Tumgik
#is like literally trying to murder us rn
honesttoglob · 3 months
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Cesare, and the underworld by extension, believes Steve caused the Kellwasser event, a global extinction event, on purpose, and the set up a sytem of Watchers to monitor the planet for other trickster entities so no similar event ever happens again. They've been monitoring Steve under the Earth ever since (hence the line from DOWN "Chaos Gods Rise From The Deep", they believe Steve is a god of chaotic destruction), and make him Cesare's #1 priority when they sense that he's heading back up to the Earth's surface. Cesare genuinely believes Steve is an evil entity bent on wiping out life on the planet for a second time, which is why he doesn't pull his punches when trying to catch him. However, Cesare begins to doubt what he's held as truth for a thousand years when Steve shows a lack of knowledge/understanding of the fact that he's been under the ground for millions of years (if Steve was unconscious all that time, it could have seemed like only a moment that he was down there) and also calling into question whether or not Steve even remembers/intentionally caused the extinction event in the first place. If this is the case we'll just have to wait and see how Cesare reacts to finding out that he's been "living" a lie for the past thousand years. Him saying "Did you not know?" in response to Steve's confusion while in his jail cell makes me think he may possibly have a change of heart. I doubt the Underworld will take Steve's word at face value, obviously, but Cesare seemed convinced, or at least willing to be convinced, for a moment there.
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homogranates · 10 months
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i'm so serious when i say that school makes me wanna rip my flesh off
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minglana · 1 year
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i am fumiiiiiiiiinngggg
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lovecrazedpup · 2 years
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hm
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hacvek · 1 year
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🌑 nightmeows 🔁 dogfandomfandom Follow
clan-showdown-official-deactivated-80-0
Welcome to the Official Clan Showdown, an official tournament to decide the best clan of all! I'll be letting this run for a quarter-moon so hopefully cats from all corners of the forest can vote!
So let's settle this once and for all, through democracy rather than violence
which clan is the best?
ThunderClan ❚❚ 6.3%
WindClan ❚❚❚❚ 11.2%
RiverClan ❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚ 33.6%
ShadowClan ❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚ 20.3%
I'm a kittypet that just wants to press a button ❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚ 28.6%
3384 votes · Poll ends in 1 day 890 birdsongs
🦇🔁 lichenlikehim Follow
windclan bros....
🍄🔁 shrewd-and-wondervole
Something's not adding up. Even discounting the kittypet option, there are way more voters than there are Clan cats.
⚡🔁 thunderclan-official Follow
there are numbers above 5?
🦁🔁 the-lionesse Follow
y'all i figured out why the vote counts are so high. sparrowsong from riverclan just went out and gave birth to fifty kits and signed them all up for clanblr accounts jkldfjslkfd
🪱🔁 wormdefender Follow
op is having a breakdown about thunderclan not winning btw
🐺🔁 dogfandom Follow
OP: here's a silly poll!
cats: get a little silly with it
OP: YOU HAVE COMMITTED VIOLENCE AGAINST ME AND MY MOTHER
#oh so this is what's going on #but where is the breakdown post #edit: i found it 2,349 notes ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
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🐸 dreamsofgreenleaf
here's how thunderclan can still win
#is this anything #mine 1 note ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
Oopsie! An error was encountered when reblogging. Try again? You've exceeded your daily post limit.
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🍄 shrewd-and-wondervole 🔁 the-lionesse Follow
Anonymous mewed: wait how did sparrowspong give birth to fifty kits at once
🦁 the-lionesse Follow
she slept with multiple toms. hope that helps.
#interesting #i didn't know that was possible! #bio tag 230 notes ➡️🗨️🔁🤍
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🪳 starclansfavoriteplaything 🔁 dirteater
Anonymous mewed: i found someone's mirrorleaf still logged into their clanblr at the gathering and voted for shadowclan. i'm not even a clan cat i just got lost while playing outside
🙀 clan-confessions
.
🪶🔁 pheasantcatcher Follow
anon is braver than any thunderclan warrior
🌿🔁 herbmother Follow
This is what StarClan wants for us. To do the right thing even when we won't get credit for it.
🪳🔁 starclansfavoriteplaything
RARE KITTYPET W
#YOU ARE THE REASON WE CANT HAVE PEACE #lmto [Editor's note: 'laughing my tail off'] 3,401 notes ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
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🕸️ foxtails 🔁 greencoughtiger Follow
🐭 mouse ✔️✔️
the winner is not shadowclan or riverclan or anyone else. the winner is voter fraud
#prev wtf you can't join clanblr until you're at least twelve moons of age 3,925 notes ➡️🗨️🔁🤍
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🪳 starclansfavoriteplaything 🔁 dirteater
🐈 freshkillz Follow
feeling lonely need me a she-cat with a mottled pelt and thick tail rn
🦋🔁 moon--moth Follow
not now the entirety of thunderclan was just murdered
#READ THE CAMP 129 notes ➡️🗨️🔁🤍
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🐸 dreamsofgreenleaf 🔁 mewsogyny Follow
purrzerk-deactivated-80-01m-04d mewed: You can't get pregnant with multiple litters at once. Talk to your medicine cat before spouting misinformation on clanblr
🦁 the-lionesse Follow
i'm literally a medicine cat apprentice but go off
🐷🔁 tomsplaining-archive Follow
Example #163
#get his tail 778 notes ➡️🗨️🔁🤍
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◼️ dirteater 🔁 cats-posting-their-ls Follow
clan-showdown-official-deactivated-80-0
To everycat that reblogged and voted in my poll in good faith, I thank you.
Clearly something fishy is afoot, whether that's from kits birthed for the purpose of this poll, or popular blogs like @​mouse and @swanstar-official badgering their kittypet followers to vote for their Clan. And clearly the subversion does not come from all sides in this debate. I have half a mind to declare ThunderClan the winner, just out of spite.
If RiverClan or ShadowClan 'wins' by cheating, fraud, intimidation, and manipulation, does that 'prove' that it is the best? Hardly. It only proves that such Clans are willing to gain any advantage by any means—including dishonorable ones. Can you trust that such cats won't resort to dirty tactics in snout-to-snout interactions? At the Gathering? In war? Cats like you are the reason we will never have peace.
I won't lie, I'm a bit distraught right now. But I probably should not have expected anything else from this StarClan-forsaken webbedsight. I will never be doing anything like this for you mangy cats ever again. Goodbye.
#this kitty really thought he was going to win the nuzzle peace prize with this poll #my brother in starclan this is not a forest of honor 2,064 notes ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
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🌑 nightmeows 🔁 malecalico
🤵 actualtwoleg
i didn't even knowed that there wass so many cats in this beuatifal world. woag
🌞🔁 malecalico
only valid ally
#can someone explain what is going on 64 notes ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
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backwardsbread · 2 months
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Hazbin Hotel Characters:
~First I love you~
Warnings‼️: use of pet names, a dash of angst for Adam and Lucifer (I’m sorry), swearing, GN!Reader, Lucifer doesn’t really say it but it’s still cute I think.
A/N:Okay I’m VERY into fluffy scenarios with these characters rn- MY HEART- thank you guys for all the love towards these and I hope you enjoy! This is sorta rushed because I’m TIRED and working on TOO MANY THINGS.;-;
~not proofread~
Vox:
I’ve mentioned this in previous headcannons with Vox, but dating someone was most definitely not part of his plan.
He views himself as this big bad overlord who would never go soft for anyone.
Dude thinks he’s too good for anybody, even Vel and Val sometimes. He’s very proud of his work and what he does and doesn’t like anyone getting in the way of that.
You’re only a slight exception.
Who he would literally do anything for
He tries to keep your guys’ relationship very much under wraps. He understands how dangerous of a person he is to be around.
Sharing your relationship to the public would basically be an open invitation for anyone who has beef with Vox,
Including a pesky radio demon
To target you.
So while he denies your guys’ relationship to anyone and everyone, it’s understood between the two of you what you guys truly have.
However, Velvette and Val are able to see right through Vox’s bullshit when he starts getting feelings for you. They see how he reacts to your messages, your affections, and your presence.
They know Vox has a soft spot for you, but since they like their heads attached to their bodies, they keep their mouths shut.
As his feelings for you grow, it became more and more obvious to anyone with common sense what was going on.
The man literally relaxes at the mention of you.
Unbeknownst to Vox, literally EVERYONE knows about your guys’ ‘secret’ relationship.
Vox doesn’t realize how easy he is to read. He’s an impulsive liar, and a good one at that, but his actions very much contradict the lies he spits.
He could literally be screaming at one of his employees for who knows what, and if you walk into the room, his eyes soften and his attention is on you.
He’s straightening out his posture, trying to look as if he wasn’t about to murder one of his employees.
(He would deal with them later)
Despite how obvious his and your feelings are towards one another, Vox still doesn’t make anything public, letting fans and overlords alike to speculate.
It was a poorly kept secret but one the two of you mutually agreed to keep.
You are in Hell afterall. Saying you were the TV faced overlords significant other was like sticking a paper on your back that says ‘Kick me’
Vox does his best to balance his life with you and his work life. Work was all he ever knew, so when you entered his afterlife, scheduling became a huge issue.
He would love to spend every moment by your side but he’s work too hard. His empire is too important to him.
So while the two of you didn’t go out too frequently on dates or outings,
(But trust me when you do, it is luxurious. He makes the limited time you spend together worth it.)
Vox was always making a way to communicate with you.
Whether that be via phone call or through text messages, he’s always making sure to make an effort to spend time with you. Even if it was just hearing your voice and seeing your words through a screen.
On your off days, he keeps you on an ongoing call in his TV room at all times. Unless you have something planned of course, then it’s back to the texting.
