#ill even throw in a little doodle for you
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reintroducing myself!! ★彡
with a new year comes new goals and i am also no longer in high school so my old introduction requires an update 🫡 but hello hello
i'm ally, i love pink and i think looking at my studies in pink as well as sharing my notes online fill me with a lot of joy and thus the pink academia studyblr account was born
my goal is simply to get a grade average of 90+ for this year! and to also meet lots of very clever people and to engage with my community both online and irl
i recently made the realisation i was more extroverted than introverted, i just had a lot of social anxiety lol
i'm also currently studying a media/arts double degree and in my first year if thats any relevancy
yayy thats all have a cookie for making it this far 🍪 i look forward to reconnecting with others and seeing everyone else's posts once more
#studyblr#study#study blog#studyspo#study motivation#study aesthetic#aesthetic#pink#studyblr introduction#studyblr intro post#as before i am also here to advertise my other socials#i do very chill study/gaming streams on twitch @ allixirr !!#we can work hard in real time 💪💪#good for people who live in asia because that is my timezone 🤩#anyway um if you're reading this i love you so much#lets be friends#send me a dm or ask whenever#ill even throw in a little doodle for you#also this account is pro palestine
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I’m going through it right now
#i'm remembering that even in high school i would cry in the shower about how much of a nobody i would become#i wanted to make an animation about an artist who kept throwing away sketches and art pieces because of the unsatisfaction#breaking down and opening drawers of drawings through the years and just throwing them everywhere#and the camera focuses on a very old crayon drawing. two little hands pick it up and bring it up to the artist#'look what i drew.' of course the lil girl is just the younger artist#the artist takes the picture and tells the lil girl 'wow it looks so good. i'm proud of you'#and the lil girl says 'im proud of you too'#and that the point where im crouching int eh shower sobbing#like i was imagining this whole scene during one of my showers#like right now. im not in the shower but im crying#im in the shower telling myself 'im proud of you. im proud of you. im proud of you. look at how far youve come'#'you have stacks of drawings that are taller than that lil girl. look at you'#well taller cumulatively if you like printed my digital stuff onto paper#oh well. im gonna go blow my nose pssh#this was supposed to be a warmup but im just wasting half an hour crying man#one day ill have my lifechanging moment. for now. ill continue to cry in the shower#doodles#egg king
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sended this to another acc i really like but ill send this here too :p
vendetta!leon with the biggest corruption kink ever and the girl (reader) that lives in the house just next to his, that always make sure to wish him to "have a good day" when she sees him and gets all red when he says it back, that when she bakes something she always make sure to save some to give it to him, and she tries to have a "friendship" with him so bad but he always seems to ignore her
and he does tries to ignore her because he knows he is def not a good man, he knows it so he always try to show to her that he is not a person, but shes just too stupid to realize that to the point that it makes him a little annoyed and worried for her, it still makes him hard lol
i love vendetta leon cause let’s be real he’s the biggest piece of shit alive and he’s an alcoholic so added bonus! i fantasize about him treating me like shit… anyways.
i imagine reader being a bit of a bimbo of some sort. like so dumb in the brain that there’s absolutely no room for sad or depressing or actual real thoughts that would ruin her day. and leon’s the exact opposite. all he thinks about is sad, fucked up shit that would probably make you vomit on the spot. but he likes that about you, your innocence. it makes him a bit sick, realizing he wants to do nothing but take advantage of you and expose you to the dark thoughts he has.
he can’t deny you’re sexy. those short skirts and low cut tops that have your breasts practically spilling out when you wave good morning to him. the crush you have on him is so painfully obvious. leon isn’t used to that. are you his type? not exactly. but he thinks he could have some fun with you.
he doesn’t start getting annoyed until you start leaving shit on his porch. cute notes, food items, weird love letters that look like a middle schooler made them with cute stickers and heart doodles all over. he’s a grown ass adult for christ sake. he rips up the letters, leaves the remnants on the porch for you to see.
you do see it, makes your heart wrench. yet you keep trying. you really, really like him.
in one last attempt at trying to get his full attention, you take over some food to his house, not just leaving it on the porch this time.
leon answers the door with a scowl on his face. he sees the food and your hopeful smile. “come in.” he grumbles, no greeting necessary. it ticks him a bit that you genuinely think you could win him over this way. your heart flutters as you walk in, taking in his messy house, setting the food down on the counter.
“you know, sweetheart. i’m not an easy man to please. yet, here you are…” he trails off.
you’re so nervous, face burning and throat so dry you feel like throwing up. “i-i just.. wanted to be a good neighbor, you know?”
“bullshit.” he responds quickly, makes you flinch slightly. he couldn’t help himself.
“a good neighbor,” he repeats, a dark chuckle following it. “is that really what you think? you think leaving me food and love letters makes you some kind of saint? don’t kid yourself, sweetheart. this isn’t about being a good neighbor. it’s about you wanting something from me. something you can’t seem to get through that empty, pretty little head of yours.”
he enjoys watching your facial expressions. your smile faltering, face turning into uncertainty. he knows he has the power to turn you into anything he wanted. it was too easy. he called you pretty, though!
“you think i’m some prize, some object to be won, don’t you?” he continues. you’re stunned, mouth open slightly, wanting to interject but nothing comes out.
“relax,” he chuckles. “i’ll let you have me. but i want something from you, first.” he says, inching closer to you, trapping you against the counter. his words were not a promise, merely a trick to get you to give yourself up to him. but he probably didn’t even have to “trick you.” one word and you’d be on his knees for him, wouldn’t you?
you nod eagerly, just as predicted. god, it makes him laugh, it makes him hard. how’d he get so lucky? you didn’t even put up a fight. “anything. i’ll do anything.”
those words triggered something in his brain. and you had absolutely no idea what he was going to do to you. he grabs you by the wrist roughly, leading you to his dark bedroom, throwing you on the bed. he starts degrading you, calling you “slut” and commands you to address him as “sir,” or maybe even “master.” (he’s a sick fuck let’s be real, wants you to be his dumb little pet.)
he could see the flicker of uncertainty in your eyes, but you both know you had already given yourself up to him. but that didn’t really matter to him anyway.
he crawls over you, pinning your arms up above your head, kissing at your neck. you could smell the alcohol on his breath as he did so. it made your stomach churn but made your panties wet.
he continues to practically rip your clothes off, muttering things along the lines of “you’re mine now,” “such a pretty little slut,” etc,. every single movement he makes is rough. including spanking, choking, unleashing all his pent up anger, his darkest desires onto you. your pleasure comes second to his.
you’re completely at his mercy, almost like a toy to him. but you like him so much, so you let him :(. you just wanna be his dumb girl.
he ends up fucking you in every single position until you’re a drooling, senseless mess.
not only were you his dumb girl, but you were his slut, his toy, his possession. and in the end, that’s all that mattered to you. at least now, you were finally his.
#sorry if u wanted something cute#romance? never heard of her#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy imagine#leon kennedy x reader#resident evil smut#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy smut
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a message for you
summary: in which soulmates share markings on their skin
characters: diluc, childe, kaeya, thoma
Diluc
doesn’t really do anything about it. as a somewhat solemn figure himself, he understands that appearance is important, and the last thing he wants is to embarrass you in the middle of something serious with some cheesy scribbles
though he doesn’t mind receiving them, given that he doesn’t show that much skin. in fact, he rather anticipates them. sometimes when he’s stuck at work, he’ll roll up his sleeve to see if you’ve left him a message or two
they’re enough to get him through the day
even if he were to write something to you, he’d do it somewhere subtle, like the insides of your upper arms. usually they’re reminders for you to grab lunch or simply ‘miss you’
the only time he won’t hesitate to draw on both your skins is when you get an injury. it could be as small as a paper cut, but diluc will still grab a pen, circle that blooming red line, and leave you an ‘are you alright?’
Childe
he’ll write on his skin whenever he so much as thinks of you, which means pretty much all the time
throughout the day you’ll receive all kinds of messages, from ‘work is boring, i miss you :(’ to ‘OMG i just saw a hilichurl pet a squirrel’
of course, it’s not just words. sometimes he’ll doodle something silly in the centre of your palm (like his face). if he’s sure that you’re just lounging around at home, he may grab a marker and start doing makeup knowing the lines will transfer directly to you
most of the time it ends up with his enemies looking at him with a half puzzled, half amused face
aside from that, he also begins to stay more alert during missions. the thought of indirectly scarring you because of his carelessness or thirst for battles fills him with guilt he can’t quite stomach
Kaeya
exploits this ability with every chance he gets. nothing can stop him from putting his love for you on display, and the fact that the marks show up on both of you just makes it all the better
you’ll be walking down the street when someone hesitantly taps your shoulder and gestures vaguely at your face
now this isn’t a rare occurrence. you’re already muttering under your breath as you find the nearest reflective surface- there it is, a badly drawn peacock head under the corner of your eye, winking and holding a rose in its beak
at the same time kaeya is actually quite a decent painter. sometimes when he’s bored, he’ll sketch the scenery before him: the knights’ headquarters, the tavern, bennett as he runs away from a flock of seagulls. as he draws, you watch the lines appear on the canvas on your skin, and it’s almost like you’re following his train of thoughts
sometimes in the morning, when you have your attention on something else, he throws his arms around you and plants a biggggg kiss on your cheek. for some reason it feels a bit… wet… and sticky-
“did you just-” you rub your face and finds, to your horror, lipstick smudged on your fingers. “kaeya, i swear to barbatos, i’m going to set your wine on fire.”
that does give him quite the fright, but knowing you, it doesn’t really stop him from leaving trails of kisses all over you
Thoma
thoma doesn’t really leave anything for you that often, because he’s worried that they’re ill-timed
what he will write though, are grocery lists. almost every evening, you’ll find a list of products scrawled on your forearm.
it’s not only for convenience, but it’s also an invitation in a sense. he just wants you to add whatever you want him to get for you, whether it be snacks or household items
the first time you found a map of scratches on your arms, you were petrified, thinking that thoma had got into trouble. in the end he had to apologize profusely and explain that he was just trying to befriend some local strays
since then he makes a note to be more careful when he plays with the more feral cats on the streets
on another note, he doesn’t really mind you leaving a little something for him from time to time. anywhere is fine, but he does find his heart glow warmly when you surprise him with sweet comments on his calloused hands. when he closes then into fists, it almost feels like he’s holding a part of you
#genshin x reader#genshin impact#diluc x reader#kaeya x reader#thoma x reader#childe x reader#diluc ragnvindr#kaeya alberich#tartaglia x reader#elfwrites
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Rottmnt Headcanons?? More likely then you think
- Donnie is a percy jackson kid.
