#it supported me even in my really bad habbits | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

corruptedsilence · 2 years

Text

Anonymous asked: I honestly get it to an extent. I suffer from depression and anxiety and all that fun stuff. But for mine it comes and hits hard for a week or two and then leaves for months. But when I'm depressed, nothing helps much either. :/ But honestly, it DOES help to know people care about you, for me at least. Just people sending me kind words and stuff. Or people sending in threads and RPs to distract my brain. Just remember it's not weak or anything to rely on a few friends from time to time. (1/?) Anonymous asked: I'll be happy to throw you some anons if I see you down. Whether it's kind anons or anons asking questions for Missi to help distract the brain. I know we've never talked, but I really enjoy you on my dash. And let me tell ya, I normally unfollow non mutuals after a week. But there's some people who just seem like someone I wanna hang with, even if it's on anon. I'm not always on, but if you need someone to vent to, you can vent to me if you'd like. I know how it is to bottle it all up.

Sorry I was eating my borger and fries fhewjk

But yeah I totally get that. If people have been around me long enough they know I tend to get like that too. My depression is (at least in my opinion) always worst in Spring and Summer just because the heat absolutely murders me and I find it so difficult to get motivation to do anything. IDK what’s with those seasons it just makes everything worse. Since summer is finally ending and Autumn (like my favorite season) is coming I feel already a lot more relaxed. The cooler temperatures and the rainy days are just helping me relax so much more. Winter too is also so much nicer because while I hate the silence there’s something about Winter that just, it’s a calm quiet instead of silence. Like the entire world for once, can curl under a blanket and restf and that it’s a rest we’ve waited all year to take.

My depression (minus last saturday) hasn’t been too bad. I haven’t intentionally self harmed in so long and my depression has felt more intrusive than active? What I’ve felt this past week or two hasn’t felt like my depression, like it’s someone else’s.

I agree kind words do help a lot, TBH I’ve kept a lot of asks in my inbox just to remind me of the nice words people say and something I can always go back to, to help remind me that I am worth it, that I am good. I’ve finally broken out of the “im not worth it” but more worried I’ve become the “im not good enough. I’m worthy to be here and have friends, but I don’t give anything in return for everything they give me” kinda thing.

If you ever want to my DMs are open? Or they should be at least. You can always send me an ask about who you are cuz yo udo seem like a really cool person! I don’t follow everyone who follows me back because I do have a lot of personal blogs following me (not that i mind since no one has been rude in spamming me or w/e) and Tumblr has a really annoying habbit of not telling me when people follow me??? I’ll look at my followers list from time to time and be like “wait, when did this person follow me?? Hello???” And this happens way too often.

Honestly? At this point I’d feel like we could be mutuals, even if we wouldn’t RP you seem like a really nice and chill person I’d want to support even if we don’t RP or we just slap each other anons lol. I appreciate everything you’ve been writing to me tonight and it honestly feels amazing. Wait it’s not night, it’s afternoon. RIP that’s what I get for sleeping 19 hours and living in a windowless room lol. Always feel free to hit me up, you’re more than shown to be a really cool dude (or dudette) I’d like to chill with too, or just support. Anyone who’s willing to go to this extent to help someone feel better I feel like should be given the respect they deserve because I’ll always respect people who do things like this.

Time is something that is valuable however cheesy it is, but it’s true. And the fact you’re willing to spend time to send me these messages shows to me how much you do genuinely care and how kind you are. So thank you, so much for these and I do hope to see you again whether anon or not I’ll treasure these messages and hope you don’t mind me filing these away with my other kind asks

#Out for a Bite // OOC #Screams from the Abyss // MT #;; literally i hoard so many asks of kind words just as reminders #;; there's like 5 in my inbox rn fhewjkkw #;; and im totally adding these too #;; also i havent had a borger in so long so im just yes i need my monthly borger fix

2 notes · View notes

thedandelion-writer · 3 years

Text

❝sleeping habbits, mondstadt edition❞

Pairings: Diluc x reader, Mona x reader, Kaeya x reader, Jean x reader

A/N: There we go, part 2! Also a modern au :)

<- Liyue edition

Diluc hardly ever sleeps deeply

Some days, he'd even wake at the slightest sound

He feels the most vulnerable when asleep, thus the hyperawareness

You snort and thinks it's funny. Relax Diluc, no one's going to murder you in your sleep!

Right..?

On the days where you would come into bed after he was already turned in, you had to tiptoe around as if you were afraid of disturbing a baby. Even your breathing was silent.

The amount of sound that would wake him up varied. But you weren't sure if today was especially bad, as in footsteps could wake him up bad, or if it was mild, as in even the rustling of the covers would be okay.

It was all going well so far. You've slipped into sleepwear and was just about to settle in, mentally congratulating yourself. But maybe you thought you were in the clear too soon, because as soon as your weight hit the bed, it creaked.

You cringed inwardly, slapping a hand over your eyes as Diluc stirred.

"Don't wake up, love," you skirted over. "It's really late."

"It is really late." Was that an accusing tone you heard?

"Hehe...I was just finishing up some work." You quickly slipped underneath the sheets, body instantly enveloped in warmth. "I'm sorry for waking you."

Diluc shook his head before pulling you in closer.

"It's better with you here," he said. "I wouldn't mind staying up all night to wait."

Or maybe it wasn't the so called assassins who might come to him in the night that he feared. Maybe it was because he was afraid that he wouldn't see you again the next time he awoke.

Diluc doesn't really have a set time in which he'd go to bed

But he goes in relatively early because he also wakes up, relatively early

He was used to sleeping alone for the longest time, but now you've come and spoiled him

It just doesn't feel the same without you next to him anymore

Mona is the type of person who'd keep all her astrology books, trinkets, etc on her bed

Just splayed out and messy because she fell asleep whilst using them last night. And the night before...and the night before that

Never bothered to cleaning it up because it'll end up messy again anyway!

Sometimes you'd roll onto your back and ouch--there'd be a mini telescope or something

"Oww," you groaned, a pain stabbing at your side.

The culprit? It was unsurprisingly yet another one of Mona's astrologer's stuff. What the heck was this even called?

After plucking out the round, metal offender to place on the windowsill, you look over to your sleeping lover.

"Well at least someone's getting a good night sleep," you grumbled.

Somehow Mona always found a way to avoid all the nonsense she laid scattered on your shared bed. You always supported her passions, but this is getting out of hand.

As if sensing someone was talking (or in this case, thinking) about her, Mona stretched a little and curled up tighter into herself. You sighed softly to yourself, not being able to be annoyed for long.

You cleaned up the best you could (even though you already did that before turning in), and laid back down beside her. You'd have to make sure Mona would pay you for the troubles she's caused you tonight. And you only accept payment in cuddles!

The bed has to be beside a window. Always.

If the skies are clear and starry you best believe she'd be staring at them, talking about the things she loved most (other than you of course- ) until the both of you drift off

The girl's a night owl so you have to be able to put up with late night tinkering

Also--awful awful bedhead

But don't ever say it to her face, you will get hit by a pillow (or worse!!)

The guy has absolutely no regard for how freaking cold he keeps his room

It's an eternal winter in there, even when it's blazing hot outside

Worst part? He doesn't even have a proper blanket. That, sir, is a rectangular piece of cloth

If you like the cold? Then sure, let him keep it that way. If not, you would have to make some changes around here.

"You should've told me you lived in a fridge??" You said, half jokingly through chattered teeth.

"You don't like it sweetheart?" He faked hurt, sauntering up behind you to grasp your shoulders as if you were newlyweds inspecting a new house to move into.

"Uhh well, there's literal frost on the edges of your window. And it's not even winter, Kaeya, clearly I'll be a popsicle by morning!"

It was your first night staying with him. And in your head, it was going to be all romantic like you've seen in the novels and shows. Warm cuddles, kisses underneath the blankets (oh my gods that blanket is paper thin), legs and arms entwined and you'd wake up like that.

But archons be damned, this was not what you had imagined.

"You'd make a very good looking popsicle then, love," he had the nerve to laugh so you elbowed him in the ribs.

"Alright alright, I'll make it warmer for you, how does that sound?"

"And I want a new blanket."

"Consider it done," he ruffled your hair to press a kiss onto the crown of your head.

Anything to please his darling.

He also sleep talks

And it's the funniest shit you'll ever hear if you're awake to hear it

One time you recorded it and now you use it as blackmail, threatening to send it to Diluc every time he'd get too cheeky

Her sleeping schedule is messed. up.

Jean would never admit it, but she loses a lot of rest time due to her work

You keep telling her to please get more than 2 and a half hours of shut-eye per day, but she is stubborn as she is lovely

Which worries you a heck of a lot, obviously

Doesn't help the fact that this woman can sleep anywhere. On a chair sitting down, face on a desk, on the bus, against you, the list goes on

Sometimes, when she's worked herself to the limit, you'll find her asleep at the most bizarre of places

Funny story! One time, Jean fell asleep on the train on the way home and missed all her stops

You had to find her in the middle of nowhere

"Darling-" you hurried to embrace your tired looking lover as she ambled her way out of the station.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry you had to come get me in the middle of the night," Jean murmured into the crook of your neck. "I must have worried you too...I apologise."

You held your tongue at all the things you piled up to say on the drive here, but the scolding could wait until tomorrow. Right now, looking at her exhausted complexion, you couldn't bring yourself to tell her anything other than everything's alright, she can rest now.

Jean looked at you with eyes full of appreciation and affection, eyes that never failed to melt you like ice cream on the summer pavement.

Aside from that, she likes to keep the bedroom very neat

If she does sleep in the bed, Jean would constantly put your comfort over hers

You need some warm milk in the middle of the night? She's on it!!

Your pillows feel uncomfortable? Take hers!!

Oh dear you've accidentally rolled too much into her side? It's no problem, she can just move over to yours

Good morning kisses are her thing

But usually she gives it to you because she's almost always out of it first

640 notes · View notes

ithinkilikeit-reactions · 3 years

Text

Ateez “S/O boosts their self esteem”

Ateez Masterlist Group Masterlist

A/N: We always talk about them boosting us up. I wanna do the same

Hongjoong:

It wasn’t that the members had rejected the new song fully. But they also weren’t completely feeling it, Hongjoong really couldn’t blame them, he wasn’t feeling it either. He had just put a lot of hard work into something, for nothing (in his opinion) and you could tell it was bothering him. It had rattled his confidence, not only because of their responses but his own.

“You need to snap out of it, love.” You said, hearing his thousandth sigh as he tried to fix whatever was wrong in the song. Your hands moved over his shoulders and down his chest as you hugged him from behind. “It’s easier said than done.” Hongjoong remarked, resting his head against yours. It hurt you to see him down on his confidence.

“What if I peaked?” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, but you could tell he was serious. You moved around to sit in front of him, just to make sure he was looking in your eyes and could see you were being sincere. “Hongjoong, you’re 22 years old. You have not peaked. You are an amazing producer and song writer and just because one song wasn’t well liked among your members doesn’t mean you’re bad at what you do. Kim Hongjoong you are amazing, so I want you to shake this off.” Your tone was almost scolding, making him laugh and he grabbed your hands.

“Thank you, I needed that.”

Seonghwa:

It was a habbit that at the end of the week you would catch up on some of Ateez’s content. You liked to stay updated, you liked to stay in the loop with Seonghwa’s achievements because you were incredibly proud of him. Seeing him performing on stage always made you giddy and smile from ear to ear.

“Please tell me you’re not watching our performance from last night.” Seonghwa said, walking into your room and hearing the oh so familiar song. “Of course I am. I always do this at the end of the week, catch up you know.” He shook his head at your response, taking off his jacket and gradually changing into his pj’s to join you. “What?” You asked, questioning his response. “Nothing.” He shook his head, jumping into bed with you and looking at your screen. You simply stared at him in confusion.

“It’s nothing, I swear.” He said, shrugging it off but you knew better. “It’s not nothing, what’s wrong with me watching your stuff?” You asked and he sighed, laying flat on his back and staring at your ceiling. “I just feel like who I am on stage vs. who I am here is different. You might end up liking the other guy more.” It was a valid fear, but one he should have known better when it came to you. “Who you are on stage and who you are here are the same person. Just different sides. I love both equally.” You said, moving to hover over him. Seonghwa laughed, hiding his face behind his hands only for you to pry them away again.

“I guess we can keep watching stuff back then.”

Yunho:

Yunho was an idol first and a model second, however much he wanted to deny it. With his height, broad shoulders, long legs, arms, beautiful hands and beautiful face, he was made for fashion magazines. But he denied it heavily, even when the photographers told him so.

But you really couldn’t stop yourself from buying every magazine he featured in. Yunho was just absolutely stunning and he deserved to know that. “Babe, I could have gotten you that for free.” Yunho said, watching you flip through the pictures happily. “I know, I’m just supporting my model boyfriend.” You said and he laughed. “Ahh, shut up.” He said shoving you slightly as you laughed. “I’m being serious.” You said, closing the magazine and moving to lean into his lap.

“Look at these gorgeous hands and those broad shoulders. Not to mention your big beautiful eyes.” You paused looking at him as he smiled down on you. “Absolutely made for magazines.” You said softly, watching his ears turn pink as he blushed.

“I’ll bring it up with the company that I want to do more modelling, specially for you.”

Yeosang:

It took alot for him to post the video of him singing onto twitter. It took a lot for him to do so and you knew that. So when you saw that Ateez had posted a video onto twitter, Yeosang’s beautiful voice was the last thing you expected. You couldn’t help but call him right away.

“Hello?” He asked, voice calm and soothing in your ears. “So when were you gonna tell me you were practicing a song to post?” You said with a smile and you could hear his laugh on the other end. “It was supposed to be a surprise. Honestly, I’m shaking right now. Too scared to see the responses.” He admitted, laughing but you knew he meant it. “Ahh, Yeosang.” You said and he hummed in response, scared to hear what you were going to say.

