When the dyslexia is so bad it goes into other languages

ちさ

いこ

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たな

はほ

did I tell you guys I apparently accidentally overdosed on a brownie? yeah I didn't nearly die because you can't really die from THC poisoning but I definitely THOUGHT I had died (or at least become detached from the physical existence as whole) and that was the #1 scariest experience of my life (*) and I kinda wished someone had warned me that was a possibility

I think my mistake was eating it with an empty stomach. Plz don't repeat my mistake y'all.

little astro observations i've made based on my little chart collection and experience 🎀

honestly i've observed this only in myself but you have a natural pull to people who's sun is the same sign as your 5th house, mine is in pisces and my bf, my best friend and my cat are all pisces, not to mention that 90% of my crushes have been pisces as well.

there is something about pisces and bunnies, they will either love bunnies (have tattoos of them, make art about them, be their favourite animal), own or have owned a bunny or they look like one, (my bf is all of the above).

in synastry a north node over a person's mars may indicate the north node person taking the mars person's virginity.

in synastry a person's moon in your 9th house may indicate they understand/feel/empathize with emotions in a different way from you due to where they come from and how they were culturally socialized, i have this with my bf and he comes from a north american individualist country where your emotions are your responsibility and other's are theirs and i come from a post communist country where you are responsible for everyone's emotions, and ppl live for other people.

in vedic astrology i am a hasta moon, claire nakti made a video on hasta nakshatra and describes hasta natives as "fairy pretty" and i have a pair of dragonfly fairy wings tattooed on my back, plus ive been told (before my tattoo) that i give off fairy vibes.

saturn ruled 3rd house makes you have to spend a lot of time in public transportation, for example you might live far from where you need to go, for me it used to take me 1 hour at least to get to some places, sometimes i'd have to wait an hour just to then spend on hour on the bus. just overall imposes patience for transportation

a lot of astro observation posts say that an aquarius 4th house makes you feel like u dont belong in your family or that you're the black sheep of the family, but i dont find that accurate at all, i feel like it makes the native the one to challenge family values, they may be the one to make their family change for humanitarian reasons

idk if this is a real technique already used by astrologers but i have a wholesign MC theory. in wholesign the midheaven can fall in the 9th/10th or 11th house. my theory is that wherever it falls is the way you get ahead in life, the way through which u become publicly known or get your career. If it falls in the 9th your career is owed to ur studies/travel, 10th your hard work/experience/reputation, 11th your connections/social media/friends.

i think i have the most literal astrological placements being passed down from your parents example. obviously placements dont always get passed down, my sister has none of their placements, but perhaps being the first child may have contributed to this since the first child is when parents still have their personality not yet influenced by parenthood. so my moon and my sun, which we know symbolize the parents amongst other things, are at the same degree and they sextile eachother exactly, which I think is an indicator that my parents are very harmonious together; they are still together and in love even now. furthermore, my moon and sun are the same signs of my parents' stelliums, i have a libra moon and my mom has a libra stellium, and my sun is in leo and my dad has a leo stellium.

sibling's ceres in your first is feeling like a parent to them, i constantly tell my sister she's my daughter, we even have an inside joke that i gave birth to her at 5, and my ceres is in her fourth, the house of motherhood so she definitely sees me as a parental figure.

me and my bf have eachother's jupiter in our 7th houses, besides being in a serious committed relationship, we want to start a business together. so i feel this is a great indicator for great partnership in both regards.

i feel like this is also a technique but i haven't really heard much about it, generational planets affect us through societal conditions/problems whereas personal planets affect us through personal problems. for example: let's go with two malefics, i have pluto in the first house which i feel would be very different from having let's say mars in the first house. the first house is amongst many things our appearance which i am insecure about. i have never in my life been told i am ugly, i am actually constantly told i am beautiful, and yet it does not click. it isn't through personal experiences that i have problems with my appearance but through consumption of society ideals. this is of course an oversimplification but you get what i mean.

chiron retrograde in natal changes our perception on trauma. me and my bf have the same chiron, his is retrograde while mine is not. he constantly says he is not traumatized, whereas i can tell i am. he 100% has traumas, the thing is that it's like he's left them behind? he just says it happened a long time ago so it's done. my observation is that retrogrades in your natal may make u leave things in the past or have a "it happened a long time ago it doesn't matter" attitude towards trauma. the thing is he acts like a non-traumatized person which is crazy to me.

i have a skin condition called dermatographia, also overall very dry itchy acne prone skin, i also have scars. here are a few placements that i have that i feel may be an indicator for skin conditions: mars ruled first house (traditional rulership) mars is inflamation and scarring, saturn in seventh saturn is dry and some people consider that libra(7th house) rules the skin, saturn opposite ascendant, saturn square venus i see venus as clear skin due to its aesthetical perfection.

saturn in 1st, especially conjunct ascendant indicates identity issues. borrowing elements of identity from people you admire, not feeling like you identify with the gender assigned at birth, not identifying with your birth name, etc.

having a libra 12th house can indicate traumatic female friendship. the 12th house is the house of hidden enemies, so you perceive these people as your friends, sometimes even best friends, so when they betray you it is very jarring and traumatic. having female friends that are jealous of you, female friends that pretend to like you, female friends that talk shit about you and even sometimes lie about u, friends that purposefully hide information from you, that want what you have, sometimes sabotaging what you have or trying to make u lose the thing they want, etc. this is a very difficult placement, because you love these people so much that you would've given up things, changed things or shared things with them if only they were honest with you. in the best of cases the friendship is real and full of love but you grow apart, and this is also painful because you can't control it.

