#i meant sage IN THE FIRST TAGS
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Sumeru roses, House of Daena, Sticky notes.
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Being an asisstant for the scribe isn't so bad. Just ignore the persistent overtimes, the scent of your perfume everywhere, and the new ink bottles that keep running out on his desk. You didn't anticipate red being his favorite ink to work with.
A/n: more than 2.5k words. I didnt bother counting. I hsed google translate for arabic whoops sorry not sorry <3 also its been a while since i wrote.
Warnings/tags: reader is g/n, yandere Alhaitham, Alhaitham x reader, stalking, paranoia, obsessive themes, very very subtle mentions of blood (if you squint), kind of drawn out? Horrible arabic google translate quote. Probably OOC but you can ignore that
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You admit, being an asisstant isn't so bad.
Of course, at first when you broke the announcement to your parents you wanted to further your studies at the Akademiya, your parents werent approving. They wanted you to get a cushy job and earn as soon as possible; you don't blame them. Having that life sounds peaceful, however, you think delaying it a bit won't hurt. You haven't had the proper chance to really scour the library at your own leisure, at least, not as a student.
So, while job-hunting, (which was wonderfully disrupted by the huge Archon-Overthrow-play-god plan for a good few weeks,) you got an offer as the Asisstant of the Grand Sage; which was suspicious from how good of a title it was. The Akademiya was desperate to get back on it's feet, and who were you to deny the offer?
Of course, it didn't quite occur to you until the first day of your job you'd be working alongside Alhaitham, the scribe of the Akademiya (and perhaps his infamous title as the one who curated a plan to foil Azar's shenanigans).
Which was fine. He was generally alright,if not great to work with. Straightforward, clear, brief, analytical and most of all – he wasn't pushy. Which was a relief, of course. You managed to make small talk from time to time (if you could really call it that,) and came to a consensus with him on many things, mostly that both of you were not pleased with overtime. The moment the clock hit 5:00 PM, both of you were out of your offices and posts. You were mutually respectful, and generally tolerated each other well.
Of course, things at your job got shaken up when your schedule was thrown off balance. Your favorite drink always ran out, your mornings were crowded and somehow you started showing up later than usual, which meant you went home later aswell (much to your dismay).
Another strange series of events started taking place, if you could even call it that. You swear you haven't been watering the plants in front of your home, and the soil is dry enough, so how are they so.. vibrant? And recently, you swear one of the plants is growing a little too much, basically covering one of the windows, threatening to break it. Sticky notes scattered around the front of your house which you originally thought of as littering from those raucous kids your neighbours can't keep in control – you only realised they were for you when you caught a glimpse of your name on it, and you can only agree with the suspicious look on your friends’ faces when you show them the notes – bright Canary yellow and the striking red colour across the notes (although, you've only shown them the more milder ones. You can't imagine the panic you'll be forced to acknowledge if they see some of the other.. strange ones.)
And you suppose your paranoia has caught up to you. Your sleep-deprived mind swears that new red coloured bottle of ink on Alhaitham's desk wasn't there. You swear he never used that bright Canary Yellow colour of post-its. Did he really like that drink he always seemed to get for both of you? It conveniently ran out when you wanted it, and even more so, he conveniently just brought an extra since it was on discount? Of course it all just seems like a coincidence. You're a fool to even think otherwise.
And well, you're fine. Your life has always been a long series of fine, even with the occasional weird mishaps. That's how it's always been, and you don't intend to change it; rather, you really do find change almost repulsive (save for the panic you felt deep down in your stomach at all the things you couldn't control). And that “fine” comes to a halt when you find your door absolutely mauled with sticky notes. There's a bouquet of Sumeru Roses at the bottom, as if to try and apologise sheepishly for the terrifying collage on your door. The terrifying numbness in your fingers, face, your brows furrowed as you can't decide just how to react, the elevated heartbeat – you swear you can feel the blood threaten to burst through your chest.
You opted to stay with a friend that night. You don't know what you were expecting when you came back in the morning, and all of those notes were gone, except a singular one in the middle, “الهوس والحب مترادفان، لكنهما لا يقارنان بارتباط روحي بروحك” (which you had to reread almost 30 times with your broken arabic, checked with someone from the Haravatat Darshan, to really confirm – obsession and love are synonyms, but they are nothing compared to the connection of my soul to yours – is what it said, and it's echoed in your head for weeks). You can't remember the last time you wore your rose perfume after that.
Scouring in the House Of Daena didn't seem to alleviate your troubles that well, either. The books you read one day, and opted to continue the next – vanished. Someone else always had the upper hand. And when they returned, they were scribbled and annotated with many pockets of information. Sometimes they overshadow the information on the page itself. And on the rare occasion you put your head on the books as a makeshift pillow for a power nap, you jolted up from just a sniff. Sumeru roses hit your nose.
And of course, when you find notes with all different handwritings on your desk in the office, you think someone's playing a cruel prank on you. But your office was locked. No one saw anyone enter your office. You did your usual check up before you locked it last night, and assorted everything in place. None of these notes were here. And of course, your only clue is the fact they're all Canary Yellow post-its, and that striking scarlet red ink on it. Hasn't the bottle on Alhaitham's desk been running out? He mentioned it off-handedly. You remember saying blue ink was cheaper. He didn't respond.
–
overtime was disdainful, for the lack of a better word. However, that implies only to the masses – it is no problem for him to come up with better synonyms to describe the situation at hand. “Distasteful”, “loathsome”, “detestable”, and so on. However, complaining will not solve the stacks of files on his desk that he wishes to do away with as soon as possible.
If anything pleases him more than his usual combination of abstruse books, isolation from the general public, and extreme individuality, it is that as the Grand Sage's assistant – you are expected to stay back for the extended hours as much as he is, if not more. For once, working overtime (or being forced to) has brought him progress. Will a few more hours of scribbling away and reviewing files change anything huge? He will return to his post again tomorrow as he has today, and the work will continue. Although, this time, it is you who stays working overtime. So for once, if it manages to quiet down the poking and prodding of other nosy scholars, reprimanding him for never working even a minute after the allocated time, he does so for the exchange of working with you.
And he doesn't intend to burden you, but he knows the desperation you work with, trying your best to cram in any minute, second into trying to get ahold of those books at the House Of Daena. So, if at least to make you stay for longer, he assigns you the more dragged out, tedious work. And to make it better – you just got locked out of your office. He has an extra pair, which he diligently uses for his own interest. As for you; perhaps being so frantic and scrambling to gather all books you might have read the day before may have caused you to drop your keys somewhere along the way. Would he know? Of course – he's diligently collected and added it to his inventory. Would he tell you? It would be like stepping on his own tail. The lack of certainty in a schedule makes for more freedom – he thinks. It's for your own good; he almost says. And to have you work in the same proximity as him? It's a bonus.
Many consider him to be talented and extraordinarily intelligent, so just take his advice as literally as you can. Or maybe he just needs to tell you directly while making small talk between you two more frequent. To his dismay (and your absolute horror), the sticky notes seem to be working counterproductively. Perhaps he should just show up at your house with a bouquet of Sumeru roses and a small journal filled with his advice? He jests, it's only an entertaining idea. The bewildered look on your face makes him adore you – even if only imaginative.
The lift stops at the top floor. He sees your figure standing beside his desk, an expanse of books behind you. The sharp yellow lights contrast your figure to the dim blue light sphere in the middle. He feels the corners of his mouth perk up into a smile,and stops himself.
Another overtime shift for the both of you.
—
Overtime was not easy. You wouldn't have minded it – the job pays you well, and its quite comfortably tucked into the Akademiya, where no one bothers you, and you can easily access the House of Daena. However, the stress and paranoia has absolutely drained you.
You've visited the matra recently. Frantically scraping together whatever evidence you can, everytime your “admirer” decided to gift you something new, leaving almost no time in your schedule. Daily visits to the library turned into constant visits to the matra, detailing your issues. You would have opted to stay silent, brushing it off as someone who was.. weirdly shy. But shy people don't stalk you, shy people don't leave obsessive notes for you, shy people don't visit your house at unholy hours of the night. And who knows what else this stalker of yours has been up to recently?
Revenge bedtime procrastination turned into sleepless nights, flinching at every sound, hiding under the covers until there was no oxygen and your entire face was covered in sweat. Workload seemed to increase, from how often you kept messing up, many things clouding your mind. Alhaitham's prickly eyes took notice, and he suggested drinking another beverage aside from coffee in the morning, and offered to get you something else – which you generously refused and turned down. (the last thing you would want to be is in someone else's debt at this time. Even if it's just a drink, who knows what else it could add up to in the future?)
So, here you were; irritated, on edge and in the dimly lit office which was viciously devoid of any natural light. You wonder why someone would want such a stuffy office, with books probably growing mold inside. Sure, it's spacious, but it's utter lack of life in it repulses you. It has the comfort level of a hospital waiting room, and it's just enough to add onto the little things that bother you, on top of everything else.
If that wasn't any better – Alhaitham seemed particularly chatty this evening. Perhaps his parasitic roommate (whom he has lovingly mentioned, multiple times,) has been ignoring him as of late? Maybe a commission in the desert, or a commission that requires a huge amount of unnecessary labour? And the (Acting) Grand Scribe has mentioned several times how the blonde architect works himself almost half to death just to get a smile out of his customers. You painstakingly understand him in silence, and don't comment on it.
The rest of the night continues – the benignity of it isn't lost on you. Occasionally perking up from your own scribbling upon Alhaitham's call, searching for a specific book on the vast (dusty, if you may add) shelves, and commenting on a few meeting topics and research projects he grazes, assigning you a few. He doesn't miss the comical dragging of your feet as you walk back over to your desk, befuddled with more work. He wants to tease you, he wants you to ask him for help, for an extra bottle of ink, for an extra post it note, whatever way in which you ask for his help.
He theorises you don't remember much of your and his student days.
—
“shit, I forgot them.”
You searched the familiar pockets and zips of your bag, scrunched eyebrows in frustration.
“Seriously? I'm not lending you any of mine~”
Your friend laughed. You sigh.
“I let you hog all my lunch and this is what I get as a thank you?”
“Too bad. You don't like the blue coloured ones anyway.”
“I'm desperate for a sticky note. Does it look like I'm in a state to be picky?”
Your friend laughs again, and throws their little compact stack of post-its on your book.
“Fine. But you've already annotated so much, what are you gonna write about?”
“Hmm? Wouldn't you like to know?”
You playfully ignore them, as they chitter behind you; carefully sticking it into your textbook and scribbling down the information before you forget. You sigh and look up. You make eye contact.
Right. It's him.
The grey-haired Haravatat boy that rarely showed up. Everyone knew him for his quiet attitude, and his tendency to make your professor's blood boil due to his absence in every lecture. Your friends had a few inside jokes about him. You would dare say this is your first encounter, or really the only one, with him. A stoic look and a judgmental one at the same time, behind curiously multicoloured eyes.
Nearing the end of the semester – usually the smart ones would avoid the house of Daena, as it would overflow with study groups of caffeine-run seniors and freshman alike. Some of the other clever ones chose spots that weren't easy to find in the first place, and some chose to simply come early.
The thing is, you didn't come early. You were here from midnight. The librarian and all the security checks probably missed you, since you were neatly tucked away into the corner, taking a well-needed nap on one of your reference materials. You only woke up when one of your friends, and that boy poked and prodded you. Your friend laughed until they were out of breath when you looked up – drool slipping down past your chin, eyes swollen from the lack of sleep (and the incessant crying of an academic student), handwriting illegible from just how drowsy you were. The boy only stood quietly, probably judging your.. mannerisms. You weren't sure how, or why, he sat down at the same table as you and your friend.
—-
Every once in a while - Alhaitham does use the sticky notes.
He didn't buy them. He wanted to borrow them for a short second, but in your hurry, you gave him the compact stack and left, never looking back. After that, you never got them back. Neither of you had the time, and your fate simply intertwined for a brief moment. Things like these happen.
But you keep appearing in the crowd.
He sees you in a flurry of students, or alone at a desolate desk. On a high-up ladder reaching an impossibly reachable book, crouching down to pick up the several you dropped in the process. Passing by the dull lecture halls as he slipped into the library, following the reference materials his father recommended, picked out neatly from private journals and books. The yellow sticky notes never served him much purpose after a single use. He debated simply keeping them on your desk the next time he saw you, but never quite worked up the courage. He swore the sumeru rose scent gave him a headache.
So, when he heard you were continuing your studies at the Akademiya, he was pleased. Working as a Scribe was a simple job, and his chances of seeing you just increased. And he may have been too ambitious, but it worked greatly in his favour – as he opened up another Assistant role for you.
He hums, content with his decision to keep the sticky notes. Now - how would he utilise them? He wonders if you remember that friend's handwriting. Simple notes turned into obsessive confessions.
Once in a while turned into almost everyday, the more he observed you.
His obsession alone could become the subject of his own studies – but for now you are his sole interest.
And the next overtime, his first after returning to his post as the Scribe – he decides to finally close the chapter.
Has your perfume always been this sweet? That headache's been catching up to you. All that worrying and panic.. when was the last time you slept?
He opens the door to his office. You stand under the warm light, horrified. Piles of sticky notes crowd your feet. The wall barely peeks through behind you from the sticky notes. He closes the door, and a flurry of them fall from the movement. Both of you stare at each other.
“Alhaitham?”
You remember looking at the collection of sticky notes you'd received over a period of time. Is the red ink turning brown? You swore the color changed. Is it supposed to smell? You don't think you want to know.
“Congratulations. You've made it this far. Ive been waiting to talk to you in private."
Your arms go limp, dropping the stack of files onto the floor. The clock ticks silently. You should have gone home. Your bad habit of staying past closing time and evading the security seemed to have not worked in your favour this time.
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#al haitham x reader#alhaitham x reader#yandere alhaitham#alhaitham#al haitam x reader#al haithem#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#yandere genshin x reader#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin x you#yandere genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#yandere alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x y/n
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it's not living if it's not with you ── s. itoshi
synopsis: if it's meant to be, it will be
genre: ex2lovers, arranged/fake dating, celebrity!au, pro!au, fluff, angst with happy ending, sharing a bed, 2nd chances, ...
word count: 12.3k
warnings: reader and sae aged up 22+, implied sex towards the end, reader has a hint of social anxiety/claustrophobia, i think sae is a little ooc in some scenes, lmk if i missed some
notes: THERE YOU HAVE IT SAEISTS.. MY 1K SPECIAL!! THIS IS THE SUPER SECRET SAE FIC I'VE BEEN TEASING EVERYONE ABOUT FOR LIKE A WEEK NOW AND IT'S FINALLY IN FRUITION! <3 here's a lil sae brainrot to show my gratitude to you guys ^_^ fellow saeists who also consume an unhealthy(?) amount of sae content...... this fic is also dedicated to the loml my bae aeri @saerins for taking ur time of day to beta-read and to my angel baby sage @invsu as well <33 ilu guys
extras: i made a playlist for this bc i am insane like that and without further a do.. sit back, relax and enjoy! lmk what u guys think either in the tags or comments bc i rlly worked hard on this for like a week and i jus couldn't stop writing! talk abt a sae earworm... ++ if u guys find theres a lot of the 1975 references.. its bc i was listening to their songs as i made this lawl .. tmi!
001.
you didn’t really put into consideration how awkward it actually was to be working on a modeling gig with your ex boyfriend.
the pay was obviously really good that’s why you even agreed to book it in the first place, especially since it was for a famous luxury brand and their fragrance line
so imagine your horror when you walk into set and see your ex posing for the cameras.
you silently hoped that it was just his solo shoot and not with you because your manager did mention that you would be having a partner for this photoshoot
the photographer greets you with a hug and compliments your outfit for the shoot. a white, sultry open neckline dress. the theme of the shoot was it was set on the beach with a sunset background
he instructs you to lay on the makeshift sand and tells you to start posing for your solo shots.
after a couple of clicks, the photographer compliments you on your professionalism on set and then calls your ex boyfriend.
“sae! time for the couple shots i told you about” the photographer calls out to sae who was on his makeup chair. your eyes widened in realization that he was, in fact, your partner for today’s shoot
you tried to look at your manager for some help but it was no use. your manager was busy talking to other people on set. you can feel your heart beating faster by the minute as sae walks closer to you
he was wearing something similar to what you were wearing. dress pants and a white oversized unbuttoned polo. his exposed toned abdomen was probably the main highlight of his outfit with it glistening under the studio lights.
you bit your lip and looked away. sae has always been eye candy, there was no denying that. you were surprised yourself when you managed to bag him during his rookie days, but now that he was almost, if not an A list celebrity with his elite status in the world of football, you can almost say that itoshi sae was totally out of your league
you come back to your senses when the photographer claps his hands and muses how you and sae have insane chemistry that he has ever witnessed. you let out a little huff at the comment.
‘if only he knew’ you think to yourself, avoiding sae’s gaze as much as possible
the shoot starts and the photographer instructs sae to hover over you while holding the perfume bottle. sae nods and does what he’s told, he’s a professional after all. he wouldn’t let his personal feelings interfere with his work. that was the golden rule in the industry
you locked eyes with sae for the first time in years. he still had those fiery teal eyes that gets you weak in the knees each time. your eyes slowly dart from his eyes to his lips.
“keep doing that y/n!” the photographer cheers, clicking away on his camera. did you do something in your past life that you would inevitably end up in an awkward situation like this. a situation wherein you and your ex lover, in a position where you two are posing like an actual couple
your eyes flicker back from sae’s lips to his eyes again. for a second there you thought you felt a spark, a connection, an old flame that has been rekindled at that very moment.
til it all comes back to you in a flash
you forgot you hated him. you hate itoshi sae and you could’ve sworn itoshi sae hated you too.
the bitter taste is still in your mouth after all these years. how could you forget the man who broke your little heart in two?
it was childish really. looking back at it now, where you were merely just starting out as a rookie model and sae being the same, a rookie at his profession. just two kids having a similar situation in two whole different industries. it was hard not to get entangled.
you were always known to be sae's long time lover. you were always supportive of his games. present whenever you can, sitting at the exclusive VIP section of the stadiums, wearing his number on your back; and if you weren’t able to attend due to your own schedules, you would still manage to find the time to support him. may it be posting an instagram story that you were watching him on your phone while you were getting your makeup done or wearing his jersey on the day of the game
sae was the same. he would always be seen wearing the stuff from brands you’ve modeled for. from jewelries to exclusive clothing lines, sae would always be seen wearing them, his silent way of showing support in your own craft.
you were proud of him, and he was proud of you too.
but as all things are, good things come and go. even in the most unexpected times.
there were already rumors circulating that you and sae were ready to tie the knot, some news outlets even stating that maybe you two have gone ahead and tied the knot at some island during your secret little rendezvous. (having been caught going to santorini for more than multiple occasions)
the public has always been supportive of your relationship throughout the years. even earning the title as the nation’s sweethearts with how they’ve seen your relationship blossom from puppy love to what they call as “true love”
with the news that the nation’s sweethearts have parted ways, the public was as heartbroken as you.
sae suddenly called it quits after almost five years of dating. it was after he has been taken under the wing of real madrid’s division A where his career as a midfielder really took off. to make matters even worse, he broke it off at the same place he claimed you as his.
since then, you’ve sworn to hate him. you’ve resented him. you felt like all those years that you two have built was nothing. you couldn’t even believe him at first when he spat out the words “we’re over” like it was nothing.
five years, five years worth of unforgettable firsts. five fucking years to unlearn everything.
you were absolutely crushed back then. you even took a hiatus with everything going on in your life. you were a mess. you actually can’t believe sae had no remorse over this. were the five years you were together nothing for him? all those tears you two have shed, the firsts of everything, all those precious memories, were they all nothing?
it hasn’t even been a year or so but it seemed like sae already moved on, which added more salt to your already open wound. he was flourishing with his career while all of this was going on. sae has been photographed multiple times leaving clubs with lipstick stains all over his neck.
it stung of course. seeing him move on with his life as if he didn’t just ruin yours. that very night, you swore to yourself that you will never forgive itoshi sae for what he did.
never again would you open your heart to someone like itoshi sae.
itoshi sae, the man who broke your heart into two.
“earth to y/n?” the photographer snaps his fingers in front of you, breaking your little trance.
you apologize to the photographer, your cheeks heating up at the realization that you really got lost in your thoughts the moment you’ve met eyes with sae.
“as i was saying,” the photographer eyes you and sae, “the shoot is over. well done” he bows, motioning the people behind the scenes to clap for you and sae
almost immediately you stood up from your awkward position from sae. intentionally avoiding his hand that was held out for you to take. (you hate how he was still a gentleman to you, even after all these years)
you look around for your manager and strut towards him.
“we’re leaving. now” you say with no emotion in your voice, even walking farther ahead from your now confused manager.
he takes a look around on what could’ve made you pissed off but sees no one but itoshi sae in the flesh.
“but y/n, itoshi sae is here-” your manager gets cut off when there was a loud slam of a door nearby. he winces when he realizes it was you. he turns around and bows his head at the people on set.
“i apologize for y/n’s actions”
with that, your manager runs after you.
sae could only stare at your direction with mixed feelings. a part of him was relieved that he got to see you again after all these years, yet he doesn’t understand why he was feeling off to find out that you still resented him. i mean, that was what he expected for his own actions all those years ago.
with a click of a tongue, he goes back to his own manager so they can finally go home after a long day.
you don’t even know why you were crying. tears blurring your vision as you try to find the exit out of this damned building.
you harshly wipe your tears, opening the last door to your left. you were met with the harsh, cold air of japan. you weren’t looking where you were going, barely even noticing that someone was by the door til you bumped into them.
the steel floors were making it hard to walk in your heels. so when you bumped into the said stranger, you lost your balance.
the stranger had quick reflexes. they immediately caught you by your waist and your hands flew to their chest to keep yourself steady. you looked up at the stranger to apologize only to meet eyes again with the same teal eyes that belonged to no one other than sae fucking itoshi
you don’t know how long you two have been in this position until you see a bright flash in your peripheral vision.
you have just been papped by paparazzi with your ex boyfriend and sworn enemy, itoshi sae.
002.
the headlines in both social media, news outlets and the such were exactly how you expected it.
it was crazy.
the general public going wild, thinking that the once famed couple were now back together after how many years.
your phone was blowing up with emails upon emails. calls from friends and relatives to confirm the news themselves that you’ve been seeing sae again. you look at your manager beside you apologetically as he receives another phone call from what you think is another e-news outlet asking if the rumors circulating were true.
you have been summoned by your company for an emergency meeting as the whole situation was getting out of hand.
that was when you realize how big of a name itoshi sae was after all these years of blocking his name on twitter.
your PR team is currently a mess. they are currently working their asses off to put out a good story for your sudden reunion with the famed midfielder.
“how many times do i have to tell you to be careful being papped after a shoot?” the head of your PR team, pinches the bridge of their nose. clearly this wasn’t the first time around
“i was!” you defend yourself, “i didn’t even know it was him til i looked up..” you murmured
your manager facepalms at your response. how did you not know it was sae?
“so what i’m getting here..” the head puts their glasses on the table, “you didn’t “know” that it was the itoshi sae, your partner for this specific photoshoot, the famed midfielder of real madrid, itoshi sae?” they quote, looking at you like you just grew another head
you nod in content, “exactly” you grin, putting your thumbs up. in hopes it raises the mood. (it doesn’t, unfortunately)
“y/n, i hope you know this isn’t just something we can brush under the rug. this is not the same situation with yukimiya kenyu where you two were caught being cozy in his car”
“yuki was literally just driving me home! and we’re close friends!” you defend yourself, yet again.
“exactly! yukimiya is a close friend! while itoshi sae is not. that’s why this is such a big deal!”
you slump back to your seat. okay, maybe they were right. this was a lot harder to get around with especially since the public knows about your past relationship.
“luckily for you, we have talked things out with itoshi sae’s management,” it was your manager’s turn to talk. he stands up from the seat beside you and walks over to your PR team’s head. they exchange glances before nodding.
“we have come up with a way that this whole issue will be over soon” your manager starts.
as if on cue, the doors of the meeting room suddenly open. you take a look on who could be entering this sacred room this late. surely it couldn’t be more of your PR team as they were all already present in the room.
there stood with their hand still on the doorknob is no one other than sae, with his manager right behind him.
your jaw drops as you put two and two together.
you whipped your head towards your manager and the head of your PR team in both horror and disbelief.
no, it can’t be…
“you two will now be in an arranged relationship for the meanwhile. until your situation dies down” sae’s manager finishes, taking a seat next to sae, who took the seat next to you.
you could see your manager squeeze his eyes shut, knowing where this is going. you were about to have a fit right here right now.
“WHAT?!” you let out a loud scream. the whole floor probably heard you.
sae also winces at how ear-piercing your scream was.
you abruptly stood up from your seat, snatching your purse from the table and stomped out of the meeting room. not forgetting to slam the door shut on the way out.
immediately you called up your two closest friends, reo and yukimiya to meet you at your apartment ASAP.
003.
“so you’re telling me– us,” yukimiya pauses, looking between you, who has mascara running down your cheeks and reo, who was busy rubbing circles on your back as he hands you another tissue for you to blow your nose on, “that you are going to be in an arranged relationship with your ex, itoshi sae.. am i getting that right?” yukimiya confirms, waiting for your response
you nod before blowing your nose and throwing the now used tissue on the rising pile of tissues behind you.
“this is the worst day of my fucking life” you cried out, reaching out to reo to cry on his shoulders.
“oh, y/n” reo sighs, pulling you into his embrace as you cry your eyes out.
you pull away from reo’s embrace, “i mean, why him, why now?!” you rambled, words getting choked up.
both reo and yukimiya could only frown. after all, even with their power, money and status, there was nothing they could do to help with your situation.
your doorbell suddenly rings, catching all three of you in surprise. who could be at your door right now?
yukimiya took the initiative of opening the door, only to be met with the eyes of the itoshi sae. barely noticing your manager behind him.
sae raises his eyebrow at the man in front of him. who was he and why was he at your apartment?
“yukimiya-san! i didn’t know you were over..” your manager sheepishly greets yuki, trying to break the growing tension between him and sae.
“who’s out there, yuki?” you croak out, trying to take a peek at the door from reo’s shoulders.
“it’s me, y/n” you hear your manager call out. you look at reo in confusion. what was your manager doing here?
gradually, you slowly stood up from your kitchen island and walked over to your front door.
now, you just expected a scolding from your manager from your little fit back at the company, that’s why he was at your place or so you thought. what you didn’t expect that you’d see itoshi sae again but this time, in your own space.
“have you lost your fucking mind?” you shot a look at your manager, who only winces as a response.
“y/n- i can explain-“
“i made him take me here” sae speaks up for the first time. you felt your breath hitched. it’s been so long since you last talked to him, let alone heard him speak. (you’ve done everything you can and blocked every single thing related to sae. that meant interviews, news articles, you name it, you had his name and everything blocked and muted)
sae invites himself inside your apartment with your manager following suit as you stand there at your front door, stunned.
reo is equally as shocked as you are when he sees itoshi sae casually walk to your living room as if it was his. before reo could open his mouth to say something, you come running in, fuming.
“who the fuck told you you can come inside MY house” you spat. your attitude turning a whole 180.
sae only raises an eyebrow at you. “our team” he casually says. he then looks at your manager and cocks his head towards your direction. like he was trying to get your manager to tell you something.
“what now?!” this time it was your manager’s turn to get yelled at by you. he winces again before checking for something in his ipad.
“since you um.. walked out at our meeting earlier today… both managements has come to terms that you and itoshi sae would be living together for the meantime”
silence fills the room, the entire apartment if we were being honest
your vision goes dark, the next thing you know and you black out.
as you slowly regain your consciousness, you hear some people talking. well, to you it sounded like they were slurring because you couldn’t really comprehend what they were saying. slowly, you open your eyes. the first person you see is a frantic reo who seemed to be fanning your face with yukimiya holding your hand
“where am i?” you grunt, feeling some dull ache on the back of your head and lower back.
“you fainted” sae points out. staring at you who was on the ground. you sat up and stared at sae, wide eyed. “what the hell is he still doing here?!” you ask in distraught. you thought everything prior to this was all just a fever dream, or a nightmare as you’d like to call it
your manager, who was getting you a glass of water comes running to your aid. he crouches and tells you to drink up- to which you do.
