#i mean the whole situation is objectively really fucking funny so here we are
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I will make your weird masochist friend call you a tsundere and beg for you to hit him
#read the tags#this is entirely my own fault#i am very aggressive and use threats in real life just like i do on here#and to be fair i kept doing it after i found out because i crave chaos#i mean the whole situation is objectively really fucking funny so here we are#tw kink mention#figured I'd better mention that just in case#adam if you did decide to make a tumblr and follow me then uhhhh#sorry lol#i'm threatening people with you now because that's just how it goes#mod lore#(i feel so weird typing that but also i think it's an objectively funny tag)#(haha. i have lore.)#lizzy is going to see this and laugh at me#my friends know about this blog if they ever check it I'm never gonna hear the end of this one#because of the tags not because of the post itself#like to be fair i did once choke him to make him shut up. in hindsight i have no idea why i thought that was a good idea
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Heyo! I saw your post about RSD and tried to comment but Tumblr said "no," so I'm sending it as an ask, I guess. 😅 Not trying to be a creeper.
I took Focalin for a while (currently on a blend of Wellbutrin and Prozac, because it manages all parts of my AuDHD well). It helped with a lot of the symptoms of brain fog and executive dysfunction, but I haven't noticed much (if any) difference in my RSD. If anything, it gives you a tiny gap of space in between the painful impact and your reaction. So I get a (non-judgy) mental voice letting me know that while my feelings are real and valid, assigning extra meaning to the perceived rejection isn't helping me.
Silly example: getting a briefer text without all the required emojis and punctuation to let me know the other person isn't pissed at me.
This feels like a slap in the face OR like a hole ripped in my gut. And I can't do anything about that feeling. But what I can do is realize my brain is telling me that the other person is upset, that I've done something wrong, etc etc. My brain is telling me that, but the only objective information I have is "I got a short text." It's up to the other person to tell me that they're actually upset.
So to sum up:
1. Meds didn't make RSD feel better (for me), but it gave me some breathing space to choose some different reactions.
2. Validating the reaction for how scary or painful it is (the reaction is NOT stupid) is important.
3. Recognize the other bits that are contributing to why this particular thing feels so very bad.
4. Discard everything that is not super simply and objectively true.
I know we tend to be hyper intuitive and often right in our assumptions, but the bottom line is that that sh1t is not our business.
I'm interested to hear other people's behavioral recs!
No Problem! I don't know why you couldn't comment, sorry 😞 Maybe you are on your side blog or something (?). Anyway, that doesn't matter. Thanks for answering! I hope it's ok if I answer publicly.
What really bugs me about the whole RSD situation is, that objectively I know. My brain knows. That the person is just in a hurry, that it wasn't directed at me, that sometimes things upset people and you can't avoid negative reactions. That it is impossible to be everybody's darling. All that. But 5 minutes later I'm sitting in the corner, crying anyway. Like, bawling my eyes out. And that makes me feel incredibly immature, not being able to rationally go over my emotions and deal with them like an adult (like all the other adults) and instead cry, because a coworker told me I'm a bit loud sometimes. Which is exactly what happened today. I had to go home from work early (I'm fucking… in my mid 30s goddamn!!!! I'm a project manager!), because I was in tears and could't get a grip of myself. That coworker has never said anything remotely mean to me ever and I felt so betrayed. Why was he being all nice and stuff all the time, if he thought I was loud and obnoxious? I know that that is what adult people do. Talk about things. Make a joke or try do soften the blow of giving someone critique by wrapping it in a funny comment or a little quip. But that did not prevent me from dissolving in a complete melt down. And of course I feel so stupid for it. In hindsight, this whole situation is just hysterical. And additionally, I'm going to completely change the way I interact with that person in the future from now on. Not consciously, but yeah. Also I'm super scared to go back to work tomorrow. I feel humiliated by him saying I was obnoxiously loud sometimes and always had to comment everything, in front of all the other team members. And them agreeing, after I asked a few in private. I don't want to be seen at that place anymore. I'm so sure they've talked about me behind my back before that situation. There also is a 100% chance I'm making this up in my head and actually everyone already forgot. Except me. I'm sitting here all paranoid and puffy-eyed, sniffling like an idiot about things that can't be changed anymore.
Thanks for sharing your insights! I actually feel better now. I'm a bit sad to hear, that medication didn't help you. I don't want to self-diagnose too much, but I was reading a bit about RSD and medication and how treating the ADHD through medication can affect the RSD positively. But we'll see.
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Danganronpa 3 Despair arc episode 6.
Thonks.
Hajime having a flashback while describing what happened.
Oh boy.
Confirms he was supposed to be the Ultimate Hope.
"All traces off previous personality deleted."
You got that wrong... But for now you're right.
They really couldn't have cut his hair, like the whole time.
Chiaki asking Chisa how Hajime is, because she taught at the Reserve Course.
And Chisa lying to her.
Ouch.
I love how Ibuki is sus of Peko and Fuyuhiko's "sudden friendship."
And kicking Teruteru for getting perverted.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Few things are as Gundam Tanaka as Gundam calling a bunny a bringer of Calamity.
And than comforting said bunny and calling it BunBun.
So sweet.
Chisa got a hold of a key card from Juzo.
... Why would you want to live for Munakata's ideals?
Or die for him.
... Why?
Juzo saying he wouldn't hesitate to die for Chisa.
Unexpected, but I don't think it's jealously. Even with the close up of his fist.
They all were friends, he took her death hard, makes sense.
... Or maybe he is jealous of being a third wheel to Chisa and Munakata.
He cares a lot for both of them. It must be hard when you know both of your friends are in love.
And you're just here.
I don't like the guy but I can sympathise.
Aaaannnd Nagito is still missing.
Chisa your disguise kinda sucks but sure, breaking in.
Close the door!
Wait someone vanished?
Of course it was Junko's fault.
Junko that's curry... Not soup. I guess it doesn't matter if either way it's ending up in an eye.
Gotta love Junko talking about how great normal everyday things are for torture.
And knowing she'll some of the most elaborate executions known to man.
Imagine Danganronpa 1 but the executions are just torture via household objects and food.
... Actually don't that sounds terrifying.
The Kamakura project description...
Why does hearing about it with professional jargon make it sound so much worse?
And it's already fucked.
So Izuru has all known talents, and the trade off was losing his personality and his memories.
... Fuck.
And naturally Junko knows, somehow.
So she and Mukuro are off to meet him.
Idk why I'm suprised that Junko casually had an eyeball on her.
But did it need to be on the stick of the food your eating?
The fated meeting between Junko and Izuru.
Funny thing about Munakata being against the Kamakura project is that he basically becomes his own Izuru Kamakura.
A despair disguised under the flag of hope.
I love how he's like what if Izuru Kamakura turned against us.
Yeah that'd be awful... 👀
Annnd Izuru takes down both Junko and Mukuro.
Man has all talents.
I do like that he still sounds like Hajime.
So much more soul crushing.
The thing is Junko and Izuru are intellectual equals.
But Junko has the upper hand.
Izuru doesn't see Junko as a threat, she's able to fool him and implant the seeds of wanting despair in him.
She knows his situation better than anyone, because he knows all the outcomes and so does she.
She's bored and knows he is too.
And uses that in her favour.
Ayy Ryota's okay.
Twogami saying he's going to keep going to the hospital till he's got a clean bill of health.
Which is sweet.
And Junko in the infirmary.
Makes sense that Mukuro doesn't like Izuru, especially cos he injured Junko and Junko's fangirling over him.
Butt for Junko I'm sure she'll go with it.
"When she wakes up, tell her I'll be waiting."
Looks like the seeds been planted.
I say seeds like it was done all sneaky and cryptic but girl just despair speeched him.
And it worked.
I'd say Junko has issues but we all knew that.
Huh, didn't know Junko had a spidey sense.
And cornered, Ryota of all people.
Wasn't who I expected her to grab first... Especially because Ryota didn't become a despair.
But that doesn't mean he escaped her grasp.
... Few ever do.
#danganronpa 3: the end of hope's peak high school#Danganronpa#junko enoshima#ryota mitarai#mukuro ikusaba#hajime hinata#izuru kamukura#chisa yukizome#long post
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Written by
A. V. Phibes. NOT ME!!
BUT IT'S SO GOOD I HAD TO SHARE.
Or if you want to read it right here.
Why ladies love Severus Snape: A detailed primer. (chock full of spoilers, in case you care)
So I was sitting around playing Marry/Fuck/Kill with the Potterverse and was like “I’d totally fuck Snape, obviously.” Then it occurred to me that, among the smorgasbord of cute young boys, why would the “obvious” sexual choice be a gnarly old goth who’s a dick to everyone
Initially, it doesn’t seem to make much sense, since, in the novels, even though he’s a fairly complex character, there’s not really a drop of sex on him and he’s mostly described as being mean and ugly. In spite of this, HP fandom is bursting at the seams with ladies who are hot and bothered for Snape. Some fervently embrace it, others feel strangely confused about it, but it is nonetheless true that ladies love cool Snape, and-- fear not-- I’m going to tell you why in a convenient 5 point format:
1. Alan Rickman’s Voice
A huge portion of Snape lust can be simply attributed to the casting of Alan Rickman in the movies. While Alan Rickman is an average-looking dude and kinda over-the-hill, it is an anecdotally observed phenomenon that the timbre and tempo of Alan Rickman’s voice triggers some sort of primal mating instinct in females. Reviewers—female ones, that is-- have used all sorts of metaphors for Alan Rickman’s voice: Velvet, silk, chocolate, red wine…basically, stuff that ladies love. Have you ever listened to audio of Alan Rickman reading stories? Well I have, and I cannot tell you a single plot point of any of those stories because all I could think about is having hot sex with Alan Rickman who is old enough to be my father and not at all my type.
Guys don’t get it (which I hypothesize is why he tends to be cast as a villain in guy movies and a romantic object in chick movies). It would seem you have to have a vagina in order to experience the aphrodisiac qualities of Alan Rickman’s voice. It’s almost a rite of passage into womanhood: You get your period, you have your first kiss, and you have the first time you go see a movie with Alan Rickman in it and leave feeling all funny, thinking “wow, that guy is such a… um… good actor.” because Alan Rickman’s voice just totally made sweet dirty love to your ear holes.
So now, thanks to the Harry Potter movie franchise, there is a whole new generation of adolescent girls who hear things like this and then feel all strange and confused about their inappropriate longing to make out with a guy practically old enough to be their grandfather. Fear not, young ladies: You can’t help it. It’s just science.
2. He’s dark and Mysterious
This one is so obvious as to almost be cliché. It's the same reason chicks dig vampires. Ladies often respond to strong emotions and fear and confusion can be strong emotions. If you combine this with an initial attraction, a young lady who doesn’t know any better can easily presume that maybe she’s madly in love with a guy just because he’s a little scary and confusing (See also: Twilight). (here I just want to add Damon Salvatore)
So let’s look at Snape: Is he dark? Yes. Along with the severe black outfit, he’s got a titillating air of menace and danger. Mysterious? Definitely. Is he a good guy? Is he a bad guy? Where do his loyalties lie? Does anyone really know what he’s up to? So many questions! How desperately we ladies want to uncover his secrets! The “scary and confusing” factor, aside from being exciting, can also totally disrupt a ladies sense of control over a situation, which can also be stimulating if attraction is involved (which it obviously is because, duh, Alan Rickman’s voice). Leading us to…
3. The whole S&M vibe
It is not a mere coincidence that the interwebs contain about ten million smutty fanfics about what transpires when Snape keeps students after class for detention. Consult a list of the top ten female sex fantasies and you will see “being dominated” and “teacher/student” sitting right next to each other. The character of Severus Snape is a teacher… A very strict teacher. When he tells you to do something, you do it. These kind of power/control fantasies are pretty common (and hot). Add “dark and mysterious” and the wanton suggestiveness of Alan Rickman’s voice into the mix and you’ve just created a perfect storm of female masturbation material. Under these circumstances, having Snape say lines like “I shall attempt to penetrate your mind and you shall attempt to resist me” is almost too much to deal with.
4. He’s a jerk
We’ve all heard the old saw “Women don’t like nice guys… they like jerks” usually being muttered by some jerk who thinks he’s a nice guy. The truth is that women DO like nice guys, BUT, they also like jerks sometimes. As someone who’s dated my fair share of sociopaths, I’ll try to shed some light on this for you.
One thing to establish is that most women don’t like jerks because they want to be treated badly. Rather, they want the guy who’s a jerk to everyone but them. They’re hoping for the victory of biting through his hard candy shell and getting to his sweet tootsie roll center. Jerks possess the alluring qualities of power and confidence… although usually taken to a dysfunctional level. Since most of us have to be nice most of the time, the jerk can also provide a vicarious, liberating thrill as he brazenly breaks all the rules of social propriety.
So when Snape goes around being an asshole and not taking anyone’s shit, it’s actually kind of a turn-on. (Some women also labor under delusions that they can “reform” the jerk, although this is usually a recipe for disaster. )
If I may, however, give some advice to the youth of America, it’s this: Don’t have relationships with jerks. I’m not saying you can’t have hot flings with the occasional jerk in your experimental youth, because, truthfully, they ARE pretty exciting in the short term, but any guy who’s a jerk to everyone else will eventually be a jerk to you. Trust me. To put it in HP terms: fuck all the Slytherins you want, but if you want to get serious, find a nice Hufflepuff.
