#i'm about this close to tagging it batman though
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Not Now (PT. 2)
[Platonic! Yandere! Neglectful Batfam × Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]
[Warnings: Mentions of Neglect, Mild General Yandere(ish) Behavior, Arguing, Awkward Tension(?), No One is Having a Good Time, Angst, Implied Past Injuries (To Reader)]
(When I say arguing I do mean it this time. Might be a bit more OOC? Dick is living up to his nickname. This is longer than the first part, just fyi - and by a good 4k or so words. Again, take your time and remember to take breaks!)
Didn't tag anyone on this post since both this part and the first are posted back to back :] Regardless, enjoy!
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3 (PT. 1). [Series Masterlist]
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"I… I just don't think it's a good idea. It doesn't feel right, and- and I…" You couldn't think of much else to say. All the reasons you had felt too personal, and you didn't feel comfortable telling Dick any of them. Not out here, and certainly not while he was in the suit. Though even if he wasn't, you weren't sure that it'd make you any more willing to tell him anything.
After all, you wouldn't even share the date of your birthday if he asked now, with or without the suit.
"Yeah, but why? It doesn't make sense to not go to either place just because you have a ‘bad feeling’ or anything. Even then, you'll be safe, and that's what really matters." That didn't feel like it was the case. Your safety doesn't feel like a priority over him just being able to keep an eye on you, and being able to pull anything he wants to without any prying eyes.
Though it was with that thought, did you wonder when you began to see Dick as someone so untrustworthy that you considered him to be on the same level as a thug out on the streets. Just far more dangerous and capable.
"Look, I just-" You sigh harshly, looking back at Dick as the fire in your chest rose, building up as it poked at your ribs and flesh. Begging for more air, more room to grow. "I'm going to the park. If you're not coming then that's fine by me, and if you're not okay with that, then there's nothing I can do about it." You state, looking forward as you pick up your pace.
Dick fumbles over his words before he hurriedly matches your pace, "Wait! Let's try and think this over-"
"Why? Even if we're out in the open, you're still a vigilante. If you can defend and look after an entire city, then surely you can protect one person, right? Not to mention that I can take care of myself." You huff, still keeping your eyes forward even as they narrow. You add, "Besides, again- not many people are out tonight. And if anything- seem to be rushing home, because of whatever is going on. We'll be fine."
"Sure. Yeah. I can handle it- but wouldn't it be smarter to just be inside anyway? That way it's less likely for anything to happen. You have to think rationally-" You swiftly cut Dick off again, really trying to put your foot down and stand your ground here.
"I am thinking rationally. You're a skilled vigilante that's been trained under Batman, and have only improved in skill and technique over the years. If anything goes wrong, and I can't handle it, you can. Not to mention that you have a way to contact the others if things really do go sideways, and you're in the suit. I didn't think I needed to say anything else." You sigh, lightly scratching the cup in your hands with your nail.
"Also, if you haven't noticed, even criminals and thugs are running home. It's like some kind of quarantine or lock down is going on. Some random person eavesdropping on us doesn't seem like it'll be a problem. Let alone with all of the noises that seem to be 'persuading' people to go home."
Dick could only sigh himself before saying, "Alright- okay. Fine. But like you said, I'm still in the suit."
"And?"
"And someone could see, and think that you're a close tie to me or something. You could be put in more danger."
"Are you actually worried about that now? You've been walking beside me this entire time when you didn't have to, and it's only now that you're worried about me being seen with you in the suit?"
"How else are we supposed to have this conversation? And I'm sorry for being worried about your safety, and well-being in the future for being seen with me." You could practically hear the eye-roll in Dick's voice despite knowing that he didn't actually do it. When did he get so sarcastic?
"That's not the issue, and you know that. We could've figured out some other way to have this talk, and you didn't have to walk beside me this entire time." You shot him a glance, causing Dick to sigh again.
"What if something happened while I was up top, and I couldn't react fast enough because I wasn't next to you? Someone could've tried something if I wasn't there, especially because you'd appear to be by yourself."
"So… remind me again, who's the paranoid one?"
"Y/n, I'm being serious." Dick states.
"I know. I'm being serious too, and I'm just saying that it's kind of ridiculous to be worrying about that now when it's already been a few minutes." You huff, "And I don't know what you expect me to do about it. I'm not the one in the suit, y'know. Why don't you just go and change somewhere?"
Dick rubs his nose bridge, getting annoyed but not trying to show it as he says, "Fine. I can do that, but at least come with me." He looks at you expectantly as his hand drops from his face. You couldn't help but raise a brow at his words.
"Why?"
"So that I can keep an eye on you…? And if anything happens while I'm changing- I'll be able to jump in and help much faster?" Dick said, confused. Talking as if he was stating the obvious, and maybe he was in a way, but you didn't see why he's so adamant about being close to you enough where he could easily protect you or reach you if needed.
"But wouldn't that kind of go against the point of you changing…?"
"What do you mean?"
"If I wait somewhere and Nightwing walks off, only for you-know-who to pop up after a little while, and we walk off together, wouldn't that be weird? Or at least hint at a certain something?" You point out, a little confused and surprised that you even had to explain this to Dick.
"C'mon, I won't be that obvious. And even then, no one will be able to figure it out."
"You say that like every other villain or wannabe in Gotham isn't some genius or anything. They're criminals and all that, but they aren't entirely stupid."
Dick sighs, though it came out more frustrated than he would’ve liked as he ran a hand through his hair once again, "Still, I'd just like for you to at least be close by. I don't want anything to happen to you, and I want to be able to help out as soon and as quickly as I can if anything does." He explains, getting a little closer to you.
"Please, Y/n. Just come with me."
You shake your head, your shoulders feeling far too heavy, and the flame in your chest was much too hot for you to even think about it. You knew Dick wasn't happy about it when he gave you a little room, but still kept close. As if hoping you'd change your mind, despite already knowing the answer.
"I'll just head to the park, and wait a few minutes. I'm not defenseless and can handle myself for a while, and it's not my fault that I could be in more potential danger because someone thought it was a good idea to come see me, and follow me around while in their suit. You can figure it out, and live without me for a few minutes." You huff harshly, adding, "If you aren't there after that time? I'm leaving. That's all." Once again, you pick up your pace, only to be stopped by Dick as he rushes in front of you.
"Wait- hold on. Are you sure about this? I don't think it's a good idea- and how long exactly will you be waiting? Where are you going if you leave? Are you going back to the apartment? Are you going home?" You don't like how hopeful Dick looked when he asked you that last question, but you push your discomfort to the side, and stand your ground.
"I'm an adult, and I'm a L/n. I'm sure about this. You can think whatever you want, and like I said- I'll be waiting a few minutes. If you're not there by then, I'm going to leave." You narrow your eyes at Dick, piercing him with your gaze as you said, "I've made my choice and I'm sticking to it. If you're not happy about it, or don't agree, then you can leave and I'll go on with my night. I'll wait at the park, and that's that." You state one final time before making your way around Dick, and continuing to walk forward. Luckily, he didn't try to stop you again, and if anything — seemed to stop following you entirely.
All you heard was a low scoff from behind you, and the rush of wind.
When you glance back, Dick was gone, and it was only then did you realize how heavy the air felt. Releasing the breath you didn't know you had been holding, you clutch your chest. Your heart aches, and yet you manage to push on.
Tonight wasn't exactly going well for you, but that almost tipped you over the edge.
You were beginning to hate many things about tonight, along with Dick. It almost made you think that maybe you were lucky back when he hardly ever noticed or talked to you. It made things easier, after all, and of course now that you've had your longest conversation with him — things were only getting harder.
Every word he said made him seem bigger, or pushed you down as an attempt to make you smaller. His reasoning could go from making complete sense, to being outright idiotic and paranoid. With each action of his being either too small or way too much.
Dick, in that way, was too much.
You could chalk up some of your discomfort and nervousness to your lack of experience with Dick, and being around him. Of course some of his antics and habits would seem strange to you — since you were never able to see much of them, and those that you did notice were from a far, and never up close. You weren't able to experience them yourself, not until now. Though that almost made you grateful for all the times he turned you down or ignored you, seeing as now you could only see how much of a handful he is to deal with.
Maybe that could've changed if you were more familiar with him, but it was too late for that now. Even if you did wonder how this whole thing would've gone if you did know him. If you were more familiar with how Dick acted, and had actually managed to spend time with him. If Dick was more familiar with you, and how that'd change this whole situation… but, again, it was much too late for that. If he really wanted to know you, he would've taken one of the chances you gave him over the years, and yet he didn't. No one did. No one except for Alfred…
You hope he's okay, at least.
Shaking your head, you push your thoughts to the side. There was no use thinking about 'what if's, not when such thoughts and possibilities kept you in the manor for so long. Not when your mind used them against you, and had you keep that pathetic hope you once desperately clung onto. You promised yourself you wouldn't do that anymore, and so you took a breath, and tried to stop them from coming in. They always slip by, but you try to ignore them. Especially since they caused you so much trouble that could have easily been avoided in the past.
You took a small sip of your coffee, only to pull it away and look at the cup strangely.
It was… bitter. More so than you remember, and it immediately struck you as odd. Since, Jessica always managed to make your coffee the exact same way every time, and even if she did make some mistakes here and there, the change was never this significant or noticeable. Not like it was now, with the taste lingering on your tongue, almost trying to further stain your taste buds and remain there for as long as possible. As if trying to permanently ingrain itself in your mouth.
You couldn't help but cringe a bit. Maybe getting coffee really was a bad idea after all…
Sighing, you just continue on and brush the weird occurrence to the side. Whatever, you have enough things to deal with and worry about now. There wasn't much you could do about the coffee, and if anything, maybe that just went to further show how horrible your night is going thanks to Dick.
Though, you wouldn't push it that far, even if your opinion of him was definitely souring by the minute, but the thought was pretty funny to think about, at least.
The night felt calm for once, and it’s only now, with you by yourself, do you realize how much you needed this.
Sure, Gotham was potentially going to hell, and you might see Dick again in a few minutes, but you don't have to worry about that right now. Just here, in the streets, did you have… normal problems. Problems unrelated to a family you no longer wanted to involve yourself with, that also just so happened to be made up of vigilantes. Problems that didn't involve your musical career, and how your rise to fame was becoming both an inconvenience, and a bit of an issue. Problems that… just about everyone has dealt with one way or another.
Your coffee didn't taste quite right, you felt exhausted despite having only walked a bit, and your social battery was just about to hit its limit. The air was just a tad too cold for the clothes you were wearing, you had a strong desire to crawl into bed and sleep like you had nothing else to worry about, and really — besides yourself and making a few dumb mistakes, the only thing you really had to worry about here was getting mugged. Maybe even jumped, at a push.
Yet, such things got a light, airy laugh out of you. You felt so at ease by yourself, and during the most dangerous hours of the night, no less. Despite everything, you couldn't help but find a bit of humor in it, and such a little thing even made you feel better. That uncomfortable heat in your chest dying down, and almost going away entirely as you cooled off.
As funny as it was, you felt safer and so much more at ease without the person that was so adamant about wanting to do all of these things, to protect you. How could you not laugh at the irony?
Suddenly, the bitter taste on your tongue didn't feel so bad anymore.
Walking along Gotham streets when it was so quiet still made you feel a bit uneasy, but for the time being you were able to find some small peace with it. After all, who knew when you'd get another breather like this? Especially with whatever business Dick had with you. Vigilante and hero work wasn't exactly known to be light and easy, after all.
So, you took this moment as it is. Finding odd little details in the night that helped you relax as much as you could before things continued.
Honestly, you didn't think you were ready for whatever Dick was about to talk about or mention, but you doubt any of it could surprise you. After all, in a city where a villain breaking out of the local prison or asylum every now and again during the week was normal, it was hard to be surprised by things related to such occurrences. Since, it even felt like someone was trying to blow up the place at least twice a month, and robberies were so common that it was a wonder that anyone had any fortune left to protect at all.
Though it did still make you curious about what’s going on.
Obviously, it couldn't be any good, but it just seems too… quiet to be anyone that Gotham had already seen before. Seeing as the usual villains and whatnot always made some kind of mess, or made things as extravagant and entertaining as possible. Almost like a certain clown that loved to try and run circles around a certain bat.
Regardless of that, however, you were still more curious about why Dick — or any of the others, really — had bothered to seek you out at all. Sure, the first thing that came to mind was that they need you for something, rather that be for help or something else entirely, but that's only because it made the most sense to you. Why else would they try to find out where you live? You couldn't think of another reason. Though, again, maybe that was because they had ignored you for so long? Even then, you can't think of anything else.
Besides help and such, nothing else made any logical sense to you. There is no other reason. There couldn't be, and if there is — you couldn't think of it. They couldn't just be here for you. They almost weren't capable of it. You're sure, since they have made it very clear a long time ago. You were just too naive and blind to see it at first, but now you did, and you don't plan on becoming blind to that again…
Nevertheless, you continue on your little path.
Now that Dick wasn't with you, your journey to the park was short, and much more peaceful and quiet. It was almost calm in an odd way, but you appreciated it all the same.
The park held that strange feeling of abandonment and emptiness that most of Gotham seemed to have tonight — thanks to whatever was going on — but you manage to ignore it for the most part. Making your way around the park, your pace was slower and your breath was a bit heavier. You felt like you were prolonging the inevitable, and such a feeling spawned so much dread that you almost choked on it. However, you manage, and instead try to find a good place to sit and wait for the time being.
Sure, it would be easy to leave and just go on with your night, but you did want to stay true to your word even if only a little. It's the least you could do, since this would be the last thing you'd ever do for any of them, anyway.
Besides, you were better than them in that way — following through with what you said, instead of saying a ‘maybe’ that'll never come, or a ‘next time’ that'll never arrive. Always stuck to a tomorrow that was always just out of reach.
Your words held meaning, unlike theirs.
Moving on, you eventually found a good spot. It was closer to the center of the park, and the moon could be seen as clearly as it could be with all of the clouds passing by, and building up. The air had an odd moist and damp feeling to it, and it made you think that it might rain after all, seeing as you remember hearing something about it earlier in the day. Yet, that just gave you all the more reason to hope that this whole thing would be wrapped up soon. Though whether that happened with Dick not showing up, or him making good time and keeping things short and simple, you didn't care.
Even if you did hope that he just wouldn't show. For both his sake, and your own.
Settling down on a park bench off to the side of the path, you took a big breath, before letting it all out. You still don't have a good feeling about this, but you'd take all the little victories you could. Since, you managed to avoid going to the manor and clock tower by some miracle, and even got Dick to leave you alone for a little while. Even if a small part of yourself did wish that you had pissed him off enough for him to leave you alone, you wouldn't count on it. He seemed oddly stubborn about sticking around, or to at least keep you around him, and though it made you feel uncomfortable, it unfortunately meant that there was a chance that he'd actually show up again.
You'd pray if you had any faith left, but you don't. Not at the moment, and certainly not with that possibility hanging over your head, just waiting to drop and crush you under its weight. Though for now, you'd try to not think about it as you look around, taking in the dark scenery instead.
The darkness of the night shaded over the park in an ominous, beautiful way. With the trees looming over you, and their leaves providing more shade than necessary. As if trying to protect you from the moon's stare as much as they could. The clouds slowly crawled over the sky, waiting for the perfect opportunity to drop all they were carrying — and leave the burden for Gotham to hold. They covered what could be made out of the blank, pitch black void that was the night sky, with the moon trying its hardest to shine through. To take a glimpse of the chaos below, and judge you in its silence.
A loose breeze drifts by, causing you to shiver thanks to its added chill over the night's natural coolness. The sounds of nature were hardly audible, as if even the insects have been silenced by whatever is going on, and the only thing you could hear was that constant, sickening snapping and cracking of broken bones, and that popping from joints getting dislocated. Even if such noises were much fainter now, thanks to the spot you've chosen, they still managed to reach you here, and dominate all other noises that tried to make themselves known, with its echo.
You could only sympathize with their desperation to be heard, to be noticed — only for the violence to cover all of their efforts. Maybe you'd even pity them, but you already felt foolish over your emotions, and feeling sympathy over noises was silly enough. You have already made enough humorous and dumb choices tonight, so you'd at least try to not make another. Even if you bothering to actually wait here, instead of leaving right away, is dumb enough.
You don't know if it was hilarious or sad how many stupid choices you’re making in one night, and all because of the people you are trying to leave behind. People you were so sure would never bother to look for you or even give you a single thought, and yet here you are now. Waiting for one of them to show up – only because suddenly he couldn't leave you alone. Almost like he couldn't afford to, and now you couldn't help but debate over the humor and sadness of that.
Of course it had to be now, it had to be tonight, that one of them showed up - but you don't know what exactly you're expecting. After all, if one of them were to try and show their face to you despite everything, it would be at the worst time possible. It felt fitting in an odd way, so maybe it was only right that things went down like this. That life throw one of the biggest ‘fuck you's it could at you, during a time where you are trying to recover. To heal. To get better.
Of course he just had to show his face when you were done with him — with them, and their whole family. It had to be now, when you're trying to move on, did an effort have to be made. It couldn't be while you were in the manor - when you were trying to do the same.
… Maybe you should've let him bust open the door to your apartment after all, and just ran away while you still had the chance.
Yet, as if knowing you were thinking of walking away while he still wasn't around, Dick finally appeared and made himself known with a little whistle.
You turn your head and face him, his appearance almost making you laugh, but you didn't have it in you to do so. Much too exhausted and fatigued to even try, and your feelings were too mixed up to even consider the thought. Though you did have to admit, he did look a little funny.
Dick almost looked out of breath, but he still manages a smile when you turn to look at him. The clothes he wore looked strangely baggy, and you could've sworn that you saw the smallest glimpses of various price tags that were tucked away sloppily. Which made it look like he really was in a rush, and… well, you didn't know how to feel about that. Yet, in that same moment, you caught the tiniest bit of his suit right under the shirt he wore. Further ‘hinting’ at the fact that Dick had been in such a hurry that he didn't actually bother to change, and instead opted to cover up his suit.
His mask was off, at least, and for a moment you wondered where he put it until you noticed him subtly stuffing something in his pocket. Which is funny as it is concerning.
Dick wore an oversized coat that he left open, with a collar shirt underneath that had two of the buttons unbuttoned, along with sweatpants and shoes that didn't quite look his size. All in all, he looked like a mess, but Wayne's look good in everything for a reason, you suppose.
“Made it just in time! I told you I would, didn't I?” Dick chuckles, still holding onto the coffee you had given him earlier with one hand. The smile on his face quickly grew into a playful smirk, and you didn't know if you should find it weird or oddly scary how much closer he seems to be to the side of him you've only seen at a distance before. The side you have seen at galas or with his family, occasionally. A side you didn't have any personal experience with until now, and the dread you felt from before only grew at that.
“Um, no, you didn't-” You try to point out, only for him to cut you off.
“Well, it probably just slipped my mind, but I'm here now!” He muses, and you can’t help but find his tone off putting considering how things ended off a few minutes ago. He both looks and sounds way too happy for someone who was so annoyed with you before.
“I didn't keep you waiting, did I?” Dick steps closer, making his way over to you casually. Not a single trace of his previous demeanor could be found.
You can't help but move a little further away, and bite your tongue. You hoped he would've, that he did, but unfortunately he did make good time. Since, from the moment you sat down, Dick appeared only a minute after, and had it not been for his messy outfit, you would've thought that he had planned this whole thing out — down to the very last second.
“No…” You drag on, looking away once again, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.
Yet, despite the implications of it, Dick couldn't help but find it… cute, in an odd way. Causing him to exhale softly, his smirk dying back down into a smile. Blue hues shining as they look down at you.
He moves to sit down on the bench — noticing a spot next to you, but deciding to sit beside you instead. Still remaining close, but not getting in your space entirely, since he felt like you both weren't at that point just yet. There was an armrest between the both of you, and he felt as if that'd be enough for now. Even if he did want to move closer, he decides that this was the least he could do for having been ignoring your discomfort and clear nervousness thus far.
While he still couldn’t fully bring himself to acknowledge or accept it — since he still doesn't want to think about it — he at least wants to try and do this small thing for you.
Though, the space between you and him would never be big enough for you to be comfortable. Since just knowing he was around, and that you were in his space, already made you feel a certain way, but he didn't have to know that. Not that you would tell him, anyway.
Dick took this little opportunity to take a slow, long sip of his coffee. The drink not quite to his liking, but he wouldn't complain since you seem to like that little diner, and the last thing he wants is for your opinion of him to get worse, so he kept his mouth shut. Besides, it wasn't even that bad anyway, especially knowing that it came from a place that you enjoy going to.
Silence was quick to fall over the both of you again. Yet, this time, Dick didn't exactly have a problem with it.
Even if you weren't looking at him, he could still see that little twinkle in your eyes that the faint bits of moonlight were able to show and make clear. How your hair matched you just right, and the way you did it and took care of it completed your look even more. Along with how even the little things on your person said so much, yet so little, about who you are now. About who you have become after all this time.
A sense of endearment and sentimentality suddenly washes over Dick, and he can't help but feel as if it were just yesterday that you were introduced to the whole family. Though he still couldn't quite describe the look in your eyes then, as there was an unmistakable hint of excitement and unfounded joy that lingered when you first met them all. When you first met him.
You were such a little thing back then, and you have grown so much since. Dick still can't help but think about it even as he finally pulls the cup away from his lips, and sighs, content.
You were so small, and little. Your face round and youthful, hands soft and delicate - just like everything about you at the time. The world and the people in it were still so new to you, and you looked just about ready to explore it all. To see every little thing you could, and learn about everything that you found. ‘Wonder’ was the first word he thought of when he saw you that day, and looked at your expression. It was full of that child wonderment.
Yet… look at you now. Grown, and significantly taller than you were before. Face matured and settled, but still did have a youthful look to it. He notes how your hands did seem to be a bit rougher, and instead of delicacy, he found a gentleness that was always there — but is more prominent now. That look of wonder gone, and now replaced with something more. Something complicated and complex in nature, and yet simple all the same. There's a sense of turmoil but… he couldn't look much deeper than that. He can't bring himself to.
Point is, you have clearly changed.
Sure, he noted how you looked different and everything before, but now that same conclusion felt different in a strange way. Though maybe that was because he wasn't only looking at you now, but seeing you as well.
