#if you live in a world you should know how it works
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shoot an arrow through my heart
max verstappen x reader
there's something you need to hear max say, but you're not sure if he's actually going to say it. you do know one thing though, it was always gonna be you and max.
a/n: started this longer ago than i'd like to admit but here we are! a big thank you to my fave beta reader K and to @scuderiahoney who helped me figure out all the banner image stuff. based on prompt #966 from this list.
masterlist
It starts with Lando. Because doesn’t it always?
Lando says shit he doesn’t mean, Lando says things just for the sake of saying them. Lando says things as if they are fundamentally truths when they are in fact are lies.
And so, one moment you’re hanging out with Lando, letting him talk you down from buying the little trinket of the week you’ve fixated on, and the next he’s saying that Max is in love with you, saying it like it’s a truth, and then moving on as if he hasn’t just tilted your world on its axis.
And then, before you know it, you’re banging on Max’s front door trying to figure out if it’s true or not.
Trying to figure out if your best friend is in love with you.
“Max! Open the door.”
He doesn’t.
You honestly don’t know if you want him to, or what you’re going to do when he does. Or if he even will, Max doesn’t know you’re here and you don’t even know if he’s home.
You’re just about ready to search for the spare key, the one you told him to hide in the firehose down the hallway because having a fake rock in front of his door makes no sense when he lives in an apartment building, when the door is flung open and a very grumpy looking Max, headset in hand, is giving you just about the most fed-up, unimpressed, stare you’ve seen in your life.
“Are you in love with me?” You can’t help it, the words foreign on your tongue but there’s an urgency to get them out and into the space in between you. You’re so desperate to hear him say it back.
Max blinks at you, bewildered at your words. You can see the gears turning in his head trying to work out what you just said and if you’re being honest you don’t know if you should be offended at the fact that the answer isn’t an immediate yes.
His brow furrows and his lips purse, “what?”
A beat passes, and then another, and then the idiot actually has the audacity to close the door.
You roll your eyes, even if he can’t see it you know that he knows that you’re doing it. As you push the exasperation out of your lungs you knock again.
“Max, nuh-uh, that is not going to work, open the door and answer my question.”
Nothing.
You bang your fist on the door one more time for good measure, “Max, you know I know where your spare key is and we both know that I’ll let myself in if necessary.”
It’s true and he knows it.
There have been many nights where you’ve verged on the edge of too far gone and walked from the club to his apartment. Nights where you didn’t want the fun to end so instead of going home you go to Max’s where you can cuddle and coo at Jimmy and Sassy and sit around in comfy clothes and watch as Max putters around doing whatever it was he was doing before you came over.
It’s true. He knows it. But still, he doesn’t open the door.
You sigh and softly thump your forehead against Max’s front door, through the absence of your knocking you can hear his nervous shuffling on the other side. The inquisitive meows from the cats, the faint scrape of the peephole cover as Max checks to see if you’re still there, if you’re still waiting for him.
You would wait for him for forever, but that’s just for you to know really.
Max opens the door again, just the barest amount. Just enough so his eyes, wide and disbelieving can lock onto yours.
They’re so blue, you don’t know how you never noticed it before, so classically storybook blue that you’re really starting to wonder if this is all some kind of weird dream where you’re standing at his doorstep begging to be loved by him, like some kind of cheesy romcom star. Because after all, aren’t you just a girl standing in front of a guy?
“You’re in love with me.”
The words stretch the impossible distance between the two of you. Even when he’s halfway around the globe he’s never felt this far away.
And still, somehow, you feel too close to him. Like somehow all the other versions of you and him have been false proxies to what you’re reaching for right now. Like all of a sudden, somehow, he’s been molded into your every contour of your soul and you don’t want anything else
The door edges open a little wider.
“Are you asking me that or are you telling me?”
He’s stalling, you both know it. But, you can’t really bring yourself to do more than give him a fondly smile and roll your eyes at him. Because you know, if the roles were reversed, if he was the one throwing pebbles like some kind of suave Dutch romeo, demanding to know if you were in love with him, you would be doing the same thing.
“You and I both know how much you like being told what to do.”
With a sigh Max opens the door to his apartment a little wider once more to let you in, “and yet, you’re still here telling me to open my door.”
You can’t really fault him for that one can you?
You make your way to the living room where you settle down on your spot on the couch while Max flits around the living room. Sassy is meowing at Max, desperate for a taste of the outside she only ever gets when the front door opens, and even though he knows she’s not going to make a run for it he still takes the time to half-heartedly shoo her away.
Max does this, dragging his feet, until both of the cats have curled up next to you on the couch and it is only then that he makes his way over to you. Coming to stand behind the armrest on his side of the couch, putting a little too much distance between the two of you for you to not feel spurned by him.
You can hear it in silence between you, you can feel it in the way your body seems to ache from having him in the ways you have him now and not in the ways you want to have him.
You’re not ready to have this conversation.
There’s a part of you that almost wants to say nevermind and forget that you even said anything in the first place. But deep down you know that the two of you have been putting on this elaborate dog and pony show for far too long. You’re only delaying the inevitable.
“So,” you say, nervously running your fingers over the fabric of the couch. “Is it true?”
You try to catch his eye as you say it, not only to try to make sure he doesn't chicken out but to see the reaction he gives. You want to see his soul and know that he means whatever he says.
But Max doges your gaze at every move in a way that makes him look like a kicked puppy. And you’re not really sure what it means but you can feel the way the dynamic has shifted. All of a sudden the two of you are on shaky ground, not sure where you stand with each other. Even though two hours earlier you would have called him your best friend with your entire heart.
“Well?”
“Please,” he says your name, strained and with a weight to it that you don’t quite want to acknowledge, “don’t make me say it.”
You’re not above begging, you really aren’t, but something about the way he sounds makes you falter. Just a little.
“Max,” you say his name softly, “I think you and I both know what your answer is going to be.”
“Then why do you need to hear it so bad?” His words bite, tinged with an anger that you know he doesn't really mean.
“So, I can say it back!” Your words match the sharpness in his and you can see how much they throw Max off kilter.
He blinks at you and then rocks on his feet, first a step forward and then a step back like he’s blown away by the force of what you said. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Why did you never tell me?”
You cross your arms and shrug your shoulders, “it was a personal issue.”
“You being in love with me kind of also involves me.”
You really don’t want to admit that he’s right on with that one.
You huff and shrug your shoulders again, “well it goes both ways, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I asked first,” Max shoots back.
You groan at his response and launch yourself up towards Max in a play attempt to strangle him. “Argh, you’re so!” You drape your arms over his shoulders as you slump against him, head resting in the spot where his shoulder meets his neck, “God I hate you.”
Max laughs underneath you, his arms coming up to wrap around your waist, “you evidently don’t.”
“You're so silly,” you sigh, tilting your head up to look at him. "You want to hear me say it so bad."
Your nose nearly brushes against his, he’s so close you think you could count every single one of his eyelashes if you tried.
Max makes a noise that’s somewhere between exasperated and surprised and you know that you’re toeing the line with your teasing
You always know when to give in when it comes to him.
“Okay, yes, I love you! I love you,” you say, “do you love me?”
“Yeah, I do,” Max says as he moves to cradles your jaw in his hands. “I love you.”
You grin, “good. Now kiss me please.”
And he does. He does and it feels like all the cliche things people say. It feels like coming home, it feels like fireworks are going off in the background, it feels like you were meant to be, that he was made for you just as much as you were made for him.
And you just know. You know that there can never be anyone else but him. That there was a version of you before Max and now there’s going to be a version of you that’s with Max, but there’s never going to be a you after Max.
“I love you.” Softer, quieter this time.
You don’t dare look him in the eye, instead choosing to press your cheek against his and stare out the window of his apartment. Your gaze settles somewhere in the distance as you try to memorize the feel of his body pressed up against yours.
You curl your fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging absentmindedly as you say, “I’m glad that worked out, I didn’t even know you were home.”
He pulls away from you to fix you with a look that is so quintessentially Max, “you have my location on your phone, you’re always stalking me,” he says, punctuating his words with little jabs to your shoulder.
It’s true, and you honestly don’t know why you didn’t try to check his location in the first place, your logic getting lost somewhere in the panic of knowing that he loved you.
“Mhmm.” You shrug noncommittally, trying very hard to ignore the rushing feeling of warmth in your chest that comes with the realization that Max was so ingrained in your life and you in his from the start.
You try not to think about the fact your toothbrush sits next to his in his bathroom, about the fact that your hand automatically gravitates to his favorite spoon in your cutlery drawer, the one you can identify solely based on the weight of it in your hand. You try very hard to think about how you couldn’t separate the love from the friendship.
It was always gonna be you and Max.
There’s a silence between you for a moment. You try to match your breath to his and let the sounds of outside filter through your ears. And for a moment you can hear how the rest of the world keeps turning, even when your world has stopped spinning on its axis.
“So, what now?” Max asks, turning his head to press kisses to your hairline, his hand squeezing your waist. You can feel his nose brush against your temple as he makes his way down, lips featherlight on your skin. The intimacy of it makes your blood sing with electricity.
You pull “Mhmm, you could take me to bed?”
It’s half serious, half a joke. You’ve waited so long to have Max like this that now that you finally do you want him in all ways possible. But still, there’s some young and girlish part of you that wants it to be special.
Max pretends to think about it for a little bit and it’s so impossibly silly that you have to resist the urge to strangle him again for it, “it’s three in the afternoon, I think it’s a little early for sleep.”
“You know that’s not what I mean, stop being a smartass.”
Max smiles, taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together. “Well,” he says, “how about I send you home so you can get all nice and pretty for me and then I’ll come pick you up and take you to a nice dinner, hmm?”
You flush, not just from the way he pours honey, slow and sweet, into your ear, but from the way it feels like this was always meant to be. Like you were always meant to have this, always meant to have him.
“And then,” he says, dropping your hand to pull you in by your belt loops so your hips are press flush against his, “after dinner, that’s when I’ll take you to bed.”
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#mv1 x reader#mv33 x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen fic#mv1 fic#mv33 fic#mv1 x you#mv33 x you#max verstappen#mv1#mv33#f1 fanfiction#f1 fanfic
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Ready, Aim, Shoot (3)
Hi guys!
I post it again, the other one just disappeared without any reason. Sorry if you already red it.
TW : Blood, creepy psychologist, panic attack, angst, depression.
PART 1 | PART 2
Blood. There is blood everywhere. The more you look, the more there is. You look at your shaking hands, cover in red. You don’t know whose blood is it though. The room you are in is only white, adding to the contrast with the blood color. Breathing quickly, you look around and that’s when you finally see her.
Alexia.
Alexia is laying in the middle of the room, her body surrounded by red too. Panicking, you kneel next to her, shaking her to try to wake her. But she doesn’t. She stays still in your hand, not moving. Not breathing. This is when you scream.
You scream so much that it wakes you up suddenly. Heavily breathing, you sit on your bed, blindly trying to find the button on your bedside lamp. You finally managed to find it, but when you put the light on, Alexia isn’t next to you in your bed.
It’s only when you left your room to look for her that you remember. She’s not here tonight, she’s sleeping in Tenerife, where she played today. Or yesterday, because it’s actually three in the morning. It’s the first time she leaves
you alone for all the night since you came back.
Alexia Is not here, but it’s your fault. You assured her that you will be ok, almost pushing her out of your flat. She made you swear to call her if you need her, no matter what time is it. She asked Mapi to come to look for you last night, so you watched the game with the blonde before she went home. You fell asleep quickly actually, you were far to imagine a wake up like that.