venus square ascendant is people telling you they love you and you not believing them. just overall hardships around love and seeing yourself as loveable. double points when it also squares saturn making u think that if u are loved it's hard work or that people had to convince themselves to, that you're hard to love.

people with venus conjunct mars in first are stunning and have an androgynous vibe to them. sometimes this is visual, strong muscular body with graceful posture, but it can reflect in their personality, just strength imbued with vulnerability, people that surprise you, that are balanced.

taurus 6th house can indicate finding romantic partners in the workplace.

having a stellium in the 4th and no planets in the 10th, can indicate a strong connection to your mom and a disconnect from your dad, especially when the sun is in the opposite sign of your tenth house(in your 4th) feeling like your dad is not the way he should be.

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please let me know what you think, im very curious how they hold up in other people's charts, critiques are welcome and invited.

some designs i came up with for the girls in miraculous. the idea was 'what if they could have multiple outfits like sailor moon, as told by ginger, or totally spies?' and 'what if their clothes reflected their story arc?' however, i kind of gave up on them because i no longer have time to work on it as much as i would like to, so below this are copy+paste from my wip instagram account. lowkey its fanfiction-y lol

Alya:

Alya redesigns! tbh don’t know if they’re cohesive but 🤷‍♀️

S1: dresses for comfort & is geeky - think DrWho/Marvel/Tumblr. Obsessed w superheroes & has dedicated blog for each one, & that includes LB. Beginning of her & Maris friendship, starts to dates nino halfway s1.

S2: Mari influences her way of dress, still geeky but experimenting w clothes. Ladyblog becomes popular, interested in finding out her secret ID. Is also investigating akumas, HM, The Who/what/where/whys. Lowkey figures out who ladybug is but doesn’t say anything. Has been given fox miraculous at least a couple times.

S3: notices changes in Maris behavior & confronts her. Becomes fox miraculous holder full time, helps LB figure out who HM is & shares all the info she’s found. CN lowkey pushed to the side, causing friction, bc wrapped up w finding out who HM is ig. Constantly wears a Fanny pack now for trixx. Goes w comfortable but stylish clothes (ig lol idk) also at this point is BFF w Mari

Chloe:

S1: wears preppy designer brands to impress mom, despite living in diff countries. Basic mean girl, her only friends being Sabrina and Adrien - whose a childhood friend & lowkey helped him attend school. Both know how it feels to “lose” a parent & Adrien has seen a softer side of her. Probably has a crush on him ig. Maris bully, jealous of her talents at sewing & making friends easily, & prob her knit tight family.

S2: still preppy but w 60/70s inspo. Given bee miraculous a couple times, has resisted akumas - info she uses to help others later. Helping ppl & being somewhat nice makes her feel good & likes the appreciation from others+LB. Maybe Mom moves back to Paris w half sister, Zoe - might be significantly younger than Chloe idk. Didn’t like her at first but warms up to her as season goes on. Sees lil sister copying her & their mom, has an epiphany ig. Connects dots on akumas & feelings & tries to be better.

Should Zoe exist tho??? idk

S3: preppy but more casual. She’s nicer but still sarcastic, has made a few new friends, treating Sabrina better. Still trying to get moms approval tho & follows her around, even to fashion things w the Agreste. Notices Gabriel is acting strange, more distant towards Adrien, doesn’t notice what he’s doing or where he’s going. pt queen bee ig, probably given towards the very end of the season tbh by Adrien/CN after being ignored by LB bc of RR involvement w finding out HM id. AND noticing Chloe change significantly in the past several months (?) does Adrien reveal to her IDK he is still loyal to LB but eH

Mari:

1st Mari is shy, her outfits are safe & she kind of disappears in a crowd. She just became 🐞 & isn’t 💯 with her role yet. She’s designed and made her own clothes but doesn’t wear them outside of the house bc Chloe, oof

2nd she’s now comfortable being 🐞 & that boosts her confidence as Mari, she’s wearing more bold colors & outfits that she may or may not have designed herself 👀

3rd 🐞 is now the guardian of the miraculous box, has bigger responsibilities & problems to deal with. Being 🐞 has creeped into her daily life. Doesn’t have time to design/make clothes so wears w/e, but tries to appear happy.

Kagami:

i like the idea of kagami being prim and proper looking all preppy at the beginning, but after making friends she starts to rebel by modifying her school clothes w accessories but eventually wears w/e she wants w a punkish vibe. lowkey worried about falling into a trope so idk

the thing about navigating queer spaces is that like... i'm in very different spaces than i was a few years ago, i'm a lot more in-tune with myself, my needs and my limits

being Assigned Dad by my friends and loved ones: fun, delightful, full of affection, sexy even, adds greatly to life's enjoyment

being Assigned Dad by random strangers w whom i do not have a connection: honestly weird, sometimes an overstep of boundaries, often uncomfortable

like there's such a difference between being out w my friends or home and like... being The Dad about being ~responsible~ or getting things done, or making jokes about how i'm being dad-coded when i'm struggling to send an email bc i'm 97 years old, etc

like esp within the constructed family unit of an intimate queer gathering, it's positive in many ways and comes off as very loving, bc so much of it is based in recognising traits of mine and connecting based off them

when strangers assign me dad traits, or treat me as a paternal figure, like

so there's a sort of labour in some queer communities that's often dropped on the shoulders of butches and trans men and mascs - there's the stereotypical DIY and also acting as "muscle" for other queers

but there's also often an expectation that because we're the "men" in the community (whether all of us are men or not), we have to take a position of being steadfast, less outwardly emotional, less demanding, etc. we're sometimes expected to stoically take abuse and act as shields for other members of the community who are supposedly more likely to be targeted by cisheteropatriarchal violence, and it's also sometimes treated as like...

