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intergalacticaquarium · 2 years

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I Can Be Your Gremlin AKA Eddie Comes to Thanksgiving

Eddie Munson x Female Original Character (Samantha Campbell) (Dustin's step sister, technically the same character from Home Again, but not a part of that story.)

Summary: Sam's pretentious mother demands that she come to Thanksgiving, so she asks her friend Eddie to come as her fake boyfriend to cause a scene. The plan goes off the rails, though, when Samantha's mom invites her daughter's ex, and her fake boyfriend starts to feel real jealous.

Content: Fake Dating! Mutual Pining! Friends to Lovers! Learning to Communicate like a real person! Peak Gremlin Eddie! Little meow meow Eddie! A kinda thirsty makeout scene! some confusing feelings, Eddie acting like a douchebag and getting too into character, if u want Eddie the disaster boy with a lil angst then this one is for you. Also people have told me that it is funny so I don't have to say it.

ALSO- special thanks to @seafoamgreenpng who sent me the screenshot like 10 seconds after I said 'fake dating to make her parents mad' and then kept it up with literally some of the funniest and most fire prompts I have ever received.

(Also there are some misc family member characters so mom=Vanessa step-dad= Charles ex bf- Connor)

(other fics)

12.6k

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Samantha Campbell and Eddie Munson sat in the back of her van smoking overlooking the Quarry on a fine autumn day. Normally she’d be all giggles or existentialism or maybe talking about the episode of Taxi she had just watched that he had already seen, but today she was quiet and anxious, not talking much and bouncing her leg more than normal.

"Is there something wrong? Because you’re kinda stressing me out." Eddie asked her and handed her the pipe for a hit. Sam grumbled something he couldn't hear and he asked her to clarify.

She sighed. "My mom wants me to go to her family's Thanksgiving dinner."

"I don't think I've ever actually eaten a proper Thanksgiving dinner- but I'm assuming the food isn't your issue?" He asked, realizing that in all the time he had known her she had never mentioned her mom.

"My mom's side of the family is…maybe not what you'd expect? They're like rich. Like actually rich." She explained awkwardly.

"Interesting, I wouldn't have pegged you as a rich girl." He said with a laugh. And she grimaced.

"That's kinda the problem though because like… she doesn't put in any effort with me. Especially not after the divorce but she still- God this is embarrassing please don't judge me- she still sends me money sometimes. A lot of the time." She confessed.

"Interesting. I always wondered how you could afford an ounce a month. And you know what? Don't be ashamed of it- if my parents could pay me a fee to be shitty parents then I'd take it. It's better than just being a shitty parent and not sending money. I mean, my dad's in jail, but still."

"Yeah, well…yeah. So I have to go or else she'll cut me off and I have to behave. Jesus I just wish I could just have like…a little gremlin with me that would just scream what I'm thinking every time my family said some garbage. I wish there was a way I could look perfect to her and still ruin Thanksgiving. God, that would be the dream"

Eddie was silent for a moment and she could see the gears turning in his head.

"I could be your gremlin." He said conspiratorially, and she looked at him "all you gotta do is feed me after midnight, by which I mean invite me to Thanksgiving and let me make the scene instead."

"God, that would be so good. I could bring you as my boyfriend and everybody would just be horrified." She said gleefully.

Eddie snorted at the mental image "I could come in late with muddy shoes."

"I'm just imagining one of your cafeteria rants standing on a white tablecloth and I will forever cherish the mental image."

"I could ask how much everything costs and start ranting about consumerism."

"We could sneak off and muss up our hair and button our shirts wrong and then come back like it wasn't a big deal." She said with a genuine laugh imagining their faces.

"Would it be too much to start telling them about drug dealing? " He joked.

"Too much? Dude, I want you to be a convicted felon. Show off those tats, grab my ass and be super obvious about it, give them like an air guitar sample of one of your songs. God, I need to stop or I'm gonna be so tempted to actually force you to come."

"I'll do it." He said honestly, and she rolled her eyes. "I'm not joking I think it would be…hysterical- also I've never gotten to eat a Thanksgiving dinner before."

"You may be kicked out before dinner."

"Can you save me some if I do?"

"Sure."

"Alright, deal."

"Seriously? You'd do that for me?" She asked, and he wondered if she was actually surprised. It was odd to think she didn't realize he'd do just about anything for her.

"Are you kidding me? I'd do it just to piss off a reganite."

---

So that was how they ended up parked a block away on Thanksgiving day, trying to think of final touches before going inside.

"So- ground rules." He said.

"Uhhh, yeah- I-I can't really think of anything off limits besides stuff that would be obvious was over the top stupid."

"Yeah, you're gonna have to tell me exactly where that line is because I feel like it could be anywhere." He said nervously.

"I mean don't like…start making out with me in front of my mom against a wall or something. Just like, I dunno, grab my ass during a conversation or check me out or make an inappropriate comment. Oh! And the most important thing- any time they talk shit about something you know applies to me, pounce on it."

"I'll be your steadfast defender."

"Great- oh and I should have a signal for you to like, chill out or Amp it up. Okay, uh if I tug on my ear then you should stop and if I touch my nose you give it all you got."

Eddie gave her a sharp nod and tapped the side of his nose.

"Sweet. Okay. Uh, drop me off then I guess and come back around in like 10 minutes."

"Do you actually want me to come inside smoking or just coming up to the door?"

"Inside. I said don't be unrealistic but like…don't hold back either. I need that 8th grade theater kid Eddie in there." She said, and he nodded resolutely. He smiled to himself, realizing she had just admitted to noticing him long before they became friends.

He nodded and she got out of the car.

"Oh! You should grab me and kiss me when you come in too- that'll be a great entrance."

Before he could respond she hopped out and began to walk into the house.

Eddie drove away to wait around the corner for a couple minutes before making his grand entrance and only now did he consider that maybe…this idea wasn't going to go the way they wanted it to. When he had agreed he had mostly been thinking about the gremlin aspect and not the fake boyfriend one, and he hadn't considered that he'd have to kiss her.

Not that he didn't want to kiss her. He did. He really wanted to, but that was the problem. He didn't want to kiss her in a fake way because he knew that it never took much for his imagination to get away from him and he'd have himself convinced she liked him too within the hour.

After 10 minutes of alternating between psyching himself up and psyching himself out it was time to go inside. He shook out his shoulders and tried to channel 8th grade drama class and his hellfire improv skills and considered that those things were always easier when he was adopting a character. He didn't know what that meant for this particular moment but he was gonna try it.

Sam was tightly smiling at one of her uncles and nodding awkwardly when the front door was literally kicked in by what everybody instantly assumed was a vagrant.

She almost laughed at how ridiculous the scene was, her mom's big clean beige mcmansion and all the beige people in it being invaded by Eddie The freak Munson. His hair was wilder than normal with sunglasses on and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

She covered her mouth to stop the laughs from coming out at his exaggerated swagger towards her, puffing as much smoke as he could into the sitting room. He stopped short next to her and slung his arm around her ungracefully.

She had to admit she was a little surprised when he took the cigarette out of his mouth, handed it to the nearest person, put his arms around her and kissed her within an inch of her life. When he let go she was a little stunned and tried to gather herself quickly, casting a quick eyebrows up glance at him where he gave her a subtle shrug.

