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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

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She’s Baby - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Cursing, fluff, crack

Summary: On a mission, Y/N gets hit with a quirk. Basically, she returns back to being a baby. And obviously, her boyfriend is left to take care of her.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: Y/N has the Cheshire quirk I mentioned in another post. The main thing you’ll need to know is that she can teleport and she can shape shift into any feline creature.

“......What am I looking at right now?”

Bakugou stared down at the small child being held by Kirishima. She oddly resembled his own girlfriend, with the same E/C eyes and H/C hair. Kirishima stood nervously as he let out a chuckle while sweat dripped down his face.

“Uhh..this is your girlfriend Bakugou. Some things happened on the job with Fat Gum and now Y/N’s a baby,” Kirishima explained. It took a second to process but once Bakugou finally got it, he started cackling. He bursted out laughing with tears streaming down his face. He went to pull out his phone and took a picture of your baby form, which was currently chewing on her foot through her pink onesie.

“Hehe, cute.” He whispered to himself as he looked at the photo.

“Ehem, anyways. Considering you’re in a relationship with Y/N, we decided to have you be her caretaker until she returns back to normal, which should be in just a few hours.” At his teacher’s words, Bakugou’s eyes popped.

“What?! Do I look like some damn babysitter to you?!” The blonde screamed.

“No, you look like her boyfriend. So man up and deal with her!” Kirishima said as he shoved you into your boyfriend’s arms and shut his dorm room door. Bakugou grunted and sighed before he looked down at baby you in his arms, he softly smiled down at your cute form that was cooing at him and reaching for his face.

“If our future kids look anything like you, they’re gonna be cute as fuck.” He said as he tickled your tummy.

—

After a few hours of having baby Y/N in his dorm room, Bakugou thought it’d be a good idea to get you both some food. A healthy meal made by the Japanese Gordon Ramsey himself should suffice.

Bakugou walked out of his room with you, not in his arms, but you standing on his shoulder, tugging on his blonde locks. Your baby form apparently loved high perches, which made sense due to your quirk being cat-related. As the two of you made it to the common rooms, the students of class 1-A took notice of the oh-so casual Bakugou that held a baby-you atop of his head.

“Uhh, Bakugou? You have a baby on your head.” Kaminari mentioned from the couch.

“I’m aware, Dunce Face.” Bakugou said as he entered the kitchen. “It’s just Y/N. She got hit with a quirk and now she’s like this.”

“Ohh, she’s so cute!” Mina said as she walked up to you two and took you away from Bakugou.

“Hey! Give her back!” Bakugou said as he reached for you. Mina moved back to dodge his attempt and succeeded.

“No! I wanna hold her! You’ve been with her all day!” Mina argued.

“Because Mr. Aizawa told me I had to take care of her!” Bakugou replied.

“Well if you don’t want to then I’ll happily do it!” Mina said.

“No! She’s my girlfriend so give her back!” Bakugou said, finally successfully getting a hold on you.

“She’s my best friend so let me have her!” Mina said as she jumped on Bakugou. Unfortunately, they both fell to the floor and landed next to each other on their backs. As he fell, you flew out of Bakugou’s grip and everybody looked to your falling baby form and gasped. “Oh no!”

Before you landed, your body teleported next to Bakugou. Your boyfriend looked at you in shock before grabbing onto you. “Shit! You scared me, Y/N.”

“Woah! She can still use her quirk?” Sero said as he walked to you three.

“I guess,” Bakugou replied.

“You guess?!” Mina said. “So she could’ve fallen and you weren’t gonna do a thing about it?!”

“It all happened so fast, okay?! And besides, I didn’t see your dumbass doing anything!” He argued as he held you against his chest.

“Because I was on the floor!” Mina argued.

“And that was your fucking fault!” The blonde said before he got up. He perched you on his hip as he grabbed ingredients to make a simple dish. He began cooking while still holding onto you and while some students offered to hold you so that he could focus on the meal, he only growled at everyone’s attempt to take you away from him. He refused to let anyone but him hold you after that almost falling fiasco.

—

Finally, it was time to feed you! Unfortunately everything Bakugou made wasn’t to your liking. Udon? No. Tamago Sushi? No. Curry? No. Oyakodon? Nope! Eventually he gave up and brought you to the supermarket so you could pick out some baby food. While you looked for food, your boyfriend couldn’t help but notice the stares he was getting.

‘These damn idiots must think I’m her daddy or something....well in a way I guess they’re right,’ the hormonal teen joked to himself ‘but I’m not no damn teen father!’ Bakugou went back to searching for something for you to eat and gagged as he looked at all the jars of mush.

‘Peas and Carrots. Spinach. Chicken and Rice. Gross. Who would feed a baby this shit?’ He thought. He held you in his arms as he watched you reach for a red-ish, pink paste in a jar. You smiled as you held it up to him while he read the label. “Dragonfruit and Chia Seeds..doesn’t sound half bad. Alright brat, let’s go,”

—

Back at the dorms, Bakugou set you in the common room couch. He would’ve put you in the kitchen, but there were no booster seats and that put you at a safety risk. The couch was the next best thing. Low to the ground, soft cushions, and you would have a carpeted fall if an instance were to happen.

While you got comfy on the couch, Bakugou took a seat infront of you on the coffee table. He pulled out the small jar of food along with a baby spoon and that’s when his group of friends walked in.

“Hey man! Whatchu’ doing with lil Y/N?” Kirishima asked as he hunched over the couch to allow you to play with his hands.

“Just feeding the brat,” Bakugou said as he opened the jar. “C’mon Teddy Bear, you gotta eat.”

Kaminari snickered at the pet name. “You’re still calling her ‘Teddy Bear?’”

“Yeah? She’s still my girlfriend dunce face!” The ash blonde said waving the spoon around. “She’s just, in a different body.”

“Yeah, a baby body,” Mina teased with a laugh. The Bakusquad (minus Bakugou) all laughed with her.

“Well at least I’m not calling her ‘babe’ or anything like that!” He reacted fiercely. “Whatever, Y/N, just eat the food.”

You looked at the spoonful of mush that your boyfriend was offering you and after staring at it for a hot minute, you smacked it out of your face. The scoop of food landed against the wall making a splat sound. The group of teens all looked at you in shock as you just laughed and clapped your hands together in excitement.

Bakugou was getting irked as he knew what was coming. But there’s no way, right? This kind of stuff only happened in TV. Right?

—

He was wrong. The jar was empty, but Y/N wasn’t full of any food. She had flung spoonfuls of dragonfruit on the walls, the ceiling, the floors, and the Bakusquad. You were the only thing in the room that was clean. The group of friends all stood covered in pinkish blotches as they circled you. They now all had a spoon that held the last bits of food. They were going to feed you. No matter what it took.

“Go!” Sero screamed and the friends all jumped into action. Kirishima dove in first but you teleported out of the way. He spilled his spoon as he hit the ground. When you reappeared, you looked to your left and saw Kaminari standing there. He smirked down at you with a crazed grin and when he tried to grab you, you transformed into a little kitten and knocked the spoon out of his hand, dropping its contents. You transformed back into your baby state and there, you met Sero. Not because he was standing there, but because the mad man was swinging with his tape trying to get to you. You once again teleported and he crashed into the wall, obviously getting the small amount of food on there as well. You stood on the kitchen island and Mina popped up behind you and got a hold on you. She successfully got the food into your mouth and smiled at the sight. She held you up in victory and the squad all cheered. Unfortunately, as Mina brought you closer to her face level, she looked at you and you spit the food right back into her face.

“Ah!” She screamed at the feeling of having baby mush in her eyes and dropped you. You teleported again and stood on the coffee table. There, Bakugou gently picked you up in his arms and cradled you. You fussed but he held the spoon in front of you and begged you to eat.

“Please Y/N. Just eat the damn mush.” He softly spoke. You looked up to your boyfriend who stared down at you with pleading eyes and you kindly took the spoon into your mouth, swallowing the food. The squad cheered again while Bakugou contently sighed in relief. He pecked your forehead before putting the spoon in the sink. “Hey Pinkie, mind giving Y/N a bath while I clean the place up?”

“Why me?” Mina asked, wiping her face.

“Because you’re both girls?” Bakugou said, looking at her as if she was dumb.

“So? You’re her boyfriend. Are we gonna act like you haven’t seen Y/N naked yet?” Mina said, smirking at the blushing blonde with a hand on her hip.

“S-Shut up! And this is different! I’m not looking at her bare baby body!” Bakugou complained while looking flustered with red cheeks.

“Fine, fine,” Mina said as she walked to Bakugou, taking you from him. You whined at the loss of touch from Bakugou and reached out for him with sad eyes and grabby hands. He smiled down at you and played with your baby hands.

“Relax you damn brat,” he said with a soft smile, “it’s just for a little bit. Okay?” He asked and you cooed at him, almost as if you were telling him you understood. He kissed your forehead before going off to clean the room while Mina walked away with you to give you a bath.

—

Mina returned with a clean baby in new clothes that she had Momo made. She gave you back to Katsuki who was waiting for you on the now clean couch. Once you were in Katsuki’s hold, you giggled and reached for his face. He smiled and leaned forward to allow you to squish his cheeks, just like how you would if you weren’t a baby.

“Yup, you’re definitely Y/N.” He chuckled before giving you another forehead kiss. The Bakusquad all sat with him again and watched their friend interact with the mini you. Kaminari was sitting next to Bakugou and kept trying to play with you, and you definitely enjoyed the electric blonde’s entertainment.

“Hewo there my baby waby~” Denki cooed in baby talk as he tickled your chin. “Our lil coco-moco-chucka-wucka-OW!” You bit his finger. The squad all laughed at the sight and even the bitten blonde chuckled before petting your baby head...in hesitation of course. Bakugou laughed before bouncing you in his arms to get more comfortable. He leaned back on the couch and you crawled up to his upper chest and got comfy. He held a hand below you to make sure you didn’t fall as he smiled in content. It was an adorable sight, truly.

“You know man, you’d make a pretty good dad.” His best friend said. Bakugou looked towards Kirishima with a weird face.

“Ugh, Shitty Hair, this is my girlfriend, not my daughter.” He said, rubbing your tiny back.

“Yeah we know, but the way you interact with her baby form, you’d make a great father!” Mina said. “And plus, we all see how Y/N is around children. Kids love her. You guys would be really good parents.”

The thought of you and him being parents put a blush on his face. You, him, a mini Y/N and a mini Katsuki. A dog with a big yard in the back of a big house once you guys are big shot pros. Sounds like a dream to Katsuki. He snapped out of his daydream once his friends all awed at him for blushing and smiling as it was obvious to what he was thinking.

“Shut up you idiots! We’re going to bed!” The ash blonde said before getting up and carrying you back to his room. He placed you down on the bed before turning around to get some sleeping clothes for himself. As his back was turned, a white glow went on behind him and when he turned back around, he saw you in your normal form, naked under his blankets.

“Uh, Suki? You mind?” You asked with a little giggle. He smiled at you before handing you a big tee and a pair of his compression shorts. You put that on and once again got comfy under the sheets. Bakugou got dressed for bed and joined you by jumping into the sheets.

He covered you in kisses and you giggled at his touch. “I missed you baby.”

Man did it feel good for Katsuki to call you that again and not have it be weird. “I wish I could say the same but it feels like I just saw you before I left for the job.”

“Well, you were with me the whole day. I guess that quirk just puts your brain on pause for a bit while you’re in baby form so it makes sense that the last thing you remember is the battle.” He said.

“I still can’t believe I was a baby. Bleh. Tell me about it!” You giggled. He laughed with you in his arms.

“Uh, I don’t fucking know. You were a cute kid.” He mentioned.

“Were? Baby, I’m still cute.” You said with sass and flipped your hair, he laughed at you again and kissed your cheek in agreement.

“Yeah, you are. But baby-you was really adorable. You almost fell but surprisingly your quirk still worked and you knew how to control it so you were safe.” He told you, but you pushed his chest away to look at his face.

“You almost dropped me?! Katsuki!” You yelled at your boyfriend.

“I know! I know! But, you didn’t fall!” He replied. You only huffed and sighed before having him continue,

“Anyways. Then I had to feed you but your picky ass wouldn’t take anything I made. Which is weird because you love my cooking. Mini you just wanted to be a pain in the ass.” He said ruffling your hair. “So I took you to the store and everyone there thought I was some teen fucking dad or some shit!”

“Wow Katsuki~ I didn’t know you had kids. Who’s the mom?” You teased.

“Shut up, dumbass.” He said with an eye roll, “besides, if I were to have a kid with anyone, it has to be you. I’m not putting a kid in anybody else. I refuse.”

That made you giggle and you felt the heat rush to your face. “Same here Katsuki. I don’t want anyone else but you.”

A comforting silence came over the two of you as you remained cuddled in his arms. A few minutes of silence and Katsuki finally asked his burning question. “Um...how would you feel..about growing up with me? And getting married. And-..I don’t know, kids?”

His breath got stuck in his throat as he waited for your answer. You looked up at him with a sweet face before giving him a loving smile and peck on the cheek. “I only want my future to be with you, Katsuki.”

He smiled again and kissed your lips. “Same here, Teddy Bear.”

A/N: Horrible ending but..whateva i guess :/

Taglist: @sxcker4you @aomi04

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dienamights · 3 years

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A Reverberate Lullaby | K.Bakugou

✎ The echoing howls stalk you, a ghost hunched on your shoulders, wailing like a child calling for rescue, who cries with no tears. Chanting for a hero that is willing to pick up the pieces of its soul and being, yet it is only left to wither. For the ghost has lost faith that such others exist and can only be cured by finding them, for you are the ghost of your world and love is the only true exorcist.

✎ Protagonists: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.

✎ Word count: 4.1K

✎ Category: hurt/comfort, Implied Mature Content MDNI, Prohero!au, Established relationship!au

✎ Caution(!): Implied Mature Content MDNI, mention of depressive state, toxic family, toxic coping mechanism, mention of reader’s weight gain and thoughts about self worth. Please keep in mind while every person’s reaction to depression is different, don’t belittle anyone’s battle when you don’t understand it.

✎ Author’s notes: Hello! Hope everyone’s taking care! Still on hiatus BUT I’m here to post my contribution to the Mental Health Awareness collab by @doinmybesthere ! This has been in the works for a while because I kept scarping ideas for triggering me lmao. This piece is very personal to me and I’m glad I am able to share my experience with you all, I hope that it might help anyone out there in reaching out and asking for help because I know how difficult and scary it might be! Please check out everyone’s contribution that they worked so hard for! kisses kisses take care!

OOH ALSO! Thank you so much for 900 followers aaaaaah! You’re all so amazing and if anyone has suggestions for an event to hold in June lemme know! I’ll also think of some ideas

» Masterlist | Requests | Taglist

The morning sun barely rises and peaks through your blinds, sunshine starting to kiss at your cheeks as you squint at the light, the room welcoming the warmth that is being brought into it after the evening’s chill that made you curl tighter in on yourself, clasping whatever heat you could muster than to turn around and find it in the heating pad of a body that lays next to you.

An alarm only just rings before quickly being shut off, followed by the creaking of the bed when the person behind you shifts, shifts again, another time, before getting up and stalking to the bathroom, after letting an elongated sigh when they sit at the edge of the bed, not acknowledging your presence accompanying theirs. The door clicking closed before the trickling of water fills the quiet room.

Your clock reads 5 am when you squint at it, and you blink at the time before you go on with your routine, setting up breakfast while your boyfriend gets ready to go to work.

Oddly enough, you don’t really quite remember when you started working on the food, all that you could see in front of you is nothing but a scene that looks like it’s out of a broken TV - there’s just so much static. The voices are distorted, as if they’re coming from a defective radio.

“Listen, this ain’t about me, this is about you and how you-”

“What about me? Huh? That you see me as nothing but a burden? No, you can say it-”

“You wanna hear me fuckin’ say it then fine! This is about you sitting on yer ass all day obsessing over her while she wouldn’ give you the time of day y/n. When will you fuckin’ realize that?”

The scene blurs and sways, and you feel your mind run at a speed you didn’t know it could muster, and you’re unable to keep up with it. The knife in your hand shakes vigorously and barely misses your fingers when you bring it down to cut the vegetables.

The sound of the bedroom door shutting closed alerts you, straightening your back when you hear the drop of your boyfriend’s gauntlet by his chair at the dining table. Katsuki approaches you with careful steps, his still ungloved hand circles your waist before pressing his lips to your temple, a gruff greeting of a whisper laced in between.

“G’morning.”

The familiar scent of caramel mixed in with his aftershave welcomes you, wraps around you and cradles you, promising everlasting safety and happiness. Yet, your heart wrenching sobs and muffled crash of your laptop against your floor that rings in your ears tell a different story, shrieking at you, roaring about your failures, mocking your entire existence.

“Made gohan, should be ready in a minute.” you mumble back, posture stiff at the close proximity of Katsuki and you feel the curl of his lips in displeasure pressing into your temple from both not reciprocating his greeting and your choice of meal for the morning. “You don’ eat gohan,”

“s’why I’m making it.” The quick retreat from your figure is like a slap to your face, and you barely stop yourself from reaching out and forcing his arms back around you. Because it's the bite in his voice that halts your movement.

“You’re still going?” you finally turn to take a look at him, the garnets in his eyes shifting, bleeding from hurt, betrayal, confusion, you really weren’t sure. And by God you had no energy left to try and figure out. “Yes I’m still going Katsuki, they’re my-”

“Yer really listenin’ to the bullshit spillin’ outta ya? This isn’t about em being your family y/n, we’ve been through with it already.” the space between you two feels like endless miles, pieces of the broken bridge you both worked so hard to build the only evidence of it ever being there, the rest crumbling into the valley in between your bodies.

“No, you’ve been through with it, I just wanna make things right, m-maybe I can fix it”

“It ain’t yours to fix y/n, when will you realize that?”

“No!” there you go again, sobbing pathetically. “W-why can’t I have a family, huh? Why- why can’t I, fuck, have a family that just loves and supports me a-and just doesn’t- ” your voice croaks, not failing to notice how Katsuki stepped away from the wreck in front of him. Probably having had enough of you, had enough of how troubling and bothersome you are, probably wondering how he got roped with all your shit and got dragged into your mess of a life.

His hands feel like scolding fire when they’re placed on your shoulders, halting their shaking as you cry into the palm of your hand to muffle the sobs, a habit Katsuki has been working so hard on to help you overcome, saddened to see you try and hide your vulnerability from him.

“Because they never made an effort, so why should you?” The tugging at your heart burns, the swallowed sobs feel like needles prickling at your lungs, making breathing feel like an impossible chore. You can’t help but feel restrained whenever you’re presented with the truth, especially unfiltered and unsugarcoated like right now, you know he’s right, you’ve known he was right a long time ago, but admitting it out loud just felt borderline impossible.

So you do what you do best, push him away, all the strength you can muster barely budges his figure, the meal forgotten on the counter as you run and lock the bedroom door on yourself.

Your footsteps feel heavy, dreading the topics and scenes you’re bound to relive. The grip on the strap of your shoulder bag tightening as you push the glass door open. A sigh escapes past your lips again as you enter the restaurant, half-heartedly smiling at the hostess before making your way inside to look for them.

It’s always the same scenery, the kind that always makes you want to run away to the other direction instead of being dragged down into whatever hell this is. And you pause to question yourself, again, why you actually agreed to put yourself out there.

There they are, seated in the four person table, with two empty seats, one for yourself and the other for the sibling your mother always hoped to have instead of you.

Your mother’s pursed lip could be seen from where you stand at the entrance, the clicking of her tapping foot sounding as bad as grinding metals in your ear, you hate it, despise it

It’s the same clicking you learned to memorize, to anticipate, to fear, when she passed by your room, the clicking that made you smother your face in your pillows and swallow your sobs, because the sound of you crying brought her more distress and annoyance than concern for her daughter.

With another tug at the hem of the shirt you’re wearing, you approach the table, hugging your father when he stands up and nodding to your mom when she eyes your figure.

“Good morning mother. It’s good to see you.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

Here we go, you breathe out before tugging at a strand of hair, spitting out your words “nothing’s wrong with it.”

“Then why does it look awful like that?”

There are times like these where you are left to question your reasoning for accepting whatever invitation you received from your parents to have brunch with them after all those months, a moment of weakness deceiving you into believing it was better than to spend it in your empty apartment, with the silence that ate away at your sanity every second. The only evidence of life in it other than yours was the recently cleaned dishes and the note thanking you for the meal, the promise of cuddles and movies tonight making you gain just a little more patience, barely.

You refrain from answering, your response is to lower your head, drag the dining chair before plopping on it, a dreary sigh escaping your lips as you scoot your chair closer to the table. Your mother never changes, it’s been a while since you were able to move out of her home, and while your father tries to tell you that these brunches are a way to reconnect with them, you yourself know that it’s merely a chance for your mother to nitpick at everything you ever did or are doing since you left.

“How have you been y/n.” your father smiles at you, both of you ignoring the sound of your mother kissing her teeth when her attempted jab at you is ignored. “Uh, I uh I’ve been good, I just wrapped up with my exams and so far things have been-”

“How is your hero boyfriend?”

For a second, you contemplate whether to ignore her question and keep conversing with your dad, dreading the questions that are to be pushed your way regarding Katsuki, of which will be used as bragging material for when she meets whatever group of friends she associates herself with, but you know better than to ignore her with the way she gets when she isn’t fed with attention.

“He’s uh, good.”

“Why isn’t he here today? What, too good to meet us?” your mother nags, and for the love of God, would that fucking clicking ever stop?

“No, he’s doing his job of, you know, being a hero.”

“Is he now? Well, what about you, hm?” She cocks her head as her nails tap the table. ”Did you think your father and I wouldn’t figure out you got fired?”

“How-” the gritting of your teeth is deafening at this point, your jaw clenching so tightly as you and your mother stare each other down. “Your dad pulled some strings, it isn’t that hard. So tell me, you like leeching off of him after you were done with us?”

“This isn’t, I just- I was- I, I had a lot of university work piling up a-and I couldn’t make time for my shifts and I just, it was just so hard for me to get out of bed these days and I.” why are you doing this? Why are you explaining yourself to people that don’t deserve it? Why are you feeding off of their acceptance, knowing damn well you never got it, and that thing was never gonna change.

“Oh, I don’t wanna hear about you not getting out of bed, you’re here now aren’t you? This is all in your head y/n. You need to stop talking nonsense, what’re people gonna say about you, about me, when they hear you?”

