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fruitymimi · 4 years

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My Darling - Light Yagami x Reader

Reader is a detective taking over the Kira case and Light likes being called Kira...

A/N: ok so yall... this might be a little much but im testing some other things like the posession and what not in this fic... cause i wanted to make free bird sort of dark, but i didn’t know if yall were comfortable with that. lmk tho. and before i even put it in the warnings, light mentions the reader calling him “my god” and this in no way is to disrespect any religion or make anyone uncomfortable. purely just light yagami’s god complex.

Also I promise I’m gonna write Free Bird soon, just tell me how dark I’m allowed to go with it cause... I can give y’all crazy Hawks..

warnings: DEATH NOTE SPOILERS even tho its been 14 years, light has reader call him “my god” and kira, lots of degradation, mentions of ryuzaki’s death, light and reader talk about light’s relationship with misa, so this includes cheating and talk about cheating, i think thats all? ill update if i notice anything else

pairing: Light Yagami x Reader

words: 3307... the way this is the longest story i’ve posted...

“It just doesn’t make sense. Why would Kira leave such a big opening for us both?” Y/N squinted their eyes, looking down at the table full of supposed “evidence” that was left after Ryuzaki’s death. Y/N was the only person Ryuzaki truly trusted to take his place, even though he always said he trusted Light, he still had his lurking suspicions.

“Maybe Kira wanted someone to find out..” Light said, looking at the back of their neck, his lip caught between his teeth. He’d always felt this way about Y/N, always had a hidden lust for them ever since he first laid eyes on them when he was taking his exams. His attitude would be different towards Y/N, always seemed more patient and kind with them, but annoyed and arrogant towards others.

Y/N shook their head, “you know, Light,” Y/N turned to face him, crossing their arms over their chest, “sometimes I wonder how I lost my valedictorian spot to you in highschool,” they jokingly teased, poking his chest. They could have sworn his eyes glowed red, but they were instantly comforted with his regular face, his typical heartthrob-like appearance.

Light chuckled, putting his hand behind his neck, a bright smile on his lips. “You know sometimes I think a bit too fast,” Light said, his eyes forming crescents as he smiled.

They hummed. “Maybe you got your valedictorian spot because you used your smile to your advantage. I remember that was how you got out of classes and late slips,” they rambled, turning back around to face the table of evidence.

Light licked his lips, watching when they bent over the table. “Ah… You noticed?” he asked, “I’d say you were flirting with me, hm?” Light tilted his head, noticing how they froze.

“Light, you know I couldn’t do that to Misa.” Y/N said, shaking their head as they went back to their work. “You know I couldn’t hurt a friend..” they mumbled.

Light let out a sigh, rolling his eyes. “It’s always ‘Misa this..’ or ‘Misa that’. Who cares how she feels?” Light hummed, placing his hand on top of Y/N’s, meeting their gaze.

Light has thought about this before. If he wanted to date Y/N, he didn't have to tell them about his true identity, though Light has always thought about how amazing it would be to have his darling on top of him, calling him Kira. It would feed his ego, make him feel like the most powerful man on earth.

Y/N pulled their hand away, tilting their head. “Shouldn’t you..? You’re her boyfriend.” They reminded, shaking their head once more.

“Mm, not for long..” Light whispered, leaning against the table with his head cocked back. “I don’t want her. I want someone else.” Light told Y/N, turning his head to face them again.

Y/N blinked, staring into Light’s eyes. It was a habit they had, a habit that developed during the beginning days of the Kira investigation when they were accusing Light of the murders and it was almost impossible to read his deadpan expression. But when they looked into his eyes at this very moment, it was almost like they shined red. Almost a twinkle of scarlet.

“What do you mean? Misa has plans to marry you, Light. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was naming your future kids as we speak-“

They were cut off by Light moving behind them, his lips awfully close to their ear as he opened his mouth to speak. “I said what I said.” he told them, “And I meant what I said.” Light ran his hand up Y/N’s arm, looking at their reflection in the computer screen in front of him with hooded eyes. “Now, Y/N, answer me this… Do you want something with me? All you have to do is nod that pretty head of yours and I’ll be all over you..” He whispered in their ear.

Y/N hesitated for a moment. They were “good” friends with Misa, by good, it means they have had their fair share of insults thrown back and forth due to Light’s obvious difference in tone and emotion towards the two. Misa always suspected that Light & Y/N were up to something, more importantly, the poor girl was so paranoid that she thought Y/N was going to take her precious Light, yet she never acted on her suspicions due to Light always being with Ryuzaki during the day, she just assumed they didn’t have anything to hide. Either way, Misa or not, Y/N wanted Light just as much as Light wanted them, it was all a question of morality. If Misa walked in and saw her boyfriend pressed against the person who was now the head investigator of the Kira case, Y/N was sure the girl would freak, though Light has always told Misa that if anything were to happen to Y/N and their family, Light’s relationship with Misa would change in an instant and he wouldn’t think twice.

Y/N bit down on their lip, nodding their head. “I want it..” they mumbled, closing their eyes when they heard Light laugh, that pretty little laugh he always did.

“Good choice.” Light said, spinning them around. Light looked down at them, pressing his lips against theirs. In all honesty, Light had never done anything intimately with feelings behind it. His body felt like it was on fire after discovering what it feels like to actually enjoy the kiss they shared.

Y/N wrapped his arms around Light’s neck, leaning into their kiss as they fluttered their eyes shut.

Light pulled away after a few seconds, his hand finding its way to the back of Y/N’s neck. “Pretty soon Misa will be out of the picture,” he hummed, his free hand finding the bottom of their shirt. “And you and I will be able to be together without having to worry about her,” Light tugged the thin fabric off of their body, tongue trailing down to wrap around their hardened nipple.

Y/N arched into his touch, a gasp escaping their clenched teeth. “What do you mean Misa will be out of the picture..?” they asked, brushing his hair back.

Light’s eyes flickered up to meet Y/N’s, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he took their nipple into his mouth. Light took the other nipple between his fingers, leaving Y/N’s question unanswered.

Again, Y/N could have sworn that they saw a red glow in his eyes when he looked up and smiled.

Light pulled off of their nipple with a pop. “I want you to get on your knees for me,” Light said to them, standing up from his kneeled position.

Y/N instantly did what he said, unbuckling his pants, allowing them to fall to his ankles. Y/N looked up at him, tugging at his plain black boxers to expose his half-hard cock. Light sucked in a deep breath, his hands coming to Y/N’s hair.

“Be good for me and choke on my cock..” Light whispered, watching them wrap their lips around his tip. He bit down on his lip, his hips arching forward to meet Y/N’s mouth, pushing himself farther down his throat. He watched his cock disappear down their throat. He gripped their hair, keeping their head in place as he thrusted his hips back and forth into them. He loved hearing them choke on his cock, it made him feel so powerful. “That’s fucking right, baby… Such a good little whore for me…”

They looked up at him through his lashes, keeping their mouth open for Light to use. Light made eye contact with them, keeping their hair from getting in their way. Light took in a sharp breath through his teeth, humming in approval. “So skilled using that pretty little mouth of yours… Keep doing it… Just like that..” he said to them. “Imagine what Misa would think… How do you think she would react if she walked into this room and saw you on your knees for me, taking all my dick down that pretty throat of yours… Think she’d be upset? ...Think she’d snap?” Light mumbled the last part, his eyes almost rolling back as he watched them.

Y/N hummed around him, the vibrations caused his dick to twitch in their mouth.. Y/N squinted their eyes, they knew Light knew something they didn’t, but Y/N would never think that he was Kira or something. To be honest, they never really know what they would do if Light turned out to be him and Ryuzaki was right. They always got so defensive and annoyed whenever Ryuzaki would even bring up the accusation. Y/N doesn’t think they could even be mad at Light, they loved him too much. He was basically their best friend.

“How does it feel, hm? Being below me, sucking my cock like the good little pet you are…” He watched them roll their tongue against his tip, swirling it over his slit. “Worship my cock like it’s your god, slut. You should be working but you’re mouth wide open all for me… It just shows I have so much control over you, yeah? I can tell you to do anything and you’d do it for me without hesitation?”

They nodded, maintaining eye contact with Light as he thrusted in and out of their mouth.

“Making all those lewd noises… Oh, I’m sorry. You can’t control how dick depraved you are,” Light laughed, “ When I fuck into that pretty hole, I want you to scream my name, darling. I want you to cry ‘cause you feel so fucking good getting split open on my cock.”

Light hummed, “Get up. I want you to lean over against the table. And pull off your pants..” Light said to them, pulling away from their mouth. They did as he said, leaning over the table how he wanted, bent over for Light.

Light walked over to them, rubbing his tip against their hole. “Aww… Look at that… Already stretched and ready… You’ve been waiting for a fat cock to fuck that pretty hole, hm? Before you came here, you fucked yourself, huh?” Light teased, slowly pushing his tip against them, “Well, my darling… Who does this body belong to now?”

“You..” Y/N whispered, laying their head down against the cold table.

Light gripped their hips, pushing into them with one hard thrust. “Say it louder. I don’t think you convinced me yet..” he said.

“My body’s all yours, Light. All yours to play with and fuck..” They told him, closing their eyes with a moan. “It feels so fucking good, Light..”

Light hummed, placing his hand on their lower back to keep them stable. “So fucking tight… that pretty little hole of yours is taking all of me… As it should..” he mumbled, beginning at a decent pace.

They felt their eyes cross at the feeling of his cock, gripping onto the edge of the table. “All for you, Light!” they moaned out when they felt him brush against their sensitive spot, toes curling.

Light chuckled. “Ah… I found it..” he whispered, angling his hips to rock against that area over and over. “I can’t wait for you to cum all over this cock… Have you acting like a bitch in heat. Look back at me when I fuck you. I want to see your face… That pretty expression.”

They looked back at him, biting down on their lip to conceal the noises spilling out of their mouth.

“Be as loud as you want, darling. Let everybody know that I’m the one making you feel this good. Let them know that your body is mine.” Light snapped his hips into them, quickening his pace. “Such a good little bitch, yeah?”

“I don’t want-… I don't want Misa to walk in!” Y/N arched their back, feeling tears fill at the brim of their eyes. They could feel the burn of the stretch from his cock still, but it was a feeling that they absolutely loved. They always dreamed about what it would be like to have Light stretching them open.

Light pulled their hair, pressing them against his chest. “I don’t fucking care. Let her walk in. You should be grateful for my cock. You know Misa always is ready for me and asks everyday, but I always say no because I want to be buried inside of you. Don’t fucking act like an ungrateful bitch, take what’s given to you. Say you’re sorry.”

Y/N nodded, the tears spilling out of their eyes. “I’m sorry, Light..”

“No, Y/N… What are you sorry for?” he asked, his hand coming down to smack their ass, watching the jiggle.

“I’m sorry for being ungrateful. Thank you for your cock..” They whimpered.

“I want you to call me your God..” Light whispered in their ear, “Say you’re sorry, ‘My God’.” Light told them.

They looked up at him, cheeks soaked in tears. “...What do you mean?” They asked, still gripping at the table with sore knuckles.

Light bit down on his lip to conceal a smile. “Oh… I forgot.. Cute little detective doesn’t know what I’m talking about..” Light would be lying if he said this conversation wasn’t egging him on, lying if he said the thought of Y/N being stretched on his cock and not knowing his true identity didn’t excite him.

Y/N bit down on their lip, rocking their hips backward to meet his thrusts. “I-I don’t understand what you’re talking about..” Y/N whimpered, looking up at him through their lashes.

Light let out a deep breath, humming into their ear. “You being so oblivious is so sexy, you know..” Light continued moving his hips, feeling Y/N clench around him. “What if I told you…” Light took his sweet time punctuating each of his words with a rough thrust, looking down at them, “What if I told you that the man who’s fucking into this tight hole of yours knew something you didn’t about Kira, hm?”

Y/N winced at the feeling, “If you have affiliations then-- fuck, then you should have told me, Light. You know how important this case was to Ryuz-”

“I don’t have affiliations with Kira, darling…” Light leaned down, mostly for dramatic effect. He took Y/N’s jaw into his hand, making them look up in the reflection of the computer screen. Y/N opened their eyes, looking up at their two moving bodies, listening to his voice and the sound of skin slapping against skin. He rolled his hips into him, hitting deeper areas as he breathed heavily into their ear.

“I am Kira.”

Y/N looked at him in the computer reflection. “Light don’t.. Joke around with me like that…” His eyes were doing that red thing again.

Light hummed. “I felt you clench around me, darling. Does that simple idea excite you? Getting fucked by someone you’ve been chasing for so, so long, only to end up at his mercy… If you tell on me, you’ll have no choice but to tell them how you found out and what you were doing to find this out. Imagine how disgusted the press would be if they found out you were spread open for Kira’s cock, hm? No… Imagine how disgusted Ryuzaki is in you... “ Light chuckled.

Y/N moaned out at his words, smacking a palm over their mouth as they went wide eyed. Something about the particular situation was sending them into a frenzy. Their sex spasming around Light, legs going weak and shaky as a band snapped in their stomach, orgasm washing over their body without warning. They knew it was wrong, but they were too caught in the moment to stop or prevent it. They wanted Light so badly for so long, the fact that he admitted to being Kira was only aiding the burning lust for him. They relaxed into his hand that was still holding his jaw, broken whimpers falling from their bruised lips.

“I knew you’d get off to the thought like a fucking slut… So do it. Moan my name as I fuck you into overstimulation, have that body aching for more. Gonna fuck you until you can’t see straight, gonna make sure you know who owns this pretty body. I’m gonna make sure you know that only I, Kira, can make you cum like that…” He whispered into their ear, his eyes still staring at them in the computer’s reflection.

Y/N’s face burned, eyes hooded as they panted. “Fuck me, Kira… Please… I’m all yours…” Y/N said, watching his lips turn into a smile and his cheeks flush red instantly, “It turns me on knowing that you’re Kira and you own my body…” They kept going, “I want you to fill me with your cum, make me remember who owns me even after you pull out. I want to feel you for days, Kira..”

Light let out a grunt, closing his eyes as he felt his orgasm approaching. It was something about Y/N calling him Kira that made his knees go weak. Hearing Kira always made Light feel some type of way, but hearing Y/N moan out the name sent shivers down Light’s spine. It was like the simple name was at the top of some made up hierarchy in his head, hearing someone call him Kira while they were bent over for his cock, begging for his cum made him feral.

He bit down on Y/N’s neck as he came, his hips stuttering, making his thrusts sloppy. He let out a string of curses, his chest heaving against Y/N’s back. “So fucking good for me..” he hiccuped, his hands still gripping Y/N’s jaw tightly. He finally let it go, looking at the pretty handprint left on their skin, the same on their hips.

Y/N couldn’t believe what they just did, but somehow it just made them want more. They turned around onto their back, gripping Light’s shirt collar. “Keep going, please..” They begged, looking up at him with glossy eyes and tear marked cheeks.

Light laughed, his hands finding their hips again as he slid back into them. “I knew you were a slut, but I didn’t think you were this slutty,” Light looked down at them, finding a rhythm in his thrusts, “Getting off to the fact that I’m a criminal, one you’ve spent so much time trying to trace… And all this time, he was right in front of you. Well, I guess right on top of you now, huh?” He chuckled, watching their face twist in pleasure.

Y/N nodded, eyes crossing as he spoke. “You’re so fucking big, Kira..”

Light moved his hands to their cheeks, roughly pressing his lips against theirs, moaning into their mouth as he slid his tongue between their lips.

He continued his hip thrusts, Y/N’s whimpers and moans spilling into his mouth.

“Gonna cum for me again?” Light asked, looking into their eyes.

They nodded, looking back at him. “I wanna cum..” they said, pulling him into another kiss.

“Cum with me then..” he said, quickening his hips. Light never felt any better, he was in pure ecstasy, knowing he was able to fuck the person he’d been fantasizing about for years, and they even get off to Light’s obvious god complex. He couldn’t ask for more.

They both came, pressing against each other as they moaned in unison.

After a little while, Light sat up and looked down at Y/N, stroking their cheek with his thumb, a smile on his lips.

“You know, baby… We should do this again sometime.”

#light yagami #light yagami x reader #reader insert #death note #death note x reader #light x reader

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your-mom-friend · 3 years

Text

I was looking for a video to explain a physics thing to me when I saw this pop up in my recommended:

How to Know if You Have ADHD

And I was like Aight, let’s check this out.

Disclaimer: This isn’t meant to diagnose anyone. There are 10 symptoms he discusses and and if you’ve shown 6 or more since childhood you should try to get a diagnosis from a professional.

That said, I’m going to go into it. I’ll be explaining the points and my experience with them.