"Sorry, baby, I had to get some smokes." He said in such an exaggerated voice she almost laughed.

Her family had fallen silent and stared at them, and Sam cleared her throat.

"Everybody, this is Eddie. My boyfriend. Eddie…this is everybody." She said, and he gave them a mock solute.

He looked at Sam for further silent direction and tilted his head in confusion.

"Are you wearing a different outfit?" He asked, breaking character, and he saw Sam muster up the fakest smile he had ever seen.

"Uh, yes. My mom thought that this one would look better, I guess." She said stiffly, and Eddie frowned.

"Too bad, you looked hot as hell before. I mean, you still look hot as hell but I think you've got better taste." He said, getting back into it and speaking loudly.

A woman in front of them laughed as if he was joking and gave him a cool smile.

He turned to her and the resemblance to Sam was so uncanny that they couldn't have been anybody but her mother. It was weird to see her, because it was Sam's face if she decided now to not laugh for the next 30 years and straighten her hair like pins and needles and dress all in white.

"I always prepare something for Samantha since she has a habit of picking things that are a bit…" She tapped her chin in thought. "Pedestrian." She finished proudly, and Sam nodded along at her own expense. He felt a pang in his heart seeing how downtrodden she already was.

"Where are you living where pedestrians look like that because I'd be willing to move to the city of babes." He said, and gazed as ravenously at his fake girlfriend as he could muster while examining his dear friend's face for clues that he was helping. She smiled a little, but he knew she was still upset.

"So, you must be Sam's grandmother." He said confidently, sticking out a hand, and seeing his friends tiny smile become genuine.

Her mother, however, looked horrified.

"Mother. I am her mother." She said sternly.

"Samantha has told us so much about you." She said, and limply held out her hand as if she wanted him to bow and kiss it. Instead he just gave her a low five without thinking and he heard Sam bark a laugh of surprise.

"All bad things I hope." He said with a devilish grin.

"She neglected to mention that you were so…indiscreet" She said as judgmentally as she could manage.

"Uh…thank you Mrs. Campbell." He said and her face hardened.

"Campbell is my ex husband's name and, unfortunately, Samantha's as well, despite how many times I've told her to get it changed." She said haughtily and he felt Sam shrink a little under his arm. When Sam had said her mom was shitty he assumed that meant largely absent like his own, but seeing Sam shrinking in on herself told him a different story. He knew her. He knew how much grinding it would have taken to wear her down, and it broke his fucking heart.

"Can't imagine any name sounding better than Sammy Campbell." He said affectionately, squeezing her shoulders in a way that he hoped she could tell was genuine.

Her mother grimaced. "Samantha Beuregard has a much better ring to it."

"No, it really doesn't." He said flatly, and saw Sam's small smile from the corner of his eye.

Eddie liked Sam's dad, and old Ron Campbell had clearly put in a hell of a lot more love and time into Sam than any Beuregard in this room.

"Please, come have a seat." She said, sniffing pretentiously, leading them to an immaculate couch that Eddie was debating what he should spill on and when with an older man sitting there, swirling a glass of wine.

Eddie picked one up and drank some, swishing it around like mouthwash and swallowing before gulping down the rest and grabbing another glass.

"Eddie, this is my stepdad, Charles." She said, and gestured to him before tapping her nose so he knew to go all out.

"You know, this tastes a hell of a lot like some hooch that my buddy made." He observed, and the man scowled at him.

"I highly doubt that. This wine is thirty years old and nine hundred dollars." He said, and Sam gestured to him.

"You sure you didn't get it from a guy called Skinny Pete?"

"It's from France." He said, offended

"Oh, yeah. This one wasn't French. You can save a lot of money next time by just emptying out a couple fruit cups into a plastic baggie and shoving it under your bed to let it sit for a couple months." He said, taking another sip, and Sam began to cough after inhaling some liquid when she was trying not to laugh.

"What do you do for a living, Eddie?"

"I'm an entrepreneur. Self employed if you know what I mean." He said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

"Unemployed, then?" He said dryly and there was a round of chortles.

Eddie laughed cockily. "Nah, man it's just a pretty complex operation. Lots of moving parts, lots of…discretion. And I run the whole thing…" He said. Peeking over his sunglasses.

"How old are you?" Her mom asked.

"Uhhh-40." He said confidently, and Charles tilted his head at him slightly. "I have a great skincare routine." He added, and he saw Sam's lip wobbling.

"Samantha, tell us- how did you two meet?"

"Uhhh-" She said, her voice shaking and she cleared her voice to get rid of the laughter. "I was his….tutor!" She supplied, and now it was Eddie's turn to almost laugh because the only person he had ever met that cared less about school than he did was Sam Campbell.

Her mother frowned. "Sweetheart, why would you get a part time job at this age? If you need more money just ask me. Is your father not taking good enough care of you? I've seen that little hovel with his new fiance and her son. Honestly, Samantha, why you don't just come live here is beyond me-" She scolded.

"It's not a hovel, it's a lovely little house and he didn't want to make Claudia move her family-" Sam started angrily, but her mother rolled her eyes.

"Oh right, of course. That strange boy without the teeth I remember him. He and his little group of troublemakers were always so disruptive around town since their friend got lost in the woods. Honestly, that Byers woman made such a fuss when she could've just kept better track of her children."

Sam and Eddie hated the laugh that went through the room.

His blood was boiling now and a glance at Sam told him she was about to start shouting and his gremlin duties were activated.

"That fuss saved her kid.?" Eddie said through clenched teeth.

"Was he even in danger?" She asked, annoyed, and sipping her wine.

"Just because you would've given up looking for Sam after a day and a half doesn't mean that Joyce was overreacting." He said firmly.

"Eddie, maybe she has a point." Sam said, and he turned to her in shock to see her making a thoughtful face and gently tap her nose. "I mean, if Joyce had just worked harder she would've been richer and therefore automatically a better parent because of it." She said with dripping sarcasm that Eddie was horrified none of her family picked up on, just idly nodding in agreement.

"I just think it takes more than money to actually be a good parent. A big stack of cash can't, y'know, take your picture with your date on prom night and make sure that you get home safe." He said, and he didn't like that the people around him didn't seem to think that was obvious. To think, for years Eddie had heard people imply, and sometimes straight up say, that they weren't surprised his parents weren't around. But it turned out that the people calling him parentless trailer trash left their kids to fend for themselves as well and ditching somebody's kids wasn't a class issue. Shocking, he thought.

Her mother shrugged. "It can get you a better camera, then you can take the pictures yourself and show them to me later. We could make a day of it. And Samantha was raised well enough to not…wander off." She said matter of factly.

Sam and Eddie both couldn't stop thinking about how Sam had literally just gotten in a van one day a year and a half ago and barely contacted anybody for the next 12 months and how, according to Sam, when she went to see her mom after coming home, she hadn't even realized she had left. Eddie really really hated this lady now.

"Yup. My mom always knows exactly where I am and she's a really good parent because she calculated the exact amount of money I would need to get a new mother that would teach me how to tie my shoes." Sam said bitterly, and then frowned, remembering that she was supposed to be behaving while Eddie aired out her thoughts.

"Samantha, don't be so dramatic."

Eddie snorted loudly, and Vanessa turned to him in annoyance. "Sorry. Nobody's ever been called dramatic in the same room as me."

