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roadkillremi · 6 months

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A better man

Negan X F!Reader

Era - S10/11

Summary: After being stuck in a cabin with Negan, things got hot and heavy. Is there regret or enjoyment?

Warnings : Minors DNI, Legal Age Gap (Negan is in his 50s, Reader is in their 30s) , mentions Reader's and her ex's having bad fights (mentions leaving a bruise), unprotected sex, language, p in V, the pet name Doll, mentions rubbing poison ivy on hickey, the whole smut is a flashback of "yesterday night".

A/N : My first Negan fic <3. Also a couple of side notes ; Reader calls Negan Carl's and Ricks killer, I know this isn't true. It is more of the way she viewed him during S7/8. There's no use of 'Y/N', Negan refers to the reader as "Doll". Italics are used for past quotes

There were no words once you went inside the house. Your brain scrabbled with the thought of him. Your backpack slid off your shoulders leaving a thud on the ground. It laid by the entrance next to some abandoned shoes.

"You're back!" Judith and RJ ran towards you giving you a hug. You smile kneeling down to their level.

"Sorry it took me so long..." You wrapped your arms around them. You heard a creak behind you, you turned around to find Michonne. She stood in the doorway looking down at you.

"I said To be as quick as possible." She muttered. Your chest wrenches with guilt, "We were surrounded.". Michonne nodded and stepped closer, she took a good look at you.

"What the hell is that?" She pointed at your neck. You quickly reached your hand to the spot she pointed.

"What?"

"That better not be what I think it is.." she walked away. Her kids followed behind her like little ducks. You quickly went into the bathroom moving your neck around.

There it was.

A cherry red spot on your neck, your heart rate quickened. You said no hickeys, you shut your eyes hoping you're imagining things. Flashes of last night just flood your vision.

His hands roamed your body, touching you so gently. It was a mistake, you didn't mean for things to build up. You were surrounded by dead sacks of shit. It grew colder and less safe for you two to head back. You two barricaded the windows and locked the doors. He placed his crowbar by the door and sat on the couch kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

After all these years I barely know shit about you, sweetheart.

That's what led the two of you to share stories. Stories you wouldn't dare share with anyone else. He knew about your shitty ex boyfriends, the shameful hook ups. The terrible fights you'd have with said shitty ex boyfriends that ended in bruises.

If they were still alive I'd beat the shit of them

In return, he told you all about Lucille and her death. Teary eyed he stared down at you waiting for a response. You weren't sure how to react, so you hugged him. You whispered sweet nothing's into his ear.

I bet she loved you so much.

Then you two kissed in a fit of passion. Your senses are overruled by the longing of a man's touch. Undressing each other as quickly as possible. He laid you down on the old couch, his lips exploring every curve. You patted his shoulder signalling for him to stop. He looked up at you his lips pink with saliva coating them.

Before we continue we need ground rules... Don't release your fucking seed in me. Don't leave marks. Got it?

Fuck yeah, doll.

Just like that he was on top of you, his forehead on yours. He looked into your eyes watching you whimper and moan. His smug smile didn't leave his face once, he chuckled to himself before speaking.

God, this pussy is so Fucking good! No man should teach you like shit..

You pulled him down by the nape of his neck. His lips smash into yours as his beard tickles your chin. He leaned down leaving kisses all around your neck. His teeth teasingly digging into your skin, him leaving the hickey...

He made sure you finished first, holding himself back until your release coated his cock. He pulled out of you before he could spill his seed. You reached in between the two of your bodies. Your hand pumped his shaft helping him chase his orgasm. He thrusted into your hand his head tilting back. You placed kisses on his collarbone and traveled down to his tattoo. His come falling onto your torso, he groaned.

Shit, Doll... Lemme clean you up.

He grabbed his t-shirt whipping your torso off. He tossed it back into the ground before laying on top of you. His head rested on your chest as one of his hands rubbed up and down your thigh.

You buried your face into your hands. You can't do this, Think about Rick, Glenn, Carl, Abraham. They saved you, you were their family, and you slept with their killer. You focused on your racing heart, he's a changed man. You had to get rid of the hickey before anyone else sees it.

You stormed out the house grabbing your ax on the way out. You head towards the gate, your heart echoing into your ears. Negan noticed you stomping towards the gate, he got up from the steps he was sitting at. He followed you with curiosity plan on his face.

"Where are you off to? We just got back." He grinned. You didn't look at him, "To find poison ivy.". He's taken back by your response, " 'cuse me?". You sigh moving any hair in the way to show your neck.

"You got sloppy last night. Will someone open this damn Gate?!" You fussed. A man rushed towards the gate opening it for you.

"Whoa whoa, doll. Slow down you're gonna rub poison ivy on yourself?!" He grabbed your shoulders getting Infront of you. He leaned down to your height, the greyness in his hair shining in your eyes.

"Yes.. I told you not to leave marks." You start walking out the gate pushing into his shoulder. He follows you back out the gate, "Back in my day girls used makeup." He tries to lighten up your mood. You sigh, "Negan.. I told you I can't.. no one can know.".

"What happened to you saying I was a better man?" He leaned on his leg a hint of hurt in his voice. You looked down, a bit ashamed of yourself.

"You are.." you whispered. He walked towards you, "I get it, I'm not a fan favorite out here. But Doll, talk to me.".

"You hurt my family. And me sleeping with you is... Like betraying them" you mumbled. He sighs, "I... I don't regret it. Hell, it was probably the best sex I've ever had... But.." you lose your voice. You look out into the overgrown neighborhood.

"I'll keep it a secret." He speaks up. You turned towards him with hope in your eyes.

"But, don't ignore me. I wanna see that pretty face of yours often." He gently grabs your chin lifting it up. You look into his hazel eyes feeling your heart flutter.

The same eyes that cherished the sight of your body. You leaned into his touch, "Alright. But help me find poison ivy-" you smiled.

"Yes ma'am." He grinned walking into the woods with you. His hand went to the small of your back as the ground became rougher. You smiled to yourself thinking of the night before, this time willingly.

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wen-kexing-apologist · 3 months

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Dead Friend Forever: Squicks and Triggers

Hello friends, I am here to sing my praises for Dead Friend Forever and implore as many people as possible to watch it. I know that it is in the horror/slasher genre and there are some pretty heavy things going on in it, so in case you want to jump aboard the incredible writing, story-boarding, editing train that is DFF but are worried about the content, here are as many of the possible squicks and triggers I could find. Color coded time stamps are where something plot relevant happens. If you are not able to watch that scene you are welcome to reach out to me via DM or ask for a summary of what occurs:

Episode 1

00:31- A bloody altar with offerings that include intestines

00:43-00:51- creepy masked figure wielding an ax followed by significant blood splatter

01:00-01:19- intro sequence includes creepy masked figure, gun, bloody handprints, knife

1:35-1:55- blood and intestines, mentions of ritual animal sacrifice, close up on intestines crawling with maggots. Reference to mass suicide (These are all only on screen for less than a second at a time, and interspersed among the primary visual of the main characters sitting in the back of a truck)

02:52-03:00- Vomiting

16:17-16:30- two audio cue semi-jumpscares, no visuals and nothing happens

18:40-18:41- Jumpscare

19:16- 19:28- random disembodied hand painted completely black appears from nowhere and slides across a character’s crotch

20:10-20:14- jump scare of creepy masked figure and under scoring

20:33-20:48- Blood on ground

25:12-25:23- sounds of screaming

25:50 - blood trail on the ground

26:01- masked figure appears

26:12- character run straight in to a sharp branch and is impaled

29:41-29:45- blood

30:16-30:19- blood, including blood pouring out of a mouth

30:34-30:38- blood, including blood pouring out of a mouth

36:38-36:40- jumpscare

37:37- Blood, catatonic person impaled by branch visible throughout the scene

39:28-39:29- jumpscare

39:33- 39:35- creepy masked figure

40:10-40:12- jumpscare

40:12-42:27- scene is interspersed with visual of unconscious, impaled character

Please note 42:27 is the end of the episode, next episode preview occurs after that, there is potentially triggering stuff in the preview. For space saving reasons I am not going to do the previews, just skip them.

Episode 2

General Content Warning: At many different points in the show you will see a character catatonic and impaled laying on the couch. He will (for the most part) remain this way throughout Episode 2-4. From this point forward I am only going to add squicks and triggers around that character unless some sort of change or special attention is called to the character.

Episode 2 begins at 00:40

004:47-05:09- intro sequence

05:26-5:45- knocking, lights flickering, objects falling and breaking

06:04-7:00- horror movie shit, door unlocks, smoke appears, creepy masked figure enters with heavy breathing, close up on mask with blood, cut after a swipe with an ax

10:48-10:52- flashback to the creepy shit that happened in the bathroom [6:04-7:00]

1:47-12:49- close up of bloody impalement

15:14-15:26- a raised and bumpy rash akin to boils

15:26-15:28- creepy masked figure seen in mirror

23:18-23:25- creepy sound

24:30-24:32- close up of the impalement wound with squelch sound effect

26:38: jumpscare

26:59-27:02- egregious amounts of blood pouring out of every visible orifice

27:04-27:12- visual of blood dripping down a character’s face from the eye sockets and the mouth

27:13-27:55- character being strangled to unconsciousness, appearance of creepy masked figure in background

28:00-28:04- disembodied, agonized screaming

28:32-28:35- bloody rag and knife

36:52-36:53- man drives straight through a garotte stretched across the road

37:06- 37:11- decapitated body spurting blood

38:02-38:04- close up of decapitated head

38:49-38:58- gagging sounds

39:09-39:11- decapitated head

39:53- jumpscare of creepy masked figure

43:17-43:20- decapitated head

43:33-43:40- decapitated head, decapitated body, something starts moving underneath the decapitated body’s t-shirt

Episode 3

Recap is 00:00-03:09 and contains potentially triggering content (as listed above)

03:10-03:16- decapitated body and then decapitated head depicted on screen

06:50-07:17- Show intro- same deal

10:36-10:38- dead body

12:27-12:47- close up of decapitated head, followed by pooling blood and the sound of flies, squelching and something moving underneath the shirt of the decapitated corpse

12:58-13:00- something moving underneath the shirt of the decapitated corpse with squelching

13:11-13:28- something moving underneath the shirt of the decapitated corpse with squelching, close up of decapitated head, dog sniffing at the decapitated corpse

15:25-15:27- jumpscare, creepy masked figure throws an ax

22:04- character grabs at the impaled object, squelching sound

25:18-25:21: blood

26:12-26:18- significant blood smear

26:49-27:09- bloody tapestries, bloody altar, bloody statues

27:23-27:33- bloody tapestries, bloody altar, blood splatter

28:37-28:46- bloody figurines, intestines and other organs covered in blood and maggots underscored with creepy piano music

30:22-30:28- bloody altar, bloody statuettes

30:29-31:40- attempted ax murder by creepy masked figure, it approaches from behind, its mask is covered in blood, there is a grapple but no one is maimed

32:50- 34:12- creepy masked figure on screen pushing over empty coffins to find where people are hiding

34:43-35:02- characters trapped in coffin

36:38-37:49- attempted ax murder #2, two characters being strangled, creepy masked figure on screen

38:43-39:21- seizure on screen

40:27-40:52- character threatened with gun

40:57-41:06- creepy masked figure

Episode 4

00:10-00:40 - Show Intro

00:40- - Show recap, includes potentially triggering content from Ep 3

01:47-02:26- seizure on screen

03:20-05:30- character held at gunpoint

05:32-05:40- close up of a bloody impalement injury followed by choking sounds from seizing character

06:05-07:30- close up of a wound which is then sutured (suturing begins at 06:42)

08:15-09:09- characters trapped in coffin, starting to lose oxygen (they do escape)

11:42-11:56- creepy masked figure

12:23-12:25- jumpscare

13:07-13:09- silhouetted figure lurking in background with creepy whisper sound effects

13:35-13:49- figure reappears in background with creepy whisper sound effects, character shown covered in blood

13:57-13:59- close up of blank faced character covered in blood

19:23-19:27- vomiting

20:19-20:24- vomiting

24:38-24:41-FLASHING LIGHTS

24:43-25:00- creepy masked figure, on screen seizure, lots of rapid camera cuts of someone choking interposed over the seizure

25:01-25:06- blood dripping out of an eye, eye opens red and full of blood

26:52-27:33- unconscious body sits up, turns head slowly, and then looms menacingly over someone while creepy music plays underneath

27:36-27:49- very creepy smile, impaled object is slowly and painfully starting to be pulled out of someone’s body

28:00-30:24- creepy smile, gaping wound seeping blood, close up of wooden stake dripping blood, threatening character at gunpoint, struggling for a gun.

30:29-32:27 character death, distressed sobbing, CPR

37:56-39:58- characters being threatened at gunpoint

NOTE REGARDING EPISODES 5-8: One of the main threads of episode 5-8 is pretty severe bullying, there are overtones of romantic feelings between an adult and a minor that does eventually lead to a sexual relationship, lots of mental illness related plot, etc. I am going to mark some of the more explicit scenes when it comes to this, but just want to warn in advance that I will not be able to time stamp everything because these are fundamental to the plot

Episode 5

00:10-00:40- show intro

00:40-01:10- recap, which includes some potential triggers from ep 4

45:32-46:05- severe psychological distress

46:05-46:17 suicide attempt via drug overdose (interrupted before anything happens)

Episode 6

00:00-00:40- show intro

15:05-17:26 scene contains hints at attraction between teacher and student

23:08-23:12- jump scare of creepy masked figure

23:19-24:27- creepy masked figure + jumpscare

33:00-33:23- character being beaten

35:57-37:13- police interrogation that includes flashing camera lights

38:50-39:50- character in emotional distress while parents fight about him in his presence

42:53-44:06- suicide attempt via drug overdose (interrupted with character being forced to spit pills out)

Episode 7

00:00-00:40- show intro

01:04-01:10- character being forced to spit out pills during suicide attempt (in the recap)

19:00-19:02- use of the “r” word

24:00-24:23- creepy masked figure, character being strangled

26:10-30:00- clear attraction between teacher/student, including the teacher putting his hand on the student’s knee and holding hands

30:00-31:00- flirting and kissing between teacher and student (kissing begins at 30:34)

40:08-43:33- teacher/student with sex scene (sex with minor beginning at 41:34)

44:02-44:50- teacher/student sex scene

45:00-45:23- revenge porn posted on social media, video of teacher/student sex visible

49:25- 49:54- psychological distress that includes character hitting himself in the head repeatedly

Episode 8

00:00-00:40- show intro

05:23-05:28- implication that character was hit by car

06:00-06:46- parents arguing about how bad their child is while he watches

07:44- 08:42- emotional distress

09:20-09:22- child slapped by parent

11:07- 12:04-psychological distress

13:19-13:35- person impaled

13:40-13:47- creepy masked figure

13:52-14:12- lots of blood coming out of orifices, strangulation, creepy masked figure

14:12-15:17- Severe emotional and psychological distress

24:30-25:37- creepy masked figure + knife attack

29:38-30:40- police interrogation

43:42-44:02- creepy masked figure and character being strangled

#dead friend forever #dff #dff the series

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eddiesguitarskills · 1 year

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When We Were Young

Part 3

Ex Eddie Munson X reader

Other parts 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Intro: 5 years have past since you packed up and left behind Hawkins. Well not all of it, as the people you met there are still a huge part of your life. But it's been 5 years since you had set a foot in the small town, 5 years since you left him. And now after all that time you were back.

Warning: angst, language, mentions of suicide, miscarriages, self harm, mental health. Use of y/n. Slow burn. Arguments. Mentions of break ups. Female identity reader.

Bold parts are flashbacks

Word count: 2.2k

A/n: please only read if you are in a good place, I wouldn't want this story to trigger or hurt anyone. I'm sorry this part it short but I didn't want to add loads in when it felt like a good place to end this part. Also there will be happy moments coming soon, it's just super slow burn. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in the next part, thank you for reading

Not prove read.

Despite the panic attack you had after Eddie left, you still went downstairs and pretended to be fine. Everyone was so excited to see you, you didn’t want to ruin that. You couldn't let them see how broken you felt. You had to be okay. You couldn't make them worry about you again, especially Steve. So you smiled and laughed, pretending your hands weren’t hurting from your nails digging into the palms.

After a long night, you went to your new house, you couldn’t make it to the bedroom with how emotionally exhausted you felt. So tired, that you couldn’t even make sounds as you silently sobbed on the sofa until you eventually fell asleep.

You woke up with the promise today would be a better day, last night you just slipped into your old self. You were better now. No stupid ex could ruin your progress. You needed to get some groceries for the house so at least you had something to distract your mind for a little while.

As you drove in your new red Ford (well it was a used ford from a couple of years) to the grocery store you expected everything to look different, but to your surprise, it was the same. The florist with the pink lettering on the window spelling out its name Haley’s, the paint had slightly started to peel but it was still there. The 50% off at the clothing boutique. Even the graffiti that was on the side of the market was still there, from four years ago. The town was stuck in a time warp, maybe it wouldn’t take as much time to adjust.

Grabbing a shopping cart you slowly walk down the isles not sticking to the list you wrote at home. Picking up all sorts of snacks. You had missed American cuisine. Your cart was getting full. I guess it’s true what they said about how you shouldn't come shopping on an empty stomach. The cart was old and rusty, meaning the fuller the cart got the harder to steer it was. The wheels screeched and lagged every time a new item was added. You turned the corner to enter another aisle when the left wheel furthest away from you decided to jam, ramming you into a customer's cart.

“I am so sorry” you look up at the old man wearing a cap. Maybe it wasn’t your ex you were a magnet too, maybe it was just the Munson’s. He frowned at you. Okay so maybe not everything was the same. Wayne was known for being grumpy to others but you only knew him as a sweetheart he was never anything but kind to you. You had never seen him look at you like this. There was a disappointment hidden beneath his eyes, that you, unfortunately, didn’t miss. “For what? Bumping into my cart or breaking my son’s heart?” You don’t know what you expected him to say. But maybe silence would have been better. The words stung you.

His son was the one to break your heart, not the other way around. Sure it might have hurt him when you left, but how were you supposed to feel when he didn’t give you a choice? And the only way of having part of him was taken away from you.

“Do you want me to be your little housewife and have food on the table ready for when you get back from your big successful job?". You stared in disbelief despite the thoughts building like a storm in your head. “Is that what you think?” He hated when you used that voice. The one where it sounded like you were about to break.

It made him hate himself more than he already did. Maybe this is why he was treating you this way. Seeing if you take his bait, to see if you thought he was as worthless as he felt. He didn’t want to hear that voice in his head, he didn’t want to see the disappointment on your face right now, he just needed something to numb it all. So he turned away from you in search of a blunt, a pill, powder, anything.

His turning away from you, caused the storm to break loose, this was the end and he wasn’t even kind enough to break up with you in words. “Fuck you” you whispered and left. You got in your car. Driving as far as you could from him. You could see just enough to get as far as the Family Video which wasn’t a long way from the trailer park before your tears completely cover your eyes sight. You pulled up not wanting to risk anyone’s life. breathing heavily, panic intensifying. In comprehensive words being screamed from your mouth. Cursing out to the universe, Eddie and apologising to the life in your stomach.

God how you wanted to curse his nephew out and tell Wayne the whole truth. But as Eddie said you were nothing so why did it matter anymore? You did hate how you had never said goodbye to the man who took you into his family so easily. Making sure you were always welcome. Making sure your favourite snacks were in his home despite not having the money and living paycheck to paycheck. So you just said “I’m sorry Wayne” he didn’t need to know that it was an apology to him, not his nephew.