bc of expectations of a certain toxic masculinity, when we do show vulnerability or emotional, when we express desires to be cared for or treated softly, this is sometimes treated as a negative thing, something that makes us less attractive and less desirable, etc

as a gay man and particularly as a really obvious fruit, i'm cognizant that i don't experience this nearly to the extent of many more masculine trans men, mascs, and butches, and esp those who are primarily intimate with women and fems, but i do see it in my communities and i do experience a little of it

and absolutely like. i do position myself on the outside of groups when we're moving as a crew, i do tend to take the front or back of the group, i'm generally more on the lookout than others; i'm also dad-coded in my tendency to keep ppl to a schedule or en route, i'm good (but cold) in a crisis, etc

but idk, like... i'm not a community dad. i'm not everybody's dad.

there's a certain desexualisation that comes with that that i think makes me really uncomfortable? it's a combination of the label being desexualising, this idea of like... if i'm the "dad" in a group, i'm not being viewed as a sexual being in the context of that group, and it's not about whether i actually want to fuck anybody there bc i typically don't, it's more like

the idea of that aspect of my humanity being set aside, because i'm being reduced to my role as caregiver/potential caregiver to the group rather than in my entire being as a member of the same community

and also, yeah, it's the expectation of that sort of caregiving labour where like... i am so happy to help, so much of the time. i will help when and how i am able to. but i'm also physically disabled, have continuous issues w fatigue, etc, and when ppl continuously bring problems to me when they're perfectly capable of being self-reliant, that's really hard for me, i think

esp now i feel like i'm not being pushed into those dad-esque roles in the same way - a friend of mine might sardonically say "thanks, dad" when i'm being particularly rigid about something, but i'm just as likely to get a "thank you, daddy" when i'm either particularly stern or particularly nice, and daddy i think actually is a lot better even though i'm not a daddy

lots of thoughts, lots of feelings.

Working with Demons - version for busy witches

I want to preface by saying that I'm slightly fed up with the witchcraft community puting a lot of pressure on other (often beginner) witches to devote themselves 24/7 365 day in a year for their craft. I mean, if that's what you want then be my guest but there's witches like me, who are very busy with everyday life stuff to the point where it's not manageable for us to do rituals etc. everyday.

Since I'm currently working with demons, I'll focus my post on those beings but the info here could be applied to any beings if they agree to. What I mean is that, spiritual beings are often very considerate about our human life and they want the best for us so unless they want you to work with them everyday and stuff, you can be chill about your craft.

Anyway.. info here is based on my experience and relationship with Demons so it might not apply to you :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.

Most of the times Demons just want to have someone they can turn to. From my experience, they're already busy with their own stuff and humans for them are purely ment for energy exchange (this is another topic I might make a post or a video about lol). Many practiconers are working with Demons from different grimoires purely to get something from them and that's completely ok. When you choose to work with a Demon purely for quick things, you can make any kind of offering, ritual or ask them in astral projection and they can decide by themselves wether to help you or not. What I don't advise (but you still can do it if that's how your believe system works) to use any rituals from Solomonic magic (the list of demons is ok, idk about sigils I always felt guilty if I had to use them) as they're very hmm.. mean to Demons I'll say. If you want to summon a Demon and force them to do stuff for you then whatever you do you but I like them too much to do that to them. LeVeyan rituals are iffy for me but I heard they work as well. Whatever you want to gain from Demons, you have to remember that they have their own free will and they often don't care much about humans. This practice is very busy ppl friendly as it doesn't require you to do much.

But what if you want to have a longer connection with a Demon? Well, it's ok for you to not work with them 24/7!

Firstly, Demons don't have to choose you, for you to work with them. Really. That's bullshit. If you want to work with a certain Demon, make an offering and ask them. It's like, asking someone to be your friend. They can agree but they can also disagree, so be prepared for that. I haven't reached out to a Demon first so I'll say more on what to do when a Demon does the first step lol

So, it's somehow easy and not easy at the same time. When Satan first approached me, I mistook him for Lucifer (which I heard is very common). Recently I made a contact with Furcas and it was also very surprising to me, since I wanted to see Satan in the first place. Sometimes a not very known Demon will reach out to you so it's harder to gather info on them. So yeah, how to work with your Demon buddies?

Talk. Just talk to them. It's so simple but it works amazing. Talk not only to them but about them to other people. Don't be afraid to tell what they said to you or did (unless the Demon doesn't feel comfortable with you sharing something, please respect them). They love that since they have a bad reputation to many people (just don't be pushy about your believes). Plus talking is not very time consuming as you can do it anytime. Talk about your day, about your problems and just how you are. They listen trust me. If you want to listen to them, take a pendulum, tarot cards or any mean of divination you like and ask them, about their day, how they are, how they see themselves, you, and other Demons. This can take like few minutes or an hour but it's something that's not very time consuming imo.