He would be in and out of his screen room frequently between meetings and whatever other things he had to do. The little lair of his was where he spent a lot of his time catching up on paperwork, checking up on the latest releases, and working through the insane amount of work emails he received.
All while talking to you. Whether it was ranting about his day or yours, or if it was talking about what your guys’ next date would be or even just enjoying each other's silent, distant, company.
That brought you to now; listening to your significant other rant about his overlord associates who had sprung a last minute meeting on him.
You listen to him shuffling around his office, grumbling as he put on his suit jacket.
He rambled on grumpily while you listened with an amused smile. He swore under his breath as he looked at his watch.
"Alright doll, I'll be back in about an hour."
"Boooo."
"I know, but once this bullshit is over, I just have paperwork so I'll be all yours, I’ll talk to you later."
"Alright, see you in a bit, I love you.”
“Mhm, Love you too.”
Vox hurries out of his media room without a second thought, zapping into a nearby security camera and appearing into the meeting room in a bolt of electricity.
He begrudgingly sat in his chair slumping into himself and mentally preparing for the chaos his coworkers were about to create.
As Velvette and Val went at each other throats, his mind drifted to the thought of you.
God, he would give anything to just be next to you instead on enduring this Hell within Hell.
He zoned out, thinking about how you were sitting on call in his office, waiting for his return. You were so loyal to him.
He thought about you, your company and your voice, the way you sounded when you said you loved him.
Realization hits him like a freight train, his screen glitching out a bit and his fans kicking into high gear as he replays the conversation the two of you had before his abrupt departure.
He kind of stays in stunned silence for a moment, in complete utter shock. Was he dreaming?? He said it back so casually! Too casually!
He whips out his phone, shooting you a quick text:
~“You said you loved me??????”
It takes a few seconds for you to respond, but it feels far too long for Vox.
~“Yeah? You said it back”
~“I didn’t realize I did.”
~“Oh. Did you not mean to?”
~“No!”
~“Fuck that came out wrong. Hold on.”
Vox went into panic mode, his screen glitching in and out. Velvette and Valentinos arguing becoming muted background noise.
He tried his best not to blue screen or shut down completely, taking a deep breath to regain composure before he texted you back.
~“I do. I love you too.”
And boy are you glad Vox can’t see your right now because you are sure he would be soaking in your embarrassment with that prideful grin on his face.
You knew you said it first and honestly it felt natural coming out.
But knowing Vox felt the same, hearing him saying it, or well, seeing him say it.
Seeing that he got over his own pride to just say it by himself meant a lot to you.
It made your chest feel warm with joy, your stomach fluttered with imaginary butterflies, and your face burned red from those words that somehow meant more coming from him.
But of course you couldn’t let him know how giddy he truly made you.
Please don’t boost his ego more-
So instead you respond with;
~“That’s pretty corny, flat screen.”
Your reaction to his admission completely catches Vox off guard. He finds himself smirking to himself, somehow feeling better with you not taking him too seriously.
He couldn’t even hear his coworkers screaming at him, wanting his input on the subject they were arguing about.
He just chuckles to himself, tucking his phone into his pocket. Giving fake hums and nods of acknowledgment. Replaying those three little words in his head over and over and over.
Adam:
Holy shit, this man is too up his own ass to realize how bad he’s got it for you.
Don’t get me wrong, the man’s stuck up. He’s selfish. But whatever you ask?
Yeah you’ve got it or it’s at least getting done by the end of the day.
He’s got it bad.
He usually denies your request at first. He’s ’above such things’.
But whatever request it may be, whether it be him stopping to get food or requesting a late night cuddle session. He’s a sucker for you.
And everyone knows it but he will deny it to no end. No way is he soft for you. Nu-uh.
Because of his status and massive ego, it stops him from acting how he wants to around you for a long time.
Like, he’d love to hold your hand, be with you 24/7 in the streets of heaven.
But deep down he’s super self conscious about getting into a relationship. Man lost not one, but TWO wives that’s were MADE for him.
You’re good at getting him to show his true colors though. Straightening him out when he’s pushed too far.
He definitely made a big show about asking you out as well. Mostly to make himself less nervous about doing it.
According to him ‘it’s an honor he’s even asking you’
Which lead to you giving him a death glare and ignoring his ask the rest of the day until he asked you genuinely.
(He then surprised you at the end of the day with chocolates, a romantic dinner, and a huge blanket fort, where you guys cuddled and watched movies until 2 am. Where he asks you again to be his partner properly this time, not letting his ego get the better of him.)
But that aside, you’re one of the few people who can see through Adam’s egotistical exterior.
I hc that he’s a big softie. So oh boy, when you utter these three little words to him, they gain so much more meaning.
I mean we already know the man loves praise. Hearing it from you is a whole different level of euphoria.
It was the morning of an extermination, and while you weren’t meant to know, Adam couldn’t keep anything from you. You ended up finding out about his yearly activities in killing sinners.
The two of you didn’t speak of it often. It’s not like Adam was supposed to speak on the matter anyways.
But when you heard about the exterminations now coming twice a year?
You couldn’t help but feel nervous for your significant other. Sure Adam was strong, but who knew what the hell spawn were capable of?
Adam had finished getting dressed, walking out of his room with his mask in hand.
He seemed like a giddy child, muttering excitedly how he ready he was. It was a way to get the adrenaline flowing and get him hyped for the big day.
Despite how gruesome it was, he did love his job and the praise he received for it.
You’re laying on the couch watching Adam, hearing only your heartbeat in your ears. You watch Adam put on his mask, looking towards you and giving a small wave.
“Alright babe! I’ll see ya later. Hey, you should order from that one kick ass pizza place tonight! Celebration dinner after I wipe out those fuckin’ hellspawn!”
You’re quick to blink out of your panicked daze, swinging your legs over the cushions and nearly tripping over yourself as you go over to him before he can get out the door.
You let out a breath, brushing off nonexistent dust off his pristine war outfit.
“Just.. don’t be stupid. Alright? Don’t go biting off more than you can chew.”
“Uhh. Babe. You do realize who you’re dating right?? I’m fucking Adam! The original-.”
“Original dick, first man, yes yes I know.”
He looked at you through his mask, his grin faltering at the edges when he saw your eyes drowning in worry that you hid behind a nervous smile.
You avoid his gaze, continuing to try and find things in his outfit to straighten out before he can leave.
If you’re lucky, you’ll find something bad enough causing him to have to stay home.
Where it was safe with you.
Adam puts a hand over your own, stopping you from brushing imaginary fuzz off the front of his shirt.
You meet his gaze, and despite his mask being on, you see a genuine soft smile. One of adoration and reassurance.
One that made you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in.
You press a quick kiss against his mask where a projection of his lips were.
He always hated when you did that. You depriving him of your real soft lips against his own.
Just ask him to take the mask off, he would do it if it meant he could kiss you.
Before he can complain, you gently squeeze his hand, letting out a whispered voice. Almost sounding too nervous- no, too scared- to speak.
“I love you.. please be careful..”
You go to let go of his hand so he can be on his merry way. But he’s quick to process your words.
He tightens his grip on your hand, pulling you in closer to him. A look of shock is evident on his face.
He squeezes your hand, pulling you against his chest. He moves his face, almost uncomfortably close, with his mask causing forced distance between you.
“Say that again.”
Now you were a little confused.
What did you even say again?
Did Adam suddenly get cold feet with the whole extermination?
He kept your body in a sort of pose that looked like you were going to start dancing.
His one hand in your own, holding tightly while his other arm wrapped around your torso, hand pressed against the small of your back to keep you close.
Your body pressed against his, it seemed he only wanted you closer, keeping a firm arm wrapped around your torso while you waited for you to repeat your words.
You look up at Adam, repeating your own words in your head. The realization of what you said and, what he wanted to hear again from you, made your face flush from light shades of pink to dark hues of red.
Adam has a smug grin on his face, keeping his tight grip on you. Refusing to let you go until you give him what he wants.
You see the look on his face and roll your eyes a bit while smiling. In a sudden rush of confidence, you kiss his mask again, wiping that smug smirk off his face.
“I love you.. be careful.”
You repeat, once again before Adam can complain about your teased kisses.
Part of Adam is glad you can’t see his face, which was burning red from your actions and words. You speaking sweetness enough to make him melt in your arms.
Those three little words that seemed so cliche before you uttered them.
He lets go of your hand so he can lift his mask off over his head. As soon as it’s off, he’s leaning in to kiss you. Just before his lips reach yours, whispering back a small:
“I love you too, babe.”
And just like that, he’s kissing you in the most soft and genuine way Adam can be. How he always was with you.
You didn’t know that would be the first and last time you would get to utter those words to your partner.
You didn’t know Adam wouldn’t be returning back to heaven after his expedition.
You didn’t know you’d only be able to hold his empty halo, whispering the lost words you never got to say to him.
Adam never planned to leave you alone questioning your faith.
You didn’t know, but at least Adam knew you loved him before it was too late.
Lucifer:
Another big sap despite his title.
Of ya know. The devil.
He met you a few months after Lillith left. So you saw him at rock bottom.
You met him at rock bottom. Wallowing in sorrows and self pity, waiting for his wife to return.
You never did pry at the king, one because he was your superior, and two because he was never in the right mind space to listen to you.
You offered an ear when he needed, an occasional shoulder to lean on when Lucifer had downed too many bottles.
You made sure the king stayed fed and physically stable. Forcing him out of bed on bad days.
(Well i wouldn’t say forcing. You’d sit beside him, rubbing his back while he lets gentle tears fall down his face. Whispering reassuring words and asking what he wants to eat so he would get up and get his desired meal you serve)
(It’s more of convincing and encouraging)
Lucifer had spent his eternity with Lillith. Having been with someone so long, he couldn’t imagine his life without her.
