#if i was watching some shit and someone was like Would They Be That Autistic [as to do that]? like excuse you....? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

micer2012 · 5 months

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a reflection on MatPat's plagiarism

Hello, my name is Della, or micer2012, and 2 years ago Game Theory plagiarized three Tumblr posts of mine, making a video that now holds almost 6 million views.

My posts explaining his plagiarism made their rounds on Reddit, Tumblr and Twitter, but despite the Hermits and Pooka commenting on it (generally in support of me or saying they don’t know enough details about the situation to say either way), MatPat and his team have never owned up to anything, and no mention of my name is present on the video. The one Reddit post they made denying it (which was made before my detailed takedown, which they have never responded to (though the mods on the r/GameTheorists Reddit were kind and made sure it stayed up)) didn’t even mention me by name, just referring to me as “a tumblr user”. (Though one of the screenshotted comments in the body of the post does say my name)

This experience was baffling, but it’s overall had a positive impact on my life. r/Hermitcraft gave me a Golden Apple Award (post of the year, 2021). My inbox was filled with excited fans, wanting to ask me questions or pose their own theories, far more than the hate I got. (Though the hate I got from Game Theory fans was VERY funny. I wondered why none of them gave me shit about saying “MatPat misgendered Evil Xisuma” before realizing none of them read that far into the post.)

And getting on a more personal, and much more important note, I met most of my current online friends through this, including my partner. It helped me grow closer with my irl friends as well and gave me an entertaining story that I tell whenever I have the chance. It was one of the first things in my life that really made me feel like my talents, my autistic hyperfocusing and analyzing of things I love, could be valuable. Useful. Exploitable. It blew my mind that MatPat thought an autistic kid’s ramblings about a Minecraft Youtube joke character were good enough to steal. To put an audible sponsorship on. To get 6 million views off of.

And that’s why I’m writing this post, this update years later. As you might’ve been able to guess, Hbomberguy’s Youtube video on plagiarism reopened this wound. It was really hard for me to sit through, it took days of pausing and taking breaks, because I had experienced everything he was talking about firsthand.

In my 10 page long takedown post, I wrote about how his rewording of my sentences made him say things that were incorrect, just like Filip did. The content farm production style that made big companies like Cinemassacre take one creator (AVGN/MatPat) and turn him and his content into a brand, a voice that reads out scripts by other people with other opinions/theories, is a history shared with Game Theory. What really hit me was Harris talking about how big creators only do this to people they think they can get away with doing it to. How they view their victims as lesser, as not deserving of their words, repackaging them as their own to give to an audience that can gain from hearing them, but deserves better than to have to listen to the original victim.

That’s the thing, I 100% think a video version of my theory to expose to a bigger community than “Evil Xisuma Fans on Tumblr” is a great idea!! Near the end of the video Harris talks about how video adaptations of things could be a great market, even an accessibility tool, and I completely feel that about my posts. I wrote them quickly assuming the reader was someone well versed on Evil Xisuma lore, after not even watching most of the CarnEvil series, and the diagrams I made to explain them are even less comprehensible. Harris makes a joke that I completely agree with,

“I’m sure some of my videos would do very well if someone translated them into English.”

I don’t think I would’ve ever made my posts if I didn’t have autism, and a special fixation on Evil Xisuma and Hermitcraft. I made them because I felt the character was being done an injustice, and because I wanted to share with other superfans this theory that might explain it away. I do think that MatPat plagiarizing me was ableist. I used to wonder a lot if this would’ve happened if my posts were articulated better, if they had been peer reviewed, if the posts themselves had been spread to a wider audience before MatPat made his video. At one point when the discourse was fresh (before I had the time to write out my 10 page rebuttal), a bigger YouTuber (100k subs at the time) messaged me and started talking on Discord, interested in possibly making a video on the discourse, but I think my style of typing and general enthusiasm drove him away. You can tell by a single look at my blog (or my original 3 posts!) that I don’t usually type like this. This post you’re reading now has been peer reviewed and edited, and took me hours to format correctly. That video could’ve been huge, the entire outcome of this MatPat situation would probably be much different.

I also used to stress a lot about “being the one who ruined Evil Xisuma’s story”. If you didn’t know, to me S8 Evil Xisuma’s story got wrapped up pretty quickly and unsatisfying (in my personal autistic opinion). (though this might’ve been due to s8 being experimental and ending early with moon big) There was no real culmination of the plot points and arcs going on, and I don’t want to blame myself, but when Xisuma said on stream (when the MatPat thing was first going on) that he didn’t want to focus on the discourse or draw more attention to it, it makes a lot of sense to me that he just wanted to wrap it all up as quickly as possible. For a while I beat myself up about it, of ruining the story of this character I love, but it’s not my fault. If anyone’s, it’s MatPats, but I don’t think it’s useful to just blame someone else. That’s how the story ended up going, and that’s fine. This is Evil Xisuma we’re talking about, their inconsistent lore is what made them such an interesting character. And notably, Pooka made an animation with an awesome culmination of Jeff, the Dreamer, Evil Xisuma, and his own sona’s story, and it makes me so happy to watch. Whatever Pooka does is of course his own choice, but I’m glad he got to give this personal story his own ending (if it is an ending, and not just the start of a new chapter!).

Typing this all out and getting it off my chest has made me feel a lot better. For a while I wanted to make my OWN video essay about Evil Xisuma’s lore and CarnEvil’s lore, actually going episode by episode to explain it instead of just assuming you knew as much about Evil Xisuma as I did. That idea is still not off the table, but MCYT isn’t something I’m that into right now. Maybe if something else comes out about Evil Xisuma I’ll get back on it, but for now I’m fine with letting that go. But I want to make other videos, share other theories and analysis… if I have the freetime I’d love to make YouTube videos, and if I don’t have the time I’ll continue posting to my tumblr and infodumping to my friends. Apparently my infodumping is valuable enough “content” to steal! Writing this out has made me feel a lot better though, I’m really glad I got it out.

If anyone ever wants to talk to me about the things I’m obsessed with, or reach out to me as a source in a bigger discussion about Game Theory or other channels, my inbox is more than welcome :] Thank you for reading!

Sincerely, a tumblr user.

#exiavojtmmc #hermitcraft #matpat #gt #game theory #hc #mcyt #evil xisuma #hbomberguy #plagiarism #james somerton #jeff the minion #mine #micer2012 #hcs9

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underestimated-heroine · 22 days

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The fact that radfems spread this post around is actually really interesting--infuriating, but interesting. Because what they've really done here is tell on themselves.

This is the shrimp guy story:

From an anonymous green text called "shrimp saved my life" [emphasis mine]:

>be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before >he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew >We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

He did address his relationship with women. By finding a hobby and passion and working on himself--"touching grass"--he stepped away from the echo chamber that filled him with all this rage and convinced him women were to blame for all of his problems. As someone once wisely observed, "the cure is going offline and realizing it's just. really not that big a deal."

And that is what radfems have not done, so of course they didn't spot the quiet flashpoint of shrimp guy's personal development within his story.

Edit: it's been brought to my attention that the version of the greentext post I lifted the text from was censored by someone else. My bad for not realizing that, tbh it was done so well I thought shrimp guy had done it himself, but that's an important part of the post. I've gone back through and un-censored it. The reply which was spread around with the original post addressed the words themselves well, I think; however distasteful and fucked up the incel rabbit hole is, it doesn't diminish his growth.

#posts i actually wrote #cw radical feminism #cw transphobia #incels

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wisteriaiswriting · 3 months

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Can you do an autistic trans(if you do that) male reader who doesn’t really get social cues but is overall pretty quiet and reserved with the people from the Hazbin hotel?

𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕪

Words: 1111

𝔸𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣:

He will be unaware at first, so his first impression about you is not good. Thinks you’re being rude on purpose, but when he finds out that's not the case he’ll feel slightly bad.

For his assumptions he’ll subtly apologize by dropping presents in your room (Unnamed of course.) and lending you a helping hand.

If you two become close he will take you to his tailor to get matching suits, different colours obviously, can’t have you taking his signature colour now, can we?

***

For the first few days you’ve been at the hotel Alastor has been weirdly stand offish. Others didn’t mind, often glad he’s staying away rather than closer. But you wanted to know why, so you asked Charlie.

Who asked Alastor, to which he gracefully answered.

“Well, I don’t enjoy seeing terrible manners around the hotel, surely you don’t either?” At his words the reason for avoidance clicked in her head.

“Why didn't you say so? Well knowing you, you wouldn’t… But Y/N isn’t that good with social cues, so he doesn’t mean any of, whatever he’s been doing.”

“Oh…” At her words he left the room, finding you. “Well hello my Handsome fellow,”

“Hi?” After his most recent actions you didn’t expect him to just waltz up to you.

“Unfortunately someone has ruined my suit,” Correct, a good chunk was missing. “And hopefully you would accompany me?”

“Sure, I guess?”

“Perfect!”

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕖:

She's unsurprisingly similar when it comes to social cues.

When it comes to you being autistic or trans she won’t notice, that’ll be the last thing she knows.

You two can not be left alone, someone will need to supervise you both.

