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bakugoushotwife · 7 months

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kinktober day ten: breeding kink

>>> so i actually think he would be able to get his partner preggers but that's because i say so xoxo but also bc maybe ce doesn't affect the reproductive system?? idc if it does he deserves a family!

>>> starring: choso kamo x curvy!fem!reader >>> cw: breeding kink thank you, pregnancy kink, choso is obsessed w his wife hours, oral (fem), creampie, >>> wc: 2.2k >>> event masterlist:

he’ll never forget the day you told him you were pregnant. it was something he had considered impossible, to the point he never bothered wearing a condom or cumming anywhere but inside you. seeing you pregnant only made sure those things wouldn’t change. you were already so perfect to him that it was almost unnerving, even all these years of marriage in. he fell in love with you the moment he met you back in shibuya, but somehow you had become even more beautiful to him.

he was obsessed, almost to the point of embarrassment, if choso understood the concept in regards to his love for his wife. but he wasn’t shy about being yours. it was all so new to him, the idea of fatherhood, viewing you as a mother, watching you change before his very eyes and all the long doctors appointments. he loves it though, oddly enough. especially the notion of being a dad and watching your body and mindset shift and grow.

choso can tend to be clueless due to his rather unconventional navigation of life, but ever since he learned how to work a cell phone, the internet has been his very best friend. unfortunately, yuji can give some very…troublesome advice. choso thinks it’s a miracle he’s still alive at times. so google can help in ways his earnest younger brother cannot, giving him multiple opinions and sources on what to do and how to do it. he spends hours of his time researching how to care for you; wanting to know if it was normal to be this attracted to you while you were all moody and pouty with just the start of roundness at the bottom of your belly—the jury was still out on that one, by the way.

one thing that was normal was your increased need for him, not like he was complaining. he loved this side effect the most, able to satiate his perverse desire to keep stuffing his already pregnant wife full, relishing in how eager and frankly nasty you had gotten. you were damn near insatiable, and choso thought he was in heaven for it. all through your first and second trimesters, you couldn’t get enough of him—and the feeling was mutual. as you grew larger and the house became cluttered with baby shower gifts and preparations for baby kamo, he continued to clock hours towards his family. he read article after article on parenting, actively assembling the nursery and searching up names with you. he was beyond joyful, still unable to believe that you were growing his son or daughter within that gorgeous body of yours, your breasts had started to swell and your hips had begun to spread. he loved every second of this: your neediness, everything about how you look while making him a father, and the way his friends circled around him and became such a supportive family.

his thoughts bordered on crazy, a haunting desire to keep you like this all the time, lounging around the house in your pretty maternity dresses doing nothing but being waited on hand and foot; relaxing while stroking your swelling stomach. it’s what suited you best, he thinks—stretched out along the couch basking in the rays of the sun beating in through the living room window, snacking on a fruit board he made you and baby. he’s nearly foaming at the mouth, your long robe-style dress clinging to all the delicious curves of your body; the light cotton seemed to outline your heavy boobs, tight around your semi-hardened nipples. it hugged your six-and-a-half-month sized bump, your other hand resting there protectively. choso was stuck in the moment, trying to commit every detail of you to memory. he almost didn’t hear your chortle of disbelief.

“you said what, now, babe?” you whip your head towards him, heart fluttering violently at what he uttered— you needed him to say it again. it was easy to grow addicted to your husband, building his spawn had you needier than ever. even the smell of him had you going absolutely feral level insane even though this pregnancy had been the highlight of your life so far. you thought your clinginess and desire was driving him to his own insanity, figuring he must hate tending to you and your attitude as of late. you must have just heard him incorrectly.

“huh?” he blinked, violet eyes refocusing on your plush lips speaking to him. “what did i say?” he asks, just as confused as you are. his cheeks darken anyways, as if you caught him doing something naughty, which only makes you believe your ears were in fact not deceiving you.

“you said you should keep me like this all time.” you chuckle, full on tilting your head towards him from your spot on the sofa. he averts his gaze as soon as you meet him, and you let out a teasing fake gasp. “my husband wants to keep me barefoot and pregnant, huh? you know that’s pretty outdated…”

he shakes his head, embarrassed immediately. great, now you thought he was some sick perv, which isn’t completely off base, he guessed, but still! it wasn’t like that, he didn’t view you like some machine built only to churn out his kids and cook him dinner!

“n-no! i mean—you look great like this, b—”

“i’m just fucking around, love. i thought it was sexy.” you grin, throwing a wink his way. he clicks his tongue at you and huffs at the teasing, even though he’s definitely intrigued by the latter half of your sentence. you arch your brow, waiting for him to ask for clarification. you could see him fighting it in his head before your very eyes. the scrunch of his nose tells you that you’ve won.

“yeah? what’s that supposed to mean?” he says from his spot in the recliner nearby, always opting to be close to you. you smile knowingly at him, humming in thought mostly for the dramatics.

“mayhaps i enjoy the idea of you keeping me pregnant…especially if i get spoiled like this every time.” you giggle, shrugging a little bit. “maybe i’ll feel differently after i actually have this one.” you pat your tummy affectionately, and he thinks he may be drooling. you always play so coy, but he can see the way you rub your thighs together and the clouds that darken in your sunshiney eyes. he may be regularly clueless, but the one thing he knows all too well is your body.

“hm, i think it’s because you’re a sex-crazed maniac now and know pregnancy gets you off the hook.” he deadpans, though his heart is beating rapidly in his chest and in his cock. you call his bluff, rolling your eyes viciously.

“isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.” you huff, spreading your legs out on the couch in a silent command. he smirks, not at all caring that you caught him. he nods a bit, holding his hands up.

“got me. i just didn’t know how much i would love this.” he says, the husk in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. your thighs press together when he obeys your body language, rising from his seat and making his way to the couch. he sits at your feet of course, smiling so sweetly. his warm hands gently pry your knees apart, and you wonder if he knows just how seductive the look he gives you is. his chin is angled down, hooded purple eyes singing a siren song that makes your legs fall apart again and your fingers pull at the tie keeping your dress together. he growls at the sight of your exposed body, his hands rubbing trails from your knees to your hips and down your thighs again. “you’re so perfect…can you blame me?”

you roll your eyes but wear a stupid grin at his praise, shaking your head to his question. you knew better than to be insecure over your changing body, especially with all the extra attention it’s garnered you. truth be told, you had never felt more beautiful, the life growing inside you breathing new life into your own appearance, and your husband never missed an opportunity to make you feel like a goddess amongst mortals. he would never dream of making you uncomfortable or asking you to accommodate him, so he folds himself into the space he has so that his face hovers above your shiny middle. his breath alone makes you moan, a hand flying up to cover your embarrassment. you always react like you’ve never been touched before and choso loves it almost as much as the sight of your round stomach and even rounder mounds above. he brings his thumb over you, wanting to watch you as he draws slow circles over your hardened clit. he hums, a little smile on his face as you jerk and squirm. your hips buck into his mouth instantly with cute whines slipping past your lips as your hands struggle to reach for his collarbone length black hair. he leans up a bit to help you, just the feeling of his rough thumb pad against your need turned you into a mess within seconds.

“nngh–oh choso, feels so–mmph good already.” you gasp, hands dropping to fondle your aching breasts. he nods and sits up to spit a warm and fat glob on your cunt, his thick thumb dragging it all over your spasming need. the lewdness of his action coupled with the nonchalant way he watches, tongue poking around your hole like nothing ever happened, has your brain spinning without much effort. your hips drive into the relief he offers, chasing your orgasm like you’d never before experienced one—despite the clear proof otherwise. he allows it, never in his life would he keep you from feeling good. he’s honored to be the one who causes those pretty sounds to fill the room, to be the father of the child making your beauty so ethereal, to be the man tongue deep in your perfect pussy. “gonna–ohhhh–”

your sweet release coats his tongue, his thumb still working you down slowly so he could relish in the face you make from sheer pleasure. he sits back up, a little more comfortable on his knees as he leans over you to give you a sloppy kiss filled with your own essence. he’s had to be much more careful since you’re getting bigger, but he doesn’t mind making sweet love to his beautiful baby mama. you wrap your arms around his neck, keeping his mouth against you while his hands are busy freeing himself from his sweatpants. you gasp into his mouth when you feel his length parting your folds and prodding at your hole. he only nibbles at your lip to tell you that he’ll be gentle, sheathing himself within your wet warmth slowly. you tense around him and relax, sighing happily at the feeling of him rocking into you at a tender pace. he moves his kisses to the sides of your cheeks, your jaw, picking up his speed until he has to sit back up properly to angle himself right.

“more, you’re not gonna break me daddy.” you pant, hand braced on the ridges of his defined abs. he sighs begrudgingly, only because he’d been repressing the same urge ever since you welcomed him inside. he relents, lifting one of your legs to rest against his hip before driving into you a bit harder. you moan wildly and nod, nearly screaming. “god—just like that.”

“anything for you mama, s’cute you need it hard, such a good girl letting me get a little rough.” he grunts, squeezing the hold he has on your thigh. you feel so different, still so tight and warm but with a different kind of wetness. he’s a mess too, championing himself with that nickname you bestowed upon him. his strokes are so well-timed, letting you feel every drag of his cock against you, the tip of him nailing the spot you need him most. “so perfect. you gonna let me keep this pretty hole bred?”

you nod, the words sending you close to your tipping point. you shake your head, too gone to speak to let him know that you were going to cum. you don’t have to tell him though, he can tell from the intense fluttering of your sloppy cunt, and he’s happy to have lasted this long trapped in your clutches. you’re slapping at his stomach, legs shaking around him as you scream again, the sound so primal it sends goosebumps prickling along his skin right before he’s stuffing you full as if you weren’t already carrying his seed. you squeeze down on him, making sure he empties his balls in you. he stays there until he goes soft, and then he slumps against the side of the couch. your giggles make him perk up, his violet eyes cutting over to see you crawling towards him with a mischievous glint to your eyes. he knows he’s right when you swing your leg over his lap, angling him back inside you.

“don’t worry—just wanna sit on it.” you titter, wrapping your arms around his neck again, pressing your body as close as you could for a hug. he twitches from sensitivity as you lower yourself back over him, but a smile spreads across his face all the same.

“how many kids can i give you, mama?” he groans in your ear as his arms tighten around your waist securely.

#jjk x reader #kyleewritesjjk #kylee's kinktober event #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #jjk smut #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo #choso x reader #choso smut #choso jjk #kamo choso

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redjadethewriter · 5 days

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Age Superiority and Toxic Views on Age Differences in Blank The Series

Yes, I'm back to ranting about this series. You would think I had enough by now, but there's so much to talk about that my mind goes rampant, thinking about it. Okay... Let's get into it.

First, age superiority is a silly thing. I'm not gonna lie; it erks me.

Storytime to start this off.

Once, I shared with someone the secret to my youthful appearance, saying, “I hang around a lot of young people.” This statement made him laugh uncontrollably, likely because of the sly grin on my face as I said it. However, my words were both a joke and a reflection of my true beliefs. I hold a great deal of respect for the younger generations and have cultivated a mindset that values respect for all individuals, regardless of their age, gender, culture, or ethnic background.

My guiding motto is simple: “I respect those who respect me.” If someone shows disrespect towards me, it matters little what their status, wealth, or accomplishments may be—I will not tolerate it. In such situations, I prefer to turn my back and walk away, as no one is deserving of my time and energy, not even in pointless arguments. Overcoming highly emotional states and the passage of time have taught me this lesson.

As time goes on, some things can be learned, while others require dedicated effort and experience to truly grasp. My effort has always been about becoming aware, and the only way to gain awareness is through knowledge and experience. However, some go through life not learning from their mistakes or grow from certain experiences. Some choose to ignore the surrounding people, not listen to them, or have a superiority complex, especially around younger folk or someone who’s less fortunate. This triggered me in Blank the Series. Look, I understand certain cultures its ingrained in us to respect our elders. I come from a background as such. It may not be an Eastern Asian background, but it parallels on a similar level.

Okay, let me share my opinion on something that bothered me in the series, even though I know the story intentionally crafted it that way. In the novel, I can understand why everyone would treat Anueng like a child. After all, she was written as only 18 years old, and in my country, we still consider that too young. However, in the series, she was 20, almost 21. At that age, I had a lot more freedom compared to her. I had a job; I was going to university; I was going out, drinking, and even hooking up with older women facing no judgment from my parents or society. Although the standards in my country may be more relaxed, it’s not something that would shock anyone, I know.

So, when I watched Anueng, an adult woman, being treated as less than an adult, it really bothered me. Yes, she acted annoying most of the time, but I understood she used it as a way to get a reaction from Khun Knueng and to hide her true feelings. It was her way of wearing a mask, just like we all do. I mean, who really acts like themselves in public?

Throughout the show, I witnessed a scared Anueng who simply wanted others to see her as an adult and not subject her to abuse, control, or assumptions about her best interests. She wanted to be able to decide for herself and express her true feelings. And let me tell you, I’ve worked in retail and have interacted with people of all ages, from 18 to senior years. I’ve talked to them, listened to them, and got to know them. And using age as a measure of superiority is just plain dumb. I’ve met older people who make unwise choices and never learn from them, while I’ve also met young people who are wise beyond their years. So, I never judge a book by its cover.

Some young people I’ve had the privilege of getting to know have had experiences just as crazy as mine, if not crazier than someone twice their age. And then there are those who still have a lot to learn. That’s why I never assume their level of experience. And that’s also why older women who dated me were okay with pursuing a relationship with me. They saw my book was thick, filled with experiences and wisdom or… I was just a good…cough… LOL!

So, in the series, when Khun Knueng invited Folk to the amusement park, I couldn’t help but interject. Assuming Anueng would be bored with the adults infuriated me. I coughed and said, “Excuse me, but she’s an adult, too.” It’s unfair to assume that a 20-year-old wouldn’t enjoy the company of 36-year-olds. “What the fuck are you talking about,” I thought. That girl would have a blast with me. I’m sure she would have had an awesome time with Khun Nueng if she wasn’t falling for the Fah’s cruel antics to gain the love of her daughter after abandoning her most of her life.

Rant moment about Fah:

“Excuse me, I don’t care if you gave birth to Anueng. You're a dang stranger to her and you have to earn her love. At this rate, you’re just a child yourself, pretending to be a mother.” I’m not sorry for saying it, but Anueng deserves so much better. If Fah truly wanted to be a part of her daughter’s life, she would have defied her own mother and been there from the beginning. But she didn’t. She only showed up when Anueng turned 20, after all the difficult times were over, and suddenly wanted to play the mother role. Hell no. Even if there wasn’t a romantic involvement between Anueng and Khun Nueng, Khun Nueng acted more like a mother figure than both the biological mother and grandmother did. Family doesn’t have to be defined by blood relations. I can easily envision a scenario where a lonely artist adopts a mistreated, abandoned girl, and they become a genuine family. Then, the royal grandmother would throw a fit over Khun Nueng adopting a daughter. Oh my, that would just cause a stir.

But back to age insecurities.

Even to this day, as a 38-year-old, I still ride rollercoasters and explore various interests. It’s why young people are drawn to me everywhere I work and go. I have a wide range of interests that appeal to people of all ages. I can spend hours talking and listening to 19-year-olds and those in their twenties without any of us getting bored. It’s all about having charisma that goes beyond the norm.

Moreover, it was clear to anyone that Anueng truly desired to spend her birthday with Khun Nueng. However, following Fah’s orders, Khun Nueng attempted to distance herself from Anueng. This action deeply hurt Anueng, especially because she expected someone she loved to offer support and not to push her away. I couldn’t help but exclaim, “Oh, my gosh! It’s her birthday! Can you please respect that she’s an adult? It’s her special day, and she wants you to acknowledge that!”

In romantic relationships, simply being in the same space as the person you are interested in, even with no activities, is not boring at all. However, it is important to note that Khun Nueng has never experienced being in love or loving someone before, which justifies her ignorance in this matter. Nevertheless, I cannot stress enough that Anueng is not naïve. She can sense that Khun Nueng’s feelings for her run deeper than she lets on. This is why it was incredibly frustrating for her to get Khun Nueng to be open and honest about her emotions.

Eventually, in the end of episode 4, Khun Nueng reached a breaking point. She grabbed Anueng by the arm, preventing her from walking away, and expressed her desire for her to stay. Furthermore, in episode 5, she attempted to convince the family that Anueng wanted to remain in Thailand and even volunteered to help her study and prepare for the university entrance exam. Ultimately, her efforts succeeded.

Spoiler alert: Since I read the novel, I’m going to reveal the chaotic age insecurities Khun Nueng has. I don’t think they will use the scene in the series, but Anueng and Khun Nueng go on a run together. Khun Nueng basically can’t keep up with her and automatically goes into doom and gloom about getting older and not being able to physically keep up with Anueng’s stamina. I laughed so hard at that passage in the book that I cried because I couldn’t breathe from laughing so dang hard. I’m like, “Woman, how long has it been since you’ve done legit exercise such as running?” Because I know that being an artist, you are not active in heavier impact exercises. “Girl, please. At 36, I was running circles around ladies younger than me. I could sprint 3 miles and lift 50 to 75 pounds daily, like the bitch of steel.” I’ve met 40- and 50-year-old women that could break me in half. So, please… don’t feed me that bullshit. Age is not a factor in performance; it’s keeping up with activities and pushing your body to work that keeps you mobile and strong as fuck to take on a lady in her 20s with no issues. I’ve known 70-year-olds that can out-bench ladies younger than them. No one can use the excuse of age with me.