His face didn’t change, you guess this was the Wayne Munson everyone talked about, the cold-hearted, scary guy. You had never been on the receiving end of this version of him but it was frightening. So you looked down, scared if you look up for a second more you would cry. “That kid already had a hard enough life, he didn’t need you promising him a better one and then being like the rest of them. You messed him up so bad that he’s only now just starting to smile again. So if you plan on staying don’t you dare hurt him again”. With that threat he left. You wanted to leave the store than to wallow, but you stood in fear not wanting to cross paths with a Munson again. “Are you okay ma’am?” a shop clerk addresses you. You nod “I’m fine thank you.”

Thankfully you wouldn’t cross paths with another Munson today as Wayne had gone to work and the younger Munson was still in bed hungover. Deciding not to come into work today, he might as well have gone in with how many times Sarah had called, asking how to do things, that she should know how to do. Hearing the constant rings and her voice was giving the boy a headache. Eddie didn’t realise she was only doing this to make sure he was okay, it wasn’t like him to call in sick. After plumping his pillow and changing positions back and forth, he found a comfortable spot and started to close his eyes.

The phone rang again, and he groaned. Picking it up now pissed. “Come on Sarah you called 10 minutes ago, you’re a floor manager you should be better than this. Use some instinct, I shouldn’t have to hold your hand through this”. A male’s chuckle made him realise that it wasn’t his employee on the phone. He knew that laugh anywhere and right now he would have preferred to hear from Sarah 20 more times if it meant not talking to Harrington. “You seem like such a lovely boss” Steve joked, hoping to gauge Eddie’s mood. When he didn’t laugh back or make a snide remark, when he was met with silence. He realise how pissed Eddie was, he was never the quiet type.

Steve sighed “look I know I should have given you a heads up, trust me I was going to. I just got so excited about having her back that I didn’t think-“. Eddie rolled his eyes cutting in “yeah you didn’t think”. Steve ignore the rise Eddie was trying to cause and continued. “I was going to tell you, I just didn’t expect you there, not that I didn’t want to see you. I just didn’t know Dustin invited you. I hoped the first time you met again would go better, I didn't plan for it to go like that”. If the men were in the same room, Eddie might have hit the boy, even if he didn’t mean it. With the rage he was feeling. “Better? Do you really think we could ever get along, After what she did?”.

"shut it Munson" Oh, it was definitely a good job they weren't in the same room. Steve didn’t snap anymore. He tried not to raise his voice because he hated how it made him feel like his father. But he would not have Eddie speak about you like that. Especially with what he did. He had come so far with Eddie, after the first couple of months of the incident he couldn't even look at him. But after time he forgave and tried to understand the boy. But he never forgot. How could he forget?

Steve was blinded by the headlight pouring into the shop window. After a long 12-hour shift he was super tired and didn’t need this. He left the shop storming over to the car, about to tell the jerk off. Until he came closer and realised it was your car. He walked over quicker, wondering what you were up to. Were you trying to be funny, by annoying him? He supposed this is what best friends did. He grabbed open your door, trying to scare you. To get his own back. However, as soon as the door opened, he saw you hysterically crying, clutching your stomach. He got down to his knees in front of you, rubbing your arms. “It hurts so much”.

He wanted to cry looking at you like this, you were always the strong one. The anchor in his life. No matter how scared or how much of a dick he was, you brought him back to earth. You were never like this. You squeezed your eyes in pain, holding your stomach tighter. This was worse than the pain he felt when Nancy left, worse than anything with the upside down. This was the most heartbreaking thing he had ever seen. But he had to be as strong for you as you had been for him. So he sniffed back up the tears. “What hurts y/n?”. You pull his hand from your arm to your stomach. “It hurts Steve”. He couldn't be sure, he hoped it was just stomach pain and not... God, he hoped it wasn't that. All he knew is that he needed to take you to the hospital. “Can you move?”

Eddie wasn't used to this version of Steve, even when they weren't friends Steve hadn't spoken to him like this. At that moment he realised that if there was a choice Steve would always pick you, and maybe all his friends would always pick you. Why was he the only that hated you? At that moment he felt more alone than he had in years. It made him scared, he couldn't be abandoned again. He felt like a child scared of his dad, feeling like he disappointed him. With how quickly Steve was to turn his back on him he wondered if everyone else felt the same. Was he just a place holder until you came back?

You had left, he had stuck around. Sat with his friends while they cried. Make them laugh on bad days. Trained Dustin to be a Dm. Went to hospital appointments with friends. Stayed awake talking them down from nightmares. All while suffering from his own traumas. He never complained because that's what friends do. Especially when they had gone through what they had. You left everyone, and now you could just come back, and everyone would love you. What do you know about hard?

“She got to leave, it couldn't have been that bad.” Steve growled through the phone “you don’t know shit Munson” he slammed the phone down. Eddie was all alone, well not completely, he had his thoughts. He was now wishing for Sarah to call. He felt like he was being smothered by thoughts, what did Steve mean? Eddie might have been mean that night to you, but surely it wasn't enough to qualify this sort of response. How had you had a hard life? Had something happened? Was he missing something? He shook his head. No, he hated you, he needs to keep it this way. He picked up the phone and rang Sarah, as soon as he heard her voice he spoke. “Come over after work”. He slammed the phone down. He needed to forget, Sarah could help with that even if it was only a couple of hours.

A couple of hours before the thoughts would come back and he was swarmed by curiosity, pain and loneliness.

Tag list

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#Spotify #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #stranger things angst #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson x yn #older eddie munson #ex Eddie my son #stranger things imagines #eddie x reader #stranger things

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tanmono · 1 year

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GILBERT VON OBSIDIAN MAIN ROUTE....

EPILOGUE, DRAMATIC.

translations are not 100% accurate. expect mistakes.

minors and ageless blogs dni.

trigger warning: mildly suggestive.

The daughter of Rhodolite, who is favored by Lord Gilbert, the royal family of Obsidian….

This is the perception of me that has spread throughout the castle.

The 50 strict orders are still in force and the soldiers are keeping their distance from me.

Even making friends is difficult because of the evil emperor——

Emma: Lord Gilbert.

Gilbert: What?

Emma: Please take it off.

Gilbert: I don't want to.

When I move my legs on the bed, I can hear the jingling sound of chains.

The shackles carved with roses, said to be made of metal and ore, robbed me of my freedom.

(Not only weapons and ornaments, but also restraints can be made….)

(I don't know how I got into this mess.)

━━FLASHBACK━━

Akatsuki: Long time no see, Emma.

Emma: Owner!

——A few hours ago, an old acquaintance, the owner, visited Obsidian Castle as a guest.

He placed a bag containing a large number of books that he always use when going out for business on the table,

He rushes over to me and tries to put his hand on my head.

However, I was pulled from behind and the owner was far away.

Gilbert: You're getting too close, little rabbit.

(So strict….)

Emma:….The owner is kind. He's like a father to me.

Akatsuki: I'm not a father.

Gilbert: I see, father…..I guess I'll have to say hello to you again.

He hugged me from behind as if he was trying to show off.

Lord Gilbert flashed a refreshing smile as usual.

Gilbert: I have your daughter.

Akatsuki:……..

Gilbert: Haha, such a scary face.

Akatsuki:….I didn't tell you about Emma so that you could marry her.

Gilbert: It's fine. I have a nice face, don’t you think so?

Akatsuki: What matters is on the inside.

Gilbert: I’ve been kind to Emma….right?

(That's true, but I wonder how I would feel like if….I'm being threatened.)

Although I tried to nod, the owner's expression was grim.

Gilbert: The evil royal family is taking good care of her. Rest assured.

Akatsuki: I'm just worried.

Akatsuki: In general, I don't think the power-hungry nobles of Obsidian are silent. // It's hard to believe that the aristocracy would remain silent in the face of Obsidian's greed for power.

Akatsuki: This should be happening soon. // They’re making their move soon.

Gilbert: Hehe, who do you think I am?

Gilbert: The ever-victorious marshal never loses. The game is already decided before it begins.

Akatsuki:….That's the only thing I was worried about.

(…..Am I being targeted by people who don't think well of me?)

I've never felt a hint of malice since coming to Obsidian,

It may just be that Lord Gilbert’s skills are outstanding.

(Formidable as an enemy, but reassuring as an ally.)

Akatsuki: Emma, are you having a hard time? // Emma, is everything okay?

Emma: Yes. Even if I have troubles with Lord Gilbert, every day is a lot of fun.

The owner finally softened his expression when I told him with a smile and how I really felt.

Akatsuki: Well, that's fine, but I'm still putting you on leave. // That's fine, but I still treat you like you’re on a vacation.

Akatsuki: If it gets too hard, you can always come back.

Emma: Thank you very much, owner.

Gilbert: I hate meddling. Just accept his resignation.

Akatsuki: You have no right to interfere with the contract between employer and employee.

(I'm also impressed that the owner can talk back so much to the Obsidian royalty.)

The owner quickly arranges the books on the table while Lord Gilbert's lips twitch.

Akatsuki: This time, I got a book from Tanzanite.

(Tanzanite is a land of divination and illusion, so I had the impression there were a lot of mystical books….)

The books on display are mainly academic studies on lore, methods of food procurement in desert areas, methods of growing plants.

And there were many love stories that seemed to have nothing to do with them.

Emma:….Will Lord Gilbert read this romance story as well?

(When I went through the bookshelves in Lord Gilbert's room before, I didn't get that vibe at all…..)

Gilbert: I might read it one of these days, but I asked for it for you.

Gilbert: I thought the books in my room might be a little boring.

Emma: Lord Gilbert…..

(He’s so considerate——)

Gilbert: If I keep a lot of books, you'll stay in my room forever, right?

Gilbert: I don't want to leave you for even a moment, so I think I'll buy you a lot of story books in the future.

(….Yes? I guess that was the right time to be happy.)

Lord Gilbert kisses my hair and smiles gently.

My eyes locked with the owner who was staring at us.

Emma: Um...I think it's time you let me go.

Gilbert: No.

He…kissed me on the ear this time, and my whole face became hot.

(This is so embarrassing in public!)

Even if I try to get out, Lord Gilbert easily suppresses me.

Akatsuki:……

Akatsuki:….I’ll come check on her regularly. If anything happens to my daughter, I'll kill you.

Gilbert: Yes, yes. I will take good care of your daughter, so don't worry...?

Emma: I was thinking about it for a while now, but you’ve been attached to me everywhere and anytime!

As soon as the owner leaves the castle and it's just the two of us, Lord Gilbert makes his point loud and clear.

Even now, Lord Gilbert was holding me in his arms and wouldn't let go.

Gilbert: It can't be helped because I love you, you know?

Emma: I think there is such a thing as an appropriate distance.

Gilbert: This is the distance between lovers, isn't it?

Emma:…Even so, I find it difficult in public.

Gilbert: Is there someone you don't want them to see? // Is it really that bad?

Emma: Not that it's bad, it's embarrassing…!

Gilbert: I see...you don't want anyone to see us flirting with each other?

Emma: Yes.

Gilbert: In that case——

Gilbert: Should I imprison you?

Emma: Why did you come up with the idea of imprisonment!?

Gilbert: Because when it's just the two of us, we can flirt, can't we?

Gilbert: I want to flirt with you all the time. But if you say you can't do it when there are people….

Gilbert: Either I’ll lock you up or kill everyone around you.

Emma: You have to endure it, Lord Gilbert.

Gilbert: You're quite brave, aren't you, to force the emperor to endure?

For some reason, Lord Gilbert sat me down on the bed and kneeled on the floor himself.

(I hope you locking me up is just a joke.)

(Then again, this is Lord Gilbert…he would do anything….)

As he lifted my leg, he grabbed the linen nearby and put it on me.

The moment he lightly traced it with his fingers, I felt the weight of cold metal clinging to my skin.

Gilbert: Well then.

(….I have been…shackled!)

After several hours of protest, the sun was beginning to set outside.

The chains on the shackles were tied to the pillars of the bed, and I couldn't seem to remove them by myself.

Emma: I don't want to be stuck here forever.

Emma: Even if it's Lord Gilbert, don't think you'll be forgiven! // Don't think you can get away with anything, even if it's Lord Gilbert!

It was no longer a protest, but a fight.

Lord Gilbert is lying on the bed and playing with my hair while I’m sitting.

(You don't look sorry at all.)

Gilbert: It's not an abuse of power, but an overflow of love for my lover.

Emma:….I'm not convinced.

Gilbert: Ehh— …..Do you hate being with me all the time?

Gilbert: I can't believe that's the extent of your love.

Emma: It's not that I don't like to be with you.

Emma: But, it’s just…..

Emma: What if I told you I was going to lock you up, Lord Gilbert?

Gilbert: Thrilling.

Emma: Isn’t that a problem?

Gilbert: Not at all. Because the emperor in name is practically retired.

(…..Right.)

Emma: I can't leave this room forever, can I? // You can't leave this room forever, can you?

Gilbert: I want to be with you all the time.

(This kind of persuasion isn't likely to resonate either.)

Emma:…You’re tough to beat….

Gilbert: Hehe….you might be unexpectedly fond of imprisonment, right?

Lord Gilbert pulls my hand and leans over.

Emma: H—…..

He immediately embraced me and covered my mouth to stop me from protesting.

(…….)

The way his tongue that thrusted inside my mouth was literally like he was trampling me over.

During that moment, my clothes were forcibly disturbed, and cold hands began to violate my skin.

Gilbert: You'll be in the middle of nowhere for eternity, and your body will be poisoned.

Gilbert: Will this become a habit?

Emma:….It won’t….

Gilbert: Even though you look so lewd.

(It's not fair of you to try to force me down like this…..)

In direct contradiction to the fighting spirit in my heart, my body begins to tingle with desire.

Gilbert: I know all your weak points......

see?

Emma: Ah...nn…there——

The way his fingers penetrated my body was bent and stroked on a certain area.

My mind immediately went blank, and my body trembled little by little.

My breathing is severely ragged, and I tried to adjust it.

But soon his tongue flicked my ear, and this time, he carefully assaulted my ear — making it swollen wet.

Emma: No....Aaah——

(I......feel like my mind is going crazy.....)

Even if I tried to escape from the addiction of pleasure, the shackles on my legs will get in the way.

As I shuddered and trembled, Lord Gilbert kept smiling.

Gilbert: You’re so cute.

(….This guy….)

Stripped of the energy to resist, I just curse inside.

If I open my mouth now, all that will come out will be an unbearable moan.

(I wonder….if he's serious.)

(About Lord Gilbert really wants to lock me up in here, forever——)

He is the kind of person who thinks that he must "dominate" in order to feel secure and likable.

I don't mind the argument itself, but it is genuinely annoying.

Gilbert: The more I….love you, the worse it gets.

Lord Gilbert took off his jacket and dropped a sigh of melancholy/sorrow.

Gilbert: I have to keep you tied down, otherwise I'll always be anxious.

Emma:…….

Gilbert: It's easy to force people to comply with fear. But, with my lover, I don’t know how.

Gilbert: Maybe it's because I love you that I'm afraid to trust you.

(….That's why you always cling to me as if to keep those around us in check.)

I've heard that the trampling beast manipulates people's minds.

But the one who loves me is a man, not a beast.

(I guess I didn't express my affection enough that it went as far as imprisonment….)

Gilbert: ——How could you be so serious?

Emma: Eh…..

The gloomy look on Gilbert's face was gone….Lord Gilbert shook his shoulder in amusement.

Gilbert: Ahaha, the imprisonment is supposed to be a joke, you know?

Emma: !?

Gilbert: I promised Akatsuki that I would not do anything that would kill your heart.

(I was aware of that.) // (He was aware of that.)

Gilbert: Do you desire me to lock you up? But you see…..

Gilbert: Since you love me so much, there's no need to break it/resist.

Gilbert: I'm actually doing my best around here. // The balance around here is actually right.

Gilbert: Right now I'm just exploring your tolerance level.

Emma: So it was all in the palm of Lord Gilbert's hand.

Gilbert: Yes.

Emma: If that's the case——

Emma: It’s payback time!

Gilbert: !

I sat up on top of Lord Gilbert and bit his shoulder through his shirt.

This is Lord Gilbert's usual expression of affection.

(But I don't know how much more or less he can take…..)

When I looked into his face to see his reaction, he averted his gaze.

Emma: W…Was it painful?

Gilbert: No, No. It’s just…..

Gilbert: I feel like waking up to a new frontier.

(….Oh, that might not work.)

I pretended it didn't happen and tried to climb down, but he grabbed me by the waist and penetrated me with his heat.

Gilbert: Alright, can you bite me a lot? Shall we bite each other after imprisonment?

Emma: That’s not…..aah!

My body was shaken, and I couldn't take it anymore and collapsed onto his chest.

Gilbert: Haha, this is fun!

(Really, though, he's a troublesome man….)

Whether he hugs me in front of others, or when it’s just the two of us together.

Lord Gilbert reacts as if he is truly enjoying himself.

Seeing him like that, I couldn't get angry, so I forgave him.

(But, I think it’s true that he’s "scary"…..)

Even though I'm about to be swallowed by pleasure, I kissed Lord Gilbert.

(I hope Lord Gilbert, who distrusts love, will one day feel secure in loving me——)

Again and again, our lips met….as if we were offering the love inside our hearts.

Dear little rabbit.

I thought it was a good idea to lock up the little rabbit, but I guess not.

I need to figure out another way to love you….

If you have any good ideas, please write it to me?

I'll take your opinion into consideration and try to find a compromise.

Come to think of it, since I came to Obsidian, I've never run out of letters to talk about.

Before, I couldn't write anything without your question, but now it seems that's not the case.

I have so much to tell you, so much to share.

That’s strange…..

I haven't wanted to write a letter to someone like this since I was a child.

I used to love writing letters.

Since I am frail and have spent most of my life in bed, letters are the only thing that connect me to the outside world.

I've had a few friends that I've never met face to face, only through correspondence......

My brother, mother, and friends all taught me so much and it was something I looked forward to every day.

After I became a beast, I stopped doing that at all, but…..

Hey, Emma. If you have time to write me a letter again, please do.

I'll keep writing to you too.

Oh, by the way, you have no right to refuse this.

Write a letter or be forced to write one. You have a choice between the two, okay....? — Gilbert von Obsidian.

▸ [ previous ]

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikemen ouji #ikemen prince spoilers #ikepri jp #ikemen gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikepri gilbert #ikepri translations #ikemen series #cybird

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thelextheluthor · 1 year

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I have a sort of love/hate relationship with Titans (the series on HBO Max) because:

On one hand I could literally not imagine anyone better to play any of these characters like Brenton Thwaites is peak Dick energy and Curran Walters makes baby asshole Jason look easy and Iain Glen is perfect Bruce material and Joshua Orpin gives off Superman vibes and also manages to make Conner feel young and inexperienced etc. There's also a good dynamic between most of the characters and they help each other out and they showing that they're people. They're people with problems and secrets and struggles, sure, but they're people. And they care. About each other. About the world. And the series shows that.

But. It also frustrates me to no end. Incoming huge rant, btw.

(warning- lots of spoilers for the show, mostly season 3 cuz that's where I have most of my beef with, and also i haven't watched s4)

Usually because of little -mostly Batman related- things that aren't really noticable to people not really into DC but are there nonetheless like: Dick is not his fucking legal name. It's Richard. No it's not going to say Dick on legal documents. I'm talking mostly about the episode where he got fucking arrested and they pulled up his file (and showed his passport to I think). Also his middle name is fucking John, people, not that hard to look up. (I'm pretty sure they do the same thing with Jason and make his middle name something completely random, but I'm sure in most if not all canons it's Peter). Just. Richard John Grayson. It's not that hard 🙄🤚 Nobody who is either not close to him or has no sense of boundaries will call him Dick. His (adoptive) father is Bruce MF Wayne. Richard, Mr. Grayson, Mr. Grayson-Wayne, whatever that canon is making his last name, that is what they will call him out of RESPECT, if not to him, to the one name everyone in Gotham knows.

