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#i'm not okay but like i'm not a danger to myself or anyone else around me
icypolargirl78 · 2 months
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kinda vent post??? ig. whatever, here be dragons under the cut
right so like i'm having emotions and i'm hating it overall
about six months ago a friend of mine got into a game. at the time i was very happy for them because it quickly became their special interest and they were super excited about it. then they got someone else into it and i was still very happy for the two of them. like yay! my friends got into something, good for them <3
after about 2-3 months of them basically playing this game nonstop and only really posting/talking about it my tune kind of changed. like i was still happy for them, but sitting in a call with them while they talked became really draining because like, i wasn't doing anything. i was just sitting there listening to something i didn't particularly care about. so i stopped hanging out with them as much. if i saw the game being streamed i didn't join call and i made it very clear to the both of them that it wasn't their fault, the game was just an ick for me but i was still happy that they were having fun with it.
this was in december and i stuck to my boundary of generally not interacting with these people if they were talking about the game or streaming it. and even then i sometimes broke that rule of it was late and i really wanted to hang out with people. i went from joining calls roughly 6-7 days out of the week to maybe only joining 3-4 days. not a significant change
then, roughly about a month ago, the person who originally got into the game stopped interacting with me almost completely. they wouldn't respond to most of my messages and on a few occasions my reacts on discord would straight up get deleted. i, being relatively ignorant in the methods of discord assumed that this was because discord is a little shit who glitches sometimes and didn't suspect anything was wrong. hell i even made a joke about it happening because i thought i was kinda funny
but i started to become anxious when my messages would get overlooked and they stopped talking to me as much. anxious to the point that for roughly 2 weeks straight i isolated myself because i was terrified that my friend hated me for not wanting to interact with one of their interests. i distinctly recall mentioning to them in january that i was sorry if my negativity regarding the game (which was mostly me just saying i didn't like the models and it wasn't for me) had hurt their feelings and they acknowledged and told me that they appreciated my apology.
fast forward to the end of march and i attempted to contact them via discord dms to figure out what was going on. and guess what, discord told me that i couldn't dm them. again i assumed that i had forgotten to friend them and they weren't accepting dms from anyone who wasn't a friend. i nervously asked them if they could friend request me because i wanted to send them something and they did. i did not send them my original message because they were having a good time and i really didn't want to ruin it by causing conflict.
then a week later i noticed that my reacts were getting deleted again and someone else reached out and told me that it was likely because the person had blocked me. needless to say i was confused because i've never blocked anyone on discord and i didn't know how it worked.
when i asked them about it on the server we're in together they didn't respond. they ignored my messages to the point that someone else literally asked if they could see my messages (and if you know what blocking someone on discord does, then yeah, you'd know they were ignoring my messages on purpose)
later that evening they dmed me and went on a very long tangent about how i had completely isolated myself from them and how my disliking of the game to the point of ignoring them was petty, childish, and generally very rude.
i responded with the fact that i had made it clear why i wasn't interacting and that i never meant to cause them harm. they said some rather rude things to me after that which i won't recount because they themself stated that they went too far in that encounter and we both agreed to talk a few days later when we had both cooled down
cut to roughly 2 days later and i had talked some stuff out with two other people. i had written up a 2 thousand word long google doc that contained my thoughts and feelings on the matter and i sent it to them.
they were on vacation by this point so i made it clear to them that they could take as much time as they needed to respond to my words. it's now been nearly 2 weeks as of writing this post and they chose to block me again.
i'm not even angry at this point. i'm just sad and disappointed that they didn't reach out to me sooner with their problems regarding my interactions with the game and their playing of it. like beyond discord we're also mutuals on the tumblr and they literally have my phone number in case of emergencies.
i find a bit of irony in the fact that they chose to call me petty and childish for setting a boundary regarding the game and how i didn't want to interact with it and yet decided to not speak to me about their feelings and chose to block, ignore, and then belittle me for having the audacity to not want to hear about the game or disliking it despite never having played it
like yeah sure is it a like irrational that i don't want to interact with the game to the point of feeling sick whenever i see it. maybe? but also i think it's even more irrational to call someone a bully for not wanting to like something you enjoy
and this isn't even the first time they've taken shit so personally. there have been several points in our friendship where i've expressed disliking of a lot of their interests, not bashing on them, just saying that they aren't beacons of virtue, and they've reached out about feeling bad when i say that stuff
and so i listened to them. i stopped talking about their interests because i know the feeling of having someone talk about something you enjoy in a negative way. it fucking sucks
the petty part of me does want to @ them in this post. just so they can see my experience but i don't want to start more trouble and honestly it's not even worth it at this point. they've had time to respond to me, they've had time to contact me about our friendship. and they've chosen not to.
i don't even feel angry anymore because what's the point? why should i waste my energy on someone who takes things i say so personally. i made it clear on so many occasions that they were not the problem, that it was the game that was making me uncomfortable and that it was nothing against them.
and they chose to block me over it. because god forbid one of your friends dislikes something you enjoy. god forbid someone not want to interact with a game or conversations and topics surrounding it. god forbid someone takes steps to not interact with the game and god forbid i make it clear that it's nothing again them in the slightest
and i wish so dearly that my brain would stop focusing on it. i shouldn't have to be terrified about making them even more upset when they haven't responded or talked to me in an emotionally mature way in nearly 2 weeks. it's not my fucking problem anymore. the ball is in their court and i just have to wait until they respond
it hurts every single time i see their messages on discord and when i go to react it gets deleted. reacts are probably my favourite way of messaging. just a simple heart or exclamation point tells me that someone saw my post. and i can't even react now so why even bother interacting at all. they have the power to just ignore me if they want to and i don't want to stoop to their level of petty immaturity by blocking them back (and also i get the feeling that me blocking them would only piss them off more because when they set a boundary it's okay but when i do the same thing it's somehow bad.)
they've had negative experiences with people bashing on their interests in the past but like at this point that's a shitty excuse for their behaviour. your trauma isn't a fucking tool to swing around as a shield for your shitty behaviour. guess what asshole, i have trauma too. i over explain and people please because i'm terrified of my friends leaving me behind and i'm not using it to call other people names or tell them their emotions are childish
i hope they have a fun time on their vacation, i genuinely do. but i also hope they don't expect me to bend over backwards and expose myself to something that makes me sick to my stomach just to please them. if their ego is so fragile that they can't handle me disliking their special interest, then that's on them. not me.
friends aren't echo chambers for your beliefs and if your friends get upset at you for not liking something they enjoy, that's their problem not yours.
i have been assured by several people that i'm allowed to be angry and that i'm not in the wrong within this situation. but it doesn't get rid of the emotions that come from knowing that someone i considered a dear and close friend preferred blocking me and cutting me out of their life for weeks instead of just talking to me about how my isolation from the game they were playing was hurting them
that in it of itself is something that makes me want to stop talking with them entirely. but i'm going to wait and see what they have to say in response to me. because i still do care about them.
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againstacecilia · 6 months
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Because You Left
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Pairing: Poe Dameron x gn!reader
Word Count: 1.7k
Rating: This one's for anybody, but the whole blog is 18+ for sure.
Warnings: Lovers to strangers, fighting, angst, swearing, both of them are probably idiots but *shrug*
A/N: Holy wow it's been a minute! I've had this one in the vault for a while but just never did anything with it. There's a happy ending as well, so I can post that if there's interest, but I'm pushing myself to not tie everything up so nicely and let the tough emotions sit so you get ✨angst✨. We also don't need to talk about how I'm working through some things about an old flame with this one soooo hush. Unbeta'd, no use of y/n.
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It’s an unusually quiet night on base, lamplight flickering through the hallways and muffled laughter sneaking under doors as people take advantage of the stillness. Your footsteps echo loudly, an intrusion in the calm as you hurry to your post, breathless by the time you arrive.
“Sorry I’m late,” you begin, not looking at your watch partner, “I couldn’t find-”
“Not like you to be late, Captain,” a familiar voice interrupts.
Your stomach flops as you meet Poe’s gaze. “I… I’m sorry, Commander.” Your words falter, the memory of your last encounter momentarily clouding your mind…
“Find somewhere else to sleep tonight,” Poe says quietly at the door, not looking at you, “I’m busy.”
“Of course you are. Seems like you’ve been busy a lot these days. Busy with everything but finding time for me.”
Poe doesn’t say anything as he turns his back to you, pressing the button to close the door to his quarters. The click of the door sliding into place echoes deep in your bones as you’re left alone in the hallway…
That was months ago. You’d immediately requested a service change to a new squadron and done everything in your power to avoid seeing him again. Night shifts and dangerous recon runs, anything to make sure your paths never crossed again. 
“No need to apologize, I won’t tell anyone.” Poe winks at you with a grin. “So, it’s been a while, how have you been?”
Shaking the memory from your mind, you begin preparing for your watch. “Fine. You?”
“I’ve been okay.” He watches you gather your things, eyes trained on your every move.
“Mmm,” you respond non-committedly, shoving a flashlight and spare battery pack for your blaster into your bag before tugging the straps over your shoulders. “Well, I should be off. Being late and all.”
“Actually, we should be off. Your shift buddy called out so I’m his replacement.”
Fantastic. “Commander Dameron on night patrol?”
“Everyone pitches in where they’re needed,” he responds, hoisting his pack. 
Six hours on watch with Poe was the last thing you wanted to do, but he was right. Everyone was expected to, and for the most part did, pitch in where they were needed. If this was how you were expected to help the Resistance then you’d grit your teeth and get through it. 
“Let’s get going then.” You’re out the door and making your way to the watchtower before he can reprimand you for speaking to your superior like that. 
Luckily, the calm seems to be holding and the watchtower is nearly serene in the clear night. Stars twinkle above you in constellations you were still learning and the breeze was a song you never tired of. Lost in the ebb and flow of nature around you, you don’t notice the time pass.
Poe’s voice breaks the silence for the first time in hours. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” you nod, keeping your eyes on the wilderness beyond the base.
“What happened? With us?” 
Heat creeps up the back of your neck and the breeze seems to stop at the question. Like the whole base was waiting on bated breath for your response. “We just… Grew apart. That’s all.”
You hear Poe shift in his seat. “No, I don’t think that’s it. Not entirely.”
“What do you want me to say, Poe?” “I want you to look at me and tell me the truth.”
“I told you the truth.” Your clipped response is bitter on your tongue and you keep your body facing away from him. “We grew apart and the war got in the way of everything else.”
“This isn’t just some distance thing, tell me what happened.”
“I have nothing else to say.”
“You’re still not telling me the truth. I know you, why did you suddenly-”
“Because you left!” The words rip out of you and you finally stand, whirling around to face him. “Because you left me, Poe.”
Indignation blazes across his face. “I never left you, not any longer than a mission required of me!”
“That’s not what I mean!” Both your voices are too loud for the quiet watch, but you don’t care. Emotions flare and dance in your veins, demanding to be released. “You stopped giving a damn and then kicked me out of your room and told me you were busy. You stopped fighting for me. For us. You left one day and never really came back.”
The silence seems to echo as your words fade from the lone tower, open to the night sky. “I’d been trying for weeks at that point, Poe, and you kept pushing me away. So I stopped trying because you obviously didn’t want me around!”
“When have I ever said I don’t want you around?” He’s also standing, stepping into your orbit with his hands extended to his sides.
“You didn’t have to say it.” Stomping away from him to the rail of the tower, you lean against the weathered wood, “It was painfully clear.”
He follows you and grips your shoulders, spinning you to face him. “I’ve been out of my damn mind trying to be a leader in all of this. You know what Leia expects of me, you know what’s at stake-”
“Of course I do!” You shake his hands off you and push him away, “But I thought it would be exactly because of those reasons that you’d give a fuck about me. I thought, for a moment, that I was one of those things you were fighting for.”
“You were! You still are, and you always have been!”
“Just stop.” Your voice is trembling with rage and pain; searing white flames lick through the marrow of your bones. “Whether you meant to or not, you made it very clear where your priorities are and I’ve made my peace with the fact that this,” a sweeping gesture to the sleeping base below, “is your priority. Not me. And I shouldn’t be. I mean, hell, what am I compared to the entire Resistance?”
Needing to put any amount of distance between you, you make your way to the other side of the tower and settle into a chair, facing away from Poe. The noise from the breeze and insects comes back into focus as you curl your legs against your chest. 
After a moment, Poe’s voice reaches you from across the tower, “Do you know why I told you I was busy that night? Why I told you to go sleep somewhere else?”
You don’t respond, hugging your legs tighter as the anger starts to fizzle into sadness.
“I told you to leave because Leia had informed me that we had just lost an entire squadron to an ambush in the Mid-Rim. I had gotten some intel that there was going to be an unprotected shipment of weapons in the area and that group was sent out to get them. It was a trap, and my bad information got them all killed.” Poe stayed away from you through his explanation, his voice drifting by more quietly with each word. “None of them made it home. Because of me.”
The urge to go to him, to wrap him in your arms and comfort him, nearly overwhelms you for a moment before he continues. “I told you to leave because I didn’t want you, of all people, to see me break. I shattered that night, and when the sun rose and I realized that I’d made a huge mistake, you had already transferred and I didn’t see you again for weeks.”
Silent tears fall from your eyes at his admissions; the truths he laid in front of you. “So I let you go,” he whispers, “because it felt like some sort of karmic justice to lose you for what happened to those fighters.”
You find your voice again and say, “I’m sorry about the mission, I didn’t know… But that doesn’t make any of this better. It doesn’t excuse the fact that you didn’t even try.”
“You haven’t let me try.” His quiet voice begins to turn to ice.
“How was I supposed to know you even wanted to? You knew where my quarters were, you have access to all my orders; you could’ve come talk to me at any time and yet you didn’t.”
