#i mean i know they're in different years and all. so it probably won't happen cause the age gap between first and third year of highschool
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Chill astro notes
🔶 People need to stop blaming one specific sign when they get cheated/hurt/etc.. in love, let's use Sag Venus for this example, a lot of people blame Sagittarius Venus for being "cheaters" but truly that doesn't mean anything, because first you need to do a synastry chart instead of reading your partners chart. Synastry chart is at least 85% on the fault why some things don't work in a relationship astrologically talking.... Not the signs from their actual birth charts
🔶 - I personally love the dynamic of Venus in the 3rd/5th/7th/11th houses, because it shows how much love they hold for their freinds and how to share it together, for some of natives this aspect can also mean that you can have friends to lovers kind of thing or your lover can be your best friend
🔶 - I have a friend with Mars in the 6th house and he literally can't stay still. He always needs to do something, i guess the natives are full of energy and don't want to take a break..
🔶 - Capricorn Placements can end up to be workaholic, it's good to work if that gives you satisfaction, but most times a break is really needed because you're human after all
🔶 - I honestly believe that Saturn with Pisces Degrees 12°, 24° have it hard when it comes to sleeping time, they can either have problems with sleep either with not sleeping enough
🔶 - The time when you'll have your Saturn return, which happens at least 2 times in a human life, it happens to be your most challenging/transformative years of your life because it will be the year where you'll need a lot of patience to go over the test of Saturn
🔶 - I always think about how life must have been in the 1960's cus' Uranus was in Leo at that time (precisely in 1962), it must have been something totally taken out of control
🔶 - Neptune aspecting Juno asteroid (3) can end up to dream about their soulmate or future spouse, if you don't dream then probably you'll receive some signs from the universe that you'll met someone
🔶 - Moon in the 6th/8th/10th/12th house > In case no one told you, I hope you have it good and without any stress or bad thought, you'll win all your battles
🔶 - People with Lilith - Sun aspects could have been judged a lot in the past, but you need to stay like yourself no matter what because you don't have to change based on others opinion.
🔶 - On the other hand. Lilith harshly aspecting Moon don't give a single f about others opinion, you can say whatever they want and they would not care at all. Because they live for themselves
🔶 - Taurus Sun/Moon/Rising are actually very posesive, some of them can be more than Scorpios. But one thing about them is that they know how to hide it good enough so people don't observe that
🔶 - Aquarians claim to not get jealous easy, but you can see it on their face when they're jealous or possesive, or CLINGY they have it easier with their face expressions
🔶 - Nobody loves nature more than Earth suns, earth is their own heaven and special place, now you'll probably say "well they have the earth element!" It's actually because their love and humanitarian side to love the earth this much, makes them into this
🔶 - Aquarius Placements especially Sun/Moon/Rising they are not weird as people say, the thing is nowadays... it's popular to be like some celebrities so people forgot to be their true selves, Aquarius is the sign of difference, don't let people tell you otherwise
🔶 - If your 6th house ruler is badly aspected you can have complications with your health. For example if your 6H house ruler is Saturn or Pluto you can get sick easier than others
🔶 - I want to believe that Pluto - Moon aspects can learn a lot of things from their mother. To learn for her mistakes so they won't do the same thing again and again, which is a very good thing because less families will have generational curses to break, I mean... go girl break that curse
🔶 - Natives with South Node - Jupiter aspects may want to know more about their past. Because Jupiter wants to expand this curiosity about their past lives
🔶 - I feel like 4th house natives really really really like to give hugs to comfort others, and its truly something very sweet because nowadays the world turned into a dark stage and people forgot what kindness means
🔶 - All people get hurt when they're betrayed but for natives with the Sun or Moon in the 11th house may take it too deep and they cannot accept that they were betrayed.
