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cursedvida · 7 months

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Something about Y/N is a bounty hunter and she has been hired to catch Buggy. She infiltrates his crew to gain access to him. At first she thinks he's crazy and ridiculous duda with all his shows and bravado, but eventually she realises that she has feelings for him?

Well i liked this prompt so... I made something angst because yeah.

PART II // PART III // PART IV // PART V // PART VI // PART VII

SAD EYES, BROKEN SMILE (Buggy x f!Reader)

A/N: i'm not really happy about the result but english isn't my first language and it's been a while since i used to write in this language. Sorry for the typos.

Warnings: just angst, swearing and the reader falling for a sad clown.

Wondering how you could have got in that situation was redundant. You knew perfectly well why you were there. It was part of your job, if hunting pirates could be considered as such. Well, it fed you, and for a person who cared little or nothing about anything but staying alive, how you got things was secondary. So when you received the assignment to hunt down Buggy the Clown for almost double his bounty you didn't have to think too hard about it. With an amount like that you could rest for several months without worrying about the money. You didn't know or care about who was after this guy or what they wanted to do with him, all you could see was the string of zeros in the offer. At the time that was enough for you.

But that thought only lasted for a short period of time. The Clown was not just another regular pirate, he was a big shot. The guy had been nominated as a candidate to be a Warlord, which meant he was no ordinary pirate, and his special skills - which you had researched - made him someone not to be underestimated.

Whoever was interested in getting him had to have good reasons, something you were not interested in at all, but as you got to know your target better you blamed yourself for not having demanded a higher price. Especially since catching Buggy was no easy task, he had a reputation for always moving around guarded by his crew, which made him slightly inaccessible prey. However, when you finally caught up with him and his crew, all the imaginings you had built up in your head disappeared in one fell swoop.

Buggy the Clown was, as his name said, a clown. A real fucking clown who spent his days bragging about his fucking antics and didn't know what it meant to shut the fuck up because he was always in dire need of being heard and being the centre of attention.He wasn't a fearsome pirate, he was a narcissist with an excessive need for attention who told far-fetched stories about great feats that no one in their right mind would believe him capable of. He was ridiculous, and the worst thing was that his comrades adored him, they had almost a special veneration for him. You couldn't understand him, he became hysterical at the drop of a hat, he was hypersensitive to any comment that wasn't literally an offering to his self-proclaimed divine power and would go from over-excitement to melodrama in a millisecond. The only thing that was clear to you was that feigning adoration for this jerk to fit in with his band of morons made you sick.

Joining his crew wasn't too difficult - ego-hungry men are the easiest to cajole-. All you had to do was pretend to be a poor, helpless little girl without much talent who had wanted to be a pirate for years and had heard amazing stories about this genius jester who had not only terrorized the East Blue, but had become one of the most feared pirates on the Great Line.Buggy didn't even pay much attention to you, you was too ordinary to interest him, something that suited you.

"Of course you've heard of me," he told you that first time you met him, when you managed to catch him in a tavern after following him for days. "Hey guys, our little friend says she's heard about the great Buggy!"

That whole gang of freaks started laughing non-stop, as if what you had just said was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Buggy turned to you again.

"Okay, honey, what can you do for me?"

"Anything I can be useful for."

Trying not to sound too intense - so as not to sound suspicious - you insisted that you wanted the chance to learn on such a famed crew, to please give you the opportunity. The same night you were given a bucket, a mop and welcomed as an unimportant cabin girl. Just as you wanted.

The idea was to lay low until you had been cleaning up vomit and serving drunks long enough to have access to the captain. You knew there was no point in trying to cut him because of his powers, and if you tried to tie him up he would escape, so the only way to make sure you could catch him was to drug him.

The plan was a slam dunk. Wait until the key moment to attack and that's it, even if the waiting included having to put up with the bunch of weirdos that made up the crew and the attention whore of their captain, who seemed to have an allergy to normality.

Yes, it was a piece of cake, or at least that's what you thought until that day when everything began to take a turn for the worse that you could never have imagined.

"Oh, excuse me captain"

It was a night like so many others. The crew had managed to embezzle from a rich family and had pocketed a handful of gold. In the face of such success they had not missed the opportunity to celebratre: litres and litres of beer, sake, rum and all kinds of alcohol. Food to rave about. The crew circus that Buggy was leading that night was a complete madness. You, on the other hand, remained sober, in the shadows. You picked up jugs, replenished them, swept up some of the mess... Everything you'd expect from a rookie being used as a maid.

At such moments Buggy loved to strut his stuff more than ever. He used to stand in the centre of the deck, surrounded by his entire fan club, get on a box or powder keg and start his show. He would talk about how wonderful he was, how powerful and rich they would all become by being with him, and he would emphasise considerably all that he had done to achieve the goal. So it was strange enough for you not to have seen him bragging around for the last hour, but stranger still to find him down in the cellars with his back against a row of beer barrels and his gaze lost in infinity.

Buggy was drunk. Very drunk. At that moment you thought maybe the time had come, when would you have a better chance? He was totally idioticated by alcohol, perfect for noqueating it. And his crew all drunk, no one would notice what was going on.

You came out of your role of useless servant, your senses sharpened, your muscles in tension. The time had come before even your personal deadline was fulfilled, you thought it was your lucky night, but at that moment Buggy noticed your presence, looking at you with glassy eyes and lost because of the drunkenness, and there was something in that look that made you feel a slight sneezing in the stomach that you had never experienced before.

"Oh, it's you, uh... uh..." he scratched his fingers, trying to remember something.

"Y/N, Captain," you answered with a fist. The bastard didn't even remember your name.

“Yeah, exactly…" he said to himself. His head crumbled a little.

He didn't wear the hat, nor the coat. Her makeup was a little rushed because of the hours he had already been at the party, and his eyes were still lost somewhere you didn't know, but for some reason it caused you so much curiosity that anything else slipped out of your head.

"Can I help you with something?" You asked, with your most innocent voice.

Buggy stayed looking at his jar for a few moments and then turned to you again.

"Do you think I need help, baby?" His mocking tone seemed to indicate no, but his desolate expression said the opposite. "Do you think a pirate like me needs help?"

"I didn't want to offend you, sir..."

When he saw how you apologized, he laughed, a loud sound, but lacking fun in the tone. In fact, his laughter sounded cold to you. Then you realized that Buggy was not laughing anymore, but was breathing a huge sigh.

"It's better not to need help nor need anyone. At the end you're always alone"

His voice suddenly darkened and, for the first time since you were on that boat, you felt real curiosity for the man you had in front of you. There was something dark in his gaze, a face of lost innocence that seemed irremediably familiar to you. Without realizing it, you had lowered the guard, and that was only the beginning of your great end.

"You're not alone, Captain." You told him, trying stupidly to keep your role. "Everyone in this crew is with you, and everyone adores you."

"Of course they love me" He answered, slightly offended, and then became blue again. It was then that he looked directly at you, and it was that look that suddenly passed through you. There was fury in his eyes, but also another very different feeling, you could see in them something sad and broken, so sad and so broken that you had terrible desires to reassemble it immediately. "Don't you believe it, Y/N?"

The question makes you uninterested, or too distracted.

“What...? that they adore you, sir?"

"No, shit" he cried, shaking at the drunkard. “that we are always alone."

“So…” You was shocked, it’s possible that you didn’t know what to answer? It wasn't even a complicated or out of place question, what the fuck had you been thinking about? Fuck, what happened to you? "Well... I..." You had to react, you were shivering, you didn't shiver. You took air, trying to get back to your boats, and then you turned to him again. "Didn't we all be born alone?"

"What?"

"We are born alone and we die alone," you said. "And we live together in the meantime. But we are born alone and we die alone."

He kept watching you. You didn't know if he was trying to process your words because due to the state of drunkenness in which he was probably not processing half of what was happening around him, or if he really was trying to analyze you. It was somewhat difficult to discern when someone was drunk, the line between curiosity and ethyl coma was complicated.

It was probably the first time Buggy really noticed you since you got on the boat. Because you didn't want to be noticed, he didn’t notice you, you were good at hiding. But now he had all his attention on you and something shrunk inside you, like you missed the air. You suddenly found yourself thinking that maybe he wasn't as stupid as you thought he was. Maybe that whole facade of bravado and arrogance was just a way to make up all his insecurities,. Maybe at the end he just was a broken man behind so much show. In that moment, as his gaze clawed into yours, you realized that he even seemed attractive to you. And that moment you had to look away, horrified by everything that was going on in your head, but what the hell?

"It's an interesting answer," he murmured.

"I have to... I have to go re-set the barrels" you finally said, you had to get out of there, the atmosphere had suddenly darkened "I'm sorry, captain."

And as you went out sparkled back to the deck, you noticed something that made you absolutely horrified: you were totally noisy.

From that night on, Buggy decided that you weren't going to be an anonymous person to him. It's not that he left everything he was doing to talk to you, but when you crossed each other, he always greeted you. And you discovered that, in some way that you were unable to understand, you were beginning to have a very strong crush for a guy who uses make up to painted his face like a clown and was a little bit older for you.

The more interactions you had with him - very little really, nothing even remotely similar to that night - the more you realized that your contempt for all that circus roll and the freaks making shows had clouded your ability to analyze. Buggy wasn't an idiot. Well, he was, but he also turned out to be a very smart man, was good at planning and a real genius at tricks. Furthermore, despite being always talking about himself and being quite despotic, he really cared about the crew and had respect for them. At the end, you thought that he was simply growing up child with anger problems, and that was really charming to you.

So there you are now, you have a fucking crush on the guy you had to kidnap, not knowing what the hell to do because it's the first time in your life that something like this happens to you and feeling ridiculous at the same time because you look like a super stupid fifteen-year-old bitch. You've killed more people than you can count, you've broken bones, cut necks, ripped teeth off, but suddenly you meet that idiot clown and everything, absolutely everything you have worked on so far goes to shit. And the worst part is that you don't even care because you're too worried looking at him from a distance like stupid fool.

"Hey, Y/N"

It's Cabaji's voice that gets you out of your mind. Since you had that meeting with Buggy in the cellars you're no longer dedicated to cleaning and serving, now you clean and fix things. It's kind of an promotion, but really no.

"What's going on?"

"Have you seen the two who came yesterday? You know... those who talked about joining the crew."

"No idea"

Cabaji sits carelessly, your voice has not shaken a single moment. You remember them, of course, a couple of friends wanting to become pirates. And of course you will not tell Cabaji that you had no choice but to open their heads and leave them on the other end of the island when you heard one of the two commenting something about the captain being very attractive and. That information don¡t fit well with your image of a worthless rookie, and it would also be like assuming you have more childish jealousy starts than teenagers and therefore accepting that you're reaching very worrying levels of encapsulation.

Actually, since you found out how much you like Buggy, there are a lot of things you can't say. For example that you were the one who left that bitch without legs when he dared to make a comment about Buggy’s nose on the last island you passed. Neither can you tell the guys who hired you to hunt him that you don't plan on doing your job and that you've long abandoned that idea. Of course, can't say to some of your colleagues you're in that crew because you want it and not for work. But most of all, you can't tell Buggy that you'd love to know what it's like to kiss a man with a broken smile and sad eyes, but you would be willing to admit any of your other secrets before the last one.

#buggy #buggy imagine #buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy x y/n #buggy headcanons #buggy the clown imagine #buggy the flashy fool #buggy x you #op buggy #buggy live action #buggy one piece #buggy pirates #captain buggy #buggy d clown

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that-one-gay-writer1227 · 1 year

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Hi! Good day I hope I'm not bothering you. Can I make a request about a Yan Venti x reader with a breeding kink? Hehehehe

His and Only His

A/N: Thank you so much for this request Anon! Don't worry, you're not bothering me! I actually had a lot of fun writing this request, so if anything your submission made my day a wee bit better! I wasn't sure if you wanted fem, masc, or neutral reader so I went ahead and wrote it as neutral but fem-bodied. I hope you don't mind! Also I apologize for the delay, I've been working on a personal project of mine unrelated to Tumblr lol. This is the first time ive written a yandere fic so i apologize if its not up to par, either way i hope you enjoy.

Summary: A certain bard has been hiding some very vivid feelings for you that are borderline obsessive, and one day he decides he wants to take you home and fill you up after an accidental confession <3

Warnings: smut, breeding kink, manipulative and possessive yandere themes, slight overstimulation, penetrative sex (the reader has a vagina), sub-reader, dom venti, oral giving (reader recieves), pet names (baby, cutie, etc. ), marking kink, !everything in here is fully consensual!

Tagging: @hitomisuzuya hey!!! I thought you might like this one since you also like yan venti fics lol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Venti met a few months ago in one of mondstat's most renowned taverns, the angel's share, and soon became drinking buddies. Usually, you two would talk about the most random things; your days, assholes you encountered, books you've read, and music.