Heavy footsteps move away toward the edge of the tower. Without turning, you can picture his face in the starlight: his eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed, muscles in his jaw and neck jumping as he clenches his teeth. “You said I didn’t try. That I made it obvious I didn’t want you around. Well, Captain,” he spits your rank into the night, “you made it pretty clear as well that you didn’t want to be near me. Switching squads and dodging me at every turn.”
“You have no right-” you begin, but Poe cuts you off.
“I have every right!” His yell echoes off the gently rolling hills surrounding the base. “I have every damn right when you throw accusations in my face like this. You wanna talk about someone leaving or giving up? How about we talk about how all it took was one bad night for me for you to completely push me away?”
Rage begins simmering in your gut again, bringing you to your feet and back across the tower. “You never gave me any indication that you were dealing with more than the normal amount of stress. I tried everything I could to ease that stress for you; bringing you food when you were drowning in paperwork in your room, letting you fuck me every night even when you couldn’t look me in the eye, ignoring every red flag just to try and prove to you that I was there through it all. And it was never enough.”
“Well, I guess that’s our answer, then.” Poe keeps his gaze locked with yours, eyes gleaming with fury and sadness.
Your heart shatters. “I… I guess it is.”
“I’ll send someone else up here.” Poe lingers for a heartbeat, fists clenched at his side, before turning and heading down the stairs, leaving you alone. 
You stare out over base, watching Poe’s form disappear from view in the night, each step a death knell in your bones. Any future you daydreamed about fades with each passing breath. By the time Poe’s replacement makes it up the tower, the early morning wind has dried your tears and frozen a thick casing of ice around your heart.
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fatecantstopme · 6 months
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Not Yours to Take
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader
Summary: In which Dean begs Castiel to take away your memories of him to keep you safe.
Warnings: cursing, use of pet names, canon violence.
A/N: Told from Dean's perspective. Shares some similarities to Cass taking Lisa and Ben's memories.
"Absolutely not," I said angrily.
"Dean...come on. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself on a hunt. You know that," she responded calmly.
"This isn't a normal hunt, (Y/N). I don't want you anywhere near it."
"I don't care. I'm not letting you go alone!"
"I've hunted alone hundreds of times, I'll be fine."
"You just said this isn't a normal hunt. Going alone is a suicide mission. Hell, the whole damn thing could be a trap."
"Exactly!" I yelled. "So why would I put you in danger like that?"
"Our lives are dangerous! We choose to keep fighting every damn day, no matter the cost--why should this be any different?"
"Because I can't lose you!"
She stared at me quietly, sadness etched onto her beautiful face. "Dean..."
"No--don't look at me like that. With Sam...with Sam gone, it's just you and me. You're all I have."
She sighed. "You still have Cass."
I shook my head. "He's never around anymore. Too busy with whatever angel business he's got going on."
"There's no one else to call," she said softly.
I knew she was right--hell, I knew I shouldn't do this alone, but that didn't mean I was going to risk her life. I crossed the short distance between us and gently touched her cheek. "I shouldn't have yelled...but my mind is made up. I need you to stay here."
She looked defeated as her pretty (y/e/c) eyes met mine. I hated seeing that look on her face, but I would rather have her alive and angry at me than dead.
"Fine," she murmured. "Just--for the love of God, be careful."
"Careful is my middle name, darlin'," I joked.
She rolled her eyes. "'Reckless' is more accurate."
I grinned as I placed a soft kiss to her lips. "I'll be back by midnight, okay? I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Dean Winchester."
"I'm coming back, (Y/N)," I said softly. I turned away from her to grab my jacket and my bag, unable to look at her any longer. She was scared for my life and she had every right to be...
We'd been hearing rumblings in the last several months of a supernatural hit that had been placed on my life. Basically every monster was out to get me--I'd become the hunted. I wished Sam was here every day, but he was one more person I couldn't save. I would be damned if (Y/N) was added to that list.
I started to walk out the motel room door when I heard her inhale a shaky breath. I couldn't look at her--couldn't bare to see the worry in her eyes--so I turned my head back in her direction, but my eyes were trained on the floor. "I love you, baby."
"I love you too, Dean," she whispered.
I walked out the door without looking back, knowing there was no way I would leave if I looked at her.
**********
I made my way to an old abandoned farmhouse just outside of town. We knew there were reports of a demon infestation of some kind. Our intel indicated this was the demons' home base. I had this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, which intensified the closer I got, but I did my best to ignore it.
I opted to park the Impala about a half mile away to keep the demons from hearing me coming. I walked the rest of the way, staying off the main road.
When the farmhouse finally came into view, I noticed it was completely dark. It didn't look like anyone was home. As I crept closer, I continued to see signs of abandonment and disrepair. There were no indications that anyone--human or not--had been there in a long time.
That feeling in my gut crept back up and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. My hunter's instinct told me something was very wrong and I would be wise to listen to it.
Suddenly, my phone began to buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and the screen lit up with (Y/N)'s name. A sense of worry came over me and I answered without hesitation. "Hey baby, you okay?"
I heard muffled sounds on the other end of the phone and my heart began to beat faster. "Babe?"
I listened more closely and I heard what could only be described as sounds of a struggle. I felt a wave of panic wash over me and my grip on the phone tightened. "(Y/N) answer me!" I yelled.
I started running back towards the car, not giving a damn if someone saw or heard me. Whatever was happening to (Y/N) was happening back at the motel--so that was where I needed to be.
I wasn't more than 100 meters from the car when I heard a terrifying sound that cut me straight to the bone. It was clearly a woman's cry of pain--and I knew in an instant it was (Y/N)'s voice.
"(Y/N)!" I yelled into the phone as I ripped open the driver's door of the car and slid in. "(Y/N/N), answer me, please!"
The engine roared to life and I took off in the direction of the motel. There was nothing but silence on the other end of the phone and terror had begun wrapping its icy tendrils around my heart. "Baby, please..." I whispered, not expecting a response.
"I'm sorry, (Y/N) can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?" an unfamiliar voice said through the phone.
"Who the hell is this and where is (Y/N)?" I asked angrily.
"She's right here, but she's a little--unconscious--at the moment." The voice chuckled. "Who I am is really not important. All you need to know is I'm here to collect on a bounty."
My foot pressed down harder on the gas and I tried to control my breathing. "Look here you son of a bitch. If you hurt her, I swear to God, I will kill you and everything you have ever loved."
The voice chuckled once more. "The famous Dean Winchester bravado. I had a feeling I would like you."
I had already assumed he knew who I was, but with my suspicions confirmed, my fear for (Y/N) only increased. "I'm the one you want, so why don't you leave her out of this."
"You know, I would, but you've been a very hard man to track down. I figured going after the person you love most would just make my job easier. Now, you'll come right to me."
I knew there was no point in arguing. The panic in my voice when I was yelling for (Y/N) had already made it very clear how I feel about her. "If I hand myself over, you'll let her go?"
There were a few beats of silence before the man responded. "I will agree to those terms."
"Good. I'll be there in 20 minutes."
I hung up the phone and continued to speed towards the motel. I had a feeling that whatever this creature was that had (Y/N) wouldn't have any qualms about ignoring the terms of our deal. I couldn't just go in there and hand myself over, but I also couldn't go in guns blazing. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm not suicidal.
I exhaled heavily, mind set on what I needed to do. I didn't want to--I didn't even know if he'd respond, but I didn't have any other choice.
"Castiel," I said aloud. "I, uhh--I could really use your help here."
All I could hear was the roar of the car's engine.
"Come on, Cass--I know you're busy, but this is important. I'm not praying to you just for fun."
Still nothing.
"Damnit, Cass! It's (Y/N). I need you, man. Please." I hated begging, but desperate times and all that...
"I'm here Dean."
I jumped slightly as Castiel appeared in the seat beside me. "I know I called you, but it's freaky as hell when you do that."
"Sorry," he said simply. "You said this was important?"
"Some asshole kidnapped (Y/N) and I need your help."
"Why would someone kidnap (Y/N)?"
"Oh, I don't know Cass--maybe it's because I have a goddamn bounty on my ass!" I said sarcastically.
"I see. They're using (Y/N) to get to you."
"Good job. Now we're all caught up," I grumbled. "I don't know what we're dealing with, but my money is on a demon--probably a group of demons."
"I can see why you called me."
I shot him an annoyed glance, but didn't comment on his statement. "I left her at the motel thinking she'd be safer there--I never thought one of these monsters would come after her to get to me."
"It's not your fault, Dean."
I was surprised he said that--because it was definitely completely my fault. If I had just let her come with me, she wouldn't be in this situation. "Then who's fault is it, Cass?"
The angel remained silent. I sighed and focused my attention back on the road. "We're about 15 minutes out."
"Do you have a plan?"
I thought about it for a moment. "Yeah...it's not a great plan, but it's all I got."
**********
"You're right, that's a terrible plan," Cass commented.
"You got a better one?" When he didn't respond, I continued. "Didn't think so."
"We have no idea how many of them there are."
"I'm aware of that, Cass."
"Just making sure."
"Just...poof out of here so they don't see you. This only works if they think I'm alone."
I could tell he didn't like the idea of me walking into a trap by myself, but we really didn't have another option. When I glanced back over to the passenger seat a moment later, he was gone.
I took a deep breath. "God I really hope this works..."
**********
Ten minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of the motel. I looked around and spotted at least five people milling about outside, all trying to look like they weren't focused on me.
I got out of the car and started walking to the room, heart hammering in my chest. I had salt and holy water in my pockets, and an angel blade tucked into my waistband. I was as prepared as I could possibly be on such short notice.
When I reached the door, I turned the handle and was surprised to find it unlocked. As I stepped inside, my eyes scanned the room as quickly as possible. There were at least four demons in the room and (Y/N) was tied to a chair in the center.
"Dean! So nice of you to join us," one of them said. It was the same voice I had spoken to on the phone.
"I'm here, as promised. So why don't you just let her go."
The demon's eyes flashed black and he gave me a dark smile. "Oh please...you didn't actually think I was going to let her go, did you?"
My jaw tightened and I felt anger bubbling beneath the surface of my skin. While I hadn't assumed he would let her go, I really didn't like hearing it.
"I warned you, you son of a bitch," I ground out. My eyes flicked over to (Y/N)'s unconscious form and I took note of the obvious injuries. God only knew what they'd done to her before I got here.
"Yes, yes, murder, blah, blah, blah," the demon muttered. "Unfortunately, I'd already caused her quite a bit of pain before I made that promise, so there was really no use in keeping it."
My hands clenched into fists and I fought the urge to attack. Four to one were not good odds...nine to one was even worse. I needed Castiel to pick off the demons outside before I picked a fight with these ones.
"So which one are you? Demon #4,235?" I asked.
"I am Ariel," he answered smugly.
I choked out a laugh. "You're the little mermaid?"
The demon growled lowly. "I am significantly more powerful than a mermaid." With a flick of his wrist, I went flying against the wall, unable to move no matter how hard I struggled.
"I really hate Disney," Ariel grumbled. "At least I'll be rewarded for delivering your head on a silver platter."
"That's nice," I grunted. "I hope King Triton is pleased."
Ariel tightened his fist and I suddenly couldn't breathe. This wasn't the first time I'd felt this sensation, but it sucked every damn time.
There was a strangled cry from outside the room and it got the attention of all four demons. Ariel loosened his grip on me and I was able to breathe again. "What was that?" he hissed.
The other three demons shrugged in confusion.
"One of you go check it out."
None of them looked like they wanted to go, but eventually one stepped forward and went outside to check. He left the door open behind him, but he never came back in.
"For the love of Hell," Ariel muttered as he moved towards the open doorway.
"Not Hell," Castiel said from inside the room, angel blade slicing through the skin of the nearest demon.
Ariel's hold on me kept me pinned to the wall, but I felt it weaken as he spun around in surprise. Cass had grabbed ahold of the last demon and sunk his blade into the demon's chest. He glanced up at Ariel and took a menacing step in his direction.
The demon immediately abandoned his meat suit, a massive cloud of black smoke escaping into the night. I fell to my knees as his power left with him, body aching from the intensity.
"(Y/N)," I gasped out as I got to my feet and rushed to her side. "(Y/N/N) can you hear me?"
She didn't respond and I felt a moment of panic as I rushed to cut the binds around her wrists and ankles. She fell into my arms and I picked her up with ease. "I need to get her to a hospital."
"Of course."
"Uh-uh. Don't you leave yet. I know you can't heal her, but I might still need your help."
Castiel looked perplexed, but he nodded and followed me to the car.
**********
I wanted to stay by (Y/N)'s side when we got to the hospital, but the nurses told me to stay back in the waiting room. Castiel took a seat to wait patiently, but I had too much adrenaline to sit down. I paced back and forth for a good half hour, my boots wearing a pattern into the old carpet.
People were giving me odd looks, which I ignored. I was singularly focused on remaining in control of my emotions as we waited for news about (Y/N)'s condition. In the strangers' defenses, I did have a fair amount of blood on my clothes, none of which belonged to me, and I probably looked a little angry--okay, maybe a lot angry.
"Riley," a doctor called from the front desk. It was the name I had given when I brought (Y/N) in.
I practically ran to the doctor, Castiel following behind me. "How is she?" I asked, worry lacing my voice.
"She was quite clearly in a rather violent altercation, but she's going to be alright. She sustained a head injury, as well as several lacerations and bruises, but she's awake and asking for 'Dean'. I assume that's one of you?"
My body visibly relaxed. "I'm Dean."
"Would you like to go see her?"
I nodded and the doctor gestured for me to follow. When Cass tried to come with us, the doctor shook his head. "I'm sorry, but only one person at a time."