It feels just like yesterday, your figure standing and facing your full length mirror, your reflection eyeing you with identical vacant eyes. Fingers running through your bed head, a wince escaping you at the movement. Bringing your hand up and catching a glimpse of a slight swollen purple bruise along your wrist and the dried blood on your knuckles, the skin stretching upon rotating your wrist and causing notable pain.

Alas, that pain paled in comparison to when your mom barged into your room, blaming you for the way you were acting and belittling your reasoning. Beckoning your father over to replace your broken vanity and for your house maid to disinfect the space, the place sparkling clean and void of any evidence of what had transpired the day prior.

The shattered glass was picked up and thrown out, the splatters of blood were wiped clean, and whenever you brought up, what your mom refers to as ‘the temper tantrum’, you’re ignored by both your parents as they continued about their day, fearing the shame it would bring upon their name if the event was to catch others’ attention.

“Good morning! I’ll be your server for the day. What can I get you?” the foreign voice sounds more comforting than your own mother’s, and you almost laugh at the irony of it, but you only return her smile and take a look at the menu. Lighting up a smidge at the name of one of the dishes, while your parents place their order.

“Can I please get the soufflé pancake?” you look up to catch the horrified look on your mother’s face, followed by her clicking her tongue and shaking her head as if your choice of food was shameful.

“Certainly-”

“Uh, no she won’t be having that. Get her the Honzen Ryori,” your mother eyed your figure -whatever was visible to her from across the table- before turning to face the server again “maybe cut down on the rice, God knows she doesn’t need the extra calories.” and waves her off, disregarding your protests and tapping her nail against the table top, her annoying method in demanding your silence, which you subconsciously react to, snapping your mouth shut when the sound reaches your ears.

“What was that for? You know I like having sweet breakfasts,” was fuming even close to what you are feeling? Probably not. “Yes I can clearly see that, you’ve let yourself go as well. Do you think that boyfriend of yours will stick around when you start putting on even more weight?”

At a loss for words, you turn to your father, who has been quiet this whole time, for any sense of support when it comes to his wife. But the way he presses his lips together tells you all you need to know, how just because he isn’t bad as her, doesn’t make him that great of a parent. That standing by while you have been bullied your entire childhood and well into your adulthood is just as bad as being the cause of it.

“God forbid he realizes how much of a train wreck you really are and throws you on the side of the street, because you know damn well we won’t be here to pick you up.”

It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful -well, as beautiful as it can be with the kind of day you’re having- and the sky was like a dome of plasma-blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils drifting under the gleaming disc of sun. People quickened their pace as the clouds began to gather in the sky. The postcard-perfect sky started changing. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade merged in with the flaming orange and mesmerizing purple as the sun sunk deep into the horizon, before beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud start to form, blocking out the old-gold color of the sun.

The first splatter of rain hits you when you’re halfway across the street, dismissing the need to take shelter under the roof of the buildings like some passersby are doing, hoping to see out the shower. Droplets of moisture begin to drip onto your head, sprinkling onto you like a gardener’s hose. It was well after your meal with your parents, and you had spent the last few hours walking aimlessly through the streets, making sure to avoid those covered by your boyfriend during his patrol. Hoping, praying, that something will clear your head, will help your poor jumbled mess of a mind forget about this entire nightmare of a day.

Should’ve listened to him

The rainfall intensifies, the drops drumming against the hood of the cars that you pass by, there is so much rain that the sound blurs into one long, whirring noise, reminding you of the blades of the fan that you stuck your finger in, that one time when you were left alone in your house when you were only five years of age. Eventually, they fade into a musical chime as you push your drenched hair away from your face and feel the vibration from your phone as it rings the ninth, maybe tenth time.

He told me so.

Tall apartment complex building; you couldn’t see its end from where you stand. You shiver as you approach it, the doorman - bless his heart - running and placing his umbrella to futilely shield you from the rain, and you just laugh and tell him that you’re already drenched and just waiting to go back home.

God forbid he realizes how much of train wreck I am

Not wanting to dampen the people at the elevator and make them uncomfortable, you take the stairs up to your shared apartment, you usually don't mind the exercise but with how heavy you feel after the rain and day spent up on your sore feet, all you think about is locking yourself in your room and discover what kind of new façade could you try and fool Katsuki with when he reaches home.

Just how I trick him into thinking I’m not with him to leech off of him

Eventually and with a struggle, you make it to the door, dreading the sight you might come to face, almost hoping for a black hole to emerge and swallow you whole.

What would people say about me? Do people think I’m crazy?

With a forced exhale out of your lungs, you fetch the key from your bag to unlock the door, but it’s wrenched open before you have a chance to insert your key.

“Where the hell have you been?”

Your eyes meet the beautiful rubies of Katsuki, and despite his anger that always overcompensates his worry, you smile and throw yourself on him. The shivering ceasing when he wraps his warm arms around you and that loving caramel scent engulfs you, in spite of how your hair is drenching his shirt and how you sniff against his neck.

“You need a shower, you’re shivering.”

“Take one with me?” you look up at him through your lashes, and he blinks at your uncharacterized boldness but agrees nonetheless, helping you out of your clothes and turning on the hot water before stepping in with you.

It is a struggle to help you clean up when all you do is grab at him, whether they’re your hands on his shoulders to lower him to kiss you, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your breasts against him, or palming his hardening cock as the poor man tries to shampoo your hair.

“Would ya knock it off? I’m tryna help you here shitty woman” you frown and squint your eyes when the shampoo gets close to them. “I wanna have sex.”

“Yea I can fuckin tell, just lemme-” you bring his arms down and press his palms to your boobs, letting go of his wrist when he starts squeezing at them. “Do you not want to?” he gulps, his dick twitching at the feeling of your soft mounds in his hands, your nipples covered up by the suds from the shampoo, as your finger traces the underside of his cock. “Yeah, I uh, fuck, I do, just- you need to wash up so you don’t get sick, alright?”

“Do you not think I’m pretty anymore?” you pout childishly, tears threatening to escape your eyes, and they burn as you close them when he washes the product out of your hair, a deep frown on his lips when you open your eyes back again. “The fuck you on about? That rain really fucked with ya?”

“Are you gonna get rid of me when you realize how much of a mess I am?” you whisper, your voice muffled under the sound of the shower above you, and you keep quiet as he helps you scrub your body, but your boyfriend is observant, he isn’t fucking dense.

“What do you want, right now?” he lowers himself to your level when he’s done, his hands stroking your cheeks as he eyes the way the water droplets cling to your lashes, but still not missing the red rimming around your eyes.

“I just wanna for- I uh, I wanna have sex.” you mumble, a plea hidden underneath your words, a plea to help you forget, to help you bury this day behind you and pretend it never happened.

What you don’t expect is the way that Katsuki pulls your naked wet body out of the bathroom and drops you on the bed, feeling your bodies dampening the bed as he hovers over you, no words are spoken between you as he kisses and nips at your skin. Marking it up and down as he all but worships your body, strands of his hair tangle between your fingers when you run your hands through it, arching your back at the feeling of his tongue tasting your slick.

He doesn’t let up until you cry out, and not in pleasure, your sobs far beyond those he loves to hear when he’s denying you an orgasm. No, they’re sobs that wreck your whole body, kicking away at his shoulders as you curl in on yourself and wail into the sheets. Sitting on his haunches on the floor, Katsuki’s eye soften at your figure, the way your shoulders are shaking and how -yet again- you’re trying to muffle your cries with the sheets this time, pressing your face against the mattress in an attempt to lower your noise, as your mother would call it.

“Hey, look at me” you feel his lips grazing your ear as he kisses it, pressing his lips against your temple, fingers unwrapping your fist against the sheet and digging into your hands and pressing kisses against the nail marks in the palm of your hands. “There she is, there’s my girl.” you hear when you lift your head from the bed, sight blurry from your shed tears but still easy to distinguish Katsuki even between billions of people.

You sniff when he kisses at your lids, groan when he chuckles and calls you ‘snot the naught’ when you wipe your nose with the back of your hand, beaming when he hears you let out one weak chuckle at the way he teases you. Still pressing his lips against any surface of skin he can reach.

“You don’t have to talk about it you know, to me at least” he mumbles to you when you’re both dressed in your sleepwear and are cuddling on the dry side of the bed, opting to change the sheet the next day. “Maybe, maybe we can get someone who can help you, you know.” you press your face deeper between his neck and shoulder, shuddering when his warm palms rub your back from under your shirt.

“I can make some calls, get in contact with someone.” you lift your head. “But I can’t afford-” he tuts and frowns at you “None of that.”

“Remember what I said when we agreed to move in?” you do, you just love the sound of his voice when he says it, feels like he’s making all these promises all over again. “Tell me.”

“Told ya I’d be whoever you want me to be, whoever you need me to be. I’ll be yer mom, even better than that bitch, I’ll support and love you unconditionally.” you sniff and tighten your hold against him as he presses his lips against your cheek.

“I’d be better than yer pussy dad, you can rely on me any time and I’ll live up to all your expectations. And callin me daddy is always a plus” he tangles his legs with your own when you wiggle away from him, laughing and giving you no chance of escape, not that you are even thinking of it.

“I’d even be yer genius fuckin nanny that taught you to tell yer mom to go fuck herself when you were four,” your suppressed giggles lights him up and he can’t help but chuckle as well. “I’ll be anything and everything you’ll ever need, baby. I’ll be your goddamn hero.”

The sun comes out again, casting slanted beams of light across the buildings. Steam rises slowly from the greenery. It rises up eerily and drifts mist-like towards the molten-gold sun, right before it escapes into the abyss. The image is so vivid that it stays with you for as long as you remember. Because on this exact day, the shrieking that follows you everywhere you go, haunting you and mocking you, suddenly is nowhere to be found. And all you can hear is the comforting sound of Katsuki as he hums you a lullaby to sleep.

aaaah I hope you like it!

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arvinsescape · 3 years

Text

Everything to me.

A/N: My longest writing yet and i am actually really proud of this! I really hope the length doesn’t put anyone off and I will appreciate any feedback and constructive criticism. I really hope you all enjoy, this took me a few days to complete but I’m happy with the finished product.

Summary: Y/N has insecurities as a young mother and they seem to get worse all of a sudden, Tom reminds her how much she means to him.

Warnings: Mentions of smoking, swearing, smut (fingering, Oral (F rec), soft sex) Minors do not engage. May have missed a few typos...

W/C: 11K... Said it was gonna be a long one!

You’d met Tom when you were both nineteen and in university, he was studying for a Business degree and you’d been studying English. You’d met in a bar on a night out and the rest appeared to be history, you were head over heels for each other and although neither one of you were the other’s first you believed you’d be each other’s last. You both graduated with first class honours degrees and that’s when everything changed for the two of you.

You both graduated in September and Tom had taken over his father’s business by October, although he was only twenty one at the time it was what he’d spent his educational years working towards. You on the other hand fell pregnant, Tom had been supportive throughout, stuck by you and although it was a shock to both of you, you couldn’t be happier and neither of you would change Liam for the world.

“Tom, I need to tell you something.” You said nervously biting your lip as he got into bed.

“What’s wrong darling?” He asked, brows furrowed with concern as he removed your bottom lip from between your teeth with his thumb. He knew it was a bad habit of yours. “Don’t do that baby, you’ll make your lip bleed.” He whispered as he kissed you softly.

“Something’s happened.” You said and he kissed your cheek as he moved you to rest your head on his chest, running a hand through your hair.

“What’s wrong? You can tell me you know. Whatever it is we’ll work it out.” He said as he continued to run a hand through your hair. You felt sick with nerves, what if he left you? His career was only just starting and a baby would hold that back, hold him back. You swallowed back tears at the thought of being left alone to bring up a child.

“I’m pregnant.” You whispered so quietly that even in the silent room Tom didn’t hear you.

“What?” Tom asked as he brought you to face him. “Sorry baby, I didn’t catch that.” He said again.

“I’m,” you said as you gulped and he placed a reassuring hand on your cheek, face full of concern for you. “I’m pregnant.” You said again as tears made their way down your face, Tom was quick to wipe them away.

“Seriously?” He asked, a grin finding its way to his face. “You are?” He asked again and you nodded. He pulled you into a bone crushing hug as he placed kisses all over the side of your face. You giggled slightly before pulling back, hands placed firmly on his chest.

“You’re not mad?” You asked and he smiled.

“Mad? No. Shocked, absolutely but I’m happy.” He said as he ran his thumb over your cheek and you smiled at him.

“But what about your career?” You asked and he laughed slightly.

“Baby, I’m taking over my father’s business, I’m sure he’s still gonna be around to help out, especially if he knows he’s getting a grandchild.” He said as he kissed your forehead and you relaxed all together.

“I love you so much Tom.” You said as you fell back into his chest and he wrapped his arms around you.

“I love you so much, I’m so happy that we’re gonna have a baby.” He said and you smiled.

“You’re not gonna leave me?” You voiced your insecurity, he might be happy now but what about in a few months when you’d gained weight and become moody?

“Baby, I would never leave you, you’re everything to me.”

He didn’t leave you, he stuck by you through all of it. All of the cravings and mood swings, insecurities, everything. You got married just before you started to show, Tom was going to ask before he found out you were pregnant and you couldn’t have been happier together, moving things along quickly. His dad stayed on to help out, overjoyed by the news he was going to be a grandad, he facilitated Tom being able to be there for you and also helped him keep the business on track. The birth was long and painful and Tom was there for every single hour of your labour, he wouldn’t leave you for a second, when Liam was born you both cried, it was truly beautiful. It was all working out really well, apart from the fact that you didn’t have a job and that played into some of your insecurities.

“Do you ever think I take advantage of you?” You suddenly said half way through your TV show. Liam had gone down much easier that evening, you knew it was because Tom had been home to help put him to bed. Liam loved Tom, sometimes Tom was the only one who could calm him when he was screaming at the top of his lungs.

“What?” Tom asked, brows furrowed as he paused the show, attention fully on you now.

“I just worry because I don’t have a job and you do.” You said as you nibbled your lip, his thumb instantly removing it from between your teeth, this was a habit for the two of you.

“Sweetheart, you’ve just had a baby. I admire what you’re doing here. I go to work and I leave you here to look after our son on your own. I don’t expect you to have a job right now, money isn’t an issue. I don’t want you to get a job and make yourself more tired, there’s no need for that. We’re lucky to be in the position that we are.” He said and you sniffled, wiping your nose with your hoody sleeve.

“Baby, if you want to get a job, I support that but please don’t get a job because you think I think any less of you for not having one. You’re doing an amazing job here, doing what you’re doing. You’re an amazing mum and I’m so proud of you. I love you okay? Nothing is going to change that. You’re my everything.” He said and your heart melted. Tom had never shied away from his feelings when it came to you, he was always honest.

“I just want whatever makes you happy, okay beautiful?” He said again and you smiled as you nodded. “No one thinks you’re taking advantage of me, everyone knows how hard you work at home, how much you’ve taken on the responsibility of being a mother.” He continued and you hugged him, holding him tight, he was a man you never wanted to let go of.

Once Liam was old enough to be left with yours or Tom’s parents you tried to get a job but didn’t have much luck and years later you were still stuck in the same position. Tom was supportive, reminded you through each rejection that it was okay, that you’d find something eventually but no one wanted to hire a young woman with a young child. Your hours needed to be too specific for their liking and nobody gave you a chance.

You loved Liam and you wouldn’t change him for the world but the pregnancy had left you with insecurities, you tried so hard to lose the baby weight and although you lost some, you never lost it all. It changed certain elements of yours and Tom’s relationship, you became embarrassed of your stretch marks and weight. It didn’t matter how many times Tom told you he couldn’t care less about it, that he loved you for you, it never made the insecurities go away.

You and Tom had just returned home after a much needed date night, you’d both gotten a little tipsy and found yourself almost falling through the front door as you giggled. Liam was at your parents for the night, leaving you and Tom to have a night for yourselves.

“Shit.” Tom said as he caught you, arm around your waist as you stumbled taking your heel off, causing a fit of giggles to erupt from both of you. He turned you in his embrace as he kissed you, lips pressed firmly to yours as he pulled you closer by your waist, you instantly melted into the kiss, hands finding his hair.

“I fucking love you.” Tom mumbled against your lips as you fell backwards onto the couch, Tom making sure not to press all of his weight against you as he laid on top of you.

“I love you too Tom.” You said as he reconnected your lips, the kiss growing heated within seconds, his hips grinding against your own as you let out a pleasurable sigh. “Can we move to the bedroom?” You asked, nerves suddenly getting the better of you. Since having Liam, you and Tom hadn’t had sex anywhere other than the bedroom and with the light off. Tom tried to reassure you that this wasn’t a necessity, that he still found you beautiful but you still insisted almost three years later.

Tom nodded slightly as he picked you up carrying you to the bedroom. You stuffed your face into his neck to hide the embarrassment on your cheeks, you wished it was different, that you had the confidence to have sex with him with the light on but every time you tried you became more embarrassed.

The sex became different over the three and a half years. It was all missionary and the adventurous streak you’d once had had seemingly vanished, you worried he’d become bored, that the sex you were having wasn’t satisfying enough but you couldn’t bring yourself to make a change. It led to a few arguments over the years, mostly instigated by you and your insecurities getting the better of you. The one you’d had last month changed things between you. You’re insecurities had been eating away at you more than usual recently, leaving you much moodier than usual.

“Y/N…” Tom sighed as you reached for the lamp to switch it off. “You’re beautiful, you know that right. I love you more than anything.” He said again.

“I know.” You said dismissively and he sighed again and it made you angry. “Tom, I don’t want to have sex with the light on is that such a big deal?” You snapped.

“Y/N, when are you going to let me show you how much I love you? I know your body changed when you had Liam but I don’t care, I love you, I still think you’re beautiful.”

“You’ve said already.” You snapped again and he sighed as he moved off you, standing from the bed as he put his shirt back on. “Where are you going?” You asked angrily.

“I need a breather.” He said as he fished around in his jacket pocket. “I can’t keep doing this Y/N/N. I can’t.” He said as he pulled his packet of cigarettes from his pocket, fishing around in the other for his lighter.

“Can’t keep doing what?” You snapped, you were letting your insecurities get the better of you.

“I can’t remember the last time I saw you naked. You lock the bathroom door when you bath or shower now. You won’t let me watch you change and you won’t have sex with me unless the light is off.” He pointed out.

“And?” You fired back angrily, he shook his head in response, pulling his lighter from his other pocket.

“We are married.” He pointed out again.

“So?”

“I can’t keep having this conversation. We’ve done it for years. I’ve told you why it’s important. I love you I really do but things aren’t the same anymore and you know it.” He said and your anger flared.

“So what the way we have sex is the be all and end all of our marriage?” You snapped, you knew after the countless conversations you’d had that this wasn’t the case but you were letting your insecurities take over. Putting words into his mouth, you knew he was right, he wasn’t just talking about the sex.

“I can’t keep fucking doing this.” He said as he made his way out of the bedroom and down the stairs, an angry you in tow. Voices low as not to wake your three year old.

“Then why are you still with me?” You said angrily and he huffed as he made his way into the back garden.

“Because I love you, I really fucking do but our relationship isn’t the same anymore.” He said as he lit his cigarette, inhaling sharply.

“Sure it’s not just because we have a kid?” You fired back and there it was. Your biggest insecurity. He looked at you, shocked expression evident on his face.

“No that’s not why. Why are you so angry at the minute?” He said as he inhaled another drag of his cigarette.

“Fuck off Tom.” You snapped as you went back inside and up to bed. You weren’t sure why you were so angry with him all of a sudden, your emotions getting the better of you.

Things changed after that, you’d not had sex in that time and you’d kicked him into the spare bedroom. Your conversations became limited and he tried to make things normal again but you closed yourself off, your emotions became harder to control and your insecurities were getting the better of you.

“Daddy!” Liam shouted, alerting you that your husband was home. You heard as his bag hit the floor and the playful giggles that followed as Tom greeted his son. You sighed, you missed him but you were still angry with him.

“Hi darling.” He said as he made his way into the kitchen where you were.

“Hi.” You mumbled back in response. There was an awkward tension between the two of you now, the years of a changed relationship had seemingly caught up with you both.

“How was your day?” He asked and you shrugged as he sighed. “I heard you throwing up this morning, are you okay?” He asked, face full of concern.

“Yeah, picked up whatever Liam brought home from nursery last week.” You said and he nodded. You’d never had awkwardness like this, it was horrible and you wished it wasn’t there, you knew you should apologise but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. “How was your day?” You decided to ask in return.

“It was busy, happy to be home.” He smiled sadly and you felt guilty, you loved him you really did but you couldn’t help the negative thoughts that were living in your head right now.

You missed the kiss you’d usually get and the hug after not seeing him all day, you missed being wrapped up in his strong arms as you both fell asleep.

“Mummy?” Liam’s voice dragged you from your thoughts.

“Yes sweetheart?” You smiled, he looked more and more like Tom every day, the only feature of yours he held were your eyes.

“What time is daddy home?” He asked, you looked at the clock, it was almost six, normally he’d be home around five fifteen. You bit your lip as your nerves grew, the metallic taste of your blood making its way to your tastebuds. You’d been doing it a lot recently, Tom always said this would happen; that you’d make your lip bleed from biting it so much and he was right.

“Soon love.” You answered, he’d been home late every night this week. Just as Liam was about to speak again Tom made his way through the door.

“Daddy!” Liam shouted as he ran at his dad, Tom instantly scooping him up with one arm.

“How are you doing little man?” Tom said as he kissed Liam’s cheek, free hand ruffling his curls. You watched from the couch, adoration clear on your face, he was an amazing father. He’d do anything for Liam. You missed him, missed being in his arms.

“I drew a picture today.” Liam said as Tom put him down and he made his way to his nursery bag, presumably fishing out the picture he’d drawn.

“Hi.” Tom said awkwardly and you smiled as he furrowed his brows, eyes trailing to your split lip. “You’ve been biting your lip.” He pointed out and you shrugged as he sighed. “Baby-“

“Daddy look.” Liam shouted, interrupting him, you made your way into the kitchen, Tom’s gaze following you, if you’d have turned around you’d have seen the longing look he was directing your way. He missed you, more than he could bare.

Tom looked at the picture his son had drawn, the whole family together and smiling. Tom longed for that, he wished you would see yourself the way he did, love yourself the way he did. Liam’s picture showed a happy family, everyone smiling and Tom found himself wishing it was a true reflection of what was happening between him and his wife at the moment but it wasn’t.

