#i’m sure that others have worded this better… i’m just exhausted and rambling
Text
Listen: if you’re questioning your sexuality or gender and having a really difficult time figuring stuff out, you might wanna try reframing your thinking from “what am I?” to “what do I want?”
If you want to have sex with men, do it! If you want to go on hormones because the physical affects are desirable to you, do it! If you don’t want to have sex at all, (don’t) do it!
Labels can be a wonderful thing, don’t get me wrong, but they can also cause you to second-guess yourself into paralysis if you give them too much importance. You can always label your identity later on if you want to, but, in the meantime, don’t let stress over which label is “right” stop you from doing what makes you feel fulfilled in the here and now.
#idk this is random but this is what’s helped me and i feel like it could help others as well#i used to struggle with a lot of ‘but i can’t do x thing because what if i’m not really y identity?? how can i be SURE????’#and it’s just like. it doesn’t MATTER!!!!!!#if i wanna do x thing - i should do it regardless of identity… identity is beside the point completely#that’s what I’ve had to teach myself - and i’ve gotten SO much more confident because of it#because i stopped trying to stare into my soul and discover what i *am* (intangible and subjective) and started just focusing on#what i *WANT* (easy to figure out and objective)#and that’s made all the difference#so yeah!!!!#dunno what to tag this haha#pride month#lol there u go#i’m sure that others have worded this better… i’m just exhausted and rambling#but i wanted to put this out there anyway while i was Thinking About It! :))
679 notes
·
View notes
Text
all i see is gold - pjs (m)
this work contains smut - minors please do not interact
pairing. jay x fem!reader
synopsis. Pretending to be your number one's rival girlfriend to please his parents isn't how you would usually spend a Thursday night, but you really owe Jay a big one this time. You'd sworn this was just a one-time thing - and yet when his parents ask you to come again, the word 'yes' is out before you can stop it. Before you know it and much to your dismay, your feelings for Jay start to change, and you're in too deep to backtrack.
genre. college au, academic rivals to lovers, fake dating au, rich rich millionaire ceo's son jay x poor ass scholarship part-time job reader
warnings. heeseung is a mega asshole sorry to this man, slight violence like the girls are fighting, these two are pathetically in love w each other it's laughable actually, rich people being annoying slightly and also y/n's friends having way too much knowledge about fanfiction tropes... i like my fourth walls broken
word count. 27.1k
a/n. hi sisters user asahicore is back with another repost because she can't be asked to come up with anything original... sorry! i did add a new scene to this fic for.. character development. hope you guys enjoy it, as always let me know your thoughts otherwise i will find you and hold you at gunpoint, have fun love you stay healthy keep slaying bye bye!
“Actually, I think what you just said is complete bull.”
Jay rolled his eyes for the thousandth time in an hour and a few sniggers were heard around the room.
Your tutor sighed and, in an exhausted tone, asked you to “keep it polite, please. This is still a classroom setting.”
“Right, sorry.” You cleared your throat and sat up straighter. “I completely disagree with your statement, Jongseong. Just because a movie has young teenage girls as its target audience doesn’t mean it is completely insipid and has no value, like you’re insinuating. If you look at Mean Girls, for example-”
Jay scoffed. “Oh please, you’re not actually going to use Mean Gir-”
“Ah, would you look at the time? Class is over,” your tutor interrupted. “You can all go home and ponder the riveting discussion Jay and Y/N led today.”
You were pretty sure you heard a general sigh of relief from your classmates. After all, you couldn’t really blame them: it was only the first tutorial of the semester for that course and Jay and you were already at each other’s throats, having something to say about every idea the other put forward, no matter how small.
“Oh, and Jay, I do have to side with Y/N here. There’s a surprising amount of things that can be said about that film,” your tutor admitted with an apologetic smile. You, however, were harboring a triumphant expression. Nothing better than having the tutor agree with you against Jay.
As you packed your stuff away, mentally patting yourself on the back, Jay approached you, looking visibly annoyed. “Seriously, Y/N? Symbolism in Modern Cinema? Since where do you even care about movies?”
You gasped dramatically and put your hand over your heart, feigning shock. “Why, I’m offended that you think you’re the only one who’s allowed to love cinema, Jongseong.”
“Yeah, it’s my thing!” he whined like a child, and you gave him a look that hopefully made him reflect on what he’d just said.
You started walking out of the room and he followed, a step behind you. “I mean, there’s no way you didn’t know I was taking this class. Are you like, obsessed with me or something?”
“Yes, Jongseong, that’s exactly the case. I’m sooooo obsessed with you, I took this class just to see you.”
You were obviously joking, but he looked at you with a smirk and said, “I wouldn’t put it past you. I wouldn’t put it past anyone, to be honest; I mean I am the most good-looking, smartest, richest guy on camp- Ouch! That hurts!”
You had just punched him in the shoulder, not wanting to listen to his self-indulgent ramblings. “Get your head out of your ass, Park. I just thought it would be an interesting class. Why are you even taking it, anyway? I don’t think a cinema course is gonna teach you much on how to run daddy’s company,” you asked him, a smirk teasing your lips.
He rolled his eyes (you thought they might stay stuck at the back of his head, with how often he did that) and took a tone one might use to speak to a child. “You see, Y/N, I also major in Visual Studies. I’m not a single honors Econ major like you. Loser.”
He’d added the last word with a playful smile on his face, purposefully trying to rile you up. You were about to reply with an equally petty remark when you heard your name being called out.
“Y/N! Wait up!”
You could recognize that voice anywhere. Your heart started beating a thousand times a minute and you felt your hands get clammy. As you turned around, you forced a relaxed smile and told yourself to stay calm, but as soon as you made eye contact with the boy, all rational thought left your brain.
“H-hi, Heeseung.” You heard Jay snort behind you but were too entranced by Heeseung’s presence to tell him off.
Clearly enjoying your nervousness, Heeseung smiled at you and bent down so that he came directly face to face with you. “It was nice seeing you last Friday. You should come to our parties more often, not many people can set fire to the dance floor like you did.”
Your cheeks had already turned bright red when he’d called your name, but now you probably looked as crimson as a fire extinguisher. Over the weekend, you’d tried so hard to forget about that party where you had gotten black-out drunk and made a fool of yourself on the dance floor. Sure, you’d had a lot of fun, but when you remembered that Heeseung literally lived in the frat house that had hosted the pre-start of term gathering, you’d felt so embarrassed and wanted to never have to face him ever again. Yet here he was, and he had obviously seen you.
“O-oh, right, haha. Um, I was pretty drunk, but, yeah, um, it was f-fun.” You cringed at yourself. Where was the Y/N that had torn down Jay’s every argument just moments prior? You were usually self-assured and confident, but whenever you were around Heeseung, you didn’t know how to act.
Heeseung stood up straighter and patted your head. You thanked yourself for having washed your hair that morning. He chuckled and said, “That’s good to hear. Guess I’ll see you around, then?”
“Yeah!” you replied with a tad too much enthusiasm.
“Great.” As he walked past you, you didn’t need to turn around to see the nasty looks exchanged between Heeseung and Jay.
“Jongseong.”
“Heeseung.”
The venom with which they had spat the other’s name would’ve sent a chill down your spine any other time, but right now, you were too busy mooning over what had just happened. Like many girls on campus, you’d had a crush on him since freshman year; but unlike most, you’d never actually tried to do anything about it. Realistically, you could probably bag him - Heeseung could be seen with a different girl at every party and didn’t seem to be too picky about who he finished the night with. But you also couldn’t stand the idea of being just another drunk fuck to him. So, you’d never revealed your feelings to him, although he could most definitely see the effect he had on you.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Jay burst into laughter. You turned around and looked at him, arms crossed, waiting for him to be done with an impatient look on your face. When he finally caught his breath, he had tears pooling at his eyes and was holding onto his belly.
“H-hi, Heeseung,” he breathed, trying to imitate you by making his voice higher in pitch but laughing too hard for it to come out properly.
“There’s nothing funny about this, Jongseong.”
“Oh, but there is, Y/N. And you know what the worst part is? You could do so, so much better than that guy. I mean, he’s a Business major, for fuck’s sake.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” you asked hotly, starting to get defensive.
“You’re studying Econ, Y/N. Dating a Business major, that’s like, the highest betrayal possible.”
You rolled your eyes at his stupid values and started walking towards the exit of the building, bumping into his shoulder on the way. He started following you again and added, “It’s not even just about that, Y/N. You know his reputation, he’s clearly bad news. There’s no point in liking a guy like that.”
Because you knew how much he hated it, you always made sure to call him Jongseong instead of Jay. But right now, you didn’t feel like joking around. You turned around abruptly, Jay almost bumping into you, and looked at him pointedly. “Look, Jay, I know you and Heeseung have this weird competition between the two of you of whose dad can make more money. But that doesn’t give you the right to tell me I shouldn’t like him.” And with a mumble, you added, “I can’t help liking him, okay?”
You went on your way again and Jay caught up with you so that the two of you were now walking side by side. Sighing, he said, “Whatever. When he inevitably hurts you, though, I’ll say I told you so.”
—
After flipping off Jay as your way of saying goodbye, you joined your friends in the cafeteria. You told them about your encounter with Heeseung, and as much as they wanted to support you, they couldn’t help but think your behavior at the party on Friday was hilarious.
“I wasn’t gonna show this to anyone, but I can’t hold it in anymore…” Sunoo said, pulling out his phone.
It wasn’t hard to guess what he might be hiding in there, so you quickly protested, “It’s been three days, Sunoo. I’m sure you can hold in whatever it is longer than that.”
He looked at you with a sheepish smile and said, as if he didn’t have a choice but to show everyone, “It’s so funny though.”
Sieun and Keeho were urging him to show them, so you just hung your head as Sunoo pressed play. You didn’t even need to look at the video to know what it was: even in his drunken state, Sunoo had had the foresight to film you as you danced like there was no tomorrow, knowing this was a special occasion. Your friends tried to reassure you that you didn’t look that bad and you just seemed to be having fun, but the sniggers they tried to hold back in vain told you otherwise.
Keeho seemed to take pity on you when seeing your defeated expression. “Y/N, I promise you it’s not that bad. You were very obviously drunk, and so was everyone else. If anybody remembers this, they’re probably thinking that you were fucking awesome. Can’t you see how everyone is cheering you on in the video?”
With an exasperated sigh, you replied, “I don’t care that everybody saw me. I care that Heeseung did. I only started drinking that much because I thought it’d help me relax and talk to him. I didn’t think I’d go wild on the dance floor.”
Your friends exchanged a look and immediately burst into laughter. You wanted to get mad at them, but even you had to admit the whole situation was pretty funny. You let them make as much fun of you as their hearts desired, then, to change the subject, told them about the tutorial you had in the morning with Jay and how much fun it had been arguing with him.
Sieun was looking at you thoughtfully, until she said, “You know, I think it’s…” she paused for a second, trying to find the right word, “interesting, how much effort you put into getting into the same class as Jay when you could’ve directed that energy towards getting into one of Heeseung’s class.”
The sudden statement took you aback. “Well, I wouldn’t say I put that much effort into it…” you stammered in an attempt to defend yourself.
“Y/N,” Keeho started, an accusatory tone to his words, “you literally asked Jake to tell you what courses he was taking this semester and when his tutorials were, and when you somehow managed to be enrolled in a class that’s supposed to be reserved for Visual Studies students, you emailed the tutor to make sure you’d be in the same group as Jay. I’d say that requires some effort.”
You huffed, mildly offended. “I- Well- I just thought it’d be fun to argue with him about something else than economics, you know. There’s only so much to say about that.” Your friends didn’t look very convinced. “Plus, there are no classes that Heeseung’s taking that seemed interesting, and even if they were and I managed to get into them, I just would’ve stuttered trying to answer easy questions. At least if I’m in a class with Jay, I know it’ll be fun.”
After that last sentence, Sieun looked at you like you had proven her point. What a smartass, you thought. What was she even trying to prove?
“Is no one gonna say it?” Sunoo asked, bewildered, looking around at your friends. “It sounds like you like him, Y/N.”
Oh.
Your automatic response was to go, “Pfffft,” but when Sieun and Keeho didn’t disagree with Sunoo, you looked at them, wide-eyed. “Are you guys serious? I don’t like Park Jongseong, that’s ridiculous.”
Sure, you liked arguing with Jay, that wasn’t a secret. That didn’t mean you liked him, or anything like that. Just the thought made you shiver. Dating Jay had never even occurred to you; as soon as you’d met, you had taken on a rival-like relationship, arguing about everything and anything. Sure, he was smart, and not too bad-looking, and he was really rich, and when he wanted he could actually be quite nice - but that was not the point! Most of the time, he was just annoying and argued with you for no reason other than to rile you up, and had the most unreasonable opinions you’d ever heard. He took his wealth for granted and sometimes came across as so privileged it made you want to puke.
Sieun took your hands in hers and tried to convince you with her eyes, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. “But think about it, Y/N. It’s the enemies to lovers trope!”
You snatched your hands out from her grip and gave her a pointed look. “This isn’t Wattpad, Sieun, this is real life. And Jay and I aren’t enemies, we’re merely rivals.”
“Even better!” she exclaimed.
“I completely agree with Sieun,” Sunoo said. “Y/N, you’re such a rivals to lovers type of gal.” You rolled your eyes, but Keeho was fervently nodding his head in agreement.
“By the way, did you guys hear about his parents’ company throwing a fundraiser?” Keeho said. This piqued your interest, but after your friends’ accusations, you couldn’t look too excited about anything Jay-related, so you nonchalantly asked him to go on. “It’s for some charity, they’ve invited all the big names, and apparently it’s gonna be huge so they need some people to waiter. I’m thinking of applying. It pays really well and it’s gonna be so fancy. It’s not like I’ve got much else to do that night anyway.”
“When is it?” you asked, still trying not to sound too interested.
“Friday in two weeks.”
“Well, if it’s a Friday, I’ll be getting wasted, so count me out,” Sunoo replied.
“I’d come, but the idea of serving rich people as they give out ten thousand dollars when they could give a million and it wouldn’t even affect them in the slightest, not to mention having to do it with a smile on my face, makes my skin crawl, so no thanks,” Sieun said. She wasn’t wrong, but this was also Jay’s parents you were talking about. Not only would Jay be there, and your presence would surely piss him off, but his dad’s company was one of the top of the country and being introduced to their world, maybe even getting to know some people there, even just as a waitress, could really benefit you in the long-term. You’d never admit it to him, but you’d been dreaming of working there ever since you’d first heard of it. Nothing might come out of this, but it was worth trying.
“What about you, Y/N? You in?”
You looked at Keeho and said, “Yeah, let’s do it.”
—
The next time you saw Jay was for your Economics of Cities and Regions lecture a couple days later. As appropriate of the top students, you two always sat at the very front row along with only a few other brave students. Keeho was always bugging you to sit with him at the back, but you liked being able to look the professor in the eye so they could see how much attention you were paying to them. You listened carefully to the whole lecture, and when it ended, you turned to Jay and called his name in a sickly sweet voice, smiling as warmly as you could. He turned to you with a horrified look on his face.
“Please never do that again.”
Your smile instantly dropped. You should’ve known there was no point trying to be nice to him. “So, I’ve heard about your dad’s firm’s fundraiser…”
Before you could even finish your sentence, he interrupted you. “No. No way. You’re not working there. Nope. Not happening.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because this is an important night for me to make myself known as the CEO in line and I can’t have you distracting me.”
You didn’t question why he considered you a distraction and just pressed further. “C’mon! I promise I won’t be in your way.” He looked at you as if to say I don’t believe you. “I need the money.”
“Then get a part-time job.”
“I already have one! And it doesn’t pay very well.”
He looked at you and crossed his arms over his chest. No, you didn’t notice how his shirt tightened around his biceps. Shut up. Exasperated, he asked, “Do you even know what this fundraiser is for?”
That hadn’t even crossed your mind. Why did you need to know what it was for? All you needed was to work there and make some money. You just shrugged “No.”
He rolled his eyes at you. “You’re unbelievable. It’s to help students in need of scholarships. You know how my parents sometimes pay for students’ tuition fees? Well,” he sighed, and started to pack up his stuff. “This is to encourage CEOs of other companies to do the same. They’ve invited a few students to talk about why scholarships are important for them.”
Interesting, you thought. It’d have been nice to be one of those students, but being a waitress was already good enough. You’d have to be quicker to get the role next time. “I’ll be part of the waitering team, so I won’t embarrass you, don’t worry.”
After a beat, Jay asked, “Why are you even telling me this? I can say no all I want, I’m not the one deciding on the staff. I’d just really, really appreciate it if you didn’t come.”
You eyed him for a second until realization hit you. Right. It wasn’t like Jay had any say in this, so why were you trying to get him to agree? It had just seemed natural to you that you’d talk to him about this.
You shook your head and said, “Well, I’m gonna go anyway. I just thought I should let you know. That way you know you’re gonna need to bring your best game to impress me.”
You noticed Keeho waving his arm impatiently at you, waiting for you to leave the lecture theater. Jay watched you walk away, and he couldn’t stop the smile spreading on his face.
—
“So… Y/N will probably be working at the fundraiser,” Jay said, looking down at his notes. As on most days, Jake and Sunghoon were over at his place, half-studying, half-messing around.
The two boys in front of him groaned in unison. He raised his head and added defensively, “What? I’ve barely said anything yet.”
“Yeah, but you’re talking about Y/N. Again,” Jake said, as if stating the obvious.
“You know, I’m actually surprised he’s managed to not mention her for that long. It’s been what, fifteen minutes since we got here?” Sunghoon half-joked.
Used to his friends’ teasing, Jay ignored them and continued. “On any other occasion, I’d be more than happy to have her around” - cue another groan from Jake and Sunghoon - “but I really have to impress my parents and all the guests that evening. If I don’t, I’m gonna have to work twice as hard.”
Indulging his friend’s rant, Jake asked, “What’s wrong with her being there? She’s not gonna go around and tell everyone you’re a little shit as she hands them champagne glasses.”
Jay rolled his eyes. “No, of course not, but I’m gonna be hyper-aware of her presence and I don’t want it to distract me.” A third groan. “Plus, I don’t like the idea of her being there as a waitress. She should be with the students who talk to the guests, she deserves it more than anybody I know.”
After a beat, Sunghoon, with gracious subtlety and tact as always, added, “You know, if you had just manned up and asked her out in freshman year when you still had the chance, maybe you could’ve taken her to the fundraiser as your girlfriend and not have her go there as a waitress. Just saying.”
“It’s 2022, Sunghoon, nobody says things like ‘man up’ anymore.”
“You dumbass, is that all you’re hearing from what I just said-”
“What I think Sunghoon is trying to say,” Jake cut in, “is that this could have been avoided had you had the guts to tell her how you feel. But rest assured, my friend, it can still happen. No such thing as too late.”
“You always say that, but how the fuck am I supposed to ask her out when she’s only ever seen me as her rival? Plus, she’s head over heels for that prick.”
Sensing that Sunghoon was getting ready to deliver another one of his punchlines, Jake quickly replied. “Who cares about Heeseung? It wouldn’t be hard to make her see what an asshole he is. And once that’s done, you can just give her the Park charm,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Sunghoon fake gagged at the thought of his friend trying to flirt, and even Jay had to admit he hated how Jake had formulated his sentence. “That’s all I do though. As soon as we met, we got into arguing, and that’s just how we communicate now. She wants competition, so I give her competition. I don’t know what else to do.”
His friends sighed, unsure what to tell him after having had the same conversation hundreds of times. “Did you ask her why she took that cinema course? I thought it was weird she asked me for all that info. She wanted me to keep hush-hush about it, too,” Jake asked.
Jay thought for a second, then answered, “I did ask her if she was obsessed with me.” A fourth, deserved, groan. “She just said she thought the class seemed interesting. She didn’t even know I was a double major, by the way.”
Jake and Sunghoon chuckled, both thinking but not daring to say that, indeed, no one knew Jay also majored in Visual Studies. The three boys continued chatting for a while until they fell into silence and finally started getting some work done.
Jay managed to get you out of his head for a couple hours, but when his friends left and he was alone, his thoughts immediately drifted back to you. When the two of you first met in freshman year, you had become instant rivals, both top of your class, and always disagreeing on everything. He hadn’t minded the dynamic at first: he thought your ideas and the conversations that stemmed from them were always interesting, and he had a lot of respect for you. He wanted to know why you thought that way or what made you say certain things, and soon enough he wanted to know everything about you. He’d noticed things like how you chewed on your pen when you were in deep reflection, or how you’d look intently at anyone who was talking, as if you were making mental bullet points of their arguments only to break them down afterwards. When he finally realized his feelings for you (not without help from Jake and Sunghoon, who thought he couldn’t get any more obvious), he felt like your rivalry-almost-turned-friendship had gone too far, and you’d think he was stupid for liking you. It didn’t help that your confident attitude always broke down in front of his arch nemesis Lee Heeseung, making it painfully clear that you had a crush on him.
That night, he kept tossing and turning in his bed, trying to fall asleep. He hated the idea of you having to be there as a waitress, handing out drinks and mini toasts to entitled guests who probably wouldn’t even look at you. There had to be a few strings he could pull, right?
—
In all twenty years of your life, you had never been to a place like this. As soon as you’d entered the lobby of the building in which the fundraiser took place, you’d been overwhelmed by the sheer extravagance of the room. Every surface was shiny marble, the ceilings were at least fifteen meters high and the whole place was lit up by tiny wall lamps. You were almost scared to see what the actual ballroom would look like.
The fundraiser started at 8:00 p.m. but the staff had been advised to come earlier to prepare everything. You went further in, and now that you had somehow acclimated to your surroundings, you noticed how busy everyone was. People were running around, going from the kitchen to the back room to the main hall in quick strides. You tried getting one woman’s attention, hoping she could direct you to where you were supposed to go.
“Sorry, hi, where do the wai-”
She stopped dead in her tracks and barely looked at you as she whipped out a sheet of paper from her blouse pocket and asked for your name.
“Um, Y/N-”
She checked something off and looked up at you and smiled. “Great, follow me.” You had no time to ask anything else before she swiveled on her heels again and marched towards another room, you in tow behind her. “We’ve got a script ready for you. You just need to learn it in time for tonight and then use your charm on the guests. Oh, and don’t worry about your outfit and all that, we’ve got it covered. Good luck!” And with that, she was off.
Script? Outfit? What was all this about? You panic-texted Keeho, telling him some lady had dragged you somewhere and told you to learn a whole script. When he didn’t answer after five minutes, you assumed he must be busy helping out, but it made you panic even more. You looked around the room and noticed a girl you thought you recognized from one of your classes. You walked up to her, and after saying hi, asked her what the hell was going on here.
She looked at you a bit oddly, as if it didn’t make sense you didn’t know where you were, but clarified things nonetheless. “Basically, the six of us are going to be wearing these tags so that the guests know who we are, and we’re gonna give them a pity story about how we’re so poor but also so smart and able to change the world if only they give us money. That’s what the script is for, it just makes it a bit nicer.” Right, that’s what Jay had told you. But why were you here when you had signed up to be a waitress? It was what you had wished for, but it made no sense whatsoever.
Registering your still confused expression, the girl went on, “They’re also gonna give us nice outfits and make us look more presentable. But not too much, you know, cause a thousand dollar gown wouldn’t really fit with the scholarship kid aesthetic.” You laughed with her. You had to admit the whole situation was a bit ridiculous, but if it could help you out, you would take it. You had needed to take out a loan when you started studying, and the enormous debt you would be in as soon as you stepped out of college already stressed you out.
You learned your script, which was actually just more like detailed examples of the things you should say and what direction your conversations with the guests should take, until somebody called out your name, telling you it was time to get you ready. You were led to another room which was full of clothing racks holding fancy dresses and suits. Your immediate thought was that the clothes in this one room were probably worth more than your entire house.
You could only admire the room for a few moments before a stylist threw a dress in your arms and practically pushed you into a dressing room. You took a good look at black dress before putting it on. It wasn’t overly fancy; the girl you had talked to was right, it wouldn’t make sense for you to look like you were the richest person there. With its modest cleavage and mid-thigh length, it was what you assumed to be formal enough for this type of event, and surprisingly fit you like a glove. It made you look put-together and accentuated your features in the subtlest way.
When you walked out of the dressing room, the stylist eyed you up and down, adjusting the dress here and there, then stepped back and mumbled absent-mindedly, as if thinking out loud, “Wow, he does have good taste.”
You didn’t have the time to ask her what she meant as she had already turned away, looking for jewelry to finish off your outfit. The earrings, necklace and ring she gave you weren’t huge 20 carat diamonds, but you’d never worn such delicate jewelry before, you were almost too scared to move with them on you in fear of breaking them. The stylist, however, didn’t seem too fussed, and as soon as she was done, said, “Well, that’s all for me. Off you go to hair and makeup now!”
Hair and makeup? You were going to get your hair and makeup done by professionals? You felt like a celebrity. Your whole life, your mom had cut your hair, and you bought your makeup at the drugstore.
While they didn’t make you look like a Hunger Games Capitol citizen, when they were done with you, the reflection that looked back at you in the mirror was uncanny. You were still you, there was no doubt about that, but you looked like a perfect version of yourself, which only makeup expertly applied could create. Although they’d never seen you before, the makeup artist had managed to accentuate or make disappear lines you had never noticed on your face before, and the hair stylist had done your hair in a simple but very flattering manner, letting it cascade naturally down your shoulders.
The stylists let you admire yourself for a few moments, knowing you probably weren’t used to such pampering, but soon ushered you out to the ballroom; the fundraiser was just about to start, and you needed to be there for the beginning of it. You were made to sit at a table with the other students at the front, close to the stage. An organizer came to see you and explained how the evening was going to go down. Most of the evening would be spent standing, chatting to the guests and persuading them to donate, except when the main course was served. There was no fixed seating chart, so you could go with whomever invited you to sit with them. All in all, your goal was to be as likable as possible, and get guests to understand why scholarships were important without sounding desperate, just like the script indicated.
Tapping your foot nervously, you watched as more people trickled in, each looking richer than the previous. Soon enough, the whole room was seated, and a man you recognized as Jay’s dad arrived on the stage, welcomed by polite applause. You listened intently to his welcome speech, and you could see Jay’s presence and charisma in him; every word of his seemed to be thought out and to have purpose. He did a spectacular job at kicking off the fundraiser, and you were clapping enthusiastically when he was done, not expecting what he was about to do.