🔶 - Pisces Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus love/like to watch a lot dramas with love, or is just me who saw that? I know so many people with those placements who like to watch love dramas
🔶 - 9th house is so less talked about and honestly is a very underrated house because is the house of luck and blessings.. yet people don't talk enough about it
🔶 - Neptune in the 8H/9H houses can get obsessed with crystals, and tarot too..they mostly adore witch things just like Neptune in those houses act like a little witch
🔶 - If you have placements/planets at 1° in your birth chart, you can change things on your own, because is the power of the magician tarot card who gives this energy
🔶 - Sag Placements love to hang out quite often, they're always for "let's go in this place" mostly because they're very curious souls who want to gain experience and memories
🔶 - If you have Vertex - Juno (3) in good aspects probably you're fated to met a good person who can change your life into better, it's actually sweet
🔶 - Gemini Rising/Gemini Sun/Gemini in the 5th house can get praised for their hands/ these natives are having really good looking hands and people appreciate that
🔶 - It's something I still study about but does it happen for Sun in Capricorn natives to have things like birth marks on their skin? Because Capricorn can rule over skin too and most people with Cap Sun that I know have marks on their skin (like a birth mark)
Check this out:
It shows what body parts all these signs rule over
🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°
With all the love and light, yours truly ❤️🔶❤️
Harmoonix ❤️
#astrology#astro observations#birth chart#astro notes#astrology observations#placements#astro community#horoscope#ascendant#venus#astrology fyp#chill#chill aesthetic#fyp2023#tumblr fyp
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The Overlapped AU [Aka Superhumans disguisted as Dinner Theater workers]
The Owners
The Managers (Engineer & the HR person)
The Waiters
The Security
The Performers (Wes is mostly on cleaning duty though)
The Kitchen staff (the others are usually tasked to help, though very few are actually trusted at all times to be there)
The Bartender and the Host
The Dishwashers
The Clerk & The Supplier
So this AU came to me upon a dream, and I just had to make it real...
The synopsis below:
The event of April 17th 1906 does happen, however instead of Charlie and Maxwell being kidnapped into the Constant, the Constant overlaps with the real world and spreads itself onto Earth.
Charlie and Maxwell in the process become corrupted and have to hide away temporarily. Both of them soon began to hear strange voices, source of which neither is quite sure, telling them, compelling them to hide the corruption's effect from the publicity, for the time being.
They come to a mutual realization they have to fix this mess somehow and hunt down any and all corrupted by the tome, by any means necessary.
(Maxwell still has codex umbra, but it is sealed shut for the time being until he's sure it won't spread more if Their influence. )
But the corruption didn't just appear out of nowhere, it's been leaking way long before Maxwell found the Codex, if to a less prominent extent.
Thus, in few years passing, they form a Dinner Theater, a rather inconspicuous establishment from the first glance. Very quickly they began "hiring" employees, which in reality means tracking down and blackmailing those who have been corrupted but not fully lost themselves to its effects, in order to hunt those who had.
Winona was against the idea at first, as she found out. But seeing the effects of corruption first hand, she quickly had a change of heart and integrated herself into Charlie's new environment.
Eventually they gathered a rather generous amount of people. Once a person's proven to be trustworthy to a point, they're give higher positions in the company.
However those who aren't, are likely to be shunned or "fired" which...you could probably guess what that means.
Many of these people gradually come to terms with the reality of their situation and accept their newfound purpose, being thankful that at least they still have a roof over their head and a warm meal, instead of being viewed as monsters or outcasts to the greater society.
(Wilson though, can't quite accept this notion. He keeps claiming that "this is just a big misunderstanding, I'm just a normal guy!" Yet the truth could be far from it.)
When Maxwell and Charlie hear of the danger looming, they immediately inform their "staff" of the matter. Those who are more experienced in combat come along to face whatever opponent may cross them, while those who aren't, stay behind, to be an additional aid or a medic in case the battle gets too intense.
Whenever any suspicion arises in the town about the shady business going on in that particular building, the two owners alongside their employees practically gaslight anyone and everyone into believing they're but the most regular entertainment center.
The characters who have either willingly or unwillingly lost their humanity, mostly in the physical sense, are given special devices constructed of Thulecite and bits of nightmare fuel (made by Winona, Wicker and the main two), which effectively hide away their true identity, or surpress the effects of their ailment.
There's also a few other people important to this story, especially the One, which even Charlie and Maxwell refer to as "The Boss", though what many most recent hires don't know, is that there's someone who's in a position much higher than the owners themselves, controlling their every move.
Correlating to that, another person, or rather, a set of people per se, working for a much different cause. Though most of them are "people" in only a visual sense of the word.
And while, there might be someone inside the well-known around town diner, who just might be more than what appears on the surface, literally and metaphorically this time.