“From what I can tell, everyone is absolutely adoring it. And as for my personal opinion... you sound absolutely amazing. Your deep vocal tone is stunning and you’ve improved soooo much. I’m proud of you, you should be proud of yourself.” You said and Yeosang went quiet, covering his mouth to hide his giggle of embarrassment.

“You know compliments make me nervous.”

San:

Watching San perform was an experience in itself, you couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with emotions while watching him. You were just so incredibly proud of him and every time you saw him on stage you were reminded of that. Now because of the world situation, you were allowed to be front row to their show and hanging out with the staff.

Once it was all over, San came running over with the last bit of energy he had left after a show. You wrapped your arms around him, not caring about how sweaty he was. “That was amazing.” You said softly and as he pulled away to look at you. “Yeah? I feel like I’m not in the best condition today.” San frowned and you shook your head. He was always doubting himself.

“Ahh, shush. You were absolutely amazing. You always are. You always bring 110% to the table when it comes to performing so shhhh. San you are one of the best performers I’ve ever seen.” You said and he laughed, tucking his face into your shoulder.

“You must want something from me, you’re being so sweet.”

Mingi:

There was no harm in hyping your man up and Mingi was just someone who needed the hype a little more often. Which didn’t bother you one bit. You loved complimenting him out of the blue, his response was worth it. The way his cheeks turned pink and he hid his face in his hands, it was so worth it.

“Does this shirt work with these pants?” Mingi asked, walking out of the bathroom now fully dressed and standing in front of you. You loved his sense of style, he always dressed so nice and knew exactly what worked for him. “Yeah it works. You look really good.” You said, smiling at him. The small compliment made a big smile stretch over his face and he walked over to you, cupping your face.

“You always look so good. You dress so well. Not to mention that gorgeous smile of yours, it’s your best accessory.” You smiled and he shut his eyes while laughing, cheeks getting pink in the process.

“You always make me so flustered when you compliment.”

Wooyoung:

You loved days that you were allowed to watch their practice, it was just so much fun and it was so cool to see Wooyoung doing what he loved. Now it was especially cool, because it felt like you were getting a sneak peak to a new dance break.

“Rewind the music, I messed up.” Wooyoung called out and the song restarted. You watched him dance, moving his body to the music and you couldn’t help but allow your mouth to go agape. “Babe, you’re gonna catch flies.” Wooyoung laughed looking at you watching him. You instinctively closed your mouth and looked at him with loving eyes.

“I love watching you dance so much. Woo, you’re so talented. It’s just so cool to see.” You admitted and he sat next to you on the ground. He rested his head in your lap and looked up at you with a smirk.

“Don’t stop on my account, I love it when you compliment me. It makes me feel all mushy and good.”

Jongho:

He was in such a good mood the entire day, his smile was hardly able to be kept at bay. Not that you wanted it to go away, not at all. You adored his smile quite possibly more than anything else. It was just so perfect, it brightened a room.

“You’re in such a good mood today.” You commented, looking at his smile with a warmth in your chest. “I can’t help it. I just am.” Jongho said, leaning over you to rest his weight on you. “I get to spend my day with you, makes me happy.” His words were always so sweet.

“God, your smile is the prettiest thing ever. Just absolutely gorgeous. Your smile makes me feel so happy.” You complimented, your fingers moving over his cheeks. His smile got only bigger and he burried his face into your chest with a small whimper.

“Ahh, my cheeks are gonna crack from all this smiling.”

#ateez #ateez reaction #ateez scenario #hongjoong #hongjoong reaction #seonghwa #seonghwa reaction #yunho #yunho reaction #yeosang #yeosang reaction #san #san reaction #mingi #mingi reaction #wooyoung #wooyoung reaction #jongho #jongho reaction

215 notes · View notes

funtarou · 3 years

Text

Wishes || Kuroo x Reader

The Second Part of "Plans" || Kuroo x Reader" fic

Second part is here and I hope it's decent or maybe satisfying enough. Like wise, I'm rusty and still trying to regain my writing zone. Also I haven't throughly slowly proof-read this so-- Also also ya know, like wise, how I depict Kuroo has no guarantee that it's the actual Canon Kuroo, ya know. But I'm tryna get a bit close-

Story Warning: Angst, Comfort/hurt?, Human emotions are weird okay. There's one Sexual action but not described specifically. Still just incase, 13 year old below minors do not interact.

Writing Warning: Bad English grammar and possible spelling mistakes and wrong use of words. English is not my first language and I'm still tryna get back in writing groove.

Read part 1 here

Kuroo Tetsurou never expect such a dirty play from life. He though all of the dark side in life for him has already ran out the moment his mom stormed out of their house when he was a kid. He though it was already enough the moment he heard his own older sister said she doesn't want anything to do with him. He though it was satisfying enough for life to see him bid farewell to his friends back at his old neightbourhood. Maybe he's still naive to think that he won't be affected by any games life would play him after the things he need to went through in his early childhood. Even after it already forced him to think more maturely in a young age, and developed a sort of social anxiety in those younger days, there just seems to be more and more things life had planned for him.

But after witnessing a near-death experience, Your near death experience, he wish life would let him off the Hook. Because it was just too much.

It has been 96 hours since you were hit by the bastard with the car who drives away the next second. And despite already being treated, you still haven't wake up. The doctor said you'll be fine despite the injuries, but might experience headaches when waking up. But on the matter of when, it was still uncertain. For now it's best to let you rest, let your brain process the shock from the hit.

96 hours, and Kuroo still stays by your side. Only leaving on occasion to get some supplies he needs to stay at your hospital room. He hasn't attend his classes for the past four days yet, but has someone he's on good-terms with (and has the same classes as him) to give him notes and stuff that was taught at those classes. Kenma occasionally stopped by to give him food and check up on your condition too. A few of your friends and family also came for the same reason for the past four days.

Even though his heart ache and yearns for you to open your eyes, to know for sure that you'll be okay, he always tries to maintained a cold head. Despite the lingering fear that stays at the back of his head and the image of your frail body being hit and thrown to the side of the road, he put up a strong front. to himself and to the people around him. He has been focusing on his studies despite not present in classes, still maintaining a proper diet and sleep schedule. Acting normal, and trying to think everything is fine now that he knew you're treated and is going to be okay. He cant just go in deep depresso espresso mode now while you're unconcious. Because he knew you'd be upset if you wake up and found out he hasn't been taking care of himself. Another thing he always keep in mind is, that he cant let this bump in life ruined his plans. Not to mention he's nearing graduation if he Ace his essays and IP. He can get a job soon, a well-paid one if he works hard enough. Soon enough he can buy you the things you always dream of getting ever since highschool. He can already imagined the beaming in your eyes when he give it to you, one day.

Yeah. This is just a bump in life. Everyone Will eventually experience it at Times. Nothing is perfect, but that doesn't mean he cant stop trying to reach his future plans with you.

As Kuroo was typing on his laptop, sitting beside your bed with one hand on top of your hand, he sensed a sudden movement. His eyes quickly shot up from the device to your laying figure. He stays quiet for a few seconds, that is before he can feel the sudden broken movements of your fingers in his once again. He stand up, putting the laptop aside before putting another hand on your hand that had moved. Eyes slightly wide in anticipation for your own to open.

"... (Y/n)?"

He whispered, not wanting to startle you. The movement on your hand in his owns slowly became stronger, until it managed to lightly close in to a half fist and open again. Your eyelids trembles lightly, making an effort to open. But when it does, your orbs slowly land on him. He cant help himself, as he feels his vision getting blurry with the unintentional tears gathering up.

"Hey love... How are you feeling...?"

He softly and slowly questions, letting you process your conditions as he notices your eyes roaming around as if trying to understand where you are. And then he sees your eyes roaming at his figure, at your conjoined hands. And for some reason, the way your eyes looked at him, the way it moved as if analyzing him and the way your hand slightly shifted in his soft grip, gave him a bad feeling under the relief.

And it seems like Kuroo's gut feeling has always been spot on. For the words you weakly utter next Made his heart drop.

"... W-Who... Who are you...?"

And he wish you were pranking him at that moment.

2 years since the incident.

The day when you woke up, Kuroo called the doctors to check up on you. After going through some tests, the doctor concluded that the impact and shock from the accident Made you lost a big part of your memories. Your family was called the same day to received the information.

Ever since that day, Kuroo has been trying to rush your memories back. He's taking it slow, not wanting to pressure you and the recovery of your memories. He's been really supportive and optimis on making you remember your family, your friends, your life style, hobbies, and him. Gladly you still remember and can manage most of the things you learned at your major, and you returned back to campus a few days after you woke up. Now you've successfully graduated with an average but good scores. Yet due to not remembering your passion, you're not quiet sure what career you want to take, up until now. You've only been doing part-time jobs and online shops. Everything still feels unfamiliar to your head, yet strangely familiar in your chest.

After getting out of the hospital, You agreed on still staying with Kuroo at your shared apartment. Kuroo also persuaded your family that it might make you remember faster on your latest life style. And in a way, he has a point. Most of the stuffs you supposely enjoy and most of the things you use in your routines is in the apartment. The things back at your family house are the old things you didn't use and left when you moved out for college. In the end you spend those two years living in the same roof with him, someone who people told you is your lover of some years now.

For the past 2 years also, Kuroo tried giving you your space. He restrict himself from kissing you everytime he sees you. He tries to hold back on smushing you againts his chest. He lets you choose where you wanted to sleep, either it be the guest room or your shared bedroom. If you're not comfortable with him hugging you, like how you two used to do everyday, he'll make a distance from your side of the bed or sleep on another place. Through those Times, be tries to done the deeds on his own, not with anyone else, without you knowing too. It's been hard for him to locked up all of his swelling feelings and affections for you, yet he doesn't want to overwhelmed you. Not until you remember him, or maybe, developed the same compassion feelings for him as your new self.

But it seems like you've caughed on his hidden desperation for you. And if there's a side of you that stays, it's your need to return the favor he has been giving you. Afterall, he's the most supportive person you've met ever since you woke up. The one who let you stay at the apartment despite not remembering him, the one that pays for all your need with his new found job, the one that's with you through the twisted road for you to remember the people you love and cherished. And so that night, you confronted him.

"Please let me help, Kuroo."

Despite the sting in his heart when hearing you call him with his last name, he cant hold himself back. Afterall, saying no to you feels so heavy for him to do.

You felt familiar under his touch, under his warmth. And whatever he did to your body, you always response accordingly. He knew every parts of your body, every beauty and insecurities. He knew what to do, because before the incident it's not like you two were playing holy-boy holy-girl in your relationship.

There's this momenterally serotonin he felt when being connected with you once again. Seeing your raw emotions of pleasure and your body doing the talking. It feels like everything was back like how it was. Everything was normal, back when you would know every part of him as much as he does, back when you utter the words of love as much as he does. But, he described the feeling as "momenterally" for a reason.

You two spend the night, cuddled againts each other, or could also be said him pulling you close out of habbit. But after experiencing one of the world's pleasure with you again, he really just need to be slapped with a sour something.

"Kuroo... I don't think I could keep pretending..."

Because deep in your heart, Kuroo Tetsurou is still a stranger in your foggy head. To your old self, your old memories, he would be the man of your dreams, the man you wish would spend forever with you. But now everything is different. You tried to find that passion within you for him, it's not like it's that hard because he was an attractive man. Despite all that, you come to realized it feels wrong. You knew, you've been knowing of how he loves you with all his beings and existence, while you only stays and manifested your love for him through a facade and a form of "Pity" for his desperate heart. It fills your chest with aching guilt, feeling as if you're using him at his more vulnurable mental and emotional state.

One could say you utter your next words on panic and quite irrantional thinking. Yet it felt right at the back of your head, to let him break free from the past. To let yourself break free. Because your little heart cant keep this game much longer.

Yet, He wish you would for a little longer.

4 years passed by.

The whispering noises of the audiences are audible through the whole building. Some excited whispers, some casual talks. They're all waiting for you, not to mention the spiky haired JVA member.

His head hang low, looking down at the ground. Hands remains restless, patting his neat suit here and there and occasionally being put in his pant's socket. Beside him was Kenma, putting a hand behind his back and soothing his best friend.

Minutes passed by, and finally the slow music started playing, silently announcing to the people in the building of your soon arrival. The flower girl appeared from the door first, your nephew dressed In beautiful frilly white dress with flowers decorating. Her Tiny hands throwing the pastel mix colored petals as she skipped her way down the aisle. Some of your relatives coo'ed at her cute attics while throwing the flowers. And then when your form is visible In the room, all eyes are on you. Dolled up beautifully in your long white wedding attire, a thin veil lightly covering your face. You walked down the aisle, a family member holding one of your arm, accompanying you to your soon to be husband.

If someone were to ask what Kuroo Tetsurou though Angels looked like, he would describe this scene in front of him.

The scene was beautiful and breath-taking to Kuroo's eyes. Even Kenma can hear his tall friend's breath hitching for a second when his eyes land on you. Your face moved up, eyes locking at Kuroo's cat like ones as if on instinct. You two starred for a few seconds, before a small smile softly tugged at the edge of your glossed lips. But after that smile, you turned your head and tore your gaze away from his.

A drop of tear unconciously traveled down his face. Followed by another from his other eye, and then followed by a few more soon after. He's silently crying, holding on a sob as his hands formed in a fist shakingly. Kenma of cource notices this, as he glanced to his tall friend beside him. But he was unsure of what to do himself that can comfort his best friend, and so he continued rubbing (hopefully) comforting circles behind the taller male's back.

