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#sirius angst
ilovejegulus · 9 months
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Sirius *I think your house is haunted,Your dad is always mad and that must be why*Black
James* I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates then you won't have to cry or hide in the closet* Potter
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starkingdraws · 1 month
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Sad siri
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aspiring-artist-em · 6 months
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They never got married.
Not really.
But Sirius likes to count the one time they went to London and used the muggle marriage machine. It was like magic, how the screen lit up and displayed vows. Sirius was hanging onto his lover's arm as he input their names.
"Love, you have to let go, I need to get my coin."
Sirius remembers groaning and releasing his hold for a brief minute, choosing to wrap himself around his boyfriend's waist. He earned himself a chuckle. Sirius would cling to the sound of that laugh, grasp at the memory to keep himself sane.
The machine chimed. Sirius was guided in front of the screen, the prompt reading, "Sirius Black, do you take --- to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Sirius had smiled and clicked "I do."
His lover did the same.
The sound of the machine whirring to life filled their ears, the gears turning inside the broken down thing marking themselves known, until it chimed as a small thud could be heard. His lover reached in and grabbed the small container, getting on one knee and revealing a ring. Sirius remembers the way he smiled and nodded as his lover slipped it over his finger and sealed their counterfeit matrimony with a kiss.
They never got married.
Not really.
After the sentencing, when Sirius was shoveled into Azkaban, Remus had thrown away that ring. It was cheap plastic, he had no use for it. And besides, why would he want to be tied to the man who betrayed and killed his best friends. He wasn't the man Remus thought he was, therefore their relationship was nothing but fake, a game of childhood pretend. It never happened, as far as Remus was concerned.
Besides, Remus was better off without Sirius, and so the ring now lies in a landfill on the outskirts of London, and the two had never even dated.
They never got married.
Not really.
But Sirius refuses to let the memory go, and the ring still sits on his finger, broken down by the wear and tear of twelve years in prison. It falls off of his bony fingers, but it's miraculously still there. Sirius twists it around and around and around to ground himself and oh, the memory keeps his fragile mind from shattering beyond repair.
Sirius just wishes he could remember who he made it with.
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ttulipwritezz · 2 months
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Sometimes it hurts to accept that Sirius Black is fictional. I wish men were real 😔🤞
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leviathanspain · 1 year
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two strangers
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sirius black x potter!reader
synopsis: years after your brothers death and sirius’ betrayal, you meet again, and realize you are nothing but strangers
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you stared at him as he walked through the door. it was as if your soul had been sucked by dementors. your mouth felt like cotton balls, and you felt your cheeks heat up. harry was hugging sirius tightly, whispers of conversation between the two of them were said. but just as they parted, you turned around, ignoring a greeting for sirius.
small murmers from the rest of the order was heard as you trudged up the stairs with kreacher lugging your bag up, just right behind you. as your hand grazed the wooden rail, you repeated the same words over and over to yourself.
you’re doing this for harry and the order. for harry and the order. the words circled around in your head like a stirring pot.
you hadn’t realized it but the stairs had come to an end, and you faced his bedroom. you blinked, surprised that even with the door barely ajar, from the looks of it, was still the same.
you inhaled, and continued down the hall, moving to one of the many guests rooms of the black house.
kreacher set your bag down and left with a nod, muttering off to himself. a crazy little elf, just seeing him brought back more memories of your hogwarts years. sneaking into sirius’ room, finding kreacher sweeping and staring at you, knowing very well walburga and orion would know of your intrusion when the morning came.
but when sirius ran away, and moved into your home with your brother, it had only made the two of you worse. stuck on each other like little sea urchins, it was impossible to have one without the other, james was always making a big fuss about it.
you and sirius were sitting on the couch, watching television from the new muggle invention, you were ruffling with his hair when sirius grabbed your waist. he pulled you closer into him, and suddenly the two of you were heavily petting each other, kissing and groaning all over the place.
james had been unfortunate to walk into the scene, and bonked sirius on the head with his bag of crisps. “get off my sister, pads. have some respect.” he would always say, and then throw himself in the spot between you two, much to your displeasure.
you and sirius lived a fruitful life together, but an argument had sent the two of you spiraling, but only one had come home to forgive.
the keys jangled as you unlocked the door and found no one. the house was empty, your brother and lily moved out and your parents off for holiday, sirius should be home.
but just as you shut the door, setting your things down, it opened once more and a drunken sirius walked inside. you whipped your head around to see him disheveled, collar ripped open with kisses and hickies decorating his skin, he was wearing a wide smile on his face.
“y/n. baby i’m sorry- i should’ve known it was your birthday, and i know,” he grabbed your hands, and kissed them sloppily, “a good way to make it up to you.” he whispered.
your face contorted into disgust as you shoved him off. “get the fuck out before i curse you.” you choked out, opening the door again, you stuck your want out at him.
sirius blinked, and step forward until your wand was nearly stabbing into his chest, he raised an eyebrow, “do it.” his tone was bordering slightly menacing and you gulped, “i’ll do it.” you warned and he laughed bitterly, “fucking do it!” he yelled, and you flinched, pulling away.
the door to your room was opened, and the wood creaking got your attention. you looked up to find remus, hands in his pocket, staring at you with concern.
he knew that look on your face, all too well. “you’ll find the pain gets easier with the less details you remember.” you nodded, “i gathered that.”
remus walked into the room, and shut the door behind him, “you need to stop punishing yourself. i know how much you went through, but you still love him.”
