#i should read over this again later to check for typos and stuff
Text
Clockwork
University AU - angst with a happy ending, best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers
Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Female Reader (ft. Yeonjun of TXT x Reader)
Synopsis: Being best friends with Jung Wooyoung was everything you could imagine. That is, until you catch feelings for him. Now, you navigate a heartbreak minus the rejection, and Wooyoung doesn’t seem to like it.
WC: 8.7k
Content/Warnings: mentions of scars, subtle hints of disassociation in the beginning, mentions of spiraling, one harassment scene. less serious stuff —> making out, somewhat possessive!Wooyoung(not toxic), Wooyoung gets jealous:>, kind of idiots to lovers. kind of slow burn. apologies for any typos I’m afraid I can’t re read this even one more time
the hollow feeling in your chest eats at you while you lay on your couch, snuggled in a blanket clad in one of Wooyoung’s soft grey hoodies. you pull the hood up over your head and stare at the chipped paint on the wall.
would you ever find someone who loved you enough? someone who would stick by you after seeing you at your worst; someone who would kiss the scars on your body and reassure you when you got insecure. someone who would look at you with overwhelming love and whisper I love you between kisses on your skin.
you wanted it to be Wooyoung. god, you wanted him to love you like that, but Wooyoung has only ever looked at you like his best friend. and you should be thankful for that, after all, you were so incredibly lucky to be close to Wooyoung, able to receive the intense amount of love and care he has to offer.
but you can’t help but feel selfish and wish for more.
a knock on your door pulls you from your spiraling. you allow yourself to stare into nothingness for a second longer before pulling yourself together and getting up to open the door.
the winter breeze feels crisp against your bare legs. you look up to see who’s visited you so late, and there he is; dressed in baggy jeans and a black tee shirt layered with a jacket much too large for him, there was Wooyoung. your Wooyoung.
well, in your dreams anyway.
you’re once again pulled out of your spiraling when he calls out to you with that irritatingly gentle, yet teasing voice of his, “Y/n? Are you gonna let me in?” and suddenly you’re back to reality.
the cold night air brushes against your skin again, goosebumps arising in their wake; a reminder of how cold Wooyoung must be.
you roll your eyes and smile, grabbing Wooyoung's arm and pulling him in. he lets you lock the door before engulfing you in a hug. you inhale softly at the smell of his subtle cologne and wrap your arms around his back, shutting your eyes and allowing yourself the selfishness of wanting him close. but he breaks the hug a moment later, looking at you with that maddening smile and you feel yourself relax in his presence.
“So, what’re we watching?” he asks lightly, pulling your arm towards the couch as if he lives there. and he might as well, with how often he sleeps over. he removes his jacket, throwing it on the couch before sitting down. you struggle to not ogle his arms, “Nothing, actually.”
you plop down on the couch next to him, an unfamiliar distance between the two of you. you hope he won’t notice, but Wooyoung looks at you with an unreadable expression as he observes the space.
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly, serious eyes boring into yours.
of course, he noticed immediately, you think fondly. “I’m just tired, honestly. but let’s watch something?” you smile, trying to change the subject.
Wooyoung lets it go, but only after squinting his eyes and moving closer to you. you sigh when his shoulder touches yours, craving the skinship yet hating yourself for it.
Wooyoung decides on a random movie, and while you were distracted throughout the film, your eyes immediately snap to his phone when a notification pops up. Wooyoung picks it up, swipes to open the message, and text back.
you force yourself not to check who he’s texting and speak casually, “What is it?”
he glances up at you before looking down and shutting his phone off, “Just Miyu, she’s asking if we can see each other tomorrow.”
“Oh, are you guys a thing then?” a forced smile makes its way to your face, though you ensure it looks genuine enough for Wooyoung to not notice.
he exhales, “Honestly? Not really. I like her and I think she’s really cute, but I’m not sure I see myself in a committed relationship with her.”
Wooyoung runs a hand through his two-toned hair, black strands falling over the blonde, “I’ll see how it goes though after a few dates.”
“Good luck!” you smile; a response you always gave whenever Wooyoung told you he was dating someone. because although it hurt, you wished him happiness, even if that meant he found it in someone else.
the rest of the night goes uneventful, but you can’t stop thinking about the fact that something needs to change. you don’t want to do it anymore; you don’t want to sit on the sidelines and watch your best friend fall in love with someone other than you.
but Wooyoung was never going to choose you, so perhaps it was time you found someone who would.
you needed to move on, you realize. not only for yourself, but so you could continue to be close with Wooyoung even after he ultimately finds another girl; someone who isn't you. with a goal in mind, you bite your lip and click the contact of the only person you could think of; Hongjoong.
-
"So what, i’m supposed to just ask for his number?" you sigh, already regretting asking for his help.
Hongjoong crosses his arms, "Yes, exactly that. Men love when women ask for their numbers, something about the assertiveness or some shit like that.” he shrugs.
you squint wearily at him, “Well, you don’t sound so convinced yourself, but I don’t really have anyone else to ask,”
you groan as you watch Hongjoong’s face stretch into a smirk. “Okay, asshole, when should I do it?”
“Do it today after your last class.” Hongjoong moves closer to you and whispers, “From what I know, Yeonjun’s class ends at the same time as yours. So when he’s leaving the building, you just need to be ready to catch him.”
you pout at his instructions, unsure how you’ll manage to do something like this. Hongjoong pats your head in comfort. “Okay… thank you Joongie, I’ll try my best.”
You move to wrap your arms around his waist, feeling his chest rumble with a laugh, “No need to thank me Y/nie, just let me know how it goes, and if he’s an ass to you I’ll beat him up.” he pulls back at you to wink and you push him away with a laugh. Well, what could possibly go wrong?
-
Everything is going wrong. you were supposed to be running out of class immediately to find Yeonjun, but someone accidentally ran into you, dumping their entire large caramel macchiato on you in the process.
and unlucky for you, you were wearing white; now you had to put off asking Yeonjun out and walk home with sticky skin and a stained shirt.
you ruffle your hands in your hair frustratedly as you exit the school building, regretting not bringing a hoodie that day. in your rushed walk towards your car, you fail to notice someone standing right in front of you.
you run straight into their chest.
“Oh my fucking-, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” you blurt out quickly, eyes filling up with tears in exhaustion as you look up to see Yeonjun.
Yeonjun.
No, No. No. this could not be happening.
you were supposed to ‘casually’ run into him with your hair neatly done and your outfit clean, but here you were with a huge stain on your chest and mascara tainting your tears.
your eyes move towards the floor as a tear falls, avoiding eye contact as you quickly wipe it away.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. nothing to apologize or get upset for,” he reassures, hands scrambling before landing on your shoulders.
he bends down to catch your eyes, “You okay? Doesn’t look like you’re having a very good day.”
and maybe it’s because you’re fed up with the events that occurred. not just the stupid sticky shirt but your stupid massive crush on your best friend that hasn’t gone away no matter how hard you try that you’re talking to the guy you were supposed to ask out to get over him and-
Yeonjun tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, staring at you in concern as you sniffle, trying to calm down and not have a total mental breakdown in front of someone you were not close with.
“Uh… I don’t exactly know what’s making you so sad, but if you need anything I’m here, even if we don’t know each other so well.” he smiles cutely, and your eyes dart to his full lips before glancing back at his eyes.
you don’t say anything, mind scattered and tired after the long day you’ve had. you wonder how you’re even functioning in this conversation with one of the hottest guys you’ve seen.
Yeonjun pouts once he realizes you are too tired to speak, before an idea comes to mind and his eyes light up. he grabs the hem of his hoodie and pulls it over his head, ruffling his hand through his hair as he hands it to you.
you don’t understand, this interaction is a lot more confusing than you initially thought it would be. but perhaps that was just your luck. your hands reach out unsure, so he pushes the hoodie in your arms firmly.
you clutch the lavender coloured fabric in your hands tightly, looking up at him in confusion. “What’s this for?”
he smiles again. you find you really like his smile. not as much as Wooyoungs though, an evil voice in your head reminds you. you frown as you ignore it.
“Well, I’m going to assume one of the things that’s got you so upset is about your shirt, so don’t worry about it, you can return the hoodie whenever you want,” he reassures kindly.
Your cheeks feel hot as you remember the humiliating stain. “Ah… I see. Thank you, you really didn’t have to do this for me.”
“It’s okay, honestly! Like I said, don’t worry about it.”
you bite your lip and nod, before remembering your mission to ask for his number. would it be too awkward now? would he even want to speak to you after this odd encounter? your mind races as you think of what to do next.
luckily, Yeonjun picks for you.
“I don’t really know if this is an appropriate time to ask, but could I by chance get your number?” he looks to the side, rubbing the back of his neck as a light blush coats his cheeks.
your face brightens at his question, and a soft laugh bubbles out of you at the sight of his blush.
“Yeah, sure, of course.”
he opens his phone and hands it to you. your fingers shake as you type your number in, but you hand it back to him with a steady smile.
“Thanks, I should get going, but I hope the rest of your day goes well.” he winks.
your eyebrows raise at his sudden confidence, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t find it attractive.
“Okay,” you smile, “Thank you for the hoodie, really it means a lot.”
he shakes his head back at you, “It was nothing, seriously. and I’ll text you later!”
you bow your head, agreeing as you watch him wave before jogging to his friends.
you clutch the hoodie in your hands tightly as you turn to walk to your car. you smile giddily,
mission accomplished.
-
it’s a Friday evening.
Wooyoung lays on your bed unceremoniously as he scrolls on his phone while you search your closet for an outfit to wear to the party tonight.
while normally you would’ve gone for something a little more comfortable, you decide to go for something more risky.
you did enjoy parties, but tonight you had someone’s attention to catch. someone who wasn’t the boy sitting on your bed.
“I don’t get why you’re putting so much thought into it. We go to parties all the time, what’s so different about this one?” Wooyoung nags, body laying on his side as he’s perched up on his hand, elbow digging into the mattress.
you huff, “Because! I just want to look prettier tonight, isn’t that a valid reason itself?”
Wooyoung looks at you suspiciously before sighing, “Fine, fine! I’ll find out the truth eventually y/nie,”
you roll your eyes at his tone before looking in the full-body mirror. you have a tight black skirt on paired with a matching fitted cropped shirt. underneath the skirt are sheer stockings, and you top it off with an oversized leather jacket.
your makeup and hair are already done, styled in your preferred way as you twirl in front of your mirror with a happy smile. this will surely catch Yeonjun's attention tonight, and your stomach swirls with joy at the thought.
a cough breaks you out of your stupor and you look up to find Wooyoung staring at you with wide eyes. his cheeks are tinted red as he licks his bottom lip.
“What? Does it look bad?” You look down self-consciously, unused to Wooyoung looking at you like that. you wonder if this outfit will catch more attention than you predicted.
he shakes his head and relaxes his face, “No, no. I was just surprised.”
he smirks, “You look hot.”
your lips part stupidity as you swiftly turn around to face the mirror again. “Shut up,” you mumble, ignoring the way your heart jumped at his words.
-
Loud music blares through your ears as you step foot into the party, eyes scanning the chaotic room for someone familiar. Wooyoung grabs your hand, lacing your fingers with his as he pulls you towards your mutual friends. you stare at your intertwined hands in awe before remembering that it meant nothing.
nothing to him at least.
your fingers slip from his grasp once you reach your friends and he looks at you in confusion. you smile reassuringly at him, however, and he turns back without noticing anything.
you bite your lip as you look around; you need to leave. not the party, but you need to leave from Wooyoung's side. you don’t belong there. you never have.
you tug at Wooyoung's arm to get his attention, prompting him to bend down as you speak into his ear, “I’m gonna go get a drink.”
“Okay! Just let me tell them and we can go.” he smiles dazzlingly, but you frown in response.
“No! Stay here, it’s okay! I’ll get it myself.”
the smile slowly slips from his face and his brows furrow. you look around anxiously, you don’t know why you feel so nervous. "Alright, just be careful and call me if you need anything, okay?” he grabs your arm, gazing at you seriously, and your stomach rolls at his protectiveness. you wish he wouldn’t be so perfect. but this was Wooyoung, so that was rather impossible.
you nod at him in response before leaving, letting out a breath when you were far enough.
you glance back at Wooyoung who is speaking animatedly, upset that you couldn’t enjoy yourself with him all because of your selfish feelings. you ignore the internal pull to be close and turn back around.
until you bump directly into someone’s chest.
“Fuck, what is wrong with me lately?” you murmur to yourself, rubbing your nose lightly before looking up.
“I’m so- Yeonjun?!”
the universe is not on your side it appears, as the Choi Yeonjun is in front of you looking at you with that cute boyish smile. you want to melt into a puddle of embarrassment then and there.
he chuckles at your expression, “So, is running into people always your thing? Or is that exclusive to me only?” his lips stretch into a grin.
“Seems to be exclusive to you, unfortunately,” you say teasingly, giggling at his offended look.
he puts a hand above his heart appearing wounded, “Unfortunately?! I will have you know it should be considered an honor to bump into me.”
“Considered an honor by who? Yourself?” you gloat, enjoying the flirty banter with a guy you found immensely attractive.
he clicks his tongue before giving up the facade and smiling genuinely. “I thought you said you’d text me when you got here.” he pouts at you; you have to force yourself to look away from his lips.
you and Yeonjun had been texting ever since your little run-in on campus. he knew you were coming here, hence the fact that you also put in more effort for your look today. you hadn’t exactly told Wooyoung about him either, unsure how your best friend would react to you randomly finding interest in dating.
“I just got here! I was going to text you once I got a drink, I promise.”
he nods sulkily, and you suddenly think he and Wooyoung would get along well. “Okay then, let’s go get you a drink?” he asks, grabbing your hand to lead you.
you stare at your hand in his as he leads you through the swarm of people. his is much larger than yours, warmth radiating off him so intensely you wish you could feel butterflies. but it is nothing in comparison to how you feel with your hand intertwined with Wooyoungs, and your heart dims at the realization.
the rest of the night goes by fast and enjoyable, and you find yourself enamoured with Yeonjun. but as much as you wish you liked him romantically, you find him amazing platonically at best.
you feel as though you are fighting a losing battle, and that using Yeonjun to get over Wooyoung would not only fail, but be selfish in case he caught feelings for you.
so when it gets a little too late, you make your way back to Wooyoung. Yeonjun is still next to you, and the two of you are engaging in a very serious conversation about whether or not water is wet when you feel someone grab your waist softly.
you jump at the feeling, unintentionally moving closer to Yeonjun until you turn around to find Wooyoung.
you relax at the sight of him, now gravitating to Wooyoung subconsciously, “Hi! Ready to go? I’m so tired and my head is pounding from the music.”
Wooyoung smiles at you, but it looks forced. “Yeah, yeah. Who’s this?” he tilts his head toward Yeonjun, and you blanch as you realize what kind of situation you put yourself in. but it shouldn’t go awry; the two didn’t know each other, and Wooyoung had no idea that you were interested in Yeonjun- if you could even call it that.
“This is Yeonjun, he goes to our University. He’s majoring in Dance actually, just like you!” you try unsure, glancing back to Yeonjun to assess his face.
he doesn’t look as standoffish as Wooyoung however, seeming rather amused as he eyes Wooyoung's hand on your waist.
“Hey, it’s nice to meet you. I hope I didn’t hog Y/n to myself all night.”
Wooyoung's hand tightens as he takes a step closer to you. you can smell the cologne on him and feel the heat coming from him on your back.
Wooyoung laughs, but it is far from genuine, “No, of course not. Y/n is her own person, she can hang out with whoever she wants, even if it’s with someone like you.”
your head whips to Wooyoung, face scandalized at his last words. you push at his chest, moving him away from Yeonjun, “Dude, not fucking cool.”
you turn back to Yeonjun, ignoring the way he is still staring at Wooyoung in mirth.
“I’m sorry, he’s had a long night and too much to drink, we should get going.” You slap your hand over Wooyoung's mouth when he moves to open it, giving a crooked smile to Yeonjun as Wooyoung fumbles beneath your hand.
Yeonjun glances at Wooyoung before his eyes land on you, “No worries, I get it. Just text me when you get home. I’ll see you on Monday?”
you nod quickly, “Yeah, of course, I’ll see you then!”
without another word, you grab Wooyoung's arm and drag him out of the house and into his car. once seated in the passenger seat, you open your hand and look at him expectantly.
he glances to your open palm, “What?”
“Keys.” you sigh, wanting this night to be over so you can lay in bed and go to sleep.
Wooyoung places the keys in your hand with a pout and you clutch them before standing up, shutting his door, and getting in the driver's seat.
“So, Yeonjun huh? Didn’t know you two were so close.” Wooyoung says, voice cutting the deafening silence. your hands tighten on the wheel as you focus on the road.
Wooyoung is still sulking, and while you have no idea why, you also have no interest in finding out. his behavior in front of Yeonjun was extremely uncalled for and disrespectful, and you would give him an earful had he not drank anything tonight. “C'mon, Y/nie, don’t ignore me. I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have talked to him like that but I just... got bad vibes from him.”
you roll your eyes at his words, though some of your anger diminishes at his apology. well, at least he knew why you were upset.
“Bad vibes? Why? You’ve spoken to him for a total of two minutes.”
Wooyoung deflates. it seems he knows he is being unreasonable. “I dunno, okay? But listen, I’m allowed to be upset too. You haven’t told me anything about your relationship with Yeonjun, and I'm your best friend.”
you glance at his crestfallen face before sighing, “You’re right, I’m sorry too. I should have told you about him, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“It’s okay I guess, but I’ll only forgive you on one condition.”
you narrow your eyes at him before looking back to the road, “And what would that be?”
Wooyoung grins mischievously, “You tell me all about it. When did you first meet, how did you first meet, how often do you text? And most importantly, how it went tonight with him!” he rambles excitedly, and you hate that he seems so happy at the prospect of you speaking to a guy.
and so you begin to tell Wooyoung the events leading up to the party, including the details such as your stained shirt, the hoodie, the fact that the two of you have been texting for quite a while, and why you dressed up tonight.
he nods excitedly at you as you go through the events while driving, but you fail to notice the dimness in his eyes and how his smile seems a little more strained as you go on a tangent about Yeonjun's cute lips.
you arrive home soon after, dropping Wooyoung off and parking his car before walking to your apartment. the two of you lived quite close.
once in bed, you recount the events that occurred at the party, stomach lurching when you remember Wooyoung's possessive hand on you.
but then the butterflies morph into moths, an ugly wretched feeling of yearning swallows you whole, and you find yourself spiraling at the realization that you are zero steps closer to getting over Jung Wooyoung. you have merely been going in circles from the start.
Wooyoung on the other hand, lays in bed with a permanent frown. he doesn’t understand the irritation he feels towards Yeonjun, and he certainly doesn’t understand why he felt threatened by seeing you two together. you were his best friend, and that’s all you’ve ever been to him.
but as he stares at his ceiling and pictures a life where you are not his, he wonders if you’ve meant more to him all along.
-
"I’m going to break things off with Yeonjun." You rest your head on your hands, elbows perched on the table in front of you.
Hongjoong sits before you, mouth open as he looks at you as if you are crazy. and perhaps you are for even thinking of letting Yeonjun go, but you were never really a selfish person, much less a selfish lover. and while you were not considered Yeonjun's lover just yet, you figure you need to pull back now before the tide takes you too far, leaving you stranded and alone drowning in your own consequences.
he exhales rather dramatically, "Are you sure? I'm going to be honest, I don't understand at all. Everything has been going so well! Why would you give up now?"
"But it hasn't been going so well Joong. I find him attractive but my feelings for Wooyoung are still very much there and alive." You take a sip of your drink, allowing the cool beverage to calm you. "I don't want to be one of those assholes who lead someone on when they aren't over their first crush or whatever."
you shake your head, "That's never going to be me."
Hongjoong nods understandingly. "Well, if you put it like that I can't really disagree."
he reaches over from across the table to pat your head comfortingly, "I'm proud of you, though. You are so selfless, it makes me worry someone will take advantage of you." You smile abashed at his praise, having always looked up to Hongjoong.
"Don't worry, I'm strong too, okay? I learned from you, after all." You smile as he scoffs teasingly.
Hongjoong glances out the window before looking back at you, "So, when are you planning on breaking the news to him? And what do you plan to do after?"
you press your lips together, "I asked him to meet me in an hour, so hopefully that goes well."
"As for after that..." you smile bitterly, "Maybe I'll confess to Wooyoung. I don't know, maybe a rejection would help me move on properly."
Honghoong tilts his head up and down, "You're a good person, y'know? It's not selfish of you to catch feelings for someone. Stuff like that is inevitable."
"And confessing your feelings wouldn't be a burden, I know what you are thinking, you deserve an answer to your feelings, whether that is an acceptance or a rejection."
you smile at Hongjoong's words, "Thank you, my unpaid therapist I so dearly love."
"Anytime." he deadpans, and you giggle as you watch his face break out into a smile.
you leave the coffee shop soon after, enjoying the breeze as you walk back to campus to meet Yeonjun. you aren't sure how your talk will go, but you know you need to get everything off of your chest, including the guilt of leading Yeonjun on.
"Y/n!" a voice calls out from behind you, and you turn to see Yeonjun waving at you. He jogs up to you, smiling once he is close, "Hey! How are you doing?"
you grin softly at him, "I'm doing okay, how about you?"
he runs a hand through his hair, and you are once again reminded of his strikingly amazing looks. you hope he finds someone to appreciate him as he deserves. "I'm alright, but I'm guessing you have something to speak to me about after that ominous text."
"Yeah... you're right." you glance up at him before looking back in front of you. "Lets walk and I'll tell you?"
"Of course, start whenever you're ready."
you exhale shakily, "So, there is no easy way to say this, but for as long as I've known Wooyoung, I have had feelings for him," You bite your lip, ripping the bandaid off immediately. "Maybe it was something about the way he treated me, or the way he treated everyone else. He was just so full of love and I was immediately smitten."
you look up into Yeonjun's eyes, "It's been three years, and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get over him." You move to stand directly in front of Yeonjun. "I owe you a massive apology. I am so incredibly sorry for showing interest in you despite having feelings for someone else. It wasn't right for me to practically use you, not when you have been so good to me from the beginning."
you finish your apology with a deep bow, only rising when Yeonjun scrambles to make you stand straight.
"Well, I can't say I'm totally surprised. I did see how he looked at you at the party, but I do appreciate the apology." he smiles, not seeming resentful in the slightest. you wonder if he was an angel in his past life.
but you're also confused, "What do you mean how he looked at me? It's unrequited, he only sees me as his best friend." Your mind races as you try to imagine what Yeonjun could possibly mean, but you try not to get your hopes up.
he tilts his head, "I just mean he looked really jealous, but I guess you didn't notice." You look at Yeonjun with furrowed brows, before pushing the thought out entirely. you could overthink this later, when you weren't in the presence of the sweet guy in front of you.
"Anyway! I just wanted to talk to you about that. I really am sorry, and I hope we can be friends even if I was a selfish asshole."
Yeonjun shakes his head seriously, "You are not a selfish asshole for trying to get over him. You telling me all of this now proves that you are much kinder than you give yourself credit for."
"And of course we're friends! If it makes you feel any better, I'm still not one hundred percent over my ex, so I hope that will ease your conscience." he pats your shoulder reassuringly.
you raise your eyebrows at his confession. "Thank you, seriously." You move to hug him and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into him firmly.
what you don't notice, is your best friend staring at you a few feet away, your favorite donut in one hand and his iced americano in the other.
he eyes Yeonjun's arms wrapped around you, wanting nothing more than to pull him off and surround you with himself instead. you deserved someone better than Yeonjun. you deserved someone who would make you breakfast when you slept in; someone who would bring you hot cocoa between classes during harsh winters, and someone who would shower you with more love than you could possibly imagine.
he could do that for you; he could be that person for you.
Wooyoung's chest feels lighter when he realizes what this means, but his brows furrow as he watches you break apart from Yeonjun, looking up at him with a sweet smile. he pouts, glancing at the donut in his hand as he turns away, a new goal in mind.
he is going to pursue you. not Miyu, whom he hadn't had an interest in quite some time, nor Yujin, the girl from his class who wouldn't leave him alone. he doesn't know why he's been searching so hard for something- or someone who was right there all along.
but he has time to make up for it, and he certainly will.
The next time you see Wooyoung is during your break between classes. you are sitting at a bench outside, headphones on as you whisper the lyrics to 'Dust' by Seventeen.
you shriek when you feel a cold sensation on the back of your neck, pulling your headphones off as you hear that familiar cackle behind you. you glare at Wooyoung as he wipes tears from his eyes, finding you very amusing.
"I'm glad that was so funny to you," you say snarkily, but all Wooyoung does is beam at you in response. "You're not going to thank me? I drove all the way to the store to grab it."
you glance down at the cold drink in front of you, seeing your ultimate favorite beverage from a store all the way across town. you look up to Wooyoung with an excited smile, "Oh shit! Thank you, you really shouldn't have."
Wooyoung shrugs your comment off with a wave of his hand, but his cheeks burn pleasantly. he takes a seat next to you, nuzzling your neck as he wraps his arms around your waist and you freeze. you haven't been this close to Wooyoung in weeks, courtesy of the distance you implemented in order to get over him.
"I miss you," he whispers, and you relax instantly. the last thing you wanted was for Wooyoung to feel neglected in your friendship, so you accept his hug without a care for your initial goal.
you pat his head, running your hands through his hair as you notice it has gotten quite long. he melts underneath your touch, and you smile fondly. "You okay?" you ask.
Wooyoung lifts his head, facing you. the two of you are inches apart, and your heart races at the close proximity. you can see his precious dot, as he likes to call it; your eyes trace his nose bridge as your gaze falls to his lips, eyeing the beauty mark on his bottom lip.
he bites his lower lip, and you glance back up to his eyes, noticing his gaze stuck on your lips as well. you wonder what he’s thinking.
you swiftly turn to your laptop, "So, how was class?" Your cheeks feel hot, and your chest burns. you were about two seconds away from saying fuck it and kissing him.
Wooyoung sighs, "It was okay I guess. Nothing interesting, I'd rather be with you."
your stomach lurches at his words, but you turn to him puzzled. "Isn't Miyu in your last class? What happened?"
"Nothing," he shrugs. "I've just realized there are more important things for me to focus on. More important people to focus on."
you stare at his unusual seriousness, "Ah... I see."
he suddenly smiles brightly, "Plus, I'd rather be around my Y/nie than any other girl!" he moves to hug you again, and you stare bitterly at the drink in front of you.
you would never get over him. it was like clockwork.
-
"Okay, let's go?" you ask Wooyoung, who is once again perched up on your bed as you exit your bathroom, spraying your perfume and eyeing the black bodycon dress that hugged your body flatteringly.
when you look up Wooyoung is standing with his arms crossed, mouth pursed in a pout. you raise your eyebrows at him, "What?"
he falls backward on your bed, facing the ceiling. "How is it possible to look that beautiful. I'll never know."
your heart jumps like it always does when he compliments you, though you giggle as you wave him off, "C'mon, Youngie, we’ll be late."
the two of you arrive at the club less than thirty minutes later, and Wooyoung laces his fingers with yours the moment you step in. you glance down, stomach swirling at the sight of the rings adorning his hands and prominent veins leading up his arms. you bite your lip and look up; you could not get distracted by his arms so early into the night.
"Wooyoung! Y/n! It's so good to see you." the tall bartender greets.
you smile up at him, "It's good to see you too, Mingi. I hope you're doing well,"
Mingi nods, "I am, and I'm doing even better after seeing you two. It's nice to see some familiar faces in this place."
"When you finish your shift you should come with us! We miss you, Mangi, it's been too long." Wooyoung whines from his place beside you. you roll your eyes at his antics, but you would be lying if you said you didn't miss Mingi too.
Mingi laughs, smiling at the two of you. "So, the usual?"
"Yup! Please and thank you." You grin cheekily. Mingi winks before leaving to get your drinks.
Wooyoung turns to you, "The others should be here any second now, I'm honestly shocked we got here first." You lean your head on Wooyoung's shoulder, unable to hear his breath hitch due to the loud music, "I'm not really surprised, we've always been punctual people."
you lift your head and smile at him, faces close as you wink, "That's why we get along so well."
Wooyoung gulps at your closeness as he smiles nervously, "Yeah, I really hate people who are late." You giggle and nod, understanding him completely.
a large figure runs into Wooyoung from behind as their arms wrap around him, and you laugh as you watch San smile at you from his place on Wooyoung's shoulder, "Hi, Y/nie! Youngie! I've missed you guys so much, it's been like, forever!"
"It's actually been three days, but I gather that's too long for you two." you tease, and Wooyoung pouts at you as he turns around to hug San properly.
San moves to hug you next, "Yeosang and Hongjoong are using the bathroom, those two losers drank too much water or something." San looks disgusted as Wooyoung giggles.
"TMI Sannie, TMI," you say stifling a laugh. San was very close to Wooyoung, and very similar to Wooyoung. those two were the cutest platonic soulmates you've seen, and it has always been fun when they were together.
"What did you tell them, San-ah?" a deep voice deadpans from behind you. you turn to see Yeosang and Hongjoong, squinting at San as he hides behind Wooyoung.
you jump out of your seat, "Sangie!" you run into his arms, squeezing him tightly. "I missed you so much, you barely come to these events anymore." You pout up at him as he smiles, "Sorry, Y/n, I've been a little busy, but I promise I'll try to come as often as I can."
Hongjoong stands to the side, "The fuck am I? Chopped liver?"
you break away from Yeosang and giggle as you move to hug Hongjoong as well, "Hi, Joongie. I missed you as well, even if I saw you two days ago."
"Uh-huh. Sure." Hongjoong says dismissively, though the smile on his face tells a different story.
the four of you move to a booth, ordering another round of drinks along with some food. the night is fun, filled with laughter and jokes as you watch Wooyoung and Hongjoong bicker like children. you are almost finished your meal when you spot a familiar head through the crowd.
"I'll be right back, I want to go say hi to someone," you tell them, taking a sip of your drink before sliding out of the booth as you stare at your target.
Wooyoung eyes you from his seat, ignoring the looks of mirth he gets from his friends. you look amazing tonight, just as you do every night, and it's been hard for him to not want to keep his arms wrapped around you the whole time. not because of others staring, but because of how irresistible you look. he wonders who you have left to speak to, but once he gets a glimpse of their face, he scowls.
Yeonjun.
"Yeonjun! Hi!" you greet, smiling toothily at the tall man.
he looks shocked for a moment before his face relaxes at the sight of you, "Hey, Y/n, how's it going?" he moves to hug you, arms covering your torso as you stretch to hug his neck. you feel as though someone is staring at you from behind, but shrug it off as you look back to Yeonjun.
"It's good! Hongjoong, Yeosang, and Wooyoung are over there." You point back to them, and Yeonjun glances at the table, coughing when he sees Wooyoung glaring at him.
"Oh, that's cool. I came with Beomgyu, and HueningKai. They're over there getting shitfaced as we speak."
you look behind him and find the two of them dancing sloppy and chuckle at the sight. "And let me guess, you are the responsible parent for the night?"
Yeonjun sighs, "Unfortunately. Without me, these idiots wouldn't end up home most nights."
you nod at him, amused.
"So, how's everything with Mr. Loverboy?" Yeonjun asks, tilting his head toward Wooyoung. you glance back and catch Wooyoung's eye; he smiles charmingly, and you grin back before facing Yeonjun, and your face drops. "I actually have no idea. Sometimes it feels like we're having a moment, but then he treats me like normal, so I'm not really sure."
you exhale, "If there's one thing I know, though, it's that he isn't interested in any girl right now. He told me he has more important things and people to focus on or something like that."
you smile sadly, "I wonder if it's too naive to think it's me."
Yeonjun scoffs loudly, and you look up to him startled. "Listen, if I wasn't sure before, I am sure now. Wooyoung most definitely feels the same way about you." he leans down to your ear, feeling only slightly scared as Wooyoung glowers at him from across the room. "Not only was he incredibly jealous the first time I met him, but he has been shooting daggers at me since you approached me."
Yeonjun lifts his head and smiles encouragingly, "I'm sure all he needs is a little push, and he'll confess. Don't give up yet, Y/n. He's almost there, I can tell."
you look at Yeonjun, not very convinced though not as dejected as before. "Okay, yeah. I should get back."
You glance at his friends, "Good luck with those two, let me know if I can help." You smile, giggling when Yeonjun sighs dramatically at the sight of them.
"Don't worry, I can handle them. You should focus on the jealous boy who's waiting for you across the room." Yeonjun waves before giving you a little push towards Wooyoung, "Please, go before he rips my head off."
you roll your eyes with a chuckle, smiling as you wave and make your way back to your friends and Wooyoung. you attempt to swiftly pass the people dancing, but you get caught up in the crowd, losing sight of the table and struggling to get out.
when a hand grabs at your wrist, you flinch, moving back as you cradle your arm against you protectively. "Hey, sweetness," a gruff voice comes and you glance up to see an older man with missing teeth.
Just what you needed.
your hands shake as you attempt to move past him, "Sorry, not interested." but he grabs your arm again and you rip it out of his grasp for the second time.
"I said I'm not interested."
he laughs, and you can smell his rancid breath from where you stand. "You don't mean that, c'mon, why else would you be wearing that?" Your face drops at his comment, and your mind races as you wonder if you'll be able to run fast enough to lose him. you glance at the dancing bodies surrounding you, realizing that was highly unlikely.
but before you can panic any longer, a familiar scent fills your senses as you are pulled into someone's chest. you flinch again, still jittery, but when you see Wooyoung you relax immediately.
Wooyoung curls an arm around your waist and you sink into his embrace, "She said she’s not interested, you fucking loser." he glowers, face devoid of the usual joy it contains, as his eyes are hardened with protectiveness.
“Well, maybe she shouldn't be wearing that outfit if she didn't want the attention!" the man yells, causing people to look your way as a circle forms surrounding the three of you. you tug at Wooyoungs arm when you see his nose flare in anger not wanting things to get physical, "Wooyoung, fuck this idiot, don't bother with him," you glance up at the man before you,
"He has enough problems, like the fact that he wakes up every day looking like that." You sneer.
Wooyoung grins, "Good point."
the man opens his mouth in fury, but he gets interrupted, "Is there a problem here?" Two security guards approach and the man pales. you interject before he can speak, "Yes, actually. This guy grabbed me twice when I said I wasn't interested."
the man flails uselessly as the two men escort him out, cursing at them in rage. a rather anticlimactic ending to such a panic-inducing situation, but you gratefully accept it. you exhale once they are out of sight, relaxing onto Wooyoung as he wraps both of his arms around your waist. you feel exhausted, though Wooyoung feels comforting around you, and you do not wish to move.
"Y/nie, let's go home?" he whispers in your ear, and you nod slowly before turning around and burying your face in his neck. Wooyoung, your Wooyoungie. you feel tears spring to your eyes, because the truth is he wasn't yours.
perfect, protective, kind, thoughtful, and sweet Wooyoung was not yours, and you find that thought a little harder to digest right now. Wooyoung feels something wet on his neck as he looks down at you worriedly, "Y/n? Are you okay?"
you don't respond, clutching him harder as he curses before maneuvering you outside.
the cooler night air feels refreshing as it greets you, and you sniffle once the door closes and you are alone with Wooyoung. "What's wrong, Y/nie? Talk to me, pretty."
another tear streams down your face at the term of endearment as you push him away frustrated. "Don't call me that!"
Wooyoung's face drops, "Don't call you pretty?" he looks at you helplessly, "I-I'm sorry, but I don't- Are you upset about what just happened? Because why does it seem like you're upset with me?"
you wipe your tears, annoyed with your shaky hands and legs that felt much too like jello. "I am upset! I'm scared because that was a really scary situation to be in, but more importantly, I'm upset with you!"
Wooyoung looks heartbroken, his hand reaching out to you before falling to his side.
"It's not fucking fair, okay? You don't get to buy me sweet drinks and get possessive when I flirt with someone, and then glare daggers into guys I'm just friends with and protect me from creepy ugly men without me catching feelings for you!" you cry out, breathing heavily as you continue.
"I'm so tired of the shitty butterflies I get when I see you, or the sadness I feel when you look at every girl but me, and most of all I'm sick of your stupid pretty lips that look way too pretty to be real and- now I'm rambling about your lips being pretty-"
he grabs your cheeks gently, pushing his lips onto yours and your brain short circuits. your hands lift unsure, before finding purchase on Wooyoung's broad shoulders as you part your mouth, a small noise leaving your throat when he bites your bottom lip gently.
he pulls back first, and you swallow the whine you want to let out. "I have feelings for you too, Y/n. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out, but I'm here now." he smiles unsure, "And uh, if it's okay with you, I'd like to take you out on a date sometime. Or something like that." he says shyly.
you smile at his red cheeks before cupping his face and pulling him down into another kiss, this time taking your time as you slip your tongue in and tug gently on his bottom lip back with your teeth, before parting and giggling at his furious blush.
"I'd love to go on a date with you." You kiss his nose and smile before grabbing his hand and leading him back to the car. "And you're coming home with me tonight! I deserve cuddles," you demand as Wooyoung stares at you dopily from behind.
you would get all the cuddles you wanted, and more. Wooyoung would give the world to you if you asked, because that was exactly what you deserved.
Extra:
“C��mon, Junnie. Don’t be scared. I just want to introduce you two since you both mean so much to me,” you whine at Yeonjun, pulling his arm as he shakes his head back and forth.
he whines back at you, “Why would you subject me to this knowing how Wooyoung feels about me? You are cruel, Y/n. Very cruel."
you roll your eyes at his dramatic behavior, “This is exactly what I mean when I say your extra ass will get along with Wooyoung. You two act so similar it’s honestly kind of scary.”
