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#i mean seriously how could you NOT read a book titled “the magic in the weaving”
lyndentree63 · 8 months
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Forever sad for the people in North America who didn't get the poetic titles for The Circle of Magic Quartet The Magic in the Weaving The Power in the Storm The Fire in the Forging The Healing in the Vine I remember moving to Canada, going to the library and shrieking internally when it was just "Sandry's Book" etc.
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pretty-little-mind33 · 3 months
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James Potter x muggle fem!reader
Summary: After months of dating, James finally tells you he's a wizard.
Genre: Fluff <3 / pt.2 to Enchanted
Warnings: tbh none
6 months later, James is sprawled out on your couch in your small London apartment. He's dressed in your university sweater, which hugs him snugly but he doesn't seem like he minds. You'd switched into his so he doesn't have much of a choice anyway.
He's pretending to really read the book he had found on your dresser but he keeps his eyes trained on how absorbed you seem in the show you're watching.
James sees the title; "Bewitched". He smiles to himself when he sees you try and wiggle your nose like Samantha does and you fall back onto James lap, sighing. 
"D'you think I'd make a good witch?" you ask suddenly and his heart almost collapses. 
He runs a hand in your hair, playing with the strands as he ponders your question, "Mmm, yeah, you would, lovie," he says and chuckles when you sit up and start to ramble. 
"I mean, can you just imagine having magic! I could–I could make all this mess disappear instantly!" you exclaim happily, gesturing to your slightly messy apartment, and then look into his eyes, "wouldn't having magic be fun, Jamie?" 
James frowns. You say it so innocently but he starts to wonder if you could know? It has been months.
He sits up, tilting his head at you. He's been wanting to tell you he's a wizard for a while now, plus James wouldn't admit this out loud yet but he knows he wants to marry you and you deserve to know the truth before he asks you to spend your life with him, don't you? 
"Y/n," he whispers but you interrupt him. 
"And I mean, flying on a broom! How silly! Can't you just imagine it?" 
James smiles, completely endeared, "Yeah, I can," he tucks some hair behind your ear and reaches into the back pocket of his jeans. He pulls out his wallet and you stare at him confused as he holds out a folded old polaroid. He hands it to you.
"What's this?" you ask curiously, crossing your legs.
At first, it looks like a simple picture of a group of boys. There are four of them and they look around sixteen if you had to guess. The tallest has his arms crossed and he's standing in the middle as the boy to his right, a shorter boy with long dark hair, has his arm swung around him. A short, stout boy looks timidly at the camera next to the taller one and next to him, what looks like a young James is happily grinning and holding up a fancy looking broom in triumph. James and the longer-haired boy are dressed in a maroon and yellow sports uniform while the other boys are dressed in simple school uniforms. 
The picture seems relatively normal for a second until it starts to move. James in the picture lifts the broom and the long-haired boy continues to hug the taller one. You gasp, dropping the picture onto the couch and it flutters to the back where you see written, "Prongs, Wormtail, Moony, and Padfoot, Hogwarts 1976."
"What the hell?" you whisper, voice breaking, and you think you must be imagining things. You look up at James, who is staring at you intently. "James? W-why did that polaroid just move?" you ask and James's stare softens. 
He picks up the polaroid and smiles, he shows it to you again. "That's me and my best friends at school," he says but when he looks at you, his smile falters. You look terrified, "Love, it's okay it's just a picture."
"No, it isn't. It's moving!" you say, leaning away from him a little.
James's chest tightens. "I know," he says seriously, "Promise not to panic, okay? But, I'm a wizard." 
He says it so calmly you're silent for a moment until you start to laugh. You laugh so hard tears brim in your eyes and James is concerned.
He holds your cheeks in his hands. "No, Y/n, I mean it. I'm a wizard," he stands and walks to his jean-jacket hanging in the entrance. He pulls out his wand and points it at you.
You look scared again when he mutters an unfamiliar word and suddenly, you feel a drizzle of snow fall over your shoulders and unless your ceiling disappeared and it's snowing in July, you know it has to be James. 
You let out a shriek and cover your mouth as your eyes widen. James lowers his wand and rushes over, the snow disappearing. "It's okay. I promise I won't hurt you, lovie," he pauses and carefully sits next to you. He's relieved when don't scoot away from him, "I couldn't keep this from you anymore. I love you. You deserve to know who I am."
You're looking at him intensely and you pick up the polaroid again, examining it closer. After a moment you look up and narrow your eyes. You press your index on where James is in the picture. "Why are you holding a broom?" you ask simply and James almost laughs. 
"Gryffindor had just won an important Quidditch match, I think."
"Gryff-what won what?"
"Um, my house- um. Quidditch it's a sport. Where you—um, ride a broom."
You look at him and James can't read your expression.
"You can fly on a broom?" you suddenly ask, sounding less nervous now. You look at the picture and then you crack a smile. "You do look cute all dressed up," you put the polaroid near his ear, almost as if you're making sure the boy in the picture is actually James.
Your boyfriend nods and looks at you wearily, biting his lip. He has so much he wants to say. "So, have you always been a witch—" you ask.
"Wizard," he interrupts but you ignore him.
"—or did some creepy troll turn you into one? Oh my, are you the only witch to exist?" you sound almost excited now.
"Wizard," James says and then takes the picture from your hand and holds yours in his. "And no. I'm not. All my friends and family are. You believe me, yeah?"
You think for a moment. "Yeah," you shrug, looking up at the ceiling and then the wand in James's other hand, "you did make it snow, didn't you?" your smile widens and you point at his wand as you say, "Can you make it snow again! Or show me another spell. Please?"
James hesitates but when he sees a small scab on your hand from where you'd cut yourself earlier, he mutters a spell he knows by heart from all the Quidditch tumbles he's had and the wound suddenly disappears. 
Your eyes widen and you hold up your palm awkwardly. You look where the scab had been, mesmerized as you run your fingers over the now, non-existent, wound. 
"I know this is a lot for you to understand now, lovie. But, I want to explain everything. Anything you want to know," he says seriously and you look back up at him. 
You ask question after question, the reality of the situation becoming even more intense as you hear stories from his school and how unfamiliar he had been about "muggles" until he'd met his ex-girlfriend and then, well, you. 
"So, wait, witches and wizards exist and we– muggles? –just don't know?" you say after his little speech and James nods. He's sitting criss-cross in front of you on your couch and he's running his thumb over your hand, hoping his gesture is reassuring. You look confused, "Aren't you gonna get in trouble with the—"
"Ministry of Magic for telling you?" James finishes, understanding what you're trying to ask him.
You nod. 
James shakes his head and looks into your eyes. "No, because I didn't just tell anyone. You aren't some random person on the street, lovie. You're my girlfriend and I love you. I'm glad you know," he kisses your forehead quickly and you lean up to catch his lips. 
"I'm glad I know too," you smile and caress his cheek. It's your way of showing him you don't see him any differently. You turn to the polaroid picture still in your lap and pick it up. "I can't wait to meet more of your wizard friends now," you smile. 
James smirks, a twinkle in his eyes. "You already have, darling," he says. 
You look closer at the picture and your eyes widen, "No way!" you exclaim looking up at James in disbelief as you start to recognize two of the other boys in the picture. "Remy and Siri too?!"
James chuckles and nods. You turn the polaroid over again and look at the names scribbled in ink. "Then what's up with the weird nicknames? Prongs? Is that you?" you deduce from the order. 
James hums and kisses your temple as he pulls you in closer.
"Why Prongs?" you ask, pointing both your index fingers and putting them on your head, "like little devil horns? Or a fork?" you giggle at the last suggestion and James is entirely enchanted by you. 
He looks at you fondly and chuckles, "Like stag antlers, lovie."
"Why?"
"Because I can turn into a stag, if I wanted to," James explains slowly, realizing he'd forgotten to mention that tiny detail.
"You WhAT?!"
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Danny Phantom doesn’t want to be king.
And the Observants also don’t want him to be king.
Frankly, very VERY few people want him to be king, dead or alive.
But opening the sarcophagus, even if it’s closed NOW, disrupted some magic protections. Until those can be fixed, summoning spells need to be answered by SOMEONE. Not all of summons, just like—once a month or so. Because if they don’t let that power outlet happen, all of those summon magics build up and suddenly Pariah Dark reigns again. Answering the summon basically dispels the built up magic, like opening a dam.
Again, Danny doesn’t WANT to do this either, but everyone else involved is a bad choice. He won’t even be named prince, because THEN that implies he COULD be king. He needs a title, of some kind, a position in the court, no matter how tenuous, so he can do the thing. Something where no one in their right or even WRONG mind would think to try to kill him for the position or try to marry him or something equally annoying to deal with.
So.
He becomes the Ghost Court Jester.
He even gets a fancy little outfit upgrade when he’s summoned, all black and white bell hats and shoes, a stupid little ruffle collar and black parachute pants, even face paint with a tiny dot of glowing neon green at the tip of his nose. The works. Better yet, if he hasn’t been ‘unsummoned’, his human form is just the exact same costume with swapped colors. He can change into his normal outfits, but until that circle has been disrupted, the next summon, or the next full or new moon, he’s stuck into the outfit when he first transforms from either form.
The Phantom Jester, which is a title more intimidating than Danny appears to be if we are to be honest, cracks jokes and never, EVER takes the summons seriously.
“Listen, I just had to get my hours in and it’s the last day of the lunar month, you got lucky I came at all.”
“I got the position by virtue of not wanting to go to Time Jail for a crime I technically didn’t commit and technically probably won’t but, well, eyes are the beholder of the grudge or something else equally cryptic to make you mad.”
“Is this a slumber party? … do you have cake? Bummer. Well, enjoy the bleeding walls then.”
“Whether I help you or not is entirely dependent on how well of a run down you can give me on this book I have to read that I have not at all touched.”
“Explain the reason in three sentences or less. I suggest less. And if it’s stupid I’m hitting you—oh you think this circle can contain me? Haha. It won’t.”
“Is that chicken blood? Why?? What did the chickens do to you?”
There are props in his costume but he literally never knows what he’s gonna pull out of his sleeves. Danny can’t even do a balloon animal and knows exactly zero card tricks, which would be more of an issue if the cards weren’t the size of a dinner plate. He barely even juggles and he’s honestly probably just utilizing his rarely-used telekinetic powers, but he does give people flowers if they haven’t been a total jerk. And if those flowers are like, rare and have seeds for propagation, well… he literally wouldn’t know. No, really, he doesn’t. He gets summoned by at least two ecology departments and he has no idea why, I mean, if he had a nickel—
He also had pies and is NOT afraid to use them.
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hypaalicious · 3 months
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Unpopular opinion: YA isn’t meant for adults.
Not saying adults can’t read YA; adults can read whatever tf they want. But it’s a huge mistake of mainstream publishing to allow YA to absolutely crowd out swathes of other subgenres to the point where articles such as this one get written in full seriousness.
Awhile back, there were teens on Tiktok lamenting that they can’t find media for them anymore. There were a bunch of condescending people happily shitting on them saying things like, “Uh, YA exists? These teen-centered TV shows exist?? Why are y’all lying lololol so dumb” instead of actually listening to these kids explain what they mean. Cause wow, it don’t bother y’all that despite all this hyper visible allegedly teen-centered media NONE of it is hitting for them? Y’all don’t stop to ask yourself why that is?
It’s because YA has become a fill-in for mid-range and adult fiction over the years. I can’t tell you how many synopses I’ve read that have sounded boss asf but then they make the MC fifteen years old and I’m immediately like
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And I wanna be clear, this wouldn’t be a problem if YA hadn’t oversaturated the literary field. On top of that, I do not see real teenhood reflected in these characters. They come off more like they’re written by middle aged adults projecting what they think teens are like through the lens of how they wish their own long-gone teen years went. So yeah, no wonder kids don’t feel connected to the media that’s labeled for them. Too many adult consumers are crowding that space tryna live vicariously through teen media, and since it’s adults that have the money more often than not, publishers cater YA to them rather than teens. That’s not okay, y’all.
Also, there is no reason whatsoever for some of these characters to be teens except to fit into a very narrow category set by publishers who just want a wide market to sell to. Example: when I was looking up comp titles for my manuscript, I came across a fantasy book centering a Black female character at a college discovering her hidden magical powers and a mystery hidden away at the college and was like “oh shit, this sounds dope!”
… then I read a snippet and for WHATEVER REASON, they made the MC sixteen. Sixteen years old, but going to college as an exception.
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It was just so obviously done as a way to slate the book under the YA label but narratively it made NO SENSE. Just make your character 18 or older if they gonna be in college! Oh, that’s right, you can’t because YA rendered the New Adult genre obsolete so if you can’t make your characters 14-17 then it’s not likely publishers will work with you. 🫠
Another problem I have with the whole “YA is for adults too!” thing is the fact that this does not serve adult literacy levels. Mind you, they’re already abysmal in the US in particular. But it doesn’t help when the only thing adults are encouraged to consume for fun are books written at a 5th-6th grade reading level. They ain’t reading anything adult anymore, either in prose or depth of content. And why would they when publishers are only making an effort to market YA as the 10-in-one shampoo type option to everyone who ages out of kidlit?
Different categories for different age groups exist for a reason, and the erosion & blending of these categories hurts the literary field a lot. We need to go back to the days where you could find age appropriate media for every stage of your life and actually connect with it.
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soartfullydone · 1 year
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Did you ever read ACOSF? What did you think of the twilight baby plot?
Everything I know about ACOSF I've learned against my will lol. One of my best friends kept a play-by-play of each chapter in a Google Doc, so she could spare me the reading experience but also so we could make fun of it mercilessly.
In all seriousness, I knew I was never going to subject my eyes to it directly because I hate Nessian with a burning passion. I one-hundred percent believe that Nesta deserves better than everything she got, and she should've been meaner actually. Even when I somewhat liked ACOMAF, I felt utterly indifferent to Cassian. Who is this bland rice cake taking up the space where Lucien should be? No good dialogue or anything out of that guy. And then SJM wrote Nessian into MAF with all the subtlety of a clown show, and it was over. Nesta hates him! Keep him away from her! If she doesn't kill him, I will!
Most baby plots are horrendous in fiction, and I hate them deeply also. They often reduce women to being pure idiots (why do I have morning sickness after unprotected sex? a mystery!) or they reinforce this false idea that women can only achieve ultimate happiness by having their One True Love's baby. Ah, the number of women I know who are stuck in unhappy marriages, their sense of self completely lost because being a Wife and Mother comes first! Can those things be fulfilling? Absolutely. But a lot of folks are selling a romanticized idea of both, and SJM is no exception here.
Because look at what the Twilight baby plot does. It takes away all of Nesta's power, asserts her feelings of worthlessness, and encourages her to be a breeder for Cassian, who never even told her he loved her in their romance book. It puts her firmly and forever under Rhysand's and the Night Court's boot. It confirms that Feyre has also lost all her agency, that the High Lady title is meaningless, that her found family and Court do not respect her, that Rhysand will lie to her and trap her if it serves him to do so. That, ultimately, her body does not belong to her and she doesn't have a choice.
What really gets to me, too, is that these two women have to change their bodies to accommodate their love interests, their supposed fated mates. Methinks if it was fated, if they really were perfect for each other, this kind of change wouldn’t have been necessary 🤔. But also if this really were a fantasy story with all-powerful magical beings, there’s no reason why Feyre’s pregnancy should’ve been so risky to begin with. Barring that, there’s no reason why a C-section couldn’t have been an option. It was drama for the sake of drama, pain for the sake of pain. All filler, no substance.
Everything surrounding the baby plot and Nesta's forced captivity prove ACOMAF for the lie it is, a romanticized idea about overwritten trauma and choosing the Perfect Guy because he can read your mind and tell you the things you want to hear. I mean, how else do we go from Feyre earnestly believing she wants time with her new love, that a child can wait, to a Feyre who can't think of a single gift to give Rhys besides the news of her pregnancy? (Cue him cumming to the sight of their unborn child. I will never forget, and neither will you, dear anon, I'm sorry. But I didn't write it!)
And idk, given how much pregnancy in general squicks me out despite being a woman myself, how much medical care for women generally sucks, how many people are going through such pain with miscarriages, unviable pregnancies, and unclear yet strict abortion laws... This ain't it, fam! If SJM wants to talk real-life application with her trauma bullshit, then let's talk real-life application! Because no one, not a single person, has an I Am Become Death magic sister who can pull a dying mother and their dying baby back from the brink where medicine and the law have failed them. No one can have their premie who can't survive on its own suddenly turned into a healthy six-month-old. Who does this plot serve? Neither the reader nor the characters benefited.
I genuinely can't understand how SJM, as a mother herself, could write something so tone deaf, without even being brave enough to explore this kind of fear and pain with any care whatsoever. If she wanted Feyre and Nesta to actually bond over something... Feyre's pregnancy and what that means as a human-turned-fae and a mother could have been it. That could have been something the sisters discussed and helped each other with, where they could have learned more about each other and their deeper fears as young women in a society that does not truly respect them. Both of them share in family trauma, for fuck's sake! Now here Feyre is starting a new family at great risk while Nesta is still guiltily mourning the one she lost! The dots are there!
But no. Instead, not even Feyre is allowed to learn the truth about her pregnancy until Nesta tells her, and then Nesta is painted as a villain for doing so. Feyre isn't allowed to have any real opinion or lingering fears or doubts about her fate whatsoever. Because none of this stuff really matters, especially not the trauma. It's about the fucking, rutting, animal sex. It's about the smirking males, their dripping seed, and their inability to be anything besides horny at any given moment. It's about the washboard abs. Hey, a sexy story would be just fine with me! I just wish SJM would fully embrace that (and also write it better lmao) and get off her "I'm God's gift to feminism" soap box. Maybe take off the girlboss shades, too, because ain't none of her female characters even living up to the shallowness of a girlboss. The narrative undermines and undervalues them too much.
Actually, I have to clap my hands to SJM for this baby plot. I've never seen one that destroys two main female characters in a single stroke before. That's how powerful Rhysand's dick is.
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thebendsbyradiohead · 9 months
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tagged by @berrytart thank u so much bc i have Thoughts & now an excuse to share them lol
last read: severance by ling ma & the new me by halle butler
so i was going to just include severance here but i was rly curious where the new me would go & i literally just finished it & liked it a lot!!!
both books deal with blithe, depressed & passionless protagonists stuck in the never-ending loop of what it means to exist in late stage capitalism which despite all evidence of it in the real world, i apparently also seek out in fiction to reassure me i'm not broken to feel that way too?
severance is amazing & i highly recommend it altho fair bit of content warning for an eerily prescient pandemic plot down to the ghoulish response of governments & businesses. (seriously, it was released in 2018 & if i was ling ma, i'd be buying lottery tickets every single day since march 12 2020). it also does a masterful job of depicting the immigrant experience abroad, especially if you're going thru it alone & without a large support network. the protagonist is also a chinese woman & her relation to her race is also a significant theme that's tied up in the overall arc of the novel, making you realize the title works on several levels: severance from your culture, from your family, from happiness, from humanity. is there nothing capitalism can't take from you?
the new me is a bit more condensed and focused on the inner machinations of a lonely depressed woman who can't seem to hold down a permanent job surrounded by vapid self-interested people & slowly becoming more like them (if not already). it's highly reminiscent of my year of rest and relaxation but i found the descriptors of the banality & pointlessness of office life poignant since it singled out how stupid all of it is. i also appreciated the glimpses of the minds of random side characters who the MC often judges but the author shows us they're as frail & human & pathetically hopeful just like she is, like we all are. while it might not be as layered as severance is, the claustrophobic feeling it gave me & the portrayal of bullshit jobs in late stage capitalism & the way it punishes weakness, vulnerability, and authenticity was painfully familiar. i wish i could give it to my therapist to understand my perspective but she'd probably tell me stop reading shit like this & taking it as truth
currently reading: play it as it lays by joan didion & imagining the balkans by maria todorova
i'm gonna be real with you chief (didion), carrie fisher did this better. this is my first time reading fiction by didion & the year of magical thinking was truly a cathartic read for me but this ain't it. it's a story about a failing actress who's divorcing from this director that made her famous & they have a sick kid & she drinks & hangs out with other rich people & she's not even funny. idk, maybe it's just not resonating with me at this point of my life but i doubt i will be a famous actress at any point & i'm not aiming to be an alcoholic mother so. it's a pity that the things i liked in the year of magical thinking, like the direct prose & complex human relationships, just fall flat here. i guess knowing the things in the year of magical thinking were real made them seem that much more impactful (as much as i hate that). i still have half of it left so i'll finish it but atp i'm not even curious what happens
i just started imagining the balkans so i can't say much abt it except that it's dense and very philosophical which makes sense ig lol. until now she's brought up several arguments i've kind of realized myself but it's nice to have the theory and historical research behind them presented. otherwise, how could i know some random american dude joined one of the sections of the macedonian liberation movement in the 1900s simply because he was bored at home & looking for mystery & intrigue?
To read: miracle in the andes by nando parrado
as a kid my favorite type of story was A Weirdo Stuck In An Inhospitable Environment Survives Against All Odds so this memoir from one of the survivors of the uruguayan air force flight 571 crash whose skull shattered & he still walked an entire mountain & found help is bound to be good
i tag @cuntextual @yugocar @christianbalegf
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maburito · 3 years
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What IF do u recommend? 👀
ALRIGHT so since i keep falling on new if games and have a lot on my to read list I will make a second part of this list ozijfazorgj. But for now here are some of the IF games i highly recommend!
The Wayhaven Chronicles : First I'm starting with the obvious (that I've already recommended before i know shut up) Wayhaven Chronicles! After a strange murder in the usually tranquil town of Wayhaven, the newly appointed detective (aka the MC aka you) is gonna have to work with 4 beautiful vampires to "solve" this mystery. It currently has two books with a complete demo of the third book available. Honestly if you have followed my blog recently you saw me scream about this game cos I am obsessed and seriously i really recommend it, even if vampires aren't usually your thing.
Fallen Hero Rebirth : Oh boy, Fallen Hero, literally everything is in the title, and not at the same time. Basically you play as a former hero who's decided to become a villain for reasons i will absolutely not spoil bc it would be criminal. But know that this story is glorious, you can choose what kind of villain you would be (from an anarchist/anti hero type to a full blown heartless villain, everything is possible) and choose how your villain costume looks like. And of course you have different love interests all of them super interesting (tho i am very soft for Ortega, the Doctor and Argent but mostly the Doctor got me like 🥺🥺🥺 ). It currently has one book out with the second book demo almost all out called : "Fallen Hero Retribution".
Mindblind : Alright this, made me cry. Like actual tears came out of my eyes and i hate it ezokrafoprkg. In a world where the majority of people either have telepathy and other mental superpowers OR at least enough mind defense to not be too affected by those mental superpowers, your MC is the only "Zero" who's mind is basically an open book and a possible puppet for anyone with mental superpowers. Sucks even more when the MC family are basically renowned superheroes. For now only the demo is out and honestly i can't wait for the full book because this story has me hooked!
Speaker : Once again, a supernatural story because i can never get tired of them okay??? This time you can play as "a Speaker". Born from a generation of Seers, you went to the world a few seconds after ur twin sister, which means she got the traumatising visions while you're the only one who can "understand" them somewhat. Or at least try to make sense of them. But of course everything becomes troublesome when visions get more frequent and violent. Great premise, Lovable LI's (looking at Az, Rory and Kana 👀👀) what more could you want?
When It Hungers (formerly Smoke and Velvet on dashingdon) : First just so you know, the game is currently on dashingdon as Smoke and Velvet but will be moved to Twine with the title as "When it hungers" (u can go see the author tumblr if u curious). Anyway, as a lover of horror stories i can't wait to see more of When It Hungers, even if i made the mistake of reading this at night the first time 😔. The coolest thing ? You can choose to make your MC in three different monster : Basilik, Hellhound or a Haunted Doll, and each of them have a different past based on that choice.