you shook your head, “do i? it’s been nearly fifteen years since i last talked to him. i wasn’t there at his trial, i didn’t do any of it.” you sighed, “i gave him the benefit of the doubt when james and lily were killed. i knew deep down he never did it. but that was the sirius i knew. that man out there, he’s no one but harry’s godfather.”
remus shook his head, “give him a chance, y/n. he has so much to say to you.” he opened the door and stopped, “harry loves him. just remember that when your doubts get the best of you. dinner is soon, i’ll send harry to come get you when it starts.” you nodded and watched as rem left.
harry had stood up when remus sent him to retrieve you. dinner was being served, and molly wouldn’t stop asking about you.
sirius met harry at the door and smiled tightly, “i’ll get her.”
harry raised his eyebrows, “are you sure? it’s no trouble, she’s my aunt-“
sirius put a hand on harry’s shoulder, “it’s not trouble at all, but i think that it’s just better if i get her. talk to her, eh?” harry couldn’t argue anymore, and just hesitantly walked back to his seat as sirius walked up the stairs.
you heard the steps in front of your door creak and you opened it, “harry-“
but instead of the shining boy in front of you, it was sirius.
immediately, the smile you had painted had died down and you only looked at sirius, “hello.” you spoke, fidgeting in your spot. this is what you had been trying to avoid. the awkward conversation, the hesitance to talk to him, it was too much, too familiar.
sirius closed his eyes, “i know. im sorry.” he spoke, and you shook your head, “it’s been fifteen years, sirius, let’s just-“
sirius shook his head, “no. i never got to make it right. i never got to fix us.” he inhaled sharply, “i want you. i want us to be us again, y/n. it wasn’t just some teenage fling, and you weren’t just my best friend’s sister.” the younger sirius was brought out and he was speaking with the same passion that he once had.
you shook your head, “no. i cant do this anymore sirius. we are not the same love struck teenagers! we are grown adults and you expect me to forgive you, now?” you blinked, a tear falling onto your cheek, you looked away, “i cant do this. i thought i could, for harry, for the order-“
sirius shook his head, “don’t go. please, im sorry for even bringing it up. just stay.” he pleaded, and for a moment you were swayed to stay, but you shook your head, “when harry is ready to go, have remus call me.” and you apparated with a swing of your wand.
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c0smopolitan · 2 months
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Welcome and goodbye part 1
A/n: This has been put off for too long😭 I had this sitting in drafts for ages because I kinda hated it but I’ve had a change of heart so here you go. Don’t know when part two will be because I’m busy with two new James fics so if I get to it, I’ll lyk. Only proofread once so probably some mistakes, if there is I will fix later. Thanks!
Summary: you find out Sirius cheated on you, but maybe there’s more to the story.
Warnings: angst, no interaction with Sirius yet, reader is sad, Sirius is sad. Sirius Black x f!reader F/n means friends name
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It was hard to ignore the marauders now that you and Sirius had broken up. They were your friends too, but they were Sirius’ friends first.
James tried everything to get you to talk with him, but you think he’d gotten the hint when you slammed the door in his face.
You felt guilty but you shouldn’t. He cheated on you, and no amount of love you had for him could fix that.
F/n was starting to get worried about you. You had missed the last week of classes on the excuse that you were sick but everyone knew it wasn’t true. The news of your breakup with Sirius was everywhere, everyone knew.
“Y/n please just get up!” She groaned, grabbing your arm trying to pull you out of bed.
“I don’t wanna see him F/n.” You cry out.
She drops your arm causing you to fall back on your bed. “Cmon Y/n, please.”
You look up to see her looking at you pleadingly. “I haven’t even seen him since.” She deadpanned. You groaned.
“he’s probably just as depressed as you are." You roll your eyes. He cheated on you. He doesn’t deserve to be upset. “Ok, I’ll get up.” You sigh getting up from your bed and getting ready.
The walk to potions seemed like an eternity. Everyone was looking at you. Girls whispering to their friends about the scandal and people giving you dirty looks. When you arrive to the door everyone is already looking at you. James' eyes widen as you walk past him and sit in your normal seat.
James abruptly gets up from his seat and sits down next you. “James, not now.” You sigh. He looks at you desperately. “Please Y/n,” he grabs your hand, and you turn to look at him. “Please just let Pads explain, he won’t leave his room.”
You pulled your hand back.
He frowns at the motion but continues. “He’s gone mental and I really can’t take his late night crying anymore.” Your heart constricted in it’s chest. He’s crying over you?
You shake your head. “There’s nothing to explain,” Slughorn walks into class. “He cheated on me.”
Class ends and you quickly make your way outside. Free periods feel like your only escape now that your relationship is all everyone talks about. You make your way into forbidden forest, a place you’ve always gone to when you needed solace.
Second year was an especially hard year for you so you made a small hut where you would lie down to think.
Later on, you brought Moony after you discovered he was a werewolf.
Imagine your surprise when you find him tucked in a corner reading a book on transfiguration.
He looks up at the sudden noise and smiles at you. “Hey N/n,” He shuffles out of his position and scoots over leaving room for you to sit. “Hey Moony.” You crawl over to where he left you space and sit down.
You look at him to see him already looking at you. You groan outwardly and he laughs. “I’m not here to coax you into forgiving Padfoot,” you smile gratefully. “Although you should hear him out N/n,” You frown.
“I know you might hate him right now, but he’s not a monster. I don’t think he would purposely cheat on you.” He purses his lips. “He’s just an idiot who has a tendency of making dumb and irreparable mistakes.” He says sheepishly.
“Rem,” your frown grew deeper, “I could never hate him.” He raised his brows. “I love him too much. That's not something that's going to go away in a couple of days. I just can’t believe he would ruin our relationship for a hookup.” He winced because he knew you were right; he did ruin his relationship for a hookup.
