#i. still don't know what would actually happen because i really don't know anything about five nights at freddy's
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still on this, THE THING IS the bones of this aren't even actually that bad.
bruce has done something horrendous, something objectively heinous, to his child, and to his child who has already suffered so egregiously in such a short lifespan (until they start letting dick grayson be a man in his thirties jason cannot be older than early twenties, like, college age early twenties, at max he's only barely legally allowed to drink). and he has the perfect out he could use if he wanted to deflect responsibility, it was zur, it wasn't really him, so he cannot really be faulted for what he's done. but he doesn't take it, he chooses the hard path but the right path, and takes responsibility. he acknowledges that even if he wasn't in his right mind, it was still him, a version of him anyway, that did something really, really bad to someone he's sworn to love and protect and who did not deserve anything like that. bruce taking the ownership for his shitty decisions rather than trying to find the loophole, that's good. and it can even work with jason attempting to brush it off, like i mentioned before, jason is canonically a forgiving person who does not prioritize himself, and will continuously turn the other cheek to those who hurt him if they happen to be people he loves. i can absolutely see jason trying to give bruce that out (though not with that fucking therapy speak bullshit, jason todd has never been to therapy because people with healthy coping mechanisms don't create the fucking red hood plan at the big age of sixteen).
the thing is, the thing that could have made this good but didn't because instead they decided to continue making this story shitty from start to finish, is that bruce can't take it. it's good that bruce is owning what happened and bearing the responsibility and referring to it as "what i did to you" rather than passing it off in a bid to get jason to move on. and it can work that jason would try to go "it's fine it wasn't really you" about it. but you lose any good when bruce agrees with him and just goes "yeah you're right. anyway!" what's the point of bruce taking responsibility for a horrific deed in a symbol of growth (and we know it's supposed to be about growth because he prefaces it with talking about how his kids are his family and he needs to acknowledge that to them and let them know what they mean to him) if it's immediately smoothed over? it's utterly meaningless, he might as well have just told jason that he can't be blamed and jason could have just nodded and agreed. the bones were there but then ya fucked it, it literally doesn't mean anything at all. it's the narrative equivalent of going "i have a lit stick of dynamite" only for someone to immediately pour water on it. it has no impact now and it loses any catharsis for the readers, let alone deflating that emotional beat in narrative and making everything just seem stupid. even if jason attempts forgiveness, it doesn't work if bruce accepts it. he needed to say that even if jason is trying to absolve him, he still did it, he still needs to own up to it, jason is still entitled to whatever feelings about it, and he still needs to fix it along with actively working for a redemption and acknowledging his responsibility in that regard. not just go "yeah you're right it's in the past hakuna matata never gonna blame myself for my own shortcomings ever again" and promptly move on to more bullshit.
and like, you're nerfing your own ability to write good stories in the future! for one, it's good if bruce grows from this whole debacle, and does consistently put effort for future issues into not just reminding himself he needs to acknowledge his family, but that he can't take the easy way out and he needs to own up to things even when they were done when he wasn't totally himself. for two, you could have a story where bruce doesn't just have to atone, he has to actually fix his mistake. jason's got this chip in him, bruce has acknowledged that this is something HE did and needs to take responsibility for, have him be the one to fix it! have him be the one to try and find a solution, a way to undo it or nerf it or get it out. have him work to fix this issue that he caused, have him be the one to attempt to mend it and do right by someone he did wrong.
not to mention, it can work from a narrative perspective. batman is a detective, have the search for a cure/fix/whatever be a detective story. false leads, dead ends, red herrings, clues that need to be uncovered, new twists and turns. and for another thing, it works to have bruce try to right a wrong he did to jason specifically. bruce's big failure, in his mind, his greatest unforgivable sin, is that he did not save jason. that jason needed his help and bruce failed him, bruce wasn't there. so it makes sense that, when given the opportunity to make up for that in a way, to be there when he's needed, to help him when he needs it, to essentially make it in time in a way he couldn't on the day jason died, of course he'd throw himself into it with 110%. of course he'd decide that, this time, he won't fail. jason is hurting and in need of help because of him but this time it won't end in the worst way imaginable. this time, bruce is gonna fix it. it would make for great storytelling, and good character moments for bruce AS a character.
but i never get the things i want so instead i got some decent legs to build on that were immediately hacked out from under me in the same fucking panel and the chip thing is likely gonna be solved off-page without any real introspection into bruce doing this really horrible thing to jason or growing from his fuckups or growing in his relationship with jason or jason dealing with this and the two of them actually putting in some work to come back together strong than ever and build a new, better baseline as bruce accepts accountability and jason offers forgiveness once it's earned, for once in his life. and this entire plotline will literally never be brought up again except to explain why tim has a clone-damian suit that looks ugly as shit.
#personal#dc comics#batman#jason todd#bruce wayne#ok NOW i'm done now i swear i'm done i'm done now#gonna go rewatch the episodes of MAWS with cunty slade wilson#to remind myself where my current allegiances lie#(ie with cunty slade wilson from MAWS because it's beautiful and it makes me feel better)#(which lord knows i need after this)
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𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐄 | J.JK
— pairing | fem!oc x tattoo artist!jjk
— summary | jungkook’s still closing up after a long day of work. she went to his shop right after work and she was drained. luckily jungkook was just the right one to cheer her up
— warning | bad writing (i’m doing my best)
unprotected sex, cursing, praising, just sex lol
— word count | 1.3k words
— song suggestion | put it on me — austin mahone
Jungkook had been working at the shop all day. All sorts of clients going in and out of his shop.
His employees had already gone home a while ago. He was still closing up for the night.
He was exhausted and drained. He just wanted to see his girl, though she had never left his mind through his shift.
The clock had just struck 12pm and JK’s Ink Lounge had finally closed up for the night. It was late, and she was barely getting off work around the same time as well.
He hadn’t seen her since last night because of their busy schedules.
She was a nurse and would work insane hours at the clinic. The two hadn’t had a work break in quite some time.
A knock was heard on the locked door of the shop. “We’re closed!” Jungkook called out before looking at the door, realizing it was actually his girlfriend, not a customer.
“Oh shit.” He cursed to himself, getting out and unlocking the door for her.
Jungkook's face lights up when he sees her enter his shop.
“Sorry baby. I forgot my key.” She apologized, pecking her boyfriend’s lips.
“It’s okay beautiful. What made you come here? Aren’t you tired? I thought you were at home.” He asked her, a hint of concern in his voice.
“Wanted to see my boo.” She hummed. “Never get to really see you anymore.”
He exhaled, “Yeah I know.”
“I got dropped tonight so I thought my lovely boyfriend would pick us up dinner on the way home.” She fluttered her lashes cutely.
“Anything for my baby.”
“I’ll help you close. Just do your online stuff and I’ll clean.” Y/n walked to the front desk, setting her purse down.
“No no baby.” Jungkook stopped her. “You gotta be tired Y/n. I don’t want to do that to you.”
“It’s not that bad baby.” She chuckled, grabbing some cleaning products to properly prep the studio. “I want to help you.”
Y/n could almost run the studio on her own. She knew everything and was more than willing to help her man out.
“You’re so amazing.” He kissed her cheek. “I’ll hurry.”
“No rush.” She shook her head, getting straight to cleaning.
The two worked on the closing duties, making sure every part of the studio was ready for tomorrow.
“How was work today baby?”
“It was okay.” Y/n shrugged. “I’m so drained.” She complained, taking a seat on his lap.
Jungkook immediately notices her drained expression, and his face falls. He pulls her into a tight hug, rubbing her back soothingly. "What happened, mama?"
“Short staffed again so I was kinda irritated.” She sighed.
He sighs softly, understanding her fatigue all too well. "You know I'm here for you, mama. Always."
His thumb gently strokes the side of her face, trying to ease her stress. "Why don't you let me take care of you for once?"
“Mm no. It’s my job to take care of you.” She protested.
He chuckles softly, shaking his head at her stubbornness. "That's my job, mama. You're too tired to argue, and I can tell you need some pampering."
“You’re so hard working baby. You’re better than me because you can take so much.” He hummed. “Sorry about your day baby.”
His thumb gently traces the outline her lips, before gently kissing them. "Let me take care of you tonight.
“Please.” She gave in, “I need it.”
"You're too beautiful to say no to." He carries her to a guest futon and sits down with her, his arm around her waist as he kisses her once again.
He groans softly, kissing her deeper and harder as his hands begin to roam her body.
"You know what I'm thinking about, pretty?" He whispers into her ear, his lips brushing against it. "I can't wait much longer. I was fucking trying to wait until we got home but— shit I can’t.”
“So fucking pretty” He whispered.
He begins to undress her, kissing every exposed inch of skin.
“Been wanting this for so long.” She spoke, “We never have time anymore.”
He groans as he hears that, his hands cupping her ass as he her you closer to him.
"Fuck I know pretty. I've wanted it just as bad you have no idea.” He lifts her up and positions himself before lowering her onto him.
“Haven’t seen you in so long.” She mumbled. “Haven’t touched you in forever.”
He nods in agreement as he thrusts up in her. "I know, baby. I've missed this too." His hands roam her body, touching every inch of it as he whispers sweet things to her.
"I love you, mama. You're so fucking beautiful." He croaked out.
His hands travel down her body and between her legs, rubbing her in just the right spot as he watches her with lust-filled eyes.
“Mm” She hummed.
Jungkook’s eyes darken at her soft moans as he leans in closer. "Do you want me to fuck you now, baby?"
He whispers hotly in your ear before nipping at her earlobe. "Because I want to fuck you so fucking bad right now. Just say the word.”
“Jungkook please. Want this so bad.” She whimpered
He growls at her whines, pulling out of her before flipping her over and pushing back into her. "Like this, baby?"
His hips piston in and out of her as he holds onto her hips, tugging her back into him as he thrusts forward.
“Fuck Jungkook— yes.”
He smirks as he listens to her pleas for more.
"Yes, baby?" He leans over her, his chest pressed against her back. "Do you like it when I fuck you rough?"
He moans at her words, his thrusts getting faster and harder. "Yeah, baby. You like when I fuck you rough like this hm? You're such a good girl for me."
He bites down on her shoulder as he reaches around and starts rubbing her clit. “So good for me.”
He smirks against her skin, feeling her getting closer to her release.
"That's right, baby. Cum for me. I wanna hear you scream my name." He thrusts into her a few more times before reaching down and starting to rub her clit furiously.
Her legs were shaking and her body was reacting all too well to his touch.
Jungkook was reaching his orgasm as well, trying to chase it with hers.
“Fuck I’m cumming.” She whined.
He groans at her words, feeling himself getting closer to his own release. "Yeah, baby. Cum for me. Cum all over my cock."
He thrusts into her as hard as he can, triggering her orgasm. "Fuck” Jungkook cursed.
“Feels so good— shit” she whimpered.
He growls at her words, feeling himself getting even closer to his release. "Yeah? Mm gonna cum all inside this pussy."
He thrusts into her a few more times before he couldn't take it anymore and cums inside her with a loud groan, filling her up.
“Shitttt” She panted, looking at how messy her pussy was because of them.
He pants hard, his forehead resting against hers as he tries to catch his breath. "Damn, baby. You felt so fucking good."
He smirks and kisses her lips gently. "Thank you, you always let me fuck you so good."
“Anything for you my love.” She giggled. “I can’t believe we had sex in here again.”
He lets out a chuckle, kissing her forehead. "Yeah, I know. I can't help it though. Everytime you walk in here I know I’m done for."
He smirks and kisses her again. "You always make me so excited.”
“You’re just lucky I can’t resist.” She laughed. “Let’s clean now so we can go get food. I’m fucking starving.”
He nods. "Yeah, let's clean up. My stomach is killing me." He pulls out of you and helps clean her up.
“I’m not done with you once we’re home.” He mumbled. “Once that food in my system I’m ready to go.”
“You can’t be serious.” She laughed.
#bts smut#jungkook smut#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic recs#jeon jungkook#jjk x reader#jimin and jungkook#jungkook fiction#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook fluff#bts jungkook#jeon jungkoooook#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jjk#jjk spoilers#jeongguk x reader#jeongguk smut#jeon jeongguk#jeon jungguk#jeon jk#bts jimin#bts#bts army#bts pjm#bts updates#bts x reader
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Part 2 of Hidden Pregnancy
“You keeping this from him is going to break his heart” and it did.
Luke showed up an hour after he got the call, not his choice but what can you do? When Jack called him to tell him what happened his heart dropped. Luke has always been protective of y/n especially when it comes to her health because it hasn't always been that great. But the new medication should be helping with all of that.
But if you ask him it is making it worse. She had been more tired than he had ever seen her, more moody than normal and not to mention it wasn't doing the job it was supposed to be if she was passing out. This has happened before but never when he was away and it scared him.
And getting to the hospital an hour after the fact did not make him feel any better. Only after parking and finding her room did he feel a little relief; and that was gone the second he opened the door and saw her face it was obvious she had been crying and Jack looked pale and nervous and none of this was helping his nerves.
“Hi baby, how are you feeling?” he says while running a hand through her hair and scanning her for anything wrong. “ I'm going to go find something to drink,” Jack said getting up to leave but before he could open the door the ultrasound tech came in asking to take y/n back to get her ultrasounds done.
Luke looked confused. “An ultrasound?” y/n really didn't know how much more of this she could take. The ultrasound tech says “Yeah it shouldn't take too long, we just want to make sure everything is ok with the baby.” Luke's heart is starting to beat at an alarming rate he turns to look at y/n but she is avoiding his gaze like the plague.
Before he can form the words to ask what the fuck she is talking about the tech is helping her into a wheelchair and pushing her down the hall. Luke is quick to follow not wanting to panic or cause a scene but he needs answers.
When they got to the room the tech left to grab something and y/n climbed on the bed still avoiding his gaze “y/n what is she talking about? What baby?” y/n finally looked in his direction “Our baby…” “W-what do- what does that mean OUR baby y/n?” y/n can't look at him anymore turning her head “ I'm pregnant Luke.”
“ Okay, are we ready to get started?” the ultrasound tech asked her hands full of the supplies and papers she left to grab “From the charts I have you haven't actually seen your OB yet?” y/n answered her voice horse “no I'm not scheduled till Friday.”
The tech smiled and said, “Well I know the circumstances aren't ideal but this is usually a big deal for first-time parents. Are you dad?” she asked Luke “Um I'm yes” he said trying not to get choked up “Congratulations. How long have we known?” y/n speaks up refusing to look at Luke.
“About 3 weeks now. I'm around 11 weeks I think.”
Luke can't believe what he is hearing 3 weeks his girlfriend has been keeping the news of a baby from him. Why would she do that? The tech continued to ask questions while she prepped the sonogram machine. The air was tense as she put gel on y/n stomach and rubbed the wand around her stomach.
Until she turned the screen toward the two of them showing a tiny blob “ok that is baby and if we move a little this way is the heartbeat.” The fast thump thump thump filled the small room causing both Luke and y/n's eyes to fill with tears. Luke reaches out for her hand and squeezes it. They don't look at each other, just holding her hand is enough.
They stayed like that until the tech finished the exam. Everything she said after was a blur, everything but “ looks like the baby is doing good and checked all the boxes.” which lifted a weight off of both of their chests. “ I will come back with discharge papers and you will be good to leave.” be for walking out leaving them alone once again.