He was angry. He was grief stricken. He was confused. He was sad.
Her departure tore him and the family they had made apart.
You made him feel normal again. Like he wasn’t a failure of a king, husband, and father. You made him feel okay about himself.
Slowly over the years, Lucifer was recovering. It was painfully slow, but you had patience. These things took time overall.
He would never truly be over his wife’s leaving, not really knowing the reason why she had gone, only blaming himself for it.
A part of his heart was torn out that day, but you worked to fill it with new hope.
Lucifer is completely blind to your doing for awhile. I mean he spent a couple years disassociated from everything.
You provided everything for him and he barely knew anything about you. What was your intent in the first place?
He did ask you this once, why you were helping him. Why you did what you did.
Your reason was simple but struck a chord with Lucifer.
You said he deserved to be loved.
Loved.
He had half the mind to burst out in tears right then and there
After that admission, Lucifer set a goal to become a sort of equal to you. To provide for you as you had for him.
The newfound determination to basically serve you got the king of hell up and moving again.
What the two of you had felt so domestic. Cooking and cleaning together, tending to the garden Lucifer had made with Lillith. He couldn’t bare to step foot in it after she left.
But when he saw you out there in the garden covered in dirt and mud, yanking pesky weeds from the ground.
He couldn’t help but go out there. He didn’t even know you had been tending to it.
Most life had died in the garden with Lucifer’s marriage. Painful and sad
It became a midday chore for you while Lucifer grieved indoors. You caught eye of the gardens beauty one day and thought to spruce it up a bit.
When Lucifer was on his feet again, he joined you in this chore. Trimming away dead branches, pulling weeds, picking fruit that had ripened enough.
While he could just use his angelic power to grow these things, nurturing the plants from the start and watching them thrive and bloom was something he enjoyed ever since creation started.
It was something so special to him. So pure and a reminder of home.
The two of you grew closer with this shared chore, it didn’t quite feel like a chore anymore. As it was something the two of you looked forward to now.
Lucifer could feel himself falling. It was what he was prone to doing. But he couldn’t bring himself to be that vulnerable again.
Everytime he had fallen it left him bruised and lost. And if he lost you, he didn’t know if anyone would come pick him up again.
He could only get so lucky so many times.
He was currently looking at an open space near the center of the extensive garden. Where several paths met up in the middle of the garden. Where large trees formed a sort of dome shape protecting anything beneath them.
Lucifer hummed to himself, sleeves pulled up to his elbows. He tapped his chin thoughtfully, spreading the dirt on his fingertips to his face.
He glanced at how much space there was in the center of the garden. He always thought the center was bland. Sure you could lay down and look up towards Hell’s blood skies, but after centuries of seeing nothing but red above him, the sight got boring.
Besides, his creativity was bubbling in him. Begging for something new.
With a point of his finger, golden hues shot out, a large fountain forming in the middle of the gardens. It wasn’t quite tall enough to reach the trees above, but it did challenge them.
The white cement water fountain had edges to sit comfortably, three tiers, with little ducks on the middle layer spitting out water into the pool below.
Gold accents decorated each layer of the fountain. The pool to hold the water having a ruby red color, making the water appear like blood when it sat at the bottom.
Lucifer walked around the fountain, looking over every detail of his work. Making sure it was pristine and perfect.
He enjoyed it for the smallest moment, leaning his hands against the base of the fountain, leaning in to look at his reflection.
He then grew frustrated, not able to enjoy his own creation. It wasn’t good enough, not if it was made from his hands.
He growled, slapping his hand through the water, causing it to splash out. He gripped the edge of the fountain, gritting his teeth.
“Goodness..”
Your voice made him quite frankly jump into the air, falling onto his butt. His head snapped in your directions.
Your eyes were blown wide while you stared at Lucifer’s newest creation. Hands gripping a basket of freshly picked produce from the garden.
The king sits up, stuttering over himself as you move closer to get a better look at the fountain.
“You made this?”
You ask quietly, gently running your fingertips against the designs of the sides of the fountain, feeling the smooth detailing.
“Yeah I know.. it’s uh.. it’s-..”
“It’s beautiful.”
Lucifer visibly tenses at your words, looking up at you with eyes wide in shock.
He was dumbfounded, he looked like a child sitting on the ground just staring at you like this.
You look down at him, seeing his eyes wide and his jaw practically hanging on the floor. You can’t help but chuckle, deciding to take a seat next to him.
You set the basket between the two of you. Picking up a peach from the basket.
“The produce is growing lovely this year.”
You compliment the gardens hard work. Lucifer blinks out of his daydream, looking at the basket between the two of you.
His heart swells with joy. A sense of accomplishment that his creation, something he made, you thought it was beautiful.
His eyes trail to you. The light peering through the branches above you casting perfect rays on your skin.
Your company felt like home. It felt warm and comforting.
And in this light, in the garden, you looked just like…
“I love y-..”
Lucifer starts to speak before his mind can stop him. When you meet his gaze, his voice catches in his throat.
His face flushes golden colors when he caught himself almost daring to say that to you.
He lets out a comedic laugh, awkward and loud.
“..youuurrr COMPANY! Hah! Wow what a nice day! Gee golly, can’t imagine it any other way haha!”
You stare at him for a moment. Of course you were use to Lucifer’s occasional awkwardness behavior, but often times you had to read between the lines to understand what he truly meant/wanted to say.
You kind of got at what he was trying to say, your heart starting to beat fast in your chest at the thought of it.
But it wasn’t the right time. You knew Lucifer wasn’t ready.
You offer her a small smile, handing the fruit to Lucifer. You reach a hand up to wipe the dirt off his chin.
“I love it too. Any day with you.”
Lucifer’s face flushed gold once again, shoulders relaxing. He instinctively leaned into your touch, looking up at the fountain.
Patience. So patient with him.
551 notes · View notes
channelinglament · 1 year
Text
When you hadn't logged in for a few days
Ft. Diasomnia (💀)
Summary: Basically you hadn't logged in twst for a while now (could be 2 days or more) for whatever reason. But sadly you didn't know, that your game is sentient.
Tw: yandere, bad grammar, death, murder, religious themes.
🐀 (it's me, the anon-) @writingforatwistedworld
Tumblr media
Lilia
Plz forgive this world that is full of sinners-
Fr prays and slays (people)
Alright, let's begin on how it happened:
Lilia was as always waiting for your return. He made himself look presentable, and stayed nearby ramshackle to greet you when you log in (aka when you get weekly stuff like gems and etc)
You didn't come back that day, sadly.
So what does our dear fae do?
Pray. A lot.
He is afraid that he or someone has somehow wronged you.
We're you busy?
Were they not praying hard enough?
Did he need to kill someone-?
And like that, he tried to sleep.
The same was on second day.
But when the third day (afternoon actually) comes, oh he is going insane.
This world is so full of sin! It is filled with sinners to the brim isn't it? That's why you aren't coming back, he's sure of it!
So, the massacre started. You can't tell me otherwise. He prays that you come back, while he slays those, he deems sinners.
If it's for you, he's ready to starts/wage a war again.
Malleus
Congrats, it's the end of the world!
Trust me, if you logged in right at that moment, you would have the longest log in in your history.
Unlike Lilia, he immediately panicked. While you weren't around, the weather was terrible.
A few people probably died because of the thunder
He prays, and prays hard.
On the second day he tries to use his magic to see what you're doing (your camera)
If you're playing another game then he immediately destroys(burns) the world.
If you're busy, tries to wait.
If talking to someone, the first option happens aswell
On third day it's the end of the world. Literally.
Unless you decide to log in, at that exact moment, say bye-bye to everyone alive except a few faes and maybe people.
Silver
Understands that you may be busy.
But still prays nonetheless. (He was raised by Lilia, a cute lunatic after all)
Honestly is afraid that someone might've hurt you. What if you're in danger and he doesn't know about it??
He's supposed to be your knight in shining armor, protect you with his life. What if you're in danger rn and he cannot do anything about it???! (Not like could've helped even if you were, he's in game. But he could've told Malleus or Lilia, then you'd be in game sooner than expected)
Similarily to Lilia, starts massacring people calling them sinners.
But I feel like it's at the end of 2nd day? Stealthily btw
He was sleeping, then heard noises. People were talking about you and how they thought you abandoned them.
He was angry and uhh
Made ketchup for Lilia to cook.
Even if you did abandon them, it's not your fault! But he's sure you didn't, they probably just needed to get rid of sinners that have wronged you and made you upset!
Sebek
Screams
Shocked
Prays
And then
Starts giving you offerings.
Since the day 1
He definitely needs to try harder! Everyone needs!
The reason you're not here is because they're not praying hard enough! They're not offering you what you would like! Of course you won't come back if they won't!
Literally kills everyone left and right.
And offers them to you.
Negative two out of ten, would not recommend.
Fr, he doesn't think that it could be 'cuz you're busy. Probably you're offended that they haven't devoted themselves to you completely.
He wishes that everyone would be like them, on valley of thorns. But sadly, some see you as an equal or just an all knowing entity. Or even worse, but he doesn't talk about Shaftlands. At least some nations are good.
But he still thinks they're wrong in thinking you can have flaws too.
It's their fault for you leaving them!