Bruce's age is another thing. I have absolutely nothing against Iain Glen, pretty amazing Bruce, but your telling me Bruce is how old? Iain is 61. Like. I'm pretty sure he adopts Dick in his 20's. It's not him being an experienced adult. He's still young. So he WILL screw up. As a person and as a parent. Same thing for the young Dick flashbacks, like, an eight year old from a circus definitely would not know how to drive a car. I do love how he started off on the path of vengeance, because as a "darker" show, Titans is meant to highlight those parts of him hidden by traffic light colors and puns, but one of his things is that he's pretty much the age Bruce was when his parents died. The kid in the show was no younger than 13 in his earliest flashbacks (again, same with Jason and Tim. These kids showed up looking like high school graduates, which, sure, is young to be starting a life of crime-fighting, but you gotta remember that Jason died at 15 in the comics, and Tim never even graduated).

Another thing is, I really do want the show to introduce Damian, but I doubt that this version of Bruce would be able to raise a kid ever again, probably doesn't trust himself enough to, plus he's like in his 50's so either he had Dami really late or he -like the rest of the bat-fam so far- is really aged up when he starts his whole Robin thing, which also kinda worries me because Tim barely got introduced in the 3rd season and I think he will be Robin in the 4th, so I heavily doubt we'll get murder baby 10 year old-ish Damian. And while being young isn't all Damian is, it's a little crucial to his story because you see an adult who was trained to be a killer and you see them as dangerous, sure, but an adult. Actually seeing, witnessing a child being a murder weapon, knowing that that is all their childhood was, that is pretty twisted.

Also I feel like Dick's whole "prison arc" schtick just wasn't him because dude's whole thing was "adopting strays" and he just up and left a whole ass kid in charge of a tower and a comatose patient & got himself thrown into prison on purpose. Nuh uh. If there's one thing that separated Dick and Bruce personality-wise, I think it's that Dick is the one who helps and loves people from the bottom of his heart. Bruce does love people, but he doesn't know communication or where to draw the line between work and personal life. Dick also has that same problem and we see it, he knows it and resents it because he knows that's a *Bruce* trait, but he on the other hand has a support system, people who care and help. Because that's what the Titans is. And Dick wouldn't up and abandon that for anything.

Again with Bruce, I know fighting crime isn't the best way to raise a child, and that giving a traumatized child deadly weapons to fight their inner demons will leave scars, but I wholeheartedly believe that Bruce was trying to be a good parent. In the show, he's really no more than a mentor. The most emotion I've seen is AFTER Dick becomes Nightwing(in one of Dick's flashbacks, he communicated through fucking letters. Dick was practically alone). Same goes for Jason. This was supposed to be another kid Bruce saw himself in, someone lost and alone. And when we saw his computer files on possible future Robins?

Keeping the roll with Bruce, he does things I feel like neither Bruce or Batman would do. Hell, when Jason died, first thing he did was kill the Joker. That is Jason's whole schtick after getting revived‼️His whole problem with Bruce is that he let the Joker live, even after everything, even after his own son died! Nothing changed to Jason! His death didn't mean anything!

#lex quacks #dc #titans #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #minor damian mention #this was sitting in my drafts #collecting MAD DUST

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strange-daughter · 2 years

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Review: Last Night at the Telegraph Club

by Malinda Lo

Finished this book a few days ago and wanted to share my thoughts.

Spoiler Warning! Review under the cut.

My initial impression whilst reading: This book is interesting, but very long winded - I could do with less minutiae of each and every setting Lily finds herself in. The time jumps are confusing -even with the timelines provided for context- this doesn’t feel like a book that necessitates non-linear storytelling. The plot moves forward at a glacial pace.

^obvious simplifications

My impressions now: I take back everything I thought!!!

Writing: It’s often said that there a purpose to everything in a literary work, and that definitely applies to this book. All my complaints? Throw them out the window. That slow progression, the time skips/flashbacks, the slow pace of the book all have their purpose.

Turns out that I’m just an impatient little bitch who is used to liking books based on pure first-readthrough impressions. I like prose that grips me and sweeps me away, I like being immersed and caught up in all the thrills and romance of a plot or setting. There’s no surprise that “Last Night” gave me some trouble while reading. Malinda Lo indulges in the details, she describes settings, characters, and actions thoroughly and she does so with care for an audience that probably isn’t as familiar with Chinese culture as I am. So yes, scene descriptions take some time to get through and you’ll have to weather some outfit descriptions but they all come together to tell a story. Lo paints a rich environment that is as much part of the story (forms as much of the story) as the characters are.

Characters: Let me tell you that I’ve never felt closer to a character than Lily. I’m not Asian American, I didn’t grow up in the US; nevertheless, Lily and Shirley’s feelings about living and growing up in combined but separate cultures still hit close to home.

I related to Lily’s discomfort with certain aspects of liberal Western culture, Shirley’s desire to fit in with American society (the scene at the ice rink? impeccable), I felt the dread and indignation of being othered when characters asked if Lily spoke English. I have felt the simple joy of sharing familiar foods with a friend, like Lily sharing ginger ice cream with Kath or snacks with her brothers, I cried when Judy gave Lily warm buns at the end of the story (aside here: the subtle celebration of our food culture and its importance to us!). I recognized the constant negotiation that takes place when one is born into two cultures, the push and pull of East and West, the pressures and pitfalls of being a ‘model minority’.

(Another small aside: I loved loved loved the use of actual Chinese characters in the text and the use of Chinglish in dialogue! I don’t even speak Canto as Lily and Shirley do in the story but even seeing Chinese characters in a text made me feel so proud. They felt like a declaration: we don’t have to be softened into Pinyin, look at us and become familiar with us, there is nothing foreign or fearful about us.)

Queerness: The story “Last Night” tells is twofold. One is about the Chinese American experience in the 40s and 50s, made most evident through the flashbacks and political tensions running in the background of the story’s present. Our second story is about Lily and Kath and the Telegraph Club.

Dare I repeat myself when I say I’ve never felt closer to a character? Despite the fact that I was born in the early 2000s, Lily’s path to adulthood and discovery of her queerness, her feelings and anxieties closely mirrored my own and, I imagine, many others’.

Growing up Chinese, especially as a woman/daughter, the familial and societal expectations of being a ‘good daughter’ are immense -even breaking the smallest rule can feel like a greater betrayal than it is. Both Lily and Shirley struggle with this idea, though, to Lily, Shirley seems to be much more comfortable straddling this ambiguous line (perks of being the extrovert friend, I guess). Lily has an added burden: the anxiety accompanying self-discovery that seems stupid and unnecessary but reads true to any queer person. The dichotomy of being a ‘good Chinese daughter’ and queer? Just quadruple the panic.

Pride: The subtle thread throughout this novel, which becomes most evident towards the climax of the story, is the feeling of pride and resistance. It is partially engendered through the setting of the Telegraph Club, where queer women felt safe enough to flaunt and express their sexualities and genders. Tommy, Lana, more characters I can’t name but am so grateful for. Lily and Kath’s budding relationship that grows even with the distance between them. All of these women, though unable to show their full selves to society, so fully embraced their truth. I was astounded when Lily stuck to her convictions when she came out to her mother. Lily, who I’d related to for her timidness and insecurity and frustration, who I’d almost fully expected to cave to her mother’s pressure. It was an exhilarating reading moment for me, even when the consequences of Lily’s coming out unfolded, I felt so happy knowing that Lily was brave enough to refuse to lie about herself. In that moment, Lily became a character that I admired, I don’t know if I would have had the courage had I been in the same circumstances.

Malinda Lo writes in her afterword that she wrote this book to bring about more visibility and recognition to Lesbian and Asian American history. It is researched with care and feels like an affirmation to queer women today: here is a piece of your history. So maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised that I, as a biracial person who’s grown up queer and between cultures in the 21st century, have never felt as wholly seen and understood as whilst reading this book.

(final aside: I’m sure there are more themes and motifs I could talk about but I’ve run out of steam here, TL;DR this is a very good book with important themes)

I’m gonna be honest here, I was pretty apprehensive about picking up this book - as one tends to be when books get pushed on you through ‘booktok’. I wondered if this was just another book whose significance was being overemphasized simply because of its queerness and diversity - the kind of book that is lauded for a laundry list of ‘representative’ traits but ends up missing all the good story beats and feeling entirely hollow. I’m very glad it isn’t. “Last Night at the Telegraph Club” was the very opposite of my expectations: vibrant, emotional, lush, familiar, a book I didn’t know I’d needed.

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pluckyredhead · 2 years

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There is a lot of Discourse (TM) about how Jason’s days as Robin are portrayed now and whether or not he was always a Bad Kid and whether portraying him as such foreshadows Red Hood or undermines the whole tragedy of that story and yadda yadda. Having read Every Single Jason Appearance, I can tell you that he was definitely not originally an irredeemably bad kid, just a mildly-rascally-at-worst kid trying to survive on the streets.

However. There is one element of his post-Crisis personality that crops up a couple of times, most notably in the infamous Felipe Garzonas story, that I think shows a really consistent through-line with who he would eventually become, and that is his reaction to sexual assault. So I want to take a look at both stories - first one that takes place over Batman #421-422, and then the Garzonas story almost immediately after in #424 - and see how they frame both sexual assault, and Jason’s reaction to it.

Content Warning: These stories are very explicitly (though not graphically) about sexual assault and serial killing and the complete incompetence/apathy of male authority figures (particularly the police) when it comes to doing anything about violence towards women, so I’m going to be talking about all of those things behind the cut. There is also a suicide in one of these issues and some casual racism.

Before I get into what happens in the comics, I want to point out the numbers here. The original, pre-Crisis Jason (the redheaded circus acrobat who was basically a total Dick ripoff) debuted in Batman #357 in March 1983, and appeared in 117 comics. His retconned, post-Crisis origin (the street kid version) began in #408 (June 1987) and he died in #428 (December 1988), so post-Crisis Jason, the version that would eventually grow into Red Hood, the version that all current canon is based on, only existed for a year and a half and a meager 30 appearances. (For comparison, he’s nearing 300 appearances since his return, plus about 50 in dreams and flashbacks between his death and resurrection. Post-Crisis Robin!Jason’s relative footprint is tiny.)

This means that anything Jason does in those 30 appearances carries a lot of weight, because we’re basing so much on very little original canon. Hence this close reading.

Anyway! The first story I want to talk about is called “Elmore’s Lady” in #421 and "Just Deserts” (no, that’s not a typo) in #422, and it’s by Jim Starlin and Dick Giordano. Jason only appears in the second issue; it’s mostly a Bruce and Jim failure party.

We begin with Batman and Jim frustrated by a case: the “Dumpster Slasher,” so dubbed by the press because of where he leaves his victims. He has murdered (and raped, though it’s heavily implied rather than stated outright) ten women, but they have no idea who he is and can’t catch him. Already I’m wondering what the fuck the World’s Greatest Detective has been doing this whole time, since if you do the math, this has apparently been going on for at least three months.

Ohhh, I see, it wasn’t important to Bruce until he knew one of the victims. (I recognize that I’m being a little unfair here, but the insistence on creating a flimsy relationship between Bruce and one of the women feels a lot like the rhetoric of “protect women because every woman is someone’s daughter/wife/mother.” How about protect women because we’re people?)

Batman gets a lead and spends about 15 pages following it to a somewhat weedy guy named Vito, who attacks him. Bruce is leaning on him for answers when a much larger man, Branneck, shows up and threatens to call the cops on him for breaking and entering:

Bruce slinks out with his tail between his legs. Immediately after he leaves, Vito and Branneck’s dialogue makes it clear that they are absolutely the killers, with Branneck as the more aggressive of the two. He says they’ll need to kill another girl in order to discredit Batman, which Vito protests against, ineffectually. The issue ends.

#422 begins with Vito freaking out that Batman is going to get them. Branneck, meanwhile, is a violent misogynist who doesn’t plan to stop what he sees as his righteous vengeance against women:

This page finally makes it clear, in Batman’s second panel, that rape is happening and not just murder. (Also, it’s eleven victims, Bruce, that was the whole point of the previous issue.) More importantly, the bizarre choice is made to use the layout and Jim’s dialogue to cast Branneck and Batman as parallels, as if serially raping and murdering women and trying to stop that from happening are somehow equivalent. “Don’t go too far stopping those rapists,” Jim warns, as if that’s the most important thing when 11 women are dead, or as if Bruce has ever demonstrated to Jim that he would cross whatever those vague “boundaries” are in the first place. Me and Sulky Jason over there are fed up with this milquetoast both-sides-ism!

Meanwhile, Branneck appears to have a stalker of his own:

He shakes it off, lures Vito to an isolated subway station, and stabs him to death so he can’t rat him to the cops/Batman. Then he rolls the body onto the tracks and hides the knife under the floorboards of his apartment. However:

Branneck is arrested and charged with murder. However, the evidence of the knife is ruled inadmissible, since Batman obtained it illegally. This begs two questions:

1. If this knife is inadmissible, why isn’t all the other evidence that Batman’s obtained since 1939 also inadmissible?

2. Or, if all evidence obtained by Batman is inadmissible, why doesn’t Batman know that?

This is just so completely stupid. Any story that hangs on a plot point that makes the reader go “Wait...then what have they been doing for the past 49 years?” is not a good plot point.

Branneck is released, but he decides to leave Gotham, which has gotten too hot for him. However, he’s going to kill one more time before he goes, and it’s going to be that uppity broad who keeps staring at him.

Meanwhile, Jason finally does a thing:

Namely, intervening when a pimp threatens violence against one of the prostitutes who works for him. Jason loses his temper a bit:

Meanwhile, Branneck goes after the woman who has been following him. However, when he grabs her and tries to haul her into his van, she immediately whips out a switchblade and slashes his throat, killing him.

When the cops show up, she hands over the weapon perfectly calmly, allows them to take her into custody, and explains herself: her sister was the second victim. Since then, she’s been stalking Branneck in order to get him to attack her, so that she could kill him in self-defense. It’s made explicit that she’s been doing this since before Batman even got involved with the case, which means that at least three women were raped, murdered, and left in dumpsters before Batman decided to lift a finger.

1. Hey Coppy McBrownHair, you don’t charge people, the DA does.

2. Self-defense is a thing.

3. Hey Jim, maybe save a little bit of your judgment and horror for the serial killers? Like, I’m not saying that executing rapists without a trial is a solution, but all these cops are real appalled considering they accomplished literally nothing in this entire story.

This is the point at which I get so angry that my soul leaves my body, and here’s why: this story sits so very firmly within a privileged, oblivious cis male point of view. It positions rape and all other sustained, targeted violence against women (the misogynistic killings, the beating of the prostitute) as unfortunate occurrences that can only happen to the Other. There is a tidy distancing from what happens to all the women in the story, as if the whole thing is an academic exercise in morality. (And as if cis men can’t experience sexual violence.) Sometimes women are just raped and left in dumpsters and it’s a shame, but what can you do? The only male character in this story who has the slightest bit of empathy for women (as opposed to a distant sympathy) is Jason, and he’s repeatedly scolded for it.

And Bruce’s little speech here about how Judy was wrong to set herself above the law... Bruce did that! I mean, Bruce does that every goddamn night, nothing about what he does is legal even though he’s claiming it is, but very specifically, Branneck got away because Bruce obtained his knife illegally. If Bruce had followed the law and, like, told Jim to get a warrant or something, Branneck would be alive and in jail right now. So apparently breaking the law is totally fine when Bruce does it, even though it allows a serial killer to get off scot-free, but it’s not okay when a woman uses self-defense against her sister’s murderer. (Again: SELF-DEFENSE IS A THING! I don’t know the laws of New Jersey in the 80s well enough to know how it would play out in court, but all Judy did before Branneck attempted to rape and murder her was look at him, so Bruce can take his holier-than-thou bullshit elsewhere.)

...All of which brings us to the famous Batman #424, “The Diplomat’s Son,” written once again by Jim Starlin and drawn by Doc Bright. This story is pretty well known in fandom, so I’ll keep the summary parts as succinct as possible.

Basically, Jason is swinging around town when he hears a scream from a penthouse apartment. He crashes through the window and is attacked by the tenant, Felipe Garzonas, and Felipe’s bodyguard, Juan. Juan nearly kills Jason before Batman shows up and subdues him. Jason remembers the scream, and looks in the bedroom, where he finds a terrified young woman named Gloria hiding under the covers, her eye blackened.

Please note the horrified realization on Jason’s face. Recall that the only time the police in the previous story came close to a reaction like this was over Branneck’s death, not any of his victims’.

Everyone is taken to the police station, where Gloria explains that she went on a date with Felipe, not knowing who he was, and he raped her, but she was too ashamed to press charges. This was the second time; he had Juan kidnap her and bring her to the apartment. A livid Jason assures her that Felipe will be going away for a long time, but Jim Gordon then emerges from the interrogation room with this giant turd of an excuse:

“She says he raped her, but he says he didn’t, and so does his loyal employee, so our hands are tied”? What the fuck? Are you telling me no criminal in Gotham history has ever pleaded innocent before and he just has no idea how to handle it? Are you serious right now???

The thing that kills me about this is that Jim Gordon is supposed to be The Good Cop. The only non-corrupt cop in Gotham! Batman’s best friend! And so when he vomits out this weak nonsense, we’re supposed to read it as noble and rational. It’s so unfortunate, but he’s doing the Right and Honorable thing by...refusing to believe a sobbing, terrified woman with a black eye. (No one mentions a rape kit, which probably would have been pushing things with the Comics Code, even by the late 80s.)

The sad thing is that it’s actually depressingly realistic in its depiction of police apathy. But it shouldn’t be, either in real life, or in fiction when characters like Jim and Bruce are held up as moral paragons.

It’s also all pointless, because Jim goes on to add that oh, by the way, Felipe is the son of the ambassador from the fictional Latin American country of “Bogatago,” a name so actively silly as to be vaguely offensive. (The DC wiki says it’s located between Brazil and Colombia, and that its economy “is almost entirely based on cocaine.” WOOF.) This means that Felipe has diplomatic immunity, and the cops can’t touch him.

However, Bruce has an idea. Felipe is a drug addict (there’s a weird line where Bruce scolds Jason for being “too emotionally involved” in the case to notice the signs, because having an emotion when you interrupt a rape is bad, I guess), so if they can catch him in possession of cocaine, the state department will send him home. It’s not criminal charges, but it’s something.

Eventually they catch him buying drugs, they arrest him, and the paperwork is put into motion to sent Felipe home. But Felipe gets one last dig in: at the police station, he calls Gloria and tells her he’s on his way to see her. He’s not, of course, but it’s one last chance to terrorize Gloria and taunt Jason.

Hey, Jim actually started giving a shit! He gives Jason Gloria’s phone number, but she doesn’t answer. Bruce and Jason race over to her apartment to find that she has died by suicide.

Jason immediately heads for Felipe’s apartment, with Bruce playing catchup at a distance because he stayed to inform the authorities of Gloria’s fate, and we get two of the most famous Jason pages in existence:

For the purposes of this post, I’m not actually interested in whether Jason pushed Felipe or not. (Although personally I lean toward yes, maybe sort of by accident but maybe not, but the power of the story is in its ambiguity so I’m not invested in “knowing” the answer.)

What interests me is that we have two stories nearly back to back that are about sexual violence against women where every male character is either actively perpetrating that violence, or completely and totally ineffectual. Neither Batman nor the police are capable of stopping Branneck, and they can’t save Gloria. Jason is the only male character to be viscerally upset by what happens in these stories, and he’s the only male character whose intervention stops continued violence against women; he intervenes on behalf of the prostitute in the first story, and Felipe certainly won’t be hurting anyone else. We’re meant to read him as out of control and going too far, but these stories don’t offer much of an alternative.