- He got the lightning thief from a library trip one day and fell in love
- from that day he was obsessed
- That obsession soon lead into a general mytholgy phase
- Mikey has a habit of drawing on himself
- You will rarely see him not covered in little doodles and drawings
- or paint smudges
- Raph is a really good baker
- He cant cook to save his life. But a plate of brownies? Sign him up
- He is the only brother who hasnt been terminated from the kitchen more then once
- (the first time was an accident and Mikey was sympathetic)
- There is a Leo ban on the kitchen
- Forever remember the kitchen fire of 2017
- Hes only allowed in if he wants to make tea
- Leo can make some pretty banging tea
- Donnie can cook... To an extent Usually to accommodate his own tastes
- He has been banned for weird food concoctions
- and blowing up the microwave
- (which come on mike i fixed it let me back in)
- A good portion of Raphs bandages are for show
- None of his brothers know why he does this
- Aprils mom actually does know about the turtles
- But they dont know that shes know and she doesnt plan to let them know until April and the Bros are ready to tell her
- Donnie met April first
- Then Leo and then she met Mikey and Raph at the same time
- Donnie and Aprils meeting included a school text book, oatmeal cookies and a sewer grate
- Donnie likes oatmeal and raisin cookies
- April doesn't
- They have had heated debates over this
- They are eachothers favorite siblings
- Leo ate soap when he was a tot
- His only excuse was that "it looked good"
- He threw up 20 seconds later and was sick for the next two days
- Splinter was very stressed during that time
- Leo came out first in the family, though everyone kinda knew at that point
- April also came out to, though she thought that the bros had already known and was confused when they said they didn't
- (she literally had pride pins on her bag and she was so confused as to why they didnt notice)
- Raph came out last
- Draxum totally had a thing for Lou Jitsu and is in denial about still having a thing for him even as a rat man
- Donnie collects bottle caps
- Mikey collects those little can caps and steals the colorful monster ones from donnie and leo
- Donnie and Leo have made quite the colorful monster can collection over the years
- Raph is worried over how much they have
- Raph is an avid tea and water drinker
- Though he is also a chocolate milk enthusiast
- He is lactose intolerant
- Its worth it
- Leo is fucking illiterate
- He cant read to save his life
- Its genuinely so bad
- His brothers (Donnie mostly) have offered to teach him
- But he refuses out of spite
- Donnie can recite most all of the fnaf lore
- Mikey and Raph are mlp enthusiasts
- Mikey's fav is Pinkie Pie
- Raphs is Apple Jack and Fluttershy
- Leo was a MCYT kid
- Leo also plays Roblox
- Mikey plays animal jam
- Leo doesnt know the order of the rainbow
- Which is ironic sense-
- Leo is also slightly color blind
- Raph keeps a diary
- His brothers dont know about this
- even if they did a good portion of it is written in Japanese
- Mikey has an on going webcomic with a pretty steady fanbase
- Leo and Donnie read bad Y/N fanfiction together when their bored
- Donnie has written x Reader fanfiction before
- Leo has listened to a recording of a Jupiter Jim, Lou jitsu crossover fic before
- Donnie knows this and keeps it as blackmail
And thats all for now. If I make another one of these ill throw in some more April and actually add some about the Casey's. But thats all for now
#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt#rottmnt april#rottmnt headcanons#rise of tmnt#rise of the tmnt#tmnt 2018#tmnt#headcanon#headcanons#tmnt mikey#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#i love them#rise of the turtles#leonardo#tmnt disaster twins#baja blast
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more terrible no good headcanons for eddie disaster dreamboat munson
I said that if anybody made him too cool I'd have to add more and that's exactly what I'm gonna do babes because I had to scroll for way to long to find him making spagetti-os
(posting again bc it wasn't showing in the tag)
(first post)
-genuinely doesn't know what those stains are. Didn't even know it was stained bc he's had the same fitted sheet on it with one corner tugged off for 8 months and forgot about them since last time
-throws away Tupperware if the stuff in it is too gross
-he's pretty sure that green sour candy counts as a vegetable so he does eat at least 3 a day.
-just. Doesn't ever throw things away. Stupid shit like the backs of band aids and paper straw wrappers and napkins and hooooo boy this has turned into a callout post about myself
-sometimes horseflies fly into his hair and get stuck and he can hear them buzzing around and doesn't necessarily so anything about it right away until it stops
-no room for legs in the front seat of his car that space is reserved for old fast food bags
-buys new underwear instead of doing laundry
-hey why do I keep writing genuinely embarrassing things that I literally do irl. Is this really worth putting myself and the 4 huge bags of laundry I have in my tiny car and all my band aid wrappers on blast. Next I'm gonna write that every surface in eddies house is covered in stacks of hobbies and papers that feel like a goddamn archeological dig every time I clean
-psych he does that too
- ok things that I don't also do so that I don't start having a crisis that makes me a tidier person:
-feeds a family of raccoons that live in an abandoned hunting cabin in the woods
-one time he let one live in his closet for a bit and hoped Wayne wouldn't notice (this may explain some of the stains)
-this boy spills. Everything. He's a hand talker and it doesn't matter if he's holding something.
-the hand talking is also terrifying when in a car he is driving
-never drinks water ever and it stresses ppl out
-every single time he sees somebody he knows in public he will try and sneak up on them to scare them
-wears shoes inside bc he broke glass on the carpet months ago and he doesn't want to vacuum.
-the only place he has to actually sit and do anything I his room is his bed because everything else is covered in stuff
-everything is covered in stuff but every drawer he has is empty
-theres one category of things he owns that is organized absolutely meticulously and idk what it is but he's very proud of it and when he says he's "cleaning his room" it means organizing like band tees alphabetically or sorting minifig painting supplies and everything else stays trashed
-it's a perm and he did it himself in his bathroom 100%
-hair dye stains all over the bathroom from an ill advised look a while back. and maybe a few more times
-doesnt have a compulsive habit to bite his nails he does it bc he can never find the damn fingernail clippers
-notes and doodles. All over his arms
- yknow how when u were in school by the last day you'd have like one pencil and nothing else and u kept a hold of it bc you couldn't find any others?
- eddies been at that point since about half way thru his first senior year. He has one pencil and it is a stub (it is a d.a.r.e. pencil and he does find it funny) with no eraser and it's not sharp and it had a million bite marks on it
-has little stoner burn holes in all his clothes all his sheets his matress his sheets and the seats on his car bc he needs to be more careful and is gonna end up starting a fire someday
-wait that last one was a me thing
-maybe this is how I can embrace my flaws. make eddie do em too. it's cute when he's disgusting
-I no longer have improve myself at all
-puts random food in his pockets for later even though it will get linty. Gonna go ahead and say that I don't do this.
-isn't actually that good at guitar it turns out
-I gotta stop myself now because I know they'll just keep comin but add any you can think of or dm me because every time he gets worse he gets more of my love so like 2 give him a hug reblog 2 spray him with a hose
#eddie munson x reader#stranger things#stranger things x reader#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fic#my writing#eddie munson#eddie munson x oc#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie tag
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[Repost] Do Not Disturb - Miri
Part of this set of WIP Wednesdays
Been wanting to do something like this scene for a while. Did a sketch of it a while ago, but now I'm putting it in writing form!
Raw, unedited writing. Takes inspo from Lesson 30-1 of the OG game. Miri showing signs of illness is meant for foreshadowing for later lessons (her powers are starting to get a little too much for her to handle and this is about where it starts happening)
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"And that was how the Great Celestial War ended-!"
The library had grown suspiciously quiet. No quiet scratching of pens or page flipping. No whispered questions from Luke to Simeon, or even of Miri's foot that had been swinging and sliding on the rug previously. Satan lowered his textbook in his hand, only to be greeted by twin soft snores and Simeon's apologetic grin.
Satan sighed.
"Really?"
"It was a lot to take in for the two of them."
"It's all on the exam! How do they expect to-" Satan sighed again, giving up.
"They tried their best to keep up and that's the most important part." Simeon pointed to the pages of notes the other two had kept while listening to Satan's lecture. Luke's was relatively neat and organized, as was expected of the younger angel. And while her handwriting wasn't exactly neat, Satan smiled at spying some little doodles alongside Miri's notes, like a bunch of trees in the section about the Devildom's beginnings, and a three-legged crow in the margins. Simeon chuckled, catching Satan's attention.
"What? Did you think of something funny?"
"Hmm… how do I explain it?" Simeon looked skyward. "As I was listening to your lecture, I couldn't help thinking…"
"About what?"
"Our history is so violent and bloody. Yet now we're able to gather in peace and study it together like this… it really is amazing."
Simeon then looked fondly at Miri and Luke, both with their heads in the arms on the table, happily in their private dream lands.
"Did you ever imagine we would get to this point?"
Satan shook his head with a smile.
"Hmm… can't say I did, no."
He watched Miri more closely, seeing her breathe in and out gently. Her pink curls cascaded over her shoulders and on the table, reminding him of cotton candy. Satan also couldn't help but notice she was paler than usual, almost to a sickly quality. It was the first he'd seen of it. Had the stress of the exams been getting to her and he never noticed?
He did, however, notice that there was something in Miri's hair that wasn't there before and frowned.
"Hey," he said pointedly at Simeon, "what are you doing?"
"What do you mean," Simeon said innocently, "I was just stroking her hair."
"Don't get so touchy-feely with her."
"Why?"
"Just.. don't, okay?"
"Why? Are you jealous?" Simeon smiled.
"It's nothing like that, but don't touch her."
"Ah, you're just being her protective big brother, then?"
"You're still touching her."
"Her hair is quite soft," Simeon teased, "You should try it once you get the chance."
Satan glared, wanting to pull the angel's hand off of Miri, but didn't want to disturb her rest.
"She… hasn't been feeling well lately, has she?" Simeon asked as Satan's eyes widened.
"How did you-?"
"She feels warm, more than normal." Simeon took off one of his gloves and touched two fingers against her forehead, then her cheek, then her throat.
"Is she sick?"
"Not exactly, at least not yet."
"Maybe the stress of the exams are getting to her? Like you said, it's a lot to take on if it's all new to you."
"Possibly."
Satan then remember when they had all went to the Carnival before the exams started. When Beel had been throwing his food temper tantrum and he, Lucifer, and the others had been drawn into the fight. Miri had looked upset (naturally, they were all being idiots at the time), the pact marks on her body started to glow, somehow escaping her notice. Next thing he knew, she was yelling at all of them to stop fighting and he landed on the ground, hard, unable to move a muscle. Painful groans from his brothers told him they suffered the same fate, five more bodies accompanying him on the floor.
He also remembered hearing a soft something hitting the floor, his eyes trailing to see Miri's new zombie iguana plush she had gotten at the carnival fallen from her grasp. Looking up further, he saw the look of horror on her face, both hands covering her mouth. The ghost waiters surrounded her, praising and applauding her happily, but she took no notice of it, only staring as the six of them laid pinned to the ground.
"Maybe… something else is affecting her?"
"Hm?"
"She's been scared to use the pacts ever since that fight at the Ghost Café. It was such a powerful force that none of us could escape from."
"I remember hearing about that. Solomon said the first time he tried commanding multiple demons at once, his body ached for a while afterwards."
"She didn't look like she was hurting after the fact." All of his brothers definitely were, he remembered that part clearly, but not Miri. "She was just really quiet, not really talking to any of us after the fact. Lucifer kept staring at her, too. It was weird."
"Hmm…" Simeon put his glove back on, lost in thought.
#wip wednesday#krys's adventures in fanfiction#obey me#obey me oc#miriam (obey me mc)#satan (obey me)#simeon (obey me)
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Oh my god the worst thing ever happened.
I tend to draw on my exam's note papers, cause I always wait out the clock vs. Leaving early, I just always assume the notes get thrown away (not checked) or at worst some rando named jeff saw my little doodles for 3 seconds.
I usually draw like, my dog, my cat, a few times I did anatomy studies on deer and other forest critters.
Today I draw on my notes page again, guess what happens after I hand evt. In??
My girl in the exambureau tells me she always hears about my drawings!! That the examinators feel bad throwing them away and always love them and share them around and that she couldn't wait to see what I drew this time.
guess what I drew ALL DAY TODAY
ThrEE EXAMS, GUESS WHAT I DREW
ILL GIVE YOU A HINT
CURSED CAT ALASTOR.
I HAVE DRAWN ROUGHLY TWENTY CURSED CAT ALASTORS, I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE THE FEELING I HAVE RN. ITS CLOSE TO HATRED??? ITS CLOSE TO SHAME
#what do i even do with my life now#i can never show my face at my school again#how do i explain this#hazbin hotel#no fandom#crying screaming faeing up rn
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whenever i go font hunting for a project i have a bad habit of downloading fonts i'll never use just because they delight me, so i wanted to share some of them! im pretty sure literally all of them are public domain so if u like any of them pls download them too
for reference to what a normal font looks like, here's helvetica.
now, lets get into my favorites!