1) Trouble starting projects. --> You have trouble doing the actual project. Not conceptualizing or planning, because that’s not usually an issue, but doing the ACTUAL project. --> Me: *stares at pile of unstarted projects that I bluffed people into thinking I did* yes

2)Poor attention to detail: --> You finally started that project! Good for you! Except you’re making a lot of mistakes. You brush over a lot of details. You ignored the instructions because you didn’t pay attention. You tend to skim read things and blaze through the project as fast as possible. --> Me: occasionally. Only when Im tired so I guess not really?

3) Easily distracted: --> You get distracted RELLY easily. You get bored super easy and distracted by literally anything in the room. You zone out of conversations and realize you haven’t heard a WORD they said and you’re pretty much just looking at their mouth moving. -->I literally started drawing in my book and missed this point entirely and got to the fifth point before realizing I wasn't listening and rewinding to this so yeah.

4) Hyperfocus: --> Basically you lose the concept of time entirely and can focus on something for hours on end, sometimes even forgetting to use the bathroom or eat or drink. --> Me: Remembers that time I accidentally spent a whole day learning baking techniques and not eating or drinking or using the bathroom because I read a single post on a baking blog

5) Bad Time Management: --> Do you have trouble keeping deadlines? Or can’t make it to things on time even when you try? Do you have trouble with time in relation to the length of a task? Like you severely underestimate the amount of time it would take to do a task? --> I allotted 4 days to a physics portion for my exam that's supposed to take 9 days. It's day after tomorrow. I am a failure.

6) Disorganized: --> You use the term “Organized Chaos” a lot. Everything in life is such a rush that it’s impossible to keep things organized. You fall behind on work because you have trouble arranging and prioritizing your work. -->LISTEN. My room is a collection of things. If I need it it HAS to be in sight range or I'll forget it exists. But it's usually clean because (a) my sisters and I share a room and the older one can't stand mess and (b) I hyper focus at 2 am and clean everything.

7) Over Emotional: --> You’re quick to anger or upset or get bored. To others it looks like you exaggerate your emotions but that’s just how you feel. You have a poor self image and have trouble letting go of negative emotions and other’s opinions of you. --> Yes. Enough said.

8) Impulsiveness: --> Do you find yourself wanting to do something immediately after you think about it? Do you find yourself frustrated when you AREN’T able to do it? You impulse buy things. As soon as a thought comes to you in the middle of a conversation you HAVE to say it regardless of what the other person is saying. -->The writing part yeah. I’m too nervous to interrupt people so I just clamp my mouth shut.

9) Forgetful: --> This is more about your short term memory than long term. You tend to forget things that were JUST said or things you just did. You forget things like names and instructions very quickly. You have trouble remembering things that would come naturally to others. --> I was clearing the table and remembered there was a glass left to take and I went back to grab it and it wasn't there and I go to the kitchen confused and I ask my mom if someone brought it and she tells me I brought it first and went back and I'm like "what" and it was in my hand the whole time.

10) Shutting off your Brain: --> Your thoughts run a through your head like a river. You have trouble winding down and sleeping because of how many thoughts are in your head. You have trouble writing Ideas down because as soon as you start, you get all these other ideas that need to ALSO be written down. -->ABSOLUTLEY. I don't talk a lot because I tend to de-rail conversations and make things weird because of it. I try to journal my thoughts but it never works for that exact reason.

#adhd #Possible ADHD #how to tell if you have adhd #signs of adhd #rem rambles

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peakatseven · 3 years

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MICHAAAA CONGRATULATIONS

🌕 broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door I got splinters in my knuckles crawling across the floor

andddd

🎸 haunted

this bitch really came for me asking for a story AND a cover of such a hard song to sing. okay thanks i guess.

nah im just kidding babe i had so much fun writing this! i feel like it’s the first time in years that i’m posting proper fanfiction? kind of? idk i was trying to find another name for the mc but i kept picturing frat boy harry so here we go:

Concentration is impossible when the silence is loud and the work is important. The worst part is when one starts thinking about the need of being concentrated, rather than the actual work that needs to be done. As a university student, Harry was no different than most: his anxiety about school and his future co-existed with the emotional backlash of relationships and the need to "experience the best years of your life". There were few people with whom he wouldn't worry about meeting some kind of expectation. But she had been silent with him for the better part of a year. Images of Caro kept coming back to him, a trauma he couldn't let go off. Granted, it was the one painful brake up he'd experienced, one that was never truly over. Even now, uncountable names in between him and her, he still couldn't get her blue eyes off of his mind. The thought of her porcelain skin over his sun-kissed body came to him every single one of his one-night-stands. And at that moment, sitting on his desk, trying to get his homework done, the memory of her laughter drowned every sentence he tried to compose. He forced everything out with a loud grunt, grabbing his head with both hands and pulling on his hair. "The results show that 73.3% of patients responded positively to the treatment." He voiced out loud, trying to silence Caro's laughter in his mind. "No, that's bullshit." After a few moments staring at the cursor beeping at the end of his last sentence, he finally shut the laptop down. On an impulse, he unlocked his phone and opened a conversation from three days prior. He should've answered it when he got the text, but he wasn't in the mood at the time. "Hey, babe, wanna go for a beer rn?" He wasn't even done changing when the phone buzzed on the table. Two happy emojis popped up, and then a "Meet you there in 10". He kept the speed up as he rode off campus, through a park and then into the city. He was glad for the chill air against his face, numbing it to the point where it was the only thing he was able to think about. Finally some peace of mind. It wasn't dark yet when he got to the bar, but the sun had already set behind the buildings. There was one single tree, barely taller than him but strong enough to hold his bike. As he secured it, a red leaf fell to his knee. It was autumn when he got to kiss Caro for the first time, and it was also autumn when he kissed her last. "Nope. Something else, think of something else." he thought to himself. Incapable of coming up with anything, he brought out a cigarette and inhaled deeply. Somewhere inside him, there was a bit of guilt about what he was trying to do. But it'd been so long since he started that it no longer bothered him. His new game was called Darren. The younger guy looked like a model, straight silver hair and pale skin that Harry couldn't wait to leave marks on. All he could think about when Darren was around was the things he wanted to do to him. It was purely sensual, and that was pretty clear from the start. Or at least that's what he told himself. That Darren was on the same page as him- no strings attached, just fun and games. But the way his phone had been buzzing ever since he got on the bike, there was clearly more interest from one side. But instead of doing the right thing, and not stringing him along, Harry was about to sleep with him again and leave with a lame excuse to not spend the night. And then it was back to emotionless texts, conversations on the verge of ghosting him just in case he'd be in the mood again. But it was okay, Darren was playing the same game. He had the same dynamic with a lot of people lately. None knew of each other. They didn't have to, and they didn't ask either. He was no monster, though. Harry would tell that to himself constantly. That because no one had explicitly asked for exclusivity, it was implied they weren't obliged to it. The only one who did, what was her name again? Odella... no, that's not right... Ornella, maybe? He laughed dryly at himself. He'd become one of those guys that didn't even remember the names of all of his

partners. But he was no dougebag, when Ornella asked to be exclusive, he straight up told her no and then never bothered her again. They weren't on the same page anymore, so no more games. He wondered if that would ever happen with Darren too. There was not much time to think about this, because he was soon greeting the guy with a half hug and a gentle kiss just beside his lips. "You smell nice." Darren said, hands in his pockets and scarf almost over his mouth. "You just like the smell of tabacco." Harry smirked and put the unfinished cigarette down. "Let's get in, you're freezing." The night went exactly how Harry planned it. All his jokes were welcomed by Darren, and he let the young boy win at pull- he was cute when he bragged about his skills. But the best feeling was whenever Harry would approach Darren. A stroke of the lower back, a smirk from the other side of the table, a kiss when no one was near... Darren accepted any and everything Harry was willing to give him. The power high that it gave him to have someone be so devoted to him was indescribable. But the night was fully set and he was growing impatient. "Let's get out of here." He whispered to Darren's ear right before his turn. Darren had already started pulling Harry's bike for him when the phone on his pocket buzzed again. Harry walked alongside his date, though his eyes were on his phone. He had a lost call that he hadn't noticed while inside. The number wasn't saved to his phone anymore, but he hadn't managed to erase it from his own memory yet. "Oh, shit." He whispered. "I... Sorry, man, I have to go. There's a- um, it's a family thing." Harry was on his bike before his date could answer. He didn't even look at Darren's eyes before leaving. There was a sting of guilt building up, and maybe he'd feel disgusted by himself if it wasn't for the sheer adrenaline running through his veins. Maybe the alcohol had a bit to do with it too. This had only happened a few times before, and the outcome was always the same. Still, Harry couldn't keep himself from falling to his knees when it came to her. As he rode his bike as fast as he could go, a cynical smile crept on his lips. How ironic. Darren was probably feeling the same way about Harry just a few hours prior. Whenever Caro was in town, she stayed at her best friend's apartment- all the way on the other side of the city. So it was past midnight already when he got to the building. There was a party on the roof, maybe they could sneak in for more drinks. She had some catching up to do, as Harry was already tipsy. Still, he didn't have to check the phone to know which floor to go to and which door to knock. Just like everything else about Caro, he had it indefinitely memorized. 409, the doorknocker was a silver seagull. A very heavy, silver seagull. At first, Harry didn't feel it when his finger got caught in between the door and the seagull, but by the third time he knocked, it started changing colour. "Hm." He said to himself as he examined the swollen-red finger. He put it in his mouth and kept on knocking to the beat of the music coming from above. Why did they have the music so loud? Harry could barely hear his own thoughts, so the neighbours had to be furious about this noise. Carolina was probably waiting for Harry, who was already late due to how far he was when she texted him. "Fuck!" He said, taking his phone out of his pocket again. He hadn't answered. Dumb ass. "im herre" He sent the text before reading the ones Caro had sent before. One was a laughing emoji and the other was a voice note. There were people laughing on the background, and someone turned the music down a bit for Caro to speak into her phone. "I'm so sorry, ignore that, it was a dare." She half said, half laughed. Harry didn't understand, so he played it again. Again. Again. And again one more time. Was she talking about the lost call? or was it about her being in town? Had he really fallen for such a stupid trap? Harry fell to the floor, phone glued to his ear as the voice note played over and over again. His chest was about to

explode, face red and throat dry. He knocked on the door again, now with his fist. The inevitable tear fell down his cheek, though it was impossible to know if it was sadness or anger that caused it. "Oh, god." Someone said behind him. But when he turned around, the stairs were empty and someone on hills was running up the stairs. He got up and ran after them, but he was too intoxicated to keep up. He fell halfway up the stairs, having to crawl for a few steps before getting up. On the rooftop, there were too many people in heels to know which one had seen him. "Great." He sight. Might as well look around. He walked around the place, inhaling the cold air of the night and trying to calm down, make sense of what had just happened. He was about to light up his last cigarette when someone took it from him. She had long purple nails and her skin glowed under the moonlight. She smirked as the cigarette reached her mouth. He lit it up for her. "I didn't think you'd actually come." She said. Her smirk turned into a sincere smile. "You told me to." "Yes, but I also said you should ignore that." "Well I didn't." He took the cigarette from her fingers and smoked himself before speaking again. "Should I go?" He wanted to seem as cool with the situation as she appeared to be, hide the fact that he had just been played like a puppet for a fucking drinking game dare. "What happened to you finger?" She shouted, stepping closer to him. "I- I don't remember." Harry lied. There was still a bit of dignity to be salvaged. And there it was, but this time it was real. Her laugh, once again, drowned every thought on his mind. There was no music and no people around them anymore, it was just him and her, together again, laughing in the middle of the night. "You know I meant to call you, right?" Caro said, a hand tenderly rubbing his arm. She knew exactly what she was doing, and he knew it too. "I'm sure you did." He said. "I did!" She pushed him a little, both cracking a knowing smile. "I promise I did, it's just that-" "Shut the fuck up." He felt more stable now that he'd taken some air and the alcohol effect had cooled down. "It's okay, Caro. Let's just have fun tonight and see what happens." "Sounds fun." She leaned in and kissed him on his cheek, the kiss lingering just a second too long. He instinctively put a hand on her hip, but she walked away swiftly after the kiss. The pain on his chest came back, and the little composure he had gained crumbled. She wasn't coming back to him. This time it was definitive, and it had been for a while now. But the worst realization that came to him that night, was how much power she had over him. How much hope, urge, love, anger and pain she could cause in just a matter of hours. She had him at her mercy, like a puppet she could toy with however she wanted. They were both the same kind of wicked, using others for validation, feasting on their adoration. But as much pain as it caused him to know he was at the other end of his own game, it also sparked joy to know he could provide that for her.

#idk how to add an audio file to an ask so the cover is posting in a bit #hope you like it!!!#asks #micha's 700 celebration!#thelasttimeyoueversawme

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hunbomb · 4 years

Text

finally | lee jeno

word count: 1.9k

genre/warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, reader is a bit younger than jeno (three years) !!! just for literary purposes!!!!!!!! also this isnt proofread rofl

authors note: wait,,, y’all hear sumn??? me posting for the first time in three years???? lmfaooo yes im back guys but probs not consistently,,,, oop. since i don’t have school for three weeks i might as well just write?? lmao idk i haven’t written in so long but anyway im still on my nct shit so why not write for my boi jeno? who is STILL the loml? also this is like fully my first non-bulleted scenario hahaha. this is HEAVILY inspired by a fic on deviantart for eren jaeger!

summary: as your 18th birthday is coming up, you realize there is no better time to confess your long-held feelings for a certain someone.

“You’re not 18 yet, it’s illegal, you know.” His expression was serious, contrasting the infamous eye smile usually seen on his perfectly sculpted face. Your lips tightened to a line in determination as you stared at him, eager to at least get some sort of response to your wild confession.

It was dumb, you realize. Going for your neighbour, who you’ve been in love with for as long as you could remember. At first, everyone (including you) just thought it was the type of crush that little girls have on like 20-year old celebrities. However, a three year age gap is really nothing compared to that, and you knew it wasn’t something small when you would see him take out the garbage for his family, or when he would play basketball on the streets with his friends. When he left for university three years ago, you heart crushed, your longtime dream seemed to be over. But he always comes back for the summer, and you realized this summer, there was a chance at anything happening between you two, so you went for it.

“We could be very careful! Plus, I’m turning eighteen this year!” You underlined with a strong gaze. You weren’t going to cry, hell no. Or, at least you weren’t planning on it, not unless you hear him say he doesn’t love you directly. And from what you remember, he hasn’t yet.

“That won’t work. Plus, all my friends know you’re younger than me we couldn’t even keep it some sort of secret, or something like that.” He shook his head, but you seemed to have perked up at what he said.

“Wait, you talk about me to your friends?” A smile was starting to find its way onto your face as you saw the boy before you get a little flustered. You’ve never met his friends, so how would they know who you are?

“Uh, no.” He seemed to have gotten a bit flustered at your statement, now unable to look you in the eyes, finding his shoes a bit more… fascinating. This indirect confirmation was enough to make you smile wider.

You laugh inwardly at his highschool-like-antics. His sudden nervousness bringing out some unknown confidence. “You know, you were the one who told me not to be scared to saying what I think.”

“I said it because I didn’t think you would confess to me.” He justified, making you take a deep breath of disappointment. Well, this was it. This was pretty much the end of everything. And as much as you’d like to never see his face again, Jeno was your neighbour, and it was the summer, so seeing him would be inevitable.

“So, is this a rejection?” Your voice came out smoothly, unlike the nerves taking over your insides. Jeno’s eyes narrowed briefly as he crossed his arms over his chest and watched your expression. He couldn’t tell you how cute you looked as you stood before him, or how your eyes sparkled and made the stars dull in comparison.

“I don’t know. Do you want it to be?” He questioned. Your eyes widened and you faced him, craning your neck upwards so fast a pop was almost heard. The disappointment you felt slowly disappearing as you looked up with bright eyes to your neighbour.

“No!”

"Then? You tell me what it is." His lips curled upwards and he would never know how much you'd wanted to kiss him back then. You took a breath, tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and stared into his eyes, forming the proper sentence.

The proper sentence. Not too bold, but not too shy. Not too like you, but not too un-like you. Not too detached, but not too clingy. The perfect proper sentence.

“When I turn eighteen, I’ll come and confess to you again.” Not the most perfect sentence, but you were running on emotions, not logic right now. Words were flying off your tongue so fast you wouldn’t even dare to stop them. You looked to the side, trying to avoid his gaze, but your eyes betrayed you and flickered back to him. His expectant yet knowing smile widened, his eyes turning into small crescents. And that was all it took before you, once again, lost control over your words. “And you’ll tell me you love me too!” You almost choked on the words as they left your mouth, making Jeno’s smile turn into a chuckle.