5. He’s all tortured and misunderstood and crying on the inside and shit.
Okay, so maybe after a long day of antagonizing Harry Potter, insulting his students and generally sneering and being curt, Snape goes down to his room in the dungeon, turns on The Cure’s “Disintegration,” and cries while hugging his pillow, because deep down inside he’s all wounded and sensitive.
Remember what I said in the last bit about the tootsie roll center? Well Snape’s is a doozy. He came from an abusive, neglectful home, got bullied in school and then watched as his BFF/love of his life kicked him to the curb and married the guy who bullied him. Now she’s dead and he feels responsible, so he’s sworn to save her son’s ass from Voldemort even though he partly hates him because he looks like the dude who pantsed him in high school. Meanwhile, everyone just thinks he’s a dick because of the cold, stoic façade he’s constructed to hide his inner turmoil. But he’s secretly doing good…GOOD, DAMN IT! So much heartache! So much angst! So much wounded inner child desperately needing the right woman to hug his pain away!
Chicks often dig romantic fantasies of being the special, insightful one to understand the misunderstood guy, thus breaking through his misanthropic exterior and being rewarded with all of his ardent, pent-up passion. Combined with the Jerk factor, this would seem to present a situation where you could have your hot, rough, pinned-against-the-wall sex and your sweet butterfly kisses, too. In real life, this typically doesn’t result in anything but a dysfunctional relationship, but it seems pretty sexy on paper.
In Summary:
Okay, so we’ve got a dark and mysterious guy with an air of danger and a dominating personality who’s in a position of authority. He’s a total jerk and doesn’t take anyone’s shit, but it’s only because he’s all emo on the inside. Top that off with a voice that makes EVERY DAMN THING sound erotic and BAM: Ladies love Snape.
And so I hope that this sheds some light on why I would obviously fuck him… although I’m totally marrying Hagrid…and killing Peter Pettigrew. That guy is worthless.
#severus snape#pro snape#harry potter#snape fandom#snape#hp#alan rickman#snape on the side of light#anti snaters#sexy alan rickman#sexy hands#sexy shadow snape#sev is super sexy#sexyboys#sexy voice#Why women love Snape#essay
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When do you usually do most of your writing?
Pet peeves?
What is on your wishlist?
nine your questions are always so fucking spotless. ily -- @ecleips
When do you usually do most of your writing?
i do it either after lunch or when i get up from my afternoon nap! or if i get a good idea and its too long to type it on mobile i get up and yoink my laptop to write at least the bases of it down... sometimes i ditch my nap for that because my sleeping circle isn't even that remotely stable c: teehee (is in shambles)
What is on your wishlist?
SO MANY THINGS.
kaeya being gently courted after a bad relationship with the person pursueing him treating him so gently and being patient about him? i would WEEP for this. worldbuilding of the abyss in my abyss!kaeya verse, kaeya eventually getting over his inazuma trauma after he addresses it properly. also, exploring kaeya's rage hidden under that thin layer of frosty ice that he has,,,,,,, chef kiss.
AND second close to kaeya managing to find love again it's me wanting to develope Herald, the fucker also living rent-free in abyss!kaeya's body. i just think that it's a funny, deranged little broken shit and the concept of how it merged with kaeya and their dynamic is fun to write. they're almost friends but for abyss!kaeya it almost feels like a babysitting job without an harness
Pet peeves?
putting this one for last so i dont slam a wall of text into people's faces!
sighs. cracks my knuckles on the same nail i always hammer about
wanting to ship with my kaeya for nsfw only,,,,, yeah. i will admit that im not the best person when this is the intent that you approach me with, and it doesn't put me in my comfort zone and i'd really have to force-fart out a reply if it's a consistent dynamic that we have. kaeya doesn't give himself willy nilly like that and idk how to phrase it without being a teensy bit maybe offensive about it… as long as it isn't assumed that kaeya might reciprocate immediately and could have a bad reaction to it we're chill, but otherwise it isn't the greatest interaction i want to have and it taints future ones,,, so,,,, yeah that's. not going to land.
NOT assuming that my kaeya may react realistically to different situations is probably what irks me more tbh. sometimes he's just not in the mood for sex or to be sexualized and flirted with all the time, sometimes he'll feel downright used if his paranoia acts up in the wrong moment. kaeya feeling like he's only a pretty object in a relationship is ABSOLUTELY a downer ending, because it means no more sex until the other muse manages to bring a good balance to romance, appreciation and sex. otherwise, while i desperately sit here wriggling to write shippy stuff/smut, kaeya's muse will just NOT allow me to and his dark thoughts will slip into my writing, making the whole thing unbearable to write and, i'm sure, read, if my partner wanted some passionate smut or light-hearted fluff.
one of my funniest (and realistic) rps i had a few days ago with @heincus and it was their lovely oc hokori being enlisted to help kaeya get over his fear of pyro aimed directly at his face, because he was tired of it affecting him so much and so kalpas wouldn't have to worry about it. the predictable result is that, after little time praticing it and a reaction that didn't bordered into a panic attack, he was filled with adrenaline and almost manic in happiness and thought he was over it, wrecked some shit with kalpas on the way home… and then he was a puddle of shaky sobs into kalpas neck, because the adrenaline wore off and he was actually scared SHITLESS of fire. 10000/10. laughed so hard at happy kaeya thinking that traumas can be ditched with this much ease… baby boy tricks himself so much it was SO fucking funny. he's SO delusional
im just like,,,,,, i REALLY dwell on kaeya's traumas and troubles to have a realistic portrayal of him, because it's part of his character. i understand and apologize if that's a turn off and why i put a detailed description of what it's to be expected of kaeya in my rules, so people know what to expect and plan ahead, or jus decide to not interact at all.
i might not be the shipping partner that you need if you're not into This Mess and i'll take some good distance from a ship we have in case i don't register a positive response to this realism until we either find a balance break the ship apart. i'm never going to string people along in something that clearly makes them uncomfortable. AND in return i expect to not be strung along if things don't land and transparency that the angst is becoming a little too unbearable so i can tone it down!
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ARC Review: Fly with Me by Andie Burke
4.25/5. Releases 9/5/2023 (audiobook).
Vibes: hot lesbian pilot/anxiety-ridden bi nurse, mental health dealt with wonderfully, fake dating, trauma bonding in a good way, and very solid vibrator usage.
While on a flight to fulfill her comatose brother's bucket list, nurse Olive has to leap in and save the life of a passenger, unintentionally becoming a viral sensation. She wants to avoid the attention--but the super sexy pilot Stella makes an instant connection with her. So when Stella asks Olive if she'd like to fake a relationship in order to help Stella move up the career ladder... I mean, Stella is very hot.
A sapphic romcom debut that had me totally engaged the whole time--and it did hit me me in the gut a couple times. Yet it was also fun and sexy! Very impressed.
Quick Takes:
--One thing I really appreciated about this novel was the way that it was funny, but was also a bit devastating. There are a lot of intense things dealt with here. I never felt overwhelmed, however. A sad moment would be cornered by a happy moment. There was a lot of bittersweetness. Never in the romance, but in everything surrounding it. And I think that, overall, Andie Burke did a great job with having those issues act as an impetus for Stella and Olive to be together, rather than a distraction from their love story.
--I really appreciated the way this book touched on how nurses are diminished and dismissed by the general public, especially in the wake of COVID. The author is a nurse, and she does a great job of, again, framing this without letting it take over the fact that this is a romance novel.
--About this being a romance novel... I so enjoyed this love story. I often feel like sapphic romances kind of turn into "everyone is smiley and smart and they don't have dumb issues" stories. Which I get! We want queer love framed in a positive light. But the thing is, men in m/m romances get to be dumb and horny and messy.
Stella and Olive are undeniably both good people, but they are also dumb and horny and messy. A good part of the reason why Olive agrees to this fake dating scheme? Is because she really really really really wants in Stella's pants. And why wouldn't she? Stella is a hot pilot, hypercompetent, super lovely, and very good in bed. And you did get to see how good she is in bed.
I think that Andie Burke did a thing I would love to see in more sapphic romcoms, which is just like... mess. Olive and Stella act like a couple of morons in the best possible way, because feelings are hard. Olive has a crazy ex who I feel some may object to, but I don't know. She felt like an old school romcom crazy ex, which is to say, loathsome, but--not impossible. Especially with a partner like Olive, who feels so concerned about accommodating others.
--Speak of accommodating others, I will say, the emotional abuse Olive receives from her mother in particular is like... intense, and it's not the stereotypical sapphic romcom issue, and it did make me feel so fucking bad for Olive. The situation she was in is just impossible and heartbreaking and something I think a lot of people should put more thought into.
And frankly, there isn't a bow put on the issue at the end. Sometimes families are rough. I appreciated that this romance could cover love and cover that at once.
--That said, Stella has a similarly complex but more loving family unit. I don't think I've read a contemporary romance before where the heroine is gay and her dad is also gay? And we should see more of that.
--The one thing I will say is that I think Andie Burke could've written this as dual POV, and it would've benefited from that. At points, being in Olive's head only made it feel like she was a universal victim. I would've liked to see more of Stella's POV, not just because Stella is probably my favorite out of the two, but because she had a lot of her complex issues going on that I think we should've seen more of.
The Sex Stuff:
This is a slow burn, and it does take a while for this two to have sex. But when they do, it is quite hot. I really loved the usage of toys in this book, which we should totally see more of. I feel like whether I'm reading m/m or m/f or f/f or even poly romances, I don't see enough toys.
Anyway it was hot and I especially love the shower scene.
A very strong debut, and a great edition to the f/f romcom canon, which needs to be broader. The narration was solid as well.
Thanks to Macmillan Audio and Netgalley for providing a free copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.
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i’m so blown away by how well-received that post was; thank you so so much!! all your commentary is so funny and i love your questions ;-;
yesss you’re gonna see that crop top again, mark my words 😌
and you won’t actually meet brandon (or jessica, for that matter) but i put those notifications there to hopefully paint a picture in your mind! my thought process was that he went out for a sushi date with jess the evening before but they didn’t really click, so he nicely rejected her, which is why she said: “No worries! Thanks for the sushi, call me if you [ever change your mind].” because he’s just that nice about it, lmao. tinder/brandon is really just meant to show that he’s officially Looking for a relationship 👀
actually yes, she’ll keep up the tradition!! unlike her other siblings, she'll have the advantage of growing up on the farm her whole life; she’s a rough and tumble country girl through and through 😌 i’m not sure how old we’ll see her grow before the story ends (we all know how slowly i move around here...) but i imagine that she gets really into agriculture in a way that her parents didn’t – mikaela and danny wanted a little farm for fun. but i can see sadie buying all the surrounding property and really growing crops as a job. and there is nothing that builds muscle more than good honest manual labor lmaoo
@hedgehogs-and-songbirds ahhh thank you!! i had so much fun making the poses for this post :’) and i agree, tom can win this one. i wouldn’t say he’s POPULAR with the ladies... but some find him charming jskdjsd
isn’t it adorable 😭 i didn’t bother editing the picture since i knew it would be covered up, but here’s the full thing:
nah he’s not claiming he’s straight, he just doesn’t have words to describe how he feels at the moment so if anyone asks his sexuality he just shrugs and says “fuck if i know” lmao!! but thankfully he has left his “no homo” era in high school 😌
thank you so much omg!!!! i’m so happy you liked it! i put a lot of thought into how i could make it feel like time has really passed & that casper has already established a new life that we’re getting to see for the first time. i had so much fun putting in all the little details and i’m so glad you liked it too 💖💖
i wish i could say that’s the only time you’ll see tom in a situation such as this, but it absolutely isn’t.....
casper’s laying on his stomach kicking his feet around in response 💗
@sublimesims omg thank you 😭😭😭 it was one of my favorites to make!! i can’t take credit for the beer bottle outline, i knew i had to make it as a pose when i saw this picture on pinterest
but it took me hours to make!! i made the poses first, then ripped tom & casper’s models so i would have their exact body sizes, then put everything into blender and added each beer bottle individually until it was all shaped the way i wanted it to be, then turned that into one object, put it in game, etc. etc. i’m really proud of how it turned out hehe thank you again!! 💖
helvetihand + the italic version i made :)
i don’t know anything about computers and i think recommending them to people is tough because “cheap” means different things to different people, so your best bet is probably to go into a store that sells computers and ask around!! the employees will ofc try to upsell you, but generally if you keep your price firm as soon as you walk in the door, they will help you find the best one in that range :)
#anon about the height comparison - i'm saving that so i can give you visuals!!#asks#anonymous#nonsims#brandi answers
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... I couldn’t sleep. This has been on my mind for quite a while, and just... Fair warning; I’m not going to sugar coat anything here. I needed to get this out somewhere.
I’m probably gonna lose some followers over this, but maybe that’s for the best, given the topic... I'm going to get into some thoughts on the Depp vs Heard case.