I turned to look at him, but Cass waived me on. "Go. She needs you."
I nodded gratefully and followed the doctor to her room. When I walked through the door, I saw the woman I loved lying in the bed, looking smaller and weaker than I'd ever seen her. It was enough to nearly shatter my heart into a thousand pieces.
She looked up at me when I stepped through the door and offered me a soft smile. "Dean," she murmured lowly.
"Hey baby," I said softly. Tears were stinging my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I didn't want her to know how emotional I was feeling in the moment.
"I'll leave you two to talk," the doctor said before closing the door behind him.
I crossed the room and grabbed her hand, giving it a tight squeeze. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
"For what?"
"For leaving you alone. I didn't think they would come after you..."
She squeezed my hand and a gentle smile graced her pretty face. "It's not your fault, Dean. Besides, I'm fine."
I nodded and bit my lip. "Thanks to Cass," I admitted.
"Thanks to both of you," she insisted.
I offered her a small smile. "I'm glad you're okay."
She tried to pull herself up into a more comfortable sitting position, but a gasp of pain escaped her lips and she slumped back against the pillows.
"Hey, don't try to move too much. Let me help you."
"Thanks," she mumbled.
I started to help her adjust so she'd be more comfortable. "Lean forward for me, baby, let me fix these pillows."
She nodded and leaned forward, giving me access to the crappy hospital pillows that were wedged between her back and the bed. As I moved them, her hospital gown shifted slightly, revealing her right shoulder blade to me. My body stiffened and I inhaled sharply as I took in the mangled skin where her anti-possession tattoo had once been.
I tried to keep my exterior calm as I finished adjusting the pillows and she leaned back against them, wincing at the pain. My face must have betrayed me, because when she looked up at me, a worried expression crossed her face.
"Dean? What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I lied smoothly. "I just don't like seeing you in pain."
She nodded, but didn't look entirely convinced. I had no way of knowing if she was already possessed or not, but there was one surefire way to find out. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small vial of holy water I had there from earlier in the evening.
Unfortunately, she noticed my movements and her eyes narrowed. "I really wouldn't do that if I were you," she hissed, eyes turning black as night. "You'll hurt your precious (Y/N)."
Anger flared up inside me. "Get the hell out of my girl, you black eyed son of a bitch."
She laughed. "Why would I do that when I'm having so much fun in here? She's in here with me, you know. Wide awake and fighting."
She got out of the bed with shocking speed and sent me flying across the room. Apparently the demon had been faking pain to make me think it was (Y/N).
"You know what the best part of all this is, Dean?" The demon asked as it approached me. "She's going to watch helplessly as I gut you like a pig. I might even make her eat your entrails, just for fun."
I winced as I pulled myself into a sitting position. I was getting really tired of being tossed around like a damn rag doll. "I think you underestimate her," I said with a grunt of discomfort.
"The fight weakened her before I ever possessed her. She's not strong enough to overpower me." The demon leaned forward and grabbed my face in its hands. "You're not much of a threat either without your little angel pal--and you won't do a damn thing to hurt your beloved (Y/N)."
The demon was right about one thing--I wouldn't hurt (Y/N), at least not irreparably. I still had the bottle of holy water in my hand and I made the split section decision to toss it into her face. "Sorry, baby," I muttered as the demon jumped back in pain.
I managed to get to my feet, but the demon flung me against the wall again, holding me still with its power. I managed to gasp out (Y/N)'s name before the demon began to suffocate me.
I stared at the face of the person I loved most in this hellscape of a world and silently pleaded with her to wake up--to fight back. I didn't want to die, but more importantly, I didn't want her to have to live with the guilt.
I was starting to fade, I knew I was going to black out soon and then it would be all over for me. I struggled against the power that held me in place, but it was useless. I saw the demon pull a knife out of a bag of (Y/N)'s clothes. I recognized it instantly as the knife I'd given her as a gift when we first got together. Fitting that it would be the weapon that kills me.
The demon began to approach me and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was truly about to die. What was worse was the accompanying fear along with it. Would I be going back to Hell? Would (Y/N) be okay without me? Would I get to see my brother again?
Suddenly, the demon's black eyes flickered back to (Y/N)'s normal (y/e/c) ones. Her hand shook and she dropped the knife she was holding, a strained gasp escaping her throat. The demon's power over me faded in an instant, and I sunk to the floor, gasping for breath.
"Dean," she gasped, her face contorted in pain as she struggled to hold the demon at bay. "I can't--I can't hold him off much longer."
"Cass!" I yelled, trying to summon the angel for help.
"Exorcise him or kill me," (Y/N) begged. "I can't let him kill you, but I'm not strong enough to maintain control."
I suddenly wished I'd paid more attention when Sammy tried to teach me Latin...at least the words to the damn exorcism. "I can't remember the words," I said in distress.
"Then you have to kill me," she pleaded.
"I can't. I won't."
"The demon--it won't...won't let me recite the words."
"Son of a bitch," I muttered under my breath. I pulled myself off the floor and took a step towards her. "Hang on for me, baby. Please."
She nodded and I turned my back to her to open the door. I stuck my head out in the hallway and saw Castiel sitting patiently at the other end. Clearly no one had noticed the commotion happening in this room, including the angel. I stepped out into the hallway and waved to him, hoping he would see me.
Cass looked up at me and I waved to him, motioning for him to come here immediately. He stood up and started walking towards me and I gestured for him to come to the room. I ducked back in and closed the door. A second later, Cass appeared inside the room.
"What's going on, Dean?"
"She's possessed."
"That's not possible."
"The demons cut off my anti-possession tattoo," (Y/N) said through gritted teeth. "So, a little help would be nice."
Castiel fixed his gaze on her and his eyes widened slightly. "I can see the demon within you."
"That's disturbing," I muttered. "Get it out of her."
"I can't without killing her."
"What? Use your mojo, dude. That's what you do."
"Haven't you ever noticed my 'mojo' as you call it burns out a person's eyes?"
I thought back to all the times I'd seen Cass kill a demon and realized he was right. "Shit."
"Do you know an exorcism?" (Y/N) managed to ask. "Preferably a fast one."
"I know where I can get one." With those words, Castiel disappeared into thin air.
"Not a great time to disappear, Cass!" I yelled at nothing.
"He'll be back," (Y/N) said. "I think."
"Are you okay? How much longer can you hold him off?"
"He's really strong, so not much longer. Also, he really doesn't like you."
"Most demons don't," I said with a shrug.
"He keeps muttering something about the little mermaid. I don't know why."
My eyes widened slightly. "Well I do. His name is Ariel...and I may have made a little mermaid joke when we met earlier."
She managed a weak laugh. "A demon named Ariel. Awesome."
In any other circumstances, I would have laughed with her, but I was too worried to appreciate the humor.
"I have the exorcism," Castiel said as he reappeared beside me.
"Great!" I grabbed the book from his hand and realized it was my dad's journal. I held the leather tightly as I began to read the words from the page. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas omnis incursio infernalis adversarii..."
The more I read, the more intense (Y/N)'s struggle became. She fell to her knees and cried out in pain, but I kept reading. I needed that demon to get the hell out of her body.
"Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te! Adinos!" The moment I finished speaking, (Y/N)'s head flew back and black smoke escaped her mouth.
After a few seconds, her body collapsed on the floor and I rushed to her side. "(Y/N)!"
She lifted her head and her eyes met mine. She offered me a weak smile and said, "I'm fine."
I breathed a sigh of relief and helped her off the floor and back into bed. "Cass, go grab an anti-possession necklace from the trunk of my car."
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Cass was gone.
"I feel like I owe you another apology," I said softly.
"For what?"
"Well...you didn't exactly get my first apology and I also need to apologize for letting you get possessed."
"You didn't let anything happen, Dean. None of this was your fault. Shit like this happens to people in this life...I know what I signed up for."
Cass reappeared with the necklace before I could respond. I took it from him and placed it around her neck, breathing a sigh of relief once it was in place.
"I will wait outside," Cass announced. He disappeared again before either of us could say a word.
"Angels," I muttered under my breath, earning a light laugh from (Y/N).
I turned my attention back to her and I sighed. I hated seeing her like this--I hated seeing her hurt and in pain. It made me want to kill whatever had caused her pain, only this time it was all my fault.
"Dean, I wanna go home," she whispered.
I wished more than anything that we had an actual home to go to, instead of yet another shitty motel. I wished I could give her the life she deserved, but I knew that would never be in the cards for us.
"Alright," I murmured, placing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Lemme talk to the doctor."
**********
We drove for over an hour to a slightly nicer motel in another town. I didn't want her recovering in that rundown place--the same place she'd been attacked and possessed.
(Y/N) was asleep in the backseat when we arrived, having fallen asleep almost immediately after leaving the hospital. Cass and I had ridden in silence the entire time, allowing me to have time to think.
I got us a room while Cass waited with (Y/N) in the car. When I returned, I gently woke her up and helped her into our room.
"I wanna take a shower," she stated. "I feel disgusting."
I knew the feeling, so I agreed to her request even though I was worried about her falling. Besides, I needed some time to talk to Cass alone.
I helped her into the bathroom and started the shower for her. She refused my help any further and shooed me out of the room. "I'm weak, Dean, but I'm not an invalid."
I chuckled and threw my hands up in surrender. "Just yell if you need me."
She waved me off again and I walked out of the bathroom, leaving her to her own devices.
Cass had sat down in a chair near the door and I made my way towards him. I didn't want to have this conversation...I didn't want to ask of this of him, but I didn't see another option.
"Thanks for coming to the rescue today," I began.
"You know I will always help you," he responded.
I nodded. "I actually need your help one more time before you go."
"With what?"
I took a deep breath. "This bounty thing--the price on my head--it's putting the people I love at risk. More risk than I ever imagined." I started pacing back and forth as I spoke, letting the words just flow. "What happened today just solidified it for me, ya know? I'm obviously living at risk every day of my life, but that doesn't mean I should be dragging other people into it. I mean, look at all I've lost so far--you and (Y/N) are all I have left."
I paused, needing a minute to just breathe. "My worst fears almost came true today. (Y/N) was hurt because of me...she could have died because of me. Then she was possessed by a demon who wanted to kill me? Imagine if he'd been successful! She would have had to live with that guilt the rest of her life and it would have killed her. I don't want this for her--any of it. She deserves better and I need you to give it to her."
I sat down on the bed facing Cass with a sigh. My head dropped into my hands and I felt tears pressing against the backs of my eyelids.
"What is it you're asking me to do?"
I stayed silent for a moment, taking those precious seconds to make sure this was the right decision. When I was certain, I looked up at my friend, sadness etched into my face. "I need you to take away her memories. I want her to forget about this life--to forget any of this exists. I want her to forget about demons and angels and all the shit that goes bump in the night. I want her to forget about the death and the pain and the endless battles. I want her to live a happy, normal, safe life--far away from this...far away from me."
Cass stared at me in silence for a moment. Neither one of us were aware our conversation was no longer private--the shower had turned off over a minute ago.
"Do you understand what you're asking? She will know nothing of this life, which means she won't remember you."
The tears finally pushed through my mental block and slid down my face. "I know. I hate the idea of her being out in the world loving someone who isn't me, but I can handle it because she'll be safe. She'll be happy. She needs to forget me...or she'll never be safe."
I heard the bathroom door open and I quickly wiped my eyes, trying to hide the pain I was feeling. I turned towards her, trying to put a smile on my face, but it slipped away the moment I saw her expression.
She was standing there, hair wet and dripping, wrapped in nothing but a bath towel. Her eyes were filled with sadness and a pain so deep it broke my heart.
"Castiel, will you give us a minute, please?" she asked softly, but firmly.
"I'll just be...outside," he muttered as he disappeared.
"(Y/N)--"
"No, Dean. This is my time to talk," she said cutting me off. "Sometimes you make me so incredibly angry--like a violent level of angry I didn't even know I was capable of. You're so...so...arrogant. So certain you're right and every one else is wrong. You make decisions without stopping to think how those decisions affect other people--you make decisions on my behalf without even consulting me. Do you ever stop to think about how I feel?"
"(Y/N), I--it's for your own protection--"
"Damn my protection, Dean! And damn you!" she yelled. "You don't get to decide for me. You don't get to determine my life path! You don't wanna be with me, then that's your prerogative, but don't you dare make that decision for me. I chose this life with eyes wide open. I knew the dangers, I knew the risks, and I chose it anyway. I chose you, Dean Winchester, knowing everything that comes along with that."
I starred at her in stunned silence--I'd never seen her this angry before.
Tears streamed down her face as she continued. "I have loved every moment of our life together--the good and the bad. I wouldn't choose anything else, certainly not a 'normal' life. I love hunting monsters with you. I love saving people with you. I love traveling the country with you. I love living in shitty, dingy motels with you. I love getting into fights, coming home bruised and bleeding, battling our way through everything that comes our way. Do you know why? Because I'm with you--because I love you. So don't you dare take my memories from me, Dean Winchester. They are not yours to take."
I stood up and crossed the room with surprising speed. I wrapped her up in my arms, holding her tightly to my chest. She leaned into me, ignoring the pain her body was in. I kissed her on top of her head and held her for a long time before she finally pulled away from me.
"I just want to protect you," I whispered.
"I know, Dean...but the safest place for me will always be right beside you. There's no place else I'd rather be."
I touched her face and closed my eyes, just feeling her warmth emanate from within. I knew I couldn't live without her--at least not happily...I needed her more than I ever cared to admit. I wanted to protect her--to keep her safe, but maybe she was right. Maybe the safest place for her was in my arms. I would die to protect her--I would kill to protect her. Who else would be willing to do that?