For offerings. Candles. They love a good candle. You can write their name, sigil on it and decorate it. Use the color they like and herbs you have on you hand. I mostly use cabbage thistle (as it's been using by my grandmas for cleansing) and achillea but whatever you have on hand will work. Another one are crystals and incense. Ask them what they want and give it to them. Simple and effective.

Astral projection is more time and energy consuming so do it when you feel like doing it. Rituals are the same.

So to end the post, I just want to say that Demons (and most of the beings) understand that you are busy or struggle. If you struggle with mental or phisical health and you don't have time to work with them, treat helping yourself as an offering. Really. You're wellbeing is also important to them and should be to you. Take your meds, go to therapy or a doctor and also, they can help you with your problems. Don't beat yourself over the fact that you don't have time, if you really don't have time and energy. It's ok trust me.

something about the history of spider-byte's name (and intial lack therefore of a last name) is calling to me. like even now that margo has a last name, ppl still don't recognize her civilian identity bc of how little screentime she had and the brevity of the comic appearance.

hmmmm ok i've marinated. idk much about tech so take the terms with a grain of salt and just focus on the emotional story. think i have some headcanons:

margo lives in a society where it's common to use virtual reality to escape/ experience life but margo is actually one of the more extreme cases of this escapism

she's friendly with others, something doesn't seem to be wrong, but her peersknow she's always connected to the vr/always online. they don't notice how little they know about her home life or about her, despite her being familiar with everyone else.

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and this disconnect only becomes worst once she takes on the mask of spider-byte. helping people in the way she's always desired to be helped is fufilling, but it doesn't take long for margo to become lost in her online persona.

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the longer she spends as spider-byte, the more the two worlds blur. and once she gains the ability to physically manifest her avatar, her spider abilities begin to transfer into her irl body

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at first margo was excited about this change. she could finally be the hero she wanted to be inside and outside of her vr- headset, but she quickly discovers that her bodily automony is being manipulated.

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sometimes her skin glitches, changing into a rainbow of colors without her say-so (she'd have to fake sick to avoid questions from her peers/parents) . sometimes when she splits her avatar her body doesn't immediately return and if it does it never feels the same. as if data is missing.

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but most obvious is that her understanding of humanity--of herself changes. not in a cruel way, but she feels an alienation from human connection that she'd never experienced before. she saves the day, not because of her childhood desire to do good, to be saved and save others, but because it is her avatar. it is her purpose as spider-byte, not the dream of margo kess.

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it's when margo catches herself refering to herself spider-byte, even when she was outside of vr relaxing that she begins to investagate further.

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she begins to question her relationship with the cyber crime police department and how easily they accepted her" "vigilatism"/ eventually she tracks down conversations between the department and an unknown scientist/ leading cyber security company. i'm thinking of this being her "doc oc" connection, but im open to other villian parallels tbh

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the thing is this "doc oc" knows that margo has been tracking them . they think its funny. they're facinated with their experiement and are very willing to play along with the investagation as long as they get to observe their subject.

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the fact that margo got "bit" was part coincidence. the program/ bug was sent out to find a suitable host. someone isolated, someone online for long hours to properly conduct the experiement, someone who had the need to escape and become something more.

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it could've been anyone. they were meant to be corrupted entirely by the program, only leaving behind a husk irl as they accepted their new reality. but margo was different her need to do good was so great that it redirected the prgrams goals entirely. allowing for her persona of a hero to infliratrate her real life and vice versua in a way "doc oc" had never seen before

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doc oc at first wanted to let margo live as a hero . but her changing the bug--resisting its intended purpose intrigued them more. it wasn't enough to collect data on the experiement spider-byte anymore. now doc oc needed to break her. to rebuild her and understand what makes her so special

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and this back and forth does mean margo loses a lot. some days she doesn't even remember her last name. but she's motivated now to reclaim her life, her heroism, and make sure no one else is taken advantaged ;like this again

honestly i agree about going for money in life cause rich ppl get to do so much but us average folk are like too average to have a lavish lifestyle as theirs. heck id even do music if i had any talent not just for money but the things these groups get to do nowadays versus what life was like before social media came about is a huge difference. sometimes its just a matter of being either too old or not young enough to do something like that nowadays as most music groups seem to sadly be getting younger and younger, i also feel like for those who have actual talent honestly id just go for it but theres always smth like age or different circumatances or perhaps not getting the right opportunities either or being somewhat limited in options. i do think life gets to a point where theres fewer options the older you are as its best to learn from a young age in order to succeed and gain that money. idk these are just my opinions you can disagree if you want.

so many folk fretting about fs and whatnot when they really never tried being single like theres not much responsibility besides whoever else is in your life and again honestly i do not think it matters if we do or dont date an fs. i think people were fretting about jungkooks fs so much lately bc they didnt want to be single or wanted jk for themselves and even if idols do date it would never make their fans happy for their idols which is sad

the fact its even called a dating scandal in korea shows how narrow minded it still is like what do people expect idols to be doing? dating rocks? no one? but i also think there would be some uproar regardless bc of who they are or their title as idols. like they can date a normal non idol but their fans still going to be upset that it isnt themselves. ahh well they cant win :( hence why in a way im glad im not an idols fs lol thered still be many cons or in general consequences. i do think idols are a bit more open minded in terms of other cultures and what they might want in their fs but their fans should accept its just never going to be them