[4AM EDIT- I apologize in advance for how heated I get here, I had some emotions to get out. Also there's a lot of cursing: fuck, shit, damn... those fun words.
Some folks might not like what I’ve said, but I’m open to a more calm and objective discussion in DMs or what not after I get some sleep. I know the situation is not black and white, and I want to know the truth of things... but I also know that some things are really murky, and there’s no possible way to know the absolute truth of them. All we can do is take what we have at our disposal and come to a conclusion.
If you're uncomfortable with this topic or are tired from seeing the news about it plastered all over the place, by all means please keep scrolling; you don't have to read this if it's going to put you in a bad mood or become distressing. Take care of yourself and your well-being first and foremost.]
Before I start getting flamed for what I’ve written below, and after I’m done getting everything out of my system, I intend on doing more research and fully putting together my updated thoughts and observations on this. This will take some time. At this point: I believe the main aggravated abuser of this entire shit-show between Heard and Depp, is Amber Heard. I want to make it known that I believed Amber was the victim when the news first came out years ago. Once I read more into what came out, my opinion slowly changed and I believed that Depp was being abused; this whole defamation trial is just the nail in the coffin, unless it's proven otherwise by reputable sources.
Again, I want to do more research when I have the time, and fully put together why exactly I’ve come to this conclusion, but the biggest factors I have right now that have me leaning this way are: the recordings presented in the current US case (and those that were not admitted into the trial for whatever reason), the testimony of a psychologist and several witnesses while on the stand (look I get it, folks are saying that they’re on Depp’s payroll; this is something I want to look into more as well to confirm, as there could be bias here if they’re being paid off by Depp; if so that shit isn’t okay and it’s pretty fucked up), numerous DV victims online calling out Amber’s behavior, behavioral analysts who are comparing the behavior of both Amber Heard and Johnny Depp and how they align with the abuser and the abused, Amber’s mannerisms while in court versus her deposition from 2016, and shit that is rubbing me the wrong way on how the UK trial was handled. (the judge seemed biased toward Amber's side despite evidence and cops' testimonies, just off the top of my head). There’s more I could add to this list, but it’s nearly 3am as I’m typing this and I just needed to get my frustration with this shit-show out on paper, as it were.
I don’t give a flying fuck if Amber Heard supposedly snorted cocaine while on the stand, or if she actually took a dump in Depp’s bed. This dumb shit that people keep pulling up to make fun of Ms. Heard doesn’t matter; I don’t fucking know if it’s true, and it’s not funny to me. That and there's so much damn click-bait on Youtube, it's insane... it takes away from the actual trial, and people are actively lying about the outcome for views. The trial isn't even over yet for fuck's sake.
I’m incredibly uncomfortable with how Amber has presented her testimony, the way she has used movie quotes in her testimony, how she stares daggers at both the jury and Depp... and I’m not uncomfortable because of how passionate her testimony is. I’m uncomfortable because I can tell when I’m being emotionally manipulated, and that pisses me off. Amber is exhibiting the behavior of someone who is manipulative; the detail dumping, repetition, deflecting before giving an answer, the visible emotional whiplash of changing her facial expression from wildly distressed, to mildly (mildly?) looking annoyed is raising so many red flags to me. She flips on a dime and there are several instances where you can tell she forgot she was on camera, and quickly changes her facial expression. There were smug reactions and eyerolls that made me wish I could reach through the screen and slap her. I can also get into how the visceral description of her rape is the kind of shit you would need to seek immediate medical attention for, but this is something I want to do more research on. Needless to say I don’t have a very high opinion of Heard right now.
So, her bruising; there was a picture shown as evidence that shows a dark black bruise on her arm, which was supposedly acquired from Mr. Depp 2 days prior. Okay... so I was a bit of a dumbass and smacked myself pretty good on some workout equipment a little over a week ago. The bruise is all but gone now, but it hurt like a son of a gun at the time. You know what color it was within the first few minutes of injury? Black/Purple/Blue with some visible redness and swelling around it. By the end of that same day and onward into the 2nd Day, my bruise was all sorts of fun colors: Yellow+Green, Blue, Purple+Red speckled marks. A bruise being dark+black on Day 2, with no visible signs of swelling or any color? I think the fuck not; I'm calling bullshit.
Do I believe Depp is a saint? Fuck no; he’s involved with Hollywood, there’s a lot of shitty stuff that happens behind closed doors and they’re corrupt as all hell. I'll mention that at least he's spent a lot of time with kids with cancer, which is more than can be said of Amber as far as I know. Some of the shit he’s said in texts and other stuff he’s admitted make me genuinely disgusted, but I also believe this is the product of a man who was around someone very detrimental for him and his healing from the shit he went through in his childhood; Depp was not a healthy person for Amber to be around either, and overall it was a hugely toxic relationship. That being said, I’m not surprised Depp was so vulgar in his texts submitted for evidence and he’s had verbal spouts with Amber: wouldn’t you vent or snap if you were being wound up and emotionally fucked with all the time for months on end?? For instance, the day Amber recorded that video where Depp slammed cabinets was the day his mother died. She already knew what happened that day, yet here she is recording this video going “What happened? Did something happen?” The man lost his damn mother, what do you mean “What happened?”?? Not to mention her smile and giggle at the end of the video. This is not the behavior of someone who was fucking abused; you remove yourself from the person, not casually stick around and try to sneakily record them at an emotionally vulnerable time. What the fuck.
Y'know that thing where Amber claimed the cop who got between her and her ex was homophobic? Turns out the cop was a lesbian who recognized abuse in a lesbian relationship. Sure, Amber got it scrubbed from her record eventually, and her ex forgave her, but the internet doesn't forget. (I'm going to need to look into this more though, just to confirm if it's true or not. I'd highly encourage folks to look into it too, as I'm definitely biased here.)
There’s also the situation where Depp lost the tip of his finger; there is a recording (unfortunately it was not submitted for trial; I’m not sure on the specifics of why) that Amber Heard made where she admits she hurt him and he had to go to the hospital, BUT she’s also having what sounds like a mental breakdown in the background, saying she doesn’t want to lose him and she wants to see him. (this is just one instance of her abandonment issues that were touched upon by the psychologist on the stand. Others mostly entailed situations where she’d start a fight with Depp, then when he tried to leave to de-escalate things, she’d hit him so he’d stay and not leave her. Based on this, I think she needs some serious professional help; being in a relationship is not healthy for her if she’s going to be lashing out like this instead of taking steps to handle her mental health issues) In this same recording, she admits that while Depp has some “coke he’s been hiding from me,” she also says “All I was popping was Xanax, Adderall, Esctasy and hallucinogens”. I’m sorry, didn’t she say in court that she wasn’t doing drugs?? Didn’t she say this on the stand??
I just... yeah. I’m pissed. As I said before, I intend on doing more research, and comparing and contrasting what I can... but at this time, honestly? I do not by any means view Amber Heard in a very good light, both Depp and Heard need professional help for their respective mental illnesses and traumas, and the courts unfortunately have a clear bias against men when it comes to DV... and it’s not just the courts. In the US, males are detained and put in the cop car if there’s been a DV call; this is PROTOCOL, it doesn’t MATTER what was said on the call, it doesn’t MATTER who is the aggressor. Cops are TRAINED to respond like this; hell, my own neighbors went through this. The husband was detained while the wife cried on the front porch. She was the one yelling at him for all the neighbors to hear, and unfortunately she was experiencing a bipolar episode. From what I was told, this is the reason they’re going through a divorce, because she isn’t getting properly treated for her mental health issues and keeps taking it out on him. Men can be abused, and holy shit... Heard has done so much fucking damage for DV victims. It doesn’t matter who wins, people are going to use this trial to further downplay what DV victims go through, and it makes my blood boil.
#tw abuse#Amber Heard#Johnny Depp#Defamation Case#tw Domestic Violence#tw johnny depp#tw amber heard
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let’s not beat around the bush id love a smash pass of the whole current grid
OKAY i've already answered a few but here's the entire grid in current championship order and YES i am going to include reserve drivers. putting this under a cut because good lord
max: have been through this - smash. he is not my normal type physically and yet i am deeply profoundly attracted to him. AND he has cats. win/win
checo: lol i forgot he was p2 now. anyway pass i'm sorry but he just does absolutely nothing for me
charles: well come on. obviously smash.
george: unfortunately we have also been through this and he is a regretful but simultaneously decisive smash
carlos: you see the thing about carlos is that he is objectively a very good looking man but in such a conventional way that it just registers as a net zero pussy response from me on all but a VERY select set of occasions. so pass :-/
lewis: SMASH. but also sort of a pass just out of like, the pressure of who has preceded me. i mean the man has slept with a pussycat doll and also probably rihanna i CANNOT win in this situation
lando: normally pass because if he was my type i'd just be posting about minecraft youtubers but i have to admit that one gifset going around of him looking flushed and sweaty after singapore did something absolutely outrageous to me. a 50/50
esteban: smash feels like the wrong word. there would be nothing violent about this interaction other than me changing position too fast and accidentally snapping every single one of his stick insect limbs perfectly in half
fernando: something about his face shape is just so deeply offputting to me and i cannot put it into words. i'm sorry. pass
valtteri: i have never seen a man's arse so many times and had literally zero erotic thoughts about it on any of those occasions. pass
seb: come on now i'm not a heathen. SMASH.
daniel: smash but i know it would be like deeply annoying sex. he'd be absolutely destroying me with his perfectly formed pussy eating nose and then he'd shout PIERRE GASLYYYYY as i orgasmed.
kmag: i feel nothing. pass.
lance: i am not attracted to him but everything about footage of him and his girlfriend together has me convinced that he must fuck like an absolute mountain rat. smash purely out of curiosity
mick: i genuinely cannot say smash because even though he's like. a perfectly respectable non-weird fuckable age for me as a 25 year old every time i see him i just think. That's A Little Baby Boy. pass
yuki: the thing is i don't really find him attractive 90% of the time (i have seen Some very compelling images on this front) BUT 1) short king recognises short king and 2) i feel like it would just be a hilarious experience this is a guy who knows how to make sex funny. maybe.
zhou: i'm contemplating. i've contemplated. smash.
alex: smash bc from his i feel like he would just be really fun and sweet in bed, like he's not gonna destroy you but you're still gonna remember it for how fun and charming the experience was. HOWEVER it could not be at the albon family home bc can you imagine the non stop racket of the collective albon pets trying to break in so horsey specifically can judge you
nicky: i feel like me saying smash is not SURPRISING but, my eternal nicky latifi fondness notwithstanding, this is another lance situation. what is it about the canadian pay drivers huh
nyck: short king recognises short king. smash.
hulk: again he just has too much aged-out frat boy energy for me so it's gotta be a pass
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understandable, given you are infact the manager I think as well I can declare what the move is and why its become my so proclaimed signature.
to preface, I fucking love the funny nuke button in games, but when there's no risk to using the funny nuke button, it's boring. so consider a ruina card with the following effect "on hit: spend 5 charge to recycle this dice"
this would be an interesting mechanic on its own, probably a little strong if on a big dice. and it is on a big dice! roughly on par with crack of dawn or mind whip.
what makes it risky though, on top of the charge cost, is that it's the only dice on the page too, and with a 5 light upfront cost, your theoretical 60-100 damage is at heavy risk of being neutered by another decently rolling dice.
I fucking love it, it's the kind of move you know can and will end a fight if used right, but you also can't just throw it out there and expect big number to win for you. its exactly what I want in a nuke move, and regardless of where I go I try making something similar.
This is the sort of ask that gets stuck in my inbox where I don't really know what to say to it. Since it doesn't really ask a question of me and I often feel like my brand of personality is likely one that would be perceived poorly.
What I mean to say is that while I do always appreciate getting asks, there's a certain level of engagement that I don't know how to respond to. Especially when it comes to anons; and again I totally understand if this is received poorly because the way we as human beings are expected to behave is honestly super weird on the internet.
I'm saying that it's hard for me to gauge how much I should say to an anon that's not really engaging me on a level I can comment on.
For example, here I could go on and on about how I think given the previous ask that people put way too much stock in video games and their own enjoyment of them.
How I think it's objectively an unhealthy obsession we have with identity and how we essentially cling to things we deem "ours" even when they're pretty common.
Or I could simply answer with "okay, cool man" because this doesn't really give me much to answer. However that feels needlessly rude, and I don't want to be rude to anyone.
See with Anon it's difficult for me to understand how to gauge a response, and if you think that it's bad that I'd give a friend more consideration than a random passer-by and that I should "treat everyone the same uwu" that's exactly what I mean when I say it's odd how we're expected to act online.
It's not that I would go out of my way to be rude to an anon simply because they're using anon. Literally see the sentence above where I state I don't wish to be rude to anyone. However I ask you this; genuinely, and I want you to think about this sincerely.
If you were in a conference or something and some random person approached you and essentially monologues at you about something you have a vague interest in, while you're unable to ascertain tone outside of their use of vocabulary that seems to promote the idea they think they're very interesting.
How would you even respond?
Would you respond much better if this person was your friend? Someone you're familiar with? Who you might enjoy the company of, or who's opinions you value?
I'd wager a solid guess, and feel safe betting on the answer being yes. You would.