“Yeah, except I don’t glare at people when I feel jealous.” he crosses his arms, staring at the ‘Welcome’ sign in front of the cafe Wooyoung was waiting for you two at.
you push him closer to the door, “Please, Junnie? It would really mean a lot to me,” you beg softly, knowing Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to handle your sad eyes.
he sighs, head falling down before he looks back up, “Fine, fine. Just stop looking like a kicked puppy.”
you cheer with your arms up, smiling happily as you drag him inside.
“Wooyo!” you call, watching Wooyoung look up with a cute smile. you let go of Yeonjun's arm as you take quick steps toward your boyfriend, “I know you two know each other already, but this is time for re-introductions.” you state seriously, grabbing Wooyoung's hand softly.
he stares at you sulking, but listens obediently. “Wooyoung, this is Yeonjun, one of my close friends. Yeonjun, this is Wooyoung, my boyfriend! I hope you guys can get along well.”
the two of them wave half-heartedly, mumbling ‘hellos’ but you figure that’s good enough for now. “Okay, I’ll go grab the food then,”
you ignore the way both of them turn to you with wide eyes, smirking as you approach the front and leave them alone with one another.
Wooyoung glares at Yeonjun as he avoids eye contact, finding the stain on the table much more interesting. “So. Yeonjun, I’ll be frank, do you like Y/n?”
Yeonjun's eyes snap to Wooyoung's serious ones as he sighs, “No, I only like her as a friend, I promise.” Wooyoung sits back unconvinced as he crosses his arms. Yeonjun figures he should come clean and explain himself properly, for your sake at the very least.
“I understand why you would be skeptical, especially since we did flirt before, but neither of us actually felt anything for each other from the start. We may have tried, but Y/n was way too in love with you to even bother looking at me, and I was still getting over a breakup so I never really looked at her like that.” he bites his lip, glancing at Wooyoungs face for a reaction and is in shock when he sees Wooyoung... blushing.
“She’s… in love with me?” he smiles elated, and Yeonjun wonders if he spoke too much. “Well, yeah? I thought… oh fuck.” he rubs his hands on his face; he was just fucking up one thing after the other.
he places his hands on the table as he watches you pick up the food making your way back to the table, “Okay, please keep this conversation to yourself otherwise I will never see the light of day again.”
Wooyoung giggles, “Mmhm, no worries!” he looks the happiest Yeonjun has ever seen him, and he sighs as he figures Wooyoung wouldn’t out him immediately at least.
you place the tray of food on the table, “What’s got you so happy, Woo?” you ask, smiling at his very obvious joy.
“Nothing, nothing,” he winks at Yeonjun, and he has to stop himself from face palming.
you glance at Yeonjun amused, “Okay, you guys can keep your secrets, don’t mind me.”
the rest of the lunch goes by shockingly pleasant, as Wooyoung and Yeonjun get along just like you knew they would. by the time the three of you are leaving the cafe, Yeonjun and Wooyoung have their arms intertwined as Wooyoung tells Yeonjun about the time he free styled for his dance exam after someone stole his choreography, Yeonjun listening intently as his mouth parts in awe.
you giggle as you watch them from behind. sure, Yeonjun might be your new rival for Wooyoung’s attention, but so long as Wooyoung was happy, you didn’t mind. the grin on your face only grows when you watch them hug goodbye.
this was your true happy ending.
unofficial tags: @scuzmunkie
#ateez angst#ateez fanfic#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez x you#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung x you#jung wooyoung x reader#wooyoung angst#wooyoung fluff#wooyoung x y/n
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Sammy- An Intro
By: J
aka “wait j has ocs?”
this uh actually was more of a test to see if i could sit down and write tbh, it isnt really all that intresting. at all.
i uh, you guys will never guess what the name sammy/samuel is to me! like actually probably never 💀
if you cant tell, im taking the “project onto ur ocs” very literally rn.
gen info at the end.
———————
sitting at a desk, there is a man, not short, not tall, not dull- but not bright.
‘sammy’ he assumes his name to be, its whats wrote on everything.
The weak pink and purple glow of the lava lamp- certainly not befitting of such a man- illuminating some of his desk.
1 in the morning, staring at his laptop, messages between him and ‘someone special’
(red is sammy)
“would it be ok then?”
“sure, if thats what you want dear”
“alr then”
“when do i start working on it?”
“uhuhhhh ill send u the stuff when its time”
“alr alr”
he knew he was no animator- barely an artist, if you could even call him that.
he still didnt understand just how he got tangled up with such a person, he hadnt talked to anyone in years.
—————————
sammy opened his eyes, firstly noticing the cold sweat on his body.
it has been 6 years since then, and yet he still has nightmares about it.
15:00. the clock on the far wall read 3 pm, washed in blue light.
sighing, he shoved himself from his bed and threw on a t-shirt, gray, heavy. he thought of checking his phone but, he didnt want to be bothered with anyone today.
October 15. in a way, he dreaded it. the day everything went wrong.
The day he was born.
for all of his life, it had been ignored, in a way, he knew he /wanted/ to celebrate it, but found it to be, in his own words, useless.
He stared in the mirror, semi brushing his hair with his right hand, looking at his own reflection, something he loathed with a passion. sighing once again, he grabbed a lighter and cigarette box and headed out side.
he put the fag between his lips and lit it, shoving the lighter back into his pocket and taking a drag off of the stick. he knew he should stop, hes known since he was a kid, and yet, hes still smoked for 12 years.
he stood in solace, only shaking slightly, only truly moving to take another hit off the cigarette.
around 6 minutes he crumbled up the cig, before putting it back into the box, he would dispose of it properly later, for now, he had to work on things.
—————————
sitting down at that same desk- now washed over with blue light instead of pink- he picked up a tablet, before propping it up (LOOK IDK I USE FUCKING GLUE BOTTLE LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE), that project for his so called ‘dearest’, they stopped talking so long ago, and yet, he wouldnt stop working on it, sammy wasn’t superstitious per se, nor religous, but, it hadnt left his mind for years, haunting him constantly. he was never given any direction, it was supposed to be a group project, hell he didnt even know if the project had /ever/ been finished. he didnt even know what part he was supposed to make.
so he did the only logical (to him) thing,
animate all of it.
he had never planned on becoming an animator, not even an artist, but it drove him mad.
for two years, constantly redoing scenes, redrawing frames, everything, he swore to himself that hed never stop until it was good enough, and that, he made sure of.
——————-
gen info/ ref for myself bc man ill never remember this shit!
Samuel/Sammy, male, 22, born 15 oct 1987 (present day 2009), ‘right hand dominate’, black hair, pale ass motherfucker doesnt get any sunlight besides smoking sometimes basically fucking pale as shit.
idk abt height and shit yet, have fun with this ig??? btw didnt look over this in the slighest, sorry for any typos.
#j writes badly#YOULL NEVER GUESS WHO THIS IS REFRENCING!#(its the author. its the fucking author.)#jhhbdndjdbenf i have alot of things to do#hooooo boy i wonder jf ill actually ever use my ocs tbh!#uggbhhdndn pls ignore this#“then why dont you post it pribately” SHUT THE FUCK UP#bc i cannot go insane alone 🥰 hope this helps#uhggg ill shut up now i gotta do shit
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my thoughts on the gintama live action movie
(ft. spoilers on the ending of the movie/the changes made to the Benizakura retelling, and a rant concerning my fave character, Katsura Kotarou)
When I first found out that the Gintama live action movie would be playing in the cinemas of my country, I’m pretty sure I screamed for joy, and then began impatiently checking for session dates and times so I could watch it the first chance I got.
That chance came a few days ago, when I flew to Sydney for a quick weekend getaway trip with my friend, and honestly, the opportunity couldn’t have been better.
After getting haphazardly lost and confused about Sydney’s Entertainment Quarter looking for the cinema, we walked maybe a few minutes late into the start of the movie to find a COMPLETELY EMPTY THEATRE!!
Just to confirm how empty it was but for me and my friend, I took a super blurry selfie:
It was honestly so awesome, because it meant we got to talk and laugh freely, and I could refresh her memory as to characters and their backstories and motives as needed (she’s not quite a Gintama fan, but she’s watched a few eps a long time ago and generally knows about and likes the series).
For me, this really, really added to the experience, because the movie is most definitely something you want to be able to share with friends and have a laugh about.
I have to admit that I did have my reservations about the movie before watching it, mostly because the trailer made it seem as if the movie was setting out to be a serious, action-driven version with comedy moments thrown for no seemingly coherent reason. I worried that the glaringly cartoonish CGI and post-production edits found in pretty much every live action anime adaptation would simply be too surreal and …emphatic, shall we say, for a “real” setting, and that that would continually visually jar me out of the movie to the point of being unable to enjoy it. Throw in the questionable costume designs, and the seemingly awkward acting that comes from playing exaggeratedly expressive anime characters in a straight and serious manner, and yeah, for all my excitement and anticipation, I had my doubts.
Ten minutes in, and I realised that every point of potential concern that I had had was really, genuinely what gave the movie the heart and warmth of Gintama, pushing the visuals and scenes to levels of ridiculousness that just worked. After all, how could I not giggle at CGI sparkles glinting off Kondou’s honey covered body, or at the fact that half the actors were walking around in freaking velvet lined kimonos? I was so happy at the way the movie was so self-aware and didn’t take itself seriously as per true Gintama-style, allowing them to use post-effects in genuinely funny ways.
The wacky, B-grade-feels acting was great too, because you could tell where the actors were having fun and you just had to smile too. The charming wackiness of their overacting captured the spirit of the characters exceptionally, and I have to give a special shout-out to Jiro Sato, Ken Yasuda, Masaki Suda, and Kanna Hashimoto for their respective roles as Henpeita Takechi, Tetsuya Murata, Shinpachi, and Kagura. Straight up, any scenes with them, especially the former two, were utterly hilarious, and had both me and my friend laughing for the acting.
This is all to share with you the feel-good vibes and genuine happiness I got from watching the Gintama live action, and to say that the coming rant I really made this post for does not in any way detract from my overall enjoyment and love for the movie.
But I have to say it.
(Note: this is also where spoilers come in)
I was, and remain, so, so, so disappointed with how they changed the ending to the Benizakura Arc, because it really drove home for me just how much the nuances of Katsura Kotarou’s character gets side-lined for other characters.
Perhaps this is a petty complaint driven entirely by my unashamed love and complete bias for Zura, but it is nevertheless one that left me leaving the cinema feeling disgruntled however much I enjoyed the movie in its entirety.
(Zura’s pretty face, because I couldn’t help myself and there was no one around to stop me)
Considering that this movie was made to be accessible to both Gintama fans and newcomers alike, the way characters were introduced is pivotal to how the audience is meant to understand the role of each character. In Zura’s case, his introduction, as well as his main scenes in the first half of the movie, is to set up his relationship to Gintoki as friend and comrade-in-arms.
Even before we learn of his position as Joui patriot, we learn that he would face and fight a running horde of armed police officers in support and defence of his friend, a relationship and character trait that is further highlighted in their next scene together where their history as schoolmates and war brothers is revealed.
Whether for plot purposes or not, the movie goes out of its way at the start to establishment this relationship dynamic between them, which is why it both infuriated and saddened me when at the climax of the movie, in the showdown between Gintoki and Takasugi, the script left Zura literally standing on the sidelines while his beloved childhood friends beat the ever-loving shit out of each other.
Just stood there.
Watching.
Not saying a word.
Not rushing in to separate the two closest people he has, not lifting a single finger to try and stop them.
Just stood there, until the script was ready for Gintoki to make his escape, at which point Katsura was finally allowed to come in and help a bloodied and bruised Gin to his feet so they could jump off the side of the ship together.
Leaving Katsura off to the side like that does a complete disservice to his character, as well as the complex relationship Gin, Zura and Takasugi are meant to have as battle-scarred childhood friends and disciples of Shouyou. Because it is not in any iterations of Katsura’s character to stand still and do nothing when the people he loves rage and hurt (and he loves Gin and Sugi, wholly, with every ounce of his being, and will hope and wait for them until the end of earth and time). Even at his most determined to kill Takasugi, he stands and talks to him first, tries to reason and offer something more beyond the world’s mere destruction, tries to remind Takasugi of the people still left behind. (It’s interesting in a way, how Zura accepts Takasugi in his madness and in his subtle way, wants to remind Takasugi of who he once was (who he once wanted to be) and what he once fought for, wants to slowly steer Takasugi to that person once more, the way Gintoki did for him; whereas Gintoki would kill that Takasugi to preserve the memory of the Takasugi-that-once-was.)
Zura has an extraordinarily deep and complex love for the two men he once fought beside, burdened as it is with the shared trauma of their sensei’s death and their loss in the war, and I do not accept that he would just stand there while those two men, for all intents and purposes, tried to kill each other.
There has always been a strong emphasis on the GinTaka relationship in the series, the love-hate, friendship-rivalry, resignation-rage, push-pull between them that’s unique to them—and that’s fine, except for me, this happens all too often at the expense of Zura, who’s contribution and added layered to their relationship is left forgotten or ignored. This maddens me sooo much, both in an angry way and a drives-me-up-the-wall-mad way, because it blithely disregards the intricacies and subtleties of their past, present and future, as if it never would have really mattered whether Zura was there or not.
Zura’s lack of presence and weight in formulating GinTaka’s relationship, and the role Shouyou’s remaining disciples are meant to play, has only been becoming more and more pronounced as the series has continued on and the focus concerning the relationship between Shouyou’s disciples stays stubbornly centred on Gintoki and Takasugi.
For example, in the animated Benizakura movie, Takasugi’s speech about wanting to destroy the world and his reasons for it are delivered to Katsura, and Katsura only. This then makes Katsura contemplative, resulting in his question about the divergence of their paths to Gintoki during their escape, as well as the question about each of the copies of their notebooks from their student says. With a kind of forced detachment, Gin replies that he spilt ramen on it and threw it away.
Comparatively, in the live action, while Takasugi’s dialogue about destroying the world is still delivered to Katsura, the bubbling rage of his reasons is directed at Gintoki, with Katsura off-scene assumedly dealing with Amanto. This split between who the dialogue is being delivered to subsequently puts the escape-contemplation scene out of context: without Takasugi’s reference to the man they lost and the reason for his rage against the world, would Katsura have been driven to ask Gintoki his question about their shared childhood? With Takasugi’s rage and accusation in his face, would Gintoki be able to reply, so stoically, that he threw spilt ramen on, and then threw away, a remaining memento of the man he looked up to. cherished and almost broke his soul for? (Perhaps you could argue that he would, but I think about the Shogun Assassination Arc, and I simply don’t see it.)
Like I said, perhaps this is a petty frustration, but I have been having these feelings for a while, especially with the way that Takasugi and Katsura have barely been allowed any time to interact in the manga/anime since their conflict during the Benizakura Arc. I keep feeling as if the potential for the nuances in their relations is ignored, as well as further development of each of their characters through an exploration of their three-way relationship. Just to make myself clear, I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be an indepth look at, and emphasis on, the GinTaka relationship, because that is one of the most intriguing, heartbreaking and powerful relationships in the series, or that Zura hasn’t been mostly treated decently as a character or anything along those lines. I just wish that the relationship the three of them have with each other could be explored more evenly, because I think that would add a richness and extra dimensions to their status as Shouyou’s disciples, particularly in seeing whether they have outgrown it, endeavour to live by it, or are almost destroying themselves with its weight.
My feelings about the unevenness of the GinTakaZura relationship aside, the Gintama live action movie is a must-see for Gintama fans. It’ll give you warm fuzzy feelings like hot chocolate or coffee (whatever your preference) and if you let yourself get swept along for the ride, I guarantee you’ll leave the theatre (or your living room!) grinning like a maniac.
;D
#gintama#gintama live action#review#i need a tag for my rambles#i should read over this again later to check for typos and stuff
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Crisis of Lust
Mads Mikkelsen x Female Reader
Warnings; Smut, female oral receving, sexual content.
I had this idea with Mads/Hannibal combined: So, the OC (id love If you could name her Ylana again) and Mads are actors in Hannibal and in the series they’re not a couple, but good friends in real life noticing the sexual tension between them. As they spend a nice evening together they found some fun smutty stories by accident where the writer ships Ylana’s character with Mads character (Hannibal x Female Character name) and Mads starts to read out the story loud for fun but soon realising that it’s going to be a smutty one and both of them get turned on, but not daring to make a move so the sexual tension is even higher after reading the story. Anyway... both of them try to work together professionally and the continue to read smutty stories about their characters in private, getting turned on immensely and then you can choose how Mads approaches Ylana to make the stuff written in the smutty stories come true? 😅 I hope this ignites the muse!
@negans-attagirl
A/N: Thank you for this request I had fun lol! Sorry for nyt typos. Enjoy!
‘’Cut!’’
Bryan Fuller’s voice was heard by all of the actors and actresses who were on the set, ‘’Thank you for today guys. See you tomorrow.’’ As soon as he said cut Mads looked at you and started to giggle like a 5 year old. He had a habit of making your job difficult by bursting into laughter or tickling you in the middle of a scene, it was as if he wasn’t a 47 year old man, just a naughty child. You never got angry at him though because over these months you guys got closer and closer, you had to spend time together and this allowed you to get comfortable with him and become his friend… deep down you wished you could be more than his friend but you buried those unholy thoughts and feelings and locked them up, you had to be professional and not fuck this up. ‘’Fuck I need to smoke. Care to join me?’’ he asked you casually and you had to suppress your childish noise, ‘’Sure.’’ You left the set and went outside, he had his Hannibal Lecter suit on him, he looked handsome and sophisticated, your clothes were expensive too and walking in those high-heels was painful but you loved the way people looked at you, they saw confidence and a beautiful woman. Not to mention Mads checking you out every once in a while. Mads offered you a cigarette and you gladly took it. He lit yours first, eyes locked on your lips for a second and then he lit his, ‘’Bryan thinks that we have a good chemistry.’’ He said and started to smoke, ‘’I think so too Mads, I’m comfortable when I work with you and others. It’s an amazing TV series and we have amazing fans. They keep sending me fan fiction and fan art.’’ You said feeling your cheeks go red, you read some of those fics and they were sexual, you couldn’t leave your eyes from the bright screen of your laptop yesterday night, some fans have a wild imagination world. ‘’Fan fiction?’’ He asked curious, his maroon eyes searched your face, ‘’Fans write stories about us and the show, about our characters.’’ He threw his cigarette and stepped on it, a cloud of smoke left his plump lips, ‘’I would like to read those stories. Have you read one?’’ Should you lie or tell him the truth? You had to look up to meet his gaze he was taller than you. ‘’No. I haven’t had time.’’ His eyes felt heavy, you shouldn’t have lied, he didn’t speak for a moment still looking at you directly to see if lied or not and then he gave up. ‘’I’m starving Mads, we can order take-out if you want and eat together.’’ Mads was happy to hear the offer because first of all he liked spending time with you, you made him smile more often and second of all.. he was hungry like a wolf.
You rented a house close to the set, at first you were staying at a hotel because no one was sure if Hannibal TV series was going to continue but later it was established that you will shoot 3 seasons so you rented a small place for yourself. Mads visited you a lot but every time he came to your house you were nervous, didn’t know what to do or to say. He walked in like he owned the place, took off his shoes and jumped on your couch, you went to the kitchen to order the food and bring beers.
As the night went you ate and found yourself reading fan fiction with Mads Mikkelsen. He was sitting next to you on the couch, he was a tall man so he took a lot of space and your arms were touching, not that you complained.
‘’Hannibal Lecter looked at her like a starved man, he didn’t know whether he wanted to kill her or fuck her-‘’
‘’Oops.’’ Mads started to laugh, he was the one who wanted to read them with you and you were both having fun. ‘’Keep reading I wanna know.’’ You encouraged him because he stopped and took a sip from his third beer, he looked unsure to continue he wanted to but he needed the encouragement. ‘’As you wish my lady.’’ He got comfortable on the couch,
‘’She was just standing in his basement, uncovered his deepest and darkest secret and he was unsure of himself for the first time. This woman bewitched him that was his conclusion because he found himself reaching to kiss her. She was trapped between Hannibal and the cold wall of his basement and her heart was racing. Was she scared of this serial killer? Probably, however, the anticipation of this man having feelings for her sent shivers to her entire body.’’
As Mads was reading you finished your cold beer to calm yourself, he looked so into it and it sent unholy ideas to your mind.
Mads had a pillow on his lap to cover his growing bulge and your laugh, heavy breathing didn’t make anything easy for him. He wished he found fan fiction before because this was fun and sexy. He wanted to do what Hannibal was doing to your character right now but he didn’t want to make anything awkward between you two.
‘’His hand slipped under the dress she was wearing, found her lace underwear and felt how wet she was,’’ Mads and you gave a shaky laugh, he cleared his throat and took another sip from his cold beer wondering if you were wet right now. You shifted your legs moments ago so it gave him hope.
‘’When Hannibal removed his two fingers he put them in her mouth and she tasted herself, eyes on his dark ones. ‘’Good girl.’’ Hannibal replied with his rich accent.’’
You had to squeeze your thighs slowly because you felt how wet you were when you moved on your small seat, arms still touching. ‘’Someone has a daddy kink.’’ You said looking at the bright screen of your laptop and didn’t notice the look Mads gave you. He wanted to be the one you call daddy under covers. ‘’Not surprised. Hannibal is a control freak.’’ He added to your comment.
‘’Hannibal touched her wet cunt again but this time he started to move his fingers, ‘’Tell me what you want little girl.’’ His voice was low and dangerous and she could cum right there.’’
‘’This is your part darling.’’ Mads turned to you, when you saw what the character said you swallowed silently,
‘’I want you to fuck me with your fingers daddy, please.’’
You read it
as Mads asked you, and saw a spark of light in his maroon eyes, was he enjoying this as much as you do?
There was a slight pink color on his high cheek bones, lips parted and you could hear his breathing go heavy. To your surprise you heard your phone ring, it was hard to stop looking into his eyes but you managed and answered the call. It was Bryan, he said the plans were changed and you had to go to set earlier than usual. You told Mads about it and he put the laptop on the glass coffee table. ‘’It’s getting late and we should get some sleep, see you tomorrow darling.’’ Before you could say anything he left quickly and you missed the chance to see his huge bulge, he had to take care of it when he returned his home and you had to take a quick shower.
The Next Day
As soon as you saw Mads in his Hannibal clothes you remembered last night and you felt your pussy throb with need. This man was going to be the end of you, ‘’Morning love.’’ Mads had a habit of calling you love, darling, sweet girl etc. ‘’Morning.’’
As you were filming the scenes together directors and Bryan were keep giving you compliments and telling you how great you both were. It was true you and Mads had a great chemistry on the screen, and you were good friends in real life. Your scenes weren’t intimate but there was one where Hannibal touched your character’s hand and kissed it gently and you forgot how to breathe for a second. Mads was looking at you with those beautiful eyes, you could still feel the gentle kiss on your hand. He winked at you after the scene came to an end, you took a break and Mads asked you to use your laptop because his phone died and he had no charger, you were talking to Hugh Dancy at that moment so you said yes and brushed him off, Hugh was talking about a scene you shared and how to improve it. Mads didn’t like you attitude, he didn’t like when your attention wasn’t on him. He clenched his sharp jaw and left, you always had your laptop with you so he walked to your trailer, the door was open. He could smell your perfume, it made his mouth water. He found your laptop, his mind went to last night, he didn’t want to stop reading but it got to the point where he almost pinned you down to the couch and make love to you. Before he closed the laptop he noticed something, there was a tab he clicked on it and it lead him to a tumblr blog where there was a fan fiction, ‘’Liar.’’ Deep down he knew you read those stories. It was a sexual one, he couldn’t help but read it, it was about your characters and they were having sex.. a rough sex. Imagining you reading this alone turned him on, he was rock hard. He wanted to know the reason why you lied to him yesterday, he could ask you but that would reveal that he opened that tab and read the fan fic himself too. When Mads heard footsteps he quickly closed the laptop and left your trailer and ran to his. He had to touch himself and take care of hard cock. He wished you were there to help him.
Later that day Mads invited you to his house to read more stories together and you said yes, how could you refuse him? He had you wrapped around his finger and he had no idea.
He opened a bottle of wine for you because he knew that you loved red wine, got himself a can of beer and you opened your laptop, ‘’Let’s find a new one.’’ You looked so innocent while searching and so focused that he just wanted to grab your chin and kiss you but he took a deep breath and let you find a fic. ‘’I read the last one, you should read this.’’ He wanted to hear you say those nasty words and you didn’t complain.
‘’When Hannibal noticed that his office door was unlocked he felt rush of adrenalin. He remembered locking it yesterday night, was it someone he knew or just a break in situation? He carefully walked inside and saw her sitting on his shiny brown desk. She only had her dark red lace lingerie and a red lollipop between those beautiful lips. He closed the door behind him and locked it, ‘’I didn’t think you would be this bold. I must admit I am surprised.’’ He said coming closer to her, her scent filled his nostrils, ‘’I had a steamy dream of you last night Doctor,’’ she licked the lollipop gently, ‘’I haven’t waken up ever since.’’ Hannibal put his work bag on the floor and came to stand right between her open legs.’’ Mads started to shift at his eat, ‘’These fans I swear to God.’’ You smiled, when you were reading it he could feel the words going directly to his manhood. He couldn’t take it anymore. ‘’Why did you lie about not reading any fics about us?’’
You didn’t expect a question liked that, ‘’I didn’t.’’ Mads smirked like the devil himself, ‘’I saw an open tab on your laptop today, it was a smut fic about us. I think,’’ he put the beer can on the coffee table and came close to her, ‘’you read those to touch yourself at night. You imagine me touching you, fucking you into the mattress like a wild animal. Am I wrong sweet girl?’’
He put the laptop away, ‘’Cat got your tongue?’’ you remembered to speak, ‘’I- yes I read fics about us.’’ His big hand came to caress your flushed cheek. ‘’Do you touch yourself too my love?’’
‘’Yes.’’ You breathed, that was the answer he wanted to hear. He leaned in to kiss your wet lips, your body felt like it was lit by gasoline. Your hands went to his hair and you slowly got comfortable on the couch. He was on top of you now and kissing you like a starved man, he parted his lips, ‘’The thought of you reading those alone at night… I had to touch myself at work love. You were in my mind all day.’’ This honest confession almost made you cry. This time you kissed him, it was passionate, needy and hard. He was between your legs, your hands went to take off his black shirt and he helped you. Seeing his torso, touching it made your pussy throb with excitement. His chest hair was grey, he was much older than you but fuck it right? Who cares.
He decided to stand up and look at you, you were on his couch, legs separated, hair a mess and you were still very much clothed. He knelt and grabbed your legs to make you sit, he was on his knees and he had an idea. He pulled your pants with your wet panties and you took off your blouse, your clothes were somewhere on the floor and you didn’t care. A strand of grey hair fell to his forehead, your kneecaps pressed up hard against his chest, he wanted to eat you out until you screamed his name. The cool air of the house met your hot and slick pussy and you inhaled sharply, he opened you up even wider and you felt exposed, your hands went to cover your flushed face but he held your wrists, ‘’Don’t, please. You are beautiful and I’m honored to be in your presences my goddess. All I want is to serve you tonight.’’ His words felt intimate and honest. You felt safe and loved.
He looked at your exposed part, ‘’You look divine.’’ Hi face was too close to your cunt and you could feel his breathing, he first kissed your inner thighs, eyes locked on you. You felt so soft he could cry, he left few marks on your inner thighs, and suddenly his lips enveloped on your clit. The noise just left your parted lips made him smile, his mouth felt like a fucking furnace, hot and needy, his silver tongue came out to play with your clit and you could hear and feel him hum deeply in his throat. His fingers were holding and brushing your soft thighs, your cunt was swollen already and his sweet tongue was swirling circles around it. Your hips had their own mind, moving in rhythm. He slowly pushed two fingers in you, and your hands went to his thick hair, pulling with passion ‘’Oh- f- fuck!’’
His rough growls turned you even more, he pulled his fingers and pushed them again, creating a rhythm and his mouth was still on you, never stopped licking, kissing. His fingers were pushing in and out over and over again and were panting heavily, ‘’Mads, oh fuck k- keep going.’’
A fire was lit in your abdomen, and you started to beg him to be faster, he was teasing you with his hot mouth and fingers and he was slow but steady. ‘’Please faster Mads faster,’’ he liked the way you beg but kept being steady. He kept licking through your wet folds and finger fucking you. That was spreading to your body, your breathing was shallow and he still was going steady and it made you cry. You were shedding tears because of how good you were getting fucked by his mouth and fingers. And he stopped, removed his mouth and fingers which left you confused, he raised his two fingers to your mouth, you opened up and liked them and you moaned, never leaving eye contact and Mads felt his hard cock leaking with pre-cum. His fingers went inside you again, wetter this time. Your hips were locked and the soft moans leaving your mouth was driving him crazy but tonight was about you, he wanted to make love to you, give the pleasure you deserve. ‘’I-I- m gonna cum Mads oh I-m coming’’ his mhmmmm sound gave you courage, your hand was locked in his hair, he gave a soft lick on your clit and curled his fingers inside and hit a spot where no man could do it before. You didn’t hold your cry and sob and let your body erupt, your back arched and you saw white lights your legs were uncontrollably shaking and your cunt was flooding itself, you came in a man’s mouth for the first time in your life and Mads Mikkelsen didn’t pull away or looked disgusted, tonight he ruined all the men for you.
He slowly pulled out his fingers and mouth, your grip on his hair got loose, you moaned when he left contact because your cunt was still pulsating and legs were shaking ever so slightly. He kissed you lazily and then left a soft kiss on your forehead, ‘’Good girl.’’
Thank you for reading. :)
#hannibal#hannibal lecter#doctor hannibal lecter#mads mikkelsen#mads mikkelsen x reader#mads mikkelsen x you#hannibal x reader#hannibal x oc#hannibal x you#Smut#SMUT FIC#smut fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic#reader#mads mikkelsen imagine#hannibal smut#hannibal imagine
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[Image ID: A black picture with the title “HOW TO SUPPORT FANFICTION AUTHORS” written in bold caps lock, colored with a winter forest picture. End ID.]
Well, this post has been made countless times, but I’m making one too because I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re new to tumblr and don’t know the whole “reblogging is better than liking” rule and other stuff. So without any further ado, here are ways YOU can support the fanfiction authors. Now keep in mind this applies to almost every author out there, not just the stayblr fandom, so if you’re a silent reader (or even if you aren’t), I advise you go through this post. Warning, this is a fairly long post going into detail, so yeah. I still expect you, the readers to read this, and if you’re a writer, feel free to lmk if i’ve written smth wrong or if you want me to add something! ^^
In this post I’ll go into thorough analysis of the pros and cons of each of the methods listed here and how YOU as a reader can show the authors whose fics you read more love and motivate them to produce content.
WARNING; LONG POST! GOES INTO A DECENT AMOUNT OF DETAIL. NOT EDITED, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS.
#1 : LIKING !
I think this is basic common knowledge, and a lot of people tend to do this. When you like the post, the author sees it, you see it, and if the author has their liked posts accessible (which majority of the time they don’t), and if someone deliberately goes to check it, then they see it. See why so many authors say just liking does nothing? Only liking says “Hey, I’m gonna tell you your story is not that good by simply liking it and not sharing it with other people. :D”
♯ PROS:
You’re telling the author that you've read their fic, and either you’ve enjoyed it to a certain extent, or you’re just saving it to read for later.
Likes are seen by you, the author and anyone who has access to your likes (which, most people don’t).
♯ CONS:
If you ONLY like, you’re not really helping the author’s work reach a wide audience because this site isn’t Instagram. Reblogging is the only way people can SEE our works. I’ll cover more on that in the next section.
In a nutshell, liking is good! But you should most likely use it in a combination with the other stuff I’ve listed below, because just the like itself doesn’t really do much in giving the author any feedback or interaction on their fics.
To clear shit up; I’m not talking about those people who don’t read the story or appreciate it in the first place. I’m talking about those who appreciate the fic, like it, but don’t leave any sort of feedback to show that.
#2 : REBLOGGING !
This is SO, SO important. I cannot stress on this enough. Let me explain WHY so many writers stress on reblogging content:
Tumblr’s tag system is inherently fucked up, and has grown more so over the year. I’m not kidding, at first, the fic either used to show up in the tags or it didn’t, but now, sometimes your fic can be REMOVED from the tags because of,,, idk tumblr tag shit. Anyways, as you can see, it’s very demotivating for authors at that point, because the major way for people to find their content and expand their blogs has been blocked.
Due to this reason, tumblr authors need to RELY on you, their followers to help spread their works to a wider audience. Now again, before you get me wrong, I’m not saying you ae forced to rb our works regardless of whether you like them or not. BUT, that being said, if you DO infact like the story, there’s no harm in reblogging, right? By doing this you’re indirectly telling the author — “hey! :D I liked your fic! Which is why I am gonna share it to my followers so they can read it too :D” Trust me, you’re doing nothing but helping the people who produce content for you to read. Seems like a worthy cause to hit the reblog button, right? It’s only a one, or maximum two step procedure.
Leave tags in your reblogs! Trust me, as an author myself and as much as I know from all my author friends, we oft check the tags of your reblogs to see if you found any part amazing or even if you have anything to say about the writing we put so much hard work into. Even a key smash or a “This was so [insert adjective] 🥺” is enough to leave a smile on your authors face.
♯ PROS :
You’re !! Sharing !! Your authors !! Works !! This leads to them getting more recognition, so for the content they’re so graciously providing for free, you’re promoting their blog and helping them expand it.
If the tags are being a shit, which majority of the time they are, then you’re literally making an author’s day by reblogging! You’re showing them that you, a follower and appreciator of their works are willingly sharing their content because it deserves to be seen by more people. Again before any dumb people decide to attack me, i am talking about people who like the fic but don't bother reblogging and are silent/ghost readers. I am not forcing anyone to read anybody’s work.
YOU’RE MAKING YOUR AUTHOR SO HAPPY WHAT MORE REASONS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT !! 🥺
♯ CONS :
Literally none, because as far as I remember no author is against reblogging of their works. It’s quite literally the way this platform functions. Reblogging is IMPORTANT.
#3 : COMMENTING/SENDING FEEDBACK !
This kind of overlaps with the previous section, but THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT STEP !! When you leave feedback, you are directly giving the author something so much more valuable to them than high follower/note counts or money. Your feedback is literally our serotonin. I kid you not the number of times I’ve received a positive comment and smiled and it has made my day. There’s a reason youtubers (though not the best example, bear with me here because it was the only one I could think of) ask people to subscribe, like and COMMENT. The subscription is like a follow, the like is ofc like a heart, and the comment is equivalent to an rb with comments in the tags.
You might argue and tell me that a comment is basically like an ask so the reblogging step isn’t necessary, but I’m sure 99% of you use YouTube and you know that more comments leads to people’s videos boosted in the stream/trending charts. This is what reblogging does. Reblogging shares the piece with other people like minded, which leads to a boost in reads. You are literally helping your author grow.
It’s quite literally the same thing as youtubers. Youtubers NEED validation to keep their content creation going, so do writers, so do other ccs on this site. This post is however, focused on WRITERS, so keep that in mind.
♯ PROS :
By doing this, you’re giving author valuable feedback! It’s similar to what you do in rbing with tags. Interactivity with their fics boosts their note counts and helps expand their audience, so srsly, now think of it: your one comment is playing such a massive role to help ccs create more content.
Imagine how much of a difference the note counts will be in when every person who simply likes after reading the fic, reblogs, leaves a comment and sends an ask. the note counts would be high on each and every fic, which is validation in itself, but your comments would inspire the writer so much more! Please, don’t skip the commenting part. Even a simple one like: “this is so cute!” is wonderful.
♯ CONS :
Remember, if you’re gonna give constructive criticism (which I’m sure you all are smart enough to know if different from hate), make sure the author is okay with it. Authors need to be in a specific mindset and must be ready to accept criticism, so if you’re gonna give constructive criticism to them when they’re at a low point, it may demotivate them.
Just commenting, instead of reblogging and commenting in the tags/ reblogging and then leaving an ask in their inbox, while it gives validation in plenty, will not lead to the author’s work being spread. Therefore I suggest either reblogging and commenting in the tags or reblog and then leave an ask, or comment under the fic!
!! reminder; I am not saying that if you don’t rb and just leave feedback, your feedback has no value. We authors truly appreciate every bit of feedback, but this post is aimed to help you learn how to interact with and support authors, and make them feel more motivated, because the current scenario of liking and scrolling is taking a toll on their creative abilities. Take it from a person who’s been writing for a year.
#4 : COMMSIONING VIA THEIR KO-FI/OTHER APPS !
Before any of you attack me, let me tell you that this is not a step that is 100% necessary to do. ONLY donate if you can and if you genuinely want to, and if anyone is forcing you to pay for something against your will, you need to get yourself out of there.
Regardless, if an author has a kofi and you’re able to and you want to donate, you definitely should! It’s also a valid form of support.
#5 : ADDING THEM ON REC LISTS/ RECOMMENDING THEM TO REC BLOGS
This is such an underrated option, to be honest. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen my fic was recommended onto some rec list and it’s made me smile so hard. If you like some fics, create a rec list! They’re oft very popular amongst the fans too. Making rec posts is such a great way to share your favorite stories with others.
