#i want to try and make these character sheet type edits for them but that's gonna take a long time + i have to go cc shopping first | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovelessrage · 2 months

Text

Loveless: A Loveless Review

[Plain Text: Loveless: A Loveless Review]

Trigger Warnings For: Discussion of sex, sex negativity, platonormativity, arophobic tropes, and anti-loveless rhetoric

Disclaimer/Disclosure: I couldn’t finish this book. This will factor heavily into the review, as it has to do with how some scenes, details, and the writing quality were just very hard to sit with and continue. I got about 50% through, so I didn’t just skim pages and get back to you on it.

You might guess I don’t think of this book highly if I had to put it down and stop reading. This would be correct. However, I have more in depth thoughts than that. If you like this book and don’t want to read negative things about it, that's fine, but I implore you to read it anyway. A lot of the problems in this book are present in a lot of creations I see and can be a valuable teaching lesson; loveless people aren’t out to ruin your fun because biases got questioned.

Alright. Enough disclaimers. Review under the cut.

The Bingo Card: Surprisingly, Not A Strikeout

People who have been following me for a while may remember I mentioned I went into reading this book with a bingo card in hand: Loveless and Tired Bingo, a sheet made by yours truly. I did not get Bingo with this book! I did, however, fill 17 spaces out of 25; it just didn’t happen to line up, not because the book passed with flying colors. We’ll return to the Bingo Card at the end of this post to see what it looked like. But, letting you know, that’s a rate of 68% of all squares ticked on Loveless and Tired Bingo. Not looking so hot.

Platonormativity, Envy, and The Loneliness Whirlpool

Let’s start with the meat of the post so nobody has to read it all if they just wanted my representation opinions. Other things like writing will be shuffled down for your convenience.

Edit: Past Scowl is a liar and a fraud and did not have maims glasses on, and misread the bingo card! I did get Bingo. Oops. Point still stands because the data is the same, I just gave this book a sliver more credit than it deserved for not getting one.

If this book had a full course meal, normativity would ironically be a key ingredient in every plate on the menu. Loveless has a platonormativity problem that confronts you from page 1, more realistically before that; the blurb!

[Text ID: From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone... since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection. /End ID]

I promise not all my complaints will be raving about one sentence, but this kinda encapsulates the entirety of my problem with Loveless: Georgia Warr is not supported in her own novel. Loveless is a deeply insecure book that many can relate to, but, really… does it alleviate that insecurity, or just cover it up? There’s an unspoken “but” to every part of Loveless’ philosophy about aspec people [especially aroaces], where they must have platonic love to make them whole, to “fix” and “redeem” their lacking attractions. This has always bothered me, and it’s not an uncommon opinion in the community, unfortunately.

Aroaces aren’t allowed to simply “be” – they must be more. They must be so platonically invested you forget they’re aroace, because they have all this other type of love to give the world. It’s reflective of a view on a community sourced from hurt and exclusion, of someone trying to rebuild their worth on a new forefront. It doesn’t make it less of what it is, though: it’s a “yes they’re valid, but” statement that serves as the backbone for far too many aspec-focused media.

Georgia is a deeply unsure character, and there’s nothing wrong with her being this way; she’s a fictional character made to represent a journey of acceptance, not a real person with the ability to inflict harm on other real people. She does reflect the author’s biases in many ways and many points on the same token, though, acting as a mouthpiece. This often comes in Georgia’s insistence her friendships are simply stronger than other relationship types, as well as her reflexive tendencies to judge the friendless.

One of my many, many hurdles in this book had to do with Rooney [someone save her and half the cast from this novel, please], when the group realizes she’s only a socialite, not really a long-term relationship holder, and the entire room devolves into silent judgment. Georgia does not defend her newfound friend, simply noting she thought differently of her. What about Rooney not having many friends changes her outgoing personality? It doesn’t. It’s simply the fact that Rooney being friendless makes her weird, as with many things Rooney is unfairly demonized for in this novel.

The emphasis on friends doesn’t end here, and persists through the entire novel, practically. It is the main focus, when it isn’t talking about Georgia’s disinterests, and her friend circle is very important to her. All of this is fine. What isn’t fine is the expectation and casual enforcement of friendship being all you have, so you must seize it; this book, even though I wouldn’t recommend it, is often given as The Book on being aroace, but I wouldn’t agree [you’re free to tell me I can’t have an opinion on that if I’m not aroace, but at least read on before deciding anything, alright, official hear me out warning]. One, not all aroaces are alloplatonic, and two, this:

Why Is This Book Written Like A Workplace Safety Seminar

It’s a very… cookie-cutter way to be aroace, and cookie cutter aroaces exist in real life! The rep should exist, no doubt, and shouldn’t be taken away from anyone. It’s not my problem per se that the book is semi-stereotypical. What my problem is has to do with something I see a lot.

The book falls into many of the pitfalls of what I’m dubbing “the pamphlet effect”: when a novel, show, etc. continuously needs to halt the plot to remind the audience this character is different, and explains this to you in a way that resembles an educational pamphlet at a pride event. Georgia Barr feels like an example given to explain a concept more than a person, and I feel bad for her because of how little this book engages with her actual character when it shines through. I understand the book is primarily centered on her journey through the spectrum, but very little is given to make Georgia’s experience unique outside of one scene off the top of my head. Her interests, hobbies, and unique feelings only seem to play a role when it comes time to be an author mouthpiece on slutshaming for fun and sport; only one scene, the forced kiss with Jason when rehearsing the play, really blends her life experiences with her aroace experiences.

Georgia feels designed to be an everywoman, and it was very disappointing to say the least. Very little of the book actually feels like I’m with her, or learning about her unique take on being aroace as a theatre fan or young adult figuring things out; it just feels like Georgia [and the reader] are being dragged through the Cliff’s Notes version of what it is to discover being aroace, rather than a look at how a character like this might feel differently than others on a fuller, whole scale. She’s a hole that can fit most shapes into it, which makes her broadly relatable, but not as fun or engaging to read about if you don’t fit precisely in the demographic Georgia is for; even if you do, is there much to engage with beyond “I’m like that too!”?

This isn’t just a Georgia problem, either, as many, many characters in this book are walking stereotypes or very flat. But, we’ll get into that later [if you want to get into it now, skip to Writing Problems, Oh My!].

The Fingering In The Room: Loveless’ Weird Ideas About Sex

Alright, if you’re sex repulsed and braved the storm to get some insight, this next paragraph is just complete confusion about this book’s sex scenes and talking about some of the details within. If you want to skip that, skip the next paragraph.

Why is everybody fingering each other? Fingering is fine and it feels good, but it is basically the only sexual act this book knows outside of making out with tongue. Someone having sex in Loveless? They better have clipped their nails because at least two are going in. It feels like a point of research that was skipped because it was unimportant, which. Pretty much, yes. But when you’re someone who pays very close attention to sex scenes because you’re of the opinion they can have artistic value, as well as conveying the author’s views on sexuality, I come away with “is fingering what Oseman thinks young adults do?”. Anyways. Something I noticed.

[Okay sex repulsed people, you’re good. No in depth descriptions beyond this point, just the word “sex”.]

I should’ve titled this section “In Defense of Rooney Bach” because oh this poor girl. Oh you are just there to be gawked at.

First off, let’s begin in a good place: this book always has to clarify it isn’t slutshaming its characters, followed by slutshaming its characters. Rooney is, for the uninitiated, very sexually active. Georgia’s envy often leads to a judgemental, close minded view of Rooney that often pins her sex life as “too much” – something many sexually active women get villainized for. It strikes me immediately how Rooney is constantly picked on for her sexuality as a woman in ways no male characters who aren’t asexual either are treated. None of the men she flirts with or spends time with are reprimanded or “held to account” by the book; Rooney alone is breaking the rules. Rooney’s descriptions are often bookended with a disclaimer that she isn’t being called a slut, she’s just like one, which… This is slutshaming. You can’t just say you aren’t doing it to not be doing it.

Rooney is also a victim of a very arophobic trope, and one that is also misogynistic: the Broken Woman. Why is Rooney sexually active? A rough breakup that broke her heart and makes her fear intimacy on account of potentially being wrong again. Sure, sex feels good, but explicit focus is made on the fact she is only not engaging with romance because she tried and it didn’t work. For a few chapters, admittedly I was hoping for a book where an aroace and aroallo can get past some differences and expand each other's worldviews; what I got was Georgia thinking pretty poorly of Rooney through unaddressed envy and sex negativity, and Rooney being made to only like hookups because she’s messed up. Because of course a woman could only enjoy that if she had a negative experience that forced her on the path!

Also, another scene I didn’t like was Georgia and Pip watching Rooney have sex while she is completely unaware of their presence? Jason leaves as soon as he notices, but the two of them watch before Pip makes a comment on how disgusting it is and Georgia agrees. I’m shocked at how little this is brought up as being violating or creepy.

If it was a better book, I would have expected it to result in some kind of furthered conversation about boundaries; it could've been a place for Georgia to start establishing what she likes and dislikes, starting with Rooney preferably keeping her out of her sex life when she’s able. Instead, this event gets brought up solely for jokes, and for a motivation for Pip to start hating Rooney, despite her insistence it wasn't because of the hookup and she isn’t slutshaming. Always a great sign when that needs to be clarified. This is a PSA for everyone: you should not need to clarify you aren’t trying to slutshame. If you feel the need to do so, you are probably being sex negative.

This book isn’t very fond of sexually active people, nor is it kind to characters that are. I can understand why being asexual and sex repulsed is representation people would want, but I also think there’s many, many ways to write it without making it an exercise in shame.

Ironically Kinda Arophobic In Some Parts

This is a short section of a thing I noticed, hated, and had as a contributing factor for my ending early: this book loves aphobic tropes. There’s already the trope against aroallos of not needing romance because of being broken into only liking sex, but also the problem with Pip and Rooney.

I’m a lesbian, for clarification, and I’m saying from experience that I hate the archetype of the angry, jealous lesbian. It’s everywhere. It’s in this book. Pip, upon even the idea of being rejected, starts berating and demeaning the girl who turned her down, even if she was only turned down in her head. The book passes it off as a lighthearted, funny story that Pip got so mad at an ex-crush she was suspended for throwing an apple at their head. Why do I bring this up?

Is it not ringing any bells that this is arophobic? That a character so hostile to romantic rejection is treated as a joke? Many, many aros, and queer people in general, have experienced violence for turning down someone. It’s a serious issue for aros and a real fear in rejecting someone. I found it incredibly hard to read and sit through as everybody passes off Pip’s tendencies to do this to the women that reject her as a silly, funny Pip moment and not a major issue for the aspec community. I don’t care if it’s enemies to lovers, because it doesn’t really feel good to read at all. The only tension is built off the back of something I’ve experienced in real life and many others have as well.

Lovelessness: The Insecurity Unaddressed

This book, despite its title, is obviously about a loving character. Many people might not see this as a problem: first off, loveless doesn’t always mean the same thing, and second, many aroaces express feeling loveless when coming to terms with their identity. Here’s my rebuttal.

One: Georgia fits no definitions of the label. She subscribes to none of the beliefs. She loves her friends actively and sees their relationship as more than romance or sex, as something greater to her.