***

It has been barely a week since you fell into hell and it’s been terrible. There were too many things happen that you could say or even recall, so today was meant to be relaxing. Or at least somewhat close, until someone pulled you around.

They were your only friend here, so of course you had to follow. After a few hours walking around you found you both in front of a hotel, one called the ‘Hazbin hotel.’ Excitedly knocking at the door while you watched.

Within seconds the door swung open revealing an excited blonde.

“Oh my, hi!” Pulling you both in as she spoke, which allowed you to see other people hanging around. “I’m Charlie, and welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

“Told ya you’d like it here.”

You were both aware nothing was said beforehand but you didn’t confront them. Seemed like the others knew something was up, so they had Charlie pull you away.

“Since you're new, how about a private tour of the Hazbin Hotel?”

𝕍𝕒𝕘𝕘𝕚𝕖:

Compared to the other hotel residents your quietness is a surprise, but a welcome one at that.

If you ask or signal at all to her she’ll be at your side to subtly help you with social cues and anything else needed.

Especially if you’re new (Also if not) she’ll help you get masculine clothing, although she might have to get others help as she isn’t the most masculine either.

***

Charlie had just brought you to the hotel in a… not so good condition. She wasn’t sure what you went through to look like that but she knew you needed some help, and she was going to help where she could.

“Alastor, I need your help”

“Hmm?”

“You know the newbie, I have to get him some clothes. Problem is I have no clue where to go.” At her words his smile increases slightly.

“I could help, for a price…”

“Nevermind.”

While she wanted to help she wouldn’t risk anything with Alastor, maybe Angel would be better.

𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝 𝔻𝕦𝕤𝕥:

He’s seen some shit during his time down in hell, so your actions and attitude isn’t seen as weird to him.

To a degree he’ll take advantage of you. Never anything you wouldn’t want, but to keep him safe from Vaggie or Alastor.

But only he can do it, if anyone else even tries he’ll be there to protect you.

***

“Vaggie, why would I do that?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe you–”

“Doesn’t matter, I would never when Y/N is with me!”

At his words Vaggie looked down at you, finding you wrapped in Angels pairs of arms. You had a few blooming bruises around your face but otherwise seemed alright.

“Just… Don’t do it again, I don’t want to see Y/N or Charlie get mad at you.”

“Really, Y/N mad at me? Never!” One pair of hands had come up to cup your cheeks, able to leave multiple kisses. Causing Vaggie to leave quickly.

“Now, let me take care of those bruises.”

𝕊𝕚𝕣 ℙ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤:

He’s been thrown into the same boat as you, has absolutely no understanding of social cues.

If anything the eggs make it worse, as they are somehow worse than sir pentious.

He has accidentally hurt the both of you at once somehow, no one is sure how that happened.

***

The streets didn’t seem too busy, which was weird for hell. But it might’ve been the fact you and Sir Pentious just weren’t aware of them walking. His tail was swaying dangerously behind him, knocking over any people.

During this his eggs were scattered around the both of you. Some stayed behind, in between and some strayed next to you. Which caused an even bigger barrier to form, now people had to step off the path.

ℍ𝕦𝕤𝕜:

When he first meets you he won’t really care, he’s had worst people hang around.

If he’s being honest he understands and gets social cues, but majority of the time he just doesn’t care about them.

Even then he knows with your lack of awareness you’re likely to get into some unwanted trouble, so he hangs around a lot more.

***

Husk never had the heart to blame you for any trouble, he knew you never meant it. So tonight he accompanied you to a nearby bar, intending for at least a semi-nice night out. But of course someone had to ruin it.

A drunk demon decided he wanted to bother you for the night, ignoring Husk the whole time. But over time his anger rose, you weren’t even looking at him and you didn’t seem interested.

In which you weren’t, but he seemed so incessant that you spoke, even if you didn’t. His attitude quickly became clear very quickly, except you didn’t notice. As he reached for you Husk was quicker, sending a card flying into his head.

That caused everyone to start their own fights. Which gave you two the chance to leave, with minimal injuries of course. Taking the chance you both ran out, luckily no one else was waiting outside.

“We’re going back.”

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel charlie #charlie x reader #hazbin hotel vaggie #vaggie x reader #hazbin hotel angel dust #angle dust x reader #hazbin hotel sir pentious #sir pentious x reader #hazbin hotel husk #husk x reader #wisteria♥

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fellthemarvelous · 7 days

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Aziraphale hate makes my brain hurt.

Like let's be really fuckin' for real here.

Neurodivergent fans have repeatedly said that Aziraphale is autistic coded. I agree with them. I have never been diagnosed but I wonder about myself. If only I could get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test me for it, but alas, I'm a 43-year-old woman living in the good ole US of A.

Those with religious trauma have repeatedly said that they identify with him as well. I'm one of those people. I endured 12 years of Catholic schools and just as much time being taught a very black and white view of things that I've had to spend more than 20 goddamn fucking years working to unlearn.

I find that my views as a survivor of religious abuse are often dismissed because people keep wanting to say "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma." Yes, thank you, I get that, but unless you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed into a very black and white view of the world, you probably don't understand the kind of feelings Aziraphale's onscreen experiences evoke in so many of us. Heaven might not be real, but the feelings of "God is always watching" still stick with me today even though I no longer believe in God. I have entirely denounced Christianity because of my own personal experience, and I refuse to allow people to try and guilt me or shame me for trauma that I didn't ask for. I wasn't given a choice.

As a child I was told that God was real and always watching everything you do (just like Santa Claus) and can hear everything you say and knows everything you are thinking. Do you know what I learned to do in order to cope with this overwhelming and anxiety-inducing information as a small child? I learned to censor my thoughts. I never spoke up, and I have always felt like I was putting on a show for people because I had to be who I was told to be or I would get into trouble.

Aziraphale said "poverty is a virtue" during The Resurrectionists, and as someone who grew up in the Bible belt and went to private schools, I was taught this very same shit by the Catholic church. He learned in that very same episode that "poverty is a virtue" is actually a tool of oppression to keep the poor poor and the wealthy wealthy. I know we all watched the episode. He went into that episode believing what he said, but by the end of it he knew it was actually utter bullshit. Aziraphale is not ignorant. He's highly intelligent, and he has never been too proud to admit when he has been wrong. He accepts that the information he learned before is not matching up with reality.

And it's so obvious some of you have zero experience with that type of indoctrination because of how very little empathy you show Aziraphale for his "mistake" of "choosing Heaven over Crowley" and "making Crowley sad" so clearly Aziraphale must somehow be "abusive" and "manipulative" and "selfish" and "self-centered" because he didn't choose to run away with Crowley at the end of season two.

First of all.

FIRST OF ALL...

Aziraphale has a mind of his own.

Aziraphale is always going to try and do what is right.

Aziraphale is an angel. He's a being of love. And the reason he's so "bad" at being an angel is because he actually wants to protect humanity. He has always loved humanity. He repeatedly has to contend with what is "right" versus what is "good" and "wrong" versus "evil". Yeah, he has flaws. He's an angel, not a goddamn fucking saint. He has lived on Earth for more than 6,000 years. He has seen everything. He loves doing human things.

He's obsessed with magic. It makes him so happy. He's not very good at it...well not when he's trying to put on a show for Crowley.

He chose to learn French the hard way, so even though he knows every single language in the world, he chooses to be mediocre at French. Something that annoys and amuses Crowley at the same time.

He loves to dance even though angels aren't supposed to dance, and dancing with Crowley was what he wanted the most.

He owns a bookshop and refuses to sell any of his books because they are books he's had for as long as there have been books. He will chase customers away from his collection, and Crowley understands how much they mean to Aziraphale because he refuses to sell any when Aziraphale leaves him in charge.

He and Crowley have been speaking to each other in coded language for more than 6,000 years. They have to be very careful about what they say because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Heaven has photographs of Crowley and Aziraphale sitting or standing together throughout history. Hell had one photo of Crowley and Aziraphale actually working together and it was Aziraphale's quick thinking and how good he actually is at sleight of hand tricks that managed to get that photo out of Furfur's hands so he wouldn't be able to turn Crowley over to the Dark Council.

Aziraphale saved Crowley from being taken to Hell again. He wasn't able to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh, but he sure as heck managed to save Crowley from Hell during WWII. He took Crowley to his bookshop and showed Crowley that he stole the picture from Furfur. He saved Crowley.

You get that, right?

Aziraphale SAVED Crowley.

People always talk about how it's "always Crowley saving Aziraphale" because apparently heroic acts are only heroic when they are grand gestures. The sleight of hand wasn't heroic at all, am I right? It wasn't sparkly and showy. It wasn't interesting enough, therefore not heroic. At least that's all I'm hearing when people start with their "blah Aziraphale deserves to suffer because I have no imagination or ability to understand the media in front of me blah", and all these reasons he deserves to suffer is because Crowley almost got hurt.

Aziraphale did that without flinching and I watch that part closely every single time. He's not scared for himself. He's scared for Crowley, and he managed to hold onto that photograph. He did not fail Crowley. He protected Crowley.

