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wolfmoonmusic · 1 year

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hiiii!!! can u do a valentine’s day angsty post where james and y/n are in a secret relationship because she’s a hufflepuff but he flirts with lily and gets her flowers on valentines so he doesn’t cause suspicion u get upset and cry and break up with him and he tries to win u back but remus gets u flowers and kinda helps u get over james??🤭🤭🤭 if u don’t wanna do this it’s totally okay!! love ur work<3

Secrecy:

A/N: This was so painful to write. But, it was also super fun.

Summary: You love James Potter and would do anything for him, including keeping your relationship an absolute secret. However, he may not feel the same.

Pairing: James Potter x Hufflepuff!reader, Remus Lupin x Hufflepuff!reader

w/c: 3600+

Masterlist

Taglist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <3

The room of requirements had a lot of uses.

“Jamie, stop it!” you giggled as your boyfriend peppered your face with kisses. He pulled away grinning, “What? I’ve missed you!”

You shook your head, a sad smile taking over the grin you’d had before. “You wouldn’t have to miss me, if people knew about us,” you said, your hands fixing his hair, and adjusting his glasses. “If at least your friends knew,” you added, now fixing your own robes.

James closed his eyes, tilting his head back. “We’ve talked about this n/n,” he whined, cupping your face. His eyes searched yours, “I-I’ve told you, they can’t know.”

You shook your head, “You’ve never told me why, James.” You pulled his hands away from your face, bending down to pick up your bag, the next period would start soon. You tried to ignore how your chest tightened.

When James didn’t respond, bending down to pick his own bag up, you sighed. Everytime over the past few months that you’d had this conversation, it ended the same way. Sometimes, you wondered, if he was embarrassed of you, but it made no sense, because all of his friends loved hanging out with you.

Or so you thought. You weren’t sure of anything anymore.

“I-I just need you to trust me,” he said softly, adjusting his bag straps. You just stared at him blankly. It was scary how used to this you were by now.

“Right,” you whispered, before stepping past him and leaving.

He didn’t follow you. He never did.

When James had first told you he liked you, he’d also mentioned a need to keep it private. You’d wholeheartedly agreed at first, maybe he just didn’t want his friends all over the two of you. However, that didn’t make sense either. Sirius had openly teased the both of you on some occasions, when James had one too many drinks, and got a little too touchy around you.

Of course, it happened only when he was drunk.

As days turned into weeks, you started wondering if he ever planned on telling at least his friends. He never got too close to you whenever you were around them. In fact, he’d barely even look at you. It was Remus who was always around you, talking and making you laugh.

If James hadn’t asked you out first, Remus might’ve been the one you were with.

He always made you feel wanted. In a way James never had.

The worst part was that Valentine’s Day was tomorrow. And James hadn’t even brought it up. Even when you’d asked him, he’d just shrugged and said “I’ll come up with something.”

You definitely didn’t miss the way his friends kept pushing him towards Lily Evans. Or how he seemed to be subtly flirting with her, every time you looked at him when you were in public.

At first you would cry in your dorm room, unable to tell anyone about how you felt, because no matter how much you hated it, you still felt obliged to keep it a secret. Over time, you learnt to shrug it off, allowing the pain to grow in your chest. You didn’t know what it was like to go through a day without that crushing sensation.

Sometimes you wished you weren’t that nice.

As you entered class, you weren’t expecting Remus to excitedly wave you over, Sirius turning away from his friend to smile at you as well.

You couldn’t even avoid them, it’d seem suspicious. You plastered on a fake smile, making your way over to the boys.

“Hey Y/N,” they both chorused.

“Hello,” you responded, settling down next to Remus. He held out a chocolate in the palm of his hand, and you gladly accepted, muttering a simple thanks.

This is what it was like to be around Remus. It wasn’t the constant fear of someone finding out. It didn’t come with the thoughts swarming in your head.

Your eyes found James walking into class, hesitating, for just a moment when he saw you, before his face returned to normal and he took a seat beside Sirius.

Of course, he didn’t give you a second glance.

Class started, causing you to shift your focus on your professor. You hated how routine it had all become.

How unaffected you were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you were walking back to your dorm, you felt someone grab your hand, pulling you behind a wall.

“Y/N, don’t be mad,” James whispered. You stared at him blankly, before sighing softly. “How long?” you asked, staring directly into his eyes, hoping that you could decipher what was going on. He gulped, looking away for a minute, before his eyes landed on you again. “I-I don’t know,” he said, immediately looking down at his shoes.

You tried to blink away the gathering tears, nodding. “Look, James, I like being your girlfriend. But, I hate being your secret,” you said. His eyes snapped up to meet yours, full of panic. “You’re not my secret,” he said firmly, his eyes filled with confidence. You almost believed him.

Almost.

You scoffed. “Right because this,” you said, gesturing to your hiding spot, “doesn’t indicate that you’re hiding me.”

“No, no I-” he sighed frustratedly, a hand running through his hair.

“I’ll see you in the Gryffindor common room in the evening. I’m studying with Remus. You,” you jabbed a finger at his chest, “can ignore me as usual.”

With that, you left, unable to hold the onslaught of tears any longer. As the hot tears streamed down your face, you started running, picking up more speed as the feeling in your chest grew. You didn’t care that people were staring. You didn’t care that you could get into trouble. You just needed to get away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You didn’t go to class. You didn’t go to lunch. You sat in your room all day pondering your situation. It hurt you to think about it. You’d been so happy in the beginning, an amazing boyfriend, good friends, you had it all. But slowly, your sudden disappearances had increased, and you couldn’t explain it to your friends. You’d even missed your roommate's cake cutting on her birthday because you’d run off to find James.

They barely even talked to you now.

You sniffled, hearing voices as your roommates piled in, barely acknowledging you. You watched as they walked right past you, only one of them, Rose, the one who’s birthday you missed, paused to give you a sad smile, before joining the others in their discussion.

You couldn’t handle the pain anymore. It enveloped you completely, the numbness taking over. You quietly got up, leaving the room. Anywhere was better than here.

As you got to your common room, you realized all the classes were over for the day. Your eyes scanned the room, as you tried to ignore the fact that you were supposed to be with Remus now. You didn’t want to go. James would be there.

But, you’d promised Remus yesterday.

You sighed, deciding you had to go, leaving the common room, with no one to stop you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The second you entered the common room, Remus called you over. Unfortunately, he was sitting with his friends. Including your boyfriend.

You walked over, ignoring the way James watched you, eyes trained on Remus. “Hi Remmy,” you said softly, taking a seat next to him. “Hello love. Are you alright? You weren’t in Defense Against the Dark Arts today,” he asked, brows furrowed together in concern.

Did James even realize?

You nodded quietly, “Just needed to get away from everything for a while y’know?”

Remus nodded, understanding taking over his features.

“You don’t have your books,” Sirius pointed out.

You froze, you’d been so worked up that you hadn’t even realized.

“I - uh”

“ ‘S alright love, we can share,” Remus interrupted, passing his book over to you.

You smiled gratefully, “Thanks Moony.”

You knew James was watching you, but you didn’t look at him. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. It hurt too much.

“Oh! I heard someone’s secret relationship was found out!” Sirius suddenly exclaimed.

You couldn’t process what he’d just said. Did he - did he know?

“Who?” you heard James ask. Your eyes snapped to him, but he was looking at Sirius, face seeming amused.

Was he not worried? Or did he not care? Or…was he so sure that it wasn’t about you two?

However Sirius just shrugged, “Don’t know, don’t care,” he pointed at the three of you, “however I think whoever it was is an absolute coward.”

Remus looked up from his book, “Coward?”

Sirius hummed in response. “You like someone enough to date them, why would you keep it quiet?” he asked, now looking at you, “If you’re not embarrassed or if it’s not forbidden love or something right n/n?” You were caught off guard by the question.

The way he looked at you made you feel as if he knew more than he was letting on.

“I uh-. Yeah, yeah, why would you?” you asked in response, looking at James. At this point, you didn’t care if someone suspected something. You wanted an answer.

James’s eyes widened in shock. “I-”

The three of you were looking at him now. “You shouldn’t. Not if you care about the person enough,” he muttered, looking at everyone but you.

You didn’t stop the tears from flowing. “I- I have to go,” you whispered, before running out.

Did he not care enough then? If that was just a response, framed to keep people from guessing, how far was he willing to go to keep this a secret?

You ran all the way to your dorm room, ignoring the way your roommates were looking at you with concern, before jumping on the bed, hiding your face in the pillow, and sobbing.

None of them came to ask you what was wrong. Of course they didn’t. You hadn’t been there for them, constantly putting James first.

The James that always seemed to put you last.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up in the morning, eyes puffy and head hurting. You hadn’t even changed into your pajamas. You groaned, sitting up slowly, eyes closed, as the events of the day before, flooded into your head.

“Hi.”

You opened your eyes, finding Rose sitting on your bed, a soft smile on her face.

“Hi?” you said, shocked that she was even talking to you.

“You came in, a mess last night,” she laughed lightly.

You could feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment . She moved closer to you, placing a hand on your knee. “What’s going on?” she asked, voice filled with concern.

You were surprised that she’d even asked. “I missed your birthday?” you asked in response, unable to form an actual sentence.

She laughed again, “I know you Y/N. You wouldn’t have done that unless something was going on.”

You felt your eyes water again. “You really want to know?” you asked, your voice shaking. She simply nodded, waiting for you to continue.

You hesitated, unsure if you should tell her, but as the pain in your chest continued to grow with every second, you realized you needed to let it out.

So you did.

You told her everything. From the very beginning, to the conversation you’d had yesterday.

The second you’d finished, she engulfed you in a hug. “Oh n/n, you don’t deserve that,” she said, pulling away.

“But I mean, what I don't get is, why?” you whispered.

“I don’t know love, but you have to tell him,” she said sternly.

“Tell him what?” you asked, afraid of what she was going to say.

“That if he wants to stay with you, he should be willing to be open about it. Not PDA level but you know what I mean,” she said, taking your hands in hers.

You nodded. She was right. Absolutely right.

You had to tell him now. Why not? It was Valentine’s? It was perfect.

“I’ll tell him right now,” you said, getting off the bed.

Rose gripped your hand. “Not like this you’re not,” she told you, looking you up and down.

You laughed in embarrassment, “Right.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rose had helped you get ready, even helping you out with a bit of makeup.

So now, as you sped across the halls, you were feeling confident. You were sure you mattered to him, so you didn’t worry too much about the conversation you were about to have. You were feeling good.

But then you heard the name Potter coming out of a certain redhead’s mouth. You came to a halt, turning to look at the scene behind you.

Lily Evans was holding a bouquet in her hands, blushing profusely.

“I can’t believe he actually knows what flowers you like!” her friend exclaimed.

Lily nodded, “He might be a prick sometimes, but he really is good at this.”

Your heart dropped.

It can’t be.

You walked over to her clearing your throat. “Um, Lily?” you called, causing the girl to turn to you.

“Oh hey Y/N!” she smiled warmly. You returned it with a weak smile of your own, “I was just wondering,” you said shakily, pointing to the flowers, “who gave you those?”

She grinned, “James Potter. As thick headed as he is, he’s also a sweetheart.”

You felt like you’d been kicked in the stomach, the color draining from your face.

“You alright?” she asked, noticing the way your hands were shaking.

You nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah of course. Have a nice day,” you said, quickly turning around and bolting.

You had someone to go meet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“James!” you yelled, barging into the Gryffindor common room. Sirius, Peter and Remus, and James all turned to look at you. Luckily there was no one else there.

Though, to be honest, you wouldn’t have cared.

You were tired of hiding.

“You gave Lily flowers?” you said, walking up to your boyfriend.

He stood up, eyes wide.

“Of course he did! Are you oblivious to how he’s head over heels for her?” Sirius interjected, confused as to why you were so angry.

You ignored him, eyes trained on your boyfriend.

“I-”

“Well? Did you? Or is she lying to me?” you asked, your eyes watering.

“Y/N”

“I swear to god James if you try to hide this even now, I will not hesitate to slap you.”

You could see how panicked James was. But you didn’t care. You were hurt beyond repair.

He closed his eyes, cursing under his breath.

“I did,” he whispered.

Hot tears streamed down your face.

“But I swear,” he said, opening his eyes, “ I only did it to keep people off of us.” He tried to reach for your hand, but you pushed him away.

“Why?” you sobbed. Your chest felt like it was being crushed. Your heart, breaking into tinier pieces by the minute.

James huffed. “Because,” he started throwing his hands up in the air, “Because you’re a Hufflepuff!” he yelled.

You staggered back, the shock of the revelation came like a blow.

“What?” you whispered.

“Mate, what’s going on?” Remus asked, walking over to stand next to you.

James just shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

“Love,” Remus turned to you, a gentle hand on your shoulder, “what’s going on?” he asked.

Sirius stepped forward, “James fucked up, that’s what’s going on,” he supplied.

You and James looked at him in shock.

“I saw you both kissing a few days back,” he explained. “It completely threw me off, because Prongs here,” he threw an arm around James’s shoulder, “has been head over heels for Evans since first year.”

First year?

“However, he did tell us about catching feelings for you last year, though we thought it subsided because he never mentioned it again. Of course, I found out only recently that he didn’t mention it, because he was too up in his head about the whole ‘Gryffindor being a superior house’ thing,” Sirius said, making air quotes. You stared at James, not knowing how to process the information being dealt out.

“Then I saw you both snogging each other before Charms one day, and decided to bring it up. James however said you were just friends. But he wouldn’t shut up about how in love he was with Evans. Meaning one of two things,” Sirius said, moving away from James, holding out both his hands.

“One,” he said, lifting his left hand up, “James was using you to get the attention he wanted because Lily wasn’t paying him regard,” James opened his mouth to say something but Sirius cut him off, “but, James isn’t a prick. He wouldn’t do that.” Sirius said, lowering his hand. “Which could only mean,” he lifted his right hand now, “that James did in fact like you, but he couldn’t give up completely on Lily, and,” he paused, pointing to James, “he feels too superior about his house, as always.”

You blinked multiple times, trying to understand what Sirius had just said.

He’d known yesterday. And he’d been trying to warn you.

“Y/N-” James started.

“Don’t. Don’t James. Don’t open your mouth and try to explain. You’ll only make it worse,” you seethed. Your hurt had completely transformed into anger.

“We’re done. Go on and snog Lily in front of everyone, yeah? She’s in Gryffindor,” you glared at him, before storming out of the common room, ignoring his protests.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’d spent the entire day in your room. Thinking, crying, and thinking some more. You’d told Rose, and then also told her you needed some alone time.

She’d been doing a great job at keeping everyone away.

Until now that is.

You heard a soft knock on your dorm room door.

“Please, not now,” you called out, hoping the person would go away.

“I uh- It’s me, Remus,” a soft, uncertain, voice called back.

Your eyes widened and you quickly got off the bed, opening the door to your visitor.

“Remus?” you asked, surprised.

He smiled at you warmly. “Hello love, may I come in?” he asked. You nodded, stepping aside to let him. You closed the door again, watching as he gently placed his bag on the floor before sitting on your bed.

“I had to bribe Rose with 2 weeks of free chocolates,” he laughed.

For the first time in hours, you felt a smile creep up onto your face. “Aww, you did that for me?” you teased, settling down in front of him.

“I’d do anything for you,” he said, quietly.

You froze, a warmth coating your cheeks and the tips of your ears.

He sighed, “James is- He’s an idiot. To hurt you like that. It’s-” he shook his head, “It’s fucked up and not fair on you. If I was him, I’d be showing you off,” he said, reaching over to place his hand on your knee.

You felt goosebumps erupt all over you at his touch.

“Even if I’m a hufflepuff?” you smiled sadly.

“Even if you’re a Hufflepuff,” Remus nodded, before adding, “In fact, I’m happy you’re not a Gryffindor, I know too many Gryffindors,” he laughed.

You felt yourself relax at the comforting sound, a small chuckle slipping past your lips as well.

Remus bent over, searching through his bag before presenting a bouquet of (your favorite flowers).

Your jaw dropped in shock. “I- Are these for me?” you asked, reaching out slowly.

Remus nodded, “Just for you,” he said.

You pulled them close to your face, inhaling the fresh scent. “I love it, Moony, thank you,” you whispered.

Remus just stared at you, his brown eyes filled with love. For a second, he looked away, as if pondering something, before his eyes landed on his hands. You watched as played with his sweater, shrugging, before taking in a deep breath, and looking into your eyes.

“I know it might be too early, but do you think- would you maybe- I don’t know how to say it,” he sighed, looking away.

You knew what it was immediately. Did you want it? Yes, so very badly. Because you were confident that Remus would treat you right. Even Rose thought so.

He knew you better than James ever had.

“Just say it Remmy,” you said, placing the flowers next to you, before taking his hands in yours.

He looked at you, staring into your eyes. You felt your heart pick up speed, thumping loud against your ribcage.

He shook his head, looking away again, unable to keep eye contact for long.

You moved closer to him, knitting your hands together, sitting knee to knee.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend. We- We’ll have to take it slow, but I’d absolutely love to do that Remus,” you said.

He gently untangled your arms, and worry took over. Is that not what he wanted?

But then, his lips were on yours, his hands on your waist, and your head was on cloud nine.

It wasn’t rushed, he took his time, savoring every second. It wasn’t mixed with the fear of being caught. Or the pain of knowing you wouldn’t get it again for a while.

No. You couldn’t think. Your heart took over your body, as you pushed back. Every fiber of your being, lighting up with joy.

It was like your first kiss all over again.

Until, someone threw the door open, and you almost feared how Remus would react.

But he didn’t recoil, or act like nothing had happened. He just backed away, shocked, one hand still on your waist, as the other ran through his hair, eyes closed as he let out a small airy chuckle.

It was Rose. She was grinning. “I knew it!” she pumped her fist in the air.

Remus laughed, shaking his head, “Now will you leave us alone? Unless you want to watch?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

Rose’s eyes widened, and she held her hand up in defense, “No sir,” she said, before leaving, closing the door behind her, causing you to giggle.

Remus turned to you, smiling, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Promise we won’t be a secret?” You whispered.

“I promise,” he responded, pressing his lips to your forehead.

And he stuck to that promise, ‘till your heart went still.