You should really call her; she will be disappointed with you if she learns the state of panic you are in without calling her. But you hate the idea to wake her up at this time of the night. She played yesterday, she’s coming home today. She needs to rest.
You find refuge on your couch, putting the TV on. But you can’t forget the picture of Alexia and the blood everywhere. You feel like it’s still on your body, no matter how many times you look at your hands to be sure that you don’t have a little red on you. Thirty minutes after you wake up, you decided to go take a shower.
You pass a long time under it, water burning, washing your body again and again. You ignore the scare that your accident left on your body. You hate them. No matter how many times Alexia kissed them, telling you that you are strong and even more beautiful than before.
You feel guilty as hell when you think about your girlfriend. She is amazing with you, so patient and so loving. You don’t feel like you deserve her. You don’t make any progress with your mental health and it’s disturbing. You even think about breaking up with Alexia one time, disgusting by yourself. She deserves so much more than you. But right after you had a panic attack, because how can you live without her? She’s your whole world.
You are not even strong enough to make the things right for her.
When the feeling of the hot water and the strength with which you rubbed your skin became too much to handle, you stop the water and get out of the shower. This time your skin is red, but you know why.
You pick a hoodie from Alexia and one of her old Barcelona’s short. If you can’t have your girlfriend’s arms, at least you can have her smell. And, after some hesitation, you even take her pillow to go with you to the couch of your living room. You take snack and watch some stupid things on TV while scrolling on your phone.
You are still tired, but you don’t want to take the risk to fall asleep again. You’re terrified to have this dream again. Every time the images came back in your brain, you try to hug Alexia’s pillow harder. It kind of work, but it has nothing to do with Alexia’s comfort.
You fall asleep after 8 o’clock, after your girlfriend told you that they are boarding and that she will be home soon.
You are still asleep when Alexia comes home. She smiles seeing you laying on the couch, cuddle against her pillow, in her clothes. You are watching YouTube now, from her account, and you choose the playlist where she puts all the games she finds interesting. Only putting her suitcase on the ground, she comes to sit next to you, softly stroking your hair.
“Alexia?” you mumble, opening your eyes with difficulty.
“Hi sleepy head”
Her smile is affectionate, and you get up on one elbow to rub your eyes and have a better look at her. Her hairs are down and she seems fine. She seems happy, maybe to see you? The plan was that she takes a taxi with Jana to come back home, Alexia didn’t want you to drive because some noises sometimes make you jump.
“How are you?” Alexia asks softly.
“Can I have a hug?”
She smiles and passes her arms around you to hug you. But you lay on the couch again, taking her with you on it. She giggles and you smile, forgetting for the first time your nightmare.
“I’m glad you’re here” you whisper after some minutes.
“I’m glad to be back to you too.”
You hum, turning a little to pass a lag around her knees and cuddle tighter against her. She’s stroking your back lovingly, sometimes kissing your head. You started to wonder how much mental pressure you are putting on her when she talks again.
“You remember Marta? From the media team?”
“I think I do” you answer, frowning. “Why?”
“She just left for her maternity leave, and she doesn’t know for now if she will come back.”
“Ok?”
You are still frowning when you look at your girlfriend, not understanding where she wants to go. I mean you are happy that people have baby and all. But what does it make a change for you?
It looks like Alexia’s idea was that you apply for the job. You try to escape that idea, not really happy about the idea of meeting tons of people who will know about your story and look at you with pity in their eyes. But Alexia assures you that it won’t happen, adding that you just can go for the interview without saying yes after.
Long story short, you are now sitting on your desk for your first day.
Your job is basically to find idea of activities to anime the games, a little more marketing than journalism to be honest. But it looks fun and like Alexia said before, when Marta will come back, you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.
********
“Hi, I’d like a meeting with the new media manager?”
A voice in front of you make you raise your head, even if you recognize it immediately. Alexia is smirking at you from the door of your office, looking like she just finishes her shower. Which she probably did given the time.
“I’m sorry, but you have to talk to my assistant first, she will give you my time schedule” you smirk back.
Alexia frown slightly, closing the door behind her before coming for you.
“You have an assistant?”
You know that frown and you roll your eyes while standing up to great her like she deserves it.
“Yes, I have” you answer, letting yourself go against her when she takes you in her arms.
She hums, her lips against your hair, trying to look discreetly in the open office by the window. The gesture makes you chuckle and you raise your head to have a better look at her.
“What? I was just looking to know if you knew her, that’s all.”
“Sure, mi Amor.”
She pouts and you kiss it better, just to see the smile she has right after. You weren’t really happy to start to work again to be honest, but you have to admit that it’s a good thing for you to keep your head busy with something. Alexia was right, once again.
“Are you ready to leave? I’m taking you home.”
“I am.”
You take your stuff with you, before letting Alexia passes her arm around your waist to take you with her. You don’t know if it’s only the jealousy talking right now, but you have to admit that she is way more openly affective with you since your accident. Not that you have a problem with it, obviously. But the way her gaze is scanning the room when you left after saying goodbye to your colleagues, it makes you think that there is at least a little part of jealousy in it.
Which is totally stupid, you only see her.
“You seems happier” Alexia says cautiously over her plate that night.
You look at her for some seconds before nodding. You are, but you are scared to mention it in case that it makes your nightmares coming back.
“I am. Thanks to you” you smile softly.
“Are you really? Or are you hiding something for me like when I was away for the game to Tenerife?”
You blush and almost chock on your tomato, but you somehow are able to keep some dignity. You don’t take the time to try to deny her statement though, you know that she knows. Of course she does. She reads you like an open book. Alexia has the decency to not point anything else, waiting patiently for your answer.
“I really am better. You were right, I really needed to get out from here even if it was difficult at first. It’s great to have something to do, not that cooking for you wasn’t entertaining. But going out… It’s great.”
She nods softly, without leaving your face with her eyes. You know immediately that there is something else in her mind, but you don’t push, letting her carry the conversation.
“Do you think I was too suffocating with you? Maybe if I…”
“No!” you cut her after some seconds of incredulity. “Alexia how could you…? Are you joking? You are the reason that I’m still here and mentally good. You are the reason that I keep fighting to be fine again. I couldn’t have done it without you. I forbid you to think of anything like that.”
“I’m sorry. It’s some insecurities and I shouldn’t have told you that” she frowns again, playing with her forks and some pasta left in her plate.
“Alexia, don’t please.”
She looks at you again when you stand up, just to come sit on her lap. She welcomes you by taking you close against her with her arms. You pass your arms around your neck, one of your fingers playing with the baby hair on her neck.
“You are so perfect to me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to thank you enough one day for it. You were always right and done nothing wrong all those days. A lot of people would have abandoned, but you are still here with me.”
“I’ll never abandon you” she mumbles right into your eyes.
You can see how much she means those worlds and you have to take all your strength not to start crying like a baby. You’re pretty sure that your eyes are shining from tears but you busy yourself by stroking her cheek tenderly.
“You said one time that my come back is a miracle, do you remember? Well, you are my miracle.” you add, after she nods.
She kisses you and the way she did makes your head turned. She only let you breath for several seconds when you need air, before kissing you again with even more intensity. You had sex again after some weeks of rehab from your part, but not like you did before your departure. And it’s hard to see Alexia restrain her gestures, scared as hell to hurt you. Tonight though, you feel like that maybe it will come back.
********
It came back.
You are laying on your bed, lovingly enveloped in your girlfriend’s arms. Her skin is so soft against yours, your face hiding in her neck. You are lull by Alexia’s deep and slow breathing and you are starting to wonder if she’s falling asleep when she talks quietly.
“How are you feeling?”
“Great. Safe. Warm.”
“Perfect” Alexia sighs softly, moving a little to be more comfortable on the mattress.
You look up at her, admiring the shape of her jaw, her perfect nose, her beautiful eyes, and her so kissable lips.
“What?” she asks when she sees you staring.
“Nothing” you giggle. “You’re just so beautiful.”
She rolls her eyes before closing them, tightening you harder against her. You don’t need anything than her body to keep you warm and you love it.
“Would you be angry if I stopped working there?”
The sudden question makes her open her eyes again to look at you. She seems to be thinking for several seconds before answering.
“Of course not. Why do you want to stop anyway? Is someone nasty with you?”
“Not at all” you deny, already imagine her hunting the person who would do that to you. “I was thinking that… maybe I could finish one of my book projects?”
“You mean one of your thousand amazing scenario who are desperately waiting on your computer?”
“Exactly that” you answer, rolling your eyes.
She teases you way to much about it already.
“If it’s what you want, of course I’ll support you. But what about going out to meet people?”
You see the worried already and you answer, kissing her cheek.
“I’ll go write into a Café or something. Maybe seeing people, crowd and streets will help me to get idea.”
********
That’s exactly what you did, after finishing your job with the media. The first days, you weren’t really effective, more focused on what’s going on around you and which story you want to choose. After some debate with yourself and help asking to your mother and Alexia, you choose to mix two stories and start writing again. It made you start from the beginning, but it’s maybe better like this.
You still get to your psychiatrist to your session twice a week, always a little more scared to go without Alexia. Your psychiatrist told both of you that it could be good for you to come without your girlfriend. Alexia accepted immediately, always being interested in everything that can make you feel better.
You always have a strange feeling without Alexia’s halo, and it’s only happened when you come here. You don’t have trouble to go grocery shopping without Alexia or go to the Café to write.
It’s particularly hard to come today, you talked to Alexia by the phone before your appointment to ease your stress. She seems to realize that something is wrong, because she talks a lot about her day. She only does that to change your mind, and you love her for that.
“Hello Y/N” your therapist greats you.
You great her back and start talking about your new occupation, your activities since the last time and the travel Alexia proposed to you last night. It was something you can’t stop to think about since she mentioned it, eager to go away for some days in the sun with the woman you love.
“Don’t you think it will be too soon?” the doctor asks, only looking at her notepad.
You are taken aback. You would never have thought that she can be thinking that it’s a bad idea. She never stops to tell you to go ahead and try new things since the beginning.
“Taking a plane, going to an airport, in a place that might remind you of your trauma? What would you do if you have one of your panic attacks there?”
You don’t know what to answer to that. Alexia mentioned Canary Islands and a private hotel with a private beach, which seems far away from the Middle East.
“No, I mean… I’m going better now. And I’ll be with Ale. Everything will be ok.”
She looks at you this time, raising an eyebrow. Her look is sharp, almost mean and you have trouble swallow your saliva. You feel like a schoolgirl getting bullied by her teacher.
“Don’t you think you already lean too much on the poor girl? Maybe she suggests the holidays to have some rest, are you sure she wants you to go with her?”
You don’t really remember the end of the appointment and you don’t know how you managed to find yourself in the Barcelona’s facilities. You can’t think straight anymore, it’s like this woman knew all your insecurities and tell you that you are right to have them.
What if she’s right? What if Alexia can’t stand your presence, your toxics dreams and mental health? You already knew that you weren’t good enough for her and that she deserved better. You can’t believe that you let her makes you believe that she can love you. How can she? How can anyone?
You were turning around to go home when you hear someone call your name.
“Y/N?”
You recognize Mariona through your tears, but you can’t say anything. She doesn’t seem to mind though, carefully taking your arm in her hand.
“What are you doing here? Are you looking for Alexia?”
