s probably romance coded, but I don’t need it to be. I guess… I guess I would consider my feelings towards her as romance-inclined alterous. And I could use my gender identity as an example. I’m nonbinary, but lean towards transmasc too even tho I don’t always feel “Masculine with a capital M”. I’m alterously in love with her, and it leans towards romantically too but I don’t always feel that “Romance with a capital R.” Huh that actually makes a lot of sense to me.

This turned into a slightly chaotic ramble lol but maybe other people can relate or it’ll help them if they’re trying to figure things out. I’ve sent in quite a few asks the last few days, but honestly this is my favorite place in all of tumblr from the first day I found this so thank you for being here for all of us :)))

~wolfyboi

Thanks for sharing your process! I definitely think people will find this helpful, it's not always simple, but it doesn't have to be.

I'm really glad to hear this blog has been helpful! And don't worry about sending in a few asks, multiple asks are definitely welcome.

All the best!

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eboshishusbandwinkwink · 4 months

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Billy Hargrove x gn!reader

Minors kindly DNI

Warning: make out, shitload of flirting, no emotional bond, drinking, swearing

Summary: Reader meets Billy at one of plenty parties and realizes he's pretty hot, can't go further than a makeout, though

Feel free to request:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Fuck, this tastes horrendous. Who bought this?" You asked your friend, Carol, as you looked over at her. She let out a small laugh as she took a sip. "Tommy did. He swore it's good, but I told him you wouldn't like it. "

You set down your cup and made a small gag noise. "God, I think I'll stay with the vodka for this."

Carol nodded. "Alright. I'll be back in a second. I wanna check where Tommy is."

You nodded softly and filled your cup up once more before pushing yourself through the crowd of people and onto the garden. There stood a group of people, surrounding a boy you've never seen on these parties before. But you rarely even went on parties so that wasn't a surprise.

He was upside down on top of a keg, seemingly drinking from it. It looks weird and a little stupid but you could see what was fun about it.

Your eyes scanned the group. They all counted as the boy kept going on and on. Once they reached the number 23, the boy got down and stood normally as he spit out the last bit of beer that was in his mouth.

Everyone cheered for him, clapping and whistling while also yelling his name through the garden.

Billy

It sounded interesting. But also so weirdly familiar.

You watched as a smile formed of your face, downing the drink in your cup happily.

Suddenly, some guy grabbed you by the shoulders and pushed you towards the keg. "(Y/n) should totally try it too!!"

You looked at the male behind you with a frown. You recognized him, but you couldn't seem to remember his name. "Fuck no, I'm not drinking that shit. I'm already dying from whatever shit Tommy-"

You couldn't even finish since everyone started cheering for you, which put some pressure on you. Said pressure got worse when that boy, Billy, smirked at you and spoke up. "Are you scared?"

And that was all it took.

You tossed aside your empty cup and took hold of the keg as you bit onto the hose, which would lead the beer into your mouth.

You raised yourself up onto the keg and started drinking.

Right now you were really fucking thankful that your parents insisted on you taking part in athletics.

And that you usually drank a lot during the day. Not necessarily alcohol but just anything in general.

Otherwise this moment would've gotten really fucking embarrassing now.

And the fact that you were pretty good at holding your breath for a long time also helped with making this much easier.

And again everyone started cheering and chanting your name as if they were trying to summon you like they would a demon.

It felt funny to you. You weren't even a party person. You weren't very popular either. And yet here you were, on your way to become the new keg king without even planning on it.

Billy probably didn't like this at all, but you genuinely couldn't care less. You had a chance to prove yourself. You weren't gonna embarrass yourself in front of so many people, especially if one of them was so fucking handsome in your opinion.

24!!

You let the hose out of your mouth and got off of the keg, stumbling back a little, though some people caught you and held you up as everyone kept cheering like they had for Billy.

You panted as some leftover beer dripped from your lips and down your chin. You looked up just to be met with the icy blue eyes. What you didn't expect was for Billy to look so.... interested. He looked like he wanted to know more about you.

You pushed yourself off of the many people before making your way to stumble inside. The alcohol was rushing to your middle while the blood that had gathered in your head was going down into your feet again.

You weren't aware that Billy followed you until you had sat yourself in the bathroom and he closed the door.

You looked over at him and fought back a smile since you didn't want to seem like you were making fun of him. Though internally you kind of were.

"I'm impressed." He said, not sounding very genuine, but you weren't gonna argue over a compliment. Instead, you smiled as you let your head fall back just slightly as you could breath. "Thanks."

"Anyone else would've choked."

You looked at him again and smirked. "I'm not anyone else. I'm (Y/n). (Y/n) (L/n), actually." You explained to which Billy nodded.

"Billy Hargrove." He said measly. You nodded softly. And then the realization hit you as to why the name sounded so familiar.

"Mm I've heard a few things about you."

To that, Billy raised a brow and smirked. "Oh yeah? And what kind of things have you heard about me?"

You raised your hand and held up one finger slowly. "That you like to fight." You raised another. "That you're fucking angry all the time." And then your raised your third finger. "And that you're a really good kisser."

Billy laughed loudly at the last one. "And who the fuck told you that?"

You pointed your finger at him as you opened your mouth, wanting to reply. But you were so drunk from the keg and the vodka that you genuinely forgot. "I... don't remember."

You lowered your hand slowly and sighed softly. "God I hate alcohol."

Billy smiled and got a little closer to you, looking directly into your eyes. "Wanna test if that last rumor is true?"

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked down at him. Your lips suddenly felt so dry that you simply had to wet them with your tongue a little.

Billy laughed and raised a hand to put it behind your head, pulling you in to kiss your lips roughly, not holding back at all.

You closed your eyes as a soft hum escaped you. Moments later, you grabbed onto his shirt and let yourself fall into his arms. This only made him pull you closer, his hand cupping your ass.

One moment, you were just kissing, and the next, you suddenly had his tongue basically down your throat, though you weren't really complaining. It felt good. Really good.

You felt Billys hands travel up slowly, his hand sneaking under your shirt slowly. Suddenly, you grabbed his hand and pulled away. "S-Stop! Don't-"

Billy let his hand fall back onto your ass and pulled you closer again. "Relax. Only make out it is." He whispered before he went back to kissing you, his tongue meeting yours once again.

You continued this for about 10 minutes until a knock was heard on the door and you jumped off of Billy right before it opened and Carol peeked in.

"(Y/n)? Oh- Hi Billy! Are you two alright? I heard (Y/n) tried the keg thing and ran off to the bathroom afterward." She explained, to which Billy nodded.

"That's true. Beat my ass big time in it. And now the little thing isn't feeling all too well."

Right as he said this, your stomach twisted in a way that made you jump up and hang your head over the toilet, emptying your stomach out into it like your life depended on it.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Masterlist:

#my stories #stranger things #billy hargrove #x reader #billy hargrove x reader

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keeperofthesunandmoon · 8 months

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Hey, anon who was asking about sending feedback here. Doing it not anon this time just to make any replies needed easier. Apologies in advance for the wall of text, I've tried to condense it, but I'm not the best at being concise. Also sorry if any of this has been brought up before.

First a couple technical issues I encountered. In chapter 7 I got the part about my mom taking care of me while sick, even though my parents were killed last chapter, then inversely when I went through again and saved them the dialogue option "“All my goodness died when he took my parents.” was available to choose.

Anyway onto the juicy stuff. So for the most part, I really liked the game so far, I thought it is a really good continuation of the story, and I'm definitely excited for more. But I obviously do have some notes, so here they are.

1) Being able to detect heartbeats isn't actually an accurate way of detecting bluffs (or lies in general). Heartrate raises if a person is excited or scared, and a good liar would be calm while lying. Plus with poker specifically, knowing your opponent is bluffing is only part of the equation, you still have to have a good hand, or be able to bluff yourself.

2) I feel like there should be the option to be opposed to control magic due to trauma rather than just general moral opposition, depending on the choices made. Like, at the very least, any MC unfortunate enough to have Julian Anderson as their birth father, probably has more reason to be averse to control magic than just "mind control bad cause it takes away free will".

On the same note, there are multiple instances where without player input, your character either uses control magic, considers using it, or sits there while someone else casually uses it. Which like, even trauma aside, if I’ve been picking all the “I think control magic is morally evil” options it seems weird my character would just casually use it to make someone forget a conversation, or be fine with their friends using it to get past airport security.

It also kinda sucks, for the above reasons, that in regards to the screening, your only options are let someone use control magic on you (whether or not you resist) or compel them first. Like I said, I feel like my MC would be very traumatized by the whole concept of control magic, and would very much not be on board with either of these options.

3) The jar of holy oil felt a bit like it came out of nowhere. Like I previously got the impression that holy oil was pretty hard to get your hands on, even for someone with the MCs connections, but then you just like have a jar of it in your bag I guess, no real explanation as to how it got there. Also IDK if this was intentional misdirection or not, so sorry in advance if it is, but because it’s first mentioned as an “unbreakable jam jar” directly after talking about the homemade snow globes (which are often made from jars), I thought the jam jar was the snow globe, up until you actually use it.

4)This one’s kind of a legacy issue from the previous games, so IDK how fixable it is at this point, but basically the game feels like it's in an odd situation when it comes to the MC, that I can best describe as being nonbinary inclusive, but trans exclusive. The game lets you choose the name/pronouns you want, but then the flashbacks just assume your character was still using the same ones back when they were a toddler (obviously there are people irl who do come out at a pretty young age, but, at least in my experience, that's the exception rather than the rule). Like obviously something to account for that could be added, but IDK if you can like update already published games, and if not adding it to the third game would probably introduce some weirdness, so IDK.

5) I’m confused as to what a “stereotypical drakaina” would be cause like a drakaina isn’t really like a thing in pop culture the same way something like angels and demons are, and the word itself is literally just the feminine form of the Ancient Greek word for dragon or serpent. Would it just be dressing up as a dragon? I realize this one's pretty nitpicky, I’m just confused.