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moonstruckme · 2 months

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i recently started following you and i absolutely love your writing! you have such great talent!

no pressure at all and feel free to scream at me if this is out of your boundaries (i read ur guidelines so it shouldn’t be but you never know). I’m curious if you could write reader with literally anyone, just in denial that they like them. like she used to go out with really shifty guys and is just appalled that this person actually likes them

(this definitely isn’t self-indulgent at all….)

Thanks for requesting baby! (I would never scream at you lmao) I did this with dealer Eddie, hope that's alright :)

cw: weed, mention of transactional sex

dealer!Eddie Munson x fem!reader ♡ 1.5k words

Eddie’s grinning big when he opens the door to his trailer. He takes off his headphones, hanging them around his neck. You can hear Black Sabbath still playing from the speakers.

“Hey.” His voice has a slightly raspy quality to it, and you wonder if he’s been singing or smoking. “You lookin’ for a fix, pretty?”

You grasp the strap of your bag self-consciously, forcing a bouncy “yep” past your lips. Eddie’s got a way of saying things that makes you feel awkward and flighty, like your heart might lurch right out of your ribcage at any moment. It should be routine by now, but you’ll probably never get over it.

Eddie only nods and opens the door further, inviting you in. He sets a hand on your back as you go by, and you try not to look as shy as the touch makes you feel.

“Same as usual?”

“Yeah, thanks.” You lean against the counter while he crosses the room to the drawer where he keeps his stash.

You’ve been coming to Eddie for years now. You weren’t exactly friends in high school but you were always friendly, and every time you leave his place you’re freshly shocked by the realization that you actually really like him. You appreciate that he keeps it business. Well, as business as anything can be with Eddie. Flirting is just part of the package, but he doesn’t try to smoke your stuff after he sells it to you and doesn’t seem to expect anything other than money in return. Shitty as it sounds, a dealer like that can be hard to come by in your experience.

“I’ve been missing you, sweet thing,” he says, taking out a big zip lock bag of bud and a smaller one to portion yours into. “Thought you might’ve found someone else to keep you happy.”

You don’t respond for a second, and Eddie’s head tilts up from where he’s picking through the bag, eyebrows going up in intrigue.

“I was seeing this guy for awhile,” you say, looking sideways out the window. “He got pre-rolls from someone else, and he’d let me have them sometimes.”

“Well shit, I can roll for you if it’ll keep you coming over.”

You look at Eddie in surprise. He grins at you, jutting his chin towards the couch.

“Sit down, I’ll get you set up.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you say.

“Gotta keep my favorite customer happy, don’t I?” You don’t move, and his smile softens into something more genuine. “It’s no problem, just sit down. Tell me about this guy. Does he treat you right?”

You follow directions, going to sit on the less saggy and dingy-looking of the couch cushions while Eddie bends over the counter across from you. “Not really,” you say indifferently. As if thinking about it doesn’t send a dull ache blooming through your middle. “We aren’t together anymore.”

Eddie glances up at you, something odd flitting across his expression. “That sucks,” he says bluntly. “I’m sorry. I mean, it sounds like he sucked, so I guess I’m not sorry that it’s over even if I’m sorry that you’re sad. Are you sad?”

A little laugh startles out of you. “Not really,” you say, and it’s halfway to honest. You’d been sad to break up with him, but Eddie is right; he sucked. You’re not really sad it’s over either.

“Good.” He nods, appeased. “Thought I’d have to go beat someone up or something.”

You snort, and Eddie’s mouth drops open in offense. He looks back down at the roll, sticking his tongue in his cheek as he shakes his head.

“Feels like you’re not taking my threat of vengeance super seriously.”

“No, I am,” you laugh. “I am, it’s just—you don’t seem like someone who wins a ton of fights.”

“Ah!” He clutches a fist over his heart, looking at you in absolute betrayal. “So little faith! I’ve fought worse monsters than your jilted beaux, okay?”

You roll your eyes. “I’m guessing it’s a little different in real life than in your game.”

Eddie pauses for a half a second, and you wonder if you’ve gone too far in your teasing, but then he bends back over the table, bringing the paper to his mouth. “Right.” He runs his tongue quickly across the roll. “Well, anyway, I have a spear in my garage if you want me to give it a try.”

You smile at the thought of Eddie jabbing his (in your imagination, plastic and nerdy) spear at your most recent ex.

“Thanks, but I think I’m good,” you say.

He shrugs. “Your loss. I’d have taken off my shirt for the battle, but I guess you’ll have to get that show another time.”

You laugh, crossing your legs as he starts on another roll. “Hey, you don’t actually have to roll all this,” you say. “I won’t stop coming to you.”

“I don’t mind it,” he replies, packing the next with easy, practiced movements. “Unless you’re in a rush or something. Do you have to go?”

“No, I’m…I’m good.” You’ve never spent this long at Eddie’s place before. It’s usually that you show up, he gives you a bag, you pay, and you leave. You’ve never taken much time to survey the trailer, the way Eddie moves around the cramped furniture with such ease or the way the windows let in just enough light to make his skin look softer and his eyes browner. “You can leave half of it, though, if that’s okay. I’ve still got a bowl at home.”

“Whatever you want.” He keeps his focus downward, ringed fingers moving carefully. “You know, I’ve actually kind of missed having you come around.”

“You said that already.” You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, smiling even though he’s not looking. “I told you I’ll keep coming back, Eddie, you don’t have to butter me up.”

His gaze flicks to you, eyebrows rising on his forehead. “I’m not,” he says.

Something about his tone has the hairs raising on the back of your neck. You keep intentionally still as a slight chill goes through you.

“I like hanging out with you.” He shrugs, looking back at his roll. “Would you want to hang out again soon?”

You hesitate. “I…don’t think I’ll be needing any more for a bit.”

“Well, ideally you wouldn’t be here to buy.”

For a second, you’re confused, and then realization and dread collide in your gut with enough force to make you nauseous. The disappointment is more potent than either of them.

“Oh.” Maybe Eddie isn’t so different from the other dealers you’ve had after all. “Um, I just feel like I’ve always paid in cash…”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow, and then his entire face contorts. “Christ—no.” He drops the finished roll, holding up his palms as if to ward you off. “Not that! Ew—I mean—” His hands go to his head. “—not ew, like you’re not ew, I just—gah.” He drops his head back, and his fingers disappear into his hair, making fists. He looks almost pained. “I like you. Like, I’m not trying to have sex with you right now. Not that sex wouldn’t be cool—we could if you wanted to—but that’s not what I’m getting at.”

He blows out a big breath, hands dropping to his knees, and looks you in the eye.

“Can we just forget about the weed for a second?” he asks, sounding nearly desperate. “I’m trying to ask you on a date. Not to get you to fuck me for drugs.” Your mouth drops open, but Eddie keeps going. “And if you don’t want to go out, that’s totally cool. Very respectable, honestly. It doesn’t have to affect anything.” He presses his lips together. “I didn’t mean to say you were ew. I’m sorry.”

You’re too shell-shocked to even laugh. You have whiplash. But now he’s looking at you with his big eyes all expectant, and you feel like you have to say something.

“A date?” you ask.

“Uh, yeah.” He leans against the counter, looking a bit awkward but somehow all the more endearing for it. “Like, to the arcade or maybe dairy queen or something—I don’t know, you can pick.”

“And you…don’t want to have sex.”

“I don’t not want to have sex,” he clarifies. “But, uh, we don’t have to at all. Like, only if you want to, and definitely not if you think it’s some sort of…” Eddie winces “...transaction.”

You nod slowly, and now there’s a smile tugging persistently at your lips. “That sounds good,” you say. “The date part.”

“Yeah?” His head picks up. “Really?”

You smile. “Yeah. Are you sure?”

“Am I sure?” Eddie guffaws. “Yeah, I’m pretty fucking sure. I’m getting a much better deal here. But no take-backs,” he says quickly, and his grin widens when you laugh. “Are you free tomorrow?”

“Um, yeah.” You think for a second, nodding. “Yeah, I’ve got nothing tomorrow.”

“Great.” Eddie presses his lips together like he’s trying to contain the full scope of his smile. He pushes his fingers into the countertop. “Okay, forget everything from today. I’m gonna be such a fucking gentleman when I pick you up tomorrow, you probably won’t even recognize me.”

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bruisedboys · 2 months

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sejanus plinth x fem!reader | sejanus is a helpless romantic, you’re totally shy under his affections, but he just can’t help himself!

implied shy!reader, coryo being a menace but in a playful way, sejanus being a tease, kissing, so much fluff!!!!

Coriolanus watches you and Sejanus with a look of mild disgust on his face.

“Ugh,” he says. “They’re gross.”

Lucy Gray laughs, up to her knees in the long, soft grass.

“Don’t be mean, Coriolanus,” she chides, digging her elbow into his ribs. “I think they’re cute.”

“Cute?” Coriolanus huffs, incredulous. “He looks like he’s about to eat her.”

Truth be told, Sejanus does look a bit like he wants to eat you. In the most romantic way possible, of course. You’re both sitting on the pier over the lake, and he’s got you in his lap, your knees caged on either side of his hips, his face so close to yours you’re almost kissing. He thumbs at your collarbone, fingers curled over your bare shoulder, hands warm on your sunkissed skin, gazing at you like you’ve been threaded with pure gold. The lake sloshes softly beneath you.

You peek over Sejanus’ shoulder, buzzing with fondness. “They’re looking at us.”

“Who?” Sejanus asks, distracted by the way you shudder under his touch. He thinks it’s sickeningly cute, how shy you are. “Coryo, huh? Don’t worry, honey. He’s just jealous.”

Honey? Heat creeps up your neck at an alarming rate. Any more of this and you’ll melt in a lovesick puddle. The pet name plays in your head over and over like a broken record. Honey, honey, honey.

“Jealous?” You ask breathlessly. You can’t seem to think straight when he’s got you this close. His hands on your skin, his thighs firm under yours. You glance over his shoulder again, self conscious.

“Mhm.” Sejanus brings a hand to your jaw and tilts your head in his direction with two fingers, forcing your gaze away from your friends. “‘Cause you’re so pretty,” he explains, voice like melted sugar. “And I’ve got you all to myself.”

You fear you’ll go up in flames. You hide your burning face by dropping it to his shoulder, shy and so so in love with him. Sejanus laughs softly, soaked through in fondness, and rubs your back with a big warm hand. Your spaghetti strap top means his palm graces a slice of exposed skin at the top of your back, and pleasured goosebumps erupt in his wake.

“I’m sorry, that was a bit much, wasn’t it?” He murmurs, his mouth ghosting your ear, so close he’s almost kissing it. He sweeps his hand up your back and then down again. “C’mon, come back out. I want to look at you.”

He pulls back slightly and gets a hand under your chin to encourage you up. You’re putty in his hands, surprising yourself at how quickly you oblige, how quick you are to do what he wants. He waits patiently for you to meet his gaze and once you do, you find your own feelings of overbearing fondness reflected back at you. His pretty eyes are pools of love, the honey sun painting them the colour of browned butter. You like him so much you could suffocate in it.

Sejanus grins at you, cheeks dimpling. He tucks some of your hair behind your ear.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks softly. His hand lingers at your throat.

“Yeah,” you nod, breathless and much too eager but you can’t bring yourself to care. “You don’t have to ask, Sej.”

Sejanus hums before capturing your mouth in a swift kiss. You breathe him in and curl your hand around his neck, breathing in his scent of pine and firewood, something sweeter, like caramel. Your fingers brush over the short hair at the nape of his neck. He’s told you he used to have curly hair, and as much as you like imagining him with his curls, you like his buzzed hair just as much. He’s so handsome he doesn’t need curls, anyway.

Sejanus brings his hand to your waist and tugs you closer, desperate and greedy but never rough. You go happily, kissing him back with as much earnest as you can manage, pushing up onto your knees in your desperation to be closer still. You get lost, forget where you are, like you tend to do when you’re with Sejanus.

Meanwhile, Coriolanus is fake gagging into the grass.

“You agree that’s a bit excessive, right?” He asks Lucy Gray.

Lucy Gray just rolls her eyes. “You’re dramatic. They’re in love.”

Coryo scoffs. “Couldn’t they be in love somewhere else?”

Lucy Gray watches as you pull away from Sejanus and start giggling like a lovesick fool, while he tries to coax you back into another kiss.

No, she thinks. Not gonna happen.

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uplatterme · 1 year

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—smut visuals/twt links with genshin impact characters ✨✨

cw: sub!characters, dom!reader, toys, bondage, choking, strap on, overstim, blindfold, cum eating, male!reader/fem!reader/gender-neutral reader :D

a/n: i’ve never posted something like this but if this does well i’ll make another one

Jean

—after finally convincing jean to take a break, you take all control and make sure to get rid of any thoughts she has of work.

—jean could do nothing but accept the pleasure while you hold a vibrator up to her pussy. she grasps your arms, your thighs, anywhere, as she tries to hold it in as much as she could, feeling embarrassed that she’s acting this way. especially when your hand is choking her neck. but instead of hating it, she falls deep into pleasure senselessly, whimpering and moaning while her legs tremble as she cums.

Itto

—getting tired of how much the oni is all bark and no bite, you assert dominance in bed, milking him while all he can do is flail around, unable to break free from how you’d tied him up.

—even after he’d cum countlessly from your hands, you keep pushing him beyond his limit. his thighs hurting from how much they’d been trembling from pleasure. still, he keeps screaming and moaning each time to the point you’re sure everyone in the village can hear the begging of the oni.

Kokomi

—with the little time kokomi has for breaks, you take it as your job to make her cum as quick as you could, be it anywhere at anytime.

—you pound kokomi rough and fast in the bathroom next to the venue where she’s supposed to be holding a meeting. kokomi’s legs shake together, trying her best to remain standing still as you quicken your pace more. you hold her down, pumping her up as you only had a few minutes to spend together.

Pantalone

—pantalone’s addicted how you treat him like no other. it’s the way you treat him like your bitch, fucking him with plastic cock so deep into his walls, making sure you remember its shape.

—and once he gets used to it, you switch it up with another. either a smaller one that makes him like begging mess for you to return to what you use normally or a bigger one that makes him choke on his own sobs while you call him a good boy when you force him to eat his own cum dripping on his stomach while you fuck him into another release.

#sub genshin impact #dom reader #dom!reader #sub genshin #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #sub jean #sub!jean #sub kokomi #sub!kokomi #sub itto #sub!itto #sub pantalone #sub!pantalone #sub!genshin #smut visuals #blake drabbles

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mxlktxa · 10 months

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ʜᴇᴀᴅʟɪɴᴇꜱ

ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɴ!ᴀᴜ

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴄᴇʟᴇʙ!ᴇʟʟɪᴇ ᴡɪʟʟɪᴀᴍꜱ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ; ᴇʟʟɪᴇ ᴡɪʟʟɪᴀᴍꜱ*, ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴠɪᴇᴡᴇʀꜱ

ᴄᴡ; ɪɴᴠᴀꜱɪᴠᴇ Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ, ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ꜱᴛʀᴀᴘ-ᴏɴ ᴜꜱᴇ (ʀ ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠɪɴɢ), ᴛᴇᴀꜱɪɴɢ/ᴘʀᴀɪꜱɪɴɢ, ɴɪᴄᴋɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ/ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ

ᴡᴄ; 1.1ᴋ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ, 6.0ᴋ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ

‘Famous singer/songwriter and artist, Ellie Williams seen with famous actress and singer/songwriter Y/N’

‘Songwriter Ellie Williams, leaving the studio with Y/N? Is this the internet's new favorite couple?’

“So, as you know, we’ve seen some things about you and Y/N. Is there anything you’d like to share about the two of you with your fans?”

“I wish there was something to share. We’re just good friends. I’m just trying to see if I actually want to get into the acting industry. She’s my—, like… I don’t know, she’s my decoy. My practice, if you wanna put it like that.”

“Look, we know this isn’t a very appropriate question and it’s been asked a lot. Y’all are fuckin’?”

“Who?”

“C’mon, Ellie! You and Y/N, of course! We gotta know. Give us the scoop, man.”

“Jesus, no. I’ve got my eyes set on somebody else anyways, she’s just a good friend.”

“You two, Y/N and you, have been spotted together a whole bunch lately. Is there any reason or coincidence to it?”

“I mean, no. Other than just she brings me with her to check out what the acting industry is really like. It’s… It’s crazy, honestly. Props to her for having the courage for that, she’s a fucking… She’s super fucking strong.”

Blah, blah, fucking-blah. I hated all these stupid fucking articles and interviews with the same dumbass questions. Why did people have to know my relationship status with someone else? Why did they care so much? Why is it a problem for people who don’t know either of us? Just let us live our fucking lives, good-fucking-god. Can I just live my life the way that I want to without being harassed about my love life?

Y/N and I had met at an award ceremony, both fairly new to the respective careers we had gotten ourselves into. We were both assigned to open the show and also seated next to each other. She's such a lovely girl, super chill and respectful. She also minds her business when she's supposed to and never bothers anyone. But her fanbase? I don't know how or why she deals with any of the men she's attracted, but good on her.

I couldn't even be mad at the people asking such invasive questions because here I was, in a hotel room with her, burying my strap deep into her, face contorting into such a wonderful face that I needed to be engraved into my mind. She was so sweet and delicate, a wonderful view to just gaze upon. She sat on my lap as I used my hands to guide her hips down and push my hips up into her. The drool slipping from her lips, hanging from the corner let me know just how much she was really enjoying our time together.

"Fuck, Ellie, I can't do this anymore, I can't take it," a rich whimper came from the gorgeous figure above me, hands gripping onto my shoulders like crazy. A smirk grazed my face as her teary eyes came to meet mine, begging for us to come to an end. I couldn't help but lift her ever-so-slightly so she would offer me yet another cry from those beautiful lips of hers.

I couldn't respond to her. No way, no how. I tilted my head to glance down at the mess she was making on my lap, chuckling at how crazy it was. One hand slid up to her slightly parted lips, thumb slipping in to press down on her tongue. Those lovely moans were now muffled, hips grinding on mine to create that friction she had loved so dearly, starting to now shake at the euphoric sensation she had been receiving for the past hour and a half.

"Oh, but you're taking me so well, princess. How many times have you finished, hm? It's a fucking disaster down there, y'know."

As much as she wanted to respond to me, we both knew she couldn't. She was sucking on my thumb at this point, those delicious sobs still detectable. Chuckling at her attempts, my arms wrapped around her waist as I shoved my face into her chest to lick from her sternum to just below her neck while my thumb had left her oral cavity.