“Hear him out love, I know you might not want to forgive him but let him explain, let him have his closure so he can stop whinging please.” He spoke exasperated and you laughed.
“Alright.”
He looked at you surprised.
“Really?” You nodded. “Yea, really.”
He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in a hug. “Thank you, Y/n.” You release yourself from his hug to make your way out. You stop before you exit completely. “This is for me, not for him.” He nods and you leave the hut making your way back to school.
tags: @bruher @bullets-from-another-dimension @onyxwingsandcrowblackdreams @princessofsilverandserpents
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rxsilabeth--er · 1 month
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ok this feels mean to do but, remus and a slytherin male reader. post-prank. essentially, post-prank remus is angry with sirius, but suddenly he find himself close with his 'sleazy' seatmate in charms. turns out, he's not that mean and less of a jerk from how he holds himself and how most people percieved Slytherin men. he's also very good at his studies, he helps remus out when remus seems to need it, he has this nice voice, and an even nicer face—wait what?
(i'd love to walk in the great hall with my arm around remus lupin's shoulder, maroon and burgundy marks on my neck and a sleazy grin on my face as i leaned down to his ear, just to whisper to him that his ex's staring. let 👏🏻 me 👏🏻 make 👏🏻 that 👏🏻 man 👏🏻 blush 👏🏻)
:: hickeys and a Slytherin that's tricky...
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Now calling....Author: "This was a lovely request!! Though I LOVE wolfstar, this did hurt my wolfstar heart, but I love it nonetheless!!"
Now calling....Synopsis: "...After the prank, Remus prefers sitting alone in case one of the marauders come and he bursts open at the seams, but luckily during potions, a certain Slytherin helps his wrong potion and even fixes his seams perfectly..."
Now calling....warnings: "smoking, drinking, fashion show, personal headcanons, tying Remus to his bed for his health (dw), reader is mentioned to piercings, hickeys, mentions of sexual activity, The prank, angst on Sirius's part, possibly wrong potion making, I couldn't fortunately get my hogwarts letter...I deserve to be there more than Draco Malfoy, that's for sure...male!reader. Ooc? Bellatrix and Narcissa? Bellatrix doesn't like Remus in the beginning, but settles to tolerate him cause his ma was a squib and his dad a wizard so he's a pureblood, right? Bella had sexual history with reader. Beware, this is quite long."
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the clinking of his spoon on the walls of the bubbling cauldron did not help Remus's situation, he could still hear James, Sirius and Peter's murmurs along with Severus's glare at him. What potion were they making again? Does not matter especially if you just got your heart torn apart by those you trusted the most in your life...
He softly looked around, Severus's glare still trained on him as he lowered his eyes with guilt, continuing to cut whatever he had as the instruction in his books said, his eyes already blurring the view with tears,
"You're not supposed to put three lacewings...the book says wrong." a gruff voice softly perked up as Remus flinched and looked around to find a particular Slytherin whom he had seen around, mostly smoking, snoozing or being lazy and chaotic.
With messy hair, messy shirt, Slytherin tie, a few piercings around your ears and tattoos poking out from under your sleeves, you stood there pointing at his book.
Seeing him basically zoned out string at you, you snapped your fingers in his face to pull him out of trance, as he shook his head and looked at you, his eyebrow raising,
"And what makes you think you're right?" Remus asked as he glared his eyes up and down you, as you simply shrugged and said,
"I mean, if you add three lacewings which makes the potion acidic to daisy roots who's job is to acidify the potion already, it will become..I don't know? Too acidic for anything to survive in it? We need it just enough acidic so that when we add the base, it will be enough to neutralize...I thought you were smart, Lupin."
and your words left him appalled, but he couldn't speak as he did understand your logic behind it as he scoffed and asked, "And how many am I supposed to add, genius?! Professor didn't say anything." as you looked at your own book at the corrections you made, "...One and a half".
As you said, as if on cue, Snape's cauldron bubbled too much and spilled everywhere leaving blisters on contact with bare human skin of those around as people winced and softly whispered, a Remus looked in surprise, you didn't seem shocked as Snape did think he knew better and added three and a HALF lacewings, idiot.
You simply continued to mix your potion, Remus decided to take your advice and only add one and a half instead of three like everyone did...You finished yours and tested it in front of everyone as Slughorn awarded your with fifty points for Slytherin, he must ave been impressed because this particular potion was a hard one, Remus's also turned out to be good but he was awarded only fifteen points, possibly because he showed it at the last minute.
As you got your things and walked out, the classes were over so you had free time as you walked down the courtyard down the grassy fields near the tree where the Slytherin skittles often sat. Throwing your bag up, you quickly climbed up there, pulling out a cigarette and a lighter before lighting it and smoking out smoke from your nostrils as you hummed to yourself, opening a book to read.
Remus didn't know how, but he somehow walked up and climbed up to meet you, you simply looked his way, nodding as a greeting as you went back to reading while Remus was panting from the tiny climb,
"Uhm....hey, thanks for the tip today in class..." Remus began as you nodded, taking another drag and softly blowing it out, as Remus stood there, clinging to the tree in disbelief,
"..Okay...Uhm..." he nodded to himself as he took a step down, "...What happened to you and marauders?" you asked softly, crawling to lay on your stomach on the slightly somewhat large space the tree had to offer, looking down at him with your face in your propped up hand, noticing the way he froze,
"...None of your fucking business." Remus said in annoyance, as you nodded, "Okay." you said taking another drag and blowing the smoke in his face, making him more annoyed, as he swatted your hand, "Fucking stop." Remus snarled, as you grinned..