Dick doesn't just see the change in your clothes, and how your voice has changed its tempo and volume, but some other things as well. Maybe that's because he's able to connect some things he's learned about you over the course of the entire day, back to you and how you showed yourself now. How those details presented themselves in your appearance and mannerisms.
It’s a lot to take in, sure, but in this moment of silence - Dick found himself slowly absorbing all of this information, taking it all in and finding ways to love you through it. Even if the changes made a particular fact all the more clear — despite the time he has missed, he did genuinely love the person you have become. He does now, at least.
Despite everything he has done to you, or lack thereof, you have managed so much on your own. Despite him and the family not being around when they could've, when they should've, you managed to pave your own path and face all the challenges it brought by yourself - from what Dick could tell anyway. Even if he wasn't fully aware of all you have gone through in his absence, and he knew that as well – you’re still here. You're sitting beside him, looking at the scenery of the park, coffee cup in hand, and just… living in this moment with him.
Dick didn't know when such small things made him feel so happy or content, but in this moment, with you, it's like all he could feel was happy and put together, in a weird way. He doesn't know how to describe it, but now that he's here with you, in your space and presence, he feels… whole. Complete. Like all the missing pieces he didn't even notice were gone, all fell into place when you were around. With you here with him, he feels the happiest he's been in a long while, and he couldn't even begin to explain why.
He's only really known you for a day, but it already felt like he's spent a lifetime with you.
“Hey… Y/n?” He spoke up, breaking the silence between the both of you, looking back at the coffee cup in his hands. “I just want to say that… I'm happy you're here, and that you let me see you.” He begins, slowly looking back at you, an easy but pleasant smile on his face. It was easily the most natural one he's shown you tonight, and his clear unannounced happiness, no matter how light, made the pit in your stomach grow deeper and wider.
Why is he looking at you like that? And why did it hurt to see it now? Why did it relight the fire in your chest, and make it burn - the flames barely tickling your chest from the inside? Why did you feel like this? What did you do to cause him to wear such a smile?
Why now? What was going on?
“I know we haven't talked much, or really hung out, but this… this is nice for what it's worth, and I'm happy that I get the chance to spend this time with you despite everything.” The small bits of moonlight shined in his eyes, almost making Dick appear better than he was. More friendly, charming, and brighter than you saw him as. You couldn't stand the sight. Your dread growing much too big for you to keep looking at him.
So, you look away. Hoping that Dick would get whatever kind of message you were trying to send - and yet, even if he saw it, he didn't bother to decipher it. Words tumbling out of his mouth before he could think them over, too deep in his own feelings to see yours. Though he doesn't seem to mind as he said the words that began to fill his heart, and let them out into the open air. The wind whisking them away, and shoving them into your ears.
“You… mean a lot to me, and I know that, again, we haven’t really done much together, or really spent the most time together either, but- you matter to me. You’re important to me, and I’m sorry that was never made clear before.” He blurts out, heart aching and swelling at his own words, but Dick just couldn’t help himself. He feels like he needs to say something, to say this, and he doesn't want to have to wait any longer to say it. Even if you don’t like him or saw him a certain way, he wants to at least say this. To tell you his truth - his new truth. A truth that is becoming more clear to him as the seconds pass. Seconds he spent with you. “I know that I’ve messed up- a lot, and I know that it isn’t just me that made things turn out like this, but I at least want to let you know that I do care about you. I just…” Dick ran a hand through his hair, pausing for a moment as countless words he wanted to say float around in his head, but he just didn't know how to say them. Or even say them in a way that would get you to understand, or at least hear him out.
He looks away for a moment before looking back at you. Hand dropping and folding around his cup once again. “I’m sorry, for everything. For missing your concerts and performances, and just- everything. I should’ve been there, and even if I was busy, that isn’t an excuse. I should’ve made time for you, I could’ve, and yet it just always slipped my mind and… I should’ve never done that to you. You didn’t- you don’t deserve to go through that, you didn’t have to, and yet you did, and I’m just.. so sorry that now is the time that I’m realizing this. You… you deserve so much more than what we gave you, and I’m sorry if that made you feel any less than what you are- because you are amazing, and wonderful, and bright-!”
“You’re.. you’re a lot of things, and I really couldn’t list them all since I’m still slowly seeing it all for myself. Though even then, we’d be here for a while… wouldn’t we?” Dick chuckles lightly, a tinge of endearment in his tone, with a hint of a softness that was slowly becoming more and more apparent as he went on. His expression softened even more, and yet all you could feel was dread and anger that grew with each sentence that fell out of his mouth.
Was he messing with you? Was Dick trying to make himself feel better about everything, or just mess you up even more? Maybe both?
Why was he saying all of this now? Why tonight? Why now of all times? His words… they couldn’t be true. They can’t be. If they were, if they are – then why did he wait so long? How come he didn’t realize anything sooner? Why couldn’t he realize it sooner? Why now? Why right this minute, when you were almost ready to let go?
Why is he trying to give you hope over a future, a dream, a wish you never thought would come true? That they, indirectly or not, made you believe would never be made into a reality? No matter how much you did, and sacrificed for them behind the scenes? Was he trying to trick you? Did he really believe that you’d allow yourself to become blind again? That you could actually take the little words that he’s saying to you at face value, after all this time? After all of your wasted effort?
Did he really think that he could salvage what little remained of your nonexistent relationship with him, with just a few words and soft smiles? That you would just suddenly be willing to let him back into your life, after you spent the last year or so just trying to make it so that once you left, you’d never have to turn back? After everything he and the others put you through?
You understood that they were busy. That protecting Gotham and Bludhaven were more important to them than you’d ever be. That they care more about their work and their own lives than they never will about anything you’d try to say to them - you understood that well. It was almost impossible not too with how long you’ve had to deal with it, and come to terms with everything over the few months you’ve given yourself to truly soak everything in and reflect. The one time you gave yourself a breather to process all that's happened over the years you wasted on them, and think about how you are going to move forward in your life. How you’re going to deal with the family moving forward, or if you’d ever bother to deal with them at all. Though, you're still in that process, and had yet to really think about what you’d do moving forward.
Yet, Dick just had to show up while you were in that process. He just had to show his face after so long, and do this to you. Torment you with his words, and cause further conflict inside of you that you don’t need. Causing more heartache and pain that you didn’t want, and yet he just had to keep going, he had to keep talking. He couldn’t just walk away again like he had all of those other times when you were fighting to spend time with him, to just mean something to him. Dick just had to show up, and lie to your face about this. He just had to finally notice you, and hurt you more.
“I’m… I’m just really glad I got to see you is all I’m trying to say, I guess. And that I missed you too, in all honesty.”
So he keeps going, it seems. He just has to say that, like you’d believe him. Like you’d truly think that he cared about you more than the criminals in Gotham did. Like he wasn’t just lying to your face in an attempt to try and hurt you more. To crush what little part of your heart you still had given to them, and destroy it entirely.
Honestly, now it was like he's trying to get you to hate him. To rid of the memories where you used to look up to him, and really tried to see him as your older brother until the reality of it all crushed you. Until reality forced your eyes open, and made you realize the little you had, and the little he cared.
Your own anger was beginning to blind you, and your hatred grew within you - though you hardly found a part of yourself that cared anymore.
Even if Dick’s words are true to him, they aren't to you, and that’s all you cared about. Since, as far as you know, they were never true until he suddenly felt bad, and this whole thing started.
However, you still try to remain civil. Just taking in a breath, and sighing before looking back at Dick. Exhaustion becoming more evident, anger and hatred beginning to bloom – but you manage to tuck it away for now. No matter how frustrated Dick makes you, you could keep your composer. You could keep yourself together, and by God would you try no matter how much you want to just get up and leave. No matter how much you want to think that he wasn’t worth the time or energy. At least, not anymore.
“Dick, just tell me why you’re here.” You say, getting straight to the point and seemingly completely ignoring what he said before. Not taking his words to heart, no matter how much they sting and add fuel to the flame growing in your chest.
Dick looks at you confused, a little taken aback by your response, but just pushes it to the side. Only raising a brow, managing to keep up his smile, “What do you mean? I told you already, silly.” He chuckles a bit, his words already pinching at your skin.
“I’m here to see you.”
‘Bullshit.’ You immediately thought, but don’t say out loud. Not yet, anyway.
“It’s obvious that something’s going on, I mean- do you hear the sounds echoing throughout Gotham? Or, hell, how quiet it is besides said noises?” You ask, tone shifting with every word that spilled out of your mouth, undertone unclear, but Dick didn’t like it. “You don’t have to explain what’s going on, but please, just tell me how or if I can help so that we can both go on with our nights? I know you don’t have time for this. Both of us don’t.”
Dick can only furrow his brows in response, his confusion growing the more you spoke, but also worried about the tone you’re using with him. A tone that was growing increasingly harsh.
“What are you talking about? I never said I needed your help with anything, and didn’t I already mention that the others are handling the situation?” Dick said, genuinely confused, and yet that only seems to make the flame in your chest burn brighter.
“Then what are you doing here? Why are we even talking right now if you don’t need anything from me?” You ask, voice rising in volume a bit before you bring it back down. The little stings Dick’s words left on your skin turning into a grip around your heart.
“I’ve already told you, Y/n…. I just wanted to see you.” Dick said again, growing a little more worried now.
“Yes, but why? What made you want to see me so badly that you even went out of your way to find out where I live?” You couldn’t help but ask, frustration growing but so did your desperation. Over what, you don’t know, but all you knew was that you want this to be over. You want to go home. You want to be away from Dick. From them.
Even if your home probably wouldn’t feel as safe anymore now that they knew where it is, and you knew that too, but couldn't find it in yourself to care. Anywhere that wasn't in the immediate vicinity of Dick felt better than being here, with him at arm's length.
“I need a reason to see my younger sibling now? I can’t just come visit them?” Dick asks, still worried and confused, yes, but an odd tone of sarcasm seemed to develop under his tongue.
“After months of no contact? After all that’s happened?” You say as a meaningless, humorless laugh escapes you before your voice drops and cements itself, “Yes. Yes you do, because you’ve never visited me before. You’ve never gone out of your way like this, not even to see me in my own room. So why now? Why tonight? Why come see me?”
Your words stung Dick, and you can tell with how he flinches a bit at your words, if only for a brief moment. He even cringes a little, as if they have physically hurt him, but you didn’t react much. You want to know why, because it made no sense to you, and by God did you deserve an answer.
There is no reason why he should’ve come to see you, none. You aren’t related to him, and even if you are by law, he’s never treated you like family in the past - just someone else who lives in the manor, but over time you began to believe that he started to forget that too, with how he’d grow increasingly surprised by seeing you in person when he'd occasionally visit.
You meant nothing to him, last you checked. So what was so important that he and the others needed to find out where you live, and seek you out like this? What was going on?
From how you look at Dick, he can tell you wanted to know. That you want a ‘real’ answer, one that you’d accept, anyway. Along with the fact that you aren’t going to take your words back, finding them to be nothing less than true, and even if they are, they don’t hurt any less. Especially considering how far he’s come today. How much he’s seen, and how his view is beginning to change. How you were growing on him without even knowing it, making him realize that some of it isn’t even you to begin with. Though there wasn’t much he could do about that, not right now. Not with you getting worked up like this, and not with how he's beginning to hurt too.
The truth hurt, it almost always did. Never sparing anyone, and almost acting as a sword rather than weight. A dagger than another page, but paper cuts did exist for a reason – he supposes.
“I.. I know that it might seem hard to believe, considering everything, but that really is all there is to it.” Dick says, trying to explain as he clutches onto the coffee cup in his hands, “I just want to see you because I was worried, and I… I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That’s all.”
“Then what about the others? Why find out where I live? What’s with all the noise?” Your desperation was becoming a little clearer as you spoke quickly, the questions falling out of your mouth as your heart began to squeeze tightly. The smoke that the fire in your chest was creating, started to reach and fill your lungs little by little with each passing second.
“The others are busy taking care of the city, and how else am I supposed to see you? You weren’t answering any of my or Tim’s calls or texts. We…” Dick drags on a little before just sighing, looking dejected, “I was worried about you- I am worried about you. I thought something happened, and I had to know if something did. Is that so wrong? Can I not check on my younger siblings anymore?”
“That's not what I meant, and you know that.” You point out straight away, but did falter the slightest bit when he mentions how you were ignoring them trying to contact you earlier. However, you didn't back down. “And both of you just started contacting me today. I didn't have any time to answer either of you before you showed up at my door.”
“Really? You had absolutely no time at all to pick up the phone? Not even send a quick message, or even read our texts?”
“I was busy? And was doing something else, so I couldn't get to the phone right away.”
“For several hours? Y/n, you've got to be kidding me.” Dick chuckles out, obviously not believing you, which ticks you off even more.
“What, so I can't do other things? I have to be at your every beck and call, now?” You scoff, rolling your eyes. “None of you have ever contacted me first, so I'm sorry that I didn't have any time to respond to whatever you both had to say. I have my own life to deal with, you do know that, right?”
“That's not what I-” Dick cuts himself off, just letting out a sigh before speaking again after thinking over how to reword what he wants to say, “Look, just- what was so important that made it so you couldn't answer the phone?” He asks instead, searching your expression for something, and furrowing his brows when he couldn't find it.
“... That's none of your business.” You answer instead, narrowing your eyes at him a little. Whatever you did in your life, he didn't have to know. He doesn't have the right to know, not anymore. You may have been willing to offer him this one chance to ask something from you to help with whatever is going on, but that was all, and where your generosity ended. It wasn't a chance to reconnect, or to rebuild what never was, and still isn't.
If there's anything that this whole situation has told you, it's that you shouldn't have tried in the first place - and that maybe, just maybe, you should've left sooner. That was clear to you now.
“...” It's like Dick could tell things were getting worse this way. He didn't know what was causing it or how, but he could feel it. Especially with how you were growing increasingly upset, and how he was as well.
So, he tried to settle down a little and just took a breath. At this rate, he could only dread how things would get, and so he at least tried to change the direction of things a bit. Yet, he still couldn't help himself either. Maybe he didn't deserve to know, but he did want to ask.
“Look, just-” he tries to find the words to say, to not make this whole thing worse than it already is, and settles on a simpler question. One he figures you can handle, one he hopes does what he wants it to do. “Can you at least tell me why you keep ignoring me when I say that I'm here to see you? Or at least why you just… brush it off?” Dick manages to say, eyes never once leaving you, but for a different reason this time.
He just wants you to open up, but how could you do that when he kept you out for so long? When he locked that door so long ago, and forgot where he left the key? Leaving him to never know of the chair you left right under the handle.
“... What do you-”
“You know what I'm talking about, Y/n, just… please.” Dick almost pleads, which makes you uncomfortable. Causing you to press your lips into a thin line once again, “I don't want this to…” he doesn't want to say it outloud. He couldn't bring himself to. Especially when he doesn't want it to be true. To be made into reality.
“I just want to know, Y/n. So please, just tell me? Because I don't understand why you keep avoiding it, or just don't acknowledge it at all.” Dick says instead, which causes you to grow quiet in the process.
“...”
You couldn't think of anything to say, just being able to look at him before glancing away and taking in a breath of your own. You couldn't bring yourself to answer the question because - what were you supposed to say? What are you supposed to say? The truth? Or make up a lie? Though even if you picked one or the other, would it be for yourself? Or for Dick?
You didn't know, and a special kind of uncertainty came with that, jabbing your gut and making the flame within you crackle harshly. You hate this. You hate this more than what their inaction did to you, and almost as much as the realization that it's because of them that you're in this position to begin with.
“Why do you think?” You begin, emotions and thoughts swarming in your head and squeezing your heart. You want to not care, to brush it all off as you have before, but only find yourself hurting despite everything. Why does your chest hurt so much? Why did it feel like something was pressing against it, threatening to pierce it? “Why do you think that I'm ‘ignoring’ it or just… dismiss it?”
Dick hates how you look away, and the swirl of emotion he saw in your eyes when you looked at him before. Which only made his own emotions grow like a heavy weight, threatening to fall on him. To crush him, and only leave the tiniest parts of himself behind. Parts that still hung onto that false hope he made himself.
He knew, or at least had an idea, but he ignored it. Dick wants to hear it from you, even if he doesn't know what he's hoping for with that. He knows of his faults, and yet not the entirety of them - at least, that was the impression he was getting from all of this.
He isn't blind, but there are only so many things he could let himself see before the ugliness of it all rears its head at him, and snarls. Before the quiet part that he refuses to glance at, becomes loud.
“I… I don't know,” Dick manages to say after a moment, still looking at you as he searches for something, anything that will point things in a different direction. Something that will give the little hope he has anything to cling on to.
Something he doesn't find.
He takes in another breath, “Can you please just… tell me? I do want to know, I really do- so just, please. Tell me why you keep ignoring what I'm saying?”
“I'm not-” You cut yourself off, speaking before you could come up with a response, the words tumbling out of your mouth quickly before you caught yourself and take in a slow, uneven breath. “I'm not ignoring what you're saying. I'm not, but- just…” You drag on before finally letting out a sigh. Some of the tension freeing itself from your body, but not enough for it to let you truly calm down or relax.
“What do you expect me to do? To say?” You finally manage to voice it outloud, to ask as you look back at Dick briefly. With the moon trying its hardest to peek through the clouds as they begin to fill and crowd the sky. “You haven't checked up on me in all the years I was in the manor, and, hell, I doubt you even know where my room is-”
“I know where it is.”
“- and even if you do, that doesn't change what happened. Or, really, what didn't.” You narrow your eyes at Dick's sudden words, but don't comment on them as you continue, voice wavering slightly, “You've… never checked up on me before, or even asked me if I was okay- we barely even greeted each other, and I didn't see you around all that often. I didn't get to. So I'm sorry if it's hard for me to believe that you just suddenly care, or want to check up on me after all this time.” You say, still biting your tongue and holding yourself back from sharing more than you should. From giving more than you already have.
“...” Dick's lips press into a thin line before he goes to speak again, “I understand that, but… why can't that change now? Why can't I care about you now?”
“It isn't about what you can and can't do, Dick. Nor what can be changed now or not, it's…” A quick, small groan escapes you as you try to gather the words you want to say, and finally let them out when you do, “it's what I'm used to, Dick. That's just how it is.”
Finally, dread made its way into Dick’s heart as well, “So… that's it? You're just ‘used to it’? And I can't change that?”
“I don’t know, can you?” You asked sarcastically in a dead tone, already tired of all of this, and yet the fire in your chest continues to burn ever so brightly. “You haven’t really done a good job of that thus far, if that's what you’re trying to do. I’ll say that much.” Your words hurt, you could tell right away. The way he looked at you said everything, but you didn’t try to look deeper than what presented itself on the surface.
“This isn’t some kind of…. ‘reconnecting session’, stuff like that doesn’t really matter. I thought something serious- something important was going on, or had happened, that’s why I bothered with… all of this.” You point out and explain, only watching as the expression on Dick’s face morphed into something else. Something you couldn’t decipher, but didn’t like looking at. A face that made your stomach twist, with dread pouring out of every crevasse it could manage.
“And why would you think that? I don’t remember saying anything that would hint at that, and even then I would’ve said it outright.”
“You suddenly appeared at my door in the suit, and at some point was banging on it. How could I not think something was going on? Or that you didn’t need something from me? That something serious wasn’t happening? Especially when I don’t remember telling any of you where I live-”
“Okay, okay. I… I get it,” He didn’t, at least maybe not to the extent one would hope he would, but he didn’t want to argue. Not here, and not with you. Especially not when he was really beginning to see you. “But still… I want to change that. I want to make it up to you and fix things. Is that so bad?”
“...” You had no response to that, but even if you did, what could you say? You had imagined countless instances like this, but those situations weren’t real — this one was. In those scenarios, you always had something to say, rather it be good or bad, and you always knew what to do. Yet here, now that it was actually happening, you had nothing. You didn’t know what to do or say, and even if you did have some things you wanted to just let spill out, you kept them in. You didn’t want things to get worse either, but the more Dick talked, the harder that became.
Why couldn’t he just be the person from your thoughts and dreams? The person you always saw him as until now?
“I just…” Dick tries to gather his thoughts, not exactly liking your silence but trying to push on anyway. He finally had a chance, and he’d be damned to not take it. “I want to make things right, and yeah, maybe it's late- really, um, late, but I still want to try.” He manages to say, taking a small, quick breath before he continues, an easy smile trying to settle on his face.
“You deserve better, and I want to be better for you. Things may not be the same, and sure, it might be a bit awkward-” He chuckles slightly in between his words, “-but I think that we can… work it out if you just give it a try. Give me a chance-”
“But I did.” You manage to say, cutting Dick off. He has to fight for his smile to not falter immediately, unaware of how your heart pounded harshly in your chest, the fire it held growing and clawing at the bars of its cage that was your ribs and flesh. Scorching your lungs, and the smoke causing your throat to close, making it harder to breathe.
“... What?” Dick said, partially confused but still trying to at least seem optimistic. A weight of its own beginning to press down on him.
“... What do you think I did all of this time?” You ask, looking away for a moment, glancing up at the covered moon before looking back at Dick, “What do you think I did all of those years I spent at the manor? Before I decided to move out, and be on my own?”
“...” Dick didn’t have an answer, not one he said right away, anyway. Not one that wouldn’t make him look bad, but he didn’t know what was worse. Staying quiet when he knew a part of it, or saying the part he knew and risk being wrong, revealing how he still didn’t know the full picture despite everything. Despite getting a glance into a life he knew he wasn’t involved in, and feeling more guilty all the while.
However, you decide that his small bit of silence was enough of an answer, and just as Dick opened his mouth to say something, you spoke again. “Most of my time in the manor I’ve spent trying to give you chances- to give the others a chance. Trying to give opportunities to just do something, try anything, and… well,” You look away fully this time, caressing the coffee cup in your hand, it’s dying warm doing little to help you, causing you to draw your attention to the shaded greenery of the park instead.
“We both know how that turned out.”
If your words didn’t hurt him before, they definitely did now. Even as Dick fought to keep that smile of his up, it was pointless. You were right, and he knew that. Even if he didn’t know the true extent of your words, he was at least aware of the times where you’d try to get them to see you perform, to hear your songs and listen to your music that had gotten you this far. He knew that much, and yet he still couldn’t help but try. He wants to mean more to you, to do what he hasn’t done up until this point, to truly be your older brother, to be your family - despite how long he’s been unable to do that.