2K notes · View notes
cieloclercs · 9 months
Text
what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc
PART: 5/? (read part 4 here)
summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more
pairing. charles leclerc x artsy!reader
warnings. it’s GROVELLING time !! sad charles, sad reader, swearing, everyone still kind of hates charles (as they should) angst but not quite as angsty as the last part
face claim. tara michelle
author’s note. i hope this is enough suffering for you guys 😭 i’m weak tho so there’s a tinyyy bit of progress at the end 👀 i feel like this one’s a bit messy so i’m sorry about that?? it’s also kind of just setting up the next part but oh well 😭 anyways, LAST PART COMING UP NEXT ☹️ i’m gonna miss this series :’(
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NOW PLAYING | Singapore 2023 post-FP1 interview: Charles Leclerc
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COMMENTS 32k
username i’m still charles’ number 1 hater rn but he looked so sad at the end… ☹️
username girl no we need to be strong! don’t fall for the sad puppy dog eyes (i know he’s cute but srsly don’t) 🫠
username you’re right, you’re right 😔 haters until the end 🫡
username sir don’t try and blame your shitty mistakes on y/n 😭😭
username HE LOOKS SO SAD I CANT 🥲
username i really hope y/n sees this and realises he’s actually sorry
username no way that’s too easy. charles needs to apologise properly !!
username oh my GOD the way he started smiling when he said y/n is his ‘lucky charm’ AND THEN THE WAY IT DROPPED WHEN HE REMEMBERED THEY’RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE IM GONNA SCREAM 😭😭😭💔💔💔
username charles do you see what you’re doing to us charlesy/n stans?? PLEASE JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL FFS 😫
username i swear if these two don’t pull their heads out of their asses soon I WILL COMMIT MURDER
username so real bestie 😔
username it’s such an invasion of privacy to ask about this though 😭
username fr the press don’t know when to keep out of it 😒
username i think he knows he’s in love with her now, he’s just not sure how to fix things ☹️
username i’m scared this feels like right person wrong time you know? 😃
username don’t say that 🫣 i’m just praying y/n forgives him. as soon as he apologises properly ofc, can’t make it too easy for him mwahahah
username i want to keep hating him but i’ve never seen him look that sad 🥲
username CHARLES YOU DONT GET TO ACT LIKE THE VICTIM WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CAUSED THIS
username so true. he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and apologise 🙄
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liked by yourfriend and 47,837 others
yourusername always on my mind ☁️💫
view all comments…
username SHE’S BACK IN MONACO GUYS EVERYBODY STAY CALM
username MOTHER HAS RETURNED !!!
username wait is that f1 she’s watching on her phone? 🤨
username omg it is 🤭
username SHE WATCHED THE RACE OMFG
username charles podium as well 😩😩
username it’s like he knew she was watching 🥹
username i hate how quickly everyone’s switching up on the charles situation just because of that interview but at the same time i can’t deal with my parents fighting anymore i need them to make up 😫
leclerc_pascale Bienvenue à la maison, ma fille ❤️ / welcome home, my girl
yourusername 🥰
arthur_leclerc YOU’RE BACK
yourusername did you forget? i literally saw you twenty minutes ago 😭
username the caption 🤔
username we can all agree she’s talking about charles, right?
yourfriend ma femme 🤩 / my wife
yourusername mon amour 😘
username she is everything.
username forget her art SHE IS THE ART RIGHT THERE
charles_leclerc belle / beautiful
username EXCUSE ME??
username SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE PHAHAHA
username charles get tf out of here 😭
username i love how y/n’s just straight up ignoring him 😭
username CHARLES IS HERE GUYS HOW ARE WE FEELING
username i’m so conflicted rn
username like i want them to make up but at the same time he needs to SUFFER like he made y/n suffer
username fr, make him squirm a little 😌
username idk guys, if charles leclerc commented ‘belle’ on MY instagram, i’d be on my knees in an instant 🫣
username girl please 😭
username charles babe please go away you’re ruining the vibes x
username i swear to god if he’s here just to fuck with y/n’s head again i’ll fucking kill him
username he wouldn’t do that
username @charles_leclerc if you want to win her back this is NOT the way to do it
arthur_leclerc @charles_leclerc what did i tell you? 👀
username HAHAHA ARTHUR STOP
joris_trouche @charles_leclerc you should listen to our advice mate 😃
yourfriend @arthur_leclerc @joris_trouche shut up both of you 😒
joris_trouche yes ma’am 🫡
username they’re all ganging up on him 😭
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liked by formula1updates and 9,736 others
f1gossip Charles Leclerc and Y/N Y/L/N spotted at the same night club in Monaco 👀
view all comments…
username OH MY GOD IS IT HAPPENING??
username there’s no way this is coincidence charles is boutta beg for forgiveness i’m calling it
username y/n’s actually smiling tho 😭 charles please don’t ruin it x
username we need y/f/n to scare him off before he can ruin her night 🤞
username AHAHAHA YES
username what i’d give to be in that club rn 😔
username fr y/n better be roasting him 😭
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➜ part 6
taglist: @cxcewg @incoherenciass @formula1mount @allywthsr @meabhcavanagh @driveswiftly13 @zzblooda @gaslysainz @be-your-coffee-pot @siovhanroy
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unbidden-yidden · 2 months
Note
Ok so I can't screenshot so I'm putting this in the asks but people are talking about netanyahu because he's getting the attention right now. And that's because he's genociding Gaza right now and nothing else of that scale happened since. So of course he's the it girl rn.
Like I wholeheartedly agree with you, we shouldn't be saying people "deserve to die", I just want to point out that I don't like it whenever people go "but why are people talking about this figure (who's getting all the attention right now) and not these other figures? (Who aren't getting attention)"
But TLDR netanyahu's doing some fuck shit that's getting reported on so obviously he's getting talked about the most generally.
To bring it back to the original conversation, people were talking about Putin when the Russo Ukraine war was going on. I saw people get excited at the idea that he might have cancer when that lump on his face showed up. Putin was the it girl and now it's netanyahu.
Look I'm sure you don't mean it this way, but the original comment I was responding to was antisemitic and your comments excusing it are microaggressions.
[Original post for reference]
There are a few things going on here:
1. People are giving a hugely disproportionate amount of attention to Israel's military response to the October 7th massacre in Gaza because they are antisemitic. There have been plenty of humanitarian crises affecting Palestinians in Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, and Egypt, yet the world literally only cares about them if they can use it as a cudgel against Jews. Obviously it's a humanitarian crisis and it deserves attention, and Israel deserves scrutiny and accountability for its actions. But the laser focus on Israel and only Israel belies the true motivation.
2. There are numerous other humanitarian crises happening right now that affect substantially more people, and which are unquestionably genocide. Can you name them? Can you tell me the relevant major players by name? Can you tell me the number of people murdered? Why or why not?
3. Specifically naming Bibi out of every possible vile human one could name, to me, specifically, a Jew - that's extra sus. Taken in combination with the previous points? Yeah, it's antisemitic.
4. The genocide of Ukraine by Russia is still ongoing, and ignorance about it is leading to dwindling support to such an extent that Ukrainians are having to ration bullets to defend themselves with. This one isn't meant as a scold, by the way — the plight of Ukraine is getting intentionally buried. Please don't stop talking about Ukraine, they need all the help they can get.
[And in b4 someone thinks I'm trying to say you shouldn't pay attention to what is happening in Gaza: please DO keep paying attention to Gaza and keep holding Bibi's feet to the fire. He's awful, his policies are awful, and he's encouraging the absolute worst members of Israeli society for his own selfish reasons. The people of Gaza are going through hell and need our help. Just please, for the love of G-d fact check things first and make sure you're not "supporting Palestine" by being antisemitic. Also make sure you are holding Hamas responsible for its part in the humanitarian crisis.]
232 notes · View notes
So tired of Israel pushing nauseating war propaganda talking points for weeks on news and media outlets while slaughtering innocent civilians and committing an outright genocide, so I put together a list of common lies which are so easily debunked and just annoying to see at this point:
1. “Palestinians don’t exist! Palestine never existed historically etc”
Meanwhile they’re literally trying to oust Christians living there since the 4th century and Muslims there since at least the 7th century, not to mention the Palestinian‘s relation to the biblical Philistines.
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2. “Israel isn’t racist and white supremacist in nature, they love ppl of color!”
And then minorities and immigrants are treated like garbage in Israel and forcibly sterilized.
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3. “Israelis don’t want to steal land, they just want to live in peace with Palestinians!”
A simple map disputes that claim immediately. Zionists have given up even the pretence of the two state solution.
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4. “There was nothing in Palestine before Israelis arrived!! Israelis built everything”
Meanwhile just view photos of Palestine pre-1948 and you see a vibrant and illustrious people trying to free themselves of brutal British colonial rule.
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5. “Israel isn’t a genocidal settler colonialist state it’s Palestinians who are violent!”
It was literally the demonic white supremacist British colonialists who stole Palestinian land and then served it to Zionists on a silver platter when they had no right to do so.
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6. “Palestinians are all racist, Muslim terrorists and Israel is kind and tolerant! Only Muslims can support Palestine, no one else.”
Such a fake claim when almost 1 out of 10 Palestinians is Christian and Muslim Palestinians live together peacefully.
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7. “Israel is a friend of the USA and has American interests at heart”
And the reality is that if a Muslim country was guilty of killing US soldiers like during the 1967 USS Liberty incident, they would’ve been nuked immediately.
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8. ���Why don’t Muslim countries take in Palestinians then, Muslims don’t care about Palestine etc”
They already HAVE taken so many Palestinian refugees in with compassion, but not every Palestinian wants to leave the land that belonged to their ancestors.
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9. “Palestinians are evil terrorists who are all Hamas members that kill children etc”
And then you look at the stats and Israel is the one mass murdering literal children everyday. Half the population in Gaza is a child and the average age is 19. So fucking disgusting fr to murder innocent children and then lie about it.
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And I could go on but this is just a short list. I’m begging ppl to do their research on the atrocities that are happening in occupied Palestine rn it’s so disturbing but it needs to be spoken about. So nasty how many ppl are silent and complacent when their voices could do a whole lot to change the discussion to a fact-based and logical one. I’m praying to god everyday for this genocide to end.