And so here's another thing that we like to point out. The way that Aziraphale, an angel who is effeminate and male presenting, an angel who is soft and full of love, an angel who is kind and forgiving because he has empathy and compassion, is somehow painted as abusive and manipulative. He's not violent, but he could easily fuck up your world. He doesn't use his powers. We have no idea how powerful he is because we only ever see him do small acts. He's used to hiding. It's the only way he has ever been able to protect Crowley.

And I'm not saying that Aziraphale has actually saved Crowley before means that Crowley hasn't also saved Aziraphale. Like, you get that those are not mutually exclusive and their relationship is not transactional, right? They have spent their entire existence protecting each other but never actually getting to be together because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Yeah, Crowley fell. We all know this. We are aware of this. He was the serpent of Eden. He gave humanity the knowledge of free will.

But what we don't talk about is what Aziraphale gave humanity.

What did he give them?

We all know what it is!

Let's say it together!

He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword because it was dangerous outside the garden and Eve was pregnant and she was already having a really bad day. He showed them compassion and gave them his extremely powerful angelic weapon so they would stand a chance on the outside of the garden. He gave humanity the gift of compassion. It's just unfortunate that his flaming sword became a weapon of War.

And then what did he do after that?

Ooooh, yeah, that's right.

God asked him about it and he straight up lied to her and pretended he had no idea where he'd managed to misplace it. She didn't say anything after that. He told Crowley the truth though. He told Crowley the truth even though Crowley fell.

Yeah, we know Aziraphale has done some really fucking questionable things. He and Crowley both suck at passing for human in front of observant people like Nina. They're not human. They are still learning, but they managed to experience human history together despite being on opposite sides and their experiences with humanity are what has shaped them into the compassionate and loving duo they are now. One of them is not better from the other.

This, my friends, is what we call meeting in the middle. It's why shades of gray is so important. Aziraphale constantly breaks the rules. Crowley refused to play by Heaven's rules. It's the reason he fell. He doesn't play by Hell's rules either. These two dorks figured out how to cancel each others' miracles out throughout human history in order to have more time learning about humanity and each other because working all day every day sucks when there are so many new things to learn and experience with the people you love.

We know Crowley and Aziraphale both love each other. Neither of them are good at hiding the hearts stars in their eyes.

But here's what's really fucking annoying about the Aziraphale hate.

Aziraphale was already crying when Crowley grabbed him and kissed him. Aziraphale is trying so very hard to do the right thing. He loves Crowley. He does. But he also has a duty to humanity, and he has taken that job very seriously since the creation of Adam and Eve. He sent them out into the world with a flaming sword so they would have a chance at surviving beyond the walls of the garden.

And he knows that Something Terrible is going to happen and he spent all of second season trying to figure out what that Something Terrible was while trying to have some sort of more honest and open relationship with Crowley, but again, they aren't human, they are a demon and an angel approaching life from opposite sides who met in the middle and fell in love with humanity together.

He wants more than anything to tell Crowley how he feels about him, but he wants to do something grand for Crowley because Crowley has always been grand and dramatic and sexy and a little bit scary.

Crowley is impulsive and has a temper and sometimes says the wrong thing but he has always trusted Aziraphale because Aziraphale gave him a chance even after he fell. Aziraphale chose to shelter him instead of smiting him while they stood on top of that wall. He knew he was supposed to kill Crowley, but oops, he gave his sword away to the humans so he didn't really have anything to kill him with and Crowley is the one who created nebulas. The Pillars of Creation is Crowley's work and Aziraphale was there to witness that, but he watched Crowley more than he watched the nebula. He witnessed the pure joy on Crowley's face when he said "let there be light" as a nebula full of colors exploded before their eyes. He was fascinated by Crowley.

But Aziraphale is going back to Heaven even though he has made it perfectly clear he absolutely has no desire to go back to Heaven. He told the Metatron this during their conversation. He spoke these words out loud. They exist.

But then The Metatron said this....

The Metatron. The very same angel who told Aziraphale in season one "to speak to me is to speak to the Almighty." He's the boss. He's the big guy. He's used to existing as a giant head and he had to give himself a body so he wouldn't stand out on Earth. And he knows that Aziraphale and Crowley have been working together since the beginning. He knows they worked together to prevent Armageddon in season one, and now he's made it clear he knows they were working together long before that. And let's face it, Aziraphale really wants to know what this Something Terrible is that Gabriel is running from so he can try to prevent it from happening.

It makes sense that he would want to take Crowley to Heaven with him because he would be able to keep Hell from getting their hands on him again. Aziraphale hates it in Heaven. He doesn't want to go, but Something Terrible is happening and Metatron isn't taking no for an answer, and maybe Heaven won't be so bad if Crowley is there with him. At least they can fix Heaven together.

But Crowley can't go back. We all get that. We don't blame him for saying no. It doesn't change anything.

Something Terrible is about to happen and Aziraphale has to figure out what it is. He wants to change Heaven.

He is fully aware that Heaven sucks. He still has faith in God. His faith isn't in Heaven. He deserted his platoon in season one and threw himself back to Earth so he could figure out how to make sure the war between Heaven and Hell doesn't happen.

But see, here's the thing. Heaven is at the top. Heaven has all the resources. Heaven is responsible for the creation of Hell. Heaven is empty and Hell is overpopulated. Aziraphale knows this. Crowley knows this. It's obvious every time we see either place. Both sides are desperate to go to war and will not hesitate to destroy humanity in the process. This is the opposite of what Crowley and Aziraphale want for humanity. If anyone can change Heaven, it's Aziraphale. He's the only one up there who gives a shit about humanity as far as we know. No one else is going to speak on humanity's behalf.

Some of us are so busy getting mad at Aziraphale for going back to Heaven and giving Crowley a Big Sad. Newsflash: Crowley is not the main character of Good Omens. Aziraphale and Crowley are equals, yet we wanna hold Aziraphale to higher standards because he's an angel, and when he makes mistakes it's proof that he's the bad guy.

Holy mother of all things that trigger my religious trauma, let me tell you. I spent my entire life hating myself every time I made mistakes. I've had to teach myself that just because I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I'm human. I still struggle with it. I probably always will. So when you say that Aziraphale deserves to be punished for breaking Crowley's heart, you not only ignore that Aziraphale's heart is also broken, you're saying he deserves to be punished for doing what he thinks is right.

Wanting to change Heaven for the better is not a bad thing.

And some of y'all wanna see him suffer for going back into the lion's den that is Heaven, knowing that he is already an outcast, that they have already tried to kill him once, knowing that he is a deserter, that he has been lying to Heaven about a lot of things, and you still think he's blinded by Heaven? You think he's just so naive and that's the only reason he's going back. He doesn't show his emotions the same way Crowley does so it means he doesn't care as much. He's expected to consider Crowley's feelings over his own when making choices. Like holy shit if all of that hasn't defined my experience as a woman with religious trauma in this fucking society. He's expected to be subservient to Crowley and if he doesn't do what Crowley wants then he's being unreasonable and illogical.

What the actual fuck, y'all.

Like seriously.

I'm sick of this bullshit. I had to step away from this fandom because of how toxic some people in this fandom are. It's not chasing me away, but the fact that I chose to hang out in a a more toxic fandom that is already notorious for being really toxic over a fandom that claims to be more open-minded and welcoming should probably tell you something.

It gave me a lot of perspective, and yeah, I'm still gonna speak up against the bullshit Aziraphale hate.

People are entitled to their opinions, but the Aziraphale hate isn't an opinion. It's just ableist, misogynistic garbage. At this point we all know y'all say these extreme things about Aziraphale because y'all get more joy out of the harm and alienation it is causing others.

Keep being loudly wrong, but if you think I'm not entitled to challenge shitty-ass, harmful, hateful discourse, bite my ass.

I'm not the one who lost the plot in this fandom.

#autistic coded character #religious trauma #good omens #aziraphale #aziraphale defense squad #i'm in a mood #like i'm begging y'all to learn what empathy is #like goddamn i know i'm not perfect but at least i don't forget that the reason for everything in good omens is love #neil has said this several times #it's one thing to dislike a character #it's another to assassinate characters in ways that blatantly contradict what the narrative has told us #and try to pass it off as canon #if you wanna send me hate just hit the block button instead #i'll try to be really sad about it #and if you just have to send me hatemail at least have the courage to attach it to your name instead of hiding behind anon #i'm too old for this shit #i'm gonna go back to the star wars tag now #it's been a minute since i went off and today proved to be the perfect day for it

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alostlittleriverlotus · 2 months

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what also gets me about people being so adamant about using the word "narcissist" or some form of it to describe shitty people is...there are other words. I was just watching a drew gooden video and he said "If you knowingly take part in something that has the potential to put other people in harm's way and you still do it cause it's kind of fun for you, you are selfish and you suck." (It's the gender reveal party.)

Just seeing how many commentary YouTubers, especially more leftist ones that talk about the heavier side of things like misogynists and seeing them use the term narcissistic or delusional is just. We HAVE other words we can use! We HAVE USED other words for years before narcissistic became a big trend to say and narcissistic abuse really ramped up as a pop psychology trend.