With an extended hand, he pointed at you and the five students you were sitting with. “Of course, this wouldn’t be possible without these six brilliant students whom we have the honor of welcoming tonight. Would you all come up on stage with me?” he asked warmly, although you knew it wasn’t really a question. You all looked at each other bemusedly, but you didn’t have much of a choice, so you all got up and walked up the stairs to the stage.
You hadn’t realized how many people were attending until you were standing right in front of them. The bright spots lighting the stage made it hard to distinguish anyone’s face in the crowd, which only made your position more intimidating to you. Thankfully, you didn’t have to introduce yourself; Jay’s dad did it for you, and after a few minutes, you were free to walk off the stage and start mingling with the guests. Whew.
As soon as the six of you stepped off the stage, guests started approaching you, engaging you in conversation right away. You were a bit taken aback, but remembering you needed to be perfect tonight, you put on the most genuine smile you could muster. Them coming to you was better than having to chase after them.
An hour and a half passed, and you had been engrossed in so many conversations that you hadn’t noticed so much time had already gone. The only time your attention had been pulled out was when Keeho came to your group, offering you toasts of caviar and bubbly champagne, and discreetly (or at least as discreetly as Keeho could be, which wasn’t very) gave you a wide-eyed look, which you returned. You had no idea why you weren’t working like him either.
When somebody announced the main course would soon be served, a lot of guests went to sit down, so you were now stuck with the most pretentious man you had ever talked to. All the other guests, no matter how rich or famous or successful they were, had managed to stay somewhat humble and not flaunt how much higher they were in society than you, but it seemed that it was all this man knew how to do. You knew you needed to stay polite even in front of scum like him, but it was hard giving him your undivided attention when he was going on and on about basic economic principles you had learned in your first year of college. Your eyes started drifting around the room, until they fell on a certain someone.
Lee Heeseung was here. Of course he was; his parents, although they were rivals to the Park family, were still huge names in your country’s economy, and they couldn’t not be here tonight. Heeseung’s presence wasn’t required, but you imagined it couldn’t hurt his image to be seen by many adults at a gathering like this one. He was standing by the bar, talking to a girl who was clearly trying to flirt with him, but he didn’t seem to be into her. You hadn’t meant to stare, but his eyes soon met yours. You immediately felt heat rise to your cheeks. He didn’t break eye contact, even when he replied to whatever the girl was saying. His eyes started drifting down from your face to your body, as if he was undressing you with his gaze. You opened your mouth and let out a small gasp at the sheer indecency of the way he was looking at you. The sound you made made you snap out of your daze, and you turned your attention back to the man in front of you, who hadn’t even noticed you weren’t listening to him anymore, so enthralled he was by his own conversation.
You excused yourself, not wanting to be in Heeseung’s sight anymore. You weren’t sure what to make of the interaction - you loved the idea of Heeseung paying so much attention to you, but there was something about the setting and the fact that he was talking with another girl the whole time which made you a bit uncomfortable. Disheveled, you sat down at the nearest table, not paying much attention to who was there.
“Everything alright, miss Y/N?”
That voice was too familiar. Of course, you just had to sit next to Jay’s dad, a.k.a. one of the richest CEOs in the country, a.k.a. the man behind this fundraiser. You changed your expression from distressed to spirited, not wanting him to think you weren’t handling tonight well. Before you could say anything to reassure him, he added, “Not easy, is it, entertaining so many people? I’m sure you’ll get used to it.”
Relief immediately washed over you. You looked down and said, “It hasn’t been too bad, just depends on the person you’re talking to.”
He chuckled. “I thought I saw you talking to CEO Jung. Or rather, CEO Jung talking at you. Sorry about him, he’s just the kind of person you have to learn to deal with.”
You continued talking to Mr Park, and he even invited you to stay at his table when the main course was served. He was surprisingly easy to converse with; he intently listened to you, even though he probably met infinitely more interesting people than you every day, and bounced off of your words naturally. You wondered how such an easy-going man could give birth to an argumentative boy like Jay.
You suddenly wondered where Jay was. You hadn’t seen him all evening, and he wasn’t sitting at his dad’s table either. You assumed he’d be busy with other people, but you couldn’t help being curious about his whereabouts. Not wanting to look around the room searching for him and appear disinterested in his dad, you just asked him directly if he knew where his son was.
Mr Park quirked an eyebrow and asked, “Oh, you know my son?”
“Yes, we’ve had a lot of classes together since freshman year,” you explained.
He seemed deep in thought for a second, until he started slowly nodding his head as if he’d just figured something out. “Of course, you’re Y/N. I knew that name was familiar.”
Why would your name be familiar to Jay’s dad? “Oh, did Jay mention me or some-”
Before you could finish your sentence, Mr Park said, “Ah, there he is,” gaze directed behind your shoulder. And indeed, as you turned around, you saw Jay coming towards your table.
“Dad, mind if I steal Y/N for a second?”
“She’s all yours,” he replied, sending a wink his son’s way. You looked at Jay and he seemed just as confused about his dad’s words as you. But then his eyes found yours and he motioned for you to get up and follow him with a tilt of his head.
“It was really nice talking to you, Mr Park, thank you so much for your time.”
“Of course. It was lovely meeting you, Y/N. I’m sure we’ll see each other soon enough,” he said with a knowing smile.
You didn’t even try figuring out what he meant, and just walked with Jay as he took you to a quieter area of the ballroom. Most people had finished eating and had stood up again, so you’d needed to weave through them, and Jay put a hand on your lower back to guide you better. You ignored the warmth that spread on your skin where he touched you, blaming it on the glasses of champagne you’d had.
When you’d reached a spot where you could talk easily, he turned towards you with a smirk. “I can’t believe you’re already charming your way up to my dad. You’re definitely ambitious, Y/N.”
You rolled your eyes but then remembered where you were and thought it might be best to not give in to Jay’s taunts here, so you kept your voice low when you replied. “I didn’t even do it on purpose. I just sat there, and he happened to already be at the table.”
His smirk only grew wider. “Right.” Then he stepped back a bit, and took a good look at you. Unlike Heeseung’s gaze earlier, the way Jay looked at you in that moment, like you were the only thing worth looking at in this beautiful ballroom, made butterflies erupt in your stomach. God, you really had had too much champagne. “I knew that dress would look good on you.”
You should’ve been flustered by the compliment, but you were too confused by Jay’s words: how could he have known about this? Why did he make it sound like he had chosen the dress? The stylist’s words from earlier suddenly pop up in your mind: “he does have good taste.” There was also the fact that you had applied to work as a waitress tonight but ended up as one of the scholarship students. Slowly, things started piecing together in your mind, and you looked up at the well-dressed, smirking boy in front of you in disbelief.
“Jay. Did you do this?”
“Do what?” he said, an innocent tone to his voice, but a mischievous look in his eyes.
Your eyes widened and you lightly slapped his arm. “You did! I- You- Ugh. Thanks, I guess,” you muttered, looking down at your shoes. You were beyond grateful, but your ego stopped you from being too showy about it.
He smiled at you, and you ignored how much you loved it. “It was no big deal. Just had to change your name from the waitering group to the student reps. Took me two seconds,” he said, following your gaze down, bashfully admitting to helping you out.
“Why’d you do it?”
Because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and the world should know about it, was his immediate thought. But of course, he’d never say that out loud, so he opted for, “I just felt bad for you, really. I know you like to think of us as rivals, so I thought the least I could do was to put us on equal footing tonight.”
Although you had a feeling he wasn’t telling you everything, you weren’t going to press any further. You chatted for a bit longer, the both of you enjoying a relaxed conversation after hours on being on your best behavior, and your ability of talking normally to Jay and not wanting to claw his eyes out surprised you, not to mention the fact that you were… enjoying yourself.
“Anyway, I’m doing the closing speech soon. I’m gonna be awesome, so look closely, yeah?” You knew he wanted to look cool, but you thought he sounded like an excited kid who was about to put on a show for his family. How cute, you thought, and immediately chased that thought away from your brain. That damn champagne must’ve been laced with something.
You both went back into the crowd, and quickly your name was called out by someone you had talked to earlier who wanted to introduce you to someone else. You quickly waved goodbye at Jay, a smile on your face. If anybody had seen him, they would’ve noticed how his cheeks fired up and how he waved excitedly back at you.
And indeed, he had been seen.
His dad had been talking with one of his business partners, but tried to keep some of his attention on you and Jay. He couldn’t help but be curious as to why his son, who had previously never expressed any romantic interest in anyone, was suddenly making sure you attended the fundraiser as a student rep and not a waitress, and why he’d even gone the extra mile and chosen your dress for you. He hadn’t missed the way his son’s face lit up when he was talking to you, and how his gaze lingered on you as you walked away. But he also hadn’t missed how you’d followed Jay without hesitation, and how relaxed you’d looked talking to him. He thought the both of you acted as if it was just you two in a room full to the brim with people. When his wife joined him at the table, he’d told her about their son’s unusual behavior, and she said that she had noticed him looking around as if searching for someone a few times during the evening. They exchanged a knowing smile.
Heeseung had also noticed Jay leading you away from the crowd, and had intently watched your interaction, not even trying to make the girl he was talking to think he was still paying attention to her. He knew you had a crush on him; you couldn’t make it any more obvious. But he also knew how comfortable, how yourself you were around Jay; he’d seen the two of you banter around campus, always arguing about something, whether it was the new law that was being put into place or whether pineapple belongs on pizza or not. Heeseung wasn’t stupid, he’d seen enough rom-coms to know that the girl always ended up with the friend she joked around with and not the hot popular guy that made her feel nervous.
Jay and him had been rivals since he could remember, and not rivals like you and Jay, but proper rivals, who actually had to fight for something. Well, technically, it was their fathers who were competing as CEOs of some of the top firms in the country, but since they were bound to take their place at some point, it had felt like their competition as well. Nothing was off-limits when it came to their rivalry, and you were most definitely not an exception, not to Heeseung. He couldn’t stand seeing Jay have something he didn’t. At that moment, he made up his mind.
Heeseung had to have you.
But before that, Jay needed to give his closing speech. As soon as he’d stepped on the stage, the chatter started to quiet down, and everyone turned their attention to him. Much like you earlier, he hadn’t realized how bright the lights were when standing onstage. He could only see over a hundred people staring right at him, and his confident demeanor from moments ago crumbled at his feet. He scanned the crowd for your face, desperately needing something, or rather someone, to anchor him. When his eyes finally found yours, he felt strength regaining his body. His mother followed his gaze and found you looking right at her son, sending a reassuring smile and thumbs-up his way.
Jay’s speech went very smoothly, and everybody congratulated him for it as they left the room.
—
Back home after a stressful but rewarding evening, all Jay wanted to do was take a shower and pass out in bed. But his parents had other plans.
“So…” started his mother, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
“So?” Jay asked, already fearing whatever his mom was about to say.
“Y/N’s a nice girl,” she simply stated, hoping Jay’s reaction would give her more to go on.
And oh boy did it. He immediately started blushing and stuttering at the sudden mention of your name. He knew you’d spoken with his father at the fundraiser, but he hadn’t thought his mom would bring you up.
“Y-Y/N? Yeah, I guess. But what about her?” he said, looking away and trying to sound uninterested, but blatantly failing.
His parents exchanged a look. “C’mon, son,” his dad picked up, “you don’t need to hide something like that from us. We’re very happy that you’ve found a nice girlfriend like Y/N.”
A nice… girlfriend? Had Jay heard that correctly? His parents thought you two were… dating?
As he stared at them wide-eyed and mouth agape, they just chuckled softly at him. “It’s okay, Jay, really. She made a dazzling impression on all of the guests tonight, and on us. She’s exactly the kind of person you should be dating, so don’t worry about us getting in your way of anything. We approve of your relationship.”
Jay started laughing in disbelief, and his parents just took it as a sign of his relief. If only they knew. “Right,” he said between chuckles, “thanks, guys.”
Why he didn’t deny what his parents were saying was beyond him. A part of him didn’t want to disappoint them by telling them the truth - his mother had always urged him to get a girlfriend, saying he wouldn’t have the time for dating later on in his career, that he should enjoy his college years as much as he could. Another part of him loved the idea of dating you, and it hurt him too much to shatter that thought.
So he just nodded along, saying he was glad they liked you.
“We really did,” said his father. “In fact, you should bring her over for dinner sometime this week. It’d be nice getting to know her in a less formal setting, don’t you think? Ask her what she likes, I’ll ask the chef to cook it specially for her.”
“S-sure,” Jay said, already panicking - he’d either have to come up with an excuse as to why you couldn’t come to dinner, or with ways to convince you to be his pretend-girlfriend for a night. If he actually did ask you, he’d have to be very careful about it, otherwise it’d end up with you trying to pull his hair out.
What the hell had he gotten himself into?
—
At 10:43 a.m. the next day, you were waiting for Jay in front of the library. Right when you were about to turn your bedside lamp off, you’d received a text from him, asking to meet. Apparently, there was something he needed to tell you, and whatever it was, you were absolutely dreading it. Jay always had a lot of things to say, but he’d never felt the need before to warn you in advance that he needed to tell you something. Those kinds of messages were never very pleasant, and even less so when they came from Park Jongseong. Rereading the messages, you really couldn’t figure out what was so important that required you to take a break from your weekly Saturday morning study sessions.
00:44 archnemesis: Hey Y/N
00:44 archnemesis: Are you still up?
00:44 you: do NOT fuckboy text me jongseong
00:44 archnemesis: Sorry
00:45 you: go away im trying to sleep
00:45 archnemesis: Not trying hard enough obviously
00:45 you: shut up
00:45 you: what do u want
00:45 archnemesis: I need to tell you something.
00:45 archnemesis: Can we meet up tomorrow morning?
00:46 you: wtf
00:46 you: what is it ???
00:47 you: cant u just tell me now??
00:49 you: jay ???
00:49 archnemesis: Um.
00:49 archnemesis: I’ll tell you tomorrow!
00:49 archnemesis: :D
0:49 archnemesis: library 10:45?
0:50 you: ughhhhh
00:50 you: yeah whatever
00:50 you: this better be worth it istg
00:51 archnemesis: Good night Y/N <3
00:51 you: EWWWW
You’d stayed awake for a while after that, trying to figure out whatever it was he needed to tell you, but the only thing you were sure about was that it had something to do with the fundraiser, since he’d texted you after it. Had he finally realized how superior in every aspect you were to him and would finally bow down to you? That seemed pretty unlikely. Did one of the guests there really like you and had spontaneously decided to pay for your studies and offer you an internship at their company? Were they impressed by your intellect and wanted you to become their kids’ private tutor? Possible. Or even better, maybe it was Jay’s parents whose attention you had particularly caught, and they wanted to reward you in some way. Maybe they thought you were amazing and that you’d be a perfect girlfriend for their son, and Jay, ever the daddy’s boy, would now shower you with gifts and attention in order to capture your heart.
Ha, as if, you thought, laughing to yourself. It was a lot less funny when Jay told you about the little misunderstanding.
You were sitting at the library café with Jay, who’d wanted to postpone delivering the news as much as possible and had bribed you with the promise of free hot coffee. Well, free for you, at least. Not that a coffee would create much of a dent in his bank account. After five minutes of chit-chatting, you were getting annoyed with him and didn’t understand why he was being so uncharacteristically awkward and asked him to cut straight to the chase. When he told you his parents thought you were his girlfriend and wanted to have you over for dinner this week, it took all you had to not spit the coffee right in his face. Not only was it ridiculous, it was practically exactly what you had imagined.
“Are you kidding me, Jongseong? I can barely pretend to be your friend, how the hell am I gonna pretend to be your girlfriend?”
Your words were like bullets piercing right through his body, but he had to ignore the pain, telling himself you were just shocked by the sudden news. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I just- I panicked, and I didn’t know how to tell them the truth. They seemed so happy,” he said, head hung low. You knew he was genuinely sorry, because he’d almost never actually said those words to you, so he had to mean them. The only other time you could think of was when he’d dropped his water bottle all over your laptop. The next day, he’d offered you a brand new MacBook with all of his notes already downloaded on it.
You sighed, unsure what to make of the whole situation. At any other time, your first reaction would’ve been to flip Jay off and tell him to get out of his own mess, but you felt like you owed him after what he’d done for you at the fundraiser. Even though he made it seem like no big deal, it still meant a lot to you that you’d gotten to spend the evening making yourself known to the guests and not serving them smoked salmon toasts, and that was all thanks to him.
“I guess I do owe you one, Jongseong.” His head snapped up and he looked at you with the most hopeful eyes you’d ever seen. “But before you get carried away,” you warned, “this is a one-time thing. Find an excuse, say we broke up or whatever. Fake dating is like, the most predictable trope ever,” you said, remembering all the heated discussions you’d had on the topic with Sieun.
But Jay paid no attention to that last sentence - he leapt up from his chair and came over to your side, engulfing you in a surprisingly warm hug. He muttered thank you over and over into your hair before realizing hugging wasn’t something you guys did and he might have just made things way worse. To his relief, when he took a sudden step back, you didn’t look upset at all, but rather amused at his sudden burst of excitement.
He returned to his seat and cleared his throat. “Right. Thanks a lot, Y/N. My dad likes to have family dinners on Thursdays, so it’ll probably be then. I’ll, uh, I’ll take you there, so don’t worry about that.”
You chuckled at him. “You know I’ll never let you live this down, right?”
He sighed and shook his head, saying, “I know. But I’d rather have that than disappoint my parents, to be honest.” He smiled at you as if to take away some of the gravity of what he’d just said. You thought it wasn’t something he wanted to delve into, so you took a sip of your coffee and brought up the topic of this week’s tutorial for your cinema class, knowing it was a surefire way to start an argument with him.
—
On Monday at lunch, you were sitting at the cafeteria with your friends. Keeho was telling them how fancy you’d looked and how you’d managed to charm everyone.
“I feel like I should be jealous, but what you did looked a lot more tiring than what I did, to be honest. When you’re a waiter at that kind of event, those rich people don’t even register your presence, so they just say the wildest shit in front of you. Apparently, CEO Cha is having an affair with CEO Liu’s wife, whoever they are.”
You chuckled at your friend, feeling even more thankful towards Jay that you didn’t have to spend your evening like that. The four of you continued chatting, which mainly consisted of complaining about how you already had so much work only two weeks into the semester. You were intently listening to the niche topic Sieun was learning about in her Bio class when someone dropped a bag on the table right next to your tray. The letters ‘Gucci’ were written on it in the iconic but simple font.
Your gaze went from the bag to the person holding it, and of course, it was none other than Park Jongseong himself.
“Hey, Y/N. Hey, guys,” he said, giving your friends a simple nod. They all replied with a confused hi. You were just staring at Jay, wondering what he was doing here.
“I got you something for Thursday night,” he explained. “Gotta wow the parents, you know?” he added with a wink.
“Uh-huh” was your very clever reply. You could feel your friends’ gaze ping-ponging between you and Jay.
Jay looked around the table, an awkward silence spreading between everyone. He cleared his throat. “Well, let me know if it fits or not. See you around.” And with that, he was gone as quickly as he’d arrived. You turned back to your friends, and their confused faces echoed your own.
“What are you waiting for?” Sunoo nudged your arm. “Take a look inside!”
You took the bag on your lap and pulled out a magnificent green satin dress that was a lot more elegant than the one you’d worn at the fundraiser. You guessed Jay really did want for you to make a good impression on his parents. It seemed to be quite long and to not show too much skin, which you appreciated. You could only hope it would look as good on you as it did seeing it like this.
As soon as you’d taken it out, you’d heard your friends gasp.
“Oh.”
“My.”
“God,” they’d said in turn, obviously mesmerized by the gift.
You handed the dress to Sieun, who clearly wanted to admire it up close, and looked into the bag in case there was anything else. You were maybe hoping for a pair of earrings or a necklace, but it was wishful thinking. Instead, you found a sticky note signed Jay, which read, Wear the accessories and shoes from last week. I can’t spoil you too much just yet.
You hadn’t even noticed Sunoo was reading the note over your shoulder until he put his hand over yours in what seemed to be a confidential manner and said, with all the seriousness in the world, “Y/N, be honest with us. Is Park Jay your sugar daddy?”
Sieun and Keeho’s head snapped up and they stared at you expectantly. “What the hell? Why is that the first place your mind goes to?” you said, almost laughing in disbelief.
Bewildered, Sunoo replied, “How can it not? The wink, the Gucci gift, the note? It screams sugar daddy!”
“Wait - didn’t he say something about his parents? I’m not an expert, but I don’t think meeting the folks is sugar daddy etiquette,” Keeho mused, taking this way too seriously.
You took a deep breath. There was no point in not telling your friends what had happened, so you explained the events of the past few days to them, from Jay changing your role at the fundraiser, to his parents thinking you were dating, to dinner with them on Thursday.
When you were done bringing them up to date, they all looked at you with incredulous looks. After a moment, Sieun broke the silence: “Y/N, you’ve become a real walking rom-com. I’m so proud of you.”
Keeho was tearing his bread apart, throwing chunks into his mouth. “I don’t know. Fake dating is kinda boring, to be honest.” Sieun let out an offended gasp and Sunoo nodded in agreement.
“We’re not gonna be fake dating. Just for this one evening, I’ll pretend to be his girlfriend, and it’ll be over as quickly as it started,” you said, hoping that’d be the end of this conversation, but your friends wouldn’t back down so easily.
“Y/N, that’s literally the whole concept of fake dating. You’ll think it’s only that one time, and before you know it, you’ll be married with three children, and it won’t be fake anymore,” Sieun warned, but you just shook your head and laughed, stealing Keeho’s other piece of bread from his tray.
“You guys are blowing this way out of proportion.”
“And you’ll be blowing something else soon…” Sunoo muttered, just loud enough for your table to hear. You let out an offended gasp but Keeho and Sieun just burst into laughter.
“Sunoo!”
“What?!” he replied, imitating your outraged tone but sporting an amused smile. “Your whole rivalry thing is too cute, I can’t take it seriously. You won’t admit it to yourself, but you clearly like Jay a lot more than you do Heeseung,” he said with a shrug, as if it was all so obvious. You tried to find support in Keeho or Sieun’s eyes, but they avoided your gaze, guilty expressions on their faces.
“Guys, come on, you can’t be serious. Jongseong and I are just- we’re just-” Rivals? Friends? Soon-to-be fake boyfriend and girlfriend? Who knew anymore. You took a deep breath. “It’s not like that.”
“Whatever you say,” Sunoo sighed, but to your relief that was the end of the conversation. Your friends quickly moved on to another topic, but their words gnawed at the back of your mind like rabid bunnies. Either they were completely insane, or you had gravely misjudged Jay this whole time.
—
When Jay rang your doorbell at 7:00 p.m. sharp on Thursday, you were just done applying a thin layer of gloss on your lips. That morning, he’d texted you to ask for your address and tell you to be ready at seven. You took a good look at yourself in the mirror and headed down the stairs to get the door, but your mother had beat you to it.
Not used to keeping secrets from her, you’d told her everything. She’d looked at you curiously the whole time, a slight smirk on her face as if she knew something you didn’t. And sure enough, when you were finished talking, she’d said, “I knew there was something between you and that Jay boy. You talk way too much about him.”
Not her too, you thought, but you didn’t need to encourage her delusions by telling her your friends thought the same, so you’d tried to defend yourself. “Mom! I just told you, I’m only pretending, I’m not actually his girlfriend. If I did like him, you’d be the first to know.”
She looked at you with a knowing smile that moms loved to wear. “I do know. You’re the one who doesn’t.” You’d dismissed her with a roll of your eyes. Everybody around me’s going crazy, you thought.
When she opened the door, it revealed a very smartly-dressed Jay (but when was he not?), bouquet in hand. He immediately handed them to her and introduced himself.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs Kim. I’m-”
“Jay, I know. Y/N’s mentioned you.”
“Has she?” he asked, a genuine grin blooming on his lips. You ignored how the glint of surprise and - hopefulness? - in his eyes tug at your heartstrings.
“Just once or twice, and never positively,” you interrupted, appearing next to your mom. Taking your appearance in, she nodded at you approvingly, but Jay just stood there, mouth agape, seemingly transfixed by you. He only snapped out of his daze when you called out his name.
“You ready to go?” you asked, and hoped that the heat that had traveled to your face was hidden by your makeup.
“Uh, yeah, yeah. Let’s go. It was nice meeting you, Mrs Kim.”
“You too, Jay. Thanks for the flowers. I hope Y/N will be a good fake girlfriend to you tonight.”
“Oh, you told her?” Jay asked you, looking somewhat disappointed.
“I wasn’t gonna lie to my mom about my boyfriend,” you said, nudging him out of the door. “Bye, mom!”
You ignored her reply (“Don’t have too much fun!”) and walked speedily towards Jay’s car, which looked far too expensive for this neighborhood. As you got closer, he took a few quick steps in front of you and opened the passenger door for you. You rolled your eyes, not wanting to let on how the gesture made your stomach flip. “No need to go that far, Jongseong. Don’t try to woo me.”
He hurried to the driver’s seat, looked at you with a grin and said, “Might as well get into character now.” His gaze lingered on you for a second too long, and you started feeling self-conscious when his eyes moved up and down over your body. When you coughed, he suddenly turned his attention back to the front and gulped, then started the car. He looked taken aback himself, as if he hadn’t even noticed he was staring at you. After a few seconds of silence, he said, “I really do have good fashion taste.”
Although he was technically complimenting himself, you caught yourself hoping he also meant you looked good in the dress he’d chosen for you. “You could have included shoes and jewelry, you know. I wouldn’t have taken it the wrong way,” you said with a playful tone.
“Sounds like you’re already getting used to a lavish lifestyle,” he retorted, making you smile sheepishly.
“I’m just not used to dressing up nicely like this. It’s nice,” you said truthfully. You weren’t sure where the honesty was coming from, but something about being in a car with Jay made you feel like you could say anything - it felt safe, like whatever you could tell him would stay between the two of you. What happens in Jay’s car, stays in Jay’s car, or something along those lines.
Jay wanted to tell you that if you gave him a chance, you could do this anytime you wanted. He’d buy you all the dresses you could dream of, and give you a taste of his world, which he so often found bland and shallow, but that he was sure you could light up in the blink of an eye. But he couldn’t say that, so instead, he said, “Yeah, I noticed. I don’t think anything you’ve ever done or said offended me more than that one time you showed up to class wearing a ‘where the hell have you been, loca?’ t-shirt.”
“Shut up, that shirt is amazing!”
“Maybe, but the movie it’s quoting is an absolute trashfire of a film, if you can even call it that,” he claimed, knowing it’d get a reaction out of you.
“Don’t talk shit about Twilight, Jongseong, or I’ll mess tonight up and your parents will think you’re dating a psycho.”
