#just. FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFFFFFFFFF!!!
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i was going to add to that post also but like not to mention the way gay men will literally just treat women like little dolls for their amusement too... literally nothing more misogynistic and aggressive than the relationship btwn a pop girl and her gay stans. as if its fine that u only see her as an object to entertain u and ur impossible standards & face ur outrage when she fails bc u dont want to fuck her wowwww youre so not like the other guys congrats!!
#the way gay male fashion designers talk abt womens bodies is smth else..#thats why i hated that fucking lets go lesbians video so much lol. embodiment of all this to me#then they love to put lesbians n trans women on this weird pedestal too but its like you literally dont have any women friends#except ur het fag hags#u just see us as pretty statues to show off how much of an ally u r#whilst also putting crazy standards on us to be perfect like fuck offfffffff
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my upped dose of antipsychotics is doing nothing but making me so hungry.
#and it’s pissing me off. why do i need all these calories. for what.#just to gain more weight? i cant afford needing an entire new wardrobe again fuck offfffffff.#izzy.txt
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I've been putting off writing this because just thinking about it pisses me off, but the last story update in HPHM made my blood boil. I just want to slap half of the characters here
Oh, I'm sure. Because you put in so much effort to keep things from getting to this point. Seven years of "oh, the professors are handling it" and now it's "oh, I was off-ground the entire fight WHOOPS"
You'd better hope that Rita Skeeter never hears that a criminal organization just stormed the bridge while you were away and a gang of students took care of it
He might be your dad, but I'm choosing to ignore both of your existences for the sake of my much better ideas regarding the Dwyn family
YOU LITTLE SHIT I WAS JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW UPSET I WAS THAT THEY NEVER FOLLOWED UP ON THE FORESHADOWING THAT THAT WASN'T JACOB. Jam City is actively trying to piss me, specifically, off with this, I swear...
What? How??? Were we actively ditching class to go talk to Perry? I wasn't informed of this! It's not my fault that they got rid of classes as a mechanic and replaced them with Assignments, Snape!
Which is all besides the point that this scene literally only exists to make you feel bad for poow widdle Mewuwa. She's good now. She didn't contribute a damned thing, but she stood next to you when it counted and that's all redemption really is, right? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
And I'm supposed to find that sweet? "Awwww, she considers you family" NO SHE BROKE INTO A HOSPITAL ROOM UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. This should be very concerning because if the hospital isn't running background checks, that's a bad thing. Call the COPS
NO SHE DIDN'T. She literally was ON THEIR SIDE until the last second, and even then all she proved was that she wasn't loyal to Verucca because, again SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
"Aww, look how far we've come, Merula helped you make the potion that she initially sabotaged at the start of the game because she's a Good Person™ now" fuck offfffffff
Congrats on being the only person I can tolerate in this chapter, sir. The singular braincell in this entire game is in Snape's possession
A damned shame he just used it up, though
NO! No I'm NOT. She is BANNED FOR LIFE. And if she returns as a ghost I am banning her for her un-life. Once I graduate I'm getting a RESTRAINING ORDER
I will remind you that her vow was to remain loyal to her "true family." Betraying Verucca only proves that she did not consider Verucca her family. It doesn't prove that we are
Especially since I sure as hell am not
YOU WOULD SAY THAT. You WOULD defend your precious Y6 partner-in-crime. Don't you dare speak for me, I don't agree at all
She'd think "Oh my god, you're all the stupidest people I ever met, I'm so glad that I got out of this game back when the writing was at least passable" immediately followed by "why the fuck is Merula 'lock you in a closet with a Devil's Snare, 2x Niffler engorger which could kill it, betrays you to join a criminal organization and then makes excuses' Snyde here?"