Second, this is because anti-loveless rhetoric is everywhere and all over this book. Not once is it suggested Georgia could live as loveless, or truly be without love. In the end, she is surrounded by it, simply learning to accept friendship instead. The way her insecurity isn’t met with “you’re complete as you are”, and instead with “you can still be complete if you simply fill the void with friends”, is anti-loveless. Nobody is allowed to be whole on their own without a subplot where their doubts are reinforced or they’re explicitly made to be broken inside.

This is shockingly common, and always sad every time I see it. Many aspects fear being loveless, as if it is a curse or blight they must cleanse. This book is one example out of many, but it doesn’t make it less hurtful when a book that runs against everything your community stands for [self-acceptance and the optionality of love] bears your name regardless. It is a book for people who are afraid of loneliness, and it answers their insecurities with “you’re right. You do need other people. You just need to find a way to still find and have a life partner!”. This is damaging to loveless people, especially those questioning an aplatonic identity.

Again, it’s not unique to Loveless. But, it’s reflective of a broader issue of aplatonics who may be seeking community constantly being presented with “you ARE broken, but friendship can fix you!”, a “solution” many can’t use, and often leads to even more self-hatred.

That’s about it from the aspec side of things. If you got this far, congrats! The rest is opinions on the writing, and the bingo card finale. You can drop off here if that’s all you came for.

Writing Problems, Oh My!

This is veering into heavy personal opinion, so, I will remind you: I don’t usually like YA, but YA can be a very good genre! I do not think this book is a good representation of what good YA looks like.

The writing quality is one of the hardest things to get past, because of a major problem I observed: Oseman is better at comics. This isn’t so much a vilification as a recommendation that it would’ve been much better suited for a different type of media. This kind of “media dysphoria” is present in many of the ways the book operates: many scenes would flow perfectly well in a visual piece. Georgia’s inner monologue has a tendency to jump suddenly into scenes and interrupt the action in a way that would be perfectly natural as a narration bubble put over a drawing of the scene around her. There are entire pages of just… text messages that would be much better suited to a visual medium where you could make these dialogue bits look much more interesting through different shots, or drawing what the background would look like on a screen [The Girl from the Sea does this well, for example].

There’s also the fact I cannot place in my mind if I'm too old for this novel. A lot of the jokes boil down to “hah! Sex!” in a way that instantly alienates me from the writing. The jokes can be pretty juvenile and repetitive, and serve to be the equivalent of a comedian saying “eh? Get it? That was a joke.” six times.

This isn’t to mention the fact many of these characters are complete cardboard. Sorry. Jason does not need to exist. When he appears in a scene, he is ignored or completely leaves it on his own. He really only serves to drive Georgia’s character forward, rather than have one of his own. I found myself forgetting he was present in a scene at all until he spoke again and reminded me of his existence. The book would practically be unchanged if Georgia temporarily dated Pip and Jason was never a factor, plus or minus the Shakespeare Soc plot.

Many interesting characters suffer from severe Pamphlet Effect syndrome. Most of the girls do. In a better novel, they would be more in depth, but Loveless doesn’t really afford them this luxury. I need to take the girls very far away from this novel, okay. I need someone to write a version of Loveless where they have personalities. There’s crumbs there. Please, someone make a loaf of bread out of it. They deserve it.

Another thing, but minor: the breakneck pacing at some points followed by slow slogs of not a lot happening contributes to the reading issues. You may thing something would be dwelled on, just for it to go flying away into the sunset as 3 more things happen and then one problem lasts for 2 chapters. I found it very hard to catch up with Loveless, while other parts I felt like I was constantly waiting for it to catch up with me instead.

The Final Frontier: The Bingo Card Returns

And without further ado, the Loveless and Tired Bingo Card for Loveless by Alice Oseman! Completed with help from other readers braver than I.

[Image ID: A bingo card made from a basic template. It has no title, and all the text is black on a white background. Some squares are marked with a blue X, while others are marked with a red scribble. The marked squares are: “Not prioritizing friendship treated as freak behaviour”, “Jab at loveless sex thrown in”, “Something about not being like THOSE people”, “Universal type of love is laid on thick”, “The answer to all your problems is finding some pals”, “Found family ending”, “Platonic-romantic binary”, “Love still treated as universal [free]”, “Friendship is more wholesome or pure”, “Amatonormativity BAD [platonormativity is my bestie]”, “Platonic love being more powerful or sumn”, “You still love your friends though, right?”, “Friendship saves the day”, “Still thinks you need dedicated people to survive”, “Being alone treated as worst thing in the world”, and “Friendships are more stable than partnerships anyways”. The unmarked, blank squares are: “Something about "players" and pickup artists where no commitment is villainized”, “Character fears being loveless and is kinda aplphobic about it”, “Aspec double standards [one is normal, one is weird]”, “You still love your FAMILY, right???”, “QPRs mentioned by no nuance given to their diversity”, “Friendship forced upon a character against their will”, “Comment about some people being inhuman gets brushed past”, and “Simply prioritise your family instead!!” /End ID]

Would I recommend this book? Uh. No! Well. Yes, but not as a good book for aspecs. I’d recommend it solely to read it yourself and form your own opinions. But, no, I would not recommend it to any aspecs I know, especially not loveless ones, aplatonic ones, aroallos, or if they're an aroace looking for support.

Ah, Loveless, how you vexx me. Never again. See you in the next, much shorter post.

213 notes · View notes

thetravelingtyper · 1 month

Text

Our Shattered Heart (Part 2) (GN! 'Heart' Reader x Taskforce 141)

After a long night, you wake once again within the grasp of your team. How will you engage with growing realizations?

Warnings: Possible OOC of characters, kissing, learning how to write this type of content so bear with me.

Properly edited this time lmao

Masterlist, Part 1, Part 2.25, Part 2.50

“Nothing defines a man defines a man like a love that makes him soft,

And sentimental like a stranger in the park” Strawberry Wine by Noah Kahan.

You dream of nothing but spinning lights and music that night. Its low whispers that wake you late. You dig yourself further into the comfort of the sheets but a set of arms wraps around you.

“Stop moving hen.” Your eyes shoot open to find baby blues staring into yours. You sigh.

“Johnny why are you here.”

You try to move out of his grasp but he tucks your head into his neck and chuckles.

“Not letting you go again, not after last night.”

You huff and wiggle but he just rolls over pinning you down with his weight.

“Johnny you're heavy!” Your eyes peer out from his neck and you notice the smell of tea. An unmasked Simon sits at the side table with a book, legs spread out in sweatpants, and a light black shirt. You can see his tattoos, as if feeling your eyes, his meet yours.

“Mornin’ dove” His gruff voice causes Johnny to turn over so you're at the edge of the bed. You were still in your casual clothes while the Scot had on a black pullover and shorts. The domestic nature of the contact softened your heart. But despite last night, the change in their behaviors still upset you and you wiggle again. Getting the hint, Johnny lets you go with a soft huff and you roll out of bed, hopping up onto your feet.

Simon watches your eyes shoot between the two of them. He moves his hand to the drawer behind him pulling out a large pair of sweats and a shirt. His clothes, you notice then you were in his claimed room.

“You fell asleep last night Love.”

You are a little trepidatious, but the man stands, towering over you and setting his tea aside. You look up at him with large eyes, comfortable but visions of the past month and his biting comments want you to turn away. His eyes soften and he opens his arms.

“We need to talk, but I am sorry. It wasn’t right treating you that way Bird. You don’t have to forgive me now or ever but I will make it up to you, I promise.”

He almost whispers the last part and you see his shoulder tense for a moment. The apology was more than you had ever gotten from the man and you find yourself nodding before walking into his arms. You hear Johnny sit up, watching the two of you with an unreadable expression. Simon’s hug that follows is one of the safest things you swear you have ever felt. Flashes of the dance in your mind, but you look back at Johnny and meet his eyes. The spark in your heart answers your question, he just nods and smiles.

You let out a shaky sigh with the weight of the realization of what you had found. Safety and trust, that was a year ago but Love? Not of one man but two, but your mind flashes to Kyle and John, four? You almost quake in Simon's arms, legs feeling a little weak with what has transpired these past two years. How had you not realized? No, you did, deep down you think, but the switch up? Why? Simon's arms pull you tighter, one lowering to the small of your back.

His head reaches down to yours as he loosens his grasp. He sees the emotion spinning in your eyes, keen mind realizing.

“Johnny”

Simon's voice calls out and the Scot stands to join you two. The other man's arms wrap around you as well and you find yourself in one of the safest places on earth. Simon's head returns to yours as he and the Scot share a fond look. One of Simon's hands grasps one of Johnny's and squeezes. Johnny smiles at him before humming into your hair and pressing a kiss there.

“Guys I-”

“We know” they both speak at the same time. Simon murmurs your name and you look up to him smiling softly at you. Your brain stops short, the feelings bubbling in your chest. Fuck it. You shuffle in their arms to the Scot's complaint, but leaning on your tiptoes you reach a hand to Simon's face and press a kiss to his lips.

“Aye you're missing someone hen,” Simon grunts when you are yanked around to Johnny and he meets your lips in a heated kiss. He pulls you fully into his arms, one reaching to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss and the other swiping SImons hand in his. Johnny steps forward, pushing you against Simon’s chest in a searching kiss, seeking comfort in your lips and presence. He breaks away a moment later with dilated pupils.

Simon chuckles against your back,

“You happy Johnny?” Simon gives one final brush of his hand with yours and returns to his tea. Leaving you in Johnny’s arms again.

“Been meanin’ to do tha’ since he beat me to it.” He looks at Simon in a mock glare but the older man just raises his cup in a cheers motion. You flush and pull from his arms in embarrassment but Johnny keeps you entrapped, pulling his forehead down to yours with light laughter. There is joy in his eyes and the smirk softened into a smile.

“I'm sorry hen.” He offers it honestly and you brush your hand up and through his grown-out hair, then your palm traces his cheek. He leans into it pressing a kiss there.

“It’s ok Johnny, just give me a little time. It'll be ok.” You then press a kiss to the side of his mouth and with the tax paid you finally are released. You take Simon’s cloths and go into the bathroom to change. When you come out Simon pins you with a look that darkens seeing his clothes on you. They are big, but you knot the shirt, pulling it closer to your form. He sits up in the chair as Johnny watches with a smirk as Simon holds an arm out and you take his hand. He stands up and spins you into his arms just waving to silent music as Johnny watches with what you can now call love. You reach up to his scarred face as he angles his face down. Fingers skim soft skin with a slight blur of stubble. He was handsome to you. With his eyes clear of the eye black you can trace blond lashs.

“What’ is it lovie?”

“Nothin’ Si” you lean against his sturdy chest you can hear the hammering of his heart as he cradles you, hand soothing your hair and other hand tracing circles.

“Loves, Captain is back.”

Simon hums and releases you, allowing Johnny to take your hand and pull you towards the door. He opens it and steps out, pulling you with Simon following and closing the door to his room. In the living area you find Kyle in a tank top and joggers fresh from a run and shower.

Kyle sees your hand in Johnny’s and Simon's demeanor. His eyes then look to you and Simon's closeness and his cocky grin grows and he raises a brow at you. You roll your eyes before approaching him, dropping Johnny's hand a raising yours in an offering. Kyle takes it and holds your palms upwards, entangling your fingers, a shit-eating grin now fully on his face.

“Don’t get cocky Kyle.”

Simon takes his cup into the kitchen and Johnny follows like a puppy. Their voices dropping into murmurs. Kyle pulls your hand and pecks out his lips.

“Do I get a kiss to love?”