"I love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and I'm sorry."
She smiled up at me. "I love you too, Dean...and I know you are. Just don't try that shit again."
I chuckled lightly and leaned down to kiss her. Part of me hated admitting she was right, but I knew from that moment on, I would never let her go. Never.
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vioartemis · 1 year
Text
Alone with you
(Tara carpenter x fem! reader)
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Summary: After your girlfriend of 4 years got brutally attacked at her house, you're willing to do anything to keep her safe, even if it means putting yourself in danger Request here :)) Warnings: blood, injuries, Tamber (one sided) (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)
You just learnt your girlfriend had been attacked the night before and ran to the hospital to be by her side when she would wake up.
When she opened her eyes, you could say she was relieved to see you next to her.
"Y/n...?"
"Hi baby..."
She started to tear up, lower lip trembling.
"I was so scared..." she sobbed "He- he was wearing a Ghostface costume Y/n... w-what if it's another psycho like the others...?"
You sat on the bed and hugged her, stroking her hair as she cried against you, gripping your shirt tight.
"I'm sorry I wasn't with you... y-you're gonna be okay from now on, I'm here, I'll protect you my love..."
You tried your best to comfort her, and even though you were not the best at it, it was working. She felt safe in your arms, face buried in the crook of your neck.
"Please don't leave me..."
"I won't, I swear. I'm staying here as long as you need me to" you placed a kiss on her head "Do you want me to tell our friends you're awake?"
She shook her head slightly, not letting go of you.
"I'll do it myself, but not now... I want to stay alone with you. Can you lay in bed with me...?"
"Of course"
You took off your shoes and slipped in her bed, taking her back in your arms.
You had no idea who could have attacked your girlfriend, but whoever it was, you were going to make them pay for almost taking her away from you.
Yet you felt that maybe they didn't want to kill her. They could have easily sunk their knife in her throat or in any vital organs for the final blow. But they didn't.
Either it was part of their plan, or they just couldn't.
You hoped it was the first option with your whole heart. Because if it wasn't, it meant the new Ghostface could be one of your friends. Someone that loved Tara so much they couldn't kill her.
If anyone else came to this conclusion, you would be the prime suspect. That's what prevented you from sharing your theory with the police. Your girlfriend doubting you was the last thing you wanted.
After Tara texted Wes around half an hour later, and ten more minutes for them to come here, your friends arrived at the hospital, soon followed by none other than Samantha Carpenter and her boyfriend.
You got out of Tara's bed when your friends arrived, now sitting on a chair right next to her bed, holding her hand.
How many years had it been since you saw Sam for the last time? 5 years? More? It felt like an eternity. She used to babysit Wes, Mindy, Chad and you when you were younger, but you knew her before that, being Tara's friend since forever.
You had always loved her, she was the older sister you never had. Until she left. You never heard of her since that day.
You hoped she had changed and she wouldn't hurt Tara anymore.
"Look guys, Tara's really tired. Maybe we should give her some space" Amber suggested
Everyone agreed and started to leave.
"Not you Sam. I want you to stay"
You gave a last squeeze to your girlfriend's hand before sitting up too.
"I'll text you and be back later in the day" you said softly
"Wait before you go..."
She beckoned you to lean in, and put her valid hand on the back of your neck, pulling you close to kiss you tenderly.
"I love you" she whispered against your lips
"I love you too baby"
You smiled, giving her a last peck on the lips before standing up, cheeks a little redder than usual. Sam looked shocked but didn't say anything as you walked past her.
Once you left, Tara broke down again in her sister's arms. Like you, Sam tried her best to comfort her, hugging her and patting her back.
She tried to make Tara think of something else.
"How long has it been? Y/n and you"
A smile crept on Tara's face as she heard your name.
"Four years, since freshman year"
Sam could see you made her sister happy. The light in her eyes, this little shiny light couldn't mean anything else. She always thought you would make a great couple.
Out of all of her sister's friends you had always been her favorite. She knew Wes had a crush on Tara back in the days, but she never thought she liked him back. Even then, she only had eyes for you.
"You make a cute couple"
<><><><> ♡ <><><><>
"Welcome to act three"
So it was her all along? Her that attacked Tara at her house and at the hospital? Her that almost killed the person you loved the most?
You knew she had a crush on Tara. You saw it in the way she looked at her, even though she denied it. Maybe Amber's feelings were the only thing that saved Tara.
Amber tried to shoot Sam but Tara pushed her arm up, making her miss. Everyone split up, running away from the psycho while she dragged Tara upstairs.
"Y/n-!"
You rushed in the kitchen to grab a knife, before heading upstairs as fast as you could. Amber had a gun, you had to have something to defend yourself.
When you found them, Amber was tying Tara up with duct tape.
"Get the fuck away from her"
The brunette paused for a second before slowly standing up, reaching behind her for her gun.
"I really should've killed you when I could." she groaned, glaring daggers at you
She tried to shoot you but missed. The bullet only brushed your arm, burning your shirt and skin in the process.
You clenched your teeth at the pain but wasted no time and rushed toward her, cutting her wrist with the knife enough to make her drop the gun.
She bent down and held her bleeding wrist against her. You took a step closer, thinking it was safe, but her head jolted up before she launched herself at you.
Taken by surprise, you fell to the ground, knife still in hand. You tried to stab her but she stepped on your wrist, forcing your hand opened, and took the knife.
You scream in pain as she sank the blade into your stomach harshly, positioning herself on top of you. Her slender fingers wrapped around your throat, squeezing hard.
"You really thought you could steal her from me like that huh? She's mine. Has always been. I've waited long enough."
You tried to push her away, but her grip on your throat was cutting your air off, and her weight on you pushed the knife even deeper in your stomach.
You started feeling lightheaded. Was this really how you were going to die? You couldn't do anything, all your strength taken away by the lack of air.
"Fuck you" you managed to say before a vase crashed on her head
She fell to the side, the impact knocking her out. You took a deep breath and coughed when you tried to sit up, the knife still in your stomach.
Tara sat next to you, concern written on her face.
"Are you okay babe...?"
You gave her a thumbs up, still trying to catch your breath. You would definitely have a mark with how hard she was squeezing your throat.
After a moment, you tilted your head up slightly toward the knife.
"Should we take it out?"
"Wouldn't you get hurt more if we don't?"
"I don't know... but right now it prevents me from bleeding too much..."
"Maybe we should take it out. You know, no risk for anyone to twist it while it's still in you"
She wasn't wrong.
"Okay okay, but you're gonna have to do it my love..."
She gulped, looking at the knife with apprehension. She really didn't want to hurt you. But Amber could regain consciousness at any moment, and this time she would kill you.
"I'm going at three okay...?"
She grabbed the handle with her valid hand.
"One, two-" she pulled it out in one swift motion, blood gushing out of your wound
You swore under your breath, fists clenched. Tara was looking for a towel or something to bandage you up when you saw Amber moving in the corner of your eye.
"Shit" you mumbled, sitting up painfully "Tara baby, we need to go, she's waking up"
You got up as quickly as you could while Tara grabbed her crutches, lying next to Amber's bed. You took the knife and the gun with you, hoping Amber would be confused enough not to chase you right after she woke up.
As you went downstairs with Tara, Richie appeared in the hall.
"Where were you? Where's Amber?"
"Upstairs" Tara said "she tried to lock me up in a closet"
Richie's eyes widen when he saw you were bleeding. He got closer to you.
"She stabbed you"
"No shit Sherlock. How did you figured that out?"
When he took one more step closer, you saw something shiny in his hand. But it was to late to back up now, the blade was already sinking in your leg. You hissed in pain, tears in your eyes.
"She's gonna be pissed if I kill you. But don't worry, you're gonna die soon" he smirked at you "Don't even try to save her Tara, you-"
He turned around but she was nowhere to be seen.
"Fuck"
What happened after that was mostly the two of them explaining their plan to you, once you were all gathered into the kitchen - except for Tara - and some more fighting.
At one point, one of them plunged a knife in your back. You were tired of getting stabbed.
The first thing you remembered after that was Amber getting BBQed alive by Gale and Sidney. Deserved, you thought.
Then, the three of you went to the hall where Sam was slicing Richie's throat.
"Careful, they always come back"
Sam took Gale's gun and shot Richie three times. But as you thought it was finished, you heard a scream behind you. Amber was running toward you, knife in hand.
But before she could harm anyone, she was shot in the head.
"That's for stabbing my girlfriend."
Her sweet voice was filled with anger and sadness. You walked toward her, relieved that nothing happened to her, and hugged her tight, not caring if it hurt you.
<><><><> ♡ <><><><>
Months after this night, your wounds had healed, only leaving painless scars. Your throat still hurt sometimes, but never too much. The doctors said it was normal after what Amber did.
"Okay I'm leaving, have fun girls!"
Today was your fifth anniversary, and for the occasion, Sam was leaving for the night, giving you more intimacy. You were almost living with them given the time you spent at their house instead of yours.
This year, you settled for a simple date at home; romantic dinner, Netflix and chill. With the recent events, none of you wanted to go out too much.
You spent the day preparing everything with her, cooking, fighting with the flour, laughing together. That was so much fun, knowing you were not the best cook.
Everything was ready now, you just had to change.
When you finally went to the living room, Tara was lighting up the candles. She was gorgeous. You stared in awe for a minute before she made her way to you and pressed a kiss on your lips.
"You okay?"
"Yeah I- You're gorgeous tonight my love..." you placed your hands on her waist "Breathtaking even"
You could see her blush at your words.
"I could say the same to you babe" now it was your turn to blush, making her lips curl up "Come on, dinner's gonna get cold"
That was clearly not the best dinner you ever had quality speaking, but it was the best because you made it with the girl you loved.
When it was time to get the cake - maybe the best dish you had made this day - you took a small box out of your pocket.
"Before we eat the cake, I'd like to give you something"
You handed her the little box across the table, a wide smile on your face.
"Wait I got you something too" she said
She handed you a little box, almost the same as yours.
"We open it together okay?"
"3, 2, 1..."
You opened the boxes at the same time.
You got her a promise ring, physical symbol of your love for her and that you would be there no matter what.
It took you weeks to find the perfect one, but you found it. The color, the shape, it was the one you imagined. You knew it wasn't that important, but finding a pretty ring was a must to you.
When you opened your gift, you saw... a promise ring. You saw this one when you were looking for hers. It was definitely the one you would have chosen.
You were both speechless, rings in hand, and after a moment you started laughing.
"Looks like we had the same idea" you smiled, putting the ring on while Tara did the same "it's perfect baby"
You got up from your chair, leaning forward to kiss her across the table, entwining your fingers with hers in the process. She smiled against your lips.
"A perfect ring for a perfect girl"
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tatesdiary · 2 years
Text
No more
Summary Tate comes up to see you after your dad told him he couldn't be his psychiatrist anymore.
tags you know everything about Tate etc., cursing, you're Bens & Vivien's daughter
word count 675
Tate Langdon x f!reader
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"I don't understand him, you know? Like, I finally got a friend - which they've been pushing me to do - and then he wants to get rid of you?" Huffing you fall back against your pillows, angered at your dad's lack of understanding.
"I mean I kinda brought this onto myself," Tate mumbles, his eyes still a little red from his crying earlier. "No," he flinches at your loud tone and you get up from the bed, instead standing between his legs.
"Just because he couldn't handle that we're in a relationship he's being unprofessional. Wow, you definitely brought that on yourself," the sarcasm in your voice is palpable.
He sighs and leans forward, his head resting on your chest and his arms looping around your waist. You bury a hand in his soft hair, playing with it the way he loves.
"I don't know why you stick with me. You know all the things I did, how can you not hate me?" His voice is shaky and you almost crumble when he looks up with his big doe eyes.
"I don't think it's okay what you did. I told you before. But you have to stop thinking it's all your fault, when this house and the other ghosts had a huge part in it. And you've gotten better, too," he smiles a little and you melt - letting go of him and laying back down. "Come cuddle me. Also, I'll talk to my Dad later."
He nods and kicks his shoes off. When he lays down you take him in your arms, knowing he loves being the little spoon (when you first found out you couldn't hold back cooing at him).
He sniffles a little before his breathing evens out, holding your hand tightly to his chest while sleeping.
When you're sure he's in deep sleep you loosen yourself from him, closing the door and searching for your dad.
You find him still sitting in the chair, seemingly saying goodbye to another patient.
When she's left you speak up, "We have to talk." Is all you say and sit down in the place of one of his patients. He looks surprised but nods and sits down in his leather seat, "What's up?"
"Why'd you send Tate away? He told you a million times he doesn't want to be treated by anyone else and he's obviously been through a lot. Why the fuck would you tell him to leave?"
His expression turns stony and he sighs, "(y/n), you know he's dangerous, he can't stay here. And he talks about you in a way I'm not comfortable with."
You laugh humorlessly, "Oh, so you can't deal with him? A teenager? Isn't that, like, your job? Get your shit together, ever since you cheated on mom and got that girl pregnant you've been letting it out on everyone but yourself." Rolling your eyes you get up, ready to leave. You knew that's not the way to talk to your parent, but he behaved like everything was resolved around him and like his actions didn't hurt anyone.
"Stop believing everything's gonna turn out great. You ruined this family. It's your fault, get it in your head, Jesus. And start treating Tate again, you can't stop me from seeing him anyway."
Sending him a last glare you push yourself up and leave, seeing the very boy you just talked about sheepishly leaning against the railing. With an embarrassed grin you walk over and lean against him, his arms going around your waist.
"It's so sexy when you're mean," he says and you gasp before laughing, hitting his chest weakly. As you're about to answer the door from the living room opens and your dad comes out, stilling when he sees you both.