You try to scream at her to let Alexia alone and not to get you to her, but you can’t. When you don’t say a word, Mariona decides to take you to Alexia. Luckily the Majorcan woman came late today and she knows exactly where to find your girlfriend.
You let Mariona drags you around, hearing her soothing voice without being able to understand what she’s saying. Sweets, encouraging words, for sur. You can’t figure out really what happens next, but after several minutes of walk, you hear Mariona calling your girlfriend’s name. And more seconds after, you are surrounded by her arms, her perfume, everything that is her.
Everything that you don’t deserve.
When Alexia realizes that she’s facing a wall and that you won’t say a word, she takes you home. You are like anesthetized at this point, letting her do what she wants with you. When you are laying on the bed you retake some reality and stare at Alexia who seems to be choosing clothes to put on you after taking a shower.
“I’m breaking up with you.”
The words were lifeless, but you see Alexia froze. She turns in your direction, with eyes wide and the most chocked face ever.
“What?”
“I’m breaking up with you” you repeat, looking at her straight in her eyes.
A silence pass and you see Alexia watching at you, probably waiting for you to say something else. Maybe to explain yourself, but you don’t say another word. Plus, the reasons are obvious, no?
“Are you- don’t you love me anymore?”
She seems broken. That doesn’t make any sense, she is supposed to be relieved, not sad. You don’t understand her reaction, so you shrug before answering.
“That’s not the point, Alexia. You are free. I’m giving you your liberty back.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk? Did someone give you something to you?”
She seems angry now, almost shouting with her eyebrows frown. You frown too, because why the hell won’t she understand? You sit in the bed while she’s still standing in front of you.
“No! I just… Why won’t you…”
Why is your brain suddenly transformed in pudding?
You look at Alexia when she comes to you and takes your face between her hands. She does it with so much care that you want to cry again.
“Why don’t you let me break up with you?” you whisper.
“Because I love you. I told you; I’ll fight for us every day if I have to.”
There we are, you are crying again. But this time Alexia is here, she can take you against her, rock you will you cry and whispers sweets nothing in your ears. She waits for your sobbing to stop, holding you tightly. Only when you can breathe normally again, she speaks.
“What happened?” she asks softly.
You don’t know really where to start, so you just shake your head without answering anything. But she waits, again and again. So, after some minutes, you talk too.
“I just want you to be happy. I know you’ll be happier without me.”
“You are wrong.”
Her voice is gentle, but as the same time strong enough to let you know that you don’t have to try to deny it. It’s her truth and that’s enough.
“Well you need to take some time apart from me so it’s not –“
“Where the hell does that idea comes from?”
She’s lost. You were good when you end up your call some hours later. And then you appeared crying during her training, only to say her when you come home that you want to break up with her. But you frown again, lost too. And tired, to be honest.
“My therapist said that I’m leaning on you too much. And that’s way you wanted to go on holidays without me.”
You explain that like it’s the more logical thing in the world, but for Alexia it doesn’t make any sense. She starts to understand where it comes from however, even if she doesn’t understand why.
“I’m not going anywhere without you, what the point to have holidays if you’re not with me?” she answers, looking right into your eyes. “Did your therapist say other things?”
You nod and start to explain everything happened and everything she told you. The more you talk, the more Alexia seems to be furious. Her jaw is clenched, her eyes are literally throwing lightning and she so tense that you are really concerned that she can have a cramp somewhere. But when she talks to you again, her voice is infinitely soft.
“Nothing of that is true. I love you. I will do everything to help you to make you feel better. I’m not going to give up on you, Y/N. I’m not going to give up on us.”
You look at her, almost desperately. But she has the same gaze that she has when says things like this. Her eyes are soft, caring and so loving that you can’t do otherwise than believe her.
“I don’t feel like I’m better, Ale” you whisper. “I don’t think I will be one day.”
“You are. You are working, you are getting out, you are smiling again. It’s ok to have bad days, like everyone else. Yours are a little more complicated because you had to go through horrible things. But you have the right to not feel good or needing help a little more some days. And what she said was wrong.”
You are lost, honestly. Alexia can see that you are coming back at yourself again though. Like if you are waking up. You seem always a little desperate and she takes you carefully against her. You let her, sighing of relief when you find the comfort of her arms.
“What if she’s right and you haven’t realized for now?”
“She’s wrong. And she will know it.”
You don’t question what she was implying, too tired to realize what her words may imply. You let Alexia taking you in a bath and more generally taking care of you. You look at her through the mirror when she does your hair.
“When I get better, it will be me who will take care of you” you inform her.
She smiles and finish to undo a knot in your hair before answering, looking at you through the mirror too.
“Okay Cariño.”
She’s smiling but doesn’t seem to make fun of you. You relax, letting your shoulder go down a little bit. That’s mean that she really believes that you will be better.
********
Alexia keeps her promise, going to your therapist’s office in the early hours to talk to her. You don’t know what she told her, but now you don’t have to go to your appointments, and you even have a new psychiatrist, advised by someone from Alexia’s staff.
Rumor has it that Alexia’s shouts still resonate in the psychiatrist’s office.
You don’t know if it’s your breakdown of the change of therapist, but some days after this episode, you feel better than ever. You wake up with your head and your body feeling lighter and Alexia is surprised to see you coming in the kitchen when she’s taking her breakfast. Usually, you stay way longer in bed.
“Is everything alright?” she asks nervously.
You nod, rubbing your eyes before coming behind her to pass your arms around her waist.
“Just wanted to be with you a little bit before you leave.”
Alexia hums when you kiss her neck. You can feel a gaze studying you while you are making yourself coffee, before coming to sit next to her.
“Are you sure that you’re ok Cari?” she asks, almost shyly while you stole a strawberry from her bowl.
“I’m sure baby” you smile at her.
Alexia is looking at you suspiciously during several seconds. She red things about people being “high” before getting down and of course she is scared. But you seem really good today and she can’t help but smile when you kiss her cheek.
“Uhu” she said, taping her lips with expectation.
You giggle but kiss her anyway, smiling against her lips. You are still smiling when she strokes your cheek with her fingertips and when she puts her forehead against yours.
“I love you so much” she whispers before kissing you again.
“I love you more” you smiles.
Alexia makes no with her head and put a finger on your mouth when you want to talk again.
“Would you like to come with me to training today?”
You hesitate for several seconds before answering. It’s been a while since you came to see Alexia in training. You can’t remember who you saw some days before, only Mariona. But you hope that they weren’t a lot.
“You can say no if you don’t want to.” Alexia adds after seeing you hesitate.
“No, I want to come. But… Who were here, the other day? You know…”
“Only Mariona. And I’m sure that she doesn’t say anything to anyone.”
You are relieved to learn that, even if you don’t know how Alexia can know.
“Did you treat her?” you smirk.
“No” Alexia laughs. “I know the girl, she’s one of the most loyal, sweet and discreet that I’ve never met.”
She was right. Mariona didn’t told anyone about what happened and after several minutes you realize that Alexia was right once again. You hug the Mallorcan woman a little longer than Alexia’s other teammates when you met them, silently thanking her. She seems to understand because she smiles at you before taping your cheek affectionately.
And today, as you watch Alexia training and laughing on the pitch with the teammates that she considered like her family, you’re starting to have hope again. Alexia was right every time, so maybe she will be right this time again. You will be better.
#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso fanfics#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas
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Greedy
A/N: requested by @charbunxxi — i did something a little different, lmk if you would rather me repost a more accurate version to your request
The first thing Sukuna thought about after getting off his shift was you. You were the only thing he thought of while working, too. And, on the drive home, he almost crashed his car due to the fact that you were the only thing on his mind.
Some might say he's obsessive. Some might say he's deranged. Some might say he's a man deserving of nothing.
But then there's you, who says he's just a man in love.
He's a man who makes you breakfast and coffee — the way you like it. He's a man who draws you baths and washes your hair. He's a man who carries your bags after having gone shopping — with his card, obviously. He's a man who arrives at the apartment and — even then, still looks for home. He's a man who looks for you.
However, this time — unlike all other times, after slipping off his footwear and coat, he is unable to find you.
Maybe you were taking a shower? No. Maybe you were watching TV in the living room? Nope. Maybe you were doing laundry? Not even close.
When Sukuna finally succeeded in his search for you in your shared bedroom, he facepalmed. "'m so fuckin' stupid," he grunts out, as he crawls into bed.
You had fallen asleep while trying — but failing — to stay up in order to greet Sukuna after he returned home from work; but, he had had a longer shift than usual, and forgot to tell you.
He didn't mean to wake you. After all, it's not his fault that your pet cat just had to let out the world's loudest meow, announcing his arrival.
"You've got to be kidding me," he whispered, glaring at the little nuisance laying in the bed, cuddled up in your loving arms. The loving arms where he should be, not some ugly, good-for-nothing feline.
"My bad, baby. Swear, didn't mean to wake you—" He goes in to place a kiss on your cheek, but you simultaneously swerve away from him.
"No," you softly whine, shoving your head into the pillow.
"The fuck you mean 'no'? You seriously gonna deprive me of my well deserved kiss? After working a twelve hour shift?"
"No kisses." You mumble, your voice muffled.
Sukuna blinked at you, once, twice, thrice, until he finally concluded that you weren't just fucking around with him, and you were actually denying him of something totally essential to his well-being.
How was he meant to go on without your kisses? How would he live, breathe, eat, sleep, without your affection?
He tried to remove you from the pillow, but you instantly shoved your face back. "Noo."
"Sweetheart, I love you, y'know that already. And I wouldn't force you to do anything against your will. But, you don't understand, baby. What you're doing is completely and utterly cruel. This is wrong, on so many levels." He tried, again, to peel your face away from the pillow. And he succeeded, this time. But this time, you had a nasty pout on your face.
"You wanna know what's cruel? The fact you haven't showered, and yet, still have the audacity to crawl into bed. I'll have you know, I just replaced the bedsheets, and now here you are — dirtying them up."
"Babe, please—" He started.
"You are stinking up the whole goddamn apartment, Sukuna."
"You don't gotta be this way. We can talk it out."
"Sukuna—"
"C'mon, pretty girl. Just one? For little ol' me?"
You grumbled, but complied, albeit begrudgingly. "Fine, only one. But you have to take a shower after—mmph!"
Sukuna grabbed your face in his hands and tackled you down onto the bed, smashing his lips against yours so zealously that even the cat jumped out of your arms and off the bed.
-
It, indeed, was not just one kiss. But, it wasn't a total loss. Sukuna did end up taking that shower. And he gave you a reason to, as well.
Taglist: @beyond-your-stars @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin @fivehoneyharg @desihopelessromantic @taiyakii @hannas16 @acroso @msvalsius @call-memissbrightside @kelerina-ballerina @emikokomura
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CRYSTAL READING: What should you cultivate more in yourself ?
A little explanation of the method I used for reading
Lithomancy : I assigned a meaning for each stone (each stone represents a planet) and cast them on a circle divided into 12 parts, just like an astrology chart and do the reading
Pick a stone :
Reading for each group below :
1. Red jasper
I see a pyramid with strong foundation.
You would need to build a shelter in yourself to stay calm amidst a hectic life.
Life may give you lots of hardship, but if you know how to stay rooted in yourself, you can weather any storms coming your way.
To do that, you need to find your authentic ideals, your own aspirations in life, without outside's interference. Like a personal compass. No matter what you do, where you go, that compass can guide you to the right direction.
But to be able to make that compass, you would need to open up to your own self.