“That’s pretty bold.” He stated, his eye smile shining like a pile of diamonds. Then his hand went through his hair, fingers going through his soft black hair as you dreamt of yours doing so may times.

“You do promise me you’ll say it, right?” Your gaze was penetrating and your lips were pulled back in anticipation. What you were expecting was a nod, or some sort of verbal confirmation. What you got, was neither of those two things.

Jeno’s lips curled up again, his eyes disappearing. “We’ll see.”

Once again, a breath of disappointment left your lips and you sighed in defeat. If he was this adamant on not telling you his answer, he might as well have said no already, instead of continuing to string you along. God, why was this man so annoying, yet so perfect at the same time?

“Promise me!” You partially whined, because of how he seemed to be avoiding everything His hand reached out to ruffle your hair but you pushed it away and stared up at him expectantly. What you wanted was a promise, and he knew he had to give you one, because that would probably be the only thing keeping him from chickening out at your next confession.

“Fine. I promise I will give you a definite answer next time. I’m not promising what the answer will be, however.” Despite Jeno thinking his words would upset you further, they didn’t (he suspected because you already knew he liked you, considering he hasn’t formally rejected you yet).

“Then expect me to be back soon!” You joked, grinning so widely it was like he told you he loved you instead.

Jeno nodded slowly, his chest erupting into butterflies at the fact that you returned the feelings he’s had for quite some time, as he watched you leave his house.

“You can come in, you know,” Jeno says as he steps to the side, letting you enter his house. You leaned on his staircase as he did the same against his wall, and although you were confident, there was still a small part of you hesitating. You'd practiced this enough times to know you'd memorized perfectly each and every word you wanted to say, but the mirror never once gave you an answer that could identify with the one Lee Jeno would give you in just a few seconds.

“I’m eighteen now…” You started. Your voice was steady and you tried to look as confident as you could. He stepped forward, coming off the wall and making his way towards you, stopping just in front, as close as he had stood exactly three months prior during your first confession. His gaze was firm as well, but there was something along the edges of his calm features that told you this time may not go as smoothly.

“I know.” He stated casually, not addressing any sort of implication behind those two words, leaving you to dry like a fish out of water.

“So I’m not underage anymore.” You added, crossing your arms in front of your chest as you kept an eye on the male to decided to play dumb, even though he knew exactly where the conversation was going. Jeno nodded thoughtfully and his head was tilted innocently to the side, but his eyes were carefully tracing your every feature and how it reacted to his words. He wanted to test how long you'd draw this out for, but that didn't really matter since the real test here regarded his own restraint and how long it would hold.

“One of the things that comes with it, yes.” He drew out with a smile, making you take a deep breath and stare determinedly at him. And for a moment, Jeno felt like he was back in his thirteen-year-old self babysitting you and your ten-year-old self asked for a snack. This time though, you were eighteen and he was twenty-one, and the snack you wanted was him.

“So--”

“So?” He cut you off, watching your expression gradually turn more and more impatient with every minute that passes by. He was just as desperate for you to get the point as you were, and he wanted to see you reach it.

Your features contorted in mild anger before you took hold of your feelings and calmed down a bit. Only a bit. Your eyebrows were furrowed and your mouth was pouting stubbornly. God, it was so adorable he couldn't help narrowing his eyes at you softly. You looked like such a kid yet at the same time had matured considerably over the years.

“So be with me!”

It left your mouth abruptly, reminding you of how you lost control over your words during your first confession. Jeno softly smiled in response. “That’s not what I promised.”

Your flustered face, and now downcast eyes were enough to remind him not to chicken out last minute. He stepped closer to you, the space between you both getting smaller and smaller. Big, warm hands engulfed yours and you lifted your face to see his. His eyes had transformed into small crescents once again as he stared longingly into yours.

“Before you think this is going where you may think it’s going, let me speak,” he stated, “when you were younger, I never really thought of you that way. You were six, and I was nine. You definitely weren’t in my thoughts at all.”

You grimaced at that.

“But, as time passed, and we grew up, you grew on me. Soon, I started to want to hang out with you, and I would make sure to play basketball when I knew you were back from school so you could see me as you were walking home.” He smiled sheepishly.

“At first I thought it was because I just liked your presence, but when I left for university, and saw your face, I fully registered that I was in love with you. If I wasn’t I wouldn’t come back every summer. You know I only come back for you, right?”

With that, your heart leaped out of your chest, like a firework ready to explode. A smile started to make its way onto your face as you stared at the boy you have loved for so long.

He loves you back.

He continued, “you made me wait a lot you know. It was hard for me to look at you and not kiss you. Especially after your first confession. God, you have no clue what you did to me.”

You leaned up and pressed your lips to his, sighing in satisfaction as he brought his hands to your face and kissed you back. When you pulled away, he brought your face back in and kissed you again, more passionately, trying to convey what he’s been feeling into the kiss.

“I love you so much,” he said between kisses.

“I love you too.”

Finally.

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mysteryofren · 4 years

Text

Soulmates

chapter 29 of So Happy Together

28: https://mysteryofren.tumblr.com/post/619270509137412096/us-and-the-first-order

note: i felt like it was wrong to post today too, but i know you all are waiting for it, and i dont want to keep you waiting any longer. i hope you all are safe, and enjoy this chapter!

The last day of school had come, and gone. You were officially a senior. So were Matt, and Phasma. It had been the day you looked forward too, because it was a sign that the end was near. The day you met Elaine, it no longer became a day you were excited for, but one you dreaded. You being a senior meant she was done, and would be leaving you behind in a sort of way. She assured you that you both still had until graduation. Now that day is here. You had stayed up late. Both of you did. She was nervous, and so were you. She was staying in town until she had to go to NYU to start the semester, but it still would be weird knowing she would leave eventually. She left earlier than you so she could go to the rehearsal before the real ceremony.

You got ready, and headed over to your grandfather's once she left. Her family wanted to throw her a graduation party, but didn’t want all her friends to drive over 6 hours to her house. Your grandfather offered his house up for the party claiming that she is his 3rd granddaughter, and would love to host it there. You wanted to help set up for her. Silence is all you heard while driving. Your mind didn't have thoughts running through it for once, and you didn't want to disrupt that. It felt like the world had stopped. Like everything froze in place, and you were the only one moving.

Arriving to your grandfathers, you noticed another car in the driveway next to the old truck he always drives. He must have finally gotten something nicer for himself. Not that the truck wasn't nice. You loved the truck to death. It was a part of your childhood, but something like that isn't typically what a CEO of a company drives. You put your car in park, and get out. There was fog rolling in from the forest. You watched as it slowly creeps into the yard. You walk in, and hear the sound of 4 paws running down stairs.

“Hey bud. How ya doing?” Gideon walked over to you. He sat at your feet, and rolled over. It was his way of greeting you. Everytime you walked into the house he did it. You gave his stomach a few pets before heading upstairs. You creep upstairs quietly knowing your grandfather is still asleep. You get to his room, and walk in. He's asleep. His body is across the bed again taking up all the space in it. You see a clear dent where Gideon had been sitting. Next to one of his hands is a giant book. You walk over, and look at it. It was a photo album. You pick it up, and look at the page he’s on.

‘Satine, Y/N, and Elaine. Day at the lake’ was written next to the photo along with the date. You remember that day. It was memorial day. You had just met Elaine. Her parents were busy, and she didn't have anything to do so you invited her on a whim. You all had gone camping. The picture was of your grandmother helping you and Elaine start the fire. She talked you both through it the whole time. She really insisted that you guys work together, and start it on your own. It was dark, and cold when your grandfather decided to do it on his own. You guys eventually did it. It just took a few trips before you got it all down.

You flipped through the album to see what else there was. It was all you, and Elaine. You guys doing charity work. Celebrating holidays. First days of school. Last days of schools. Dances. Events. Fundraisers. Camping trips. Sleepovers. Almost your entire friendship was photographed, and put in the book. You didn't realize you were crying until you felt a hand wipe the tears away.

“I cried myself looking through it.”

“What is this pop pop?” he took the book from your hands, and closed it showing you the side. The spine had ‘Y/N and Elaine’ written on it.

“I wasn't lying when I said she was like a third granddaughter to me. Satine felt the same. We made this album for you both. Just before she left us.”

“Almost everything we’ve done together is in here.”

“Her graduating made me realize how fast you both have grown up.” he opened the book to the first page, and handed it over to you.

“I still remember this day.” the first photo in the entire album. It was a photo of you and Elaine in your room the day you moved in You looked at it, and the memory came to mind. You were 13. Your parents had finally decided to send you to the republic boarding school. They were busy during move in day so your grandparents decided to help you move in. you walked into your room, and saw that the other girl already had her stuff in place in the dorm. People were assigned a dorm when they arrived at the school, and they were never reassigned one. You figured she had been there a year prior to you.

You had been setting up your bed with your pop pop and mama when a girl walked in. She had piercing green eyes, and rich black skin, that made her eyes appear even brighter than they were. Her hair was in a protective style, and the braids she wore were wrapped into a bun that sat on top of her head. She smiled at you, and you smiled back. Something in you knew she was going to be a good friend. You didn't know it at the time, but she would turn out to be your best friend.

“Welcome to the republic!” she said to you. Your grandparents looked up at her, and they smiled before continuing to work on your bed.

“I'm Y/N. Are you sharing the room with me?” you asked.

“Yeah, Im Elaine.” she walked over, and watched you guys work on setting your area up.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Why don't you girls set the desk up, we can handle the bed.” your mama said.

You both happily obliged, and used the time to get to know each other. That was the first time you ever had a friend. At the school you were at before you stayed alone. From that day on you didn't have to be. Your grandfather closed the book, and looked at you. Tears were still streaming down your face. They made a whole album for the two of you. Something to commemorate your years of friendship. Your grandfather put the album on his nightstand and brought you close to him. You both laid back in his bed, and you curled up into his arms like you did as a child.

“Why are you crying, my dear?” he asked. He held you close and tight as you put your head on his shoulder.

“What if she forgets about me at NYU? Most friendships don't even last through the first year, and I'm still in highschool.”

He kissed your head, and rested his on the pillow behind him.

“Do you want to know what Satine said to me the day we went on the camping trip?”

“What did she say?” you asked through sniffles.

“We watched you girls on the lake. Your canoe had gotten stuck in the mud. You girls tried everything to get it into the water. You both talked, and worked together. Soon you both were paddling off in the water.”

“I remember that.” you smiled

“You both stopped in the middle of the lake. You had started serving the little sandwiches you both made, and she read outloud from a book. Satine looked at me with a look on her face that I hadn't seen since your father was born.” He stared at the ceiling. You could tell he was replaying it all in his mind.

“She said ‘Ben. I think our darling girl has found her soulmate.’ she was right. I had never seen a friendship form so fast. Your love for eachother was so strong. It's only gotten stronger. That's how I know she wont forget you.”

You smiled. It made sense. She was your soulmate. Your connection was so strong and instant. It didn't matter where you guys went. You would always be together. Then something occurred to you.

“Wait did you say Ben?”

“Yes, your grandmother called me Ben. From the moment we started dating to the last time we spoke. I was always Ben in her eyes.”

“I never knew that pop pop.”

“Who do you think your little friend was named after?”

“Really? Ben was named after you?”

“Yes. I'm very close to the Skywalkers. I grew up with them. I was very close with Anakin before. I looked up to him. Then I met Luke, and we became very close as well. “

“I didn't know that.” you wiped the tears off your face as you finally let out a little laugh.

“That's a sound I love to hear.” he said once he heard you laugh. You smiled, and snuggled up a little closer to him. You both laid that way. It had been forever since you had been like this with him. It made you feel small again. Like all your problems didnt exist as long as you were in your pop pops arms. Like nothing could hurt you.

You took in the moment. Knowing this was probably the last time you would be like this with him. After what felt like hours he got up. looking at the clock on his wall you realized it had only been a few minutes.

“I want to give you something.” he walked out.

You followed behind him, as he led you to his study. It was a room you hadn’t been in often. As a kid you were told it had a lot of important things, so you couldn't go in. He walked over to the book shelf, and pulled one out. As he flipped through it you looked at everything that was on the shelves. It was all photo albums all of them having different names on the spines. Your mothers. Your aunts. Yours. You noticed one. It wasn't as worn as the others. It was new. The spine didn't have anything written on it yet. You slid it out of its spot, and opened it. On the side that held no photos you saw your grandfather's hand writing. It said ‘the first order.’ in a dark red ink. The first photo on the page was the one Phasma had taken at the Skating rink. He also had the ones you guys had taken at Elaine's soccer game. Pictures of all of you hanging out in the backyard. Pictures from your day at the lake to celebrates Phamsa’s summer program. Even prom. He had made an album for your friends. You felt like crying all over looking through the pictures. He had so many from different hangouts. You assumed he asked Phasma, or Elaine for them.

You slid the album back in its rightful place, and turned to him. You watched as he slid a picture out of one of the sleeves. He closed the album, and turned to face you. He held a small polaroid in his hand, and he handed it over to you. It was the photo he had taken from his first date with your grandmother. You remembered the story they always told about it. How he had taken her to the city to walk around. How he had shown her things she never saw because of where she lived. And how at the end of the date he asked some stranger to take a picture of them. Her dress had been a dark purple. Her blonde hair was curled, and made to look short. Your grandfather's hair was long, and he had a beard to go with it. You don’t usually see photos of him looking so laid back. in his photos he hung around the house he was already older, and kept a very clean and professional style.

“I dont think I can take this.”

“You can, and you will. Your grandmother would want you to have it. She would want you to have a piece of us.” you held it close to you. A piece of her. A piece of him.

“Come now, we have to get the house ready for tonight.” you walked out while he stayed behind to put the album back. You ran downstairs, and got all the decorations out. Gideon walked around with you as you set banners up. Soon your grandfather came down. He grabbed a few table decorations, and put them out. You both worked together for about an hour to make sure it was all perfect for her party. The food that her parents ordered had arrived, and you both worked on storing it away. Your grandfather had gone all out for her. He made sure the house looked more festive than it had in years. Once he was satisfied with how everything looked, you went to your car to get your gift for her.

You looked at the gift in your hands. Somehow it didn't seem like a good gift, but in your heart you knew it was. It was a small plant. She always wanted one for the dorm, but your room didn't get good enough sunlight to have one. It wasn't a fancy or rare plant. Just a little one. One that could fit in a small space like a college dorm. You walked it to the backyard, and placed it on the table outside. You figured it would be good for it to get some sunlight before you gave it to her.

You moved slow hoping time would move slow with you. Sadly it didn't, and with that it was finally time to leave. You had gotten ready at the dorm, now you were waiting on your grandfather. You sat in the living room, and let your mind go blank. Gideon placed his head in your lap, and you absentmindedly pet him. You didn’t want to feel anything. Not today. You just wanted to feel numb. It wasn’t even like she was leaving right away. She was leaving for the fall semester in august. It just felt weird.

“Are you ready?” you heard your grandfather say. You looked at the stairs where he was standing.

“No.”

tags: @wumboho @pylopenpolo @duty-isnt-always-honour @wondering-wishing-well

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lunalovefics · 5 years

Text

hazy shade of winter PART 1

pairing - felix rosier x mc

requested ? yep ! unfortunately i didn't get a username so i couldn’t tag them, but if this was yours please leave a comment because I loved writing this !

summary : you stay behind at hogwarts over christmas holiday and become much closer with a certain prefect while all of your friends are away...

warnings : slow burn ?

(also i haven't written anything in a hot minute so if this sucks i apologize and very much appreciate any constructive criticism as im trying to improve my writing. but im very excited this is the first fic im posting to my new account!)

It was a another freezing winter morning as I woke up unusually early, bringing the covers up over my head tossing and turning trying to fall back asleep to escape the cold for just a few more hours. I groaned throwing the heavy blanket away from my face taking in a deep breath, brushing the stray pieces of (h/c) hair from my eyes. It was no use. I was completely and fully awake, totally aware of how quite the room was without all my friends going about their usual morning routine. The only sound keeping me company today was the wind rustling harshly against my window as I stare at the ceiling now desperately wishing I had taken Rowan or even Bill’s invitation to spend the break with them. It was only the first day of holiday and I already missed them. ‘‘ it’s only two weeks.” I tried to reassure myself.

I look over to the window the sun still not even up, “if the sun gets to sleep in i should be able to.” I frown to myself as I realize i’m going to have to get up at some point. I bite the bullet and decide to try and make to most of the day, that thought lasted all of five minutes as after I brushed my hair and teeth I couldn't be bothered to exert any more energy. Assuming I’m either the only one in slytherin who stayed behind on holiday or at the very least the only one awake at this hour I decided there would be no better way to spend these next few hours then curled up in the common room next to the fireplace getting ahead of my studies. I quickly pulled on an over sized (f/c) sweater not even bothering to change out of my pajama pants and grabbed a few textbooks as I made my way down to the common room to find it actually decorated quite nicely, a christmas tree dawned our house colors, stockings over the fireplace, and a few other decorations here and there. I smiled taking in the scene as I sat back into the couch getting as comfortable as possible before opening my potions book.