Rec blogs! I’ve seen a couple going around, and needless to say they are a great way to get someone else to read your favorite author’s work whilst also giving them your own feedback. These blogs oft accept recs via a form or ask box, and they leave your feedback along with their own, or else they’ll oft tag the author in the feedback post, so look! You’re basically helping your author share their fic to many more people, because you’ve given them feedback and a reblog.
♯ PROS :
Validation! Feedback! Reblogs! More exposure! Helping a blog grow! Spreading love! basically a run down of the stuff I’ve said before!
♯ CONS :
Literally no con of this. Unless, a one in a million case, this author says they don’t like receiving feedback/being tagged, and I’m sure NO person has said this before, at least none that I’ve heard of.
#6 : FINAL COMMENTS; MISC !
When an author points out about how the interactivity is drastically reducing, don’t just give them blind apologies. Yes, you feel sorry for not interacting as much, we understand, but rather show that you’ll become a better content consumer through your actions. We need to see that we’re not just throwing words into a void and that people are actually trying to be better content consumers.
Understand the fact that authors don’t get paid for this, and 99% of the time, these authors don’t take commissions either. They’re giving you novel worthy writings for free. Take Percy Jackson: You think the author would have felt motivated to write the subsequent parts, let alone two whole series based off of it if literally no one showed that they were interested? Rick Riordan has sales, he is being paid, there are millions of people and big agencies who provide him feedback. Now take that huge amount and simmer it down to an audience of maybe 10000 people This is what fanfic authors want. They don’t want your money, nor are they telling you to risk your lives for them. All they want is, a reblog, some tags, some feedback, some INTERACTIVITY. A sign that they aren’t throwing fics into the void and that people actually like them, some motivation to continue. Seems fairly easy to throw an rb with some tags, right?
Don’t bother to tell me that we do this for ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for likes and reblogs and feedback, because 1) you are consuming the content that we “write for ourselves” and 2) writers post their content here for interactivity and feedback. We could just not post and write and save our fics in our dungeon drafts for years. But we choose to post to entertain the readers, the consumers. And we aren’t even asking that much in return.
Don’t give me the whole “I’m scared that authors feel that comments are annoying” excuse either because seriously this has been DEBUNKED SO MANY TIMES. Istg, in the nicest way possible, if you still think writers are annoyed by interaction and feedback, after so many posts, long rants have been posted as to how we’re not, then you must truly be living under a rock. There, I said it. Please stop thinking this way, I’ll say it again, AUTHORS ARE NOT ANNOYED OF FEEDBACK, COMMENTS, TAGS, REBLOGS. WE LOVE IT. Saying this is like saying that the audience in a theatre play shouldn’t clap when the play ends because the actors would find it noisy. 🤡
I’ve seen some people saying they have anxiety issues and such, so pls note that I’m not invalidating your condition. If you’re trying to be more interactive, I really appreciate it! If you can’t, that’s fine too. You’re trying.
But for the people who have no reason other than feeling lazy to rb and comment, your lack of interactiveness is not excused. Please. Tumblr is a reblogging site. If you’re gonna consume content like authors are some sort of machines, I encourage you to go get some more perspective.
This site is not Instagram or the satan bird app. Your likes are appreciated but frankly speaking, they do nothing to the author except tell them “Hey i read ur fic but i'm not gonna support u :D” and honestly, that is detrimental to their creative capabilities and mental health.
DON’T FOLLOW AN ACC JUST TO MINDLESS RB THEIR SIGNAL BOOST POSTS AND THEIR REBLOGS OF GIFS AND NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR WRITING AT ALL ! Trust me, authors prefer a lower amount of interactive followers than a high count that doesn’t even give them any feedback. Again your follows are appreciated, but when you’re following, you know the type of content the author creates, so the author expects that the more followers, the more interactivity. These days, this is just becoming the opposite. So don’t do it! If you’re gonna follow to read, interact with their works. I promise, this will make both you and the author happy. A win-win situation.
In conclusion: SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING AUTHORS! THEY ARE NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE NO FEELINGS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR YOU! FICS TAKE DAYS AND DAYS OF PLANNING, PLOTTING, OUTLINING, WRITING, EDITING, MAKING TEASERS. SO JUST SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE THEM WITH AN RB. IT’S THE L E A S T YOU CAN DO.
I will be liking this post here written by the lovely @chaninfused and @scriptura-delirus . Please take time to read it because if you weren’t convinced by my arguments, you will see how much frustration we as writers face on a daily basis. Please, just show support. Here is the post by @stayndays about how to get more people to read your work, because it also has a note on reblogging. Please educate yourself, and put an end to this mindless consuming culutre and bring up some interactivity.
If you’ve read this far, I want you to go to two of your favorite authors and leave some feedback in their inbox, and tag me in it (either tag me yourself or ask the author to do so, they won’t mind). Show your writers that our words are taking effect and you are becoming better consumers. I mean it. I’m serious. I want every single one who reads this post to do this. besides valid reasons, if you’re lazy to do this, you’re a part of the problem. PLEASE get more perspective.
Also, feel free to add to this post! I’d love to read your thoughts too, remember to be kind though. And, if I think your rb is somehow contradicting my points and is bringing down the reason I made this post, I will politely ask you to delete your comment, because this post is about being truthful about the harsh reality of tumblr consumers and how we can change it. I’m sure none of you will let it get to that point, though. <3 love you guys. 💓
And, just a reminder, don’t just blindly like this too. Do what I said before, and while I am not forcing you, I’d appreciate your reblog, because seriously, it took me 3 whole days to write this, plus, I’m sure this will help more of your followers understand the fault in consumer culture. haha, that’s it! This post was way too long uff.
also, this is ur cue to not be stupid in my inbox. You have something to say? Think I worded smth wrongly? I’m sure it wasn’t my intention to do so, point it out with manners.
#skz smut#stray kids smut#skz fluff#stray kids fluff#skz angst#stray kids angst#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#bts imagines#day6 imagines#got7 imagines#enhypen imagines#nct imagines#ikon imagines#treasure imagines#dawn.txt#writers on tumblr#blackpink imagines#twice imagines#red velvet imagines#tagsplsworkaaa
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kth | the day after valentine’s (m.)
Words: 4.5k
Synopsis: Taehyung, your best friend, had asked you to come over to help him arrange his furniture after moving for the hundredth time. It’s the day after Valentine’s and all the getting laid stuff is over, right? Not for Taehyung. Also, who the hell buys condoms after Valentine’s day?
Rating: 18+
Author’s Note: This is a messy drabble that I have no intention cleaning or editing. I wrote this at liek 2am so a lot of typo’s ahead y’all.
When you agreed to come over Taehyung's apartment, you thought he needed help with arranging the stuff that came from his moving van today. But no, your best friend's not the most truthful person you know.
He spreads across his dirty old couch, one he'd kept from his college dorm, wearing nothing but his basketball shorts that holds tight against his waist. Seven years since meeting him, he's done nothing to change his lifestyle. Every month, it's the same old scenario of him moving to another place after getting evicted for God knows how many times, and you watching him play a mobile game while you beg him to please start unpacking before a landlord sends him on his ass again.
"Let me finish this level, I'm so close." He looks for a second to study your reaction, annoyance painted clearly on your face.
You shrug, and your eyes dart over the cigarette pack that almost hides in one of his Goodwill boxes.
"I though you quit?"
Confused, Taehyung follows your eyes and he regrets in an instant bringing you here.
"I haven't had one in two months. I'm stressed lately."
Sighing, you try to understand. Taehyung's been on and off with cigars, he'd buy one in secret but sooner or later, you'd always find a lighter in his laundry when coming over. You advice him to keep his hand busy, and you'd even given him a bracelet that chimes. He removed it three months later and you never asked where he threw it away.
"Fuck," his finger swipes his screen as if he wanted to break it, "I almost got it!" he yelled.
He switches off his phone, now staring back at you. Your eyes fall, he's always intimidating. You couldn't blame him, you were always intimidated.
"What?" you croaked.
"What do you mean what? What's your plan?"
"My plan? Why do I have to make the plans?" Your fingers find the hem of your thin baby blue shirt.
"Because you're the smarter one. How do I arrange all my shit? You got any idea?"
"Taehyung, we've been doing this for ages. How come you still depend on me? There will come a day that I won't be here anymore and the only person you could depend on is yourself." Was it seeing the cigarettes that raised your voice, or remembering that he threw your handmade bracelet? You couldn't care less.
He was quiet. Then he opens his mouth, and he's quiet again.
"You sound like my mom," he says, meaning to tease you as if he hadn't used that for the hundredth time. "Was your date last night that bad? I told you you should come with Hoseok and I on Valentine's, we had an amazing night at Jungkook's crib."
There he goes again, ignorant of your troubles. Classic selfish Tae, the exact same one who stood you up on homecoming because he spent it having sex with Tilly Janes in his car. You're still upset about it, he didn't even think of going inside to give you at least a minute to dance with somebody on the dance floor.
"Mind telling me what happened? Did you get laid?"
"Do you ever think of maybe you shouldn't ask such inappropriate questions to someone?"
"Fine," almost tired in his tone.
And you spend a few more minutes in silence, guessing each other's thoughts with the way both your gaze lands on the floor. He clears his throat and forgets what he's about to say. You wish you didn't cancel your nail appointment today just to be with your best friend who still, in no surprise, doesn't have a single plan in his life.
Taehyung suggests he buys a stock from the grocery first, and when he says stock he means an awful lot of Oreo cookies and Lays. You agreed with him and he gets dressed, though the soles of your feet still hurt from walking in heels for three hours straight last night. If only you knew that Hyungwon would be bringing you to a walking spree, you wouldn't have worn a formal attire.
Taehyung spends his time choosing between peanut butter and double stuff. You tell him to pick the peanut butter one because you've never seen him finish the double stuff, he always throws the leftovers saying it was too sweet. He ignores your opinion and chooses the double stuff over the peanut butter.
He asks you again whether he should buy milk or pineapple juice instead, and you tell him to pick milk because whoever drinks pineapple is a monster. He nods in affirmation, commenting about how pineapple has a really weird aftertaste. And he brings the milk back to the shelf, putting the pineapple juice in the cart.
"You should dress like that." He points at a mannequin dressed in sportswear.
"You don't tell me what to wear, young man. I don't even jog."
"I'm just saying you'd look hotter." He scans you head to toe and your knees weaken a little.
He takes a route to the meat section, you already know why. He just wants to brag about being a vegan. Jungkook had convinced him last month to finally turn vegan, and he's been talking about it non-stop.
"I can't stand the smell of meat anymore, it's disgusting." He pinches his nose, wrinkles forming on his face.
"Okay, Mr. Vegan. We get it." You rolled your eyes.
"No, really. It's making me vomit," he says, nasally.
"Just make sure that once I cook chicken alfredo, your mouth wouldn't water."
Upon reaching the counter, Taehyung approaches the magazines and candy bars, leaving you in line.
What does he need this time?
And when you're up next in line, he comes back with a tight fist, hiding an item as he crosses his arms.
He thought he was sleek, but when he throws the condoms next to the Oreos, you couldn't help but laugh.
"You're buying condoms after Valentine's Day?" You throw your hand to your mouth, suppressing an uncontrollable laughter. "Did you run out last night or you're only getting laid today?" you added.
"Do you ever think of maybe you shouldn't ask such inappropriate questions to someone?"
You sighed. "But seriously, I know you wanna answer that question."
In the mood, you poke at his waist and he flinches like a worm. Taehyung was cocky, but he can be cute sometimes in ways he doesn't intend to.
"I ran out last night. Lucky you who don't need to buy another one since none of your dates ever pass your standards."
You couldn't point it out in what he said that made your heart throb, it felt a little offensive. Taehyung knows so much about you, it can get scary when he opens his mouth. What's he thinking right now? Cute little y/n, no one's ever good enough for her fragile heart. Cute little y/n, always finds a mistake in every part.
"That's not true, you know? I just don't settle that easily."
The corners of his lips lift, eyes rolling in disbelief. He was skinning you alive with that gaze, annoyed. He has a sarcastic smile sprawled all over his face, you just wanna punch it away.
On the way home, you thought about what he said for a second... For a while. You thought about it for a while. Was Taehyung right? Was his perception of you correct? Whatever it was, it did hurt. All you ever did for Taehyung was to be a good friend, and he gave nothing in return. You weren't expecting anything, but deep inside you knew Taehyung loves you just as much as you love him. But like every other person, insecurity gets in the way in relationships.
Maybe Taehyung doesn't even treat you as a friend.
No, you argued inside your head.
Sure, you've seen him in his most vulnerable moments. You've seen him break and you've seen him fall, you've seen him lose the inner parts of his soul. You've seen Taehyung happy, and you will always remember that specific laugh he lets out whenever he pretends something is funny. You know that he blinks when he curses because his body rejects it. He told you about his broken dream of becoming an astrologist, and you daydreamed together about the stars and the way they collide like magical dusts.
Maybe Taehyung doesn't know you like you know him.
Before the thought gets answered, Taehyung was already groaning as he puts the bags down to his counter. You had forgotten you arrived.
"We should start with your room. I'll place your clothes in your closet and you go arrange your miscellaneous."
He doesn't nod. Why won't he nod? God, please, Taehyung, just agree with me once.
He remains standing with both his hands on either sides of his waist and he does nothing else. Still standing feet away from you, just knitted brows and a stern expression that you couldn't read. What is it this time?
"How was it?" His arms cross on the buff his chest, waiting for a response as he tries to read your reaction the same way you're reading where he's coming from.
"How was what?"
"The sex, y/n. Was it so bad you're in a bad mood today?" A laugh pauses in his throat, replaced by a rise of the corner of his lips.
It was a tug, or maybe a push, in your stomach that made your minds do wonders of spins. Such an unpredictable person Taehyung is.
There was nothing to deliberate inside your mind, nothing happened last night. Hyungwon went home without a kiss on his lips, and you're limbs gave out due to the amount of walking.
"There's no sex. We didn't have sex."
"Let me guess, he insulted your outfit? If not, he probably split the check." His index finger extends, eyes wrinkling to get out any more ideas from his dirty little head.
"Can you just- Ugh! What's with you and your insults?"
"How was that an insult? I was guessing which of what he did didn't pass your golden standard."
"If I had a better standard, maybe you wouldn't be my friend." Ouch. It wasn't directed to you but sometimes you just want to dissolve after saying something.
"I'm your friend because you have a high standard." He wasn't offended, not a single bit from what you have said. Was Taehyung that oblivious of how miserable he is? "If we weren't friends, I'm pretty sure I could get inside your pants."
You hoped he regret what he said, just as much as you wanted to dissipate earlier.
"I'm sorry, Taehyung. But my 'golden standard' would never, and I can't stress this enough, let you get in my pants, in an alternate universe where we aren't friends."
"Lies. Lies. Lies. I could easily get you swooning for me in just a matter of seconds, y/n. Stop, and I can't stress this enough, lying."
"Sure, Taehyung. Whatever you want me to fucking say." You turned your back on him to get a grip of yourself. You grunt, you shudder, and you sighed.
Cocky. Bastard. You could join those words together and it would still perfectly describe Taehyung. Perhaps you have a list of two words that could go either independently or together they'd still describe Taehyung well.
Arrogant. Pervert.
Overconfident. Asshole.
Striking. Idiot.
Son. Of. A. Bitch. I. Just. Want. To. Punch. Him.
He places a grip on your arm to spin you to him. "I want you to say it," with a guttural voice coming from the pits of somewhere within his diaphragm, it's crazy how smooth it escaped from his lips.
"Saywhat?" as opposed to yours that escaped with so much tremble and crisp, thinner than air.
"Consent," he began. "I'm pretty sure I can reach your standard."
It was probably a bad idea. And a bad idea is followed by a spontaneous drive to try it, that's how it's done in movies. You'd probably regret it, right? But you'd regret it more if you don't get a chance to prove Taehyung wrong.
Fine. He needs a wake up call. He needs to wake up from that delusion he'd built inside his towering cocky arrogant head, no pun intended, that he's not every girl's cup of tea.
"You know what? Sure. What do you want me to do? Ride you? Then give you a blowjob after not finding the clit-"
He pulls you, hand reaching your lower back to push his groin toward your front. You were far behind than he was, Taehyung was already hard and eager. His lips were hot, warm around the tip of your tongue that vividly tastes the mint and smoke he had had earlier this morning. It was evident in the sloppiness of his kiss, swiftness of his wandering hands, and blazing fire underneath the lust of his eyes, Taehyung isn't exactly as what you have thought him to be.
The men you've slept with before, they were a floating fish in the sea. But Taehyung brings you sea deep into the weakness of your knees, the floor may have shaken 'cause you find yourself falling on his body and he catches you just perfectly, bodies molding with each other on the floor. Taehyung grips your thigh, to the north his hand traveled, his thumb harshly caressing your slit.
The position made it hard for him to move, he was struggling to reach every part of your body as he would have wanted so he pushed your body, and you look him in the eyes with question, both hands resting on his chest as he continues to play with your clit. He earns a sly grunt from you and he'd do anything to hear it again.
Then he was standing, carrying your body to the nearest stool he could find, desperate and quick. With one sharp thrust to lock you in position, he inhales the moan that went from your lips to his throat. Then he stops. He stopped.
"Moaning already, are we?" He lifts his brow, a crease forming on his forehead.
"Can you just get to it?"
He laughs. "That's not exactly how I always do it. I like to take my time."
You punch his shoulder, a questioning look taking over his features. Embarrassment flows through you. "This was a mistake."
He kisses you again, eating whatever insult was about to come out of your mouth. He wants to whisper it, that thing he have always wanted to tell you, in between kisses. Because now that he's got you under his touch, his tongue is burning just to say it. To distract himself, he digs into your waist deeper, sinking those three little words under your skin hoping you'd realize it.
You pull away, pushing him away from you. "Something wrong?" His nails have left their mark before you could figure out.
"No, no. Nothing's wrong."
There is though. You're not a stranger to not know the look on Taehyung's face. You recognize this one, it happened before. The trembling lips and crimson cheeks. They bring you back the day after prom, the day after Tilly Janes took his innocence.
"What happened last night?" you asked him, arms crossed against your chest.
"I'm so sorry I didn't come-"
"You came Tae. You came hard, didn't you? I can't believe you convinced me to go to prom just so you can leave me in there alone."
"I didn't want to. Listen, okay, I realized something last night."
"I don't need your apology, Taehyung. I don't need it. Jimin took me home last night."
"What? Why?"
"Why? Because some asshole left me without a ride. That's why!"
"I was looking for you last-"
"Shut it. He asked me on a date. So thank God, I'm at least in a good mood today to not flame on you."
"He asked you on a date? Are you going?"
Trembling lips and crimson cheeks. He gulped so hard you heard it.
"I am. Hey, are you okay?"
"I just can't believe someone would even ask you out. I'll be going, forget I came."
It's the same face, the same gulp. You put your hand on his cheek, like what a mom would do to an injured child, and he holds it so you won't ever let go of his face.
"We can stop. I know. This was a bad idea. We shouldn't have done it."
He shakes his head, his other hand creeping behind you. He latches his lips onto yours again, pulling your shirt up to reveal your stomach. The kiss was different, a touch of hunger for affection. A slow open one, mostly the breaths clashing in a soft whisper.
"I want you, y/n. I want you," he whispered to your mouth. You push him to the couch, straddling him and he groans in satisfaction. He pulls you closer, enough for his chin to land on your chest and he looks up in pure admiration of you.
There was more behind the words he said, but with the heat pooling in between your thighs, you couldn't care less as of now. It's something you'll resolve after. He tucks a strand of your hair as he makes thrusts underneath you, the thick cotton of his sweats didn't do anything to conceal his cock aching for you.
You remove his shirt, not being able to take your eyes away from his body. Sweet and honey under your gaze, he tenses them and you couldn't help but laugh at this. Kissing every inch of his exposed skin, you kneel as your knees approach the floor, not breaking eye contact with Taehyung while untying his sweats. His hand fails to fall steady on your arm and his Adam's apple bob in anticipation.
There's warmth that spreads across your stomach, different from the one in between you thighs. It's like electricity that continuously ignites a fire inside you when you notice his excitement, eager to have your mouth around him. A sign of reciprocation that he wants this just as much as you do no matter how hard you try to deny it, a catching fire of the thought that maybe he looks at you the way you look at him throughout all these years. Even now that you're not looking in his eyes, the continuous ignition of sparks inside you still teases.
You reach for his length, softly wrapping it in your hand and his breath quickens along with your heartbeat. Studying every detail, even the cold tones of the veins that spreads like tree roots. In usual occasions, giving head never takes your time. You suck it and finish it, no more and no less, nothing special really. But it's Taehyung, and his difference from others makes you uncomfortable in a way it shouldn't be possible. Trying to forget these unnecessary emotions, your thumb circles the head of his cock and he couldn't help but make his lip bleed, the agony of it keeping him awake to not fall into your dreamy touch.
His shorts reaches the floor and you made it quick to to kiss the base of his glistening length. Your index finger making lines on his thigh while the other keeps his cock steady as your lips move upward. You've never imagined how he would taste, but you were always sure he tastes exactly like he tastes now. Bittersweet. He throbs at the heat of your breath, thighs almost jumping when your fingers find his balls. He emits a groan that strengthens the force you're putting in your thighs to keep your core intact.
Down you go, the head of his cock deepening in your throat just like his grunts, getting lower and lower until he thrusts upwards making you gag and he releases a high-pitched whimper of your name. Tears blur your vision and a moan sends minimal vibration to his cock.
"I don't think... y/n, fuck, I'm not gonna last long," he confessed, and you finally look up to see him without removing him from your mouth.
You tongue swirling still and he has gone rabid trying to control himself, clenching your hair as he lets himself go maniac against your throat. He stares at you with mad eyes, his mouth failing in keeping him quiet. Only his groans, his throat-fucking, and your whimpers that you can no longer suppress. You're a little scared maybe he'll get too confident and tease you on your gagging, calling himself so big he made you cry.
He pulls your hair and he tries to get a hold of himself, catching his breath to gain stability. Before you can wipe the corners of your lips, he was standing up and taking your shirt off. He frames his chin with his index finger and his thumb, making you grow conscious of your own body. He had no reason to be looking so long, he'd seen you in a two piece more than one occasion. And he's going behind you, putting a finger at the waist of your shorts, bringing it down slowly until it lands by itself. He wraps your hair in a pony as the other grips your ass, a throaty growl escaping from his body.
He rotates you to the other side, an empty blank wall where you can see the fool you made of yourself. The argument ends here. The argument has ended since he had kissed you like no one had kissed you. You shouldn't have underestimated Taehyung, because he's now biting your shoulder as he slowly descends you to the wall. He hums, this close he can hear the tiny whimpers you try to keep to yourself, your fragile voice that can break once you open your mouth to say something. He can hear them all and he's aware of the power he has over you.
A hand holds both of yours behind your back, and once he has successfully taken your white underwear off, he's positioning the fat head of his cock right in your entrance.
"Make it easier for the both of us and just say it, y/n," he commands, his breath echoing in your ear sending voltage in your spine. He bites your ear and he whispers again, "Baby, please."
"What?"
Taehyung laughs at your adorable cluelessness. He doesn't answer. The next thing you hear was the expansion of his breaths, getting heavier and heavier it's almost a hum as he slides himself inside you.
"Taehyung," you say in a falsetto, "god, Tae, fuck!"
"Hmm, fucking tight. You're so fucking tight, y/n. Your pussy's taking my cock so fucking well," his knees bend to enter you deeply, this sharp thrust hitting a spot in you you never knew you'd feel, "maybe now you'd let me fuck you often, huh? You're gonna take my cock anytime you want, I'll fuck your brains out, ruin you and your cunt."
You respond with a soft murmur of you're not entirely sure what, because Taehyung was already fucking your brains out and you had no other thoughts but the feeling of his cock that slips in out of you so easily. He'd hit that one spot and you're going to release yet another cry and he'd enjoy every note of it. You're a mess with strands of your hair sticking to your face as the sweat trickle down your temples.
"Tell me what you want, y/n. Want it fast, baby?" He speeds up his thrusts, your ah's getting louder as he almost sends you to your high. "Or you want to cherish every inch of my cock?" He slows down which brings you wailing, whimpering his name over and over until you're no longer sure if it's even coming out right. His free hand lands on your ass and you gasp as if inhaling after suffocation. "Answer me," he speeds up his pace again, "answer me, y/n."
But you couldn't, there's nothing in your body that you trust right now especially your voice. He growls, unsatisfied with your silence which leads him to pulling your hair and pushing your back to the wall. You're almost embarrassed to see his eyes once more in the state you're in, overpowered by the despair of wanting nothing but to have Taehyung take you to your climax. Your eyes are begging for him, hell there were tears coming from them as he enters you again.
He cries out, "I want to fuck you all day long, would you let me do that?" He continues to carry you upward the wall and your weight would go down whenever he pulls himself from you. You nod and as he sees this, his head moves back to watch your body crumble before him, giving him no more than satisfaction. "Look at you desperate for my cock, such a fucking whore for me, aren't ya?"
In every "hm" he makes, he enters you harder and rougher, makes you want to stay silent. You bite your lip, feeling yourself come to a close. Your thighs pulling together like magnets, wrapping his waist while it shakes and he doesn't take one second to land your body on the couch, watching your orgasm hit you with spasms traveling your whole body. Taehyung wraps his cock in his hand, moving toward your mouth as he jerks himself off to his own orgasm. You take the spurts of his fluid landing on your tongue, his waist twitching while he groans for each drop of cum.
He sighs, falling onto the couch where your legs are still apart. He smiles at your nakedness, not giving a second thought as his middle finger enters you once more. Your body sits straight, only to land on the sofa's arm. "You're so fucking pretty," he commented, his body hovering over yours again. He kisses you.
"I can't handle," you say before Taehyung cuts you off with another kiss, and another, and another, his finger in and out of you which as the minute grows only turns from pain into pleasure again.
"You're going to," he whispers and he kisses you again, until you're crying his name and he just studies the way you react to his slender finger. "So pretty, so, so," he curves his finger resulting to your second orgasm, "pretty." He makes sure you see his savoring your juices in his mouth, and once he was done lapping up his finger he puts them inside your lips, tasting nothing but his saliva.
"Do you get it now, y/n?" He unclasps your bra, and from then on he ignores your eyes. "This is why I run out of condoms."
#kim taehyung#kth#taehyung smut#taehyung imagine#taehyung x reader#bts smut#bts fic#drabble#bts x reader#taehyung fic
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A Little Braver ch.6
Here we go with chapter 6. I edited but if you see any typos I am sorry I had a long day at work.
During the call they attend in the chapter they mention a substance called ANFO. Click here for more info. I did some research hopefully it makes sense. I am no an expert but I needed something for the scene.
Our two idiots... well, I hope you will be happy (for now) *evil laughter*
I hope you will enjoy the chapter
-------------
Three months later.
Rowan landed back at the airbase in the morning. The carrier had docked on the coast a few hours earlier on and then they had flown back to the base with their jets.
He got off his plane and smelled the air of home. Winter had given way to spring and he could smell flowers and wondered if the kingsflames were in bloom already.
“Damn it feels good to be back.” Shouted Gavriel getting off his jet and stretching his back “I am dying for a very long relaxing bath. And peace, without you idiots annoying me.”
“Oh yeah,” said Fenrys “Not having to hear Connall and Vaughan snore will be so good.” He turned to Rowan and Gavriel “Not everyone has the rank to get their own quarters.”
Rowan pretended not to hear the youngster and started walking around his aircraft to do his post-flight checks. He had enough of their bickering and of Fenrys moaning in general.
“Guys.” He bellowed “Less talking and do your post-flight checks.”
“Someone is grumpy.” Added Fenrys.
Connall slapped him on the back of his neck “don’t anger the man even further. Now shut up and do your job. I am so tired of your voice.”
Rowan silently thanked Connall for putting his twin in place.
Once he was done, Rowan grabbed his duffel bag and went to the changing room and took a shower. He would take a proper one at home, for now he just wanted to remove some dirt from him.
The changing room was busy and he opened his locker with a sigh. He definitely needed peace and quiet and not to be in close quarters for a while.
“I am so looking forward to my month off.” Commented Gavriel “and decent food. I want to sit down for a meal for more than ten minutes.” Then he turned to Rowan “Any plans?”
“Not really.” He shrugged.
“Are you going to see your captain?”
“I don’t know.” He said quickly. He did his best to put her out of his mind during those months away. To ignore those pesky feeling that had been taking root in him even while far away from her. He had hated how he left her and throwing himself into work had been the best way to try and forget. But now he was back and he felt as if he was stuck.
He put his uniform back on and grabbed his stuff “Just stay out of trouble,” he told them before leaving the room.
While walking to his office he pulled his mobile out of the bag, switched it back on and a barrage of notifications hit him and two voicemails awaited him. The first one was from Aelin and she was mad at him. How could he blame her. He had disappeared without a word. How could he even begin to apologise? When he listened to the second and a glimmer of hope appeared in front of him. She wanted to talk. He grabbed his stuff and blitzed out of the airbase. The taxi he had called arrived ten minutes later and once at the station he paid the driver and got off, his duffel bag on his shoulder. An array of emotions passed through him while he moved the first step in the direction of the firehouse, panic being at the top of the list.
He lifted his sunglasses on his head and took in the scene in the distance. Two fire engines were parked in front of the yard. Aelin and the rest of the team were washing them, the day was sunny and mild so the perfect occasion. He chuckled and noticed that she was standing. She was walking normally and he sighed. Rowan found himself staring at her walking around the truck and shouting orders. She was just as stunning as he remembered her. He missed her. He realised in that instant looking at her from far away that somehow, although there was nothing but vitriol between the two, he just missed her. Was his heart actually racing?
Aelin lifted her gaze for one instant and in the distance on the pavement she noticed a tall figure with silver hair. She squeezed the sponge and threw it in the bucket, then stood and marched to him doing all her best to maintain her cool to try and pass as aloof and not minimally interested that he was back. A lie to herself she struggled to believe.
“I am back safely.” He said when she was close enough.
“Well, at least you can do your job well enough to stay alive.” Her tone was hard and unforgiving.
Of course she was still mad at him, what was he expecting?
“Follow me.” She turned around and began walking back inside the station and Rowan knew she was headed for her office. Better have some privacy, he had a feeling he was not going not enjoy the conversation.
“Sit,” she ordered, once inside her office and he complied like a good soldier.
She moved around the desk and plopped on her chair.
“Aelin I—“
“No, you don’t get to go first,” annoyance quite thick in her voice “You left.” She sat up straight “you left me at the hospital and left again three days later for your mission and neither time you bothered to tell me why. You left.” She searched for his gaze and looked at his pine green eyes “Do you have any idea how I felt when I fully woke up and found out you never got back?” She told him unleashing all the anger she had bottled up while he was away “I went to your airbase and I was told by one of the guards that you all had gone for a week already.” She was not shouting but her tone was full of annoyance toward him.
Rowan had thought over and over again how he could apologise to her, but doing so it would mean reveal his secret and he was not sure he could. He should expose his fears and come clean with her, she had lost, just like him, she would understand his struggle.
Eventually he stood and started pacing “I heard what you said in the hospital… about your feelings. And I panicked.” He stopped for a moment “I freaked out because…” he collapsed on the chair, his head in his hands and Aelin knew exactly why but she had to hear him say it.
He had to do it, be a little braver and tell her why he fled, it was his only chance if he even contemplated the idea of being with her or to have any kind of relationship.
“I am scared of getting involved again.” He sighed deeply and Aelin saw pain in his eyes “Over a year and a half ago I lost my wife.” He confessed and Aelin gripped her hands under the table to avoid crying. “She died in a car crash. It was winter and the roads were bad and she just… lost control of the car according to the police.” He looked away for a second “Lyria was also pregnant.” His voice trembled for a moment. “I was away. I was on the other side of the continent when it happened. I left my pregnant wife alone.”
Aelin’s eyes became wet all of a sudden.
“She was going to leave me.” He admitted painfully and Aelin almost gasped at the unexpected ammission “a few days before I left I was looking for something for her in her drawer and saw the papers. She had all the documents ready to file for divorce, my signature was the only thing missing. She had also a letter from her lawyer saying that she would win full custody of our child since, because of my job, I was not fit to look after a child. I would probably win to see my child from time to time.” He stood again “I never told her that I had found out. I left for my mission and she didn’t even come to the airbase with me as she used to do in the past.” He ran his hand through his hair “I loved her. But apparently not enough.” He stopped again as if to gather his thoughts “I got a short compassionate leave and when I got back I just threw myself into work. It kept my mind busy. Since then I haven’t been with anyone.”
“I know.” Aelin whispered and he look at her in a strange way”About the accident, I mean.” She said softly.
“One day I was curious and I looked you up.” She stood and went around the table and sat at the front, facing him. No barriers between them “I read about your wife. Then I read the article about her accident.” She hoped she was not to mess up this one “I recognised our engine in one of the photos from the article.
His gaze widened.
“My team and I attended the accident.” And stared at him but his expression was illegible “It was bad. Only one person survived that night. I had nightmares about it for a week. She… your wife… I think she did not suffer much. I know it’s not much consolation, but from the dynamics it was probably instantaneous.”
Rowan looked at her and she saw tears in his eyes.
“I still have the file.”
“No.” He said calmly “I don’t think I can.”
She took a step to him and took his hand in hers “I know the pain” it was time for her confession. It was only fair.
Rowan looked at her and remembered about the man she had lost.
“His name was Sam. He was a firefighter and a captain at west station. I lost him over a year ago. He attended a call. We could not assist straight away because we were busy on another one. Once we were done we ran in their help. I was too late.” She buried her face in her hands “when I got there they were just carrying his body outside the building.” She looked at him “he did not die a nice death. He suffered and I was not there. I was too late to help him.” She squeezed his hand “I know your pain and your fears because they are the same as mine.” She took another step toward him “losing Sam almost destroyed me. I can’t go through that a second time.”
“How do you get out of the abysm?” He asked tenderly, both with eyes moist.
“One step at a time.” She added and her body was now almost close to his.
Rowan hesitated for an instant then his arm reached out and pulled her closer “Together, then” he whispered, leaning his chin on her head “we can try together.”
“Yeah…” she whispered, her hands against his chest “I am sorry I was mad at you.”
“Shhh… I deserved it.”
She leaned closer and inhaled his scent of pine and snow. He always smelled of home.
“I am sorry I was always so mean to you. I think I was just trying to push you away and keep my distance.”
Aelin smiled and with her fingers brushed his name tag “I think we both did our best to show our unpleasant side.”
She felt him tighten his arms around her “Can we please not? I don’t mean not fighting because I have a feeling that we might get into a few fights from time to time. I mean stop being actually nasty to each other.” He admitted and she felt his thumb tracing circles on her back “whatever this is… I want to give it a go. If you are okay of course,”
She looked up at him and saw a faint smile that reached his eyes. Even with a small smile the man was stunning. She didn’t want to think about with a proper smile.
“Yeah. I want to. I am still terrified, though.”
“That makes two of us.”
“So, where do we start, captain?”
“You owe me two so what about we start with me taking you out for dinner and then we move from there?”
Aelin chuckled “Do you have your mortgage ready?”
He smiled. He gave her an actual real smile and Aelin had to restrain her instinct to slam him against the door and have her way with him.
“The bank apparently does not offer mortgages to pay for meals.” He pulled back a bit to look at her “are you free tomorrow night? I am on my month off so I am totally free.”
Aelin nodded “yes, we will be coming off night shift around 9am. I can go home, sleep and I will see you at night.”
“I still have your address. Can I pick you up at seven?”
“I think I will be alive again by that time.”
“What do we say to our friends if they ask?”
“None of their business.”
He looked down at her “I like it.”
They pulled apart and Aelin went back to sitting on the desk and him on the chair “So your knee is okay again?”
“Yes, physio was a bitch but it’s getting better. The guys, as a joke, gave me kneepads.”
She saw him smile and she realised she would say all sort of stupid things to see that reaction in him. The result left her breathless.
“And you performance review?”
She gave him the biggest grin ever “We crushed it. Absolutely nailed it and I am so proud of my team”
“I had no doubts.” He leaned back on the chair “and I see that you got another engine. That must be great news for you guys.”
She nodded “we got it two weeks ago. It was all thanks to the protest after the embankment fire. Dorian pushed and he got it.” She took a pen and tapped it on her knee “we still don’t have a full team, so at the moment we use it if the situation requires it and we split our team and Aedion leads it. It’s not optimal but the team is coming,” she explained “west is giving us half of their experienced team in their second truck and they are taking half rookies so we’ll both have a truck of mixed crews. Again, not the best but we can’t have an engine with all newbies.”
“That is wonderful.”
“You interview helped as well. The one outside the hospital.”
He looked away for a moment “they made me so mad. Giving all the credit to us when we did very little. I had to.”
“Thank you.”
In that instant the dispatch alarm went off.
“Shit.” She jumped off the table “Don’t go anywhere. There’s a tv, a kitchen. Stay here.”
He nodded and grabbed her hand “Be safe, please.”
She nodded and ran outside.
“There you are. You are the last one here.” Joked Aedion while they were both getting ready.
“She was with her captain.” Added Ansel with a wicked smile.
“Uh, getting nasty in the office?” Added Brullo.
Aelin opened the door and jumped in the engine at her seat “stop behaving like children and jump in the bloody truck right now.”
“Aedion, you lead the second one. ”
Rowan noticed the two engines and the ambulance drive away and once they were away he wandered around the empty space.