Now, I can see certain challenges that come with being in a romantic relationship with someone younger. One major factor is the ability to connect with them, considering the generational gap. Different time periods bring different mindsets. Khun Nueng, 36, probably grew up in a time when same-sex relationships were deemed unacceptable. I can relate to that. Being 38, I witnessed the tail end of a time when it was dangerous to be a lesbian. Nevertheless, I understand her concerns about being forgotten. In episode 6, she expressed her fear that Anueng will eventually make new friends, flirt with other people, and move on. But honestly, I can’t help but think and laugh. “Yeah, right! No one’s ever gonna leave you, let alone forget about you.” A woman like Khun Nueng leaves an indelible mark on your soul. Her eyes pierce through you like daggers, leaving you exposed. She’s fierce and full of spice. No one will forget Khun Nueng for generations to come. She’s absolutely crazy, in the best way possible.

Khun Nueng…Just openly love that girl already, and stop torturing yourself like a masochistic princess. We all know you’re head over heels for her. She’s an adult, so let go of your worries. Thank you.

#lgbt author #lgbtq community #blank the series #gl drama #thai gl #gl series #wlw age gap stories #writers on tumblr

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icharchivist · 3 months

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It's also pretty much the thesis of Granblue that through friendship, all things are possible. We're powerful because we have friends and have created genuine bonds and love

That's also how the Skydwellers managed to win the war against the Astrals and drive them out

That's how primals, who shouldn't be able to change adapt and grow beyond their purpose and make friends

It's this quintessential thing, Skydwellers are strong together and they're determined, especially when fighting for their friends

And as such it makes sense that Astrals can't do that. Like you said, they're very individualistic and don't care about other people

Lucilius doesn't have a genuine bond with Belial, Lucilius and Beelzebub are a hot backstabbing mess, Lilith has people worship her while not actually giving a fuck

As good villains they show basically why friendship is because they don't have it. It's classic writing, but it just works

right!!

like yeah it's kind of the basis of the genre but i do think they worked it so deeply into the lore that it ends up working out well.

the whole battle with Lucio in wmtsb pt3 is all about Lucio putting it into words, that while Skydwellers are weaker, this weakness drive them to work together, and as such, they come out as stronger.

the idea, imo, is that Astrals don't face challenge as regularly as Skydwellers do, so as such they don't readily ask for help around them, and as such they don't create bonds that mean anything.

I think Lucilius is even greater of an example there due to the fact that he still was plagued with Lucio's dreams and it gave him an actual challenge, in a society where people don't rely on one another.

So it explains how Lucilius tried to cope with it by creating the first primals, because since he couldn't rely on anyone, he could rely on his own creations.

(and the Astrals who took his researches to invade the Skyrealm laters developped the primals as a self reliance tool because they couldn't rely on one another)

but in the end Lucilius is still an Astral through and through, and since the primals were not exposed to the skyrealms yet, they couldn't either influence Lucilius into changing. They weren't meant to rely on one another. except Lucifer, who was supervising the evolution of the skyrealms, and as such, was influenced by the skydwellers even before Lucilius' death, and eventually why he was the only one changing, and relying on others, like he used to rely on Belial or see Sandalphon as more than his (lack of) purpose. And probably why Belial has such a hard time getting out of this mindset, or how Sandalphon's lack of purpose made him work outside of Lucilius' influence to start with.

Like, ultimately the worldbuilding of Granblue is trying to replicate things of the Shounen genre, yes: there's power in friendship and love, the big enemies don't know what it is, there's big bads to take down ect...

but Granblue put a lot of thoughts into explaining why it was this important to their universe.

like i think it's doing a disservice to the primals for instance if we don't take into account the impulse of their purpose if we discuss them. Like "why would this primal be this stubborn into doing something this stupid" because they don't have a choice and don't have the ability to change.

and so, the same thing extends to the Astrals to a point. It's easy to just think of them as another type of people in the skyrealm, like if they're just Erune or Primals or something. But I think Granblue is trying to show how this lack of reliance on one another can turn people super apathetic, by showing us a civilization who only can do this type of things.

The whole idea of Granblue being a post-apocalyptic world where the split of the Omnipotent had an impact on its two group of people is especially shown in how disfunctional the Astrals are, and as such it's important imo to judge an Astral by taking into account the society they grew up in.

and yeah at the end of the day the theme is simple, friendship wins it all, but it's fascinating to see just how deeply they worked on it on a worldbuilding perspective, right?

#like we discuss the Skydwellers' strength in friendship bc the game does it a lot #but we don't discuss as often how therefore it means the Astrals Don't Have That yaknow?#ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #anonymous #relink spoilers #ish #ichablogging gbfr

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fandomkid101 · 1 year

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Riley always considered herself loyal to Mortimer; considering him as her true father. But the scientist could take so much before reaching her breaking point. When she found out about the plan Nick and the human loose in the studio had, she was against it. The very idea of a puppet becoming the very thing that sustains them sounded like complete and utter lunacy; absolute taboo.

Louise: Do we really have to convince her to do this? She made it very clear that she wants to use me for a goddamn lab rat, and she hates your fucking guts!*

Nick: Riley may be a stuck-up psycho. But if you make your argument seem logical, she’ll listen to what you have to say... For a few seconds at best if you don’t delay. *

Riley did not want to become a human at first for a few reasons.

One. Humans were considered as nothing but a resource to be used up. To her, it was like a lion wanting to become an antelope.

Two. If Mortimer found out, he would kill them all for even considering something so outrageous.

Three. Humans die from old age. Eventually, they will die of old age if they go through with this.

But one reason made he consider above all else. Maybe if she went through with it. She would finally be able to learn. To grow beyond want she was. To finally be able to use a microscope; gather more data.

After a long and partly tearful(Mostly on her side) debate with Nick about the pros and cons of transferring their conscious into human hosts, Riley said that she would do it. But only if a vessel would be provided for Rosco. Nick agreed to her terms and put it upon himself to get it while her, Louise and Daisy get the spell/ritual ready with the vessels picked out. I honestly could not let Riley be without her support animal; they’re inseparable(physically and spiritually).

Riley’s vessel was a homeless woman who was unlucky enough to be wondering the street at night during one of the puppets recent host hunts; while Rocso was placed in the body of a stray golden retriever that Nick found wondering outside the studio and knocked out(I can’t draw dogs right in case you tell). For reasons unknown, the ritual gave him the mindset of a normal dog that doesn’t want to kill everything it comes across and imprints on Riley the moment he sees her for the first time again.

After leaving the studio for good and sometime adjusting to their new bodies, the gang now live with Louise and her mother(who was not happy about the idea at all until her daughter and someone will be revealed soon convinced her that they would not try to kill anyone); now learning what it means to be human and experiencing new issues and thoughts they never thought before.

No longer bound by the mental and intellectual limitation she had as a puppet, Riley is now capable of learning and maintaining knowledge; finally becoming more then what she was originally made to be and realising that she can find a new purpose for herself outside of just being Riley Ruckus.

I like the idea that Riley becomes obsessed with learning new things. No matter the subject, she wants

to learn everything about it. Eventually she rediscovers LOTR and even becomes a die-hard fan(She didn’t like rings of power though) to the point where Daisy becomes deeply concerned and Nick thinks it’s too early in the day to put up with her rants and BS.

And of course, Rosco is the goodest boi and is Rileys pride and joy; just happy to be there.

#hello puppets #hello puppets midnightshow #riley ruckus #riley ruckus hello puppets #hello puppets rosco #hello puppets au #Hello humanity au #my art

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calloftheuniverse · 6 months

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One of the WORST things to come out of a patriarchal, christian, capitalistic society is the way it has damaged nearly every member to their core...

By making them feel not good enough.

By reducing their value to money and appearance...

And making sure nobody ever feels quite good enough or worthy.

Not enough money, not handsome/pretty enough...

Too different,

Too weird,

Flawed,

Faulty,

Sinful,

Shameful,

..... Worthless.

The truth is... The energy of Divine IS love.

There is no space for judgment or condemnation.

And Divine mourns, grieves for those who have sunk beyond the reach Divine love...

Those who live in shame and self loathing and self-disgust.

And..honestly, I feel that too. More so than I would usually admit to, as people already don't know how to take me or perceive me most of the time.

Because the reality is the religion they sell you (Yes. I said SELL, look at the profits last year and tell me it isnt a business, and a hugely wealthy one?) is nothing more than to control your mind, keep you stuck in shame and judging yourself and others.

And it is set up by design to target and devalue women, who over time may grow into something shamanic, or sagely ....

Because the feminine aspect is the aspect that is by default wired for spirituality, and a true connection to Divine.

Christianity, and patriarchy both specialize in devaluing feminine qualities in both genders, labeling women as seductive, sinful, labeling men who display fem qualities as less masculine, weak.. "Pussy" "Bitch" "Simp".

And we are also going to graze the subject of how every woman who ascends, evolves, and finds enlightenment as anything OTHER than Christian is labeled as a witch.

Lucky the Bible already has a way to deal with anyone who threatens their mind control, eh?

"Shall not suffer a witch to live."

And that pretty much takes care of the competition, doesn't it?

After all, they killed a whole lot of people in the name of that control, and forced conversion at sword point and under threat of crucifixion and being burned alive....

Google says anywhere from 2-6 million.

Wouldn't be able to KEEP the control they killed to get without a way to silence and intimidate opposing perspectives...

And what better way to silence a whole group then by calling them evil, and essentially justifying murder.

But the truth is this... God is within you. As is the devil. Heaven and hell are mindset...frequencies of thoughts. You can think of them as "love mindset" and "fear mindset" if its easier to see it that way.

If you lie and manipulate others, you will live in fear and anxiety of being caught and held accountable. Same if you steal. Choices will literally leave you in a living hell if you choose selfishness, greed, and lust. Because hell is a mindset. And no amount of scapegoating a great teacher who tried to teach everyone this will free you from that hell.

Spoiler...the same bunk religion Jesus spoke against and flipped tables about is the same religion, reskinned that told you that he died for our sins... truth was they killed him for threatening their system of control. Then stole his words, his name, and rebranded their oppression, destroying whole cultures by forcing them to convert.

And no amount of following their false promises and destructive methods will get you to heaven.

That only comes when you silence your fear, realize that all is provided in Divine grace and timing, and quit idolizing a great teacher and an ascended master as your Creator.

Because I have great faith...Jesus himself would be horrified at how he has been scapegoated for an entire planet for the last 2 millenia. Especially when that let's them fully off the hook to continue hurting themselves and others, unrepentant. It allows them to focus on him, and never look within, effectively blocking them from the ascended mindset he was trying to teach, that would allow them a personal and close relationship with ACTUAL God, rather than the vengeance driven, blood-sacrifice demanding, dark deity of the Bible.

I know what I believe. I know what he believed. I know why he was actually killed, and I also know if he came again today, he would likely be crucified all over again, or mown down as a cult leader.

And I think it would be a good time for people to examine what they thing is right, and why.and ask themselves which team they really serve.

Do you serve love, peace, growth, creation, and abundance?

Or do you serve fear, hatred, oppression, judgment, blood sacrifice, systematic murder, and intimidation tactics?

And are you listening to the pull of Divine and doing what you know and FEEL is right?

Or are you just going with the crowd, because they told you what to think, never taught you how to think for yourself, and shamed you for asking questions or deviating..

#deconstruction #christianity #spirituality

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blues-valentine · 2 years

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your little women post is gold! I agree with everything you said about amy because all she ever wanted was to just do what she was supposed to do as a women in that time period, both amy and jo did bad things as sisters often do growing up. People resentment towards amy comes with people that don’t understand jo as a character and think she somehow stole jo’s opportunities or laurie when that never was the case. jo never had romantic feelings for laurie. laurie loved amy. amy deserved the trip.

Thank you anon!

One of the things I’ve always loved about Amy is her practical nature. She knew what was expected of her – marry a rich man, fit into society. And it became specially necessary for her to marry into wealth after all her sisters failed to marry rich or couldn’t marry. I also always admired Jo's willingness to be independent and to not comfort to society's expectations of women and people acting like Amy is somehow lesser for trying to be practical and strategic with her position in society is beyond crazy. Amy has always been passionate and ambitious (a trait that is often deemed as negative on women). She was willing to marry any man that would provide for her and her family even if she wasn’t in love – and people forget, Amy was a romantic and did wanted to marry for love. [more under the cut].

I have a younger sister, the amount of times we fought for things growing up are endless, sister rivalry is very common specially when you see how Jo and Amy are polar opposites. Amy was a bossy opinionated 12 years old that knew how to take the opportunities that landed on her, because let’s be real – Aunt March didn’t owe Jo a trip to Paris, specially after she was being rude to her for trying to help her. Amy knew what she needed to do, acted the way it was expected of her and she wanted to improve on her art so she was the perfect candidate for society and marriage. Jo would’ve never fit into Paris and the plans Aunt Match had for her.

Amy didn’t stole anything for Jo, she earned it.

Personally, everyone that has read the books must know Jo never had romantic feelings for Laurie. She considered marrying Laurie as the last resort because she didn’t want to be alone. Book!Jo spends a big part of the books actually trying to set up Laurie with any of her sisters. As for Laurie, I always thought that his attachment to Jo is more connected to the lack of female figures in his life growing up rather than genuine romantic feelings. It was Amy that made him realize the difference between platonic love and romantic love. He used to see Amy as "Jo's little sister", it was when he learns who Amy is separated from Jo that he falls in love with her. Adult Amy (both books and movies) is extremely mature, smart, sophisticated and challenged Laurie for the better – is interesting how Laurie was willing to drop everything in his life to appease Jo while Amy wanted him to embrace it but be responsible. Amy made Laurie become the man he wasn’t ready to be. She made him stop the bachelorette lifestyle he was adopting and made him pursue work seriously. In my opinion, I think Jo and Laurie would’ve never challenged each other in any particular area because a lot of their relationship is founded in childhood, which is why Greta making distinctions between childhood and adulthood throughout the movie is so important to their mindset.

Laurie loved Amy, he respected her, worshipped her almost. Throughout his whole stay in Europe, he was unknowingly writing a play about Amy and Jo didn’t even crossed his mind (his literal words in the book). Amy was the perfect person for him – she returned his love, was always in his toes (which he needed), grounded him and had the perfect society skills to run the Lawrence household and overall deal with Laurie's status. Amy was able to marry someone that would provide for her and her family, but most important someone she loved and loved her back. To this day, I don’t understand people that continues to ignore the fact that Jo didn't have romantic feelings for him. Jo and Laurie just don’t work as a romantic couple, and them ending up together would’ve gone against who they are as people, it would’ve regressed any character development for both. And it’s extremely weird when people make essays about Laurie having feelings for Jo while married to Amy or even thinking he would cheat on her when he would never do that, he legitimately worships Amy.

#little women #amy march #laurie laurence #theodore laurence #amy x laurie #laurie x amy #asks #jo march

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harrywritingsbyme · 3 years

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The one about Harry's leather suit

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

A/N: So I know it’s like a week late, but Harry won a Grammy...and I’m so proud of him. I wish I could’ve written this sooner, but I’m not as talented and as quick to come up with fic ideas like so many other writers on here. So I decided to just write a smutty and little blurb for y’all. This one was rlly hard to write, not bc I was writers block or anything; simply bc there were just too many good concepts to choose from. Plus the timeline of events of said concepts and the fic in general would be shitty and I didn’t want to jump from one time to a new one and not have a cohesive fic…that takes a lot of practice lmao. So I had to leave some stuff out even tho I rlly didn’t want to. But I hope what I was able to put together isn’t trash…the ending sucks but that’s okay I guess. enjoy🙃

3.7k wordsss

You were going absolutely insane right now. As you sat at the end of the bed and watched Harry get ready for his performance, you were finding it incredibly hard to maintain your composure and hold on to any shred of sanity you had left. Your eyes followed his every movement as he floated through the room, not once stopping to focus on something other than Harry. The only times you looked away were when he caught you redhanded staring at him. But even then, your eyes were trained right back on him once he wasn’t looking in your direction. As you sat there, you could feel your body becoming warmer and warmer, little beads of sweat forming along your forehead and the back of your neck as you watched him. You could also feel the area between your legs becoming stickier and stickier as the time went on. Now you always loved the clothes he wore on stage and how he made just about anything look great. You were also consistent with the mindset that Harry was the most gorgeous man to ever walk the earth.

But for some reason, in this moment he was even hotter than normal and you were completely obsessed with what he was wearing. His outfit managed to make him look even hotter than usual, his gorgeousness managed to make his outfit look even more stunning and hot, and the both of them together managed to push you to the brink of exploding into a billion tiny pieces. On top of all that, even though you knew his nerves were flowing regarding his first and opening performance at the Grammys where he was nominated an incredible three times, you could still feel his excitement and confidence radiating off of him. Which only contributed to you being pushed even closer to exploding into tiny pieces. The combination of feeling proud of Harry and his accomplishments, being very enamored for him, and being extremely hot and bothered over his mere existence was a whirlwind that only Harry could pull you out of.