“we were discussing your current situation with itoshi sae until you fainted… ” your manager starts, you choke on your water after hearing those words but thankfully didn’t start a coughing fit. you motioned your manager to continue so that you’d finally hear the end of this dreadful moment
your manager's eyes flicker between you and sae, “we’ve come up with an agreement that until the time being, itoshi sae would be living with you and you’d market yourselves as a couple. sae has already consented and agreed with the contract and your PR team as well…” he finishes, clutching his ipad close to his chest
reo, who was listening intently, felt like it was unfair for you to be in this type of situation regardless if it was an order from your company
“isn’t unfair for y/n though? she herself didn’t consent to this contract right? doesn’t this violate her own rights of code of ethics?” reo interferes, giving your manager a look. you look at reo and smiled. maybe you’ll ask him to contact the finest lawyers of japan that he knows after this
your manager was about to speak up but sae beat him to it.
“i was the one who suggested this whole setup, not their company. so technically, this isn’t “violating y/n’s rights of code of ethics” as it’s not even printed on a contract because simply, there is no contract” sae states, mocking reo’s tone of voice, giving him a side eye before turning his attention back to you.
this time it was yukimiya who steps in. he turns to sae with his eyebrows raised. “isn’t there another way to get around this? not just by your means?” yukimiya pauses, pushing his glasses up, “i mean, why does it have to be like this where you’ll live with y/n for an issue that could be squashed with just a single article denying your relationship or involvement with y/n?”
sae sits up straight, staring yukimiya down with an icy stare. “this doesn’t concern you”
yukimiya and reo both stand up, “actually it does. y/n is our friend” reo hisses, glaring at the red head who merely just yawns and rolls his eyes.
was sae even taking this seriously?
sae sighs, a bored expression on his face. “this is matters between me and y/n only”
finally having enough of his bullshit, you got up from the ground and walked in front of sae.
“what exactly are you planning, itoshi sae?” you narrow your eyes at him. this was the first time in years you’ve looked at him. you note how appearance wise, he hasn’t changed one bit.
sae chuckles a bit, catching you by surprise. what’s so funny?
“drop the formalities, y/n. you know me better than everyone else in this room” he scoffs, eyeing you from head to toe.
sae won’t lie. he thinks you were still beautiful the day he left you. to him, you were always the prettiest in the room and from the way his heart raced after seeing you for the first time again in years, he knows himself that thought stayed the same.
he watches your eyes soften for a second before it goes back to your signature glare.
“actually, I don't,” you say dryly, crossing your arms. “so, tell me. what exactly are you gonna get out of this?”
sae sighs. he doesn’t know himself either but he wasn’t just about to say that out loud. he doesn’t know what got into him all of a sudden. was it because he was curious about how you were doing? was he intrigued? did he somehow miss you all of a sudden because he saw you again?
a part of him always longed for you even after you two have gone your own separate ways. it was hard not to, considering you have spent a chunk of your lives together. not to mention, you two grew up with each other and built blossoming careers together hand in hand.
it was only until he finally got recruited for division a of real madrid where he thought it would be best if you guys would stop what you have in order to be the best version of himself— wrong.
he realized he fucked up that maybe that wasn’t the best option when he realized he needed you more than ever. you were his best support system. you were always there with him during the hardest times holding his hand but it was already too late. the damage had been done and it was irreversible.
the day he broke up with you, or the day he fucked up everything was also the last time he ever saw or heard from you ever again.
sae tried. he tried and tried and tried to reach out to you. he tried searching for your socials, your contact information, literally everything he can get his hands on. but even with his power and money in the world, it was still not enough to find you.
the only updates he had of you was the ads that were plastered all around social media and in the busy shopping districts of the cities he’s in. it was almost like a constant reminder of what he lost.
so shocked was an understatement when you were his partner for the commercial shoot his manager had booked him for some random luxury brand.
after all those years, he found you again.
to say the stars were on his side when you two got papped by the paparazzi is a bit selfish on sae’s end. as much as he fucking despises the paparazzi as they tend to ruin things for him, he’s quite glad that for once that they did something right.
they brought you back to him.
so sae couldn’t just let this opportunity of a lifetime slide. even if this so called “scandal” could easily just be cleared out with a simple denying of such rumor. but sae couldn’t just let this end like that.
he wants to fix everything he broke. sae wants another chance.
“this is pointless” you deadpan, after waiting for sae to speak. he was just sitting there, staring right back at you for god knows how long that you begin to become conscious.
sae looked like he just snapped out of his train of thought as he shook his head before clearing his throat.
“it’s a win-win situation for both of us” sae blurts, “you get more publicity out of this–”
yukimiya and reo both looked at him like he was crazy.
“excuse you— with or without you, y/n is already famous. hell, you don’t even know how many brands are waiting for her to reach back at them!”
“do you live under a rock or something? how do you not know y/n is one of the, if not the number one top model of the country?”
you were secretly thankful that you called both yukimiya and reo beforehand. not only you got an ego boost, but it gave sae a taste of your own reality that you are where you are now because he left you
a small smirk tugs on your lips when sae frowns. you watch him chew his bottom lip, a telltale sign that he was thinking of something to save his ass
“well, if you aren’t gonna get something out of this.. i have” you say, catching everyone’s attention, including your own manager.
your manager looks at you with his head tilted to the side. mouthing “what do you mean?”
“i’ll only agree to this if after this whole scandal is over, i don’t ever want to see you again” you propose to sae. it was only fair for it to end like this as one, he was the one who suggested this idea in the first place. two, you can never be too complacent with sae who apparently has no motive regarding this. this was sae we’re talking about, he’s bound to plot something and three, you can finally find the answers you’ve been yearning for after all these years. might as well use this as an opportunity to get your well deserved closure.
there was a glint of hope in sae’s eyes.
“deal”
you hear yukimiya and reo yell a bunch of lines like “seriously y/n?” but all you can focus on is sae who’s also looking right back at you.
your manager claps his hands in joy, immediately dialing your company about your decision. sae takes this time to call his own manager to probably tell him to bring his stuff in.
did you make the right decision? you’re not too sure. only time can tell.
004.
today was the first day of you officially “dating” sae again.
also the first day of living with sae, for the meantime
just a little after you’ve come to an agreement with sae with the set up of your rekindled “relationship”, both managements didn’t waste a single second on confirming the news that the nation’s sweethearts have gone back together
needless to say, both of your names are trending and is the current talk of the town
so your first agenda (from both PR teams) is that you both post strikingly similar instagram stories as if you were together the night prior. (in which, you two were.. force binded by a non-existent contract)
it was a good thing that you chose an apartment that had a spare guest room because god forbid you’d even dare to sleep in the same bed with your ex.
you didn’t give sae a warning that you were already gonna post something. just a quick snap of your window, that holds the view of shibuya, with a little sunlight peeking through. you captioned it with a little “good morning indeed” with a cheeky emoji just to spice things up.
sae, who was in the next room, was casually scrolling through instagram when he sees that you posted a new instagram story. he clicks his tongue in annoyance at the fact you didn’t even give him a heads up. quickly improvising, he took a mirror selfie from the vanity mirror that you have around in your guest bedroom.
you started your day with making your own breakfast. not even bothering to call sae. hell, he can starve for all you care. after all, he was not your responsibility. you only agreed to do this because frankly you had no other choice from your company.
while waiting for your eggs, it didn’t take you a while to also notice that sae already posted his part of the agenda. thinking of it as nothing, you innocently clicked on his profile. his story loads and wow. resonating with your caption, good morning indeed!
sae posted a shirtless mirror selfie. he was still under the covers but made sure his torso was seen on the mirror.
“take a screenshot, it’d last longer” sae says flatly, moving past you to your fridge. you jolt in surprise, almost dropping your phone in the process. “what the fuck!” you yell out, a hand over your chest.
you hear sae chuckling behind you and the fridge opening
“you got all that money stocked up somewhere and yet you don’t even have groceries?” sae comments, noting your almost empty fridge. there were only some milk boxes and some of those edible collagen jellies that help you with swelling when you have early morning shoots and the such.
sae takes the last chocolate milk box you had that was hidden away at the back of your fridge
“well, my manager does it for me and i usually eat at reo’s or yukimiya’s– is that the last of my milk?!” you pried your eyes off your phone to see sae casually sipping on the last milk box you were saving
“so?”
“that’s mine” you argued, getting up from the kitchen island to snatch it from sae. you stomp over to him and tried to swipe it off his hands. unfortunately for you, sae is an athlete and that meant he had reflexes like no other. he raises his arm high just before you were able to grab the milk box from him.
“sae, give it back” you grit your teeth, standing on your tippy toes, trying or attempting to take the milk box from sae’s hold but the height difference is just something else.
sae leans down and gets all over your face. “come on, you can do it,” he teases, eyes fixated on yours.
this feeling almost felt too familiar. almost like a wave of nostalgia just hit you in the face. the memories you’ve been trying to suppress all coming back
you snapped out of your little trance when you realized the position you two were in.
“my eggs are burning” you lie, leaving sae dumbfounded. you scurry off to your stove to finish what you were cooking while sae goes and sits on your kitchen island.
he watches you plate your breakfast and sit on the other end of the kitchen island. you actually felt him staring but chose to ignore him. the sound of his stomach grumbling breaks the awkward silence.
“where’s my breakfast?” he asks, voice small
you shrug, “i don’t know”
“you didn’t make me one?”
“why will i?” you raise a brow, happily munching on your bacon while sae could only look at you in disbelief.
later that day you two had your own schedules. he had practice and other stuff to do while you had another meeting about different commercial offers and a lunch date with reo and yukimiya just like you promised the two.
you got home later than sae. you were about to grab some water from the fridge when you notice that it was fully stocked with groceries. you can’t help but smile a little at the gesture.
you did your usual night routine before getting comfy in bed. just before you were about to hit the hay, you don’t forget to send sae a quick message, thanking him for the groceries.
[11:43] you: thanks for doing the groceries ig
[11:44] sae: i couldn’t just let myself starve here, can i?
you rolled your eyes at his reply. he’s still so sarcastic even after all these years
[11:45] you: whatever 🙄
[11:46] sae: i also restocked that milk you love so much. call it truce from earlier today
[11:46] you: who told you it was my favorite? 🤨
[11:47] sae: gut feeling, call it old habit
you raised a brow at his text. what did he mean by that? before you could type your reply, your phone notifies you that sae sent another message
[11:49] sae: jk. your manager told me
you didn’t realize you were holding in your breath. you let out a sigh of relief after reading his message. you were not gonna let him get under your skin. not anymore
you ended up not replying to him. instead, you shut your phone off to reflect on today’s events, hoping that this all ends soon. your phone suddenly dings again. it was a notification from sae.
[11:55] sae: i’m going to sleep now. goodnight, y/n
it’s officially been a week of living with sae and pretending to be a couple in front of the cameras and the public. to think you’d even last this long is an understandment on it’s own.
for this day, both managements wanted you two to be seen out and about in public doing whatever you two wished to do.
you were debating on what you two should do that won’t involve much physical contact like going out for shopping because that only meant that you two would be forced to hold hands which is something you don’t want to do for obvious reasons. you’d rather die than to be papped with sae holding hands
“what do you want to do today?” sae asks from the couch. you two were already all dressed up. intentionally matching your outits just for the sake of it. sae was wearing a maroon turtleneck with holes in them with a white long sleeve shirt underneath and some track pants? you don't question his outfit much further because why would you exert the effort to do so?
you were wearing something similar. a maroon crop top with some leggings to match the laid back outfit of your fake boyfriend.
“what can we do without much physical contact?” you pondered, a finger tapping on your chin. sae scoffs at your question, mumbling about what’s wrong with physical contact with him. you almost wanted to tell him “everything” but that would just start another argument today
“how about we get some coffee?” sae offers, unable to think of more activities to do in such short notice. you hum in agreement, coffee does sound good right now. you get up from the couch and grab the keys to your car
“what are you doing?” sae asked. you stop in your tracks and hold out your keys for him to see. “we’re taking my car” sae says, showing off his.
not putting up much of a fight, you agreed. it was getting tiring driving yourself around anyway.
you two arrive at the coffee shop sae graciously let you choose in no time (by graciously, he meant that he’s good with anything you choose) you then decide on sitting by the window where you know the paparazzi will be in front at in no time to capture this date between rekindled lovers
you sit at your chosen table by the window while you wait for sae to order something for the both of you. telling him that you’re okay with whatever since this cafe was your favorite.
it didn’t take sae that long to come back with your orders. he sets the tray down and you find an abundance of sweets and pastries. you look up at him confused but he simply shrugs. he then places your drink down. you take the receipt that was hanging off the tray to read everything he has ordered.
looks like he ordered everything on the menu with the sweets and pastries, which is not surprising really. when you read what he got you however,
“you ordered me a spanish latte?” you ask, taking the drink from the table.
sae nods, taking a sip from his own drink. “something wrong?”
you shake your head no. you just can’t wrap your head at the fact he ordered your usual go-to drink.
“nothing, it’s just i'm surprised that you still remember what i usually order in coffee shops” you shrug, finally sipping on your drink. spanish lattes does always hit the spot for you
“do you think i have forgotten?” sae raises a brow, a slight frown forming on his lips. you rolled your eyes at his comment.
“well, it’s been a while, don’t you think?” you retort, avoiding his hard stare. technically, it’s been almost two years since the breakup. one of you were bound to forget each other’s habits and the such.
there was silence again after that. an awkward one at that
“let’s take our post now so we can leave” you say, taking pictures of the food in front of you while keeping sae in the frame. sae simply nods and does the same. the photo you decided to post was mostly all the food sae ordered with him in the background. you purposely cut off his head just for the thrill of it. you do tag sae in the instagram story though with the caption “coffee run”
sae’s post was a bit different. he simply posted a candid shot of you taking pictures of the food in front of you. for captions, sae isn’t much of a caption person because he thinks they defeat the purpose of photos so instead he just adds a heart emoji with your username next to it.
it didn’t take much for the paparazzi to find your whereabouts. just like planned, they were outside the window you two were seated in taking photos after photos.
“do we go now?” sae asks, eyeing the amount of people that were outside the cafe.
“yeah..” you trail off, not really expecting a whole crowd to form outside. sae must've sensed that you were tensed with the way he stands next to you when you two were leaving the coffee shop
the moment you two step foot outside, it was an absolute frenzy. the press were everywhere on your faces. asking questions from all sorts of directions that it actually made you dizzy.
you were never one for crowded crowds. especially when they topple over each other just to take the perfect photo or get an exclusive. it was just never your cup of tea
you covered your eyes from the bright flashes that were all over your face, trying to maneuver around the paparazzi to get to sae’s car faster but the paparazzi was too much for you to handle. you instinctively leaned on sae for support as your legs start to feel wobbly. sae immediately catches on and wraps an arm around your waist securely, pushing forward against the hoarde of people in front of you guys
“get out of the fucking way!” sae barks, pushing the people in front of your faces. the group of paparazzi do make way for you guys as you finally reach sae’s car.
sae unlocks the car and opens the passenger door for you to enter first. he shields any possible camera that was trying to capture your face with his body. even going as far as pushing them away making some of the paparazzi stumble and fall on their asses.
once you were secured in your seat, he runs over to his side of the car and starts the car before speeding off. not wasting a single second for some short interview.
“you okay?” sae steals a glance at your slumped state, before turning his attention back to the road in front of him.
“... yeah, just dizzy” you say meekly, rubbing your temples. “i’m gonna rest my eyes for a bit, sae” you murmur, leaning against the window before drifting off to sleep.
sae sighs and speeds up faster so you two could get home sooner. ‘damn paparazzi’ he thinks to himself, not noticing how his knuckles have turned white with how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.
the car comes to a halt when the traffic lights beam red. sae couldn’t help but look at your state. he always knew you were bad with crowds but yet you still fulfilled your lifelong dream to be a model. he wonders who took care of you during flash mobs when you were out in the streets.
was it your manager? was it that reo guy? or was it yukimiya aka that person he doesn’t really like. sae hates how close you are with him. sae will also never forget your scandal with him. he can still remember it like it was yesterday when the news dropped that you may or may not be in a relationship with your fellow model yukimiya kenyu after being papped being cozy inside his car.
practice was hell that day for real madrid and sae may or may not have punctured a soccer ball out of pure rage.
the damned light finally turns green and thankfully you were at the last street before the turn to your apartment complex.
sae parks the car and turns to take a good look at your sleeping figure. you look too peaceful to wake up. so he gets out of the car and goes to your side to pick you up bridal style.
he gently puts one of your arms around his neck (for safe measure) and loops his under your knees to carry you. with the help of the security guards around, he presses the elevator up to your penthouse suite.
for once in his life, sae is thankful that he was an athlete as he successfully tapped in your passcode to unlock your front door with you in his arms. when he reaches your bedroom, he gently sets you down on your bed.
sae was about to leave to make some dinner just before you wake up but was stopped by your hand reaching for his.
“stay..” you mumbled, tugging his arm. sae hesitates for a bit, unsure if you were actually conscious or was just sleep talking. sae watches your eyebrows furrow when you notice he still wasn’t beside you. clicking your tongue in annoyance, you tug on sae’s arm harder so he gets the hint
“okay, okay” sae hums, slowly getting in your bed. he’s unsure himself on what he should do. should he stay still, wrap an arm around you, what?
to his surprise, you were snuggling next to him. your head nestling to his chest. sae lets out a small gasp. he definitely didn’t see this coming.
coming to a realization that no harm would be done if he wraps an arm around you, he slowly drapes his arm over your waist. sae suddenly feels like he was on top of the world, like everything suddenly made sense to sae.
sae caresses your cheek, brushing the stray hairs from your face.
“you still look beautiful the day i lost you..” sae whispers. he debates on stealing a kiss. he weighs out the pros and the cons and figures that it was more of a liability if you ever find out he stole a kiss from you, especially when you were asleep. that’s gonna have to be for another time.
sae was beginning to feel sleepy. he carefully drapes the duvet across your bodies. not even a moment later, sae is now fast asleep with you in his arms
you find yourself plush against something hard and warm. you try tossing to the other side but you were being held securely around your waist. your eyes shot up, now fully awake and aware of your surroundings.
“good morning” sae rasps, his morning voice sending shivers down your spine.
“what are you doing in my bed?” you whisper-yelled, actually genuinely surprised to see him next to you. your heart was racing, like it was about to jump out of your chest. did something happened yesterday? you couldn’t quite remember everything after leaving the coffee shop. it almost felt like a hazy dream
sae reluctantly unwraps his arm around you and scoots to the edge of the bed. you almost pout at the warmth that disappears but you internally scold yourself for thinking of such things.
“you passed out in the car and i brought you here” sae explains, now sitting up. “i’ll go make breakfast. stay put” he pats your leg before excusing himself to leave your bedroom. you lay there confused because that wasn’t enough to explain why he was quite literally sleeping next to you.
just the mere fact that you slept next to him sent you into a frenzy. you grab your phone and immediately dialed reo
“hello?” reo answers groggily, you checked your phone for the time and it was literally 8 in the morning.
“reo!” you hushed, trying not to catch the attention of sae “something happened yesterday!”
“what?”
“we slept together…?” your voice going up an octave, chewing on your lip as you await for reo’s reaction
a beat of silence passes by. you thought reo may have accidentally ended the call
“YOU DID WHAT?!” reo basically screams at your ear. you had to remove your phone from your ear from the impact of reo’s shrill scream. “DON’T TELL ME YOU GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM IN JUST A WEEK’S NOTICE—”
“NOT IN THAT WAY, DIPSHIT” you say abruptly, cutting reo off. “i mean like.. we just slept in the same bed after yesterday’s turn of events…” you trail off, trying to remember every significant detail that eventually lead up to you and sae ultimately sleeping with each other.
“my guess is with the paparazzi. i just saw the photos” reo says, typing away on his keyboard. “not gonna lie y/n, you and sae do make a good couple” he adds, giggling
you huff over the phone, earning a hefty laugh from the other end.
“talk to him. clearly you need it” reo advices. it was like he knows where this was going. “ i gotta go for now, y/n. i’ll call you back later. duty calls. ciao!” reo ends the call before you could even say something.
you threw your phone on the other side of the bed, groaning as you put your head in your hands. what was happening to you
there was a faint knock on your door, probably sae was gonna tell you that breakfast was ready but to your surprise, he brought the breakfast to you.. in bed.
sae walks in with a little bed tray that you didn’t even know you owned filled with some breakfast.
“was all this necessary?” you say in disbelief. sae simply shrugs and sits by the foot of your bed.
“i contacted your manager about your state and he says he’ll be coming over to check up on you later” he notes, typing away on his phone with one hand. sae turns to you and motions for you to start digging in. “c’mon, eat up”
you feel your face heat up at his extravagant gestures. he was a man of service after all. even during your relationship, sae wasn’t the type to be vocal about his love for you. it was mostly through actions may it be subtle or not. you can feel the love with the way he does everything for you.
with a small smile, you start to eat the breakfast he made.
“sae,” you call. he looks up from his phone, a confused look on his face.
“need something?”
“come here” you motioned for him to scoot closer to you. to which he happily obliges. he is now sitting right in front of you.
he watches you cut a piece of your pancake and stabbed it with your fork before holding it up for him.
“here,” you say sheepishly, not even looking at sae in the eye. sae looked at you like you just lost your mind.
“can’t let you not eat your own cooking..” you mumbled, feeling your face burn in both embarrassment or something you can’t pinpoint. with a chuckle, he takes the fork from you. unintentionally brushing your hands together.
in an instant, you snatch your hand back as he quietly eats the pancake you’ve given him.
things are changing between you and sae and you’re not sure if you like it.
005.
it’s been a few days since the whole ordeal with you and sae in bed together. your management gave you guys a few days off just to keep things at bay with the paparazzi after the whole fiasco of you almost fainting because of the sea of paparazzi outside trying to take photos.
your manager did end up checking up on you that day just like sae has mentioned. you told him off that you were fine and just needed more resting before you can resume with your work. he reluctantly agrees and goes ahead and reports your status with your company.
reo and yukimiya also came over for the past few days. just to check things up with you after your pictures were published for the public. you had a talk with your two closest friends about your current situation with sae.
yukimiya was a bit unsure for you while reo advised that they’ll be there with you for every decision you make. he also opted that you two should have an open forum about each other’s whereabouts since the break up. clearly you still had unanswered questions.
sae was out again for his daily practice. although he did tell you that he’d be back around the afternoon.
you take this opportunity of being alone to actually think about everything for the past week.
this few weeks has been a whole rollercoaster. not only you’ve been reunited with your ex, you had to be in a “fake” relationship with him again for the media, and now it’s like you and sae were back to your old routines all those years ago.
a part of you does miss being able to call sae as yours, not just for the sake of the cameras but just because you really do love him and you want to be with him, but this time for real. yet, another part of you is scared that maybe there’s a catch to this. maybe in the end sae was just using you for his own sake.
you made a promise to yourself that you were not gonna have him play with your heart like that anymore. not again, never again.
but here you are, willing to take the same risk again. the things you are willing to do just to call him yours.
because at the end of the day, it will always be itoshi sae.
no one else has your heart the way sae has it.
you barely notice that sae has arrived back from practice til he was waving a hand in front of your face.
“y/n” he jabs a finger at the side of your head, an amused look on his face. “what are you thinking about?” sae hums, plopping down on the couch next to you.
“nothing much, just about life”you hissed, clutching the spot he just poked you. you leaned back on the couch, stealing a glance at sae but you made eye contact instead. immediately you looked away, feeling your cheeks heat up.
sae snickers next to you, a small smile on his face as he takes a good look at you.
“having a midlife crisis at your young age?” sae pokes your sides making you jump. you let out a little yelp, causing sae to smirk.
“don’t even think about it sae itoshi— AH!” you hold your hands out in defense mode. you know that devilish look on sae’s face. sae’s fingers reach your sides before you could even finish your menacing (not) threat.
your laughter fills the living room.
oh how sae missed this. how he missed coming home from practice and to have you wait for him. how sae missed you.
sae stops tickling you to let you catch your breath. barely even noticing the position you two were in. he was on top of you, hands on each side of your head. your cheeks painted red, chest rising rapidly as you try to control your breathing.
“can i kiss–”
the front door slams open to reveal reo and yukimiya in tow with some food.
“y/n! we brought you some food!” reo happily chirps, setting the food down on your kitchen counter. sae’s eyes immediately widen and rushes to get off of you. he stumbles and falls on the floor, just right in front of reo’s feet.
reo and sae make eye contact. reo awkwardly smiles at the now embarrassed sae.
but sae being sae, he brushed it off like he was in the middle of push ups.
“... and 50. 50 push ups done” sae puffs, pushing himself off the ground, pretending to wipe the non existent sweat on his forehead and ushers away to his room. not missing reo’s comment before he slams the door shut.
“i’m gonna just pretend i didn’t see you fall right in front of me” reo cackles, wiping a tear from his eye. “anyway y/n, we got you some food. i forgot that athlete was living with you sooo.. it’s up to you to give his share” reo shows you the amount of food he just got you.
yukimiya giggles behind him. he pulls reo to the side before giving you his infamous smirk
“reo, we gotta go now” yukimiya smiles slyly at you. he takes a good look at your ruffled shirt, flushed cheeks and messy hair.
“what? we just got here!” reo complains, looking back at yukimiya, who points out your current state. he then whispers something to reo that you obviously can’t hear. you stand there with your arms crossed, eyebrows raised as you wait for your two best friends to fill you in
“i’m literally right here” you rolled your eyes.
“oh!” reo gasps, eyes wide as he seems to put two and two together. he covers his mouth like he just witnessed something scandalous.
you were about to open your mouth to say protest against what allegations yukimiya has of you but both reo and yukimiya bolt out the door. yelling about how they were sorry for disturbing something while cackling.
“those bitches..” you muttered, shaking your head. you walk over to the kitchen to go through what reo just got you. of course it was his favorite steak with some side dishes.
“are they gone?” you hear sae call out from his room, his head poking out the door.
you laugh, “yeah. you can come out now”
you hear the door open and sae comes walking in the kitchen with nothing but sweatpants. you let out a squeak as your hands fly to your eyes, covering them from seeing sae’s half naked body.
sae scoffs at your reaction. “you’re acting like you aren’t used to it”
“was used to it” you correct him. sae’s mood drops a bit. you awkwardly fiddle with the hem of the plastic. taking out the plastic containers to at least lift up the now sour atmosphere.
sae looks at the meals you’ve settled down on the counter. “from reo?” he asks, going ahead and taking out some chopsticks.
he must be starving from coming home after practice.
you slid the plastic container that held reo’s favorite steak to sae. his eye widens and shakes his head. he pushes it back to you. it becomes a silent tug of war. sae ended up losing because you were starting to get upset and he can tell by the way your lips are jutted out and you were pushing harder, causing some of the sauce to spill out.
“okay, damn..” sae mutters, accepting his defeat. you let out a victory cheer by dancing a little in your seat. sae couldn’t help but smile. now here you were, watching him chomp down the food reo initially got for you.
“let’s head out somewhere” sae says, poking you with his chopsticks. you swat his hands away as you scowl at him. going out all of a sudden after he just ate?
“where are we going?”
“places”
you look up at him unsure. you didn’t really want to go anywhere this week knowing that paparazzi might be up on your asses again. you weren’t gonna risk your health again for just some dumb post
“but we’re on break with posting though” you protest. was sae really serious about heading out?
sae pouts and looks at you with pleading eyes. something he only pulls when he really wants to do something or get his way. something you couldn’t resist. you guessed old habits really die hard
“please?”
you avert your gaze elsewhere because those teal eyes are only trouble for you. you hear sae sigh beside you and you realized that was your last straw.
“fine”
you look back at sae who had a small smile on his face. his face screaming “i know you still can’t resist me” and quite frankly you wanted to punch the living daylights out of his smug face.
“i’m not gonna get dressed up or anything though. just a hoodie and a hat to keep our identities hidden” you say, getting up from the barstool to head over to your room to get an oversized hoodie and your hat.
“wasn’t counting on it” sae says, humming to himself that he got you to agree.
it didn’t take long for you guys to get moving. you two were now on your way to wherever sae was taking you. even if you kept asking where you two were going, sae simply shushes you and tells you to just sit back and relax
you were leaning towards the window, watching the city skies fade as you two drive aimlessly around the city. your phone connected to his aux, softly playing some tunes in the background.
your eyes peer over to sae who had one hand on the steering wheel, while the other was used to prop himself up against the window. you find yourself smiling at the memories going back to you.
the old late night drives with sae just to clear your minds.
the route sae was taking you felt awfully familiar. you sit up straight and looked outside to see that you were going up a familiar hill. you snap your head towards sae. sae catches your stare and winks at your direction.
the car eventually comes to a stop. sae silently turns off the car and gets out with you following behind him. there you realize where he took you. sae took you back to your favorite spot to get away from it all. the hilltop where you can get a whole view of the ever so busy city of shibuya.
the same place sae asked you to be his,
the same place sae broke things off with you,
“what are we doing here, sae?” you ask, sitting on top of the hood of his car. sae follows suit. he sits next to you, observing the view in front of him.