"No? You mustn't take my daughter out much, then." She joked, Sam glanced at him with a look that told him she didn't think they were going to get anywhere. But now he was actually mad, and Sam's dejection was only making it worse.

"I take her out every day. Believe it or not I like being around her." He said defensively, unconsciously holding Sam closer to him as if that would guard her from the insults.

Her mother simply raised her eyebrows and gave an annoyingly knowing look at her husband.

"Y'know, Vanessa, can I call you Vanessa? It doesn't matter. I just hope you'll forgive me for all this talk about parents a little personally because…well ...." He took a dramatic breath. "I had rich parents too. They spoiled me rotten, bought me anything I ever wanted, but they were never around. I can't even remember their faces. I never even met my dad because he never came home from the office until I was asleep. I don't know how they even figured out what I wanted since I had to teach myself how to talk by watching M*A*S*H reruns," He said in a tearful voice.

"It's true." Sam corroborated. "That's why he's a democrat." She added and saw a little grin while he kept talking, along with a few pitying gasps and a quiet poor thing.

"That's when I turned to my life of crime. I just needed…somebody….anybody….to give me the attention I wasn't getting from my parents. Even if it was the cops." He said, playing such a miserable role that he reminded Sam of some kind of court jester. She wasn’t sure why she was into it, but she was all the same.

"Are you a drug dealer?" A squeaky voice said in the crowd.

"Teddy, shush, don't be rude where he can hear you!" Another voice shouted out, but Eddie pointed at them smartly.

"Very perceptive of you, Teddy. I run a very extensive organization. Took a bit of a hit when I was put away but now I'm back on top." He bragged, and felt Sam's shoulders vibrate in silent laughter.

"Put away?" Her mother asked, seeming oddly enraptured.

"Two years. Two….long….years they kept me there. Guardsman O'Donnel watched my every move... Every day I stared at the clock ticking and counting the moments until I was out again and I could see my girl. When they handed me my release papers I grabbed them, flipped him off, and ran like hell out of there." He said wistfully, and Sam gave him a knowing look as somebody who had been to his graduation.

"Wow, have you two really been together for that long?" Charles asked incredulously.

"No, no, I meant my ex-wife. Well, soon to be ex wife. I keep sending the papers to her new address but her boyfriend's wife keeps throwing them away." He said as plainly as he could, hearing a few gasps and murmurs from the captivated audience and holding back his own laughter at the faces before him and casting a glance back at Samantha who was struggling to keep a straight face.

"Can you excuse me for a second?" Sam said with a weak voice as she walked away quickly. Being the only one that knew she was joking made it clear that they thought she just walked away crying.

Eddie followed her without ceremony as she burst out the back door into the garage and then a small room off of that that she shut herself into and he heard her erupt into giggles once inside.

"You good?" Eddie asked from outside, grinning. She opened the door for him and pulled him inside with her. Eddie fit himself into the little storage cupboard beside her and they closed the door. The dangling light above their heads illuminated their faces as they were silent for a moment before erupting in laughter they tried their damnedest to keep quiet.

"Christ, dude, you've gotta warn me before dropping something like your ex's new boyfriend's wife-Holy shit." She said as her giggles calmed down, and he stood there inches from her, no longer laughing but watching her calm down.

"Should we head back?" He asked quietly, but she shook her head.

"They probably think I'm crying about your ex wife so let's give it at least 10 minutes for them to gossip." She said, and she squinted down at her watch.

"So is this like a ten minutes in heaven or is this a planning sesh?" He whispered. "Or I suppose we could do the traditional seven and plan for three?" He asked, and she rolled her eyes, but paused and perked up like she had an idea. That’s when she began to unbutton her shirt.

"Uhhh, what are you doing?" He asked anxiously, and she gave him a coy look that turned into a goofy grin.

"I'm gonna button up my shirt wrong and mess up my hair a little bit." She explained. And he grinned, watching a little shamelessly and he got a hint of bra as she did and undid the buttons in order. She ran a hand through her hair and looked at him and he swallowed hard at her face in the low light.

"How do I look? Scandalous?" She asked, and he grinned knowingly as he reached out to mess up her collar a bit, and he saw her swallow when he got close.

"Very. I don't know what I can do, though- I'm already looking my least put together." He said with a chuckle and saw her eyes light up.

"Put your vest on inside out." She said with a grin.

"Isn't that a little obvious?" He asked, already conceding and shaking it off his shoulders.

"You can fix it when somebody points it out but we're trying to build immersion, and I believe that if we were actually feeling each other up right now and that vest came off, you wouldn't notice if you put it on inside out."

"That's a good point. Any other ideas?"

Sam's eyes got wide and her cheeks got a little red.

"Okay- totally feel free to say no but you did really lay one on me like an hour ago, so like- how much closer can we get- but you should give me a hickey. If you want to." She said with a mischievous grin and a little bounce on her heel.

He swallowed hard and her face changed to an awkward surprise. He didn't know why his brain hadn't really registered the fact that he had actually kissed her earlier. Like really. With tongue and everything.

"Not a big deal if you don't want to-"

"I'll do it. Give you a hickey, I mean. Heh, sorry my brain just needed a second to catch up, it's not a big deal." He said, and she narrowed her eyes thoughtfully.

"You sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable." She said, and he grinned, his confidence working its way back into him.

"I'm sure if you're okay with the scrutiny." He murmured

"If you're sure you can deal with my mom's glares." Her voice was sweet and teasing as she was so close.

Eddie had never had…the best luck with girls. Not that he had really put that much of an effort in, but today he was here to be an overconfident bad influence. Maybe that could give him a little mobility in where that charisma got to go just this once.

"That's what I'm here for." He said with a cocky grin that faltered a little as he glanced down at her neck. She caught his eyes moving down and arranged the collar of her blouse, pulling it back just enough that she would plausibly think it was hidden but not so much that nobody would notice. She pushed her short hair back and tilted her head. It was his turn now. He just had to lean forward and…suck…on Sam Campbell's neck. Right now. No build up or music to set the mood. Why had he agreed to this?

"I feel like a vampire." He said awkwardly, and she laughed a little nervously as he bent forward and placed his mouth on her throat.

He had never actually given somebody a hickey before. There were a couple things he hadn't really done before he did them today with Sam in jest. His brain knew it was a joke but at that moment he could feel her pulse on his tongue and he didn't care that it was fake. He just hoped that he'd be able to guess how long was the right amount of time.

Her heart beat faster and harder the longer he went on, and she curled her arms around his neck and pulled her whole body flush against his.

Eddie held back an involuntary moan when he felt her fingers go through his hair. He let go of his hold and moved down a little without thinking and latched on again, making another bruise that would linger after today and remind him that this actually happened

His tongue darted out to taste her skin and he heard her audibly gasp out a moan. When she heard herself do that he felt her stiffen and the magic was broken and she pulled away, all business again.

She swallowed hard and didn't say anything, trying to look like she wasn't blushing hard. Eddie expected to feel the same, like a blushy stuttery mess, but instead all he could do was stare at her neck and the glistening discs of his saliva where he had just been. His hand was still on her hip and he decided not to move it. He wasn’t sure where it was coming from, but he was feeling cocky as hell.

Sam's breath kept stuttering as she became extremely aware of Eddie's hand burning a hole into her hip and his thumb stroking ever so slightly.