This is LT glockenspiel black. just fucking look at this thing. look at it. i love how they didnt really choose a consistent flourish and just go with everything. it feels almost satirically luxurious. 10/10 i try it in my projects whenever i want a laugh
Baymanat. i've got like seven calligraphic fonts like this ill never use and had to throw one of them in her 9/10 its nice
ANABELA. LOOK AT THAT HALFTONE. LOOK AT THOSE WIBBLY LETTERFORMS. WHAT IS HAPPENING 10/10
droog... if anybody has actually used or seen droog in a project show me. now. i have to see it. not only is it a 10/10 unique font deisgn i'll never use it also has a 10/10 name. thats fucking droog all right
Block Out!!! i actually love this font. it's so unreadable in practice but i dont care i NEED to find a way to use it. its so comitted to its gimmick it doesnt half ass any letterform i love it 10/10
monogram fonts are NOT supposed to be used this way but i dont care. look at this. painful. how are you even supposed to use monogram fonts anyway? 10/10
festa!! found this one just recently, it has such futuristic fantasy energy. it just borders on annoyance because of the mixture of circle sizes. never seen a font gimmick like it before 9/10
flegrei. why are there three super thin lines in this entire font and only three 9/10
garish monde. dear gods if i ever need a glitchy eroded font this is what ill use but i really and truly never have 9/10
graphic attitude. this font looks terrible if you do anything longer than a single word but im really really fond of it 10/10
and now we get into kingthings!! this is kingthings facetype, found this through another tumblr post abt it. kingthings was (maybe still is but i dont think so) a super profilic typeface designer with a lot of really weird stuff. im a huge huge fan. they also included a txt file with their fonts that includes a short description of each one and its adorable. here's what they had to say abt facetype.
Kingthings Facetype
I made this font having thought of the name - maybe not the usual way to go about font design. It is based upon Kingthings Exeter and can be used to embellish that font or just as decorated capitals. I enjoyed making this font and it was one of the quickest to do - i just got completely absorbed by the project. I hope you enjoy this daft font!
Kingthings Serifique UL wide. ridicoulous. the flourishes always were a little awkward but on the UL wide theyre obscene. 10/10
Kingthings Inkydinky
I am making a font called Kingthings Serifique (well, that's what it's called this morning) - I got side tracked - again! I was filling and testing fountain pens for the Charity Shop in which I work… Mother always said I'm a filthy Herbert. Doesn't a little Ink go a long way?
Kingthings spirogyra. 10/10
Kingthings Spirogyra
I doodle you know…I remember with wonder, Biology lessons at 'big' school, with Microscopes, and a filamentous pond weed called Spirogyra. There were spirals in it! and a nucleus like a star! and then 35 years later (or so), I doodled Kingthings Spirogyra idly watching TV.
kingthings sheepishly. 10/10 perfection
kingthings tendrylle 11/10 one of my faovirte unusable fonts in the entire world its so amazing in every way
kingthings widow- another 11/10. kevin you are truly my favorite typographer in the whole entire universe
kidskas- ive posted about this font before. look at it again. you need to. its amazing. perfection 11/10
labryinth NF. when in my life will i use this font? no idea. do i fucking love it with my entire heart? yes. look at the curves using half circles to keep the weight. its got two gimmicks and it sticks to them. 10/10
LOSTAR MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY. all my work has been to legibility focused to use this yet but once i get a project thats more whimsical you fucking know who im trying first 10/10
middle cove beach rocks. 10/10 this font fills me with love i dont think ill ever use it but it has my whole heart
milka aged! i love how soft and warm this font is (: 9/10
mister loopy. when i talk about fonts fuckin commiting to their gimmick, this is what i mean. look at this. this is not a font you just use for a project this is a font you build a project around 10/10
misty candy. 10/10 probably the most disturbing font i have i love how it looks like pre-chewed gum
ocean view initials. 10/10. exactly what it is
tuscan expanded. i love expanded fonts so much. i have actually used this font before and it is perfect for one very specific purpose and thats it
pesagi lemu regular. hate this. 10/10
ponderosa std medium. this makes me laugh out loud 10/10
popstars!! this font is the reason i wanted to make this list its so delightful 10/10
RABENK. ABSOLUTELY UNREADABLY IN PRACTICE BUT HAS ENERGY LIKE NO OTHER. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO THE X. 11/10
i have like four more but i hit tumblrs image limit so i'll be back.
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so like its a role swap where lucio is the apprentice and im the count of vesuvia
i may or may not be uh planning out all the chapters for each book like its formatted in game uhhhhhh
ill copy and paste what i told haru vvv
OKAY MY AU
so lucio takes the place of the player/apprentice obvi while im the count
my character was born in a swamp but instead of running away, they made a deal with a demon to help get rid of their parents. it somewhat worked, they were able to kill their dad, but they failed when trying to kill their mom so then they ran away
did a bunch of odd jobs like in their actual backstory and became like a wandering musician/artist (they dont use magic btw). they came across the former count of vesuvia and were like "whoa bro you should let me follow you guys as you wage war and stuff i got some cool music and doodles" then ended up being a good war strategist resulting in count spada choosing them to be the next count when he died. during one battle they got shot by an arrow and had to get their arm amputated (they were upset about that one since a lot of their hobbies required two arms lol)
anyway then they become count. theyre a pretty good count, but most of their decisions were either to just please the citizens or save face (literally throws parties just to use the masquerade aspect to hide from said parties) and a lot of their actions were very passive, favoring public opinion over individuals
then the plague happened. everyone including them panicked. a lot of poor decisions were made. then they got the plague and then they doubled down and freaked out even more. made some deals, did a little ritual, then DIED had a little oopsie. now haunts the castle as a...goat? cat? idk i havent decided yet
AND THIS IS JUST THE BACKSTORY. i should come up with how the route would go
also my character's design as count (changed it a bit actually but close enough):
ill say more after you read all this lol
OKAY, YES!!! :D
just the backstory is SO DANG GOOD, MY GUY!!! ooh, I'm really liking the sounds of this, and it could lead some REALLY cool places!!!
and that character design?? Y E S
very very good, even just from that little bit so far!!
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your art is cool asf especially your yume stuff it looks nice as hell and you're braver than most for posting it🫡 keep up the good work fellow innovade fan
i woke up to this ask and its so sweet 😭😭😭 made my day before it even began. but in true fashion to how i answer asks, ill say 5 billion things in reply, and also jus hope u wont mind </3
i think everyone should post their yumes if they make it, it always makes me happy to see it if i randomly stumble across some of it in whichever tags or simply just in recommended 🙏 though i also understand the frustration with it. initially i was also unsure if the gundam fandom was alright w these things . i just got here like a month ago 😭 but also if the fandom werent okay with them, i wouldve simply not drawn them either. i have a habit of posting every single piece i draw, especially here compared to tumblr if its just a small little sketch or w/e, so if i dont post yume for one thing, i dont even draw it on the sides its just nonexistent
thing is i also wouldn't have focused on drawing so much either, but im very busy right now and can only fit in little doodles like these every now and then (which if i weren't to do, id jus have 0 posts anyway in this timeperiod. and i supposed its better to post than nothing) and also my bday's coming up so erm 👍 i took it upon myself to also draw some little things that make /me/ happy first and foremost. for once. (1)
^ and about this, im literally not even sure sometimes about these which to post as yume or not 😭 kinda just throw in a little dart like will it fall on yume or not?? i think all stuff ive posted so far can be taken as either platonic or romantic (with little exceptions to maybe some text besides one of them). and im not even sure if id tag both with yume </3 i kinda just go 'hmm well from the eyes outside maybe thisd be taken more as romantic than not. # yume. send tweet' (< even if i didnt draw it with that intent)
BUT ALAS the 60 km block of text aside. thank you for the ask again, and 🫡 fellow innovade fan
#the sumi rambles#does it show i just finished writing a long article the day before? by how much text i got outta me rn? 😭
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⭐ -> star! ships. send your sexuality, gender, and a description of yourself and what fandoms you're in. ( as long as i'm in said fandom lol ) ill ship you with 1 or 2 characters!
i have long wavy black hair and dark chocolate brown eyes. i like spring a lot! especially because flowers start blooming around that time and i think flowers are lovely. i also really like to doodle. it’s fun, it’s quick, and it’s relaxing!! but art in general is one of my passions. also music is almost always playing in the background whenever i do things. and i really love rom coms and romance novels!! idc if it’s really cheesy, i just think it’s cute! i definitely believe in true love, even if i don’t think i might be able to meet mine. my favorite color is maroon! i’m also a virgo and i value my grades a lot and that can spiral in the wrong direction at times. i’m also short, 5”1 to be exact, and people tell me that i have small hands. i love high fives though, so i get that comment quite a lot. my love language is either touch or words of affirmation. i’m leaning towards words of affirmation but touch does help keep me grounded. i occasionally wear rings but i always my earrings and this one necklace. and i’d like to think that i’m a nice person! i really like to explain things to people if they don’t understand a topic and i’m pretty good at it too. i have really high expectations for myself and sometimes if i don’t meet that expectation i breakdown. i tend to cry easily, it’s not okay and is something that i’m working on. i’m bisexual and i’m in harry potter, marvel, and outer banks! it’s fine if you can’t do this and i’m sorry for writing so much!
ily jules! congratulations on the milestone and take care xx
Hello angel :)) ily more, and you take care as well. i hope you enjoy!!
From the Harry Potter Universe, I ship you with...
James Potter!
(depending on your image of James <3)
𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 would totally poke a little fun at your height, but he's made it clear he finds it endearing and he doesn't wish to upset you if he says something mean. Whenever he sees flowers, he thinks of you! While in school, James would always admire any and all nature forms with 'i know yasmine would adore this <333". Absolutely 100% will do/help you with homework, depending on the subject; James feels bad whenever he sees you cry, and he'll do anything to keep you from crying if he can help it :((( <333. Praises and gives you feedback about everything (they don't call him James motormouth Potter for nothing smh). Loved holding your hand because of how small they are and its a way for him to calm down. Will drop everything to make sure you're okay, it doesn't matter where you both are at. Loves when you ask for his input on jewelry and will spoil you rotten 🥰
(i'm only on season one of obx, so im so sorry if this is bad!)
From the Outer Banks universe, I ship you with:
Kai Cerrara!
Ok but 𝐊𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐚 would probably love doing your hair because "it's literally so pretty, shut up!" Dancing to music on the beach or in a boat is a must, Kie definately tells you something like "ur legally required to sing cheesy love songs with me while we shimmy and dance around falling further in love with each other" idk I wasn't there 🤷. Kiara lovesss when you give her your random doodles/sketches :'( and would never throw them away. Asks you questions about things you like and know a lot about so she can hear your pretty voice explain things to her <3. I HAVE A BLURB IDEA: snuggling with Kie and her resting on your shoulder while you both read a romance novel or smth 😕❤️❤️ Would also get matching sets of like earrings, bracelets, necklaces, etc. Loves complimenting you :)
From the MCU, i ship you with...
Yelena Belova!
𝐘𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐚, for one, adores any and all piercings you have- specifically ear piercings. I feel like Yelena also would love braiding your hair and matching outfits and jewelry with you. Watching romance/comedy movies are a must, since Yelena missed out on... a lot when she was brainwashed. Loveloveloves any and all affection you show her, and would be someone to give you random high fives whenever you do something you're proud of. Yelena would often buy small plants (pink polka dot, succulents, anything really) she thinks you'd like (but small enough to be kept out of Fanny's reach). If you both were bored one day and you were laying on the couch, Fanny asleep on your lap. "Wanna watch a movie, detka?" Yelena asked, flopping on your opposite. Immediately a large smile spread across Yelena's face at the speed of which yasmine's stetchbook and pencil were discarded and replaced with the remote. "You choose," Yelena requested, pulling the shared fluffy maroon blanket up to her neck.