“to unwind” he says flatly, putting his hood on. you can’t help but look at him. what did he mean by that?
“you looked pretty occupied today, so i just thought i’d bring you here-”
you furrowed your brows, “then why here?”
sae stays silent. the sound of the city filling your ears. you can’t help but think that it was now or never. it was the perfect time to get things across. for your own peace of mind, and for the sake of it all.
it was silent between you and sae all of a sudden. you almost wanted to laugh at how ironic it is that you’d end up in this place again for the third time in a row with the same person.
‘how nostalgic’ you think to yourself. you get up from the hood of the car and walked towards the wooden fence. just to get a clearer view and to get some air that you so desperately needed before talking to sae.
“you know, this reminds me of the time you took me up here for the first time,” you start, kicking the rocks just by your feet. sae’s ears perk up at the sudden mention of the memory.
“i was so happy that day. to think we’d last for over five years. i was the happiest when i was with you, sae” you continued, smiling to yourself as you recalled everything.
sae can’t help but feel there’s more to what you’re saying. he can’t help but anticipate the bomb that you were about to drop.
“til one day, you brought me out here again. this time, to break up” you turn around to face sae who had an expression you can’t comprehend. his hands were stuffed inside the pockets of his hoodie
“you broke me that day, sae” you breathe out, looking up at the moon. “and to think not even two weeks later i see you with someone else” you let out a laugh. to sae it sounded forced.
“i hate you, sae itoshi” you finally look at him again, sae averts from your hard gaze.
“i hate how you took all my firsts, i hate how you talk to me with that voice, i hate how i know your morning routine better than anyone else, i hate how you always opt to cook because you know i suck at cooking, i hate how you know me like the back of your hand..” you list off, with every list you say, you take a step forward.
“i hate how even after all these years, even after you hurt me, even how you broke me to pieces, i hate how i can’t ever find myself to hate you” you finish. a teardrop running down your cheeks.
“i hate how i still love you..” your voice was shaky. your hands were trembling, here you were, confessing your heart to the guy who initially broke it.
you broke your promise to yourself.
with a deep sigh, you fixed your composure. you harshly wipe the tears that were running down your cheeks before turning your back on sae again to face the city you live in.
“i just have a question for you, sae…” you take a deep breath. finally. you were gonna get the answers to your questions. those times you’ve doubted yourself, those sleepless nights wondering where it all went wrong, nights where you ask yourself if you were ever enough for sae..
you were finally gonna get your well deserved answers.
“why? what did i do wrong? was i not enough for you?”
sae silently moves towards you. he pulls your head to his chest where you freely the tears fall.
you push him off of you, you were not gonna let yourself be fooled much longer.
“was it worth it, sae? was throwing away our years together worth it?” you seethed, tears pricking your eyes.
sae’s eyes widened, “i–”
“you know sae, even if i was in a room with all the people i love the most. i’d still choose you and you all over again. i will always choose you, sae” you cut him off, trembling. words shaking as you are basically spilling your heart to the guy who broke it into a million pieces.
sae’s heart breaks at the scene before him. it was too late for him to realize the damage he has done to you. for you to act like this.
“that’s why i agreed to be in this fake relationship with you. i wanted to find out why you did this to me, to us” you admit, tears now fully flowing. “i just..” you weren’t able to finish what you were trying to sae as you sob in front of sae.
“why sae?.. just, why?”
you barely notice sae approaching. the next thing you knew, he pulls your head to his chest.
“shh… let it out” he says, his free arm rubbing your back as you cry your heart out. finally, after all those years, it felt good to release everything. like a million bricks has been lifted off your shoulders.
sae pulls away, cupping your cheeks as he wipes the tears pouring down your cheeks with his thumb. his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips.
“don’t look at me like that, sae..” you say in a low voice, almost like a whisper. peering away from sae’s eyes.
sae slowly leans in and before he knows it his lips are just ghosting over yours. without a second, sae smashes your lips together.
your eyes widened. you wanted to push him away. you put your hands on his chest ready to push him away, but something in you is stopping you from doing so.
how you missed this. how you missed sae
how sae missed this. how sae missed you
you pull apart, catching your breath. you look up at sae to see him crying too. he cups your cheeks, caressing them with his thumb.
“i’m sorry” was all he could say. he puts his forehead against yours, teal eyes fixated on yours. you can tell with his eyes that he was sincere. sae was also shaking as he holds you, his whole body language screaming guilt.
“i was young and stupid. i thought i’d be better off without you but i realized that i wasn’t. it was too late by then.” he explains, looking down at your feet instead of meeting your eyes.
you put your hand over his, squeezing them. relishing in the moment of two ex lovers putting the past behind them.
“i tried reaching out for you, you know?” sae brings up, laughing to himself at how stupid he sounded. “but knowing you, i knew you’d probably act like you never existed. i had to find out the hard way” he scoffs at the end.
“eventually, the stars brought me to you again” sae finally looks at you in the eye. “i took that as a chance to try and redeem myself. i think it failed though,” sae admits sheepishly, “i was persistent. i wanted you back and i did everything i can just to keep you with me”
you listen to sae stumble with his words. he’s trying. he’s actually proving that he was genuinely sorry for everything.
“i never stopped loving you, y/n” sae admits with a sad smile, “i never did”
you tear up again at his confession. because frankly, you were the same.
sae opens his mouth to say something but instead, you crash your lips against his. sae doesn’t move for a second but relaxes as soon as he realizes what was going on. he instantly wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close as he can.
“i love you,”
“i love you too,”
you two find yourselves basking under the moonlight once again. fixing and treating each other’s wounds as you two try again. this time you two are sure that whatever you two have planned for each other, you two will make it right.
006.
the sound of an alarm blaring through the room wakes you up from your sleep. you feel some shuffling behind you and suddenly the room turns quiet again.
“did i wake you?” you hear sae’s morning voice ring through your ears, sending a shiver down your spine. you let out a small whine, nodding your head yes.
sae chuckles, and tightens his hold around your body under the covers. “good morning to you too, baby” he kisses your cheek.
you open one eye before twisting your body around to face him.
“morning..” you yawn, leaving a trail of kisses from his jaw to his adam’s apple.
“still didn’t get enough from last night, hm?” sae teases, rubbing circles on your hips. you feel your cheeks heat up. you slapped his chest before turning your back on him again.
“our managers will kill us if we’re late” you remind him of your schedules for the day. you sit up, slipping on his shirt that was lying on the floor, recalling last night’s events. you looked at yourself from the mirror to see some love bites all over your neck up to your chest. a gentle reminder that you were now his again.
“they can wait,” sae murmurs, slipping his hands under your (his) shirt. you let out a giggle before pushing his hands off of you.
“sae come on!” you tug on his arm as you two head out to your bathroom.
after what seems like an hour or so due to sae’s rowdy hands. you two finally arrive at the red carpet of the luxury brand you two have modeled for.
the screams of fans fills your ears as you wait in of the car and onto the red carpet where a line of reporters were waiting.
sae, being the gentleman he is and a marketing genius, he obviously makes a scene for your entrances. he gets out of the car first and holds out his hand for you to take. the audience goes crazy as you two make your entrance.
“sae, y/n! over here!” you hear a bunch of reporters yell out. lights, and flashes all around.
you and sae stop at the first reporter on the line. he greets you guys with a smile before starting his short interview. it was the usual questions about the brand and you guys feel about being the new faces of it.
“well, clearly they have a good eye for casting both y/n and i as the new faces for their brand” sae answers for the both of you, his arm wrapped securely around your waist.
the interviewer gushes at how cool his answer was and proceeds to ask you another question.
“my, my, my, miss y/n. you look lovely as usual but i can’t help but wonder, what does it feel like to be back together with sae itoshi?” he asks, intrigued, his microphone on your face.
you look at sae for approval and he simply smiles and motions for you to say whatever you want to say.
“well, it still shocks me til this day that i got back together with sae” you joked, making the interviewer laugh at your response and sae who fakes being offended. you laugh at his reaction before answering seriously,
“but seriously. i guess it’s true that if it’s meant to be, it will be” you smile, showing off sae in front of the camera to which the interviewer loves.
“what an answer from, y/n! well you heard it here first folks!” the interviewer beams in front of the camera, “i wish you two never ending happiness. thank you for letting me interview you guys!” he waves off, finding another celebrity to interview.
you and sae both smile and wave him goodbye as you two continue along the red carpet.
“do you really mean that?” you hear sae ask beside you. he was busy waving for the cameras. you let out a little giggle before waving around for the paparazzi and cameras around.
“mean what?”
“what you said about if it’s meant to be, it will be” he quotes you, tucking a stray hair behind your ear sending the audience and the paparazzi in a frenzy again.
“it happened to us, didn’t it?” you smile, motioning to your current situation.
sae was yours again, and you are his.
just how it should be.
bonus!
you didn't consider how awkward it actually was to be working on another modeling gig with your boyfriend.
especially when the poses instructed by the photographer and way too intimate to be imitated in a semi-public setting for your liking.
“what are you being stiff for?” sae holds in his laugh, seeing how motionless your poses are with him. “it’s awkward when theres people around..” you say through gritted teeth, praying to the gods that this shoot will finally be over
“it’s not this awkward when we do this alone though..” sae seductively whispers, lowering his head just right at the shell of your ear.
the photographer squeals in joy at the amount of shots he got from that pose alone.
you feel your face burn up in embarrassment.
“sae!”
#blue lock imagines#blue lock x reader#bllk imagines#bllk x reader#sae imagines#sae x reader#sae itoshi imagines#sae itoshi x reader#saeved
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coming home - connor dewar
pairing: connor dewar x fem! reader
word count: 11k
tags/warning: friends to lovers, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst?, mentions of alcohol/drinking, minor swearing
summary: your entire life has entailed having connor by your side, no matter where the universe carves your paths. back home for the summer leading up to your final year of university, there's much to ponder - even your feelings about your best friend.
notes: this is genuinely a labour of love, the longest fic i've written in a long time 😭 i wanted this to be short and sweet, but it's long and sweet and i don't know how to feel about that lmao. but (!!!) i am really proud/happy about how this has come together and i hope you all enjoy this fic just as much as i loved writing it 😇 this is mostly proofread, but it is 5 in the morning, so I'll return to this soon! (apologizes for any errors towards the end!) more dewey content shall be coming soon, hehe! much love! <333
(also! this is very much in celebration of dewey's first goal as a leaf, teehee! 😁💗⭐️)
Summer’s always your favourite time of the year. Tan lines, midnight drives, fireworks, the beach. So much sweetness is in the breezy summer air and you simply can’t get enough. You wouldn’t admit it, but your favourite part of the season is when one of your closest friends, Connor, comes up from his gruelling hockey season and returns to the slow and laid-back lifestyle of your small town. Having grown up next door neighbours the majority of your lives, you quickly became two peas in a pod, always together with laughter following closeby.
Your friendship is something you’ve always treasured, held in some reclusive and special part of your heart that only houses your fated connection. No matter how mundane your time together may be - Connor strumming his acoustic guitar and you reading as the citrus sunset dips into the horizon - it's all so memorable to you and nothing, as you’ve come to experience, can ever replace his place in your life. However, life is a constant cycle of change and that first dose came when you two were fourteen, too awkward for your own good and growing out of your bodies. Connor was selected to play in a high-level hockey league hours away from your hometown and as your fingertips buried themselves into his tear-soaked t-shirt, you swore nothing could compare to this pain. The absolute tear of your beating heart out of your raw chest that ached with every gasp. You were a mess, undeterred by your futile attempt to appear as nonchalant at your silly age, but the second Connor stood on your porch, luggage in hand and the sadest tinge in his sage eyes, you fell apart.
Despite the sheer anguish you experienced that crisp autumn day, you adjusted. Stayed in contact with your best friend and continued to build up your life in his absence. Completed all your teenage rites of passage - took some extracurriculars, went to prom (you wanted to ask Connor, but ultimately decided against it), graduated high school and started attending university in Calgary - nine hours away from home. So many things changed and some still stayed the same. Connor was still as hockey obsessed and through his diligent efforts, he’s achieved his dreams of playing in the NHL night after night. You were there for draft day and there for his first game, university be damned. As was Connor, in the stands during your high school graduation and any time you needed him, whether that was him sitting on the phone with you until four in the morning or meeting up with you halfway across two countries because he felt like it. There was always something so spectacular about you two, your stories detailed by destiny and hung amongst the stars. A divine creation that despite the odds, of paths that have taken you two elsewhere, always merged because that is simply how it’s meant to be.
And, so it is, your last summer before your final year and here you are, fingertips tapping against the wooden bar as your leg jerks in anticipation of a figure that will come through your hometown bar, Punch & Judy’s doors any minute now.
Your best friend, Charlotte, manages to interweave your antsy fingers in between hers, a nurturing smile across her smooth face. “He’ll get here, don’t worry.”
Your eyebrows quirk, your legs stopping all motion. “Who said anything about worrying?”
She rolls her eyes, unamused. “You know what I mean,”
Then, she goes on to untangle your fingers, leaning her crossed arms against the bar occupied by the usual mellow group of regulars, including your own bunch of friends. “Besides, you know him. Knowing you’re here, he’s tryna get here quicker than a New York minute.”
A funny feeling flips in the pits of your stomach, an immediate flush coating the apples of your cheeks as you clumsily grab at your cider bottle. Connor always poked fun at your inability to enjoy a cold one, resorting to fruity flavours of cider. “He’s a law-abiding citizen, he’ll wait for the greenlight even if it kills him.”
“If you say so,” Charlotte casts you a glance out of the corner of her eye, smugness tugging at the corners of her lips as she takes another swig of her beer. The bell signifying the main door opening sounds in the background. “Oh, look. Speak of the devil and he shall appear! Hey there, stranger!”
Suddenly, your attention is elsewhere, eyes pinned to the tall silhouette that struts through the doorway of the LED ridden bar, kind eyes and a kinder smile with his tousled hickory hair and hushed voice finding its way to your eardrums again after so long. It’s like coming home again, watching from afar as close friends fall into endless hugs, your reunion saved for last as you beam a closed mouthed smile, reproduced by your best friend who opens his arms for a hug that solely belongs to you. You fall into him instinctively, inhaling his soft woody scent as you bury yourself in his embrace, the pendulum of your life coming to a pause as your universe centres.
“Get a room, you two!” Connor’s brother, Quinn taunts from over your shoulder, eliciting an exaggerated sigh from you as you’re reluctantly reminded of the lame chirps he seems to be full of whenever you and Connor are together.
You ignore him, savouring the moment for what its momentarily worth before Connor’s pulling away, arms loosely wrapped around the circumference of your waist as he peers down at you with those same green eyes you’ve known your entire life.
“Hi.” you breathe, short and sweet.
He simpers, something coy in the lines of his smile as he replies back, “hi.”
It’s a simple greeting, but there’s so much more in those few syllables - the endless gravity of your shared experiences and fondest memories making their way back to each other. Your eyes linger for a minute longer, taking in each other’s presence that’s long been missed due to your busy schedules leading up to your summer break. You part ways and despite how fulfilled you are to have him here and see him after some time, there’s a small knack that nags at you - hollow and wanting as you venture to a booth nearby, squishing up in between Charlotte and another one of your guy friends, Owen Power, who like Connor has been busting his ass in the NHL and friends with you all for longer than you can remember. You all chatter amongst yourselves with Connor’s brother sitting across from you, a discussion brewing as Connor returns shortly after getting a drink at the bar, sliding beside his brother with a beer in hand.
“Come on, Connie. Help me out here, these guys have lost the plot.” His brother argues, an eye roll your response.
Connor looks between your group, a knit in his eyebrows. “What’s the deal?”
“They’re tryna say, get this - that dolphins are more dangerous than damn orcas. Can you believe that?” Quinn attests, expression pinched as he ruffles the curls of his bleached hair sticking out his snapback.
“Hey! We’re well within reason to be arguing with you. You on the other hand? I don’t think so.” Charlotte proclaims, an accusatory finger directed towards Quinn.
“Yeah, not gonna lie, Quinn. You’re severely underestimating how evil dolphins are,” concludes Owen, his hand raised as he pushes up his glasses on the bridge of his sunkissed nose.
Quinn guffaws, jaw slack as his eyes flicker between everyone’s faces in quick succession, clearly in disbelief. “Are you hearing this right now?”
“Look, Q - we’ve been over this,” you start, hands extending as if to make sense of your proposed point. “You’ve been fed dolphin propaganda. We’ve literally shown you so many resources about their heinous crimes. Take it or leave it.”
Quinn groans, elbowing his older brother who wordlessly listens to the ongoing conversation. “Bro! A little help would be nice.”
A brief pause follows his younger brother’s melodrama, Connor weighing out the arguments of a conversation he hadn’t been here for, his eyes flickering over towards yours fleetingly. An unexplained shiver runs down your spine, the action camouflaged poorly as you appear to distract yourself from the sensation, fingernails scratching against the lines of your neck as you look up at the ceiling.
“Hello?!” hollers Quinn.
You swear he loves to hear himself talk.
“They’re right,” Connor concludes, eyes set on you as he speaks before he takes a swig of his beer, focusing back onto his brother. “Personally, I think you’ve been taking one too many trips to Sea World.”
“The promised land of dolphin propaganda.” mentions Charlotte.
“This is ridiculous!” Quinn exclaims, sending a heavy elbow into his older brother’s arm, all of which barely gains any sort of response from him. “What happened to honour amongst bros, huh? They don’t have that in Minnesota or what?”
Connor scoffs lightly, his smile reading amused as his head turns towards his brother. “That doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything you say.”
Quinn mumbles something under his breath, clearly displeased. “I forget you’re my harshest critic.”
Their double act entices the crowd, your circle of friends laughing amongst yourselves as Quinn folds his shoulders with his usual theatrics. No one buys into it, much less Connor who drapes his arm loosely around his brother’s squared shoulders, leaning in with a tickled pink smile that reflects within your own expression.
“You’re just mad I won’t kiss your ass.”
That earns him a shove off Quinn’s shoulders, sending him into a fit of laughter. Everyone chortles along, basking in the merriment of the moment before you’re delving into other non-controversial topics, indulging everyone in the bits and pieces of your lives they’ve missed and just like that, you're four drinks in and so sentimental it hurts. Owen suggests a walk around the town centre, a tradition you cannot help but all agree to as you all shimmy out of your respective booth, bidding Judy at the bar farewell as you file out of the establishment.
The cobalt sky dazzles with stars you’ve forgotten shine so bright here, the midday heat nowhere in sight as a cool breeze pushes you forwards. You linger behind Quinn as he impulsively hops onto Owen’s back, who stumbles at the sudden weight whilst Charlotte laughs at the unfolding scene. Nostalgia warms your heart at the sight, eyes half-closed and posture relaxing as the warm summer night holds you close and kisses your worries goodbye.
An arm drapes over your shoulders, your slow strides matching up with Connor’s as he looks to you, smile small and earnest as he playfully challenges, “Since when did you know about dolphin propaganda?”
You gasp, humour shaping your lips. “Well, you’ve been in my ear most of my life yapping about it, so…”
“Hey, I’m just saying - was I wrong?” the smirk on his face attests to his unwavering confidence and as you catch a whiff of his woody cologne, you roll your eyes in defeat, smile still on your lips.
“Considering you wore a shark tooth to school, I didn’t think so.”
You have to bite back the wide smile that fights to spread across your face, a few snickers here and there escaping before the loose ring around your shoulders closes in, Connor smushing your face inwards against the strength of his bicep. You can’t help but laugh throughout, swatting away his pesky grip that lasts no longer than a few seconds before all you hear is the echoes of your winded chuckles. In an effort to stabilise yourself from the momentary loss of oxygen, your hand seeks Connor’s, holding onto his larger and warmer as your feet hit the pavement in unison.
“Feels good to be back, doesn’t it?”
You let your head fall to Connor’s shoulder, arm wrapping around his lower back as your steps sync with such ease. A lightness in your limbs and how perceptive you can be to the sounds of downtown - car horns, hushed chatter and the like - let you know there’s nowhere you’d rather be right now than here. Back at home, with your best friends and your partner in crime who you answer in the form of a hum.
-
Your first few days back in the Pas are slow and uneventful, most of your time spent decompressing from the taxing semester and unpacking your items, all of which you didn’t know just how much you possessed. In an effort to make the most of the sunshine and get out the house for reasons other than your part time job at the local diner, you sign up for community gardening activities and ask the groupchat if anyone wants to come along. Everyone appears to have plans, except for Connor, who in the early hours of the next morning, picks you up from your childhood home and drives into town where for the next few hours, you’re knee deep in dirt under the blaring sun as you plant various kinds of greenery to spotlight the natural beauty of your rustic town.
What is certain, when early afternoon pours in, painting the sky in shades of honey and tangerine, you’re exhausted beyond belief. You have no idea how Connor makes the drive home, yet he does and when you two collapse into the hammock in your family’s backyard, your lips are slack and echoing more yawns than you can contain.
“That was great and all, but that’s knocked me out,” Connor groans, limp body shuffling in the confinements of the cotton hammock hanging off one of the trees in your backyard. The same tree which holds the treehouse you and Connor partially lived in throughout your youth. “That was more tiring than hockey practice.”
You’re tired and easily distracted, your head perched up in a way that puts the treehouse in your direct eye-line. “Remember when we’d watch movies in that treehouse?”
A brief pause follows, occupied by the tranquil chirps and running water from the nearby bird bath. “Yeah, I’d always wanna watch Jaws but you wanted to watch Disney movies.”
You give him a laugh, shuffling yourself in order to get comfortable in the small space. Why did you two think this would work like it did ten years ago? The thought occurs to you, but you brush it off to save yourself additional mental load, making the adjustments to cater to some form of comfortability in the tiny space. Even if that means sacrificing your shared personal space as your body overlaps onto Connor’s strong and firm one.
“Says the guy who knows the all the songs in Lemonande Mouth,” you counter, “And, Let it Shine.”
Without missing a beat, in his sleepy voice, Connor replies with, “kissy kissy, Roxanne, did you miss me?”
Groaning despite the snickers slipping past your lips, you bury your head into Connor’s chest, refusing to hear the rest of his ramblings. “My girl is hotter than your girl, you know it! You know it.”
To get your point across, you unbury your head, wide eyes peering up at your best friend who’s so amused by this all, hair messy and smile stretching from ear to ear. A bright sight. “Can you not?”
“You’re just hating 'cause I sing better than you.” He follows that by sticking his tongue out at you, so mature for his age that you grant him the response of a heavy sigh and an averted gaze, settling back into the peace and serenity of your backyard.
However, the silence doesn’t last long before you’re speaking again.
“Your hair’s getting long,” you observe, fingertips dancing along Connor’s nape as you absently fiddle with the long strands of his hair, silky between your fingers. “You should let me cut it.”
“Name a time and place, and I’ll be there,” he mumbles sleepily against the crown of your head, soothing you further towards a serene sleep. “Unless you fuck it up. Then, I won’t forgive you.”
You give him the satisfaction of a laugh tucked away in your chest, the ghost of a smile dissipating as the aches of a hard work’s start to plunge their teeth into your flesh and bones, body like cement as you sink further into the comfort of the hammock, into the comfort of your calm summer afternoon.
“One of my friends from my team’s supposed to be coming up for a night or two,” Connor croaks, voice hoarse and the gentle breeze of the summer’s day pecking your skin in an act of love. “Think…you’ll all get along with him quite well.”
His point is punctuated by a tired yawn that proves to be contagious as you mirror the action moments after, eyes unbearably heavy as time moves slow like molasses, body further sinking against Connor’s. You don’t even stop yourself from falling asleep, only blinking away the exhausted sting in your eyes to answer your best friend.
“Can’t wait,” you mumble, adjusting your body against Connor as your limbs slot together like puzzle pieces, matched at every curve as slumber envelopes you two in a kind embrace. “It’ll be good - the visit…and the rest of summer.”
Your words trail in a drowsy daze, tone doused in sleepiness as your eyes can no longer keep themselves open, glimpses of hickory branches and pear leaves wishing you peace and serenity as you finally fall asleep.
-
Your shift at the local diner passes without as much traffic as expected, local patrons ordering their usual with a few tourists dropping by to try the culinary experience of your average but nostalgic diner food. Due to how quiet the establishment is - Mabel, your boss and long-time owner of the diner - lets you off early and with a hug, you scurry back to your family house to get ready for the night's events. After dozing off with Connor in the hammock out back, your mother softly awoke to you with a holler she’s used since the dawn of time.
“Up and at ‘em, kids. Dinner’s ready!” in the distance of your dreams, you hear your mother yell.
With drowsy film still coating your eyes, you and Connor manage to dislodge your limbs from one another, sleepy smiles and croaky chuckles exchanged as you amble inside your house and Connor stays for a filling homemade meal that everyone at the dining table fawns over. Connor hangs back as you venture into the kitchen to wash up, a tradition you two have forged, him washing the dishes and you drying them. Not much dialogue takes place between the two of you and there is no need. For all the instances where you believed the need for conversation, you appreciate this silence so much more - how there’s no urge to talk for the sake of talking and how much comfort there is with simply just being with Connor. After you’ve done the washing up and Connor’s hugged your mother goodbye, fist bumping your father hilariously enough, he’s climbing into his car and wishing you well.
“You sure you don’t need me to pick you up from Mabel’s?” coaxes Connor, the wiggle of his eyebrows offsetting the echoes of titters that leave your lips.
“I’m good, thanks. Need to shower and get ready, anyways,” a gentle gust of wind blows, fallen leaves scraping against the cement of your driveway. “We all know how long that takes.”
“I don’t mind waiting.” Connor simpers, says like it’s the easiest thing in the world and like it doesn’t demand for the city of butterflies within you to soar beyond their ability.
You flash a strained smile, giving the top of Connor’s car a pat as your posture straightens and you step away from the vehicle. “Goodbye, Connor.”
“See you soon.” and just like that, he’s gone with the wind, taking a little piece of you with him.
It’s when you’re strolling your way back inside the house, halfway up the stairs to your bedroom that your mom gives you a gentle call, beckoning you back down the stairs to find her in the dimly lit living room, mahogany reading glasses hanging low on the bridge of her nose whilst the quiet snores of your father and his baseball game fill in the background noise.
She folds her newspaper, crinkles running up your spine as she addresses you. “So good to have Connie over, makes me miss him more when he’s away.”
Connor is like a son to her, the better part of your childhood glued at the hip whilst your parents cooed and awed at your loyalty to one another. He helps around the house with no complaint nor expectation of compensation, buys her favourite flowers every Mother’s day with an additional heartfelt gift come her birthday. He listens, he jokes and he cares. What more could she ask for?
“Can’t imagine how much more you miss him whilst you’re away.” she comments, throwing her denim clad leg over the other, directing all her attention to you, swaying between two feet with your hands behind your back, sceptical.
“Well, we try to meet up when we can, so it’s not too bad,” your hand goes to scratch the back of your neck, chin jutted as your head leans to the side. “…Is that why you called me down?”
Awkwardness rarely rears its head in your household built upon openness and unconditional love, which is why the unspoken truth your mother struggles to vocalise raises a red flag, your skin prickling as you fiddle with your hands behind your back.
She’s looking at you now, a maternal love in her eyes as she speaks up. “Maybe, I can’t really put my finger on it, really. I did, however, want to say that I hope you guys keep each other in your lives, however that may pan out in the future. There’s a special happiness in your eyes I want you two to be selfish with.”
It’s a small thing, she says. A snowflake amongst the pile of snow in the realms of your mind, but as you lay in bed later on that late afternoon, staring at the gold stars Connor helped hang up in your room, your mind wanders places it never conceptualised. Inserts Connor in places in your life where he hadn’t been previously - opposite you illuminated by a candle-lit dinner, dancing in a kitchen as you prepare breakfast and kiss each other in between, above your bare body as he holds you in the palm of his hand like you are the most precious thing the universe has gifted him. It’s a point in time that despite busying yourself with dipping your toes back into your hobbies - heck, even walking your next door neighbour’s golden retriever to clear your head - it never quite leaves you, awakening something deep and dormant in you that never goes away.
Snapping out of your syrupy daze, you adorn yourself in your finest line dance clothing, slipping on your gingerbread cowboy boots before you’re tying bows in the pigtails of your hair. Your mother yells down the stairs for you and you leave in a flash, kissing her goodbye as she drops you off at Punch and Judy’s, your jewellery clinking together as you walk through the main entrance.