Before he can start scolding you again you take Tate's hand and pull him back to your room.
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lostquinn · 6 months
Text
Late is better than never
Simon 'Ghost' Riley x gn! Reader
(Angst + fluff)
Kidnapped reader, implied torture, mental break
In which an emotionally destroyed reader gives up after being kidnapped, only to be saved by their Knight in military fatigues.
Hello lovelies, have some cute doctor who inspired angst with a topping of fluff! Been very distracted but I'm trying to get back into writing!
Word count - 569
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You sat bound to a chair, your body aching and bleeding. You had been taken hostage half a week ago and so far had seen no sign from anyone in the 141 that you would be rescued, least of all Ghost. Surprisingly, that was what hurt most.
"Tell us, pretty bird, where is your precious Ghost that you promised would come for you?" Your captor chuckled.
"God knows where he is right now but I promise you he is doing whatever the hell he wants and not giving a damn about me," Your voice cracked as you spoke, your head hung low. Tears stung at your eyes. They had broken your spirit. "And I'm just fine with that,"
"Yet you would be here if the roles were reversed," the man chuckled. Footsteps filled the air.
"When you love Ghost, it's like loving the stars themselves. You dont expect a sunset to admire you back!" You chuckled, almost in disbelief that you ever thought he was coming. "And if I ever happen to find myself in danger, let me tell you. My lieutenant is not stupid enough or sentimental enough, and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me,"
Tears streamed down your face, staining your cheeks as you sobbed. Your heart ached as you knew that every word was the truth. Maybe if you were better. Maybe if you were someone else, he would be here. But never for you.
You were a fool to believe that he would ever come, that any of them would come. You weren't Soap or Gaz. You were just another Sergeant there to help the team. You didn't matter as much as the rest of the team.
Bang. Thud.
The man in front of you fell to the floor, a hole between his eyes before footsteps surrounded you. You felt someone untying you, their hands shaking slightly.
Someone walked around in front of you, crouching before you. Their gloved hand grabbed your chin, his gloved hand, and tilted you head up so that you were looking into those all too familiar warm brown eyes.
"Hello love," Ghost muttered, his voice low.
Before you knew it, your hands and legs had been cut free with a little "there you go lass," from Soap and you fell into Ghost's arms.
Ghost cradled you against himself, one hand tangled with your hair and the other rubbing little circles on your back as he held you close. The cold man held you tight, as if he was scared to lose you... as if you mattered.
"You came," you cried into him, desperately holding onto his vest. It felt as though letting go meant he would disappear.
"I'd have come a lot sooner, but fucking Price wouldn't let me come alone," he chuckled, pressing his lips against your temple.
The act made you look up, staring up at his lips. He'd pulled back his mask for you, just a little, but it meant the world to you. You nuzzled back against his chest. His lips were soft and dry, red from where he had been nervously chewing on them.
"I can't believe dragging me along was enough for him," Soap chuckled. "Old bastard said we shouldn't come back if we dont have you,"
"It's okay," you smiled against Ghost's chest, tracing over the union Jack on his uniform with your thumb. "Late is better than never,"
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Note
BESTIE could I get prompt 18 (if you’re still doing these prompts)
18. "You're legally obligated to keep holding me." with Marko and a casually clingy reader who most people assume they’re nonchalant and then Marko ALWAYS has them on him at some point?👀
Yes, of course! I hope you like this one, love!💜
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If you had asked on the boardwalk about me, people probably would have said that I was cold. Distant. Cool. As if nothing bothered me. I mean, most people that I would have interacted with would have said that I was kind enough, I'm sure. But besides that, no - I kind of perfected the whole "I don't get bothered by anything, I don't need anyone, everything is going to go my way anyways and if not it still is" vibe. I owned it. And yet, behind that nonchalance, deep down inside, I knew that I wanted something else. I wanted someone to give me a reason. Someone who made me care. Who saw me, knew me, and was willing to stand beside me.
Luckily, about six months ago, I think I met that someone. He was careless and had a hint of danger around him. He seemed to live on messing with people. He lived for the thrill of the chase - or at least, that's what it looked like. When we met, he had tried to pickpocket me, and I had - just to see if I could - tried the same thing. On him. So there we were, looking at each other, hands in each others pocket.
"Bit cosy for someone whose name I don't even know," I commented, causing him to grin.
"How about we keep those hands empty and hand each other some names, hm?"
"Sure," I grinned, introducing myself. He, in turn, did the same. Marko - that was his name, and in all honesty, it suited him.
In the days that followed, we kept running into each other, and soon after, we became a thing. There was no need for any specific names to define what we were. It was simple. Before, we were a separate 'Him' and 'Me', and now there simply was an 'us'.
When we got together, I slowly started to realise that I liked being close to him. When riding around on his bike, I always scooted a little bit closer than absolutely necessary. Just to be closer to him. When eating out, I noticed that at the end of the meal, my chair would basically be next to his, our arms touching with every move we'd make. I didn't know why. It just happened.
Now, whenever I was with him, I was close with him. Holding hands, him slipping his hand in my back pocket, or the other way around. Leaning into him whenever we were hanging with the boys, playing with his hair while watching a movie. I was always near him, always touching him - and thankfully, he didn't seem to mind one bit. On the contrary, he seemed to like it.
Tonight, it was just the two of us. I had gone out to rent some movies. Marko had told me that he had never seen the Texas Chainsaw Massacre or The Exorcist. So, I had rented them from Max' Videos, and made sure we could watch them together. I'd also bought some snacks, ranging from popcorn to crisps and chocolates, and he'd promised to bring takeout.
"What do you want to watch first?" I asked as Marko sat down on the couch, handing me a carton with noodles.
"Exorcist? I remember that people went crazy for that one."
I chuckled, putting it on and enjoying my meal. That was until Reagan began to throw up. I was mid bite when the green vomit covered the screen, landing on the poor priests face - and when I felt my own bile rise up in my throat. I groaned, running to the toilet, sighing as I realised that this scene never sat well with me - and wondering how I could have forgotten it.
"Babe?" Marko stood in the doorway, making sure I was okay.
"Sorry about that," I smiled, but I was certain it looked more like a grimace.
"Shit happens," he shrugged, "do you want to watch something else?"
I shook my head. "Besides this scene proving otherwise," I motioned around, "I do quite enjoy the movie."
"Good," he grinned, helping me up. He handed me my toothbrush before leaning in the doorway, waiting for me to be ready.
"Are you sure about the movie?" He asked once we were seated again. The movie was paused at another scene, the worst being over. I nodded, smiling at him.
"One condition, though."
"Yeah? Which is?"
"You are legally obligated to keep holding me."
"As comfort or as protection for potential demons?" He asked as he moved me closer to him, covering me with a blanket.
"How about both?" I looked up, smiling.
"I think I can deal with both," he grinned, holding me as he started the movie again.
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meaningofaeons · 10 months
Note
Hello! Congrats on 500 follows, you deserve it! Can I visit the cat cafe with Gepard to play with a tortoiseshell munchkin + order a hot cocoa? You probably have a ton of other requests atm so feel free to pass!
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-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ weathering the storm
⊹ character(s) - gepard landau ⊹ word count - 746 ⊹ notes - gn!reader, meet cute, reader is implied to be part of an affluent/noble family, soulmate au wherein you have a countdown on your wrist until you meet your soulmate (technically until you get within a close enough proximity to them)
⊹ katze's 500 follower writing cat-baret
hiii! thank you so much omg <3 (ミΦ ﻌ Φミ)∫ I hope you enjoy your "cat cafe date" with gepard, I had a lot of fun with this one!!
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It was a cold day as ever on the ever-frozen planet where you resided, but for some reason, it permeated your flesh even as you ran through the Belobog alleyways.
The monstrous footsteps of the Fragmentum beasts were not far behind, and you were not keen to end your days at the flaming blade of the Shadewalker.
However, as luck would have it, you found yourself backed into a corner. You slumped to the floor, pressed against the stone wall.
As though reveling in your terror, the beast's footsteps slowed, brandishing its weapon menacingly as it prepared to swing the blade down upon your head.
You squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for the worst.
Then, a small chime resounded, and your eyes once again shot open.
Your soulmate counter... had reached zero.
As if on cue (or perhaps perfectly so, considering the way the soulmate counter seemed to interfere with fate itself), several Silvermane Guards had appeared, taking care of the beasts with no small measure of ease.
In the midst of them all stood none other than Gepard Landau, who was now right before your eyes. He had frozen the monster before you to ice, knocking it to the ground as it vanished into ash.
"Are you alright?"
A gloved hand reached for you, and you took it with just the slightest ounce of hesitation. A twinge of recognition shone in ocean blue eyes as he spotted you, but even if he acknowledged it, Gepard made no verbal mention of it.
"I'm... I'm okay."
Was... Was the eldest son of the Landaus your soulmate?
"That's good to hear."
His soft smile sent a shiver down your spine, but not the kind that the violent winters of Belobog instilled within you every day.
No, it was... warm. Oddly so. And it was accompanied by a distinct warmth in your chest, as well.
"Um... I—"
Before you could even get ahead of yourself, ask about the counter upon your wrist, the blonde had summoned over a combat medic among the ranks of his subordinates, asking him to patch up your scrapes.
You felt your heart drop a bit.
Right. There were so many guards here... Sure, you hadn't exactly "met" any of them in the same way as Gepard, but soulmate counters had been known to end after only close proximity, not necessarily a full meeting.
Any one of these guards could be your soulmate, and you hadn't a clue which.
"I'm sorry, you were going to say something?" Captain Gepard questioned kindly, still holding on your hand.
Some part of you dearly hoped that it was indeed he who was your soulmate... but with no way to check his wrist, you figured only to relent for today.
You could ask around later... You had friends in the Silvermane Guards. Surely, you could garner the names of the ones present, and discover which was your soulmate that way.
"No... no, no. I'm okay. Thank you very much for saving me."
"I was only doing my duty. Do you live near here?"
"Yes, I live close by."
Gepard nodded. "As much as I would like to ensure your safety myself, unfortunately I must stay and continue patrolling in case anyone else is in danger. I will send some trusted guards to accompany you, so please be at ease."
"Thank you so much."
And with that, you were led away from the kindhearted Captain, questions swirling in your mind, just waiting for answers.
"Sir, your wrist—!"
Gepard paused as his fellow guard spoke up, his eyes going wide.
His subordinate was most likely referring to the small gash left behind after the earlier scuffle, but something else had caught the blonde's eye.
Right in the spot where the Fragmentum monster's weapon had sliced his long-sleeved uniform open, his countdown lay motionless on his flesh, all numbers now at zero.
How long had it been as such?! Certainly not for too long, as he had obviously long since met every guard here—
It hit him.
The Captain whipped his head around at once, but you were long gone, likely already being escorted home by one of his many subordinates.
Despite the lack of surefire confirmation, however, Gepard was almost certain he knew precisely who you were. He tried not to let the heat rising to his cheeks show, lest the fluttering of his heart become obvious to all.
"...I suppose I should pay their family a small visit."
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furiousgoldfish · 11 months
Text
Getting disillusioned from your past is an extremely painful experience, and it hurts even worse when we're expected to not feel hurt from that.
What do you mean parents who I struggled to impress and who I loved all my life actually didn't care about me at all. What do you mean I was alone during the formative years of my life and nobody was in my corner and I grew up severely damaged by neglect and trauma due to it. What do you mean I haven't experience genuine love for any moment of my life.
I was in there, dreaming. I was building a life from straws and sand that I was able to grasp and glue together into an illusion of a family. I kept telling myself 'okay, but if this worse thing happened, then I would be protected, then it would be taken seriously, then it would matter.' I thought that's what we were all supposed to do? Every single time I said a word I would hear 'They're your parents and they're just doing what's best for you', what do you mean it was all a lie, every single time?
I was encouraged to put together a life that felt bearable to grow up in, so I wouldn't have to live in the worst possible option. The alternative was living in the world where every single person is an active danger to me and I am supposed to feel tense and terrified for every second of my life. To find out now, that it was not real? That I made everything up, that people were actively telling me to keep making it up, and to now find out I was alone all along, and I was hurt, for a long time, and nobody did anything? I was betrayed by every single person around me, since I was a baby? Everything I held onto was imaginary, every bit of trust and hope and love I held onto so dearly, never even existed?
That feels like wrenching hope out of my shaking arms when I'm still holding onto it to live. It feels like the entire inner world crashed and I don't know who anyone is, and I can't trust myself to find out, because I was wrong every single time I tried. Every event turns into pain. Every memory hurts like a burning wound. It's not 'starting over', it's being plunged into depth and the world closing in on you, showing you a face that you couldn't let yourself see because it would have broken you. And it's breaking you now.
To finally see your situation and your past as traumatic and devastating as it was, it's almost completely unbearable. Nobody should be expected to face that on somebody else's terms, or to suddenly be okay with it. It's not only a loss of an illusion, it's a loss of one's entire past, only to be replaced with a cruel, empty and abandonment-filled version. It's to realize you've been dreaming yourself a family while being alone in a dark cell with rocks thrown at you.
So be gentle with people who still partly live in that illusion, or who are struggling to break out of it. Yes, living in it is dangerous and painful, but breaking out takes a toll few could accept or manage. Nobody should be pushed or hurried up to go thru this devastation. Nobody should be forced to deal with this pain.
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aroreiel · 2 months
Text
So I started writing this initial one shot POV a long time ago, I think in October. I know, right now, I'm not in a good headspace to write at the moment so I haven't done anything with this in a little while. So I've decided I just want to post what I've got now anyway for you all to read and, hopefully, I'll try and complete it some time in the future. So here it is. The gif accompanying it was my inspiration for it. Hope you enjoy it. ❤
Joseph Quinn x 1st person (minors DNI! Not overly smutty but close references. Swearing, fingering, heavy flirtation etc. I can't remember what else.)