Anyway, this brings us to Red Hood: The Lost Days, which covers Jason’s training between the Lazarus Pit and returning to Gotham. He’s meant to be learning from the most vicious killers Talia can find for him, but he ends up killing about half of them when they do things he can’t abide, which are often sexual in nature.

I mean, look at what he says after he kills his first teacher, who was secretly a child sex trafficker:

Rereading this after reading the Branneck story put my jaw on the floor. He’s practically directly quoting Judy! And you just know that last panel is directed at Bruce, even though he’s talking to Talia.

I don’t think the argument that Jason was always an angry child, the angriest Robin ever, particularly holds water - he's certainly not depicted as consistently angry, even post-Crisis, and Dick lost his temper plenty as Robin. But Jason has a very consistent point of view when it comes to sexual violence. Maybe it seems like I’m making a lot of hay out of two comics, but remember, there are only 30 post-Crisis Jason appearances through “Death in the Family,” meaning that the two stories above make up almost ten percent of post-Crisis Robin!Jason’s appearances, and they are both Jason working through the idea that maybe rapists should be killed - an idea that he seems to have settled into very solidly by the time he becomes Red Hood.

Part of this is timing. The late 80s were a time that comics could suddenly get a lot darker and edgier than they had previously been able to get, and they were pushing boundaries, which is why there are two rape stories back to back. And “Under the Red Hood” came out a year after Identity Crisis, which pushed comics into an even more over-the-top era of “edgy,” tasteless bullshit. (You’ll note that in those 80s comics, the word “rape” is never used and the concept is only conveyed through heavy implication; after Identity Crisis, they couldn’t fucking stop using the word. It was exhausting. Lost Days is fairly restrained, but most of its contemporaries weren’t, including other comics by Winick.)

It also makes sense as a plot device for Lost Days, since it draws an ethical line in the sand: Jason might be a bad guy, but there are some lines he won’t cross, and some things he won’t stand for. It’s a logical thing to use to get us to keep rooting for him even as he’s plotting to kill Batman, a thing the reader presumably does not want him to succeed in doing.

But those are the real world reasons. I’m interested in the character’s reasons for reacting the way he does. And like I said before, I reject the idea that he’s simply an irrationally angry person - that’s not borne out by the rest of his time as Robin, pre- or post-Crisis, or in comparison to other Robins. I also don’t think his anger is irrational - I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I find Bruce and Jim to be pretty disgusting in these stories for their apathy and condescension.

One option is that Jason is a survivor of sexual violence himself. This is a pretty common trope in fic, so if that’s a headcanon of yours, feel free to take this as further evidence! I don’t have a problem with that headcanon per se, but I don’t know that I'm comfortable with assuming that the only reason he could feel this strongly about sexual violence is because he’s been on the receiving end of it (or, say, witnessed it happening to his mom or something else that would bring it very close to home). (There’s also something a little...hm...about the assumption that because Jason was poor as a child he’s definitely been sexually abused, but that’s a whole ‘nother discussion.)

What I see in these stories is the difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is when you feel bad for someone else. Empathy is when you feel as bad as if it were happening to you. Bruce and Jim display a very calm, distanced sympathy in these stories: yes, these things are terrible, and they want to stop them, but it doesn’t get them where they live.

Jason, on the other hand, clearly relates very hard to the prostitute he saves, and to Judy’s way of thinking when he hears her rationale behind killing Branneck. (”It Might Not Have Been Legal, But It Was Right”: The Jason Todd Story.) And you can see it on his face the minute he sees Gloria in that bed; he feels what has happened to her intensely, and defends her as he would himself.

As someone who writes Jason...a lot...this is something I try to keep in mind when I’m writing him. He is a very smart person and completely capable of analytical thought and careful planning, but his emotions are instantaneous, and they are deeply felt. Stimulus goes in; emotion cranked to eleven comes out IMMEDIATELY. And that’s definitely not always a good thing and has caused a lot of harm to him and others.

But at the heart of it, it comes back to a boy who cared so, so much about others that his body couldn’t contain it. He cares so much that it overflows the strictures of these two stories, which are clearly designed to cast Batman’s reserved incompetence in a tragically heroic light while foreshadowing Jason’s own death, and it shatters the moral framework Starlin is attempting to construct. Jason comes out of these stories as the only likable male character, because he cares enough to think about the women first and the dispassionate, unyielding moral code second.

(And remember, this is the boy who nursed his adoptive mother while she died, and sacrificed himself in an attempt to save his birth mother after she betrayed him. UGH there is so much to unpack here!!!)

Again, I’m not trying to argue that Jason is definitely right, or that we should kill rapists or deny them due process, or anything like that. But I think it’s really, really interesting that Jason has remained so consistent on this particular subject, even if that’s mostly down to coincidence and timing. I think it says some really compelling things about him, and some really gross things about the mindset behind those early stories. (“How do we show that this teenage boy is dangerously angry? Let’s have him be upset about rape. No one rational cares about that!”)

So to circle around to the question that I raised, uh...3000 words ago...if you track back Jason’s personality now to his days as Robin, do you find “a bad kid?” Obviously not. But you find a kid who was always intensely passionate, deeply sensitive to the pain and injustice experienced by others, and willing to voice unpopular opinions instead of staying safe in the shelter of patriarchal solidarity. And those things are absolutely still with him, in a way that has often been deeply destructive, but I don’t think they’re bad impulses. I think they’re really, really endearing ones, and it’s part of what makes him such a beloved character.

...But also, yeah, he definitely pushed that dude off of that balcony.

#jason todd #red hood #hoo boy this got long #rape cw #meta

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feelingofcontent · 2 years

Text

DNP Rewatch: Basically I'm Gay

Date video was published: 06/13/2019 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 397

And here we are. Dan coming out simultaneously feels like it just happened and so long ago. I vividly remember when this video got posted. I was at work, and saw the tweet and then the video almost immediately after. I thought it would be fine to watch at my desk...and then I started crying and had to go sit in the bathroom with my headphones to finish it.

0:00 - the big sigh to start it off

0:13 - Hector’s art! it’s so perfect through this whole video

0:29 - “spoiler alert, I’m not straight” runs through my head so often

0:59 - so strange to see normal air quotes after so many Phil videos

1:04 - I really appreciate all of Dan’s little cut-ins to the main narrative

1:24 - I love sarcastic Dan. very warranted here

1:37 - I wonder when he filmed this compared to when he uploaded it (obviously before his birthday, but earlier in June? earlier in the year? I don’t think he ever said)

1:43 - the quick jump cuts here are a nice detail

2:13 - and it is intense immediately though he did just warn everyone it would be

2:40 - awww, tiny Dan! adorable

3:26 - the nineties were not okay

3:39 - yeah if it was me, I would be more scared of people I knew watching this than strangers. that had to be stressful

3:58 - theater kid Dan

4:35 - not even 5 minutes into the video and he already has such a clear narrative (especially on rewatch knowing the rest of the story). he put so much thought and emotion into this

5:13 - lmao what even. children are bizarre creatures. that poor mother indeed 😂

5:55 - “winnie the pooh meets slenderman” is quite the description

6:14 - how is spin the bottle a thing groups of children learn about and play everywhere

6:46 - oh Dan 😕

7:14 - British schools in the early 2000s sound a lot more horrifying than most US schools

7:54 - more little Dan. oversized “you’ll-grow-into-clothes” though is definitely part of what he talks about elsewhere about his family not always having a lot of money

8:22 - this may be my favorite photo of young Dan

8:31 - the Runescape call-out gave me such flashbacks the first time I watched this

9:14 - awww Dan; so sweet but then the internal realization he must have had

9:50 - unrequited crushes are so hard. and even worse when it’s like this...they could have liked me too but didn’t

10:46 - I love the art for “emo”

11:12 - “slap a long fingerless glove on my arm” 😂 Dan really does a good job on inserting a bit of lightness in this overall heavy video

11:32 - thanks Dan 😊

11:59 - Dan forever haunted by old photos he posted

12:27 - “a bi vibe” how would you even respond to that

12:42 - Dan’s tongue thing and the eyebrow raise there

13:09 - “almost nice to me” is still awful

14:02 - this is about where I started crying the first time I watched this

14:43 - having to hold that all in and then not having support from family or friends either. I can’t imagine

15:14 - important annotation there

15:42 - the most Dan has ever talked about his dad

16:40 - the intense eye contact with the camera

17:52 - this sounds more terrifying than anything. seeing where Dan lived in Hometown Showdown though...he didn’t have a lot of options in his environment, which is something he talks about here and later in YWGTTN

18:34 - thinking you’ve found a ‘solution’ but it just making things worse is so terrible

19:19 - and this was where I was glad I read the content warning in the description before my first watch so I had some idea what was coming

19:41 - the subtitles show what is actually being said here in all the overlap. recording this part and having to think back to that must have been so difficult

19:52 - still can’t get through watching this part without tearing up. can’t imagine being his family/people who know him watching it

20:26 - this bit is so important. I love Dan so much

21:18 - he was always focusing on how to get out

21:29 - can’t believe he still had his nametag from that

21:37 - seeing 2009 Dan and 2019 Dan right after each other is a lot

21:53 - still can’t believe he included screenshots of his own formspring posts that at one point he had wished could be removed from the internet forever

22:09 - that is such a generic statement and yet says so much. also, he’s been skipping around the timeline a bit with when he started YouTube and such, but he specifically puts this before the “I met Phil” part

22:19 - sometimes I think we forget that Dan actually said this.

22:22 - “more than just romantic” is just 😭 and ‘trust’ and ‘safety’ being what Dan needed most and something Phil provided. and the trust he and Phil still have with each other, to the point of Phil being comfortable with Dan saying all of this in the video before Phil had really come out publicly himself

22:42 - and more crying. “actual soulmates” says the man who doesn’t believe in souls...Phil transcends that disbelief

22:57 - “one person accepting you can make all the difference” might be the most memorable line from this video for me

23:04 - but still drawing the boundaries they want. so important

23:53 - specifically the boundaries around discussion of sex life (although sometimes I think we know too much already...*cough*)

24:15 - another extremely important point. not coming out is not lying

24:50 - clips from Our List of Awkward Moments all the way back in 2014 and the diss track in 2016

25:28 - hearing what Dan felt like and what was happening from his perspective during the 2011-2012 era

26:12 - I love the “we love working together” it’s so true; you can see it in every project they do together 🥺

26:17 - the “me and Phil” as usual. and this whole statement about them wanting their relationship for them and not for anyone else

27:00 - hearing about Dan’s background here puts any defensive reaction he ever had into context. anyone around during the 2011-2012 time knows exactly what mixed messages he is talking about

28:05 - seeing that change in internet culture in real time was so strange

29:04 - wanting to be “authentic” has always been something Dan said over the years

29:12 - the sexy music underlay here that they use so often 😂

29:28 - a bit where I think meeting their audience on tour really helped Dan...he knows people in his audience have similar stories

29:43 - I relate to that coming from a small overall-conservative town as well

31:02 - more important points and acknowledgement about privilege

32:25 - “science. you fucked up” the little rant amuses me

33:00 - so many little details

33:25 - I think he has impeccable timing for he jokes in this video to break things up

34:08 - Dan in heels when. I guess we will just have to appreciate Phil in those heeled boots from VPMO2

34:20 - I love that he was doing gestures even when he was going to insert art

34:33 - ‘Susan’ of course and using this single line as an excuse to get cake

35:12 - I really like that he both talks about his personal thoughts about labels, while also saying that everyone has different feelings about them

36:22 - “I don’t know shit ‘bout shit and neither does anyone else” I need to start using this

36:26 - oh I forgot it directly proceeded that line 😂

36:48 - “whatever heterosexual is, I ain’t it” another line I love

38:22 - this might be the most powerful bit of the video for me

38:52 - adore Dan laughing a bit at himself for this

39:14 - again, wonder exactly when this was filmed. also knowing that his family didn’t know for all those years...the support from Phil and the Lesters must have been so important to have

39:20 - having to prepare for that possibility could not have been easy

39:48 - I feel the second-hand awkwardness from this

39:54 - that subject line does not help

40:52 - Dan’s grandma, both sweet and has her priorities 😂 he did not forget to give her the iPad

41:38 - I’m glad he got such a positive, supportive reaction to this video overall

42:33 - this art and then him being a part of that group just a few weeks later at Pride... 😭

44:34 - sometimes I just want to send people this clip

44:54 - really like him speaking to his audience at the end here

Just so much love for Dan for this video. He put so much into this video and thought about so many details - the music choices, the lighting changes, the art (and the coloring matching the lighting), some of the wording that he had literally be thinking about for years... And the follow-up from both him and Phil on Twitter. The shoutout to Phil in the description for “production assistance” always gets me too. Really no other words just ❤❤❤

He was so active on social media for a bit afterwards - sharing pictures of his rainbow birthday cake, balloons, this insta story, and these tweets specifically (1, 2, 3). And then of course going to Pride in early July (1, 2, 3), where he looks so happy in all the pictures from that day. 😭

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan howell #daniel howell videos #Basically I'm Gay

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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 24 part two

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Arguing

After enjoying a tense afternoon with Lan Xichen, Wei Wuxian comes home to enjoy a tense evening with Jiang Cheng. He pauses in the doorway as he takes in Jiang Cheng’s mood and decides which metaphorical mask he will put on to interact with his shidi. As someone who grew up with explosive people, I find this routine very familiar.

Wei Wuxian is always carefully playing a role as he interacts with the people in his life. Clearly he has read the classic sociology text The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life and is using it as a how-to guide. We see him do this same calculation over and over, in which he reacts internally to a situation, comes to a decision about what persona to inhabit, and then dons that persona. It’s a typical abuse survival tactic and...it is exhausting.

This is why I think his leaving to be alone for a while in Episode 50 is a good thing. Being alone isn’t better than being with someone else, usually, but for Wei Wuxian, who is (by Episode 50) assured of love but not sure where he belongs in his own life, being by himself for a while is going to be the best thing for him. He can learn how to just be a person, instead of constantly trying to mold himself to fit everyone around him.

For the current tense situation, Jiang Cheng is polishing his sword, which, incidentally, is slang (in English, not necessarily in Chinese) for masturbating. Which makes their conversation about how frequently it needs doing kind of a hoot. “One time a month should do,” per Wei Wuxian.

Jiang Cheng yells at Wei Wuxian--fairly, really--for being drunk all the time and not working on clan tasks. Then he responds to a hug attempt by shoving Wei Wuxian and knocking him down. JC asks WW if he’s too drunk to manage his spiritual power. Now, we know that he doesn’t have any spiritual power to manage, and that’s the main point of this interaction. But it also shows us something else about their dynamic.

This was just a quick hit, and when it takes WWX out, JC asks why he isn’t responding with spiritual power. Which means that apparently *every* time Jiang Cheng gives Wei Wuxian a shove or a shoulder check, or strikes him--like he’s been doing constantly since Episode 3--he’s putting spiritual power behind it. That’s...really harsh.

Jiang Cheng wants Wei Wuxian to fight back, and Wei Wuxian can’t; this is a big part of why their relationship breaks down. Casual blows loaded with spiritual power are part of their vocabulary, and Wei Wuxian can’t speak that language any more, even for basic defense. He’s literally not safe having simple interactions with Jiang Cheng now, because he’s secretly disabled, and Jiang Cheng is casually injuring him whenever he gets too close.

(more after the cut!)

This time Wei Wuxian has had enough, and raises Chenqing to Jiang Cheng, who immediately backs off. Jiang Cheng has seen that thing in action, not just on the battlefield, but in a small room full of whatever remained of Wen Chao when they were done with him. He takes this as a serious threat, and backs off, disturbed and puzzled and hurt.

Jiang Cheng thinks the change in Wei Wuxian is coming from apathy, not from disability, and so he misunderstands it over and over. Think of a friend saying “whatever, I’m sick of arguing with you, do what you want.” Jiang Cheng is very ready to feel rejected, and not at all ready to look at Wei Wuxian’s behavior and try to actually understand it.

Crying Over You

Wei Wuxian bails and goes to see Jiang Yanli in the ancestral hall, where she is polishing a name plaque. I turned the gamma way up to see whose it is and...I dunno. This character might be 江 (Jiang), I guess?

Jiang Yanli is the only one of the trio who knows how to mourn properly, in that she is taking some time to sit and be sad. Mourning the dead--both ritually and just in the emotional sense--is as important a part of reclaiming Lotus Pier as the training of disciples and having good times on the lake.

She asks him about his fight with Jiang Cheng and he says he’s used to fighting with him. Jiang Yanli asks him if he’s tired of living there, and Wei Wuxian deflects and deflects, saying “it’s my home, where else would I go?” and that if Jiang Fengmian hadn’t adopted him he would still be begging in the streets. He says “no matter what happens, I won’t leave Lotus Pier,” which is not an answer to her question.

It’s also not true. Like so many of his promises, it’s an expression of his wishes, with no space for the surprises real life is made of. He promises her that he won’t be reckless again, and asks her not to be mad at him. She says she can’t be mad at him, and then they share a flashback about Jiang Fengmian finding him on the street. This is a story, not a memory; Wei Wuxian can’t remember but he remembers her telling him about it. Jiang Yanli wasn’t there, in the moment. So this is her telling the story as it was told to her, probably by Jiang Fengmian.

Flashback Time

In the flashback, picky salad-hating Wei Ying is out on the street, looking for food in a cartload of pretty okay scraps. I mean, yeah, skip the tomatoes, but most of the greens look fine.

He’s found and fed by Jiang Fengmian, who recognizes him and decides to take him in.

Within a couple of episodes, we will see Wei Wuxian paying this favor forward, saving someone he finds starving on the street. Just like Jiang Fengmian, he's going to upset and disrupt his family in order to help someone for whom he feels a deep connection.

During this flashback we get a look at Jiang Fengmian’s sword, and it is a beauty.

What is Love

As the flashback ends, Wei Wuxian is smiling, hearing Jiang Yanli tell this touching story of starvation and orphanhood. She tells him he was born with a smiling face, and that he never minds much about sorrowful things; no matter how bad the situation is, he is always happy. Way to reinforce that metaphorical mask he’s wearing over his deep, deep despair, sis!

They talk a bit about Jiang Cheng’s bad temper. Then Jiang Yanli says now that her parents are gone, they three are the closest in the world, and he responds by putting his head down on her knee and theatrically saying he’s hungry. But he’s crying for real, and so is she.

Then he decides to ask her why people fall in love, basically, and claims that he does not have anyone in his heart. He says there’s no need to like a person that much, that it’s like “haltering your own neck,” according to Netflix. Let’s have a look at that figurative language for a second, and what’s missing from the Neflix translation.

What he says is (as near as my qhanzi.com skills can make out) “這不就是自己給自己脖子上套犁拴韁吗” which Google tells me means "Isn't this just putting a plow on my neck with a rein?" The part of the image that’s missing from Netflix subs is the plow, and the hard labor and animal servitude involved in pulling a plow. This isn’t a pro-romance image.

He’s clearly thinking about Lan Wangji when he lies about having no-one in his heart, but right now the yoke that he wants to escape has nothing to do with Lan Wangji. The person he’s harnessed to in a team, the person who he labors with, the person he wants to escape, is Jiang Cheng. What’s chafing his neck is the promise he made, to stay and serve as one half of a pair, when he can no longer pull his weight.

Busted

Speaking of Jiang Cheng, he is hanging around outside the shrine, listening to the conversation. Wei Wuxian busts him, pointing out not that eavesdropping is bad, but that it’s bad for grownups. Jiang Cheng points out that he’s the master of Lotus Pier so he’s allowed to go anywhere he wants.