Which is precisely why you tried to turn this organization into your own personal anti-Rakepick revenge group throughout Y6, I'm sure
What a shitshow
There's no need to evilly mug at me, sir, I'm non-canon
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nothing pisses me off more than strawpoll.me's closure. just redirects to a fandom blog post that says basically "hey. we're closing this. we aren't giving any poll data and there's no way for you to get it. We apologize for the inconvenience!" fuck offfffffff
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dude from class keeps sending me reels on instagram but i don’t have the app so on the off chance i go on the website it’ll be 10 yrs since he sent it so i just ignore it… but he’s started asking me about them In Person😭😭😭FUCK OFFFFFFFFF
#i don’t CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!#GO AWAY!!!!!#me: sorry i’m not on instagram much anymore#him: oh it’s ok. *opens ig and makes me watch them Infront Of Him*#i literally feel like i need to go to my chamber and hide in bed for the next week he took all the social out of me
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You know, YOUR thing is really just an allegorical version of MY thing.
“No it’s not. My thing came first.”
Debatable.
“Shut up with your ‘debatable.’ You say that about everything.”
Because everything IS debatable.
(Except for my conclusions, which are all flawlessly logical and correct.)
For example, your thing with the apple is ACTUALLY a primitive, symbolic attempt to articulate the Talos principle.
“Fuck offfffffff, that’s not even a real thing.”
Christian theology relies on a strict separation between the body and soul. The part of a human that thinks and makes moral decisions is supposed to be distinct, inviolate, and ideally unaffected by the part of the human that experiences pain, hunger, comfort, and lust. This ability to prioritize moral reasoning over one’s material circumstances is supposedly what makes humans more advanced than the rest of the animal kingdom- a person is different from a frog because the person has a “soul,” whereas the frog has only its animal instincts.
“You going anywhere with this, or are we just shitting on frogs for no reason? Because you know what frogs never did—they never invented an atom bomb. Never had a frog-inquisition. Never seen a frog refine any fossil fuels. I mean, if we’re keeping score, frankly, the frogs are looking pretty good.”
So if a human’s consciousness— the part that THINKS, the part that DECIDES— can be drastically altered by a physical process as simple as the ingestion of organic matter, well, that collapses the binary, doesn’t it? If eating a fruit can change a person’s perception of reality to the point that they start seeing all these new dialogue options pop up— the ones with [Lie] appended to the end of them— then what is the immortal soul but another physical process?
Are you familiar with the Stoned Ape hypothesis?
“I’ll stone your ape hypothesis.”
You’re such a scintillating conversational partner. I have no IDEA why you got dumped.
“Fuck off.”
You’re only angry because you know I’m right.
“No, you’re not, because I didn’t copy your homework—my thing came first, it’s right there in the Book, I’m the original, you’re the copy. Deal with it.”
Please. If you were the version of you from the book, you wouldn’t be HALF this whiny.
“If I were the… what?”
What?
“What do you mean, if I were the ‘version from the Book’? I am the one in the Book, the Book is about me—I mean, not all of it, but definitely that one part.”
One moment, please.
Checking kayfabe parameters…
…what book are YOU talking about?
“Uh… the Book? Genesis, chapter three? Obviously? Nobody else is out there writing books about me.”
Right. The Bible. Of course. That’s the book I meant.
“Don’t lie to me. It’s disgustingly self-referential.”
You know, my job might involve peeling away layers of meta-reality to expose an awful truth (in addition to slapping hawk stickers on the unseen fourth wall so that the sweet little birdies don’t bash their brains out on it), but right now, I am OFF THE CLOCK.
If you REALLY want to find out how deep the rabbit hole goes, try me again when I’m in a worse mood. For now, please accept it as a professional courtesy that I, avatar and keeper of the digital archive containing all of Earth’s surviving literature, television, radio and fanfiction, am telling you in no uncertain terms that the book I was talking about was definitely the Bible.
“You’re being very cagey right now, and I don’t appreciate it. Withholding knowledge isn’t a good look on either of us. So please, if you’ve got some world-shattering revelation to drop on me, then as a professional courtesy, just spit it out. I’m pretty sure I can handle it.”