I’d say I got in a good forty-five minutes of studying before I ultimately fell asleep. Potions always seemed to do that to me, hence why Penny had to tutor me so often. I was sure I had been out for a at least an hour or two as I finally woke up yawning as a rubbed my surprisingly still tired eyes. Looking down I noticed my book set neatly on the table in front of me and a blanket covering my now very warm body. It was only then that I looked over and noticed that I was in fact not alone here. Not even two feet away from me sat a familiar form.

“I see you are finally awake.” he didn’t sound as cold as he normally did, in fact he almost sounded pleased?

“Felix? What time is it?” was the only thing that managed to escape my lips as I was a bit shocked to see him.

“A bit after eight I suppose.” he replied marking a place in his book before sitting it on the table, turning to give me his full attention. “You know I don’t consider it wise to spend the night in the common room, I imagine it’s not very comfortable and it can get quite cold.” he added glancing down for only a moment.

That’s when I realized what exactly he was looking at. I was now all to aware of the fact that he was the one who had covered me with this blanket and neatly arranged my books. But why would he do that? Was he sitting there waiting for my to wake up? Was I overthinking this situation? Probably. I mean he was just looking out for his housemate, that’s what a prefect does after all. I tried not to make the situation any more than it was but I was unable to suppress the blush creeping up my cheeks. I sat up, now sitting criss cross only a few inches separating us.

“I wasn't down here all night.” I corrected him. “I woke up pretty early and couldn't go back to sleep so I thought it would be a good idea to come down here and try and get ahead of my lessons, but you can see how well that worked out.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised considering how many house points you've lost us by falling asleep in Snapes class.” shockingly he didn't sound as if he were scolding me like he normally did when it came to house points.

“It’s not my fault his voice is so unbearably boring that I have no other choice than to go to sleep.” I joked trying to lighten the mood. I swore I could see the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. “What are you doing here anyway? Wouldn’t you rather spend the holidays at home instead of being cooped up here?”

“You know I could ask you the same question (l/n).” he replied raising a brow. I suppose he was right. Who am I kidding, he was always right.

l smiled at his response just sitting there for a moment taking in his features. It was nice seeing him outside of his house robes and uniform. He was wearing a simple grey turtle neck, black pants, and his normal black dress shoes. Good to know he still remained quite formal even when no one was a round to see. His hair was still slicked back and his cheek bones were just as sharp but something seemed different. His expression seemed less tired, almost relaxed. But I suppose that made since, even though we were stuck at Hogwarts we were still on holiday.

He cleared his throat, though our eyes never broke apart. Oh Merlin. I thought to myself, just how long have I been just staring at him. I averted my eyes as fast as humanly possible, practically jumping out of my seat. Smooth (y/n) smooth.

“Want to go to the Great Hall? I could really use some coffee.” I smiled mentally face palming myself as hard as possible.

He shrugged getting up from his seat, “Sure.”

And just like that the two of us started to make our way to the Great Hall.

(Felix’s pov)

It was only six am when I awoke to the cold nipping at me from under the covers, I looked around to my empty room and sighed as I would be spending yet another Christmas alone at Hogwarts.

“at least i can get some peace and quite.”

I soon got up to get dressed and made my way to the common room ready to get started with the day. Of course I didn't expect to see anyone else here at all let alone at this time, you could definitely say I was more than taken aback to find someone asleep on the couch. I felt my heart rate speed up even more when I realized that it was you. Questions immediately began to pop into my mind. Why hadn't you gone home on break? Why were you asleep in the common room? Had you been there all night? What were you dreaming about? I had caught myself off guard with that last one.

I looked around the common room at all the decorations I managed to get up that night before making my was over to you. Gently brushing a piece of hair away from your face tucking it behind your ear I smiled at how serene you looked. As I pulled the book you were reading from your hand my fingers grazed yours, you were freezing. After placing the book neatly on the table I went to my room to get you a blanket.

If you were going to sleep in the common room you should have at least brought a blanket with you. It’ll be a wonder if you manage to not get sick. I mean really you need to start being more responsible.

As I walked back in I couldn't help but just stare at you for a moment as I covered you up, I had never been more glad you were asleep as I was sure that you would have been able to hear every beat of my heart. I debated on whether or not I should sit in a different seat worried you would find my decision to sit next to you odd at the very least but I couldn’t resist. I sat down as slowly and as quietly as possible doing my best not to wake you, managing to sit back and start my book without causing so much as a stir.

I tried to read my book and ignore the fact that you were asleep next to me but it was almost as if the more I tried to concentrate the harder it became. I read the same sentence over at least ten time before finally giving in to watch over you as you slept, my eyes shifting back and forth from you, to the fire burning, and finally back to the book as I realized what a creep I was probably being and decided to try and give reading another attempt. But I still couldn't help but smile at every little snore. (if you don’t snore, well you do now uwu)

This went on for just a little over an hour before I felt you moving around, looking over as you woke up. When your tried gaze met mine I could feel my face soften, there really was no one like you.

(y/n)’s pov

It didn't take long to make it to the Great Hall as we walked there in almost total silence, not that I minded it was honestly nice just to have the company. Truth was I was grateful not only was I going to have someone to spend the holiday with but I was going to be able to spend it with Felix. I know we weren't close or anything, and given all the times I lost our house points he probably didn't like me very much but i’d be lying to say I didn't enjoy every moment I could steal from him.

As we walked through the doors I looked around taking in the sight of all the decorations, even with how empty it was the room felt so full of joy. Felix of course kept the same stoic expression as he always did but I like to think he enjoyed the scenery as well.

We took our seats at the end of the table sitting across from each other as we had our breakfast.

“So (y/n) what are you doing here on holiday if you don’t mind me asking?” he questioned finally breaking the silence.

“And what if I do?” I replied teasing him a bit.

He raised a bored brow, but I could tell he was a bit taken back by my response.

“You’re not here to cause trouble I hope.” He was already on to me, I had to think quick.

“Who? Me?” I asked looking around. “Felix please I am the back bone of this house, I would never.” I smirked even though it was a very obvious lie. He rolled his eyes at the “back bone of slytherin” however he was amused to say the least.

“Well that certainly is a shame.” he started before taking a sip of his tea. “Because if your offer still stands, I say we make this break interesting for once.”

I didn't know what to say, was this all a trap to get me to reveal my plans? He was prefect after all, was he really willing to get in trouble? But all my mind could really focus on was the fact he even remembered my offer.

“Well (y/n), what will it be?”

What came over me I don’t know, maybe it was the look in his eyes. A mischievous glint I had never seen in him before, maybe my curiosity got the better of me. Or maybe it was that skip of my heart that made the decision for me.

“Alright Rosier, let’s do it.” I grinned going against all better judgement I agreed extending my hand to seal the deal.

As he grabbed my hand he pulled me closer to him, leaning across the table, “I must warn you if we’re going to do something this reckless we do it my way. I won’t have us getting caught.” I could only nodded in agreement as words were not even an option in this moment, he finally realized the position we were in and let me go. Though a small part of my wished he hadn’t.

He went back to his tea focusing rather hard on it trying to hide the ever so slight blush forming. I couldn't quite wrap my head around what had just happened but I had a feeling I wasn't going to be able to stop thinking about it any time soon.

It wasn't long before we were both finished and ready to head out deciding to head to the library to read up on some information that could help us in our adventure. As we were walking I forced him to take a slight detour stopping by the courtyard to look out at the frosty morning. I let out a happy sigh watching as my breath came out in a cloud. The air was bitter and I definitely wasn't dressed for such cold weather but I had never been so happy to shiver. Seeing the ground covered in a beautiful sheet of white as even more spilled from the sky almost made me forget about everything else going on around me. I walked out looking up at sky trying to catch a snow flake on my tongue.

“(y/n) get back here ! It’s freezing, you're going to get sick !” I heard Felix call after me but it was like it really just went in one ear and out the other. Little did I know how intently he was watching me, I didn't even think of how silly I probably looked but in that moment I couldn't care less. Twirling around in the snow I become almost lost in my own little world and didn't even notice when Felix had come up behind me.

I jumped as I was snapped back to reality feeling something rather warm wrap around me. Looking down I saw a scarf now resting on my shoulders. I quickly turned around staring up at Felix who was now standing right in front of me, snow now starting to cover us both. My (e/c) eyes met his brown ones and the heat immediately began to rise to my already rosy cheeks. I tried taking the scarf off but he placed his hands on mine to stop me, re wrapping it before his hand moved to my cheek. His hands felt so warm even out in the freezing cold.

“You’ll get cold.” I said averting my gaze trying to protest.

“I’m not the one shivering.” he smiled as I felt his hand move from my cheek to brush a fallen strand of (h/c) hair behind my ear. Little did I know this wasn't the first time he had done this.

I had no idea how to respond, it seemed like he never failed to make me speechless, but this? This was a side of him that I didn't even know existed. How did the point obsessed prefect become so.....sweet? As I looked up at him I smiled gently cupping his hands in mine, raising them to my lips blowing out a bit of warm air.

“I will shiver in this cold happily if it means I get to stand here next to you.” staring up at him I was glad to know I was no longer the only one blushing.

“Lets head inside before we catch our death out here.” he said before placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, I could feel a smile form onto his lips as I intertwined his hand with mine.

These were going to be an interesting two weeks.

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zontiky · 4 years

Note

The Five's Store au we were talking about?

yesssss the good kush. gonna do this in bullets because i feel like it might get long. jsyk i didn’t read through literally any of this so for whatever typos i made sorry lmao

five wakes up one day (post apocalypse) and thinks hey, you know what would be a completely rational and not at all impulsive idea to follow through with.

that’s right folks.

he’s gonna start a store.

the thing here is, five has absolutely no idea how business functions. sure he’s been part of a massive organization for years, but actually doing like,, store things? lol what

but that doesn’t matter because he’s gonna have a store and he can learn as he goes, no big deal

it’s a very big deal. five does not know how to manage a store.

it’s literally just called “five’s store.” how did he fund it? when did they build it? nobody knows. it’s like those fast-food restaurants that just pop up one night and you have no clue how they got there.

so. five’s got his store. this is nice. he didn’t actually know what he wanted to sell, but because his siblings couldn’t talk him out of this (read: they didn’t know it was happening until it was too late) they suggest things

baked goods! bicycles! books! postcards! writing materials! furniture! shut up klaus nobody is selling what you’re about to suggest shUT UP-

so five decides, fuck it, and just. shoves everything into this store. how? i don’t know. nobody does.

i literally have no ideas how stores work so im playing all of this by ear (vanya if you’re out there) but five also doesn’t know how stores work so it’s all good. gucci, if you will. five has probably stolen gucci before, for a mission or something idk just a thought

so five has his store but he’s so bad at managing it. first off, hiring employees didn’t occur to him. it’s just five in a building

customer: *walks in* hello can i have a cake pleasefive: sure :) five: *gives them a pie*customer: little boy, who do you think you are? i said a cakefive: cake? oh shit you’re right, sorry.five: *gives them a breadroll* :)customer: what a rude little boy! let me speak to your manager. is it even legal for a teen to be employed?(he passes as 15 ok props to aidan for being older than his character’s physical age lmao)five: ok *walks out into the back room* *walks back in* hi what can i help you with

the kids love him though. it’s always “mommy when can we shop at five’s again?” etc etc and five is like. shitposting irl. without realizing. he genuinely doesn’t know the difference between types of cheeses. he can’t tell you how an LED is different from a fluorescent bulb. he actually, literally, doesn’t know this shit.

why is he in charge of a store? fuck if i know, but im having fun with this

the siblings try to help out, but it ends with five kicking them out because they were “arranging the cacti wrong” or “messing with the bathroom toilet covers too much”

what are bathroom toilet covers? idk but we have them in my house and we only use them for christmas theyre the worst. imagine a fucking snowman staring at you everytime you want to take a shit. goodluck

five loves his store dearly tho

from offbrand cream cheese to onbrand sweatervests.

hm luther probably tries to help with the gardening section once in a while. he comes in and immediately has to hold back tears because “five when was the last time you watered these begonias.”

‘oh last week probably i dont know’

“five you have to water them at least once a day”

‘how was i supposed to know that’

“five you OWN a STORE-”

so yeah luther just. silently looms in the corner. watering plants. he scares asshole customers away even though he never says anything he just stands there. and waters the plants. some nice ladies initiate conversation and he just goes off about plant things which is so valid i love him

he’s like hargid but less rough around the edges. friendly giant. bfg but with plants. five never comments on how he takes a plant home occasionally.

diego sticks around the cutlery for reasons well known. he always tries to take knives home, to sharpen them, he claims, but five draws the fucking line there.

im making it sound like five owns some massive corporate building. no. his store is like a very compact IKEA. it has everything an ikea would, but it’s barely the size of a target. actually targets are pretty big. walmart maybe? dollar store? bigger than a dollar store though. hmmm just an average department store

lowes. that’s it. it’s like an ikea but the size of a lowes. five owns a lowes called Five’s Store.

okay so allison’s sole purpose is to stand outside and offer free autographs. she basically bribes people into going in. it’s like walmart. as soon as you go in you physically can’t go out without buying something.

jk she also helps five with his customer service because what the fuck it’s terrible. also funding. she’s a rich actress. all of them have an inheritance probably though, but five didn’t want to use reggies money because this is all a really huge “fuck you” to dad. cheers to him.

OH MY GOD ALLISON PROBABLY SHOOTS ADS FOR FIVE’S STORE (in future mentions will be abbreviated to FS for my convenience) AND THAT’S HOW THEY GET TRACTION YES

klaus and ben kinda uhhhh hang around. klaus is kicked out by five a lot because “don’t touch that” “get your hands off” “where did you get a chainsaw? put that down, klaus stop-” and all that usual average stuff, but when they need it klaus is willing to be a cashier for a little bit

ben is the only one with like. actually useful tips.

ben voice: no that’s not how you purchase items to sellfive: ???ben: here okay just go do something else and let the adults handle the money okay?

five can’t punch ben because he’s dead so HA. klaus probably makes ben corporeal though rip

ooo ben can also shelve things with his interdimensional wiggly worms! he can reach those high high shelves that have packaged stuff on them.

…costco? no i dont think FS is as massive as costco moving on

ben shelves stuff. we are eternally grateful for that. bless

vanya is the only actual competent adult you guys know this right. like sure the rest of them come CLOSE (mainly ben and allison, but ben doesn’t really count because he’s dead) but vanya is the only actual competent adult in this family (pogo dni)

so vanya does the taxes. rip to her. nobody likes taxes, but she’s taking one for the team

diego helps sometimes. tries to help sometimes. he brings her coffee does that count

kidding, diego knows how to taxes a little bit. emphasis on the “little” and “bit” and the silent “barely”

so yeah they all help out and i know i said five kicks them all out but i lied that never really happens. the store is like their side job but they’re not paid and it’s more of a hobby that got out of control

honestly five probably brings grace in and she bakes away because it makes her so happy that her cookies can make so many people happy. let her bake please.

claire probably owns an easy bake oven. just saying

yeah five has a store and it’s the literal best thing. it’s midnight so im gonna cut myself off but skjfsk this au is amazing thank you spencer for this golden concept

im gonna be honest all of this really reminds me of my mcdonalds five au which i might ramble about if requested lol

#five hargreeves #tua #hcs #asks #spencer #ftag #aus #five's store au #team zero #rambles

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missmentelle · 5 years

Note

This might sound very silly but I just don't know how to be more proactive. I've been very passive all this years until this point where I feel like I can't anymore. I wish I could be more hardworking for the things I want but I get all overwhelmed and don't even know how other people have the energy or the motivation. People think Im just lazy. I don't have almost any skills let alone any that I can monetize, I feel like Im going to be a looser forever.