A Tale Of Crowns : Basically A Tale of Crowns is a story based on a fantasy world (inspired by the Middle Eastern) where the big ruler aka The Crown is sorta chosen by the gods and can only be recognised by their golden eyes. Except that usually future crowns are found years before a current crown's death, and your character has been running away their whole lifes. I honestly don't even know how to begin to tell you how much i love this story. The universe built around it is just so well done, the love interests are all interesting for different reasons and i feel transported every time i read it. Even now saying this feels like too little but as usual im not good with english, but yeah just trust me it really deserves more than one look.
The Hunt : Demon Eyes : Just like When It Hungers, this IF is still on dashingdon but will be moved to Twine just so you know opzeakfaz. Anyway the premise is basically you play as a hunter, as in a hunter of supernaturals, whether you think all supernaturals are bad or think there are good ones is up to you, though u know, most of the love interests are supernaturals pzokfga. BUT! One day u end up possessed by a demon you were hunting and only break free TWO YEARS later! So u gonna have to try and find out what the hell happened all this time. There's not much out yet but im already really intrigued by the premise!
Bloodmoon : Who doesn't love a good story about werewolves? If you don't then im sorry you have such a lack of taste 😔. A story which updates every full moon (literally) about a clan of werewolves who just moved into a city, and unfortunatly it doesn't go as well as it could. Honestly between all the unique RO's (Vicky is my personal favorite even if Carrie and Shawnie also got me heart), the twist on the relationship between the wolves and the moon, and the whole story and dynamics between all the characters, Bloodmoon is a delight to read. And yeah i definitely re-read it way too many times oiajgfaoiej.
The Exile : Are you tired of fantasy stories? Well too bad here's one more because i love them!! And boooy this one got me obssesed. Playing as a former commander who was once admired by the kingdom they had vow to protect, they are now a fallen hero due to a tragedy that they cannot even remember. Between new encounters and former allies, trouble just keep finding them no matter what. Sorry for the bad summary but honestly the demo of this story got me so hooked!!! And you can basically choose what kind of "semi magic creature" your mc is! (werewofl, phoenix, etc). Seriously give it a go you won't regret it
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eternally-writing · 3 years
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helping hands | jjk
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genre: fluff and angst
rating: G (no swearing or sexual content)
pairing: Jungkook x reader
theme: parent!au, idol!au, husband!au, one-shot
word count: 3k
warnings: none
synopsis: Parenting in general? Hard. Parenting while your husband Jungkook is away on tour? Extra hard.
special thank you to @justasparkwritings for beta reading this and @moccahobi for helping me with the title!
banner by me!
--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--
It had been 2 weeks since Jungkook had left on tour. You would think that after being in the industry for 10 years he would have a little more leniency with his schedule, but even after the birth of your little girl, Jungkook couldn’t seem to get out of a 3 week tour around Japan and Korea.
It seemed like the Earth was weeping with you today as the rain battered against your window while you made what seemed like your 15th cup of coffee for the day. Your daughter Gidae was for once not crying - and you were eternally grateful since it gave you time to change out of your puke-covered shirt and close your eyes for 5 seconds... as if that was any replacement for the lack of sleep you’ve encountered.
All your friends whose husbands were busy idols or businessmen gave you the advice that “everything falls into place over time when you’re parenting on your own”. That it just magically happened. You’re not sure what memo you missed, or if there’s some book you forgot to read, or if worst of all, you lacked some parental intuition that everyone else possessed. Jungkook had left 13 days ago, and nothing had fallen into place.
Between Gidae being up all night every night, the pile of puke covered laundry sitting in a pile in the corner of your room, the dirty dishes in the sink that had accumulated to the point that you were eating your microwave meals with plastic cutlery, you definitely felt like a failure.
And probably the worst part of it all was that Jungkook wasn’t here to help you. This wasn’t the first time Jungkook left on tour while you two have been together, but it was the first time he had left you since Gidae had been born. The first time he had left you, a first time mother, alone with your child for an extended period of time. The first time you needed help and couldn’t ask him for it.
As if on command, while you were bracing yourself on the counter in exhaustion, your phone began to ring.
Incoming call: hubby kook ♡
As you pressed “accept call”, you could immediately heard the hustle and bustle of the backstage crowd. Too tired to be the first to say hello, you waited to see how long it would take for him to realize you were on the other line.
“Hey Y/N, just checking in before the show! How are things?” cheered Jungkook.
You could imagine what Jungkook looked like as he talked to you: already dressed in his first stage outfit, a makeup artist blotting away at the nervous sweat on his forehead, him grinning ear to ear with his hyungs and bursting with excitement for performing.
On a normal day, if you had maybe actually gotten some sleep or eaten at least one meal that didn’t come out of your freezer in the past week, you probably could have mustered a convincing “good! How’s the show going?” But you were on your last straw, and it was already giving way.
“Bad Jungkook. It’s bad. I haven’t slept at all for as long as I can remember. I have no clean clothes or clean dishes, I haven’t showered since you left so I smell like a pungent mixture of puke, sweat, and god knows what else, and Gidae misses you and won’t stop crying.So yes, it’s horrible without you here.”
You knew that wasn’t what Jungkook expected to hear,the sharp intake of breath on his side serving as a telltale sign you had caught him off guard.
“Baby I-, I’m sorry, I had no idea.”
You couldn’t stop your voice from cracking as you continued. Your chest was tightening, feelings bubbling over.
“It’s -“ you paused to take a breath. “It’s really hard without you Jungkook. Really really hard.”
Jungkook tried his best to piece together the words over the phone, but you could already hear the speakers in the background calling for Jungkook to head to his position for the start of the show.
“Y/N I-“
“You have to go Jungkook, I know. Bye.”
You didn’t give him a second to recuperate as you ended the call.
No parenting book ever provided you with advice on this. The loneliness, helplessness, and frustration you were feeling right now. Crumpling down to the kitchen floor, you felt like the world was collapsing around you as you sobbed.
As if on cue, Gidae’s cries joined yours from the other room.
--♡--
You woke up slouched in a rocking chair in the nursery, with your hand reaching down to touch your daughter’s in her crib. She seemed to show you some leniency by sleeping more than 2 hours at a time, but unsure of how much free time she’d give you, you figured you might as well get a head start of the day since you felt like you were miserably falling behind already.
While mixing some formula in your kitchen, you heard a knock on your front door. The only people who ever came over were the boys and a couple of your friends, and you definitely weren’t expecting any visitors at 8am.
Frying pan clutched in your hand (safety first, right?), you creaked open your door to see a small woman standing in front of you.
With a cheery smile painting her face, the lady began to speak.
“Mrs. Jeon, I’m Seokjin-ssi’s nanny. I’ve been sent here today to take care of Gidae. Here’s a note from Mr. Jeon.”
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You couldn’t help the smile that decorated your face after reading it. After so many years together, Jungkook still managed to surprise you. Taking in that there was now a woman in your house who was basically Supernanny here to help you, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.
When Jungkook said that you were going to be pampered today, he sure meant it. By a “car” being outside, he actually meant a glorious Porsche with a driver and all your favorite snacks tucked in the backseat. He had booked an entire spa day just for you to get whatever treatments you needed without having to deal with the hustle and bustle of anyone else being around. Simply being in an environment that didn’t always sound like crying and children’s TV shows felt like heaven. A schedule had been waiting when you arrived, including a built in “nap” (multiple hours is just sleep, right?) in one of their private suits and lunch with none other than your best friend. It was the best surprise, and the girl talk you shared was exactly what you needed. Of course the mom guilt crept in, but whenever it did you reminded yourself of Jungkook’s words - you needed this, and only once you take care of yourself will you really be able to take care of your daughter.
You weren’t sure if it was because of the hydrating face mask or the 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep that you were able to get, but you walked into your house with a new pep in your step thanks to the relaxing day that Jungkook planned for you.
Welcomed by Ms. Yeong wearing an apron and bustling around your kitchen, you smelled freshly baked cookies (chocolate chip, your favorite too) and were thrilled at the sight of a clean house in front of you.
Wiping her hands on her apron, she began to speak with that signature smile.
“I’ve cooked dinner for you tonight and also have meals for the next 3 days in the fridge. The dishes are all done and your laundry should all be folded in your drawers. Gidae just had some milk and is now watching some Cocomelon.She woke up from her nap around 3 hours ago.”
In your excitement you couldn’t help giving her the biggest hug, squeezing her tightly. Slowly, Ms.Yeong began to pat your back, unclear about whether this hug was really for you or for her.
“I’m just doing my job Mrs. Jeon.”
You pulled away to look sincerely into her eyes.
“You are seriously a lifesaver Ms.Yeong, I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
After patting your back again, it was her turn to be sincere.
“You’re a good mother, Mrs. Jeon. I know it may not feel like it sometimes, but you really are. Gidae is lucky to have you as a mom.”
Tears began to prick at your eyes, but unlike yesterday, these were happy tears. With all the failures that you had felt in the past two weeks, it meant everything to hear those words from someone, to get some confirmation that you weren’t completely messing things up.
Unable to make any words come out of your mouth, all you could do was nod in appreciation at what she was able to do for you today. Your eyes glimmering with unshed tears said all the words that Ms.Yeong needed to hear.
As she walked out the door, you made a mental note to message Seokjin and thank him for finding the angel on Earth who saved you today.
--♡--
Picking up your daughter from her crib, you cooed and brought her to you. Settling into your rocking chair, you cradled her gently in her arms.
“Mommy missed you today, babygirl, and I know you miss daddy.”
At the mention of the word “daddy” you could see your daughter perk up, looking around and trying to find said male.
All you could do is kiss her forehead. “I miss your daddy too. He’s really amazing, yknow.”
“Amazing, really? I may have said handsome, or sexy, or...”
Your head whipped around to the source of the sound.
And there he was, in the flesh. Jeon Jungkook, the man you had been waiting to see for days on end, was standing right at the door.
“Hi my love,” he said with his silly grin.
Your heart felt like it was bursting as you saw him there, and you couldn’t help but start sobbing your heart out (and I mean ugly sobbing). You felt a waterfall of emotions seeing Jungkook so close.
“Hey hey hey, what���s with this crying? I came home because I didn’t want you to be crying anymore baby.”
Walking over to you, he crouched in front of your chair and started to wipe your tears. Cupping your face in his hands, he pressed his forehead against you.
“I missed you Y/N. I missed you so much.”
You were still reeling from Jungkook’s presence.
“You have no idea how much I’ve dreamed about this Kook. I feel like I’m dreaming.”
Jungkook pressed a short kiss on your lips.
“Well believe it, I’m here for real babe,” he said sentimentally as he peppered your face with kisses.
Picking your daughter out of your grasp, Jungkook lifted Gidae into his hold, lifting her slightly into the air first to make her giggle. Putting on his best stern dad voice, he began his lecture.
“And you little miss, what is this I hear about you causing trouble for your mom?” Questioned Jungkook.
You smiled through your tears as you watched Jungkook go into “dad mode”.
“Before I left you promised you’d be a good girl, but I think good girls don’t cry all through the night and they definitely don’t make a mess with their toys or throw up all over their mommy.”
As Jungkook raised an eyebrow, your daughter looked at him, slightly apologetic, eyes shifting down to the floor, as if she could understand a word of what he said.
“But most of all Gidae, I missed you a whole lot. Your daddy missed you a whole lot.”
You felt like your heart could burst at the way Jungkook looked at your daughter. Even though he might be miles away when he works, you know that he doesn’t love you or your daughter any less.
“I’ll let you put her back to bed, daddy. It is my day off after all, right?” You joked with a chuckle.
Picking up your hand and kissing your palm, Jungkook grinned in agreement.
“Of course my love, go wash up and I’ll see you in bed.”
--♡--
After reading A Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Princess & the Pea, and Rainbow Fish, Gidae was beginning to yawn in Jungkook’s arms. It seemed that it wasn’t just Jungkook who was reluctant to let their father-daughter time come to an end, as Gidae was still fighting to keep her eyes open, and always kept one tiny fist clutched onto the middle of Jungkook’s shirt, as if she was worried he could disappear at any moment.
Wondering what was taking them so long, you peeked your head back in the doorway to watch Jungkook look at your daughter like she was the one who put the stars in the sky. Not wanting to interrupt, you stayed as silent as possible as you watched them together.
“Now I’m gonna say something very important Gidae, and you need to listen very very carefully to me.”
Bringing her up to eye level, Jungkook looked at your daughter sincerely as he continued.
“Sometimes daddy isn’t here and it’s just you and mommy, but I want you to know that daddy loves you and mommy so much, and you’re always gonna be daddy’s little girl, even if I’m not here with you. And I miss you always, so so much. Daddy loves you.”
You could see the tears start to stream down Jungkook’s face, and as much as you wanted to run to him and wipe his tears, just as he did hours earlier, you knew that this moment wasn’t for you. This was for Jungkook and Gidae, and you were sure that he was going to remember this forever.
“You know what would make me so happy Gidae? If you could say the word daddy. Come on - “da” “da”. You can do it!”
He started to bounce her on his lap, exaggerating his mouth movements so much that you were worried that he would accidentally pop his jaw out. His ministrations continued on fruitlessly, with Gidae still staring at him with big doe eyes (a trait she inherited from Jungkook, of course).
Unable to hide your presence any longer, you had to help Jungkook out. “You were only gone for 2 weeks, Kook. She’s still only 6 months old, it’s going to be a little while before she says any words.”
Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. It seemed that Gidae had finally succumbed to sleep in his arms, and he stared down at her again.
“Look at how big she is Y/N, she’s grown so much just in the little while I’ve been gone.”
He looked at you with tears shimmering in his doe eyes yet again.
“Seriously, next time I leave on a tour and come back she’s going to be walking and talking or something.” joked Jungkook as he lightly wiped his tears.
You hugged Jungkook from behind, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before resting your head on it.
“Wherever you are though babe, I’m gonna take photos and videos of all of it so you won’t miss a second of it.”
Jungkook stayed silent as he simply enjoyed having his small family together again.
“You were right earlier you know, on the phone.”
“Hmm?” You hummed in response, unsure of what he was getting at.
“This isn’t working - me leaving isn’t working. I’m not 15 years old anymore, when I could just drop everything and travel the world; I have the two most precious girls in the world with me now, and I need to take care of them.”
Putting his hand in yours, you sincerely looked him in the eye.
“We’re always going to be proud of you Koo, and you know I love watching you do what you love. This may be the hard part, once she gets a little older we could start travelling with you or you could fly back too. Whatever comes our way, we’ll handle it together.”
Jungkook kissed you passionately, hoping his lips could convey what he couldn’t seem to put into words. He repeated your words back to you.
“Whatever comes our way, we’ll handle it together.”
As if Mother Nature was on your side, the rain stopped, leaving the smell of new beginnings wafting in through your window.
--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--
If you liked what you read please interact/follow! Thank you for reading♡ - Emily
485 notes · View notes
doctorofmagic · 3 years
Text
My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?
The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.
~ long post under the cut ~
A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.
Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.
What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?
The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.
Fine, let’s begin.
What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?
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No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.
Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE
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I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.
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And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”
GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.
So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.
And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.
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Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.
Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.
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I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.
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BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH
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Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.
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He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.
Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN
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AND THEN HE
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AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN
AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME
AND SHE KEEPS DYING
AND THE MUSIC
AND HIS VOICE
AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED
HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY
AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY
I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*
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Apparently, not.
And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?
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This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.
Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.
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And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.
PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.
Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).
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And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.
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Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.
And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.
And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.
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Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.
Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)
Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.
Shmebulock???????????
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AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????
The grasp this man is holding on me right now...
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Some of you will understand. I’m with you.
And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.
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Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL
And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.
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Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)
Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.
And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.
I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.
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Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY
So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?
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Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH
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Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR
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Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.
I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.
And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)
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I can fix him...
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This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)
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And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK
AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.
Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.
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The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.
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And this is where my soul left my body.
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This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.
This... this was brutal to watch. Really.
What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.
I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW
This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.
Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.
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172 notes · View notes
slightlymore · 4 years
Text
my soulmate loves wine
part of the ‘soulmates collection’
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doyoung x fem reader
others: jaemin, jeno 
genre: one-shot, soulmates au, enemies? to lovers, romance, smut, fluffy tones, phone chat (there are pics of the conversation) 
warnings: tarot readings, alcohol, swearing, insults, explicit sex scenes (oral f and m, penetration, protected and unprotected - seriously, have unprotected sex only with people you trust. if you will have unprotected sex with strangers, i will manifest in the room and besides it being absolutely embrarrassing for you, i will also smack your heads together and call you stupid - bondage, rough, spanking, hair pulling, spit swallowing, slight breeding kink, use of 'slut', dom doyoung,  sub doyoung, overstimulation f and m, edging f and m, dry humping, wet humping, mouth fucking, cum swallowing, slight exhibitionism, f solo, m solo, phone sex), doyoung has a big cock too lmao (in all of my own personal readings I always get that my soulmate has a big cock for no reason and I thought it was a funny detail)
words: 17K
tag list:  @seostudios @doyochii @doodlingpizza @eboyhyunjunreblogs​ @mina-is-babie @sorrywonwoo @peterrogers15 @delphiskpoporacle @waffletaeng @wownajaemin @shimyshimykoko @doyoung-onli @chxb03 @strawberrymilkandcigarettes @hyucksie​ @neonun-au​ @cumtrov3rsy​ 
_____
January 1st 2:23 am 
And if he's not my soulmate, I'd rather wander alone than touching someone else's skin, I'd rather walk this earth with no hand to hold and lift me from the ground. And if I have to heal from it and accept the universe's imposed call, I'd rather suffer from my eternally open wounds. I'll fight the stars and let them burn me, I'll let them laugh at my weakest state and I'd gladly make them erase my memory of ever existing in all of the infinite lives if I have to follow Fate. 
Doyoung felt the golden letters on the book cover in front of him and raised his eyes when he heard the crystal curtain move. 
“I wouldn’t open it if I were you.” 
A middle-aged woman was smiling at him, walking towards the table Doyoung and Jaemin were sat at. 
The room became even darker but a certain comfort engulfed Doyoung when she smiled. 
“I’ve never seen a book with a poem on the cover instead of a title.” 
“A dear friend of mine made it.” 
Her expression was calm and peaceful when she eyed the book and put her hand on it, pulling it towards herself. 
“It’s beautiful,” Doyoung looked at the worn bordeaux leather. “What’s inside?” 
“I’m glad you like it. And that’s-,” she leaned in mysteriously, “-a secret.” 
As she spoke, a little candle lit up between them and the boys both flinched. 
“Wow,” Jaemin whispered. 
Doyoung blinked at the woman then chuckled once, laughing mostly at himself for being so jumpy for no reason. That place was made to look creepy but he reminded himself that it was only a facade. 
“I’m here for a reading.” Her gaze was piercing and Doyoung realized that she hadn’t stopped looking at him since she entered the room. 
“There’s a certain resistance on your part.” Doyoung tried not to snort. “Well…” I don’t believe in these sorts of things, he wanted to say, but Jaemin suddenly laughed, slamming his palm on the table and making a decent amount of colourful stones jingle on the glass table. 
Doyoung sighed. “Sorry, my friend is very drunk.” 
“You’re also drunk as fuck,” the other pointed his finger to the first’s face, poking him in the nose as he couldn’t keep his balance. 
The woman smiled kindly as if unbothered to suddenly have two obnoxious young men trying to get a reading at two in the morning.  “This is going to be a love reading. We’ll see what the Spirit wants to tell you about your soulmate.” “Actually, I’m here for a general one? Like, I don’t know-,” Doyoung tried to find his words and looked at Jaemin. “Money and sex?” the younger one suggested before they could have another laughter fit for no apparent reason. The woman kept the corner of her lips lifted as she retrieved a beautiful tarot deck. “Would you blow on this please?” Jaemin tried to open his eyes. “Blow? Of course. Doyoung is good at blowing.” Doyoung hit him with the shoulder. “Shut the fuck up. We’ll get kicked out if you continue,” he whispered amused. Or at least he tried to whisper. The boys kept giggling for a few more moments then got serious as they eyed the spread of cards in front of them. 
The woman nodded and smiled. 
Doyoung blinked at the lady then at the cards. 
"There's mystery and magic attached to this connection. The universe wants this to be a surprise. You’ve been manifesting a lot, haven’t you?” 
The young man felt suddenly very awake. 
“Uhm, no.” 
“It’s okay if you’re not honest with me. The Spirit can see your true feelings. It’s saying that if you needed a confirmation that this is real, then here it is.”
Doyoung stared at her nail, tapping at the card and wondered how many years of training she needed to be able to read people like that since he was sure that that piece of paper could not be able to tell her anything. 
Relaxing on his chair he tried to put on the most neutral expression ever then nodded. 
Okay, it meant. Go on. 
“King of cups. Your soulmate is very in touch with their emotions. They’re going to teach you how to open up more since it’s difficult for you to express what you’re feeling.” Doyoung tightened his lips before he could wrongfully deny it. On his left, Jaemin was already sleeping with his head on the table.
_____
January 1st 2:23 pm 
"Will we know right away that we're each other's soulmate?" 
The Lady smiled and nodded at your widened and curious eyes. 
"You have an intense soul connection. Also, you’ll know right away because sex-,” You gulped. “-is going to be the best you’ve ever had in your whole life. He’s a very fiery person and is quite domineering, I can tell it from the King of swords. He wants to dominate you in bed, maybe pull your hair? You love it. And he definitely loves your body, especially legs and chest. He worships you and he will put you on a pedestal.” 
You felt your face warm up so you put your palms on your cheeks, trying hard to process all of that information. 
The woman continued after a little giggle to herself. “He can come off a little cocky. He thinks he’s very good in bed thanks to his natural attributes but that’s just because he’s a little insecure. Maybe consider reassuring him that he’s making you feel good?” 
Your mouth was dry and you automatically nodded. 
“Wait, what do you mean with- uh-- with natural attributes?”
_____
Sometime in June 
“Did you hear about the guy accused of stealing because it looked like he had something in his pocket while in reality, it was his 10 inches monster?” Jaemin asked before laughing like a supervillain, head thrown back on the couch cushions, splattering spit all over Doyoung who was sitting near him with furrowed eyebrows as he tried to find a good movie to watch. 
“Yeah, it was me,” Doyoung replied with a monotone voice. 
“Oh? Doyoung made a joke? I guess I might say that you’re-- cocky?” 
Doyoung chuckled even if he tried not to. 
“Okay, since you’re in a good mood-,” the other clapped his hands once. “No.” “You don’t even know what I wanted to ask you!” Jaemin whined. “I’m busy.” “You don’t do anything all day.” “I have to take care of my monster cock-” Jaemin slapped Doyoung’s mouth to cover it. “It hurts,” he mumbled. 
“Listen. Next Sunday you’ll accompany me at the opening of a new winery. You don’t have to do anything besides be pretty and drink wine while I try to get between one of the associates’ legs.” “I knew it had to do with pussy.” “She invited me! It’s not like I can refuse. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I met her at that work meeting.” “You mean a few days ago?” “Love has no stages.” “Why do I have to come with you?” “I have two invitations. Drinking expensive wine for free? Hello? I’m doing you a favour," he spoke quickly and dramatically, clicking his fingers. “You need three invitations, for me and my co--ahi!” Doyoung giggled after Jaemin smacked him with a cushion.
_____
You had no idea you’d be having backseat sex that day and honestly, you felt highly unprepared. 
Black ripped jeans and a leather jacket, the most basic outfit one guy could have on, yet you were salivating and for once it was not because of the pizza Jeno was handing you. 
“Uhm, Houston?” he clicked his fingers in front of your face then looked into the direction you were looking. 
“The guy on the right?” he asked without batting an eye. “How did you know?” you turned your head suddenly to face him and he put the slice of pizza inside of your open mouth. Then he rolled his eyes. 
“He’s completely your type.” "I want to fuck him."
Jeno raised one eyebrow and you suddenly realized what you've just said. 
"No. I meant-," "Hey! Guy with the rabbit mask!" Jeno suddenly yelled at the group of boys sitting on the grass in front of you. "What the fuck are you doing? Are you stupid?" you pulled his arm down. "My friend here said that she wants to f-," you slammed a hand on his mouth before he could finish. "I'm going to kill you," you whispered as Jeno started to giggle. 