Once you had mentioned that you were interested in learning how to write poetry venti jumped at the chance. Even started an entire class to teach poetry. Everyone thought it was for the public, but no; it'd be all for you. Everything he was doing was all for you.

He just couldn't stop thinking of you. Your smile, your voice, the way you walk, talk, and breathe.

Archons, from the first night he met you, he knew you just had to be his.

His to hold,

His to love,

His to breed

To be fully honest, he's had non-stop dreams and thoughts of you carrying his children. He's always wanted a family, for centuries he's thought about it. Raising a son or daughter in a life full of music and stories. Everything had started pure and innocent; it could have even been labeled a crush. But the more and more the two of you talked, he just couldn't help how often the thought of you being full of his seed would come to him. Slowly creeping into every one of his waking thoughts until you being fucked so full was the only thing he was concerned with anymore.

So here you are, late at night at angel's share waiting for your favorite bard to join you. It was just after new years, and the breeze was as gentle as ever in the wonderful city of mondstat. You had ordered a drink from diluc, the current bartender for the night and the owner of the place. You ordered a simple drink just to keep yourself company while waiting for Venti to arrive.

As if he had heard your thoughts, the blue-haired tone deaf bard walked in the door, a large grin plastered on his face and his lyre under his left arm. He waved hello to diluc and Jose before he went up the stairs to join you at your usual table. He took a seat in front of you and your half-finished drink. The second floor was nearly empty, leaving only the two of you under the candles aglow.

You smiled brightly at him. "Why hello stranger! fancy seeing you here." You teased making venti chuckle.

"Ehe same to you stranger, I actually came here looking for someone dear to me. Their name is y/n, you haven't seen them have you?" He teased back, locking eyes with you.

You couldn't help but feel your heart flutter a little. although your feelings were not nearly as intense as venti's, you had to admit you had definitely been struck by cupid to some degree. He was someone who intrigued you and made you laugh when no one else could, something you were very happy to have in life.

"I might have heard that name a few times, any more information on this Y/n?" You wanted to keep this going for just a little bit longer to see how much you could bring out. You were beyond curious and honestly the wine you'd had made you tipsy so there was no fear of him discovering your little crush.

This made him smirk. He placed his thumb under his chin and grazed his lips with a sweet slide of his index finger, feigning thought for a moment.

"Well, for starters they have beautiful eyes, as strong as the sea and as free as the seven winds. They have a talent for writing some of the most dazzling poetry! They also blush the same way you are right now, a jaw-dropping red more vibrant than the brightest apples in all of mondstat!" He bit his lip with a slight giggle as you felt your face be lit aglow.

You knew he liked to tease, and that was part of the reason that you developed feelings for him, but how did you not notice how direct it was before? Normally his teasing was simply a nickname, maybe a quick pickup line. But this? This was making your heart jump back and forth in your throat and chest.

"i- well you, i..." You felt the words get caught in your throat. what were you doing? You needed to pull yourself together before things got out of hand. Quickly trying to regain your composure, you'd sputtered a quick sentence, barely audible "Shh... my poetry isn't that good..."

"Well I beg to differ, I think it was stunning. I liked it with my whole heart." Venti was quick to retort. He was really trying to be the end of you tonight huh?

"Well I like you with my whole heart" You were convinced you'd thought. You were shocked to feel that your mouth was open as if you'd just said something. You slapped a hand over your mouth, eyes bugging out. Venti looked at you, blinking a few times before his expression changed.

"What was that songbird? Do you like me?" He teased, leaning forward to pull your hand from your mouth. It took little effort, as he then took his other hand and pulled your chin in his direction, leaning over just a little and glancing down at your lips. "I wanna hear you say it songbird."

Please, don't let this be a dream; you'd think. You weren't sure what you were expecting after accidentally blurting your heart out to your best friend, but this certainly was by far the best possible reaction. You took a quivering breath and uttered, "I...I like you."

Something in his eyes changed, he was still looking at your lips, going back and forth between your eyes and mouth. Now his eyes were glued to your lips, something darker overtaking them. Watching the words leave your tongue, watching the shapes you make when you talk, the melodies dripping out.

"Can I do something crazy?" Venti asked, hushed but confident. Something that sounded a little too perfect not to have been rehearsed. You nodded hesitantly before he leaned in slowly towards you.

You felt his breath tickle your neck softly, there was a pause as you leaned your head to the side giving him more access. you felt like you were on fire. His hand slid from your chin to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. He gave a soft chuckle before locking his lips around your neck.

You couldn't help the gentle mewl that left you when he began sucking on the tender skin. The hand tangled in your hair gently got tighter as his kisses grew hungrier and more passionate.

You felt the heat of the moment jump between your thighs as he climbed over the table quietly. His hunger for you didn't seem to quench as he kissed your neck, it only became stronger. He began biting different spots on your neck, kneading the flesh with his teeth and tongue. It was only when you heard a group of people from downstairs leave that you realized that you both were on display, all it took was someone looking up.

You pushed him off you slightly, making him look at you confused and a little hurt.