It's not necessarily wrong to be that way either, but it's viewed as such because we often view ourselves as a victim in the situation.
I was actually talking to some friends about this not too long ago, the idea that we as an internet culture (and don't even get me started on how we're not all one big internet culture because like, that's a whole thing) have this concept of selfishness without realizing it.
What I mean is that if I say "you need to respect my specific needs, boundaries, and culture and if you don't know it you need to learn it so that I can engage with you." This immediately comes across as hostile, selfish, and honestly just unwelcome. The idea that you would need to deal with me wanting to engage with you by having to subscribe to my norms means I'm forcing work onto you and you may not be up for that.
However if I say "I should do my best to understand and respect the boundaries, needs, and culture of those who engage with me via my DMs and inbox." It's suddenly something that seems a lot more agreeable right?
Of course I should do my best to understand and respect the boundaries, needs, and culture of those who interact with me. Except wait a second, those two statements are the exact same thing aren't they? They're just said in a different perspective; specifically one of those puts the fault on me, and one of those puts the fault on those who engage with me. So it's easier to view one in the place of a victim who has been wronged.
I'm not even saying that's the case here. What I'm saying the case is here is that I often get asks like this that I don't know how to respond to, and that feeling of not knowing how to respond is amplified ten fold when I see it's an anon. Because truth be told yea I would react very differently to this information coming from a good friend vs coming from a random follower I don't know. I think that's human, that's understandable; I wouldn't fault anyone for doing the same with me.
It doesn't mean I'm lying or being nicer to one person or another; it just means that if I know a good friend of mine is talking like that, it becomes something almost familiar or understandable. I know how to talk to a friend in a way that won't be seen as rude, I know how to address a friend and how to interact with them.
With an anon, it's entirely up in the air. You could be a very good friend of mine and I may just not know; so now if I say nothing more than "I mean, that's cool man." It could be seen as a rude off-handed remark to just hand-wave your ask.
But also this doesn't give me anything to go off, there's no real way to respond to this outside of just being like "yea." There's no question being asked of me, there's no insight I can give here.
I'd argue that's not inherently a bad thing, it's just one of those things that cause asks to become a sort of a backlog of things left unanswered because they are more like comments than questions.
Comments that I don't know how to really respond to.
Take for example that opening line of like "well since you're the manager" right?
So for those who don't know me or who don't know the background behind that. The title of my blog being "the manager" literally just comes from my love of Lob Corp (from like, way back in the day when I first played it) and the fact I do often work managerial jobs, it's one of the few jobs I feel I'm good at, and that allows me to actually help people.
However to call me "the manager" kinda makes me cringe (not at you just in general) because like, it doesn't mean anything. It's just a silly blog title.
Now if I know you're a good close friend of mine, like if my childhood friend who I've known for decades; Echo said that to me for example; I'd literally just respond with a deadass stoic response of "I'm unemployed." Because this would absolutely be taken for the joke it is, and I can; in good faith understand, that he wouldn't take offense or think I'm ignoring the rest of what he's saying.
But with a complete anon ask saying this; for me to start by saying "First of all, I'm unemployed." Feels again, like it could be taken rudely, or like it would be made out to be a bigger thing than just an odd the cuff comment/joke.
Most of the reason behind that title was from the joke of how often I'd be made to work alone only to be told "I want to speak to the manager" to which I'd often turn around, or go behind a wall; and then take my hair down/put my hair up depending on how it was; and walk back out like "hello I AM the Manager"
Then there's also a matter of like, how people talk. I grew up very proper; too fucking proper. To the point where I was raised around people who had this idea that they were the smartest, most amazing person in the room; and they didn't care about you or what you had to say unless you somehow believed yourself better. It was extremely pretentious bullshit and it's given me an unfortunate dislike for speaking formally when not necessary.
So much so that I often would tell my co-workers "we're not corporate, your jeans are ripped and you're wearing a hoodie, if you're going to dress street we're going to talk street. Don't come in here with all that corporate bullshit and tell me about productivity and shit. You want to talk like that, come back in here with a suit; or at least a damn button up. If you can't afford corporate clothing, it's because you're not being paid enough to warrant corporate worries. Since you get paid more than me, if you want to be all corporate about it; take it up with someone of your pay grade." Because I got really tired of basically being insulted and belittled by people using flowery language that higher ups didn't mind them saying.
My point is once again that with an anon, I don't know how to read the room. If my friends are talking too formally for me I can sort of interject with "hey uh, what's all the suit talk about? We're friends, talking on discord/[website] you don't have to talk like that." However with an anon, again this might come across as rude or unnecessary; since it would come across as though I'm specifically calling someone out as being "pretentious" or "snobby" even if that's not my intention.
I do believe there's a certain level of like, "shit" you gotta be willing to put up with when you talk to people online. However I don't think people should be rude or whatever.
I think it's best that people try to be respectful and understanding of each other; however I also think that it goes both ways. Someone deciding they want to use a certain tone with me is fine; that's their way of speaking but at the same time I should also have the right to say "you sound kinda stuffy and I don't know what to make of it but it kinda makes me feel like we're in some kind of corporate board meeting and not just chatting in my tumblr askbox."
It's one of those things where if that sounds rude then I don't know what to do because while I know everyone and their brother likes to say "I'm autistic" on this website; this is one of those cases where I'm literally very autistic and often have trouble communicating things in ways that don't seem/sound confrontational. Not an excuse mind you; it's something I've been working on for years. However it's why I have always had a hard time answering anon asks of this nature.
Because I don't know how to say "that's cool man but I don't know why you're coming to my inbox about it and sharing all of this with me because it's not really an ask and I don't know how to respond to it and it feels kinda like you could have just made a text post instead of using my inbox as a text post." Without sounding like I don't appreciate the interaction, but am just confused by it.
I honestly think it comes down to what an ask is, it's literally asking the person to respond to something publicly.
I allow anon because I get that some people are shy and ultimately when it comes to questions and the like (such as the previous ask of this anon) I like to give people the ability to just kind of, ask a question without having to "out" themselves.
However I don't get the same luxury of anonymity when answering an ask. Which means if I react poorly in the public eye I get a reputation. I'm being put in a position where I have to figure out a nice way to comment on a comment that I honestly don't really have interest in, without seeming rude.
Which typically results in an ask/response like this one, kind of all over the place; unstructured; and likely going to receive some form of hate.
I don't OFTEN openly talk about it because I don't see much point to, but I get my fair share of anon hate; I do my best to just kinda block people and such but at the same time I still have to see that when I speak my mind on something even something as casual as "I don't know why you're bringing that topic to my inbox" I get a ton of people flooding my ask box with everything from understandable but unnecessary comments like "you should appreciate that anyone even wastes their time on you" and "if you don't want to answer shit just close your ask box" to things like classic anon hate messages.
Hence why I don't want to be rude to anyone who's sending a message like this, you don't mean any harm in it; I assume you're just excited to talk about something like this with someone. That being said I don't ever know how to respond to things like this. Because even if I was significantly more into LoR than I am (like don't get me wrong I like it a lot but I'm not like; super super into it or anything); this doesn't ask anything of me, it's just like asking me to make react content basically? I don't know.
Anyways I don't mean anything bad by any of this; admittedly I'm not in a great mental headspace which is likely not doing me any favors; but I get a good few inbox messages like this that I just don't know how to respond to; and I sort of wanted to say something about it.
That being said I do appreciate you sending me asks and such, it's fun to know people actually read the shit I put out there; it's nice to feel like I'm not just wasting my time or whatever.
Yea I got nothing to say really. Sorry
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oh god re: dick supposedly being a womanizer. That interpretation had an uptick lately because of the whole TTA/Nightwing miscommunication fiasco and GOD. Also, correct me if I'm wrong as I've not read the relevant comics super recently, but people seem to think Dick has commitment issues but personally to me he seems like he has the opposite problem in relationships. He tries to make them work long after he should let them go (and indeed its usually his girlfriends who break up with him).
Yeah, we're not going to talk about the TTA/Nightwing miscommunication, which is happening entirely because the writers didn't bother to talk to each other and clear up timelines to ensure that Dick wasn't cheating on either Kory or Babs with the other.
Anyway, you're right and you should say it! Dick's single biggest issue re: romantic relationships is that he takes every single relationship super seriously to the point where he stays in them far after he should have initiated a breakup. Dick has the opposite of commitment issues; he has over-commitment issues and I'm pretty sure that you're right in saying that basically every time he's broken up with a love interest (at least...pre-reboot), they initiated it.
It's true for Kory and Babs, at least: Kory decided to return to Tamaran for awhile after her and Dick's failed wedding and the Evil!Raven arc, initating the breakup there, and Babs initated both breakups that happened between her and Dick (the first time breaking up with him during the entire Blockbuster-Tarantula nonsense because...well, there was a lot of shit happening there and it would take a lot of time to explain, and the second time she returned her engagement ring to Dick during the acursed Nightwing Annual #2 that literally everyone wants to pretend doesn't exist, because she thought he wasn't ready to get married and needed to "figure himself out" first).
There's also a ton of panels where he's pretty explicitly laid his mentality about sex and relationships out on the table, which I find fascinating since his mentality is basically "I take my relationships super seriously and commit whole-heartedly to every single one, I need genuine time in-between each one to get over the last one, and I'm not about to have sex with someone I don't genuinely love." Here's a couple from the 80s Teen Titans run:
"You also have to understand that I just came out of a romance with someone I thought I cared for. That's why I've been putting you off....You see, I only think I may love you. I mean...not just as a friend. I mean...in a romantic way. Lord, I don't know what I mean. I really need time to sort out my emotions."
"My morality makes me a one-woman man. And you're that woman. you always will be."
"I gotta be honest, Roy--I couldn't make love to someone I didn't really love." "Different strokes, pal. You'll probably go to heaven while I'll sport a perpetual tan!"
So....yeah: Dick is not a womanizer, and in fact if you were going to categorize him, you'd probably sort him into the "hopeless romantic" category because of how seriously he takes the whole concept of "being romantically involved with someone."
Granted, these over-commitment issues do create some extremely funny situations, like that time Dick and Helena Bertinelli had a one night stand (super uncharacteristic of him, it was a whole thing) and Dick tried to like....legitimately take her out afterwards:
"There is no 'us,' Nightwing. There was just one night when you were feeling lonely and I was feeling alone. Let's call it an agreeable indiscretion and leave it at that." "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. I don't do things on a casual-"
Dick is legit like "okay so are we dating now or something?" out of sheer obligation and Helena's just like "we fucked, Boy Wonder. It was fun. Let's move on." I hated everything about that one-night stand except this conversation, because it was both a) objectively hilarious and b) extremely in-character for Dick to try and make the whole thing mean something other than a fun night. A for effort, Dick. You tried and I love you for it.
#dick grayson#nightwing#dc comics#dc meta#batman meta#dick grayson meta#asks#long post#DICK GRAYSON TAKES HIS RELATIONSHIPS VERY SERIOUSLY#HE IS NOT A WOMANIZER PLEASE STOP PORTRAYING HIM AS ONE
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BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A
Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.
Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.
lol what
I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass
also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go
IIDA ANGST
Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida
meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”
“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still
“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT
yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue
okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol
LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL
“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then
oh, ouch
he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan
by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree
and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez
anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol
OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??
FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent
so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient
mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!
FUCK YEAH
okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?
in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no
oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!
poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol
omg. well that answers that
so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own
BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR
and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible
(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.
and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)
by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol
WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI
YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR
okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward
dskfjfkk
“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”
actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol
(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)
whoa lol wtf
MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT
-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK
“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao
and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices
poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg
“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS
FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU
THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami
okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces
um excuse me this is fucking awesome
wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk
TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY
WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE
and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji
KAMINARI OMFG
it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice
aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself
do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude
oh shit the mask!!
-- oh shit the feels
o(TヘTo)
fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...
and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance
(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.
incidentally, as @class1akids pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)
anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!
“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal
p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked
ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last
okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago
but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once
and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama
and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED
#bnha 320#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#asui tsuyu#tokoyami fumikage#kaminari denki#todoroki shouto#class 1-a#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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Are you into my hero academia? What about an AU or crossover with tua?
UHHHH I am technically, like, peripherally? I watched some seasons of the show like two or three years ago and since then have simply absorbed all content through osmosis, reading fanfiction that has canon events, and my sister telling me about the arcs of her fav characters lmao
so a crossover hmmm
First of all you'd have to like, establish whether bnha is an alternate universe or just The Future If No Apocalypse with quirks being traced back to the descendants of the kids born without mothers
So let's say it's that - the glowing baby was the "first quirk" but the truth is people had powers before that. But - well, the Umbrella Academy was obviously a marketing gimmick to those in the future! There were even comics based on them
In the future, you might find some of those comics in museum exhibits dedicated to depictions of powers in the pre-quirk era, but they're just fun depictions and much less popular than, oh, DC or MCU comics which are also in the exhibits!