__________
If you're interested to learn more about this AU, do let me know. If you have any questions, I'm happy to hear and answer them!
#dst#don't starve#don't starve together#dst au#dst charlie#dst maxwell#dst wilson#dst willow#dst winona#dst wickerbottom#dst wolfgang#dst woodie#dst wes#dst wigfrid#dst wx78#dst woodrow#dst wormwood#dst wendy#dst webber#dst wurt#dst wortox#dst wanda#dst walter#dst warly#dst abigail#the overlapped au
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"Alastor is just using Rosie" NUH UH whips out the list
1. He is capable of making friends, as seen with Mimzy. So it's not that hard to believe that he can have another friend if one (cough cough MIMZY cough) just comes around when she needs something. Mimzy doesn't even benefit him in anyway, yet he doesn't cut her off, which shows he can make friends.
2. Aside from the cannibals in ep7, what else could he get from her? I mean she does recommend him deals sometimes, but anyone can do that. If his true goal was control over the cannibals then their bond would feel a lot more shallow, like ep1-ep5ish with Charlie.
3. If Alastor was using Rosie for deal recommendations (since she gives him "prime pickings for a deal to be made"), then why not just do so with a mutalistic relationship instead of having to form that bond?
4. He bleat like a fawn. If he was acting, he wouldn't let himself lose composure for an act.
5. They both kinda get close to eachother in a way they don't with anyone else. SHE PICKS HIM UP AND SPINS HIM AROUND AND HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Sure, he hugged Mimzy, but if she ever did that? She would most likely be dead.
6. If anyone else openly/jokingly insulted Alastor, he would go all scary demon ahhhhhhhh. But Rosie? Perfectly fine.
7. The way he talks to Rosie is different to the way he talks to Charlie. With Charlie he's a little bitch sometimes (oh Charlie you look an absolute mess!) and he kinda takes every chance he can to be a little bitch while still being nice and showing he's important.
8. Rosie knows things about Alastor that he hasn't even figured out (I know your an ace in the hole!), and for Rosie to know these things, that would require Alastor to open up about himself, which he doesn't like doing because "must be mysterious radio deer man." Even to Charlie, who he does have a bond with, SHE STILL JUST THINKS OF HIM AS "MYSTERIOUS RADIO DEER MAN"
9. Hating someone together is one of the easiest ways to start a friendship, especially in hell, where people hating each other is really common (Susan? Susan)
10. If he truly was manipulating all of his friends, he's a sinner, he still has a humanish mind. Humans crave bonds with other people as part of their instincts. And you could just get fake ones, but if you're the manipulator in that situation you'll know it's all fake and it won't leave you fufilled. Which is why having one or two genuine friends (Rosie/Mimzy) would have to be a requirement.
11. He has manipulated other Overlords in the past, like Vox. But with Vox, they would realistically never get along. Same with Vaggie, Angel Dust, etc, he just wouldn't be able to form a true bond with/a very strong both with those people. So yes, he's manipulating/has manipulated them. Rosie on the other hand? They're both cannibals from similar time periods, with similar interests, and they hate the same people.
12. Rosie is smart. She easily reads Charlie, a stranger, like a book. And if she's known Alastor for years (which she most likely has), she knows how to read him past that stupid permanent smile. So even if he was manipulating her, she would know.
13. He HATES Susan, and Vox, and probably some other people I can't think of off the top of my head. He can't stand them. So if he hated Rosie? He wouldn't be able to fake a bond like the one they have.
14. His pupils dilate around Rosie, which is a sign that you like/love whatever it is that you are looking at
Look at these
COMPARED TO THESE
AND IT ONLY HAPPENS WHEN IT'S JUST THEM TWO
15. Rosie agrees with him when he says that Charlie is "filled with potential that I could guide," so she knows that he's using her for that kinda stuff. With that moment it shows that she understands that Alastor is helping Charlie with her dream in exchange. I swear I had more thoughts on this one but then I got distracted with finding screenshots for 14-
Bonus reason that's more silly then reason: THAT DANCE IN READY FOR THIS IS TOO COORDINATED THEY HAD TO HAVE PRACTICED IT
#i had to hold myself back from going full autism mode#because if i didn't this post would just be a giant wall of capital letters#anyway tag time#hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin#rosie hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel rosie#hazbin rosie#rosie hazbin#alastor and rosie#platonic radiorose#qpr radiorose#radiorose#rosie and alastor#idk what else to tag
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Remember My Name (Short story inspired by Saintobio)
Hello! This is a little thing I wrote inspired by @saintobio's work. This is directly inspired by they're sincerely yours and sincerely not .