You smile at him fondly, Ever the cheeky gentleman. You do him one better. You yank the unexpecting man into a confident kiss. He chuffs, humor dancing in his eyes before they close, his hands come to either side of your head and neck and he pulls you into a frantic kiss. Pent up feelings come out in his lips as he turns you and backs you against the closest wall, His hand cradles your head as you pull apart for a breath.

John’s chuckle permeates the room and Johnny peeks his head out to see you between the wall and Kyle.

“Dam-”

“Can it sudz” You bring your hands up to Kyle's chest, muscles firm and warm. You press a shy peck to his jaw and he smiles, eyes lit like he just won the lottery. His face tilts back and his laughter draws Simon from the kitchen.

“John”

John sets a pair of bags with takeout on the table. He looks to Soap, Simon, and Kyle then you. As his blue eyes land on you they shine. He looks younger, mirth taking his features. There is a sense of family that suddenly fills your heart. You move past Kyle to your Captain. He looks at you with quiet comfort, studied eyes from many long nights working together. You shy away from his gaze.

“We were scared we almost lost you.”

It’s John that finally answers your twisting thoughts. You look back up to him.

“You’d have to do better than that Captain to take me.”

He just tilts his head. The past four months weighed on him. He’s lost a lot in his later years but what he’s built here was his life now. And you had squeezed your way into the tight-knit group with your, well he chuckles, heart and skills. You fought with Johnny, spent hours with Kyle talking into the night, had quiet drinks with Simon, and spent long nights helping him with work. You particularly won over Laswell, learning about John and getting along with his good friend. Acquiring you that fateful day had been one of the best decisions he ever made.

He and Kyle would talk about you on missions, though he would never admit it, despite the knowing looks between Johnny and Simon. Simon had approached him one night over an old cigar and a drink. The men had a long history, but it caught him a little off guard.

It was a night you and Gaz had been dragged into a pub by Soap for the game. Simon had sought him out with a bottle of gifted Kentucky Bourbon brought over from the States by you for him. They sat outside in the warmth of a fine evening.

Simon was blunt, a man of few words and fewer spoken truths.

“You like them.”

It is a simple utterance from the masked man. He stares out into the wilderness surrounding the base, home, for the month at least. Yet, John’s eyes catch Simon’s fingers dancing at the edge of the glass. He sets his glass down and puts a hand on Simon's shoulder. He offers the next piece of the puzzle in a simple name:

“MacTavish.” Simons answers one with his own.

“Garrick.”

Simon’s shoulders loosen under the weight of Price’s hand. They both understand each other in the moment, brown eyes meeting blue. They awaited the return of their sergeants, keeping each other quiet company.

“John?’ You set a hand on his arm and he takes it in his opposite hand.

“I’m sorry my dear.”

You pull his arms open and slot yourself within them. Head to his chest, his heart beats faster than Simon’s, and the scent of Lady Earl Gray and smoke permeates. You feel one of the others, Kyle. step forward.

His hand comes to rest on the small of your back while the other rests on John's arm. The support has you reaching a hand up to your captain's face and staring into his stormy eyes. The man who carried the world on his shoulders would offer it to you at a moment's notice and the new feelings shook up everything these past months. The fear of losing you, what it would do to not only him but the men he cared for.

“Johnathan”

He chuckles. And you decide to shoulder some of the burden.

“Eyes on me Captain?”

You ask with a fond smile,

“It's John to you dear.”

He then pulls a hand to your face and finally meets your lips. He cradles you like a precious object and deepens the kiss with an expertise that makes you melt. The brush of his beard tickles as you part. He offers you a smile before pulling you into another embrace. There is a sturdy strength in his arms as he pulls your head into his chest. A quiet takes the room as the men watch you take in the love being offered.

Finally, there was peace, a cutting of the tension that had built over the past months. Kyle and Johnny share a knowing smile while Simon just shakes his head a fond smile on his face. The moment between the team, the whole team. You all had been through hell together, each pair of men having formed their bonds before your arrival but you had just cemented the love between them.

But as the moment lingers there is a rumble in your stomach that has Johnny laughing.

“Aye captain let the poor sergeant eat.”

He nods and releases you as he digs through the bags pulling out 5 take-out containers. Kyle pulls you to the table, plopping you down next to him with a kiss on the side of your head as Johnny takes the other side. Simon and John take the ends of the table and you feel for the first time in a while, complete. As you all eat the room fills with laughter and conversation and you all begin to eat.

Johnny’s hand eventually drops to your knee as he talks, laughing with Kyle about something or another. You grasp his hand and squeeze it and he glances at you from the corner of his eye with a smile. The time passes well into the afternoon before John has to return to base.

---

“Am I good to return to missions?”

The question catches John in a sore spot as he is sorting gear into a duffle in Kyle’s room.

“Love, I-”

Simon lingers in the doorway suddenly before entering as you cross your arms and pin your captain with a stern look. Simon enters and he and John share a look.

“Let 'em back John, it's time.”

Price looks to his lieutenant, Simon's eyes a command of their own. John sighs and nods.

“No more surveillance. I caused all this mess in the first place. Alright sergeant, back to work for you soon,” he steps forward with a darkening look in his eyes.

“But no more breaking orders. You did the right thing but we cannot risk losing you.”

His voice is gruff but the look he gives you is smouldering. Of all the men, he had been the most guarded with you, due to the nature of the others and his position as leader. The team rose and fell by his lead and a switch up in order could change team dynamics. The authority sends a tingle down your spine and you nod. A smile slips onto your face and you are ecstatic to be finally able to work normally again.

“Yes, Captain.”

He watches your apparent excitement with a beam of pride.

“Good Love.” He murmurs and you feel a blush heat up your face at his tone. At his pride, a surge of want flows through you. He chuckles and turns to pick up his duffle bag to leave. He nods to Simon and moves to pass you up but you grab his hand.

“What is it dear?”

You wrap your arms around his neck, he smirks, setting the duffle bag to the side again and moving his hands to your waist.

“Not had enough Love?” He asks, head tilting in question.

You shake your head then seek out his lips in a fervent kiss. Price doesn't expect it but shortly leans into it with an exhale from his nose. His right hand traces from your waist to the small of your back as he pulls you against him, deepening the kiss. Months of pining come out, seeing the others make their moves, and being on the sidelines has John pushing for more. The reserve of the Captain was tested these past months. Not being able to go back despite Soap’s protesting has caused a rift between the two men. For all he knew you died but they had a mission to complete and Simon dragged Johnny away from the rubble with a grave stoicism. In his mind, flashes of your defiant smile, escaping reprimand and delivering intel, you were something else.

But it was a comment from Laswell that had brought upon the ‘babysitting’ as Kyle had called it:

It was a month into your recovery when Laswell had pulled Price aside.

“John,” she sets a file, your file on his desk, the man looks up with an inquisitive look.

“You’ve got bad news Kate.” It is not a question, he can read her face.

“Their old Captain wants Heart back after recovery.” She passes him a packet, one glance makes him frown. Due to your collection of intel, your old captain, the one who originally wanted you transferred, wanted you back. Apparently, serving with the 141 had made you valuable merchandise, the bastard.

Reading the missive something ugly turned in Price’s mind. Something possessive as he scoffed and tossed the form aside. Kate just smiled, expecting this exact reaction. She watched a storm pass over his eyes.

“The muppet has another thing coming if he thinks he is taking my Sergeant.”

It was all he offered before he handed the paper back, but Kate shook her head.

“I’m afraid it is not that simple,” she hands him an order, “it's coming from higher sources as well. They are not your soldier in paper terms.”

This statement has Price setting a fist down a glow in his eyes,

“I'll be damned if you think you are taking Heart from this team.”

Kate smirks,

“I figured you’d say that.” She then pulled another file from her bag,

“Here is something to keep Heart and the Boys busy after they recover. It’s not more than a month or so but it should buy us some time. Try to keep them out of the spotlight. Any more hero acts will get more people talking.”

With that, she leaves John with the plans for an ‘intelligence mission’ and leaves.

The boys, ever perceptive, found out somehow. Gaz caught on first, seeing his Captain tense every time he caught a glance at the forms. Simon figured out something was up as soon as Price commented on Heart working intel while on bed rest. His perceptive eyes met Price’s as he pulled him aside privately.

“What’s wrong John.” Simon’s mask comes off the moment the man closes the door to his office. John doesn't reply at first, instead choosing to drop himself into his seat and pull out the paperwork from its hidden position under the trash stack.

“See for yourself, Simon.” He hands the taller man the paperwork who then pages through it. A few minutes follow with silence and the occasional page turn as Simon reads. John can tell when he reaches the orders because there is a gruff, ‘bullshit’, under his breath as he turns back to Price.

“This won't stand,” Simon says like an order, Price hands him Laswell's mission next. A smirk rose to his face.

“Laswell is good.”

“She is the best. Prolong it, Simon, as long as you can. I will need time to work this mess out.”

Simon nods but before he leaves he sets a hand on John. No words were said but the two shared a look before Simon once again pulled his mask on and left.

Johnny learns from Simon the next night as the two go out for drinks.

“No” Johnny is seeing red, rage simmering behind a straight face, but there is tension as he nurses his glass of Scotch. Simon sets a steady hand on the man's knee but he is still tense.

“I know Johnny, we won’t lose them.”

“Not if I can help it.”

With that Johnny downed his drink and pulled himself closer to Simon.

“We’ll figure something out.”

John returns to the kiss with newfound vigor as you soften against him.

“Sweet thing”

It's from Simon as he sits down, watching the scene. John smiles breaking the kiss then dipping down your neck and pressing a final kiss there. He lingers for a moment longer before pulling back and releasing you.

“We’ll talk back at base. Got a problem that needs solving.”

You want to press him for more information but the tired look in his eyes silences you. You frown at the tension in his shoulders as he grabs his bag and heads out the door.

“Si?”

The man stands and approaches you, a hand moving to your face in comfort.

“It'll be alright Dove.”

You hear laughter in the main room then, Kyle, Johnny, and John’s voices resounding together in some comraderic harmony. You smile then head turning to the door as you cover Simon's hand with your own.

“Yes, I believe it will.”

---

Fin part two:

I am new to writing poly so I just went with what felt natural to me. This turned out to be a little Simon-centric, but I'm thinking of having one-shots with all of the boys. Any guidance/opinions are welcome!

Taglist: @ghostlythots, @00ops1e, @rafaelacallinybbay, @iloveslasher, @character---obsessed

157 notes · View notes

written-in-sunshine · 2 months

Text

Hello! I’m Key, and this is my commission sheet! All of the necessary information for commissioning me is here, and I’d appreciate it if you could take a look before shooting me a message! Here is my Ao3 For Reference!

GUIDELINES

Please read my Will Not Write section thoroughly. Just because something is on the list doesn’t mean that I dislike or don’t support it, but there are things on that list that I just don’t have enough interest in writing. That said, things on my Will Write list do not inherently mean that I support or like it.

Currently, the only fandoms listed that I will write for are Final Fantasy VII, and Hellaverse (Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss). This is because they are both hyperfixations for me and I am more capable of writing for them without issue.

I will allow up to three edits of less than 300 words before those incur a fee. If I interpreted your prompt wrong entirely, please let me know. If the confusion was on my part, no fee for a total rewrite will be incurred.

Please message me before filling out the form for a commission. I’d like to discuss particulars about certain topics and things and I’d like to approve the commission beforehand.