End of s2 doesn't happen I guess in this au?? No sparrow academy at least lmao. So, the Umbrella Academy stop the apocalypse (again) and the Commission threat is? Neutralized? Whatever. They decide to jump back to the future
Five warns them that time travel is a crapshoot, that he has no fucking idea when they'll land beyond some nebulous "future" because Five can at least control the direction if not exactly how long
Also, Five is like. Super tired. Incredibly tired. Homeboy still has a healing gut wound, time traveled twice, has been jumping all over the place, gotten even more injured, experienced paradox psychosis, and managed to undo time all in the space of like, two weeks. There actually more than that but we don't have time to get into how fucking tired Five is from his ~Month of Hell
Like genuinely this is like putting someone almost delirious from lack of sleep in the driver's seat of a car and expecting to get to your destination in one piece
But hey, the siblings are like "do it uwu" and Five has sacrificed everything for them already so why not get behind the wheel again
So Five jumps them, and of course something goes wrong because Five has pushed his powers like a great big rubber band and honestly it was only a matter of time before he lost his grip and it snapped back to hit him
So here be the umbrella academy: spilled out into the future like a cup of bad coffee.
Five probably isn't in too good of shape tbh, like they're hundreds of years in the future (but hey at least confirmation of no apocalypse am I right) in a world full of superpowers and Five is like. bleeding from his ears and nose probably idk
Let's handwave a little bit - Reginald made them all polyglots so the squad all speak varying levels of Japanese. Allison is the best at it, Five is second best but tends to use more archaic words bc he had missions in Japan back when he was with the commission, and Klaus is third best.
(Ben is the worst bc he decided when he was 16-and-dead that he didn't have to do anything regarding lessons and maintenance and hasn't given a shit since - but also he's dead so)
So you have a bunch of weird adults with a bleeding child in like, an alley who have appeared from nowhere
so of course heroes get involved
Anyway, the squad get taken in and Five is conscious but like, barely? And he's not going to let himself get separated from his siblings again fuck-you-officer and there is a lot of confusion
anyway detective tsukauchi ends up getting involved and ends up having to hear this batshit story and be like "...truth." which sends all kinds of people scrambling because fucking time travel? Like yeah, it's been theorized to be a possible quirk but there's no recorded cases of any sort of time travel that is for more than 24 hours let alone hundreds of years
"I'm an adult." Five says sourly, "I just happened to be returned to my 13 year old body when I time traveled one time."
"True." Tsukauchi says, feeling his soul leave his body, but like. absently. the way he does when he's called in at 2am after getting off of work at midnight.
"I'm 58." Five says.
"Lie." Tsukauchi says, because this is a headcanon hill I will die on.
"I'm probably 58, but it was hard to keep track. I'm at least 50." Five corrects.
"True." Tsukauchi sighs like these six (seven? they keep referring to another sibling and Klaus said 'ghost' like that was fine and it registered as true and Tsukauchi is not nearly paid enough for this) are not giving him a migraine by just existing
on the bright side there's like, probably protocols in place for individuals who are Legally Chronologically Adults but thanks to quirks are Not Physically Or Not Mentally Adults with tests to determine if the individual needs a guardian or not
though i'm gonna be honest idk if Five would pass the test bc he literally cannot take care of himself at all, has never paid taxes or understands how to exist legally, and also his emotional maturity is stunted as all hell. also like. we don't actually know how much being in his thirteen-year-old body affects his mental state but yeAH Five is vibing
anyway Tsukauchi probably phones a friend on this bullshit because Time Travel Child alone is probably enough for the Hero Commission to be like "find a way to control and use it or nuke it from orbit" and that's not even touching whatever the fuck Klaus is doing (shit gets real once 'dead men tell no tales' stops being true) let ALONE Allison's whole deal
on the bright side like, at least Vanya isn't getting side-eyed that much bc Big Destructive Quirks aren't exactly unknown? if vanya wanted to i guess quirk suppressors exist for that until extensive training on how to control a super powerful quirk happens
Tsukauchi in the group chat: Aizawa please I am literally begging you to take this bullshit on
Aizawa: in this economy? with my class?
RatGod: lol we'll take them ;3c
Aizawa: no
Anyway they probably end up having to live at UA while Five insists on trying to get them home still and everyone else is like "oh hey we used to be child soldiers as well! (:" and Aizawa is like "i hate everything about this and everything about all of you but also like nedzu is making me interact with you so :/"
nedzu is out here vibing like "lol i just don't want the hero commission to get their little paws on these time traveling fuckers, i think you should make then teaching assistants or something"
honestly the siblings are probably like. figuring out how to function in the bnha universe and getting like, legally registered and stuff while Five ferally refuses bc that's like saying he's giving up on getting them home and he can do this
Recovery girl tries to heal him a little when he arrives and he passes out for two weeks like, immediately bc homeboy is running on fumes and spite at this point
also i think on principle it would be REALLY FUNNY if the squad got to tag along with the class bc like. Five is thirteen and the class are all 15. this does not sound like a large age gap. anyone who has interacted with teenagers know that the class would squint at Five and be like "who is this sassy lost middle schooler."
I feel like when I was a sophomore we were still like "freshman... babie" even though we were literally only one year older.
i think the difference between the umbrella academy and school kids would be pretty funny like. objectively the bnha kids are lowkey child soldiers?? like they're 15 and fighting villains but like, there's all this red tape and laws and stuff but,,, deku still be breaking his limbs in a child fighting ring against equally superpowered children for like. entertainment and sponsorships sooo
but also like Five would be like "oh cool when is the experimentation class"
"the what"
"you know, when your powers are pushed real hard by putting you in different terrible situations while your dad and sibling stand by with clipboards writing down the exact voltage it takes before you can't use your powers anymore when being electrocuted"
"hound dog's office is right there. therapy is available to you at any time. i need you to know this."
all might calls Luther "my boy" like one (1) time and Luther just breaks down crying probably because he is starved for positive attention
klaus and midnight get along like a literal house on fire, aizawa tried his best to keep them apart for as long as possible but god damn
(klaus: your name is shimura nana??
all might: immediately dies choking on blood)
i feel it absolutely necessary to point out that aizawa, present mic, and midnight are all like, 30? and the umbrella academy are all between 29-early 30s? they are PEERS but like. the umbrella academy are more chaotic due to childhood trauma
the umbrella academy probably get offered to like. also train to be heroes. i mean,, there HAS to be some sort of track for people who change careers right?? you don't have to cement your future as a hero when you're 15 i'm sure there must be something and the squad already have experience if they want to go be legal heroes
diego probably does at least?? diego just vibes honestly. diego gets momo to make knives during a team exercise and they just go feral on everyone else and it ends with diego highfiving momo and someone getting way to close to being stabbed for comfort
Five might just be. legally enrolled as an Actual Student? But also i think it's funny to picture the entire squad just. all in the back of the classroom with luther trying to fit into a high school desk as they take notes on the laws of The Future surrounding heroics
every word out of the umbrella academy's mouths just make everyone more concerned on principal but like, five and klaus are probably the worst offenders. Klaus just says whatever comes to mind with no filter and Five doesn't get what people would consider to be abnormal anymore like
Five: yeah our dad bought us when we were babies and experimented on us throughout our childhood in order to make an elite team of child soldiers superheroes, it happens
Todoroki: ...have you heard of quirk marriages?
izuku probably has an aneurism bc he's is the only person who might recognize them from the comics because you know ya boy extensively researched the idea of heroics in pre-quirk eras (batman was an inspiration alright???) and might dredge up a memory of a less popular comic series
Five: I can time travel but it is very hard, which is why we are hundreds of years in the future. And why I look like a child.
Kaminari: so are you a kid or not?
Five, serenely: whatever is most convenient for me at any given moment
Mina: hell yeah game the system
they have a brief lesson on astronomy and Luther raises his hand like "ooh! i was isolated on the moon for four years and did SO MUCH research" and then just gets up and starts infodumping like way too much information on the moon
Izuku sitting there like "damn if quirks hadn't popped up we could have achieved so much in terms of space travel. please tell me more giant man who lived in pre-quirk era."
Vanya finds out about the quirkless and is like "oh mood that genuinely sounds like my childhood, being ordinary in a house full of extraordinary people, and then i found out that i did have powers but only much later in life after i had already been emotionally scarred by the experience"
deku: vanya we have so much in common
iida and uraraka: concerned noises
aizawa: hound dog. therapy with hound dog for all of you.
there's probably some conflict with like, the hero commission wanting to get their hands on the time travelers?? but probably especially five and klaus as a) time travel and b) ghosts (the hc def has bodies they would like to stay buried)
five has a pavlovian reaction to anything with 'commission' in the name and hates them on site, probably plays into his age in order to become a ward of UA or something to protect him from the commission a little bit.
(this makes nedzu Five's legal guardian. aizawa has his resignation papers all prepped in a drawer marked 'in case of emergency' but let's be real, if nedzu wants to take over the world aizawa should probably be on the rat-bear's side of things :/)
five: ah, i do recall the inhumane experimentation that we were subjected to
nedzu, who was experimented on: haha same hat! want me to dig up the location of reginald hargreeves's remains so you can spit on them?
klaus: nah no worries we dumped them out in the courtyard unceremoniously like, a while back. how long ago varies for each of us because of time travel!
luther: you said hound dog's office was down the hall and to the right?
on the bright side, Luther probably feels like. way less self conscious about his body, partially bc of his fighting and all that in the 60s but also bc !! now he genuinely doesn't feel like a freak. no one even gives him a second glance. one of the teachers looks like a slab of cement with a face. gang orca looks Like That. there is literally a student with an entire bird head and goth aesthetic. Luther does not stick out at all
allison and shinso bond over having "villainous" voice-based quirks
allison and shinso having worn muzzles at some point in their youth as punishment 🤝
aizawa probably helps train vanya as well with the whole, being able to erase a world ending quirk safely thing he's got going on which makes for a very nice safety net
i don't think vanya would want to be a hero at the end of things though. maybe the assistant teacher in the music class or something?? all vanya wants is to be able to not end the world
i feel like as time goes by, five brings up trying to get home less and less. part of that is because like,,, genuinely what do they have to go back to?? Allison has Claire, but like. I'm 100% sure the first thing she did in the future was try track down Claire's records and found out Claire was like. fine. became an adult, had a family, probably became the ancestor of the first "quirked" kids who officially popped up after light baby. had a good life, died at an old age etc. etc.
they start settling into the bnha world with like, "we can always hop aboard the five express into where the fuck ever" as a plan Z if things go completely pear shaped (again)
i'mma be real, five himself doesn't give a fuck as long as there is a) no apocalypse and b) his family is alive. Like that's it. His bar is so incredibly low and yet his life keeps fucking trying to limbo under it
i just think it would be funny to have like, Five trying to get along with his "peers" and make friends while the siblings do the same but like, in the staff room
also think it would be funny for five to just walk into the staff room and get coffee occasionally.
a teacher: why is a student in here -
Five, sipping coffee: i'm an adult
nedzu like "what kind of guardian would i be if i didn't teach my new son all the tunnels around ua so he can pop out wherever"
five like "hey new dad can i put stashes of supplies all around ua of weapons, money, food, and other assorted things that might be useful if one needed to fight or make a run for it" and nedzu is like "haha just put your list of what supplies you want in your go bags on my desk and i'll critique it later!"
anyway a bnha/tua crossover would be incredibly chaotic but probably very funny
#long post#far tua long#tua bnha crossover#what kind of disaster is this#there are so many characters in bnha to even consider#there is no more apocalypse so five either chills the fuck out or his paranoia ramps up to an eleven#or both!#five teleporting into nedzu's office like: hey i wrote a 52 page potential contingency plan for if x happens#and nedzu is like 'wonderful!' and gives it back to five the next day with corrections and critiques in red ink#klaus ben and ghost!nana get along like a house on fire even if she keeps telling klaus that he's too skinny#ben: klaus is an absolute fucking idiot with zero braincells#nana nodding sagely while looking at all might: ah yes i know the exact type#diego and snipe become absolute bros like ride or die because why not#luther gets positive reinforcement and goes to therapy#also thirteen listens patiently to luther infodumping about space because i think that would be nice#five is either like 'i'm only thirteen uwu' or 'i'm fifty eight' and there is nothing in between - only what is most convenient#i feel like kaminari and mina vibe with five's brand of chaos#iida doesn't know whether to murder five for being a gremlin and disobeying so many rules or to be respectful bc five is technically old#aizawa is SO TIRED y'all#aizawa thinks vanya is going to be the good hargreeves but PSYCHE all the hargreeves are equally chaotic in different ways#five calls nedzu 'dad' for the sole reason that it makes every teacher and/or hero in earshot cringe in automatic fear#klaus also calls nedzu dad because he just thinks it's funny#five and nedzu have similar coping mechanisms so they vibe but nedzu also vibes with klaus's sense of chaotic humor#five gets talked into healthier coping mechanisms by way of 'keeping his cover' or 'preventing the hc from getting their hands on you'#aka five is not allowed to drink alcohol#five HAS gone to midnight and been like 'hey teach knock me the fuck out my brain is working overdrive and i need to not be awake anymore'
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May 31
summary ~ on the last day of your senior year living together, you're still fighting your feelings for your roommate jungkook. before you can fully move out and move on, he makes a pretty significant scheduling error. #and there was only one bed
genre ~ fluff, smut / roommate!au, college!au, bit of crack/fake texts
wordcount ~ 5k
warnings ~ smut (18+), blowjob (oral: m receiving), nipple play, marking, penetrative sex, cumplay (sort of oral: f receiving), jungkook just goes hard as expected BUT IT'S SOFT? this is just super cheesy and cute with some hopefully hot smut
a/n ~ surprise oneshot! and they were roommates? and there was only one bed? this is all my fave tropes wrapped into one, i had a ton of fun writing it and i hope yall enjoy :')
~ read on ao3 ~
You walked up to your apartment door just as a boy from the class below you walked out—with a wave, a "see ya, Jungkook!" and what appeared to be the last piece of your roommate's bedframe.