To read and understand this, you must be caught up with sincerely not 's latest chapter (Chapter 8). I would consider this an AU, as I don't know what will happen in the next story. @saintobio 's is heart wrenching, so I had to write my own mini happy ending. Once they update, this whole thing probably won't make much sense lol.
I have received permission from @saintobio to post this
Again, this is directly inspired by @saintobio's work: Sincerely Yours and Sincerely Not.
Word count: 11.8 k
trigger warning: mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, mentions of cheating, curse words used, angst
_____________________________________________________________
It had been a year since the coparenting arrangement.
Via emails and business calls, you would arrange weekly pick up times. It was strictly professional. The way you wanted it. Right?
Wrong
You knew that you were being selfish. Maybe you always were. Everyone was right. Sera, Eula, Getou, Satoru’s mom, and Satoru. You were a black hole. You pulled people into your problems and destroyed them. You spent so much of your life fighting to be half the woman your mom was. And you could never be. You knew this now
“Mama!”
Bending down, you opened your arms. Hugging him tightly, you thanked the chauffeur for picking him up from school.
“Hi baby! How’s my little star?”
“Good! School finished early?” It was a statement, but you knew he was asking. Why did you take him out of school early? You really didn’t know. This whole day had felt strange. The air felt heavier. Your fingers felt numb. Something was going to happen and you didn’t want to be alone for it.
“What? My star prefers to be with teachers than with me? You’re making mommy sad!” You playfully nuzzled your head against his cheek and dramatically pouted.
“I’ll never let you go to school again! Ha HA HA” You laughed evilly as you stood up and spun him
“Nooo!” He screamed between laughing.
After a good second of smiles and laughter, you finally set him down.
“Baby, I took you out of school because I wanted to spend time with you. Mommy is being selfish, so I won’t do this again. School is very important, ok?”
“Hmm… but mommy isn’t selfish. She’s a good mommy!”
You almost burst out in tears. He was too young to see how awful you were. His innocence and love for you blinded him. He would someday see you for the monster you are.
Allowing silence to fill the room, you stared into his eyes. God, those eyes. Your whole world could be found in them. Ruffling his hair, you grabbed the nearby scarf and wrapped it around him. Like any kid he grumbled at the added layers.
“Let’s go get ice cream and have fun today. Ok, baby?”
“Ice Cream! I love ice cream! My friend always, they always like laugh at me but not like mean laughing. But they say it’s so weird to eat ice cream when its winter. They think it’s funny. I think it’s funny too! Is snow different from ice cream? Because there’s like all this ice cream on the floor because it’s all snow. I just grab some sometimes and it doesn’t taste the same!”
As he got older, he has gotten a lot more talkative. He spoke incoherently and in run on sentences, but you understood him, nonetheless. You listened attentively when he would spend 30 minutes telling you about a funny thing his friend said. You listened when he would explain his entire school day the entire dinner. You listened the whole time.
“Yes baby, ice cream is yummy! I’m glad you and your friends laugh a lot. And no baby, snow is not the same as ice cream. Snow is made from the water on the earther getting colder, becoming clouds, and falling down. Remember I was teaching you about the water cycle? Ice cream is made from milk!”
At the mention of the water cycle, Sachiro excitedly launched into another spiel. He talked about the cycle, reexplaining it to you. He talked about how his teacher says he’s smart and how he got a toy. He talked about how his friends always ask him for help. He talked all the way to the ice cream parlor. As soon as you two ordered your ice cream, you settled down. Listening to him talk about his dreams. You always set your phone on Do Not Disturb whenever you are with him. He loved attention. If for one second you were to look away, he would immediately deflate. He was a carbon copy of his father. Sometimes you contemplated getting rid of your phone for this reason.
You spent the rest of the day chasing him through the park: pretending to be a dragon he fought, teaching him how to do cartwheels, looking for bugs. You took as many pictures as you could. Filming his smile, his voice, his eyes.
The day came to an end, and you carried him on your back to the apartment you were staying in.