"Can we go somewhere private, I don't want everyone to see us up here." his look softened as your words settled with him, he nodded and stood up, grabbing your hand.

~~~~~~~~~~

The walk to your home wasn't far. You lived in the capital of mondstat in a small apartment near the inn. It was just more convenient for the sweet bard to keep an eye on you, and to get closer to you. You fumbled your keys, trying to open the door quickly and distractedly.

Venti wrapped his hands around your waist, placing his nose in the crook of your neck, softly breathing you in. His hands squeezed ever so slightly tighter as if to preview what you were in for.

"Absolutely divine..." was all he muttered before a gentle breeze blew past you, opening your door.

You paid the weird phenomenon no mind as you grabbed his hand, leading him inside.

"Please don't mind the mess, I wasn't expecting company." Your shy mumbling was cut off when venti pushed you against the wall, going back to kissing your neck. He grabbed your sides, pulling your flesh against him. You could feel how hard he had grown just from kissing alone.

The sensation of feeling his hands finally being on you, the taste of your skin. It was intoxicating to him. He let his hands travel from your hips to palm the outside of your sex. He could feel how needy you'd grown from his touching. You bucked your hips into his hand as if telling him what you were so desperate for.

"Have patience sweet y/n. You'll get what you're so needy for when it's time." He moved from kissing your neck down, down, and down until he was sitting in front of you on his knees. He looked up at you with slitted and dangerous eyes. something you'd never seen on him before.

He began peppering kisses along the outside of your clothing, barely sending little shocks straight to your core.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted this, how long I've wanted to taste you." He pulled the hem of your pants, snapping the band closed. He let out a soft hum and looped his fingers, pulling your pants and undergarments down to his level.

The way his eyes glistened in desire was mesmerizing. He leaned forwards, nuzzling his nose onto the front of your folds, sending a chill down your spine. "Open your legs wide for me, songbird."

You did as told, lifting one leg over his shoulder, the other turned outwards to give him a better angle. He took this invite to slowly and passionately kitten lick everything his tongue would touch.

The room was filled with loud sounds of his mouth working wonders and your earthly moans. You gripped his hair as to take attention from your shaking, damn near faltering legs. you couldn't help the bucks you were making against his face. You loved the way he was moaning against your dripping sex, slurping every last drop you had to offer.

You felt the coil in your stomach growing tighter and tighter as you clenched your thighs around his head. His hands left his sex and under your thighs, pulling you closer and closer until you could only see his eyes peeking from under your flesh. Without warning, your riding became fevered, bucking widely you came all over his mouth.

Without missing a beat he ate every last drop, whining and whimpering at how absolutely amazing you tasted to him. When he was finished, he stood up on wobbly knees, still high from your orgasm, and kissed you sloppily.

You could taste your release on his tongue and the need in his passion. You bit his lip, trying to gain dominance, but you were only met with him sliding his tongue into your mouth, exploring every inch he could find refuge in. You wrapped your hands around his neck as he lifted you up.

With your hips around him, he took you to the couch and laid down on top of him. You kept your legs wrapped around his waist as he ground into you.

"Tell me what you want me to do to you," He commanded, propped up on his elbows above you, still grinding. his breath dancing over your face.

"Archons, please stop....teasing, I ne..need you to fuck me please-" You whimpered quietly feeling your need stronger than ever. You wanted to feel him stretching you, splitting you. His hands gripping your waist as he pounded into you.

He didn't say anything, he only leaned down and kissed you. His lips soft and methodic. He sent one of his hands down to your chest, gently squeezing, making you moan. He took the advantage to explore your mouth yet again. Taking your tongue and gently sucking on it.

You arched your back into his touch as he began taking his clothes off. Slowly, almost tauntingly he exposed more and more of himself.

Eventually, you both were left bare. His beautiful form in front of you. You blushed at what was to come. He spread your legs apart and leaned forward to kiss you again. You wrapped your hands around his neck and his hair as he lined his cock at your entrance.

He reached a hand out and cupped your cheek.

"You are mine. I need to hear you say that you're mine and only mine," He whispered to you. There was lust behind it, but also something more. Almost a desperation for you to reassure him that you weren't anyone else's. He needed to know that he was all you'd ever need.

"I'm yours. Only yours."

That was all he needed. A newfound primal drive pumping through his brain. His click, his trigger, and you just pulled it. He plunged into you. Starting very slowly, watching how he disappeared inside of you.

You arched your back and tightened your legs around his back, making him sink into you faster. He started thrusting his leaking cock into your soaked cunt, making you moan vibrantly.

"I've been dreaming....dreaming of you taking me like this. beg-begging for me not to stop. You wanna be full of my seed? Full of my fucking cum?" You nodded at his question without hesitation, without regard to the fact that there'd be no way out of this if he filled you. "Beg for it....beg for my cum."

But Why would you want to escape?

His hand dipped to your sex, swirling his fingers as he pumped into you. His balls tight and slapping against your ass, he gripped his hand around your flesh tight enough to leave bruises and shot hot strings of cum deep into you. Warmth spread into you as he drilled into you.

Little did you know neither would be getting up for a very long time, I mean, you were his, so it was only natural that he made your neighbors aware of that fact. He had to make sure you took to his seed, that you only remembered how to moan his name.

After all, you were his and only his. Forever and always.

#venti x reader #venti smut #genshin impact #genshin smut #venti x you #venti x yn #reader is not traveller #genshin boys #smut

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onwhatcaptain · 3 months

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Back again with another snippet from my fic. This is from chapter 10, and the conclusion of part 1.

For the first time in the longest time, Spock cries. He weeps as he did when he was just a child. He sobs because he is in pain, and because his heart hurts. No other reason. He is under the influence of nothing but a deep welling pit of grief, and he cannot summon the mortification and self-censure it takes to stop. When he wipes the tears from his eyes, more drip down his cheeks.

If you are curious, my fic "I Shall Do Neither" is here at AO3. Details below as always, and big thank you to everyone who has read along so far.

I Shall Do Neither (59729 words) by onwhatcaptain Chapters: 11/22 Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek), Leonard "Bones" McCoy Additional Tags: Romance, Angst, Heavy Angst, Loss of Control, Psychological Trauma, Mutual Pining, Five Year Mission (Star Trek), Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Post-Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Pon Farr, Pon Farr Aftermath (Star Trek), Unresolved Sexual Tension, Friendship, Grief, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Unreliable Narrator, Vulcan Biology, Tarsus IV (Star Trek), Vulcan Mind Melds, Non-Linear Narrative, Storytelling Through Vignettes, Missing Scenes Between Episodes, Plot, Cover Art, Canon Divergence, Digital Art, Illustrations, In spite of the description Kirk features heavily in this novel Summary: In the wake of the kal-if-fee on Vulcan, Kirk is dead. When T’Pau tells Spock to live long and prosper, he knows he shall do neither. This is a story about men who love each other, and the lengths they will go to for one another. - Foolish, he thinks. I have been a fool. How he had wanted so desperately to prove his Vulcan side. How all his life it had felt like a performance, and yet, to be finally subject to the most Vulcan thing of all destroyed him. The stripping of logic. All sense torn from him. His carefully constructed barriers had collapsed like a flimsy house of cards. To be granted his wish this way was a type of mockery. How he had wanted to be fully Vulcan. To prove that the blood which runs through his veins was not so human. How wanting had been better than having. - This story is told in two parts across 21 chapters, and will be updated on Sundays.

#very short snippet because there's a lot going on #and this chapter will possibly break you if you choose to read this.#but the story ain't over til it's over #star trek #star trek the original series #star trek tos #spirk #k/s #space husbands #kirk x spock #spirk fic rec #captain kirk #spock

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teyamsatan · 1 year

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The Archer | Chapter VIII: Bigger Than The Whole Sky

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Summary: As you try everything in your power to bring Neteyam back to life, he gets everything he's ever wanted in Eywa.

Pairings: Neteyam x Avatar!Reader

Word Count: 11,5k words

Warnings/notes (please proceed with caution, some of the topics might be sensitive/triggering): angst (lots and lots of angst), death, blood, violence, cursing, mildly suggestive content (18+, minors DNI), spoilers (!!) for ATWOW

A/N: i am sick and i am so so so sorry - IT HAD TO BE DONE OK?!

This was supposed to be the last chapter, but i quickly realised as i was writing it that there was no way I could reasonably end the series the way I wanted to this way - so two chapters it is. This took everything out of me honestly, but i put so much love and effort into this series, into the laws and the lore I have created, and I hope it comes across this way. I have spent an obscene amount of time trying to piece it all together, make everything consistent within the story I have already told, and I am proud of the way everything is shaping up. Now, this chapter WILL HURT and I am so sorry, but I PROMISE you all you will not be disappointed with the ending, and I will give EVERY character the ending they deserve, bc i love them all so much and they deserve to be happy.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling but i'd love to chat more about it and elaborate my thoughts and reasonings so let's chat in the replies/asks baby boys, gals and non-binary pals <3 ILY all so much xoxoxo

↳ *Spotify playlist* ༉‧₊˚✧

No words appear before me in the aftermath Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness 'Cause it's all over now, all out to sea

“Where are your sisters?”

Jake’s voice registered weakly in your ears, just like the muffled cries around you and Neytiri’s haunting wails. The tears that fell from your eyes were dried up and gone in the wind, like the rest of your being was. Empty. Soulless. Dead.

“YOUR SISTERS, WHERE ARE THEY?”

“I don’t know.”

Lo’ak’s voice sounded tired. So tired. You were all tired. Tired of this world, tired of the pain that never ever seemed to cease, that never ever wanted to relent. Your blurred dizzy vision moved to your hands, red and sticky, coated in Neteyam’s warm blood. You looked at Lo’ak, whose hands looked similar to yours. Fitting, you thought. His blood was on your hands. You were responsible for this. He wanted to leave. He wanted to get the fuck out of the ship, like you should have done. You made him come. And because of you, your dad was dead, your mate was dead. Your dad was a trained soldier, one of the best that has ever existed. Why in Eywa’s name would you ever think he needed you? If you hadn’t been there, they would have probably escaped the ship easier, quicker, and you would be all finishing the rest of the humans instead of trying to figure out how you were ever going to survive this, how you were supposed to exist in a world Neteyam didn’t, how you were going to make quick work of your damned, void soul.

Your mind went to the book, the book that you took with you to this new life as you carried it in your own, the book whose every memorable quote reminded you of him, that felt so appropriate now, all the words were swimming scattered through every crevice of your being.

“If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.”

“Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!”

“I have to remind myself to breathe -- almost to remind my heart to beat!”

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

“Nelly, I am Heathcliff - he's always, always in my mind - not as a pleasure, any more then I am always a pleasure to myself - but, as my own being.”

It truly seems you couldn’t stop ruining everything you touched. It seems no matter what body your mind was in, no matter whether in the forest or at sea, no matter a child or a full grown adult, no matter broken or seemingly healed, everything you touched just turned to ashes. Everything, everyone that dared to get close to you was bound to be lost in the abyss forever.

“WHERE ARE THEY?”

“They’re on the ship. They are tied up on the ship.”

“Yeah, they’re at the moon pool. Come on, I’ll show you.”

All the voices were distant, broken, like a messed up radio, you could only pick up words, only sounds that your brain was working hard to try to piece together. You didn’t know who was speaking, your every sense focused on Neteyam, on his eyes, still open, that will haunt you forever, for the rest of your measly, torn-apart life.

You noticed Jake come to you, taking you by the shoulders and shaking you. He did the same to Neytiri.

“Kid, come on. Let’s go. We gotta go.” When he saw how unresponsive you are, that your eyes barely looked more alive than your mate’s, that all you could muster was a barely visible shake of head, he let you go.

“Listen to me, listen to me.” He could barely speak, could be barely heard over the stirring, painful cries continuously escaping Neytiri’s mouth, yet another thing you will never be able to forget as long as you live. You have never heard anything like it, never thought it was possible for such sounds to escape another being, never thought a wordless evocation could say so much, could say everything words couldn’t.

“They have our daughters. They have our daughters. I need you with me. And I need you to be strong. Right now, strong heart. Strong heart.”

Silence enveloped the space around you, just like the darkness that came with the eclipse, and you were happy, happy for your mind to be able to focus on what it needed to, what it had to.

“Let’s go get our daughters.”

“You stay with your brother.”

“No, dad, I want to go with you.”

“You’ve done enough.”

“No, dad…”

Neteyam woke up dazed, lavender haze surrounding him until his vision finally focused, and he was able to see the periwinkle glow for what it was: bioluminescent flora. Different than the one he’s been forced to get used to the past few months - better. Because this beauty all around him was in a place he knew and loved so much, that will always be his favourite place in the world. Your clearing, back in the Omatikaya forest. How was he here? He couldn’t remember what happened, couldn’t remember a single thing from before a few seconds ago, but he took a moment to revel in being back home. He has not said it to anyone, not even you, but as much as he has enjoyed the reef, enjoyed the peace that came with being far away from humans, within the Metkayina clan, Neteyam deeply missed his home. He’s wanted to speak about it to you, but couldn’t - not when he knew how much you have also been struggling with it, how much you also missed this place, not when there was nothing to be done anyway. They couldn’t come back, as much was clear, while the humans hunted them so ferociously, while the clan could suffer as a consequence.

This place was slightly different than he remembered, Neteyam mused, and he realises it is because he has very rarely seen it after eclipse. You both usually came here during the day, as dangers hid in the shadow of the night, dangers he wouldn’t be willing to risk encountering, not with you around. He slowly, deliberately, enjoying every step, every sensation, every sound, made his way to the middle of the clearing, where the river trickled serenely, and he couldn’t help kneel next to it and put one hand in the water, palm against the current. He stood like this for a while, reminiscing about all the memories you have made here and how happy he was to be able to feel this again.

“Neteyam, wait uuup!”

“You have to be faster than that if you ever want to catch me!”

“I don’t want to catch you, I just want to catch up with you!”

