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evilkennedy · 3 months

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How to Heal

Pairing: Halstarion (Halsin/Astarion BG3)

Word count: 1.4k

Summary: Astarion hasn’t been able to feed the entire time he and the gang have been in the Underdark. Even vampire spawn have their limits.

Warnings: none! Just whumpy with some fluff

While Astarion hadn’t quite gotten used to being able to feed whenever he pleased, it was unsettling for his stomach to be aching just as it had beneath Cazador’s control. The man was sadistic in many ways, one of the many being his enjoyment in practically starving his spawn, Astarion included, only throwing them a plagued and half-dead rat every few tendays so that they wouldn’t decay prematurely. He enjoyed playing with them— manipulating their survival and toying with their very meager existences like a puppet master attached to a puppet’s strings. Despite being severed, Astarion felt that same hunger in the pit of his stomach now in the Underdark, just as they approached the shadow-cursed lands, another area in which he would not be able to feed. To say that the sensations were overwhelming and stirring up memories he’d like to pretend were easily forgotten— would be an understatement.

The group had been traveling for what felt like ages, Astarion whined and moaned about it for the first few hours, but the more they continued, the more unwell he’d begun to feel. The grumbling of his stomach had turned into a trembling in his bones, as well as an exhaustion that blanket his entire body. He felt heavy and light all at once, something he’d gotten used to feeling beneath Cazador’s thumb, but not so much now that he was expected to play his part in a team. He wouldn’t dare show an ounce of weakness lest they decide he wasn’t worth keeping around. He was merely a vampire spawn, after all, a liability and nowhere near as heroic as his tadpole infected companions. His worth was located somewhere between his slender fingers and beneath the hem of his trousers, and perhaps on a good day, in the blade of his dagger. Regardless, he kept marching forward, just as a soldier was expected to do, just as Shadowheart and Karlach set about doing feet before him. He’d fallen behind greatly, and hadn’t noticed the Druid’s worried hazel eyes trained on his body, though when the large elf decided to speak, it nearly scared the much smaller of the pair directly out of his skin.

“Astarion, are you feeling quite alright?” Halsin had managed to fall into step beside the pale elf at some point. He had half a mind to bite the man’s head off at the question, how dare he assume that Astarion was anything but? He clicked his tongue, crossing his arms indignantly before formulating an annoyed response.

“What makes you think that I am not? You nosey oaf.” He hissed, gritting his teeth as he pointedly marched onward. Though it was as if mentioning it had really made Astarion acknowledge just how horribly he had been feeling. He felt warm, uncomfortably so, and yet he was still chilled, practically shivering against the two combatant sensations taking over his frail body. Halsin gave him a look that said he didn’t believe a word of what he’d just said, and Astarion was going to let him have a piece of his mind about it, spat that he didn’t need the Druid’s pity, nor did he need his concern, but his tongue sat heavier in his mouth. He couldn’t will himself to speak as he swayed a bit, tingling making its way down his limbs for a particularly terrifying moment. He didn’t know if he was going to vomit or faint, but neither of the two sounded appetizing.

“Steady now, little star. Stop a moment, I am not trying to belittle you. I am merely concerned.” Astarion could barely feel the warmth of Halsin’s hand as it rested atop his shoulder, using very little effort to keep him from moving forward once again. The spawn couldn’t help but panic, this had undoubtedly brought the attention of the other’s by now, and he couldn’t even force a response between his lips to insist that he was fine. Instead, all he could do was heed the other’s words, stopping completely in place and glancing up into his eyes, blinking owlishly at him for a moment. He couldn’t even remember what he was fighting against as lead dropped into the pit of his stomach, and any blood that had been on his head had done the same. He swallowed against a suddenly dry mouth, ears ringing as he spoke, his face somehow going even paler as he forced the words out.

“I think I am going to faint.” With that, it were as though his consciousness was ripped directly from his body, his strings had been cut and his knees crumbled out from beneath him. He didn’t hit the ground, though. The last thing he remembered was a curse as two arms darted out to catch him and he was lowered unceremoniously to the ground beneath him.

The next time Astarion awoke, it was to the familiar scent of his tent. It took a moment for everything to come back to him, but when it did, he groaned aloud. He’d done the one thing he’d been fighting so hard not to do. Everyone would find him useless now. They would think that he was pathetic and powerless and they would have to put a stake through his heart to prove it, how easy it would be to take his immortal life. Though, he supposed they could have done so when he was unconscious. Small victories? Or perhaps they were sadists, worse than Cazador himself. He moved to sit up, head swimming as he did so, before he was forced right back down into the lying position by familiar hands. Crimson eyes met hazel one’s as he floundered, searching for any excuse to explain his display, but before he could come up with anything, Halsin was speaking.

“You mustn’t jostle yourself too much, you fainted.” He spoke gently, not in the scolding way that Astarion had been expecting.

“How long has it been since you last fed, Astarion?” While the question wasn’t accusatory, it certainly felt as though it was. Astarion’s ears tilted downward in an embarrassed frustration as he frowned.