Afterall, Kenma doesn't think he's in a much better emotional state than Kuroo at this moment either. Where Kuroo cried on his realization of fully loosing you to another, Kenma hold tears of his mix emotions. Kenma's happy for you and your soon to be husband, but he cant help but sympathize with Kuroo. Afterall he's the only guy that has seen and hear you two go through all the hard and happy Times. It's always you three since grade school. Even though you and Kuroo formed a romantic relationship Along the way, you two never left Kenma behind and Kenma never stop supporting you two. And at this moment, Kenma is unsure how to feel with the whole ordeal. He wanted his best friend back together like before, but he doesn't want to force you in to it, not when you forgot all those happy and sad Times you three experienced together.

And as you reached the end of the aisle, a hand awaited to take yours in. A hand that was not Kuroo's, but someone whom he atleast knew at one point in life. Osamu Miya. The man you met and developed deep feelings for, after you left him back in Tokyo.

Kuroo thinks you're being subconciously quiet mercifull for him. If you were to marry someone you and him knew for years, it would be more painful for him to try and mask his sadness with a smiling face in false supportive-ness. And as he sat there in silent tears, he watch and listens to you ex-changing vows with the Kansai man you've chosen to plan your new future with.

He wish it was him again. He wish he has that privilages to be a part of your future again.

Afterall he already planned everything beforehand.

As Osamu slipped the gold ring through your delicate finger, Kuroo's mind went back to a few days a go. Where he had found a neatly wrapped letter in his mailbox. He wished he didn't come when you had sent him a wedding invitation. But years of not seeing you nor ex-changing much conversation through text, could add to the factor on how desperate he is to remain in contact with you. Even after years, He's not used to being so far away like this yet.

His cat like eyes bore on to the piece of decorated paper.

How he wish it was his name written there beside yours.

5 years has passed by since the wedding.

After the ceremony Kuroo only greeted a few familiar faces and then silently leave with Kenma. For some reason Kuroo doesn't have it in him to face you, nor say his congratulations for you. He doesn't feel like tugging a smile for you at all that day. He hoped you didn't dechiper his emotionless face as something bad.

Now he's sitting in quietly, looking at the stars above him. Behind him can be seen a wooden cabin he had rent for a small nature trip, by himself. He thinks maybe he needs it, to atleast distract himself from the though of you. Honestly the first thing that dragged him to nature and disconnect with technology, is when he sees a picture being posted by Osamu Miya and shared by Atsumu on his social account. A picture of you and your 3 year old daughter with Osamu, smiling happily as it seems the three of you are eating at Onigiri Miya.

But for some reason, having his time within the fresh air of the mountains and therapeutic noises of the forest surrounding him, only Made his thoughs Drifts further on you. He though that your love is truly for him. He though that maybe he does deserve "forever". Maybe he shouldn't expect so much back then. There was never been a perfect love story from the beginning and he should've seen it coming. Even if all the odds around him seems to lead him on thinking "yes you two are meant together", maybe it's just another one of life's trial. He kept thinking like that through the 5 years.

Crouching down, Kuroo grabbed a small gasoline can that was placed beside his leg. He walked further to the wild, the backyard of the cabin, nearing a cliff where in the morning the breath-taking view of the waterfall and field can be seen. From his inside jacket pocket, he pulled out a paper file. When opening the file, it can be seen there are several papers within it and one quiet thick handmake-shift book.

He took a seat on the dirt, not minding some dust getting on his already dirty pants from the previous hike he had. One by one, his eyes wander off through the pieces of paper in the file, reading his small writings on it before dropping it to the ground in front of him. Until all the paper has been read lightly and dropped on the ground, he moved to the book. He only ever took the moment to fully and slowly read the words on the first date of the book. The date where he finally mustered the courage to confess his long-time feelings for you, and the date where he found out you also felt the same. Felt.

He schemed through the rest of the page, rather carelessly. Because he knew if he ever took the time to read each and every single plans he had for you and him, he would spend the rest of the night in tears. Heck maybe he couldn't even sleep seeing how many he wrote in the past.

Finally he reached the last page with his writings on it. His saving plans to buy you a ring. His written plan of how he was going to pull one of the best proposal action, only for you. Seems like all of that is for nothing now.

Kuroo closed the book, dropping it down with the other papers on the dirty ground. Standing up, he stretched his limbs lightly before moving to grab and open the gasoline can. Pouring all over the papers and book, not leaving any surfaces untouched, until all the papers are nicely soaked. After he emptied the gasoline can, he pulled a box of matches out from his pant's pocket.

He lights one up and throw it at the pile of papers. It went out before it could touch the wet surface, which Made Kuroo clicked his tongue in annoyence. He lights up another one, but this one went out in his hand when a sudden gush of wind hit his face. He groans in silent frustration.

'Now nature wants to hold me back?'

Was his first though.

He tries one more time. Lighting up a match, but this time dragging it down and guiding it to touch the surface of the papers. This time it finally lights up the flames on the paper. He sight contently, standing back up to see how the fire slowly covered and burns every pieces of papers and the book. Soon enough, the small fire turned in to a camp fire with the amount of fuels given to it.

The mountain around this place is quiet, especially at this time of the night. The only thing prominently audiable to the spiky haired male at the moment are the sound of the fire eating the papers.

And just like that his future plans are all ruined by the flames. The flames in front of him right now, and the flames of lingering love he still has for you. Just this week he figured he should destroy the pieces of papers that still Remind him of the old Times with you, so that he could move forward. He's in his late twenties already, he needs to get over with things and start looking up for his own future. No matter how lonely it seems like without you by his side.

He wish in another life, he could have the privilages to plan a future with you once again.

And maybe if that time does happen, he wish that everything wasn't just mere plans and wishes.

If he were to be given another chance, in another time or another universe,

He'll make sure to make every wish and plans he had in this life, a reality.

A solid reality of you and him.

But for this life, it seems like it was never meant to be.

- End

A/N: I hope I delivered well. Maybe- Actually I wish I could deliver my ideas better

Like wise, cover edit by me but the image belongs to the Haikyuu manga

#kuroo x y/n #kuroo x reader #kuroo angst #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu!! angst #haikyuu!! x y/n #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou x you #kuroo tetsurou angst

55 notes · View notes

rs-elane-blogsandfictions · 3 years

Text

BTS SCENARIOS/REACTIONS/ONE-SHOTS

Jungkook's One-Shot

Topic: His ex comes back to your lives when you two married and tries to get him back by creating problems inbetween you two...

Genre: Angst/Smut/Fluff

Warnings: Smutty, Angsty Contents ahead...

Rating: 18+ along with angst and drama

The following first few chapters would be though fluff and a little smut...

Part 1/Chapter 1

A/N's POV

You and Jungkook have been married for 5 years now! You were living an incredibly happy life with your love and tomorrow was your 6th Marriage Anniversary!! You were very excited about it and here you were in the kitchen, swinging around to the music while preparing lunch... You drifted back to some golden memories of yours and Jungkook's!

You were still not graduates when you two fell deeply in love and decided to get married, your family was against the relationship cause neither of you had jobs... And you were already broken without any hopes, but Jungkook still stayed strong and kept the idea of running away and marrying... He was ready to leave his family, and everyone just for you, just so that he could be with you, the person whom he cherished with all his heart and was so sensitive about ❤️

Thus, just after giving the final examinations, you two ran away together without a letter, message or anything behind, to start a new life! Your elder brother along with Jungkook's friends supported you a lot with this relationship! It was a small marriage with just your brother and his friends... The priest said the vows and the lovely speech he gave on your marriage... It was the first time he was the cause for your tears and that too tears of happiness! ✨

Then that kiss!! You still couldn't get over the feeling of his soft, plumb lips on yours pressed against tightly and moulded perfectly into each other... He was the only one who could make you feel that happy and protected! You just love this guy! And now after the lovely, dramatic marriage you two got a house to live in with the help of your brother and his friends! Seeing Jungkook and yours capability, both got jobs and earned a living together from a small one bathroom-kitchen-and-bedroom to a five storey luxurious apartment!

He didn't like the idea of you overworking yourself when he was there and thus he got you leave your job and enjoy your life at home and you just didn't argue cause you know it wasn't that he did it cause it hurt his pride but cause he cared for u and wanted to give you the best living he could give! And being a housewife didn't feel boring or like a jail when it was being Mrs Jeon! Everyday cooking for him and trying out different dishes just to impress him even though you know he'd like anything as long as it was made by u! Then standing at the door and waiting for the most handsome guy yet alive on earth!

And as he comes back, first see that bunny smile that lit on his face just for u and only u! Rest it never appeared for anyone apart his family and friends... Family that is long lost now... But neither of u regretted your decision to leave your family behind just to be with each other!! ❤️ After the smile your mischievous bunny lifting u up in his arms and pressing you against the wall just to talk dirty though which always ended in giggles from both your mouths and a sweet kiss before letting u down if it wasn't that he was turned on...

For child well... You can't become a mother... Both of you were really sad to know that, specially u as you felt guilty to be not able to give Jungkook a child... A little one of himself or you... It was a really depressing period of life for u but Jungkook seemed to be more stronger and mature than u on this topic and believed that he no longer needed anything if he got you and after knowing this assurance from his mouth, you felt better and better day by day until u forgot about all those regrets and moved on that depressing period!

As you were engrossed in your memories, the bell rang taking u out of your thoughts and u ran towards the door knowing who could it be at this time of the day! You opened the door just to meet the boxy smile you were expecting to meet, a handsome friend of your husband standing at the door with two cakes in his hand! One was for tonight's 12:00am night party and other one for tomorrow's evening celebration... "Hi Taehyung-ssi! Thanks a lot for bringing the cakes! If it weren't u, I wouldn't have been able to execute this surprise party out!", you said thanking the still smiling boy standing on the doorway before inviting him in...

You and his six friends, Taehyung, Jimin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Yoongi and Jin had decided to surprise your lovely husband with a barbeque party in your big yard at sharp 12:00am and ofcourse along with all the other stuff, cake was required for some delicious desert apart from all the grilled dishes you were going to have... Taehyung was incharge for the cake and it was done! Jimin and Yoongi were incharge for barbeque stand, tables and chairs and tents as you were going to sleep in your yard that night playing games and enjoying yourselves!! Rest of the boys were incharge for the food and you were to make sure that it is a secret until midnight to Jungkook! Jin was going to be the chef tonight!! It wasn't that you didn't cook great but this guy! Damn! His cooking skills were better than your mom's!!

Taehyung helped you keep the cake in the spare fridge where Jungkook never gave a glance... And now you called the others to update yourself with the status till now... Everything was done... The chairs and all were set! Food was bought which included chicken, salmon and other meats! Spices for marination and some leaves and veggies for garnishing the dishes... Afterall Jin left the plates with perfection! Though this time we didn't have any plates, instead sticks for the barbeque but Jin is Jin and you don't have any problem as long as food is made by him!

You cooked the lunch for all the six boys and yourself, Jungkook wasn't coming home until late evening so no worries till then... After eating your lunch which was Kimchi Cheese Bokumbap (Kimchi Cheese Fried rice), all the tired boys threw themselves on your big couch while you giggled seeing the tired men... It looked like a mother smiling at their son who just came from playground all tired and worn out...

It was past 8 pm at night and you knew Jungkook must be on his way to the apartment, thus all the boys hid themselves in your spare room, again a place being where Jungkook almost rarely went and which was half the time empty, except when your brother came to live with you two in the summers as he had one of his company's branch here which he looked after in the summer months of the year... The bell ranged and you excitedly ran to the door like a little girl does when he hears her father come... Though it was your husband not father but definitely, no doubt he was your daddy in bed!

As you unlocked the door, in revealed the most handsome, sexy and hot husband in his formal uniform! The uniform just made him look even more attractive and hot, the belt which gave you memories of nights when he tighted your hands with them, the watch gave a boldness to his wrist and the tie with button up shirt made him look so much masculine, not like he wasn't already, but just a smile could change that masquiline self to a soft ball of fluff! And seeing you his tired yet just fucked up kind of look changed into an excited, happy bunny who lept on you like a lion does his pray...

His bunny teeths never missing to showcase themselves, as he pressed you against the wall, which was his usual habbit, and then tugging you a little up such that you were now sitting on his thighs against the wall... He moved his face to your ears which already sent chills down your spine and make your body rub against his thigh from anticipation! Seeing the eagerness in you, he got even more turned on and whispered in a deep husky voice, "Baby is already getting so eager for daddy? What does my little kitten want her daddy to do? Should he just fuck her or should he tease her a bit more?"... Saying this his nose trailed down your jaw line and then to your neck...

You threw your head backwards and knew where it was going... It was another one of the nights where your lovely husband came home hard on and would just fuck you then and there... But even though u wanted it so bad... You had guests at your house which were to be kept a secret till midnight and also not to make them hear your moans and erotic noise from sex... Thus you had to leave your bunny boy unsatisfied this night... Though you'd make up for it tomorrow, on your wedding anniversary!

"Jungkook not today please! I'm... I'm.... I-... I'm on my periods" you lied not being able to think of a better excuse! But this guy ain't taking no shit! "Y/N... I remembered the date was 25th... And it's still 11th...!?" he asked raising his eyebrows... God! You suck at lying but definitely you had a simple answer to this one though... "I started with them early!"... Another lie but he just nodded and let you down and then again smiled widely before peppering your face with a thousand kisses! "If you need anything, pads... Tampons... Heat packs... Or pils... Just ask me and I'll get them for u! Okay baby?" he asked while caressing your cheeks with his thumb to which you nodded like an innocent child...

He then went inside to take a bath in your shared bedroom while you took a sigh of relief just to be met with coughs behind your back making you stiffen up... Ugh! You didn't want them to hear all that though... You turned around just to meet with six smirks thrown right at your embarrassed self! "Eager for Daddy!? Huh!?" Jimin said to which you scoffed... "And Periods.... Like you seriously couldn't get a better excuse" another one added just to receive another scoff from you... You send them back to their hiding place as you heard the shower stopping and door opening...