He turned to you with a smirk. “I’d like to see you try.”
You’d always known Jay was a confident man. It’s obvious in the way he holds his head high whenever he enters a room, or how he manages to stay calm and collected during an argument with someone who’s practically shouting at him (you, usually). And while he was always self-assured during your debates, seeing him act like this to practically flirt - could you describe it like that? - with you rendered you speechless. And you hated being speechless.
So you crossed your arms with a hmph and looked out the window, turning away so he couldn’t catch your fluttered state.
You finally arrived at his parents’ house after a half-an-hour drive (“You live so far away, do you seriously drive to campus and back everyday?” “Yes, Jay, not all of us can live in a three-bedroom flat in the middle of the city”). As soon as you walked in, his mother greeted you with a warm hug, telling you how pretty you looked, and his father clasped your hand tightly, the lines around his eyes showing as he smiled at you. By the looks of it, you wouldn’t need to do much for them to like you.
You could tell Mr Park was a businessman by the way he didn’t beat around the bush when talking to you. As soon as you’d sat down in the (or at least one of the) living rooms for drinks and small appetizers, he asked, “So, Y/N, tell us about yourself.”
Having anticipated such a question, you started, “Well, I’m an Econ major-”
“Yes, but I know there’s more to you than just academics,” Jay’s dad interrupted with a well-intentioned smile.
You looked at Jay, hoping he could help you out. He just looked back at you as if he was waiting for your answer as much as his dad was. “Right. Um. Where should I begin?” you said with an awkward chuckle. You felt a bit put on the spot, but there was only genuine curiosity in all three pairs of eyes looking at you, so you felt comfortable enough to go on.
“I’ve always lived here. Or, technically, in the suburbs. Since I spend most of my time either studying, working at my part-time job or commuting back and forth between school and home, I don’t have much time for hobbies. I just use my free time to spend time with my friends or my family.” You looked at the three people in front of you, wondering if you’d said enough. After a beat, you added, “Sorry, was that too depressing?”
Mr and Mrs Park chuckled at you, and he instantly reassured you, saying, “No, no, not at all. Tell us about your family.”
You were expecting that one too. “Well, it’s just my mother, my little sister and me. But she’s at boarding school right now, so I only see her during the holidays.”
“Boarding school - that’s pretty impressive,” commented Jay’s mom.
You smiled fondly at the thought of your little sister. “Yeah, she’s a smart cookie. Got there on a scholarship and everything. She likes it most of the time but she does complain about how the people there are all-”
You stopped yourself before your tongue could slip up and potentially offend Jay’s parents. But to your surprise, they smiled and, in turn, said, “Rich and self-centered?”
“Little kids who think they run the place when they’re only fourteen?”
A chuckle escaped you, not expecting them to share that kind of opinion with you and your sister. An amused tone in your voice, you nodded your head and said, “Yeah, exactly.”
“Yeah, I know all about those. Your boyfriend here might have been born into wealth,” he started, and you tried not to choke on your drink at Jay being referred to as your boyfriend, “but my father’s company, the one I’m in charge of now, only started being successful when I was in high school. My dad worked his way up from the ground, so he and I both know what it’s like to not be well-off. I’ve tried to not turn Jay into one of those rich kids who think they’ll rule the world just cause they have money, and… well, I hope I did a good job.”
You looked at Jay with a grin. He looked right back at you as if to say, I dare you to tell my dad he’s wrong. If this was anyone else in any other situation, you definitely would’ve told them Jay is one of the most privileged people you’ve ever met. You thought for another second - yes, Jay was definitely privileged, but there was a sort of innocence about him. He’d never used his wealth to make you feel inferior to him or anything of the sort. When he’d bought you that MacBook, it was to apologize, not to show off. It was as normal for him to have his meals cooked and laundry washed as it was for you to sigh in defeat every time the price of milk went up, even by just a cent or two.
So, still looking at him, you replied, “Yeah, I’d say you did a pretty good job.”
The way Jay’s eyes looked in that moment, fond and soft, made you want to never look away. But you didn’t want to make it awkward, so you turned back to his parents, who were watching the two of you with affection. Maybe Jay and you were a little bit too good at this whole fake-dating thing.
A maid came into the room to announce dinner was ready, and you all headed to the dining room. When plates of your favorite food arrived, you looked at Jay, astonishment written all over your face.
“How did you know?”
“You might’ve mentioned it here and there…” he sheepishly answered, knowing fully well that he’d gotten the information from a tweet you’d made eight months ago.
As conversation picked up again and you exchanged with his parents over a bunch of different topics, from childhood memories to that weird new Netflix show that’s strangely addicting, you tried to ignore Jay’s stare that was burning into the side of your face.
“What about your dad?” he suddenly asked, catching everybody in the room off guard. Noticing your confused look, he continued, “Earlier. You said it was just you, your sister and your mom. What about your dad?”
His mom furrowed her eyebrows at him and said, “Jongseong, leave her be. If she hasn’t told you, she probably doesn’t want to talk about it.”
You took a deep breath. “No, it’s alright. I don’t mind talking about it, I just don’t usually bring it up cause it makes people think of me differently? Like they start to pity me just because my dad’s out of the picture, when, really, it hasn’t affected me that much. I’ve never known him, my mom has always raised the two of us on her own.” You looked down at your hands. You hadn’t even realized you’d been fiddling your fingers. “It just seems too cliché, the poor girl who lives in the suburbs and is on a scholarship and doesn’t have a dad and redeems herself by having good grades. Which is why I like to usually keep it to myself.”
You looked back up at them and were relieved when you found understanding and not pity in their eyes. If there was one thing you didn’t want to happen, was for them to think you were leeching off of Jay or trying to get his money. Even though you weren’t actually dating, it would’ve still damaged your ego if they had seen you that way.
A few hours later, dessert was finished, and you could tell everyone was starting to tire (or had had too many glasses of wine) by the way the conversation was starting to make less and less sense. Jay was looking at the three of you in amusement, stone cold sober, as he knew he’d have to drive you home later.
“Well, Y/N, son, we’re not going to hold you hostage here any longer. You still have classes tomorrow,” Jay’s dad said.
His parents led the two of you to the door as you gathered your coat and bag. “It was so lovely getting to know you more, Y/N. You truly are a sweet girl, and we can tell you’re making our Jay very happy,” his mother said, pulling you into a hug.
“You better treat her well, son,” said Mr Park. Jay looked over at you, and there was something in his eyes you couldn’t quite explain; all you knew was that it sent shivers straight down your spine. “I will,” he simply said, but with so much honesty, it made you wonder if he actually did mean it.
“Oh, and Y/N, there’s an event this Saturday. It won’t be as fun as ours last week, but I’m sure you could find a way to enjoy it. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt for people to see what a nice, hardworking girlfriend Jay has,” his father said, beaming down at you.
Jay and you exchanged a look, and the panic at the sudden invitation made you say, “Yes, I’d love to attend!” instead of finding a palatable excuse.
You exchanged final goodbyes with his parents, and as soon as you were in the car, you let out a hearty groan.
“My God, what’s wrong with me? Why did I have to say yes to that?”
Jay started the car. “I’m surprised too. If you had given me three seconds, I could’ve come up with an excuse for you. But I mean, I’m not gonna complain.”
You turned your head towards him, a pout on your face. “What do you mean?”
Jay kept his eyes straight on the road as he answered. “Well, like he said, it won’t be a bad look for me to have you on my arm. As much as it pains me to admit, you’re charming and intelligent, and,” he glanced quickly towards you, “I have good fashion taste, so you don’t look like an absolute fool in that department either.”
You snorted at his coyness. “Just say I’m pretty and move on, Jongseong.”
“Is that what I said, though?” he asked, a devilish grin on his face.
You gasped dramatically, trying to appear as offended as possible. “Your dad literally just told you to treat me well, I’ll have you know.”
“They really fell for it, didn’t they?,” he said with a sigh. “I have to say, you did a pretty good job tonight. Almost got me wondering if you’re not used to being people’s fake date for the night.”
“Yeah, it’s my side job actually.” You smiled at each other, and when the eye contact lasted a second too long, you both quickly turned your head to the road. “So, what’s Saturday night about?” you asked, wanting to break the silence.
“Oh, it’s probably just another boring event where the grown-ups go to socialize and flaunt their wealth or their children’s prowess.”
“Wow, look at you being all critical. I thought you lived and breathed that kind of stuff.”
“I like it when it has a purpose. Like a fundraiser, or a company opening, or whatever. But this is just another excuse for people to show themselves off. You don’t have to come, you know. I can probably find a way out for you.”
Once again, without thinking, you immediately answered, “I’ll come.”
Jay glanced at you quickly, an eyebrow raised. “Wh- Really?”
You shrugged, trying to stay casual. “I mean, I don’t have anything on Saturdays. Might as well keep you company. Turns out you’re not always insufferable.” You’d lowered your voice for that last sentence, only half-heartedly admitting it. But of course, Jay wasn’t going to let you go with it.
“Huh? What was that? I don’t think I heard you,” he teased, leaning slightly towards you.
You gently nudged his shoulder, saying, “Shut up, you heard me. Just because I tolerate you slightly more doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being my number one rival.”
You’d never seen Jay smile that much. You sometimes caught glimpses of it when he was with his friends, but with you, he usually had an arrogant smirk, so seeing his genuine grin made your heart swell with joy you couldn’t explain.
“Of course not. I wouldn’t assume anything else.”
He dropped you off at your house and made sure you were inside before driving away. When you told your mom about your night, she watched you with a smile, that knowing glint in her eyes still there. When she tried hinting at you having feelings for the boy, you’d gotten off your chair and shouted good night! before heading to bed.
—
Saturday quickly rolled around the corner, and you were in your room with Sieun, trying on the two dresses Jay had given you to pick from. “They’re both good, I just wanted to see if you’d choose the best one,” he’d said. This time, he’d also included a new pair of shoes and a set of matching jewelry. Your friends kept teasing you about him being your sugar daddy (“you can’t deny it anymore, Y/N”), and you had to admit you were starting to feel a bit like that, even though you weren’t really giving him any sugar. He was just spoiling you like it was his day job.
He was right; both dresses were gorgeous. They were both black, but one of them was body-fitting with an open back, while the other cinched in at the waist and had puffy sleeves. You couldn’t deny that you looked good in the first one; Sieun had let out the loudest gap when she’d seen you in it. But you both agreed that it was on the riskier side, and it was probably more appropriate to wear the second dress.
You were laying on your bed, talking about this and that. It’d been a while since it was just the two of you, and it was nice catching up with her.
“So…” she’d started, an impish tone to her voice. You knew immediately what she wanted to talk about and let out a loud groan, but that didn’t deter her. “Wanna tell me about Jay?”
It was obvious what she was trying to get at, but you weren’t going to give her what she wanted. “Well, he’s rich and has a huge house. Not surprising. He drives well. He’s not half as annoying when he’s in front of his parents. Probably not trying to be as much of a smartass. He seems to think he’s all that. He-”
“Okay, okay, I get it!” she said, laughing. “What I mean is, has anything changed between you two? Have you finally come to your senses about the boy?”
You thought about it for a second. Something had definitely shifted in your perception of Jay. You felt it in the pit of your stomach every time he smiled at you. But it was scary: this wasn’t you and Jay. You and Jay argued, and riled each other up, and got on each other’s nerves. You didn’t crack jokes so you’d hear the other laugh, or agree without thinking when they asked you for a favor. It was confusing, so instead of voicing out those concerns, you lied. “No. Not really.”
But your friend wasn’t buying it. “C’mon. The guy buys you dresses, gets your mom flowers, drives you to his parents’ for dinner. I know it’s not for realsies, and you’ve got integrity or whatever, but you can’t completely be indifferent to it, Y/N. Even you’ve got to admit Jay’s hot.”
You laughed at your friend’s reasoning. “Fine. Maybe he’s not just someone to beat anymore. I guess that’s what fake dating will do to you. But that doesn’t mean I have to say he’s hot.”
She turned to fully face you. “Not even when he’s all dressed up? Or when he hands you a bag that has contents worth thousands?”
Her eyes were telling you that you had to agree with her. You tried to suppress a smile, still not wanting to admit anything. Just because you and Jay had been rivals since you’d met didn’t mean you went blind every time you saw him. Of course, you knew how attractive he was. But you had conditioned yourself to never see him that way, so letting on that you didn’t think he was completely repulsive felt like betraying yourself.
Sieun laughed at your reaction. “C’mon! Say it!”
You pursed your lips together, suppressing a smile, and shook your head. The tilt to Sieun’s head and the devilish glint in her eyes told you your friend was up to no good - and indeed, a second later, she was on you, tickling your sides and asking you to “say it! Say it!”
“Fine, fine!” you said between breathless giggles. She finally relented. “I think Jay’s hot.”
“Do you, now?”
The sudden male voice made you and Sieun shriek. You sat up in your bed and found its owner - sure enough, Jay was standing in your doorway, leaning against the wall and clearly liking what he’d just heard. Your mother soon appeared behind him, explaining that he’d knocked and she let him in, telling him to go up to your room. She mouthed sorry and quickly scurried down the hall.
“I’m not sure why it took you so long, but I’m glad you’ve finally opened your eyes, Y/N.”
Sieun’s eyes were going back and forth between the two of you, until she stood up and said, “Well, I guess that’s my cue to go. Have fun you two, and tell me all about it on Monday, Y/N!”
Before you could protest, she had already left your room, sending Jay a wink as she passed by him. It was silent for a few seconds as you sat there in embarrassment, cursing the Gods for your awful timing. He walked in and sat down at the edge of your bed, comfortable and keeping his distance at once. The sentence there’s something perfect about him flashed in your mind but you were quick to brush it away. “So, which dress did you choose?”
“The one with the puffy sleeves,” you replied, unable to look him in the eye.
He tutted, shaking his head disapprovingly. “Wrong choice.” You rolled your eyes. “Show me?”
This made you look at him. His smile was taunting, but his eyes were soft. With the way he looked right now, you thought he could ask you anything and you’d say yes. You hadn’t imagined that him sitting on your bed would make you stammer like a schoolgirl in front of her teacher crush, but here you were, almost rendered speechless by the mere sight of him. The fact that he was manspreading and leaning back on his hands, the top buttons of his shirt undone and his trousers stretching against his thighs, wasn’t particularly helping. More shyly than you intended, you told him to turn around and close his eyes, then quickly put the dress on. You were thankful for its lack of zipper - you don’t know if you could have handled Jay zipping your dress up for you.
“Okay. You can turn around now.”
This was already the third time Jay was seeing you all dressed up, but his gaze managed to make the heat rise to your cheeks every time. The corners of his lips rose slightly. “Wrong choice,” he repeated, “but you still look really good, Y/N.”
You couldn’t stop the smile spreading on your face as you coyly replied, tugging at the hem of your dress, “Why thank you, Jay.”
“You gonna be ready to go soon?” he asked, checking the time on his phone.
“Yeah, just need to put on jewelry and shoes, and I’m good. Sieun did my makeup for me earlier.” You put on the thin silver earrings and ring Jay had gotten for you and checked your reflection in the mirror. You put a hand to your collarbone, thinking the area looked a bit empty without a necklace.
“Should I wear the necklace from last time? It looks a bit weird without anything right now,” you asked Jay, keeping your gaze on the mirror.
“Um, I’ve got something, actually. I forgot to give it to you with the rest of the things.” He fished a small box out of his bag and got up to stand behind you. He took out the necklace and put it around your neck, asking you to hold your hair up. You complied, looking at his reflection in the mirror. His hands slightly brushed the back of your neck as he locked the necklace, and you had to keep yourself from visibly shivering at his touch. This was infinitely worse (or better) than him zipping up your dress.
He absent-mindedly let his hands slide along your shoulders until they came to a halt on the sides of your arms. His eyes met yours in the mirror, and with a smile, he said, “All done.”
—
Nothing, not even the fundraiser of the previous week, could’ve prepared you for how lavish this party was. Whereas the fundraiser has been in an 18th century ballroom, in the old part of your city where most of the architecture was traditional, this event was taking place in the newer, richer part of the city where skyscrapers constituted most of the area. You were at the top of one of those skyscrapers, and from the huge windows that made up two of the four walls of the spacious room, you could see the whole city laid out right in front of you, as if it was yours to take. If having money meant seeing this everyday, you thought you could understand why rich people got addicted to it.
As Jay and his dad had warned, the atmosphere that evening was very different from that of the fundraiser. Instead of gathering for a cause, this just felt like an excuse to get drunk and eat tiny, tiny appetizers that probably cost a hundred dollars each, all while looking rich and fashionable. The room was quite dark, only the moon outside and the small LED lamps on every table bringing light in. You’d never seen such an impressive collection of alcohol (to be fair, you’d only ever been to frat parties where most of the alcohol was cheap beer and dodgy brands of vodka), and you were really going to have to restrain yourself from trying out every cocktail the barman offered. Although most of the people there were in their forties to sixties, and the younger people were only there thanks to their parents, the dress code wasn’t as formal as you’d have imagined it to be, and Jay’s assessment of your dress as the “wrong choice” now made more sense. The women wore dresses that showed quite some skin, or didn’t leave much to the imagination, and the men had left their suit blazer behind and hadn’t buttoned their shirt all the way up.
It was all a bit mind-boggling at first, but you soon got used to it, and Jay’s warm hand on your lower back reassured you. At first, the two of you walked around together, talking to different people, and hoping you were making your “relationship” clear to them. You were glad Heeseung or anyone that would’ve recognized you wasn’t there: you could handle pretending to be Jay’s girlfriend in front of his parents and other random people, but in front of the whole school, that would’ve been a whole other level of fake dating.
Watching people slowly slip into a drunk state as the hours passed was just about the only source of entertainment you got that night. The two cocktails you’d tried out were way too strong to your liking, so you didn’t feel like drinking anymore, and Jay couldn’t because he was driving you home later on. When most guests were beyond the point of being able to hold a coherent conversation, you and Jay took it as your cue to leave. You found his parents among the crowd to tell them goodbye, and you could tell they weren’t completely sober by the way they kept telling you you were amazing and made you promise three times you’d attend more of these events. Guess you couldn’t back out now.
And indeed, as weeks passed, it became a normal thing for you to accompany Jay every time he had an event to attend. Your wardrobe was going to burst from all the outfits he kept buying you, but you weren’t going to complain. Jake and Sunghoon, as sons of CEOs of smaller but still important companies, were sometimes present. They usually ditched these types of events, and you couldn’t blame them, but they still made the effort from time to time. You were already friends with Jake before; the two of you had lived in the same dorm building and kept finding each other in the study room late at night, then started to bond over insolvable questions and watered-down instant coffee. Sunghoon, on the other hand, you hadn’t had many chances to talk to, and you couldn’t lie, judging by his appearance alone, you had first thought he was even more self-centered than Jay. But after talking to him for just a minute, you found that that cold facade quickly broke down and he was easy to talk to and very funny - in his own way, but funny nonetheless.
Heeseung wasn’t always at these events, but whenever he was, you couldn’t miss him. He always garnered attention, especially from the female guests, but he always kept his eyes trained on you. In all your three years of liking him, he’d barely spoken a word to you, so why the sudden interest? Usually, you’d have craved his attention; but for some reason, at those parties, you felt indifferent towards it. You hated how he was always with a different girl and never approached you, yet wasn’t trying to keep his glances towards you discreet at all. Jay noticed it too, and a couple times you’d even had to stop him from going up to Heeseung and asking him what the hell he wanted.
Since you didn’t have money to bedazzle people with, you always tried to make a good impression with your conversation and intellect, but some nights you just weren’t up to it and spent most of the time laughing with Jake and Sunghoon, as Jay was often too busy talking to someone else. Tonight was one of those nights; half an hour into the party, an important businessman approached Jay and started talking to him, completely ignoring you. He always ended up apologizing later on, but you didn’t reproach him for it - you knew he had a reputation to uphold and that these events were important for him. Plus, it wasn’t like he owed you anything - you weren’t his girlfriend after all, even if the line between real and fake had started to blur more and more often as of late.
Feeling out of place, you looked around the room and found Jake and Sunghoon at the bar, six shots lined up in front of them. You had never gotten drunk at any of these events, not wanting to risk embarrassing Jay or his parents, but tonight seemed like it was gonna be the most boring one as of yet. So you gestured to Jay that you were leaving and joined the two boys.
“Room for one more?” you asked when you reached them. They turned around and smiled at you; this was clearly not their first drink of the night.
“Of course!” replied Jake excitedly, beaming at you. You could tell he already had a few drinks in his system. Without further ado, you each took a shot glass in your hand, clinked them and brought them to your lips, dipping your heads back. The burning of the alcohol as it glided down your throat was both repulsive and intoxicating, and you were soon reaching for the second one. The boys cheered you on and quickly mirrored you.
Although you’d promised Jay you’d always be on your best behavior, as the evening went on, you never refused a drink that the servers approached you with or the boys offered you. Without Jay to make snide remarks about the snouty guests with, the evening was a lot less fun, so you couldn’t help but down every glass of alcohol that came near you; since Jake and Sunghoon were doing the exact same thing, none of you were realizing exactly how drunk you three were getting. At least, you weren’t going around the room, mumbling drunkenly to everyone; you were staying at a table in the corner, mumbling drunkenly to each other.
Jay was observing you from afar, trying not to worry and stay focus on the conversation (no matter how mind-numbing) he was having; but when he saw you almost fall out of your chair and burst into laughter right away instead of regaining your senses, he thought it was time to come check on you. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for having left you alone for most of the night, and he knew Jake and Sunghoon never stayed sober through these events, but in his defense, he didn’t think any of you would go that far.
He took a seat in the chair next to you, leaning close to you so you could hear him over the music and chatter of the guests. He asked you how you felt, and you gave him a lopsided smile in response. “Me? I feel great. This place is awesome once you’ve had-” you hiccuped, “a few drinks.”
Jay sighed but had an affectionate look on his face. “Right. I think it’s time to get you home.” He saw you open your mouth in what was probably going to be protest, so before you could say anything, he added, “And don’t even argue with me. I’m taking you home, let me just go let my parents know first. You two figure it out on your own,” he told Jake and Sunghoon, who had already started to doze off on their chairs.
He got up and headed towards his parents, and you watched him walk away with a pout on your face. Your vision was blurry from the alcohol and you could barely make out any faces, but you waved in what you hoped was the general direction of his parents.
“She just keeps getting better, doesn’t she? Even when she’s drunk, she doesn’t embarrass herself,” said Mr Park when Jay announced your departure. “I’m glad you have her, son.” Jay was glad for the dimness of the room, which meant his dad wouldn’t notice how hard he was blushing. Even if it was all an act, thanks to his parents, he had gotten closer to you than he thought he ever would.
He bid goodbye to his parents and a few other guests, including Jake’s and Sunghoon’s parents, making them aware of their kids’ state, then went back to get you. The trek to the car wasn’t the easiest as tiredness had started to hit you and your body grew heavier against your will. You fell asleep as soon as your head hit the back of the passenger seat and Jay couldn’t help but think you were the cutest thing in the world. He then realized how far gone he must be to think you still looked precious in your current state.
The car ride was silent, your quiet snores and the soft chatter of the radio the only sounds filling up the space. Jay thought you were dead asleep as you didn’t wake up when he fished your keys out of your bag and carried you bridal style out of the car and to the door, but really, you just didn’t wanna have to walk. When he got to the door, though, you thought it would’ve been unfair to make him struggle that much, so you opened your eyes and quietly told him to let you on the ground. He walked you to your room, tucked you in bed and even got a wet wipe to take your makeup off for you.
As he gently swiped it over your eyes, trying not to hurt you, your drunken state got the best of you and you asked, voice barely over a whisper, “Why are you doing all this?”
He didn’t say anything for a minute, and you thought he might not have heard you, until he replied, “Because I want to.” You were too tired to press the matter any further, although you desperately wanted to. You’d have to wait until you were sober - if you’d have the courage to bring the subject up then.
When he was done and got up from your bed, the sudden absence of his presence around you made you panic, so you called out, “Jay?”
“Yeah?” he said, and you hoped you weren’t imagining how expectant he’d sounded.
“Will you stay?”
Your eyes were too heavy to even open, so you couldn’t see his reaction. After a second that felt like an eternity, he answered, “Of course.”
You heard him steal a pillow and lay down on the carpeted floor next to your bed. Maybe it was the remnants of alcohol in your system, or the fact that spending so much time together, especially as his girlfriend - fake girlfriend - had made you see him in a new light, or the fact that you felt like your whole world would collapse if you didn’t have him next to you at that moment, or all three of those things. All you knew was that something beyond your control made you whisper “come here” in the quiet of your room, and, when he got under the covers with you but kept his distance, made you wrap your arms around him and cling onto his shirt as if he would disappear.
You slept like a baby that night, but Jay barely got a wink of sleep, the sound of his own heart beating uncontrollably keeping him awake.
—
You woke up that Sunday morning with a ringing headache, an upset stomach and a thirst you knew you wouldn’t be able to quench no matter how much water you drank. Your bed was empty, and the only thing that reminded you Jay sleeping overnight wasn’t a fever dream was his scent lingering on your pillow. The pang in your heart at his absence was hard to ignore - you were definitely curious about what it’d be like to wake up in Jay’s arms.
The busy chatter coming from the kitchen forced you out of your bed, although you would’ve rather stayed there all day. As soon as you opened your bedroom door, the smell of pancakes and sizzling bacon attacked your nose, and you hurried downstairs.
The sight of Jay cooking breakfast for you and your mother alone was enough to cure your hangover. You sneakily watched from the staircase as he expertly flipped pancakes and cooked eggs at the same time, all while holding a conversation with your mom. You walked into the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of coffee before taking a seat next to your mom, trying to but failing to suppress a smile. “I didn’t know you were also a housewife, Jongseong,” you said, voice still groggy with sleep.
“I thought it was the least I could do after making you attend such an awful event,” he answered, and you had the suspicion he was only being nice because your mom was there, even though she knew you two weren’t actually dating.
He kept that energy all throughout breakfast, making your mom laugh, and you watched him play his charm on her, glad you didn’t need to participate in the conversation. Any mom would be lucky to have him as a step-son, you caught yourself thinking.
Your mother hugged him when he left, and turned to you with a smile as soon as she’d closed the door. “Y/N, there’s no way in hell you don’t wanna date that boy. Hell, if he wasn’t half my age, I probably would.”
You took a cold water bottle from the fridge and said, “We’re not talking about this,” then headed up the stairs to your room. You ignored her calling after you and laid down in bed. Last night had given you a lot to think about.