(I love how he looks framed by this giant lotus behind him)

We Wuxian has another of those moments where he assesses the best approach to Jiang Cheng before responding.

Then he picks a fake fight with him about soup. Yanli comes out and tells them both to grow up, saying that JC is losing his demeanor as clan leader. He jokingly fixes his already-perfect robe ad they all have a chuckle.

Then Jiang Cheng reminds Wei Wuxian of his promise for the millionth time, and Jiang Yanli goes to make soup for the millionth time. As soon as the boys see that she’s gone, the smiles drop right off of their faces. They’re both performing their typical relationship dynamic for Jiang Yanli.

Being Reasonable

The brothers repair to the main hall, and stand behind the lotus throne looking out of this complicated wall/doorway thingy, while they talk about Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan.

Jiang Cheng is being mature and sensible here, trying to give Jiang Yanli what she wants and also explaining very, very basic political stuff to Wei Wuxian, who is too caught up in his hate boner for JZX to want to think about the bigger picture. He also thinks that Jin Guangyao is a nicer person, but Jiang Cheng says that nice doesn’t matter.

Wei Wuxian is getting a full head of steam going about what a jerk JZX is, when Jiang Cheng makes him actually stop and think, by pointing out that it’s not for them to forgive or not forgive Jin Zixuan’s past behavior; it’s up to Yanli.

Wei Wuxian sees the reasoning in this, and starts to say he can’t understand why Yanli chose to like this person, but then he stops himself and goes through a rapid series of thoughtful, uncomfortable expressions.

Perhaps he’s realizing that he himself has chosen to like an infamously stuck-up, fancy cultivator, albeit one with no soup-related character deficits.

Library Time

The stuck-up cultivator in question is currently in the Cloud Recesses library, where he has snuck into the forbidden books room, against his uncle’s express command, for the purpose of helping Wei Wuxian. The forbidden books room is an entire basement floor of the library; it probably has more books than the not-forbidden part of the library, since the main floor needs space for the restrooms, circulation desk, and copy machines.

(Did OP photoshop the Wangxian-in-the-Library porn picture onto Lan Wangjis’ book? She did.)

A couple of other Lans come along and see the main door unlocked. The lock is a big fish that probably uses magic for locking; it definitely doesn’t use a key. One of them steps in the doorway, glances back and forth without walking through, and does not check the secret door to the forbidden vault. Gosh, how did Su She and/or Jin Guangyao ever manage to steal secrets from this highly secure location, wow.

Lan Wangji hears the Lan disciple on guard duty say “don’t tell Hanguang Jun about this!’ and has a series of microexpressions that might indicate some kind of feeling about simultaneously being a rule breaker and a rule enforcer.

Boat Time

We end with an idyllic scene on the lake in Lotus pier, where a new batch of disciples is harvesting lotuses and learning the opposite of boat safety.

Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian are having a good time, and seem utterly carefree; both of them are good at living in the moment, or faking it.

Wei Wuxian thinks, in voiceover, that it seems that it’s not so hard to go back to the old days. Uh...ok.

Except he’s hiding a massive secret and these replacement kids are not the same juniors he used to hang out with, and he can’t actually teach them cultivation, since he has no socially-acceptable magic power, and everything is about to go to shit in the next episode. But you gotta take your joy where you can, I guess.

Note: There are a lot of questionable effects in The Untamed, but there are also beautiful scenes like this one, which looks like a Maxfield Parrish painting. Compare with the BTS below and you can see what a good job the VFX team did in bringing this lake to life.

#the untamed #cql #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #the untamed gifs #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs

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profoundtyrantharmony · 3 years

Text

Title : That’s How I Feel

Warning : None. Italics means flashback. Y/f/c => your favorite color. Y/f/sc => your favorite summer clothe.

Words : around 2260

Painting : Loki x Black!Chubby!Reader

Requested by @rootbeergoddess “Can you write a story where a chubby, brown skinned reader is dating Loki and Loki decides to spoil her one day by taking her to the mall and buying her everything she wants?”

My name is y/f/n y/l/n, I’m a young adult living in 21th century. You wonder why I would say that ? Simple. I’m a woman, black and chubby, and apparently in this era this is a huge problem. I didn’t do anything wrong, I mean yeah I love good food and I’m not overly fond of any kind of sport but is this really enough of a reason to basically bully me everyday. Let me answer this basic question : HELL NO !!! I’m pissed of all this bad comments about my appearance, what I should do to lose weight, to eat healthier… I can’t stand the fact that we are being judge (yes because of course I’m far from being the only one) based on our looks rather than our sharpe mind. I know my worth, and I am far more worthy than all of these piece of…garbage…those wanabe decent human. Right now I seem like I am incredibly confident but I’m not. I’m alone in my room talking to myself in my head because I am not capable of doing it in front of my bullies !! You wanna know what happened for me to be alone instead of happilly working ? Let me tell you a story…

I live in a cute two bedrooms appartment not far from the Avengers quarter (I’d say 20 minutes on foot). It’s a charming place, the neighbors are the nicest and most of all not judgmental. I live alone but sometimes my boyfriend come to spend the night at my house, those are the best night that could happen. But today I woke up alone in my king size bed, unfortunatelly for me he had an important meeting early this morning so he had to go early. His name is Loki of Asgard heir to the crown of Jotunheim, adoptive son of Odin, brother of Thor and most importantly the Holder of my heart. It’s been 4-5 months that we are actually together but we’ve known each other for about one year. We met at the Avengers compound where I worked as an assistant for Pepper Potts before I became the analyst that I am today, but that’s a story for another time. As I was saying I woke up alone this morning, it was 8:30 am. I’m not due to work until 10:00 am. I decided to take my breakfast while mentally visualise what I will do to work, whilst thinking about how to avoid my mescreants of co-workers (you read it right co-workers not collegues, I’m not appreciate enough to call them that, I only consider Bonnie a collegue, she’s the closest thing I have to a friend at work. ). Once my coffe and my toasts spread with honey were eaten I went to to the bathroom to prepare myself. The most difficult part for me is to chose what I am going to wear if I don’t want any comments. The purpose is to clearly become invisible, like a shadow lurking in the corner of the room. I don’t want to wear a cute dress, a fluffy skirt or a top with some lacework on it cause i will 100% receive insults, mockery, and I just don’t have the strengh anymore, it already happened before it will happened again I can’t do anything to stop it. I already try when I was younger and guess what “it’s just words don’t listen to them”, thanks a lot I feel better now ! I finally decided on a simple dark tight blue jeans and a white shirt with an afro motif on it (just like me). I put some liner and mascara and I was ready to face my personal hell. I went to work on foot, it was sunny with a bit of fresh wind, perfect for 20 minutes of walk. I arrived at exactly 9:50 am, and went to my desk to begin with my daily task. It took time and mental energy cause i’m a bit perfectionnist. My boss knows of that fact and are still satisfied with me because my work is ALWAYS perfect and NEVER need rework, the fact that I won the award of the best employee last year and this year too is something that didn’t escape me. That’s why I went to the communal area to get some tea and a chocolate and pistachio cookie, I really needed it. Just before I arrived I heard my name being said, and clearly not in a friendly way. I stayed hidden in the corridor to listen to what was being said. I recognised the voice of five persons (three men and two women, all agents of shield), they were talking about how fat I am, how ugly I am, how my clothes are too tight and not meant for me. But if it was only about my body it would be just like usual, nothing to worry about, but they were talking about my personnality (low confidence, shy, discret) and about Loki, and that, I couldn’t stand it ! How dare they insult him after all he has done for humanity, for shield, for them, only to be treated as a lesser man, it’s absolutelly despicable. Understanding that whatever I could do I will never be enough for them made me sad and angry at myself. I didn’t wanna eat anymore and decided to quit work for the day (don’t worry I informed Pepper) and get back home and stay alone in my bedroom, laying on my dark green new bedsheets.

I stay alone like this for quite some time until I hear the familiar voice of my tender one.

“I came as fast as I could, Pepper warned me you left work early what happened ?” He seems so worried, I don’t want him to see me as a weak little human even if I know that he doesn’t see me like that at all.

“Don’t worry it’s nothing. Lets talk about something else, how was the meeting ?” He was looking at me as if he could read me, maybe he can, he is too cute, look at his face, his eyes, his…sad smile ? What happen to him ? “Why the sad face Loki ?”

“I’m not sad, I know what you’re going through on a personnal level trust me, plus there is no such thing as secrecy when you work with and for the Avengers and shield. I know what those pathetic little things called humans have said about you, your collegue Bonnie was close to the area when she heard them, she called them on their bullshit (has been insulted short after) and came to Pepper who then came to me right after.” He come to sit beside me, his face coming closer to mine, his hands taking my face in his, our forehead touches, our eyes getting close, we breath each other’s in, it was so calm and tender. “The things you make me feel princess, I don’t think you understand the power you have over me that’s insane !” His smile when he said this makes my tears almost came free. We kissed each other slowly with a lot of passion until we stop to breath.

“I just don’t understand why they are so mean with me, yes I’m black but I can’t change that, yes I’m chubby but i’m don’t have cardiac problems, cholesterol issues or diabete, I walk everyday to go to work, I’m as healthy as I can be and those buffons can go to hell because I’m so freaking smart that they can’t understand how wonderful I am !!”

“You have a lot of confidence in you princess so why don’t you use it at work ?”

“You mean why I do not take the lead ? You mean taking the lead the same way I take it last time we were together in bed ?” I was trying so hard to change the topic of conversation but that was vain.

“Hmm you’re being a naughty girl don’t play this game right now I’m being serious.”

“You’re no fun !! Well, when I’m with you I feel respected, love. I trust you the way i never have thought I could. You never judge me and you make me feel whole, you’re the first person I see myself with for the long term, you’re the one for me and I hope you will love me for the rest of our time.” Tears were flowing from his eyes, he takes me in his arms and kisses me for all his worth. The moans that come out of my mouth was like a fuel to him, he could never stop loving me. “Come with me princess, we’re going shopping !”

The road to the mall was short cause we live close by and we took the car. It was still pretty early in the afternoon, maybe 3:00 pm si we had all the time we wanted, we were not in a hurry. When he parked the car I still didn’t know why we came here.

“Why did we came here Loki ?” I asked him.

“I have some items to purchase Princess.” He says with with a smile that could bright the entire universe.

“How many items do you have to purchase?” He smirked at me, and calmly told me :

“A healthy amount”.

We entered the mall, I didn’t know what to look for, it’s been so many time i didn’t come here, work kept me grounded in a way. I always asked one of my neighbors to do my shopping in exchange of some petsitting (when hollidays comes, familly week-end…it’s better than abandonment if you ask me). There were so many things I’d like to buy but I didn’t do it. Loki was leading to the litterature corner of the mall, I remembered that my favorite author just published a book days ago but didn’t purchase it. Without a word, he took the book and paid for it, I know he loves reading maybe he is a y/f/a’s fan. We looked at each other, smiling.

“Where do you want to go now ?

"I heard about the new summer collection, I’d like to go and check it out of that’s okay with you princess.” How could I ever refuse this face. He took my hand in his and lead me to the summer clothes sections. There were to many wonderful skirts, dresses I couldn'tstop looking at them…but would I ever be worthy of wearing them…

“Princess what do you think about this gorgeous y/f/c y/f/sc ? I think it will compliment your figure and make your pop more.”

“Why would you wanna buy it ? That’s not exactly what you would wear my sweet.”

“It’s not for me” he said laughing, “That’s for you !”

“…But why ?” I was shocked.

“Why would I want to spoiled the best thing that ever happened to me you mean ? Because I can and most importantly I want to do it. I want you to see yourself as I see you. I want you to feel self confident enough to allowed yourself to wear whatever you want without feeling self concious. And above all I want to please you as the Princess tou deserve. So I’m asking you, will you let me buy you books, clothes, make up, knits…”

“How do you know about the knits ?” I asked interumpting him.

“It doesn’t matter, I know that you knit some tiny socks and caps for orphans babies, that you don’t tell to anyone cause you don’t brag about the good thing you do because that’s not who you are and I love you all the more for it. You take so much care about people you don’t even know but never about you. I’m here to change it I’m here to take care of you the way you won’t do.”

“Loki…I..I..Thanks you”. I was crying my soul out. It wasn’t from sadness but from hapiness, i couldn’t describe the amount of love I felt for him this right moment. We hugged each other, the time stopped around us and we were floating like two leaves dancing with the wind.

“Lets go eat something, I saw a french backery at the other end of the mall.”

“Good idea, I didn’t eat since breakfast so I’m a little bit starving.” I happilly answered.

“There is a lot of choices princess, croissant, paint au chocolat, chicolate chips cookie…a millefeuille…” he was undecided.

“Why not take the four and split, this way de could taste and eat a bit of everything.” I told him, secretly hopping he’d say yes, cause, lets be honnest here, french food was literally my péché mignon (*cute sin/guilty pleasure*). He was more than happy with this idea, and more than happy to share his food with me. We talked a lot, purchase many other items, especially a bouquet of several flowers ( bouton d'or for joy ; white camellias for the eternal love ; fuchsias for unbreakable love ; gardenias for honesty ; lavender for respect and tenderness, last flowers but not the least the white roses for pure love). I was so overwelmed with joy that I couldn’t contain my tears.

“What did I do to deserve all this Loki ?” I asked crying.

“There is no reason really…” he looked me in the eyes and I saw all the love pouring into them as he continued “…that’s how I feel.”

*This is the end of my first fic, hope you liked it, remember, english is not my mother tongue so there might be some mistakes.*

*If you want to request check out here*

*Likes, Comments and Reblogs are also appreciated*

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson x you #loki x you #reader insert #black!reader #loki x black!reader #chubby reader #oc character #black!chubby!reader #loki x black!chubby!reader #fluff #fanfiction

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wintervvidow · 3 years

Text

apricity

part one.

apricity - the warmth of the sun in winter

warnings: angst, blood mention, violence

pairing: bucky barnes x female oc

word count: 2,364

A/N: hi! welcome to part one of apricity! set in mid-captain america: the winter soldier. this idea has been in my head for a very long time and I am super excited to finally get it out. in this story I use the term “winter widow” , similar to the “winter soldier”, it has no correlation to bucky and natasha here. prolonged italics indicate a flashback. friendly feedback is appreciated! thank you! <3

ALSO: please know that future parts will take a WHILE. I just want to get the first part out to get the ball rolling.

MASTERLIST

The silence is what breaks her. She swears she would have been fine if it weren't for the silence, the screams of innocent bystanders no longer existed, the smell of gunpowder burning her nose and stinging her eyes. Aside from the erratic breaths coming from both their lips, you could hear a pin drop as their eyes stared at each other in a blinding intensity as Steve Rogers called out to him, “Bucky?”

The gun feels entirely too heavy in her hands as her lungs expand rapidly, eyes unmoving from the ghost of a man in front of her. Except he isn't a ghost anymore. He's here, alive. James Buchanan Barnes, her Bucky, alive.

He’s clad in all-black tactical gear, metal arm glinting blindingly in the sun. His eyes are a stormy shade of blue, same as the ones that haunt her in her nightmares, not the kind blue she wishes she could have back. The Winter Soldier is the shell of the man she was in love with, the man in front of her was the man she learned to love all the same. He protected her even when he didn’t remember her, even the brainwashing couldn’t fully get rid of the love they both had for one another. Although HYDRA fought like hell to make them both forget. It never worked though, fragments of memory always littered their conscience.

His brows furrow, overgrown hair in his eyes, “Who the hell is Bucky?”

Deep down in her bones, she knew he was alive. The last time she saw him he was being wiped by HYDRA, his screams masking her disappearance into the winter weather. HYDRA searched high and low for her, yet they forgot that they were the ones to train her. HYDRA perfected her, taught her how to disappear into thin air, and that's just what she did. They went as far as to send the Winter Soldier to find her, but even he couldn’t track her. Florence was a ghost.

Florence Morozov was many things before she was an assassin; she was an immigrant daughter, a friend, a nurse, and her greatest title of all, the love of Bucky Barnes' life, his fiancée. The couple, along with the third wheel Steve, were inseparable in their younger days before the second war. Where there was one, the other two were usually not far behind.

The trio had gone to the Stark Expo the night before Bucky got shipped off to the war. That night Bucky had proposed with a small emerald ring, promising her that when he got back they'd get married, move into a little white picket fence house, and settle down. They dreamed of growing old together surrounded by their kids and grandchildren. Only that dream had been crushed under the heel of HYDRA, not long after Florence enlisted as a nurse and Steve became Captain America, notably leading the Howling Commandos. Florence worked closely along with them, acting as a medic when needed.

When Steve woke up from his 70-year slumber on ice, Florence had a lot of explaining to do. How she was alive, what she had been doing, where she had been. She told Steve what he needed to know, leaving Bucky out of the answers. She had to protect him, even if it meant lying to their shared best friend. She would do anything to protect Bucky.

Florence explained to Steve that when she fell off the train with Bucky, she had been captured by HYDRA and experimented on. She was sent to the Red Room to be trained and then sent back to HYDRA in the ‘50s. She was their puppet for 46 years, coined the name the Winter Widow before she disappeared in late December of 1991. Florence was on the run for 17 years before she was taken in by Clint Barton, joining S.H.I.E.L.D along with Natasha Romanoff.

Natasha and Florence grew to be very close over the years, the trauma they both shared bonded them. Natasha was the only one to know the full story of Bucky, every nitty-gritty detail that haunted Florence in her dreams. When Nick Fury had been killed, both Florence and Natasha immediately recognized the ballistics information, a silent agreement between the two redheads to only tell Steve what he needed to know, no more than that. Florence only told Steve that she knew the Winter Soldier, nothing more. Natasha understood her secrets, she had them herself, her response of, "That's not my story to tell, we all have secrets for a reason."

Florence quickly tracked everything up to this moment. Fury being attacked, Steve's description of the shooter, the Winter Soldier attacking them on the highway only minutes ago. And then there was the chase between the soldier and Florence, trying to divert him. And it worked, Florence had managed to distract him until he got too close, the pair of lovers engaging in hand-to-hand combat until Steve intervened.

And now here she was standing in the middle of the street with a bullet in her shoulder from none other than the Winter Soldier. Flashes of the mission in Odessa running through her mind, he had shot her in the thigh then, Natasha in the abdomen. Steve stood in shock as the ghost disappeared, leaving Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Florence to be surrounded by HYDRA agents and arrested.

Blood trickled down Florence’s shoulder as she was seated between Sam and Natasha in the back of the truck. Her shoulder felt white-hot as she grits her teeth, Sam nervously glancing at her every second. Steve sat across from them, visibly upset, lifting his head to glare at Florence, eyes cold, "You said you knew the Winter Soldier, that you two had a history, not that it was Bucky!" Steve felt betrayed, his oldest friend lying to his face for years about his best friend.

Sam angrily glared at Steve as Florence rasped her response with a shaky breath, "Steve, I'm kind of bleeding out right now. This is going to have to wait, just know I had my reasons. I did it to protect him. And you."

Florence knew this day would come. Bucky wouldn’t be a ghost forever. She fought herself internally every night, dreaming of him. It was always him; the good and bad, the Red Room, what happened after the Red Room, their mission in Romania, and every second in between. She was permanently trapped in her own personal hell.

Steve continued on, “It was him. He looked right at me and he didn’t even know me.”

Florence knew the feeling. Every time Bucky was reprogrammed, she had to convince him to loosen his grip around her throat, begging him to recognize her before he killed her. And every time he did, his eyes flashing in recognition and guilt. And then he would hold her shivering body against his in the confines of their shared cell, murmuring in her ear that he was sorry. And she knew he meant it. Even if his mind barely recognized her, his heart always did.