I think this is a problem that a lot of people - especially younger people - are struggling with right now. We want to achieve great things, and we feel like we should be achieving great things, but many of us are so paralyzed by doubt/anxiety/apathy/uncertainty that we have a hard time mustering up the motivation to run basic errands, let alone chase our dreams. I’ve certainly spent more than my fair share of time beating myself up for the countless days that I’ve fucked around on Reddit all day instead of actually achieving anything, even when I was fully aware that I was sabotaging my own dreams and goals by doing so. I just couldn’t always muster up the ability to care about the things I needed to be doing, even if there were dire consequences for not doing them. The good news is, there are definitely ways to overcome this issue, and reach a point where you are happier with your progress and your life. To get started, I recommend:

Decide what it is you actually want. Telling yourself to “be more proactive”, “work harder” or “have a better life” is not helpful if you don’t actually have specific goals that you’re working towards. It is very, very easy to find ways to be “busy” for 8 hours per day - but being busy doesn’t necessarily mean progress. Take some time, and think about some rough goals that you’d like to actually work towards. Don’t worry about how much work or effort it would be to achieve those goals, just start thinking about what you want in life, and what’s the most important to you. Think about the kind of life that you would like to have someday, and start figuring out the steps you need to take in order to get yourself from your current life to the life that you envision. It’s okay if those things are very far apart - the point is not for you to get overwhelmed, but for you to have something to be proactive about.

Start slowly. You cannot go from “spending 8 hours per day mindlessly browsing the internet amidst a pile of old take-out containers” to “running 5 miles every morning before making art for 8 hours in a spotless apartment with a fridge full of vegetables” overnight. Trying to change your routine too drastically and too quickly will lead to you burning out in a couple of days and going right back to your old ways, with an added dose of self-hatred because you tried and failed. Trying to be more productive and more functional is a process, and a long one at that. It’s not at all unusual or abnormal to take several years of work before you get your life to where you want it to be. Start slow. Start with incredibly tiny changes, and slowly build up those changes over time. If you currently live on a diet of fast food and candy, and you want to be a shredded, clean-eating fitness guru, you can’t rush into that all at once. Start by swapping out full-sugar pop for diet pop for the first month, and trying to drink more water. That’s it. Don’t make any other changes. Then the second month, switch out diet pop for flavored water. And so on. Change only sticks when it’s gradual.

Focus on one thing at a time. Again, trying to do too much, too soon is a recipe for fast burnout and self-hatred. Start by trying to change one area of your life, and one area of your life alone. Once you feel like you have a pretty solid handle on that part of your life and you have established some new habits, then you can add on a second area of focus. Spend some time, and really think about which area of your life is the most important for you to change, and which area of focus will improve your life the most. If it helps, envision your problems as rocks that you are carrying around in a backpack with you at all times. What’s the heaviest rock in your backpack? If you are overweight, unhappily single, making no progress building your YouTube channel and failing out of college, then your college grades are probably the thing causing you the most stress in your life, and they’re your most urgent concern - focus on that, and give yourself permission to let the rest of it sit on the back burner until you have boosted your GPA. Only then will you be ready to start changing something else.

Go easy on yourself. I think one of the pitfalls that many young people face these days is that they absolutely crush themselves with unrealistic expectations of what they “should” be doing with their lives; it’s hard to get up the motivation to do anything when you’ve convinced yourself that the bare minimum for success is an impossible ideal. I have friends with master’s degrees who still consider themselves failures that haven’t done anything in life. Remember that you are not a machine. Even at your most successful and high-functional, you will not be perfect and productive 100% of the time. You will still have lazy days where you don’t get much done. You will still occasionally order takeout instead of making a home-cooked meal. You will still occasionally procrastinate. Don’t set yourself up for failure by comparing yourself to an unattainable ideal - just aim to be a slightly better version of what you are right now.

Get used to tracking, even without making changes. It’s hard to set goals for improvement if you don’t have a solid idea of what you’re actually doing right now. Telling yourself things like “stop being so lazy and do more things” is setting yourself up for a spiral of self-loathing if you don’t actually track what you’re doing, because you won’t be able to see the small, gradual progress that you’re making. Being able to actually see yourself taking baby steps toward your goal is important for keeping you motivated, and keeping you from beating yourself up. Don’t track absolutely everything in your life - that becomes obsessive after a while - but keep an eye on some of the major things that you might want to change in the future. Install apps on your phone and laptop that track how much time you spend doing what. Set up the step tracker on your phone. If you want to eat better in the future, start tracking roughly what you eat now. I’m a pretty avid bullet journaler, I track a lot of my daily habits. Keeping track of the things you do, even if you’re not proud of them, and even before you start to work on them, gives you a baseline to work with, so you can establish how bad the problem is and see when you’re heading in the right direction.

Forget the obsession with monetizing. A lot of us have gotten this idea in our heads that we need to find ways to monetize everything that we’re even remotely good at, or doing that thing is somehow a waste of our time. I don’t want to generalize about millennials and gen z too much, but I do feel like our generation was raised on the belief that “doing what you love” is the most important thing in life; I personally have many friends that are obsessed with monetizing, to the point that they no longer do anything unless they can find some way to funnel it into advancing their blogger/influencer/creator career. I think this is a mistake. When you monetize something that you love doing, you turn it from a hobby into a job, with all the stress that comes with that, and I think it’s important for everyone to have at least one thing in their life that they do just for the joy of it. It’s okay to let work be work, and play just be play. And I say this as a person who has monetized one of my hobbies; I love true crime and forensic psychology, and I co-host a true crime podcast that has recently had a huge surge of popularity and is on the cusp of being monetized. I could write an entire post about the mental health side of being a creator with a public online presence, but in a nutshell, turning my podcast from a hobby into a business has required me to take it a lot more seriously, and it now falls more into the category of “work” than it does “fun”. My enjoyment of life requires that some of my other hobbies - like playing music - just stay un-monetized hobbies. Let yourself create and do things that don’t have economic value.

Don’t compare yourself to what you see on social media. I have had both personal friends and followers on this blog tell me that they feel bad about themselves because their life doesn’t measure up to what they see on Instagram, or because they feel that their own lives would not be worthy of posting online. This is a toxic mindset to get into. The things you see on social media are not reality, no matter how much they appear to be - people put incredible amounts of effort into carefully cultivating an online persona that makes them look more productive and accomplished than they actually are. I have a brother who who is a somewhat successful Instagram “influencer”, alongside his more successful girlfriend, and I could write an entire post about the lengths they go to to fake having perfect lives on Instagram, and the toll that their Insta careers are having on their mental health. If you are looking to be a more productive version of yourself, it’s best to steer clear of “motivation” from people who are paid to pretend to be successful online.

Set measurable, achievable goals. Goals like “be healthier” and “do more stuff” won’t get you anywhere - they are so vague that it’s not possible to tell when you’ve actually achieved them, or how much progress you’ve made. If you want to be more productive and feel like you’re getting more done, you need to set goals that can actually be worked towards and checked off when they are done. Instead of “go to the gym more”, aim for “go to the gym 5 days per week” as your end goal, and start with a solid couple of months with “go to the gym at least once per week”, and slowly increase from there. If you’re aiming for something big like “have an awesome job”, break that down into medium-sized goals like “finish an undergrad degree”, and then break that goal down even further into “hand in all my assignments on time this semester”, and break that down further into “write the first 10 pages of my paper by the end of the week”. Set tiny goals for yourself that you can easily achieve, and that will gradually accumulate into big accomplishments.

Remember that slow progress is better than no progress. If you write one sentence per day, it is going to take you a really long time to write a novel. It will take you a whole lot less time, however, than if you get overwhelmed at the thought of writing a novel and never write at all. Sometimes you need to break goals down into steps so small that they also seem not worth doing. It can feel a little silly to congratulate yourself for things like “brushed my teeth today” and “texted someone back today”, but those are little habits that add up into bigger things, and giving yourself that positive reinforcement is important. “Greatness” and “success” are not things you achieve all at once, they are made up of tiny habits that you’ve been working on for months or years at a time.

Take care of your mental health. Not feeling the motivation to do anything, even things that you enjoy, can be a symptom of depression. Everyone beats themselves up from time to time for not being more productive, but if your brain is constantly on a feedback loop of “I’m human garbage and I’m wasting my life”, that’s a pretty serious problem, and a solid sign that it’s time to seek out some professional help. Trying to make major life improvements without addressing underlying mental health concerns is kind of like trying to drive a car without wheels - you’re just not going to get anywhere until you’ve dealt with the obvious problem.

Remember that setbacks are okay. Even the most highly proactive and high-functioning people have days where they say “fuck it” and order takeout to eat in front of the TV. Everyone occasionally misses deadlines or leaves things to the last minute when they shouldn’t. Everyone shows up late occasionally. These things happen - we are humans, and none of us are perfect. The key to long-term proactivity and productivity, though, is not to let those small setbacks define you, and not to throw away all the progress you’ve made over a bad day or a bad week. Eating healthy six days per week will put you in a much better position than deciding “fuck it, I blew it” after one bad meal and returning to eating unhealthy meals 7 days per week. As the saying goes, don’t let perfect be the enemy of good - in other words, perfection is not attainable, and getting hung up on being perfect will prevent you from achieving many things that are good. The idea is not to be perfect; it’s just to keep striving to be a slightly better version of yourself.

Best of luck to you!

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sweet-sixteen-kraang-birthday · 4 years

Note

2, 4, 10, 20 and 25?

Thank you so much for sending this in! ♥️♥️

You send the ones that I secretly wanting to answer, lol.

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I’m looking to writing a lot of things but—one thing that I’m really really looking forward to is writing that Time Travel fic.

I freaking love that trope so much. It’s my first thing that I think about in EVERY fandom I enter.

I’m actually writing one for TO!!! TWO. Vibaranting with excitement for it. It’s in the....works. I just want so badly to get the good parts and put it down but I’m so exited that I can’t seem to get the words down.

So far, one of them is going along VERY nicely. I’m so proud of it. The other one—I’m not sure the direction I’m heading in. There’s a lot of ways it could go down and I want all of them.

There’s also ANOTHER time travel fic I want to desperately write, but eh. It’s on TVD and I’m not so familiar with the characters and the plot so this one is at the back of my mind, constantly thinking of how it could go down...

I have this Scene in mind that I want to write so badly. Thinking about it just is making me WANT TO SCREAM

okay so I realised I have been rambling and didn’t even mention what the fics are on

First one: Hope going back in time, post season 5 to get glimpse of her parents. Act like she’s someone else to meet her parents but ehh the magic goes wrong and she’s stuck there. Or something. I haven’t quite worked it out.

Second one: Hope and Hayley in s4 going back in time to season 2 to find the last wolf for the spell. This is the one I’m proud of and liking the way it’s going so far. It’s a surprise at how easy it’s flowing. It was actually inspired after I read your Hayley&Cami s4 fic. Kind of. After I read it I got a sentence in my head and put it down... the rest just came afterwards. I was never expecting to write a time travel fix but I LOVE THE DIRECTION ITS HEADING.

third one: Hope going back in time for reasons and going to the school. It’s an outside POVs. one that I have in mind and I’m so excited for that because I freaking loooveee outside POVs.

There’s also other time travel fics that I have in mind. Another one that I am writing as well but ahhh I don’t want to spill any details.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

ehhhhh ANOTHER HARD ONE

okay, so. This is my first time writing Klaus’ POV. I never could get his voice. And this came to as a surprise?? I don’t even know how it happened, but it did.

It’s the moment in s2 where Klaus meets Kol. AND THAT MOMENT WHEN HE REALISES THAT CAMI IS TAKEN AWAY.

“Cami!” Klaus calls out, not breaking eye contact with his brother.”I changed my mind, I’m going to kill him after all.”

There’s a moment of silence, no reply. Worry and panic starts to rise and Klaus turns, says her name. And again, no response.

Mikael, he’s thinking as he [WORDS HERE]

---blood. Cami’s blood. It takes effort to not let panic get the better of him and he walks around the car and sees the trunk empty.

Father. Father has Cami.

Before this part, It was all fun and banter between Kol and Klaus and then THIS PART. Oh i loove how i did the tension here. I found it interesting that Klaus walks and doesn’t run or use his vamp speed. I was going to make him run but when watching the scene again... I realised he didn’t so while i was trying I was trying to get into his mindset.

It was really fun to write. It’s reason why I started writing this part. Wanted to capture the HORROR that klaus must’ve felt. The guilt the panic the anger.

And oh how Klaus switches between “Father” and “Mikael” it wasn’t a concious choice but I love it.

that bracket part is because I haven’t of how to get that transisation yet... I do have some ideas but anyways I really love how i got this part down.

Also from the same WIP:

He was joking anyways. Partly. He’s not going to kill him, of course. Despite his behaviour, Kol is his brother. His blood.

Punishment, however, is entirely another thing.

IT’S SUCH A KLAUS THOUGHT. And im so proud because I think I got his voice down here really well. And because it was so fun to write. Gosh, I love him.

The first part is a throwback to the scene where he shouts to kol “Im not going to kill you, you idiot” I love that moment so much.

AND THAT LAST PART WHERE ITS LIKE “ Punishment, however, is entirely another thing.” i was crackling as i read it.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Oh! This is an interesting one. Erm. So I have a thought or scene in mind and it’s will be CONSTANTLY chewing up inside my head and I’ll end it up eventually writing it down. Or sometimes it’s more like. A sentence randomly pops up?

And then I start writing and let the words flow. It’s all over the place, the scenes and stuff. Not chronological. I gave up on that long ago. And is a PAIN to edit. The Worst.

At most I can write up to 300 to 400 words before I stop. It’s not that I can’t continue anyways I CAN just. My brain is working to fast for me to continue and I need to just daydream about the scenes. Sometimes I get more words down which is a surprise for me, but it happens.

I write first, get the words down. Anything, even if I don’t like it. Like for today, I wanted to write something on Gia but had NO CLUE where to start. So I just anything down and...

Apparently now, I am writing a fic where Gia and Kaleb meet??? Before she gets swept off to Marcel and his speech and him to Kol.

Idk. I don’t make the rules.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Ehhh, WHERE TO START. There’s so much!!

I’ll go with despite the gentle hands that keep your head underwater

this line:

Jack denied it, kept whispering no no no no no and they wouldn’t, they wouldn’t but knew, dread and horror curling cold—just like Mary—against his bones as the Devil laughed, laughed and laughed and said, Son—

—Jack takes a sharp, deep breath, grips the sink tighter, hands ghost white, refusing to fall—

Sam and Dean never met to get him out, were never going to try and save him, but—Jack did, Jack got himself out of that box and darkness—

and will save himself

—“that’s right, son,” the Devil whispers in his ear—

even if Sam and Dean think he doesn’t deserve to be.

I REALLY love the choices i made here. 14.19 was the most painful arc for Jack. And i hate and love it??

Jack’s slow realisation to Sam and Dean’s betrayal HURTS and i wanted to show what it actually meant for Jack. He was denying it, trying to reasure himself that from the truth. I love writing lucifer here as the “Devil” it makes him sound more... darker?? horriying?? And like Jack has been struggling with being his son, the actual devil’s son---so it would seem fitting that he thinks “lucifer” as the “devil” in his mind.

And oh mary. How Jack tries to desparately bring her back but can’t. Cold. She’s gone, she’s not coming back, she’s dead. She’s here right now in his arms, but--shes not at the same time. Her body is here but she, Mary is gone. It’s that same feeling, of Sam and Dean promsing him soon and that this was a good choice for him and stuff - but Jack realising that they didn’t care. They did but they lied but Jack doesn’t see that *caring* part just. The actions, the lies. The betrayal.

AND THEN HOW DEVIL CALLS HIM SON. While LAUGHING.

FAVE IMAGERY. i use it...A LOT. I noticed.

“Son” going back to what I said before of Jack struggling with not being evil and wanting to not be and what this means. He killed mary, for no other reason that he was angry. He *lost* control. He did evil. And so he’s now the Devil’s son. Everything that he didnt want to be.

(everything that his mom didn’t want to be)

AND OH i really love how i use the dashes here. Cutting back to the present. Jack still gripping on. Refusing to fall.

(Fall. Oh i never noticed that... intresting, interesting choice of words!!)

NNGH this HURTS and I LOVE IT. them planning to keep him in there and jack getting himself “out of that darkness” but is he really? did he just fall deeper in?

“will save himself” OH JACK.

ehhh words are failing me now but i love how i went back to the “devil whispering in ear” and “son”

it sets up to the next scene of Jack losing it at the lies people tell and he goes like NO MORE LIES

and then how he goes down for Dean and doesn’t fight back.... because there’s a part of him, of jack that believes... he’s doing wrong.

AND AHHH i just love that ending. It sets for dark!jack SO NICELY.

and that little angst “even if Sam and Dean think he doesn’t deserve to be. “ OOF.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Most fun? This is a hard questions. There’s a lot of things!! I can’t just seem to put it into words.

I think.... ahhh this is really hard

sometimes it’s writing dialogue, sometimes it’s the actions, or the thought process....

OH actually thinking of “sometimes” it’s when the characters’ emotions and personalities SHINE out. Like when I can get to write to the fun stuff of this characters that I love.

Like. An example: Rebekah and Kol bantering? Or ELIJAH AND REBEKAH BEING THE SOFTED. And and Rowena flirting. She’s so fun to write. OR Hinny and their fun energy.