—
You never got as drunk as that night again, not wanting to repeat that situation. Your relationship with Jay had already changed so much in so little time, but now, there was a lingering tension that always kept you on edge, and it wasn’t due to the constant arguing. It was due to the way you couldn’t get his scent on your sheets out of your head and the way he couldn’t forget how you had held onto him that night. You two had always said whatever was on your mind to each other, especially if it was something that would annoy the other, but now unspoken words constantly lingered between the two of you.
Your friends saw right through you; even though you tried to play it cool, it was painfully obvious that Jay was much more than just competition to you now. You hadn’t told them about the time he’d slept over and made you breakfast, knowing you’d never hear the end of it; but they didn’t need to know about that to see something had changed. It was clear in the way you talked about him, which had gone from irritated to excited, or how you never mentioned Heeseung anymore. One time, you’d even said “dating Jay” instead of “fake-dating,” and Sunoo had immediately picked up on it.
“That-that’s what I meant!” you’d exclaimed defensively, but they’d all looked at you with teasing smiles.
Jay hadn’t been very discreet when he’d given you bags of designer clothes all over campus, like in the cafeteria, in a random hallway, or in a lecture hall, and given his immense popularity (you know, being handsome and rich and all that), a few rumors about you two dating were being spread around. But they hadn’t really blown up, since the both of you always denied them whenever someone asked you if they were true, because you didn’t need to keep the pretense at uni.
The pretense - because that’s all it was, of course. Play pretend. Fake dating, keyword fake. But everything with Jay felt too real - the laughter in his car on the way to and fro the events, the smiles you exchanged from across the room, his hand brushing against yours when you sit next to each other during lectures. It wasn’t enough to have his arm around your waist once or twice a week, and it drove you crazy that you had him in bed right next to you but that you’d let him go. You needed to have him close, and for it to be real.
It was a sunny March afternoon when you realized this. Your week was surprisingly unbusy - along with the preparation for your lectures and tutorials, you only had two small online quizzes to complete, and all your bigger deadlines were so far away that even you didn’t see the point in starting on them already. So, armed with your favorite book and plenty of snacks, you’d decided to head to the park next to campus and spend a relaxing afternoon in the sun. It went as planned for about an hour, when an all too familiar voice called out your name - a voice that used to make you sigh in annoyance and roll your eyes automatically, but that now made your heart skip a beat in nervousness, you realized with some alarm.
“Hey! What are you doing here?” He sat down next to you on your picnic blanket, beaming at you like you were his good old friend he’d just run into. He had a professional-looking camera with him, something you’d never seen him carry around. You were so taken aback by his excitement at seeing you that no words formed in your mind, and you just raised your book and waved it stupidly.
Jay chuckled when he saw what you were reading. “Twilight, of course. And that’s the last one, isn’t it?” He shook his head in mock-disappointment at you. “I can’t believe you would put yourself through the torture of reading four of those books, Y/N.”
You just mumbled something about them being fun to read, turning your gaze back to the cover of the book you were holding. What the hell was wrong with you?! Usually, you’d be quick to shoot an answer back at Jay, either defending yourself or attacking him on one of his own weird preferences (you’ll never forget the day they had corn at the cafeteria and Jay had scarfed down at least five cobs in one sitting). But right now, Jay’s presence next to you turned your insides to liquid and rendered you unable to think properly. You hated it.
But then you noticed something on the book cover - “Jay, how do you know this is the last one?” From the corner of your eye, you saw Jay’s head snap up while you turned the book in your hands. “There’s no number on it.”
“O-oh,” he started, and judging from the growing blush on his face, you knew you’d caught him. This brought some of your usual confidence back to you. “Isn’t it common knowledge that Breaking Dawn is the last book in the series?”
You giggled at that. “Absolutely not.” His guilty expression only made you want to press further, and you added, “That’s something you’d only know if you’d watched all the movies and made the effort to remember the separate titles.”
He looked away, letting out a small hum as he found sudden interest in his camera. You were still smiling at him in disbelief. “Jongseong, have you seen all five Twilight movies?”
He furrowed his eyebrows and kept avoiding your gaze. “Pffft. No.”
“Jongseong.”
At the sound of his name, he abruptly turned his head in your direction, and his glare only made you smile even more. “You’ve actually seen all five movies, I can’t believe this,” you said, almost laughing. Jay’s eyes softened slightly, just enough for you to notice. He turned his attention back to his camera, but he was smiling down at it as he spoke this time.
“It’s just that you’ve mentioned them so often, I thought I should check at least the first one out. Turns out they’re pretty addictive,” he admitted sheepishly.
“So you watched them for me?” you asked, and your voice was more admirative than you’d had intended it to be - you wanted to tease him, not let him know that what he’d just said actually touched you.
“I watched them for… research purposes,” he conceded. Your eyes met. Your cheeks were starting to hurt from all the intense smiling this conversation was bringing you, but you couldn’t help it. This time, you were the one to look away.
“Research purposes, of course.” A short silence ensued, the sort of silence you should’ve been used to with Jay by now but that always made you feel giddy - the sort that’s awkward in a lighthearted way, the sort where you’re repeating all the words that have just been said in your head and committing them to memory. The sort where you hope the other is feeling all the things you’re feeling.
You broke it first. “What about you, what are you doing here?”
Jay raised his head, looking like he’d just remembered he had come here for another purpose than just talking to you. “Right. I have a project for this elective I’m taking, so I need to film some stuff and I thought it’d be nice to do it here,” he explained, shrugging.
“Sounds cool,” you said, and you hoped he knew you actually meant it. He looked at you again, and he seemed surprised. “Tell me more,” you added, and from the way his features lit up, you could tell you had said the right thing. You positioned yourself more comfortably on the blanket as you listened to him.
“Oh, well, our professor’s a bit of a romantic so the project is all about finding beauty in the small things, the happiness around us, love…”
Your gazes locked the moment he said that word, but it only lasted a second. Jay was quick to clear his throat and go back to his explanation, but it took you a few more seconds until you could focus on his words again. When you snapped out of it, he was showing you some films he’d already taken. They were all very short, just three or four seconds long, but a peacefulness emitted from each of them. An encouraging message scribbled into a lecture hall table, a cat laying on a windowsill, enjoying the sun, an old couple walking slowly hand-in-hand, teenage girls celebrating a birthday at an ice cream parlor, the metro passing quickly through the frame as the sunset paints the sky orange in the background. All beautiful moments that make up life, but that you never take the time to fully appreciate.
“This… this is beautiful, Jay,” you breathe, mesmerized by what he’d manage to capture.
“Yeah? Not too cheesy?” he asked, a small smile on his lips.
“Not at all. I think your professor will love this, you completely grasped the subject.”
He let out a shaky breath of relief, his smile getting wider. “Nice,” he said under his breath. Then he suddenly turned his head to look at you, an intensity in his gaze you hadn’t expected. “Would you mind if I took a video of you? Add you to the film?”
“W-what, like here? Right now?”
“Yeah,” Jay said, and when he smiled at you like that, who were you to say no?
“Okay, sure.” You tried to shrug, play it cool, but something about Jay looking at you through his lens and adding a video of you to all those beautiful ones he’d just shown you made your heartbeat speed dangerously.
“Great,” he beamed. “Just read your book. Pretend I’m not here,” he instructed. As if you could be anything less than hyper-aware of his presence, you thought.
Thankfully, the video was shot in just a few minutes as Jay searched for the best angle to take it from. Before you knew it, he was already back next to you, mirroring your position on the blanket as he laid on his stomach. You tried to ignore how his shoulder brushed against yours as he leaned on his forearms, showing you the video. You had to admit, it looked really nice - from this angle, the sun shone down on you perfectly, and you could see the wind blowing through the tree leaves in the background. It fit perfectly with the other videos.
“Beautiful,” Jay whispered, looking at the film with nothing but fondness in his eyes.
You didn’t linger on his words too long, just took the chance to tease him: “Are you complimenting me or your videography skills?”
The look in his eyes didn’t change as he turned his head and gazed down at you. “You, of course.”
A smirk tugged the corners of his lips up as he took in your flustered expression, your incoherent mumbles. “Whatever,” you mumbled when you regained the ability to speak.
Another comfortable silence settled between the two of you as Jay busied himself with his camera while you read the same paragraph over and over, unable to concentrate on the words. You desperately wanted to say something, but had no idea what, so you were grateful when Jay broke the silence.
“Just need to edit this all together on my laptop, and then I’m all done. Thanks for your help, Y/N.”
“I didn’t do anything, though,” you said with a small smile. His compliment from earlier was still ringing in your ears.
“But you did. I think that shot of you will end the film perfectly.”
Sure, Jay had gotten nicer and nicer to you as time passed - but today, he was really laying it on thick. He was making it hard to breathe properly. All you could do to save yourself was change the subject.
“So, this is for the Visual Studies part of your degree, right?”
For the second time today, Jay’s expression went from surprise to delight - you remembered, he thought. “It is, yeah,” he replied, with a wide grin he couldn’t control. He seemed to hesitate for a bit, as if deliberating whether he should say whatever it was he wanted to say or not. You were happy to see he opted for telling you. “If it was up to me, it’s the only thing I’d have done.”
You studied him for a bit. With just this simple sentence, you realized Jay’s life wasn’t as simple as you’d always imagined it to be. “But it’s not up to you, I’m guessing.”
He smiled sadly, and you had to resist the urge to take him in your arms. All these things you had been feeling for him, they weren’t supposed to be there, and you were getting really tired of fighting them back.
“It isn’t, no.” He turned over to lay on his back, and you imitated him, so that you were now both staring up at the sky. He sighed before speaking again. “My father isn’t a particularly conservative man, but he does like tradition. He wants to keep the company in the family, and as his only child, I’m the one the responsibility falls upon. He’s never even asked me if this was what I wanted to do, just assumed I’d be happy with it.”
In your three years of knowing Jay, you’d thought how unfair it was that he wouldn’t have to go through the hoops of job applications and job interviews. He already had a top position waiting for him as soon as he got out of college. But now you realized that he was completely trapped in the position - all of the decisions you’d taken academics- and career-wise had been your own, while Jay’s had been chosen for him in advance.
“I picked up photography as a hobby to get away from it all and ended up really falling in love with it. I have control over my camera even if I have zero control over anything else in my life,” he explained with a defeated chuckle.
You let your head fall to the side and looked at him. “I had no idea about any of this.”
Jay met your eyes and smiled. The sun was right behind you, so he had to shield his eyes from it to look at you. “Of course not. I never mentioned it.”
“I feel like I should’ve known, for some reason.”
His smile got wider. You looked away. “Why?”
“Just ‘cause. Maybe I would’ve gone easier on you if I knew you were also struggling.”
“I wouldn’t have let you.” He bumped your shoulder with his, making you let out a chuckle.
A beat passed before you spoke again. “Guess we both have a lot of pressure on our shoulders, huh? Even if they’re different kinds.”
“Guess we do.”
“Then we’re more similar than I’d thought,” you said, and looked at him again.
“Guess we are.”
A smile bloomed on your lips, and Jay’s eyes drifted down to it. That simple action made you panic, and you suddenly sat up. He didn’t have time to ask if everything’s alright, you were already throwing your stuff back in your bag and mumbling something about the time and having to go. You stood, and turned to Jay before scurrying off. “I’ll see you around.”
Jay chuckled, slightly confused, but let you go. It wasn’t until he left himself that he’d realized you’d left without your picnic blanket.
—
After that afternoon, you tried to pretend nothing happened, and that you hadn’t run away just because of Jay glancing down at your lips. You were already getting worked up over things you shouldn’t even be thinking about when it came to him - you didn’t need to have Jay kissing you on your mind.
Thankfully, Jay didn’t bother you about it, and you got back into your routine of arguing by class and pretending to be a couple by night. Everything was fine.
That is, until Mr Park happened.
You had waited all week, hell, all month for this: Jay’s dad was about to give a special talk for the School of Business on how to get a company started and efficiently run it, but most importantly, he would announce how to apply for a summer internship at his firm. You’d made sure to get there early so you could get a good seat. He noticed you when you walked in the amphitheater, and motioned to you to come see him.
“Y/N! Lovely to see you, thanks for coming,” he greeted, beaming down at you. It always surprised you just how similar his smile was to his son’s.
“Of course, Mr Park! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Come and see me after the talk, yeah? There’s something I want to tell you.”
God, what was it with Park father and son to announce things like that? Why not just say it straight away? You kept those thoughts to yourself and nodded, then sat down at a seat in the front.
You listened intently the whole time and took down rigorous notes. When it was over, you had to wait another twenty minutes as people asked him questions, until he finally announced that was all he had time for today. You headed down towards the stage, and complimented him on his talk. Most people in the room had started trickling out, but there were still a few students waiting at the doors, hoping to catch him before he left.
“Oh, thank you, thank you,” he said with a chuckle, before taking a deep breath. “I realize now what I said earlier might have made you nervous, but don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.”
You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Good. “I just wanted to thank you for being such a good girlfriend to Jay. I’ve always been proud of him, but I know he has a lot on his shoulders, so it’s nice to see that he has someone like you to rely on.”
You smiled at Mr Park, saying it was nothing, but you felt guilty. He truly believed in you and Jay, when the two of you were only pretending. Even though it didn’t always feel that way anymore.
“Oh, and for the internship, I’m sure you’ll understand that it wouldn’t look too good if I gave it to you. But don’t worry, I’ll put in a good word for you wherever you decide to apply.”
A second passed. Then another, and another, until your lack of answer was becoming weird, and you had to say something. “Oh. Right. Of course, I understand,” you replied, hoping the disappointment in your voice wasn’t too obvious. You exchanged a few more words until you said you needed to get back to studying.
As you turned around to exit the room, you noticed everybody who had been waiting for Mr Park was staring right at you, wide-eyed. You tried to ignore them and get to the doors, but a girl stopped you. “So the rumors are true, you really are dating Jay?”
You’d never seen her in your life and were a bit shocked that a stranger could demand information about your love life, but you nonetheless shook your head and started to say, “What? No.”
“Why are you lying? We just heard everything,” said another voice.
“Yeah, it doesn’t matter anyway, just don’t lie.”
You turned your gaze away from the students to look behind you at Mr Park. Or more precisely, at the lecturer mic wrapped around his waist. From where you were, you could make out a tiny red light on the mic, signaling it was still on.
Crap.
—
As soon as you were outside, you called Jay. He picked up after a few rings, groaning, “What? I’m at the library.” Ah, there was the Jay you knew.
“I’ll be here in two, come outside.”
“But-”
“Right now,” you said sharply and hung up.
Jay had wanted to scold you for disturbing him like that, but as soon as he saw you, eyebrows furrowed and biting your lip nervously, worry overcame him. “Hey. You okay?” he asked gently, placing his hands on your forearms.
“Yeah. I’m fine, but, um, everybody knows. »
He looked at you questioningly, and when you wouldn’t explain further, he asked, “Knows what?”
“You. Me. That we’re dating. Well, they think we’re dating.”
“What? How do they know?”
“Your dad. We talked after his presentation, and he thanked me for being a good girlfriend, except his mic was on. So everybody heard. And you know how gossip travels here, so everybody’ll know by tonight,” you said, sighing in exasperation.
Jay thought for a while. “Well, who cares if they know? We don’t have to change the way we act with each other. That’d be more suspicious, if anything. We’ll just have to not deny it when people ask if we’re dating.”
Your frustration got the best of you and you scoffed, giving Jay a harsher look than you wanted to. His hands left your forearms. “How far is this gonna go, Jay?! How much longer do we have to-” You realized how loud your voice was, and switched to whisper-shouting instead of just shouting. “To pretend? I can let you parade me around those CEOs and whatnot, but I don’t wanna have to keep the charade up on campus, too.”
Jay’s law locked. He looked like you’d just punched him. But he didn’t say anything, so you dropped it. “Anyway, that’s not even the bad part. Your dad told me I wouldn’t get the internship. And it’s fine, I guess I can get one somewhere else. But I wasn’t expecting it, and I was really looking forward to working at your dad’s firm.”
Again, he was silent for a small while, until he muttered, “Right.”
You looked up at him, and he was avoiding your gaze. Why wasn’t he surprised, or angry? Why wasn’t he reacting?
“Did… did you know?” you asked, unable to keep your voice from shaking.
Nothing.
“Jay. Did you know?” you repeated, tone harsher, more impatient.
“Um. Yeah, I knew,” he mumbled. He still wouldn’t look you in the eye.
You shut your eyes for a few seconds, trying to grasp the situation. “Wh- you knew? And you didn’t say anything?”
“Sorry,” he said, eyes trained on his shoes.
“Sorry? That’s it?” You shook your head in disbelief. You almost wanted to laugh. “How long have you known?”
“Since the beginning, really. My dad’s not the type to do favors, and he wants to keep up that image. So if you’re my girlfriend, he wouldn’t give you the internship.”
You couldn’t say anything. Not getting the internship was one thing. You could get over it. But Jay knowing from the start and keeping it from you, that was what really hurt you. You could feel tears forming in your eyes, but you walked away before Jay could see just how much he’d upset you.
“Y/N!” he called after you. He grabbed your wrist, making you stop in your tracks and turn around. The sight of you, teary eyes and staring at him with fury in your eyes, and knowing he was the reason behind it, made him indescribably angry at himself.
“Whatever it is you have to say, I don’t wanna hear it, Jongseong.” He tightened his grip on your wrist before you could snatch it away from him.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t know you wanted that internship. If I did-”
“If you did? Then what? You wouldn’t have asked me to be your pretend girlfriend? You would’ve let me have a chance at the internship?” You shook your head. “Of course not. So save it.”
You managed to get out of his grip and continued walking away, ignoring him as he called out your name again. When you were a few meters away, you turned around and said, venom only in your voice, “I hope you realize how selfish you are, Jay.”
That’s when his heart broke.
—
Jay had been right when he said people wouldn’t care about the two of you ‘dating.’ However, the people who did care, your friends, were more confused than anything: you had gone from bickering non stop, to denying couple rumors, to not talking to each other. It’d been a week since your argument with Jay, and you still didn’t want to hear him out. You didn’t want to have anything to do with him: you straight-up ignored him every time he tried to get you to talk to him, had blocked his number and shut down your friends and mom whenever they mentioned him.
You missed him; you missed his stupid arguments, and his stupid jokes, and his stupid face, and how it had started to feel like he genuinely cared for you. Or at least, that’s what he’d made you think. And he’d made you think it so well, that you thought you might have been starting to genuinely care for him as well. Which only made his betrayal a hundred times worse.
You’d decided to drown your sorrows in textbooks, and spent most of your time at the library. On Thursday, you were searching for the week’s essential reading in the Econ section, and as you took out the book in question, you saw a pair of eyes staring right at you. You tried not to shriek but you felt like your soul had left your body. You’d barely had time to gather your spirits when the culprit had come round to your side of the bookshelf, and of course, it was none other than Lee Heeseung. God, you thought, could that boy get any weirder?
“Trouble in paradise, or so I’ve heard?” he asked in lieu of a normal greeting. Whatever happened to hello?
“That’s none of your business, Heeseung,” you replied curtly, opening the book.
He tried not to be taken too aback by your attitude. He was used to stammering and blushing Y/N, not you-better-not-give-me-any-shit Y/N. He wouldn’t say he disliked the change.
“I’m not sure why you thought dating a guy like Jay was a good idea in the first place, anyway. You could do a lot better, you know,” he said, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony of it all. When you didn’t answer, he went on. “You know, we’ve missed you at the frat parties. I know you’ve been going to all those boring company events, but don’t you think it’d be more fun to let loose with us? Tomorrow night?”
This made you look up at him. He had that gaze again, the one you’d seen all those times, and you remembered why you’d liked him for so long. Something about his eyes, about the way he was waiting for you to say yes, made you reply, “I’ll think about it.” You returned his smile and headed back to your seat. You did think going to his party would be fun, and you definitely needed some of that right now.
Plus, you had the perfect dress for the occasion.
—
So here you were, standing in front of the frat house’s door, Sieun, Sunoo and Keeho at your sides, in the tight black dress Jay had given you but you hadn’t chosen for that one event. They were all used to this kind of party, but you’d only been a few times, and although they’d all hyped you up for it, you suddenly felt yourself deflate.
“Guys, what if I just embarrass myself like last time? I don’t think I could live with that-”
“Nope! We’re not having this conversation again!” Sieun exclaimed, already pushing you inside. “You look hot as fuck, and tonight you’re gonna have so much fun and forget all about Jay.”
Keeho and Sunoo gave her a stern look. “Sorry,” she quickly apologized, but you barely heard her over the bass of the booming music. It was 11 p.m. and the party was well into motion. People were drunkenly dancing on the designated dance floor, and you tried to not conjure up memories of that last party. There were people everywhere you looked: on the staircase, in the backyard, in the kitchen.
Your friends and you headed first to the mini-bar and shot down some vodka for liquid courage. As you started chatting, trying to see who was there, Heeseung approached you.
“Y/N! You came! And you look really good,” he said, taking in your figure. He pulled you into a hug which you returned warmly. The vodka was already having its effects on you, apparently.
“Can I get you guys a drink?” he asked you and Sieun. Keeho and Sunoo had already disappeared to the dance floor.
“Sure,” you said, smiling up at Heeseung.
Sieun looked between the two of you, and said, “Actually, I’ll join the others. Come dance with us soon, Y/N!” And like that, she was gone, giving you no time to protest. She thought she was being slick, that one.
You and Heeseung chuckled. He got you a red cup and you watched him as he expertly poured different juices and liquors in it. “So, what made you decide to come?” he asked, handing you your drink. You took a sip of it and nodded approvingly.
“I just needed a good party. To let loose, like you said. Plus, who am I to deny an invitation from the great Lee Heeseung?”
Neither of you was sure where all the confidence was coming from. As soon as you’d said that, you looked down at your cup and smiled shyly. Heeseung looked at you curiously, but he couldn’t help but grin as well. You chatted a bit more, drinking one, two, three cups of the heavenly concoction Heeseung made for you.
“Wanna dance?” he suddenly offered, extending his hand. Right at that moment, you saw Jay enter the house with Jake and Sunghoon. You saw him look around the room until his eyes zeroed in on you and the boy in front of you. Perfect, you thought. You smiled at Heeseung and took his hand, letting him lead you to the dance floor.
Somebody had dimmed down the lights and Lost in the Fire by The Weeknd was playing loudly, creating a sensual atmosphere in the whole room. Your body started swaying to the music, and you were thankful for the alcohol in your system, ridding your mind of any negative or self-conscious thought; you were just enjoying yourself, exactly like you’d wanted to do tonight.
You were getting lost in the music, when a pair of hands on the sides of your waist brought you back to reality. Heeseung got so close to you, you could feel his lips on your ear as they moved to whisper, “Having fun, princess?”
You nodded fervently, leaning your head back on his shoulder, closing whatever gap there was between your two bodies. His hands traveled from your waist to your hips and you could feel his broad chest against your back as you two moved to the rhythm of the music. From where you were, you had a view of the living room. Jay was sitting there, a girl sitting so close she might as well have been on his lap, but he was staring right at you. You knew never hooked up with random girls at parties, so he had to be doing this to get a reaction out of you. You hated that it worked, that it only made the fire in you burn harder - so as a response, you started grinding your ass against Heeseung.
When the girl actually sat on Jay’s lap, you couldn’t look anymore, so you turned around and put your arms around Heeseung’s neck and faced him. His eyes had glossed over and he was looking at you with a hunger you’d never seen before. Well, that wasn’t true - you’d seen him look at other girls that way, and you always knew what happened after that, but you chased the thought out of your mind, forgetting all about that promise you’d made to yourself of never becoming another one of his drunk fucks. Now that his attention was on you and you only, you felt yourself wanting more. His hands traveled further down your body as he grabbed at your ass, bringing your hips closer to his. He bent down to press wet kisses up your neck until he reached your ear.
“Wanna take this upstairs?” he asked. It sent shivers down your spine, but you couldn’t tell whether they were good shivers or not. You willed away your hesitation, smiling at him as he took your hand once again, this time leading you to what you assumed was his bedroom. As you walked up the stairs, you scanned the room and sure enough, found Jay sitting on a couch, staring right at you. You thought the beer can in his hand might explode, he was holding it so tight. Feeling you slow down, Heeseung tugged at your hand, and you detached your gaze from Jay’s, trying to drown out the feeling of guilt that was creeping up inside you.
As soon as he’d closed the door behind you, Heeseung wasted no time in pressing you up against the wall and kissing you hungrily. You hadn’t been kissed many times before, and surely not with such energy, but you were sure it was supposed to feel better. Heeseung was in no measure a bad kisser, he seemed to have the technique down to a T and kept a perfect rhythm. But you felt no fireworks, no butterflies, no light-headedness you’d always hoped would come with a good kiss. There was just no passion to it.
After a few minutes of making out, when you were starting to hope he’d get on with it, he said, breath irregular, “What would Jay say if he saw this, huh? Probably hates the idea of me kissing his precious girlfriend, don’t you think?”
The mention of Jay hit you like a ton of bricks. “Wh-what?” you stammered, not letting Heeseung kiss you when he leaned in again.
“Jay? Your boyfriend?” he repeated, looking at you bemusedly.
You chuckled once. Then twice. Then you just started laughing. “Oh, Jay? We’re not actually dating,” you revealed, your filter completely gone because of all the alcohol.
“What?” Heeseung took a sudden step back from you. His confused gaze had turned cold.
“We’re not dating, I said. It’s all fake, it was to make his parents happy,” you explained, yourself confused by Heeseung’s sudden attitude change.
It was his turn to laugh. “Wow. That’s impressive. You managed to fool me.” His smile dropped. “Now get the fuck out.”
“Excuse me?” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. Who the hell did this guy think he was?
“You heard me. Get the fuck out. There’s no point in fucking you if you’re not Jay’s girlfriend. You’re just a random loser.”
You stared at him for a few seconds, until you started laughing. It only seemed to make him angry. “What the fuck are you laughing about? I told you to get out.”
You sighed amusedly as if Heeseung was just joking around. “I just think it’s funny that you won’t fuck me because I’m not actually Jay’s girlfriend, when that’s not stopped you from getting with a different girl every single weekend. Whore,” you said, adding that last part in a whisper. You didn’t actually care that Heeseung slept around, not anymore, at least, but you wanted to get a reaction from him after the way he’d treated you.
But perhaps you went too far, because Heeseung’s eyes turned even angrier, and he pushed one of your shoulders harshly, making you almost hit the wall. “I’ll tell you one last time. Get out, you pathetic little bitch.”