The Rabbit boy looked at you for a little while, tilting his head to the side, but then turned his back to you. He probably didn't hear anything and thought that you were all drunk. 
“What the fuck was that?” you whispered. 
Jeno sighed. “Y/N. You’re too shy. If you want to fuck a guy just go and do it."
You scoffed. “I’m too shy? I am not shy. I can fuck whoever I want.” “Yeah? Then fuck the Rabbit.” 
You crossed your arms on your chest and put your tongue in your cheek. 
“Can’t do it huh?” Jeno teased you. "I can. And I will." "I bet you can't." "I bet I will."
_____
“I’ll be honest with you. I’m here because of a bet.” The Rabbit had a gulp of beer as if girls with a Moon mask approached him with bet talk every day. Then he giggled. 
“Sorry, your mask is ridiculous.” 
You rolled your eyes even if he couldn’t see it. 
Okay, he was a douche. Did you still want to fuck him though? Yes. 
“What’s the bet about?” he inquired. 
You straightened your lips in a tight line, the sound of your pulse almost audible in the silence of the parking lot. 
“MyfriendsaidthatIwouldn’tbeabletofuckyoubecauseI’mshyandIwanttoprovetohimthatI’mnot.” 
You spitted everything out thanks to the gigantic amounts of wine you had that night and found yourself panting a little when you were done. A little voice inside your head was screaming that it was dangerous and highly inappropriate for you to behave like that but you shrugged internally and hit it in the face.
“What?” the dude asked after a beat. 
You sighed. “MyfriendsaidthatIw-” “Okay, okay,” he raised his palms, “hold up. Talk slowly? Your friend what?” “Myfriendsaid-” “Can you just talk slowly, please?” 
“Nevermind,” you turned your back to him and walked away. 
“Mooney, come back here.” 
You stopped. “How did you just call me?”
The guy straightened his back and laughed under his mask. “If you want to fuck me, at least try and seduce me first.” “Aren’t you already under my spell if you’re so eager to keep going on with this conversation?” you found yourself saying. He shrugged. “I’m just bored. And don’t you want to win that bet? I guess you’re actually shy and your friend was right.” You scoffed. “I’m not gullible. You won’t make me do things only because you told me that I can’t.” “You’re here doing a thing only because your friend told you that you can’t. How is that not being gullible?” “It’s not being gullible if I’m here with that as an excuse when in reality I want to fuck you on the backseat, Rabbit.” 
You couldn’t see his face but you knew he was smiling as he opened the car’s door and with a dramatic gesture he invited you in. 
You walked in front of him slowly, asking yourself what the fuck you were actually doing, and he was quick to follow you inside. 
It was dark and warm and you decided to lie to yourself that the trembling sigh that escaped your lips was because you’ve been feeling cold before and not because you felt the Rabbit’s hands on your waist. You let him pull you in his lap and his palms slowly brushed your goosebumpy thighs first, then your torso, hovering over your breasts before they could grab your mask and take it away. You were breathing through your mouth and you desperately needed to see his expression upon seeing your face. With trembling fingers, you pulled the little white rabbit down and his eyes made an appearance first forcing you to inhale sharply. Masks slipping on the side, you both took in the view of each other. He did not speak a word and you didn’t either. 
“Do-,” you started unsurely, “do we know each other? Have we met before?” 
He blinked at you and you could tell he was as confused as you were. “I don’t think so,” he whispered and you finally realized how close he was. 
Like a switch, when you moved he moved as well and you roughly hit your mouths together, his hands cupping your ass and your fingers curling in his hair. It was so fast and almost painful the way you embraced each other that you wondered just how horny some wine could make you become. He grunted as you suddenly bit his neck and just that sound made your blood boil. You knew how and where to touch him and when his fingers got underneath your dress it seemed like he knew your weak spots as well. You let go of his neck and grabbed his head as your nipples disappeared inside his mouth. His lips were cold just like his touch and it made you shiver.
_____
Doyoung noticed you the exact moment you walked onto the lawn. 
Your legs were bare and he wondered why Jaemin dragged him to such a weird party. 
“Just buy whatever,” the younger said behind a black ominous mask while examining himself in the mirror. 
Doyoung hummed pensively and grabbed the white Rabbit. 
“I wanted that one too but since I’m going to see the associate lady tonight again, I thought that something less stupid would be better,” commented Jaemin.  
“So you think this is stupid?” 
“It goes well with your vibe. Buy it,” he wiggled his eyebrows and for once Doyoung just sighed and shrugged. 
“Ah come on, why are you not in a good mood tonight? We’ll have free food and alcohol tonight then free food and wine tomorrow.” 
“I really don’t feel like coming. It makes no sense to throw a party before a party. I can’t believe you tricked me into coming to two parties.” 
It was Jaemin’s turn to shrug. “These people have been travelling through all of Europe and shit. It’s their version of an afterparty. Like a rave. But it’s before the actual party and it’s on grass, with masks on and at 5 pm. You have to come.” "So there's going to be classical music and tea?" 
The cashier ringed their items quickly and Jaemin took out his wallet to pay.   “Why do you even get invited to all of these events?” Doyoung went on and added a pack of mints too. Jaemin smirked. “She likes me a lot, huh? Can’t wait to taste that sweet juicy pussy.” The cashier cleared her throat and was quick to dismiss them with her rightfully dry “have a good day”. “I just think she’s trying to gather customers for her wine. Don’t get your hopes up.” “She’ll want to gift me her wine after I’ll make her boun-”
Doyoung was so ready to accept an evening of him wandering around a party full of strangers talking in god knows what languages while his friend got it wet that when you pressed yourself on his crotch, nibbling at his neck and exhaling so deeply, he felt lightheaded. 
You were with another guy and Doyoung watched you sit down on the cushions behind his group of friends. Your nude legs got even nuder as your white dress shifted up exposing your thighs. A sudden urge to spread them invaded his mind and he had to do something with his hands instead. 
“Hey, guy with the rabbit mask!” 
Doyoung turned his head around right in time to see you smack the dude on the face. 
“Did that guy just tell you that his friend wants to fuck you?” Jaemin inquired with a giggle. Doyoung wondered how Jaemin could hear something like that at such a distance. 
“I guess?” he agreed though. “And I want to fuck her too,” he heard himself add.  
Jaemin’s mask looked as shocked as his expression underneath it. 
“Why are you so bold all of a sudden? No, I mean, yes! Fuck her.” 
Doyoung shook his head to get rid of the imaginary fog. “I was joking. Why are you getting so worked up?” 
But when Jaemin finally disappeared suddenly, presumably to drink some wine with his lady, Doyoung could physically feel your eyes on his back as he walked down the hill towards the parking lot. 
Your steps were light and you’d stop when he’d stop, unsuccessfully hiding behind the tall bushes of roses. 
As he unlocked his car with a high toned beep, he leaned on the side of it and waited for you to approach him. A giggle left his chest when he saw you trying to find him in the middle of all of those cars. 
“I am here,” he announced and you jolted. 
Turning around you eyed him and stopped in place then took a timid step, then another until only a few separated you from him. 
“I’ll be honest with you. I’m here because of a bet.” 
You looked airy just like the moon on your mask and he thought you were adorable swinging your body weight from one foot to another like that. 
“Sorry, your mask is-,” adorable, “-ridiculous. What’s the bet about?” 
“My friend said that I wouldn’t be able to fuck you because I’m shy and I want to prove to him that I’m not.” 
You were so bold that Doyoung felt his air miss from his lungs. 
You slurred your words on purpose and he tried hard to pretend that he didn’t understand just to hear you say that you wanted him to fuck you again. 
“What?” he asked.
You sighed. “MyfriendsaidthatIw-” “Okay, okay,” he raised his palms, “hold up. Talk slowly? Your friend what?” “Myfriendsaid-” “Can you just talk slowly, please?” “Nevermind.” 
Fuck. 
“Mooney, come back here.” 
The air rustled with energy and he completely missed everything besides “I want to fuck you on the backseat” part and he had no idea how you got into the car and how he got you on his legs. 
But now there you were, soft in his arms. 
And when you took away your mask his head got drilled by a thousand questions. Your eyes, mirroring his expression as you slid his mask down, told him that you were thinking the same thing. Like two magnets you collided in a heated kiss and your scent was so familiar that Doyoung sighed when you let his lips go to breathe.
_____
Finally, finally, finally, your mind was chanting as the Rabbit moulded your body with his hands. 
Your mind became mush so quickly that it was honestly embarrassing when you realized that you were riding his hardened cock. His lips on your neck seemed amused and after a moment he took away his fingers from your body, leaning back and watching you from under heavy lids. 
You bit your lower lip and stopped with a certain difficulty, the burning sensation between your legs already boiling inside your veins. 
"Go on." 
His voice was sultry and raspy and your body reacted to it as if under a spell. 
Your fingers on his shoulders deepened their hold and you closed your eyes for a brief moment before opening them again. 
"Come on. Go on. Doesn't it feel good?" 
He cooed, dragging one single finger across your bust, between your breasts and down on your stomach. His eyes wouldn't let a single expression of yours escape them. 
"It would feel better if you fucked me."
The light in his irises twinkled. 
"But I like to see you like this," he said before leaning in and letting his breath caressing your ear. "Desperate." 
His voice was like a hiss and your skin shivered with goosebumps. You felt his open mouth on your nude shoulder, slowly going towards your clavicle and you extended your neck up to welcome him. 
"Go on," he ordered again and your hips snapped, rolling on him, feeling the way your panties got pulled up as he slid his hands under your dress and twirled the sides around his fingers. It was frustrating as intoxicating and soon enough the windows of his car became misty from your heavy breaths. 
"I hate this," you whined and he chuckled. "I can see that."
Almost completely lost in your foggy mind you jolted at a sudden snap and you stopped your motions just to see him slide your panties from between your legs and throw them to the front. 
With a single pull, he pushed your now raw pussy on his clothed cock while his hands spread your ass, guiding your movements. 
"Fuck," you gasped, feeling the rough material on your sensitive skin and it didn't take you a lot to go over the edge with fingers curled inside his hair and mouths open against each other. He drank your shaking moans, then without giving you a second to remember where you were, his arms wrapped your torso and pushed you under his weight. Your feet stopped on the window as you yelped and you desperately wanted to call his name when you felt his tongue lap at your wetness. His fingers were tightly wrapped around your thighs and when you moaned a few times in a row, your back arching and your body squirming in his hold, he palmed your stomach and pressed you down again.
_____
You looked like every sex dream Doyoung has ever had. 
Arms thrown around your head, chest rising and falling, your sweet whimpers and soft skin, it drove him crazy. Your thighs pressing on the side of his head felt like everything he has ever wanted but wasn’t aware of. 
Mine mine mine all mine. A weird possession sentiment swept him away and when he looked up at your fucked up expression he felt like shivering. With a plop he let your clit go and kept pumping his fingers inside of you, curling them right where you wanted him to, kissing your navel, licking your under breasts, sucking the skin in until it probably hurt, then sucking on your nipples, and finally on your lower lip. He wanted to see your face when you’d cum all over his fingers and when you gasped, wrapping his torso with your arms and trying to hide your face into the crook of his neck, he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. Your eyelids fluttered as he heard you swear multiple times and as he felt you clench so deliciously that he couldn’t wait to feel it around his aching cock instead. He wanted to rest a bit, maybe put his head on your soft chest and listen to your heartbeats but you were a stranger and you were hooking up in his car. So he sat on his knees between your legs instead, panting as if he were the one who just came, and he let his eyes trail on your naked body, licking his lower lip when he reached your wet core. He would have wanted to smear all of that on himself but he reached his jacket instead and took a condom out.  
“Why do boys always carry a condom with them? You never know when you’d end up fucking?” 
“Actually, when we carry a condom we never fuck and when we don’t have it we have the opportunity to fuck.” 
“Well, today you’re lucky,” you smirked and he loved the way you tried to hide away your embarrassment with banter. 
“Do you still want to do this?” he palmed your knee.
“Yes,” you nodded. “You didn’t cum.” 
“You don’t have to worry about that. Do you want it?” 
Doyoung wondered what kind of expression he had on to make you light up so much. 
You bit your lower lip and sat up suddenly, getting on your knees as well and turning around with a certain difficulty. 
“Yes,” you said again and bent over. 
Doyoung choked at the view and wondered what country he had saved in his previous life to deserve all of that.  
_____
You dreamt about opening a winery probably since you tasted wine for the first time. 
You loved it. 
Sour, sweet, bitter, flowery, fruity, still and frizzy, you loved it all. 
People thought you were crazy and no one supported you until you met your best friend in university. 
“Are you kidding? I’d love to open a winery with you.” 
The classroom was well lit and she looked like an angel against the sunny windows. 
You looked at her with wide eyes. “Really?” 
She hit your arm playfully. “Of course! I love wine and that sounds like a very cool idea.” 
“Look, I’m actually very serious about this so if you’re saying this just to-,”
She took your hands and looked into your eyes. “Me too. We’ll do it. I promise.” 
Now, years later you were looking around at the freshly painted venue and couldn’t believe your eyes. 
You did it. 
Tall ceilings and shelves full of your blood and sweat, you walked around slowly, one finger to gently tap on the various displayed bottles. 
“Hey, hey, no touching. We’ve cleaned them up and they have to shine.” 
Your friend appeared on your side and you smiled. Her dress was sleeveless and you made a face touching her arms. 
“Have you been working out girl? What are these?” 
She snapped her head down to look at herself. “I guess… uhm, it’s all of the exercises… uhm that I do.” 
You took her sudden panic for embarrassment and cackled. “With the party guy?”
“Who?” 
“Jaemin you said?” “Oh yeah! Yeah, we’re quite active, aha.” 
“Well, to get those arms you might have done a lot of hardcore BDSM.” You laughed but your friend looked rather mortified. 
“Aw, come on,” you gently elbowed her. “I also fucked the guy from yesterday,” you added to make her feel better. And she lit up so much at the news that she almost knocked over the bottles in front of you. 
“And you tell me now? How did it go?” “Well, I guess. I don’t really want to think about it though. I don’t think I’m into hookups.”
_____
Doyoung didn't like hookups but when he stepped inside the winery's main hall and saw your legs again and the way your ass was wrapped in that short dress he desperately wanted to bury his cock in it. 
"Not bad, huh?" Jaemin smiled at the waiter welcoming them with glasses of wine, before looking up at the nicely decorated venue. 
"Yeah, not bad at all," Doyoung murmured as you turned around and he considered fucking your breasts too. 
Then he cleared his throat as he took a glass of wine as well, feeling his neck warming up. He looked around as he sipped, suddenly conscious of people as if they could read his horny mind. At that moment, with his body acting up as if possessed, he wondered if the wine didn’t have some sort of aphrodisiac in it. 
“Do you also feel a little funny?” Doyoung placed down the wine and reached for his tie to loosen it up. 
Jaemin glanced over him and promptly looked down. “Uh-oh. Do we have an emergency?” he started to laugh and Doyoung closed his eyes briefly before opening them and turning around towards the buffet. 
“Heh, did that girl do something to you? You were so upset when she left without saying anything.” 
“It was just a hookup,” Doyoung murmured trying to understand what kind of food he was staring at. 
“An amazing hookup if you get like this upon seeing her.” 
“Not for her I guess.” 
“So you are upset. Cupid worked hard last night,” he elbowed his friend. 
“Give me a break. You’re also crushing on your lady.” 
“Also? Kim Doyoung, are you crushing on the winery girl?”
He shook his head quickly putting a pastry in his mouth to have an excuse to not speak. Jaemin lightly hit him and Doyoung hit him back like kids in third grade when suddenly the lights became dimmer and you spoke into a mic.
_____
“Hey, have you seen Jeno?” you asked your friend after finishing your introductory discourse and let people finally get wasted as they wanted to. “Who?” “Jeno? The guy I’m always hanging out with? He should have been here by now but I don’t see him anywhere.” 
Your friend made a perplexed face and you sighed. “You’re right. You’ve never met him before. You’re both my best friends so I always forget that you’ve never seen each other.” 
“Well, I kinda know how he looks like, so if I see him then-,”
"So you stole my money,” a sudden voice at your back interrupted you and you turned around to lock eyes with none other than the Rabbit. 
He was so good looking that you felt the urge to kiss him, yet his mocking face made you so irrationally mad that you felt like slapping him too. 
You put your hands on your hips and raised your chin. "Proof?"
You were still panting last evening trying hard to stop shaking from your third orgasm in a row. The Rabbit did a lot of things to you and you wondered why you didn’t hook up with strangers more often if that was the outcome. His wallet was on the seat in front of you and for a split second, you smiled wondering if he carried a family photo in it. His back looked very broad as he stood outside the car and presumably tried to make himself pee with a half-hard penis but probably failing. A sudden voice startled you and Doyoung replied to it. You quickly pulled down your dress and eyed the ripped panties on the steering wheel. Shit. You tried to grab them but the dude talking to Doyoung took a few steps closer so you retreated. "Fucked her good just like you planned?" Your face scrunched in a pout and you suddenly found yourself very upset. Doyoung didn't reply anything but you weren't sure that he didn't make a face. It was a good night. You had fun and a good-looking dude made you cum. You fucked him good just like you planned too. Then why did you feel a little used? Maybe you weren’t acquainted with the hookup culture, or maybe deep down you hoped that the sudden attraction you felt for the Rabbit was magical, but suddenly you felt very weird and a wave of disgust invaded you. 
He was definitely not your soulmate and you should just get out of there. 
You opened the door slowly on your side, quietly looking over your shoulder to make sure that they wouldn’t hear you. Feet on the ground you eyed the wallet again and you opened it. Not to check his family photo as you previously wanted to, but to get all of his cash. You swallowed a chuckle and ran away up the hill back to the restaurant’s garden.
He scoffed. "You’re a terrible thief. I make you cum and you steal from me?" 
"You look like a rich guy. You deserved it. Also, you ripped my panties."
"And you liked it."
You clenched your jaw. "It wasn't even good sex."
His jaw's muscles flinched too. "You probably couldn't walk properly."
"Yeah, because of the cramped car not because of your cock." 
"I think you have a loss of memory all of a sudden. Do I have to remind you how my cock feels like?" 
"Sure. Then I will be able to say to your face that it doesn’t feel good.”
_____
"Fuck, it feels so fucking good."
Dragging you by the wrist, Doyoung shoved you in the first room he found and pressed you against the cold wall. 
"I can't believe I'm about to have sex in the rosés showroom," you spoke with a breathy voice and when Doyoung pressed his open lips on yours you realized that you didn’t even know his name. 
One thing is hooking up with a dude in his car while drunk, another thing is choosing to fuck him consciously on the opening of your new business and completely sober. 
Although, when he started to kiss your jaw and neck, his tongue slowly creeping out and tickling your nerves, your mind felt so hazy that you wondered if you somehow had something to drink already and couldn’t remember. 
Didn’t you hate the guy just a few moments ago?
“Do you really have to wear these dresses and drive me insane?” he whispered on your lips as his hands pulled up the dress in question. 
You wanted to reply with something smartass but honestly, you chose that dress with him in mind. 
Somehow, while browsing your closet for the big day, your mind could not stop thinking about the Rabbit boy. Your mixed feelings towards him confused you and you'd go on weird tangents of complete hatred and high adoration thinking about his face between your legs. 
Certain that he’d come to the opening too, you carefully wore each piece of clothing you had, looking at yourself in the mirror and imagining he was the one looking at you through your eyes. Would he like the split on your thigh? Or would he like the way the dress accentuated your breasts more? Without realizing your hands were on your bust going up slowly, gently kneading your soft skin, cupping your boobs and flicking your nipples. Then one moved on your stomach, then on your thigh and just like that you started to moan. 
And you were moaning at that moment too as the Rabbit lightly caressed your clit with the tip of his cock. You pushed your hips towards him to get more and he pushed you back into the wall, one hand reaching for your mouth and slipping the thumb on your tongue. You twirled it around his digit and sucked, lightly choking when he reached farther and choking again when you finally felt his cock fill you up too. 
“You have to be quiet, Y/N.” 
Your name on his lips made you tremble. 
He probably heard it during the welcoming discourse or read it on the pamphlets and the fact that he knew it and you didn’t know his one, made you feel vulnerable in a pleasant way. 
Or maybe it was the way his hand gripped the softness of your thigh, keeping it up on his hip, or maybe his own hips pushing inside of you that made you feel like turning into mush. 
“Will you be quiet for me or am I fucking you too good?” he took away his finger and you gasped for air, your whines getting louder. 
“As I thought,” he mocked you. “It wasn’t even good sex, she said.” 
You bit your lower lip and hid your face into the crook of his neck but he pulled you away, cupping your cheek. “You have to look at me. I want to see this pretty face when you cum.”
Your eyes fluttered as his cock basically decided to rearrange your guts and you dug your fingers into his shoulders with a teeth-gritted moan. 
“Are you close, baby?” You nodded breathlessly, the sudden pet-name just making it impossible for you to not beg to make you cum.
“You want me to make you cum?” 
You nodded again. “Gonna cum- so hard-,” 
The Rabbit thrust a few times more into you and suddenly pulled out. 
You gasped as if mortally offended but unable to move a muscle. 
"I don't think so."
His smirk made you swallow your own spit and he held your waist when he took a step back after letting your leg down. 
“Hey! Come on!” 
Dragging you away just like before he made you walk towards the party hall. His iron grip made it impossible for you to just go away and finish yourself and honestly, it would have been quite pathetic. 
You moved as if drunk, fingers visibly shaking and mind clouded in the middle of the crowd.
"Fuck, I'll make you pay for this." 
He smiled at you and intertwined his fingers with yours before lifting both of your hands and placing a kiss on your knuckles. 
"Yes darling, I've already paid last time," he replied as a few curious people looked your way and saw just a random couple chatting peacefully. 
You took a deep breath and tried to smile unbothered, imitating Doyoung's relaxed expression. 
"It was just a joke. Do you want those couple of bucks back?” 
He tilted his head to the side. “No. Let’s say I had paid you for your services.” 
You disregarded him and opened your clutch, retrieving a few dollars. With a quick hand, you shoved them halfway inside Doyoung's pants making sure others didn't stare. 
"Thank you for today’s fuck too then, slut."
_____
To say that it was easy for Doyoung to stop feeling you around his cock and pretend he wasn’t about to lose his mind when he couldn’t cum either, would be the biggest lie of the universe. But your frustrated expression, trembling limbs and glossy eyes made it all worth it. 
“Where have you been?” 
Jaemin handed him a glass of white wine and Doyoung took it absentmindedly. When he brought it to his mouth and had a sip he almost spit it back inside.
“What the fuck is this?” 
Jaemin chuckled. “The winery’s speciality.” 
“This is disgusting.” 
“I had a whole bottle of that yesterday so now I’m used to it.” 
“Why is it so sour?” 
Jaemin hit his shoulder lightly to bring his attention to something and when Doyoung raised his gaze he saw your furious aura staring at them from a few steps away. 
“Maybe the lady behind the recipe is sour as well,” he joked. “I lied when I asked you where you’ve been. Saw you together just now. Did you not fuck her good enough?” 
Doyoung smiled and took another sip of the wine, barely being able to not make a face for a second time. “I fucked her so good that now she’s mad.” 
“From her expression, she doesn’t look very pleased with the experience. And in fact,” Jaemin added quickly, grabbing Doyoung’s arm since he got distracted by the red wine, “she’s probably seeking a better one.” 
You were chuckling at some dude’s pick-up line and accepted to disappear with him out of Doyoung’s sight. 
The sweet dessert wine he tasted felt as sour as the first one.
_____
“Is the person I’m thinking about my soulmate?” “You already know the answer to that.” 
You bit your lower lip unsure. 
“What do you want me to say?” the lady smiled. “Yes or no.” “Why don’t you have faith?” 
You leaned back in your chair and let your gaze fall on the decorations on the tarot reader’s desk. The little obsidian stones reminded you of the dude’s eyes and it made you irrationally angry. 