Neteyam laughed at the tiny 8 year old girl with bouncing hair and starry eyes, ears pushed back and tails swinging rapidly from one side to the other in happiness at seeing her running towards him, a small pout on her pink lips and an annoyed figure on her face. The little boy kneeled to the ground and opened his much bigger arms wide and she ran straight into him, almost knocking him over at the force of the impact. He wondered if it hurt her. He was always worried about her, she was so so small.

“You caught me.”

“Woah! What is this place?”

Neteyam took in your awed, amazed expression and turned around slowly and was speechless at the beauty of this place, this little corner of Pandora that seemed untouched, that seemed no one else has ever set foot in it before you two.

“It’s heaven!!”

“What’s heaven?” You spoke English most of the time, although you knew Na’vi as well, but a lot of the words you spoke were new to Neteyam - he was a fast learner, though, and he loved it when you explained anything to him. It was better than when the scientists did, except auntie Jo. He loved auntie Jo.

“It’s where good people go after they die, at least that’s what mummy said about Earth people.”

Neteyam shook his head minutely. “No, people go with Eywa after they die! Everybody knows that!”

“So, maybe Heaven is where Eywa is?”

You both thought about it a long time, focused expressions on both your faces.

“That sounds about right! But why is it here?”

You thought about that for a while too. “I think Heaven looks different for different people. But this can be our heaven! Yours and mine!”

“Just you and me?”

“Just you and me.”

Neteyam liked the idea of that, that there would be a place for only you two, for the rest of time.

Neteyam’s attention shifted back from his own little world into this one, although it barely felt like anything changed, as two little kids ran straight into the clearing, a little human girl chasing a blue boy. Why was his mind making him see the same thing twice, why was this all so real, it was like it was taken from his imagination and placed into the physical world?

“Kalin, wait uuup! I’m smaller than you and I have tiny legs! You are being mean, brother!”

Kalin? Brother?

“Tsy, you’re the one that asked me to not go easy on you.”

“Well, that’s what mother told me to say. She said it’s called feminism.”

“What’s feminism?”

“What do I know? I’m six.”

Neteyam was taken aback at the interaction, and at these kids that he has never seen before, whose names didn’t sound familiar to him at all. And the little girl… there’s no other human children on Pandora, haven’t been since… well, you. Could they be new children the humans brought with them? But the scientists always said the reason Spider wasn’t sent back was because you cannot put babies in the contraptions humans used to travel. He sat there, unmoving, just taking it all in, studying these two children carefully, with intense curiosity. His eyes widened and mouth opened before he even realised, as he observed the girl more carefully. She was human… but she had white freckles, freckles like all the Na’vi did… and she had a queue. A queue…

Her hair was dark and thick, braided and ornate, with beads and feathers, and her eyes, they were yellow, like his, but the shape, just like the shape of her nose and mouth… she looked like you. The boy was taller and blue, like he was, but his eyes and nose looked… human, nothing like a Na’vi, and Neteyam was reminded a lot of Kiri, how she looked even more human than an Avatar. As he was laughing at his little sister, Neteyam saw the boy… Kalin, was it? He didn’t have fangs, either. His hair was long and wavy, a different colour than the rest of the Na’vi had, and he was wearing it down, flowing gently and glowing in the sun.

Neteyam’s heart was about to explode out of his chest as the realisation slowly hit him, and as he shifted a little towards them, struggling to keep himself steady on the ground, the sounds his body made attracted the attention of the two little beings in front of him, who both gasped loudly and smiled widely at his presence.

“DADDY! YOU’RE HERE!”

They both ran with all their might straight into his body, which - at the contact as well as the overwhelming feelings that enveloped him whole - fell straight to the ground with a loud thud, and which Kalin and Tsyeym started attacking mercilessly with tickles and kisses.

“WE MISSED YOU, DAD!”

No. No. No.

This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be the end.

You felt like you just woke up, like your brain rewired and restarted. What the fuck were you doing? You were a medic. You were a scientist. You had a fucking medical bag full of supplies and equipment and so much shit you worked so hard to learn to use, to bring here with you. And you were just going to let your mate die? Without even trying? No. No fucking way.

You got up from the ground, like the ground burned you, and ran to Neyn, where you picked up the large bag that always resided on her, and moved it next to Neteyam’s body. You pushed away the tears forming silently at his unmoving form, trying not to dwell on it too much. He’s just sleeping. He’s just sleeping. Your mate, your best friend and the love of your life, the man you hoped would be the father of your children one day, he’s just sleeping.

You searched the bag, hurried and crazed, and found the strips of gauze you were looking for. You removed them from their sterile wrappings and screamed at Tsireya, who was looking at you panicked, not understand what was happening. You cringed a little at her face, a crying, blubbering mess, and tried to push the thoughts out of your mind. He’s just sleeping. Just sleeping. You looked around for Lo’ak, or Jake, or anyone else, but they were all gone. Where was Lo’ak? Where did he go again? You needed him and he was gone. You growled loudly, but didn’t say anything else on the subject, turning your full attention to Tsireya.

“I need you to help me keep him upright for a while, I need to bandage his wounds. Can you do that?”

She was confused, the emotion very obvious on her face. “Y-yes, I can, but… but… he’s d-“

“Tsireya.” You hissed lowly, fangs barring menacingly. He was sleeping. Just sleeping. “Can you help me or not?”

She nodded furiously, and you knew she would help in any way she could. She was a good kid. She’ll make a good Tsa’hik one day.

“Alright.” You helped her bring his torso up, and you waited for her to rearrange so that she could keep his much larger body in the position you needed her to. You grabbed the large bandage and rolled it around his body, tying it as tightly as you possibly could, cursing under your breath that no one else was here, knowing that Jake could have tightened it better than you could. You needed as much pressure as possible, needed the wounds to stop bleeding. You were trying not to think about how much blood he’s already lost. All that mattered at the moment was that his heart started beating again. You were the same blood type, you could give him blood, but all the blood in the world wouldn’t do anything without a heart to pump it through his body.

Once you were happy with how wrapped his body was, you motioned for Tsireya to lay him back on the ground, which she did, slowly and carefully - which you appreciated. You straddled him, knees on either side of his abdomen and placed the heel of your hand over his chest. You placed your other hand on top of the first, and intertwined your fingers together, starting to pump his chest rhythmically, putting all your effort into it.

“Tsireya, I need you to look in the bag and find a red little case, like a basket. When you find it, bring it to me, fast.”

She took off immediately, ready and committed to do whatever it took to help. You continued the CPR, not stopping for a second, mind running a thousand miles a minute. The fight or flight finally overtook you, and you knew now you would do whatever it took to bring Neteyam back. Because you had to. Because there was no other option. Because you have both suffered enough. You deserved a soft epilogue. You were both good people, and you suffered enough.*

“Here it is!” She brought it next to you, flinging it from side to side in front of your face.

“Good. Now I need you to open it, you see that string? That’s called a zipper. Just pull on it and it should come apart in two.”

Once she did that, you saw the defibrillator come into view and you sighed a small breath of relief. You were exhausted, sweat dripping from your forehead and onto Neteyam’s chest.

“I need you to put this on him. I will walk you through it, I will tell you what to do, but you have to do it, do you understand me?”

She looked uncomfortably from side to side. “B-but, I.. you should do it.”

“I can’t do it, Tsireya. Please. I know this it strange to you, and new and unnatural, and I am sorry, but I need to do this. We need to do this.” You let out a pained cry. “I need to save him. I can save him.”

Your voice rang in the forest all around him, surrounding the meadow and filling his ears, hauntingly beautiful and serene, and he was overwhelmed at the voice, that he missed so much, that he felt like he was just hearing for the first time.

Where the North wind meets the sea

There's a river full of memory

Sleep, my darling, safe and sound

For in this river, all is found

Neteyam struggled to understand what was going on, but, as he was being tackled by the children that just called him dad, the children that bore a striking resemblance to both you and him, he allowed himself to be pushed to the ground and he felt his heart swell to twice its size at the feeling of warmth that enveloped him. As he tightened his arms around the little boy and girl, he realises he knows them. He knows them, has known them every moment of their lives. He has loved them every moment of their lives.

“Parultsyìp! (Children!)”

Memories flooded his being, of your beautiful body, now a bit bigger than he remembered, caressing your pregnant belly tenderly as he placed small kisses all over it; you laughed loudly as the action made you ticklish, and brought your hand to the back of his head, patting him gently, playing with his braids. Memories of Kalin being born, a strange sight, seeing the blue baby come out of his very human mate, but the happiest day of his life. Memories of Mo’at telling you you’re pregnant again, and the shock that overtook you both, then the immense joy that followed seeing his baby girl for the first time, so tiny and absolutely perfect. The first communion with Eywa, their pocket-sized queues connecting to the Spirit Tree, the whole tribe and the scientists, all there to celebrate the Olo’eyktan and Tsakarem, as well as their new happy family. Putting them to sleep every night, neither of them able to slumber without hearing your voice singing softly in their ears. The years passing, but not the passion and love you shared, still obsessed with each other, still going at it like crazed teenagers, like you did ever since you first mated. Images of Lo’ak being the best uncle, and Neteyam having panic attacks every time he would twist and throw his kids in the air like they were helicopter propellers. His mother and father both holding each one of the kids in their arms, cooing and rocking them softly, crying when Tsy wrapped her tiny hand around his mother’s pinky. Kalin’s first word, sweets, since that was what you always called him, and Tsyeym’s, fuck, curtesy of Lo’ak and Spider’s babysitting, which Neteyam prohibited afterwards, and although you tried to hide it - you found it a little funny. All of these things and more, 8 years of memories, of love and care, of adoration and awe, all overwhelming, all pulsating through Neteyam’s mind like electrical shocks, waking him like from a nightmare.

“Neteyam?”

When his amber eyes reopened, the kids were gone, much to his dismay, but he was comforted by the sight of you, his beautiful love, his beautiful light.

“Atan!”

Your human face looked scared, and confused, and sad, but Neteyam couldn’t care less, not when he felt like he hasn’t seen you in a lifetime, not when the only thing he wanted to do was kiss you, like Dean kissed Rory in that episode of Gilmore Girls you loved. He didn’t think twice about your size, about how in your human body, you were as tall as a Na’vi girl, how even in the forest, your face was unencumbered by the weight of your oxygen mask. He didn’t think of anything, because none of it matter outside of you, outside of you and him and the love you shared.

He ran to you, watching as every step made the ground glow in lustrous pastel colours and he smiled as he picked you up by your thighs and lifted you, pushing you to the tree your body was close to until your back hit it and you wrapped your legs around his hips. Your hands found his face and hair, like they always did, and your body melted into him, slowly relaxing, giving him a dazzling smile that took his breath away.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Atan.”

The kiss was everything he needed and more, more than he could ever dream in this life and the next and everything that came after. It was hot and needy and desperate, and you were clinging to each other like you never wanted to let go, and he’d be damned if he ever would again.

Tsireya took a look at your disheveled figure, putting all your effort into your chest compressions, and she nodded, determination overtaking any other emotion on her face.

“Tell me what to do.”

“Alright. In the pouch, there is the little device with a human drawn on it. You see that blue lever, just pull on it, until the cover comes off.”

She did as she was told, and let out an excited yelp when what you told her would happen, happened.

“I did it!”

“That’s great, Tsireya. Now, inside, there are two pieces of… paper… yes, that’s right. I need you to look at the drawing on them, and remove the yellow film that is on them, and put the white strips on Neteyam’s body, exactly how it shows you in the picture. Make sure you press them down properly.”

She manoeuvred around you so she can do what you told her, and eventually, the pads were on. It was up to the little contraption to do its job now. Neteyam’s life was in its tiny, inanimate hands.

“Neteyam, stop.”

“No, Atan, I can’t stop. I need you, I need you so badly.”

Neteyam felt you push him away, the same expression as earlier marring your beautiful face. You looked…scared.

“Neteyam, why are you here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Fuck… if you’re here… that means… Shit.”

Neteyam watched as you removed yourself from him, and no matter how disappointed, he helped put you back onto the ground. You put distance in between you, which Neteyam dreaded, and you were pacing around, seemingly out of your mind with worry.

“No… it can’t be.”

“What is going on, Atan? You’re scaring me.”

“Neteyam, you can’t be here. You have to go. What is the last thing you remember?”

Neteyam thought long and hard about it. Nothing… he couldn’t remember anything. He can remember moving to the Metkayina, and learning to swim. He can remember the beauty of the reef, he can remember you, hair blowing gracefully in the humid wind as you took to the new culture, he can remember a magical celebration where people danced and sang. That’s about it.

“I can’t remember much… I just woke up here, back home. I walked through the clearing and saw our kids. Our kids, Atan! They are so beautiful, they look so much like both of us. They look exactly like what I imagined them to ever since I fell in love with you! I can’t believe I’m back home, I can’t believe this is happening. I thought I’d never be back here.”

Your mouth fell slightly agape, looking somewhere behind him, and you looked like you were trying to process everything he was telling you.

“…Kids… Our kids… you saw our kids?”

“Yes, they were right there, laughing and chasing each other, just like we used to do, in the exact place we used to. It’s everything I have ever wanted, ever since the moment I knew how deeply and irrevocably in love with you I was, all I wanted was this. That moment right there, this moment right here.”

Neteyam saw your lips quiver, trembling trying to keep in the tears that were threatening to spill out. Your brows were furrowed and you were looking at him in disbelief, like nothing about this made sense, like what he was feeling was wrong, and Neteyam couldn’t understand. He was finally home. You finally guided him home.

You closed the distance in between you and pulled him into a hug, a tight hug that he immediately reciprocated.

“I love you so much. I have missed you so much.” You were sobbing in his chest now, hot tears trickling down his torso.

“But I need you to try to remember. You have to remember.”

Neteyam’s words caught in his throat as a loud boom almost knocked him to the ground, shaking the whole clearing, and he found it hard keeping upright. His first instinct, as it always was, was to shield you, so he grabbed your body in his and pushed you to the ground, towering over you with his body.

“What is happening?”

The world was losing focus around him, the edges of the clearing blurred and disappearing slowly from view.

“Atan, what is happening?”

