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fullscoreshenanigans · 4 months

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If I were greedy…

I spend a disproportionate amount of time appreciating the addition of these four simple words to the "I really wanted to develop these myself…" line in the manga side scene with how much insight they provide the audience into Ray's mindset during this arc.

Greedy people don't pull off successful escapes. Greedy people risk getting their friends killed. Greedy people end up losing everything.

(Chapter 181.1 | Chapter 4)

It's a layered message to Isabella as well.

You've known what I've wanted for a long time now. None of those three things have changed. You don't have to worry about me betraying you.

The way he looks at her when he says it, too; tries to make himself both nonthreatening to not invoke her ire or suspicion, yet aware enough to convey he can still competently complete his side of their agreement (along with a bit of pettiness, wanting to believe he has more control of the situation and not wanting to let it seem like she can pull a fast one on him. Knowing what's to come in less than 48 hours is heartbreaking), all while having the most subtle sad and tired tinge to his eyes and subdued grin to mask it.

(Because what if things were different for the two of them. For all of them.)

He already believes he's asking for so much, and yet…

(Chapter 181.1 | Chapter 93)

They're worth it.

#The Promised Neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #TPN #FSS Chatter #TPN S1 #TPN S1e07 #TPN Ray #Ray #Isabella #Norrayemma #Noremray #Full Score Trio #Emma #Norman #Isabella and Ray's Incredibly Fraught and Complicated Relationship Tag #TPN 181.1 #TPN 004 #TPN 093 #Pre-Canon #Introduction Arc #Escape Arc #Goldy Pond Battle Arc #just scrolling through all my drafts here waiting for food to cook like #god i might be tempted to make a REN moodboard edit with him and that caption in the center surrounded by Emma and Norman panels #just need one of him where you can't see his eyes but he's got a tiny smile on or smth #child thinking he's greedy for loving his friends and wanting them to survive a dystopic hell world m'boy's got all the issues 🖤🖤#but that fierce determination and loyalty to see this through #is what makes him being able to grow and see beyond said mindset all the more rewarding and endearing

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fullscoreshenanigans · 29 days

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Ray TPN

KLJDFKLVDK HIM THOUGH??

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fullscoreshenanigans · 1 year

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I’m never going to be over Ray and Emma both having visions of Norman when they both desperately needed the comfort of his presence.

I could have gone with manga panels for both of these for uniformity, but yet again CloverWorks takes advantage of the medium shift to add such beautiful nuance to (hallucination!)Norman and Ray’s exchange in the S1 finale—Norman speaking to Ray so, so gently in both the English and Japanese dubs with his final remark featured here, Ray being so overwhelmed by everything that’s happened in the past hour already and now topped with seeing one of the two people who was most important to him reappear, after he thought he’d never see him again, that he nearly cries at his words. I can’t express how much I adore the way they handled this scene.

By turning out to be a hallucination/dream as opposed to a ghost, we’re shown Norman’s departed spirit isn’t actually guiding them as its own independent entity with an agenda in another incorporeal form, but instead how they both internalized his character and personality and, most importantly, how they wished to see him again that manifested his appearance (see this post for further differences between their perspectives of him on this particular night).

Ray has spent over half of his life utterly loathing himself for the choices he made in order to save Emma and Norman. So much so he built up a bravado around the act of his self-immolation for years, resulting in the manic fervor he displays when giving his speech to Emma in the few minutes before the clock strikes midnight on his officially listed birthday (this is also fueled by his fraught relationship with Isabella, but that’s for other posts). He not only believes he deserves to die for his actions and perceived inaction, but that he should do so in a violent, agonizing way.

Ray knows Norman, knows his sense of rigid morality well enough to account for him discovering his alliance with Isabella and using that to his advantage, to further push Norman away so he’ll be more comfortable with using him (he even chides Norman for not keeping his original plan to do this a secret) and so his death will hurt him and Emma less. And for roughly the entire back half of October 2045, Norman did genuinely hate Ray for his betrayal in the same way he hated Isabella, his reaction so visceral at being deceived and hurt by people he had loved all his life. He would have been willing to sacrifice Ray if not for intervention from Emma, which opened him up to directly confronting Ray and, in turn, led him to discover Ray’s true motives. He was so humbled and taken aback by the depths of Ray’s love and loyalty he returned to his original categorization of him: a dear friend who needed to be saved from his intended fate in their cruel world. Even if saving him came at the cost of his own life; even if he desperately wanted to live.