Much like your first night back, the bar is illuminated in dim light and sharp LED lights of varying colours. Cowboy hats dominate the sea of customers, the building crowd of the bar dressed in shades of denim and tired leather cowboy boots. Knowing the others have already arrived, saving a spot at a nearby booth, you decide to make your way to the bar first, ordering your signature berries-flavoured cider, to which Punch (co-owner) makes quick work of, the cold beverage in your hands before you can blink.
“Beer not to your liking, sugar?” A smoky, mellow voice grabs your attention.
You spare a glance at the source of the gravel voice, eyes long lingering as they capture the image of a face that stirs a flip in the pits of your stomach. The man stood beside you braces his muscular arms against the hickory brown of the wooden bar, his sleepy chocolate eyes trained on yours as he takes a swig of his tequila flavoured Desperado beer. Locks of umber messily cascade along his face, unless tucked away in his vintage black cowboy hat that ties together the rugged cowboy look he presents with the sweet addition of his light stubble. To make things worse, he’s stupidly fit, his black t-shirt clinging to the curves of his muscles like second skin. If it were up to you, you’d-
“Like what you see?”
The smug comment snaps you out of your hazy olge, a pout forming upon your lips with an accompanying knit in your eyebrows. You make a point to angrily grab at your pint glass, ingesting a big gulp of the sugary alcohol whilst the rugged cowboy laughs to himself.
Even his laugh is attractive. Sick bastard.
“Coming from a man drinking a Desperado? Funny,” you have to laugh at whatever lame attempt of making conversation this man is pulling, Punch masking his misplaced laughter behind a cough as he polishes a pint glass. “How flirtatious you are.”
You admit, your latter remark is more bark than bite, a quick chirp that refuses to feed his ego yet grab his interest all at the same time. The ruse proves to work in your favour as the sexy cowboy gives another one of his huffed laughs, his body turned towards yours.
“Give me a chance, sugar. Just tryna start the night off right,” he counters, so brazenly confident in himself that you don’t know whether to laugh or shy away from his prying eyes. “Tequila beer and beautiful company - sounds about perfect to me.”
You react in a juxtaposition, eyes rolling and cheeks flushing as you divert your line of sight away from the handsome man flirting with you at your hometown bar. Perhaps, he’s some city folk travelling through the town, fancying himself a good time at Punch & Judy’s weekly hoedown Fridays, a little bit of flirting on the side to inflate his ego and keep his blood pumping. Whatever reason explains his presence, you are not one to complain. Your love life isn't very entertaining to put it mildly, so you're willing yourself not to get swept up in his caramel eyes.
Against the wishes of your quickening heart, you decide to give Mr. Handsome Traveller the time of day, body shifting as you face each other finally. “You don’t quit, don’t you?”
He cocks an eyebrow your way, something sneaky and sugary in the lines of his smile. A brief pause follows his actions, the soft rustic sounds of old town country murmuring from the jukebox nearby filling up in the space between your figures. It’s when he’s about to make yet another cocky comment that your conversation is put on pause.
Connor’s voice calls your name, head turning to find your best friend standing in between you and the Punch & Judy’s cowboy of the night, eyes wide and expectant as they shift back and forth in the middle of your standing figures.
“Dew, forget about Desperados tonight. The lady in bows will have your head otherwise.” Handsome Traveller nods his chin towards you, humour dancing in his smile as he snickers into his half-full glass.
Then, it dawns on you. Dew? One of the handful of nicknames Connor’s adopted over the course of his livelihood. So, they’re acquaintances? Or closer? Your eyes frantically search for social clues to point you in the right direction.
“The lady in bows is my best friend,” Connor explains, a bite to his words as his eyes glare a knowing look at Sexy Cowboy. He then goes on to face you, gaze softening almost immediately as his head tilts in his friends (?) direction. “This is Brandon, or Dewey One.”
Oh. Makes sense, you rationalise. This is Brandon, Connor’s close friend and teammate on his current team out in Minnesota, the one who gets into fights he can’t win on the ice whilst Connor trails nearby picking up his fallen gear. The one he told you a couple of days ago that was coming up to visit. And, of course you were flirting with him.
Of. Course.
“Dewey One?” you ask, minorly deflecting from your embarrassment and still genuinely curious.
Connor inhales, as if to speak but Brandon beats him to it.
“Brandon’s just fine,” he interjects, expression unassuming as Connor’s eyes put his visiting friend underneath a microscope. “Nice to meet you, darling.”
Normally, you’d wrinkle your nose at the sometimes sleazy pet name Brandon casually calls you, except this time round you find it more amusing than cringe-worthy, which is how you find yourself grinning as you two exchange a handshake that testifies to how strong Brandon is. You clear your throat to stop the circus unfolding within you.
“Come on,” Connor gestures over to you to follow suit. “Can’t keep ‘em waiting.”
You call out an agreement over your shoulder as you go to grab your drink, the hairs on the back of your neck stand to attention as a close whisper brushes past your ears.
“I ain’t no quitter, sugar.”
-
The next couple of hours are spent packed into a crimson leather booth that peels at the ends, going from topic to topic over many a pints. Brandon fits so easily into your group, his infectious energy illuminating as he takes up space without regard, his confidence more enticing than suffocating. Everyone seems to be in good spirits as the alcohol keeps flowing and as you sit back, careful eyes watching your friends engage in conversation, you wish for this to be your forever for as long as you'd like for it to be.
A nudge against your shoulder turns your head, greeted by Connor’s sage eyes. “You ready for Judy’s Line Dance?”
His rhetorical question draws a laugh from you. “You say that like I don’t do this every time I come back.”
“Yeah, but if you were ready then, you would’ve brought your cowboy hat,” comments Connor, his veiny hands grasping gently at the ends of your braided pigtails accented with a bow. “What? Wanted to show off your pretty bows?”
He thumbs the ends of your hair, engrossed in the strands and its feel and for some reason, the casual intimacy of the moment inflates something in your chest, a balloon about to burst as you forcibly breathe in and out, clearing your throat afterwards. “They're my favourite accessories.”
Connor huffs, corners of his lips lifting gingerly as he continues his motions with his hands whilst your body remains rigid with the exception of your racing heart and crimsoning cheeks.
Your mother has definitely planted a seed you cannot unroot.
“Yeah, you’re almost always wearing them in your BeReal. posts. They’re real cute.”
For a fact you know so well, Connor’s confession comes as a pleasant surprise, one that shallows your breaths and quickens your pulse. It makes you reflect back on before, when all was platonic and the comment wouldn’t have made you bat an eyelash. Now, your skin tingles and you’re struggling to find the words to encapsulate your affection past your dry mouth. So, like many others in your position, you settle for a safe reply.
“Aren’t you a charmer?” you roll your eyes, brushing off his grasp because you might combat otherwise, projecting your attention ahead of you to come face-to-face with Brandon, who despite the engaging conversation he shares with Owen, his eyes skirt over to you.
You look away, even more flustered than before.
It’s just your luck when you hear Judy’s tap incessantly against an old microphone that you have something else to hold your focus, eyes brimming with glee as she announces the dances for the night and their updated partner songs. Last time you were here, they were still playing their beloved country hits and you danced along thanks to the amounts of alcohol you consumed, but their new playlist of pop hits within the past decade or so, you’re more motivated than ever to tear apart the dance floor.
“If you ain’t shy to do a little two step, please make your way to the dancefloor please.” Judy grins into her mic, tipping her cowboy hat as patrons make their way over to the illuminated space.
Connor makes way for you to exit the booth, your boots hitting the ground as you iron out any kinks in your outfit. Amidst your actions, you catch other movements out of the corner of your eyes, to which you find Connor playing with the ends of your bow this time round. There’s always been something so sweet and tender about him - in the way clouds are amongst a blue sky, in the way laughter spills over so easily in the presence of a found family and in how harmonies make you feel as if you're floating. But, it’s never been like this before, this intense and vivd. In a way that rids you of all thought and scares you beyond your deepest fears all at once. You’re still finding your footing in this new territory, a plain that speaks to the existence of your feelings but has no road nor destination. It’s a simple plain you seek to find some end to, picking up clues along the way that predetermine what the future holds. At the beginning, the animosity scared you pale and grey. Now, the end is what grasps your fear in a fierce chokehold. To pry yourself from the jaws of unhinged anxiety, you allow yourself to relax, to seep into the present and take it for what it's worth because the end is unknown and you’re not there yet. Not by any measure of time, you hope.
“Kick butt out there, rockstar.” His big smile deepens the soft lines of his face, a pure display of pride in his features as he gives you a pat on the back and gives way for you to shine.
It’s small, insignificant in the grand scale of things, but your smile deepens too and you nearly float to the dancefloor, adrenaline rushing through your body as the DJ prepares the upcoming music.
As you settle in line, you feel a light pressure lay upon the crown of your head, eyes darting to find Charlotte in the line next to you, giving you a wink before she faces forwards, thumbs slotted through the loops of her flare jeans. Her straw cowboy hat no longer, you reach up to find said object upon your head and with a chuckle behind your hand, your thumbs hang on your belt loops and let the music guide you.
It’s only when you’ve done your first turn that you realise that Brandon has also decided to join the line dance, huffs of amusement sounding from you as he glides and slides with a confidence dusted with his normal dash of comedy.
When Judy announces it's time for the partner dance, it’s your cue to catch your breath as you plan to evacuate the dancefloor. As mentioned earlier by Charlotte, the pretty sandy brown haired man who’d bought her a drink earlier in the night circles his arms around her waist as she gives him a smitten grin. You beam at the endearing sight, about to make your way towards your booth but are stopped in your tracks as a calloused hand clasps around your wrist.
Brandon’s expression is more sheepish than you’ve ever seen, his eyes distracted as they wander away from you. You raise an eyebrow.
“Who says the night has to end here, sugar?” His voice trembles partially, its edge lost in the coyness lining his smile as he finally looks at you with a dazzle of hope in his eyes.
A momentary pause delays your response, the moment used to turn the cogs in your head and sneak a glance back at your booth, where Connor was last you saw him, eyes trained on you as he simply watches the interaction. Under the weight of his gaze, a creeping sense of embarrassment climbs up your back, scolding the skin. You’re about to give your reply when the music starts up and Brandon speaks again.
“Put this desperado out of his misery and allow me this one dance?”
It’s so cheesy, maybe even idiotic - the words he proposes to you but he’s trying and that’s what appeals to you most, warms your heart and sways your response as you send him a nod that has Brandon cheesing ear to ear, his hand leading the way as you two fall in line.
You haven’t had much experience line dancing with a partner, the closest experience to this being a night you barely remember, happily back sliding with a fifty year old local in your college town bar who wanted to feel young again. Regardless of the fact, there’s no time to mull it over as the music already starts and your fingers are interlocking, matching up with the rest of the duos as you dance, cowboy boots stomping as you make a scene.
In all the commotion of heavy stops and ongoing thumps of Rihanna’s ‘S&M’, Brandon manages to catch your attention, mirroring your movements to a tee.
“You and Connor don’t do this much, do you?” he queries.
“You kidding me? Connie has two left feet, I’d be left for dead if it wasn’t for Charlotte.” You yell over the blaring upbeat country music, arms extended as Brandon glides you further away from his figure.
“Good thing I’m here tonight.” jesters Brandon, and you laugh along because you’re tipsy and having a lot more fun than you imagined.
Despite your familiarity with the dance routine you two execute to a tee, you’re caught off guard when Brandon brings you inwards, bracing you against his hard chest before his arm circles around the circumference of your lower back, holding you steady as he dips your body slightly. Your foot is kicked out, your (Charlotte’s) straw hat’s fallen to the scuffed dancefloor and you’ve just had the wind knocked straight out of you, eyes feverishly searching for answers as the bar falls to a hush.
You’re looking in each other’s eyes now, chest heaving and high off the adrenaline pumping through your veins from all that dancing. All time ceases to exist and it’s just two of you, sharing laboured breaths and looking for any cues for how this will end. It appears as if you’re in your own head at this point, combing through a thousand possibilities all at once to respond however you see fit. Thankfully for you, Brandon breaks the silence.
“One night and one night only.”
The sentence sends shivers down your spine and you’re pretty sure Brandon feels you quiver in his arms as he gives a brief chuckle, hauling you up onto your two feet and bringing you back to reality. You don’t really find their footing after that.
The rest of your time at Punch & Judy’s passes by in a flash, more pints being consumed over your group’s loud chatter as the night stretches on. Charlotte and her blue eyed companion indulge in another dance before he’s whisking her back to the bar and paying for everyone’s next set of drinks - bless his heart. He introduces himself as Jack, a new face in town and as he and the boys exchange pleasantries, the wild eyed non-verbal dialogue you engage in pieces together Charlotte’s sentiment and if it isn’t enough, when Jack makes his departure, she gives him a kiss on the cheek and bides him a coy farewell, a promise to meet in the next coming days on her tongue. One thing is certain, when Jack makes his exit from the bar, the door shutting behind him, you’re yelling and shaking each other’s shoulders in glee, stupidly happy and sharing that with one another.
Your table has their last drinks and before you know it, you’re being squeezed into the back of Owen’s pickup truck, sandwiched between Charlotte and Connor whilst Owen and Brandon sit up front. Over the murmured sounds of slow alternative music, you get bits and pieces of their conversation, the two excitedly talking about their shared love for Legos and the most they’ve splurged on one set. You shake your head with a laugh, going to share your merriment with Charlotte, only to find her soundly asleep, a light snore bypassing her punch pink lips.
“How you holdin’ up, champ?” Connor’s low voice draws you in, a slight head turn in his direction. “Don’t think I’ve seen you dance like that since we were ten and begging our parents to have a sleepover.”
The image is so vivid in your brain, two wide eyed kids that held hands as they begged and pleaded to have a sleepover, only for their polite request to be refused. Taking matters into your own hands, you dragged your parents’ big hands into the living room, where in front of them and an oblivious Connor, turned on MTV and danced to some popular song of the time. Lucky for you, it worked. Unluckily, Connor would hold that over your head forever onwards.
You’re cringing into your hand, face mangled in discomfort as you wish away the reality of you doing that away. “One of us had to convince them. Plus, it worked, didn’t it?”
“I can’t argue with that,” Connor laughs behind a fist before his hand falls to his side, a moment of quiet between you two. “You and Brandon seem to be hitting it off.”
A single eyebrow raises to express your confusion, perplexed frown prominent not because of his statement which is completely true, but because there’s an edge to his voice - something unfamiliar and cold in the way he says his words - a tone you’ve yet to hear, even after all these years. Uncertain how to proceed, you choose to be cautious about the matter, selecting your words carefully.
“He’s nice,” you state, because Brandon is but something in you twists uncomfortably, feels the recognizable pangs of embarrassment as you’re subjected to uttering this out loud. Or rather, in front of Connor. A betrayal of some sorts. “You were right about him fitting right in with us.”
There’s a strange shift in the air in the backseat of the car, the once peaceful quiet now becoming increasingly heavy and awkward as your words hang in the air like knives. Connor absorbs your words, stare averted as he watches his fingers fiddle with the lock of the door on the windowsill. You run your palms against the material of your denim shorts because you don’t know what to do with them otherwise.
It’s only when you’ve scratched the back of your neck, eyes stiffly roaming the interior of the car that Connor replies. “Yeah..I guess I just didn’t know how well.”
You’re about to ask him what he means by that, going to press him but Owen’s suddenly shut off the truck, his blinding interior lights turning on and him killing the ignition, alerting you of your arrival. Connor climbs out before your vision reverts back to normal, so you put the matter on pause and softly wake up Charlotte who sheepishly wipes away dried drool at the corner of her lips and climbs out the pick-up with you. You’re about to shut the door behind you, though someone beats you to it.
“I got it.” Brandon’s husky voice sounds from behind you, the slam of the door following.
You send an appreciative smile his way, perhaps a bit of timidity mixed in there too, turning to include Charlotte in any possible conversation to come, only to find her halfway up the porch stairs of Connor’s house.
How is it always the two of you left alone?
“Let’s head in, it’s chilly out here.” suggests Brandon, you falling in line with his request as the beginnings of goosebump dot your arms, the roughness of your skin hitting an all time high as Brandon’s large hand falls to the small of your back, guiding you up the stairs into the cosy and quaint house.
Hums of conversation lead from the back porch of Connor’s house, the presence of your friends known as you wordlessly navigate your way through the halls of Connor’s house, hallways and framed pictures you’ve committed to memory. When you’ve made your way to the kitchen, you find Owen nursing a cool bottled water, hair tousled and cheeks dusted in pink.
“There you two are,” announces Owen, fingers threading through the waves of his brown hair. “Everyone’s out back - apparently, Quinn’s out back too.”
You waste no time beelining for the backyard, the sudden weight of your reality dawning on you the second you stepped through Connor’s doorway, a cold shower of water easing you out of the mirage you’ve impulsively floated in. Once you’re outside, the cool air sinking into your skin, you spying the usual suspects - Quinn, Charlotte and Connor gathered together around a fire Quinn boasts about making. His glee is short lived.
“That boy scouts training finally coming in handy, huh?” Charlotte banters, a suppressed smirk sneaking amongst her features as she takes a seat in one of the camping chairs surrounding the fire.
“You laugh now but when you need someone to tie an impossible knot and survive off the land, don’t come running to me.” responds Quinn, taking a swig of his beer as Charlotte holds her hands up in surrender, laughing regardless.
You’re about to turn on your heels to head back inside, retrieving a beverage of your own, but a familiar call of your name is stopping you in your tracks.
“I’ve got your cider here,” alerts Connor, expression indifferent as he approaches you to hand off a can of your favourite berry cider and a bottle of water. “Blankets are on the chairs too.”
It’s embarrassing how much you want to melt into this man’s arms right now. Nonetheless, for reasons you know all too well, you express your gratitude in a toothy grin that he mirrors with a closed mouth, pulling you down into the camping chair beside his.
Soon enough, Brandon and Owen are sitting round the fire too and your night ends like this, light-hearted discussions under the stars as the heat from the open flame soothes your heavy eyelids closed. Whilst you’re mildly awake, you don’t miss the glances you and Bradon trade over the sandstone fire, loaded questions in his eyes. Had this been any other occasion, any other person not linked to Connor, any other reality where your current feelings didn’t exist for Connor, then there would be no questions asked, blossoms of wine doting both your necks come tomorrow morning. Alias, these were not the conditions and simply lounged in your camping chair, hoping Brandon didn’t look your way every time Connor’s hand would play with the bows in your hair.
-
Arm hanging out of his shiny porcelain white pick-up truck, Brandon squints as the rays from the blistering sun reflect into his eyes. Having said their goodbyes earlier, Connor and Brandon dab each other up with good-natured smiles before Brandon throws his focus over to you, standing with a bit more awkwardness than you’d like.
“Take care, Lady in bows,” Brandon says, a well-mannered nod sent your way with a closed mouth smile. “Don’t give Dewey a hard time. He’ll come round.”
For a split second, you’re eyeing him as if his face contains all the answers, but when he gives you that knowing look, the same one Charlotte and your mother give you any time Connor’s name is mentioned - you know. Know all too well and blush as a result, head snapping behind you to see if Connor’s within earshot. Thankfully, he’s in the middle of chatting with his brother, hands in his pocket as Quinn points off into the distance. You circle back to Brandon, the apples of his cheeks clear as day as he snickers like he’s been told a secret.
It’s as if this best kept secret brings you infinitely closer, your walls falling as you begin to bare the depth of your sentiment surrounding Connor. There’s no more beating around the bush, so you lower your head as you kick at the rocks at your feet. “You think so?”
You hate how small your voice comes out, meek and questioning everything known to man. It’s unfamiliar and not to mention, uncomfortable in every aspect of the word. Alias, Brandon sees you - catches the vulnerability you’ve shared with him and embraces you with a kindness that ushers a relieved sigh from you as he responds back.
“I’d bet my NASA Space Shuttle lego set on it.” Brandon banters, smirk soft and small.
So, he’s serious. Very serious, it seems because you know how treasured the item is to him. You exhale a breath you hadn’t known you were holding.
“Thanks, Brandon,” you breath, coyness coating your cheeks as your hands fall behind your back, your fingers tangling. “Don’t go fighting no alligators.”
“We can only hope,” Brandon gives his side-door a smack, rounding up everyone’s attention. “I’m hitting the road, fellas. Enjoy the fair for me, yeah?”
A chorus of agreements go off from behind you before Brandon gives one more salute, speeding off into the canary yellow sun. The small crowd outside Connor’s house disperses and regroups again later on that day, refreshed and ready to attend the local fair held every summer and the highlight of the year.
The fair lives up to its expectations, grand and joyful with a variety of rides ranging from teacups to a catapult-like ride that swings back and forth and then upside down. You’re distracted by all the colours, the sights and sounds that you’re so oblivious to what goes on right before you, until your vision is shrouded in black and your face is submerged in fluff.
Retracting, you blink your eyes to adjust to the change in lighting, lips parting as you stare at the massive latte-coloured teddy bear that Connor presents to you, the rest of your friends nearby taking their turns at the darts board way ahead of them.
He must see you struggle to find the words, his grin infectious as he jests, “I think I’ve finally out-conned the concessionaires.”
You must look like an idiot, or a deer in the headlights as Charlotte jokes, disbelief strikingly apparent on your face as you reach for the souvenirs, the fluffy animal so cosy in your arms and melting your heart into a big puddle of goo. “Thank you, Con.”
“Don’t mention it.” a smile plays tenderly on his lips, the sheer kindness he captures in his sage eyes enough to make your pulse race and head spin.
After the thoughtful gesture, your high spirits cannot be tamed as you indulge in every little thing your heart desires - laughing a little harder, smiling a little wider and stuffing your cheeks full of hearty food that makes your eyes roll to the back of your head. Charlotte basks in your glee, speaking of a glow you radiate as she snaps photos of your stuffed cheeks, a knowing smirk on her lips as she hands you your teddy bear once your food is finished. You don’t reply, exchanging words through your glances as you make your way towards the second bit of rides the boys want to try.
“Wait, isn’t that…?”
As Quinn’s voice trails off into the distance, you find yourself turning in the exact direction where he directs your view, eyes landing on a pair of figures - one being Connor and the other being, Amelia, Connor’s ex-girlfriend from high school and most notably, his last girlfriend. Her waves of blond hair glisten in the sunshine, something like a Renaissance painting. Her smile bright and wide as she greets Connor with an enthusiastic hug, a hug you feel lasts longer than necessary.
They then go on to immerse themselves in conversation, and for the life of you, you can’t look away - pry your jealous eyes away nor dry swallow this bitter pill because she’s still so into him. Hands familiar and all over him, leaning in when she gets the chance and beaming like she’s won the lottery. In all fairness, her life’s been such a tale - excelling academically, incredibly driven in all sports and other extracurricular activities that garnered her attention. And such a kind spirit too, always there to help no questions asked that it made you physically sick that you could foster any ill feelings towards her, because she’s such a light and maybe Connor would see that too. As he did when they were together.
You’re too busy losing yourself in a sea of self pity that you don’t notice Charlotte's attempts to snag your attention nor other things at first, your illegitimate fears getting the best of you but as your posture stoops, your eyes floating everywhere around the busy fair that it pauses on Connor’s figure. Once immersed in conversation, he appears distracted, indifferent somehow as his attention wanders, wanders over to you as his line of sight floats over to you from time to time as the conversation stretches on. At first, you think it’s your mind playing tricks on you, feeding into delusions that’ll soothe your pity party, but at some point, he holds your gaze, giving Amelia a pat on the back before he’s jogging over to where your friendship group is, not even uttering a word as he slots himself between you and Owen.
“What was that about?” Quinn just has to ask.
“Oh, Amelia just wanted to catch up,” he sounds distracted, his mind elsewhere but you don’t dare to indulge, your sight directed elsewhere as you grip onto the plush teddy bear as if it were a lifeline. “She says hi, by the way.”
You don’t do much listening after that, tuning out all the colours and sounds of the fair as you ride the highs and lows of what your life has become.
-
A sense of urgency plagues you from that day forth, a hurriedness in your actions as your anxieties get the better of you, going from lounging around in day old pyjamas covered in crumbs and mystery stains to getting a head start on your master’s personal statement and running every errand you’ve been procrastinating. Your parents swear you’ve become a different person - venturing outside the house before noon to visit the bank to change your address or go get your car serviced. Perhaps seeing Connor with Amelia was the jump start you needed to stop relishing in instant gratification, distracting yourself from facing any sort of music that pertained to the future and all its question marks. You still hang out with the others, more so Charlotte as you spend a few afternoons at the lake with one another, feet dangling into the water as she updates you on her adventures with Jack.
It’s the first time someone’s pursued her with such sincerity and charm that she’s hesitant about his authenticity. And yet from the sounds of it, Jack doesn’t mind one bit and shows his patience as they get to know each other, the smitten man taking your best friend on dates that further solidify their connection. You couldn’t be any happier for your best friend, this kind of treatment a long time coming, all of which you express just to see her blush and dive into the cold lake water to avoid further talks. You chase after her, teasing her mercilessly as the thoughts still linger at the back of your mind - your own sentiment with regards to Connor and what has come from the change of heart.
Emotional anguish and so much fear you’re not sure what to do with yourself. It takes a week of mulling things over, his missing presence due to off-season hockey training for you to make up your mind, peeling into his driveway and hiding your apprehension behind a strained smile as he greets you at the door. You preoccupy every bit of silence with running chatter, because you don’t want to hear yourself think, a multitude of topics discussed over vodka pasta you make together before you’re finding your way into his bedroom, the early evening sky greeting you as he flicks on his buttermilk bedside lamp.
He brings out his guitar, the same one you gifted Connor two years ago at the height of his newly-found hobby and plucks the strings, creating a melody you compel yourself to relax into, somehow ending up sandwiched in between him and the guitar as he directs your fingers to play one of your favourite songs, just because.
Apparently, your shaky hands don’t make for good playing material.
“You’re shaking like a leaf, you cold or something?” notes Connor, his looming presence over your body sending you into overdrive, your skin feverish and mind imploding from overwork.
“This is different.” you annouce, because it is. Unlike times before, it didn’t mean as much to be alone in his bedroom with him, getting glimpses into the life he’s lived and who he is as a person through all his possessions. You could handle the casual intimacy - the soft spoken whispers, the unprovoked kindness, the skin to skin contact that didn’t send your heart into a series of flutters. Now, all you can do is bat an eyelash, many at that, and this you must make known. For the selfish reasons you can think of.
“What d’ya mean?” he mumbles, clearly distracted and known the wiser to his breath fanning over your neck, goosebumps rising against your skin as your body grows rigid against his.
So acutely aware of your proximity, of the bursting feelings that thud at the confinement of your chest, your thoughts scatter like glass. “This, Connor. Being like this…with you.”
That strikes a chord with Connor, his motions ceasing altogether as his hands drop from the guitar and you’re forced to face the music. Sink your teeth into this undeniable truth that’s followed you all these years and you’ve been too blind to see. Confront the holy truth that maybe there was more divine work intertwined in your story with Connor, that maybe the universe wrote you two as one heart as opposed to two. That, as the summer days ticked by, the sun seeping into your skin, your love grew for Connor like molasse - slow and thick and palpable that once you were aware of its existence, that’s all that consumed you. Coated in his syrupy love, an endless desire.
You’re facing your best friend in spite of the hellish screams in your mind to play this off as some random mood swing, a joke even, because laughter follows you two everywhere, right? But, you know. Know better than anybody else that Connor knows you, like the back of his hand. Sees right through any charade you may jester him with, so any attempts to divert the conversation are as pointless as anything. Your confession starts and ends here.
A flicker of concern mixes in the dark of his eyes, hands clasped together with a crease in between his eyebrows. “I don’t follow.”
A full body sigh draws out of you, shoulders sagging and back curving, your hands casting aside the acoustic guitar with caution. You’re back to staring at each other, in the silence of the night, caged in between four walls that burn your eyes white as you once again grapple with your innumerable feelings and the finality of it all - this longing.
“Don’t you think,” you croak, question in your eyes as you look up at Connor, stifling any rise in emotion within you. “-this summer has been different?”
His sage eyes cast away, pink lips settling into a pout as he racks his brain for whatever answer you may be looking for. “No? Maybe? I don’t know.”
He adds on, looking back at you as he leans closer without fault. “Is this because it’s your last summer before you graduate?”
Connor’s got a point. When you’re trying to kid yourself into not having romantic feelings for your childhood best friend, your mind wanders to places where it has more control. Plans for after college, what modules you’ll be taking, what societies you want to join, what last things you’d like to cross off your list before you’re forced into full fledged adulthood. It’s a thought that lingers ever so presently at the back of your mind, like background music stuck on loop, but ultimately, Connor has missed his mark and you tell him so.
“Partially, but,” you wet your lips, struggling to find the words again as the burn against your cheeks proves to be insufferable. “This is what’s been on my mind more than anything else.”