To be continued in the next chapter... It's gonna be dirty though with a game of Truth/Dare 😏 Angst is yet to come... First let's have some fluff and smut to prepare you for the heartbreak! 😁 Pics taken from Pinterest! DO NOT COPY MY WORK! OR REPOST IT ANYWHERE!

#bts #btssmut #btsfluff #bts one shot #bts jungkook #jk #jeon jungkook #his ex #fluff #smut #angst #BTS #bts ff #bts imagines #writers on tumblr #wattpad #reading #novel

26 notes · View notes

killthe-illusionarydreams · 4 years

Text

Chronic Emptiness

Fred x reader

After the war

Summary: Y/N having a depressive episode & Fred trying to help her through it. Basically me living vicariously through her. Soft moment.

Warning: Mentions of depression & plainly feeling like shit

——————

Y/N was exhausted. Not by her job or work, just mentally drained. This sort of thing happened sometimes. One moment she was okay, the next it all came crashing down on her & she’d feel pure hatred for the world she was living in. Fred had gotten used to it by now, he’d be the ever so caring boyfriend & try to help her through it however he could. Exept he really couldnt do much but reassure Y/N that he was there for her.

And of course Y/N appreciated him & all his efforts, she loved Fred more than life itself & everyone knew that. But sometimes she just needed space. Like today.

They were at a bar with George & Angelina and several other mates after their shifts had all ended from their various occupations. George & Fred at their joke shop, Angelia at the Ministry, Y/N at St Mungos.

Y/N never truly felt like she belonged, not growing up at home, not at Hogwarts, & certainly not in St Mungos where she was working as a nurse. Its not that she hated the job, more like it didn’t particularly cause her immediate joy. She just did it. She got on with it & did what she had to.

As her friends were dancing to the music Y/N leant into her boyfriends ear so he’d hear her say “Hey Fred I think I’m gonna head home early today, I’m tired.”

The man looked up at her, as if trying to read her thoughts “D’you want me to come with love?”

Y/N shook her head, declining the offer “No dont worry. I’ll go through the park, I need some fresh air anyway.” Fred nodded & bid her goodbye with a kiss, telling her to stay safe. “I’ll see you at home.”

It was already dark outside, the tall streetlamps being the main source of light for the woman, but she wasnt really paying attention to where she way going, not caring enough to look. Y/N got to the park near the flat where her & Fred lived, deciding to make a pitstop there she sat on one of the wooden benches that overlooked a small river.

Letting out a heavy sigh she put her head into the palms of her hands, it was feeling all too heavy lately. “Dear Merlin I’m so tired.” Mumbling, the woman rolled her head in her hands before sitting back up and gazing at the sky. Oh how beautiful it looked tonight.

Lighting up a cigarette, she put it to her lips & took a long inhale. She was supposed to be quitting smoking, Fred always got on her about continuing the habbit. In all honesty Y/N didnt care enough to stop, at this point she wasnt even sure if she still got the same boost of seratonin from smoking as she used to. But again, it didnt bother her.

“Fuck me why is life so draining?” She asked no one in particular, she knew why it was draining, the abundance of issues with her brain promptly being the answer. She just wished it were easier. Easier to deal with things.

Realistically Y/N had nothing to be unhappy about anymore, there was no war, she had a good life, an amazing boyfriend, a stable job, decent friends. But there was a permanent void in her heart that could never be filled. Ever since she was a child it stayed with her. Maybe her cold & harsh, unloving parents brought it on, or maybe how she didnt let herself feel love & would distance herself from anyone that ever got close to her. But it was there. Unmovable.

The woman let the smoke out from her mouth, sighing at why she was having another one of her episodes, feeling shitty about having said episode. Yet, there was nothing she could do to stop it from occuring. “Fuck off brain.” She mumbled to herself, cursing her biology & upbringing “Stop feeling so Shit.”

“I keep you alive you ungrateful idiot.” She huffed to herself “And I’m doing a pretty good job, so stop making me feel like its my fault.” It wasnt her fault. If it were, Y/N would know how to fix it & evidently stop feeing this way.

Some would say the war brought this Y/N on, but people knew that she was like this way before. However, before she was better at hiding it. Better at hiding the dark circles, the restlessness, the ‘I dont care what happens to me’ attitude. In all honesty it didnt bother Y/N that people knew she was like this, she didnt do it on purpose. And when she could- she’d be happy- the life of the party, in those instances she could hide her feelings. But sometimes they just got too overwhelming to bare.

“You’re being such a selfish prick.” She sighed and puffed on yet another cigarette “Go home Y/N. Go to the man who loves you.” Yet she made no motion to move. It’d probably been two hours since she left the bar, she wasnt keeping track of time, not feeling the need to.

Sometimes she thought that Fred didnt love her, not because he said something or did something, but because she thought that Fred puts up with her. Which wasn’t true, the man loved her to death, she made him feel alive. Y/N was a risk taker, an adventurer, someone that kept you on your toes- & he admired that about her. Y/N was smart & funny & the most gorgeous person Fred had ever seen, but he knew that behind her sarcasm & faux narcissistic comments, she didnt believe it. Oh what he’d give for the woman to see herself through his eyes.

A few more minutes passed & the woman got up with a sigh, throwing the butt of her cigarette down, she made her way home.

The door creaked open, a little too loudly for Y/N’s taste, she winced at the sound, hoping it wouldnt wake Fred.

“Where were you?” The light flicked on. Before her stood a dischevelled Fred, arms crossed “I got home and you werent here.”

“I was in the park.” She mumbled, taking her coat off “Lost track of time, sorry.”

Fred looked at the woman before him, he noticed the dark circles that she tried to cover prefousley with makeup, noticed the ash on her jacket and faint aroma of smoke mixed with sadness.

“Its fine.” He reassured her and went to hug her, pretending to not notice her cold body & how she stiffened when he touched her “Just let me know next time alright?”

The woman hummed in agreement and walked into the living room, as she sat on the couch she put the tv on to play some sort of muggle program but not really paying attention to it. She just didnt fancy Fred interrogating her about her feelings. She hated talking about them, normally just botteling them up. Maybe that was the cause of her unhappiness.

A few moments went by & she thought Fred had went to bed, but then she felt the couch sink next to her. “Here” he placed a blanket around her & handed her a hot mug of tea “You’re freezing.” Mumbling a thanks she sipped on her drink, not really feeling like talking she waited for him to say something, anything.

And he did “Is it getting bad again?” Oh. Was it? Probably. Most definitely.

“I’m fine.” She lied “I’ll be fine.” Y/N wasnt convincing anyone.

Fred watched her, not knowing what to say or do. He wished he could help, just magically cheer up the love of his life. But thats not how life worked. “You’re good enough.” He blurted out “You deserve to feel happy.”

Y/N didnt look up at him, she knew Fred was trying to help. But was he? I dont know.

“Do I though, do I really?” She finally asked with a sigh, those seemed to be coming from her a lot lately “Because I know I do, I just dont feel it coming to me and its so draining to get on with life when you feel worthless.”

Fred took in what she just said, pausing before trying to come up with a reasonable response “I know.” He sighed “I want to help you Y/N, what can I do?” What could he do though? Realistically?

“I dont know. Nothing. This’ll pass soon enough and I’ll be okay.”

Fred knew that, Y/N was always ‘okay’ or ‘fine’ or ‘just tired’ “But I want you to be better than okay. I want you to be happy, to enjoy life and all its moments.”

Y/N scoffed “And you think I dont want that?” There was a tense silence

“Why dont we take the day off tomorrow and go out somewhere? We havent done that in a while.” Fred suggested. It was true, with both of them being bombarded by work they hardly saw eachother in the last few months.

“Sure.” Y/N smiled sickly and set her tea down “Yeah alright I’ll just sack my job off to have a fun little date with you eh? Why not risk getting fired just because I’m feeling a little moody huh?”

Fred was taken aback by her words and immediately went back on what he said “If you dont want to thats fine I-“

“Im sorry” she cut him off “I’m sorry, that was a dick move I didnt mean it, just everythings gotten so much-“ she put her feet up on the couch to hug them “Im sorry.” A few stray tears fell onto her knees

Fred moved closer to her “Hey, its okay, its okay dont worry. I understand.” Oh sweet understanding Fred, Fred who gave you unconditional love and support. Fred who you keep snapping at.

Moments pass as he embraces you, your body leaning against his heavily. Not sure whether its the exhaustion or something else “I dont deserve you.” You mumble into his chest. He frowns cups your face in his hands, you lean in to his warm touch.

“Dont say that” you let out a quiet sob “Y/N you deserve the absolute world, and I wish I could give it to you & more. If I could take away your pain, I would. In an instant I would. You dont deserve to feel like this, to think like this. But I’m here for you okay. I love you, so fucking much you don’t understand.” He gazed into her eyes, wishing she could feel how much he meant it “You’re the best thing that happened to me & I’m going to prove it to you, whatever it takes Y/N.” He kissed your nose before letting you hug him tighter, relieved that you no longer shrunk away from his touch “Words cant express how much I love you.”

After a few more tears fall, Y/N laughs into his chest “Good because you’re stuck with me.”

Fred grins to himself “I wouldnt have it any other way.”

71 notes · View notes

thoughtsbylotte · 2 years

Text

Not being enough

You know these random situations that make you so uncomfortable and anxious? Even if it is such a simple thing. Nothing to loose your mind about. But it still makes you scared and you put the fault onto yourself even though it's clearly not your fault? Oh yeah. That's what happened to me the last couple of days.

grammer mistakes as english isnt my first language. be warned.

It's about a washing machine. so really nothign that important. i haven't had one since september and my room mate is not really behind us having a new one and sucks as communicating. like he never communicates with me. i finally got our landlord to send us a new one. it doesn't fit. my roommate and i had a miscommunication and afterwards i felt like crying. I didn't cry but called my parents while upset. But my dad got mad at me for being upset about such a trivial thing as i just turned 25. after me being scared about a little break in the window of my room. As they are just things. He told me nothing bad would happen so i should really just get over it.

It made me think. Like really think. Don't get me wrong. I love both of my parents but it really sucks sometimes. I noticed one specific pattern. Since I was a little child i always felt responsible. I only have one sibling. My twin brother, yeah we are fraternal. I always felt like I had to be in charge, talk to people because he was more calm and sat back. So i stepped up and always got told that i am so much better at talking to strangers and my parents wont worry about me. Its so clear to me know that i stepped up because i didnt want to disappoint my parents, not to be a burden and protect. In many ways i connect to Luisa from Encanto. That song really hit me deep. My brother and i are so different and he seems to be so much better at knowing what he needs and wants. I envy that. I do but then i also find him annoying sometimes. like every sibling does.

As a child i was such a daddys girl and always wanted to see him be proud but thanks to my family i have now a bad body image, hate myself and feel like i can never be enough. Especially my eating habbits are bad. I know how to eat correctly but I binge alot. Because it helps with my emotions. Having a curvy body doesnt really help me with my confidence and my dad once told me how he thinks i would be even more beautiful if i lost some weight. thanks dad.

But back to the thought that i should just get over it. I live in another country, away from my parents and i dont have many friends. so in many ways they are the only people i can call when i am distressed. so i do. but i know i need to stop that as it clearly only annoys them. and then they react that way and i feel liek i suck, i am so immature ect. I probably am immature and still got a lot to learn but that doesnt mean my feelings arent valid. i am allowed to feel these things if it helps me to get over them. i know next time i wont be as anxious about it.

After thinking about it I realised i feel so emotional about it because it brings me back to my childhood and my fear of letting other down while not having the emotional support from my parents that i needed. which then turned into anger which i hid deep inside of me. these feelings bubble up and make me so much more emotional. i feel some sort of anger towards my dad especially because he never really acknowledge my feelings. I have always been an child that cried easily and needed lots of hugs. but i always have been told quickly to get over it. So i never really learned how to handle my emotions. I learned how to hide them and then blurt them out when they get to much. It isnt healthy. Thats why i decided to use this blog to write my emotions down whenever i need to let it out. feel free to just ignore the post. but it feels better for them to be out in the world.

#anxious #not enough #encanto luisa #no mistakes #tw weight

1 note · View note

birth-fic-lover · 4 years

Text

Getting her baby

This was a mistake Holly told herself, she was a well regarded member of the comunity. She should not be getting a black market baby. She tried to tell herself that it wasn’t like this baby was going to be smugged into her house, just that she was going to simply pick this baby up and let her staff deal with the legal documents. She had herd about this before, women who would sell there babies to women such as her. She couldn’t wait any longer, she would rather pay the premiam price.

As she walked up the road she tried to take everything in, knowing one day she would be re-telling this tale to her child one day. On her arm was a carseat and over her shoulder was a baby bag full of blankets and outfits. She rang the bell and to her suprise a heavily pregnant woman answered the door. “Paula?” Holly asked.

“That’s me” Paula said with a grin, “you must be Holly” she said holding out her hand. “Unfortunatly as you can tell your baby has not arrived as of yet, but feel free to stick around till they arrive” she offered.

“Oh um, are you in labour?” Holly asked.

“I did loose my mucus this morning. I have been feeling a bit presure on and off for the past few days. But since you came all the way out here, you might as well stay the night. You would be doing me a favor as my usual birth partner has a family emergancy, beside you can watch the child come into the world. I will even let you cut the cord” she teased.

Holly thought about it, “I did have a hotel, but since your birth partner isn’t here. I will go get my suitcase”.

Paula waited for Holly rubbing her belly absentmidedly, she smiled when Holly returned. “It’s all one floor, since I spend most my time pregnant it makes sense not to have to bother with stairs”.