“I have a contract I’m finishing up, that’s why I was late.” Tom said as you boiled the kettle, making your bedtime tea, Liam had gone to bed a short while ago.

“Okay.” You answered and he huffed.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” He said and you turned to look at him. “I hate whatever this is that’s going on between us, I’m so sorry.” He said and you nodded as you sighed.

“I’m sorry too, my insecurities are getting the better of me and my emotions feel out of control at the minute.” You said and he nodded, standing, and making his way over to you.

“It’s okay. I miss you.” He said and you felt tears brim your eyes, you missed him too. “How about I look after Liam tomorrow night and you go and have some fun?” He said, he knew you’d not seen your friends in a while but this made you cry more.

“Thank you but I don’t think they’d want to.” You said and he furrowed his brows as he took you into his arms, you’d missed his scent.

“What do you mean?” He mumbled into your hair as he hugged you closer and tears slowly made their way down your face.

“Ever since Liam they’ve slowly drifted off, they don’t think I’m having the fun I should as a 25 year old.” You said and it was true, over the years more and more of your friends have lost contact with you due to the fact that you couldn’t go out with them like you used to.

“I’m sorry, how about I ask my mum and see if she’ll have him and I’ll take you out?” Tom was always conscious that you got days or evenings to yourself so you could have fun. You smiled slightly as you nodded. “I think we both need it darling.” He said and you knew he meant the two of you needed to spend some time together, especially after this last month.

“That sounds like a really good idea.” You said into his chest as he shot his mum a text. “I love you.” You said as you slightly wiped your tears on his shirt, he ran a hand through your hair and it comforted you, it always had done, he rested his chin on your head.

“I love you too. I need to go into the office tomorrow to finish up this contract, you can meet me there?” He asked as he got his reply from his mum, glad to accept the offer of having her grandson for the night.

You’d spent the entirety of the next day getting excited, it’d been a while since you’d been out and you looked at the clock as you got Liam’s things ready for the night.

“Now what do you do at grandmas?” You said as you helped Liam put his coat on.

“I do as I’m told even if she has different rules to mummy and daddy.” He said confidently. You and Tom had tried to instil the importance of respecting other people and their homes and items from a young age.

“That’s right.” You said and Liam smiled proudly at remembering the mantra you and Tom had set.

“Mummy, will I get to see daddy today?” He asked and you frowned slightly as you ran a hand through his curls, trying to tame them.

“No darling, daddy’s had to work and then we’re going out but you’ll see him tomorrow.” You said and he pouted.

“Can we go and see him before I go?” He asked and he had those same puppy dog eyes his father had managed to master. You laughed as you nodded, sending Nikki a text to explain you’d be a little later than planned.

Once you pulled up to Tom’s office building you heard Liam gasp, he always did when he saw the large building his dad worked in. You laughed again as you got him out of the car, saying hi to one of the security guards who let you straight in.

“Remember you have to behave here my love, this is daddy’s work.” You said as you watched Liam get more and more excited in the lift, you knew it was falling on deaf ears. He always got excited when he came to Tom’s office, he loved the chair Tom had because he could spin around in it. The lift doors opened and Liam almost bolted out of the lift and straight into the arms of Linda.

Linda was an elderly receptionist that had worked for the company for years, she was lovely and she absolutely adored Liam.

“Linda!” Liam giggled as she bent down to hug him, you smiled at the interaction.

“Hello Liam.” She said as she looked at you with a comforting smile. “Hello Y/N. Feels like a lifetime since I’ve seen you here.” She smiled, it had been a while, probably six months. “You look beautiful.” She said and you blushed slightly.

You were wearing sweats and one of Tom’s old t shirts, no makeup and your hair had been messily shoved up. You doubted you looked your best.

“Where’s daddy?” Liam asked as he looked around the room for his dad.

“He’s in his office my love.” Linda said and you both watched as Liam bolted towards the closed door, laughing as he did.

“Excuse me, you can’t go in there.” You heard a harsh voice as you followed Liam further into the office space, Linda huffed lightly at the voice. “Where’s your parents.” You heard again and you made your way towards the interaction. As soon as you saw her you heart dropped and you suddenly became more aware of how you looked.

A beautiful woman was sat at the secretaries desk, hair done perfectly, slim figure and beautifully done makeup. Tom hadn’t mentioned he’d hired someone new, you suddenly felt more insecure than you had in a while.

“I’m sorry, he’s mine.” You said as Liam gripped your leg, hugging you tightly, he thought he was in trouble. The woman scoffed.

“Did you have some sort of appointment, Mr Holland is extremely busy.” She almost snapped.

“Well no but Liam wanted to see him. I’m his wife.” You said and she looked you up and down, you felt insecure under her stare.

“Mr Holland is busy as I’ve said.” She snapped again and before you could open your mouth Linda spoke up.

“Gina, he won’t mind, he never does. Let them in.” She said and you felt grateful for her.

“I’ll call him and make sure it’s okay.” She said and she continued to eye you as she picked the phone up. “Mr Holland, there’s a woman here with a young boy, claiming to be your wife.” She said and your eyebrows shot up at her rudeness. Before you could say anything his office door opened.

“Hello darling.” He said as he picked Liam up. “Little man.” He said as Liam laughed loudly, you watched as Gina stared at your husband, clearly infatuated with him, then again who wouldn’t be? Liam wriggled to get out of his embrace, disappearing into his office and you knew you’d find him in Tom’s office chair if you followed.

Tom pulled you into him as he kissed you and smiled into it. You swear you almost heard Gina scoff but shook it off, he was your husband. “Not that I mind but what are you doing here?” He asked quietly.

“Liam wanted to see you, although now I’m not so sure if it’s just the chair he wanted.” You laughed and Tom playfully rolled his eyes.

“You look beautiful my love.” He said and you blushed again as you bit your lip. “Stop doing that.” He laughed as he tugged your lip from your teeth for what felt like the millionth time in your relationship.

“Hardly.” You scoffed and Tom shook his head.

“I love this chilled out mum look you have going on.” He said and he meant it, he thought you were beautiful regardless, but this had to be his favourite look.

“You look better than I did when I had kids.” Linda joined in as you turned to look at her, Tom’s arms instantly wrapping around your waist from behind as his head rested on your shoulder. You watched as Gina rolled her eyes at the interaction, attention back on the screen in front of her, she made you feel self-conscious, she was gorgeous.

“I’m sure that’s not true.” You laughed shyly and she smiled.

“You do my love. Tom is a very lucky man to have a woman like you.” Linda teased and Tom laughed.

“You’re not wrong there.” He said as he kissed your cheek before disappearing off to find Liam in his office.

“I need to go and get a coffee, do you want one?” Linda asked and you politely declined, you wanted to beg her to stay, not wanting to be left alone with Gina for too long. But here you were, awkwardly stood as she pierced you with her gaze.

“So how long have you been married to Mr Holland?” She asked, hands placed under her chin, she looked unbothered by you.

“Almost four years, it’s our anniversary next month.” You answered.

“How old is he?” She asked referring to Liam.

“Three and a half.” You said and she almost scoffed.

“Ah, so he married you because you were pregnant?” She asked, judgement laced throughout her tone.

“No. He was going to ask anyway.” You said confidently.

“That what he told you?” She asked, placing an insecurity you’d not had before into your brain, it was going to be lodged there for a while.

“It’s true.” You said, almost weakly and she shrugged, eyes going back to the computer.

“I’m sure, I’m sure.” She said unbothered and it made your blood boil as you almost stormed into Tom’s office, heart melting at the sight in front of you. Tom was spinning Liam in his chair as Liam laughed and you smiled, all anger dissipating.

“Come on you, we need to get you to grandmas.” You said to Liam and he pouted slightly. “I’ve heard she’s making your favourite for dinner.” You said and Liam jumped off the chair, making his way over to you as you and Tom laughed.

“Love you buddy, see you tomorrow.” Tom said and Liam ran back to him for one final hug. “Be good for grandma okay?” He said and Liam nodded.

“I love you daddy, bye.” Liam shouted as he ran towards the lift.

“Good bye Mrs Holland.” Gina spoke almost mockingly and you wanted to cry as you mumbled a good bye, Tom pulling you in for a last kiss.

“I’ll see you in about an hour?” He said and you smiled weakly as you nodded. “You okay?” He asked as he ran a thumb over your cheek.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s nothing.” You reassured and Tom hesitantly nodded as you made your way towards the lift.

“I love you.” He called after you and you smiled as you said it back, Liam waving like a madman as the lift doors shut.

“Mummy?”

“Yes love?”

“I don’t like that lady, she was mean.” He said and you laughed at his childish words.

“Me neither baby.” You agreed.

The drive to Nikki and Dom’s was short as you thought over everything in your head, had Tom only actually asked you to marry him because you were pregnant? You couldn’t get the thought out of your head.

You arrived at their house, after pleasantries had been exchanged you found yourself having a brew with Nikki before you headed home to get changed.

“Nikki, can I ask you something? I want you to be honest.” You said and Nikki looked at you confused for a second before speaking.

“Of course you can my love.”

“Was Tom gonna propose before he found out I was pregnant?” You asked and Nikki’s hand shot towards yours as she ran a comforting thumb over it.

“Y/N, Tom had that ring for months. Ask your father, he asked permission months before you knew you were pregnant, he was going to propose as soon as the company became his. Love, I don’t know what’s going through your mind but my son loves you, every single part of you.” She said and you nodded as you felt your heart lift.

“I’ve never seen him so smitten. He loves you, he really does. He’d do anything for you and you know that. The day he told me you were pregnant, he cried because he didn’t think he could love you more than he already did and you proved him wrong. He loves the bones of you.” She continued and you smiled.

“I just get so insecure sometimes and I feel like I shut him out, it’s been worse recently.” You admitted and Nikki sighed.

“I did the same when I’d had Tom. I felt like everything changed. You need to let him in, he loves you, he’s not going anywhere.”

“But how do I do that when I haven’t for the last three and a half years?” You asked as a tear slipped down your cheek.

“Love.” She sighed. “You need to trust him when he tells you he loves you, you need to accept yourself for who you are and the changes you’ve been through, trust me, that boy is still as in love with you now as he was when he first brought you to meet me. The look of love and adoration on that boys face has never changed in the years you’ve been together. You’re lucky, you both are. You’ve created a beautiful human being out of the love you both share and he’s only fallen more in love with you watching you become the woman you are.” She explained and you nodded, taking in her words.

“There’s a woman at his office. She’s beautiful and I think she likes him.” You said and Nikki almost laughed.

“Sorry love. I don’t mean to laugh but my son is not interested at all. I don’t think the most aesthetically pleasing woman could turn his head, he adores you.”

You felt better after your conversation with Nikki as you headed back to Tom’s office after having gotten changed into something more outgoing. Gina had gone by the time you’d returned and Tom was just finishing up the contract before you found yourselves at one of your favourite restaurants.

“It’s good to finally be out.” Tom said and you nodded in agreement, it had been a while since your last date night. He grabbed your hand across the table and laced your fingers together, you felt yourself smile at the interaction, you really did love this man and Nikki was right, he never did anything that made you doubt his love for you.

“What can I get for you both?” The waiter interrupted and Tom gave him his order before the waiter looked at you.

“I think I’m going to go for the pesto pasta.” You said and Tom’s eyebrows shot up as the waiter nodded and disappeared.

“I didn’t think you liked pesto all that much.” He said and you shrugged.

“Fancied a change.” You answered and Tom nodded.

“Do you want to get a bottle of wine?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No I don’t really feel like drinking.” You said honestly. You hadn’t felt great for the past month or so, putting it down to the change in weather as autumn approached.

“Are you still ill?” He asked and you shrugged.

“Just a cold or something.” You said and his face looked concerned for you, he hated when you were ill.

“You sure? You’ve still been throwing up.” He pointed out, of course he’d heard your morning wake up calls, he was always up early for the gym.

“Yeah, it’s just a stomach bug I swear.” You said.

“It’s pretty persistent, maybe we should book you a doctors appointment?” He suggested and your heart felt full at his concern over you.

“I will, if it carries on I will.” You said and he smiled.

“Good.” He said as you sipped your water. “I’ve missed you.” He suddenly said, eyes full of longing.

“I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry, I’ve just felt really shitty lately.” You said and he nodded.

Your night went well, neither of you realised how tired you were until you ate and suddenly you both felt sleepy and as soon as you both got into bed you were asleep. You slept better in his embrace that night, missing his warmth and the safety you felt from having him back in bed.

You woke up as you usually did with the urge to vomit, unwrapping yourself from Tom’s arms as he groggily woke up, confusion lacing his features as he watched you bolt to the bathroom. He heard as you emptied the contents of your stomach into the bowl and sighed as he got up, feet padding into the bathroom. You were sat with your back against the wall, sweat covering your features, you looked tired. He sighed again as he sat next to you and brought your head into his chest, he felt your forehead and frowned.

“You’re quite warm baby.” He said and you nodded slightly.

“I’ll be okay.” You said and he huffed.

“You need to book a doctor’s appointment.” He said firmly and you knew there was no point in arguing. When it came to you and your health he took it very seriously.

“Okay.” You agreed as he kissed your head.

“Okay let’s get some sleep before we have to pick Liam up.” He said as he stood you both up, you quickly brushed your teeth as you made your way back into bed, you laid your head on his arm as he spooned you, arm draping around your waist as he lifted your (his) shirt to rub the skin of your stomach.

It suddenly made you feel insecure. What if he could feel your stretch marks? You tensed slightly in his embrace.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as you tried to move the shirt down so there would be a layer between his hand and your skin.

“I’ve got stretch marks.” You said quietly and he placed kisses all over your cheeks.

“Baby, I love you.” He said and you smiled. “You’re everything to me, you know that right? I want you to know that. I love you and I really wish you’d love yourself the way I do.” He said and you relaxed slightly in his embrace, Nikki’s words resonating through your mind.

You’d gotten a rare weekday off with Tom, he’d gotten up to take Liam to nursery and joined you back in bed. He’d carefully woken you up with gentle kisses to your face and neck. You woke up wet and horny, instantly pulling him into a kiss. It also seemed like a rare day you hadn’t woken up feeling ill.

“Morning baby.” He whispered against your lips as you smiled.

“Morning.” You mumbled as he pressed his lips against yours again. It was a very long time since you’d had morning sex. The opportunity didn’t present itself often but you weren’t going to let this one pass you by. Your hands slid into his hair and he groaned as you tugged lightly at the curls.

“I fucking love you.” He said as he disconnected your lips and trailed kisses down your neck. He reached for lamp that he’d flicked on earlier, intending to turn it off, you had extremely thick curtains so light wouldn’t wake you in the summer months, you were a light sleeper. You found an ounce of confidence in yourself that you’d not had for a while. You couldn’t carry on like this, you needed to start trusting him with your body, even if you only took small steps.

You reached for his hand and laced them together and he looked at you confused as you brought his knuckles to your lips.

“Leave it on.” You said and he smiled as he kissed your forehead.

“You sure?” He asked and you nodded as you bit your lip, he raised his brow at you and you instantly released as he smiled and kissed you again. His hand trailed down to your pyjama pants as he played with the hem and you almost moaned at the contact, it’d been a while since you’d felt this needy for him. He trailed kisses down your neck again as his hand found its way into your pants, you moaned as his finger trailed up your heat, feeling how wet you are.

“Fuck baby, you’re soaked.” He said and you moaned as his finger circled your clit lightly. “God you get so wet for me, so needy.” He said and you moaned again as he put more pressure on your clit. “Missed hearing those beautiful sounds.” He said as he bit your earlobe. It wasn’t often you could be loud in bed and you were seizing this opportunity to be.

“Tom, please.” You almost begged, he was putting pressure on your clit, but not enough. It had been a while since you’d been vocal in bed and he was almost shocked when he heard your voice but quickly recovered.

“Please what sweetheart?” He said and you lifted your hips to try and create more pressure.

“Tom, I want more, please.” This time you did beg.

“Whatever my wife wants, she gets.” He said as he put the amount of pressure on your clit that he knew you needed.

You became a moaning mess as he fingered you, praising you and whispering all his dirty thoughts into your ear when his phone rang. He ignored it the first few times but it was becoming a distraction for the both of you.

“Tom, will you please shut that off?” You said and he laughed as he kissed your cheek, reaching for his phone, brow furrowed as he studied the screen. “What?” You asked and he shook his head.

“Nothing just work. I’ll sort it later.” He said as he went to shut off his phone but you stopped him.

“You should probably see what it is.” You said and he shook his head.

“Not today baby.” He said and you sighed, his staff knew not to bother him on his days off unless it was important. “I’ll sort it later.” He said as his phone rang again in his hand.

“Answer it.” You encouraged and he cursed before apologising putting the phone to his ear.

“What?” He answered in an almost snappy tone that made you hold in a laugh. Your stomach dropped when you heard the familiar voice at the other end, jealousy rising in your stomach.

“Mr Holland. I’m really sorry to bother you, I hope you weren’t doing anything important.” You heard Gina’s voice.

“What’s wrong? It’s my day off.” He asked as he sighed. You sat up and crossed your arms over your chest the feeling of jealousy settling in your chest. He furrowed his brows as he watched you, taking your hand in his.

“Mr Reed has been calling all morning, he wants a meeting at twelve to go over a couple of things in the contract, he says it will only be an hour.” She said and Tom squeezed your hand as he looked at you apologetically.

“One minute.” He said as he covered the speaker with his hand that was holding yours. “Baby I’m sorry but I need to go into the office for a short while, I promise I’ll only be an hour and a half.” He said apologetically and you put on a fake smile as you nodded. He removed his hand and spoke through the phone again. “Tell him I’ll be there.” He said.

“Brilliant.” You heard her say almost excitedly. “I look forward to seeing you Mr Holland.” It almost sounded like she purred down the phone and your blood boiled as your nostrils flared.

“Bye.” Tom said in response. He took in your angry features as he put the phone down. “You okay?” He asked and you huffed.

“I don’t like her.” You said and he furrowed his brows.

“Who?”

“That secretary of yours.” You almost snapped.

“Gina? Why?” He asked.

“She likes you.” You stated and he sighed.

“Baby, I don’t think she does. Anyway it wouldn’t matter, I love you.” He reassured as he kissed your forehead. You nodded slightly in response trying to push the jealousy you felt back into your mind. “Baby?” He said when you didn’t respond for a minute. “Baby? I’ll be back soon okay, I love you.” He said and he sighed when you didn’t respond getting off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom to shower.

Your emotions suddenly got the best of you, you were angry. You felt like you’d tried to make a step and now he was ditching you to go to work. The rational part of your brain knew it was poor timing and that he couldn’t help it, he had to go into work to sort this contract, it was a huge one for his company and the man he was liaising with was very demanding.

“I love you.” He said as he buttoned his shirt up.

“I love you too.” You said from your spot on the bed.

“How about you meet me at the office? We can go for lunch?” He suggested and you nodded. “I’ll seen you soon princess.” He said as he kissed your forehead and made his way out of the door, you heard as he shut the front door and you picked up a pillow as you screamed in frustration into it. You felt like you had no control over the jealousy and anger coursing through you. You hoped your doctors appointment tomorrow would answer a few questions for you.

Tom was getting worried about you, you’d been quieter recently, you’d told him that Gina made you feel insecure and it didn’t matter what he said you didn’t seem to listen. Your emotions seemed to be out of control and you were yet to tell him what happened at your doctor’s appointment that was almost a month ago. He’d tried bringing it up but you just shut the conversation down and to say it added to his worry for you was an understatement.

You’d had insecurities for years and Tom was aware of them, he tried to help but he was running out of ways to help you, you barely had sex at the moment, although when you did, you allowed the lamp to be left on so long as the duvet was involved to cover you both. He loves you, he really does and he sighed as he played with his wedding ring thinking about the argument you’d had last week.

“I don’t like her Tom. She flirts with you in front of me and it’s starting to piss me off.” You snapped at him and he ran a hand through his hair.

“Y/N, I don’t know what you want me to do.” He sighed.

“Get rid of her.” You stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world and he ran a hand down his face.

“I can’t do that. She’s good at her job, what would I fire her for? I have no evidence that she’s inappropriate towards me and she could sue for unfair dismissal.” He pointed out.

“Tom, she eye fucks you every time she looks at you.”

"I’m not interested. I don’t know how many times I have to say it.”

“I don’t trust her.”

“You should trust me.” He said and hurt laced his tone, your face instantly dropping.

“Tom, I’m sorry. I do trust you. She just makes me feel so insecure, she’s gorgeous.”

“I don’t think she is, Y/N, I love you. Why can’t you just accept that? Accept that I love you for you. I’m tired, I really am darling, I can’t keep going round in circles with you.” Tom sighed.

“What are you saying?” You asked sceptically and he sighed.

“I don’t know Y/N, I just know I’m tired of this cycle.” He said before making his way up to bed and leaving you on the couch to think everything through.

Things had been a little awkward since, you had been quieter around him, almost frightened to speak and he hated it. He didn’t wanna lose you but he felt like he was, your insecurities had seemingly gotten the better of you, he thought you’d been making progress and then a couple of months ago you became colder, snappier and he didn’t know what to do.

“Where’s your head at?” Harrison pulled him from his thoughts and Tom sighed.

“Y/N/N.” He said and Harrison’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What about her?”

“She’s so insecure and I don’t know what to do to help.” Tom sighed. “She has been since she had Liam but it’s gotten worse over the last two months.” He continued.

“How’d you mean?” Harrison asked.

“She won’t let me see her body, hasn’t since Liam really.”

“What? You’ve not seen her naked?” Harrison asked.

“No. Well yeah, but only on rare occasions.” Tom elaborated. “I don’t understand, she’s fucking gorgeous, I love her so much. Gina makes her feel insecure.” Tom said and Harrison raised his brows again.

“Tom, mate. Maybe you’ve both let this go on too long. It’s your anniversary today, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Tom smiled, you’d been married four years today and he felt ecstatic.

“You should go home and you should take control. Don’t let her shy away back into herself. Make her understand how you feel, don’t let her get too stuck inside her head. Maybe try counselling, loads of couples have it.” Harrison suggested and Tom sighed.

“Maybe you’re right, she’s been through so many changes at such a young age and I think I need to remind my girl what she means to me, that I’m not just with her because we have a child together or out of convenience or anything, thanks mate.” Tom smiled slightly and Harrison placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“You’ll be okay. You both will. You’re rock solid.”