If given artistic freedom for a prompt, I will write how I naturally write the characters. I am willing to take direction for how you want characters to be written. I would prefer not to go against canon to the point of completely erasing a character’s identity. This does not count for certain kink scenarios (Bimbofication and other mind-altering things).

This is a proship and kink-friendly account. By proship, I mean that I will not harass others over their fictional tastes and I do not support harassing anyone for any reason. I will write things that will make you uncomfortable. I will write things that are dead dove: do not eat. I will write a whole host of things and if that upsets you, please find someone else to commission.

I predominantly write romance, smut, fluff, and angst, but can try my hand at other genres.

I do not mind aging characters up for smut, and I will write any manner of ship type from m/f, m/m/, f/f, to polyamory. Please keep in mind that a fee will incur for more than 4 characters in a ship per every 1k words. If your ship includes 6 people then I will require at least 1,500 words minimum to write them. Smut for that many will be over 2,000 words easily.

For prompts, I will accept up to five words, two sentences, or a small paragraph of what you would like for me to write. Please try to be as concise as possible.

I will not start your commission until the upfront $15 for the first 500 words is paid. Once that is paid, I will begin and you will only be charged for the rest once the fic is completely finished and edited. I tend to add 100+ words to things in the editing process, as a heads-up. Payment can be made via PayPal, Venmo, and CashApp.

Will Write List

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Most Kinks (PLEASE ask if you’re unsure), Smut, Top/Bottom Dynamics, Omegaverse, AUs, Crossovers, Domestic Fluff, Violence, Age Gap Ships, Any Sexualities, Intersex Characters, Homophobia/Transphobia/Fantasy Racism/Racism (IF THE CONTENT IS RELEVANT TO THE CHARACTER), Your OCs, My OCs, OC-Centric Fics, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Angst, Headcanon-Based Things, Canon Compliant Fic, Canon Divergent Fic, Most Ships, Sickfics, Whump

Will Not Write List

Defecation of ANY KIND, tickling, gas, eye trauma, OCs without proper information for me to work from

Ships Most Likely To Write - Final Fantasy VII

Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos

Biggs/Wedge

Hojo/Heidegger

Loz/Yazoo

Roche/Cloud

Roche/Reno

Rude/Reno

Sephiroth/Cloud Strife

Sephiroth/Genesis Rhapsodos

Tifa/Aerith

Tseng/Kadaj

Tseng/Reno

Tseng/Rufus Shinra

Zack Fair/Cloud Strife

Ships I Will Not Write - Final Fantasy VII

Cloud Strife/Aerith Gainsborough

Cloud Strife/Jessie

Cloud Strife/Tifa Lockheart

Sephiroth/Aerith Gainsborough

Tseng/Aerith Gainsborough

Ships Most Likely To Write - Hellaverse

Adam/Lucifer

Adam/Lute

Alastor/Angel Dust

Alastor/Angel Dust/Valentino

Alastor/Valentino

Alastor/Vox/Angel Dust/Valentino

Alastor/Vox/Valentino

Alessio/Crimson

Beelzebub/Ozzie

Chaz/Barbie

Fizzarolli/Ozzie

Mammon/Ozzie

Striker/Andrealphus

Travis/Angel Dust

Valentino/Angel Dust

Vox/Valentino

Vox/Valentino/Angel Dust

Vox/Velvette/Valentino

Zestial/Velvette

Ships I Will Not Write - Hellaverse

Alastor/Charlie

Alastor/Lucifer

Blitzø/Stolas

Blitzø/Verosika

Lute/Vaggie

Moxxie/Millie

Verosika/Barbie (MAY make an exception for this)

Fandoms I Will Write Crossovers With

Assassin's Creed

Catherine

Deadman Wonderland

Devil's Carnival

Dragon Age

The Evil Within

Fallout Universe

Final Fantasy VII

Final Fantasy X/X-2

Inception

Insidious

Invader Zim

Jeepers Creepers

Kick-Ass

Kingdom Hearts

Krampus

Left 4 Dead

Lollipop Chainsaw

Mad Max

Nightmare On Elm Street

The Quarry

Portal

Saw

Silent Hill

South Park

Team Fortress 2

Until Dawn

Feel free to ask about other fandoms, as well!

Please reblog to spread the word!

#Fanfic Commissions #Fanfiction Commissions #Fic Commissions #Hazbin Hotel Fanfic #Helluva Boss Fanfic #Hellaverse Fanfic #Final Fantasy Vii Fanfic #Writing Commissions #Hazbin Hotel Fanfic Commissions #Hazbin Hotel Fic Commissions #Helluva Boss Fanfic Commissions #Helluva Boss Fic Commissions #Final Fantasy VII Fanfic Commissions #Final Fantasy VII Fic Commissions #Final Fantasy 7 Fanfic #Final Fantasy 7 #Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fic

71 notes · View notes

wuntrum · 6 months

Note

do you have any tips for an artist who wants to start making one off comics? i really enjoy your artistic direction and style of story telling so i’m very interested in your thoughts on it

yes, definitely!!

-read lots of comics! and a variety of them, too--both ones in the sort of genre/style you'd like to make, but also ones in completely different genres, lengths, places of origin, traditionally/indie/digitally published, simple to experimental formatting, etc

-in relation to the last one, if a comic you read really speaks to you, take some time to study some page layouts from that comic! how do the panels vary from page to page? how much space is the text taking up? what sort of "shots" (to borrow from cinematic language lol) are they using? these shouldn't be fancy, just little thumbnails, but i find it really helps. here's a few i did from a guest in the house by emily carroll

-start smalllll. its really important to build up your stamina, just like with any new sort of skill. if you wanna make a graphic novel thats 200+ pages long, you should make some comics that are 1, 20, 50 pages long and see them through to the end before taking on a super big project.

-this is related to the last point, but i think keeping your cast of characters small at first can also help build up your comic stamina. signals was the first longer comic i made, so i specifically really wanted to focus on just jeanne (and occasionally her parents and peers when they showed up)

-character sheets are helpful, but i also think the easiest way to start getting your characters drawn consistently is through actually drawing the comic! there's also gonna be panels where they look "off" or whatever, and its literally fine, i promise

-through the smaller comics, experiment with how you go about writing your story! theres no right or wrong way to write/plan out a story so, it takes some trial and error to figure out what will work best with your work flow. for me, i've found success in making a timeline of events for the story -> loosely guessing how many pages i'll need/want per section of the story -> freewriting (trying not to edit too much, just dumping all the words out) -> thumbnailing/loose sketching/editing text (all sort of happens in the same step; i find i need the layouts in front of me to understand what i need/don't need from the text i wrote) -> tight sketching -> final . but, if that flow doesn't work for you, try something else! i know a lot of comics people find success in writing a script first, with indications of page and panel-by-panel breakdowns

-take shortcuts often and without guilt. its a lot of work to make a comic! theres just a lot of drawings involved, that most people aren't gonna look at for very long! i especially recommend for infrequent/difficult things, like buildings or crowds or cars or bookcases, using some sort of 3d asset/brush to make your life easier. if you can reuse a drawing and change the crop/expression, do it!

-use some sort of tracker to track your progress on how many pages you've sketched/inked/finished. even if you don't have an external deadline, i think it's still good to give yourself some sort of timeline to work on (i recommend setting "ideal" goals and "realistic" goals, especially if you're working/still in school/etc). for signals, i used google sheets, because you can set up columns to be attached to little circle charts, so as you check off your progress, you can really easily see how much you've done/how much you have left to do (as i type this i highkey forget how i did that before, with signals, so...you might need to do some sheets experimentation to actually do this lol. but there's probably other trackers you can use too)

-understanding comics and making comics by scott mccloud are both great books, highly recommend them (easy to get second hand/from your library/🏴‍☠️)

-lastly, haveee funnnnn

#asks #art ref #and ty for the kind words i appreciate it <3

146 notes · View notes

oftlunarialmoon · 5 months

Text

5 Imaginary Play Prompts for Age Regressors / Agere - How to Play Pretend (Agere)

Ciao lovelies! Today I have another Agere post for you all! Sorry that it’s been so long since the last one, but I think you will really like this! Have you ever had trouble deciding what to do with your toys when you’re regressed? Do you feel kind of annoyed because it’s hard to pick a game or prompt to go off for pretend play? Well, I’ve got 5 pretend-play prompts for age regressors to talk to you all about today! Let’s get into this and learn how to play pretend, agere edition!

Imaginative play is a super important and fun part of life. As children, imagination shapes your problem solving skills and provides tons of entertainment. But as we get older physically, even if we’re still children on the inside, getting that inspiration back can be very very tricky. Society is somewhat built to suppress imagination in “adults,” so it’s not uncommon to feel like you’ve “lost your imagination” as you get older. What I’ve found that helps me when I want to begin a session of imaginary play, is something to begin with, like a prompt! In this post, I’ve listed and described 5 of my favorite imaginary play prompts that can be used with toys, stuffies, or even just in journaling or drawing! These prompts are the ones I use most often and I enjoy the most. There’s no ranking here, just five ideas in a random order. I really hope these can help those of you who are looking for a place to start when you’re wanting to voluntarily regress!

Idea 1: Game Show!

This first idea is something I find super fun, and it’s easy to customize it to whatever you prefer. The idea is essentially, set up a game show for your stuffies, dolls, toys, etc, whatever you want to do! You can be the game show host, or choose a toy to be the host and announcer. When picking the contestants, try to give them fun back-stories to affect the game!

I like using this idea in various ways. Sometimes it’s similar to “Total Drama Island”. Sometimes I frame it as a task oriented game show like “Wheel of Fortune” or “Jeopardy!” Other times, I set it up like a cooking show, similar to things like “Great British Bake Off” or “Chopped”.

You can also have fun with this by imagining the prizes or even crafting them! Sometimes I like to draw and cut out prizes like huge fake checks (like the ones on TV), or award badges. Other times, I like using a treasure chest as a “grand cash prize!” Adding my own touch to these things is really enjoyable and adds to the experience overall.

My last tip for this prompt is, the more outlandish and wild you make the contestants, the more fun you’ll have! Don’t be afraid to make certain characters fall into reality tv tropes, those sort of things are totally fun in this type of game.

If you’ve used a prompt like this before, comment below how you set up your game show! I would totally love to hear more ideas.

Idea 2: Deserted Island / Shipwrecked

Okay, so this next idea is something I like doing with smaller toys, so I can give them a big island to explore. I usually pick like 3-5 “characters” who get stranded on a deserted island together and have to figure out survival. Sometimes I have items they brought with them, but not always. This is a fun idea if you like camping or outdoorsy type stuff. It can totally be played outside, but that’s not required.

A tip for playing this inside: use blankets/towels to add different “zones” of play. For example, I like to use my orange Umaru blanket for sand type things, and blue towels or sheets for the ocean. This is helpful if it’s harder for you to visualize environments like that.

Some other ways to add to this prompt, I suggest having a variety of character types to play with. Not everyone can be amazing at survival stuff, and everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Giving everyone a different special skill can really help with that too. It’s fun to flesh out team dynamics in that way! It’s kind of like one-person-DnD.

It’s perfectly okay to use pre-established stories too! Sometimes I like to act out scenes from Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous with this prompt, or even have similar concepts to Jurassic Park 3. (I’m a huge Jurassic Park/World nerd, I know, lol!) There’s nothing wrong with using existing stories as a starting point or as a “script” of sorts. Imagination comes in all forms, and using inspiration is perfectly normal!