They sit in silence for a minute before Luke speaks up “You have known for 3 weeks and didn't think to tell me?” She can tell by his voice that he is holding back just how mad and hurt he really is. “ I was scared.”
“That isn't an excuse y/n that is our baby I have a right to know.” y/n can't do any more of this “ I don't want to talk about it.” Luke looks at her tired appearance; he hates that even when he is mad at her she still gets what she wants from him. Shaking his head he sits down and waits for the discharge papers.
They make it all the way home without saying a word to each other and y/n gets in bed without saying a word while Luke cries in the bathroom for a good 15 minutes before getting in bed next to her. How could she keep something like this away from him? Did she think he wasn't a good enough partner to raise a baby with? What if they were seriously hurt today? Did she not want him to be by her side with all of these new unknowns?
He only sleeps for 2 hours before getting up for practice he decided he would let her sleep in and when he gets back they will talk about all of this he even left a note saying just that. On his way out he runs into Jack he doesn't say anything just pulls him into a hug. “How are you doing?” Luke shrugged “Why wouldn't she tell me something like that?” Jack shook his head “She told me a little bit about it after the doctor outed her but I think you guys should talk to each other about it. I will say I know that she is acting with fear, not logic.”
Luke kept that in mind when he got home and found her in the bathroom throwing up everything in her system. Getting down on the floor with her and rubbing her back “Let it out, baby. Good girl.” when she has literally nothing left to give she sits up flushed and wipes her mouth. Luke grabbed some mouthwash and handed it to her. She swished it around and spit in the toilet.
Still sitting on the floor Luke pulled her into his lap
“ I'm ready to talk about this y/n,” he says her name so she knows he means business “Okay.” it comes out as a sigh. “ I just- why didn't you tell me? That isn't like you to keep secrets.” she shook her head and pulled herself closer to him “ I'm scared I don't want you to leave me.” it sounds silly the thought of these two ever not being together.
“Why would I do that? Because you are pregnant with our baby You really think I would do that?” she wipes the tears that fall from her face “ I know it sounds dumb but I have this fear that I will have to do it alone just like my mom and my sister; I can't do it, Luke.” he tries to soothe her by rubbing her back “ y/n by not telling me you put yourself in a place where you were doing it alone anyway. And if I'm honest it kind of upsets me that you ever thought of me in the same light as those boys.” he takes a deep breath “ I love you that will never change ever and from now on we are doing this together. I don't want any fears we might have to prevent us from telling each other everything I want to be there for it all.” y/n nodes her head yes in agreement
“ We both are equally responsible for this baby. I know I can't physically carry the baby right now but I will take the weight of everything else and we will do it together.” Luke pulled her up to look at him “I couldn't be happier that you are the mother of my child you are my best friend this doesn't change that okay?” y/n shakes her head yes pulling him in for a kiss “I'm sorry Luke no more secrets I promise” She leans her forehead onto his “I love you. And just so we're clear I don't think of you like that, I was just clouded with fear. And if I'm honest I am really excited to be having a baby with you.” Luke smiled big “We are having a baby! Can you believe it?” with all of the fear out of the way there was only room for excitement and they were going to enjoy the whole journey together.
Y'all know the deal. Hope this is good I really can't tell enjoy and let me know what you think. 💋💋
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Rachel did a live Q&A in the LO Discord server and gave some news about the Animated Series, it’s still happening! (Surprisingly) Any thoughts on that or things you’d like to see from it?
Right, like every other time she's said it's "still happening" with no evidence to actually support it. That's always been the issue and still is.
Sorry, that's not me being snarky at you, I'm more so frustrated and absolutely fucking done with all the empty promises and platitudes.
Best case scenario with what was said during the Q&A was that she said "it's still happening" (worst case was that she didn't address it at all).
Like, how is this:
"I can say that… we are currently doing work on it… and it is going well.. and that it looks really cool and that I wish everyone could see what we’ve done because it looks really really really cool, and it’s happening, but that’s all I can say at this point… I can say, making tv shows takes a really long time, it takes so long" (last night's Q&A)
Any different than this:
Any different than this:
“Um, it’s been really interesting. It’s been educational for me. So, what I—what has been done so far is beautiful. Like, if I could share it, I would. But I can’t. Because it’s very naughty.” - Girl Wonder SDCC (July 2023)
She's been saying this for the last two years since people started getting suspicious it wasn't happening in the first place, and despite all the reassurances that "it's still happening", it doesn't seem to have anything to show for itself. Cast list? Nope. Director? Nope. Writers? Nah. Just a showrunner whose bio still says "TBA" and who, despite having a whole ass 40 minute long interview with Girl Wonder, still didn't have anything to show for what's to come, just more empty promises that it's "still happening" (and a lot of banter about Stephanie's life, rather than her involvement with LO).
In fact, most of what Stephanie talks about in the podcast concerning LO is pitching it, not developing it. And this interview happened just a few months ago. Go listen to it yourself if you don't believe me.
So at this point, I see "it's still happening" as "don't panic" corporate speak for "we're still pitching it and trying to find a network for it so we can actually move onto development." Yes, animation takes a long time, even Hazbin Hotel took about three and a half years to finally release after Prime bought the rights to it in 2020. But LO, again, clearly hasn't even started the animation process yet. And while we're comparing it to Hazbin, note that HH actually had LOADS to show for itself along the way of being developed and did a much, MUCH better job at staying relevant and pulling in new people and hyping it up. Even people who never watched Hazbin before in its indie days on Youtube were hearing about it, it made an active effort to sell itself to new viewers and break out of its bubble on Youtube. Is LO doing that? No, not really. Most of the people who know about it are diehard fans who refuse to read anything that isn't shown directly to them on Webtoons, and diehard haters who are tired of the garbage that gets advertised on Webtoons. Ask anyone who doesn't use Webtoons, and best case, they'll know someone who reads LO, worst case, they won't even know what a webtoon is.
Shit, even the new upcoming Zelda movie has names attached to it, including Avi Arad, Wes Ball, and Derek Connolly. And my god, it's gonna SUCK DICK with that bad of a line-up (the guy who ruined the OG Spiderman trilogy and created Morbius, the guy who directed the Maze Runner films, and one of the leading storywriters behind Rise of Skywalker, fucking YIKES) but hey, at least it has more than one name attached to it.
But okay, if we're gonna play the comparison game, let's be fair and compare LO to some other works in its own lane. Let's Play announced last year that it would be getting an animated adaption, and it already has a studio backing it that is FAR more suited for it than JHC is to LO - OLM, the same studio whose animated for massive franchises like Pokemon, Yo-Kai, and Gudetama. JHC meanwhile has animated... motion capture kid shows like Word Party. Because that's the only kind of animation they actually specialize in when it comes to their in-house services. Sure, they also have Harriet the Spy, but that wasn't animated by them, that was animated by Titmouse Inc (heh sorry).
I'm the Grim Reaper recently had its own animated adaption announced, and who's in charge of it? Oh, only SAM FUCKING RAIMI-
And look, maybe the Let's Play and I'm the Grim Reaper adaptions won't happen either. I just think it's ironic that they both have more to show for themselves in terms of credible names attached to them than what LO has managed to scrape up after five years of promising that it's "still happening" (especially when one of those series is nowhere near as big as LO and the one that WAS as big as LO walked away from Webtoons entirely). For Webtoons' own "worldwide phenomenon", they sure have given LO the shit end of the stick by pairing it with a family-with-kids-under-10 production studio that doesn't specialize in animation and a showrunner who got her start with the Cosmopolitan (weird how LO has so many plugs with Cosmo, huh? Why is JHC producing the show again?)
At the end of the day, nothing's changed. It's still just the ole' "it's still happening" record on a loop, while the comic itself falls further out of favor with people. And it's likely gonna be going behind DailyPass soon, so just think about what that's gonna do to its relevancy after it gets sent away to the equivalent of the Webtoons graveyard.
As I've said countless times before every time this topic comes up, at best, if it is still happening, and I'm wrong about all of this, they are doing the worst job I've ever seen at hyping people up and keeping them informed. It is NOT a good thing that people have to keep asking Rachel if it's still happening.
As for worst case... you wanna know what other projects come to my mind that have fallen into the same state of development hell and decay as LO's TV show? YandereSim and Cryamore. What do you think the popular opinion is about those works and their creators now? Because if you don't know either of those names and are about to google them, let me give you a heads up warning - it's not positive.
If it happens, it happens. It will hopefully be before I get all the therapy I need to undo what LO has done to my brain so that I don't have to make repeat visits LOL But if it's after, hey, maybe the show will be good! Assuming Rachel doesn't, y'know, E.L. James the whole thing. Because frankly, the show will need to cut and rework a LOT of stuff to be any good IMO and I don't think that will be possible if Rachel gets directly involved. But I'm not even hoping for that scenario because there's literally NOTHING to give me that hope, "it's still happening" is nothing more than "don't panic" corporate speak to me at this point. It's cynical, but I just can't waste my energy caring about it anymore.
#ask me anything#ama#anon ama#anon ask me anything#lore olympus critical#anti lore olympus#lo critical
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IT'S FINALLY HERE !!!!
I recommend reading Sever the Ties before reading this one! As it does have references to it so reading this fic without context might make this fic more non sensical.
warnings: Gore although not explored to an uncomfortable amount, trauma upon trauma, Axol gets brought up in an awful way, I know that Mercy is from Overwatch
It turned out a bit gayer than I thought it would. If you end up having any questions after reading this, don't be afraid to ask :3 I'll try my best to answer you
obligatory @birrdify tag so you can find this beast easy !!
word count:16451
It had been a while since 3 and 4 had their rather emotional adventure. Since then, things have been better. 3 finally let 4 help him more seriously with the café while 4 let 3 help him with his videos. 3 still didn't want to just take help without anything so this was the compromise they reached. The others were peaceful too, 1 and 2 calmly doing their meme research, Meggy, Melony and Tari training together, mainly Tari since Clench appeared. Although he wasn't very fond of that. They had to give him duck pictures every few minutes to comply. He's like a toddler. Saiko was there too, although more passively, just making sure everything was okay. Everything that had been happening lately just had her really worried. Although she didn't show that, she didn't want to worry her friends. And usually when she would show concern, people many times thought she was overreacting.
Luigi was tending to his flower shop like usual, just… Very Peaceful.
Everything was just. A bit too peaceful, very little chaos present, almost worryingly.
4 started thinking about it. It was weird. He searched for Mario and, interestingly, found him in one of the unfinished rooms, watching TV.
He only managed to find him because a set of extension cords plugged into each other were leading to a room there.
“Mario?” 4 peaked in the room to see only the TV’s light and Mario, anything else that could’ve been there was obscured by the darkness.
“... Yeah?” Mario replied a bit slowly.
“What… What are you doing up here?”
“Watching Tee Vee” Mario said cheerfully. TV made Mario very happy.
“Why here?”
“Nothing distracts me here”
“Huh, um… alright. I was just worried because you haven't been bothering anyone for a while”
“Awww, SMG4, you miss it?”
“Um-”
“Oh my god, you miss when I mess with you guys! That's so funny”
“Mario… I guess. I guess I did miss it”
Mario chuckled.
“Sometimes even Mario has to rest you know”
“Yeah, I get that… what are you watching anyways?”
4 asked as he walked beside Mario to see what he was so occupied with. It turned out to be what 4 would guess is a spaghetti themed soap opera, considering the vibes of the scene he saw with pasta in shape of a man and also some in shape of a woman arguing then making out and then arguing again-
“It's very entertaining”
“I… sure see that…”
4 wasn't exactly that big of a fan of such dramatic television. 4 went to leave the room but stopped for a bit.
“Make sure to do something other than watch TV though. Dark rooms…. have their effects…”
“Okay, mom” Mario dismissed 4.
4 rolled his eyes then finally actually left. Besides, he had a lot of videos to work on with 3. It was kind of interesting working with him like this. Especially that things are really looking up now.
Although Mario wasn’t exactly respectful towards 4, he still took his word. But not to touch grass. He found a show that reminded him of Two Piece.
“Ooooh, Melony would love this!” Mario picked up the TV and ran with it in the direction of Melony. Actually, he wasn’t even running, he was flying like a torpedo. Must be all his pent up energy bursting out of him or something.
He found Melony sleeping. He repeatedly tapped her until she woke up.
“Hmm..? Mario?” she looked at him tired “Do you need something?”
“Mario found a show you might like!!” he slammed down the TV with excitement. The giddiness was kind of rubbing off on Melony.
“I’ll take a look at it then” she smiled, clapping her hands together.
Mario took off incredibly fast, which surprised Melony a bit. She thought cardio wasn’t his thing but guess that isn’t always the case after all.
The show was really fun for Melony, truly exploring the depths of fruit romance, in ways that resonated with her so deeply. She wished she could just… absorb it into her. She never saw romance between fruits shown so intimately. With the way they’d hold each other, holding onto each other until the end. Though she was especially sad about a pairing where one of them lost their life to an evil chef. Oh, she awfully hated that chef. She actually kind of resonated with the character that got left lonely. She wished… she could just grab her, pull her out of the screen… Tell her, it won’t be easy but… it’ll pass one day. Everything will be okay. And she also loved the way fruits rotting were depicted. She usually wasn’t quite comfortable with the topic but there was just… something so well done about it here. Slowly seeing your loved one succumb to a different, much more deteriorated life.
The deep excitement she felt about the show slowly put her to sleep. It was odd for her to sleep like that but hey! Sleep is always good.
She found herself in a black void. Though she could feel ground underneath. She breathed in. Breathed out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax.
She tried to make out anything in her surroundings. As she walked around, her steps echoed, although it didn’t sound right. The way how even just the sound of her breath would bounce off the walls, then the sound ringing in her ears. She wasn’t exactly the cowardly type but this was starting to freak her out.
Regardless, she marched on, trying to find a way out of whatever she was in. She found a doorway that was blocked by debris. She sighed then thought for a bit… She had her deity powers. She tried to pick up the debris bit by bit but for some reason, even the smallest bits felt infinitely heavy. Even just a dust particle made her sink into the floor, no matter how much she tried. She sat down on the ground. It had been a while since she felt so powerless. She didn’t think she would find herself digging out such feelings she held. She thought she got rid of them at this point. Though there will always be inevitable things she won’t be able to escape.
She just sat there. Her breath. Echoing. Yet it was so deeply quiet. Way too quiet. Ringing in her ear, the depths of this nothingness she was trapped in. It had been a while since something was threatening to drive her mad this badly. She finally got up, walking in a different direction. Maybe she’ll find the way out that way. Or at least a purpose so she could stop feeling so worthless again. She knew her friends cared but she still couldn’t quite shake off everything she was feeling. Especially after missing out on so much. She was wondering if she felt that way because she had been avoiding new adventures so much. Sleeping away another day or 2, in hopes that tomorrow would be a new day she could finally do something more.
As she walked, she found a doorway with a beaten up door barely in its place. As she looked at it closer, she noticed blood splatter on it. Some of it looked old… some of it new. She was starting to feel rather anxious. Although she should be strong, the sight of blood always did something to her head. As if reminding her of times she would rather forget about.