6) In the dream sequence in chapter 8, the game seems to just like assume the MC and RO are able to have a biological kid together. I know that both it’s a dream sequence and also a setting with magic, so it’s not really a plot hole or anything per say, but I think taking that into mind, and maybe adding some text for situations where that might be in question, to explain that would be a good idea.

7) "…for the fact that the worst crime they’ve ever committed is jaywalking." I’m fairly certain forging a birth certificate is also a crime. /s

Thank you for the feedback! I've made some edits to earlier chapters based on it for next update

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eclipses-circus-trash · 6 months

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one of my friends didn't know what ygo sevens was so they asked me to horribly explain the main (or more common) characters to them

SO IMA TYPE IT UP HERE (it's kinda long also I do swear a lot so you've been warned)

Ygo Se7ens (horribly summarized)

First we have our protag, lil 11-yr old hacker midget that's also an engineer. 11-yr old midget has many friends, such as boy who loves dragons and talks to cards also really wants to be king someday. We also have student council president guy who's also a Japanese ninja samurai guy who's also a rapper. Or a dj, whatever way you see it i guess. Then there's guitar lady who's most likely a lesbian and makes blue and pink curry that explodes. Then the cousin of guitar lesbian is gay homophobic celebrity boy. As in holy fuck make up your mind ya little shit. Gay homophobic celebrity boy is the vocalist in the rock band that's literally just his and his cousin's names squashed together. Other members in the band are gay guy that needs to find a better boyfriend and guy who's name is legit "look behind you." Not joking. Gay guy that needs to get a better boyfriend has a crush on gay homophobic celebrity boy. Toxic yaoi mmmmmmmmm scrumptious. Then our favorite identity crisis boy, "look behind you," is literally the best i mean just look at him (the original thing was on paper and there was a drawing) he's probably nonbinary and maybe knows Latin and Japanese, you can fight me on this. Likes urban legends. Then we have the children presidents. Oldest one, speedy boi, drives a car. Very colors of aro. Second oldest, ocean boi talks to dolphins+other sea creatures and can play the ukulele. Lovely first middle child, female autistic baseball gigachad. Likes fire. Second middle child, kendo guy (big stick) beat the shit out of 25+ people with said big stick. Youngest (i think) child is queer (very queer) catboy who likes puppets and can make them too. Called our favorite 11-yr old hacker midget cute. Those bitches are gay. Good for them. EHEM. then there's chameleon boy! He's shy, and was befriended by dragon boy! Chameleon boy is so nic- wait a minute he's actually the last child president???? Turns out, chameleon boy is actually chameleon boy that got his memories sealed away until they came back and he started wiping everyone's memories. Then there's a nice little girl- wait no she's actually 37. Wears a sign that says "I am an adult," to bars and gets called a little girl all the time. Then there's providence programmer guy he has glasses, a god complex and his best friend is a sentient robotic massage chair. How lovely. Then we have lesbian lady, she gets called princess and she has a forklift (I'm sorry don't kill me Asana) named R6. R6 can talk. Okay well only lesbian lady understands R6 but that's besides the point. R6 is one of the best in the show because he roasted gay homophobic celebrity boy and simultaneously traumatized him but he deserves it. Then there's angry lady. Everything about her is strong, even her eyebrows. Especially her eyebrows. Lesbian lady and angry lady are lesbians for each other. Then there's bitch guy. Bitch guy is 6" 9 I'm not even joking I wish I was. Bitch guy gave gay homophobic celebrity boy ✨trust issues✨ when he was a child by not giving him a playing card. That led to gay homophobic celebrity boy blackmailing his cousin, lesbian guitar lady, so she could spy on 11-yr old hacker midget, dragon boy who talks to cards, and student council president/dj/ninja. 11-yr old hacker midget was actually the one that got the playing card.

And that's where where I stopped writing

I'll update this later when I have more of Ygo Se7ens (Horribly Summarized)

#ygo sevens #yugioh sevens #Not tagging the characters y'alls get to figure out who's who lmao

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desperate-daydream · 2 years

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👹 Stranger Things

❀ Byler (Will Byers x Mike Wheeler) ⚣︎

A/N: I just wanted some Byler fluff. Without hate or murder. Just everybody being happy.

tags/warnings: after season 4 so spoiler warning!, actually like after they killed off Vecna and won, Max is alive + in a wheelchair and blind (no sad, she's a badass queen), Eddie is alive too (getting cared for by Steve), El is happy and great, fluff, Will my bby is happy, they all just hang out at the Byers-Hopper-Home (it's a big cozy house), Steddie being Dustin's dads, Jonathan identifies as nonbinary and uses he/they

side ships: Jopper, Lumax, Dustin x Suzie (what's their ship-name??), Steddie, Ronance, Jargyle

They're what?!

It had been a quiet day at the Byers-Hopper-Home. Well, as quiet as it can get when you almost constantly have multiple teenagers and adults over.

It became a ritual that at least once or twice a week everybody would come around. They all had been through so much and especially Joyce and Steve were absolutely worried and panicking as soon as they hadn't heard from everyone the last few days.

So they would meet up, exchange stories from the last days and check if everyone was doing okay. They would order food or sometimes do a barbecue in the garden - the first time there had been a fire, definetly not including Hopper just wanting to take care of everything with Steve, Dustin and Argyle hovering around him (plus Jonathan trying to get their boyfriend away from the fire).

Today was one of those big check-in-days. Everyone was somewhere in the house or garden, doing things like talking while preparing food (Joyce, Nancy and Steve), checking out some new comics (Max, Lukas and El), nearly breaking something (Dustin, Eddie and Robbin) or making out (Jonathan and Argyle).

"Shouldn't Hopper and Murray be back by now?", Steve asked while checking the clock. "He's probably spotted something else that we 'definetly should try today'", Joyce answered mimiking her husbands voice while contuinuing to cut the pepper.

"I'm not gonna eat another one of those 'new various meat sticks'", Nancy clarified thinking back to the day Hopper had come home with two boxes of those things.

Joyce laughed. "Well, I gave these house ban so don't worry." "That doesn't promise that he won't buy some other new weird thing", Steve clarified. "Yeah", Joyce sighed, "I guess we'll just have to hope."

They contuinued chatting for a bit while finishing the vegetables. And soon they heard a "Come here, you little burglar!" coming from the living room plus laughter.

It was Eddie who just caught Dustin and tried to get his wallet back that the other had snatched from him to look at the photo of Steve that he kept in there.

"Naw, look at that", Dustin showed the photo to Robbin standing next to them and laughing her ass off. "The lightning and everything. He looks like a god. And is that a heart you drew there?", Dustin contuinued while still struggling to get out of Eddie's grasp.

Steve quickly went to end their little fight, not without a small blush at the things Dustin had just screamed technically for the whole house to hear. "Come on Eds, stop suffocating our child."

The hair, as they still jockingly called him, finally managed to sepperate them and directed his boyfriend to the sofa. "Sit down, your wounds are still not fully healed." "Only a few on my stomach", the metal head protested.

"And what about your knee?", Steve began massaging just that and gave him a knowing look at the small hiss. "I just don't want you overstraining and hurt yourself", Steve softly wispers before leaning in to kiss Eddie.

An "Ew" came from Robbin and her best friend shot her the finger before remarking: "As if you're not just hanging at your girlfriend's lips right now."

"Actually not", Nancy said, "She's hanging at my neck right now." "Thanks for defending me, babe", Robin grinned looking up." "Always", the other woman anwered before kissing her.

That was a sign for Steve to have his turn on the "Ew" and both Nancy and Robbin to give him the silent anwer. The other three just laughed at the scene, Joyce shaking her head at the teenagers.

"Man, now I miss Suzie even more", Dustin pouted. "Naw, if you want we can sing the song for you", Steve said grinning getting ready to sing. "Nooo!"

Meanwhile El and Lukas were taking turns at reading the new comic they had just found to Max. El read the dialogue and partly described the scenery while Lukas jumped in at the whoosh's and kapow's making Max laugh every time.

When they were finished El put down the comic and leaned next to Max who had gotten out of her wheelchair to sit on El's bed. Lukas was already sprawled out on the floor looking up at them.

"Sooo El, tell me", Max started, "What's that now with you and Mike?" El was confused for a second. "Me and Mike?" "Yeah, I mean. What happened? Are you in a fight? Did you dump him again, or what?", Max asked excitedly.

"No, we're not and I didn't. We're just not together anymore." "Wait, really?!", Max and Lukas simultaneously gasped. "Yeah", El shrugged, Max feeling the movement on her shoulder. "Okay, why?"

"We just both came to the conclusion it would be the best. I'm actually not really ready for a relationship since I'm partly still trying to figure out who I am."

"Mhm, understandable. And what did Mike say?", Max contuinued her investigation while Lukas had his eyes closed still laying on the floor but also attentively listening.

"Well, he totaly understood that and said he too had just recently figured something out about himself and not liking girls. It actually was what I kind of assumed and hoped for with him and Will. I mean the way the way they have always looked at each other, it's kind of obvious. So, we decided to stay friends and that's basicly it."

It was quiet for a few seconds before Max started again. "Okay, wait, what do you mean with him and Will, what were you hoping for?"

"Will and Mike like each other. They're together now. That's what I was kind of hoping for because I had noticed how much Will was hurt by seeing us. He's so happy now."

Lukas shot up: "Mike and Will are dating?! How can I not know that two of my best friends are in a relationship?!"

"Oh my god, it really is obvious if you think about it", Max whispered. Then louder to Lukas: "Well, you're really oblivious. Especially with your friends."

"Because I'm trusting them to trust and tell me when something's up", her boyfriend countered.

"Oh, do you think they maybe didn't want other people to know?", El asked concern in her voice. "We'll just ask them", the red head said at that, "Help me get in my wheelchair and then we'll get to Will's room. That's where they are, right?" "I guess so."

After a moment they got out of El's room and went down the floor. But before they got to Will's room they made a stop at Jonathan's.

After knocking shortly they opened the door to find Jonathan and Argyle hanging on each others lips. "Get a room you two." "You are literally in my room. What do you want?", Jonathan said looking at them.