Sam questioned Steve loudly, causing Florence to flinch as she fell back down to reality, “How is that even possible, that was 70 years ago.” Florence felt bad for Sam, he just jumped headfirst into a dark world with more questions than answers.

“Zola. Bucky’s whole unit was captured in ‘43. Zola experimented on him. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. Florence, how are you even alive? Zola didn’t get to you before the fall?” Steve just asked the golden question.

Florence took a deep breath in, “I don’t know. There are gaps in time, I don’t remember much from it. They all said that the fall should have killed me but it didn’t. Then I became a lab rat. The end.”

Steve looked her directly in the eye for the first time the entire day, “They must have found him and…”

Natasha interrupted him, she knew where this conversation could lead, “None of that’s your fault, Steve.”

Florence shifted slightly, sharing a look with Natasha, silently thanking her for diverting the conversation.

Sam shifted beside her as another wave of blood oozed out from her shoulder, he turned to the guards, "We need to get a doctor here. If we don't put pressure on that wound, she's gonna bleed out here in the truck." Florence appreciated Sam’s protective and caring nature as Steve continued glaring daggers her way. Florence knew Steve wouldn’t understand her reasoning, too set in his ways of complete honesty all of the time. He didn’t understand what it meant to lie to keep those you loved safe.

The nearest guard flinched forward, flashing the taser at Sam before turning the taser on the second guard and kicking him unconscious. The guard pulled the helmet off of themselves, revealing Maria Hill, “God, that thing was squeezing my brain.” She motioned at Sam, “Who is this guy?” Everyone shared a collective sigh of relief at the sight of Maria.

After ditching the car, the team arrived at an undisclosed location. The doors of the truck opened, allowing sunlight to flood in. Steve helped Florence down from the truck, supporting her weight with ease. Blood continued to trickle from her shoulder as she leaned against him for support as Steve spoke while he half carried her forward into the building, “I’m not mad. I get why you didn’t tell me.”

Florence laughed slightly, her body weak, “Are you just saying that because I got shot and I’m currently bleeding out all over you?”

Steve scoffed, his body vibrating with the action, arm tightening around her, “No, Flo.”

Behind her and Steve, Sam called out for a doctor. People ran towards them from the opposite end of the hall, Maria Hill speaking over the sound of footsteps thundering down the hall, "Natasha, there's something you're going to wanna see. Steve, get Florence patched up."

The group broke apart for a short period of time, Natasha reappearing with a hopeful expression on her face as Florence grimaced in pain next to the doctor stitching her up, "Fury is alive."

All eyes remained on Natasha as she explained how Fury was alive, a medication Bruce Banner had come up with did the trick to fake his death. Florence looked to Sam as he digested this information, he didn’t know what he got himself into. She could feel Steve's eyes boring into her head, but she didn't dare look. Her mind was a constant loop of Bucky.

Flashback:

His calloused hand led her through the crowd of people, Steve trailing far behind. The trio had just gotten finished dancing and now they were wandering aimlessly through the busy streets of Queens. The air was brisk as it blew through Florence’s auburn hair, her dress fluttering around her calves. Bucky stopped in front of a movie theater, the lights casting a warm glow over his face as he turned to face the girl. Her cheeks were blushed pink from the chill of the air and a smile had been permanently etched on her face all night.

The news that Bucky was being shipped off in the morning loomed over them like a rain cloud but Bucky was determined to keep her smiling; at least until the morning. His hand abandoned hers, reaching down to fish in his pocket. He found what he was looking for quickly, the velvet box small in his hand. Florence gasped at soon as the box came into the light, tears welling up in her eyes. She knew what this was, she accidentally stumbled upon it when she was putting away clothes last week. A small emerald ring.

Bucky knelt down on one knee, flipping the box open, “Flo, you’ve been by my side through everything. You’re my best girl, always there keeping me in line. I love you more than words can say. I know I leave tomorrow and I should have done this years ago, but will you make me that luckiest man on earth and marry me?”

Florence flew into Bucky’s arms in a flurry of kisses and agreements, Bucky lifting her up and twirling her. He gently set her back on the ground, slipping the ring on her finger as she giggled. Bucky met her eyes, tears glimmering in them, “I promise you, when I get back you and I will get married, we’ll buy a house and we’ll make it a happy home; kids, dogs, a garden, all of it. I promise you.” By the end of Bucky’s promise, both he and Florence were crying in each other’s arms, each one clutching the other tightly, both hyper-aware that the future wasn’t promised.

Steve stumbled his way through the large crowd, catching sight of his two best friends hugging each other. He didn’t have the heart to break them up at the moment, so he watched on with a smile. It would all be okay.

Bucky sat in the test chair underneath the bank piecing the remnants of his memories together. He knew them. The man knew his name, or at least what he thought was his name. And he knew the girl he shot, memories of her smiling flickered through his mind. Yet they were complete strangers, their faces foreign yet home all at the same time.

Alexander Pierce was terrified of this day, whether he wanted to admit it or not. He knew of the attachment Bucky had to the Winter Widow, ever since she disappeared in ‘91, the soldier was harder to control, more agitated and violent. He screamed her name in his sleep and when they wiped him he was always mumbling about her when he became coherent. They tried to program it out of him, and when that didn’t work, they tried to beat it out of him, hoping she would vanish from his memories the way his blood washed down the drain. Nothing ever worked. The Winter Soldier was irrevocably in love with Florence Morozov and Alexander was going to use that against him.

The Winter Soldier’s mission was to kill Steve Rogers and Florence Morozov.

FEEDBACK IS WELCOMED. IF YOU ENJOYED, PLEASE REBLOG.

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lokiondisneyplus · 3 years

Text

Natalie Holt's timeline was turned upside down last fall when she landed the highly-coveted composer gig for Marvel Studios' Loki series on Disney+.

"My agent got a general call-out looking for a composer on a Marvel project," she tells SYFY WIRE during a conversation over Zoom. "So, I didn’t know what it was. It was [described as] spacey and quite epic ... I sent in my show reel and then got an interview and got sent the script and then I realized what it was for. I was like, ‘Oh my god!’ It was amazing ... Loki was already one of my favorite characters, so I was really stoked to get to give him a theme and flesh him out in this way."

***WARNING! The following contains certain plot spoilers for the first four episodes of Loki!***

Imbued with glorious purpose, Holt knew the score had to match the show's gonzo premise about the Time Variance Authority, an organization that secretly watches over and manages every single timeline across the Marvel multiverse. The proposition of such an out-there sci-fi concept inspired the composer to bring in uniquely strange sounds, courtesy of synthesizers and a theremin.

"I got my friend, Charlie Draper, to play the theremin on my pitch that I had to do," she recalls. "They gave me a scene to score, which I’m sure they gave to loads of other composers. It was the Time Theater sequence in Episode 1. The bit from where he goes up the elevator and then into the Time Theater ... I just went to town on it and I wanted to impress them and win the job and put as many unusual sounds in there and make it as unique as possible."

The end result was a weird, borderline unnatural sound that wouldn't have felt out of place in a 1950s sci-fi B-movie about big-headed alien invaders. Rather than being turned off by Holt's avant garde ideas, Marvel Studios head honcho Kevin Feige embraced them, only giving the composer a single piece of feedback: "Push it further."

Holt admits that she was slightly influenced by Thor: Ragnarok ("I loved the score for it and everything"), which wasn't afraid to lean into the wild, Jack Kirby-created ideas floating around Marvel's cosmic locales. Director Taika Waititi's colorful and bombastic set pieces were perfectly complimented by an '80s-inspired score concocted by Devo co-founder, Mark Mothersbaugh.

"To be honest, I tried not to listen to it on its own," Holt says of the Ragnarok soundtrack. "I didn’t want to be too influenced by it. I watched the film a couple of times a few years ago, so yeah, I don’t think I was heavily referencing it. But I definitely had a memory of it in my mind."

After boarding Loki last September, Holt spent the next six months (mostly in lockdown) crafting a soundtrack that would perfectly reflect the titular god of mischief played by Tom Hiddleston. One of the first things she came up with was the project's main theme — a slightly foreboding cue that pays homage to the temporal nature of the TVA, as well as the main character's flair for the dramatic. "He always does things with a lot of panache and flair, and he’s very classical in his delivery."

She describes it as an "over-the-top grand theme with these ornate flourishes" that plays nicely with Loki's Shakespearean aura. "I wanted those ornaments and grand gestures in what I was doing. Then I also wanted to reflect that slightly analog world of the TVA where everything has lots of knobs and buttons ... [I wanted to] give it that slightly grainy, faded [and] vintage-y sci-fi sound as well."

"I just wanted it to feel like it had this might and weight — like there was something almost like a requiem about it," Holt continues. "These chords that are really powerful and strident and then they’ve got this blinking [sound] over the top. I just came up with that when I was walking down the street and I hummed it into my phone. There’s a video where you can just see up my nose and I’m humming [the theme]. I came home and I played it."

As a classically-trained musician, Holt drew on her love of Mahler, Dvořák, Beethoven, Mozart, and most importantly, Wagner. A rather fitting decision, given that an actual Valkyrie (played by Tessa Thompson) exists within the confines of the MCU.

"I would say those flourishes over the top of the Loki theme are very much Wagner," Holt says. "They’re like 'Ride of the Valkyries.’ I wanted people to kind of recall those big, classical, bombastic pieces and I wanted to give that weight to Loki’s character. That was very much a conscious decision to root it in classical harmony and classical writing ... There’s a touch of the divine to the TVA. It’s in charge of everything, so that’s why those big powerful chords [are there]. I wanted people almost to be knocked off their socks when they heard it."

With the main theme in place, Holt could then play around with it in different styles, depending on the show's different narrative needs. Two prime examples are on display in the very first episode during Miss Minutes' introductory video and the flashback that reveals Loki to be the elusive D.B. Cooper.

"What was really fun was [with] each episode, I got to pull it away and do a samba version of the theme or do a kind of ‘50s sci-fi version of the theme," she explains. "I can’t say other versions of the theme because they’re in Episode 5 and 6…or like when Mobius is pruned, I did this really heartfelt and very emotional [take on the theme] when you see Loki tearing up as he’s going down in slow motion down that corridor. It was cool to have the opportunity to try out so many different styles and genres. And it was big enough to take it all. It was a big enough story."

The other side of the story speaks to the old world grandeur of Loki's royal upbringing on Asgard, a city amongst the stars that eventually found its way into Norse mythology.

"I went to a concert in London three years ago and I heard these Norwegian musicians playing in this group called the Lodestar Trio," Holt recalls. "They do a take on Bach, where they’re kind of giving it a folk-y twist … [They use] a nyckelharpa and a Hardanger fiddle — they’re two historic Norwegian folk instruments. I just remembered that sound and I was like, ‘Oh, I have to use those guys in our score.’ It seemed like the perfect thing. I was like, ‘Yes, the North/Norwegian folk instruments.’ It just felt like it was the perfect thing for his mother and Asgard and his origins."

That folk-inspired sound also helped shape the music for Sylvie (played by Sophia Di Martino), a female variant of Loki with a rather tragic past. "Obviously, we’ve seen in Episode 4 what happened to her as a child," Holt says. "I just feel like she’s so dark. She’s basically grown up living in apocalypses, so she has that Norwegian folk violin sound, but her theme is incredibly dark and menacing and also, you don’t see her. She’s just this dark figure who’s murdering people for a while."

And then there were all the core members of the TVA to contend with. As Holt mentioned above, fans recently lost Agent Mobius (Owen Wilson), may he rest in prune. We mean peace. What? Too soon? During a recent interview with SYFY WIRE, Loki head writer Michael Waldron said that he based Mobius off of Tom Hanks's dogged FBI agent Carl Hanratty in 2002's Catch Me If You Can.

"There’s this thing that he loves jet ski magazines," Holt says. "I had this character in my head and then when I saw Owen Wilson’s performance, I was like, ‘Oh, he’s actually a lot lighter and he plays it in a different way from how I’d imagined.’ But I was listening to Bon Jovi and those slightly rock-y anthemic things. ‘90s rock music for some reason was my Mobius sound palette."

Mobius is pruned on the orders of his longtime friend, Ravonna Renslayer (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), after learning that everyone who works for the TVA is a variant who was unceremoniously plucked out of their original timelines. A high-ranking member of the quantum-based agency, Renslayer has a theme that "is quite tied in with Mobius and it’s like a high organ," Holt adds. "It doesn’t quite know where it’s going yet. But yeah, we’ll have to see what happens with that one."

Wilson's character isn't the only person fed up with the TVA's lies. Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku) also became disillusioned with the place and allowed Sylvie to escape in the most recent episode

"Hunter B-15 has this moment in Episode 4 where Sylvie shows her her past, her memories. I thought that was a really powerful moment for her," Holt says. I feel like she’s such a fighter and when she comes into the Time-Keepers and she makes that decision, like, ‘I’m switching sides,’ so her theme is more like a drum rhythm. I actually kind of sampled my voice and you can hear that with the drums. I did loads of layers of it, just like this horrible sliding sound with this driving rhythm underneath it. So, that was B-15 and then her softer side when she has her memory given back to her."

Speaking of the Time-Keepers, we finally got to meet the creators of the Sacred Timeline...or at least we thought we did. Loki and Sylvie are shocked to learn that the red-eyed guardians of reality are nothing but a trio of high-end animatronics (ones that could probably be taken out by a raging Nicolas Cage). Even before Sylvie manages to behead one of them, something definitely feels off with the Time-Keepers, which meant Holt could underscore the uncanny valley feeling in the score.

"When they walked in for their audience with the Time-Keepers, it was like this huge gravitas," she says. "But you look up and there’s something a bit wrong about them. I don’t know if you felt that or if you just totally believed. You were like, ‘Oh, this is so strange.’ I just felt like there was something a little bit off and musically, it was fun to play around with that."

Holt is only the second solo female composer to work on an MCU project, following in the footsteps of Captain Marvel's Pinar Toprak. Her involvement with Loki represents the studio's growing commitment to diversity, both in front of and behind the camera. This Friday will see the wide release of Black Widow, the first Marvel film to be helmed solely by a woman (Cate Shortland). Four months after that, Chloé Zhao's Eternals will introduce the MCU's first openly gay character into the MCU.

"I just feel like it’s an honor and a privilege to have had that chance to be the second woman to score a thing in the MCU and to be in the same league as those incredible composers like Mothersbaugh and Alan Silvestri. They're just legends," Holt says. "Another distinctive thing about [the show] is that all the heads of department are pretty much women. Marvel are showing themselves to be really progressive and supportive and encouraging. I applaud [them]. Whatever they’re doing seems to be working and people seem to be liking it as well, so that’s awesome."

Holt's score for Vol. 1 of Loki (aka Episodes 1-3) are now streaming on every music-based platform you could think of. Episodes 1-4 are available to watch on Disney+ for subscribers. Episode 5 (the show's penultimate installment) debuts on the platform this coming Wednesday, July 7.

Natalie isn't able to give up any plot spoilers for the next two episodes (no surprise there), but does tease "the use of a big choir" in one of them. "Episode 6, I’m excited for people to hear it," she concludes. "That’s all I can say."

#Natalie Holt #composer #Loki #OST

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shihalyfie · 3 years

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How to meet (or reunite with) your Digimon partner, according to 02

Here’s a post dedicated to those of you who are worried or sad about Kizuna’s premise, or how the way it ends is supposed to lead up to the 02 epilogue, and are thinking of that elephant-in-the-room question of “so then how do they get their partners back?” I’m not the Kizuna staff, so I can’t say anything for sure, but I can tell you that 02 gives us some interesting leads here!

You’re probably thinking “weren’t Kizuna and the problem of partnership dissolution made after 02? Isn’t this an Adventure movie? Why are you bringing 02 into this?” Ah, but you see, that might be true if you’re thinking of it on a technical plot level, but 02 as a series isn’t as thematically displaced from Kizuna as you might think, especially when the exact same real-life incident about a kid skipping grades, the one that literally was the foundation for 02′s creation to begin with, was brought back 20 years later for Menoa’s backstory. Certainly, a lot of the plot points introduced in Kizuna are new to it, but the themes and things it wants to say about self-acceptance and how to pursue happiness have very deep parallels to 02 -- which means that it’s not much of a stretch to think that some of the answers to the questions presented in Kizuna can be found in 02, too.

While it’s true that “getting your partner back from adulthood existential-crisis induced disappearance” is not a problem that necessarily presented itself in 02, remember that we’re dealing with a lot of theme parallels here -- a Digimon is part of one’s heart, and the central characters of both narratives (Ken and Menoa) had backstories that came from the same real-life story, one that warns that pressuring a kid into “adult” situations that they’re not emotionally prepared to handle will mess them up and cause them to lose their sense of self. The answer to the question of “how to get a partner back” in Kizuna was only pursued by the very scientifically-minded Menoa, who mashed keys on the keyboard and played around with egg data to get it to work, but this is Digimon, where these kinds of fateful meetings and evolutionary moments happen because of the heart, and everyone depicted lost their partners for reasons related to mentality and not science (remember, Menoa lost Morphomon at 14). Has Menoa done any real introspection in the last eight years? Probably not.

So, back in 02, when Ken did lose his sense of self, he eventually came back to his senses and decided to reclaim Wormmon. Thanks to how the plot worked, Wormmon merely “died” and was set to be reborn at the Village of Beginnings, but...

Just being reborn by the mechanics of the plot wouldn’t do it. Ken would never be able to find Wormmon again until he accepted something else, which is...

...himself. Everything good and bad about him, what he’d done in the past, how he has to move on with that, and how to move on with the person he actually is instead of the shell of the Kaiser. And with that, he is led to Wormmon, and is able to start the process of repairing their relationship.

So the point made here in 02 episode 23 is: one will only be able to be reunited with their partner if they can accept everything about themselves and become able to move on -- something that Menoa, who forced herself into the role of an “adult” in the hopes of getting more acceptance among her peers and eventually drowned herself in nostalgia, was most certainly not doing over the course of the movie.

So anyway, we get to 02 episode 50, and the parallel becomes even less subtle -- “a Digimon partner” is given a very direct correlation to “one’s own personal aspirations and dreams”. If you look back at the entire plot of 02 up to this point, with Ken and the Dark Seed children, all of them have been shoving aside “themselves” and “what they wanted to do” in an effort to please others -- to become well-behaved, studious, athletic, whatever society expected of them, instead of what they wanted to do.

So all of the kids admit all of the embarrassing, “undignified” dreams that they’d been holding back because they’d felt that they weren’t “allowed” to have them (following Daisuke’s shameless example of admitting that he’s fine with doing something as simple as running a ramen shop), and are encouraged to be a bit shameless about it and forget what society wants them to do, instead of what they want to do. The word “belief” is brought up a lot in this episode -- it’s not just having dreams, you also have to really, truly believe in your ability to make them happen and have the gusto to follow them without restraint.

And so, this strong resolution to have “belief” allows their partners to spontaneously manifest in front of them -- and it’s all but stated that said “dreams” and said partners are equivalent, and even implied that their partners had always existed in their hearts in some form, just not able to truly appear until they fully accepted themselves. Or, in other words, you will only be able to meet your partner when you embrace everything about yourself and what you want to do, regardless of what others think or what society expects of you, and have the will to pursue it.

(By the way, yes. Spontaneously manifest. Even if most of Adventure/02 had been defined by concrete mechanics for the most of it, in the end, this is still a narrative about the human heart before anything else.)

And guess who else learns this lesson by the end of the episode?