“Okay, so how do I look babe?” Harry asks as he turns around to fully face you, his voice breaking you out of your riled up thoughts.

“You look great.” You quickly reply, trying to suppress the fiery need you had for him that was rumbling nearly uncontrollably inside of you.

“Are you alright Y/n? You seem a bit out of it.” He asks, his voice filled with concern. Well, pretend concern that is. He wasn’t going to just call you out on being so turned on right in front of his team; he wasn’t going to embarrass you like that. He was already doing it in very subtle ways. From keeping the bathroom door open a bit so that you could watch him change, to making sure to catch you staring at him, to even taking the time to shower you with love and attention. Harry knew exactly what he was doing to you and he got such a kick out of watching you crumble and become desperate for him. Maybe that was just his self proclaimed narcissism working in the form of a mild embarrassment kink. Either way though, Harry knew exactly what he was doing and he knew the effect all of the little things he did would have on you. He also knew that he’d have to take care of you before he was sucked into the madness of it all. No matter how much he loved driving you up the walls with his antics, whether it was turning you on beyond compare or annoying the hell out of you, Harry was always going to make sure you were alright. Plus it ended up working out in his favor since he could really use a pre-first time ever Grammy performance round to loosen him up and shake all the nerves that were running through his body. And you looked too cute just sitting there at the edge of the bed watching him.

“Hey Harry, how much time until we have to leave?” Harry asks his stylist, his attention still in your direction.

“A little over an hour.” His stylist promptly replies.

“Can I have 30 with Y/n please?” Harry asks, his attention still in your direction. He could see you beginning to squirm a bit under his gaze and he wasn’t going to let up until you two were all alone and he could dive into everything that was going on with you right in front of him.

“And not a second more Harry! And Y/n!” He replies, poking his head around the corner to point his response at you as well. “We have to get pictures and all before we leave.” He then proceeds to get the other two of his team members together and out of the the door. “And please don’t get anything on the clothes!” He shouts back, already having a pretty good idea as to what you two were about to get into before closing the door, leaving you and Harry all alone.

Without saying a single word to you, Harry steps closer to where you’re sitting on the bed and reaches out to grab your hands and pull you up from the bed. To which you immediately oblige and stand up in front of him at the end of the bed. And in what seemed like a blink of an eye, Harry switches positions with you, sitting at the end of the bed before pulling you right on top of him and into his lap.

“What are you-“

“Don’t act like you don’t want it.” Harry interjects, deciding that if he only had 30 minuets with you, he wasn’t going to be playing any games.

“But we only-“

“Do you want to stop throbbing down there or what?” He asks sternly, cutting you off again.

“M’throbbing so bad.” You sigh, completely giving into him and beginning to move yourself against him a bit.

“Why doll?” He asks, wrapping his hands around your thighs to pull you higher up into his lap before helping you move back and forth against him.

“You just look so good daddy.” You moan, letting out a little sigh at not only the image of him that was stuck in your head, but also at how good it felt to have some type of friction down there. You were craving any type of touch or attention from Harry and you were finally getting it.

“You like what daddy’s wearin’ for his performance?” He breathes out in response, beginning to get a bit more riled up himself. He was already quite turned on at how you were trying so hard to keep it together. But now you were on top of him, a little subby, and falling apart. He could feel his cock growing and growing in his pants beneath you. And the more you moved back and forth on him, the harder he got and the more desperate he became to have your walls around him.

“Mhm!” You whine, continuing to move back and forth against him. “Need you so bad!” You whimper, leaning into him a bit more so that you could dig your clit down into him. Which in turn causes your moans to become a tad higher.

“Is that little clit of yours tingling for daddy sweet girl?” He asks, bucking his hips up into you a couple times, picking up on the slight change in your movement. “Bet it’s nice and swollen f’me. Always so sensitive and ready to be played with.” He continues on, reminiscing on all the times where he made you squirt multiple times simply from toying with and sucking on your cute little bud.

To move things further along, Harry removes his hands from your thighs and he brings brings them up to your waist before lying back against the bed and pulling you higher up in his lap. You were so caught up in how good it felt to be relieving some of the pressure between your legs against the bump in Harry’s pants that you didn’t even notice Harry taking a peek underneath your dress.

“Well I see someone decided to wear panties today.” Harry chuckles as he pushes his index finger up between your folds a bit to pull the panties that your pussy had practically engulfed out, causing you to snap out of your pleasured trance.

“Figured it was appropriate for the occasion so I decided to just throw a pair on.” You explain through your soft pants, a cute little smile spreading across your face in the process.

“Cute. But if y’gonna wear panties sweets, make sure they can fit all of y’pussy.” He chuckles, admiring how the glistening and fleshy lips of your cunt practically swallowed up all of the material from your panties.

“But I thought you liked that daddy.” You whisper though a little pout, lifting your dress a little higher to take a peek down there yourself.

“I do sweet girl. It’s just that I prefer easy access y’know. Never know when I may wanna fuck you or eat your pretty little peach.” He explains. “Don’t want anything in the way.” He continues on, swiftly pulling your panties, which were pretty sticky by the way, to the side to expose your even stickier pussy to him. “Now that’s even cuter.” Harry huffs, his need to feel you growing by the second. You were so wet that all the curly little hairs around your pussy were completely matted from all of your sticky juices. He had to feel that around his cock.

“Thank you daddy.” You whisper back, feeling a warmth rising to your cheeks at his comment and the fact that he’s just ogling at your pussy. “Now it’s your turn.” You whisper excitedly, moving down off of his bulge some more and shifting your focus on undoing his pants. “I see someone didn’t have the same idea.” You note upon seeing that he was completely bare underneath his pants.

“Don’t like t’be confined baby, you know that.” He replies simply. “Again, easy access.”

“Just don’t get hard while you’re performing, you know how you get.” You warn. See, given the fact that Harry loved performing, on top of the fact that he was again, a self proclaimed narcissist, he tended to get a bit of a performance high so to speak. And as a result of that performance high, Harry would get excited. And since he is now a 3x Grammy nominee, and performing for that matter, that performance high was definitely going to be intensified.

Once you’ve completely undone his pants, you immediately push your hand down into them and you pull his cock out. At this point he was fully hard and throbbing, begging to be lodged in between your walls. You could see and feel all of the veins running up and down his shaft and his head was a reddish color with glistening precum beading at his slit. As you stare at his very sizable cock, you couldn’t help but be a little bit intimidated at his size. He was so big and even after the countless times he’s pushed into you, it was still incredibly hard to fathom all of him being able to fit inside. But that didn’t meant that you didn’t want him to be inside of you. So without wasting any more time, you lift yourself onto your knees and you move up to hover over Harry’s cock, keeping your hand wrapped around his hard yet soft shaft. When you do this, Harry uses his free hand to bunch your dress up at your hips so that he could watch you sink down onto him.

“Don’t be scared of it baby. Just take it inside like the good girl you are for daddy.” He encourages through his breaths, pulling your panties to the side a bit more. You then begin to lower yourself down onto him, stopping when you feel the thick crown of his cock nudging at you. Since you couldn’t really see, you feel your way around, pushing his cock around the warm and ready area between your legs. Once you have him positioned at your entrance, you begin to slowly sink down onto him.

“Oh my-fuck daddy!” You whimper, feeling the familiar sting that came along with taking Harry’s cock.

“Doin’ so good f’me baby!” Harry praises trough his grunts, becoming a bit overwhelmed at how good you feel around him. Your whines were like music to his ears as you filled yourself with him and your walls were like heaven.

By the time you make it a little over halfway down his cock, you’re all floaty and incredibly overwhelmed that you can’t even go any further without stopping. When you open your eyes to look down at Harry, you see him staring back at you with intense yet proud eyes and you couldn’t help but clench up around him a bit.

“Can I have more daddy?” You moan, moving mack and forth against the portion of his cock that was already inside of you. Instead of verbally replying to your question, Harry lets go of your panties and brings it up to your waist so that both hands were at your waist for him to guide you the rest of the way down. And as he does, the both of you let out the most frenzied moans, you and Harry feeling the deepest part of you becoming full with his cock. There were even little tears welling up in your eyes because it just felt so good. When you’re fully sitting in his lap again, you immediately begin moving against him. You have keep both hands planted on his bare chest as you grind and bounce yourself on his cock

“Fuck Y/n! Takin’ me so well doll.” Harry grunts, keeping his hands tightly wrapped around your hips as you move. Even though your movements were a bit sloppy, they were still nothing short of perfect. At some points you’d get a good bouncing rhythm going, lifting yourself and dropping back down onto him over and over again. And then you’d hit that spot inside of you, and you’d just keep yourself down and grind and circle your hips around to apply pressure and friction to that spot with his cock. Other times you’d be moving on his cock, but you’d be digging your clit into the slightly coarse hairs surrounding Harry’s cock, that being your biggest pleasure point. Harry was positive that your little button would be all swollen and even more sensitive than it already was once you were done but you could’ve cared less. All you were concerned about was feeling good. And so was Harry.

He loved and thought you looked absolutely cute being all selfish and trying your hardest to relieve yourself. While you were consumed with pleasuring yourself, you were in turn pleasuring Harry in ways that were beyond belief. On top of the obvious fact that your walls were the best and the only thing Harry ever wanted to be around his cock, your juices were also playing a part in his pleasure. Since you were practically gushing around him, your juices were constantly flowing out of you. They were dripping right out of you, down from his cock, and down to his balls and even further to his entrance. It felt so good to Harry, he wished he could have more. You were making him feel so good that his moans were just a song of your praises.

But even though you were making Harry feel absolutely amazing, you were becoming exhausted. At this point, it was too much and you could barely hold yourself up let alone keep moving back and forth against him. Upon seeing this, Harry takes control of it all and flips you two over so that he’s on top of you. When he does this, his cock slips out of you. But instead of immediately pushing back inside, Harry brings his hands to your thighs to push them apart before pulling your panties back over to the side and attaching him mouth to your oh so sensitive clit. When you feel Harry suckling on your clit, you lose it. You could feel him suckling and sucking on your button, quickly flicking his tongue back and forth against you, not once letting up. You could also feel him using his free hand to lightly scratch at the inside of your thigh which was also very sensitive. Harry then lets up from your clit to give you one wide lick from your entrance all the way up to your clit before going back to sucking at it. And at that moment, you realize that you wouldn’t be able to wait and cum with him. You just let go right then and there. To be more specific, you squirt all over the lower portion of Harry’s face and part of his chest. When he feels your warm juices splashing against his face, he begins to suck even harder; making your moans intensify and your hands tug even harder on his hair. Once you’ve stopped squirting, Harry detaches his mouth from your clit, and quickly licks and slobbers all over you before coming back up. Even though your juices were all warm, it was still a little refreshing considering the fact that he was quite literally burning up in the all leather look that you loved so much.

“Now what you have between your legs is a Grammy winning pussy sweetheart. And it deserves every other award there is to give.” He praises through a chuckle, causing you to let out a little, tired out laugh. Harry was completely in awe at how amazing your cunt was and what you just did. But he doesn’t spend too much time being in awe though because he can feel his release bubbling in his lower stomach and the time he has left with you was running low. So he taps his cock against your very pink and swollen clit before sinking back into you and going right into pistoning himself in and out of you over and over again. With every stroke, Harry could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge. He could also feel you tightening your walls up around him with every thrust. You were incredibly sensitive from your last release and you were on the brink of another. Whenever he slams back into you, he almost grinds up against you, aka your clit.

“Gonna cum again daddy!” You cry out to him, digging your heels into the bed and clawing at the sheets, feeling a second wave building up inside of you.

“Cum with me baby.” Harry growls, feeling himself approaching the edge of his release. And with two more swift thrusts, you and Harry are catapulted off of the edge. As you squirt for the second time (thank goodness he had them pushed down far enough so that they wouldn’t get all wet), Harry unloads all he has into you, dropping his head into your neck as he releases spurt after spurt of his cum into you.

After a minuet or two of catching his breath, Harry lifts his face from your neck and he slowly pulls himself from you, making sure to quickly pull your panties back over to keep his cum from spilling out and making an even bigger mess between your legs. And to really keep all of that cum secure inside of you, he pushes your panties back up between the lips of your pussy. They were going to end up in there anyways so why not.

“Thanks for the sugar high doll.” He hums as he hovers over your disheveled and adorably fucked out figure, his bended knee right between your limp and spread legs. “I love you” He softly sings with a dopey smile. Proceeding to bring his hand up to lightly choke you and cup your chin before connecting his lips with your slightly parted ones for a kiss. It was supposed to be And as he sponges his lips against yours, you could feel his tongue gliding perfectly against yours, taking complete control and exploring your mouth.

“I love you too.” You reply with a little laugh once he pulls away from your lips, still floaty from it all.

He then stands up and pulls his undone pants back up. He looked absolutely gorgeous right then and there. When you see your phone lying on the bed where you tossed it a little bit earlier, you quickly reach over and grab it to capture a quick snap of that undeniably hot moment that was right in front of your eyes. His pants were undone like they were when he first put the clothes on and because you missed out on that first opportunity to capture him like that, you weren’t going to miss out on this one. Especially when he’s covered in that amazing post sex glow.

“Are you takin’ pictures of me?” He smirks as he begins to do his pants back up.

“Mhm, how could I not?!” You ask, dropping the phone back onto the bed to fully take in his actions in front of you. “Plus, I want to be the first to memorialize this suit.”

“Well you’re first one to christen it that’s for sure.” Harry jokes. “I do look pretty hot though if I do say so myself.” Harry admires, looking into the mirror beside him.

“Very hot. The leather is just doing it for me for some reason.” You admire.

“Well m’glad you like it sweets.” He Hums “Gotta get up though, I have a feeling they’re about to kick down the door.” He replies, quickly doing his pants back up before leaning over to grab you up from the bed.

“Cant feel my legs.” You tiredly huff, doing your best to move with Harry’s tugging motions.

“Well if I win on Sunday you won’t be feeling your legs for the entire week.” He replies mater of factly.

“And if you don’t?” You ask, deciding to poke at him a bit as you sit at the end of the bed.

“You won’t be feeling your legs for the entire week.” He chuckles, repeating his previous statement.

“Now I’m really looking forward to Sunday. I mean…I get to watch you perform in this suit again, I get to watch you achieve something major in your career, and I get the opportunity to be railed at the end of it all. I’m the real winner here.” You happily reply to Harry before falling back onto the bed.

Masterlist

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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💕Can I request all the senjus,orochimaru,shisui and itachi with a s/o who managed to make themselves immortal with out consequences and they did it without experimenting but they can make other people immortal but people keep trying to kidnap them for it,also they don’t age anymore?💕

This is what pretty much Orochimaru’s dream is.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, kidnapping, manipulation, clinginess

Immortal s/o

Hashirama Senju

🌳He is quite the more supporting and encouraging person. But in this situation even he finds himself a bit unsure how to feel. Your jutsu is quite amazing and something marvelous, but Hashirama is someone who wants to spend his whole life with his darling and die later on when both of them are grey and old together, that is his dream. But with you who stopped aging long ago and will never die, this is something impossible. The clan has definitely a huge interest in you, even though they are aware that your ability will end up being terrifying if it goes into the wrong hands which is why the Leaf guards you very observingly, not wanting to risk that a rival village gets their hands on you. If their strongest shinobi would be made immortal, that would end in a catastrophe. Hashirama himself makes sure that even in his own village no one plans on abusing your powers.

🌳I do not think that Hashirama would force you to either make him immortal nor to somehow tell you that you should try to stop your powers and start aging again. Not like he won't try to convince you to eventually consider finding a way to stop being immortal and instead settle down and live with him. Given the fact that are immortal, you might lived longer than he did and for that have knowledge he and his clan do not possess which is why you're treated from the Senju and the whole village really respectfully, if they need advice they will go and ask you. Hashirama can also only do this much and so he grows more clingy since he knows that he will die whilst you will live. And so he wants to be able to have a place in your heart for all the time to come and alongside with his brother and future generations, he trusts you to protect the Leaf Village once he dies. Even if his darling is immortal, he still wants to marry them since he is traditional.

Tobirama Senju

🌊Despite him being the harsher and much more intimidating and blackmailing guy from all the Senju, he has a rather simple dream as well. He wants to marry his darling and live with them together and one day die. And his dream is messed up with all of this as well and he is quite irritated by the knowledge that you made yourself immortal. On the one hand Tobirama is eager to invent new jutsu himself so from that perspective this is beyond fascinating, a wish many people before him had and tried to work on. But in a way this is honestly way too mocking for him as well because even if his darling might have to endure harsher lessons with him, they might honestly have the relieving thought that he will die one day anyways and then they're free. It is angering because it is true and depending on how old they are, they might nag him because of his behavior and he won't be able to say much against it since he knows they have more experience than him in life.