248 notes · View notes
Text
FNAF Dashboard Simulator
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🐊 not-coughin Follow
guys I hate living in hurricane utah. you will not believe what i just saw.
#cryptid sightings
🐰 springbonnie-and-friends
Well? You cant just say that and tag it #cryptid sightings and not elaborate!
🕶️ cryptid_hunter Follow
Dont you know that Utah is full of cryptids man. They probably saw the Wire Monster
🐰 springbonnie-and-friends
The what.
📸 Wire-Monster-Heritage-Posts Follow
Official Wire Monster Heritage Post
🐰 springbonnie-and-friends
WHAT?
535 notes
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🛼 he-was-a-rollersk8er-boi Follow
GUYS IM ACTUALLY ILL. I WENT TO THE SKATEBOARD PARK AFTER HOURS AND A GIANT METALLIC MONSTER GIRL ON WHEELS JUST INSULTED ME. AND THEN SHE DID THE TRICK I HAD BEEN PRACTICING BUT SHE DID IT BETTER
🛹 tony-fawk Follow
tfw you're so bad at rollerskating that your sleep paralysis demon shows up to outdo you
🛼 he-was-a-rollersk8er-boi Follow
PLEAAAAASE NO
89 notes
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🎩 f-bears-family-diner Follow
We know what you did.
🌻 farmgurl1 Follow
This whole blog is giving ARG guys. But I googled the restaurant and it used to be a real place??? Someone pls explain
4 notes
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⬜️ middle-of-nowhere-deactivated-02132022
GUYS I'm so scared for my life right now! bumped into his weird guy on the street and his hat fell off and his whole head was BALD AND PURPLE. like his skin was purple. And he smelled like roadkill. Did I just encounter a zombie?!
🎇 slaymechanic Follow
omg youre so rude! why are you demonizing that poor homeless man?! blocked
💌 cutsie_side_blog Follow
OP makes me sick
🖼️ simple-artist Follow
K
💽 foundfootagelvr3
U
🛤️ i-like-trains Follow
N
🏙️ king-sh1t Follow
G
🎼 classicalmusic1 Follow
P
🐰 springbonnie-and-friends
O
87 notes
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🔎 henry-emily-sightings Follow
Oh my god guys normally I just post about whenever this guy ends up on the news but I literally saw him IRL today! He's moved back to Hurricane Utah?! Oh my god!
🐻 fr3dbear_fan Follow
SAY SIKE RN HE SAID HED NEVER RETURN
🕵️ problem-sleuther Follow
you mean that guy who was arrested for killing a bunch of kids including his own daughter??? should we be worried
🔎 henry-emily-sightings Follow
Clearly you haven't done your research. It wasn't him. They're still not sure who the murderer was but a lot of online fans believe that the murderer might have been Henry Emily's co-owner and friend William Afton. Naturally the guy disappeared shortly after Emily's arrest. Right, @william-afton-sightings ?
🔍 william-afton-sightings Follow
The guy's a ghost. I've literally turned this blog into a search for the Vintage Spring Bonnie suit, seeing as it was what the murderer wore to kill the missing kids. It's also missing, btw. It was also the only suit William Afton would wear, and some reports say he didn't like it when employees wore his suit. I'm hoping if I look for the Vintage Bonnie suit, then Afton might be too.
🐇 bonnie_lvr Follow
I've seen a spring bonnie suit but it was probably a crappy cosplay or smth. horror attraction by my place is trying to make it freddys pizzeria themed (disgraceful)
🔍 william-afton-sightings Follow
I have literally never seen a cosplay of Spring Bonnie. DM me PLEASE
💽 foundfootagelvr3
WAIT BONNIE_LVR ARE YOU IN HURRICANE BECAUSE I SAW THAT PLACE TOO. OMG IS THIS WHY MR EMILY IS BACK?!
134 notes
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🎬 vintage-show-polls Follow
🐊 not-coughin Follow
Ugh this is such a niche tv show all of you are just voting based on what you know of the animatronics, not the show. gtfo posers
💽 foundfootagelvr3
OMG PLEASE VOTE FOXY HES SUCH A FASCINATING VILLAIN PLS PLS PLS PLS FOXY SWEEP
459 notes
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reminder this is unreality. go ahead and vote in the poll and click the link of that tagged blog tho
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munsster · 1 year
Text
kurt kunkle and his bimbo girlfriend
A/N: this week has literally forced me to be obsessed with this greasy little slasher (soooooo my inbox is surely open!) (gif creds: @stevesnailbat)
Pairing: Kurt Kunkle x Fem!Bimbo!Reader
Warnings: Spree (2020) related content, kurt kunkle, smut/suggestive themes, MDNI, slasher themes (blood, gore, murder, ghostface), pet names (baby, slasher), cam/stream sex
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im sorry but gamer bf x bimbo gf trope is actually flooring me rn
he’s just this greasy little streamer you started watching and you’re this total babe who’s obsessed with him
and you are really obsessed with him
you are literally his Number one fan
if kurt kunkle has 100 fans, youre one of them. if kurt kunkle has 1 fan, its you. if kurt kunkle has no fans, you’re dead.
you plugging kurtsworld96 at any given chance, like he’s so confused the first time he hears you do it, but then he gets so happy and just pulls you in
you being the first one to be super excited about his amount of viewers/followers
a celebratory kiss for ur streamer bf 🥰
also getting really worried when he seems to be in a little bit of trouble (ie cops in the background yikes)
him always reassuring you that he’s fine and he’ll figure it out
you dont know it but he’ll do anything you say, even if it meant turning off his stream for the night
you literally suggested doing cam stuff together before chat suggested it, but now chat is like obsessed with that because theyre a bunch of pervs
you treating chat like a sassy lil mama (“ew! behave yourselves” “ask nicely” “‘put it in her ass’ oh cmon, you know better” “shhh, quit being bratty, thats not how good little viewers get what they want, now is it?”)
youre such a lil price gouger, youre like “okay if someone sends in $50, i’ll let you guys watch us” and chat loves you so obviously they end up doing that
kurt really really loves you, plus you do wonders for his numbers. viewers basically double when he even mentions you
“‘kill your gf’ pfft yeah right, i know all his tricks, i’d like to see him try!” and you’re like in his lap and grinning and he just grins at you and when you turn to face him, he lands a big ol smooch on you
even after months of being together, he still gets nervous around you
and you always tell him to “relax, baby, it’s just me” all while he’s literally buzzing in your presence
he probably likes his hair pulled tbh
like even when you just run your fingers through his hair, he’s purring, he’s so slutty for it
asking him to do skincare/haircare with you as an excuse to take showers together 😝
like of course he’s gonna do it 1) because he loves you and 2) because afterwards, he smells like a candy store
you picking out his outfits because what he wears now is actually a cry for help
no because he would actually let you treat him like a dress up doll
you being really excited about it and telling him to do GRWM and OOTD segments on his streams (which are completely led + narrated by you, but he doesn’t need to know that)
him teaching you how to play video games (even though you already kinda know, you let him have his moment)
you designing the clickbait thumbnails for all of his youtube videos and they’re definitely all sparkly and pink and cute
you begging him to come with you to get your nails done, telling him he doesn’t have to get his nails done, you just want him to go with you
but of course, you convince him to get his nails done (just a basic polish *cough cough* in literally neon green, his choice) and he flaunts it to stream
he definitely makes fun of bobby like “my girlfriend is literally so hot. where’s yours? oh wait……”
and you HATE bobby
you think he’s a bad friend to kurt, but you’d never tell him that. you just scheme like “noooo baby, hang out with me, not bobby” and he’s like okay 🥰
also him being a little protective and possessive over you
like when other attractive people glance at you, he’ll grab your hand or put his arm around you or ask for a little kiss (all of which you do happily)
i love yous are thrown around like none other, and it makes him blush everytime. even when youre just tuning in, if he gets that “i love you, slasher” message, he’ll go red as a tomato
oh that reminds me: youre favorite movies being slasher films like scream and scary movie and american psycho, and he’s not stupid so he definitely senses the theme there
bonus: he definitely buys one of those ghostface masks just to surprise you (and get into your pants)
you offering to help clean his car after particularly gory kills (and he knows ur really good with aesthetics and detail work)
also you cleaning him up after particularly gory kills 🥺
like he’ll come home with blood streaked down his face, and you’re like “aw baby 😟 c’mere”
he LOVES it, he feels like a little puppy dog around you because you take care of him so well
you are all about sneak attack kisses, and he never knows what to do with them, he just sits there and smiles while you hold his face and pecks his lips
bro eventually, he’ll start laying the rizz down on you (and he’s not very good at it but) its so sweet that he’s genuinely trying and happy
like he’ll just spit pick-up line after pick-up line whenever you’re around, and you just giggle and kiss him on the cheek
you don’t even have to ask and he’ll buy you cute clothes. not that he’s insanely rich or like raking it in, but he makes enough, and he will spend money on something nice for you before he buys something for himself
him begging to drive you anywhere and anywhere even though your car works perfectly fine, he just wants to do things for you
also him begging to rig your car with cameras, too, just so when he does have to be in your car, he can still stream
ummm bonus: he definitely sets up a camera above his bed so like not only can he do sleeping streams, but…. you know…… angles 😌
you bringing him snacks and drinks during his stream and he gets the biggest googly eyes
you’ll just walk in in like the skimpiest little outfits, grinning and winking at the camera before giving kurtie a sloppy kiss
yall he’s so fucking dumb (in a loving way), but you’ll get into the car in like the most revealing and tight top and he’ll get all nervous and try to angle the cameras like ‘yall seeing this???’ all while smirking to himself
him accidentally referring to you as his wife on multiple occasions while streaming
letting you put your songs in the queue every so often
bonus: after hearing you play it literally once, his new favorite song is ‘stars are blind’ by paris hilton. that shit bangs and he knows it
him making you a playlist of all his songs (and he actually falls in love when you mention the fact that you listen to it almost constantly)
he actually can’t believe you love him and you’re of fan of his work and you’re actually the cutest thing he’s ever seen (nice tits, too)
it takes a lot of convincing and proof on his part that you truly love him, but you’re not shy about showing it and you’ll prove it to him anytime he needs
masterlist
552 notes · View notes
spacexseven · 1 year
Note
tunaaaaa I've been reading ur Childe Thing sooo much that I've been thinking of I Love Amy aus nonstop. its a problem. in honor of bsd s4 im gonna rapid fire a couple out for the Bsd Boys!
