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rishiguro · 6 months

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53; “WAIT, YOU’RE GOING TO DIE?”

glances were exchanged as you were sitting on the bed, resisting the urge to bite your nails and instead fiddling your fingers.

you could tell how your friends grew more and more uneasy with every passing second, noticing how you were still looking for the right words, like you were afraid of how they might react. and yet you knew them well enough to be aware that, while feeling uneasy, they tried to keep an open mind, fearing that once they’d call out loud for the devil, he’d be there, right around the corner.

“thank you guys for coming,” you finally broke the ice, still fiddling with your fingers in your lap.

all of them nodded. “of course,” it was aran, who sat on the bed next to you, who replied, his lips curling upwards.

you didn’t know if he was trying to comfort you or himself.

you cracked a weak smile, briefly looking at each person in the room before looking back down. “guess i better get right to it, huh?” you mumbled, just about loud enough for everybody to hear you.

“please,” kita affirmed softly.

you opened your mouth to continue, but soon found out that no sounds could escape. you tried again and again, only to close your mouth over and over again.

just how were you supposed to say it?

you mentally groaned in frustration, clenching your fists and digging your nails into your palm.

your friends grew concerned, their eyebrows furrowing. aran leaned slightly forward, examining your carefully. “(y/n)? are you okay?” he asked.

maybe you should just rip it off, like a bandaid? or ease into it? you didn’t know.

and realistically speaking there was nothing you could do to soften the impending impact.

“i’m getting transferred” you started slowly, swallowing down the lump in your throat. you shyly looked up again with a weak smile on your lips. “out of this hospital”

immediately your friends leaned closer to you, their facial expression softening at you, tense frowns being replaced by warm and cheerful grins. “did you find some specialist?“

your heart ached at the hopeful sound of aran’s voice. did you really have to crush that hope? could you even be so cruel?

“that’s good! great even!” kita continued, an honest smile on his face.

meanwhile suna only shrugged, but you didn’t fail notice how his face lit up. “yeah! you’ll finally be able to leave this abomination of a room” he looked around the room before shrugging once more, focusing his attention to you again. “sounds like a great thing to me”

“this room does suck, yeah,” you agreed weakly, trying to ignore the weight on your shoulders, pressing you further down every second your friends celebrated the supposed good news.

“see?” atsumu grinned, no longer leaning on the wall and instead walking towards the foot of your bed. “i’m sure it’ll all be okay”

osamu agreed with his twin, playfully shoving him after catching up with him, leaning forward. “it can’t get much worse, can it?”

they sounded so hopeful. why couldn’t you sit here with good news?

you clenched your jaw. “guys—“ you started, yet found yourself unable to continue.

“can it?” osamu repeated, waiting for you to affirm him.

hope. what would they do if they found out that there wasn‘t much hope left for you?

you pressed your lips together, wishing you could just pinch yourself to wake up from this, wishing that all of this was just a dream.

and maybe it was.

osamu and atsumu exchanged another glance, as if they had to confirm that you were indeed quiet, instead of happily sharing some great news. nervously, the blonde twin spoke again. “why aren’t you saying anything?”

maybe it was a dream. but that dream turned out to be a nightmare.

next to you, aran shifted in his seat, looking at you nervously. “(y/n)? what’s going on?”

you knew you should speak up. say something, anything.

but you just couldn’t.

instead you looked at your hands, your knuckles became white as you flexed them more and more.

what were you supposed to do?

you didn’t know just how to respond. you didn’t have any good or even slightly hopeful news with no clue how to break them to your friends.

you wanted to. you needed to. but how?

the boys grew more concerned with every passing minute, especially once they noticed how aran, your best friend since you could even think, had shut down, just like you did. they looked at each other before deciding to sit down on every surface near you — next to you on your bed, on your bedside table, pulling up a chair to sit in front of you.

you could practically feel how their heart ached.

after a while, aran leaned back, his hands intertwined in his seat. he couldn’t even look at you anymore, his eyes instead focused on the floor. “you’re not being referred to some specialist, are you?”

you swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in your throat. “no,” you whispered, shaking your head slowly.

you couldn’t see how your friends looked at each other again while aran reached over to you, grabbing your head, like he had done ever since you were children. it was a familiar gesture, one that always gave you comfort and reassurance.

but today you felt your heart crack as soon as his hand engulfed yours.

next to you, suna turned his upper body in your direction, his hands shoved in the pocket of his sweatshirt. “then where—“ he stopped for a second, like he was afraid to continue, afraid of what you might say. “where are you going?”

you opened your mouth, only to close it again, your throat protesting the second you tried to produce a sound.

you couldn’t.