"You're so cruel, Els."

"I'm cruel? You really think so?"

"Mhm. I can't take this. It's too much, I'm so shaky."

She was not kidding about that. She was shaking like a little chihuahua, holding onto me for dear life. I hummed at her situation, peeling away so sluggishly.

"My sweet girl," I whispered, "I'll let you lay down next time. I promise."

"You said that last time and had me against a wall for a full forty-five minutes."

"You looked so angelic. What was I supposed to do? Give you what you want?"

"Yes!" She pouted, though there was a slight smile in that pout she gave me. I shook my head at her, helping her up from my lap as she tried not to fall over and eat shit. I should really give her a break but... She's all good. I know she is.

“I wish we didn’t have to hide this shit anymore,” her face rose up only to hide in the crook of my neck, sighing softly as she ran her hands up and down my arm, “if only people could mind their own fucking business.”

“We could always just say fuck it and go public. I don’t care anymore, they already know.”

Y/N’s eyes popped up, all wide and happy, a lovely smile taking over the pout I knew she had set up just seconds ago. I nodded to her, sitting her in the chair I was in, grabbing her a damp rag and her clothes that had been dumped on the bed.

“But that’s only if you’re willing to answer some questions people ask.”

“I don’t care. As long as you’re okay with it then I am too.”

Shrugging, I cleaned her up, taking my time when I came to run the rag over her still hardened nipples and her cunt which still was glistening in the dim lights. Her chuckle brought me back to looking at her, speeding up the process before kissing her forehead.

“So,” I chuckled, “that song we recorded is getting released at midnight and you are going on tour with me. You think that’s enough confirmation from the both of us?”

“Oh definitely. If they need more, sucks to be them.”

“Okay, fair enough.”

“What are we gonna do? Put out a sex tape?”

“I mean…” I smirked softly, glancing at our phones on the bed, “we—,”

“Shut up, Ellie,” a giggle cut me off while her hand beckoned me over, “you get an hour and a half. Go crazy,” her legs spread open, the heaven’s calling my name as I stared down at her glistening core.

“You know me so well.”

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corroded-hellfire · 1 year

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Mommy Issues - Eddie Munson x Reader

Note: I think this may be the first time I’ve ever used this term in a nonsexual way? But anyway. When I started to think about what happened to Eddie’s mom, this is what my brain came up with.

Summary: Eddie’s mother shows up unexpectedly and turns a lazy day on it’s head.

Warnings: talk of parental abandonment, abandonment issues, mentions of domestic abuse, language, i think that’s it?

Words: 3.9k

“Oh God, another one?”

Eddie laughs off your complaint and presses a kiss to the side of your head. You sigh into his neck and scoot in even tighter to his side.

“Baby, you know we can’t just stop with one movie. And you like Star Wars!” Eddie says.

You pull your head back to look up at him with a pout. “Yeah, I do, but they’re really long! And it’s such a nice day outside. Why do we have to stay cooped up on the couch all day?”

“Oh, so you don’t like being all pressed up next to me?” he asks, raising his eyebrows at you. You were a cuddle-aholic, and though he loves it just as much as you do, you seem to be the one who gets teased for it.

“I can press up against you outside, you know,” you say.

“Do tell,” Eddie says with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Let’s go to the park,” you say, avoiding his attempt at salacious talk. “Or just drive around with the windows down. We can come back when it’s dark and watch the movie. Let’s enjoy the sun!”

Eddie could never deny you anything, so he knew from the first second that he’d be grabbing the keys to his van. He pretends to deliberate for a minute, wanting to leave you squirming next to him.

“Okay. We can grab some food on the way to the park, too. I’m starving,” he finally says.

“When are you not?” You smirk and pinch his tiny waist.

He tackles you down onto the couch, holding your hands down at your sides as he assaults your face with loud, smacking kisses. You laugh fiercely underneath him and squirm, which just eggs him on further.

“Eddie!” you whine out through a laugh.

Eddie releases you and climbs off the couch. You take a moment to catch your breath before sitting up.

“You’re getting off easy. You’re lucky I have to pee before we go,” he says

You snort a laugh at him as he walks down the hallway. Just as Eddie steps into the bathroom, the doorbell rings. It’s rare that Wayne or Eddie get any visitors that aren’t you, so your brow is scrunched in curiosity as you stand up.

Tiptoeing for no particular reason than you don’t want this stranger to hear your footsteps, you move closer to the window that’s closest to the front door. You crane your neck to peek out and see a woman standing on the porch. She’s wearing a white floral short sleeve sweater and a plumb-colored skirt that reaches her knees. You can’t see her face because it’s covered by a curtain of dirty blond hair. The woman is holding the strap of her purse in both hands, rubbing them back and forth over the handle like a nervous twitch.

“Eddie,” you whisper yell down the hallway. “There’s a woman at your door.”

“Okay?” he answers. “Gonna open it?”

“Should I?”

His laugh is heard through the bathroom door. “It is the courteous thing to do when someone rings the bell.”

You huff at him under your breath and take the few steps to the front door. When you pull the door open, the woman’s facial expression changes from nervousness to smiling to try and hide the nervousness. Immediately you know she can’t be a good poker player.

“Hi, can I help you?” you ask.

She has a round face with a sweet smile. It’s her eyes, though. When you look into her large dark chocolate eyes you know exactly who she is.

“Um, yes, hi,” the woman starts. “I was just wondering…do Wayne or Eddie still live here?”

“Yeah,” you tell her. Your brain is already trying to piece out how this is going to go. Your defenses are already up, and protective mode has been activated. “They live here. Why?”

“Oh, I, uh,” she stutters. She looks down at the beige flats she’s wearing on her feet before meeting your eyes again. “I’m looking for either of them. Are they home?”

Behind you, you can hear Eddie’s footsteps coming down the hall. Your hand on the doorknob grips it tighter, and your free hand reaches behind you, blindly asking for Eddie to take it as he comes closer.

“Babe?” He walks up to you and slips his hand in yours, your body and his angle keeping him from seeing who’s outside. “Who was at the door, babe?”

“Yeah,” you tell the woman through a clenched jaw. You know it’s not your place to keep them apart, but for the sake of your boyfriend’s emotions, you really want to. “Eddie’s home.”

The woman takes a deep breath at this new information, and you feel Eddie creeping in closer behind you. His hand brushes your waist, and you know he’s going to see her any moment.

“Babe?” he asks again and leans down to press his lips to your shoulder. His eyes gaze past you and lock with the eyes of the woman on the porch. At his sudden silence, you know you were right. You peek at him over your shoulder and see a stunned Eddie. His face is colored in shock as he moves to step around you, facing the woman fully.

“Mom?”

The word sounds so small falling from his lips. Of course you’d heard him say the word before, but never in that saccharine way. The word didn’t even hold that much emotion the first time he told you about his mom leaving.

“Hi, sweetie,” she says.

At the use of the endearment, your anger rises. What right does she have to use that term with him? Didn’t she waive that away when she left him at the age of six? The way her eyes tear up makes you think you should probably be a little more empathetic, but the way Eddie’s face has somehow become as open and innocent as a child’s shuts down any start of warm feelings towards the woman.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie asks. His eyes are focused on his mother, but his hand slips back into yours and you take the responsibility of being his anchor in this moment very seriously. You give his hand a light squeeze and he does the same in return.

“I came to see you.” She makes it sound like it’s the most casual thing in the world. As if she’d only come to see her son after a semester away at college, and not a decade and a half after abandoning him.

“How’d you know where to find me?” Eddie asks.

His mother shrugs and lets her eyes run over the exterior of the trailer. “Wayne’s always lived here. I figured it would be the best place to start.”

You hear the breath leave Eddie’s lungs and you’re curious if your mind is on the same track as his. So, she knew his dad had gone to jail and he was being raised by Wayne. And she still never reached out.

“Um, come in, I guess.” Eddie doesn’t sound sure as he backs away from the door. You don’t realize you haven’t made an attempt to move out of her way when Eddie gently tugs your hand so you step back towards him. Internally, you’re screaming at this woman to turn around and leave. But this is Eddie’s decision to make.

She steps inside, hands still moving nervously over the strap of her purse. Reluctantly, you close the door behind her. Eddie motions her over to the couch and she takes a seat, tucking one ankle under the other.

“This is y/n,” Eddie says, as if it just occurred to him that you two had never met. “My girlfriend.”

She nods her head at you and gives you the smallest of smiles. “Hello.”

“Hi,” you respond tersely.

Eddie knows you well enough to know that tone of your voice. He brings you along with him over to the barstools across from the couch and holds you against his side as he perches on one.

“I take it that you’ve heard about me,” his mother says, eyes looking down to her lap.

It feels odd that she’s talking to you instead of her son. You don’t know how to respond so you just give her a nod of the head, which you’re not sure she sees since she’s not looking your way. She must know that anything you’ve heard about her can’t be good. Sure, Eddie told you that she was beautiful and used to sing him to sleep. He’d told you that she liked to take him on walks in the fall and he would always jump in big piles of leaves, which would make her laugh. But any of the kind things he told you were severely overshadowed by her leaving. By not even saying goodbye, just slipping out in the night, leaving a poor young boy to wonder where his mom was when he woke up the next day. To leave him alone with no reason, to think that maybe he did something to make his mommy want to leave.

“Why now?” Eddie asks. “Why come find me now?”

After a deep breath, she looks up to meet Eddie’s eyes. “I’ve wanted to for years. This is just the first time I’ve had the nerve to follow through.”

Eddie lets out a sigh and you can only imagine the questions that are circling his mind. He must be so overwhelmed and all you want to do is pull him into your arms and hug him tight, though it’s far from the appropriate time to do so. You settle for reaching over with your free hand to hold his securely in both of yours.

“How’d you know I was living with Wayne?”

A look of pain crosses his mother’s face, and she furrows her brow. “I heard about Dave- your dad,” she corrects herself. It sounds odd in her voice, as out of practice as she is at referring to her ex-husband as “your dad” to someone. “I knew you would be living with Way-.”

“How’d you know?” Eddie licks over his lips. “How did you know Dad went to prison?”

“Lawyers,” she answers quietly. “We were in the middle of negotiating the terms of our divorce when he was arrested.”

He sighs again and rubs his empty hand across his forehead. His mood has moved from shock and is now turning into anger. You run your thumb over the back of his hand and his shoulders relax a fraction.

“Okay.” Eddie lets out a humorless laugh and drops his hand back to his lap. “I have about twenty other questions but I’m just going to skip to the big one. Why?”

Such a simple question, just one word. But the answer held so much. It had probably run through Eddie’s mind his whole life. He had probably thought of every possible answer to that question, from his mom having to leave because she’s secretly a superhero, all the way to just not wanting to be his mom anymore. You can practically feel Eddie’s heart thrumming through his ribs.

“I was scared,” she says.

“Of what?” Eddie asks without giving his mother the chance to continue.

“Of your dad.”

Eddie’s brow pinches in confusion and his grip on your hand tightens.

“Dad? Why?”

“He wasn’t…always the best to me.” She lets out a deep breath and a lone tear sneaks its way out of her eye. Her eyes dart around the room, as if she can’t bear to look at him as she says this. “I know he never would’ve hurt you; I’m not a total monster. He loved you. And maybe me too, but he didn’t show it.”

“He hit you?” Eddie’s voice is so small it makes your heart crack.

His mother nods, still not able to meet his eyes. “For a while.”

Eddie closes his eyes and his tongue pokes out of the side of his mouth. You watch him, concern etched on your face. As if he can feel your gaze on him, he gently pulls you in front of him and wraps his arms around your waist. His arms rest just below your breasts as you lean back against him, letting him rest his chin on your shoulder. He runs his thumb up and down over your ribs, and you move your arms to settle on top of his.

“You never called.” Eddie’s voice so close to your ear startles you. “Or wrote. Or even let me know that you were okay.”

“I know.” Her voice is shaky, but she finally meets her son’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Eddie.”

His grip on you tightens as he sucks in a breath. Part of you feels as if they should be having this conversation without you present, but with the way Eddie is clinging to you, you would never dream of trying to excuse yourself. You can’t help but have the bitter thought that you may have taken care of Eddie more than his own mother did. An inner voice tells you that’s not a fair claim, but you make your subconscious shut up and analyze itself at a later time.

“I don’t think sorry cuts it,” Eddie says. It’s not acerbic, but a plain statement.

“I know,” she answers.

“When he was gone.” Eddie sounds as if he’s trying to forge the words together to get to a question. “After Dad was in jail. You could’ve reached out then. Could’ve… Something. Anything.”

“I know,” is all she says again.

Eddie gently moves you to the side of him so he can stand up. He rubs his palms against the thighs of his jeans. His mother is watching him warily, unsure of what he’s going to do. You’re not sure, either.

“So, where are you now? Where’d you find better than this hellhole?”

“Illinois,” she answers quietly. “Just over the border from Indiana.”

Eddie nods to himself, beginning to pace back and forth in front of you. His eyes stay on the floor the whole time.

“Who with?”

More tears begin to fall from his mother’s eyes, and the pain on her face makes you brace yourself for the pain about to come Eddie’s way.

“My husband. A-And…my daughters.”

Eddie freezes on the spot. He slowly turns towards his mother and lifts his head to meet her eyes. The sad exhale that leaves his mouth makes your eyes start to water and you try to blink them away. You’ve got to try and stay as strong as you can in this moment. You don’t want another reason for Eddie to be upset, and he always hated it when you cried.

“I have sisters?” The words all come out in one harsh breath. He sounds disbelieving, and unbelievably hurt.

“Two.” Her voice is watery, and she reaches up the wipe the tears off her cheeks.

Eddie stumbles backwards a step, and you reach forward to grab his shoulders. He lets you guide him back to the barstool and he pulls himself up on it. His eyes are searching the carpet in front of him, scanning back and forth, as if there are some answers to his pain there. You tuck yourself into his side and wrap your arms around his hips. As you gently rub your thumb against his hip bone, Eddie raises his head back up.

“What are their names?” he asks.

“Melissa is six and Jamie is three.” A small smile is on her lips as she speaks, the names of her daughters bringing it out of her. You wonder if she’s smiled whenever she’s said Eddie’s name since she left. If she had ever said it at all.

Eddie nods again and takes a deep breath as he digests the new information. He opens his mouth to speak again when the front door squeals open on hinges that are in desperate need of oiling. Wayne steps in, his tackle box from his fishing trip clutched in his hand. His eyes first find you and Eddie, and he goes to give you a smile before seeing the heartbreaking looks on both of your faces. It leads him to look across from the two of you, gaze landing on Eddie’s mother. She looks at Wayne but keeps glancing away. It’s as if she can’t look at him for long without pain.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Wayne asks. He drops the tacklebox on the floor with a loud clang. It makes his mother jump, and you cling to Eddie just a little bit tighter.

“I came to see my son.”

“What makes you think he wants to see you?” Wayne takes a step towards her, but it’s nonthreatening. You know Wayne enough to know that he would never hit a woman. Even one he disliked as much as his ex-sister-in-law.

“Wayne, please.” Eddie’s voice is so small it makes Wayne look at his nephew in concern. “You know I’ve always wondered.”

Wayne sighs and shrugs out of his denim jacket.

“I know, boy.”

“I, um,” his mother says as she stands up. “I should go. But I have…” She rifles through her purse and pulls out a folded piece of paper. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Eddie. Not back then and not today.” Wayne lets out a huff which everyone in the room ignores. “I’m staying at a hotel for the next two days. The number to my room is right here. Or-Or if you’re not ready to talk that soon, there’s also my home number. I-If you want to talk at all, that is.”

She holds the paper out and Eddie takes it in trembling fingers. He opens it, looks at the numbers, then slips it in his pocket.

“Okay.”

“Wayne.” She nods her head at the man.

“Jaqueline.” His voice is clipped, but it’s the name that catches your attention. In all the years that you’ve known Eddie, and even known about his mom leaving, you realize you never knew her name. It’s pretty, just like her.

She walks over to the front door, which was still open behind Wayne. She steps out onto the porch and turns around to look at Eddie. He’s glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, as if he can’t bring himself to give her his full attention.

“I do love you, Eddie. I always have.” She closes the door behind her and that’s when Eddie cracks.

The dam opens and the tears flow freely. He instinctively turns in to you, burying his face in your neck. You hug him as tightly as you can while his hands grip at your shoulders. The sounds of sniffles and light sobs in your neck cause your tears to level up as well.

Wayne looks angry as he hangs up his jacket. His clenches and unclenches his fists as he walks over to put his tackle box away.

“How long was she here?” Wayne asks you.

“Not long,” you say through a sniffle.

“Too long,” Wayne huffs.

Eddie’s grip slides down your arms and you turn your full attention back to him. You press kisses to the side of his head and rub your hand up and down his back, just letting him get it all out.

After a silent dinner of pizza and Eddie takes a shower – where you pretend you didn’t hear him sobbing again – you and Eddie snuggle up in his bed. His head rests on the crook of your shoulder and his arm is secured around your waist. His eyes are red and puffy, and you can’t imagine that yours look much better. He nuzzles his nose against your collarbone and lets out a sigh.

“Do you want to talk?”

Eddie was never one to hide his feelings, but you’d learned that sometimes he needed a little nudge when something was deeply bothering him.

“I don’t know,” he says hoarsely.

“I’d ask if you’re okay, but that seems kind of dumb.”

“You’re making it better,” he tells you.

You press a few kisses against his forehead and tighten your grip around him.

“Tell me how to help you and I’ll do it in a heartbeat,” you tell him.

“I know,” he answers.

He sighs against your skin as you reach up to softly play with his curls. It was instinct at this point to play when his hair when he was stressed. It always calms him down.

“What would you do?” he asks you after a few silent minutes.

“Hmm, baby?”

“Would you call?” he asks. “Would you call her?”

You frown and move your head to rest against his. The question had been going through your mind since Eddie went to take a shower. You thought he might ask this, so you wanted to be prepared. But even after pondering it for so long, you didn’t have an answer.

“Honestly? I don’t know, sweetie.”

He nods against you and slides his hands inside of your shirt to feel your warm skin against his palms.

“Do you think I should?”

“Baby, that’s not my decision to make. Only you can do it.”

He sighs and buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“I know,” he mumbles into your hair. “It’d just be easier if someone could do it for me.”