lets talk dazai. I feel like this could go a lot of ways with him. like, if its ada dazai, you probably don't really get the sense that something is kinda off with him until you're a bit too deep to back out. he seemed so sweet when you first met- fuckin weird, but sweet! no harm in trying to help him win over a crush, right? for pm dazai, you obviously know hes fucked in the head the second you meet him, so you agree to help him out of a fear of what he might do to you if you dont rather than a sense of altruism. either way, its kinda hard to notice him getting a little overly-attached to you just cuz of how naturally obnoxious and clingy he is. even if he starts to escalate you might not get it cuz hes pretty fast and loose about LITERALLY kidnapping you and tying you up in his apartment/mafia holding cell right off the bat (gets very pouty about you "ignoring" him). doesnt help that hes so out of touch with his own emotions he probably doesn't even know he has a thing for you for a whiiile. trust me tho, being nice to him and taking care of him when hes sick or injured WILL wear him down. you'll only kind of get it when you try to give him some new pointers on his crush and he seems to just get? annoyed? mutters something about you talking about someone else while you're SUPPOSED to pay attention to HIM. or when he keeps being weirdly affectionate with you in full view of X when hed usually forget you exist as soon as he sees them. or you woke up chained to a chair (again) but this time hes perched in your lap and scolding you about avoiding your "boyfriend" before shoving his lips against yours. couldve been any of these occasions really.
cant BELIEVE I didn't think of gogol the first time I talked about this this is almost EXACTLY what yes doing to sigma rn. when this fuckin 6'2 clown terrorist traps you against a wall and starts questioning about why you were talking to "his darling", you are 10000% sure you're gonna die. almost gives you whiplash how fast his tone changes once you convince him you have NO interest. all smiles all of the sudden, picks u up under the armpits like a cat to right ur posture and pats you on the head, declaring that you will be his magicians assistant for a while! you do not have a say in this, if you'd like to keep your skin. while you feel bad about aiding and abetting this stalking case, you get the sense that hes. not ever gonna actually make a move. kinda just Wants To Stalk. goes on about how he cant let himself be tied down like that (whatever that means). he does talk about just murdering his darling a lot but you've managed to convince him that thats unnecessary baggage connecting them to him so hopefully that keeps him sated until his goldfish-esque attention span finally moves him onto a new target. and it does! the problem is that its you. I think that once he realizes he likes you, he's just gonna vanish. poof gone. hes had a lot of fleeting obsessions with ill-fated darlings before, but youre something new. hes never actually gotten to know someone before! ugh. hes caged by his feelings for you, but the despair hed feel from killing you would be a cage all its own! frustrating!!!!! maybe if he just leaves and never thinks about you ever again this'll just go away like all of his other crushes. doesnt work. expect him back in a month, snuggling into your neck and babbling inane about having missed you. he tied you up again so youre just gonna have to let him do that. its fine youre used to this with him.
really wanted to do this with chuuya and fyodor too but im scared of them being OOC help me.
- 🩹
omg so this turned out to be Very Long :O quick context for any1 who is unfamiliar w i love amy—it's a webtoon (highly recommend btw) where the yandere character starts to fall for her 'target/rival' instead of her initial love interest. for more info + the childe version, check out this post.
cw: yandere characters (dazai, fyodor, nikolai), stalking, kidnapping, imprisonment, obsessive behavior, threats of violence to reader. (this whole post came off a little silly instead of serious But mind the cws anyway!)
this is best read with a male reader (to keep it consistent w i love amy) but there's no pronouns used or descriptions for reader, so do as you like. also, reader makes morally questionable decisions :>
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(pm) dazai is to be avoided at all costs. that was the rule you put down for yourself after witnessing one of his very public threats to some poor pedestrian who had bumped into him. the dramatic coat, the blank expression, the natural ease with which he handled the weapon in his hand—everything about him was just...alarming.
however, despite all your efforts, he's obstructed your path home with a deadly glare and a hand in his pocket.
according to dazai, he did not appreciate your recent conversation with X, (as he claimed, they were too popular to spare most people more than a few friendly greetings—so why were you having a full-fledged conversation with them?) who were you, even, to get in his way? you sputter out some excuse, some explanation as to why he misunderstood the situation and it was all just work-related, and fortunately, he seems convinced, at least enough to relax his hold on you and shift the blaring malice in his stance to something less frightening.
obviously, you couldn't refuse when he offers you what he calls a mutually beneficial proposition. you help him get closer to X, and he won't kill you! win-win, don't you think?
the thing about dazai, you soon learn, is that despite the murderous energy he gives off, he's painfully annoying, more so than frightening. it almost feels like you're dealing with an obnoxious child, with how he's constantly whining and tugging at your sleeve and complaining about how useless you're being.
and it also makes you wonder if he's ever really had a friend, because he's got some strange expectations for you. he's all too possessive, too paranoid, and expects you to be perfectly fine with it. you consider telling him that he's not supposed to hold you hostage every time he thinks you're spending "too much time with someone else", but after the 4th attempt, you've understood that there was no getting to him. at least he stopped with the threats to your other friends (well, he promised you that he'd stop), and that seemed like the only thing he was willing to compromise on. he doesn't ease up on the breaking-into-your-room-to-visit-you stunt, either, especially when you're "ignoring him". despite all that, maybe out of some form of pity, you still help him out. you drop off food when he's sick and try to explain that imprisonment is not the key to a healthy relationship. you hang out with him even if you're terrified of all the mafioso you come across when you visit the hq with him, and after all of it, you're mostly convinced that he wasn't going to kill you anytime soon. in fact, the two of you seemed to be building an unusual friendship.
but when he comes to visit you one day when you're sick and actually knocks on the door and texts you beforehand, you tell him that this would be the best way to approach X if he ever hears that they're sick. though you're expecting some excitement, or some self-satisfaction for improving a little, instead of looking excited, dazai looks frustrated. for the first time, he looks genuinely...upset. and when he asks you why you can't appreciate that he was looking out for you and not X, you're left at a loss for words. you're not sure if this was a sign that he was starting to learn not to cross your boundaries or a warning that he was beginning to like you a little too much
and things only get stranger. he becomes more observant, asks you more questions about yourself rather than X, and even starts holding your hand in full view of X. when you mention that X was really looking forward to a new movie coming out and that he should try to ask them out, he gets upset by your suggestion, grumbling about you paying more attention to X and only caring about them instead of asking him if he wants to see the movie with them. so, unsure of how to respond, you echo his question. he beams at you and happily declares that he only wants to watch the movie with you.
somewhere along the line, it happened that dazai himself started to realize just how much he liked you, and he spirals out of control. the already overwhelming physical contact turns more intimate, with dazai holding your hand at every possible moment, pressing himself as close to you as humanely possible without squeezing the air out of you, and sitting on your lap whenever the opportunity presents itself. he stops responding to anything that isn't an endearing pet name and introduces himself as your boyfriend. X seems to be eradicated from his mind, as well as anyone that wasn't you, though it feels as though you're the only one that has a problem with this change. dazai takes to it naturally, seamlessly inserting himself into your life.
"what's wrong?" dazai's sprawled across your lap with the biggest grin on his face, the remote in your hand long ripped away by him, "come give your boyfriend a kiss~"
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you've...heard of fyodor. it was more overhearing whispers shared between people, but the mention of his name seemed to intrigue everyone who heard it. you've heard that he was a mysterious man who walked into the city one day and never left, and you've heard that he was the owner of an expensive casino. you've even heard that he had a tendency to stand on top of rooftops at night, but you've heard tons of variations and rumors. one statement, however, rang true in everyone's ears.
fyodor dostoevsky was taken with X.
that was putting it lightly—obsession was exactly what it was. though X was clearly unaware of what was being said, because, as they assured you one day while you walked out with them, fyodor was just a friend! and he was a very interesting guy, with some strong beliefs. he wasn't some criminal mastermind! all he did was keep to himself. and that, as they confidently declared, wasn't a crime.
but you had reason to not believe X, after all, it wasn't them at the receiving end of a laser focused gaze and a creepy smile. (it scared you so much that you ran home and ordered a burglar-proof lock for your door the same night) and it also wasn't them who sat down across from you while you were having your breakfast in the café nearby. anyone would have been better than who it was.