Out of nowhere, with unknown confidence, Remus took your wrist and made you place your cigarette between his lips as he blew the smoke in your face before climbing down and walking away as you stared back at him in surprised with flushing reaching up your cheeks to warm them, a soft smile spreading your cheeks as you looked at him walking away.
You quickly gathered the book, the bag and jumped down, following him from a few feets away, walking behind him yet no doing anything, of-course he noticed, you weren't hidden or invisible and yet he didn't do anything. Up until the portrait of the fat lady you followed him and would have followed him inside if he didn't just stop in front of the portrait till you stood beside him,
"What is it? Why are you following me, you fuck?" Remus asked as you simply blew out more smoke, "You looked like shit, so I followed. I need to make you a forest brown again." you said simply as his eyes soften ever-so slightly...sighing, he gave the password and pulled you in, sitting you down and removing your tie,
"Oooh, already so eager to fuck, Lupin?" you asked smirking, making him scoff, "As if me, or anybody in fact, would sleep with a sleaze like you. Only doing it so people don't know I'm hanging with a serpent.", "Okay.. :)"
And the next month flew without a care of world for Lupin and you, as you simply pulled out a cig after classes ended and were pulled by Zahara and if she pulled you, you pulled him, cause if Zahara was around, you needed the 'Casanova' around so people don't think that Zabini be sleeping with you...
Or maybe you'd help Pandora to collect rocks or snails or slugs around the Black lake, while she rambled on and on to you while Remus stood there smoking.
Or maybe you'd be sharing a cigarette with Barty and Evan cause you three were being stingy and lazy to buy some from Hogsmeade as you three glared at Remus in envy while he wasted cigarettes from his brand new packet while he only took two drags before putting it out and pulling out another one all while smirking in your direction cause he knew you three were too prideful to ask him for one.
Or maybe you'd be reading while cuddling with Regulus and helping him annotate while Remus sat beside you hearing both of your interpretation, he didn't think you'd be into literature almost as much as Regulus while you both acted out Shakespeare sometimes.
Or maybe styling clothes with Andromeda, Narcissa and Dorcas and putting on a show for the house in the common room while people hooted or laughed at the dramatic display all while Remus sat there in confusion at how weird the whole house of Slytherin is if you don't notice the idiotic pure-blood supremacists (Lucius, Lestranges, Bellatrix, Snape, Mulciber, etc.).
The month went by quickly, you stood outside the door of the Shrieking Shack, smoking as he transformed for the month...The month had sadly two full moons and it did not go well...
if not for you standing outside until the morning and tying him to his bed, while putting on healing spells and refusing to let him go to class and leaving him there in the Shrieking Shack until the classes ended and you came back with the gang and sat beside him on the floor, playing truth or dare, having a fashion show, smoking, singing songs and playing stupid instruments and more...
For Remus, well it was small, not for the Marauders especially Sirius...No, on the contrary it was hell for them, Sirius could not help but feel guilt as he refused to let himself or James or Peter believe that he purposefully sent someone to be murder and maimed...
He could not let James or Peter turn their back on him, cause he knew that in the two's eyes he was still a good person..and a good person doesn't send someone else to be mauled....
Sirius had begun to cry himself to sleep, putting silencing charms around his bed post and sticking his curtains around him with a few spells as he heard Remus walk in every night, giggling at something another voice spoke, before he heard the sounds of him falling into his bed and the sounds of Remus...possibly kissing the person..No he could not have that in his mind..
Remus had changed a lot, everyone in Gryffindor could tell. He still wore his grandpa sweaters, but he had eyeliner around his eyes, his eyes seemed more hooded and bored, with no concealer covering his scars anymore.
And despite his sweaters, he was more often seen with Blazer, sometimes blood dripping down his nose or knuckles and mostly walking around Barty, Evan, Regulus and you, all five laughing while Pandora clung to your arm and Dorcas fussed over Remus's hair and scars and body, asking him if anything hurt...
Mary, Lily, Marlene, Alice often saw themselves being replaced by Dorcas, Pandora, Zahara and sometimes Andromeda and Narcissa and well rarely, Bellatrix who asked him to tutor her after swallowing a lot of her pride...Sirius, James, Frank, Peter saw themselves being replaced by you, Barty, Evan and Regulus...
Remus wasn't ever seen in the Gryffindor tower now, always roaming around the Slytherin common room, sometimes seen beside the Black lake with Pandora and Dorcas talking with merfolk with sign language, or waltzing with Narcissa in the courtyard who always smiled and laughed as he mixed up his steps...
And seen in the library with Zahara and Bellatrix who wore a scowl which sometimes melted away after a while as the two listen intently to whatever he taught them...
Or walking around Hogsmeade with you, Barty and Evan, Barty and Evan whining and clinging to each other before going away somewhere to make out as you simply bought him his favourite chocolates at Honey dukes and sometimes putting the tiniest bit of melted chocolate on the tip of his nose before kissing it away...
Or talking with Regulus and you about the newest books they read, or three-wheeling Andromeda and Ted, teasing the two with a smirk as you leaned against him, smoking with a smirk, sometimes enjoying him with the teasing. Sirius or other marauders couldn't bear himself seeing it and often teared up at the slightest mention of Remus and his new-found friends..