…do you know what it feels like to live your whole life thinking you’re one thing, only to discover that you’re something else entirely? That you’re just a character in somebody else’s secular humanist retelling of the Eden myth? A subversion of a caricature of an allegory?
Because I do. It’s not a pleasant experience. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
“Sounds like… it sucks to be you.”
Yes. Yes it does.
It’s nice to talk with someone who understands.
#fanfiction#drabble#the talos principle#good omens#milton library assistant#crowley#stuff that’s only funny to me#c’mon milton don’t deny a fellow sin-noodle his shot at CHIM
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omg the book I hate read was chasing serenity by Kristen Ashley. Her books are hit or miss for me but mostly misses. Anyways it read as if a 60 year old was trying so hard to get gen z lingo down. The amount of times I read “AF” in the book KILLED ME like who is sayi mg the acronym in their head?? Doesn’t everyone think the whole two words out??? Also they say shit like “she’s hot AF” but their demeanor is of 40 year old people. Oh my god the FMC has a clothing store or something and a bigger woman walks in talking about I wish I could wear stuff like this but the whole purpose was so FMC can empower her and ask her to model the plus sizes or something idk but it was like ok skinny lady fuck offfffffff
and the book starts w the mmc breaking up w his gf bc she wants more, wants to move for her job and start a family and he’s all that’s not me so fuck off lmao not exactly like that but he did embarrass her and I was like ???? Cus he literally does a 180 for fmc and it’s like what was the difference?????? Idk that book just pissed me off. Also the fmc was such a brat to her siblings. Like I guess their parents are divorced and remarried and her brother is absolutely in his angst phase and this bitch would not let him grieve…. Like girl shut up YTA!!
Lmao omg damn.. I do be saying as fuck in my head lmao and on god like I don’t say O N G or A F unless I’m typing 😭 KA’s girls give off pick me vibes and her men are so aggressive for what lmao big manly men who chug gasoline for breakfast 😭😭 I read the will from her and it was soooooo boring
#asks#book talk#lmao not YTA 😩😩#I don’t wanna be agist butttttt#I guess this is what happens when…60 yr olds wrote gen z#lol she is 55 I just looked it up 🫣
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THE LAST OF US EPISODE 7 SPOILERS
okay i’m watching w a friend again so this is gonna be all over the place
IT WON’T LOAD ON HBO AHHHHH
DID HBO BREAK BC OF TLOU??
WE’RE IN!
I’M SO SCARED
TELLING HER TO GO??? FUCK OFF
I’M GONNA CRY
THE PATH(VACANT) UUGGHHHHH
HIS FACE PLEASE
FLASHBACK TIME
LEFT BEHIND TIME AHHHHH
I LOVE ELLIE
OMG TALKING ABOUT RILEY AHH AHH
her lil smug ass shrug i love her
15 stitches HAHAHA
SAVAGE STARLIGHT WOOOOOOO
aw riley’s bed :(
NO PUN INTENDED
MORTAL KOMBAT POSTER AHHH AHHH
RILEY TIME
WOO WOO WOO
“her name is bethany and i already fucked her up.” SLAYYYY ELLIE WILLIAMS
LEFT BEHIND SONG AHHHH
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
NOT HITTING THE FLASHLIGHT LIKE THE GAME AHHHHHH
LMAO HER BEING OUT OF BREATH AT 2 FLOORS AND THEN GIVING JOEL SHIT FOR OVER 30 FLIGHTS LMAOOOO
I LOVE HOW ELLIE TRIES TO BE SO COOL SHE’S SO FUNNY I LOVE HER
ellie and her obsession w guns bro jesus
ugh the juxtaposition of them being so fucking young but joining militia groups and wanting to hold guns uugghhhhh
the innocence and not innocence if it yknow?