It is literally SO easy to use other words. You can Google similar words. Selfish, self centered, self righteous, egotistical, arrogant, entitled. One of the best words I find is probably entitled. Because a lot of bigots and misogynists and shit that usually get delusional and narcissistic thrown at them are really more self centered, arrogant, and entitled. Self interested, self obsessed. Especially since for abusers, misogynists, other shitty people, the entitled comes from the fact it is NORMALIZED!!!!! It is not a bunch of narcissists harming people, it is a society, a world, that has normalized this behaviour. They are entitled, they are abusive, they are selfish, they are cruel. There are so many OTHER WORDS to describe your abuse, to describe shitty people. Just call them abusers or bigots for fucks sake. And even if some delusional people may get roped into it cause they're vulnerable, typically it is a lot of people who are INTENTIONALLY doing it. It is normalized, it is allowed!

All we narcissists ask is that you not use a word that demonizes us. "There's a difference" yet other people say there isn't, other people say NPD isn't even fucking real, other people say pwNPD ARE abusive. If we used any kind of other word for the more "talked about" disorders, there would be a problem. We ask that you change it, we ask that you use other words, we ask that you not further add to the stigma. The same stigma that BPD deals with, that autistic people deal with, that any neurodivergent person deals with. The stigma and demonization is something ALL neurodivergencies have fucking faced!!! It may have moved away from demonization for a lot of disorders, but there ARE people that DO still believe it.

We fucking ask you literally use any other word. And you refuse to. You refuse to listen to us. You refuse to believe us when we tell you the harm it has and how it actually prevents us from finding resources. You say "of course a narcissist would want that." You see it as an attack on you and your trauma. You are throwing trauma victims at risk of abuse under the bus because you want to feel vindicated in your own trauma. You completely ignore any critical thinking of what we say to turn it against us, to ignore us, to bring up your own trauma as a defense point. Yes, you were abused by someone and it is terrible that happened. So were we!!! My abusive mom probably has NPD, but it did not affect the abuse I faced, it only add strains in our relationship outside of the abuse that still affect us to this day.

It is SO easy to find another word, to literally just listen to us, to not throw us under the same fucking bus. To not group us in with abusers and rapists and child sex offenders and murderers. Would you fucking like to be compared to your abuser? Pretty sure you fucking wouldn't. So why is it okay to do to us?

Some people will never listen. No matter what I say, it does not matter. As with any kind of thinking along these lines. But for those that are still reachable, please. Listen to us. And what would you even do if you found yourself having NPD traits? Wouldn't it be terrifying to see that in yourself? Because I sure as hell thought it was. It made me hate myself and further believe that I could NEVER do any wrong because I wasn't like my narcissistic abusers and worsened my relationship difficulties. A fair bit of narcissists on here had also fallen into that same hole. It doesn't heal you. It keeps you angry, scared, upset. It makes you want to hurt them back. And that will not heal you. It'll keep you defensive. It's keeping you in a victim mentality and preventing healing.

To the ones that ARE reachable, I hope you can learn something from my posts, from posts I reblog, or from any other posts. It starts with narcissists and "psychopaths" (antisocials), but it is the same place the stigma of every neurodivergency and mental disorder stems from. It's why other disorders may still get demonization from some ableists. That a lot of autistic experiences were based around how it affected OTHER PEOPLE like "think of their mom having that autistic kid :(" it is not anything new. It is the same ableism and stigma. It is less demonized for other disorders now, focusing more on treating it as no big deal, ignoring the actual difficult symptoms of such disorders (like if you have poor hygiene, people will judge you regardless), or even infantilization. There IS still stigma, but the stigma was once the same as us, demonization. It comes from the same place. It's things said about other disorders still today even if it is rarer. It's just more well known for the "scary" personality and psychotic disorders since there is a big push to destigmatize things like depression, anxiety, OCD, autism.

Do not throw us under the bus. It will do nothing. It is the same fucking stigma, the same fucking arguments. Like gay people throwing trans people under the bus, they're called the same things even if it seems like they aren't. It comes from the same bigotry, the same place of hatred.

It is not new, it is not different, it just is more common for personality disorders, psychotic disorders, and schizospec disorders. So when we bring up these things, mention how using the term directly associated with a disorder in the DSM V and how it prevents us getting help, how using the term narcissistic DOES correlate to NPD, please fucking listen.

Cause nothing will ultimately benefit you for continuing down that rabbit hole. Narcissistic abuse believers don't help victims of abuse, those articles and questions don't help you heal. It keeps you angry how anyone could do that, it takes advantage of your vulnerability and desire to find meaning and logic out of it. The reality is, you may never know why or at least not until you are away from the abuse.

We are trauma victims as well. We are still at risk of abuse because of our disorder. I would genuinely stay with an abuser just for the sake of narc supply regardless of how they hurt me if I did not have a good support system. For our "toxic" traits, we cannot work on them without help and the idea of narcissistic abuse pushes stigma further which prevents us from even finding free online resources, let alone if we actually tried to seek any fucking help.

Narcissistic abuse is not real and it will never be. Please fucking include us in "mental health matters" and the push for destigmatizing disorders. We are fucking humans that need help. And even if we were all toxic and selfish hypothetically, removing the ability to find resources or get help is NOT the way to go.

Even when I believed in narcissistic abuse, I would search to find answers on why I aligned with NPD if I wasn't an abuser or a bad person. I was terrified to even suspect it despite how much attention and love and supply I needed and how that applied to the very essence of my being. Even when I examined my own actions, all I found was treating it as if they're the utter worst of humanity. Even with my toxic and unhealthy acts because I was a fucking traumatized teen with no experience for relationships of any kind especially not healthy ones, I could not find answers or help. And all that did was reassure me that I WAS the good person, that I was JUSTIFIED in my toxic desires because I was traumatized. It did not help me with my emotional regulation, it worsened it.

Even if narcissists WERE all abusers or toxic and bad, they deserve fucking help and a chance to be able to see their actions in a better light. Some people may never change, but plenty will if given resources and actual professional help. The idea of narcissistic abuse refuses that and just demonizes it and NOBODY wants to be demonized, NOBODY wants to believe they're a bad person. The term narcissistic abuse and the environment and community surrounding it is toxic. It always will be. That is inherently what it is about. It kept me terrified that someone might call me an abusive narcissist because of my emotional difficulties, that someone would take me out of context and turn me into a monster like my family had done my entire fucking life. It keeps you defensive, it keeps you scared, it keeps you mistrustful, it keeps you in those trauma responses. It does not fucking help victims find peace of mind or heal. It keeps you triggered.

Also NPD isn't just a single disorder on its own. It's comorbid or the person could be ND in other ways. BPD + NPD, it has some genetic factors so a narcissistic parent may increase likelihood you have it, there are DID systems with it. You are not just throwing people with purely ONLY NPD under the bus, but whoever else may have it that may also fall under many other categories. I'm autistic and have NPD, I'm a system with NPD, I'm schizospec and psychotic with NPD. I have ADHD and NPD. They may not be directly related and comorbid, but I do still fall under these other categories. So autistics throwing people with NPD under the bus does nothing for the narcissists that are also fucking autistic. So by throwing narcissists under the bus, you are throwing a LOT of people with that disorder that also have other forms of neurodivergency under the bus as well. And the stigma all comes from the same place anyway.

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zimthandmade · 9 days

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I hope you have a good day, friend.

Thank you for your art, you absolute sunshine! Your creative energy is unmatched. Keep doing what you're doing. I want to get lost in this wonderful world of your creation.

You have a talent for making characters come to life and feel real. I aspire to make art with this same level of conceptual realism. (Can I, in theory, ask for art advice if I ever muster up the courage?)

Can we see more art with L, please? 👉👈

( What does his room look like? Do you think he has other interests besides detective work? What's his sexuality? Will his lower back ever not hurt? Is he lonely? Does he have empathy? Does he feel like a horrible person or a failure deep down? What is his favourite food (non-sweet)? Do you think he's autistic? Deontology vs utilitarianism: L's opinion? His thoughts on Mello and Near? What advice would he give to Wammy kids if he was completely honest?)

Sorry for this insane amount of questions about your headcanons, feel free to answer all, some, or none of them in art or text. 🙇‍♂️

Thank you!

- obsessed with your vision, T. R.

[English is my second language, sorry for possible mistakes.]

Okay wow, thank you for taking the time to write this all out! :D Sure, have some Wammy's teen L & Watari concept art!

To your questions:

What does his room look like? You mean his room at Wammy’s? Or where he lives as an adult? I’m gonna answer either way. ROOM 217 L was one of the few exceptions at Wammy’s, being an actual orphan and living there permanently, so he got his own room and didn’t have to share it with a roommate. He got a corner room, so two sides with windows. And it was A. MESS. The floor was so severly littered with all kind of shit, there was a shape on the floor where the door scraped the stuff out of the way upon opening. I can imagine he rarely pulled the curtains open and rarely opened the windows, so the air in there was thick af. L’S RESIDENCE I headcanon Watari offered L a secluded mansion or something similar at some countryside in scotland or something. Watari is rich after all and I’m sure he owns property. L set his space up in the attic and doesn’t really uses any of the rest of the house. He has staff that regularly comes to keep the property clean and neat but the staff never met L and doesn’t really know who they’re working for. Maybe the mansion is even urban legend talk in the surrounding area. They saw a creepy figure staring out of the attic windows and the kids try to break in every now and then because everybody thinks it’s unoccupied. Maybe someone from the staff threw a party there once because “pff come on, nobody lives there, it’s an empty house, nobody will know” and L heard activities downstairs. Maybe he crept downstairs and mingled with the guests pretending to be a friend. The residence has a server room, maybe in the cellar.