Just at that moment, the door burst open, revealing a very angry Jay.
“What the fuck did you just call her?” he growled, heading straight for Heeseung and grabbing him by the collar. The other boy didn’t seem fazed, a smile back on his face, as if this whole situation was funny.
“Aw, Jongseong is mad I’m not being nice to his little fake girlfriend?” You guessed Jay must’ve looked confused, because Heeseung continued, “Yeah, she told me. To be fair, I should’ve known even you wouldn’t date a fucking beggar like her.”
You weren’t quick enough to stop Jay from bringing his fist up to Heeseung’s nose. You swore you heard something crack. But as soon as you saw him get ready for another punch, you ran to him and held his arm, shouting, “He’s not worth it, Jay!” and God, you almost wanted him to punch you because of how cliché that had sounded, but you truly thought Heeseung wasn’t worth losing any energy over.
Your voice seemed to make Jay snap out of his fury, and he looked at you, worry written all over his face. However, that only lasted a second, as his expression then shifted to something you’d never seen on his face before, and he grabbed your wrist, leading you out of the room. The commotion had gathered some attention, and you left the house under a bunch of people’s curious looks and chatter.
What was it with men grabbing you and leading you wherever tonight? You were tired of it, so as soon as you’d reached the front yard, you got your wrist out of his grasp, and demanded to know where he thought he was taking you. He grabbed your wrist again, and said, “To my place. We need to talk.”
The tone in his voice told you it was better not to test him, so you got in his car. Jay was always a safe driver, but this time, he sped through the whole city, even burning some red lights, reaching his apartment on the other side of town in a matter of minutes. You quickly texted your friends your whereabouts so they wouldn’t have to worry. The whole car ride had been silent but you could feel him fuming next to you, and you had no idea what to expect when you entered his apartment.
His place was exactly like you’d imagined it: modern, spacious, and way more organized that any other university student’s flat would be, but also had a lot of personal touches. It was very Jay, and if it hadn’t been for the tension between the two of you, you’d have immediately felt at ease there.
Jay walked through the dark apartment to the kitchen, where he turned on a single light. You followed him, unsure what else to do. He leaned against his hands on the island counter, head hung low, and you went to stand on the other side of the counter, waiting for his next move. When his head snapped up and he peered straight at you, you could barely decipher the look in his eyes, but thought it contained a mixture of jealousy, anger, and… hunger. He’d never looked at you that way before, and his gaze itself created a ball in the pit of your stomach. You told yourself it really wasn’t the moment, but you couldn’t help but feel desperately attracted to him.
“What the fuck were you doing with Heeseung?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.
You scoffed. “What the fuck were you doing with that random girl?”
“I wanted to make you jealous.” He hadn’t hesitated a second before answering, and his confidence destabilized you. You’d guessed that had been his plan, but hearing him say it made you feel weirdly shy. “Now answer me. What the fuck were you doing with Heeseung?”
You couldn’t hold eye contact anymore, so you looked down at the counter, and replied, “I um, I was drunk, and I… I wanted to make you jealous too, I guess.” You looked back up at him, wanting to gauge his reaction. He was now wearing a smug look, like he’d won something over you. He slowly walked over to your side of the counter, and when he reached you, he put his hands on the counter on each side of you, making you lean back against it. You gulped at the way he towered over you
“And why did you want to make me jealous?” He was so close to you now that when he uttered those words, voice barely over a whisper, you felt his breath fan over your face. As much as you tried to keep eye contact, your gaze fell down to his lips, and you saw him smirk. He caught your chin between his index finger and thumb, nudging your head up. “Eyes up here, doll.”
Your eyes met his again. He was looking at you so intently, you thought your knees might buckle under you. He cocked an eyebrow, patiently waiting for your reply. “Because I…”
It was so obvious, but you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to say it, or even let yourself think it, before. But it needed to be put out there, once and for all. There was no point in fighting it anymore. “Because I like you, Jongseong.”
To your surprise, his smirk turned into a cheeky grin. It made some of the tension dissipate, but not enough for you to breathe properly again. “I like you too, Y/N.” You sighed out of relief at his words and mirrored his smile.
“Can I kiss you?” he said, the thumb that had been holding your chin caressing your bottom lip.
“I thought you’d never ask,” you breathed, and he leaned in, your lips meeting delicately. It stayed that way for a few minutes, until the pent-up feelings that had been threatening to come out finally did, and hunger and passion took over the kiss. Jay was kissing you like a man starved, and all you could do was return everything he was giving you. This was nothing like you’d imagined it; it was infinitely better. Talk about fireworks, or butterflies, or light-headedness, you felt like you were on another plane of existence, like a kiss that felt this good and was this freeing wasn’t humanly possible.
Your hands slipped under his shirt and the sudden contact of your cold hands against his warm skin made him shiver. You were glad to see you had as much effect on him as he had on you. Never breaking the kiss, he led you to his bedroom and sat down on his bed, gesturing for you to straddle his lap. Your dress rode up your calves a little bit, and he used this opportunity to pull it further up until it bundled up around your hips, leaving your lower half almost naked. You could feel how hard he was getting underneath your clothed core, and as the kiss grew needier, you started grinding against him, getting the both of you off. When you heard him groan against your lips, something snapped in you, and you wanted to hear that sound over and over, so you doubled down on your actions.
His hands, which had been resting on your ass, came up to the nape of your neck, and he grabbed you by the hair, exposing your neck to him. He started pressing down eager kisses along your jawline, throat, and collarbones. When he found a spot in the crook of your neck you particularly liked, he started attacking it like crazy, sucking at the skin and turning you into a moaning mess. One of his hands came to cup your breast and he was very glad to find you were not wearing a bra. Your nipple had hardened through the fabric, and he started playing with it. That, as well the feeling of him in your neck and against your core, was overwhelming, and you felt like you were about to pass out because of how good it all felt. You didn’t know what to do with your hands so you alternated between running them over his arms and tugging at his hair.
As your lips met again, teeth almost clashing because of the intensity, you started unbuttoning his shirt. When it was off, you couldn’t not stare at him. You’d had an idea already, but you still couldn’t believe how toned his arms, chest and abs were. You thought to yourself, God, he’s so hot, and hadn’t realized you’d actually said it out loud until he jokingly said, “Yeah?”, looking up at you with the biggest smile. His hands ran over your calves, your thighs and your ass, sending shivers along the way, and he said, “You’re not too bad yourself, doll.” He kissed you with much more gentleness than before. “In fact, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
You kissed him so he wouldn’t see the blush spreading on your face. He put his hand on your lower back, and guided you down on the bed until you were laying on your back, him hovering over you. He pulled your dress all the way up, helping you get rid of it. You were now left in only panties in front of him, and you would’ve imagined that to be intimidating, but his gaze was truly making you feel like a goddess. Nonetheless, you didn’t want to be the only one naked, so you tucked your fingers under his trousers’ waistband, gesturing for him to take them off. He chuckled but immediately obliged, getting rid of them in a matter of seconds. You had an even better view of his now fully-hard cock, and its size made you gulp. Your mind was quickly off of that, though, as he started trailing kisses all the way down to your breasts, taking one of your nipples in his mouth as his hand came up to the other. Your back arched at the sensation, and you only wanted more, more, more. Your fingers tugged at his hair and you breathed out his name between moans.
After a few minutes, he traveled further down your body, until he was face to face with your dripping core. He hooked his fingers under your panties, looking up at you and asking you if this was okay. You nodded impatiently and he chuckled at your reaction. How could you be so cute even in this moment? He took your panties off excruciatingly slowly. You wanted to take your time, but you also wanted him where you needed him the most.
You did feel a bit shy when he stared at your sex with the utmost wonder, musing to himself, “So pretty.” He slid a finger between your folds, making you moan in relief and pleasure, and added, “So wet, too.”
You had lifted your body onto your forearms so you could take a good look at him. He peered up at you and, with a small smile, asked gently, “Tell me if it feels good, okay?”
“Okay,” you replied, nodding fervently.
Without wasting another second, he licked a stripe up your core, making you moan again, louder this time. He took that as confirmation to go on and continued exploring your pussy with his tongue. You practically screamed out in pleasure when he found your clit, and by the time he started sucking on it, your thighs were shaking like crazy. You didn’t have any strength left in your body and your forearms gave out under you, so you just lied down on your back, fingers still tangled in and pulling his hair. You hadn’t been able to actually tell him it felt good, but you were sure he understood that much.
One of his fingers, and then a second, entered you, filling you up. “Shit, doll, you’re so tight. How are you gonna handle my cock?”
He curled his fingers inside you and they hit a certain spot that made you see stars, and you were coming all over his fingers and tongue in a matter of seconds, screaming out his name and a string of blasphemies. You had to physically lift his head from your core, telling him it was too much, otherwise he would’ve kept going. He gave you a sheepish smile and you couldn’t believe the boy grinning at you was the same one who’d just said and done all those lewd things to you. He pressed a small kiss on your inner thigh, then lay down next to you on the bed, taking in your flushed cheeks and blown-over eyes. He couldn’t believe he got to have you like this, in your most vulnerable state, all to himself.
When you’d calmed down from your high, you managed to say, “That was amazing, Jay.”
He let out a soft chuckle and kissed your forehead, then trapped your lips with his own. You could taste yourself on his tongue, but you didn’t mind. After a few minutes of lazily making out, you threw your leg over his to position yourself over his hips, and started pressing feather-like kisses down his neck. He’d made you feel so good, and you intended to return the favor.
You felt him sigh at your touch, but before you could go too far down, he stopped you by bringing his hands to both sides of your face, making you look up at him.
“Did I do something wrong?” you immediately asked, worry laced in your voice.
“No, no. God, no, you’re perfect.” he replied. “I just… I still feel so guilty for what I did, and I feel like I don’t deserve you right now.”
“Jay…”
He hid his face in the crook of your neck and held your waist tightly. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. You’re right, I was being selfish. I should’ve known you wanted that internship, and I knew you wouldn’t get it if my dad thought we were dating, but… I’ve wanted to be with you for such a long time, and when I had the chance to have you, even if it was just pretend, even if it meant lying to you, I couldn’t bring myself to not take that chance. I’m so sorry.”
You had completely forgotten the events of that week, and of that night. Your argument with Jay and Heeseung’s words seemed light-years away. “How long have you liked me?” you couldn’t help but ask. You should’ve been surprised by Jay’s confession, but for some reason, it made sense - what didn’t make sense was how you hadn’t noticed it, or how you’d thought it wasn’t possible that you might like him, too.
“Since we met,” he admitted shyly. “I would’ve told you, but you seemed to enjoy arguing with me so much, I was scared you’d just make fun of me.”
Since you’d met… so, three years? And he’d never said anything? “To be honest, I probably would’ve made fun of you at first,” you agreed light-heartedly. “But I also think it would’ve made me realize what an amazing person you are earlier. I’m sorry it took me so long.”
“That’s okay. I would’ve waited my whole life if it meant I could have you at the end.” Butterflies erupted all over your stomach at his words. You kissed him like you’d stop breathing if you didn’t.
Now that Jay had gotten what he wanted to say off his chest, you’d hoped you could continue your previous actions, and started pressing kisses down his neck, but he soon stopped you again.
“I’m getting the feeling you don’t want me to go down on you,” you said, half-joking.
He grinned and closed his eyes, as if fighting himself back. “I do, I promise you, I do.” When he opened his eyes again, they were full of affection. “But we’ve got so much time for that later. I just want to feel you around me right now. Would that be okay?” he asked, voice soft.
Your core pulsed at the thought of Jay inside you, and you nodded, breath growing erratic again. Jay gently lay you on your back, and took off his black boxers so that the two of you were finally completely naked, revealing his throbbing cock. He was right, how were you going to handle it? He rummaged around in his bedside drawer for a condom, and put it on with nervous hands.
He lined his tip at your entrance, pressing soft kisses all over your face and neck before pushing in as if to get you to relax. He kissed you gently on the lips. “Tell me if it hurts, and I’ll stop right away.”
He waited for you to nod again, and finally entered you. It immediately stretched you out like never before. The sound of you taking a sharp breath in made Jay stop in his tracks. You wrapped your hands around his biceps for support, then, letting out a deep sigh, told him to go on. He pushed in inch by inch until he finally bottomed out. You both let out a hearty moan at the feeling. It was so perfect.
He didn’t move for a few minutes, letting you adjust to his size. You had your eyes closed and were focused on relaxing, until all at once the pain of the stretch turned into pleasure, and you breathed out, “Please, move.” He obeyed and started rocking in and out of you, making you feel each inch of his length inside you. The sensation was intoxicating. You couldn’t stop any of the moans escaping your throat, and Jay took that as a green light to go gradually faster. Your bodies were moving at the exact same pace and you thought the two of you molded together perfectly, as if this was what you had been meant to do your whole life. His fingers were tightly gripping your hips as he thrusted into you harder and harder, making you moan so loud you were practically screaming in pleasure.
“You feel so fucking good, Y/N,” he said, throwing his head back and letting out a deep moan himself. Your hands roamed all over his body, unable to stay in one place at a time. He suddenly changed the angle of his hips and started hitting that spot inside you he had found earlier with his fingers, making your mind go hay-wire.
“Fuck, right there, Jay!” you screamed out, as he brought your hips down to his faster than you thought was humanly possible. Soon, you were coming again, and the feeling of you clenching down around him made him shoot his release into the condom. He fell on top of you, unable to carry his weight on his arms anymore. He only had enough strength to pull out and discard the condom, before nestling his head between your breasts. Tiredness seeped through your bones, and you both fell asleep in seconds, completely naked and arms around each other.
Jay woke up a few hours later, a cramp in his arm because of how you were laying down on it - the two of you had apparently switched positions at some point during the night. He softly pulled his arm away, trying not to wake you up. He checked his phone; it was 4:29 a.m. He looked down at you, admiring how soft you looked when you were sleeping. He still couldn’t believe his luck, it all felt like a dream to him. But then you shifted slightly, letting out a small whimper, probably because of a dream, and Jay knew this was happening for sure. He hugged you tightly, breathing in the scent of your hair, and, knowing you were fast asleep, murmured, “I love you.”
—
The sunlight peeking through the curtains and hitting your face softly was what woke you up the next morning. You were relieved to feel Jay’s arms around your waist as he hugged you from behind. You gently turned around, curious about what he looked like in the morning.
As expected, he was perfect.
You observed him for a while until his eyes fluttered open. “Good morning, handsome,” you whispered, pushing away the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.
“Good morning,” he replied, smiling sleepily. “Creep.”
Quietly, you gasped dramatically and said, “Is a girl a creep for looking at her boyfriend as he sleeps in the morning?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Boyfriend, huh?” he teased.
You grinned at him. “Yeah.”
“Well,” he said, returning your grin and tightening his grip around your waist, “my girlfriend can look at me all she wants.”
You’d technically been dating Jay for over three months now, but knowing it was finally real and not just pretend made you giddy. You buried your face in the crook of his neck and kissed him there, trying to hide your shy smile.
He took your head and lifted it to place a delicate kiss on your lips, which you returned like it was second nature. When you pulled away, you jokingly said, “Mh. Morning breath,” but Jay’s eyes opened wide and he immediately put his hand over his mouth, asking, “Seriously?”
You laughed at him and pulled his hands down, going back in for a kiss. It soon escalated, and you were reminded of the fact that neither of you had clothes on when you could feel Jay’s hardness pressing against your thigh. He apologized shyly, but you told him it was fine, and that you’d take care of it.
This time, when you two made love, it was much slower and light-hearted than the previous night, as if the two of you had finally realized that you had all the time in the world and could enjoy every single second. It was the perfect thing to wake up to.
You two lazied in bed, alternating between slowly making out and daydreaming together, until his stomach rumbled loudly and you really needed to pee. When you joined him in the kitchen, he was heating up waffles on the stove. You hooked your arms around his waist, pressing your chest to his back, and he hummed softly.
“Jay?” you whispered, lips just millimeters away from his ear.
“Yes, doll?”
“I love you too.”
permanent taglist: @k-ingzo @bbujiikseu @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl (ask to be removed/added!)
© asahicore on tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate or plagiarize my works. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!
#enhypen x reader#jay x reader#enhypen smut#jay smut#enhypen fluff#jay fluff#enhypen angst#jay angst#enhypen fanfiction#jay fanfiction#enhypen imagines#jay imagines#enhypen scenarios#jay scenarios
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Nurse Nightingale | James Potter x Reader
Marauders Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox
Summary: Someone wakes you up in the middle of the night, when you realize it's James looking for help you don't have the heart to refuse him
Content Warnings/Tags: fluff, blood, bruising, cuts, mentions of violence, insinuations of smut
Word Count: 1k
A/n: I'm currently using the uni holiday as an excuse not to study so now I'm writing non-stop instead. Not quite smut but sorta if you're willing to squint
*Knock knock*
You turn around, looking at the clock on the bedside table. Who the hell is knocking on the door at 3 AM?
*Knock knock*
You turn onto your stomach, pushing your pillow over your head in an attempt to block out the noise.
*Knock knock*
It’s louder this time, more determined, and you hear someone speak:
“Y/N, it’s me. Please let me in.” He’s rambling a bit, he sounds tired as well.
A shiver goes through your body at hearing his voice, his voice always seems to mess with your head in a way nothing else can.
“What are you doing here James? It’s 3 AM.” You ask, through the still closed door, your voice dripping with sleep.
“Just, please, open the door..” He sounds desperate this time, so you decide to do what he asks. You stand up, maybe a little too fast, making your head spin, and walk towards the door. You open it, meaning to step aside to let him in, but when you see him illuminated by the hallway, you freeze.
He’s bleeding, a cut starting at his nose and going diagonally underneath his eye, he’s straightened his glasses but there's a crack in them, another bruise at his temple, one on his lips, those soft lips you always think about, even a bruise below his ear on his cheek masking his jawline.
“What in Merlin’s name happened to you?” You hear yourself whisper, more at yourself than him.
“It’s nothing..” he slures out “.. just wanted to see you.”
You move aside to let him into the empty room and he takes the opportunity, walking towards the bed, but not before grabbing you by your waist and giving you a quick, but passionate kiss. He takes you by surprise with it, your mind still trying to wrap around what happened, and your body falls into him, making him hiss from the cut on his upper lip, but he doesn't seem to want to stop regardless.
He sits down on your bed when he breaks the kiss, and you turn on the bedside lamp to get a better look at him. Small bruises are forming on his arms, and his muscles seem strained, his exhausted body melting into the bedding.
“Lay down, I’ll be right back.” you mumble at him before moving to the other side of your room where you left your wand. After a little searching, you find it, but with how tired you are, you’re not sure how much you trust yourself with it. You remember the small first aid kit in your bathroom, and move to get it before making your way back to James.
You see him struggling to take his jumper off, and move over to help him with it. Once it’s off he moves to lie down, and you put some extra pillows under his head, making him sit up a little more before pouring the sterilizer on a towel. You look over at him again, and wonder about how you’re going to do this, when you see him stretch his arm out to you. You take his hand and he pulls you onto his lap, making you straddle him and giving me the perfect position to patch him up.
You look at his chest, covered in blooming bruises, and when the towel hits the few open wounds, he groans a little, instinctively moving his hands to your hips to ground himself.
His eyes are closed, and even though he looks like he should be in pain, he seems relaxed.
He stays quiet the whole time, only the occasional hiss or groan leaving him. And when you’re done, having put everything back in its proper place, he asks you silently:
“Can I please stay over”
“Of course you can, I’m not letting you wander back in this state.” you tell him while moving to lie down beside him. He doesn’t seem satisfied though, and pulls you in even closer.
After a few more minutes of silence, you ask him:
“Jamie, what the hell happened to you..?”
“It’s, it’s nothing, really, just-" He seems a little hesitant, so you wait for him to continue.
“There, there were these guys…” He sounds a little angry, but you still don’t know what he’s talking about. “Do you remember the party that was going on, earlier tonight?”
“Of course I do.” you tell him. You had gotten tired early, and decided to head to bed while the others stayed a while longer.
“Well, turns out some of the Slytherins had noticed you, and they were talking about you.” He seems even angrier now, you remember this look, it’s similar to the look he got when he lost the Quidditch house cup, except this seems more personal somehow.
“They were talking about you, telling their stuck-up friends all the things he would do to you- calling you names and saying how he-” you see him clench his fists, his knuckles turning white.
“He was telling them how he would-, bloody hell, I can’t even get it out of my mouth.
But I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I, well, I may have punched him.”
“You did what?” you ask him, not fully wanting to believe what he’s telling you. Sure, he get detention often enough, but never for fist fights, he doesn't get in fist fights.
“I punched him, and I got into a fight with him and his friends.” The hesitance is back now, replacing his anger.
“I’m sorry y/n, but I couldn’t stand him saying those kinds of things about you.” You smile a little, and he looks confused.
“You got into a fight to defend my honour, Potter?” Your smile only growing.
He only nods and you don’t hesitate to lean in, kissing him softly. You can still taste the blood on his tongue, but you don’t care, and he doesn’t seem to either.
You shift over, and he pulls you in to straddle his lap once again.
You give him a quiet “I love you” in between kisses. He doesn’t need to say it back this time, his actions having spoken louder than words.
#james potter#james potter smut#james potter fluff#james potter x reader#james potter fic#james potter fanfiction#james potter x y/n#marauders#the marauders#marauders x y/n#marauders x you#marauders x reader#marauders fluff#marauders smut#marauders era#james potter x you#smut#light smut#fluff#harry potter#james potter imagine#james potter blurb
548 notes
·
View notes
Note
66. you’re sick and I feel bad because I’m pretty sure i gave it to you, so I bring you some of my great grandmother’s soup and watch movies with you with Eddie Spaghetti please 🥺
ty for requesting!! — eddie makes you soup (like the angel he is) after accidentally getting you sick (friends in love, fluff, 1.5k)
blurbcember ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
It’s a virtually impossible thing, you realize, to operate like a normal human being when you’re sick.
You’re reduced to a withering thing on your couch, rotting from the inside and out, and drowning in a sea of crumpled-up tissues. In your fever-induced hysteria, you’re pretty sure you’re dying when a knock sounds at your door.
You shout a hoarse “come in” with all the strength you have left. The last person you expect to walk in is Eddie Munson.
He’s wearing smudged eyeliner and a pink smile when enters your living room. His chestnut hair is more wild than you’re used to, but his eyes are made of a familiar melted chocolate. There’s a plastic bag in his pale, ringed hand, full of stuff you can’t make out.
You think he might be an angel.
“Eddie?” you sigh in a tiny voice, scratchy and quiet.
You look at him like no one’s ever looked at him before. Not like you’re excited to see him. No, it’s more than that — it’s like you’re relieved. Like out of a billion people that could’ve stepped through that doorway, you’re happiest that it’s him.
He cowers under the weight of your twinkling, tired gaze.
“Yeah. Hi. Sorry to, like, come over without calling or anything,” he apologizes, laughing awkwardly as he shifts his weight on his dirty sneakers. “But I felt a little bad about getting you sick at Steve’s the other night. I was gonna stay home, but Dustin wanted me to go. He insisted on it, actually—”
He’s rambling like an idiot, making a total fool of himself. He doesn’t know why you’re smiling so gently at him like you find it all endearing. “It’s not your fault, Eds,” you assure, voice slightly stuffy, as you shake your head at him.
“Well, it kinda is, actually, so…” Another awkward laugh tumbles from his smiling mouth. In his shyness, his gaze flits from yours to the bag in his hand. “I, uh— I wanted to do something nice, you know? Like, make you soup or something. But then I realized I don’t actually know how to cook, so I went to the store and got some of the canned stuff.”
“Oh,” you hum, then sniffle. “Thank you, Eddie. That’s— That’s really nice of you.”
“It’s no problem. Really. I can make it for you if you want. Or microwave it, I guess. So you can, you know, rest of whatever.”
“You don’t have to do that—”
“I want to.”
“I just don’t want you to get sick,” you agonize, face scrunched with a distant worry.
Eddie grins at your concern and shrugs off every ounce of it. “I already had it. So I’m basically immune at this point, right? I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s how the science works, anyway.”
You laugh for the first time in three days. You forget how sick you are until the action makes your chest ache. Your smile is weighed down by exhaustion, but it doesn’t waver once when you look at him. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”
Even though your muscles are achy, you manage to walk yourself to the kitchen. You tell Eddie you can put the soup on yourself, but he isn’t having any of it. He walks you back to the couch and warms it up for you — even puts it in a heart-shaped bowl he found in your cabinet, ‘cause he thought it might make you feel a little better.
He tastes it with a separate spoon to make sure it isn’t too hot, then rushes back to your side in record time.
“Thank you,” you murmur when he passes you the newly warmed-up soup. The words come out more scratchy than you mean for them to. You try to clear your throat, but you don’t think it makes it any better.
“Don’t thank me— I’m the reason you’re in this mess,” he laughs and sits on the couch beside you. He keeps a cushion of space between you, lest he get any closer and make you uncomfortable. “So, I’m not, like, above spoon-feeding it to you or anything.”
You try to laugh at his dumb joke. It comes out in a single, hoarse breath that makes your chest sting. “I think I got it from here. Thanks for the offer, though.”
Eddie runs out of stupid things to say and the apartment goes silent.
Your TV plays so low it’s basically on mute, and your neighbors talk on their porch outside — the sound of both gets increasingly louder without either of you talking over them.
He doesn’t know what to say — how to tell you that he’d like to spend more time with you without actually having to say the words. Confessing his schoolboy crush out loud, to the pretty girl he got sick, would be the least metal thing he’s ever done.
“Do you wanna, like, put on a movie or something?” he offers suddenly, rubbing his ringed fingers on his dark jeans to make them feel less clammy. “I can run to Family Video and bother Steve until he lets me take something for free? Unless you’re, like, totally sick of me— which would be totally understandable—”
“No,” you interject with a shake of your head, still trying to smile even though it takes so much energy out of you. “I mean, I’d like that, but…”
“But?” Eddie repeats when you trail off, brows raised behind his fluffy bangs.
You tilt your chin to your chest and peer at him through your lashes. Your eyes are red-rimmed and glassy, still pretty enough to drown in. “Don’t you have a show tonight?” you remind him in a gentle whisper.
His heart would swell at the thought of you knowing his show schedule if it wasn’t already dropping to his ass. He’d nearly forgotten all about it, too worried about you to remember the ten people at The Hideout waiting for him.
“Fuck…” he groans and slumps against the couch. His head tilts back and bears his pretty neck for you. You can see his pale jaw clench and his adam’s apple bob when he swallows. He’s too beautiful for his own good.