Please keep in mind this is only my second ship, so I apologize if this is bad!! ❤️
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I’ve been thinking about this since the finale, and I had to write the thing. Especially since Lucy does have a The Boys verse, and even more so now that I have a Black Noir muse.
The first time Lucy had seen him in person she was a teenager. Her mother had been hired by Vought to play piano at one of their charity galas, and they’d invited Lucy to come with her. She and her mother spent weeks sewing a gown for Lucy to wear. The silver fabric shimmered like a diamond and the corseted top made her feel like an adult, while sheer sleeves ran down her arms. She felt regal, and beautiful. Her cascade of brown curls were pinned up, and her mother did her makeup for her.
While her mother played piano, Lucy got to mingle around the room. She tried not to come off out of place, wanting to look as if she belonged there. She was polite and friendly, and did her best not to overstep any boundaries among the company’s big wigs. After the dinner part of the event, Dharma was able to take a break from the piano to eat with the other vendors that were working. That’s when Lucy noticed him.
He stuck out amongst all of the evening wear, dressed head to toe in his combat gear. Of course Lucy knew who he was, how couldn’t she? His face...or mask, was everywhere. She was surprised when he sat at the piano her mother had just vacated, and began to play. Lucy was entranced as the delicate notes filled the room. She would’ve never guessed that such an imposing figure would have such gentleness.
He was finished before Dharma returned, and Lucy was surprised once more to find him standing in a corner by himself, presumably watching the crowd. “You’re not one for fancy parties either, huh?” She waited, no response. She didn’t expect one. “You play wonderfully,” she complimented him. He turned towards her. She stiffened slightly, trying not to show anything other than friendliness. She assumed he was staring at her through the mask. He gave her a small nod and walked away. Lucy didn’t see him again the rest of the night, but she assumed he was there, in the shadows.
The years that followed, it often felt as if someone was following her or watching her. Especially at her mother’s funeral. She stood there by the grave, listening to the priest as the coffin was lowered. It felt as if eyes bore into her back. That night, when she returned home, she found the bouquet of handpicked wildflowers tied together with string and a handwritten card: My condolences, Earving.
Earving? she questioned, uncertain of who that could be. It was sweet though, and she smiled for what seemed like the first time since her mother had grown ill. She took the flowers inside and gave them water.
When she couldn’t get a loan to start her shop, the money she needed, in cash, was delivered to her unexpectedly in a manila envelope. A scrap of sketch paper had a doodle of her surrounded by flowers and little birds and a single word at the bottom: Earving.
When she seen him in person the second time, enough time had passed that she would’ve thought that what had been a core memory for her, would’ve just been a fleeting moment for him. Yet there he was. She’d went outside into the back alley to throw out the trash before she closed up her shop and found him lying on the ground. He’d been wounded bad, and Lucy wasn’t entirely sure if he’d be okay. But she knew she couldn’t leave him out here, not like this. “Earving?” she asked. His head turned, just enough to look at her, and she knew. “Come on, lets get you inside,” she did her best to get her arms around him and help him up. No matter how strong she was, her small body wouldn’t have been big enough to support him though. Fortunately, he seemed capable of walking and pushed himself up off the ground.
Lucy ushered him into the back of the shop and urged him to sit on a couch in her office. “I’ll be right back,” she hurried into the bathroom and came back with a first aid kit. “What happened to you?” she asked, as she looked at the wound in his stomach, though she knew he wasn’t likely to answer. “You’ll have to take this off so I can clean your wound and wrap it up properly,” she told him.
He stared at her for a moment. Lucy could only assume he was debating whether or not to do as she suggested. “If you don’t want to, I can do my best to clean it anyways, it just won’t be as good.” As soon as the words left her mouth, he’d already begun to remove his gear and pulled the shirt off, yet his mask remained. Lucy was careful as she cleaned the wound, her face twisting as she seen just how bad it was. He probably needed stitches, and Lucy didn’t have a needle or thread in the shop. She took out the roll of gauze and began wrapping it around him, making sure it was secure.
“Who did this to you?” she muttered as she worked, more to herself than to him. He was the Silent Knight, the last thing she expected was a response. He pointed to a picture Lucy had framed on the wall, a picture of her mom standing outside her childhood home. Lucy’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment, then it occurred to her: the house...home... “Homelander?” she asked, astonished. Black Noir nodded slightly. “Oh no,” she breathed. With everything Starlight had been saying about ‘The World’s Greatest Superhero’ and her own twisted visions, Noir confirmed her fear. Carefully, Lucy hugged him, patting his shoulder and attempting to comfort him in the way her mother would her after a nightmare. “Everything is going to be okay,” Lucy whispered, though she didn’t have the confidence to back up her words.
#drabble#do we still call them drabbles?#i haven't written one in ages#my precious baby#who could very well be the same age as my dad#but is still my precious baby#and i won't hear anything negative about him#isn't dead#he can't be#kripke is wrong and a liar if he says otherwise#also follow my black noir#bustcr
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Cassandra Eileen Johnston
Birth date: June 13
Physical appearance
Faceclaim: Rachel Hilson
Gender: cis female
Height: 5'0
Build: thin, athletic
Eye color: brown
Glasses or contacts?: she wears contacts
Distinguishing marks/scars: a half moon shaped scar she got when she fell riding bikes with birdie when they were kids.
Hair color: black
Type of hair: very curly.
Hairstyle: natural and pulled back or in braids. it just depends on the month
Clothing style: layers. flannels and ripped jeans and beanies. converse she’s doodled all over and oversized hoodies
Makeup: heavy eyeliner and a darker lip
Personality
Good personality traits: loyal, perceptive, artistic, nice
Bad personality traits: overprotective, impatient
Mood character is most often in: observant, quiet
Sense of humor: she’s really bad at telling jokes because she doesn’t change her tone, so most people don’t realize she’s joking.
Character’s greatest joy in life: feeling like she belongs.
Character’s greatest fear: it’s hard to be afraid when you don’t feel like you have much to begin with
Character is most at ease when: when she’s alone. she really, really cares about the people she’s been with since she was a kid but that stresses her out. life is so much easier when you only have to worry about yourself.
Most ill at ease when: people express that they care about her because her trauma makes it hard for her to trust that.
Enraged when: she feels like someone she cares about is in danger or being messed with.
Depressed or sad when: she doesn’t see a point in dwelling on the past. she’s been through a lot, but it is what it is. and she’s *fine*
Priorities: keeping birdie safe, despite the fact that she makes a real go at getting herself killed at least twice a week.
Life philosophy: no one can disappoint you if you don’t let anyone in.
Greatest strength: she’s very observant, unless it’s feelings directed at her.
Greatest vulnerability or weakness: she doesn’t trust that people care about her. she feels like she’s on her own.
Childhood
Hometown: Philadelphia, PA
Type of childhood: Cassie doesn’t remember life before the program, not really. There are flashes of a family, of a mother who had her eyes or a father throwing her up in the air and catching her again. But she doesn’t know if those are real memories or if her mind has filled in the gaps, knowing what she should have.
She was three when they died in a car accident. The handlers at the program told her that they *rescued* her, that they took her from a social worker’s office and gave her a purpose. They told her that they saw her potential before she was even writing her own name. It was bullshit. They saw a kid with no connections, that no one would miss and they took her to fill a quota.
Childhood? What childhood. She’d never been able to be a kid, not really. Not when she was busy preparing for a job she never asked for. Not when she had never once been someone’s priority, not when she’d never known what it meant to have people love you.
Pets: she used to name the spiders that lived in the cobweb filled corners at the program.
core childhood memory: Stealing her last name from a book she liked because she didn’t know what she’d actually be called.
Dream job: She just kind of wanted to be yeeted into space and left for the aliens to find.
Religion: none
Present
Current location: New York City, New York
Currently living with: Birdie, Gwen, and Nora
Pets: she’d still name any spiders she came across, but Birdie’s messy ass hired a maid. It was a little too clean.
Religion: none
Sexuality: lesbian
Politics: politics were for people with a future. Did she have one beyond this?
Occupation/education: Sky Kid/Engineering Major
Mode of transportation: If it were up to her she’d roller blade everywhere.
Family
Parent one: Unknown
Relationship with them: deceased by the time she was 3.
Parent two: Unknown
Relationship with them: deceased by the time she weas 3.
Siblings: Unknown
Relationship with them: She’s alone. She’s so fucking alone. There isn’t a single person on the planet for her to connect to -- and if she lets herself dwell on it for too long it gets hella deep. Is she even real? Does her personhood depend on those ties? Is she more fucked up than she realized since she never built those connections?
Favorites
Color: a light purple
Music: anything from showtunes to gangster rap it doesn’t matter
Food: arby’s curly fries and a vanilla milkshake
Film: psycho
Drink: coffee
Form of entertainment: reading about alien sightings, painting, seeing musicals with teddy
Most prized possession: her earliest memory is playing in the yard at the program. she was so much younger than most of the kids so she sat in the grass and watched them all play around her, ignoring her. but that was okay. everyone ignored her. she remembered digging in the grass, only stopping when she found this pretty red rock with gold streaks through it. it’s so stupid but she still has that stupid rock and it grounds her in a way she can’t really understand.
Habits
Hobbies: defacing sneakers, looking for aliens, seeing plays, saving birdie from herself.
Plays a musical instrument?: guitar
Plays a sport?: no
How she would spend a rainy day: playing her guitar and listening to her favorite ufo podcast
Spending habits: why tf is she saving? she’s probably not going to live past 30 anyway in her line of work. she might as well enjoy her life the best she can.
Smoking/drinking/drugs?: not really
Extremely skilled at: martial arts, guitar
Extremely unskilled at: seeing that people care about her!!!
Nervous tics: chewing on the inside of her cheek
Usual body posture: she has decent posture
Traits
Optimist or pessimist? pessimist
Introvert or extrovert? Introvert
Daredevil or cautious? daredevil. what’s the point of being cautious?
Logical or emotional? logical
Leader or follower? leader
Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? like an organized mess
Prefers working or relaxing? prefers work
Confident or unsure of herself? she thinks she’s confident but there’s some deep, trauma-based insecurities she’s not ready to deal with yet.
Animal lover? anything that shows her love and affection makes her a little uncomfortable
Relationships with others
Opinion of other people in general: people are okay, but she’s inclined to distrust everyone.
Does the character hide their true opinions and emotions from others?: haha yeah never
Most important person in character’s life: she feels like she’s the only person she’s ever been able to count on, so she’d say herself. but all the guards and birdie and teddy are all super important to her.
Best friend/s: teddy
Dating experience: she likes sex. she will sleep with any pretty girl that’ll give her a chance. but she’s never had a relationship. love isn’t for people like her.
Romancing: not for people like her
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how about 17 and 24? what inspires you and how do you deal with art block?
Long post warning.
Art block...
I don't actually get art block, which is probably a combination of neurodivergence and drawing every day for the last 3 years
I wrote an entire tutorial about how to do that, but didn't feel like illustrating it. Would people want to read it even without visuals?
Maybe... I'll just start rambling.
There's a couple different types of art block, and it's really just a philosophy puzzle to get past them. I'm going to assume that the things I think of slow days, or art mud, is a milder form of art block and work through that.
Art block is a symptom, not a disease. You probably have something deep inside that you don't want to face, or don't know how. Sometimes you need to discover the cause, sometimes just power through.
Method 1: Rest
Let yourself just Exist. The act of consuming art is part of the process. Watching shows and playing games, taking a break and going gardening or focus on school. This is what you need for burnout-induced art block.
Method 2: Action
I always choose action, sometimes it means a tiny 2 min sketch per day. Ugly or super simplified. As long as I don't stop moving.
Toss everything. Start every piece thinking you will throw it away.
The act of drawing moves you forward; pinning it to the fridge does not. Don't work things until they are perfect. Work them until they are there.
Art block causes and solutions:
- No Inspiration
Not sure what to draw, nothing seems appealing. Art won't come out like it used to.