“Listen, I may pick the movie or what’s for dinner sometimes, but this is a little above me.”

He chuckles into your hair and your body relaxes at the sound.

“Only sometimes?” he asks.

“Okay, most of the time,” you admit. After another kiss to his hair you feel you have to speak. “Can I say one thing about it, though?”

He pulls back so he can look you in the eye.

“Of course.”

“I don’t know if you’ll ever want to see her again, let alone meet your sisters.” The words feel so strange in your mouth. His whole life he’d always believed he was an only child, and suddenly he had two siblings. “But if you ever do meet them, remember they’re innocent in all of this. They didn’t do anything.”

His brow furrows as he frowns. “I know that.”

“I know you know,” you say. “I’m not saying you’d ever be mean to them intentionally. Sometimes people can take their feelings out on innocent kids without meaning to. Like she did to you.”

“Look at you,” he says with a small smirk. “You take one psychology class and you’re a fucking genius.”

You laugh and rest your lips against his forehead.

“It’s weird that I have sisters. That might be the weirdest part of this whole day.”

“They’re really missing out,” you tell him. “You’d be the best big brother.”

“You think?”

“Just ask Dustin.”

He smiles and slides his hands higher up your back. You feel him press a kiss to your neck and he lets out a sigh.

“I’m not sure what I’m going to do,” he says.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to decide now. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Or ever, really. She gave you the option, which is more than you had before. Now it’s up to you if you want to take it or leave it. And either way you choose, I’ll support you all the way.”

“You really are the best,” he says.

“Mm, I know,” you hum. “Do you want me to put on the next Star Wars movie? We can fall asleep to it.”

“No,” he mumbles, hugging you tighter. “Don’t want you to move.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #Eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fan fiction

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val-cansalute · 7 months

Text

- EMBERS -

ch.3

content warnings: small amount of nsfw, 18+ (mdni)sub!reader x dom!ellie, strap r!receiving, finger sucking, scissoring. i’ve disintegrated. been dying at the hands of a cold for days. excuse the shitty writing. i actually despise this chapter. btw, this is the last one, BUT, theres gonna be a bonus chapter too. later. fingers crossed it’ll be better than this shit. banners by cafekitsune.

pt. 2

pt. 1

masterlist

The living room is dim, only illuminated by the lambent TV screen. It’s a harsh blue glow, one that makes your eyes hurt, but you don’t want to move.

For the first time in a week since the incident, you manage to bring yourself to leave your room, sit on the couch and watch a show. Or at least try to.

But this distraction isn’t enough. You can’t stop thinking about it, even just for one fucking minute. It has completely consumed you.

That day, when you laid back on the bed, Ellie had smiled down at you and it made those feelings you fought off for so long become, all of a sudden, almost tangible. And it scared you.

You know Ellie fucks around, know it more than you would like to, because you hear it late at night and it makes your bottom lip tremble.

She looked so beautiful, you almost felt guilty when you left her still figure behind, but you fucked up by giving in to your feelings. Now, you’re just like those girls she brings home on Saturday nights, the ones you never hear about again. It’s hard to accept.

Each of the seven days between that moment and this one, you’ve been doing everything in your power to avoid her. To call it difficult would be an understatement.

When her chest rose and fell gently, the soft hum of her breathing echoing in your mind, you left the dorm and went to spend the night with a friend. You sent Ellie a curt message. It was colder than it needed to be.

You: my friend called me over to watch a movie.

Dumbass: oh right i was wondering where u were

Dumbass: when r u coming back?

seen

The next few days were excruciating. You returned the next day, opening the door at the exact moment Ellie came out of her room. You closed it behind you, begging your face not to reveal how much you were struggling to seem unfazed.

She looked so good, standing there, rubbing her eyes lazily. She offered you a smile but you could tell it was hesitant. You pretended not to notice and walked to your room awkwardly.

Your stomach twisted when you shut the door, picturing her confused face. Hurting her made you feel like shit, but you knew she didn’t care about you enough to feel hurt.

You could tell she was thrown off by your behavior though, the eyes that met yours seemed insecure when she started making attempts to get you to talk to her.

A day had passed since and, in the evening, she stood in your doorway as you pretended to study, her stance indicating she was slightly unsure of herself as she watched you.

“Hey…”

You turned to look at her for a split-second, immediately regretting it when your eyes met hers and turning back to your desk.

“… Wow, you’re studying again…”

“Mhmm,”

She chuckles to herself; you can practically hear the cogs turning as she comes up with something to say.

“Uhhh… Well… Careful there, I can see your head expanding… by the second.”

Normally, though it's embarrassing to admit, a dumb dad joke like that would've made you giggle, but you were too deep in your thoughts to find anything funny.

Ellie left after standing in discomfort from your lack of a reaction. Just a few days ago, she would've poked and prodded till you were seconds away from slapping her. Not today. Everything was wrong.

But it was hard to keep avoiding her when, somehow, she managed to come out of her room at the exact moment you came out of yours, over and over again. She never ignored your presence either, handing you things she thought you'd need as you cooked in silence. It had to be a hazard to use a stove with your hands shaking like that.

Every now and then, she'd chuckle to herself while watching you and tell you a dumb pun she remembered hearing. You didn't respond; you felt like shit and you hoped the food you'd left for her wordlessly would let her know you weren't mad at her. Because you weren't, you were just mad at yourself.

Wednesday was rough.

You were cooped up in your room, too scared to use the kitchen; you felt pathetic.

And it felt like she was reaching down your throat and squeezing your heart cruelly when there was a soft knock on your bedroom door in the afternoon.

“... Hey... You up?” her muffled voice carried past your closed door and you croaked out a quiet, "Yeah."

“You want something to eat?”

“...No.”

“... I know you haven't eaten all day.”

“I've got snacks in here.”

You heard her sigh as you pressed a shaky hand to your pounding heart.

“That's not... enough, dude.”

“Whatever, I don't feel hungry.”

There was silence for a moment and you winced at how harsh your tone came out but the sound of Ellie's footsteps getting further away gave you relief regardless.

Not too long after, Ellie was thumping her fist against your door and rattling the handle impatiently.

“Hey, asshole! Come play Mario Kart!”

“Not in the mood.”

“What? Don't you try to bullshit me; you're always in the mood for Mario Kart.”

You sighed and rubbed your tired eyes. You hadn't been sleeping well since you did it with Ellie. Late night brought on those thoughts. Those memories.

“No, not today.”

You heard her mutter “...Jeez,” as she walked away. This time, you knew she'd be back soon.

And she was.

“I wanna watch Shrek 2! Come on! I know you want to! ‘Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Donkey?’”

That Scottish accent made you cringe. For some reason, it was these kinds of things that made your feelings deepen. You're peculiar.

“No, I'm busy, Ellie.”

And then, again.

“You asleep? You better not be metamorphosing into a cockroach in there, okay?!”

With a sigh, “Yes, I'm asleep, Ellie.”

“It’s like your ghost lingers…”

Again.

“HEY! Hey, open the door, it's important.”

You don't, “What do you want?”

“Did you know that- that the velociraptors in Jurassic Park weren't even actual velociraptors, they were based on... like, Utahraptors? Like, that’s not even what they look like, dude.”

“… Okay.”

“Just letting you know.”

She stopped after that.

You snuck out of your room to get food but realized there was no need. She wasn't there.

She played her games and shows at full blast, shouting and laughing late through the night, let the dishes pile up in the sink, made the living room more and more disheveled each day, played music at unspeakable volumes in the shower, and made no attempts to speak to you.

You just let it be, because you couldn’t bring yourself to face her, even to reprimand her. You just sat in your room, hoping you could ignore these feelings till they went away but it proved to be harder than you ever anticipated.

So many emotions are weighing you down now, it feels like they're pushing against the confines of your skull, like your head's gonna burst.

And tonight is a Saturday night, so Ellie isn’t home. She left without a word, slamming the door behind her. She’s gone to some dumbass party to smoke weed. Then, she’ll come back cross faded with a girl you might’ve seen around campus a few times. You know her routine.

It makes your stomach ache.

You don't want to hear it- no, today, you can not hear it. You have no right to be upset, acting like she didn't even exist and like you weren't bothered by what the two of you did. You know that. But if you hear her tonight, you'll have no choice but to go. You feel pathetic. It happens a lot these days.

It's getting late, past midnight. If Ellie were to bring a girl home, it'd be around now. You squeeze your eyes shut, resisting the urge to smack yourself for thinking the thoughts that swarm in your mind.

Despite it all, you couldn't even tell yourself that having sex with Ellie was a mistake, because it felt so right in that moment.

You sigh and place your can of beer back on the coffee table in front of you, the bitterness that lingers in your mouth suddenly getting to be too much as you imagine what will unfold tonight. You're angry at her even though it doesn't make sense for you to be, huh?

Pushing through, you pat the space on the couch around you in a halfhearted attempt to find the remote, telling yourself you should probably go hide in your room before she gets back.

You hear it; the sound of her voice out in the hallway as she hums that song she was blasting in the shower earlier today. Now, you're frozen in place, watching the door swing open.

With the heartbeat of an animal of prey being hunted, you look back at the TV screen, too afraid to confront whatever you will inevitably have to confront tonight.

“Oh, you're not hiding in your room anymore, huh?” she murmurs, sounding almost as bitter as you, her words quiet and slow.

You find your hands moving on their own, grabbing the remote you were struggling to find and fumbling as you try to turn off the TV. “... I wasn't hiding. I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Fuck you.”

You throw your head around to meet Ellie's gaze. Her cheeks are rosy and her eyes are slightly bloodshot, but she's not drunk.

“Excuse me?”

She's alone. She came back alone. You can’t help but let out a shaky breath at the same time she pushes out a venomous scoff, mumbling some shit along the lines of my puns are fucking hilarious and doesn’t appreciate my fucking dino fun facts.

“That's the first time you looked at me in days. You're ignoring me, fuckin' asshole.”

You look down and shake your head; Ellie moves closer. So, you put the remote down and turn away to leave the living room.

“I told you, Ellie, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm gonna go to bed.”

“You better fucking stop pulling whatever shit you're pulling now.”

She grabs your wrist and looks you in the eye. You can smell it on her, the weed and the anger. That fucking addictive body spray she uses. And she looks so hauntingly beautiful in this blue light. Fuck. It's too much. You want to tell her to get off but the words die on your tongue; her expression hit you like cold water to the face.

Ellie looks sad.

“Why did... I thought… fuck... you can't do that... you're confusing me, you're being...”

Your eyebrows furrow in panic,

“Ellie... it was just sex, you... you have sex all the time. I mean, you usually bring someone over today, right? It’s not like it meant anything…”

She shakes her head, scoffing,

“That’s different. I dont know those girls. I don’t see them again. I know you; I see you every day!”

You’re caught up in the heat of the moment, huffing in frustration, not knowing what to feel, what to think.

“Well, I didnt think it was any different, I thought-”

Ellie shakes her head desperately, her voice cracking.

“Jeez, do I have to fucking spell it out for you? I have feelings for you! How can you not see that?… So, dont... fuck with me if you’re expecting me to act like it was nothing. Because, holy shit, it was something, and I can’t fuckin’ do that. I’m sorry.”

The world stops spinning for a moment and you’re standing in front of Ellie with a bright red face and a pounding heart, feeling like a little girl.

“You have feelings for me?”

She stares at you as you sit back on the couch and wipe a stray tear, and then another, and another.

Fuck, you’re ruining the moment. It’s so dramatic and stupid to cry about it, you know, but your body is completely overcome with relief, washing away the intense feelings that have been swirling in you the past week like a hurricane.

You’ve had feelings for Ellie since the moment you saw her, and they’ve only gotten stronger day by day. It was heartbreaking to see her so casually sleeping with other girls, and it was terrifying to think you’d become one of them.

“I’m so sorry, Ellie, I thought you thought it was just, like, meaningless sex. I was so scared you’d act like nothing happened, so I acted like it didn’t happen first, or something. It sounds so dumb now. Oh my god, I was such a bitch to you, Ellie, I’m so sorry-”

Ellie cuts you off as she brings your wrist up to her lips and presses a gentle kiss to the back of your shaking hand.

You look at her, your other hand gliding up her side and onto the back of her neck.

“You’re so pretty, Ellie. God, since I first saw you...”

You lean in and Ellie’s already on you, kissing you desperately, even more than the first time.

The two of you stumble back to your room, completely entangled, your hands roaming all over each other.

You’re on top of the sheets, moaning into each other’s mouths like you’re drunk, like your hands are moving on their own.

And your clothes are in a heap on the floor, discarded mindlessly as you tug on the waistband of Ellie’s jeans, hand slipping up her sports bra and circling her hard nipple gently before pulling it over her head and closing the gap between your mouths once more.

Her lips never leave yours as she shoves down her pants, fanning your face with hot, aroused breaths when you separate for air.

There’s a visible bulge in her boxers. The sight gives you feelings that travel straight to your core before your eyes meet hers.

She ducks and presses warm, gentle kisses along your collarbone; you can feel the smirk against your skin.

Her touch is electric, tongue gliding down your sternum, sending shivers throughout your body.

She mumbles, “I’ve been wearing it…” and kisses your right nipple, cupping your boob in her hand as she sucks it, teeth grazing the skin and tongue rounding it, before she pulls back with a pop. “Every day…” she moves to your left, doing the same, and your breathing picks up, your fingers tangling themselves in her auburn hair. “Since I fucked you.”

You can't hold back the soft moan that leaves your lips as you push your chest into her face, hips bucking against hers. Your cunt hits the bulge, nudging it against Ellie's clit and she squeezes her eyes shut with a groan before coming up and kissing you again, one hand holding your hip and the other interlaced with yours.

You chuckle against her as your nails gently graze the expanse of her back, “Always prepared, huh?”

Ellie's smile is breathtaking. It hasn't stopped making your heart flutter in a year. Everything feels warm, like home. You put your forehead against her's, exchanging hot, shaky breaths,

“Good, because I need it, Ellie, please.”

“Of course,” she whispers, and the nickname feels right now, no awkward pauses following. She kisses the tip of your pink-tinged nose and peppers more across your neck as she pulls down her boxers.

You feel the silicone against your slit and your eyes roll back, a quiet gasp escaping. It's warm this time, the product of Ellie's body heat. And then you feel the feeling your body's been begging for as she rubs it against you, covering it with your slick. Those little noises you're making and the way you're quivering- it's driving Ellie crazy.

Her eyes never leave your face, glazed and staring up at you from the comfort of your shoulder as the tip teases your entrance.

“Tell me if it hurts, babe, I’ll go slow.” She slowly pushes it in with surprising ease, listening to your quiet moans, and, now, she knows- knows you've been aching for it for days. You glance down and give her a dazed smile, inviting her to keep going.

Ellie pushes herself up, closer to your lips and mutters, “Shit... I'm gonna make you feel good, promise,” locking her swollen lips with yours, and starts slowly pushing it deeper.

You're breathing heavy, moaning into her mouth like you're on ecstasy as Ellie picks up the pace, bouncing her hips against yours rhythmically. Her soft groans are filled with pleasure as the strap rubs against her core. It get you excited.

You can feel your own pleasure build up, babbling incoherently. Ellie knows you're both so close, so soon, and, with her hand on your hip, the other stroking your cheek, her thumb slowly inches towards your parted lips and enters.

You're looking directly into her eyes as she whispers, "Suck, baby." Your cheeks flush a deeper red, unable to speak as the feeling washes over you, lips wrapping around it and sucking.

Ellie moans at the sight, she pushes her thumb deeper till it hits the back of your throat and you gag, starting to thrust into you faster and harder now. Your eyes are rolling back into your head.

The tears that pooled in the corners of your eyes - she wipes them away and brings the thumb to your throbbing clip, watching you writhe desperately when she slowly circles it.

Her lips quirk into a smile, thrusts getting more and more hungry.

“Love your pretty little face so much.”

“F-fuck, I'm close, Ellie,” you choke out, cutting yourself off with a loud moan, so Ellie fucks into you harder, through your seemingly never-ending orgasm, and not pulling out even when it's done.

When you calm down, you pull her closer and bury your face in her neck,

“I wanna make you feel good, Ellie… Fuck… Cum on me.”

Ellie groans, “You got a slutty mouth, huh? I fucking love it.”

She’s searching for more, hungry for more, to make you feel good. To feel good. And her hand traces the skin down your stomach to your cunt, eyes clenching shut when she feels it dripping in slick.

Like it comes naturally, she moves back, kneeling over you after gently raising your leg onto her shoulder, and bumps her wet clit against yours.

The friction is delicious, your hips lift mindlessly, sliding your cunt up on hers. The movement earns you another graphic moan from Ellie, that, and the wet sounds of your cunts against each other before she grinds against you, softly brushing a lock of hair out of your flushed face.

She watches your body move, mesmerized by the way is bounces as her hands subconsciously dart around to feel and grope, squeezing your tits hard, grinding ravenously.

She leans over your figure, pushing your leg further into your chest, and kisses you as she thrusts her hips against you desperately, like she's feral, the way she gets when she’s close. Her sweet moans mix with yours as your arms wrap tight around her neck. The peak is getting closer, and it looks like everything around Ellie’s eyes is blurred, melting into a pool of warmth that caresses you. It’s long and intense, the feeling of her cunt clenching against yours, the sound of her panting as she rides it out.

You cum into her as she cums into you, slick covering your sweaty thighs. You feel complete, grinning dumbly.

You still feel euphoric when you come down, still feel euphoric when she kisses your forehead and pulls you close in her embrace because it’s not just sex.

This is something. The something.

#college!ellie williams #dom!ellie #ellie fluff #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x reader #enemies to lovers #fanfic #mean!ellie #modern!ellie williams #ellie the last of us #ellie x fem reader #ellie smut #smut #mdni #Spotify

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heyclickadee · 3 months

Text

Okay, a few thoughts on the trailer now that I’ve collected my thoughts a bit:

1. Between the shots of the crashed ship and Omega in the cockpit, it’s looking like a self-rescue on Omega’s part. At this point I’m thinking she gets herself and Crosshair out, and then, based on the shots of Cross with the batch, gets separated from him at some point. He rejoins the batch, and she is…somewhere else. Though I don’t know if that means she goes back to Tantiss.

2. It’s entirely possible that she gets got by one of the bounty Hunters in the trailer, and that’s what separates her from Crosshair.