"You...sold...your bed?"
"Well, sort of. I borrowed it from that guy for the year while he was studying abroad. So now I'm giving it back to him. Since I'm staying in the city for my new job, though, I wish I could have just kept it. Now I have to actually buy one," Jungkook lamented.
"I mean, okay, but why didn't you just wait to give it back tomorrow when we move out?"
"What do you mean? Today's move-out day. I was just waiting for my brother to get off work to help get all my stuff out of here. I was kind of wondering why you hadn't packed up more, but you've always waited til the last minute to pack for things." Jungkook grinned, recalling your friend group’s spring break trip.
Momentarily distracted by his dig, you defended yourself quickly before returning to the subject. "Hey! At least I always get it done in the end. Better than packing too soon and accidentally giving away your bed a day early. Your new lease doesn't let you move in til the first day of June, right? It's May 31st."
Jungkook's pretty doe eyes went comically wide. "31st? There is no May 31st. It's June 1st. Because yesterday was May 30th. Right?"
"Oh my gosh. You're joking. You have to be joking," you tried not to laugh as you pulled up your Google calendar. "Here, look," you turned the phone around to him. "May 31st."
"Shit," he breathed, pushing the soft shock of hair back from his frozen face. "What did I do?"
You took your phone back, already distracted by your texts as you reassured him. "Don't worry, it’s funny but it's no big deal, I'm just messing with you. You can sleep on the couch for tonight, you'll be fine."
Jungkook grabbed your wrist, making you look up from your screen in surprise. In sitcom-esque slow motion, he swiveled his head sideways and you followed his gaze to the living room, realizing—
"The couch was his too. I gave it back."
"Oh my gosh," you muttered, shaking your head down with a smile. Feeling a little braver on your last full day as roommates, you finally gave Jungkook the warning that had almost slipped out plenty of times over the year. "Jungkookie...you're really lucky you're so cute. Otherwise you wouldn't get away with nearly as much as you do in life.”
"I..." Jungkook dropped your hand, grinning at the usual nickname but unsure how to take the half-compliment. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I forgot about a whole day, I usually double-check my calendar. I can just take the floor for tonight, I guess? I'll go unpack my blanket again. Sorry, I don't want to be an inconvenience."
"No, no," you cut him off—against your better judgment, but determined to ignore your superficial attraction to him to be a good friend and roommate. "Don't be ridiculous, just sleep in my bed. I mean, if that's okay with you of course. It'll definitely be more comfortable than the floor." He nodded rapidly, eyes still wide but mouth perfectly flatlined like an emoji. "Okay then. No worries. Let's eat, I got us takeout for our last night but it's getting cold."
At the mention of food, Jungkook made a beeline for the plastic bags hanging on your arm, and soon you were back to normal—well, sort of. Eating slightly reheated noodles on the living room floor instead of the couch, you giggled over one last Friday night K-drama episode together and reminisced over all the best memories from your year as roommates. You missed the coziness of your couch more than you thought you might, or maybe you just missed the snuggles you'd shared in its corner on countless nights like this one.
Jungkook had always been cutely touchy with his close friends, but it had taken a while for you two to get comfortable. You had to admit you'd gotten spooked when you first met him, disappearing behind your door after a quick "hi, nice to meet you!" and furiously texting your friend and former roommate Jin in distress. He hadn't warned you the new guy he'd found for your apartment was, in your own words, "stupid hot." Jin had laughed you off, saying it hadn't even occurred to him because he just saw his former soccer teammate "JK" as a kid. To be fair, it probably truly had slipped Jin's notice—he barely believed anyone who told him how objectively attractive he was. But Jin was a good enough friend to both you and Jungkook that he took charge of dissolving the initial tension, immediately bringing y'all over for a "double housewarming" dinner party at the cute new place he now shared with his fiancée. (Thank goodness he'd finally listened when you'd told him she found him attractive. Even if it cost you a roommate of two years, you'd happily take credit for that relationship.) That first invitation had felt suspiciously like a double date, but Jin's cooking and hosting skills broke the ice nicely enough. After that, it only took a few more dinners and video game nights to initiate you into their casual rhythm of hair ruffles and backhugs.
Currently, Jungkook had his arm around you to offer a neck rub while you rested your head on his shoulder, hoping he couldn't feel your pulse beneath his fingers. "Ah, you're going so hard," you half-protested.
"I always go this hard! You never complain," he shot back with a teasing grin.
"Nah, come on, you're gonna leave a mark or something. At least check," you lifted your head, sweeping your hair aside. "Is it all red like Jin always gets?" you joked.
Facing away, you had no way of seeing it, but Jungkook's face had gone red too. "Uh...no, it's fine, it's fine." He glanced back to the TV and turned it off, noticing the episode had ended. "Sorry though, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm gonna go shower and get ready for bed."
"Hey, no, it's okay!" You tugged on his shirt as he got up, wanting to reverse whatever you’d done to make him seem so uneasy. "I'm not actually hurt or mad at you or anything, I was just messing with you. Again." You smiled lightheartedly, and his face broke into a soft nose-scrunch at the reassurance.
"Okay, good. I was gonna shower anyway though—so uh, see you in bed I guess?"
"Yeah same, see you in bed," you laughed, trying to maintain the ease in your facial expression until the moment he left the room, upon which your internal monologue immediately turned into "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."
You couldn't help thinking about Jungkook in the shower. And not even in the usual way that you couldn't help thinking about Jungkook, in the shower. As much as you hated to admit it, Jin was probably right about your feelings for your sweet, dorky roommate going beyond just physical attraction, or friendship. Jungkook was kind, respectful, smart, athletic, artistic, funny, really hot, and you already got along well enough to live together: he really was the ultimate boyfriend material. You were both pleasantly moderate introverts. He shared your same favorite dramas and brand of instant ramen. Even your parents loved him—wait, did they want you to date him too? A strict follower of every social rule that dictated not dating roommates, coworkers, best friends' exes, exes' best friends, etc., you had simply never allowed yourself to consider the possibility until now. You played back your conversations with Jin over the year and considered the sheer amount of the funny stories you told him, or situations where you asked for his advice, or surprises he'd helped you plan, or simply glowing, grinning descriptions of something new you'd noticed, that all ended up being about Jungkook. He'd never even had to bring him up. Damn Jin for being such a good listener.
~
Almost an hour later, when you were already in bed, Jungkook politely knocked on your door. He always took long showers, and tonight you couldn't decide whether you were thankful for the extra time to prepare yourself or even more stressed from the extra time to overthink.
"Come in," you called quietly. Jungkook shuffled into your room, toe-socked feet making their way to the side of the bed you'd rolled over to clear for him. Cautious, he climbed in, and you stayed safely facing away from each other for a while, winding down for the night on your phones like you both normally did in your separate rooms. So spaced out that you couldn't even detect Jungkook's additional body heat, you felt the chill of the air conditioning instead and kept adjusting the blankets to try and achieve maximum insulation.
Jungkook eventually spoke his first words since he'd entered. "Am I hogging the covers? I'm sorry."
"Oh no, you're totally fine, if anything I'm taking up more than you. I'm just always cold, so I usually sleep in, like, a three-layered burrito. But it's fine! Really, no worries."
To your surprise, Jungkook rolled over, propping his head up on an elbow to look at you. "Well...I...we could..." he started, swallowing when you turned to face him. "I mean, you could wear socks! Like I do!" He pulled a foot out from under the sheets and presented it to your face, cackling.
"I think the fuck not," you snorted, shoving the foot away and falling slightly on top of him as you both lost your balance in giggles. "You couldn't catch me dead in your weird-ass socks."
"That's the secret, though!" he insisted. "That's how I stay warm."
"You are warm," you realized. One of your hands had ended up on his chest, the other arm tucked in the side of his torso, and both were burning up. You supposed you'd settled into similar positions on the couch before but you'd never noticed just how much of a human furnace he was. Maybe it was because he hadn't been wearing his toe socks.
Neither of you said anything for a second. You could feel his heart beating at a slightly elevated but respectable rate, and while you wanted to pull away, if only to spare your own nerves, you also...didn't. You were too scared to stay like this, but too scared to move too. Jungkook seemed similarly stuck, blinking down at your hand on his chest, but eventually he unfroze to reach over it and drag you fully onto him by your shoulder. You simply let him handle you, not making any additional moves but silently enjoying the heat he seemed happy to provide. His hand spread over your back to press your torso to his, radiating heat through your thin t-shirt, and you suddenly grew self-conscious that you were braless. But of course you were, who wears a bra to bed? You were fine. This was fine.
"Are you okay? Is this warmer?" Jungkook asked, as gentle as his touch.
"Yeah! Yeah, this is fine," you responded, the answer muffled by your mouth's placement all too near to his neck. You could sense the heat coming off his skin from there too, but it contrasted with the mild coolness of his still-damp hair. It smelled faintly of floral shampoo, and the scent suddenly amplified all your nerves as the implications of how close he was hit you from head to toe. Even the soft fuzz of his socks brushed your bare legs, now intertwined with his. You weren't exactly small, but the warm solidity of Jungkook’s body under you made you feel fully enveloped by him. Though he'd shared a fair amount of skin with you through the course of your friendship, the intimacy of sharing your bed took every touch to another level, and being pressed so flush against him felt unbearable. You couldn't possibly process a whole year of pure pent-up physical attraction right now, much less any other feelings that may or may not have grown with it, especially when you knew he had no reason to feel anything back. And you were roommates. You just needed to sleep it off and then you could both move, and move on, in peace. Hopefully the odds of ever being stuck in a bed with Jungkook again would go way down after tonight.
Not bothering to get up and turn off the weak string of lights above your headboard, you just slowed your breathing and attempted to drift off to sleep. Pretending the deeper breaths weren't so you could get a better whiff of his soft, flowery hair, you laid still for several minutes, successfully ignoring your body's instinctual response.
Eventually, though, it became impossible to ignore his.
~
Jungkook wasn't that hard, okay. He wasn't a teenager; he thought he could control himself around you enough by now that he could just enjoy this last night without giving anything away. He almost felt bad when you invited him into your bed, sensing your reluctance and knowing it was his own fault that you'd had to offer in the first place. But he knew you wouldn't have asked if you weren't truly okay with it, and that confidence gave him the tiniest swell of hope that maybe you were a little bit more than okay. While Jin refused to give away any real insight into what you thought of him, he'd been teasing Jungkook for six months about his crush on you, eventually convincing him to try making your friendship into more once you both graduated and moved on to different roommates. He had just been planning to bring it up in a much better way than the semi that you could definitely feel against your thigh. You had both been silent about it for over five minutes, though, long enough that he could cross his fingers that you were already asleep. He probably didn't have to worry about a thing.
~
"Jungkook?"
You had finally worked up the courage to stop pretending you’d fallen asleep. You felt him freeze up under you—the defined abs that covered his tiny waist tightening, solid chest muscles contracting, and his thighs tensing to trap yours between them, all at once. You froze too, attempting to speak again but no sound coming out.
"_____, guess what!" he blurted to cut you off. Which was good, because you had absolutely zero plans for what to say after that.
"What?"
"It's after midnight," he said, jolting up to point to the digital clock on your side table. "It really is the first day of June now. So, according to the lease, we're officially no longer roommates. Crazy!"
"I mean...yeah," you affirmed, confused. "But also, we're literally sharing a bed right now. In the same room. So until that changes, I would probably still call us roommates." A little too amused by your own clapback, you raised your head to peek into his wide eyes and smiled, a big one that scrunched up your whole face.
And his dick twitched. Yeah, there was no way you could not notice that.
Before you could even finish your gasp, Jungkook spoke again. "I like you. I'm sorry. I like you. I didn't want to say anything while we were roommates because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, and I definitely didn't mean for this to happen, I'm sorry. You can totally not like me back and it's fine. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to tell you like this, I just...I like you. A lot."
Shocked into silence for a second, but galvanized by his unnecessary apology, you responded without thinking for once. "Don't say sorry. You don't need to apologize, it's okay. Oh my gosh, I had no idea. I really had no idea. I, uh, I think I like you too? Shit, okay, I thought you were really hot from, like, the day you moved in, and eventually it became more than that but I didn't want to make anything weird because, yeah, we’re roommates, so I pretty much tried to ignore it all year. But then Jin made me realize that you're basically all I think about—or talk to him about, shit, I must have been so annoying—"
"Jin? JIN?" Jungkook grabbed his phone from the side table and wasted no time in blasting off the last meme in his camera roll. You propped yourself up in his arms, both giggling at Jin's quick shot back.