I see that some parts of your are hidden in your own eyes. You need to see all of yourself, both light and dark, both strength and weakness, both selfish desires and selfless devotion. A dichotomy within yourself. It is the opposition that keeps you balanced.
2.Citrine
A leaf or a boat, tenderly floating in the stream. If you could let your heart lead your life and follow the natural flow, you will see that life would be so much easier.
You will be able to see that life works in a very cyclical way. Allow yourself to unfold naturally with time. There is no need to rush.
Strangely enough, by doing that, you would appear to the world as a person holding so much inner power.
I could see that with time, you will become so much more at ease with yourself, and that will create a natural confidence.
Going with the flow of life does not mean doing nothing. It means seeing your dream and having the bravery to take concrete but harmonious steps to come closer to that dream. You would need to cultivate a lion's heart, bravely facing your hidden fears, guilts, and confusions hiding in the dark.
3.Pyrite
There is a focus on relationships.
You have an idealistic approach to romance with lots of fantasies and confusion.
That tends to attract the type of people who are aggressive, domineering, and have a big ego. This kind of relationship would bring lots of stress and disappointment to you.
I notice that my tone for this group is more curt and to the point. Maybe that's how some people feel when they are in your energy. Your energy would bring out some shadows in people.
Sometimes, people would actually have some dark impulses toward goodness. Light would bring out shadow. I'm saying this because I see that opposite of the heavy energy people that you attract, you have a gentle and light energy.
What you should cultivate is a sense of boundary and authority for yourself.
Keep the light, but be more detached and see clearly of what you want, how you want to be treated, and how you can feel nourished in a relationship. Maybe not too focused on 1 on 1 relationship, but be more open to being a part of a community. I see that you are meant to be a soul of freedom, not chained by other's egos.
4.Rose quartz
The energy of a mentor, a teacher.
There is something so strong yet very warm and loving about your energy.
You don't need to be actually in the teaching profession to teach. The way you express yourself, the way you live your life, the way you honour your emotions, and let your inner child shine can inspire many people. People want to learn from you.
I think that you don't need to cultivate something particular, but more like noticing things about yourself to be more aware and navigate them more easily. The strongest thing is the voice. The voice of authority. Be the voice of truth that speaks deep into people's hearts. Even sometimes, that would make people uncomfortable.
I see a playful child with a sharp tongue that speaks some acute observations about the world, but nobody feels offended. That is the special power of children. You could still retain some of that power within you.
5.Obsidian
I immediately see the number four and the Jupiter's glyph (♃, when I actually searched the glyph again, it was a little different from the crystal's image, but I couldn't shake the association) Another thing about Jupiter is that the stone for Jupiter landed on the highest position of the chart, stands between two black obsidian stones (one was the one I chose to represent place of focus, one was this group that you chose). So the theme of Jupiter would be where you should put more focus on cultivating. Travelling, religion, and foreign cultures will bring in lots of transformation for you.
Also, if you are more open about your wish and desires, you would manifest them much easier, broadcast to the universe, and let the universe listen to you. If you feel restricted and not comfortable showing your individuality, this is the message for you to show your light to the world more. Many would appreciate that.
6.Flourite
There is a sense of urgency in this group. The universe is sending you a very urgent message.
It is time to build your lasting legacy. There is something you're meant to create for the mass. It could be something to do with words, something verbal, creative writing, or things created by hands. Things that stir the imagination and deep emotions of the audience. Making this work will bring you sudden fortunes and blessings.
Tap into your dreams. You could get lots of inspiration or source materials from the dreams you have while sleeping or even daydreams. Don't ignore the images. When you put your attention to them, the messages will be clearer to you. Translate them into your works with dedication and steadiness and bring them to life.
#crystal reading#lithomancy#pick a card#channeled message#pick a pile#cultivation#gift#intuitive messages#horary chart#horary astrology#astrology#inner world#crystal casting#divination
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Letters Never Sent (Yandere Malleus x Reader)
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A letter wrote by Malleus Draconia, never sent to the object of his desires. Why don't you open it up and see what's inside...
masterlist
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Dear My Child of Man,
I am writing this letter with no intention of you receiving it.
Maybe this is "silly" as you would describe it, but I find myself slowly losing the restraint on my emotions as the days go by. My heart fills with unfamiliar feelings as I think of you, mixing together into an ever present sense of desire that makes me near shameful.
I find myself thinking of you always, from the moment I wake, to the moment I fall asleep. You seep your way into my dreams, where for but a moment I can relish in the fantasy that is you. I dream of your soft voice, your comforting gaze, your addicting presence. You are so captivating that I often forget I'm dreaming, until I awake with an aching feeling I've come to know as longing.
I long for you, I've learned.
I long for your voice, for your gaze, for your presence. I long for every essence of your being to be directed towards me. Some may call me a fool, scoff my way and paint me a madman, but I am nothing without my love for you, so it bothers me none. I often wonder if you think of me as intensely as I do you. I have to admit it is exciting, the mere thought of you reciprocating my feelings warms me so. It is intoxicating, even as a fantasy, simply imagining a life with you is enough for me. Somedays, I imagine gifting you with an unending dream, one where it is just us, away from the rest of the world. Away from duty, and work, and anything else that could distract us from each other, from our love. We would be together and we would be happy until the end of your days, and even after you're gone, I would continue loving you.
You were always so opposed to the idea, immortality. I remember the look on your face when you realized just how long I had lived, the sadness, the remorse, the pain. At that moment, it was not something I feared, more accurately not something I thought much about. It was not until I met you that it dawned upon me that at some point, you would leave this world, and that it would keep moving. Time would progress, people would grieve, but they would move on, plants would sprout and grow and wilt and eventually grow again, but I would remain stuck. Stuck with my dreams and fantasies. Stuck with the memory of you so present it would be like you never left in the first place.
Even now, I fear what the world would be like without you. Not much fills me with fear, my Child of Man, but I've found myself scared lately. The thought of you leaving, of going back to your home, and never returning scares me. It is almost comical in a way, I find myself dreading the thought even while writing this. You should be proud, how easily you are able to terrify me is an excellent skill, one many would love to possess.
You were my first true friend, did you know that? I have Lilia and Silver and Sebek, but I've always been treated as above them, as something untouchable. You were the first person to treat me like an equal, to bless me with the wonderful feeling of friendship. I often find myself racked with guilt, why should I desire more from you when you've already given me so much already? It is selfish, to seek out your love so desperately when I've already taken so much from you. You are my friend, and I should value our friendship above all.
But that is why I fear, because my love for you goes beyond the boundaries of friendship. I would even say it goes beyond the boundaries of love. It is a longing so deep I wonder if I'll ever be the same again, all while knowing that I am too engrossed in the feeling that is you to ever go back. A longing so deep I yearn with desire unexplainable to man, desire so profound and raw that I am sure you have changed something within me. A longing so deep the closest word to describe it is obsession, but even obsession doesn't explain the hundreds of letters, all unset, pilling away, all centering you.
Fear, love, what do distinctions matter if every single one of my thoughts center you.
I have no desire to send this letter, my Child of Man, but I hope with every meeting, every passing day, every time we are together, you are able to feel the love I hold for you. I hope my longing, my devotion, my never ending, boundless obsession is clear to you, my love.
Because I fear what will happen when I run out of paper.
---
A/n: here's to me hoping that this will break my writers block.
#yandere x reader#soft yandere#platonic yandere#twisted wonderland x reader#yandere twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland#twst malleus#twst x reader#yandere twst#twst
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Oh, nothing much, just a list of reasons why I am so excited to permashift to my ultimate 4d reality //better current reality//
∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘
— EXPERIENCING DESIRED SCENARIOS
I am a hardcore daydreamer just like my brother and sister shifters(you guys🫵🏾), and I can't wait to really live the silly imagines I always have in my head. Even if it's something relatively small, I will still get to live every second of them.
Idk if some of you guys will remember that one post where I mentioned Googlebox? But I'm mentioning it again🙄 because I scripted me, my love of my life, his sister who is my bff, my own girl bff and her boyfriend are part of the program teehee. I swear no one will ever understand how much of a comfort show Googlebox is to me and in general.
The idea of being on TV whilst watching TV and relaxing with my favourite people and eating my favourite food just makes me melt. It's such a core memory to me and idk I just love showing off how perfect my family is to everyone else
— FOOD
I can't wait for all the delicious food I'll get to eat. There will never be a single time where I have to eat something I don't like or don't want to ever again, because why should I have to? I'm mostly excited to have stuff like popeyes, McDonald's, seafood boils, those Korean and Japanese foods you see on mukbangs, loads of fruit bowls (I really do love fruit), basically everything meat/barbecue, pasta including ramen, and sweets too cus🧍🏿♀️🤷🏾♀️
— NO UGLY CLOTHES ALLOWED
Never will there be a day or night where I will ever need to wear clothes that don't suit me or clothes I don't like. My closet is going to be full of the cutest and gorgeous late 90s and early 2000s skirts, shirts, bellbottoms, flares, jackets, oversized ts, shorts, belts, slippers, jewelry, panties and bras etc etc
— ALREADY COMPLETED WORK
In my better cr, I scripted that I am already miles ahead of everyone in college work (and best believe all my work is at distinction level) so I have all the time in the world to do what I want until the next brief; I also scripted the date of month that I will wake up in my better cr in is the 16th April last week so I will have only 3 days of college next week (because i go in on mondays, tuesdays, wendsays and Thursdays) and 4 weeks of freedom to myself. (I also scripted my teachers let me do my own art work in my free time in class, cus sometimes all a girl wants to do is draw their ocs🥺)
— CURRENTLY IN MY MOVING ERA
In better cr, I am kind of in the planning process of moving out of my house to my apartment penthouse with my friend group. I'm thinking of moving out at 18 or 19 years old since I'm 17 rn and I still want to explore my better cr house cus it's wayyyy better than this one. But even once I've moved out I'll probably keep visiting my old home where my mum and her husband lives because.
∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘
Overall, I am so excited to experience everything I have ever dreamed of. I know I deserve my freedom and peace, excitement, and joy. Being able to just do what I want when I want and always knowing that no matter what, everything is going to be okay.
Life is so amazing, and it's so worth living. I know I will manifest my desired reality in no time, and I know all of the stress, time, anxiety, and patience won't be for nothing. Life is mine to explore, and I can't wait to do so
@4ellieluv @livingmydreamlife5555 @theshifterbear @cocozydiaries
#desired reality#master manifestor#4d reality#law of assumption#shiftblr#drself#loa#shifters#shifting#loa blog#loa advice#loassumption#loa tumblr#loa success#reality shift#shifted#reality shifting#shifttok#shifting community
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Cloudy days clear nights
summary: When you grow up in a home where your parents are emotionally absent it affects your life, when your mother wasn't prepared to be a mother and throws all the traumas and insecurities she had at you it's not easy, a father who doesn't know how to apologize and lives drunk and has aggressive tendencies isn't easy to deal with, and reader relapses on a bad day that leaves you stuck in thought and she doesn't tell Natash, leaving her worried.
warnings: angst with happy ending , angst to fluff, use of Y/N sometimes, suicidal thoughts, mention of self-harm and scars from self-harm, Be careful if this triggers you, don't read if you know you can't deal with triggers, you are not alone and don't be ashamed to ask for help.
All the ghosts of the past follow me to this day, they all live in my mind and make me tremble like a child, today in particular was a difficult day, one of those reminiscent of school days.
The day had started well but the mission had gone wrong which had resulted in intrusive thoughts questioning whether she was really worthy of being there with the Avengers, then there was the meeting with Tony where he made a point of reminding her of the mistakes she had made.