🌊This might be an advantage you have against him next to the whole being immortal thing. He will start being more respectful once he finds out how old you really are. He literally can not help it and that is why he sometimes, under the risk of his pride, asks you for some advice. He doesn't really want to be immortal either, even though he is more curious about it than his brother is. But what he has to do is always guaranteeing that you are under high protection because he know what terrible things your powers can do when being wrongly used. He might actually try to create a jutsu similar to yours because in a way you have been inspiring him. He also will end up marrying his darling. For starters he is a pretty traditional guy so marriage has a high meaning for him as well. Additionally he is not willing to let you that easily get away with your long life, he is possessive. He just kind of wants to set a mark on you for as long as you're part of the Leaf.

Orochimaru

🐍You have literally achieved what he has been trying to complete his whole life time without even having to experiment on anything and it is thrilling for him. No wonder he is after you as soon as he has heard the rumors, being in his way fervent about it and his obsession starts before he has even met you in person. And oh, he will hunt his darling down, no matter where he has to go and who he has to kill. He wants that jutsu and that talent who created it and no one will stop him. Not going to lie, at the beginning he is a bit salty, mostly because he feels like he has been beaten since you didn't even have to use anyone, you just had pure skill. But whilst he might have lost this, he still can owe the person who had the skills and intelligence and since he will totally force you to teach him that power and make him immortal as well, you might be stuck with him forever if you do so. And the bad part here is that if you don't, he will have no problems torturing you or using you as his next vessel.

🐍You're immortal, so it's not like you will die and he takes advantage of that if you refuse to lend him a hand. If you do help him, he will show his gratitude in a rather odd way, but it's better than his sadstic side. He simply keeps you, that much has to be said already. He can't effort to lose a talent like you, the experience not even to mention. His darling becomes his very special treasure who helped him earning immortality and in return he offers them a place to stay and protection. He knows that everyone wants to have that sort of abilities and he gets rid of all of them all to gladly, he won't let anyone dare to take his special underling away from him. He just always has you tagging along with him. Sasuke gets kind of interested as well since you are indeed powerful and you might as well get close to him since he is together with Kabuto and Orochimaru the only person you will see for a long time. Depending on how long you are already alive, Orochimaru also wants to know pretty much all jutsu and other knowledge you might have.

Tsunade Senju

🐌She looks quite young for her age which comes from the fact that she uses a jutsu that makes her appear young, but she is just like everyone else. She ages and is bound to die one day. And Tsunade handles this maybe a bit worse than some others do. You gotta understand, she just thought that she finally found the one person she can manage to live together with the rest of her life only to discover that they will continue living forever. And to know that she might be only one of many to come and that she might be forgotten one day is truly not very pretty, it makes her a bit more desperate. At first she was probably scared that you used to do the same things Orochimaru did to reach your goal so she was definitely more at ease when hearing that you succeeded without having to go with such drastic methods. For that reason she refuses to let her old teammate find out about you, knowing that he will be after you if he hears that you're in the Leaf which would only give him more reasons to attack.

🐌Tsuna might find herself tempted by the thought to be made immortal from you and live for all eternity together with you, simply because she is possessive as well and wants to be finally happy with the person she loves after all her beloved people dying on her. She's not completely sure, she knows that being immortal can be as much of a curse as it can be a blessing. The the council from Konoha is quite possessive as well, knowing how valuable you are and so they might want to use your powers for more selfish reasons from time to time. This leads to arguments between Tsunade and them because she is often against such decisions, seeing that they plan on making use of you. But one thing they do agree on is keeping you save from all other forces who want you in their grip. Funnily you might be a part of the eldest yourself if you lived long enough which gives Tsunade an advantage since you are on her side and not that narrow-viewed like the other eldest are.

Shisui Uchiha

🍂At this point in his timeline his darling might as well be already part of the village or at the very least known everywhere in the hidden villages for their special jutsu which is why everyone is on some sort of hunt for them. Shisui himself honestly probably never really saw himself falling for someone who constantly dominates the spotlight like you do, maybe also because he thought, despite the fact that you look young, the age difference would make him view you more as a admirable sensei because being able to make yourself and others immortal without having to do experiments on humans needs skill and wisdom. Shisui also just knows that even if you like him as well, this is a completely impossible love since not only might the superiors forbid it, but he does not desire to be made immortal. He already knows that everyone dies sooner or later and given his job being ready to die is a must since he is constantly exposed to danger.

🍂It would only break your heart in the end which is why he kind of feels like it might be best if he stays silent about his feelings at first. He just focuses on protecting you from potential enemies who plan on kidnapping you and tries to be someone who can leighten your mood up a bit since he sympathizes that life for you must be quite tricky. If he does confesses to you because he feels like you really like him as well or you tell him you like him first, he might hesitate and voice his doubts, but can be more easily manipulated since he loves you. Shisui kind of knows that he might not be the last since he doesn't want to be made immortal and you might find after his death a new person you love. And he accepts that, he doesn't want his darling to be alone only because they can't die. But he can make sure that he leaves some sort of impression on you so you will remember him. He wants at the very least a special place in your heart.

Itachi Uchiha

🍡He did not kidnap his darling so he could have their jutsu for himself, he definitely didn't. He did it because he lost control over his emotions and given the fact that you are constantly being chased by other power-hungry persons, he got triggered too much because he knows that some will hurt you to get what they want since you can not die. And afterwards Itachi just has to be really careful so that no one will find out because you are no ordinary person. You are famous and a living legend for your achievement and it'll cause a huge motion if he is being sighted with you because everyone will know afterwards, including the Akatsuki and he can expect that Pain will definitely want you to be a part of his organization since you not only have a very gifted ability, but might also possess knowledge and forgotten jutsu from long time ago. And Itachi doesn't want to force you to live the same life as him, even if you can't be killed on such missions.

🍡Itachi knows that he doesn't have long to live anyways and he already accepted that fact, he has his plans in mind for this. So he knows he won't be there for too long to protect you from all the greedy and selfish people which is why he might plan on making Sasuke look after you once he dies and he tells you about this as well, even though he knows you can handle yourself very well on your own as well. He respects people who are older than him and for that reason he might be far more respectful to the s/o than he would be already and he isn't embarrassed about it. Similar to Shisui he also knows that after his death his darling might find someone else and he won't be angry with them for it. They shouldn't spend their whole life grieving over him since he wants them to be happy. The only person he might ever tell willingly about his darling is Kisame since he is next to his younger brother the only person he really trusts with his darling.

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere hashirama #yandere hashirama senju #yandere tobirama #yandere tobirama senju #yandere orochimaru #yandere tsunade #yandere tsunade senju #yandere shisui #yandere shisui uchiha #yandere itachi #yandere itachi uchiha

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Beyond The Darkness

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Angst, Relationship Struggles, Self-doubt, Insecurities, Swearing

Genre: Angst with Fluff Ending, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Y/N finally expresses their worries, reluctance and suspicions regarding their relationship with Corpse who is more than surprised to be hearing such confession, thinking their relationship couldn’t be more perfect. Well, perfect on the surface.

Requested by @cinnamonbun332 Hi darling! I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request, but here it finally is! You asked for some heartbreaking and then heart-healing and I hope I delivered properly. Please enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

I didn’t choose to be insecure, I never wanted to be so anxious and self-conscious. No one can blame that on me for it’s something I’d get rid of within the blink of an eye if it were that easy. I didn’t choose to fall in love with Corpse either, it just happened. I was taken by storm by the feelings he awoke in me. It was terrifying and made me become a whole different person around him. I was torn between wanting him by my side at all times and never wanting to see him again for the purpose of those feelings dying down. That being said, I can’t be blamed for that either.

However, I can be blamed for one thing: accepting his offer for a date. I didn’t have to. I probably shouldn’t have accepted it just as much as he shouldn’t have brought it up. But, alas, I couldn’t help myself. That storm of emotions, that stirring lava within the volcano I was at the time was dying to seep out to the surface so it wouldn’t burn me from the inside out. Him asking me out on a date was practically the vessel for me to finally have a chance at expressing myself and how I feel and that’s something I’ve never been able to do properly or openly.

But with Corpse it has always been so easy.

Or...it was so easy.

It was easy until I started overthinking everything. Every interaction between us, between him and his friends. Between our two separate worlds.

I now have a hard time seeing us as a union, like we’re living together on the same planet of understanding and companionship. No, we’re more alike two planets in orbits near one another that are close but not close enough. Never destined to touch. Where I once saw light, I now see nothing. Almost as if I flipped the switch to my happiness myself. I wouldn’t be surprised if I did, it wouldn’t be my first time. I have a way of always finding a way to kill my happiness, put an end to my bliss. The key to doing so is what I already mentioned: overthinking, underestimating, undermining, over-worrying. In short: allowing my mind to torture me.

Sadly, it’s also forcing me to torture others.

At the moment, I’m spending day four back into my apartment, having come back with the excuse that I needed to get some piping fixed in the kitchen and needed to watch over the plumbers as they worked. I think Corpse bought that only halfway but if he didn’t believe me, he didn’t show it and I’m grateful for it. Or at least I think I am. Obviously, there was a part of me which screamed ‘See, he doesn’t care!’ at me when all he said in response to my announcement was ‘Oh, ok’. Of course, I didn’t pay that voice much mind then, but it’s starting to creep back in now and I really don’t know what to distract myself with to avoid hearing it. It’s not like I can internally deafen myself to stop it from eating away at me slowly but intently and with a scary determination that even I myself don’t have. Sadly, the pessimistic side of me does.

Truth be told, I wasn’t planning on staying home alone for four days straight, thinking I wouldn’t be able to make it that long without Corpse, thinking my loneliness would kill me. But, now that I am indeed alone, for some reason, I don’t feel really lonely, if at all. It’s refreshing and new, like a new but old perspective. Basically one I’ve missed for quite some time now without knowing that I did. Who knew going back to my empty apartment would be the cure to my messy head. Well, not a direct cure, but I have managed to map out at least a small portion of what’s going on up there, mend some of the damage I’ve done to myself.

Why do you always do that?

There’s that voice again, and some audacity it has! I’m not doing anything to myself! That voice is!

Saying that in court would easily land you in a mental facility, you know.

Fucking touché.

I think the reason why this is happening to me at the moment is because it’s been exactly four days since I last contacted Corpse. Or since he last contacted me. See what I’m going for here? See how toxic my mindset can be? Yeah, even I can hardly believe it sometimes. Like, how can something so dark be part of me - someone who used to be so cheerful and bubbly growing up. My nickname used to be ‘sunflower’ for a reason, but I might as well be a wilted willow now.

And who do you have to blame for that?

Will you fucking shut it!!!

As I’m in the midst of yet another self-argument, I near the doorbell ring, scaring me to the point I almost fall off my desk chair. I only then become aware of the blank MS Word document staring back at me. Throwing myself into work hasn’t been able to help me today. Instead of it distracting me from my struggles, it’s the other way around and I can’t fucking stand it.

Just like I’m beginning not to be able to stand myself. How Corpse and my friends do it, I have no idea. Well, they have it easy I guess, they don’t have to hear all the shit that happens in this beehive on my shoulders.

I lazily saunter over to open the door, not even thinking about looking through the peephole prior to turning the doorknob and swinging it open. That’s a mistake, considering that the mess I am is now face to face with Corpse. Let’s be honest, I’m past the point of stressing over how I look in front of him, we’ve been dating for almost a year now after all. However, this look on me right now is beyond disturbing. One that would leave him questioning if I need help or if I’m doing alright. The answer to both of those questions is no, by the way. Yes, to both.

“Corpse?“ I croak out, fighting my way out of the cloud of confusion surrounding me.

“Y/N?“ He replies, mimicking me though his confusion isn’t as much confusion as it is concern. Gotta say - rightfully so.

I shake my head as if awakening from a fever dream, basically hitting the ground head-first, “Um...yeah, uh, come in!” I finally manage to say, forcing my feet to step aside to allow him inside.

He nods and takes a step beyond the doorstep, cautious as though I’ve rigged the place with traps. I mean, ok, I’m weird, but not that weird. I’m not a complete psycho. At least not yet. Give me a few more months by myself. Or weeks.

“I haven’t been here in so long...“ he mumbles, sounding almost as if he’s talking to himself. Before I could say anything, he wanders off into the kitchen, “Where are the plumbers?“

“What plumbers?“ I blurt out, unable to contain the widening of my eyes when I realize what I’ve said.

You. Fucking. Idiot!!!

“The ones you came here to monitor...?“ His answer sounds more like a question as well, both of us just staring at each other as we await what idiocy will leave my brain and come out of my mouth next.

The silence lasts for a few seconds before he breaks it by speaking up again, “There are no plumbers, are there?”

“No, not today! I mean- not right now.“ I resist the urge to smack my forehead with the palm of my hand in embarrassment. “They’ll come back...later! They were here up until an hour ago.“

Real smooth, Y/N. This is why you never play Among Us

Corpse looks around, even taking a peek over my shoulder before making a mock-confused expression as he shrugs his shoulders, “Your kitchen looks pretty tidy for being a place of such complex fixes happening.“

I let out a hysterical gust of laughter, squeezing my thumb so hard I might rip it off my hand, “Yeah, you know me, I like my living space tidy.”

He nods slowly, “Yeah, I know you. I know you’re not.“

The air gets caught in my throat when he eyes meet mine when he says that. I feel redness creeping up my neck, spreading across my cheeks and climbing up to my forehead and ears.

Oh you’d so be ejected right now

“Y/N, what’s really going on here? Why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong? If so, please just tell me. This silent treatment and avoiding is killing me. If I didn’t come here I would’ve gone insane. You would’ve found my walls with writings on them...“ He stops talking abruptly, letting out a soundless sigh as though his soul left his body, his gaze softening with sadness, “That is, of course, if you were even planning to come back. Ever...“

“Of course I was!“ I exclaim, feeling my chest tighten at the hurt I see in his eyes, “I just...I needed time. I still do.“

“Time away from what?“ He asks, desperate to hear the answer no matter how much it could hurt him.

I honestly don’t know what to tell him. I have no idea what I’m running from. I don’t even know if I’m running, hiding, contemplating, I have no idea what I’m doing. Is he the problem? Am I? Are we the problem? Our relationship as a whole?

“I don’t need time from anything, Corpse. I just...I need some time with myself. With my own thoughts. I’m really torn, have been for quite some time now. I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know if I’m doing is the right thing. I don’t know if we are the right thing. I-...“ I buffer for a second, feeling the words start getting more and more tripped up as they climb up my throat. Eventually, they end up getting caught in an invisible net which doesn’t allow them to make it to my mouth, let alone leave it. Now at a loss for words, I let out a sigh of defeat, feeling my eyes welling up with tears, “I don’t know anything, damn it! I’m a mess. Why do you tolerate me? I’m no good to myself let alone to someone else!“

I don’t know where this outburst came from, but I’d be a liar if I said it wasn’t relieving. I feel like a popped balloon, letting out what’s been straining me from the inside for a long time now. Lord knows how Corpse took it, I can’t bring myself to look up at him, but all I know is that I finally did something I can officially deem right.

Suddenly, I feel the familiar touch of Corpse’s hands on my shoulders, pulling my chest flush against his, his arms wrapping around me, enveloping me in a tight embrace. His lips plans a kiss a the top of my head before he rests his chin there, holding me tightly.

“Why haven’t you told me any of this?“ He whispers, his voice emotional to the point of almost making me regret saying all that.

Almost...

“I didn’t want to worry you.“ I let out a half-hearted chuckle, “And I didn’t want you finding out what kind of nut-job you’re dating.“

He scoffs, “Even if you were a nut-job, Y/N - which, by the way, you’re not - I wouldn’t mind. I’m a nut-job for you. Utterly and completely crazy for you, babe. I’m always here for you, always there for you to talk to me, tell me all that’s going on in that busy head of yours. All you have to do is talk, and all I’ll do is listen.”

I sniff briefly, “Now you’re making me regret not saying it earlier.”

“Then I’m doing the right thing.“ He mutters, his tone suggesting I take the wheel of the conversation and say all I’ve been keeping within me until now.

“You see, I tend to enjoy certain things a lot. Get attached to people super quickly and easily. And then, after a certain period of time, I find myself rethinking and overthinking everything about that thing or person to the point I’m not even sure I like it - or them - anymore. At least not to the same degree as previously. I slowly start become unsure of everything around me, even my own thoughts and feelings. It’s almost like where I used to see light, there’s now darkness. Worst part is, I’m the one who put that light out for myself. I always do it to myself and then hate myself for it. It’s a vicious cycle that I can’t escape - killing my joy and blaming and despising myself for it.“ I sigh, nuzzling my face into his chest, “I just wish this curse avoided our relationship. You’re too good to me, I love you too much to lose you, Corpse.“

I feel his arms tighten their hold on me even more, pulling me even closer despite it not being possible. “Y/N, you can’t lose me. Not over that, not over anything. We all have our demons, you just gotta remember to hold onto me tighter than those demons are holding onto you. You gotta let me help you when you realize you can’t help yourself.” He gently pulls away from me, his hands now coming up to cup my cheeks as he gazes into my eyes, “You gotta learn to see beyond the darkness you surround yourself with. Beyond the darkness, that’s where I’m waiting for you. I’m always gonna be there. I’m a very patient guy, you know.”