He was staring at her lips. Every semblance of this being fake was gone from his face and replaced with what she could only describe as lust. That wasn't a look that she had ever seen from Eddie before or ever expected to.

Sam liked Eddie.

She had admitted that to herself but it wasn’t the kind of crush that wouldn’t go away on its own eventually. Sure, she tested the waters with a little flirting now and then and he hadn't seemed receptive, she straight up asked him out once but when the day came it was clear that he was just expecting to hang out like usual, so she dropped it, figuring he wasn't into her and that was that.

That was fine, and she would say that she was almost over it at this point.

But now he was looking at her like this and her breath started to feel thick in her throat and every fluttery feeling she ever had when he smiled were back all at once. He looked like he was about to kiss her and now was just deciding how- and all she had to do was decide if she would let him.

Every logical part of Eddie's brain was turning off in favor of some kind of weird caveman dude instincts he had never actually felt before. Everything he knew was true about how this was all just an elaborate joke was suddenly so unimportant it may as well have not happened at all. The only thing that happened was his mouth on her neck and her little moan when he tasted her pulse.

When she bit her lip his control broke, and he lunged forward, stopping dead in his tracks when she leaned back. Shit. His brain stopped working all of a sudden, and the reality of what just happened was suddenly very present in the tiny closet.

"What are you doing? We're alone, remember?" She said a little nervously. And Eddie swallowed awkwardly.

His mind raced trying to get himself out of this situation that he probably shouldn’t have agreed to in the first place- He just needed an explanation now or she'd think he was an idiot.

"Uh, sorry. I was just thinking that uh-" He stammered and her nerves slowed down at the more familiar persona.

"Lipstick." He said, like it explained everything. "You're wearing lipstick. If we were uh- I just thought- it would- it would be on me.” he swallowed hard.

"Oh, sure. Right." She said, accepting the weak excuse with a nod.

He wasn't actually into her. That was fine.

What wasn't fine was the possibility that he had just sucked on her neck for a couple minutes and now he was horny and she was standing 4 inches away. Sam was plenty happy as his friend or maybe his girlfriend if things ever turned in that direction, but for her there wasn't room for anything physical without the rest. Except for what they had already done, she supposed. She shook herself a little as the images flashed in her mind.

Maybe today she could indulge herself a little.

"Hold still." She said, and leaned forward to press her mouth against his neck and Eddie bit his lip to hold back a groan. She bowed her head a little more to make sure that her bottom lip grazed his t-shirt to leave a stain. When she stood back upright she almost smiled at the nervous face he was making again.

She put her fingers against her lip and wiped off a little of what was left, then reached out to Eddie and dragged her fingers across his lips and across the corner just enough to be noticeable. He knew she'd be able to feel how heavy he was breathing.

"There we go. Very convincing." She said, and he nodded.

"You're still not smudged, though." He said softly, raising his hand and grazing his thumb on her bottom lip to pull a bit of color downward.

Eddie felt like there was no more air left in the little closet when he stared at her in the dim light. Her shirt button was wrong, her hair messed up, her lipstick smeared and dark spots started to emerge on her neck where his mouth had been. She looked perfectly scandalous and he really wished that what everybody was bound to think when they came out was true. He supposed it sort of did.

"How do I look?" She asked in a raspy voice.

He didn't have the words to answer in a way that didn't give away how fucking hot he thought she looked right now so he just nodded and she smiled. She checked her watch and missed up his hair a little more and flipped his collar so it was uneven.

"Time to head back out." She said a little more confidently, and he nodded- but as they both reached for the door they heard a sound in the garage.

"Sam? Are you in here?" Somebody's voice asked, and she felt a panic.

"What's wrong?" Eddie whispered.

"If they open the door and we're just standing here that would be weird right?" She responded.

She glanced at the door and heard the footsteps coming closer, he shrugged helplessly.

"Kiss me!" She whispered urgently, and she didn't have to ask him twice.

Just for show, so they could get caught.

That's all that it was.

But that didn't stop him from opening his mouth and swiping his tongue across hers, and it didn't stop her from responding in full, pulling herself closer to him.

Then they were really kissing. Neither one remembered the ruse or the impending intruder, because all that mattered was this closet and tongue and teeth and her hand in his hair and the fistful of her shirt he had grabbed a hold of like an anchor. Their bodies pressed against each other and without thinking he leaned forward more and pressed her against the closet wall, bumping a few shelves but neither of them cared.

She pulled herself up higher and her entire body was bent against his and he kissed his way down her neck and back up to her lips.

Eddie was pretty sure could feel everything in existence right now. He wanted her. He always knew he liked her, she was cute and he wanted to kiss her and hold her hand but this was different. As his tongue tasted hers he wanted them to consume each other.

Eddie didn't do this. Ever. Not that he'd never had the chance, there were one or two opportunities that he knew if he had worked for it he could've ended up here.

He was almost at a place where he thought he didn't want it. Thoughts and fantasies were different than actually being in the room with somebody else but all at once it was like another man entirely. One that was smoother and hotter and knew exactly what to do with a girl this beautiful to make sure that he never had to stop kissing her like this.

The door swung open and they flew apart, staring guiltily at a shocked cousin, who shut the door quickly and shouted "somebody's here to see you. I'd clean up a bit, though"

Sam looked a bit alarmed at the whole situation, but Eddie's heart hammered in his chest when he looked at her puffy lips and smeared lipstick. She had disheveled herself on purpose before but the way she looked now was undeniably scandalous. Almost enough to convince him the moment wasn’t already gone and that they could stay in here a little while longer.

-----

As they walked back out they heard a round of laughter and greetings and just as she was about to come around the corner Sam froze and started backing up.

"What's wrong?"

"Samantha- There you are! Look who dropped in!" Her mother's voice rang out and Sam quickly patted her hair down as into place as she could and pulled her sweater around her to hide her mismatched buttons and quickly tried to wipe away the lipstick without looking in the mirror. When her mother came over and guided her towards the center of the room. Eddie's eyes followed her to see the single most handsome dude that had probably ever stepped foot in Hawkins. He was dressed formally enough to fit in with the crowd but still seemed undeniably relaxed and cool. Whoever he was, Eddie felt like their evening was about to get even more complicated.

The man paused for a moment when he saw the disheveled Sam and he saw her shoulders tense and her cheeks begin to burn until he grinned and scooped her into a hug, spinning her around like a movie. She squealed in delight and Eddie knew that he might as well just go home now, because she was about to have other priorities than their little prank.

Eddie knew he wasn't actually Sam's boyfriend.

Eddie knew that he knew he wasn't actually her boyfriend.

He knew that.

But this asshole was at least 6'4 and was staring at her face like she hung the moon in the sky before he hugged her again.

"Holy shit, Connor- how are you? How was Europe? Oh my god you need to tell me everything. C'mon, let's go sit down." Sam said excitedly, grabbing two glasses of wine and ushered Connor away while shielding him from her family.

Eddie was suddenly very aware of the pitying and amused glances he was getting from people- as well as the gooey ones that were cast in the direction of the happy couple. He wanted to say something. Be rude or crass or funny, but all of a sudden he was uncharacteristically at a loss for words, so he just followed Sam.

For a second he just watched them, and it stung a little to see them talking so naturally that he almost considered just walking out the door. Looking at her face right now told him that she might not even notice he was gone.