“I… I know, and I’m sorry.” Dick could only say that much, even if it did little in the long run, and a part of himself could tell that his words only made whatever you were feeling worse as you inched away from him, the sight of the small action breaking his heart even more.
“Maybe that doesn’t mean much, but it’s true. I’m just… sorry that things turned out this way. That we- that I never noticed how hard you were trying until now, and even if it is late, I want to be honest and say that I’m sorry.” He adds, finally managing to look away as well as he looked down at the cup in his hands, thoughts swarming and eating away at his heart. Even if they were going too fast for him to process them all, they hurt him all the same and caused his worry to grow. “I’m sorry for everything, for never noticing what was going on or the extent of it, or appreciating the effort you tried to put in for our attention, for just not… being around. You deserve better- and I want to give that. I want to give you want you deserve and finally be-”
“Stop.” You said under your breath, voice wavering as you take in a shaky breath. Yet, even as it falls upon deaf ears, and Dick couldn’t make out exactly what you said, he still pauses for a moment before speaking again.
“... I just want to fix things, Y/n.” Dick says instead, but it doesn’t make you feel any better, nothing does.
“You mean a lot to me.” You just want him to stop.
“And maybe that’s… weird to hear with everything that’s happened. But it is true, and I’m sorry I never made that clear before.” You want him to stop lying to you, to stop trying to make you feel better. You’ve been doing fine on your own without him, without them, and so the only thing you wanted now was for Dick to stop and leave. To act like he had before, and go back to ignoring you.
“So… let’s change that, okay? I… I want to spend more time with you.” You want him to shut up. You want it so bad that it hurts to hear him talk as he goes on and on. His voice ringing in your ears to a point you’re convinced that they’ll bleed if this continues on for any longer. If he continues to talk for any longer.
“I’m being honest, I really want to try and be your-”
“Stop… please, just- just stop.” You manage to say, voice small and wavering as you try to take in another breath. You want to be unbothered, unhurt, painless, and numb, but you can’t and you don’t know why. You thought you had gotten used to this, and you had, but to hear that - to hear the words you’ve wanted to hear for so many years - that hurt more than anything else. The pain was indescribable, and its result only made that fire grow, the flames scratching at your chest even harder, and your heart bleeding as a result.
Suddenly, all the progress you’ve made over all the months you’ve been away feel useless now. Reduced to nothing in Dick’s presence as his words stripped down your walls in the most violent, volatile ways possible.
Once upon a time, you fought to have a single conversation with him that lasted more than just a few short exchanges, and now you’d do anything to have that back. For him to go back to the Dick you grew up with, the one you fought to even have to look at you for more than a few seconds.
“You can’t do this to me.” You said without thinking, voice weak and shaky as you scramble to keep yourself together, to hold back tears that you refuse to spill – refusing to shed any more over them. Refusing to let all of your progress go to waste just like that.
You were happy, you have been happy these past few months, and you refuse for that to be taken away from you.
“What? Y/n, what do you mean-” Dick tries to speak, but you don’t give him the luxury, not after this. Not after what he’s been doing to you.
“You can’t do this to me,” You repeat, trying to breathe and fight past the smoke building in your lungs, nearly gasping for air as your teeth begin to grind, “you can’t- you just can’t. So stop… please just..” You try to take in another breath, no matter how small it is or strangled it feels.
“Just. Stop.”
“...” It’s like no matter what Dick tries to do, things end up becoming worse, and he hates that he doesn’t know why. He can't understand why.
Clearly he’s hurting you, he could see that no matter how much he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t know what he’s saying that’s hurting you. He doesn’t know what he’s doing that’s causing you to become so upset.
After all, don’t you want this? Don’t you want him to try? For your efforts to be reciprocated? Don’t you want to be family too? For him to try and be what he’s supposed to have been all of this time? Don’t you want him to try and be your big brother?
You couldn’t have given up yet, right? There was no way you could have. You couldn’t have given up after all you have done, after all the awards and such he saw that you’ve earned over the years – awards that were still in your room. You couldn’t have given up. That's impossible, there’s no way. No one would throw all of that away, right? No one would do all that you have, only to just put it all behind them - not anyone that Dick could think of at the moment.
… He hated how he thought of it anyway. How the thought creeped into his mind, and remained there. Letting his dread and worry grow as reality began to sneak its way into his brain.
Dick doesn’t want to think about it – let along consider the idea, but this isn’t about him. This isn’t about what he thinks or feels.
This is about you, and despite his words, he hates that he had forgotten that already.
“Y/n,” He calls out to you softly, really trying this time, and you hate that detail with all of your heart, “can you just please tell me what’s wrong?” Dick’s words make you physically pause, even causing your rushing thoughts to come to a halt. They repeat in your head once more, and you can only think one thing.
Is he seriously asking you that?
“I know that you’re upset, but I want to work through this with you. So, just tell me so I can help, okay-?”
“Stop- God, just please stop, Dick.” You manage to say, already getting slightly choked up before you manage to shakily exhale, trying your hardest to keep it together as your heart squeezes and your chest tightens. You can’t bring yourself to look at Dick, but your teeth grind as you scramble to keep the flames eating up your body from the inside, trapped and hidden away.
“You can’t do this to me,” You say more desperately than you wanted to, a few tears developing that you fight back violently to keep them from spilling, your own teeth getting crushed and feel as if they were beginning to chip and break with how hard they’re grinding against each other. “You can’t- you can’t-” You struggle to get the words out, nearly gasping for air as that sickening, thick smoke threatens to escape your lungs.
“You can’t do this to me, you can’t give me hope.” You finally say, voice straining as your breath trembles. When you finally do look at Dick, neither of your expressions are good ones. Both filled with mixes of emotions, but his was more deep and almost controlled, while yours was frantic and ever changing.
“... What?”
“After all of this time, after everything- everything I’ve been put through. Everything I’ve been trying to move on from-” You struggle to breathe momentarily, but manage to get yet another gasp of air before continuing, “you can’t just try and give me hope like that. You can’t. You just- can’t.”
Now it’s Dick’s turn to pause as he processes what you said, each word making the weight in his chest sink deeper and deeper until it reaches his stomach. The very thing he seems to dread is becoming more real with every minute that passes and he hates that more than anything. He wants to ignore it, to push past it, but how can he do that when it’s right in front of him? How can he do that when something worse could be laying underneath everything?
He doesn’t want to think about it, and so he doesn’t and tries to tuck it away as he goes on to say, “But… why? Why can’t I give that to you? Why can’t I try to help you?”
“Dick, please, for the love of god just-” You want to say it, you really do, but manage to hold yourself back with the little self control you have, and simply just take in the biggest breath you can manage, and sigh just as deeply. “Nevermind, and just- you know what? We’re… we’re done here.” You say instead. Placing your coffee cup on the bench, not even caring that you barely finished the drink, and move to stand up.
“What? Wait- what?” Dick asks, sitting up and tensing when you stand, but not making a move just yet, even if it was clear that he’d do something. What, you don’t know, but you didn’t notice anyway as you were too focused on yourself and getting out of this situation.
“We’re done here, what else do I have to say?” You don’t look back at Dick, instead continue to try and steady your breath. Trying to calm yourself down, and finally do something to quell the burning flames inside your chest, “This isn’t going anywhere, and we aren’t discussing anything important, so… let’s call it here. I’m leaving.” You say outright, being blunt this time as you make a move to step away-
Only to be stopped when Dick suddenly grabs your wrist, his grasp a touch too tight.
“Hold on- who said you get to decide that?” Dick asks, having sprung up to grab you as swiftly and quickly as he did, a flash of panic showing on his face before he pushed it aside and swallowed his nerves. He tries to manage another smile, even if it doesn’t reach his eyes yet again, “Let’s just talk about this, okay? There’s no need to overreact.”
“Overreact…?” You glance back at him, physically feeling as all of your previous progress to calm yourself was quickly diminishing, the fire only roaring to life at Dick’s words, and it’s like he could feel it too with how his smile faltered the smallest bit before he tried to pick it up again.
“Okay- maybe not overreact, but we can still talk about this… can’t we?” He says instead, as if realizing his mistake once you point it out. Scrambling for something, anything.
You don’t say anything right away, your chest only hurting even more, “And talk about what, exactly?” You ask, just barely being able to hear the clouds overhead groan in displeasure, “What is there to talk about? We have nothing to discuss, and so we should just end things here.”
An airy laugh escapes Dick, almost as he can’t believe what you’re saying, and yet he continues to stare at you. All he does is raise a brow, his heart pounding as that weight in his stomach drops further, “About… everything?” He says, as if a little unsure of how to word it, but keeps going anyway, “About the family, about us, about you- everything! What isn’t there to talk about?” He counters, furrowing his brows a little.
He knows you want to leave, but he can’t bring himself to let you go. Not when he doesn’t know when he’ll have this chance again. Not when he’s so close – but to what, he doesn’t know anymore. All he knows is that it deals with you, and that’s enough for him.
“... But there isn’t anything important to talk about.” You point out as if it was obvious, raising a brow of your own as you look back at Dick, ignoring how the longer Dick held onto your wrist, the heavier your dread became. Nearly making it impossible to breathe despite how you were trying to act now, “Again, I even bothered to do any of this because I thought something was going on or that you needed something from me, and I turned out to be wrong, so there’s no other reason for me to be here.” You try to be logical, or seem that way, anyway. You try to give whatever bullshit reason you can, saying anything that you hope would just get Dick away from you and just let you go.
“...” Dick hated your words with a burning passion he didn’t even know he was capable of feeling, and the breathy laugh of disbelief that escaped him only furthered his own change of heart, “So I’m not important to you? Our family isn’t important to you? Because of everything that’s happened? So our effort to change everything isn’t important to you? It matters that little to you now that you’ve lived on your own for… what, a few months?”
“What are you talking about? You’re asking me that as if you know me, and- news flash, you don’t. So get a hold of yourself- and let me go already!” You yank your wrist away from Dick’s grasp, pulling it back towards you harshly.
The moment your wrist leaves his grasp, his hand twitches, but he manages to hold himself back and just let his hand fold into a fist as it falls back to his side. His eyes pinned on you once again, never leaving you, “Why can’t I get to know you now? Why can’t that change, Y/n?” He asks, his own tone changing without him noticing, making it sharper than he meant it to be, “Why can’t you just let me in?”
The visceral hatred those words spawn in you is hotter than words can describe, and felt as if it was burning right through your chest, melting your muscles and organs down to nothing. You not only struggled to breathe, but it hurt to even take in the smallest breath. “‘Why’…? You’re asking me, ‘why’?” A small, airy, pathetic laugh escapes you, a look of disbelief clear on your face.
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because of the years that have passed? That every attempt I’ve made to do what you’re asking me right now- was ignored until I didn’t try anymore? Until I go off and try to actually live my life, that you ask for me to let you in? For things to change?” You almost spat out, barely managing to take in a steady breath, “I don’t know, Dick. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Dick could barely pull himself together. Everything was falling apart, and even if he could see that, he could barely get a grasp on his own emotions that he was failing to calm down. He wants you to understand, and he wants to understand you too, but god was everything making it so hard. He just couldn’t understand why you were being so stubborn about this, and why you wouldn’t just hear him out.
So, in the midst of his own frustration, he tsked and spoke without thinking.
“I haven’t done anything to you! Why are you acting like this?” The moment those words left Dick, his eyes widened and he scrambled to recover, “Wait, I didn’t mean-”
“Isn’t that the point?” You cut Dick off, the smoke finally escaping your lungs as you furrowed your brows, chest tightening as more unwanted tears began to build, “That you did nothing? That you- and everyone else didn’t do a goddamn thing?”
“You try to act like I owe you something. Like I owe you this. Like I owe you my time, but you know what? You really don’t, because back then? I clearly didn’t deserve yours. I wasn’t worth your time, and now, years later, you think that I owe you mine? That you can just say whatever the hell you want to my face, because I dared to try and be respectful and civil and do all of this shit for you?” There was no holding back anymore, not when Dick dared to say something like that to your face when you’ve been trying so hard to act calm and civil around him. To give him a chance to say his piece and leave.
The one time you tried to do something for them, for him, after months of being away from all of them, and he dared to say something like that to you?
“Then think again. Because unlike before, I have some god damn self respect and won’t stand for your bullshit anymore.” You spat out as the sky above growled even louder, “You don’t get to say that to me, Grayson.”
Yet, despite your words, a single measly tear manages to slip past your defenses and slowly, painstakingly roll down your cheek. The clouds above seem to have taken that as some sort of sign, as a few small drops of water fell from the sky and hit the pavement under your feet.
Dick pauses after that, if only for a moment as he looks over your expression before sighing. “Okay- fine, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that… but,” he took a short breath before saying, “that still doesn’t answer my question, Y/n.”
“...” All you could do was stare at him. Another pathetic, airy laugh escaping you all the while. He really was unbelievable.
“Which one? The one where you asked why things can’t change? Why I won’t ‘let you in’? Or why I’m ‘acting like this’?” Dick clenches his hands into fists, squeezing them before he lets go.
“Why can’t things change, why can’t the relationship between us change?” You hate the tone he used and how the look he gave you expressed and showed more than words could describe. A certain desperation in his eyes that you wish didn’t exist, that you didn’t notice.
“You never showed me that it could change. That it would always stay the same as it has for the past few years-”
“But why does back then matter? Why can’t we focus on now? On this?” He gestured between the two of you, “Can’t we just- I don’t know… move on from that?” You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh, or actually allow yourself to cry, especially when a few more raindrops fell from the sky. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Did Dick actually just say that, and to you of all people?
“Move on?” You say, a few more tears spilling despite your efforts to stop them, their touch burning your skin and sinking into it like acid, “You want me to move on from that? Move on from the years of my life that you weren’t a part of? To just forget all that’s happened?”
“You don’t have to forget… maybe just, push it aside so that we can work on this! On us…” Dick says, dragging on a little before he takes in another quick breath, “Is that so bad? Don’t you want to be family-?”
“You don’t get to say that to me.” You immediately cut him off the moment Dick even tries to mention family again, “You don’t get to say what I want or what I have to do- after everything I’ve done for you! For the others-! You don’t get to say that to me anymore!”
“Y/n, please, just calm down-”
“No! You don’t get to do this to me! To say all of this shit to my face-” You struggle to speak, your words catching in your throat and nearly choking you, but you manage to continue. To continue to say your part, and finally say the words your heart has been longing to say, to give yourself this much, to finally feel this out, “Do you even know how much I’ve done for you- all of you? How much time I spent doing all of these things I thought you guys liked just so that I had a chance to hold a conversation with any of you? To just mean something? To actually be part of the family, only for no one to show up-?”
“No one asked you to do those things! No one asked you to do anything!” Dick snaps, but immediately tries to reel it back, “I understand that things didn’t work out before, but I’m here now, aren’t I?”
Your brows furrow even more, and your teeth grind so hard that it feels like they’re chipping away, “No one had to ask! Hell- none of you ended up caring anyway! It was a waste!” You shout, voice raising the more you talked, tears mixing with the drizzling rain, “It was for you- I did everything I could think of to just talk to you, and now you want me to do more for you? After everything I’ve already done? After all the effort that was put to waste because of you?” At this rate, you knew you weren’t talking to just Dick anymore. Instead, he acted as an extension, in your mind. An extension to something bigger, something greater than himself. Something more than he was.
Dick falters, but just sighs again, “No one told you to do all of that,Y/n]. You didn’t have to do anything but just try to-”
“Try to what, Grayson? Try to what?” You cut him off, eyes swirling with untold emotion as your gaze pierces into him, “Go on, tell me what else I had to do. What I should’ve done.”
“...” Dick looks at you for a moment before speaking again with a small huff, “You could’ve tried a different approach, or maybe, talked to us?”
“...” You don’t know what you want to do more; try to strangle Dick, cry harder, or leave again after trying to kill him. “You did not just say that.” You manage to laugh out, but it’s broken and far from genuine. The humor in it long gone, and all that was left was a sickening, uncomfortable emptiness where it once remained.
“Well, I’m just saying-”
“You did not just say that shit to me when you’ve been the one shooting down every conversation I’ve tried to have with you. You- the person who’s supposed to be the ‘family man’, and we’ve barely even talked. And let me tell you now, I’m not the one who hasn’t been trying to talk or avoiding it.” A pained smile crept up your face as you laughed breathlessly in between your words once more. Not even caring anymore as you let the fire burst from your chest, and have its ashes and smoke spill out of you.
Dick narrows his eyes and furrows his brows a bit, “‘Avoiding it’? What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t been avoiding you-”
“Then please explain where the hell you’ve been all of my life until now? Why you could never follow through with what you’d always tell me? Why you come to me now, when I gave you years to do or say anything?”
“I… I was busy, okay? You know that,” He tried to lighten his tone with a chuckle but it did little to help, and only showed his own strain, “I don’t always have time to come to Gotham-”
“But you make the time to do it anyway. You make time to visit, especially when it comes to Damian.” When Dick falls silent again for a moment, you take in a shaky breath and sniffle slightly, feeling awful in every sense of the word, “I guess I just wasn’t worth it, right? I wasn’t worthy of your oh so precious time, but everyone else was. Something else was.” Your expression darkens slightly as your strained smile drops completely.
“There’s always something else, right? Something else to do, someone else to see. You could make time, alright, but just couldn’t for me.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Y/n.”
“Then please, enlighten me, what are you saying, Grayson?” Dick hates every time you say that, every time you refer to him by his last name. It feels like there's a deeper meaning to it that he refuses to see, and just hearing you call him that instead of anything else only forces him to remember that. To remind him of his own faults, both past and present.
Maybe he'd wonder how he keeps messing things up or why he keeps saying everything besides what he actually wants to say, but he's too deep in his own feelings to even think about that. Even if the answer laid within the action itself.
“Saving the city- having to look after Bludhaven and Gotham sometimes, and even the world on occasion- doesn't really give anyone a lot of time to do certain things. You know I'm not over all the time, and that I'm not always… y'know.”
“Dick Grayson?”
“Yeah! And just…” he took a breath before sighing once again, “All I'm saying is that a different approach could've been taken.” You hate how every word he said only seemed to validate concerns you had in the past. Thoughts that still liked to linger every now and then when you caught yourself still thinking about what could've been, and if certain things happened, would that really change anything?
It's funny that only now were you truly beginning to think otherwise.
“So… what?” You say in a dry voice, “Are you saying that I should’ve been just like you? Just like the others- and give up my dream, what I wanted to do- give up my passion, because at least then I would be able to talk to you? Because I would have a higher chance of even seeing you?”
“That's not what I mean, Y/n, and you know that-”
“No. No I don't. I don't know that, and honestly? I have no idea what the hell you’re even trying to tell me right now besides that I should’ve tried harder. That I didn't do enough, because clearly- spending all of my time trying to do things for you, to accommodate for the whole fucking family that couldn't even stand for me to be in their presence for even a few seconds-” You took a shaky breath, more tears spilling out and escaping you, more falling than you would've liked, “that's not enough. Wasting my life away and trying to do everything I could to the point where it put my health at risk- that wasn't enough. I should’ve just dropped everything and followed everyone else instead of trying to find an alternative, because there was no alternative, right? Is that what you're trying to say?”
For once, Dick was speechless and had nothing to say, and his silence only made you hurt more. It's like you were waiting for what felt like the inevitable.
“What else am I supposed to do, huh? What else haven't I done? Is nothing else good enough for you? Is that really the only way I could've been with you? To see you, to actually talk with you and all the others? To be part of the family? Is that what it would've taken?” You're nearly gasping for air at this rate, with every word you say only carving deeper into your heart, and getting harder to say as you struggle to voice them aloud. Nearly choking on both your words and tears, and yet you push on.
“Did I really have to give up on my passion- my dreams to have a better chance to be something to you?”
“Y/n, that's not what I mean. Doing it wouldn't have gotten in the way-”
“You know that's bullshit! You act like the line of work you do doesn't take over your life! Like you don't think about it everyday- like you aren't constantly in danger!” At this point you're shouting and you barely even realize it, tears flowing freely now as they burn into your cheeks and crash down on the pavement below, “Is it so bad that I don't want that? That I don't want to put my life at risk? That I don't want to live your life?!”
“Maybe you enjoy that. Maybe you like that chaos and constantly putting your life on the line- but some people don't! Maybe you're made for that kind of life, but I'm not! I want to live my own life without having to be even more worried about my own well-being and safety!”
“Y/n, please- calm down! I don't want to fight, I-” Dick took a quick breath, his own heart squeezing as he tries to remain stable, to remain calm. Even if it felt like he was watching his whole world crumble before him, each tear you shed stabbing into him, and every word that spilled out just twisted the knives as they dug deeper into his chest and body. “I understand what you mean, but you have to realize-”
“Realize what? That everything I did was for nothing?” Thinking it was one thing, but saying it out loud was another. The words weighed heavy on your tongue, and the more you tried to say them the more choked up you became. “That all of my effort was in vain, and I should’ve given up while I was ahead? Because that's the impression I'm getting right now-”
“That's not what I meant, Y/n. I… I didn't mean it like that.”
“But how else could you have possibly meant it? How else am I supposed to interpret that?” You laughed again, but it was just as sad and pathetic as the last, “You can't expect me to just know these things, Grayson, especially considering everything and just-” You felt like you were going to tear your hair out, like you were going to collapse and truly break. Yet you managed to stand, and speak again no matter how weak your voice is.
“You were never there for me, none of you were.” Your hands are shaking and your face burns, voice cracking in every way possible, and you hate this feeling. Yet above all else, you hate how he made you feel like this, “I could show up at the manor, bloodied and bruised, and no one- no one would notice or bat an eye. I could be wearing a cast and have crutches, and yet not a single person besides Alfred would see it or comment on it. I could be at the hospital and no one would show up, not one of you-”
“Wait… what-?” Dick tried to speak, but you wouldn’t let him, you couldn’t.
“You were never there when I needed you. You never checked up on me, you barely even noticed me-” again, you suck in another breath, barely able to take it in, “do you know what I’ve had to deal with on my own? How much it cost me? How much it hurt me-?”
“Wait, wait- hold on! You’ve been hurt?” Dick managed to cut you off, “I… I never heard about this.”