Do studies from life or photos. Sketch, paint, digital, traditional, doesn't matter. Rocks, fruit, figure drawing, landscapes, buildings, anything.
Study and copy professional's work. Old masters are best, like rubens, michalangelo (only his men tho) etc because they will teach you anatomy while you work. If you copy someone with a lot of flaws, you will repeat those flaws.
Trace to learn, not to earn. Trace photography and art from anyone you want. Don't post it unless you have the artist's permission or they are dead, whichever comes first. This is strictly work for yourself, on yourself. It's not about the finished drawing.
Find an artist with a fun style and try converting stuff into their style. Don't make that your new style though and especially don't start selling it. Your style is a chimera of everyone you love, not a clone of one person.
Take blurry photos. You don't need a fancy camera or good skills or beautiful subjects. Doing studies from your own photos can spark life into your workflow.
Make challenges for yourself. Randomly generate things to combine. Try fusing characters! Don't try to make it look good, just be fun.
Doodle patterns, swirls, lines, random stuff. Try looking up art warmups and doing some of those.
- Everything Sucks
You finally see how bad you are. Or somehow you got worse. Every piece is a fight and you spend hours trying to get something right only for it to be stiff and disgusting and STILL wrong.
Why are you trying to draw good? It's enough just to draw.
Accept that your art is bad. Every artist can see flaws in their work. Your problem is that those flaws outweigh anything remotely worthwhile and hurt to look at.
So what? You're in a period of growth, not a period of production. Keep that wonky second eye. Let them have hot dog fingers.
Show everyone! Show no one! No piece of art can ever be a reflection of the artist. Not their worth, not their skill. The only thing your art says about you is "Held and moved a pen for a bit."
Make bad art. It's ok. Most of the time, the pressure to perform and get things Right is what made them wrong in the first place. Relax.
- No Motivation
The #1 killer of artists everywhere. On some level you think you should draw, on every other level you think you should stay in bed.
You are not lazy. You wouldn't have read this far in a post about art block if you were lazy. You wouldn't CALL it art block if you were lazy. Laziness is wishing you didn't have to do anything. A block is wishing you were doing something. If you think you can namecall Yourself into productivity again, you're wrong and You need to unionize so that you don't treat You like that anymore.
Consider Mental Illness. Losing interest in something that brought you joy can be a symptom of depression. I know it seems obvious, but if you're waiting for a sign that it's "bad enough," it's bad enough. Seek care if you have the means. Forgive yourself if you already know this.
Selfcare. Examine yourself for neglect. Nutrition, exercise, enrichment, social need, and sleep are all part of the art process. Eat three meals and sleep 8 hours. That's your gaymer fuel. You deserve it, I promise. Depriving yourself of your needs will make your blocks worse, not kick you into making them better.
Identify potholes. Sketchbook falling apart? Tablet cord frayed? Half your pencils missing? Chair uncomfortable? Desk hard to reach? There's a lot of things that you tell yourself to work around and get over. Just because you CAN workaround something, doesn't mean you SHOULD. A difficult work environment can cause secret dread deep inside that you don't recognize and just think you're lazy. What you think of as "no motivation" might actually be "I don't want to deal with my tablet disconnecting every time I move it wrong and I have to wiggle it for a few seconds to make it work again." These little things are like potholes in the road. Sure you CAN still drive through them, but eventually you're going to look up and realize you haven't voluntarily left the house in weeks.
Repair potholes and roadblocks. You might feel bad about buying a new pencil, headphones, tablet, car, etc because technically the old one works if you hustle. But if you're running into so many potholes you've ground to a halt, it doesn't Actually work anymore, does it? Invest, save up, request, and require working equipment and suitable conditions. This stuff isn't just cushy privilege, it's an investment in yourself and your art. You are worth the effort it takes to clear the way.
If you can't afford reliable (reliable! not perfect or luxurious) equipment, then say it. If cardboard is all you can afford, draw on cardboard. But know that you deserve canvas, and one day you might be able to make the jump. Acknowledge that sometimes, if you don't have it in you to smear burned twigs on wet cardboard, the problem isn't motivation, but opportunity.
- Haven't Drawn in So Long
A unique type of art block that self perpetuates. The thought of starting again is so stressful you can't do it. Or maybe you'll do it tomorrow. Yeah. Tomorrow for sure.
Face your fears. Are you ashamed of your lack of drawing? Are you anthropomorphizing your paper and thinking it's going to judge you, like "oh NOW you come back >:/" I internalize voices I hear and project them onto other people, concepts, locations, and inanimate objects. Your paper, computer, WIPs folder.... none of that is judging you.
Reframe your WIPs. Do you feel shame when you see "unfinished" projects? Why? Who says you MUST bring everything you start to Finish? You don't have to. A sketch is a finished art piece; it's called a sketch! If a sketch is a fully realized creation, pages that are half colored, 75% lined, or partially rendered are all fully realized creations too. Unless paid otherwise, art is done when you're done working on it.
Lower the stakes. Draw a chibi or grab some crayons. Get messy and slowly ease yourself back into the flow over the course of a couple days. It's fine.
Get a buddy! Find an art meme, do an art trade, get a study subject, or just wing it. Drawing art alongside someone can help you get past that block.
Pretend you never stopped. Don't think about the gap, how long it's been, or rustiness. As far as anyone knows, you drew the mona lisa yesterday and didn't break a sweat. Today, you drew a starfish on your hand with a gel pen. Keep up that streak, good job!
Just keep drawing. Make a goal to do one sucky drawing per day on the back of a napkin. Don't make up for missed days, just pretend they didn't happen. Who's going to judge you? The calendar? That's pieces of paper; it doesn't have an opinion. Draw a cat on it. Done. Keeping up the momentum is a great way to prevent art blocks in the future.
TLDR: Draw imperfectly and toss it. Selfcare is king. Draw often and don't judge yourself.
Art is a process, not a product.
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Angel Sent From Up Above
Anniversary Request Special
Synopsis: Hyunjin, a new guardian angel, has fallen in love with a human. His human’s girlfriend, to be precise. Angel AU, background college AU and skater AU.
Warning: violence
Word Count: 8.3k
Pairing: fem!reader x guardian angel!Hyunjin; fem!reader x human!Jeongin
“Is she healed now?” Hyunjin asks the moment Jisung flies in. He knows Jisung is probably exhausted from keeping maladies away from you, but he needs the answer now. “Is her flu gone?”
“Yeah.” Jisung’s wings are tinged gray with ruin, but he keeps them on display for all the other guardian angels to see as he walks past them. They are proof that he has been doing his duty. They’ll return to white soon enough anyway. “Your human’s her boyfriend. Why didn’t you try to check through him? He visited a few times even though she told him not to.” Jisung sighs and shakes his head. “What an idiot. He’s going to get sick himself.”
“He hasn't visited recently, so I haven’t been able to check through him. The Archangel’s forbade me going to Earth unless it was something serious. I think he’s worried I'm spending too much time with humans.”
Jisung shakes his head. “I think he’s worried that he’s going to have to Seungmin you.”
“I'm not going to get expelled.”
Jisung shrugs, and ruin falls from his wings like ash. “You better watch out. You checked up on her too much last time she got sick, so he's probably trying to make sure you won't abandon your human. He's banished people for less. Case in point: Seungmin.”
“She's important to Jeongin, so she's important to me."
Jisung sighs. “Sometimes I think you’re more protective of her than I am.”
He says it as a joke, but Hyunjin knows it’s the truth. He cares deeply about you, maybe even more than his own human, but he will never say that last part aloud.
Hyunjin used to believe that becoming a guardian angel was the best thing that ever happened to him. All of his afterlife, he had wanted to be promoted, to be granted the pure white wings and the crown of sun rays. Regular angels had wings and halos but never white wings and golden halos; silver and silver was the “regular” combination.
Watching over a human was considered the highest honor an angel could receive, and everyone clamored to gain the attention of the Archangel. Hyunjin was not immune. He worked as a messenger for years, delivering even the most inane notes between the higher ups. He endured the attacks, verbal and sometimes physical, and kept his mouth shut. Eventually, the Archangel recognized his efforts, and before dawn broke on Earth, Hyunjin was named the new guardian angel of a baby boy, Yang Jeongin.
“You will protect him. You will guide him,” the Archangel said. “He is your responsibility now and yours alone. Do you understand?”
From Heaven, Hyunjin could only look at the wet, wrinkled face of his human. His human. “I understand.”
Then the Archangel flew off, and Hyunjin flew to Earth for the first time to meet the baby. No one noticed him as he phased through the hospital walls nor as his giant wings folded back. Only Jeongin would be able to see his guardian angel.
“Hello there, little one,” he whispered to the swaddled baby. The boy was fast asleep, and Hyunjin gently stroked his face. “I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Hyunjin, your official guardian angel. I’ll always be nearby now, and I’ll always make sure you’re safe. Sometimes you won’t be able to see me, but I’ll always be watching over you. I promise.”
Jeongin stirred awake and stared back at Hyunjin. Two sets of eyes blinked at each other, one full of curiosity and one full of tenderness.
“Go back to sleep,” Hyunjin said. He drew his hand over the baby’s face, and Jeongin’s eyes fluttered shut. “Sweet dreams, little one.”
Guardian angels talked about their humans like parents, bragging about how gifted they were and sharing complaints about what unbelievable thing they did the other day. Hyunjin mostly did the latter. Jeongin was an adventurous child, which was just a nice way of saying that he liked to play with danger. Hyunjin often had to fly in to save him or to redirect the threat somewhere else. The other angels joked that Hyunjin stayed on Earth more than Heaven sometimes. He didn’t mind though. Even with his human’s shortcomings, Hyunjin adored him. He watched from above as Jeongin said his first words, attended his first day of kindergarten, and got into his first fight.
“He’s a troublemaker,” Minho observed.
Minho was a guardian angel as well, but he tended to lurk on the outer edges of the realm as the other angels avoided him for a reason Hyunjin hadn’t figured out yet. Hyunjin liked him well enough and treated him like a mentor, sometimes a friend.
“Hey, you’re not one to talk. Your human started a black market of candy at school.”
Minho shrugged. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”
Jeongin didn’t end up growing up into a troublemaker, to Hyunjin’s relief. The impulsive streak was still there, but he utilized his judgement more now. There were no car crashes or cases of alcohol poisoning, and when Jeongin asked out girls, it was with daisy bouquets and a suggestion to get lunch. Hyunjin slowly stopped making routine trips to Earth and chose to view Jeongin from the comfort of Heaven. It was there that Hyunjin noticed you.
“I think she’s upset with him,” Jisung abruptly says. “She cried after a video call with him, so if your human starts acting strangely, that’s why.”
The news makes Hyunjin stop mid-step, and he turns to his friend. “She cried? What? What did she cry about?”
“I don’t know. I was too busy trying to lower her temperature. Can you believe that she almost hit—”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“I just got back! There is no ‘earlier!’ Besides, we aren't allowed to interfere in anything that isn't dangerous. Heartbreak, if this is even what this is, is temporary."
“Humans do drastic things for love.” The movies has seen while watching Jeongin have told him that much.
“Which we will attend to when it happens. You’re a new guardian; you’ll understand them better over time. Not everything is life-threatening, fragile as they are.”
Hyunjin turns away from Jisung and glances down at Earth. The clouds part, and all of the brick buildings of the university rush towards his eyes as he focuses on Jeongin. He’s asleep at his desk, his lamp still burning bright above him. How long has it been since the video call? Or perhaps he’s just tired from the events of his day. But he looks so small and vulnerable in his chair. Jeongin isn’t fragile — the amount of situations he has gotten out of covered in bruises and blood is astronomical — but he is mortal.
“But she loves him,” Hyunjin softly says, “and he loves her.”
“Exactly. Humans fight over small things all the time, and this is one of those times.” Jisung places a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder to placate him. “Trust me.”