3. I do think that it is Crosshair in the armor, but other possibilities include: one, Tech, who may not have his own armor anymore and needed to wear something protective on short notice, and; two, Hunter’s having a real bad time and is actually hallucinating Crosshair being with them. I don’t think that’s the case though—I think it really is Crosshair.

4. It’s also possible that those shots with Crosshair are from a little later on in the season.

5. Poor Omega’s going to be in Tantiss for months.

6. I swear Hunter looks like he’s lost weight. Like. I know a lot of the fandom is deep in the Crosshair and Tech are twins sauce (and honestly, I am too, I adore that head-canon and basically think if it as canon), but darn it if Hunter isn’t getting so drawn he’s starting to look a little like Crosshair.

7. I find it weirdly amusing that the half the trailer in which the bad batch actually features is mostly taken up by Hunter and Wrecker doing Adventure Man things. I get the sense they were scrounging to find shots of the batchers that weren’t massively spoilery (and they still put those shots of Crosshair in. Which, admittedly, is one of the things that makes me slightly suspicious of that being Crosshair at all, because that could be a misdirect, but only slightly).

8. I’m going to laugh if it turns out that Cid hired all of the bounty hunters we see to find Omega. Like, if that’s what she uses the money she got from Hemlock for, and she’s basically trying to get Omega out of the situation she got Omega into and goes a little overboard on the means.

9. Ventress! I’ll be honest, Ventress has never been at the top of my favorite character list, though I’ve warmed up to her quite a bit (I used to like the idea of her more than the execution), but I always love Nika Futterman’s performance, and I’m intrigued to see Ventress here at the very least. Because. How. She was very dead. Very, very dead. Not “fell into The Mists” dead—she had a funeral after being dead for months. My only thoughts are that were either seeing her in a flashback sequence that takes place before Dark Disciple, or it turns out that nightsisters can use their force magic to do some weird shit after getting hit by lightning. Either way, I don’t think she’s fighting Wrecker and Hunter here—that’s just some misleading editing.

10. Man, I hope Hemlock dies a lot.

11. Anyway, speaking of the dead and those back from it, Tech is so alive and I’m trying to not be the Smuggest of Gremlins until we for sure see him, but jeez are they making that difficult. (I checked the trailer release blurb on the Star Wars dot com page—it doesn’t mention Tech being dead. It just says the team is “scattered” after the events of season two. Like. Guys, you’re not even trying anymore.)

12. And more on Tech, I do think it’s possible—possible, mind you—that Tech is the guy we see in the clone X armor in front of what looks like the Archium. There are some small differences between that armor and both the armor we see on Clone X in season two, and the Clone X we see speaking later in the trailer—namely, the shoulder straps, what looks like a glass visor covering the two eyeholes, and *sigh* the pouches. And it’s the straps and the pouches that are giving him a bit more of a Tech-ish silhouette—especially the pouches, and especially from behind. If it is Tech, though, I don’t think it’s a brainwashed Tech at all (and honestly, it’s the pouches that make me lean towards not brainwashed if it is Tech in there, because a shin pouch is just a very Tech-and-not-blank-slate thing to wear).

I actually think it’s more likely that it’s Tech in disguise and having taken the armor from the Clone X we see later in the trailer (with some adjustments of his own), and that that’s what’s being referred to by the titles “Infiltration” and “Extraction;” Tech infiltrating imperial forces, and then the others having to get him (and probably the people of Pabu) out. And, if that’s the case, I’m banking on these shots being from the midseason. (I know I said I wasn’t going to speculate on the episode titles. That was aspirational.)

Basically, I could be persuaded that it’s Tech in there or that it’s not. I’m less likely to be persuaded that it’s a brainwashed Tech in there—I still don’t think that’s happening.

12. Whether that is Tech in that armor or not, I do think that the clone X we see speaking in the trailer isn’t the same guy in the armor in the Archium shot.

13. I am SO HAPPY to see Phee back THANK GOODNESS. I was a little worried they’d drop her like a rock, but nope! She’s here! She’s got her cool jacket! We see her ship!

14. There is a criminally small amount of Echo in the trailer, but I’m not giving up on seeing more of him. It’s possible that he’s either a walking spoiler, or that he features a little more heavily in the back half of the season.

15. “The Cavalry Has Arrived” is the most optimistic episode title in the whole damn show and, yes, I will die on this hill.

16. Crosshair. Oh, Crosshair. Someone please save him immediately.

17. There’s a lot of early doom panic around, well, everyone and everyone (especially Hunter) dying that I’m honestly going to ignore going forward. For reasons.

#the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #bad batch spoilers #the bad batch season 3 #here in the land of wild speculation

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dandelionprints · 1 year

Text

More Than Enough

(Tommy Shelby One Shot)

As some of you will know if you’ve seen any of my posts, I’ve not had any motivation to write and have really felt my inspiration dwindling on a daily basis. I had a little bit of that motivation come back to me this evening so I thought I’d use it to write this short one shot. It was quite hard to write as I feel like my self belief is at a low right now so I was questioning myself a lot when writing it but fuck it, I’ve finally completed a WIP after weeks of not writing, I hope you enjoy!

Day had slowly turned into night in what had felt like only a matter of minutes in your bedroom, the only light now coming from the fireplace and a lamp that was lit on your desk. The comfort of the fire warmed you as the air grew cold.

Piles of invitations were laid upon the wooden surface with various addresses to the wealthiest people within England and Scotland. This charity ball had better get you a lot of fucking money after all the time you’d put into it, not to mention the cramp that was now very apparent in your fingers.

“Come to bed love, it’s getting late”, Tommy whispered against your shoulder before moving the strap of your nightie to the side and gently laying a kiss on your bare skin.

“I will my love, I’ve just got a few…”, you began, getting cut off swiftly by an exasperated sigh from your husband that caught you off guard.

“Y/N, you’ve been at this for hours, you need to get some rest. I would also like to spend some time with my wife. Please, come to bed”

You turned to look at him standing there in just his boxer shorts, a look of pleading in his expression. Those eyes of blue almost boring right through you, making you melt like they had the first day you’d made contact with them.

You sighed feeling guilty, “I know, Tom. But if I don’t do it then who the fuck will? They’re meant to be delivered to everyone tomorrow and I feel like if they’re not perfect then I’ll be judged even more than I already am”

A wave of insecurity swept over you unexpectedly. Fuck you hated that feeling, never feeling like the life you’d married into was something you deserved. The money, the big house, the handsome gangster husband. None of it.

“Who do you think is judging you, the people invited?”, his eyebrow raised as he took a step toward you, kneeling at your side, “don’t take any notice of what they say, they’re all twats in expensive suits”

You nodded your head and averted his gaze, instead choosing to pick a spot on the floor to focus on.

“I know what they say, Tom. ‘What’s a girl like that doing with a man like him? A former peasant girl who used to have to beg for scraps on the street? She’s probably only with him for the money! Oh, and the maids too, they do everything for her’”

“Who have you heard say that? You tell me and I’ll send Arthur round to have a chat with them, no one talks about my wife like that!”

He stood with his fists balled at his sides, his knuckles white from the tension. Grabbing his arm you pulled yourself up and squeezed him gently, his muscles tight under your grip.

“No! Please don’t, it’s not a big deal”, you used your free hand to bring his face towards yours, “All I’m saying is I’m well aware that they don’t think highly of me. I just want to show them I’m no longer that peasant girl who had to beg for food and money, that I’m capable of organising a charity event and doing as much for it on my own as I can without the help of staff or other influences. I want them to know I work hard, Tom”

He hadn’t taken his eyes off you the whole time you’d been speaking, too fixated on every word you were saying. He brought his hands up to either side of your face and cupped your cheeks.

“You work harder than any of those fuckers that are invited, the only reason they’re on the guest list is cause they have money, and lots of it. They don’t have a clue what shit you went through to end up on the streets or how we met, which if I remember rightly wasn’t when you were still having to sleep in the gutters. They don’t know fuck all about anything, none of them do”, he said, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs.

Bringing your hands up you held onto either one of his wrists, your thumb on the back of his hand.

“I know love, I just want to show I’m enough. Enough to be deserving of this life we’ve built. Enough to be with you when there are so many other beautiful women out there who would drop their knickers for you with just a snap of your fingers”

He chuckled then before his expression turned soft, moving his face closer to yours, hands still cupping your cheeks.

“Darling, you’re more than enough. You always have been”

His lips connected with yours in a soft swoop, holding themselves there for a while before curving up into a smile.

You smiled back feeling a rush of warmth in your chest, the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach making themselves known.

“Now c’mon, bed”

This time you didn’t have a choice in the matter as he swiftly swept you up into his arms and carried you towards the bed. You giggled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours, the signature smell of whiskey and cigarettes moving to your nose.

Placing you down onto the bed he knelt over you and kissed you again, this time with more passion.

“I think it’s time I show you just how wrong those people are, how it’s really me who is unworthy to be with you, Mrs. Shelby”

The firelight continued to flicker, casting shadows around the room, the plans of finishing the invitations now well and truly gone.

Right here in this very moment, in your big expensive house, on the expensive Egyptian cotton bedding beneath you on your expensive four poster bed, the only thing that mattered was that the love of your life truly believed that you had always been enough, no matter what.

————

Tagged: @peakypoet @moral-terpitude @lyarr24 @cillmequick @mrkdvidal1989 @shelbydelrey @alasya16 @tommystargirl @elenavampire21 @adaydreamaway08 @slaypussypop-21 (unable to tag) @bluesongbird @zablife @cljordan-imperium @look-at-the-soul @rangerelik

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby one shot #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #peaky blinders #cillian murphy

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heartbeat-eras · 3 months

Text

~Intro Post ~

Hi everyone!

Long time cardiophile in the community but just discovering tumblr for the first time. Please bear with me while I work this out 😅

About me:

My first memory was me, maybe 3 years old, with my head on my Mums chest asking her what that was. Ever since then it’s always been a thing I’ve been fascinated in.

My cardio-interest can be many things and have evolved over the years. I have the curiosity about what certain things make it do. How it reacts to exercise or caffeine or nicotine or standing different ways. How holding your breath makes it skip and slow down. I love seeing the reactions to different things. This was the era I started in.

Then there is the emotional side. The heart can’t lie. If you had a stethoscope on my chest right now, while these words could be trying to portray confidence - you you hear her thrashing in my chest with nervousness / excitement. (Talking about hearts, even anon, gives me anxiety). It’s one of those things that in my real life I would love to be more open about but the level of trust to do that is something that needs to be earned.

And the dark / …. Adult side… if you asked me years ago I would have said hell no. It depends on the day, month, mood, etc. I’m more open to it these days. Electro, breath play and cpr is what I would lean into, but I’m either in the mood or definitely not. There’s no in between.

RP / Messages - I’ve never RP before. Maybe I want to try? I’m not sure. I need to be comfortable to talk about hearts so it would have to be a slow intro into it. I also never know how to answer a blind message saying “how’s your heart?” It kinda feels intrusive and personal so unless it’s a comment about a post PLEASE just start how you would any message to any friend 😊

About my heart

My heart wasn’t all the exciting. Sleeping she gets into the high 40s - low 50’s. Just sitting around working she’s chill around 68. It’s the exercise that gets her. I’ve been a smoker for about 16 years (the last 3 of those vaping instead). When I exercise she shoots up and stays in the 170-188 range on a run. Her recovery is ok considering nic. Slows down initially pretty quickly but says just about 100 for a while. She doesn’t throw many skips and I can induce a couple from a breath hold / push but usually will just beat really slowly after that.

… well all that was until 6 month ago. Yo girl was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and started on stimulants. Now she feels completely different. I needed to go through the full heart check prior to this, I wanted so bad to see the ECG and see her beating but I was mentally not in a good place and didn’t get to.

They say that Dexadrine is meant to only increase your resting by 5-7 beats. I would end up sitting at my desk and her beating away happily in the 90s. I haven’t exercised yet but when they wear off at night I can definitely feel her pounding a bit harder and faster than she used to. I’ve now noticed late at night she will occasionally get skippy and throw 5 or 6 beats in a row. But only occasionally and then goes back the normal pounding rhythm.

Last night I wore my chest strap to bed to see how she was behaving. When she would usually be around 50, last night she didn’t get lower than 65. Today I decided to test her and record her without getting up and taking my meds. A true resting test. She was steady around 68 for 45 mins. Then she increased to about 72 as they kicked in. So maybe they weren’t lying. Maybe just being up is enough to jack her up into the 90s 🤔 she is pounding really forcefully though. I think I’m going to continue monitoring and see if this the norm.

Anyway, you’ve made it this far you probably deserve some of her sounds. After she didn’t take off into the 90s like I thought she would I decided it was time to have my morning nicotine. This is where the changes took place. A short sound for you to hear hear speeding up. This is before I’ve stood up still.

What do you hear? How fast is she beating? What do you think she’s feeling?

Soon I’ll try some exercise and we will see how that goes. 😅

#cardiophile #pounding heart #cardiophilia #fast heartbeat #beating heart #female heartbeat #self stething

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lumosinlove · 4 months

Text

Christmas Eve Will Find Me

Six: Finn

Sleeper Car

Somewhere Just Outside of Athens

The setting sun turned their small cabin a brilliant orange as the train dashed along. They were well out of the city and in rocky looking grasslands. James had knocked on their door with sandwiches not too long ago—let’s lay low for the night. They’d found porcelain plates strapped up delicately within the bar cabinet. There was heat and an extremely tiny bathroom with hot water.

And there was Logan, taking up half of the space at all times. Each time they had to move, they would touch shoulders, or hips, or elbows. Finn could feel his body heat. They both were sweaty and in desperate need of a shower, but Finn had never wanted to crush himself against someone else more than he did when Logan’s back brushed across his chest as they switched places at the sink.

Finn looked at himself in the mirror. This would have been romantic. Unbearably so. He could picture it so clearly. Calling for ice, popping that half-bottle of champagne in the fridge, complaining a little about how tight a fit the bunk bed would be but losing any and all thoughts of needing extra space when their bodies fit together perfectly after dinner. Dinner in the room? No, Logan would have wanted to watch Finn get dressed up, would have taken him to the dining car, would have pressed their ankles together beneath the table.

Instead, Finn had purple circles beneath his eyes and much darker smudges around his neck. He touched a bruise lightly.

“Sorry,” Logan said. It was the first thing either of them had said in twenty minutes. The first thing at all save for little notes about the room. Fancy. Yes. Tiny shower. Yeah. Nice pillows. Definitely. Logan cleared his throat and gestured to his own neck. He was sitting at the small window booth in front of his sandwich. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Finn said. He took one more look, decided there was really nothing to be done, then sat down across from him. “I wouldn’t have known what to believe, either.”

Logan toyed with the parchment wrapping of his sandwich but didn’t open it.

“Maybe…” Finn swallowed. He looked down at his sandwich, pulling at the sticker that kept the wrappings closed. It looked good. Turkey and lettuce and tomato. “Maybe you still don’t. That’s okay.” At least, Finn was pretty sure Logan wasn’t going to snap and suddenly try to strangle him again while he slept.

They ate in silence, too, watching the sun go down and the world outside turn into racing silhouettes. They had never been this quiet. Not ever.

Finally, Finn couldn’t take it anymore. He turned around to the bar cabinet—so small was the room that he didn’t even have to get up—and took the champagne bottle out of the fridge. He held it up questioningly.

Logan blinked. “Oh. Should we?”

Finn was exhausted. He was dirty. He was longing, he was ecstatic, he was terrified. “I, personally, need some champagne after today.”

Logan watched Finn in silence as he got out the glasses—flutes so thin that Finn feared they’d shatter in his hands. He thought of the clover rocks glasses back home.

“You know, I never really guessed how much you guys roughed it—I mean, not that the house was rough but.” He began undoing the wire. “It wasn’t this.”

“What house?” Logan asked.

“We were at a place in Athens. No heat. No hot water unless you wanted to burn your skin off.”

“Ouch.”

Finn popped the cork. A sound that felt entirely too merry. The way the bubbles fizzed up and nearly spilled out, the clean chill of the bottle in his hand as he poured. Logan watched and Finn thought of all the bottles they’d shared—Harvard rooftop, fancy room services, their wedding.

The question that had been trying to knock its way into his mind finally surfaced: If they had to start over, could they do it?

“Remus said he was on a boat,” Finn said. “When he woke up.”

Logan nodded. “Me too. But—but not together. I’ve never seen him before. It was me and the crew. They had been out for a month and said they’d been out for another. Their home port wasn’t Greece. They were transporting cargo. They said they found me in the water, thought I was dead or a runaway. Criminal. I don’t…” Logan picked up a piece of tomato that had fallen out of his sandwich and popped it into his mouth. “I don’t think they believed me that I couldn’t remember anything. At least not in the beginning.”

Finn shivered. Logan reached for his glass and inspected the golden liquid.

“So you were at sea for the first month?”

“Yes. Wait.” Logan tilted his head. “How…How long do you think I was gone?”

“Six months.” There was no thinking. Finn took a small sip of champagne, letting the bubbles fill his nose. He watched Logan mirror the gesture. There was nothing gone about it either. It had been so much more than gone.

“You’ve been looking for me for so long,” Logan said.

Looking. Finn wished. He would have done anything to have been looking.

“No,” Finn said. “I thought you were dead the whole time.”

Again—Strange to say that sentence over champagne. This wasn’t exactly a celebration. If Logan was ever to return home—and Finn had pictured it of course—memory had never factored in. Sometimes, he imagined a knock on the door came in the middle of the night. Logan wouldn’t have his key, so a knock made sense, but also other times Finn woke to Logan’s hand on his cheek. I’m right here.

Other times, he got a call from Sirius or James and he had to go and meet them somewhere. Some tarmac, some remote hospital. And there would be Logan, battered but alive and reaching for him.

“The others came home. Without you.” Finn swallowed. He’d never said this aloud. “Without—”

“Finn. Finn listen.”

He had been able to tell from their faces. The very second. Telling him to sit down.

“Where is he? Where is he? Sirius.”

“Finn…Just sit down for a second. Please, Finn.”

“Where is he, why are you looking at me like that, where is he—”

“And I told your family. And my family. And you…And you were dead.” Finn drew in a breath. He rubbed at his jaw. “And I don’t know how I got through it. I really don’t know how.”