As they walked to the spare room Holly looked though an open doorway to see a room with a bed with plasic sheets, a birth ball and other things ready for the babies arrivel. Upon Holly securing Paula’s next baby, they had a long phone call. Paula told her there would be no making their birth plans, as she had all her babies in a desiganted room in her home. She liked the idea of an unassisted birth, though she had a partner with her just in case.

Hollywas wary about this idea, but was persuaded by the fact that Paula had many births. She was a pro it seemed, she even had been emailing Holly weekly reports. Holly knew that dispite her age, Paula was having a surprisingly easy pregnancy. Though she was a lot bigger then Holly expected, she looked overdue.

As they got to the guest room Paula turned and caught her looking at her, but she just laughed. “I know, they say each time you get pregnant you carry a little bit bigger. I seem to be oooofff proof of that” she said stiffening suddenly.

“Are you okay?” Holly asked.

Paula rubbed deep circles into her globe of a belly, “I think now your are here your child wants too meet you, with those kicks your child will be breaking my water in no time” Paula joked.

“Can baby’s really do that?” Holly asked.

Paula laughed, “I wouldn’t put it past them, one time I went into labour from laughing too hard. Your baby is real low on my hips, so labour could start anytime now”.

Holly had herd of about when bellies drop that is a signal the baby was ready, she also herd it could be uncomfortable. Holly place her suitcase on the bed and followed Paula as she left the room. “Can I do anything?”

“No, No. I was just going to make myself up a hot waterbottle.” Paula then stopped, her hands sliding down her belly. She suddenly felt a shift in weight inside her belly and got the sensation that if she didnt support it, it felt like the baby would just fall out. “On second thoughts, I think I will be needing to go into my birthing room just to be safe. Could you make me up that hot waterbottle?”

Holly nodded, she didn’t want to leave Paula’s side but want to help in anyway she could. She looked around the kitchen and she couldn’t find the hotwater bottle to fill. She resorted in turning on the electic kettle, then going to ask Paula where she put the hotwater bottle.

As she entered the room she saw Paula had taken her leggings off, rolling her hips on the birthing ball. Out of habbit she tired not to look at where she was just in her underwear, instead looking at her face and lace shirt.

Paula smiled, “if your my birthing partner you will be seeing me in much less than this” she remined her good naturedly. “I hope you are well rested, we have a long night ahead of us”.

“Yes” she said, “thank you for letting me be a part of this”.

“You ohhhhh, you were in lucky that the baby hadn’t arrived yet and I needed a birthing partner” Paula said with both her hands still on her belly. “I don’t usally like clients being here, they take too much control away from me”.

“You can do this how ever you like” Holly promised.

Paula gave a greatful smiled before a full contraction seized her, she held her hands out and natrally Holly held them letting Paula breath through it. “Hee hee hoooooooooooo, the pressure is starting”.

“This is so quick” Holly comented.

“After the amount of children I have birthed, I feel like my body doesn’t need long to prep” she explained still squeezing Holly’s hands tight. Over the next hour Paula’s contractions built up, they paced around the room each contraction more powerful then the last.

Paula could feel her contractions forcing the baby down into her birth canal against her will, as she dilated she prayed for her water to break. Until finally it was getting too much. ”Naaaaggggghhhhhh I need to get on the mattress” Paula requested as they headed there she stopped, “so much pressure...feels like it's gonna fall out of me." Paula’s grip was like a vice, "it's so low... so...naaaagggghhhh...fucking low."

“Do you need to push?” Holly asked wanting to get her on the bed before Paula collapsed.

“Naaaagggghhhhh no, my water hasn’t broken.” Paula wished her usual birth partner was here, she had the expreance to break her waters.

Holly helped again take a step towards the bed, it felt so far away with all the pain and pressure Paula was dealing with. She was hit with another contraction, her body was not giving her much of a break, This one shifted the baby even lower. "Naaaaggghhhhhh hooooo”, Paula moaned in responce to the involuntary push. She gasped for air and the moment she got relief she forced her body forward to the bed, knowing she needed to get into a good pushing position. As soon as her water broke she would be pushing this baby out.

Holly knelt on the bed next to Paula, she didn’t want to distract Paula knwoing she would ask for help when she needed it. Her belly would visabily tighten with each contraction, “NNAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH” she moaned loudly. The presure was never this bad before she swore. She was about to beg Holly to call an ambulance, when she felt the pop inside her and fluid gushed out.

“Naaaaghhhhh” Paula moaned not wasting anytime, she pushed and Holly saw Paula’s lips part slightly as the head started to bulge.

Paula could tell it wouldn’t take long, after the next push Holly could see a glimps of the baby’s head. Holly was amazed as slowly but surely the head kept inching forward, Holly held Paula’s hand filled with emotion.

"Nnnggggghhhhh...how...how much is out?" Paula asked.

“The head is half way out” Holly told her, to her suprise with the next contraction Paula didn’t stop till the head popped out with a gush of fluid. She let out a sigh of relief.

"There's...naaaghhh..no cord round it’s neck, right?" she asked Holly.

Holly checked, “no it’s all clear”.

Paula saw that as her green light, she pushed with all her might until she started pushing the sholders out one by one. With a last gush of fluid the baby popped out, the purple baby was rubbed on the back and started to pink up as it let out it’s cry.

Holly was filled with joy, “Thank you, we must do this again sometime” she joked.

“Maybe in another nine months?” Paula asked returning the joke.

184 notes · View notes

your-denki-kun · 3 years

Text

New Friends

A/N: There are no ships in this story. I don’t have hate for 1-A, but I just thought of this and had to post it. No hate to mitsuki either. This writing sucks by the way. Requests are welcome. Send me a message and you can request stuff.

What: Mentioning of abuse, angst, fluff, mentioning of selfharm, starvation, bad habbits, depressing thoughts, bullying.

Word count: 3.4K+

~3rd person pov.~

Once it was out it was out. Somehow people found out that Katsuki Bakugou got abused at house. He was often left alone, beaten and yelled at. Everyone fellt sorry for him and supported him. Izuku only fellt guilt however. Bakugou had told him during middle school, but Izuku hadn't believed him.

''I'm sorry I didn't believe you back then, Kacchan.'' Izuku says with sad eyes as he looks up at his childhood friend.

''Fuck off.'' Is all Bakugou barks before walking off.

''You didn't believe him?'' Todoroki asks shocked.

''Todoroki-kun!'' Izuku yelps.

''...'' Todoroki stares at him, waiting for an answer.

''I didn't. Auntie is always so nice to me, so I thought he was over reacting and lying.'' Izuku explains with a guilty face.

''So you don't believe me either when I tell you I'm being abused?'' Todoroki asks in disbelieve.

''Of course I believe you, Todoroki-kun!''

''So you don't believe your childhood friend, but you do believe me?''

''It's not like that.....''

Todoroki just walks off and heads to the canteen. Izuku looks at his back with teary eyes. From that point on it took a dark turn for Izuku. Todoroki told Uraraka, Iida, Tsuyu and Tokoyami. Uraraka told the girls and Ashido told the Baku-squad and Hagakure told her friends. Within two days the whole class knew what he had done.

No one talks to him anymore and they just glare at him. Izuku feels like he's back in middle school. People purposefully bump into him, say harsh words, hit him, etc. This caused Izuku to go silent. He sits on the roof during lunch, not eating while up their. He always looks down and he picked up on a few old habits.

Two of them being very destructive towards himself. He started starving himself and cutting again. It's something he did during middle school, but after All Might started training him he stopped. Seems some habits are hard to break. How a simple fight between Monoma and Cakugou can ruin everything.

The reason it came out was because Monoma and Bakugou got into a fight and Mitsuki was called to school, same for the parents off Monoma. When Mitsuki was done talking to Nezu she and Bakugou talked in the hallway. Mitsuki had called him names and even hit him a few times while Bakugou took it all.

His friends saw and stopped her. What had happened spread fast and now Izuku's life is ruined. He's glad that Bakugou is getting better, that people are helping him and that he's becoming his old self again from when they were kids. Izuku is breaking however and no one notices. Everyone turns their backs to him and he knows he deserves it.

That's the worst. He knows he deserves everything done to him, unlike in middle school. The only thing stopping him from ending it in middle school was because he knew that he didn't deserve the things done to him. Now he doesn't know that however and it's very destructive for him. He can't remember the last time he had a decent meal and it's starting to show.

''Hey, Midoriya. Is it okay if I sit down beside you?'' Kendo asks as she walks over to him. Izuku simply nods as he continues looking at the sky with empty eyes. ''I've been noticing how you go here every break and how you’ve been getting thinner. Did something happen?''

''It's nothing.'' Izuku whispers.

''Are you sure? Look, I don't want to pry and I know you're not part of my class, but you're still a student. Your class has been avoiding you like the plague and I don't know why, but I'm sure you have a reasonable explanation as to why you did what you did. If you ever want to talk to someone you can come to me.'' Kendo states with a kind smile.

''They hate me.'' Izuku whispers shakily.

''Why?''

''Kacchan is getting abused at home. He told me a long time ago, but I refused to believe him because auntie is always so nice to me and I was young.'' Izuku explains as his eyes tear up.

''I see. It wasn't good, but I understand. When you're young you don't understand a lot of things.'' Kendo hums.

''I did understand. I...I just thought that was how it's supposed to be at home. I believed that until everyone started treating Kacchan differently because of what auntie does.'' Izuku whispers as he looks at kendo with teary eyes.

''What do you mean?''

''Dad is never nice, neither is mom. I didn't want to believe Kacchan because auntie was the only one who was always nice to me and I refused to loose her. I was selfish and Kacchan suffered because of it.'' Tears stream down his face as his body trembles.

''So you're getting abused as well?'' Kendo asks in a soft, caring voice.

''Yes. Dad beats me because I'm gay and I am a late bloomer. Mom never stops him and even helps him. I never told a soul because in middle school it also happened all the time at school. I thought it was normal so I told no one. That's why I didn't tell a teacher what Kacchan told me, because I thought it was normal.'' Izuku sobs as he tries wiping his eyes.

''I'm sorry. I know it won't fix anything, but I'm so sorry you had to go through that. If you want you can sit with me and Tetsutetsu. I hope you don't mind that Monoma is also there from time to time. I'll be your friend and I won't leave you behind like your previous friends did. And I’m sure Tetsutetsu and Monoma feel the same way.''

''I can?'' Izuku whispers through his tears.

''Yes.'' kendo smiles reassuringly.

''I would like that.'' Izuku says with a faint smile.

''Great. From now on you're sitting with us at lunch and if you want to you can come to our dorms to hang out with us.''

''Thank you.''

''You're welcome. Good heroes always listen to both sides of the story.''

''They do.''

After that kendo stayed with him as they sat in silence. When the bell rang they went to their own classes and continued with their day. After school Izuku goes to his room and makes homework. The next day he feels a bit better when going to school, but as soon as he enters class his somewhat good mood gets destroyed.

''Oh look. The bitch is here.'' Kirishima scoffs.

Izuku just stays silent as he walks to his desk and places his books over the hateful words written on his desk. People keep whispering about him until Aizawa comes. He doesn't know about the things said or done to Izuku, because everyone hides it from him. As the lunch bell rings Izuku packs his things and heads to the canteen and sits down with Kendo, Tetsutetsu and Monoma.

''Hello, Midoriya.'' Kendo and Tetsutetsu greet.

''Hey guys. Thanks again for letting me join.'' Izuku smiles faintly as he sits down.

''No problem. That 2-A scum is really unheroic and this just proves it.'' Monoma scoffs.

''In a way you are true for once, Monoma.'' Tetsutetsu grins.

''Why don't you have any food, Midoriya?'' Kendo asks, raising one eyebrow.

''Ah, I'm not hungry.''

''Have you been eating well? You look skinnier than the last time I saw you?'' Tetsutetsu asks worried.

''Uhm...Yeah...''

''Midoriya.'' Kendo warns.

''No. I'm not hungry. I can't get much food down my throat before throwing it up. Sorry.''

''It's fine, Midoriya. Just try to eat a few bites of my food okay?'' Kendo reassures.

Izuku just nods and accepts the little bit of food Kendo gives him. It takes him a lot of effort to finish it. Kendo, Tetsutetsu and Monoma don't say a word about it and just talk with him about random things. Izuku really appreciates it a lot. After lunch he goes back to class and goes back to his silent, depressed self.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weeks go by and slowly Izuku is able to eat more and more. The cutting continues however and his new friends haven't found out yet. Monoma warmed up to Izuku, making them great friends and he will stand up for Izuku when he sees he's getting bullied. Right now Izuku is hanging out with Tetsutetsu. Both are in Tetsutetsu's room and just talking.

''Say, Midobro?''

''Yes, Tetsu?''

''How come the teachers don't do a thing?''

''Well, my classmates act somewhat normal while they're close.''

''Why don't you tell the teachers?''

''Because I get why they're acting like this. I did abandon Kacchan when he tried reaching out to me for help. I know deep down that I deserve what they are doing to me.'' Izuku whispers as he looks down at his lap.

''You don't. You had your reasons that explain why you reacted the way you did. The way they're treating you is not okay. Far from.''

''I know, but it's hard for me to believe I guess. For all my life people have been beating me down to the ground, for me all this is nothing. I'm dealing with it in my own way.''

''How are you dealing with it?''

''I just am.'' Izuku mumbles.

''No one just deals with it, Midobro. How are you dealing with it? Starving yourself?''

''Also.''

''What else?'' Tetsutetsu asks worried.

''I cut okay?! It helps me deal with the pain! Happy now?!'' Izuku exclaims with eyes filled to the brim with tears.

''No. I'm not happy, Midorbro. That's not good. You shouldn't do that.'' He whispers in shock.

''I know. And I stopped before going to UA and it has been going great. This shit isn't helping however and I need to deal with it. This is the only way I know. I'm not strong like others, I'm not.'' Izuku whispers as a few tears fall.