I can’t help but laugh, suddenly feeling the bubbly giggles escaping from my chest, pressed out of me by the massive wave of relief that’s washed over my sore insides. Sore from the holding back and now even more so from letting go. But damn does it feel good.

“Looks like I don’t need a plumber but an electrician to fix this light I keep turning off.“ I say, pushing up on my toes to only barely touch my forehead to his. Luckily, he sees what I’m trying to do, so he leans down. “I need him to make it un-turn-off-able.“

Corpse smiles, humming approvingly, “I can help you with that. Starting with...“ and with that he tilts his head, his lips colliding with mine.

I gotta say: damn have I missed this feeling.

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cinnamonest · 3 years

Text

Yandere Profile -- Eijiro Kirishima

Ahhh I finally finished this one! I love my loud red boy bless him

For @shorkbrian !!

Tws: Fem reader, yandere, delusional mindsets, kidnapping, manipulation, stalking, mentions of death, normal yandere content, mentions of a high school setting

Tws (below cut): Noncon, throatfucking, pain content

This is also the first time I'm including my new severity scale (which I just made a post about before this one) in a profile!

================

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 6 Brutality: 5 Physical capability: 9 Mental/emotional instability: 6 Restrictiveness: 5 Sexual sadism: 6 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

He's actually not one of the yanderes that stalks from a distance - he's not so nervous that he can't approach you, no, he's comfortable enough to talk to you in person. Being away from you physically is almost painful, he wants to spend as much time with you as possible. He's also one you might catch onto a little bit, because he's just on the border of being a little lacking in self awareness to the point that he doesn't always realize when he's smothering you. Of course, it aligns well enough with his general personality that you won't think too much of it, just that he can be a little overbearing or clingy.

That being said, he does do his fair share of information collecting when you're not together. Boy is a master at data collection - he'll find socials you forgot you had, posts you made years ago, every major information collection site there is, he'll use to find everything he can about you. Your socials, your friends' socials, your relatives' socials. Even if you have one of those apps that lets you see who's stalking you on your social media, he's already planned ahead for that, and uses a variety of burner accounts so you never notice a thing.

Especially in later stages, as his mental stability is slowly worn down, he's prone to the classic yandere persona flip. Can go from his usual very energetic, spirited, happy go lucky sort of demeanor and, in very shocking and unexpected moments, become highly aggressive towards others, or even snap at you with an uncharacteristic coldness. However, he's aware enough to know he's doing it, and quickly backpedals once he does, apologizing and telling you he's just having a really bad day. Only these "bad days" seem to pile up quite a bit as time goes on.

Similarly, he becomes more delusional with time. At first he might actually be fairly receptive towards your friends, even male ones, and while his behaviors and stalking is present, it's not over-the-top just yet. It will take a few months but gradually he finds himself slipping into an increasing pattern -- just one more hour sitting outside your dorm room, just one more text, one more post of yours from five years ago, just one more of this or that and soon it's completely spiraled out of his control.

He's also aware enough at first to realize you might not be too keen on, you know, essentially imprisonment. If it weren't so fucked up, it would almost be funny to watch him - rehearsing the whole speech he will have to give to darling when she wakes up to himself in the mirror, nervously pacing, not making eye contact the whole time he's explaining himself and later finishing off telling you you're here forever with a "so, uh, yeah," and a nervous little laugh. He's a bit panicked himself but will do his best to calm poor darling down, and, as he tells himself, your initial reaction will be bad, but you'll adjust.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

He's surprisingly patient and can bide his time. If you're good, he's one of a few where you may be able to prolong your freedom and evade captivity for a very long time, years even. In order to achieve this, though, you'll have to never question his very much questionable behaviors, listen to him when he says not to talk to anyone else, spending every waking moment with him, that sorta thing. So really, it only works for a very naive darling who is already paranoid of others. For most people, who will, you know, call him out on his bullshit, he'll change his mind about letting you be free pretty quickly.

This is especially true if he feels like he's losing you -- if you just get upset that's one thing, but if he senses you're starting to become wary of him or even avoid him, he'll be pushed to the edge very quickly. He's not the brightest when it comes to his methods, most likely opting for a very simple break-in during your sleep or kidnapping you on the way home sort of deal.

He was something of this "waiting period," a time some types of yanderes have where they try to be normal. These types of yanderes are most likely to start of their relationships as normal and organic and only gradually devolve, or snap, into a higher state of delusion and unhealthy behavior. He's no exception to this, and you may get a few months of a very normal relationship with only small red flags that seem to be gradually increasing.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

To escape, only moderate difficulty, actually. To stay escaped? That's a different story.

You see, he's got a slight predator-prey thing going on and will most likely give you a window of opportunity here or there (not a lot, only when he's carefully arranged it out). Early on he has a tracking device implanted in you while you're knocked out, but never tells you about it. He'll let you get a little ways, never so far that there's any risk, and always stays within very close proximity. Watching your worried eyes as you can't shake the feeling of something watching you, knowing you're questioning your own sanity in your state of paranoia. It's really cute, watching you dart your head back and forth into the shadows, every which way except for the actual place he's standing. Will wait until you inevitably run into seclusion, when you take that turn onto a corner with no eyewitnesses, when you duck into a business closed for the night for cover, and he'll have a hand around your mouth before you can even make a noise.

He knows he should be mad, but he gets off to it so much it's hard to be genuinely angry rather than just... Roughly exerting the pent up energy into you. Which in and of itself is something of a punishment.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

It's a mix of "more intelligent than he lets on," and "still kinda on the dull side." In particular, he's not very good at telling when someone is lying. It's honestly a coin toss every time you try, which actually makes it more difficult, really. You'll be just hopeful enough that maybe you can deceive him on this one thing, but there's a 50-50 chance it won't work. Unlike a super intelligent yandere who you automatically know better than to try, you'll keep getting your hopes up and trying with him, which ultimately results in more punishments when it fails.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He's moderate on allowances, but still restrictive on contact. As in, he'll get you the things you want, especially once he's making tons of money as a pro. Lets you have a highly controlled phone, complete with internet, but given a lock to prevent commenting or sending or uploading of any kind (aside from messages to him, of course). He doesn't really care too much about the media you consume or whatnot, but if he decides he doesn't like something specifically -- say, youtube videos on lockpicking -- then he'll probably take it away for a time until he can figure out how to better control it.

He's one to let you roam his place to an extent, once again it's a case-by-case basis of "you have this privilege until you do something to lose it." You can cook and access the kitchen until an incident of you hurting yourself or attacking him. You can watch tv and roam around until you break something intentionally out of spite. That sort of thing -- he deals with the problems when they arise, but is generally fairly lenient on your allowances, so really it's very unwise to take that privilege for granted, since it's a lot more than what a lot of yans would allow.

When you're really really good, he'll definitely let you go out with him. As we'll discuss, he likes to emulate normalcy, and really likes the fun kind of dates - theme parks and movies and the like. It'll be quite a while before you get to this stage though, as he has to feel 100% confident you won't try anything at all. Of course, if you do try anything, the privilege will be lost until you earn it back. However, this will also be entirely undercover on his end, probably wearing masks and sunglasses or the like. He doesn't want people to see you with him and recognize him, like a lot of the mha yans, he fears the potential of someone using you against him.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Once again a "make them up as you go" guy. Listen, he didn't plan much beyond the initial kidnapping you and security, so there's a lot he hasn't thought about. From day one, what's made clear is you're not to leave and that you need to accept the way things are as soon as possible, and you know, be a doll and be sweet for him. As time goes on things get added -- don't look up this or that, don't attack or resist, don't backtalk him, don't give him the cold shoulder, etc etc. Over time it will amount to a lot, actually, you see, he's got a very specific image of how you should behave in his mind. Anything that deviates from that will quickly become a rule. So it's kind of like a puzzle for poor darling, you're not given an exact image of what you're supposed to act like or what you're not allowed to do, you just gradually find out with trial and error and an ever-growing behavioral rule list what is and isn't acceptable

.He can't stand isolation punishments, can't take being away from you for that long. He might try at first, but, almost comically, he cracks very early and brings you back out (just went you thought you were gonna get a break from him). It's primarily, (in our sfw section) a matter of losing privileges. To him, he knows that one of the worst punishments is boredom, so he'll take away your things that occupy you and leave you with nothing, potentially restraining you to a single room, so that you eventually cave and apologize.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He uses social methods or underhanded, subtle tricks to eliminate people rather than killing them. Frames them for stealing, or some other misdeed to get them expelled, ruins their social reputation, fakes messages to make you hate them, maybe even to make them hate you. that's during the school-age stages of things. Now, an older hero Kirishima, definitely uses his status to get things done the way he wants. Come on, who in their right mind would try to take the girl of a pro hero to begin with? They were asking for it. He has a few similar methods -- ruins their public image, frames them for a crime, or, if they're persistent enough, may very well just use a couple connections to make sure they disappear -- potentially disappear entirely, or perhaps get permanently hospitalized from a bad accident, become the random victim of some villains, etc.

That being said, during the pre-kidnapping stages, he's definitely gonna start fights with other dudes for looking at you the wrong way. Even if it's horrifically embarrassing, he thinks of it as a show of manliness. You'll eventually have to pull him off and calm him down before he pummels the poor victim of choice completely. Over time, this earns him a reputation for being insanely protective, and it makes people start to avoid both him and you, which is all the better in his mind.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

With most things, he's pretty slow to anger, tries to be very patient and understanding. You have to wittle down that patience with repeated and deliberate disobedience to get a snap out of him - which is highly possible, considering poor darling initially is given no bad reaction. You'll think he's a pushover since he doesn't get super mad the first time, or the second or third, so when he finally does snap it's pretty frightening - it's all the irritation bottled up and released at once.

He tries hard to project the image of who he's known to be - a chill, good natured, optimistic guy, which is why he manages to be so patient. He doesn't want that image ruined for you, and he's very very particular about, and worries about, the image of him in your mind. He has a deep need for you to see him as a heroic figure, to look up to him, and to see him as above you, so he doesn't want to ruin that with violence and anger.

It's usually a literal snap of some sort - whatever he's holding gets slammed down on the table, or crushed or snapped in half (say, a glass or pen). His voice gets low, and builds up into a snarl. Definitely one to grab you by the hair. Drags you to wherever he deems a suitable place to take care of your issues.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

He doesn't think about these things too much, and really, he's somewhat in the middle or can even fluctuate. A lot of it depends on you. If you're good and obedient, he treats you like you're an angel, says he doesn't deserve you. Now, if you're not being so good, he might sometimes let the frustrations slip out into some bitterness, likewise muttering that you should be a bit more grateful that someone like him loves you so much.

That being said, he does want you to see him as above you, wants you to look up to him and, simply, he wants you to think he's amazing and heroic! He goes out of his way to repeatedly impress you with displays of strength and the like, and, like a lot of the hero yanderes, will frequently subject you to watching the news of him saving people. He exaggerates his heroics significantly and makes sure you know just how many people he saved, and of course, he makes sure to show you every girl that blows up his phone after finding his number somehow, all the adoring females fans, and so on, in a very blatant attempt to make you jealous -- having all those fans does get his ego going a bit.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Definitely strongly determined. He wants not only your acceptance, but also to somewhat normalize the relationship. He emulates a lot of normal behaviors like aforementioned dates, but also things like "date night" at home (cuddles on the couch and watching TV, playing games, takeout etc), little good morning texts for you to wake up to when he has to leave early, making food together. It's so tender and sweet that sometimes you could almost forget that you're being trapped against your will. It also, of course, is very beneficial for his imperatives, considering that that sweetness will only help you adjust more quickly.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Probably the previously noted extent to which he strives towards a very butchered resemblance of normalcy. It's like he wants to just be a normal couple... but he doesn't, he can't. I'd say that even he himself kind of struggles with it a bit -- psychologically, he's one of the yanderes that deludes himself because he has to. It doesn't come super naturally, it's that, being forced to recognize how unhealthy and harmful his extreme controlling and possessiveness is, to come to terms with the fact that those urges aren't normal... the guilt would eat him alive if he actually stopped to think about that, if he actually allowed himself to admit that reality to himself. So, he doesn't. He will push that thought away, even though it does exist somewhere deep down, until the day he dies. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't delude himself into believing it's all necessary, and that he's good to you. A lot of his more lenient tendencies stem from this.

It's a conflict between parts of his brain -- a duality of sorts. One part says he wants the normalcy -- he wants dates and love and sex and fun and he wants it all organically, he doesn't want to be a kidnapper, doesn't want to have to do these things. But as much as he wishes he didn't have to, the other part of him does, in fact, say that he has to do these things. Yanderes that have these sorts of internal conflicts due to a strong sense of morality (which he DOES have, really) tend to have a "waiting period," as he does, which I mentioned above -- a time where they try to go about things normally but find themselves unable to.

As a result, I'd say he's one of the yanderes that's actually very likely to start off as an actual boyfriend, rather than a stranger or a friend. He's confident enough to ask you out and charming enough to get a yes, but he just can't control himself over time.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Like some of my other yans I've discussed, he has what you call reactive sexuality. On his own, he's average for a young man, but once he has someone he really has a lot of affection for, that drive goes up significantly in their presence. There's a lot more stimulation, after all, it gets those hormones raging and the urge to fuck goes way up pretty quickly now that there's an availability.

He's moderate-to-heavy on the perversion for what you'd expect from a guy like himself. He's far from pure but he knows exactly how to teeter the line of being just gross enough to make you squirm and blush without being such a horndog that he actually offends you or drives you away. Not that he won't push that line as far as he can, constantly testing your boundaries.

As for touchiness, oof he's VERY touchy. Poor darling. It, like many things, increases with time in the pre-kidnapping stage -- even from the get go he's prone to slinging an arm over your shoulder or leaning on you, but that progresses into gradual soft gropes that you almost feel like you imagined, and extended touches, hands gripping your shoulders, etc. Post-kidnapping, very touchy all the time. Very much a cuddler and likes to grab at everything he can when he does so.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

It's eh, moderate, but ultimately, as in yandere nature, force will be used if necessary. He's so sweet about it at first that it almost doesn't even feel like it. He tells himself you're afraid, and any lashing out is just because of that. Even if you say he's the problem, he thinks that's just because you're embarrassed to admit you're scared. Everything you can come up with, he'll loop back to that rationalization. It helps him get over any potential guilt he'd otherwise have, which he certainly would if he didn't lie to himself.

He's so sweet about the whole thing its nauseating for poor darling. Wiping away any tears on your face, taking a long long time to prepare you up with fingers and touches and words, and telling you it'll be ok, that it only hurts for a second, that he'll make you feel so good, that you'll be happy this happened just as much as he is.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Oral fixation

This boy just... saying he wants you to blow him is understating it. He wants to throatfuck you -- grab you by the hair and use your face like a toy. In the beginning he'll be gentler, but he fantasizes about reaching a point at which he can really just go at it, train your gag reflex to be virtually non-existent. He likes to cum down your throat, but even more he loves pulling out at the last moment and telling you to hold your mouth open and tongue out, jerking off onto your tongue, getting some on your face, and telling you to swallow.

Roleplay/Lingerie

Specifically, he'll get into anything service related. Maid outfits galore. He loves treating you like a doll, really, dressing you up in whatever newest lewdest thing he can find. Definitely keeps up with the newest outfit trends of the egirl type of sphere -- loves the things like thigh highs, virgin killer sweaters, garters, anything of the sort. Very much into the "cutesy" type of stuff on you, expect lots of pastel colors and soft fluffy things. Also 100% will get a tail plug and animal ears of some kind. And it's not just for looks, he likes you to act out the role, too. He's actually super-blushy about the whole idea at first, but he does like the idea of being called "Master," especially when it's all soft and embarrassed coming out of your own mouth.

Size difference/strength difference

It ties back into the thing of wanting you to look up to him. He loves loves loves seeing the faces and the little squeals you make for him when he gives you displays of raw strength - and he'll be sure to frequently remind you of exactly how strong he is. Standing-fucking, slinging you over his shoulder when he's dragging you back home, picking you up and throwing you on the bed, grabbing you by the hips and lifting your entire body up and down when you're on top of him and using you as effortlessly as if you were a near-weightless fleshlight.

No matter which size you may be, he loves it whichever way. If you're tiny and short it gives him an automatic power rush, but if you're larger and taller he loves that too - it gives him a massive ego boost that he can pin you down and control your body with such ease, bonus points if you thought he couldn't since you're bigger than he is.

Size kink pt 2

Also a size related thing, but specifically dick. Listen I refuse to believe this man doesn't have a girthy, thick dick. And he loves the things it can do to you -- the way you gasp and shudder, even little whimpers of pain. He feels bad if there's any pain, but he can't help but get off to the squeals just a little bit, the tears in your eyes are just so cute. Definitely loves making a visible bulge on your stomach, and will make sure you see it too, holding your head in place to force you to watch your stomach bulge every time he thrusts in. Bulging your throat is equally hot, as mentioned above. And he loves the way that there's just that slightly visible gape for a few minutes after he pulls out as your body adjusts.