Do you think he has other interests besides detective work? Oh yeah definitely. I think there are very little things L is not interested in. That’s one of his big perks. He researches virtually anything and can pretty much get into anything. That's why he can easily seem like he’s an expert in any topic because he probably read into it already. He was wondering one night about “how DO helicopters work though…?” and then he spent the next 7 hours watching helicopter videos, reading wikipedia articles about that stuff and a few years later he can get in a helicopter with Light any fly the thing.

What's his sexuality? I’m hesitant about answering this because everybody seems to have strong opinions about it and I don’t want to step on anyones feet. But since you’re asking for my opinion and not everybody elses: L feels straight to me.

Will his lower back ever not hurt? No.

Is he lonely? Absolutely. But he pretends he’s not. He pretends he doesn’t need anybody and permanently finds excuses for how he doesn’t even like people and he chooses to be alone. He fills the loneliness with hyperfixations and productive distractions.

Do you think he's autistic?I headcanon him having aspergers, so yes.

Thanks again for the ask <3

----- My other socials Commission Info Let's drink some Ko-Fi! 🍵

#I know I know Watari looks like a mix between Hayao Miyazaki and Hannibal #death note #fanart #watari #quillsh wammy #wammys house #wammy boys #wammy kids #wammy's house #l #l lawliet #lawliet #ask #my art #dn au 2.0

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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i don't know how to sum this up. i haven't slept in four days.

...this is gonna be a long one and im sorry. also literally every fucking one in this whole thing minus V is autistic, i don't know how, but them's the facts.

background info: around... some 8 years ago maybe, my truly BELOVED friend M (today 31F) started hanging out with a new friend group her then-friend S (31F now) had introduced her to.

(i (31 genderqueer) didn't know M then. i do know she was very lonely.)

so. S has introduced M to her friend group, and M hangs out with them for about... two years?, but, as far as i understand, S is the go-between here. M asks S what plans they have on weekends, S calls M when there's plans on weekends, that sort of thing.

what happens is: at one point S's girlfriend, V, starts flirting with M. heavily. in front of S. S VERY MATURELY decides that the solution to this is obviously to start telling M there's never plans on weekends while telling the friend group M is never free on weekends. shitty move, i think we can all agree.

and M ends up alone. she's never heard from a single one of any of those other people ever again. ever.

now. M, OBVIOUSLY and i think with good enough reason, HATES S.

but.

1) it's not S's fault M is no longer friends with the whole group, like M thinks it is. it's just not. if they had wanted to keep hanging out with her, very simply, they would have. S didn't even explicitly ask or tell them not to hang out with M, nor did she talk shit about M to get them to leave her out. and want to know why we know all this? it's because after (AFTER!) S and V broke up, M and V dated for like, three months, and V told M. what S did was shit and immature, but not like. extreme.

2) we don't know if S even knew how lonely M was/was gonna be. in my understanding of what's right or wrong, this is KIND OF REALLY important. the intention, the meanness, the ability to knowingly isolate someone to that degree. jealousy is one thing, being genuinely mean is another.

3) all of this happened 10 years ago. TEN. YEARS. they were like, 20. fetuses. we're all queer, they were all navigating the first romantic experiences, shit happens. S was shit but S also could have become a better person in these TEN YEARS. we just don't know.

OTHER background info: ive known S for like, 10 years, and she's someone VERY interesting who i've always liked (not romantically), but she's not my friend.

ok, and now. fast forward to last week. M & i & F1 (27F, my bestie, M's friend) go to a pub. S is there, says hi to me, hi to M (which. like at least apologize or something. but ok) (at this point i have no idea they even knew each other btw), S & i talk a bit like we always do, M goes home (i suspect nothing), S & F1 & i hang out, next thing u know F1 and S start to date and S and i become better friends.

(where i absolutely am the A: apparently, at some point M told me what S did to her. before we met S at the pub? after? i have NO memory of any of this.)

M wants nothing to do with S, as is her right. but at this point F1 is dating her and im making plans to like, watch clone wars with her. M tells me & F1 the whole story (tells again, in my case), tells us she has no problems with us hanging out with S but again, please can we not force them together, which, ofc, i tell her about our star wars plans and like, she's chill, she says yeah sure go for it, she jokes around about how S knows lots of people and we gotta use her to get another friend a girlfriend, shit like that.

forward again. one sunday morning, M asks me to hang out. that sunday just so happens to be clone wars day with S & F1. i tell her. she goes BALLISTIC. like, tachycardia, tunnel vision, palpitations, she's fully ready to never talk to me again because "i can't ask [me] to not hang out with S because that would be toxic, but i just CAN'T be around S, so here we go again, she's gonna steal my friend [me] (...i don't think M cares too much about losing F1, they're not that close), im losing control of the situation, the only way for me to stay in control is to choose to cut off [me] right here and now, so that's what ill do, goodbye forever". and she spends the WHOLE DAY in this frenzy (completely unbeknownst to me!), with multiple people trying to calm her down and like, get her to talk to me. (which OF COURSE the next day she ends up doing, because she loves me, she's just. very autistic.) anyway, at this point (sunday evening) ive been made aware of the situation with M, so i had F2 (F31, she's a mutual close friend who was acting as a kinda peacemaker) tell M i was there for her & ready to talk whenever, and we meet up on monday evening, i get apologized to (M had like, blocked me on all social media 😂) for the whole... overreaction, especially after id been told it was ok to see S, and M officially asks me to stop hanging out with S. i try to tell her "can i ask S about, idk, what was going on in her brain back then". she starts to hedgehog up on me so i shut tf up.

here i am the A again: i know M very well. i should have known it would not actually be okay to see S. i just should have. i do know her.

here i... can't tell how much of an A i might be: i don't want to tell S to fuck off. i WANT to talk to S, figure out how much of an actual irredeemable asshole she is, and only in that case tell her to fuck off. the 3 points i made at the start of this papyrus are still valid. also i think it's kind of fair to give her the right to like, defend herself? explain herself? before i go full ghost on her

... its like this. it's not like i care about S. not to be mean but she's no one to me. i just would like her to BE someone to me, cause she seems cool.

i have few friends. i would like one more friend.

i also made friends with a friend of S, T (can't remember age NB). they're the only other genderqueer person i know irl. id like to get to know them. (also they're kind of cute but that's genuinely not that important lol, i just like to make this post Even Longer). i wouldn't get to know T if i did what M wants (needs?) me to.

and let's not forget S is currently dating my close friend F1. just to put icing on the cake.

then again, i adore M. my loyalty to her SHOULD be more important than two people who are, again, no one to me. i should just tell F1, sorry, i won't hang out with ur gf, like ill be civil to her but i won't pursue a friendship with her. because i don't NEED to. i don't NEED these friendships. i would just LIKE them.

if S turns out to BE an asshole who hurt M on purpose, it's great, it's golden. problem solved. ill tell her she's shit and, i mean, F1 will probably break up with her too. no one gained or lost anything from a whole shebang were i haven't slept in like 4 days and got a stress herpes or whatever it's called, it's cool, it happens, go us.

but if S is... justifiable? understandable? NOT a dick? i don't feel i have an actual reason to delete her number. would i, for M? probably, yeah, but i don't WANT to.

F1 says im a doormat. F2 says im basically a monster and how could i do this to M when there's plant of other friendly fish in the sea.

AITA?

and while we're at it, if someone feels like giving advice... what do i do?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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hollyhomburg · 7 months

Text

Before I Leave You (Pt.62)

(Sneak Peek)(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: love becomes guilt, predator becomes prey, and Jin becomes...

Tags: Hospitals, medical talk, seizures, angst, hurt/comfort, assassin! jimin, implied autistic! jimin, meltdowns, Mafia shit, murder, Dead bodies, Guns, violence, blood.

W/c: 10.0k

A/n: I cannot even begin to tell you how much less stressful the next chapter of bily is than my life, like i would rather GET SHOT AGAIN then be where i currently am, with the same level of anxiety that i have.

Previous part ~ Masterlist

Part 62 sneak peek: Two birds, One stone (Two Secrets, One Gun)

The hospital room isn’t big enough for all of you let alone when more staff enters the room along with someone who Namjoon must know, because she instantly starts listing off different medical jargon and refers to him by name.

One moment you’re standing in the doorway and then the next you’re pressed to the wall between Tae, Jimin, and Hobi. Tae opens the door and geastures.

You step out, because it’s surely more important that Namjoon Jin and Yoongi get at Jungkook right now even if your heart clenches painfully at leaving jungkook.

Jimin is still vibrating out of his skin but Tae tugs him in for a hug in the hallway. You don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath until you watch him hug her back. but Jungkook was Tae and Jimin’s packmate first. It’s no wonder that this has shocked them both closer, their fight forgotten.

Or mostly forgotten, You watch as Jimin wraps his arms around her slowly, like he's not sure he's allowed.