"Did you know that Will and Mike are dating?", Max asked straight up. "Yeah, why?" "We didn't know", Lukas exclaimed. "Well, Will was so happy and releaved and I just came to the conclusion. So I asked him and he said yes. Soo, will you leave now?"

"Alright", El turned but then faced her brother one more time, "Don't you have the three inches rule too?" "Oh, shut up and get out", he said, "And close the door." El just laughed at that and maybe left it open a little bit.

They eventually got to Will's room and knocked again before barking in. Will was sitting on his carpet. Art utensils splattered around him. His sketch book in his lap with a picture he was just working on.

He quickly put his finger to his lips. "Shhh, he's been sleeping for the last thirty minutes", the boy pointed at Mike sound asleep on his bed. He had his raven hair open and a few strands fell in his face while one of his arms dangled of the bed.

"You drew him?", El asked getting closer and looking over her brothers shoulder. "Yeah, he hasn't moved at all and he strated silently snoring too. It's so funny." A small giggle left the boys lips.

"We actually wanted to ask you both something", Max said getting back to the reason they came there. "What is it?"

"Well I kind of told them you were dating-", El started and was cut off by Lukas, "And we want to know if that's true." "And also if it's okay that I told them", El said shooting a small glare at Lukas.

"Oh, yeah, we are. And it's okay you told them", Will answered smiling widely even though there was a small worry of not getting accepted that he quickly brushed off again.

"Why didn't you tell us?", Lukas asked a bit offended. "Well, we figured it would be obvious from time to time and we didn't want to shout it out."

In the meantime the livingroom-group had went upstairs and was now standing behind the three teenagers in Will's doorway.

"Hey, Hopper and Murray should be back any minute and we're finished too", Nancy said. "What's up in here?", Steve asked with suspicion.

Lukas turned to Dustin: "Did you know they were dating?" His friend looked at him confused. "Who?" "Mike and Will", Lukas gestured wildly between the two boys - one still inocently sitting at his carpet with his sister now perched next to him and the other still slightly snoring.

"Whaaaaat? Really?" Dustin wasn't the only one with a surprised look on his face. "Oh that little shit, he didn't tell me", Nancy remarked while Robbin just gave a nod and grin at Will who returned that. Steve got out a confused "What?" just like Dustin.

"Well I knew that mini-Byers had something for mini-Wheeler", Eddie said leaning on his boyfriend, "I just didn't know they were actually dating."

"They're what?!", echoed from behind them. Everybody equally scared for a second turned around to see Hopper, Joyce and Murray standing there. It was Hopper who had just screamed.

Will was the first one to turn away because his boyfriend had been startled by the loud exclamation and now satup halfway, a confused sleepy look on his face. "What?", he asked his eyes squinting and trying to figure out, why everyone was standing in one room.

"Noo", Will whined, "Why did you have to wake him up. Not even my sketch was finished." That got a second "What?" from Mike that Will just waved off with a small blush.

Hopper turned to his wife standing next to him. "Did you know that?" "Of course I knew. I'm his mother. He didn't even have to tell me for me to know."

"And why didn't you tell me?", he asked her. "Because I knew that you would want to strangle Mike." The boy instinctively sild back a bit at the mention of that.

Murray just stood there. He had by far probably known the longest that the two boys had feelings for each other and if they wouldn't have managed to sort it out themselves he would have Murray'ed them soon.

"Yeah, no shit", Hopper said now before turning back to Mike, "Why always my kids, Wheeler?!" Mike looked at him with big eyes, his still half asleep brain trying to comprehend what was happening. "U-uh, sorry", he muttered out.

Meanwhile El and Will were sitting on the floor trying to surpress their laughter before bursting into giggles at the situation happening.

Mike being sulky said "Thanks for your back-up" to his boyfriend. "I'm s-sorr-rry", Will got out through his giggles, "It's just-" That's when another wave of laughter hit them and the two siblings dubbled over again.

"Did y- did you see-he-he his face-", El got out before bursting once more and Will actually fell over, happy that his carpet was so big.

Mike looked away at the others: "I feel slightly insulted right now." "Oh, you should feel more than slightly insulted", Hopper said pointing at him. Joyce just calmly put a hand on his arm. "Come on leave the boy alone. We have a barbecue to do."

One after one left the room. Their friends kind of gratulated Will and Mike while Will still laughed. But that eventually died down too. El whiped the tears from her eyes before standing up. "I'm gonna leave you two now too. Bye." She even closed the door fully behind her.

Mike got up from the bed and went over to his boyfriend still laying on the floor. "Have you laughed enough about me now?", Mike tried to stay insulted but the grin on Will's face made him forget everything.

He sat down and then grabbed the other's hands to pull him into a sitting position too. "You're happy", he remarked whiping some of the laughing tears from his boyfriend's beautiful face.

His hands stayed on Will's slowly blushing cheeks. "Is that bad?", he asked slightly nuzzling into Mike's palm. "No it's great. You're great." Will smiled wholeheartedly at him before gripping his shirt and yanking him forward.

Their lips met in a soft kiss and it felt like little fireworks exploded in their stomach's making the boys giddy. One of Will's hands went up to grip into the dark strands and he let out a small moan at the feeling of Mike's tongue.

After another moment they parted slowly and leaned their foreheads together slightly panting.

"I love you, William Byers."

"I love you, Michael Wheeler."

They giggled before going into the next kiss.

#byler #will x mike #fanfic #fluff #side pairings #lumax #jopper #steddie #jargyle #byers hopper family #stranger things

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m00nj3w3l · 15 days

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VERY long rant sorry

Ever since I came out to myself as a lesbian life has made sure I'm as miserable as ever. I costantly hear stories of people actually coming to terms with their identity being such a freeing and wonderful thing while for me it has been the exact opposite.

I've gone through it all, I identified as bi first, then lesbian for some time but it didn't stick cus I had insane comphet in 2020, then bisexual nonbinary/agender for some time in 2021, then sapphic, up until I realised I'm legit just a fucking lesbian again and decided to stick to it, and yet I've never felt SO fucking tired even when going through all the different phases.

My mom doesn't even wanna say the word cus to her it sounds "bad/dirty". My dad, who I'm not out to, is the most classic cishet white dude on Earth who doesn't even know the difference between being gay and being trans and I know that if I ever made clear that I'm not interested in men he'd go on a rant about how I'm probably just scared of them, that I'm doing this for the trend.

Last close friend I had, bisexual dude who SEEMED to respect it, rambled about how unfortunate it is that I won't have sex with him because of this and then got offended that I didn't forgive him. Ok.

I hate to say this cus it makes me sound self-centered too, but men in general have started to hit on me more and it scares me when any of them stop me to ask me anything cus Idk when they're ACTUALLY asking for something or just looking for an excuse to try and get me. When I told my friend (bi girl) that this is a legit concern of mine, she said "well, you can just say you're gay and leave it at that" and I didn't reply cus I knew she meant well, but I don't think she understands that that doesn't work. Men either see it as an excuse from you cus you find them "ugly" and so you need convincing, OR you are to be fixed.

Around three weeks ago I hung out with said friend, she presented me two of her gay friends and when I said I'm lesbian one of them went "oh I couldn't tell, you really don't look the part" (UGHHH) while the other, older dude, went on a rant about how he used to make fun of lesbians and call them disgusting 20 years ago and how I'm "too cool" to be one. When I addressed it to my friend, she said he probably felt comfortable saying that cus he has found a community with that friend group, but how tf is it a community if I'm treated as a punchline and invalidated cus I don't fit the stereotype enough?

I keep on being told to find community but I, quite frankly, don't know where to go. I already live in a country that hates our guts, but if even the small amount of other queer people I know don't care or see me as valid atp I'd say I'm better off pretending I never came to accept my sexuality and just go play the role of cishet girl for the rest of my life.

#sometimes when i leave the house i see younger girls holding hands and being affectionate and it makes me wanna cry so bad #i've started to read more books and manga by lesbian authors too and it always seems like I'm just doing things wrong? but what is it?#how come all of them SOMEHOW find at least a tiny bit of happiness while I'm costantly stuck here #i'm tired. so so tired #moon likes to rambletm #lesbian

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imadethisblogfor1post · 4 years

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What is gender? Please send help

Content warning: ignorance about transgender issues, discussion of sexism, well-meaning-ally-who-doesn’t-quite-get-it-ism. Callouts welcome and encouraged.

I want to start by saying that despite my profound lack of understanding about what gender is, I don’t want to invalidate anyone. I want so badly to be a supportive ally to trans and nonbinary folks, and at first I did a lot of reading to try to understand, but no matter how much I read, I stayed confused. So eventually, I gave up. After all, I don’t have to have a deep understanding of an identity to know that people are deserving of respect. If calling someone a particular name or using a particular set of pronouns will help them know that I love and respect them, then of course, of course, I will do that. Nothing I am about to say changes that.

The only problem is, not understanding makes it really hard to call out bigotry, because I don’t always see it. This post was triggered by a recent transphobic tweetstorm by JK Rowling, and I think I get why most of those were bad, but with some I’m still more sympathetic than I’m comfortable with. This continues a trend I’ve seen for a while: some of the most helpful pieces of reading material have been posts from radical feminists that I found myself nodding along to, only to find that the point of the post my friend was sharing was the attached comment and call-out. These served as huge wake-up calls, but it still wasn’t enough to explain to me what I wasn’t getting. More than that, even after the call outs, even after knowing that some of the points of the original post were transphobic, I sometimes can’t help feeling that some part of it rang true. Therefore, my problems as an ally come in two parts. One, I deeply lack the understanding to call out bigotry in others and myself, and two, there are some real conflicts between the feminism I subscribe to and certain aspects of trans ideology (ideology is not a good word to use here, but I’m at a loss for what else to call it)(sorry).

I’ll start with the second— it’s the worse one anyhow. The crux of the problem is this: there are distinct consequences to being assigned female at birth. We are treated differently, we are socialized differently, and no matter how progressive your parents are, it’s impossible to completely escape. Put simply, cis women and trans women do not experience 100% the same types of oppression. This is not to say either experiences more or less pain, this is not to say either is more or less deserving of support, this is not to say that we as feminists should not strive to be intersectional (we should). All I am saying is that inclusion cannot come at the expense of erasing or silencing the experiences of people who were assigned female at birth.