You looked at him, eyes wide and he saw you shaking your head almost imperceptibly, biting on the inside of your lip aggressively. He brought his hand up to your face and caressed your lips softly with his thumb, tugging a little so you stopped hurting yourself.

“What is it, Atan? What can’t you tell me? Why am I here? Why are we here?”

“I’m here for you, Neteyam. You have to remember.”

Neteyam was trying so hard, thinking so hard whilst the world was seemingly falling apart around him, around you both, and the only thing he could think of, the only think he knew, is that he didn’t want to leave you. He didn’t want to leave the meadow, or the kids. He was home, finally. He could finally live.

“I will try to remember, Atan. I am not leaving you, I am not going anywhere. I will protect you and the kids. We’re never going to be apart again.”

You seemed pained at his words, but said no more as another quake shook the ground you were laying on.

You watched as Neteyam’s body jerked violently for a second time, with no response. The deep fear and anguish, the dark thoughts were slowly creeping up on you again, as your mate wasn’t coming back to life, and it seemed again all efforts, all your hope was easily being dragged out to sea, out into the abyss, along your sanity and future.

“Please, please fuck! Please, just work. Goddamn it!”

You continued CPR in between shocks, praying, begging Eywa for a chance. Please, Great Mother, you can’t do this. I’m begging you, please. Please!

Beep. Beep. Beep.

As you felt his heart beating in his chest again and heard it on the AED, you felt as if yours started beating again too. You stopped the chest compressions and moved your head close to his face, trying to see if he was breathing. A soft, subtle puff of air was being released from his nose every couple of seconds and you saw in shock as wet drips were falling on his beautiful, ethereal face.

Acid rain leaking from your eyes, pouring like tropical storms, never-ending, all-powerful and you couldn’t stop, couldn’t make them stop. You were wailing, crying harder than you ever have before as the man you loved came back from the dead, as his heartbeat was weak, but nevertheless present on your fingertips that were pushing against his throat, as your other hand went to his cheek that you caressed, trying to figure out if this was real, if he was really back. Your wails were so loud they were hurting your ears, but you couldn’t stop, you couldn’t make yourself stop, all you felt was enormous, earth-shattering grief, all the sorrow you suppressed flooding all of your senses, clouding your mind, pushing anything else down, melting it into the ground. The ache was coursing through your veins, poisoning every cell in your body until the was nothing left but this - it. You should be happy, you should be relieved, but as you watched the man you have known, you have loved every single day of your unpredictable, crazy, mercurial life, you realised how close he was, how close you were to losing him forever, to losing everything that kept you sane, kept you going.

You saw it all: washing his dead body, preparing him for the funeral, removing his bracelet, the bracelet that signified your love and your bond, the family dressed in mournful garbs, having to let him go, giving his body to the ocean, having to sing his songcord one last time, never being able to see him again, only having to settle for scraps, for a memory, or for a vision at the Spirit Tree. You saw yourself, a widow forever, never being able to move on, never being able to be happy, ever again, because he was happiness, and he was everything and he was gone. You saw your future - never having children, because if they weren’t his - what was the point? You saw his family, ruptured and torn apart by the loss of their son, their sibling, their hero, their best friend. You saw Lo’ak, carrying the guilt for the rest of his life, rebelling against his father, going on a dark path it was near impossible to turn him back from. You saw Neytiri, broken after another loss, the worst loss a mother could ever feel, never fully recovering, never truly being the same again. You saw Tuk and Kiri withdraw into themselves, the light they carried with them everywhere they went snuffed out at the calamitous loss. You saw it all and it killed you, it gutted you from the inside out.

But he was here. He was still here. Everything you saw, every nightmare your mind made you watch, laughing as you suffered, revelling in it, like it always was, it was just that - a nightmare. A parallel universe you never had to live through. Because he was here. He’s just sleeping.

You knew you didn’t have time to waste. You had to go back, you had to warm his body and clean his wounds, you had to remove any scraps the bullet left behind in his organs, you had to give him blood. There was still too much to do, and he needed you. You didn’t have time to fully fall apart just yet.

“Tsireya, we need to take him back to the village, we need to go, now. Just help me put him on Neyn, please.”

“I…I’ve never been on an Ikran before.”

If you weren’t so dazed and out-of-your-mind, you would have scoffed at that.

“Oh, I think you have, too.”

You didn’t have to look at the Metkayina girl to feel the embarrassment in her cheeks and her tail swish vigorously.

“I’ll make sure your parents know this is the first time, ok? I’m a great liar. Just please get on.”

Between the two of you, you managed to place Neteyam’s still unmoving, still unconscious body on your beautiful banshee, and you all got on, trying your best to cage his body so that he wouldn’t fall.

“I’ll tell her to go slow and steady, just hold on to her kuru (queue) and you’ll be fine.”

Ok, sweet girl. We have to get back. Please go gently. Hurry.

Neyn trilled in your direction, and you can tell she was worried and stressed through the bond. You didn’t know if it was just a mirror of your own mind or if she was feeling it too. Neyn loved Neteyam. He was always nice to her, and considerate and attentive. Neyn also loved Seze, and the thought of Seze being without her chosen Na’vi, being alone, the rest of her life, hurt Neyn. It hurt you, too. It hurt you so badly, in fact, your body was convulsing slightly, pain deep within your abdomen, that almost made your ikran lose her focus, and she wobbled a little midair, which made Tsireya scream.

“It’s alright, you’re ok. We’re ok.”

You rushed to your marui as soon as Neyn landed and you saw Seze make her way to you as well. Poor girl. You and Neteyam might not have a spirit brother like Lo’ak now did, but these two, they were it for you. You and Neteyam had a bond with your ikran that transcended time, space and species, and you would never be able to replace them, as long as you lived.

The first thing you needed was blood. He needed blood. You got out an empty blood bag and the tube, as well as a needle and syringe. You’d have to work fast, and you’d have to operate on him while the blood was being withdrawn, which will hurt, but you had to take the risk, he didn’t have much time.

“Tsireya, listen to me. I need to give Neteyam blood. My blood. I need you to take that little ribbon and tighten it around my arm, below my bracelet. It needs to be so tight it hurts, do you understand? When I tell you, you need to remove it. Then, as soon as I put the needle in and the blood starts flowing, we will need to clean him and I will patch him up, ok?”

Tsireya looked lost and trembling, her bottom lip quivering uncontrollably, but she nodded meekly, looking around at all the things she did not understand or know, deep panic on her features.

“Good girl.” As soon as she did what you asked, you found a vein and watched as deep, violent red liquid flowed softly from your body to the bag. The Metkayina girl gasped, but said nothing, just looking at the blood like in a trance, removing the tourniquet when you told her.

“It’s ok. This will help him. But we need to hurry. It takes about ten minutes for it to fill, maybe a bit longer since I will be using my arm at the same time.”

You got to work immediately, cleaning and disinfecting the area where he lay, prepping all of your tools and asking Tsireya to be your scrub nurse for the day. You cleaned his body, bloodied and bruised, trying to not focus on how it was making you nauseous, making your mind sick and dizzy with worry and pain, and you knew you shouldn’t be doing this. You were too emotionally involved to be the one doing this, but there was no one else. Not Norm, not Max. Not Claire, or Tim, no one else. You took the scalpel and made a cut into his skin, asking Tsireya to cauterise wherever she saw bleeds. She was naturally good at this, you noted and you smiled at this girl who has only known you and Neteyam for a few months and yet here she was, crying and shaking, doing everything in her power to save your family from harm. You knew Lo’ak was a big reason for it, but not the only reason. You really liked her.

You diligently removed all the shards and shrapnel the bullet left behind, and sutured every layer until his back was patched up. Somehow, the bullet missed his heart, and the main arteries, which you felt was Eywa’s doing. It had to be. Eywa wanted him to live, she had to. Because this wasn’t balance. Nothing about your lives has ever been balanced, and it would take a lot of good to equilibrate all the fucked up shit both you and him, your entire family has been through. So Neteyam had to live.

Once the blood bag was full, you removed the needle from your body and got up, realising quickly you shouldn’t be standing up, falling to the ground with a thud. Shit. You once again had to turn to Tsireya for help, and she managed to hang the bag somewhere above you, so that the liquid could flow freely into Neteyam’s body. You waited until you turned him chest up, and then inserted the needle, allowing the blood to move through his now beating heart. Your blood. Your blood ran through his body, through his heart. Your blood will save him, like your hands did, like your body had to. You were about to collapse after losing so much, but knowing you were the reason he was still here empowered you. It was just you and him. Just you and him, in this whole world, for the rest of time.

It was hard having to turn him upside down without disturbing him or hurting him further, but eventually you and Tsireya managed to, and you did the same procedure on his chest, until that was also completely closed and clean. Your hands were trembling, and your suture ruptured a few times in his body, and it took every ounce of self-restrain you had to not cry, not to collapse in a puddle on the floor, to not scream in agony, not ask the Universe what the hell could you have ever done to deserve going through all of this? Nobody should have to go through having to lose a dad and a mate in one day, no one should have to fight tooth and nail to keep them from crossing to the other side, to patch their brokenness, whilst yours flourished and bloomed like deadly nightshade. You had to endure more in 19 years than most people do in their lives, more grief embellished your being than there were beads adorning Na’vi bodies. You were feeling sorry for yourself, and for once in your life, you didn’t want to stop, you didn’t want to have to pull yourself back together, you didn’t want to be strong anymore. You were tired.

When you finished, you were spent, hours upon hours passing you by. You felt pain in your body everywhere, kicking at your insides like a monster waiting to crawl out of you with every push. You were cramping and the whole world turned around you, and you knew you were going to pass out from exhaustion. You went to your mat, anxiety enveloping you in knowing there was nothing else you could possibly do for Neteyam at the moment, and called for your turquoise friend.

“Tsireya, when…if… the family gets back, you tell them they need to call Norm and Max. Tell them they need to get here as soon as possible. I can’t do this by myself.” You felt the world dissolving before you as you spoke, and allowed it to fully dissipate away from view, embracing the feeling of nothingness, because nothing meant no pain, and no images of your dead mate, and your dead dad, and you were happy with that.

You woke up in a daze, faintly recognising the slur of voices blending together into one indistinctive blabber, that you tried with your whole might to decipher. You tried to open your eyes, but they were so heavy it felt like lifting weights back in the lab complex as a human. Eventually, your senses recovered and you were able to both see and hear the Sullys, as well as Norm and Max chatting to each other, huddled over Neteyam’s body.

“She’s awake!” Tuk’s voice startled you, and seeing her approaching you excitedly tugged at your heart. My Tuk-tuk…

“Oh, Great Mother, thank you! Ma ‘ite!” Neytiri crouched next to your limp body and hugged you, and you winced as every part of you she was touching hurt. You saw scratches and bruises all over your body from the battle, that you were too preoccupied to notice before.

“Sa’nok.” She sobbed in your chest, releasing all the anguish of thinking she has lost two kids in one night. “I’m ok, sa’nok. I’m here.”

“You saved him! You saved him, I thought we lost him! I thought I lost him!” Her cries were ringing painfully in your ear, the sadness in them close to tearing you apart.

“Is he…?”

Jake came over and kneeled next to you, tears in his own eyes. The whole family looked exhausted, spent, physically and mentally, and you counted them quickly, sighing deeply when you found them all to be here, in the tent.

“He’s still asleep, kid. What happened?”

“I should ask you the same thing.”

You moved next to Neteyam, holding his hand, just needing to feel him, and his now much stronger pulse, and spent the next while explaining everything you have had to do and watched as their mouths got progressively more agape in shock. Then they watched yours do the same as Jake told you what happened on the ship.

“He’s dead, kid. He’s finally dead. Whatever else happens, at least Quaritch will never haunt this family ever again.”

Your eyes immediately moved to Spider, and you felt a tinge of sadness for the boy who also had to lose his father, just like you have. No matter what, no matter what atrocities this man committed, you knew better than most than the love doesn’t go away, it runs deep and the water of an underwater cavern, hidden from view and light, but there, nevertheless. You were surprised, though, when upon looking at him, you saw him shifting uncomfortably, looking everywhere but you and your family, picking at his cuticles. It was a bad habit you shared, but one that gave away nervousness, anxiety - guilt. What the hell did you do, Spider?

“How long have I been out?”

“About a day?”

You turned to Max and Norm, who were dutifully listening to everything, and you could tell how overwhelming it all was to them, how crazy and mind numbing and revolting. But it was life, your life. Your life.

“How is he?”

All of the attention shifted back onto Neteyam, who looked like he was resting. He looked… happy. Peaceful. You hoped whatever he was going through, it was better than this abusive reality, and you hope he could finally rest, until he was ready to come back to you.

“He’s in a coma, Ace.” You gasped a little, and another stabbing pain shot through you. “Look here.” He rose the portable EEG he had in his hands and scanned Neteyam’s brain from a distance.

Your breath stopped as you took in the information on the screen.

“He’s in a hypoxic-ischaemic coma.”

“W-what does that mean?”

You gulped loudly before you answered Jake.

“It means that his brain didn’t have enough oxygen after his heart stopped.” What you didn’t want to tell him is how few people actually come back from that, and come back the same way they left. You exchanged a look with Norm and saw the imperceptible head shake he gave in your direction, and once again, felt pain stabbing you everywhere in your body.

“B-but he’ll be alright, no? He’ll wake up and it’ll be alright?”

You lied to yourself as much as to them. “Yes. Yes, he’ll be alright.”

Neteyam woke up startled, deep nightmares still fresh in his mind, nightmares of a battle, of a ship, of blood dripping over him and on the floor, pain shooting through him ceaselessly. Images of his mother screaming that haunted him, images of your forlorn face as the last thing on his mind before it all ended. He breathed a sigh of relief as he took in the familiar beauty of your meadow and took in the two small bodies resting against his own, nuzzled in his chest. He was ok. Everything was ok. He was home, his kids were safe. The voice humming peacefully blessed his ears, and he knew then that you were also safe. It was just a nightmare.

He quietly untangled himself from his kids’ grasps, that ended up cuddling each other back to sleep, paying little mind to their dad. He took in the sight that swelled his heart so much he felt it was going to explode out of his chest. He has never been happier. He couldn’t imagine life getting any better.

“I didn’t know if you’d come back.” Your voice was soft and angelic, like it always was, but your words confused him.

“What do you mean? Where else would I go?”

You sighed, but patted the spot next to you so he could join you. You looked over at the two little beings sleeping peacefully a few feet from you.