“... I trust you.”
“Good. I need to rest, but we can catch up and see what stupid things they do after.”
The moment Jisung flies off to the rest area, Hyunjin goes against the Archangel’s orders and flies to your apartment. When he peers inside your bedroom window, he spots you sitting in bed in the dark, your phone screen illuminating your face. He phases inside and sits at your desk chair, resting his forearms at the top rail. You can’t see him, but he wishes that you could.
You mindlessly scroll through messages, sniffling every few seconds. Whether it’s from your crying or your illness, he doesn’t know. He can’t hand you a tissue or tell you comforting things or hug you like Jeongin can. When you wrap your blanket tighter around your shoulders, he wraps his wings around himself as well.
Suddenly you throw your phone beside you and let out a heavy sigh. “It can’t get any worse than this,” you say to yourself.
Hyunjin waits for you to say more, but you only stare at the ceiling with blank eyes. He can’t compel you to talk; only Jisung can, but he’s not here. So instead, Hyunjin knocks over the glass of water on your bed when you shift into a more comfortable position.
“Of course it can,” you sigh again and blot as much water as you can with your tissues. You pull another one out of the box with more force than necessary and furiously dab your sheets. “First I get sick, then I miss a homework deadline that I can’t make up because my professor lost his heart thirty years ago along with his hair, then my boyfriend breaks up with me for like no reason, apparently I have an exam tomorrow, and now I’ve spilled water all over my bed, so I can’t even sleep. Thank you, universe. I really needed this.”
He immediately regrets his decision.
“Worst freaking week of my life,” you mumble as you throw away the wet tissues. Hyunjin almost reaches out for your arm when you pass by, but he retracts it just in time.
When you climb back into bed, you draw your blanket up to your chin and begin murmuring numbers. They come out calm and even at first, but they become more tense as time passes. Hyunjin half-listens as he scans the contents of your desk. A laptop, a shopping bag, an open notebook with doodles on the margins, an uncapped black pen, and a pack of gum. He presses his forefinger to the point of the pen, drawing a tiny heart by touch. Then he stamps the heart among all your misshapen stars and imaginary flowers. You might just think it’s an ink smear, but he hopes you look at it and smile.
You hit three hundred and forty-seven before you begin to sound drowsy. Hyunjin stands at the foot of your bed, watching as you finally drift off in the middle of three hundred and ninety-three. Serenity settles across your features.
“I’m sorry for what I did earlier. Good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers. He pats the corner of your bed before flying off into the night.
He needs to see Jeongin.
It was hard not to notice you when you were on a collision course with Jeongin. You were going too fast, and Hyunjin’s wings couldn’t carry him to Earth in milliseconds. With horror, he watched as you sharply turned the building corner on your skateboard and just barely jumped off in time when you saw Jeongin about to make the same turn.
“You okay?” Jeongin asked as he hurried to stop your runaway board.
“I should be asking you that!” you exclaimed as you followed him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have veered that close to the wall. You’re not hurt or anything, right?”
“I’m fine, don’t worry.”
“Good. I can’t risk getting sued again.” Unsure of how to respond, Jeongin nudged back your board to you. You neatly stopped it mid-roll with your foot. “Thanks, by the way. See you around.”
“Yeah, see you.”
You kicked off, but before you left the area, you turned around and gave him a wave. Jeongin waved back, albeit more shyly than you. After a moment’s hesitation, he yelled out, “Be careful!”
“I’ll try!”
Jeongin laughed and turned the corner, looking at the brick wall with more wistfulness than most people usually did. Before he entered the building, he peeked around the next corner, as if he expected you to come speeding by again. You didn’t.
After that, he noticed you more often, usually swerving around strangers as you cut through campus. Whenever he had the opportunity to say hello, he did so with a smile, and you returned it with a waggle of your fingers before disappearing into the crowd. Once, you nearly crashed into a railing. You laughed it off and gave him another wave along with a funny face. Hyunjin felt something inside him melt. Jeongin must have too since he headed to his next class with the most lovestruck expression Hyunjin had ever seen on him.
It was then that Jeongin began forming a plan.
Two weeks after the first meeting, Jeongin waited in the quad for you to show up. Just as he hoped, you came walking down the steps fifteen minutes later, skateboard tucked underneath your arm. It was supposed to seem like a coincidence, but Hyunjin had followed Jeongin as he scoured nearby skate spots, asking around about you. Yesterday, he had learned where you liked to practice tricks. He got up from his bench, hands hidden behind his back, and approached you with the same moves and confidence he had rehearsed in the bathroom mirror.
“Hey! How have you been?” he called up from the very bottom.
Meanwhile, Hyunjin groaned. Jisung, who Hyunjin had tracked down two days prior to this, also did so.
“You said he was a charmer,” Jisung complained. “Look at him. He can’t even charm dogs with a treat.”
“For your sake, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Just wait though. It’s going to get better.”
Jisung huffed. “It better. She deserves the best.”
Fortunately, you took it all in stride and waved hello at Jeongin. When you were finally beside him, you answered, “I’ve been good, thanks. You’re not here to sue me, right?”
“No! I was actually wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. If you have time, that is.”
“Really? But I almost killed you that one time. I mean, I’d be happy to, but it’s kind of weird after what happened.”
“I’d rather skateboard than walk, and you seem pretty good at it.”
You shifted your weight to one foot, and Hyunjin chuckled when he saw Jeongin’s eyes wander to your jutted-out hip. Jisung made a noise of disapproval.
“Okay, what is this really about?”
“Skateboarding,” Jeongin said. Then he took a step closer and held out a bundle of daisies towards you. “And lunch, if you want.”
You broke out into a grin. “I am a little hungry right now. L/N Y/N, skateboarding extraordinaire and ramen enthusiast, at your service.”
“Yang Jeongin, also a ramen enthusiast. Nice to officially meet you.”
Jeongin is still sleeping at his desk when Hyunjin arrives. He shifts and exhales when the wind from Hyunjin’s wings create a small breeze but does not wake.
“How could you break up with her?” Hyunjin says. “She’s amazing and wonderful, and you decide that you don't want to be with her? Sometimes I wonder what’s going on in your head.”
Silence.
“If I were human, I would have never done that, but…”
Jeongin shifts again, burying himself deeper into the crumpled hoodie he’s using as a pillow. The table squeaks, and a mechanical pencil rolls off the desk. Hyunjin quietly places the pencil back to its initial place and shuts off the lamp.
“Take care of yourself, and make good choices, okay? I can’t do that for you.”
Instead of flying back to Heaven, he perches on the roof of the building across from Jeongin’s. Jeongin finally wakes up and notices that his light is off. He glances at it confusedly for a few seconds, wondering if he misremembered leaving it on. In the end, he decides it’s not worth the effort and falls into his bed. He didn’t even spare you a thought, a crime in Hyunjin’s eyes.
Then he realizes he may have a bigger problem on his hands.
Jisung.
Jisung is going to be very upset when he finds out about this.
Over the weekend, you brought Jeongin to the quad to learn the basics.
“Put both feet on the board now,” you said as you walked alongside a skateboarding Jeongin. He was borrowing yours to practice, so he treated it with more reverence than a well-used board would need. Even though he was pushing with his back foot, he was going at a snail’s pace.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’m going to lose my balance and fall.”
Perhaps it wasn’t reverence after all.
You shook your head. “No, you won’t. You’re not going that fast anyway. You can just step off if you really feel like you are. Give it a shot.”
To his credit, Jeongin lifted his foot a few centimeters off the ground before planting it back. “I’m going to lose control.”
While you did your best to persuade Jeongin to give it another try, Jisung gave Hyunjin a dissatisfied look. “I remember you telling me he was a daredevil. What is happening?”
He didn’t exactly know either. “He’s in front of his crush; give him a break.”
“These two better not end up dating. She deserves so much better than him.”
Hyunjin gave him a dirty look, Jisung gave him a “What? It’s true” type of a shrug.
You step in front of the board. “How about this?” you said. “You stand on the board with both feet, and I’ll pull you along so you can get used to the feeling and be less of a scaredy cat.”
“Okay.”
You took both of his hands and slowly guided him backwards. At the same time, you instructed him to put more weight on one side to change directions. Jeongin was surprisingly stable, and Hyunjin watched proudly as his human suggested that you increase your speed a little.
“See? It’s not bad?” you said. “Keeping balance isn’t that hard, right?”
“Yeah. Also,” he grinned, his meek demeanor completely gone, “we’re holding hands now.”
Your eyes widened as you glanced down at your joined hands, and you let out a delighted gasp. “You sneaky little—” Much to Jeongin’s alarm, you let go and smirked. “If you go past the bench without constantly pushing, I’ll let you hold my hand when you walk me home.”
“Kind of presumptuous of you to assume that I would offer to walk you home,” he teased, resting one foot on the floor. “Or is that what you want me to do?”
“You asked me to lunch with flowers. You were going to.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Then he kicked off, skating past the bench with ease. Still going, he looked over his shoulder and shouted, “Do you want to grab doughnuts before you head home?”
“Watch the lamp!” you yelled as you ran towards him. “Jeongin, stop looking at me and turn around!”
The collision with the lamppost was unavoidable, so Hyunjin simply watched as Jeongin took a flying leap off your board and took a tumble on the concrete. While you fumbled for band aids — Jeongin’s knee was scraped and bloody — Jeongin patted his pockets to check that his phone had not fallen out.
“So doughnuts?” he sheepishly asked.
“Sure. I’ll buy.” You finally found one hidden in the bottom of your backpack along with an alcohol wipe. “Guess you get to hold my hand after all.”
“How are you so prepared?” he asked, nodding to the contents you had unceremoniously dumped out whilst rummaging. “You have tweezers and gauze?”
“My mom made me carry a first-aid kit with me when she found out that I skate to class. It comes in handy.” You ripped open the package. “This might hurt.”
“You can kiss it to feel better.”
You laughed and pressed the alcohol wipe to his knee. “You’re such a flirt, I love it. Does it hurt?”
“Yeah, hurts a lot.”
You opted to kiss the band aid instead, causing Jeongin to pout and Jisung to sigh in relief. When you stuck it onto his skin, Jeongin made a big production of being relieved from pain, which made you laugh and shove him.
“No! She’s in love with him,” Jisung groaned. His wings drooped, and Hyunjin swore his halo actually dimmed when you kept your hands in Jeongin’s after you pulled him up. “Well, Hyunjin, looks like you and I are going to be best friends.”
Hyunjin personally saw no issue with that. Like Jeongin, he had been charmed by your antics and your easygoing nature. Protecting his human’s friends, family, or lovers wasn’t part of Hyunjin’s duty, but he felt compelled to watch over you too.
Because if he were human, he would have fallen in love with you too.
In the midst of his lamenting, Jisung flies down and sits beside him on the roof. His wings are still slightly gray, and Hyunjin strangely begins to feel self-conscious of his pure white ones.
“Didn’t the Archangel forbid you from doing frivolous things?” Jisung says in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you at her apartment earlier.”
“I just wanted to check up on her. Not that I thought you lied,” he hastily adds. “I wanted to see for myself. She’s a little… distraught.”
“She got into a fight with her boyfriend. It’s normal.” When Hyunjin doesn’t reply or even make a sound, he grows concerned. “Is it something else? She’s getting sued, isn’t she? I knew it was going to happen someday. When I find that smug richie-rich, I’m going to—”
“Jeongin broke up with her.”
“What.”
Hyunjin repeats his sentence, trying to block the view of Jeongin’s bedroom with his body. Jisung looks like he’s ready to rain judgement onto him, and while Hyunjin is rather good at his job, he’s not sure if he can hold back an enraged guardian angel. Jisung takes several deep breaths before regaining the little composure he can muster.
“I knew I hated him for a reason. I knew he didn’t deserve her,” he spits out, though the venom in his voice wavers. “Why would he even break up with her? She loved him so much.”