I have a few specific concerns on this matter - these are the points that make me sympathetic to radical feminism (even when I see them called terfs, as ashamed as I am to admit it).

One, we need to be allowed to use words about female anatomy without being called terfs. It’s not okay to exclude people and imply that all women have uteri and all people with uteri are women, but it needs to be okay to talk about uteri.This one comes up less often, but when it does come up I find myself extremely indignant. I am sincerely sorry that talking about anatomy triggers dysphoria, but in a world where female anatomy is treated as inherently explicit, and people have been silenced in legislative settings simply for using those anatomical terms, we can’t afford to be silenced within our own communities.

Two, it’s not okay to shout people down for how they experience attraction. I really shouldn’t have to say this, but too often I’ve seen lesbians pressured or called transphobic for not being interested in being with someone with a penis. It’s not uncommon for lesbians to experience compulsory attraction to men before recognizing their sexuality. That, combined with the prevalence of sexual violence against women and people who are assigned female at birth, makes me extremely skeptical of anyone whose response to rejection is to attempt to shame them into changing their mind. Again, I’m sorry, and it sucks that it causes dysphoria, but no one is entitled to anyone else’s attraction. It is not okay to pressure anyone else into a relationship or sex, regardless of the circumstances. I myself am gray-ace and panromantic - suffice to say I don’t really get how being attracted to genitals works, but if that’s how it works for them, then that’s how it works for them. If we need different words for “hi I’m attracted to the gender of woman” and “hi I’m attracted to female anatomy” then so be it, but honestly people probably shouldn’t have to disclose that much information right out the gates, and both should be allowed to call themselves lesbians. There’s a balance to be struck here, but I’m sick of seeing lesbians alienated for this, and it needs to be addressed.

Three, there need to be spaces for people who were assigned female at birth, without people who were assigned male at birth (unless they are invited as a guest). As mentioned above, sexual and gender based violence against AFAB people is incredibly common. A lot of us have trauma around it. We need spaces where we can talk about those experiences without being shouted down, the same way trans people need spaces to talk about their experiences. This is a bit of a slippery slope - obviously there need to be intersectional spaces as well, and it’s not okay to exclude people, as long as everyone is being respectful. But it’s important to make space for all of us, and understand that our experiences are not uniformly the same.

I’m not sure why this has been such an issue. Some part of me that I hate to acknowledge suggests that part of the problem is that people who are assigned male at birth tend to be more entitled than people who are assigned female at birth, simply because that’s how they were taught and socialized when they were younger, but that brings up a whole slew of other issues, and I’d hate to paint with too broad a brush. Perhaps it’s just that the fight for inclusion needs to be fierce and thorough, and any space where one isn’t included is treated as an attack, even if that isn’t the intent. No matter the reason, we need to understand that we are not all the same, and that’s not a bad thing.

In a roundabout way, this brings me to my other barrier to being a good ally: I just don’t *get* gender. It’s not that I haven’t tried. As I mentioned early on in this post, when I first realized how much I didn’t understand about gender I did so much reading. I watched videos. I listened to podcasts. I went to a workshop (though truth be told the workshop did more harm than good). And what I got is this: it sounds like there’s a common experience, some strong internal certainty that composes gender identity, that says “I am a woman”, or “I am a man”, or “I am neither”, as the case may be. I have never felt this certainty. There is no emotion that tells me I am a woman, there is no internal compass, there is no sense of “no, that’s not right” when I imagine myself as a man, except a sense of unfamiliarity with the idea. As far as I’m concerned, I’m a woman because that’s what I’ve always been, and that’s how I’ve always been treated. It would be odd to use he/him pronouns for me because no one’s ever done that, and it would cause confusion, but that’s about the end of my issue with it.

This is, of course, directly in conflict with much of the narrative around gender these days. There must be something I’m missing, but I can never seem to pin down what gender actually *is* and every analogy and metaphor seems to confuse me even more.

Gender must not be biological sex, because trans people exist. Nonbinary people exist. Both are valid, and for all that I’m not a very good ally, I know that much.

Gender must not be personality traits, because, that’s personality. There are people on all areas of the gender spectrum with all types of personality traits. Don’t tell me that women can’t be brash, that men can’t be sweet.They are.

Gender must not be how you dress, because hey, we should all be able to dress however we want! How you dress doesn’t change your identity. (This part is gender expression though I think, if I’ve followed the articles correctly) Butch women exist, feminine men exist, androgynous people exist, all are valid.

Gender must not be gender roles, because honestly, fuck that. Gender roles are a tool of patriarchal oppression, and I’m not about to sit here and that be all there is to gender identity. If it helps you feel more at home in your skin then more power to ya, but that can’t be all there is.

So then, what is it? What is left? This isn’t a rhetorical question. I have genuinely tried to find answers to this and I have never been more lost. When I went to the trans allyship workshop mentioned above, I was told by the others at my table that to them being a woman was being nurturing, valuing family, being empathetic, being a caretaker. I was so relieved that we ran out of time before it was my turn. I don’t know what being a woman is to me, it’s just what I’ve always been. The only thing it has ever meant was shame about my body, shame about my period, enduring r*pe jokes and kitchen jokes from my guy friends, always having to be the one to “seduce the guard” when we played d&d, and other, darker things I don’t want to mention. It’s only ever been painful, and fearful, and ashamed. On the one hand, it means I’m inclined to believe trans women when they say that gender isn’t a choice— after all, who would choose this? But on the other, I know there must be more to this, something that I’m missing because my identity is too deeply rooted in oppression. I am ripping those roots out one by one, but they go deep, and I’m scared that without them I won’t have any point of reference left.

I want to understand gender, but even if I never do, I will always respect the identity and pronouns that people claim as their own. It is never my intent to dehumanize, or exclude. I want to be able to call out bigotry, I want to be able to stand up for my trans and nonbinary friends, I want to be sure that I don’t say something to them that causes them harm.

But at its core: I don’t get it. What is gender? What makes a gender what it is?

Again, this is non-rhetorical. If you have the time and energy, I welcome any information, any resources, any anecdotes, anything at all to help me understand. I’ve looked, hard, but I won’t pretend to have read anywhere near the full lexicon of literature on this subject. If I’ve said something that upset or angered you, please don’t hesitate to call me out. Yell at me, if that’s what this post inspires, and I’ll do my best to learn from it, or at the very least maybe it will serve as a wake-up call for someone else. Or, if you agree, I’d be grateful to know that too. It can get pretty lonely feeling like there’s some manual to gender that everyone else has that somehow I never got.

TL;DR: What is gender? I want to learn but I’m hella lost and struggling to be both a trans ally and a radical feminist, and I was so afraid of offending anyone that I literally made a blog just for this post, which is silly because I don’t even really use my main blog. I just know that if you’re looking for callouts, this is where you go.

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ventura-starlight · 3 years

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HAIKYUU AND ROMCOM MOMENTS

This idea popped in my head so randomly tbh but I liked it so here we are. I am going to probably write a part 2 for this so if you have any ideas let me know!! I hope you enjoy this :D for kuroo's there is a mention of a child so I looked up a gender-neutral parental term! If this isn't a correct term or maybe there is a better one please let me know! I used Nopa which has been used as a combination of Nonbinary parent

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY: t.oikawa

Years of running into one another. Things always seemed to be getting in the way but for Torū Oikawa, he knew this was his only chance to prove himself. Running into a New Year's Eve Party, spotting them there, he knew this was his last try.

Y/N fumed, smoke could have been billowing out of their ears at this point. What right does he have being here?

"Y/N I have been doing a lot of thinking and the thing is, I'm in love with you"

"What?"

"I love you" he repeated, sweat gathering on his hands.

"How do you expect me to respond to that?" Y/N asked stunned, He really has the nerve?

"How about you love me too," he stated matter of factly

As Torū attempted to get closer to them, Y/N gathered their things, turned to him, and said,

"How about I'm leaving?"

Shocked, he followed them towards the door, "Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?!"

"I'm sorry Torū, I know it's New Year's Eve, I know you're lonely, but you can't just show up here, tell me you love me, and expect that to make everything okay. It doesn't work this way." Y/N said turning into the crowd, tears welling in their eyes.

He ran a frantic hand through his hair, frustrated "Well, how does it work?!"

"I don't know but not this way," Y/N shouted over the cheers that reigned in the new year.

"Well, how about this way?" Torū paused, "I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich! I love that you get this little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night."

He continued, "And it's not cause I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Torū's heart was practically in his feet. The blood throughout his entire body felt like it was rushing to his face and temples. Dizzy, he felt dizzy. In love, in hate, in frustration, all of it,

"You see-" Y/N began, their voice sounding watery, "That is just like you Torū! You say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you!"

A smirk crept its way onto Oikawa's lip as he watched them ramble on, "I hate you Torū, I really hate you" Y/N's voice began to crack.

Pulled together almost instantaneously, their lips touched. Fire and passion, hatred and love, tieing them together. Maybe for the first time in years, love could be something good. The first time the pair had met, they hated each other, then they forgot one another. The 3rd time they had met they became friends.

And the next time? They fell in love.

Pretty good ending right?

50 FIRST DATES: t.kuroo

Waking up in a start a sense of urgency coursed through their blood. Y/N expected to wake up in their own bed. It was their Father's birthday today and yet, Y/N was out at sea.

Now that was no exaggeration, they turned to look out a circular window, seeing a seemingly endless amount of crystal water and huge ice glaciers. They wanted to scream but as they turned they found a VHS tape with the title, "Good morning Y/N" on it. Who honestly uses a VHS anymore Y/N may never know. Cautiously they picked it up and put it into the VHS player in front of them. Sitting back they were confronted with their favorite song playing in the background.

Clips flashed to show a news article, detailing a wreck that had occurred a few years ago. A stray animal had jumped into the road, causing Y/N to have apparently swerved their car into a tree. This accident caused Y/N to have a loss of every memory that would happen during or after the accident.