Tom’s day was slow, the anticipation of seeing you tonight was kicking in as he watched the end of his shift roll onto the clock in front of him, just as he was packing up his things he heard a knock at his door.

“Come in.” He said and he watched as Gina made her way through the door. “What’s up?” He asked and she smiled at him, it seemed almost mischievous.

“Mr Holland, I was hoping to catch you.” She said as she walked towards him, hips swinging more than usual.

“What do you need? I’m in a bit of a hurry.” He said in the most polite way possible.

“What are your plans for the evening?” She asked as she leant on his desk. Cleavage showing as Tom looked away awkwardly.

“It’s my anniversary, need to get home to my wife.” He said and she laughed harshly.

“Come on Tom. She can’t seriously make you happy? I’ve seen how stressed you’ve been lately. Let me relieve some of it. She’s clearly not.”

“Gina, this is inappropriate.” Tom stated firmly and she smiled cockily at him.

“Oh come on Tom. You must want someone better.” She said as she walked around the desk and set on the edge of his desk in front of him, he instantly stood up and created a distance between them. She laughed again.

“I won’t tell if you won’t. I can offer you so much more, I’m put more effort into myself, I’d look good for you every day, not just on a rare date night. I work and from what I’ve heard she doesn’t. I don’t have the body of someone who’s had a kid, no stretch marks or extra weight.” She said and every word was making Tom angrier, how fucking dare she?

“Gina, I suggest you leave.” Tom said firmly.

“Fine. Go home to your boring house wife, try not to think about me while you’re having boring, mediocre sex with a boring, mediocre woman.” She said as she hopped off his desk and his anger boiled at her words. He needed her to leave. Just when he thought he’d get his wish she spun around to speak again. “I wouldn’t keep you chained at home because of some kid.” She said and Tom’s anger boiled over.

“I expect your two weeks’ notice on Monday.” He stated firmly and her jaw dropped. “Or I am letting you go for inappropriate behaviour. You know nothing about my wife and our relationship, she is more of a woman than you will ever hope to be. She’s beautiful without having to try, she’s kind and she’s given me a son I love more than anything. You do not belong in my company and I will quickly be finding your replacement. That will be easy. You were stupid however, to believe you could replace my wife, she is one woman who is irreplaceable in my life."

“As for the remarks about her body, she has given me the greatest and most treasured gift I’ve ever received and that is the pleasure of being a dad, my son means the more than anything to me and if it wasn’t for my wife he wouldn’t be here, so I would appreciate it if you kept your comments to yourself and shut your mouth.”

He finished his rant and watched her angrily storm out of his office as he slumped back into his chair, running his hands over his face, you were right, she couldn’t be trusted. Tom sat there and thought about you for a solid fifteen minutes, alone in his office.

He loves you and he’s going to prove it, Harrison was right, he needed to take control of the situation, not let you shy away from him. Maybe some counselling would be of benefit but he didn’t care, it was nothing to be ashamed of. If it’s what you needed then he’d do it for you, he’d do anything for you. He had let this go on for too long, he realised as he sat there that you’d both fallen into a routine and not spoken as much as you should when these insecurities first made an appearance.

It wasn’t as if you’re marriage was unhappy, it was incredibly happy but the last couple of months had been hard on you both. He sighed as he made his way to his car, you were his everything, you were the person he wanted to grow old with, he didn’t want anyone else. He was itching to get home to you now, wishing the journey would be faster despite the short amount of time it took him to get home. He was glad it would just be you in when he got home, Liam was staying at your mum’s for the night.

As he approached the front door and unlocked it he was quick to throw his things to the side and hang his jacket up. His feet padded around the house until he found you in the library reading, it was always your escape, something you found comfort in and he loved catching you when you had your head stuck in a book. He found it so domestic and it filled his heart with a warmth only you could. He still loved you as much now as he did when he fell for you all those years ago.

“Hi princess.” He said and he laughed lightly as you jumped, you’d been so stuck into your book you’d not heard him.

“Tom! I didn’t hear you come in.” You said and he laughed.

“Clearly.” He snorted and watched as you smiled at him, god it was a beautiful smile, Liam had the same one. “Happy anniversary.” He said and your smile widened.

“Happy anniversary.” You said as you put your book down and he approached you, extending his hand, you took it, furrowed brows.

“We’ve got an hour before we need to start getting ready to go out.” He said and you smiled again. “Come with me.” He said as he led you out of the library and into the bedroom. “Stand.” He said as he motioned in front of him. You looked confused but did anyway. “Turn around.” You did and you were met with the mirror that was on your wardrobe.

“Tom-“ You started but he cut you off.

“Baby, I love you.” He said and he kissed your temple, eyes connected with yours through the glass of the mirror. “Every inch of you is perfect.” He said and you blushed, almost on instinct his thumb came to your bottom lip before you could bite it.

“What are you doing?” You asked and he smiled at you as he kissed your neck.

“I want you to see what I do. Love yourself like I do.” He said and his tone was so gentle that you could have cried with how full your heart felt. “You have such a beautiful face.” He said as he kissed your cheek. He lifted your top and took it off, your head instantly turning so you weren’t looked into the mirror. “Princess, look.” He said and you blushed, his hand coming round to grasp your chin, pulling your face back to the mirror.

You watched as he peppered kisses along your shoulder. “You are perfection to me.” He said as he slowly unclipped your bra, letting it fall to the floor. He continued to place kisses to your shoulder and you reached up to run a hand through his hair, you found it comforting. You swallowed your nerves at him seeing your body, he loved you, he still thought you were beautiful.

You started to say it over and over again in your mind as your nerves settled, he continued to whisper all the things he loved about you into your ear as your head rested back onto his shoulder. He slowly took your leggings and underwear off before standing back up and wrapping his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder.

“Baby, you have nothing to be insecure about, I want you to look at yourself. You’re perfect, I don’t want anyone else, you’re it for me, you’re my everything. You’ve given me a beautiful son and you shouldn’t punish yourself for that, you might have had a few changes but I still love you the same, if not more. Princess, I need you to trust me when I say it.” He said as his eyes scanned your body, you really were beautiful, every stretch mark a reminder that you’d brought your beautiful child into the world and he couldn’t be more grateful to you.

He watched as the blush in your cheeks calmed the more he praised your body, your insecurities being fought back by his truths and he knew it was a step forward, you still had many more to take but it was a start, he loves you and he’s willing to do anything for you, wait as long as you want.

You felt your insecurities dissipate the more he spoke, you had to let him in, you had to let him heal you, see you. You’re married, you love each other. You turned your face as you pulled him closer to you, his head turning as you caught his lips in a kiss, it was sweet at first until it grew deeper, needier, and more desperate.

“Tom, I want you.” You said and he peppered kisses down your neck, he turned you around to face him, one hand in your hair and the other on your waist. He pulled you closer to him as you continued to kiss, tongues finding each other’s as they fought for dominance that Tom won. He walked you back until you were on the bed, back hitting the mattress.

“Gonna make you feel good.” He said into the skin of your neck and you shivered in anticipation, growing more aroused by the second. He kissed down your body and you let out a shaky breath as his breath fanned your clit. He licked a stripe through your wet folds and almost moaned at the taste, he listened as you moaned out. “Sound so hot baby.” He spoke against you and the vibrations shot straight through your body.

He lapped at your clit as you moaned his name, occasionally sucking your clit before releasing it and gentle licking it again. You threw your head back at the sensations and Toms hand came up to lace with yours, you felt him leave your clit for a second and just as you were about to ask why he stopped he spoke.

“I want you to look at me princess. I want to watch your beautiful face as you come apart on my tongue.” He said and you almost moaned at his words when you felt his tongue on your clit again. You snapped your eyes to his and the look in them sent new waves of pleasure through your system. The intimacy making you more aroused, you could see the clear lust in his eyes but the look of love and adoration was there too.

He moved his free hand and circled a finger around your entrance as he continued to suck and lick at your clit and you moaned as he slid his finger in, never breaking eye contact and it was hot, your insecurities moving further into the back of your mind in this moment. You loved him so much and you knew he loved you. You moaned as you felt him add a second finger, curling them towards your g spot.

Every lick and stroke against your clit and g spot was bringing you closer to your edge as you looked into each other’s eyes as he brought you closer. Your orgasm was fast approaching and you squeezed his hand, using it as an anchor to keep your hips still. “I want you to come for me princess.” He said as he sucked your clit, a little harsher this time as his fingers stroked your g spot faster and more frequently.

You felt yourself barrel over the edge and into the waves beneath, getting lost in your orgasm as you threw your head back, eyes closed as you moaned his name and he fucked you through your high with his fingers. You came down from your high as he made his way back up your body, kissing every inch he could on the way. You reached down to unbuckle his belt and he stopped you.

“Not tonight my love, this is about you.” He said and your heart melted, you loved this man. He brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them clean, your arousal grew again as you watched him. He reached into the bedside table and as he was about to pull out a condom you stopped him.

“Don’t need one tonight.” You said and he looked at you eyebrows raised.

“Darling, are you saying you want to try for another?” He asked and you shrugged as you grinned at him and he kissed your cheek multiple times. “I love you so much.” He spoke and you returned the words as he slipped into you, giving you a minute to adjust, you both moaned, not having the barrier of a condom made it feel so much better. He looked at you for approval before you nodded, giving him permission to move.

He rolled his hips slowly against your own as he laced both your hands together, bringing them both above your head as you both moaned. It was slow and passionate and everything you needed, you realised the light was still on but couldn’t bring yourself to care, he was showing you just how much he loved you through his actions. You moaned as he shifted his hips to angle perfectly to hit your g spot.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good.” He moaned. “Always feel amazing.” He said and you moaned.

“I love you.” You moaned out as he continued his slow and passionate pace, this was about more than just getting off and you both knew it.

“I love you so much. So lucky to have you as my wife, wouldn’t ever want anyone else, you’re my everything.” He reminded you of the words he’d said ever since you first told each other you loved each other. His thrusts grew sloppier as you both chased your highs, moaning together as his pubic bone rubbed against your clit. He pulled back slightly to look into your eyes and that was enough to send you over the edge again, moaning as you felt him finish inside you. He fucked you both through your highs as you came down together.

He collapsed on top of you and you ran your fingers through his hair as he ran his hands up and down your sides, placing kisses to your chest every now and again. It was quiet for a while as you both caught your breaths. He was still lodged inside you.

“I mean it you know. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You said as you kissed his hair and continued to run your hands through it. He kissed your shoulder as he took in a breath and pulled out of you before getting off the bed and picking you up bridal style. He carried you into the bathroom as you cleaned yourselves up and he set the bath going as you went to the toilet.

He came back into the room with towels and bubble bath, adding the liquid to the water and you smiled at the gesture, he was never really one for bubble bath but you loved it. Five minutes later and you found yourself with your back to his chest as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and you ran a hand up and down his fore arm. The excitement of the news you had getting the better of you as you spoke.

“I’m pregnant.” You said and you felt his head lift from your shoulder.

“You’re what?” He asked in shock and you laughed.

“I can’t believe we both missed it.” You said through giggles and he joined.

“Yeah makes perfect sense. I knew you weren’t a big fan of pesto.” He teased and you laughed. “Seriously though? You’re pregnant?” He asked again and you nodded furiously.

“Nine weeks. We weren’t overly careful after one of our date nights” You confirmed and he peppered your cheek with kisses.

“Oh baby, I’m so excited. I love you so much. Liam’s gonna be a big brother.” He said excitedly as you kissed his bicep. “I’m gonna be a father of two.” He said.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I wanted to wait until today.” You said and he kissed your shoulder.

“It’s fine princess. I’m so happy.” He said and you felt a tear run down your shoulder and you spun around to look at him, happy tears in his eyes.

“Tom.” You said as you wiped at his tears.

“I’m just so happy.” He said and you smiled. “Sorry, I cried over Liam too, just once the shock of it had sunk in. I think I had my suspicions this time around. God, I’m lost for words.” He said and you kissed him. “You are perfect my love, two more and we’ll have that big family we wanted.” He said and you laughed.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, childbirth is no easy task.” You teased and he kissed you, smiling into it before he brought your left hand up to his face and kissed your wedding ring.

“I couldn’t have found a more perfect partner.” He said as he placed his forehead against yours, your heart filling with so much love for him, it was almost overwhelming. He was going to tell you about Gina but he would wait for a better day, nothing was going to ruin this moment for the two of you.

You made love so many times that night you lost count. Reminding each other how much you loved each other, he didn’t leave an inch of your body untouched by the love he has for you and although you had a long way to go, you were making progress and he knew you’d get through it together as you would anything because you loved each other and neither of you could imagine a future without the other.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland smut #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland au #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader #dad!tom #ceo!tom

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groovyzombiellama · 3 years

Text

Generation Swine

Title: Generation Swine

Requested? Yes.

Plot: You marry Nikki Sixx in 1990, have your daughter in 1992 and the two of you go on tour with the band in 1997.

Word count: 1471

---***---

1990---

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.“ It felt as if just yesterday that Nikki proposed to you, and here you were, at the altar, beginning your lives as husband and wife. You never saw Nikki as only a famous musician, he was first and foremost an amazing person you loved. This was the man who supported you through anything and who always looked after you no matter what, and the fact that he was famous was just a bonus to you. So you never looked at the hate comments of people who were claiming that you were marrying Nikki just for his money and fame, because you knew that it wasn’t true, but more importantly for you, Nikki knew that, and that was all you needed to brush away everyone who tried spreading false rumors about your life and love. You often wondered what would have happened if you had looked at every comment and believed them, and in the beginning you did, you read everything that people said about you, no matter how much it made you wish the earth would just eat you up. And a few times at the start of your relationship with Nikki, you wondered weather you should just quit.

Weather he would be happier if you weren’t in his life. Your head spinning as “what if’s“ and “buts“ filled your head to the point you swore it was going to explode. But then Nikki came in to the rescue and made you realise once again that you chose the right person for you. He could tell that those comments were bothering you, often times seeing your finger hover over the delete button, as you debated weather you should just delete all social media and throw your phone in the trash. And many times he wanted to talk to you, but he knew you. He knew you would not say anything unless you were ready to talk, and no matter how much he bugged you, you would continue claiming that you’re fine, so he waited for you to come to him. But after about two and a half weeks, he couldn’t take it anymore, as you were still pretending you were fine, so he snatched your phone from your hand one day as you two were sitting on the couch, your legs in his lap, a movie you were not even paying attention to playing on the tv, as the comments under your newest post were all you could focus on, and it annoyed Nikki because you two were supposed to have a cozy movie night before they had to leave for a few weeks to do some shows.

He grabbed your hands in his once he set your phone down on the table and finally got you to open up to him, and as only once you were done talking did you notice tears streaming down your face. Nikki raised his hand and wiped your tears, pulling you in his arms, reassuring you that none of those comments matter to him, because he knows you, and he knows you love him for who he is. “Do you really think of me as someone who can’t see when he’s being lied to, or manipulated? Give me some credit babe, come on!“ He said in the middle of affirming to you that you are the woman that he loves making you giggle, and his own lips curved into a smile at the sound. From then on you stopped reading comments and instead, focused on your life and the people who are important to you. And it gave you an interesting feeling, a sense of power to have those who claimed you two wouldn’t last, see that you’re now a married couple, and it made you want to prove it to them even more that you’re here to stay. The amount of love in Nikki’s eyes as he looked at you on the day of your wedding will forever stay burned in your mind.

1992---

“Mr and Mrs Feranna, congratulations, you’re now the parents of a very beautiful baby girl.“ Both you and Nikki couldn’t believe your eyes as you looked at your tiny human. She felt so small in your arms and you had to pinch yourself to be sure you were not dreaming. Her small fingers curling around her fathers much bigger one warmed your heart. Your little bundle of joy had no idea how loved she was and how cared for. Nikki pressed a gentle kiss on your head, thanking you for giving him this huge joy in the shape of your tiny bean. A few people told you how love fades between a couple with the birth of their child, and that you were both gonna love her more than each other, and you couldn’t understand that, as your love for your husband and his for you grew so much. You adored your little family and even though your daughter was the light in your life, your husband had a good grip on your heart too. And for Nikki, his two girls have made home in his heart, not planning to leave any time soon and that was completely okay with him.

It was pure magic to see your daughter grow. Her first step, her first word, (it was “dada“, but even when Nikki teased you about it, you couldn’t find it in your heart to be mad, since he was the best father any child could ever hope for) all of her firsts were, on one hand constant reminders that she’s growing way too fast for your liking, but on the other, beautiful moments that made you proud of being her mother. Tommy, Vince and Mick absolutely adored her too, and spoiled her rotten. They made sure she has everything she ever wanted and so many times they went overboard on sweets and toys. You loved hearing her tiny giggles as she ran around trying to catch one of them, or trying to run away. Shaking your head slightly, you laughed as Nikki pretended to fall while he was chasing her around, but your smile soon was replaced with a pout, as you melted at your daughter waddling over to her father with a worried face, hoping he wasn’t really injured. Nikki told her he was fine and held her in his arms for a while until she was assured he was okay, and soon enough it was back to playtime.

1997---

“Are you sure you two have enough pillows?“ Your husband asked, for what had to be the tenth time, as you were tucking your daughter, who was now five years old, into bed for the night. You smiled softly, cupping his cheek with your hand, telling him not to worry and that the two of you will be fine. The root of Nikki’s worry was in the fact that it was your daughter’s first time sleeping in a tourbus so he worried the curves and bumps in the road would disturb her sleep. But when he noticed that she was out like a light despite not being used to sleeping in a moving vehicle, he calmed down and was able to enjoy the ride with his bandmates. They were on tour to promote their album Generation Swine, but Nikki didn’t want to leave his girls for too long, so he asked if you wanted to come with him. Your daughter was extatic to be traveling with her father and uncles, since she always missed them when they were gone for a long time with tours and shows, so you couldn’t say no.

When they were not busy with shows and promotions, and had a little window of free time, they spent it with her, showing her around the venue before a concert, or taking her for ice cream at a local ice cream shop. You were both having the time of your life, and it meant the world to Nikki that his wife and daughter were there to support him. Even later on in your lives, he loved to recall that tour as near and dear to his heart, because it was the first time he had the two of you close to him throughout the whole tour. It made it even more fun to see your daughters tiny dance moves as her father and his bandmates performed on stage or at soundcheck, and it made the boys laugh so much at her cuteness. Even when some people looked your way, shocked that you had brought a child to a concert of a heavy metal band, it didn’t bother you, as you had your little family, consisting of your husband, your daughter, and her three uncles and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

---***---

here you go anon, sorry it took so long, I hope you like it :)

From now on, I will try to mostly post only on Fridays, and once I have less studying to do, I’ll post on some other days too :)

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx x reader #motley crue #Vince Neil #vince neil imagine #vince neil x reader #Tommy Lee #tommy lee imagine #tommy lee x reader #Mick Mars #mick mars imagine #mick mars x reader #montley crue imagine #the dirt #the dirt movie #the dirt imagine

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jrob64 · 3 years

Text

WiP Wednesday - For the Sake of Henry

A brief summary: Killian Jones is a third grade teacher who has Henry Cassidy in his class. When he suspects the boy is being neglected and abused by his father, he reports it to the Office of Child and Family Services. The investigator they send is Emma Swan.

Five chapters have been written and edited for this so far, and I figure about half of the story is finished. I wanted to post a short scene from Chapter 3 just to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about writing it! I’m hoping to have enough of the story finished to begin posting it sometime in October. Thank you for your interest in it - I hope it doesn’t disappoint!

(It’s Wednesday in some parts of the world, isn’t it?)

*********

Killian was restless. Usually his Friday nights were relaxing and stress-free, since he made sure he had all of his students’ assignments graded before he left school, and saved any lesson planning he had to do for later in the weekend. He liked to kick back and watch sports or movies as a way of unwinding after a long week of work.

He took Minnie for an unusually long walk, to try to work out some of the concern he was feeling about Henry. He wished he knew what happened during the home inspection Emma Swan conducted, and really hoped Henry was in a safe place; whether it was with his own father or in a foster home.

If Killian was being completely honest with himself, he preferred it to be foster placement. Henry’s father had gotten angry enough to hit him because he asked for something to eat; he hated to think what the boy’s dad would do once he was visited by the Office of Child and Family Services.

After having a pizza delivered, Killian sat down in the recliner with a couple of slices and a beer, and began searching for a hockey game on TV. His mind wandered as he watched, and before he knew it, the game was over. He threw away his paper plate, put the leftovers in the fridge and grabbed another beer.

When he unlocked his phone, he saw the red notification symbol indicating he had new emails. Clicking on it, he saw one was from Emma Swan with ‘update on H.C.’ in the subject line. He knew she was probably being vague to try and protect Henry’s privacy.

He opened the confidential message quickly and scanned through it. His shoulders slumped in relief when he saw that Henry was now in a foster home within the school district. He had heard about other students in the past who were placed with Ingrid Fisher and she seemed to be kind and very capable.

As relieved as he was knowing that Henry was in a safe place, he felt empathy for his student. Being the child of an alcoholic himself, he knew no matter how chaotic his life was because of his father, he still loved him and wanted to be with him. He was sure Henry felt the same way.

He typed out a message thanking Miss Swan for keeping him updated and for all the work she did that day. Just before he hit send, he added, “I hope you have a pleasant weekend, Emma.”

He didn’t know what it was about the blonde investigator, but he had been drawn to her in a way he hadn’t felt in almost two decades. When he thought of it that way, he berated himself. She was probably little more than two decades old herself, and he was sure he was imagining any connection there might be between them. The only relationship he should have with her was determining the welfare of Henry, nothing more.

*********

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#wip wednesday #cs ff #for the sake of henry #jrob64 #cs fanfiction #cs fic #CS modern AU #captain swan fan fiction #ouat captain swan fanfic

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 years

Text

an incomplete list of 2022 releases I'm excited for

remember last year when I did hot book summer, trying to keep up with all the spicy new releases of summer 2021? and how it took me til like... early autumn to actually read them all? yeah, 2022 is gonna be that ALL YEAR LONG. buckl up for hot book spring!