Threeways

Perhaps very rare for a yandere, he's one of a few that isn't 100% opposed to sharing, provided it's with special individuals, namely a certain blonde friend. Not so much in the relationship aspect, but a sexual one, and it's very well-controlled on his end, with him having the ultimate power over the whole situation. There will always be things that only HE can do to you that no one else can, of course, and it's all only with those he trusts to never spill about your existence. Still, he just really really likes seeing you get spitroasted, really. Can you blame him?

And of course, he'll make sure to get reassurance from you that you only love him and don't care about Katsuki at all, and if he ever gets even the slightest feeling that that might not be the case, it's a kink he'll give up easily if it means soothing the potential raging jealousy.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He actually really, really likes the thought of being a dad. It's sort of a pride thing, having a family he can love and support (it's not like you're gonna be allowed to work), showing you off to everyone. And of course, the emotional attachment you'll undoubtedly form, the dependency you'll have on him.

Getting to watch cum drip out of you and never having to pull out is a nice bonus, too.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Big into overstim. It's perfect because it's a punishment that is both effective, doesn't technically hurt you, and releases all those good chemicals all at the same time. He doesn't initially want to hurt you too bad, but, if you're really bad -- either in terms of the severity of the offense or the number of times you continue to do it -- he can reach a point of anger at which he'll resort to impact-pain-based punishments, too. Ever the sweet one, he actually does research first to make sure he won't go too far and seriously injure you, but once's he's made all the right purchases, I could see him settling on riding crops, he will make you hurt.

And, really, because it all gets him off at the same time -- the strangled little cries and mewls and whimpers are so much hotter than they should be. He likely blindfolds you the whole time, partially to increase your fear and anticipation, but also so that you don't know he's jerking off to the whole thing.

The aforementioned throatfucking is also an effective and very quick, straight-to-the-point punishment when need be. If he's super mad and doesn't have the self control to take you elsewhere he may very well just dump you on your knees and demand you open your mouth or else you'll be in for a lot more pain. If he's in that kind of borderline-sadist mood he can get cruel with it too -- cumming in your mouth but not letting you swallow, making you hold the gross taste against your tongue for several minutes, or, his favorite guilty pleasure he feels too bad making you do most of the time, slamming your face all the way down and holding his cock all the way down your throat, perfectly still. No matter how hard you try to pull back or beat on his thighs, he has an iron grip and will hold you there until you nearly pass out.

Also, hell, just fucking him can be a punishment if he wants it to be. He can manhandle you with such a brutality and strength that it's genuinely painful. You want to know what it feels like to have a, literally, rock-hard dick ramming into your cervix?

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Very much a thigh boy. Not only are they soft and pillowy, but he loves to bite and suck at the insides of your thighs and leave lots and lots of marks. They're just as much for you as they are for him. He makes sure you always wear shorts or short skirts (or nothing is fine too) to make sure said marks are always within your vision.

#yandere bnha #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere mha #yandere my hero academia #yandere kirishima #tw: non/con #tw: yandere

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cosmicjoke · 3 years

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Levi and Zeke: Their similarities and the Fundamental differences between Them:

I’ve recently been having a discussion with @ourmondobongo, and it’s spurred me to want to kind of analyze further the fundamental and philosophical differences between Levi and Zeke. I know I’ve gone into this thoroughly already, but my discussion with ourmondobongo has really made me want to delve in even deeper. First though, let me thank them for, as always, inspiring such insightful discussion among the fan base!

Some really interesting ideas were posted here, about Zeke’s experiences growing up in Liberio informing his world view and his views on the worth, or rather, lack thereof, in human life. ourmondobongo suggested that, because of Zeke’s experiences with his parents, utilizing him as a tool for the Resistance, and his subsequent utilization by the Marlyean army as a tool of war, it ended up warping his perception, and influencing him to believe that all human life is inherently worthless unless it can be molded into a tool or a weapon to further some goal. I agree with this interpretation of Zeke’s mindset and what shaped it. This is undoubtedly how Zeke views the world, and humanity as a whole, and he’s deemed, because of his own suffering, brought about by his experiences affirming this world view, that life is not worth living. Because he sees life as without value unless one can make themselves useful in some way, in his view, the suffering inherent in that makes life fundamentally pointless and meaningless and not worth the effort.

Now, where I diverge slightly from ourmondobongo’s view on this is in relation to Zeke’s influence upon Levi in the final arc, or rather, what they say about Zeke’s philosophy overriding or undercutting Levi’s own. They said that Levi’s belief in an intrinsic value in human life is bombarded and undermined during the final arc of SnK, Zeke’s own belief in the worthlessness of human life being affirmed to him again and again by the chaos and destruction around them, the rightness of his philosophy and belief that this sort of destruction can only stop with the eradication of the Eldian people being confirmed. But see, the thing is, I don’t think Zeke is at all showing Levi something new, or something which he hasn’t already known all his life.

Zeke claims that his experiences in life make him uniquely suited to understanding the conflict between Eldian’s and Marleyeans, and that his experiences make him uniquely capable of knowing how to solve that conflict. But Zeke is nothing if not a unfailingly self-centered egotist, someone driven purely by selfish, egotistical viewpoints, unable and unwilling to perceive anything outside of his limited world view. His life ISN’T unique, his experiences AREN’T unique. They’re, first of all, shared by every single Eldian on both Marley and in other countries around the world. Further, and more importantly to the point I’m about to make, they’re shared by Levi.

Zeke grew up being treated and regarded as a second-class citizen, relegated to a limited area, an internment zone, which he wasn’t allowed to leave unless given direct permission by the powers that be, and regarded as something less than human by the people of Marley. Well, these are all things Levi himself experienced growing up too, and, I would argue, to an even more extreme degree than Zeke.

Levi grew up in the Underground, a sprawling, subterranean city filled with the so called “dregs of society”. A place where the poor, the persecuted, the sick, the dying, the deviant and the criminal were either forced to flee to, or more unfortunate still, were born into. All this underneath the Capital of Paradis, Sina, the richest, most exclusive district inside the Walls. A place where the elite of society lived and worked and raised their families in wealth and luxury. The irony of the poorest, most poverty stricken area inside the Walls being directly beneath the richest, most affluent area inside the Walls can’t be overstated.

Perhaps most relevant to note in this comparison between Zeke’s experience growing up in an internment zone and Levi’s growing up in the Underground, is that the people of the Underground were not only considered second-class citizens, but relegated to something even below that, considered not citizens at all. They were literally denied citizenship within all areas above ground, within the Walls, and if they somehow managed to make it to the surface, and were found out, they would be promptly deported back to the Underground, where they would continue to be denied any and all rights given to the people up above. And, it can be easily argued, that the people of the Underground were treated in many ways significantly worse than the Eldian’s inside the interment zone in Liberio. The people of Liberio seemed relatively well provided for, able to find work, able to earn a living, able to have homes for their families and put food on the table, essentially allowed a sustainable and comfortable life, if one burdened by outside prejudice. They weren’t made to live in squalor. Largely, no doubt, because they were seen as an unwanted, but useful resource for the Marleyean government. The people of the Underground were provided no such provisions. They were viewed as simple refuse, society’s unwanted and unneeded surplus. Poverty and depravation ran rampant in the Underground, a lack of resources and support from above resulting in high crime rates and desperation, to things like murder, prostitution, violence and other sorts of criminality. Further, leading to things like rampant orphaning of children, likely due to starvation and disease claiming the lives of parents, etc... It was a place literally cut off from the sun, a world of perpetual darkness, sickness, poverty and dire straits. They received no aid or support from above, were not provided any of the benefits or privileges of the people on the surface, were not offered any sort of path to success, or betterment of their lives. They were just plainly rejected and left to the whims of fate. This alone makes it a more difficult and desperate place than the interment zones of Liberio, for even there the Eldian’s were given opportunities to improve their lives through the Warrior Unit programs.

You might try to point out that Zeke’s experience differs from Levi’s in how he was taught that he, and on his assumption, every other Eldian, would only ever be seen and treated as a tool to be used for some greater gain, and that Levi, at least, had the love of his mother, and Kenny to show him the ropes of how to survive in a place as ruthless as the Underground, and so Levi couldn’t possibly understand what it means, the way Zeke does, to be seen as a tool, or to be deemed worthless outside of ones utility. But I would counter this simply, by saying that Levi grew up, spent the first, several years of his life, in a brothel, where the very mother who loved him also worked as a whore. Through this experience alone, it can be easily assumed that Levi was exposed to repeated instances of his mother being EXACTLY used as a tool, as an object who’s sole purpose was to give men pleasure. From his birth, then, Levi was exposed and taught the brutal lesson that the sole most important person in his life, his mother, the one person we can assume was the only positive influence and relationship he had, for the first, several years of his life, was seen and treated by everyone else as nothing more than a tool for their basest and most perverse satisfaction. I can scarcely imagine a more horrific or cruel example of a young child being taught the same lesson Zeke seems to think is unique to him alone, that people’s lives are worthless outside of what use they can provide for someone or something else. Beyond that, Levi was again forced to face a situation in which he and his two, closest friends in Furlan and Isabel were used as tools by other people, recruited by Lobov to kill Erwin and retrieve from him an incriminating document, promised, if they succeeded, citizenship above and a handsome payday, only to find out later the entire scenario had been set up by Erwin himself to press Levi and his friends into military service, to be used as tools in the fight against the Titans. Both of these are prime examples of Levi being faced with the lesson that he and those he cared about were seen by people above ground as nothing more than tools, to be used at their disposal. So this was a concept Levi was already well acquainted with by the time Zeke showed up, a merciless lesson in the harshness, violence, brutality and suffering of life. Zeke didn’t experience anything Levi didn’t in turn, and in many ways, with greater extremity.

Anyone trying to claim, also, that Zeke had no positive influences in his life like Levi did would be wrong. Zeke had Mr. Ksavar, for one, and his grandparents, for another. Mr. Ksavar asked nothing of Zeke, merely showed care and concern for him, and a desire to spend time with him, playing catch. It was Zeke who offered to inherit the Beast Titan from Mr. Ksavar, not something forced on him. And while Zeke’s grandparents may have tried to enforce Marleyean history on him in regards to the Eldian’s, they did so out of love for him, in a misguided attempt to PROTECT him, because they cared, not because they were trying to use him in any way.

My point in talking about all of this is to draw a parallel between Zeke’s life, and Levi’s, and then to demonstrate how, despite deeply similar life experiences, the two of them diverge in vital and fundamental ways which, more than anything, can only be attributed to their strengths of character and natural inclinations as people.

Essentially, the gist of my argument is this. Zeke is a bad person. Levi is a good person. And there can be no excuses, or influencing factors found in either of their lives to credit for the way either of them turned out, other than themselves, other than their own natures.

Because Zeke let his life experiences twist him into a heartless, emotionless, unfeeling sociopath who murders other people without remorse, and regards other human lives as meaningless, worthless trash, expendable and disposable as a means to his own ends. He let his experiences in life serve as an EXCUSE for his natural cruelty. He chose to view the lives of others only through the prism of his own experiences, and cast a judgment upon the worth of those other lives. The true reveal of Zeke’s megalomaniacal egotism is in how he finds himself unable to separate the lives of others from his own. In how he’s unable to view the lives of others as anything other than an extension of his own existence. Because he deems his own life worthless, then so too must be the lives of everyone else.

Levi, then, is perfectly his opposite. It isn’t because of Levi’s life experiences that he’s turned out the way he is. It is IN SPITE of his life experiences that he has. Everything Levi’s ever experienced in his life, according to Zeke’s philosophy, should have turned him into a monster. He should have come out of the Underground a sociopathic, unfeeling, brutally uncaring and violent man, ready to take from and use others for nothing more than his own, personal gain, because that was the lesson his life had taught him. Because that was what he’d been shown over and over again. That life is cruel, and ruthless, and uncompromising in its unfairness, and that to live is to suffer. And yet, Levi came out of the Underground with a greater capacity for compassion, feeling, love and kindness than any other character in SnK. He continually and routinely, throughout the series, demonstrates an incredible empathy, consideration, sympathy, generosity and understanding for other people. He is immensely accepting and nonjudgmental, and always, always goes out of his way to express gratitude towards others for their own sacrifices and efforts. He does his absolute best to protect the lives of others, constantly putting his own at risk to help others live, constantly putting his own at risk to save whoever he can. Constantly and consistently, Levi places the lives of others above his own in terms of worth.

And here’s the thing that makes Levi most remarkable of all. The thing which demonstrates beyond any shadow of a doubt the immense strength of his character. Levi very well knows that life is cruel, that life is brutal, that life is unfair, and that often people die for no damned good reason at all, that they suffer for no reason at all. He very well knows that people are breathtakingly cruel and terrible to one another, that people treat one another in unspeakably horrific and unforgivable ways. He very well knows that the dream of a lasting and peaceful world, a lasting peace between humans, is nothing more than a pipe dream, an unrealistic, unattainable ideal. A fancy only a child should genuinely be able to believe in. And yet, once again, despite KNOWING this, despite every lesson and experience in his life impressing this awful reality upon him again and again and again, Levi still does everything within his limited power to ease the suffering of others, to improve their lives, to protect them and show them kindness, to help in any way he can, whichever way he’s able. Despite knowing the futility of life, the pointlessness of suffering, the injustice of other people’s cruelty, despite knowing these things INTIMATELY, Levi still has in him an open, generous, kind and caring heart. Levi still has in him a deep, unending well of compassion and an unwavering desire to protect and better the lives of all the people around him. It isn’t even Levi’s own dream that he fights for, it is the dreams of OTHERS that he fights for. He can’t ever fully embrace this notion of a peaceful existence, free of violence and deprivation and cruelty, because he knows too well the way of the world. He’s been too mired in the indifferent reality of nature and the human condition to ever, really believe it. But in spite of that, IN SPITE OF IT, he fights to protect that dream and belief that others carry, that others strive towards, that others commit themselves to. He gives everything he has, every piece of himself, to protect a dream that he himself can’t even fully believe in, and for no reason more than that it is something which gives others hope, something which gives other’s a sense of purpose, something which one day, possibly, however slim the chance, might come to pass.

It is all in spite of Levi’s experiences in life, all in spite of his weary and cynical understanding of the world and the people in it, that Levi commits himself to kindness, compassion and the chance to help others, in whatever ways he can, even as he knows deep down the ultimate futility in it, even as he knows his own, relative powerlessness in the face of nature’s unyielding and uncaring apathy.

And that really is the fundamental difference between Levi and Zeke. Two men who have experienced such similar lives, and who have learned early on their lives the cruelties of existing in this world, but one who reacts to those cruelties with defiance and courageous opposition, standing in the face of overwhelming odds, while the other yields to it and lets it excuse his cruelty in turn, bowing to its power and letting it consume him.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #Levi Ackerman #zeke yeager #meta #thoughts

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 3 years

Note

You can totally ignore this if you’re just feeling done with the situation (I’m thankful that you give anons a voice in your safe place but it is yours!). (Tw for brief mention of suicide).

I wanted to touch on people coming at others for “defending” Jensen and just say… whenever I see any kind of bullying or shitty rhetoric instead of intellectual discussion and conversation, I’m going to defend the person who is being attacked. (This might be my background coming into play because I work with offenders/in forensics). Someone doing or saying a bad thing doesn’t make them an evil, horrible person. If we look at all the evidence we have of Jensen, he’s a pretty solid guy. What he said wasn’t great… I cannot get over some people in the fandom talking about him sexualising a child/equating what he said to paedophilia. Jack never calls him dad and Jack became God, celestial wavelengths of intent don’t hold ages in the same way humans do? He was played by a 31 year old man? Etc etc etc etc. I think Jensen would be disgusted, and distraught at the thought of people thinking that of him - even in his own panel the audience sexualised an interaction with his children and he shot it down and acted angry “Arrow and JJ love them some daddy… come on THEY’RE MY KIDS!” he has boundaries on that which we saw him assert on the same day!).

When you create a hostile environment for people getting things wrong people will continue to get it wrong. Flatlined. It’s not about excusing him and babying him. It’s just general human decency… it’s about standing up for someone who is generally good and kind when they’re being vilified. Yes, he is a 41 year old man, he doesn’t need looking after or babying… but he’s a human being too and also he’s in the spotlight and has had a lot of shit thrown around about him in the last 24 hours and regardless of what he did, negativity online and trolls have a huge impact on someone’s sense of self and mental health, we see what he puts out there but we’ve no idea what his MH is like in response to social media platforms. My guess with him being so quiet and absent from them is that is does impact him. There is nuance and context to what was said at the con…. All words have an impact - his had an impact on us and our words towards him also have an impact on him whether we see it or not. It’s not an eye for an eye. That leads nowhere fast. There have been things said that are just not okay in retaliation. There have been many (tw) celebrity suicides and genera breakdowns because of trolling etc and life in the media in general is hard because you can never get it right. We can lose sight of celebrities as humans when they’re on our pedestals and then attack them when they don’t meet our expectations, that’s not okay. They’re human too and lead a life beyond us and don’t really owe us anything, people are acting like entitled privileged children right now who aren’t getting their own way (sorry I know this is a really strong statement to make).