And really when I get to use purple prose. I’m a sucker for poetry and beautiful descriptive stuff and it’s ALWAYS so fun to write them down.

#sorry if i dont make sense #im just rambling here #and when i do. i tend to not make sense at all XD #aeruthien #THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN #i had fun with this <33 #asks

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alswonderland · 5 years

Text

Its time

↳Peter Parker x f!reader

↳ Pregnant au/ married life au with Peter Parker where Peter and reader prepare for the arrival of a new member.

↳Warning: avengers being cute af, fluffy goodness, married couple stuff, Peter being suggestive (slightly)

↳A/n: dude you have no clue how long I have been wanting to post this for. I kept procrastinating on writing it even thought I loved the idea.

*edited from the original version*

————————————

“Y/n!” Peter screamed at the top of his lungs “can you get the screws as well?” he asked his 9 month pregnant wife.

Peter was in the middle of setting a baby crib that he had ordered online when you were 3 months pregnant, but due to really bad shipping arrangements the crib had only come two days go.

Which is why both you and your husband(mostly your husband, because he wasn't letting you do anything) were trying to build the crib as fast as you could because you never know when the baby would pop right out of you, since you were now very close to your due date.

“Coming, coming” you waddled your way to Peter. You gave him the desired object and held your very round belly. “Do you see that sweety, do you see what daddy is making for you? this is going to be your new bed!” you looked at Peter and newly made crib.

You had started to pick up the habit of talking to your baby in the middle of your pregnancy due to the fact that you were bored of staying home alone the entire day, you spoke to your baby, telling him stories about how you and Peter met and how excited is everyone to meet the little one.

Peter looked at you in awe as you rubbed your belly and smiled at your bump. He got on his knees and looked your big belly. He rubbed small circles and whispered soft things only for your infant to hear. Father-son bonding time as he liked to call.

When ever Peter had time, whether it was after long hours of work at the bureau or going on business trips with Tony , your husband would always find a way to talk to your baby.

Peter got up from his position to cup your face in his soft hands. “I love you” he said as he kissed your temple softly.

“I love you, too”

—————————————————————

You opened an eye looking at the glowing red light next to your bed, 3 am. You let out a small groan, angry, it was 3 am and you couldn’t sleep no matter how hard you tried because everytime your eyes closed you would see that beautiful chocolate cake you saw at the grocery store the day before when you went for a late night grocery run with Peter.

“i knew i should've bought it” you thought resting your hand on your belly and felt kicks. “are you thinking about it too?” smiling you looked over to your sleeping husband. Mouth wide open, a bit of drool threatening to fall on the baby blue pillowcase he was sleeping on. What a cutie.

You leaned over to him and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

You slowly removed the covers of your body and tried get off the bed without making any sounds to make up the sleeping beauty next to you.

“ouch, that hurt!” You whined softly, as you rubbed the area you got kicked “whats wrong?” you pouted.

“Food?” you questioned in a amused tone, and got a kick as a response. With that you walked out of your shared bedroom and made your way to the kitchen.

“What should we eat?” You bent down a little to look at the items inside your refrigerator.

“Broccoli? Nah who we kidding we ain’t healthy, pasta? Hmm maybe in the morning,” both hungry and frustrated from no sleep you shut the fridge a bit to hard. You winced at the noise of magnets falling on the floor and prayed that Peter hadn’t woken up.

“We literally don’t have anything to eat!” you kicked the magnets out of the kitchen making a mental note to tell him in the morning to pick it up. You let a annoyed sigh, when you remembered Peter buying some snacks.

“Ah ha!” You exclaimed looking at the pack of chocolate chips in your pantry. “ I knew I had this somewhere” you grined.

You looked at your belly which was covered in one of Peter’s extra large graphics t-shirts, and said “ let’s get baking kiddo.”

“Ahh smells so good!!!” You exclaimed as you mixed the dough with the chocolate chips “if only I can taste it” you said with a slight pout, as you brought the spoon next to your mouth.

“Don’t you even think about it” said Peter making you jump in fright.

“OMG BABE! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? SCARE THE BABY OUT OF ME?” You screamed as you placed your hand on your rapidly beating heart.

Peter, no longer leaning on the doorway of your kitchen made his way to you. His arms holding you in a soft embrace, as he muttered soft words to calm your poor heart. He kissed your forehead and apologized profusely.

“Y/n what are you even doing here? At this time? It’s almost 3:30?”

“I... well you see Junior over here got hungry and decided that it would be fun playing soccer in my tummy till he gets my attention which he did. So I came into the kitchen to see what is there to eat, but didn’t find anything that I wanted then I remembered that we have chocolate chips left so”

“So you wanted to bake cookies” said Peter with a beautiful grin.

“Oh you know me so well, Mr. Husband” you cooed as you pecked his lips.

He smiled at the gesture and shook his head at your cute antics.

“Well then, since you’re going to be baking cookies I might as well help you. Now go on sit down, and let me do the rest.”

With that he sent you out of the kitchen and put the cookies in the oven and cleaned the kitchen as you eagerly waited for them to be done.

You walked back into the kitchen to see if your treats were ready to eat instead you were faced with your husbands back who was in the process of cleaning the dishes.

“wait what are you doing here” you poked Peter’s arm. “i woke up when you kissed me” he shrug as he continued to do the dishes. “you know babe i really thought i was gonna get something more than just a kiss on the forehead since....well you know.... you were up during fuckboy hours but i guess not” he pouted and then winked “and since we are up now” he sang wiggling his eyebrows, you hit his arms laughing.

“Peter” you gasp “how can you say that and in front of your son ” you faked a shocked expression as Peter jokingly started to strip out of his pjs.

‘wow a dinner and a show im so lucky’ you thought as you took a bite of a cookie.

—————————————————————

“ OMG BABE!!!!” Peter’s screams rang through the house.

“What what is? What happened? Who died” you came in as fast as you could while you held onto your belly.

“Honey walk slowly you might get hurt” Peter extended his arm for you to take and gently put you down on you shared bed.

“Nothing like that happened but I just realized that you due date is in a week!!!” He exclaimed. “ IN A WEEK!”

“Can you imagine it? A mini me will be waking around this very spot in a week, Y/n can you imagine!!!” He spoke, his eyes shining with each word.

You smiled “ well he won’t be walking yet but YES IM SO EXCITED! Oh that reminds me, I kind of bought some more baby clothes the other day with Nat. Only because they were so cute!” You gushed. “You should’ve been there Peter that store is magical” he laughed at your child like behavior and went to get the bag of clothes from the closet.

“Did you find it?” You asked, getting ready to get them yourself.

“I got it. I got it” he said as he brought a baby blue bag along with a big brown book.

“also look at what I found” he waved your photo album in the air and sat next to you.

“Awe look it’s little Peter with his little willy,” You pointed at your husband’s baby picture.

Peter’s faced became red, he cleared his throat and turned the page to avoid any more of your comments, “well its not so small now is it” he let out of a soft ouch and rubbed his arm because you hit his arm for saying such things near his soon-to-be-born baby

As you looked through the album of memories, you started to feel intense pain in your lower abdomen.

Little driblets of sweat started to from on your forehead and you breathing started to be come more heavy.

Peter noticed the change in your behavior and placed a hand on the small of back to calm you down. You smiled at him weakly, and grabbed his thigh when the pain became unbearable.

“P-peter” you quietly let out, “I-I think it’s time” you said looking in between your legs and saw the small water soaking your pants.

Your water broke.

Peter’s calm expression morphed into a panicked one as he hurriedly took the hospital bag and walked you to the car.

—————————————————————

The dull colors of the Hospital was making Peter feel more nervous than he actually felt. The thought of something happening to you or the baby in the process of the delivery kept running circles in his mind due to the stress and anxiety he was feeling at that moment. He knew he should not be worrying both you and the baby were in perfect condition, but he was not able to get those nasty thoughts out of his mind.

Peter felt someone’s hand be placed on his shoulder he quickly looked up and saw Tony’s warm brown eyes. Tony gave him a reassuring smile and open his arms to initiate a hug. Peter overwhelmed with emotion cried in Tony’s affectionate embrace.

“I’m going to be father” he sobs “I’m going to be Father”. Tony pulled away and looked at Peter in the eye. He cupped his face and whipped the tears away.

“I know you are. You’re going to be a great one at that.” Tony smiled at the boy whom he saw grow into the fine young man he is today.

“IM GOING TO BE A UNCLE YALL!!!!” a loud voice rang through the hall. Peter laughed at the familiar voice. He saw his friend Wade wave at him dressed up as a baby sitting in a baby stroller, he waved at the two men while being pushed by Sam and Bucky.

“He’s so gonna get killed by them by the end of the day” whispered Tony.

“definitely” Peter said laughing.

Peter left his father figure when the nurse came to tell him that the contraction has begun.

—————————————————————

You were sitting on the bed with your baby in your embrace, Peter walked up to you and kissed your chapped lips. He leaned forwards and whispered to you how well you did during this hard process.

“I should go call them,” he kissed the baby and went out.

Peter walked out of the delivery room with a huge smile that light the entire room “you can come see him now” he said and walked back inside to sit beside you on the bed.

Everyone made their way to the room, walking slowly trying not to wake your newborn.

“he is so precious,” cooed Natasha as she softly grazed his skin with her finger. “Can I hold him?” she asked. You nodded and let your best friend hold your baby boy.

“what’s his name” asked Tony as he walked up to the red headed who was caressing the infant.

“Harry Benjamin Parker” Peter said smiling, “Y/n chose it, but next time i will be the one choosing the name for our child” Peter said and you nodded.

“ Next time?” Thor said laughing. “You already planed on the next time Peter?” Thor teased Peter after seeing his face go red.

“Hey, Hey blondie, stop teasing my son, and auntie Nat can I please hold my grandchild?” Tony said showing his pearly whites in order to get Harry.

“Why should you get to hold Harry next!” said Steve. “I am the oldest!”

“No, I should hold harry next,” quipped Thor “It’s always an honor to be held by a god,”

“A god? oh please, let me hold My God Son harry, since I am his god father! I am his Sirius Black,” said Wade.

“Wade we never made you the god father,” Peter quietly let out as he took Harry back from Natasha’s hand in fear that something might happen while everyone is fighting to hold his son.

One of the nurses walked in to your room worried because of the arguing she heard from outside. She would've never thought that one day she would see the worlds mightiest heroes fighting to hold a baby, but here she was.

Furious because this is most certainly not how one acts in a hospital she kicked them out of the room, and lectured them about how to behave in a hospital.

—————————

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archiefm · 4 years

Text

... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...

DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )

shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....

finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve

grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa

very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism.

if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn

he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.

from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog).

his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.

his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess

hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway

as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right

his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way

had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.

he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.

during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.

he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.

he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.

u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone

not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.

takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.

in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life

works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee

lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond

fan of karl marx. v big on socialism

insomniac with chronic nosebleeds

cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter

always confused or annoyed

statistics

basic information

full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.

physical

colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.

psychological

dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.

skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.

likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ‘emo phase’ anthems.

dislikes: the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)

full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)

tw homophobia

born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.

his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.

when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.

by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.

after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily.

of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.

if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas

study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet

ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea

friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots

ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up

does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is!

#huntingtonintro #is tht the tag....... idk..... msg me xo

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istheresomebodywhocanimagine · 5 years

Text

The Rule of Threes

poachedhazontoast said: I literally drop everything I’m doing as soon as you post a new fic, ilysm. I was wondering if you could write a friends to lovers fic for Gwil? I literally have nothing other than that so it’s all creative license for you (can you tell by my short-ass masterlist that I’m terrible at coming up with ideas?) TIA 💕

(a/n: hello HI ilysm anyways this is a drunk at a wedding fic but its so CHEESY i smiled so big while writing it gwilym is such a sweetheart im so upset he shaved also can you tell i like champagne.... im a classy bitch)

You had told three lies tonight. Two of them were to Gwilym, and the third was more to yourself than anything. Maybe it was to convince you of something less terrifying than fancying your best friend, or maybe it was just really the wine talking. But you both knew it wasn’t true, especially after what had just happened.

Lie number one? “I promise I won’t get wine-drunk.”

Gwilym raised an eyebrow at that one, his sharp blue eyes scanning the empty champagne flutes and wine glasses at every table that were just waiting to be filled. You smiled sheepishly at his accusatory glance, your hands desperately clutching at the hem of your knee length green sundress and tugging it down as you sat at the table with your nameplate on it. He took the seat next to you, awkwardly tucking his gangly knees under the abnormally short table and smiling politely at an older couple that passed by. They knew your parents, and probably were wondering what in the hell a giant was doing at this wedding with you.

Your friend Chelsea was getting married in London, and Gwilym had agreed to be your plus one on the agreement that you’d be his plus one to a wedding of his friend’s coming up. Both of you had been close friends for years, but never solidified the best friend status until last year on a filming break for the both of you. London had never seen such a duo, and now that both of you were on a break again, you’d been running around the city as partners in crime again. Now, it was time to tack on another accomplishment to the best friend status – certified plus ones.

However, if he kept looking as good as he did tonight, the lines between best friend status and something more could become very blurred, very soon.

Waiters swarmed around you as the venue filled up for the reception, and you were asked for your preferences in wine. Gwilym ordered a Shiraz, while you opted for one with a lower alcohol content, a Moscato. Impressed by your apparent adherence to your ‘not getting wine-drunk’ rule, Gwil nodded appreciatively at your choice and chuckled when you playfully elbowed him.

“Hey! Mind your elbows,” he warned teasingly, and you laughed before holding up a hand to the side of your face, blocking you from seeing him and him from seeing you as he chuckled along. Your table slowly filled up with new faces, familiar faces, and everything in between as it got closer to start, and although small talk was bountiful, you could tell that Gwilym’s natural, gentle charm could only go so far before he started to lose interest. The people at your table, unfortunately, were not exactly great conversationalists. You and Gwilym could go on and on for minutes with each other, telling inside jokes and laughing, but the input from the rest of the table was stale at best.

When you were an hour in and still without food or a good conversation, you leaned over to Gwilym, murmuring lie number two directly into his ear. “At the rate this is going, I say we’re out of here by 10, what do you think?” He only nodded in response, an amused smile briefly playing at his lips as he glanced between two other people at the table who were discussing a horribly dry subject.

To cope with the stagnant conversation for the time being, you began drinking your wine at a dizzyingly fast pace on an empty stomach, and Gwilym followed suit. When he went to stand up for a moment to go to the bathroom after the toasts, his eyes widened as he straightened up. “Oh my,” he murmured, a crooked smile crossing his lips as he looked down at you. “I think I’ve drank more than I thought.”

That alone was enough to make you giggle a few times, and you stood up with him, experiencing a similar head rush as you realized how tipsy you were. “Oh, shit,” you muttered, laughing as you slipped your arm into his, holding onto him to steady yourself. He nodded to the table and excused the both of you, navigating his way between the tables with you as you both headed off for the restrooms. As soon as you were out of earshot of your table, you groaned loudly before giggling. “Jesus Christ, I’ve never been so bored in all of my life and I went to regular uni for a whole year!”

Gwilym’s laugh was hearty as he walked down the long hallway with you, his arm hooked around yours securely. “I’m so glad you said something, I was afraid you’d be mad if I ragged on the table there! What a dull group. I was almost bored to tears, and I’m starving.”

You got to the bathrooms, and with a small pat to his arm, you slipped yours out of his grasp and diverged paths with him. Unbeknownst to you, he lingered for a few seconds longer, watching you as you turned and headed for the door. Out of sheer chivalry, he looked away as you opened the door, and chewed on his lower lip for a moment before smiling to himself and heading off to the men’s bathroom.

As much as you were enticed by his appearance tonight, he was digging yours almost tenfold, and had never felt so at risk of crossing that line and kissing you. It was that, or wine-drunk Gwilym was just a horny bastard. Either way, he couldn’t ignore the heat in his face as he returned to wait in the hall for you patiently afterwards, standing with his hands in his pockets and looking around aimlessly until something caught his drunken, yet perceptive eye.

When you emerged, you noted the delight that passed over his face when he realized it was finally you. Reaching and grabbing your hand, he tugged you off towards the kitchen door he’d just seen swing open. Stumbling a bit due to your equilibrium not quite being intact anymore, you furrowed your eyebrows when he came to a stop.

“Gwil, that’s the kitchen. Did you drink more than I thought?” you asked seriously, and he had to laugh as he dropped your hand, slowly peeking inside of the door and looking around for a moment before turning back to you.