“You can go. It’s okay,” you assure gently.
His chocolate eyes melt for you when he opens them again. He looks sincerely apologetic, like leaving you hurts him the most. “I’d totally stay, but—”
“I get it. It’s fine,” you repeat, still grinning ‘cause you don’t know how else to look at him. You duck your sheepish gaze to the bowl in your lap and try to joke. “I’ll survive until tomorrow… I think.”
Eddie sits up again and leans closer to you. You get a better whiff of his musky cologne and the nicotine on his breath. “You better. ‘Cause I’m definitely coming over, and we’re definitely watching a movie, alright? All day until you’re sick of me.”
Your smile grows despite your exhaustion. You feel like this is his way of asking you out — like you’re too sick and he’s too nervous, and he’d love to do it some other way, but this is all he’s got for now. It’s more than enough for you.
“Sure,” you say with a firm nod.
“I can bring you more food, too, if you want! Whatever you feel like— say that word, and you got it.”
You falter for an answer to his sudden question.
He shakes his head. “That’s okay. Call me later if you want. I should be home around ten, if that’s not too late?”
“Okay,” you smile, then clear your throat when the word gets caught there.
“I’ll see you tomorrow— Feel better by then, okay? That’s an order,” he jokes and stands back up again.
He doesn’t know what compels him to kiss you on the cheek — only that it felt right to do it and that he didn’t even realize he was doing it until his lips brushed your warm jaw.
His cinnamon eyes go wide. His rosy mouth falls softly agape. He looks more surprised than you do, but you’re not entirely sure that’s possible. A moment you’ve been thinking about for ages just happened before you could blink.
You don’t think that’s very fair.
Eddie tries to laugh it off. “Forget I just did that… That was— That was really weird. Sorry.”
Your cheeks burn like fire. Not from the fever this time, but from the boy in front of you. From the yearning to feel him close again.
“I’ll talk to you tonight,” you promise, even though your throat still burns. You’re not sure you care too much, anymore. You wanna talk to him until you can’t anymore.
“Yeah,” he sighs, breathless for a reason he can’t name. He walks backwards towards the door. “See you around,” he says finally, before spinning on his sneakers and nearly tripping over your carpet.
You blink, and he’s gone. Again.
Your burning cheek still tingles with the imprint of his mouth. He’d asked you to forget, but you don’t think that’s possible. There’s no forgetting him at all.
#published by bug#eddie munson x reader#stranger things x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#stranger things#stranger things imagine#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fanfic#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson fic#eddie munson fanfiction#st drabbles#eddie spaghetti drabble#event: blurbcember
563 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi!! could i request "i'm in love with you, you dumbass." & "i've been following you around like a lost puppy since the day we met, yet you couldn't see?" with Max? thank you!
not enough
𐙚 all the words, all the love– it's still not enough (1.4k words)
d rambles. . . im sorry this took forever and that it kinda sucks. i did what i could. thank u for requesting
The room feels stuffy. Twenty minutes ago you were shivering but now you’re hot. The whole room pays no mind to your discomfort, you’re sure no one even has a clue how uncomfortable you feel in your own skin. You try to find the will to stay, to tough out the next hour or so for him. But the longer you stand in a crowd of people who you could care less about being here. It was no fun watching Max flirt with another girl at the bar anyways, and the more you stand and stare the more your will withers away.
It’s stretched thin, a rubber band being pulled well beyond its means. You’re holding one and Max has the other. He pulls and pulls and—
Max leans in. He leans down so close you can only imagine the lucky girl can smell his after shave and feel his warm breath tickle her skin. And he makes her laugh.
Snap.
You inhale sharply, balling the fabric of your dress to calm your nerves. You don’t bother to excuse yourself from the conversation you were stood in, just squeeze past bodies and through the room in search for just a bit for fresh air because you can’t fucking breathe.
The double glass doors take you out onto the bustling street and straight into the cold wind. You welcome the kiss of cold air against your skin, the shiver it sends down on your spine. You welcome the brief distraction because at least for the next few seconds you don’t have to feel your chest caving in. At least for now, even with people rushing by you with people to see and places to go, you are happy in your solitude. Misery and loneliness cannot find you in these five seconds, you are untouchable.
But it was merely just a moment, nothing less and nothing more. It’s fleeting, quick to slip from you. You’re pulled back down to earth when you hear your name called behind you, confused, waiting for an answer to an unasked question. You squeeze your eyes, ball your fist at your sides and find it in you to pretend like you’re alight. Breathe in, breathe out.
There you are, Max sounds relieved when he says it. “Why’d you leave?”
“Felt stuffy,” You admit curtly, still refusing to look at him. “Couldn’t breathe.”
Your tone does not fly by Max, and you miss the way he frowns at the back of your head because of it. But he’s Max, ever hopeful and ever oblivious. “Well come back, they’re about to make an announcement.”
Tension falls from your palm as you flex your fingers back. You inhale sharply, letting cool air fill your lungs and creep under your skin. “I think I might just go.”
Max’s footsteps pit-pat around you, feel his hand hold onto your elbow gently as he takes a look at you. He tries to find a sliver of emotion, a tell of why you suddenly want to leave. But all he finds is exhaustion, a dead-pan look that leaves him without a clue.
“You’re mad.” He shifts on his feet, says it like he knows because he just does. Of course he does. He steps out so he’s directly in front of you, head tilted so he can get a better look at your face. “You’re mad at me?”
You turn away. “I’m not mad at you.”
You’re mad at him. You’re mad he can’t see you, mad that he doesn’t want you. You are mad, but you don’t have a right to be. You’re upset and aching in your chest all over a boy who has no fucking clue. You’re mad. You’re mostly mad at yourself, for letting your feelings grow as much as they did, to allow your heart to dictate the way you move around him.
“But you’re mad. Why?”
You groan, head falling into your hands, “I don’t wanna talk about it, I just wanna go home.”
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” Max tucks his index finger under your chin, forces your gaze up to his face. You resent the way he worries, resent the way his bright blue eyes are just filled with it, it almost makes you feel guilty for the way your chest aches. His finger feels hot against your skin, shoots sparks through every nerve ending and suddenly the cold air does nothing to keep you calm.
You turn your head, yanking your chin away from him and take a few steps backwards as you search for the feeling of cold air, for the freedom of just being able to fucking breathe. You’re ashamed of the way your chest heaves, that you show just how weak he can make you with just one touch. Max asks what’s wrong, calls out your name with the same worry you saw in his eyes two seconds ago. It shouldn’t make your blood boil but it does. It fucking does.
“Stop! Stop! Stop!” You beg, “Please stop. Please stop saying my name and asking what’s wrong because—“ The cold air finally catches you and grabs the words in your throat. You swallow, hard, pushing down every single thought and mistake that threatens to come out. “I just need space.”
Max’s shoulder’s slump behind you, expression wounded and confused. “What’s your problem?”
It’s an honest question. It’s Max being Max— blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t spare your feelings, doesn’t tiptoe around your obviously fired state because why should he? He’s always been this way, and it was a trait that you’ve always found endearing. But in this moment, with smoke pouring out of your ears and your heart beating so hard it rattles your ribs, it was like turning up the stove on water that is already boiling. It’s just enough to break you, just enough for everything you’ve spent months trying to keep at bay to bubble over.
“You!” Your fingers rake through your hair roughly, undoing the effort you put in to make it look nice. You were shaking, every bit of you searching for bit of release and all you had was the words on the tip of your tongue.
“Me?!” Max answers back, confused. “What did I do?!”
“You’re just…” The words begin to tumble out of you in an incoherent stutter. “I've been following you around like a lost puppy since the day we met, yet you couldn't see? You still don’t see…”
You almost want to laugh at the way Max looks at you and how invisible you truly are. This was the moment it was supposed to click and yet he still doesn’t have a clue— like it’s almost unfathomable to him that you could ever want more than what you both share.
“I’m in love with you,” Your voice shakes, “you dumbass.”
Max’s brows furrow, eyes expectant. He’s waiting for the punchline, the part of the joke where you shove him back and say that you were only kidding. But you stand there, cold wind kissing your skin pink and the world just bustling by. Despite the people walking too and fro, despite the murmurs of conversation that are completely lost to you, the silence between the two of you was deafening.
You don’t know how long it is until the boy in front of you makes a move. You watch as he rubs his jaw, eyes cast past you as he searches for the right thing to say. The wind is knocked out of you as you watch Max try and fail to say something, anything. Instead you’re left to listen to the stammers and syllables of failed words.
I’m sorry, is all he manages.
He’s sorry that you’re upset. Sorry that you bore your heart out for him and all he had to show for was a stutter and stammer. He apologizes because he sees you, he sees all of you, and somehow you were not enough. Max says he loves you — because of course he loves you, you’re his best friend. He says that he appreciates you, that he can’t stand to lose you and he hopes that you would still want to stay even if he can’t love you that way. Max says all the right things, all the things that were meant to quell your aching heart. Instead it does the opposite. The words pluck at the pieces of your heart, shard by shard until you’re left with a hole in your chest in the shape of him. Max does everything right and yet, like you, it’s not enough.
#🏷️ the sad mix#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen angst
327 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dirty Work 32
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.
Characters: Loki
Note: Well, this escalated in a way I didn't plan.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
Mr. Laufeyson’s voice is a low drone. You can hear his curt tone as he comes through the front door. His slither is met by a booming timbre that makes you jump. Thor speaks loudly, enough for some of his words to thunder through the walls that divide you.
Your ears pulse as you try not to listen. You know you shouldn’t. By Laufeyson’s reaction alone, you know his brother is less than welcome. Thor’s presence brings you little peace yourself as the memory of his creeping touch crawls up your spine.
You sit behind the laptop and try to focus on the screen. If you can distract yourself, it will be over soon enough and Thor will be gone. Maybe then, you can figure out why Mr. Laufeyson has turned to ice.
“...is she?” The two words echo and jar you from your failing battle.
Laufeyson’s response is short and sharp. You fill in the blanks of his deflection; ‘none of your concern’.
“...busy cleaning up your messes, eh?” Thor’s taunting question rolls upwards as footsteps hammer up the stairs, stopped halfway as another pair shuffle after them.
“I did not welcome you in,” Laufeyson is clearer now. You assume they are on the staircase with how their voices waft airily.
“Always the gracious host,” Thor counters.
“Do not lecture me on grace. Say what you’ve come to say and go. I’m busy–”
“Oh, yes, if I had a little maid like that, I’d always be busy as well–”
“Get on with it,” Laufeyson snarls.
Thor laughs heartily, “brother, one day you will see we are more alike than you care to accept. Maybe then you would see that it is the crux of our problems. You might even appreciate our shared tastes–”
“If you’ve only come to ramble, I’m not interested. I’ve spent enough time entertaining you lot–”
“You speak as if we are enemies,” Thor accuses, “you cannot waste time on family.”
“Ah, because kinship has always been sacred in your heart,” Laufeyson scoffs, “you are like a storm, you bluster but only make a mess. Say what you came to say and leave me be. I’ve work to do. Real work.”
“Well, if I am to deliver my message, I think both recipients should receive it, don’t you?”
“Say it,” Laufeyson hisses.
“But it is meant for both of you. The little maid as well–”
You sit up straight and tweak your head. You shouldn’t listen but you’re caught now. You cannot keep from overhearing.
“House manager,” Laufeyson girds, “I’m certain I can efficiently communicate whatever nonsense has drawn you here.”
“And they say I am stubborn,” Thor snorts, “Walpurgisnacht.”
“Walpurgisnacht?” Laufeyson echoes the single word.
“Surely you recall the old ways.”
“Don’t,” Laufeyson warns.
“Mother is having a celebration. Like when we were young. Father’s agreed to it.”
“She didn’t mention.”
“Ah, yes, well, you’ve much going on. She sent me to inquire after the little maid– house manager. She would require help with arranging the festivities.” Thor explains, “oh, and you’re invited too, I suppose.”
“She has her staff, does she not?”
“Frida is too old. She only serves tea and Gertrude’s never been very strong-minded. Mother needs input, not an empty vessel.”
“Charming,” Laufeyson remarks, "well, I will consider it. Next time, tell mother to call.”
“There will be many old faces. Many may even be happy to see you,” Thor goads.
“I wouldn’t expect so,” Laufeyson retorts, “must I ask you to leave anon?”
Another rolling guffaw fills the house. You hear a grunt from Laufeyson and a muted thump. Thor quiets with a sigh, “ah, fine, fine, I shall leave you to your little– house manager. You will tell her I say hello.”
Silence roils through the air. A scuff cuts through the tension and footfalls clamour down the stairs. The front door opens and closes, leaving you to wallow in the dark cloud left behind. Mr. Laufeyson’s long exhale blows up the staircase ahead of him and you listen to his approach.
You look at the door, expecting him to come through any moment. But it isn’t that one he opens. It’s the study door that slams with a terrible force. His growl permeates through and the adjoined door clicks as the lock is flicked into place. You stare at it and frown.
You don’t suppose his mood will thaw any time soon.
✨
Mr. Laufeyson does not emerge for supper. You barely eat anything yourself as anxiety tortures your stomach. You clean up after yourself and retreat upstairs.
You near the study, lingering before the door as you pluck up your courage. You tap softly on the wood. There’s no answer. You didn’t hear him go but maybe you missed it.
“I made dinner, Mr. Laufeyson. I’ve left you a plate in the oven,” you speak through the wood, to the ghost on the other side.
You traipse away in defeat. You’re entirely confused. What did you do so wrong? Even before his brother’s unprompted visit, Mr. Laufeyson was coolly apathetic. Yet that morning, in the shower, he’d been on fire, consuming you like flames.
Maybe you’re not good enough. Maybe you didn’t kiss him just right or make the noises he liked. Oh, but how are you supposed to know what to do?
You sit at the writing desk and tap your fingers on your chin. You squirm in your chair as the scene in the shower replays in your head. You tear it apart, trying to pick out the exact moment of your offense.
You shift on the seat and the throbbing pressure in your core ripples through you. Just the thought of his touch has you alight. You touch your hot cheeks and flutter your lashes. You shouldn’t be worried about all that, you should be working on that spread sheet.
You glance over at the study door. The house is stagnant once more. Just like those early days when you made your slow progress with a broom and mop. Something’s gone terribly wrong. Maybe… you should just leave.
You put your fingers mindlessly to the touch pad of the computer. You swirl around the cursor mindlessly. You blow out through your lips and sit up, another fraught peek towards the door.
You bring both your hands over the keyboard. No, you shouldn’t.
You need to figure this out. You need to know what you did, or didn’t do. You can be what he wants you to be, you have to. You have nothing else.
You type, then backspace, then type again. After several times, you hit search. You click through to a site with a black background and gasp at the obscene ads that fill the margins.
You bite down as you try to focus past the small thumbnails. You key into the search bar ‘shower’. You hover your finger over the enter key before you will yourself to hit it.
The search results are just as chaotic. You don’t know what you’re looking for. ‘Best Shower Scenes STEAMY’. Your insides tickle and you squeeze your thighs together. Invisible flames lick at you and cluster in your chest.
You mute the computer as the video loads. The house is so quiet that you’re aware of every creak and crack. You fidget as you sit through the ad of a woman giggling over a URL for meet-ups. You press your hands to your thigh, sitting forward so your weight rests on your pelvis, dampening the tingly heat.
The video begins. A woman with caramel coloured hair and a curvy body. You admire her figure and peer down at your own. Maybe that’s it, maybe you’re not hot enough? You remember how Mr. Laufeyson touched you all over, almost as if he was examining you. Did you disappoint?
You flick your eyes back up as a man enters and they step into the shower booth. You chew your lip as you fixate on his large dick. He’s very big but you think Mr. Laufeyson is too. You’re not sure. This isn’t helping, you still don’t understand anything.
They kiss and fondle each other. You lean forward, watching with a stitch between your brows. The woman drags her hands down the man’s body and gets to your knees. She pumps him with her hand and licks his tip, dragging her tongue down his length. He grabs her head and forces himself into her mouth.
She takes him greedily. Oh. That could be it. Last night, you were so afraid, and you got all teary, and you didn’t know what you were doing.
You watch her as she touches his sack, squeezing then works her hand in tandem with her mouth on his dick. You put your hand to the side of your neck and hold your breath. You wiggle on the chair, the friction making your own arousal more obvious.
Finally, the woman stands, the man lifting her by her hair. He spins her and bends her forward. She braces the wall and as he slaps her ass several times before gripping her hip. He’s so rough. You don’t know if you could handle that.
He slides into her and your mouth falls open. Her thighs quake and your own give a tremble. Your walls clench as the pressure knots in you. The thought of doing that with Mr. Laufeyson both frightens you and excites you.
You twiddle your fingers and blink at the screen. The furrow in your forehead deepens as you lean forward. You put your fingers along the touchpad but don’t press them down.
“Ahem,” Mr. Laufeyson startles you as he clears his throat.
You sit up and quickly hit the X in the corner. Your throat closes as you struggle to breathe, caught but not entirely. He stands in the doorway between the study and library. From that angle, he can’t see what’s on your screen.
“You are working hard,” he muses as he strides in with crossed arms.
“Yes, sir,” you answer breathily. You stare him in the face, too afraid to look anywhere else as your mind dares to imagine the shower again, both of you naked, this time, you’re bent over and he’s behind you. “Um, did you get your dinner?”
You close the laptop as you stand. You wince as the fabric of your panties clings to your wet cunt. You feel like he can see right through you.
“I’m not hungry,” he stops on the other side of the desk.
“Okay,” you swallow and your eyes flit side to side.
“I never told you to come out,” he drops his arms, placing his hand on the desk as he leans over it.
“Pardon?” You blink furiously.
“I said to remain in here until I told you it was safe. If you made my dinner, then you did not obey me.”
“I… Mr. Laufeyson, your brother’s gone–”
“And how could you know for sure if I did not confirm it?” He challenges with a wry tilt in his head. “I’ve been patient, pet, but I think you may require a different sort of discipline.”
“Mr. Laufeyson?” You babble, “I’m sorry–”
“Your apologies grow tiresome,” he huffs and stands straight. “Come here,” he points between him and the desk.
You put your head down and swiftly walk around the desk. He swirls his finger in the air and you turn your back to him. He backs away and rounds to the side of the desk.
“Hands down,” he nods to the desktop.
You press your palms flat, bent slightly at the waist. He considers you and strokes his chin with a hum. He circles the desk and you in a single, patient lap.
“Stay as you are.”
“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson,” you utter.
“Ah, no talking,” he warns, “remember your rules, pet.”
You gulp as he turns and struts away. Is it okay again? You can’t tell. He’s still rigid and painfully formal. He hasn’t touched you, he seems to be avoiding getting close. You stare at the wood beneath your hands and shiver.
You hear him in his study. You glance over as he appears in the door frame, his hands hidden behind him. He tuts. “Head forward.”
You look ahead and focus on the wall. He nears, his shadow skewed in the lamplight. He stands behind you, a foot away and he hums. He clucks and strolls around the desk to face you.
He pulls his hands from behind his back, revealing a thick leather strap. The brown leather is faded and cracked. Your eyes round as you stare at it and he brings it taught between his hands.
“Flogging is historically a long held practice. For the monk in his self-flagellation, for the heathen in his cell, and… for the woman in her disobedience,” he explains as his lips curl. “Spare the rod, spoil the child…” He takes a breath, “and you, pet, are growing spoiled.”
Your lips part but you don’t speak. You must follow the rules. This is the test. If you fail this, then it’s over. If you fail, you have nothing.
He walks along the desk and rounds the corner, brushing by as he purrs, “remember your rules. Not a sound.”
He comes up behind you and you hold your breath. He tugs at the back of your skirt and shudders. He pulls the fabric above your ass, his hand trailing along the back of your panties. He hooks his finger in the elastic and tears them down to your thighs. You quiver and clench your jaw tight, fighting back a squeak.
He stretches the leather across your ass. It’s cool and smooth. You twitch as bumps rise across your skin. He pulls back and you lower your head. You wait. Nothing.
You cautiously raise your chin and look back. He snaps the whip across your ass as you do and you spasm with the hot flash of pain. He points to the wall in a wordless demand. Eye forward. You turn your attention back to the grey blue paint as your eyes glisten. He strikes you again, the agony scalding across the swell of your ass.
Your thighs shake as he pulls back again. You await a third but it never comes. You don’t dare move. He paces behind you. You watch his shadow cast before you and he moves abruptly forward. You bite your tongue as he lashes you again. Harder as he lets out a thick grunt.
Your hands slip and you fall forward. You plant your palms more firmly as you push yourself straight. A fourth comes and sends tendrils down to your toes. You hiss through your teeth, quaking, fighting not to collapse.
You deserve this. Whatever you’ve done, you’ve earned this.
A fifth and your knees knock together. You barely keep afoot as the sixth lands with extra bite. Seven, eight, nine… He lashes you in quick succession, as if he cannot stop himself. The tenth has you heaving, about to vomit with the pain.
He stops himself, his shadow holding up the stap. He lowers it and steps back. He sighs and turns away.
“Tomorrow you will pack for our departure,” he declares, “we leave on Friday.”
We? So you are to go with him. You don’t dare ask or say a single word. You stay as you are, shaking as you roll your eyes back against the flood.
“You will be on your best behaviour,” he warns as he nears the study door, “I trust this lesson will not be forgotten.”
He passes into the study and the door closes harshly. Your legs fold and collapse beneath you. You land in a heap, holding yourself off your ass as you whimper. You won’t ever forget.
#loki#dark loki#dark!loki#loki x reader#dark fic#fic#dark!fic#series#au#maid au#dirty work#mcu#marvel#avengers#thor
215 notes
·
View notes
Note
one bed trope with usopp?
Yeeeeessss....
Danny and I really enjoy this one-Val
One Bed (Usopp x fem!reader)
Warnings: SMUT
Words: 1,940
“A Captain, you say?” The receptionist leans forward as Usopp keeps talking bullshit.
As if this day couldn't get any worse, you have to wait for him to flirt with that lady who was so fucking rude to you when you first asked for a room. Meanwhile, your body shakes in cold as your wet clothes stick to your skin.
“So, as you heard,” says Usopp leaning on the desk between, making the muscles of his arms pop. “My last adventure left me completely exhausted and that woman,” he points at you. The lady looks at you with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, I just saved her from those evil men. So, she’s tired and she can get cranky, like we all do, right? Nothing personal, sweetheart.”
She smiles, turning to him. “Well… I always had a soft spot for heroes like you, Captain Usopp,” she says caressing his arm. “So, I guess I can help you out,” She grabs a pair of keys from behind the desk and lifts them in front of him.
“You’re really kind, sweetheart,” he smiles at her, taking the keys.
“But,” he stops him before he can go. “If you want to add more action to your adventure… we can share a room. Mine is ready for you.”
Now, the great Casanova Usopp is blushing and stuttering. You roll your eyes and approach them fast, snatching the keys.
“Thanks!” You yell at the receptionist as you walk away.
“Hey! Wait for me!” Usopp says behind you.
“You have to be joking,” you whine staring at the shitty room of the shitty hotel.
Just a basic, old, dirty, and stinky room with a bathroom, table, two chairs, a crappy kitchen and… just one bed. Before Usopp can say anything, you walk to the bathroom to shower.
***
You close your eyes as the water falls over your body, relaxing your muscles and cleaning the dirt and blood from it.
This is the moment when all the situations of earlier come to your mind. How your crew had to separate from each other, your enemies not having mercy on you, the rain never stopping and that bitch lady. Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock and the door being opened.
“Hey, uh—sorry” you hear his movements. “I’m leaving some clothes for you and I—uh… I couldn’t find women's clothes, but I thought—uh…” he rambles nervously.
“Thanks,” you answer. He leaves without saying anything else.
You dress in a big men’s shirt, pants, and socks. As Usopp takes a shower, you sit in the middle of the bed and stay still until he finishes.
“Uh… Are you okay?”
You scoff. “Do I look okay?” You snap at him.
“Yeah, Okay. I get it. I know you aren’t but don’t think being mean to me will make you feel any better, Y/N,” he pouts. “If you didn’t notice, I’m in the same situation as you so…”
He’s right, you think. Now you feel even worse, and this is just the final drop for your sanity.
“I’m sorry,” you say as your voice breaks. “You’re right. I’m such a bitch like the lady from downstairs,” you sob.
“Shit, no, no, no, it’s okay,” he quickly sits in front of you and takes your hands. “I didn’t say bitch.”
“But you thought about it!” You squeal. “I don’t blame you,” you clean your nose. “I’m so selfish and take it on you. I’m sorry, Usopp. It’s not your fault and bitching about it just makes things worse!”
“No, please don’t cry,” he moves closer to carry you to his lap and hug you tight. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, it’s all my fault,” You hide your face on his chest.
“No, it’s not yours either. It was just a shitty day, shhh,” he coos. “But it’s over now, okay? And we’re fine, we’re alive! And I’m 100% sure that the others are too.”
“You think so?”
He thinks for a bit. “Maybe an 80%—If Zoro’s alone, he probably got lost.” That makes you giggle, making him sigh in relief.
You both stay like that for a while. “Thank you, Usopp.”
“No problem, sweetheart,” he whispers.
You frown and make a face as you lean back to him.
“Ew, don’t call me that,” you chuckle.
“What? Why?” He smiles confused.
“You called the lady like that,” you cringe. “By the way, when did you learn to flirt?”
You always saw Usopp as the one who gets all nervous when he tries to date someone.
He laughs. “Well, I asked Sanji for a little help. Honestly, I didn’t think it’d work, but...” he raises a brow. “I’m good at it.”
You roll your eyes as you stand up from his lap. “If you’re so sure, then go with her,” you say as you walk to the tiny mirror on the wall and try to brush your hair with your fingers.
“What?”
You shrug. “She offered her—I mean, her room.”
“But I don’t want to be with her,” he stands up. “The reason I flirted was to get us a room,” he explains.
For some reason, that makes you smile proudly. “Okay.”
“I...” he sighs and grabs your arm to make you turn to him. “I’m not like that. I wouldn’t do that, I mean. We’re on a mission and, I wouldn’t let you alone, at least not in this awful room.”
You make a face. “She was quite beautiful, though. I wouldn’t blame you if you, you know,” You shrug. “I mean, she was a total bitch, but I can’t deny she was beautiful.”
“She’s not my type,” he chuckles. That makes you turn back to him raising a brow.
“You have a type?”