“So these are our kids, huh?”

Further confusion enwrapped Neteyam like a quilt. He didn’t understand most words that were coming out of your mouth.

“So you want two kids? Not three? I always thought you wanted a whole football team.” You say almost to yourself, laughing a little with your hand brought to your mouth in amusement.

“Atan, what is going on? I don’t understand what you are saying. You’re acting like you don’t know our kids.”

You smiled a little in his direction, a sorrowful smile, but as you brought your hand up to his face and caressed his cheek in the way you always did, in the way that calmed his mind and set his skin ablaze, all the worry left him.

“They’re beautiful. So beautiful. Perfect mix of you and me. You know, I used to think about our kids, think about the impossible scenario that you and me could bring life into this crazy world, but they’re so much better than my imagination ever was. Pure and good, unlike the world they’ll never get to see.”

Neteyam didn’t have time to question you, not when the little bundles of joy in question rose sleepily and tackled you both, squeals and happy screams filling up the forest.

“Mummy! Daddy! You’re both here! We missed you, mum!”

“Did you, now?” Neteyam looked at you, and you looked like you were struggling to adjust to the new development, like you were trying to thread the ground and the situation carefully. You looked…uncomfortable. Why were you uncomfortable around your own children? Neteyam’s seen you with Tuk a million times, you were great with children. He couldn’t help the seed of doubt and fear that was growing in his belly, making him nervous. What was going on?

“Let’s swim, all of us! We haven’t swam together in a long time!” Tsyeym pushed to her feet and grabbed you both with all her might, trying to will you towards the river. He watched as you relented, and eventually got up, grabbing her on the way and bringing her up into your arms.

“Wait a second. Let me have a look at you.” You analysed the little girl, your little girl, every feature and freckle on her face. You poked her small nose with your index finger and traced it on her face, on her perfect pink plush lips and her yellow eyes, to her braided hair. You gently grabbed her queue and laughed a little as Tsyeym shrieked - it tickled her. “So you’re my little baby girl? You are the most beautiful thing in the world, aren’t you?” You turned to Neteyam, and he noticed you holding back tears. You looked happy. “She has my eyes. My mother’s eyes.”

Neteyam nodded, confusion still gnawing at him. “Of course she does. Your eyes are the most incredible things I have ever seen in my life. They are like treasures - my treasures.”

“Just like she is.” You held her against your chest and Neteyam watched as his daughter made a home out of it, so stuck to you he didn’t think he could ever separate you again.

“Tsyeym (treasure). That should be her name.”

“Atan… that is her name.”

“And what about this mighty warrior?” Kalin ran to his mother, grabbing onto your leg and holding on, attaching himself to you much like Tsyeym did. You kneeled, with Tsy still in your arms, and did a similar inspection of his son as you just did a few minutes ago. You took him by the hand and twirled him around, taking in every aspect of his being. “Look at this hair! My hair. Tsyeym has your hair, but he has mine. And look at those stripes, just like mummy and daddy, like a little tiger. Come here.” You kissed his entire face, starting with his nose and all around, ending with his human-coloured eyes and the top of his head.

“Why do you taste so sweet? You’re a sweetie pie, aren’t you? You’re mine, my sweet.”

You looked up at Neteyam, like you just had the most brilliant idea. “Kalin!! His name has to be Kalin (Sweet to the taste)!”

Why did you keep doing that? Those were their names, their names you gave them at birth. He was going to ask you what the hell was going on with you, when a loud sound boomed in the sky. It sounded like thunder, but not quite. It must have been thunder, what else could it be? The kids screaming got his undivided attention, and he rushed to their side to comfort them both, grabbing Kalin is his arms and holding him while he saw you doing the same with your baby girl.

“Shh, it’s alright. It’s alright, we’re alright.”

“What was that?”

“My love, you need to remember. Please. I’m here for you.”

“I know you are, Atan. I just don’t know what you want me to remember. Can you please tell me?”

“I can’t, Neteyam. You have to figure it out yourself. You have to try harder. We don't have a lot of time. Please. I am here for you.”

The river adventure removed the anxiety rising in Neteyam’s chest, and he concluded the boom he heard was just particularly nasty thunder. Thunderstorms were not uncommon in the forest, and the sooner his babies got used to them and realised they were nothing to be afraid of - the better. There was no reason to let it come between them and the perfect day they were having. After a couple hours, you were all soaked, so much laughter and joy Neteyam’s mouth hurt from how much it was stretching to accommodate the unwavering smile refusing to leave his face. Eventually, his family was all too tired to go on, and you all stretched on the grass, huddled together, arms and legs intertwined so thoroughly, it was impossible to tell who was who anymore.

“Mummy, can you sing for us? It’s nap time!”

“Is it nap time already? Sure, sweets. I can sing.”

In her waters, deep and true

Lie the answers and a path for you

Dive down deep into her sound

But not too far or you'll be drowned

“Neteyam…” you were hunched over your mate’s body, alone with just him, alone at last to pour your soul out and hope he would hear you, hope there was a chance. You had to try.

“Neteyam… please. I know you are in pain, and I know how much this life takes and takes from you. I know you’re probably at peace wherever you are, but you can’t leave me. I can’t do this without you. I know it’s selfish, so selfish, but I need you to please come back to me. I love you so much, and I’m trying so hard, but you have to come back. I can’t live knowing all I’ll ever get is scraps of you, scraps of us. Not after everything we’ve been through. Not after I’ve seen the future, so clear and bright in my head. Not after knowing everything I’ll lose if I lose you.”

You walked to the edge of the platform and sat down next to your favourite two scientists, that you were so happy to see, and so sad it was always under such undesirable circumstances.

“How is he?”

“Pretty much the same.” You dunked your feet in the water with a sigh, looking at the way the fish swam in between them, some of them tickling you as they went past.

“How are you? We didn’t even get to give you a check and make sure everything’s alright. You gave him a lot of blood.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I did what I had to do.”

“You saved his life, Ace. He was dead and you brought him back to life. You did it.”

“Maybe. Maybe I just revived his heart so he could be a vegetable for the rest of time. Maybe all I did is prolong the inevitable and give his family false hope.”

“Don’t say that. He’ll wake up.”

You rolled your eyes and huffed annoyed in Max’s direction.

“Come on, Max. We’re all scientists here. What are the chances someone comes back from hypoxic-ischaemic coma? Roughly 70% of people die. And of the 30% that make it, most of them have severe brain damage, that impacts most aspects of their lives.”

“That’s human statistics, Ace. Human statistics have no business here on Pandora. You know that. You of all people should know that. You died. You were without oxygen for 30 minutes, and you came back, after chatting to your mum in the afterlife and her telling you the cure for a deadly virus. You should have faith, Ace. Faith in yourself, in Neteyam…faith in Eywa.”

You couldn’t take another word on the subject, not when you were so close to fully breaking down in front of them, so you chose another - easier to digest, if not as hard to talk about.

“Did Jake and Neytiri go get my dad?”

“Yes. They all went. They should be back soon.”

“Lo’ak said you… went to save him. What happened?”

“He… he’s not who I thought he was. Not who I spent my whole life hating. I was wrong about him. I was so wrong.”

You told them everything that happened after he left you the message, and they listened attentively and gasped softly at every turn of events.

“I… I couldn’t save him. He bled out in front of me. I will never get a chance to make it right. He’ll never get a chance to make it right. I wanted him to stay. I thought we could finally be a family. I thought I could allow him to finally have a daughter, a daughter that stays, a daughter that he got to watch live. I wanted him to be a grandpa. I imagined him teaching my kids about Earth, babysitting when Neteyam and I wanted time for ourselves. I don’t know why, but I feel like he would have been the best grandpa. He saved us, he saved me. He was redeeming himself, he could have been one of the people. We were supposed to be a family. I was supposed to have a family.”

You didn’t even realise you were crying until Norm reached over and wiped the tears off your face with his thumb. They didn’t have anything to say. There was nothing, no comforting words, no words of encouragement that would ever mend this, that would ever make this less painful than it was.

Your attention shifted onto the Tsurak that flew above water, a burst of orange in a sea of blue. Behind it were a couple of ilu and in the air, Neytiri’s ikran was flying majestically.

Jake reached your marui first, followed closely by the rest of the Sullys. You got up to help him unload your dad’s body, wrapped beautifully in mangrove leaves and colourful shroud and placed on a stretcher made out of woven tree branches.

He was hidden from you, but it didn’t matter - your imagination was more than enough to paint him right in front of your mind’s eye, bloated and bloodied, wet and dirty from having been left on a rock for 2 days. You just left him there. By himself. You passed out and left your own dad to rot, the same way he did the first time - alone. Your mind was torturing you, the way it always loved to, and you knew this image would be tattooed in your brain, alongside that of Neteyam’s eyes going vacant as you watched, for as long as you lived. No matter how much you healed, no matter how much old nightmares faded, there were always new ones to take their place, new nightmares to show you you will never outrun your trauma. Not now, not soon, not for the rest of your life.

“We talked to Tonowari and Ronal, baby girl. We explained, we told them what Lo’ak and Spider told us, about how your dad fought alongside us, how he saved your lives, and he will be allowed a Metkayina funeral. This way he will be with Eywa.”

Your tears that never ceased multiplied, and you couldn’t help the sob that escaped your lips.

“Thank you.” You ran into Jake’s arms and he hugged you tightly, stroking your hair gently in a comforting gesture. “Thank you so much. Thank you.”

“Of course, kid. Your dad was a good man, and he deserves to be with your mother again.”

You brought him to the Tsahik’s tent, and watched as they undid all the wrappings, until he was in view, and although not as bad as you imagined, he didn’t look good. You knew decomposition worked faster in water than on land, but you never thought you’d have to witness it first hand, and definitely not with your dad.

“Go, kid. We can clean him up.”

You shook your head, not removing your eyes from his body. You left him there, you had to do this.

You knelt on the ground next to him, and Ronal guided you through the required steps and rituals, until he was ready, a few hours later. He looked a lot better when you were done, and you smiled softly, allowing the salty tears to stain your mouth. He looked peaceful. You didn’t think he felt peace in his whole life, so you were at least grateful he could experience it now.

“We will do the funeral ceremony tonight. We will take him to the Cove of the Ancestors after Eclipse.”

Another stabbing pain shot through you, and you wondered how much longer your body would keep going under this amount of strenuous stress. How long until all this heartbreak broke your body down beyond repair?

You returned to your tent, getting ready for the ceremony, allowing your family to paint you in funeral markings, allowing them to dress you in ceremonial garbs, an ornate shawl covering your shoulders - all while you were holding Tuk in your lap. You were cold, you noted absentmindedly. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt cold, but there is was - shivers, like ice water in your veins, running down your spine, extending to each extremity, making a home in your bones.

You needed Neteyam. You needed him to be here, you needed him to be your light, to guide you through this time, to hold you and keep you warm as you had to give your dad to the sea, and say goodbye - forever. But he didn’t budge from his spot on the mat, breathing in and out deeply and regularly. He’s just sleeping. Just sleeping.

Neteyam was cold as he woke up from another horrible dream, a similar dream, a deathly dream he couldn’t shake from his mind no matter how much he tried. He kept being pulled in and out of consciousness, it seemed, and he wondered meekly if anything was wrong. Some things felt wrong. Just a little wrong. He took a look at you, buried in his arms, sleeping peacefully next to him, and gasped as your face brought back another dream, so vivid and lucid, it was like it wasn’t a dream at all, like it was a… a memory.

As much as he missed home, Neteyam had to admit little managed to beat waking up in this marui, where the sun was shining through the intricate web of fabrics, creating colourful moving patterns and where the salty air cleared his nose immediately and woke him up with newfound enthusiasm for a new day of discovering all the new ways this place differed from his own. His entire family was fast asleep, and he sighed contently when he felt your breath tickling his neck and your arms and legs draped loosely across his body. He couldn’t help the excited movement of his tail taking you in, knowing he got to wake up next to you every day, that he’d never have to live without this feeling ever again, that he got to call you his mate, his light… his. For life. He kissed the top of you head and watched as you stirred, waking up from your slumber with a haphazard stretch of all your limbs. When your amber eyes met his and your tired smile made its way to your lips, his heart stopped. You were so beautiful.

“Good morning, my love. Did anyone ever tell you it’s ok to not wake up at the crack ass of dawn?”

He smiled, trying to keep quiet so as to not disturb the rest of his family.

“I’m too excited to see you to sleep, Atan.”

You rolled your eyes at him, letting out an amused scoff. He rolled on top of you, pinning you down with his body. You gasped at the feeling of his hard-on rubbing against your core and he smiled at the way your pupils immediately dilated and your breath shallowed, rolling your hips to meet his.

“Atan, it’s the crack ass of dawn, what are you doing?”

“You started it.”

“You’re insatiable, you know that?”

“Hey, I have had to live for years wanting you and not being able to have you. You have a lot to make up for.”

He laughed again and laughed some more when you pressed your hand tightly against his mouth as his mother turned slightly in her sleep.

“How about we go for a swim, just you and me? Then I’ll make it up to you for as long as you like.”

You raised your head slightly to close the gap in between you and the kiss brought life into him, brought light into every corner of his being until there was nothing left of him but this feeling, the feeling of you overtaking his every sense.

He was panting as the dream faded, panic overtaking him. What was that? It felt so real. So raw. Not a dream. A memory. Your amber eyes, your blue striped skin. He looked at the version of you sleeping in his arms, human, the same human he’s known all his life, the human he fell in love with. The skin he traced with his eyes, the freckles adorning it that Neteyam knew by heart, your hair that flowed softly down your back and tickled his arm where it touched it. Your eyes that were your mother’s, the thing you loved most about yourself - that he loved most about you. The body you left behind when you did your consciousness transfer.

How were you here? In his arms? How was it possible?

“My love, you need to remember. Please. I’m here for you.”

Remember what? What couldn’t he remember? Why couldn’t he remember?

“Ace, come here. Look at this.” You were about to leave for your dad’s funeral when Norm pulled you aside, showing you the EEG scanning Neteyam’s brain waves. “Look at it.”

You did and your eyes widened as your brain processed what it was seeing. “He’s… seizing?”

“Those are ictal epileptiform discharges. He’s definitely seizing.”

“But his body is still.”

“Not all seizures manifest the same way. There are non-motor seizures, as well. But the waves don’t lie, Ace. He’s seizing. And we can’t know for sure, because we didn’t see Kiri’s brain when she seized, but I think it’s the same kind of seizures. She had interictal activity in her prefrontal when we got to her.”