“Of course you haven't!” You couldn't help but laugh, more tears spilling and leaving scars on your face with how badly they burned into your skin, “You hardly even noticed, how can you expect to hear about it?”
“You didn't tell me- you didn't tell anyone! How- how am I supposed to know about these things when you won't even tell anyone? When you won't tell me?” Dick can feel himself begin to tear up, but he keeps it all down. He was frustrated, and even if it wasn't directed towards you, he couldn't keep his big mouth shut. Even if by the looks of things - you couldn't either, even if that was for a different reason.
Maybe you both were one in the same, but different in some ways. Dick would feel stupid if he noticed it, but of course he couldn't — not at the moment. Not with how things are going.
If only he noticed that sooner. If only he had done a lot of things sooner – then both of you wouldn't be in this position. You wouldn't be in this position.
Yet, he couldn't help himself. Both of you couldn't, in a way.
“I can't read your mind, Y/n! I'm not even at the manor half the time- how am I supposed to notice? You can't just expect me to suddenly know-”
“But you visit enough for the others? For any one of them you'd come rushing over, especially if it was for Damian-”
“At least he tells me when he gets hurt!”
“Are we talking about the same kid right now? God, and here I thought that he was your favorite.”
“‘Favorite’?” Dick chuckled out humorlessly, feeling something in him break at your words. “I don't have any favorites-”
“That is such bullshit, Grayson, and you fucking know that.” You couldn't help but sneer, everything you tried to keep inside finally rearing its ugly head as the lid you tried to put on your emotions flew off, leaving you feeling nothing but unapologetic rage. “You play favorites all the time, but I wouldn't know that, would I? I'm probably your least-”
“Don't say that. You're not. You never were.”
“Right! Yeah, you're right. After all, I'm not even on the list, am I? How can I be the least when you barely even acknowledge me-?”
“I didn't-” Dick just cuts himself off, sighing before he continues, not being able to stop the scoff that slips past, “I didn't mean it like that. You're important to me, Y/n, how many times do I have to say that? It's like you're trying to put words in my mouth at this rate.”
“Well, excuse me for not believing you considering that, oh, I don't know, I've been ignored by you for years? That-”
“‘Ignored’? I haven’t been ignoring you, no one has-”
“Really? Are you really trying to say that now-?”
“I understand that you're frustrated, okay? That you have all the reason to be mad- but no one has ignored you. I haven't ignored you-”
“BULLSHIT! That is bull-SHIT!” You scream before you even notice the words had left your mouth in the first place, “You would have said that before it that was the case! And even then- how the hell do you explain this entire shit show? How do you even dare to try and explain where the fuck ANY of you have been?! Because people can only be so ignorant and stupid until others begin to think it's intentional and you're doing it on god-damn purpose-!” Broken, harsh chuckles escape you - slipping in between your piercing words, ones so rough and dry that it scratches your throat just to let them out. The disbelief was heavy in each and every one of them, utterly devoid of any humor, and yet they were so unbelievably empty simultaneously.
You could feel your heart breaking even more, but you weren't the only one. Not that it mattered, as with each piece that was chipped off, you could only register the little sounds of you coming apart. Everything else was muffled, and almost completely blocked out. With your only focus being on him, on them.
“Just because something looks a certain way, doesn't mean that it's really like that. I told you, it isn't that easy. Like I said before- I haven't been avoiding you, let alone ignoring you! I wasn't trying to do anything like that-”
“It doesn't matter what you tried! What you're trying to do! Don't you see? What matters is what it felt like to me-”
“But you won’t let me change that! You won't let me try and change things- it’s like you want it to remain the same-!”
“YOU DON'T GET TO SAY WHAT I WANT! NOT AFTER THIS- NOT AFTER EVERYTHING! You don’t get to say shit like that- you don't know me! You don't know what I've been through-! So stop talking like you understand me!”
“But you won't let me in! You won't give me the chance to understand! How can I expect to know anything when you're giving me nothing to work with?!”
“How about you take a fucking hint, Grayson. Can't you read the room?! You're a cop for crying out loud! And was trained by the best detective the world has to offer- so it's not my fault you're acting like you're stupid!”
“You're not another case, Y/n! You're family, you’re my sibling! Not something that needs to be solved! Is it really so hard to just tell me anything and not push me away when I'm right here?!”
Your words catch in your throat momentarily, but you try to push past that and force something out, not caring if it was made of broken glass or venom. Yet, just as you go to speak, and the first letter escapes your lips – Dick finally breaks too.
“SHUT UP! Just Shut. Up. And ACTUALLY listen to me for one second! Please! For the love of-” Dick can't help but scoff, running a hand down his face, and covering his mouth with it. Looking away as he does so, brows furrowing.
He wants to say something, think of anything that he wants you to hear and understand clearly - but nothing comes to mind. Nothing you'd truly hear him out on, anyway. Nothing he's already mentioned to you. Nothing that would make this better. Even as he goes to try and say something, all that comes out is a mess of half finished words that he can't make comprehensible, especially not in a way that'll have you listen to him where you won't try to bite at him again.
So, he falls silent. You both do.
Your eyes widening at the sudden shout, before your gaze hardens and you glare at Dick through your tears and agony. His silence makes you angrier, but his loud response does shut you up momentarily.
“Well– fine, if you want me to be quiet so badly, then I'm leaving.” You manage to say after a moment, voice wavering and becoming weaker — now spent thanks to how you've been using it up until this point.
Still, your words immediately snap Dick out of whatever trance he was in, and cause his head to snap back in your direction, with his eyes locking onto you once again – though they widen a little before he tries to calm down, and take in one last breath. He scrambles to say anything, especially as he sees you turn to leave, and see your words through.
“W-wait, hold on, I-” he presses his lips into a thin line, thinking briefly before continuing, “Can I at least walk you home? It isn't safe-”
You pause in your movements, “No. Just-” you don't look back, you can't bring yourself to, but you do just barely glance over your shoulder – though not enough to actually see him again. Dick can't see your eyes anymore, but he can still see the tears streaming down your face. “Just leave me alone. All of you.”
Dick tries to reach out, to stop you one last time – but he hesitates, and just lets his hand fall back to his side. Instead, opting to watch you leave while he stands there, left hurt and alone. His eyes eventually find and land on the coffee you had left behind on the bench, and he finds himself staring at that once you're out of sight.
He has to hold back from running after you, and following - if only to just make sure that you'd reach your apartment in one piece - but he manages. It's the least he could do, after all, and besides, he doubts he'd be able to do that without making you hate him even more. He's gathered as much from all of this, and really - from the looks of things, he had a lot more to consider than he had originally thought. All of them did.
… It's only as you walk away and the distance between you and Dick grows bigger, with both of your words beginning to settle - that you both notice the clouds once light cries have turned into ugly sobs, with each tear being shed heavier than the last, thunder roaring and echoing in the distance, lightning striking the earth with a deafening clap. It was only then that both of you even noticed that the light drizzle from before had turned into pouring rain, and that there was more than just the two of you in the world. Something that felt heavier than it should’ve, but felt appropriate at the same time.
Regardless, you continue to walk away, and once again, never look back as you commit to your decision no matter what may happen afterwards, or the consequences that may follow. Just like that one day back in the manor, you move on and go on with your choice, just knowing what you want in that moment and seeing no reason to deny yourself — especially when you want the same thing you wanted that night, when you just want to get away. You don’t know what happened tonight, but all you knew is that you didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, so you just left, and maybe you would’ve felt a little grateful that Dick let you go if you had noticed to begin with – since your mind was more focused on just putting as much distance between you and him as possible.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and it’s only then that you remember that you still had it on you – not that you knew why you’d leave it anywhere or forget it, but it’s something you noticed nonetheless. You fish it out of your pocket as you walk, and wipe some of your tears away with the back of your hand, sniffling lightly as you check the notification. Jessica had left you a voicemail – several, actually. You couldn’t imagine why, but you didn’t try very hard to think of a reason, and instead just opened your phone to listen to it.
[“Hey, hun’, it’s been a while, you okay? If you don’t call in the next twelve hours or so then I’m calling the police- even if most of them are useless as hell, I know more of them will look, since they know who you are and all that. But I swear if that asshole did anything to you then he’s got another thing coming, and I know you don’t like to fight, but please, for the love of god, just sucker punch that creep in the face if you have to. He looks like he could use one, and an extra hard one at that.” She takes a moment to sigh, clearly frustrated - which her tone made very clear - but you could sense a little worry, “But, seriously. Just get back to me when you can, and you better be safe, alright? Listen to my other voice message if you haven’t already, talk to you soon, bye.”]
Just hearing Jessica’s voice made you feel a bit better, and some of what she said got a little laugh out of you. She always tried to look after you, and with what just happened – you couldn’t be more grateful for it.
So, you did as told, and listened to the other voice message she had left you, curious as to what she had wanted you to know about.
[“Hey, it’s Jess, darlin’. I hope you’re not still with that guy, but if you are then just remember what I told you, okay? Well, anyway, Cece came by, and is waiting for you in the diner, and barely awake at that. So just come by and pick them up, since- well, I’d send ‘em home on their own but honestly I doubt they’d be able to make it there themselves. I’m a little surprised they were even able to reach this place- but you get the jist. Come by, but if you’re still with that guy? I can wait, just hurry up because a girl’s gotta get her beauty sleep. See you, bye.”]
… Oh, well, guess you had to make a stop on your way home, then. You wanted nothing more than to curl up in your bed and just sleep, but it’s not like the walk to the diner was long anyway, and besides, it was on the way back to your apartment, so you couldn’t really complain.
With that, you made a turn and headed towards the diner. Still processing and taking in everything as you do so — but when you feel more tears begin to well up, you push it to the side, and tell yourself that you’ll handle it later. No matter how short or long that interaction was, it drained you, and you desperately needed rest. Maybe it wasn’t the most healthy decision to make, but you couldn’t handle doing anything else right now, so it’d have to wait. Besides, with how tonight went, you definitely didn’t want to think about Dick and the others at the moment – they didn’t deserve it, anyway.
Thankfully, you reached the diner in no time, and it’s only when Jessica stops you at the door do you even realize that your soaked… which makes sense but you feel a little embarrassed when she points it out nonetheless, and says how she loves you but doesn’t want to have to clean the floor again when her shift has been over for about a half hour. Cece was sitting at the counter, and perks up when you enter, giving a sleepy smile before standing up and making their way over to you. Both of you thank Jessica as you take your leave – but not before you wish her a good night and say your usual goodbyes, even if she does make a point about how you and her will talk later. Hell, she even sneaks in how you almost looked like her after her breakup with Michael which… ouch, you can only imagine how awful you really look if that was the case – but it also only fully confirmed that you were talking to her about what happened no matter what.
Still, you were grateful that she left it at that, and didn’t pry anymore as she finally let you and Cece go home. The walk to the apartment – or, rather, the short run there – since you and Cece ended up sharing their jacket as cover from the rain, and they had a funny idea as you both held it over your heads, and… well, one thing led to another – and it's safe to say it turned out to be rather eventful. Ending with you and Cece laughing in front of your apartment building once you reached it, huddled in front of the small entrance – Cece ending up being partially soaked despite their best efforts, and of course, you’re beyond drenched.
Once you reach your shared home, Cece, despite barely being awake, basically shoves you into the shower once you're both a little more settled, and you just do as told – more than a little tired yourself in numerous ways, and definitely not in the mood to argue. When you’re clean and in a new set of clothes, you and Cece talk a little. They try to ask why you had been out, but you just say you ran into someone – though it wasn’t anyone important, and that it wasn’t something to worry about — with them just accepting that answer, much to your relief.
The rest of the evening becomes a bit of a blur after that, with you and Cece just talking some more here and there, sharing a few laughs that really helped brighten your mood and made you forget all about what had happened. The pain becomes dull, and that bright fire in your chest finally dies out - leaving behind a warmth that wasn’t burning or suffocating, but instead comforting and painless. One you welcomed graciously and with open arms as you felt yourself relax more and more.
Eventually, Cece turned in for the night, and as they headed back into their room, you did one last check of the apartment — making sure all the windows were not only locked, but that the curtains were closed. Going as far as to check the front door a few times just to make sure that it was really locked. Even if none of what you did would really stop any of them from getting in - it put your mind at ease a little, and really, that’s all you could hope for.
With that, you finally settled into bed, and fell asleep faster than you had in years.
For once, you hoped you’d never wake up as your worries and fears felt so far away, and reality was out of reach – even if it laid just beyond your closed eyelids. As much as you hoped for a better morning, more than anything, you hoped that you’d just sleep the week away if you could help it. God knows you needed the rest, or at least it felt like you did.
—----------
Dick had no such luxury.
The night became a blur after you had left, and he barely remembers even meeting up with the rest of the family once everything was said and done. He couldn’t tell how long he had been standing in that park all by himself, thinking of everything you had told him and looking at the little pieces of your existence that still remained behind.
All he knows is one thing led to another, and now he’s here – sitting on top of a roof with everyone else both simultaneously chastising him and trying to discuss what they should do now. Though Dick couldn’t bring himself to pay attention, since the events that had unfolded moments prior replayed in his mind like a broken record, torturing him slowly as his brain reminded him of all of the mistakes he’s made tonight. He can’t understand why he said half of what he did, especially because he didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean to blow up like he did – especially in front of you, and when you were clearly hurting and frustrated on top of that. The only thing Dick wanted to do in that moment was stop both of you from arguing, and it seems that his mouth ran off to do just that before he could think of a better way to do it. Now leaving him like this, and things worse off than they were before.
Point is, Dick felt like shit, and he knew he deserved it. Though the rest of the family definitely weren’t helping him out in that regard.
“How the hell did you even fuck this up, Dick?” Jason asks, his tone so heated it sounds like it could’ve come from the depths of hell itself – and all just to burn his older brother.
“I knew I should’ve gone instead, this would’ve never happened-” Tim can’t help but mumble to himself, arms crossed as he sighs, frustrated – but not completely at Dick. If there was a moment for him to really believe he should’ve kept your address and apartment number to himself, it was definitely now.
“Wait- so… what do we do now?” Stephanie asks, concerned over what happened, and that Dick hasn’t really said anything about it to them – even if all of them can tell it went poorly.
Damian just sighs, his arms crossed as well as he looks at Dick before looking to the others, “Take matters into our own hands, obviously.”
“While I agree that something should be done, is it really a good idea to act now?” Barbara pitches in, not entirely sure of what Damian was talking about, but not liking the implications of it all the same. Something about it just didn’t feel right to her, nor did the look he gave her.
“Of course. Now that they’re presumably heading to their apartment, we can just-” before Damian can finish what he was going to say, Cassandra covers his mouth, cutting him off swiftly which annoys the little Robin enough to shove her hand away and give her a scrutinizing look, “what?”
Cassandra just shakes her head, and instead begins to sign something, basically saying how they don’t know if you're even at your apartment, and by the time they find out where you actually are, it’ll probably be morning. Even mentioning how since you know that they know where you live, you probably wouldn’t even be there anymore. Which just causes Damian to huff in response. She had a point, and he knew it, but he wasn’t going to admit it out loud.
Still, despite that Jason spoke up again, “Actually, I agree with the little twerp. Now’s a good a time as any to get them home.”
“... You can't be serious, right?” Barbara asks, now getting a little concerned over what Jason meant as well, and the half-shrug he gave did little to reassure her or calm her nerves that were slowly beginning to rise.
“Why not? They’re still out there doing god knows what- who knows where in the dead of night,” he points out, giving Barbara a little glance, “it anything, I just see more of a reason to get them before anything else happens.”
“Jason, do you even hear yourself right now.”
“What? Is it a crime to be worried for my god damn family now?”
“Jason.” Bruce’s voice pierces through the air, cutting through the tension before anyone else can speak up or give their two cents. Almost as if just his voice alone was enough of a barrier between those who wanted to get you home, those that didn’t, and the few who didn’t know where they stood at the moment.
Regardless, it’s enough for Jason to stand down, if only temporarily as Bruce turns to Dick – who’s still out of it, and staring at the ground just before his feet.
“Dick,” Bruce calls out, which only gets him a subtle glance, with Dick not even bothering to pick up his head – or maybe he just couldn’t, no one could tell except for the one person among them who was much too fluent in body language. “What do you think?” He asks simply, narrowing his eyes a little when his eldest son grows quieter somehow.
Dick fidgets with the coffee cup in his hands, its warmth long gone, and yet he still runs a finger or two along the side as if it was still there. He doesn’t know why he grabbed it, but now he almost couldn’t find it in himself to let it go. It was yours, after all, if only for a brief moment – and even if all it did was serve as a reminder of his faults, it reminded him of you, and right now? That’s all he could ask for. Dick can’t explain it, but it’s like by holding the cup and having it with him, he had a small part of you with him. Since, sure, while you had left it during your… ‘dispute’ with him, it had come from a place you liked and he could only assume that it was just how you liked your coffee. It was silly, but holding it made him feel close to you, and that’s all he wanted at the moment. To be close.
… It takes him a beat or two before he responds, and even then he seems unsure of himself – but remembering what had transpired minutes ago is enough to set his mind straight.
“I think… we should give them some time, and… a bit of space too for a while.” Dick manages to say hesitantly, tapping the cup lightly as he still holds onto it.
That seemed to quiet everyone down for a moment, until Stephanie eventually asks the question on everyone’s mind.
“Just how badly did things go, Dick?”
He couldn’t answer that, he didn’t want to, so he remained silent. However, Cassandra could tell, and found herself just as divided as she felt the moment she first saw him. She didn’t know what she wanted to do more – throw Dick off the roof, or go looking for you herself. Maybe she’d try to do both if Bruce wasn’t right there.
“So, what? Do they hate us now or something?” Jason says sarcastically, but with how Dick tenses a little his tone turns harsher, “... You can’t be serious.”
“Dick- please tell me you didn’t screw things up that badly. Please tell me that you didn’t make things worse!” Tim almost begs, desperate to be wrong and hoping that his eldest brother hadn’t made things worse – that there was still a small chance.
Sure, they didn’t expect things to go great, but none of them really believed that they would go so horribly!
“Look, just-” Dick takes a short breath, looking at the cup in his hands in quiet defeat before glancing away, “I think we should give them some time to themself is all.”
Jason can only scoff as he crosses his arms, “I knew I should’ve gone instead, they would’ve been home right now.”
“I believe me and father would’ve handled the situation much better,” Damian states, as if it would lead to the only positive outcome should he and Bruce had gone instead.
“I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut and just gone over by myself- stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Tim curses under his breath, looking away as he continues to mumble to himself – expression growing increasingly darker and the air around him shifting into… something indescribable.
Cassandra seemed just about ready to rip something apart, and Stephanie was getting nervous from how the others seemed to be reacting, only able to stutter out a small, “G- guys? Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this right now-”
“I agree…” Barbara chips in, her own concerns only growing as she looks at the family, but tries to help Stephanie out nonetheless, “What’s done is done, and we should be trying to figure out what to do from here on out.”
Damian scoffs, “Right, like that will be easy with brother being silent about everything.” Dick could only look away in response, taking a small sip of the coffee in his hands, finding a little bit of comfort in its taste. It was cold, and wasn’t how he usually got his done – but it’s how you liked it, and that was enough from him to like it too.
A small argument seemed to spawn from that alone, with some now going back and forth yet again on what to do – Cassandra, Jason, and Damian pretty adamant about wanting to bring you home, with Barbara, Stephanie, and Dick more keen on waiting and giving you space — even if Dick was definitely more quiet about his stance, still thinking about… whatever was on his mind. Tim didn’t seem to engage much in the arguing either, and instead seemed to be dealing with his own thing as he kept mumbling to himself, leaving Bruce to be stuck listening to all of the nonsense until he finally got fed up with it.
“Quiet down, all of you.” He states firmly, voice cold and harsh as he shuts everyone up without even moving an inch. His eyes seemed to judge all of them as he looked at everything before sighing, and making the decision for everyone.
“We’ll give them time, and stand down for now.” He says, his tone alone indicating that there would be no arguing on this. What he said was final, and everyone would be smart to follow along with it, no matter where they stood. Still, he turned to look down at the city, and caught the faintest glimpse of your apartment building in the not-so-far distance. “but if anything happens, then we’ll act accordingly.”
#yandere batfam#platonic yandere batfam#gn reader#yandere dc#platonic yandere#yandere x gn reader#yandere batfam x reader#yandere dc x reader#yandere dick grayson#yandere dick grayson x gn reader#it's finally here in full!#total wc is around 37.5k words#so the 1st part is around 16.5K~ words#and this part is around 20K-21k~ words respectfully#ngl i lost a bit more of my sanity writing this chapter#i was so naive when i called chapter 2 my longest post...#not series
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later than usual but here they are! it's meme time baby!
ps i hope u have a great break 😘
it's meme time baby!!! 🙌🎊🎉❤️
for chapter 10 of cetbwa, thank you so much!!!
#danny phantom#danny phantom crossover#danny phantom dc#dp x dc#batman#cetbwa#close enough to be whole again#it's meme time baby!!!#thank you so much oh wait i've gotta tag you lmoa#tellmeabtspinos#i did it!! it only took me like 10 tags to remember we're getting better!!#speaking of - i hope you're feeling better today! sucks that you have to go to work feeling sic#k that's the worst :(#but the fact that you spent time making memes for cetbwa even though you're feeling so rotten 🥺🥰 my heart is about to burst#tysm you're so sweet ily#ALSO THESE ARE SO FUNNY!!!!#1) batman is absolutely deranged - jason would have a field day with that comment and you just know bruce can't exactly argue lmao#TIM JUST GIVES OF KIDNAPPABLE VIBES I'M NOT SORRY ABOUT IT - out of everyone Danny's met so far there's no one else that embodies it quite#like Tim haha#Danny's going to look around the batfam and be like 'yeah this all tracks' when he finds out there secret identities and then like#gets to Tim and just thinks... huh. did not see that coming#... did you like my 'did it?' ????? i did i liked it - danny's so desperate to recapture what they had when they were kids#because to him their relationship was warmth and love and safety against the harsh realities of the league and that's something that he#needs right now - but they're so different! they've grown up! yes they've had similar experiences but they're different people now#they reacted differently (and neither of them are in the wrong about it either - danny knows this) but it's just another wedge between them#it's not a wedge between them that's wrong - it's a painful reminder that danny can't ever have that feeling of safety again and he#really doesn't want to feel that right now#i liked that bit so i hope that came across idk#anyway thank you so much for the memes#i am making you some chicken soup for when you get home from work and after that i'll tuck you into bed all toasty and warm
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In case you were wondering how deep down the Batfam fixation hole I am, it's something I've actually been talking about in therapy a lot.