Your point is accentuated by your single finger gesturing between the two of you, a poor attempt at best to foster some sort of confession of your romantic feelings. Because it's so scary, lending these thoughts your voice because they become much more real, spoken aloud for his ears to hear and his heart to see. For his heart to feel and what then? What awaits you once your confession reaches his ears? The unknown is scary, chilling to the bone and you wish to shroud yourself from it as long as there’s daylight.
There’s a beat before you hear Connor’s voice again. “What about us?”
Hearing him vocalise those three words makes the moment so real, so vividly intense that it sends chills down your spine and slows your laboured breath, the thump of your heart all you can hear aside from the ticking clock against Connor’s bedside table. It ticks and ticks, signifying the curtain call to your summer long charade.
“Connor, I..” It’s as if the magnitude of your feelings have manifested into some beast, with razor-like fangs and sharp claws that slash at the confinements of your chest, the words of love dying on the tip of your tongue as the moments hangs over your head like a gauntlet. You’ve never been so scared before, driven nearly to tears as your desperate hands grip at the material of your hoodie to ground yourself in some sort of way whilst you try to push yourself. To see this through until the very end and leave the destination unknown.
“We’ve been friends our entire lives. I don’t know anything beyond being with you and I never wanted to, and I feel like that means so much more than it did years ago,” his eyes are on you, undivided attention served on a silver platter that you turn away from, for its sincerity and shine. “Maybe, I did know deep down inside what I know now all those years ago. Like when I cried and begged for you not to leave the Pas. Or when you held my hand any chance you got when we were kids, or anytime you smiled at me really that let me know I always liked you. Maybe, even love you - I don’t know. But, what I do know is that I just couldn’t leave for Calgary without letting you know. Even if that means…”
You don’t have the heart to utter your next words, a dagger to the heart at even the possibility of losing your best friend and partner in crime. Perhaps, it isn’t worth saying - this whole grand love confession because this is a risk you’re not ready to face. However, despite your thundering heart against your bruised chest and however many times you’re second guessing yourself here, the weight lifted from your words is undeniable. An unspoken truth that had been set free, that needed to be set free - whatever the fallout may be.
A snicker snaps you out of your deep seated fears, your scattered daze settling on the view before you, one you had least expected. Connor, eyes cast away from yours as he huffs into his hands, a laugh you’re undecided where it derives from.
“…Are you laughing at me right now?” You feel awful for even asking such a ridiculous question. At the same time, you’ve just been as vulnerable as you’ve ever been in your entire life - some hesitancy is to be expected.
At your question, Connor’s huffs of delight cease and stares at you at alarm, realising his mistake. “God, no. Fuck, I’m so sorry, I just-”
“You used to rub dirt on me, and now you're proclaiming your love for me,” an airy laugh puffs out of his moving chest, a mixture of disbelief and amusement painted amongst his chiselled features. “It’s a bit of an adjustment.”
He seems…happy? Relieved? You’re not really sure, but what you at least find peace in is that there’s no sunken look about him, no expression worn that conveys disappointment and hurt because that’s all you’d have to see to know where his heart lies.
“Good or bad?” you ask.
His eyes bounce back to yours, those same olive eyes you’ve spent years looking into, glimmer with a sparkle that you’ve yet to see and robs you of rational thinking as your heartbeat picks up the pace.
“Good,” he whispers, like it’s a secret for just the two of you - one that is small and fragile, but so special and cherished that it makes your heart squeeze. “Because, there’s no one else I’d rather be with. Not by a long shot.”
You swear you could cry, burst like a dam and drown in your tears that overflow with such joy and relief because this is it for you. So right and settled, being where you’ve always meant to be - so loved and treasured by the one person who knows you better than yourself, someone who’s seen you at your most awkward and at your worst, and loves you because he has. Because he’s seen it all and wants to spend the remainder of his life doing so, a conscious choice he makes everyday because he loves you and you love him.
You’re unsure how you’ve ended up like this, limbs curled up in your lover’s lap as he cups your cheeks, rough thumb caressing the skin as his love shines through his gaze that blows his iris’ out of view. He looks so beautiful like this, unabashed and vulnerable, secure in love and what destiny holds for you. He looks at you as if you colour his skies and spin his world round and just like that, you lose yourself in him. Thread your fingers through his strands of umber brown and kiss him like you mean it. Kiss him long and hard, and with everything you have because it’s long overdue, so needed that you melt into him, lips overlapping as you taste destiny on his tongue.
The story of you and him, a tale as old as time.
#connor dewar x reader#connor dewar#connor dewar fic#cd24#minnesota wild#toronto maple leafs#nhl fanfiction#nhl imagine#hockey imagine#hockey fic#connor dewar fluff#dewey 2#brandon duhaime#dewey 1#dewey#residenthughes
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Nightmares
Wc: 2k
(+18 NSFW)
MDNI
Tags: slight angst, oral (fem. receiving), mentions of death, praise
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
You rushed into the elevator and clicked the 6th floor. This couldn’t be real? /He was going to be ok right?/ you thought to yourself as the elevator took its sweet time to get you where you desperately needed to be.
The hospital had called you while you were out on patrol. Saying Kirishima had taken a fatal hit from a villain's quirk attack as he tried to protect civilians.
He usually got back up with no issues, but he didnt this time.The elevator suddenly dinged as its doors opened.
You sprinted down the hall to the room the nurse had given you. You soon made it there only to see Bakugou, Kaminari, Sero and Mina waiting outside the room.
“How am I the last one here dammit?” You sighed in irritation as you moved past them to the door, but Kaminari stopped you.
“Wait before you-” You pushed him away and tried to open the door again. Only to be stopped once more by Bakugou. “Listen to us, you can’t go in there.” He said slowly.
You looked at him irritated and confused. “Let me go Katsuki,” you said sternly, shoving him away from you.
You rushed in the room despite words of caution from the four of them. You froze when you saw Kirishima surrounded by doctors.
You quickly analyzed the situation before all the pieces clicked together with three words. “Time of Death 9:23 pm”
Your ears rang as you fell to your knees, Mina slid next to you and placed her hands on your shoulders. “Honey..”
The tears began to fall, “Eijirou!” you screamed as your fists hit the floor. “N-no!” you sobbed.
You sat up before crawling to his side as he laid still. “We’re so sorry ma’am,we’ll give you the room..” the doctors said quietly before leaving the room.
You sobbed loudly into his chest as you gripped his fading warm hand. “Ei, y-you can’t do this to me please.” you cried.
Your heart shattered even more as you saw his expressionless face wrapped in bandages. Your body shook with sobs as comforting hands rested on your back.
Bakugou walked to the other side of the bed, you looked up at him with red eyes only to see tears pooling in his.
This was the first time any of you had seen Bakugou cry. Mina kneeled on your left while Kaminari stood to your right,placing his hand on Kirishima's shoulder.
Sero stood at the foot of the bed trying to stop his tears but ultimately failing.
“You damn shitty hair.” Bakugou gasped as he tried not to let the noise of his cries out.
You sniffed once more as you felt that warm lump in your throat. You gasped to let out a loud sob only to sit up at the speed of light in your shared bed with Eijirou.
“What the fuck?” you gasped, you quickly looked at the clock on my nightstand. It read 1:03 am.
You turned to your other side and put your hand out expecting it to fall on a sleeping kirishima only to hit the mattress.
/That's right/ you thought to yourself. These nightmares had been recurring ever since eijirou left 2 weeks ago for a hero mission.
You couldn't help but feel like they meant something, especially since you haven't been able to get a hold of him for 2 days.
You sat up in bed, running your hands through your hair as you fought the tear that threatened to weld in my eyes.
You heard whining as you looked to Eiji's side of the bed. "C'mon sage," you said, patting the bed. Your huge german shepherd hopped up from the floor and onto the bed before he laid down.
"I know I miss him too," you said quietly as you stroked his fur slowly. After a moment you realized you weren't going back to sleep so you swung your legs over the side of the bed before making your way downstairs and into the kitchen.
Sage followed close behind you, you reached into the cabinet for a glass and filled it with water. You took a sip as you looked around the quiet house.
You were snapped out of thought when sage began to growl. "What is it buddy?" You asked as you watched his hair stand on end as he lurked down the hall towards the front door.
All the terrible possibilities began running through your head as your stomach dropped. You quietly followed sage to see what he was growling at.
Before you could make it down the hall you heard the door creak as it opened. "Hello?," you called as you raised your hands prepared to use your quirk.
You took a few steps as you heard the door shut. You turned the corner swiftly, preparing for the worst, until you saw an exhausted looking kirishima hunched in the doorway as he shakily petted the dog.
"Oh eiji!" You cried as you ran to him and wrapped in a hug. He fell back on the floor as his breath was knocked out.
"Hey honey," he said as he wrapped his arms around you.
The two of you laid on the floor for a while before you pulled away. "I thought you weren't going to be home for another week?" You asked as you got up before helping him up.
"They let me out early. We got the villains.” He explained as he walked past you to the kitchen. You noticed him limping.
"Baby… you're limping." You said rushing to him to help him walk. "I'm okay. It's not as bad as it looks." He spoke as he sat at the kitchen island.
You frowned as you stood next to him. You pulled him close, letting his head rest on your chest. "I missed you so much, eijirou," you whispered as you ran your fingers through his hair.
"I missed you too, sweetheart." He smiled weakly. "Let's get you cleaned up." You said as you helped him upstairs.
You had him sit on the bed as you grabbed your first aid kit you kept under the bathroom sink. You walked out of the bathroom and back to him before you began to clean the cuts on his face.
Small hisses of pain were heard from him as you did so. "A pro-hero and can't handle a little rubbing alcohol?" You teased him.
He smiled as he laughed a little. "So everything went well on the mission?" You asked as you pulled out some butterfly stitches.
"As well as it could I suppose, no one got seriously hurt and the villains are in custody" he sighed as he began to relax.
You hummed in acknowledgement as you finished up what you were doing, "there you go, all fixed" you said as you rubbed his cheek with your thumb.
He placed his hand over yours softly as he looked at you. "How was everything here while I was gone?" You thought about lying and said "oh it was fine! A little boring but fine, " but it wasn't.
"I'm gonna be honest, terrible." You said as you sat next to him on the bed. " I've been having nightmares almost every night"
You explained as his eyes grew worrisome. "Oh baby…" He cooed as you leaned on his shoulder.
"they were all about terrible things I thought would happen when you were gone, I had one like 20 minutes before you got here actually"
You laughed dryly as you nuzzled into him. He stroked your head with his free hand comfortingly. "I'm sorry baby" he said as he kissed your head.
"It's not your fault don't apologize, it was just really scary" you said. He hummed as he pulled you into a hug. You sank in with no resistance as he held you.
“I'm here now baby..let me take care of you.” He said softly as he pulled away and looked at you.
He held your gaze for a moment before leaning in and kissing you. You whined softly as he did so, realizing just how much you missed him and the way he made you feel.
“Eiji…please” you said softly against his lips. He hummed as he kissed up your jaw before nipping at your earlobe as he whispered in your ear.
“What do you need babygirl?” He murmured in your ear before leaning back to look you in the eye. You practically came then and there.
“Can you..use your mouth..please” You responded with reddened cheeks. "Absoulutly," Kirishima said before eagerly lifting and guiding you back on the large bed without a second thought.
He grabbed the waistband of your pajama bottoms before quickly taking them off and revealing to him you weren't wearing any underwear.
“Fuck baby..this is all I could think about for the past 2 weeks” he mumbled as he made his way on his stomach between your legs.
He gripped your thighs as he pulled you close, putting your legs over his shoulders leaving your dripping pussy mere inches away from his face.
Having kept you waiting long enough he closed the gap as he pressed his tongue flat against your folds, gathering your taste before delving in further.
His tongue prodded at your entrance slightly before making its way to where you wanted it most.
His tongue swirled on your clit precisely making you whine and moan. “Eiji~..” you moaned as your hand reached for the pillow behind your head.
“You're so wet baby~” He slurred as he slurped up your juices and licked your clit sloppily. He couldn't help but rut into the mattress at your sweet noises.
“fuck..mm~ don't stop..” you whined as your back arched in a delicious curve. He moaned against your clit at your pleas, “couldn't even if i wanted to..you taste so fucking good~”
He breathed heavily as he practically drooled into your cunt. You felt your orgasm approach quickly as you sank your fingers into his hair to ground yourself.
“fuck.. eiji~” you gasped as you balled the sheets in your other hand. He could help but tease you a little as he slowed his movements making you whine.
“You're so close, aren't you sweetheart?” He asked even though he knew the answer. “Please…please eiji..I'm right there~” you pleaded.
“God when you beg so sweetly, how can I resist?” he muttered with hungry eyes as he lapped at your clit before wrapping his lips around it and swirling his tongue in circles.
Your climax hit you like a train as you cried out his name in pleasure, unable to prevent your legs from squeezing his head but he wasn't complaining.
Once you caught your breath you legs fell apart releasing kirishima from the vice grip you had him in.
He gasped slightly as you let go, sitting up before scooting forward to kiss you. You moaned as you tasted yourself on his lips.
He licked his lips once he pulled away, his shark teeth almost glistening in the light as he did so.
“You're so pretty when you feel good baby” he purred as he kissed you neck, you hummed in desire as you felt his erection press against you through his pants.
“All because of you eiji~” you cooed sweetly in his ear before you kissed his cheek. “Now let me-” your words were cut off by a bark.
You both looked behind yourselves and saw Sage standing there, his tail wagging as he waited to be let outside.
“Sage buddy, you're killing the mood man,” Kirishima groaned as he rested his head against your shoulder in defeat.
You patted his back as you sat up and reached for your previously discarded pajama pants. “Let me let him out real quick” you said as you pulled your bottoms on as you stood up.
You reached for his face before cupping his cheek lovingly. “Then I'll show you just how much I missed you too” you smirked before giving him a quick peck on the lips.
After you pulled away, you smiled at him before walking out of the room, Sage eagerly following behind you.
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#my hero academia#kirishima fluff#kirishima imagine#kirishima smut#kirishima eijirou#kirishima angst#kirishima x reader#mha eijirou#eijirou x reader#eijirou smut
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Crayons & Cassettes
Chapter 1: The First Day of Kindergarten
You are a kindergarten teacher. Eddie’s daughter, Sage, is in your class. She bonds with you instantly, and Eddie is trying not to do the same.
warnings: this fic will be 18+ in later chapters, so minors DNI! In this chapter, it is mentioned that rumors about Eddie that still linger. no use of y/n. nothing else I can think of for this chapter because it’s really just an introductory one, but please let me know if I missed anything!
a/n: let me know in the comments or my asks if you want to be added to the tag list! requests are open!
word count: 3k
Chapter 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 (coming soon!)
Trying to shove tiny feet into tiny shoes at 6:30 in the morning was no easy task, especially when the owner of said tiny feet was fighting with all the strength in her five-year-old body to keep said feet out of said shoes.
“Please, Sage. I’ll do anything you want, just please let me put your shoes on.” pleaded an exhausted Eddie. They were already running late, which meant that he would get dirty looks from the other parents, well, dirtier than what he was already expecting. It was Sage’s first day of kindergarten, which he felt bittersweet about. She’d been attending preschool in previous years, so the transition wouldn’t be as difficult for her as it may be for other children, but she didn’t always do well around new people. She was like her dad in that way- she could be shy at first (which deviated from his own standoffishness), but once she warmed up, she was a sweet and bubbly kid.
Sage put her resistance on hold, “Anything?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Eddie knew that look: mischievous and calculating. It scared him a little to see that she was so much like himself, but it also made him a little proud. “Yes, baby. Just put your shoes on and we’ll do anything you want after school.” Sage thought for a moment, then made intense eye contact with Eddie, “Ice cream. And breakfast for dinner.” She bargained. Eddie chuckled and nodded, “Sounds good to me. We got a deal?” He asked, dropping the small shoe he was holding and sticking out his hand. She nodded and shook it, then stuck her foot out for him, beaming at the fact that she would get her two favorite things later that day. Little did she know that he had already planned on those things happening.
He sighed and thanked her, slipping on her glittery pink sneakers and tying them before picking her up off of the couch and setting her on his hip as he grabbed what they’d need for the day. Sage’s brand new Care Bears backpack- check. Keys- check. Wallet- check. Care Bears lunch box- check.
“Alright, ready to go?” He asked her. Sage nodded warily and Eddie walked out the door, kicking it closed behind them before walking to his beat up van, sliding open the back passenger door and setting Sage in her booster seat. He placed her bags on the floor by her feet and helped her buckle her seat belt. She looked up at him, “Dad?” She asked in a whisper “Yes, baby?” He responded absentmindedly. “Do you think my teacher will like me?” She asked anxiously. That made Eddie pause. He looked at her very seriously, grabbing her tiny hands in his own, “She is going to love you, kiddo. You’re freakin’ metal.” He said, leaning down and kissing her forehead. She nodded, “Metal.”
Your classroom was perfect. You’d decided on a rainbow theme for the year, wanting the classroom environment to be welcoming, colorful, and engaging to the 26 five-year-olds that would arrive within the next hour. Your lesson plans were perfect too. You were quite proud of yourself. Moving to a completely new state after teaching in another for a few years made for somewhat of a culture shock. Learning all of the new standards and adapting your previous lesson plans to fit them, along with having to write completely new lessons that fit your school’s specific curriculum was difficult, but not impossible. It was done. Everything was perfect. You were ready.
You’d moved to Hawkins, Indiana at the very end of the summer. You grew up in another small, southern town, so the small town environment wasn’t exactly new to you. It just meant you had to find your footing here. Declare yourself as a character amongst the established ones. You had been able to meet a few of the other teachers, and they all seemed nice enough, but they were all much older than you were. You graduated college only three years prior, and it seemed like half of your coworkers were on the brink of forgetting what college they went to. You needed to find friends your own age, and quick, because being a teacher can be stressful. Having friends around who you can vent to is key to keeping yourself sane.
You looked in the mirror on the inside of your classroom closet door, adjusting your hair for a moment. It was tied up with a clip, messily, but purposefully and cutely so. You pushed a strand behind your ear and made sure you didn’t have lipstick on your teeth. You decided to wear a light green dress and white sneakers- cute, stylish, and comfortable enough to chase around several very energetic children. You knew that the first day of kindergarten was always one in which you met the parents, and while they’d mainly be focused on their children, you knew there was a large possibility of photos being taken. You wanted to make a great first impression, and if your were immortalized in a Polaroid or two, you’d like to look nice. Above you, the school bell rang, signaling to the children that they could start making their way to class. You smiled and walked over to the door of your class, opening it up for the parents to bring their kids in.
Parents and students began trickling into the classroom. You shook their hands and introduced yourself to each one, smiling genuinely and directing the parents to where their child’s desk and cubby were located. On the first day, you always let parents stay for a while, and even held a carpet story time/coloring session in order to make the transition easier for both parties. You noted that a few kids were crying, which gave you a good indication of what kids would continue to be criers throughout the year. You didn’t judge, you just liked to know what was up.
You were crouching down to take a picture with one of your new students when a man who looked very out of place in your rainbow classroom walked in, a small girl hiding behind his pant leg. You smiled up at him, holding up one finger apologetically, signaling that you’d be with him in a moment. You looked up at the mom who’d just taken your picture, “Would you like me to take a picture of the two of you?” You asked. The woman nodded, so you stood and swapped positions with her. You wound the film on her disposable camera, “Say cheese!” You encouraged, which drew a confused face from the small boy, as he’d somehow never heard the phrase before. You snapped the picture without realizing the face he’d made and smiled, handing the camera back to the also oblivious mother and she walked her son to his desk.
You then turned your attention to the man standing in the doorway. You smiled and stuck out your hand, introducing yourself. “Eddie Munson.” He said softly. His hands were warm, but you noted the rings he wore made them feel colder. Eddie was an attractive guy, you wouldn’t lie to yourself about it. His hair was long, dark, and curly. He wore a leather jacket and a denim vest on top of it. He definitely had the whole rockstar look down, which looked a bit funny when surrounded by rainbows. There was also his daughter, who looked like a pink glitter bomb had exploded over her, as was typical for girls her age. You didn’t linger on his touch like you may have liked to, as you had to introduce yourself to someone more important. You bent and stood on your knees, peeking around Mr. Munson’s knees, “And who is this pretty princess?” You asked, hoping that calling her a princess would help her warm up to you.
You were right. The small girl poked her head out from behind the man’s knees. You saw that she got her looks from her dad; she had brown, curly hair that was currently tied back in a high ponytail, coupled with bright brown eyes and a small smattering of the lightest freckles across her nose. She spoke, barely above a whisper, “I’m Sage.” You smiled encouragingly, “That’s such a pretty name. Did you know Sage is a type of plant? And a color?” You gasped, piquing her interest, “Oh my goodness! It’s the color of my dress!” You said, feigning surprise, as if you were just discovering that fact for the first time. “And guess what?” You whispered. Sage was entranced, gaining the courage to move out from behind her dad and listen to the ‘secret’ you were entrusting her with. “It’s my favorite color.” You smiled softly, making eye contact with the small girl. It made her feel special. She smiled up at her dad, who was watching the interaction intently. “You want to find your desk and set your stuff down, Sage?” You asked her. She nodded fervently, excited to get the day started.
You stood back up to your fill height and led the two to Sage’s desk. “So, Mr. Munson, you are welcome to through story time and coloring. I try to allow time for the parents to stay for a while to help their kids adjust to the new environment.” You told him as Sage was putting her lunch box into her desk. The man seemed to shift uncomfortably, “Ah- I don’t know. Are you sure?” He asked you. You nodded, “Yeah, of course. Every parent is welcome to stay through that time. If Sage doesn’t do well around new people or in a new place, it can help her out a lot.” You assured him. He seemed to think for a moment before nodding, making his decision.
Little did you know, the reason so many people were watching the interaction carefully was because, despite being a good dad who provided for his daughter, the rumor mill still swirled around the Munson family. He didn’t want his daughter to have to deal with the same problems he did, so he was apprehensive about staying, but you seemed to believe it would benefit her if he was there, so he would stay.
Another parent walked through the door, so you excused yourself to go greet them the same way. After your kindergarteners we’re all there, the bell rang, signaling the beginning of class. You smiled wide, walking to the front of the classroom. “Good morning, everyone! I hope we’re all excited to get started with our day! Today, we are going to…”
After successfully driving Sage to school, and luckily arriving around the time he’d originally intended to somehow, he guided his small daughter through the halls of the school. At the end of the kindergarten hall was Sage’s classroom for the year. He bent down to her level, “You ready? Or do you want to take a minute?” He asked her. He knew that sometimes she had to prepare herself to go into a new situation. He was the same way; needing to take a few breaths or psych himself up for whatever he would encounter. Sage thought for a moment, “I’m ready.” She said, looking determined. He nodded, holding her hand and guiding her to the classroom.
That’s when he spotted you. You had the biggest and most genuine smile on your face as you took a photo with another student. He saw the way you acknowledged him right when he walked into the door, making him feel seen, but still kept your focus on the people you were with, most likely doing the same for them. It was a small gesture, sure, and it may have gone unnoticed by anyone else, but he really didn’t know what to think about all of this. He didn’t recognize you, even though you seemed to be around the same age, so that meant you likely hadn’t heard the nasty rumors that still lingered around him like a rain cloud, even into adulthood. He was drinking in the small kindnesses you showed him in the following interactions.
You reached out and shook his hand, introducing yourself to him. He didn’t know why, but it surprised him that you introduced yourself with your first and last name to him. It made you seem more approachable. He spoke his own name as calmly as he could, internally struggling not to stumble over it. When you bent down to introduce yourself to his daughter, he watched as you related to her immediately, over something as silly as a color. But she opened up quickly to you, which was so incredibly rare for her. He truly couldn’t grasp what it was about you, but he basked in your presence and he didn’t want to leave. Not for Sage’s sake, but for his own. It was no secret to himself that he found you attractive- you were pretty, new to their small town, and he didn’t see a ring- but there was something else he couldn’t place. He obviously couldn’t do anything about it in the moment, so he shifted his attention back to his daughter, helping her prep for her first day.
Once you wrapped the story up, you had the students start on a coloring page that correlated with the story. This was the time for parents to start trickling out. Eddie watched as other parents left. He looked to Sage, “Listen kiddo, I’ve got to go to work, but I’ll pick you up later, okay?” He told her. During pre-k, they’d gotten pretty good at the whole ‘dad’s going to be gone for a few hours but you will be ok’ exchange. Sage nodded, “Okay. Don’t forget about the ice cream and breakfast.” She said, scribbling with a red crayon and not paying him much attention. He ruffled her hair and kissed the top of her head before standing up and heading towards the door.
Before he could leave, you grabbed a piece of paper off of the desk, “Oh, Mr. Munson-“ you whispered, as the students were quietly working as the parents slowly left, “Here is my newsletter for the month. It basically covers everything we’ll be doing in class, and what you can be doing to help supplement Sage’s learning at home. I usually mail these out to the parents, but the front office said your address changed recently?” Eddie took the newsletter and nodded, “Ah- thank you. Yeah, we moved into a new house last week. It was after I registered her, so I’ll have to get that changed. Do you need me to write my address down before I leave?” He asked. “Well, if you would, that would be very helpful, but if Sage will get upset if you’re here longer, I can just wait until you update your information with the office.” You told him quietly. Eddie shook his head, “Nah, Sage is a trooper. She knows the drill.” He said, proud of his daughter.
You smiled softly, a smile that made his knees feel a little weak, and grabbed a pen and a notepad off of your desk, handing it to him. “If you could write down your new address, as well as your phone number, that would be great.” You told him. He had to fight the urge to make a joke about hitting on him in front of the kids. Years ago, that would have been the first thing he said to you, and he wouldn’t have thought twice. But now, his number one concern was his daughter, and doing anything that may end up being detrimental to her, like flirting with her teacher, was off his radar. He scribbled out the information before handing the paper back to you, “Thank you. Just make sure you update this with the office as soon as possible. Hopefully you’ll only hear from me about once or twice a month, as I do the newsletter and a call home for an update. But keep an eye on the events section of the newsletter-“ you said, pointing it out, “-it will have important dates like any parent/teacher conferences and the kid’s Christmas recital on there. And please, don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever have any questions or concerns. My information is down at the bottom. I’ve got an answering machine, so leave a voicemail if I don’t pick up; I should give you a call back within 24 hours.” You informed him quietly, finishing up with a soft smile.
Eddie nodded, taking in all the information you were giving him. It felt like a lot, but he knew that most of the important stuff would be in the paper you gave him. “Thank you. I’ve still got a little more time before work so I think I’ll go to the office now.. where is it again?” He asked, feeling more lost than he should. This is where he went to elementary school, but it had been so long since he’d been in the building it felt a little foreign to him. You smiled and opened the door, pointing him in the right direction through the halls. He thanked you once more, then started off thought the school as you shut the door.
You and Eddie were both left the same thought:
This isn’t good.
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson#dad!eddie munson#singledad!eddie Munson#dad!eddie Munson x reader#teacher!reader#singledad!eddie Munson x reader#stranger things#fanfic#I kinda ignore canon events sorry#I just want Eddie to be happy is that so wrong
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secret love song | natasha trace x f!reader
disclaimer; happy valentines my loves! for all of us wlw ladies, I decided to write a Natasha x female reader for @roosterforme's #love is in the air tgm challenge! based loosely around the song 'secret love song' by little mix.
warnings; 18+, smut, fingering, condescension (if you squint), dom/sub dynamics, afab!reader, she/her pronouns, smidge of yearning/angst, some fluff, mentions of eating/cooking, mentions of floydshaw (how could I not?), breakfast in bed, pet names.
description; natasha is determined to give her girlfriend a good start to their valentine's day together.
tags for people who may enjoy; @sebsxphia @lt-bradshaw @rhettabbotts @roleycoleyreccenter @theharddeck @laracrofted @mothdruid @hangmanbrainrot
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‘why can’t i hold you in the street? why can’t i kiss you on the dancefloor?’
Natasha gazed at the soft rise and fall of your upper body as she took in her girlfriend's sleeping form. Soft sunlight filtered in through the sheer fabric of the curtains that you had hung up the moment the two of you had moved into your house together. Hair spilled over the soft pillow that your face was nuzzled into, and Nat had to fight the urge to gently let her fingers caress over the tresses and down your spine. Fluttering eyelashes tickled your cheeks, and Natasha would never want to wake you, not when you looked so serene.