“How long have we been in the Underdark?” He rebutted, spitting out the words as though they had been poison on his tongue… as though Halsin didn’t only have good intentions by asking. He only felt slightly guilty when the man frowned in earnest, eyebrows furrowing in concern as he put the pieces together quite easily.

“That is far too long to go without feeding. Forgive me for not seeing your predicament sooner. You did not have to let it become this dire. Should you need to feed, you need only ask.” The sincerity in his voice felt like thorny vines wrapping their way around Astarion’s throat as he blinked at Halsin as though he’d sprouted another head. He swallowed against the uneasy feeling, against the anxiety that told him he couldn’t trust this. He couldn’t offer his body in return in such a condition, so what was it that Halsin wanted? He blinked away unshed tears before squinting, quickly returning the mask that had briefly slipped.

“And what is it that you expect in return for your kindness?” Loathing dripped from his words like honey as he spoke, Halsin only sighed in return, as though he’d expected that sort of response from the spawn.

“The knowledge that my companion will not grow ill from his own neglect.” He spoke, and Astarion took pause, for once not knowing how to respond. He had no clever quip, nothing absolutely ghastly to say, he was just… empty. Was this what he’d missed out on for nearly two centuries? Stones settled once again in the pit of his stomach as his chest ached from something far less familiar than anxiety. He didn’t know that he wanted to place the feeling just yet, but he did know that he wanted to accept the Druid’s offer. Somehow he knew there were no falsehoods in what had been said. Halsin had been telling the truth. His face contorted into something much more melancholic than it had originally been, rather than bitter and angry, he turned into the victim of Cazador’s abuse in mere seconds, the curtain falling on his performance for once. He was glad that only Halsin was there to bear witness.

“Oh.” Astarion breathed lamely, digging his claws into the flesh of one of his palms as he forced himself to remain in the moment, giving Halsin the smallest of nods as he returned to himself.

“I would like that.” Unbeknownst to him, that would be the first of many times he got to indulge in the Druid’s blood, the nectar providing life for just a while longer— and the key to breaking his shackles forevermore.

#halstarion #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x halsin #baldur's gate 3 #whump #fluff #halsin

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evilkennedy · 4 months

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Brighter Than The Sun

Astarion x gn!Reader

a/n: I have no idea if this was a prompt I saw somewhere or if this was completely out of my brain, the idea was from months ago and I finally got around to writing it.

summary: With the parasite no longer in your brains, Astarion can no longer go into the sun. You try everything you can think of to help him experience the same heat but with no luck. Until you think to use yourself as a means for Astarion to feel the suns warmth once more.

word count: 1.7k

From the shadows he watches you, his red eyes almost gleaming and noticeable through the darkness. He stands behind the door, watching you, waiting for you… He needs you and yet he knows you need to stay away, if only for a little while longer. Long enough to get what he wants.

Astarion stands behind the door of the home you two share together in Baldur's Gate. With the parasite long gone and his ascension a trickle of a memory, Astarion has long since been unable to walk in the sun. It spurns him once more as if his mask had been unveiled and even the sun could see what he truly was. While on the other hand, darkness has greeted him back like an old friend and he remains cursing it.

More than anything he yearns to once more see the color in the world, to feel its warmth on his cold skin. But even after years of searching, he feels as though you two aren’t any closer to finding a cure, from ridding him of the curse forced upon him so long ago. Even so, his mind stays focused on the task and it touches him deeply that it remains in yours as well.

Which is what has brought along today’s events. When reality had first set in, Astarion couldn’t ever explain the despair he felt toward never being able to feel the sun’s warmth again. But he didn’t have to explain. He knew you understood, he knew you saw him for all he was. You have for probably much longer than he gave you credit for. Always the one to try and fix things, Astarion wasn’t surprised when you tried thinking of clever ways he’d be able to feel the sunlight again. You had tried creating the hottest of fires and yet it didn’t feel the same. Nothing ever felt the same. Astarion had given up and urged you to do the same. He should’ve known you well enough by now to know that wasn’t something you were capable of.

So this morning when you began guiding him toward the door, Astarion briefly questioned if he was being led to his demise. If you had finally gotten tired of him and decided to end it all. Of course you hadn’t. Wouldn’t. Who’d ever get tired of him, after all… He only resisted briefly until you ended up explaining your entire plan to him. To have you stand in the sun and then shut the door and hug him. So that way, he may once again feel the heat of the sun against warm flesh.

Astarion’s heart swelled, lips parted as he struggled to react and while he still couldn’t quite express his gratitude and affections out loud, he knew he could show you them through his actions and it would always mean just as much. He may have thought the plan ridiculous, silly even, but it was your attempt that moved him. The way you never gave up on him. Now here you two are, you out in the sun as he lurks in the depths of the shadows. Astarion’s lips part as he watches you bask in the sunlight's rays, your eyes closed and a soft smile on your face.

Whilst always beautiful, Astarion remains even more assured that you are most beautiful in the sun. His feelings toward you both similar in the weight you hold in his heart. His eyes trial over your form, looking on as the sunlight highlights your complexion, the sun shimmering across your skin. The way it flickers off of you, making you appear even more brighter and full of life. Astarion watches it all, his attentions never having been more focused. He couldn’t dare look away from you and miss a moment of this.