If you’ve played something like this before during your regression, (or childhood!), please comment below, I’d really like to hear the types of stories you use with your toys as well! I’m a huge fan of sharing concepts and ideas as a community, so hearing from you is always my favorite thing, and totally makes my day!

Idea 3: Detectives

This is one of my fave tropes/concepts in media, when a show has an episode where they have to solve a mystery! It’s super fun to watch and even more fun to act out. The way I like to play this one is usually pretty simple, but then escalates over the storyline.

Usually, I first pick out what type of mystery is being solved. Murder Mysteries can be good (more on that in Idea 4,) but I also like heists, conspiracies, ancient magic, stuff like that! After picking the type of mystery, I like picking 2 characters to be a “watson and holmes” type duo. Sometimes I bring in more characters to work with them, like random experts that are relevant to the type of mystery, key witnesses, etc.

One of my absolute favorite things to do in this scenario is adding in obstacles/roadblocks, the more absurd, the better. Art museum was robbed of their most valuable statue? 2 detectives begin the case, but the art museum’s cameras were off that day. Taking witness statements? Only two people saw the suspects, but neither person can see well without glasses, and neither were wearing them. Got a clue leading to an address? Turns out to be an ambush trap, and our detectives find out that this mystery is only the beginning to something bigger! Things like that really add to the story, and you can make them as crazy as you want, because you are the author of the story, so you can just invent any solutions to them that you want. It’s such an enjoyable thing to do.

A tip for this prompt, I enjoy modeling my detective characters off of Sherlock Holmes and Watson from the books, which means getting to give them funny voices and make them interact in fun ways. But you can make your detectives have any personality you want! Are you more of a fan of CSI? You can make serious policemen! Prefer something like Supernatural? Make them slightly snarky and quippy like Sam and Dean! It’s your story, so the tone is 100% up to you!

Similar to this prompt, you could also use the next idea, which is….

Idea 4: “Among Us” Style Mystery / Murder Mystery

This is something I remember playing very often as a bio kid, and now, as well. Starting with about 8-10 characters, who are somehow trapped within a house, ship, etc. Someone is murdered and nobody knows who did it. People keep disappearing or dying until the suspect is found, and nobody leaves until they know who was guilty. You can set this up to be similar to something like “Clue,” or even more similar to “Among Us.”

A tip I like for this prompt: select a character who is not guilty, but everyone thinks they are. Have them be super suspicious and mysterious, only to dramatically reveal that they are innocent.

Another fun tip: if you want a horror movie style thing (think like slasher films), select a character to fill the “final girl” trope (doesn’t have to be female though). This is the last person left alive who must face off against the killer in a dramatic final battle.

I like adding plot twists to these, because it adds so much fun to the story. Here are some of the plot twists I like to add to these stories:

Someone has an evil twin, they are killed secretly and the twin replaces them until the very end.

Someone in the group is working with the killer.

Someone in the group witnesses a murder, but cannot speak and is in shock. They reveal the killer at the very end.

The first person to die was of natural causes, everyone after that was just everyone turning on eachother.

Nobody in the group is actually the killer, and the house is haunted, and a ghost is causing the deaths.

Nobody actually dies, it’s all an elaborate prank on the sole “survivor” and this isn’t revealed until the end.

Someone in the group disappears and is assumed dead, but reappears at the end to defeat the killer.

These sorts of stories are super fun to make overly-dramatic, and also super fun to give all the characters funny voices or weird reactions to events!

And now…. For the last prompt!

Idea 5: Exploring a New Planet

Maybe I’m a huge nerd, but I grew up enjoying Star Trek TNG and Voyager. My dad and I would watch whole seasons from DvD box sets we had while we ate flash boiled broccoli in the summer (because it was finally in-season!). My favorite characters were Data (from TNG), and Seven of Nine (from Voyager). A big part of my enjoyment of the show was when they would discover new planets or new life forms!

When I use this prompt, I typically use Star Trek as a basis for things like the space ship name, crew ranks, protocols, etc. I love having characters fight over the validity of the Prime Directive, and have intense moral debates. But that’s just me kind of being a dork. LOL.

To play this prompt, I suggest setting up an area you want to be the new planet. Laying down a blanket or towel in a fun color to be the surface of the planet, then use anything and everything to establish buildings, farms, etc. Make the planet anything you want!

Next, pick your explorers, I usually default to a group of 4-6. Select a mission leader, a science person, and if you want, a galactic ambassador!

Now, the explorers can visit the planet, being amazed by each new thing they see. You can have them make “audio logs” of their findings and take “readings” of new life forms! You can even have your explorers meet aliens and learn about new cultures and beliefs.

For extra fun, I like to have a scene or two with my explorers trying the new culture’s food. I use Monster High food props for this, mostly, but sometimes I also like to use playdough or floam to sculpt new foods for them.

You can make their adventure as perilous or as interesting as you want! Your explorers can encounter dangerous new weather patterns or plants, or they can have an enjoyable trip meeting new aliens, it’s totally up to you!

Thanks for all the support from you lovelies! We have a pretty awesome community, and it’s all because of you! Thank you for keeping OFT’s online spaces positive, uplifting, and supportive.

And, thank you again for reading! And most importantly, please remember to stay awesome and love yourself! You are amazing just as you are, and you deserve so much love and support. I hope you all give yourselves the love and kindness that you show others.

See you in my next post, video, or whatever comes next!

#agere #age regression #sfw littlespace #sfw agere #age regressor #sfw age regression #agereg #age dreaming #sfw little blog

74 notes · View notes

em-dash-press · 1 year

Text

Ways Emotions Impact Your Stories

Let’s talk about the weight and purpose of emotions in fiction.

Stories can feel poorly written and even shallow if the reader can’t emotionally connect with what the characters are experiencing. It’s the emotional equivalent of hearing someone talk in a conversation and then hearing them read out loud from a sheet of paper.

Those two types of vocal inflections and emotional engagement are very different. The same thing happens when a writer creates a story without effectively utilizing emotions to engage their reader and drive the plot.

While I was reflecting on the power of emotions in fiction, I thought about how they impact stories. You might find some writing/editing/plotting inspiration in these reminders:

Emotional payoff sometimes requires hints, foreshadowing and visible effects to build to the payoff.

Example: Your protagonist may need to experience breadcrumb doubts, tension-building fights, and conflicted feelings to lead to a breakup that’s a turning point in your plot.

Immediate repercussions happen due to emotions. Sometimes that’s physical (smiling when happy, crying when sad) and sometimes it’s between characters (falling in love after displays of kindness, a change in plans after something makes your protagonist panic about what they want for their future).

Like character foils, emotions can have contrasting feelings.

A YA protagonist may love their parental figure, but also hate them when the parental figure imposes restrictions on their independence. The contrasting emotional state drives their character growth, the relationship arc, and potentially how they understand relationships outside of their home.

Emotions have implications. People don’t feel things for no reason. The motives or reasons for emotions help your plot move forward.

Example: Your character is bored because they’re procrastinating a big decision or they’re cranky because they’re burnt out and don’t realize it yet.

Characters have certain emotional reactions based on their differing morals, which adds depth to your story (or potentially conflict).

One character might get mad that a student was suspended for showing up late due to oversleeping because they know it’s a side effect of the student’s new medication. Another character might be a strict rule-follower and say that the school had no choice. The conflict could drive them apart or make your reader feel a certain way about them that gets the reader closer to your story’s message.

Emotions are the hook of every story (and you may need to pick a specific one if you feel like your story doesn’t have a good hook).

Example: if the first chapter of The Hunger Games started with Katniss hanging out with a friend and going to sleep at the end of a standard day, it wouldn’t set an emotional stake. Instead, it grips the reader by demonstrating how family is all Katniss has (emotional on its own) and then rips the family apart at the reaping (the fear of losing a loved one is a universal emotion/experience). Readers instantly feel their hearts break for Katniss and want to find out what happens after her fear instigates a seeming act of self-sacrifice.

Revising or writing your work with one, two, or more of these ideas in mind could make your WIP the quality you’re trying to reach. A lack of emotional depth and purpose keeps your readers at arm’s length. Invite them in for an incredible read by writing emotions on purpose.

#writeblr #writing emotions #writing tips #writing advice #writers of tumblr #character development #plot development #writing a good hook

209 notes · View notes

smalltimidbean · 4 months

Text

Hi! I'm Ruben, and this is my art blog! I mostly post silly OCs and original stuff, or whatever I happen to be hyperfixated on at the time! Read on to find out more!

---

About

I am Ruben, but most people call me Bean, and I also go by Ben - so feel free to use any of those names, I'll respond to them all!

I'm 27, Non-Binary, and I use They/Them pronouns. I've been doing art pretty much all my life, and I do it somewhat professionally. I enjoy all types of art, but my mains are drawing and animation - but don't be surprised if there are some crafts or other medias here and there too!

I am autistic, and have severe social anxiety (among other disabilities), so please be patient with me if I take a while to respond, have an under/overreaction to something, or do not understand something right away! I also tend to forget things a lot, so you can always give me a reminder, if it has been a while - just please do not spam me!

I love getting asks about my characters, and AUs, even if I cannot answer them all - I have many askblogs for more specific characters/settings, which are linked below if you wanna check them out!

Please keep in mind that some of my characters are villainous, aggressive or just plain mean, and any actions or responses may be rude, violent or upsetting! When I respond in character, I am just playing a character, and their actions do not reflect me, and should not be taken personally!

DMs I am more hesitant about bc of the mentioned anxiety, so if you wish to DM me, please have a reason to be doing so - I don't tend to respond to just 'hi', and asking for free art will probably end up in a block. I also do not RP at all, so please do not ask.

I tend to vent a lot! I use art as a form of catharsis and to avoid hurting myself irl, so there might randomly be some upsetting content posted, but I do tag these with 'vent tag', and the appropriate CW tags - please see below for them

My art (and characters) is not for free use! So please do not repost, edit, trace my art, and please do not use it in videos/games, or for AI bots/databases. If you see my art somewhere, that I did not approve of, and regardless if it is credited or not, please let me know!

That being said, if you really want to use my art somewhere, please ask first! Usually the use as an icon, or in a silly meme, is fine - just ask first!

I don't do requests for things I am not interested in, and I probably will not draw your OC for free. I do take suggestions for things I am interested in, and might do the occasional art trade with mutuals/friends. I do also take commissions (but my sheet needs a big update, so prices may change soon).

I switch sonas around a lot! Bean is my main one (in a semi-realistic style and a more cartoonish one), but do not be surprised if I am sometimes depicted as a furry or a monster now and then.

These sonas are also both a representation of me, and characters in my stories. I try to define when I am 'in-character' and 'out-of-character', so please keep this in mind when commenting/asking.

Fanart of my characters and AUs is okay, and always appreciated! Please try to represent the characters(s) the best you can, and ask before doing making significant design changes (such as a 'Genderbend' or 'Species Swap' etc). Again, I am forgetful, so if I do not acknowledge it within a week or so, please give me a nudge!

I don't mind minors following, as most of my stuff is SFW, but please keep in mind that I am an adult, and may upload an occasional suggestive post or joke. These are also tagged as needed.