Picking up an over-sized button-up in a faded sage color from the floor, Natasha made her way downstairs into the large kitchen. The softness of the linen shirt felt soothing against her skin as she opened up the refrigerator, gazing at the groceries the two of you had gotten yesterday. Today was Valentine’s Day, and the first where the two of you were actually girlfriends. The mere thought of you being Nat’s girlfriend had a small smile playing on her lips, heart beating just a bit faster, and butterflies fluttering somewhere deep in the pit of her stomach. Picking out the bright red strawberries, along with eggs and milk, Natasha slowly moved about the kitchen to prepare breakfast in bed for her love.
The small smile that had tugged on the corners of her lips turned slightly woeful as she reminisced on the time before you were her girlfriend. Her heart ached in her chest as she thought of the countless times she had laid in bed, alone, tears rolling down her cheeks as she thought that maybe she would never get to experience the loving familiarity of holding someone in her arms. Perhaps she was not meant to hold hands with a sweet girl in the streets, not meant to sway close together on the dancefloor and share soft, sweet kisses as her girlfriend tucked her hair behind her ear.
‘i wish that we could be like that, why can’t it be like that? ‘cause i’m yours’
Natasha had met her now girlfriend a couple of years earlier, it had been love at first sight for Nat. Something about your laughter, your smile and your genuine care for others truly had her melting every time your gaze met hers, sharing that sweet, secret smile that you seemed to reserve for only her.
Natasha had pined in secret over you, and she imagined Bob knew the inns and outs of you as well as she did for all of the times she’d needed to let all of her feelings out. Bob had listened patiently as his pilot time and time again had told him all about how astounding you were, how she wished she could braid your hair, how she wanted to kiss you and hold you in the Hard Deck like all of the others did with their significant others. Even Bob and Rooster showed some PDA sometimes at the ‘Deck, leaning against one another and sharing soft smiles as they held hands, giving the other the occasional peck as they played pool.
Bob had been the one to tell her to ‘stop fucking whining and get on with it ‘Nix!’ - Phoenix wasn’t as surprised anymore as she had been in the beginning when Bob had gotten comfortable around her. The man swore like a true sailor, and he truly did not have time for any bullshit. That’s what she loved about her backseater. No nonsense. Only love for the people he cherished, and sage advice when it was needed.
Of course, before he had shared this wise notion with her, he had tried countless times coaxing her gently - reassuring her that you did indeed pine for her too. It had taken two months after that particular night at the Hard Deck, watching you twirl on the dancefloor in that beautiful yellow sundress of yours. Natasha had watched you reject Hangman for the umpteenth time, the cocky pilot merely smirking at Phoenix in an ‘I told you so’ manner.
Who knew Hangman to be so perceptive?
She watched you laugh and joke around with Payback, and challenging Coyote to a game of darts as the night went on. You blended in so perfectly, and yet Phoenix just wished you were perched on her lap, making easy conversation with Rooster and Bob as her fingers caressed your thighs.
Phoenix hadn’t had the guts to ask you out that night, and it had taken countless more pep talks with Bob before Natasha and you had made it on a first date. In the end it hadn’t even been Nat who made the first move, it was you. It had made Natasha’s heart soar watching your eyes twinkle as you nervously confessed to your feelings, heart clenching at the unsure and slightly scared look that hid in your eyes.
‘why can’t i say that i’m in love? i wanna shout it from the rooftops’
Natasha could only smile fondly at the memory now, but the memory of the countless nights with tears streaming down her cheeks and chest aching with longing for your touch and your love still made a small stitch of hurt churn deep within her chest. Shaking her head, Nat moved softly around the kitchen, careful when she brought out the pan she needed, setting it down as quietly as she could so as to not wake her girlfriend.
Whisking together the ingredients she knew by heart, soon enough the sizzling of the pan, that was filled with pancake batter, could be heard through the homey kitchen that was littered with pictures of the two girls. Most of them hung proudly on the refrigerator door. Nat knew that gifting you that pink polaroid camera had been a good idea - the pictures taken with it were some of her favorites.
As the pancake rose slowly in the pan, Natasha busied herself with cutting up strawberries and setting plates down on a large tray. Flipping the pancake after a few moments, she then moved on to fill a small vase and place a singular red rose in it to decorate. When the two of you had been grocery shopping a few days before, Natasha had picked out small heart shaped little decorative confetti which she had placed all over the tray beneath the plates. She smiled softly at her work, and let out a small giggle at how excited she knew you’d get when you saw it.
Assembling the various treats she’d prepared for your breakfast in bed, Natasha slowly made her way up the stairs to your bedroom, where you lay on your back now. The sheet had slid down to your waist, and the soft sunlight made your skin glow so perfectly on your bare upper body that Nat almost dropped the tray where she stood in the doorway. God, you were stunning.
“Wake up, beautiful,” Natasha murmured softly as she set the tray down on her side of the bed. A soft, unintelligible murmur was all she could hear as your reply. Moving slowly, Nat gently climbed onto your side of the bed, letting her lips gently grace against your cheek, placing the softest of kisses to your nose - which promptly scrunched up cutely in response to the feather light touch.
“Nat… baby, it’s so early,” your voice was riddled with sleep, hands moving up to cover your eyes. Phoenix only giggled and shook her head “It’s already 8, gorgeous… I made us breakfast,” murmuring softly, Nat placed her lips onto yours for a soft, chaste kiss. “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby,” Natasha continued, letting her hand softly stroke your cheek. At the sound of that sentence, your eyes flew open, a sad look overcoming your features.
“Natasha!” you exclaimed, a small pout forming on your face “we were supposed to make pancakes together,” that soft, sad whine really tugged at Natasha’s heart strings, but she only smiled softly as she straddled your midsection. “Baby, please don’t be upset… I really wanted to give you breakfast in bed. Promise we can cook lunch together?” Natasha’s lips softly came in contact with her girlfriends sensitive throat, slowly working up towards her ear.
“You don’t fight fair, Trace…” you sighed, your hands coming to rest on Natasha’s hips, your grip tightening slightly as Natasha’s tongue licked a small trail down your neck. “C’mon, baby… our pancakes will get cold,” Nat smirked, sitting up right before she removed herself from your body. A soft groan left your parted lips, but the smile that followed let Nat know you appreciated the gesture. As you took in the sight of the breakfast she had prepared, your lip wobbled slightly as tears accumulated in your eyes - it was official, Natasha Trace was the most beautiful girlfriend ever.
“Baby…” your voice shook with emotion “this is so sweet! The little hearts! When did you sneak those into our cart?!” your smile was enough to have Nat giggling as she sat cross-legged before you, as you sat up to join her, pecking her lips lovingly. “Thank you,” you told her sincerely before your lips met again in a chaste kiss.
‘it’s obvious you’re meant for me, every piece of you it just fits perfectly’
Enjoying the leisurely breakfast together as the sun filtered through the window could only be described as serene. You couldn’t help but feed Natasha strawberries every once in a while, mostly because she looked so adorable when you fed her, but also because the feeling of her soft lips against your fingertips had your stomach doing somersaults.
And when she, after the fifth strawberry, seemed to catch on to your scheme, she smirked softly, letting the juice of the strawberry slowly drip from her lips as he gently nibbled at the pad of your finger which lingered on her parted lips.
The surprised gasp that fell from your own lips was soon followed by the smallest of whimpers, heat rising through your abdomen, up to your chest.
“Natasha…” you breathed, as you leaned in closer to her smirking face. Her hand slowly tangled itself in your hair, tilting your head back slightly as she hummed “Yes, baby?”
“Please,” you whined, eyes fluttering shut as you felt your girlfriend's small sporadic tugs at your strands.
“Please what, honey?” Natasha murmured, slowly letting her lips ghost over your exposed neck. Breath hitched in your throat, your reply of ‘need you’ was slightly stuttered, punctuated by a soft moan as Nat latched onto a particularly sweet spot on your neck, giving it the same treatment as your finger.
Breakfast forgotten, Natasha couldn’t help but giggle softly against your neck as she gently pushed you backwards down towards the fluffy pillows again. Her lips ghosted over sensitive skin, drinking in the melodious sighs and sounds that left parted lips as she pressed her body into yours, her lips soon finding their home against your own.
The soft touch of your hands against her ribs made Natasha shiver, her tongue slowly caressing your bottom lip as her own hands wandered leisurely towards your exposed chest. Her nimble fingers swiftly found their target, rolling your nipples in between them, alternating between letting her whole palm massage your breast gently and pinching at your nipples, swallowing your every moan as she went.
Giving your lower lip a gentle nip, Nat’s mouth and tongue drew a wet path down your collarbones before her tongue swirled slowly over your other nipple.
Loud moans and whimpers tore from your mouth, your back arching as your fingers wound tightly into Nat’s dark tresses, pressing her closer and closer to your chest as she sucked and gently teethed at your sensitive skin.
“Phoenix!” the cry tumbled breathlessly from your lips just as the fiery rays of the red sun exploded into the room, and Natasha wouldn’t be ashamed to admit that hearing you use her call-sign was much more of a turn on for her than it should be. At some point during her worship of your chest, your soft thighs had spread for her, and Natasha found herself softly grinding her thigh into your slick heat, your whimpers and moans for her driving her wilder by the second.
“Nat!” you gasped “Please, baby… I need you, need you in me!” God, Natasha swore she could die happy hearing your needy little whimpers for her. Inching her other hand slowly in between your bodies, Nat paused as she cupped your slick folds in her hand, softly letting her finger slide in between them.
“Aw, does my sweet honey need that pretty pussy fucked, hm?” Natasha cooed, releasing your nipple to look at your squirming form and pouty face - lips swollen and eyes shiny. Big eyes gazed back at her, your head bobbing furiously in a nod as Phoenix smiled down at you, the red rays of the sun giving her a fiery halo.
Licking her lips, Natasha slowly let her fingers delve into you, letting the heel of her palm rest against your clit as she slowly pumped two fingers in and out of your wetness. A sigh of relief left you as your head tilted back into the pillows, eyelids fluttering close as a dull ache was being relieved, slow building pleasure rolling over you in steady waves as you started to come apart in your girlfriend's palm. She held you, in the palm of her hand, she always had - it was just more noticeable now when your body nearly went limp at her movements.
“C’mon baby, taking me so well, sweetheart…” Nat cooed as your moans and whimpers came closer together, your chest rising and falling more rapidly as Natasha’s fingers fucked into your pussy, curled slightly to hit that sweet spot that made your slick coat Natasha’s hand, slowly trickling down her wrist.
“Let go for me baby” Phoenix murmured as she kissed your cheeks, your lips, your neck “I’ve got you, honey - fall apart on my fingers, beautiful,” she gently coaxed you, her fingers barely leaving your heat, opting to thrust and massage at that sweet spot until your high pitched cries ebbed out into a string of drawn out moans as you gushed all over Natasha’s fingers, legs trembling as she held you in her arms, helping you ride through that immense high.
“Nat,” you whined as she slowed her movements, her fingers still deep in your cunt, feeling you fluttering around them as the last of your orgasm ebbed away “Natasha— Phoenix,” you were whimpering now, glittering tears running slowly down your cheeks as the pleasure got too intense.
“Such a good girl, so good for me baby - well done,” Phoenix cooed as she slowly let her fingers slide out of you, placing a loving kiss on your parted lips before offering you her soaked fingers, which you greedily accepted into your mouth - suckling happily at them as Natasha helped place you in a position where she was holding you, your head resting on her chest.
“Fuck, ‘Tash…” you moaned as you let your tongue swirl one last time around her fingers. Natasha’s other hand had found the back of your head, soothingly scratching at your scalp.
“Did that feel good, my sweet girl?” Nat cooed, smiling into your hair “Yeah,” the whimper was borderline pathetic as you started mouthing at Phoenix’s tits, resting your cheek against her arm, suckling on her nipple and sighing at the comforting feeling, relishing in hearing the sharp intakes of breath and soft moans that Nat let out every once in a while as she held you.
The two of you weren’t in a hurry - you had all day to worship each other's bodies. All day, all night, for the rest of time.
#natasha trace x reader#natasha phoenix trace x reader#natasha trace x you#natasha trace imagine#my writing#smut#natasha trace smut#love is in the air tgm
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(⠀🎀⠀) : ❝ Girl & Boy flags ❞
[ Image 1 ID: A rectangular flag with 4 equally sized horizontal stripes. The colors in order form top to bottom are terracotta orange, orange-beige, off-white, an dark cyan. /ID 1 end
Image 2 ID: A rectangular flag with 4 equally sized horizontal stripes. The colors in order form top to bottom are pale sage, pale yellow-olive, green-grey, and olive green. /ID 2 end
Image 3 ID: A rectangular flag with 4 equally sized horizontal stripes. The colors in order form top to bottom are light brown, light tan, off-white, and dark green. /ID 3 end ]
— ❝ girl ( first flag ) and boy ( second and third flags ) flags ! These are NOT meant to be cisgirl/cisboy flags or transgirl/transboy flags !!! These are flags for people who simply describe their gender as "girl" or "boy" ! ❞
— Rq’d by no-oneee ^ ^ Don't tag as xenogender or xeneo !
Please read my rentry before interacting ! Don't repost ! ♡
Like what i do ? Consider donating to my Ko-Fi !
#(⠀🎀⠀)⠀⦂⠀ ❝⠀darling's creations⠀❞#did i make these just for my friends' rentries ive been making them ? yes . yes i did :) !#liom#liomogai#liom community#mogai community#mogai post#mogai term#mogai pride#neogender#mogai friendly#mogai safe#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt pride#lgbtq pride#mogai hype
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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Five
Matty Healy x reader
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?
Authors Note: IT'S FINALLY HERE. THEY MEET. AH IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY. But I have just finished writing part 6! So I figured why not post 5? SO here it is, hope you enjoy? X
>Just a note! So there's no confusion, this first section of 5 coincides at the same time as the last part of 4, as in where heading into the studio it was seen from Matty's POV, this starts with Mouse's and then goes onto them actually meeting one another! Okay? ta:)
Warnings: um, moody matty, lil bit of self-consciousness, mentions of scarring
Masterlist
I was running a bit behind schedule. Which wasn't too unusual for me, what with being the single parent to a rambunctious four year old, but this time around I’d somehow managed to allow myself to be waylaid by Adi's antics.
Apparently upon entering the studio this morning, everything had just felt a little 'off'.
And after having announced that, I’d had to sit back and watch on whilst Adi had trudged out of the room in her heavy black boots, only to come back a few moments later with a stub of sage in one hand and a lighter in the other.
Honestly, I was pretty sure that I could still taste the thick plume of smoke that I’d been forced to inhale each time I breathed in, even after having quickly made my escape. But yet it clung to the back of my throat uncomfortably and I couldn't avoid the grimace that wrinkled my face as I tried to rid myself of the sooty tang which coated my tongue.
But that was just Adi, I supposed. And it was one of the many things I loved most about her, how she was so unapologetically herself- even if it meant that I was forced to cough up a lung-full of herbs every once in a while.
See, it was actually Adi’s grandmother that had gotten her into performing all of the rites and cleanses she did so often. The woman was a real spiritualist and had taken Ads in at a very young age, so Adi had practically grown up around it all. She often spoke about how her grandmother had wanted her to follow down the same path and show a deeper interest, but Adi had always been much more fascinated by music, fashion and all things that revolved around tech.
She was a proper whiz with a computer, but that didn't mean she didn't have an appreciation for her grandmother’s beliefs, nor a knack.
"Are you still coughing up a storm, you drama queen?"
Speak of the devil, and he doth appear, I thought dryly, as Adi reemerged from out of the hazy recording booth. The sage now nowhere to be seen.
I rolled my eyes at her and continued to fiddle with the wires I had wound in my hand.
"I can't fucking stand the stuff, Ads."
Adi merely smirked at me as she bypassed, practically skipping.
"I know, but it's always good to be prepared! Who knows what we'll have to deal with when the infamous diva finally arrives!"
I snorted at Adi's mocking tone and couldn't quite hide the quirk of my lip.
"Fair enough. Just leave that door wide open, will you? And grab the fan while you're at it, as well. Don't need him, and whoever's tagging along, catching on."
I watched Adi laugh in amusement as she wandered over towards the sofa, the sweet sound echoing around the open space.
"On it, Captain!"
The two of us worked quickly after that, whirling around the loft, and one another, in an attempt to get things sorted before our guest's imminent arrival.
It wasn't long before we both recognised the telltale sign of a car pulling up outside though, and upon hearing the engines rumble die out I immediately caught Adi's eye from across the room.
It was a silent challenge and with it there was a frenzied rush to see who could get to the nearest window first. Adi had promptly tossed her notes towards my desk and taken to skidding across the hardwood floors, whilst I had all but thrown myself over the back of the settee.
Adi made it there first, even in her heavy docs, and claimed the windowsill with an unnecessary amount of arrogance. She grinned primly at me as I reluctantly slowed my approach, leaving me to lean in close so that we could both try and get a good look in.
But from this angle, there was practically no use. I craned my neck as far as my torso would willingly allow me and could only just make out the tail-end of a sleek car parked up on the curb. I assumed that meant Healy had arrived.
"Can you see anything?" Came Adi's impatient voice, a hushed whisper even though we were three flights up.
"No." I grunted back, "Your fat head's in the way."
Ads scoffed at me and I didn't have to look at her to know that she was now glaring up at me. I grinned.
"My head is perfectly sized, thank you! But seeing as we’re on the topic of abnormalities, you're practically half giraf-”
Adi immediately cut her snide comment short when a loud voice suddenly trumped the usual roaring noise that went hand in hand with the large city that was London.
"Right my!" We heard.
The voice was sharp and irritated, fuelled by an obvious anger, and soon trailed off into a muffled grit.
Adi's head snapped back to the window at the very sound of it, whilst I couldn't help but question just how exactly she’d managed to contort her body in the way she had, long legs tucked up beside her as she pressed her torso against the glass to listen closer.
The voice rang out again, sharper this time, and my eyes shot down to meet Adi’s own.
In return, she gifted me a catty side eye- obviously enraptured by the sudden drama that had seemingly been handed to us- and I could do nothing but shrug at her in response, somewhat baffled.
I pulled away slowly when the voices didn't seem ready to rise again, and silently wished that I could've been a fly on the wall during a conversation like that.
Clasping Adi's wrist, I gently tugged her away. "Come on, you best get down there before things go sideways and we end up on the backend of it all."
"Me?!" Adi crowed back, her eyes wide in alarm as she let me drag her back from the windowsill. "Why not you?"
My face scrunched up at the very thought.
"Ah go on, Ads. Please! You're so good with shit like this, can charm your way out of practically anything."
She narrowed her eyes in response. "I know what you're doing."
I pursed my lips together in an attempt to keep up the innocent act, already feeling a grin cropping up. “Is it working? ‘Cause we both know you’re the sweetest talker around, Wells. Could talk your way out of police custody, you like.”
Adi clucked her tongue but moved to cross the loft. “Yeah, yeah. But we both know you’re just being a coward! What, you really aren't ready to face him yet?”
I was swift to spin around on my heel to hide the truth my expression conveyed, and ignored the question altogether as I headed back towards the booth. I also pretended not to hear the cow’s delighted cackles as she began to descend the staircase.
"Just make sure the camera's are rolling before I get back! And wish me luck!"
"Luck!" I called out loudly over my shoulder before unplugging the fan and then storing it away. She was definitely going to need it.
I busied myself with the last of my tasks afterwards, an odd feeling of anxiety welling in my chest as I went through the usual motions.
It was strange for me to linger too long on thoughts of nervousness, because I usually had too much going on in other aspects of my life. Making things a little too difficult to concentrate on the many things that could possibly go wrong.
This time around though, we weren’t dealing with the usual up and coming artist, new to the industry and overwhelmingly pleased to be invited on. No, this time we’d practically been fed to the sharks.
Because, of all the possible people, we’d just had to have landed Matty Healy.
I started to question it all again. How exactly I'd gotten myself wrapped up in a mess this big in the first place and only hoped that Adi fared alright with dealing with Healy on her own for a while.
Maybe it had been cowardly of me to send her in first but I really didn’t think I could face him just yet, seeing as it had been me that had set off the pyramid of fireworks that had seemingly burned a hole in his life.
A dull vibration pulsed in my back pocket, breaking me from my train of thought, and I found that I was very much thankful for the sudden distraction it offered.
Messages now
Finnleyyy
Just got back to the gallery, Teds was fine when I dropped him off!
If the show goes on any later feel free to message me and I'll pick him up x
I smiled down at the message.
At least that was one less thing I had to worry about, Teddy was safe and well, already settled in at the local nursery and in all honesty, I truly didn't know where I'd be without Finn, especially on days like these.
I was quick to fire back a text full of appreciation before I slipped the phone back into my pocket.
It was just as I had finished clearing up the rest of the studio that I heard a sudden rush of voices trail up the stairwell, and stilled at the very sound.
It was Adi’s voice which carried the furthest and so I ran my teeth along my bottom lip before ultimately deciding that running and hiding was my best bet. So I shot across the loft floor and into the recording booth to stow myself away.
Adi didn’t give me the chance to worry excessively over every little detail that could go wrong as the group of visitors grew marginally closer. So to keep myself busy for a minute or two, or to rather calm my erratic heart, I chose to fiddle with the last of the cameras that had been set up.
I felt, more than heard, the moment they passed the top of the stairwell as the wooden floorboards of the studio tended to creak beneath added weight.
It was pretty much impossible to hear what was being said on the other side of the recording booth though, due to its soundproof walls, but that tiny fact didn’t stop me from practically sealing myself against the door in an attempt to decipher the perfect moment for me to intervene on the situation outside.
For days I’d been practically driving myself stir crazy over all of this, I knew that I just needed to get it over and done with, save myself the stress before I brought another headache on. Because I could do this, he was just some guy. Famous or not.
So with a final albeit shaky breath, I braced myself and opened up the door.
Thankfully, I was almost instantly met by the comforting sound of Adi's voice.
“Ah, there she is! Was wondering when you’d show your mug. Fancy a cuppa, babe? Fixing up a few.”
“Please.” I breathed out a sigh and dragged a hand through my hair as I wandered towards the kitchenette, catching sight of the two bodies currently commandeering our tiny seating area.
I focused on the man sitting closest and the first thing I noticed about him was the sleek haircut he’d styled, it was clipped closely at the sides but left long on top to keep the thinning hairs going in one direction. He was different from what I’d expected, but not just because he was older, he also wore this brilliant smile when he moved to peer up at me, sincere enough that I felt my doubts ebb as I smiled back, taking in the rest of him and his fine fitting clothes which seemed to suit him well.
I dipped my head in a silent hello before my gaze flickered over towards our remaining guest.
It shouldn’t have felt as shocking as it did to finally set eyes on Matty Healy in person, not after all of the thorough planning I’d put into his very visit. But it was strangely surprising to bare witness to the way his lithe body was currently perched on the edge of our shabby armchair, the very same Adi, Finn and I had dragged back from the secondhand shop further up the main road. It felt wrong almost, having someone so obviously used to a certain luxury sat in the tatty thing.
I pulled my mind away from that last thought and focused on how I couldn't quite seem to tear my eyes away from the way Healy’s frame folded in on itself slightly, legs jutted out wide, elbows pressed against knees, and his chin cocked high. The guy’s overall stance was oddly domineering for someone so wraithlike, with hollowed cheeks and an aristocratic smile. It made him that much harder to read.
Healy’s own eyes were also hidden, so I couldn't make out the line of his gaze. Disguised behind a dark pair of glasses that I could only supposed cost more than what I’d make in two, maybe three months.
The question of what Healy might've first thought upon seeing me and the way I’d drowned myself in the oversized band tee I’d chosen that morning crossed my mind. But I was simply just thankful for the fact that I’d forgotten my knitted cardi somewhere behind me in the recording booth. Silently wishing that I had the balls, as well as the body, to pull off the outfits Adi liked to wear.
"Hiya." I finally greeted them, forcing myself to smile as I extended a polite hand outwards. "It's great to meet you both."
Even with the dark shades on, I easily spotted the way Healy's brows lifted in reply before he- rather reluctantly- clasped his own hand in mine.
I swallowed back the strained smile I wanted to give him in return and focused instead on the shake. Healy’s hands were apt, fingers long and slender, skin much softer than it should’ve been for any musician, and his knuckles prominent but wrist almost dainty. He was a juxtaposition if I’d ever seen one.
He was the first to pull away.
“Likewise.”
My jaw ticked at Healy’s sarky tone but I didn’t let it deter me. Staying professional, I turned to offer the same sentiment to his accomplice.
“I’m Mouse, by the way. It’s lovely to have you both. Hope you got here okay.”
The other man was much merrier than Healy, practically a total contrast actually, and he showed it in the joyful way he shook my hand, still smiling away.
“You know London traffic.” He replied around a low chuckle and let our hands fall, “Lovely to be here though. I’m Matty’s manager, Jamie.”
I smiled as I nodded in remembrance.
“Got to say, I really love what you two have done with this place. Skylight’s incredible.” Jamie added and I grinned before settling into the adjacent sofa, leaving plenty of space for Adi to take.
“You saw that? But yeah, I honestly think it’s the only reason we were so sold on this particular building- ‘cause the stairs are killer.”
“I can see why! I’m dying to have something like that back at mine, but the conservatory will have to do for now.” Jamie enthused and stood up when Adi strode on over.
Skillfully, the man helped guide the wooden tray Ads had been carrying towards the coffee table and smiled when she thanked him for his efforts, the image of a perfect gentleman.
“Thanks, Ads.” I breathed out in appreciation when the girl handed me my usual milky brew, then took a quick sip.
Someone snorted as I did and my eyes instantly flew over to discover that the sound had been made by Healy, because of course.
He seemed all too amused by something and, from the way his body was still angled towards me, I could only assume that it was down to something I'd done.
I blinked in confusion before I moved to raise my mug high above my head, reading the large, industrialised font that covered the bottom of the cup. Cunt.
The studio was probably the furthest thing from a professional setting, we’d always wanted the entire space to feel comfortable, safe even. But this was supposed to be our big break and so we had been trying to convey it as though it was. But here Adi was dishing out the gag gifts Finn had bestowed upon the loft last Christmas like it was a regular Tuesday.
Still, with a shake of my head, I couldn’t quite bring myself to dim my grudging grin as I shot a narrow eyed glare Adi’s way.
"Ta for that." I voiced with a light chortle and tipped the mug at her in false cheers, before my eyes then flittered over towards Jamie, who had since stifled his own amusement in favour of taking a slow sip of his own brew. And ah, yeah, there was the matching mug.
Healy laughed to himself in the little corner he’d created and I caught the way he subtly surveyed his own cup, out of the corner of my eye, just in case Adi had got him too.
Somehow he’d managed to avoid that particular jest and I knew that the only thing Healy really had to worry about now was if there was a secret dirty message waiting for him once he’d finally polished off his drink.
"What can I say? The mugs, they do not lie." Adi jeered, a mischievous glint in her eye before she turned her head back towards the two visitors. "See you've met our wonderful Mouse then! Ain't she a looker?"
I grimaced away from the hand that reached out to grab at my chin and silently questioned what I'd done to suddenly be on the deserving end of all her taunts.
Jamie laughed at the pair of us, but even with it, I didn't miss Healy's quiet hum or the way he was now seemingly more interested in the contents of his cup than the current conversation.
"Quite. We were actually just talking about you on the way up here, mate." Jamie divulged and I dragged my attention back towards the man, eyebrows lifting.
"Only good things, I hope." I replied, somewhat uncomfortably, but smiling lightly at Jamie before I managed to catch Adi's eye.
Ads simply waved me off. "Of course! They were interested in the show- how it started and what not." She told me and I nodded, mostly to myself as I relaxed further into the settee.
"Oh, well yeah, we've been around a while now."
"Adi mentioned that you were just a kid when you started out, sounds mad putting it like that." Jamie pondered, appearing quite intrigued by the topic. "How did this all come about then?"
Usually, I liked to skirt around this particular subject, wanting to dive straight into the work and forgo most of the small talk, but I caught the way Jamie’s eyes darted around our quaint little studio. He wasn’t just asking for the sake of it.
"If I'm being truly honest, a lot of stuff happened all at once." I revealed with a soft chuckle, but it lacked any of the mirth I was aiming for as I thought back to my second year of university, the year everything had quite literally turned on its head.
"I was in between jobs and my best mate suggested that I take the Twitter account I already had and turn it into something with a bigger presence. At the time, I had nothing left to lose so I just went for it."
At least, that was the shortened version of it. I’d skipped the mental breakdown, the almost losing my flat, and the birth of my child for the sake of not looking like a total psycho.
Jamie looked impressed or, at the very least, understanding as he nodded along to my words.
"Can't say I regret it now though." I had to tack on and smiled before attempting to trail my way onto a more formal topic. "I got your list by the way- what not to ask and all that. Think one of your lot emailed it to me earlier in the week. But I just wanted to let you both know-”
I let my eyes flit over towards Healy for a brief moment before they settled back on Jamie.