She barely thought much more as she opened the door. Hell, to her it almost felt like she was being controlled. As she looked around, a horrific sight filled her view. It was Axol. He tried to speak but…that wouldn’t have been possible, looking at his state. She couldn’t speak either. She couldn’t call out. She didn't want this. She JUST had this image slowly fading from her mind. The time when she had to kill him for the good of everyone. He wanted her to kill him at that point. They both knew there was nothing else they could do. Yet, she would still be often haunted by this scene. A scene only she had to witness. Only she had the burden of having to see the light leave his eyes, to see him go limp, lifeless. And now, it was so clearly in front of her, so deeply visceral. Just as visceral as it was in the moment. She cried, she couldn’t help it. She slowly managed to make herself look away. It was hard to do from everything that was boiling within her then.
Wait… She couldn’t really be back there. This must just be a nightmare! A really bad one but still, it wasn’t real. She began to walk away from Axol, slowly breathing in and out. After that awful scene, the awful music of the void like rooms were almost welcoming, even if it felt like they wanted to swallow her whole. As she walked, another familiar sound filled her ears. Sounds of drawing with a pencil on paper. As she walked closer to the source, she saw herself, drawing for the manga, Two Piece, which Axol wasn’t able to finish. There were so many crumpled papers scattered around her, her expression tired, focused but emitting a sort of hopelessness. She remembered this… Starting off really wasn’t easy. So many times she just… She just wanted to give up. But with her friends around it was better. She stared at herself for a bit. She wanted to say something.
She placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey… You’ll be fine”
Her tired self stopped, then slowly looked at her. No words escaping her mouth. Yet those eyes showed so much. All the ways she suffered with everything. The amount of work she put into it.
“I” she started again “...We… We might not make it perfect. But that’s okay. Axol wouldn’t expect that anyways, you know? We… still carried his legacy. That’s what only matters in the end”
Her tired self teared up and pushed her away, going back to hopelessly scribbling.
“Do you even hear me?? We’ll be fine! I promise! A mediocre manga isn’t the end of the world!”
Her tired self slowly raised her hands, bruised from holding the pencil so tightly and for so long. She stared at her. Her eyes were screaming thousands of words. She knew all of it. All the pain. All the doubt. The tears, the needless bruises she bore through it all. She knew it wasn’t for nothing. But it would be too much for anybody on their own. Maybe even with help.
With being so invested in her feelings, she only noticed an unfamiliar hand on her forehead when she heard a crack.
She woke up, sweating. She looked around. Just where she was before, with the TV still playing the fruit show. She slowly calmed down. It was finally over. Although the images that the dream left in her brain… She couldn’t bear them alone so… best thing to do is to go outside and tell someone about it. That would usually help her. She got up, fixing her hoodie.
She looked out of the room, seeing Meggy and Tari both resting and Saiko beside the 2, calmly strumming on her guitar. They must’ve been training even after she left. She admired how resilient they both were. Even Tari. After everything she had also been through with everyone, she changed a bit too. To her it felt like inspiration.
“Hi, girls!” she cheered at the 3.
All 3 looked her way saying hi back but stopping, all of them looking at her horrified. She felt a bit confused.
“Why are you looking at me so weird? Is… my hair looking weird or-”
“Your… face” Saiko was the only one speaking up.
“My face?” Melony slowly felt her face, from her chin to her forehead, her fingers brushing over her usual features until she felt something weird by her forehead. As she trailed along lines she could feel were like valleys on her face. She rushed to the bathroom, the other 3 running after her, with Saiko at the front of it.
Melony looked in the mirror, her face was cracked like a mask. Wait… The nightmare… the crack before she woke up. It was starting to make sense. Too bad she wasn’t too happy about that.
The other 3 finally caught up to her, finally being able to be by her side.
“Melony…” Tari looked like she could cry for Melony. Melony could cry too. She couldn’t take it, so she hugged Tari. Meggy patted her on the back and she got pulled in the hug too. Saiko stood there before Melony locked eyes with her and oops, she was in the hug now too.
“I- I.. I can use all the comfort right now” she spoke quietly. Saiko understood.
They stood there like that for a while.
“So…” Saiko started “What… happened?”
“Uh… I… I had a nightmare”
“About?”
“Well… Axol”
All 3 looked at her concerned.
“It’s been a while since he showed up like that in your dreams”
“I know! I don’t know… I don’t know why… Oh and… I heard a crack in my nightmare… so…”
Saiko already looked angry.
“I’ll look around in your room” she left.
The 3 looked after her sadly.
“I didn’t know it was still that bad…” Meggy commented again, feeling kind of guilty, as if it was her fault that Melony had such an awful nightmare.
“I thought it wasn’t either” Melony sounded sad.
Tari leaned on her more, trying to comfort her better.
“I know you were getting better! There must be an explanation for this… I think… This is unusual for you?”
Meggy and Melony shared a look, as they both realised Tari is right.
“We must get to the bottom of this” Meggy piped up, as she left the bathroom, going after Saiko. Tari followed, though stopped in the doorway.
“Are you coming too?”
Melony calmed herself a little, lightly clenching her fists, preparing herself to face whatever may come her way. Then she gave a small nod and followed after Tari.
They all got to where Melony slept before, the TV still in there, undisturbed for the most part. As there was nothing wrong with it, except for the fact that it was turned off. As Melony was looking at it, it was as if the screen itself was crawling deep into her soul. She wasn’t sure if she felt uncomfortable by it or not. But it was a strong feeling either way.
“What is this TV?” Saiko asked Melony.
“Well, Mario showed me a cool show on it. I actually watched it until I fell asleep”
Saiko looked back and forth between the TV and Melony. Seemingly, Tari was slowly catching on.
“Do you think… the show has something to do with it?” Tari looked at Saiko, lightly cocking her head to the side.
“I would say yeah”
“But the show was so good! I’ve never watched something so nice! It’s probably just the show that made me think of the past but that’s- that’s understandable! It was genuinely nice”
“What kinda show was it?” Tari asked.
“It kind of reminded me of Two Piece actually” she cheered.
“Oh, I love Two Piece! Could we watch it together sometime?” Meggy joined.
Saiko was a bit stupefied as the 3 went on to talk about the show as if there was nothing wrong. She still couldn’t shake off the fact that Melony’s face looked like that. She had to go look for answers. And… She might have had just the right idea…
It had been a few days then, Melony’s face still cracked but it seemed she cared less and less. Everybody else around just- seemed to care less. Especially as everyone seemed to be occupied with shows of their dreams. Meggy with a show with so much action and fighting she only could dream of. With wonderful character development, she was mesmerized. Not only that, the female lead absolutely had her from first sight, perfect role for someone so interesting. Playing the whole part perfectly, trying to survive in a world that tried to get rid of her and turning up victorious against all odds. Tari was watching a cutesy show, it was peaceful but still kind of mature with the way the characters talked. She related to the very real issues the characters had while adoring their adorable designs. They seemed to lead much more normal, relaxed lives than what they’ve been having in SMG4. It almost felt idyllic to her. She was close to just… jumping into the TV to escape everything else. 3 and 4 were too busy with their work to even notice at this point. It seemed, even together they can get a bit carried away. Or maybe flirting during work did them in a bit. And nobody even noticed that Saiko was still gone.
This continued. And only got worse. 3 and 4 only realised when barely any customers were coming in.
“You think we messed up? Do they think this place is bad again?” 3 sounded worried.
“No way, we’ve been doing so well! There must be an explanation” 4 wrapped his arm around 3 to comfort him. As usual, it did sort of work.
“I say we close up and look around”
“Just what I was thinking!”
They closed the café for the day.They first approached the castle, maybe the crew could know something about what was going on.
They both entered the castle. It was way too quiet.
“This is creepy” 3 quietly commented.
4 looked at him, that teasing look in his eyes.
“What’s the whispering for? Are you scared someone else will hear you and know you’re a coward?” he laughed.
3 grabbed 4’s face.
“As if you’re not scared!”
“A bit maybe” 4 laughed. 3 pressed a soft kiss on 4’s lips before moving ahead.
4 was left like a smiling idiot before moving along with 3.
They looked around everywhere, not seeing anybody.
Except… Mario. Mario was watching TV, just like how last time 4 really managed to talk to him. Because of work he didn’t manage to hang out with him as much as he wanted to.
“Mario! Are you at fault for people disappearing??” 3 barged into the room Mario was watching TV in. It was the same room 4 found him in before.
“Shhh!!” Mario shushes 3.
“Dude! This is serious!” 4 chimed in.
They both got slapped out of the room.
“Mario’s watching TV!! Go away!!”
They both got up, it was quite the landing as Mario slapped them pretty hard. 3 had a devious smile on. 4 looked concerned.
“Hey… 4… I have an idea. But you might not like it”
“Say it anyways”
“We could… unplug the electricity! He can’t watch TV then!”
4 thought about it.
“Well- Damn it, what else can we do anyways, let’s go”
“Heh… didn’t even need to convince you this time”
“I just don’t have a better idea”
3 chuckled. They went down to the basement to turn the electricity off. As they came up, they quickly met with a very distraught Mario. And quickly he also went past them. Screaming something about spaghetti. They followed him to see that he devoured the whole fridge.
“M… Mario?” 4 asked him carefully, he was kinda scared.
Mario saw him and ran out. 3 and 4 ran after him to see him yanking the extension cords with might and devouring the TV whole.
“Much better” he cooed as he sat on the ground, seemingly satisfied with himself.
“What… What was that Mario?” 4 was in disbelief.
Mario raised one finger then lowered it as he thought.
“I remembered I was very hungry! I couldn’t think! TV tasted kind of weird but it’s fine”
“Sure, man” 3 wasn’t even surprised anymore. Mario just pulls stuff like this.
“So… Mario…. Where are the others?” 4 asked, trying not to freak out as he remembered their original goal when they came into the castle.
“Hmmmm…. Mario doesn’t know…. Let’s look together?”
“Sure, come with” 4 said as he now led the way outside.
Walking around, everywhere was kind of quiet.
“Oh, sure hope this isn’t like that one time Mario stopped time…” Mario sounded scared.
“We’re still moving, idiot, you didn’t accidentally stop time” 3 replied.
“Yeah, 3’s right”
“You’re only saying that because you’re gay for him….” Mario pouted, looking away, crossing his arms.
“Just because I love him I’m not gonna spare him from the truth”
“You heard him!”
“Hmmmm…” Mario wasn’t convinced.
“Besides, what have you been doing all this time?” 4 questioned Mario.
“Watching TV. Only that really”
“Damn, shut in” 3 laughed.
“I… I felt glued to the screen. So… yeah…” Mario looked away from the 2. 3 felt bad almost immediately.
“Okay dude… I guess it’s not your fault- at least you’re outside now” 3 attempted to apologise.
“You tried” 4 didn’t spare 3 of the truth.
3 rolled his eyes.
Mario suddenly stopped by a window. 3 and 4 stopped too, to see him looking at a TV.
“Don’t tell me you’re trying to watch TV again-” 4 was about to freak out on Mario.
“No no- look” Mario said, pointing at the TV “This is just like the one I had at home!”
The 2 looked at it closely, and recognised it. Not only that, they saw familiar faces on TV. Acting nothing like themselves. Their friends were stuck in shows.
“That looks like the TV guy’s head who manipulated you” 4 almost shouted with how angry he was at just the sight of the TV.
3 was more calm, at least on the outside. He was more scared if anything. He really didn’t want to see that guy again.
“That means… that abandoned studio! We… we need to go back there” 4 said.
3 looked uncomfortable.
“Do we… really have to? I mean uh, it’s not like I’m scared but-”
“It’s okay, 3… I believe in us. This is… for all of our friends”
“Our friends… you’re- you’re right but-”
“You’re scared he could take advantage of you again, aren’t you?” Mario pointed at 3.
Both were a bit shocked.
“I… I am” 3 looked at him “How… How did you know?”
Mario twirled around once before finally giving a reply.
“Mario cares about his friends”
3 was a bit flustered by that.
“Aww, you’re still not used to being called a friend! 3 !!!” 4 teased him while hugging him.
“Awww, SMG3!!” Mario joined in on the hugging as well.
“C- Can- Can we just go, please??” 3 cried out. The other 2 laughed as they now got going to that very dreaded place. At least they felt a bit better now.
Just as they were about to go in, even if they likely just. Weren’t allowed to, they got grabbed from behind.
And, my god… All 3 screamed.
“What- quiet, oh my god” the very mysterious TV man said as he stepped back from the 3.
“What are you doing to our friends? Let them GO??!” 4 was ready to throw hands. He was so furious.
“Hold your horses, SMG4, we didn’t even have a formal introduction yet!”
“Hell if I care, I just want you dead” 4 didn’t look like he was kidding.
The TV headed man looked unamused.
“I should’ve expected that…” he reached a finger towards 4, stopping him in his place.
“Now! Might I introduce myself! I’m Mr Puzzles, the head of Puzzlevision, a studio that is on its way to be THE best one. You’re walking on historic grounds”
“This place was a dump not too long ago”
“Oh, you must’ve dreamed that!! And what an awful dream that sounds” Puzzles grinned, a menacing aura emanating from his gaze.
“Wh… What but… you… we… we…” 3 felt scared again. 4 wanted to move so badly to comfort him but couldn’t.
Mario wasn’t sure what to do. He realised, he needed to stop thinking. And so he stopped his needless thoughts and rammed right into Puzzles like a bull. It was so sudden, Puzzles had no way to react.
“Oh why YOU-”
It was then that Mario realised he got himself into a bit of a pickle. He didn’t have time to think, he launched himself right into the studio.
“YOU CAN’T GO IN THERE” Puzzles ran after Mario, looking so angry he was tearing up from it.
3 sighed, looking at the still frozen 4. He couldn’t hide it, he felt a bit hopeless. He grabbed 4’s frozen hand with which he was trying to reach for Puzzles. His hand still had the warmth he was very familiar with. At least something to comfort him amongst everything.He only stopped feeling so pensive when he could feel 4 move a finger. He got so excited, he squeezed 4’s hand as he then fell over with him. 3 chuckled, feeling a little stupid, a little embarrassed.
“Sorry, man” 4 chuckled back as he tried to get up.
“A little more?” 3 held 4 back.
“I appreciate that but- on the ground?”
“Okay okay, fine” 3 looked away as he got up.
“No need to be embarrassed! I do love your hugs”
3 sighed as he pulled 4 in for a quick peck on his lips.
“Yea yea but we have bigger things to worry about right now! That TV guy is still definitely chasing Mario”
“Mario! Right! Oh god, I hope he’s okay” 4 ran in, 3 followed after.
“Probably-” as they walked in, the place was in chaos. They looked around, finally finding the 2 with Mario being about to be caught.
“Mario!” 4 cried out when he saw him. Puzzles got distracted, which gave Mario the chance to fight back as he punched Puzzles’s screen. And not lightly at that. The sound of it shattering. It was as if the whole building went silent. Puzzles seemed to stop. It was so quiet, you could hear their breathing.
Puzzles slowly looked back to Mario, holding his own face. His gaze rained on Mario like an avalanche. He wasn’t exactly one to feel intimidated but here he was. It was as if the TV was bleeding pure technicolour. The TV itself still somehow worked, although glitchy. His head twitched.
3 had enough of watching as he kicked Puzzles in his shin. It distracted him long enough that the 3 of them could escape Puzzles’s grasp. For now.
They ran and hid in a room. It was dark. Not pitch black but pretty dark. As their eyes adjusted, they noticed 3 chairs by each other. It was a bit weird. Mario took a seat without thinking much about it.
“Mario, you can’t do that!” 4 tried to warn Mario who really didn’t give a single damn.