Good golly this is so long, but I think that's it for this part

---

Interests

I am currently mainly into Pizza Tower, and the OCs I have created for it, so that is mostly what you will see at the moment! - I have currently two AUs I am focused on, mainly the one where it's just my interpretation of the game (no name for this one yet), and then my secondary called 'Cheeseshop AU', with Brick the Rat as the protag, and species are swapped! (So Brick is human, Peppino and Gustavo are rats etc)

I also have a lot of original stories, characters and concepts, and will post those too! I tend to jump from idea to idea and back again, so do not mind if I am talking about one genre in one post, and then it completely changes the next post. (Although most are just slice-o-life with fantasy elements)

Other interests are: FNAF (previous hyperfixation, kinda comes and goes and may have occasional posts here), Bugsnax (also a previous hyperfixation, mainly when the game came out but not so much any more), Pokemon (not a hyperfixation, I just think they're neat), and... That's pretty much it, that I can think of! I don't tend to get into fandoms much, and I just focus on one thing for years haha

I am also not really looking for other things to be interested in, so please do not take it personally if I do not look at or get into anything suggested to me.

---

Content Warnings

As mentioned before, I vent a lot, but I also enjoy drawing some body horror or gore for fun, if the mood strikes! These are tagged simply as '[thing]' for blocking purposes, but please let me know if there are tags I have missed!

Common, will not be tagged: Mild Body Horror (things like extra eyes or limbs, or slightly melty people etc), Scars, Foul Language, Depictions of Panic Attacks/Meltdowns, Use of Caps and Glitched/Zalgo text

Uncommon, will be tagged: Eye Strain, Alcohol Use, Smoking (mostly regular cigarettes, but maybe weed too), Partial Nudity (bare chests mostly), Mildly Suggestive Jokes or Imagery, Emetophobia/Vomit, Blood, Violence, Moderate to Severe Body Horror (like excessive amounts of extra eyes or teeth, beings fused together etc), Guns, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Gore, Implied Cannibalism, Implied Death

Rare, will be tagged, and under a read-more cut: Very Suggestive Jokes or Imagery, On Screen Cannibalism, On Screen Death

---

Tags and Other Blogs/Links

My text post/ask tag is 'bean talks too much' and OC tags are 'OC: [OC's name]'. Other tags are for organisation, or just me talking to myself - and I do that a lot.

I am SmallTimidBean pretty much everywhere, although I mainly only post here, my characters to my Toyhou.se or ARPG stuff on my DeviantArt - and I have a Kofi, if you want to send a tip my way! (Not necessary, but very much appreciated if you do!)

I do have a Discord, but I am not comfortable giving it out unless we have interacted at least a few times! If you do find it by chance, please do not just send a friend request, I am unlikely to accept it for my own comfort.

My main blog, and the one that I follow from, is @smalltimidbean-reblogs - mainly just reblogs of art I like, animals or funny posts.

My currently active askblog is @ask-the-totally-real-peppino - an ask blog for Pep (my version of Fake Peppino from Pizza Tower)

I have several other askblogs, and just blogs in general, but I will put them under cut, as most are inactive or plain dead (I just keep them for archival sake, or the rare chance I may return to them)

@ask-the-music-man - Inactive FNAF askblog for Music Man, DJ Music Man and other FNAF characters, might return to it at some point but not right now

@we-bear-wicked-smiles - Inactive FNAF askblog for Nightmare and the other Nightmare animatronics, might also return to it but also not right now

@ask-lionel-ottaviani - Inactive askblog for a monster security guard named Lionel, will probably never return to it bc the group it was a part of disbanded, and I have bad memories with it - however Lionel and his friends show up here and an AU version where he is human feature on the Music Man blog

@bensnax - Inactive Bugsnax blog, was mostly reblogs, but I did intend to post my Grumpus characters there too (I think there's like one post of some of them) - probably will not return any time soon, as Bugsnax is not a major interest right now

@ask-a-genectric - Inactive Pokemon askblog for a Gengar/Manectric hybrid called Lexus, would like to return to it but unlikely

@the-bashful-skuntank - Inactive Pokemon askblog for a Skuntank named Fleur, would also like to return to it but unlikely

@thedailyzangoose - Previously a daily blog for the Pokemon Zangoose, but was revamped into an askblog for a troop of Zangoose characters, inactive and unlikely to return to it

@little-beast-bakery - A suggestion based blog to create little characters for people to adopt, never got off the ground and probably never will

I have a few other blogs that were OC specific askblogs, but I never posted to them, so no reason to link them. I did also have two NSFW blogs that are still technically up, but were nuked after the NSFW ban of 2018 - I am not going to link them for obvious reasons, but if you do somehow find them, keep it to yourself please!

Okay, this is very long, but I think that is it! Thank you for reading if you are down here!

#info #rules #pinned #about #reference

20 notes · View notes

stardusted-queerness · 1 year

Text

Writing Resources

I've been writing all my life, and I've been saving resources I use over the past couple of years. I'm gonna post them all here, so that others can use them because some of these are rather obscure.

Resource: Character Profile Desc: a 20 page PDF file that helps you better flesh out your character. PDF is editable directly. Very useful for any type of character.

Resource: Character Sheet Desc: a very long character sheet hosted on DeviantArt. I'm not sure if it's still being updated, but it is VERY extensive and covers everything from the basics to pet peeves. Best used for the main cast.

Resource: Name Generator Desc: a site that hosts a number of name generators. You add a few variables, and it gives you a list of names. Has everything from a "quick name" generator to a "plot generator". Very useful for a variety of things (not just writing).

Resource: Worldbuilding Prompts Desc: a site with writing prompts. Pretty good for getting the basis of your world

Resource: World Anvil Desc: a site to house all of your worldbuilding. Basically acts like a wiki, but for worlds. Has a premium version, but the free version works just fine (but you're limited to 2 worlds and ~175 articles for each world). Can be used for any type of writing: creative, screenplay, even ttrpgs like DnD.

Resource: Inkarnate Desc: Map-making site. Pretty cool, and has assets that allow creation of dungeon maps, world maps, and even scene maps. The free version is a bit meh on the assets, while the pro version ($5/month or $25/year) is a lot better. Additionally, the free version limits you to 10 maps, while with the pro version, you can create ~1,500 maps. If you use pro and then cancel your subscription, any maps that you created while using pro will be locked. You will not be able to edit them. I learned this the hard way.

Resource: Gallery of Faces Desc: pretty much like the "thispersondoesnotexist" site, just under a different name. AI-generated human photos. Can edit the settings to include a specific age group, a specific sex, etc. Really good for people who aren't good artists and need/like having a visual of their character.

Resource: Fantasy Calendars Desc: Allows you to make a completely new calendar. You can choose the names of the months, weekdays, everything. It's an absolutely wonderful tool and really helps if you don't want to use a modern calendar. This is the calendar I made myself. It's just an example of what you can do.

Resource: Word Combiner Desc: a tool to combine up to 4 words together. Shows just about any and every possibility. Found this useful when trying to make a name or a language.

Resource: Fantasy Language Generator Desc: another generator, but for languages instead. There's a few variables you can mess with, and it'll generate counterparts to the 30,000 most commonly used words in English. You can save the language as a file and load it on the site at a later time. Completely free.

Resource: Word Counter Desc: Just a word-counting site. Useful if you frequent Discord & use bots like WriterBot or Sprinto (writing sprint bots), as you only have 2 minutes after the sprint ends to submit word count.

Resource: Worldbuilding Checklist :) Desc: a very extensive worldbuilding checklist. Covers everything from races to the economy to the current fashion trends. Really awesome resource.

All of these have proven to be really useful to me, so I wanted to share these. I just hope these are useful to others ^_^

#writerblr #resources #useful #writing #writing resources #character sheet #writers on tumblr #writers #write #helpful #i really hope these help someone else

111 notes · View notes

mossypidder · 5 months

Text

If you click the names of the birds below, you will find photos of the actual birds I’m referring to; mostly provided because the second two are morphs

EDIT: So honestly. Contrary to final poll results and my initial lean toward the grosbeak, I think I might just go with the crow. The design’s grown on me and in the last week I’ve collected many bones and observed many local crows and found myself just quietly very drawn to them. Nothing’s set in stone, but. . . It feels more right than the grosbeak- there are still things that draw me to the latter, and I still really love them and might switch in the future, right now I relate more to crows I think.

Rose Breasted/Cutthroat Grosbeak (female)

Similarities (between myself and the bird) - small and chunky - eats mainly seeds, fruits, and nuts - elusive and relatively solitary aside from nesting season - very intricate, unique nest type - monogamous - take care of young for a month after fledging (which is longer than quite a few birds) - dwells mainly in deciduous forests - I honestly think I do look a bit like a grosbeak overall - there is limited information on them (which is obnoxious, but kinda goes with my aesthetic honestly)

Things I Like About Them - very pretty markings, especially on face which makes for fun character design - they were my favorite bird as a child and I would get so excited during the brief period that they would be at our feeder

Differences - females don’t sing as much as males - I am very much a mimic- I echo other people’s words as well as animal noises a lot, mostly without thinking, and grosbeaks do not mimic. The males learn songs from their fathers, but that’s different, and I’m not male anyway.

Black Billed Magpie (cinnamon)

Similarities - eat a lot of fruit and grain - they are skilled mimics - mate for life something I aspire to achieve one day - have only been seen in Michigan ten times in the last hundred years, so it fits the “elusive bird who’s sightings should be documented” narrative - parents allow their young to stay with them as long as needed, sometimes even years - males and females are both very vocal and sing, talk, and chatter quite often - wary of new things and will shy away from bright colors and flashing lights (yes, that includes shiny things) - many widely believed myths spread about them (such as tendencies to thievery, attraction to shiny objects, and hoarding things tho I am guilty of that last one)

Things I Like About Them - Gorgeous wings and tail (though rather plain facial markings which is sad) - they’re just nice, funky little guys and they were one of my favorites when I was younger as well

Differences - not a bird I’d really call chunky lol - they eat meat (mostly bugs) and meat is not my favorite honestly - while some do only stay in groups of two, many others have tribe of up to twelve

Common Crow (cinnamon)

Similarities - will bring people they like random bits of things such leaves, rocks, lost keys, and bones, as gifts - stops for roadkill (though I don’t eat it, I’m just there to steal feathers or check opossum pouches for potential surviving babies) - bones is good, we like bones - also talented at imitating human speech, other animals, and just random noises they find intriguing - mate for life - very family oriented and good at taking care of each other. They’ve even been known to adopt unrelated fledglings - stay in the nest up to forty days after hatching and often remain with a family group for two years, helping their parents look after younger siblings - males and females are very vocal - wants to eat rocks - scavengers - likes fruits, nuts, and seeds - seen as weird or gross by the majority - slow to trust humans, but is very loyal once they do - could be considered chunky - cinnamons tend to have blue or silver eyes

Things I Like About Them - they are just. very good. - wing markings of cinnamons are very interesting, and while I’d like more intricacies to work with for facial markings, they’re still good and simple

Differences - they are very social birds (but most of that social time is spent with their family, which is where most of mine is spent as well, so I’m not sure this is a true difference) - consumes a lot of meat (which, as stated, is not my favorite) - they are very common in Michigan and easy to spot almost anywhere

42 notes · View notes

somany-fandoms-solittle-time · 7 months

Text

“What’s so Special About the Moon?”