When Oikawa, who had been childishly (hmmm) chasing after shallow symbols of his past in order to get it back (hmmmmmm) because he considered himself too much of a “tainted adult” (hmmmm, sounds familiar) back in 02 episode 48, finally comes to realize what his actual mistake was and that he should have been more free about pursuing his dreams instead of accepting Chikara taking them away from him and Hiroki, Oikawa is finally able to reconnect with the partner he’d “lost” all of those years ago (hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm). So, again, you will only be able to reunite with your partner once you accept everything about yourself and what you should do from here on out.

(Hey, fun fact: Pipimon also spontaneously appeared in front of Oikawa the moment he accepted this. Although the exact specifics of the current “adulthood” issue were probably not conceived until Kizuna, “not being able to reach a partner that you once had due to cutting your own dreams off” has precedent!)

Moreover, Menoa’s backstory seems practically engineered to make sure that she never witnessed this nor learned this lesson -- she lost her partner “eight years ago”, in 2002, the exact same year the events of 02 took place. Assuming that she lost said partner in the middle of the year (her flashback seems to take place in spring or so, when university admissions results are issued), this would have prevented her from participating in the “world tour” battles around the world in 02 episodes 40-42 and engaging with Daisuke and friends, and particularly from joining in the final fight with BelialVamdemon and therefore witnessing what happened with the Dark Seed children and Oikawa. Which means that her ability to get this cynical about partnership dissolution being “inevitable” and that there’s no way to regain your hopes and dreams was enabled by the fact that she didn’t get to learn the lesson that the Tokyo Chosen Children did all those years ago...

Let’s look at the four who lost their partners over the course of Kizuna. Where were they at the time they lost their partners?

Menoa: Considering herself spurned by other people who “look at her weird” and desperate to “live on her own two feet” and “be useful to the world”, forced herself into the role of an “adult” by getting herself to skip grades into a university setting she was unprepared for, for the sake of recognition more than anything, and ended up living a very lonely life

Taichi: Isolated himself from others for the sake of living independently and “having his own life to live”, losing focus about anything he wanted to do, and allowing himself to get slowly disconnected from Agumon

Yamato: Developed a sense of detachment from his old hobbies and started living life for a “grace period” due to lack of real focus on what he wanted to do

Sora: Started forcing herself into “obligations” to succeed her mother in flower arrangement and from her Chosen Child duties, to the point she isolated herself from others and started losing control over herself

(Funny thing: a big part of 02′s story was about finding support in others and fostering your relationships, and here we are with four people who are slowly “isolating” themselves from others...)

It’s not about “becoming an adult” and losing your partner. It’s about shoving yourself into the societally-enforced standard of an adult and losing yourself in the process, and therefore losing your ability to see your partner.

And so, by the end of Kizuna, all four of them have lost their partners -- but we also see the characters we know and love starting to follow their way to what we know is the 02 epilogue, through some very unsubtle hint dropping (retroactive hints to the careers we’re already aware of, such as Taichi’s future in diplomacy). Which means that the eventual existence of the 02 epilogue is in itself the answer to the question, because the epilogue is: everyone found what they wanted to do and pursued it, and therefore everyone eventually figured out their personal aspirations and what they wanted to do, and were able to accept and pursue it, which was established earlier as the key to meeting your partner.

By the way! It’s also revealed in 02 episode 50 that the Digital World itself is at least partially formed on “the power to materialize emotions” (both positive and negative), which is the explanation for so many phenomena over both Adventure and 02 being related to the human heart, and presumably is also why Digimon partners can even exist to begin with (they’re literally supposed to be a part of the inner self, so the power of the Digital World is what “brings them out”). All four “disappearances” on record happened with all four of them in the real world, fixated on their obligations to society and attempting to turn themselves into model citizens, but all of the above “meetings” with partners in 02 -- and Menoa making true “contact” with Morphomon (inside Eosmon) for the first time since her disappearance -- also happened in the Digital World, the world of idealistic dreams, personal aspirations, and the materialization of people’s emotions.

#digimon #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #kizuna spoilers

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 3 years

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Take Your Father to Work Day (S2, E4)

As many people have said: This is one of the STRONGEST Prodigal Son episodes to date. It was incredible. My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below.

I reference Malcolm’s mental health and sexual violence in this one. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:16 - OMG. Destiny’s Child. Whoever is in charge of the soundtrack for this show needs a raise. Or an award. It’s SOO GOOD.

0:18 - How great is this montage of Martin’s prison life too? I mean the insane mundanity of it combined with “Survivor” and Michael Sheen’s incredible acting is some perfect mix between hilarious, captivating, and just brilliant.

1:06 - I feel so bad for Mr.David. He has to deal with Martin’s theatrics every day. Poor guy looks done in this episode.

1:35 - CAN HECTOR BECOME A BIGGER CHARACTER?! PLEASE. He’s hilarious and I love him. “Bro. You got your ass jumped at Sunday School.”

2:09 - Wait. What? Jerry’s getting released?!? I mean, I understand that he’s no longer in need of psychiatric care......but he still killed someone. Shouldn’t he just be getting transferred to a different prison?

2:25 - Does Jerry have a death wish?!?! He’s talking about being released in a room full of jealous murderers. Everyone looks sooooo pissed at Jerry.

2:54 - Martin is such a liar. However - Michael Sheen’s performance is astoundingly good. Like he shines brighter than usual in this episode.

3:17 - Poor Malcolm. “What’s going on?” Poor boy looks terrified.

3:23 - I love everything about this scene. I love how freaked out Malcolm is. I love you extra Jessica is. BUT HANS. Holy shit. I want Hans in every episode. He’s crazy in a good way and such a beautiful comedic relief.

3:30 - OMG. “Skinny milennial” might be the best thing anyone has ever called Malcolm. Someone please tell JT and Dani - hell, even Gil. They would tease him forever and I want to see it.

3:45 - 1) Malcolm is a terrible liar. 2) Jessica knows he’s lying. 3) This story about the wine is interesting. I wonder when and how Malcolm first told Jessica the story. Was it the same night? AND HOW DID ENDICOTT’S BODY END UP IN ESTONIA?!? I WANT MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THAT NIGHT.

3:54 - “Ainsley and I came back from the hospital after Gil’s stabbing.”....we never saw Ainsley at the hospital. Was she there and left before Malcolm got there? Or is this a plot hole I need to ignore?

4:05 - The way that the flashbacks of Endicott’s murder is spliced into this scene with Malcolm’s cover story is so perfectly executed. It’s so captivating and so so well done.

4:14 - Malcolm’s eyes look quite manic during the retelling of this story. Poor guy is desperate to have everyone believe the story. Poor guy probably wants to convince himself that the story is true.

4:16 - Wait. What? Ainsley has always been clumsy? .....interesting. I’ve seen no evidence of it but I’ll believe it for the sake of the plot.

4:23 - “At least one of you has a soul.” Holy shit. hahaha Hans is brutal. I love him so much. I also love how this line makes me, as a viewer, think “does that mean the writers want me to think that Ainsley doesn’t have a soul?” ...or more likely that she doesn’t feel emotion (which can be interpreted as a lack of a soul). That she’s a psychopath like Martin?

4:27 - OMG. Jessica loves Hans. He speaks to her dramatic rich woman soul. So entertaining.

4:30 - Poor. Malcolm. This boy is always in some sort of emotional turmoil. For once I wish he was happy (but also I love the emotional whump so if that could continue that would be great).

4:44 - “It’s so much more than that.” *chef’s kiss* comedic genius. I would watch a whole episode of Mr.David making fun of Martin. But can we all just take a minute to appreciate that Martin doesn’t seem bothered at all that Mr.David is basically verbally telling him that he sucks? It’s almost like Martin thinks they’re friends?

4:50 - Martin is strangely chill talking to Mr.David in this scene. It’s a little off-putting. He almost seems normal. He’s not putting on his usual theatrics or ranting about doctor stuff. It makes you wonder how many different sides of Martin that Mr.David has witnessed.

5:01 - “Oh no. Not Jerry.” LMAO. HOLY SHIT. Michael Sheen needs an Emmy. His delivery of that line might be the funniest thing this show has ever given us. hahahahaha

5:29 - Damn. This is not Gil’s month. First Jessica dumps him. Then he has to deal with Martin Whitly in the flesh. That plus the on-going drama of worrying about Malcolm’s mental health and the stress of reintegrating into work after a STAB WOUND.

5:31 - Gil’s face. hahahahaha he’s like, “Kill me. This can’t be happening. I hate everything. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.”

5:37 - “Yeah. Why’d you do it?” GIL. OMG. I’m so proud of Gil for dissing Martin to his face. BUT ALSO I worry that that’s going to give Martin more of a reason to hate Gil. I’m genuinely scared that the writers have Martin escaping as the pre-finale episode and Martin trying to kill Gil as the finale. Maybe Gil shows up trying to save Malcolm, AInsley, and Jessica (whom Martin is trying to abduct or hurt or something) idk I just feel like it’s going to be a likely subplot somewhere. I don’t want an attempt on Gil’s life to become a season finale tradition.

5:56 - Ew. “Gilly” That is a terrible nickname. I think I threw up a little.

6:00 - Damn. I love this scene. I could watch Martin and Gil pretending to be civil to each other for years. So entertaining.

6:29 - hahahahaha OMG. Gil’s reaction to Martin saying, “Thank you” PLUS Edrisa’s sudden excitement at realizing she’s 10 ft away from Malcolm’s Dad - a medical legend, is magical.

6:35 - Not gonna lie. When Edrisa said, “Ok. I’m gonna play it cool.” I had to pause my TV and walk away to calm down. I was experiencing a mixture of second hand embarrassment for Edrisa’s inevitable behaviour, excitement for what is to come, and fear that Martin would be a jerk to our precious Edrisa.

6:44 - Edrisa and Martin interacting was everything I’d hoped. It was strange, funny, sweet, and disturbing at the same time. The sweet, eccentric girl who attends cuddle parties is getting buddy-buddy with a literal serial killer. Hilarious. Even better is Gil’s background reactions as he desperately tries to keep Edrisa away from the psychopath. hahaha <3

7:12 - Gil is currently living in a nightmare. hahahahaha

7:47 - I love this. I love how Malcolm and Ainsley interact. Malcolm is such a good big brother. IDK something about these two adult siblings chilling on a couch and warning each other about Mom’s current rampage reminds me of myself and my younger brother. <3 Warms my cold dead heart. <3 PLUS has anyone else noticed that (as long as Ainsley isn’t hounding Malcolm about a story or airing out his mental health diagnoses like the bs from Q&A) Malcolm is extremely calm around Ainsley. Like maybe the calmest we’ve ever seen him?

8:20 - “Oh Ainsley, that’s a horrible idea.” This is adorable. Malcolm is totally acting like Ainsley’s surrogate dad. He’s trying so hard to protect her. <3

8:42 - There’s something about the way that Malcolm says, “Hey Gil” that makes my heart swell. Idk why. I just their father/son relationship. So much. And it makes me so happy to see Malcolm having semi-normal interactions with people in general.

8:48 - This. Is. The. Funniest. Episode. Of. Prodigal. Son. To. Date. Holy shit. The comical dread on Malcolm’s face. Martin’s glee on the phone. Gil’s general “done with life” body language. Ainsley’s utter joy at her luck. MALCOLM DRAINING THE ALKA-SELTZER. Ainsley saying “chug chug”. So perfect.

9:27 - Is it just me or has Jessica been showing way more concern for her children’s well-being this season? At first I thought it was because she was so happy with Gil....but that’s not a thing anymore (because Jessica is a MORON - seriously if this show gets cancelled before Gil and Jessica are living happily ever after I will riot) so now Idk.

10:02 - EDRISA WHY DID YOU NOT TELL GIL AND MALCOLM THAT THE SURGEON WAS ON THE PHONE?!? For a hot second, poor Malcolm looks like he thinks he’s hallucinating.

10:40 - Gil hanging up on Martin and then telling Edrisa that she needs to make new friends is everything. It’s vicious. Gil looks absolutely furious in this scene and I love it.

11:07 - Yo. Edrisa’s got some baggage. hahaha Malcolm looks soooo uncomfortable with her outburst.

11:18 - I would pay good money to watch Martin and Gil have a pissing match in front of Malcolm every episode. It’s amazing. They’re constantly trying to one-up each other. The tension is palatable. And someone Malcolm is the only one acting like a mature, working adult. Malcolm. My mentally unstable, skinny millennial.

11:34 - OH SHIT. Martin did not just bring Jessica into this. Oh SNAP. Does Martin know that Jessica dumped Gil?!?

11:56 - “I’m going to need a little more than that.” Damn. Malcolm looks pissed here. Pretty sure he hates that Martin just brought up Gil/Jessica. Malcolm’s bio-dad and real dad are fighting and it’s very clear that Malcolm is on Gil’s side.

12:17 - The look that Gil and Malcolm share here is perfect. I love it so much. You can see how annoyed they both are, how much they hate that they need Martin on this case, how much neither of them want Martin’s help. <3

12:23 - SOMEONE GIVE GIL A MEDAL. This man just grit his teeth, smiled, and let MARTIN WHITLY - the man who tried to KILL HIM work on his case. Why? Because Malcolm silently asked him to. Because Gil loves Malcolm and knows that it’s better for Martin to work with them officially than for Malcolm to work with Martin in secret. At least this way he can look out for Malcolm.

12:42 - “It’s taken Dr. Marsh years...” soooo was Dr. Marsh the name of the Asian doctor leading group therapy last season? Is this just a new actor, same character scenario? OR am I supposed to forget that Asian doctor existed last season?

13:04 - I can’t tell if Gil hates this whole “father-son in group therapy idea”. He looks kind of like he hates it (although he is looking at Martin in the shot). I’m inclined to think that Gil is worried. He doesn’t like how nice Martin is acting toward Malcolm. He doesn’t want Malcolm to get hurt again. BUT I also think there’s probably a part of Gil that thinks group therapy might be beneficial for Malcolm’s mental health? I mean it was only ever going to be terrible or amazing. Nothing in between.

13:12 - “They hate you don’t they?” GIL BRINGING THE FIRE. hahahaha angry Gil is really funny.

13:43 - OH HELL YES. More Hector. <3

13:46 - hahaha YES. Hector this is Malcolm - the son. You know, the one you had to role-play? hahaha I feel like Hector is a really cool dude (aside from the murder).

13:53 - Damn. Hector pays attention in group. He has a lot of info about Malcolm. I would’ve thought the other inmates would just tune Martin out when he starts his monologues.

13:59 - “He’s got a thing with hands?” hahahaha OMG. How did I never connect the hand thing. DOES Malcolm have a thing with hands? ....I kind of want that to be cannon?

14:00 - “You’re crazier than me.” Ouch. That must’ve hurt. Think about it - Malcolm is ridden with guilt about Endicott. He’s haunted by what he experienced as a kid and by what his father is. Malcolm believes he’s broken beyond repair. On some level Malcolm thinks he’s crazy. Now a literal killer just told him he’s crazy. That just affirms what Malcolm already believes about himself. :( PLUS right after Hector tells Malcolm that he’s crazy - the camera pans to Martin. MARTIN looks scared. Martin is losing control of the situation and he doesn’t like it. Martin knows on some level that he ruined Malcolm’s mental health. He almost looks a little guilty?

14:31 - FINALLY. We have a cannon occurrence of someone calling Malcolm “Mal” (or “Malc” if you’re going by HULU’s subtitles?). I hope the writers start having people call Malcolm by Mal/Malc more often.

14:35 - I can’t ignore it anymore. DID HECTOR HAVE THAT SCAR ON HIS FACE LAST SEASON?!? I DON’T REMEMBER IT.

14:38 - YES YES. Malcolm looks angry. I LOVE IT. Scream at him Malcolm! Give him hell!

15:03 - Yikes. Malcolm sounds like he’s about to cry here. :( My heart breaks for him. .....I wonder if this is the first time Martin has ever heard how much pain he caused Malcolm straight from Malcolm? Martin looks hella uncomfortable here.

15:25 - The inmates (literal murderers) empathizing with Malcolm is twisted, beautiful, and haunting. These guys understand how much it sucks to hang out with Martin. These guys can see the real pain in Malcolm’s expression. They know he isn’t lying. Part of me honestly wonders if one of them is going to try and hurt Martin for Malcolm. They looked pissed enough by the end of the conversation that I kind of believe they might.

16:00 - Malcolm is not acting here. For once he’s not projecting his problems onto potential suspects. He’s just venting to suspects. No pretence. I love it. BUT 100% of me wants to know where Gil is during this session. Is Gil listening? Is the session being recorded for evidence? There’s no way Gil (or Dani) wouldn’t confront Malcolm about this. Even if they just asked him if he’s okay.

16:10 - hahahaha look at Doctor Marsh. He’s like “ooookkkkkaaaayyyy. I’m a psychiatrist in a psychiatric facility for people who have committed violent crimes. BUT THIS IS THE NUTTIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN.”

16:12 - Look at the way Martin narrows his eyes. He’s trying to figure out if Malcolm is acting. He’s finally realizing that Malcolm truly hates what Martin subjected him to as a child. I honestly think this interaction will cause Martin to shift his “become a murderer like me” agenda from Malcolm to Ainsley. He’s finally seen the depth of Malcolm’s hatred and pain and knows deep down that Malcolm will never turn into a serial killer. But there’s still hope for Ainsley. That’s not to say that Martin won’t stop gaslighting Malcolm - he totally will.

17:10 - Martin has been at Claremont for 20 YEARS. How is it that he didn’t know a gold card existed?!?

17:21 - I honestly thought Marsh was going to get shanked. For the gold card. No other reason.

18:07 - It’s not supposed to be funny but Burt freaking out and punching Marsh is HYSTERICAL. hahahahaha

18:10 - That guard who pushed Malcolm out of the room and into a safe area? He’s in my good books. Every time I watch him push Malcolm to safety I want to give him a hug. Just for doing his job. What the hell is wrong with me?!?

18:18 - UGH. I hate that creepy, satisfied look that Martin gives Malcolm. It’s the same look he gave baby Malcolm in the pilot. It’s the “we’re the same” look and it clearly bothers Malcolm. :(

18:26 - Oh look. 18 minutes into the episode and we finally have a Dani appearance!! annnnnnd no mention of JT. I mean, I get it. He’s on paternity leave. I’m happy for him. BUT TWO EPISODES WITHOUT A JT APPEARANCE IS TORTURE. At least give me a throw away line about how happy JT is or about the baby!?? Honestly - it’s my biggest gripe with this episode.

18:56 - soooo either Dr. Marsh is a terrible psychiatrist OR you can’t “cure” murderers.

19:08 - The NYPD knows that Martin cured Jerry?!? HOW? Did Mr. David get Martin to admit to shocking him? Did Mr. David tell the police?!? I don’t remember Martin telling Malcolm. I specifically remember Malcolm saying, “I don’t want to know”

20:02 - Damn. I want Ainsley to go dark so badly. I want to see how badly it would destroy Malcolm and Jessica. I am evil.

20:52 - Malcolm’s burgundy jacket is gorgeous. That is all.

21:10 - Malcolm knows that Martin wants to escape. This is good. I love this.

21:55 - THERE’S A WOMENS WARD?!? REVOLUTIONARY INFORMATION. I THOUGHT THEY HAD A SEPARATE HOSPITAL.

22:00 - Oh wow. Finally - a perk to gender inequality.

22:52 - This Brightwell scene is so cute. I love watching Malcolm be excited about solving the crime. I love watching Dani gently tease him about how weird he is. I love watching them subtly flirt. Is Malcolm ready for another relationship - hell no. Do I think Dani has forgiven him - not totally. If they got together now it would end badly. But I do want them to be endgame.

23:11 - Andre is really suspicious throughout this whole scene. I’m convinced that if Dani and Malcolm weren’t too busy flirting Andre would’ve become a suspect really fast.