At lunchtime there was the problem with the rain and the first phone call from her mother, the more the phone rang the more her appetite went away, there was no putting off the call for long.
The unpleasant voice came from the other end of the phone, things like "why are you still working there?" "you've been in newspapers all over the world, do you know how hard it is to have a daughter who doesn't do anything useful?" "did you really try to do something? of course not, you've always been worthless".
the voice yelled and screamed for a few minutes before hanging up, before Y/N could say anything or defend herself her mother's voice didn't stop and when it did it was because she hung up the phone.
To make matters worse, for the rest of the day her girlfriend, Natasha, was stuck at work until later, when Y/N was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling, she spiraled into a spiral of negative thinking.
she saw herself in high school again, being bullied by her classmates, she saw herself at that time taking out all the anger she felt on herself, she saw herself as the useless girl she had felt all day.
Y/N didn't know when she started crying but she felt the tears dripping from her eyes. She went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, her hair messy with tears and her eyes red.
-How could Natasha like someone like me? - she asked herself, she had scars all over her thigh and wrist, she wasn't even that pretty.
-"Maybe I should just disappear... she wouldn't even notice," she muttered to her reflection in the mirror and sat down on the bathroom floor.
When the redhead returned home in the early hours of the morning, she felt a strange air hanging over the apartment. She walked into the kitchen, where the lights were off and a cold plate was on the sink.-Baby? - Natasha called out as she walked to her room. The light in the bathroom at the end of the corridor was on, which made her follow her there.
-"Honey, are you all right? It's me," Natasha said, trying to open the door and failing. "Honey, open the door," she said in a tone where she was almost begging her girlfriend to open the door.
The lack of response worried Natasha, who began to try to force her way into the bathroom. When the door opened, Natasha almost fell into the bathroom. She saw her girlfriend lying in the bathtub crying.
-Bear?- she said, running over to her girlfriend in the bath and kneeling down outside the bath - Look at me, darling, are you all right? What happened? - she says worriedly, putting her hand on Y/N's cheek.
The woman in the bathtub looks at the redhead and tears fall more than before -You shouldn't see me like this - she says as she looks away from her girlfriend.
-"Sweetheart," the redhead says as she steps into the empty bathtub and pulls her girlfriend onto her lap, "talk to me," she says as she strokes her girlfriend's hair. It took a while for Y/N to finally talk, she looked at Natasha and felt like crying even more.
-Today was so stressful...I made a mistake during the mission and Tony wouldn't let me forget it, so my mom called me...and - Y/N stuttered through her tears - I feel so useless, like I don't deserve this life - Y/N's comment made Natasha's heart sink, the redhead continued stroking the woman's hair in her lap and kissed her forehead.
-"Sweetheart, mistakes happen, life isn't easy but we can't let mistakes consume us, you fought to be here and you deserve all of this, I love you so much," she said, wiping away her girlfriend's tears, "come on, let's go to bed, so I can hug you properly," Natasha said, getting up and helping her girlfriend up too, she held her girlfriend close as they walked to the bed.
-Thank you Tasha - Y/N says as she looks at her girlfriend changing to lie down next to her.
-Thanks for what? - the redhead says, looking at the girl sitting on the bed.
-"For taking care of me...not letting me give up." The girl on the bed says looking at her scarred left arm, Natasha walks over to her and sits down next to her, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers.
-Thank you for what? - the redhead said looking at the girl sitting on the bed.
-For taking care of me...don't let me give up - The girl on the bed said looking at her scarred left arm, Natasha walked over to her and sat down next to her, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers.
-"Honey, you're my girlfriend and I love you more than anything, I'm not going to let you just fall apart, how many times have you helped me, huh? we're a couple, in good times and bad," Natasha says as she pulls the girl close and kisses the scars on her arm. "Those scars just show how strong you are, baby," Natasha says, looking into the eyes of Y/N, who was almost falling asleep in her arms.
-I love you Natasha.
-I love you too Y/N.
#natasha romanoff#natasha x reader#natasha x you#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#x fem!reader#x female reader#lesbian#sapphic fanfic
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How Umemiya Hajime Loves | As Told By Tarot
cw. gn!reader, tarot, headcanons
pairing. umemiya x reader
notes. normally, i stop at 4 cards per character but i've been thinking about doing more lengthy, in-depth readings with multiple stacks lately. so i figured, why not give this a shot with my newest obsession? if you have any characters you want me to cover, let a girl know
deck. prisma visions tarot & true black tarot
three of wands, the hanged man, two of wands, two of chalices
When Umemiya Hajime falls, he falls. There's no resisting the waves as it envelops his person; instead he allows himself to be full submerged. He allows you to see him for who he is, all that he has been and all he will be and you allow him to do the same. You're his person. Hajime loves everyone he calls family and treats them all kindly but even among them you are special. The moment you are someone he sees he has a future with, he works towards that future little by little through connecting with you and cultivating a love that will last indefinitely. He isn't the type to seek short-term relationships, Umemiya Hajime wants forever.
ten of pentacles, nine of chalices, the high priestess, seven of wands
It should also be no surprise that he wants a large family. How this family is ultimately is obtained is of little importance to him but he wants a family. Kid running through the house to wake you both up to watch whatever their favorite morning cartoon is, little fingers covered in pancake batter as his little helper valiantly helps him make breakfast, the whole nine yards. That future is a dream come true for him who has always wanted a family of his own. Of course he is aware it takes hard work to get to that future let alone maintain it, but he is prepared for that challenge. Hajime is someone who thrives in large groups but for him to really be happy, you have to be happy as well. He's great at reading you and piecing together what you want but he isn't a mind reader, tell him what you want and need and he'll always be happy to reach a compromise where you are both satisfied.
the emperor, three of pentacles, the lovers, two of pentacles
Rather than constantly go back and forth fixing a leak to push his town in the right direction, Hajime decided to rebuild the entire house and relay the foundation brick by brick. He approaches self-improvement and relationships in the same manner. Words aren't enough, you need action to back them up. His actions more than speak for themself. You know he loves you in the things he does grand and small. He goes above and beyond to make sure you never have to question how he feels. Hajime fights that much harder when something he loves is on the line. Love is the very source of his strength. A joyous feeling that cloaks the two of you in a freeing dance of self-expression and intimacy reserved solely for the two of you. Together the food tastes that much better, the drinks that much flavorful and the hues of the world that much more vibrant. He wants you to feel the same way when you're with him.
nine of cups, the hermit, ace of cups, two of cups
For Hajime, this love feels like a luxury. Both of your glasses will always be full, overflowing with wine that he has grown with grapes from his very own garden. His pockets may not be overflowing in gold but if one could be paid in emotional wealth, Hajime is richer than the greatest king. It has taken much introspection to become the man he become today. A lot of pain he has had to overcome. Yet despite that pain, like how the scarred dove continues to fly so does Umemiya Hajime. His love continues to flow and pour onto the garden that is his relationship with you, carefully cultivating a living mosaic that encompasses your relationship. War and disruption does not exist in this man, thus it does not exist in your relationship. There is only peace and harmony bathed in a soft glow. Yours is a relationship that continues this soft dance for as long as time allows.
#look she's writing#headcanons#tarot#windbreaker#wind breaker#hajime umemiya#umemiya hajime#umemiya x reader#umemiya hajime x reader
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Hi Liv!!! I’ve seen you have an draco injury/disability reclist but I was wondering if yoy knew of any fics where harry had an injury/disability??
thank you!!
Hi anon! Yes definitely, here are some hurt!Harry for you:
Wield Me by @tackytigerfic (E, 10k)
Draco Malfoy, blacksmith, is renowned through the magical world for his skill and exquisite creations. He could quite easily spend the rest of his days making pretty trinkets for the fae court, and being handsomely rewarded for the privilege. But why take the easy route when instead he could get involved in a dangerous mission with Unspeakable Harry Potter (who also happens to be Draco's... well, he's something, isn't he?). A little story about learning to strike while the iron is hot.
The Snitch-Maker by Omi_Ohmy (T, 21k)
Draco is content with his Snitches, with the tap tap tap of his hammer, and the tiny gears and sharp scent of metal in his workshop - until one day Harry Potter appears, asking for help to solve a rash of Snitch-tampering in the Quidditch world.
Fearful Trill by @vukovich (E, 29k)
Harry should have come out and met someone when he was younger. He should have seen a doctor about the pain in his hip while youth was still on his side. Now, he's made his peace with dying young, but maybe not with dying alone.
If an Injury Is to Be Inflicted by @shealwaysreads (E, 45k)
Harry Potter disappeared a year after the Battle of Hogwarts, and with him went all hope for true change in magical Britain. Three years later, Draco indulges himself and attends his first Dog Fight—the infamous underground fights with no rules, no referee, and no points system bar blood on the floor. The game was simple: you win, or you die.
fly like paper, high like planes by @harryromper (M, 47k)
Harry Potter, Head Coach of the Appleby Arrows, is very content leading a quiet life. He has a doddery old house-elf who makes his breakfast, a team of players who love Quidditch almost as much as he does, and a Kneazle that curls against his damaged leg at the foot of his bed at night. The absolute last thing he needs is a fit, tattooed, and wildly talented Draco Malfoy back from living his life on the margins.
Harry Potter and the elusive day off by pleasebekidding (E, 71k)
Auror Potter needs a fucking break. He is wiped. He is exhausted. He probably didn't intend to put himself into a magical coma but these things happen. And who cares, really? He is comfortable in a house where he has hidden away all the shit he can't deal with.
Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore (M, 82k) - cw: major permanent disability
When Harry is forced to form a Blood Bond with Draco Malfoy under threat of death, he thinks his future will consist of a cold home and sexual frustration. But when a group of left-over Death Eaters decides to stir trouble, their lives change completely – and it takes them both some years to figure out whether it’s for better or for worse.
Balance, Imperfect by @bixgirl1 (E, 91k)
When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.
Any Instrument by @dictacontrion (E, 131k)
Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.
The Ordeal of Being Known by @lou-isfake (M, 146k)
When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter.
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Aaron Minyard's Math Troubles
Aaron Minyard would rather be anywhere else in the world than where he is right now.
It was quite simple actually, Aaron hated math with a burning passion. It was the kind of hate that only developed because of other circumstances he had placed himself in. Being a pre-med student ment most of his studying hours were taken up by his biology and chemistry classes that he hardly had any time left for calculus. And that had worked out for him most of the year. Sure his grade in calculus wasn't anything special but one subpar math grade wouldn’t mess up all of his other hard work.
Or so he thought.
Honestly Aaron had been so busy with his other coursework that he had completely forgotten about his upcoming calculus midterm. At first he panicked, tearing through his backpack and trying to make sense of his hastily scribbled notes before giving up and checking to see if the professor posted their powerpoints online. No luck. So he turned to youtube, watching and rewatching videos on concepts he had never heard of. He even asked Nicky to help but only got a sheepish smile and a small sorry.
So yes, Aaron Minyard would rather be anywhere else in the world than where he was right now. Standing in front of Neil Jostens dorm room trying to swallow his pride and ask for help.
Andrew answered the door after Aaron knocked twice. His eyes flashed slightly with surprise before he schooled his expression and regarded Aaron with a rather bored look. It took almost everything in Aaron to not turn around right then and there. But, instead he cleared his throat before speaking.“I need to talk to Neil.”