Hobi jogs you out of your staring, turning your face towards his and, looking intently. You forget what he’s looking at until his fingers skim your chin and you feel pain. You drag your arm across it and it leave a small rusty trail on the sleve of tae's jacket, just another stain on it.

Oh, you forgot that happened during the blast, you'd almost forgotten.

“Tripped, banged my face on the sidewalk.” it's close enough to the truth that the lie goes unnoticed. Hobi makes a sound, holding your elbow. Squeezing it reassuringly.

“I’m gonna get some snacks from the vending machine, can I get you something?”

“Didn’t eat dinner” you say, staring down at Hobi’s red converse. there are scuffs on the linoleum and a drop of blood someone must have missed. You wonder who it’s from, another person from the emergency room.

“You sure Jin and joon won’t be angry?” Tae is close enough to overhear, and she rubs her cheek across the top of Jimin’s head, scenting him sweet (or trying too.)

“Yeah- junk food isn’t exactly the most nutritious.” you stumble, stepping close, swaying suddenly on your feet. Hobi catches you around the shoulders and for a second, you must look like the mirror image of Tae and Jimin.

Hobi's scent smarts with worry. and he pushes you back, making you sit down. “They can live with it, she deserves a special treat. I’m getting you a bandaid.” Tae looks like she wants to argue with Hobi, then doesn’t.

Hobi gets skittles and peanut eminem’s and two bags of funyunions. the coloful packages are scattered across your laps as he tilts your head to put the Band-Aid on your chin (gotten from a helpful nurse). Fingers that tenderly curve under the wide part of your jaw, drumming there. Tae nibbles on a peach ring. Inside Jungkook's hospital room it isn't quiet, but the four of you are silent with the devastation of this.

Jimin still isn’t speaking much, but when you say you feel nauseous, Hobi gets up and gets you ginger ale too. You know there just isn’t much for him to do, alpha instincts and no omega to cool them but you. Hobi holds your hand, he doesn’t say that Jungkook’s going to be okay. He doesn’t say anything but

“Which are your favorite?”

The back of skittles jingles and he picks out all the green ones, lining up his pants in a orderly little row for you to grab when the ones you suck on go small enough.

You don't realize you're crying until he gets you a tissue, dabbing at your cheek. "There you go, Kookies gonna be fine. He's always fine." His voice goes slower, honeyed.

You rest your cheek on his shoulder, and he lets you. “You got a pair of headphones?” Your breath is shaky, and you think you might be shaking apart right now if it wasn’t for Hobi.

Namjoon stares at the packages a second too long when he exits the door. His hair is pushed up like he’s run his fingers through it, but he doesn’t smell quite as worried as he did before.

he looks at the package and you shrink underneath his disaproving stare.

He all but snaps his fingers, “Tae, would you please go get some real food before they get a sugar high.” Hobi does not flinch at Namjoon’s cross tone, even as Tae shoots to her feet. Hobi doesn’t do anything but put a pink starburst on his tongue, slowly.

Jimin keeps pacing.

Coming Saturday October 28th at 5pm EST (Time Zone Adjustments Below)

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turntechgaykid · 3 months

Text

My Headcanons for the Strawhats: (Monster Trio)

Luffy:

- Low-key has REALLY bad abandonment issues (see him telling Ace he keeps following him into a dangerous forest bc it makes him feel less alone, Sabo's 'death', Saboady, Marineford, etc)

- Autistic

- When he relaxes/sleeps his body will become super slack an his arms an legs will spread out all over

- HATES the cold and his body hurts when it's too cold out (rubber breaks easily when frozen)

- Will drink but is superrrrrrr picky about booze

- Has very green eyes an no one can convince me otherwise

- Love language is Physical touch (He bites people, affectionately)

- (Based on my Headcanons that Luffy is Brazilian and Robin is Peruvian) His first language is Portuguese an if he forgets a word he'll ask Robin to translate

- Favorite color is red (any shade)

- Likes collecting shiny rocks/pretty sea shells

- Is the most emotionally intelligent person on the crew an has really good observation skills but takes most things at face value/doesn't question them bc he can't understand why someone wouldn't want to show/say exactly what they mean

- If he cries or gets embarrassed enough to blush he'll cover his face with his hat

- Likes when Nami/anyone paints his nails but can never sit still long enough to get them done nicely

- Ambidextrous

- Knows a lot about bugs and can rattle off facts about them for hours

- Really really good at guessing games to the point everyone thinks he's cheating somehow

- Has stretch marks alllll over

- Eats so much bc his stomach stretches no matter how much he eats so he never really feels 'full'

- Has HATED Garp ever since he did nothing to help during Marineford

Zoro:

- Has dimples but he's insecure so he tries hiding them

- Everyone thinks he has green eyes but I think he has brown eyes

- His love language is Acts of service

- Extremely touch starved (if someone plays with his hair he is passing out IMMEDIATELY)

- Secretly loves that (other then Robin) Chopper always goes to him first for everything

- Really loves forests, if they land on an island with one he's most likely heading there first

- Unofficial Official first mate of the strawhats

- When it comes to keeping the crew safe he trusts Robin & Sanji the most (other then the Captain ofc) because he knows they won't hesitate to kill someone they're fighting

- Nami is like a sister to him

- Is actually REALLY good at math an confused tf out the crew when they found out (is now in charge of keeping track of the amount of necessities on the ship or how much they need for a certain amount of time)

- Will forget how long he's been going when training an won't realize til someone stops him

- Gets worried/nervous anytime he watches someone walking down stairs

- Knows a shit ton of knife/sword tricks (can absolutely swallow a sword)

- Doesn't like showers bc he hates water on his face

- Is willing to follow Luffy's orders without question (Post time skip, Pre time skip -specifically before thriller bark- Zoro would still question Luffy)

- One of the few Straw hats that hasn't dated anyone (Sanji had some flings w/ regulars at Baratie, Usopp w/ Kaya, Nami had a few flings here an there, Franky had been with a few people back on water 7 and Brook had been with a few people back when he was alive)

- His favorite color is Sage green/Gold

- Taught Chopper some sword fighting techniques (Brook also joined in an taught Chopper some of his moves)

- Loves taking naps with Chopper (Chopper is low-key his favorite person on the crew)

- He an Robin have little competitions to one up eachother with gifts or things for Chopper bc they both wanna be his favorite >:)

Sanji:

- Loves the ocean/thinks it's the most beautiful part of nature ever

- Either is a Queer Cis guy OR a Queer Trans woman<3

- Ace was absolutely his gay awakening but he thought it was a 'fluke' til he stayed on the momorio island and accepted himself

- Sees it as a HUGE compliment when anyone on the crew gains weight bc it reaffirms he's doing his job well :)

- Loves loves loves all animals and won't let anyone hurt them (including rodents/other "gross" animals)

- Has insectophobia/arachnophobia and OCD

- HATES having anything covering to much of his face/head bc of the mask Judge had him in

- Pulls on his hair when frustrated/angry/overwhelmed/etc.

- French is his first language

- Knows how to figure skate, do ballet and learned gymnastics

- His love language is Words of affirmation

- Writes letters to Zeff at least once a week (after the events at WCI he started addressing Zeff as Dad in his letters)

- Is secretly writing his own cookbook

- Has anisocoria, effects his right eye (anisocoria can easily be confused with heterochromia. It gives the appearance of two different eye colors, but the variation only relates to pupil size — which can cause one eye to look darker than the other — not the actual eye color.)

- Sanji an Usopp are actually really close (both their moms passed bc of sickness both had shit dads plus soba mask + sogeking friendship is superior)

- Sees Zoro as a brother (their dynamic is like the eldest brothers who try to compete over everything)

- Sees Robin as a mother figure but low-key feels guilty about it

- Told Nami everything about his past after WCI and they're really close now

- Sees Luffy a bit as an obnoxious younger brother

- When it gets really hot he'll let Chopper sit inside/in front of the freezer for a little bit

#one piece #monkey d luffy #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #straw hat pirates #monster trio #acesan #only a little though

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cy-cyborg · 3 months

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Earlier today I saw a video from Council of geeks on Youtube talking about how frequently and potentially overused swearing is in adult animation. It’s a great video, but I wanted to add my 2c to the conversation real quick.

I grew up in rural Australia in an area that is primarily inhabited by bogans, and if there’s one thing rural bogans know, it’s casual swearing. Australia as a whole uses the word “cunt” in almost the same way we say “mate” - in some circles “cunt” is seen as the friendlier option, and bogans take that even further. constant, frequent swearing was such a normalised part of speech when I was a kid that it was normal for our teachers in high school (which starts in years 6 or 7 depending on the state, and goes all the way to year 12) to swear at us. Not aggressively mind you, they just used the words casually, and the kids would swear at them back. It wasn’t usually an issue, even when they were trying to be an asshole.

Despite this, even I find a lot of adult animation’s use of swear words a bit jarring at times, and I think Council of Geeks put the feeling i’d had about it into words very well: it’s the way a lot of these shows draw attention to it, even when it’s supposedly normalised.