Despite being everything Sirius hated the most; a pureblood, coming from a noble family, serious, smart, cunning, ambitious Slytherin, you were everything that deserved you got and showed not everything is not as simple as it seems.
you did not worry what people thought when you helped people. Helping Andromeda through hexing a few of Ted's bullies from Slytherin who tried to hurt him for being with Andromeda,
comforting Alice after a fight she had with Narcissa,
sharing some weed with Peter,
helping Lily chase away Snape who was being too persistent,
helping Marlene get the snitch just to spite Dorcas yet make Dorcas laugh the other second cause you didn't want her to feel bad about loosing the match,
taking the blame for whatever Barty, Andromeda, Bellatrix, Regulus, Narcissa did cause you didn't want a letter be sent to their house and make them get punished by their parents,
learning to braid Zahara's hair the way she likes it to help her,
taking Pandora anywhere she wanted,
helping Evan with his homework in library...
You couldn't be thrown into one category cause you weren't like that, you were the hardest thing to navigate, you were always being sleezy, smoking, yet you helped, cared, comforted people who needed it...
The next morning as he stood up and walked down to the Great Hall, Remus left WAY earlier possibly to be with his new found friends... He walked in, and sat down as he simply ate whatever was present before Marlene smacked his hand pointed back at the entrance to see Remus.
In his usual black blazer, hooded, bored eyes, a few piercings, a cig in his hand with his shirt's top two buttons open and showing his collar and neck covered in bite-marks, hickeys...
some were even decorated with stickers as he walked and sat right behind Sirius, yawning as Zahara whistled, as Bellatrix scoffed,
"What, couldn't even handle being with Y/N?" Bellatrix asked grinning with confidence,
"Well, still better at handling him than you, no Bella? He isn't able to walk, last time I remembered, it wasn't him who couldn't walk, it was you who couldn't walk!" Remus said back with a evident smugness in his voice as Bellatrix sat there, appalled and shocked as she simply humphed and looked away as the table softly snickered...
Sirius couldn't bear to think that something he wished he could have was now with someone completely different. Sirius longed to be in your place as he couldn't help the tears which pricked his eyes...How come a large mistake of his took away everything he wished was his...?
He looked back at the entrance to see you softly walk in, slightly limping with a cig in your hand which you dropped on the floor and stamped on to put it out as you walked and sat down beside Remus, leaning against him, trying to catch on sleep which you obviously couldn't complete from last night's activities...
Sirius felt filth inside him at seeing you and Remus be together, through classes as you helped him read and developed spells for him to read through his Dyslexia, helped him sleep with a potion Regulus created to heal his own insomnia which you even gave to James to help his insomnia.
You helped Peter sometimes with his charms when he needed help, told Lily which colour looked good on her, helped motivate Marlene to cause pranks, told Mary she looked pretty, gave advice to Alice about Narcissa and even gave Rita some gossips you heard to satisfy her.
You even helped Sirius himself with pranks to pull on Snape whom you started calling "Snevillous" as well...no matter how much Sirius tried, he couldn't hate you..or even be you...
He saw you everyday with Remus, making out with him in some corner of the library, sitting on his lap to tease him, quoting books he hated simply to annoy him, stroking his scars with your fingers, putting on liner on his eyes, using spells to make drawings that Evan did to turn them into permanent tattoos, wearing his grandpa sweaters and flaunting them in front of the girls all whom laughed or giggled...
You even tried your hardest to fix the marauder's friendship, in which you succeeded..but not because their apologies were sincere, it was because you tried to fix their friendship.
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© This writing work belongs to me, rxsilabeth--er, Aurelia, Rosilabeth, Cerine. Reblogging is appreciated, but plagiarizing or copying my works is forbidden, thank you for reading this and if you like this check out my blog!
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goldrushenthusiast · 4 months
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no I’m fine it’s just that Sirius was never declared innocent until after his death and his last free, non refugee days were probably spent with James
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babydipper · 5 months
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They end up curled up on the floor, Sirius’s arm over Reggie's waist as the only point of contact. Small lights are flying in front of them like little fates in the form of stars. Reggie knows everything about the sky but listens to Sirius talk anyway. It's almost like being eight again in the basement at home, when Father’s wrath was something so bad even Mother would rather have them hidden from it. Reggie treasures the memory of Mother's magic floating around. It's one of the favourites.
They don't talk, it's more like white noise, the way Sirius tells the stories of constellations. The shards are still inside Reggie's hands and if the palms are placed in the right direction, they reflect the light. It occupies Reggie for a while, the game of glistens, but then the pain turns into something uncomfortable and so Reggie asks to substitute one with the other:
“Have you ever felt wrong in your body?”
Sirius stops, abruptly, his story about the Leo constellation. He hesitates for a moment and Reggie can feel it, wondering if the answer will ever come. “Like out of place?”
“Mhm.”
“I- well, yes, I think. Or not. It was more the case of not looking the way I wanted to look. So not with the body exactly, no. More with being unable to do what I wanted to do with it.”
“Hm.”
“I bet the lion felt wrong with its body, though,” Sirius whispers and his finger traces patterns on Reggie's skin. “The steel skin must have felt uncomfortable,” Reggie says nothing to that but watches the heart of the lion made out of the light anyway. Regulus stares back. “Why do you want Mother and Father dead?”
“Is there any other way to stop them?” Reggie snarls. “If you know one, feel free to share.”
“Why do you want to stop them?”
“Because there's no way to follow them,” Reggie says in the most vulnerable moment ever. “I'm not the daughter they wanted anymore, Sirius. I wish I could go back and be her, but I can’t.”
“I don't think there's anyone that could please them. You were perfect and it wasn't enough.”
“That's because I wasn't you.” And oh. Sirius's finger stops. Reggie can feel the shallow breaths. “I don't know who I am, but I am not you.”
“And you're not her,” Sirius whispers.