“Why can’t I? It’s just a chair!”
3 and 4 were staring at Mario for a bit, nothing seemed to happen.
“Eh, might as well” 3 took another seat.
4 gave into peer pressure, sitting down himself.
“Okay, but we still need to figure out what to do about this guy… But more importantly, how to save our friends.”
“Yeah… I don’t get it. I thought we got rid of him then!” 3 grumbled.
“If anything, he acted as your wingman with how long you took to get together” Mario said rather nonchalantly.
The 2 stared at him.
“I bet we would’ve realised without him!” 4 felt upset, 3 patted him on the back.
“Yeah! And our confession to each other would’ve been so much better if he didn’t step in!” 3 was upset at the idea that Mario proposed as well.
“Not to my knowledge”
“What do you know anyways?” 3 was agitated.
Mario just grinned so wide, even in the dark it was annoying.
Just as 3 was considering hitting Mario, light appeared in the room, in the form of a TV.
3 and 4 felt rather scared, jumping into each other’s arms, maybe even considering leaving while Mario looked excited.
“Yay TV time!” Mario cheered, as if he wasn’t JUST chased by a TV headed man out to kill him.
3 and 4 sat back, trying to calm down. A film started playing.
As the credits rolled, they recognised some names. Their friends were playing in the movie.
3 and 4 shared a glance while Mario was almost glued to the screen.
Then the title came up.
…
“The fragmented director”
The scene opened with a montage of a cheerful kid, drawing and getting older over time. Just as the time passed, his drawings were getting better too, more advanced, as if it could escape the screen and get you. Especially because they were animated. The film continued with the now teenager making more and more things. So much of it felt like a reference to something, especially from big movies and shows.
3 and Mario didn’t quite see it, but 4 was starting to get uncomfortable with how alone the kid seemed to be. Nobody else appeared in the scenes so far, just this kid and his drawings. 4 could relate in his own way. Thinking about all the times he locked himself up to work on things, just as lonely as this character, chosen but still painful loneliness. He was starting to feel it maybe a little too much…
“Dude.. are you crying?” 3 whispered to him.
As 4 took his hand to his face, indeed, tears were streaming down his face. How did he not realise it?
Mario looked at him too, immediately feeling worried for 4 as he leaned on him, trying to give him at least some physical comfort.
“It’s okay… I’m okay… just… a little too relatable”
3 shook his head, holding 4 himself. 4 was trapped in the hold of the 2 people he cared about the most…It was reassuring as he managed to look back at the screen.
The next scene began as the adult version of the once teen entered an office. As the scene continued, it became obvious that he got a job in the animation industry. He was still rather painfully lonely, even if there were people in the background. They were never directly interacting with him.
As the scene went on, he seemed to have more and more workload on his desk. His hand was shaking, his eyes not focused, with eyebags. He was overworked. He couldn’t stand it. It was obvious.
The scene ended with him finally clocking out and heading home.
4 was starting to feel weird about the relation of the title to the actual contents of the movie. This guy was nowhere near to being at such a high position, neither did he seem fragmented. It gave him a bad feeling.
It was late at night when the scene opened again. The man couldn’t sleep. He got up and went outside. The night looked peaceful, everything looked serene. The sky was just as pretty as ever.
The man looked up at the sky, as if wishing for something, then he went inside.
He seemed to think for a bit, before getting out a box full of DVDs of movies he could watch. As he was searching, he didn’t hear it. He didn’t feel it. He didn’t know what was coming. It was loud, sudden. Fatal. It ripped his head right off, whatever it was. The scene was dark enough that you wouldn’t be able to see too much detail, just enough to make out what happened. It left 4 stunned, but 3 seemed to take it worse as he noticeably hugged him tighter when the scene happened.
The scene slowly closed with slowly zooming in on the TV, kind of damaged yet for some reason it still seemed to be on and flickering.
The scene went dark, then it opened in the studio the guy worked at. It seemed the workplace was more alive. With some people chatting on a break, others working on stuff together, helping each other. Although it wasn’t corporate grade efficient, people were definitely having more fun.
Slowly, as the scene panned from everyone working, it seemed to go to one door. A closed door. The door slowly opened. As if for a split second it looked bloody everywhere, the red mixing with a familiar technicolour mixed within, making the scene pretty yet still gruesome. However the scene went back to normal, as if nothing was ever out of the ordinary.
The door revealed the all too familiar Mr Puzzles sitting behind the desk in a rather comfortable chair, directly looking at the camera. He was smiling, although it started to feel more threatening.
The scene switched back to the dark, red scene. Puzzles was holding a guy, limp. His expression and the amount of blood on him seemed to indicate that he killed the man. There was just enough detail on there to see that the dead man was dressed in formal attire. It seemed similar to what Puzzles was wearing, as if to indicate the idea that he took his place. The screen suddenly went black.
Then the outside of the studio was shown. Time seemed to have passed, as the text “A few years later” showed up on the screen. The studio was much bigger than what it seemed to be before. It looked like Puzzles brought the place to success. Just as someone with a gun just barely managed to appear on the side of the frame, the scene changed, being on the inside, full of very happy workers. Maybe too happy. Uncanny happy. But they were working.
The scene then switched to a smug Mr Puzzles, looking at something. The scene then switched to what he was looking at, which seemed to be a list on a computer with other studios’ names crossed out. It kind of looked like a hit list for competition in a way.
But just then. Gunshot. Screaming. And bam, the atmosphere changed. The environment coated red, with bodies littered everywhere, mercilessly. The figure that showed up in the frame before walked by, just as mysterious as before. Walking till they reached an all too familiar office. Though this time, it wasn’t Puzzles’s doing that everywhere was covered in blood. Perhaps the movie was just foreshadowing this. Because it was hard to deny that the scenes when 3 and 4 thought about it - Mario was busy thinking about spaghetti at the sight of the colour red - were way too similar for it to be a coincidence.
The door opens again. Puzzles looked terrified but not shocked. It was almost like he was expecting this to happen.
“I’m doing this for everyone” the chilling text read on the screen, oddly enough it was centered. Behind it the gun was slowly raised at Puzzles, who didn’t seem to do anything about it. He was expecting it for sure.
The screen went dark as soon as the gun was fired. Then a familiar scene showed up. With 3 and 4 when they were in the ruins of the studio. There wasn’t any audio but it was obvious they were being gay. Mario teasingly pointed at the screen, making both 3 and 4 roll their eyes.
However, after they were out from the crumbling building, once they were gone, a hand reached out from the ruins. A very familiar hand at this point. And that was where it ended. Although an abrupt ending, they could sort of start to guess what happened after this.
4 wished he could beat everything that’s left alive in him at this point. He was really tired of this guy. Although the movie had him kind of confused. How did he come back to life? What was even the thing that killed him? And… How did he acquire anti meme energy?
He hated coming back to this same point that had his head in the clouds, clouds that compared to the worst storms. He did get headaches from thinking about it sometimes. He was too curious yet he couldn’t figure it out… The Godbox was no more. They destroyed it. Wasn’t that the only place where anti memes would occur? It didn’t make any sense. And yet he tried and struggled for an answer either way to no avail. But it felt like he was missing something. Like a missing fragment of a puzzle that just wouldn’t complete.
He looked to 3, seemingly with a similar reaction. 3 looked back at him. While first with confusion, his expression heavily changed when he realised.
“We brought this bitch back to life!!”
“What?” 4 was as confused as ever. Clueless idiot.
“Our meme energy? I think… I don’t know…” 3 looked down, not quite sure now himself either.
“Hmmm” Mario joined in the convo “Maybe SMG1 and 2 could help?”
“Wow, smart!... From Mario. What a day” 3 laughed. 4 laughed too, maybe looking at 3 a bit too strongly.
Mario rolled his eyes at the gays, getting up from the chair.
“We don’t have all day… besides” Mario patted his tummy “Mario is about to crave some mad spaghetti”
3 and 4 exchanged glances, before they got up and walked to the door as well, cautiously opening it. Nothing seemed to be around. Nobody. Not a soul. So empty their tiny breaths could echo.
They left the room, walking out in the chaos Mario left. This felt… too easy… Though, they still didn’t know what happened to their friends. Only thing 4 noticed was they sometimes showed up in the background of that peculiar movie. They weren’t exactly in the focus so it took him a bit to realise that they were appearing from time to time.
Just as they were about to walk out of the door, Puzzles appeared again. His screen was fixed. It was quite fast for being so damaged.
“Mario can kick you again!!” Mario piped up “I’ll beat your ass”
Puzzles flicked his hand and stopped Mario in place.
He walked up to the other 2 as he shoved Mario out of the way.
“Enough of him, I wanted to offer you 2 something” his now well known menacing gaze came back.
“What?? No, I don’t want anything from you!!” 4 could care less.
“Really now? Not even your friends?” Puzzles laughed.
“Our… our friends”
“You’re a sick freak, I hope you know that” 3 tried to comfort 4 while staring daggers.
“I’ve been told, yes… but… my deal for you, SMG4”
4 stayed silent.
“You see… I’ve never seen SUCH a strong need for great content as yours. Your will to create… It’s rather marvelous. And I need it. If you joined me… We could make something perfect. I know… I know how long you have been chasing that, even if you don’t tell anybody. I know”
4 looked at him shocked. He couldn’t reply. Puzzles wasn’t wrong.
“Seems I gotcha, didn’t I?” he laughed “Regardless… I was hoping you could join me in this endless endeavor”
“4…?” 3 looked at 4 worried.
3 didn’t take long getting angry.
“He- He’s not leaving this world behind! I know he enjoys it more when it’s authentic and fun, he doesn’t need you and your artificial concept of perfection”
“Well, just look at him! Don’t you see it in his eyes?” Puzzles leaned closer to 4 “I can see it… that utterly strong urge in him to always prove himself… to prove himself worthy of people’s attention. And I can give that to him, unlike you”
“I helped him finish the perfect video though”
“And I got him there. I gave him the needed tool to make sure it could even happen in the first place. You 2 don’t even come close to what my tools can do on their own… Imagine how much greater… maybe even both of you would be? Wouldn’t it be great? Finally… achieving perfection, the height of creation… and, leaving behind the times when people didn’t even care about you, SMG3”
Puzzles grinned wide, seeing how he managed to get to the both of them until he got hit hard on his head.
“HUH??” he turned around to see Mario “HOW DID YOU UNFREEZE YOURSELF??”
“Kiss my ass” Mario threw it back before he started running around like crazy. Puzzles could feel something snap in him as he went to chase after him, even if that wasn’t the logical thing to do.
3 and 4 used that time to get away and find 1 and 2 to figure out what’s going on.
It took a while but at least they got away from Puzzles’s grasps.
“3…?”
“Yeah, 4?”
“You… You think Mario will be fine?”
“I… I’m sure. You know he’s strong”
“Yeah but-” 4 stopped “I feel guilty. We just left him there”
3 stopped beside 4, slightly annoyed.
“Maybe… we can lessen his suffering if we speed up and try to get to SMG1 and 2 as fast as possible!” 3 was rather snarky but it worked, as 4 shook his head then looked up to the sky, hope sparking within him.
“You’re right”
“Of course I am, now let’s get going, you lovable loser”
4 laughed at the name before he hurried along.
They got into the city. It was rather empty. No buses even going around. Cars left unattended. 3 already had his villainous look come up on his face.
“4, we gotta steal a car, dude”
“No… Not today, 3. We’ve gotta get to them without committing several crimes along the way.”
3 rolled his eyes.
They looked around more. Waited around. Genuinely, everywhere was empty.
“Okay… we’ll steal a car”
3 immediately chose one that he had been eying for a bit and got into the driver seat, speedrunning hacking it so it can be driven without a key. 4 just took the shotgun seat with a tired sigh.
“Got it!” 3 cheered.
“Alright, just start driving or who knows what will happen to Mario”
“Already ahead of you!”
And they sped off. No cops anyways so 3 wasn’t respecting any of the rules of the road. That much was expected though.
They got there pretty quickly considering there was nobody to chase them either for speeding.
They got out and knocked on 1 and 2’s door in their apartment which they had to sadly break into. There wasn’t anyone there to stop them anyways.
An exhausted 1 opened the door, who looked at them weird for a second before feeling relieved.
“Thank god you 2 are okay! Come in” he motioned for them to go inside.
Inside they saw 2 being greatly buried in research. It seemed they were looking for something. Saiko was there as well, doing her part in research as well. Though she looked more exhausted than the other 2.
“...Saiko? You’re okay?” 4 felt surprised.
She took a bit to look away from the book she was trying to get through.
“Okay is an overstatement”
“She’s been looking for a way to help Melony” 1 added context.
“What happened to her?” 4 asked.
“You didn’t see? Her face cracked, and from what I found… It might not be so great. But I… I’ve been looking either way. I wish I could help her”
“Geez… 4, maybe we’ve overdone the whole uh…” 3 turned to 4.
“We’ve been way too busy… we barely realised what was happening… How long have you been here?”
“About… a few days?”
“8 days and counting” 1 said before going back to searching himself.
“Well… 3 and I figured something out… And it might not look so great”
“Oh? A new lead is probably what we need right now” 2 crawled out of the books then yawned. Although he seemed intent to listen either way.
“So… I’m pretty sure it’s our fault…”
“What?” 1 looked up surprised “What did you do?”
“You remember that big amount of energy we caused when we uh… mended our guardian bond?”
“...Oh”
“The TV that had been haunting us used it to come back to life”
“It seems that was his plan all along” 3 commented “What an insidious freak… kinda envious in a sense”
4 looked at him, unamused.
“Anyways” 4 continued “I don’t know if I mentioned it before but… I’m starting to feel more and more scared about the idea that he had access to anti meme energy”
“Yeah… that shouldn’t be possible. We destroyed the Godbox!” 2, although tired, was still very adamant about that.
“At least we thought it seems…” 1 said.
Everyone looked at him.
“But we saw it blow up!” 4 joined.
“But you said it yourself. And both of you felt anti meme energy so…. you would know, no?”
4 wanted to combat it with something but he couldn’t.
“I just don’t… I don’t get it… I thought we destroyed it”
“Wait…” 3 thought for a bit “We didn’t destroy it… it was only blown up”
“Isn’t… that the same thing?”
“No! You see… explosions don’t destroy anything in a meaningful way… they tear things apart. If you exploded right now, we would still have the material you were made of!”
“... You want me to blow up?” 4 looked sad.
“No, you idiot” 3 chuckled “I just brought it up as an example. But if you continue that way…” 3 winked at 4 before getting back to the issue at hand. 4 understood the implications and became rather flustered.
“So you’re saying…” 1 seemed to catch on “fragments of the Godbox could be still out there?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying”
“Oh no…” 2 seemed to start panicking a little.
“Oh no indeed” 4 added on. He didn’t seem any better.
“We would… love to go right away but” 1 yawned “Well you know…”
Saiko already seemed to lean against the wall as a book slipped out from her grasp.
“Mhmm” she seemed to agree with the unspoken need to just pass out right about then.
“I don’t know… will Mario hold out until then?” 4 thought out loud, which made 1 and 2 go wide eyed despite their god awful sleepiness.
“What… What?” 1 questioned.
“We… only managed to get away because of Mario distracting the insane TV headed guy” 3 confessed, it felt heavy either way.
“Oh no..”
“Do we… Do we trust Mario? We… can’t go back alone” 4 proposed, although he didn’t feel good about it.