“Watch this,” he whispered, putting a finger to his lips before he straightened up and fixed his collar, walking nonchalantly into the kitchen to your mild horror. The door swung shut behind him, and you were left to wonder what in the hell he was up to. You were not about to get kicked out of your friend’s wedding because your plus one wanted seconds, no matter how attractive that plus one was.

About a minute later, Gwilym reappeared as casually as he’d walked in, but now he came equipped with a bottle of champagne in hand and a plate of meats, cheeses, and crackers. Your jaw went slack as you began to ask him how he’d managed to do that, but he shushed you once again as he handed you the tray of food and pulled you down the hall to the elevator, not speaking until you were both alone inside.

“That was a rush!” he laughed, starting to pull the wrapping off of the top of the champagne bottle as he pressed the button to the top floor of the building. Cocking an eyebrow at the action, you watched as he carefully peeled the wrapping completely off. “Apparently kitchen workers either don’t know or don’t care about the difference between a member of the groomsmen and an actor playing a member of the groomsmen.”

“Gwilym, you did not take one of the champagne bottles for the bridal party, did you?” When he nodded, you burst out laughing and covered your face with your free hand, quickly going red. “Oh my God, I’m never going to get invited to any of my friends’ weddings again, you idiot!”

“If they’re anything like this one, good riddance,” he simply stated, hiding the champagne bottle underneath his jacket when the doors opened at the top floor. You both peeked out and found the hallway to be empty, so Gwilym took off for the exit to the stairwell to the roof that was indicated by the sign at the end of the hallway, and you had no choice but to follow suit. It was unlocked, thankfully, and you both climbed the steps to find a completely uninhabited roof. “Perfect. No boring tablemates anymore.”

Looking around as you made your way across the roof, you marveled at the lights of London now that the sun had dipped below the horizon. Leaning against the edge of the roof after sitting the tray down next to your feet, you took in the breathtaking view of the horizon.

Thousands – maybe millions – of lights twinkled in the vast expanse of the sprawling city. This would probably be a view you’d love to get used to, but then again, you never would – it was so beautiful, too beautiful to be normalized like that. You felt a presence at your side, suddenly, and you looked up to see Gwilym, who was just getting the wire top over the cork twisted off.

When he saw you glance at him, then down at the bottle, he laughed. You looked windswept, but horribly amused by his struggle to get the bottle open, so he offered it to you and raised an eyebrow in challenge. Rolling your eyes, you accepted the challenge and twisted the cork out just enough to get a good handle on it. Hooking your hand under the neck of the bottle, you pressed your thumb up against the top of the cork and slowly applied pressure. The cork gave way easily, popping out and making a noise like a gunshot as it flew off the edge of the building.

“Oh my god!” you giggled impishly, peeking over the edge and losing the cork quickly in the myriad of lights and motion below.

“If you catch a charge for hitting a pedestrian, I don’t know you,” Gwilym laughed, turning around and sinking down to a sitting position as he pulled his jacket off, setting it to the side before patting the spot next to him. Taking a drink of the champagne quickly, you savored the sweet, sparkly taste of the wine before sinking down to your knees and sitting with your legs tucked to the side away from Gwilym, lazily falling against his side as you handed him the bottle. He accepted gratefully, taking a drink as well while he shifted so that you were resting against him more comfortably, your head falling on his shoulder gently.

He didn’t attempt to make any move, keeping his hand resting respectably on the cold concrete of the roof between you, but he didn’t push you away either, letting you support your body weight on his. This wasn’t new for either of you – you weren’t shy about cuddling with each other anymore, he was never surprised when you’d lean against his side, and neither were you if he’d rest his head in your lap. There were no expectations, which led to no awkwardness between you two.

But whether it was the alcohol quickly eradicating both of your common sense, or just genuinely the tension becoming unbearably, tonight it felt heavy. It felt different, like you were in an alternate universe, one where all of the small moments you’d shared were all clashing at once, making it hard to breath and hard to see on top of being tipsy.

“God, Gwilym, m’sorry, I swear not all of my acquaintances are such bores,” you apologized, laughing as you pressed your free hand to your temple. “Our table just got the short end of the stick.”

“Oh, it’s alright,” he reassured, handing you the bottle and watching as you took a drink. His lips stayed parted just a tiny bit as he observed your eyelids fluttering closed while you took a drink, tipping your head back slightly. As your hair fell back to completely expose your neck, Gwilym had to chew on his lip and look away. It was tantalizing, the sight of your soft, unblemished skin, an open plane of your body that he desperately wanted to conquer with his lips, to mark with his love.

To distract himself, he reached over and grabbed the tray of food next to you, placing it in his lap and starting to nervously snack on it. You handed the bottle back to him, worrying about the sudden silence he’d left you in while you’d drank, and grabbed a few pieces of meat and cheese while you stared ahead at the opposite end of the roof.

“Thank you for coming with tonight, though you really didn’t have to,” you hummed, glancing over at him and smiling before looking forward again and taking a bite of your food. “Also, you really didn’t have to do all of this,” you then giggled, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Oh, what kind of plus one would I be if I didn’t steal champagne and food from the kitchen and ditch the actual wedding party with you?” That got another inebriated laugh out of you, and you could hear a deep chuckle reverberating in his chest as you closed your eyes, your eyelids heavy with intoxication and pure bliss.

“You’re right. We should do this more often, especially if we get champagne every time.” You took the bottle from him and stole another drink before sitting it between the two of you and shivering a bit. “Maybe we should become wedding crashers. We’ve got to find a warmer roof next time, though.”

There was a shuffle and you felt Gwilym moving, so you sat up a bit and opened your eyes to see him picking up his jacket, dusting it off before carefully draping it over your shoulders. Making a happy noise, you pulled it completely around you, curling up inside the jacket as you scooted closer. “Better?” he asked, hiccupping a bit and guffawing at himself as he shook his head. “Christ, wine-drunk was a horrible idea! Who did this to me?”

“All you, Gwilly,” you answered, sing-songy and unable to shake your case of the giggles as you closed your eyes once again, feeling at peace and almost sleepy in the current situation. It didn’t help that the steady rise and fall of Gwilym’s shoulders as he breathed felt like a rocking sensation to you, and you found yourself drifting off before he spoke again.

“D’you suppose they’d catch us if we were wedding crashers?” he asked suddenly, looking down at his hands as he rubbed the pad of his thumb along the rim of the champagne bottle. “We could come up with convincing backstories, couldn’t we?”

“With your mind? I could definitely see it happened,” you giggled, opening your eyes slowly and looking up at him through glazed over eyes. He met your gaze, and his breathing hitched in the most miniscule of ways as he found himself entranced, unable to look away or think of anything else but your lips.

You smiled nervously as he continued to stare, turning to face him more and accidentally knocking the champagne over in the process. “Oh, fucking hell,” you cursed as you quickly picked it back up. There wasn’t a ton left anyways - you two were bound to be even drunker in about 30 minutes, at the rate you’d consumed it. However, the small puddle you left still made you pout as you sat the champagne to the side, blushing at your obvious clumsiness around Gwilym. He naturally made you a bumbling idiot, so the fact that he was drunkenly staring at you like you were his last meal only made you even more of a mess.

But Gwilym only laughed, shaking his head as he scooted his leg out of the way to avoid the puddle. “There’s a bunch of napkins in one of those pockets,” he said, referring to the jacket. You started to dig furiously through the one closest to him, pouting even more when you came up empty handed. “Check the other, you dork,” he teased gently, reaching across you and grabbing the napkins out of the pocket. In the process of retrieving them, he made the mistake of looking up while you were watching his hand.

He’d never been this close face-to-face with you before, and it was alien territory to him as he stared at you almost helplessly, your noses dangerously close to bumping each other as he let out a slow, long breath. You felt the exhale hit your lips, and you looked up to be surprised by Gwilym watching you quietly, his face only inches from yours.

He broke first. His monstrous hand dwarfed your face as he cupped your jaw, pressing his lips against yours gently, almost hesitantly. He was testing the waters, and you were just as scared, so you barely reciprocated as far as the kiss went. However, your hand subconsciously rose to rest on top of his, your fingers intertwining with his when he pulled away and loosened his hold on your jaw.

You stared at him for a good half-minute before taking a deep breath and dropping his hand gently, not sure what to make of what just happened. You were obviously very pleased that you’d just kissed your hot best friend, but also terrified because you’d just kissed your hot best friend.

“Er, sorry if I spooked you,” he murmured, grabbing the napkins and awkwardly beginning to mop up the mess you’d made as you watched, dumbfounded.

“No, I-“ you couldn’t say it. You were scared that you’d read too much into the situation. Maybe it was just a drunken thing, an ‘I’m horny and single, you’re horny and single’ kind of thing. That’s where lie number three came in. “We’re so drunk, you didn’t mean to.”

A mischievous smirk graced his usually elegant, thin lips, and he balled the sopping napkins into one big mush before tossing it to the side, sitting back against the wall again. “Well, I definitely did, so you’re wrong on that.”

It felt like your heart was doing a million flips as you processed what he had just said, and you all but threw yourself on him as you pressed your lips to his this time, mumbling, “Oh, thank God,” against his lips and making him chuckle into the kiss. He pulled you carefully onto his lap, his arms securing themselves around your waist as you moved your lips in sync, desperately making up for every moment you’d wanted him to kiss you that night, and every night before that. Sloppy, boundless kisses shared between the both of you quickly took your breath away, and you had to pull away first, taking a breath as your nose brushed up against his jaw, the scruffy hair of his beard scratchy against your skin.

You loved it, though. His beard suited him, and you didn’t mind that it wasn’t the softest ever. The roughness greatly contrasted with the taste of his lips - it was sweet, and you dragged your tongue over your lower lip before you pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, overwhelmed by all that had just happened.

Pulling away, you gave him a moment to calm down too, his pupils blown out with excitement as he scanned your face, searching for any hint of reciprocated energy that he could latch on to. Reaching out, you grabbed the champagne and swirled the last bit of it around in the bottle before looking at Gwilym as you drank the last of it, letting the bottle roll away when you sat it down on its side.

“Well, I’ll be,” he murmured, looking between you and the bottle. “Thanks for sharing, not like I wanted another sip anyways. Man, you kiss the daylights out of your best friend and then she still has the audacity to hog the rest of the champagne.”

You threw your head back as you laughed, closing your eyes and shaking your head while his jacket slipped off your shoulders. He quickly grabbed it, pulling it back over you as you met his gaze once again, a goofy grin gracing your own lips. “Next time, I guess?” With that, you turned and situated yourself between his legs, leaning back against his chest and making a content noise in the back of your throat.

Running his hands down the coat that sheltered your arms, he quietly adored the snug way you fit between his legs, and he leaned down to kiss the bare skin between your neck and shoulder, which was just exposed next to the collar of his jacket. “Maybe there’s still a taste left?” he mused, his voice lower and far more sultry as he lifted his head from your shoulder and took your chin between his fingers. Turning your head to look at him, he pressed another eager kiss to your lips, marking one of many that would be shared not only for the rest of the night, but for countless days to come.

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172 notes · View notes

justaramblingromantic · 5 years

Text

fail better

Characters/Pairing: Kobayashi Rindou and Tsukasa Eishi/EiRin

Type: Canon-divergent AU, Post-series, Peerless-verse, Freestyle

Word Count: 2277

A/N #01: Ever read something so stupid that at the end of it all, you can almost literally feel the double negative ‘dislike’ interaction sign from The Sims forming right over your head? That was exactly my feeling after I read the nonsense that was chapter 296. Actually, my feeling was so strong it singlehandedly fueled my motivation to write this piece in one sitting, haha. What the effing heck, Tsukuda.

A/N #02: Title derived by Samuel Beckett’s quote: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

xXxXxXxXxX

Hours after the conclusion of his round of the tournament, he was back in the still quiet of his hotel room, staring down at the empty text screen of his phone, wondering what to write to properly convey his conflicted feelings at the moment. He found himself stuck for the longest time, because the other person who had all but wrung a promise out of him for consistent updates of his progress would not appreciate it in the least if he was insincere or dishonest with her and, most importantly, himself.

And she would know intrinsically too, much to his chagrin.

He did not have to struggle futilely for the whole night, because as if aware of his mounting difficulties…or perhaps just plain exasperated with his indecisive dithering, the smart device in his hand vibrated impatiently with an incoming call, and the name that popped up on his Caller ID was both a comforting and sobering sight at the same time.

He picked up, of course. After a brief, hesitating pause. Mentally steeling himself, because it was…difficult not to be swept away by that surge of self-critical disappointment all over again.

“…Hello.”

“Yo.”

In hindsight, he did not know what he was even feeling so anxious about. Just hearing that one word, just hearing that familiar voice filtered through the speaker from the other end, already possessed the miraculous effect of easing the stiff tension that had grown unbidden between his shoulders, bearing down on him like a heavy weight that entire day. He sighed her name.

“Rindou.”

There was some crinkling to be heard in ambient surroundings, as if she was snacking on something while on the phone with him at the same time. That casual familiarity soothed his nerves, because it was just like her to be so relaxed and comfortable around him. Before the conversation could lull and grow tense and awkward, she nonchalantly continued.

“I heard you got your ass handed to you today, Tsukasa~” his impish best friend all but singsonged.

Instead of feeling sorry and regretful over his loss, the woman actually sounded indecently gleeful instead. Even if he wanted to, it was hard to remain down in the doldrums when she was like this. He grew exasperated, remembering that sometimes she was the kind who liked to poke at people’s bruises, just to hear them yell.

“…You don’t beat around the bush, do you?” he deadpanned.

“Why should I?” she retorted between munches. “D’ya know how many texts I got this afternoon alone reporting your defeat to that Saiha dude? I practically received multiple blow-by-blow accounts, and they sent videos too; at least five different viewing angles of you getting your ass handed to you-”

Now, he was just plain mortified, never mind feeling sorry for himself.

“What. Who texted you?” he demanded to know, flustered that she had to learn about it from other people instead of straight from him. His cheeks warmed in pique. “Why are people texting you anyway to tell you those things.”

“Yeah, I wonder why,” she replied in a tone that implied she didn’t even have to wonder at all. Their closeness wasn’t exactly a big secret to those who knew them in Tootsuki.

“Where are you now, anyway?” she changed the subject blithely. “Moping about in your room?”

“I’m not moping,” he spluttered in denial. Sure, he was feeling a bit morose and out of sorts, but that was because there was nothing to do since he no longer had to prepare for the next stage of the competition! Furthermore and strangely enough, his defeat today had not felt as crushingly overwhelming as that time in the aftermath of the Regiment Shokugeki. And more importantly- “Next time, wait patiently for my texts instead of listening to the gossips of other people.”

“Then text me quicker next time-”

A knock on the door had him distracted, and he got up to answer it, phone still cradled to his ear.

“-I thought you got so depressed you decided to commit seppuku with that long-assed nail file of yours. Hola~!”

He opened the door…and there she was, standing at the entrance, her digitally modulated reply abruptly becoming clear and distinct in real time. She was bright eyed and smirking at him, just so irrepressibly buoyant it was as if she was a ray of sunshine herself.

Eishi blinked owlishly in surprise. “You are…here.” He quickly snapped out of his brief stupor. “Wait. What are you doing here?”

She brushed past him to get into his room. “Ta-da~ I came to offer my bosom for you to cry on, of course!”

He shut the door and turned to her, a funny look crossing his face, still half in disbelief…because she was supposed to be in Barcelona right now.

She looked like she had just stepped off a flight, and she had come bearing consolation gifts, too. “Look what I bought on the way here!” She swiveled to him and raised the plastic bags that she was holding. “Fried chicken and cheap beer are the best things to fix a broken heart!”

“My heart is not broken,” he retorted, nonplussed by her shining enthusiasm to bring light to his dark and tortured soul. “And will you put those drinks away; we’re still underaged.”

“Boo; you’re so straitlaced! What’s a bit of underaged drinking gonna do? We’d be twenty in a year or so, anyway! Live a little!”

And then she promptly proceeded to make a mess in his otherwise previously tidy accommodation. Her sneakers were kicked haphazardly aside, she dumped her bag unceremoniously on the floor in the middle of the room, and with whirlwind efficacy, she soon had the food and drinks laid out on the dressing table. Popping a crispy piece of chicken, deep fried to golden brown perfection, into her mouth, she pulled out a chilled can of beer from the six pack, bought right off a nearby conbini, cracked it open, brought it right to her lips and drank deep. She exhaled gustily with happiness, eyes squeezed shut with contentment, a look of comical satisfaction flitting across her rosy face.

“Hell yeah, this is the best~!”

The redhead popped open another can of beer, and she pushed it to him. “Don’t just stand there! Come join me, dummy.”