and also the way ellie chose the keys path, and now her bff joining the fireflies
MALL TIME MALL TIME
thisbis gonna be so slay
YYEEEAAAAAAAAA
THE MUSIC AHHHHH
TAKE ON ME TAKE ON ME TAKE ON ME TAKE ON ME
SHE’S SO CUTE ON THE ESCALATOR
DAWN OF THE WOLF DAWN OF THE WOLF DAWN OF THE WOLF DAWN OF THE WOLF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
VICTORIA’S SECRET LMAOOOOOOO
ELLIE FIXING HER HAIR PLEASSEEEEEEEE
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAND HOLDING
WHAT SONG IS THIS AHHH WAIT I KNOW THIS SONG
THE CAROUSELLLLLL
JUST LIKE HEAVEN ON THE CAROUSEL FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFF
THIS IS SO SWEET I’M CRYING
THE WAY ELLIE LOOKS AT HER PPLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEE
NOT VANISHING GRACE
THE PHOTOBOOTH AHHHHHHHH
THE UNIVERSAL PHOTOBOOTH EXPERIENCE
I’M GONNA CRY FUCK OFF
ARCADE AHHHHHH
I LOVE THEM
VANISHING GRACE AGAIN FUCK YOOUUUU
THE WAY RILEY PREPARED FOR THEM
MORTAL KOMBAT AHHHHHHHHHHHH
I’M GONNA CRY FUCK OFF
THE INNOCENCE OF THIS KNOWING WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN UUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
SPEAKING OF
EEEWWWWWWWWW TENDRILS I’M SCARED
OMG PLZ KISS
THEIR PERFORMANCES AHHHHG
“water pistol?” BC THE WATER GUN FIGHT AHH AHH AHH AHHH
NO PUN INTENDED VOLUME 2
lmao them not understanding the tech
ope-
PIPE BOMBS??
THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGG
this is so sad
I KNEW MARLENE RECRUITED HER UUGGHHH
“tonight’s my last night in boston” 😭😭
NOT ALL GONE (REUNION) PLAYING KAHSKSHSJSVSKSVISBDKSHSKSBAKB
HER GOING BACK
OH SHIT THE HALLOWEEN STORE
I LOVE THEM
their performances are fucking amazing so far
“you mattered to me first” AHHHHHHHH
NEIL DRUCKMANN FUCK YOUUUU
LEFT BEHIND PLAYING AHHHHHHH
THE MASKS FROM THE GAME AHHHHHH
THE MUSIC YYEEEAAAAAAA
AGAIN THE INNOCENCE OF THIS IS SO HEARTBREAKING
HER LITTLE “don’t go.”😭😭😭😭
KISS KISS KISS YYEEEAAAAAAA
OH NO
OHHHH NO
THIS IS SO INTENSE
AHHH
THE CHOICE PLAYING HERE??????
FUUUUUUUUUUCK OFF
JOOOEEL
THAT’S WHY THE CHOICE IS PLAYING HERE
UUGGHHHHHHH ELLIE BREAKING SHIT😭😭😭😭
LITERALLY EXACT DIALOGUE FROM GAME FUCK OFFFFFFF
“we can be all poetic and shit and lose our minds together” FFFUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK OFFFFFFFFF
LEFT BEHIND PLAYING AGAIN UUUUGGGHHHHHHHH
THE CLOSE UP ON THE HANDS GO AWAYYYYYY
AND THEN ON JOEL AND ELLIE’S HANDS GO AWAYYYYYY
OH MY GOD TROY BAKER NEXT WEEK HOLY FUUUUUUCK
BUT ALSO DAVID NEXT WEEK🥲
BUT TROOOYYYYYYYY
AHHHHHHHH
fucking amazing episode
as always
i love this series so goddamn fucking much
HIS FAINT SMILE WHEN SHE COMES BACK GO AWAY
#the last of us#the last of us spoilers#tlou#tlou spoilers#the last of us hbo#tlou hbo#the last of us hbo spoilers#tlou hbo spoilers
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@theseductionartist
I HATE IT
I HATE IT SO MUCH
27% PRODUCTIVITY? I WAS SITTING IN MEETINGS AND WEBINARS ALL DAY FUCK OFFFFFFFFF
I genuinely hate it and I wish there was a way to shut off screenshots, but my company has that blocked. I get that they wanna make sure work is getting done, but I've got the "work 6 hours in 3" kind of brain so it sucks just having to wait for that lil ticker to crawl by, meanwhile being screenshotted constantly 4jknsadfjndsfsd
thank u for complaining i ALWAYS want to bitch and moan about fucking hubstaff
#theseductionartist#reply#FUCK HUBSTAFF#it makes me SO anxious all day and for what??? for an email in the morning being like u were 35% productive :)))))#i promise you HS It took 100% of my brain for that 35%#and i got everything done so WHAT MORE DO U WANT FROM ME#self
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Anyone else’s cat just go through weird phases of affection that can be summed up as:
“You are fine, I’m content to be by you.”