Your brain felt like it was short-circuiting taking in all of the information and trying to process it, at the same time as dealing with the horrible pain shooting through you and the heartbreak of having to bury your dad without your mate by your side. The world was fading around you, but you knew you had to push through, at least until the end of the ceremony.

If Neteyam’s seizures were the same as Kiri’s, maybe the coma was a lot more than what they thought, than what you thought. Maybe it has something to do with Eywa. Could it be? That he was trapped, just like your mum had been? Could it be that you could find him? Finally see him again? That you could get him back?

Your body quickly caught up to you as the pain became unbearable, and you screamed loudly without meaning to as you felt cramping in your abdomen, like life was being torn away from you with every second passing. The marui and everyone around it quickly disappeared from view, and you felt yourself collapse to the ground and into deep slumber. Maybe you could finally rest.

You woke up confused and numb. The world slowly came back into focus, as did your family members going in between you and Neteyam, unable to figure out who they should worry for at any current moment. You glanced at your arm and then above you, and said a silent prayer of gratitude for Norm and Max, who decided to give you some morphine for the pain. As Lo’ak took note of your cognisance, he let out a scream that came out more like a pained yelp.

“She’s awake. She’s awake.”

Jake rushed to your side and took your face in both his hands, alarmingly checking on you, eyes darting over every piece of you they could cover. Then a look of deep sorrow replaced his previous one, and you felt the panic rise in you once more, not enough morphine in the world to keep the ugly feeling at bay.

“What happened?” Was Neteyam ok? Was everyone ok? What else could possibly be wrong? It didn’t feel like there was anything in this world that could make this whole ordeal somehow worse.

“You… You passed out, kid.”

Norm’s body was trailing all around you, checking on your vitals and on the other IV you know realised were flowing into your body from various sites.

“Just please tell me. You’re looking at me like you have something to tell me, and I just need to know. Please. I just need to know.”

“I’m so sorry, baby girl. I’m so, so sorry.”

Your entire family encircled you, holding onto you, your arms, your hands, your legs. Looking at you sorrowfully, mournfully, and you felt like you were one sentence away from passing out again.

Max spoke. “The stress… everything you went through the past couple of days, it put a lot of strain on your body. A lot more than it could take.”

“Honey… you had a miscarriage.”

You were wrong, you thought as you felt the consciousness slip away from your grasp once more. There was one thing in this world that could make this whole ordeal somehow worse.

Taglist (thank you ily x) @changing7 @erenjaegerwifee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @winchestertitties @puffb4ll @rebeccao03 @ultimatebluff @cottoncandy23 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @n3t3y4msm4t3 @loquatious-josephi-krakousky @eternallyvenus @fresh-new-yoik-watah @lu-the-ghost-reader @@miawastakens @mm0thie @fanboyluvr @amortencjja @lovekeeho @trixscarlett

*poem by Nikki Ursula - Seventy Years of Sleep #4

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soullessjack · 3 months

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it’s been a hot minute since ive gotten critical but like. To clunkily summarize a lot of shit: the main problems with the babyjack au is that

1) a majority of the fandom have taken it a step beyond just being an au and either insist that it’s actually canon (it’s not) or call you a pdf-file for seeing jack as an adult (which he canonically is considered as). like one of the survey questions mentioned, the idea of jack as a baby is treated as the only acceptable way to view him and you will get pitchforked in the ass if you think differently. that’s what stops it from being a silly au where ppl are just having fun

2) the entire concept of it either banks on making dean and cas domestic dads with a baby-shaped accessory, parentifying dean so he beats the abuser allegations, parentifying cas and sam so they beat the bad dad allegations, etc. jack isn’t the center focus of it at all even tho the au is literally in his name. it’s not about what he wants (he canonically hates being considered a child & it’s narratively only ever used to belittle him) and babies in general are effectively non-characters in any given story bc they inherently lack agency

3) the persistent portrayal of jack as just some baby sitting on Cas’ hips means that his canon self (+ arcs + complexities + trauma) are completely erased & unaddressed bc again, this au literally rests on the premise that jack stops being an autonomous person and is instead essentially there to fix dean and save his marriage to cas.

4) canon age aside (which has been shown to not effect jack being perceived as a young adult by other characters), plenty of ppl in the fandom have pointed out that Jack’s traits & mannerisms are similar to autistic traits & mannerisms, just like Cas. those same traits are often used as an argument for him being “mentally a child,” and I really shouldn’t have to explain how that’s ableist, but this site has let me down on that before so here’s a summary: equating autistic traits & behavior (including unintentionally autistic ones) to childlike/toddler behavior is infantilization and infantilization is a major part/contributor of ableist rhetoric.

*it’s literally the same shit that happened with Entrapta from SPOP if you need another frame of reference. also, you may not be doing it intentionally, you may even be autistic yourself, but that doesn’t make it any less ableist as it is still just regurgitated sugar-coated rhetoric.

5) point number two and point number three both contribute back to, and perpetuate, point number one, and they all swirl around into a little vicious cycle of misinterpretation:

-> jack as a baby is the most persistent portrayal of his character -> his canon character/trauma/arcs/general autonomy are removed & erased in all capacity including fandom discussion -> the baby au becomes seen as “canon” & ergo the only acceptable way to interpret jack ->

*these interpretations also have a bad effect on how TFW are interpreted, based on how they parent jack. ie dean is most prominently considered an abuser or magically redeemed by babyjack, & sam is considered the uncle bc Destiel. cas however usually doesn’t have many criticisms even tho he should but that’s for another post. jack has almost zero autonomy or responsibility in any of his relationships with them bc he’s “just a baby” per the fandom’s interpretation; dare I say he’s not even really considered a part of TFW2.0 more than he is their adorable mascot/pet

capisce?

#TLDR nobody understands jack the right way and nobody wants to either #cal.txt #spn #jack kline #spn critical #spn fandom #baby jack #dean winchester #tfw2.0 #sam winchester #castiel #destiel #fandom critical #fandom discussion #autistic jack kline #fandom ableism #TLDR again it stops being a silly little au when you accuse ppl of being predators for not agreeing with a non canon interpretation

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antiv3nom · 9 days

Note

asuka ask game? pick your favorite one

ok so i do enjoy asuka guiltygear but i have been thinking REALLY hard about asuka tekken as of late so we're talking about her today

also this took me WAY too long to post i apologize but it Is out here so yaaaay

favorite thing about them:

ok so legally i have to mention asuka's tekken 8 design because motherfucker WHAT were they thinking with that one. what the fuck was the inspiration. but i love it so much i cannot lie

other than that, i really enjoy her rivalry with lili and how moderately insane that bit has gotten, and i like how they've kept her a character who is a) defensively focused in her gameplay even among the generally aggressive play of t8, and b) has a generally down-to-earth feel to her despite. Everything. happening in tekken

least favorite thing about them:

so i was actually talking to a friend about this recently and she explained my feelings really well, its like. asuka feels like the protagonist of another story that isnt being told.

it feels like she has so much stuff that COULD be a really interesting plot focus for her but it just. hasnt been? like everything between her and feng COULD be so neat but its just been sort of...by the wayside for the past few games in favor of keeping up with the mishimas (new sitcom there btw)

favorite line:

asuka's quotes are fun but most arent super noteworthy unfortunately? its mostly pretty standard fare for fighting game open and win quotes unforch :( i will say though, i do really enjoy this win line in t8 from her:

It's not good to fight all the time. Well, see ya!

bc like. girl. what do you think youre out here doing rn. girl please

(note: i dont speak japanese so i couldnt say anything towards this, but i wonder if asuka speaks with a kansai accent/dialect in game? her being from osaka and all, itd be a cool little addition)

brOTP:

omg actually ive seen stuff between leo and asuka that's been fun before i really enjoy that, iirc theyre not super close in the main canon but i wanna say in the non-canon webcomic theyre friends? i think thats right? either way its a fun concept

OTP:

asulili...uwoagh........

fellas is it gay to buy your rival's dojo and fill it entirely with roses to get their attention? certainly not. certainly.

i do wish we saw some amount more narrative tension between them since most of it has sort of dissolved by t8 but i do think theyre really cute and as mentioned before i really do enjoy their whole bit its awesome

SHOUTOUT ASULILI WEEK BTW I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO PARTICIPATE BUT I AM HYPED ABOUT ITS EXISTENCE

nOTP:

i do not think i have been around long enough to see another pairing for asuka, let alone one i dislike, so i cannot answer this question LMAO

random headcanon:

spun my mental wheel of headcanon topics and it wouldnt stop spinning for like half an hour unfortunately so im just telling you that i think asuka would play baiken or may in strive

unpopular opinion:

i still havent been here long enough to know whats unpopular regarding her :,) although i think in terms of gameplay i think she's cooler than most people believe, though i do agree that her current iteraiton in t8 isnt very strong within the meta unforch :(

song i associate with them:

i can nigh on guarantee that it's because ive been listening to this song while thinking about her really hard recently but absolute zero by natori (banger btw go watch the music video it goes unbelievably hard), i think the lyrics arent entirely unfitting though!!!

favorite picture of them:

i really like this profile art option for her, the posing is fun and the textures on the clothing are really impressive

and then also i have to mention her preset 3 outfit which i LOVE SO SO MUCH

(apologies as i cant find a better example pic and do not feel like opening t8 at 2 in the morning on this day)

#ask #ask game #electricgnu #tekken #asuka kazama #your honor i think shes neat...#ive been scrolling through her wiki page as of late

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purplelupins · 2 years

Text

Sweet Dreams

|The Black Phone|

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V

Part VI

Grabber/Albert x fem!reader

Summery: Getting away from her life as a human punching bag took her somewhere she never could have imagined. But it seemed that even a basement with a masked man watching her could become home.

Warnings: depictions of physical and verbal abuse, manipulation, pet names, power imbalance, sexual tension, mild swearing, mentions of medical trauma, nsfw

Note: PLEASE READ

This is a nsfw DARK story so if you are a minor DO NOT ENGAGE. If you are offended or triggered by the mentioned material, DO NOT ENGAGE. Simple as that. Please note that I do not condone what the Grabber has done in cannon, and I am only using him as a character in my story. If you message me with negativity or harassment, I will not respond. This is Tumblr, not Twitter. Please block the Grabber x reader tag if you are disgusted.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The first few days went the same.

He would bring her breakfast, she would talk and ask non-invasive questions, and then he would leave for the day. She could tell that she was starting to grow on him judging by how he stayed longer in the evenings and how his shoulders weren’t so ridged. She was glad he was feeling more at ease.

By the fifth day, he gave her a book.

By the eighth day, he gave her a tennis ball, which she used as her exercise.

By the ninth day, she had pestered him enough to know he grew up during the Second World War, and preferred music from the 50’s and 60’s over the newer age. He wasn’t married, and had a liking for listening to the news. He enjoyed driving and walks in the woods, and he also didn’t sleep a great deal.

On one Monday, she had had a fairly uneventful day. It was all very much the same as it always was, but there had been something nagging in her mind. That evening when he brought her dinner, she had a burning question that she had to know the answer to. A question she honestly only half wanted answered.

The man placed the tray of dinner on her lap and sat beside her like he did almost every night.

“Did you have a good day?” She asked him a little absentmindedly as she built up the courage to ask him that question.

“It was hot…think I got a sunburn on my arm.” He glanced down at his veiny arm that was indeed pinker than usual. She found herself staring a moment too long at the limb before going back to the food on her fork. He noticed.

“You should put some ointment on it.” she murmured then sucked in a breath, “Can I ask you something, Mister? It’s not about you this time.” She joked lightly having asked him millions of questions.

“Go ahead.” He said patiently in a sing-songs tone. At this point they both knew that if he didn’t want to answer the question, he wouldn’t.

So she took a deep breath.

“Has…has anyone been looking for me? Is there a search?” She asked. Of course it sounded pathetic, but she wanted to know.

The man seemed to think about it for a moment. He contemplated telling her that no one was looking for her. That she was on her own. But he knew she wouldn’t believe him, and having her trust was of upmost importance if she was going to be his completely.

“For the first four days. It was called off six days ago.” His blunt honesty was a surprise to her. She had figured he might have sugar coated it or just said he didn’t know. Regardless, she was glad they had stopped looking, but she worried that her father would still try and find her on his own. And that meant no police and no police meant unlawful measures to find her.

“Can I…can I stay a little longer?” She whispered, afraid of his answer.

What if he was tired of having to entertain and feed me?

She already started to form a way to brush off her own question, ready to tell him that she would be fine on her own if he wanted her gone, but his answer stopped her in her tracks.

“Of course you can, bunny.” He cooed, rubbing her back. She looked over at him, and couldn’t help but lean into his touch; something that did not escape him. “All done?” He nodded to her empty plate.

Y/n breathed out a sigh of relief, and felt the sting of grateful tears in her eyes.

“Yes. Thank you.” She placed her fork down.

The older man patted her back a d took her tray as he stood. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He said.

The more he cared for her, the more she noticed how much she enjoyed him treating her so childishly; it had been something she missed out on. If he offered to wash her she probably wouldn’t object. She followed his direction and just as she always did, she kept close to his side. Only this time, after wanting to for over a week, she took his free hand as they walked up the stairs.

She was afraid of him telling her to not touch him or yell at her, but he had been fine with touching her; he stroked her hair, rubbed her back and would squeeze her hand sometimes. So that night, she metaphorically bit the bullet and held his large hand.

The man paused on the step he took, and looked down at her little hand in his. She grew nervous as his silence stretched on, and began to pull her hand away. But then he reached out and took her hand in his, holding it tighter than she had held his. She smiled shyly and they continued their routine as usual, only with their fingers locked.

She washed and dried herself off and was guided around again by the man to return downstairs. He played with her hair as she laid on he mattress and spoke about the world.

However, when it came to resting, she barely slept at all. She had indeed had a pleasant day, and had nothing happen that would trigger her, but it seemed that good day or not, her dreams turned into nightmares.