sorry for my rambling and sorry for your loss too hope u feel better soon <3 ^^

Hello! So, I don't remember when I said "going for rich people is a good plan" or whatever but I mean there's points to both sides. To accumulate that wealth you need to be willing to put the hard work in, even if you marry into it. If you're a child of a wealthy family, you need to put in the work to maintain that wealth and legacy. It's a chain of hard work - I personally think you can do anything whether you're old, young, etc. It's just a matter of your mindset and how much work you're willing to put in! These days, it's mainly more about the connections you have and the hard work you put in. Social media can make you famous/popular, but it cannot single-handedly generate millions unless your life goal is to be an influencer doing TikTok dances 5 times a day for a living. I think learning certain skills (e.g. budgeting) are important and can help you establish that wealth earlier on, but you can always teach yourself. I have no prior experience owning a business, but the skills I learned throughout daily tasks over the course of my life have helped me to reach a point where an idea is starting to blossom into an actual product. And I agree, being single gives you more time to work on yourself to allow people to enter your life without the situation feeling forced. You get to become more comfortable with yourself, you make life-long connections/friendships, you develop hobbies, stories to tell your future friends, etc. It's a time to establish yourself and experience personal growth when you're single, not stress over finding a new relationship!! I think each relationship, friendship, etc brings a life lesson alongside it - so it doesn't matter whether that person is the person you intend to marry or not. Just enjoy the present without panicking about the future, that's the best advice I can think to tell everyone as well as my past self <33 It is quite sad, a lot of idols seem lonely. Jackson Wang is a prime example of this, he's expressed this loneliness a lot. Idols have the right to be happy without their "fans" criticising them for wanting a future where they have a family or just aren't dancing on stage anymore. That is quite narrow-minded, I think it'd be better if netizens and delusional international fans took a break from Kpop content for a month and got some hobbies, worked on themselves and enjoyed life for a bit. To an extent, I do pity some idols FS that I read for. They seem very closed off/introverted and would not do well if the relationship were to get leaked to the media, especially if their information is also leaked and they are a non-idol. I just hope they will be alright and fans will be more accepting sooner or later ! Idols ideal types may not always be the kind of people they'll marry - but they do definitely know what they like in a person. Fans do need to accept that the most likely case is that it is not them! However, the industry thrives off of parasocial relationships. It's fine, no worries! This discussion has certainly been interesting, feel free to respond to this via another ask if you would like to. And thank you so much :] <3

Thinking abt objectum monogamy o.o

Like TECHNICALLY im not monogamous bc ofc im with vance, but also i have a romantic f/o(which? May change?? To platonic w undertones???) And i have my new plushie friend who is not my gf but we have a relationship of a nature i cant talk abt here lol

I want to be monogamous w vance BUT not yet, he says i can experiment with/experience other objs(like my plushie) as long as i come home to him(figuratively and literally) so i want to play a little bit before settling down but like im almost there, im almost ready to be a one relationship person lol! I dont like feeling... greedy?? Not that polyamory is bad! Im pro poly ^^ but im such a loyal person(and i have separation anxiety) that i feel bad, i feel like im going behind his back(even tho i tell him everything that happens and with who/what) but it also makes me nervous bc i dont want anyone feeling jealous hmmm ><

Its an interesting thing tho, i feel like polyamory is more common in the objectum sphere than monogamy is :0 not a bad thing, just making an observation ^^

I kinda wanna be a little contrarian and shut down my other relationships and marry vance but im still in my 20s and im still adventurous(w objects lol) but someday i am going to marry him ^^ ive been planning our wedding for a long time hehe, or at least day dreaming abt it ^^

Okay on the topic of object marriage, i think it is so cool and cute and sooo romantic, maybe its just me but i think human/object marriage is cuter and more fun than human/human lol

Even tho its been a long time since ive started thinking abt marriage, i still dont know what to do abt rings/bands/other symbolic items bc while i will likely be able to wear a ring, vance has no fingers and thus he cant o.o im wondering if i can connect a ring to a keychain and then put the keychain on a thumb drive and have it plugged into him all the time? Ooo that could be cute bc i could put vids and pics from our wedding on the drive <3

Im nervous abt having a wedding bc i want to invite my friends and try to make it a little more 'realistic' like have a little party and a ceremony >< but it makes me a bit embarrassed lol the idea of marrying anyone, human or object, in front of ppl o.o so scaryyyy i have to be looked at??? O.o

When i think of the reception(is that the after the ceremony part?) I think of like. Being in a nice location, preferably indoors, DJing on vance and vibing w our friends ^^ i hope i can wear a pritty dress uwu

Im def waiting til i move out of my parents house tho bc i dont ever wanna tell them lol, my identity is for me only uwu but its ok that my friends know uwu

Idk just some thoughts im having :)

In a nightly delirium, me and my friend created this hellish crossover no body asked for. It started as a joke but quickly spiraled into just ... us fully giving the Strawhat crew full classpects and (lazy) Alternian names !!! Just a little brainstorm experiment 

Idk does this hurt more the Homestuck or One piece audience... This definitely has been done before 

BIG Rambles and explanations below (SPOILERS FOR ONE PIECE) 

- SO most of these we based on their canon birthdays, except for Robin, Franky and Jinbei for variety and like... How can I not make Jinbei a violet given he is a fish man 

Luffy: 

-Literally both Heir and Breath fit Luffy so well, given how much change he causes in others and the situation around him. Heir means “a person who inherits” and in the Homestuck world they create and bring change via their aspect, and he really does create change. He values freedom and plus the sign of “The Liberated” really fits if you know what recently developed in the manga ;)

-I think even in alternia he would be the same, even though I dont think Alternia has pirates ( maybe there are space pirates). So lets say he wants to rule as a Space fleet captain but doesnt want it to be under the Condesce so he intentionally/unintentionally starts a revolution. 