The people back home can hardly get through a sentence without swearing at least once. at least. I use the word “fuck’n…” the same way other people use “umm…” and I know someone who named their dogs “sick cunt” (or “cunty” for short) and my own dad named one of my childhood dogs “fugly” (short for fucking ugly - that was his legal name my dad put on his adoption paperwork from the shelter). when these words are used so often, they do loose their impact, and you can tell they have by the way we all use them around there. If you’re going to use that same kind of frequent “bad” language in your work, you need to acknowledge it too. that’s where a lot of shows who try to emulate this way of speaking fall over.

As funny as it is to say, Spongbob was right when it called the obvious stand-ins for swear words “sentence enhancers” - that is usually the goal of words like “fuck” and “shit” when not used in the context of their literal definitions: to put emphasis on what’s being said. You could say “This traffic is SO slow!” or you could say “Fuck! This traffic is SO fucking slow!”. You could say “are you kidding me?” or you could say “Are you shitting me?” - in both these cases, the addition of the swear words emphasises the rest of the sentence and the emotion behind it.

But when you are swearing every other word, they stop working that way. “this traffic is so fucking slow” is a lot less impactful when that’s the 5th time you’ve said some variation of “fucking” that conversation. So when people back home swear, it’s just a filler word. there is no emphasis, there’s not heightened emotion, nothing. It’s a normal, standard part of speech that is so common and normalised, it sounds weird to people back home when you don’t use it. I’d go so far as to say it get’s the same kind of reaction from people back home as if you were speaking with flat affect (I’m saying this as an autistic person who took a while to warm up to swearing like that, with autistic friends who spoke with very little tone or expression).

phrases like “ah get fucked cunt” are an honestly very casual and friendly phrase (no, I’m not exaggerating) said the same tone you might use to say “nah I don’t feel like [whatever the topic of conversation was]”. honestly I tried to give some more examples, but it’s extremely difficult to demonstrate over text. Australia has a pretty big film and TV industry though, so if you want some examples of what I mean, watch some Aussie TV (look for anything with an MA or R rating, anything under that and they will likely limit the use of “foul language”) especially anything set in small towns or the bush or find rural aussie creators online.

My point is, If you want to have swearing and cursing as a part of your regular vocabulary in your setting, you need to treat it like it’s actually normalised like any other word. If you wouldn’t put emphasis on words like “house” or “dog” or “car” then don’t put that emphasis on words like “fuck” and “shit” lol.

#writing #writeblr #writing dialogue #writing advice #swearing

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butlerbarbs · 9 months

Text

some solomon headcanons because I'm bored and I love this man so much

general solomon headcanons are mixed with solomon/mc stuff so enjoy

warnings: slight cussing, talking about alcohol, sfw, grammar mistakes, gender neutral mc/reader, you/yours pronouns used

he is a lactose intolerant. does he give a shit tho? not at all. honestly he tends to forget about it

his hands are cold most of the time

he always makes sure to give you a forehead kiss. as a good morning or goodbye mostly

he's autistic

blushes at sudden affection. like check and forehead kisses. caressing his hand with ur thumb. drawing circles on his skin. good morning/good night texts. reminders to eat/drink. or just tell him you like his name

yea we all know solomon cannot bring himself to look you in the eyes when he's flustered (surprise guest shows it really well). but if you want to fluster him more just force him to look at you. he'll become even more of a blushing mess

he laughs at the most dumb shit. especially at animals and little kids

when he's telling a joke he will laugh like 10 secs after saying it

tries to play it cool and pretend alcohol haven't affected him but he gets drunk easily. he's the type to either start talking about whatever comes to his mind or fall asleep and wake up sober

while we're talking about sleeping, he snores a little

his bones crack ALL the time. sometimes when the both of you are bored you are trying to find out who can crack most bones. or the strangest ones. and yea before meeting him you didn't know that cracking your ribs is even possible

he's ambidextrous

he dislikes reality shows or dating game shows like hotel paradise and love island. he just doesn't really get what's so fun about them

always asks for consent before initiating anything. like kissing, hugging or even holding hands. he wants you to always feel comfortable around him

he has so many freckles but they're only visible after he was exposed to sun

(basing on the recent vamp event) he would totally bite you as a sign of affection

has claustrophobia and needs at least one lamp on in the room

loves when you call him "sol" because it sounds like soul

he is a little old fashioned when it comes to relationships

he's the type to stop midway cooking and dance with you

feels the most loved when he's laying on your chest with your arms around him

he would call you all the pet names possible (unless you tell him you don't like a specific one)

but he likes calling you "darling" or "my love" the most

(except for "my adorable apprentice" ofc)

shows you off at any possible occasion, especially if the brothers are watching

he would pick up the weirdest things you said and would go along with it to the point where everyone else would be like what the fuck

loves spending time with you even if it's just sitting together in one room doing completely different things

rambles A LOT about spells, curses and books he's read

it's pretty much canon but he rambles about YOU to others. like how amazing and powerful you are or how progress you did as a sorcerer

his eyes sparkle when he's excited but he would be VERY embarrassed if you tell him that

even tho he acts really confident and smug he is pretty insecure at the beginning of your relationship

like yes, he knows that you love him and he's so happy that you chose him, he really does, but solomon has an annoying voice in his head telling him you deserve someone better than him

once he overcomes it tho, he would annoy the shit out of others. like he would keep reminding them that he is dating you, you choose him and you're all his (and he's all yours)

but he would cry if you proposed to him. and on your wedding day. tho he would try to keep himself composed in front of the others

tbh everything he wants is an established domestic

#solomon brainrot got me really strong ngl #and im here for it #but im running out of solomon stuff #so im desperate now #and like #i want to kiss him so bad #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #solomon x mc #solomon x reader #solomon x you #obey me hc

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sailorkamino · 1 year

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Hi! Could you write some headcannons for tbb x body insecure or plus sized reader?

body insecurities [bad batch]

relationships: gn!reader x bad batch

warnings: weight insecurities, echo has body dysmorphia, diet culture, an older sibling being a parental figure, autistic tech struggling w/ emotions, past body shaming

a/n: i love writing for tech but i struggle with his dialogue, if you're a bad batch writer pls send me some tips to making him sound in character <3

crosshair

• great at reading body language so he can tell when you need comfort even if you don't verbalize it

• he might seem annoyed but that's just his rbf, if he didn't care he wouldn't ask

• the type to be angry when he's worried

• it's eaiser to threaten you then admit he cares

• he'll say stuff like "take a risk like that again and i'll shoot you" or "drink some water dumb ass, i'm not your baby sitter"

• his first reaction is to fight the problem

• "did someone tell you that shit?"

• once he realizes he doesn't need to commit murder he's not leaving you along until you talk

• cross is the best listener and i will die on this hill

• he can seem dismissive of your insecurities but he does care, he just thinks you're wrong lmao

• brutally honest so any praise from him means a lot

echo

• the most empathetic boyfriend part 1

• def has suffered from body dysmorphia so he understands

• but also baffled cuz you're perfect to him

• he's very serious about your mental health so he wants to his a conversation about this

• the most genleman to ever gentleman, he will shower you in love!!

• lots of cuddling and sweet words

• hope you don't have any plans cuz you're not allowed to leave his arms until you feel better

• if you want to eat better that's great! but none of these unhealthy diets you see on the holonet

• no he'll research the best diet/exercise plan for you personally to make sure you're safe <3

• you've helped so much with his confidence he's determined to return the favor

hunter

• instantly knows when something's bothering you

• as the oldest he was forced into a parental role at a young age so he has a lot of expierence with comforting

• will give you a worried dad look until you tell him what's wrong

• he might get a little pushy if you aren't opening up

• he doesn't mean to but worrying about his loved ones is like his default setting

• [protective mode activated] did someone say something? cross will probably help get rid of a body if he asks-

• blames himself for your doubt

• secretly reads/watches romance stories so he'll probably drop some cheesy lines from them

• shows your tummy lots of love, like using it as a pillow while you stroke his hair or sneaking a hand under your top, lulled by your breaths

• cuddles with skin to skin contact are very intimate to hunter cuz of his higtened senses so this is very special privilege

• if it'll give you confidence he offers to work out with you, using the holonet he tries to find 'fun' exercises you can both enjoy (yoga, zumba, etc.)

tech

• he'll get frustrated because he doesn't understand your pov

• he's told you that you're attractive and healthy, why are you still upset?

• hunter has always told him "you can't make others see things the way you do" and it's infuriating for him

• tech is a fixer so he feels helpless when he can't just fix your insecurities

• he'll encourage you to talk to one of his more emotionally intelligent brothers which you take as rejection

• when your eyes fill with tears he panics even more

• "perhaps i should get hunter-" "i don't want your brothers, i want you tech"

• he's quiet for a moment before awkwardly opening his arms, "physical touch causes the brain to release oxytocin, a bonding hormone that strengthens social bonds in mammals. would you like a hug?"