He walked around the deserted station and tried to discover more about that interesting team. He walked back the same way as her office and found a corridor that lead to their beds. On a wall there were pictures of the whole team. He stared at Aelin’s picture. She had the most beautiful grin and it was so like her. He smiled at her and traced his step back to the resting area. He sat on the sofa and switched on the tv and on the news he saw a raging fire as breaking news and he guessed that’s where they were going. The headline quoted a fire in an explosive warehouse near a quarry. It looked terrifying.
“Aedion,” said Aelin over the radio “we are going to the warehouse near the quarry. Explosives. This is your kingdom.”
“I saw it. Dispatch confirmed west is coming as well. It must be bad for four engines.”
They arrived at the site five minutes later.
Aelin jumped off the truck “Fuck.” Was her first reaction at the scene in front of them.
In the distance she heard the evacuation sirens for the quarry. West station arrived a moment later.
The fire was raging. Luckily the warehouse was near a quarry and away from inhabited areas, that at least was a start.
She saw a man with a high visibility jacket and ran to him.
“Captain Galathynius.” She introduced herself.
“Captain. I am the manager.” He explained “We evacuated the quarry in time as soon as we heard the first explosion. The warehouse team was loading a new load of explosives to be sent to the quarry. Something must have gone wrong. We lost contact with the team in the north wing where we store the explosives.”
Aedion arrived a moment later “what are we dealing with?”
“Mostly ANFO.” Replied the manager “it was meant to be moved.”
“Do you store any other agent or fuels?”
The manager nodded “but in a separate section. Something must have gone wrong while carrying it away. ANFO must have been in contact with any of the other fuels we use. ANFO is just an oxidiser” the manager explained and Aedion nodded aware of how ANFO worked.
“How many people do you have in the warehouse?’ Asked Aelin trying to assess the situation.
“About 60 and I have 40 accounted for.”
“We’ll get them out.” She said. Grabbed Aedion’s arm and walked away.
“Still twenty people inside. You are the expert. What are the chances I can send the team in and make it out alive?”
“Heat will cause ANFO to detonate. The fire is spreading qui—“
Another savage explosion ravaged the area. The blast so strong that the aftershock was felt quite a distance away. Aedion had pulled Aelin down on the ground and when they lifted their heads they noticed the rest of the team had done the same.
“Thomas,” she shouted while standing up “Connect to the water supply and get the water going and keep the temperature down as much as you can.”
He nodded and spurred his team into action.
“Aedion, you and I are going in.”
The man nodded.
“Luca, Brullo, keep the water going as well. We need to cool down the place as much as possible.” Then she walked to Thomas “Aedion and I are going in. There are still twenty people trapped. We’ll see if we can do something. Call dispatch and order all the units they can send in.”
“You can’t be serious.” The other captain protested “Dorian will not be happy.”
“I am.” she said finishing to don her gear fully “we’ll se you on the flip side. Keep the water coming.”
He stared at her and Aedion ran to the area less affected by the fire. It was a suicide mission and Dorian was not going to be happy.
Back at the station, Rowan was on the edge of his seat. He had felt the explosion, heard it mostly. He kept staring at the screen where he had seen Aelin and Aedion running into the building and his heart raced to the point of pain. There was no way there was anyone alive in that inferno. Why was she risking her life like that?
The four engines were woking hard channeling as much water as possible on the building but from his perspective it seemed like the fire was not yielding at all. He stood and started pacing.
In that moment Lorcan called him “Are you seeing the news about the fire?”
“Yeah.” Rowan replied not removing his eyes from the tv.
“They are there.”
“I know.” Rowan felt sick “Aelin just went in.”
“Are you at home?” The man on the line asked.
“No, at the station.”
“Let me know when they are back.”
Rowan hung up and resumed his pacing.
Dorian arrived on the scene and ran to Thomas as soon as he noticed the captain.
“Where are they?” He asked with panic in his voice.
Thomas inclined his head and indicated the building and Dorian swore savagely.
“How long? I got an update on my way here.”
“Five minutes.” Added the captain directing the water to another area of the building “I have called for more units. Two more are on their way.”
“That is not enough,” raged Dorian grabbing his phone. He walked away calling someone. When he came back he was slightly less furious “Being the chief has its perks. All the units available are coming in. This is not—“ another explosion.
Much stronger than the previous one. A mushroom of yellow fire went up in the sky and the blast rocked the ground all the way to Orynth.
“Chief to Captain. Aelin please come in.” No answer.
“Aelin, damn answer that bloody radio.” He started pacing nervously and a hand ran through his hair “Aedion, come in.”
“Fuck, fuck.”
In that instant the sound of sirens filled the air.
Dorian turned and saw a long line of engines filing down the main track.
He ran to the station captains and started shouting orders. The other engines deployed around the warehouse and started tackling the fire.
Thomas joined Dorian “I am going in. My men are manning the engine and the hoses. I am going to get them out.”
“No you are not.” The tone in Dorian’s word was harsh “I am not having another one of my captains in that building. They should not be inside in the first place.”
“We have still twenty civilians trapped inside.”
“Captain, you and I have done this job for a while. You know better than me that with three such explosions the chances someone inside is still alive are slim. We stop the fire and hope they are safe.”
“Do nothing?” Thomas shouted “How the fuck do you expect me to do nothing?”
“I am the chief, I am ordering.”
Thomas stormed away and resumed his position with the attack lines with the rest of his team.
“Aedion?” Aelin’s voice was faint. She removed the pile of debris from her body and tried to stand “Aedion?” She called again, panic rising. The smoke and fire were making visibility non existent “AEDION.” She shouted.
A moment later she heard a groan and noticed his bulking figure sprawled on the floor. She ran to him and saw he was awake “answer me for fuck’s sake.”
He removed his mask “my oxygen tank is bust.”
She removed hers and passed it to him “use mine, I still have some juice left.”
“We need to get out.”
“We haven’t found anyone.”
“Aelin,” he breathed removing the mask and giving it back to her “we need to get out. Another explosion like the last one and we are roast. And the fumes are bad. We don’t have long.”
“Fine.” She helped him stand. Slowly they tried to navigate their way through the fire and smoke.
The radio crackled static as they took a few steps deeper in the inferno.
“I heard something.” Aelin moved to the sound and Aedion followed. They found a heavy door and opened it slowly. Inside they found the twenty workers still missing.
“Is anyone injured?”
A woman nodded and showed her leg that clearly had a fracture and then pointed at at another man who lay unconscious.
“We’ll get you out of here.” She looked at their scared faces “pull up you clothes and cover mouth and noses” then she crouched down and offered the woman a piggyback. Aedion placed the unconscious man on his shoulder. She started to walk but one of the workers stopped her “This way.” They walked to a door that was locked.
“It’s a secondary route. It will take us to some tunnels underneath.”
Aelin looked at Aedion and the man nodded. It was their only option. They deposited their victims on the ground and with their axes they started knocking down the heavy door. Once through they recovered the people and walked on “stay behind us. Do not walk away form the big man behind me. Hold hands and form a line like at school.”
The civilians nodded and followed. The tunnels were full of smoke. They needed to be quick. The fumes from ANFO were toxic. Her oxygen tank started beeping and she knew she had ran out of juice as well.
“This way,” said the man who seemed to know about the tunnels “these were used in the olden days when we still used dynamite to blast the quarry. They would carry it under here. Apparently it was safer than outside were there were people everywhere. They never had any accident.”
Aelin followed the man with apprehension, everyone had started coughing quite badly.
“How far?”
“Not long. We are almost out. My dad was a worker here in the olden days. He told me everything about the tunnels.”
She heard Aedion cough behind her and she followed next.
Then she felt it. The breeze and a few minutes later the tunnel opened up right in front of the quarry. Everyone collapsed exhausted and took great gulps of air. Aelin looked up and saw the fire was diminishing and gasped when she noticed the crazy amount on fire engines.
“Captain, Thomas,” she croaked, while her chest spasmed in another fit of coughing.
“Chief, captain, where are you?”
Fuck, of course Dorian was there. Lovely, a dressing down from him was all she needed “In front of the quarry, we found some tunnels. We have all civilians with us.” And her coughing resumed savagely.
Dorian walked to the manager “my men saved your trapped civilians. They mentioned some tunnels.”
The manager nodded “follow me,” they reached some SUVs, Dorian jumped in and they started driving. Not long after they stopped in a car park and Dorian in the distance noticed two firefighters uniforms.
“You damn fools,” he shouted when he was in close range “that was definitely one of the most stupid thing you two have ever done.”
Aelin coughed “Glad to see you too, buddy.”
Aedion stood “ two of the civvies are injured, the other ones just need to be checked.”
“Load them in the SUVs,” said the manager “we’ll take you all back to the main area with the EMTs.”
“Civilians first, Aedion and I can wait.” The man helped carry the survivors and sat back beside Aelin waiting for their turn and breathing deeply.
Dorian stood in front of them glaring “The whole fire department in the region has been mobilised for this.” He looked away “how did you two survive the two explosions?”
“We have super power.” She joked but from Dorian’s reaction she realised she had gone too far. The man was pissed.
“I should be mad at both of you and suspend you for being reckless.” He growled “Instead I will just keep on venting my displeasure for a few days more and also thank you for saving the civilians. But I am still displeased with you two. You do your job, you do not play heroes. Do you both read me in this?”
The two nodded silently without adding any comments to avoid angering Dorian even more.
The SUVs came back and both Aelin and Aedion made their way to the vehicles after the chief ordered them to get their arses back to their teams.
When they got back to where their team was cheers erupted.
Thomas passed his hose to a team member and ran to hug Aelin “you idiot. You damn idiot.”
“Such sweet words.” She joked patting the man on the back.
Aedion was dragged away by Lysandra for some checks and now Elide was pulling her jacket “come on, you will smooch later. Now I need to check on you. It’s protocol and you inhaled enough shit for today.”
Rowan noticed the black SUVs bring back some civilians and his worry grew when neither Aelin nor Aedion appeared. The flames were now under control thanks to the effort of all the engines involved.
Then he spotted her, her dirty blonde hair popping out of one of the SUVs that had just come back, and Aedion followed.
He collapsed on the sofa and finally let out the breath he had no idea he had been holding. She looked a mess but she was walking. She was fine. He saw the west captain ran for her and hug her and for a very brief second a pang of jealousy hit him. The he realised it was just a colleague being relieved to see they were alive.
Elide dragged Aelin away to the ambulance and he hoped Lorcan was following the news. Elide was petite but he had a feeling the woman had just as much fire as Aelin.
He relaxed and then he had an idea. He grabbed the phone and rang Gavriel “Hey man, listen I have an idea and I need your help.”
Aelin sat on a gurney in an ambulance, with an oxygen mask attached to her face.
“I am fine,” she complained, trying to remove it, but Elide slapped her hand.
“You are violent.”
“What were you two thinking? You and that idiot cousin of yours? Going inside that hell?” The woman complained checking again her blood pressure and oxygen levels.
“It’s our job.”
“Not when the bloody place is about to blow up. You scared the heck out of everyone.”
“How’s Aedion?”
“Probably getting beaten up by Lys.”
Aelin laughed and more coughing wrecked her body. When she reopened her eyes her entire team was in front of the ambulance “Don’t you two do that ever again. You crazy bastards.” Were the loving words coming from Ansel. Everyone nodded “Dorian had to call all the fire trucks in the area.” Explained Ress.
“I guess you two will soon receive another invite from the mayor.” Joked Nox and Aelin gasped.
Brullo looked at her with a grin “that’s what you get at playing damn heroes. Police has been stopping people coming any closer all night. There is a sea of reporters out there.”
“Don’t you have jobs to do?” Groaned Elide “let the woman recover.”
“I always forget how scary you can be Lochan.” Ren shouted back at her while walking away from them.
“How are you feeling? Can you breath better?”
Aelin nodded.
“Your oxygen levels are back to normal. Does it hurt when you breath?”
“No, I am fine.”
It was much, much later when they did manage to finally get back to the station. Aelin got off the truck and then a wall of muscles slammed into her and enveloped her in a fierce hug. She looked up and noticed a pair of green eyes staring at her. She leaned her head against his chest for a second and the smell of pine and snow hit her. His scent.
“Don’t do that ever again.” He whispered in her ear.
“Where you worried about me, captain?” Then she pulled back noticing her team staring at the two. Fuck, no one knew they had sort of reconciled.
“What is the arsehole doing here?” Shouted Aedion pulling Aelin away from Rowan.
“He was here before the call. I told him to wait for me. That’s why he is here. And his name is not arsehole.” She growled back at her cousin.
Then a few more people came out of the station and they recognised Rowan’s squadron.
“We made food. Gavriel is a great cook. We helped. I just thought that you might all be starving.”
“Damn he is good,” said Ansel looking at Rowan from top to bottom.
Lorcan looked at Elide and the woman smiled at him. He tried to smile back but he was nervous and instead walked back to the station with the rest of the group.
“They need domesticating,” commented Lysandra when she noticed her friend’s dejected expression “Let’s go, I hope the food is as good as last time.”
Rowan and Aelin were the only two left behind “Sorry I hugged you in public.”
She shook her head “It’s fine. It actually felt nice.” Then smiled “I just hope you are now ready for all the comments that are going to rain on us as soon as we get back in there.” She brushed his uniform “I covered you in soot.”
“I don’t care. I have never been more terrified in my life. And I had some hairy experiences in my job.”
“Sorry,” she looked down but she felt his fingers lift her chin.
“You were amazing. Totally insane, but I am in awe.”
He took her shoulder “come on, you need food and we got loads ready.”
Together they walked back and Aelin walked to the sink to wash her face. She wanted a shower but she wanted food more.
“Aedion you could have at least washed your face.” She sat beside Rowan and noticed her cousin’s state.
“I am hungry.”
“Lys, did you kiss him in that state?”
“Hell no,” said the woman taking a bite of her food “I gave him a pat on the back and told him to get his arse in the ambulance.”
“Uh, someone is not getting any tonight.” Chimed Ress and the group laughed.
“Probably more than you, boyo.”growled back Aedion without rising his gaze from his meal.
“Well, someone is definitely getting some,” added Fenrys and nodded to Aelin and Rowan who were just sitting normally eating their food, not even brushing against each other.
Rowan growled at the man and Aelin laughed.
“So what is it with you two?” Asked Elide curious.
Aelin and Rowan’s head popped up from their plates.
“You hugged, he did all of this, are you two dating and pretending to fight so we don’t annoy you?”
“We are just us for now.”explained Aelin “before the fire we talked.”
“We are figuring things out. No labels. No rush. One step at a time.” He grabbed Aelin’s hand under the table and turned to her “we will let things develop.”
“That’s boring.” Comment Aedion, mouth half full.
Aelin snorted out loud “You pined after Lysandra for two years. Two years of driving me crazy because you were head over heels for her but could not make up your mind.”
“Aelin.” Shouted the man.
“Two years?” Asked Lysandra “why you never told me?”
“You know him. He always tries to do the right thing. He kept telling himself that it was not proper since you worked together. I had to read him the regulations and tell him that EMTs are not under our chain of command so he was in the clear. Had it be Ansel, now that would have been an issue since he is her superior.” Explained Aelin who enjoyed the shift of the conversation moving away from her and Rowan.
“You are an idiot.”
She noticed Lorcan throwing glances at Elide and she elbowed Rowan but he had noticed as well.
Elide stared at Lorcan, then blushed savagely and went back to her food “this is amazing,” she said out loud.
“Lorcan made those.” Said Gavriel and Aelin was sure that the man had noticed the exchanges as well.
“So you are a good cook as well?”
Lorcan grunted but Connall elbowed him. A very brave manoeuvre considering that Lorcan was his boss.
“I live on my own. I need to know how to cook.” He managed, never looking at her.
Aelin texted Rowan is he always this bad at flirting?
She could hear Rowan silent laugh this is actually going well for his standards.
Aelin rolled her eyes “who has a house big enough with a garden that we can have a nice barbecue? All of us? Just to get to know each other?” Announced Aelin.
Gavriel raised his hand “I do. I have a big yard and I haven’t used my barbecue since last year.”
“Awesome. What about this Saturday?We are off and you guys are on your month off. So it’s perfect.”
“How do you know about our month off?” Asked Fenrys, staring at Rowan.
“Ro— Captain Whitethorn told me.”
“Oh, of course he did, didn’t he?”
She was going to slap Fenrys.
“Lieutenant, I don’t see why it might be any of your business what the captain and I talk about.” Rowan had put on his captain voice and Fenrys went back to his food.
“The barbecue sounds amazing, spring is in full swing.”
“Good,” said Aelin standing and going to the fridge “I think we all need it after tonight.” Then she brought a bottle of coke to the table “we can’t have wine because we are still on shift.”
“It’s fine,” said Vaughan “we are used to stay dry.” And he pointed at Rowan and Lorcan “their no booze policy is outrageous. We can’t even drink when we are off shift.”
“Blame the twins,” replied Rowan “they are the ones who got drunk, brought two girls on a heavily secure aircraft carrier, got busted and are still on active duty just because Lorcan and I saved their arses.”
“Oh yeah, that was epic.”
“So after that, Rowan and I decided to tighten things and now they can only drink once their mission is over and their arses are back on Terrasen.” Explained Lorcan.
“That’s brutal,” commented Aedion.
The twins had gone silent all of a sudden.
“It must be hard keeping big kids in place,” Elide asked Lorcan and the man attempted a smile at the woman.
“That’s why Rowan is the one who deals with that. He is the babysitter. The perks of rank.”
Rowan gave Lorcan a rude gesture and Aelin burst out laughing.
“You are lucky we are off duty, Whitethorn.”
“Why? Are you going to spank me?”
The group burst into laughter. No one expected the stiff necked captain to come out with such a remark.
“No, because you might like it and it’s gross.”
Aelin was in stitches, her stomach in pain from too much laughing.
“Who is the kinkiest?” Asked Lysandra.
The fire station team pointed at Ansel and the woman stood and bowed happy to be the winner of such a title.
The pilots group pointed at Lorcan and Elide blushed savagely.
“I think he and Essar covered every place of their houses and tried every position known to the human race.” Commented Gavriel.
Elide stared at Aelin in disbelief and Aelin knew the woman’s fears. Elide was the opposite and had no experience and could see why Elide was now panicking.
After their meal, the fire station boys had been put on kitchen duty and were washing dishes and cleaning, while Ansel, Lys, Elide and Aelin were having their meeting in the ambulance.
“I can’t.” Said Elide.
“Why?” Asked Ansel.
“Did you hear Gavriel? Lorcan is basically a sex god and I am the opposite.”
“There is no need to freak out now. All you are doing is staring at each other. When the time comes you just have to talk to him.” Explained Lysandra calmly.
“And tell him what? Sorry Lorcan I do not know what to do with men?”
“Yes,” said Aelin “if he is a decent man he will understand.”
“If he is not, I‘ll deal with him.” Aelin liked Ansel a lot. The woman wan’t always easy to get along with but when it came to them four they had formed their tiny support group and Ansel would back them up at all times. She was loyal and quite an awesome firefighter.
“Yeah but he might want to do things I do not feel comfortable with.”
“Consent, Elide.” Said Ansel sternly “If you say no it’s no. If the bastard pushes, you dump his arse straight away because he is not worth it.”
“Ansel is right,” said Aelin, taking Elide’s hand “If you want to go slow, you tell him. If he says no, well he can fuck off.”
Rowan was helping in the kitchen when he noticed all the women had disappeared “where did they go?” He could not see them anywhere.
“Girls meeting in the ambulance.” Explained Aedion “Aelin, Lys, Elide and Ansel sit in the back of the ambulance and have their girls meetings. Probably to gossip or complain about us.”
“Oh.” Was Rowan’s only comment.
“But I think tonight you and I are in the clear.” He finished washing the dishes “I got a feeling they are talking about Elide and Lorcan.”
“So everyone noticed, eh?”
“They were definitely not being subtle.” Replied Aedion “you tell you CO to go easy on her. He breaks her heart, I break him.” Then he turned to Rowan “same goes to you. You break Aelin’s heart and you are a dead man. She has been through enough.”
Rowan leaned against the counter “I know about Sam.”
Aedion’s mouth fell open.
“She told me.” Rowan admitted quietly while drying some of the dishes “We are taking things slow.” Confessed Rowan. He felt like he could talk easily to the man, although he was positive Aedion was not his biggest fan “I lost my wife over a year and a half ago. I know how Aelin feels.”
“I am sorry, man.”
Rowan brushed him off “Aelin and I are trying. But I don’t want to hurt her anymore.”
“You’d better.”
In that instant the kitchen became populated again and the two stopped talking.
“We gave the guys the tour,” explained Ress, happily “are the girls still in their meeting?”
“Looks like,” said Aedion and patted Rowan on the shoulder “guys I am going for a shower.”
“Go and make yourself pretty for your woman.”
Eventually the women came back as well and Lysandra cheered when she was told Aedion had gone for a shower.
Aelin walked to Lorcan “can I talk to you?”
The man looked at her with a questioning look.
They walked outside in the yard “do you like Elide? Are you interested in her?”
The man looked away clearly not comfortable talking about his feelings.
“Elide likes you, for some obscure reason. She is wonderful and a dear friend of mine. She does not have the same… experience you have. You are free to try and date her if she is okay with it. But you break her heart, you hurt her and I swear you’ll be flying from Terrasen under false identity because Lys, Ansel and I will come after you.” The man was a giant but she was not scared “do you read me on that, sir?”
Lorcan nodded.
“Now you stop playing side glances and go ask her out for a coffee.”
“Are you planning on managing my relationship with her?” He asked annoyed.
“No, but I will be watching you.” And walked away.
With her eyes she followed the man going to talk to Elide and once he was done she saw her friend giving her the thumbs up.
Happy with her job she went to find Rowan and found him sitting hiding beside one of the engines.
“Hey,” she said sitting down beside him “what are you doing down here alone?”
He replied with a heavy sigh “Our two teams together get along a bit too much. I just needed peace and quiet. I landed only this morning. We haven’t slept in a while and jet lag and all. I am a bit wiped.”
“You should go home.”
He leaned his head against the vehicle ‘you should too… after the night you had.”
“Can’t, night shift remember? I will go and take a shower though, and collapse on my bunk. But I am stuck here until tomorrow and hope no more emergencies.”
“It’s not fair though. After that fire you should go home and have someone relieve you.”
“That’s not how it works, captain.” She stood “go home. Sleep, I believe you promised a lady to go out for a meal.”
“Yes, and hopefully this lady will find some time to relax as well.”
Rowan stood as well and stopped in front of her.
“Thank you for the meal. It was awesome.”
“You deserved it.”
She grabbed the tips of his fingers and held them gently “I will see you tonight at seven.”
“Hopefully with less dirt on you.”
She flipped him off and walked away. Rowan chuckled and in the end took his leave as well.
TAGS:
@rowaelinismyotp
@jlinez
@swankii-art-teacher
@courtofjurdan
@whimsicallyreading
@tillyrubes10
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SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~
SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).
As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!
In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)
***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.
redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).
Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.
***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!
agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.
fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.
Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.
from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.
***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3
Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.
***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)
let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.
***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.
we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.
All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.
***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3
it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.
Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.
It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I’m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!
***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)
catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.
***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.
The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.
Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.
Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.
If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)
#haikyuu fanfic rec#haikyuu fic recs#sunaosa#osasuna#do people even use that ship name?#I think SunaOsa superiority#it flows more nicely hehe#anyway#this is like the fifth time I made another post while making a different post#like#do I have issues with finishing one post at a time?#apparently#manga#fic#ficrecs#read pls#pls read them#is it worth it? yes#LOL#valentines#haikyuu#hq#hq fic rec
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A Picture is A Poem Without Words
CHAPTER 12
A/N: Angst. A certain event happens. I’m sorry. Canon typical violence.
Everything tag: @mikeisthricedeceased
Pacho tag: @yungkvte @mcrmarvelloki
A couple of days had passed since Escobar grand escape from his prison, and it was all hands-on deck in trying to recapture him.
Carrillo was due to arrive in a few minutes, and Blix stood outside the Medellin airport with a vehicle to pick him up. She smiled brightly as she spotted him when he stepped outside of the airport. He walked over to her, setting his bags down as he reached her, and drawing her into a hug. She hugged him back tightly.
“Hey stranger. It’s good to see you,” She greeted him, after pulling away.
“It’s good to see you, too. Let’s go to work yeah,” He said, picking his bags back up and tossing them into the back.
Blix drove him to the HQ in Medellin where he was to check in with the ambassador before gathering his Search Bloc team. The two of them talked about what had happened since he left. Horacio telling her that the kids were excited to see their favorite godmother and had a large collection of artwork to give her. She smiled and shook her head at that.
Far too soon, they were pulling into the garage of HQ. She left him to gather them and do whatever he had planned to do.
Blix made her way to her offices, to go over files and finish up reports. It took a few hours for her to do, as her team was being used for various tasks to hunt down Escobar.
Theo occasionally jumped into the office to help out where he could in between breaks. It was late by the time she had finished the paperwork that had piled up.
Javier had appeared in the doorway of her office at some point, and asked, “You crashing with me tonight?”
Blix looked up at him, checking the time briefly.
“Maybe. Would that bother you? I have to get back to Cali in the morning to file a good portion of this paperwork, so, I’d be out of your hair before you wake up,” She stated as she grabbed the pile that was specifically for Cali and slipped the documents into her bag.
“You are never a bother to me. Come on, I have to meet Carrillo later on for a mission. I might be late in returning anyway,” Javier informed her as he held the door open for her.
She nodded as they made their way downstairs to his truck. The two of them grabbed some pizza to chow down on when they got back to his place.
An hour after they had finished eating Javier left, and Blix fell asleep on his bed, an alarm set.
Several hours later, she heard Javier returning as she was getting ready to leave. She stepped out into the living room to see him sitting on the floor staring off into the distance. She walked over to him, squatting down, her hand on his shoulder. She had never seen him like this.
“Javi? Javi what happened?” She asked him concerned.
Javier quietly told her what had happened; about what Horacio did. She sighed heavily, trying to think of what to say but nothing came to mind. So, she simply sat with him, until he told her to go.
She kissed his cheek, telling him she’ll call him later to check on him, before gathering her stuff and walking out. She hailed a taxi to take her to the airport and was back in Cali before 10am.
She walked to the FBI office since it wasn’t far, and dropped off the paperwork, filing it away.
She checked her messages and made a few calls that needed to be returned. Work had slowed down since they captured König but there was still work to be had. Minor art thieves and forgeries that were still trickling through into Colombia that needed to be stopped.
After checking through her messages, she made her way back out, and spotted a luxury car waiting outside. She walked up to it, noticing Maurice driving, and the window rolled down to reveal Miguel.
She got inside the car, greeting Miguel as she did so.
“Hello Blix. Pacho is working at the bank today, figured I would simply deliver you to him. We hear that the Colonel has returned,” Miguel said looking up from his large binder, making notes here and there.
“Yes. He has indeed returned. Didn’t get to catch up much but I’m sure we will eventually,” Blix said with a smile.
They arrived a few minutes later, and he escorted her to Pacho who was on a phone call, tapping his pen somewhat annoyed.
Blix waved at Miguel as she stepped into the office, closing the door behind her.
Pacho smiled as she walked over to him, leaning against his desk.
He put his hand over the mouthpiece and mouthed quietly, “This should only take another minute.”
She nodded, looking down at the paperwork he had in front of him. She grabbed a sticky note as she read through the pages.
She wrote down, ‘These numbers are off’
Pacho nodded softly, whispering, “I know.”
He quickly ended the call a moment later.
“It’s a partner who wants to renegotiate his deal with the brothers, but his proposal is full of errors. Apparently, he thinks we are stupid and wouldn’t read through it. He was just now trying to explain that it was simply a typo,” Pacho said with an eyeroll.
“A typo that happens… 13 times? Uh huh. Sure. Simply a typo,” Blix replied staring at the pages more closely.
“I just need to finish up some things and then we can go get lunch,” Pacho told her as he dialed another number.
She sat on his desk, watching him work. She could see him tensing up as he listened to whoever, and she slowly reached over to touch his clenched fist. Her hand gently wrapped around it, her thumb running across his knuckles soothingly, trying to get him to relax it. After a moment, his fingers uncurled, and she held his hand as he spoke.
The phone call ended abruptly, and he sighed heavily as he hung up the phone. His next two calls went faster and soon enough he was gathering his things so the two of them could leave.
He took her to a nice café nearby, and they ordered soups and sandwiches to eat. They talked about her work for a time before heading home.
Nothing seemed out of ordinary for the next two days.
It was late at night when she heard her phone going off, waking her up. She blindly reached for her phone, sitting up.
She answered it tiredly, “Javi it’s 3am. Wha-”
“Carrillo is dead,” Javier cuts her off.
“What? What did you… No. No he… What?” She was struggling to comprehend what he just said.
“Escobar. He set a trap. I…” Javier stopped as Steve’s voice could be heard in the background.
“I.. We have to go. I wanted you to hear it from me and not on the news,” Javier said as he hung up.
Blix felt numb as her hand dropped to her lap. She stood up from the bed and got dressed not really registering anything.
She was at her old place, having spent the night there to close up some case files she had. Her hands were shaking terribly as tears built up in her eyes. She somehow got dressed and was on a flight to Medellin before she knew it.
She didn’t know how or what to feel. She stared numbly at everything around her and tried her best to maintain her composure.
The words echoing in her head, ‘Carrillo’s dead.’
When she landed, Theo was there to take her to HQ where Julianna was there with the kids. Blix ignored everyone around her, making her way to Julianna and hugging her tightly. Sobs racked through Julianna as she returned the embrace. The kids were with Connie in one of the smaller meeting rooms.
The next few hours were a blur, a symphony of sad faces and “I’m sorry’s.” None of it registered as she helped Julianna with the kids.
Javier refused to look her in the eye; Steve and Connie helped as much as they could for the rest of the week up until Horacio’s funeral.
The funeral itself was a haze, up until the cemetery where it began to rain. She sat there, long after most of the other guests had left. She was holding some small items. A photo and a small necklace.
The necklace was simply a worry stone, a joke gift he had gotten for her. “You do enough worrying for the both of us.”
The photo was of the two of them; it was on her birthday. He had somehow figured it out and insisted they go get drinks to celebrate. A fellow patron kindly took the photo of the two of them drinking, a cupcake with a lone candle lit on it. It was the first birthday in several years that she had celebrated.
She quietly placed both items on his coffin and walked away. Javier had stayed to drive her to his place to clean up.
When they had pulled into the garage of the apartment complex she finally spoke, “We are sure it was just Escobar yeah? The Cali… the Cali cartel wasn’t involved right?”
“I don’t know honey. It was Escobar and his men but… whether or not the Cali was involved we just don’t know,” Javier spoke truthfully.
She nodded once, clearing her throat, as the two of them stepped out of his truck. When they got upstairs, she immediately began to change into dry clothes, not caring that she was stripping right in front of Javier. Javier quietly handed her a towel to help dry off, his eyes remaining respectfully on her face.
She changed and used the towel to try and dry her hair. She wasn’t really in the mood to shower nor was she hungry. She just wanted to sit alone for a while.
Javier gave her space and simply cleaned himself up. She had thrown her clothes into trash not wanting to ever see them again; an action that caused Javier to raise his eyebrow at, but he made no comment.
Javier changed and sat next to her on the couch for a few minutes, not saying anything. Blix stared blankly at the wall, vaguely aware of Javier next to her, and the TV coming on. She couldn’t sleep; didn’t want to be honest. Javier eventually got up, picking her up as he did so and taking her into his bedroom to lay down.
Javier fell asleep a few minutes after laying down and she simply stared at the ceiling. Memories of her and Horacio were wreaking havoc on her mind, rushing through her brain at 100mph.
When morning finally came, she forced herself to shower. She got dressed in fresh clothes, before making her way outside to go to the airport and return to Cali.
She had tried to call Pacho a few times while she was in Medellin; needed to hear his voice, some sort of comfort, and yet no response. Her mind was cruel, and many hurtful thoughts raced through her mind. She found it odd, that he hadn’t called her back, and with how she was feeling she was thinking the worst. She got a cab to the bank, her hurt twisting and brewing into rage.
She walked upstairs, moving toward Gilberto’s office ignoring the secretary who tried to stop her. She opened the door to find Gilberto, Miguel, and Pacho standing there, eyebrows raised at her abrupt entrance. The secretary was tugging at her arm, but one icy glare from Blix and she backed off slowly. She shut the door as she made a swift exit.
Blix moved to stand before the 3 of them, her arms crossed.
“Did you know?” She calmly asked, her fury brewing quietly.
“Know what my dear? You are going to have to be more specific,” Gilberto replied staring at her questioningly.
“Do not. Play coy. You know what I am referring to. Did. You. Know?” She was seconds away from losing it.
“Honestly, Miss Lage, we do not know what-” Miguel was cut off by her grabbing the decanter of whiskey that sat on Gilberto’s desk and hurling it at the wall behind them.
“HORACIO. DID YOU KNOW ABOUT ESCOBAR’S PLAN!?” She screamed at them.
Pacho swiftly straightened up and began to pull her away from the brothers, but she wasn’t going to play nicely. Not about this.
She shoved his arms away from her, elbowing him harshly in the stomach when he tried to grab her again. She was vaguely aware of the wince he made at her hit but found she couldn’t care at the moment.
“Stop touching me! I want answers! Did you know!? Did you know they were going to murder him?” She questioned all 3 of them, breathing harshly.
Pacho reached for her again, pinning her arms down by holding her to him tightly. She struggled trying to hit or push him away. He wouldn’t budge, in fact, he wasn’t saying anything. When all the fight eventually drained out of her, she no longer could hold it together. Her harsh pants turned into sobs.
She collapsed into his arms, crying. Pacho embrace softened, no longer needing to restrain her fury. He quietly shushed her, running his hand through her hair, trying to comfort her.
She felt him lightly pull direct her over to the couch, sitting her down upon it. She cried into her hands not wanting anyone to see her.
Pacho offered a box of tissues that was sitting on the end table. She took a couple drying her face and eyes as best as she could. She knew her face was bright red, and she looked horrible, but she didn’t care too much.
As her tears became soft sniffles, she heard Pacho speak.
“No. We didn’t know about Escobar’s plan. We have been dealing with Escobar targeting our men and some of our legit businesses for the past week. I know… that this doesn’t sound very believable especially when I haven’t been able to return your calls. But, hey,” Pacho tilted her chin up so she can look him in the eye. “I swear on my mother’s grave, that we had nothing to do with the Colonel’s death.”
Blix examined him for a moment before nodding very slightly. She quietly threw away the tissues piled in her lap in the trash can that was nearby. She cleared her throat, standing up and walking out of the office. She spotted a women’s restroom and stepped inside, standing in front of the sinks.
She turned the faucet on, making sure it was cold, before splashing her face a few times. The water felt nice against her heated skin. She dried her face off with some paper towels and took a few deep breaths.
When she felt calmer, she winced as she thought back to her behaviors in the office. She couldn’t face them again after that. Blix decided she was just going to leave and hide away in her shame.
She slipped out into the hallway, and made her way downstairs, hailing another cab as she got outside. She had him take her to her place, where she promptly collapsed onto her couch. She grabbed the throw blanket she kept on it, curling up underneath it. She turned the TV on, turning it to a random movie channel, and letting it become background noise.
She fiddled with the edge of the blanket, twisting it to and fro. She heard her phone go off from her bag that she dropped in archway to the living room. She ignored it.
She doesn’t know how or when, but she finally fell asleep.
It was still day when she woke up to the sounds of someone knocking on her door. She yawned as she slowly stood up and made her way to the door, rubbing the sleep and dried tears from her eyes.
She opened the door, staring at the stranger confused, “Can I help you?”
The man smiled viciously, as he pulled out a gun from behind his back and fired at her twice. She fell down grasping at the growing red spots on her chest, her eyes gazing down at her chest. She swallowed hard, turning her head toward her small table near the entryway. She spotted the shotgun she had hidden below it, lunging for it when the man turned around to boast.
She grabbed it, cocking it quickly, before firing it at the man’s back. He fell quickly to the ground dead, as she kicked her door shut to grab more ammo.
She reloaded, crawling backwards to the stairs, shoving the box of bullets over to them. She heard a set of footsteps rush up the stairs outside her home. She grunted as the pain of her wounds began to become more pronounced. She aimed at her door, and fired at it, twice. The first round blew a whole into the door, and the second went into the man standing there.
Her eyes were becoming blurry with pain as she tried to reload, somewhat blindly but she couldn’t as she heard several gunshots. She ducked down, covering her head, expecting bullets to whizz past her. That was not the case. When the firing stopped, she heard a familiar voice. Salcedo.
He opened the now useless door, Navegante behind him. The two of them were quick to grab her and were discussing which hospital to take her to.
She grabbed Salcedo’s arm and grunted, “No. Hospital. Too…many… questions.”
The two of them looked at each other concerned and simply picked her up, taking her to a car. Some phone calls were made as they sped off toward Pacho’s home. Salcedo sat in the back with her, trying to apply pressure to her wounds to slow the bleeding.
When they arrived at his place, and took her inside, they laid her on the coffee table as a doctor stepped forward. She blinked harshly trying to stay awake as Pacho’s face appeared before her.
The doctor was speaking but she couldn’t really focus on the words.
“Her shoulder is not my concern; the bullet went through. The one in her chest, however, must be taken out before it causes anymore damage,” He spoke to Pacho. “I need you and your men to hold her down, so she doesn’t fight me.”
Pacho nodded motioning for a few of his men to come over and hold her legs down.
He turned his attention to Blix, and cupped her face, making her look at him.
“Honey, I need you to focus on me for a minute,” He said firmly waiting for her to weakly nod. “This is going to hurt.”