I'm not her real boyfriend, Eddie repeated to himself again as Sam leaned in close while laughing and Connor put a hand on her knee.

Finally, the guy glanced up and saw Eddie, tilting his head at the strange invasive species in this bougie landscape. When Sam noticed the distraction she followed his gaze and her expression when she saw Eddie made it abundantly clear that she had completely forgotten that he was even here. Should've run while I had the chance, he thought.

"Eddie! Come and join us, Connor was just telling me about his work trip." She said joyfully and took a sip of her wine.

Eddie sat down next to her, feeling bitterly like an afterthought.

"Eddie, this is Connor, Connor this is Eddie." She said without detail which he supposed was fine for her. Eddie didn't need to be told that this guy was her ex and she obviously didn't want to find out that he was her "boyfriend".

"Nice to meet you, Eddie." He said and stuck out his hand. Eddie had never really understood what people meant when they said that handshakes were important but he got it now. He understood and he felt completely outmatched by just a short shake of his hand.

"Your vest is inside out." He said clearly, and Eddie could feel himself shrink a little in embarrassment, shrugging it off and flipping it around.

"Love the battle vest, by the way. Dio is great and they're great dudes too." He said amicably and Sam grinned at him like she expected him to smile back.

"Uh, yeah, they're great- you don't strike me as much of a metalhead." He said with a fake grin and he hated the way that he and Sam glanced at each other, remembering a story with just a look.

"I really like all kinds of music. I mean, I have to, it's kinda my job. I'm a music journalist, that's why I was in Europe. I was going around and meeting bands and interviewing them for our magazine. Lots of metal bands around there- oh! I met Ozzy Osbourne, are you a Black Sabbath fan?" He asked, and Eddie clenched his fist as subtly as he could.

Since this guy came in Eddie had been trying to convince himself that he didn't know why he felt really hostile towards him seemingly without reason. Of course, Eddie knew that the reason was because he had a crush on Sam and this guy was apparently a lab grown dreamboat- but now he told himself it was because he met Ozzy and Eddie didn't. Eddie knew he deserved it more.

"Yep. Big fan." He said with a grimace, caught between needing to know absolutely everything that Ozzy said and also not wanting to hear this guy talk anymore.

He started to tell them the story about doing shots with Black Sabbath and Eddie was, unfortunately, hanging on his every word; or he was until he glanced at Sam and saw that she was too. Without thinking he reached out and put his arm around her making her jump in surprise and making Connor pause his story so briefly they almost didn't clock it.

Connor continued to recount the night at a more uneven pace and slowly took his hand off of Sam's knee and leaned back, swallowing hard. Connor glanced at her again and his eyes zeroed in on the hickey on her throat and the lipstick on his shirt collar. Eddie leaned back cockily and put a hand on Sam's knee. She glanced at him with a frown but Eddie just shrugged. She turned back to Connor with a tight smile and crossed her legs to shoo his hand off her thigh.

"I'm actually in a band, you know. I don't just write about them." He said out of nowhere, and Connor raised his eyebrows.

"Oh yeah? Are you any good?"

"They're great- they play at the Hideout on Tuesday nights you should come this week!" Sam said enthusiastically, and Eddie's heart swelled a little bit at her appreciation, but it was instantly diminished by the superior glance that Connor gave him.

"We play plenty more places than that-we did a concert in Indianapolis last month, remember? Sold out crowd." He mused, and Sam no longer looked amused by all the lying, reaching to rub her ear again. She glanced at Connor apologetically in a way that made Eddie feel like a kid acting out.

"Eddie, you don't have to do this right now." She leaned in and whispered. He could tell that Connor heard.

"Do what? Make sure this mouth breather knows he can't just come in and steal my girl?" He asked with a laugh so douchey he surprised himself and felt kinda grossed out. He shouldn't have said that, he knew it as soon as it left his mouth and really knew it when he saw her face.

Connor rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, wanting to get Eddie out of this conversation. He snapped his fingers as if he remembered something, and pointed at Sam.

"I got you a present. I forgot it in my car, do you wanna come with me to go get it?" He asked hopefully, and Sam quickly stood up, as did Eddie.

"Well just be a second, Eddie, you don't have to come." She said quickly and he was rooted to the spot as she walked out the door without him.

Sam walked next to Connor, smiling at his scruffy hair in the sunlight like no time had passed.

"I'm really glad you're back. I missed you." She said to him softly, and he smiled at her. Sam had told herself that she was over him. He left. That's what happened, she had to remind herself again. And again. But God that face made it easy to forget that he had hurt her.

"I missed you too. " He said fondly, and she looked at him and knew he wasn't done. "I missed you a lot, actually. More…than I ever expected." He said softly, then glanced at the house.

"Look, I told myself that if I came back and you had a boyfriend then I wouldn't tell you this but-" He looked at the house and sighed. "If you want me gone and out of your hair I'll go."

"No! Don't go! I mean- things with Eddie are…y'know, whatever! It's barely even…a thing." She said, trying to explain without giving away her lie, feeling a little guilty all of a sudden for ditching him inside when he was here as a favor.

He looked at her for a long time before he sighed "I don't know what that means- But I remember what a big deal it was to bring me to Thanksgiving so I'm sure it must be serious." He grumbled.

"I mean, yes, fuck- it's complicated." She tried.

"Complicated." He repeated, and she nodded.

When he shook his head she almost told him the truth right there, but suddenly the whole thing felt very….childish. Embarrassing. She didn’t like feeling childish around him.

"You said you got me something?" She asked gently, changing the subject. His face was still a little sad but he lit up at the words and opened up his car, digging through a bag until he took out a small wrapped box with a note on top that said for Sam.

Eddie didn't deny that he was pouting, glancing out the window at the angle where he could still see them talking.

He was mad. He didn't like anger. Too uncomfortable. Eddie didn't like being mad for a stupid reason, but no matter how stupid he felt he was still watching her talk to that guy and getting himself more worked up by the second. He had never met somebody so pleasant and so hateable, and whatever she just unwrapped must've been good because by the look on her face that little box had her greatest heart's desire. Her grin was so wide and soft and genuine as she glanced down at it a few times and back up at Connor like she couldn't believe anybody could've done what he just did for her.

Eddie kinda hated that guy.

His heart felt like it was being squeezed. He had been so good at holding this stupid crush back but he had never actually seen what she looked like in love. Now it was all he wanted. Now he was pretty sure he would die happy if she looked at him like that once, and he'd haunt the mortal plane for all eternity if he never got the chance.

He watched her gentle smile as she looked both ways before leaning up and gently pecking him on the lips. I'm not actually her boyfriend, he repeated to himself, though it did nothing for the sting.

"Damn, that's gotta hurt, buddy." Somebody that Eddie hadn't noticed behind him said, also looking out the window.

"I'm Sam's cousin, Greg. I'm sure Sam likes you for some reason, but I put ten bucks down that you wouldn't stand a chance once Aunt Vanessa called Connor."

"She called him? Like…after I got here?" He asked not entirely surprised but not entirely unoffended either.

"That doesn't actually surprise you, right? It's gotta be pretty clear that you don't fit in here. Besides, she and Connor were always going to be a better fit. He's perfect for her." He said, taking a sip of his wine.

Eddie was playing a part. All day he had been purposefully acting like the shittiest boyfriend possible. He knew that.