It helps that they are not looking at each other. That it's dark and that Reggie doesn't have to face anything but the heart of the lion. The tiredness overflows the body and the mind and nothing matters anymore. The only people that exist in the whole universe are the two of them, no one else. If they are the last people on the Earth, Reggie might as well confess all the sins. “No, I am not her.”
“I feel like I don’t know you anymore,” Sirius confesses, too. “We knew each other best and now I don’t know you anymore.”
“It’s okay,” Reggie soothes in the tone that is reserved for Sirius and Sirius only. Always has been. When he got beaten up. When he was starved. When he was lonely. “I don’t know myself anymore either.”
There’s a beat of silence and then:
“If I had asked, would you have come?”
Another beat.
“No. But you never asked.” And another. “If I asked to go, would you have let me?”
“No, but you haven’t asked either.”
It hurts. It hurts so much it fills their veins. Reggie thinks that everything has been filled with liquid pain. It hurts, but all they seem to know now is how to hurt, so they stay in the stasis like they always do. Reggie wants to turn to face Sirius and claw his heart out, step on it, eat it, destroy it. They need to blend into one, become one and maybe then they will be perfect and enough for their parents. Maybe then they will deserve to be alive.
But the thing is Walburga and Orion never liked it when they played together or spent time together, especially growing up. The united front was dangerous, Reggie realises now. The first thing Reggie came to Sirius with in years was parricide, so maybe their parents are right. The two of them in unison are dangerous and rabid and a force to be reckoned with. Having them separated was the only option to control them. And even then, Sirius got out.
Maybe Walburga and Orion are scared of them, too.
Maybe they should be.
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actually can't stand the people who get pissed that sirius ran away from home at 16 because bitch that was an abusive household, he had every right to do that.
not to mention...regulus was the favorite child?? he was slytherin, joined the death eaters, upheld the blood purist values...kreacher literally says that walburgha was devestated by his death and cared for him so fucking much....sirius isn't "leaving" regulus, he's doing what's right for him and prioritizing himself and if you don't like that you can fuck off
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Sirius find out about Jegulus
Unpopular opinion but I think Sirius was not angry when he find out about James and Regulus relationship. I think Sirius always loved his brother and wanted only the best for him and Sirius knew that the best thing that could happen to you in life was the love of James Potter. Sirius hoped James could save his brother because he couldn't. And when Regulus died, they cried together because they couldn't save him.
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And I'll watch || Regulus Black
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Summary: When their seventh year comes to an end, Regulus wants nothing more than to live his life with the woman he's loved for years by his side. Fate has different plans for him, despite his wishes.
CW: angst, mentions of suicide (very brief), French!Regulus, depressed!Regulus, a hint of emotional abuse/dependency, just Regulus being very sad about life, sad Black!brothers talk because they are my boys that constantly hurt my heart and they deserve better than they ever got :(
Word count: 2k words
Hello!! I'm back with an angsty Regulus one-shot. I have to say, I'm not really good with angst, but I tried my best, and I think it came out quite well. I might have gotten a bit teary-eyed towards the end. This was requested, so I hope you liked it, anon! Thank you! Let me know what you think and on what wip I should focus on next!!
Request are open
Masterlist
Regulus watches on as a stampede of students moves swiftly through the corridor. Everyone carries a smile, clearly elated that their seventh year has come to an end. He sees people laughing and smiling as they hug their close friends; some look sad at the prospect of leaving the place they have been calling home for the last seven years but excited nonetheless.
He looks through the crowd, searching for her face. She is easy to spot for his watchful eyes. She stands off to the side, hugging one of her roommates, a big smile plastered on her face as her friend's tears wet her school robes. Even if he cannot hear her words, he knows what she is saying, reassuring words leaving her lips as she promises to keep in contact. Regulus waits for her to finish her goodbyes, a small smile on his own lips. He stays on his spot, even as his roommates and friends go over to him to say their goodbyes, exchanging pats on their backs.
She turns around in the sea of people looking for something, or rather someone. As soon as she locks eyes with his, a smile spreads on her face. Regulus returns it, excited at the mere prospect that she was looking for him. He raises his hand in a wave, beckoning her to get closer. She starts pushing through the crowd to get to his side.
A puff of air escapes her lips when she reaches him. "Ready to get out of here?" She smiles and grabs his hand, pulling him away before he can answer.
They make their way through the crowd until they reach the big entrance doors, where fewer people are gathered to say their goodbyes. Despite how easy it is to navigate around the small groups, she doesn't let go of his hand. Regulus smiles as he soothes her skin with his thumb.
Today is the last day of their life as students, a coming of age of sorts. They will no longer have to worry about homework or quidditch matches. It is easy to spot in the air how many mixed feelings there are, some happy, excited, others sad, perhaps even dreadful. Regulus feels invigorated; his life is about to change. It already is changing, and as he looks at the young woman holding his hand, he can feel the nerves rising through his chest and up his throat.
"Can you believe it's over?" Her voice calls out as they thread through the grass, leaving behind the noisy voices.
"It's weird, but yes, I can believe it." She picks up her pace, making both of them go faster, her goal to reach the Black Lake before anyone else.
"It's just… everything is going to be so different." She sighs, a mixture of dreaminess and doubt. "I mean, Pandora is engaged, Barty is ready to work with his dad at the Ministry, Susan is moving abroad… Everything is changing so fast."
"I know, but we knew it was coming."
"Yes. Doesn't make things less difficult, mostly when I don't know what I'm going to do now. My only option is going back to my parents and working at their shop, it seems."
"It's not your only option." His voice is soft as he stops in his tracks, letting go of her hand.
"What? Should we go and travel through Europe? Maybe you'll finally teach me some French." She stops a few steps ahead, turning to face him.