"hello," fyodor waves a fork at you, his fingers positioned gracefully on the silver cutlery (and of course, you think bitterly, he was evil and beautiful. just your luck), "i hope you can spare me a few minutes."
he wasn't asking, but you melted at his soft tone. for all people loved to talk about him, why hadn't they mentioned how hard it was to take your eyes off him? awkwardly, you take another bite of your food, nodding at him.
he asks you about X, though it's more of an interrogation disguised as casual conversation. he easily waves around his fork, smiles at you with an unnerving expression, and stares at you a little too long. by the end of it, your food is finished and his fork is placed neatly back onto the table and you've sustained no injuries. better yet, he finally seems to have (reluctantly) removed your name from his hit list.
what you weren't expecting was for him to start seeking you out. you get strange looks when fyodor waits outside your workplace with an umbrella—your umbrella—leaving you with no choice but to walk with him unless you wanted to get home soaked. he lists off X's habit and asks you to add on to his list, ignoring your reply of "that's just creepy". he tells you that he wants to respect X's privacy by not using cameras to spy on them so will you answer him or should he use the cameras? and what else could you do then?
at the very least, he didn't seem serious about attempting to kidnap or imprison X. he seemed fascinated by them, if anything. like he was...studying them. being with him wasn't as bad as you'd though, no matter how much you hated to admit it, despite the foundation of this friendship was built on how amusing he found X. if he was in a particularly good mood, he'd even offer to help you out with your struggles in the pursuit of love. his ideas, however, were all sure to land you behind bars with a retraining order to boot. when you voiced your opinion to him, he only smiled and told you that he knew a thing or two about breaking out of a prison cell, much like he was recalling upon a fond memory.
the only good thing about this strange arrangement was that fyodor was really nice to look at. there was something mesmerizing about his every action, even the slight quirk of his lips or the way his hair fell on his forehead. the ease with which he slipped on his hat (which, by the way, what was with all his not-weather-appropriate clothing? was he not sweating?), and the commanding air around him. so while he spoke seriously about X and his distaste for most of the human population, you tuned him out and focused on admiring his pretty eyes and how his lips wrapped around his fork and—ugh, you were starting to sound as creepy as him. but honestly, you had a feeling he already knew that you found him attractive. fyodor was far too good at reading people, far too perceptive to let something as obvious as your attraction to him slip.
your mistake was foolishly believing that you'd be safe as long as you didn't act on those feelings.
it felt strange, however, when he started reaching your usual table first, having already asked for your go-to meal and watching with thinly veiled delight as you stared down at the hot plate. and it's your coworkers now that get stared at, your friends who get the silent threat of a fork pressed against smooth skin, and you that everyone whispers that fyodor dostoevsky is taken with.
the meaning behind his increasingly strange behaviour doesn't really hit you, not until you've bumped into X again, who you haven't seen around in a while.
"i see that you and fyodor are becoming good friends now," they grin, "i'm almost jealous of how quickly you warmed up to him."
long fingers reach to caress your cheek before a perfectly poised hand places itself on your shoulder. fyodor's unmistakable voice replies in your stead.
"we're friends? is that what you've heard?" fyodor dips his head down to lock eyes with yours, "why don't you correct them about that, darling?"
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you should have trusted sigma when he told you that nikolai gogol was bad news. as he clarified, so bad that, coincidentally, the ministry of justice hq was moved away at least by two states when nikolai came to visit.
but how were you to know that he was in love with one of your acquaintances? and how were you to know that his idea of love was this frightening? just when you were making your way back after a lukewarm conversation about work with X, you were slammed up against the wall by a person with a top hat and a coat and an honestly terrifying expression. then nikolai, as he later introduced himself, started grilling you with questions, ruthlessly asking about why you were with X and why did they smile at you and where does your family live, after which he happily told you about his many previous experiences with torture and how he would love to show you.
you're not sure what convinced him to let you go, whether it was your trembling legs or your teary promises that you had no interest in X in that way, but here you were now—alive, terrified, and offered the position of 'magician's assistant' (though the magician himself refused to tell you why the position was open for so long) and all it took to land the increasingly strange job was to talk to X and listen to nikolai threaten to torture you in graphic detail.
(among all the crazy people you had seen around here—that so-called 'world's best detective' who snatched your bag of candy right from your hands, that other person who started doing push-ups in the middle of the road, and someone giggling holding a bag of lemons by the port—you thought that nikolai definitely fit right in. not that you were going to tell him that)
while the position wasn't exactly what you wanted, nor were you too keen on spending more time around nikolai, something about the glint in his uncovered eye and the hand gripping your shoulder told you that you really wouldn't want to reject his offer. contrary to what you may have assumed, assisting nikolai only meant becoming a partner to his criminal activity, which revolved around stalking X, talking to them to find out all the information nikolai can't get by stalking them, and stalking them even more to find out any more details that neither of you could get. (you've considered helping out as much as you can, leaving hints in the form of obscure drawings of nikolai and danger symbols, but later, when you catch sight of X waving to him, you realize the message did not come across the way you intended it to)
fortunately for them, (and for you. at least now, you won't be behind bars for assisting in abduction) nikolai seems to have no interest whatsoever in pursuing them any further. sure, he keeps books filled with information about X, and buys their favorite drink alongside his order, but he doesn't seem to want to do anything more.
while you could care less about why he does whatever he's doing, already chalking it all up to the fact that he was off his rockers, nikolai decides to enlighten you all the same. when he excitedly rambles on and on about freedom and feelings and why X must now die, you pretend to listen, never actually telling him that nothing he said made any sense to you. still, after insisting that he won't be very free behind bars either and that if he really didn't want to be tied down by his feelings, he should actually distance himself from them instead, it appeared that you finally got him to understand, and he hesitantly agreed to listen.
for the most part, everything is great after that. your life returns to normal, with no top hat wearing, cane wielding magician in the vicinity, and no more having to invade someone's privacy. and it was great! really! even if it was a little bit boring without nikolai's spontaneous plans (maybe that time in the amusement park was pretty fun, even if the only reason you had to go was because X was going there with someone else, much to nikolai's horror). there was something both unsettling and addictive about the crazy adventures nikolai swept you on, though it was for the best that he disappeared.
but then nikolai came back…acting a little odd.
his clinginess and a sudden desire for physical affection set off alarms in your head, though he acted like this was perfectly normal. at first, you told yourself that this must be some new jealousy plot—maybe he got this idea from a tv show he watched over his 'break', but he hadn't asked you if you wanted to be part of this ploy (not that he ever did, really).
and your suspicions only grew when he refused to let up on the act, holding onto you as if his life depended on it. his trips with you became increasingly frightening, and his grip on you increasingly tighter. he takes his new position by your side, not at all focused on X anymore, and instead observes you with the same look that was fixated on X not too long ago.
it only hits you that you've become his new target when you find yourself tied up to a chair, with him seated right in front of you with his face up to yours. the exact scenario you convinced him not to put X through.
"your advice sucks, by the way," he pouts, "i tried staying away but i couldn't stop thinking of you! don't be too upset, alright? we can have even more fun now that we're together!"
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lemon-natalia · 7 days
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Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 52
Augustine & Mercy are having a very intense convo about how they just murdered GOD and are dooming themselves, and Gideon 1.0, Gideon 2: Electric Boogaloo, and Ianthe are just … standing there
oh shit and Dominicus is gonna die and become a black hole? i mean given there’s a whole other book not sure where this is gonna go, maybe he was lying to everyone about that as well?
when Ianthe of all people is the one advocating to try and save people out of the goodness of her heart, you know you’re fucked
‘Well, Augustine, there’s something you should know’ could someone please say something in this series that isn’t ridiculously cryptic. also i totally forgot this guy was wearing Gid’s sunglasses the whole time lol
OH WAIT THE BITCH IS BACK. i knew it was too good to be true 
also YIKES poor Mercy, she was not my favourite character but god she did not deserve that
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also ah. hm. the above comment did not age well
oh this guys whole persona has just shifted. He’s still got that kinda irreverent jokiness & affability but he’s also evidently very pissed off, a lot less ‘lets have tea’ and more ‘do what i say or get fucked’
'then he looked at us, gave a crooked half smile’ ohhhh he has the same. fucking. crooked smile. that Gideon has in the BARI-star dream what the fuck
and he WAS the one who ordered Gideon-Part-1 to kill Harrow, for fucks sake. at least Harrow had Ortus be nice to her briefly cuz she’s three for three on her other parental figures trying to kill her at some point 
Gideon found out her bio dad is GOD, saw him die, saw him come back to live naked, and now found out he tried to kill her (kinda maybe its complicated) girlfriend. thats just ... so many different levels of traumatising
also i keep forgetting Gideon is literally looking like Harrow for all of this
GIDEON 1.0 ISN’T GIDEON, ITS PYRRHA DVE HIS CAV?!?!? yknow what so much else is going on rn i barely have the capacity to process that
and she was also sleeping with Commander Wake, was everyone just fucking eachother????? and i thought the love quadrangle in the last book was complicated. i’m guessing she shot Wake to stop her from potentially revealing the whole ‘i’m actually alive’ thing to the Emperor then?
also wow there’s a lot of consent issues being raised in the last couple chapters and this one, not just with dios apate major, but also like … you’re having sex with someone while possessing someone else’s body without their knowledge, but also also its the only body you have because they (presumably) killed you to absorb your soul. like what.
the drama and vast existential horror of this scene is only mildly undercut by the fact that the Emperor is having this crazy fight wearing only what is essentially an opalescent bathrobe
also why are there fucking TEETH at the bottom of the River? and Tongues?? and it thinks he’s a Resurrection Beast? i feel like there’s so much more to the River that we haven’t uncovered yet
and Augustine wasn’t wrong with what he said wayy before, the Emperor really did grant him more leniency than he did Mercy, at least he gave him a chance before murdering him
also cmon Ianthe you’re really gonna save that guy, really?
'Hands pressed. We died’ AGAIN?? i mean at least this time there’s a chance for her to come back given she’s done it once before?? also i do not know what to make of her seeing Alecto before she dies at all
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chaos-and-sparkles · 8 months
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Presenting:
Prowler Pavitr <3<3
Here's Pavitr's design in my Prowler Pavitr au akjdskjdskjkskdsk! It's my au where Pavitr is a fallen hero who used to be Spider-Man and becomes the Prowler, fueled by rage against a world and a system that forced him to pretend at perfection and then only hurt him and the people he loves.