After showering him and singing him a song, you finally took your phone off of DND.
Immediately, you were bombarded with millions of messages from everyone. 20 missed calls from Gen. 11 from Ian. 6 from your dad. 120+ text messages in total. 1 from Gojo.
Was everything ok? Please don’t let something be bad. Please. Please everyone be safe. You heart beat increased. You were immediately transported to when you received news of Satoru’s accident. When the world learned about you running out of your wedding. When Satoru’s affair came out to the world. When you first got the calls of your mother’s sickness...
No. I can’t be selfish right now. If something happened, I have to be strong. Swallowing your fears, you opened the message you thought was the most important right now
Satoru: I’m sorry
No no no. He can’t do this again. He can’t! No please God no… You were almost about to call him, when you received another message from Gen. She was incessantly messaging you. Accidentally clicking on it, you read her last message
Gen: Please answer. Are you ok?
Now you were confused. Why was she asking if you were ok? You weren’t the victim. Doing some simple sleuthing, you looked at all the previous messages. Your eyes widened. You heart stopped. Tears filled your eyes. Looking over at Sachi, you took in a shaky breath. You had to be strong. Or at least strong enough to leave the room before you broke down. You had to do this for him. Stop being selfish Y/N
Shakily you walked out of his room. Looking back to make sure he was asleep; you closed the door gently. Before falling to your knees and letting all the tears fall. They pooled in the floor. You made sure to be quiet, but you were inconsolable. You hugged yourself tightly. You were being selfish right now. You knew that. But you were alone, and it was dark. It was ok to be selfish right now. Your heart was racing as you consoled yourself.
After half an hour of crying on the floor. You took a deep breath in and stood up. You went to the bathroom and stared at yourself.
“You need to stop being such a selfish monster, Y/N. You can’t keep ruining people. You can’t always be the victim. You need to make amends for everything you’ve done.”
You started your nightly ritual. Tears would occasionally mix in with cleanser or the water, but you didn’t stop. You had to be normal. You had to be happy. You owed everyone that. Sometimes it felt like you were caged behind your smile. Your joy had become a prison: a way to pay off all the bad things you’ve done.
Settling in bed, you grabbed your phone and responded to almost everyone. Finally, you reached Satoru’s message.
Y/N: No worries! Congratulations! I expect an invitation lol :)
Satoru proposed to Akemi.
(Flash back to a year ago)
After that New York trip, you hated everyone. You hated your dad for pushing you into this marriage. You hated Getou for helping Satoru cheat on you during your marriage, but not understand why you wouldn’t want a baby with Satoru. You hated Satoru’s mom for projecting her self-loathing onto you. You hated your mom for dying.
Above all else, you hated Satoru for what he did to you. He blamed you for a marriage he agreed to. He gaslit you into staying, knowing your selfless nature would do anything for his forgiveness. Even if that meant being a wife to a man in love. You hated him for taking you to the Bora Bora trip. You hated him for choosing your only friend to date. You hated that you had to go through months of emotional neglect and abuse for him to be kind. Just for Akemi to get it immediately. You hated that he became a better person only after using you. You hated him. You HATED him.
A spiteful part of your heart almost laughed. You were right! All the reasons he loved you, he found in her. You saw all the pictures he had of her. You saw the way he would caress her fingers. You saw him waiting for her. He never loved you! You were just convenient. And that’s why he loved her! Because she was convenient. Had you never sent her to meet him, they wouldn’t have fallen in love. If anything, he would be dating the nurse! Gojo Satoru doesn’t love. He just clings on to what’s closest.
You spent a month marinating in these thoughts. In the week where you didn’t have Sachiro, you wouldn’t leave the office. You had begun sleeping there. You lost weight. Your face was pale. You were a walking corpse. You got assistants to pick up and drop off Sachiro. You never spoke to Satoru.
This was to be your life now. After spending three days in the basement of the office creating, cutting, and sowing, Nobara finally convinced you to leave.
“Seriously Y/N, this is the 4th time I’ve had to get you gauze instead of bandages. I know you’re hurt, and I know you’re trying to distract yourself. But this is getting dangerous. Not only for you but for the clothes! We can’t sell anything if it has your blood all over it!” She tried to joke at the end
As you finished wrapping the gauze around your forearm, you pitifully looked at her. She was so young and innovative. Despite being an intern, you had already set aside a permanent spot in the company for her. Stop burdening her with your problems.