Jamil Viper x MC(insert character Mac)

(Ch. 1) – Ch. 2 – Ch. 3 – Ch. 4 – Next – Previous

This was originally supposed to be, like, a single chapter hurt/comfort before my OC (Mac) and Jamil as a song fic where they berate him and then sing a song referencing the moon… but then I had feelings and it’s becoming a more in depth character study between the two. Don’t worry! By the end of this mini series, there will be song lyrics and more sappiness… it’s just now that I’ve finished both Book 4 and Book 5, I need to reorganize the events and specific and whatnot. Some quick housekeeping as always: I tried to make Jamil to encompass both his dark & mysterious villain persona ALONG WITH him practically being a fucking child so that’s why I wrote him like *this* so yeah… I’m moving around the timeline so that Yuu/MC (aka Mac) has the weekend to GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER LOL, Mac is about 19-20 (haven’t decided yet) and uses mixed pronouns as a heads up, Ch. 2 has a 1st draft written put still needs to be typed up and edited. If you see a typo NO YOU DIDN’T!!! This one of my first times trying a different writing doc that isn’t Google (cuz fuck Google) and it’s a little weird to get used to and edit stuff. It’s beta-d in the sense that licking the spatula while your mom bakes cookies and claiming that you helped… literally only a few paragraphs were checked over y’all.

Quick shout-out to @krenenbaker and @twst-beam for inspiring my writing thus far (and sorry for taking so long to post this lol!)

I’ll be releasing some type of overview of my OC eventually, but take these snippets as they go while I fall back in love with writing. You’ll meet Mac in full when xey are good and ready… anyway, please enjoy Chapter 1 of my new fanfiction, “What’s So Special About the Moon?”

“Here. You can use this one,” Jamil directed towards the plain (compared to the rest of the dorm) laundry… mat? There were several industrial sized washer and dryers, a couple moderate-sized one’s that would fit a regular apartment complex, and a long wall designated area for hand washed items. Jamil was keeping the door prompt open with his hips; his slight frown of concentration and the flick of his Magic Pen were the only signs of the current spell he had going. Turning around, MC was slightly surprised by the massive piles of fabric that was being corralled in via multiple a massive sheet tied to multiple brooms. They still couldn’t fully grasp the concept (and power) of magic and seeing it so casually performed on a day-to-day basis was kinda daunting.

“Thanks again for letting us use the space along with showing me how to properly clean all these fancy duds and whatnot.” the Ramshackle Perfect awkwardly trailed off. Their focus was split between stealing peaks at the Scarabia Vice Warden, not wanting to bother the already busy Sophomore, and surveying over the dusty, damaged antique pieces the two stripped from the halls of the previously abandoned dorm. Rugs, carpets, curtains, furniture covers (in varying state of disrepair) dulled of their once rich and vibrant color. The patterns were a mix of stuffy academia and the quiet comfort of a grandparents cottage living room. Both extravagant, yet understated. It’s a style lost to time, but not quite a revived ancient aesthetic.

At this point MC was fully lost in thought; they desperately needed to clean, fix, organize and decorate the dorm in preparation to host so many guests. Even with his limited memories, they had a feeling they’d never hear the end of it from his parents.

“Don’t worry about it much.” Jamil said, interrupting their musings. “Honestly, I’m doing this as much for myself as I am helping you.

With a flick of his wrist, Jamil organized the seemingly random crumbled piles of fabric by condition, color and use. His movements while cleaning were quick, smart, and efficient-- all while patiently showing Mac which order to start in along with the best way to clean them.

“Ya’ know…” MC broke the relative quietness between the two workers, “Even with everything thing that happened over break, I understand why Kalim still trusts you; I almost can believe that you’re not that bad of a guy.” Jamil gave xem a startled (and exasperated) look, but they continued before he could respond: “I fail to see how helping the person who ruined your ‘world domination’ plans—”

“They were hardly World Domination level!” He quickly snapped. His embarrassment led to him tugging his hood further down his face, teeth slightly clenched, and dilated eyes as MC continued listing all the ways he’s “helped” them out.

The magic-less Perfect laughed to themselves the more conflicting emotions flew across Jamil’s face. Eventually those same emotions were compressed behind a cold, smooth mask. Limestone slabs and stiff mud brick walls were swiftly constructed between the two working-class students. Something about it didn’t sit right with Mac.

“Hey I’m not saying what you pulled wasn’t a dick move! But you’re also not the first overly-traumatized teen boy I’ve had to deal with… and between what you’ve said about yourself, plus thing’s I’ve heard and seen, I’m starting to think you’re not nearly as complicated as you think you are.” The longer they argued *to* him, the more Jamil’s mask began to crack; there were a few holes in his walls he didn’t account for. Xe’s a tad more observant than I remember, but weirdly just as persistent, Jamil internally rolled his eyes.

“I could still change my mind and send you back to deal with the Pomefiore Wrath(tm),” He mumbled while gracefully lugging the newly cleaned (and damp) furniture coverings into an empty drier. Despite his harsh threat, MC still remembered him assuring the other this laundry room was only ever used by him after Kalim’s parties.

The large machines and larger working space was specifically added for the servant to clean and repair any decor or Asim Family Treasures when Kalim’s recklessness caused a larger mess than usual. This meant that Mac and Grim (who was originally supposed to be helping… where the hell was he anyway?) could do as many loads needed without worry. On top of the borrowed space, the Housewarden himself had cheerily has assured them, his Oasis Maker would replace all the water used ten times over!

Mac’s thoughts were interrupted once again as Jamil relented, “I told you, I’m doing this to help me.” After receiving an unconvinced eyebrow raise, Jamil began to explain, “Kalim might’ve announced us as equals but I still have a job to do. If he got sick while spending Allah knows how long in a dusty, dirty, shabby condemned building like Ramshackle I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“It’s not nearly that bad anymore!” the sole-human resident of said dorm argued, but was quickly shut up with a tired gesture towards the untouched loads of laundry left to be done.

“On top of that,” Jamil smirked “Even a common peasant like myself wouldn’t sleep in a rundown garbage heap if I can help it.” His smirk slowly slide off his face from his face as the insulted Perfect almost ripped the handful of soapy doilies, that they were previously scrubbing by hand, as xey prepared a retaliation.

“OK, first of all! This whole Inferior-Superior shtick isn’t going to prove your point. If I’m being totally honest, I’m pretty used to the bratty, arrogant attitude of teenagers by now (even if I wasn’t Leona is a thousand times worse).” They turned their full body to face the 2nd year boy before continuing the assault. “Secondly, even just doing the bare minimum would’ve been fine, considering I’ve slowly been deep cleaning them place room by room. This is just last minute cleaning considering I wasn’t expected to host six extra people in two days.”

The shock of Mac’s care and attention to detail couldn’t win over Jamil’s newfound freedom to be right… and sassy while doing it. “Keep in mind you wouldn’t be the only one having to deal with Vil. His expectations are much higher than my personal standards—”

“Getting there!” MC interrupted again. “It’s not like Vil and whoever else couldn’t magic things better or get things done over at Pomefiore.” However, their fire started to die down with their obvious lack of understanding of magic. Not that Xeir level of intellect ever stopped them from talking out of their ass during debates… even if this wasn’t exactly shaping up to be anything like Debate Club back home.

“Not the point!” Mac built back their steam after thoughtlessly shaking off any internal distractions. “Third of all,” Jamil groaned not-so-quietly, “third of all, you didn’t have to show me how to do it. Nor did you have to continue helping me. There’s only so much I could pay you back in favors and it’s not like you’ll make back the time and energy spent. You’re obviously a bit of a piece of shit but I don’t totally blame…”

Jamil suddenly gave Mac his full attention. He smoothed any emotional tells from his face and readied himself to actively dissect what ever left xeir mouth and any messages in between the lines. The silence prompted Mac to drip extra sincerity as they begin to ramble without thinking.

“… I get why you did what you did. You’re not totally forgiven, but it’s not like I’ll hold a grudge over you forever. Whenever I joke about Winter Break I thought you knew it was just that: a joke.”

The two stared at one another for a few beats. Jamil betrayed nothing that he was thinking, but Mac could practically feel the exasperation flooding off of him in great waves. The disbelief pushing and pulling off of him, despite remaining stone cold to zeir admission. So, of course, they continued with slight for fever:

“Yeah, okay, you held us all prisoner, enslaved via hypnosis your entire dorm, and nearly killed multiple students. Twice.” Mac cringed at their own blunt statement, “… But why would you go as far as you did, if you didn’t care! What your parents, and more specifically your culture, put you through wasn’t fair—but you obviously still love and cherish them!”

At this, he seemed to get even more guarded. It felt patronizing to be hold how he supposedly felt or why he should feel a specific way. They hadn’t been there. They hadn’t grown up as a Viper in the Desert, constantly reminded by Kalim’s Mirage of wealth what he could never have. They didn’t know the FIRST thing about the Scalding Sands—!

“… How do you know anything about my parents? Did Kalim--?!” He choked out infuriated at the mere implication.

“Relax Viper! It’s all in the Secret of The Ooze™”

“What?”

“Never mind…”

The usual absurdity of MC’s references (much to xeir chagrin that no one seemed to understand them) Jamil allowed himself a shadow of a smirk. Right about now they’d drop what they were saying and instead empathize with him over terrible bosses. They’d both fall back into a familiar pattern of quiet understanding while making playful small talk; maybe Xe’d make a remark over how “hellish” the desert temperature is and moan about being “a poor Northern forced into the sun” before dragging them both off to grab an abominably sweet drink that Kalim would still put sugar in. Xe had always been could at mediating with the other students at NCR.

However, they didn’t drop it. They continued to push him… especially when they realized that he expected the conversation to have ended and started to relax. Xey pushed and pushed and pushed. Finally, they had circled back to him rebelling from his status.

“What? You think I’d be Happier staying a lowly servant?! I’d rather cut my own tongue out than remain bending to Kalim’s will for the rest of my days.” He huffed, still not stopping his assault on the pile of laundry in front of him.

A frustrated sigh left Mac as Xey tried to get their point across, “THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M SAYING!… Obviously, you don’t love being forced into child labor or having to pretend to be something you’re not, but that doesn’t mean you’re totally being honest with yourself either. Rebelling adolescents often do a complete 180 of who they once presented as in an extreme action to feel validated.”

Jamil scoffed in indignation at the impromptu therapy session he’d been forced into.

“Just because you were forced to lie sometimes as ‘Servant Jamil’ doesn’t mean those memories or feelings weren’t authentic!”

“My Childhood, my Pride, my ENTIRE LIFE was stolen from me before I could even open my eyes, Mac! Who could cherish that sort of future?”

“I’m not disputing that! I’m not trying, in any way, to imply that what you went through didn’t fucking suck. But just because you’ve started saying the quiet part out loud doesn’t mean you’re being totally honest either. Switching one mask for another just means nothing has changed but your ability to bitch about-it to the kid you literally Grew Up With, Jamil.” A tired resignation was growing in their eyes as they headed to the end of xeir rant.

It was clear MC was starting to speak in circles and xey weren’t going to be able to get through to them. A heavy weight sunk deep in their chest, slowly sliding to xeir stomach the more he misunderstood the magic-less student. I saw him drown in the depths of his own helplessness and self-pity, but even after he’s been pulled out it’s like he can’t help but dive back in for a swim. It was a suffocating thought while Mac watched as Jamil once again went stone-faced… Like what he was about to say would be his final shield before walking away. It’s a shame that the Ramshackle Resident had become too used to throwing bombs over walls and blowing verbal shields to smithereens after months of being stuck in Twisted Wonderland.