Risky Distractions
The interview seemed okay. I mean it was more engaging than the many interviews before it. With questions that Joseph hadn't been asked a million times already. This time they were relevant, they were thought through. The interviewer was even listening to his answers, fucking hell! Not like others who were itching to spit out the next scripted blurb before he could finish. This was rare. And yet, he was different here. I could see in his eyes he was distant, like he wasn't in the room. He was looking at the interviewer and nodding, smiling with a warmth that spread across his face and into the creases of his eyes. Those deep eyes that just lit up. He was honest, he was earnest. It was adorable. It was perfect. HE was perfect. I'm glad I was sitting down. I was exhausted.
So what wrong with him? I could see it and yet no one else could. He seemed distracted. Is something irritating him? I was supposed to be keeping notes, but I'm hugging my notepad like my life depended on it. His eyes suddenly flicked towards me in such a flit, it would almost be impossible to the naked eye if I wasn't already looking at him so intensely. There were plenty of other people in the room, but that gaze was straight at me. I felt it. It made me nervous. But then he always made me nervous. He also made me shake and shiver and...anyway, it didn't seem like anyone else was even paying attention to what he...
...Oh my god, he then did something with his tongue. It almost protruded through the inside of his cheek. Shit. Now this made me panic. What would that look like from an audience perspective? The interviewer didn't notice, thank god. Did anyone else? No, it was just me. This seemed deliberate. It appeared to look like he was just pondering on her latest question, which he could have been doing. I then began feeling that this was all in my overactive imagination...until his eyes did that flit in my direction again. This was for me. My face flushed. The corners of my mouth went up into a wry smile, as I looked around to see if anybody was now looking at me. They weren't. My heart started to beat a little faster now. This isn't what I think it is.
Oh god. This was dangerous. I needed to know. I wondered if I could get his attention without interrupting the interview. I unhooked myself from my papers and then began scribbling on one piece. As I finished I held it in front of me.
'What are you thinking, Quinn?'
Biting my bottom lip, I waited for him to notice. Oh, he knew how to be coy, he'd been so good at it up until now. So I knew he'd have no trouble letting me know what was going on in that beautiful head of his. I waited for an answer. Not expecting what was coming next.
Without even interrupting the flow of the interview I saw those dark eyes subtly shift in my direction. As he tried not to engage me, his hand then went up to his face and slowly his slid fingers over his mouth and continued up to his nose...and inhaled. Inhaling as if it was invading his senses. Then as quickly as it started, his eyes reverted back to the interviewer, but not before he sucked and pursed his lips on the way. He was back in the room. My heart stopped. I crumbled inside.
Oh god. Our morning secret. In the back of his taxi, waiting for the driver to return to take us to the studio. We'd been resisting each other for weeks, the tension would build every moment we were in the same room. But that taxi was where it all, for lack of better words 'came to a head'. For some reason I was more nervous this time, but we couldn't ignore the tension any longer. I'd uncrossed my legs and shuffled in my seat. Staring straight ahead, trying not to look obvious, he'd had placed his hand on my thigh, caressing it gently as it then crept its way up my loose, conservative skirt. It was too slow. The driver would've been back at any moment. So I guided his hand more swiftly to its destination, and he knew what to do next. Massaging, kneading, then slipping his fingers into my now wet folds, he worked his magic, back and forth, then in and out. God, he knew what he was doing. I felt every nerve ending in my body shake. My panic set in as I noticed the driver heading back. "We need to stop." The smirk on his face as he noticed him too...his thrill as he picked up his pace, faster and faster until my head flipped back and everything became a blur. "Just in time, baby." He uttered, as the driver seat door snapped open, and I'd sat back up straight as I adjust my skirt and crossed my legs. Both of us trying to behave like nothing had happened. But I couldn't help but notice a subtle look of complete satisfaction on his face. Bastard.
That was only this morning. I hadn't even had time to change my underwear. We got on with the day as if nothing had happened, focused on the tasks that faced us.
I awkwardly began pulling at the dress material that was sitting just in between my thighs. Trying to release the heat that I could feel spreading there. Again. I felt a shake through my body. Looking around to see if anyone could see it. I then caught a glimpse of Joseph in my peripheral. One corner of his mouth twitched slightly upwards. He saw it.
Well two could play this game. And I didn't care if anyone saw. I wasn't going to make this easy for him. Just thinking about what he did with those fingers earlier that day... it had wrecked me. And we nearly got caught. I'd been trying to keep myself composed all day. But just this one dirty move from him in front of these cameras undid all of that. Everyone now began moving around as if things were about to wrap up. I looked at the time. One minute left until the interview would draw to a close. One minute to make him squirm.
The faces around me were too busy now to care. I kept my eyes locked onto his and, with a smirk, I lightly pressed my hand into a fist and began squeezing slowly. Then my first finger flicked up as if it sprung for attention. I placed in it my mouth and suggestion took over. His eyes did that flit again.
Nothing else. No other sign, no other flinch. He carried on answering the final, now mundane question that the interviewer posed to him. He had that same bright smile, same thoughtful response. Professional. Endearing. He was so fucking good.
This will do it. Immediately a tremble travelled through my body as I carefully, slowly slid my hand down and under the hem of my dress, and began adjusting myself there. Well it wasn't like I didn't need to. I hitched the hem up higher so he could see what I was doing. Biting my bottom lip, my eyes watched for any sign of awkwardness, fidgeting, annoyance...hunger. Anything.
Nothing. Maybe I wasn't so good at this after all. Disappointment and embarrassment washed over me as I straightened my dress and calmed my now redundant trembles with subtle, slow, deep breaths. I just wanted to find the nearest dark corner and hide there until he'd left the room. I knew I couldn't avoid him for long. But right now, I felt so fucking stupid for falling for it. While looking around almost frantically for that space, Joseph now pushed his long frame out of the chair, politely shook hands with the interviewer and was ushered over to a brighter spot of the backdrop for photos with her. I stopped and watched as the interviewer wrapped her arm around his back, as if she'd be eager so to do it from beginning. I couldn't blame her. Bitch. But he never wavered. He lightly rested his wrist on her small of her back, his hand not touching, only hovering. God, he was so respectful, so...
"You'll need to show him back to his private room so we can set up the next interview." a voice from behind me jolted me back into the room.
"Sure, that's fine." It really wasn't. Not now.
"I never asked if it was okay." they snapped, walking away.
Taking a deep breath, I took my steps forward in his direction. Then I froze on the spot as I saw him walking towards me in what only could be described as brisk and purposeful. The expression on his face, his eyes were dark and they were latched onto me. I swallowed the heart that just leapt into my throat. I couldn't tell whether he was annoyed or angry. Not sure I wanted to know, but I was about to find out.
"How long before the next interview?" he was quick to ask.
"Twenty minutes."
I felt a grip tighten around my bicep. "Well you better be able to keep up with me." Just as I realised that grasp was his, he swiftly ushered me out of the studio door, taking care to make sure nobody noticed the brisk pace we were going at. I was struggling to keep up as we made our way down the chilly corridor, which felt like a relief cooling down my now flushed face.
He was through the private door first, with me trailing along behind. It was like whiplash as I'd barely even stepped through the door, when he spun around to face me and, with his arms stretched over my shoulders, slammed the door shut behind me and forced his body weight into mine, pinning me against the door. He found my stare and his eyes bore into mine, a dark wanton expression spread across them. It didn't take me long to realise my pulsating heart had now sunk to the depths in-between my thighs.
"Did you think I didn't notice?"
My breath hitched with his whispered words as his lips lunged, finding a sensitive part of my neck, nipping a tugging at my skin.
"Hitching up your dress like that, in a room full of people? Fuck, you're a bad girl, you know that?"
I felt my legs shake underneath me, as I reached forward and gripped his waist to steady myself. Tingling coarsed through my veins. I was already out of breath. "And what about you? The stunt you pulled during your interview. Don't think I didn't see that."
"Oh that was intentional, and all for you sweetheart."
"Fifteen minutes." I breathed, reminding him of his next interview.
He suddenly grabbed my hands from his waist and wrapped them around his neck. Then tucking his hands under my thighs, lifted me up and carried me over to the table furthest from the door and settled me on it.
TO BE CONTINUED
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Y'all ever go through Hobie withdrawals?
I'm not playin. Like getting so stressed with general life things that your brain is like MORE HOBIE and all you wanna do is stare at photos of him until you can climb into the screen and hang off of him like a sloth like
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But you can't so you just sit down and listen to music that reminds you of him and stare at photos of him and act like that's enough even though it's not enough but you just have to Cope and Not Snap
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These photos are the only things keeping me from going Miguel Mode I wish this was a funny haha post but girl this is a cry for help
My silly little stories can't save me
When they drop that BTSV trailer and I see that first glimpse of him I'm going to become a danger to myself and everyone around me
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Girl. Anyone. Please. AHHHHHH - Alright I'm fine I'm okay. I'm fine.
Hobie. Need more Hobie. Stressy stressed and need Hobie.
Anyone else experience this? ANYONE? AHHHHH
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babydipper · 7 months
Text
They end up curled up on the floor, Sirius’s arm over Reggie's waist as the only point of contact. Small lights are flying in front of them like little fates in the form of stars. Reggie knows everything about the sky but listens to Sirius talk anyway. It's almost like being eight again in the basement at home, when Father’s wrath was something so bad even Mother would rather have them hidden from it. Reggie treasures the memory of Mother's magic floating around. It's one of the favourites.
They don't talk, it's more like white noise, the way Sirius tells the stories of constellations. The shards are still inside Reggie's hands and if the palms are placed in the right direction, they reflect the light. It occupies Reggie for a while, the game of glistens, but then the pain turns into something uncomfortable and so Reggie asks to substitute one with the other:
“Have you ever felt wrong in your body?”
Sirius stops, abruptly, his story about the Leo constellation. He hesitates for a moment and Reggie can feel it, wondering if the answer will ever come. “Like out of place?”
“Mhm.”
“I- well, yes, I think. Or not. It was more the case of not looking the way I wanted to look. So not with the body exactly, no. More with being unable to do what I wanted to do with it.”
“Hm.”
“I bet the lion felt wrong with its body, though,” Sirius whispers and his finger traces patterns on Reggie's skin. “The steel skin must have felt uncomfortable,” Reggie says nothing to that but watches the heart of the lion made out of the light anyway. Regulus stares back. “Why do you want Mother and Father dead?”
“Is there any other way to stop them?” Reggie snarls. “If you know one, feel free to share.”
“Why do you want to stop them?”
“Because there's no way to follow them,” Reggie says in the most vulnerable moment ever. “I'm not the daughter they wanted anymore, Sirius. I wish I could go back and be her, but I can’t.”
“I don't think there's anyone that could please them. You were perfect and it wasn't enough.”
“That's because I wasn't you.” And oh. Sirius's finger stops. Reggie can feel the shallow breaths. “I don't know who I am, but I am not you.”
“And you're not her,” Sirius whispers.
It helps that they are not looking at each other. That it's dark and that Reggie doesn't have to face anything but the heart of the lion. The tiredness overflows the body and the mind and nothing matters anymore. The only people that exist in the whole universe are the two of them, no one else. If they are the last people on the Earth, Reggie might as well confess all the sins. “No, I am not her.”
“I feel like I don’t know you anymore,” Sirius confesses, too. “We knew each other best and now I don’t know you anymore.”
“It’s okay,” Reggie soothes in the tone that is reserved for Sirius and Sirius only. Always has been. When he got beaten up. When he was starved. When he was lonely. “I don’t know myself anymore either.”
There’s a beat of silence and then:
“If I had asked, would you have come?”
Another beat.
“No. But you never asked.” And another. “If I asked to go, would you have let me?”
“No, but you haven’t asked either.”
It hurts. It hurts so much it fills their veins. Reggie thinks that everything has been filled with liquid pain. It hurts, but all they seem to know now is how to hurt, so they stay in the stasis like they always do. Reggie wants to turn to face Sirius and claw his heart out, step on it, eat it, destroy it. They need to blend into one, become one and maybe then they will be perfect and enough for their parents. Maybe then they will deserve to be alive.
But the thing is Walburga and Orion never liked it when they played together or spent time together, especially growing up. The united front was dangerous, Reggie realises now. The first thing Reggie came to Sirius with in years was parricide, so maybe their parents are right. The two of them in unison are dangerous and rabid and a force to be reckoned with. Having them separated was the only option to control them. And even then, Sirius got out.
Maybe Walburga and Orion are scared of them, too.
Maybe they should be.
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morgandoesstuffsig · 2 years
Text
affection. [TMC]
alt. title; how do the victims react to affection from you?
warnings/tws; mentions of MAD, foreshadowing, mentions of alternates
req. by; none
chars. used; Mark Heathcliff, Cesar Torres, Jonah Marshall, Adam Murray.
song of the day; Ruler of Everything - Tally Hall
a/n's; i love tally hall <333
by continuing from this point on you understand that it is your fault if you see any opinions that you do not agree with and that make you mad. you will not take it out on me or anyone else who enjoys/agrees with them, and you especially will not do anything illegal/dangerous to them or myself.
images do not belong to me and belong to their rightful owners.
by continuing from this point on you understand that it is your fault if you see any opinions that you do not agree with and that make you mad. you will not take it out on me or anyone else who enjoys/agrees with them, and you especially will not do anything illegal/dangerous to them or myself.
images do not belong to me and belong to their rightful owners.
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MARK HEATHCLIFF.