Hyunjin shrugs. “That’s what I want to find out.”
“When you find out, let me know. I’m going to see her now.”
Hyunjin stays on the roof until sunrise. Jeongin sleeps without any trouble, and when he wakes up, he looks fresh-faced, no guilt hanging over his head. Hyunjin feels something inside him cracking apart.
You truly don’t deserve this.
“Do you think they’re going to crash and burn?” Jisung asked as he studied you and Jeongin walking through the park, practically glued to each other’s sides. “I think they’re moving too fast. It’s only been a month.”
Hyunjin really didn’t care about that. As long as you and Jeongin were happy, he was happy. “A month is a pretty long time for them. Mortal lives are short.”
“Exactly. They should be more selective about their life choices.”
Hyunjin only rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to you. You were pointing at the tiny carousel in the middle and tugging at Jeongin’s sleeve. You dragged him over and pushed a coin into the slot for the ride. The lights lit up and a carnival theme played while you struggled to wedge yourself between the saddle of an elephant and the roof of the carousel. Jeongin sat on the edge, beside the tiger, and chuckled at your flailing limbs.
Hyunjin suppressed his own laugh. You were something special. Just last week, the two of you had made it official and started dating. You had done it in the sweetest possible way.
You had taken him to a local skateboarding shop to help him pick out his first board. Once he had chosen one — the ‘one’ being a light blue deck patterned with multicolored doughnuts — the staff at the shop sent him to the back to try it out. Meanwhile, you made the age-old excuse of needing to use the restroom when you were actually getting the flowers you had hidden in the back.
Hyunjin had turned into a pile of fluff when you gave Jeongin the daisy bouquet and asked if he wanted to officially be your boyfriend. You were so earnest. Jeongin playfully pretended to think it over, a feat Hyunjin knew he wouldn’t have been able to do if he were in his position. There were no fireworks or confetti when Jeongin finally said yes, but the staff did clap and cheer. Jisung looked on with contempt. Hyunjin looked on with envy.
“You know,” Jisung abruptly said, snapping Hyunjin back to the present, “when her last boyfriend broke up with her, she had ice cream for dinner for a week.”
“Oh.”
“You see why I’m being wary of him now?”
Hyunjin did, but Jeongin was different. His previous relationships always ended well, and on one occasion, he remained friends with his ex. He sighed and decided that a change of topic was necessary so he wouldn’t have to potentially endure a tirade. “Did you hear about Minho’s human? The bank he worked at got robbed, and he got held at gunpoint.”
That caught the overprotective Jisung’s ear. “What? Is he okay?”
During Hyunjin’s recountment of Minho’s recountment, the carousel ride ended. You squeezed out of your spot, hitting your head on the roof, and Jeongin pulled you in for a forehead kiss. The world grew brighter when you smiled, he realized.
Hyunjin shadows Jeongin around all day, hoping to learn the reason for the breakup. Unfortunately, Jeongin doesn’t say anything. He does show some regret though, as he scrolls through past messages and old pictures. When he heads to classes, he opts to walk instead of skateboarding like usual and avoids the quad whenever possible.
In the evening, while Jeongin is chewing on his salad like a cow to cud, Hyunjin pays you a visit. He finds in the freezer section of the grocery store with three pints of ice cream in your basket. From the looks of it, you’re about to add another three to your haul. Peanut butter pretzel sounds equal parts delicious and confusing.
Hyunjin studies your expression, frowning at the same time you do. Your eyes are ringed with red, your jaw tight, and your eyebrows seem permanently furrowed. When he follows you back home, he half expects you to start crying on the way, but you hold fast and manage to open a pint of the salted caramel flavor before the tears finally come. There’s no wailing, just sniffling and the sound of you furiously wiping at your face with the sleeve of your hoodie. In the midst of it all, you find the strength to reorganize the freezer to make space for the other pints. Something about that makes Hyunjin’s heart drop.
By the time your roommate discovers you in the kitchen, the entire refrigerator has been reorganized and the ice cream finished. You sit in a dark room, your finger hovering above the ‘SEND’ button of a message to Jeongin. Hyunjin can see it if he flies above you: “Can you please just tell me why? You keep saying you did something wrong, but I don’t even know what it is. Please let me decide if it’s worth breaking up over.”
“Rough day?” she gently asks as she flips on the switch.
“Yeah.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Maybe tomorrow. I just wanna process it right now,” you hollowly say. You grab your skateboard — the same black, paint-splattered one you had last year — and unlock the front door. “I’m going out for a ride, but I’ll be back in an hour or so.”
“Stay safe.”
After you leave, Jisung phases through the kitchen walls and hisses at Hyunjin, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Jeongin?”
He nearly forgot about him. Eating dinner isn’t a dangerous task anyway though. Besides, if Jeongin does get physically harmed somehow, Hyunjin will feel an echo of the pain. Hyunjin glances at the door, and Jisung shakes his head.
“I’ll take care of her. Go back to Jeongin, and make sure he’s okay. You can’t keep leaving him all the time.”
“Fine, I’ll go.”
“Good.”
Hyunjin reluctantly goes back to Jeongin, who is still eating his salad. His resolve from last night is clearly gone as evidenced by his melancholy expression as he scrolls through even more photos. The one of you in mid-air makes him clutch his phone.
“Let me get one of you when you’re really high up,” Jeongin suggested. He was comfortable gliding around on a skateboard now, but nowhere comfortable enough to try any tricks. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from trying to get him to learn. The “pop shove it” was your favorite, solely for the amount of height you could get.
“Okay.”
As you did over and over again for your enthusiastic boyfriend who was unfortunately not that great of a photographer, Hyunjin observed from a rooftop behind Jeongin. Sometimes you looked like you were flying. He could imagine wings protruding from your back, and if the sun hit you just right, there appeared to be a halo as well.
“I got one!” Jeongin exclaimed as he held up his device to you. “Look.”
Hyunjin couldn’t see for himself, but your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ once you took a first glance. A flustered smile made its way onto your face, and everything about you turned soft.
“This looks amazing,” you said. You sidled up to him and rested your cheek against his shoulder, turning your head towards him. “I love you.”
The words hung in the air for a few seconds as both Hyunjin and Jeongin tried to process them. This was the first time you had ever said them, and it came seemingly out of nowhere. Hyunjin recovered first.
“Say ‘I love you’ back, you moron,” Hyunjin whispered, like Jeongin would be able to hear him from this distance. “‘I love you too.’”
“I wanted to say it first,” Jeongin finally said. “Ugh, I had it all planned out too. We were supposed to get doughnuts after this, and I was going to buy you one of those heart-shaped ones.”
You kissed him on the cheek and intertwined your fingers with his. “We can still do that.”
At the doughnut shop, he said the words second, and you kissed him again, leaving a crystal of glaze on the corner of his mouth. Hyunjin licked his lips as if you had left it on him instead.
“Did you find out?” Jisung asks when Hyunjin leaves Jeongin to check up on you. You’re skating around the city, making sharp swerves and weaving in-between lampposts. Jisung is trailing behind you in the sky, but he slows when he sees Hyunjin approaching.
“No, but—”
“Then go back to him. Hyunjin,” Jisung sighs, “I know you care about her, but she’s not your human. Jeongin’s your responsibility.”
“I know but—”
“Go back. And I’m telling you this not as your friend but as your senior. You’re a guardian angel, and you need to take your responsibilities seriously. I’ll get the Archangel involved if I have to. Do you want to get Seungminned?”
The threat of the Archangel strangely doesn’t scare him anymore, however. In fact, the Archangel being involved may solve many of his current issues.
“I’ll find you again when I find out,” Hyunjin slowly says.
Jisung nods in approval before racing after you again. Hyunjin heads to Heaven, not to keep an eye over his human but to become human.
Ten months into Jeongin’s relationship with you, Hyunjin asked Minho, “Is it possible to give up your divinity?”
Minho gave Hyunjin a curious look. “Is being a guardian angel that taxing for you? You haven’t even experienced a full lifespan yet. I know, twenty year-olds are annoying, but it’s not nearly as bad as forty year-olds and their mid-life crisis.”
“I’m just curious. Or, as a last resort,” he added, hoping that Minho would stop being suspicious if he joked about it. “My human’s been making some dumb choices.”
A lie, but Minho fell for it.
“I told you he was going to be a troublemaker!” he cackled. He sympathetically patted Hyunjin’s back. “If I’m being honest, I thought about it a few times. I always get assigned to the troublemakers. Probably because the higher-ups hate me for not tolerating their BS. They’re always playing favorites. Anyway, the easiest way is to get expelled by the Archangel. It’s happened a few times before.”
“Can’t you just ask him?”
Minho smirked. “You don’t think other angels have tried that? He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. It’s supposed to be a punishment.”
“What’s the hard way then?”
“Same thing minus the Archangel getting involved: your wings getting cut off,” he matter-of-factly answered. “The halo will break once your wings are detached. It’s only been done once, by the way.”
Hyunjin absentmindedly rubbed the area where the bones of his wings met with his shoulder blades. All he needed were two clean cuts across his practically impenetrable back.
“How do you do that?”
“With the Archangel’s sword. Another angel has to cut it though; you can’t do it yourself.”
The Archangel would likely banish him to Hell for even asking about his weapon. If Hyunjin ever did manage to steal the sword away, Jisung would never agree to it. He couldn’t just ask any angel to help him.
“How do you know about all this?” Hyunjin asked.
Minho hesitated, something he rarely did. He quickly recovered, hiding his sudden apprehension with his usual devil-may-care nonchalance. “I can’t give away all of my secrets.”
“We’re friends, aren’t we?”
Friends. The word hung in the air like the sun, and Hyunjin knew that Minho would tell him because underneath all of his bluster was loneliness. Because no one liked Minho, or if they did, they still avoided him anyway.
“Yeah, we are,” Minho answered, smiling for a second before a strange expression crossed over his face, pride mixed with a touch of sadness. “Do you really think the Archangel would have expelled one of his favorite guardian angels that easily?”
“Who are you talking about?”
“Seungmin. He asked me to cut his wings for him.”
“I need you to cut my wings,” are Hyunjin’s first words to Minho after not speaking to him for days.
To his credit, Minho is only speechless for a few seconds. The dove in his hand pecks at him for more headpats before he recovers. “Well, do you have the sword?”
“No, but I think I can get it. When I do though, would you do it? You’re the only one I trust.”
Minho sighs and tosses the bird out of Heaven, grimacing a bit when he hears it squawk. When he faces Hyunjin, he smiles the same smile he did when he talked about Seungmin. “It’s always me, huh? I’ll do you one better. I’ll steal the sword for you. The Archangel’s been pissing me off anyway.”
For once, Hyunjin’s thoughts are not on you but his friend. He imagined that Minho would be willing, but perhaps he’s too willing. “Are you trying to get expelled as well? We can go together.”
“No, I like being immortal. I hate all of the BS I get put through sometimes, but the Archangel can’t kick me out. He swore an oath to me a long time ago before he got promoted, and it’s pretty much unbreakable. Besides, even Heaven needs a scapegoat.”
That explains why virtually no angels interact with Minho, Hyunjin being the exception. He has never heard of the Archangel being oathsworn, though it seems likely that the Archangel wants to keep that a secret.
“How are you going to get it?” Hyunjin asks. “How did Seungmin even get it? The Archangel always has it with him.”
“Seungmin was one of his favorites,” Minho reminds him. “He had easy access to him, and the Archangel trusted him enough to let him borrow it for ‘a study.’ Don’t worry about me though. Just wait for me on Earth. Somewhere where no one goes. I’ll find you, slice off your wings, and the Archangel won’t even know what happened to you.”
“That’s not possible. He always keeps it on him.”
Minho shrugs, a gleam in his eyes. “I’ve done it before. Why do you think I’m the scapegoat?”