"That you don't have to worry about any of that whilst you're here. We want things to be relaxed, comfortable. I know your team was adamant on everything being a bit more structured, following the lines of an actual interview, but we don't do much of that around here. So I hope you're happy with just having a simple sit down."
"Like this?" Came a reply and I had to pause for a second before realising where the question had come from. Or who, rather.
I settled my mug down on my thigh, loosely supporting it with my hand, and looked over in the direction of Healy.
"A bit, yeah." I confirmed with an incline of my head, "That alright with you?"
The singer was silent for a long second and I couldn't help but take the opportune moment he gave to simply admire the way his fingers had wrapped themselves around his mug, mindlessly tapping away to a hollow tune.
Just when it appeared as though the silence had stretched on a beat too long, and Jamie had begun to shuffle forward ever so slightly in his seat, did Healy finally reply.
"If it's just you, then yes."
I tried not to let the reaction of how I really felt flash across my face then as I stared back at the man opposite.
From the corner of my eye, I could see the way Adi's lips had pursed unhappily in retort and how Jamie’s expression had hardened into a somewhat steely glare, desperate for Matty to spare a glance his way. Probably to scold him for being so painfully rude. But Healy, to my utter disbelief, kept his head firmly fixed towards me, even as he pushed the dark sunglasses he wore up into his curly hair.
It almost felt like we were in a stare off with the way I watched him for any tell that would surely give him away, slowly considering the proposition and not caring to cover up the way I could now stare into the other man’s dark brown eyes unabashedly.
From where I was sat, I could only just make out the darkened circles that rested beneath Healy’s pupils, as well as the red line that rimmed them. Their colour was far from unusual, brown, but his were not something you saw very often, they drew you in, kept you trapped. They harboured a multitude of other colours that blended ruthlessly into an array of raw umber.
As magnetising as they may have felt though, I found that I was mostly grateful to see that Healy’s pupils were of a normal size. The only thing I wanted to question were the walls that were so obviously barricaded behind them, giving me absolutely nothing in return.
"Just me?"
Healy simply stared back.
I couldn’t look Adi’s way when I finally answered the request, simply hoping that she would somehow understand. This felt too much like a test to say anything other than, “Alright. If that’s what you’d prefer.”
I moved to push my mug onto the corner of the coffee table, allowing myself a seconds release from his stare.
“But Adi often controls what goes on behind the scenes when we record, so it’ll be harder without her there, especially with all the cameras.” I explained carefully.
"Look, just hang on a second-" Jamie tried, obviously wanting to defuse the situation, but was ultimately cut off by Healy. It honestly felt as though the man believed neither Jamie nor Adi were a part of the conversation any longer.
"Can you do it?"
His tone was almost challenging, the four words fell from his wicked tongue like a dare.
"Not the type to back down." Was all I could think to retort, my hardened gaze once again zeroed in on Healy's own.
***
The recording booth was smaller than he’d expected. A table sat in the very centre, surrounded by a swarm of cameras and microphones, all of which seemed to be connected to a variety of wires Matty could hardly even bring himself to be cautious of as he stepped past.
The table hosted an array of tech though, from computers and mixing boards to monitors and speakers. None of which Matty was the least bit interested in either.
Three of the four walls were lined with acoustic foam panels, one’s you’d typically find in booths, while the last had been turned into a mural of sorts.
The mural was dark and edgy, a string of trees sprouted up from the ground and swept across the expanse of it, its branches winding upwards only to entangle in one another. A common field mouse sat crouched in between the trunks of the trees, its big eyes shining as it met Matty’s stare head-on. The walls centre held the name of the radio show and at first glance it looked as though it had been printed on one of those acrylic neon signs, but it was actually just extremely detailed.
Matty had to blink once or twice before he was finally able to look away.
"Who's work?" He found himself asking, filling the silence that had settled upon the closing of the booth's door. He jutted his chin out towards the far wall, sparing the art one last glance before he gave the girl his full focus.
Her eyes flitted up to meet his own before they sailed across to the mural.
"A friend." Was all she replied, but her voice had softened a touch now that it was just the two of them, Matty noted.
She offered nothing more than that and so Matty took it for what it was, nodding his quiet assent.
"Do you have anything in particular you'd like to talk about whilst you're here?" Mouse asked him as she clicked away at the computer, he felt strange using the name, even if it was just in his own head. "We've got a good hour or so before Adi comes snooping."
"I've got a million things I'd like to say," Matty let slip as he trailed on closer to the table, then forced a sardonic smile. "But I'm not particularly in the mood for a good tongue lashing today."
She looked slightly startled by his dry joke and Matty found himself having to hold back a smirk as he rounded the desk, fingertips gliding across the table's smooth surface.
"What about you, then?" He posed, not wanting to stunt their talk just as it had begun. Somewhat intrigued now. "Got anything you'd like to get off your chest for millions of people to hear?"
It was sarky, but when was he not? Though if he was being honest, Matty just found that he wanted to hear the girl talk, because for some reason he enjoyed listening to her. Her gentle accent had obviously been weakened during the time she'd spent in London but Matty enjoyed its easy lilt. It was almost soothing. He wondered where she was from, but didn't ask.
Mouse snorted, shaking her head. "Wouldn't quite say millions, a couple thousand at best."
Matty felt his eyebrows raise as he spared another glance over at her, thinking back to those eyes that had held his so solemnly. "What, even with me here?"
He was teasing, but her eyes widened briefly as though she feared she had offended him, but as mentioned, it was only a brief flicker before a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips.
"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see how loyal your fans truly are, Healy."
"Guess so." Matty mocked.
***
The show had gotten off to a rocky start. I had been all too aware of the surrounding cameras and the way the menacing rockstar, sat centimetres away from me, liked to keep his stare fixed firmly on me at all times, following my each and every movement.
I couldn't quite help the way I shifted uncomfortably every time I looked up and caught Healy's eye either, or the way I’d chosen to angle my face away from the cameras to avoid looking directly into any lenses.
I was dead crap when it came down to things like this. It all became too much, the pressure to entertain, to pretend that I was fine, that I was comfortable in my own skin, to chat away like there weren't already a thousand eyes studying my every flaw.
Look, give me a microphone and any sodding topic that either pissed me off or positively enthralled me and I'd be happy to rant the ears off of any nutter willing to listen. But in scenarios such as these, I always felt slightly on edge. Teetering on the verge of falling right on over it.
‘Cause I knew what people saw when they looked at me. I was all too familiar with the pitying glance I often got spared, as well as the grimaces people couldn’t seem to hide when they walked by.
I’d had to deal with it for years. Ever since I was a kid.
And upon hearing that, anyone would probably figure that I might’ve gotten used to all the gawking by now, especially with a toddler constantly keeping me on my toes. But ultimately my son’s presence often appeared to exaggerate the mixed reactions I received.
In truth, I’d never really been given the time to come to terms with the scars that marred my body, my face. The white lines that spoiled the features underneath.
So claiming it to be a rocky start, would only put a dent about the size of a pea into the way I was currently feeling!
Healy was rather unhelpful too, just as I’d predicted. He seemed to almost get off on watching me writhe under his leer and his answers to the questions or topics brought up were half-hearted at best.
Really, I was beginning to doubt the way in which I’d figured this entire mess would end.
It was only supposed to be a quick and easy chat, the two of us sat there gossiping like old mates, proving to the rest of the world that there really was no animosity or underlying conspiracies to this whole setup. When in actuality, that really wasn't the case.
Time and time again I found myself questioning why exactly Healy had even bothered to come, why he had even agreed to the whole ordeal in the first place. Especially when he was so apathetic with his replies.
"So," I trailed off, somewhat desperate to save what was left of the segment- for my sake at the very least. I didn't even want to think of what sort of issues this would cause for the show. "Music! I mean, from an outsider's point of view, we never really got the whole backstory on how you and the rest of the band really met. I mean, you’ve said you started it in secondary school, but you yourself were kind of pushed into the limelight at a really young age, so how did you and the guys connect?”
Healy tensed at that particular question, his shoulders forming a more rigid line as his gaze flickered away from me for only the briefest of seconds before it returned, but it was enough to alert me to the fact that I was treading into murky waters. I tried to backtrack.
"But in all honesty, what I really want to know about are all the sordid details, life after all that crap, the answers to the things people never think to ask. Like, I've seen pictures of your clearly extensive guitar collection all over your Instagram feed, you must have a favourite!"
Matty's lips curled into something which almost resembled a smile then and it honest to God threw me through a loop. A metaphorical loop, of course, I wasn't quite sure if we could fit any sort of loop-like shape into a space this small.
But I was letting myself get sidetracked and couldn't help but question whether that was the sort of thing Healy typically thrived off of. He’d smiled, and nothing wicked or sarky had tinged it, it’d been a genuine smile. And I had to blink just to make sure my eyes hadn't been playing tricks on me as Healy edged forward in his seat, a coy grin now dancing at the corners of his muted pink lips.
"A favourite? Now that's the question to ask! Honestly? It'll have to be the '63 Jazzmaster I've got. It’s wicked, used by the Ramones on their debut album and then by David Byrne on early Syre demos. So it’s seen quite a bit."
After that, I just sat there. Stunned as Healy continued to rant about this poxy guitar he was so obviously smitten with and couldn't help but be utterly captivated by each and every word that slipped from his mouth.
Apparently all I had ever needed to get past the games and ginormous walls Healy had defensively built around himself was to simply be myself. Ask the questions that maybe only I wanted to know the answers to.
See, I wasn't the biggest people person but I figured myself to be somewhat of a skilful conversationalist. What with my past, I’d kind of had to force myself to be. But I was glad to have finally been given an in with Healy, no matter how small. It helped the interview pass by a lot easier.
Although the new spirit Healy adopted after that only seemed to last until nearing the very end of the show.
In truth, I had all but forgotten about the cameras and microphones set up, the fact that people were still listening in, were watching us converse, whilst I simply lost myself in listening to Healy prattle away. Positively enraptured by the way the musician's mind worked as he explained the complexity of a certain riff he adored, or the time he'd pretended to get off in Madison Square Garden- much to the dismay of his PR Team.
"They went absolutely mental when I first proposed it. I'm telling you! Yapping about time and effort, and it being too much for the younger viewers, then the plans that would have to be put into place- all that merry shite. And I’d just been sitting there in these, these skimpy leather trousers, quietly debating over when, or if I'd ever, get the feeling back in my legs. And don't even get me started on my knob. I mean, it must've shrivelled up and die- hang on, I can say knob, right? On air?"
Looking at him in that moment, forgetting everything I already knew, it was like I was seeing this whole other person. Someone who wasn't so confrontational, so quick to defend, or easy to recoil.
It was clear, to me at least, that Healy wasn't the image the media painted of him, he was simply human. A troubled man who truly loved music, in every sort of variety, and wanted to vocalise and share that love with everyone else. He was eccentric for sure, but sincere.
I could see that, even if it only felt like I'd only been given the tiniest bit of insight into the person Healy so obviously tried to keep concealed.
It wasn't long later when I startled somewhat upon seeing the flashing red light of one of our cameras go off to my left and immediately, I jolted upright in my seat.
"God- crap!" I blurted out stupidly as I grabbed at the headset that had threatened to fall off my head in my sudden haste. "Hold on. Sorry, got really sidetracked there- one of the camera's is telling me it's on its last legs, so we'd best start wrapping this up."
Healy deflated ever so visibly, shrinking back in his seat as he huffed a soundless chuckle.
"Can't seem to stop me once I get going." Healy widened his eyes to emphasise his point and I observed how he had hastily retreated back into himself to haul his guard up again.
I was quick to shake my head. "No, truthfully I can't remember the last time I just got to sit here and listen. It was nice not having to do all the work for once."
Matty licked at his top lip upon hearing that and rewarded me with another mirthful smirk. I realised I'd properly put my foot in it there, stressing over why I’d even worded it like that.
Whilst he chuckled to himself at the picture I must’ve made, I decided my best bet was to hurry on and end the show, reciting what needed to be said before I finally signed off, clicking a button.
It was just as the 'ON AIR' sign above the door went off that Adi barged straight through the entrance, gracing us with her wonderful presence. Jamie was just behind her, peeking his head around the doorframe.
"Well I think I can say that that went as well as it could’ve!" He announced, coming to a standstill by Matty as he clapped his client heartily on the back. "Well done, Matt. You as well, Mouse."
"Appreciate it." I smiled up at him before tugging off my headphones and pushing away the mic.
With all four of us now crowded into the makeshift room, the booth suddenly felt a lot smaller than it usually did, and so I tried my best to disguise the way my body immediately reacted to the realisation.
"I'm in dire need of a fag though. Will you be alright tidying up in here, Ads?" I announced as I pulled myself up onto my feet, already beginning to shuffle towards the exit. I picked up the cardigan I'd left on the back of one of the chairs as I went, using it as a shield almost.
"Yeah, of course. Glasses here wanted to discuss one more thing before they made a move anyway."
I shot an arched brow at the man in question but Jamie waved my curiosity off. "Nothing too detailed. Just some forms that need signing."
I didn't much like the part of the arrangement that came after recording, but with an understanding ‘Ah’, I forced myself to ask, "Erm, don't suppose you need me to stick around for any of that do you?"
"Nah," Jamie laughed lightly, "Go on, you're all good."
I smiled, silently praising the stars above as I nodded once and resumed my exit, tugging the cardi on as I hastily made my way over to the fire escape.
Praying that our luck hadn’t run out just yet, I hoped that no one else was up on the roof waiting for me when I pulled my feet up the rickety metal staircase. It was just about the last thing I needed at that moment.
I already had my lighter in hand by the time I'd made it over to our little makeshift patio we’d created, which consisted of a few wooden pallets and a couple of large cushions that overlooked the neighbouring buildings.
It wasn't much, Islington. It was inner London sure, and had its fair few classier joints to show off, but I much preferred what else it had to offer. Like how the hustle and bustle of the city quietened just as you lost yourself down the backroads. And all the parks that had been scattered in and around the main developments and the dozens and dozens of buildings that were constantly cropping up. How there was a pub on almost every street corner and a Sainsbury's never too far away. I even enjoyed the gentle rattle of the overground, it was all too familiar now. Felt more like home than the Isles ever had.
Looking out across the surrounding rooftops, I wondered again just why my mum had yet to leave our tiny town as I lit a cigarette and lifted the filter to my lips.
The first chance my father ever got he’d gone running for the hills and then me, myself, had upped and left the confines of our small cottage as soon as the offer had presented itself.
It wasn't that the harbour town I'd grown up in had nothing to offer. It had a sense of community, a beautiful shoreline (even in the colder months), and of course, the local rugby team.
But speaking in a manner of careers, well, unless you were breaking out on your own and had the cash to open up a shop on the high-street, then you were probably destined to either work in the local greengrocers, serve behind the village bar, or get a shift down by the docks.
You were lucky if you had a bit more meat on your bones though, because then you also had the added opportunity of getting an offer to start laying bricks for one of the few building companies. Most of which were family based.
We had the main school too which housed both primary and secondary kids, and the local college was available if you wanted to further your education. But the closest University campus was a good hundred miles away.
I had applied, but only to lessen the guilt I'd felt towards my mother when I'd started looking for courses available in just about any place apart from home whilst filling out uni apps.
I could still recall the day I’d finally told her I'd be leaving for London. Felt like a lifetime ago now really.
I'd definitely have to call her up again soon, to make sure that she was doing okay, even if it meant that I'd be forced to listen to her rattle on about coming home for Christmas. Again.
I sighed contently to myself and it was just as I flicked away a stump of ash that I heard someone approach.
#the 1975#fic#matty healy#angst#radio host#reader#x reader#x you#george daniel#ross macdonald#the 1975 band#adam hann#fluff#humour#matty healy fic#matty 1975#matty healy x reader#matty x reader#matty healy x you#ao3#pining#fame#strangers to lovers#mum reader#kid fic#getting together#SLOWBURN#mutual pining#Warnings#aipoban
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Hiii! So I was reading your voicelines and I was wondering if I could maybe very kindly ask for some yoru lines?
Valorant Voiceline Headcanons V2
(Yoru, Sova, Viper, Sage)
CW : Killing, Pet Names, GN!Reader
A/N : OFC!! I decided to add more agents as well, enjoy!
Link to the first one here!
Yoru :
Y/N is on the team -
“Y/N? I didn’t know you were coming. Well this definitely makes things more interesting…”
OR
“Y/N the first one to get a kill wins. Loser has to buy dinner.”
Y/N aces -
“They didn’t even see it coming.. Good. They deserved it.”
Y/N dies to the enemy Phoenix -
“That prick.. You think you can mess with my partner? You’ve pissed me off..”
Y/N assists in Yoru’s kill -
“You know I didn’t need help. Don’t think I owe you one.. I’m still watching your back though.”
Sova :
Y/N is on the team -
“My owl! I am so excited for us to work together. It is a blessing to be with you.”
Y/N aces -
“You are unstoppable, sweet feather! You have to be the best shot in the world!”
Y/N gets a kill on a drone tagged opponent -
“My eyes and your talents are put to use! We are ruthless!”
Y/N is bottomfragging -
“Dont you worry. You will only grow from here my dove.”
Viper :
Y/N is on the team -
“With you here this will be easy. Stick to our plan and we will be out of here in no time, my little snake.”
Y/N aces -
“Great work. I knew you had it in you, keep it up.”
OR
“Oh my… The venom in your eyes is beautiful.”
Viper’s Venom hurts Y/N -
“My beloved! That wasn’t meant for you!”
Y/N clutched last round -
“Amazing work. I’ll buy us drinks after - you deserve one.”
Sage :
Y/N is on the team -
“My heart, you will help me to turn the tide. I will be with you the whole time, don’t be afraid.”
Y/N aces -
“You are a master of war Y/N! Most impressive display.. You fill me with pride.”
Sage rezzes Y/N -
“I cannot lose you. Please, come back.”
OR
“They will pay. Exact your vengeance my love.”
Sage heals Y/N -
“Take this, I can’t bear to see you in pain. Come to me again if you get hurt.”
#valorant#valorant x reader#valorant x you#valorant imagines#valorant headcanons#yoru x you#yoru x reader#yoru#yoru valorant#sova x reader#sova valorant#valorant sova#sova#valorant viper#viper#viper x reader#viper x you#sage#sage Valorant#sage x reader#sage x you
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Hot Chocolate: Alden Parker x Reader
Part of @storiesofsvu Holiday Bingo! The square was 1st Snowfall!
Warning: Mentions of sex but nothing too graphic.
Tagging: @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @withakindheartx @mandy426 @sarakafarrah
You’re standing by the window when Alden finds you, your shoulder resting against the frame as you look out across the naval yard watching the first snowfall of the year. It’s a beautiful sight, the dimmed lights casting a glow upon your skin, your eyes bright as your gaze shifts to him. You’re wearing that sage coloured blazer, the one that reminds him of spring. He remembers peeling it off your shoulders a couple of nights ago, letting it fall to the floor before he’d undressed the rest of you.
He'd made love to you for the first time that night, his practiced hands caressing your bare skin as you keened into his mouth. He’d spent the night chasing your pleasure, drawing it out until you were on the precipice before starting all over again.
“Tease.” You had accused him, your skin flushing that pretty shade of pink.
He’d smiled as he looked into those wild eyes of yours, his thumb chasing over the pert shape of your mouth.
“I always suspected you were a little impatient.” He whispered into the darkness.
You’d laughed before hooking your ankle under the curve of his ass and drawing him even deeper. He’d moaned into your mouth because the sensation of being with you, it ruined him. He thinks he falls in love with you in that moment. You’re a woman who knows exactly what she wants, and Alden liked that. Christ, he liked everything about you.
“You come here often?” He asks you as he presses a mug of hot chocolate into your hands.
It’s long past midnight, the two of you are the only ones left in the building. You look down at the drink and smile because he’s added all the good stuff. Whipped cream, marshmallows, a sprinkling of cocoa powder. You take a sip, and the taste of caramel fills your mouth. You make a noise of appreciation because this man, he knows what you like and in a way that’s part of the problem.
“I wanted to apologise for the other night.” He says, his voice lowering an octave as he leans in close. The scent of his aftershave clings to his skin. It’s woody and fresh with a hint of citrus and it takes you back to the other night when he’d fucked you so good, you’d seen stars when you’d climaxed. “I don’t like the way that I left.”
He means the fact he slipped out from underneath your sheets in the middle of the night without so much as a word. You’d woken up naked and alone, no Alden in sight. It hurt but you were a big girl, you tried not to take it personally.
You shrug your shoulders, feigning indifference before turning your attention to the snowfall outside. It’s starting to come down thick and fast, there’s already a thin layer carpeting the parking lot below.
“It was just one night, right?” You say, clasping the mug of hot chocolate to your chest. “A way of blowing off steam.”
“Is that what you think?” Alden asked you, his eyebrows furrowing. “That it didn’t mean anything?”
“You tell me.” You say meeting his gaze.
He can see the pain in your eyes, and it wounds him because he never meant to treat you like you were disposable, like you were some girl he could just fuck and walk away from. You are far more than that. You’re the woman he laughs with, the one he confides in. He thinks you might just be the only one who understands him.
“The reason I left that night? It was because Torres called. He’s been on an undercover assignment, he sounded…” He trials off, setting the remains of his hot chocolate down on the windowsill before he crosses his arms over his chest. “It sounded like he was struggling, I had to go out and meet him.”
You’ve been there, you have an open-door policy in your department because the work you do, it can fuck with you. You’ve been called out of bed at three in the morning before because one of your agents had had their head so turned around by a case, they couldn’t function.
“Is he ok?” You ask Alden.
One of the things you love about him is his compassion, the way it’s given so freely. He’s been with his team for only a small pocket of time but they’re his family and he will go to the ends of the earth for any one of them.
“He is now.” Alden sighs. “It’s taken a little while to extract him safely hence why I’ve been a little tied up over the past few days. I know I still could have texted, but I felt this deserved more of a conversation.”
You set your mug down alongside his on the windowsill, your fingertips adjusting both mugs until their both uniformly sitting together, handles out. Alden watches, a small smile tipping at the edges of his mouth. He’s noticed that you do this, you’re a little OCD sometimes, you like things ordered, neat.
He reaches out for your hand, capturing it in his.
“I like you.” He tells you, ducking his head so that his warm eyes meet yours. “I think the two of us could have something special. I know I messed up, but I’d like to make it up to you. A little dinner, a little dancing…”
“Pastries in the morning, the good coffee?” You negotiate, your fingertips trailing over the lapels of his suit jacket. The scent of your perfume floods his system, something dark and sensual. It reminds him of the other night, the feel of your skin underneath his lips, your hands in his hair as he made you moan his name.
“Breakfast in bed.” He counters. His palms come to rest upon your hips, and you lean in close, giving him that smile, the one that lights up something deep down inside of him.
“Take me home Alden.” You whisper, your lips brushing over his. “I think I have another way you can make it up to me.”
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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee
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#9 for soft prompts with Ravioli I am WEAK for shoulder kisses 😍
Shoulder kisses are so so good I agree! There are mouth and cheek kisses in this as well as the requested shoulder kisses. I’m sincerely hoping that’s ok! If you’re not comfy reading that though I’ll gladly take another go. Written as a direct followup to this! From this soft prompts list.
Fandom: A Link Between Worlds
Pairing: Link/Ravio
Other tags: kissing, new relationship
Wordcount: 1113
Ugh. Well. That could have gone better.
Could also have been worse! But it could have gone better.
Once again, Link staggered home. No broken bones or openly weeping wounds this time, thankfully. The burst of life magic released when those especially large monsters died always took care of all of that.
No, Link was just tired. Exhausted, really.
He maybe hadn’t given himself quite enough time to recover after that fever.
But it didn’t matter. One more monster gone. One more Sage free of Yuga’s entrapping spell.
One more thing Link had to do before he could allow himself a little rest.
He hit the front door at the same brisk pace he’d used all the way home, stepping over the doorsill and dropping his pack to the floor without slowing.
Ravio jumped at the sudden bang of the door slamming open, squeaked when Link kept walking straight forward and faceplanted in his shoulder.
“Mr Hero! You’re home! Oh, what’s wrong this time?” He patted Link down as if searching for injury.
“Nothing,” Link muttered. “I missed you.”
“Oh!” Obviously still a little startled - Link could perhaps have entered his home with a bit more grace and a bit less steely determination written over his face - Ravio returned the embrace regardless.
It felt a little easier, the second time. A little less hesitant, a little more sure of his welcome.
“I missed you too,” Ravio returned after a long pause wherein Link breathed, trying to gather his famed courage. He maybe shouldn’t be hanging all over Ravio like this, but he couldn’t bring himself to move now that he was finally here.
He’d had a little speech all figured out. Been practicing it all through that dungeon, to the point of almost lethal distraction, at which point he’d finally forced himself to focus and just finish the thing so he could get back home already.
Except now he couldn’t quite remember the neat, tidy little way he’d figured out to ask exactly what Ravio meant by the word fond.
This shoulder under his cheek sure was nice, though.
“Mr Hero!” Ravio’s yelp startled Link to enough awareness to realize he was perhaps leaning a little too hard.
He might be more tired than he’d thought.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, getting a little more of his feet back under him. He didn’t lift his head, though. Or unwind his arms from where they’d found themselves around Ravio’s waist. They fit remarkably well.
“Maybe you should go to bed?” Came the tentative suggestion.
Link made a disagreeable noise. There was something he’d wanted to do first… something he had to ask…
“I’ve been thinking,” he slurred into the scarf. Exhaustion made his head spin. He felt almost giddy, but that wasn’t right. He still had to ask a question.
“About?”
“About what ‘fond’ means.”
“Don’t go expecting discounts!” Ravio declared, despite that he’d given Link exactly that the very first time Link purchased something from him outright. “I still have a business to run!”
Link snorted.
What was it he’d meant to say next?
“Can I kiss you?”
Hm. That wasn’t it.
Wait.
Pulse suddenly pounding in his ears, a great rushing in every extremity, Link jerked up. Ravio’s arms tightened, keeping him from going too far. “I mean. Uh.” He’d had something better to say what was it, what was it–. “I missed you?”
“You already said that. I missed you too. Go back to the other thing.” Every hint of cheer and nervousness that usually colored the way Ravio spoke disappeared in favor of what sounded like complete seriousness.
“That’s not. You don’t have to– I mean, I’d be happy if fond just meant you wanted to, to. Just be friends. Or.” He’d had an entire dialogue prepared, and he was ripping it to absolute shreds along with any possible chance.
“Yes.”
Or not.
“Yes?”
“Yes.” Intent. That was the word. Ravio sounded intent.
Heart still pounding, Link turned his head and kissed Ravio’s cheek through his hood.
He lingered. Just for a moment. Just long enough for it to register what the action was. Then he pulled away, loosened his arms, giving Ravio space to move back if he wanted.
Ravio looked at him. Link had no idea what kind of expression lay under that hood.
A little tentative, feeling suddenly shy, Link curled back down to Ravio’s shoulder.
Ravio’s hands cupped his face, pulling him up. He yanked his hood back just enough to kiss Link squarely on the mouth.
This one lasted much, much longer.
~~~
Ravio’s bustling in the kitchen woke Link earlier than he would have preferred the next morning, as it usually did. Today, the soft clattering of dishware and cutlery didn’t seem quite so harsh on his ears. Link spent a little while listening to the happy little hums that he’d begun to associate with the smell of food being prepared.
Eventually collecting himself enough to get up, he padded across the floor on near silent feet and wrapped his arms around Ravio from behind.
“Good morning, Mr Hero!”
Link hummed.
Ravio had his hood on already, but not the scarf. Link pressed his mouth to a place midway down his shoulder that the scarf would usually cover.
Ravio’s head tipped over onto his, one hand coming up to press Link’s face against himself. “I made breakfast!” he declared, cheery voice at full volume despite the closeness and the early hour.
“Sounds good.”
Link didn’t move. Ravio didn’t either.
Link shifted his mouth a little to the left and kissed the new spot. Then a little more, making Ravio squirm and finally laugh when his lips found that narrow little strip of bare skin.
Ravio’s shoulder, Link decided, might just be his new favorite spot.
“Do you want breakfast or not?”
“Is there tea?”
“Of course!” Ravio sounded downright affronted, as if serving breakfast without tea were an insult of the highest order.
“I’ll take tea and a kiss,” he said, hopeful.
Ravio squirmed out of his arms, but he turned around and pulled Link against himself instead, leaning back against the counter. Link wrapped his arms around Ravio in return. They still fit just right. “You were ill only a week ago, and you just ran off to fight some horrid monster! Recovering heroes need a proper breakfast!”