“I… I’m afraid yes” 1 felt just as bad about it. Everyone did. Mario didn’t deserve this.
They all decided to go rest up for today, they wouldn’t be quite as useful this tired anyways.
Although the guest room was taken, there was still a measly couch for 3 and 4. Saiko offered to switch but the 2 declined, saying she needs the best rest possible. It was great to feel cared for. She would’ve felt bad if she declined at that point.
Although 1, 2 and Saiko were quickly all asleep in their respectful sleeping places, 3 and 4 had a harder time.
4 laid on top of 3, it was at least a nice feeling to be close like this. 3 was petting 4’s head, which 4 laid on 3’s chest.
“Are you able to sleep?” 3 asked him softly.
4 raised his head up.
“I’m trying to…”
“I’m worried too, 4…”
“I just hope he’ll be okay”
“We’ll make sure of it, okay? I promise” 3 held 4’s face in an attempt to comfort him. 4 scooted a little closer to 3’s face to give him a short kiss.
“Okay” 4 smiled.
“Now sleep, blue, a long day is ahead of us tomorrow… as if we never have big evil to fight… we should take a vacation at some point”
4 chuckled at the suggestion.
“You’re right”
They finally laid down for good, managing to sort of fall asleep.
Mario didn’t have such a great time with Puzzles. The man was chasing him endlessly and was trying to trap him in some sort of substance. The whole area around the studio was covered in it. They both felt tired and yet Puzzles persisted, seemingly angrier and angrier with every strike he attempted to throw Mario’s way. His aim was definitely getting worse. But he got so tired, he raised both of his hands up together and in a downwards motion made enough appear to cover the place with it. Mario wasn’t able to run anymore. He got sucked right in. But Puzzles did so too.
Then, Mario found himself in a dark void.
“Am I dead?” he screamed as he got up “Is this hell??”
“Shut up, heathen” Puzzles didn’t take his behaviour well “You’re being too loud for my taste”
“Am I in hell??” Mario whisper shouted.
Puzzles rolled his eyes.
“No. I actually accidentally trapped both of us” he sighed “I have to be trapped with YOU of all people”
“You don’t like Mario and his sexiness, huh, TV man?”
“You PUNCHED in my screen??”
“You lived? Haha, cope seethe”
“YoouUUUU” he got up again, going for Mario’s throat.
Mario tried to punch his screen again, though he couldn’t quite reach. In a moment of desperation, he bit down on Puzzles’s hand as hard as he could, making him yelp in pain, yanking his hand away.
“You ANIMAL”
“Rawwr” Mario looked ready to fight again as he lunged at Puzzles.
They fought around for a while, until both felt tired enough to collapse. Kind of weird how they ended up beside each other. Looking up into the endless void was… somehow calming. Even for Mario. He almost forgot he was stuck in some of the worst situations he ever got into.
“Why did you steal my friends again, TV man?” Mario asked, turning to Puzzles. He seemed to be genuinely curious.
It took Puzzles by surprise.
“Oh? Well… I wanted to make my studio even larger so I can have the biggest and best studio in existence”
“What’s the point of that?”
“Wha… What? Are you kidding? Being accomplished like that? It’s the best thing anyone could have happen in their lives!”
Mario stared at him and slapped him.
Puzzles once again angry, he got up, trying to tackle him. This man annoyed him so goddamn much. Mario evaded him and tried to fight back but he was failing at hurting Puzzles as well. It was almost like they were syncing up in the worst possible way. Missing and dodging in harmony.
“Are you happy?” the question sounded from Mario’s mouth, echoing in Puzzles’s mind.
“What?”
“Are you happy?”
“Why are you asking me shit like this? I thought you were a bumbling idiot”
“Not right now. Are you happy, Mr Puzzles?”
“Oh… Oh! I get it now!” Puzzles got up and turned away from Mario “Your personality is inconsistent! That’s why my powers weren’t working on you! All along, your odd character PROTECTED YOU”
Puzzles whipped around, the anger was kind of familiar for Mario at this point. Another fight, another feeling of exhaustion kicking in. Even the fight felt familiar. Maybe it was just the weird atmosphere of this dark void but he felt sort of less worried now.
Once again, they ended up lying beside each other.
“You didn’t answer my question” Mario sounded calm.
“And I…. won’t ever”
Mario sighed. They both stayed silent for a while.
Mario wasn’t the one to usually think but he did find the behaviour weird.
“You gave up on killing me pretty fast I’ll say” Mario joked. Puzzles looked at him unamused, no verbal reaction.
After resting enough, Puzzles sat up. He kind of felt hopeless in this silence.
“You know what, Mario?” he looked to him “I’m not happy”
“Thought so” Mario sat up.
“Do you… want to know why?”
“I’m bored anyways”
“Well, you’ve… seen my movie… you know…”
“I know?”
“There’s something inside me that shouldn’t be” he raised his hand to his neck, gently brushing his fingers just above his collarbones.
Mario only now seemed to catch on. It took him this long to realise that whatever crashed into Puzzles’s living place that night was actually inside him.
“Heh, there’s lot of things inside me as well that shouldn’t be”
“…What?”
“Dumpster”
Puzzles looked at him horrified then chuckled.
“You’re truly a unique kind of a man, Mario”
“I knooow… very sexy and awesome”
Puzzles rolled his eyes at Mario’s grand modesty. He was starting to find it weird how he was actually starting to have peace with having to be stuck with Mario. Hell, it was a little worrying.
He never felt this way… Like, enjoying someone’s company? He only ever loved working on his beautiful creations, people were like filler to his life. What changed? Or is Mario really… this special? He didn’t know and never did being unsure in his life make him so conflicted. He always liked to make sure he knew everything, he thought he went into his plan knowing everything at this point. His plan was flawless. And yet Mario could walk in and ruin it all. And take away the perfection he wanted so much but… In the end, Mario would be right. He doubted it would make him happy. In a weird and twisted way, he felt alright with everything being ruined.
“So… how long are we gonna be stuck here, TV dude?” Mario asked, though seemingly not worried.
“I’m… not sure myself”
“Oh… OH?? Are we stuck here forever?? What have you done?” Mario screamed, jumping up, grabbing Puzzles by the straps of his pants.
Something hit differently about Mario’s grasp on him as he felt a sharp pain like that fateful day. He screamed as he pushed Mario away.
Mario was confused then saw the state he put him in. Although he tortured his friends, it was still hard to not feel bad for him.
“TV guy…?”
He was in so much pain he couldn’t speak. He slowly laid down, very carefully to not hurt himself even more. Mario sat beside him. His curiosity… He slowly reached out and touched that same place.
Puzzles winced in pain. He didn’t get why.
He pressed his hand against Puzzles’s collarbone fully.
While Puzzles was in utterly diabolical pain, Mario got reminded of something. This energy he felt. He saw this before. Images flashed in his brain, remembering everything from the time they went out there… Outside of their universe. The anti meme energy. He thought he wouldn’t need to face this traumatic memory again but… Guess he was wrong. Things now started to make sense to him. Although he didn’t know how it was possible. He didn’t need to know that to see that it was.
He didn’t know what was driving his body but he pressed harder. With both of his hands now. Puzzles screaming didn’t deter him. When he tried to push him away, he sat on his arms, making him ultimately vulnerable to Mario. He didn’t know how to feel. He pushed and pushed until he could reach inside. It was nothing like he thought it would be. Puzzles was warm like a person but not quite of the same consistency. Until he felt something hard within him that didn’t quite fit inside. The memories he had now felt even more real. It sure made him struggle. Even he stopped for a second, especially how it added onto it. Making it more terrifying than it already was. Giving him images of a world where he lost 3 and 4 to a force way beyond him. That was scary to him.
He shook his head. He knew what he had to do. He pulled again. Pulled until what was inside Puzzles seemed to loosen from its place. Puzzles fainted by this point, probably from the unbearable pain. Even though he wasn’t quite human anymore, pain was still a weakness of his.
He finally pulled it out, black blood escaping Puzzles body as he did. Mario felt a little weird now… Did he just kill a man? He wasn’t sure.
He was now alone in the void, with the wretched fragment in his hand, echoing past nightmares in his ears.
His act settled in even more now as he pressed his hands against the wound, not really knowing what to do. It only soaked his hands even more. He desperately grasped into him, just trying to think of something, anything. He didn’t want to be left alone. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Puzzles but it’s much worse without him. That was something he knew for sure. He couldn’t lose him now, no matter what.
As he desperately grasped, light appeared, in the form of dim white strings, seemingly loosely closing up the wound. It wasn’t perfect but the bleeding was getting less intense. Mario didn’t know he could do that. He stared for a bit, not really knowing where to put it.
He sighed, not thinking about it further. He just didn’t want to up his kill count… And he didn’t want to be lonely himself either. He could always get so caught up being around people all the time that he forgot how it feels to be alone. And it wasn’t a good feeling. Though the bleeding stopping made him feel a bit better as he lied down, closing his eyes.
It felt like forever passed as he kind of just fell asleep beside Puzzles. Just because he had the weirdest moment of his life didn’t mean he couldn’t go to sleep with ease. He woke up to movement beside Puzzles as he was lightly clinging to him in his sleep.
“Huh… I’m… not dead yet?” Puzzles spoke, his voice was weak. He looked at Mario. He was finding a fondness he didn’t know he could have for someone.
“Nhggh… Nope… Mario fixed you up with his… white thing”
“Wh… White thing?” Puzzles was confused.
Mario pointed to his wound. The strings were still visible.
“Oh you… you saved me?”
Mario shrugged.
“Mario didn’t know he could do that”
Puzzles chuckled.
“Very well. Thank you though. I owe you”
Mario smiled at him.
“Well, getting us out of here would be great”
“Mhmm… I don’t know how to still” Puzzles frowned.
Mario patted him on the back.
“At least this thing is out of your body” he showed him the fragment.
“Oh- Oh right” he stared at it “What… is this again?”
“Mario’s not the best at explaining things. It is evil though”
“I do agree… it did kinda kill me there for a second” he chuckled
Mario chuckled too.
“You know, Mario… Isn’t this… weird?”
“What is?”
“I don’t feel like getting rid of you anymore”
“Well if you got rid of Mario the world would end so I’m glad” he grinned as if he didn’t just drop information on Puzzles that kinda escaped him before.
“The world would end?”
“You see, Mario is the avatar and if he gets killed for good, the world falls apart”
“A… Avatar?”
“I’ll ask SMG1 and 2 to drop the lore on you”
“Oookay” Puzzles was a bit confused but he could wait. He would wait all the time needed to have answers if he needed to. It wasn’t the first time waiting rewarded him. He knew patience made greatness.
“By the way…. Mario’s wondering how you’re feeling now?” he looked at him, feeling a bit bad.
“I feel… free in a way. Mind’s less foggy and all that. Thanks, Mario”
“Hehe, I saved the day!”
“I’m still in pain though” he looked away.
“Damn…”
He grabbed Mario’s hand gently.
“It’s probably just the fact that you opened my body without any anesthetics. Which you wouldn’t have been able to get anyways”
“Heh… Mario sees your point” Mario squeezed his hand then thought, as if the brain cells in his empty head decided to align so well this time, he could have a genius idea “I’ve got an idea, Mr TV, but you have to listen to my instructions”
It had been a bit since last night 1, 2, 3, 4 and Saiko talked. Everyone was awake, preparing for their mission. Although 3 and 4 were a bit sore from the couch. It really wasn’t made for sleeping.
“So…what’s the plan?” 2 asked.
“Well uh…” 4 thought for a bit.
3 took a bomb out of his pocket.
“Can I?” he asked with a silly little smile.
“No” 4 said bluntly. He didn’t give a shit.
3 sulked a bit.
“Well, we know it has to do with the Godbox so… we have to go in, prepared to fight it”
“I guess the best we can do is go in and hope?” 4 sounded unsure of himself.
“Get yourself together, 4. I know you can be a coward but now is not the time” Saiko commented, making everyone look “Now is not the time to question your power to stop this, our friends are on the line here… Melony” the last part from her was rather quiet. She always tried to look out for her when she could so knowing this happened right under her nose filled her with a different kind of fury.
“I say we go in and kick ass” she finished her statement.
“Kicking TV ass does sound good” 3 added with a sly smirk on his face.
“Let’s get going then, shall we?” 1 said as he then led everyone out
It was quite the trip. Almost felt like a little road trip. 3 and 4 fell asleep along it, considering they didn’t exactly get the best sleep then.
Saiko was beside them, kind of trying to ignore them. She might have been a bit jealous. She wasn’t able to see any of the girls for a while now. Kind of hard to live like her, standoffish yet lover of touch.
She slowly got used to it.
“Oh, they fell asleep?” 2 looked back, while 1 was driving.
“Yeah… I guess they didn’t sleep well last night?”
“Probably the couch being uncomfortable to sleep on” 2 rubbed his chin, as if he was thinking strongly about it.
“If it was anything else I’m kicking their asses, I’ll tell you that” 1 added on quietly. 2 giggled while Saiko facepalmed.
They got there, to the wretched studio, which was covered in black goop. Not fully but there was definitely a place where there was a lot more.
#smg4#nicc's-fics#smg34#saikony (it's there I promise)#marware that feels SO gay but can be read in a platonic way if you try to#so much platonic mar4 you're gonna go insane
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so, I'm hunting for an apartment-share for the first time...ever, really. when I moved to Boston, it was with a group of friends intent on renting together, and the apartment where the fire happened was a Friend At Dance Class Had A Room Open In Her Place situation. and I'm noticing a distressing trend
is anyone else just...perturbed by the idea of a landlord renting out individual rooms in an apartment?
not like a houseshare in general. I mean a situation where everything is done through the landlord, with minimal contact with the other actual tenants. landlord lists the place, landlord vets new tenants, lease is signed potentially without meeting the other people you're going to share a not-overly-large living space with, at all
obviously rooming-houses- where individual rooms are rented in just that way -have existed for ages. but that's a house. I'm lucky to live in a city where larger, two-floor apartments are extremely common, but you're still sharing Less Than A Full House of space with total strangers. the landlord's concerns are pretty bare-bones here- basically just Will They Pay Rent On Time? and Are They Not An Axe Murderer, Probably (Because That Would Lower Property Values)?
I've lived in such a situation for a year now, and it's been fine, but in many ways I don't feel empowered to decide anything with my housemates in the very space we all pay to inhabit. I didn't know them when I moved in- had never even SEEN any of them before, when you come down to it. it's a very weird way to live; I'm not fond of it
and why are the landlords taking over what, it seems to me, should be the housemates' job? do they insist on doing it themselves? in what other ways do they usurp the creation of a functioning household in the unit? landlords can't exactly decide chore-dividing or facilitate a conversation about that bare-assed painting in the living room that only one person likes. do the housemates not know each other well enough to have these conversations, even after they move in?
to be sure, I'm not much of a We Must All Be Besties, Mandatory Weekly House Dinners type. I let housemate relationships develop organically, and if we're only ever polite acquaintances, so be it
but I like my community just a bit more intentional than "this person making money off of us threw us together and we've never met," personally
#apartments#housing#roommates#housemates#landlords#I'm not saying I'd never move into another situation like this again- though I'm NOT loving Landlord In Unit -but. it's Weird to me#the natural way of things is to chat with an Emissary of the House and then do the Ceremonial Call With Everyone Who Is Staying#and then the ritual of the House Showing#I've been on the housemate-seeking end of this several times. I know the Order of Business
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The problem is that even if it's supposed to be bittersweet and the message is that they can't save everyone, there are other factors in this story that make it look weird. All of AFO's major victims end up dying. Tomura being saved spiritually but not physically, becoming a martyr and "inspiring" the future generation of heroes is Tomura becoming another Yoichi. The story doesn't need another Yoichi, we already have one. If we're supposedly breaking the cycle here, wouldn't it make more sense for this "Yoichi" to actually escape AFO in full?