''You're not weak. If you were weak you wouldn't be here. So what if you have a bigger heart than most of the people here? That's a good thing. That means you are willing to help who ever you can. Don't let others get you down like this. You have me, Kendo and Monoma now.'' Tetsutetsu says as he moves over to Izuku and hugs him tight.

''I...Thank you. I'm sorry. I'll try to stop. I promise.'' Izuku sobs into his shoulder.

''Promise me that when you feel like cutting you'll come to me. I don't care how late or early it is, if I'm busy or sleeping. You can come to me. And if you can't sneak out then call. Can you promise me that?'' Tetsutetsu asks as he rubs the greenetes back.

''Promise.''

Tetsutetsu smiles as he keeps comforting the green bean in his lap. It's strang yet not for the both of them. They barely hug seeing they haven't been friends that long and Tetsutetsu isn't really the affectionate type, but it feels right to hug one another. Once Izuku calms down he just cuddles up to him and relaxes completely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

''Midoriya, can I talk to you?'' Aizawa asks after the school day ends.

''Of course.'' Izuku replies as he follows after his teacher.

He gets nervous when they start heading to the principle's office. He knows something is wrong when he sees Present Mic, All Might, Nezu, Midnight, Vladking and Ectoplasm there. He looks at Aizawa with big eyes, but the tired teacher just walks over to the other teachers and leans against the wall as he looks at the ground.

''Please sit down.'' Nezu says as he motions at the empty chair in front of his desk.

Izuku nods and sits down on the seat. He glances from teacher to teacher as he fidgets with his fingers. This is bad, very bad.

''I've been informed you knew that Bakugou was being abused, but didn't do anything. Is this correct?'' Nezu asks.

''Yes.'' Izuku whispers, causing multiple teachers to gasp in shock.

''I see. That's a bad thing to do. You knew about his situation at home and didn't do a thing. I was informed you didn't believe him. Is this correct?'' Nezu continues, face neutral as he folds his paws and leans them on his desk.

''Yes.'' Izuku whispers as he looks down at his lap with teary eyes.

''Well, if that's the case there is nothing left for me to do but to suspend you for two weeks.''

''Yes sir.''

''You can leave.''

Izuku nods and gets up, head bowed as he silently leaves the room. As soon as he closes the door behind him he runs down the halls and stairs until he's outside of the school building. He runs to the 2-B dorms as tears stream down his face. As soon as he reaches the dorm he slams open the door, startling everyone.

''Midoriya?'' Monoma asks confused.

''They suspended me.'' Izuku sobs as he falls to the ground.

''What?!'' Everyone in the common room exclaims.

Over the weeks Izuku has been friends with Monoma, Kendo and Tetsutetsu he also got to know the rest of 2-B and got on friendly terms with them. They all know the full story and why he did what he did, giving him twenty people who support him. Monoma, Kendo and Tetsutetsu rush over to him worried.

''Why?'' Kendo asks.

''Someone told Nezu that I knew and didn't believe him.''

''And they didn't even ask why you did what you did?'' Tetsutetsu asks as he holds Izuku close, a habit the two created after that one day.

''No.''

''We're going over there right now and we're explaining everything.'' Monoma states, getting up.

''Don't. There's no use. If they want to believe I would do something like that than let them. I'm so done with everything.'' Izuku sobs as he weakly grabs onto Monoma's pants.

''Midoriya.....We have to tell a teacher about what's going on.'' Kendo whispers.

''They won't believe me.''

''Why wouldn't they?'' Tetsutetsu asks softly, rubbing his back gently.

''I've told teachers before, but they just laughed, told me I deserve it and walked off. There is no use in telling them.''

''Our teachers are different. At least tell one teacher. One you trust.'' Kendo reasons as Monoma sits back down on the ground.

''Aizawa.'' Izuku whispers weakly, slowly calming down as he listens to Tetsutetsu's hartbeat.

''Okay. We'll come along to explain everything along with you.'' Monoma says as he gets back up.

Izuku nods as they all get up. Tetsutetsu guides him out of the dorms and back to the school building. Kendo and Monoma walk beside them as they try to cheer up Izuku. It works slightly and by the time they reach the classroom Izuku is smiling faintly as he walks on his own again. Kendo knocks on the door and they wait for a reply.

''Come in.''

And they do just that. The four of them walk inside and Aizawa frowns. Clearly the teacher aren't aware of Izuku being friends with people from 2-B. Aizawa just stares at them as they stand in front of him and the student desks. Izuku looks down at the ground as his friends look at him with encouraging looks.

''What's the meaning of this?'' Aizawa asks with a sigh.

''We find Midoriya's suspension wrongful.'' Kendo states.

''He kept important information from the school. He didn't believe a student when they confided in him.'' Aizawa states.

''I thought it was normal.'' Izuku whispers.

''What? You need to speak up.''

''I thought that it was normal. I thought it was normal until I saw how everyone reacted when someone saw auntie abusing Kacchan and told everyone.'' Izuku says, looking Aizawa in the eyes, his own teary.

''Abuse is not normal.''

''I know that now.'' Izuku whispers as he looks at his friends.

''That doesn't give you an excuse to do what you did.'' Aizawa deadpans as he sits down at his desk and pulls out some papers.

''Auntie was always so nice to me. I selfishly refused to believe Kacchan because I didn't want the last nice person to not be nice. I was so young when he told me. We were about seven. Kendo told me I probably just didn't know what abuse was, but I did. I do. Ii know what it is and what it does to a person.'' Iuku says as he leans against Tetsutetsu.

''My dad is far from nice and my mom doesn't do a thing, even joins. My past classmates from previous schools bullied me, beat me up, told me to attempt suicide, drove me to self-harm and starve myself. I was completely convinced that abuse is a part of life. I didn't tell a teacher because the teachers told me that I deserve it while laughing before walking off.'' Izuku softly sobs.

''Wha-''

''And I didn't tell any of the teachers about the bullying that's happening right now, about the words written on my desk, about the beatings, about anything because I know that I deserve all this. I was a bad friend towards Kacchan even though he trusted me with important information. I.......'' Izuku's voice dies down as he falls to the ground, unable to speak another word through his sobs.

''Why didn't you tell any of us while at Nezu's office?'' Aizawa asks as he looks at Izuku shocked.

''Because past teachers were never there for him like he just explained. When we first suggested going here after he was told he got suspended he told us not to go here, that if you guys believe he would do something like this to let you. That he's done with it. He's starving himself and he was cutting until Tetsutetsu convinced him to stop.'' Kendo explains as Tetsutetsu hugs Izuku once again.

''I see.....I'll inform Nezu about what you told me. Wait here.'' Aizawa says as he gets up and walks off.

Kendo nods as she turns around and crouches down. Monoma and her sit beside Izuku on the ground as Tetsutetsu calms him down. They sit there for a good thirty minutes before Aizawa walks back in. Izuku has calmed down by now and looks at his teacher with a broken look, eyes dull and sad.

''Your suspension has been withdrawn. You have tomorrow off to emotionally recover. While you're at the dorms I'll have a talk with the class. We want you to send us prove of the abuse so we can start a lawsuit against your parents. Kendo, Monoma and Tetsutetsu are allowed to stay with you tomorrow and enter the 2-A dorm building whenever they please without being stopped.''

''Thank you.'' Izuku whispers.

''My pleasure, now go back to the dorms.'' Aizawa says with the ghost of a smile on his face.

The four friends get up and walk out of the building. Izuku smiles as he walks with his friends. He's relieved he told a teacher, it feels good and relieving to do so. His friends are just glad action will be taken. They all walk to the 2-B dorms and tell everyone there, who now know what happend because the ones who were in the common room told to the others, what had happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Izuku is nervous as he stands in front of the classroom. He stares at it for a bit before walking in. He looks down at the ground as he walks over to his desk and sits down. He frowns slightly when he doesn't see any words written onto his desk, it deepens when he notices how quiet the classroom is.

''Deku-kun....I'm sorry for how I treated you.'' Uraraka says softly as she stands beside his desk.

Izuku looks up at him with wide eyes as the rest of the class also apologizes as they go to stand around his desk. All Izuku can do is stare at the with wide eyes as he's frozen in place. His mouth hangs open as he tries saying something but fails miserably. Slowly he recovers and he shakes his head before looking from classmate to classmate.

''Why are you guys saying sorry?'' Izuku asks as he tilts his head to the side.

''We treated you horribly without asking you why you did it.'' Ojiro explains.

''But what I did was bad. Kacchan trusted me with important information and I selfishly brushed him off. As a hero others come before myself. So there is no need to apologize for something you had all the right to do.'' Izuku says with a smile.

''Midobro....That's so manly and sad at the same time.'' Kirishima whispers with teary eyes as he holds his fist over his heart and looks up at the ceiling.

''It's not manly or sad it's the truth.''

''It fucking ain't, Shitty Nerd. Just accept their fucking apologies and get this shit over with.'' Bakugou grumbles as he walks over to his seat and somehow manages to sit down.

''Well, apologies accepted then.''

#bnha fanfic #bnha fanfiction #bnha #class 1-a #class 1-b #Izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #izuku #midoriya #aizawa #all might #vladking #ectoplasm #nezu #midnight #present mic #angst #cringe

14 notes · View notes

myfootsonfire · 3 years

Text

My family has this really bad habbit where when I ask them for help with medical stuff, like talking to doctors about furthering my treatment and needing help with appointments and shit they go "but it's your body and your appointments and you need to take charge of them, no one knows what's going on with you better than yourself and you need to take charge or else you'll never get anywhere in life." But then they turn around and tell everyone else about how great they are for helping me while I'm in so much pain and can't take care of myself. And if as by of my symptoms get in their way, like if they ask me to do something I can't do, or if I get frustrated for not being able to move it's always "you're so selfish and only think about yourself, you never think about how your behavior affects me, and you always make up excuses to say no to do what I want you to do, you're terrible and abusive and your exaggerating everything to be lazy and you're never going to do anything with your life ever." Like yeah that's totally what familial support looks like. Especially since recently the family member in question went in and told my therapist a bunch of lies about me to have a Crisis counselor come see me ( I had an anxiety attack while she wasn't even in the house and she told them that I was behaving violently and hurting myself and others, when all I did was take a shower and watch Netflix in bed while I calmed down) and then she decided to diagnose me with bi-polar disorder (she isn't anything resembling a medical professional) and is now using it as an excuse to use "tough love" on me wherein she's neglecting me and purposefully triggering my trauma from years of severe child abuse because I apparently "live in a fantasy" and "don't know what the real world is like." Man idk maybe I really am growing crazy but it's almost like I've been in online spaces for mentally ill and abused people for nearly a decade, and I've been the only person in the family to legitimately study my numerous severe medical diagnosis's because I'm the only one that actually wants me to get better instead of being used my entire life, hmm maybe I'm wrong here but this to me sounds like a severe form of gaslighting and a severe cry for attention as well as victimising yourself against a disabled family members who is in your care because they currently can't take care of themselves. Man idk dude as someone who has had to be very introspective about their mental health and had always been very open about their experiences it's almost like if I actual had bipolar disorder, and it wasn't some tool you were using to try and discredit the fact that you're manipulating and abusing me, I'd have been diagnosed with it already, considering that I've been processed and screened for many things so far, and have been medicated and treated for all of them. Man, that's also a hugly disgusting way to demonize people that have bi-polar disorder, like of that's what you think all people with bi-polar disorder are like and that's what you need to do to then, then you should never be around a person with any mental illness ever! Sucks that you're literally my only relative I have left considering my mom is a homeless drug addict and lives in a trailer in the middle of the woods and my dad has decided to disown me because he is also a peice of shit that doesn't think any of my diagnosed medical issues are real and has literally threatened me and severely neglected my health because if that lol, and I literally have no where else to go because no one is fucking taking me seriously and I can't fucking move lol! This is so much fun I love this isn't life super great I love alive and being surrounded by so many supportive people in my life that are very considerate and caring of the fact that I am disabled it's so much fun yes sir the world is perfect and the only reason things are wrong is because I'm an asshole that has fucked up everything else on purpose because I want to do nothing with my life! Yeah makes perfect sense!

#venting #abuse #abuse mention #neglect #neglect mention #ahah sorry for venting here im alctually starting to go fucking insane with whats been happening with these people

1 note · View note

madllamamomma · 3 years

Note

Hiii, 35, 36 & B? For Rhemy and Ava!💕

35) How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Rhemi— She will genuinely match their friend’s excitement, she is very supportive.

Ava— They don’t get as excited as Rhemi, they are not bubbly like she is. But they are very supportive of their friends and family. 100% back you the fuck up.

36) Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

Rhemi— Ok... Before she died, she had a bad habit of seeking romance, and had very shitty boyfriends. She kept going back to one very toxic relationship and Asra tried to convince her that he was a shitty person. After she died, she almost (unknowingly) reverted back into the the same bad habbits when she went to the tavern in The Guardian~, but realize that she didn’t want that. She then waited for love to fall into their lap.

Ava—They never really had a crush on anyone until Rhemi. I never mentioned, but they are demi-sexual. They didn’t think that love was something they wanted until they saw what Rhemi and Muri had, just never thought about it. But they are just waiting for the right person to come along 👀.

B) What inspired you to create them?

Rhemi— I never exactly make 100% ‘self-inserts’, but most of my main characters are based off of me or a part of my personality. Rhemi is very much like myself in my younger 20s, naive, optimistic, silly, can be really awkward to people, and still figuring life out (I’m still figuring out life and awkward to people, but less so).