I love him so much,, I have so much stuff in progress about him rn (working on the fics too). Gonna have chaipunk front and center, and like four separate plot arcs, I'm so insane about this au actually -
Anyway here's some infodump about his design inspirations and symbolism I put in it, I loveeeee talking abt him:
Hair -
Okay so this is after some time, like a couple months since Pav became the Prowler, and he's grown his hair out a bit now. It's kind of a mix of rejection of the "masculine" standard of short cropped hair by flaunting his longer curls that he's always been proud of and even had to grow to love He also dyes his hair purple! Bc he didn't wanna cut his hair but he wanted to do something to set himself apart from his old identity and also he's literally an impulsive 17-18 year old and wanted to do something that felt like owning his own self and asserting autonomy over his body etc etc
Something Borrowed -
The tie that he's using to tie back his hair is his original blue headband!! It doesn't go with his outfit at all but It's the original blue headband that Maya Aunty got for him all those years ago that he's been wearing forever and it snapped and broke in the battle that preceded what happened to her, and he still keeps it and ties his hair back with it instead The nosering (nath) used to be Gayatri's, they used to try out her jewelry on him and he loved that one so much she gifted it to him, and since he's basically left his old life and gone no contact with her it's all he has left of Gaya too
Main Outfit -
His jacket is loosely based on Krrish's leather jacket from the Bollywood movie series that's about a superhero named Krrish. I just think it has the dramatique and vibe Pav would like He binds his chest bc he still hadn't had top surgery but he's way more open about it, with the binding showing through the neck of the jacket now where he would have never dared to hint at it before,,, another thing about how he doesn't care about people's opinions and perceptions and standards anymore, he wants to say fuck you as much to everything in the system as he can and also piss people off while he's at it and a trans antihero/villain is a surefire way to do that. His dhoti is basically a dhoti pant, modified a bit bc i liked it
He has payals on his feet that make a faint chhan chhan noise when he approaches which has creepiness and cuteness potential imo I basically turned the prowler logo into his dhoti belt buckle askjdsjk
It's also slightly modified to mimic a trishul or even a diya shape, up for interpretation either way, bc trishuls are a symbol of Shiva, god of destruction, and diyas are a symbol of light in the darkness and the need to find it Also the chain around the dhoti at his hips is both a reference to decorative dhoti chain accessories and the lil things on it are his modified grenades that he uses for arson, bc Prowler Pav is big on arson and murder ajajsjsj
Prowler Claws -
His bangles/claws were hands down my favourite part to design!!
So his claws are of course his original spiderman bangles modified into the prowler claws But i based them on three weapons, each of which means something interesting for Pavitr
The first is bagh nakh. Literally translates to "tiger claws", famously used in a legend of Shivaji Maharaj They usually curl into the palm instead of going between the fingers like they do for Pav, but they're basically metal claws wound secretly around your hand for a sneak attack It's associated with bravery and righteous rage bc of Shivaji Maharaj but it's also really associated with stealth and an attack from unexpected quarters, being stabbed from a side no one saw coming. Which. Pavitr. The perfect hero, becoming the Prowler. Come on
Second is the trishul, aka trident That's the reason there are three prongs to his claw Trishul is the symbol of the god Shiva, and as i mentioned he's the god of destruction, as in he's part of the main triumvirate of gods who focus on creation preservation and destruction He also is really really associated with rage, especially destructive rage; he has a whole dance called the tandava for his rage which is a Huge Deal I can't stress this enough And because Prowler Pav is a being fuelled by rage against a system that has hurt so many including him that he wants to destroy and see burned, it is perfect for him The trishul is also seen as a symbol of goddess Kali, who's similar in the destruction goddess aspect and also is literally an embodiment of rage and violence that cannot be controlled which is more the theme I started out with, but whichever you notice first, it works either way. There's a whole myth in fact where Shiva had to lie beneath her feet to stop her destructive rampage before it ended the world.
And lastly, the urumi, aka the whip sword from Kerala Basically each of Prowler Pav's claws extend into whip swords when he does the swing/slash/whip motion This is really interesting at least to me, bc it means 2 things: 1) Pav still remembers and is actively using some of his skillset from swinging around as Spiderman. He does use the urumis to curl around distant objects and swing too, and they are very lethal weapons when used right, and that use requires a lot of skill, huge parts of which he built up by his experience 2) This is a weapon which requires an unimaginable amount of control, precision and strength And Pav is doing all that So all of his actions, every movement, is very deliberate and thought out. He's not doing any of this - turning away from heroism, becoming the Prowler, using these lethal weapons - on a whim. They are all very very deliberate.
Also one more thing - the blades of his claws are all retractable ofc But they are not protected or anything They slice up his palms and the in-betweens of his fingers whenever he uses them,, especially when he uses them as urumis And it would be so easy to fix the design or make gloves or smth so they don't do that But he doesn't ever do it He could make it so his hands don't bleed on using his claws But he doesn't want to
He is an angsty boyo...
Mask -
The eyes are ofc like the prowler mask design except I made them more curved and curled at the end bc that's a kind of shape often seen in traditional art of the headdress of Kali, goddess of uncontrollable violence as I've said before Then the part between them is meant to be based off a third eye, which is something both Shiva and Kali have. It opens at the height of their rage, it's meant to symbolise destructive fury for them both Although it's also used in an all seeing context otherwise but a lot of whitewashed bullshit is also there that dilutes sources to find connotations His theyyam-based tusks from his Spider-Man mask, I wanted to keep
The shape below the eyes is based off the noses in masks in various regional Indian tribal and traditional masks,,, a lot of them tend to have a very distinctive curly nose shape that I wanted to keep, a lot of these masks also depict rage or are intimidating and are very emotive And then ofc you have the bottom of the mask, I made the curved-ish cut based on the peacock-feather-y shape i was using but it's also based on the general shape of Kali's lips in traditional art where she has her tongue out, it's a big symbol of her rage and rampage I tried to put the tongue too but it looked awkward and honestly i thought it would be cooler to jsut leave the bottom half of the mask open and you can see Pav's mouth and his expressions through it a bit instead, in the spirit of that And also it's based a little bit off Krrish's mask, you can never escape the Krrish design Also there's the lil teeth. Those are often used in art for demons and animals,, and Prowler Pav is very cat coded in his behaviour in general tbh. He's like if an orange cat's fur got burned to black.
Anyway, so yeah, that's him!
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There are not enough fics of Jason just reacting to all the shit that happened while he was dead/in a coma/braindead/gone.
"Dick and Kory broke up???"
"Apparently Miriam Delgado is a name I need to add to my list :)"
"Danny is dead?"
"SUPERMAN DIED HOW THE FUCK DID THIS DOOMSDAY GUY JUST PUNCH SUPERMAN TO DEATH HE'S SUPERMAN."
"Also apparently Superman has a clone now???"
"who the fuck is this bane guy and how did he break B's back."
"What the fuck is the speed force."
"COAST CITY DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE - WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE?"
"Are the Green Lantern Corps around rn?"
"Hal Jordan became evil?"
"So Green Arrow also died and came back?"
"How many Green Lanterns are there anyways?"
"There's a Green Arrow 2.0 and he's the first one's kid? Poor guy."
"What the fuck do you mean the sun almost got eaten."
"Iris Allen is alive and time travelled here from the future with her grandson apparently??"
"Blockbuster is smart now?"
"Wait who the fuck is Neron."
"Dick moved to Bludhaven and became a fucking cop?"
"So Dickie finally got adopted."
"Martians almost took over the world?"
"Apparently while I was gone Gotham was targeted by a deadly plague, got hit by a giant earthquake, and basically got kicked out of the US?"
"Someone actually decided to date the Joker? Is she insane? Don't answer that."
"The entire population had to run so that the flash could siphon the energy to run a fucked up hunger games/olympics crossover race set by a pair intergalctic alien gods so they wouldn't Alderaan earth?"
"YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT BASICALLY EVERY HERO GOT THEIR AGE TEMPORARILY FUCKED UP? I NEED PICS ASAP."
"y'all went to war with a guy trying to literally hollow out the universe? damn."
"One of the Pretender's friends was a ghost that was actually an interdimensional portal to Apokolips?"
"The JLA kicked B out and almost fell apart because they found out he had made contingency plans to take em all out? You're telling me they were actually surprised? Old man's paranoid as fuck of course he has contingency plans."
"B and Supes told the rest the JLA their secret identities? I didn't think they had it in them."
"somehow the entire population got mind wiped and no longer remembers that Wally West is the Flash or that his identity used to be public. hm."
"B got arrested and put on trial for murder? lmao."
"WAIT HE WAS FRAMED BY BATGIRL 2.0'S DAD?"
"Jericho is alive???"
"Raven is also alive and a teenager now???"
"Blockbuster murdere- Catalina Flores? Ah, another name to add to my list, I see."
"Why did Gotham become a war zone- oh it was one of B's contingencies? That tracks. Wait another Robin died? I don't care if she wasn't actually using the name Robin when she died what the fuck B?"
"You were actually on to something working with this Orpheus guy but of course he got murdered too-"
"since when did deathstroke have a daughter and why is she missing an eye too?"
"DONNA DIED AND CAME BACK TOO?"
"The Atom's ex killed the Elongated Man's wife and hired Captain Boomerang to end the Pretender's dad? Damn."
"Look is Hal Jordan alive or not."
"EDDIE IS A SUPERHERO NOW?"
"is Jericho evil or not?"
Like there is so much that happened and so much to freak him out over.
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