E.g. imagine just asking him to explain more what he meant by his comments about Jack or the damage control he did for Jared… that creates space for him to think on what he’s said and then alter his perception or narrative or word things differently and explain. Going for his throat shuts that growth, conversation and development down. I imagine Jensen and Misha have had lengthy discussions around sexuality and Dean and Cas’ relationship and we know that Misha is a vehement believer in it and he has complete distance from Jared who is likely of a very different mindset and belief system but has said wonderful things about Jensen’s support.

I don’t know if any of this makes any sense but I just wanted to raise awareness that just as Jensen’s words have hurt people here, our words can also hurt him and it’s not an eye for an eye if we’re actually wanting him to grow and develop and change and feel able to speak on Destiel in the future. I can imagine the fandoms response to this will have completely turned him off, it has turned me off. That “sexy silence” will be back and it’s fandom created and not so sexy.

I am shaking your hand firmly and handing you flowers. ALL OF THIS. Read this y'all.

#you-cant-spell-subtext-without-asks #nonnie #fandom wank for ts #spn den con

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hellyeahbakubby · 3 years

Text

“fem s/o with speech impediment" | shigaraki & dabi

♔ - headcanons of shigaraki and dabi with a female s/o who has a speech impediment.

pairings - shigaraki tomura x fem!reader, dabi x fem!reader

a/n: thank you for requesting @occasionalgarbage ! I hope you enjoy this and please lemme know if there’s anything awfully wrong with this :)

masterlist ▬

dabi ▪︎ ✝️

Despite being a murderous villain Dabi is extremely accepting of people’s differences,

He doesn’t bat an eye when you stammer, and despite his impulsive nature he hasn’t an ounce of impatience when it comes to you. He’s decidedly respectful to you, which to the rest of the League is more unexpected than Twice training his sanity. To be honest Shigaraki is almost insulted by how pleasant Dabi is to you in comparison to how he treats his boss.

Dabi doesn’t care enough to know what the League thinks though. He’s more focused on you. This pretty girl who’s willingly hanging around with the likes of him. You’re cute and you can actually stand being close to him without being repulsed by his appearance (he nearly thinks you find him kinda hot which only fuels the smug bastard’s ego),

He also feels lowkey protective of you. It’s no secret that in the past you’ve been the punchline of mockery and jokes and the thought of it quite literally makes his blood boil. If he so much as heard a whisper from anyone ridiculing you they’d be a crisp instantly. While he’s known to find glee in the deaths of his victims, Dabi will take a much higher sense of satisfaction from murdering anyone who dares to mock you.

Given he hasn’t felt that strong about anybody before he knows almost instantly that he likes you. He also knows that he’s not one to shy away from things, and his typically straight-forward mindset doesn’t fail him here.

If he’s honest with himself he’s been flirting with you since you met. Any chance he gets it’s a sly comment purred into your ear or a hand pinching your waist lighting. And given that you haven’t yet told him to “back off” you aren’t opposed to his advances.

In fact if he remembers correctly you’d been engaging with the same energy, except you were much more subtle about it, snorting at his jokes and holding his eye contact as well as complimenting his villainous efforts. If he didn’t know better he’d have thought you were sucking up to him.

But now he knows that there’s mutual feelings and while he isn’t a big ‘feelings’ kinda guy this is something entirely different. But he does know better and he also knows better than to just sit around waiting for you to confess your overwhelming adoration of him.

Now, as already discussed, Dabi shows the human decency of respecting you but there’s one occasion where he takes advantage of your impediment. He’s kinda a terrible person and although relationships are built on trust and respect and he does respect you, he takes the smallest amount of glee in that you won’t be able to interrupt him like he’ll interrupt you.

You’re probably in the middle of a conversation with Toga or Twice, talking about whatever, and while Dabi would normally wait for you to finish instead of interrupting, that time he didn’t. With your mouth open as you struggle to find the right words, he slid onto the couch next to you, an arm swung around your shoulders.

“How ‘bout we stop playing this little game of ours?”

Now you really have no words. He could see it in your eyes that you had no idea what he’s talking about. He’s almost disheartened by that but his overconfident ass and overt ego won’t let that happen.

“Oh, c’mon doll. You and I. We’re a match made in hell.”

You blink a couple of times before you grin at him. You can be your ass he kisses you right then and there.

shigaraki tomura ▪︎ 🌌

When he first meets you he probably has no idea that a speech impediment is something a person can have, in my eyes he just doesn’t know much about, or considers what goes on in the other 7.8 billion people’s lives unless they directly affect him and his actions. Because of this I’m sorry to say but he’s not going to be extremely sympathetic or understanding.

Almost certainly tells you to “spit it out” the first time he has a conversation with you. He just doesn’t understand why you don’t just make your point. Given that he’s definitely the most ignorant out of the League, Compress or Spinner probably inform him afterwards that you have a speech impediment and that you’re not just scared of him.

The next time he engages with you it’s almost like he’s a different person. Although his patience isn’t exactly his greatest virtue, out of the few he possesses, he tries incredibly hard to be patient with you and (probably out of Kurogiri’s wishes) he begrudgingly offers you a “my… apologies… for the last time we interacted.” It’s almost a sneer but something about the fact that he said any semblance of an apology makes you think it’s not lacking in sincerity.

The man may be a villain and may not be overly fond of his fellow humans as a collective but he’s loyal to his allies, so long as they obey him. The League is his ‘family’, or the closest thing to it, and his pride is not too big to allow a measly little apology to damage it. Plus he was only apologising to you, it wasn’t like Dabi or Toga were the ones on the receiving end.

To tell you the truth, ever since your arrival in his field of vision he’s found something fascinating about you. It might be the fact that instead of being terrified you’ll face some grizzly death at the League’s hands, you’re more nervous that it’s members won’t like you. It might also be that for the first time in his life he actually likes looking at someone.

He almost certainly doesn’t really comprehend that there’s a term for what he’s feeling but you can be sure that he’s going to act on it. When it comes to planning a big mission or the like, Tomura is calculating beyond belief but when it comes down to his ‘personal’ life (if you could call it that) he’s as impulsive as they come.

He might not know exactly what he’s doing but you can bet your ass that he’s gonna flirt with you like crazy. Except instead of trying to make you like him he borders on trying to make you squirm. (He has no idea about how to make you like him back mostly because he hasn’t realised he likes you)

“Hiya there, princess.”

The pet names are the first thing you notice. The first time he addressed you as ‘sweetheart’ you blushed so hard it took half an hour for your face to cool down. Although it’s sorta(?) endearing, he can’t help but flush with pride when you struggle to respond (he’s a sadistic bastard who doesn’t quite understand his own feelings), almost as if he delights in being able to ‘take your breath away’.

The compliments that come after are almost more disconcerting.

“With eyes like those you could lure sailors to their deaths.” He’d just finished reading one of the books lying around about sirens and mermaids.

You’re sure to utter a soft, “Thanks,” anytime he ‘compliments’ you.

It’s all about control for him and although the idea that he likes you hasn’t been breached to either of you, he becomes highly possessive of you. Not in the sense that he’s taking control of your life or you but if anyone so much as looks at you funny it’s an insult to him. He’s childishly prideful and he now takes pride in you.

“Do you… do you… do you like… me?” you ask him.

He probably stares at you for a long time, mind churning away. You’d asked to talk to him in private and he’d be lying if he said a flash of excitement didn’t enter him. But he also couldn’t deny that your question didn’t stump him a little. He hadn’t thought about it like that till now.

“Yes…”

The smile that graces your lips after his answer is something he didn’t realise he’d been looking for but now that he’d had it once he wanted it again and again.

The change was instant. To say that he’d claimed you would be the most accurate response. You’re never further than an arm’s reach from him.

The longer your relationship stretches on for the more patient he’d become. He knows that you’re capable of getting your point across in a conversation regardless of how long it takes or if you stammer or anything else. He’ll happily wait for you to get your words out on your own whereas others might grow impatient and try to finish your sentence for you.

He might be patient with you but if anyone else disrespects or mocks you there is no second chance. His lack of remorse only makes it ten times easily to turn any offenders into dust.

He’s an awkward and slightly obsessive s/o if we’re honest but for the first time in his life he cares about someone and I’ll be damned if he isn’t going to treat you like an angel and anyone who doesn’t do the same better wish they’d never been born.

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

Note

Thoughts on the ship Rosalie/Bella?

While it’s a nice thought, sadly, I don’t think either Rosalie or Bella are what the other would ever seek in a partner.

Indeed, I think the other would be too close of a reminder to what they see in the worst of themselves. So, even in better circumstances, I don’t think they’d choose each other.

Let’s break that down.

What is Rosalie Looking For?

Rosalie’s past is one filled with brutal trauma, betrayal, and heartbreak. She has been violated by men in the worst of ways, betrayed by the man she thought would be her husband, and then has the surreal experience of being turned into something that, while alive, is not human.

She romanticizes the human life she could have had, clinging to it, never acknowledging that circumstances were such that she never would have had it.

Rosalie never was going to get that simple future of being a humble, good, simple man’s wife with beautiful children and a comfortable life. She was raised in society, uncommonly beautiful and charming, and was set to marry the wealthiest man she could. It might not have been Royce, she could have married a good man, but she would have married into this wealthy world and not ended up with someone like Emmett.

I think this is very telling.

For very understandable reasons, Rosalie has never confronted nor truly gotten over her trauma. Oh, she murdered her rapists and murderers, and put their deaths behind her, she married Emmett and has a (fairly) good relationship with him, but she hasn’t taken her full final steps to recovery.

I think this in part shows in her ending up with a guy like Emmett.

Emmett’s not bad, don’t get me wrong, but it’s very telling in what he loves of Rosalie and that Rosalie loves him for it.

He worships her beauty above all other things and is described as a very simple but pleasant and laidback guy. I think Rosalie is at the point where she wants to be worshipped, especially for the quality that was most valued in her human life, her beauty.

She wants to be with someone safe, someone who loves her, and that someone is definitely Emmett.

I think in the short run this works out very well for the pair of them and perhaps even in the long run. I think both could have chosen a better partner.

Rosalie is complicated, she’s not the shallow vain bitch Edward complains she is nor is she what Emmett seems to see her as. Emmett doesn’t really get his wife, or defend her all that much, he’s in love with her beautiful cheerleader persona. Rosalie, similarly, is in love with this man whose greatest attribute is his love of her. I’m sure there are moments she finds Emmett rather boorish and slow on the uptake.

What Do I Think Rosalie Needs?

To be honest, of all the characters where I raise my eyebrow at Meyer putting them with someone of the opposite gender, Rosalie’s one of the ones where they raise the highest.

Even Carlisle, when Rosalie drags in this man’s bleeding carcass, goes, “Oh, is this your cousin?” And has a “Him?!” moment when Rosalie explains this is her new husband.

I always would have expected, especially after her experiences, for Rosalie to be with a woman. That said, I do think her society’s prejudices and expectations would be a huge barrier for her and she’d have to do a lot of character growth before this would ever be possible. And I mean a lot of character growth, as in, Rosalie hasn’t reached this point even post Twilight saga.

Right, regardless of gender, I think Rosalie needs a partner who a) understands her b) does not value her looks c) accepts the good and the bad parts of her.

Like all of us, Rosalie is flawed. She’s a very impressive, down right intimidating, woman who has an iron clad will and gets what she wants. She has a deep love for her family and a great capacity for compassion. However, there are times when she’s the sixteen-year-old girl who has very much not escaped her society’s mindset. She fully advocates Bella Swan’s murder so the family won’t have to move, not realizing until Carlisle points it out that this is a heinous thing to do. Rosalie says vicious, racist, things to Jake likely never realizing exactly what it is she’s saying. She’s stubborn, proud, and as Edward put it a bit pig-headed.

Emmett tends to just go “Yeah, she’s a bitch, but she’s my bitch”. Which... great, thanks Emmett, that’s very helpful.

Bella Swan is Not That Person

Bella per the start of the series is a seventeen-year-old girl with cripplingly low self-esteem, huge parental issues, and a dangerous inclination towards depression.

Bella shows serious interest in women sexually (her relationship with Alice has some serious homoerotic undertones) but she’s also very intimidated by them. Rosalie, especially, makes Bella evaluate and feel worse about herself as she knows she will never be as beautiful as this teenage blonde goddess.

In other words, this Bella is not in a position to be the kind of person Rosalie needs. She’s too caught up in figuring out who she herself is, cares very much about Rosalie’s appearance and using it to compare against her own, and isn’t stable enough to be what Rosalie needs.

And by the end of canon... Well... Bella’s left the planet and will soon join Esme in being a hauntingly strange person entirely divorced from reality.

What if we’re in a slightly AU world?

Well, we’re banking on a lot of character development for Bella that I don’t believe can happen with Edward around. Either Bella shows interest in Edward or, well, he eats her. (No, seriously, this is canon, both Alice and Edward confirm as much.)

And if the family packs up and leaves during New Moon and never comes back... Well, of all the people Bella might end up with after that, I think Rosalie might just be the least likely (not to mention Rosalie would not be down for hanging around Edward’s stupid human girlfriend).

What is Bella Looking For?

Bella’s looking for validation of her very self. She wants to be loved, more than that, she wants to be worth something.

Bella has such a low opinion of herself that, at this point in her life, she needs this feeling to come from elsewhere. She finds this in both Edward and Jacob.

And it doesn’t matter how scary they are (and both are, indeed, very scary towards her), it doesn’t matter what it is they value, just that they both seem to want her even though she’s a foolish, clumsy, pale, ugly, human, nobody, loser.

That’s all Bella wants.

Edward’s a perfect storm in that he’s inhumanly perfect, beautiful beyond all comprehension, and completely obsessed with her. In Edward’s eyes, Bella is not just perfect, she’s fascinating.

And then, of course, she’s not and it utterly destroys her.

Basically, Bella’s is a very sad life.

What Does Bella Need?

Bella needs time to grow up and find out who she is and how to value that.

Bella is your very typical teenage girl. She’s precocious, has a lot of issues growing up with her mom, but she has a lot of issues many teenage girls do have.

I think, before Bella can find a truly good partner, she needs to learn how to value herself.

This will be painful and take a lot of time. In New Moon, I think Jake actually sets her back as she uses him to find value in herself for her (essentially replacing Edward).

Only after Bella discovers who she is, reaffirms why she is important and worthy of love, can she find someone.

What does that person look like?

Well, it sure as fuck isn’t Vampire Patrick Bateman, otherwise known as Edward Cullen. Nor is it Jake Black who sexually assaults her, tells her to kiss him or he’ll kill himself, then tells her that her dying is pointless as it means he and Edward fought over nothing.

It also isn’t Alice, who treats Bella a lot like she would a life-sized Barbie Doll rather than a friend and a human being.

I’m not sure who it is, to be honest.

Someone who recognizes who Bella is, certainly, the good and the bad. Someone who is able to... reconcile her with the world she truly lives in. Maybe, circumstances changing around a bit, it’s Carlisle Cullen? (Though that would certainly be a dumpster fire of divorce and despair with Edward and Esme) Maybe it’s Jasper (also a dumpster fire of divorce and despair with Edward and Alice)?

I really have no idea here. Unlike Rosalie, I can’t even tell you what this person would need to be like.

What I do know is...

Rosalie is Not That Person

Just as Bella views Rosalie as a threat, as something to measure herself against and feel unworthy of in every way, Rosalie does the same.

Bella is a pretty human woman who captures Edward’s attention in a way she never can. Rosalie, at the time we start canon, for all her accomplishments and all she’s done is still insecure enough that she needs to be the prettiest woman in the room.

Just as Bella’s not secure enough to be what Rosalie needs, Rosalie is not secure enough to be what Bella needs.

Rosalie also doesn’t see Bella for what she is. Rosalie sees, at first, a normal boring human teenager and dismisses her. She falls into the typical Cullen trap (for all but Carlisle) that they forget humans are people too. Later, Bella discounts Rosalie’s very earnest advice and Rosalie never forgives her for it. This is understandable, Rosalie lays her soul bare, but she forgets Bella’s a teenage girl and more can’t see what Bella herself is battling with.

Bella thinks being human is worthless because Bella thinks being Bella is worthless. Children and a human future mean nothing to her.

It would take a lot, A LOT, of character development for Rosalie to be someone that Bella needs in this situation and even then... Well, they’d have to deal with the horrifying shit show that is Edward. Because if Edward/Bella isn’t happening...

It’s lunch time.

TL;DR

I’d say pin your hopes on Alice/Bella, except that one’s not happening either for all that they do have their very homoerotic friendship.

#ask #anon #twilight

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let-them-read-fics · 3 years

Text

Handle With Care

Requested By @posies4rosie: "Jisoo once gave advice in an interview to people who are having anxiety/depression, that when they feel themselves “slipping under”, they can try turning their thoughts to something lighter and focus on the better things instead before getting consumed. -- Request for reader x Jisoo where reader had one of those episodes and failed to pull herself out, which she thinks she’s failing Jisoo by not being able to help herself, causing her to sink even further. -- Jisoo uses her way to help reader. Angst with a happy ending, please <3"

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 3,948

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Self-Doubt, Mentions Of Anxiety / Depression, Fluff, Light Smut / Suggestive Themes, Some Cursing, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hello again, my lovely readers! I really enjoyed writing this one, so thank you very much for requesting. I hope all of you enjoy it -- Happy reading!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

The day started off like any other, nothing seeming out of place or particularly noteworthy as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and took a look around the room. Jisoo had to leave before you woke up, and a sweet letter on the bedside table served as her parting gift.