Pacho placed his hand down on her chest, above her wound, as her hands firmly gripped the sides of the table.
The doctor grabbed a pair of forceps and began to dig into her wound. The pain caused her to scream out and she was trying to jerk away. Between him and four of his men they struggled to hold her down properly. She nearly threw them all off.
The doctor somehow pulled out the bullet that was lodged inside her, and jerks settled eventually. She panted for a few moments before finally passing out.
The doctor quickly stitched her up, giving her an antibiotic and some pain medicine via some shots. He left instructions with Pacho on how to care for the wounds and administer her pain meds. He nodded listening somewhat. Diego paid more attention to the instructions than he did and wrote everything down.
Pacho gently lifted her and carried her upstairs. He gently cleaned her up in his bedroom, before carefully changing her into one of his shirts and tucking her under the covers.
Blix woke up several times, but soon passed out a minute later for the next two days. When she finally woke up and was able to stay awake it was in the early hours of the morning. She gingerly looked around finding Pacho lying next to her.
She reached over and ran her hand over his cheek, enjoying the feel of his scruff on her fingers. Pacho took in a breath as he slowly woke up.
He opened his eyes, his hand reaching up to take her hand into his. He pressed a kiss to it as he turned his gaze to her face.
“How are you feeling my love?” He quietly asked her.
“Sore. I hate getting shot,” She answered her voice raspy.
“I am sorry this happened to you. Escobar will pay for this,” Pacho declared pressing kisses to her forehead and cheek.
She tiredly nodded, yawning with a wince as the actions pulled at her stitches.
“What’s the damage?” She asked as she tried to regain her breath, suddenly breathless.
“The bullet in your shoulder tore through old scar tissue. The one in your chest, barely missed your heart. It did more damage to your ribs than anything,” Pacho informed her as he propped up onto his elbow.
“Small mercies I guess,” She muttered as she tried to adjust herself.
Pacho reached over and helped her sit up slightly, adjusting her pillows to help.
She sighed as she settled against the pillows.
“What are the chances of me getting to shower?” Blix asked as she tugged at her limp hair, grossed out.
“We can arrange a bath for you. No standing for long periods for you,” Pacho told her as he got up from the bed.
Pacho made his way into his bathroom, and started the bath, waiting for it to get half-filled before turning the water off. He grabbed her some soft, loose fitting clothing, setting them on the counter.
Once everything was ready, he picked her up from the bed and took her into the bathroom. He helped her take off her clothes, before helping her into the tub.
“I’m not completely helpless honey. I can undress myself and get into a tub,” She lightly complained as she settled into the water.
“Mmhmm. Let me take care of you. So, just deal and appreciate the pampering,” Pacho replied as he grabbed the shower head attachment to begin washing her hair.
She quieted down and just let him do whatever he wanted. He took care of her diligently and thoroughly. When he had finished, she reached up kissed his cheek softly, murmuring a thank you to him.
He sat with her until she was ready to get out. She tried pushing herself out of the tub like normal but stopped with a pained gasp as she felt the stitches tug sharply. She sat back down; eyes closed as she tried to breathe through the pain.
When the pain had subsided, and she opened her eyes, she sees Pacho staring at her with mild amusement.
“Learn your lesson, my shark?” Pacho asked gently teasing her.
She gave a halfhearted glare, before waiting for him to help her out.
Once she was on her feet, a fluffy towel wrapped around her, she gently made her way to the counter. Her movements were slow and somewhat methodical as she brushed her teeth and then her hair. She pulled her hair into a low ponytail and with Pacho’s help got dressed.
He led her back to the bed, and after getting dressed himself, walked out. He came back a few minutes later with breakfast in hand.
He placed the plate onto her lap, and the cup of hot tea he had on the end table, pulling out a fork and napkin from his pockets.
She quietly ate the eggs and bacon that was presented to her, taking the meds that Pacho also handed her.
“I have work to attend to. You, my dearest, are not to move from this bed. I will have Diego and others come check on you until I am done. No fighting with them. No trickery either. You are on strict bed rest orders. I will tie you down if I must,” He warned her.
“Promise?” She flirted with a smile.
He crinkled his nose at her, trying to not smile but failing.
“Hm? You want to be tied up by me? Interesting. We shall explore that… when you are healed,” Pacho teased kissing her on the lips.
She kissed him back, sighing softly as he pulled away and strode out carrying the empty plate away.
Blix drank her tea, yawning as the pain meds took effect. She set the tea down, and settled down into the covers, and slowly doze off.
She woke up occasionally when she heard someone walk in and chatted with them briefly. It was late in the afternoon when she had grown bored of sleeping and was wanting to move around.
She tried to sit up by herself wanting to stretch a bit when Pacho walked in. He raised an eyebrow at her as she froze, not expecting him to appear.
Pacho walked over to her and simply picked her up.
“Am I not heavy? You really don’t have to carry me everywhere,” She said worried he was going to hurt himself picking her up so much.
“No, you are not heavy. I quite enjoy carrying you around to be honest,” He stated as he took her downstairs to the living room.
He placed her on the couch, and as he pulled away, she noticed that Gilberto, Miguel, and Chepe were sitting there as well. Pacho sat next to her, his hand resting on her thigh.
“Tell me something sweetheart… are you sure you are not part cat?” Chepe joked as he kissed her cheek.
“Survived a bombing and being shot at point blank range. Chepe may be onto something there,” Gilberto joined in.
She smiled weakly at their jokes, sighing heavily.
“Gilberto. Miguel. I’m… I’m sorry about the other day. I was wrong to lash out at you two over…” She couldn’t quite bring herself to say it aloud.
Gilberto and Miguel waved it off.
“You were distraught. Honestly, you had every right to believe that we may have possibly been involved. It was quite convenient that Escobar was able to lay that trap so easily for the Colonel and his men. I would have suspected us too, if I were in your position,” Gilberto said in a sympathetic tone.
She nodded briefly, grateful that he wasn’t upset over her actions.
It was at that point, the brothers turned to business, discussing how to best take down Escobar’s empire.
“Attack his production factories. Hit him where it hurts. His money,” Blix answered her voice emotionless.
Pacho smirked at her response, “How do you propose we do that, honey?”
“His men are spending most of their time protecting him and the family, not the blow. Or anything else. Go after his partners, turn those who are easily swayed by more money and kill the ones who ain’t. Isn’t that the point of cocaine, make more money no matter what?” Blix replied looking at him.
Pacho chuckled darkly at that and the others were smirking.
“Chepe… you’re friends with…. The Castellano brothers are you not?” Blix turned her attention to him.
“How do you know about them?” Chepe asked staring at her with squinting eyes.
“I know quite a few things. Get them involved. I’m sure they’ll enjoy some gratuitous violence in the name of hurting Escobar’s empire. Though I’m sure Mrs. Moncada has contacted them already as well. Let them go off on a rampage, they’ll do the more… public damage to his name,” Blix implied.
“While we slip in the back and take over his production lines and starve him of money,” Pacho finished.
“Indeed. As much as I would like to eviscerate him with a dull knife unfortunately he is still too well protected….however…” She trailed off as a thought came to her.
“Yes? What is it?” Miguel questioned staring at her curiously.
“Escobar’s number one weakness has always been his family… knowing him… he will try and get them out of Colombia…” She stated somewhat vaguely.
“Yes. And? What of it?” Chepe inquired confused.
“In chess, the goal is to capture the king… but the queen has the most power in her movements… Escobar will try and scurry her away to another country most likely one without extradition laws unless… the DEA makes sure that doesn’t happen. Keep his family here, and he’ll remain vulnerable, reckless,” She further explained her foot tapping the coffee table, to point out the chess set that was resting upon it.
“As an FBI agent… I could theoretically hint to DEA that this is a possibility and make sure they keep an eye on the airports, and go from there,” Blix said casually scratching at her shoulder lightly.
The stiches were beginning to itch slightly, and it was annoying.
“Keep his number one weakness here and in constant danger,” Gilberto concluded. “You are a scary woman when scorned Miss Lage.”
She simply shrugged, “Don’t kill the people I love, and you won’t ever have to face said wrath.”
“Duly noted,” Chepe said with a smile.
The guys talked further, and as much as she hated it, she was growing tired again. She slowly leaned against Pacho, yawning softly. Pacho moved his arm to wrap around her shoulders. She could hear his heartbeat as her eyes drifted closed, and she passed out.
Pacho looked down as he heard her breathing even out.
“Did she really kill two of Escobar’s men with a double barrel shotgun?” Chepe asked glancing at her.
“Yes. According to Salcedo, she had already been shot by that point but was still able to grab it to take them out. Navegante and them, when they went to clear out her apartment and move everything here, they found many weapons hidden throughout. Knives and guns,” Pacho informed him as he gently adjusted her to lay across his lap.
“I would ask if she was paranoid but… given her job, guess it makes sense for her to need to be prepared,” Miguel chimed in.
“Hm. Yes. She even used to sleep with a gun under her pillow. That was an… interesting find to say the least,” Pacho remarked.
“Used to?” Chepe questioned.
“She stopped sometime after getting involved with me. Decided that uhh. Sleeping with a leader of a cartel has its own protections. No need to sleep with it,” He explained as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.
Chepe nodded, humming in agreement.
Gilberto quietly asked, “What’s the deal with her and the colonel?”
“He treated her like family. She wasn’t thrilled to come here, and he made it more bearable. He was like a brother to her, that’s why she was devastated when he was murdered. Knowing her, she didn’t want to suspect us, but she had no way of truly knowing,” Pacho stated gently brushing his finger along her cheek.
“Ahh. Yes. How fortunate for Escobar at the time… but now he has a woman who is willing to burn down Colombia to avenge his death. I would keep an eye on her, Pacho. Make sure she doesn’t become a liability,” Miguel lightly warned.
Pacho nodded in understanding, even though in his mind he was thinking about the potential she had. She had great potential to be a fierce and loyal member to the Cali, and possibly could help run it one day. He had been thinking this for some time, but this week has cemented the idea in his head.
‘She’ll be a lovely Lady of Cali. I’m sure of it.’ He thought to himself, with a faint smile as he looked down at her.
Diego walked in at that point, holding a plate of street tacos. He came over to Pacho and Blix, lowering the plate near Blix’s face. A moment passed, and she slowly woke up, sniffing the air.
“What’s happening? What is… Oh!” She was confused before everything registered.
She sat up, blinking rapidly, before she looked toward Diego and the plate he held.
She quietly reached for the plate, as she realized what was happening.
“For me?” She asked him and at his nod tells him, “I love you.”
Diego laughed as he placed the plate in her lap, handing her some napkins and setting a glass of sweet tea on the table in front of her.
“Love you too. You also won me like $50 because the others didn’t think food would wake you,” Diego said with a grin.
“Happy to help… I think,” She said as she took a bite.
She quietly ate, as everyone resumed conversations. Salcedo came in, handing her some antibiotics.
“It’s good to see you up and about, Blix. Had everyone worried for a while there,” Salcedo told her with a rare smile.
She took it with a sigh and smiled back in response.
“Thank you for rescuing me. If it weren’t for you and Navegante I probably wouldn’t be here. Actually...” She stopped as she thought about it. “Why were the two of you there?”
Pacho answered her, “I tried to call you several times, but when you didn’t answer, I grew worried. I had them come check on you. Glad I did. Didn’t think Escobar would be so bold as to attack you.”
She mouthed a silent ‘Oh.’
“I was sleeping. Did I hear you say that you had my stuff moved out?” She asked as she realized something had filtered into her mind while she rested.
“Yes. Everything is in your room currently. Your files are in your library awaiting you,” He informed her with a nod.
She nodded in response and continued eating.
Once she was full, she resumed her original position, laying her head on Pacho’s lap, but turned to lie on her back. She tossed her feet across Chepe’s lap, hesitantly.
He patted her legs, silently letting her know she could rest them there.
“Comfy?” Pacho asked her teasingly.
“A little. Could be better,” She replied joking.
“Oh? How can I make your rest more relaxing?” Pacho inquired with a smile.
She hummed softly, motioning for him to come closer.
He does and she whispered softly into his ear.
He pulled away with a shake of his head.
“When your stitches are out, we can explore that all you want,” He murmured quietly.
Chepe looked at the two of them with a raised eyebrow.
“Hmm. Look at these two lovebirds. Almost sickening how sweet they are being, isn’t it?” Chepe asked the brothers.
The brothers laughed in response.
Blix and Pacho smiled at each other, ignoring their teasing.
Blix wanting to do something other than sit or lay down, carefully stood up from the couch. She gently stretched, feeling sore and stiff. Pacho watched her carefully, preparing to help her if need be.
She walked around briefly, trying to relieve tension. It worked for a time before she felt out of breath.
She had to lean against the couch as exhaustion began to creep in. Pacho got up at that point and walked with her upstairs, to his bedroom.
By the time, they reached his bedroom, she was breathing hard and sweating.
“I take it back. I’d rather you carry me,” She declared as she collapsed onto the bed.
“Can do. Let’s get you some pain meds, and get you comfortable,” He said to her as he does just that.
He situated her on the bed and handed her some pills. She quietly took them and tugged on his hand to sit with her.
He does so, brushing her hair out of her face.
“When you’re feeling better, I definitely plan on exploring that tying you up idea,” He flirted as he gazed at her.
“Hm. I should hope so… and that other idea?” She inquired softly.
“Yes. We will make plans to hurt Escobar the way he has you. I know you are in pain in more ways than one. I will do whatever I can to help,” He promised her, leaning down to kiss her softly.
He pulled away slightly, staring into her eyes.
“You will have your vengeance. I’ll make sure of it,” He swore, kissing her once more.
She kissed back, her hands moving to bury themselves in his hair. He deepened the kiss, for a moment, before pulling away.
“Can’t get too frisky. You’re still healing. I don’t want to risk hurting you,” Pacho whispered.
“But we can have a little fun?” She proposed tugging on his shirt.
He chuckled at her, and countered, “How about this? You have 2 more days of antibiotics. You get through them, then I will spend the day buried between your legs.”
“Hmm. I suppose that’s acceptable,” She agreed to his offer.
“Now, rest. I will be back up in a little bit. I have someone stationed near the door just in case you need help,” He informed her as he stood up.
“Stationed to help me or guard me?” She questioned with an eyebrow raised.
“I’ll never tell. Sleep,” Pacho requested as he walked out.
Blix stared at the ceiling for a time. She noticed her phone was sitting next on the end table. She grabbed it and called Javier. She needed to talk to someone about Horacio; someone who knew him like she did.
“Hey,” She greeted softly when the line connected.
“Hi. How are you? No one’s heard from you in a few days,” Javier commented.
“Yeah… had to… work through some stuff. How are you… with everything? I know you and Horacio butted heads often, but you still knew each other for a long time,” She wondered.
“Yeah. Stubborn bastard. He was… he was a good man. Didn’t deserve to go out like that,” He sighed loudly. “I’m sorry. I know you two were close. You ever get bored in Cali; you can always come stay with me you know?”
“Thanks. It doesn’t… seem real still. Keep waiting for him to calm me out of nowhere and ask me if I am eating properly,” She joked. “Or tell me that I am crazy but encourage my shenanigans anyway.”
She heard him chuckle a moment.
“Shenanigans? You mean you terrorizing the compound by blasting Queen albums at random hours of the day?” Javier exclaimed.
“It was not terrorism; it was psychological warfare. The guys shouldn’t have made that bet,” Blix disputed.
“It was a pretty stupid bet, I will admit,” Javier agreed.
A few soldiers had made bets that they could try and get into her pants by the end of the month. She found out about it, and anytime one of them walked into her office and it wasn’t for business, she would just blast her mixtapes until they left.
“If only they knew that you and I were already together,” Javier tossed out with a snort.
Blix made a noise of agreement before taking a breath.
“Hey… so. I had a thought. Escobar is a loose cannon. But his number one priority has always been his family. I would bet good money, that when the chips are down, he’ll try to move them out of the country. I’d keep an eye on the airports,” She explained as she fiddled with a loose string on the blanket.
“Yeah. We had similar thoughts. We actually have some of your team watching the airports for his men or his family. Hope you don’t mind,” He mentioned.
“Nah. They’re getting bored with the small-time thieves anyway. Give them some excitement,” Blix waved it off, not bothered.
“Yeah, they did seem pretty enthusiastic when we offered, which was odd. Stay safe out there yeah? You are kinda… alone. If anything happened to you, no one would be able to come rescue,” Javier noted with some concern.
Blix couldn’t help but think, ‘Too late.’
“Yeah. I’ll keep my head down for the most part. Talk to you later?” She said with a small sigh.
“Yeah. I’ll give you updates,” Javier told her as they hung up.
As she put the phone down, she settled further into the blankets, falling asleep slowly. She wasn’t sure what the future held; she knew one thing: Escobar would pay for his crimes.
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She’s The Alpha (Owen Grady x reader) .9
Here’s chapter nine lovelies! Sorry that it took so long to finish, but it’s here!
Also, idk if anyone pays attention to the lore or actual timeline of the Jurassic World franchise but in case anyone does, I will not be following that timeline. The events in this series will be different from that of the actual canon series. There are probably typos since I wanted to get this out to you guys as soon as possible so I heavily apologize for that. Any who, enjoy!
Masterlist
Warnings: fluff?
The synthetic, white light illuminated the creation lab in a haze. No computers beeped and no screens flashed. The few movements in the room belonged to the lights flickering off in the nocturnal specimen containers, slowly rousing them from their day time slumber. The sun had set outside, but there were no windows in the lab and so the white overhanging lights gave no indication that any time had passed at all. If one stood quietly in the middle of the room, they could hear the wake up songs of croaking frogs and tweeting good nights from birds, each in their respective containers. One could look around and see the blinking eyes of lizards and watch as a lone paleontologist observed a substance as it dripped into a beaker.
Yn’s eyes narrowed as she watched the amber toned liquid flow through the tube. Millions of years in development, 10 years of research, and a grueling year’s worth of testing flowed into a glass beaker. The action itself seemed too underwhelming for the labor and effort put into it. Her studies in Jurassic World would finally come to fruition if this one test worked. After tweaking experiments and hypotheses, it would all rely on this serum.
It all relied upon the inspection of this serum. One look under a microscope was all she needed to confirm her suspensions. Due to staring at the beaker Yn failed to hear approaching footsteps outside of the laboratory doors. It wasn't until three raps on the glass door disturbed the incessant sound of dripping liquid, did she notice she wasn't alone.
"Uh, should I leave you with the beaker or should I go?"
Letting out a chuff Yn swiveled her chair to face the door.
"Sorry Owen, I didn't hear you come in."
He rolled his eyes and leaned against the door frame. A brown, paper sandwich bag with the Jurassic World logo printed on it was in his hands. He lifted a brow and impishly smiled. "Yn you're working too hard again. Do you know what time it is?"
Blinking her eyes and readjusting to turning so fast, Yn rested her hands on her knees and leaned back. Eyes flicking to the clock she sighed.
The clock face stared back at her and read 10:30 pm.
"Damn."
Letting out a relinquished sigh as her hand slid down her face. For the past year Yn had been working as a paleogeneticist for Jurassic World. After her first initial visit to the park, which went smoothly, she returned home and endorsed Jurassic World. Shortly after the endorsement was published Jurassic World attendance skyrocketed. Mr. Masrani had reached out to Yn once more, but this time with a job offer. His hooking line that convinced her to leave the traditional paleontology world was “You won’t have to study dried out and dusty fossils. Instead you’ll be able to work with them in the flesh.” With an offer such as that, she couldn’t say no. Yn was elated when she had finally made her decision. However, her joy did not extend to her father, or any of her other extended family. Each shared their concerns and worries, much like the first time she traveled to the park, but once again they were met with Yn’s hard researched evidence on the park’s safety and personal confirmation that she would be fine. After that, they couldn’t say no. Three weeks later she was hugging her father goodbye and hopping on a private helicopter to Jurassic World. This time she was taken to the Hammond creation lab not as an endorser, but as a respected colleague.
Now, Yn was on the brink of connecting something big, something that would revolutionize everything the world knew about dinosaurs.
“Yeah, ‘damn’ is right. Now, are you going to stay locked up here all night or join me for a couple beers?”
Yn smiled at Owen’s offer, but she knew her answer. “I’d love to, Owen, but I really need to finish this. I’ll be outta here soon. Don’t worry about me.”
This time Owen’s eyes slightly narrowed and his arms crossed, “You’ve been working late like this for the past month. What are you working on anyway?” He inquired as if trying to figure out what the purpose of the experiment was by analyzing the liquid.
“Just confirming some stuff Dr. Wu theorized. With the late nights I’ve been pulling, I’ve actually gotten a lot further than what I expected.”
“Hmm.” Owen stepped back and let the paper bag drop to his side. “Well that’s great. Uh, okay well. I guess I’ll be off then. Want me to leave you a beer?”
A laugh escaped Yn’s lips. “Nah. If someone came in and saw it I’d be immediately fired.” She was about to end the conversation there when a thought came to mind, “but if you’re still awake in say, about an hour? Would you still be down to share a beer and a late dinner?”
Hearing her suggestion Owen perked up. “Sure, I’ll be up. Meet at my place?”
Yn nodded. “Yep.”
Turning on his heel with a slight jump to his step he shouted down the hallway, “See you then!”
Yn shook her head with a fond chuckle. She could always count on Owen to cheer her up. Or remind her when it was time to go home. With a made up resolve that she had done enough for the night, Yn began to clean up the lab and head to Owen’s trailer.
The test tubes were cleaned and put away to dry. All the tools she used were put back in their respective places. Now all that was left to do was save the research she had completed. Yn sat down in front of the computer, typing in the last details into the report. Then with a few clicks the file “Indo.Genome.2” was saved.
With a satisfied sigh Yn closed up the lab and began her journey to Owen’s trailer. Upon arriving and exiting her car, Yn smiled. “Did I miss a celebration?” She observed the strings of light that hung across the open space between Owen’s trailer and the trees. A table set for two sat in the middle of it all. Owen occupied one chair, grinning with a teasing smile.
“Oh no, you didn’t miss anything.”
“Then what’s all this?” Yn gestured to the lights as she took her spot across from Owen.
He reached for his beer bottle and shrugged. “Can’t a man do something nice for his friend?”
Yn laughed. “You can, but you usually don’t decorate unless we’re celebrating something.” She mused.
Placing the bottle down his teasing resolve softened. If Yn didn’t know any better she would think he looked sheepish. Owen didn’t answer after a few seconds so Yn took that as her cue to drop the interrogation.
“Got a bottle opener?”
“Oh right.”
Owen took the bottle from Yn and opened it, handing it back to her.
“Thanks.”
Yn took a sip and sighed. She always preferred Owen’s place to hangout over hers. Yn looked out into the lake. It’s inky black surface reflected the white light of the moon. The lake was beautiful and quiet, encompassed by local foliage and the soothing noises of the jungle.
Contrary to her condo in the park that was surrounded by late night bar attendees and bustling guests. It was peaceful here. She enjoyed that.
Observing Yn take a sip of her beer and see her shoulders visibly relax gave Owen a sense of triumph. A few minutes of silence passed between them as they observed the lake before Owen spoke up.
“Actually n/n, there is a reason for setting this all up.”
Switching her attention from the lake to him Yn turned. “Oh?”
“Yeah, uh,” He had a little trouble finding his words. “Actually uh, I’ve noticed the way you’ve been acting the past two months.”
Yn tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Leaning back into the patio chair Owen spoke. “Every time I’ve come to check on you, I find that you haven’t eaten. You’re the first person at work and the last one to leave. I hardly see you during our lunch break. To top it off you stopped coming by the paddock at the beginning of the month. The first couple times I noticed these changes I didn’t say anything, but now seeing as nothing’s changed I’m a little worried.”
Yn stared back at Owen with wide eyes and a mouth slightly gaping. Hearing all the differences in her routine surprised her. Had it really been that bad? Taking in a breath at her realization Yn reclined into her chair. What made it worse was that she had made Owen worry and fret over her. Now it made sense that he would check on her late at night in the lab every so often. He was worried about her well being.
Taken aback Yn replied, “Wow. I’m sorry Owen. I didn’t mean to worry you. Honestly, I’m okay. I’ve just been really distracted with this project.”
“That’s the thing Yn. I know how much of a workaholic you are, but this is a new level.” Owen stated, a little displeased.
A chuckle came out of Yn. “It’s not that bad.”
“Oh really?” Owen dead panned. “When was the last time you got a full eight hours of sleep?”
Yn quirked a brow. “Oh please. I got a full eight hours of sleep just last,” Her brows knitted. “Last,” Her memory must’ve been foggy because she specifically remembered that on- “Last..” Huh. She couldn’t remember. “I don’t know.” She replied.
“Exactly.” Now Owen’s brows tightened. “Why are you working yourself so hard?”
“Psh Owen it’s not that bad! I’m seriously okay-”
“Yn.” Owen’s tone held no room for rebuttal. His shoulders tensed and face hardened, then his posture loosened. “Are you sure you’re okay? The last time you threw yourself into your work something bad happened. I can’t have you go into that dark place again.”
Touched about Owen’s worry for her, Yn softly smiled. Reaching across the table to his hand that rested across from her, she placed her palm on top of his closed fist. Looking into his eyes Yn spoke, “Owen. I am okay. I can promise you that I am one hundred percent mentally and emotionally okay. Nothing bad has happened. All that’s kept me busy is this project. I can’t really talk about it other than that it’s something I’m really proud of. If something did happen or I wasn’t feeling like myself, I would tell you. Okay?” She squeezed his hand for an extra bit of sincerity.
Looking into her eyes Owen confirmed she was being serious. Letting go of his resolve he nodded. “Okay. I just needed to make sure.”
Yn gently smiled, retracting her hand. “Thank you Owen. I really appreciate your concern for me.”
“Hey, I’m not the only one,” His playful side coming back. “The girls miss you too.”
Yn laughed. “I miss my raptor babies too.”
“Uh no no, they're not your raptor children, they’re mine.”
Yn rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay.”
Owen laughed. His eyes widened in remembrance. “I forgot, your sandwich is in the fridge. I’ll go get it.” He stood and headed into the trailer.
Yn smiled and uttered a “thank you” before he disappeared behind the trailer door. Looking back out into the lake, Yn was grateful. She and Owen had come to develop a special friendship. She would go as far to say that they were best friends. Without him, Yn probably wouldn’t have made it through the first month of working at the park.
Just as she was about to take another sip from the beer bottle Owen came out from the trailer; his phone in one hand and Yn's sandwich in the other. “Hate to cut this dinner short but there's trouble at the paddock.”
Standing with alert Yn began walking towards her car. “What happened?”
“Delta’s fighting with Blue.”
Yn nodded, already opening her car door. “Get in, I’ll drive.”
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And to my followers or anyone that is reading this, if you’re going through something and hurting please know that there are people to talk to. If you’re stressed or overwhelmed, let me remind you to take breaks.
Don’t be like “Yn” and not take care of yourself. You are loved! You are valued! Please treat yourself like how you would treat someone not taking care of their own needs.
Sincerely, DeliriousGeek <3
#Owen Grady#owen x reader#owen grady x reader#owen grady x yn#owen x yn#owen grady imagine#owen grady x grant reader#owen x paleontologist reader#owen x#alan grant x daughter#alan grant x daughter reader#owen x writer reader#owen x reader friends#owen grady x writer reader#blue#delta#echo#charlie#jurassic park#jurassic world#jurassic world imagines#jurassic world reader insert#jurassic world x reader#owen grady x paleontologist
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I Don’t Hate You - Part 5 (Jason Todd x Reader)
will i ever find true love? with standards like this? will i ever find someone who’ll quench my thirst like jaybaby does?
nah.
(If you haven’t already noticed, since the reader is inspired by Jade West, ALL the songs in her singing scenes come from the covers by the iconic Liz Gillies! This one’s scene is inspired by Liz’s live story right here)
WORD: 6908
WARNINGS: EVEN MORE FLUFF BWAHAHAHAHA
Masterlist
I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST
-----
Jason: ‘don’t do it.’
Jerry the science teacher was starting to catch on to him with Jason’s eyes darting to his crotch for no reason and his hand under the desk, but Jason managed to fool him by pulling out his notebook right where his phone was and pretended to take notes with his free hand. It was getting harder to hide it though, especially when he’d crack into a wide grin in the middle of a boring discussion all of a sudden. He looked like an idiot.
Y/N: ‘I’ll fucking do it.’
Jason: ‘she’ss a teaacher.’
Y/N: ‘that hasn’t stopped me before.’
Jason was writing scribbles onto his notebook at that point, lingering his eyes on the teacher for as long as he could while his other hand blindly texted barely readable typos. How were you able to text so well?
You sent another text before he could respond. ‘I’m totally doing it.’
Jason: ‘I’m sure she wasd looookin behind yuu’
Y/N: ‘no. she was definitely looking at me. Who else would she look at when she’s talking about baby murderers.’
Jason: ‘oh.’
Jason really wanted to laugh now. He double texted.
Jason: ‘I get it now.’
Y/N: ‘im not a fucking serial killer.’
Three dots floating in a bubble followed after.
Y/N: ‘yet.’
Jason kept his eyes on the board. Thankfully, this was chemistry. Bruce taught him more about that subject than Jerry ever will. He didn’t need to listen.
Y/N: ‘it’s just her divorce.’
Jason: ‘you have got to stop asking facultyyyt memberd how their divorce is going.’
Y/N: ‘why not’
Jerry definitely caught him by now. His glances at him included unbothered shakings of his head and flattened lips. But he didn’t say anything and went on with the discussion. He probably didn’t bother. Jason would end up with the highest test score no matter what he was doing in his desk. And the man had large bags under his eyes that screamed ‘I really don’t give a fuck about any of you’ to his students.
Jason: ‘you’re worse than a serial killer.’
You: ‘Im no Amelia Dyer.’
Jason: ‘remind me to look her up.’
You: ‘she killed 400 babies and had a infant farm for 20 years before she got caught.’
Jason: ‘sounds like something you’d do’
Y/N: ‘I don’t kill babies. I just scare them.’
Jason: ‘that’s the first step right there.’
You sent a middle finger and it made him silently cackle. Somehow, your sense of humor through came off a lot less dark, maybe because you didn’t sound like you were serious, when in actuality, you probably were. It didn’t matter though. He was smiling like a crazy person in the middle of a discussion about balancing equations.
Jason placed his phone back into his pocket and waited for the bell to ring so he could go meet you at the library for the fifth week since you started. You were halfway through your sentence. He never thought he’d get there. Somehow, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to the end of it as he thought he would.
Just yesterday, he told himself it was wrong to enjoy watching you scream at the stoners hiding behind the encyclopedia sections knowing no one would go in there at all. You were, quite literally, kicking them out of the library while Ms. Peterson backed you up like a shrieking duo. One of them cried while you charged at him, looking like you were about to tear his hair out and you threatening to stick his blunt up his earhole.
It went from something so obnoxious to something so amusing to watch. Perhaps the wrong was in him.
Jason listened to the teacher for the last ten minutes of the class, then the bell rung and everyone started for the exit. He picked up his bag, then took out his phone to tell you he was on his way.
“Texting in class now, Todd?”
He wanted to throw his bag, or anything he had on his hands really, to that source of that voice. Brandon. Fucking Brandon. With his still throbbing new nose and football varsity jacket over his shoulders that made him look even more loathsome than he already does. He came up to Jason and stood him off.
“Every single day for the past week, you text in class.” Brandon brought his leg up to rest on a chair beside Jason. “What? You think you’re so much smarter than everyone now?”
“I’m smarter than you, that’s for sure. But that’s not really much to brag about.”
“I can tell on you, you know. How’d your GPA like that?”
“Didn’t know you were a dirty snitch, Brandon.”
“Who you texting?” he raised his arms up to intimidate him. “That psycho bitch you hang out with all the time?”
Bruce told him to keep his rage in check even more so in class than he barely does in patrols, but at that moment, in a dizzying blur, Jason skillfully pushed Brandon against the wall and pulled his fist behind him without much care for the onlooking crowd.
“Want a new nose again, jackass?”
“Fuck you-“
“ALRIGHT, ENOUGH. STEP AWAY FROM HIS NOSE.”
Jerry. Poor Jerry. The tired teacher grabbed onto Jason’s shoulder and pulled him away from the linebacker. Jason backed down, lowering his arm, then kept his glare on him while he puffed up his jacket.
“Both of you. Get out of here. Todd, you don’t want me to send you to the VP’s office again before I call your father. Everyone walk away. Yes, everyone. Walk on. Get on with your business.”
He kept his head craned down while Jerry screamed at anyone sparing him a look. Jason shoved his bag over his back and stormed out of the room. Slamming the door, he walked to the library and found an empty table waiting for him with a cart full of books at the side. Ms. Peterson had her hand on her hip, snarling at him when he took the seat. “Get to these by today, boy.”
He ignored her and sat down, leaning forward to take yet another nap with his arms folded under his head.
All it takes is one triggering moment. One thug to taunt him. One word from the Joker. One lecture from Bruce. One threat to his humanity. And now his head’s all boiled up and all he wanted to do was block out the rest of the world and take a nap. And even then, he knew he wouldn’t wake up feeling any better.
“Jason,” Bruce told him a five weeks ago, the first day of his library sentence. “Anything going on in school you should tell me about?”
“Nothing. What makes you think that?”
“You caused trouble,” he said. “You picked a fight.”
“I’m fine. I’m not letting it affect my grades.”
“This isn’t about your grades. You can't let your business from the field affect you and hurt innocent people.”
“I’m not-“
“The next time the principal calls me with you starting another fight-“
“You’ll what? Take away my phone privileges?”
“I’m taking away your suit.”
He stormed out of that room before he could say anything more. Bruce never brought it up again, but Jason knew he was going to keep his word no matter what.
Jason didn’t even notice when you took the seat across of him with that prolonged, annoyed grunt that most often came with an eye roll. You placed your bag to your side and poked at his arm.
“Ey. You gotta help me with this.”
He didn’t look up when you pulled out your notes and your textbook. “WAKE UP.”
You repeatedly patted his shoulder until he let out a large enough grunt to make him crane his head up, eye squinting at you and his black hair covering his eyes. He really needed a haircut.
“What do you want now?”
“You weren’t this grumpy this morning.” You smirked. “I have to make a lit paper.”
“Why can't you do it yourself?”
“’Cuz you're the expert here. And I need that A.”
He buried his face back into his arms. “I’m not in the mood, Y/N.”
“Come on,” you said. Your voice prolonged the last syllable and you started to sound more annoying. “Don’t be a baby.”
“Just do it and ask me questions or some shit.”
“But I need your help-“
“And by the end of this, we’re at each other’s throats. I really don’t have the time for that now.”
You backed up, scoffing. “’Cuz you have something so much better to do?”
“Yeah,” he snarled. “Like taking a nap.”
He didn’t even glance at you taken aback and ignored you cursing under your breath. “Fine. Eat a dick, asshole.”
You took your stuff and drowned them into your bag, shuffling out of the table. A girl came up to you with a voice lower than a whistle. “Uhm, excuse me-“
“NO!” you screeched, then headed for the next table before she could ask anything more. The poor girl was trembling on her knees by the time you found an empty seat and pour out everything in your bag. His head was a mess, and the silence was the first step to actually making him clear his grime-covered mind. Jason kept shutting his eyes closed and focused on the blunt colors that appeared before his eyes in the shape of spirals.
For half an hour, he kept at his nap, falling asleep for a good ten minutes before he awoke to the sound of your screaming at a guy too stupid to ask you if the seat next to you was free while you were fumbling with your assignment. Jason groaned into his arm, feeling his head swell and ache and already knowing Bruce was waiting for him at home with yet another long, agonizing lecture on picking fights he never wanted in the first place. His eyes started to hurt from the force he used to shut them close, and everything in his mind was as hot as fire.
Leaning back against the chair, he knew this was going to bite him in the ass, sooner or later.
And one of the very very very few reasons he got to smile or even laugh all day was now violently taking notes while reading a book with the most fed up, furious expression on her face. He pulled out his bag, taking a water bottle and finishing its contents down his throat before he shot up and pushed his chair back.
Jason stood in front of your desk, his hand on the back of the chair across of you and waited for you to take notice of him. Your glare was terrifying. And it actually made him want to step back for once. But he stood his ground and sighed. “Can I help?”
“Get out of here.”
“I can help you.”
“I don’t need an asswipe telling me off.”
He took the chair despite you and you stared at your notebook, still with your eyebrows arched way up.
“Sorry.”
You ignored him and kept with your notes. He peered over, his elbows on the table, and you practically hissed at him when he got too close. Raising his hands up to surrender, he snarled at him before you continued your work.
“How many of reports have you done so far?”
You didn’t look like you were going to respond, and you kept writing like he wasn’t there in front of you at all. Jason couldn’t help but smile seeing you so angry and focused, knowing you were trying your best to block him out and failing miserably when he could see your eyebrow twitch and your eyes darting at him every few seconds.
Squirming his hand to you, his finger tugged on your gray sweater and scratched you like you had an itch. You pursed your lips and pulled your fist out so you looked like you were about to punch him, but he playfully held your hand and backed off. That was when he was fully smiling by now. He could block out all other thoughts easily when it was so fun to bug you.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and you finally looked up to his eyes. “Come on. Let me help.”
You licked the outside of your teeth and let out a long sigh that came with your usual grunt. Knowing you’d hate and love it at the same time, he ruffled your hair and you charged at him, almost stabbing him with your pen.
You finally managed to smile, then you gave in and handed him your notebook.
“The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe,” you said. “What do you think?”