Now the surprise in Andrew’s eyes was back. “Why?” he asked, regarding Aaron with some kind of emotion other than bored indifference.
Aaron clenched his hand into a fist, fingernails digging into the soft skin of his palm. “I need,” he paused here, trying to figure out what his next words should be, “assistance, on my math work.”
At that Andrew relaxed and seemed to be ever so slightly amused. He opened the door further before walking into the living space of his shared dorm and plopped down in one of the beanbags in front of the TV. “The junkie’s at his desk in the bedroom, try to not yell at each other will ya?”
And with no further ceremony, Aaron knocked on the door leading into Neil’s bedroom.
“You’re good to come in.” Neil’s voice sounded from behind the door. “Why would you even knock Andr-” Neil continued as he turned towards Aaron who had just opened the door. “What the hell are you doing here Minyard.” Neil’s mouth twisted into a grimace like the sight of Aaron caused him physical pain.
“Don’t look so disgusted, Andrew and I have the same face Asshole.” Aaron refuted as he approached the desk that Neil sat at. “And I need you to teach me how to do math.” Aaron offered his test study guide to Neil before he could say anything else.
“Well that's such a nice way to ask for something.” Neil grumbled, snatching the study guide from Aaron's hands. “Limits, derivatives, and integrals.” He hummed as he thumbed through the review sheet. “This all looks pretty easy, are you sure you need my help?”
Aaron grimaced at the word help. “I have a midterm tomorrow and if I fail I might have to retake the class depending on how I do on my final.”
“So basically, you forgot about your test and now you're whining to me because you don’t know what to do.” Neil summarized, a wicked grin growing on his lips at the thought of having something to hold over Aaron’ head.
“Yes.” Aaron mumbled through gritted teeth, already regretting even considering asking Neil for help.
“Fine,” Neil sighed. “Grab Andrew or Kevins chair and sit here.” He gestured vaguely to the area right beside him. “We won’t have time for all these concepts so you’ll just have to pick the ones you feel the least confident in. I’ll work on making some more practice problems for you while you solve the ones already on the review sheet.”
From there, Neil and Aaron settled into a tense routine accompanied by and equally as tense silence. Aaron would solve problems while Neil came up with more practice and graded the problems Aaron had already completed.
“Your notations all off, It’s not that fucking hard to write plus C after your integrals.” Neil hissed at him. “If you can’t even remember that, I don't know why I bothered to help you.”
“It’s not my fault we can’t all be math freaks like you.” Aaron shot back, venom dripping from every word.
They would continue like that back and forth before inevitably quieting down again to do the next problem. Then one of them would make a rude or snide comment and the cycle would repeat all over again.
“Why the fuck would you put plus C on this problem it’s not an indefinite integral.” It was Neil who started the fight this time. “Did you not listen to anything I told you five minutes ago?”
Aaron scoffed, “Five minutes ago you told me to add it asshole.”
Neil rolled his eyes, “yes but that was a completely different problem.” He pushed the problem in question closer to Aaron. “You see the difference.”
As much as Aaron hated to admit it, Neil was a good teacher. He was thorough in his critique but did well at explaining topics in a way that Aaron could understand. Though, Aaron doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget how Neil yelled at him for his, as Neil put it, notation so bad that a sixth grader would have written it better.
Aaron left Neils’ dorm four hours later with his papers in hand and feeling utterly exhausted. He couldn’t find it in himself to study anymore and instead opted to sleep before his exam.
The next day, Aaron sat in front of his midterm paper and said a quick prayer before opening it. He walked out of the exam hall one and a half hours later feeling just as exhausted as he had the night before.
Neil would never let Aaron live that night down, especially after learning he got an 86%.
#aftg#andrew minyard#the foxhole court#all for the game#andreil#neil josten#the kings men#the raven king#aaron minyard#the foxes
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...
How do I do this??
Hello, Tea anxiously speaking!
Coffee and I started this project completely on a whim through quarantine, so there's a lot of old content to upload here. (We love the smell of cringe early in the morning)
But for now, let me ask you something...
Do you notice when someone is looking at you?
TW: Yandere behavior, intense staring, stalking, paranoia, delusions, warped perception of reality.
(not your pov)
He couldn't believe his eyes, it had to be some sort of dream, right? Nobody could be that beautiful...right?
He just couldn't stop, his eyes would just go right back at them like there was some invisible leash tied to his neck, forcing him to face in that direction. Even some of his classmates noticed, not that he cared anyways. Their skin looked so soft even from the other end of the classroom, their hair fell into place just the right way, their posture...honestly, it looked like they were expecting a picture to be taken...
"...Maybe I should take a picture"
He thought, fidgeting with his phone inside his pocket. They wouldn't mind, right? They probably were expecting someone to do so anyways and it's not like they would notice. His eyes were stuck, but since he was deep in thought it took him a moment to realize that he received a glance as well. A side glance, anxious looking...they adjusted their stance... "They know I'm watching"
His mind raced, his heart jumped nearly out of his chest at that moment, it felt like the whole world had gone quiet and everyone could hear his thumping heart, but in reality nobody could even sense a thing. In truth, his face told nothing, well, at least not much. He wasn't bland or aloof, that's not it. He just looked friendly, unassuming...an airhead if you will, maybe that's a good thing though, since nobody would know just how smitten he was for the new student.
Class was over, and then school was over, still, his eyes searched for that one person all day. He felt lost whenever they were out of sight, like he was drowning in a sea of numbness and their presence was just how life was supposed to feel like. His eyes scanned the crowd of people as he walked back home, "not here.." "not there either" he couldn't find his anchor. "maybe they take another route, or they live really close to school. But what if they're with someone right now? Were they picked up? Do they walk home? Take the subway? The bus? Do they work after school? What if something bad happened to them in their way home? They probably don't know their way around town, they said they're new, what if somebody took them? They're so beautiful... surely I'm not the only one that thinks that. What if they're not in class tomorrow because they were taken? What if I can't see them anymore? What if-"
Step...step...step..
He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "there they are.."
he thought, his step calmed, letting their classmate take a bit of a lead, he walked slowly behind them, staring at their back. He loved how their hair bounced slightly with each step, so sweet, so pure. His mind drifted to calmness as soon as his eyes landed on them.
It's not weird at all, it can't be, they're classmates after all. He's just making sure they get home safe, besides, they don't seem to mind at all.
#pineapple our oc#Tea speaking#yandere thoughts#yandere#random#yandere male#yandere imagines#yandere drabble#yandere oc#oc#male yandere#yandere scenarios#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#obsessive love#yandere classmate#otome#yandere x willing reader#stalker#tw stalking#soft yandere#yandere writing#drabble#silly#silly writing#delulu#delusional
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Each ttpd song and how it relates to the maurader era characters
1. Fortnite- Mary when she fell in love with someone who wasn’t worth her time
2. Tortured Poets Department- Remus singing about Sirius
3. My Boy Only Breaks his Favorite Toys- atyd Sirius about Remus after Remus the “Mr tell me a fucking secret”
4. Down Bad- regulus about James
5. So long London- Choices Lily after Regulus dies and James is a mess
6. But Daddy I love him- Sirius after he realized he loved Remus
7. Fresh out the Slammer- Lily after dumping James
8. Florida!!!- Sirius after getting out of Azkaban and being a mess
9. Guilty as sin- regulus after becoming death eater and remembering James
10. Who’s afraid of Little old me- Dorcas after Marlene got killed and she went on a murder spree
11. I can fix him (no really I can)- James hoping he can save Regulus
12. Loml- Remus after Sirius went to Azkaban
13. I can do it with a broken heart- Regulus pretending to be fine after joining the death eaters
14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived- Lily about Snape after she finally realized he was shit
15. The Alchemy - James signing about Regukus
16. Clara Bow- regulus finding out about how his tragic life story has been repeating throughout history
17. The Black Dog- James singing about how Regulus is apparently fine after they end
18. Imgonnagetyouback- Remus is confused on whether he wants Sirius or to kill Sirius after The Prank
19. The Albatross- Regulus as a death eater when he sees James and knows he will destroy his life for him
20. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus- when Sirius is sleeping with everyone except Remus
21. How did it end- James is confused how him and Regulus ended so abruptly
22. So highschool- regulus when James makes him feel like a teenager instead of someone with the weight of the world on his back
23. I hate it here- regulus compartmentalizing when he is with his family
24. thanK you aIMee- Lily singing about all the horrible people at Hogwarts that goaded her to being the best
25. I look through peoples windows- Remus after when everyone he loved died and he is looking for his family in strangers houses
26. The Prophecy- James after Regulus broke up with him and then it didn’t work out with Lily and he just wants love
27. Cassandra- Sirius singing about how terrible his family is
28. Peter- James singing to Regulus because he thought eventually he would come to the good side but he died instead
29. The Bolter- Mary in Hogwarts
30. Robin- Sirius singing about regulus
31. The Manuscript- when Regulus finally accepts that his family is not what a family should be
#marauders#harry potter#james loves regulus#jegulus#regulus black#james potter#regulus being regulus#regulus loves james#ttpd#taylor swift#sirius black coded song#atyd sirius#sirius loves remus#sirius being sirius#sirius x lupin#sirius#remus loves sirius#remus x sirius#sirius black#sirius orion black#sirius and regulus#james & peter & remus & sirius#james x regulus
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Once a Decade Hobby
Fandom: What in Hell is Bad?
Content: Foras & GN!MC (they/them), fluff turns into mild violence, MC is a little unhinged and selfish,
Summary: MC asks Foras to teach them his hobby. They throw a tantrum when they don't get their way.
A/N: You know what? I love terrible MCs. I love when they are absolute garbage. Long live these bitches!
Word Count: 709
“I don't think I'm doing this right,” they say as they turn the thick horn over in their hand. The rough, bark-like exterior has chips and gnashes in it from where the knife had dug too deeply or had slipped out of their control.
They had imagined this would Be more fun than it actually was due to Foras unusually bright smile while widdling.
“The outer layer of horns like those needs to be scrapped off before they can be shaped properly,” Foras reminds them. “It also allows you to see if there are unseen cracks that run through the core or up the sides which could jeopardize the integrity of your sculpture.”
“I know that's what you said, but that doesn't make it any easier.” They look over at the horn that he's carving – a smooth, curved one that's marbled with turquoise and seafoam – and pout. “You didn’t scrape yours off? Can we switch? That one looks more simple.”
Foras looks at them with expressionless eyes. “This one is more difficult due to its shape and the fact that it is thinner and more delicate than usual. I didn't scrape its outer layer because so much of it is damaged. If I tried, I would have very little left to work with. The one you have may seem like more work, but that's because it's healthy and thicker horns are more forgiving if you make mistakes.”
“I can be careful. I promise.”
They're bored though. The horn Foras gave to them to experiment on and fiddle with is black and the shape doesn't inspire any creativity in them. They want something prettier. Something that shimmers. Something that inspires them.
“No. Beginners should work with sturdier materials that are more forgiving to mistakes.”
Foras is the type of devil that seems hard to approach because of his unintentional directness and tactless behavior. They couldn’t even recall how many times he had scared them after suddenly turning visible after following them in secret for an unknown amount of time. But, in this moment, he seems like a completely different devil. His passion makes him act like someone else.
They stare at him while he carefully works the sharp edge of his knife across the supposedly delicate horn. Each stroke releases a small sliver of the outermost, seafoam-speckled layer. Each shaving gathers as little curls in a messy pile in hip lap. They are beautiful flakes, like glitter under the light.