Ava—I remember reading Khamagalai saying that not all of the Kokhuri died, and my imagination went wild. In my heart, I reallllly wanted Muri to have a family. He deserves to have one, even if it was a distant family. After thinking about Muriel being with his family and what the others would be like, Una was the first I thought up, then the others fell in. I thought of having a younger person kinda around Muriel’s age that he could relate to. Idk where exactly I got the idea of Ava being mute after a terrible tragedy. I think I unconsciously made them everything that I love and hold dear about being a therapy assistant, people are adaptable and can overcome adversity. I knew I wanted Ava to have a twin (Shona was always her preppy, girly, self). I wanted them to be the polar opposite to their sister. So I was on the fence of making Ava a male or female, (that’s actually partly how Shawn was made). But I finally said ‘fuck it’, and made them non-binary, and I am way happier with that choice. They are my favorite OCs and story arch’s I have created to completion. It was very freeing, their arch was never about their gender role, or anything like that, but it was about their development, emotions, and growth, and I loved that so much. Anyone can relate to them.

Woof, sorry for the long ass response 😅

✨Thanks for the asks, love! 😘❤️

#the arcana #madllamamomma #the arcana game #muriel x apprentice #journey back to the south #muriel x mc #ava of the kokhuri #rhemi the apprentice #momma’s ocs #madllamamomma’s ocs #thanks for the asks!#ily 😘😘😘#mwah 😘#ava my oc #rhemi my oc

7 notes · View notes

notthefilmreview · 4 years

Text

17 year old watches MIRACULOUS LADYBUG: ZOMBIZOU

Hey it’s Dana!

As you can tell from the title I’m obviously 17 and today I’ve decided to watch the Miraculous Ladybug episode Zombizou (admittedly not the first time I’ve watched Miraculous) because this episode is about zombies and I LOVE ZOMBIES.

Horror movies in general are great and usually when a series decides to do a horror themed episode I’m sitting there ready to watch, but zombie movies are arguably superior (don’t @ me).

However, I am a tad bit sceptical about a kids show doing a zombie themed episode because obviously they won’t kill anyone - RIGHT!?!

And also how are they going to transfer the infection? Are these children going to go around biting each other???? Not gonna lie, if they do, that’ll be a dark twist I’m ready for.

This probably won’t happen because Huffinton post does recommend it towards 6 - 15 year olds so…

Anyway, read on for my reaction to Miraculous Ladybug Zombizou…

Lol, okay, so we’re not into the episode yet but I paused the screen at this moment and it looked kinda funny so I thought I’d just share.

So while I see why everyone’s so annoyed about Chloe forgetting Ms Bustier’s birthday it just doesn’t really matter. Most teachers don’t really care about all their students remembering their birthdays and most students either don’t know when their teachers birthday is or they don’t even bring it up (at least that’s what happened in my student experience lol, I don’t know about the rest of you).

Also, everyone does know about Chloe’s issues with her parents so they have to understand that she has a habbit of forgetting special occassions or showing sentimentality.

ALSO, there’s bound to be someone else in the class who’s forgotten Ms Bustier’s present - not just Chloe. Why aren’t they ganging up on them? Like what about Adrien? What did he get her with all that money he has stored up?? Huh???

#ChloeBourgeoiseDefenceSquad

Okay…so I’ve got to admit that was a bit rude of Chloe to do, but what do you expect when everyone constantly mocks her for not getting Ms Bustier a present? I’m just surprised she never did anything like this on Ms Bustier’s previous birthdays.

#StillChloeBourgeoiseDefenceSquad

On a side note: Ms Bustier is an absolute angel! Seriously, I don’t know how this woman manages to keep her patience teaching these hormonal 14 year olds every day while some deranged butterfly akumatises them on the daily.

On an extra side note: Ms Bustier is so pretty! Why doesn’t she have a boyfriend? (or a girlfriend?) She seriously has everything going for her: patience, love, support, good-looks, good with children…

How does Marinette manage to keep up her hobby of fashion, save Paris, get her schoolwork done, WHILE being the Class Representative? I can’t even handle just my A Levels and she’s out there doing all of this at 14??? What is this wizardry???

Also, I kinda hope Marinette gets akumatised because that would just make it so much more harder to get rid of the zombies.

Okay, so if I were Marinette I would have just transformed into Ladybug when the akuma was coming after her and Ms Bustier. She can obviously trust Ms Bustier to keep her secret and it may even help when she needs to miss class or get extensions on her homework or even cover for her when she needs an adult to do stuff…Then, Ms Bustier wouldn’t have been akumatised!

Wow Ivan truly deserves better! He is such a little sweetheart for offering to hold Mylene and Sabrina back while everyone else runs off to safety. BUT - look at Adrien over here doing absolutely NOTHING! I know that there’s a rule that they shouldn’t let anyone else know their secret identities but sometimes there should be exceptions - like in this situation.

Like with Marinette and Ms Bustier earlier, if Adrien just transformed maybe even in the classroom when Zombizou first broke in then he could have saved Sabrina, Mylene, and Ivan. Then he could have easily guided everyone to safety without thinking about when and where he should transform.

Lol, don’t lie Marinette, you secretly liked that…

I do like the whole “is anybody here?” thing with Ladybug going through the school trying to find survivors like a real zombie movie.

Smooth, Adrien, smooth…

I love how Adrien attempts to take advantage of the situation to kiss Ladybug! At least he tried; it was worth a go.

However, it does lead me to wonder what would happen if he actually did land a kiss, making Ladybug believe she’s infected. But then he has to explain to her that he’s actually not zombie-fied. That would be quite awkward.

Also he just looks so extra and in love in this photo!

Lol, also Alya blaming Chloe for why Adrien got kissed is actually quite funny. I don’t know why but it just felt as though Alya just wants another reason to hate on Chloe. #ChloeProtectionSquad.

Awwwwww look at that little back hug! That is actually just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life! Mylene and Ivan are just so cute together!

This is quite a cool shot with all the survivors being on the roof, waiting for their leader (Ladybug) to tell them what to do next. It’s such a zombie movie trope!

Kim looks like he’s just seen his whole life pass before his eyes and he’s determined to do something heroic (such as possibly sacrificing his life for his friends).

Max, Nino, and Alix look like they’ve given up.

Alya and Ladybug look like the leader and the co-leader discussing what they need to do to get out (and possibly what sacrifices they need to make).

Juleka and Rose look like The Couple! Omg they are just as cute as Ivan and Mylene! If anything happens to them I will give Chloe up to Zombizou myself! (Sorry not sorry, Chloe).

Finally, Chloe looks like that one person everyone hates in the group. Those types of survivors in zombie movies usually come into a stable group (mostly by being saved) and then mess everything up. They’re usually the one who *accidently* gets everyone killed and then survives at the end! We hate those types of people…

So, if I were Zombizou I would just send my kisses off into Paris to just try and catch people. Her kisses are a lot faster and can reach high places, unlike her zombies, and the gang is on the roof so they’re basically sitting ducks for her kisses.

Here it comes; this is the point in the trope when one by one everyone decides to be heroic and make a sacrifice to save the-last-hope/main-objective/the-key-t0-the-end-of-the-virus (aka Chloe). While I think it was quite heroic for Max to hold back the zombie’s and for Rose to go out and save Chloe, Chat Noir and Ladybug could have easily done that themselves without getting kissed!

I just feel like this episode has underused and underemphasises (is that a word?) their powers to make their classmates seem more heroic. On one hand that is good for character development but I do feel as though they could have done that in a different way.

For example, they could have had Ladybug and Chat Noir possibly kidnapped by Zombizou or something like that (basically the heroes aren’t there to help them) but they all know, possibly from a transmission from Ladybug, that they need to safely get Chloe from the school to some checkpoint. Then, on the way, each classmate makes their own heroic sacrifice until finally it is just Chloe at the checkpoint (possibly just with Alya because Alya hates her so much) and they use Chloe as bait (willingly, of course) while Alya frees Ladybug and Chat Noir and they save the day.

Just a thought :)

Firstly, Rose and Juleka are so cute together and basically act like a couple so why can’t they just make it official????

Secondly, omg the hiding-the-bite trope!!! Ahhhh! I usually hate these people and just hope they die already BUT, in this circumstance when it’s my sweet little Rose who risked her life to safe Chloe, I just feel bad for her AND for Juleka.

Okay do you see those hands??? That is not how you hold a friend, just saying…

This was quite an emotional scene and just makes me love Nino so much more! The fact that he decided to stay with her, trusting that Ladybug and Chat Noir would fix everything but also not completely knowing that they will, just shows how he’s such a reliable and loving guy. I would seriously trust Nino with my life; why can’t he be my boyfriend????

I’ve never been such a big fan of Alya as a good friend to Marinette but I feel as though Alya and Nino together is much more better. But that may just be because Nino’s such a sweet boy who loves his girlfriend and his friends so much and deserves so much love back. #NinoProtectionSquad.

I feel really bad for Ladybug! She’s only 14!!!!!! And she has all these people relying and trusting in her to fix everything. It must be so traumatic for her!

Since it’s a kids show they obviously won’t venture into how traumatic all these experiences (watching all of her friends become zombie-fied) are for Marinette but I can’t help but ponder on how messed up her brain is.

Although she may fix everything with her Miraculous Ladybug, it’s only the exterior that is fixed - not the trauma.

It does cause some people to forget what happened, only she (and Chat Noir of course) know what really happened.

Do you ever think they get nightmares about these things? Because they’re seriously just 14 year olds with the weight and order of the world resting in their hands, which is quite a parallel to the power rangers (and they’re probably all messed up in the head as well).

That was quite redeeming of Chloe to sacrifice herself for Ladybug. Yes, you go girl! #ChloeRedemptionSquad!

Hawkmoth was a bit stupid for making her central power the lipstick because it does easily rub off after a long day of terrorising the Paris…so this ending did seem a bit anti-climactic because it was just make-up remover. Make-up remover, really? After all your classmates sacrifice themselves, all you needed was some make-up remover???

This is really cute and seems like a mother-daughter type of interaction. And we do know that Chloe’s parents are practically absent so what I’m saying is - what if Ms Bustier just adopts Chloe??? #ChloeAdoptionSquad.

Okay, that was really cute. Although Chloe didn’t apologise to the rest of the class, she finally decided to make an effort and get something for Ms Bustier. I also love how she didn’t tell anyone because that is quite humble of her but Marinette and Alya did see her so that does make her look better in their eyes. Yay #ChloeRedemptionSquad!

Overall, the episode was really interesting and did seem like a zombie-type movie (especially if it was longer *cough* *cough* Miraculous Ladybug: The Movie *cough* *cough*). The end was quite annoying with Ladybug defeating Zombiezou with just makeup but the ending did redeem itself by having Chloe also redeem herself.

What other episodes of Miraculous Ladybug should I watch next???

#miraculous fandom #miraculous ladybug #chloe bourgeois #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #adrien agreste #chloe protection squad #chloe deserves better #ivan x mylene #rose x juleka #adrienette #movie #movie commentary #movie watching #series #zombizou #adrien x marinette

28 notes · View notes

gamer--grill · 5 years

Text

Catherine: Full Body game review. Spoiler alert!

Catherine: Full Body is a recreation of the original game Catherine made in 2011 by the game company Atlus, the same creators of the Persona games. It's a very story oriented platform puzzle game and follows the story of a man who's questioning his life and relationships.

Plot

So the story follows a man named Vincent Brooks, age 32, as he struggles with his hesitancy to commit to his girlfriend of 5 years Katherine and with the terrifying nightmares that plague him. At the very start of the game we meet Rin, formaly known as Qatherine, as she's running from her stalker in the streets. Vincent saves her and finding that she has amnesia and doesnt know anything about herself, she gets a job at the Stray Sheep playing piano, she is also Vincent's new neighbor.

2nd, we meet Catherine, a young, sexual blonde who comes into the Stray Sheep and has a drink with our protag. Vincent gets drunk out of his mind and in the morning he wakes up with Catherine naked beside him. He freaks the fuck out and here starts the love square as he struggles to hide his infidelity from both Katherine and Catherine while dealing with his growing affections for Rin.

Gameplay

The real meat of this game is in the nightmare segments. Every night you're transported to a world where you have to climb a tower of cubes before they fall out from under you and you become a heaping plate of sheep meat. And what they don't tell you about the puzzles is THEY ARE HARD, OH MY GAWD! If you play on hard or even normal be ready to throw your controller out the goddamn window and question your life choices bc if puzzles aren't for you then you're gonna have a bad time.

The game's puzzle segments have improved greatly with an additional difficulty setting called Safety where it's impossible for you to die, there's no timer so the floor doesn't fall out from under you, and you have an auto play and skip options so if you're feeling lazy you can have the game play its self or just skip the puzzle entirely. There's also a back camera so if you need to climb to the back of the puzzle you can actually see what you're doing instead of scrambling around like a sheep with its head cut off. The trap blocks are also disabled in Safety mode. After you get to the top of each block tower you'll come to a platform where you can save, talk to people and buy items that help you climb (they bring down your score of you use them fyi.) After that you'll get into a confessioanal booth where you'll be asked a question where you'll have to answer either 1 extreme or the other. This is the main thing that will determine the outcome of the game. This game has multiple endings and depending on what you choose that will decide the ending that you get and the paths you take. There's a total of 14 endings in this game including alternate endings that are exclusive to Catherine: Full Body so this game makes up for its relatively short play time by having high replay value. They've also added new questions to the game so it won't be the same questions that you answered if you played the original Catherine.

There's an option called Remix where there's entirety new kinds of blocks in the puzzles to deal with, I didn't play that but it looked intersting.

Other than the nightmare parts of the game, you spend you're time at the Stray Sheep drinking, talking to you're friends, bar patrons and Rin. You freqently get txts on your phone from all 3 of the girls and unlike the original game you get phone calls now and pics from all of the women, not just Catherine 😈😈. The best thing about the bar is that it's entirely optional. There's no extra fluff you need to slog through. You can just skip entirely passed it if you don't feeling like drinking or talking but it's all so atmospheric that you'll want to do it. Plus drinking more helps you move faster during the puzzles so bottoms up, bitches. 🍸🍺🍻🍷🍹🍶

Character's

I'm only gonna cover the love intrests bc they're the only ones who matter really.