Looking at him now, a big cheesy smile on his face even as he stirred under you, still a little hard, you nodded as if fully understanding for the first time. "Yeah. I like you too."
As he set down his phone and brought his hand around your back again, his smile faded into a smirk. "Wow."
"Yeah...wow," you echoed, nervous and awkward again. You felt your face grow warmer as he looked slowly to your lips, then back up to meet your eyes.
"Can I kiss you?"
Blinking, you shifted your weight back down onto him, bringing your face close enough to hear his intake of breath as your hips brushed his dick. "Can you do more than that?"
"Fuck," he whispered. "Yes."
Jungkook snaked one arm down to your ass and one arm up your back to the nape of your neck, holding you close as he kissed you for the first time, fiercely. He didn't waste another minute hesitating now that he knew you had both wanted this for a year. Passionate but not aggressive, he teased the seam of your mouth with the tip of his tongue and you instantly opened for him, gliding your tongue over his smooth bottom lip as his flicked up to the sensitive roof of your mouth. Squeezing your ass to guide your hips down in small circles against him, he tensed his other hand slightly into your hair and you moaned at the competing sensations. Jungkook broke away to absorb every beautiful noise you made as he discovered you, heavy eyes finding yours before he rolled over to pin you to the bed and bury his face in your neck. He smiled into your skin when you moaned again from the satisfying pressure of his full body over you, and carefully rolled his hips into yours as he covered your jawline in tender kisses. One of your hands carved through his thick hair. As you dug the fingertips of your other hand into his prominent back muscles, you suddenly realized you were both still fully clothed and you really, really did not want him to be. Tugging his t-shirt over his head and throwing it aside, you paused before letting him do the same.
"Wait. Take off your socks. I can't believe I didn't make you do that before any of this. I really just almost had sex with someone wearing toe socks. Kill me," you whined over-dramatically.
"Come on, that would have been hilarious. What a first-time story!" Jungkook said earnestly. "Sure you don't want me to leave them on?"
"Please take them off. Please," you only half-jokingly begged.
"You wanna take 'em off for me?" he teased, wiggling a foot in front of you.
"Fine, whatever it takes!" You flung his sock across the room, reaching for his other foot below the covers to get rid of the other one.
He fell on top of you, giggling again, but as soon as you shut him up with your lips he snapped out of it, eagerly deepening the kiss while his warm hands traveled up under your shirt. Smoothing over the curves of your torso and reaching up to firmly grasp your breasts, he moaned into you and you whined back as his thumbs brushed your hardening nipples. He was incredibly physically precise, each movement graceful yet sharp and intentional. You felt deeply lucky to experience this dimension of him, the most perfect and natural expression of his contradictory nature. Equally loving, giving, overachieving, and sensual—with a side of weird socks and Gen Z meme literacy—that was your Jungkook.
"I can't believe this is happening," Jungkook murmured as he pulled your shirt over your head. "I can't believe I get to see you like this. You're so—ohhh." He trailed off, taking in the fully naked glory of your top half for the first time. His head immediately ducked to your chest, sucking dark bruises into the low-lit hollow of your breasts. You squirmed under his hold on the dip of your waist, whimpering, but the grip of your hands in his shiny black locks let him know you didn't really want him to stop. Grinding against his now rock-hard dick, you eventually couldn't take the friction anymore and reached down to try and pull off both of your pajama pants at the same time. Jungkook just laughed.
He paused to help you out, rolling off of you to take care of his own sweatpants, and you kicked off your pajama pants and underwear as Jungkook slowly let his erection spring free above his waistband. You'd never thought a dick could be pretty before, but it honestly made sense that his would be as perfect as the rest of his body. "Fuck," you swore softly, mouth watering. Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you, and you scrambled to lick the tip as if on instinct, eliciting a much more emphatic "Fuuuuuck!" from him. He spread his legs to let you crawl between them, holding tenuous eye contact as you smirked at his sensitivity. Teasing a single finger up his shaft, you followed its path with your tongue and he let out a deliciously high, shaky moan.
"Please," Jungkook choked out when you approached him, lips pursed. He praised you breathlessly as you tightened a hand around his length and began to sink down. "You feel so good already. Fuck." Closing your eyes, you hollowed your cheeks to accommodate his generous size and dipped your head, sucking him in as far as you could go. He was so responsive, you learned what he liked quickly, and savored each whimper as you stroked his balls gently or swirled your tongue over his slit. You licked all the way from his head to the base and he cried out. Bringing a hand to the back of your head, he didn't quite hold you down, leaving enough slack for you to move if you wanted to, but you submitted to his touch and stayed a second with nearly his whole length in your mouth. And then you swallowed.
"Stop! Stop, please, or I'll cum." He pulled you off by your hair, bringing your forehead to his as you realigned your bodies. "You're so good for me," he professed warmly. "I wanna be good for you."
"Then fuck me," you surprised him by answering bluntly. "Please, I want you so bad."
Jungkook groaned, arching his hips up against you and coating his dick in your wetness. Bringing himself back under control, he pinned you under his thighs and reached down to open you up with a finger. You felt so much more relaxed with him than you had with any previous boyfriend or hookup, and he slid into your entrance fairly easily. You moaned right away when he brushed his thumb over your clit, and he responded with a muttered "Fuck it, you’re so wet already," pulling his finger out and stroking it up your folds as he lined up.
"You're on the pill, right? For your periods," he confirmed.
"Yeah, of course. You really think I'd let you hit it raw otherwise?" you shot back teasingly, trying to hide how touched you were that he remembered from a few months ago, when he'd driven you to pick up your prescription since your car was in the shop. That was your Jungkook.
"No," he said sheepishly. "You're smart."
You smiled up at him fondly, ruffling his hair. "You're smart too. And sweet. And hot. And your dick is enormous. It's kind of unfair."
"Unfair!" he protested. "How can I be unfair when you're perfect?"
"Perfect? Shut up," you dismissed him. "Now I know you're lying. You cheeseball."
"I'm not lying! You're perfect for me."
"Oh, so you're just a hopeless romantic. Where did that come from? What am I getting into?" you fussed playfully.
"Okay, we can make fun of each other later, like always, but right now can I just get into you?" Jungkook pleaded, directing you back to the task at hand.
"Oh my gosh. I can't believe this, you're worse than Jin. That was actually pretty impressive—" Surprised, you half-laughed, half-admired his wordplay, but were silenced by both his lips and his first few inches gliding into you.
Not yet breaking your kiss, just absorbing your moans into his mouth as he stretched you out, Jungkook eased himself all the way in. He drank in every detail of your body's response to keep careful track of your comfort. You tilted your ass up against him, absorbing the fullness of his big dick immersed in your walls, and he froze. "Pretty impressive?" he whispered.
"Jungkook," you breathed back in pure pleasure, too overwhelmed to sass back.
"Can I move?" he asked sweetly.
"Fuck. Yes."
Jungkook's brows narrowed as his eyes turned darker, and he snapped his hips up into yours once, twice, before setting a fierce pace that had you crying out with each stroke. He hadn't lost touch on your clit the whole time, and he began to circle his fingers to pleasure you there too, building up an almost unbearable tension throughout your whole body.
"Fuck...fuck! Jungkook!" you chanted. His eyes overcame their fluttering to meet yours. Jungkook stilled, then ground down on you in one big, slow, circle, drinking in your blissed-out expression.
"Harder?" he whispered. Jungkook loved a challenge.
"Sure, harder. Why the fuck not," you keened, high-pitched and desperate. He could split you in half at this point, leave you unable to walk for days, and you'd love it.
Jungkook made a small, delighted noise at your eagerness, kissing you quickly before flipping you over and positioning you on all fours, sheathing himself in you again. He ran his hands along your torso to clutch your breasts from underneath, holding himself up against you with solely the strength of his thighs and his core. Pulsing his hips into you carefully, slowly, to let you get used to the deeper angle, his fingertips skimmed your nipples tantalizingly, warming you further. He dropped one hand to prop himself up and slowly traveled the other down to your center. The lustful, elated exhale you let out when he rubbed your clit made him snap his hips forward, tilting you into the bed before you could engage your thighs to push back against his. Your continuous moans encouraged him that you were enjoying this just as much as him, loving how he remained fully attentive to your pleasure while pounding into you to pursue his own high. He fucked you like a high-intensity workout, pushing his unreasonably built body to its limits of speed and strength. You couldn't help wishing you'd taken him up on more of his offers to hit the gym together, but he seemed to get off on your breathlessness, wanting to give you his all and push you past your limits too. His fingers working as quickly as his hips, heat swelled up inside you, and when you felt sure that the tension in your core was about to break, you turned your head to cry out to him.
"Jungkookie, Jungkook—nhngh, I'm gonna cum."
"Ahhhh," he moaned. "Me too, _____. You feel so amazing, ahh—you're so perfect for me." The praise warmed your heart and your core, and soon you came around him with a long, drawn-out whine. He fucked you deep through each spasm, sending you into hot, heady overstimulation as he shuddered and emptied himself into you. When you finally collapsed under him, legs sore and shaking, he pulled out of you gently and lowered his lips to your lower lips with great care. Jungkook meticulously kissed from your swollen clit to your entrance, soft as a whisper, and you breathed out in overwhelmed bliss as his tongue emerged to tenderly nudge every drop of his cum into your opening. The gesture of aftercare, just as soothing as it was inexplicably hot, bloomed an affection within you that almost made your heart hurt. You rolled over, stretching your legs out, and he looked up at you from between them. His hair was a beautifully sweaty mess, and he smiled in sweet satisfaction with your wetness adorning his chin. That was your Jungkook.
"Don't go anywhere," he said softly, kneading your thighs with his hands.
"Well, I have to do the whole pee-after-sex thing. But after that, where would I go? There's only one bed in this apartment now," you couldn't help teasing.
"Hey! If I hadn't given away my bed, none of this would have happened," he complained cutely, pulling himself up to big-spoon you. “Just stay with me.”
"I will. I know," you murmured back. "And I'm so happy you did." You shifted back, closer against him, and he buried his face in your neck.
"You know, I was gonna miss being roommates so much," he said thoughtfully. "But I'm so okay with not being your roommate now if I get to be your...your..." He grinned into your shoulder, suddenly too shy to say it.
You turned to face him, holding his pink cheeks in both of your hands and kissing his nose. Knowing this would be just the first intimate moment of many made you both flush with an easy, sweet joy.
"My Jungkook. You're my Jungkook."
#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader smut#bts smut#bts fanfic#roommate!jungkook#roommate au!jungkook#bts fic#bts imagine#bts imagines#jungkook imagine#jungkook imagines#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#jungkook#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#my writing#fic: may 31#may 31
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untouchable | vii
Atsumu x Reader
desc: in which an accidental run-in with pro volleyball player, Atsumu Miya, at a 7/11 leads to a strangers-to-lovers situation… but the catch is, you have no idea that he’s famous.
warnings: slight language, anxiety
wc: 3.2k
part 6 ⚬ part 7 ⚬ part 8 (coming soon)
untouchable m.list
—
“Here ya go.”
Osamu sets down a small cup of water, letting it clink against the bar’s granite surface. There’s no ice in it, but you can tell by the condensation on the glass that it’s cold. Osamu tosses a plastic straw toward you and it lands conveniently right next to your cup.
Throwing him a quick smile, you reach to take a sip but pause when you hear the click and gentle hiss of a drink can.
You’d know that sound anywhere.
It’s a reminder of street vending machines and roadside shops. Of summer walks on hot pebbled pathways and after-class escapades with old high-school friends.
But, just to be sure, you glance over to study the object in the hands of the man next to you.
Yes, you confirm, Miya Atsumu has indeed brought a can of green tea into his brother’s restaurant. And, yes, you are quite amused.
You choke down the rising laughter in your chest, though you can’t hide the small smile creeping onto your lips. This is the dorkiest thing you think you’ve ever seen on a not-date before.
“Where the hell were you hiding that?” You tilt your head, leaning toward him to get a closer look at the drink.
“You’ll see.” Completely unfazed, he reaches for his coat, which hangs on the back of the chair, and digs into the pocket…
And, if what you’re seeing is true, he’s just fished out a second can. The paper covering the aluminum has a pink, floral print and reads, “Matcha-” but his thumb covers the rest of the lettering.
“What? Did you want one?” Atsumu tilts his head and places the can next to your water glass.
You stare at it, curious about two things.
The first thing being his massive fucking pockets. They must be something of a void for him to fit two whole cans in the same pouch. Well, it’s more like you assume they were contained in a single pocket. Otherwise, you would’ve noticed a sloshing, aluminum object bumping up against your side as you two walked arm-in-arm.
The second thing that struck you is that he actually thought to bring two. Did he plan on drinking both? Was it originally for his brother? Or did he intend to offer you one right from the start?
You do happen to like this brand of tea.
Atsumu leans back into his chair, tossing an arm over the back of the seat. “My friend tells me it’s good for digestion,” he explains and takes a sip.
“My digestion is just fine, thanks. You can keep it.”