February 1: Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century (Kim Fu)

In the twelve unforgettable tales of Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century, the strange is made familiar and the familiar strange, such that a girl growing wings on her legs feels like an ordinary rite of passage, while a bug-infested house becomes an impossible, Kafkaesque nightmare. Each story builds a new world all its own: a group of children steal a haunted doll; a runaway bride encounters a sea monster; a vendor sells toy boxes that seemingly control the passage of time; an insomniac is seduced by the Sandman. These visions of modern life wrestle with themes of death and technological consequence, guilt and sexuality, and unmask the contradictions that exist within all of us. (x)

February 8: Please Miss: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis (Grace Lavery)

A speculative memoir of gender transition and recovery from addiction, refracted through pop culture, queer theory, film, TV, literature, and (what feels like) stand-up comedy–like The Argonauts caught in a hall of mirrors, with a lot more sex and humor. (x)

March 3: Our Wives Under the Sea (Julia Armfield)

Leah is changed. Months earlier, she left for a routine expedition, only this time her submarine sank to the sea floor. When she finally surfaces and returns home, her wife Miri knows that something is wrong. Barely eating and lost in her thoughts, Leah rotates between rooms in their apartment, running the taps morning and night. As Miri searches for answers, desperate to understand what happened below the water, she must face the possibility that the woman she loves is slipping from her grasp. (x)

April 5: Portrait of a Thief (Grace D. Li)

Ocean’s Eleven meets The Farewell in Portrait of a Thief, a lush, lyrical heist novel inspired by the true story of Chinese art vanishing from Western museums, about diaspora, the colonization of art, and the complexity of the Chinese American identity. (x)

April 12: Woman, Eating (Claire Kohda)

Lydia is hungry. She’s always wanted to try sashimi, ramen, onigiri with sour plum stuffed inside – the food her Japanese father liked to eat. And then there is bubble tea and the vegetables grown by the other young artists at the London studio space she is secretly squatting in. But Lydia can’t eat any of this. The only thing she can digest is blood, and it turns out that sourcing fresh pigs’ blood in London – where she is living away from her vampire mother for the first time – is much more difficult than she’d anticipated. Then there are the humans: the people at the gallery she interns at, the strange men who follow her after dark, and Ben, a goofy-grinned artist she is developing feelings for. Lydia knows that they are her natural prey, but she can’t bring herself to feed on them. If Lydia is to find a way to exist in the world, she must reconcile the conflicts within her – between her demon and human sides, her mixed ethnic heritage, and her relationship with food, and, in turn, humans. Before any of this, however, she must eat. (x)

April 12: A Tiny Upward Shove (Melissa Chadburn)

Marina Salles’s life does not end the day she wakes up dead. Instead, in the course of a moment, she is transformed into the stuff of myth, the stuff of her grandmother's old Filipino stories—an aswang. She spent her life on the margins, knowing very little about her own life, let alone the lives of others; she was shot like a pinball through a childhood of loss, a veteran of Child Protective Services and a survivor, but always reacting, watching from a distance. Death brings her into the hearts and minds of those she has known—even her killer—as she is able to access their memories and to see anew the meaning of her own. In the course of these pages she traces back through her life, finally able to see what led these lost souls to this crushingly inevitable conclusion. (x)

April 19: The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer (Janelle Monáe)

In The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer, singer-songwriter, actor, fashion icon, activist, and worldwide superstar Janelle Monáe brings to the written page the Afrofuturistic world of one of her critically acclaimed albums, exploring how different threads of liberation—queerness, race, gender plurality, and love—become tangled with future possibilities of memory and time in such a totalitarian landscape…and what the costs might be when trying to unravel and weave them into freedoms. (x)

April 26: Kaikeyi (Vaishnavi Patel)

"I was born on the full moon under an auspicious constellation, the holiest of positions--much good it did me."

So begins Kaikeyi's story. The only daughter of the kingdom of Kekaya, she is raised on tales about the might and benevolence of the gods: how they churned the vast ocean to obtain the nectar of immortality, how they vanquish evil and ensure the land of Bharath prospers, and how they offer powerful boons to the devout and the wise. Yet she watches as her father unceremoniously banishes her mother, listens as her own worth is reduced to how great a marriage alliance she can secure. And when she calls upon the gods for help, they never seem to hear.

Desperate for some measure of independence, she turns to the texts she once read with her mother and discovers a magic that is hers alone. With this power, Kaikeyi transforms herself from an overlooked princess into a warrior, diplomat, and most favored queen, determined to carve a better world for herself and the women around her. (x)

May 10: Siren Queen (Nghi Vo)

“No maids, no funny talking, no fainting flowers.” Luli Wei is beautiful, talented, and desperate to be a star. Coming of age in pre-Code Hollywood, she knows how dangerous the movie business is and how limited the roles are for a Chinese American girl from Hungarian Hill—but she doesn’t care. She’d rather play a monster than a maid.

But in Luli’s world, the worst monsters in Hollywood are not the ones on screen. The studios want to own everything from her face to her name to the women she loves, and they run on a system of bargains made in blood and ancient magic, powered by the endless sacrifice of unlucky starlets like her. For those who do survive to earn their fame, success comes with a steep price. Luli is willing to do whatever it takes—even if that means becoming the monster herself. (x)

May 17: Glitterati (Oliver K. Langmead)

The Glitterati regularly have traumatic memories erased, allowing them to live lives of luxury and leisure, following the ever-changing tides of fashion. After Simone accidentally starts a fashion for nosebleeds at a party, a fellow fashionite takes the credit and sparks a rivalry so vicious it threatens to expose the sordid foundations of their opulent utopia. (x)

May 24: You Made a Fool of Death With Your Beauty (Akwaeke Emezi)

Feyi Adekola wants to learn how to be alive again. It’s been five years since the accident that killed the love of her life and she’s almost a new person now—an artist with her own studio, and sharing a brownstone apartment with her ride-or-die best friend, Joy, who insists it’s time for Feyi to ease back into the dating scene. Feyi isn’t ready for anything serious, but a steamy encounter at a rooftop party cascades into a whirlwind summer she could have never imagined: a luxury trip to a tropical island, decadent meals in the glamorous home of a celebrity chef, and a major curator who wants to launch her art career. She’s even started dating the perfect guy, but their new relationship might be sabotaged before it has a chance by the dangerous thrill Feyi feels every time she locks eyes with the one person in the house who is most definitely off-limits. This new life she asked for just got a lot more complicated, and Feyi must begin her search for real answers. Who is she ready to become? Can she release her past and honor her grief while still embracing her future? And, of course, there’s the biggest question of all—how far is she willing to go for a second chance at love? (x)

July 26: How to Read Now: Essays (Elaine Castillo)

How many times have we heard that reading builds empathy? That we can travel through books? How often have we were heard about the importance of diversifying our bookshelves? Or claimed that books saved our life? Of course, these beautiful words are sometimes true. But reading is—and can be—more powerful, more relevant, and more vital than we currently let it be. What do the cliches and good intentions we rely on to talk about the warm fuzzy feeling of reading gloss over or sell short when it comes to the critical skills reading fosters, and the range of emotions reading allows us to explore? Castillo illuminates—and insists upon—our potential to become better readers, readers who will wield the power of reading ruthlessly, effectively, and to startling result to enact equity, kindle authentic connection, and clear space for voices to be heard. (x)

October 25: Into the Riverlands (Nghi Vo)

Wandering cleric Chih of the Singing Hills travels to the riverlands to record tales of the notorious near-immortal martial artists who haunt the region. On the road to Betony Docks, they fall in with a pair of young women far from home, and an older couple who are more than they seem. As Chih runs headlong into an ancient feud, they find themselves far more entangled in the history of the riverlands than they ever expected to be. (x)

April alone might kill me :,)

#bookblr

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years

Photo

Slightly paraphrased, but Peeta talking about that moment he developed his crush on Katniss is just too sweet 😊

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 22-24 are below the cut (sprinkled in some psychology thoughts again).

heart

Honestly, I think the people in Panem would perceive the whole everlark storyline the same way we perceive and react to our ships on tv (desperately wanting to reach through the screen, shoving the characters forcefully together, screaming “And now, kiss!”); especially the Capitolites who barely recognize the tributes (or people in the districts, in general) as people. The people in the districts would definitely view the whole thing more under a “reality tv” kind of lens, questioning how much of the relationship is real or not (we know that Finnick certainly thought that the entire thing was just a spiel, until Peeta hit that forcefield). The time spent in the cave must have been pretty convincing, though.

mind

I think that Katniss is still torn here - On the one hand, she kind of wants to believe that Peeta is actually into her (remember the happiness she felt when Peeta told her how his crush on her began, and it all added up and seemed so real), but on the other hand she’s terrified of that possibility because A) lingering trauma from her mom’s depression in response the Mr. Everdeen’s death, B) Katniss never even considered falling in love, so that’s a sudden unexpected thing to deal with, and C) maybe it’s just for the sake of the Games; and wouldn’t that hurt, getting your hopes up only to learn it was only for show? (How about we ask Peeta about that?)

soul

Yeah, that quote about Peeta only eating stale bread also struck me as quite sad. It just further adds to his understanding how there should be more to life than just survival, though. (One day, I’ll make that post about Peeta, Katniss, and Maslow’s pyramid of needs, I swear! I’ve already gathered some research material)

Chapter 22

My mother’s hand strokes my cheek and I don’t push it away as I would in wakefulness, never wanting her to know how much I crave that gentle touch. How much I miss her even though I still don’t trust her. - Ugh, I can’t... Katniss misses her mom, misses being cared for😢 I’m so glad we’re going to see her patch up her relationship with her mom in CF... On a different note, Katniss craving that gentle touch just perfectly illustrates why she’s so drawn to Peeta, who is generally such a gentle soul (I mean, he’s literally the person stroking her cheek here 😊)

He [Peeta] doesn’t seem angry about my tricking him, drugging him, and running off to the feast. Maybe I’m just too beat-up and I’ll hear about it later when I’m stronger. But for the moment, he’s all gentleness. - As I was saying... 😉

“I’ll go hunting soon,” I say. “Not too soon, all right?” he says. “You just let me take care of you for a while.” - I love them so much😊🥰 And then Peeta makes sure she’s well-fed and hydrated, he rubs her cold feet and tucks her into the sleeping back... and she let’s him! 💗

“He [Thresh] let you go because he didn’t want to owe you anything?” asks Peeta in disbelief. “Yes. I don’t expect you to understand it. You’ve always had enough. But if you’d lived in the Seam, I wouldn’t have to explain,” I say. “And don’t try. Obviously I’m too dim to get it,” he says. - Oof. This exchange here is interesting in many ways: 1) it highlights their different experiences, tied to their different socioeconomic backgrounds, basically, and 2) that Katniss is very much aware of this difference, but we also see hints of her own ignorance here - because Peeta didn’t have to starve in his childhood, she thinks that he can’t possibly understand this level of hardship; but there are other ways in which one can suffer/lack fundamental needs, which brings us to 3) Peeta’s response about being “obviously too dim to get it”; I think this is a clue to his mom being also verbally abusive towards him: she called him “stupid creature” when he burnt those loaves of bread for Katniss and when he’s losing it in the attic of the Justice Building in D11 in CF he is mad that Katniss and Haymitch keep things from him “like [he’s] too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them”, which - to me - sounds like he’s tired of being treated that way (i.e. the way his mother treats him)

“I want to go home, Peeta,” I say plaintively, like a a small child. - God, this is a teenager in a murder-arena who feels like wanting to go home is a childish notion instead of a totally legitimate wish for anyone in that situation, regardless of age 😢

It’s not that Peeta’s soft exactly, and he’s proved he’s not a coward. But there are things you don’t question too much, I guess, when your home always smells like baking bread, whereas Gale questions everything. What would Peeta think of the irreverent banter that passes between us as we break the law each day? Would it shock him? The things we say about Panem? Gale’s tirades against the Capitol? - Geez, Katniss, give Peeta some credit here! A) It’s not like Peeta can walk around District 12 talking publicly about the injustices happening there - she and Peeta hadn’t even talked with each other before the reaping, whereas Gale is her best friend who rants to her while they are outside the confines of D12 and B) Peeta is literally the one who introduced the whole “not a piece in their Games”-idea to her; why would he be clutching his pearls over Katniss and Gale’s irreverent banter?! Just because Peeta didn’t live on the brink of starvation (she again brings up how his house smells like bread and - at this point - still thinks that the family running the bakery actually gets to eat what they produce just like that), doesn’t mean he doesn’t see how shitty life in D12 is - he can still want better conditions for those who are worse off than him!

“I did do the right thing,” I say. “No! Just don’t, Katniss!” His grip tightens, hurting my hand, and there’s real anger in his voice. “Don’t die for me. You won’t be doing me any favors. All right?” - Well, we’ll see this song and dance again in CF...

And while I was talking, the idea of actually losing Peeta hit me again and I realized how much I don’t want him to die. [...] And it’s not about what will happen back home. And it’s not just that I don’t want to be alone. It’s him. I do not want to lose the boy with the bread.” - I wish CF Katniss would remember this moment when she is questioning her motives about saving Peeta’s life in the arena - You. Care. For. This. Boy! You. Value. Him. For. Who. He. Is!!!

This is the first kiss that we’re both fully aware of. [...] This is the first kiss where I actually feel stirring inside my chest. Warm and curious. This is the first kiss that makes me want another. - Whoo! Is it hot in here or is it just me? 😉

I’m struck by his immediacy now. As we settle in, he pulls my head down to use his arm as a pillow; the other rests protectively over me even when he goes to sleep. No one has held me like this in such a long time. Since my father died and I stopped trusting my mother, no one else’s arms have made me feel this safe. - He makes her feel safe in a murder-arena!!! 😭 This is the kind of stuff that makes everlark just a top tier romance, tbh

Peeta telling Katniss about his crush starting on their first day of school 🥰😭 - and her reaction to it... For a moment, I’m almost foolishly happy - yes, because you have a crush on him, too! - and then confusion sweeps over me. Because we’re supposed to be making up this stuff [...] So, if those details are true... could it all be true? - YESSSSSSSS!!!

“You have a... remarkable memory, “ I say haltingly. - as a severely socially awkward person... I felt that lame response in my bones 😅

“You don’t have much competition anywhere.” And this time, it’s me who leans in. - God, this would be such an amazing moment if it didn’t get tainted by that immediate sponsor gift, which just serves to muddle Katniss’s feelings with her sense of survival, further complicating her relationship with Peeta... *sigh*

Chapter 23

“What was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me... no competition... best thing that ever happened to you...” “I don’t remember that last part,” I say, hoping it’s too dim in here for the cameras to pick up my blush. “Oh, that’s right. That’s what I was thinking,” he says. - Peeta is the master of being a cheeky little shit and adorable flirt at the same time

“So, since we were five, you never even noticed any other girls?” I ask him. “No, I noticed just about every girl, but none of them made a lasting impression but you,” he says. - I appreciate that while Peeta has had a crush on Katniss forever, he clearly didn’t spend the entire time pining after her, oblivious to the rest of the world - he has a life outside of Katniss Everdeen, but ultimately, it all lead back to her

A disturbing thought hits me. “But then, our only neighbor will be Haymitch!” “Ah, that’ll be nice,” says Peeta, tightening his arms around me. “You and me and Haymitch. Very cozy. Picnics, birthdays, long winter nights around the fire retelling old Hunger Games tales.” “I told you, he hates me!” I say, but I can’t help laughing at the image of Haymitch becoming my new pal. - Laugh all you want, this is going to end up being your future anyway 😄

He [Haymitch]’s at something of a disadvantage because most mentors have a partner, another victor to help them whereas Haymitch has to bready to go into action at any moment. Kind of like me when I was alone in the arena. I wonder how he’s holding up, with the drinking, the attention, and the stress of tring to keep us alive. - Katniss is already worrying about her “new pal”, I see ;)

Maybe he [Haymitch] wasn’t always a drunk. Maybe, in the beginning, he tried to help the tributes. But then it got unbearable. It must be hell to mentor two kids and then watch them die. - Honestly, that sounds absolutely awful...

Poor, Katniss, when she learns of Thresh’s death :( - But no one will understand my sorrow at Thresh’s murder. - It’s horrible how compassion and basic human decency gets construed as ‘weakness’ in the world of Hunger Games (esp. the Capitol)

Then I escape into sleep, comforted by a full belly and the steady warmth of Peeta beside me. - Honestly, I think a word analysis of THG-series could be interesting; how often does Katniss mention “warmth”, “steady/steadiness” “safe/safety/security” in connection with “Peeta”?

“We make a goat cheese and apple tart at the bakery,” he says. “Bet that’s expensive,” I say. “Too expensive for my family to eat. Unless it’s gone very stale. Of course, practically everything we eat is stale,” says Peeta [...] Huh. I always assumed the shopkeepers live a soft life. And it’s true, Peeta has always had enough to eat. But there’s something kind of depressing about living your life on stale bread - Katniss is starting to realize that the lives of the merchants isn’t a cushy as she thought; also, in a way, we see a “prettier” version of how Panem treats the districts overall -> feeding the districts just enough that they can do their work (plus/minus a couple of people who’ll die of starvation, but at a small, for Capitolites insignificant margin), but not so much that they are in good shape to rebel; here, the merchants of D12 have just enough that they can live a “decent” life (they know it could be worse -> the Seam), but they don’t have enough to live a free, comfortable, self-determined life either. This also just further drives a wedge between the inhabitants of D12 (the merchants won’t want to rebel because they don’t want to get ‘demoted’ in their lifestyle, starving like the people from the Seam, and the Seam folk feel resentful towards the merchant people, while also not having the resources to rebel, due to their awful socioeconomic conditions)

What would be my life like on a daily basis? Most of it has been consumed with the acquisition of food. Take that away and I’m not really sure who I am, what my identity is. - It’s so sad who Katniss has been so consumed with ensuring that her most base needs are fulfilled that she barely has had the time to really figure out who she is and what she wants from life (If we’re talking Maslow’s pyramid of needs, Katniss would primarily be stuck on the lowest tier 😢)

At least, we’ll be friends, I think. Nothing will change the fact that we’ve saved each other’s lives in here. And beyond that, he will always be the boy with the bread. Good friends. - Honestly, Katniss counting on being good friends with Peeta after the Games is the highest honor she can bestow on him at that moment (she’s so into him, lol); of course, knowing that their relationship is going to be a bit rocky once they’ve come back makes this thought a little sad... but we also know they’ll make up (and out ;) in the future

Peeta licking his plate and blowing a kiss out to Effie is such an adorable goofball-moment 😊

I cover his mouth with my hand, but I’m laughing. “Stop! Cato could be right outside our cave.” He grabs my hand away. “What do I care? I’ve got you to protect me now,” says Peeta, pulling me to him. - This moment would be so cute (also, Peeta’s so confident in Katniss’s skills to protect him, which is adorable - toxic masculinity who?) but... Ugh, he’s just so giddy here, it kind of breaks my heart for when he learns later that (at least some) of Katniss’s reactions were just for show

“If we want food, we better head back up to my old hunting grounds,” I say. “Your call, Just tell me what you need me to do,” Peeta says. - Love how Peeta’s always ready to follow Katniss’s lead :)

Ideally, I’d dump Peeta now with some simple root-gathering chore and go hunt [...] “Katniss,” he says. “We need to split up. I know I’m chasing away the game.” [...] “Show me some plants to gather and that way we’ll both be useful.” - Teamwork! If it weren’t for Katniss worrying for Peeta’s safety, they’d be on the same page here

“What if you climbed up in a tree and acted as a lookout while I haunted?” I say, trying to make it sound like very important work. “What if you show me what’s edible around here and go get us some meat?” he says, mimicking my tone. - I really like how Peeta’s challenges Katniss here; he doesn’t just go along with everything she says, while still being quite reasonable

I feel like I’m eleven, again, tethered not to the safety of the fence but to Peeta, allowing myself twenty, maybe thirty yards of hunting space. [...] I allow myself to drift farther away, and soon have two rabbits and a fat squirrel to show for it. - I don’t know, but Katniss feeling tethered to Peeta makes me think of Mary Ainsworth’s attachment theory, according to which children with a secure attachment to their primary caregiver use their “attachment figure as a safe base to explore the environment”... Of course, Ainsworth’s Strange Situation was conducted with young children, but attachment styles are supposed to influence the relationships we form with people in our later lives as well (including romantic relationships)... I dunno, just a random association that popped into my brain 😅

Chapter 24

Peeta’s a whiz with fires, coaxing a blaze out of the damp wood. - Heh, Peeta sure knows how to handle fire, huh, Katniss (or should I say: Girl on Fire?) 😏

I order him into the sleeping bag and set aside the rest of his food for him when he wakes. He drops off immediately. I pull the sleeping bag up to his chin and kiss his forehead, not for the audience, but for me. Because I’m so greateful that he’s still here, not dead by the stream as I’d thought. - Aww, this is so sweet (and domestic)!

It’s funny. I feel almost as if it’s the first day of the Games again. That I’m in the same position. [...] But no, there’s the boy waiting beside me. I feel his arms wrap around me. - They are a team! Katniss doesn’t have to face the horrors of the Games alone anymore! It keeps boiling down to this.

#thgagain #thg #hunger games #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #thg meta #my sketches and drawings #everlark

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pascalina · 3 years

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The brothers' movie

11/07/2015

They don't use the same last name, but they are siblings. Pedro Pascal (40) the Chilean actor who starred in Game of Thrones and now has a starring role in the Netflix series Narcos, uses his mother's surname because it is easier to pronounce in English. 17 years younger, Lucas Balmaceda Pascal (23), also an actor, debuted in Los 80 and today stars in the TVN series Juana Brava. Here, both talk for the first time about their relationship, their love for cinema and their mutual admiration.

José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal was born in Chile, but a few months later he had to go into exile with his parents and his older sister, Javiera, to Denmark. It was the end of 1975. Thanks to the Rockefeller scholarship granted for his father, the doctor José Balmaceda Riera, a year later they moved to the United States: first they lived in San Antonio, Texas. Life there was just beginning and it was not easy.

Seventeen years later, in 1992, Lucas Balmaceda was born in Orange County, California, into the comfort of a family that was financially in its prime. His dad was at the peak of his career: as a fertility specialist and director of one of the University of California's reproductive health centers. But suddenly they moved back to Chile when Lucas was three years old and his brother Nicolas was eight. The two older ones stayed there. Pedro was already studying drama at Orange County High School of the Arts. Then he went to New York to study theater at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University.

After a couple of small appearances in TV series, in 2014 he took the big leap in his career: he played Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones, which made him world famous. Today, he has a starring role in the series Narcos. He is also filming a movie with Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe.

Fame came early for Lucas. After leaving Saint George High School in 2010, he studied theater at the Universidad Católica, and he began to shine: in year fourth, he starred in the theater play "La noche obstinada", by choreographer Pablo Rotemberg, and got a role in the successful television series Los 80 and today, in his last year, he is the co-star of Juana Brava, the new TVN nighttime series.