You wanted to make him jealous. 
You wanted him to come up to you and grab your hand or something and make the boring-ass guy that approached you to leave. 
But he didn’t. 
If he really were your soulmate, wouldn’t you both feel it? Were you just going crazy? Were you lonely enough that you weighed your every desire on him?
“I saw him just twice and I don’t even know his name,” you sighed, talking almost to yourself. 
You probably unconsciously pouted because the Lady smiled kindly at you. She was no therapist but she gladly accepted to talk to you again after your first encounter. 
“Does he match the description the cards gave you?” 
“Well, he does have a very big cock, yeah,” you started. “Uhm, yes, it was that type of meeting,” you explained quickly before she could judge but the woman didn’t look unfazed. In fact, she was quite pleased to hear that. 
“You think that meeting your soulmate is just seeing them and everything falls into place. But it’s harder than that. You still have to want it and you still have to work for the union. So many people missed the opportunity to get with their soulmate because they didn’t work hard enough.” 
“Well, shouldn’t this be meant to be or something? Even if I make mistakes?” 
The Lady tilted the head to the side and for a split second you felt as if talking to a lost best friend. “We have a lot of choice in life. Everything is out there ready for you and you will get help but only if you have faith it will happen.”
_____
“You again?” he asked, fakely annoyed. 
You’ve always brushed off your mom’s words. 
“At least take your sweatpants out of your knee-high socks.” “It’s just the convenience store at the corner, mom. It’s not like I will meet my soulmate tonight at 10 pm.” 
But you actually met him and it was terrible. 
The packs of instant ramen in your hands trembled a little as the Rabbit dude passed one hand through his hair waiting for a normal human reaction from you.  
“What are you doing here?” 
“Buying groceries for dinner,” he explained then eyed your snacks. “You too, I see.” 
You tried to not let his subtle mockery get to you. “Yeah but why in this store in particular?” 
“You’re wondering if this is fate?” he giggled. 
But actually, Doyoung was the first to wonder if it was fate. 
He has never really thought of the Lady’s words in detail, nor he believed in any of it, but when he first saw you descending the hill with your moon costume as if you were the actual moon, his mind independently carved the thought of how nice it would be for you to be his soulmate.  
“I live in this neighbourhood and I assume you do too since you’re dressed like this,” he let his eyes fall and he looked at your stained pyjama pants. 
A wave of heat passed through your whole body and for the first time, it wasn’t pleasure. 
Your real soulmate would have never said that. 
Embarrassed, you cleared your throat. 
“Well, see you around then.” Turning on your heels, you didn’t wait for him to greet you back. 
“Did that guy make you cum?” 
You stopped so suddenly that the first two packs of ramen fell to your feet. You grunted and tried to bend but it was impossible to grab them without making the others fall too. With the corner of your eye, you saw the rabbit boy’s hands retrieving your stuff and when he got up again you felt his skin on the back of your hands as he pulled the remaining packs from you and let them fall in his cart. “Thank you.” 
“Answer my question.” 
You gulped but put on a brave face. 
“This is not a conversation to have in the condiments aisle.” “Then come to my apartment.” 
The intensity in his voice made your heart beat faster and then you blinked at his back as he turned around the cart and made his way towards the register. 
“Wait, my ramen!” 
He didn’t acknowledge you and greeted the cashier good evening. You awkwardly stood beside him as they beeped all of his fancy groceries. 
“Uhm-,” you extended your hands to get your ramen but they beeped that too without batting an eye and the rabbit bagged everything in a few seconds. 
“I- I could have- why-?” you followed him. “Now I have to pay you back.” “You gave me enough money last time.” 
You crossed your arms on your chest as Doyoung placed the bags inside his car's trunk.
“That was for-,” you started but stopped realizing that you were about to talk about sex on a busy street in front of your corner grocery store. 
He smiled. “Yeah?” 
“Give me my ramen now.” 
“Get inside,” he indicated with his head and without missing a beat he got behind the wheel. 
“Why do you even drive if you live in the neighbourhood?” You entered and sighed, trying to put on the seat belt. “The groceries are heavy.” “Do you even lift?” “I love lifting women but not groceries.” “You lift other women and I can’t get a guy to make me cum without you asking me questions about it?” 
Doyoung looked at you with a little smile as you stopped at the red sign. “Does the thought of me with other women make you upset or am I imagining things?” “Does the thought of guys making me cum make you upset?” you retorted. “Yes.” 
You choked on air and the movement of the car starting again made your body press back on the seat. You didn’t expect that. 
“Then why did you make me leave with him?” 
Your voice got tiny and you hoped he didn’t actually hear you because at the same moment you realized that it was a little embarrassing. But his sudden glance told you that he did. His gaze returned towards the street and his adam apple travelling up and down his throat told you that he didn’t know what to say. 
“Why did you leave with him?” he eventually asked. 
It was your turn to not speak. 
Not in a million years you’d admit to a stranger you wanted to make him jealous. A stranger that put his dick in you twice, but a stranger nevertheless. 
“We just talked a bit. I was bored.” “So I guess he didn’t make you cum.” “I don’t do hookups,” you said before realizing what you’ve just said. “I mean-,” you looked at him and he blinked back. Fuck. You told the hookups guy that you didn’t do hookups. 
“I mean, without being attracted to the person a lot. And that dude was not attractive,” you tried to explain fighting the urge to hide your face away. 
“Thank you. I’m also crazily attracted to you.” 
The car’s air became a little heavier and you thought that if you touched it with a single finger it would buzz as if made of electricity. 
The walk to the apartment complex was almost urgent. His hands didn't leave your body once when you reached the elevator as if he suddenly forgot what personal space was and when you got to his door he firstly slammed you against it, hands quick to get under your shirt. 
"Hey," you eyed the elevator's lights behind his back as he started to kiss your neck. "Someone's coming." "Let them come." The skin he sucked in made your eyes flutter and you whined feeling his fingers so close to where you needed them but so far away. "No, seriously. I think they're going to stop here." Doyoung hummed unbothered but you felt his hand press the code behind your back. Right when the elevator doors opened and you made eye contact with a cute little old lady, the door behind you opened too and you yelped falling backwards. Doyoung was quicker though and he held your waist, pulling you back into the kiss and closing the door with his heel. 
Shoes off and no time wasted, you were suddenly bent over some sort of furniture and your pants got pulled down. 
A single silent gasp left your mouth when you felt Doyoung's lips on the back of your thighs and when his fingertips grated at your sides pulling your panties down to your knees you started to pant. His hot breath tickled your pussy and you shifted in his hold. Doyoung's hands grabbed your ass to keep you in place and slapped one of your cheeks when he licked up a stripe between them. 
You whined once and put your head down and closed your eyes, fingers mindlessly grabbing whatever Doyoung kept on the cabinet. When he pushed his fingers inside, your back arched and his cologne fell to the side with the cap open. The sudden scent of it made you even wetter and Doyoung hummed appreciatively with his mouth full. 
"It feels so good," you whined again, imperceptibly grinding on him, brain not understanding when you got so horny all of a sudden. 
"Please please please make me cum this time," you begged, looking behind you and seeing his hands spreading you all out for him before his fingers could find spots inside of you that you weren't aware of having. 
"I kinda wish you'd beg some more," you heard the note of amusement in his voice.
His hands didn't stop though and before you could form any words your whole body contracted and lifted itself on the tiptoes, knees buckling and head light. Doyoung's airy breath met your spine and he held you in his arms to prevent you from slipping on the ground, kissing your back up slowly until meeting the shoulders. 
"Good girl," he brushed your ear with his lips and you remained with your eyes closed, breathing heavily and when he made you turn around, you felt your body weak as if it was made of jello. He pulled you towards himself and you heard his chuckle buzz inside of his chest. In a second he threw you on his shoulder and you let out a little cry, your limbs dangling around him. 
"I didn't know you were this strong."
He walked a few steps and turned left inside a dark corridor. You tried to look around but you barely noticed anything before he gently placed you down to sit on the bed. 
"You don't know a lot of things about me."
When you raised your head to meet his face you smiled tiredly. 
"I don't even know your name."
He tilted his head to the side amused. "Doyoung."
"Doyoung," you repeated, feeling the sounds on your tongue. 
It felt very right. 
Then his eyes fell on your naked legs and you sucked the air in, suddenly rolling in his bed, one piece of blanket to cover you up. 
Doyoung, still standing by the bed, put his hands on the hips and furrowed his eyebrows.
"I'm here with my pussy all out. That's so embarrassing,” you explained. 
"Yeah. I've just seen it up close just one minute ago." 
"I'm having post nut clarity," you added, voice muffled and only the top of your head poking out the impromptu burrito. 
"Well, I'm not having any post nut clarity since I didn't nut, so to me, it's not embarrassing."
"Oh my God you're right!" you eyed his crotch and sat up. 
"It's alright. I didn’t plan to do anything else anyway. Just wanted to cook you dinner actually since I’ve already eaten," he sat near you chuckling and took off his shoes. "My mom would hit me in the head if she knew I walked up to the bedroom with these-," but then he gasped softly as you placed a kiss to his nape. Your arms wrapped his torso in a back hug just as your legs did with his waist, draping them in his thighs. His hands automatically started to palm your knees as you made your way towards the base of his neck. 
“I don’t have any condoms,” he whispered as to stop you. 
Your fingers found the hem of his shirt very quickly and you lifted it, loving the way it ruffled his hair after you threw it somewhere on the floor. Having his bare back in front of you made you lose track for a moment and when you touched his chest you realized it was the first time that you actually saw him naked. 
“We don’t need them for what I want to do to you,” you murmured. 
He breathed in shakily. “Well, we’re responsible adults so you have to know that I also don’t do hookups so I’m completely clean but if you don’t want to--ah shit-,” he almost whined when you let your hand down his abs to palm his crotch slowly. 
He turned so cute all of sudden that your tummy did backflips as you kissed his jawline. 
“Are you saying that you want to fuck me raw?” you whispered amused. 
His cock twitched under his pants and he bit his lower lip.
“Does the thought turn you on, Doyoung? Feeling me around you, soft and wet until you can’t take it anymore? Huh?” You cooed, pouting your lips as you pronounced his name, savouring it on your tongue. 
His breathing increased and you wondered how he still kept it all together. 
“Cumming inside of me? Having your warm cum spill out-,”
He turned around suddenly and you let him push you down on the bed but only for a moment. The kisses you started to litter on his neck made his hold weaker and he threw his head into the pillow as you got on top of him. You kissed his chest slowly, then went down until you could finally pass your tongue on that single vein under his navel’s skin. 
"I'm so on edge that I might cum only with a single touch," he breathed out and you smiled on his stomach at his honest side, whining a little when he slid his fingers into your hair as if to urge you to go on quicker. 
"You should have told me," you sat on his thighs and slowly fumbled with his belt. 
He bit his lower lip and watched the little show you put on for him.  
"Well, now you know and you still want to torture me like this."
You lifted one corner of your mouth as you finally unbuttoned his pants. 
"I think you deserve it, don't you think?" 
He shook his head. "Not one bit. I've been good to you."
"Oh really? Then why don't you show me again what a good boy you can be and beg me to finally touch you?" 
"You really think you can use my ways with me?" 
You opened your mouth to reply but every word died in your throat as he reached down and pulled out his cock, pumping it up himself, a single shaking sigh of relief coming out of his mouth. "Shit-," he closed his eyes and pushed his head back, exposing his neck as his adam apple went up and down. You couldn't take your eyes off him and the sounds he started to make hit you right between the legs. His tip poked out of his fist as he fucked himself and for the first time in your life you were dying to suck a cock. 
"Doyoung-," you breathed out but his hisses made you gulp, feeling your mouth dry at the sudden spurts of cum on his lower stomach. 
"Shit," his chest rose and fell heavily and his eyes looked black underneath his heavy lids. Without being able to take it anymore you bent down and licked his tip sending shots of electricity through all of his body. 
"Ah- Y/N-," 
You sucked his cock clean and, letting it out with a lewd pop, you smirked.  
"Now you're going to take it."
And he took it well, cupping your head as it bobbed up and down, not without the most sinful sounds you've ever heard a man emit. As he placed his other hand on your cheek, you slid your own fingers down your stomach and reached your aching clit.
"Ride me?" he caressed your face with his thumbs and you looked up, basking in his fucked up expression. 
With a wet sound, you let his cock out, licking his tip once to break the string of saliva attached to it and moved upwards on his body. 
His hands were quick to grab your sides and when you started to grind on him he inhaled shakily, eyes piercing the way his shaft slid through your lips. Then he grabbed your shirt and roughly pulled it up, making you discard it in a second. 
One hand to guide your ass and one hand to grope at your breasts and you were almost cumming again. And when he reached behind you and you felt his cock poke at your entrance you lost strength in your arms and leaned down on his chest, your breasts squeezed and your skin rubbing on each other when he started to thrust into you. 
His hips' movements were deep and sharp and when you raised your bust enough for your nipples to rub on his chest he squeezed your ass and spanked it once making you moan loudly and fall back on him. So near to your orgasm, you dug your fingers into his arms not worrying about the little marks your nails left on his skin. 
And then he stopped with a grunt. 
You whined and opened your eyes to see him smirk.
"Fuck you, not again," you whispered breathlessly. "Yeah, fuck me."
And you bit your lower lip, lifting yourself up by putting your palms on his chest and started to bounce on his cock. Doyoung started to breathe with his mouth and he let his hands rest on his sides enjoying the way you were so desperately trying to chase your high. 
Your thighs were burning and your mind was clouded but you didn't stop and when you started to call his name, Doyoung finally grabbed your waist again, taking the lead and finally sending you over the edge. 
You finally cried out and pushed your face into the crook of his neck biting down on his skin as he kept going, not giving you a moment to breathe. 
And when you heard him choke against your ear too, a string of profanities lingering in his lips you felt his hot cum fill you up, but getting slowly fucked back in with his last thrusts. 
You remained like that both breathless for some time, his hands gently cupping your face to look at you. His eyebrows furrowed and he quickly dried your wet eyes. 
"Are you okay? Was that too much?" 
The concern in his voice made your heart swell and you shook your head. 
"I'm feeling very good," you smiled and his expression relaxed a bit. 
As he pulled out you felt his semen slide on your thigh and pool where your stomaches we're meeting. 
“Are you sure?” 
“Yes, Doyoung. I was just getting frustrated as always when I’m around you.” 
His hands went up and down your back as if soothing your skin. “I love how my name sounds on your lips. It feels like I’ve somehow waited my whole life to hear it.” 
You blinked a few times, the sudden sweet words so weird in his mouth that you raised your head to look at him. 
He looked back as shocked as you. 
"Wow, I feel so sticky," he changed the subject as you opened your lips to talk. You eyed the little buds of sweat on his forehead and imagined you looked as spent as him. 
"Are you also having post nut clarity?" "Yes. Everything is clear." "What's clear?" "This was one of the best nuts of my life and I want to do it again."
_____
Unable to stand on your own legs without shaking you remained sprawled on Doyoung's bed for a while, eyes heavy with sleep. 
"The groceries are still in the car," he said while zipping his pants. 
He offered to take a shower together but your growling tummy interrupted him so now you were alone in the bathtub, lazily lathering up your skin and waiting for him to come back from the parking lot. 
Relaxed from the good fuck and the hot water, you looked around curious, checking out his toiletries as if they could tell you more about this mysterious Doyoung guy. 
Perhaps it was too soon but as you collected the soapy water to blow on it you felt like falling in love a little. 
A little smile crept on your lips when you heard the entrance door open and close with a thud and you looked in the mirror to check on yourself before Doyoung could barge in. As if he didn't fuck you while you were looking crazy just moments before that. 
"That was very quick-," you started but squealed and put your hands on your chest as a man entered the bathroom not looking like your Doyoung at all. 
"Oh my God!" the guy jumped back a little before starting to laugh. 
"Who are you?" 
"You scared the shit out of me. Why are you here in the dim light?" the young man kept going without answering. 
You blinked at him. "It's relaxing."
"I'm Jaemin. Doyoung's flatmate," he finally explained and you wondered why he looked at you as if knowing you. "And you must be the winery girl."
You tilted your head to the side. "Winery girl? Do you know me?" 
"I kinda go out with your friend? The other winery girl?" 
You widened your eyes. "You're the BDSM guy?" 
For the first time since he entered the bathroom, Jaemin looked flustered. 
"Exactly what did she tell you about us?" he scratched the back of his head. 
You giggled. "My friend has been very happy lately. I know enough to make sure you're treating her well."
Jaemin's eyes lit up and you thought he was so cute to have a crush on your friend. Your mind suddenly thought of Doyoung and wondered if he might have a crush on you too. 
"Think of the devil," you murmured as Doyoung appeared behind Jaemin with the groceries bags. 
"You were thinking of me?" he smiled then suddenly realized the whole situation. "Why the hell are you looking at my naked girl?" he tried to tackle the other. Jaemin chuckled and took a few steps back in the corridor. 
"Had no idea she was here, I swear!"
_____
My girl. 
You were sitting timidly at the dinner table, wearing Doyoung's clothes and looking at Jaemin's back as he prepared the food. The water running in the bathroom and Doyoung's faint singing voice made you chuckle. 
He said, my girl. 
You put your hands to your cheeks. 
"You really like him."
You jolted and raised your head to see Jaemin comforting eyes. 
Batting your lashes you wondered what kind of expression you had on and with a little note of panic, you wondered if it was that easy for Doyoung to see it too. 
"This is a secret between us," Jaemin started lowering his voice, "but I think he likes you too. You really look like his soulmate now that I think about it."
You were about to melt but his last words made you snap out of the dream. 
"His soulmate?" you questioned, suddenly very interested. 
Jaemin shook his head as if to not give him any importance but upon seeing your curious eyes he placed the lid on the pot and sat down in front of you. 
"So it was new years," he started and you gulped. He then stopped to giggle, remembering the scene as if it played in front of himself. "We were drunk as fuck. We went to like three different parties and I was wasted. I don't know if you're familiar with the place but there's a tarot reader downtown. We were bored so we decided to go there."
Your head felt suddenly very light. "And what happened?" you asked with a faint voice. 
"Oh, we made a fool out of ourselves for sure, but the woman was nice and did a reading for Doyoung. I don't remember much but I kinda remember the physical descriptions. And you scarily look like that a lot." 
You swallowed again and you felt your mouth dry. 
"And does Doyoung remember?" 
"Remember what?" 
You gasped when Doyoung appeared on your side, a towel around his neck as he used one end to dry the back of his head. 
"I was telling Y/N about the soulmate thing, you know? When the lady told you that they'd be coming around summer?" 
Doyoung's pupils trembled a little but then he turned around and headed towards the fridge. 
"Ah yeah. I don't believe any of that though," he said and poured himself a glass of water. 
You looked at his profile as he drank and then noticed Jaemin's pitiful expression. 
"I got a reading on new year's too in the exact same place," you confessed and the silence afterwards felt heavy. 
"And your soulmate was someone that looks like me?" Doyoung joked and Jaemin giggled awkwardly. 
Your heart stung very painfully but you let out a dry chuckle too. 
“I don’t believe in it either. But it was very fun,” you lied. 
“I should have done a reading too,” Jaemin commented. 
"I'm starving," Doyoung lifted the lid and his friend got closer to stir again. 
Their voices talking about ingredients felt muffled as you tried hard to swallow your stupid tears.
_____
You had no idea why you believed the soulmates story. 
Maybe you were lonely or just plain bored but the idea of having a designated person you could be with during your lifetime felt very comforting. Especially since the Lady told you to have faith. 
Doyoung seemed to fit every category and you were so insanely attracted to him that it did not make sense for him to not be your soulmate. But do soulmates appear then disappear from your life, leaving behind nothing besides your memories of them?
Maybe you should have given him your number after you left his apartment that night, but reflecting about it with a cold mind, you did well to not seek him out given his reaction to the whole soulmates discourse. 
He was definitely not your soulmate. It shouldn’t have been this hard. 
Looking at your desk you sighed at the amount of work you had to do for the day and you imagined Doyoung walking through your door just like soulmates in movies would do. Then you shook your head trying to get those intrusive thoughts out of your head. 
Enough. 
But it was so difficult, especially as your eyes kept falling on his cologne, partially hidden behind your pens. 
You grabbed it suddenly intending to throw it out. 
"Oh sorry, I made this fall," you eyed the bottle of perfume on the cabinet by the entrance as you put on your shoes. With quick hands you grabbed it but before placing the cap on, you brought it to your face and smelled it again. "It's very nice." Doyoung, seeing you out, was leaning on the wall. "Do you like it?" You nodded. "You can keep it." You hesitated, wondering if he was joking or not. "Think of me," his eyebrows wiggled amused and if you wouldn't have been so exhausted you would have begged him to take you against the same cabinet again. 
Now, eyes closed, you were thinking of him indeed as you smelled that cologne, a shy hand slowly creeping up your thigh. 
No. You weren't about to masturbate at work but the temptation was so big that you jolted as if awoken from a dream when your phone rang. 
You breathed in and out as if to calm down and picked it up. 
"Y/N speaking."
"Hi, soulmate."
His voice made you physically shiver and your heart started to beat so fast inside your ears that you were afraid Doyoung could hear it too. 
"How did you get my number?" 
"I don't have your number. This is the winery's one and I googled it."
You bit your lower lip feeling stupid. 
"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Sorry, I'm a little tired."
"Have you been working a lot lately?" 
"Yes," you replied and it was true, but it wasn't work that clouded and exhausted your mind. 
"You need a pause then. Do you want me to help you relax?" 
His low and amused tone made your legs shift and you changed their position. 
"What do you have in mind?" 
"Are you alone?" 
"Yes," you almost whispered. 
"Then close your eyes for me."
You did timidly and the increase of your breath probably was a confirmation for him that you listened because he went on soon after. 
"Now touch your neck slowly with your fingertips. Go down to your clavicle then gently cup your breasts."
"This is making me shiver," you breathed out. 
"Good. I bet you're wearing a thin bralette and your perked nipples are poking through."
You sighed as you touched them and smiled at Doyoung's correct intuition.  
"Yes," you replied. 
"Can you play with them as I would if I were there?" 
You whined and bit your lower lip trying to resist the urge. 
"Doyoung-," this is a little inappropriate and honestly, kinda rude of you, especially since you went mia suddenly and now you want to pick up from where you left, you intended to say but didn’t manage to. 
"Do it," he commanded and your hand flew to your breasts and started to play with your nipples as if it didn't belong to you anymore. 
"Good girl. Does it feel good?" 
"Yes," you whispered. 
"Speak up love."
"I can't be loud."
"Oh really? Then, now slip one hand under your panties and rub your clit. I bet you're soaking wet and let's see if you'll be able to not be loud." 
His voice sounded like a hypnotic melody and you didn't even question it when you found yourself with the fingers gently pressing on your clit in little circles. Your breath got quicker and heavier, the grip on the phone was even stronger. 
"Doyoung-," 
"Yes, babe? Does it feel good?" he cooed. 
"It feels so fucking good-," 
"Can you slip a finger in for me too, love?" 
You nodded even if he couldn't see you and you did as he wished, the stretch so unsatisfying in comparison to Doyoung's girth to make you whine frustrated. 
"I- I wished you fucked me instead-," 
"Okay then," he replied calmly and for a split second, you wondered if the whole phone sex thing was not something you weren’t good at to make him reply so dryly when the door to your office opened and Doyoung took his tongue out at you. 
His sudden presence made you so flustered that you promptly pulled your fingers away as if he caught you doing it instead of being the one ordering you around. 
"What are you doing here?" you put your phone down with a shaking hand. 
He walked lazily towards your desk and put a paper bag on it. "Brought you your clothes."
You looked at them. "How did you get in? My secretary-," 
"Told him I was your boyfriend."
You felt the air stop inside your lungs at his words but you couldn't do much as Doyoung suddenly bent down with hands on the desk and took your still wet fingers into his mouth. 
You gasped softly as he sucked on them slowly, letting his tongue collect every single drop of your wetness, his deep eyes flickering with amusement at your visible lust. 