One could argue Ray hallucinating Norman up on the wall was to assuage his own guilt at being unable to save him as he originally planned (something that, on his darker days, I think Ray himself would believe), but I prefer to view it as the final marker of his truly internalizing one of the deepest desires in his heart that he had locked away for so long. After living under that oppressive reality of dehumanization and exploitation and believing that there was nothing else for him, that this was all there was, that things would never get better and after everything he did up to that point, he didn’t deserve better, on top of Isabella throwing him completely off balance by shipping Norman out early and just being this incredibly conflicting and painful presence in his life, to have his siblings come together for this escape plan and without putting it explicitly in words convey “you’re worth saving, Ray, and we love you,” and that they gave him hope back

(Chapter 36)

it fucks me up something fierce.

Emma’s hallucination of Norman is much more brief during this time.

No words are exchanged, but none are necessary.

(Chapter 31)

After two and a half months of grappling with the real, palpable grief she felt at his death, seeing him around every corner and hearing his voice, and sublimating it into her efforts to ensure the success of the escape, she’s able to find solace in her vision of him before the wall.

(Chapter 119)

It’s why she sheds no tears for him until their reunion nearly two years later.

(TPN Light Novel 1: A Letter from Norman - “The Day Emma Cried”; translated by @1000sunnygo)

But up until that point, she repeatedly draws strength and comfort from his memory.

Even before chapter 93, she’s unconsciously reaching for him in her fevered dreams.

(Chapter 45 Side Scene)

Him and Isabella, predominantly in black due to her belief they’re dead, and Ray and the rest of the escapees who she hopes are still alive, predominately in white.

(Chapter 50)

Though she had to compromise on their original plan by only bringing along those over five at its outset, she’s committed to their end goal. She was the spark that pushed them to strive for the ideal outcome instead of settling for the safest one that would be tinged in regrets, and he gave up everything to facilitate it.

(Chapter 53)

The three-panel overview of her thought process ends on her final handshake with Norman. It’s painful enough for this man to be insulting her living family, but when her thoughts drift to the boy who had given his life so they would have a chance to live freely, who came to believe in all those things the man was disparaging, it’s the final straw that breaks her silence. She won’t stand and let her family be disregarded so casually or let Norman’s memory be desecrated like that.

(Chapter 64)

She eventually brings him up to Yuugo in an attempt to connect with him over lost friends, and her framing of it is interesting because while viewing Norman as having agency in making his choice (as much as they can have under the circumstances in that he went willingly, which isn’t much, but from her perspective as a traumatized child), she states simply that she let him go. (Shoutout to the way SKATES delivers said line in the manga dub. Wonderfully heartbreaking. </3)

(Chapter 30)

After she and Ray both knew how much he wanted to see the world beyond their walled existence and live on with them.

So when we get to chapter 93 where she’s on the brink of death, having visions of all the suffering experienced on the grounds of Goldy Pond before finding refuge and strength in visions of her family, the one who catches he when she begins to sink is Norman.

Unlike with the hallucinations at the end of the escape arc that were meant to obfuscate his fate, at this point we as an audience know he’s alive at Lambda, so this is all coming from the perception of Norman Emma holds deep within her heart. Even from beyond, even if it meant being separated from her longer, she sees him guiding her out of the unknown, murky depths so she can continue fighting to actualize their plan. (To say nothing of the way she imagines him delicately intertwining their fingers upon reaching her as the way he catches her. The association with safety and gentleness is always present and yet another valued refuge in light of the violence she’s in the middle of.)

Minor tangent to end on, but it’s interesting to me how when Emma brings up Norman’s name among people she misses, during the only time they privately mention him, Ray takes a beat to gather himself before focusing on what’s still obtainable in this life.

(Chapter 55)

There’s zero chance she blames him for Norman’s shipment, but he’s still not ready to look her in the eye and delve into it where they could potentially draw attention from others when he considers it a failure to his two most precious people after years of meticulous planning.

(Chapter 65)

But Norman’s still in his thoughts too as he adamantly refuses to fail Emma again.

(Chapter 93)

Though he comes very close.

(Chapter 123)

And he’s the one to remind Emma of how special their bond is when she’s having doubts about voicing her disagreement with Norman’s plan.