He leaned over the table, glancing at you, then taking the time to read your notes on what you understood from the passage. “This is good.”
“I’ve read the whole book like ten times by now.”
That made his chest feel just a bit warmer. “Really?”
“Yeah,” you took out the collection book he gave you. “Ms. Peterson has no idea. I’m supposed to have four weeks-worth of penalties because of this.”
Knowing he gave you something, and you happened to like it so much that you wanted it to be your report for literature class, and with you writing a decent paper about it, with you reading it over and over, it instantly became one of the things he won't easily forget.
He never grinned so much in a while, probably since a week ago in the gym. Jason watched you take back your notebook, continuing to write as he gazed too long at your parted lips. Feeling his flesh burn, he looked away.
“I won't bite you if you change anything, you know.” you said, your eyes keeping on your notes. “Go nuts.”
You tore off the page and handed it over to Jason, then you gave him a pen. Smiling at you, he took it, then started to circling words he thought you should change and other ideas he had of his own. A moment of silence, you didn’t scream anything at him when you he gave you the corrections. You graciously nodded, then started rewriting them onto a separate page. Your hair was falling to your cheeks, and it touched your skin so delicately and soft. Pretty.
So pretty.
He was gawking. He was so gawking. You’ll never let him hear the end of it. He shook his head and pretended he wasn’t just resting his chin on his hand like a teenage girl.
The thought of you reading Poe’s works still hadn’t left his mind. It wasn’t even a complete collection. There were so many more stories out there, most just on the internet. Maybe tonight, he could send some to you and you might enjoy them, too.
Or, maybe not. Patrol. Bruce has been telling him not to text so much while he was out supposedly beating criminals. But he couldn’t help it.
There was just something about making you happy, or even just smile or let out a bit of a laugh that made him feel a whip of a breezy rush. You were often sad when you were alone, and whatever you felt at school, it was so much worse at home. Everyday, you told him bits more of how it was like with your parents.
He saw so much of himself in you. You were eerily similar. Too similar. The hidden rage, the angst kept within. Maybe that was why he liked making you laugh so much.
“So what story did you like most?”
You grinned. “I’m not entirely sure. The Black Cat’s definitely up there. I don’t know. I really like all of them.”
“I’ve read that. The Black Cat,” he said, leaning back. “What makes you like it so much?”
“I like the idea of a cat being the whole reason his life goes downhill, kills his wife, and eventually gets caught. Like his whole life was being dictated by his pet.”
“That’s dark.”
“I know,” you smirked. “That’s why I like it so much.”
He had his arms crossed over on the table to cover his chest. “You becoming a serial killer seems more possible now.”
“Fuck you,” you said, sticking your tongue out.
It was almost 4:30. He didn’t even notice the clock. You and Jason had the most civil conversation, not an insult or a mean comment on anything other than a playful back and forth. You closed your notes, then your book, then you stretched out your arms.
“Ms. Peterson’s gonna be pissed. We haven’t done any work today at all.”
“Just put the cart behind that shelf over there. We’ll take care of it tomorrow.”
He laughed, and you went with him as he stood up and did exactly so. “I can take you home today. But we have to leave now. Bruce wants me to go with him on this… thing.”
“Nah.” You pulled on your sweater as you headed out the door. “I’ll stay behind. Dad’s usually awake at this time. He won't be asleep until like, an hour from now.”
Jason respectfully understood, and you watched him as he walked out through the halls, turning at the corner.
He pulled out his phone. There was a text from Bruce.
‘You coming tonight?’
He didn’t bother to respond when he was already on his way home. Yesterday, Penguin and Two Face both had their own bank robberies at opposite ends of town. He repeatedly told Bruce he could handle Cobblepot on his own, but he refused and demanded he go with him while they take them out one by one.
Jason was reluctant of course, and it wasn’t like he had a choice. But he did a great job at finishing off Two Face’s crew that it didn’t take long for them to go all the way to the other bank and catch Penguin before they even got to half the bank’s vaults. Bruce told him he had the option to go with him to patrol tonight or not, but if he were, he had to come home early and not laze around in school like he often did.
Tonight, he chose to go to patrol. He thought he needed an outlet and imagine Brandon’s face on the heads of drug dealers. The thought alone made him grin.
Jason walked out the exit and reached for his keys.
Except he totally forgot he wasn’t even wearing his bag until he’d walked to his motorcycle. Groaning as he walked back into the school’s entrance, he sprinted for the library, catching the door open just as Ms. Peterson was about to walk out with a deathly glare on her face at him. Jason ran for his bag, took it, then gave Ms. P a fun little hug before walking back out.
He took out his phone, expecting a text from you, but there was nothing. So he asked you where you were before heading back out.
Out into the now empty halls, Jason walked pass the lockers, the dark classrooms, the one bright light at the center, he kept his hands in his pockets and sighed.
Piano keys.
Piano keys?
Playing. Simple chords played out but had a familiar tune he couldn’t get out from the back of his mind.
And singing.
A voice he’s only heard so often, yet he could pick out from a million others.
The music room was one he didn’t go in too often, but the sound came from there. The door wasn’t closed, and slowly, he peered it open.
A beam so little from the window, yet he could see how your back was so straight up, how your lean fingers rested gracefully onto the keys, playing the chords in perfectly strewn out notes that he could just tell you’ve been at this for quite some time. From an angle slightly to the left, you couldn’t see him, but he could see a bit of your face, the side of it, how your eyelids looked closed looking down at your own fingers.
Then you sang.
I've seen the world, done it all
Had my cake now
Diamonds, brilliant, in Bel-Air now
Hot summer nights, mid July
When you and I were forever wild
The crazy days, city lights
The way you'd play with me like a child
Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I've got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
You…
You…
Yeah.
You were beautiful.
So beautiful…
Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
You just… kept going.
And there was nothing, not ever, in the entire length of his existence, of his years at the streets, of his few years as Robin, of his time at either a ratty apartment or a manor, of all the people he’s met, of any song that he’s heard.
Nothing. Nothing compared to your voice. Nothing compared to you.
Hot summer days, rock and roll
The way you play for me at your show
And all the ways, I got to know
Your pretty face and electric soul
Breathy, low, and everything he’s kept to remember. His chest never felt so light, yet his heart was beating out of his ribcage. His bag was almost dropped down his shoulder, his mouth was parted, his face deeply flushed. Even when you played the wrong note, cursed, then went on just as perfectly as you ever could, he couldn’t tear his eyes off of you.
His eyes were so relaxed on you, and nothing, not even his trembling shoulders could make him look away.
You reached the higher notes with a perfect falsetto, then your voice echoed out even with the room as small as a stuffy classroom. His eyebrows were up to his forehead and he didn’t know if he was still breathing, when he was standing so still, frozen like a block of ice.
You had so much deepness and soul, and you were often whispering the words, but then your voice would go up in a perfect blend.
Perfect. That was all he could think of. Perfect.
His bag was on the floor now, the only thing keeping it up was a single finger.
Lana Del Ray. You sung it better than her. In his most humble, honest, totally not biased opinion. Shit, he even felt like he wanted to cry. His chest was heaving and his face never burned up so much, at almost the end of the song, he finally had it in him to move from his place and throw himself back against a wall.
Breathe. Fucking breathe.
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful?
That last note, you breathed it out so nicely, it went straight into his soul, biting his lip, then closing his eyes.
He smiled like the biggest fucking idiot for the nth time that very day.
Jason looked like a fourteen year old girl cooing over a boyband. He laid his head against the wall, staring at the ceiling, hearing you sing vocal runs and pressing randomly at the piano. And he couldn’t stop showing his teeth, his face was hurting like a bitch, but fuck.
FUCK.
He’s never felt anything like this. Like his head was lighter than the air around him, lighter than the softness of your falsetto. He was still catching his breath and grinning above him, then at the ground, then back at the wall. It wasn’t on what he stared at. Your voice ringing in his ears, like angels were flying around playing their little harps over his head, like the sun was shining so brightly against him that he couldn’t see even a smidge of darkness anywhere in the world. How your face scrunched up, how your eyebrows raised, how you’d close your eyes and feel the song as it flew out your lips.
He rubbed on his chin and mouth to ease his aching muscles. Jason kept with his breathing, the fluttering in his chest. Everything. Everything.
Jason needed to wash his face with ice cold water at this point, gathering enough courage, he looked back into the room.
You were staring back at him.
-----
You didn’t look mad.
Though you definitely, most probably should.
You didn’t even notice he was there until the end of the song when he hit the wall with his back. Idiot must’ve thought you wouldn’t hear him.
But you weren’t mad. Not at all. Not from the way he was looking at you. Not when he was staring at you in a way no one ever had in your whole life. Not when you could see how his lips were parted and how his chest was visibly rising and how cute his face was all embarrassed and shit.
You could only smile.
Standing from the piano and grabbing your bag, you walked over to him. Jason gulped down and backed up against the wall with you standing right in front of him.
And after five weeks of knowing him,
Jason Todd finally looked like he was scared shitless of you.
But you didn’t want him to be scared of you. Not anymore. It just doesn’t seem like something you wanted anymore.
“You heard all that, huh?”
Jason was an absolute mess. He cleared his throat three times and hesitantly nodded, keeping his head to the ground.
“I-I’m uh,” he mumbled. “Sorry.”
You shook your head. “Don’t be.”
He didn’t look like he had another answer. Jason scratched the back of his head. “Uhm-“
“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
You walked first, but looked back to see if he followed. Jason rushed to your side, making sure his blush wasn’t so evident even though it clearly was. You were better at hiding your own embarrassment, so you nudged his shoulder.
Jason laughed out loud and looked at you the same way he looked at the stars. You looked back at him the same way.
“You gonna take me home?”
He managed to form a sentence. “I thought you wanted to stay longer.”
You shrugged. “I guess I can take it.”
When you stepped out the gate, Jason walked you over to his bike and handed you his second helmet. Playfully, you hit the side of his and chuckled when you sat behind him, clutching onto his waist. You felt him tense, but he eventually relaxed and you leaned in to him.
You leaned your head on his back this time. You never did that before. Your clutch was tighter, your eyes closed. If it were anyone, it could pass for simply wanting to be more secure. But that day you just wanted to hold someone you actually didn’t mind being with before you’d get home and all this would end in an abrupt stop.
After a long while, you still couldn’t smell smoke emissions from cars or even hear the horns or bells or shouts from all the city folk near your apartment. Looking up then around you with the sun still shining brightly even at this time of day, you were in the countryside. Away from the city.
“WHERE ARE WE GOING?”
“YOU’LL SEE.”
You could smell cow dung, and the earthy scent of grass you should be more used to than you actually are. The road ahead of you was wide and long, and the air was so much lighter than it was at home. You closed your eyes, this time feeling the wind against your skin.
Jason was smiling through his helmet. Further down the road, you held onto him. “I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOMEWHERE TO GO TONIGHT.”
“I TEXTED BRUCE. I’M NOT GOING WITH HIM. JUST HOLD ON.”
You smiled and looked on when he made a turn into a forest with tall trees getting taller as you rode further down. There were no people around you. Not even houses. You leaned into his shoulder and rested your chin on top.
Jason started to slow down when you reached deeper into the trees, finally stopping his bike by the curb. The air was cold, and you wrapped your sweater tighter around your body after you’ve removed your helmet. “Where are we?”
“Come on.”
Jason walked towards the trees, where there was a little cement pathway now covered in weeds and grass growing out of its cracks. You had trouble making your way through, especially when your boots had a bit of a heel in them, then you walked to Jason’s side as it became clearer what you were there for.
An old, abandoned house. Something out of the dozens of horror movies you’ve saved in your laptop.
“Dude…”
“You like?”
It was small, but its picket fence and flaking white wooden walls just screamed fifties to you, with a triangular roof, two windows on the second level, a half-circle glass wall on the right side of the first floor, and a door so rickety and old, colored in an earthly brown that had mixed in with the debris and rot. Vines were all over its porch, and there was even a rocking chair sitting right outside by the entryway, also covered in vines. Outside of the house was an old pickup truck that had rusted beyond use, sinking into the ground like it was pulled by the earth.
“How’d you know I always wanted to go urban exploring?”
“I just figured.” Jason smiled. “Come on. We can go inside.”
“Are you sure?” you eagerly started for the door. “It won't break?”
“I’ve been here once. The stairs are broken so we can't go to the second floor. Just be careful.”
Pulling the unlocked door open, and Jason right behind you, you flashed him a smile before stepping inside.
It was seriously from the horror movies you’ve watched over and over. The first thing that greeted you was a nice little foyer, with a table in the middle and a vase that used to house flowers for sure. Then behind it was the broken staircase Jason mentioned. It was made entirely out of wood, and it had fallen in so bad that it was basically a wall by now. So much of the wood was on the ground, and there were lots of papers, books, clothes, and several others cluttering all around the floor. You had to walk all over them.
There were two entry ways at the sides of the foyer. One leading to the living room, and one to the dining room and kitchen. Everything further down had been blocked out by wooden planks and even more clutter. The living room was beautiful with the glass walls that formed a half circle and a petite grand piano standing in the middle. Its cover was up, and its keys had completely gone. There was still a bit of light coming in to the windows, which shone on the room so nicely, it was perfect.
The couches were completely ruined, and you wouldn’t dare sit on it. At the center of the room, though, which caught your eye the most, was a beautiful, broken chandelier that had fallen to the ground, which was why there was so much broken glass around the floor.
At the other side, the dining room was a bit more modest. A table seating six was still intact, but the chairs were either toppled over to the ground or broken in half. Even more clutter was on the table. Nearby was the kitchen, with an island in the middle, an old-fashioned fridge you probably wouldn’t want to go near to, and other kitchen supplies scattered around.
You both took out your phones and took pictures of the place. It was too good to witness.
“Jason…”
“I know,” he raised his arms up, putting his phone back into his pocket. “Amazing.”
You covered your mouth, then walked on over to the piano. You ran your hands over it, ignoring the mountains of dust that formed over your fingers. “I dare you to play it.”
“There’s barely any keys left.”
You watched him laugh, then you both walked around the chandelier. “Getting a bit of the Phantom of the Opera vibes in here.”
“Don’t touch it.”
“I wasn’t going to.” You eyed it carefully, then you looked up at the empty ceiling. It looked almost like it was going to fall in. Hopefully it wouldn’t.
“The family that used to live here, they left around fifty years ago. A mom, dad, and two twin girls. They both had tuberculosis and died in this very house. The parents just left it after they died. Never took anything along with them.”
“That’s terrifying. You think they’ve got a listing on this place?”
Jason chuckled. “The twins used to be theater stars. That’s why they’ve got a piano. To practice. And they built the whole place around it so the sounds would echo nicely.”
You finally got it. Shaking your head with a knowing smile, you turned to Jason. He had his hands stuck to his hoodie pockets, his head craned down, his hair falling to his eyes, and his smile all over the bottom half of his face.
“Is that why you took me here?”
“You have…” he gulped, never looking away from your eyes. “The most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard in my life…”
You had to look away. For your own sake. You were turning red so much, it was embarrassing. “Stop.”
“I’m serious. You never told me you sang.”
“It’s not exactly something I hid. I’ve sung in school a couple of times. Like in middle school graduation.”
“So I’m basically the only one in school who hasn’t heard you sing?” He placed his hand on his chest. Then pretended to scoff.
“Why don’t you sing. Right here.”
“Todd. No.”
“Come on. We have the place for it.”
You looked up at the ceiling, which was high for a house so small. It probably went all the way up to the roof. “No way.”
Jason kept nudging you, but you wouldn’t give in. You couldn’t help your smile though. You and Jason walked over to the kitchen and just looked at all the things the family left behind. Even the toaster was untouched, and you’ve never seen an oven so old fashioned before, it still had that pastel green color on the parts that hadn’t been taken over by rust.
It was starting to get dark. But you never wanted to leave. “Thank you.”
You said it without looking directly at him, but he got it. Going back outside before everything would completely dim out, Jason walked over to the pickup truck and jumped on its back.
You didn’t have the agility to just jump on top of it without possibly pulling a muscle, so you just watched Jason sit on the edge of it and swung his legs in the air. Standing beside him and leaning your back against the truck, you both watched the house as the sun started to set behind it. You could see the beams scatter just at the center of the roof where it angled down. The sky had grown from a brightly lit yellow to a dark orange.
-----
You and Jason were a recipe for trouble.
Was it because you were too similar? Harbored the same anger? The same hatred for a number of people you didn’t even know? Was it because you both stirred trouble when it wasn’t asked for?
It was a recipe for trouble because, according to the young adult romance novels and movies, Jason was supposed to be with a nice, sweet, innocent girl who’d bring out the good in him and was kind to everyone, have just enough of that spice in her that would draw attention but still be a sweetheart, and she’d be made of happiness and rainbows and would be what brightens up Jason’s darkness.
You were not that girl. You were the opposite. You had that same darkness as he did. You had so much anger, and instilled so much fear onto anyone you didn’t like. Maybe you were even darker. And if it were up to those same novels and movies, you were supposed to end up with basically the same type of person, someone who was bright and yellow and happy. Not Jay.
But with you both being so similar, so full of angst and dread and hate, in a world were opposites were supposed to belong together,
why does he bring so much light and hope?
How does someone just as unhappy as you are come along and make you laugh like the world was about to end?
How does someone just as full of pent up rage as you are come along, and make it all go away for a sweet, short moment?
How was it all possible? How could two people, two very similar people, fit into a puzzle that called for them to fill it what you didn’t have?
How could someone supposed to fuel the fire already inside you end up being the sun?
Jason never thought of that either. In fact, he thought he might end up with someone in his line of work. Another vigilante. Not a mean girl from school who terrorizes students with a pair of fucking scissors.
But, somehow, it all just made everything he was turn into what he was supposed to be. You could say the same.
With you in your little room and Jason in his significantly larger one in the manor, you both sank to the ground, backs against the wall, and you pulled out your phones.
You had left a message first.
Y/N: ‘Urban exploring should be more of a thing.’
Jason smiled.
Jason: ‘Nah. People would crowd those places and vandalize them.’
Y/N: ‘True. I’d want them all to myself anyway.’
Jason: ‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’
You felt your heart jump. God, this had to stop.
Y/N: ‘I did. Thank you.’
Jason: ‘Should I get used to you being nice to me now?’
Y/N: ‘Probably not.’
He laughed and shuffled his knees.
Y/N: ‘Send me the pictures you took.’
Scrolling through his albums, he selected everything he took that day and sent it all to you. Leaning on his back, looking up at the ceiling as he waiting, Jason imagined the look on your face when you first saw the house. Your eyes never shone so brightly.
You looked through the pictures and found several, about eight of them, centered on nothing else but you smiling at the ceiling, at the piano, at the chandelier, at the tables.
Y/N: ‘Dude. Why this angle of me?’
Confused, Jason looked through the pictures.
And he cursed out loud, over and over, burying his head in his hands when he saw he’d accidentally sent eight pictures he’d secretly taken of you. Fuck it all. This is how he dies. This is the death of Jason Todd.
You were smiling out of your face, and instead of saying anything mean or the thousands of jokes that instantly came up to the front of your mind, you did the same and sent him pictures you took.
And Jason’s heart rose up from where it sank to the floor when he saw you’d taken just as many pictures of him, doing the same things as you did and some with him holding his phone up. One was just his face.
He was a fucking grinning mess by then.
Jason: ‘Don’t I look good.’
Yeah, you cooed. You certainly do. But you didn’t say that to him. You just went along with him and he changed the subject.
Jason: ‘Huge favor.’
Y/N: ‘Shoot.’
Jason: ‘Send me a voice message of you singing.’
Y/N: ‘Absolutely not.’
Jason: ‘Please.’
Y/N: ‘No.’
Jason: ‘I’ll do your library work for three days.’
Y/N: ‘not even if you beg, Todd.’
Jason: ‘I keep my promises, just so you know.’
Y/N: ‘Still no.’
Jason: ‘Sing in the library tomorrow then.’
Y/N: ‘Ms. P will throw me out the fucking window.’
Jason: ‘Yeah, she probably will.’
Y/N: ‘Do my shelving work for three weeks. Then I’ll send you a five second audio message of me humming.’
Jason: ‘Make it a minute of a song of MY choice. Then I’ll do it for a week.’
Y/N: ‘not a chance.’
Jason: ‘what do I have to do then.’
Nothing. You gripped your phone to your chest. I’d sing for you if it makes you smile any day.
Y/N: ’Two weeks. I get to ride on the cart while you shelf my books.’
Jason: ‘Deal.’
You threw your head back, then you made a two second audio message of you screaming “NICE TRY, TODD.”
Jason: ‘Mother fucker.’
Y/N: ‘HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.’
4 am. You slept at 4 am that night. And only because your eyes couldn’t take it and Jason was drooling on his bed after doing exercises to stay up and talk to you.
He had it bad.
Really bad.
And, not surprisingly, so did you.
----
I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST
-----
Taglist: everyartistwas-firstanamateur @sarcasmismyfirstlove @damned-queen-of-gotham @idkmanicantenglish @wunderstell @birdy-bat-riya @get-loki@everyday-imfangirling @comic-nerd-dc @multifandoms916 @icequeen208@offendedfishnoises @egdolan @xemiefx @arkhamtoddler @elsenthal@mythicbitchx @supremehaunter @ burning-alive @lucy-roo roseangel013bf @ loxbbg reclusive-chicken-nuggethttp-cherries shadowsndaisies river9noble
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x reader fluff#jason todd fluff#red hood#robin x reader#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fanfic#dc comics#dc fanfiction#batarella#batarella fluff#batarella angst#i don't hate you series#i don't hate you#jason todd x reader series#jason todd reader insert#batarella series
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Mafia AU - Bokuto x fem!reader
Chapter 8 - I love you’s and lies
Chapter 7- take you home ; Index ; masterlist
warnings: slight NSFW and FLUFF
a/n: this is kind of long upss - also sorry for typos, I looked through it and corrected everything but then posted it and everything was gone except the headline, so I had to edit everything again but was too lazy too really correct everything again ( two times )
Thursday, 9am
The sun shines on your face.
You groan and hide your face in the sheets. Your head hurts. You extend your arm and reach for your phone.
9:48 am.
Well your class already started so there’s no need to get up now.
You’re about to put your phone away when a message pops up.
From: Bokuto
9:48am
Hey there sunshine! I hoped you slept well! I’m sorry for not texting you before, I was busy with .. work… and well yeah- don’t worry tho I’m fine!
9:48am
I miss you..
9:49am
Do you want to hang out today?
You feel something shift behind you, immediately you’re pulled back against a strong chest, as small kisses are planted all over your shoulders.
Forgetting about the messages you’ve just read, you turn around and look up at beautiful olive eyes.
“Good morning my love.” He says in his even deeper morning voice.
“Hey baby.” You beam back, pressing kisses all over his face.
“How’d you sleep?” He laughs softly.
“Perfect! Your bed is so comfy - I can’t believe you hid it from me all the time.” You playfully pout.
Ushijima laughs softly and rolls on his back, pulling you with him.
“That’s not funny.” You pout and he laughs even more. “Wait until you see the rest of it - and wait until you get a taste of the amazing coffee I make.” He smirks and kisses your forehead.
“Oh? An amazing coffee made by my amazing boyfriend?” You joke around until you realise what you just called him. Your whole body stiffens and you start ramble: “I - I that’s not what I meant I know we -“ but Ushijima interrupts you.
“Baby, baby, stop. There is no need to apologise. I’d love it when you call me your boyfriend.” He smiles at you lovingly.
You look up at him with big eyes, a blush on your face and a big smile.
“Does that mean … that you’ll call me your girlfriend? That you introduce myself as your girlfriend when we’re with others?”
“Yes baby. That’s what I mean. I would love to make things even more official, so everyone knew you’re mine and that they better not mess with you… but I can’t You still got your job to do.” He frowns.
Ah yes, the job.
Bokuto.
You sigh at the thought of his face, his golden eyes.. his smile.
“But love, don’t worry. I trust you. I know that you’ll always come back to me at the end of the day. That your heart belongs to me. I uhm… I’m sorry if I come off too jealous … I just.. I wasn’t sure if you’d feel the same.. and..” You shut him off by placing your lips on his.
“You big stupid idiot. Of course I feel the same.” You chuckle.
“Say it.” He looks into your eyes.
“I love you Toshi.” You say softly and blush.
Ushijimas face breaks his usual neural mask and he smiles.
He smiles such a beautiful and heartwarming simile, you have never seen him smile like this before.
“I love you too Y/N.” He leans upwards and kisses you passionately, rolling over you, deepening the kiss. “ I love you so so much.” He mutters over and over again. It feels as if a wall broke done between the two of you.
Your hands roam over his broad shoulders and you begin to kiss his neck when you hear your phone ring.
Ushijima rolls to his side and groans.
Grabbing your phone you look at the caller ID and suck in your breath.
“It’s him right?” He rolls his eyes when he sees you nod, “Then go get it.”
“Hey?” You shyly say.
“HEYY Y/N! Sorry did I wake you up?” Bokuto beams and you feel Ushijima shift beside you.
“No noo, you didn’t ! What’s up Kou?” Your smile quickly drops as soon as you see Ushijima sitting in-between your legs, evilly smirking. You mouth a “NO” and try to crawl away, but he simply grabs your legs with his big hands holding you in place - and then he begins his magic.
“Oh nothing much…, I uhm… I just missed you..” Bokuto stutters. You let out a surprised squeal when you feel two fingers inside of you.
“Oh.. uhm I’m sorry I shouldn't have called you.” Bokuto begins. “No noooo I’m sorry I was just surprised. Uhm… do you want to meet up?” You ask, trying your best to ignore Ushijima.
“YES! I- uhm I mean Yes, sure.” You can practically see Bokuto scratching his head through the phone and you smile to yourself.
“So… tonight at uhmmm.. 8pm?” You suggest.
“Yes! Perfect- I’ll pick you up at yours and we can go shopping and then head to mine?” He asks now shy again.
“That sounds perfect Kou.” You smile.
“Okay - I - uhm need to go now. Boss is calling.” He laughs, “ See you tonight!” And he hangs up.
Immediately you throw your phone on the other side of the bed and your hands grab Ushijimas hair. You scream when he bites your clit. “TOSHI OMG!”
“So … tonight?” He mumbles against you, “What do you two do?”
“I… ughhhhh fuckkkk - we chill at his… and — AHHHG!” Arching your back you groan and grab the pillow.
“Ahh… so you and him alone… in his flat.. late at night…” his fingers move faster and faster while his tongue circles around your sensitive knot.
“No.. Toshi.. this.. OMG TOSH I’M GONNA COME!”
“Yes babygirl, scream my name.” He demands.
“USHIJIMA !!!!” You scream and lift up your body.
Thursday, 11am
“Andddd here’s your special coffee!” Ushijima places the coffee mug in front of you on the table.
Taking a sip you frown.
“Wow. I can’t believe you’ve hid, an amazing bed, this beautiful view, this whole beautiful place, AND that you’re practically a barista. Ushijima? Who are you? OH also are you a florist? How do you keep all those plants alive?” You shake your head and he laughs loudly.
“I’m sorry love, I promise you form this day on, you’ll get to see all of me.” He smiles and looks at you with love filled eyes. You grab his face and kiss him passionately. His hands wander down your body and he grabs your waist, lifting you up. Your legs wrap around his torso, your hands find their way to his hair. His arms move upwards to your back, pulling you closer to him.
Pulling away, Ushijima looks into your eyes. His eyes are soft, so incredibly soft, you feel your heart getting heavier with each second you look into them. Then your stomach grumbles, ruining this perfect moment.
“Well… I’ll better make something to eat.” He laughs.
Thursday, 7:50pm
You came home just a few minutes ago. You and Ushijima spent the day at his, watching movies talking, cuddling and eating. Today felt as if you finally got to know him. From now on you can say that you know the infamous Ushijima Wakatoshi, that you truly know him.
As for now, you stand in front of your mirror, you’re wearing some tight black highwaisted sports leggings, an oversized dark grey cropped hoody and some black platform Doc Martens. Pulling up the hood, you grab your phone and head towards the front door. Bokuto should be there in a few minutes and you definitely need some fresh air to clear your mind and get into your role.
You hear the sound of the black Bugatti and in a matter of seconds it’s parked right in front of you.
Taking a deep breath you put on a fake smile and open the door. The second you see Bokutos face though, your fake smile switched into a real smile. He’s dresses as casual as you are. Grey sweatpants, black oversized T-Shirt and a black and yellow Nike Jordans cap, which he has on backwards.
“Hey there!” He smiles as you sit down and close the door.
“So… shopping now?” You wiggle your brows and smirk.
“You bet!” He says sheepishly and speeds down the road.
“How was your day?” You ask casually.
“Well… the usual…” He scratches his head, “Some business to deal with, but everything worked out just fine.” He smiles and quickly looks over at you.
“Ohh - well I’m glad.” You smile and look out of the window. Bokuto turns on the music and ironically “Gangsta’s Paradise” starts playing. You look over at him with an are you serious - look, but Bokuto just smirks and starts sining along on the top of his lungs while turning up the volume.
“Tell me why are we so blind to see
That the ones we hurt are you and me?" He sings and you just had to join him.
“Been spendin' most their lives livin' in the gangsta's paradise
Been spendin' most their lives livin' in the gangsta's paradise
Keep spendin' most our lives livin' in the gangsta's paradise
Keep spendin' most our lives livin' in the gangsta's paradise" you two sing on the top of your lungs
He stops the car on the parking lot of the grocery store and looks at you. For a second it’s silent then you two burst out in laughter.
“Okay okay, let’s get out.” You menage to say while trying to catch your breath.
You walk over to get a shopping cart and walk back to Bokuto, who’s already waiting for you with an evil smirk on his face.
“Kou - what are you planning now?” You ask and stop in front of him, a worried expression on your face.
“This.” He says and jumps in the cart, “TO THE SNACKS” he yells and extends his arm as if he’s some general on a horse, telling his soldiers to march forward.
“Omg why am I doing this to myself?” You fake whine and gather all your strength to move the cart.
“You do it for the SNACKS!” He laughs.
About an hour later, you got all the chips, chocolates, ice cream, sweets, drinks, alcohol and a watermelon, which Bokuto - still sitting in the cart - holds proudly. You move to the check- out, Bokuto lifts all the stuff out of the cart and pays - still in the cart. All the people around you two look as if you’re the craziest thing they have ever seen. The best looks you two get are the ones when you move the cart to the black Bugatti, that everyone on the parking lot is starring at.
Winking at you, Bokuto revs up the engine drives off to his apartment.
Friday 1:20am
All the snacks are open, the water melon exploded in the kitchen, the bottle of tequila almost empty and you and Bokuto have a dane off to “Hollaback Girl”. Sadly you have to admit that he is winning, simply and only to the fact that he can throw it back like a pro.
The song switches to “No Diggity” and Bokuto walks up behind you wrapping his arms around you, pressing his body against yours while you start moving your hips to the beat.
His lips find the soft skin right behind your ear.
You arch your back at the sudden contact, pressing your lower back even tighter against him.
“You’ve been with him this morning, haven’t you?” He purrs into your ear. You bite your lips and shake your head. “Don’t lie to me. I know what he’s done while I called you.” He growls in such a deep voice, your whole body shivers. “Kou.. I’m sorry I-“ you begin but quickly stop talking as you feel him biting down on your skin. “I know you’re not sorry, love. You enjoy all of this right? Having two dangerous man fighting over you?” He starts sucking on your neck, leaving marks that’ll be hard to cover up. You lean your head back against his shoulder, giving him more space to work with. One of his hands move under your hoody, fingers gazing over your skin. “I can’t blame you, love, yet I can promise that I’ll fight for you.”
Your heart arches at his words. Bokuto is so honest with his emotions and you start to feel a warm feeling filling up your heart. You can’t let this happen, you’ve just told Ushijima that you loved him, have you been lying? No. You do love him, but what is this feeling now? What is this warm feeling that fills you up?
Bokuto moves you around in his arms finally looking down at your beautiful face. With big eyes you look up to him, how could he hold back now? His lips crash with yours in a hungry kiss that leaves you breathless afterwards.
“Kouu..” You moan against his lips, but he pulls away.
“No. Not now.” he turns away. You open your eyes and the second his hands left your body you feel cold and empty.
“What.. Bokuto .. I’m sorry .. “ you stutter confused.
“No, it has nothing to do with you. I just.. I want to be sure that you really want me and that it’s not the alcohol speaking.” He says shyly and looks at the ground. At this moment, he looks more like a 16 years old that has to ask his mother to leave the house and not like a gang member.
“Thank you for being so respectful.” You smile warmly at him and walk towards him.
He looks over to you, “ You don’t think I’m weak for being that way?”
“What?! NO! How could I?” You ask confused.
“I - It’s just - I feel like I have to act a certain way since I’m in a gang… and that I don’t really fulfil those expectations.” He looks at you with big eyes. Gently you place your hands on either side of his face forcing him to look at you.
“Bokuto, there’s nothing wrong with it. You’re still dangerous and whoever messes with you has some serious death wishes. Also I believe you don’t show this side to everyone.” You smile at him and kiss his nose.
“No.. only to the ones I trust.” He mumbles embarrassed, “Have I trusted you too early, y/n?” He asks innocently and your heart breaks.
Yes yes, he did. He certainly did, but he’s not one to blame. You’ve been too open and carefree around him. You didn't act, they’ve all been your true emotions and feeling. Who is he to blame for trusting you?
“Yes Kou you did, but it’s fine. I won’t betray you.” You say and his eyes lit up.
“Thank you. It’s so hard for me to find someone to trust and who accepts me outside the gang.” He kisses your cheek and grabs your hand, “NOW we haven’t decided who won the dace off!” He laughs and starts looking for the right song.
You feel your phone vibrating.
From Tosh:
Are you okay?
Yes I am.
Okay good. Please, remember that you’re just playing a role…
I know Toshi.
Good, sorry.. I’m just worried. I’m with the boss rn and he asked where you are and I just- got worried...
I know- but you don’t have to, I’m all yours love.
I love you.
Shaking your head, you brush off the feeling of guilt and put your phone away.
Bokuto looks at you with sharp eyes.
“Hm?” you ask and look at him confused.
“Does he know you're with me?” he asks.
How. How is he able to read you so easily?
“Yes he does.” you honestly reply.
“Good.” he smirks, “I hope it bother his as much as it bothers me knowing you’re with him.” You roll your eyes and grab his phone. “You take too long to find a song.” you comment and scroll though his playlist. He hugs you from behind and he rests his chin on your shoulder. “How about we end the night with some movies?” he kisses your shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.” you smile and add “Movies and cuddles?”
“Baby, by deciding to have me as friend you signed up for a lifelong subscription for cuddles.” he laughs.
Friday, 4:40 am
Bokuto wakes up by his phone ringing.
“Yes?” he answers still sleepy.
“Bokuto? Where are you?” Sakusa asks from the other line.
“Home. Why?”
“Come to the club now. We got some business to take care of?”
“What kind of business?”
“We found someone who works for the Adlers and we need our best man to make sure we get all the needed information out of him.”
“Coming.”
Bokuto sighs and hangs up. He looks down at your sleeping form. Gently he frees himself out off your grip and lifts you up, carrying you to his bed. He stays for a few more seconds, gently running his fingers through your hair. The he kisses you goodbye and leaves.
Taglist (open) : @kageyamasbraincell , @tendouthighs , @lilacshouko @softhourswithseb @theperksofcoffee @cuddlesslut @shhhlikeme, @kynyta @yammmers @asahi-is-jesus-periodt @hxnni-bxnni @theduvetpirate @chromaticstudio @gywjd0131
#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu fanfiction#bokuto x reader#bokuto imagine#bokuto headcanons#ushijima x reader#ushijima headcanons#ushijima imagine
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Four times he told them you were a friend and once he said you were his girlfriend
So this is sort of kind of what was requested, but I just did the same thing with Quinn Hughes and this idea came to me, so I hope you like this! Anyway it’s 2 am and I haven’t read through this so if there are typos ignore them (or point them out then maybe I’ll actually fix them).
This is the LONGEST thing I’ve written as one solid piece (it’s around 6.6k words, which I’ve never done before so that’s fun).
But keep supporting BLM, keep supporting organizations like GLSEN, just be a good person. Ok cool, you’re all great people, don’t worry.
______________
I
“Ok, hot guys at ten o’clock,” Ashley starts shaking your arm, sending your drink spilling all over your hand.
“Watch it!” you say, trying to steady the drink before you waste six dollars of beer, “Which ones, there’s like eight guys over there.” She can’t stop staring at the group of guys, all of them wearing very similar outfits of plain, tight-fitting t-shirts that show off their obviously fit bodies and a pair of jeans, ranging from light wash to black. A man’s wardrobe was a mystery.
“I want to go talk to them,” she says.
“Then go talk to them,”
“You’re coming with me.”
“Ash, why would I go talk to a group of boys when I’m here with Nick?”
“Because he’s not your boyfriend, you’re just fucking him and he is a hundred percent talking to other girls right now, so what’s the harm of flirting with another guy?” You exhale, knowing that she was right. As soon as you got to the bar, Nick left you to get drinks and you found him thirty minutes later without a drink for you and talking to a pretty redhead about who knows what. “You know I’m right. And that one has been checking you out anyway. Worst case you get a free drink or two and never see the boy again.”
You make eye contact with the curly-haired boy Ashley mentioned. He was pretty beautiful, and you had to admit that you melted a little when he smiled at you “Fine, let’s go,” you say, rolling your eyes as she squealed and dragged you over to the guys.