But also who the fuck was this guy to say that Ken Doll was a better match for Sam?

"Yeah, that's probably true." He said, standing up with a groan and taking the glass of wine right out of her cousin's hand and downing it in one.

"But I'm still the one she invited, and this" He pulled on the collar of his shirt. "Is still her lipstick. " He said, and handed the empty glass back to the cousin. Heading back to the main crowd , Eddie felt a scene in the making building up him, and honestly no idea what form it would take.

"Vanessa! I got a story I bet you're gonna love" He shouted, and saw everybody look at him in confusion. He sauntered over cockily, with an arm raised in greeting. He didn't even know what he was doing anymore; it was like the douchebag he had been pretending to be had taken over his impulses and the real Eddie was just on autopilot.

He forced his way into the group of people with his elbows and fished a joint out of his pocket and lit it.

"So- I was just thinking that you know who you look just like?" He asked, a little drunk now, maybe exaggerating just how much.

"Who?" She asked sternly, and glanced around. Eddie unfortunately noticed the little smile when she saw that Sam and Connor were gone and it did nothing for his mood.

"The queen of England!" He said proudly, and she blanched.

"I'm sure he means Dianna, love." Her husband whispered and Eddie laughed.

"I did not mean Dianna. Hey- Are those real pearls?" He asked loudly and took one of the hors d'oeuvres and shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

"Uh, yes." She said, hoping that would be an end to it.

"God what a waste of money. You know they make plastic white balls now, right? And everything in this house is so expensive and gaudy and did anybody ever mention that expensive isn't the same as tasteful?" He said, quoting Sam's description of the house from a few days ago.

"How dare you speak to me that way. You are a guest in my house and-"

Eddie stopped listening when he heard the door open and he looked towards it to see Sam and Connor walking in. They were making eyes at each other that they were obviously trying to hide but they fooled nobody. Eddie felt a little sick.

Sam's eyes got a little wide when she saw how angrily everybody was looking at Eddie and didn't know why she didn't like it. She knew she had invited him here to be a menace but the look on his face seemed….real. She didn't like it, it wasn't a face that suited him. He broke into a somewhat drunken and a little bit sarcastic grin.

"And there she is. I was just wondering who my beautiful girlfriend got off with. I mean off to." He said with a laugh at his own joke, and slung his arm around her.

"Calm down, man. We were just catching up." Connor said cautiously. Eddie resented the correct notion that he needed to get himself together and blocked out the command.

"Alright, you can't expect me not to get pissed when some dickhead like you tries to seduce my damn girlfriend." He said. Is this what douchebags felt like all the time? Eddie kinda hated how good it felt.

"Hey, c'mon man." Connor said softly, and suddenly Eddie felt like a villain. Like he was one of the creeps that hit on Sam at the Hideout he had to scare away by putting his arm around her like he was now. No, not like he was now. When his arm hit her shoulders then he would feel them instantly relax. Now she was stiff as a board, all because of him. He took his arm off to see if that made this ugly feeling go away.

It didn't.

Maybe just continuing to dig would do the trick. He might feel better, even if that plan was doomed to fail.

"Yeah. C'mon, maaaan." He said, gesticulating his body and hands while he said it "I mean damn you'd think a guy as cool as you would know that coming to dinner with the intention of breaking up your exs relationship just because her mom called you is fucked up. You have to realize that, right?" Sam's head snapped to Connor and saw him looking furious.

"Really? You're saying you don't understand why I thought coming over would be a good idea when Vanessa called me and told me that Sam's new boyfriend is a drug dealer? I was just coming to make sure she wasn't being beaten or some shit." He said.

Even though he had been nothing but a creep all night long it still hurt that Sam wasn't sticking up for him like she always did.

"That's the only reason you're here, huh? Doesn't have anything to do with your little gift or how you kissed her outside?" He said, and the spectators gasped.

Sam's eyes snapped to him furiously and full of hurt and back to Connor's apologetically.

Eddie felt sick. He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have said any of that.

What the hell was wrong with him today that made it impossible for him to just stop talking?

She just shook her head and walked in the other direction, and Eddie quickly followed.

"Uh-uh, I think you've done enough." Connor said, putting a firm hand on Eddie's shoulder to hold him back, but he violently shook it off.

"Don't fuckin touch me, man." He growled and stomped after her.

"Sam! Wait up." He said as he chased her down the hallway. She didn't stop.

"Sam- Shit, cmon, just talk to me. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Give it a fucking rest, Eddie." She said, turning around, sighing.

She heard footsteps and rolled her eyes, grabbing his wrist and dragging him into the nearest bedroom and locking the door.

"What has gotten into you?" She asked angrily.

"I'm doing what you told me to do, remember?" He said back in a dark voice. Now that they were alone he didn’t want to talk anymore. He wanted to put his face in his hands and scream into a pillow at how stupid and tangled up his feelings had gotten in the last couple of hours.

"Oh fuck off, you know that's not true. What you're doing now isn't…fun. Like, at all. What changed when Connor got here?" She was annoyed and hurt and he could hear it in every syllable.

"Because he- he obviously wants you back." He said, feeling like an idiot. There was no way to explain what was wrong without just saying it and everything he said would dig him deeper into this stupid hole but climbing out seemed a lot harder.

"Okay? Why do you care?" The fact that she was so confused made him feel even smaller. Like his stupid brain had been building up a stupid romantic narrative while she had still been playing the agreed upon game

"Because why would you want to get with a guy that tried to get you to cheat on somebody? That sucks- everybody knows you shouldn't do that." He tried, just saying the first thing that came into his head now.

"Okay sure but if the person I'm dating is a total lunatic I think it's reasonable to be concerned." She explained in frustration.

"I'm only acting how you wanted me to!" he said desperately.

"I know you are. You're here to act like a shitty boyfriend, why on earth would it bother you that Connor thinks so too?" He hated how confused she was, and hated how frustrated he was getting even more.

"I don't care that he thinks I'm a dick, I care that he kissed you." He blurted out.

"Why?" She shouted.

"Because I'm jealous, Sam! Obviously I'm fucking jealous- You kiss somebody else like an hour after your tongue was in my mouth and you really can't figure out why I might be kinda mad about that?" He scanned her face for any acknowledgement that he wasn't imagining things, but he knew that her poker face was nearly unbeatable.

"It wasn't real." She insisted. Eddie laughed humorlessly. That one stung. He didn't try to hide it.

"Jesus, I'd love to find out what a real kiss with Sammy Campbell's like if that was just for show. Connor must be walking on fucking air right now!"

His feelings were raging in his ears and his cognitive dissonance was overpowering, because he knew what had happened. He knew what he had felt and he had been so sure that she felt it too, but now he was left with two options, and he didn't like either, because either Sam was lying to him, or he just…didn't know her the way he thought he did. The second possibility hurts more. The thought that he had misread a situation so badly with somebody he was closer to than just about anybody was worrying.

"Oh fuck you. You can't suddenly get all pissed off and possessive because you got horny from making out with me for show. I let Connor kiss me because he actually likes me and wasn't just turned on and feeling confident because acting like a dick made you feel like a red blooded American man for the first time in your life. You don't get to use me like that just because you're getting a kick out of it. That's not fun for me, alright? That's not fair." She said, swallowing hard and looking hurt.