“I’m not sugarcoating or bowing down to anyone anymore. I won’t bite my tongue. I won’t put on a Happy Face to Kalim’s idiotic, half-thought out ideas again. I’m slowly gaining my freedom, something you clearly don’t understand. Just because you’re as blind as he is doesn’t mean anything! What more could you want from me?!” He hissed his final insult before finally stepping away from his station. Not leaving the room, he aggressively got himself a cup of water from one of the sink and gulped the unfiltered water down.

“Just because you’re not hiding your bitter, knee-jerk reaction from an unfair world doesn’t mean you aren’t still hiding away and lying about your more vulnerable emotions.” Mac whispered in an emotionless tone. “Cutting a part of your past off and pretending it was never there is doing yourself a disservice and lying to those that still care about you… And there sure-as-shit isn’t much that I hate more than a Fucking Liar.”

. . . . . .

The lacy doilies sat in a sudsy basin, left forgotten as the two students stood a mere paces from each other—both maintaining an uncomfortably intense eye contact. The sloshing thump of the washers and stirring hum of driers harmonizing were the only song to accompany the two’s stare down. A short hiccup as Mac took a drawn out breath was the only reaction between the two of them. The combined heat of Scarabia’s sun (barely past 10am) and the humidity of continued use of machinery didn’t help the suffocating air in the wide laundry room. Not to mention the loud, stifling silence to boot.

MC usually held back such honest commentary (not that they weren’t blunt) unless Xe deemed it necessary: think high stakes and a sense of urgent drama. But something about Jamil and Kalim’s situation reminded them of himself. The two’s intertwined dance of class, history, loyalty and betrayal, friendship and loss, and such overwhelming guilt reminded the dimension hoping stranger of home. Whatever that meant.

But this was no time to get lost in their own problems and Trauma’s. They’d went too far (again) and that means xey should be the bigger person (again) and deescalate the situation before he hated them (AGAIN). Which means, MC would be the one to break the silence and run away again.

“Ya’ know what? Grim’s probably burned the school down already. Don’t worry about,” Ze gestured blindly to the numerous stations they’d started, “this mess. I’ll rope my little Rat Gremlin and the Freshies into finishing this up. Hell, I could probably convince Rugs to pitch in for lunch or something. Bully the Music Club with helping in exchange of random sheet music I still remember from home.”

Their rambles became more spastic as they noticed Mr. Sugar, Spice and Not-So-Nice break out of his own trance and try to reply. “Seriously! Just enjoy the break… Not that it’s my place or responsibility to be butting in anyway. I will be back in, like, 10 minutes and from here-on-out minding my own damn business. Sorry. Whatever. See you sometime after Sunday, I guess?” Their entire monoluge Mac was slowly backing out of the room before turning around in xeir spot and just short of sprinting their way out of the dorm. A few passerby Scarabia students stopped to eavesdrop on xeir muttering… watch them leave.

Without getting a word in Jamil stood unmoving, watching the Ramshackle Perfect leave swifter than the desert wind shifting the dunes. Almost on auto-pilot, he simply left to go back to his room and do as he was told; enjoy his break. His day off. The day he could do what he liked and didn’t necessarily have to prioritize work. A day he spent working to help and assist the pitiful, magic-less loser that was dropped-kicked into another reality and forced to play nice with a University filled with overpowered and hormonal teenagers while having no way home… And in return was insulted, psychoanalyzed, and thrown aside before he could get a word in edgewise.

“Son of a STREET RAT!!!!!” It was clear he’d need a few hours to calm down before he could even think of trying to enjoy the rest of his Saturday off.

19 notes · View notes

slutforsnow · 9 months

Text

I swear im trying for chapter 6 of The Blue Note 😔 My fyp isnt giving more astv edits 🥲 anyways, to feed the twilight community im here to offer

✨️A JASPER X OC FIC✨️

A Cowboy's Dream

Character info:

Name: Eliana (el-e-anna) Smith

Nicknames: Eli (El-e), Ana, Silly, Star Girl

Insults: Accident, Freak, Weirdo, r-slur

Age: 17

Birthday: April 6th

Blood type: O-

Mental illness/disorder: Autism

Sexuality: Omnisexual

Gender: Female she/her

Backstory: Eliana was born in with a semi-normal family. She had a father, Michael, and a mother, Terra. When Eli had turned about 6 months old when Michael realized he was gay and wanted a divorce. Terra went along with it, as she was a closeted lesbian. She couldn't stand being in a marriage with a man, so once the divorce was finalized, Michael and Terra stayed friends but went to live on their lives. Terra kept Eliana, as Michael wasn't sure that traveling in a van would be safe for a 6 month old, and met her later wife -Vanessa- when Ana was 3. They got married on Eli's birthday, with her permission of course, and have given Eliana the world and more that a girl could ask for while living in Forks, Washington. Michael comes to visit Eliana for special days just whenever she wants to see him because Terra and Vanessa decided that it'd be good for her to have connection to her father, despite calling him "Uncle Mike." Eliana was diagnosed with autism at 7 years old after she had a meltdown about having to sleep on silk sheets in a hotel that the 3 women were staying at for a trip.

She's lived in Forks her entire life and doesn't mind the quietness or rain because at night, when the rain clears, she see the stars and often draws pictures out whatever shape(s) she sees in them.

START NOTE: IM AUTISTIC AND CAN RECLAIM THE R SLUR. I WILL AVOID USING IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE SO IT MAY ONLY POP UP 1 OR 2 TIMES. If people are uncomfortable, I'll remove the slur from the story entirely <3

First Meeting

"Do I not look Italian-?" Eli asked, laughing as Mike was in shock learning the autistic member of the group was Italian.

"No, you look white-!! Like, white white." Mike protested as Eliana walked with Bella to her truck.

"Bye bye, Mikey~!" She called as Bella shook her head and ruffled Eliana's dual colored hair.

"So, I'm guessing you and Mikey are close?" Bella questioned as Eliana moved closer to her to avoid bumping into the Cullens.

"Eehhhh, if you wanna call teasing each other like siblings close because you're both only children then yes...? Besides, we grew up neighbors, so we see each other every day and let me tell you- being surrounded by loud neurotypicals hurts like hell."

"Really?" Bella looked up at Eliana as the smaller female sat on the hood of the car. "I thought they were ok- a bit better than the people back in Arizona."

"Ehhh, depends on the person. Since I'm autistic, and I don't speak for every autistic person, I have sensory issues meaning I can't handle super loud crowds or friend groups. But they were my only friends, so I sucked it up as best as I could and dealt with it. You, however, aren't autistic and don't really mix with the loud crowd and tend to avoid them as much as possible," Eliana explained pulling a marker out of her patch-filled messenger bag and started to draw stars along her left arm.

"Oh.. that makes sense, yeah," Bella replied after a moment, watching Eliana draw on herself. Throughout the day, Bella noted that Eli would do this whenever a certain blonde was around. According to Jessica, Eliana has had a thing for one of the mysterious Cullens- Jasper. Yet, he was seemingly taken by Alice. It hurt Eliana, so she took to drawing on herself to avoiding staring at him and causing drama.

Yet, every so often, Jasper would catch himself staring at her and he looked away, attempting, and failing, to not be caught.

The reason why the pair did this was because Jasper saved her life exactly 3 years ago today.

"Are you serious dude? The Freak?" A student inquired, laughing his ass off as Eli walked passed, clutching her books and not noticing the 5 squares of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of her shirt.

"Yeah! I mean, besides, it's not like anyone's going to stand up for the retard and won't it be awesome to humiliate it in front of the whole school?" The student's friend spoke up, grinning and seeing Eliana walk to class faster to avoid being seen crying out of distress.

Later that day, Eli had forgotten all about the worry of being humiliated. She felt safe and at peace. Besides, she had gotten to talk to one of her more mysterious classmates, Rosalie, today and she promised to help Eli get a good hair-do that would make her feel happy.

Life felt perfect and completely worry-free... until one of her bullies kicked her in the back and caused her to trip down the stairs of the building and fall into the wet pavement.

She groaned, rolling onto her side and hugging her ribs as blood ran down her face from her nose and her head spun in dizziness. She was in so much pain that she didn't process a car come barreling down to her until she heard a large crash and a familiar voice yell.

Two sets of hands pulled her up, eliciting a cry of pain from the younger as pressure was put onto her right foot. One of the 'strangers' whom had helped her up, scooped her up bridal style as she began to fall in and out of consciousness.

After a few hours had gone by, Eliana woke up, groaning.

"Ah, I see you're awake, Eliana. You gave us a scare there," a gentle and friendly voice said earning a tiny smile from the teen.

"Hi, Dr. Carlisle..." She groaned out, putting a hand to her head and flinching in the process.

"Hi, dear," he greeted, sympathetically and gently running his hand through her long bright blonde hair. The doctor cared deeply for her and she loved him like he was her dad. "Can you tell me what happened this time?"

"I- uhmmm... I don't think I remember a lot of it..." She told him, honestly and shrugging a tad. Carlisle merely smiled reassuringly.

"It's alright, you don't have to try and remember all of it now, but would you be able to give me a gist of what happened?" He questioned, sitting in one of the rolly stools while checking her heartbeat.

"Uhmm... I think I tripped down the stairs... and then hit my head really hard, but I don't remember anything after that," She told him, trying to focus on the light he was using to check her eyes.

"You tripped? Eli... these injuries don't typically come from tripping down the stairs- accident prone or not," Carlisle started, looking at her and she moved her gaze to her hands. "Are you sure someone didn't kick you down the stairs or anything?"

Eliana tensed and stayed quiet. She didn't want the senior to get in trouble, but her silence did confirm that someone did kick her down the stairs.

"Eli..? Come on, you can't stay quiet for this, honey. Jasper and Rosalie already told Chief Swan everything that they know and he's waiting to talk to you downstairs, as he's wanting to know if your mothers will press charges against whomever hurt you and, apparently, tried to run you over."

"He's gonna kill me if I say anything though..." Eli buried her face into her knee that she could move and groaned audibly.

"But he also could be behind bars. Freedom from him, Eliana, wouldn't that be nice?" Ana paused for a moment and nodded a bit, earning a kind smile from Carlisle.

However, before Carlisle could continue, one of the Cullens entered the room with Eliana's stuff. This one must've been Jasper, due to the fancy shirt he wore and his wavy/curly blonde locks were pushed out of his face that as Rosalie had described.

"Ah, Jasper, here with Eliana's things. Thank you, son," He said as Jasper sat her bag by her shoes and nodded, then went to leave, not making eye contact with either.

"Hey, Jasper-?.. uhm... Thanks.. to you and the other person who helped," Eliana called. Jasper had froze at the door when she called his name. He'd never heard it said so... kindly and softly before. There was no sound of reassurance or manipulation behind it- just pure gratitude and the blonde could sense that from her, even without his power.

Partially turning to face her, he smiled at her kindly.

"You're welcome, ma'am. I'm just glad to see you're not bleedin too bad," He said to her, with his Southern accent coming out before leaving the room. This left Carlisle chuckling softly at his son for sneaking in a thank-you to her for not causing him to go feral and Eliana completely in love with him.

#jasper hale #major jasper whitlock #jasper whitlock hale #jasper whitlock #jasper twilight #jasper cullen #canon x oc #twilight fanfiction #twilight x oc #fanfiction #twilight saga #eventual smut #vampire boy #confederate soldier #major #parental carlisle

28 notes · View notes