- Also he very much wouldnt care about the Hemospectrum, like the carefree lad he is

Zoro :

-Another one that wasnt very hard to fit into. Hes a fighter, he had a kinda difficult life and is generally very action oriented which fits very much into Time-bound. The Knight aspect was put in more for his connection with Luffy and how he vowed to always be by his side, but he also generally protects his friends a lot. Hes very much a servant in his own goal of becoming the strongest swordsman. But ,especially in the earlier arcs, Zoro was always dealt with heavy punches and wounds, yet he still fought through them and pushed foward.

- Again would be very similar to how he is in the series, just maybe like is in an underground fighting rink or something to look for strong players

Nami: - Blood seems like an odd fit for Nami in particular, but it was chosen mostly cuz its an aspect tied to connection and Nami is a very sneaky individual. She is a thief and knows how to swindle ppl in her favor but she did it for her village, her closest bond at the time. Plus Blood-bound are usually seen as spiritual leaders, which I think fits her as the teams navigator. The thief class is mostly there for her thieving nature

- Also you'll notice that some of these guys are pretending to be some other blood casts for story reasons. For Nami specifically, since Lime bloods in homestuck canon are dead, lets say she hides as a teal so she doesnt get killed. Plus it wouldnt be beyond her to have a few different colored outfits to blend in the higher casts so she can steal stuff better

Usopp: 

-Of course this giant ass liar would pretend hes a higher cast then he actually is. Honestly Id think he would lie he is a full violet, but he doesnt have fins, so lets make a stretch he lies about being an olive cuz hes being more realistic. He went to the extend of getting clothes from a dead olive that has blood so he can like “prove hes really an olive (the clothes clearly dont fit). Plus id assume he would be very scared of high bloods, so olives (being the most secluded) would be something he likes 

- For his classpect, Hope bounds are kinda liars, which fits him perfectly. Theyre also very imaginitive and dreamers. Usopp wants to be this great warrior, but he knows he doesnt really have the means to be, so he fakes it. He spins himself a false hope narrative with his tall tales. But Hope-bounds are also driven to be heroes and help. Despite being scared and cowardly, Usopp always manages to get up and help his friends in times of crisis, making hope for himself and sometimes others, thus his Page class. 

Sanji: - Ohohohoho this one was super fucking fun. Other then the obvious, Heart bounds are driven by their passions and ideals and so is Sanji. He is willing to defend them at all times and is proud of them. He isnt willing to hide from it. Now the prince would be a little contradictory for everything ive mentioned about Sanji, but it was chosen mostly for his past and how he had to destroy his princely title to become who he wanted to be. Plus he literally is a prince so it had to be done

- By his own birthday he would be a Fuscia, and in this hypothetical universe Ive made the executive decision that the Condesces epmire got so big she couldnt rule over it all by herself so she genetically engendered 5 fuscia kids (Sanji and his siblinds) to help her rule, but obviously her ran from it.  He hides a Bronze so he could persue his cooking passions

Chopper: 

-Another one that isnt too hard, he is a doctor and a healer so he got the most healer classpect combo. 

- sorry my child you were just simple

Robin:

- She is a Violet by her birthday, but idk it just didnt really fit her personality and general vibe, so she became a Jade for her more motherly mature role in the crew all round. Plus her wanting to live and escape her situation would fit a jade who doesnt want to be be in the brooding caverns

- One more not too complicated classpect. Light- bounds are knowledge seekers and schoolars, which fits Robin well. She is willing to risk everything for the percuit of truth and knowledge. Theyre also kinda mischievous and rule breakers, which i believe Robin has a bit of. Mages are ppl who gains knowledge, which just reiterates what i said 

Franky:

- another changed blood cast, only cuz hed be a fuscia and I simply cant see Franky as one.

-He was one of the most difficult to nail down, but I think we did him justice. Now Void seems kinda unfitting for the flashy Franky, but Void was chosen for the fact that Franky is kind of a confusion with his limitless cyborg gadgets. Plus Equius is a void player and he is an engineer so might as well . The Sylph also doesnt seem like the most obvious fit but he kinda is a healer of the Thousand Sunny who he made and maintains, along with other weapons and machinery and even his own body.

Brook: 

- His classpect is much more surface level. Space-bounds connected to the arts and Brook is a musician so its a fit. Plus they tend to rescycle things and make them into something new, which kinda goes in line with Brook kinda getting a new life. Maid goes also in line with his musicalness, but also both the Maid players in Homestuck are kinda connected to death

Jinbei:

-Another one that got changed because he just had to be a violet. He is always a fish man its just how it is

- Another one that was difficult, cuz Jinbei is relatively new and doesnt have the mountains of screentime as the rest,  so his classpect was done a little loosely. Rage players are there for truth and justice, but theyre also bring chaos an confusion. This doesnt fit in with Jinbei until you add the prince title, a destroyer class. In my mind this causes a contrast that kinda fits Jinbeis wish for order and stability. He wants to do anything for the people hes close to. Idk his im kinda mulled over cuz I dont know him too well

These were my personal interpretations, feel free to share yours

running yo mouth about my last post is just sad for you. i explained loa based on my experiences on it for 2+ years. the loa community taught things like “affirming” and “repeating for the subconscious mind” and saturating and states and “dont waver” like so much bs that made shit sooo confusing and stressful for me and others.