Not like, in a worried way, more just when my therapist asks me what I'm doing in my downtime, my answer always used to be either "sleeping" or "I don't have downtime. I have too much work to do."
Now my answer is "playing my Batman game" or "watching Batman show/reading comics/writing unhinged Batman x Muppet fanfic."
And my therapist is delighted. She's fucking ecstatic. She's like, "You have interests again!" and I'm like !!!! Because here's the thing.
Almost dying in 2019 kinda irrevocably fucked up my brain, like, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I've been grieving over that for the last few years as well as recovering from the physical aspects of it. And to cope with it, I threw myself into work even though I wasn't physically or mentally well enough, and that made everything worse, and well, if you've been here, you know.
My brain has not been kind to me for a long time. It still isn't. But I do the work. I do multiple types of therapy a week. I piece myself back together on the daily and try to remember what it means to be human and not just this numb static void that sometimes sounds like shrieking if you listen too closely.
And then randomly, a few months ago a friend bought me Gotham Knights on Steam, and it was like a light turned back on. The engine that'd been refusing to turn over for years suddenly sputtered back to life, and something in my brain went, "Hey, I remember this... this is fun?"
And then I started tentatively searching the tags here on Tumblr, and yeah, actually. I remember this. I remember enjoying this. I can dip my toes into this. This is safe. This is a childhood interest from Before the almost-dying-trauma. And besides, it won't get in the way of my work. This isn't going to consume me. Nothing consumes me like it used to. I'm too broken for that.
Except, haha, jokes on me because, for some fucking reason, Brucie fucking Wayne and his gaggle of chaotic crime-fighting children is what reached into my brain, picked up my trauma, and started shaking it loose like a category 7 earthquake.
I actually laughed about that with my therapist a few weeks ago. Of all characters, of all pieces of media, it's Batman that's helping me process a significant chunk of my emotional trauma in a healthy way.
The most emotionally constipated vigilante in superhero existence, and I'm weeping like a child every time I get an achievement in Gotham Knights, and it says some bullshit like this:
ID: a purple steam achievement icon that says: He'd Be So Proud Of You. Reach the maximum level as any member of the Batman Family. 6.3% of players have this achievement. /end ID.
(for context, Batman is dead in this game, and you are playing as his emotionally devastated children trying to keep it together. Wailing, gnashing, crying, throwing up etc, etc.)
And my therapist, who has sat with me through EMDR sessions and a multitude of other shit designed to rewire your brain, just shrugs and says, "Sometimes we need to externalize our emotions through safe media. For you, right now, that safety is Batman having a relationship with the Muppets."
And like... okay, yeah. I'll take the win on that one.
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pairing: batman aka bruce wayne x f!reader
summary: you move into wayne manor, but not everything is as it seems. pt.2
warnings: smut, some non-con/dub-con but not really, doggystyle!, creampies ♡, mentioned babytrapper!bruce but nothing happens (or does it 🫣?), some anal play but also not really, unprotected sex, descriptions of male and female genitalia, bruce is not the best father unfortunately, age gaps, uses of the word(s) 'baby' and 'daddy' like once or twice, non-consensual recording?, reader is described as dating girls in the past.
a/n: i guess this is a small continuation. i'll still be tagging as yandere due to some slightly darker undertones kinda. i'm not sure how i feel about this one but oh well :).
bruce never believed that he was a good man.
he could care less for all the praise he received throughout the years. fundraisers and charities, his image as a loving adoptive dad who took in struggling and orphaned children, or as batman. deep down, he knew he was selfish.
everything he did, he took too far. whether it was to fulfill a pipedream he realistically knew would never come true at the expense of others. or even with love, using the people he cared for the most just so he could gain something out of it. he considered himself lucky that all the little vigilantes he collected over the years stayed. and he was even happier you decided to stay as well.
bruce knew fear like the back of his hand. he could easily recognize it in your eyes whenever your eyes met his. whether it was subconscious or not, something in you knew that you should be cautious around him, and for good reason.
he couldn't quite pinpoint when his infatuation with you started. the only thing he knew was that it had crept up on him slowly, and it had been far too late until he realized its claws were sunk deep and he wanted you wrapped around his finger.
his mind would drift off sometimes, wondering if it's because of how closely he's been able to keep tabs on you over the past couple of years. you were strong and independent, more than able to take care of yourself, and others if given the opportunity. he admired that you were bold and selfless, driven. and he wanted to control that.
he stood by on the sidelines for far too long, watching you be strung along like an afterthought. he hated seeing your pathetic dates that always turned out horribly, pitiful men who only wanted one thing from you and girls that led you on because they were 'experimenting'. he hated the sad puppy look in your eyes whenever you hung around dick, before he invited you into his family, even if it was unintentional.
whether you believed it or not, bruce truly wanted what he thought was best for you. and if that meant keeping you under his surveillance, where you were at arms length 24/7, then so be it.
bruce wanted to train you how to be obedient for him. you were already establishing your own place in his household, practically marking your territory there, and he enjoyed every bit of it. for the most part, at least. there were still some challenges he needed to overcome, but you'd always been a good girl for him. that much he knew.
you tried to be grateful for him as much as possible.
even after his creepy behavior and even weirder training, you wanted to trust him. it felt wrong not to. everyone had been kind and did more for you than anyone else in your life had, and bruce set the foundation for all of it. you'd finally got a taste of being part of his family like you always wanted, and you weren't willing to let it go just because of eccentric assumptions and silly feelings.
you did find all of it a bit extreme, though. the excessive amount of gifts, the kids were attentive as ever, and alfred practically babied you. but it was normal. completely normal. at least that's what you chalked it up to, living under the roof of a well renowned billionaire, and you weren't about to complain about it either.
being around all the other wards put you at ease. regardless if you truly saw them as found family or not, you considered them your best friends. whether it was helping alfred around the manor as much as possible, burning pastries in the kitchen with the girls, playing video games with jason (which grew to be one of your favorite pastimes), you found yourself letting your guard down. like you could finally breathe and be safe in your own home, which was basically never while you were still surviving on your own back in gotham.
speaking of jason, you think maybe you are beginning to like the boy. sure, he had always been attractive, but you never actually got to interact with him longer than a short conversation here and there before dick decided to butt in. he had always been protective of you like that. you figured whatever you felt for jason might've been weird at first, but considering tim and stephanie dated for a little while, and they were still here, that it was okay.
you tried to subtly spend more time around jason. sitting close by during dinner or while catching a flick, offering to be by his side during patrol. maybe you were a bit more obvious than you would've liked, but jason took it well, much to bruce's disdain. the boy started to talk to you more often, more lively around you than ever, staring at you from across the room, making physical contact. and you greedily accepted it.
and of course dick would be the first to pester at you about it. he'd snuck up from behind, startling you when you were too engrossed in a romance book that you'd discovered while exploring the ginormous library.
"so you and jason are a thing now?"
the sound of his sudden voice makes your body jolt, damn near dropping the precious book you were reading that probably cost more than your entire life. the only people in this world that could make you flustered the way you are now are all living underneath the same goddamn roof, and you've successfully trapped yourself in it, willingly.
"what're you talking about?" the blank look on dick's face makes you cringe. in all your years of friendship, the two of you never really fought. the thought that he'd be mad about you being with jason was almost enough to make your heart sink. but the truth was, you weren't really actually with him anyway. things were just.. different.
all of his rigorous training with bruce had apparently worked off, because almost right on cue, dick notices how anxious you are right now. he shifts his body language to a more lighthearted demeanor, no longer as stiff. his voice is soft. "listen, i don't care, kind of, but.. just be careful." the way he says it almost makes you feel better, like he cares, and of course he does, but—
"what's that supposed to mean?"
your defensiveness is no surprise to dick. the look on his face let's you know he expects it, and you almost hate yourself for being so predictable.
"i don't want you to get hurt, that's all i'm saying." he tries to reassure, but it does nothing but the opposite. hurt you? you never expected much to come out of your tiny fondness for jason, and even if it did, you knew better than to think it'd be something that'll last forever. "I won't get hurt."
you say it like it's a sure thing. there's this unreadable look in dick's eyes. something that you don't think you've ever seen before, and it almost scares you. like he knows something you don't, but you can't tell what the hell it is. he curtly nods, forcing back that charming smile to his face, but you're no idiot, especially when it comes to him.
"i don't doubt it." and with that, he's gone.
☆☆☆☆☆
it's been a couple of days since your little talk with dick. well, more of a warning than anything, so that's what you take it as. you started being more mindful, not just around jason but everyone. more observant and aware of how you interacted with them. and after a while, you deduced that whatever dick was thinking is just part of his overprotective nature, both as a brother and as a friend. that he'd grow accustomed to you and jason just like everyone else was.
that was up until you noticed your possessions were starting to go missing. it started with just panties, then a bra or two, eventually your sweaters or jewelry. at first, you thought you were going crazy, just misplacing and losing things, but it was happening way too often. bruce spoiled you enough so that everything was replaceable, but still. was dick right?
was jason some sort of pervert or stalker?
well, you think all of them had the stalking part down, getting it from bruce, but you aren't completely oblivious to the fact that jason harbored reciprocated feelings for you. but to go as far as stealing your stuff? even dirty panties? there's no way. it couldn't be. if it was true, you were daring enough to confront him about it. you'd just have to wait for the right time to do it, but that proved more than difficult. there seemed to never be a perfect moment.
bruce had been more rough than before during sparring. and honestly, you didn't mind. at first, it scared you. but with the emotional turmoil you were suddenly experiencing, you almost liked it. those damn hands in your hair, a tight headlock cause his bicep was wrapped around your neck, a muscular thigh between your legs. it felt better than you would ever admit, and you found yourself almost looking forward to it. it was just because you needed some stress relief, right?
bruce intimidated you more than anyone you've ever met, but that didn't stop you from checking him out occasionally. the older man was more than attractive, and no one could deny that, not even you, regardless if you thought he was a bit peculiar.
if you hadn't been so enamored in your thoughts, trying to convince yourself that you weren't just another perv, maybe you would've felt bruce's growing hard-on accidentally poke your ass. or that he's held you in this same position for too long, admiring how you looked bent over for him like this and wanting nothing more but to make you take him right then and there. but he was upset with you.
you were getting too close to jason. on a fatherly note, he knows he should be happy. jason always had trouble around others, and he was probably just another reason for you to stay. but a larger part of him wanted to spank your ass over his knee, gag your tiny mouth on his cock in front of everyone so they knew who you belonged to.
he has to be more careful. he'd barely gotten ahold of you, and if he pushed too much, he'd run the risk of you trying to escape. but he couldn't bear to just stand by and watch while you and jason tried to pursue a relationship. no.. that couldn't happen. jason would have a knife at his throat if he caught bruce just now, that he'd hate him even more if he found out that the girl he was crushing on was being lusted on by his father figure.
but bruce could live with that.
that's why he doesn't say anything when he gently bounces the leg that's slotted between your thighs, your clit grazing against him through the thin fabric of your workout shorts. he only gauges your reaction to it, waiting, expecting you to fight back but you don't. the movement was soft enough for you not to notice it at first, but when the rubbing gets repetitive and you finally realize just how long you've been in such a comprising position for him, a flood of both excitement and anxiety goes straight to your core.
it almost feels like a betrayal to jason, even if you owed him nothing. you couldn't even remember the last time you hooked up with somebody, and it was actually good. you'd been stuck with making yourself cum, and that got old very quickly. on one hand, doing this with bruce could potentially ruin your relationship with his other wards if you were caught, and on the other hand, you were horny enough to not be thinking straight. even if bruce was a weird fuck that you didn't trust fully.
you manage to let out strained whimpers, hoping to appeal to bruce so he'd let you go. the arch of your back had become strenuous, but even then, you found yourself yearning for more. if this is what he wanted, you couldn't bring yourself to stop him. your hips move on their own accord, rutting and pressing the plush lips of your cunt along the thick muscle, face contorting slightly in pleasure whenever your sensitive bud received the attention it craved so much.
he allowed you to hump his leg like an animal in heat, his hips jutting out forward and now fully pressing a heavy cock against your ass, the clothed tip resting by the lower half of your back. whether you fully wanted this or not, it didn't really matter to bruce. the arm that was wrapped around your neck moves down, then squeezing a handful of one of your tits, appreciating its weight and how squishy it was in his grasp.
the differences in sizes made your body appear tinier than it really was, and bruce thought that was cute too. his other free hand wrapping around your body so he could feel both of your pillowy breasts in his hands, his groping making you squirm. even if you encouraged this more than you probably should've, you wonder if this is moving way too fast. he's your best friends dad for christ sake. jason's dad. (as much as he liked to deny it). and you were already living in his mansion.
all while these thoughts swirl through your head, bruce is slipping his hands beneath your shirt and moving the cups of your bra out the way, twisting and pinching at your pert nipples. his teeth find your neck, biting, a tongue licking the sensitive skin. you felt helpless to how quick and overwhelming all of it is. it doesn't take long for it to feel like his presence and touch is suffocating you, and bruce is even more greedy than you are.
"can i touch you baby?" the grufness of his voice sends chills down your spine.
you don't know why he even asks. you stupidly nod your head in agreement, even though rough pads of his fingers are already eagerly shoving themselves into your shorts and cupping your tiny pussy through cotton panties. he hums in content, noting the warmth of it and the gentle rhythmic pulses. your heart races, resisting the urge to hump his hand just like you were on his thigh.
much to your disappointment, he slips his hand out of your shorts, whining at the loss of contact. that is up until your bottoms are being pushed down your legs, and suddenly, you're conscious of how anyone could walk in on the two of you. and you still can't bring yourself to protest.
bruce bends you over once more, your face down and ass up for him. his cock aches in its confines, throbbing and begging to be released, but he holds it off. he stares at your exposed cunt, making you feel subconscious for a bit. your lips are soft and glistening, tiny clit shyly hiding beneath the hood. his thumbs spread your cheeks a bit, your slick holes on display for him.
your arousal drips down, dripping a bit onto the sparring mat in the process. your openings wink at him a bit with small flutters, and bruce leans down slightly, using his own spit to lube up your asshole and rim it with his thumb, even if he wasn't going to use it yet.
your body jolts, yelping a bit in surprise. no one had ever touched you there, and you certainly weren't expecting it just now. your hands move to try and cover yourself. "wait— i've never—"
bruce interrupts you with low shushes, kneading the soft flesh of your asscheek in his hand. he decides to feel your clit instead, his thumb working its way down your slit and easily finding the tiny nub. the constant and steady movement ties a knot in your tummy, instinctively pushing your cunt against his hand, soft moans emitting from you. fuck, he was good at this.
you were no stranger to playboy bruce wayne. ever since you've met him, he always had a litter of lovers that followed him around like lost pets, people that he'd never commit to always at his beck and call. you think you might understand why, now. he was a provider, strong, handsome. and even though you hadn't felt his cock inside you yet, you feared you might not ever want another one again after this.
your pussy fluttered desperately, needing something inside you, an impending orgasm building up but frustration was still there. one of his long, thick fingers offers you grace, gently pushing into your cunt. it was almost comical how easily he got you to gush and make a mess of his hand, the digit rubbing and pushing at that sensitive and spongey spot deep inside of you.
"fuck!— bruce—" you cried out, back arching even further, hair sticking against your forehead due to your sweaty state. you pant quickly, trying to regain composure, but your heart only beats more wildly, like a tiny prey animal, the sound of bruce's clothes being removed filling your ears.
you twist your body and head a bit so you could look at him, the sight making your mouth fall open slightly, practically drooling while you oggled him. regardless of his age, the man before you was built like a damn sculpture. hand-crafted to perfection. he was still toned in all the right places after all these years, even if his body had grown softer during his time as a father. coarse hair that led down to a fat cock that was standing up at full attention.
you whimper a bit, unsure if you were really prepared for this. you assume that whatever this is will have an unspoken agreement to be kept secret, at least you hope so. bruce was sometimes unpredictable, but if dick or even jason found out, you'd imagine you and bruce would be killed.
"don't worry baby," bruce grunts softly, as if he knows exactly what you're thinking. the head of his cock teases your entrance, before moving his hips in a mimick motion of thrusting into you, fucking himself in between your thighs and cunt. the tip of his cock smears pre-cum along your stomach, a thick vein protruding from the shaft, and you worry your guts are about to be rearranged, not knowing if you'll be able to walk without a limp tomorrow.
you haven't been able to catch a good look at his cock yet, but you're sure he's gonna have the biggest dick you've ever had. it's proven to you quickly, the air being knocked out of your lungs when he fully sheaths himself inside, bottoming out without warning.
bruce grins above you, his hand resting on your lower back, just above your butt so he could watch the delicious jiggle of your ass bouncing on his cock. he keeps a slow pace at first. judging by your reaction, he knows the stretch hurts you a bit. your baby pussy was so taut around the meaty length, lips struggling to open up for him, even after playing with it.
soft ah ah ahs spill from you, body quivering ever so slightly. it would've been unnoticeable to anyone who wasn't watching you as closely as bruce was. you wanted to take it. you wanted to be good for him. you didn't want to disappoint him. you needed to take his cock like a big girl, even if you didn't fully understand why you wished to please him so much. maybe it's just cause you were sick of feeling like a child in front of him. like you had something to prove even if it wasn't needed. he'd adore you either way, but you didn't know it yet.
bruce was surprised you even succumbed to him as easily as you did, an adorable determination in your eyes, he presumes for a number of reasons. you were deprived just as much as him, which sometimes led to some questionable decisions. which meant he also knew you'd regret this later. but those were problems for another time.
one of his hands finds your wrists, keeping your arms pinned behind your back. bruce imagines the dainty fingers struggling to wrap around his thick girth, how pretty you would look with a cock fucking down your throat. he had fantasized about this happening for too long.
he fucks you with consistent movements, cherishing this moment in case he wouldn't be able to get it back. you were a kind girl. he knew all about the conflicted feelings that were settled deep in your heart because he felt them too. the teary look in your eyes, not knowing if you wanted him to stop or fuck you even harder, but he'd do the latter. with or without your permission.
bruce snaps his hips with more ferocity, keeping his focus on the recoil of your ass, his cock getting getting increasingly wet with creamy white slick, a ring of cum forming at the base of his length. you shudder a bit, his heavy balls slapping against your clit, and you shift your hips to fuck him back, needily chasing your own orgasm.
"that's it— use that little pussy on daddy," bruce hisses through his teeth, his nails digging into your supple flesh, all the filthy sounds that you and that sweet pussy made had his cock pulsing.
you could barely register a word he said, completely forgetting about anything other than the persistent pounding your weeping cunt was receiving. tears prickle your eyes, spit spilling out of your mouth. you looked a damn mess, barely coherent other than the small chanting of 'daddy' just like a prayer, mindlessly accepting the title.
this was something that bruce could get used to. everything about you was just so damn perfect. he shamelessly hoped that you were ovulating, wishing to fill your womb with his seed and make your belly full and round with his child, then you'd have no reason to leave. even if you tried, he wouldn't allow it.
your toes flex and curl, legs trembling from a wave of ecstasy. your poor cunt spasms uncontrollably around his cock, a strangled but sweet moan forced out of you while you rode out your climax. bruce stuffed you full, plugging himself deep inside of you. he stayed there for a moment before fucking you with slower but unmerciful strokes, skin slapping against you with a force that made your breasts bounce harshly.
your pussy squelches, juices leaking all over him. you struggle to crawl away from him cause of the overstimulation, aching and already sore due to the ceaseless strech. but he only pulls you back, growling at your disobedience, swatting your ass with a calloused hand. bruce cums with a raspy groan, a bruising grip on your hips, the sticky substance painting your velvety walls.
the mat below you is drenched in a mixture of yours and bruce's fluids, sure to leave a stain unless poor alfred was stuck cleaning your mess, and you had a feeling bruce wouldn't do it. you'd be willing to clean it yourself to save the embarrassment, but your weak limbs had other plans.
you think he's finished with you until you're hoisted up, forcibly turned around so bruce could see the rest of your naked body. he wastes no time to latch his mouth onto one of your nipples, swirling his tongue around the stiff peak. he wasn't going to allow you to leave here without leaving his mark on you, claiming you by filling up and covering your chest with his lovebites.
he could care less if anyone had seen how effortlessly he managed to corrupt you. all it took was to turn you into his perfect little cocksleeve. it'd be damn near impossible to avoid him after this. even if he wasn't around, the memory would be forever ingrained into your mind, and you wouldn't be able to look at dick or jason or any of the other wards without the reminder that you fucked their father.
you gently try to push at bruce's broad shoulders, the effort not doing much other than making him bite down on your tit, then moving along to the other. you guess the post-nut clarity had hit you, and a tinge of guilt welled up in your chest.
your brows furrow a bit in a feeling of discomfort when bruce glides two fingers through your folds, then gently massaging the swollen button above them. but your heartbeat picks up again, cunt clearly working with a mind of its own.
strained whimpers spill like honey from your lips, now finally shaking your head and attempting to push yourself away in defense when it's what you should've been doing since the beginning. bruce let's you break away from him though, his lips pulling off of you with a pop.
stern eyes meet your lustful but ashamed gaze, a state of displeasure evident on bruce's face. it's something that worries you, unsure of what that might entail. you don't want to make him angry, and you also don't think you're ready to leave the manor just yet, but you also don't know if you can act indifferent around bruce and the others.
maybe if he wasn't around as often, things would be easier, and you'd be able to pretend like this wasn't a mistake. your throat bobs, swallowing your anxiousness, wanting to reevaluate yourself, preferably alone.
you kneel there and wait, half expecting bruce to just fix himself up and leave without much regard for you, because you assumed that's the type of man he would be after fucking someone, but he doesn't. instead, he let's out a small disgruntled noise, collecting your panties and shorts that he had pulled off of you earlier.
his cum is still seeping out of you, a thick load slow to ooze out of you when bruce had emptied his balls inside your abused pussy. he doesn't ask if you want help or if you wanted to be cleaned up, simply raising the fabric up your legs and thighs till the most precious parts of you were covered again. the cotton becomes damp, your wet core coating them with the evidence of yours and bruce's sex.