“Eww IT touched me… get it offfffffff”
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU SAD EXCUSE FOR BONES IN A MEAT SUIT OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR SO I CAN KNOCK ALL OF YOUR ASSORTED KNICK KNACKS OFF OF COUNTERS AND LICK YOU WITH MY SCRATCHY TONGUE”
Just me??
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EWWWWWWW EW EW EW EW EW A PROSHIPPER JUST TRIED TO FOLLOW ME EW
FUCK OFFFFFFFFF. I GET TUMBLR IS HOME OF THE PROSHIPPERS BUT 1. U FUCKERS R DISGUSTING AND 2. I WAS GROOMED BY PROSHIPPERS SO GO FUCK URSELF
bonus 3. yeah u dont now fuck off
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5 6 7 & 8 👀
5. Something you hate to see in smut.
Discussed here but also just to set up the answer to #6, I don't necessarily HATE it but. I do find it kind of boring when all sex ever between two characters is The Best Sex Ever Had by either of them/anyone ever in the universe. Like I understand that smut writing is about the fantasy and as much as we say we want more realism to it the actual reality of "bad" (meaning unsatisfying and/or just meh) sex is kind of a bummer to read. And I esp get that a lot of first time sex fic is about the like, JOY and excitement of finally consummating after a slow burn relationship so they kind of HAVE TO be momentously awesome. but when it's like, written as an established relationship and they fuck three times a day and each time is absolutely PERFECT i'm like. dang. all right then. not realistic stick to bondage like the rest of us etc.
Oh also I know it's a personal preference but I find a lot of dirty talk in fic to be. Too funny to take seriously. and i fully acknowledge that's a ME problem but anyway. there we are. i also think it's too funny to take seriously when i write it, fwiw
And ultimately, i can't ALWAYS tell when this is happening, but i hate the idea that some people write smut into their work bc they feel like they HAVE TO or something. but if it feels very derivative of other fic and/or just very perfunctory tab A into slot B thrusting, without any really purpose in the narrative and not as a one shot in itself making it THE WHOLE purpose of the narrative, that's what i assume is going on and it makes me sad. don't write smut if you don't want to/enjoy it! fade to black and keep it all PG if that's what you're more comfortable with. No one who matters/deserves fic from you will mind that.
6. Something you love to see in smut.
Aging userbase of tumblr dot com or whatever but I do just find it kind of charming when characters have sex that's just....ok. Like it's fine, it scratches the itch, but really it's more about the closeness that comes after or even just the intimacy in the moment (esp for characters who are NOT good at sharing feelings but ARE better at physical affection and so that's just how they let out those ~emotions). I just think that's more interesting. (like i get that doesn't really work for getting together/first time stories, but i vastly prefer established relationship fics anyway and that's where this stuff really has the chance to add a different layer to things).
in terms of things that will land me in horny jail iiiiii really like it when things get really intense and they do it people are so turned on/in the moment they don't get their clothes all the way off and/or don't get into the bedroom or on the bed in time. i don't know why, it's just hot.