Logan had his head ducked down. Green eyes looking up at him through those lashes, sad and scared and surprised.

“I’m your husband,” Logan said. “And you thought I was dead for six months?”

Finn’s jaw went tight to keep the tears in and he hoped that was answer enough. He got up, rubbing at his eyes, and sat down on his bunk—Logan had already taken the top one when he’d followed him inside the cabin. He just needed a moment. Just a moment. He didn’t want to make Logan feel bad. It wasn’t his fault.

But then the mattress shifted and Logan was settling down right across from him. His green eyes were earnest. His knees almost touched Finn’s.

“Six months.”

“Yeah,” Finn said.

“Oh,” Logan whispered. “Finn.”

Logan said his name almost like he always had. Almost.

“You know, you broke through all of this once before,” Finn said. “In the alley, by the bookshop. Something happened, and then—well you know the rest. You passed out. But for a moment you knew me.”

Leo would probably be trying to coax some information out of Logan just now rather than ogling his eyes, and the way he had eaten his sandwich the same, and how he said Finn’s name.

“Do you know who Pascal is?” Finn asked. “That’s the name you said, and we can’t piece it together.”

Logan frowned. “Non. I said to Leo, I don’t.”

“I know…I know. I just—it’s the only thing you said to me.” And I wanted an ‘I love you’ so badly.

“Am I different?” Logan asked. “I mean…Yes probably. But am I?”

“Of course,” Finn said. “Nothing’s the same. But…I don’t know. You’re…” You. He wasn’t sure how to say it. Not when Logan didn’t know who you was.

“Tell me something,” Logan said. “I want to be able to think I know something about you without it making me want to rip by brain out. Tell me something.”

“Tell me something.”

Logan had pulled the sheets over their heads and it billowed above them like a tent with the Caribbean sunshine lighting him up in bronze.

Finn ran his hands up the back of Logan’s bare thighs, which straddled his hips. “Like what?”

Logan sat back against Finn’s palms, rolling his hips down in a slow push, then grinning at Finn’s gasp. “Like what it’s like being my newly wed.”

“Oh I’m yours, am I?”

Finn’s eyes went down to Logan’s hand. “You lost your wedding ring.”

Logan held out his hand between them, turning it backwards then palm forward again. “Oh.” He looked up at Finn, at the gold around his finger then his eyes. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

Finn shook his head. “No, I didn’t mean…”

“All mine.” Logan’s smile was even in the kiss he pressed to Finn’s mouth. “All mine.”

“What did it look like?”

Finn tilted his head. He said nothing, just waited.

Logan started biting at his lip. That was the first sign. Then he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his fingertips to his forehead. “Oh fuck. Fuck.”

And then there was the blood. Finn sat there frozen for a moment. This wound, strange and unexplainable, had no place in this memory or talk of their wedding. No place anywhere.

But this was Logan. This was Logan. This was his boy.

“Hey.” Finn reached forward and cradled Logan’s jaw, his other hand brushing his hair back from his forehead. “Shh. Hey, it’s all right, look at me. I’ve got ya, look at me.”

Logan opened his eyes, brows pulled together. His mouth was slack, surprised at Finn’s touch. But he was Logan. Brown waves falling across his forehead. He was so Logan, and he was warm, and so close to Finn’s arms.

“There you go,” Finn said. I’ve got you. I found you. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

“I don’t know,” Logan said.

“Let’s do this—You don’t try to remember anything. I just tell you.” He swiped a thumb under Logan’s nose without thinking. “There.”

“I’m sorry, that’s so gross.”

Finn didn’t know how to tell him that nothing about him could possibly seem gross. Loving someone this much, wanting them this badly, didn’t allow room for gross. Finn could’ve crawled in beside Logan’s heart and lived there.

“It’s not,” Finn said. He reached for one of the—very nice—cloth napkins. “See? Fine.”

Logan wiped his face, sniffing, but it looked like the pain had eased up. His eyes were clearer.

“This is the first time you’re seeing—that we’re seeing each other? After…”

Finn nodded, then paused. “If we don’t count the gun holding, sure.”

And there it was. A trace of a smile. Just half a raised corner of his mouth. Finn wanted to crawl inside that, too.

“You didn’t know,” he said before Logan could apologize again.

The bottom bunk felt small. Cozy. Fort-like. Logan folded the red on the napkin out of sight and set it aside. He scrubbed his fingers through his hair, rubbed at his eyes. Sleepy. He was tired.

Logan set his mug of tea down, pushed his hands through his hair, rubbed his eyes, and took Finn’s book, tossing it onto the floor and more or less falling into Finn’s chest.

“Sleep,” he mumbled.

Finn was about to ask, tea? when Logan spoke.

“Can I do anything?”

Finn frowned. “What do you mean?”

Logan hesitated. “I mean—we must…” Finn watched the way Logan wet his lips. His eyes darted down to Finn’s mouth. “Six months is a long time to think someone is dead. And we must’ve…kissed.”

Finn stared at him. And stared at him.

And then they were laughing, Logan with a flush on his cheeks.

“Yeah,” Finn laughed. “Yeah, we kiss.”

“Right.”

“You’re asking me if we should kiss?”

Logan shrugged, a hint of a smile back. “I’m—I don’t know. I…I mean. Was I a good…person? Did you miss me?”

“Oh…Oh, Lo.” Finn pressed a palm to Logan’s knee. “Baby, missing doesn’t even begin—I mean—”

Logan’s eyes had widened. “Is that what you call me?”

“I—Sometimes.”

“What else? Maybe I’ll…” Remember.

“Um. Lo. Tremz. Your last name—”

“Tremblay, you said.”

“Right.”

“And…” Logan was leaning forward now. Their knees were touching.

Finn bit his lip. “Yeah. Baby. Mostly Lo.”

Logan’s eyes snapped shut. He put a hand to his forehead. “Ugh.”

“Don’t—”

But Logan waved him off. “What do I call you?”

Rouge.

“Rouge,” Logan whispered. Finn felt a kiss against to his temple, a hand rubbing his back. “Baby, wake up, I have to go. I got called in, give me a kiss, come here.”

Finn fell into his arms when calls were sudden. He didn’t let go all the way to the door. Never managed to crawl back into bed after. Slept on the couch for the first day or two, hoping that the front door opened and—“Rouge? I’m home, baby, where are you, where are you?”

No. He only wanted to hear Rouge again if—when Logan remembered.

“Lots of French things that I would just butcher. And sometimes Harzy, though that was mostly a college thing. Harzy because O’Hara. My name.”

“College.”

“Harvard. That’s how we met.”

Logan flinched hard, but he kept his eyes open. No blood. “The library.”

“Yeah,” Finn said softly. “The library.”

Logan pushed himself up from the bed. He rubbed at his eyes again. “This is so—God, it’s like I can—it’s like I know that I don’t know. So I should know.” He pressed his hands to either side of the sink. “Does that make any sense at all?”

“I think so. I can’t imagine what this is like for you but…I sort of make it a point of my life to make sense of you.”

Logan stayed quiet. He kept his gaze down, brow furrowed in pain. Finn would’ve given anything to know what he was thinking.

“I don’t want this to hurt you,” Finn said. “Maybe we should—do you want to sleep?”

Logan kept his eyes closed for another moment, then shook his head. “I think I want to shower first.”

Finn settled against the spark of familiarity. Of course. He should have known that.

“Then champagne,” Logan said. When Finn looked at him, he had that half-smile in place again.

“I’ll keep a spoon in it, then,” Finn said. He smiled, too, and then he realized all over again that he was smiling at Logan and he had to blink a couple times and pick up his glass to keep it together.

“Good,” Logan said, and then he peaked into the bathroom quickly before pulling his shirt over his head.

“Oh—” Finn dropped the glass. It bounced on the carpet but didn’t break. The champagne splashed over his feet.

Logan’s eyes met his in the mirror, surprised momentarily before he understood.

He had a round scar on the back of his shoulder, another near his lower back, and a third that grazed where his neck met the hard muscle of his shoulder. In the mirror, there were matching scars on his chest and stomach.

Logan touched the scar on his neck, gnarled like it had grazed the skin but left a gaping wound. I saw it, James had said. I saw it, they got him in the head.

Finn inhaled sharply at the thought, the memory of trying to picture it alone in their dark London flat. He squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again. Logan was still there. Still looking at him.

“Sorry,” Finn said. “I wasn’t—I didn’t think about…” It was a bit of a joke, really. After so long picturing it, how had it not even occurred to him that Logan’s body would have scars?

“Not very pretty, hm?” Logan said quietly. He ran a quick hand over his chest. He had a slight tan line at his neck and wrist, like he spent a lot of time outdoors. “I was maybe better when you last knew me.”

Finn wanted to touch him. The bullets looked like stage makeup. Movie set. Sort of like how all the guns looked to him. Like they’d shoot bubbles and air. Like Logan would emerge from the shower and the pink puckers of skin would be gone.

“Logan,” Finn said softly.

Logan would have asked quoi? had he even recognized how he used to speak. Instead he just turned towards him.

“Can I…” Finn realized he was reaching forward. Just a little.

Logan looked at his hands. He set down his crumpled shirt and faced him. “So there is something I can do.”

Finn nodded quickly. The tears were rising in his throat. “Right now, it’s just this.”

Logan let Finn come to him. Their movements were so careful at first, but the moment Logan’s chest was pressed against Finn’s sweater something snapped. He let out a harsh breath and put a scar under his palm like he could protect it.

Finn turned his head into the soft warm place, the nook of his neck. Finn’s place. Logan liked to be kissed there, and God did Finn almost do it, right over the other scar. He just held on, the familiarity of the broad shoulders beneath his hands making him feel airy, almost like he was going to pass out. But then Logan’s arms were around him, too, more hesitant than he would have been before. Lighter in touch. Discovering. He let out a little breath that Finn felt against his shoulder. Logan’s shoulders relaxed.

“Silver.” Logan pushed harder into Finn’s hold. “The ring was silver, wasn’t it?”

Finn kept his tears quiet this time, soft against his cheeks as he nodded. He drew back just enough to pull Logan’s fleur-de-lis from around his own neck and place it around Logan’s. It caught on his curls briefly before settling on his bare chest. “Silver like this.”

“What…” Logan looked down at it. His rested his temple against Finn’s shoulder and picked up the pendant.

“It’s yours,” Finn said. He touched Logan’s fingertips and the warming metal. “Wear it. It might help.”

#Christmas Eve Will Find Me lumosinlove #winterfic lumosinlove 2023 #ficmas #wolfstar #finnlo #sirius black #remus lupin #finn o'hara #spy au

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lambsouvlaki · 9 months

Text

For the Hell of It - Mine

Characters: Jason Todd x fem!oc

Rating and warnings: T, they're naked but not up to anything.

Word count: 1,333

Summary: A quiet conversation in bed, after Jason and her spend the night together for the first time.

Masterlist

They lay naked and sprawled around each other on Jason’s bed. The sweat on their skin had cooled and the soft sheets were tangled haphazardly.

He felt more relaxed than he had been in years.

He lay crossways from Andy, while she sat against the headboard, dyed a soft gold in the half-light of the table lamp. His head rested on one of her thighs while the other leg was carelessly slung across his chest, bent at the knee. He draped an arm over the calf in front of him, enjoying the softness of her skin. She played with his hair, lightly scratching his scalp and drawing contented little hums from him.

She kept threatening to go shower but had made no move to leave. Good. He had no desire to let her go, or any intention of moving at all within the next twelve hours.

He had been so afraid if he made a move it would all be ruined. Their friendship tarnished with the awkwardness of a boundary clumsily stumbled over with no way back.

Yet here she was, hair mussed and body languid in his bed, leisurely inspecting the book on his bedside table.

He had never been inclined to half measures. In for a penny.

“Be mine,” he said.

She looked up from Scalzi’s Old Man’s War. “Okay.”

He had expected demurring. Hesitation. Rejection’s kinder faces.

“Only mine,” he said, wary. He’d had his flings. Rose showed up every now again for a good time. But just about everyone he’d ever been with had been with Dick first, and usually again after. He didn’t want that this time.

She put the book down and looked at him with slight consternation.

“Jason, I’ve been yours alone for a while now.”

His eyebrows rose.

She scoffed. “And here I was worried I was pathetically obvious and you were just being gracious.”

“...I didn’t want to assume.”

She smiled at him. Then she blinked and spoke quickly, “Not that I was just hanging out to get laid. Your friendship means the world to me, if this doesn’t work out I am still going to care about you.”

“I know that.” He idly rubbed her leg, massaging her thigh. He’d had dreams about these legs. He always woke up feeling like he’d crossed a line. “But you said you weren’t interested in anything. With anyone.”

“Sure, two years ago. What about you? I thought you didn’t want anything either.”

He shrugged. “It was easy to say that before what I wanted was right in front of me.” He tilted his head, looking up at the ceiling. “When we met, I didn’t have a civilian life. Jason Todd existed only in the sense that Red Hood had to sleep sometimes.”

The hand in his hair curled gently against his scalp. “And now?”

“I don’t want to live like that anymore.”

“So what do you want? From me?”

He looked sideways, eyes tracing up her leg, over a thatch of curls he was now on good terms with, and up her naked chest to her face. He quirked an eyebrow.

She hit him with a pillow.

He laughed.

“Besides that,” she groused, pulling the pillow back and tucking it behind her. “We spend so much time together that my friends are convinced we’ve been banging all year anyway.”

“...Are they?”

“I, uh, may have shot down Chelsea with more vehemence than necessary when she asked for your number.”

He grinned. “Jealous already, sweets?”

“I wasn’t jealous. I was… invested.”

“Sure. Is that what we’re calling it now?”

She sighed and slouched some more. She looked so good, relaxed like this, so unaffected. He spent too much time around hyper-competent, over-trained paranoid maniacs who couldn’t relax if their life counted on it. He counted among them. The only reason she hadn’t complained about the gun strapped to the headboard that had to be digging into her back was because she was wonderful.

“I swear I didn’t mean to give her the impression we were dating. I got waspish and she drew her own conclusions.”

Guilt twinged in his chest. He rubbed circles into her skin with his thumb.

“You remember that guy who used to be in your study group? Scraggly ginger beard, shared a history paper?”

She tilted her head in thought for a second. “Ed.”

“He liked to talk about all the things he wanted to do to you when it was just guys in the room.”

“Oh.” she scowled. “Gross.”

She didn’t need to know the graphic fantasies he described, or the black rage Jason felt at the knowing little smirks shared with the other men she hung out with. People who called themselves her friends.

“I chased him off. Gave him the impression you and I were something more than we were.”

The hand in his hair stopped moving. “Did you just?”

“He was a dog. No respect for any woman.”

“Ah. But he respected the threat of an angry boyfriend?”

“Pretty much,” he admitted.

“High-handed of you,” she commented. “When I stop feeling all warm inside I’m probably going to be annoyed about that.”

He kissed her knee. “Sorry I told a creep that if he ever talks about my girl like that again I’ll break his jaw.”

“I–No you’re not,” she said, a hand over her mouth to ineffectually hide a smile.

“Na, I’m not. I meant it then and I mean it now. Are you gonna keep pretending you don’t like it when I’m possessive?”

“Hm. Probably too late to make it convincing.”

“Much too late.” He’d been made emphatically, delightfully, aware of how much she liked it when he called her his less than an hour ago.

He twisted and climbed up her body, resting between her legs. She grazed her hands down his sides as he dragged himself up to her head. Her skin pressed against his felt so good and warm. It wasn’t errotic, but it was profoundly intimate. He looked up into her eyes.

“My girlfriend doesn’t have to fend for herself. I won’t tell you what to do, but I get to tell fuckheads to look elsewhere or have their eyes removed. That’s what I want. Let me take care of you the best I can.”

She breathed a light, “oh.” She traced his scarred eyebrow. “Okay.”

He leaned up and kissed her.

It felt so natural. He liked doing that very much.

She pulled back a moment later, and looked him square in the eye. “I want you to give my number to whoever you go to for your emergency, middle of the night surgeries.”

He cocked his head. “I’ll call you if anything happens.”

“And if you can’t? This has been eating me since I found out you’re Red Hood. If anything happened to you, how would I know? Would I ever know?” She blinked quickly, a sudden influx of emotion in her eyes he hadn’t been expecting. “I can’t protect you. You don’t need my protection. That doesn’t mean I don’t care.”

He rested his forehead on hers.

It was against Bat protocol. It put a huge amount of faith in her and demanded trust from him that left him feeling exposed and aching in a number of directions.

He’d already made his decision.

“Leslie Thompkins. The clinic in the Alley. I’ll have you added as an emergency contact. And Alfred already has your details, I’ll tell him you’re the first call when I’m seriously injured.”

“Thank you,” she breathed.

He kissed her again.

“Okay,” she said, when they parted.

“Okay.”

He slid his head into the crook of her neck. Her arms hung loosely over his back and he wormed his around her waist, between her and the headboard. His eyes closed.

“I’m gonna go have a shower,” she said, letting her head roll backwards.

“Sure you are,” he said, not moving. “Off you go.”

“I mean it this time.”

“Uh-huh.”

They fell asleep together soon after.

Next>>

#Jason loves with his whole heart #he doesn't know how to be any other way #pillow talk #jason todd #red hood #jason todd x oc #red hood x oc #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x reader #my fanfic #dc #for the hell of it #fluff

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image-thot · 1 year

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Transformers Cyberverse Yandere Headcanons

It’s back again! What's that yandere! It has been a hot minute since I’ve done a headcanon, so bear with me. What type of yandere are: Shockwave, Soundwave, Bumblebee, Preceptor

Shockwave

Type: Possession Yandere

Shockwave never liked to share his toys, only doing so if it helped the Decepticon cause.

He was also voted the most likely Decepticon to date his work over a hot bot

So it shouldn't surprise anyone that when he did find someone he took interest in, he’d want to keep them all to himself.

After all, you were his and anything he didn't deem necessary for the cause should stay in the safety of his lab right? All for his personal use.

He does find the emotions towards you illogical, to be so heavily invested in one being without a clear gain is illogical.

The first logical to do is thing is to study you and he is not one to be discrete about it. From staring at you for long periods of time to directly asking you very personal questions.

When the questions do stop, you should start to be concerned.

It's a warning that he’s about to start experimenting on you.