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so imagine this;
you two are chilling on the couch, infront of the tv
it's off, of course, and we all know why
doesn't stop you two from talking though
and you guys keep talking and when you stop, you guys realize it's super late
and dark
and you shouldn't be heading outside for any reason,
so mark lets you stay over!! (what a gentleman)
and so you get prepared to sleep on the couch and everything,
but mark is like, nonono what are you doing
because he is very nice and doesn't want you sleeping on the couch
it's bad for your posture!!!
"(Y/N), what are you doing?" He asks after seeing you lay your now folded-up hoodie on the couch.
"Getting ready for bed? Why, is there something you need?" You reply, tilting your head to side, as you didn't see as what he was getting at.
"You shouldn't be sleeping on the couch, it's bad for you, you know?"
"Is there anywhere else for me to sleep?" You said, jokingly.
"Yeah, I was going to let you sleep in my bed while I slept on the couch.."
needless to say, that was unexpected
but you couldn't just take his bed and then make him sleep on the couch in his house!!
you keep declining, but he just won't give up..
"It's your house! I can't just kick you out of your own bed!" You said, trying to reason with him.
"You're not kicking me out of my own bed, I'm willingly offering it to you!" He argued back.
this went on for a while until you finally caved.
"Okay, okay! I'll sleep in your bed! It just.. I don't know.." You said, but something told you that you should not be alone. Not now. Not tonight. It also told you that Mark shouldn't be alone either.
"It's just what?" He asked, curiosity getting the best of him after a while.
"Something is... wrong, or no, will be wrong. I don't know what or when, but I just know it." You said, gripping onto your (shorts/pants.) He looked at you and then away, scratching the back of his head.
"I could... sleep in the room with you... if you'd like... Not on the bed, just next to it, on the floor.." He offered, a light blush dusting his face.
well shit
that feeling is telling you to, so obviously you do!!
so now you're in his bed, all tucked in because
who doesn't love being tucked in
like???
but now you're just laying down and all of a sudden
you hear
soft snores
coming from the side of the bed
so you turn around and guess what!!!
it's a sleeping mark fucking heathcliff
IN THE WILD!!!
AND YOU GET TO SEE IT!!!!
"...Lord have mercy on my soul, this is a sight to behold..."
as you look at him longer,, you silently reach your hand out for his hair and start brushing it
he will lean into your hand contently until you fall asleep
and then when he wakes up with you fast-asleep with one hand in his hair
he just...
explodes
526 words.
CESAR TORRES.
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now in this case, since he's dead from he start, he's an alternate here, too
but he's friendly!!
to you only, though.
anyone else,,, :grimace:
but because he's an alternate, he hasn't actually really had any affection towards him
so this feeling is new to him
and he's not expecting it, especially not after he just finished driving someone MAD and coming home covered in blood,
so when you hold his hand and walk him to the bathroom to get cleaned up, he is extremely confused
aren't you afraid?
"Come on, now. You're like, 7 feet tall and I have shorter arms than you do, so you gotta work with me and bend down! I have ta' getcha all cleaned up!" You said, struggling to reach the alternate's face. It looked down at you and did as it was told, a small trace of shock across it's face was evident.
"...Aren't you afraid?" He asked as you wiped off the blood on his face with a paper towel.
"Afraid? Of what? You?" You replied, a smile crossing your face.
"Yes. Everyone is scared of alternates, so why aren't you acting scared?"
"Because I'm not. Don't ya' think that if I was scared of you after living with you for months now, I would've gone MAD by now?"
"..."
"Yeah, thought so. Now let's clean up that suit of yours, can't have random people's blood in our apartment, now can we?" You said, grabbing his hand once again.
"Why do you do that?"
"Hmm? Do what?"
"Grab my hand. Why?"
oh poor thing
he has no idea why you hold his hand
so when you tell him it's a form of affection,,, he just
short circuits
like
you, a human, is giving him, and alternate,,
affection???
he doesn't know why, but he does like it
he likes being given affection, and he tries his best to return it
but he's not used to giving nor receiving it, so it'll take a while
You feel two arms wrap around you as you put in a load of clothes into the laundry machine. You turn your head around and then upwards to see Cesar holding you.
"What's up bud?" You say, smiling up at him.
"...Affection."
"Oh? Do you want some--"
"No, I want to return affection.. You always give others affection but I don't see others returning it a lot..."
"...oh. W-well, thank you for the hug, Cesar!"
405 words.
JONAH MARSHALL.
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this little mf will be so cocky about receiving any affection from you
like he'd be the type of person to yell out,
"hey ya'll, (Y/N) hugged me and not you, bozos!!!"
you can't tell me i'm wrong..!
imagine in the rare occasion
that he goes into the house
instead of adam, you decide to go in with him because
you're nice like that
and you have to stay there for a night or two
so you lay out your sleeping bag, but guess what?
somebody was an idiot and forgot their fucking sleeping bag.
you're a really nice person soo...
"Aww shit... I forgot my fucking sleeping bag." He sighed out and stopped rummaging through his bag.
"You could use mine. I think I'll just stay awake tonight, just in case. Plus, you seem tired, and I'm not, so it just makes sense." You offered.
"WOAHWOAHWOAH, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE YOUR ONLY SLEEPING BAG AWAY FROM YOU AFTER I ALREADY DRAGGED YOU INTO THIS HOUSE--"
"It's okay. If you don't want my sleeping bag, that's fine, but I'd recommend using it." You shrugged, stretching your arms out.
"But what about you? You shouldn't stay up late-- it's bad for you and-"
"Would you rather share the sleeping bag then?"
"GRK! WHA-- I mean-- if that's okay with you- I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything.." He mumbled, his face heating up.
so now here you are,
a sleeping jonah on your lap all wrapped up in a sleeping bag
as you sit down, back pressed up against the wall as you keep an eye out for anything
...but you can't help but look at jonah,,
he's just so cute when he's sleeping!
he's so cute when he's not a little gremlin <333
you put your hands in his hair and give it a little floof
you slowly see the sun rise up through the window after hours of keeping your eyes peeled
you smile and finally let yourself drift off to sleep, but not before jonah wakes up and sees you just barely close your eyes.
as soon as you fall asleep, he slowly gets up and turns his body towards you, pulling you into a soft and warm hug.
"I told you to go to sleep, you dumbass." He whispered, rubbing your back.
394 words.
ADAM MURRAY.
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he doesn't exactly give out physical affection all the time, it's just not really his thing, but that doesn't stop him from doing so anyways
but he is good at quality time!! (he is very good at that!!)
one time you were falling asleep in the backseat of the car with adam because jonah was mad at him and shoved him back there
so your head just started to lean and then
plop
right on his shoulder
he was surprised, but you were half-asleep and didn't even notice
so he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you a little closer
put his head on your (head/shoulder,)
and fell asleep too.
he woke up a couple minutes later and started whispering innocent, sweet nothings into your ear.
you were still asleep, but he wanted to make sure you knew how much he cared about you.
"...you're so gorgeous. How did I get so lucky to have you right next to me?"
"and you're so brave, going after these alternates and not even catching a slight case of MAD..."
"God, you are so perfect, always here for me and others, you deserve the world... and I'm going to try my best to give it to you, no matter the cost."
to say jonah was a third wheel in this moment would be an understatement
but hey!
you two are happy,
aren't you?
enjoy it while it lasts.
238 words.
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THE END.
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cottoncandytomu · 1 year
Note
Omg you got me obsessed with dark Abby too OML
Heheheehehe welcome to the darkside~
Dark! Abby Anderson x Reader up ahead 🫡🫡
NEW DARK! ABBY X F!READER HERE
BUT LISTEN Dark! Abby is EVERYTHING!!
(18+ Minors + Ageless Accounts (pls just put age in bio I beg) DO NOT INTERACT!! Cursing, Dark/Violent Themes ofc - also slight bullying towards Abby FOR THE PLOT I WOULD NEVERRRRR. If you call lightly skimming as proofreading then it was uhh semi- proofread )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
She is always finding a way to stick by your side, never letting you go on patrol alone because she can't trust anyone to watch over you the way she can. There was a time when they tried to put you on patrol with someone other than her and she may or may not have threatened a few people to get on that patrol as well.
"Abby! I didn't think you were on this patrol with me."
Your eyes lit up at the mere sight of her and she swore her heart stopped for a second, "Yeah, the other soldier couldn't make it so I took their place."
Abby's thoughts wandered as she remembered how she got to this point~
-
Lucas was eagerly walking to start his patrol for the day, he got word that he was going to be on with a certain girl he's had his eye on ever since he recently joined the WLF. He was talking it up to a friend of his, George, on the way to the front.
"You'll never guess who they got me paired with." A sly grin forming on his face.
"You're right I wont, who the hell is it?"
"Remember the hot girl who's around the stadium?"
"That's helpful. C'mon man be more specific!" George complains.
Lucas rolls his eyes, "The one who always has that overly brolic woman watching over her like a freak."
"Oh~ I know exactly who you're talking about now, you're treading in some dangerous territory. Abby isn't one to be fucked with."
Lucas scoffs, "What would she really do anyway, plus she isn't on this patrol with her like she usually is."
"Fuck, that never usually happens, I'd say you're a lucky man but this is Abby we're talking about. I know you've heard the rumors." George shivers at the thought of crossing her path.
Lucas scoffs, "And that's exactly what they are, rumors."
"Good luck with that then, anyways I gotta go. See ya around!" George doesn't wait for Lucas to say his goodbyes and goes his own way. As he's walking down the side of the stadium he forcefully gets pulled into a secluded area.
"What the fuck?!" He yells ready to go after the person who grabbed him until he collides with a broad chest, looking up into the eyes of the aggressor his words get caught in his throat.
"Hello Lucas~" Abby smirks at him.
Lucas still in shock doesn't say anything else so Abby continues, "Nice conversation you just had, brolic was alright but I can assure you that freak doesn't cover half of it. Maybe I should educate you a bit on those rumors you seem to not be so familiar with."
Abby emerges from the secluded area, smoothing over her bright red knuckles she continues down to the armory to sign out for her newly found patrol. As she enters through the gate she sees you finishing you sign up.~
-
Abby's thought is cut short when she feels your hand touch hers, electricity runs through her hand and up her arm, her eyes are instantly on yours.
"Are you okay Abby? You were dazed there for a second."
Abby lets out a soft smile at your concern towards her, she nods. "Just thinking, c'mon lets finish getting our gear and head out."
Abby takes your arm in hers leading the way.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
OKAY OKAY I MAY HAVE WROTE A LIL' TOO MUCH THAN I WANTED SKFHSDFJKH
There will definitely be more Dark! Abby coming so stay tuned my beauties~
As always thank you for reading and I got much more fics I'm working on, lets hope I don't overload myself ahahaaaaaa~
Feedback is always appreciated, BAII~
=^.^= ~
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lunerna21 · 7 months
Text
***I'm going to apologize now this is probably a long post but I just need to vent about this masterpiece of an event!***
I can full heartedly say Glorious Masquerade is giving me life again 😌
JUST EVERYONE BEING SUPER FUNNY AND NICE TO THE MC BUT I CANNOT STOP GUSHING ABOUT EVERYTHING INVOLVING THIS EVENT!!
FIRST OF ALL, I LOVE HOW MUCH OF A SWEETHEART DEUCE IS TO US!
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DEUCE SPADE IS SOMEONE EVERYONE NEEDS IN THEIR LIFE HE IS JUST ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE AND I LOVE LOVE LOVEEE HIM
*cough* *cough* Unlike ANOTHER person who is a cheeky asshole who should learn from Deuce (I’m kidding I love you too Ace you stupid bastard)
The Grim and Malleus banter back and forth is fucking hysterical from us freaking out about not knowing who Malleus was previously to messing around ITS SO GODDAMN PERFECT
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AND MALLEUS BEING SO INTERESTED IN SPENDING TIME WITH US LIKE ALCHENFIENDJ I LOVE YOU MALLEUS!!
(And Grim being protective of us 🥹❤️)
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And Idia trying to convince Grim to sit in his lap 😂👏🏻
SEBEK ASKING AZUL TO SIT IN HIS LAP SO HE CAN BE CLOSE TO WAKA SAMA!? CRYING AT HOW SERIOUS SEBEK WAS!
I’d like to imagine we were sandwiched between Rollo and Malleus MY GOD THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM WOULD IGNITE THE WHOLE TOWN
Also, was anyone else crying and cringing deep DEEP inside when they keep saying so many good things about “The Righteous Judge”!?!
LIKE I WAS SEETHING AT THE FACT THAT EVERYONE COMPLIMENTED HIM AND KEPT GIVING HIM PRAISE
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LIKE NO GRIM YOU ARE MORE GALLANT THAN THAT CREEPY OLD MAN PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT
IF ONLY THEY KNOW WHAT THAT MAN HAD DONE I HATE HOW OFTEN THEY COMPLIMENT HIM I JUST WANNA LAUNCH MYSELF THROUGH THE GAME AND DESTROY THAT DAMN STATUE
......But at least they're giving tons of lore, easter eggs and praise for both Esmeralda and Quasimodo (BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY ACTUALLY DESERVE IT)
But Rollo just trying to convince us that there shouldn't be magic or mages....
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…..Rollo honey noooooo that’s not how I see it
I mean yes, we’ve been through so much goddamn shit with the overblotters (CROWLEY AND ALSO ADEUCE ALONG WITH GRIM, I LOVE YOU GUYS BUT LIKE WTF) but to the point of subjugating people to potentially lose their magic permanently?!
Something they’ve probably worked hard for? Nah, that’s not okay
I would love to learn more about magic anything beats the curriculum in schools here in the US
THEN SEEING HOW MALLEUS ALMOST PASSED OUT FROM THE FIRELOTUSES!? THAT HAD ME REELING LIKE MALLEUS DRACONIA HIMSELF!? LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE!!