“Is it a common habit of yours to just stare at a girl before she succumbs and comes over to you or do you ever make the first move?” you say, standing in front of the curly-haired boy.
“Normally I would go up to them but I guess you beat me to it. And it looks like your friend already has her hold on Noah, so I guess both of you are pretty ambitious,” he says, nodding over to Ashley, who is already dragging Noah to the bar with her probably so they can get drunk together.
“Yeah, that seems right. Plus he’s hot, so I’d probably do the same,” you shrug as the boy moves over and motions for you to sit down. “So if that’s Noah, who are you?”
“I don’t know if I should tell you if you just called my friend hot and not me,” he jokes, leaning in a little closer, but Hanny is a pretty beautiful man so I’m not too offended. I’m Matthew.”
You can’t help but laugh at him; the amount of confidence he had in calling his friend beautiful was refreshing, Nick would be weird about it and start trying to make jokes that were never funny. You tell him your name and just start talking with him. There was something there between the two of you, but you were technically with Nick. But like Ashley said, what was the harm of flirting a little bit?
“So why are you here tonight?” Matthew asks you, getting up and leading you to the bar.
“One of my friends landed his dream job so we came to celebrate,” you tell him, motioning over to the group of boys standing at the other end of the bar.
“Which friend, I’ll buy him a drink,” he offers.
“The one next to that guy with the redhead draped over him.”
“Do you know him? They’re talking to each other.”
“Yeah, the girl is holding my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” he asks, nearly spitting out his beer. You didn’t seem like the type of girl who would try to cheat on her boyfriend, especially with him standing right there, and he really didn’t want to be involved in any sort of weird sexcapades with a girl he just met.
“Sort of, kind of, not really. We’re hooking up and we like each other, I think, but clearly we can hook up with other people. Or at least, he can hook up with other people,” you say, feeling weirdly sad all of a sudden. Of course, you liked Nick, how could you not? He was sweet, smart, funny, he was there for you when you needed him, but damn as soon as a girl looked at him the right way it was like you weren’t there until you called for him. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you that. You just seem like someone I can tell things to.”
“I’ve gotten that before. Then my dad says that I have a face that you can’t help but want to punch, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you swung that way, too,” he says, laughing, the curls on his head bouncing along with him, “But can I give you some advice?”
“Sure, why not?” you say, making eye contact with Nick, him flashing a cute smile and waving at you.
“If you both liked each other and you want to be together, which at least, you want to be, then you need to say something sooner rather than later to him. You’re pretty cool, and you deserve someone that makes you happy. Right now it seems like it’s him,” he says, nodding over to where to Nick was, the redhead sending daggers in your direction.
Before you know it, Nick’s arms are finding their way around your waist, him kissing your cheek before nestling his chin on your shoulder. “Hey, who’s this?” he asks.
“A new friend,” Matthew says, smiling at you.
II
Your phone buzzed with a text saying that he was ready to leave, even though you still needed another five minutes before you could even think about getting your shoes on. You dial him quickly, praying he doesn’t take long to pick up the phone as you throw it on speaker and run around your room trying to find the jewelry you wanted to wear. “You’re coming up here and helping me finish getting ready unless you want to wait another twenty minutes minimum. The doors open just come to my room,” you spit out at him before he even has the chance to finish saying ‘hello.’
You hear him mumbling something on the other end as he slams the door to his apartment to make his way to yours. By coincidence, he lived four floors above you, allowing for easy access when both of you had free time to just sit and watch a movie, or for nights like these when you were struggling to finish getting ready for the night.
“I’m here!” you hear Matthew call from the living room, walking to your room. “I cannot have the guys chirping me for being late tonight, especially when I got the time wrong last time and showed up an hour in,” he says, walking into your room. “You’re a mess.”
Your hair and makeup were done, but your dress was still unzipped due to your lack of flexibility to zip it, your necklace that you were going to wear was somewhere in the room but you had no idea where it would be, and you still had no clue what shoes you were going to wear. “Which is why you’re here so I can be less of a mess. Come here and zip me up, then pick out shoes for me to wear. Please? Please, please, please?” you beg.
He shakes his head and can’t help but laugh at how frazzled you can get when you’re on a time crunch. “You’re lucky I like you enough to even bring you to this event,” he says, doing as you ask. You could feel yourself tensing up as he slowly brought the zipper up, his hand at the bottom holding the zipper straight. You turn around to him, goosebumps all over you as you get a good look at him in his suit. Damn was he handsome. “Are you sure that Nick is alright with me taking you to this thing?”
“As long as I don’t hook up with anyone, he really doesn’t care. It’s not like any of you guys are a threat to our relationship, anyway,” you say as you try to find this necklace.
Matthew couldn’t help but feel a little upset over that comment. He loved that you were happy while dating Nick, and he genuinely seemed like a great guy for you, but part of him wondered what it would be like if you were together. “Well, a lot of them are already taken anyway, so unless there are a lot of strange single men roaming around the Flames Casino Night, I think you’re safe.” He picks up a pair of shoes for you to wear, praying that they actually go with your outfit and don’t kill your feet, something you had complained to him about during multiple nights out. Apparently, asking why you had shoes that hurt your feet was a dumb thing to do.
“Perfect!” you say, taking the shoes from him, trying to get them on without having to sit down. “And I found the necklace, so once this is on and I find where I put my bag, we’re good to go.”
“What could you possibly be bringing with you that you need a bag?” he groans, knowing that you were going to make them late.
“Keys, money, ID, lipstick for reapplying, tissues,” you start to list off as he rolls his eyes. “Ok, fine. But I don’t have pockets to hold things, so I need a bag.”
“I can hold the keys, money, and ID if you say you don’t need the other things and we can just go.”
“But what about my phone, I don’t want to hold it all night.”
He takes the stuff you hand him, grabbing your hand and dragging you out the door. “I have big enough pockets, don’t worry. These aren’t like female pockets where you could basically hold a penny and worry about it falling out.”
“That is not my fault and you had to know that was going to start a feminist rant from me as soon as you said it,” you start as you get into the Uber that was somehow already waiting for you outside. He laughs as you start going off about the sexist issues in women’s fashion, something he has heard more than enough times. At this point, he could probably recite the rant back to you word for word.
He listened to you better than Nick did; sure Nick listened, but when you talked to Matthew it was like he hung onto every word, trying to remember every detail down to how your eyebrow cocked as you said each sentence. Nick normally was just mentally undressing you until he could actually undress you. Not that you weren’t happy with Nick, but you couldn’t really help but wonder if you should be with Matthew or if he really was just your best friend.
Your rant lasted the entire ride to the event, Matthew doing everything in his power not to laugh at how passionate you were about stuff like this. He knew that you wanted to spend your life making a difference, and it helped that you were able to dive into an issue and find a reason to fix it.
“Ok, so you don’t have to play any of the games, the drinks I think are free for the most part but as we know I can be wrong an have been wrong before, and if you want your money, not to sound like a weirdly protective boyfriend, just come and find me.” Matthew tells you as you get out of the car. You loved coming to these events, and Matthew’s inability to hold onto a girl for longer than a few weeks, and his overall lack of female friends meant that you got to come to all of the events as his date.
“If it’s not free I’ll just find the nearest hot man and flirt with him until he buys something for me, kind of like the night we met,” you joke, taking in the sights and sounds of the event around you. Everyone in the Flames organization was there and then some, so maybe that was a possibility.
“Actually, Nick bought you drinks once he noticed you talking to me, I never actually bought you anything,” he points out, a little bite in his tone.
“Ok, snippy,” you shoot back, “Have fun, I’ll be at the bar.” You leave his side just as Noah went over to him, working your way through the crowd to the bar.
“There’s no way you already said something to piss her off, man. You just got here,” Noah says, dragging Matthew by the arm over to one of the tables.
“She brought up the night we met.”
“I still can’t believe that you convinced her to go for that guy instead of just asking her out yourself. What’s his name, Mick?”
“It’s Nick. How many people do you know named Mick?”
“Not the point.”
“Ok, fine. I didn’t ask her out because I saw how she looked at him. And she called him her boyfriend.”
“Which he wasn’t. And you could have been. She looks at him the way she looks at me, and as far as I know, I’m not her boyfriend. But I’ve seen how you look at each other. She sees you differently.” Noah pats him on the back, leaving him at the Blackjack table to fend for himself. He looks up to you, a guy with his back towards him leaning against the bar talking to you. You make eye contact and roll your eyes at him, biting your lip signaling that this guy was a total dud.
“Is that your girlfriend?” the stranger next to Matthew asks him, following his gaze to you. “She’s hot.”
“Nope, just a friend.”
III
“Who is this that’s getting married today?” you ask Matthew from the bathroom of the hotel room you were sharing with him, Brady and Taryn.
“A family friends daughter, I think her name is Isabella?” Brady answers instead, throwing an apple in the air and trying to catch it, only for Matthew to jump and snatch it before he can.
“Boys!” you yell as they start to wrestle each other for it. “Come on, if either of you leave this hotel room with a black eye we all know that your parents are going to assume it’s Matthew’s fault and then none of us can go to the reception.”
“Sorry,” they both mumble, Matthew handing back the apple to Brady.
“I like her. Please keep her around. I need more feminine energy when I’m around you two,” Taryn says from behind you, both of you fixing your hair in the mirror.
“Why did you get to bring a date and I couldn’t?” Brady asks his brother, you and Taryn rolling your eyes.
“Because the girls you know wouldn’t be able to pay their way and Y/N has an actual job with an actual income so I wouldn’t have to foot her bill.”
“I thought you did get a plus one and you just had no one to bring?” you yell to them, Taryn trying not to burst out laughing.
“You’re not even Matthew’s girlfriend!” Brady protests, Matthew’s face getting red.
Brady knew that he liked you; the first time the family met you, he had picked up on it right away. Taryn had a feeling something was going on, but she wasn’t about to poke fun at Matthew for it like Brady would.
“I’m a girl who’s a friend which is more than what you have apparently,” you fire back, causing Brady’s face to turn red in return.
“Are you two almost done?: Matthew whines, checking his watch. He was the one in charge of getting the four of you to the wedding, and if you were late, he was definitely getting yelled at for it.
“Yeah, yeah, we know, we need to hurry up. The wedding starts in an hour and it’s a five minute walk down the street and from the sounds of it, your parents haven’t even left either, so you can wait the few seconds it’s going to take us to finish getting ready,” you say, coming out of the bathroom to get your shoes on. As soon as Matthew saw you, he felt himself stop breathing. Any time you were dressed up he got that way. He felt that way when he saw you for every charity event, yet he never told you, he felt that way when you met that night at the bar. Damn, he hated the friend zone.
“Yeah,” Taryn says, following you out and plopping down on the bed beside you to get her shoes on. “What?” Taryn says when her brothers shoot her weird looks, “She said everything, why can’t I just agree with her?”
The four of you make your way down to the lobby of the hotel to start on your way to the wedding venue. It was at a different hotel than the one you were staying at, down the street as you walked through the center of Chicago. You all look great walking down the street as Brady let the way with Taryn by his side. You and Matthew were a few paces behind, your feet already hurting from the shoe that you knew you were going to take off as soon as you got to the reception.
A guy catcalls you, something you just ignore as Matthew yells, “That’s my girlfriend,” at the guy as he pulling you in by the waist, glaring at the guy as you walk by.
All you can do is roll your eyes at both of them. Matthew still wasn’t used to girls being hit on in the streets by guys, so whenever you were out with him, any girl who was hit on in an unwanted manner suddenly was his girlfriend until the man was out of sight.
“Thanks,” you say, Taryn and Brady waiting for you outside the door of the hotel as Matthew drops his arm from your waist, praying that neither of them saw you keep it there longer than he needed to.
“She has a boyfriend, remember,” Brady whispers to his brother as he lets you and Taryn in before them.
“Don’t you think I know that? I would do that for anyone,” Matthew hisses back.
“Do you look as comfortable with them as you did with her?”
“Shut up, Brady.”
“Yeah, shut up, Brady,” Taryn says, causing you to burst out laughing. Taryn was probably your favorite of the three Tkachuks, but you could never tell Matthew that.
“You don’t even know what we were talking about?” Brady says, confused.
“I don’t have to know to tell you to shut up.”
“If any of you kill each other, it’s not my fault,” you say, grabbing Matthew and going to find seats.
Brady and Taryn follow each other, his parents finding you not long after. They still didn’t know you very well other than as Matthew’s ‘best friend that isn’t a hockey player.’ You sit with them through the wedding, your leg shaking for no reason other than the fact that you’ve always had a hard time staying still. Matthew lays his hand on your thigh to try to calm you down, which worked a little, only for you to start shaking the other leg.
“Can you stop?” Matthew whispers to you, a smile on his face and his hand still on your thigh. You can feel his dad looking at the scene unfolding, his eyebrow raised like he does whenever Matthew does something that catches his eye.
“Physically, no. You should know that by now,” you whisper back, Brady shushing you so he can pretend to listen to what was going on.
You sit through the rest of the wedding, not noticing that Matthew’s hand is still on your thigh. He knew he had it there, though. His entire family say it there. Matthew couldn’t focus on what was being said in front of him as Isabella got married to whoever the hell Oliver was in her life. You had a boyfriend. Nick was still in the picture. You two had just celebrated your two year anniversary a little while ago, which means that you and Matthew had met a little over two years ago, too. He was well aware of when it was, but to you, it seemed like it didn’t matter. The last two years made it feel like you had known him forever, so who cared?
“I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!” whoever was giving the wedding said, everyone around you cheering as you stood up and Matthew finally took his hand off your thigh to clap along with everyone else.
“Is it bad that the only thing that I really want from this wedding is the open bar?” Matthew leans over to you, praying that his parents don’t hear him because they’ll scold him for it.
“No, because that is exactly where I will be for the night,” you say as everyone starts heading to the room where the reception is.
“So, wait, you haven’t talked about you and Nick in a while. How are things going with that? He’s alright with you coming as my date to this, right?” Matthew says, leaning against the bar.
“Uh, he thinks that I’m visiting Ashley in Winnipeg,” you say, hating that you admit that you were lying to your boyfriend about where you were this weekend.
“Why would he think that?” All of Matthew knew this was a bad thing: lately, Nick seemed to be getting upset with you about how much time you had been spending with him in your apartments rather than going out with Nick to a bar every single weekend.
“Because he would get pretty mad at me if I told him that I was with you in another country for a wedding.”
“You didn’t have to come with me if you didn’t want to. You know that I don’t want you to feel like you have to come with me to stuff, especially if it’s going to cause problems with you and Nick,” he says, not making eye contact with you.
“He’s not allowed to tell me that I can’t be friends with you. If he has an issue with it, then he needs to say something about it,” you say as the bartender comes over to you and takes your drink order.
“But then why did you lie?”
“I didn’t want to come to the wedding just going through a breakup, because he would a hundred percent dump me if I told him I was with you right now.”
“Y/N/N. If he’s like that then why don’t you just dump him? I mean, you’re amazing. But a guy shouldn’t have to control who you spend time with in order to see that,” he says, his hand finding your arm.
“Aw, I love you, Matty,” you tell him, putting your hand on his. The bartender comes back with your drink, you taking it and turning towards the rest of the wedding, “I’m going to go get food. I’ll see you at the table?”
Matthew nods, watching you walk away. The bartender, doing the same thing says, “You’re a lucky man,”
“Sorry?”
“To have someone like her as a girlfriend?”
“Oh, no. She’s just my friend.”
IV
Ice cream? Check. No romance movies in sight? Check. A big bottle of wine that you were planning on drinking without a glass? Check. Snuggled in your favorite hoodie that you may or may not have stolen from Matthew? Check.
You turn on Dead Poets Society, the only movie you can think of that doesn’t have more than ten minutes of romance so that you don’t start crying over the fact that you just dumped Nick a little over a week ago, even though it had been coming for a long time. You came back from the wedding with Matthew to find that Nick had been following your location on Snapchat and saw that you were in the States and not in Winnipeg. You got into a huge fight, ending it by screaming, “I would rather be with Matthew than with you, so we’re done,” and you storming out of his place and driving back to yours sobbing. The only person you had told so far was Matthew, and you were still, for some reason upset about it. Probably because you wasted more than two years of your life on the wrong person when you could have been with the one your friends told you to be with the entire time.
Robin Williams is having his students recite lines of poetry and then kick the ball as hard as they can when a picture of you and Matthew being slightly drunk idiots at the wedding pops up on your phone.
“What?” you answer, angry that your sad-fest was being interrupted by him.
“You’re too pretty to be sitting at home alone and single on a Saturday night. I’m coming over in twenty minutes with a pizza and the two of us are going out,” he says on the other end, hanging up before you can say otherwise. You did say you would rather spend your time with Matthew instead of Nick, so why not start now?
But that didn’t mean you were going to be moving from the couch until he came, it was early enough that you didn’t need to start getting ready until after you ate.
On cue, Matthew starts banging on your door, yelling for you to let him in. “You can’t wear my sweatshirt out tonight,” he says, walking past you and plopping down on the couch.
“I’m getting dressed after we eat, calm down,” you say, taking a piece of pizza and shoving it in your mouth.
“Hey, I know you’re upset, which is why we’re going out tonight to get your mind off him Plus, one, he was a jackass, two, he was controlling, and three, it’s my fault anyway,” Matthew says, his eyes not leaving the pizza.
“How is it your fault?”
He looks at you, his curls moving slightly as he turned his head faster than you were expecting, “You were fighting because you were lying about spending time with me, and I’m the one who encouraged you to be with him in the first place. And I have been kicking myself for that every day since,” the last part he mutters under his breathe, you not even catching that he said it.
“I should have broke it off with him when he started getting mad about who I was spending time with. He was never mad about me spending time with Ashley, he just didn’t want me spending time with you. He was jealous of you.”
“Me? Why?” His heart was racing. Guys maybe dumb on the outside, but they know when another guy is into their girl, even if they don’t act on it.
“He always thought that you liked me, or something,” you say, laughing as you bight into the pizza. Maybe a part of you always liked him, too. You finish the piece, taking another one to bring to your room so you can start getting ready. “I’ll be back in like twenty minutes? Do I need to put on makeup, do you think?”
“How much do you care and how long will it take?”
“Not enough and too long.”
“Then no.”
“Sweet,” you say, going to your room with the pizza hanging out of your mouth. You get ready in what was probably record time, throwing on a crop top and jeans, your hair in a ponytail and just putting on mascara instead of doing a full face of makeup. “I need another piece before we go get drunk,” you tell him, throwing your bag down and taking another piece.
“I was planning on finishing this entire thing and then leaving, so hurry up, there are two more pieces.”
“One for you, one for me?” you suggest, reaching for the piece. You were already feeling better, seeing that he put away the ice cream for you, leaving the bottle of wine out in case you wanted to drink it, even though he had already been drinking from the bottle while you were getting ready. None of you cared, you just knew that it meant he would be buying you a drink tonight.
You both down the pizza, bringing the box with you on the way down to the Uber, excited to go out and just forget about Nick. “Where are we going?” you ask Matthew. He ordered the Uber, only telling you that it was somewhere you had been before.
“It’s only fitting that we go back to the last bar you went to as a single woman now that you are, again, a single woman,” Matthew says, getting you out of the car in front of the bar you met at. You can’t help at how excited he was to be there, you actually hadn’t been to that bar since that night you met Matthew. The two of you beeline to the bar, Matthew ordering you a drink.
“So, this is going on your tab since you drank my wine, right?” you say, him rolling his eyes at you.
“That bottle was so big, there was no way could have noticed that!” he let’s out.
“Don’t mess with a girl and her wine.”
He rolls his eyes again, pulling you in for a hug and kissing your head. “You’re gonna make some guy really lucky,” he laughs, as you smile and rest your head on his shoulder.
“Here’s for you,” the bartender says, coming back with two drinks and handing the first one to Matthew, “and here’s for your girlfriend?”
“Nah, just a friend,” he says, smiling at you as you playfully shove him. ‘Friends for now,’ he thinks to himself.
+one
Thank god he gave you his debut card or else this would not be an order you could afford on your own. Plus, it was his family that was flying in; when he met your family, you paid for the baked goods. His family was just bigger and more anxious so come see him since he was spending the summer here in Calgary with you instead of at home with them like he normally does.
“Hi, sweetie,” one of the older ladies who works at the bakery says when she sees you waiting, “Your usual for you and Matthew?”
Part of you hated that you had a usual order there, but the other part of you simply didn’t care that you frequented a local business enough that they know you. “Not today, actually. Matthew called in an order earlier in the week for pick up? It should be under his name.”
She goes into the back where they keep the orders, “Tkachuk?” she calls out, as you reach to take the order.
As your hand reaches to get the box, someone else goes for it, too. “Oh, sorry!” you say before seeing who it is. “Mr. Tkachuk, how are you?”
“Hi, Y/N, how are you doing? And come on, I’ve told you to call me Keith,” Matthew’s dad insists.
“I’m good, uh, Keith, I’m actually picking up this stuff for you guys tonight,” you say, gesturing to the large boxes of pastries Matthew had apparently ordered. You had no idea what he got, but all you know is if he didn’t have the lemon meringue mini pie that you loved, you were throwing hands. The other thing you knew was that Matthew’s parents and siblings were in Calgary to meet his new girlfriend. They knew he had been dating her for a while, that she lived with him, and that they already knew her. They didn’t know you were her.
“And here I am ordering stuff Chantal insisted we bring for you guys tonight. I know what Matthew loves, but what about his girlfriend, do you know her? What does she like?” he asks, squinting at the hand-written over head menu.
“Uh, yeah, I know her pretty well. She loves the lemon meringue mini pies. It’s kind of a coin toss as to whether or not Matthew remembers to order them for her.”
“That boy,” Keith says, shaking his head, “Guess he’s not going to be with this girl for that long if he can’t even think enough to get something she loves.”
You feel yourself not breathing at what he just said. Shit. Does he mean that Matthew doesn’t care enough about you to remember something as simple as a dessert that you like or that you would get fed up with it and end up breaking up with him. “Um, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” you say, trying to stop your voice from shaking. You’ve met his family plenty of times; but them not knowing you were officially dating was keeping you on the edge.
“Are you walking over to Matthew’s place or did you drive?” Keith says, not taking his eyes off of the case full of desserts.
“I walked, but I still have some other stuff to pick up while Matthew gets dinner finished,” you tell him, trying to inch your way towards the door without seeming overly rude.
“Alright then, we’ll see you at Matthew’s,” Keith says, still not looking up. Thank god, because the amount you were probably sweating would have been a little suspicious.
On your way out, you call Matthew. “Hey, babe, what’s up?” he says on the other end, the sound of pans clattering in the background. “Ah, fuck.”
“What did you drop?” you say, knowing him well enough.
“One of the pans, what else did it sound like?” he says.
“Was there food in it?” you ask. Nothing but silence from his end for a solid five seconds before you start, “What do I need to pick up on my way home now?”
“More sweet potatoes,” he says in a small voice, “Oh, and more Brussel sprouts.”
“You dropped both?” you say, going into the grocery store, arms already dull of the pastries. You really didn’t think this through with the walking and how much you were going to have to carry.
“No, I just already ate most of the sprouts and my mom said she was looking forward to them.”
You can’t help but laugh at him. A tough guy on the ice, but dear lord was he a child when it came to so much else. “Your dad didn’t mention anything about that when I saw him.”
“When did you see him?” he asks, another thing hitting the floor in the background, “Fuck! Can you get more cinnamon, too?”
“Ok, babe, you need to close things after you’re done with them so if they fall on the floor they don’t spill everywhere. And I just ran into him at the bakery, they should be on their way soon,” you tell him, picking out the vegetables he wanted.
“Good, my mom can help me clean then,” he lets out. “But what did my dad say, he normally puts his foot in his mouth without trying to.”
“Well, he asked me what your girlfriend would want for dessert and then said that if you can’t remember to get her what she likes then the relationship would be ending sooner rather than later.”
“Hey, that was one time I forgot to get you a lemon meringue pie and that was because I went when you were literally on the way to the airport for that conference,” he defends himself, making you laugh again. You probably looked like a maniac since you had your AirPods in with your hair covering your ears, but this was probably a normal scene in today’s society anyway. “But, hey, you’ve moved in already. I’m in this for the long haul, buttercup.”
You can’t help but smile when he says that as you try to check out by balancing the desserts in one hand while trying to find your wallet with the other. “Buttercup? There’s a whole world of pet names and NHL tough guy Matthew Tkachuk chooses ‘buttercup?’”
“Fine, then your nickname is...” he hesitates, “Garlic Powder.”
On your way back home, you stop out of shock from what he just said, “You really just opened the cabinet above the stove and called me the first thing you saw, didn’t you?”
“Maybe,” he says, again in a small voice. In the background, you can hear someone trying to get in to come up to us, hopefully, his family. “The rest of the Tkachuks are here, how far away are you?”
“I’m a block away, so I’ll be there soon.”
“Alright, see you soon. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
He hangs up, leaving you to walk back the rest of the way with just your thoughts. He’s in this for the long haul, but a father knows his son. On the other hand, it’s not like he pulls stuff like that all the time; that really was just one time and he’s made up for it in more ways than one.
You get to your building, mentally cursing the fact that you didn’t ask him to have someone wait to help you bring the stuff up. Trying to balance everything was going to end worse than Matthew in the kitchen, but he insisted on cooking for his family as you finally told them you were dating.
“Hi!” you say, struggling to open the door as Brady rushes to you and starts taking the boxes from you. “Thanks, Brady.”
“We thought you would be the girlfriend,” he admits, following you into the kitchen where Matthew is with his mom, still cleaning up the cinnamon from the floor.
“Don’t worry, you already know her.”
“Oh, really?” Brady questions. Matthew had been keeping his girlfriend a secret for a while, but he had his suspicions as to who it was for a while regardless.
“Dinner’s ready!” Chantal calls, her and Matthew bringing the food from the kitchen over to the table.
“I guess we’re having the sweet potatoes another time?” you ask Matthew, a little annoyed that you had to make the extra trip.
“They brought some with them and they’re in the oven now? As soon as they came in my mom goes, ‘You always knock something over, so we figured we’d bring vegetables with us.’ Taryn couldn’t keep a straight face,” Matthew says, visibly upset by this.
You roll your eyes and bring him in for a hug, his entire family out of sight as he kisses you on the top of your head. “They just know you well.” You steal a quick kiss, him following you over to the table where his family is already helping themselves to the food he had made.
“So, where is this girlfriend of yours?” Keith asks, eying both of you. It’s very possible they already knew you were dating; there were six places set and they probably figured out that you were staying for dinner.
“Well, Y/N is my girlfriend, now.” Matthew says, bringing you in for a side hug.
“I thought you were dating at the wedding?” Keith asks, “You had your hand on her leg the entire time, and it was pretty obvious something was going on.”
“Uh, no, that was a year ago, we’ve been together for about eight months now?” you say, looking at him. He shrugged it off, wanting to pretend that he had no idea. But he knew it was eight months, two weeks and a day since he asked you to be his girlfriend.
#matthew tkachuk#matthew tkachuk imagine#calgary flames#calgary flames imagines#flames#flames imagine#nhl#nhl imagines#hockey#hockey imagines#noah hanifin#brady tkachuk#both of them are mentioned so leave me alone#who actually reads my tags anyway?
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Talking about the Brattleboro Retreat in Brattleboro, Vermont
I recently spent two weeks at the Retreat and wanted to share my experiences both good and bad about it.
I arrived at the Retreat in mid-June of 2021 after a four day stay at the Emergency Department of my local hospital. Originally I had not wanted to go to the Brattleboro Retreat because it was such a big campus and I equated that with busy and loud and impersonal. The Retreat would challenge my assumptions.
Getting There
I didn’t drive myself. As I said I spent four days in the ED of my local hospital and so I arrived via ambulance. The ride was stressful and nauseating. I was already stressed and nervous and the mountainous winding roads did absolutely nothing to help. I didn’t lay in the stretcher, but sat in a back-facing seat with no arm rests and with a blood pressure cuff around my left arm.
The trip took about an hour and except for a few questions from the person riding in the back with me, it was spent in nearly complete silence, which again, did nothing to help my nerves. There was no reassurance or even light conversation.
My Arrival
When we got there, they grabbed my bags for me, probably because I wasn’t allowed to have them yet, and with one person before me and one person behind me, lead me up the stairs to the admissions office. We were met at the door by an admissions person and I was dropped off like an Amazon package. The ambulance personnel left and I was officially at the Retreat.
I was first led to Security. They dropped off my bags with Security, and asked me to empty my pockets. I had none and told them such. Then I was led to an exam room where the woman who was with me found a gown that would fit me and held it up in front of her. I was then told to strip completely. I balked, but obeyed. First went my shirt, then my bra, then I stepped into the gown. Then with that covering me, I wiggled out of my pants and underwear. She gave me a pair of hospital pants to put on so I wasn’t completely bare. Then I was shown a chair and given a pair of huge grippy socks to wear. One size fits all, I guess.
After that the lady took my blood pressure, my pulse, and checked my oxygen levels. Then she took my temperature. My clothes and shoes were sent to Security with the rest of my things. I had off-brand crocs as shoes so I had no idea what they needed to check for, but off they went.
After the clothing change I was led to an office. I felt so awkward standing in a grey hospital gown, blue hospital pants, no panties, and those huge grippy socks, in front of two nicely dressed office personnel. They let me have a seat and the questions and paperwork began.
What was my insurance? Did I know about the extra inpatient days allowed? Who was my primary care physician? My therapist? My psychiatrist? My case worker? Did I have an Advanced Directive? What are the addresses? Did I want a male or female provider? There were so many questions!
Then it was sign here, and here, and here, and here, and here.
After that I was given a green folder that said Welcome to Tyler 2 which contained various information that I would need during my time there. My patient Bill of Rights, how to file a complaint or grievance. That sort of stuff.
Then it was off to another area and now they wanted a urine sample. I had already done two at the hospital and really didn’t need to pee, but I tried. I assume it was for a drug test, but I have no real clue.
Then I was sent off to another exam room, this time for a full physical. She asked me all about my medical history, whether I was having normal bowel movements or not, all about my diabetes, my family history (cancer, cancer, cancer, cancer, heart disease, cancer, kidney failure, cancer), she even checked my reflexes. The ARNP that examined me had the neatest notebook. It was electronic and I was fascinated by it.
(At the time of writing this I’ve only been home for two full days and I still have a very clingy cat who is currently laying on my left hand so if you catch a typo that kitty has caused me, please let me know.)
After the physical I was given one outfit to wear back, sans bra because my bra was underwire, and I was sent to a seat to wait to be sent to the unit.
The lady who watched over me offered me something to drink while I waited and when she offered milk I took her up on it. Unfortunately it was 1% milk, which I really hate, but hey, milk, so I drank it while I waited.
I didn’t have to wait long. Before long a Security guard and a nurse from the unit I would go to came down and led me down one corridor, in one elevator, through a cafeteria, up another elevator, and finally I was on the unit.
Tyler 2
The first thing I noticed when I got on the unit was that the bedrooms were singles. Yes! I hate sharing my bedroom in hospitals. At the worst, I’d once had to share with three other people stuffed into a two person bedroom. Two poor souls had had to sleep on cots. So I was very happy to see that I would have my own room.
I was shown into an interview room for yet even more paperwork and questions. All this is the business of the psychiatric hospital and it comes at the literal worst time of your stay, the beginning. When you’re scared and your nerves are raw, and your mental health is at it’s worst.
A three question questionnaire was first. Why are you here? How can we help? What are your coping skills? Depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation. I don’t know. Reading and journaling.
Then there was a check list of things that helped when I was feeling bad. I was fascinated to see that laying down in my room was one of the options. Most hospitals I had been in forbade that, with some going so far as to lock the doors to the bedrooms during the day so people didn’t sleep the day away. It was a pleasant surprise, and I checked that off along with a few others that I felt applied.
Then, the nurse, and we’ll just call her Rose, asked me if I was hungry and told me that they always had sandwiches on the unit and that the kitchen which held milk, orange juice, flavored water, cold water, hot water, coffee, teas, and various snacks was open 24/7. I declined both sandwich and snack.
Finally, I was left alone for a couple of minutes and I had a moment to just breathe. It was a Thursday according to the giant whiteboard that had the day’s schedule on it. Most of the groups were over with.
A little bit later a bag was brought up with my clothes and another with the few things I was allowed to have: my Bible; two coloring books; two books (A Street Cat Named Bob and A Wrinkle in Time); my toothbrush, my hair brush, and my composition notebook; were given to me. The clothes I wasn’t given yet. I was told by a nurse that because of COVID they washed everything that came on the unit whether it was clean or not and I would get my clothes once they were dry.
I was then shown my room. Number 219 was to be my home for the foreseeable future. It was a fair sized room, the walls painted hospital blue, the floor had boring brown patterned tiles, There was a plastic chair, a twin size bed with a single pillow, and brown blanket, and bottom sheet. There was no flat sheet.
There was a set of built in shelves and a small alcove with an unbreakable mirror and large shelf where I put my green folder as well as my other personal belongings that I was permitted to have. I hung around in there for a few minutes before wandering back out and awkwardly looked around.
It was soon 8:30pm and Rose, who was my nurse that night, offered me my bedtime medications. I accepted and went to bed.
The Schedule
I slept fitfully that night. I was scared, they checked on me every 15 minutes, and it wasn’t quite dark when I went to bed. I woke up obscenely early the next morning, which is very unusual for me, but I attribute it to the uncomfortable mattress, the lack of my comfort item; a stuffed cat named Fat Cat that I sleep with, and the fact that my room had a double window that faced directly East. The sun rises at about 4:45am right now, so it woke me up at around 5:30am that morning.
I wandered out, thinking it was much later than it actually was, since it was fully light out. I sleepily blinked at the analog clock and tried to decipher it. Inwardly I groaned at the time. To kill time, I awkwardly wandered around the unit again, and I think I laid back down for a little while.
Eventually I left my room again and it was 7:30am. Shift change. I can’t remember who my nurse was that morning, but by 8am it had become quite the busy place with the morning nurses, the mental health workers, the social workers, and the group leaders milling about the nurses station.
I noticed that the whiteboard had changed with the day, and so I glanced at the Friday schedule.
8am - Breakfast
9am - Community Meeting
10am - OT Movement
11am - Psychotherapy
12pm - Lunch
1pm - Courtyard (yellow level)
2pm - OT Activities
3:30pm Shift Change
4pm - Courtyard (yellow level)
5pm - Supper
6:15pm - Game room/small courtyard (yellow level)
7pm - Wrap Up
8pm - Free Time
9pm - Relaxation
10pm - Phones/computer/TV off
Yes, we had a computer. Some guy we’ll just call J tended to hog it, but so long as it wasn’t group, before morning shift change or after 10pm or 11pm on Friday night and Saturday night, anybody could use it. Of course Facebook and YouTube were blocked, but Vimeo wasn’t. Can somebody please tell me the difference between YouTube and Vimeo?
I didn’t really go to groups that first day, and I was on Red level, so I wasn’t allowed outside even if I had wanted to. I did however see the Social Worker, a very nice woman we’ll just call M. and my doctor via ZOOM, Dr. L.
All of the staff was really nice to me, and the unit, which at that point had a census of 19, was actually fairly quiet for the most part.
When 8am hit, and the breakfast trays arrived, I asked where I should go to eat. I was told I could eat on the porch, the day room, or in my room. Eating in peace alone in my room. Yes, please. I took my tray, got a carton of milk, and walked down the hall to my room.
When I pulled the lid off my plate, I discovered eggs, home fries, and a corn muffin. I also had some fruit. I cautiously tried the potatoes and found them to be quite good, but couldn’t eat anything else so I took my tray back.
I hovered awkwardly around the schedule board until somebody brought me a chair.
Then it happened. My stomach began churning. I went to the nurses station and told one of the three nurses that I had a bit of an upset stomach and could I have something for it? She looked up something and told me I could have some Tums. She sent me to the med window and used some fancy machine to dispense the Tums. I stuck them in my mouth and chewed. I swallowed. It was then that I knew I had made a mistake. I literally felt the Tums hit my stomach, felt my stomach cramp, and then I was vomiting.
After that experience and the cleaning up thereof, I got my morning meds at around 9am, and soon found myself back in the interview room, this time with a nutritionist. At least I think that was Friday. It could have been Monday. Regardless, I talked to her about being sick (it wasn’t the first time, I had gotten sick back in the ED as well), my lack of appetite, my diabetes, the medication for diabetes I was on (2000mg of Metformin and .5mg of Ozempic). She gave me some information the nutritionist I had talked to from my doctor’s office had already given me, then ordered Glucerna for me three times per day.
Glucerna is the diabetics version of Ensure for those of you who don’t know.
I slept a lot that day, and I’m pretty sure I refused lunch and maybe supper. They checked on me - and everybody else - every 15 minutes, but otherwise didn’t pester me.
The next day, of course, started the weekend. I can’t remember the exact schedule for the weekend, but it was far, far more boring than then weekday. There was just Community Meeting which I wandered into but didn’t participate in, a couple more courtyard opportunities than on the weekdays, more free time, Wrap Up and Relaxation. Relaxation happened at 9pm, but I already considered that bedtime as that was when I got my bedtime medication.
Sunday was just a repeat of Saturday with one bright exception. Sunday Sundaes. At around 2pm we got ice cream with sundae toppings that we could have on it. I don’t think I got it that first Sunday, but I can’t quite remember.
Monday doesn’t bring any particular memories except that that’s when I started attending a group here and there.