• he's always found you attractive but never voiced it, now he makes sure to tell you every time

• get ready for blunt but 100% genuine compliments like "your chest is distracting in that shirt"

wrecker

• the most empathetic boyfriend part 2

• king of emotional intelligence

• will pick you up and hold you like you're a doll, laughs if you call yourself 'heavy'

• everyone is kind of small to wrecker (even his brothers) so to him you're practically a baby tooka

• but still he takes your feelings seriously

• cadet wrecker was definitely body shamed by regs so he knows how it feels

• showers you with affection 24/7 so it's hard to feel insecure around this guy

• will fight anyone who makes you feel bad >:(

• like hunter, he also offers to work out with you (not just cuz he loves showing off-)

• loves active games, like just dance or wii sports

• is up for any activity has long as you're involved tbh

#the bad batch #clone wars #bad batch #the bad batch x reader #bad batch x reader #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #tbb echo #tbb echo x reader #tbb hunter x reader #tbb hunter #tbb tech x reader #tbb tech #tbb wrecker x reader #tbb wrecker #sergeant hunter x reader

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n30nwrites · 3 months

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I also like the other anon's idea of reader turning into something bigger and scarier than the boys. Them trying to be protective at first only to find out that reader actually doesn't need their protection at all haha.

Also I LOVE how you made a reader that is like no-nonsense and don't give a fck personality. First there are two guys staring him down from across the street and then one of them comes over and starts acting weird and fishing for personal information, and reader is absolutely not afraid to let them know that they're all acting weird AF.

He's kinda blunt and doesn't put on an act for the sake of "politeness" and I love that. Most of the readers I see in fics are portrayed as extremely shy/timid and extremely submissive guys that stutter 3 times on every word and turn bright red whenever anyone talks to them, like no, I don't act like that. That's just embarrassing 😒.

Alright it seems people are wanting a bigger wolf creature. Now I have an idea but the reveal won’t be till after the poll is closed :)

But with the way things are going I think people are gonna like it.

But the reveal would be everything??? Reader revealing to the boys that they knew everything and were stronger is just so ?!

I like the bluntness. Idk if anyone else does this game but me and my sibling play video games together/watch movies and we’ll just point at someone and go smash or pass cause it’s just something fun??? Anyways smash on all tf141-

But yeah I just don’t want to mess around the bush. I’m not gonna make reader some 5’2 bottom bitch cause wtf, tired of some scared shit like let me be me.

Also I’m autistic so that could be it but whatever.

Also I don’t like the norms of society that deems being polite to people in situations. If you’re an ass you should be treated like an ass.

On that note, tip your servers

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phantomsghoulette · 11 months

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Kingdom of Heaven STORY IDEA

This post goes out to all the Kingdom of Heaven fans that write ffs, especially about our King - Baldwin IV

Now this idea may not be historically correct but I still need someone to make a story out of it. I'm talking A LONG ASS story with many chapters because I'm somehow a hopeless romantic when it comes to Baldwin.

So here's the story:

(Please use Y/N for Tiberias' daughter and not some name)

We start off long before Baldwin was born, when Tiberias and his wife arrive in the Kingdom of Heaven. Later on they have a daughter together, around the same time Baldwin was born. Tiberias already has a close relationship with the royal family at this time because of his wise knight shit. At some point Tiberias' wife dies and he has to raise their daughter on his own and he starts taking her to the palace where her and young Baldwin would often play together and develope a friendship. At some point Baldwin's illness is discovered. The priests and higher ranked people try to find a wife for him asap in order to keep the bloodline but every woman kindly rejects, scared of the illness so they just accept Baldwin's lonely fate. His illness is slowly taking over his body and Tiberia's daughter decides to take care of him, not being scared of him no matter how disfigured he looks. But when Baldwin notices that he's slowly developing feelings for her and that his face looks more and more sinister and his limbs are slowly becoming useless, he becomes kinda distant because he's scared to confess his feelings.

Remember that scene in the movie when Baldwin asks Balian to marry Sybilla? That's when he confesses his feelings. So let's imagine Tiberias' daughter is there too and when the men are done talking Baldwin sends off Balian and Tiberias but wants Y/N to stay. "No, Y/N. Not you. I need to talk to you. Stay... please." Or something like that. And we all know that Baldwin knew that Jerusalem was doomed because of his sister and that's why his confession goes something like:

"You know there is one more thing I could have done to save Jerusalem and its people... and I'm now regretting that I haven't done this."

Y/N: "And that would be?"

Baldwin: "Making you my wife"

And then he goes on with his cheesy romantic medieval confession. And Y/N confesses too bla bla bla and she then even takes off his mask and kisses him on the corner of his lips (one side of his mouth wasn't that damaged, remember?).

On his death day she takes care of his wounds one last time.

Make their last conversation HEARTWRENCHING. I WANNA CRY.

After his death Y/N seeks comfort in her father. Make it a wholesome daughter - father relationship (idk how to do that because I never had a father lmaoooo)

How the story ends is for you to decide. Maybe Y/N goes to Cyprus with Tiberias because she cannot take it to watch the Kingdom fall that Baldwin created and led with so much love and respect for the people.

You can also add some suggestive themes. For example Baldwin dreaming about getting intimate with Y/N because he's just that touch-deprived.

So yeah if anyone would be willing to take on this idea - you're more than welcome to do so and I'd DEFINITELY read it. I personally am not good at writing GOOD stories because English isn't my first language and I would ruin the story by using "basic" English. And since Kingdom of Heaven takes place during medieval times you need to write such stories in "fancy" English.

Anyways. I had to get this off my semi-autistic mind or else I would have gone CRAZY.

I just hope this post reaches the right people🙏

#kingdom of heaven #king baldwin iv #King Baldwin x reader #Tiberias #balian of ibelin #baldwin iv #King Baldwin IV x reader

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babiebom · 2 months

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Stardew Bachelor/ette’s as Mean Girls (2024) characters

A/N: i recently watched the new mean girls musical movie and it wasn’t as bad as people were saying it was. Like the singing and the songs were good, the cast fit their characters(except for Aaron’s actor sorry I feel like they could’ve gotten someone hotter but I do understand where Cady was coming from like he’s cute enough that if you’re in high school and in the same class as him at least one person would have a crush on him.) so like I do with everything I consume let’s stardew-ify it!!

Tw:mentions of bullying, cursing, sex, drugs, lmk if there’s something I missed!!

Bc: at least 4 for each

Stardew Valley Masterlist

Shane

Principal Duvall

Is tired of this shit

And teenage girls lowkey frighten him

Would yell and get everyone’s attention in the hallway bc I think he has the lungs

Would leave it to Leah to take over the assembly lmao

“Tell everyone you’re not a drug pusher PLEASE”

Elliott

Damian

While Elliott and Abigail aren’t really friends

He has the flamboyancy I feel to fit this character

Also it’s canon that all characters are bi so it’s okay for him to be in this role

Would probably have all the tea and would be as dramatic as Damian

“She doesn’t even go here?????”

He just seems bestie type

Alex

Aaron Samuels(is that his last name?)

I think this is as obvious as who Regina is.

I don’t think he’s as smart as Aaron is, BUT is popular enough to make Haley want to have some claim over him.

And is cute enough that new girls will immediately have a crush on him

Would actually be crushed if he got cheated on

Harvey

Kevin

The guy on the mathlete team or whatever it was called

Mostly because he’s smart and I do think he would’ve been in some nerdy ass club as a kid

Also at high school college point I do think he would’ve gone through a slightly edgy phase of being a nerd that talks about getting bitches all the time

Would want Maru on the team

Leah

Ms.Norbury

Because I think it’s funny

Like out of all of them Leah would be the one to be called a drug pusher

Like I personally think she smokes weed or eats like weed salads or something

And personally I think she’s above all of the drama of mean girls

Would gather everyone and be like WTF is wrong with y’all we are better than this.

Emily

Karen

Now don’t get me wrong Emily isn’t as dumb as Karen at all

BUT they both have this daydream-y airheadedness about them

And I don’t mean airhead as in stupid either, just more….in outer space than other people if you know what I mean

Like always in their own head

Don’t care about what others think to an extent

If you think about it she fits kinda

Somehow finds herself in the drama even though she’s just been daydreaming this entire time

Maru

Cady Herron

Listen I don’t think Maru would have the balls to do what Cady did

But they both are insanely smart and I can see Maru falling in love with any boy in her class that gives her attention

Would tell someone they aren’t as smart as they thought they were while drunk

She is in calculust yall

Penny

Gretchen Wieners

In the movie Gretchen is very insecure and just wants to be the best friend she can be even if it’s by helping Regina bully others

And at some point turns on Regina because she’s had enough

And is quiet enough to be overlooked as the pretty friend of the popular one

Meek and accepting like Gretchen is

Literally just wants to fit in

Abigail

Janis

I went between her and Leah for this but I think Abigail fits this role more

I think it’s more about style Janis always has a punk rock look about her and Abigail is emo/goth/punk

And while she isn’t autistic I think she is more likely to be called a pyro-Les than Leah is.

Abigail is just the right amount of unhinged to be Janis

Haley

Regina George

Come on this was the most obvious thing about this list

Like actually blonde, gives off bully vibes

Would take over a school and is probably rich.

Would be an absolute bitch and be mean to people then throw a fit when it turns around on her.

Tell me who “world burn” and “introducing the plastics” fits more. I’ll wait.

Unfortunately there aren’t enough characters so Seb and Sam don’t get anyone to themselves but I think both have the energy to fit both Aaron and Damian. Like both are total cuties that anyone would have a crush on even though seb is intimidating and introverted. And both I feel like would have the sass and bestie vibes of Damian so both could be both oof

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