Luckily it’s not going to be fatal, as his main objective is to understand you. Like all his experiments and inventions, he needs to know what makes you tick and the best ways that you can be applied.

This starts out as just ordinary vital taking but will progressively get more invasive the more he wants to know and yes it gets sexual very quickly. Unfortunately, he’s going to want to cut you open at some point to take a good look inside your inner workings, but don’t worry he’ll put you back together perfectly.

Don’t get the wrong idea though, he’s not above hurting you.

If you so happen to not want to be his little experiment, he isn’t above training you through punishment.

Don’t want to sit still while he pokes and prods you? That's fine he’ll just strap you down and leave you there for a day maybe two. Have a habit of wandering away? He’ll take a leg or two, but down worry, after he finishes studying them he’ll give them back maybe even build you some better ones if you behave.

Even though he can be very extreme in his actions, he still in a twisted way cares for you and won’t push you too far unless he knows you can take it.

Soundwave

Type: Overprotective Yandere

Soundwave has always been very protective of the things he cares about, laserbeak and the Decepticon cause both of which he would and has killed for.

He’s not the type to just hand out such loyalty to anyone, so you have to be something special to gain his attention.

But once you have gained it you have it for life.

There's almost nothing he would not do for you especially if it is to keep you safe and by his side.

He'll know everything about you, even the things you’ve never told a soul. After all what good would it do either of you if he couldn’t plan for everything and anything?

At first its starts with missions, they are the only danger you’d face and often he’d be going on them as well. It just makes sense and for a while, it’s enough to satisfy his need to protect you.

It's not enough, soon he’s found ways of working with you outside of missions. Even if it’s not technically dangerous, it’s almost certain that other Decepticons would not treat you well if he’s not there.

Pretty soon he can be found with you at any time. From missions to grabbing a cup of energon with you, you can be sure he’s always in the same room as you.

You could consider him a friend, a close one dare you say. So far what he’s done isn’t anything that would have you too concerned, he could be seen as somewhat over-eager to be friends. Unless you have reservations about being constantly around your boss 24/7.

If you aren't eager to be around him he will pull rank. It's not "trying to be friends" Soundwave, it's chief communications officer joint second-in-command Soundwave and he doesn't play around.

He's going to make you listen to him.

He would never purposefully hurt you or put you in mortal danger but he's not above putting obstacles in your path.

He'd make any time you don't spend with him a nightmare. Endless paperwork and inconveniences would be thrown your way and by a totally "random" coincidence would disappear as soon as Soundwave offers to help and you reluctantly accept

If you do happen to be someone who “wanders” from him and his care, he's not going to be above locking you away. You are either put on base confinement or he will lock in chains, neither is what he wants but for your protection, he will do it.

If you happen to be a minicon or human, saying he’ll keep you close is an understatement. He'll use your small size as an excuse to keep you in his dock, it’s safe, warm and he can keep an eye on you at all times.

Everything he does is what he believes is in your best interest and make no mistake if it’s not done his way it’s not done at all.

Bumblebee

Type: Clingy Yandere

If you asked anyone to describe Bee it could be summed up as nosey.

He has a need to be involved in almost anything remotely involving his friends.

It won't take much for him to get attached to you, complementing him, laughing at his jokes or even agreeing with him on a controversial point he tries to make to the other Autobots are all seemingly innocent ways to get on his radar.

When he does take interest in you, expect his over-eagerness to intensify by 200%.

You might see him as that pushy friend who always texts you still wanting to hang out, regardless of if you’ve just spent hours together.

If he isn’t able to be with you, expect him to be moping on his mission or complaining. As soon as he has an opportunity to get to you expect him to take it.

He wants to be with you 24/7 even if it is inappropriate of him, he will not care or more accurately he will not realise.

If you happen to not like your personal space and alone time violated expect him to try every trick in the book to guilt trip you into going against your needs.

If you do stand your ground, he’s going to get creative and not in a good way. He’ll start off by just following you around and hoping you don’t catch him, this isn’t enough to satisfy his need though. Breaking into your room after you’ve gone to sleep is the next natural step for him.

If you do brush him off for another friend expect that they’ll quickly either disappear or start to avoid you. He isn’t going to be above threatening, blackmailing and on the rare occasion killing to get people from distracting you from him

Due to his need to be with you 24/7, he sees no reason why he can’t be your partner. After all, you spend so much time together it's only natural that you two pursue a relationship.

If you don’t have romantic feelings for him, he respects that and isn’t going to force you into anything. Being around you 24/7 as a friend is enough to satisfy him.

He might even go as far as to be your wingman, carefully selecting a partner for you that won't cause him or you any trouble

But don’t be fooled he sees absolutely no reason to not be present at all times in your relationship. He doesn’t want anyone taking you away from him. If you or your partner have a problem with him being the constant third wheel, expect that relationship to end very quickly.

He’s basically a big metal dog with over-attachment issues.

Preceptor

Type: Manipulative Yandere

He treats you how he’d treat other experiments, controlled.

He’s the least likely to appear that he’s actually interested in you in front of others and can come off as a bit of an unfiltered asshole. Even if what he says is technically true most people have common decency.

He’ll constantly question mistakes you make in front of others, no matter how little or how accidental they are.

It honestly is a mystery as to why he took interest in you, maybe you present an ingenious idea, or maybe you happened to get interested in a passion project of his. Or maybe he just liked the look of your frame.

Like anything, he does his research on you and he is thorough. From your first steps all the way to your deepest darkest secrets, he’s learnt it all.

Yes he did set up some hidden cameras in your room, after all, he needs to be able to monitor the progress he makes with you.

Don’t expect him to change how he treats you in front of others, much. Of course, he’ll still point out your flaws in work and your personal life but only he can do that. Even if something he’s said leads to you being harassed by others, he’s not too far behind to give them a stern talk as to why they are inferior or just downright worse than you.

In private he almost does a 180.

When it first happens you'd almost think that you'd died in a horrible accident.

He rarely ever criticizes you in private. If he does, it’s never blunt and always followed with a helpful suggestion" that may not be the best but if you try x the outcome should be favourable for you."

He's not praising every little thing you do but it makes a noticeable difference. It might even make you look forward to working with or seeing him.

Which would go exactly to his plan.

Eventually, he'll try to act less like more of a "normal cybertronian" instead of his usual science-centric self, you might even think you've started to rub off on him. possibly going as far as to say you've changed him for the better.

It won't last though, he'll wait for the perfect situation to reverse his behaviour.

It wouldn't be a small issue, but not something major either. He'd choose something that you'd do every once in a while, maybe it's over something you think is a kind gesture like bringing him a morning cup of energon at the bringing of work.

Regardless of what he chooses, it would naturally be perceived as a kind gesture and you'd usually never ask someone before doing it. But given Perceptor's unique personality and behaviour it would be easy to assume that such a gesture could be considered annoying or rude to him.

He would naturally forgive you, not too quickly but not too slow as to completely lose the relationship he’s built.

He’ll eventually move on to slowly removing any outside relationship you have with others. He has several different methods to use the most effective being rumours and subtle interference with your work. That important work project that you had to show your boss? Somehow it’s missing several key details.

His end goal is to have you wanting his approval, needing his presence almost constantly and willing to do anything for it.

#transformers #transformers cyberverse #cyberverse #shockwave #soundwave #bumblebee #perceptor #yandere headcanons #yandere #yandere soundwave x reader #yandere shockwave x reader #yandere bumblebee x reader #yandere perceptor x reader #headcannons #transformers headcanon

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ressonancee · 1 month

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EXCHANGE/LOVE TRANSIT - S01/EP01 (pt i)

♥ SYNOPSIS: Soonyoung is a man on a mission to get his ex back, even if this means enduring watching her going on dates in a reality TV show - ok maybe he didn't think it through when he thought it was a good idea to go on said tv show. Alternatively; Soonyoung love transit episode.

♥ GENRE: (this is me trying to do) comedy, romance, a little dash of angsty (because they are exes and because it is me writing it I guess);

♥ CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 6925

♥ FEATURING: Wen Junhui as Soonyoung's number one enemy, Xu Minghao, Lee Chan, Boo Seungkwan as a cranky panelist, Seo Changbin as a normal panelist, Girls Day Yura just because I love her, Pi Cheolin as a panelist that nobody knows why he has been cast but he makes it work.

♥ PLAYLIST: 1. VINTAGE - NIKI, 2. LAS JORDANS - TINI, 3. CALL ME - RENGGA JONES, 4. STILL INTO YOU - PARAMORE, 5. LOVE LIKE THAT - SAM KIM, 6. TENTA ACREDITAR - ANAVITÓRIA, 7. URS - NIKI

♥ THEA’S NOTE: Hello hi hi everyone. I’ve been weirdly obsessed with Love transit/Exchange for quite a while. For those who have never watched it, they put 10 people together in a house - 5 couples, and make them go on a date with different people. The funny thing is that you can’t tell people who your ex is. Also after a long debate with myself, I decided to post this as a multichapetered fic. Anyways welcome to part 1, hope you enjoy it.

♥ If you want to read the rest of this/ be tagged click here ♥

♥ LOVE TRANSIT MASTERLIST

[INTERVIEW ROOM][CAMERA 1]

“Do you know you have to think about other options too, right?” The producer asks him. The giant camera is way too close to his face and the producer is sitting just under it - in a little stool that looks utterly uncomfortable. Soonyoung wants to face her, but before this question she told him three different times he needs to stare right at the camera. He is sitting so still that he can feel the energy accumulating on his body, making him almost quick in his seat.

“I am not interested in that,” Soonyoung answers - staring at the camera and trying to not blink too much even if the lights of the studio hurt his eyes.

“But the point of this program is that you are open to dating other people and let her date other people as well,” the producer insisted, and Soonyoung almost laughed. He knows that, for fucking sakes he only got his date because he is a master in rock paper scissor and his ex went on a date with fucking Junhui. He knows the point of everything, he just doesn't really care.

“Like I said, I am not interested in that, my goal with this,” He tries to explain, using his hand to point at everything, the set actually looked way better on camera and it was very flimsy in real life, and everytime he thinks he will break a fake wall. “Is that we get back together,” he grins confidently, “Sorry pd nim but we will get back together before this end.”

He hears the producer groan, he is pretty sure she shouldn’t be groaning and this won’t go to the final cut. He thinks the audio people will handle it, they probably will put a fade in music or whatever, they are professionals.

[EX-CHANGE HOUSE][CAMERAS 2, 3, 4]

When the assistant producer says that he can start walking and enter the house, Soonyoung is ready to just run. But he holds himself back, instead of running he just puts down the handle of his suitcase and grips on the strap. Like that, he thinks, it will be faster than strolling around. He starts walking, the weight on his suitcase is heavy on his arms but he is committed to that already, he won’t ask for the assistant guy to re-do his shot, and he won’t change his mind midway either, it is now a matter of pride. Soonyoung is proud - his ex always told him that - he is too proud for his own good.

He is proud enough to not drop his suitcase when he opens the gate and steps greets him, Soonyoung just groans, because he is proud but not a fool. Ok, maybe he is a fool, again, according to his ex but he likes to think that since they broke up he is a changed man. Eight months is enough time to be reborn into a new man according to Soonyoung experience. He changed his hair, it is way shorter now, and cooler - he likes to think. A few of his friends joked about his short bangs and almost shaved sides but he likes it and he even has a cool slit in his eyebrow. He also changed his clothes, he pays more attention to his clothes now and even his ex would agree with that one - or he hopes so.

His personality didn’t change that much but Soonyoung likes to think he can see things clearly now - like a fog has come down. He always was good with his goal, he stuck to it, he finished things, he was disciplined and he was focused. But he wasn’t very good with balance. His girlfriend, his ex-girlfriend, always talked about how he had those bursts of hyperfocus, she explained back then how he could dance for hours and hours without feeling his body getting exhausted but he couldn’ focus on a single task if he found anything remotely boring. But he is better now, he worked for long months on how he didn’t need to give up in other aspects of his life to succeed professionally. He learned that he doesn’t need to spend twenty hours per day in his dance studio, he learned to trust other people in that aspect.

Damn too many steps, Soonyoung thinks when he finally arrives at the door. He looks around and presses the numbers on the digital keypad, the same assistant producer guy told him a few numbers - he actually wrote down in his note app, he knows himself that he will forget in no time. But the numbers are fresh enough in his head and the doors open. Soonyoung looks around the hall and he thinks he is the first one. Well. Cool. Soonyoung drops his suitcase in the hall and takes off his shoes, walking around without a slipper on - he can’t really bother to search for one right now. He starts looking around, cameras are scattered around the house greeting him in every room.

It is fascinating really, to be a part of the tv show, Soonyoung thinks while he gives the camera in the kitchen a little hand wave. He opens the fridge and it actually has a lot of booze, damn, he is not a good drinker. He goes around the kitchen checking for appliances and almost starts the coffee machine without knowing, he was just pressing random buttons. He hopes the producer teams cut this part. After almost burning his hand with hot water he goes to the living room, one of the walls is completely glass and it makes the sun enter the house, the view of the garden is pretty cool, and there is another staircase outside leading to somewhere. The glass is so clean that when Soonyoung touches it just to see his fingertip smudges it. He exhale thought his mouth, fogging the window and draws with his fingertip a doodle - the same shape of his eyes but with a snout, a little tiger Soonyoung thinks proud of himself, when he turns around another camera is facing him and he just show his work while smiling.

There is another stair leading to the second floor. Weird obsession to have, Soonyoung thinks, staircases. He jumps two steps at a time. He roams around - the rooms seem nice, 3 upstairs and another living room, no television and thank god no cameras in the bathroom. He gets bored after a while, so he goes down to the main floor and sits on the sofa - politely, his hand on his knees. But that too gets boring really quick so he starts kicking his feets around, he did good, Soonyoung thinks to himself, he really chose a good sock today so he is not too worried he is shoeless walking around, his black socks are amazing.

After what seems like three whole hours the door opens again, he hears the sound of the padlock and his heart jumps against his chest, he almost hop on the sofa, the amount of energy he has in his body is enough to make him vibrate like a cellphone receiving a call. He stretches his neck trying to see who it is before the person enters the living room. He sees the shoes before he can actually see the person and for the size of those damn feet Soonyoung knows it is not his ex. A good looking guy enters the room, getting all shy when he sees Soonyoung.

“Hello,” the good looking guy greets him and his voice is on the lower side, Soonyoung thinks he looks so cool.

“Hello,” Soonyoung began, “I am Kwon Soonyoung,” he offered first, “your name?” he says when the good looking guy just stares at him.

“Ah, right,” the guy sitting across from Soonyoung began, “I am Jun, Wen Junhui actually, but you can call me Jun.”

“Jun,” Soonyoung mutters, it fits his name, the guy is a little weird Soonyoung thinks but it is okay.

“So, what's your favorite color?” Soonyoung asks him because he is not allowed to ask anything else really. No question about Jun’s ex, he can’t know his age either, and they are prohibited to talk about their jobs, so Soonyoung tries to make small talk in any way he can.

They fall into a weird silence after a few questions. “This is awkward,” Junhui admitted after a bit making Soonyoung laugh.

After a few minutes another guy arrives, Xu Minghao is his name and Soonyoung is pretty sure he is part of a gothic or emo band. A girl arrives after that, she is cute Soonyoung gives her that but he is not really interested. Then another girl and again a pretty girl because of course. When the fourth guy arrives Soonyoung starts to think that maybe you bailed out and the producer team might be looking for an actress to play his ex, who knows. They are in the middle of asking the blond guy his name and his color, everyone introducing themselves to the new guy when he finally hears the door again. His blood is rushing through his body. When you enter the door a ray of sunshine goes through the window and illuminates all around you, almost like a halo. Soonyoung looks behind him to check if any staff is pointing something at you but nothing.

“Hi,” you greeted looking at everyone, Soonyoung smiled at you, and damn you are even more beautiful how was that possible.

“Wow,” The blond guy says at his side, Lee Chan, he thinks and that alone makes Soonyoung perk up a little bit, “you are shoeless,” the guy added pointing at your feet.

“Ah,” You breathed, your voice low. Soonyoung knows you are shy and before he could say anything Junhui guy was already up and walking around, “I couldn’t really find a slipper.”

“Here,” Junhui gives you a pair of slippers - wait - what about him? Soonyoung thinks but apparently he doesn’t deserve Jun’s attention even though he tried his best to be polite and friendly, and before he knows he is pouting, damn.

When everyone falls silent again, Soonyoung thinks it is his time to shine, “Your name?” he asks politely, trying his best to not make clear that he is still heads over heels over you just with a simple question.

They go around names again but everything is weirdly muffed when Soonyoung focuses on you. Your hair is different now, longer he thinks. You repeat every name, the girls first then Junhui, Chan, Minghao and Soonyoung. He is the last one and he hates every name that falls off your tongue that is not his own. Soonyoung, you mumbled like everyone else's names, and it hits Soonyoung that it has been months since you called his name, and he misses it.

“Does anyone know how to cook?” Lee Chan asks, and Soonyoung is sure he will be the youngest one, there is something in him that just screams maknae.

“I-” Jun starts but when all the eyes turn into him he stutters a little bit and gets shy with all the attention, meanwhile Soonyoung just sharpens his gaze towards the guy, “I can fix something up to dinner.”

“I can help,” you declare, lifting up your hand like you are back in school or something, you are so cute, Soonyoung almost giggles, “I can do the basics so if you need any help,” you say to Jun and then it dawns on Soonyoung and before he knows he is lying through his teeth;

“I can help too,” Soonyoung volunteers, almost raising his hand like a kid in school, “I am a great cook.”

Everyone looks at him but he can only focus on the way you look at him - you know he is lying, and for a second he thinks everyones knows it too even though they just met, but he will die on this hill, he can pretend he is putting a salad together for all the people who don’t eat meat even though he is pretty sure everyone's eat meat, but he is thoughtful like that.

“Okay, so you three can go to the market and cook dinner,” says one of the girls that Soonyoung can't remember the name, “we can clean the kitchen and also the guys can help us with all the suitcases, and we sort out the rooms after dinner.”

[CAR AND MARKET][OUTSIDE CAMERA + GOPRO N 3]

“This is weird isn't it?” The Jun guy asks when you finally sit in the backseat, Soonyoung is in front of you and everything does seem incredibly weird.