I do want to combine these two, because the problem is you're saying I'm implying all this stuff that I am literally on the record disagreeing with.
1. I didn't say the message IS they can't save everyone, I said that Izuku and All Might both acknowledge they can't save everyone. That's a big distinction. This is about Izuku's and All Might's sense of dissatisfaction and the solutions they come up with for this problem. What do you do WHEN you can't save everyone? That doesn't mean Tomura won't be saved. Hell, the story already posited that his heart was saved. The question is whether or not his life will be saved, and as I've said, any answer to that question can lead to an interesting outcome depending on how it's handled.
2. It is not true all of AFO's major victims die. Touya and Overhaul are alive. Himiko Toga, Spinner, and Kurogiri's statuses are currently unknown. Depending on how you wanna define "major victim," Izuku and Katsuki and All Might and Endeavor and Aoyama all survive, too. You're just talking about the vestiges (who were always dead characters) and the Shimura family.
3. I disagree that Tomura is a martyr. Just because his life inspired people doesn't make his death martyrdom. If Tomura's death sticks, he didn't die for what he believes in or to make a point or to stay true to himself. He didn't kill himself. His body was already crumbling, and AFO was about to abandon it to turn to dust. Whether or not Tomura changed his beliefs or identity in some way would have had no impact on whether or not he still would have died. He just showed up at the end to exact vengeance on AFO for what was done to him, despite the fact that they were both on their way out anyway. The only control Tomura had over his death was whether or not he'd do anything before it happened, and he did. That's a testament to his character and how he would behave in the face of death, but it's not the same thing as being a martyr. I bring this up because you're throwing a lot of assumptions about the story around as if you and I are on the same page. If anything, I've noticed I disagree with so many people on what Tomura's death even entailed, let alone the meaning behind it.
4. You have to understand, your talk about "the story doesn't need another Yoichi" and "breaking the cycle" is your reading. I never talked about breaking any cycle here. You're assuming that's the point, but I don't know if that's the point. There are many cycles that are still quite preserved in the story. Why wouldn't we need another Yoichi if another Yoichi just refers to a person who pays it forward? A person who believes in others and entrusts their legacy and dreams to them without forcing that other person to BECOME them? The story has never criticized characters for being inspiring, not even All Might. This leads into my next point.
5. I am so vocally on the record even just recently as saying I do not believe the theme is simply "this generation is better than the old one." I do not agree with the implication that Izuku getting out of All Might's shadow means his admiration is bad or part of a cycle that needs to be broken. "You're next" was a detriment to Izuku because Izuku took it as a message meant only for him when in fact it really was a message for everyone. Izuku took away a message that he should separate himself from others, but the true message was that everyone should come together. Everyone includes the old generation. The new generation is taking what the old generation gave them and improving on it with their own ideas and feelings, but they're not breaking what the old generation made. They are continuing the struggle in trying to make things better with each generation knowing that they will never see the completion of the thing they strive for. This is the natural cycle of human social struggle, and it is a struggle that will continue forever.
I'm not saying the ending as we have it now is good--because it's not even complete. I'm saying that there are things Horikoshi is consistent about, and there is POTENTIAL for Tomura's death to work well. I'm not saying Tomura is going to stay dead. The point I'm really getting at is that we can receive messages from stories all we like, but that doesn't make them the intended ones, ESPECIALLY when the story in question is not yet finished. If the Japanese readership is getting an entirely different feeling out of what's happened, it stands to reason that there are some cultural context points the western fandom is missing. I am open to the messages I read being incorrect, and I have revised my criticisms each time it has happened. I am open to learning whatever message Horikoshi has in store, no matter the outcome. And I am interested in understanding it as best I can even if my understanding is limited by my not being the intended audience. There is a lot I could be missing that I still need to learn, and it would be arrogant of me to presume I understand everything about this story's presentation the first time through. That makes it worthwhile for me to see what has remained consistent with my reading and what has not.
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How do you think this Adam who has memories of death and suffering love and just his long life and after life would deal with the fact that in Eden Death and all these bad things aren't even a thing yet. This Lucifer and Lilith haven't done anything to hurt him yet(aside from lying and sleeping together and avoiding him but now they love him and want him so thats fixed).
They think he is their sweet naive Adam but I wonder if part of him will be frusterated because he sort of ISN'T. would he ever snap at all this affection they want to give him because he can't understand why NOW? want to lash out and make them hurt because when they didn't notice 'Their' sweet adam was replaced? like dude is agrown as man and technically older in experience than these two..had a bunch of kids..went through alot of stuff..death twice even.
lucifer punching him over and over in that final battle despite giving into mercy thanks to charlie..would he wonder if the entire universe was reset? did everything he experience just.... not happen? was it just a vision of the potential future? a bad dream? does he think this is some elaborate punishment like heaven likes to give him and his loved ones when they get prideful or not obedient?
Would he ever miss the versions of lilith and lucifer he knew from the timeline he experienced despite the hurt and pain just because they would be comfortable in their familiarity?
its really interesting because Lilith and lucifer seem the ones more in control with a plan while they believe adam is acting odd and they want to know why but they basically still see them as their normal Adam.
while WE know the balance is a bit different because Adam has knowledge and has known them longer it seems cuz of the memories....
like when Adam fell from the tree it startled them both but i wonder if adam will have moments of being scared or on edge because he remembered when death and actual pain and hurt was a thing while lilith and lucifer might not notice/realize because those havent been invented yet.
considering lucifer is a angel...would he try to look a bit more into why adam's behaviour has changed?
like it seems they think its just adam realized that Lilith was sneaking away to be around lucifer and that adam and lonely and upset they'd lie and that he might have picked up on the distance....which could explain his behaviour....but WE know Adam's change is rooted a bit more deeply than that...will they notice more behaviour changes that don't quite line up with things?
I wonder if adam would ever kind of treat them like kids since these are younger versions of the people he knows? even if he's now in his younger body and technically the same age as lilith his mind/memories are older?
if adam is particularly talented at sex stuff...would lilith and lucifer wonder how he got that good without them realizing?
would adam ever have flashes of feelings like shame of his body or of being naked while lucifer and lilith pick up something wrong bt they won't have the context since shame was a punishment that hasn't been given yet?
and he can't really address it because he is trying not to be caught?
would they even believe him if he came clean about his memories? or is it his best bat to make sure no one has to suffer from the sins and free will? like before lilth seemed bothered about adam just doing as he was told and how it felt like he was going through the motions and just accepting everything at face value so she let herself doubt his ability to choose...but considering this adam know exactly what happens when they break the rules and can be an educated decision...would adam have more conviction in his choice about following the rules now that Lilith would notice or would lucifer and lilith be bias and think they know best and that adam is just being too cautious?
considering lucifer in now both their lovers(i guess) does that mean lucifer won't get in trouble now or would they want Adam to keep it a secret from the other angels?
Is adam startled at the sensitivity of his body even if his mind remembering being used to it?
I wonder if Lucifer and Lilith will catch on that Adam likes touch since Lilith seemed aware that Adam seems to like to cling and be close like the monkeys even if he tried to distance himself? would they start reaching out and touching and holding Adam first more?
i wonder if Adam will do more stuff for music to be made and stuff?
would Adam try working out to get stronger just in case he ever gets kicked out of Eden again?
dude wants to be upset at them so much but these versions are so sweet and feel so young vs the ones he knew and haven't done the worst yet. I wonder if he ever notices aspects the versions HE knows in his normal timeline now that he's comparing them to more naive honest versions of themselves...like they think they are so sneaky but is it kindof cute compared to their future versions? does he notice lucifer looks sincerely happy here and aspects compared to the more bravado version who was smug and kicked his ass but who was definitely also depressed? how lucifer likes creating things and was so gentle now but in that future needed someone else to snap him out of his rage....(though to be fair adam can probably understand a fathers protective rage). would adam compare this lilith to the one he made a deal with in the regular timelines? would lilith have a front to? but be more aware this lilith isn't really doing stuff for long planning just yet.
I wonder if Adam will also notice aspects like how this lucifer is treated by heaven or get lilith to actually tell him why she'd lie instead of hashing it out properly since dude WAS a father so probably could realize people don't react the way they do out of nowhere.
Does this Adam ever reflect on how he reacted to get where he was in the final battle before he was stabbed?
though I guess he never really knew why he was in heaven anyway so randomly getting thrown into the past wouldn't be the weirdness thing over all he's done. I wonder if he'll ever think about how he's killed people and seen people die and how this lucifer and lilith have no idea about that aspect and how scary it can be...hmmm.
will the other angels catch on that something is up?
Okay, so a lot to unpack from the Theirs au of yandere!Lucifer/Adam/yandere!Lilith. Read that if you don't want spoilers.
Okay, so Adam would definitely have some points where he does feel overwhelmed by it all. He has experienced more and it's hard to forget all that. He's going to sometimes think if what he experienced was even real...then why was it so vivid? He will even panic when something reminds him too much of his past...or is future? Adam isn't so sure....best not to think about it too hard.
Adam is definitely going to fight their love (read:obsession) and he's going to try to avoid them as best as can. He lasted a week before Lucifer found him in a cave. (Theirs! Part 2). Adam also learns what happens to angels, or humans, when they try to fight their love. Heaven has it's own set of punishment...
Adam wouldn't treat them like kids because they don't look like kids. They don't act like kids and they all have had sex so it would be weird for him to think of them as kids.
He would be conflicted about the *other* versions of Lucifer and Lilith....he doesn't want to think about that. It hurts too much.
Lucifer and Lilith think that they know better and they will delude themselves into thinking Adam will need them. (I'm headcanoning that they gain Knowledge by themselves before even attempting to eat the fruit.) He will try to fight them, but being constantly told that he needs them, being held against his will, and having sex with them until he's brought to sub space, well, it's a bit hard to fight them. He eventually will succumb to their will.
Adam was...okay at sex. But, despite Lilith being relatively new to it and Lucifer showing them all what he learned in Heaven, Adam still feels inexperienced simply because Lilith and Lucifer are *better* at sex than he is. You can have all the knowledge but if you can't implement it, then it's useless.
Lucifer will want Adam to keep their relationship a secret, the other angels would get furious if they knew that he had defiled the first man and woman of humanity.
He will have times of body shame, but Lucifer and Lilith are quick to assure him and love him and hug him until he stops saying them.
They catch it early on that Adam is touch starved, but will fight them, so they hold him against his will until he's calmed down and is docile. (They wait until he stops fighting and gives up due to exhaustion.)
Lucifer and Lilith want to do everything for Asam so they do. Adam doesn't need to work out or do anything too strenuous because they will do it for him.
And, well, they can be sweet to Adam. But they are *very* possessive of Adam. They won't tolerate anyone touching or being with Adam. They will get rid of anyone who thinks they can touch what is theirs. Be it some cherub or a new human that could pop up...they will eliminate the competition. Without Adam's knowledge of course. No need to upset him. (Part 5 of Theirs)
If anyone ever catches on to what they're doing, they will all be thrown out of Eden. Possibly Hell. Lucifer and Lilith won't care as long as they have Adam. Adam will be depressed for a while, but he isn't alone so *eventually* he gets...sort of better.
They will have fronts that they keep in front of Adam. They will try to hide their darker nature that keeps reeling their ugly heads. Adam will eventually see through it, but even now, he still thinks they are...well, weird and touchy and don't listen but he doesn't think of capable of anything truly nefarious.
Not yet anyway...
#hazbin hotel#adamsapple#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel lucifer#send asks#Lucifer/Adam/Lilith#yandere lucifer#yandere lilith#Yandere Eden au
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Hi! I have some technical questions about VC's vampires If you don't mind me asking and if Rice ever explained.
I was wondering ,
- do vampires stay with their fledgings or even know what's happening in their lives,where they are etc..?
-is there a hierachy among vampires? When are you no longer considered a young vampire? 100 years? 200?
- is there a place where they can all live together without humans?
- I know Lestat says that one should not interfere in human affairs but are there mortals with whom they often have interactions, friendships...?
Thank you for giving your time to all of us, sometimes with annoying questions.
Hey!
So. No, there is no "obligation" for makers to stay with them, it depends heavily on why they're made. Lestat for example is abandoned right away because Magnus throws himself into a fire, he simply wanted an heir. Lestat made Louis because he fell in love, and therefore stayed with him. Lestat makes Mona a vampire for someone else. And so on. (Just a few examples.) It depends heavily on the how and why fledglings are made, and through which emotion. But there is no general rule.
No, there is no hierarchy, other than the one developed through power. That said, there is the "first", Akasha, who is called "Queen of the Damned", but her reign is more built on the... lore reason and her being the first. (The show will still get to that.)
I think it is never quite said when a vampire is still "young"... I guess that depends heavily on who says that to whom. There are vampires who are several thousand years old. It depends. Generally speaking anything older than 200 is probably not "young" anymore, because many young kill themselves because they cannot stand the rite of passage.
No, these vampires do not live with humans, nor do they aspire to, not really. Humans are food. Closest would be "Night Island" or the theater, actually, but even there the vampires... are living more in parallel than "with humans". Lestat lived with Louis and Claudia as a family for a while, and others do that, too, like Marius, but they mingle more than join the humans, and since they do not age... and, as said - humans are food.
No, there are no "friends" over decades or anything. Lestat befriends David Talbot, it ends in David getting turned. Armand befriends Daniel (and falls in love) it ends with Daniel getting turned. And so on. The mortals that mean something to them end up getting turned, the rest... "Dalliances" exist, obviously. Acquaintances. A few years, here and there (and yes, Antoinette is a "few years" and then getting turned, too). Occasional interests. And law firms. But other than that? No.
This... isn't the Vampire Diaries. Or True Blood. These vampires are not looking for a cure, not really. They are monsters, and they will stay monsters.
It's not about them finding their humanity... it's about them accepting themselves as the monsters they are.
#Anonymous#ask nalyra#amc iwtv#iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire#the vampire chronicles#vc#vampire chronicles
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Alright, so this is a reply to @my-jokes-are-my-armour brilliant additions to my post, because the original one was getting insanely long, and apparently I had lots of feels about this, but asfoljasdfklsf;asldkfas;flkjasdlkjffslksjdf;s...
That "maybe"...
There are so many possible "layers" to that "maybe"!
And that's definitely one the places where Jaskier and Radovid's respective situations massively differ in that scene, too, IMHO.
Like you've said, Jaskier has a found family that he's spent about 20+ years investing in.
So, obviously, it would make absolutely no sense for him to sacrifice the ties he's already built with Geralt, Yennefer, and Ciri, for a relationship that does have great potential, but is still in its infancy; whereas Radovid has made no such personal commitments in his life.
I don't know if you're familiar with the YouTube channel "Cinema Therapy" (basically, a psychologist and filmmaker analysing various movie relationships, characters psychology, etc. I highly recommend it!), but they've occasionally spoken about the notion of "shelving your agenda".