Tears welled into their eyes as they kept watching. Y/N couldn't have ever imagined this occurring to them. The screen changed to one of their friends back home, smiling and laughing. Suddenly a Rooster headed man, a large smile on his face appeared and shared a kiss with Y/N on the video. Y/N couldn't truly wrap their head around it but it made their heart skip a beat when they looked into this man's eyes.

"Will you Kuroo Tetsuro take Y/N to be your lawfully wedded partner, to have and to hold, from this day forth, for as long as you both shall live?" Looking up a startled Y/N ran a hand across their face, the glint of a ring sitting on their finger confirming what they had seen on the T.V.

"I do," Kuroo smiled lovingly, the officiant making jokes about his own marriage to this distaste of his wife who was in the seats at the ceremony. Y/N laughed slightly at that, a sense of familiarity blossoming in their chest.

Y/N and Kuroo shared a kiss making the marriage official.

As Y/N looked around she heard Kuroo's voice from the T.V. "It's very cold outside so when you're ready put on a jacket and come have breakfast with me. Love ya"

Tightly wrapping a coat around themselves, Y/N walked up the rocking steps of the boat to the upper deck.

"Hey! Good morning Mx. Kuroo. Would you like to meet your daughter?" He said softly, learning a long time ago that being too energetic would scare Y/N in the morning. Y/N smiled and nodded softly.

"Go say hello to Nopa," Kuroo encouraged as a sweet little girl came up to Y/N. She has similar features to Y/N but her hair was just like her father's.

"Hi Nopa." Y/N scooped her up in their arms, Kuroo leaned over pressing a kiss to Y/N's lips. Teary eyes all Y/N could say was "Oh my goodness" and laugh softly.

"Grandpa is here," Kuroo said, and Y/N waved to their father smiling.

Dreams really do come true.

I hope you are all taking care of yourselves <333 love you lots

@sarahcameronss @risjime @zanomanji @rintah0e

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dreamboypieces · 2 years

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I am very deeply considering about coming out to everyone in my life soon and finally being known as a Nonbinary person publicly! (a rare personal update)

It's all been sorta spurred by my recent hair change. Tonight I dyed my hair red for the second time -- the first time was the first summer after me, my siblings, and my mom were finally able to get away from my dad. I originally was thinking of just making a post on my private personal account reserved for friends, lightheartedly comparing how different I look now to when I dyed my hair for the first time. However, it made me think about how that first time was probably also the biggest step I took in reclaiming my autonomy & my control over my appearance, and eventually that line of thought evolved into my journey as a queer person. How that was such a big leap in confidence for me and it made me realize how detrimental it is that I live truthfully whenever I can.

BASICALLY I want to use this as an excuse to finally say, loudly and proudly, that I am Nonbinary! To EVERYONE! The last time I had red hair it was a milestone of healing, and of progress in my advocacy for myself. After nearly 6 years, its red again. And I feel like this is such a prime opportunity to open myself up and really DELIVER for my 15 year old self. It's like she took that first step back then, and now it's my turn to make good on the investment and take the big step, which would be to stop pushing this to the side and finally own my identity. On my own terms this time, since I never got to come out as Bi. Its a mildly complicated story, but basically I was outed in a very dangerous way to my father bc of the internet. I had dreamed every day of the time when I would get to share that side of me with my family, only to have it weaponized before I even knew what was going on. After being heartbroken and crying for years about that moment being stolen from me, I'm so overjoyed at the thought of getting a second chance.

I am a tad worried though. I'm worried about the mental and emotional energy that may come with having to explain (what little I feel like explaining) and answer questions that may or may not be asked with a genuine desire to listen to my answer. I'm worried abt the possiblity of coming out and losing the love or comfort I have with some of my favorite people. Im worried about having to stand up to them & cut ties if it comes to it. I don't know. I know that the people who react with disrespect don't deserve me or my energy anyways, but I also know it's going to hurt regardless if it comes to it. Being bi (which I have been public about for years) is different than being trans/enby. It's just not as widely accepted yet, bc it's not as easy to ignore. There's still so much unchecked transphobia out there, and I just hope that none of the people who claimed to support me decide that being trans is where they draw the line.

That all being said, I am setting rules for myself. I am absolutely not going to defend my identity for anyone. I am not going to try to convince people or do an overhaul on their belief system. If anyone dms me with questions or their two cents, and they challenge me or try to debate, I'm putting a full stop to it & they can decide for themselves whether they're gonna continue to make an ass of themselves and get ignored/blocked, or whether they're going to be more respectful in their misunderstanding & do their own work to listen, understand, and learn. I really have no interest in trying to prove that I'm worthy of decent treatment, nor do I have any interest in staying in contact with someone who wants to police me like that. The last person in my life to do that was my dad, and I haven't seen or spoken to him since... God. Probably since I was 16. So yeah. Basically, I'm not new to being scrutinized & I'm obviously not willing to put up with it.

TL;DR: a recent hair change has made me incredibly nostalgic and reignited my motivation to advocate for my truest self. I'm planning on making a public Instagram post for my family, family friends, and old friends where I'll come out as Nonbinary, and despite being very anxious about it for a lot of reasons, I've decided that anyone who fucks around will, in fact, find out (via cutting ties).

Anyways. If you read all of that, thank you. If you have any advice, coming out stories, or kind words, I'd appreciate them. I'll definitely update when/If I work up the courage to do this, and as a parting note, I'd like to say that I've discovered that red is definitely my color ❤️

#lgbtq+#queer #Nonbinary #coming out #self love #healing #personal post #vent #og

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anchoviesinthenightsky · 2 years

Note

From being in my safe space of anon on my safe space blog, do you have any tips for coming out if you’re out? You’re the oldest internet queer I know

Oof, yeah. So the truest thing I can tell you is that you will always be in some stage of coming out, simply by the fact that straight/cis people have an unfortunate habit of assuming all people are straight and/or cis. "Coming out" doesn't have a neat little bow where it will done and everyone will know that you are queer.

Once I realized that, coming out became... a lot less pressure and there was less of a rush to it too.

I think, okay I have four pieces of advice:

1. Have a sense of why you want to come out (or why you would rather not). The first person I came out to was my best friend in high school, and I came out because being queer didn't feel like I think I could hold on my own any more. I needed someone else to know.

When I came out to my parents a few years later, it was because I needed them to stop assuming my future was going to be marrying a guy.

So your reasons could be anything from wanting the euphoria of being gendered properly to wanting to talk about the people you have crushes on with your friends. Whatever the reason is, it can guide your coming out and also give the people that you're coming out to an actionable thing that allows them to support you.

2. Consider how the people you're telling might feel. Listen, some people are going to celebrate when you tell them that you're queer. Other people will have trouble processing it. If someone you love is having a hard time accepting your identity (and I mean like, they are sort of grieving the person they thought you were, or maybe they're just confused), be compassionate toward them. And also make sure that you have space to step back and unwind.

Being ace, often times my coming outs include a lot of of education of what asexuality is. It's really emotionally draining to have to come out and then explain your existence. So just like... mentally prepare for the people who might need explanations or who may say "well I always imagined your future to be [straight/cis]." Those feelings belong to those people, not to you. They have to work through their own feelings, and it's not your responsibility to do it for them. (But also be compassionate and honest with them. These are people that you love probably, so do what makes sense to you)

3. Your identity is your business. You don't owe anyone an explanation of your gender/sexuality. The main reason queer people are asked to "come out" is because straight and cis people make assumptions about us, our bodies, and the way we love. So in that vein, you don't need to tell anyone who you don't want to tell.

For example, my coworkers don't know my gender, but they call me Eli. I may come out to them in the future (or they'll figure it out when I ask for them to use a different set of pronouns than they have been), but for right now, they don't need to know that I'm nonbinary. They just need to know I'm Eli.

4. Please please please ONLY come out if it is SAFE to do so. If you think your parents might kick you out, if you think a friend will out you, if you think some sort of physical or mental harm will come your way due to coming out-- don't do it. Or at least don't do it know, wait until you're older and you have your own space/ your own income. Like I said earlier, queer life is a series of coming outs so there's no rush to any of this.

and just a last thought-- coming out for me has never a celebration, but I wish it had been (and I hope it will be in the future). If you can make it a celebration, go for it. Your identity (and the process of having figured it out) is cause for celebration.

And, regardless of if you come out soon or years down the road-- know that I am so proud of you. I'm proud of you for figuring out your identity. I am impressed by your bravery of trying to figure out this process and asking for advice when you feel unsure about something. I think you are doing a wonderful job, and I hope that if/when you come out, it goes smoothly and your identity is celebrated and that the people you tell validate you in all the ways you hope to be validated <3

#ask box #and also im just one queer person with a single set of experiences #there are definitely lots of other queer people online who have answered/ made videos on this exact topic #so id also encourage you to search those resources out too. bc having a different perspective can be really useful!

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imagine-that · 3 years

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hii i was wondering if i could get a golden trio era ship? i’m 5’5, a gemini, isfp personality type and i’m slytherin. i have really short (slightly longer than a buzzcut) that’s dirty blonde and hazel eyes. i have a slightly chubby figure (147 lbs) and light freckles. i’m sarcastic, pessimistic, and introverted but if u get to know me i’m a huge chatterbox, i also really value quality time (with friends or other), i really like animals, astrology, and baking :) i also love nostalgia and nostalgic feelings, i’m also nonbinary and go by they/them :3

(this requester later asked to have marauders instead, just a little back info before y'all come at me for going with Marauders instead of golden trio!)

Hiiiii!!!! of course you can, thank you for requesting <3

Based on the provided information, I ship you with....