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YASSSSS SILVER AND SEBEK! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!! MALLEUS HAS THE BEST GUARDS
BUT ONE FUCKING PART HAD ME ON MY KNEES READY TO FIGHT ROLLO!!
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CARD SOLDIER!? CARD SOLDIERRRRR!?!
MY BOI IS BECOMING A MAN
MY BOI IS BECOMING A MAN
MY BOI IS BECOMING A MAN AND I CAN'T STOP BEING HAPPY FOR HIM EVEN THOUGH HE'S IN THE MIDST OF DANGER
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…But anyway I’m getting psyched to see the last two parts cause this event is FULFILLING MY HAPPINESS ITS TOO MUCH
And Malleus Draconia….My sweetheart…❤️❤️❤️
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE IS JUST TOO MUCH I LOVE THIS MAN!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I cannot wait for the next part of the event, IM DYING TO SEE JAMIL AND RUGGIE BOND OVER USING OTHERS TO KEEP THEMSELVES SAFE!!
Now let me go daydream scenarios with all these lovable people while I wait for the next part, AND FINALLY WATCH THE FIRST PART OF STAGE IN PLAYFUL LAND! (ACE TRAPPOLA I NEED TO SEE YOUR SPOTLIGHT)
Enjoy the rest of your day, everyone~~~!!!❤️
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catt-leya · 2 years
Text
Seduction Pt.1 (18+) || Rick Grimes
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Summary: Rick knows you want him and does something that is not right. He realizes his mistake and wants to apologize to you and make amends 😌💗
Trigger: the usual dirty content I'm writing 😉
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You throw back your long ponytail and stare at the sky, from which the sun shines relentlessly on you and your group.
You've been on the road for days, and you don't know if you'll ever find somewhere to live for more than a few days.
As you are looking up your best friend Glenn nudges you from the side and you wince in surprise because you didn't see him coming.
With a nod of his head, he points to your group, which is getting farther and farther away, and asks, "Are you okay?"
You nod and murmur, "Do you think we'll be on the road much longer?"
Gently pulling you along by the arm so your group doesn't get too far away from you, he replies, "I hope not. We shouldn't be out this long."
You approach your group and your gaze drifts to the front of the group. Rick is walking with Daryl at the very front, leading you through the heat. There's a small group of walkers running behind you, but Rick has decided it doesn't need the effort yet.
You stare at Rick's sweaty back, and through the shirt that's clinging to him you can see very clearly the muscles moving under the shirt with each of his strides.
Rick feels your eyes on him, but doesn't dare to turn around to you.
He knows exactly which way you're looking at him and to be honest, it's impossible for anyone to miss the way you're looking at him and fuck, he's enjoying it a lot.
He has often toyed with the idea of putting his lips on yours when you're blabbering in a complete frenzy, but he's never actually done it. Instead, he enjoys you undressing him with your eyes and wincing every time he touches you even minimally.
You could say it's unfair of him, but he's never directly gotten your hopes up for more, but always catches himself toying with the idea of wanting more. Since there are clearly other priorities at the moment, though, he grits his teeth and blocks out the image of you begging to take his cock in his mouth as best he can, and when he sees a bridge, he says, addressing everyone, "We'll take care of the walkers behind us now."
Beside you Glenn pulls you up slightly, "Your lover has spoken."
Immediately tearing your gaze away from Rick, you hiss, "He's not my lover."
Amused, Glenn's eyes glitter as he says lightly, "Wait and see."
You're not really good at hiding your feelings and because of that, Glenn quickly realized you're totally into Rick and it doesn't matter that a few years separate you from Rick's aging. The way he appears and is respected by everyone without any restrictions make all your fantasies run on high. It's pure authority that emanates from him and it didn't take long for you to fall for him completely.
Rick calls out some names and then calmly says, "Everyone else go to the end of the bridge and wait for us." It's only then that you realize he's just benching you and take a small step toward him, "I can help."
His ridiculous blue eyes meet yours and he replies, "I know. Still, I want you to go to the end of the bridge."
His tone doesn't allow for argument, but you don't want to be treated like a child, or someone unable to perform dangerous tasks to protect the group. That's why you jut your chin up and offer him a frown for once, "And I want to make myself useful, Rick."
Hearing his name from your lips goes straight to his head but he doesn't back down, "I know you do. But not today."
He sees everyone watching the conversation like a tennis match and when you open your mouth again to say something back, he grabs your arm and pulls you behind him to the sparse row of trees on the side of the road.
His hand burns on your skin and you notice directly how your whole body reacts to this harmless touch.
It is extremely rare that you are alone with Rick and you are even more confused that he doesn't let go of your arm even when you are already standing behind a tree.
You put your head back and say softly, "Let me help. You know I'm more than capable."
In fact, he realizes he doesn't have to worry about you, but he himself can concentrate much better knowing you're not in imminent danger.
He sees how determined you are not to hide and do something out of desperation that he really doesn't want to do. Rick plays the knowledge that you desire him against you.
You flinch as his hand, which was resting on your forearm, slides to your wrist and he pulls you closer to him.
Immediately you stagger a step towards him and the heat shoots straight into your cheeks. Usually you are never this close to him and every time you take a breath (which works rather badly than well right now), your breasts brush against his body.
You can't make another sound as he leans in and his beard brushes your jaw and you feel his lips against your ear, "I imagine you can do a lot of things, but I want you to do what I want you to do."
Your heart stops as he pulls your hand even closer to him and you catch yourself on his stomach to avoid colliding with him. As soon as he notices you touching him, he tightens his grip, knowing you won't pull your hand away.
He can't deny that he's incredibly turned on by the whole game but he tries to focus on his goal, miserably trying to ignore how good your hair smells and your body feels pressed against his. Your small hand feels so good on his body that he almost forgets why he started this in the first place and places his free hand low on your back.
He feels you tremble in his arms and is surprised himself at how rough his voice is as he whispers, "Are you doing what I want?"
Your mind goes blank and you don't shift quickly enough to what he's getting at, so you whimper softly, "Anything."
You're not sure if you're imagining it, but you think you hear Rick moan softly before he pulls away from you and says with a veiled look, "Good. Then keep walking across the bridge with the others."
That's the moment you realize what he's done and you stammer, "You…I…You didn't do that now?!"
He takes another step backwards and clears his throat, "Did what?"
Blood rushes to your ears and any shame is forgotten as you take a step toward him and hiss, "You know damn well I have a crush on you. Everyone seems to know it and you're really using that to wrap me around your finger and get me to cross that fucking bridge."
Briefly you think you see guilt in his eyes, but you're not done yet, "You're unbelievable. You know what? I'm going across this fucking bridge, but not because you want me to, but because I don't feel like having to look at you for even a second longer."
You turn around and when he grabs your arm to stop you from leaving you lunge with your other to punch him, but he reacts faster than you expect and catches your tiny fist halfway before saying softly, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
You try to break free of his grasp, but he's stronger than you, so you groan in frustration, "Right."
As you look him in the eye, you have to swallow hard. The days you've spent out in the open have left a mark on him, and you can't help but see how handsome he is despite his long beard and dirty face.
His features soften and he says softly, "I want to be honest with you. I'd rather know you are not in danger…then I won't always feel the need to jump between you and a walker, though of course I know you can take care of yourself."
He can read quite clearly in your face how you are processing his words, and dares to let go of your hands and give yourself space now that you seem calmer.
Slowly, you blink and then nod hesitantly, "Okay. I understand. But you could have just told me that."
He looks down at you and could smack himself for having to think about how small and helpless you are to him when the subject comes up. If he wanted to, he could just push you up against the tree behind you and shove his knee between your legs and he's sure you wouldn't even remotely resist him. Fuck, you'd probably be grinding against his leg right, grateful to be able to use his thigh and come.
Rick just stares at you and the way his eyes glisten makes your hands sweat, "Rick?"
Lazily, his gaze flits over your body, "Huh?"
He doesn't usually look at you like that, or always keeps a certain distance, but right now it feels like he can see through your clothes and you murmur, "I do."
Rick's mind is still on a completely different subject and at your words "I do" he sees you riding on his leg, but his last bit of sanity steers him in the right direction and he brings out a soft "Thank you."
This is the sign for you to go back to the others and roll your eyes when Glenn wiggles his eyebrows insinuatingly. You would never tell him what happened behind the trees, because you can avoid any comment from him.
So without a word, you do what Rick asked you to do and wait with a few others from your group so that the others can join you when they're done with the walkers.
There are hardly any problems with the tactics Rick has come up with and only a short time later we are all reunited and sat down at the edge of the forest to make camp for the night.
The exhaustion in the camp is impossible to miss, and you watch as one by one we fall into a fitful sleep.
Sighing, you pull the scrunchie out of your hair and are about to start braiding when you hear Rick's voice behind you, "Let me do it."
Surprised, you look up at him, "You can braid hair?"
Smiling, he sits down next to you, "Yes. My mother taught me."
Again, he is so close to you and you can't gauge if it would be wise to accept his offer.
Without further ado, he spreads his legs a bit, which he has placed in front of him, and taps on the free space between them, "Come on. I want to make up for acting like the biggest asshole earlier."
Waiting, he watches you slide hesitantly between his legs and, of course, flinches again as he reaches for your hair, his knuckles grazing the back of your neck.
Your soft hair slides through his hands and he says softly, "The way I acted wasn't right and I'm sorry."
Quietly I reply, "I know."
There is a comfortable silence until Rick quietly asks, "Hair tie?"
Silently you hand it back to him and when he says he's done it would be right to slide away from him, but your butt is stuck in place.
His hands slide from your hair to your shoulders and he dares to say, "I can make more amends if you'd like."
You can't bring yourself to make a sound, waiting to see what he'll do next.
Nothing happens for a moment, then his hands slide to your hips and he pulls you closer so your back is against his chest and he whispers in your ear, "Do you want this?"
Your whole body is on fire and you move even closer to him, but he hums softly, "You're going to have to say it, sweetheart."
The pet name makes you whimper, and all the blood flows from Rick's brain into his cock.
Fuck, he doesn't know how he's put up with being stared at by you for so long and not sinking his cock into your pussy.
With one hand he plays with the button of your jeans and you gasp softly, "Yes please, Rick."
Painfully, he pulls at the braided pigtail with his other hand, forcing your head back and before you can react, his mouth is already on yours. He's fantasized about it so many times that he moans into your mouth and you tremble all over. The kiss is anything but soft and gentle. His beard scratches uncomfortably against your chin, but his hand, now sliding between your legs, completely distracts you from it.
But he stops short of where you need his touch most and growls against your lips, "I bet you're wet and tight for me."
You gasp and he purrs, "So, am I right?"
You mumble miserably, "Yes." Because you're dying to feel his fingers, but he's nowhere near ready and continues to tease you, "I bet that happens to you all the time, that you get wet thinking about me. Making you wish I would stretch your little pussy and sink my cock inside you."
Moaning, your head falls against his shoulder, praying that everyone is really asleep because you sure as hell couldn't keep it down.
The way you squirm in his arms is a sight he would never forget. The way you thrust your hips towards him to get him to finger you.
You're like putty in his hands and he can't imagine anything hornier.
You're so willing for him to do anything to you and he harshly demands, "Pull your top up. I want to see your breasts."
In fact, you don't hesitate for a second to offer yourself up to him, and Rick bites down hard on his bottom lip when he sees the rosy peaks calling for his teeth. But he has other plans and kisses you on the corner of the mouth, "Take care on your own, understand?"
Hectically, you nod and moan loudly as you pinch your own sensitive nipples.
In this situation, you would do anything Rick said.
Shocked, you tear your eyes open as he puts his big hand over your mouth and whispers in your ear, "You don't want to wake the others."
Playfully, it slides a finger through your wet pussy and your whole body rears up.
The hand in your pants keeps teasing you, not really giving you what you need from Rick, and the other is so firmly on your mouth that it muffles every moan and whimper.
In your back you feel his hard cock and your vision is completely blurred with arousal. You don't know where up and down is anymore, he growls, "Fuck." And slides his finger inside you.
You can't suppress the cry and bite his hand, which makes his cock jerk against your back and he hisses, "You're tighter than I imagined. Fuck, you couldn't even let me inside your pussy properly. Let alone let me fuck you."
Panic that he might stop overwhelms you and you plead muffled through his hand, "Yes, please. I promise. I can take you. Don't stop."
Softly, he laughs, "Just let me do it."
Slowly he pushes a second finger inside you and the stretching makes you roll your eyes.
Your breasts are heavy in your hands and your whole body starts to twitch as he strokes your clit with his thumb and you release your hands from you and reach behind you.
As soon as you get to grab his neck you pull him closer to you by his hair.
His curls brush your cheek, "That's it. Come on my hand and make me proud, sweetheart."
Completely blinded by desire, you nod as best you can and Rick begins to draw slow circles over your clit, driving your little body further and further against his.
Without guard, he notices you pulsing as you tighten around his fingers and pushes them into you as much as he can.
As he does, you moan out and pull anything but gently at his hair.
One last twitch of your muscles overcomes you before you slump down and Rick takes his hand from your mouth.
Breathing in greedily, Rick puts his hands on your hips to steady you, "You did good."
Weakly you blink up at him and breathe, "Fuck me."
Softly he smiles at you and whispers, "Not today and not here."
You try to reach for him, but he just kisses you on the lips, "Have some patience."
Except patience really isn't your strong suit now.
@hail-yourselves @bean-is-reading @chanlvr2 @criminalwalkingsupernatural @sunshinevirus
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