"Is that really what you think is happening right now?" Eddie felt overwhelmingly far away from her. Is that really what she thought? Was that really what she had felt when they kissed?

"What the hell else am I supposed to think? You've never shown any interest in me before now, you never reciprocated any of my flirting every time I've tried to ask you out, you just assume we're just chilling- and now you're suddenly jealous of Connor? That just…that sucks, Eddie." She said, defeated, and Eddie stared at her in shock.

"Wait- when were you flirting with me? You're interested in me?" He said, feeling like he had just missed the last step on a staircase. Instead of explaining, she rolled her eyes.

"Well…I was." He said, and his heart froze in place. "But whatever it is that's going on now?…no. I don't like this."

He felt like the floor was falling out from under him at the realization that he had already had and summarily blew his shot with her without even realizing he was even up to roll.

"Sure. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Ole 6'2 Connor over there wants to take you to Europe." He said, too bitterly for her to hear all the hurt building up inside of him. He had never been the type to lash out at people when he was upset but right now all he wanted to do was get mad and have his anger make him feel better.

"Yeah, and I'm sure that the fact that you are suddenly into me has nothing to do with the fact that you get insecure around real grown ups because you start to feel like a loser."

Eddie shook his head in frustration. She was right, but hypocritical as hell and they both knew it.

"Since when do you give a shit that somebody's got a 401k and a real damn job? Pretty sure that you're the one cutting class with me to smoke in your van- if I'm a loser, so are you." He said.

Both of them stared at each other with the overwhelming feeling that they had fucked up. They could see each other's hurt etched all over their faces.

"Whatever, Eddie." She said, sounding exhausted and shaking her head as she walked away, leaving him alone in the fancy room feeling like an asshole.

----

She hurried out of the room and down the hallway, needing some air and feeling like she was gonna pass out. She just wanted to go home and erase this entire day from her mind and start fresh with Eddie in the morning and her stomach felt sick when she realized that wasn't going to happen.

"Whoa, there you are- are you okay? Connor asked, jogging up to her.

"I'm fine." She said tersely and stepped outside.

"You don't sound fine. What did that creep say to you?"

She paused, still having the impulse to defend Eddie even though for the first time she felt like it was kinda warranted.

"It's complicated." She grumbled.

"Look, Sam- I wasn't gonna say anything because I know that you're dating him but…If you don't think you can get away from him or if he's hurting you or-"

"What? No, no, he's being a dick but…" She paused, glancing up at the window of the room she had left him and seeing his hair pressed against the window, hitting the back or his head against it repeatedly. At least he also felt like shit. That was some consolation.

"He's actually a really sweet guy." She said with a sigh and a frown. What a terrible day she thought bitterly. She just hoped that their friendship wasn't over, but she wasn't sure if she could get past him just… wanting to touch her. Nothing else. It's not like he had denied it when she said it. But at the same time she knew Eddie, and every second since she stormed away she was more and more sure that she had missed something.

"He doesn't seem that sweet to me. In fact, he seems like a total and complete douchebag."

"Yeah…" She said in agreement, and glanced up at the window, seeing him there still. She wondered what he was thinking about. She wondered if it would make her feel better if he told her.

"Can I tell you a secret?" She asked, glancing sidelong at Connor, really fucking tired of the ruse all of a sudden.

"Always."

She smiled with a little remorseful laugh.

"Eddie's not really my boyfriend. He's just my friend and I was pissed because my mom didn't notice that I took off for a year so we thought it would be funny if he came in here and acted insane and caused a scene." She whispered, and he tilted his head in confusion, drawing his eyes to her very obvious hickey. Sam put her hand over it and blushed.

"We…we were just putting on a show. Really." She insisted, but he wasn't convinced. She didn't sound convinced either.

"Does he know that? Because fake boyfriend or not he seemed real jealous."

She sighed. "That's probably just because you met Ozzy."

"He's into you."

"No…he's not. He just got carried away." She said, convincing herself it was true.

"Sam-"

"Seriously. He's just acting like a jerk because I asked him to and I've been pretending to act like I was annoyed all evening so he probably just didn't notice when I was actually mad. Eddie's a total sweetheart in real life." She insisted, and saw his shoulders relax. She didn't know why she wasn't telling him about the argument they just had. Maybe part of her was still hoping Eddie would make it up to her.

"I'm really glad to hear that. I was worried about you for a second but I knew you'd never go out with some garage band stoner drug dealer super senior freak." He said, and she paused

"Well, I mean...those parts are true." She said cautiously. "But I don't think there's anything wrong with any of tht." She said defensively.

"Seriously? What isn't wrong with those things? You can do better than that loser."

She crossed her arms and scowled, knowing exactly how many of those words described her too.

"If he's a loser for being a stoner freak that took an extra year to graduate then maybe you can do better than a loser like me." She said crossly.

"Jesus, you know I wasn't talking about you." He said, annoyed that she wasn't getting it.

"What's the difference? If it makes him a loser then why not me?"

"Because you don't have to act like that."

"But I like acting like that." She said firmly.

"If we got back together you wouldn't hang out with that guy anymore so you wouldn't act like that." She leaned back in surprise, seeing him more clearly now.

"Shut up, you know I didn't mean that." He was annoyed now, and she was pissed.

"So I just should change myself for you?"

"Don't tell me to shut up!"

"You're right, I'm sorry- I just don't understand how you can't see that the guy is a freak! He's a criminal for Christ's sake!"

Sam paused. "Wait- how did you know all that about Eddie? Oh my god- my mom did call you- is that why you're here?

"No! I came to see you, obviously. I already told you that."

"How long have you been in town?" She asked flatly.

"Is that really important right now? Isn't what's important that I'm better for you than that loser inside?"

"How long. Have you. Been. In. Town?" She asked again, and he signed.

"About three weeks." He said in resignation.

"Three weeks? You've been in Hawkins for three weeks and you didn't call me? God you're such a dick. You're only here because you got jealous, is that it? You didn't even think about calling me until you heard I was with somebody else and you came right over."

"That's not true."

"You sure? You sure that the second I said Eddie wasn't my real boyfriend you didn't want me as bad?"

"No, you're right about that part. Hearing you tell me that you're doing something this childish does make me want you less. I mean, Christ Sam, you're almost 20 now, you're too old for this." He said condescending.

"Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm being childish and stupid and immature or maybe when you were 21 you were a little too old to be dating a 17 year old in high school. Maybe I'm immature and childish because I graduated four fucking months ago."

"Yeah well I wouldn't have dated you if I had known you'd be a bitch about it forever."

"Jesus Christ. I cannot believe I was happy to see you."

Just then a head popped out the door "Dinner time! Come inside you two!"

They looked at each other grimly and she walked in first, and he reluctantly followed.

Eddie was still there. She didn't really expect that, though she supposed she was glad because he was still her ride. He looked kinda miserable but when he caught her eye he gave her a tiny apologetic smile that she struggled to return. She just wanted to leave and have this all be over.

They passed around the dishes to quiet small talk as she sat in silence next to Eddie where their place cards were.

"Man, am I glad I didn't fill up on wine and horse doovers." Eddie said loudly, and she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, tilting her head.

"Oh fuck and these rolls." He said, grabbing a few with his hands. "Y'know, I've had kind of a hard time eating bread lately." He said just as loud, and she and a few others looked at him in confusion.