They place the rough horn with small notches down on the ground beside where they sit, having lost all interest in it. They stand with their knife in hand. Slowly, they take a step closer to where Foras sits, working on his once-in-a-blue-moon hobby. They sneak around behind him to watch him from the back. His eyes, that would normally be carefully watching every moving object in the room, flicking back and forth so quickly that they would almost appear to be staring straight forward. For once, he is so engrossed in a singular task that he isn’t watching the rest of the world as if it’s a play being put on around him.
Foras is cute when he’s passionate.
So cute that they can’t help but wrap their fist around his beautiful, shimmering horn and yank his head back.
“If you won’t share that one, I'll take this one instead.”
A coy smile creeps across their face as they lean in close, forcing Foras to look at them the way he usually did. They run the flat of their tongue from the base of his horn all the way to the tip, smirking at the sound of his surprise and arousal.
If the horn in his hand sparkled like glitter, then his own horn
“Yours looks healthy, so I can have it… right? Like you said, an amateur like me needs something sturdy so I can make lots and lots of mistakes. We can even start from the top.” They pull away, replacing their tongue with the edge of the knife they are still carrying. “Teach me how to saw this off. I'm feeling inspired to make something.”
Foras will look lovely with a collar made from his own horn snapped tighter around his throat than even Leviathan’s noose.
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Been thinking about MoShang and the question of how they would handle SQH ascending, because depending on how the world works (which we don't really know based on canon tbh) the heavens might be a completely separate plane of existence you can't easily come back from if at all. Also what about BingQiu? Bingge or Bingmei, he would raze everything to the ground, kill everyone and salt the earth if he got separated from his Shizun.
I know the easy answer is MBJ's teleportation powers or SQH pulls some author nonsense, but hear me out:
Heavenly demons are called that because they were originally kicked out of heaven. Probably primordial deities of sorts. So technically it should be possible for them to ascend again.
So clearly the best way to make MBJ eligible for ascension is to turn him into a heavenly demon. Do they borrow the heavenly aspect from LBH who can ascend either as a heavenly demon or just a regular cultivator? Do they go through a bunch of wacky hijinks ft. TLJ? (“It’s a bit like mold, divinity. You only need to give a little and if the target cultivates the right way it will spread and he will become a proper heavenly demon over time. I’ll help him get started!”) Who knows, I haven't thought that far, this idea starts and ends with 'what if heavenly demon MBJ ascending with his husband?' actually.
Also if they decide that LBH should ascend through his heavenly demon ancestry, then he would need to actually better himself and sort out all his insane neuroses which sure would be An Event. Shen Yuan trying to very belatedly instill Good Morals (any kind of morals, really) in his husband would be a trashfire. MBJ can cultivate towards detachment or something, he has the temperament for it, but LBH can't and it would bug him so much that MBJ is beating him in something. All the while TLJ is giving Advice (Wrong Answers Only) from the sidelines because he put off trying to ascend until ZZL gets reincarnated, but that doesn't mean he can't be involved in the proceedings and have fun.
And once they are all gods there can be some extra shenanigans, because I always thought that it must be one hell of a time to sort the twelve peak lords/new gods out and this batch comes with two extra. Transmigrator and Airplane reveal? Sure, why not. Shen Jiu waiting for them there because he lived Shen Yuan's life (got all the therapy he needed, bettered himself and worked off his karma) and then the universe short circuited and he got pulled back here ages ago and he's kinda pissed that his martial siblings took this long? Hell yes (QiJiu are my blorbos, Do Not Separate).
Just a whole pile of "We ascended to heaven and it was only a medium-sized disaster, actually".
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The Big Black Clover Fanfic Recommendation Post
I've been talking about making that post since forever and I think I've finally finished compiling them!
So. Grab a notepad. Take out your TBR list. Get ready to bookmark or mark for later. And let's go.
I guess I should start with a few disclaimers 🫡
I haven't read every fic out there and there are notably a few fics I know I'm going to love but haven't started yet. I think I'll update the post regularly.
The fics on this post are fics I enjoyed and remember having read. considering how many things I forget on a daily basis, it means a lot.
I have my favorite characters, tropes, and themes and this will definitely show.
I'm attempting to organize the fics in categories but ofc some shippy fics also have feels or are angsty or are fluffy, same for the AUs... An attempt is made to organize them based on the vibes I remember (I’ve read some of those literal years ago).
If you're in this post and you think I've put your fic in the wrong category: don't hesitate to reach out!
For the shippy fics, I have my favorite ships but I'm a multishipper sooooo there's that.
I'm recommending oneshots, multichaptered fics, entire AUs, series and fics that are unfinished and probably never will be. Do keep that in mind if you don't like reading abandoned works (you'll be missing out but I can understand).
Let's start! It'll be a long one.
General/Feels/Character studies
💜 Threads, Solarwitchwrites
Vanessa is a stitch witch. She is the best stitch witch of her generation, possibly in an age. But she has one power she doesn’t brag about: she can see the threads of fate that bind destined souls together. It’s rarely been useful, often it’s painful; but sometimes she gets to watch something amazing unfold.
💜 A World Without You, Acacia_May
Vanessa grows concerned for Finral when he begins to act tense and distant after they return from the Forest of Witches. In her attempts to comfort him, however, she may find some comfort of her own.
💜 Teammates, Cour104
Still adjusting to her newfound freedom after escaping from her cage and the Witch Queen, Vanessa has a nightmare. Finral is there to help her through it and remind her that she's no longer alone.
💜 You're Not Alone, IAmStoryteller
For Noelle, there has always been one person in her corner.
For Mimosa, there has always been one person that made her want to be better.
Noelle Silva and Mimosa Vermillion are cousins, but they are also each other’s greatest support.
💜 It Used To Be So Simple (Once Upon A Time), WildFlowerWoods
A collection of short stories about the childhoods of various Black Bulls, among other things, containing my own headcanons.
💜 fated, orphaned
Some Magic Knights are bonded by something stronger than just kinship. (Charlotte x Yami, Asta x Noelle, Nozel x Vanessa)
💜 Think about it (series), thoughtfullyrainynightmare
This is a collection of short drabbles that exist to give insight to the canon characters presented in Black Clover from my personal perspective. This is about how I see them
AUs
🩷 Black Bulls Pirate AU, Firefutte
An infamous pirate crew sails across the sea's waves. Many rumours and stories exists of this crew. Always one thing they all have in common and that's the tale describing them as chaotic, lawless and crazy hooligans in dire need of mercy from the gods. In reality they're simply living as them, chaotic, lawless and crazy hooligans they may be, but this ship's crew have found a family amongst each other in a world that denied them such comfort for years. And they would have it no other way if you asked them, such is the reality of The Black Bull.
🩷 Mimosa & Noelle Ideale AU, IAmStoryteller
Seven-year-old Noelle and Mimosa run away from home while traveling with their grandparents. Meanwhile, 16-year-old Zora is trying his very best to be a Super-Wizard and takedown corrupt Magic Knights. But one day he runs into two little girls who clearly are nobility, but also who need help.
This changes everything.
🩷 Black Bulls Steampunk AU, IAmStoryteller
The Black Bulls Crew is about to officially retire from being sky pirates. After years of working together and becoming a family, they agree that it’s time for one last hurrah to prove that they are the best of the best, especially after they heard about a map for the infamous treasure of Elf King.
🩷 New World, Bulls99
Following a second devastating defeat to Vanica, Noelle expects to die peacefully - painfully, but peacefully. Instead she wakes up in a world where everything seems upside down. But how much is really different?
Romance
❤️ Ubi Amor, Ibi Dolor, Supernaturalgrant
“He’s dumb as fuck.” She asserts bluntly. It surprises an honest laugh out of Nozel, which seems to amuse her slightly. “You know that, right?”
“I can’t force him to be with me, Mereoleona. Even I am not that high-reaching.” He tells her honestly.
Or- Fuegoleon and Nozel break up when Nozel is promoted to the Silver Eagles captain, neither of them really knows why. (Fuegoleon x Nozel)
❤️ Running Out of Time, IAmStoryteller
On the day that elves reincarnated and Zagred the Word-Devil nearly gained a physical body, something went wrong—Zora Ideale and Kirsch Vermillion wind up in a time loop. They have to relive the horrible, long day over and over again, while reluctantly working together to figure out why. (Zora x Kirsch)
❤️ The Clover Kingdom in Chaos: A Dire Tale, Mamavino
Over a month after defeating Lucius Zogratis, new troubles lie ahead. When Sol comes knocking on Yami's door in a panic because Charlotte is missing, he acts indifferent at first. But what happened after their tea-drinking date? And is it true that she has been trapped by a curse again? Yami puts every effort into finding out what happened and sets out to find Charlotte.
Noelle Silva falls into a strange sleep. Rouge, Vanessa's cat, is now attached to young Silva's life. Nozel insists on having his sister in the palace. But that also means opening the doors to the Black Bulls. This will certainly provide some challenges.
In addition, all the spirits are falling ill, and everyone seems to be in a total panic. Mereoleona, Asta and a small team sets out to seek out the cause and solution to all this. Is it all connected? In the library they will find help, or is it an enemy After all? (Charlotte x Yami, Nozel x Vanessa, Mereoleona x OC, Fuegoleon x OC)
❤️ Night of Vows, Vilandel
She kissed him again, more deeply this time, smiling as she felt him giving in to the kiss. As they parted, she poked his cheek and said with a smirk, “Consider this a vow I just made.” (Nozel x Vanessa)
❤️ wildest dreams (because falling's not the problem), IAmStoryteller
Yuno/Langris/Mimosa series (Yuno x Langris x Mimosa)
❤️ This Was A Mistake, JaylinnW
“You really think this will be a restful break,” the larger man grinned. “You are in for a surprise. You will not be getting much time to relax,” William opened his mouth but Yami stopped him. “I’m not talking about that, Goldie Guts.” He paused, smirking. “Well not only that. I’m talking about the fact that we brought all our idiots with us. I know my bulls- shit’s gonna hit the roof.”
“It won’t be that bad I’m sure,” William moved away from his boyfriend to get up from the bed. (William x Yami, minor Nozel x Vanessa)
❤️ Masquerade, IAmStoryteller
The Masquerade Ball hadn't happened in many years in Clover, but that changes when Julius Novachrono decides that it's high time to bring back some old traditions. (Asta x Yuno, Nozel x Vanessa, Finral x Leopold, Magna x Nebra, Fragil x Luck, Zora x Kirsch, Letoile x Gordon, Gauche x Grey, Rill x Charmy)
❤️ Green, Pink, and Grayscale, juviin
Soulmates are a thing of the past, or at least, they should be. So why does the youngest child of the royal Silva family see no colors? (Asta x Noelle)
❤️ Now All My Dreams are Melting on the Asphalt in the Heat, IAmStoryteller
Vanessa Enoteca, the lead singer and guitarist of the Punk band Arresting Dark Weave, is asked by her mentor/friend/first love Yami Sukehiro, the lead guitarist of The Black Bulls, to compose songs for his and Charlotte Roselei’s wedding. Except, she has got to work with Charlotte’s friend Nozel Silva, the First Seat Cello Player of the Clover Kingdom Baroque Orchestra, who just so happens to a composer. Can Vanessa and Nozel create some amazing songs for the Yami/Charlotte wedding in time? Or will it go up in smoke? (Nozel x Vanessa)
❤️ MUSIC CONNECTS ALL, UNLESS IT'S OFF BEAT, orphaned
In Noelle's defense, it was all Kahono's fault.