Qatherine (Rin)

Oh. My. God. I can't even begin to tell you how good her story is. Her genuine innocence, kindness and sincerity help Vincent greatly as he deals with the traumatic nightmares and his relationship problems. Early on we can really feel the affection that he has for her and it seems completely natural that they would fall in love. In fact later in the game he kind of admits that he did fall in love with her. This is how good it was, when I messed up and didn't give the right answers for her path to be unlocked I was so pissed off when the cutscene finally came that I would have shouted at my screen if my dad hadn't been sleeping next door to me. Rin also has a unique place in the game. Unlike the other 2, she actually appears in the nightmares and helps you by playing her piano. That added comfort she gives Vincent really adds to her relevance and pefectly supports the way to a loving relationship should you choose to persue one. She's the most fulfilling love option. She's also not human. Or a girl.

Katherine

Katherine is already your long time steady gf when the game begins. Mature and sensible, she almost resembles a mothering role with the protag. She's always worried about him and his drinking habbits and how clean his apartment is. But she's not without her soft side either. She brings him cake and wants to persue a deeper commitment with him. She's very smart and ambitious but also quite understanding when it comes to Vincent's bumbling clumsiness. She truely wants the best for him and their relationship. This is expanded by the memories that are shown to you about their early relationship when they first fell in love. Which didn't happen in the original game. She represents the security and familiarity that comes with having a long time relationship.

Catherine

Catherine isn't actually a human at all. She's a succubus who was brought to specifically temp the protag into a steamy affair. She's described as "his dream girl" and represents the fantasy and freedom that people secretly crave. She's appears unassuming and innocent on the outside but is actually very shrewd and aggressive as shown when she beats the shit out of Vincent in the bathroom of the bar if you choose to break up with her. She also threatens to kill you early on if you cheat on her. She's very emotionally vulnerable and actually falls in love with the protag as the game progresses. If you break up with her she'll beg to stay with you, stateing that "I just wanna be your girl." And that she's ok with you marrying some one else. Then she cries. Then beats you up. It's all very hilarious and strange. Also no one else can see her except Vincent which leads to chaos near the end of the game. Her endings are actually pretty nice so give her some consideration.

Graphics

As this is a ps4 game, it goes without saying that the graphics are better than the original. The cematics really have the polished Persona 5 look to them. The colors are super bright and vibrant it's like a feast for your eyeballs, I just love it. When you do get a loading screen, which isn't often, you get blasted with that signature vibrant pink and the title screen has a whole new look to it. The style is there and I am here for it.

Interesting stuff

These are just things I personally found awesome.

In the begining, the hostess Trisha (she explains the whole story and presents it to you as a soap opera) aknowleges that this game is the new better version of the first.

The cubes with faces on them open their eyes when you stand in front of them.

When you reply to txts in the bar, you don't have to cycle through options anymore, just scroll and select.

There's Persona music on the bars jukebox including the opening song to Persona 5

There's Persona 5 Easter eggs. Just look around. 😉

There's a rich Muslim dude who you get to talk to on the platform after you climb the puzzles so if you're concerned about "representation" it's there.

Overview 8.5/10

Catherine: Full Body is an intersting, unique and stylish game that brings a fresh new concept to gaming and I really recommend it. It's strange and it does what it does and it does it well bc it's not trying to please or pander to anyone. The story is good and the style is showy and I love it.

I hope that you enjoyed this review and that your gamming experience is a little better.

#catherine full body #game reviews #video games #atlus games #atlus #persona 5

54 notes · View notes

bloojayoolie · 5 years

Photo

Advice, Alive, and Being Alone: NSFW This is the start of a beautiful thing. Say something nice, or share a cat fact. Today happy_cat7 2:32 AM Bro, your comment on that girl's post about being single is unacceptable. First of all, being alone is on you. Your attitude got you there. Second, how does having autism make girls not as good as "being normal". That's the "best" you can get? Not even that man. Because we're smart enough to know to stay away from guys like you. People with autism don't use either. You know why? Because we're socially awkward, which is perfectly fine, and we're smart. Only people who were raised improperly will use people, and that has nothing to do with autism. You need to snap back to reality. people 2:39 AM NSFW Heya. You might be right and i really might have a shirty opinion, but just because you have moral highground and all the right reasons to call me out for my faulty reasoning does not mean i can simoly 'get my shit together' with waving a magical wand or such. The socially isolating and introvertly shy lifestyle on top of being just average has not done me much good when it comes to having a girl or relationships at all. Sure i might have a because of that and not have best reasoning but then what? not being able or allowed to even express my feelings even if they are ones? To just shut the fuck up and just 'BE' something that i an not in 0.5 seconds? shirty outlook on life faukty Goddamn typos... happy_cat7 2:43 AM Maybe you should actually try to understand them? I mean seriously, communication is key bro 2:43 AM NSFW Understand who? happy_cat7 2:45 AM People. People with autism or just people in general $2:46 AM NSFW I might be on a spectrum myself and it probably sounded way wrong as what i intended it to sound like so ifet why you got so ypset Ffffd And even when you are my faults, i dont mind. but giving superficial, shallow and just bad advice is not so cool though right to call me out on happy_cat7 2:49 AM Yeah, well I get pretty defensive sometimes when it comes to people with autism, because we seriously don't deserve to be treated so poorly ya know? And there's literally nothing wrong with us, our brains just function a little differently. So when people talk badly to or about autistic people I get mad 2:51 AM NSFW An average guy who might as well be autistic and is inteoverted as fuck...without a single relationships ever in his life....the best u can do is 'try to understand leople in general? gee thant helps, and i do realize how aggressive and cold i sound, it is voice of desperation and desair talking... Despair happy_cat7 2:55 AM Well what I'm trying to say is communication is key. I know it's not easy to understand people sometimes, and being introverted makes communication hard. I already know that. That's been my whole life. But I've always tried to push past it. It also helps if the person you're talking to isn't a jerk and actually tries to understand that you have trouble communicating (I've had that happen to me, a "friend" called it an excuse. We're not friends anymore) 3:09 AM NSFW Well, thanks for calling me out on my bullshit, i was wrong to write whatever was on my mind without thinking any of it over, my bad. But i'm fucked as i was and i know i am empathetic, kind and mean well in my daily life, but that constant inability to create relationships/friendships in my daily life has pushed me into a state of despair the anger and rage is clawing out from deep within as i lash out at people who have done me no wrong. Isolation and inteoversion is not a simple lifestyle change on a something that i am not and if i tried i'd be fake as fuck and could not live with myself, so i remain timid and awkward, confidence and self-esteem is not found in a pack of pringles neetly stacked and ready to be indigested for success. It feels like peasent farmer person without education and manners of a noble to flip of a switch. I can be just start acting like one. It is hard to just live life on daily basis with knowing that it will not really get all that better. Isolation and lack of empathic friends is killing will to live quite fast. And i am one of a insane number of guys like me, there are soothe the pain of it yet i take none of it, no drugs, alchohol or cigaretes or anything like |that, i eat healthy and work out, i help my family out and keep it cool with them. But alart from that i ama broken person who feels pain of being alive being alive alone without a friendly soul to just be there for me from time to time. plenty of bad habbits to turn to to You are female and by reading this you know and think that there is no way in hell that you'd be around a lerson like me wven just for support. Who likes weak men...but should they all just up and off themselves? To change there needs to be massive pull |towards something, will to live and achieve something, but what about those whose will has been stomped, abused and rejected in childhoods, for those who grow up broken and without guidance? Does taking random happy pill advice help such people? Zombie pills or forever-sleep injections for the unworthy i dunno, all i can say is that it feels soul crushing. Well fuck, you likely don't care for any of it and i am just bothering you, if you read this far then i'm sorry for consuming your resources ar ruining you mood, go be happy and free like a cute little girl you are. happy_cat7 3:20 AM Hey man don't talk down to me like that, I'm trying to sleep. Yeah I'm human I sleep. I guess I was wrong about your change of attitude, the second you don't get attention you talk to me like I'm 4'3 and still drink from a sippy cup. Piss off Message Daggerforce ur/ He said crap about autistic people. I thought he changed his attitude.. Nope. Threw a pity party, when he didn't get the attention he wanted he talked down to me

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Advice #Alive #and Be

4 notes · View notes

hurlumerlu · 5 years

Note

Merrill!!!!

!!!!

do I like her : I love her. I think she is one of the most complex and well written character in the entire franchise.

5 good qualities :1) her pride. First of all, that’s hot. Second of all, that’s hot. But also it means that she don’t hesitate to make a stand or go against everyone else if she thinks it’s required and that’s hot something I respect.

2) this one is more of a quality in her writting but bear with me : I love that she’s an incredibly prideful, pigheaded person AND an anxious mess with crippling self-esteem issues. Because most of the time you only get one of those traits in a character, especially in a female character, or if you get both it’s played for comedy and/or as an alternate personality thing. But no, Merrill gets to be both, and as someone who is also both I deeply appreciate the representation.

3) that she views spirits not as convenient reflections of our vices and virtues but simply as other creatures you can interract with as long as you’re careful. It really gave more depth to the Thedas universe in my eyes. (and she’s right)4) she’s curious. She wants to learn. She wants to know. And you can never answer her « that’s just how it is » because she will either retort « why ? » or « well I don’t think it should be like that… I’m going to look for a way to change it ».

5) that she can come to you after having known you for seven years, even if you are her best friend or her lover, and ask you to kill her if her experimentations go wrong. That cold appraisal of the risks, that unwavering determination, that absolute faith that you will do the right thing… she really is something else.

3 bad qualities :1) that she can come to you after having known you for seven years, even if you are her best friend or her lover, and ask you to kill her if her experimentations go wrong. The level of selfishness here is also something else. It’s the same selfishness that lets her abandon the people she had a duty to, and the same selfishness that makes her blind to Marethari’s plans. To me it’s her greatest flaw, something truly revolting, and it’s directly linked to :2) her self esteem issues. Of course she can leave her clan despite being their First ! It’s not like they really need her. Of course she can risk her life in the pursuit of knowledge ! Who will miss her ? Of course she can ask you to kill her ! She doesn’t expect you will enjoy it but you’ll get over it. You have other, better friends. You’re so much more than she is. And I find it heartbreaking but again, self-centered ina really messed up way. Fuck you Merrill ! You don’t get to decide how much people care about you. You don’t get to throw your life away and decide it will not impact others. NO MAN IS AN ISLAND MERRILL, I yell at my computer screen. But only silence answers me.

3) her one track mind. I cannot fault her for wanting to learn about her own history but she practically never stops to think that rebuilding the mirror may not be the only way to do so. And I’m all for her rebuilding that mirror, but she’s ready to sacrifice evrything to that goal when again, there might be other ways. Look for other ways !

favourite episode/etc : When you refuse to give her the Arulin'Holm and she chews you out for taking a priceless artifact that belongs to another culture while you lose the entirety of the friendhip points you had managed to gain with her and enter +15 rivalry. Up until that moment, you could see Merrill as only an adorably unassuming girl. Now you know better.otp : Isabella/Merrill. Izzy is one of the characters who’s the least patronizing toward Merrill (no character in this game manages to never condescend to her it’s incredible), they clearly are deeply fond of each other, Merrill thinks Isabella is amazing and Isabella thinks Merrill deserves the world, they are never less than supportive of each other and they both think the other is very, very pretty. To me it’s the kind of otp where they don’t live together but every time they see each other (and they make a point of seeing each other very often) they fall back into deep love and easy companionship. And they always part ways satiated, happy and serene, knowing next time will be better than the last. (I have feelings okay)

brotp : Merrill/Varick. Sure, Merrill think Varrick is a bit of a busybody, and Varrick probably see her as more childish than she is, but it’s all with so much tenderness and genuine esteem. And they both understand the importance of stories albeit in a very different way. (When you visits the Emerald Graves with Varrick in Inquisition he can sometimes say « So this is the Dales… Well, Daisy, wish you were here. » and every time it rips my heart out of my ribcage and stomps on it.)

Ot3 : Merrill/Isabella/Hawke. They could all be so good to each other. Once, when I was still playing on the Xbox and arrived at the end, instead of just saying « eventually we all had to leave the champion’s side. Well… except Merrill » (the one I had romanced) the game glitched and said « … except Merrill… except Isabella… except Fenris. » (aka the characters I had flirted with) and I just imagined them all boarding Isabella’s ship, with Merrill, Izzy and Hawke as that embarassing trouple that is constantly talking about sex and Fenris as their long suffering friend. Best. Ending. Ever.

Notp : Merrill/male Hawke. I have my issues with the way the f!Hawke romance infantilizes Merrill, but they ruin my fun when it’s a m!Hawke. I don’t think the lines are different (unlike with the Anders romance) but it just feel more aggravating when a male character is doing the patronizing.

best quote: (when you romance her:) Aveline: I didn’t expect you to stick around for this mess Merrill. This has nothing to do with your elves.Merrill: I love Hawke, I wouldn’t go anywhere.Aveline: But it’s not your fight.Merrill: I love Hawke.Aveline: You said that.Merrill: I say it a lot. It makes things clearer, takes away the doubt when everything is crazy and people are dying.Aveline: I understand.Merrill: Oh, good. Someone should.

(when you don’t) « Anders… There’s no such things as agood spirit, there never was. All spirits are dangerous. I understood it.I’m sorry that you didn’t. »

head canon: she is constantly snacking on something. It’s more of a nervous habbit than anything else but it also helps her stay sharp if she’s forgotten to eat a real meal. She particularly loves sour things.

#long post #yeah so i love merrill a totally normal amount #dragon age #blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked

5 notes · View notes