he shortly cups the tiny cunt in his large hand, gently swiping his thumb over your mound. a small sigh leaves his lips, almost as if he was sad to be leaving the warmth and tightness of it so soon. you're not sure if you're comfortable with how easily he assumed he should have access to your body, but you guess it's also partly your fault, so you allow it for now.
his lips find yours, surprisingly gentle and loving, a stark contrast to how hard he was pistoning his dick inside your belly. but it's pleasant, so you welcome that also. bruce's tongue is smooth and soft, gliding along yours for a moment before he breaks away, a hazy look in his eyes. something you don't think you've ever seen there before, and you swear he's so dreamy to look at.
it's when you remember he's still undressed, eyes shifting below between your bodies and honing in on the massive cock that bruce endowed. even if it was gradually getting softer, he was still semi-hard, his blood pumping to that area just in case he needed to go another round. he'd be more than willing to stuff that tiny hole for you again, and he wished you'd ask him to, but you don't.
but maybe you will someday.
he let's you stare at his cock unabashedly, his breathing heavy and shaky. he slowly moved his hand, gently jerking the long length since you were gawking at him. you let out a cute squeak, suddenly remembering you were about to leave.
bruce doesn't seem to care that it's getting late, or that the rest of the family would be heading down to the cave sooner or later, his focus purely on what was in front of him. but he can see the look of worry written all over you, and it deters him. he stands up to his full height, your eyes widening slightly, his cock dangled in front of you shamelessly, and a small smirk forms on his face.
he has to refrain from grabbing your hair and prodding his dick between those pretty lips of yours. he moves to tug his joggers back on, his cock slapping a bit against his thigh from the movement. you never break eye contact, and neither does he, your thoughts plagued by bewilderment and amorosity.
you stumble over yourself while picking yourself up off the ground, barely reaching bruce's shoulders. you have to tilt your head up just to look at him without straining your eyes, uncertain of what to say or how your relationship with him will be like after this. it's distressing for you, but you're even more concerned with how you're gonna be able to look dick or jason in the eyes again afterwards.
you push away your apprehensiveness, chewing on your bottom lip so you can find the right words. "this— this never happened," you stutter out, your voice coming out more frail than you intended.
bruces lips curl a bit in dismay, his jaw clenching. out of everything he wanted to hear you say, that was certainly not at the top of his list. his hands ball into a fist, his nerves tensing up. he would never think about hurting you. not physically, at least. but you didn't know that. bruce scoffs lightly, almost amused that you actually thought he'd let you off that easily.
you scramble a bit, trying to get your point out before he can get a word in. "if anyone found out–"
"who i fuck is my business only," he cuts you off, already knowing what you'll say next. it's something he's thought over plenty times already. dick had been suprisingly compliant with bruce thus far, so he wasn't an issue according to bruce, and it was easy to get to him anyway. but he didn't foresee his other sons feelings coming into play, or yours. "and you're not an innocent little girl either, so don't act like one."
shit. you were practically digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole since you moved here. you stare up at him with pleading eyes, and he can't help but soften up a bit. if you were more smart, none of this would've ever happened. how the hell are you gonna be pining after jason now? and bruce.. he seemed less than pleased at the moment. and your gut told you that he wouldn't be letting this go anytime soon.
but he was at heart, a family man. everything he did was out of love, and a desire to protect others so they didn't have to experience the pain he felt when he lost the people most important to him. at least that's what you liked to believe. after jason's passing, they worked so hard to rebuild their relationship, and the trust between them had slowly begun to resemble what it used to be, even if there were some slight changes.
there was no way in your mind that bruce would destroy all of that just for you. you were just some girl, who occasionally hung around his son, but that didn't mean you held as much value in his life than his adopted children. he wouldn't go as far as breaking down his own home, again, just for you, would he?
"if this ever happened," you gesture between the two of you, shaking your head, already gathering how he must've felt about this based off his demeanor. you were no master detective like he was, but being able to easily read body language, sensing people's energies, and intuition, you were good at. "it would ruin everything."
"we're not going to argue about this." he rebutted, taking on a more stern tone, his voice raising above yours. like he was already making the decision for the both of you, and you weren't having that. you want to say more till the sound of footsteps catch your attention, a familiar voice resonating from the stairwell.
"master bruce, is everything alright?" you silently thank whatever higher power that it's alfred instead of someone else. alfred has had his fair share of catching bruce in.. less than favorable circumstances. but the look of surprise on his face isn't something you can miss, even if it's only there for a split second. you'd been caught.
alfred's eyes wander down to the floor below you that's still wet with juices, registering what it was quickly. his eyes meet yours for a moment, smiling at you weakly, then taking a step back from you and bruce. "sorry for the interruption, sir." the older man says formally, turning on his heel to leave, but you do the same before he can.
"actually, i was just leaving." you glance at bruce whose eyes haven't left yours since even before alfred entered the cave. and then you were back to feeling small and helpless around him, back to square one. you sigh and roll your eyes at his poker-face, trying to rush out the cave to escape the awkward interaction.
alfred's eyes follow you with worry, only turning to bruce with a vexed expression once you're gone, shaking his head in disappointment. bruce stared at him blankly, already knowing he was about to get a scolding. "i'm a grown man—"
"precisely." alfred cuts him off, sass in his voice. "she's over a decade younger than you, your sons friend. you have no right to take advantage of her." he argued, pointing a finger in bruce's face.
"she can make her own decisions." bruce seethes, unwilling to hear him out. he hates himself for knowing deep down the butler was right, but he didn't force you to do anything. not really. he knew this wouldn't be without repercussions, but alfred wouldn't say anything either to avoid suspicion.
everything would blow up in bruce's face, and maybe he'd take some accountability for once in his life, but alfred highly doubted that would happen anytime soon.
bruce faced away from him, dragging his tongue over his bottom lip. he hated how easily you turned this around on him, turning into a little cock-drunk slut while having sex and then turning around to be angry at him, but it was something he'd seen coming. bruce huffs out a heavy breath, ignoring alfred's smoldering expression. "just get out, i'll clean this up."
"and what of the girl?" alfred asks, side-eyeing the man he raised. he cared more for your safety and how you felt rather than getting on bruce's nerves. "that isn't your concern. i'll take care of it."
alfred was less than enthusiastic about what that could possibly mean, or what any of this would result in. his heart ached for you and jason, even occasionally eavesdropping on the time you spent together, and the friendship had blossomed. maybe it could have turned into something more, but he isn't so sure now.
he turns back into his more reserved and neutral state, giving bruce one last judgmental stare before leaving him to tend to him thoughts. there was no point in trying to reason with him, so he wouldn't waste the energy. he'd only watch you like a hawk now. and bruce included.
with alfred away now, bruce makes quick work of his computer. he searches for the camera he placed in your room upon your arrival to the manor. there's a weird feeling in his chest that he can't quite explain, unsure of what it even was, seeing you curled up in bed, staring off into space. this was one of the rare times he wished he was meta, just so he could read your mind, pick your brain, even if just for a little bit.
you didn't seem sad or angry. just more confused by what he could tell. your eyes shifting like you were thinking up all the possibilities and outcomes of this, and he hated to see it wrack your head. he wished he could say something, or hold you, anything that would give you comfort, but it'd probably just have the opposite of his desired effect.
he had hoped to dwell on the fact that he finally got to penetrate that pretty little cunt of yours more without having to stress over issues that were nonexistent for now, but that wouldn't be the case. there was always something there to bite him in the ass and humble him if need be.
now he could only dream that whatever emotions you possessed for jason would alleviate. that he was an option you didn't know you had up until today. he hoped that he could make you his. and he would. just one day at a time.
he makes sure to save the footage that the security cameras all over the cave had captured, for later usage. he didn't think he'd get an experience like that again anytime soon, that he had just gotten lucky this one time.
but you were almost too eager to fuck him back. bruce wondered if maybe he had more of a chance than he thought, but he didn't know the extent of the loyalty you held for jason or him. or if you would want to avoid the situation completely and decide to leave the mansion. he was never a religious man, but if there was anything for him to pray for, it was you.
he didn't know what was worse. his eyes narrow, analyzing you for a quick moment before shutting off the computer, his head almost beginning to hurt due to the frustration.
just one day at a time.
#batman x reader#bruce wayne x reader#batman#bruce wayne#smut#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere batman#yandere batfam
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Eyes and Ears
Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam
Summary: An AU where Barbara finds Jason instead of Bruce.
Chapters: 7/?
Characters: Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood, Original Character(s)
Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character(s), Past Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson
Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Older SIbling Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd-centric, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Jason Todd is NOT Robin, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Has a Crush, Adopted Siblings
Chapter Seven: Seaside
Barbara went out as Batgirl shortly after dinner, leaving Jason home alone to wait for Jim. As the night progressed, Jason lay on the couch watching tv. He wanted to be awake when Jim returned. It reminded him of how Jason often waited for his parents to come home, and that's what worried him most. As hard as he tried to stay awake for Jim's return, he couldn't keep his eyes open past two in the morning.
Jim dragged his feet as he entered the house around three in the morning. His body and mind were weary as he hung his coat up and kicked his shoes off. He turned the tv off and smiled at Jason, who lay curled up on the couch, holding one of the throw pillows to his chest. Jim picked Jason up and held him for a moment before taking Jason to his room to tuck him into bed. Jason took hold of Jim's wrist and mumbled, "Don't go... Please don't go." His voice was broken. Jim pushed Jason's hair back.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here... We might have to go get ice cream in the morning, though," Jim whispered as he sat down on the floor by Jason's bedside. Jason turned on his stomach, facing Jim, and he opened his eyes.
"Are you okay?" Jason asked. Jim took a deep breath.
"Mind if I tell you what happened and why I was gone so long?" Jim asked. Jason nodded.
Jim talked about his work with Batman and how many bombs they had to defuse around the city, and Jason stopped him. "But are you okay?" Jason asked. Jim paused, and his shoulders dropped.
"I'm exhausted, and I feel bad for how I left you earlier... I want you to know that I would've come home hours ago if I could've. I don't want you to think I abandoned you," Jim whispered.
"You were working," Jason yawned.
Jim left the room and showered, and climbed into bed. He lay awake for a few minutes only to hear Jason's footsteps in his room. Jim lay still and listened to Jason make a shuffling noise before complete silence. He turned on his side and met eyes with Jason. Despite the pounding in Jim's head, he opened his mouth and whispered, "It's cold down there. Come up here." Jason hesitated for a moment before climbing into Jim's bed, and he closed his eyes. Jim threw the blankets over Jason and took a deep breath.
"I was dreaming about my mom... My birth one. I mean, I don't know her, but maybe this is the way she wanted things to be. Maybe she didn't want me," Jason whispered, "Maybe she doesn't want to be found..."
Jim kissed the top of Jason's head. "I can't imagine someone not wanting a kid like you... But I honestly hope that even if you do find her, you'll consider making this your home for good," Jim whispered.
"You'd want me to stay for the next five years? Like until I turn eighteen?" Jason asked.
"Or until you're ready to leave home. I figure if you're still living with me by the time I retire, we could go live in Maine... Get away from all the noise. We could go fishing there," Jim whispered as he went on to describe the coastal cities and the lighthouses and the silence. Jason's breathing slowed, and Jim kept speaking as if Maine was some fairy tale place.
Jim drifted off to sleep only after he knew Jason was fast asleep. They both slept late into the next day, only waking once the sun was too bright to ignore. "Pop?" Jason asked as he sat up, and Jim groaned. "Therapy?"
"Mhm, we'll pick someone out together... But first, let's go eat, okay? I promised my son I'd take him out for ice cream," Jim smiled. Jason got out of bed, and he stood in the doorway.
"I know I just kind of got you, but... You're the best dad I've ever had," Jason whispered before waving. The words made Jim's heart heavy. He got cleaned up and dressed before leaving his room and ran into Barbara in the kitchen.
"You do realize that you just can't promise him ice cream and make things okay, right?" Barbara asked. Jim nodded solemnly.
"I know," he replied, "But I did talk to him about therapy, and he said he'll give it a try as long as I'm there with him."
"How'd you manage that? He wouldn't even—."
"I took a different approach. Do you want to come with us to get ice cream?" Jim asked. Barbara nodded.
"Sure, why not. I have a day off... Also, I noticed... This is the second night in a row that he hasn't slept in his bed," Barbara noted. Jim nodded.
"I know. But last night was sort of my fault. He was gonna sleep on the floor," Jim explained. Jason came out of the bathroom and stretched out. "Hey, I'll be downstairs." Jason nodded and moved to follow Jim before Barbara took his hand.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Barbara asked. Jason nodded and stood in the kitchen with her. "You okay?"
"Train me," Jason whispered.
"What?" Barbara exclaimed. "No! Are you crazy? You're just barely thirteen, that's way too young—."
"How old was Robin when he started? He didn't exactly look like he was in his early twenties," Jason whispered.
"Robin wasn't my baby brother. You are," Barbara replied as she tried to walk past him, and he grabbed her wrist.
"I already lost one family. I'm not gonna lose this one," Jason tightened his hold on her wrist, not to hurt her, but to let her know he was serious. She sighed.
"I'm not letting you in the field, but I'll consider it," Barbara replied, and he embraced her. She stood still in shock for a moment before hugging him back. "I'm serious. It's not a yes. I'm just thinking about it."
She tried to keep a stern look on her face, but she couldn't help but smile. "I call shotgun, Barbie!" Jason smiled as he ran down the stairs.
"Wait! No one calls me that!" Barbara shouted as she locked up and followed him down the steps and out to the car. Jason chuckled to himself in the front seat.
While they were eating ice cream, Barbara tried to think about the idea of a partner, but she knew he was far too young and much too traumatized to be out in the field. On the other hand, he would be too busy training to worry about losing them and decided that keeping Jason preoccupied was her best option.
She understood where Jason was coming from, but she was no Batman. She could only allow him to dream, nothing more. Barbara secretly hoped that he would lose interest as his fear of loss subsided. Only time would tell.
#fic#eyes and ears fic#batfam#Jason Todd#Barbara Gordon#Jim Gordon#Dick Grayson#Bruce Wayne#Sheila Haywood#Original Character(s)#Jason Todd/Original Character(s)#Past Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson#Canon Divergent AU#Older SIbling Barbara Gordon#Jason Todd-centric#Barbara Gordon is Oracle#Jason Todd is NOT Robin#Jason Todd Has Issues#Jason Todd Has a Crush#Adopted Siblings
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Weekly Fic Rec 33
I checked my bookmarks, and I'm pleased to say that "Bruce Wayne" is number one in the characters category. "Harry Potter" is still at the top for the fandom category, with "Hannibal" a close second. The next three are "Batman", "DCU", and "Superman". But, when those are added together it's over the amount for "Harry Potter". I'm just going to say that the Batman/DC fics are also winning in that category :)
Anyway, on to the fics!
Right where you want me by Violet138 - Superbat, complete. A soulmate AU where soulmates experience each other's pain. Bruce and Clark are soulmates :)
Clark Kent is too good of a Journalist by alexthebug1 - Superbat, complete. More Clark Kent focus. It's what it says in the title, he is a Very Good Journalist. It gets him in a bit of trouble though.
hands to tremble all over by shipyrds - Superbat (at the end), complete. This is a SPICY fic, heehee. Based off the lovely art from januariat (Twitter link to the NSFW art, heehee).
Seasons of Love by littlechinesedoll - Superbat, complete. STARDEW VALLEY AU MY B E L O V E D (I love Stardew Valley!). Clark is the farmer, and Bruce is the doctor.
painted blind by IHadHimOnTheRopes (CarterReid) - Superbat, wip. Soulmate AU! This is pared with the fic scramble, where it's Bruce and Clark's relationship from Bruce's point of view. This fic is from Clark's point of view.
The Storm Didn't Kill Me by ManURonaldo - Batfam, complete. Part of the Like Father Like Son series. Jason goes missing and the batfam scrambles to find him. Heed the tags.
Turn Right at Smallville by supermanstoddlerleash - Superbat, wip. An adorable fic where Bruce and Clark meet when they are teens. Each chapter has been a delight to read, very cute!
what happens in vegas by onlydance - Superbat, wip. Bruce and Clark get drunk in Vegas and get married. Shenanigans ensue. The banter is so much fun to read! The calendar invite that Bruce sent to Clark KILLED me, it was so funny! You'll know it when you read it ;)
borderline by TheResurrectionist - Batfam, wip. More of the batfam hivemind fic. The latest chapter had me on the edge of my seat!! I'm so excited to read what happens next! Also, read the tags and the author's notes to make sure this is a fic you want to read. Some people have been trouble doing that for some reason, even though it's the first thing that you read when you open up the page.
An Honest Conversation by frozenpotions - Superbat, complete. Oh my god, this fic. Bruce and Clark are so, so dumb about communication and talking about their feelings. It was so much fun to read about!
Patchwork Pod by Ktkat9 - Superbat, wip. More of the mer Bruce fic! The latest chapter was so sweet to read 💖
A kindred bond by Nyszu - Superbat, wip. Bruce and Clark have a fight, and then Bruce gets kidnapped by an Evil Superman from another dimension. I am here for ALL of this, I have been enjoying each update as they come in :D
Happy reading!!
#weekly fic recs#fic recs#fanfic recs#fanfic reccomendation#fic rec list#fic rec#superbat#batfam#batman#superman#bruce wayne#clark kent
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I cannot even BEGIN to describe how feral this trio of characters makes me, like set aside any potential shipping stuff, just as three characters who each have unique relationships with each other but each of those relationships winds up affecting the other character in this trio. Like--
Dick and Babs are sometimes a team together, two young heroes who are developing a friendship, two young heroes who understand what it's like to work with Tall Dark and Spooky and his need to control everything, that they both understand the other has a need to prove themselves, a drive that will not be stopped no matter what Batman tries to tell them. And eventually they will have an unshakeable relationship, whether romantic or platonic, they will always support each other.
And Bruce will use that dynamic to help give Babs gear that will keep her alive until she ~wises up~, and Dick plays along with it, pretends that he's giving it to her because he has a crush on her, meanwhile it actually came directly from Bruce. Yet it also does help give her a sense of someone rooting for her, because Dick genuinely is!
Dick and Bruce have a whole encyclopedia set of issues and undercurrents totally separate from this, god knows I've devoted like two hundred posts to trying to chip off even a fraction of Whatever Is Going On Over There, while here they're not yet father and son, but they're not not at that point at the same time, they're just not acknowledging it, but they're also partners, they tag-team Barbara with the good-cop/bad-cop routine when they have her in the Cave to ask why she's doing this, but Dick will turn on a dime and spray her with the knock-out gas, even though he'd projected a harmless aura and sneakily being on her side up until then.
Bruce and Barbara have a conflict-driven dynamic, she wouldn't mind having his approval, but it's not why she does what she does, she's not driven by it, she's not motivated by it, this isn't about him. But when they clash, she's often mad as hell, because he wants to treat her like he treats Robin, someone that he can set the rules for, someone he has the right to interrogate and she tells him, no, you don't have a monopoly on helping people or even wearing a Bat-themed symbol. He's not an influence in her life and she genuinely does not want him to be, but at the same time he casts such a long shadow and he's set the mold for all of them, that he's an influence in everyone's life in the Gotham vigilante scene.
And I keep thinking of that one future Gotham Knights issue where Dick tells Bruce that he and Babs are dating and she's so annoyed because SHE wanted to be the one to tell Bruce just so he didn't get to pretend to be all-knowing on her, when Dick just laughs in her face because she's being so cranky and weird about it, he thinks it's hilarious that they're trying to use him as a pawn in whatever chess game they have going between them, because he loves them both but also he's not going to play by those same rules, you guys have fun with that, he'll just watch with popcorn from the sidelines and laugh at you.
Just!! The slippery and sliding dynamics between these three!! At ANY GIVEN TIME two of them could be going through something that spills over onto the third and you never know which two it's going to be! And it's complicated and thorny and crunchy in the best way, there are always good moments and bad moments, and no two dynamics are the same, like what Barbara has with Dick is completely different from what she has with Bruce, which is completely different from what she has with her dad, while what Dick has with Barbara is completely different from what he has with Bruce, while what Bruce has with Dick is completely different from what he has with Barbara, and I'm not sure any other trio really comes close to that (other than maybe Bruce & Tim & Steph, but other than in a few runs, I'm not sure how much of a foundation that is to who the characters are to each other on a bigger narrative level).
It's not that they don't exist outside of each other! It's very easy to find Bruce & Dick stories that aren't influenced by Babs at all, it's very easy to find Dick & Babs stories that aren't influenced by Bruce at all, it's even reasonably easy to find Bruce & Babs moments that aren't about Dick at all. They're not all tied up in each other.
But they have built their foundations around each other. Bruce, because Dick was the one who knocked down his emotional walls and opened his heart up to having a family. Dick, because Bruce raised him and gave him a path forward in life, gave him direction. Barbara, because if she's going to love Dick (as a friend or as a boyfriend, whichever), he doesn't come without the Bat influence and she has to be aware of the space that takes up in him, as well as if you're a Bat yourself, you're eventually going to clash with Bruce, and boy has she.
And I'm just really, really into that kind of "multiple moving pieces on the board" dynamic, especially when it's not always nice or soft, because each of them care about the other (some more than others, granted) but they are all massively stubborn and often angry people who do not get pushed around easily, who will find a way around you if you try to get in their way, and you never know which two are going to be in conflict and just how that's going to spill over onto the third. I JUST REALLY LOVE DYNAMICS THAT DON'T FIT NEATLY OR EASILY INTO A SINGLE CATEGORY.
SORRY NOT SORRY ABOUT HOW UNHINGED I AM ABOUT THEM WHILE READING THIS COMIC.