She was plagued by images of her father whipping her, and his fist in her ribs. His hand in her hair as he dragged her to the hospital-

She shook all night with her knees against her chest and tears streaming down her cheeks. By the time she heard birds chirping, her eyes were dry and her teeth hurt from clenching her jaw.

Another few hours passed, and she heard the door unlock. A sense of relief washed over her as the door opened, and she tried to pull herself together, but he noticed her state immediately. She was scared. Every nerve in his body was suddenly alight. He snapped his finger for Sampson to stand at the top of the stairs and shut the door behind himself incase she tried to get away.

“What happened?” He asked as he walked to her, a little more urgently.

“I just…couldn’t sleep.” She said, avoiding his eyes from under his smiling mask. He knelt down and placed the food on her thighs.

“Why don’t you tell me about it?” He asked gently, though if she had looked at his hands, she could have seen his white knuckles from how excited he was; he hoped she had had a nightmare about him. She should. And if she was afraid of him, then he could start playing with her.

But that was far from what she had dreamed of.

“I kept remembering my dad…what he used to do to me.” She whispered, poking at the egg.

“What did he do?” He asked a little darker than usual. His morbid curiosity began to take over.

She didn’t say anything. Instead, she placed the tray beside herself, and turned around on the bed so her back was to him. Then, she lifted her shirt up to show him her back.

He was silent at first, then she felt a gentle finger trace the scars and bruises that had yet to fade. There was one particular cut that had yet to heal, and was still quite painful; he brushed the surrounding tissue far tenderly than she had thought. After a moment she heard him clear his thoat, and when she turned around, she swore she saw the remains of tears in his eyes.

“I’ll never let him find you.” He whispered intensely. She wondered if he had experience with abuse as well; seeing her injuries might have brought back memories.

“I know you want to help but you can’t promise that…I can’t stay with you forever-“

“Why?” He asked, his voice lowering.

“You have a life, Mister. And I’m very capable of looking after myself.” She said. Having her was a burden- if not now, then at some point in the future she knew he would realize that.

“Do you want to leave?” He asked, his fists tightening in his lap as he readied himself to grab her.

But she shook her head.

“No. No I don’t…” she whispered.

His hands relaxed, and he looked away for a moment.

“Good.”

With that, he joined her on the mattress, and he asked her about her hobbies while he played with her hair. Occasionally he would take the fork from her and raise a piece of egg to her lips for her to eat. She found it endearing. Odd, but endearing.

That day was uneventful again. But as the sky darkened, she found herself slipping back into those intrusive thoughts that had begun to plague her.

It started with her remembering the man who called himself her father, but slowly morphed into her imagining what she would do to him if she could. As her thoughts progressed, she became unsettled that she would even think those things.

When he brought her dinner, she found herself eating a little slower just so he would stay longer because if he was there, her thoughts were gone, but eventually she finished.

To her surprise as they went upstairs for her shower, he grasped her hand in his and pulled her along behind him without a second thought. That was the first change she noticed that evening. The second was when she was expecting him to take her to the washroom, and instead he pulled her deeper into the kitchen to a cabinet, and placed the hand of hers that he had been holding on his arm as he used both hands to retrieve something. She held him tightly and waited.

When he turned back and took her hand again, he was holding a chocolate.

“Open.” He said.

She opened her mouth obediently and smiled when she tasted the sweetness on her tongue.

“Come on.” he cooed and pulled her along, “Shower time.”

That night, as he took her to sleep, she felt the effects of not sleeping properly the night previous. Her eyes were heavy.

“Sweet dreams, bunny.” He murmured, brushing her hair away from her face gently.

But she did not have sweet dreams.

She did sleep, but it was a morbid depiction of her father again, but he was three times his size and seemed to find her no matter where she ran. Fear pumped through her, and her heart felt as if it would burst completely.

She woke up in a sweat, and looked around frantically out of fear that it was real. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, however, what she found was certainly not her father.

In the doorway just beyond the light, she saw that familiar mask in the soft glow that came through the small window by the ceiling. She knew she should have been frightened, but it was the last thing she felt. She surprised herself by the feeling of comfort that came with seeing him there.

She was surprised more by the fact that he only wore the bottom half of the blank mask. Her curiosity was peaked when she noticed it.

He was watching her.

Testing her next move.

But she didn’t know that. For all she knew he was just checking on her.

“Mister?” She called out to him meekly.

He tilted his head to the side.

She swallowed her pride and stared out at him hopefully. “Would you…would you sit with me? Just until I fall asleep?”

He seemed to think for a second before walking into the room fully and shutting the door.

Y/n felt her cheeks burn when she realized his button up was open and she could see his chest fairly well. She looked away quickly, trying to not stare at his chest. He was in much better shape than she thought.

He sat down by her feet, but she scooted over to the other side so he had space to sit right next to her. His eyes crinkled at the side, and she wished she could see his smile.

“Looked pretty scary.” He said gently as he sat up against the wall while she placed her head on his thigh. His hand came down to her hair, and he began to play with it absentmindedly.

“My dad again…” she whispered, but recalled a better memory to tell him about. “Did I ever tell you about the time I thought I was an explorer and got lost in the mountains when I was twelve?” She asked.

He chuckled at that. “I don’t believe you did.”

“They brought out sniffer dogs and everything…when my parents found me the hugged me so tight…a year later my sister was born. Everything changed after that.” Her smiled faded away. “I really like music…do you like music?” She knew he liked music; he had told her as such. But they both knew she tended to ask repeat questions when trying to change a subject.

“Come on who doesn’t like music?” He replied patiently, looking down at her.

She smiled. “I dunno…a crazy person.”

They stayed quiet, and she clutched at the fabric of his pants by her chin like a safety line. He breathed a little heavier at the contact, and very nearly lost the control he had so carefully created. He had to remind himself that she wasn’t like the others. If he did this right, he might never have to hunt again. Never have to chase that feeling of control he craved. And so because of that, he remained by her side even after she fell asleep.

Every night became the same after that. He would let her shower, place a chocolate in her mouth, then take her to sleep and stay with her until she drifted off. At first, he would slip his belt out and hold it in his hand just in case. There was one night where she bolted up and he nearly struck her, but she had clung to him and cried into his shoulder. He hadn’t known what to do at first, especially with his adrenaline pumping, but he had relaxed eventually, and comforted her before he slipped from her grasp to disappear upstairs to figure out his thoughts.

Strange, strange girl.

He had anticipated that she might try and escape by then, but she had made no move whatsoever to do so.

By the fifth night of him staying with her, he no longer took his belt out, but he paid close attention to her and kept Sampson at the top of the stairs. Always waiting for her to run off.

But it never came.

On the seventh night, after a particularly long day, coupled with the excessive August heat, he was very tired. He had come home and made a simple dinner for the both of them, and brought hers down after finishing his. She had been playing with her tennis ball against the wall at it almost hit him, to which she apologized profusely.

He hadn’t had the strength to be terribly alarmed or angry, so he had just shaken his head and told her to be careful. He listened to her prattle on about the book he had brought her, and while he listened, he felt his eyes grow heavy. He took her upstairs, cleaned her up, and brought her back downstairs, but when she bid him goodnight, and he watched her, he did something he hadn’t done before. Once she was asleep, he laid himself down beside her and let her curl up into his arms; he told himself that he would just lay there for five minutes, then leave. But within two minutes, he too fell asleep against his will.

When he had awoken, he looked around frantically to ensure that nothing had happened, and he chided himself for slipping. When he wrenched himself from her side, he found himself not wanting to, but he chalked it up to her being the longest guest he had had; he spent the entire day stuck in his head, thinking. Trying to understand why he was being so clumsy.

It happened again a week later.

That time however, he had not waken up before her to leave her unaware. Y/n awoke quietly in the wee hours of the morning after having a dreamless sleep. What she had found, however, was that her cheek was not on a pillow at all. Under her head was a chest- a bare one. She had lifted her head carefully and looked up only to see the man who had welcomed her into his home with open arms.

His half-mask was slightly askew, and she couldn’t help but stare at how handsome he was, especially when he slept. Those deep lines in his forehead that she loved were relaxed and his breathing was hypnotic. It was then that she realised that she had been resting on his bare chest, and her cheeks burned so much she was afraid it would wake him.

She didn’t sleep anymore that morning, but pretended when he woke up, and she noticed how he stiffened. She listened to him sigh, and pull himself from her, then disappear until breakfast. She found herself missing his presence, but her embarrassment was too much to even think of that.

Y/n hadn’t been able to look him in the eye for the rest of the day.

A month passed.

He brought her a portable cassette player and a small stack of tapes. The collection slowly grew as he would bring her a new one every so often and he would watch her listen to it. She would tell him her favourites and what they reminded her of; a person, a place, a feeling. Anything.

And he soaked it up.

One Saturday morning, he came down to find her dancing to a new cassette tape. Her eyes were closed and her arms and hips swung to the tune flooding her ears. He liked watching her like that- she was so unaware and innocent.

No idea that the man feeding her could snap her in two if he wanted to.

But she wouldn’t know that, she was a good girl.

He tilted his head to the side as he stared her; she alternated between his shirt and her pyjamas depending on what needed a cleaning. That day it was his shirt day which meant no shorts and no shorts meant he could see her cute peach coloured panties from under the top when she raised her arms up.

He loved shirt days.

Especially when it was the weekend. A shirt day on the weekend meant he could spend hours with his pretty girl while she wore his clothes and almost nothing else. She would forget to close her legs or to be careful when bending over and he could see the fabric cling to her.

Y/n finally opened her eyes halfway through the song and gasped, jumping out of her skin when she saw him. She slipped her headphones off her head and laughed to herself. “Hi! Sorry, you scared me a little there.”

He tilted his head to the side and chuckled in that airy way he did, “Who? Me? No.” He teased her, walking with the tray.

She hit his arm lightly, trying to ignore the muscles exposed; he wore a t-shirt that day. She also noticed that he only had the bottom half of his mask; a rare occurrence during the day.

“Yes you.” She smiled and sat with him.

“What were you listening to, bunny?” He asked, nodding to the cassette.

She swallowed the egg and looked over atthe player.

“Oh that one you got me last week- Hard Day’s Night from the Beatles. I was listening to Can’t Buy Me Love! It’s such a fun song.”She thought aloud.

He gazed at her for a moment, drinking her in.

“By the way you were dancing I would have to agree.” He said, and by his voice she could tell his was smiling. “When the first round of tapes came out I waited in line for hours to get one…wore it out within a year after listening to it too often.”

“Which one did you like the most?”she asked, sipping at the coffee.

“You Can’t Do That.” He nodded as he remembered, “It reminded me of my girlfriend at the time.”

Her brows shot up at the confession. “You had a girlfriend?” Her voice must have been more shocked than she meant it to be because he looked over at her, his brows and eyes unamused and sharp. She had struck a nerve. The young woman almost choked when she tried to explain, “Not that I don’t think you could have a girlfriend or anything I mean you have beautiful eyes and you’re handsome from what I can tell but I just was surprised is all, I don’t know much about you and you surprised me by telling me something like that…” the words rumbled out of her embarrassingly.

“What?” He asked, he asked after a moment, and she could tell he was holding in a laugh.

“Oh come on…you know …you’re a good looking man. You’re really sweet too…” she said softly, poking at the eggs

“Do you think so?” He asked, leaning a little closer.

Y/n looked back up at him beside her, and felt her breath catch with him being so close.

“I do…” she whispered, then cleared her throat. “What happened to her?” Anything to change the subject.

“Hm? Oh she died…not long after we broke up. She…cheated on me.” He said simply.

Y/n, however, nearly spat out her coffee. “Was she stupid?” She blurted out, “It’s just…I don’t know I’ve been hit on by married men my whole life and I’ve never understood how someone can cheat. If you’re so miserable then just get a divorce.” She placed her fork down without finishing and sighed. “I’m sorry…I hope it didn’t hurt you too much.”

He stared at her for a moment and unconsciously tightened his hands into fists at the memory of the woman’s windpipe snapping under his hands. “It was alright. I suppose it’s that whole saying of what goes around comes around.” He said with a lightless and a shrug.

She nodded along.

“True…it can be hard to feel anything for people who have hurt you…” she said. Her eyes glazed over for a moment, and while she didn’t say and he didn’t ask, he knew she was remembering her dad. He had seen that look before, but in a mirror when he recalled his own past.

“Are you finished?” He asked and nodded at her half done eggs.

“Yeah…” she nodded, “They were great as always, but I think I just lost my appetite…thinking about him.”

He smirked under his mask at his own accuracy with her thoughts. He was starting to know what she was thinking.

“That’s okay,” he chirped, “You’ll forget about him sooner than you think. I’m sure of it.” His voice seemed to deepen slightly at the end, and y/n looked up at him as he stood.

“Mister?” She asked when he took a few steps to return upstairs.

“Yep?” He called, turning back.

She didn’t say anything, but she did run up to him and wrap her arms around his torso. He froze for a moment and stared down at her before wrapping his free arm around her. It was unexpected, but he had to admit it felt fucking euphoric.

She took a deep breath of his smell and let it cloud her mind. Her pulse began to thud in her ears, and she could feel a dampness between her thighs. When she realised her body’s reaction, she let go quickly.

“Sorry I just-“

“Shh…you can hug me anytime…” he cooed to her as her cheeks burned. “I might not look it but I’m a big softy!” The smile of his mask deceived her of his true motives. To her, he was just a nice guy with some eccentricities who was helping her. And best of all, she had no reason to not believe him.

“Okay…thanks again for everything.” She fidgeted with a small hole in the shirt.

She felt his hand atop her head, ruffling her hair a little, then he disappeared again just as he always did. And to her surprise, she craved him.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

@theroadreader @dogmatic255 @funandfancyfree @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @lxdyred @ethanhawkestan @honeycovered-bandaids @eth1calcannibal @ratpackash @doc-blu

#the grabber x reader #the grabber #ethan hawke #the black phone 2022 #the black phone #slasher x reader #sweet dreams

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