And you were so horny that you didn't even question it when he grabbed your wrists and made you stand. You took a step towards him but he pulled you by the waist and turned you around, pushing you towards the desk with his hips and pressing himself into your ass until you were bent over. 
"You look amazing like this, just like a little slut waiting for my cock, ain't I right?"  
You gasped for air as he pressed one palm on your spine and the other slowly raised your skirt. 
"You keep dressing like this at work. No wonder your secretary was so upset to hear that I was your boyfriend. Do you want us to put on a little show for him? So he knows his place." 
His fingers drawing lines up and down your clothed pussy prevented you from forming any words and when you felt your panties slip to the side and heard Doyoung's zip you inhaled aching to feel him inside. 
But he didn't touch you where you wanted him to. 
"Answer me," he slapped your ass and you curved your neck up with a hiss. 
"If you finally fuck me good enough perhaps I'll be loud enough for him to hear me."
Another slap. 
"Are you being a brat now? Should I not make you cum just like-," 
"Nonononono please please no please--" the string of begging erupted out of you way too easily and it was interrupted by Doyoung's dry laugh and hard cock finally slipping inside. 
You exhaled deeply and he grunted, bottoming out until you felt his hip bones on your ass. 
He remained still then he snapped. 
"Fuck fuck Doyoung--ah!" you cried out. 
"Louder."
Your voice would have increased in volume without him ordering that but it certainly added to the whole desk creaking and skin slapping symphony. 
One of his hands was palming your ass while the other pulled you towards him by the waist, but then he changed his mind and grabbed your arms by the elbows, pulling your torso up and making you curve your spine. 
You cried out his name again and stared at his reflection in the window in front of you. Eyebrows furrowed and a couple of strands of his hair fallen from the styled fringe made his gaze even deeper when you locked eyes. 
Then he smiled wickedly and a shiver shook your body knowing that nothing good will come out of that. And soon enough he let go of your arms and held your bust instead while the other wrapped your throat. You gasped for air and he attached his teeth to your shoulder sucking deeply and slowly, so different to the pace of his quick hips. 
Your desk phone rang and Doyoung held you harder as an indication to not even think about it. Not that you even cared about besides the way his cock was stretching you all out. 
The string of your choked moans just increased their tempo until you shuddered in his arms with a cry, so hard and so suddenly that his hips stopped and he let go of your throat in a second, holding your body and breathing deeply with you until you didn't whine anymore. 
A kiss on the cheek then on the neck and you turned your head around, searching for his lips. 
Your phone rang again and he smiled. 
"Answer."
"But you're still-," 
He grabbed the phone, placing it to your ear and you had nothing else to do than breathe heavily and greet with a shaking and hoarse voice. 
You understood the first three words of the person talking on the other side before Doyoung pushed you on the desk again and started to thrust into you, this time seeking his own high. 
You gritted your teeth and rotated your torso to be able to place your palm on his stomach and push your nail into his shirt. 
The look in your eyes just made him even more amused. 
“Yes, yes, no, could you please repeat that?” 
And even if the voice on the other line kindly repeated itself, your eyes rolled inside of your head and your body moved back and forth on the desk making you not understand a single thing. 
It was so highly unprofessional and inappropriate that it made your blood boil with pleasure. You hung up, making a mental note to call back and use the ‘line went dead’ excuse. 
Doyoung didn’t like that independence a single bit and he made sure to show you as you suddenly found yourself standing, no cock to stretch you out anymore and his hands on your waist turning your around. 
“On your knees.” 
You slipped down in front of him with hands on his stomach then you let them fall on his soft suit pants. 
The veins on his hand were popping when he grabbed his cock and lightly hit your lips with its tip. You let out your tongue and let it bounce on it, leaning in to be able to catch in between your lips. 
Doyoung tutted and took half a step back making your suck on air. 
“When and how I say so,” he murmured and got closer again. 
His other hand grabbed your head and kept you in place, fully controlling the way he pushed his shaft between your lips, slowly smearing his precum on them. 
“I really want to let my cum slide down your throat right now.” 
You opened your mouth eagerly and he smiled wickedly. 
It reached the back of your throat in one go and you gagged, pressing your nails into his thighs. Heavy on your tongue, you couldn’t move so it was Doyoung to slowly thrust his hips, increasing his movements until you started to drool. 
“Fuck, you’re so good-,” 
Short-breathed and fingers tightening in your hair you could feel him reaching his orgasm soon. 
You lifted your gaze up and when he pulled out to make your breath you cupped his balls with one hand and took him inside of your mouth again. 
He choked and started to grunt, meeting your movements with his erratic ones until he went suddenly still and you whined feeling his cum hit the back of your throat. 
You swallowed quickly making him hiss as he thrust a couple of times more and he pulled out slowly, a string of saliva and his seed to connect your tongue to his tip. 
“You’re amazing. You know that?” he whispered with a raspy voice. His fingers caressed your cheeks and lips as you looked up at him panting.
_____
“Do you want me to hit him with my car?” 
Knowing him, it wasn’t a joke so you lightly hit his thigh. “Jeno!”
He chuckled. 
Meeting your soulmate - it should have been electrical, like two magnets meeting each other. 
The first moment you saw his shoulders, you knew it was him. Before you even saw his face and learned his name, you sighed in relief. Finally, you’ve found him and you were at home. 
Then why was it so difficult to just be with Doyoung?
He fucked you good and kissed your lips. He made sure you were okay after fucking your throat and even massaged your feet as you tried to catch your breath on the couch inside your office. 
“Can you please bring us, like, something to drink and some snacks?” Doyoung opened the door and talked to a very mortified secretary. 
“Sure,” he suddenly got up and looked around as if not knowing which planet he was on.
“Why are you torturing that poor boy?” you rolled your eyes when Doyoung plopped back on the couch near him. “Now he’ll want to resign from the job and he was quite good at it.” 
“I think he liked it. I know a post nut face when I see one and he definitely had some fun under that desk.” 
The secretary entered the office and his lips were tight as he placed the tray with coffee on the little table in front of you. 
“Thank you,” you smiled kindly at him. 
“No sugar for you ma’am and one sugar for you sir,” he announced before leaving as quickly as he came in. 
You leaned in and took your mug, sighing when you felt it’s warmth heat your skin.
“How did he know I take my coffee with one sugar?” Doyoung furrowed his eyebrows while doing the same. 
You looked at him and shrugged. “I told you he’s good at his job.”  
And you were thankful that the boy didn’t leave because now as you talked to Jeno in your office, weeks after you’ve seen Doyoung in there, you really needed someone to do your job. 
“I’m just not even concentrating much. I think I caught feelings for him while he only saw this as-- fucking,” you threw your hands in the air once and sighed, sitting down at your desk. 
Jeno hummed pensively. “Well, he strikes me as someone too romantic for that. People who just hookup don’t behave as he does. They just fuck and leave.” 
You rubbed the bridge of your nose. “I just think he was being considerate. You can’t fuck someone’s mouth then leave them there like that.” 
Jeno hummed again. “But he did call you my girl and he called himself your boyfriend.” 
You looked up. “My girl as the girl that I fuck and my boyfriend only to make the secretary let him in.”
Your friend pursed his lips as if considering that side of events. 
“How do you even know all of these details? I don’t remember telling you any of this before,” you chuckled. 
Jeno cleared his voice. “You told me. Are you having a loss of memory too now?” 
You sighed. “Maybe.” 
The young boy cleared his voice again. “Anyway! Plan. Send him nudes.” 
“What?” you exclaimed. 
You could go around your sweet friend Jeno suggesting you to fuck Doyoung when he was the Rabbit boy but suggesting you to send the dude nudes? 
Seeing his pink cheeks Jeno must have suddenly realized what he has just said too and regretted it. 
“Trust me. He’s an air sign. They like sexting and mind fucking and all of that stuff. Now I have to go.”
You looked at him standing up. “Since when are you into astrology? Also, where are you going? We were supposed to have lunch together!” 
“Sext him and send him a good coochie pic. Bye, love you,” he left like the wind and you leaned back in your chair perplexed.
_____
"Do you trust me?" 
"Yeah," his voice was a whisper and it got engulfed by the jingle of handcuffs in your hands. 
You were so beautiful and intoxicating that Doyoung found himself having difficulties breathing when you slowly started to crawl on the bed towards him. 
“I’m glad you wore the lingerie I sent you,” he whispered, hands reaching towards you to feel the material under his fingertips. But you grabbed them with a sudden force and Doyoung groaned, finding himself pinned to the bed instead.  
“No touching,” you purred. 
The young man sighed, feeling his cock twitching on his lower stomach. 
You eyed it and smiled like a cat. “You want me to touch you, babe?” 
Doyoung nodded. “Please?” 
You licked your lips and leaned down, your lips so close to his cock to make him audible whine. A little bit. A little bit more and he would feel-
And then he woke up shaking in his bed. 
“Shit.” Doyoung closed his eyes again, rolling on his back with a certain difficulty. 
His cock was so hard that it was almost painful and he felt short-breathed. 
He looked at his ceiling again and he blinked twice when he realized by the hue of it that his phone lit up. 
With a groan he extended his arm to the side and grabbed it, narrowing his eyes at the bright screen. 
Then he choked and sat up.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“Fuck!” Doyoung exclaimed upon seeing his phone turn dark in his hands. 
With a quick roll of the body, he put his palms on the ground looking for his charger. It took him some other swears and grunts to finally charge it but the phone remained black.
“What the fuck,” he sighed, hitting his head into the pillow.
_____
It was in the way you walked, the way your feet touched the floor. 
Or maybe it was the way the air floated between your fingers when you moved your wrists as if grabbing something in Doyoung’s chest and pulling him towards you. 
The line of your back extended up until your neck, the line of your jaw, your cheeks puffing up when you laughed and your eyes closing for a second. The sound of it making his heart beat faster and a little smile creeping on his lips although he was in a very bad mood that day. 
The people you were talking to stopped looking at you and stared somewhere behind your back instead. 
Mouth still open while explaining to them that blue and red looked disgusting together, you turned around to see what caught their attention and you met Doyoung’s face. 
Your breath hitched and you had to swallow a few times before being able to speak. 
“Hey,” you straightened your back as he approached you. 
“It’s time for a lunch break,” he announced without batting an eye. 
You blinked a few times, trying to process his presence there all of a sudden. 
“You’re dismissed,” he spoke to the creative team and they obeyed him, walking away slowly and chuckling between themselves. 
You waited for them to not eavesdrop and huffed before whispering. “Who do you think you are?” 
“Your soulmate.” 
He slipped his hand in yours and started to walk towards the exit. You let yourself be dragged amused for the first steps then stopped. 
“My bag.” 
Doyoung rolled his eyes and raised his other hand that was already holding it. 
“Come on. I’m starving.” 
“Where are we going?” you asked the back of his head as you were already descending the stairs. “Why are you here?” 
“I’m annoyed,” he replied as if that was a sufficient explanation and opened the passenger seat’s door for you. "So I wanted to see you because it puts me in a good mood."
You looked at him for a few moments then sighed, trying to conceal your flustered emotions. 
“Why are you annoyed? Because you realized that leaving me on read last night was stupid?” you put on your seatbelt. 
When you raised your head Doyoung’s palms were on both sides of your face and his lips on yours. You exhaled softly, not expecting any of it so suddenly, then timidly you rested your hand on his knee. The luscious material of his suit was delicate under your fingertips so you absentmindedly started to draw little circles on it, imitating the pattern Doyoung’s tongue was making yours dance in. When he pulled away slightly you managed to look at his eyes. He placed another peck on your lips, then another. By the time he placed the third one you were giggling. The corners of his mouth raised too and you cupped his face and he flinched imperceptibly. 
“I thought you wanted to slap me.” 
“There are many reasons why I would want to slap you but not today.” 
“Not today.” 
“Be ready anytime.” 
“You too,” he kissed your knuckles before putting his hands on the wheel. “But like on the butt.”
The engire roared as Doyoung turned the keys. 
“My phone died,” he explained. 
“Yeah, okay.” 
“I swear.”
The engine roared again and you drove away from the winery's parking lot. 
You sighed, crossing your arms on your chest. 
“It’s okay. Only because you’re sweet.”  
"Am I sweet?" 
"You are." 
"You're sweet too so I can't wait to eat you out again."
You rolled your eyes playfully. "Okay, you went there." 
But he didn't do anything you'd expect him to do. Entering his apartment calmly, you both let the shoes at the entrance and you sighed to feel his soft living room rug under your bare feet. 
No bending, no pushing and no hands to knead your flesh. 
You tilted your head to the side amused as he placed your bag on the couch and ventured towards the kitchen. 
"Is Jaemin home?" you inquired. Maybe that was the reason he didn't want to rearrange your guts that day. 
Doyoung took away his jacket and slowly rolled up his sleeves. Your eyes followed his movements and although you weren't horny one bit before you saw him, now you would have been able to go on for multiple rounds with no rest in between upon seeing just his forearms. You took away your jacket too and expected him to do something already but he turned around and entered the kitchen instead. 
"I'm making spaghetti."
You blinked at his profile as he retrieved a pan and a pot, filling the latter with water. 
"Did you really bring me here for lunch?" you couldn't help but ask as you sat down at the table. 
"Yeah. Why? Is that strange?" 
You shrugged. "I don't know. You've always sought me for other things."
He faked an offended expression. "I fed you dinner last time."
You smiled. "But you also fucked me."
"You want me to fuck you after spaghetti?" 
"Not necessarily. I like just hanging out with you, but only you like it as well."
As if sensing something in your tone, his amusement wore off when he finally started to cut the onions. 
"Of course. Why wouldn't I like it?" 
"I mean, we've never really openly discussed this," you gestured between you. "Hell, I fucked you three times before knowing your name."
"You've never asked for it."
"Yeah, well, my mouth was busy doing something else." 
He smiled a little and let the onions fall into the hot pan, stirring a few times and opening the fridge to retrieve the tomato sauce. 
"How do you want to discuss it?" 
His voice got quieter and you had the hunch that he really didn't like having serious talks or emotional ones. Just like, well, just like your supposed soulmate. The thought made your stomach knot up. 
"I know this might sound a little funny, but like, what are we?" 
Doyoung added the tomato sauce and sprinkled salt, pepper and hot pepper flakes on it before stirring. His domestic look made your chest hurt in ways you've never experienced with him before and suddenly you were afraid to know what he had to say. 
"I don't know, but we can be something starting now."
You sighed a little. "Like, friends with benefits?" 
Doyoung's expression didn't change but his throat moved as he swallowed. The water started to boil and he put the spaghetti in, pushing them inside as they softened. 
"You want us to be friends with benefits?" 
No. 
Yes. 
But like no. 
You wanted the friends, you wanted the benefits, but you wanted more. 
Would you scare him away if you said that? Would he retreat just like he did when you mentioned the soulmates discourse? 
"What about you?"
Dancing around each other like two assassins about to throw the first dagger you let the silence be the witness of it. 
"I like you," he hit you first but it was no knife. It was light just like a kiss and your eyelids fluttered. 
"Really?" 
He let out a single soft chuckle. "Yeah. Why are you so surprised?" 
You gulped and looked around not knowing what to say. 
"It's just-- your whole soulmate discourse made it look like you wouldn't be romantically interested in me at all."
Doyoung didn’t speak for a moment as if trying to remember, then nodded. 
"I don't believe in soulmates." 
He placed the lid on the sauce and let it slowly cook. 
"I believe in choices. And I'm choosing you I guess."
"Don't you think that maybe you're conditioned to choose me because I'm your soulmate?" you tried to joke but Doyoung didn't smile. 
"And where would the fun be in that? My freedom? I think the universe might give you a path but you're free to follow it or not."
"Of course. But isn't it comforting to know that the universe is taking care of you that way?" 
"Maybe. Perhaps we're actually soulmates and we've met like ones but now it's our duty to do something about it. I can decide not to see you anymore. What's the universe going to do about it?" 
"Make me get into your way and annoy you?" you smiled and his lips curved too.  
"What I'm trying to say is that I think we're making our soulmates. I decide that you're my soulmate and we mould ourselves to fit each other. No one is a perfect fit."
You didn't know what to say. 
"I tried all of this time you know? I actively sought you out and maybe to you it was fate but we wouldn't be here if I didn't come to you. But you've just been waiting."
His words stung your heart and it felt like a scold. 
"I just--it's not like I don't care. I also like you. A lot. I was just--hoping for it to be soulmate like, you know? Maybe that was childish of me." 
"What did the Lady tell you? As your last words?" 
"To have faith."
"Me too. But to me, faith is putting in the effort and believing in good results. Not waiting for stuff to happen."
"I guess you're right."
"Would you have let me go if you didn't think I was the soulmate you were looking for?" 
You blinked a few times unable to speak. 
Yeah. 
You would have and the sudden realization felt so scary that your spine started to shiver. 
He has been speaking without looking at you and at your silence, he turned his head towards you. When he noticed your glossy eyes he let the pan go and walked towards you.
"Why? No. Why are you crying?" he kneeled in front of you, talking with a soft voice and he placed his hands on your shoulders. 
You shook your head shocked to see a few drops on your thighs and quickly patted your cheeks dry. Then you let out a timid laugh. 
"I don't know what happened. I got emotional all of a sudden. It's fine."
Doyoung sighed and nibbled at his lower lip. 
"What I'm trying to say is, even if someone came to me now and told me that you're not my soulmate and they are instead, I would not care. I'm still choosing whoever I want and that's you."
You felt your chin shake by itself and hated the fact that you wore your emotions on your sleeve like that. 
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" 
You shrugged. "I don't know. I feel like I fucked up something." 
Doyoung waited, his fingers gently running your arms. 
"I would have probably made the mistake of letting you go-," you sobbed, "and at first since things have been so weird and not necessarily easy I didn’t try enough-," 
His eyes softened and he pulled you into a hug. 
"You're here now. Why are you worrying about things that could have happened?" 
You wrapped his neck and hid your face into his shirt. His familiar scent culled you and you bathed in his warmth. 
"I feel like I'm very childish right now and the lady told me that my soulmate liked me for being a boss woman-," 
"I like all of our sides, you fool," he pulled you away and kissed your forehead. 
"But you’d like me more if I tied you up." "You’d also like me more if I tied you up." "I actually like it when you're subby." "See? And the lady told me that you liked me being dominant." "I do love it when you're dominant," you timidly circled his chest with your finger. "Hm, maybe I should-," 
"The pasta!" you yelled pointing your finger and Doyoung jolted turning around towards the stove. 
The pasta was completely fine and he sighed closing his eyes. 
"I thought it was on fire," he complained with a whiny tone as he turned the stove off. Quickly he drained the spaghetti and threw it in the tomato sauce stirring it afterwards. With the corner of his eye, he saw you stand. 
"Come here."
You giggled and took a few quick steps back. 
His eyes were furious and paired with his smiling expression he looked like a tornado. 
"Come here," he repeated. 
You shook your head. 
"I said-," he managed to grab you and throw you on his shoulder, "-come here."
"Fuck!" you squealed. "Yeah, fuck, that's exactly what I'm going to do to you now."
One second you were standing and the other you were lying down on the couch with the most aggressive Doyoung you’ve ever seen attached to your neck. 
The whines came quickly as he sucked your skin inside the mouth, not worrying for a second if it might become sore. As you grabbed his belt his iron fingers clasped your wrists together and you found yourself pinned with your arms above your head. Your chest rose and fell fast looking at his dark eyes under the unstyled fringe. 
“Be a good girl and perhaps I’ll think about making you cum,” he whispered through his teeth. You squirmed under him and found yourself breathless. 
“Did you hear me?” his other hand fell back the exact moment he bit down on your clothed nipple. 
“Are you not wearing a bra?” 
You giggled. “I manifested you coming to see me today. And you did.” 
His eyes were dark as they analyzed you and for an instance, you thought he’d burst into tears. 
But then he reached the hem of your blouse and lifted it up in a second, biting your nipple, letting his tongue circle it afterwards, soothing the sudden sweet pain then biting on it again, stretching it out, sucking on it, giving the same treatment to the other one. His fingers intertwined yours when he felt your wrists try to lift up from the couch and he pushed them down even harder than before. 
“Do I have to tie you all up? Huh? I bet you’d like it, right?” 
His breath was hot on your lips and so was his tongue when he took it out and slowly outlined them with his wet tip. You opened your mouth and took out your tongue too with a little moan, trying to catch him into a kiss, but he chuckled lightly and let you feel the air instead. Another whine as you lifted your head to reach him but he was quick to push you down by pressing his fingers on your throat. You choked lightly and he pouted. 
“Bad baby girls don’t get to kiss,” he murmured. "But if you really want it-" he pressed one finger on your lower lip and opened your mouth. Y
our thighs tightened their hold around his waist and you pulled him towards you even more. The trail of saliva falling on your tongue from his mouth added somehow to the wetness between your legs. 
You wanted to be a good girl. You wanted to be a good girl so badly, pleasing him and letting him whatever he wanted to you. 
Swallowing slowly, you opened your mouth for more and he finally shoved his tongue inside, kissing you deeply, grunting as he let your hands go and you were quick to let them slide under his shirt. 
His skin was hot and your fingers icy cold. He hissed when you circled his nipples and bit your lip. 
"Maybe you should warm your hands by doing something useful." He took his cock out and-
"Okay, that's enough!" Jeno threw a cloth on the crystal ball. 
"Ah! Come on! I was having so much fun," the Lady complained, jingling her earrings as she giggled. 
The boy sitting across the table made a throwing up sound. "Also, why are you still looking like that? It's creeping me out," he commented. 
The Lady looked at the mirror on her right and chuckled again. 
"I like it when Haechannie is like this," Jaemin appeared from behind him and playfully kissed his cheek. 
Jeno made another gag sound. "Gross."
Haechan shook his head and as the boys blinked he was back to his boyish looks. "I'll never get used to this," Jaemin murmured as he was not holding long hair anymore. 
"Good job guys. We did it again," Haechan stood up and yawned, lifting his arms in a satisfying stretch. "If Jaemin didn't get back home that time she was over then it might have been quicker," Jeno lifted his legs on the table and leaned down on the chair. 
“This is my first job! It was very tough for me actually,” Jaemin complained. 
“Hard for you? I had to be myself, the winery girl, the secretary-,” he counted on his fingers. 
“I had to be the cashier and I almost lost it when Jaemin said he couldn’t wait to taste your wet pussy-,” Haechan threw his head back and laughed. Jaemin imitated him soon after.
“Did you see Doyoung’s face? He wasn’t into it at all.” 
"I miss being a Gryffindor. This universe is boring as fuck,” Jeno rolled his eyes even if he was also smiling a little. 
"The next one might be as boring as this my dear friends," Haechan sat back down and brought out his book. 
Jeno groaned. "Can't we have a normal life for once? I had to pretend I was a girl. And not only. The thought of Y/N thinking I was doing BDSM stuff with that guy-," he indicated a very amused Jaemin, "-took a toll on my health." 
"I'm sorry I'm not a shapeshifter too. I would have loved to be the girl in this relationship. Also, it was you that told her we were doing BDSM stuff, not me.”
“It’s because I forgot to fully shift my arms! She thought I was-,”
"Quiet."
As Haechan spoke the guys immediately stopped talking and Jeno put his feet down. 
"The next one is going to be a hard one. We're going to a dark place."
He closed the book.
"To hell, boys."
2K notes · View notes
chaozsilhouette · 3 years
Text
Moonlit Musings
The night is such a perfect time to face one’s darkest truths. Shrouded in the moon’s light what can one do but admit to their flaws. It can be a time of rejuvenation and rebirth, only if you let it.
§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§
It was a quiet night.
The full moon hung high in the heavens accompanied by millions of stars. Not a cloud to be seen, an ideal night for passions to run wild. Normally people would be taking out their telescopes or arranging romantic picnics.
Sadly, nights like these only filled Sun Wukong with dread. It was a night like this when he was finally able to return after the Journey. That was the night he learned he had lost a precious treasure.