“(y/n)?”

“hospice“ your voice wasn’t louder than a whisper and if it wasn’t quiet in here then you were convinced that nobody would’ve even heard you. and as soon as your voice died down, silence settled over you again — you practically could’ve heard a pin drop.

hospice.

not daring to look up, you instead continued to stare at the floor with such an intensity that you almost feared to burn holes in it.

“wait,” osamu frowned, taking a deep breath. instinctively he reached out for his brother’s hand, a habit the two of them had ever since they were kids, and atsumu gave it a squeeze. “you’re going to die? is that what you’re telling us?”

yes you were.

“(y/n)?”

you hated the sound of kita’s voice. he sounded so unsure, so weak.

kita was never one of these things. he had always been a rock, a safety net.

and now the net had a big hole in it.

“please, say something,” it was suna who begged with a shaky voice, fidgeting in his seat as he silently prayed that he misheard. that all of this was a giant prank. a dream. anything but reality. “anything”

“i’m sorry,“ you breathed out, clutching aran’s hand forcefully as you finally, finally, allowed tears to escape your eyes, leaving behind a wet trail on your cheeks. you looked up at your best friend, practically shivering in your seat. “i’m so sorry”

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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ashoss · 23 days

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(wake me up) wake me up inside

#bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #robin #dc fanart #dc comics #batfam #batdad #batfamily #illustration #ash's doodlings #does jason listen to evanescence: discuss

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fawndollie · 24 days

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HUGE music blinkie dump.. found some mayhem ones too which i was surprised about!!

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edgion-the-great · 1 year

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My genius remains unrealised

#edgion talks #evanescence #effervescent #snails

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pepperspoppies · 1 year

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All the scene and emo kids of the 2000’s

RISE FROM THE ASHES!!!!!

#scenemo #2000s scene #scene nostalgia #scenecore #scene queen #scene aesthetic #scene inspo #emo aesthetic #emocore #2000s emo #evanescence #bring me to life #2000s kid #2000s #2000s aesthetic #2000 nostalgia

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high-school-loser · 5 months

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#alternative goth #goth aesthetic #grunge style #goth fashion #goth outfit #gothic #punk aesthetic #soft goth #gothcore #emo #evanescence #amy lee

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engravedlives · 1 month

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misc band/music blinkies

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dat-soldier · 9 months

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Every time I see an Evanescence redraw I just think of the distorted flush emoji

#evanescence #evanescence redraw #redraw #amy lee #flushed emoji #my art

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mercysstray · 10 months

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HOWWW CAN U SEE INTO MY EYES LIKE OPEN DOOORRRSS

#my art #evanescence #bring me to life #wait how do i tag this #mspaint #LOL #UNTIL U FIIIND THERE AJYBIUVI #BRING ME BAKC HOME #WAKEM UP!!#CANT WAKE U01!

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chantalswelt · 9 months

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My music taste has two moods:

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rishiguro · 7 months

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51; TRANSFERRED

shocked, iwaizumi stumbled a couple of steps back, barely managing to catch himself before losing his balance completely.

surely he must have misheard.

with furrowed eyebrows, he stared down at the floor, flexing and relaxing his free hand at his side, the other one clutching the paper bag in it tightly.

they probably didn’t mean you. there was probably another patient by the same name in this ward too and surely they talked about them.

not you.

he tried to reason with himself, shaking his head slowly as he gathered his thoughts.

surely that was just a mistake.

he swallowed before taking a deep breath.

and if it wasn’t, you‘d tell him and you would figure it out together, just like you always assured each other you would.

as he tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling, he quickly hurried forward, now feeling more desperate than ever to see your face.

iwaizumi had to remind himself that you would be alright.

taking another deep breath, he knocked on the door to your room, entering shortly after when he heard you call out.

as soon as he saw you, a smile spread on his lips. “hello, pretty,” he greeted you, pressing a kiss on your temple before backing off and raising the paper bag clutched in his hand up. “care for some fries?”