Scene one:

Lucas appears in Pedro's life

P: "I was 17 when Lucas was born. He was a baby when I left to go to university. I remember my first visit back and Lucas, who was not even two years old, was already the owner of the house. I remember those looks, wanting to tell me: 'I don't know who you are, but this is my house, mate.

To this day I have never seen that personality in another child. It was fascinating to see that wit in someone so small. Since he was a kid he had that fierce intelligence... The four siblings, Javiera, the eldest and the queen of the family; Nicolas, the doctor; Lucas and I are like a compact and consistent unit. I can't imagine life without them".

L: "Pedro was studying at the university in New York when I was born. When he went home for vacations to see the family, as I didn't know him, I thought: 'who is this guest, who is this weirdo who kisses my mother? She's mine!'. Back in Chile, every year Pedro came to visit us. It was the most entertaining thing in the world for me. He was much older and he would come with all the coolness, with all the culture of cinema, with horror movies that were not available here. Then we would watch them and play them out, we would do sketches. We would play that Pedro was a murderous monster and we would escape from him. We were each a character. He was very funny, he did voices, he impersonated people. He gets mad when I tell him, but I've always found that he has a Jim Carrey thing about him, he manages to make some impressive faces. When he came on, I couldn't stop watching him, he was too entertaining. We are all big movie buffs thanks to my dad. When I was three years old, he took my brothers and me to see Batman. I remember crying hysterically. I was very young, sensitive, and being in the cinema was like entering to another reality: loud noises, giant screen. I didn't understand anything.

Scene two

Transplanted

P: "What's Chilean about me and what's gringo about me is a very interesting question, because I don't think even at 40 years old I've been able to figure it out. I was raised and educated in the United States and socialized a lot with American pop culture, but Chilean pride has always been unwavering. My parents were exiled for eight years. So our visits to Chile were regular. My whole life I have lived in the United States and my whole life I have visited my relatives in Chile. However, since my siblings were raised in Chile, my connection to the country is much stronger today and it is something I am grateful for. Something that happens to me a lot is that when I say I've been in the U.S. my whole life, they say, "Well, you're a gringo then! And after a conversation in my fluent Spanish with a clear Chilean accent that same person turns around and says: I've been listening to you, you're Chilean!

L: "I am Chilean because I lived and grew up here since I was three years old, but at the same time I have a cultural disconnection: my parents lived 25 years in the United States, my brothers are gringos. My visual culture is super gringo, the TV shows I watched when I was a kid or the movies I watch to this day I understand them from that place: as an American. More than being born in the United States, I feel it's because of my family's background".

SCENE THREE:

The performance

P: "There were good years and bad years (when I started my acting career in the United States). Many years I was a waiter to supplement my income. But from a very young age I was auditioning for professional jobs. In my late twenties my career in the theater was relatively consistent. Then, when opportunities in television arose, I was consolidating and it became much easier to pay my expenses. I think that struggle, going through those situations, empowers you a lot and it's one of the things I'm enormously grateful for. And Game of Thrones was an incredible gift. It's the best role I've ever played and they're the best people I've ever worked with."

L: "It's Pedro's fault that I wanted to be an actor. But when I told him I wanted to study theater it was hard for him, more than anything, because he cares about me and studying theater is hard. You have to be very wise and have a super high self-esteem to take care of yourself. Pedro went through many things. If there is an actor who doesn't have contacts in the United States, it's him. Everything he has achieved is because of his work. That's why when people ask me why I don't go to the U.S., it's a resounding no. Being Pedro Pascal's little brother is not going to get me around the corner; I would have to be Tom Cruise's twin to achieve anything. Even so, Pedro had many failed career starts. In 2011, for example, he was offered a starring role in a series called Wonder Woman and it was eventually canceled. That's why, when Games of Thrones came up, I was like, wow! We were all freaking out, because Games of Thrones is like a worldwide trending topic. All the episodes he was in, we were all watching them together at my house, eating pizza or sushi."

SCENE FOUR:

Mutual lessons

P: "I try not to get too involved in anything Lucas does or how he does it. He has single-handedly created each of his experiences and is one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen. He loves his work and is continually developing his skills for television and theater, and eventually film. He executes like a real artist and, to be honest, it is more common for me to learn something from him than for him to learn something from me. I mean that very sincerely. Lucas reminds me to work hard and keeps me inspired. When I saw him in Los 80 I was incredibly proud, but not surprised. I was seeing something I had always known. The only advice I've given him is to not be such a workaholic, to take care of himself and to be proud of what he's accomplished and what he still has yet to accomplish. Deep down, I'm always going to be the protective big brother."

L: "Pedro is an object of admiration for me. What he says is law for me. Sometimes I ask him: 'Pedro, did you see that movie?' and he says: 'Yes, I didn't like it'. I tell him: 'Oh, I didn't like it either'. The nice thing about our relationship is that it happens so sporadically, once or twice a year, that the moments when we see each other are very intense. We either fight a lot or we love each other too much, but it's always like a story, like a movie. While he's there and I'm here, we talk a lot on WhatsApp and Facebook".

P: "With Lucas we always keep each other up to date on what movies to watch, what TV shows are good. I bug him all the time asking him about what's going on in his life and I'm always asking him about his perspective on things. Despite being away from each other for a long time, Lucas and I are very close and always have been. I see Lucas at the beginning of an amazing career, with an unwavering curiosity and passion. I love it when he confides in me about things he is enjoying or situations he is dealing with."

L: "I've never seen Pedro in theater, but I've been told he's tremendous. On camera, I find that he has a very intense look. He also has, and in that we are very similar, a very strong visual culture, the fact that we have always liked horror movies. He plays characters that hide something, dark characters. A great strength is that he is very sensual, he knows how to handle himself well from seduction".

P: "Lucas is brave, he's fearless. There's nothing he's not willing to try, he's never going to give up on a challenge, he's never going to leave something halfway, no matter what that means to him. Lucas is unstoppable.

Link interview

#pedro pascal #lux pascal #siblings

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mikeshanlon · 3 years

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i really enjoy the way young royals explores the theme of legacy and how detrimental it can be to have to live up to a legacy or be obsessed with reputation. (analysis and thoughts under the cut)

i think wilhelm resents the fact that he has to live up to the role of being in the royal family and yet is very afraid of ruining that legacy bc of all the pressure. before he was sent off to hillerska he went to a normal school and wanted normal people around him and was content with erik having to take on the responsibilities of crown prince. and when he does have to assume that role he says he can never be erik, that he’s always had to be compared to him and obviously doesn’t like that. but even before erik passed and he had to take on those duties he was afraid of fucking up the legacy of the crown, when he sees that sign in the hallway that says you are in charge of your own legacy after he holds hands with simon, his anxiety worsens. you can tell it’s been instilled in him for a long time that what is most important is the crown’s reputation rather than his own wants. in the scene where him and simon fight about alexander being caught, he obviously wants simon to stay, but he focuses on how him doing drugs will fuck up his family’s reputation if it gets leaked. as much as he cares for simon, his legacy and his duties are like this oppressive cloud hanging over him.

i do think that wille cares for his family of course but to me it’s different that the sort of loyal unconditional care with simon and his sister/mom. erik and wille had unconditional love, erik understood how difficult being a prince in the public eye was, and wille obviously cared for him deeply and felt like he could to talk to him about issues. his relationship with the queen is much more strained, she wants a tailored, doctored representation of him in the media, he cannot be anxious and bite his nails, she makes all the decisions for him. family is important to wille partially because it has to be bc of how special his family is. he helps his family, he helps august pay his tuition, and then makes a point of disowning august after his betrayal as his new “brother”. but again, because of the royal status and expectations upon the family, that supersedes and colors all of their relationships with each other. it seems to be more a sense of “duty” than unconditional love. especially after erik’s death, wille always has to consider how the crown’s image will be impacted, even though he never wanted to have this responsibility, or even the responsibility of being the “regular” prince under erik. being a family unit that is under constant public scrutiny is going to strain relationships. the queen knows that the anxiety of fucking up his legacy will get to him, and she uses that to get wilhelm to back out of admitting it was him in the video and coming out. wilhelm has to choose between his own happiness and their reputation, is forced to think that denying it’s him in the video is the only way. he loves simon and wanted to live freely, but that pressure of legacy won out.

i don’t know if i think wille necessarily values the crown over his own personal happiness and relationships, like in the way maybe the queen does--i don’t think it comes from a place of “i’m lucky to be prince and owe my duty to the crown, so i do what i have to do to stay that way” (like how the queen said the crown is a privilege not a punishment), but from fear of destroying the legacy and his family. afterall, he still wanted to pursue a secret relationship with simon, i think if he fully valued the crown and uplifting legacy and fulfilling his duties he wouldn’t have tried that. he wouldn’t have made a point to tell simon he loves him. hopefully we get another season because i think with the iconic ending revolution rendition and him looking in the camera, which also parallels the shot of him being forced to apologize/go to hillerska, he is realizing that focusing on legacy is taking away what’s important to him, and he’s going to shake shit up.

august is definitely the most obsessed with legacy, wanting to carry on his father’s business, being persistent on befriending wilhelm and trying to social climb, wanting power and perfection with being prefect, rowing captain etcetera. he is so obsessed with perfection and reputation he gets addicted to drugs, he fucks with simon and makes him get stuff for parties he can’t afford because good parties will make him look better, he manipulates sara multiple times, he mostly wanted felice because of her nobility, he fucking films wilhelm and simon and OUTS him, his own cousin. he hates that wille has everything he wants but isn’t as interested in preserving and more importantly improving the legacy he’s inheriting. meanwhile august’s familial legacy is dwindling, and he holds on to the last bit of assets and names that he can.... v much sick and a weirdo that shows how harmful being obsessed with legacy is

the queen is of course v focused on legacy and it really breaks my heart and makes me angry that she doesn’t care about wilhelm’s happiness more than their reputation, and moreso doesn’t get august in trouble for literally leaking child p*rn of her kid for the sake of appearances?!?!?! like how is he even remotely trustworthy she is wrong for that! like i said earlier the obsession with legacy puts a strain on their mother/son relationship. she doesn’t even really say anything about wille’s sexuality or his relationship, and barely comforts him, mostly goes in with a plan she’s already concocted without him to fix everything.

erik seemed to understand and accept his role as crown prince but obviously had issues with it as well, like when he makes the plan for him and wilhelm to run from the press, or when he tells wilhelm to enjoy himself while there aren’t so many eyes on him that care. erik shows someone who has more unconditional love and empathy but still has to focus on legacy and is much more inclined to continue his legacy, but we do see those glimpses over how even the most “ideal” attitude of preserving legacy causes issues.

felice is expected to live up to her mother’s legacy, of being an equestrian, of being the lucia, but she doesn’t want either of those things. her mother wants her to be thinner and straighten her hair, and find someone of nobility to be with. obviously she does find wilhelm attractive lol but i think the main reason she pursued him and definitely why she pursued august was because she was expected to social climb and have royal kids. felice feels the need to portray a false narrative of herself on social media to uphold a certain image of herself. it’s very fucked up that her mom wants those values instilled in her but i love that felice was putting up boundaries and pushing back against her mother and the narrative she’s supposed to live up to. her giving sara the role of lucia and focusing on supporting her friends more in the latter half of the season shows growth and i’m excited to see where her story goes.

sara is interesting because she seems to want to reject the legacy of her family and being working class and to fit in with the elite of hillerska. sara hates micke, hates that simon contacted him because it’s bringing in this “shameful” and painful part of their past (which i mean is def fair). other than sara’s betrayal in 1.06, i think the scene where she tells her family that she wants to reside at hillerska really exemplifies where she’s at in her relation to legacy/class. after dining at hillerska and living amongst the elite she gets annoyed at eating around the TV, she blames her mother for not leaving micke sooner, she gets angry with simon for caring for her. she wants to lead her own life, be popular and wanted because people want her, not for pity (even though i think simon of course truly cares abt his sister she feels annoyed with his protection and care). felice says early on that she thinks sara doesn’t care what other’s think or having friends, and sara says she still wants friends though. i think sara’s biggest thing is she wants to belong, her and simon moved schools after she was bullied for being autistic so i think that definitely affected her even though she tries to act nonchalant about hillerska at first. we see sara’s longing to fit in in smaller ways at first, like her asking her mom for a better piece of her uniform because hers are “cheap” and already worn out. she gets annoyed at simon for chewing loudly, or her mother sitting casually at the table. as she gets closer to felice and madison and all the other students, the allure of the upper class and their lifestyle draws her in more. so much to the point where she gets very anxious and upset at the idea of her and simon leaving hillerska because he’s having his own crisis and doesn’t consider his pov. so much so that she effectively betrays simon and felice, the people she’s closest to, to make a deal (and make out lol) with august to room there and “be just like him”. personally i think sara’s attraction to august is mostly that allure of the elite and that he seemed to “desire” her when he kissed her because he was being a manipulative dickhead--again that want to fit in and be wanted. and i think there is a really interesting angle of jealousy and competition in female friendships, even if it is really subtle or not intentionally insidious or anything, sara does slowly start to trying to assume all the roles/fashions/mannerisms of felice to live that life she wants. i do think felice and sara’s care for each other is genuine and one of my fave parts of the show, but i think a lot of people who experienced being a teen girl know how we are always pitted against each other even in our subconscious because of how society treats and values women.

simon seems to be the character that is least interested in upholding legacy and tradition or giving a fuck what anyone thinks (as omar said here lmao) and that makes him a really interesting foil to wilhelm. there could be something said about micke fearing that simon is following in his footsteps, but to me that plot more so reveals how the upper class (august) continually exploit the working class for their benefit, and the trappings of generational oppression. the other thing that can be said is simon signing up for private tutoring and rowing, but again i think that serves to further show that he is forced to “play” by the game of the elites because the school/society is corrupt, and also, that simon has further ambitions outside of where he’s at. he wants to get good grades because he wants to explore new places and avenues. to me simon’s biggest motivations are his passions, the things and people he loves--music, his family, wilhelm. he isn’t loyal to others just because he’s expected to be, or uphold a certain image but because he really cares. he doesn’t watch out for sara because that’s his expected role as her brother to do so, but because he cares. he wasn’t interested in knowing wilhelm because he’s a prince like everyone else, he makes it clear he thinks the royal family are privileged and exploitative, but he is interested because he saw the real wilhelm. he’s out and proud even though his elite classmates are more conservative, he doesn’t care about voicing his unpopular opinions, he has no problem walking away from august’s dickhead behavior or calling him out on his shit. simon doesn’t care if people don’t think of him in the best light. (the only exceptions ig are the drugs conflict and the video, though literally anyone would have a problem with that because it’s much deeper that public opinion and has ramifications and is deeply traumatic--but just adding that before someone is like “well actually!”) i also think it’s interesting that most of the songs simon sings has themes of pushing back against the societal norms, and being remembered in history, plus of course the revolution song motif, and how much those songs affect wilhelm, he seems to connect deeply, like he wishes he could do those things but simon is the one who gets to sing them and actually live them.

#young royals #the way this is 2k words lmfao #i do not expect ppl read to this but when the analytical worm starts gnawing on my rottin brain i must oblige

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plentyoffandoms · 3 years

Text

Lie About Us (Part 5)

Daniel Garcia x f/Reader

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Warnings: Some swearing.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me.

Main Masterlist ♡ AEW Masterlist ♡ Lie About Us Masterlist ♡ Daniel Garcia Masterlist ♡ Jon Moxley Masterlist

Summary: F/Reader is the daughter of Jon Moxley & starts to date Daniel Garcia. The only problem is, she hasn't told her father.

Daniel Garcia's POV:

"You like her kid?" I nodded my head.

"I do...a lot. I know we just started to date but she just the most amazing woman I have met. We can talk for hours about anything." I said to him.

"Just treat her right and Jon may come around." Eddie said to me as he patted my back.

The two of us left the locker room and went our separate ways.

I flew out to Y/N and just like she said, she was there waiting to pick me up.

We spent the whole time together. We would go out to eat or we took turns cooking. We even went dancing and I hate dancing but I would do anything for her.

Our relationship became public when someone spotted us out on a date and took photos of us kissing.

'JON MOXLEY'S DAUGHTER DATING RIVAL DANIEL GARCIA.' Was all over social media.

I hated it but it didn't seem to bother her. "Why doesn't it bother you?" I asked her after I scrolled through social media and seeing all the comments.

"I grew up around this. My Dad was on TV, in magazines and when he took my mom to court for custody of me, the press had a field day with it. Same when he first found out about me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I was born when he was 14 years old. My mom was 16 and never told him she was pregnant until she saw him on TV. She took him to court for back child support because she realised she could get a lot of money from him and the press found out."

"Oh yeah, that makes sense."

"Enough of this Daniel. You have to leave tomorrow and I want to spend the rest of time in bed."

I barely let her get that sentence out before I was chasing her to her bedroom.

The next day I was on my flight to Georgia. I hated to leave her but I would be seeing her in a couple of weeks.

I have a match against Jack tomorrow, so my focus was on him. But in the back of my mind Y/N was always there.

Y/N'S POV:

I was on my way to my Dad's house to try and talk to him. Renee told me he doesn't leave until tonight.

I knocked on the door and he answered. We didn't say anything even when we heard Renee to let me in.

Which he sighed and stepped aside so I could walk in.

"We have to talk." I said to him.

"Yeah we do, my office." The tension in the air was thick as we walked side by side to his office.

He allowed me in first and he closed the door behind him. We sat on either side of the desk.

Both of us are beyond stubborn and didn't want to be the first one to speak, but I knew I had too.

"You could of returned my calls Dad."

"Why? You were busy making out in public with the little shit." I guess he saw the photo.

"It was one kiss and that is what couples do on a date." I sighed. "I don't know why you are being like this Dad."

"Want to know why I am?"

I threw my hands up the air as I said yes.

"It's because you didn't tell me and when you did it was the day I had a match against him. I saw the hickies and the scratches and to know you did that made me angry."

I was going to say something but he kept talking.

"Daniel isn't good enough for you and never will be. He is just using you to get me mad so I will do something to get my contract terminated."

I sat there stunned.

"Where the hell did you hear that?" I asked calmly.

"No where but I know how people like him think."

"He isn't like that Dad. We met when I was running late for lunch with you that day. He asked for my number before he knew I was your daughter."

"No, no, he knew the whole time. I just know it."

"Dad you are acting crazy."

"It's either him or the family Y/N."

"Pardon me?" He can't be serious.

"You heard me Y/N. It's either him or us."

I blinked a few times. "Goodbye Dad. I chose him." I stood up and turned to walk away.

I heard him get out of his chair and slam his hand on his desk.

"You can not seriously be picking him over me?" He asked as I was just about to open the door. I paused but did not turn around to face him.

"Call me when your mind clears from this rage that you have in you Dad. I still love you but I will not be forced to stop seeing the man I love."

I haven't even told Daniel I love him yet but I told my Dad.

I opened the door and I walked down the hall to the front door. Renee and Nora were in the livingroom.

Renee looked at my face and saw that I was angry.

"Y/N..." I pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. I also kissed Noras' cheek as well.

"Goodbye Renee. Your husband forced me to chose between him and Daniel. If you need me, you know my number. Goodbye Nora."

And I was out the front door. The door was barely closed behind me as I heard Renee scream my Dads name in pure anger.

I started to drive just to clear my head when my phone started to ring. I smiled when I recognised the number.

"Hey baby. How was your flight."

"It was good, just at my hotel. Going out to dinner soon with Jesse and Laura. What have you been up too?"

I took a deep breath and told him. He was shocked. "He thinks I'm using you to get to him?"

"Yes Daniel."

"Well I hope you know that isn't true."

"Of course I know it isn't true."

"And he made you chose between me and him?"

"Yes."

"And you picked me?"

"Of course I did."

"Why? He is your Dad."

"Why? Because I love you and he can't tell me who I can and cannot be with." Men.

"Wait, you love me?" Shit, I was hoping he didn't catch that part.

"Because I love you too Y/N."

We talked for a few more minutes until he had to leave.

"I'll talk to you later tonight. Love you."

"Love you too handsome. Also maybe stay away from my Dad when you see him."

"Will do gorgeous."

Part 6

Tag List: if you would like to be added, please let me know. @lghockey @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @kawaiikels @brittsdmd

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all-my-love-for-harry · 4 years

Text

Celebrate you.

summary: Slowly, step by step, harry is becoming a dad.

word count: 1.9k

based on these requests:

“i legit am obsessed with your single mum series! can you do one where they all have a movie night? i think that would be sooo cute”

and

“Awwww now I’m thinking about Harry’s first Father’s Day with artimis. Thy make him his favorite food and gives harry the card he made for him 😭😭😭😭😭”

and

“for my shy little boy, what would harry’s first fathers day be like”

and

“Father’s Day gift for Harry from Artemis”

and

“Artemis celebrating Father’s Day with Harry”

a/n: had so many father’s day requests, sorry i took so long but here it is! send me some concepts revolving the pregnancy pls, i feel like we haven’t touched that subject!

you can find more of my shy little boy here

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

June, 2019.

It could be raining, there could be a storm, hell, the sky could be falling apart but Harry would always make it to Y/N’s house on Saturday, with his hands full of takeout and an overnight bag to spend the night with them.

Staying in on the weekend was never something Harry used to do before. However, now the thing he looked forward the most was quiet, relaxing quality time with his girlfriend and her son. For him, it was the domesticity of it all. It was the feeling of craving something all week around that when the time comes, you can’t get enough of it. To Harry, the thing he couldn’t get enough of was the little life he’s been building with Artemis and Y/N for the past year and so.

Nothing was able to wipe the smile off of his face as he drove to the Y/L/N’s household after a long, exhausting week of working on his new album. Harry has missed the last movie night due scheduled meetings he had in LA that he couldn’t cancel, so he was very excited to finally them again in real life, and not only through a screen.

“Harry, Harry, you’re here!” Artemis was the one who opened the door, chanting his name while hugging his longs legs.

“Artemis, I’ve told you to now open the door without me there.”

“It was Harry, mum. I saw him through the window.”

“Oh, so you were waiting for me?” Harry playfully pinched one of his cheeks, making him blush. “Hi, love. I missed ya.” The green eyed man smiled sweetly at the woman in front of him. She looked beautiful although she was just dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a shirt that was probably his. Her hair was up in a messy, high ponytail and the makeup she had on earlier was already wiped off. He looked down at the little blonde boy and saw he was in his pajamas already. “I bought Chinese this time, that okay?”