My love,

We have an early stage today, but I'll be back before you know it. Turn it on if you miss me too much ;)

All my love and kisses,

Your Jichu

It made you smile, imagining her saying those words with a little smirk on her lips, and you mindlessly toyed with the edge of the paper. The power this woman holds over your heart is a bit frightening, if you're honest with yourself. One simple note, merely a paragraph at best, warms your heart immensely. The thought of her alone is capable of making you giddy, magically turning you into a love stricken teenager. She rules your world with care, always making sure you feel important and valued; she fights your demons right beside you, never backing down for a minute.

Before Jisoo, you falsely thought you knew what love was; the ill-conceived notion that you used as a guide was flawed in every way. You were raised to believe that true, honest love only existed in far-off realms -- in worlds of make-believe; so, naturally, settling had always been your forte. You blended in and stuck with the crowd, always going for the safest option when given the choice. You limited yourself with each decision you made, and deep resentment blossomed within you.

Resentment at your family for allowing the disease of self-doubt to grow within you. They could've stopped it before it really began; they could've assured you of your worth instead of letting you think your insecurities true.

Resentment at yourself for believing them.

Everytime you attempted to break the pattern and listen to your heart when it told you that there was a world beyond such mundanity, some nagging voice in the back of your head told you it was all a lie. Your life so far, as boring as it may have been, was predictable and safe. Although you ached for the unexpected, for some all-consuming thrill to shake up the life you had grown to accept, you always fell back into that old mindset. Your fears outweighed your courage every time, and you knew it was futile to go against them.

But one day -- one beautiful, fateful day -- you met Jisoo. It was a time in your life that you needed a friend; someone to listen and assure you that things would be okay. In allowing your paths to cross, the universe most certainly blessed you; Jisoo became your confidant in the blink of an eye, offering consistency and understanding, and you let her slip past the walls you spent years so meticulously putting up.

You didn't do that often, and yet it seemed like a no-brainer with her. She made you feel as though you were enough, that you mattered in a world that so adamantly tried to make you believe otherwise. Her love was unconditional and fierce, thorough and far-reaching.

Keeping people at arm's length had always been your way of ensuring that life stayed as predictable as ever, precariously balanced in that safe zone of no risk. Even when you dated people, giving into those innate desires to be cherished despite not deeming yourself worthy, you never really let them in. Not all the way, at least. Something always told you that others were better; closer to perfection. No matter the person, you could always find a reason to say that they were better. That they were something you'd never be; that they had something you'd never have.

The comparisons didn't stop when you began dating Jisoo, but they sure as hell slowed down some. All of that was her doing; she filled your mind with constant reassurance and love, always showing you what a healthy relationship looked like. Over the years, she learned to read you well: the shifting of your eyes served as a sign that you were getting overwhelmed; the way that you zoned out told her the negative thoughts were barreling in. Though she's convinced you to give yourself some credit in the matter, she's the main one responsible for getting you where you are today.

She's your strength -- your reason for wanting to be better.

-------

"Dalgooomie," you cheerily sing out, your voice echoing throughout the apartment. That familiar sound of paws on hardwood draws a smile from you, and you turn to see him eagerly scrambling towards you.

"Good morning buddy! Are you ready for a walk?" For a moment, you swear he can understand your high pitched speech; he spins around, wagging his tail happily as he looks towards the door.

With a laugh, you clip his leash on and the two of you begin your walk.

It's a gorgeous morning; the sun is peeking up, illuminating a sky of beautifully pastel colors as the grass shines with dew. The beads spring off in different directions, the surface tension of the water breaking every time Dalgom rustles his way through the lawn. You have a feeling that today will be a good day.

If only you knew.

About 15 minutes later, you unlock the front door and grin as he charges into the familiar space. He tugs you with him, drawing a chuckle from you as your feet stumble in through the doorway.

"Slow down buddy! I know you're hungry but you've gotta give me a second," you shake your head, amused, as you remove his leash and make your way to the kitchen. He follows suit, barking when you take too long for his liking.

"Yah, okay okay!" You scoop his food into the bowl and pat him on the head as he begins to eat.

A ding from your phone sounds off, the notification surprising you a little. Great timing, you think to yourself.

"About to go on stage, I'll text you later. Xoxo"

Your heart warms at the message, and you type a quick reply before heading to the couch to turn the tv on.

At first, all is well: you watch your girlfriend in awe, always so enraptured by her performances. During one portion of the program, you even run upstairs to retrieve your lightstick and dance around in the middle of the living room. As much as Jisoo can't believe you actually bought one, she thinks it's the most adorable thing ever.

Everything was going well, truly, until towards the end of the show, when the girls were interviewed with a few other idols. One in particular, a female soloist, stood beside Jisoo, looking completely at ease next to her. She was beautiful in every way imaginable, and you couldn't help but begin to compare yourself. You tried to focus on how happy Jisoo looked as she joked with her members, answering the questions with that quick wit you love so much. But your mind soon again filled with intrusive thoughts, taking the focus away from Jisoo.

She looks so much prettier than you do

Watch how she's looking at Jisoo

They look pretty together

What if Jisoo likes her?

I bet she does

You physically shake your head in an attempt to force the thoughts out. Jisoo loves you, you know that. She's with you for a reason. Eventually you're able to look at the tv again without grimacing, but soon that progress is destroyed all over again.

The soloist puts her hand on Jisoo's arm, motioning to the girls and herself as she explains something to the MC. She must've cracked a joke, said something really hilarious, because all of them burst into laughter. Jisoo throws her head back, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth as she giggles loudly. That joyous sound hurts you now, almost feeling like she's laughing at you.

It's ridiculous and immature, but your brain takes it there no less. You know better, but your mind is flooded with insecurity and fear, overrun by your unforgiving worries. Tears are streaming down your face as the thoughts grow worse and worse, and it feels suffocating. You consider yourself weak for blowing such a seemingly innocent thing so out of proportion, twisting what should be a positive thing for your girlfriend into something negative. But you can't help it. Your brain betrays you, coming up with hundreds of hurtful scenarios that pile on until you can't breath. It's a physical pain, one far too overwhelming to "wish away" now. You turn off the tv and dart up the stairs, set on crying into your pillow until your mind decides to give you a break.

-------

"Y/N, baby, I'm home." Jisoo calls, and you can hear the material of her jacket slide onto the metal hook beside the front door.

"In here," you say weakly, cursing your voice for even hinting that you're less than okay. For Jisoo, you want to be perfect; you want to seem like you have your shit together. She must not have thought anything out of the ordinary, though, because soon you hear a little giggle from the hallway.

"Hi Dalgomie, did you miss mommy?" She coos, her voice higher than usual and bouncy as she bends down to scoop up the pup. She pads her way into the kitchen, talking to him all the while. Her free arm snakes around your waist once she reaches you, and she leans around to kiss your temple.

The action was loving and simple -- it shouldn't have made your heart ache. Perhaps it wasn't the act itself that caused it; maybe it was the accumulation of all of your emotions from the day coming to the surface. The feeling of Jisoo's arm around you reminded you of earlier; of how close she was to that woman on the program. They looked incredible, clad in the blingy outfits you could never afford and elegant in their mannerisms. It all brought forth the nasty idea that she's just settling for you -- that she's only with you because she feels sorry for you.

When you don't start a conversation like normal or even turn to look at her, Jisoo knows something's wrong. Gently, she kisses Dalgom's head before setting him down on the ground. He trots off towards god-knows-where, and you almost wish to be him. You want to avoid the discussion you'll surely be having any minute now; running away has always been your go-to.

But Jisoo won't stand for that. She's mature and honest in every way, and she knows how to handle you.

"My love, what's wrong?"

She's earnestly concerned, and her tone lets you know she doesn't want you to brush the problem away. Without even knowing the issue yet, Jisoo can tell it's something worth working through.

"I had an episode today and I wasn't able to stop it." You hang your head, your fingers busying themselves by toying with the bread bag in front of you. Once you had stopped crying earlier, you came down to make yourself some food; after all, you hadn't eaten all day.

Jisoo tuts at you, slowly turning you around to face her. The back of your legs lean against the counter now, and tears threaten to spill out of your eyes. A few moments of silence pass, Jisoo giving you the opportunity to elaborate. She always offers you the option to initiate the process, not wanting to risk diminishing your feelings before even knowing what's troubling you. She never patronizes you, and you're endlessly thankful.

With a deep breath, you lower your gaze to the floor and continue. Seeing the disappointment in her eyes is definitely not something you can handle in your already emotional state.

"I turned your show on today and saw the pretty idol you were talking to. I started comparing myself and it all got worse from there." You inform quickly, just wanting to get the words out.

She sets her jaw, clenching and releasing the muscles repeatedly as she decides on how best to respond.

"Did you use the technique we talked about?" She asks gently, releasing the question with care.

"I tried, but it didn't work this time." A single tear rolls down your cheek, and you swipe it away before Jisoo can even notice it.

You feel like you're failing her by giving into your worries, but they're incessant. They fight for your attention, completely overruling any "happy thought" that you might have previously hoped would be capable of mitigating your fears. You're disappointed in yourself, but since when is that a new thing?

"She's an idol, Jisoo. She can relate to you in ways I'll never be able to."

"You think I'd throw away 4 years with you to be with someone I barely know, because we can relate?"

She voices your fears in such a way that you instantly feel foolish for believing them. Nevertheless, you persist.

"She's everything I'm not."

"And that's precisely why you never have to worry."

With furrowed brows, you tilt your head and look at Jisoo: her statement confuses you.

"No one else even comes close to you, baby. You're what I want. You're who I want. Every little thing that makes you who you are is a reason I love you."

Your heart beats harder at her words, taken aback by how genuine they sound. She's saying all the things you need to hear, but it feels too good to be true.

"Loving me is exhausting; I don't see why you keep doing it. You should be with someone who doesn't need coddling… who isn't broken like me. We go in circles, Jisoo. I always go back to giving into my fears."

She lets out a disbelieving scoff, soft in its volume as she says, "If I wanted to leave, I would've. You've given me more than enough chances to go, and still I have yet to find a reason to. I'm not perfect either, Y/N. You act like everyone else is so high above you, but we're really all just dealing with our own baggage."

"I have enough of that for 10 people." The phrase is pointed and self depreciating, and Jisoo can't take it any longer.

"Stop. Look at me, baby." She finally breathes out, hooking her fingers underneath your chin and raising your head.

"Whether or not you think I'm making a mistake, I'm always gonna choose you. My life isn't complete without you in it; our stories became intertwined the day we met."

Her cheek briefly tugs up in a lopsided smile at the memory of your first meeting.

"I'm just scared, Jisoo. Do you know how many times people have told me they'd stay, just to leave the moment they found someone better? I know I'm not easy to love; I know it's difficult. I just can't imagine what I'd do without you. You've made me feel emotions I never even knew existed."

You're more honest with Jisoo than anyone else, and being so vulnerable scares you. Nevertheless, it feels good to open up sometimes.

"You'll never have to find out what that's like, because I'm never leaving. Do you understand how in love with you I am? I don't think you do."

You slip your chin out of her hold again, still disappointed in yourself. The action hurts her more than you know, and you miss the way her face contorts into a sad frown.

"When I roll over in the morning and see your face on that pillow, I don't know what to do with myself. When I'm holding you and Dalgom cuddles in between us, it's like I see a glimpse into my future. When you smile at me it's like I can finally breathe again. My home is with you; please don't ever doubt that. You're my world."

And then, you hear it. The noise that very rarely ever comes from your girlfriend. A sniffle.

Your eyes shoot up to hers in an instant, searching through her deep pools as you step forward to cradle her face in your hands. She tries to turn away, already upset with herself -- she knows you'll blame yourself for her tears.

Jisoo only cries in front of you when she's frustrated or deeply moved, and sometimes when she's scared. As you run a thumb along her cheek, you attempt to figure out her reasoning for it this time.

Once she eventually accepts that you aren't letting her get away, she leans into your touch.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You sell yourself so short. The fact that you think you're anything less than incredible devastates me. You're amazing in every capacity… and so, so beautiful."

Her voice wavers, taut with the emotions she's still reeling from. She says the words so assuredly that you begin to give in and believe them. She makes them sound like simple facts; common knowledge to any and everyone. On top of that, you're pained beyond belief that anything of your doing makes her this sad. She deserves to be smiling constantly, so hard her cheeks hurt and her belly aches from laughing.

"I'll never be able to see myself like you do, Jisoo, but I'm willing to work on it. You've already helped me more than you'll ever know, and I've come pretty far. Sometimes I just can't keep the thoughts at bay."

She nods, moving the hand that previously rested on your hip to hold your wrist. She strokes the skin gently, leaning further into your touch as her eyes soften with understanding.

"I love you. Thank you for dealing with me." You utter, leaning forward to rest your forehead against hers. She sighs at your words, rubbing a comforting circle on your back.

"Thank you for letting me in, jagi. Saranghae."

Your lips move to meet hers now, halfway, both of you needing to feel each other. It's slow and meaningful; she takes her time with it, treating it just like she does your heart. You tilt her head to deepen the kiss, noting the warmth that her cheeks still radiate as you trail your fingers over her skin.

A subtle shiver courses through her at your ministrations, drawing a smile from you. You'll never get tired of kissing her; of having her wrapped in your arms, so close to you. Vulnerable moments like these remind you of how different she is from everyone else. She's your everything and then some, and she needs you as much as you need her.

A bit impatient now, Jisoo tugs at your bottom lip, silently asking for more. You tap her thighs before looping your hands underneath them, swiftly lifting her onto the kitchen counter. The thin material of her skirt sits a little higher up on her legs now, having ridden up as you moved her.

She hooks her legs around you as you move to stand in between them, preventing her from falling and keeping her as close as possible. You break the kiss to study her for a moment, lazily running your fingers along the newly exposed skin of her thighs. Her hair is on its way to being mussed, the curls from her earlier performance now coming undone.

Her tongue darts out of her mouth to moisten her lips as she drinks in the sight of you. The top 2 buttons of your blouse are open, allowing her eyes to gaze at your chest wantonly.

She trails a hand up your body, teasing you before she grips your collar and yanks you forward.

Your lips meet again but this kiss holds something different than before: it's passionate, full of need. She adjusts her posture so that her body is flush against you, enabling you to feel how hard her heart is beating. No one else is capable of making her feel this way, and she's determined to remind you of that.

You bite her bottom lip before smoothing your tongue over it to soothe any ache your actions might've caused. The act is welcomed by Jisoo, proven by the groan that vibrates in her throat. Her hands tangle in your hair as you lower your head to her neck, pressing your lips to the tender skin.

"A-ah, right there," she husks out, her voice deepened with desire. Her wish is your command, and you take your time in leaving a mark there. You continue your assault, leaving a trail of purple-ish bruises in your wake as you move to untouched patches of skin. She knowingly spurs your actions on by moaning into your ear when you bite with just the right amount of pressure, her breath hot on your neck.

You pull away to admire your work, knowing her makeup artist will have a field day with covering up all of your marks. She leans back a bit, slowly swiveling her hips as she uses her ankles to pull you closer.

Her movements fuel the heat pooling between your legs, and you don't even attempt to stop the moan that leaves you. She knows you so well; she knows exactly what gets you going, just what to do and say.

"Come here," you command, securing her legs around your waist as you lift her off of the counter. Her lips find yours again, keeping them occupied as you walk towards the couch -- trekking up to the bedroom would take far too long.

"Tell me what you want, baby." You say, laying her down on the plush cushions. She pulls you against herself again, smiling at the feeling of your hips pressed into her. At first, she defies you, opting to push her lips against yours instead of answering your question. You know what to do to make her talk, though. Slyly, you pull away, barely ghosting your lips over hers. It's just enough contact to make her want more, but not enough to satisfy her.

With a press of your thigh to her center, she's already bucking her hips up into you, reaching up to reclaim your lips. She whines as you pull further away, not allowing her to kiss you until she gives you an answer.

"Use your words, Jisoo." You add your hand into the mix of things driving her crazy as you trail it down her body, allowing your fingers to sneak under the hem of her shirt and skim over her abdomen.

She looks at you defiantly, causing you to quirk an eyebrow. Challenging you, is she? Two can play at that game.

You apply more pressure to her core, allowing her to take pleasure in two more strong strokes against your thigh before pulling away completely.

"Fuck- no. Y/N…" she pleads, reaching for you again. She's really getting worked up now.

A smirk crosses your lips at her desperation, and you almost have to stifle a chuckle. She knows you're stubborn, and denying herself release seems idiotic when all she has to do is listen to you. So, she gives in.

"I want your mouth; your fingers. All of you."

Your cocky persona falters a bit at her words and you feel the blood rushing through your veins at the way she said them. Her voice was raw with lust, dripping with desire as she eyed you.

"Was that so hard, baby?" You tease, resuming your previous movements with a smirk.

"Shut up and kiss me." She huffs out, half annoyed and half amused.

"Yes ma'am." You press your lips to hers and get started on meeting her demands.

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