You were so close and yet so far and as Astarion looked upon your beauty, memories from before starts flooding through his mind of him out there with you. Astarion couldn’t help but step forward, reaching out to you. He didn’t think, too caught up in how much he wanted you near. Not because of the sun but simply because you were you.

As his hand falls into a faint sliver of sun, instead of the comforting warmth he has shamefully become accustomed to, the familiar burning radiates across his skin. The sound of his skin sizzling rang in the quiet air and instead of peace the sun now brings panic, causing Astarion to release a high-pitched hiss. You jump, opening your eyes and looking over at him as Astarion quickly draws his hand back. You take a step to him but he uses that same hand to motion for you to stop.

“No! Don’t come closer. Just stay out there… for a little while longer,” Astarion pleads, brows furrowing deeply. It wasn’t until this moment, this instant where he’s reminded of the pain the sun has the power to inflict upon him, that he thinks your once silly idea may actually be important.

“Astarion-“ You try, tilting your head, eyes on his crackling hand that already starts to heal itself. But it’s one shake from his head that has you quieting. The softness in his gaze that has you stopping from stepping into his darkness. You look over him before giving a tentative nod. Your body turns back toward the sun within the space of the open door, but your eyes occasionally flicker over to him.

His fingers press into the flesh as it returns to its original smooth texture, the only trace of it being the faint throbbing that was already starting to fade too. As Astarion stares at you as you stand in the one place he could not reach you, despair flowers in his chest like a plague. You two are so different. While dealing with the parasite, while able to walk into the sun, Astarion could simply ignore it, not think about it because there were so many other important things to think about. Could push their differences aside in order to use you, then eventually love you.

But all that was gone now. You could walk in the day while he was stuck in the shadows. Even while only inches away, to Asatrion, it was like he could see an invisible barrier set between you both. A force that stops him from being with you, touching you. Something he could never cross so long as he was like this— a vampire spawn.

He was not good for you, he knew. All this time, Astarion allowed himself to be greedy, convinced himself that you need him as much as he needs you. But his love was doing exactly what the dark was doing to him. Trapping you. He was sure that if your heart wasn’t so big, you’d be out in the sun more often. Like you deserved.

Then you did the most peculiar thing. In a flash, you were closing the door, objecting yourself to the dark, and you reach for him. One hand wrapping around his waist as the other grips the nape of his neck. Both use their strength to pull him into you. Before Astarion can process what’s happening, you’re hugging him.

Warmth radiates off your skin and spreads over his. You guide Astarion’s head into your neck, letting him feel all the heat the sun left on you. Now, after this time being with him, Astarion doesn’t hesitate to hug you back. His arms wrap around you firmly as he exhales a shaky breath.

“I could feel you thinking from all the way over there,” your smooth voice washes over him, making warmth spread within him as well as across his body. He burrows closer to you, soaking up everything your skin was offering. He could imagine the fierce sun and how it must have felt upon first contact. But somehow, when it was you providing it instead of the sun, it was better. So much better.

He finally had you in his arms and the fog that moments prior were tormenting him now clear away. As you imply, he was thinking too much. He was spiraling and second guessing himself and even worse, you. He knows that you would never truly do something you didn’t want. You wouldn’t be with him unless it’s what you wanted. He didn’t have the power to trap you and he would never want it. While he can’t deny your differences, he also can’t say they’re a bad thing. He likes that you’re not the same person. Although, Astarion would dare say he’d make a lovely suitor for himself if the chance arose.

“What ever are you talking about, darling?” Releasing a light-hearted chuckle along with the question. Astarion’s hand brushes along your neck as well, the skin feeling even warmer here. Everything in him tells him to hide his feelings, to brush them aside and offer a short quip. While he knows he’ll end up telling you everything later, right now he can’t help but evade the vulnerability that was controlling him.

“Oh, I must be seeing things, then,” you tease right back, understanding Astarion and playing along with it. Astarion closes his eyes, gratefulness filling his body and pouring out in his physical contact with you.

“Hmm, must get that checked out,” he shoots back, not able to stop the words from slipping out of his mouth. You both end up laughing together and the peace that spreads through the atmosphere around you two reminds him why he never ends up keeping anything from you anymore. He learned his lesson once before.

The two of you fall into a peaceful silence as you remain hugging in the darkness. Your skin quickly grows colder again, losing what your time in the sun left you with. Even so, neither of you step away from the hug.

“You know, out of all the ways you’ve attempted to give me back sunlight, I have to say, this is by far my favorite,” Astarion admits, moving to rest his forehead against yours. The warmth he feels with you blazes hotter than any sun could ever supply him. He hears as your heart picks up and your neck once again becomes warmer than the rest of your body. Astarion does not hold back his grin, informing you of his awareness, yet remains still as he enjoys what he can get.

Astarion keeps you close as he realizes that any lack of sun is worth it when he gets moments like this in return.

#🥲🥲🥲🥲#bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x reader

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