Meeting Nathan
Then Tuesday came, and I met Nathan. Nathan was a Psych intern who is now no longer there, so I’m not afraid of using his name. Nathan did 11am Psychotherapy, but had been on vacation the week before as well as Monday. I liked him instantly. He spoke quietly, thoughtfully, gently, and never pressed for answers if the person didn’t want to or couldn’t.
At first, we only spoke in group, but after one group disintegrated into chaos he ended it early and offered to speak to me one-on-one. The one-on-one time I got with Nathan, which eventually became every weekday, became the best, most helpful part of my stay at the Retreat. Some of his questions were hard. They were either highly thought provoking or brought on strong emotions, but he was very skilled in not pushing too hard and always bringing me back to the present if I got too lost in the past.
I think I opened up more to Nathan in the week and a half that we spoke than I ever did in the two years I’ve seen my normal therapist.
The Nightmares
I’ve suffered from nightmares for a very long time. In my nightmares I’ve been raped, had my home invaded, seen demons, had my parents stolen away by a dragon (that one happened twice. Same stupid dragon too.), been kidnapped, been chased around Wal-Mart by paramedics with a stretcher, and so on and so forth. The nightmares I suffered at the Retreat were something else entirely.
The dream I remember most, and let me list off some trigger warnings real quick: blood; abortion; abuse; infant death; decomposition; bad parenting; bad medical professionals, was about this young woman who tried to do some sort of home abortion that got botched. She went to the hospital and they sent her strait to surgery where they cut her open with no painkillers or anesthesia. The baby was tiny, but healthy and viable, so they took her out of the young woman’s womb, and haphazardly stapled the woman’s abdomen back together.
Then the dream began to focus on the baby, but not in linear time, but rather in snapshots. In the first snapshots the baby was fine. Pink, perfect, beautiful little girl dressed in frills. Then the next day’s photographs and the baby’s face was turning black in places. The next; her eyes turned murky and there was more decomposition. Mind you, while she’s decomposing, she’s still alive. Then her little fingers turn black and fall off, and it continues like this until the fifth day when the baby finally dies.
The mother, who was recovering from her own trauma, couldn’t have cared less about her baby.
The nightmare turned weird after that and I don’t remember what happened next, but I continued to have vicious nightmares during my stay there.
Dr. L tried to treat them with Prazosin. but I found that it made my nightmares more vivid. Then she tried to get me in a deeper sleep so the dreams wouldn’t wake me up, but that only got me caught in the nightmares and unable to wake up.
We never did figure out how to ease the nightmares and keep me asleep at the same time. Right now we’re trying a higher dose of Gabapentin, also known as Neurontin. I guess we’ll see how it works out.
Strange Characters
There were some...interesting characters at the Retreat. There was one guy who we’ll call J. You may recall him from my complaints about him being a computer hog. He suffered from delusions of grandeur and I believe psychosis. One time I was in the open area near the nurses station he began staring at me suspiciously. Then, after a couple of very awkward moments he asks me, “are you an Imperial or a Rebel?” I told him I had no idea what he was referring to. Miss J who was sitting near by goes, “she’s an imperial, she’s a good girl.” Then J nods and says “I know she’s my sister in Christ, so she must be good.”
I still have no idea what he meant by Imperial or Rebel. Is it a Star Wars thing? If so I thought the Rebels were the good guys. I’m so confused.
Miss J was a homeless woman who had been there for nearly nine weeks. She was very nice to me, but she mumbled a lot and I had to keep asking her to repeat herself.
M was a strange old lady. She would sit at the nurses station and laugh and laugh and laugh as loudly as she could, then all of the sudden she’d be declaring one of the housekeepers an angel on earth and how he should be protected and how everybody else was basically garbage. She eventually got taken out via ambulance.
A was another strange woman. Having been there since May 27th, 2021, she was there involuntary, She talked to herself a lot, drank loads of coffee, walked in and out of groups, and was best buddies with a woman who liked to be called Rabbit, as her real name, the same name as A, triggered her. A and Rabbit were thick as thieves and fed off of each other’s chaos.
Rabbit liked to sing at the top of her lungs when she was happy and when she was angry she would file a grievance, announce loudly that Obama was her father and that you (the nurse she was screaming at) aren’t her boss. She was nice enough to me, but I went out of my way to be as non-intrusive as possible.
Then there was D. D was 30-years-old, claimed to have 12 children. D was volatile, a substance abuser who enjoyed “a drink, some weed, and some coke”. Pretty sure she didn’t mean the soda. D had a shadow who had to write down what she was doing every five minutes. I don’t know exactly why, for the most part, volatile or not, she was pretty chill. She dressed provocatively and the first time she spoke to me it was early morning and we were on the porch.
She asked me why I was there. I told her depression. She asks my why I was depressed. I admitted that there was a lot of trauma in my past. She tells me she’s been (tw:rape) raped all her life, and then proceeded to tell me that I shouldn’t be depressed because I was pretty and thin. Now. I’m smaller than D was, because I’ve never had children, let alone 12 of them, but I’m 5′3″ and 210 pounds; thin is not an adjective I would use to describe me.
She then proceeds to tell me that I needed a better bra. I was wearing a soft low support sports bra, so yeah, my chest area was very un interesting. I told her I was just wearing something I could sleep comfortably in. She told me to shop at Victoria’s Secret for some better bras and I’d feel great.
After that, D decides to mention the gray in my hair. She says “you should get extensions to make your hair long and pretty, or better yet, shave your head and wear wigs. It’s what the black girls do.” She then went on about how wigs could really look good and how I’d have so much fun with it that I’d forget all about being depressed and how there were some sites where you could buy some good wigs for really cheap.
As I recall, I was fairly unresponsive during her spiel and walked away as soon as it wasn’t rude to.
The Really Bad Day
I don’t recall exactly what day it was, time blurs for me on a good day, and I wasn’t having any good days while I was at the Retreat, but one day was really bad.
TW: Suicide
TW: Self-Harm
I was really, really suicidal, and I told the nurse I was talking to that. She asked if I had a plan, and for the first time I really did. I told her I would wait until right after a check - remember we got checked on every 15 minutes - then I would take a pair of my pants and wrap them around my neck and strangle myself.
Then she asked if I intended to follow through with the plan. I wanted to, I really did, but I also didn’t want to cause trouble, and that’s a huge issue with me, so I told her no. And that was the truth. I was suicidal, I did have a plan. I had a detailed plan actually. But I didn’t really intend of following through.
As you might expect, she had to report that to my doctor. Dr. L. spoke to me about how I was feeling and later, about five minutes after I had gotten on the computer to use Duolingo to distract myself, (See, I was using coping skills.), the nurse I had spoken to, and who I liked quite a lot, came to me and said that Dr. L wanted them to temporarily confiscate my clothes and take the sheet and blanket off my bed. It was to be replaced by blankets that couldn’t be ripped. Nurse E told me it wasn’t a punishment, it was a safety precaution, but I was so embarrassed and felt punished. I was allowed to keep the weighted blanket they had let me borrow, and my pillow, but other than that they took every bit of fabric in the room.
I don’t know if it was a good move or not. I just know that I wanted things back to ‘normal’, as though anything in a psych hospital could be normal, but the next day I lied to Dr. Lambert and told her I was feeling better. She said I could have my stuff back, but for some reason when I asked a nurse later on, she told me that there were no orders about it from Dr. L.
I asked again the next day and was finally able to get my linens and clothes back. I even got an extra pillow, for which I was very grateful for as my original pillow had been quite flat and hard.
The Road to Discharge
I was originally supposed to have been released on June 29th, a Tuesday, but I had to admit to Dr. L that I just didn’t feel like I could be safe at home yet. Not to mention that we were still trying to deal with my nightmares and sleep issues.
Dr. L and M, my social worker began giving me assignments to do. I was to fill out a safety plan, which I did. M had me write a letter to my regular therapist about the changes I needed her to make to improve our sessions. I am terrified to read it to her, but I really need to. I was given a huge stack of DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) information and worksheets to fill out, Nathan had me write something about a cousin of mine who had passed away due to an overdose of Fentanyl, and so I wrote her a letter telling her how much I missed her, how I was angry she was gone, disappointed that she couldn’t tell me she was back on drugs, how I was angry at her mom for getting her hooked on drugs in the first place, and ways I could have helped if she had just let me.
Meanwhile, people found out that I could make things out of the Model Magic that they had in the Contraband/Sensory room. I made I can’t even remember how many cats for people. I also made roses, and one dragon.
I was also writing dark poetry, just trying to purge my dark thoughts and get them out on paper.
Nathan continued to have one-on-one therapy with me each weekday, even if he only had half an hour.
I was meeting with my social worker daily, which they normally didn’t do, but when she realized that I wouldn’t go to them if I needed something, she decided to head it off, and meet with me, even if it were only a couple of minutes, each week day.
Finally, we decided on a day. Friday, July 2, 2021. I was so nervous, but so excited to come home and see my furbaby, Loki.
When the day came, I dressed in the nicest clothes that I had brought, which was a pair of elastic waist jeggings and my pink Cat Mom t-shirt which everybody loved. I only went to one group that day, and that was Psychotherapy, and I had my meeting with Nathan. I had one last meeting with Dr. L. and my social worker. My nurse that evening gave me my treatment plan which had my diagnoses. (Major depressive disorder, severe; Borderline Personality Disorder; and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Just as supper arrived I got the word that my ride was there.
Final Thoughts
Being at the Brattleboro Retreat was a difficult experience, but it was also a positive experience. In the beginning I was mad I wasn’t at the place where I had wanted to go, which was the Windham Center, but by the end of my first week there, I had decided to make the best of where I was. I didn’t like all the nurses, I definitely had my favorites and those I dreaded, not that they were ever mean to me, but I’m not sure, there’s just people you don’t like, you know?
I was on a great schedule while I was there. I was up no later than 8am and went to bed around 9pm, I ate at specific times. I got my medicine at specific times, and that routine was very comforting. Did I keep to it when I got home?
No. It’s currently 12:26 in the morning and I’m working on this still.
I’m still drinking my Glucerna, no matter that it costs me $40 a week for three a day, but I just don’t want to eat. Oh, I nibble. I’ve eaten some chocolate graham crackers and sipped on a 20oz Vanilla Coca Cola over the last four days. I just don’t eat.
I learned, while I was there, that it’s okay to speak up, to take up space, to have a voice, even if it’s quiet, I learned that it’s okay to get angry or ask for help. I can ask people for what I need. I don’t know how well I’ll be able to apply what I learned, but that’s always the hardest part of learning any new skill.
I know that this has been a huge amount of reading, but I wanted to give you a detailed example of what a psychiatric hospital is like. I hope that it informs you and I hope that if you’re heading to a psychiatric hospital or treatment center that maybe after reading this you’ll have less fear and anxiety because you have some clue as to what to expect.
I would also like to let my readers know that these are just my personal experiences in an American psychiatric hospital. I have no idea about British hospitals or European hospitals or even hospitals in other parts of the United States. My experiences in hospitals in Florida is a stark contrast to my experience in Vermont hospitals. I find Vermont’s response to medical care and psychiatric care in general is substantially better than Florida’s. I’ll do a post on that later.
Ask for help. Take up space. Use your voice.
National Suicide Hotline: 800 273-8255
Crisis Text Line: Text START to 741741
By the way, if you need me to tag another trigger word, please just send me a message and I’ll edit the tags to take your trigger word in consideration.
#tw:rape#tw:abortion#tw:suicide#tw:self-harm#tw: selfharm#tw: infant death#depression#anxiety#borderline personality disorder#BPD#PTSD#CPTSD#psychiatric hospital#psychiatric#psychotherapist#psychotherapy#vermont#florida#hospital#Brattleboro#Brattleboro Retreat#psychiatrist#therapist#experiences#experience#help#voice#use your voice
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Very Good Friends (Chapter 9)
Catch up here: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8]
Reader x Henry Cavill, Reader x co-star named Dan
Warning: This tale is for 18+ readers ONLY!!! Mentions of flashbacks: (rape, anal sex, non-con sex, abuse), severe bruising and injury, mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression, humiliation, and some fluff to make us feel better. Smut comes later on in the story… Several chapters down the road… I promise!!!
If ANY of the warnings upset you or make you uncomfortable, DO NOT read below the cut! go find something else to read in this case.
If you are okay with reading those things then enjoy the tale below the cut.
Feedback and reblogs are appreciated. I do not own Henry nor do I have any personal knowledge of him besides what is common knowledge amongst the Cavillary. Any mistakes and typos are mine, story is not beta-tested. GIF I got from the tumbler search thingy.
**********
Henry sighs and looks at the clock on his phone, it says it’s 9am. It’s still raining outside, and he sighs. Getting up, he heads back out to the living room, then goes to check on you in his bedroom. You’re still asleep and he smiles, glad that you’re finally getting rest. He goes back to the living room and puts the stereo on and turns the volume so it’s playing the classical music station softly to hopefully drown out any noise from your fellow cast-mates outside.
Henry heads for the kitchen and tries to figure out what to make for breakfast / brunch. He settles on omelets and takes out some bacon and pops it on a cooling rack then sets that in a jelly roll pan and preheats the oven. Then he takes out some bell peppers and washes them, then slices them up.
Taking a hand full of the peppers, he dices them and puts the rest of the strips into a zipper baggie and tosses them in the freezer. The diced peppers, he puts into a bowl, then chops some green onion tops, and garlic adding them to the peppers.
He pops the bacon in the oven once it’s preheated and sets the timer. He bakes it so it’s crispy and crumbles easily. He grins when he sees you stirring through the open bedroom door, as the smell of bacon permeates the trailer. He comes over to you and sits on the edge of the bed by your legs as the bacon cooks.
You yawn and stretch, moaning as your body protests. “Morning, Kitten.” He tells you. You blink and look at him all bleary eyed. “Morning Bear.” You say hoarsely and rub your throat and grimace from the pain. He reaches over and caresses your head. “How about something hot to drink and some pain meds?” he suggests.
You nod and try to sit up. Your face contorts the pain, and you start to cry. Henry carefully picks you up and gently sets you in his lap. “I know, Sweetie. I’m sure it hurts a lot.” He says. You nod and cry into his neck. “Why did he have to do this to me, Bear? I don’t know if I can stand this pain!” you cry. “Honey, where is it hurting the worst?” he asks, not sure he wants to know the answer.
“My ass, my pussy and my lower belly.” You mumble, feeling humiliated. “Shhh, I know it hurts, Kitten. The doc said it was gonna hurt there for a while, remember, Honey? Ya gotta just keep taking your meds and antibiotic so the lesions don’t get infected.” He reminds you. “Now, do you think you can get ready for the day on your own, or are you gonna need my help?” he asks caressing your face.
“I’ll try on my own. I’ll call for you if I need you.” You tell him. “Okay, Sweetheart.” He tells you and kisses your forehead. “I’m gonna make some omelets for brunch for us. those are nice and soft. Is there anything else you want?” He asks. “Pancakes? Those small ones that are like two bites and gone” you ask.
He chuckles and remembers the ones you’re talking about. “Slider cakes?” he asks. You grin and nod. He chuckles. “Okay, I’ll see if I can find a recipe for pancake batter since I don’t have any premade stuff.” He says. “You go get ready and I’ll turn the music down so I can hear you. Take your phone with you. If I don’t hear you calling for me, text me.” He tells you. “Okay, Bear.” You say and give him a hug. “Thank you.” You say quietly.
Henry rubs your back. “We’ll get through this together, Kitten. Everyone’s asking what happened and where you are now that your trailer is gone. They’re worried about you.” He tells you. “They called me this morning asking if you’re okay. There’s a meeting with the director, the producers, the studio executives and all of us cast today at 2 pm that we need to be at, alright?” he tells you. You groan. “I don’t want to go anywhere, Hen.” You say.
“I know, Honey, but they specifically asked me to make sure you come.” He tells you. “No one is gonna be mad at you, Sweetheart. Everyone’s concerned for you and the film. You’ll be alright. I’ll stay right with you, okay?” he tells you. “Okay, Hen.” You reply in a whisper.
“Hen, why is there a meeting being called?” you ask, whispering. Henry sighs. “Dan’s PR person started a smear campaign trying to ruin your reputation and career now that he’s arrested and being charged with rape and assault. This means the end of his career and he is trying to salvage it or drag you down with him since you’re new to the industry. He is saying that he is the innocent one and trying to blame you for it all. We all know he is lying and it’s doing all kind of damage for the film, and all our costars are backing you, saying that you’re the one who was harassed and assaulted by him, not like what he is saying.
It’s a PR nightmare for our agents and the studio. There’s been talk of pulling the plug on the film depending on what the public outcry ends up being. There’s also been talk of re-casting a different actor for the role Dan had and re-filming ALL of those scenes over that he was in, which means a significantly delayed release. In either case the studio has been talking about going after Dan for damages and the extra expenses / loss of income due to his selfish actions.
The meeting is most likely to inform our costars exactly what happened to you and how bad it was and is, and to inform us all what their decision is regarding filming and the movie’s survival, and probably legal actions being taken against Dan.
All of us regret not reporting Dan sooner for his constant harassment of you, Kitten. We’re all sorry we didn’t try to notify the studios to have it stopped sooner. Perhaps if we would’ve done that, we might’ve spared you all this agony.” Henry says with an ashen face.
“The doctor said that he thinks Dan had some kind of sleeve or harness on his dick that had hard nubs or ridges that made the lesions inside you when he raped you. The doc said that it’s supposed to be used with lube to keep it soft and since he didn’t use lube, that is what made so much damage and pain for you. He said you bled a lot from it too, and judging by the extent of the damage, that he raped you for quite a long time.” Henry tells you quietly.
You close your eyes and whimper. Nodding, you say, “Now that you mentioned it, I do remember feeling something weird when he was inside me both times that I was conscious. It felt all bumpy and I didn’t understand why. When I woke up, there was blood all over my legs and lower half, and the sheets.” You say quietly. I washed most of it off on my body, as best as I could before you found me.” You say quietly.
“Honey, I want to ask you something. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. Okay?” Henry says, cupping your face and looking down at you with fear in his eyes as well as concern.
You look up at him and nod. “Honey was this your first experience with sex?” he asks quietly.
You sigh and look down at your fingers. You leaned against Henry’s chest and could hear his heart pounding. You sigh and nod. You hear his heart skip a few beats, feel his body slump, and hear him groan. He wraps his arms around you gently, cupping your head with his massive hand and resting his on yours just trying to encompass you in comfort. “I’m SO sorry, Kitten. So very, very sorry.” He says softly and kisses the top of your head. “A woman’s first time should never, ever be like this.” He rumbles.
“I – I was saving myself for the man I-I loved. For when I married. Now, I don’t know what to do… I feel like dirty, trash. How can any man want me now? He damaged me so badly, Hen! How can anyone like having sex?!? If this is what sex is like, I don’t want to ever experience it again!” You say in a whisper with tears streaming down your face.
Henry sighs and dries your tears with his thumb, “Honey, sex should never ever feel like this. What he did was not sex, it was not making love. It was him fucking like an animal with no regard for the other person. He used you for his own selfish pleasure like an animal in heat. Which is the worst thing a man can do to a woman. I’m SO sorry. So very, deeply sorry!” he says, choking back tears and holding you closely, rocking you in a front to back motion trying to comfort the both of you.
“I hope that someday, once you’ve healed both physically and emotionally, you will give the right man a chance to show you what it really is like to make love and be intimate and hopefully he can show you how wonderful sex can make you feel if it’s done properly and with someone you deeply love and trust.” He tells you, cupping your face with his massive hand. “The right man will see past all this, and love you any way.
You are not trash, Sweetheart, nor are you dirty, or broken. You are a survivor, my wonderful little Kitten. You are brave, you are kind, you are our little ray of sunshine, and you are deeply loved and appreciated by many, many people.
Honey, I can’t imagine what all he put you through, but know that you are the strongest and bravest woman I know. I don’t know anyone who could endure the amount of pain you suffered and are suffering because of what Dan has done to you. And though you are new to this industry, you choose to bravely stand up to him and have him held accountable and charged for what he did in hopes of keeping him from doing this to other women. Risking your career and reputation to stand up to your abuser, and to protect other women from him is a very brave thing, Sweetheart.
You’ve earned the respect of many in the industry because of your decision. We all saw how he treated you on set, y/n. We’ll stand behind you and support you in this battle. You won’t be doing it all alone.” Henry encourages you as he rests his head on yours.
“You are an amazing woman, y/n. Don’t let his poisonous words and deeds bring you low. You are better than him, and you are loved by many unconditionally and you will overcome this and shine the brighter. Okay?” he assures you.
You look at him in disbelief, then your eyes get glassy and you bury your head against his chest and cry quietly. He rubs your back gently for a few moments. Letting you process everything.
“Now, Kitten, I need to get breakfast going. Go get cleaned up and dressed in whatever is going to be comfortable for you for today. It’s raining and probably rather cool outside.” Henry informs you. You nod and he lifts you off his lap, gently placing your feet on the floor and holding you for a moment. You sigh and reach over to his face and caress his stubbly jaw. “Thanks, Bear.” You whisper.
Henry closes his eyes, leans into your hand and then reaches up and cups it in his. “I mean it, Kitten. You are a treasure to us all, you’re a strong survivor, and we love you.” He confirms and kisses your palm. “Now go and get ready.” He says as the buzzer for the bacon goes off. He stands and gives you a gentle nudge towards the bathroom.
More chapters to come...
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#very good friends#henry cavill#henry x reader#PROTECTIVE HENRY#kitten#bear#pain... lots of pain#discussions#remembering#encouragement#supportive friends#supportive cast#building trust#building her up#breakfast#bacon#slider pancakes#loss of virginity#mentions of rape#mentions of noncon sex#mentions of sextoys#morning discussions#bravery#standing up#taking a stand#defending others
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Trouble in Devildom Town, Part 1/3
In this short story, our dear Leviathan is back with another one of his “hey I teleport you Normies into a game world”- kinda games. What will the happen inside the world of the game “Trouble in Terrorist Town”??
This story contains two OCs/ MCs, so if you´d like to know more about the girls Violet and Clover, you can check out their character designs & descriptions on my blog :D
Hope you´ll have fun on this three-parted adventure!
Approximate reading time: 10~15 minutes
Words: 3.156 words
It was a calm, neat Saturday evening, when a new message hit the "House of Lamentation" group chat...
Leviathan:
OMGGGGGG
GUYS (and girls LOL)
YOU NEED TO COME OVER TO MY ROOM ASAP
Satan:
?
Mammon:
To your room? Seriously?!
Asmodeus:
I can't remember having Levi calling us over ever before... What's going on??
Leviathan:
LESS TALKING, MORE COMING OVER.
Lucifer:
I do hope for you this matter is worth the ruckus...
Clover:
We'll be there in a sec!
And so, the whole mansion's population found themselves in the third-born's room a few minutes later.
"Levi..." Being the last one to step inside the crowded room, Belphegor was rubbing his eyes in a tired manner. "Would you tell us what's going on now...?"
However, Leviathan wasn't really going to answer any of their questions.
Instead, he was prompting his guests to close the door, his gaze drifting over all of them.
Lucifer crossed his arms.
"This maniac expression on your face is highly worrying, Levi," Lucifer said.
Levi turned towards his computer, hectically mashing his keyboard, clicking on several pop-ups that appeared on his monitors, before finally turning around to properly face them.
He wore a crazy smile.
"Dammit, Levi," Mammon burst out, "I'm not in the mood for your weird shi-"
Ignoring him, Levi spoke in his best terrifying voice.
"I welcome you..."
Before anyone could react, he pressed a last key, then the monitors emitted such a strong light that all of them had to close their eyes.
Slowly able to see again, the nine of them suddenly found themselves in a little shack.
"What... What happened...?" Violet was the first one to take a proper look around. "Where are we?!"
Leviathan's laugh pulled them out of their confusion. He spread his arms triumphantly.
"Welllcome tooo....
Trouble in Terrorist Town, the special, virtual reality but actually it's true reality -edition!!"
"Trouble in... What?" Mammon asked.
"Wait..." Clover was searching for Levi's attention. "I know this game, I've played TTT before. But why are we... really here?"
Satan shot his otaku brother a glare.
"Is this one of your real life games that you are only allowed to leave when you win??"
"Kind of," Levi laughed. "Don't worry though, if you die here, you don't die for real. You'll get kicked into a spectator lobby and we'll all respawn together once the round is over."
The oldest brother gave a stressed sigh.
"Really, now..." Lucifer rubbed his temples in distress. "Why do you always force us into playing your games without asking first...?"
"Well... I feared all of you would say no if I did" Levi responded, actually in a slightly sad tone.
When Lucifer breathed another sigh, they heard Asmo giving a weird squeal.
"Look at our outfits tho~!" he hummed.
He was standing in front of a partly broken mirror, posing while blowing his reflection some hot kisses.
"A simple black, military look, slightly armoured just at the right places... And oh my, tight clothes just show all those curves and perfections of my astonishing body..."
As he was looking around to find someone who would agree with him, his eyes landed on Clover.
"Isn't that right, darling~?"
The girl didn't even look at him.
Instead, she was staring at somebody else with a heavy blush covering her face.
"Y-yeah... Curves and... Perf... Perfection..."
Asmo wouldn't need to, but nonetheless he followed her gaze to find the sixth-born.
Of course, Beelzebub noticed this piercing glare that laid on him, but (fortunately for the girl), he was too pure to correctly interpret the thirst behind it.
"Huh? Clover? Are you not feeling well? You look like you have a fever..."
He hurried over to check that her face was truly burning hot, and of course only getting warmer now that he was this close, in this soldier like, perfect, absolutely stunning uniform that just-
"GUYS!!"
Thankfully, Leviathan saved the girl from passing out.
"The game is about to start soon and you don't even know the rules!!"
With a little frown, Violet leaned against the wooden wall that Satan was already rested against.
"So we're really going to play this crazy game...?" she mumbled so only the blond could hear.
She gained a chuckle.
"I guess so..." Satan whispered. "Although I must say, weird and extreme as they may be, but Levi's games can be quite amusing if you just go with the flow."
She mustered him, then a smile spread on her face as well.
"Well, I guess we should take all the opportunities we can to do crazy stuff while Clover and I are here in the Devildom."
Before Satan could answer, Levi threw a pebble at them.
"You listen as well, Normie!!"
Then, he finally went to explain the rules...
"In our group of nine, there are three that are not like the rest...
They are traitors.
They work as a trio, trying to kill all the other players in order to win the game.
But who are they, you ask yourself?
Well, that is a thing only they know, and THE thing the innocent one's have to find out.
To their guidance is the almighty detective.
Unlike the traitors, the detective can, or should, reveal his role so that the remaining players, called the 'innocents', can protect him better.
Then, logically, the innocents' and detective's goal is to find the three traitors and eliminate them.
When the game starts, we may run out of this shack and will have additional two minutes to spread over the map. Keep in mind that in those two minutes it is impossible to harm your co-players, but after that, it's time for war.
The map is covered with all sorts of weapons that may help you in the epic fights we will have.
But behold!
Both, the traitors and the detective, have access to special weapon shops, where they can, any time, any place, trade achievement points for super cool, limited items to grant their victory!
On your wrists, a health bar will appear, but you can only see your own. Once your life points reach zero, you will be put into said spectator lobby and may follow the game like ghosties in the sky! Then you will also see who has which role."
Levi took a look around after having finished.
"Any other questions?"
Belphie raised his hand.
"Do the traitors know who the other traitors are? Or can they kill each other?"
"Very good questions! They know of each other, but they may also kill each other if it gives any tactical advantages. Their goal is to have at least one traitor alive at the end of the game while the rest is dead.
Ah, I forgot to say...! If an innocent person or the detective kills another innocent one, they will die as well, as a penalty."
After a round of silence, everyone looked as if they were ready.
"Good to go?" Levi checked one last time.
Gaining nods as an answer, a big smile grew on Levi's face.
"Alright!!! Then...
Let's begin!!!"
The players were just about all out of the shack when the game officially started.
A giant countdown manifested in the bright sky of day that, judging by the bright sunlight, must have been the sky of the human world.
Two minutes were slowly ticking down.
Levi was pointing up at the clock...
"After this preparation time starts the overall time of one hour. If that time is over, the innocents will win as well. But for every person the traitors kill, they gain five minutes to add to the counter."
... And then he pointed down on his arm.
"You should all see a role written on here. And the traitors will see two other player's names on here as well."
He gained a round of hesitant nods.
"Our player names are displayed above our heads. Be careful, they might reveal your position if you're not hiding well enough."
They heard Belphie snort with laughter.
He pointed above Mammon's head.
"'StupidMammon'? I like that name, it's better than your real one!"
"Huh?!" Mammon looked up to see it himself. "WhAT?! Levi, did you give me this shitty name AGAIN?!??"
"Lolololol, sorry Mammon, I had to."
Kind of automatically, everyone needed to check their names before doing anything else.
Lucifer raised an eyebrow.
"Most of our names are normal, though... We have Beel, Belphie, I am 'Lucifer' as usual..."
"Yep! I am Levi-chan, and the Normies are Violet-chan and Clover-chan."
"What an honour to have a naming scheme fitting your name," Violet smiled.
"Well, I felt kind today. Don't push your luck, or I'll change it into Normie #1 and Normie #2 for the next round."
O moment later, Satan gave a sigh.
"... Why am I called 'Stan'?"
Levi looked at his name.
"... Oh. Must be a typo lololol"
The others laughed a little, while the Avatar of Wrath tried to contain his displease, but out of all, Asmo seemed to find it the most amusing.
Which was weird, because he was completely ignoring the fact that his nickname wasn't normal either, but there was an extra fat "Ass-mo" written above his head...
After a round of getting used to the sensation of being inside a video game, Violet clasped her hands to finally get things started.
"Could we get going? There's only less then a minute left before the friendly fire wears off."
Very grateful for helping to get the game going, Levi was about to dismiss everyone, when he remembered one important detail.
"WAIT!!" he screamed.
"What?! I wanna go already...!" Asmo whined.
Levi looked around.
"The most important role!! Who's the detective?!"
Everybody shot each other glances, then, finally, a little "ah!" caught their attention.
Their gazes landed on Mammon.
"There's 'detective' written on my left arm, so I guess it's me?"
"WHAT?!" Levi pressed out. "OH, MAN....! Why does it have to be MAMMON?!"
"Well, I guess the innocents are on their own, then," Satan agreed to Levi's resignation.
"With Mammon as the most powerful innocent, the traitors have a clear advantage," Lucifer agreed, too.
"Aw, maaan, and I was hoping for an exciting first round..." Asmo pouted, of course, in agreement.
The white haired male gave a growl.
"H-hey!!! Don't be like this, I'll kill those traitor bitches in no time!!"
But no one was listening.
In a collective sigh, all the others automatically started to move, not a single soul feeling the need to stick to the one person they knew was one of the good ones.
"Hey!!" Mammon called out again. "Aren't ya innocents s'posed to guard me?! Where are y'all going?!?!"
... But no one was listening.
"Grr... Just you wait...! I'll slay this game!!"
And with that, he turned to follow behind Lucifer and Violet, whining and screaming at them to wait for him, only to see how Lucifer was fastening his step.
Walking through the deserted village and onto a wide, open area, Clover soon felt her fear of being chased kick in.
Somehow, she had ended up all by herself, but that only made stumbling about so much worse.
But now, as she turned her head to check if someone was following her, she saw how Satan had been trying to follow her in silence.
As they locked eyes, however, he greeted her with a smile and went up to her as if nothing had happened.
"... Hi," Clover mumbled carefully.
"Please don't mind my behaviour," the blond said while gesturing to continue walking together. "I still have to figure out how to properly behave in this situation. I mean, it's not every day that we suddenly face each other as maybe allies, maybe enemies... right?"
The girl shot him a sceptical glance.
"Well, that's true... But if your goal is to not appear suspicious, then... Don't to that again. Just a friendly little piece of advice."
Satan laughed.
"Yes, my apologies. You see, you have mentioned you know this game, so I found it best to stick to you."
They halted as they found a pistol laying on a boulder nearby, a package of ammunition right next to it.
Both of them were hesitating, then Satan turned around to continue.
"You take it," he said, obviously trusting that Clover wouldn't shoot his back right this instant.
Well this, or he was already bearing a weapon...
"I've seen people play this game lots," Clover continued the conversation. "I know how everything works, but I'm afraid I'm pretty bad at all the aiming stuff..."
The two reached a weird cliff that parted the land in a huge gap, no ground to be seen in the huge depths. One of those super unstable-looking wooden bridges was leading to the other side.
The platform on the other side was rather small, with only a few buildings in the middle of it.
Satan held his chin in a contemplative manner.
"I bet there must be some rare items waiting for those who would go that far and cross the bridge..."
Clover gave a nod.
"Probably... Welp, you can get the stuff, I have terrible fear of heights, so I'm not going over that wobbly bridge thingy."
The girl was about to leave again, but the male got hold of her wrist.
"No, you're coming with me."
"What?! Why?"
He searched for her eyes.
"Look. I trust that you're innocent, and I ask you to trust me, too. I could have already killed you if I wanted to, when you were all alone. But we need to work together if we want to stand a chance against the traitors and whatever special weapons they might have."
He made a little pause while the girl fought with herself to make up her mind.
"Please," he said again.
Finally, Clover gave an annoyed grunt.
"Fiiiine..." she grumbled. So, she pointed at the bridge. "But you go first... Mister Stan."
She stressed his nickname in a manner to mock him.
Satan looked at her for a moment, dazzled, then he turned around and could only give a breathy laugh.
"See, now you can be sure that I am innocent. Because if I was allowed to kill you just now, I definitely would have."
"Oooh, Leviii!"
Asmo was nearly doing little jumps while trotting alongside the third-born. His excitement was visible, but very odd, and of course Leviathan noticed that his brother was acting strange.
"Asmo, for Lord Diavolo's sake, what's wrong with you?!"
Putting on his best puppy eyes, Asmo looked at him all innocent.
"Eeh? Shouldn't you be happy that somebody actually enjoys your weird games for once?"
Levi growled in response, moving through the deserted village with such care, as if death could be waiting behind every next corner.
... Well, it could, yes, but his super secret agent act was just... a little too much...
"Sure, but... You're almost TOO excited about this. A little shady, if you ask me... Like, out of all games, why would one where we kill each other be one to wake your interest?!"
He gained a dramatic rolling-of-eyes.
"Oh, please, Levi! It's not the killing or tactical contemplation that gets me excited... But think about the potential that this scenario bears!"
They peeked inside one of the empty houses.
There were two weapons inside, a crowbar and a shotgun without ammunition.
Breaking the nearest window, Levi climbed inside to pick them up, and was kind enough to give Asmo the crowbar even though he hasn't done anything worth gaining it (as Asmo had even been too scared to get a cut from climbing through the broken window so he didn't move an inch).
"What potential, exactly?" Levi asked, more because he felt like Asmo would pressure him into asking that anyway.
Glad that he could continue his speech, Asmo placed a dramatic hand on his forehead.
"The potential for drama, Levi!! Just imagine... us lonely wolves lumbering through the streets, and our maidens Violet and Clover shivering in fear!"
He changed his pose, wrapping his arms around himself as if hugging someone.
"Oh, whom should they trust?? Their hearts, their minds, or just nobody at all?!"
Then, he suddenly grabbed Levi by his shoulders, getting pretty close to his face.
"Love blooms in times of war, Levi! And I will take every chance I can to see those flowers in their full beauty!"
Silence.
Then, Levi gave an exhausted sigh.
"... Can you please go away...?"
And Asmo let go of him.
"Tsk. Okay, if you're not mentally able to understand the depth of my words, then I shall find a better place to fulfill my tasks...!"
"Sooo, Beel, where you wanna go?"
The twins were already out of town, kind of heading towards the edge of a nearby forest.
The taller one seemed to be searching for something.
Then, he held his stomach.
"I'm... Hungr-"
"No, don't even say it" Belphie sighed. "Are you, really? Even inside a game?"
Beel only gave a pout, so Belphie continued after a while.
"Well, if we must secure you won't go on a rampage and destroy the whole game, then the forest might be the best place to find something for you."
And so, Belphie continued heading straight towards the green.
After a while, however, Belphie noticed how his brother wasn't following any more.
Turning around, Beel had stopped completely and was looking off into the distance behind them.
When Belphegor asked him what was wrong, the other male slowly shook his head.
"Where did everyone run off to?" Beel asked. "I can't see any of the other players..."
"Hm... I saw Violet, Lucifer and Mammon go into the forest as well... Asmo and Levi seemed to have stayed near the village... And I don't know where Satan has gone."
Now Beel turned his head.
"And Clover?"
"Uhm... She went somewhere... there, I think. I heard her talk with Levi when we left, but it seemed like she wasn't going to stay with him."
"So she's all alone right now?"
Belphie got a little confused over Beel's worried expression.
"Well, maybe. But she could be a traitor, so why are you so worried about her?"
Beelzebub's gaze drifted away again.
"I just... Don't like that thought." He snapped back at his smaller brother. "And by the way, you could be a traitor as well."
Belphie leaned back in a carefree manner.
"Yeah, but I told you I'm not. You don't believe me? I believe you're innocent, too!"
Beel gave a little sigh.
"But you can read me like a book, even if I tried lying to you..."
They kept standing there in a little silence.
Then, without further ado, Beel grabbed his brother by his arm, turned around, and kept going into a different direction.
"Beel, what are you...?! Weren't you hungry?! What about the forest??"
"... I sense food over there. Don't worry, and let's get going."
#obey me#obey me fanfic#obey me shall we date#obeyme#obey me oc#obey me mc#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me beel#obey me belphie#violet#clover#fanfic#trouble in terrorist town
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