#lumi.txt#dc#batfam#dick grayson#bruce wayne#barbara gordon#not really#dickbabs#but not NOT dickbabs either idk#batgirl year one#long post
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yo i'm seeing a lot of dishing about the purity culture of fandom and i absolutely agree
but i'd like to ask
do 'incest fic' count, i mean specifically i'm in the batfam fandom and if you try and write pairing with batman's adopted kids /former robins together everyone and their mother starts screaming at you both online and on ao3, and if you point out the lack of blood relation all you get it 'it's still incest oh my god you're a horrible person who doesn't believe in adopted sibling relationships' and like... i just wanna smush the two pretty vigilante characters together, it's very exhausting, and it also applies to discord, the fandom is very hardcore about policing this and like I get it to an extent because I've seen a lot of posts about how 'seeing batcest on my dash turns my stomach' 'having to scroll past bastcest on ao3 to get anything good is disturbing and disgusting' and tagging, is not enough for these people, i've seen some poor fools pointing out instances of real life adopted siblings who've ended up together due to the adoption being their parents decision ect and the vitriol that's met with is very aggressive, they basically just don't want it to exist and don't want people who ship it to feel safe talking about it out in the open on tumblr because it's weird and something to feel ashamed of that you shouldn't force 'normal people' to see.
And it's like, why do I have to be treated like a fucking leper in online spaces over a ship? It's literally scarlet letter shit where if someone posts something with nightwing x red hood art even if it's cute and utterly harmless like one of them blushing over a hot chocolate people will literally go into their mutuals askbox and 'warn' them that that person you reblogged from likes batcest. Legitimately. It's so toxic.
See, if you're tagging your ship correctly, if you're rating it correctly, if you're posting it in the appropriate places, if you are making it clear what it is that you've created so that others who don't want to interact with it can keep scrolling without clicking or can use their blacklist functions, then you're not doing anything wrong and your responsibility is pretty much over.
And that goes for any ship, any trope, and any fic in any fandom.
It does not matter.
No singular person or group of people has the right to police an entire fandom just because there's content being created that they don't personally like or agree with.
As long as those creators are keeping their content to the appropriate places (i.e. not posting explicit material in a general audience server or purposefully putting ship content under the wrong tag to force others to see it) then it's everyone else's responsibility to curate their own fandom experiences by using blacklists, mute functions, exclude filters, the block button, or just not clicking on content they know they don't like or agree with.
There are ships and tropes that turn my stomach. I don't want to see them, consume them, or even think about them because they squick me out.
And that's on me.
So I block, I blacklist, I mute, and I don't click.
Because the burden of responsibility for what I consume in fandom is on me.
Fandoms are like villages. Yeah, we're all living in close proximity but that doesn't give anyone else the right to come into my house uninvited and tell me they don't like my decor or that I can't cook this particular meal in my kitchen because they are allergic to it even though I never invited them to dinner.
So ignore the people who try and do that.
Tend your roses, fill your shelves, make your meals, and enjoy yourself instead.
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Rating: Teens and Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M, Gen
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and The Outlaws (Comics)
Relationships: Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Kon-El | Conner Kent & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Kon-El | Conner Kent, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, (it can be read both ways), past Roy Harper/Jason Todd
Characters: Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Kon-El | Conner Kent
Additional Tags: Birthday, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, he doesnt quite get one but its close, Gift Giving, Good Sibling Tim Drake, Good Friend Kon-El | Conner Kent, not to jason though just to tim, Grief/Mourning, Drinking, Underage Drinking, (not described in detail), Clubbing, Conner is Tim's personal airplane, and now Jason's too, Kon-El | Conner Kent Hates Jason Todd, roy harper is dead, Post-Heroes in Crisis (DCU), Sad Jason Todd, Bad Parent Bruce Wayne, Rated T For Jason Todd, and also for the drinking, Tim's ugly duffel bag
Summary:
Jason knows he’s alone, is the point. It’s fucking why he’s drinking himself half to death in this Devil’s asshole bar, and he’s planning on giving the fucker a hefty tip, so he’s not sure why the dude’s complaining.
Jason is halfway through his fourth glass of beer — and drunk as a homeless man on Christmas Eve because he’s always been a goddamn lightweight. Artemis used to make fun of him for it when they went out for drinks and fuck now he’s thinking about her— when the door to the bar opens to reveal… Motherfucking Tim Drake?
And is that Superboy?
Or, Jason has been exiled from Gotham, all his friends are either dead or missing, and he's falling back into old drinking habits. Naturally, he's entirely prepared to spend his birthday alone. Tim Drake has something to say about it.
#jason todd#dc comics#batman#tim drake#conner kent#red hood#red robin#superboy#fanfic#dc fanfic#jayroy#my writing#red hood and the outlaws#heroes in crisis
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20 Questions for fic writers
Tagged by @bad-at-names-and-faces and @i-did-not-mean-to
Thanks guys!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3? I have 96 works in Ao3 BUT I have 104 on Fanfiction (yes, I still post there don't judge me.) I think there are just like 3 works that I have on Ao3 that I didn't pu up on FanFiction.
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 411,089 (Not too bad, not too bad)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Primarily I write for Tolkien works, Star Wars and Batman (bat fam to be more specific). But I'm very much a, write one for each thing I love kinda gall. Honorary mentions include Sandman, Frozen, Twilight Avengers, Merlin and Teen Titans.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Lonely Stars Drifting In The Black (Star Wars) (so not surprised XD)
Kudos: 2,276
The Unexpected Pop Of Things (Lucifer TV)
Kudos: 1,265
This Isn't What It Looks Like (Lucifer TV)
Kudos: 762
Death of a Star (Lucifer TV)
Kudos: 760
Alone Never More (Batman comics) (you are just an okay story, why are you here? 😭)
Kudos: 729
(I'm kinda surprised and offended that I didn't put Lucifer on the honorary mentions and it still took places 2, 3 AND 4 👁)
5. Do you respond to comments? Oh yes (though I might take a couple of months if I some slip my mind). Almost all of them. I tend to not answer back to emojis because I'm like... I don't know what to answer?
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? This was kind of a hard question and it took me way too long to answer, so here, have the three runner ups.
A Crime Of Passion (Twilight: New Moon)
Ends with: Carlisle being forced to drink blood and being unable to deal with it.
At The End Of The Earth (Hellboy del Toro movies)
Ends with: John Myers being mauled by wolves and his last thoughts being of how alone he feels and of dying alone.
She's not a very good mother (Batman comics)
Ends with: Janet Drake dying as she chokes on poison and regrets she wont be able to do better by her son. She always thought she'd have more time.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Unlike the last one, this one was so easy to pick because, yeah... I'm an angsty girly for sure so the pool for REALLY happy endings was SMALL.
Drizzle Bt The Sea (Teen Titans cartoon)
It's quite short and all around just happy in vibes. Just Robin and Jericho playing by the sea under the rain.
8. Do you get hate on fics? I don't remember that I ever have? Thought I thought a couple might get hate, they didn't.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I tired it ONCE. And you know what happened? The sex was interrupted by trauma and they characters had to top to talk about the whole thing.
There is also that other one time but we're not going to talk about it.
But all in all I'm much more interested in exploring gen stories ✨
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I LOVE crossovers. I don't have many, but I am plagued mentally by them. I have 3 posted (only one on Ao3). And I'm not sure which one's craisiest. But the 2 on FF are both Rise of the Guardians crossovers, one with Avengers and the other with LES MISÉRABLES. What was younger me smoking? I would really like to know.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware 👁
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I think someone might've asked one or two times? But I honestly don't remember, if it ever happened, it was ages ago.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Oh yes! It's always so fun to me. I've done it a couple of times with @slightly-crimson-tornado and I'm currently working on one with @pushing-daisies-renaissance ✨
14. What’s your all time favourite ship? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Steve Trevor x Diana Prince I think. Close runner up is definitely Satine Kryze x Obi-wan Kenobi. And I'm VERY fond of Bruce Wayne x Selina Kyle.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a stupid amount of wips so I'll just go by posted ones. I have this story idea that I REALLY Like but I came up with it ages ago, and though i still like the idea I'm doubtful that I'll ever give it the time it deserves to go back to ):
Because the truth was too terrible (Avengers)
It's a story about Natasha being trapped inside her mind and Thor getting in to wake her up. I'm still pretty fond of the general gist of it. But it's OLD now.
16. What are your writing strengths? Aaaaaahhh. Trauma management? Like, they way people go about it and navigate it; how they talk about it with others? At least I THINK that's my strength. People keep complimenting those things XD
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I am too flowery with wording and I get sick of myself. It's out of control and I sometimes can't help it.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I love it. If I can't get help I'll just wing a google translate, or god forbid do some research on structure. I'm BAD at it, but I love it and use it frequently.
19. First fandom you wrote for? Inazuma Eleven (anime) hehe. Love of my youth, protect me.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written? I love this this Twilight one-shot I wrote some years ago. It made me suffer a lot (for reasons you can find in the author's notes) but the idea has always had a tight grip on me. I really like it (and hope to got I can get the sequel out one day).
A Crime Of Passion (Twilight: New Moon)
BUT two honorable mentions. One, my Star Wars series where Obi-wan get's rescued from Death Watch by Jango Fett. And Two, my VERY self indulgent crossover between Avengers x Merlin, I love the story and I'm really super fond of what I've gotten down so far.
Celestial Bodies Of The Lonesome Variety (LSD) (Star Wars)
Of The Old Things Hidden In The World (Merlin x Avengers crossover)
Ya know, just in case you feel like it, tagging @slightly-crimson-tornado , @cilil , @dottie-wan-kenobi , @fishing4stars , @arlenianchronicles , @scary-grace
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I saw your tags - Do you want to share maybe a happy story about your brother? I'd love to hear one if you do.
Awww oh my gosh this is so sweet! Thank you.
We had a five year gap between us, so we never really were close until we got to be adults. Like any big brother, he always liked harassing me. He loved to get reactions of me by telling me racist jokes (he wasn't he was just an asshole). But he also got me into a lot of things I really love today liek Star Trek, Star Wars, and Batman (his holy trifecta if you will.
My brother was this pretty sterotypical southern guy. He had a beard, big gut, and liked to put on a tough exterior. But I had seen him in some really vulnerable and sweet moments. He was a person who cared a shit ton about people, though he'd never really show it. He was the kind of guy to tell me I sucked at video games, but then go and buy me the walk through book int he same day. He left behind him a legacy of people who had a wealth of good stories about him. How he helped them build things for their home, fix cars, take care of their kids, etc. He cared so much about the people in his life, but he'd never let you think he was anything than an asshole.
It's also because of my brother I got into Predator and Aliens, also Transformers and the Ninja Turtles. When he 'had to watch me' from time to time, he'd make me watch the things he liked. I remember we had gotten this X-Men cartoon VHS from Pizza Hut (yes, I'm old. But back int he nineties we got VHS with our fast food and it was awesome!) and I remember thinking Beast was so dreamy. But apparently that was weird and he made me watch Star Wars instead. (Jokes on you, that movie also had a huge hairy creature. You can't stop seven year old me.) I also remember watching Alien for the first time. The Xenomorphs were terrifying to me as a kid, but I also could not stop looking at them. My brother had action figures from the movie, and I wanted to play with his Alien Queen so bad! I hated her, but I loved her. I hated her, but I loved her. I now have a word for that as an adult, and it's scareroused. My brother was a pretty big collector, he kept almost all of his childhood toys. So when we started going through his things, it was relly cathartic to go through memories and recall things I hadn't thought about in ages. I have a Venom figure of his that sticks his tongue out. I have a Yautja mask my brother owned on my wall. I also have his huge collection of Ninja turtle merch that I'm still trying to find a place for. I also have his Gargoyle figures! Which, yes, he also got me into as a kid but never let me play with his figures. Whose laughing now, bro?
I think his influence, along with my mom's, really helped me discover this fun little niche of monster romance.
Thank you again, I really do enjoy sharing stories about my brother.
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Writing Patterns
Rules: list the last lines of the last 10 fics you've posted to see if there is a pattern. (I did first lines because I apparently can't read and on pillowfort the first line game was going around so I just assumed and now I'm not redoing this)
Tagged by @nonamemanga
Excluding Ao3 archives of notfics (infinite vigilantes, hearty mini dress and loveweaver) here are my last ten!
My self-portrait of you (T | 9k | Wednesday)
If Tyler’s colleagues at the Weathervane ever found out how much he loved working the late shift, it would make it a lot harder to extort extravagant favours from them in exchange for taking said night shifts week after week.
Pyrrhic Miracle (T | 9k | Iron Man)
Obadiah hated Howard Stark. He would sell him to Satan for one corn chip and fantasized about doing just that with a frequency that bordered on psychotic regularity.
Unstoppable (life)force, immovable object(ion) (T | 2k | Batman)
The room was really the most blandest definition of a room. There were four walls exactly, a door at Jason’s back, and the walls were a green-brown-greige colour for which arguments could be made closely resembled several other colours.
A Standing Reservation in the Eye of the Storm (T | 14k | Wednesday)
The second Tyler clapped eyes on the demon he cursed; briefly, colourfully, and quietly underneath his breath. “I don’t want to have sex with you.”
Skeleton Key (T | 10k | Wednesday)
Tyler was submerged, deep beneath the surface of the water. For the majority of the last year, his life had been meticulously micromanaged by Laurel, every hint of his personality ground to dust.
Eugene vs Etiquette (G | 2k | Wednesday)
I can’t not mind control my only friend’s boyfriend!!! Help!!!
Enid Sinclair vs the World Wide Web (G | 2k | Wednesday)
AITA for not sharing my bestie's bf's trauma even though everyone was super scared of him??
Not a Trainwreck, but I Can’t Look Away (T | 4k | Wednesday)
The entire thing really is Tyler’s fault.
An hour into Armageddon, but also last week (T | 2k | Wednesday)
Xavier was still entombed in the backseat of the Sheriff’s car when he heard a wolf’s howl, split through with a monstrous roar like a huntsman’s axe through wood. He screamed in frustration, his too-small human voice joining the choir of war cries.
The Only Garden My Heart Will Ever Grow In (T | 3k | Wednesday)
Wednesday was at the Weathervane, suffering with endless patience through a substandard quad – made by someone other than her boyfriend. She had been hoping Tyler would be present somehow, despite having memorised his class schedule, and had been disappointed.
Analysis: I feel like more often than not I go for a slightly comedic opening. With the exceptions of #3, #5 and #9 which are overall more dramatic works that deal more with body horror and death - even if they're not funny, I do intentionally put a kind of humour into my fics and try and show that tone with the opening line.
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To Touch Fate
Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam
Summary: Jason attempts to settle down in Southern Italy and live a civilian life.
Chapters: 6/?
Characters: Jason Todd, Original Character(s), Bruce Wayne, Terry McGinnis, Matt McGinnis
Relationships: Jason Todd/Original Character(s)
Additional Tags: Angst, Jason Todd-centric, Jason Todd is a Father, Terry McGinnis is Batman, Retirement, Future Fic, Major Original Character(s)
Chapter Six: Five Months
"Papá," Angelo whispered as he patted Jason's chest. Jason picked Angelo up, allowing the child to sit on his chest. "Papá, I threw up."
Jason groaned and turned the light on. "Where?" Jason asked.
"In the toilet," Angelo whispered, "I called Mamma, and she told me not to flush it. She told me to wake you." Jason felt Angelo's cheeks and carried him to the hallway bathroom. Jason glanced into the toilet and picked up his phone.
"Emi? It's orange," Jason whispered.
"He didn't know how to send a picture, and he couldn't remember the color," Noemi explained. Jason kissed Angelo's temple.
"He has a low fever, but he looks alright. I've got him now, dolce metà. Do you want me to bring you something to eat?" Jason questioned.
"No, I'm alright. Thank you, mio amato. Angioletto? Mamma loves you," Noemi whispered.
"I love you too, Mamma," Angelo mumbled, "I hope all your patients get better."
"Thank you, occhioni," Noemi replied, "Jason, save a kiss for me."
"They're all for you," Jason replied. Noemi chuckled and hung up.
Jason flushed the toilet and looked Angelo in the eye. Angelo grabbed Jason's face and held eye contact. "You don't want to go back to bed, do you?" Jason asked. Angelo shook his head. "I thought so. Since we're both awake, what do you wanna do?"
"Does that hurt?" Angelo asked as he touched a faded bruise under Jason's eye.
Jason chuckled. "Papá's had a lot worse... And sometimes we have to make sacrifices for good causes. I took the punch because it was an exhibition match... It wasn't a real fight," Jason whispered, "And I still won."
"But does it hurt?" Angelo asked. Jason shook his head.
Jason sat on the couch watching TV with Angelo on his lap. "Nuh-uh. It looks worse than it is... Angioletto, do you worry about me?" Jason asked. Angelo nodded and lay his head against Jason's chest.
"Do you miss your Papá?" Angelo asked. "Mamma asks you."
Jason didn't want to lie. Angelo might've been three, but he was smart enough to know when Jason wasn't telling the truth. "I needed to be a father more than I wanted to be a son. Angel, most people don't have to choose, but my job in America was too dangerous, and so was your grandpa's.
"I had to leave America forever because I had you and Mama. I don't regret it, but I miss it sometimes. My family disagreed with how I did my job. They were angry with me because they didn't understand... But before I left, I changed how I did things because I wanted them to know I loved them before I went away.
"I don't think anyone should have to change to be loved as they are, though. Family should do their best to understand why someone acts or feels a certain way. Do you understand?" Jason questioned. Angelo didn't answer. He'd fallen asleep on Jason's chest.
"I love you more than you'll ever know, Angieletto," Jason whispered as he rubbed his back.
Jason drifted off shortly after that. He woke in a sweat, glancing down at Angelo, who lay fast asleep on his chest, shaking violently under his arm. Jason held his wristwatch to the child's forehead and cursed under his breath. Without turning, he grabbed his phone from the night table and called Noemi. She answered on the first ring. "What's wrong?" Noemi questioned.
"Don't worry. I wanted to call and let you know I sent you Angelo's temperature. He sweated through his pajamas, so I might take him to the ER. Are you going into surgery soon?" Jason questioned. Jason sat up, still holding Angelo close to his chest.
"No, I just got out of surgery. I'll postpone my surgeries for the first half of the day and meet you there. Is he upset?" Noemi questioned.
"No, he's asleep. I'll bring a change of clothes for when he wakes up," Jason whispered, "Call you when I get there." Noemi hung up, and Jason carried Angelo to the garage, putting him in the car seat before remembering their shoes.
He ran inside and grabbed Angelo's cup and shoes before returning to the car. The hospital was a short drive from their home, so Jason pulled into the parking lot just as Angelo started whining. Noemi waited outside, rubbing her belly with worry all over her face. Jason carried Angelo to the entrance, and Noemi offered to take him. "He's not heavy... Unless it makes you feel better to hold him," Jason whispered. Noemi nodded and took Angelo in her arms.
"Giasone? How've you been sleeping?" Noemi asked.
"Well enough... Noemi, how are you and the baby?" Jason questioned.
Noemi laughed and kissed Jason's cheek. "A woman grabbed my face, told me I looked beautiful, and swore we were having a boy. I think she's right," Noemi replied.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Jason asked.
"I have such lovely men in my life," Noemi whispered, "So, I think another boy would be wonderful. Maybe he'll give Angel someone to play with."
The nurse took Angelo's vitals and hooked him up to an IV. "Emi, I've never taken you anywhere, have I?" Jason asked. He knew the answer but wanted to see how it made her feel.
"No... Do you plan on taking me someplace?" Noemi asked. Her eyes widened, and he melted.
"It's a surprise," Jason replied. He had the perfect place in mind. "When Angel gets better, I'll fly us out. Can you take time off?"
"Mhm," Noemi replied, "Why do you want to go on holiday?"
"Because Angel's been so good about the baby, and we didn't have a real honeymoon-."
"I don't care about the honeymoon," Noemi interrupted.
"I still think it'd be nice if we had one," Jason replied, "We've been married three years, and I've never taken you anywhere nice... Except for Giorgio's."
Angelo sucked his thumb. "Thank you for bringing him in," Noemi smiled as she kissed Angelo's forehead.
"Of course... You know, he worries about me?" Jason whispered. Noemi nodded.
"He said a lovely prayer at mass the other day. Angel asked God to make sure punches wouldn't hurt you at work," Noemi smiled, "And he prayed for his American Nonno and all the people in the hospital."
"He prays for you too... When I took him, he prayed for you and the baby. Specifically, he asks for you not to feel sick and for the baby to be small. He doesn't want you to pop open. I've explained it to him a few times, but he still doesn't believe me," Jason chuckled.
"Angel's a good boy," Noemi giggled, "So... Holiday?"
"Holiday... But let's not tell Angel. I want to surprise him," Jason replied. He was hopeful, finally prepared to accept normal.
#fic#batfam#batman beyond au#Jason Todd#Original Character(s)#Bruce Wayne#Terry McGinnis#Matt McGinnis#Jason Todd/Original Character(s)#Angst#Jason Todd-centric#Jason Todd is a Father#Terry McGinnis is Batman#Retirement#Future Fic#Major Original Character(s)
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Put It On My Tab: Chapter 3
Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader
Tag: @vbecker10
Warning: Cursing
Summary:
Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed?
Author Note (updated 12/15/22):
I don't know how or why this got deleted, so I'm posting it again. Here are the links to the other parts for new readers:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 4
PLEASE READ WARNING ALWAYS.
Aside from the occasional whirring of the computer fan trying to cool down the tower and the creak of the computer chair every time Jason moved, the room was silent. Leaning back again, he let his head hang back and let out a loud groan, swiveling to one side until his monitor was just in sight. Still not on yet. He fussed with his hair, the pop of white in the front mixing with the black before falling back into its usual place. He was disgruntled and now growing impatient. “Another fifteen minutes, the hell is going on?” He muttered at the lack of message from “IAmBatman”.
Though he was not an avid gamer, he did dabble in the periodic pastime. When his brothers insisted he try online gaming, he did what any moody loner sibling did and ignored them. However, after enough pestering, he caved and gave it a shot. He lingered in the town/lobby area of the game, buying or creating items, until he felt prepared enough to look at the request board that he usually ignored. There were a bunch of different requests floating around, but he had no intention of randomly selecting one. He needed a good quest where he could contribute. He was not going to ride a bus, nor did he want to be the bus. It was a simple enough restriction…or so he thought.
Very quickly it became clear that at this hour only those who were very skilled or not skilled enough were around. A middle ranger like him was too good or not good enough. Not wanting to be a quitter, Jason stuck to his restrictions and scrolled through the board. He would exit the list and reread again, hoping a refresh would populate new ones. After the fourth refresh and seconds from him rage-quitting out of frustration, an interesting username caught his eye. There, in black ink, was “IAmBatman” requesting help. He could not help the loud snort that came from him as he accepted the task. He needed to see this avatar for himself. It had to be some buff male avatar all black or modded to look as close as possible to the black cowl wearing vigilante. What greeted him was an avatar that was outfitted to look like his vigilante alter: Red Hood.