"That sounded weird- it wasn't really. See, what happened is I was doing a little acid, as you do, trying to find the bathroom at Rocellis Pizza in East Hawkins and I tripped like a moron and fell out the window into a dumpster. Then the lid slammed shut but something soft caught my fall and eventually I realized it was pizza dough. But the thing is, dough doesn't stop rising just because you throw it away. So here I am, the asshole trapped in a dumpster all night long with a giant blob of dough expanding under me until I was pressed against the lid and the trash guy found me the next day." He said matter of factly, and Sam looked at him with her lips pulled between her teeth and eyebrows raised.

"That sounds…harrowing." Cousin Greg said, and Eddie nodded and made a gesture that was clearly meant to look like dropping his roll on the ground had been an accident. He bent down and picked it up off the floor to took a huge bite out of it as her family looked on horrified.

His big brown eyes found Sam's and saw a cautious smile and knew he was on the right track.

He grabbed a dish out of somebody's hand and scooped too much onto his plate and started eating it right away.

"God this is good- what is this anyway?" He said with his mouth full and he grinned when he heard Sam breath out a laugh at her relatives' faces.

"Green bean casserole." Somebody said dryly, and Eddie looked at him blankly.

"Nuh-uh- beans are small and brown. These look like green French fries from a tree." He said the most ridiculous thing he could think of plainly, and heard Sam's first laugh.

He reached into his pocket and dug around until he found what he seemed to be looking for, and pulled out a French fry, and held it up next to the green bean.

Sam had forgotten about the pocket fries. He told her they were for pigeons because he liked to feed them while he ate fast food in parking lots. She had never seen him eat one, but she suspected he sometimes did. She hadn't expected it to come out today, though and the sight broke through any hesitation she had left to react. She laughed aloud and quickly covered her mouth.

"Look at them, they’re pretty much identical. Is it really a bean?" He leaned toward Sam and showed her, eyeing her face as it was becoming more joyful by the second.

"See? Same size." He said in an almost childlike voice, holding the examples in front of his face and blinking at her a few times. He knew the eye contact would be what got her when she instantly exploded into giggles. Eddie grinned victoriously but refused to drop his act this time. This was what he was here for.

"I'm starting to understand why you were held back twice." Connor grunted from across the table.

Eddie popped the pocket fry in his mouth and waved his bean on fork wielding hand in a dismissive gesture flinging some wet crumbs at a random family member.

"It was totally political." He said with a shake of his head, now being the one trying to keep a straight face as he heard Sam keep giggling beside him.

"Hey, can you pass me the wor-chestee-shire please?" He said as incorrectly as he could.

"That's gravy. It's in a gravy boat. Why would there be Worcester sauce in a gravy boat?" Her mother said judgmentally, scowling at her daughter whose laughter was now completely unstoppable, with a few other family members beginning to join in.

"What the fuck is a gravy boat?" He asked in as bothered a tone as he could, and he grinned when Sam's step dad tried to hide a short laugh.

"Oh, Sammy- did I ever tell you about that time that I-heh-" He began to laugh when he saw her and heard that all too contagious giggle of hers and willed himself to persevere. For her sake, he would be strong.

"Did I ever tell you about the time that I was standing on the cafeteria tables and I slipped on the mashed potatoes-" She clearly remembered it herself by the way she doubled over.

Eddie wasn't stopping himself from giggling now.

"I got a concussion-" He managed to eek out and heard another howl of laughter beside him.

He remembered that weird fire inside of him when they were standing in that closet. Like... he was being a douchebag and asserting himself and the confidence had felt good. The anger felt righteous.

But that burn had nothing on what he was feeling right now making her laugh.

His veins were being filled up with helium and he thought he might float away without the hand she had just slipped onto his shoulder to steady herself in her hysteria.

"And- and you got food all over you- and I ditched class with you-" She struggled to get through her part of the story, but he wanted to hear it from her. "And you just walked to the river and fucking lay down in it."

"Then what happened?" He said encouragingly, grinning at her unstoppable giggles.

She tried to speak but she was too far gone and exploded instead, laughter turning silent, so he looked over the family as calmly as he could.

"She was gonna say a fisherman cast his line and caught my hair. Thought I was a big ass trout. Took a week to get out the hook without cutting the hair."

He grinned at the giggling breakdowns of her family members, the disgruntled look of her mother and Connor, and the absolute joy radiating from Sam as she laughed.

He looked at her with eyes so full of affection her laughter quickly dissipated into a soft smile at him. It was the same look she had at whatever Connor had given her outside. Like she couldn't believe he would know just what to say to make her happy.

"Sammy. I'm so sorry. I was a total dick and I just got jealous of this creep because he seemed too perfect and I got insecure and that's no excuse but I’m sorry and I promise to never start reacting to things like that because I didn’t like it…but I do like you. Like actually. A lot. It wasn't just because we made out in the closet earlier. I've liked you for months now." He admitted, and his heart got warm when he saw her smile growing.

There were murmurs across the table.

"I thought they were already dating." Charles whispered to Sam's mom, who shrugged in confusion.

"I like you too, Eddie. A lot. And trust me, Connor isn't perfect. Far from it he's actually a complete douche bag." She said in a heartfelt tone.

"I'm right here." Connor complained, and was ignored, and she glanced at him nodding to say I know and listen to every mean we are going say to you.

"I was really hoping he was a dick, but that didn't make me less of a jerk today. I'm sorry, Sam." He apologized, and his heart skipped a beat at her grin.

"I forgive you, and I'm sorry for almost ditching you for Connor the Creep."

"Seriously?" Connor asked, offended.

"Let's get out of here." She said softly, and he grinned. They both stood up and Eddie bowed deeply to a few rebellious scattered claps. He scooped up a couple more servings of food onto his plate and they waved goodbye as they left.

As they walked out of the house out into the autumn air it felt like they had gone into another dimension where her family didn't didn't exist.

They didn't say anything, just smiled at each other softly. But before he began to walk to the car, Eddie transferred his full, uncovered plate to his other hand so that he could take hers instead.

Their fingers intertwined and the warmth of their hands knotted up together felt closer than anything that happened in that closet.

It was unambiguously real and anchored them to each other as they walked slowly, stealing nervous glances at each other and smiling to themselves. When they got to the van he put his plate on top of the car and looked at her full on before they got in.

He opened his mouth a few times like he wanted to speak, but only laughed and shook his head when he couldn't think of anything to say.

After a few moments of him staring at her in what could only be described as wonder, Sam laughed and shook her head.

"Cmere." She said, and pulled on his vest lapels until he met her lips with his. Their eyes closed, his arms went around her and her foot popped up romantically. They grinned at each other as they pulled away, brushing their noses slightly.

Sam wished she hadn't caught sight of the window out of the corner of her eye, because as she turned back to the house Eddie did too, and they both awkwardly waved at the hoard of Beauregards watching them from inside. A few waved back.

He grinned and opened the car door for her before jogging around to the driver's seat and getting in.

He turned on the car but couldn't resist going in to kiss her one more time before gunning it down the road accompanying the sound of a crack as they saw the plate of food fly off the roof where he had left it and shatter on the road.

More food for the pigeons.

Thanks for reading!

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@sweet--em @ramona-thorns

#stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #my writing #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie tag #sam

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