23:15 - Why do people get released from psychiatric prisons?!? This is a genuine question. I would’ve thought that everyone in Claremont has committed some seriously heinous crimes and only a very small portion of them are actually sick. The rest of them just pleaded insanity and had good lawyers. But even if they are/were sick. I don’t think the types of mental illnesses that drive people to murder and/or rape is something that can be cured. Sooo why are they getting released? I guess I just wonder because there’s this guy that’s been in my local news on and off for like 10+ years. He’s molested/raped many young women between the ages of about 16-25. He’s been arrested and released multiple times. He keeps getting released to different major cities in my province (usually a city with a big University) and reoffends within 6 months of being released. Most recently he was arrested last month after being released in October 2020. Clearly he’s going to keep reoffending - so why does he keep getting released? I guess I just don’t understand what the criteria are that allow an inmate who has committed that sort of crime to be released. Here’s a link to one of the more recent news stories if you’re interested: https://vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca/police-warn-of-high-risk-sex-offender-moving-to-victoria-1.5149264

23:23 - hahaha Andre is like, “Yo. This dude is freaky.”

24:15 - Look at how proud Malcolm is of his whole “lobster = murderer” profile. <3 So freaking precious. <3 and Dani looks so amused with him. <3

24:37 - Sooooo Mr. David isn’t listening to this conversation? He left the room?

24:40 - Jessica going to Martin for parenting help is terrifying. This is a woman in crisis.

25:20 - But Jessica was right to be paranoid in 97′. She wasn’t being cheated on romantically but her husband was murdering people.

25:24 - Martin is so selling his kids out here. He knows it. He doesn’t care. He’s having too much fun torturing Jessica. He’s rejoicing at the fact that he gets to play the “I turned the kids to the dark side” card.

26:40 - Poor Jessica. She looks suspicious and scared. Scared that she raised a killer even though she tried desperately to prevent that very behaviour.

26:56 - Damn. Martin is having a really good day. First he gets to annoy Gil Arroyo in the flesh. Then Edrisa talks medical with him. Then he gets to work with Malcolm. THEN his ex-wife calls him and he gets to toy with her mind. THEN his daughter, who has literally murdered someone comes to visit him. He is a proud Dad right here and he’s having an amazing day.

28:00 - Rhonda is terrifying. This girl has perfected the “I’m sweet and unthreatening” while lying and manipulating people. I swear she’s a teenage Queen B personality with a side of violence.

28:30 - I love how protective Malcolm is of Ainsley. Look how positively livid he is that Marin is talking to her. Malcolm is terrified that Martin is going to purposefully and successfully turn Ainsley into a serial killer. Malcolm doesn’t want to lose his sister. He doesn’t want Jessica to lose her ‘stable’ child.

29:09 - This scares me. This is the kind of Ainsley behaviour from last season that made me believe she is the Whitly child most like Martin. Her ruthlessness and lack of a conscience when it comes to looking for a news story is extremely upsetting.

30:11 - What the hell happened to Tevin? AND WATKINS?!? We got no closure on those guys. Are they dead? In prison? Is Tevin still in Claremont? Were they transferred to facilities outside of New York State?

30:28 - Malcolm yelling at Martin is perfect. *chef’s kiss* Finally this boy is being honest with his father and he isn’t holding back.

30:40 - Michael Sheen is an incredible actor. This is an Emmy worthy scene. By Sheen AND Payne.

30:48 - I love how you can see Mr. David just chilling. Sitting outside the door and staring across the hall during this scene. It’s just....can’t he hear the screaming?!? Is he just like, “I can’t take anymore of this today. Not my circus and not my monkeys.”

30:55 - Soooooo this is Martin showing his true colours. There’s definitely a part of Martin that hates Malcolm. I honestly wonder if that part of Martin actively tries/tried to emotionally torture Malcolm now and throughout his childhood.

31:00 - “And your mother. And you ruined HeR!!!”....does this mean Martin was trying to make Ainsley a serial killer? Maybe after the camping trip when he realized Malcolm was too “weak” to kill anyone? Is this Martin saying that Ainsley is ruined because she didn’t become a serial killer? Or that Ainsley is ruined because she killed Endicott?

31:05 - “But that’s not me.” hahaha OMG. Michael Sheen just flipped between two personalities like nobody’s business. Respect.

31:08 - Martin’s outburst hurt Malcolm. Badly. You can see it all over his face. Even now, when Malcolm is being strong and showing some backbone to Martin, Martin can wound Malcolm with a single phrase. :(

31:41 - soooo where has Gil been for the past 10 minutes of this episode?

32:02 - Sooooo did Andre kill Jerry for Rhonda? Or did he just know about the murder and keep quiet for Rhonda? Or is his oblivious to the fact that Rhonda killed Jerry? I’m honestly confused here.

32:20 - Holy shit. Rhonda is crazy. Andre is dead now. Right?

32:48 - Wait. Why did Andre have a gold card? Mr. David only has red. What kind of qualifications does a guard need to get a gold card vs blue, green, or red?!?!

32:55 - Claremont isn’t a punishment for Martin. Solitary is. Martin should live in solitary. He deserves to suffer for his crimes (and the ongoing torture of his son).

33:05 - How messed up is it that Mr. David’s job is to protect a serial killer? I don’t think I’m brave enough to do something like that. I also don’t know if I could do that for moral reasons.

33:14 - Damn. That elevator looks like it hasn’t been cleaned since it was installed. It’s sooo much nastier than the hallway outside of the elevator.

33:50 - Sooo does this mean Martin is eventually going to try and murder someone down here?

33:54 - HE CALLED FOR BACKUP <3 <3 <3 OUR BOY IS GROWING UP AND I’M SO PROUD. <3

35:40 - FINALLY SOME MALCOLM WHUMP. <3 THIS SEASON HAS BEEN LACKING IT.

36:00 - This is really interesting to me. I honestly wonder if Martin has some sort of split personality disorder (personality #1: murderous, selfish, psychopath; personality #2: loving, concerned father and lawful doctor). You can see how desperately he wants to escape. But also how much he loves his son. I honestly thought he was going to leave Malcolm to die.

36:06 - Ugh. Look at his whumped face. <3 <3 <3 ....one thing that I couldn’t stop thinking during all the tazing (which was amazing FYI, I’m not complaining) is this: in QxA (1x07) Mr. David says that he only has a single shot tazer. Why did Andre have a multi-shot tazer? Is this a gold card vs red card thing?

36:40 - WHY THE EFF DOES BACKUP NOT INCLUDE GIL?!?! I KNOW HE’S STILL IN THE BUILDING.

37:03 - MARTIN, IF YOU TOUCH A HAIR ON DANI’S HEAD I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU MYSELF. He honestly looks like he wants to murder her.

37:50 - Martin’s speech is not going to help Malcolm’s mental state. At all.

38:31 - No. No. No. Martin you do NOT get to talk to Dani on a first name basis. Look at how much Dani hates it.

38:35 - I love how soft Malcolm looks as Martin lifts him up. Look at how Malcolm gently leans into the touch. It breaks my heart. After 20 years Malcolm is still comforted by physical contact with his father. :(

38:37 - “Put your hands on me again Dr. Whitly, and I’ll blow your head off.” OH HELL YES. Dani is my hero. Iconic. Also - anyone else notice that Dani is chewing gum in this scene (I don’t think she’s chewed gum on camera since the pilot?) it makes her look like so much more of a badass in this scene.

38:55 - Oh look. The rest of the backup finally showed up. Where were these assholes 5 minutes ago when DANI WAS ALONE? AND WHERE IS GIL?!?!

39:00 - Malcolm thanking Dani is so so precious. And the fact that he’s clearly struggling to breathe and stay conscious is giving me life. ALSO Dani saying, “YOU’re welcome.”?!? *chef’s kiss* :) :) <3

39:30 - So Malcolm definitely knows that Martin almost left him to die so that Martin could escape.

39:33 - ......Ainsley is currently living with Jessica. Why is Ainsley not at the family dinner? We literally see her in the house in like 30 seconds.

39:35 - Malcolm in a polo shirt. Malcolm in a polo shirt. Why is it so attractive?!? He looks like a baby cinnamon roll? <3

39:51 - WHO THE EFF LET AINSLEY INTO THE MURDER BASEMENT?!? WHY AM I EXPECTED TO BELIEVE THAT JESSICA DIDN’T RE-SEAL IT AFTER WATKINS?!?!

40:15 - Jessica desperately tearing apart the living room is heartbreaking. :(

40:29 - Question: Did Jessica send her staff home before she tore apart the living room? Because I can just imagine two of them staring into the living room from the hall like, “She’s finally snapped. Should we call someone?”

41:00 - Jessica is the queen of drama. HOLY SHIT. This reveal was so extra and so perfect.

41:13 - “I killed him.” “You’re lying.” I love this interaction between Jessica and Malcolm. Malcolm has spent his whole life trying to convince people that he’s not a murderer. To protect Ainsley, his baby sister, he will say the words “I killed him”. Even though that is literally killing a part of Malcolm. Jessica knows it. I love that Jessica can see that Malcolm is lying. She’s not trying to convince herself that he’s innocent. She literally just accused him of murder. She’s scared. Because Malcolm just admitted to killing someone - his biggest fear - and it was a lie.

41:35 - Watching Bellamy Young’s facial expression as Jessica realizes that Ainsley killed Endicott is a thing of beauty. This woman needs an Emmy too. HELL, CAN WE GIVE THIS WHOLE EPISODE AN EMMY?!?!

42:00 - Poor Jessica. The guilt she must feel. She’s always thought that Malcolm was the one at risk of being a murderer. He’s a boy (they’re statistically more prone to violence than girls), he was older than Ainsley, he remembers terrible things, Malcolm had continued exposure to Martin throughout his childhood (Ainsley didn’t - I think?). But the child she neglected, the child she thought was safe, the child she thought remained free of Martin’s evil killed someone. It’s a plot-twist that just ripped Jessica’s heart into a million pieces.

42:30 - Yep. I promise you Malcolm has been psychoanalyzing Ainsley’s past behaviours since the moment she killed Endicott. He’s found traits common to serial killers and he’s terrified that she’ll become one if she remembers what it felt like to kill Endicott. He’s probably kicking himself for not noticing sooner. He’s probably questioning his ability as a profiler and as a big brother. AND the fact that MALCOLM has to protect Jessica AND Ainsley is heartbreaking. It’s way too big a burden. No wonder Malcolm’s mental health is on a downward spiral.

42:33 - This is the moment Jessica begins grieving for Ainsley. The fear, disbelief, and horror on her face. It’s torture that I can only describe as someone telling a mother that her daughter is dead. Because Ainsley is dead. The person Jessica believed Ainsley was - that little girl is dead. Because Jess just found out the truth.

42:55 - Jessica is now terrified of her own daughter. That is maybe the most upsetting thing this show has given us.

43:00 - I saw an interesting theory about how Ainsley is regressing back to her childhood (crawling into bed with Mom, moving back in with Mom) and I must say - that would be a really interesting way for this story to go. Ainsley regressing to a child-like state as she is convicted of murder. As a result she ends up in the women’s ward of Claremont because she can plead insanity.

This episode was amazing. Seriously, one of the best Prodigal Son episodes to date. Definitely the best of season 2 so far. If you’ve read this far - thanks for hanging out.

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lovely-v · 3 years

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LOTR (films) Review

So I finally watched the LOTR films (20 years later). I’m super excited to review these because I read the books very recently so I feel at least a little prepared to voice some opinions. Overall I loved the films, here’s a very long (but by no means exhaustive) compilation of my thoughts, which are of course, totally subjective:

(Warning: a lot of me saying “well, actually, in the book...”)

THINGS I LIKED

- Casting! not much to say here, I thought the casting was great. One of my favorite actors that I didn’t think i’d have a huge opinion on was David Wenham as Faramir. I was kinda ambivalent on him when I saw pictures but i thought he did a great job. he showed his quality.

- Music. so much has been said about the films on the music front. I can’t offer too much original insight but when a bit of the Shire theme started to play as Frodo tries to make his way up Mount Doom I cried a little.

- Boromir and Aragorn. I liked the scene where they interact a little in Rivendell. I also like how Aragorn saves Boromir in the Moria battle and gives him this little nod of friendship. I think the films did a great job portraying the dynamic they have where Aragorn is clearly suspicious of Boromir’s motivations but grows to respect him to the point where he doesn’t even blame Boromir for being corrupted by the ring because he understands that, at heart, Boromir is a good person.

- Sam and Frodo in Osgiliath. I expected to be kind of annoyed with the way this plot point played out (I knew ahead of time that it strayed from the book), but I actually liked it a lot. As I’ll say later, there’s some gripes I have with the way the films extremely play up the disagreements between Frodo and Sam, but I loved the scene where Frodo pulls the sword on Sam and then seems so defeated when he realizes what he’s done. I was pleasantly surprised by how emotional this scene made me. It’s admittedly A Lot, but it was done nicely, especially in conjunction with Sam’s “there’s good in this world” speech.

- Treatment of the ending. I almost think I should dislike the ending as it is in the movies, but my heart is soft and I like that they sugarcoated it a bit. I know the whole point of the Scouring of the Shire and Frodo’s depression conveys a lot about war and trauma and I think that is important, but after watching these things for twelve hours I just wanted Frodo & co. to be happy and I was kinda relieved that they cut the Scouring. Does that make me weak and perhaps bad at film analysis? yes. do I care? no. I was also very glad that the movies didn’t portray how depressed Sam was about losing Frodo in the end. Yes, he cries, but when he walks home to his family he seems happy and in the books that scene came off so much bleaker. I definitely liked the lighter tone.

THINGS I WAS NEUTRAL ON/DIDN’T LIKE

- Arwen. (Neutral) I don’t hate her, I don’t love her. I think the story she and Aragorn have is compelling and I 100% get why the filmmakers decided to add it to give her character more depth, but it felt misplaced at times. maybe it’s just because it was the only storyline I didn’t know in depth, but the scenes with the Arwen/Aragorn flashbacks felt a bit confusing and disorienting. Don’t have anything against Arwen as a character though, I think she’s pretty alright.

- Gimli. (Complicated thoughts) I want to start off by saying I don’t dislike Gimli. I like him a lot! I just think the movies did him a bit dirty. He had some good movie-exclusive moments, but I think his character really fell into this place of being the butt of too many jokes. Would have liked to see some more serious Gimli development, especially with his relationship to Legolas. Their friendship felt too much like subtext here, whereas it’s explored far more in the books.

- Two Towers Pacing. (Didn’t really like). The pacing of TTT was...weird. maybe I’m going into this with a closed mind because of the books, but it was odd to have the movie begin with Frodo and Sam and then have them only appear for a few rapid scenes after that. I think the fact that a WHOLE LOT of what happens to Frodo and Sam in TTT is moved to RotK is what makes it feel that way? In the books, Two Towers ends with Sam discovering that Frodo isn’t dead from Shelob’s sting, and I was surprised by how long it took the movies to get to that part. However, I will give the films a little leeway because I think they needed Frodo & Sam content for RotK, since most of what happens in that book is them walking through Mordor basically starving and dying. Doesn’t make for great cinema I guess, so they had to put the whole Shelob/Cirith Ungol saga into the final film. Still, I think there’s a weird lack of Frodo and Sam’s presence in TTT.

- The go home/missing bread arc. (Full of rage abt this one) yeah. so. my criticism of this is gonna sound pretty tired because people complain and complain about this part of RotK. but I’m gonna complain some more!! I don’t think the split between Frodo and Sam does anything for the plot. I really don’t. I guess it emphasizes the fact that Sam doesn’t understand how much Frodo is projecting onto Gollum, but it’s just. unnecessary angst? They had enough angst in the Osgiliath scene! Which I actually liked! And it simply doesn’t make a lot of sense for Frodo to suspect Sam of eating the bread when Sam had already offered Frodo his own food and made it clear that he would very much starve if it meant making sure Frodo could eat. But what I hate most about this scene is not that Frodo gets mad and tells Sam to go home. No. It’s that Sam actually... thinks about doing that? he actually? goes down the staircase? emotionally this is bad because Sam clearly cared enough about Frodo to follow him this far, to nearly drown for him, so why would he leave now. Practically this is bad because 1. how would Sam get out of Mordor alone and 2. where would he go. He turns around almost immediately, yes, but what was his plan. where was he going. why.

THINGS I LOVED

- For Frodo! This line, and every other shoutout to Frodo. In the books, they didn’t really actively talk about/worry about Frodo (and Sam) as much as they do in the movies. I like that they talk about Frodo more in the movies! I like that they’re thinking about him! I know it was implied that they were in the books, but I really like how it’s shown here. I think it gave a more complete picture of how much they all care about him on a personal level in addition to just needing him to succeed from a pragmatic standpoint.

- Merry and Pippin! I feel like Merry and Pippin were so well rounded in the films. I’ve heard criticism about them being turned into comic relief characters (which they always were a little bit) but it honestly didn’t feel that way to me. They had a bit of a rough start because the films didn’t make their motives for going with Frodo as deep as the books did, but I think that by TTT they were absolutely amazing characters in every scene. In RotK their respective arcs hit really well and the scene where Pippin is singing to Denethor? *chef’s kiss* poetic. beautiful. sad. idk man I just feel like I have such a newfound appreciation for Merry and Pippin.

- Parallels! people have pointed out the parallel of Frodo and Sam’s hands before (drowning scene/mount doom scene) and I love how the movie did that. Just stunning. Also! The moving of the Smeagol & Deagol scene to RotK surprised me because in the books it was like,,,at the beginning of Fellowship, but I think the placement of it in the movies really helped emphasize the similarities between Smeagol & Deagol and Frodo & Sam (and how much Frodo fears this similarity.) There were a lot of other well done parallels between storylines and a few bits of dialogue that were repeated with great timing, but I can’t remember all of them at the moment.

Edit: here’s one I remembered! when Frodo wakes up after being rescued and sees Gandalf, he says Gandalf’s name in a very similar tone to the one he used at the very beginning of Fellowship. It was a nice little subtle connection.

- I can’t carry it for you...alright this is self-indulgent. everyone knows I love this line. I’m just so glad it made it into the movie intact. Sean Astin’s delivery was amazing. I cheered. My mom cheered. It’s a raw line and it makes me feel secret emotions...like if shrimp colors were feelings. that line makes me feel shrimp feelings. idk i’m so tired i just watched twelve hours of movies this review is decreasing in quality by the minute but i’m about done for now anyway

Various silly afterthoughts

- I would have liked to see Sam kiss Frodo’s hands at least once. This happens 50 thousand times in the books, they could have given me one scene. one little extended edition scene. Please Peter Jackson I’m dyin’ out here

- They literally made Gollum so hateable. kinda the point yes, but I was so on board with Sam’s murderous rage. I know why Gollum’s a profoundly complex character, I know why Frodo pities him, I know why murder is bad, but I too would throw hands with that creature. also he literally body shamed Sam so much what was that skdjksdjksd. Sam is lovely. let him commit a small homicide.

- the scene where merry and pippin drink the tall boy juice (as someone once referred to it in the tags of one of my posts)... not accurate to the books (since they don’t ever drink it with the end goal of getting tall) but so accurate to life. if I found some water that made me taller than my friends? let me at it

- Frodo panicking when he falls into the spider webs. so real bestie. i felt just as panicked watching that. i am terrified of spiders and Elijah Wood did an amazing job doing exactly what i’d do in the situation. yelping a lot and falling down.

- I feel like it’s never stated that Sam’s a gardener (or at least that he’s specifically Frodo’s gardener) until he tells Faramir he is. Did I miss this. Or do they really never say. are you just meant to know. are you just meant to pick up gardener vibes from him.

This has been a very chaotic lotr movie review. Thanks for reading.

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