Y/N nodded, taking the takeout bags from him to bring them to the kitchen, not without giving Harry a little kiss on the lips before doing so. “It’s perfect. I missed you too.”

Once she was out of sight, Harry felt how someone pulled from his pants and when he looked down, Artemis was already looking at him with big, doe hazel eyes. “Can I get a hug?”

Harry’s heart melted. “Course you can. Always.” He took him in his arms and held him close to his chest, breathing in the vanilla essence of his shampoo. Hugging Artemis has become one of his favorite things in the whole world, and one of the things he wanted to do all the time. Harry walked towards the living room with Artemis still in his arms. “What are we watching tonight?”

“Can we watch Trollhunters?” He asked excitedly.

The older man chuckled, having already expected that answer. They binged watched the entire series a couple times and Artemis absolutely loved it every time, and who was Harry to say no to that adorable face?

“Harry?! Can you help me with these?” Y/N’s voice was heard from the kitchen. Harry got up from his seat and told Artemis to wait for them to bring the food so they could start with their movie night.

When the three of them were finally on the couch, Artemis being in the middle of both adults, they pressed play on the TV. Harry had his plane on his lap and was also holding Artemis’, the little boy being too busy on watching the television Harry had to grab his fork and feed him bites of the fried rice he knew he liked. Y/N just observed from the other side of the couch, a smile forming on her face. The two boys looked completely absorbed in their own little world and Harry looked like a pro feeding a five year old with one hand an eating his own food in the other.

Harry sensed Y/N’s stare and looked at her, he wiggled his eyebrows at her, making her giggle quietly. I love you, he mouthed before sighing contently. This was what he has been wanting to do all week. A night with no worries, no stress, something as mundane as watching television has become his favorite thing just because it was something he did with the two of them.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

The weekend passed by and soon Monday rolled in, which meant it was time to go back on their normal routines. To Y/N, her routine was wake up and make breakfast, then wake her boy up and make sure he was ready on time for her to drop him off at school then drive to work. She needed to make sure she left her office at the same time every day so she could go pick Artemis up from school in time.

What happened afterwards was variable. If Y/N had to give any conferences in her home office, she’d drop Artemis at her moms’ and go pick him up after she finished or if she was free for the day, they’d just chill at home.

This Monday wasn’t any different from any other. Y/N held Artemis’ hand as they walked down the hall of his school to get to her car and drive home. Artemis was telling her about his day as she strapped him on his car seat. “My teacher said this Sunday’s the day they celebrate daddies.”

To Y/N, it didn’t go unnoticed the way he said ‘they’ instead of ‘we’, and she felt how her heart fell to his stomach. The truth was, Artemis has never celebrated Father’s day, simply because there wasn’t no one he could celebrate with. Usually he wouldn’t mind, but Y/N knew it will as he grew older. She sighed, humming a response to him as she got in the driver’s seat.

“Can we do something that day?” He asked, Y/N looked at him through the rearview, trying to read his thoughts.

“What do you want to do, baby?” She said, hoping and praying it was something she was actually able to give him.

“Something for Harry.” At her boy’s words, Y/N almost crashed the damn car out of pure shock. It wasn’t a secret at all how much Artemis looked up to Harry, or how much the man adored her child, but perhaps it was a little soon to celebrate Father’s day with him.

Does Harry deserve it? Damn straight. He’s done more for Artemis than his biological father would ever do. Doctor appointments, nightmares, late night grocery shopping because the boy craved a candy it was only sold in the store in the other side of London, you name it. However, they haven’t been in that stage of their relationship yet, and Y/N was afraid it would overwhelm Harry.

The case was, Harry did deserve to be celebrated, not just the third Sunday of June every year, but all year around. The things he do, the love he held for Artemis… it was something worth to be celebrated. So Y/N sucked up her fears and insecurities and promised they would surprise Harry that Sunday.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

Y/N hasn’t done anything like this before. She has searched for ideas on Pinterest so they could make something special, but she still had no experience whatsoever. Usually, when in school children had to do a craft work for Father’s day, Artemis’ teacher would just put Y/N’s name on it. However, this year she had asked to put Harry’s name on it.

“Not daddy, not dad, not father. Just Harry.” The teacher verified, writing down on her notebook before looking up at Y/N.

She nervously played with her hands as she answered. “Just Harry, please.”

Turns out this year they made the kids make cards for their daddies, asking them to draw what they loved the most about them. Artemis didn’t let his mum see what he did back in his classroom, claiming Harry should be the first one to see it and Y/N was more than happy to obey.

Besides the card, Y/N has picked out a few other things for Harry, and also made sure to have all the ingredients to make his favorite food in her kitchen. Harry had stayed over, as usual. Artemis was so excited he almost blurted their plans to him twice, but Y/N was able to stop him.

On Sunday morning, Y/N woke up extra early and went out of bed trying to be as quiet as possible then walked down the hall to get her son, who was already awake and ready to run to her room where Harry was to wake him up.

“We have to make breakfast first, honey.” She told him before picking him up to take him to the kitchen. “We have to be quiet.” Artemis nodded rapidly from his seat on the island. “You’ll give him your card first then the others gifts we have, okay?”

Y/N cooked breakfast as fast as she could, knowing Harry would be awake and looking for them in no time. She placed the waffles with blueberries on top next to the plate with an omelet made with all the ingredients Harry liked such as dried tomatoes and mint. She could barely put the orange juice in a glass when Harry entered the kitchen still half asleep.

“Surprise!” Both Y/N and Artemis exclaimed with a big smile.

Harry opened his eyes in surprise, seeing the kitchen full of his favorite food, plus a couple of green balloons and gifts set on the counter. “What’s all of this?”

“It’s for you, Harry.” Artemis said, hopping off the kitchen island with the help of his mum. “I made this for you.”

Harry looked up at Y/N, who gave him an encouraging smile. He sat on one of the high chairs and pulled the small boy on his lap before opening the card he had in his hands.

“My teacher asked me to draw what I love about you. This is you with a rainbow suit because you like color, and you’re giving one of your concerts like the one mummy and I went to see one time.” Artemis explained, pointing out all the details of the card from his place on Harry’s lap.

Perhaps Artemis has drawn Harry with circles and sticks, and the ‘stage’ he was supposed to be standing on looked more like a square in the middle of the paper, but to Harry it was the most beautiful thing he has ever since in his entire life, and it brought tears to his eyes knowing Artemis has made this for him. His lip started trembling when he saw the little ‘I love you, Harry ☺❤’ at the bottom of the card. It was a messy handwrite, proper for a five year old, and it was that what made it so damn perfect.

“Today we’re celebrating you, Harry.” Y/N stepped in, wrapping her hands around his shoulders from behind and kissed his cheek. “We love you.”

“We love you, Harry!” Artemis said, joining the hug excitedly.

With a couple of tears rolling down his eyes and a heart that was ready to explode out of love and adoration for the two people that were standing there with him, he managed to let out a sincere, soft ‘I love you so much more’.

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

taglist!!

@myfavfanficsever @odetostep @la-cey @cock-a-doodely-doo @awkwardbullfrog @mellamolayla @moorgannn @bagtan-serendipity @awesomebooklover17 @finelineribs @sunnybusiness @beanholland @sweetenerstyle @cronias13 @vhsharry @maisley @seasidecrowbar @stylesfics-xx @autumnpauley20 @fineline-hs1 @stephaniemalvie @immajustreadwritereblog @jadert15 @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @abundanceofsoph @harrysthicccthighs

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles fluffy imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #dad!harry #stepdad!harry #harry styles au

729 notes · View notes

melanielocke · 3 years

Text

Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 25

AO3

Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised@alastair-appreciation-month

Previous Chapter: Chapter 24

Next Chapter: Chapter 26

Uncle Jem had brought several of the Carstairs family’s old notebooks, and the past week they’d spend studying them to see if there was anything interesting. They’d rescued Grace, but no one had been able to find Tatiana since, nor did they know what they were up against exactly and if they could defeat it. Cordelia believed cortana could kill it, but walking in with no plan would just get them all killed.

Thomas felt like they were running out of time. He hadn’t told anyone yet, but he felt tired lately, much more than usual. For Alastair that was normal, he guessed, Alastair was always tired and therefore Thomas had no reason to complain. Still, it was odd and sudden. Then he’d gotten a bit of a headache, and right now he struggled to finish his lunch, which was already much smaller than what he usually ate. He’d eaten much less than he usually did the past days, truth to be told. He just didn’t have the same appetite. He was feeling a little chilly too, but guessed he should just put on a cardigan.

‘Are you alright, Tommy?’ his mother asked. ‘You’ve been eating so little lately.’

‘Just nervous, that’s all,’ Thomas said.

The thing was, Thomas didn’t usually eat less when he was nervous. If anything he ate more, he’d always been a stress eater. Instead he figured he was coming down with something. Someone else might just have said, ‘I think I’m getting sick, I’m going to rest a bit’, but after a childhood of frequent illness and worrying parents Thomas couldn’t get the words over his lips. He’d make sure to rest a bit more, he told himself. But he didn’t want to worry anymore, and he especially didn’t want his parents to start taking care of him like they used to when he was young.

Instead, he returned his attention to Alastair, who had long finished eating and gone outside to read. A ray of sunlight fell on his cheek, illuminating his warm golden brown skin. His eyes were fixated in a journal so old it looked like it might fall apart any moment. Not in Alastair’s careful hands though. He was holding the journal with meticulous care, so no damage would come to it. With his free hand, he pushed a lock of hair behind his ear, but it was not yet long enough to stay there so it fell back in front of his face. Back in school, Alastair would slick his hair back with hair gel, always perfectly in order, not a hair out of place. Thomas, who usually took a comb through his hair and left it at that, had wondered where he found the time. Now it was falling in soft wavy locks over his face. At school Thomas would never have guessed Alastair’s hair was wavy, but it was loose now and Thomas had grown to love gently running his fingers through it. He’d always loved Alastair’s dark hair, he thought. Alastair had shown him a picture from when he’d dyed it blonde, and although that looked alright, Thomas thought his dark hair was much more beautiful.

‘Anything interesting?’ Thomas asked, sitting down on the bench next to Alastair.

A gnome came up to his feet. Thomas and his mother had been feeding them to gain their trust, and not long since the gnomes had learnt that Thomas meant a chance for food. He guessed there were still plenty of cookies he didn’t feel like eating at the moment anyway, but he also wasn’t motivated to go into the kitchen and get anything. Thomas guessed resisting that adorable smile was good practice for when he got pets.

‘Nothing yet,’ Alastair said. ‘But I think I’m getting to the part that described that witch. It might give us some clues about what else Lucie can do.’

‘Have you discussed with Cordelia where you’ll live after the summer?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair had confided in him that even if his mother managed to get back the house and could go and live there, he was considering moving in with uncle Jem for the time being. His father’s house held too many bad memories, and Thomas could understand it would not be good for his recovery to live there again. Alastair had not yet made a decision, but Thomas thought it might be good for him.

‘She has not yet decided what she’ll do,’ Alastair said. ‘She is a bit young to live without her mother after all. Besides, with our mother pregnant it would be better to have someone with her. If she doesn’t get the house back, I presume she would stay with Risa and with me gone there might be enough space for Cordelia as well. But I’m almost nineteen, I figured it might be time to move out. Even if I’m moving in with another relative instead of getting my own place.’

‘That’s just practical, living on your own would be expensive. Besides, Jem won’t be another parent, will he? So you’ll still get to practice your adulting skills in a relatively safe environment. Does Jem live far away from your mother?’

‘Completely different part of London, but still in the city,’ Alastair said. ‘Easy to travel to university from there. It’s a big house, so I’ll really have my own space and get to take care of myself, with Jem still there in case I can’t. I’ve lived there until I was about six. When I was still happy, there are no bad memories tied up to that place. I thought maybe I could be happy again there.’

‘Where does Jem live exactly?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair gently put the notebook away, closing it carefully and putting it down in his lap. He took his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, showing him a screen of google maps with a marker where Jem lived.

‘Oh, that’s not far from where my parents live,’ Thomas said. ‘Only a few stops with the metro. We live close to the station.’

‘I didn’t realize. Well, that’s convenient. Makes it easy to have sleep overs or go out together if we don’t live too far away.’

‘Precisely,’ Thomas said. ‘Would you like to go for a walk when you’re finished here? A short one, I am a little tired. But I’d like some fresh air.’

Alastair carefully bound up his notebook and put it on the table inside with the others, before coming with him.

‘It’s safer to bring Lucie,’ Alastair said. ‘In case we get trapped in between again.’

Alastair had a point, although Thomas would like some time alone with him. He was so busy at work all the time, ever since Jem had arrived he was preoccupied with the journals. Thomas missed their walks.

‘Alright, we’ll walk to uncle Will and aunt Tessa and ask her and Cordelia to come. I’m curious if uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily are coming this way too. Jem said they were struggling to find a babysitter.’

‘Right, for little Alexander,’ Alastair said.

‘And Christopher,’ Thomas added. ‘My other cousin. He’s almost seven now.’

‘What’s he like?’ Alastair asked.

‘Different from Alexander, that’s for sure,’ Thomas said. ‘Alexander is a menace. Sweet, but fierce and hyperactive and if you don’t watch him for two seconds he’s swinging from the curtains somewhere. Christopher… he’s not as wild. He’s curious and is obsessed with science. He likes to do simple experiments, and we sometimes have to keep him from setting things on fire. I’m not sure he realizes “Don’t try this at home” applies to him as well. Fortunately, putting on a science show on tv usually keeps him from blowing anything up. Usually, my sisters and I babysit them when necessary, but he also adores uncle Henry, who is an inventor.’

It occurred to Thomas that Henry was Charles’ father. Sometimes children did not resemble their parents, he guessed. It had been a bit of a shock for everyone to learn that Charles had been Alastair’s former lover. Even if not everyone knew how awful he’d been to Alastair, they all had pieced together how much older Charles was. His father most of all had been horrified, since he’d known Charles since he was a baby. Thomas suspected he’d go confront Charles himself if Alastair hadn’t asked him not to. He knew Alastair was still ashamed of his past relationship and was still trying to make sense of it all. Thomas was glad he’d found trust in him and his parents, even if Thomas suspected Alastair still kept the worst of it to himself. Who could blame him? He wasn’t sure if Alastair finally believed his parents cared about him now, but at least he seemed to trust them which was a big step for Alastair. His mother had told him about her past and how she’d gotten her scar in an attempt to let him know he could talk about it and she understood.

‘As a child I had a phase where I liked science too,’ Alastair said. ‘I think I often had phases like that with different interests. When Cordelia and I were very young, we both loved architecture and played with all sorts of building toys and legos together. I also really liked math for a while. Then the animals from the forests in Devon. I lived there for a while in a small village. I think that’s when I grew a bit obsessed with hedgehogs.’

‘Christopher has been obsessed with science for some time now,’ Thomas said. ‘But we’ll see how it goes and what he’ll like in the future. He’s being assessed for autism and ADHD. He’s a sweet kid, but he struggles socially. Not a lot of friends unfortunately. I honestly think he prefers my company over his peers.’

‘I know what that’s like,’ Alastair said. ‘To be the child with the weird interests and never fit in with other children.’

‘You lived in Devon for a while. What was it like there?’

‘The scenery was amazing. The forests there are beautiful. The people… not so much, I prefer London.’

‘I lived in the countryside for a couple of years too when I was little, for my health. I think where I lived the people were nicer, more involved than in the city.’

Alastair made a face. ‘Not when you’re foreign and your mother wears a roosari. The people in Devon are mostly white. I don’t think Father really considered that when he moved us there, it was mostly about him. They might be kind if you’re part of their group, but they’re hostile to outsiders. Fortunately, we moved back after a couple of years.’

‘Ah, of course,’ Thomas said. ‘I’m sorry.’ He felt stupid for not considering that earlier.

‘Well, people are racist everywhere. But at least in London there are more people of color and people are at least used to the idea that not everyone’s white.’ My mother still gets dirty stares and comments for her roosari, but she’s not the only one who covers her hair. So while in Devon, I much preferred to spend my time in the woods looking for hedgehogs than with other people. I guess I still do.’

Thomas felt a bit numb in his head, shivering even if it wasn’t cold at all. Perhaps going for a walk wasn’t the best idea, but he wanted to spend some time outside just the same. He should have brought something warm to wear, was all. He wasn’t really sick, it was just not as warm as he’d expected. But Alastair wasn’t shivering at all, he seemed to enjoy the sun on his skin. Thomas did too but it didn’t bring him any warmth.

‘You need to go back for a cardigan?’ Alastair asked. ‘There are goosebumps all over your arms.’

‘Oh. No, I’ll be fine.’

Thomas felt faint in the head and by the time they made it to the Herondale’s house, his vision became a little blurry and he collapsed against the door. He was awfully nauseous yet didn’t feel like he was going to throw up. Alastair noticed his sudden movement and his reflexes were quick. He tried to catch him.

‘Why are you so goddamn heavy, Tom,’ he groaned, trying and failing to stop both of them from crashing into the door.

Leaning against Alastair and the door, Thomas pushed himself upright again, blinking a couple of times until he felt he could stand on his own feet again. Alastair’s soft fingers went from his cheek to his forehead, and Thomas immediately recognized what he was doing. It was the same thing his parents and sisters had done his entire childhood. If they didn’t have a thermometer at hand, they’d feel his forehead, his neck, and determine if he was allowed to go anywhere. Alastair was going to determine he was sick and then all that was left was for everyone to tuck him into bed and start taking care of him. Thomas had hoped to avoid that.

‘You’re burning up,’ Alastair said. ‘You should not be going outside, much less for a walk. Come, we’re here anyway, I’m sure you could use the couch.’

Alastair led him inside, one arm around his waist and the other in his hand, and packed him in blankets on the couch, fetching a thermometer and some paracetamol.

‘Alastair,’ Thomas said, trying to piece together words through the headache and light headedness.

‘Just let me get this,’ Alastair said, pushing the thermometer into Thomas’ ear.

‘Alastair,’ Thomas repeated.

’38,6,’ Alastair said. ‘Tom, you have a serious fever. Why didn’t you say anything? I’ll make you some tea, just relax.’

‘Alastair!’ Thomas yelled, startling the boy.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Please don’t. I can make my own tea, I can take my own temperature,’ Thomas said, trying to calm his breath. ‘I hate it when people take care of me. I told you about my sickness as a child. I don’t want things to be like that again, I don’t want to be taken care of. So please, don’t. Just let me do it.’

Alastair sat down next to him. ‘You were about to walk into the woods with a fever. I’ve seen how stubborn you are.’

‘Yes. I am stubborn. I didn’t realize it would be so bad. But please, let me make these mistakes by myself. I don’t want to be treated like a sick child again.’ Thomas paused, blinking away the tears in his eyes. He didn’t realize this would make him so emotional. ‘I always loved that about you, how you believed I could take anything. How you didn’t treat me as if I was fragile because I was small and used to get sick.’

Alastair sighed. ‘I was an ass to you, Tom. It had nothing to do with respect, or thinking you’re strong.’

‘I know, and it did hurt sometimes. But I loved that you believed I could take it. I knew you didn’t mean any of the things you said, and with me, it was always a bit more light hearted, teasing perhaps.

But you never forced me to go to bed and rest when I did not want it. Matthew grew up around me being sick all the time, and I think he learnt from a young age that I was fragile and to be taken care of. James too. But I never wanted that. I’ll rest, I promise. But I’ll make my own tea, alright?’

‘I’m sorry, Tom. You can make your own tea. Make some for me as well?’

Alastair settled onto the couch while Thomas went into the kitchen to put on the kettle, still wrapped in a blanket. He was too cold to go without it. While waiting for the kettle to boil, Thomas realized Alastair did have a point, he could barely stand upright. Still, he was determined to at least do this. If he wanted anything later, he could always ask Alastair. He picked out a selection of tea bags for Alastair and put in a herbal teabag for his own. Thomas didn’t believe herbal tea cured sickness, but it was worth a shot.

He settled back on the couch, wrapped the blankets back around himself and took two paracetamol, hoping that would at least lower the fever.

‘I really can’t believe you think of my being rude to you as something positive,’ Alastair said. ‘I made fun of your height all the time.’

Thomas shrugged from underneath the blanket. ‘I never minded when you called me pipsqueak or wee little Thomas, or, I don’t know, you had plenty to say.’

Alastair raised an eyebrow. ‘You certainly took your revenge.’

Thomas tried to find a comfortable position on the couch, blankets around him. Alastair did have a point with the paracetamol, and Thomas took two. Hopefully they’d lower his fever.

‘Perhaps I’ll start calling you pipsqueak,’ Thomas said. ‘The name suits you much better now.’

Alastair made an undignified sound. ‘I’m not that short.’

‘You’re plenty shorter than me,’ Thomas said. ‘I always kind of liked it, pipsqueak. It sounded sweet even if you meant it to be hurtful. Sometimes I feel like you never really did a good job at being mean anyway.’

‘I never wanted to hurt anyone,’ Alastair said, ‘and I did have a bit of a weak spot for you then. I can be even worse than what you’ve seen, but I save that for bigots.’

Thomas put his hand on Alastair’s cheek. ‘I always thought you were holding back on being mean, even if you could still be quite vicious. But pipsqueak is mine now.’

Alastair looked mortified. ‘I guess I can’t stop you, can I?’

Thomas lay down on the couch, head on a pillow. Why were all these blankets so small? His feet were still cold and he’d have to find a solution for that. Really, blankets should be made for tall people. Nobody short would complain about having a bit of leftover blanket.

‘It’s concerning, that you’re getting sick after all these years,’ Alastair said softly.

‘It’s nothing,’ Thomas said. ‘Everyone gets a fever every once in a while.’

‘I haven’t had a fever in years. Colds, at times, but rarely a fever,’ Alastair said.

‘You don’t get the flu?’ Thomas asked.

‘Not that I remember,’ Alastair said. ‘But I figured that’s just the age, as a child I would get the occasional fever like all children do, and I imagine I’ll get them again when I’m older.’

Thomas had gotten the flu a couple of time over the past years. Never anything serious or with abnormal frequency, but it had sent the entire family into a panic whenever it happened.

‘Please don’t tell my parents,’ Thomas said. ‘That I’m sick, I mean.’

‘How did you plan to keep it from them?’ Alastair asked.

‘Well, I was hoping I’d be better by the next morning,’ Thomas said. ‘I could sleep over here and then when I’m better pretend nothing happened.’