Marlene Mckinnon!

at first you're a little apprehensive because Marlene is... A LOT

She insists you come with her to bother the marauders when you guys first meet

You just kind of stared at her for a minute in surprise because she was dragging a stranger to go pester her friends with her

still it definitely intrigued you enough for you to go ahead with it

The marauders were more than surprised to see Marlene with a slytherin but they didn't think it meant any harm

then the two of you started bugging them and making fun of them and they were absolutely baffled

Remus was speechless

Marlene was practically on the floor laughing

She started hanging around you more and more after that

But when she developed feelings she was definitely very blunt about it

Literally no beating around the bush or big deal made

she walked right up to you in the hall as usual and just very VERY casually said "oh yeah and just so you know I fancy you" and walked off to her table for breakfast

meanwhile you were trying to process the words that just came out of her mouth

She will 100% come back to you later and be like "so? It's not like there's THAT much to think about, do you fancy me too or no?"

And you say yes

She loves how much you talk when you're with all your friends

I'm sorry but she will most definitely make jokes about how much taller than you she is (Even though Marlene is only like 5'7" IF that)

When she's actually laying still, she loves tracing all of your freckles with her fingers and tickling your face like that to hear you laugh

You watch and cheer her on at quidditch

but if it's against Slytherin, you'll very much get sarcastic about your cheering (as a joke, she knows you're kidding)

One day you guys will be hanging out in the courtyard and see 4 animals (you can see where I'm going with this....)

You go over and start petting them and talking to them and trying to get Marlene to come over and do the same

She lasts about 20 seconds but when you bend down to pet the black dog's belly she absolutely LOSES IT laughing

After that she makes the Marauders tell you their secret

You’re not as surprised as she thought you’d be but she figured it’s probably due to who you’re talking about (the mischievous boyos)

She often steals the map from them to take you out on random adventures

Sometimes it will be with just you two, other times Lily and Dorcas tag along

And it’s usually stuff that McGonnagall would 100000% kill you all for

Like going to the forbidden forest for fun

Or using it to stalk Snape and bug him (this is after the Lily and him incident)

Which, by the way, you 100% have to calm Marlene down after

Because when she hears about it she’s ready to skin him alive

She has a hot head so you have to try and take her out of the equation for a while while she cools down

She may be sarcastic too but Marlene is a ray of sunshine 100% so she contrasts your personality pretty well

She "nuh uh!"'s your pessimistic ideas or thoughts most of the times and tries to show the bright side

She insists you teach her how to bake and it is MESSY

you feel like you're baking with a child but you're laughing the whole time

And the baking works out because you always have at least one batch of something to share with all of your friends

She likes going on nature walks with you, particularly at night when you can listen to the animals and watch the stars

she tries to smuggle plenty of animals into Hogwarts for your birthdays or anniversary's over the years (THAT McGonagall puts a stop to immediately)

(Secretly though, McGonagall ships you two more than literally anyone else)

The Marauders are the biggest stans for your relationship ever

They definitely fangirl whenever they see the two of you doing anything remotely romantic

If you two kiss in their presence, Sirius 100% makes James catch him as he “faints”

Marlene and you both always have sarcastic and witty responses in your back pocket for those instances though

She repeatedly asks what her signs are and what they mean and what her horoscope looks like

Not because she forgets though

just because she loves hearing you repeating stuff you're passionate about

She will be talking to the Marauders or Lily or Dorcas and she usually refers to their signs (even if she accidentally says the wrong one) for a reason to their behavior to show off her knowledge from you

If anyone dares to disrespect your pronouns or identity, she corrects them the first time VERY blatantly and strictly out of benefit of the doubt

But after that, all bets are off

She earns plenty of detentions for "defending your honor" as she calls it

so do your friends

And she always immediately runs back to you to check up on you about it afterwards

She really wants you to know that she cares and that she want to listen to anything you want to talk about

If it happens to upset you she likes to set something up to cheer you up

once she sets up a giant fort in the gryffindor common room

another time she uses magic to build a playground in the courtyard

basically anything that might feel nostalgic for you, she tries to do it if she wants to cheer you up or just make you happy

She wants you to know she's always there

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unambiguouslybi · 3 years

Note

Hello! I hope you're doing pleasant today, or tonight- or afternoon- or noon? And Happy Pride!! 🎉🎉🎉

So I'm kinda nervous about talking about this mostly because I feel like I'm disappointing my family again hHHh (I came out to being Bisexual last month and they've just been in denial and it's like it didn't happen-)

But it's just that I was born female and that's okay, but on some days I feel very masculine and want to be addressed and represented as such

My friend suggested that I might be Bigender but I just want to be sure about it, it just feels like I'm switching between masculinity and feminity very often

Hi!

I can relate to you when you say you came out and it's like your family's in denial. When I first came out as bisexual and for a couple years after, a lot of my family and friends acted like it never happened and that I was straight. Then when it came to being bigender, I was even more nervous to come out bc my family went through this big ordeal when my brother came out as trans and I was afraid they'd think I was 'influenced' by him and I felt bad for not being the 'normal one' like they thought I was. But luckily, the more my family gets educated, the more they understand and accept who I am. I do think it's important to have resources you can point to in case someone is ignorant on the subject bc a lot of the times, they just don't understand things properly and if they learn about it, they can be more accepting of it (of course, some people will be anti-LGBT+ no matter what unfortunately).

I can't say for sure whether or not you're bigender as figuring out gender is more personal, but I would say it's definitely plausible! I do feel very similarly to you and identify as a man and a woman.

-Mod Kitt

Below is an answer on another ask from one of our mods about multigenders:

Hello yes anon are you me XD But for serious I recognize some of those gender feelings. Since it sounds like you’re right at the start of your gender journey, I’ll simply provide some definitions in the context of possibly being some flavor of multigender~

Nonbinary: An umbrella term for a gender identity that is not 100% man or 100% woman. Some people just identify as nonbinary as well. Many people see this as a neutral third gender or a lack of gender entirely, but the reality is that there is a wide spectrum of nonbinary identities, including bigender.

Bigender: Identifying as [at least] 2 genders. While man/woman pairing is common (like yours truly) you can also identify as a binary gender + nonbinary gender, or as two nonbinary genders! Sometimes the ratio of gender 1 to gender 2 can shift, or sometimes it’s more like preferring to wear blue one day and green the next.

Genderfluid: Similar to bigender, but distinguished from it by being more, well, fluid! People who choose to identify as genderfluid rather than bigender are more likely to experience a changing, shifting gender as a defining feature rather than something that happens occasionally.

Genderqueer: Like I’ve said before, I see this label used most often by people who know that they’re non-cis in some fashion, but don’t particularly care to put a hard and fast definitive label on it. Or, their gender expression is such that they are “queering” their otherwise cis gender. I’ve seen a few crossdressers and drag performers use genderqueer in this way.

Regarding coming out to your family (or even just getting the chance to process this with them rather than more or less on your own), I’ve seen the suggestion to test the waters and see how they react to the concept of other nonbinary or trans folks (celebrities, friends of yours, people that your family may know, etc) and if that’s favorable then to try coming out to them. If another mod or a follower want to chime in with more specific advice please do! My “coming out” is less in the sense of leaving the closet and more in the sense of just opening the closet door, so I don’t have much experience there!

- Eli

hello hello i wanted to add my 2 cents too

as far as coming out is really theres no right way to do it. coming out as queer was easy because i have family members that are open members of the lgb community but coming out as trans/enby was alot more.... difficult. for me i had to ease them into it slowly over the course of months. i probably could have (and honestly, should have) done it all at once but i had never given myself the chance to fully explore who i was when i first did it so they learned about me as i learned about me.

if you want your family along for the journey i suggest that, telling them that your questioning your gender identity and that your thoughts and feelings are subject to change as you learn (of course in a more natural sounding way x3). if you want to kind of leave them in the dark as you explore alone thats also fine! just be sure to have a friend for support as you explore because otherwise it tends to feel very alienating and very lonely. this friend doesnt have to be in the community (but its very nice if they are!) so long as they love and support you and encourage you in your journey.

and most of all remember you dont have to tell your family anything you dont want too. if it makes you too uncomfortable or you feel too unsafe then you can keep it from them. its your life and you get to pick and choose who gets to see and know which parts of you.

-ky

#ask #answered #bisexual #bigender #nonbinary #multigender #queer #trans #lgbtq

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ramen-hair-denki · 3 years

Note

Hi, can you tell me about Characters? Literally anything you want to share, anything you've been thinking about lately, or new realizations about the characters?

Sorry I'm not being very specific, I just got back from work and I am somewhat brain-dead. Please make the answer as long as you feel like writing, atm I would happily read a small novella about your ocs (but no I will not pick up a book, too much work, why, brain?)

Thank you Kace I love youuuuu 💜💜💜

Sorry this took ⏃ while lol, ⟟ was hanging out with my friends and ⟟ have ⏃ lot of characters

I’ll just go down the list of characters ⟟ have so far and give you all the info ⟟ have on them :D

(Disclaimer ⟟ literally have no names for them, ⟟ think the mechanic is going to be Elliot though)

First off we have MC

MC is their placeholder name for now

They are 16 and are an only child

Their parents were super loving, like think the Addams family but not gothic lol. ⟟ have so many ideas about how to show that throughout the story, my favorite idea being them watching an old family video on bubz’s screen.

It would show clips of holidays, big events, and soft moments like dancing in the kitchen. Just overall ⏃ very lovey vibe.

⟟ have ⏃ vivid idea of this being an animated show, so the episode would seem like ⏃ flashback into MCs past, showing their mother and father both working in the medical field, how much they loved each other and MC and just overall ⏃ great family episode before you see the screen go black. You can faintly see the reflection of MCs crying face before the camera switches to their side as they hug their knees, sobbing.

Next up we have this guy, like ⟟ said no names but ⟟ love him

He/they, 17

Kinda ⏃ big brother type, absolutely loves nature and going outside, will ask if you would go on ⏃ hike with him

He’s ⏃ wood worker, picked it up when he was ⏃ freshman and just took off with it. Builds ⏃ lot of the furniture that the group uses in their main house.

They also play the trombone, ⟟ have no idea why ⟟ just think it’s funny, definitely would play loudly to annoy people

They/them 16

They can sew, is really good at paintball, and knows ⏃ LOT about plants

⟟ accidentally started shipping them with the last guy and now ⟟ just think it’s so cute, just the two of them going on hikes, talking about different plants and just enjoying each other company.