#The Promised Neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #TPN #Full Score Trio #TPN Emma #TPN Norman #TPN Ray #Norrayemma #Noremray #Norray #Noremma #Emma #Norman #Ray #TPN S1 #Goldy Pond Battle Arc #TPN 093 #Long Post #FSS Chatter #Escape Arc #TPN S1e11 #TPN S1e12 #Shirai can i give you $100 for a bonus scene of these two talking about how they both had visions of him #at some point during their search for the Seven Walls i refuse to believe it didn't happen B L S #also huh @ how the the two times the NE handshake is redrawn instead of copypasta'd like in Ch64 #Demizu making the correction of him going for a two-handed one if he's not holding his suitcase #reason no.55 they truncated S2: they knew people would've lost their shit at the NE dream sequence #thinking of all the little nuances they could've added to it in the way their eyes shown or their minute movements #with the ethereal and fantastical whimsy afforded by it being a dream and the gorgeous Obata track that would've accompanied it #they knew the world was not ready

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fullscoreshenanigans · 10 months

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Do you have an ao3 account?

I do! Same url as here.

The goal is to actually post something on it lol

I currently have three ideas that I feel are within the realm of my current writing capabilities for a one- or two-shot:

• Don and Gilda sharing a moment with each member of the full score trio pre-Cuvitidala timeskip. I'm still not a hundred percent sure what their moment with Norman would be, but for Emma it would be going over Norman's letter and finalizing their escape plan (with them asking is it really okay to leave Ray on his own until January), and for Ray it would be him approaching them after he returns from Goldy Pond but before Emma wakes up from her coma to apologize for not being all there after Norman was shipped out and to thank them for being there for their family when he couldn't be. • Memory Keeper Ray AU set during the search for the Seven Walls. • Mostly canon-compliant, Cuvitidala-era one/two-shot where Ray pushes Emma out of the way of a demon ambush (which may or may not have been necessary) during one of the times where they’re on the way back to the bunker that winds up with him getting sick. While not a repeat of "The Day Emma Cried" story from the first light novel since Ray isn't fatally ill like they believed Norman was that summer, she can't help but notice the similarities in the situation as she goes off to find a solution to help speed up his recovery. Meanwhile, Ray's fevered dreams drift to his mother and eventually the missing member of their trio. This story was born from the desire of wanting RE to discuss Emma's dream from chapter 93 and as part of a set-up for endgame REN that leaves them off at a reasonable place for where I see them on that front: Emma always unconsciously gravitating and finding solace with the boys but not understanding the totality of those feelings (because Emma loves all of her family dearly; it's an immutable truth of the universe. So what makes them different) so there's some secrets unwittingly being kept on her side of things. Ray, in contrast, accepted that he loved Emma and Norman long ago, back when he first locked up his heart in order to maintain the mental fortitude needed to carry out his escape plan. While he also doesn't comprehend the full magnitude of those feelings (though this is a very poignant declaration),

he can consciously put a name to them, but he's intentionally holding back for a variety of reasons on this front (not wanting it to seem like there's an expectation of reciprocity, still dealing with the grief of Norman's apparent death, but the big one being they're still trying to find a way out of the demon world) and wrestling with the idea of revealing his connection to Isabella, what that connection says about him given the choices he's made, and potentially hearing someone else say things he's been telling himself for years.

#sorry for the tangent anon when your question was answered within the first six words kdjfs #have such a backlog of fics i need to properly comment on too gah </3 #FSS Chatter #FSS Asks #TPN Fanfic #Long Post #i do have a 2.2k outline for the last one but that doesn't really translate to a resonant read #with how i'm stuck in a script mindset for the dream sequences instead of in a fic one </3 #need to just power through thinking the execution is uninspired so that there's at least something uninspired to improve upon lol #Norrayemma #Noremray #yeah i'll throw that in the ship tags why not #by default i operate with a REN and Gildayshe endgame mindset unless otherwise stated #TPN S1 #Escape Arc #TPN 034 #TPN S1e11 #Goldy Pond Battle Arc #TPN 093 #Cuvitidala Arc #TPN 096 #me with my speedrun cheat of having Ray injured or sick to facilitate my indulgences of him opening up #just because with everything else going on I have a hard time seeing him do that regarding multiple topics unless prompted by this #or an outside antagonistic force lol

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