Jason nearly choked on his water when he saw it. The player had a username calling himself Batman and was dressed up as Red Hood? This had to be some sort of prank. Grabbing his phone, he opened the group chat with the other bat-boys and demanded who was behind this. Anyone available was utterly confused and insisted they had no idea what he was asking about. Snapping a picture, he sent it and asked again. The response? Damian demanded to know what buffoon would mix the two, Dick was sending laughing GIFs, and Tim wanted to meet the genius who was trolling him. It was obvious none of them has a clue on whom this player was, but they all wanted to meet him now.
<You know you’re dressed as Red Hood, right?> He sent into the chat.
<Yeah, so?> IAmBatman responded.
<Your username…it’s Batman.>
<Who says I’m not?> He stared at his screen and rolled his eyes. <Have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?>
<I’ve never met you.>
<Which means you haven’t, so you can’t say I’m not.> He let out a small chuckle at the silliness of the argument.
<OK, “Batman”, what’s the plan?> And that was how he made friends with “IAmBatman”. Now, here he was sitting and waiting for the fake crusader to sign in.
I know I’m not the most punctual thanks to my line of work, but IAmBatman is never this late without giving some kind of heads up. Did something happen? They did say they’re living in Gotham, troubles everywhere here. He frowned, tapping his fingers on the table. Another eternity passed by (five minutes). “Forget, I’m logging out. I’m just gonna read, I waited long enough.” He fixed his posture in his chair and wheeled it closer to the table, grabbing his controller. With a few presses and pushes, he was staring at the dialogue box that asked him if he was ready to sign out. His thumb was primed and ready to confirm it, but he could not. Frustrated with himself, he exited the screen and went back to idle. I don’t need to log out, I’ll just grab a book and read. “If they come on, and I miss it, I miss it. So what? They can wait, just like I’ve been.” He pushed his chair back and hopped off the seat, making his way over to his filled bookshelf. Searching through the titles, he grabbed the one he was currently working on and made his way back to the desk.
“Now, I’m just going to sit here and enjoy my book. If they log on, and I miss it, oh well. They can wait as long as I did.” Kicking his feet up on the table, he leaned back and slouched a little into the perfect slight curl before opening to his bookmark. Now his night would not be a waste. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he jumped into the world within the pages.
What felt like the tenth eternity of the night rolled by as he heavily dropped his feet to the floor and sat up. How many times have I read that stupid line? If anyone asked me, I wouldn’t be able to tell you the fuck I even read! He audibly groaned, scrubbing his face with his hands. Did he dare look at the clock? He widened the gab between his index and middle finger to peek at the clock on his wall. “For fuck’s sake, only three minutes?!” He nearly chucked the book in hand at the offending time piece on the wall. “I’m going to go insane, this is it! This is how I, Jason Todd, actually die. Insanity from waiting online for some stranger to come play games with me.” He slouched further in his chair, letting it swivel side to side. Maybe if I do this long enough, I’ll melt into the floorboards. He scrunched his nose and furrowed his brows. This is really pathetic. A ping from the speakers made him jump, the chair sliding backwards as he fell forwards, narrowly saving his nose from smashing into the edge of the desk as he scrambled to get up.
<Hey, sorry I’m late. My shift ended late. Are you still there?> All the anger and frustration he had built up instantly flew away as he blindly reached back until he grabbed the arm of his chair, pulling it back under him as he typed back.
<Yeah, I’m here. Took ya long enough. What’s with all these late night shifts, I might think you’re actually Batman 🤣> he replied.
<Crime stops for no man!> He snorted.
<Ok, caped weirdo, what’s with all the late night shifts?>
<Let’s just say I had an expensive date one night, and now I’m stuck paying off some debt 🙄>
“Expensive date, paying off debt? The hell kind of date is that?” He muttered to himself. <I think you owe me a little more detail than that after making me wait here all night.?
<Can’t we just go kill some dragons instead? 🥺>
<After you tell me how a date got you into so much debt.>
<Ugh, fine, rude!>
<Good girl>
<Who said I’m a girl? I could be some sweaty, hairy old guy living in the apartment building basement.>
<Yeah, and I’m the Queen of England 🙄>
<Well, Your Majesty, it’s rude of you to assume my gender when we’ve never met.>
<I can tell by the way you type. Trust me, I know a lot of sketchy guys, you’re not a sketchy old dude.>
<Oh yeah, what if I’m a super skilled sketchy old dude that’s pretending to be a girl?>
<Wow…so sexy…you really know how to get a guy going. Quit trying to distract me and tell me what happened already!>
<Alright, alright! Jeez, so pushy!> She replied and Jason smirked.
I knew it! He thought with a smug smirk, watching the three dots appear and disappear a few times on the screen as she typed. He watched this repetitive animation run for a good handful of minutes, his curiosity rising with each passing second, until a small paragraph of text appeared on his screen. Leaning on to his right arm, he leaned in closer to the screen as he read. “Couple months ago, spent the night with some dude during her high school reunion dinner, they spent the night at a hotel, he trashed the room, and she’s stuck paying the bill.” He muttered aloud to himself as he summarized the details. “Damn, that sucks!” <What kind of asshole does that?! Can’t you fight the hotel and tell them he’s the real culprit?>
<I wish! I don’t know a damn thing about the guy! We met for the first time that night and I had the room under my name so legally I’m the one responsible for any damages and fees that may be incurred from said damages. So, because of that, I’m working extra shifts and overtime to get as much money as possible to clear the charges without asking my friend for a loan.>
<Damn. Do you remember anything about this guy? I can beat the shit out of him for you. I’m pretty good in a fight, if I do say so myself.>
<I feel like saying that automatically means you’re terrible and I’ll need to save you from yourself 🤣. Thanks for the offer, though.>
<Ow, rude! We’ve never even met! How can you tell if I’m strong or not?>
<Just like how you can tell if I’m a guy or a girl by how I can text and assume I’m not Batman.>
<Nice try, but I have sources close to hm. You’re not Batman. Also, was I wrong though?”
<Would my saying yes or no actually prove your right or wrong? “
<Touché, well, the offer still stands. If you need me to teach that shithead a lesson, just say the word.>
<My hero, now can we go beat up some giant lizards for items? I need to vent out the frustration of having to deal with the rich snobs of Gotham who like to complain about the color of our cups during the holiday season.>
<What, it’s not December yet.>
<I know, that doesn’t stop them. Now, ya joining me or not, wonder boy?>
<Yeah, yeah, let’s go!> He chuckled, following her avatar.In the blink of an eye it was nearly dawn and the two of them finally called it quits and logging off. The boss monster was a lot harder than they anticipated, but they finally managed to get the upper hand and reap the rewards. Crawling into his bed, he pulled the covers up to his shoulders and rolled onto his side. She was safe, and he managed to get some great gameplay time after a boring night of patrol. Maybe life was not so bad after all. Yawning, he closed his eyes and let sleep finally creep over him. Yup, a good night. His eyes flew open as he practically went flying out of bed at how fast he sat up. Two words had suddenly come hurdling to the forefront of his mind. Two words he skimmed over in his eagerness to get the hunting on the road. The same pair of words that made his eye twitch from how close they were to his old title as Batman’s sidekick. “Holy shit, there’s no way! It can’t be, but who else says that?!” He let out another loud groan as he dropped backwards on to his mattress. IAmBatman was the girl from the hotel room. Tonight was going to be a long night.
#jason todd#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x reader#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x you#red hood x you#red hood x fem!reader#red hood x reader#red hood fic#red hood#jason todd fic#batman fic#batman fanfiction#batman#dc fanfic#dc comics#dc universe#your name#red hood x y/n#y/n reader#y/n#reader insert
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An Uninvited Guest
Ship: The Joker x Hannibal "Bill" Feather (Civilian AU)
Word Count: 1740
Summary: I finally got motivated to write some good ol' J/Keaton! AU flavoured, too! The first part is inspired by a short fic I read ages ago on W.att.pad (I think, though it could've also been De.viantAr.t now that I think about it, I didn't really have a go-to fic-reading website back in the day, I just read whatever links came up on Google lmao) about Joker's attention being captured by someone completely mundane, which obviously he finds very strange. The rest of it is a scenario I've thought about/attempted to write before and just hadn't quite gotten the latch on it until now: An injured Joker appears in my s/i's home, and instead of freaking out (Ok, he's freaking out a little bit) he opts to help Joker by cleaning and patching up his wounds as best he can. CWs for brief descriptions of glass-related injuries and blood, brief food mention. Ask to add further warnings as I feel like there could be more but I'm not sure.
Tag List: @canongf @knightfallships @futurewife
One evening, as The Joker was taking a joyride around Gotham, he happened to turn his purple sports car down an alleyway. Creeping down the shadowy road, he soon came to a complete stop, distracted by something... or rather, someone. It seemed entirely trivial for this person to have caught Joker’s eye, and yet he couldn’t help but watch as a pale figure in baggy clothing fumbled with their keys, hoisting two bags of groceries with their opposite arm. For a moment, he was astonished that they had not glanced over their shoulder and observed his vehicle yet.
He heard them groan as they dropped the set of keys, setting the bags on the asphalt before stooping and fishing them back into their hand. At that moment, Joker shook himself out of his trance and grinned widely as he revved his engine, his headlights blinking to life, relishing in the way the civilian startled at the sudden noise. He sped out of the alley, cackling as the civilian pressed themselves against the wall of their building, narrowly avoiding being clipped by the car's side mirror. Still, when The Joker returned to his hideout, their face flashed in his memory. It was frankly a bit annoying, the longest he had ever considered a civilian was typically in the moments leading to their death or how they could be of use to his schemes. Why in Batman’s name did a person returning home from an errand strike him so fervently?
It was a stormy night in Gotham, a not-at-all-uncommon occurrence, when Bill awoke to the distinct sound of a smashed window. It jolted him out of a heavy sleep and prompted him to grab a flashlight and an unused handgun.
“That better have been a fucking neighbour’s, I have to be up at six tomorrow...”Bill grumbled to himself as he cautiously padded into the hallway and onto his staircase. Shining his flashlight through the railing, his heartbeat thundered in his ears as his eyes adjusted to the scene. His front window, facing the street, was indeed smashed. More concerningly, a figure lay on the floor underneath it in a heap. For a moment, all he could do was stand and stare, all parts of him frozen except for the hammering in his chest. A clap of thunder sprung him into action, sending him back up the stairs to retrieve a first aid kit from his bathroom before returning to the bottom floor of his apartment.
“Hey, are you alright??” Bill called as he approached, shoving his firearm in the waistband of his sleep pants. He slowed as he got close enough to make out the person’s features... green hair and a sharp purple suit... his stomach dropped with recognition, then leapt into his throat as the figure groaned, pushing itself up to observe him. The Joker stared blearily ahead, barely acknowledging the glass sticking out of his snow-white skin. He had jumped the curb and had been sent flying out of his convertible and through someone’s window. Clearly, the owner of the window was staring down at him now, struck with fear. Still, he was too dazed to even quip at them...
“What the Hell am I doing?” Bill hissed to himself as his body moved of its own accord. He moved forward and wrapped his arms under the criminal’s armpits before dragging him around to his couch, hoisting his wiry frame onto the thick cushions. Turning on the nearest lamp, he flinched at the shift in lighting and opened the first aid kit, taking out a pair of tweezers, a small bag of cotton balls, and a bottle of disinfectant. Biting his lip, he observed his unlikely patient. The Joker’s eyes rolled and flicked unpredictably under his fluttering, blue eyelids, his nostrils flaring...
“Are you with me?” Bill snapped his fingers over the clown’s face, earning him another grunt. “Good enough. I’m going to take the glass out of your skin, now. Though compared to the punches you take from Batman, this must just feel like a few quick pokes, eh?”
The Joker made another sound and Bill was sure it was some subconscious, feeble attempt at a chuckle. Taking a deep breath, he set to the unfamiliar task, tweezing away the shard of glass- most of which was embedded in the clown’s face, treating the bleeding holes with antiseptic, and covering them with little, round, Loony Tunes-themed bandages. While his hair still stood on end, it was at least comforting that the clown seemed completely out of it from the force at which he had crashed into his living room. He had to wonder if he had broken or at least sprained anything, other than the glass.
Brushing glass off of the clown’s coat, the final piece Bill removed was in his hand, forcing him to take off the man’s gloves, setting them aside on the floor. As he worked, he marvelled at how oddly soft Joker’s hands were, though he supposed it had to be because he wore those gloves all the time. He was pretty sure the man didn’t have fingerprints, so then he had to wonder why he wore the gloves at all, besides the fact he obviously didn’t care much for hiding himself, either.
Stepping back and looking down as the clown twitched in a state somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness, he supposed all he could do was wait and let things unfold once Joker came to. He suddenly felt sick. The Clown Prince of Crime was laying, injured, in his living room. Of all the crazy shit he dealt with in Gotham, why oh why did the universe send him this?! For all he knew, the next few hours could be his last. He slipped into the kitchen and poured himself a shot of something strong, chucking it back and groaning in disgust. The digital clock on his oven read 2:06am. Pulling himself together, Bill set back toward his bedroom, throwing a final glance over his shoulder at the criminal on his couch before ascending the stairs.
At five-thirty, Bill jolted awake, though not due to anything obvious. He blinked rapidly, staring up at the ceiling. He could still hear the rain, though it sounded much lighter than it had been. Wiping his hands over his face, his heart skipped a beat as he remembered what might be waiting for him downstairs. Knowing he had to get up soon anyway, he swung himself out of bed and went into his bathroom, splashing water on his face in an attempt to “sober up” before facing his possible demise.
“Y’know what. I didn’t want to go to work today, anyway, so what’s the big fuckin’ deal?” He murmured to himself as he went back downstairs. His breath caught in his throat as he reached the landing, causing him to cough in surprise. The Joker had disappeared. He almost cried out in relief... before he heard his fridge open. Oh, holy mother of shit.
Anxiously, he inched toward his kitchen... feet away, The Joker stood in front of his fridge, handling his chocolate milk jug. He watched as he gave it a groggy swirl before unscrewing the cap and lifting it to his cherry lips. Sudden outrage completely overtook Bill’s sense of self-preservation.
“Shit, you really are evil!”
Briefly choking and clearly caught off guard, the jug was swiftly pulled away from Joker’s lips as he stared in Bill’s direction. Deliberately, he replaced the cap and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, replacing his expression with a blood-curdling grin.
“Ehhh, what’s up, doc?” He sneered, performing an impression of Bugs Bunny and touching one of his new bandaids that depicted the character. He placed the jug back in the fridge and closed it, suddenly appearing in front of Bill as if he had taken one giant step between the kitchen and the living room, towering over him. “You’re a curious one, aren’t you?”
Bill shrunk away, oddly enough feeling a blush creep into his face. Still, he spoke with daring, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Joker chuckled. “Well, my dear, it means you could’ve hauled me back into the street after I so unceremoniously barged in... but you didn’t. In fact, you plunked me down on your couch, but you didn’t just stop there, no, you patched me up. Any other citizen would’ve called 911 or at least busted their ass over to a motel... hoo-hoo, much like when you see a spider! Burn the house down! Forfeit all your mortal possessions to the bug with too many legs!” Slapping his knee, the clown let out a full-blown cackle. “But not you, oh no, not you! In fact, that must’ve been why you caught my eye, you seemed so perfectly mundane that I subconsciously knew there was something special about you.”
Joker’s crystal-blue eyes sparkled madly as he gave Bill a far-too-interested stare.
“You’ve been stalking me?” Bill forced out, covering a gulp of fear.
“No, silly! Don’t you remember? You must’ve been coming home from the grocery store and I happened to be driving through your alley... I gave you a good scare while you were fumbling with your keys.”
The evening vaguely came back to him. “Yeah, and you damn near knocked me out with your side mirror!”
Joker laughed again and pinched Bill’s cheek. “Precisely.~ Ohwhh, lookit you...” He began cooing as Bill’s blush worsened at the touch. “I want to know more, dollface. What’s your story? Or at least, your name.”
With that Joker plopped himself down on the couch, resting his leg on his knee expectantly as Bill whipped around to face him. He puffed out his chest... “A-and if I-I don’t?” And stuttered, swearing under his breath.
“Darling, just because you’re interesting doesn’t mean you’ll entertain me for long. I could always use you to get Batman’s attention instead.” A very real danger suddenly weighed upon the room, much more apparent than before. “Sit.”
Bill swallowed again and sat on the far end of the couch. “My name’s Hannibal Feather, but eh, everyone calls me Bill.”
Joker offered the hand Bill had bandaged with another sickening grin. “A pleasure to officially make your acquaintance, Bill.”
He hesitated for a moment, then shook Joker’s hand. He knew by doing this he had sealed his fate. This would not be the last time he spoke to this terrifying man.
#q'd#self shipping#self shipping community#self ship au#self insert#self insert x canon#self x canon#self insert oc#oc x canon#circus scripts#🃏A Joker and His Ace🃏#🌆🪴.s/i [Civilian AU]
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I'm here for a blind date I'm genderfluid (afab if you're wondering. I apparently give off Boy Vibes™)
I love dinosaurs (some of my favorites include Archaeopteryx, Australovenator, and Baryonyx, Minmi, Oviraptor, and Yi qi) comic books (mostly Suicide Squad but you already know that by now), and I'm trying to get into cars because I want to be an automechanic, since my grades weren't good enough for paleontology and I suck at art. College wasn't right for me and being an automechanic is probably like... A trade school thing, right? I also like Transformers. I got a mullet at one point, but it grew out a bit lol. I'm kinda clumsy, which is pretty evident since my glasses keep breaking lol. Not like I can afford new ones so I guess I'm using duck tape and super glue to keep the frames in... 2 pieces I guess. I guess it's just duck tape keeping the ear things on. I really got into old monster movies in Middle School because of a book called the encyclopedia of monsters. From like... The really old ones like The Blob That Ate Everything to the ones from to the slightly more recent ones but they're still decades old, like the Alien Franchise. Not too big of a fan of regular (?) horror movies. Technically I haven't seen most of the alien movies, but I really liked Alien VS Predator so I think that counts enough. I know I've already told you this but I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole of wilderness survival and eventually wound up finding a channel about boomerangs and the occasional Australian wildlife video (there's one titled Kangaroo Maggots. He finds a kangaroo corpse at the side of the road and maggots are inside of it. Really fucking gross. 0/10. Do not recommend if you hate maggots. Don't know why I watched that specific video honestly, but all the rest are good). Which lead me to another channel about Australian animals. I'm American and idk how tf I got from how to cook a cactus to watching a video on dingoes. I play a lot of simulator games. Like... If you look at my steam library it's like... 99% simulator games, the Batman: Arkham Series, and then a hunting game for some reason. And even then I think that's a hunting simulator come to think about it. Don't know why I like Simulator Games, I just do. Wait... Does the Arkham series count as simulator games? Like... Are they technically Batman simulators. I love reptiles and rats, but I fucking hate spiders. Need an Australian Man™ to help me if a spider is near lol. You know wow I'm talking about here I tend to get overexcited when myself or others are talking about stuff I'm interested in. I go on long tangents about stuff I like. I'm kind of a nerd when it comes to my semi-niche interests. I do enjoy listening to people go on their own tangents about things they like too though.
It's also quite apparent I have a thing for weird and/or disgusting fictional men ( my taste in women is better I swear. (Will fall for any tall woman who even looks in my direction. Which isn't saying much cuz I'm 4'10¾") )
💜 blind date 💜
the kitchen is now closed!
🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block)
a/n: hi please come in and distract this idiot, quickly, quicker, HURRY 💚
"Hi, uh-huh, welcome to the Vill-Inn. Can I just... sit you down as quickly as possible? If your date asks any of us if we want to see his big, curvy weapon one more time, we are going to escort him from the premises. Good luck!"
The moment you sit down at your table, after being rushed over by the waitstaff, you're met with a wide and mischievous grin, a signature smile from a man you recognise.
"I go by many names. Captain Boomerang, George, Digger. But you can call me daddy, if you like."
You screw your face up a bit, trying to pretend like that line didn't get you, and he's quick to try and win you over.
"I'm joking, love! Lighten up, it's a blind date, it's supposed to be fun!"
At least he's quick to... not apologise for his jokes, but to try and recover from them. And he's also surprisingly interested in you, and in getting to know you. Although, you fear it's just so he can make more risque jokes.
"Ah, mechanics. So... you're good with your hands then? You wear one of them little overall things? With anything underneath?"
The loud laugh he lets out at the end of his remarks are so endearing though, they make his lewd comments almost charming. Which you're unsurprised by, given your specific taste in men. He's perfectly strange and definitely a little bit gross, just how you like them.
He comments on your glasses, mentioning that you seem like someone who is a creative problem solver. A comment that feels like a proper compliment, not just a segue into another flirtatious remark. And it feels like he's dialing down on that the more he gets to know you. he talks to you about horror films for twenty minutes without saying anything lewd or crude. It's almost like it's a defense mechanism he uses to keep a distance, to maintain his facade.
In fact, he barely says anything at all when you're telling him about your preference for classic horror, and what video games you're interested in. Almost like he's enjoying learning about you. Almost like he can forego his usual ridiculously brazen behaviour around you. And you're more than happy to return the favour when he gets excited about boomerangs. Your fault for mentioning them.
"Yeah, you can learn a lot from a video online about surviving in the outback, but if you're ever looking for private tutoring, I'm your man."
He winks with this statement, but you can tell there's sincerity behind the offer. The fact that you're willing to listen politely, and that you seem interested in him when he's talking about subjects that are so personal to him, makes him feel very at home around you. And you're warming up to him, to the point where you can make some jokes too. I mean, no harm in joking about inviting him round to your place to get rid of some scary spiders, since he's Australian Outback Extroardinaire.
"Listen, for you, I can let myself be more of a hero than anti-hero for a change. Show me the little buggers and I'll have your house spider free in no time."
He winks again, and you're so fond of it that you can't help but imagine a life of being winked at across tables. A strange, happily ever after.
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