Alastair was skeptical. ‘I really don’t think you’ll feel better that soon, even if it is a normal flu.’

Lucie and Cordelia entered the room through the garden door, Cordelia turning her sword back into the familiar necklace. ‘Those are a lot of blankets,’ Lucie pointed out. She was right, and Thomas moved them around a bit so at least the biggest blanket would cover his feet, reaching up to his waist.

‘We wanted to revisit the ruins,’ Cordelia said. ‘See if there’s anything else that can give us information on Tatiana or the thief of souls. I was wondering if you would be coming.’

‘Thomas is sick,’ Alastair said.

‘Don’t stay behind on my behalf,’ Thomas said.

Alastair frowned. ‘You sure? I would gladly stay here with you.’

‘I think I’m going to get some sleep anyway,’ Thomas said. ‘Please don’t trouble yourself on my behalf. Go, I’ll still be here when you get back.’

‘Get well soon,’ Lucie said, putting her arms around him briefly. ‘You know how the tv works in case you want to watch a movie.’

‘I’ll be alright, Lu. Good luck with your mission.’

Thomas wanted to believe he had just caught the flu. Bad luck, nothing more. But perhaps that wasn’t the case. Perhaps he wouldn’t get better. Perhaps this meant they were running out of time.

#Thomas Lightwood #Alastair Carstairs #Lucie Herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #Thomastair #Lucelia #fanfiction #the last hours #tlh

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seventeensarmy · 4 years

Text

(1) Stuck With You (OT7!Hybrid Au)

Pairing: OT7xReader, Jungkook x Reader, rest will come in the course of the story

Warnings: Toxic parents that lead to toxic relationship to food, reader isn´t eating good, character death (But not in detail), angst, fluff, some technical ballet words (but i explained them and they aren´t that important), tell me if i missed something!

Words: 4.750

Summary: In your society, hybrids are seen as pets, nothing more, not having many rights. You meet the bunny hybrid Jungkook, deciding not to follow the norms of society you befriend him and fall in love. On your journey to a happy life, you meet six other hybrids, who tag along in your journey. (The summary will get better as soon as i know where to go with the story, i promise xx)

Hybrids: New Zealand red rabbit!Jungkook, Black panther!Yoongi, Birman cat!Jimin, Tundra wolf!Namjoon, Red fox!Hoseok, gerberian shepsky!Taehyung, sugar glider!Jin, human!reader

Chapter one

“I´m Jungkook, but I don´t mind you calling me Kookie”

15 years ago (Reader is 6, JK is 7)

How is a child supposed to know what right and what’s wrong? You would expect the parents to teach their child basic human decency, but sometimes it´s the parents who teach their child the exact opposite. You see, hybrids were weren´t a rare sight in your society, a lot of wealthy people owned some. While children loved to play with them, it wasn´t really a secret that adults, who could afford breaking the laws, had other plans with them. It is highly frowned upon, using hybrids, who still didn´t have the same rights as humans, to one’s gain, but at the same time, no one really did something against it. There still are a lot of people that believe that hybrids are just abominations and don´t deserve to be even alive, let alone have rights. Those are the people who want nothing to do with hybrids, who look away when a hybrid is being abused. Those are the people you´ve come to hate.

Those people are your parents.

“But Mother”, you whine, following her through the house, “I wanna go play with Hei Ryung, not with her hybrid. I won´t even look at her, I promise.” Your mother shakes her head before she turns around, making you almost run into her, but you manage to catch yourself. Her gaze almost makes you flinch backwards, but you stand your ground, though you´re not looking up to her. “If you want to play with your friend, you´re going to have to wait till you see her at school, that way I know for sure no animal will come near you.”, you bite back the urge to correct her, saying that hybrids aren´t animals, like she makes it appear. You´ve met Hei Ryung´s hybrid before, a cute Pomeranian girl, just a bit older than you, but your parents could never find that out, the risk of you and the staff at home being punished was far too high. The last time you got punished you were not only grounded for two weeks, but you also weren´t allowed to attend your ballet classes, which was the only thing, other than school work, you got to do in your spare time.

Sensing that you aren´t going to argue back, your mother puts a smile on, “See, waiting till school isn´t that bad. Also, you need to train more, you´ve got a competition coming and I´ve seen you dance, you still need a lot of practice if you even want to attempt to win a medal.”

Ouch, you swallow. Your mother has always been your strongest critic, always finding something you could´ve done better. Still, you nod, knowing that with her last words the conversation was over and you should go practice.

Practice always ended with your muscles hurting, you weren´t dancing on pointe, your teacher saying you are still too young to dance like that, much to your mothers dismay. If it were up to her you would probably have started wearing pointe shoes as soon as you could walk and you were thankful, that none of your past teachers let her have any say in your training. You were training every day, four times a week with your teacher, the rest of the week alone, sometimes the staff came to watch, but now you think they might have been a bit worried about a six year old girl spending most of her time either in school or the practice room.

.-.-.-..-..-.-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

You were alone again, both of your parents not being at home wasn´t something new. In fact, you hadn´t seen your father in almost three weeks, some business trip to Europe, though he promised to come to your competition in a week. You weren´t sure what your father was doing to earn as much money as he did, you just knew it had something to do with a lot of deals and signed papers, that made him swear in his study upstairs.

As for your mother, you really weren´t sure what she was doing, other than spending your fathers money, though she always said “our money”, but you weren´t asking, you learned fast that, if you are a child, people don´t really care about your opinion (or you in general) and therefore don´t feel the need to talk to you. You overheard her talking to kitchen staff, explaining that she was going on an important trip to Bali for a few weeks (as you grew older you learned that her trips to Bali weren´t really of important nature, more of needy and lying nature, but that´s a different story).

It was always the same; your parents leaving you alone with the staff at home, you´ve come to see them more as your family than your actual family.

Your nanny always took pity on you, when you were training the whole day, letting you watch some TV in the evening, something your parents never allowed you, telling you it´s a distraction, though you found yourself more at ease the next morning as when you would have gone straight to bed or studied some more instead. The kitchen staff also had a soft spot for you, always receiving a strict diet for you from your mother, which left the cook speechless. You never really knew if your diet plan was different than your usual plan, seeing as the chef never made it when your parents were gone. You overheard him talking to you nanny once, complaining how you would become too skinny and weak if he were to actually cook what your mother planned for you. “Sometimes I think she´s crazy”, you once heard them whisper, “That´s not a diet for a child, not that a child should ever be on a diet. The portion size she wants me make is ridiculous, if I would make one dish and give everyone this portion I bet you I could feed half the street!”, the chef raged, he had been your cook since you could think and you sometimes think of him as your father or uncle by the way he cared for you. Your nanny agreed quietly, it wasn´t a secret how the staff thought about your parents, but the chef wasn´t done, you heard paper rustling and figured he was showing her the plan your mother made for you. “Two dishes per day. That woman has no clue how to feed a child. She wants her to eat only two times a day and then compete at a competitive sports competition.”

Needless to say, the staff took better care of you than your parents ever could. Which is why you were now sitting in the far back of the garden, with a box of cookies and a bottle of soda on your side. Today had been your dance competition, you won, but neither your mother, nor your father were there to witness, only your nanny, who gave you a tight hug after you came down. Your nanny was always there for you, always praising you and giving you little rewards for your good work. She and the kitchen staff saw, that though you won, you were still upset over your absent parents, so they told you to go enjoy yourself in the garden and they would bring snacks for you.

After they arrived with the cookies and the soda, you went off to your secret hiding spot in the garden. You knew no one could see you there, leaving you alone to your upset thoughts and snacks that you still didn´t touch.

You remember thinking, that maybe your parents were upset with you and decided not to come as a punishment, or maybe some important business hindered them from coming and they would call in a bit. Your six year old brain couldn´t accept the possibility of your parents simply not caring, it had to be something you did. Your thoughts were interrupted by a rustling coming from the bushes, you sit up straight, “Hello?” you call out. The rustling stops and a figure starts to rise, the first thing you see are... bunny ears? Then a head and in front of you stands a boy, not much older than you. A hybrid. In your garden? You quickly turn around, looking back to the house and let out a relieved breath when you see no one.

“What are you doing here?” you ask the boy as you turn around. He looks at you with big eyes; he looked scared, ready to run if danger should approach. “I was walking around” he explains and you raise your eyebrows, “In my garden?” The boy turned red, “I didn´t know that was your garden, I´m sorry, please don´t call the police”, he begs, suddenly in full on panic mode. Your eyes widen and you take him in, he was skinny, his clothes were dirty and he looked like he hadn´t had a good night’s rest in a long time. He´s a stray.

You raise your hands in surrender, letting him know, that you didn´t plan on calling the police or anyone on him. “Don´t worry”, you promise, “I´m not calling anyone. Are you hungry?” You offer him your unopened box of cookies. His eyes grew even wider and he surprises you by sitting down across from you. “You don´t mind?” he asked and you shake your head, opening the box and putting it down in front of him. “I´m y/n” you grin at the boy, who already had one cookie stuffed in his mouth. He replied, but you didn´t understand a single word, causing you to giggle, “I´m sorry, I don´t speak cookie or is your name cookie?” you giggle again, causing the boy in front of you to turn red, he swallows and speaks again, “I´m Jungkook, but I don´t mind you calling me Kookie”, he grins.

.-.-.-..-..-.-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The following days were probably some of the best in your life so far, thanks to your new friend. Whenever you could, you would sneak out loads of food and drinks, concerned by Jungkooks small figure. But he always insisted on you joining him eat, to which you only replied with a small smile, saying you already ate. You couldn’t risk your mother finding out that you ate something other than what´s on her diet plan for you or even worse, her seeing that you gained weight. The training she would then put you under is one you never want to repeat.

You saw that Jungkook didn´t believe you when you said you ate, he could probably smell if you ate or not, he once told you, that your house never really smelled of food, you only shrugged, not really knowing what to say. But he never said anything, not till the day he saw you almost faint on your way to your secret hideout in the back of the garden, where he was already waiting for you. As you arrived you let yourself fall back against the tree. “y/n”, Jungkook´s voice asked worried. You looked at your friend and smiled, “I´m alright Kookie, just a bit tired from practice. Don´t worry.” Your friend looked unconvinced and he got proven right, as he heard your stomach rumble. “You should eat y/n-ah. When did you even eat the last time?” You wave your hand, “You worry too much. I ate this morning and my mother comes home tonight, so I´ll eat with her this evening.” The bunny hybrid looked confused in your direction. “But what about lunch, didn´t you eat something now? You can´t just eat two times a day” he exclaimed.

The concept of you eating lunch is so strange in your mind that it´s your turn to look confused. You later realised, that even when your mother was gone, the staff gave you only two dishes a day, so you wouldn´t get used to eating three times a day. If your mother were to find out you would eat more times a day than she liked, the staff and you would be in big trouble. But your six year old you didn´t understand that at this time, eating three times a day was something you never did. Why eat lunch, when you could´ve also practised at that time?

“My mother says I don´t need to eat three times a day, I would get fat and then the judges won’t like my dances at the competitions anymore” you explain with a shrug, missing the way Jungkook tensed, he decided in that moment, that he doesn´t like your mother. How would you get fat? You first had to stop being underweight and from what he gathered, the only things you do are study, dance and meet up with him.

The sun started to go down and you knew you had to leave your friend soon. “Listen Jungkook”, you started and his ears straightened up, as you addressed him by his name, not the nickname you called him since your first day, “My mother will arrive today, my father probably too. They are pretty strict-” “Are they gonna lock you away for talking to me? Are they gonna lock me away?!” You quickly took his hands in yours, calming him almost instantly. “No no no, nothing’s going to happen to you”, you promised, “My parents, they, they can never know about you, okay Kookie. They are not nice”, Jungkook frowned, not liking the idea to leave you alone with the mean people who don´t feed you and apparently don´t like hybrids, he remembered his first question. “y/n. Are they going to look you away?” You shrug, “Maybe, I don´t know if I did something yet.” You don´t look at him, you can imagine what he looked like, probably mad, he was the scariest seven year old you had ever seen. “What do you mean, you don´t know yet, wouldn´t you know if you did something?” You give him a wary smile, “Sometimes I don´t know what I did until they tell me, Kookie. Maybe I gained weight; maybe my dance is not good enough. They would want me to fix my mistakes. That´s why you maybe won´t see me for a while. I just wanted to tell you, so you don´t worry even more” you giggle a bit and poke his cheek, “If you keep frowning like this, you´ll have wrinkles as soon as you turn ten.”

If it were up to Jungkook, he would grab you and bring you as far away from those people as he possibly could. He didn´t have a family, never had, the streets are all he ever had and remembered, but even with no knowledge about family and love Jungkook knew, that what you had in this house, was neither. Before you left, you told him, he should keep the snacks and eat them, he shouldn´t wait for you and Jungkook didn´t understand how you could be so concerned about him eating enough, but still neglected your own needs so much. He wanted to help you so bad, but he was only seven.

And your worries came true, you didn´t see Jungkook for two weeks. The next time you were allowed to go out, he noticed that you were skinnier, but he didn´t say anything as you koala-hugged him.

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Five years ago (Reader 16/ JK 17)

It was a bit past midday when your parents left, leaving you alone once again. The only difference, this time, not even the staff stayed with you, this was a first, but it left you buzzing with excitement. It meant that you had could have Jungkook staying over for two weeks. Over the years your friendship with the bunny blossomed into one of the best things you could´ve ever asked for.

Your parents never noticed the teenager living in the small shed in the back of the garden. You both quickly realised, that it would be way too risky sneaking Jungkook into the house with your parents present. Their distaste for hybrids only grew over the years, since the government gave them more rights, giving the hybrids at least a bit of independence, though they were still nowhere near having the same rights as humans.

This wasn´t the first time Jungkook stayed over, over the years you tried to let him stay over as often as possible. It did help a lot that the staff in your home found out and decided to help, no longer questioning why to took so much food with you whenever you went to the garden.

Though, this was the first time they ever left you completely alone, you didn´t know why, but you didn´t question it, relieved to be able to spent time with your best friend, without having to worry about him. Your mother had given you a detailed plan of your diet, which you couldn´t help but follow, not having realised yet, that all those diets weren´t really as healthy as your mother claimed.

You were eating an apple, a snack you allowed yourself to enjoy, seeing as your next real meal would still have to wait a few hours, though you weren´t even that hungry yet. You just needed something to focus on while waiting for Jungkook and you knew it made him happy to see you eat.

You sat down on one of the garden chairs, waiting for the bunny to show up, though you didn´t need to wait long, as you saw his tall figure already approaching. “Hello little dancer”, he grinned, pulling you into a bone crashing hug, he eyed the apple in your hand with a satisfied smile. Over the years Jungkook grew up quite well, he was now towering over you and you couldn´t deny, that he was getting more and more handsome.

You smiled and pulled him into the dining room, “I figured you´d be pretty hungry by now, so I prepared some food for you, then we can relax for the rest of the day.” You had prepared some steamed vegetables and chicken, knowing that Jungkook loved your cooking. He frowned as he saw that you wouldn´t be eating with him, but he choose not to say anything, it was your first day and he wouldn´t want to argue with you immediately. He started to dig in, almost scoffing at how much you prepared for one person. “You don´t need to practice today?” he asked confused, normally you would be training every day, especially seeing as you had a show in a few days. You smiled a bit sheepishly, “I got up earlier today and did my hours”, already knowing how Jungkooks face would look like you chose to study the picture on the wall in front of you. Your training hours were absolutely ridiculous in Jungkook´s opinion. Sometimes practicing up to ten hours if you didn´t have to study for school, he dreaded thinking about the hours you spent training today.

He finished eating and you started to clean the table, while Jungkook went and took a quick shower. You also started to look for movies on Netlix that he would like, both of you loved movies, but Jungkook never had the opportunity to watch them and you never had the time.

Jungkook came back, letting himself fall down next to you, arm around you shoulder, pulling you close. His was hair slightly wet and he had changed into new clothes, which you had bought for him. You stared at him, he really was handsome. You blushed at your own thoughts, but you couldn´t help but feel attracted to him. He noticed you staring at him, seeing as he was also busy staring at you, the chosen movie in the back forgotten.

“Kookie?” you asked quietly and he looked at you waiting for you to continue. “Do you want to come with me on Tuesday? To my show?” A smile broke out on his face, his ears straightening up, eyes wide. “Are you for real? Yes I´d love to”, but his smile fell as quickly as it came. “Do they allow hybrids there? How could I get in?” You frowned, you hadn´t thought about that. Then an idea plopped in your head and you took all your courage to speak it out loud. “We´ll just say you´re my boyfriend. They won´t question you if you cover your ears and you´ll be backstage with me.” The bunny thought about that idea and his smile returned, though there was mischief sparkling in his eyes. “Only if I get to give you a well done kiss after you´re done. Like a good boyfriend would.” Never has the usually shy bunny been so forward about anything and your breath stocked, but you found yourself nodding. No matter how shy you were, you couldn´t let the chance to kiss your crush and best friend fly away. He grinned and pulled you closer, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek, causing you to hide yourself in his chest. “Watch out mister” you warned, poking his chest. The bunny only laughed at your flustered state.

.-.-.-..-..-.-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Nervous. That´s the word that would describe you the best right now. You had already thrown up in the morning, leaving Jungkook worried, asking if you were really in the condition to perform. You had waved it off, telling him that´s how you are before every show, which didn´t seem to comfort him at all. Though your best friend and maybe boyfriend or fake boyfriend (who knows) stayed with you for the last couple of days, you didn´t really find any more time to relax, spending most of our days practicing. Jungkook didn´t seem to mind though, he started using the gym next to your dance room. Your parents never seem to use it anyway, so it wasn´t really a problem and Jungkook came to love having an outlet for all his energy. In the evenings both of you were too tired to cook, meaning empty take out containers were piling up in the kitchen.

“You got this” Jungkook murmured, warm hand lying comforting on your lower back. You were backstage already, wearing your plush bathrobe to keep you from freezing in your dance outfit. It wasn´t as hard as expected to take Jungkook with, a beanie covering his ears, his tail comfortable tucked away in his pants covered by a nice dress shirt you had bought him a while ago. You stood on your pointe shoes, still not being on eye level with the bunny but close, and hugged him.

“What if my mother finds out? Oh I shouldn´t have done this, maybe I can-“ you were interrupted by a pair of lips on yours, you felt yourself sinking into his strong hold. Jungkook smiled at you with the softest smile you had ever seen. He knew you were worried about your piece.

It was contemporary ballet, a form of ballet your mother despised. She was all for classical ballet, often making you train with the Cecchetti method, which Jungkook found out to be really hard on the body, no longer surprised why you were so drained after your lessons. But you had told him one day, that though you do love this form of ballet, you had started to fall in love with neoclassical and contemporary ballet. It was more modern, allowing you to bring more of yourself in your dance, Jungkook didn´t really know anything about ballet, so he had just nodded, but after seeing you dance in both, a classical and modern way, he understood why you liked the modern form so much.

“Hey, calm down, little dancer” he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You looked up to him with big eyes, he had just kissed you. Jungkook kissed you, and you found yourself craving his kiss again. “You worry too much, stop thinking about if something is a mistake. Maybe this kiss was a mistake, who knows, but it didn´t feel like it, I liked it and I know you did too. You like dancing contemporary, so do it, your mother isn´t here to support you or critic you. I´m here and I´ll support anything you do.” Touched by his words you found yourself hugging him closer than before. “Oh, what would I do without you?” you asked, playing with his hair that wasn´t covered by the beanie.

“y/n y/l/n! Ready to perform in ten, please move to the curtains!” came the loud voice of the director. Slowly Jungkook let you go, “You´ll do great, alright? Just have fun” the bunny smiled at you. You decided to collect all the courage you had and looked into Jungkook´s eyes, “Don´t I get a good luck kiss?” The male’s eyes twinkle and he can hardly contain a smile, “You get a well done kiss when you´re done, little dancer” You pout, but you know arguing with bunny won´t work, so you just sigh in defeat. Jungkook chuckled as he realised that there will be no arguing, he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Go on little dancer, show me what you got. I´ll be right here when you get back.”

With those last words you moved towards the stage, ready to dance your heart out, but you felt oddly calm. With no doubt thanks to the bunny who was cheering you on from the side. The music started and you have never felt so free dancing.

And as promised was Jungkook waiting for you after your performance, you jumped into his waiting arms, “You did so well, you are amazing” he pressed little kisses all over your face, till he finally reached your lips. Needless to say, today was a good day and something told you, that it could only get better with Jungkook next to you, holding you close.

.-.-.-..-..-.-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The past one and a half weeks had to be the best you’ve ever had. Life with Jungkook couldn´t have been easier and dread filled your chest, as you thought about how your parents would be arriving today and some part of you wished they wouldn´t. Jungkook noticed your mood change too and tried everything he could to make you feel better, not even complaining about how you skipped breakfast this morning, which you knew took a lot for him. You were stood in the kitchen; the bunny had his arms wrapped around you, hugging you from behind, watching as you were gathering the ingredients to make you guys a shake. Occasionally he would sneak a kiss to your neck or cheek.

But all that froze, as you both watched a police car park in your driveway. “Hide”, was the only thing you said, as the doorbell rang and Jungkook didn´t have to be told twice, as he hid in the guest bathroom next to the front door. He was a bit confused, seeing as normally hybrid control would come to collect stray animals and these cops didn´t even have dogs with them, but he didn´t want to risk it, almost holding his breath as you opened the door.

“Good evening”, you greeted politly, though Jungkook could hear the slight tremble and smell your panic. He wanted to jump out of the bathroom and hold you close, never wanting you to feel scared if he could prevent it.

“Good evening, Miss y/l/n, can we come in, we have some bad news for you? It´s about your parents.”

Time slowed down as you received the news. Your parents died. The blood in your ears rushed, you had trouble making out what they said. You heard that they were asking if they should call someone, but there wasn´t anyone you could call. You had no family here; the only person you wanted was hiding in your guest bathroom down the hall, probably hearing every word.

The police told you, that in the next days a lawyer would stop by to explain to you what would be happening next, you were still underage with no family. They were asking you, if you would want to sleep in a supervised home today, but you shook your head, explaining with shaky voice that the staff would be arriving tomorrow morning and you wouldn´t be alone. After the police left you sank to the floor, “Kookie”, you croaked, vision blurred with tears. You felt strong hands pulling you into a hug, “I´m here y/n. I´m here.”

Taglist: Open, just ask!

Hope you enjoyed!

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