Essentially, "shelving your agenda" relates to a person's ability to "temporarily delay one's own needs to meet those of another".
And, in this particular situation, the only one of them that can afford to shelve his own agenda for the other is Radovid.
Because, at that moment, Jaskier is facing the possibility of devastating potential losses within his family system that greatly threaten his emotional and psychological well-being.
Radovid can (or at least could, while Vizimir was the one still wearing that crown) afford to be the one providing him with emotional, physical and financial support to give Jaskier his best chance at being reunited with those he loves.
But Jaskier can't really promise or offer Radovid anything in return for the time being.
And sadly, he doesn't know how bad things are for Radovid at court, either.
He doesn't know that Philippa and Dijkstra orchestrated Queen Hedwig's murder, right under King Vizimir's nose, with such confidence in their ability to get away with it that they openly told the Crown Prince of Redania about it!
He doesn't know about Radovid's relationship dynamic with his brother, and the fact that being the King's little brother is no longer enough to keep Radovid safe in that castle.
And I don't think Jaskier fully grasps just how much being in his presence is already offering Radovid something that's rather essential for his own emotional and psychological well-being, too, that he has never been able to find anywhere else.
Jaskier: "You don't understand. [This is not me trying to walk away from a relationship with you.] The war brewing outside is nothing compared to what Geralt will unleash on this Continent to find his daughter. [I'm pretty much planning to go throw myself headfirst into some desperate suicide mission with a stubborn, insanely protective Witcher dad!] I don't know what happens next. [I've no idea what will happen to me. Out there, none of us will be safe!]"
Radovid: [Oh boy! Where do I even start?] "Just let me be there with you." [Trust me, as terrible as you are trying to make it sound, joining you on a suicide mission following an angry overprotective Witcher around is actually my safest, least bad option.] "Prove that I'm more than a mask." [I belong with you and your family out there, not stuck at court playing games!]
Basically, I've a feeling that Jaskier might be operating under the belief that the safest place for the Crown Prince of Redania to be, in times of war with Nilfgaard, is behind the well guarded walls of a castle; not running around the Continent helping him and Geralt go rescue a Princess!
If he returns to Tretogor and stay there, Radovid will have an entire army standing between him and Nilfgaard!
Which, you know, is pretty much the reason that had convinced him that Ciri might be better off in Redania rather than anywhere else...
If he comes with him, well, Radovid is probably one of the last people you'd want anyone loyal to Nilfgaard to get their hands on.
The King's brother - and sole current living heir to the throne (at the time) - is very much someone that Redania's enemies would want to capture so they can use as leverage against the King.
And Jaskier's pretty much planning on being Geralt's ride or die companion on his quest to find Ciri.
So, I'm not sure how comfortable Jaskier is with the possibility of Radovid getting himself captured by enemies or killed trying to help them out there; or, even worse, winding up sacrificing his life to save Jaskier's.
Because Radovid has already proven that he values Jaskier's safety and freedom above his own, when he ditched his whole (now very dead) royal security detail to go see him and Ciri at the cabin.
Radovid is willing to make Jaskier his #1 priority, in a situation where Jaskier needs to make Geralt, Yennefer and Ciri his own #1 priority.
Jaskier is planning to "shelve his agenda" for his family, to the point of being willing to risk sacrificing his life for them…
…while Radovid is talking about "shelving his agenda" for Jaskier, while being willing to risk sacrificing his life for him, and - by extension - Jaskier's family, too.
It's likely a lot for Jaskier to take in.
And, perhaps, knowing that Radovid - at least - would be safe back in his castle, would give Jaskier some peace of mind, and even something for him to fight to come back to, should he somehow succeed in helping Geralt get Ciri back without managing to get himself killed in the process!
So, Jaskier's "maybe" is likely the most sincere answer Jaskier can give him at the moment, since Jaskier genuinely doesn't know what happens next, and he probably doesn't want Radovid to make the decision to take such a huge risk for himself and his family based on the promise of things that he might never be given the chance to offer him.
Had Jaskier known that the greatest threat Radovid was facing could be found within his castle's well guarded walls, his response to Radovid's desire to be there with him might have been different.
Perhaps he might have said something along the lines of "Forget about the money, and if you really want to come with me, come with me now! We'll think of a way to let your brother know you're relatively safe, and haven't been killed or kidnapped while we're on the road!", or something.
And then, hope his own family would understand why he chose to take Radovid with him, and for them hopefully to not be upset that he's just managed to make their whole situation even more complicated than it already was.
[Poor Geralt though…
Geralt: Let me get this straight… Of all the people on the Continent you could have romantically fallen for, you somehow managed to pick the Crown Prince of Redania? And now, the prince - who comes from a bad home that has been mistreating him - has been following you outside his castle, and you're asking if we can adopt and keep him?
Jaskier: *Smiles sheepishly and attempts to look adorable.* Yes?
Geralt: *Mumbling to himself.* Why does Destiny fucking hate me so much? How many princes and princesses am I supposed to be looking after? I'm a Witcher, for fuck's sake! I'm supposed to be killing monsters! Not opening a royal rescue shelter…
Radovid: *Concerned.* Ah, is your Witcher okay?
Jaskier: Just give him a moment to have a mental breakdown, and he'll be fine!]
But Jaskier doesn't know how bad things are for Radovid back at Tretogor.
Actually, even Radovid himself doesn't fully know!
As far as Radovid is concerned, Dijkstra briefly perceived him as a threat - or at least a nuisance - with regards to the complete and absolute influence he has on King Vizimir, and threatened to have him killed if he gets in their way.
So, by leaving, he'd technically be doing him a favor! No more "baby prince brother" royalsitting for Dijkstra and Philippa! They can go back to the way they've always preferred doing things, without having Radovid to deal with!
But Radovid doesn't know his brother has decided to let Philippa take the fall for Thanedd, and that the best solution the sorceress came up with, to deal with the issue, is "Yup! Imma get rid of Vizimir and put that spare on the throne!"
On a scale of 0 to "the spymasters are so confident they can get away with regicide that they feel totally comfortable making the guy they gleefully confessed Queen Hedwig's murder to King", just how fucking screwed are you?
I don't think Radovid had fully realised he'd reached that very last stage yet.
But yeah, Jaskier answering "maybe" made much more sense, to me, than him going "yes please, come with me, where I'll almost certainly manage to get you and/or myself killed in a desperate attempt to keep my family safe!"
And I love how long he hesitates before giving that answer, and the way his thoughts really appear to be racing, even after he says "maybe", because it is an incredibly complex and multi-factorial situation for him to deal with.
Whereas Radovid has essentially two choices:
Return to a loveless, toxic, dangerous place where he's totally disconnected from himself, and isolated from healthy human interactions.
Be out there in the world, risking his life for something - someone - that's worth taking those risks for, thus acting in accordance with who he is, and what matters to him the most.
So, Radovid basically saying "I'm all in! Let's go!", while Jaskier is saying "maybe", to me, might have more to do with how well they are both ready to handle and accept the potential consequences of Radovid choosing to go with Jaskier at that moment; than it has to do with how much they both desire to have the chance to potentially be together, or even Jaskier struggling with forgiving him.
Of course, there's also Jaskier's own personal fears (of abandonment, of falling back into unhealthy codependent patterns, etc.) that may play a role in him hesitating to treat his feelings for Radovid as a full-fledged partnership right away, and being comfortable with the idea of trusting Radovid enough to rely on him for support, too (trust and forgiveness are not quite the same thing).
That "maybe" is filled with so much potential delicious meanings, I'm telling you!
And, given that being told "maybe" didn't deter Radovid from wanting to go to Jaskier, I've a feeling that Radovid knew that Jaskier's "maybe" was also filled with a lot of hope and yearning, and as close to a "yes" as Jaskier could afford to offer him.
After all, he'd already told Radovid that his plans [of breaking things off between them] had changed.
When Radovid said "I don't get it", Jaskier could have answered him with: "it's the right thing to do", or "I may no longer want to see you, that doesn't mean I wish you to get hurt, Radovid", or "I owe you for having ditched - and now lost - your guards when you came to see me. This is me doing what I can do to pay back the favor."
But Jaskier said "plans change", with some of the most cautiously hopeful and vulnerable puppy dog eyes I've ever seen him throw at anyone.
To me, there was a sense of forgiveness and a bit of an apology, even, in Jaskier's expression at that moment…
Because the fact remains that Jaskier didn't offer Radovid his help, the night before, when he told him he was scared; resulting in Jaskier having allowed Radovid to back himself into that corner where people might say and do stupid things.
It would be a bit unfair for Jaskier to be upset with Radovid for not having trusted him with everything he knew when he came to see him and Ciri, when Jaskier himself was so scared to trust Radovid that he didn't call him out for having avoided to directly answer his question, and instead chose to test what he'd do with the information that the forcefield only lasted 'til dawn.
He's accusing Radovid of not fully trusting him and having kept his full intentions from him, when Jaskier himself literally set up a trap for him, because he was too scared to trust him…
And Radovid had the honesty of saying "I'm scared, Jaskier", at the very least. Whereas Jaskier kept his own fears to himself, and chose to play games and test him.
Granted, Radovid could have pretended to be scared to get Jaskier to lower his defenses, and manipulate him. I'm not saying that Jaskier didn't have very valid reasons for choosing to test him, rather than opting for a direct confrontation.
Trust eventually does become essential in a relationship, but it would be unrealistic to expect it to "magically be there" until both sides have experienced how the other responds in a variety of situations - including their ability to make each other still feel safe while they handle conflicts and mistakes.
So, I'm not pointing out Jaskier's own contribution to this whole mess while trying to determine who is to blame, who was wrong, or who hurt the other the most.
Just hoping that, maybe, Jaskier is allowing himself to recognize that they are both very flawed, complex and human individuals that never meant to hurt each other at that moment.
That part of the reasons why he sits down and looks at Radovid with such a sad, defeated expression, is that he's realizing that they were simply dealing and coping with their own respective fears and doubts as best they could back at the cabin, and got both a good, strong bite in the arse as a result!
When Radovid ran away from the cabin earlier, Jaskier made a little move as if instinctively wanting to run after him.
I think that, maybe, in all of the ways Jaskier might have expected their confrontation to go when "catching Radovid in the act" that morning, he might have imagined facing more outrage from Radovid, more fight…
He might have expected for him to start blaming him in return, etc.
Because, had Radovid indeed been a "knife" and wearing a mask with Jaskier, he might have played "meek" and attempted to "reason with" Jaskier in the beginning in a desperate last ditch attempt to hold onto his mask, sure!
But, when he'd realised it didn't work - and Jaskier would not be so easily fooled - the mask would eventually have had to come off!
Radovid could easily have pretended that he had only wanted to test if Jaskier was being sincere with him.
He could have claimed that he'd realised, the night before, that Jaskier had only let him know about when the forcefield would come down, because he'd never truly cared about him, nor trusted him!
And low and behold! He was right!
Radovid could have accused Jaskier of having been dishonest and manipulative with him, of only having ever pretended to care for him, so he could use him because of his wealth and position at court.
He could have mocked Jaskier for having claimed that "he had no desire" to be playing games with him through his song, only to then go on scheming against him, and setting up traps for him at the first opportunity he got!
A skilled "knife", caught in a lie, will not admit to any wrongdoing, and will make it sound like you're the villain, they're the victim, and the problem lies with you, not them.
But Radovid's response was being truthful in his answers, internalize Jaskier's blame, look like he'd just been kicked, utter a pitiful "I'm so sorry," and run away!
Unless you are someone that enjoy dominating other people and bringing them down (something I do not believe Jaskier does), there's no sense of triumph, or even validation to be derived from Radovid's response!
There's no sense of relief from "having escaped being fooled by such a manipulative and dangerous individual" to be found!
Radovid just took all the blame on himself, brokenly apologized for having managed to hurt and disappoint Jaskier, and ran away thinking he'd forever lost him.
Had Jaskier's priority not been to ensure Ciri's safety, I think he might have followed his impulse and gone after Radovid to attempt to get to the bottom of what was actually happening.
And, even should he have suspected that Radovid's behavior was yet another manipulation attempt - that Radovid would be patient enough to hold onto his mask a while longer while faking taking responsibility for his mistakes and hurting Jaskier…
There's absolutely no way Radovid could have predicted that Jaskier was going to come investigate the room he'd huddled himself into a dark corner to cry.
So, I like to think that Jaskier did regret his harsh words, the way he'd jumped to conclusions back at the cabin, and how he'd cut short Radovid's attempt to explain, as soon as he'd mentioned that he'd be out from under Dijkstra's thumb.
I like to think that Jaskier was sorry for the way he'd hurt Radovid, too, and that he realised that he'd let his own fears and issues get the best of him.
Now, it's up to them to decide if they'll allow their respective fears and issues to win; or instead let that deep, beautiful and delicate connection that they've been experiencing together come out on top.
So, since "the plan" was for Radovid to have seen the last of Jaskier…
I tend to interpret Jaskier saying "plans change" as a way of telling Radovid "I don't want this to be the last you see of me. If you'll still have me, when this is over, I'd like to come back to you."
With Radovid's immediate response being "Come with me, then."
Because Radovid does very much still want Jaskier.
Except Jaskier has a family he needs to go help first, before he can be free to go back to Radovid and continue to explore and deepen that relationship.
And OMFG, yes! Found families are a theme that I absolutely adore in virtually any form of media (perhaps because I had to leave my own family of origin behind to go find "my own tribe")…
By the way, do you have that season 3 review link nearby? I'm not sure if I had the chance to read it yet, or if it somehow managed to pass me by… But I'd be interested to have a first or second read at it!
Otherwise, I pretty much found myself just nodding along while reading your comments.
I definitely think that, the first time Radovid meets Jaskier, he's deeply intrigued by him and how he personally connects with his songs, but still a bit in a "playing games" mindframe, because that's just the way his world is, and has always been, and how people communicate.
And now, I'm amazed, because you've just made me realise that, when Jaskier came to see Radovid wanting to share intel with him, it could very much have made it look like he only cared about Radovid's position, wealth, and resources; rather than about Radovid himself!
In many ways, Jaskier is 100% aware that the Crown Prince of Redania "fancies him", and I think that, under normal circumstances, he wouldn't be above taking advantage of that attraction to help protect his family.
To be clear, I don't think Jaskier would ever look to manipulate the emotions of anyone that would be having sincere, non-entitled, and reciprocal feelings for him.
But a royal that would be looking to own, use, or control him? I think he'd be feeling perfectly justified using his own charms to get what he wants from them.
He tells Vespula "you can't play a player", therefore very much perceiving himself as "a player", in a sense.
And, given that nobles often have an inflated ego and sense of self-importance, "playing them" is typically not that hard to do.
But Radovid does not.
He is far from immune to Jaskier's charms, but he does not perceive him as a some type of potential "trophy lover" or conquest. He's genuinely curious about him, and wishes to better get to know and understand him.
In such a context, trust should normally go both ways.
Jaskier tells Philippa and Radovid that, if they get rid of Rience, they will have earned Ciri's, Geralt's, and his own trust (and he talks about winning his own trust while pointedly looking at Radovid)…
But what is Jaskier willing to do to earn Radovid's trust in return?
You've just made me realise that, while I often tend to remind myself that there is lot that the audience knows about Radovid that Jaskier himself doesn't…
Well, there is also a lot that the audience knows about Jaskier that Radovid himself simply doesn't, too.