When he returned, he expected to be greeted by his subjects until Macaque showed himself. He expected to be strangled as the pale furred monkie admonished him for his recklessness. He expected to watch as fury transformed into tearful joy as they embraced one another for the first time in over five hundred years.
But that wasn’t what happened.
The moment he set foot back onto Flower Fruit Mountain, he sensed something was very wrong. Like his previous return trips, his subjects greeted him with loud celebrations. The new mothers showed off their infants. The young ones wasted no time climbing all over him, taking in the scent of their king.
The immortal elders, however, looked concerned.
That was when he realized Macaque’s scent on the mountain was far too faint. Even the magical signature of his clones no longer felt fresh.
Macaque was nowhere to be found. The monkeys reported Macaque had returned a few years after he stopped by the mountain earlier in the Journey but not as his usual self. He didn’t respond to any of their questions. He didn’t even take time to check in on the infants. He didn’t say a word.
He just entered the mansion, but no one saw him leave.
Entering the mansion, Wukong dashed to their room desperate for answers. Opening the doors, he saw the room was horribly empty, sure all of his belonging were exactly as he remembered them, but all of Macaque’s stuff was gone. Macaque’s closet was empty and all his books had vanished. Despite his desperate hopes, there wasn’t any signs of a struggle or hidden messages to be found.
Macaque left of his own free will, but why?
He couldn’t bring himself to sleep in the bed they shared so many nights together. Every time he dared, he awoke expect to be greeted with the comforting warmth of familiar presence, instead he opened his eyes to a cold emptiness.
The lack of answers broke his heart, but he didn’t have time to start tearing the landscape apart trying to find him. Now that he was back for good, he had so many responsibilities to catch up on. He was determined to be a good king for his subjects and that meant ughthinking things through. Plus, he wanted to spend as much time with his master and brothers as possible.
Then there was the concerning fact all his previous allies had severed their alliance with him.
Apparently after all the fuss with the Demon Bull King, word had spread that Wukong broke their alliance by disrespecting protocol and attacking the royal family. Plus, his new position as a defender of humanity annoyed more than a few respectable demons. Combined with the sheer number of powerful demons he killed on the Journey cemented the idea that having an alliance with him would only end poorly.
He was banned from court meetings and the other kings in the surrounding areas wanted nothing to do with him. The chaotic nature of his past had finally caught up to him and in the worst possible way.
He was still recognized as the Monkey King of the Sun Court but was effectively blacklisted. No one wanted to mess with him, but they also didn’t want to interact with him. Not good for his mental health to say the least.
Simians are naturally social creatures. Wukong was used to constantly being around other people and learning new things. His time imprisoned was not kind. His first year of freedom had him constantly climbing over his brothers and master just to reassure himself that this was real.
And now that he couldn’t reconnect with old faces unless it was through a battle to the death…It forced him to delve into old memories. Memories that while sweet only made the emptiness more pronounced.
§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§
Sun Wukong smiled as he watched Macaque’s reaction.
The six-eared monkie was furiously pinching the bridge between his eyebrows after he shattered a boulder with a careless headbutt as though it would make his life mercifully easier. “You’ll have to explain it to me again. What did you mean by ‘no longer under Yama’s jurisdiction’?”
“Exactly what I said. I was napping. Having some time to myself, when out of nowhere some idiots tried to take my soul to the afterlife.” Wukong explained as though having entities of death rip out your soul to drag it to the underworld was no big deal.
“Bet you weren’t happy.” Macaque couldn’t help but smirk at the flippant tone. He just made it so difficult to stay mad.
“Not in the slightest. I barged my way to the top brass, bunch of cowards called the Ten Kings (totally undeserved titles by the way) and demanded what the fuck was going on.” He was still ticked off even if the payoff was sweet. Seriously! Did immortality mean nothing to these cowards? They couldn’t even play it off as him dying in battle. He was in the peak of his youth! “Can you believe they tried to play it off as a misunderstanding? Should have smacked the loudmouth when I was there.”
“So, through a series of ridiculous events, you erased your name from the records of the dead.” Macaque could easily piece together the rest from there. No matter how ridiculous the odds. He learned never to bet against his friend when a problem could be handled with brute strength or intimidation. If it didn’t look like such an answer was possible, clearly, they hadn’t experienced the force of a determined Wukong. Something about facing a ticked off monkie of practically infinite strength and invulnerability left harden conquerors pissing themselves.
It was hilarious.
“Not just mine. In my infinite wisdom, I erased the names of several of the monkey inhabitants of esteemed Flower Fruit Mountain, including yours.” Wukong playfully booped Macaque’s nose.
Turning away to hide a light blush, Macaque scoffed to cover his embarrassing response. “Typical. I can’t leave you alone for five minutes without you doing something insane.”
“I know. I’m just that awesome.”
“So what? Are we now double immortal?” That was the question wasn’t it. Due to their master’s instructions, they were immortal and ageless, so what exactly would this give them? He didn’t feel any different. He couldn’t sense any new powers or changes in his instincts.
His counterpart, however, had other things on his mind. “Who cares. All I know is that those idiots have no control over our souls anymore.” And with that the King took his rightful place across Macaque’s lap as the other returned to his scrolls.
Wukong instead took the time to examine his friend, who finally gained enough confidence to fully drop his glamour and embrace his true appearance.
He still couldn’t believe Macaque actually had six ears. The weird part was how natural they looked, almost as if seeing him with only two was bizarre. The coolest part was how each pair softly glowed a different color. Blue. Purple. Red. Sometimes Wukong would just stare at them, imagining that he could see glittering stars emanating from that glow.
Suddenly those magnificent ears twitched. Macaque didn’t bother looking up from the bamboo scroll. “A trespasser...multiple, boar and vulture demon. Another hunting party”.
“Again. Ugh. Don’t these idiots ever give up!” Don’t get him wrong, Wukong loved a good fight. What better way to prove how superior you are to others than to steal what’s most precious to them? But even he was starting to grow bored with the sheer number of hunters that thought kidnapping his subjects was a quick cash grab.
After the fifth army he returned in pieces to the surrounding upstart lords, you’d think they’d take a hint.
Thankfully he wasn’t the only powerhouse on the mountain. “I haven’t tasted blood in a while. Why don’t I defend the kingdom while your highness enjoys a show?” Macaque set aside his reading material, eyes glittering with bloodlust.
Wukong returned the smirk with one of his own. “I’m always up for a good thrashing. One request: make it glorious.”
“Don’t I always.” Macaque joked as he retrieved his spear from his own shadow.
Wukong summoned his cloud and claimed a good vantage point. Once again, he marveled at his friend’s hearing. Judging by the distance it would have been at least three hours before he would have detected their presence.
Kicking back, he transformed some hair into a fruit platter and waited for the screams.
§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§
To this day, Wukong knew Macaque was alive. Thanks to his efforts combined with the intense training, the monkie was double immortal. Besides, that monkkie was way too stubborn to die. He would survive purely on spite if he had to.
Macaque left, but why?
While he may have effectively isolated himself, that didn’t mean he didn’t hear about the other courts. A few centuries ago, he heard rumors about the formation of a new court by someone under the title of the Macaque King. Supposedly they were a powerful monkie who knew way more than he had the right to. For a brief moment, Wukong dared to hope it was his old friend, but it didn’t last. The few recounts he caught described him with black fur. Besides, he knew how much Macaque hated the title of King. Even when Wukong offered him the position as co-ruler of his kingdom, the pale monkie adamantly refused.
Still, he was curious.
For a few weeks he could have sworn he detected a familiar scent hiding underneath Mk’s. And he wasn’t the only one who noticed. A few of the immortal monkeys questioned him on the mango infused scent and what his plans were. It was almost too much to take in.
To think he returned to teach his student instead of showing his face. It hurt just to think about it. He chose to ignore the beckoning scent until it became impossible to ignore MK’s leap in progress. Then it just vanished like it hadn’t been testing his patience. Like it hadn’t brought him to the brink of shaking the kid upside down until he confessed where his old friend was hiding. The kid probably grew wise, or someone told him to change his bathing habits, and by the next training session it was all but gone.
Dragging his hand down his face, Wukong tried to reevaluate his thoughts.
Getting mad at the kid wasn’t going to solve anything. He knew he hadn’t been the most attentive master. Hell, the whole hammer exercise at its core was a desperate attempt to remove a painful reminder of better times. His master would be disappointed in how he was running away from his problems, but would encourage him to take the steps to be better. Zhu Bajie would be a sarcastic little shit, trying to get him riled up so the monkie would prove him wrong. Sha Wujing would sit him down and wouldn’t let him leave until they talked everything through.
He had to make things right with the kid. He deserved a better master. And this New Years he was gonna get one.
He spoke, praying the winds would carry his voice to his Warrior.
“Macaque. I know it’s been a while, but…I-I want to talk. I know you’re out there, somewhere I can’t reach. I miss sparring with you. I miss lazy days napping in the shade by your side. I miss defending the mountain as we held contests to see who could take out the most trespassers before their common sense kicked in. I miss you. Please come home.”
§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§
The moon was high in the sky. Stars danced in the heavens as the faintest hints of vibrations pulsed through the concrete from the late-night dance clubs. MK lay awake, his mind struggling to make sense of it all.
Ever since Macaque disappeared in order to remain undetected, he kept thinking about his relationship with the Monkey King. Sure, he was being trained and he was definitely making progress. The monkie was still on his case for supposedly cheating on him with another mentor. Nothing MK said or did could make the monkie think otherwise. Thankfully, he was no longer shooting him suspicious glares, but the underlying tension remained.
The sad truth is they just weren’t that close.
He would have expected to learn more about the Monkey King on a personal and emotional level, but he just couldn’t get past that wall. Their training sessions felt more like just the Monkey King arranged just to get it over with. There was no passion at all.
Okay, perhaps that last bit was an exaggeration.
When you peered past the arrogance and pride, you found one socially awkward monkie. It was similar to Red Son the more he thought about it, both seemed to find it difficult to talk to or relate to others in a friendly setting. Sure, Monkey King projected a friendly demeanor and called him “bud”, but if he didn’t know any better he could have sworn the monkie was afraid to take that final step.
The last few sessions had taken a bit of a turn in a positive direction as Sandy would say. Maybe Monkey King decided it was time to make a change? Maybe this was all a trick so MK would lower his guard and reveal Macaque’s identity? Maybe he was just tired and should have conked out an hour ago?
Maybe.
Reality was so different from the legends. When Tang first introduced him to the Monkey stories, he was hooked. He loved listening to the tales of the infamous trickster that flipped off every major religious figure with unbridled confidence. Meeting the Great Sage in the flesh was like a dream come true until he was exposed to the King’s less pleasant tendencies.
Mk couldn’t help but wonder just how much confidence the Monkey King had in his training skills. Did he ever train someone before? Could MK talk to someone about this without appearing even more ungrateful than he already looked? Why didn’t he stop Red Son from unsealing his father when he was there? Why didn’t he simply seal the entire family when they were reunited? Why did the five times immortal sage decide that now he needed to train a disciple? Was Monkey King not telling him something important?
He had so many questions and not even the foggiest idea of where to start looking. Or perhaps he did?
The truth was he missed Macaque. The dark-furred monkie may have only taught him for a month, but the progress he made and the level of care he was exposed to made him feel as though he had finally unlocked the ability to fly.
He missed the regular grooming. He missed learning about the demon community. He missed learning new ways to mess with Red Son through appropriate court manners.
Watching the fire user freeze up at the term “honorable prince of the Iron Bull Court” just made him laugh, when his hair combusted it really matched his face. Now that he thought about it, were those horns starting to peek out of his forehead? And maybe the slightest hint of a tufted tail swiping the bottom of his coat? Seeing the demon frantically compose himself was a treat he didn’t know he needed. He still had the video saved as one of his favorites, didn’t hurt that Mei caught it at the perfect angle.
Oh yeah, he missed that.
With any luck, New Years would be the start of something better.
§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§
On an island that remained surrounded by unquenchable storms, a single black-furred monkie sat cross-legged in a secluded part attached to the palace. All around him fruit trees and bushes bore a hefty bounty releasing an intoxicating scent of life.
Ears twitched.
Macaque opened his eyes, aroused from his meditation. It was odd. He had the faintest sensation that someone had been talking about him. Now that wasn’t exactly unusual, he made plenty of allies and enemies across the centuries. What was odd was that the voice sounded like someone he once cherished.
But that couldn’t be right.
The deceptive silence of his personal orchard gave him no answers. Not that he really expected it to.
For some reason he refused to identify, Macaque turned to the single peach tree in the grove. A tribute from his past and a reminder of his mistakes. But it was also a valuable resource once he learned the truth about the peach’s properties. He used its powers to protect many happy relationships, if only it could have helped him so long ago.
No matter.
He still had many projects to work on, including one successor just rife with insecurities. He honestly felt bad ducking out as he did. If things were different, he would have offered him a new life. His Stars were always happy to welcome a new member into their budding community.
As a bonus, his presence would have interrupted their constant attempts to set him up with new dates. He adored their efforts but being paired with partners who only wanted power or he would view only as friends was not something he enjoyed. Although watching them mentally destroy those they didn’t find suitable for him was quite entertaining.
Either way, New Years was coming up fast and he still needed to approve a few changes. His Stars were determined to make sure this event topped last years in every way possible, but they had to make sure they didn’t set the orchard on fire again. Or worse, they could launch the fireworks into the storm barrier. He wasn’t sure why or how, but the tornadoes and clouds turned different colors as explosions rang throughout the night.
It was beautiful but lost its charm after the third day.
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promenadewithme · 3 years
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harry potter and prompt 41 please 💖
My first request!! Yay!! Thank you so much! I hope you like this!
Pairing: Harry Potter x Reader
Prompt: 41 (”You owe me a kiss”)
Warnings: Fluff, kissing and soft Harry.
Word count: 898
Tell me if you want to join my tag list (Harry Potter or everything)!
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DADA and Kisses
The air was chilly as you left your last class of the day and made your way to through Hogwarts. It was still early, which meant you could go to the library and spend the rest of the afternoon studying. You put on your scarf, adorned with your house colours, and walk across the campus. Autumn was coming around, so the leaves were turning all hues of yellow, orange and red. Hogwarts was always beautiful, but there was something about it during fall that made it all the more magical. Smiling, you finally enter the library and find a seat close to the DADA section.
You have always been a committed student, but Defense Against the Dark Arts was never your forte and your grades started slipping last test, so you decided to give more attention to the subject. That’s why you have been spending every free time at the library and seeing less and less of your boyfriend. You weren’t neglecting him, of course not! The infamous Harry Potter always found a way to get on Snape’s nerves, so he was either at detention or studying with you to try to get on the professor’s good side for once. The pair of you would study side by side, when possible, or just find a way to be together. Even if doing separate things. 
After leaving your bag and scarf at your seat, you proceed to find a book on dark creatures. You were so focused on the titles you didn't even notice a presence behind you, so you jumped as your boyfriend snaked his arms around you, ready to bring out your karate moves when you heard him chuckle behind you.
“Merlin, calm down. It’s only me, love.” He mumbled, his voice so deep and calm.
“Sorry, was a bit distracted is all.” You said, turning to meet his gaze. He looked down so lovingly your heart beat a little faster. Small “hellos” were exchanged before he dipped down and pressed his lips to yours. It was a slow and sweet kiss, you wished you could stay like this forever, but you both parted for air.
“I thought you had detention today?” you asked.
“No, that’s tomorrow. So, I thought maybe I’d spend the afternoon with you! If you want to, that is! Because if you don’t I could see if Ron is busy or if he is I-” you cut the awkward, blushing boy off by saying “I’d love to spend the afternoon with you. I just have to study DADA foi a bit then we can do something else, yeah?” He nodded, smiling softly still a bit flushed. So cute you thought to yourself while sitting back down, book in hand. 
As the minutes passed by, you could sense Harry staring at you, but you didn't mind, continuing to read the book. A bit more time passed, and he started caressing your thighs, then kissing your shoulder, which progressed to kissing your neck.
“Harry...”
“Yes, love?” he mumbled from your neck.
“I really do need to finish studying.” Your voice failing slightly.
“Go ahead, then.”
“You’re distracting me.” He stopped and looked at you. “I know, I just miss you.” You took some time to really look at him. His hair was messy, his uniform all over the place, but most of all he looked tired. Harry knew how seriously you took studying, so for him to be distracting you, you knew he was needy today.
“I’ll tell you what, I have two pages left in this chapter. Let me finish this and we can leave. We’ll do whatever you want, okay? But no distractions! That means no touching and no kissing, Mr.” you said, feigning seriousness towards the end, poking him playfully on the chest.
“Well that’s not fair!”
“The more you distract me, the longer I’ll take.” He smirked at that and said “Alright, fine. But if I do refrain from touching you during the time in which you finish studying, I get a reward.”
“What kind of reward, Potter?” you asked, smirking along with him.
“I think I’ll deserve a kiss. A proper kiss from you, love.” He said, putting a stray hair behind your ear. You would have kissed him anyways, but if he needed the incentive... 
“Deal.” “Deal.” He was smiling from ear to ear as he leant back on his chair, waiting for you to finish. You looked back down and it took everything in you to go back to focusing on DADA and not the beautiful boy next to you. You were quite surprised with his self-control as you finished the last paragraph, and he still hadn’t moved. 
“I’m done! Let’s go.” you said, packing your things and putting the book back in its respectful place when you heard Harry say “Not so fast, love. I do believe you owe me a kiss.”
He had one arm around your waist, while the other hand cupped your face. “Ah, yes! How could I forget?” You asked, smiling and leaning in. He then captured your lips in his, pressing you up against the bookshelves in a slow, but passionate kiss. When you parted for breath, he looked at you with a smile and said “Let’s go, love. We still have a lot of kissing to do and I don’t think the librarian would be very happy if she found us here.”
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kcrabb88 · 3 years
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Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!
Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed! 
Movies/Documentaries
Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)
Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)
God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)
The Half of It:  When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!) 
Saving Face:  A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)
Moonlight:  A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)
Carol:  An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)
Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)
Pride (Hulu Documentary):  A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)
Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!
A New York Christmas Wedding:  As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!) 
TV Shows 
Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)
Sex Education:  A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!) 
Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.
Gentleman Jack:  A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence  that will make you gay just by watching!) 
Tales of the City (2019):  A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!) 
The Haunting of Bly Manor:  After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)
Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)
Books
Loveless by Alice Oseman:  Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)
Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)
A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).
Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original. 
Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!
One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston:  For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)
The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer! 
Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters:  Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)
(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!) 
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heyyyharry · 3 years
Text
Deep End - Chapter 11: Date Night
…in which Ezi’s first date gets interfered.
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Word count: 2.5k
AU: famous!harry, siren!mc, adult modern retelling of the little mermaid? lol, fake dating, enemies to lovers.
WARNING: MATURE THEMES
All chapters / Synopsis / Moodboard / Playlist
Wattpad link
A/N: sorry this chapter is so short. I was emotionally unstable when I wrote this last week :D I'll try to write more for the next one.
Also, please follow my writing account on Instagram: @allie.writes :) Don't forget to leave comments on this chapter!
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“Hey, do you remember Dolores?” Dawson asked.
“How could I forget?” Ezili murmured, eyeing her sister up and down.
Of course Ezi remembered Dolores. She couldn’t if she tried. Whenever she looked at Koa, all she saw was what she could never be, what her mother wished that she was, and it only made her despise herself. When she’d first arrived here, she had felt so out of place, but at the same time, free. She still revisited her old life in her sleep, which made her wake up screaming during the night. And despite all the struggles she’d gone through, she felt appreciated. Harry wasn’t anywhere near great, but he wasn’t bad. He looked out for her even though she wasn’t his kind. And she knew if her mother knew she felt this way about a human, she would not be standing here.
But why was she thinking about Harry? He wasn’t here. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked around as the vibrant atmosphere of the night market drowned out her thoughts. Her sister came forward and pulled her into a hug. She could feel Koa’s claws leaving marks on her shoulders, but she knew it was just her imagination.
Koa withdrew with a smile and lifted those perfect human hands with short blunt nails and twisted her hair into a bun. She looked so human, so natural. Ezili wondered how Koa it, but then she caught a glimpse of the trident hanging on a chain around her neck. She’d been using magic.
Immediately, Ezili grabbed Dawson’s hand and pulled him to her side. Koa tilted her head, looking quite confused, which Ezili knew was all an act. Meanwhile, Dawson was blushing. He cleared his throat. “So...Dolores is also here for the book fair. Mind if she joins us?”
“Not at all,” Ezili said with a tight smile.
“Great!” Koa said, hands clasped against her chest.
Ezili tried to figure out what her sister’s intentions were. Was she here to kill Ezili? Was she here to kill Harry? What if she thought Dawson was Ezili’s new target and was here to kill him? Also, how many humans had she killed for her to be here, dressed, act, and talk like a real human girl?
Ezili walked beside Koa as the girl went on and on about how she’d just moved to London, and all the places she’d visited and enjoyed. She must have got all this information from the magic of the trident. She couldn’t be more human than Ezili, who’d had to learn everything by herself.
“Harry?”
Ezili’s heart gave a lurch when she spotted his face in the crowd. It started with a feeling of comfort, like finding a warm bed in the middle of the raging ocean. But then a tidal wave of anxiety crashed down upon her, and she momentarily forgot about Dawson and her sister. She rushed toward him, pushing past a group of tourists and teenagers who cursed at her.
“There you are!” Harry said, spreading his arms. “My favourite fish.”
“What are you doing here?” she hissed and tugged hard at his sleeve. “Why did you follow me here?”
“I didn’t follow you here.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not,” Harry sighed and poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue as he looked around. “Where’s Dawson anyway? Why are you standing here all by yourself?”
Ezili had no time for his questions. “Harry, go home.”
“I’m here to buy books!”
“Oh, yeah? What books?”
“This one,” he said, grabbing a random book from a display shelf they were in front of.
“The Sex Life of Pets?”
“Oh.” His smile dropped as he read the title. “I mean, it does look kinda interesting.”
“Harry, go home. I’m fine.”
“I don’t think you are. Dawson left you here all by yourself.”
“He’s taking care of something,” Ezili said anxiously as she put her arms around herself and rubbed. The air was getting cold. She hadn’t had to feel the cold when she’d been a siren. She hated how weak humans were. A slight change of the weather could get them all messed up.
She was about to tell Harry to go home right now because her sister was here, and Dawson might be in danger. Ezili’s job here was to kill one of these men, not save them every single time. But to her surprise, Harry took off his coat and put it around her shoulders. “Come home with me,” he said, gently. “If you stay here, you might get lost among all these tourists.”
“No, you go home,” she said, pushing his shoulder, but he didn’t budge. “It’s not safe here for you.”
“How?” he chuckled. “I know London like the back of my hand.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Ezili, you’re acting stran—” Harry was about to finish his sentence when his smile vanished. He pointed over Ezili’s shoulder. “Is that Dawson talking to your sister?”
Ezili whirled around, relieved to find Dawson still alive, but the grin her sister gave her while Dawson was talking to a seller made her uneasy.
“Harry, go home,” she snapped at Harry, shoved him hard so he stumbled back. If something happened, she could only save one of them, and she knew for a fact it would be Harry.
“I’m not going home and leaving you here—”
“And I won’t save you if my sister does something again. I’ll save Dawson, and you don’t want to die, do you?”
At first, she thought those words were all harmless, until she saw the way Harry’s smile dropped, and his shoulders slumped. He said nothing, only nodded. Koa and Dawson were heading towards them now. It was too risky to have Harry here.
“Go!” she shouted and pushed him hard. He didn’t joke about it or react, just held her gaze for a moment and walked away.
“Is that Harry? Harry!”
“He’s leaving, Dawson,” Ezili said and turned to her sister. “Could you come with me to the restroom?”
“Yeah, sure!” Koa happily said, then waved at a puzzled Dawson as she got dragged away.
“What are you trying to do?” Ezili asked in Séren when they were far enough from Dawson, but not too far; she still needed to keep an eye on him just in case.
“Nothing,” Koa answered in their mother tongue. “Although Pretty Boy over there looks quite delicious.”