Eishi was reluctant at first, but as she handed him the choicest bits of chicken on a paper plate and then started to dig into her own share with zeal, he realized belatedly that he was hungry, too. How she miraculously knew that he hadn’t had dinner yet was a mystery; he had been preoccupied and had somehow forgotten all about eating in the process. He took refreshing sips of ice-cold beer in between succulent bites of crisp, precisely battered chicken; she was right, there was a certain epicurean pleasure to be had from this combination. His mind was already automatically deconstructing the dish, gauging the type of ingredients and their exact quantity, speculating on the various steps of preparation, how hot the temperature of the frying oil had to be-

She snorted at his distracted demeanor as they dawdled over the meal. “You’re such a nerd, I swear.”

He snapped out of his thoughts to stare at her. She snickered.

“Feel better now?”

He continued to stare.

“Wanna walk me through how your bout went?” Her golden eyes gleamed. “Or maybe I should tell you how I think it went as related to me by my secret sources?”

“No, thank you-”

He obligingly spilled, not wanting to hear of the embarrassing accounts as witnessed by whoever had spied on him for her. Besides, she was someone who actually appreciated the finer nuances of his cooking style and methodology, even when others would have been bored to tears by all that incredibly dry, technical talk. She paid rapt attention, her eyes trained unwaveringly on him as he spoke about the dish he came up with, and objectively as well of the one that had eventually defeated him.

Rindou was intrigued.

“Huh. Sounds like you had quite a bit of fun out there.”

International competitions like The Blue were really on another level altogether. She also wondered how they were able to dredge up so much crazy every year just to stuff into one event.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘fun,’” Eishi muttered under his breath.

There was an annoying soreness just lying under the skin and muscles of his chest, growing more and more aggravating as time passed after that battle with Saiba Asahi, and downright impossible to ignore however he tried. It was a gripping feeling that he had not experienced in quite a long time. It felt like a muted rage, a festering, humiliating wound in his heart that had been dealt by the hand of his opponent.

“He claimed my knife in light of my loss,” he finally admitted his shame.

It was now or never, and he refused to lie. Not to her. Never, to her.

For one moment, the air around her stilled.

And then her eyes glowed bright with fury.

For all that some people always said of his selfishness and arrogance, even he had never stooped so low as to steal the precious knives of another chef, their livelihood, the very source of their pride. Everything that he had, he had painstakingly squeezed out of his own talents, refusing to rely or even lean on the abilities of others, because there was simply no honor or pride to be had for that kind of tainted victory. But such distasteful practice was not entirely unheard of, nor was it illegal or wrong. Life in the kitchen could be cutthroat and fast paced where all sorts of characters lurked; those who could not take the heat simply had no place there, regardless of how good or skilled they were.

Then again, Tsukasa had never been the kind to break easily.

“What an unpleasant punk,” Rindou uttered flatly, stiffly.

He said nothing to that, but somehow, he felt lighter, because here she was, absolutely furious on his behalf.

“Which blade did he take?”

He knew she was going to laugh. “…The one…you nicknamed ‘the long-assed nail file,’” he responded slowly, after a reluctant pause.

He was absolutely right; she snort-giggled into her beer. That heavy tension in the atmosphere promptly dissolved, and miraculously along with it, his paralyzing sense of disgrace. “Pffft. Of all the- That one?? Eh, I s’pose there’s really no accounting for taste, is there?”

Eishi sent her a disgruntled look, visibly put out by her reaction. “Enough, you. I actually liked that blade.”

She relaxed at his mild censure. He was calmer now, less tense, less brittle. In turn, that pleased her, too. She took another sip of her beer, already on her second can.

“So make an even better one, then. In the first place, you haven’t even fully developed that technique yet with how recently you came up with it,” she pointed out.

He drank to that, too. “I intend to.” There was a firmness in his quiet reply, an unshakable resolve that hardened his usually distant, lavender gaze, as he retreated to a place within himself that would not allow him to give up until he had achieved what he sought to.

She eyed him silently over the rim of her drink. That look of relentless, dogged determination was something that she hadn’t seen on him for a long time.

“…You really are having fun with this,” she observed once more with insistence, her lips twitching up in a delighted smile.

“It’s not fun,” he promptly corrected her. “It’s…frustrating.”

“But at least it’s not boring anymore, right?” She nudged him knowingly. He sighed and looked down at her plainly amused expression. She wasn’t going to give up until he admitted it, was she? He really did not know how she did it; there was not one word of consolation offered over his defeat, but still she made him feel so much better, all the same.

“…No. It’s not boring anymore,” he acknowledged. He was simmering, seething quietly beneath that deceptively calm, tranquil façade of his. “I actually feel…quite displeased,” he admitted, frowning slightly and looking quite out of sorts with himself.

She snorted, once again, at the understatement. He was really terrible at expressing anger. She reached up and petted his head for trying his best, all the same. “There, there. Let it all out. You want Rindou onee-chan to give you a hug too? Not to blow my own trumpet, but my hugs are seriously the best.”

He stared at her shamelessly bragging. Or maybe not, since he knew from experience that her hugs were seriously the best indeed, as advertised.

“Okay,” he agreed readily to her half joking offer. Perhaps it was the beer that relaxed his inhibitions, for he briefly studied her where she was sitting beside him, and then, without hesitation, he reached out, grabbed her around her middle, and half tugged, half lifted her onto his lap. She paused in surprise at his spontaneity, but before anything else could be said, he folded his arms around her and gently nested her against himself. He pressed his face into crimson fragrance of her hair and inhaled, sighing at her warmth and softness.

“…I’m glad you came,” he told her truthfully. It made him feel sleepy too, tension dissipating, and weariness rushing to the forefront in the face of this simple, reassuring contentment that was Rindou.

Her gaze softened. Her arms curled lazily around him in return, and she snuggled up to her best friend.

“Mm. You worked hard today, Tsukasa. Well done-”

xXxXxXxXxX

#Shokugeki no Soma #Food Wars: Shokugeki no Souma #Tsukasa Eishi #Kobayashi Rindou #EiRin #EiRin: Peerless AU #freestyle #my fics

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snailshit · 5 years

Text

Personal update

Since I can't sleep because it's raining(3:50 AM) I'm gonna write a post here for once after a long hiatus lmao xD

So in short:

- lost my expensive phone

- had 2 trips

- broke my parents car

-emptied 2 apoartment and moved to a new appartment within a day

If you don't wanna read my long story u can skip this

First of all this month has probably been the most hectic month ever in my life. Like a real rollercoaster. It first started the day after Vappu.

My phone either got lost or got stolen and I was desperately panicking after it in another town. Which kinda sucked alot since it sss bought half a year ago(pretty new) and worked great :( so I quickly bought a new phone just before my Norway trip. I got some money back but overall it sucked, cannot restore my photos. Haven't heard any news from it since then ... which made me a little sad

The Norway trip lasted five days which was nice but cold and rainy half of the days. After the Norway trip I got very addicted playing Stardew Valley.

Then the weekend after that I went on another trip to Åland. That was a success except I thought that my drivers license was left at home even though I had it with me all the time. The constant worry of not passing the gate and not having an "legit" ID-card made me very anxious over the whole trip. I tried to stop thinking about it but it did pop up on my mind every day. Also got my period on the trip. I tried to find my driver's license after the trip and was nearly giving up, so fed up and emotionally frustrated over myself and cried but my alien found it, luckily. Then after the Åland trip me and my bro decided to look for a new appartment. We found a perfect one but it was taken even tho we tought we were supposed to get it and we were really busy with other tasks at the same time. I had to empty my appartment in my previous study town the same month and so I went home to my parents and borrowed their car. Then I broke my mum's car I borrowed in the middle of the road. This was really the worst of the worst. Luckily the car did survive until I got back to my home village but the worst case scenario played in my head all the time while driving the car. The car was consuming alot of motoroil and I had no idea that I had to fill the motor oil frequently to not burn up the car engine. So the whole trip was noisy and scary when the car engine could stop anytime when I was accelerating slower with the car. I felt very sad and dumb afterwards after not knowing that I should've filled and checked the motor oil.

So the next problem my mom has to deal with is to get a new car asap and I can understand that she must feel very frustrated and stressed. I feel alot of guilt right now because I need to borrow my family's car for my summerwork which starts on monday and I just destroyed my family's car that I need for work forcing my mom to quickly buy a new car by tuesday x(. This leads to me not having a car to drive to work on monday and I got another panicking issue to solve. Desperately calling to a person I knew who usually works at that summerworkplace but he was on summer vacation but I got recommended further to another person I knew who could possible drive me to work. Tried to call first but didnt answeeer so I sent a message to her hoping she could save my day. The good news is that she replied that she could help me drive me to work together on monday!! and that was such a relief. Also me and my bro decided to not give up on appartmenthunting so we quickly went on looking for appartment and signed up on the most possible appartment we found looked suitable on the same day like yesterday before june starts. We were a little fed up and stressed with so much stuff going on. We had to quickly write a mail to our current tenant telling we're moving out before june. and today we moved the to a new sppsttment within a day after signing the contract. I was relieved that I didn't promise to start summerwork until 4th june. I thought this month was going to be chill and I could concentrate on finishing all my imcomplete schooltasks but no. Alot of unexpected things has happened so fast in this shoty time of the month. I am so on the edge of falling apart. If shit still gonna happen on the last day in may Im gonna flip. Lol but hopefully things will settle down better soon

That sums it up

#personal

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seungmin-jpeg · 6 years

Text

Stray Kids On Tumblr / Felix

Chan // Woojin // Minho // Changbin // Hyunjin // Jisung // Felix // Seungmin // Jeongin

I have waited a long time to write this one

Half the reason i started this series was to write for him tbh

Anyways

Started his blog long before he became a trainee

But A LOT of effort into it

Spent hours looking for the perfect desktop theme

Then spent a day working on it to make it have is own little ‘felix flare’

And then spent hoooooours working on his mobile header

Naturally very proud of his blog

Works really hard to make good posts

Majority is just memes

Or recreations of memes

Reblogs a lot of old vines

He’s the type of blog to get all those weird random asks from people

And he always has witty comebacks

So sometimes his posts will blow up

He just has that typical tumblr humor

And it really made his blog blow up

Ends up having one famous post with like 100k reblogs and is still growing and he still thinks its the dumbest posts he’s made his whole life

But thats tumblr for you

Sometimes he’d be working on a big post

And then tumblr would do that dumb thing

Where it freezes on you and you cant post things

The amounts of times his family heard him yelling from up in his room as tumblr crashed on him yet again

anyways

Honestly wasn’t super aware of kpop

But like

Of course he knew about it

And then he made it through the audition

And he was like oh hey

I kinda gotta figure out whats going on here

So he

Like the smart person he is

Searches through the tumblr tag

And oh yikes

The majority of the tag was bts and got7

And he was like

Sweet

And then staff at the company told him watching kdramas will always help him learn korean

Because of this extreme change in his life

And the need to learn the language as fast as possible

He searches for some good kdramas to watch

So again he turns to tumblr

And he finds some good recommendations

But he cant reblog it to his main blog

Because ??? he cant expose himself like this to all he’s meme followers

So he real quick makes a side blog for all his kpop/kdrama needs

And reblogs a few kdrama recommendations

And a few kpop song recommendations as well

But he’s only find rec’s for all those old classic kdramas

Like playful kiss and boys over flowers

Not really his speed yah know

So thats when he stumbles across your blog

He had just found one of your posts about kdramas

And he real quick messages you on anon and was like hey have any recs

And you were like YES!!!1!!1!

So you gave him a good list

Grouping them by themes and such

And then highlighted some of your favorites

He ended up being drawn to one title

“Uncontrollably fond”

And you had mentioned that it was really sad

So he googled it to try and see what it was about

And when you google it one of the first things it says about the drama is

“A man and woman meet again after they broke up in the past.”

So he was like alright that one it is

Catch him later trying to find out who wrote that description because there was so much more to that drama

He literally could not put it down

Lowkey forgot half way through he was supposed to be trying to learn korean

Watched an episode every night before bed

Because yah know he was packing and stuff

Part of it helped with the stress of leaving his home and such

The other part was just because it was super addicting to watch

Of course he had to take a small break of watching it just because life got to hectic with packing and everything

But he had an overlay on the way to korea

So he watched the drama at the airport

Catch this teenage boy trying not to cry in the airport omg

As he sat in the airport he was like

I gotta talk to someone about this

So he searched up your blog again and left an ask

And because you’re always on tumblr you got it right away.

“Im sitting in the airport on the verge of tears because of uncontrollably fond why’d you recommend this to me”

You chuckled to yourself as you read his ask

“I told you it’d be sad!” you finally decided to answer

You had totally forgotten about the person who had asked for recs

It was nice to see them again

The two of you talked back and forth for a bit

And then you got a message

“I got tired of leaving asks so i’m just going to message you now. A lot easier.”

You asked him when his flight was, and how much of the show you had left

And he was like

Not enough time

He was to invested now

You recommended maybe waiting to watch the last few episodes until he was alone and had a box of tissues

Earning a laugh from him

Like the curious person you are

You asked him where he was going

And he just kinda said korea and then asked about the soundtrack to the drama

So you didn’t push anymore

Because it seemed like something he didn’t really want to talk about

So inteast you talked about the soundtrack

Found out he really really liked the song “a little braver”

So you listened to the song while you talked with him

While you waited for him to get back to you

You scrolled through his blog

It was kinda sad looking and had the default theme

And he had a random mix of kpop and kdrama recs

So you asked him if he was new to the whole kpop/kdrama world

And he was like “kinda”

Cue you saying if he ever wanted any recs on anything to ask you because you got him

And he just chuckled and said he had to catch his flight, but he’d remember that

And that he’d message you as soon as he finished the drama

Later in the week you got a message from some random meme blog

About uncontrollably fond

And you were like wtf

Why is this popular weird meme blog messaging me about a kdrama

So you were like um who???

And he was like shoot wrong blog!!

Then switched to his kpop blog

You laughed to yourself thinking about how yet another person had been converted to the dark side

Little did you know

He was PART OF the dark side

You followed his main blog too

Because why not

And the two of you talked a lot

You found out what a big jokester he was

And just how funny he could be

But that he was also super emotional and wore his feelings on his sleeve

The two of you went from talking about kdramas and random kpop things to little parts of your day

He’d complain to you about learning korean and the language barrier issues he’d always run into

And how tired he was at the end of the day

And you’d tell him about school

And the little things about your country you felt like he would like hearing about

The two of you never even exchanged names

Just referred to each other as your urls

Months past

He wasn’t on tumblr as much

Even his main blog started to stop posting

Which he always at least had queued up stuff

You’d leave him little encouraging messages every now and then

But he’d always take forever to respond

Instead

You occupied yourself with the new show jyp was putting out

Becoming way to invested for your own good

And getting especially drawn to a certain member named felix

Something felt familiar about him

And you felt really drawn to him

But you just assumed it was because of his personality

And the fact that he could speak english

Then the dreaded day came

Felix was eliminated

And you felt like the world had swallowed all your joy

You decided to message your kdrama friend

Just a simple hey

And he actually responded to your disbelief

He seemed just as down as you

So you two just ended up being sad together

And then you were like

Isn’t it like 3am there?

He was like yah

You were like ??? go to bed ???

He said he couldn’t fall asleep so you suggested watching a movie

So the two of you headed over to rabb.it

Ended up watching Your Name

Half way through the movie he ended up asking you why you were so upset

So you told him that your favorite person from a survival show had been eliminated

And you could see he wasn’t typing anything after you had sent the message off

So you asked him why he was upset

You watched him type something

Then delete it

Type it up again

Then delete it again

It went on for a bit before you little ‘pop’ sounded and his message came in

“I got eliminated off a survival show” it read

And you were ???

Do you take this seriously or not ???

So you just kinda said “are you okay”

And he was like maybe

So you asked how he was maybe okay

He replied by saying that it was nice to have someone to talk to who wasn’t in the show itself but also wasn’t family

Youre super confused now because this is felix you’ve been talking too???

When you actually sat back and thought about it

The timeline all made sense

It would make sense if this was actually felix

The movie now long forgotten played on as you asked him if he was really felix

And he responded with a funny little smilie face

“I am but you really can’t tell anyone”

“Felix aren’t you supposed to not be doing this? I thought they took away phones and stuff tho??”

He explained everything and it all made sense but you were still shook to the core because youre talking with the felix lee right now

But you took the chance to tell him everything every fan wanted to tell him at that moment

You told him how proud you and everyone else was of him

And how people were already working on making sure both him and minho ended up back in stray kids

And by the way he talked you could tell he was happier

Not much later you were excitedly congratulating him on making it back in

And everything was perfect

Because the weird person asking you about kdramas

Months and months later ended up being the person you loved the most

Without even knowing it

The two of you had a special secret friendship that no one knew about

And no one would know about for a long long time

And you were honestly okay with that

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