Sure, Jaskier's initial response towards learning that Radovid was the Crown Prince of Redania was rather flattering and amusing, especially since it brought a certain balance to the way Radovid himself was slightly starstruck by Jaskier.
Rockstar meets royalty, basically… and forgets to let his hand go, much to royalty's delight!
But, once that initial moment has passed, does Jaskier still only sees Radovid as a prince - with all the privileges tied to his position that he could use for his own gain - or a person that's worth knowing, too?
We all assume that Jaskier's motives are honorable, because we know him, but Radovid only knows about Jaskier's songs and what little he's been able to pick up from him during two rather short encounters.
In that context, Jaskier showing up all "So, I hear you've got money! Maybe you could use it to get the two detectives to talk, and help Geralt and I find out who Rience is working for?" could actually be… borderline insulting?
Technically, it wouldn't, if Radovid was into such things as power and influence, wanted to find Ciri for himself rather than to please his brother, and Jaskier's suggestion was helping him get closer to something he really wished to get closer to besides the man standing right before him.
Again, Jaskier doesn't know that; so, there's a bit of an ongoing comedy of errors happening between these two this season.
And he doesn't know that Radovid doesn't actually have that much money "ready to be handed out" like that, either.
That Radovid would have to first sell some of his own belongings to pay for that intel.
Jaskier's basically prancing right into the palace while making a bunch of (albeit flirtatious) assumptions about Radovid - most of them kinda wrong / only half right - and it's really no wonder Radovid himself would be unwilling to "collaborate" with him so easily, admit to what he knows, and instead choose to initially continue to play dumb/drunk!
To be fair, most nobles would likely love to be reminded of their wealth, status and power, and go "Oh yeah, I've got money and I'm so important, uwu!"
They would likely welcome any opportunity to put it on display and use it to further seduce Jaskier! Normally, a prince should have favorably responded to Jaskier's innuendos...
Whereas Radovid's pretty much "Yes, yes, very interesting… Now, enough about me, let's talk about you! Here's your lute, may I humbly ask you to sing about what you prefer singing the most? Please?Maybe your white-haired Witcher? I really want to get to know you…"
And look, the fact that Jaskier got his crush to agree to help him because he was moved by his singing, cares about him, and has made it his personal mission in life to learn to better understand what makes him so special, must be so much more satisfying to Jaskier’s than it being because Radovid likes to display his wealth and feel influential and important!
I mean, look at that face...
He's just so pleased with the unexpected way things turned out...
#Jaskier#Radovid#Radskier#My Posts#My thoughts#Awesome other people's thoughts#Casually overthinking things!#Can't believe I'd never realised how Jaskier's initial attitude when he came to see Radovid could have disappointed the prince...#That spoon is such a spoon though!#He just... manages to get Jaskier to sing and things finally take off! Lol!
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furthermore going like okay not Sure of timeline things But. concerning bonus material Atlas's Actual Shirts deal
a) that bonus material is bonus material but this sure seems to fall into the [could be canon] &/or [basically is, but unseen within the main material b/c there's not really a place for it there] realms
b) both acknowledging the Marriage(tm) with a critical deconstructing lens huh. the girls & the gays. fucked up that someone might for example have an ongoing Gayce Moment (presumably aro as well, hardly irrelevantly) where their transactional associations must hinge on math, murder, etc
c) appreciating like okay mordecai would've lost everything but the clothes he was already wearing when he had to impromptu hightail it out of nyc, so that's when atlas must've given him his own clothes; this is Definitely Years Later (edit: definitely Months! Perhaps years! plausibly like a year or two! and apply that throughout the rest of this post)
d) when i) mordecai can surely have afforded to replace all the lended clothes & ii) his fumbling to argue the Practical Reasoning behind currently(!) wearing atlas's clothes still means it's Not for practical reasons. years later. while dodging & glaring at & competitive with & needling at atlas's wife. Oh You Know
e) and what a choice on atlas's part to give mordecai his own clothes. sure, that could've been the quickest way to give him Anything to wear (not now bloodstained, for instance) but buying new clothes would be like some possible Next Day shit, or, i dunno, asking around for Other people's secondhand clothes, both of which account for: this being several years prior to when this conversation could've happened, mordecai was how old when he met atlas? 16-18? 21 while we have it that:
this, after the fray at the lodge (noticing for the first time mordecai still has marks on his face from that here. it's been seventeen years Still noticing brand new things. like wick in volume one looking at a group photo in the café ft. the only characters known to us being mordecai, atlas, & viktor. what are you interested in about that hmm???) wherein, with the band on the stage, mitzi with a ukulele, & the dialogue suggesting as much amidst the context that atlas didn't really start being allied with marigold until after the lodge fray proper slaughter, atlas seems to be in the earliest stages of Meeting His Wife here. with his Ferocious Little Shadow. who i also note is looking Entirely Away even as prior i've simply interpreted this as Keeping An Eye Out &/or general disinterest in Anything going on at the speakeasies. competitive to near-homicidal relationship with atlas's ever-present wife....which, remembering what i was getting at in the first place. if atlas's shirts are noticeable big on mordecai at that point, surely all the more so originally. and he kept them! and kept wearing them! for Emotional Reasons Only Actually. goodness gracious.
f) where's the walking on sunshine mitzi & mordecai shopping montage? which did apparently happen, unless instead mordecai then rushed to get new bespoke shirts himself to avoid others Perceiving him judgmentally and the walking on sunshine montage specifically. she gives him a makeover (from buttonups to buttonups. whaddaya gonna do) she asks him for begrudgingly familial makeup touchups....she shares intimate exclusive secrets with him concerning my firm [they were both in on atlas's death, and so would atlas have to have been too] stance....Girl,
g) "atlas and i discussed that" what???? who???? when & why???? mitzi kicking her legs like so tell me about your Ferocious Little Gay Little Two Steps Ahead Shadow. did atlas volunteer mordecai's Entire Backstory as he knew it? did he provide it upon Request? did mitzi ask "why's ya boy wearing shirts that don't quite fit" and atlas goes "oh yeah that's because they're my shirts. i have noticed this without saying anything. for years" like imagine. what's going on around here
h) i forgot how i planned to work in this image of "i love this shot of & Look for mordecai." disheveled freshly wounded undershirt towel suspenders now as fashion accessories over pants Annoyed Sideeye & it Does help that elsa, real fave tertiary character, is here serving as well with the waist pants & putting her hair up & they're both always serving anyways. You Better Not Be Cunty Mordecai when i get over there to fish the shotgun pellets out of your body, Said No One!!!
anyways recap atlas giving mordecai his own shirts (at all genuine or All about trying to spam the [benefactor] key so mordecai sticks around & shoots people for him?) mordecai accepting and continuing to wear them for years until thwarted by atlas's wife whom he is Competitor with and now in one of those classic duos of "do we hate each other? well maybe, but also no of course not. we also share an understanding we can't have with anyone else. which is a secret about the same guy who neither of us wanted to die but were both involved in his death" mitzi Knowing things about mordecai, oh i know all about you wearing my husband's shirts years later, mordecai is at atlas's funeral nobody else we know but mitzi & asa are there obviously mitzi would have to know about this too like. transcendent. fluorescent. head in hands. happy pride
#still overlapping enough with my special little tag that's also really just about These Two; Lord by extension#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery#lackadaisy#we might ask if the most recent animated short has a slightly different timeline?#could be either a) mordecai is recuperating for longer &/or b) mitzi is around earlier. we also don't know that she's Married to atlas#by that point. i think the ''now that i'm here to stay'' remark in the comic implies she is. but could be Affianced for example#there's the Familiarity in the short that speaks to ''she didn't Just get here''#but a) still doubt they had the Longest courtship anyway & b) mitzi maybe also manages to get on friendly terms w/many ppl quickly#eta: okay thanks to input mordecai would have been wearing atlas's shirt for Months; perhaps about a year
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Idk how I feel about armys saying Hobi's streams are lower because of the fandom hating the rapline and others saying it's because of boycotters. Something about both narratives rub me the wrong way, as if both sides are trying to push narratives that don't truly really stand up.
You've said you don't focus on streams I think but you're still a rapline bias BPP. You still bias Hobi so you know about his streams. How do you reconcile how these narratives are?
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I don't think this is complicated. Hobi's numbers were lower because some ARMYs didn't stream his album. That's it. It's the same case for RM.
It doesn't mean the fandom "hates" the rapline or that boycotters are to blame (given they so far appear to be a small minority). It just confirms that the fandom has imploded and so there is less cohesion around music goals, and so ARMYs who just aren't the audience for that kind of music aren't going to stream it.
What I've observed is that the core fandom that also started with BTS, are hiphop-heads. They are fans who actually enjoy the grit, the experimentation, and the crudeness of hip hop, which is the bread and butter of the BTS rapline.
When we used to be a proper country, it was the fandom that worked to make much of that music more palatable for other parts of the fandom, by translating and spreading interesting nuances in their lyricism, by making cool edits and fan mixes, by hosting stream parties with fun playlists, etc. It gave the members a headstart in building an audience. It took cohesive initiative from the fandom, and now much of that cohesive initiative is either hibernating or gone. If BigHit actually knew what they were doing (which is dubious given what MHJ has shown about BigHit and HYBE), they'd take the headstart the fandom gave them and work to establish a more solid market/audience for the members as they matured.
But for that to happen, BigHit has to know how to actually market the members beyond k-pop, beyond mindless radio pop, to more specific audiences. And lol, well, I'm still waiting to see that happen. Just look at the difference in quality between the kind of collaborators the members themselves seek out to work with (Little Sims and Ryuichi Sakamoto) vs. what HYBE arranges for them (Kodak Black and Central Cee).
I'm not worried for RM though. I've never been the sort of fan to take personal stake in his accolades, rankings, or perceived success, but even then I can see he's still doing more than fine, all things considered. Could be have a better performance if more of the fandom was engaged or if BigHit marketed him more to an audience that would better appreciate his solo work? Of course, but I don't ascribe the reasons for that not happening to "hate" or whatever ARMYs think boycotters are doing.
If anything, I find the blame-shifting from ARMYs to boycotters a bit cringe. The fandom is split, people are distracted and most of the people here are more focused on fighting a war on Bang Sihyuk's behalf than actually focusing on BTS and taking time to appreciate their work. It's a bit pathetic, but not malicious and frankly, it's expected.
Stream Neuron and Right People Wrong Place.
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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I love my gx winx au and I love that it's just bits and pieces of me being like oh that's fun and not having any semblance of lore or plot. It's purely contained to the character designs I've drawn for the girls.
#it will stay contained to art too it's not something I'd ever write#like I know absolutely nothing about this au of mine but I'm obsessed with it all the same#like I learn something new about it every time I've drawn something#I don't draw a lot for it yall have seen everything I've done and it's usually just a drawing of alexis cuz I love her design lol#but like I'm doing panels for it rn right? and like it's just coming together like the story of what's happening atm#and that's like the only story there actually is rn but it's just falling into place#so I can actually make something of substamce out of this tiny concept I had for a drawing I wanted to try because I had an itch and it grew#that doesn't really happen to me anymore like I haven't felt a spark like that since I wrote OUAD#nothing I've written since has felt the same#and like I said this isn't something I would write into a fic or anything it would just be too much but it's really everything to me rn#something I can come back to and dip my toe in whenever I really feel like I need a spark again and it just makes me happy#I grew up with 4kids winx club so another reason I'd never write anything for real is because I refuse to watch any other version#like I've tried I just can't do it my mind rejects any other version so I only know the universe to a point anyway and but that was my thin#it made me so happy as a kid and it still does now like those are my girls and they mean the world to me and being able to play#within that space with other characters I'm obsessed with and combine into something that miraculously works is amazing#I need to draw more stuff for this au I guess is my whole point#I need to see what other things can..... bloom....... (heh) within that space and what will just manifest before me#I need that something to make me feel that spark again because I don't want to lose it forever and I think I'm starting to find it again#life has just been knocking down over and over lately and it's destroyed so much of my mental state and honestly randomly deciding to try#and actually draw actual stuff for this au has been so healing. I almost feel lighter#it feels stupid amd silly to say but it's true#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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oh so 1x22 really is exactly calculated to make me specifically go fucking feral huh
#im sorry i. jxkdkahyeiwiwkskshdhdjsj#i keep phrasing the start of a coherent post in my head and then getting sidetracked by absolutely fjcking losinf it over something else#jesus. jesus h christ on a motorized bicycle on main street. i was SPOILED for this i KNEW what had to happen and im still gojng BONKERS#what the FUCK#i need to watch like the last 20 minutes of this again right now what the fuuuucl#no actually what i need to do is go outsidr and run some fuckin laps or something but it is the middle of the night. woooargh#ugh. dean. crying wailing#the fact that. sam doesnt notice. he doesnt see anything wrong with john reassuring dean and telling him hes important. because he believes#what demon-john is saying is true.#but DEAN. knows damn well what his father thinks of him.#and then the demon confirms it. they don't need you like you need them. (dean in the motel breathes through sam shoving him up against the#wall says some days i feel like i can barely keep it together - you me dad it's all i've got - )#DEAN ONCE AGAIN THROWING HIMSELF BETWEEN JOHN AND SAM. POSSESSED JOHN OR NORMAL JOHN DEAN KNOWS HOW THIS GOES .#okay if i were to change one (1) thing about this episode i would have the demon pin dean to the ceiling when he nearly kills him. REALLY#lean into the dean mary parallels of it all#GOD. so we agree that sam held off from shooting the second time not because dean going sam no appealed to sam's conscience or anything like#that#sam knew damn well he and john agreed on one thing and that's they'd both die to kill this thing#but sam couldn't do that to dean. because dean's only got the two of them and losing either of them would destroy him#(no. says sam. glances into the rearview mirror at dean blood on his mouth gaze unfocused. not everything.)#natural soup
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today might be a lyric posting on main kinda day
#nightmare.personal#GF said she was excited to see me later and sent me a heart and a smiley emoji#and it's the PINK hearts which I think in her heart rankings I learned last May that's a good thing?#but maybe purple is better but like why would she make me the worse one compared to what she made my ex#that doesn't make any sense also did i mention that my ex's first kiss i think was with my current girlfriend#i feel like this is some ruse but i was the one who pitched the date so nothing bad is going to happen but i don't think she likes me?#like i don't think my girlfriend actually likes me because i haven't seen her in forever#like i didn't see her at ALL yesterday and i mean i had to mediate an argument with her and my other friend#and that was like a week ago and we definitely spoke after that but i think she still remembers#and i HAVE to look good today but it's really cold outside so i don't know how to impress her#because I don't know what traits about me that she actually LIKES and that's like so difficult?#because I don't know what i need to play up to get her to really like me she isn't giving me ANYTHING#does she think i'm attractive? does she think i'm smart? does she think i'm kind? like WHAT IS IT.#because if i don't KNOW then i have to just be me and that's not going to work!#dating is so fucking difficult what the hell i'm going to explode#maybe I do my makeup today OOH I COULD PAINT MY NAILS#maybe that iwll make me better#no but then i have to hide the nails from my mom God dammit.#oh and i can't listen to music because my brother wants me to change my spotify username!!!#so if he sees me listening! he'll know i haven't! but i also don't think he follows me?#i don't think i like my brother very much#i keep trying to decide if there's something wrong with me and honestly i'm not so sure i think there isn't#but the fact i said that will make you think there is so there's no point anyway
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