“Stop it!” Ezili snapped. “You’ve been breaking so many rules around here. You’re not allowed to use the magic of the trident for personal gains.”
“Mother entrusted me with it,” Koa mused.
“I’m sure she’d be happy to know what you’d used it for,” Ezili said, disgusted.
Koa’s dark pink lips curled to the side. “You’re jealous,” she said, leaning back, arms crossed.
Ezili had no time for this. “Please go home,” she told her sister. “I have things under control here. I’ll return in a year with the heart.”
“But you don’t have a whole year,” Koa said. “One year could be a lifetime for these creatures. Humans are fickle. They can stay married for twenty years and still can’t love each other.”
Ezili scoffed, eyebrows raised. “Does the trident tell you that?”
“No, Dolores did,” Koa said, twirling a strand of hair around her finger innocently as if she weren’t talking about someone she’d murdered for no reason. “She hated her husband,” she went on. “I heard her talking on the phone with someone about how she had never loved him, and they had two grown children together. Can you believe it? These creatures made up the thing called ‘marriage’ - a lifetime commitment, which they could not keep up with themselves. And as much as your pretty head wants to see the good in these filthy creatures. They are far from good. Not only do they harm other living things, they also harm their own kind. Physically and emotionally.” Koa put her hand on Ezili’s shoulder and squeezed. “That boy you’re so attached to is no different, Ezili. He will never love you.”
Ezili bit her lip and brushed her sister’s hand off of her. “Don’t tell me about humans when I’ve been here for longer than you do.”
“And yet,” Koa said, “you’re still here.”
Ezili wanted to tell Koa she was wrong for doubting Ezili, but Koa wasn’t wrong. Recently, Ezili had been doubting herself, too. She had even considered switching her target from Harry to Dawson, but she could not feel the same connection she’d had with Harry.
“I have an offer for you, Ezili,” Koa’s voice dragged her out of her own thoughts. She blinked at her sister. “Before your birthday, which was supposed to be your coronation day, you may come back to the Queendom. You’ll tell Mother that you cannot accomplish the mission and ask her to make me Queen of the Seven Seas. Then we’ll have a new Queen as planned. Our evil aunt can’t plot against the throne. And when I’m Queen, I’ll make sure you won’t be banished. You’ll get to keep your title as a princess and stay in the castle.”
Ezili hated that she wasted a second to actually consider the offer. “No. I won’t do it,” she spat, stepping back. “If I accepted this offer, no one and nothing in the ocean world would take me seriously. I would become an outcast anyway.”
Koa rolled her eyes and laughed heartily. “At least you’ll still be protected by the army and you’ll have a family. Or would you rather join the mermaids collecting gold all day for your sad little collection? Also, I’m sure the white sharks would love an abandoned siren.”
“I’m going to be Queen,” Ezili said through clenched teeth. “I’m bringing Mother the heart no matter what. Now you go home and tell her just that. And be careful with my trident that you wore around your little breakable neck.”
Koa opened her mouth to speak, but Ezili didn’t give her a chance. She put up a hand and shouted, “Dawson, let’s go! Dolores is just about to leave.”
.
.
.
Ezili didn’t know what time she arrived home. She tried not to think about her sister’s words, which had clearly been for the purpose of making her doubt herself. She still hoped Dawson had had a great time tonight. They’d bought some books after she’d got rid of Koa, then stopped at a restaurant on the way back to Harry’s mansion. She’d apologised when he’d dropped her off for not being quite herself tonight, and she hated how he’d cheerfully said, “It was nothing. No worries.” Why did humans lie about how they felt all the time? If something bothered you or made you uncomfortable, why not just say it? Why did they feel the need to complicate things? It was hard enough for her to understand human emotions, and they expected her to be able to guess?
“Hey,” Harry said when their eyes met and she froze in the doorway. She’d expected him to be sleeping right now. “You look clean. Guess your sister didn’t kill Dawson?”
Ezili narrowed her eyes at him and kicked off her shoes. “No. Nothing bad happened.”
“Oh, man. I was hoping he was dead.”
“Shut up,” she said. “Also, I don’t think my sister will ever bother us again.” That, she wasn’t sure. She just wanted to be reassured even if it was by her own words.
Harry got up, hands slipped into his pockets. “Sooo...how was your date?”
Ezili pretended she hadn’t heard that question. “Why are you still up?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Had too much coffee earlier.” Then repeated, “How was your date?”
“It was fine,” Ezili said. "Why did you show up?"
"I was just making sure you wouldn't cause any trouble? Your name is tied to mine now, in case you've forgotten."
"How can I? You literally remind me of our fake relationship every two seconds."
“Why are you so pissed off?”
“I’m not.”
“You clearly are,” he persisted.
She let out a sigh, about to just go upstairs and ignore him for the rest of the night, but this one question kept tugging at her. So she had to ask.
“Have you ever been in love?”
Harry looked confused for a second. “No. Never. I think I’ve told you about what happened with my exes.”
“But did you love them at one point?”
“Well, I thought I loved them,” he said. “But looking back now, I don’t think I know what love is. It’s just...a lot of times, I want to be alone. Just me and Chilli. If someone enters my life and stays around for too long, it makes me uncomfortable.”
“But I’m also living here. We see each other all the time.”
“It’s not like I have a choice to kick you out,” he said, then instantly looked regretful.
Ezili padded across the room and stopped in front of him. “Why would anybody want to be alone?” She knew she didn’t. She was doing all this just to be accepted by her kind, but he, who had everything from fame and wealth to a supportive family, wanted to be left alone?
“You’re not the first girl to ask me that,” he said with a grin. “I think it has a lot to do with how I was brought up. I feel like everyone has these certain expectations for me, and when I don’t meet those expectations, I disappoint them. I just want to be by myself so I can just be me. I don’t want to adjust myself to the presence of others.”
Ezili nodded then moved a bit closer.
“What are you--”
She surprised him by placing her palm on the left side of his chest. Her skin tingled with the sensation of his little unsteady heartbeats when she came near. “But there’s nothing here,” she mumbled as if it would make sense to him. “You were telling the truth.”
“What do you mean?” Harry let out a nervous laugh and reached for her hand, which she withdrew before he could touch.
“Nothing.”
Harry’s smile faded. “Did Dawson say anything about me?”
“No. We hardly talked about you.”
“What about your sister? Why is she here?” he kept asking when she brushed past him and headed for the stairs. “Does your mother want you back? Ezi, what happened tonight?”
“Nothing,” she lied. “I’m just tired. Goodnight, Harry.”
“Ezi,” he said, his voice soft and pleading as if he could love her for a moment. But how could he? How could a man, who had lived his whole life without falling in love and prided himself on his loneliness, ever fall in love with a siren? He’d said he’d wanted to kiss her again, but there he’d stood in front of her and claimed her presence in this house made him uncomfortable. Then when her hand had been on his heart, she had felt nothing.
So had he lied about it? Humans lied about how they felt all the time. If they could lie about wanting to spend the rest of their life with one person, they could lie about wanting to kiss a siren.
Maybe, just maybe, Ezili should consider her sister’s offer.
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lollytea · 3 years
Text
Girl Talk
(ngl I hate this sm. I wrote this fic yesterday, the file corrupted and i lost everything, had a breakdown, rewrote everything the next day because I am obnoxiously stubborn. Anyways Hunter and Luz content. Bon Appetit?)
(READ ON AO3)
“Okay, but what am I even supposed to say to her? Oh! Maybe I could write down some jokes on the back of my glyph slips in case things get awkward. Wait, no, I don't want her to think I'm not taking this seriously. I don't need to be goofy all the time just to hang out with her. I need her to know that I'm serious about her and this whole...romantic thing. And I know she gets upset when she thinks I'm making fun of her so...”
“Alright, so, get this. It says here that there was once this old witch who lived on the outskirts of Latissa and his whole thing was experimenting by mixing paints and magic together. Apparently the stuff he created was like....super powerful.”
“I mean, she said she likes me 'cause I'm goofy and funny and lovable and...and...and I'm sure there's other adjectives I could use but I'm drawing a blank here. So, who am I to deprive her of what she signed up for? But I can't just....ugh, I can't even think right!”
“It doesn't have a lot of info on his specific technique but I'm sure if we did some more research, we could successfully replicate his experiments. We're pretty good at figuring stuff out. Woah, wait. I wonder what would happen if we created glyphs with this paint....maybe it would enhance the spell's level of power. Oh, that would be so cool!”
Luz stopped pacing, the floorboards practically burning after she thoroughly wore down the surface with her frantic footsteps. She set a hand on her hip and turned a withering look on her guest.
“Call me coocoo but I don't think you're listening to a word I say.”
Hunter lifted his head to blink up at her, chewing on the end of a pen. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, boxed in by towers of Eda's Wild Magic books.
There was a glassy look in his eye, as if he was trying to get his bearings after being abruptly yanked out of an alternate dimension.
He had been, in a way. Luz was inclined to call it “Booksville.”
When Luz first met Hunter, this sort of stuff was a big, huge No-No for him. She could've invited him to take a look at any one of those books, packed with information on that obsession of his and of course, he'd be crazy with intrigue but he would hesitate. If he even opened the book at all, he'd card through the pages with an almost jumpy sense of caution, as if the paper itself would sting his fingers.
Well, that ship had certainly sailed. It had taken him a while to get fully comfortable but nowadays, Hunter didn't ask twice before digging into the contents of Eda's books, soaking up every tidbit of every sentence until he had exhausted every page.
He had even brought his own index flags to mark his favorite passages. He had gone on a little rant earlier about how Eda was an outright maniac for dog-earring the page corners.
Luz made a mental note to never show him the state of her Azura books. He would probably cry.
Hunter had become so lost in the Wild Magic sauce, he didn't even seem to care about the fact that he was not supposed to be here.
Of course, Eda didn't mind that he was here. That is to say, Luz didn't technically tell her he was here. She and King were currently out, being menaces to society and all that fun stuff, as they usually were before Luz would sneak Hunter in.
So, to be fair, Eda had never specifically said that Luz was not allowed to let The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven into their home.
It was probably fine, right?
Yeah, it was probably fine that Luz had been hiding The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven in her bedroom like some kind of forbidden pet.
Speaking of forbidden pets, that precious red cardinal of his was perched like a Christmas decoration atop his shoulder. That little rascal did wonders for Hunter. He seemed so much cuter than he was when there was an adorable little palisman snuggling up to him.
Once Hunter had processed what Luz said to him, his features screwed up tight. He was offended.
“Whadd'ya mean I'm not listening? I bet you can't repeat anything I was just talking about.”
“Ugh! Yeah, Hunter, I heard you. Paints! You wanna start painting as a hobby and let me just tell you, I fully support your budding creativety and will hype up your work with my entire heart but please. Right now I am having a full blown Amity Calamity!”
“Yeah, okay, that is not what I was talking about. Also, I get that you're freaking out n' all but....what do you expect me to do about it?” He threw his hands about wildly, at a complete loss. “Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,”
“I don't knowww....” Luz groaned. “I just....ugggghhh.” She buried her head in her hands, ruffling her hair into oblivion, like it would miraculously stimulate her brain cells into action. It released some pent up frustration, at least. “I wish it was easier for us to just talk about girls together.”
Hunter perked up. “Talk about girls? Are you kidding? Of course we can talk about girls, dummy!”
“Wait, really?” Luz asked, taken aback by this apparent development.
“Yeah, for sure. One sec,” Buzzing with eagerness, Hunter dove into his stacks of books, emerging seconds later with a worn, dust encrusted volume. It was so ancient, the title had faded away but Hunter still put his finger to where the big letters should be.
“Notable Female Witches of The Savage Ages,” He rattled off delightedly. “They were considered the mothers of Wild Magic. Their style of spell was really quite advanced, see they--”
Despite her frayed nerves, Luz sill managed a weak laugh.
As insufferable as he could be sometimes, she really did like this nerd a lot.
“Okay, Hunter. Buddy,” She said gently. “This stuff sounds really cool and I wanna hear all about it at some point buuuut....when I say girls, I mean...y'know. Amity specifically.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah.”
Hunter's face fell with disappointment but he was quick to snap back into a look of cool indifference. He shut the book in his lap with a soft thump, set it aside and turned his full attention to Luz.
“Sooooo...” he began awkwardly, scratching at his ear. It could not be more obvious that Hunter wanted nothing to do with this discussion. But Luz appreciated that he was trying. “Girlfriend problems, huh? Shoot.”
Luz's cheeks darkened. “Heh. 'Girlfriend'. Yeah, that's...uh...” She was suddenly very inconvenienced by the existence of her own hands so she clasped them together tight to keep herself from fidgeting. “That is.....a word for Amity.”
Hunter frowned, puzzled. “Okaaaay? So, what's the issue?”
“Ohhhhhh, boy.” An ironic, long suffering smile stretched across her face. “Let me just tell you that there is a lot goin' on up here, pal.” Luz tapped her finger against her temple. “So if I'm gonna give you the full unabridged version--”
“You could summarize it.”
“You know I don't know how to do that.”
“Yeah, I know.” Hunter sighed. “Figured it was worth a shot. Okay, let's hear it.”
“Alright but this is gonna be a lot so I suggest you strap yourself in,”
Luz sucked in a deep inhale, with full intent to let the entire flood of thoughts cascade out her mouth.
Hunter's eyes snapped to the floor, like he was actually looking for a safety harness to attach himself to. Then he seemed to realize that was ridiculous, as he scowled to himself. Little Rascal chirped and he irritably mumbled something under his breath in response.
And then Luz took off.
“Alright, so!” She announced, clapping her hands together. “So me and Amity have known each other fooooor...a while now? Yeah, it's been a while. And we've been pretty good friends ever since and then one day, she rescued me from her scary mom and she had this black flowing cape and her voice went all low and then suddenly, huh. Doki doki, y'know?” She thumped a fist against her chest. “I was gettin' all feelings-y up in here,”.
“And then a little later I figured out that we were both feeling kinda feelings-y and I was all like,” She mimed a brain explosion. “Pshww....”
“Pshww....” Hunter repeated quietly, testing out the little sound effect on his tongue. “Doki...doki....?”
“Yeah. Exactly. Doki doki. Pshww.” Luz nodded, as if he had made a valuable contribution. “So, now we're both here in the same boat, fully shish kebab-ed by Cupid's arrow.”
“Hold up. What language are you speaking?”
“And things are....great? Nice? Sorta hard to believe but stuff actually happens. We hold hands a few times, we...” The volume of her voice dropped to a bashful murmur. “we kiss a few times. There was so many beautiful, amazing romance-y moments that happened, just like in movies, y'know?”
“Movies....?” Hunter's bewildered stare turned from Luz to the bird on his shoulder, as if he was going to get any further clarification from either of them.
“Right! But here's the thing. It sorta feels like all that stuff just went by in a blur. I don't even know how I did any of that. The hand holding, the smooches the....ugh! It was like I was on autopilot or something and now I have no idea how to operate. Now, no matter how hard I try to get the vibe right, I can recreate those moments. So now it's starting to feel like...I don't know how to do anything!”
Luz's arms were whizzing around like an out of control windmill.
“I mean, Sure, Amity takes the lead sometimes but I can't make her carry this entire....relationship? Flirtationship? Whatever it is that's happening here! I gotta act or something! But I've been thinking about it waaaay too much. I never know the right time to hold her hand, I never know if she wants me to tell her she looks cute or if now maybe isn't the right time or...it's awkward, okay?! I've been making it awkward 'cause I don't know what to do! I-I don't even know for sure if we're dating! We've never talked about it!”
The last sentence came out as a squeak and Luz realized she had used up all her oxygen and needed to take a breather.
Hunter had not said a word but Luz did not know what to make of that dissecting stare of his, that studied her with a mixture of confusion and fascination. Like she was some kind of peculiar animal. A flushed, panting, peculiar animal.
“So.” He said finally, holding his palm out for Little Rascal to migrate from his shoulder to his hands. “Why don't you talk about it?”
He asked like it was the obvious solution. Luz was a little irked by it, but she kept her patience.
“Oh, Hunter. Sweet Hunter.” She heaved an exhausted sigh. “It is not that simple.”
He still didn't seem to understand. “Well, why not?”
“'Cause it's--.....Uh.” Luz trailed off, twirling her wrist around as if expecting to snatch an eloquent articulation out of thin air.
“Okay. Lemme put it like this. Amity is....really special. To me. Sometimes I still can't believe that she's real and she's friends with me and she likes me and....whew.” She pressed her fingertips to her cheek, surprised by the warmth. Even thinking that sort of stuff prompted a blush or two but it seemed saying it out loud made her face scalding.
“Anyway, now that we're going through....this, everything feels so much more....fragile?” Her voice rose in pitch, uncertain if 'Fragile' was even a suitable word to describe her feelings. It was just a vague, wishy-washy concept to describe.
“Like I feel like I could break it all so easy, just by....” Wait, she knew. She had figured out her handle on this.
“Just by being me.” She felt an ache just by admitting it, but it was the truth. Luz exhaled unsteadily to compose herself, clasping her fists tight into the fabric of her shorts and she continued...calmly.
“I can't risk doing anything that's gonna push her or make her uncomfortable or scare her away or...y'know, ruin this.” She held up her palms with a heavy shrug. “I-I don't have a plan and it would be way too reckless to wing it. Who knows what would come out of my mouth? She tells me a billion times that my weirdness is what she likes about me but...it can just as easily be the thing she hates if I overdo. I can't overdo it.
Luz was expecting Hunter to look at her like she was dumb again, but surprisingly, he nodded. A slow, thoughtful nod, as he absentmindedly scratched Little Rascal under the chin.
As the silence filled a little longer, she was starting to believe he had nothing else to add, which was fine. She had wanted to rant her heart out but realistically, she couldn't imagine Hunter having any advice for her. This wasn't exactly his area of expertise.
“Hey, Luz.” He said at last, voice surprisingly breezy. “You know those books that you really like? Uhh, with the nice witch Azuzu or whatever,”
“It's the Good Witch Azura!” Luz snapped, hands flying to her hips. “And I know you just pretended to not know her name. You're just trying to be cool.”
“Yeah, yeah.” The corner of Hunter's lip tweaked upwards. “And wasn't there that other witch that you liked to pretend was Azura's girlfriend?
Luz scoffed, finding it utterly unbelievable that this obnoxious little man had the audacity to be so dismissive towards her favorite book series, when she had been sweet enough to smuggle him in here.
“She was not her 'Girlfriend', she was her 'Soulmate' and if you even listened to me talk about it, you would know that. For your information, her name was Hecate and she began as Azura's rival but over the course of the series, they developed a beautiful, unbreakable bond that was jam packed with heavy romantic subtext. I mean, even their declaration of their eternal friendship in Book Five, which was really emotionally poignant by the way, reads so much like a love confession, it's a crime. And it's like...Ladies! Just kiss already!”
“Okay. Right. Sure. I understood some of that.”
“I mean, I guess I've read a ton of Heczura fanfics to tide me over. It's hard to find a fic where they don't kiss. Hold on, you know what fanfiction is, right?”
“Yeah.” The light in Hunter's eyes dimmed. “You made me sit through that three hour long slideshow presentation, remember?”
“Oh, right,” Luz popped a finger gun. “That was fun,”
It was fun, but a lot of work. Hunter was pouting over losing a measly three hours of his time. Well, newsflash, nerd, Luz spent two weeks working on that. Nobody is getting their hours back.
“And what usually happens in those fanfictions?” Asked Hunter, propping his chin up with his hand, as Little Rascal hopped over to a pile of books. “How do they end?”
“I told you, they kiss. A lot of the time they look deeply into each others eye and talk about how they complete each other like two halves of one heart. And y'know, moments of miscellaneous fluff.”
“Uh huh. Interesting,” He mused, tapping his pen against his bottom lip.
Luz knew Hunter could be a little...eccentric but was he really analyzing fanfiction right now? Where did the sudden interest come from?”
“So, uh, besides Azura and Hecate, are there any other...boats(?) that you--”
“Ships.” Luz corrected him.
Hunter snapped his fingers. “Right. Ships. Basically love stories that you really like.”
“We talkin' canon or non canon?”
Hunter squinted at her, lost. Seems somebody was not taking enough notes during the slideshow presentation. “Both? A-all...?”
“Oh, well, there's a bunch.”
Luz had no intention of listing every single ship that had captured her heart. They would be here all week.
“I've spent my whole life reading books, watching movies and anime and--”
“Anime...?”
“Hunter, please!” Luz squeaked as calmly as she possibly could, but she could not deny that she had started to vibrate. “You have no idea how excited you just made me at the thought of teaching you about anime but I'd need to dedicate a whole day to that 'cause I need to meet Amity soon and I'm still sorta in crisis mode. So, let's stay on topic.”
Her brow furrowed. “Whatever the heck the topic is! Why are we talking about ships, Huntifer?”
He waved off her question. “Okay but how does the story usually end for all your ships? The book ones, the anime ones, all of them,”
“We've been over this with the fanfiction discussion. They kiss, Hunter. Geez, you want a diagram or something?”
“But what else?” He prompted.
“What do you mean 'What else?'”
Now this was just getting ridiculous.
“They kiss!” Luz said with a huge amount of emphasis. “And again, miscellaneous fluff. They'll do stuff like pick each other up and swing around, hold hands and....walk off into the sunset, y'know?” She waved off all that extra padding as unimportant to the conversation. (Though Luz did really enjoy miscellaneous fluff.)
“Well yeaaaah,” Hunter was giving off vibes of a grade school teacher who gave her little nudges in the correct direction but ultimately wanted her to figure out the right answer herself. She wished he could just give it to her because honestly, she didn't know where this any of this was going.
“But when exactly do they ask each other if they're dating?”
“Whaa?” Well, that settled it. He had paid no attention to the slideshow whatsoever. “Nah, nah, they don't do stuff like that. They don't have to 'cause they're already perfect for each other. All they gotta do is look into each others' eyes and they just...” Luz shrugged, feeling lightness bubble in her chest at the very thought. She had a feeling her smile looked pretty dopey. “They just know.”
“Right. And why don't you and Amity just know?”
The bubbles burst and the lightness turned to dead weight.
The question speared through Luz's gut. Her entire body went rigid.
She had known but...
She had been trying not to...
Not to think about it.
Because if she thought about it, she knew she'd cry.
But there is was. A culmination of every coil of underlying dread that had been gradually writhing in her stomach in a monster of anxiety, summarized in a short and sweet collection of simplistic little words.
Luz did not just know when it came to Amity. She was constantly taking shots in the dark. That is, if she was even brave enough to take a shot at all.
The two of them together were not as seamlessly synchronized as couples in love were supposed to be.
Her throat stung.
Her vision went cloudy with blotted tears but she managed to catch Hunter's stony expression break into one of sheer panic.
“Wh-- Luz! Hey!” He yelped, scrambling to pick himself up from the floor. He nearly tripped over his books as he stood and hurried over to close the distance between them. He made to reach out to her but his hand stopped, just as it was about to brush against her shoulder. It hovered there for a moment, fingers curling and uncurling with uncertainty.
“Luz, listen, I wasn't....I-I mean, what I meant was...uhh. C-c'mon, cut it out!” Hunter's voice crackled with desperation and despite crying her eyes out, Luz felt the watery chuckle at the back of her throat.
“Aww, does crying make the Golden Guard uncomfy?” She tried to tease but her words came out all wobbly.
In fairness to the poor guy, it probably did. Luz couldn't imagine that dealing with tears in a delicate matter, was ever something he would need to handle in his line of work.
For all she knew, this was his first time having to comfort someone like this.
“You don't get to make jokes and cry at the same time. You gotta pick one.” Hunter snipped, but his tone was not nearly as cutting as usual. Luz was almost tempted to call it soft.
Clearing her eyes with the heel of her hands, she finally felt that warm touch on her shoulder, and then another rest against her upper arm.
Somehow the gentleness cracked all her remaining composure and she dissolved into ragged sobs.
Hunter did not speak nor did he let go out her until she got every tear out of her system. He waited patiently, tracing circles with his thumb into her skin.