“god i love you,” you exclaimed, not being able to stop yourself as you extended your arm towards it.

iwaizumi chuckled when he passed the bag on to you. “i can get used to you greeting me like that”

“oh shut up,“ you mumbled and rolled your eyes, immediately opening the bag and taking out a couple of fries. iwaizumi opted to finally sit down beside you.

crispy, salty, unhealthy. how you had missed fast food.

for a while the two of you just sat there, silently enjoying the fried potatoes. after you were done, you threw the bag into the trash and mindlessly chatted away with your boyfriend.

what you didn’t know however, was how his thoughts were running in his mind.

you looked okay to him. exhausted and certainly not healthy, but not particularly worse. maybe he did understand the nurses wrong earlier. it couldn’t be that bad, could it?

he knew that pondering would get him nowhere, especially since it seemed like you weren’t going to address it. iwaizumi wanted to take this as confirmation that he was wrong, that you were fine, that you were going to be fine.

but he had to be sure.

“how are you feeling?” he carefully asked, turning his head slightly to observe you.

you simply shrugged a little, your expression changing a little. the smile in you face got washed away, your eyebrows furrowing a little for a split second — long enough for iwaizumi to notice. “fine”

you didn’t even have to glance at him to notice his stern expression. he clearly didn’t believe you, and honestly, you wouldn’t either. “okay, no, i’m not,” you sighed, pressing your lips to a thin line. “i mean what do you expect, i got pneumonia for the n-th time again at this point you’d think i’d at least get some variety,” you tried to joke halfheartedly.

iwaizumi hated the look on your face these past weeks. whenever you thought he didn’t look, and even in times you knew he looked, you looked so defeated. sad, almost hopeless. and he could only sit there, try to be there for you as best as possible, while you practically withered away. he leaned over to you, hands engulfing yours. “love—“

you however immediately shot down his attempt. “can we not talk? please,” you asked him in a rather timid tone, “i just… i just want to cuddle a little, if that’s alright”

“sure” you made some space for him on your bed and were immediately in your boyfriends arms, your head laying on his chest as you listened to his heartbeat.

you loved moments like these. no conversation, no forced smiles, no guilt for being stuck here, forced to stay in the palliative ward when you used to go out so much and have fun outside together.

this was simply you and him, enjoying each others company, listening to your heartbeat, his warmth making you feel safe and sound.

however, not even the calm look on your relaxed face could help to calm iwaizumi’s mind. it plagued him too much, his worry overtaking everything else.

“hey, can i ask you something?” he decided to try again, fingers absentmindedly caressing your skin. “it’s a bit heavy and honestly, i’m not sure if you want to answer”

you glanced up at him for a moment, waiting for him to continue, before you turned your gaze downwards again, beginning to trace his tattoos.

he clenched his jaw for a moment. “why didn’t you tell me that you were getting transferred?”

your fingers stopped, hovering over his skin. “what do you mean?” you tried to fake ignorance, hoping that you somehow misheard what he said.

“hospice,” iwaizumi clarified, sounding defeated himself. “look, i overheard some nurses talking, okay? i know”

opening and closing your mouth for a couple of times, you found yourself unable to say anything.

hospice.

he knew? he heard? what were you supposed to say?

hospice.

everything was moving so fast, you felt like you couldn’t keep up with it.

and now he knew too?

what were you even supposed to do? you hadn’t processed the news yourself yet, even though it has been days since you‘ve been told.

“love, talk to me,” he whispered desperately, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers. “tell me what’s going on in your head. we can figure this out together, i promise. we‘ll be okay”

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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taglist: @not-another-ackerman @midnight-drives-with-sunarin @bloombb @jewlmin @tia827 @namyari @fuckyouwhotookmyname @yuminako @megumuro @saiewithakatana @sukunasrealgf @julia-1901 @basically-an-anime-stan-acct

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doyoulikethissong-poll · 6 months

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Evanescence - Imaginary 2000

"Imaginary" has lasted for the whole span of Evanescence's recording history. The first version was released as a part of the Evanescence EP in 1998. It was remade and released again in 2000, for Origin (in my opinion, the best version of the song). Several demo recordings were made in the making of Fallen (2003), followed by an official appearance on the album featuring The Millineum Choir arranged by Amy Lee. Throughout the years, live performances of "Imaginary" have occasionally altered lyrics to fit that of previous versions of the song. Origin is a compilation of home-recorded demos from 1996-1999, the CD was self-released and sold at local shows, and then packaged to showcase to record labels. A total of 2,000 copies were made and sold on the Bigwig Enterprises website from 2000 to 2003. Immediately after the release of their debut album Fallen, the demo CD was sold for $400 on eBay. Origin was released commercially for the first time in February 2017 as a part of Evanescence's The Ultimate Collection vinyl box set. "Imaginary" recieved 72,6% total yes votes!