His face is solemn, an earnest look in his eyes. Regulus shakes his head, opening his mouth. No words seem to come out, his throat drying and his stomach flipping with nerves. The looks in his eyes, the hopeful, loving twinkle, must give him away as a knowing look takes over her features.
"No." She shakes her head as she moves backwards, turning to get away from him. "No."
"Please." His steps are quick as he catches up to her, getting in front so she cannot keep moving forwards. "You have to hear me out." His hands gesture to his chest. "I've loved you since the moment I saw you. You have to understand. I've tried to stop, to give you space, but it isn't working."
"No." She looks past him, trying to avoid his face, which has more emotion displayed on it than ever.
"Please. I've done everything. I've tried to let you know many times. But, but you wouldn't let me, which is fine." Her gaze turns to the floor as his voice fills with even more emotion. "Please, I just need you to consider it. Just once, please."
"Stop, please." Her voice is almost inaudible.
"I've done everything. I've worked so hard so you would see me. I've changed so much for you, which is fine, I'm happy I did." His knees start bending, trying to get her to look into his eyes. "And I did everything because… because I figured you'll love me." Her eyes close as if she is feeling pain from his words. "And I know, I know I'm not good enough, and I'll never be this wonderful man of-"
"Yes, you are. Reggie, you're a wonderful guy, too good for me." Her eyes look directly at his, her hand grabbing his arm, bringing him close. "And I wish that I could love you the way you want me to, but I just-. I can't."
"Yes, you can." His voice wobbles as the tears pool in his eyes, threatening to fall. "You can." It's just a whisper.
"I can't change how I feel."
Regulus turns his face, looking towards the floor, avoiding her eyes. His lips parted, ragged breathing as if she had just knocked the air out of him. In a way she has; he has imagined this day, this moment thousands of times and even when she said no in his thoughts, he never felt like this. He never felt the sharp pain in his chest, the way his throat is closing on him, how his tears are almost spilling down his face as the woman he wishes to spend the rest of his life with crushes his dreams.
"I can't do it, Reggie. I'm so sorry." Her voice is a whisper, emotion taking over her as she tightens her grip on his arm. "I'm so, so sorry, Reggie."
He takes a deep breath and steps back, needing to create distance between them. Needing to breathe anything other than the lingering scent of her shampoo on her hair.
"I can't love anyone else. I only love you." His voice is monotone, the words feeling foreign in his mouth.
"Reggie…" His eyes don't meet hers, he can't bring himself to do so. "We'd make a horrible couple. We-"
"No, we wouldn't. It would be-"
"We would be a disaster, Re-"
"We wouldn't be a disaster, we would-"
"I tried! Reggie, I tried and I can't." She raises her voice, making his words die in his throat.
He finally meets her eyes. They shine with intensity and love, just not the love he wishes she felt for him.
"Then why does everyone expect it?" New emotions make his voice louder. "Evan expects it, Barty expects it, Pandora; everyone expects it!" His hand extends to grab hers. "Say yes and let's be happy." Her hand moves out of his reach, she steps closer and grabs his arms.
"I can say yes, truly, so I'm not going to say it." He gets closer to her face, wanting to touch her lip with his but not doing so. "And you'll see that I'm right eventually, and you'll thank me for not saying yes."
Regulus steps away, momentarily looking at her. "I'll be dead before I thank you for it."
"Reggie." She steps closer, trying to grab at him once again.
"I'll kill myself before that happens."
"Reggie, don't say that!" She watches as he walks away. "Reggie." She starts walking, trying to catch up to him. "Reggie! Listen, you'll find someone." She reaches his back, putting her hand there, taking hold of his hand. He swiftly brushes her off. "You'll find a lovely, pure-blood woman, that your parents will approve of. And she will adore you." She keeps her pace with his. "And she will make the perfect wife and mother, and daughter-in-law. She'll be everything I could never be!"
"Yes, you could." He stops and turns to her. "You could."
"Look at me! I'm awkward-"
"I love you."
"And I'm not a pure-blood-"
"I love you."
"I'm weird and you would be ashamed of me,-"
"I love you."
"We would fight constantly, I could never meet your parents' expectations." She reaches closer to him, pointing to her chest. "I'd hate elegant society." She points her finger at his. "You'd hate that I don't fit in. And we would be unhappy, and we would wish that we had never done it and everything would be horrible." She pants as her words die. Regulus' jaw ticks as he looks up from the floor.
His lips wobble.
"Anything else?"
"No, nothing else."
"Alright." His voice is breathy and defeated as he turns away from her once more.
"Except that," He turns back around, nodding to her with his face tight. She pauses, looking around before she meets his eyes again. "I don't believe I was made to be in love." He pushes out a breath. "I'm happy as I am. I love living in my own little world too much to give it up."
"I think you're wrong about that."
"No."
"I think you'll find love. I think you'll find a man that you want to share your world with, and you'll love him with everything in you because that's the way you do things." He pauses. "And I'll watch." A stubborn tear finally runs down his cheek.
Regulus turns around, defeated, and continues to walk away from her. She stays, watching his back get further and further away from her. Both of their happiness stripped away with just a conversation. Her frame falls to the floor with a thud, curling her legs into herself as she cries sour tears.
With quick steps, he marches back into the castle and down the stair to the Slytherin dorm. He gathers his belongings that he packed the night before, when he was still hopeful. Before his life came crashing down, before his dreams of twinkling eyes and beautiful smiles turned into nightmares. Everything is his fault, he knows. She has never owed him anything, and she doesn't now either. She has happily given him her friendship for years; that should be enough for him. But it is not. Nothing that she could ever give him would be enough for him, he realises. Because Regulus knows that she, no matter how hard he tried, would never allow him into her dreams and passions. The knowledge of it doesn't take away the pain.