“Uh… well, I guess. I dunno, maybe I just think—ugh! Forget it. I’m gonna shut my mouth for good,” he whines embarrassed. You giggle. “You’re enjoying this, don’t you?” He smiles shyly.
“A little.”
“Why? It’s not like you don’t have a type, I bet you like guys like Sanji or Zoro,” he says like it’s a dumb thing.
You shake your head. “Actually, no.”
“What?” you shrug. “Well, how did your last boyfriend look like?”
“Why are you so curious about that?”
“I—I’m not. I just, c’mon it’s a simple question. A girl as beautiful as you must have lots of guys waiting for you.”
You blush and smile. “You think I’m beautiful?”
“Of course, you’re beautiful! Are you kidding? You’re the most amazing, lovely, beautiful, smart woman I’ve ever met!” He looks like he said that without thinking. “I—uh...”
You look at him and nod. “I believe you,” your eyes go down to his lips, but you immediately pull away, afraid of your thoughts about your friend. “So,” you change the subject. “How are we gonna do this one-bed thing?”
“Oh, I can sleep on the floor. There’s no problem,” he stretches his arms. “It’s not the first time, you know.”
You giggle but then you make a face. “But this floor is dirty and who knows what kind of insects you’ll find?”
“I’m not scared of bugs.”
“Last time you saw a ladybug on your arm and practically cried about it.”
He blushes embarrassed. “I did not! Captain Usopp is not afraid of anything!”
You giggle. “Just come already,” You make a sign for him to get into the bed as you pull the sheets down and lay down.
“A-are you sure?” He stands up.
“Sure… it’s not like we’re gonna do something else than sleep, right?” You think about it and blush.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he jumps in and laughs nervously. He lays down at your side.
You both stay face-to-face with anxious smiles.
“Good night, Usopp,” you whisper looking at his eyes.
“Tomorrow will be better,” he nods. “Good night, doll.”
***
The truth is that you can’t sleep, no matter how many times you turn around the bed. His presence makes you uneasy and for some reason you—
“Can’t sleep either?” he whispers. You turn back to face him, but this time you’re closer to him. You can feel his breath and your nose brushes his.
“Usopp, I...”
“I’m sorry,” he says before grabbing you by the neck and pulling you to his lips. You whine in surprise but kiss him back immediately.
“Don’t be,” you mumble pulling back. You smile and he does it too. Now you lean forward willingly and kiss him.
The kiss gets more intense as he grabs your waist, keeping you as close as possible. Then he moves to be on top of you.
“Is this...” he breathes. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah, please. I want you, Usopp,” you practically moan.
“Shit,” he says before kissing you. He can’t believe what’s happening. But he doesn’t want to overthink it. At least not now. He starts to kiss your jawline to your neck.
“Usopp...” you moan.
“My name sounds so perfect when you say it,” he chuckles.
You smile as you grab his shirt and try to pull it off. He sits back to help you and then you two undress each other. You forget about the fact that your early clothes, with your underwear, are still wet somewhere in the room. You flush hard, begging for the night to cover everything.
“You’re so beautiful,” he kisses you again. “I can’t believe...” Kiss. “We’re...” Kiss. “Doing this.” Kiss.
“Why?” You giggle.
“I never thought I had a chance with you,” he confesses.
“Why?” You frown. “If you’re the most amazing...” You kiss him. “Strong...” Kiss. “Brave...” Another kiss. “And kind guy I’ve ever met.” Both of you laugh. “Stop thinking, Usopp. I want you, I need you.” He groans in response.
You take his hand and guide him down on you. His fingers move slowly, testing you.
“Fuck,” you moan when he touches your clit. He takes that as a good sign, but he wants more, so he boldly moves and start kissing your inner thighs. “Usopp?”
“Don’t worry, just guide me,” he smiles eager to make you feel good. He takes your hand and puts it over his head as he dips down and kisses your core. You moan louder this time.
He kisses, licks, and tastes like you’re his favorite dessert, he obeys you in every movement of your hand and when you tell him what you want. He makes you see stars and makes you scream in pleasure.
“Usopp, please. Come up here!” You whine.
“But you—”
“It’s okay, I need more, please,” He obeys and returns to your upper body to sloppy kiss you. “Usopp...”
“I got you, baby,” he moans as he guides himself to you.
Both of you moan at the slow start thrust. He takes a moment for you to adjust, but then, his thrust becomes harder and faster.
“You feel so good, so pretty, so perfect,” he praises like a mantra.
Your hands travel all over his body, you want to feel everything of him. “You’re so deep, so good,” you mumble then continue to moan his name over and over.
“I’m not… gonna last...” he grunts.
You shake your head. “Neither will I, please, keep going.”
With a couple of more thrusts you finish, Usopp stares at you in awe as he finishes too. He falls on you, hugging your waist and you caress his hair and play with his thick locks.
“Is this a good time to say that I’m so in love with you?” He asks making you giggle.
“Just if I can confess that I’m falling for you too.”
He chuckles and kisses your skin.
#twoidiots writing#one piece#one piece usopp#god usopp#usopp x reader#one piece smut#usopp smut#one bed trope
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
40; STAGE IV
warnings: passive suicidal ideation, talks about death
“you look tired” iwaizumi sat down next to you, giving you a sly smile as he tried to conceal his worries.
it was true after all, you didn’t look particularly well. you looked pale, with prominent eye bags and exhausted eyes.
“gee, thanks” you rolled your eyes at him, turning your body away as you faked annoyance. “can’t think of anything better to hear from my boyfriend”
he chuckled, leaning forward to kiss your cheek. “sorry”
you reached out for his hand, looking down as you played with his fingers — something you have done so often already, something so familiar and comforting. taking a deep breath you looked back at him. “look hajime, there’s something i really need to tell you but i have absolutely no idea how to,” you started slowly, still trying to sort your thoughts and come up with a plan of action.
did you really have to tell him?
well, you wanted to. he deserved to know after all. he would be there for you. things wouldn’t change.
he loved you.
but would he still love you if he knew?
iwaizumi raised his eyebrows. “is it bad?”
you only nodded slowly, teeth digging into your lower lip.
“like ‘i-offed-someone’ type of bad?”
a chuckle escaped you. “why do you always go straight to murder? what if it was just some arson or something?” you asked him, trying to fake a cheerful tone.
your boyfriend didn’t miss the show you were trying to put on and countered with a soft smile on his lips. he intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand. “guess it won’t be so bad then”
you fell silent, your throat dry as you still looked for the right words.
how could you even deliver these news? ‘hey, by the way, everything is worse and i can’t do shit about it because at this point it’s inevitable and i’m probably going to be dead in the next five years max’? sure, great idea.
your fingers tightened around his hand.
“how bad is it?”
you licked your lips, looking around the room before staring down at your intertwined hands. your knuckles were already becoming white from how hard you were clenching them. around his hand. “i feel like our current location answers the question perfectly,” you said slowly, still trying to somehow avoid giving a proper answer.
“pneumonia?” he asked, eyes not leaving you.
after you didn’t react, he continued. “another flare up?” he asked again and still didn’t receive any reaction from you. believing that silence was also a way to answer the question, he took a deep breath, trying to ignore the worried thoughts racing through his mind. “okay, we can manage this, i’m sure it’ll all be fine”
“hajime—“ you tried again, yet your boyfriend couldn’t hear you, too invested in his own imagination.
“i mean, that’s what you’re here for. i’m sure everything will calm down soon—“ he rambled, his eyes by now downcast and staring at the floor. he retracted his hands, using them to underline his words, desperately trying to get some sort of affirmative reaction out of you.
“baby”
but he didn’t get it.
“—and then you can take it slow and i’ll be right there too” he tried to sound optimistic. you didn’t know if he tried to convince you or himself with the fake smile on his lips. even if you tried, you couldn’t overlook his worried expression. he wasn’t a particularly good actor. “you’ll be as good as new”
he didn’t miss it when you refused to reply to him, silence settling over the both of you as you played with your hands, not even looking at him. he swallowed down the lump in his throat, reaching out to put his hand over yours again. “right?”
you pressed your lips to a thin line.
“it’s, uh” yet before you could continue, you felt your entire body hunch over while you were coughing, a metallic taste filling your mouth. “tissue” you managed to choke out, hand waving in the direction of the box next to you.
you spat out the blood, crumpling up the tissue in your fist, putting your other hand on your now aching head. “fuck, this shit is so gross,” you wheezed, still looking down on the bedsheets.
before you knew it iwaizumi’s hand wrapped itself carefully around yours, his thumb caressing the back of it. “love?“
his jaw clenched as he looked over at you, seeing your drained figure. he thought he knew how bad things have been lately, he was aware of every cough and every ache and yet nothing could have prepared him for this.
you didn’t do anything to deserve this cruelty.
you nodded slowly, sequencing his hand. “i’m progressing. stage four,” you simply said with an apathetic voice and shrugged. “can’t do shit anymore. just cut my lungs out and throw them away, doesn’t make much of a difference to me.”
his breath hitched as he leaned back, taking in the new information. surely he knew it was bad, worse, but he wouldn’t have expected that you’d been progressing so fast already. you did so well just a couple of weeks earlier. he raised your hand up, pressing a kiss on the back of it. “i’m so sorry,” he mumbled against your warm skin.
“you win some, you lose some,” you whispered, a sarcastic smile on your lips as you gave him a thumbs-up. “it just seems like i lose at almost everything,” you spat.
you couldn’t stay happy for too long, could you? you had an amazing job, a lot of fun with your friends and a wonderful boyfriend.
so obviously your health had to stop you from enjoying your life to the fullest.
you had to take a leave of absence for an unknown time as your body was unable to deal with the stress, immediately letting you fall sick. you couldn’t spend too much time with your friends or even your boyfriend either, instead always having to be casual and lowkey once you did see them — you couldn’t risk it after all.
and it felt like it just wouldn’t get any better, no matter what you were doing.
was it even worth it?
“god i hate this so much, i don’t want to do this anymore” iwaizumi could practically feel your anger and frustration as you spoke. you clenched your jaw tightly, forming your free hand into a fist. “i can’t work, i can’t go out, i can’t do anything that i actually enjoy without ending up in this shitty hospital again”
tears slowly began to blur your vision, which you tried to blink away,. you swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump that formed in your throat and a sad chuckle escaped you. “i’m done. why even do anything to begin with,” you whispered, head falling with your eyes staring at the sterile blanket wrapped around you legs. angrily you kicked your legs, wanting nothing more than to get rid of anything touching you that reminded you of the hospital. the pillows, the blanket, anything. and above else this horrendous smell of disinfectant that seemed to burn so much more in your nose. “i wish it was over”
you sighed resigned. “what’s the point, i’m going to die anyways. better sooner than later”
your head shot up, your teary eyes meeting iwaizumi’s shocked face the second you realized what you had said. “wait, no, i’m sorry, i didn’t—“
your boyfriend only shook his head. “don’t apologize,” he said softly, opening his arms for you to fall into them. “i’m here. it’s okay” weakly you held onto him, burying your face into his hooded sweatshirt.
“i got you, you’re safe with me”
it didn’t take much more for you to burst into tears, violent sobs wrecking your body. you felt so weak, so helpless.
so useless.
“hajime—“
he hated how weak, how broken you sounded, pleading for him to hold you, help you. his heart broke with every sob that shook your body, every wheeze that tried to fill your lungs with oxygen.
“i’m here,” he whispered to you, pressing a kiss on the top of your head. “i got you” he started breathing slowly, allowing you to copy his pattern and calm your chest, which you slowly did.
“you’ll get through this,” he tried to reassure you, offer some words of comfort not just for you, but for himself too.
“i won’t,” your voice wasn’t much more than a whimper at this point, your fingers practically tearing at your boyfriend’s shoulders, desperate to find some straw to hang on to. “hajime what if i won’t?”
“you will. i know you will”
he pulled you even closer to him, his hands tightening their hold around you.
you had to get better.
you couldn’t help but immediately shake your head, not being able to believe him, no matter how convinced he sounded. “my lung function is below 30%,” you whispered, tears filling your eyes and blurring your vision. you let yourself sink into his embrace, not having the energy to sit yourself up properly. “i won’t”
“you will, you hear me? it’s okay, you’ll be okay, love”
“i’m here” he kept reminding you, softly cradling your figure. “i’m not letting you go, okay?”
“i’m scared” you whispered “hajime i’m so scared. i hate living like this but i don’t want to die like so either”
“i know. i got you”
you don’t know how much time passed with the two of you sitting like this, your boyfriend regularly whispering sweet words of affirmation and comfort to you, while he kept you in his embrace.
desperately you held on to him, quietly letting the tears drop down on his grey hoodie, leaving behind small stains.
why did things have to be so bad? why couldn’t you just live?
why were you so fucked?
you knew it was pointless to dwell on these thoughts. all you could do was cooperate and try your best, simply living your life.
but why did it have to be you?
enthusiastic knocks made you jump slightly, head shooting up. “i got the treats!” atsumu always had a weird sense for timing — and you meant this in every possible and negative way imaginable.
“you okay?” your boyfriend whispered, squeezing your hand. forcing a smile onto your face you wiped your cheeks one last time, nodding at him. “he’ll be incredibly moody if we leave him standing there for much longer,” you tried to joke.
a smile also appeared on iwaizumi’s face. “he definitely has some things with tooru in common”
you turned to the door, yelling for the blonde setter to stop knocking and finally come in and as he entered, you greeted him with the best smile you could muster.
what you didn’t see however was the frown that spread over iwaizumi‘s face. he couldn’t stop looking at you, chatting with the miya with a fake smile, as sadness overcame him.
surely you would get better. you always had. and frankly, he wasn’t ready for anything else.
he couldn’t lose you.
but it didn’t seem like he had much of a choice.
evanescent
/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”
mlist | previous | next
taglist: @not-another-ackerman @midnight-drives-with-sunarin @bloombb @jewlmin @tia827 @namyari @fuckyouwhotookmyname @yuminako @megumuro @saiewithakatana @sukunasrealgf @julia-1901
#₊❏❜ ⋮evanescent#haikyuu x reader#iwaizumi x reader#haikyuu smau#haikyuu x you#haikyuu angst#iwaizumi angst#hq smau#haikyuu imagines#hq x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu social media au#haikyuu series#iwaizumi hajime x you#iwaizumi hajime#haikyuu!!#haikyuu scenarios#hq iwaizumi#hq imagines#hq x you#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu texts#haikyuu au
210 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I’m home and chilled out, so I’m just gonna ramble about my thoughts/analysis that I keep having about perceiving Leon Kennedy as a sexual being. This might be long. I also want to reiterate that my word is not law, and everyone has their own hcs and stuff and that’s okay!
I know hard dom content is very popular across the erotica/smut medium as a whole. Rough sex has always been popular and trust me, I’m a fan too. But if I can be controversial for like two seconds, I don’t see Leon as a hard dom personally. Closest thing would be a rough daddy dom, but to me Leon always gave me someone who caters to their partner. He’s loving and affectionate, a little rugged and awkward sure, but nonetheless he cares and wants to give a good experience.
He studies his partner, learns about what makes them tick, what makes them moan, how their body responds to different stimuli. Leon is a perceptive human being, he observes things before fully handling them so he can take the best approach that gives him the best results. I think he’d approach sex the same way if he’s with someone that he cares for.
In a weird way, I also don’t think Leon is a sex god of sorts. He’d have to find the time and ability to actually experiment with different dynamics and kinks to figure out what he likes too. It’ll all be a learning process for him, but to me Leon is someone that prioritizes his partner’s pleasure above his own because that’s what gets him off. If you feel good, he feels good. He gets off on getting you off type of deal, that’s who he is.
I also think Leon’s sexual dynamics depend on where he is in his life. When he’s younger, he’s naive, grasping on to whatever makes sense so he’d be more inclined to letting someone else lead and show him things he wouldn’t know at first (hence why a lot of ppl write RE2 Leon as a sub). As he gets older, gets more experience here and there, he’d try building more of his own confidence and autonomy and realize he has the ability to take control. Consider RE4/ID/RE6, he’s smarter, more aged, more mature (it’s the trauma), so he’d be more able to take charge like others paint him out to be but I don’t think he’d be inherently “aggressive”, far from it really. He’s serious about communication and being vocal, because he has to hear whether or not he’s doing the right thing or he needs to tweak something for a better experience. He’s not selfish he’s a sweetheart, that I can stand ten toes on.
The period of time in Vendetta to me is where I would see the rough sex come out because he’ll be using it as a means of self harm. He wouldn’t want to hurt another person, but more so he doesn’t care about himself, so his actions will be considered “reckless” and he won’t realize the consequences of what he does until after it happens. He’s suicidal, depressed, an alcoholic, and exhausted with life…so whatever he does in the bedroom would reflect that. Leon would probably want someone to fuck him instead of the other way around, but what he says he wants vs what he really wants deep down would be considered two things. He says he wants the rough stuff and he’s detached when in reality he wants to be comforted and wants someone to treat him like a human being, not something to be discarded. He just wouldn’t vocalize that because he doesn’t think his wants or needs matter. You’d have to read him and dictate for yourself because he’s too ashamed of saying it out loud. (I will say Vendetta Leon is one of my favorite variations of him and he deserves all the love and safety his other versions get! He’s just an angst magnet lmao).
Now in DI and beyond, he has healthier relationship with things, probably more aware of his alcohol consumption and age, and possibly going to therapy. In a way, I think Leon at this age would be far more inclined to revert back to the way he was at 21, little childish, letting someone else lead because he finds safety in that. Many people believe submission assumes someone loses their power entirely, but the way I perceive it, it’s you being able to trust someone else to make decisions for you in your best interest.
So he would be very switchy as he gets he’s older, liking being submissive because that allows him to turn his brain off and let someone else take charge for him. He won’t have to make the choices for once, and either way so long as his partner feels good, he feels good.
As a dynamic character, this is just how I perceive Leon, and to me he’s more of a pleasure dom, and probably likes being dominated but it’ll take him a while to be comfortable in doing that after everything. Hence, why I want to write for sub Leon more, because I think he deserves to just feel safe in giving up control he never really had in his life.
#ovaryacted thoughts#leon kennedy#leon scott kennedy#yeah sub Leon supremacy#this is my brand lmao#and I’m gonna do it#watch me
124 notes
·
View notes
Text
Exhaustion
Just something a litte short and fluffy
slight angst, reader is overwhelmed
Your heart sank with every ring. He’s not gonna hear it. You shouldn’t have bothered, all grown up and you can’t handle these days on your own.
You pull the phone away from your ear, tossing it onto the empty part of the couch. You try to calm down, telling yourself to power through it and things will slow down again soon. Soft footsteps sound behind you and the knot in your throat tightens, Grayson leans over the back of the couch to kiss the top of your head. You manage all of three words, “I can’t Gray,” before sobs wrack your body.
Grayson was immediately beside you, “talk to me.”
He didn’t force you to look at him when you started rambling, “There’s all these expectations from my family and projects they want my input on. I’m finally leading a project at the company and I get…..I don’t know, bombarded by everyone just wanting to help. A-and then there’s family obligations and helping my sibling plan their wedding and spending all my free time with everyone, so no one thinks I don’t love them.” Grayson pets your hair, pulling you closer on the couch. Ignoring how wet his shirt is.
“I can’t be this talkative with them all the time, Grayson. They need to know I want to be around them, but I’m exhausted. Being this, this,” I wipe at my cheeks, gesturing in search of the word, “This….out with everyone all the time. Before I say anything I have to make sure it's not too blunt, that it makes sense in context of the conversation, my tone doesn’t sound condescending. It’s so much work just to hold a conversation. No matter how much sleep I get, I’m always tired.”
Gray rubs circles on your back, pulling you tightly against him, as if he could will the emptiness away. He sighs, “I’m proud of you darling. Your family shouldn’t push you to be a certain way. I love you. I love your straightforwardness, the unique connections you make between things when we talk. And I love quiet times with you. Right now, it sounds like you need some quiet. Can you take some deep breaths with me?”
You nod and focus on matching your breath with his. Grayson’s steady heartbeat slows your mind, his presence an anchor. Hitching breaths eventually turn into a massive yawn and you feel the rumble of Grayson chuckling.
Gray leans back to look at you, “How about you come with me and get some genuine rest.”
You’re too drained to protest when he stands, lifting you with him and carrying you to your room. Gray sets you on the bed, walking to fill the bathtub, jasmine scent floating out. He returns to grab your pajamas and lead you to the tub.
“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” you say watching him turn as you remove your clothes and step into the steaming water, “you can join me if you like.”
Grayson turns back, making almost no effort to hide his lingering gaze, “You’re supposed to relax. Besides, I’d rather not boil myself alive tonight.”
You flicked water at him while he retreats from the room.
Grayson was already in bed, stretching his arms towards you and making grabby hands when he saw you step out. You pull the blankets over you both and rest your head on his chest.
“Tell me a story,” you whisper.
“I don’t know any.”
“Please, Gray.”
“Fine.” You don’t need to see his face to know he’s rolling his eyes and smirking. “Once upon a time, there was a fairy. Now this fairy wasn’t like the ones in old tales who stole children and trapped people in impossible deals.”
“Let me guess, they’re not like other fairies,” you mime tucking your hair behind your ear
“Hey, this is my story,” he chided, “As I was saying. No this fairy wasn’t like the fairies of old tales or even like the new tales. He didn’t have a scarred face with a metal eye, or arms covered in tattooed symbols that flowed over his chest and back. Some might say he was better than all these fairies because he didn’t have bat wings or violet eyes flecked with star light.”
You lightly smack his shoulder, laughing, “Leave my book boyfriends alone.”
Grayson turns, both of you on your sides. His hand drags up your arm, coming to gently tilt your chin up and presses a kiss between your brows.He rests his chin on the top of your head, rubbing slow circles on your back, the feeling pulls your mind away from the earlier worries. Your eyelids grow heavy and almost miss when Gray says, “I promise I’ll always help you through the hard days.”
**************************
A friend convinced me to give ACOTAR a second chance....new thing to obsess over
#grayson hawthorne fluff#grayson hawthorne x reader#grayson hawthorne fic#the inheritance games fic#the inheritance games#the hawthorne legacy#grayson x reader#grayson hawthorne#libby grambs#jameson hawthorne#avery grambs#the hawthorne brothers#nash hawthorne#the final gambit#the brothers hawthorne#grayson hawthorne needs hugs#hurt/comfort#fluff
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
The 1
part 2
Warnings : just pure angst, cheating
Summery: your relationship with Stephen through the years till the day you decide to suprise him for his birthday only it was him who suprised you.
You can't imagine how many times I put on Folklore while writing this.
Drowned in a blissful silence you rested your tired head on his chest, as you played with the fabric of his Tshirt while he twirled some locks of your hair around his fingers. You hadn't spoken a word since you got at his apartment, both of you too exhausted after another long shift. You were laying on the bed, some long forgotten songs playing in the backround from Stephen's playlist.
You didn't pay much attention to them however, just on the heartbeat of his heart. You and Stephen have been going out with for almost a year now. You met him through a friend on his last year in med school, he was a couple years ahead of you and arrogant yet you hit it off immediately.
Drowsiness took over you and as time passed your eyelids felt heavier making it impossible for you to keep your eyes open. Tugging him closer to you, you buried your face in the crook of his neck, before taking a deep breath, inhaling his strong cologne.
"We should really do somethjng about this sniffing habit of yours" he chuckled. Nodding you wrapped your other hand around his waist, hugging him tightly, nuzzling further into his neck His hand found its way under your tshirt that you had stole from him, slowly rubbing small circles on your back, as you gave him a few goodnight kisses on his neck.
"Oh someone's sleepy"
"Can I please spend the night here? I don't want to go back to my cold, Stephenless home", you pouted.
"Stephenless hm?" You didn't have to look to know he was smiling widely.
"Oh yes"
"You know I've been looking for that tshirt this whole week. I thought I lost it" You always loved Stephen's clothes from his sweatshirts to some bands Tshirts he so obsessively collected. They were big and warm but most importantly they smelled like him. So of course you had managed to take a little something from his wardrobe every time you spend the night there which was quite frequent.
"Well you should have asked me over sooner. Maybe then you would have found it sooner. Its not my fault you're neglectful and irresponsible"
"Irresponsible?" He scoffed his hand going down along your rib cage.
"And disorganized. Not knowing where you leave your things. Jesus I could never-" you were cut off by your giggles, as he mercilessly started tickling you.
"Stop you vile man!" You yelled immediately pulling away from his touch getting into a sitting position, glaring at him.
Annoyed by him for cruelly taking advantage of your sensitive spots you layed beside him, keeping your distance though.
"What no cuddles? Shame I could feel my arm falling asleep by now", you looked at him agry from the corner of your eye
"You suck Stephen"
"Well you swallow"
"Not because I want to", you mumbled before a stupid wide smiles appeared in both of your faces and you brusted into laughter. Stephen turned on his side to take a better look of your red by now face.
"I still dont forgive you for this bulgary of yours but I suppose you're lucky you look cute on it"
"It wouldnt be the first time. But thanks. You're kinda cute yourself…only kinda though"you said staring at the ceiling.
"Good to hear" His eyes lingered on your beautiful face, trying to memorize every little detail of it, your awfully kissable lips, your bright eyes. It was like every star in the cosmos shone through them.
He really hated that he caught himself smiling at those silly thoughts. But you were breathtaking and the only thing he could you was stare at your beauty in awe. And it wasn't just your pretty face that he liked about. It was that beautiful mind of yours too even when late at night when you thought of the silliest things known to humankind to ramble about.
"Stephen", you whispered sweetly and he hummed. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"Sure but I'm gonna tell everyone even if they don’t ask" You met his gaze and he pushed back some hair that got in your eyes.
"Ok I don't mind I guess" you looked back at the ceiling feeling your cheeks heating up."I think I like you" you said after taking a deep breath for courage.
"Oh you like me? Good because we've been going out for a year so it could be kinda awkward if you said didn't", he joked but stopped he noticed your worried expression "I guess I kinda like you too"
Lie. No one could simply like you in Stephen's mind. You were so amazing, so perfectly imperfect it killed him. It killed him how he couldn't simply like you like he promised himself he would do with every girl he went out with.
"No you don't understand. I really really like you…yes you can be an anenormously stubborn pain in the ass, sometimes your perfect fucking self does so well that it gets so much in your head i have to wonder how you can even put a shirt on-you know because your head gets too big- "
"Please take a breath because I think you might explode", he cut you off and you bit your inside cheek. "We can talk about it tomorrow"
"No no. What I mean is that…I think I'm falling in love with you"
Stephen stared at you not speaking word.
"Go to sleep Y/N", he placed a kiss on the top of your head before pulling against his chest.