They can also play the piano and the drums

Next up is ⏃ character that I’ve technically posted about before because she’s one of my bnha ocs.

⟟ kept ⏃ lot of info ⟟ already had on her, 18 years old, she/her nonbinary, good at self defense and fighting techniques, enjoys reading, and has basic first aid knowledge.

Her best friend is ⏃ trans woman that I’m thinking of naming Sarah after ⏃ trans woman ⟟ know irl :)

18, she/her

She also knows basic self defense because she and her friend took classes together since they were 8

She can cook really well, tends to cook for the whole group if they aren’t feeding themselves

She doesn’t like thunderstorms and usually needs to have headphones in during them so she can calm down

Definitely acts like she doesn’t like the others but would probably kill someone for them

19 (the oldest and shortest of the group) she/they/zem

Definitely ⏃ mom friend, can knit and sew, bake, dance, and garden. Very self sufficient but tends to forget to take care of zirself in the attempt to take care of everyone else, seeing as they are just kids.

They are very social and tends to need to be around someone at all times, even if it’s just sitting in the same room as someone else without talking.

18, she/they, 6’4, huge woman ⟟ want her to hold me

On the artistic side, draws, sings, and used to be in color guard

Definitely ⏃ cuddler, has an on going joke with mom friend just about both of their heights

18, he/they, resident white boy

Honestly Idk how this guy fits into the story yet, he’s very underdeveloped, all ⟟ have about them is that he is ⏃ history nut, literally has so many dates and information about history in his head why does he ever know this stuff.

They also are pretty great at math, can do ⏃ lot of quick multiplication and division in his head

He’s ⏃ goofball and tries to keep people’s spirits high even if it’s at the expense of his happiness, definitely tells stupid puns and makes self degrading jokes about themself.

17, she/her

Another underdeveloped character, she’s one of the more recent ones

I’m going to have to do ⏃ lot of research on Muslims because ⟟ really wanna get her right

So far just for simple character stuff she likes to garden with the mom of the group and she enjoys dancing and listening to music

————————

That’s pretty much all ⟟ have for now, ⟟ need to think more about them and ⟟ swear ⟟ need to get some damn names for all these guys ⟟ need to be able to talk about them and how they interact with each other

#ramens ocs #long post

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uncloseted · 4 years

Note

lately i've been VERY confused about gender and sexuality (not mine, just in general, although more on that later). so i always called myself a lesbian because it made sense, im a girl i like girls. about 2 years ago i had a lot of internalized homophobia and i tried to be as feminine as i could so people would think i was straight. and i remember one time i thought "what if i'm a trans man and i'm doing this because i feel like i have something to prove". +

but then i thought "nah, i can't be a man (or non binary) i like girly things too much". but that's awful too. ellen always wears suits and has short hair and she's still a woman. jeffree star likes girly things and he's a man. but now i don't even know what IS a girl/woman. i mean i didn't choose to be a woman and i never had a chance to be anything else. but i don't think i ever wanted to be. even if i identified as "agender" and i still looked and acted the way i do know, society would still

be seeing and oppressing me as a woman, so at least to me, personally, it feels useless. but also, a lot of nb people (most of them are afab) identify as lesbians. it's very confusing. i never had any kind of dysphoria although i felt uncomfortable with my body, periods, and sex but i always thought it was because of shyness, anxiety, internalized homophobia, insecurities and beauty standards. and i have a friend who's studying psychology in university and she told me dysphoria does not exist

trans girls. i think it depends on, like, how "far" they are in their transition?. i think i could be attracted, physically and emotionally but i couldn't have sex with someone with a penis. and i know even the most trans-positive people will tell you that it's ok to have a genital preference and not want to date trans people. but it still makes me feel horrible because it's like i'm seeing nb people as "more woman" than trans women. but also in all honesty it's very hard to "tell" cis people

from nb people. if you showed me a picture of jeffree star and jonathan van ness (or elena and syd from one day at a time, or amandla stenberg and king princess, or sam smith and harry styles) and asked me which one is nb, i wouldn't know. i would probably say jeffree. so i agree that monosexual (straight/gay) people will inevitably be attracted to nbs because nb is a spectrum, and also some people (I think all of us, in some way? maybe it's a controversial opinion) are gender non-conforming but

but don't identify as nb. does that mean we should change the definitions of gay/lesbian, since any gender could have any type of body and look as feminine and/or masculine as they want? do sam smith, jvn, vander von odd/sasha velour/gigi goode (all genderfluid drag artists) have male privilege despite not being men?. should we change the words feminism, sexism, misogyny, male privilege, etc for something more accurate?. honeslty i think a lot of this confusion is actually intrusive thoughts

and me just being an overthinker in general but it's been causing me so much distress that now every pronoun feels wrong and i can't even masturbate. please forgive the rambling, the buts, the incoherence and the ignorance. thanks in advance. oh and please tell me if this comes through in pieces and i will send them again

So there’s a ton to unpack here, but for the record, I’ve had this exact train of thought, too.

I want to preface my answer by saying that I’m not a gender scholar and I haven’t read nearly as many academic works as I’d like to on this subject, so this is coming very much from my personal opinions and less from an evidence-based/academic place. I also want to say that if pressed, I would describe myself as a pansexual gender anarchist (as in, attracted to people for who they are instead of their parts and I think we should get rid of the concept of gender entirely), but I think that sounds a bit wanky, especially since it has almost zero bearing on my everyday life. So I think the concept of sexuality and gender is maybe different to me than it is to other people, and my perspective on this topic might be unusual in that sense. If anyone reading this thinks what I’m saying is bullshit or problematic, please join in the conversation! I would love to hear what you have to say.

For me, the more I think about gender and sexuality, the more i don’t really “get” either concept. Gender has begun to feel (to me) like one of those Buzzfeed quizzes where you answer a bunch of questions and they’re like, “you’re rocky road ice cream” and you’re like, “I have no idea what that implies except for it’s the collection of traits I chose from the options above”.

What I mean by that is that gender is a social construct. No traits are inherently masculine or feminine- things that are considered masculine in one culture can be feminine in another and vice versa.

Especially now, when we’re really moving towards disentangling gender from our world, I wonder what’s left to take the place of those items to define what gender is. Gender used to be like “feminine is cleaning, nurturing, creating (or Barbie dolls, dresses, and makeup), and masculine is destruction, being powerful, and being ambitious (or football, beer, and video games)”, but clearly that’s not what it means anymore. Ellen’s suits are feminine suits by virtue of the fact that she IDs as female, even though suits used to be considered a male thing. Jeffree Star’s makeup looks are male makeup looks by virtue of the fact that he IDs as male, even though makeup used to be considered a female thing. I’ve heard some people say that there are as many genders as there are people in the world. At that point I think we’re just using the word “gender” as a synonym for “personality”, which is fine, but I think we need to be clear about our definitions and what these words now mean and imply about a person.

Going along that train of thought, if gendered words don’t really mean anything anymore, I don’t see the point as identifying as a particular gender, at last not in the abstract. In practice, our world still sees gender and cares about it, and other people’s interpretation of our gender has very real consequences. As you say, even if you identified as agender, society would treat you as a woman because you present in a way society considers to be “traditionally feminine”, and as a result, you would be oppressed in the same way women are. This is why I said that my position on gender impacts my life zero percent. I can identify as a gender anarchist all I want, but at the end of the day I still get passed up for opportunities because the way I present is read as female. Likewise, nonbinary people who were assigned male at birth do have a degree of male privilege (or at least, can access male privilege), depending on how well they “pass” as a man. Sam Smith likely still experiences some male privilege, because they look (most of the time) like what society might consider traditionally male. Someone like JVN probably passes less frequently, due to his long hair and frequent wearing of what we might think of as traditionally female clothing (skirts and dresses and high heels). However, the flip side of that is both Sam Smith and JVN risk being even more marginalized than female identifying, female presenting people when they do dress in a gender non-conforming way, because nonbinary identities are less understood and less accepted than female identities are.

So now that we’ve considered what gender means in relation to society, maybe let’s consider it in relation to our bodies and sexuality. This is a bit of a minefield so I’m going to try to tread carefully, but again, feel free to call me out if I say something problematic...

I don’t think being uncomfortable with your body, especially feminine features of your body that are widely looked down upon (for example, periods) or sexualized (physical features like boobs, butts, hips) necessarily makes a person trans or nonbinary. As you say, those feelings can be a result of shyness, anxiety, internalized homophobia, insecurities, beauty standards, and dozens of other things. However, it is something many trans or nonbinary individuals experience. So the question then becomes, where are those feelings of discomfort coming from? Are they internal to you (as in, your body physically feels like there’s something wrong/those features shouldn’t be there) or external (you feel shame for having those features because of the society you grew up in)? It can be really hard to detangle internal influences from external ones, given that people who are assigned female at birth learn to hate our femininity and female bodies from a very young age.

I would say that if those feelings are internal to you, then that’s what referred to as gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is a real, ICD and DSM diagnosable condition, and there’s some evidence to suggest that there’s a neurobiological basis for it. My (very controversial) hypothesis is that gender dysphoria is like other body integrity identity disorders, where there’s a mismatch between the brain’s map of the body and what the physical body actually looks like. I want to make it clear here that I don’t think being trans is a disorder. I don’t think it’s bad or that all people who are trans have a body integrity disorder. I don’t think you need to physically transition to be trans, or that we should pathologize gender/gender expression, or that gender is a binary (hopefully that last one is obvious). I just think if society has less stringent gender divisions and a less binary understanding of gender, fewer people would physically transition, but some people would still experience a mismatch between their idea of how their body’s sexual characteristics should look and how they physically are.

So then, what does that mean for our terminology? I think in the context of a world where the meaning of gender is changing, gay and lesbian just refer to genitals (people with penises attracted to people with penises and people with vaginas attracted to people with vaginas, respectively). Or perhaps we need to separate it out further- maybe you can be romantically and physically attracted to female and male presenting people, but sexually attracted to only vaginas. Maybe that would fill the gap between being interested in a person romantically and being interested in having sex with their genitals, where you’re attracted to someone without yet knowing what’s in their pants? In general, though, I think labels should exist to be useful. I don’t know how useful it is to have a term for “I'm attracted to you, given that you have the genitals I’m sexually attracted to.”