“They need kisses, too.”
“Breakfast first. Then kisses,” Ravio relented. “But don’t take too long! I have a shop to run!”
Happy with this arrangement, Link dropped one last kiss on the shoulder beneath his chin and pulled away to drop into his spot at the table.
Breakfast was nearly as delicious as the kisses that followed it.
#i'll post this part to ao3 eventually as well#just gonna give it a night and check it again in the morning first#albw#my fic#ravioli#ravio#link
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In a different view
this is a continuation of Faded Away, but in a different POV, Sebek's side of the story. If you have not read Faded Away, please do so now by clicking HERE.
Summary: Sebek was always by their side. Watching as they went about life as the supposed future heir of the Draconia family, betrothed to Malleus. While he was used to watching, he could not help but wish acting was part of his role as well.
Pronouns: Gender Neutral
POV: 2nd
Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️
Tags: Sebek Zigvolt, Angst, Romance, Angst without a happy ending, Hurt, Hurt no comfort, a continuation
Word count: 3,408
A/N: Please please PLEASE read the previous Malleus fic first if you wish to get the full context. While it is not needed, it does add a bit more to this story and why everything turned out the way it did, and why Sebek's POV is so important!
Thank you and enjoy!
He had mixed business with personal feelings. As a retainer for Malleus, he had to stay out of the way, but he couldn’t. You were so gorgeous to him, but he could never admit that. At least, not openly. He had always heard about you and your wonderful personality from Malleus, even his master being subtly mesmerized by your memory. He’d never seen this side of his idol before, which only made him curious about who you were, and he would find out.
You were happy to be around the castle during the springtime, especially in Malleus’ rose garden. The flowers and warm sun mixed with the cool air were some of the best parts of the season. You heard grass crunch from just a few meters away, and it caused you to turn around. You were met with a pair of sage green eyes.
The boy stood there in surprise, frozen in place with his hands to his sides. “It’s not what you think. I wasn’t following you—”
“Sebek, right?” You asked, smiling and looking confident in your answer. You hadn’t met all of Malleus’ main guards, but you were familiar with their names. “I hope I’m right. I was told Silver was named as such due to his hair, but you’re the half-human, half-fae Sebek Zigvolt.”
Sebek stood in place. He couldn’t look away from you. Your smile was as bright as the sky, and the flowers couldn’t compare to how you looked natural in this setting. “You’re correct. I–I apologize for not introducing myself sooner.”
You shook your head and laughed reassuringly. “There’s no need. I haven’t been outside as much as I want to. I’ve been spending most of my time in Malleus’ study or in my own home,” you said, approaching him and bowing slightly.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Malleus’ fiance,” you said warmly, your radiance never faltering. That glow around you made him more curious. He needed another moment with you, even for 5 minutes, to find out more.
Whenever he could, he’d talk to you and learn more about you. In the beginning, his conversations with you meant nothing. Although, the more you talked, the longer he would see you. The longer he saw you, the more he understood why his master was so hellbent on keeping you by his side.
Sebek gave it some thought—it made no sense to him. He would wake up and long for a way to look at you, talk to you, or just be in your presence. He wanted to be acknowledged by you, but one question would deter his mind into a questionable state.
One day, you were standing with Sebek in the kitchen. Your hands worked on a dish to present to Malleus as a belated birthday celebration. You knew that Malleus didn’t like big cakes, but you never knew the reason. You were decorating a cupcake instead, and you decided to make a homemade pint of ice cream.
You remembered Malleus talking about how the cooling sensation felt nice against his fire-breathing mouth. It was common for you to bring him ice cream every weekend when you two were children. You decided on mint, not only because it was cooling but because its greenish-teal color reminded you of your fiance.
Sebek was there to watch and help you in your task. He watched how you handled everything with care and precision. His eyes drank in the way you squeezed the piping bag with gentle hands; the way your own eyes lit up when you finished icing the cupcake; the way you placed the glass bowl down with your pinky cushioning its descent.
“I think Prince Malleus will enjoy this a lot,” he commented in a soft tone, which was unusual. Before you responded, the door to the kitchen opened.
“Enjoy what a lot?” Said the voice, and your gaze darted to Malleus who approached the counter with curiosity. “Oh—”
Sebek would look at you and instantly see you brighten at the sight of Malleus. “Malleus! Ugh, you couldn’t have stayed away from the kitchen until later?” You whined, giving a playful pout.
“Now, why would I have to be restricted from visiting my own kitchen?” Malleus responded, then stopped when he saw the cupcake. “Hm? Who’s that for?”
You sighed and presented the small plate to him. The cupcake was chocolate with white and green icing, then black sprinkles. You had a cheeky smile on your face and tilted your head. “If you would have waited like I wished, I could’ve brought both gifts to your study. Belated happy birthday.”
“Both gifts?” He asked, taking the dish from your hands. He knew you wanted to celebrate his birthday that you had missed, but he didn’t think it would be so simple.
You looked at Sebek and smiled. The expression snapped the boy out of his trance, watching how you and Malleus interacted. Sebek simply nodded and took out a pint-sized container. After that, he would move back and stand guard. You and Malleus were peaceful, making the moment playful by spreading ice cream and icing on each other’s faces.
His eyes took in every detail of your expressions, laugh, and playful attitude. He could never make you feel that way. How could he ever compare his love to the love you feel for Malleus?
How could he want his master’s praise when he became infatuated with you?
Sebek had no reason to deny his feelings. He disliked humans for their weakness, but you were a fae who endured becoming a mere pawn in a game of a predestined life. You never complained, not when he knew that you loved Malleus so much. Your love for him only grew more prominent every day.
It was wrong. This was his future king’s lifelong partner.
That’s why it was so surprising to watch it all crumble before him. He tried to call you from down the hall. Seeing you aimlessly amble without your usual radiance was concerning for him. You acted fine when he greeted you moments ago, but you looked pale and dull—like you had witnessed something horrifying.
He slowly followed you out of the castle to ensure you were alright. He froze, eyes slightly widening when you suddenly collapsed in the snowy forest.
You were crying. Why? What could make someone as strong as you cry? Your shrill, gut-wrenching screams made the birds in the trees fly away from fright. What happened? You always noticed his presence, but you couldn’t even look at him this time.
Your body hunched over as your bare fingers dug into the snow-covered ground. Malleus told him how much the first snow meant to you, even advising him and Silver about not bothering you when the dust would begin to fall.
What could he even do this time? He wanted to help, but he couldn’t disobey his master. He felt weak, like a human.
Screw this.
Before he realized it, Sebek brought you back up as gently as possible. He was still bewildered, not knowing what was okay to do now. He never had to comfort someone before, and he was usually abrasive with others, but he couldn’t be that way with you. Your eyes landed on him, then your hands clung to his clothes. He understood that you just needed a shoulder to cry on. He didn’t know what else to do, so he carried you to a safe place to relieve your sorrows.
When you calmed down, Sebek sat at a distance from you and waited. Waited as quietly as he could. Once you had a steady breathing pattern, he finally spoke.
“Why were you acting that way?”
You could only look up at Sebek with gloomy eyes, taking a deep breath to explain how Maleficia called off the engagement; how Malleus protested against the queen about having to marry another. You explained to him how you accepted it without a complaint and with a smile.
“He always rejected me, anyway. Maybe his new fiance will change him.”
Sebek was met with doubt. He was dumbfounded at what he was told. Speechless, even. He felt guilty, but he left you alone to rest in his bed for the night and even left you a change of clothing after your bath.
You could only appreciate his kindness and bid him a good night. “May the Seven be with you, Sebek.”
After a few days, Sebek stood before the doors to Malleus’ study, contemplating whether to talk about what he had been told. He thought about it, vividly remembering your tear-stained face. He felt guilty once again. He secretly enjoyed having you cry in his bed and talk to him about the situation these past few days. He wanted you in his arms again. He wanted you to need him for comfort.
“What am I even doing?” He asked himself. He had every reason to. Since he became a retainer for Malleus, he never doubted or went against his master. It amazed him just how much a person can change because of another, someone loved and cared for.
Sigh.
Enough stalling. He had to talk to Malleus. Sebek opened the door, yet he instantly stopped at the sight of Malleus, Maleficia, and the rulers of another kingdom gathered together.
There was another woman. Why did this woman feel familiar, yet so foreign?
His master was on one knee and holding the hand of that woman. The green eyes of the master he adored met Sebek’s own. All he could do was stare at her, whose hand was held by Malleus as if he were proposing. That wasn’t what caught Sebek’s attention, though.
She was standing and smiling like you. Her eyes sparkled like yours. Her beauty was mesmerizing, but she wasn’t you in the slightest.
Was disbelief even the right word?
Just days ago, he learned about Maleficia forcing Malleus into a different marriage, leaving you to fend for yourself despite being his fiance since childhood. Now, there he was, already starting to forget about you.
“Sebek,” Malleus spoke, curious as to why his retainer suddenly arrived. “Is something the matter?”
Sebek jumped at hearing his name be called, snapping him out of his trance. He looked at his master and instead put on a focused look, bowing his head. “No, Prince Malleus. I simply wanted to speak to you, but I shall wait.”
“No need. Whatever you have to say to me,” Malleus paused, looking at the family before him with a smile, “you can say it in front of them as well. They’ll be part of this lineage soon.”
Sebek’s eyes widened. He accepted the change? “I cannot. I apologize. Excuse me,” he said, leaving before hearing anything else.
It took months before Sebek could speak to Malleus, but the engagement was known, and the wedding was less than 24 hours away from now.
Sebek stood outside in the courtyard, just behind Malleus, as he watched his master lean back against a stone pillar. Malleus would look up at the stars in the night. The pillar was the last place he spent time with you, and the last time he would ever see you.
Sebek took a breath and stayed at ease, noticing how Malleus looked content and calm. How could he even look like that? Sebek would take his expressions as one of a man in love. Assuming that his master was in love with his new fiance, that is.
“Master Malleus,” Sebek blurted out, getting restless from the silence.
“How are they?” Malleus asked, still staring up at the night sky. Malleus stayed calm, but that contentedness didn’t last long. He grew slightly somber, still guilty from the events of months prior to the present day.
The half-fae was surprised, but he didn’t show it much. Instead, Sebek looked at the ground, fully letting go of his demeanor as royal guard, and spoke to Malleus as his friend.
“Not good. I can’t even fathom the events that have transpired. I learned what it means to be someone’s support due to the circumstances.”
“I see…” Malleus whispers, then he looks at Sebek. “It’s hurting you to see them this way, right? Believe me, I did not choose this.”
“I know. I am fully aware. I was told vague details, but it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together. Did you fight for them?” Sebek asked, looking at Malleus after.
“I did. They decided to accept the change, even after I pleaded.”
“That didn’t mean you should’ve given up.”
Malleus began to chuckle, and then it turned into a laugh. Sebek was surprised once again, confused about why the hell he was laughing.
“Give up?” Malleus started, still laughing but only speaking again after being able to calm down. “I never wanted that. You don’t know what I wanted.”
Sebek grew irritated but he kept his composure, needing a damn answer. “Then, what did you want?”
Malleus leaned against the stone pillar and took a deep breath, not wanting to erupt into an outburst. "I wanted everything. They were my everything for so long. I never asked for things in life, but they were the only person I had always wanted to stay with."
"You can still say something. The wedding is tomorrow. Why won't you say something!? Are you so fond of your future wife that you want to push them away as if they didn't exist—!"
"What do you know!? I am haunted by my future wife. She acts just like them!” Malleus yelled, sounding frustrated.
“She has the same mannerisms, and moves just as elegantly as they did... But my bride is not them. I can't have them. To protect you all, I have to let go of them."
"Screw protecting us!” Sebek yelled back, getting closer to Malleus, his mind going into overdrive. “We are here to protect you, not the other way around!"
"No! I will not put this kingdom through war.” Malleus was stern and cold, different than he had ever been before. “Why are you trying to push them to me? You're only hurting your own heart, Sebek."
Sebek was shocked. This Malleus was not the one the boy had idolized for years. This love was turning the people he cared for most into strangers. "What do you mean?"
"Look at me and tell me you are not in love with my past lover. That is why you wish to fix this. If they are not happy, you are not happy either. I know that exact feeling,” Malleus stated, oddly confident about his words.
He did know that exact feeling. Sebek could see it, too. The eyes showed a lot of emotion and, as Sebek kept eye contact with his master, he could see the sorrow and regret behind the darkness of those once bright green eyes.
Sebek had to choose his words carefully. He could see how one more push could send Malleus’ over the edge. "Even if that is the case, they love you, Malleus. Not me, but you. My love for them will never compare to the love they have harbored for years with you. Do you not feel the same?"
Malleus stayed quiet. He needed to think. He had to reject everything. "I cannot love someone that is no longer mine. That is the truth,” he said, then they both heard footsteps against the concrete path.
They turned around and saw you there. Malleus was surprised at the sight of your figure coming closer. “You—”
“I wish to no longer see any conflict in regards to this situation,” you said softly, then you looked at Sebek.
“Thank you for trying to fight for me. I do not think it is necessary to do so now. It is pointless. Your words and breath are wasted in a situation that cannot be changed.”
“But—”
“Prince Malleus,” you whisper, cutting Sebek off to look at the draconic fae beside you. “Do remember that your bride is moving into the castle a few days after the wedding.”
Malleus went silent at the mention of his fiance. His heart was hurting in a bothersome way. Why couldn’t he love you? He hated this, but he had a kingdom to take care of.
“As for myself,” you started, still staring at Malleus, “I am fine. No need to worry about me. We have done everything together since we were small children. I have loved you with every fiber of my being without fail. If you love me the same, you will marry your bride tomorrow and—”
Sebek’s eyes widened in the middle of the silence. Do his eyes deceive him?
Malleus was kissing the person Sebek loved so much. Malleus is getting married tomorrow, but he was kissing you in the same spot that changed everything that day. Your own eyes were shocked but soon closed to enjoy the sensation, your body as still as a statue.
Malleus held your waist close to him to keep you there. His lips were firmly pressed against yours, and he wouldn’t let go for a while. Sebek couldn’t look away from the scene in front of him. He had been able to endure everything.
Not being loved by you. Not being able to make you smile or laugh. The pain was creeping up on him, witnessing the love you and Malleus had for one another despite the situation left him shattered. He felt bad for you. He could see that this was the only time this would happen. So, out of respect, he looked away.
Not only out of respect but to spare himself the pain of watching any longer.
Once Malleus pulled away, you opened your eyes and blurted out the next words that came to your mind, “I will not go to your wedding. I will spare myself that pain. I won’t lose you if I don’t witness you leave. As long as I believe you chose to leave and haven’t left my grasp, then I will be fine.”
Malleus let out a chuckle and let you go. “Good. Then, as long as you don’t see me giving myself away, I’m still truly yours.”
You nodded in agreement and bowed your head, then looked at Sebek. “Then, this is goodbye. No—that’s too bitter,” you said playfully, looking at Malleus again and taking his hand one last time.
“It is simply ‘see you later’,” Sebek responded, looking at the two of you with a small smile. “Good luck.”
You nodded again and let go of Malleus’ hand before walking away. Your smile dropped once they could no longer see your face.
After a couple of years, Malleus’ coronation was successful, and Sebek was looking around for his master around the ballroom floor. After a few minutes of searching, he only found Malleus on the balcony, but he was with you. You came to the coronation.
Sebek watched as you and Malleus stared into each other’s eyes, the obvious longing for one another still present. He noticed how you looked so different. Your eyes that sparkled were dull before, but they sparkled like stars once you set your eyes on the new king.
You were angelic and carefree to Sebek. He liked all sides of you, but this one only hurt him.
“You were a wonderful experience.”
Sebek heard Malleus speak, but then he quickly had to hide when someone called for Malleus. He watched as they dragged their king away and left you alone.
“You were… everything.”
You said that, thinking you were alone. Sebek only realized that the time you spent away from Malleus did nothing. He could tell that Malleus was the same way. He slowly stepped out and looked at you, concern prominent on his face.
“Sebek…” You said quietly, your eyes dulling once again.
Sebek had fallen in love with the person he couldn’t have. He knew it was taboo, especially since they were the person that his master loved so much, but it’s not like he’d ever reveal it. His body took over for a moment and when he came back to his senses, he had his arm wrapped around you in a hug.
To Sebek, the person in front of him was like a candle. Bright, full of many chances and changes, but even those have a limit. Now, this lovely candle had burned out and would never have the ability to light up again.
#sebek zigvolt#twst sebek#sebek x reader#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst wonderland#writing#romance#disney#angst#twst angst#angst with a sad ending#sebek angst
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Kyr Farwhisper - The Dark Urge
"Everyone has unseemly thoughts. Being able to quieten them is what sets us apart from the beasts."
Sharing some screenshots from my Dark Urge playthrough, which has just about hit 21 hours. BE WARNED. EVERYTHING BELOW THE READ-MORE LINE IS SPOILERS FOR THE DARK URGE PLAYTHROUGH. There is spoiler content, gore, and violence beyond! I tag with "#durge spoilers" if you want to block.
[Narrator: *You have nothing in your skull, besides your name and a headache. But you are in danger.*
Curse whoever did this to you.
Say your name aloud. You have a part of yourself.
Take a deep breath, shake your head, and start anew.]
The Dark Urge, in my opinion, is an origin that is preferable even to the custom ones that a player can make. Like the origins we get from the other PCs, such as Shadowheart or Astarion, there are custom cutscenes, content, and dialogue options specifically tailored to the Haunted past that you bring to the party. The Dark Urge isn't a play-through I would recommend if you want the feeling of a Noble, Righteous Hero. In some ways, it can be very stereotypically "edgelord"; you have little memory of your past, and are prone to violent and grotesque proclivities.
I suppose if you wanted to truly run an evil route and see how many dear companions you could kill along the way, you could play this route as Indulgent, or giving into the Dark Urge. I chose to play Kyr as a hopeless struggle; he is frightened by himself, and does his best to resist his dark temptations and try to do good. Resistance. It's made for a delightfully fulfilling roleplay experience, especially because I have chosen to romance Wyll on this play-through.
Even recruiting Astarion can be a little frightening.
The intro runs about the same, except when you wake up on the Nautiloid, you are bloodied, frightened, and have no memory of how you got there. In fact, there are no real signs that there is anything wrong with you, at least not in the dialogue you get until after the crash. Everyone's a little nervous, on edge, and then you have the chance to recruit Gale from his little portal. If you give into the Urge... it goes poorly. Fantasize about chopping his hand off?
I didn't make this canon for Kyr's run, but I was curious what would happen. I don't know what becomes of Gale, if you can recruit him later--if you can, how strange. You did just remove his hand for seemingly no reason. Astarion, too, has something to say about it immediately after.
This is your first sign that the Dark Urge run is going to be, well.. full of dark urges. Kyr seems to have a strange and compelling urge to commit harmful, violent acts--but doesn't seem to be aware he's doing it. I went back and he recruited Gale normally, resisting the weird desire to fantasize about chopping a man's hand off. Things were quiet--for a little bit.
Lots of dialogue choices specialized for the Dark Urge present in one of two, maybe three ways--commit this horrible act, or be shocked by your perversions and resist. Along with all of the usual options, such as based around your skill checks and your class. You have fewer culture rolls--you don't remember your past, after all (but you can imply to be Baldurian later on in Wyll's conversations, which I did). The lack of backstory and the amnesia is meant to heighten the strange horror of your situation, but I like building on what Kyr could be missing. A father, maybe, and a mother he never knew.
You can even tell Withers that you don't think your life is worth very much--something that he has a sage rebuke for. It's implied that he might know a little bit more about your circumstances than he's letting on, but if he does, he doesn't deem it fit to share with you.
Back at the camp, you do have options to speak with your party members--even so early--about your concerning affliction. Two new choices are available to you: concern about your memory loss, and concern about your violent urges. So early in the game, I decided I would start to bring up the memory loss. They are... quite flippant! And quick to dismiss your concerns on having to do with the mind-flayer tadpole.
It's late, and I'm getting sleepy, so that's all I'll add for this post. More is to come.
Part 1 | Part 2
#cas plays bg3#oc: kyrran#oc: kyr#bg3#bg3 spoilers#bg3 dark urge#bg3 durge#durge spoilers#bg3 oc#dark urge spoilers#baldur's gate 3#fuck it we bhaal
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Watching Netflix's avatar, spoilers below
"Netflix atla Liveblog" will be the tag to block to miss these posts (I'm live blogging bc I'm overwhelmed with emotion i have to take breaks)
Oh noooo I love it. I went into this with optimism and hope in my chest and these first minutes are feeding me.
I am full heartedly going into this accepting that adaptations have to change and remove things and so far, I really like what they've done!!!
Spoiler but gyatso just told aang that he must "remember who he is" once he leaves to learn the other elements and!!!! Setting up a Zuko parallel this early?????? :0 if they go that route I APPROVE!!
Also, since I'm here: the opening fight scene was good and I am so glad sozin straight up immolated a guy on screen and his head sage was like [shocked Pikachu face] yeah I BET you didn't think "start a war" meant you were gonna see that shit in your living room
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Sharing this because I feel like it. ☺️ The first 900+ words of Idle Hands (rewrite) so far. 🥹 In case you didn't catch previous now deleted post, I gave up on the 'stressful childhood' direction. Now it's more of a retelling, but I'm still calling it a rewrite. This Naruto is interesting imo. Ahhhh, I hope I'm doing this right? I guess bear with me here. Contradictions may be inevitable, Idk. So, he falls under the Obliviously Evil trope this time around. I'm shooting for 'cheerful yet stressed (traumatized) and actually secretly crazy'. Doesn't fit the standard Dark Naruto depiction, so I can't really say one way or another which he leans the closest to. 😭 He hasn't broken yet, but he's going to get there, so we'll see. 🤭 Hope this instills some hype! :3 Becuz I'm making progress babyyyy~🎵
xxx-xxx-xxx
Idle Hands (2024)
Pairings: NaruHina, eventual NaruHinaSasu
Smut, Freeuse, Dacryphilia
cw: toxic behavior, dubcon, ijime
Summary: There's nothing to do in the sticks. There's even less to do when you're on probation. There's even less than that when: Your dad is the most popular man in town/You've been raised to be a boy and are invisible when you try to be a girl/When your exciting city boy lifestyle has been taken from you.
Or when two losers and a fuckboy choose all the worst ways to have fun. Not that one of them had much of a choice.
There in the middle of an overgrown clearing sat a rusted, abandoned car, wheel-less and sitting atop four cement bricks. The dense forest trees towered in the distance, their foliage deep green and billowing in the wind. Beneath the car, you can follow the remnants of a gravel path out of the clearing, towards an abandoned auto factory – you know, when having an auto factory way the fuck out here somehow made sense. Back before the bubble burst when everything went to shit. But what does he know? He was only six when it happened. Not like that shit ain’t affecting him well into the Y2K or anythin’.
Naruto lounged in the backseat with a nudie magazine and a sage green quilted blanket over his lap, his cheeky eyes devouring the curvaceous models on the pages. Oiled up, lips spread, pouty eyes peering and pleading for his cock.
He nudged his toe in the soft belly beneath the blanket, or maybe he threw it a little harder than he meant to, forcing a slight cough from her throat as her mouth retreated from his cock after gagging.
The blanket rose up from his lap.
“Hey, I didn’t say ‘stop’.” He cupped the back of her head and forced her lips to press against the underside of his rigid girth, teeth sliding and catching against his tender flesh. When the wet, warm vacuum pull of her mouth around his cock returned, he settled back into place, flipping pages like he was reading the newspaper.
Green eyes stared back at him. Earnest, yet cold. White skin framed by black hair. Her tits squished together in a string bikini as she bent forward, her arms crossed underneath their swell.
Shizuka. Didn't matter that she was twenty-four and he was sixteen. There were plenty of ways he could ruin her that life hasn't yet.
His breath quickened, shallow quiet pants puffing past his lips.
Her rich green eyes were growing on him.
Maybe his first girlfriend will have green eyes. If only.
Women like them didn’t exist out here. Not in this dying town of theirs, where their only market street was rows of shuttered-up shops, their storefronts heavily tagged and dirty with runny rust-stains.
Dsy by day, this place was turning into an old person’s home. Or a fucking casket.
Day by day he passed by a chain-smoking mummy, half-deaf and half-blind yet still nosy enough to cuss him out. Every day those same disapproving stares like he was some kind of disease, some kind of curse.
He wanted a woman like Shizuka. He wanted softness like hers to make him forget. He wanted eyes like hers fixed on him in every mundane context, like two lovers, their names signed on the lease just the day before. He wanted her silent worship.
God, he couldn’t wait to get out of here. Couldn’t wait to get a taste of real women.
He was wasting his fucking youth here. His mind too, not that anyone believed he had much of one to begin with.
He imagined someone beautiful, someone way, way, way out of his league taking him inside her, wanting him more than anyone else inside her. She would rewrite his entire history in a single night.
Excitement arced up his spine as pleasure pooled in his groin, building and building–
Naruto grabbed the back of her head. He thrusted into her hot, slimy throat, ignoring her startled whines, the gagging convulsions tightening around his invasive cockhead.
“Gotta train your throat again, huh, Hinata? C’mon, just endure it. I ‘ppreciate you not playing with other dudes while I was away, but you’ve really gotten sloppy. But that’s fine, too, actually. It’s kinda cute.” He threw his head back and closed his eyes, surrendering to the soft, clinging sensations thrumming around his cock. He was melting against her devoted tongue, so persistent to please him no matter what as she licked and laved the ridgid underside with broad sweeps that left echoes of each across his turgid flesh.
Knock knock knock!
A rhythmic tapping on the glass beside his head startled the lewd occupants and Naruto threw his toe into her stomach again.
He lowered the nudie magazine atop her head and turned his face out the window.
Bent over at the hip stood the thorn in his side that his dad personally stabbed in him the moment he found himself in front of the family judge again – no less than two months after his release from the Juvenile Training Facility.
The silver-haired man with the lazy, lidded gaze mimed cranking a handle backwards and Naruto sighed. He reached for the window crank, lowering the window just enough that he and Kakashi could properly exchange words.
“Go to school, Naruto.”
Naruto sank into seat, clearing his face of any hint of expression as he leveled Kakashi with a cold, ignorant stare.
His toe had other ideas, as he nosed around the convergence between her legs, finding the soft resistance of her panty-covered cunt. He idly teased her clit while he waited for the weary douche to give up like he always did.
Not like his father’s favorite student was all that invested in him, anyway. The dude was freaky smart and found ways to make his minor infractions such as truancy go away. Precisely to his father’s satisfaction, and not the system’s.
Obito told him someone like Kakashi would have proposed lifelong marriage to ‘The Rules’ if it had taken the shape he most desired.
The fact that he could give two shits about integrity these days convinced Naruto that his dad knew Kakashi’s state of mind. And that he was exactly what his dad was looking for in a probations officer.
Someone that would take Namikaze Minato’s side, always.
Someone that would protect Namikaze Minato’s image, always.
TBC
#naruhina#eventual naruhinasasu#idle hands fic#fic snippet#rewrite#two little shits don't make a right#and Hinata is trapped in the middle#NaruHina are childhood friends but Naruto is too fucked up to be a good friend to her
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tagged by @loveinthetimeofcoolers thank you
last song: get ready by sublime 🚬
fav colour: I actually dunno. Wait I’m gonna stick a whole palette here. I really feel like it’s always relative . It’s insufferable to say IT DEPENDS to this question but bro sometimes it really depends
I like warmer tones mostly, esp colours that look like they coulda come out of 35mm film. If i were to answer this question normally I would say orange or blue or sage green
currently watching: I’m halfway through Rebecca (1940) cause I stopped at the hour mark and haven’t sat back down to finish it and wwwooowww it’s pretty much my first time seeing Laurence Olivier because I didn’t look closely at him when my teacher played Hamlet in class. It’s good but I wonder why Hitchcock made two movies with Joan Fontaine married to someone who’s maybe a murderer. And I wonder why the later one was so much worse
spicy/savoury/sweet: spicy baby!! And then a sweet drink off to the side to cool off
relationship status: Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year running over the same old ground what have we found? the same old fears
current obsession: my warlock in the D&D campaign I play in. Also noir films, i like old timey guys punching each other. I dont think my brain activity recently has been very high, I’ve become very pictures images sensations sights based. Hopefully I get truly obsessed with something super stuffy and stuck up soon. I’m thinking heraldry? Maybe tattoo history? The second one isn’t stuffy it’s actually pretty swag
taggin @dreamingrobots @caelestis-kid @rorytunes @rubenovichoff @vapourchild @lefthandofscaevola i forgot how many I’m meant to tag
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