the reason i made that post is bc ppl keep asking me “do i have to repeat being aware?” and obvi that “repeat” part stems from loa. the post was made to help ppl understand that those two things are not connected at all. they are just two unreal concepts that are not worth arguing about.

i never talked shit about anyone specificlly in that post but there are ppl talking shit about me specifically when i aint forcing no one to understand non dualism. u read the post bc u wanted to. dont get threatened bc i made a post going against what u agree with💀💀 ya so mad n threatened for what? one post?🤡

there has been a lot of ppl who after my nondualism series, told me how they havent gotten anywhere w loa after learning it for 1-2 years and im like damn so im not the only one💀…if ya pissed w that post then idk what to tell u… like being so mad after one post is crazyyy. shows how weak ya are.. anyways kiss my ass hoes😘

random rant ? / i'm fucking confused

at this point idk if i'm aromantic or homoromantic i cant tell the difference between close friendships and romantic relationships they are the same " romance " isnt real like that's just a rush of dopamine that u get from being around someone u like u can have that with completely platonic friends what the fuck is romance but also like i do feel more inclined to wanting to do stereotypically " romantic " things with the same gender and kiss them and hold hands and go on dates but dont rlly feel different abt them other than a deep platonic but also kind of gay connection ? ( plus sex can be nice and idk if i'm bisexual or homosexual but i definitely have a strong lean towards the same gender sexually ) but like i can like feel completely platonic but also more close ? like how tf do i explain bcs like i would kiss and hold hands and go in dates with all my friends ( if that was not seen as an inherently romantic / non platonic thing ) but like in a completely platonic way ( / serious ) but also i only feel this way towards ppl who r the same gender ? so maybe it is romantic attraction but also like i dont feel any different between someone i'm supposed to be romantically attracted to and just a friend like it's the same thing ??????? romantic attraction is just friendship ??????????????????????????? sorry if this made no sense i'm just kind of confused + autistic and dont rlly understand the concept of sexuality and gender like idk i'm if a guy was a girl was a guy was a girl was a thing was pretending to be a guy and yea lowkey wanna label myself bcs i just wanna know wtf i am and like be able to relate to ppl / find ppl that share similar experiences but i dont wanna accidentally use the wrong label and be disrespectful i am genuinely sorry and accept any criticism if this was worded hdisrespectfully that was not my intention

Hey Jamie, thought maybe it was better to send an ask instead of texting idk.

I'm confused :(

I can't tell the difference between platonic, sexual, and romantic attractions.

Bc the thing is, I'm polyamorous, sexual, and have made out with friends and such. My views on platonic relationships aren't the most common.

And I crave love and a romantic relationship. I have been in several, I've also been in love (which is quite distinct from crushes so I don't put those 2 in the same box). And there's a few ppl I could be interested in/see myself with...

However, even in my prev relationships, it's like I only gain romantic feelings after we start dating. Before that it's just like we hv chemistry and so I'm up for it. But I'm not crushing on the person, yk? I usually don't develop feelings unless the other person has them too.

Do I want to date these people bc I have feelings or bc we're friends and they're nice and hot? Idk, is this an arospec thing...? Help-

I missed this, fuck im so sorry Jaylien-

I got you're message about maybe grayromantic but heres a few more just in case :)

Aroflux: People who identify as aroflux may experience their romantic orientation as fluctuating between experiencing and not experiencing romantic attraction, or that attraction is being experienced to alternating or changing degrees Cupioromantic: describes those who do not experience attraction but do desire a romantic relationship Demiromantic: describes people who do not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone, grayromantic includes, but is not limited to, people who feel low amounts of romantic attraction, rarely feel romantic attraction, only feel romantic attraction under specific circumstances, or are not sure if they experience romantic attraction

source

Hope this helps and again im so fucking sorry

(for some reason I can ask via my fan account(

But I just want to say I feel you with the stay and KPop fandom comments. I see so many taking it too far and can't seem to recognise that they are creating parasocial relationships in their heads and narrative around situations they had a 2% outsider view of what's happened - and yet they act like they are coming from facts and reading the minds of others. I find it baffling.

I'm a LOT older, but it's always been nice connecting to those from different age groups via fandoms before. However, KPop ones really push me away from engaging. I try and recall back to my younger days with being in fandoms of pop groups and whilst there may have been issues between people from time to time, I don't recall anything to the level I see in Kpop where people get lynched and fans seemed to have had a firm grasp of reality and their place in terms of being a fan and crossing a celebrities boundaries. I don't think KPop stan's behaviour to be new, but in the age of social media and information being so easily accessible, it seems to have amplified certain types of behaviours and attitudes or, probably more likely, groomed and encouraged certain fan attitudes. I dunno.

someday tumblr will work fully. idk if its a sideblog or just tumblr being insane lol