Your eyes crease in mirth. He has some interesting friends, that’s for sure. And why does he care about digestion? He’s fit and muscular and... is he constipated or something?
Yeah, that’s not something you should ask about.
“I’m gonna try not to imagine what else you could be hiding in those pockets,” you say, twisting your face in concern and pinching your eyebrows together.
Atsumu grimaces, shifting in his seat. “Did ya have to say it like that?”
“I think I have every right to say it like that. You could be a freak for all I know.”
“Um, I think it’s entirely possible that you’re the freak here.” He shoots right back at you through mock-judgmental eyes.
Your jaw drops in amused surprise. You shove his arm playfully, but his balance hardly wavers. He grins in response, golden eyes glimmering. Your hand lingers briefly as you mimic his smile, but you notice and drop it quickly.
“Gettin’ comfortable now aren’t we?”
A faint flush dances across your skin. Maybe you were being a little touchy… but flirting hasn’t been this fun in so long. Anyway, he was the one who had you walking arm-in-arm with him earlier.
That thought alone makes your heart jump.
You look away, grasping the straw in your glass and twirling it around. “You got all comfy first,” is all you can huff out.
“Well, yeah.” Atsumu places an elbow on the table and props his chin up with his hand, “I mean, this is a date isn’t it?” He takes another sip of his drink, acting as though what he said wasn’t headline news.
Huh?
So apparently this whole not-a-date but possibly-a-date situation had an obvious answer… to Atsumu that is. It still felt about as clear as rocket science to you though.
“Is it?” The words flow from your lips before you can stop them.
He blinks. “Hm.”
You swallow, “Is this a date?”
He gestures a hand at the two of you, “I mean... I thought it was.”
Well, yes. You’re both sitting across from each other. Neither of you knows the other well. Atsumu had taken you to his brother’s restaurant.
Everything that’s happened in the past hour screams, “date.”
And, yet, it’s all too strange.
Suddenly the wooden barstool is much less comfortable. You readjust, crossing your dangling legs. You can hear every uneven as it leaves your body - hopefully his ears aren’t too keen.
Did you really change the atmosphere with just a few words?
Should you have assumed that this was a date from the beginning? But you were protecting yourself…
Thank God Osamu is in the back right now. You don’t think you could handle someone else (especially your date’s brother) hearing this conversation. The embarrassment would be way too real.
“But if you’re not okay with it bein’ a date, then that’s okay.” Atsumu is quick to speak, straightening up in his chair. “I probably forgot to clarify…” He searches your gaze for any change in reaction.
Yeah, he’s probably not adept at these sorts of situations. But neither are you.
There’s a noticeable tint to his cheeks. You’re sure it must burn because your own face has already burst into flames. Great, you’ve made him feel like he’s screwed up.
Atsumu mumbles a quiet “shit” under his breath, which would’ve found funny if it weren’t for your own pounding heartbeat.
Dammit, how can you salvage this? You might as well be fanning a flame at this point. If you weren’t careful, you could burn this entire opportunity to the ground.
“Ah, that’s not what I mean,” You respond, waving your hands out in front of you, “I just- I don’t know, you never said anything about it being a date over text, so I just assumed it wasn’t. Not that I would mind it being one...”
If you keep talking, the words will only get more muddled. You clamp your mouth shut so as to not say anything ridiculous.
Suddenly, the blank wall opposite the blonde is very interesting. Maybe if you survive the next 5 minutes you’ll suggest that ‘Samu add some art pieces to soften the stark white paint. It might also make avoiding eye-contact a little easier.
Despite not wanting to face him, you can’t exactly ignore the man sitting an arm’s length away from you. You glance back to him, bracing yourself for a face wrought with confusion.
But Atsumu looks… amused? Relieved? The lines of worry on his forehead have smoothed back out.
Well, whatever emotion he’s conveying, it’s better than the ones you saw earlier.
“Alright, then how about you tell me whether you want this to be a date or not?”
You bite your lip in thought. Partly because a male has just respectfully asked you if you’d like to go on a date (a date you’re already on.) That, in itself, is a rare sight indeed.
But mostly because he actually wants to go on a date with you.
Did you really meet him only a month ago? Was he ever a stranger to you?
He’s a little too friendly for that. But friendly isn’t the right word. Atsumu is understanding. And simple… but in a good way. Things are smooth like velvet when you’re around him.
You, who’s been shit out of luck over the past few years. You, who had to frantically accept a less than ideal job after moving away from your entire support system. You, who tried to abate loneliness with blind dates and Tinder matches... but only ever ended up shoving breadsticks in a bag before escaping through the backdoor of a mediocre restaurant.
After all the tears and life changes and dating apps and heartbreak, you finally have a choice that you can make by yourself without any serious repercussions.
And it’s a simple yes or no question.
“I’m gonna say, yeah. This is a date.”
A grin that could light up the city of Tokyo spreads across his face. You don’t know why he’s so happy, but it’s making your heart do somersaults in your chest.
“That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” He grabs his drink, taking another sip.
Even you can feel the earnest smile on your face reaching your eyes.
“So, can I ask ya somethin’?”
You sit up in silent anticipation. “Uh… sure.”
Atsumu clears his throat, looks away from you and runs a hand through the waves of his hair. Given Atsumu’s display of nerves, someone watching from the outside might think that this man was either about to break up with you or propose marriage.
Thank God it couldn’t be either of those things. But your hands clasp at your thighs anxiously anyway.
“Why’d you want to see me again?”
You find yourself holding your breath, letting his question sink in.
It’s a good question. An important question. Why exactly are you here? With him?
You’re usually better about setting your intentions before you dive into something new. Plotting out big decisions has saved your ass a multitude of times.
But this opportunity fell into your lap at the most peculiar of times.
In all honesty, you didn’t give his request too much thought. Hell, you didn’t even ask him if he’d give you time to think about your decision.
Thinking back, you really should’ve been way more careful… but you’re already here.
You lean back into your chair and meet his gaze head-on.
“Do you want an honest answer? Or would you rather me make something up?” You ask, a glimmer in your eye.
“Oh, yeah I love bein’ lied to, go right ahead.” He throws you a look through squinted eyes.
You laugh, “I’m assuming that’s sarcasm.”
“And you’d be right.” Atsumu’s chin sinks back into his hand, awaiting your honest answer.
You give yourself a moment to breathe, leaning back into your chair and relaxing your body.
It’s best to keep things brief - you’d hate to overwhelm him with your own life. And something tells you he has his own complicated shit to deal with.
“I’ve had a rough few years here and my social life is about as interesting as a brick right now.” You glance over to him, “Plus you seemed a little weird. But fun.”
This is all true. But there’s so much more you’d like to say.
Stuff like,
“You’re so easy to be around.”
“Your voice is comforting.”
“I’ve felt like shit but you’ve given me something good to think about.”
“I feel a little less lonely lately and I think it’s because of you.”
But you know that would be overstepping some major boundaries. You’d play it cool and keep your thoughts to yourself for now.
“A bit blunt, but I’ll take it.” He quirks an eyebrow.
“Hey, you’re pretty blunt yourself.” You fake a frown, but can’t suppress your smile for long.
“Okay, sure, I’m not the most tactful… but you should’ve seen me in high school.” He sighs, eyes growing fuzzy with memories.
But he’s quick to snap back to the present.
You snort. “I bet you were a hoot.”
Osamu’s voice rings from the back, “He was a lot more than that.”
So he was listening in, your cheeks burn a little at the thought.
“Oi, shaddup, ‘Samu.” He lifts his head, calling back with a playful growl in his voice.
“I have video evidence, don’t tempt me to share it,” Osamu warns, but he gets back to business.
Your eyebrows raise. Now that’d be fun to see.
He notices your curiosity but is quick to furrow his brows. “Oh, no, no. I want you to get to know me, but not that well,” Atsumu says, slightly perturbed.
“Not yet, at least.” He adds, after a few seconds.
Your eyes soften.
That makes sense.
Although, you hadn’t even expected him to show you the videos. You’d just wanted to tease him a little since that seems to be something he’s very comfortable with. You like that it’s a “not yet” instead of a “never,” though.
But instead of continuing this part of the conversation, you divert to asking his question back to him.
“Well, I think it’s your turn to tell me why you asked me out.”
And you swear you must’ve just said something ridiculous because he looks hilariously surprised. Like a deer in headlights. A jammed highway of car-headlights with the brights on full blast.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d guess that he hadn’t even thought about it. That or he didn’t want to tell you.
Either way, you deserve to know at least this much. You wait with your hands placed patiently in your lap and a trained indifference in your eyes.
—
Okay, so maybe he’s not the sharpest crayon in the box.
Atsumu knows he has a good reason for asking you out… he really does.
But it wasn’t the kind of reason one could eloquently verbalize. I mean, shit, what does Atsumu do that is eloquent?
It was more of a gut feeling than anything else.
But he’s sure if he told you that he wanted to date you based on “instinct” that you’d laugh and promptly flee the restaurant like a prison escapee jumping the walls holding them captive.
He pulls himself together because he’s sure you can sense his discomfort. He’s never been great at disguising his emotions - he’d only ever learned to mask them with nonchalance and angry outbursts… and that’s a no-go when it comes to the press. Atsumu had to drop those reactions like a hotcake.
“I…” he swallows but gives a wry smile, “Y’see… I live a bit of a complicated life.”
He scans your face like he’s searching for his next words within your eyes. But you’re must be a blank page because they don’t come to him.
“Okay, now, don’t go telling me you’re wanted for some sort of federal crime.” You tease him as your lips brush against your straw, lightening the atmosphere in the process.
Atsumu’s lips open to let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding in. “Ah, ya got me. That’s exactly what I was gonna say.” He responds dryly.
“That’s so sad. And I really thought this was going well, too.” You hum and take a sip of water.
He clears his throat, loosening his shoulder with a stretch. For someone who’s lived most of his adult life in the limelight, he hasn’t had to talk about it much. People either know he’s famous or they don’t.
You’re so kind. You listen well. There’s something about you that he’s magnetized by. Something that continuously draws him back in.
So if you were to learn about his life and see him differently? It would be a door slamming into his face, sealing his fate to be a really fucking lonesome bachelor. Which is a funny concept until you are the lonely bachelor.
So what exactly is he supposed to tell you?
Out of habit, his hand reaches for his hair… but he freezes before he can run his fingers through it.
Because the words are coming to him like a lone flower petal drifting to the ground. Soft and solemn.
He asked you out because his chest hasn’t ached like this in so long.
The warmth you’ve brought him in such a short time flares inside of him; why should those flames to die down anytime soon?
Because when’s the last time he spoke with somebody new and felt so normal? He’d never craved simple conversation back in high school. Even in his early 20’s, he’d just been searching for quick flings and easy getaways - those were easy to manage and feelings almost never got involved.
But being with you is like honey to hot, bitter tea. Like chowing down on a hot meal when he’s hungry.
No, it’s not easy to explain, but your presence is somehow satiating to his soul. Osamu even said that he’s been “less of a dick” since he started talking with you, so that must count for something.
You don’t need to know all of that. That’d be really weird. But if you were already being honest with him (even if you hadn’t spilled your entire life’s story) then he can be honest with you.
But with this groundbreaking realization comes the hard part. Saying it out loud. And while he’s sometimes smooth in terms of flirting, he’s absolute shit at explaining himself.
The words come out slow and awkward. “I’ve been havin’ a hard time with… people.”
Okay, that’s not at all what he meant to say.
There are a million things you could’ve gleaned from that useless sentence. ‘I have a hard time with people?’ I mean, if that didn’t sound like a red flag, then what does?
“Oh, really?” Your eyes are wide and thoughtful and he swears he sees a glint of amusement flash through them.
Shit, this would be harder than he thought.
“Well, dating in particular, but that’s because my life is out of wack.” He presses on, but it only comes out worse.
Maybe he should’ve taken that communications class back in high school. It would’ve saved his ass in his interviews and, more importantly, here.
You nod along, folding your arms. “Mhmm.”
It’s both unfair and such a relief that you’re finding his verbal blunders funny.
“Okay, gimme a minute, this is comin’ out all wrong.”
“Take your time,” you smile and your eyes crinkle. “I’ll be here all night.”
But is it possible to soften what he’s about to say? To give you something to chew on rather than a bunch of information to choke on?
Being candid with you is the only fair way to do this. If he isn’t straightforward with you, you could end up getting hurt. Even being with you here at his brother’s restaurant is a risk — he should’ve thought through that decision better too. Not that he visits his brother there in person much, but it’s still not a gamble he likes to make.
Anyway, what’s done is done. He’s just got to tell you.
Atsumu sits up, resting his clenched fists on his thighs and knitting his brows together.
“Listen, I’m not sure how to tell you this…”
You shift in your seat, mouth closed and eyes fixed on his. There’s a tension in your posture, but he tries not to let it deter him.
“But I’m...”
—
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#miya atsumu#atsumu#atsumu x reader#will tag those on the tag list soon!#sorry for any grammatical issues - i'm up late and i can't see well... rly need a beta reader tbh#but i think i weeded out most mistakes?#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu imagines#atsumu scenarios#atsumu imagines#miya twins#osamu miya#hq x reader#untouchable series
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