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Beneath the Angst
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Summary: In the wizarding world of Hogwarts, Sirius Black and (Y/N) share a playful and passionate relationship. However, a misunderstanding leads to Sirius being upset with (Y/N). As their angsty days unfold, Sirius finds it difficult to stay mad at (Y/N)'s beautiful face. In the end, love and fluff triumph, strengthening their bond.
Warnings: Angst, fluff (if there are anymore please say)
In the Gryffindor common room, laughter and excitement filled the air. Sirius Black and (Y/N) were the heart of every gathering, their playful banter a source of amusement for all. However, on this particular day, their teasing went a bit too far, and Sirius found himself genuinely upset with (Y/N).
He stormed off, leaving her bewildered and hurt. (Y/N) didn't know what she had done wrong, but the look of anger in Sirius' eyes haunted her.
For days, Sirius avoided (Y/N) like the plague. He wouldn't meet her eyes or engage in any playful exchanges. The Gryffindor common room lost its spark, and their friends noticed the tension between them.
Remus Lupin and James Potter tried to mediate, but Sirius was determined to stay upset. He believed that (Y/N) had crossed a line with her playful antics, unaware that it had hurt her too.
(Y/N) tried to give Sirius space, but her heart ached with every passing day. She missed his laughter, his affectionate nicknames, and most of all, his beautiful smile. She longed to make things right but didn't know where to start.
In the dark corners of the common room, she confided in her closest friend, Lily Evans, pouring out her worries and regrets. Lily encouraged (Y/N) to speak to Sirius, to let him know how much she cared.
One evening, as the sun set and the common room quieted, (Y/N) found Sirius sitting alone by the fire. Taking a deep breath, she approached him, her heart pounding in her chest.
"Sirius," she began, her voice soft and sincere, "I'm sorry if I hurt you with my teasing. I never meant to upset you, and I miss the way things used to be between us."
Sirius glanced at her but quickly looked away, his expression conflicted. "(Y/N), you know I love your playful nature, but sometimes it's hard to tell when you're joking and when you're not. I just need some time to process things."
Tears welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes, and she nodded understandingly. "Okay, I'll give you the time you need. Just know that I care about you, and I never want to hurt you intentionally."
As the days passed, Sirius found it difficult to remain angry with (Y/N). Her absence in his life left a void he couldn't ignore. He missed her laughter, her sparkling eyes, and her infectious spirit.
He couldn't deny the fact that he loved her deeply, and it was not long before he realized that being without her was far worse than any playful prank gone awry.
Unable to resist any longer, Sirius sought out (Y/N) one evening. He found her sitting alone in the Astronomy Tower, gazing at the stars.
"(Y/N)," he said softly, approaching her.
She turned to him, her eyes filled with a mix of sadness and hope. "Sirius, I missed you."
"I missed you too," he admitted, feeling the weight of the tension lift from his shoulders. "I realized that I can't stay mad at you, not when your beautiful face and your playful spirit bring so much joy to my life."
With tears in her eyes, (Y/N) smiled, her heart filling with happiness. She reached out and pulled Sirius into a tight embrace, feeling his arms wrap around her in return.
In that moment, all the hurt and misunderstandings melted away, replaced by the warmth of their love and affection for each other. They knew that their relationship was built on more than just playful banter - it was founded on trust, understanding, and a deep connection that could withstand any quarrel.
From that day forward, Sirius and (Y/N) were inseparable once again. Their playful teasing returned, but now, it was infused with a newfound tenderness and appreciation for each other.
They spent their days laughing and exploring Hogwarts hand in hand, with their friends cheering them on. Sirius realized that he couldn't imagine his life without (Y/N) by his side, and he vowed to cherish her beautiful face and playful spirit for eternity.
In the end, their love triumphed over the angst, and they lived happily ever after, creating many more memories filled with love, laughter, and fluff.
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aspiring-artist-em · 11 months
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here's some angst, ignore the hands
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ttulipwritezz · 11 months
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Marauders Era masterlist
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Navigation🌷
A- Angst, F- Fluff, O- Oneshot, D-Drabble, S- Series
Sirius Black
•Rules huh?, pt2 , pt3 (F, O)
In which James set one rule for his friends, "do not fall for her" her being his dear sister. Sirius Black may have broken it.
•This Is Our Place (F, O, A)
In which after azkaban Sirius falls for his best friend's colleague who just so happens to return his feelings. They find their place within the confines of a war. They might leave the Christmas lights up till January.
Remus lupin
•Watch You Walk Away (A, O)
In which, Remus didn't think he deserved love, and rejected it when you gave it to him, now you give it to Sirius and he can only watch
•Shake My Brain (F, D)
In which you're having hard time focusing and writing so remus gives you a little boost.
•King Of My Heart, Body And Soul (S, A, F) [Ongoing...]
In which when James and lily died, and your brother was sent to Azkaban, Remus was the only person you have left. Until he left too. What happens when he returns after the events of Sirius's escape, only to find out you have a son? A son that's his.
James potter
Nothin' yet...
Regulus Black
•Unspoken Words That Linger In The Air (A, O)
In which, you and Sirius are in a happy relationship and despite being in love with you Regulus has to stand and watch
More on the way (feel free to request!)
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ilovejegulus · 8 months
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Regulus and sirius is so coded Winner by Conan Gray just like look at those lyrics
«Is that there's no one
Who ever has done better
At makin' me feel worse»
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