Blinking away your sorrowful expression, you laughed. “Guess I gotta wrap myself in gauze and bandages before getting to work right?”
“Or you could just take a break. Jeez, I never thought workaholic millionaires existed.”
Ruffling her head as you walked towards her. “Thank you for waiting for me. You really didn’t have to. I promise, I won’t take advantage of your kindness. Go ahead and go home, I’ll lock up.”
Stunned, she took a second to respond. Your eyes were different right now. They were vulnerable and sad, but they were so kind at the same time.
“It’s no problem! Really! Thank you Y/N. Let’s work hard together.” Bowing, she made her way out of the store. Maybe you were going to get better?
After cleaning up, you placed the small stuffed bear you were working on in your small bag. Locking the store behind you, you headed towards your apartment. You had made the choice to move out. You were so filled with anger all the time. It would kill you if you were to accidentally lash out against the people you treasured. It was a tough conversation, but you needed space.
As you walked, you decided last minute to head into a craft store. You needed a simple heart locket. Then you could gift the toy to your son.
With only one mission and energy drinks fueling you, you almost didn’t notice them. It wasn’t until you heard your son’s gleeful laughter did you perk up. Peering through the aisles, you saw him. No, you saw them. They both held your son’s hands as they looked at the toys. Letting go only when he would rush over to the loudest or brightest thing. Finally, he settled on a small plush. It had no lights and didn’t make any noise. They encouraged him to get something more expensive. Something flashier. But he didn’t. He wanted the light pink bunny.
“It makes me think of mama!”
You saw Satoru and Akemi falter. It seemed that even the mention of your name silenced them. Your heart was beating so loud, you were sure they could hear it too. Leaning down Satoru ruffled his head.
“Aren’t you a sweet little munchkin! Oh, but look at this!”
You heart almost stopped. You saw Satoru redirect Satchiro’s attention to a cooler, bigger toy. As any kid would, he dropped the stuffed bunny and ran towards the huge toy. Gojo and Akemi exchanged relieved expressions. After purchasing the toy, they headed out.
Walking into the aisle, you picked the bunny up. Holding it, you inspected its simplicity. Looking at the face, you realized why the bunny reminded him of you. The bunny had little tear dops in its eyes. Rushing to the cashier, you bought the bunny and the heart locket. It appears that you rushed too fast, as by the time you exited the store, they were still there.
Sachiro, the spoiled child he was, was throwing a tantrum at having to be put in the car seat. As if he could detect your presence, Satoru immediately looked up. He saw you holding the bunny toy. His eyes filled with guilt and embarrassment. He knew that you were going to be upset. Of course you were. You were always angry at something. Nonetheless, he called you over. You were still the mother of his child.
After seeing the domestic moment in the store, you wanted to go up to them and give them a piece of your mind. You wanted to yell at them at the very least. But no, you walked over to them. Refusing to look up.
At the mention of your name Sachiro perked up. Although he was already strapped into the seat, he did his best to peek out of the car door.
“Hi Y/N”. the tension was palpable. Choosing to ignore him, you approached Sachiro.
“Hi my little star! How are you? Did you have fun today?”
“Hi mommy! I missed you! Wanna go home! We did a lot of stuff-hmm mommy what are you holding?”
Remembering you were holding the bunny, you quickly hid it behind you back. “Just work stuff baby. I’m happy to hear you had fun! Mommy has to go, but I’ll see you this Sunday, ok baby?”
Giving him a big kiss, you did your best to hug him and said goodbye.
Without looking up, you thanked Gojo and Akemi and began walking away. As soon as you got home, you set the plush down and pulled out your own. They both looked so ugly in your bandaged hands. Gently setting down the plush bunny, you tightly held onto the bear’s neck. Slowly, the pressure increased, and you were chocking the bear as tears streamed down your face. It was so ugly. This ugly bear in your ugly hands in your ugly home. Everything was so ugly.
A beep from your phone broke you from this trance. It was from Satoru.
Satoru: Hey
Satoru: Just wanted to let you know that we meant no harm in not getting him the bunny.