Eventually, her sniffles fell silent and her eyes no longer blurred. She took a deep breath and the following exhale was shaky but manageable.
“Are you....good?” He asked cautiously.
Luz nodded.
Hunter removed his hands so carefully, you'd think doing so would cause her physical pain. He must have heard once that people were more prone to being hurt when they were already upset and assumed it was literal.
“Do you really think that...Amity and I....” Luz's voice was low and quiet but her jaw was set tight. She refused to let her words be whimpered. She looked up, meeting Hunter's eyes. “Aren't right for each other?”
“What? No! No, no, no,” Hunter looked positively alarmed at the accusation. “Luz th-that's not even remotely what I meant by that.”
“Well, then I guess you accidentally hit the nail on the head.” Luz managed a strained, bitter little smile. “'Cause it's true.”
“Luz, c'mon,” Hunter groaned, exasperated. “Don't talk like that, you've got it mixed up.”
“No.” Said Luz, tone quiet, polite yet strikingly obstinate. “You were right, Hunter.”
For someone who loved being right, he didn't seem thrilled at all.
“When it comes to Amity, I don't just know. I don't always know what she's thinking or what she wants from me. After all this time, I-I shouldn't still be trying to figure her out,”
Luz wanted to figure her out. Every time she was in her orbit, she wanted nothing more to turn over every last piece of that girl and find every hidden gem.
But now, it like she was barricaded. Something was keeping her from moving forward, from discovering Amity.
“I mean, we've kissed.” The memories of Amity were turning more and more bittersweet by the second “I told her I loved her! We had our happy ending already! A-at least I thought it was a happy ending. But we're not acting like people who are made for each other are meant to act!”
“How do you even know how people who are meant for each other are meant to act?!” Hunter demanded, as though it wouldn't reach Luz's skull unless he raised his voice. “In all the love stories you've read, it always ends with a kiss, doesn't it?”
“And--”
“And miscellaneous fluff. Yeah, I get it.” Hunter shooed the detail away before clearing his throat.
“Point is, they never talk about what comes after. You don't read about all those awkward talks where they decide if they're dating or not and talks about what they're okay with and what they're not. It always just cuts to the perfect, shiny romantic stuff, all tied up with a bow and because of that,” He clutched Luz by the shoulders.”You don't know how to move forward in a relationship 'cause you've never had a frame of reference to help you along.”
“Hey, that's not true!” She tore away from Hunter's grip. “I'll have you know that I imagine my favorite ships as couples all the time,”
“Yeah and lemme guess,” He droned, setting a hand on his hip and launching into a mockingly saccharine tone of voice. “They understand each other soooo well all the time, they can practically read each others' mind and everything is smooth sailing and peachy all the time.”
“Yeah, duh.” Luz didn't quite what he was making fun of. “That's what being a ship is all about.”
“Okay, fine, maybe, but I cannot stress this enough,” He ran his fingers through his hair before making a cutting gesture with the side of his hand, directed at Luz. “You are not a ship.”
“Well, yeah, obviously. I'm only one--”
“I mean that the two of you aren't a ship! Listen to me, you're not Azura and Hecate. You're Luz and Amity. You're real people. You've got like a million different emotions and they're messy and crazy and you don't understand most of them.”
“Okay, Hunter, I get it, I'm a hot mess. You don't have to rub it in.”
“We're all hot messes, Luz!” He exploded. “Every single one of us. 'Cause we're real and not book characters.” He was pacing back and forth now as he ranted and raved, gesticulating like a madman.
“We gotta handle all the awkward conversations that don't fit into books. You gotta talk to real people to get them and you can talk to them for years and years but you're never gonna entirely understand them. In your love stories, it's all kisses and happy endings and it's shiny and sparkly and perfect and nerds like you Eat. It.Up!”
Hunter emphasized his point by poking Luz's forehead, shocking a startled laugh out of her. As wound up as he was, the noise surprised him too.
Her laugh was contagious and soon the room was silent, expect for the sound of quiet, breathy giggles.
One of the knots in Luz's stomach had untangled itself. Hunter did make a point that she could understand. Yeah, okay, maybe she had been a little too wrapped up in fiction to successfully navigate through her own life. Luz had never been the most logical person so it was comforting for a levelheaded counter-argument to whatever was currently inflaming her anxiety.
Obviously, this didn't fix everything. Now, she understood why this wasn't easy but that didn't mean she magically knew where to go from here.
Once the shadow of Luz's smile had finally faded away, she looked up and studied Hunter for a long while. Her gaze may have been a bit intense as nervousness began to creep into his features.
“H-hey. Uh. Sorry if I was a little too--”
“Huntifer, I think you might be on to something with this one,”
He blinked at her before brightening with relief, shrugging it off. “Oh. Yeah, maybe. I dunno, I guess it's worth some thought.
Astonishing how Hunter could switch from the cockiest, most obnoxious kid in the Boiling Isles to a remarkably humble guy. Maybe it depended on context. Or he was just embarrassed that he sorta lost control of himself in his impatience.
Luz nodded. “I'd say a lot of thought. But..I think things are still gonna be awkward. With Amity. I still don't know how I'm supposed to talk this stuff through with her.”
Hunter snorted, loosely folding his arms over chest and resting his weight on one hip. And just like that, with that simple change of posture, he looked full of himself again “You wanna know a secret that's probably not much of a secret?”
He beckoned Luz to lean in closer and said in a stage whisper. “Amity probably doesn't know either.”
Huh. Yeah, Luz knew that. She knew that at the back of her mind but...she hadn't really thought about it much. She was a little too preoccupied with her own inexperience.
Hunter's lofty grin softened. “So, it's a good thing neither of you are doing it alone, right? Don't you think you could figure out how together?”
Figure out how together....
The realization sank from the surface of her mind, and everything was processing very fast then suddenly, everything clicked.
Amity.
Luz knew Amity. Luz trusted Amity. Luz loved Amity. If there was any person Luz believed would stumble alongside her through things they didn't quite understand yet, it was Amity. And it occurred to her that Luz would help Amity in return without hesitation.
With enough notches and trimming and smoothing edges, if they worked through this together, Luz and Amity could click too. Maybe not perfectly, not for a while just yet.
But enough that they could make each other happy.
A swing of confidence so strong flooded Luz's system, she swore she nearly collapsed. She felt the grin tugging at her mouth.
She could try. She could absolutely try. They could both try.
“Is...that a yes?” Hunter asked, gauging her expression.
Luz nodded so speedily, it made her head hurt. But then she realized something else and she turned a very specific look on Hunter.
But before he could ask if she was about to attack him, she held up two fingers on each hand and then placed them on either side of her head so they jutted out just behind her ears.
“Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,” Said Luz, in what she believed to be an uncanny imitation of Hunter's voice.
He frowned. “What are the theatrics for?”
“You lied to me!” Luz was delighted.
“I-I didn't lie!” He loudly objected, pointed ears scorching bright pink. “That was just common sense, you doofus. You know, that thing you lack.”
“You know, that thing you lack.” Luz parroted, swinging her hips from side to side. Once again, her impression remained flawless.
“Don't do that!”
“Don't do that!
“Stop, you weirdo!”
“Stop, you weirdo!”
At the peak of riled up, Hunter floundered for a retort that Luz wouldn't shoot back at him with childish mimicking. But then he cracked and wound up sticking his tongue out at her.
Luz simply mirrored him and Hunter huffed indignantly, turning on his heel and stomping back towards his books.
He had barely made a few steps when Luz lunged at him from behind, draping her long, lanky arms around his shoulders.
“Wha—Hey! Get off!” He squawked, struggling to pry her off him as Luz squished her cheek against his.
“Huntifer~” She singsonged. “Can you please calm down for two seconds and let me say thanks already?”
Hunter knotted his arms and his scowl didn't soften but Luz didn't miss how he stopped trying to squirm out of her grip.
“Even though you were kinda rambly and all over the place, what you said helped. It helped a lot. I know this is something I can handle and I know that 'cause of you. Thanks, nerd.”
She waited patiently until she felt his shoulders loosen. And then he glanced back at her and there was a smile. A small, tight, subtle smile but it was good enough for Luz.
And then with a burst of adrenaline, she gripped him tighter and planted a big, wet raspberry on his cheek.
Predictably, Hunter blew his top. He screeched furiously and his hands went wild to push her off but Luz was stronger than she looked. And so help her, she would give Hunter this affection or die trying.
Dying trying did not seem unlikely, actually. Hunter had told her once before that if he ever murdered her, it would probably be her own fault. Luz could not argue with that.
“That is so gross!” He griped, once Luz had finally released him.
“You're gross~” She chirped, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.
Hunter wiped the spit off his cheek with his palm before looking up at Luz with narrowed eyes
Luz did not have time to brace herself and suddenly she was tackled to the ground. She kicked and she screamed as Hunter dragged his disgusting wet hand across her face.
“GrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGroooooss!”
Hunter cackled maniacally the whole time.
They carried on like rowdy toddlers for a while until Luz had to go meet Amity, leaving Hunter and his palisman to themselves.
It was too weird to admit out loud but he was disappointed that she was gone. Hanging out with her like this wasn't that bad. Talking with her, arguing with her, wrestling with her. It all made Hunter feel....so much like a kid.
Something that he had realized recently was that he still liked being a kid.
In spite of the doom and gloom of white of gold, of the clawed scars in his shoulder, of the spear that grazed his hair, a spark of childishness remained in Hunter that had never been entirely snuffed out.
It wasn't until he met Luz that he began actively trying to keep that spark alive.
The sun had long since fallen asleep by the time Luz returned and the moon was pooling in the sky. A little after sun down, he heard the downstairs door slam shut and the loud exuberant voice of The Owl Lady boomed from the floorboards beneath him. By the sound of it, she was celebrating a successful day's work. Hunter wondered what she and the cute little demon had managed to steal today.
His snoozing palisman was tucked snug in the crook of his neck, a pleasant warmth against his skin. It was a good idea to keep the bird close. If someone other than Luz came barreling into the room, he'd better have his staff on hand to magically conceal himself.
But once an hour passed and the chatter of the witch and the demon below gradually faded into loud snoring, Hunter presumed they had passed out on the couch. For the time being, he should be fine.
Hunter hoped that creepy owl tube thing wouldn't rat them out. Fortunately, Luz had promised that Hooty was willing to take a bribe but unfortunately, gossip spread fast in the Boiling Isles. Now The Golden Guard had a reputation for being a lunatic who visited the night market several times, buying dead mice in bulk.
He snorted to himself, combing through 'From Bones to Fire: A Study of Wild Magic Volume 2'. Everything he went through just to get his hands on knowledge.
Well, also to be young with Luz.
Yet another hour passed and somehow, being surrounded by his own obsession, Hunter got a little overstimulated. To give his brain a rest, he was now flipping through some tattered old magazine that Luz brought with her from the human realm. Some of the articles were practically gibberish to him but overall, it was okay. He learned he was a Scorpio. He didn't know what that entailed but it sounded cool.
He nearly jumped out of his skin as Luz burst into the room, announcing her return.
Startled, his palisman flew into a fluster, cheeping like crazy before it settled down atop his head. Hunter, meanwhile, had flung the magazine away so fast, it was like it had contaminated him, and snatched up the closest book to pretend he was reading it the whole time.
Thankfully, Luz didn't notice.
“Hey there, Little Rascal,” She cooed, prancing across the room and plopping down next to Hunter. “And hey, you little bookworm, you.”
“Bookworm?” Hunter knocked his shoulder against hers. “You looking for a fight, kid?”
“Whaaaat? Hunter, you wound me, I was just....Ohhh, my bad. I always forget that our bookworms and your bookworms are two waaaay different things.” She paused thoughtfully before shaking her head. “Actually, I don't retract anything. You look like a bookworm.”
“Yeah, well, you smell like a selkidomus.” Hunter smirked.
“Hey!” Luz bumped their shoulders. “Can you blame me? I've had one heck of a day with lots of nervous sweating!”
He was surprised that got him laughing but that tended to happen around her.
“So, how'd it go?” Hunter asked, even though he already knew the answer.
Luz's beam was as bright as a dozen of her light spells. The corner of her lip was twitching, as if she wanted to smile wider but it was physically impossible.
“We're dating.” She stated, no more than a whisper.
It obvious since the moment she entered the room, far bouncier and bubblier than usual but Hunter still grinned.
He had expected her to scream it from the rooftops, to grind his ribcage into powder with the force of her hug, to set off a riot of firework glyphs, spelling it out in lights.
No matter how she could have chosen to tell him, he would have been just as giddy as she was.
And yet, despite the lack of fanfare, somehow, it still felt so much like Luz. Though he knew that in the morning, she would tell the entire Boiling Isles, right here, right now, only Hunter knew. Something about that felt nice.
But the quiet serene scene was momentarily ruptured when Hunter spotted Luz re-adjusting herself out of the corner of his eye and he was immediately on high alert. Another raspberry, he could sense it.
“Luz, don't you d--”
It wasn't a raspberry.
The feather-light peck against his cheek was gone before he fully processed it, as Luz drew away with that big stupid smile still plastered on her face.
Hunter blinked away the surprise, looking to her with a raised eyebrow.
“What's that look for? In this family, we give each other hugs and kisses~”
He felt his lip quirk upwards as he scoffed, turning away with a shake of his head.
“That was so gross.”
“You're gross.”
“For real, it was even more gross than the raspberry.”
Luz burst into giggles and Hunter could understand why everything was suddenly a million times funnier to her. She will still fizzling with that giddiness that Amity had kissed into her and now it was all spilling out.
To be honest, listening to a teenage girl gush and squeal about her girlfriend did not seem like something Hunter would ever willingly subject himself to.
But this was Luz. His friend, Luz.
He lightly pinched the pudge of her cheek. “Heeeey. You wanna tell me all about it, don't you?”
Luz snapped her head over to gawk at him, astonished. And then the excitement took hold and her hands started flapping and she looked about ready to explode with delight. Her mouth was already flying open to give every solitary detail of her evening with Amity Blight.
But then she stopped, a crease forming on her brow. He caught that unreadable look she gave him and the way her eyes skimmed over the books that scattered the floor around them.
“Hmmm.” She stroked her chin with an over dramatic 'thinking' face. “Y'know what? I'll think I'll keep it all to myself.”
“Oh, really~?” Grinned Hunter. “I can only imagine all the romantic schmaltzy sickening stuff that occurred tonight. Miscellaneous fluff, right?”
Judging by the blood that stained her cheekbones, he must have been correct.
“Hey, Hunter.” She said quietly, resting her weight against his side. “You've been lost in your books for hours now. Would you mind telling me all about the most interesting you read about today? Reading myself is fine but it's way better to hear all about it from a bona fide nerd.”
Frankly, it was embarrassing how fast the giddiness practically electrocuted him and suddenly he found himself rambling. He rambled until his voice gave up but it didn't bother him at all because it was just Luz.
Luz hung on every word he said.
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masterhandss · 3 years
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Who do you think katarina will end up with?
Anonymous asked: Who do you ship katarina the most with ?
I got these two questions consecutively, I'm assuming they are coming from the same person so I'll combine them to a single reply, if that's okay.
People who have been following me since the first season can probably tell that I really like Geordo x Katarina (GeoKata) the most out of all ships. At first it was mostly just because I have an unintentional biases towards characters with blonde hair, which is why favorites were GeoKata and MariaKata, but then when I slowly got into the series more, my biases permanently shifted to the G-boy.
I'm not really a fan of laying out why I like certain ships through test to be honest. I usually get super frustrated when zine mods ask contributors to explain why they like a character or ship for contributor spotlight graphics because I can never really say everything I feel correctly hgdsjsdgfj, which is a good thing someone had already asked me a similar question before so I'll just copy paste my response here if that's okay :DD
TLDR; I ship Katarina with Geordo (Maria, Sora and Cezar behind him), and I think Katarina will end up with Geordo :))
You didn't really ask why but I'll give it anyways :)) -> major light novel spoilers, by the way <-
I'm not really the most deep person, if a ship has the bare minimum of something that I like (a trope or a hair color combination) then I stan it hard. That's why I used to be so equally adoring to both Maria and Geordo, because hurrdurr blonde hair hurrdurr. But the more I read the books and got into the community, I eventually liked him more than Maria. I didn't understand how or why at first, since Geordo and Maria are undergoing a very similar character arc: both characters wants to become better people in order to become worthy of Katarina (Geordo emotionally, and Maria physically? magically? in terms of her position/social status? I can't think of a right word but you get it). Again, Maria and Geordo's struggles are similarly written but one of them is more compelling to me. I feel like Maria's problems are easier to solve (her inability to rely on people, her attention seeking and her desire to be more magically powerful) imo, since she's already a well-liked figure in the Ministry and she's already a high-level magic user. Geordo's though; the series doesn't put too much attention on it, but despite the fact that Katarina gave his life color, he still somewhat sees the world in a desaturated light even post-childhood according to the novels and his lack of empathy still prevents him from completely absorbing all the colors. He's still learning how to see and he is happy that Katarina is always there to help him learn how.
I just love the irony that Katarina sees Geordo as a Perfect Prince and feels that she is inferior and unworthy of him, but then Geordo also seems himself as flawed, inferior and unworthy of Katarina and sees her as someone perfect. Geordo constantly wants to be better for Katarina (and for the people around him), and in time, maybe he could become a motivation for Katarina to be better too (on Katarina's side though, because on Geordo's she doesn't have to because she's already perfect the way she is). Geordo, while being self-centered and aggressive in his pursuits, isn't always selfish and thinks about what Katarina wants too. He'd fight tooth and nail for her and will do whatever he can so that Katarina will love him in the same way, but that doesn't mean he wont respect her decision if she falls in love with someone else, he just wont lose without a fight that's all (and fight, he'll give that's for sure).
Geordo is crazy in love with her; wants to protect her happiness, keep her safe whenever he can, and is even willing to both fight to become king and throw away the life he currently knows if it means he can live a life where he and Katarina can be together wherever she is most content and happy. He wouldn't lock her up in the castle like a caged bird like what Keith and some fans of the series thinks, whenever he does have thoughts like that like in Volume 6, its his internal response to the lack time they can have together alone, rather than being indicative of how he wants to treat her (like in his desire in Book of Desires, he conjured up a literal honeymoon because a honeymoon is the only time where he can spend it with her alone without someone butting in! It's weird and exaggerated, but his desire is simply to just be able to spend a day with her and be able to pursue her romantically without the threat of people like Keith and Mary).
Katarina sees him for himself, and she extends her hand of friendship to him despite all her fears of her bad ends involving him. She knows he's a "sadistic prince" but doesn't always tie him to that title. Out of everyone, Katarina has just as bad, if not worse, initial impression of Geordo compared to almost everyone around him (Others sees him as a Perfect Prince while she sees him as a Sadistic Prince and Future Murderer), and yet she accepts him and wants to learn more about him. She supports him and wants him to find happiness in love with Maria, even if it means she'll get exiled to another country or to a far off farm! (i'll edit this with citations later)
I can't help but want that for him, someone who there for you through thick and thin, who supports him despite everything she knows about her future involving him. Katarina is everything he would ever want in a partner: someone who isn't disturbed by his past, can see through his fake smiles, constantly cares for him, sees him beyond his princely façade, is one of his first friends who has helped him create friendships with other as well that prevented him to wallow in isolation and hate of the version of himself that society created for him, is genuinely interested in him as a person, is endlessly fun to be around and unpredictable, and is overall beautiful inside and out.
Again, a lot of Maria and Geordo's struggles are very similar to each other, but I'm more interested in Geordo's side. I find it more compelling. Geordo's scenes always almost provides something new, we get to see him angry, flustered & embarrassed, scheming/conniving, possessive, grateful, sad & frustrated and so much more. Maria has that too (we get to see her sad and thankful), but this might be my own perspective of reading the novels, but Maria's scenes kinda feel the same to me. It almost always starts with Katarina helping her and her realizing time and time again how much she loves her and become more motivated to be a better version of herself. I mean its unfair to say that they are all the same but that might just be me. (Maria: wow I'm so grateful for everything Katarina has given me, I want to be with her forever (rinse and repeat for the next 5 books))
Yes I know it's beautiful to see Maria falling deeper and deeper in love with Maria, but I'd rather see moments of someone who is trying to advance on those feelings rather than someone who is still trying to understand what they feel. Declarations and descriptions of love are beautiful in literary works and it always gets my heart fluttering, but I can read fanfics if I want to see that be written in 8 or more ways. Give me some action, some internal conflict!
It also doesn't help that it makes me really really happy for Geordo that he's made a dent in Katarina's baka shield? Katarina's heart skipped and fluttered for a second when Geordo was patting her head, and it makes me want to root for him even more! (Yes, go break the bubble! You can do it!!)
It's not even the same doki-doki as when she gets charmed at how pretty Maria is, to me its different in a way that my small vocabulary can't explain.
And besides, it really is just a battle between the protagonist that almost ruined her life (Maria) and the love interest that almost ruined her life (Geordo). Keith is part of that equation too, but he was never a threat after they became close (narratively, its seriously just Maria vs Geordo vs Keith, ignoring the changes to that narrative by FL2). It's always about Geordo (and Maria), everything she's doing in the Fortune Lover 1 Arc is because of Geordo (and arguably, Maria & Keith too) and the consequences of where he decides her future to would lead to.
It has to be Geordo, in my opinion, to show her that things aren't the same as the game (and he already kinda has, just a dent though) (If not Geordo, it should be Maria). He, who she feared and yet cared for so much
(I know Fortune Lover 2 basically removes that importance of Geordo and Maria specifically to Katarina's narrative by making her an active problem in all routes, finally becoming loyal to the title "All Routes Lead to Doom", but its not like the story is digging into Katarina's brain that she's sword training for the purpose of fighting back against all the boys, its still just Geordo, so idk I still count that in my shipper brain)
It also also helps that Geordo is basically the poor bullied animal in the hamefura community's eyes, regardless of how far he is into the battle (like in the reddit discord lmao). Yeah he has the best chances which is why many people both in and out of the series find it so fun to drag him under because of his unfair advantage, which is fair, but just like how you feel when you see a small wounded animal, you can't help but want to help someone who has the whole world against him (there's literally a canon manga page with that joke lmao), which is how I eventually felt over time. He's so misunderstood and bullied by people despite the authors dedication to flesh him out more beyond being a possessive prince fiancé of Katarina because of the anime's adaption, so I'd rather give my biases to someone who needs (and deserves it) rather than other contenders who are already overflowing with love and support. Also who doesn't love a perfect guy who breaks when his beloved is harm/who opens up to the person he cares about most?
I know people will read this and find it unfair that Katarina is giving so much to Geordo, but he isn't really giving anything to her. One thing I'll agree that Maria has over Geordo is that Maria makes Katarina want to try and work hard. Seeing Maria improve her magic wants Katarina to do the same, and whether or not it's from motivation or fear of getting left out depends on the reader. So far we don't really have anything like that for Katarina with Geordo because most things involving Geordo intimidates her, compared to Maria who is surrounded by mysteries and adventure (though arguably it's Katarina and not her lmao, but Kat doesn't know that).
Katarina is already the most well-adjusted character in the story even as a child so the only thing to really explore from her is mostly just her relationships and skewed sense of reality. That's why I hope that Geordo will not only help her realize that she can be loved by her peers romantically despite her self-perceived position/role, but also be one of the persons to make her completely realize that she isn't living inside a game. I mean like I said a few paragraphs ago, he's already kinda doing it by constantly confessing his feelings to her, reminding her that he is a person with his own feelings and not a character programmed to fall for a heroine.
So yeah, I ship Katarina with Geordo for those reasons and believe they should end up together for those reasons.
If you ask me who I think would she end up with objectively, I'd still say Geordo. The author's focus jumps between Geordo and Maria so that really depends on who you're asking. It also doesn't help that Geordo is always in the marketing with Katarina in the books and games, which pretty much cements his Male Lead status to Katarina's Female Lead status lmao
Thank you for the ask lmao, I'll be updating this with more thoughts and possibly citations later :))
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