Noelle so happens to be listening to Kahono's rant before she gets into this entire complicated situation that had just happened, (fuck fate, by the way), and now she had dug a hole too deep to get out of. Who the hell was Tchaikovsky, what the hell was a quarter note, and why are there eighty–eight keys on a piano?
To think it just started with a simple walk on the beach. (Kahono x Noelle)
❤️ Children of the Future, LightNova
When Yami and Charlotte had been summoned to see the Wizard king they had not been expecting to find out they had a 19 year old daughter from the future! Nor had they been expecting even more children from the future to appear in their world shortly after her. Just what was going on, and who was sending them here and why? (Charlotte x Yami, Finral x Vanessa, Zora x Nebra, Gauche x Grey, Fuegoleon x OC, William x OC, Julius x OC, Yuno x OC, Asta x Noelle)
❤️ I'll Be Home for Christmas, HotaruGFC (JaclynGFC)
Charlotte gets an invitation to a wedding, and she can't go alone. (Charlotte x Yami)
❤️ Oh What Am I Supposed to Do Without You?, Supernaturalgrant
“Mercury poisoning.”
The silence that follows Owen's statement is deafening. The occupants of the room share looks of utter confusion.
“That’s like saying Fuegoleon has third-degree burns from that cool ass fire arm situation he has going on.” Yami’s the first to break it.
Or: Nozel is diagnosed with mercury poisoning and forced to give his magic up until the can find a cure. Chaos ensues. (Fuegoleon x Nozel)
❤️ Paper Hearts, KaLolasFantasyWorld
Helena Drazel is a twenty five year old Royal from Diamond Kingdom. She's a charming and cheerful woman, ready to leave the sheltered embrace of her family's estate. Her mother previously a Clover citizen and an old friend of late Acier Silva, gets her daughter an invitation to study healing magic in the Capital. Because of that friendship Helena is placed under the care of Royal House of Silva. However the siblings, especially the eldest Nozel, are not so fond of her at the beginning. (Nozel x OC)
❤️ Boys will be Embarrassing, loafingdragon, subtleassiduities
A series of stories documenting Fuegoleon and Nozel's totally-not-gay-completely-serious very-manly escapades over the years. (Fuegoleon x Nozel)
❤️ Damn Eyes, musicalinny
The first time their eyes met he doesn't notice that he actually gave a damn. (Zora x Nebra)
❤️ (Not) At first sight, BBRosenfeld
Finesse is bethrothed to the son of the Vaude family, and she doesn't really mind.
However, she was not expecting how much he'd grow on her. (Finral x Finesse)
Fluffy, Funny, Fix-it
💚 Flower Crowns, Angeliccharizard
During an off day, Asta decides it's a great idea to bring a devil to a church
💚 Owen vs The Black Bulls, WildflowerWoods
Owen has seen a lot in his time as a doctor in the magic knights infirmary, even more since his promotion to head of the royal infirmary, overseeing both the magic knights and ordinary patients. he has dealt with his fair share of stubborn visitors, people hiding injuries and patients trying to escape out the window—Lord Julius himself was a common offender for the last of those—but even treating Mereoleona Vermillion's self-inflicted burns was better than the Black Bulls.
There was nothing that could have prepared Owen for the Black Bulls.
💚 Why Asta (and Liebe) are Banned From the Kitchen, Bluemeanies
After Yami's katana becomes Demon Slicer and joins Asta's grimoire, Asta and Liebe start looking for other things that could be good anti-magic weapons. Liebe might be taking the concept a little too far.
💚 Early Black Bulls (series), Acacia_May
Early Black Bulls Days
💚 An Impossible Decision, MysticalShizz
Mereoleona’s head pops into view, first taking in you, then turning to observe the small girl perched on your hip. Her look of confusion slowly morphs into disbelief, then into incredulity.
“Did … Darling. Did you steal the Silva’s youngest child?”
Fix-It fic where Mereoleona and spouse reader adopt Noelle.
💚 Ghosts, IAmStoryteller
Julius has a bit of a secret.
He can see ghosts of his dear departed friends.
💚 Doggy Days, Undefeated_Lionmess
Yami sends Vanessa, Finral, and Charmy to explore a dungeon. Only two of them come back still human. Finral supposes he’s had worse days.
💚 That One Time When Julius Was Late, wintermelon_soldier
"We're late... again," Marx said with a worried expression.
"Don't worry, Marx. I'm sure everything is just f-"
The Magic Emperor pushed both doors open hoping to greet the Captains only to be welcomed by a vast wasteland. The conference room where it once stood is replaced by a large, empty landmass with no trees or building in sight.
"W-what in the world is happening?" Marx cried at his mentor.
💚 The Vice-Captains of the Magic Knights (series), IAmStoryteller
The Vice-Captains of the Magic Knights series
💚 Teenagers, Kaitouahiru
Yami was going to talk to Julius about the recruitable age of Magic Knights. Make no mistake, Yami did not care that fifteen year olds were being put in dangerous or life threatening situations. He didn’t care that they could be drafted to go to war if the situation called for it. He cared that almost none of these brats knew how to do basic home skills.
💚 faith bleeds through the cracks, TellNearaToWrite
Yami knew three things. First, that being a squad captain was shaping up to be a lot like fatherhood, and second, he was definitely not cut out for that shit. Third. Well. Julius had a lot to answer for, that was for sure. The least he could do was help a bit.
Angst!
🧡 Geranium, Azuvist
The flowers in Yami's lungs never really stopped growing. (Yami x William)
🧡 Black Clover: The Blood of Fate, ChanceQueen
In a dark alternate universe of the clover kingdom, there is one question that no one ever wanted to ask, let alone know the answer to. A question that wraps its claws around you, ripping scars that cannot be seen and will never heal. What if Vanessa had never manifested the red thread of fate?
🧡 Megicula's Curse by MaryJoeycoco
After everything, the Black Bulls thought they were safe. They thought Noelle took care of the devil Megicula. They soon realize how wrong they were.
Now it's up to Asta to save her but he soon realizes how his feelings change about Noelle through the nightmare land. (Asta x Noelle)
The Silva Fics™
Yes, they get their own category. It's the birb siblings. They deserve it.
💙 Artifice, subtleassiduities
When a retrieval mission traps Nozel with a dangerous and powerful artifact, Nebra and Solid struggle to find help before time runs out for him. But their attempts are thwarted by a widespread, rapidly progressing phenomenon: Everybody in the Clover Kingdom is forgetting about Nozel Silva. Their only choice is to depend on one another-- and Noelle, the only other person who can hold onto a memory of their dear brother. Their rescue mission forces them to face their own memories, twisted against them in ways they may not be able to overcome.
💙 Casa Silva, Mouxe (SPANISH)
Conjunto de historias que comenzo para mostrar la relacion de Acier Silva con sus hijos durante la infancia pero termino convirtiendose en relatos de la relacion de los hermanos silva.
💙 Lay Beside Me, Under Wicked Sky, Avacelt
Noelle leaves, and the chips fall where they do. [Silva family!fic, post-canon]
💙 The Boy Who Played with Water, BeamMeUpCas
Nozel only becomes aware of the extreme lengths his siblings were going to torment their youngest when Nebra, of all people, appears sweaty and disheveled in his office, stuttering and stammering about how Solid has Noelle trapped in a water bubble in the rose garden and she isn't moving
Or: Solid nearly drowns Noelle. Nozel flips his shit and becomes the halfway decent big brother he was meant to be.
💙 My Father Told Me (series), succulentsunrise
My Father Told Me is a series, which attempts to understand the effects that the Silva parents must have had on their children, and how the age gaps and personalities between the children themselves affected their relationships.
💙 Make an Effort, IAmStoryteller
Solid isn’t very nice or kind or gentle. He knows this, but when he is hit with the realization that Nozel and Nebra might not know that he loves them, he sets out to show his love and appreciation for his two older siblings. And maybe, extend an olive brand or two…
💙 What Yami Saw by BeamMeUpCas
Nozel needs a favor. Yami will maybe not hold it over his head for all eternity but he'll take great delight in letting Nozel think he will.
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My first blogged short story awhile ago that I just thought of posting to... Idk. I guess to relieve myself of some things by turning it into embellished fiction. It was more well-received than I thought. Now this is the third. Thanks for reading. -Rei
It's Not the Same, a short story on an aroace POV
Sunny mornings, cool windy breezes and the sparse green. That was what most days were like with you, my dearest friend.
Sprawled on the ground of your small yard. Green was hard to come by sadly.
We were both young and lived like the world was a fantasy.
Although, I wished I could be in a better fantasy. With you, of course.
A cottage in the woods, surrounded by green, yellows, blues, pinks and violets. Even young, I wanted an idyllic life.
Wouldn't that be a great fantasy.
And I told you about it. Would you want to be there with me too? When we're both older and have to live in reality, let's have this piece of fantasy. Together.
Oh how happy my words made you look. Sparkly eyed youth with red tinted cheeks.
Then you held out your pinky... Oh, right. Of course I would promise.
I want to be with you even years later. And I know you feel the same way as you told me too.
...
.....
But perhaps, it wasn't exactly the same way.
...
We grew older into bigger kids though still kids and still the closest of bonds there is.
Adults say we look cute together as we continue to grow older. Mmm... I mean, I suppose? Individually we look cute, so together we're cuter. I think I understand the logic.
Or maybe I misunderstood.
... I don't know.
Hm? You seem more timid when they say that.
Everyone looked on with a knowing smile or glance.
I... Really don't understand.
...
....
And sometimes I wished I continued to stay ignorant.
But that would be unfair to you, no?
...
Getting even older. It wasn't that exciting to me, in all honesty.
I think I'm starting to get into the reality of growing older... Not that fun. Oh, how I daydreamed of our childhood fantasies when I'm bored.
I never gave up on that dream as I continue to dream it night and day. Do you still remember?
Of course you do. You would encourage and support me too. I know I will want you to be there with me.
You know, that was what I was most looking forward to in getting older. To be with you in that fantasy like I've told you many years ago.
You smiled softly at the declaration I said out loud.
Although, these days... I don't think it'll be just as I wanted. I... Don't know what it is. I don't know where is it not what I wanted.
...
....
But later, I know what it was.
....
Huh? Pardon? What did you say?
My mind stopped working. Or rather, it was working but it was working to block out the words I don't understand why I was denying. Did that make sense?
Hm... Anyway, erm, I understand what you said that you were feeling. Towards me to be exact. And I understand the context of said feelings...
Maybe I did a while ago...
If I said I don't feel the same way or rather, I never will feel the same and I never did feel the same... No, that's not an 'if'. I should say it and I did.
The eyes that looked at me fondly and with growing attraction I chose to ignore when I became aware of its nature now looked hurt. Because I hurt you with this truth.
You thought I felt the same. That I liked you... Or possibly even loved you.
And I did and still do. But... It wasn't ever the same way as you. It took me long to be aware of that.
I... I'm sorry.
...
.....
It wasn't the same ever since that day and I sometimes grieved because of that fact.
So this is reality for us, huh.
....
You looked great together.
I said that as I attended your wedding. Now those words are truly fitting.
You smiled a small smile as I did the same.
It really wasn't the same anymore. But that's not always a bad thing. If it meant that I could see you smile again and have your heart be reciprocated the same way, then it definitely isn't now.
You're still my dearest friend... No matter what.
...
.....
"Hey... So house—or rather, cottagewarming party soon?"
"Yeah. Don't be late."
...
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