Seungmin. For Minho and now Hyunjin, being Seungminned didn’t mean being expelled for being frivolous anymore; it meant leaving of your own accord.
“What happened to him?” Hyunjin asked. “Why didn’t the Archangel grant his divinity back? Someone should have spotted him on Earth.”
Minho’s wry grin was back. “You think the Archangel wanted everyone to find out the golden boy of Heaven no longer wanted to be an angel? Plenty of angels already saw him roaming Earth. It was easier to let everyone think that Seungmin was banished. So when they saw him on Earth, he was just a fallen angel, nothing important.” He nudged Hyunjin’s arm, and the solemn atmosphere vanished. “A troublemaking human isn’t all that bad. Like I said, the twenties are annoying, but they’re manageable. Is he one of those partying types?”
“He goes out sometimes,” Hyunjin carefully replied. Jeongin liked hanging out with his friends and you — mostly you, now that Hyunjin thought about it — but he wasn’t getting blackout drunk every night. At least, Hyunjin hoped he wasn’t. He usually watched over you if you were ever in the vicinity. “Speaking of which, I should check up on him.”
Minho said his goodbyes, and Hyunjin flew back to Earth once he saw that you weren’t with Jeongin. You were studying at your desk, rolling a pen between your fingers, reading through a document on your laptop. The desk light casted a warm glow on your face. You frowned, and your lower lip swelled outwards.
He wished he were human.
Just as Minho said, Hyunjin waits for him to arrive in a secluded part of the university campus. The building rooftop is devoid of anyone, and the area surrounding it is empty as well. The evening turns into night, then night into the early morning when the sky begins lightening. Still, Minho has not come.
He distantly wonders how Jeongin is faring and his promise to Jisung. When he’s human, he’ll ask Jeongin directly, maybe in disguise of a survey: “Why did you break up with your last partner?” Even to him, it sounds stupid. However, that’s not the real reason why he’s giving up his divinity, so it hardly matters to him. Jisung is resourceful; he’ll find out eventually.
Finally, when the sun peeks over the horizon, Minho descends from Heaven, a familiar silver sword in his hand. He lands beside Hyunjin, a triumphant smile on his face. But his usual humor has been replaced with solemnity.
“You’re sure about this?” he asks as he rests the blade on the top of Hyunjin’s wings.
He has never felt so sure of anything in his life. “Yes.”
“It’s going to hurt.”
“Then make it quick.”
Searing pain shoots through his body as the sword pierces through the thin skin and into the bone. The process is not as nearly as seamless as Hyunjin hoped it would be, and Minho breathes heavily as he pushes the blade down. Bones snap, feathers drift to the floor, and blood trickles down his back. The pain only grows greater near the end, but Hyunjin grits his teeth and keeps quiet. Dawn breaks when his wings finally fall to the floor, no longer white but splattered with red. Soon they fade into dust, and the remnants scatter into the wind. His golden halo shatters into sunlight. The world dulls as the last of his powers disappear, but everything feels much better than when he was an angel.
“Thank you,” he whispers to Minho, who he cannot even look at anymore. His eyes would be burned.
“You’re fallen, not quite mortal and not quite divine. You won’t be affected by all of an angel’s power.”
When Hyunjin cautiously glances at him, Minho waves the bloody sword at him. “See?”
“Yeah.” He wanted humanity, but this is good enough for him. He just needs you to be able to see him, hear him, touch him.
“I need to go back before Heaven becomes Hell, but find Seungmin if you can. He can help you figure things out. Last I heard, he’s living somewhere in the mountains.”
“Thank you,” he repeats. “Minho, I can’t even put it into words about how much this means to me. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”
Minho pats his shoulder before stripping off his clean shirt. “Clean yourself before you leave. No one wants to witness a walking crime scene this early in the morning.”
When he flies back to Heaven, the last thing Hyunjin sees are his wings, still pure white.
“Hey,” you said as you laced your fingers with Jeongin’s. He had just finished class, and you had waited for him outside the building. Hyunjin had sat on the other end of the bench, savoring the proximity. That was the closest he would ever get to you. “Are you busy tonight? The skate shop just announced — literally an hour ago, those jerks — that they were doing a midnight drop, and I kind of want a new deck.”
“Ugh, I’ve been meaning to buy new trucks, but I have to meet up with my group tonight. Send me pictures though.”
Disappointment only momentarily flooded through Hyunjin. If it was anything like the last two meetups, it would be at the library, and the library was a safe place. Jeongin would be fine there. Hyunjin would be free to shadow you as you went to the skate shop.
“I can get it for you,” you offered.
He shook his head. “It’s fine. Maybe I’ll just wait for a sale.”
“Don’t be surprised if I do get you new trucks,” you warned. You let go of his hand and held his arm. “I still owe you for last month’s dinner.”
Jeongin shook his head again, a smile making its way onto his face. “You don’t owe me anything but a kiss.”
“Flirt,” you laughed as you pressed your lips to his cheek. “Never change, Yang Jeongin.”
That night at the skate shop, Hyunjin hovered above you as you stood in line, chatting with others. There were no unscrupulous characters around, but he stayed with you, only going back to Jeongin when Jisung insisted. However, by then, Hyunjin had already seen you eyeing the shiny teal trucks through the window. Hyunjin knew nothing about skateboards even after all those months, but you seemed pleased by them.
“You’re only getting trucks for sure?” your brand new acquaintance asked. “This is, like, the biggest drop they’ve ever done.”
You shrugged. “I’m kind of on the fence about the decks I saw on the email. I don’t know. Maybe wheels too?”
Meanwhile, Jisung hissed, “Hyunjin, go before something happens. What if a fight breaks out?”
Hyunjin sincerely doubted that one would happen at the library. He lingered around, taking his time unfolding his wings and stretching them.
“Your boyfriend’s lucky,” your acquaintance sighed.
“Nah, I’m the lucky one.”
Daisies, that’s what he needs right now. Choosing the rooftop of a building was not a smart decision, but the access door is thankfully unlocked, and Hyunjin races down all of the emergency stairs. However, with no form of currency on him, Hyunjin heads to the quad, hoping that he can pull up some dandelions for you. You need to be supported, and bright yellow flowers are just the thing.
What he doesn’t expect though, is to find you doing pop shove its at your usual spot. It’s so early in the day; did you even go back to your apartment to sleep?
“Good morning,” he calls as he walks closer. He waves at you, and you can see him! You tentatively wave back and give him a halfhearted smile. “How are you today? You look beautiful.”
“Thanks, and I’m fine,” you politely reply as you take a step back away from him. “What about you?”
Hyunjin curses in his head and takes another step towards you. “I’m good. Really good, actually. I was wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. I’m new here, and skateboarding seems like an efficient way to get around.”
You flinch at his words, and he desperately wants to take them back. How did Jeongin do it? Why do his statements come out so stiff? “You seem pretty good at it.”
“Are you not cold?” you blurt out. Hyunjin curses again as he realizes that he’s shirtless. His old one was stained, and Minho’s was as well as the result of his cleanup. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “You know, I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you.”
“Hyunjin. My name’s Hyunjin.”
“Nice meeting you, Hyunjin.”
You grab your board and immediately head off to the direction of your apartment. Hyunjin is tempted to follow, but he stays where he is. A bad first impression isn’t the end of the world. The only thing holding him back is his lack of a shirt.
He wanders through the quad, scanning the grass for some flowers. Most of them are the white, fluffy dandelions, but he needs the bright yellow version. However, he takes the white ones anyway in case he can’t find any. The wind scatters the seeds, and he—
“Hyunjin, I told you not to come back.”
Jisung.
Hyunjin turns around, dropping his bouquet onto the ground. To his horror, not only is Jisung present but also the Archangel. His sword is strapped to his side like usual, not a blood splatter tainting it. Minho did an excellent job of cleaning up the crime scene.
“Jisung, Archangel,” Hyunjin nervously greets. The Archangel frightens him now. “How can I help you?”
“Jisung, why did you bring me here?” the Archangel asks. “I have other things to attend to.”
“He’s abandoned his human too many times, and I don’t think he’s fit to be a guardian angel anymore.”
The Archangel grasps the hilt of his sword and studies Hyunjin, up and down, back and forth. He circles him, and Hyunjin can almost feel his mortality-divinity shining through his body. Jisung hasn’t noticed yet, but there is no doubt the Archangel hasn’t.
“Normally,” the Archangel begins, “the punishment for not fulfilling your duties as a guardian angel is being expelled from Heaven. But you have already fallen.”
“What?” comes Jisung’s shocked voice.
“It was a mistake,” Hyunjin tries. Minho’s words ring in his ear: He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. “I thought I wanted humanity, but I’ve realized that being a guardian angel is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Please. Grant me my divinity back. I will never abandon my human again. I will swear an oath if I have to.”
The Archangel smiles with no teeth, and a chill runs down Hyunjin’s spine. “I’m in a forgiving mood today, so I will do just as you ask. Your divinity will be granted back, but you will no longer be a guardian angel. I’m stripping you of those powers and those duties. You will be replaced immediately. It was my mistake for tasking you with such a large responsibility when you weren’t ready yet.”
With just a snap of the Archangel’s fingers, Hyunjin’s senses sharpen, and the world comes hurtling at him. Nothing is dull anymore, but everything feels so dark and wrong. You will never be able to see him, hear him, or talk to him again. And he will never be able to either. Power surges inside of him, and new wings burst through his shoulder blades, fanning out once they reappear. A silver halo hangs over his head. There is no physical pain into becoming immortal again, yet he wishes there was something. Everything he and Minho did was erased with ease.
Hyunjin swallows the lump in his throat. “Thank you,” he chokes out.
“You’re very welcome. Come along now. Only guardian angels are allowed to be on Earth.”
Hyunjin follows the Archangel back to Heaven while Jisung goes after you. The Archangel loudly deliberates on who he should be replaced with, and Hyunjin knows that his request was not granted with kindness. The Archangel informs that he will be a messenger again. Hyunjin barely hears him as he takes one last look at Earth. Jeongin is there. Jisung is there. You are there.
Hyunjin avoids Minho’s eyes as he flies inside the realm behind the Archangel and hides among the rest of the regular angels until he is called to send a message. The higher-ups recognize him, make snide remarks about his demotion, and make pitiful faces at him. He barely registers them. There is a hollowness in him, and no matter how many memories he recalls, it isn’t enough to fill the void.
A few weeks later, Jisung approaches him, but even he stays a healthy distance away. “Hyunjin.” The disdain is clear.
“Jisung.”
“You knew about the reason all along, didn’t you? You were there when it happened.”
“When what happened?”
Realization dawns upon Jisung, and he shakes his head in disgust. “I should have known. You weren’t with him that night because you left him like you always did! You could have done something. Make him fall off his chair or something. Make the girl lose her balance. Instead, both of our humans suffered because you weren’t there.”
“What happened?”
“A girl from his group project randomly kissed him, and he thought he had been leading her on and cheating on his own girlfriend, so he broke up with her because he thought that would be the right thing to do instead of just telling her what actually happened. They’re back together now because he finally got the nerve to give her closure. It took nearly a month. They were miserable for a month. All because of you.”
It stings. “They’re okay now, right?”
“They’re fine, no thanks to you.” Just when Hyunjin thinks he’s going to leave, he takes a step forward, lips curled into sneer. “You know, angels and humans aren’t allowed to be with each other. It’s been forbidden for millenia.”
“I know,” he whispers. “But I loved her, and I had to try.”
“She would have never chosen you anyway.”
He never had a chance, did he?
~ ad.gray
Yes, you did! I remembered it and wondered if you were going to come back! Hope you enjoyed this! <3
#stray kids#skz#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#stray kids angst#skz angst#hyunjin angst#stray kids imagines#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids scenarios#skz imagines#skz fanfic#skz scenarios#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin x reader#guardian angel au#anniversary special#20210816
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