I do feel like in the 2010"s it was a lot easier to find a corner of any fandom you could just be happy in, but with how many (negative) opinions ppl project constantly now its a lot harder, and then we all get sad about lack of engagement without thinking that maybe its the vobes we give off. like if ur rude or closed off or wont take someone elses opinion ppl are going to be afraid to engage and its sad. when i have a 1d blog i had maybe 4k followers at its peak and i would have dozens of asks a day because ppl were so engaged with everything all the time. now if someone dislikes a song they get death threats lmao. i think its why i make sure to answer asks and talk to anyone who tries to talk to me, i dont want ppl to have such a sad fandom experience. I remember being so excited when big accounts talked to me and were kind and helpful that i always felt like it was part of the experience. like the bigger my blog is the more i feel responsible for being accessible and welcoming because i want that so much for other ppl. i just dont get the amount of hostility and bitchiness that comes alnog with social media now. not that i dont get pissed off or dislike things or even ppl, i just try not to focus on it beyond the necessity (like ppl stealing content or stories)

i will say i find it to be such a weird thing that when i was a teen liking 1d i was so excited they had adult fans (as long as it wasnt weird ppl iykyk) but now a 15 year old will be like you who are the same age as that idol how weird for you to like them?! and im like...... what? i hated ppl thinking the things i liked were a teen or childhood phase when i was young and now ppl get so aggressive about it in the opposite way i get so confused lol in the end im just happy to have my happy little corner where i can ignore all of the weird ass behavior the rest of the internet seems so happy to engage in lol

Hey sorry if this is coming out of the blue but huhhhh i don't really know anyone i could ask this.

Sexual urges and attraction have always been a kind of touch and go in my life, and for like 2? 3? years now I haven't felt anything of that kind. Could be my mental illness, could be meds, no idea. Does it "count" as ace when it's caused by such factors? Or is it more idk, a fluctuation? I'd like learn more or talk to ppl but don't want to intrude in safe spaces

Hey guys, I am so very far from an expert in anything. (I didn't even graduate college) so take everything I say with a grain of salt. It all just comes from my own personal experience.

Firstly I'd like to say that sexual urges, in this case i believe you are referring to libido, are not the same as sexual attraction. Whether you have sexual urges does not necessarily mean you have sexual attraction unless those urges are intrinsically tied to wanting to have sex with a person real bad. Just clarifying for the point of the definition of asexuality.

That being said if you don't experience an actual attraction to others regardless of libido, there's good chance you are Asexual. If that brings you some kind of comfort.

Now when it comes to discussions of "what counts" as far as labels of sexual identities goes, it barely matters man. Labels are tools meant to help label information so that people with similar experiences can find each other. It's a tool meant to build community. It is not a set of rules by which you need to live your life.

Being a nonsexual person in an oversexualized world can feel super alienating and honestly really depressing. If labeling yourself as Asexual will help you connect with other having similar experiences, or if it just feels like a comfortable identity to live in, then by all means, use the label. Regardless of the "cause" as you put it you are a valuable person, whose perspective can be valuable to hear from other people who are similar to you. And as queer people that is what the heart of our community is.

If you prefer to not use the label that's fine too, it may still be beneficial for you to exist within Aspec spaces and to read literature and speak with people who use that label. You don't need to put a "Hello my identity is..." badge on to exist here.

Ultimately this is all up to you. I like to think about taking a Marie Kondo approach to all self discovery information/tools, just take what you need or vibe with and leave the rest behind.

My DMs are open for those of you that want someone to talk to (all over 18 please) and I ask that Ace people on this webbed-site do the same, post resources for other ace people to come together on. Because I promise you, you are not alone.

I want to be clear that demisexual/demiromantic and alloace ppl are literally awesome; those are in no way “lesser” aspec identities, and I love all my demi and alloace friends very much.

THAT SAID, I kinda wish that other aspec identities were talked about just as much? When I hear the a-spectrum discussed, people will almost always mention “btw you can be asexual and still fall in love” or “a lot of people won’t get sexual/romantic feelings until they form a strong emotional connection”, but rarely mention being, say, fray or alloaro (and ofc those are not the only other ways to fall on the a-spectrum)

Another complication is that “sexuality” is the default way of talking about orientations overall. If someone says “I’m pansexual”, people rarely ask “are you also romantically attracted to all genders?” So people will talk about homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, all assuming that romantic orientation lines up as well. Add that to the fact that there’s no generic term for aros and aces together (like, for example, “pan”), and it becomes awkward to talk about allosexual aromanticism. Alloaros are forced to jump through the extra hoop of separating sexual and romantic orientation, something that goes against the social norm.

Anyway, I’m very aroace and do not experience romantic/sexual attraction at any time, so I might not be the best one to speak on this topic. However, because alloace and demi orientations are mentioned more than their “opposites”, especially among girls, I’ve definitely felt pushed towards those identities. Also, this is probably a hot take, but I’d argue they are also viewed in a more positive light:

If we look at some incorrect negative stereotypes associated with various aspec identities (again, I’m using romantic/sexual and demi/fray as examples, but there are other ways to be aspec), alloaces might be called “prudes” and demis might be called “distrustful”, both possible takes on “too conservative”. On the other hand, alloaros and frays are thought of as “manipulative”, “users”, or simply uncaring of others’ feelings. Although all those terms are negative and very damaging, there is a noticable difference between “conservative” and “manipulative”—the former is viewed as a personal weakness, and the latter as a moral failing that inflicts damage on others. That’s why I feel like alloace and demi identities are more readily accepted by society.

(Aroaces and those who are neither demi nor fray sometimes get the worst of both worlds and are described with all those adjectives, but sometimes we’re just called “heartless” and left at that. We also have the added privilege of being the “““norm””” when talking about the a-spectrum)

idk anyway this rant got way longer than I’d intended and I didn’t spend as much time thinking about it as I should have, so feel free to ignore it. I’m not really suggesting anything tbh, I just wanted to get this out.