For one more time you drowned in silence but it felt safe.You had found a home in him. Found comfort and affection and despite never actually saying the words you knew he loved you back just as much as you loved him.
Soon years passed and from lovesick teenagers full of big dreams you grew up . Both of you got your degrees and things couldn't feel more right. All those big dreams you talked about in late midnight conversations suddenly could come true and they did. You were working in a hospital while simultaneously studying for your master and Stephen was slowly becoming that big, well accomplished neurosurgeon he always wanted.
With his first salary he took you out for dinner, somewhere fancy. You joked saying he would spoil you, and he said that was the goal, you made sure to thank him heartwarmingly somewhere private. After two months you left your tiny apartments and got one together. Nothing could ever compare with the agony and enthusiasm of those days of searching for the perfect apartment.
Somewhere where you would decorate together without annoying roommates, making new memories in each corner of it, creating a home. And even though both of you had just started working and your income was low it didn't matter because you were living everything together.
You were there after his first surgery and treated him with ice cream and a day in the amusement park and he was there at all those nights you were exhausted, crying over your books. Then he forced you to go out walking for clean air and when you got back you studied together.
Lightning up the candles you catch a glimpse of yourself on the elevator's mirror.
God you were smiling like such an idiot.
Noticing the already wide smile reached your ears and you quickly looked away, not believing how excited you were. You've never been this happy for birthday. But this wasn't just birthday, it was Stephen's. You've been searching the internet two months ago looking for the perfect cake, something not too sweet, nor too simple or childish yet fun and nice. You had to please Stephen fucking Strange so you knew it was a challenge.
Approaching the door of your shared apartment on your tiptoes you tried your hardest to unlock the door without making noise or dropping the cake.
"Thanks for remembering" You heard him talking on the phone in the kitchen, so you closed the door behind you.
"No. No fancy party this year. I was supposed to spend the day with Y/N but out of the blue she had to replace a friend at work. So there i am all alone’’, he chuckled probably talking to some colleague of his.
You smirked again not believing how well your plan had worked. He would complain to his friend about how he was all alone and you would pop out and surprise him.
With slow and steady steps you walked to the kitchen the voices of both Stephen and the person on the phone now audible. You halted, furrows appeared on your forehead as you tried to listen closely to their conversation in hope of recognizing the person on the other line.
"Yes she has a night shift. That's, that's actually a great idea. We could go to that Chinese you've always nagged me about"
"I really had fun last Friday, Stephen" your eyes widened in realisation. Christine.
"I actually, I just wanted to say that. Last Friday was truly really great. I enjoyed myself even when that new waiter spilled wine all over your dress" You heard Christine laugh at the other line "Who would have guessed the only thing we had to do to keep up with the fun was to take it off"
Your heart skipped a beat. What?
"Just let me call Y/N to make sure she won't come home early and then you can come over" Turning around Stephen's smile dropped as he met your gaze.
Awkwardly and confused you stood in front of the kitchen's door firmly holding a box with cake against your chest. With slightly open jaw Stephen stared at you, the question of how long you had stood there torturing his mind.
He looked so guilty you hated it. A part of you believed it was just a misunderstanding, a failed joke with sexual innuendo be used Stephen, your Stephen could never, he just couldn't. But how could you believe that when he looked at you with such guilt and disappointment in his eyes?
"Stephen? Are you alright?"
Christine's voice brought you both back to reality. Looking down at the cake youve never felt before as naive and stupid as you did now. Blowing the candles you looked at him waiting to say anything, anything that would soothe your internal panic.
"No it's nothing" He said and you placed the cake on the nearest counter, your hands shaking in the process. Stephen frowned. You had brought a cake for him? You were out all afternoon pretending to be at work just to surprise him when he would miserably spend his birthday all alone. His heart started racing.
Your mouth was dry, you wanted to gulp but then your throat was burning from all the tears you held back. He didn't say anything, he truly didn't. And that hurted you more than anything.
"I have to go" he hung up not waiting for a reply and you just stared at each other.
You really wished he had done or said something. Instead he looked at you like an idiot. You deserved an explanation, you deserved him trying to apologize, say you didn't understand that your assumptions were wrong, you deserved something. Anything.
A pathetic part of you even wished he would just lie. Say it was a joke, say that you misheard, that he would never, never do such a thing to you because he loved you. The worst part was that that desperate part of you would have believed him. if it meant the dream would last a little longer, if his love would have lasted a little longer. Suddenly rage took over you.
"I can explain" He quickly said and you shut your eyes scoffing.
"There's no need" you glared at him, a bitter tone he never heard you having before.
"No, no you- , I can explain. I can. It's not what-"you raised an eyebrow waiting for him to finish his sentence "what you think it is"
Stephen bit his lower li, the realisation of how stupid he sounded hitting him.
"Well that's original" You scoffed, "It must have taken you a while coming up with that."
"Y/N" You looked away.
God why did your name have to sound so sweet when he said it?
Why did it have to be Christine? Why? Why her? From every other girl in New York it had to be the one girl he told you not to worry about. You knew you shouldn't think of her as a threat otherwise there was no reason staying with Stephen at all but you couldn't ignore how she looked at him. How she was there for him in moments you couldn't and all that time she spent with him at the hospital. There were days he had a 16 hours surgery and you didn't see him at all that day. But she did.
Holding back your tears you turned around you rushing to your bedroom. Why tonight? Why at all actually? You really wanted Stpehen to be the one. You really wished you'd never have to go through the whole phase of dating and getting to know someone else, simply because you didn't want to. No one would compare to your Stephen and even if someone did you didnt care. He wasn't your Stephen. Your smart, funny, stubborn, arrogant Stephen.
"Y/N!", you heard him yell your name but you didn't reply.
"What are you doing!?" He gawked at you as you took all your clothes out of the closet and threw them into a bag. "Stop it! Let's talk" He grabbed a T-shirt from your hands before you could put it inside the bag.
You refused to look at him, not wanting him to notice your glossy eyes. "I don't think there is anything to talk about Stephen" your voice is weak , afraid if you talk louder it would crack.
"Seriously? Aren't you going to say at least something?" he grabbed your bag from your hands forcing you to face him.
"Like what?’’ you wrapped your hand into a fist, nails digging into the skin ‘’ What do you want me to do? Cry, yell, beg for you not to leave me when you so obviously want to? I don't want to embarrass myself anymore Stephen. Or make you unhappy by forcing you to stay with me. If you don't like me why couldn’t you just say it? I would have left Stephen I really would have for you. Instead you lie and cheat’’
For one more time Stephen just stares at you. The man who always had some witty remarks was finally silent.
‘’Please don't tell me you want to cry’’ you went to grab your bag but he pulled back not letting you take it.
‘’Don’t do this’’, he whispered ‘’Please just don’t’’
‘’Of course I will’’ you said confused not understanding how he could ask you such thing ‘’Give me my bag-just give it to me!" You tried to grab it from him but he wouldn't let you.
Sighing, you took a step back and sat on the bed,knowing he wouldn't let you go that easily. He stayed silent as if he was trying to understand himself what was happening, deciding what he should do next.
"You love me you won't leave me" He said and you covered your face with your hands " I am the only good in your life,you said it"
"Well you're no good now, are you?" You helplessly whispered "Stephen I- '' taking a deep breath you stood up "I honestly don't know what went wrong with us, I really thought things were great but obviously they weren't. I don't want to talk because simply there is nothing to be said. I'm not gonna ask you to explain what made you do this nor am I going to ask you to give it another try so we can talk about it , say we will make it work and we will be happy one day. I'm not gonna say that because I simply don't believe we will. For some reason -I don't understand we can't make it work, we just can't" You stood up and walked to him, finding enough strength to look at his eyes.
"I love you. I am not gonna deny that no matter how much it hurts. But I'm not that desperate or pathetic to stay with you and you know it" Taking a last good look at him you touched his hand before taking your bag from his grip.
You really wished he would say something. Perhaps that he loved you but never did so why would he now?
Leaving your once shared bedroom you headed to the door suddenly, your eyes welling up with all the tears you tried so hard to hold back. You stopped in front of the door and looking down at the key of your apartment the realization hit you. This was the end.
Was it too late for you to run back inside the room and forgive him? You were together for many years after all. But then again the thought of him kissing you, having sex with you while in the meantime fucking Christine pained you.
Leaving the keys on a small tray you opened the door only to find Christine ready to ring the bell.
"Oh Y/N!" startled she exclaimed, all dolled up holding a bottle of red wine. Any previous sadness has suddenly turned into pure anger and disgust. Giving her the cold shoulder you rushed out of the apartment into the elevator.
But it would've been sweet
If it could've been you.
#stephen strange x reader#dr strange x reader#benedict cumberbatch#dr stephen strange#dr strange x reader smut#dr strange x you#sinister strange#sinister strange x reader
646 notes
·
View notes
Text
hold me close
pair: lethan; leon kennedy/ethan winters
summary: based on this post : https://www.tumblr.com/crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington/722857634630434816/bug-all-posts-for-this-au-will-be-under-the-tag by @crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington
word count: 1.8k
4:28 am; Leon blinked blearily at his phone, having woken up to the sound of frantic little knocks against his bedroom door. His head swam as he reluctantly sat up, the liquor from hours before still having its effect on his aching body as he tossed his phone back onto his unmade bed with a groan. Another set of small raps sounded from his door, making him speed up the process of getting out of bed. It was so late and the sound could have only been coming from Ethan. He tried to consider what could be wrong, but nothing formulated in his sleep-addled and tipsy mind. He was just annoyed at having been woken up in the first place, bare feet padding against the cold ground as he finally opened the door, a bit harsher than he’d meant to. He squinted at the blonde, dark circles undoubtedly making him look exhausted as he reprimanded his new roommate, “Do you know what time–”
“I know! I know, I’m sorry, I really am, I just– You know I wouldn’t bother you unless it was for something really important and uhm, there’s a… there’s a bug in my room.” Ethan finished off lamely. As he’d been speaking Leon being ever the observant agent noticed the way he trembled, even in the dim lighting of the hallway. He was paler than usual, which was saying something since he was already relatively pale naturally and he was sure that if he could see him better, he’d be sweating. The way he fiddled with his hands gave away the extent of his fear and Leon felt his heart ache for him. He was all too familiar with a reaction like this, but for some reason it hurt to see it coming from Ethan… it was like looking into a mirror.
“And- and I know it’s stupid, trust me, I know. I’m sorry. I know you don’t really like me and I know we promised to just stay out of each other’s way but I really– I just, I can’t. I k- know it won’t hurt me and it’s just a bug but I– it's– I don’t–” Leon cut off the man’s rambling, unable to bear it any longer. He might not have known every little detail about Ethan’s escapades in both Dulvey and Romania, but he didn’t have to. At least not to understand the way it still deeply affected him. He could see it in the way he held Rose so tightly and in the way he often woke up from yelling in his sleep, having to console his daughter soon after. He sympathized more than anyone ever could, so beyond the exhaustion he felt and perhaps even the slightest bit of exasperation, he softened, sighing before he spoke, “Where’s the bug.”
Ethan stopped his rambling with a surprised, “Huh,” deep brown irises even darker when contrasted against bloodshot eyes, lower lip trembling as he attempted to keep the tears at bay. Leon felt as though a stake through the heart would be less painful than the sight of Ethan in such distress, a bit melodramatic, he was aware, but as his chest clenched painfully and his stomach twisted from more than just sympathy– He knew he couldn’t acknowledge it in any other way. That fondness could be dangerous, tangible in the air between them and enough to swallow Leon whole if he thought about it for too long. Ethan was someone he was meant to protect. Nothing more.
“Where’s the bug?” He repeated again, patience waning thin at his own thought processes, but never at the other’s desperation. Still, he wouldn’t recognize the difference, so Leon schooled his tone as best as he could.
“It’s.. It’s above my bed. Thank you.” Ethan breathed a sigh of relief, though his state hadn’t gotten any better. Leon’s concern remained apparent and nagging, he wanted nothing more than to wrap the other in his arms until he felt safe again, but that would certainly be crossing lines he couldn’t cross. He placed his hand on the man’s shoulder in passing, “Don’t worry. It’s nothing.” He reassured, small smile on his face as Ethan leaned into the touch subconsciously, thanking him once again. He tried not to let the touch linger longer than it had to, or to appreciate the way his eyelashes looked, even in the faint lighting of the hall, he could still see how long they were. He couldn’t help but think about how unfairly beautiful they were, even as he pulled away and began his trek to the second room of the hall, an anxious Ethan in tow to presumably show him where the bug had been.
Leon entered the room first, though when he did, he didn’t see a bug anywhere. He didn’t want to alarm Ethan by saying it might have moved somewhere else, but before he could say anything at all, he was behind him, eyes frantically searching the ceiling and the walls of his room. “N-No! It was there, on my ceiling.” He pointed to where it had been, breathing picking up as he began to panic once again despite the quiet decibel his voice remained at. Surprisingly, Rose didn’t stir, even as Ethan started rubbing at his bare arms, eyes finding Leon’s as he trembled, legs threatening to give out. “I can’t- I can’t–” The agent was quick to respond, moving the two steps he needed to to close the distance between them, sleep no longer plaguing his mind but his own panic instead.
“Hey, can I touch you? Look at me, Ethan.” He held his hands up placatingly, concerned by the way unseeing eyes met his own with a nod. “Okay.” He breathed, placing Ethan’s hand on his chest, beginning to exaggerate his own, much calmer, breathing. “Breathe with me, okay? Can’t have you passing out on me.” He didn’t respond, but he could feel and see the way he was attempting to match his breathing, even though it was an obvious struggle.
“Good, you’re doing so good.” He praised gently, heart threatening to plummet through his stomach or leap right out of his chest with the way he suddenly felt so connected to the other, the unfamiliarity of it all overwhelmed his senses, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. So long as Ethan was okay.
The blonde nodded, slowing his breathing as much as he could while the trigger was still nowhere to be seen, presumably lurking in the shadows and waiting to strike. Leon thought for a few moments as they stood there, the atmosphere around them more intimate than he could have expected himself to allow.
“You can sleep in my room tonight, okay? You and Rose, give the bug some time to get out of here. You need the sleep.” His tone left no room for arguments, Ethan had been having a rough time since it hadn’t been too long after Romania that Chris had set up this little arrangement for them. More often than not, he didn’t sleep, whether it be because of the memories that plagued his own psyche or having a baby daughter that is struggling just as much and unable to understand it like Ethan could. He deserved a break, no matter how Leon felt about him. He’d push away whatever he had to to make things right, pretend to hate him if it meant he and Rose could be safe.
Ethan seemed to consider this for a few moments, aware of their proximity now that he was coming back to himself, brows furrowed as he responded, “Where will you sleep?”
Honestly, Leon hadn’t considered that himself, but he’d be more than fine sleeping on the couch. “I’m good on the couch.”
Finally the brunette let go of Ethan’s hand as the trembling slowed to a minimum and he was no longer on the verge of passing out, though it was done hesitantly. The other looked as though he wanted to say something in response, but he didn’t, instead just giving a curt nod and an okay in response.
The pair and Rose made their way back to Leon’s room, somehow the baby hadn’t woken up through the entire ordeal, which they were both grateful for. As much as Ethan needed the rest, Leon wasn’t entirely confident in his babysitting skills, so they’d have been screwed. The agent tried his best not to hover too closely to Ethan, but his concern was still palpable, practically oozing from him in waves as he followed him across the hall, watching as he and Rose settled back down in his room. He was grateful that he looked substantially more relaxed laying in his bed, simultaneously reveling in the way he looked like he belonged there. Dangerous thoughts for him to have, but if he indulged privately just this once, no one had to know. He looked cute, hair all ruffled from sleep and cheeks tinged pink from the tears. He wished he could blame the alcohol for this line of thought, but the buzz was long gone now.
Still, he hesitated, Ethan looked like there was still something on his mind and he didn’t want to leave until he was sure that the younger man was alright. “Alright?” Leon asked, voice no longer rough from disuse, but much softer.
“Actually…” He paused, shaking his head as though to rid himself of whatever he’d been meaning to ask. “Nevermind. Yeah, I’m good. Thank you, Leon.”
He hesitated, still standing at the threshold of his room, fingers itching to be back on Ethan again. How ridiculous of him to get so attached so soon. It had only been a month.
“Are you sure? I could stay. If you need.” He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to make the offer, perhaps the overwhelming worry he still felt, wanting the man to get at least one good night’s sleep if he could help it.
There wasn’t a moment of hesitation in Ethan’s response, “Please. If you don’t mind.” He fiddled with his fingers again, something else that Leon found endearing as he stepped fully into the room, closing the door behind him. He didn’t say a word as he made his way to the other side of his bed, sitting up against the headboard so that he wouldn’t make the other uncomfortable.
“Do you want the bedside light on?” He spoke, voice barely above a whisper so as to not break whatever bubble had formed around them in the silence of the night.
“No. It’s okay. Thank you. Again.” Feeling bold, Leon found his hand from beneath the blankets, interlocking their fingers when he didn’t feel Ethan hesitate, in fact, he reciprocated the touch easily, welcoming it.
“Goodnight, Ethan.” He didn’t feel the need to say anything in response to the thanking, knowing now that he’d probably do the same for him if given the chance.
“Goodnight, Leon.” Whether that moment would be left as a secret within the blankets of Leon’s bed, succumbing to the indulgences of nightly intimacy come daybreak, they would wake in the safety of each other.
a/n: I am so beyond obsessed with this au so expect more tbh. I love lethan so very much no one can take them away from me
#lethan#roomateau#and they were roommates#leon kennedy x ethan winters#leon kennedy#ethan winters#resident evil#resident evil 8#canon divergent au
113 notes
·
View notes
Note
So as I narrow down which OC I wanna pair Z with, I’m leaning toward my more stoic characters. If only because his ability to sense emotions/moods from one of the previous asks seems very fun to work with. That said (since I want to write fanfics) I was hoping you could elaborate on scenarios?
In the case of a very stoic character (due to issues) how would Z react if:
1) They just came off rather exhausted all the time when it came to expressing things.
2) He found out the reason MC is stoic is due to essentially being conditioned not to express themselves (being too excited or anything was met with being reprimanded)?
3) He randomly out of the blue sensed MCs mood spike (which was very rare) and they were very angry even if their facial expressions/words/actions said otherwise. (Aka holding it in)
First of all if you write a fanfic I would be honored to be able to read it if you so feel like sharing it 🥰~
But to answer your questions in an unnecessarily long ramble....
1. Despite Z most likely causing this MC (I will refer to them as Y/N) a bit of emotional exhaustion because of his teasing and intensity of personality, in a situation like this Z would first do his best to understand Y/N's emotional tells as well as he can.
He would most likely become an emotional interpreter of sorts. Z would express the emotion that Y/N has trouble expressing themselves. In cases where people get pushy with Y/N (taking Y/N's difficulty expressing as permission to force their will), Z would not take too kindly to that and scare them off. On some level, Z would feel like an emotional body guard constantly trying to make sure Y/N's feelings aren't steam rolled by others, so Y/N won't have to feel exhausted constantly. He would do his best to understand Y/N so that their expression isn't nessecary.
2. Z would definitely want to kill the humans that made Y/N suffer in a way that caused life-long trauma. Would he go through with it? That would depend on a number of factors. Factors such as... If Y/N would be able to look the other way, if killing these people would rob Y/N of being able to truly heal, If Y/N would ever even find out.
Aside from that, Z would want Y/N to feel comfortable around him, safe enough for Y/N to express themselves however they wanted to. Z is a demon who is a creature of impulse, passion, spite, and greed, so he would want Y/N to be able to achieve whatever goals they have, or just live in a way that makes Y/N happy. He would never try to get Y/N to 'improve themselves' or challenge their comfort zone under the guise of personal development. Z is just happy to be with Y/N.
3. It's kind of what I mentioned before. If Y/N is not able to express anger or protest, Z will do it for them. He will do it either to vent his own anger of someone else making Y/N angry or in order to sort out the situation that is making them angry. If Y/N was feeling sad but not comfortable expressing it, Z would silently comfort them or try to make it better without overwhelming them. Z understands humans are fragile, so although he is a destructive force and may make mistakes, he does his best to treat his human with care. Z would also feel happy to be the one that knows his human the best and can best fit their needs.
(Ps. Sorry for any typos or rambling on this. It's late, and I'm tired but can't sleep. So I'm writing this instead.
I should probably wait and proof read it tomorrow before posting....but fuck it lol 😵💫)
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
AND THE DAM BREAKS (6)
- DULY NOTED: college is hard enough without feelings involved, and you’d like to keep it that way. (Jace, Aegon, Aemond, Helaena, & Baela x fem!reader college SMAU)
synopsis ; you finally let aegon into your dorm and your heart.
a/n - things are moving!!! they are going directions definitely!! lol there will be more aegon moments but this is the almost official end of the aegon/reader drama and the start of a new era. love ya <3
Taglist (bolded means I couldn't tag you for some reason): @valeskafics @mightyavngrs @mmmimilan @its-halleys-comet @babyblue-chaos @ghostheartbeat @savagemickey03 @hoe4fiction @cecespizza01 @panelhone @persephonesportal @lovelyliliya @llovelydove @nohesmile @rattheraddestrat @jordanjanellejoy @depressedperson88 @m-indkiller @julczimozart @nupppuff @writervaul-t @m1ndbrand @the-jess-life
You’ve ignored the knocks on your door for as long as physically possible. Every day, usually in the night, someone has been whining at your door, surely upsetting everyone on your floor. You’re sure it’s Aegon. No one else would be up at 4:51 AM, smelling of booze and perfume and sadness.
It’s been maybe two or three weeks since your complete disappearance from society. You claim it was for school, and part of it truly was, but in reality you just can’t face everything. You feel tears watering up in your eyes whenever you try to pick up your phone. Are you really that annoying? School is your priority but your friends will never be any less important to you, and they know that. Most of them know that. Maybe they don’t.
You take a deep breath and open the door.
“Oh my god, finally. Babe, I’ve been so worried about you-“
“Yeah. Worried.” You say, eyebrows raised. “If you’re here to complain about me having goals for myself, just tell me now so I can shut the door.”
He cringes at the venom in your voice. His words must have hit far too close to home. “I promise I won’t, now or ever again. I’m sorry.”
Fuck, he’s sorry? Even you in your annoyed and saddened state can recognize that this is a huge moment for him. He’s the king of not taking responsibility for his actions.
He peeks his head past your arm and into your dorm, and you move to let him in. His eyes are swimming with guilt and exhaustion.
“That’s kind of what I’m here to say. I fucked up. I said stupid and untrue things about you and I really hope you can forgive me, at least someday.” He rambles, his fingers tangling with each other as he sits on your chair. “I just… I feel so complicated with you. It’s stupid but it feels like the world is dead when you’re sad. I said what I said to try and get you to notice me when your head is in the books and all that, but I regret it. It was self-sabotage too, stupid fucking self-sabotage. I’m really sorry.”
A silence falls over the room as you gently sit on your bed, facing him. There’s too much for you to even say. He really doesn’t think of you badly. It was all in your head, all of it. He lied, and for the first time in a long while, his lie was worse than the truth.
“It’s okay.” You whisper, so quiet he would’ve missed it if he wasn’t staring at your lips. “What you said really hurt me, but I appreciate your apology. It means a lot.” He adds on a ‘especially from you’ in his head, knowing you think it but would never let it past your teeth.
He should be happy right now. His eyes should be lighting up and his mouth should be curving into a smile, but all he can think of is how utterly dejected you look. He takes your hands in his.
“Don’t be sad. Not about my lies, princess. There are better things to spend your mental energy on.” You laugh lightly.
“Like what?”
“Like those studies that have been taking up your time lately. Or resisting Jace’s puppy-dog eyes when he tries to get you to go to his latest game, the sporty little freak.” You laugh, your face lighting up a tiny bit, and he laughs, his face lighting up a world brighter. He presses a quick kiss to your cheek, a gesture of affection he knows you won’t mind. “You could even spend it on my truths. You know I love you, right?”
“Sure…” you drawl, teasing him a bit.
“No, I’m being serious.” He insists. He climbs onto your bed next to you, hopping from the chair to your mattress like a monkey. A fond feeling sparks in your stomach. “I’m really in love with you. Just ask Baela-“ his eyes widen a bit after saying her name, but he pushes forward, “I’ve never felt this way with a frat girl.”
“Oh, what a high compliment!” You grin. Your eyes show what you can’t say, a mix of confusion and love and a sprinkle of shame.
“I would really love it if you loved me back,” He almost sings, “but you’re tied down with school, I get it. Ugh, school. Get your diploma and get back to me, ‘kay shortcake?” Now he’s the one close to crying. He can’t believe he let it slip, but everything just felt right. The moon illuminated the curve of your lips, his hands were barely clammy (and that’s saying something), and everything was just so perfect. You stare down at your fingers, playing with them while you try to take everything in.
“I will. I would answer now, I swear I would, but I just don’t know. I don’t know what I feel or how to deal with it or who I maybe might feel possible feelings for. Once I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.” You take a deep breath before turning to look at him. “I love you, Aegon. Wether it’s platonic or romantic, the principle won’t change. I hope we can stay friends.”
“Of course we can, even though I’ll be absolutely heartbroken for the next few years.” He plops his head in your lap and you smile down at him. “That’s a joke. Maybe. Let’s get onto happier things right now. While you were moping, Helaena came up with a great idea. Just open your phone and check it out.” He stands, pulling open your drawer and rooting around for a phone that is definitely not in your desk. You snort and pull it out from the crack under your bed.
“It’s been a while with this thing. God, I swear there’s gonna be like forty new updates I have to go through.”
There’s not. As you turn it on, dozens and dozens of sweet messages pop up on your phone’s tiny screen. You scroll through them, a warmth spreading through your body, and the dam breaks.
You sob as Aegon wraps his arms around you, whispering sweet things into your ears.
“It’s okay, baby. We love you. Let it out, yeah?”
He stays, and you cry, and the dam dries up, and you know that he would stay forever if he had to. A part of you wishes he could.
#solar eclipse.#duly noted ; hotd 🗒️#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon ii targaryen#aegon x reader#aegon targaryen#aegon the second#aegon ii#hotd#house of the dragon#hotd x reader#aegon hotd#hotd fic
105 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
perlitacats
💠Andro💠
poolboy-at-the-vampire-mansion
Unthemed Brainrot
galerias-pool
Galerias Pool
tendenciastendenciosas
tendencias tendenciosas
nhakhoaupdental
Up Dental - Nha khoa chuyên sâu niềng răng