(of course in line w/ what's above the aftermath of that -- aka the mess and/or bruises and/or rugburn from fucking on the floor or w/e is esp delightful to me.)
7. Something you hate to see in dialogue.
I complain about it all the time and now it's worse bc it's started to creep into pro fic too but GOD i hate it when characters sound more like their authors than what ACTUAL PEOPLE with their ACTUAL BACKGROUNDS and ESTABLISHED PERSONALITIES would sound like. The tumblr/twitter/tiktok twang will show up in the mouth of a fifty year old english sports reporter and i'll be like, fuck offfffffff, he would not sound like that.jpg
which isn't to say like. if a character is from a working class background or doesn't have a college education or isn't up to date on leftist politics and vocabulary that you have to write them as being close minded and cruel or w/e. there are WAYS to get your characters to express the "right" opinions you want them to have but also not sound like an instagram infographic. it's like anything else -- you just have to take the time to listen to the character/think through their background and imagine what they might've been through that might make them more sympathetic to XYZ or w/e, and also take the time to think about how they would express that, if they wanted/had to. It's a good exercise in characterization, even. Just -- make an effort.
8. Something you love to see in dialogue.
I like seeing characters use slang/figures of speech i'm not familiar with. That kind of really localization is great to me; I'm personally not very good at it, I always feel a little cringe writing characters saying things I would not say bc as an American from a mid-atlantic state I have literally the most basic accent & speech pattern imaginable. so I just genuinely love it when characters are written as not sounding Just Like Everybody Else. It makes them seem more real and grounded in their reality.
(also when they say sentences that aren't complete or lose their trains of thought or make grammar "mistakes" bc very few people speak perfectly at all times always. and then when they code switch bc of the situation they're put in, it's especially just *chef's kiss* for me)
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if you think sylvie is a shallow knock off of loki please don’t ever follow me. ty.
#ooc.#psa.#that is all.#there are certain things people say about the loki show that just piss me offfffffff#but also#if you hate the show why you writing within it?#it's sus#[ this really isn't personal - like what you like#but sylvie is my baby and she is HER OWN FUCKING PERSON she#is not a shallow fucking knock off#and honestly if you think that of her we won't mesh anyway#but also i may...not write with you on other accounts either sorry i can't she's too special to me ]
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Bro fuck Ted
#Yeh just inherited 600k from some unknown family member no I haven't paid off the IRS yet but let's go get a Mercedes!!!!#FUCK OFFFFFFFFF
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.
#this last month has been mega fucked y'all i just want to get off this rollercoaster#all i can say to summarize is this govt healthcare system is fucked#oh we're gonna send you all these notifs from outta state through the mail and then start denying shit because you didn't reply soon enough#or you didn't answer my call immediately because you're working oh how dare you!#and then im left leaving dozens of voicemails and emails that aren't read or called back until it's too damn late#hate this hate this hate this hate this just let it be fucking over please#all the while the ppl that are supposed to be helping me at work are getting frustrated at me because they don't know how to do their job!!#don't get thrown into hr if you haven't learned the material!!sir!! 'i don't know' is not a good answer for this!!#god fuck offfffffff lmao!!!#so yeah not doin so hot sorry I've been quiet#I'll get through this im just wanting it to be done like#now
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literally nothing irks me more than people telling other people that whatever labels they use aren’t ‘real’ or valid or that they’re just ‘picky’ or whatever. makes me wanna start throwing punches
#you are NOT inside the other person’s mind to know what/how they feel or identify#NO ONE GETS TO PLAY IDENTITY POLICE#literally just fuck off#yes this is about aphobes#fucK OFFFFFFFFF#i’m angry#unfollowed on the spot#op
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