I think under that framework of centering labels like gay and lesbian on genitals, a lot more people are pansexual than would identify that way if you took a poll right now. In general, I think a lot of people never recognize that they’re pansexual because they aren’t in contact with nonbinary or trans people that they’re attracted to frequently enough to know they don’t actually care about genital preferences.

When talking about other labels like feminism (the advocacy for AFAB and female-identifying/presenting rights), sexism (prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, generally towards female identifying/presenting people. but also towards gender nonconforming people), misogyny (dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against AFAB and female identifying/presenting people), male privilege (the system of advantages or rights that are available to men and male identifying/presenting people solely on the basis of their sex/gender presentation), etc., I think those terms refer to the societal construct of sex/gender that is still prevalent in our culture. We perhaps need to start using other words to describe discrimination against nonbinary people, but I think the existing terms continue to serve a purpose and it’s not time to retire them just yet.

I don’t know if any of this is at all helpful or if I’m expressing my thoughts clearly. Maybe it will just add more confusion to your existing thought process, but I hope it helps to minimize your distress at least a little bit. Ultimately, all of this is kind of made up, so don’t beat yourself up too much while trying to unravel all these different threads. People spend full academic careers and sometimes their entire lives trying to figure out what they believe on these issues. It’s okay to not have it all worked out or to not be sure in your ideas. Even for me, this is just where my thinking is right now. Maybe in the future it will change with new information I learn or as my feelings towards myself change. Try to let yourself think of this as a journey instead of something you have to already have figured out.

#Anonymous #effys-closet #effys closet

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jamiebluewind · 5 years

Text

Misunderstandings

OC Perspective (Lyric)

Word Count: 1466

Notes: nonbinary character (Lyric), transmale character (Aultho), occasional use of fantasy language (elvish)

Characters: Lyric (original character), Aultho (original character), and Fabian (mentioned)

Warnings: bigotry, fantasy based racism, violence mention (please message me if I missed any)

Ships: None

Spoilers: Fantasy High Season 1 (minor)

Summary: Aultho had a bad day at work (due to a particular half-elf). His sibling Lyric tries to help.

Takes place after the bonus comic for Fabian's Gifts.

Requested by @rizbian

****

Lyric sat in their room tinkering with a new crystal array. Normally they would be in bed already, but their brother had messaged them from work saying that he would be home late. It meant one of two things; he either had a big last minute order or he had stuck his foot in his mouth again.

While soldering a few stray wires on their latest project, they heard their brother slam the door, followed by a loud "Vyshaana darrdartha biir!" Yeah. That was never a good sign. They put their tools away and headed towards the sounds of angry sun elf.

They leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, eyeing Aultho. He was facing away from them, searched for something in the upper cupboards. "I'm guessing your evening went well," they said with a smirk.

"Not now Lyric," he replied flatly without turning around. Uh-oh. This was bad.

Lyric reached out and placed a hand on their brother's shoulder. He was tense. The twins stood like this for a moment as Lyric's thumb made soft circles on the other's shoulder. Finally, Aultho's shoulders slumped with a sigh as he turned his head. A deep bruise blossomed across his jaw and he had the beginnings of a black eye. "Seldarine!" they exclaimed. "What... how... go sit. I'll bring some ice and healing aid."

A halfhearted smile appeared on Aultho's face as he shook his head. "Gys sa salen?" he said more like a question than a demand as he nodded towards the liquor.

"Sure," Lyric replied. "Elven wine or something harder?"

"Whichever you grab first," he answered as he walked towards the small livingroom.

Lyric poured up two drinks, sending a small machine to grab the healing aid while they got the rest. They pulled a coldpack out of storage and activated it with a tap before pressing it between their body and arm so they would have two free hands for the glasses. By the time they walk into the livingroom and sat the glasses down, the machine had returned, healing aid in hand.

Aultho glanced and the tin. "I only asked for a drink," he said. It was an absentminded observation, the kind he often made that got him in the most trouble.

"And I brought you something that will actually do some good," they replied. They dipped their fingers in the magic infused balm and applied a thin coat to his face. They made a mental note to make more for him to keep at work. Aultho would have never let them see him like this if he had any left.

Slowly, the balm did it's job as the scraps knitted themselves back together, the harsh bruise faded to a softer hue, and the swelling became less pronounced. "Thank you," Aultho said with a sigh. Lyric wordlessly ploped the coldpack in his hand before taking their seat. Aultho placed the pack on the sore area and sighed again before reaching over to grab his drink.

Lyric gave him a few rare moments of silence to collect his thoughts. They were going to find out what happened of course, but Aultho looked so drained that they decided he needed a little more time than normal. It wasn't the first time he had come home like this since they fled to Solace. In fact, when the twins first arrived it had been almost a daily occurrence! Lyric had gotten in their fair share of stupid fights too - especially those first couple months - but they had adapted and found friends that helped them understand. All Aultho had was Lyric, a prickly exterior, and a strong aversion to admitting when he needed help.

Lyric was about to start prodding when a heavy sigh came from Aultho. "I really have no idea how I pissed this one off," he said. His head was leaned back and his eyes were closed. "The gods damned biir."

"Did you call him a biir?" Lyric asked. Serious or no, they could never resist getting cheeky with their brother.

Aultho leaned up to roll his eyes at them, only to stop with a flinch and an "ow". He looked like he had a headache coming on. "I haven't been that stupid since the second month we arrived here," he replied.

"And yet-" they started

"I know," he said. "It still comes out sometimes when I'm mad. Apologies."

They reached out and patted his leg. At least he was trying.

"I was about to close shop when a customer came in," he said, looking at his sibling. "Tall. Loud. Probably half-elf or human. Wearing one of those stupid school sports coats..."

They furrowed their brow. "Letterman jacket?" they guessed.

"Yes!" he said. "That's it."

"So probably in high school or college?" they asked.

He nodded and then seemed to immediately regret it. "Yes," he answered. "That sounds about right. A real gabreth. He banged on the counter, demanding a small briefcase. I suggested he make it a briefcase of holding. Then he punched me, yanked me up by my collar, said he wanted the feature while threatening me, requested initials, and then said he would be back in two hours to pick it up!"

They stared. "That's... how could that even be done," they asked.

"Not easily," he answered. "I luckily had a small black briefcase already made plus several scrolls on hand to help with the magic and lettering, but it was close." He winced. "Too close. I half expected him to punch me again once I explained that the magic had to settle for a couple weeks before the holding feature he requested would work, but he seemed quite happy with it." A humorless laugh came out. "Even gave me a tip."

Lyric breathed out heavily and sunk into their seat. "Wow," they said. They blinked a few times, trying to figure out what to do next. "Okay. Lets go through EXACTLY what you said. Because this is either a learning moment for you or a perfect time for me to test out my battle tech."

This got a real laugh out of him. "Okay," he answered. "Let's see..." He scewed his face in thought. "I think he said 'I demand a goblin sized leather briefcase.' I told him it would be a tiny thing and turning it into a briefcase of holding would give the goblin a lot more space to store the shiny things they stole. Then he punched me and-"

"Wait," they said, holding up a hand. Lyric was pretty sure their brain quit working for a second there and was desperately trying to catch up. "Did you actually tell this person... that goblins are thieves who like shiny things?"

A pause. His eyes widened. "...yes?" he answered, drawing out the eh sound.

Oh dear gods their brother could be an idiot sometimes. "Al," they said. "You can't... that's month four stuff!"

"But just last week someone told me..." He stopped and closed his eyes as he breathed out, defeated. "Mhaor kiira," he whispered.

"Hey," they said, taking their brother's hand, "whoever told you that was the asshole here. It's not your fault. Not completely anyway." It was hard enough for Aultho to sort through the lies and truthes without some idiot making it harder on him. Unfortunately, their brother was an accidental bigot magnet.

"Maethe," he said solemnly, "but I am still the fool falling for their false truthes after nearly a year."

They glared at him. "I will fight you ya know?" they replied. "I have a pile of battle tech ready to unleash at a moment's notice."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is it beside the pile of gay stuff?" he asked.

"My dearest brother," they answered with a hand to their chest, "Everything I own is gay stuff. You have to be more specific." They punctuated it with a wink.

He chuckled softly. "I should have realized," he replied. He looked at them with a genuine smile now that reached his eyes. "We should probably prepare for bed," he said suddenly as he stood up and stretched. "Would you mind if I borrowed your mini crystal while I trance? I might need a refresher."

Lyric smiled brightly at him. It was the first time he had asked for the mini crystal instead of having it pushed on him. Progress. "Sure," they answered with a nod as they unclipped the purplish pink crystal and handed it to him. "No problem." They made a mental note to get him one of his own that they could update regularly.

He looked down at the crystal now cradled in his hands. "Thank you," he said with a soft smile before turning to walk away. "Goodnight, Syolkiir," he said over his shoulder as he went into his room.

"Goodnight, Quinpah," they answered. "Love you too."

~~~~~~

Elvish Words Used

Aul: in

Tho: truth

Vyshaana: vile curse or an insult (reference to the Vyshaan clan of sun elves).

Darrdartha: foamjaws, rabies

Biir: garbage, used as an insult against half-elves or those of human heritage

Seldarine!: Gods! (expression of exasperation)

Gys Sa Salen: Give Me a Drink/I Need A Drink

Gabreth: untrustworthy, likely to turn on you, cruel in battle (dangerous/vicious)

Mhaor: corrupt/corruption

Kiir: gem (plural is kiira)

Maethe: perhaps

Syolkiir: wild star/gem (meteor)

Quinpah: a type of elvish bread/pastry

#fantasy high #fantasy high oc #fabian seacaster #d20 fic #dimension 20 #d20 #nonbinary character #transmale character #bluewind writes #jamie bluewind fic #tw violence mention #tw bigotry #tw fantasy racism #original character

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