“What exactly?” You ask and you hear Soonyoung laugh for the first time in a while and you don’t even know what you feel - everything seems weird, the fact that one go pro is right at your face is weird, the fact that you are in the same vehicle as Kwon Soonyoung is weird, the fact that you said yes to this weird ass idea was weird too.

“I mean,” Jun starts again, falling silent when he starts reversing the car to get out of the garage, “everything? I feel like only now everything is real and it is so weird like, what do you I will be living with my ex for a month.”

“Right?” Soonyoung pipes up, “aren’t you guys excited about that?” he asks and before you or Jun can speak up he starts again, “I am super hyped!”

“You are?” Jun asks, astonished, and you can’t blame him. One of the greatest problems in your relationship was the fact that you and Soonyoung worked somehow on different wavelengths. Soonyoung is someone that is difficult to follow, but once you know him you can start figuring out his patterns and way of thinking - he is predictable, he has a routine into his own madness.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Soonyoung says, looking at Jun and turning his whole body to look at you in the backseat, you just shrug because what else can you do really? Tell him that he is insane was not an option, that alone would make it clear that Soonyoung was your ex.

“I think the fact that this program entails living with your ex for one,” Jun says dead seriously and it is your time to laugh. You thought you would be the last one in terms of thinking this program is a good idea but apparently this Jun guy is beating you to it.

Soonyoung keeps talking about how excited he is and how fun it will be, he goes on and on about how this is an one in a lifetime type of opportunity and you know that even if he sounds a bit over the top he is being honest, and that he is - even if you and Jun finds extremely weird - very excited for it. But it is Soonyoung so of course you should’ve seen that coming.

And after just a few minutes you think that even though he cut his hair, Soonyoung didn’t change that much, when you say you are picking up a basket he is already by your side taking it off your hands, “Let me carry this and you focus on the ingredients,” he says like he has some sort of a plan but deep down you know he won’t let you carry all the weight - you always complain about having wrist pain, tendonitis is a bitch, the fact that Soonyoung still remembers make your heart grow, like a air ballon.

Back then when you were together every time you were at home he would make you drop your phone, computers were also extremely prohibited to use. If your wrist brace were on he would even attempt to feed you - you always hated that and he always threw a fit about it.

“Jun,” you call the guy walking ahead of you mindlessly, “Do you have something in mind?”

“Hmmm,” the guy ponders and you almost laugh at his confused face. He is cute. You give him that but you think that giggling at his face would be too much for one of your first interactions. “Not really,” he says scratching the back of his neck and you can feel the smile forming on your face.

“We should grill meat,” Soonyoung says proudly, bringing you back to reality, “We could buy meat.”

“I actually can make a side dish with fried vegetables,” you try, looking around to see if you can find anything to put together for dinner.

“Oh nice,” Soonyoung pipes up, giving you two thumbs ups. What a dork, but that was Soonyoung and you were used to it, at him acting like you hung the moon in the sky every time you did something that every other adult human could do. You give him a thumbs up back, and when he smiles get even bigger you think you should just run away from this whole thing.

“Then we could also buy some noodles and put everything together,” Jun says “I have a receipt that I think will work together with your veggies.”

“Great, we can cook together while Soonyoung grill the meat,” you say before you start walking by Jun’s side in a vain attempt to run away from Soonyoung.

Soonyoung acts like a kicked puppy.the whole trip to the market. Always behind you, sometimes you bump into him when you spin around looking for Jun to know if you should grab or not grab a pack of soft tofu or a pack of broccoli.

When you pick up onions or carrots, Soonyoung acts like it is the smartest thing ever, and your heart grows a little bit bigger - another pump of air. You think about how Soonyoung is still very much the same person he always was; caring and kind. Every time he assures you in a low voice like he is telling someone a secret - you can take both - he says to you when you ponder if you should buy a red or white wine, you don’t even know if other people enjoy wine but Soonyoung knows you do, and before you can think twice he grabs one bottle of each and put in the basket.

You think that this Soonyoung is the Soonyoung that you missed the most. Of course you missed the loud one, the life of the party, the one who among your friends would make his mission to get people tipsy and happy even though he can’t drink for shit. You miss the one that would make people stand up and sing and dance and every single one of your friends would get so shy while his friend would act like getting up in the middle of a bar or restaurant was not insane behavior. But this Soonyoug, the soft spoken Soonyoung - the one who would always give you assurance when you thought one of your articles was bad, the Soonyoung who always listened to you when you thought you should drop one investigation because your editor didn’t thought the piece was relevant enough, the one who when things were thought was serious and calm to listen to your every word and actually pay attention, you missed him the most, and you missed him the longest because that one vanished before you broke up.

“Stop,” you say in the lowest voice possible, bumping into him so he can give you space.

“What?” He asks - doing the exact opposite of your wishes, he drops his head even closer to you in an attempt to hear you.

“You are making it so clear that you are my ex,” You blurt out shoving Soonyong lightly, “Stop that it is supposed to be a secret.”

“I am not doing anything,” He deflected with a pout on his mouth, and it was kind of cute and you want to beat yourself up. How can you be down so bad for him? You need to get your mind straight to survive. You need at least a 5 meters distance from him.

“You are, go follow Jun,” you say, “or grab a snack or two, we are probably going to drink something”

“Ok, I can grab snacks,” Soonyoung beams, his smile back on his face, “I am great at snacks.”

“Sure you are.” You added.

You look at the camera man holding the camera a few meters away and you exhale.

Could you survive this? Could you survive 30 days of Soonyoung being back in your life? This was a dumb idea, you think while looking at the ice cream fridge, and of course it was a Sonyoung idea. You should’ve said no.

[EXCHANGE HOUSE][CAMERA 5, 7, 9]

“Why are you guys dressed up as powerpuff girls,” Soonyoung hears his ex speak up before he can ever see the other girls. Sometimes he thinks he has tunnel vision - his focus is on you, there is no space left for anyone else.

When he settles down the plastic bags on the kitchen counter and almost runs towards the living room, still a little bit weird, to have his ex right there and not be able to openly talk to her. The whole trip to the market was a torture - going to the market was something you always did with him when you were together. Soonyoung couldn’t cook to save his life so whenever you two would spend time together in his place you needed a market trip.

If Soonyoung tried hard enough you made him creamy garlic chicken pasta, his favorite. Even if you said you were already sick of eating it every week. You also made very good eggs for breakfast. Soonyoung misses those moments the most; the routine of waking up with you, he always waited for you to wake up, sometimes while you made a cup of coffee Soonyoung would run to the nearest baker and buy fresh bread.

“What?” The girl in the green tracksuit says making Soonyoung return to earth. She is setting the table and she looks so offended that he thinks she might drop a plate or two.

“Chan,” His ex called the guy that just arrived in the living room, how are you so good with names? How has Chan's name engraved in your brain already? Soonyoung almost forgot his own name today - not his ex's name though, that one he remembers, “look,” you say pointing at each one, a coy smile on her face, “Buttercup, Blossom and Bubbles.”

“Yeah, I can see it,” Chan says laughing way over too enthusiastically it wasn’t even that funny.

“Who will be the mojo jojo?” Blossom - of course the girl in red, Soonyoung understands it now, asks.

“I don't know but that leaves me as princess morbucks and I kind of hate it,” you complain, “yellow is so not my color.”

Soonyoung wants to say that you look great in yellow. That you look good in everything, that you never once looked bad in your life, but he thinks that that alone would be too much and everyone would know you are his ex, so he doesn’t say anything. He bites his own tongue - he really does and it hurts.

And if the market trip was bad, making dinner was even worse. Everything seemed awkward, you almost didn’t talk with him or Jun, thank god, but everytime you did Jun would giggle and Soonyoung thought about how that was the worst moment of his life - only second for the day of you breaking up. Jun seemed like a very shy and giggly guy, he was indeed charming, and Soonyoung hated that - he was never really a jealous guy but now here he is, freaking out because you are being nice to someone you just met.

Soonyoung thinks he is one step closer to losing his mind. Thirty days of this? He is definitely walking out of this house completely crazy. And what is even worse? Soonyoung told you three different times how he brought chicken breast, and not even once you talked about how you make a mean chicken pasta, and he has been craving that for months now. He once tried eating in a restaurant but didn’t hit the same spot.

“Can I ask you guys something?” Bubbles asks in a low voice, a cup of beer and soju in her hands. There is still a little bit of food on Soonyoung’s plate, mind you it is his second plate but he is just extremely hungry, new experiences makes him hungry. But almost everyone is finished, just munching on a few bites of meat that Soonyoung grilled - he is proud that he didn’t really burn half of it.

“Shoot,” Blossoms beams with a smile.

“Do you guys,” Bubbles starts, she sips on her drink again and he can’t blame her for relying on liquid courage. “Do you guys still have feelings for your ex or that would be weird?”

“I do,” Soonyoung says and you almost get a whiplash, the way that those words leave his mouth is so confident, so sure of his own feelings that make your head spin, “I don’t think it is weird, I mean it depends how it ended, how long was your relationship, how was your relationship,” he finishes with a shrug.

“Wouldn’t that make everything even worse?” Jun pipes up, he says not looking at anyone in particular, looking a little lost on his own feelings. Soonyoung thinks that is the booze, maybe Jun is a worse drinker than him, maybe Soonyoung wins this round. Take that Wen Junhui, Soonyoung 1, Wen Junhui 0.

“I agree with him,” you say pointing at Jun. What the fuck? Is it a tie now?

And you do in fact agree with him. Even since you stepped foot in this house and saw Soonyoung for the first time you wished you were completely over him, but apparently your heart didn’t receive the memo. Because here you were, your heart skipping a beat like a teenager everytime Soonyoung even looked at you.

“Why?” Bubbles ask you, her eyes are so big and so focused that you stutter a bit. She seems truly curious about your opinions and the way your brain was wired, even though she didn’t really seem curious about Jun.

“I just,” You stop to think a little, Soonyoung eyes are glued on you, and now you are the one who needs liquid courage but your glass is empty, “I will have to help the other girls date my ex right?” You added while looking for another beer, “that alone would be even worse if I still had feelings for my ex right?”

“I agree,” Chan says, “but i think that will be weird even if you don’t have feelings for your ex too like it is something it is weird to share in any type of situation.”

“I am the only one then?” Soonyoung asks laughing, he eats another bite of Junhui's noodles and your veggies, and drinks a gulp of his coke. He is a terrible drinker and he won’t cry on the first night.

“I don’t think you are,” Minghao starts, “but I think there are different levels to it, I am not completely over my ex either but I don’t think we should get back together so like, 70% over?”

“I am a hundred percent,” Buttercup says and you start laughing because she is so blunt, “no guys seriously,” she fusses around, “my ex is great, but I think before we broke up we already knew we were over?” She babbled again while someone pressed a cold glass on your arm. When you look at Jun giving you another glass full of beer. “Like, we are friends now and we are cool but 100% over.”

“But even if you are totally over it, being in the same house doesn't shake you up?” Blossoms asks, “because I was like that and being here and sharing this space is fucking me up.”

“Not in my case, no,” Buttercup answers, “what about you?” she says asking you

“Me?” You want to say you are over, you want to say you no longer have feelings for you ex, and you want to be cool and collected like the others, but the way Soonyoung eyes tingles when he looks at you makes you feel like you are a lonely balloon, some kid is hold you down by a flimsy thread, shaking when the wind blows; “I have no idea what I feel right now, I am all over the place.” You groan before drinking from the glass Jun handed to you.

“Ok, not over your ex then,” Buttercup says and makes the whole group laugh but Soonyoung giggles is the only one that rings in your ear.

“You are not the only one you can chill,” Minghao says to Soonyoung and Soonyoung laughs again.

“Thanks god,” Soonyoung cackled, “Imagine being the only one here who still has feelings, but I still think you guys are the weird ones.”

And it is your time to laugh. The group keeps going around asking questions, sometimes it fades to an awkward silence and Soonyoung is the one who speaks up about something completely random to make the group laugh. You guys can’t really talk about much, you can’t talk about your age, or your jobs, or your ex and how long you dated.

Your relationship with Soonyoung was not exceptional in any way. When you look back, even in the end, it was not out of this world. It was an extremely common relationship. Soonyoung was a great boyfriend but that wasn’t enough, and like every relationship ended badly, of course it did. How could it not? You know you broke up because of circumstances - back then Soonyoung was traveling every week working on a tour, his work hours were always unusual; a rehearsal starting at eight or a stage check at ten. It didn’t help that you, as well, had an insane routine, especially when it was election time. Sometimes you wish you covered fashion for a magazine and not national and international politics for one of the biggest TV channels of the country.

In the end, you and Soonyoung ended your relationship because you were too similar. Your commitment to work before anything else matched his work ethics.

You didn’t break up with Soonyoung because he was an asshole, you think that in this situation dealing with a horrible ex boyfriend would be easier; there would be no desire to try again, there would be no heart skipping a beat when Soonyoung says he still feel something for you.

When you look back at your relationship with Soonyoung you think about how it ended before you broke up, before you two come to terms that it wouldn’t work. It ended when you two were so caught up in your life you couldn’t make space for one another, and that, that alone breaks your heart. You didn’t break up because you fell out of love, you broke up because you were no longer a couple, you two no longer able to take care of each other, no longer having the energy to do so.

And that - to you sounds even worse.

“Should we share the rooms?” Minghao’s voice brings you back to reality.

“Rock, paper, scissors and the winner choose first?” Blossom questions.

“Sure.”

[EXCHANGE HOUSE][CAMERA 4, 8]

The second night in the house is somewhat the same as the first one.

Soonyoung doesn’t cook and neither do you, so you guys spend the night just talking with the other people around the table drinking. You sing a little bit, completely out of tune and your rhythm is so bad that it makes everyone laugh. and god, Soonyoung misses you so much he can feel like a physical pain - an ache in his bones, making him feel heavier than he should.

Soonyoung is laughing when he hears the doorbell rings, and everyone is startled by it.

See, the thing is - Soonyoung is not a religious man. He prayed once in a while but as he wasn’t a daily customer he thinks God was very much caught up in other people's problems, those who were more of an habitual client than Soonyoung who prays once in every six months when something goes terribly wrong in his life. But when Minghao lays all the little pics on the table after reading the cue card about the guys choosing the dates Soonyoung knows he is in for a win. If poker was that easy he would be rich.

He knows very well that the wall with a duck neon sign is your favorite coffee, the place that you two used to go to almost every day.

“How do we do this?” Soonyoung asks, all the guys look a little fascinated by the pictures while the girls look like they are about to have a heart attack.

“Do you already have your pick in mind?” Lee Chan questions him astonished.

“Of course,” Soonyoung says proudly, all eyes are on him, and before he knows he is already bending over the table and sticking his hand out, “Can I just pick or?”

“Which one?” Minghao asks, eyes fixed on Soonyoung’s hand. And the tension is so high and Soonyoung kind of loves it, it reminds him of those few minutes before entering on a stage, “What if someone else wants your picture?”

“The duck one,” Soonyoung remarked plainly because he doesn’t really see a reason to lie, “It is cute”

“Me too,” Junhui says and Soonyoung can feel the muscle of his neck almost snap, the aftermath of a whiplash. He blinks looking at the guy in the eyes and at that moment he wants to kill Junhui, he really wants to - kill his own fucking roomate in a tv show, “Let’s do rock paper scissors”

“I said first though” Soonyoung complained and it is childish but he doesn’t really care. If it is to get his way he will probably be even more childish.

“Yeah but you could pick that one if nobody wanted it,” Junhui nagged, almost matching Soonyoung in the childish level. And Soonyoung hates it, most people didn’t tried to go down on Soonyoung’s level. He is not used to someone going so low.

“Can you guys just do rock paper scissors already? It is stressing me out,” Buttercup says by your side, she is already running her nails.

“Ok, let’s go,” Soonyoung says calling Junhui onto the battlefield, he is already warming up his wrist, this is a war and he will bring up his heaviest gunnery.

And Soonyoung isn’t the number one believer, and he doubts God or Jesus or even an angel will listen to him, but yet, he prays for a second or two. And when people say three Soonyoung thinks he hears the angel’s voice singing hallelujah when he sees that Jun threw scissors against his rock.

Soonyoung wins, and he almost screams. Getting up and lifting his hand like it is a gift to beat Junhui on rock papers and scissors, he is almost vibrating - happiness filling his whole body. He looks at his own hand, the neon duck pic between his fingers, his most prized possession.

“Are you that happy?” You ask him, “that’s kinda suspicious Soonyoung.”

“Yeah,” he says, finally back in reality and sitting down after picking up the picture with the little neon duck in it, “the duck is cute there is nothing suspicious.”

“Wow,” Bubbles says laughing, “he totally chose his ex.”

“He did, didn't he?” Minghao pipes up, “thank god it will be in secret.”

[INTERVIEW ROOM][CAMERA 1]

“Why did you choose the picture with the duck?” Is the first thing the producers after the girl with the slate get off the frame.

Soonyoung feels more at ease now. He knows how it works - stare at the camera, answer the question with more than a yes or no, and let the people doing the heavy lifting in the editing room. Even though the producer is staring at him with a scowl he is somewhat used to it too, she is always like that. Even back in the interviews prior to the house, she always looked like a step away from a mental breakdown.

At some point Soonyoung just accepted that being angry and stressed may be part of her nature, some people are worriers, and he is sure that 80% of the time she is not really angry with him, so he just live his life diligently shooting her program without caring too much about it.

“Oh,” Soonyoung giggles at her bluntness, he really thinks it is funny enough to clap his hand and all that, “I knew it was my ex picture,” he says in a voice full of pride, “thank God I was super lucky, Junhui was like I want that too but-” he lifts his hand, “I really think I was blessed.”

“But why?” The producer tries again, she crosses her legs and writes something in her notebook, “We know you choose because she is your ex and you knew that it was her picture, but why”

“Ah, I think,” Soonyoung takes a pause to think about it - he really didn’t even think about why, it just felt right. “It is the first date right? So I guess it's just me trying to shoot my shot earlier on and making things clear.”

“Cut,” The producer says louder, “They are gonna be the first couple,” She says to her assistant, “there is no way we can go around without making it clear they are a couple, the editor rooms are not doing magic or miracles yet.”

#kwon soonyoung fic #kwon soonyoung fanfic #hoshi fic #hoshi fanfic #seventeen fanfic #t: seventeen #t: kwon soonyoung #t: writing #t: exchange series #t: exchange s01ep01

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