Then why? Why not get him that stupid toy! Sachiro is my kid! I am his mom! If he wanted that toy, then you should have gotten it! You almost wrote everything you thought. But no- no you were wrong. Sachiro wasn’t yours. Satoru had every right to get his son whatever he wanted. You kept Sachiro away from him for three years. You were the bad guy.
Trembling you came to the realization. Rushing to the bathroom, you stripped yourself of all the clothes and the bandages. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You almost barfed. You were a monster. You were disgusting. Disfigured. Non-human.
Is this how Satoru felt?
The worst part of you were your eyes. They were so dead. Did you always look like this? How could anyone even stand to look at you? You were vile.
You had change. You spiraled into an abyss of anger and resentment. You lost yourself. Where was the sweet girl you once were. Growing a backbone didn’t mean you had to change. After a quick shower filled with tears, you got dressed and headed into the spare room. You spent the rest of the night making a light blue bunny. Unlike the store bought one, this one was smiling. It was happy. Sowing the heart locket onto the chest, you put in a small image of you and Sachiro.
You had to be better. You had to be kind.
Grabbing the phone, you replied.
Y/N: Thank you for reaching out, but really, I didn’t mind!
Y/N: Good night!
The next day, you didn’t go to work. Instead, you were at a café, waiting for someone to show up. You felt awful, but you knew this was the best thing to do. You had to be kind. Even if that meant being a villain. If being evil is the price you pay, then you will gladly pay it. Even more people would hate you. Everyone would. But you knew what you were doing was good. You had to be good.
As soon as he walked in, you knew that he knew. His furrowed brow and tight jaw made it obvious that he was upset. And he had every right to be. Any anger and hate he harbored for you, you would accept.
“Toji, here’s your coffee. I’m so incredibly sorry for calling you at the last minute. I appreciate the time you took out of your day to meet with me”
He didn’t even sit down. He didn’t take the coffee.
Its now or never. Getting on your knees, you placed your hands on the floor and bowed. Your forehead was almost touching the floor.
“Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being a shoulder to lean on. Thank you for letting me join your family. Thank you for everything Toji. And I am so sorry for not giving you an ounce of it back. I am a selfish monster. I took everything you gave me and more. I was never a good fiancé. I wasn’t even a good friend. I took advantage of your loneliness. I will never forget the time we had together. But I ask you to forget about me. You deserve a more honest person. A person who can give you everything you deserve and more.”
People were looking and many taking pictures. Noticing this, he grabbed you by your arm, and headed out of the café. His grip was strong; it was sure to leave a bruise in your forearm, he nearly threw you into the passenger side of the car, slamming the door. He walked over to his side and began driving. The car was silent. You took refuge in it. You knew what he was going to ask. And you had to lie. You had to make him hate you.
Soon enough, he parked in a desolate park. He refused to look at you. You didn’t want to look at him either, but you did. You had to.
After minutes of harrowing silence, he finally spoke in a low voice
“Did you sleep with him?”
You knew he was going to ask this. A tear slid down your cheek. Your hands had begun to bleed as you kept them in closed fists.
“Yes”
He still didn’t look at you.
“Bullshit. You forget that I can see through your lies. I know why you’re doing this. You love him. You never stopped. Even after all the shit he put you through you still want him. Why now? Three years and I wasn’t enough for you. I defend you; I support you... all for what? For you to run back to your abuser. Every time I think your mine, you disrespect me. You humiliate me. You’re doing to me what that fucker did to you.”
“…Yes. I am. That’s why you have to leave me Toji. I can’t stand my reflection. I am so selfish-”
“Shut up. Don’t play the ‘pity me’ card. God, you really are something. The forever victim.”
You stayed quiet. In a perfect world, you would defend yourself. You would tell him that you aren’t trying to be the victim. You never were! You see that now.
“You’re right.”
“All those fucking articles were right about you. I spent so much time, so much energy telling you they were lies. Turns out strangers know you better than I do. You are a two-timing bitch. You are selfish. You’re insatiable. Why couldn’t I have been enough for you. How the hell was I competing with the man who never loved you? And losing! You deserve nothing, you know that… You never left that room, did you?”
“W-what room?”
“That hospital room. Sure, you’re older now. You’ve been to a million places. But mentally? Mentally, you’re still in that hospital room. There is no cure for your loneliness. Face it Y/N, the problem has and always will be you. If you want to die next to your mom, be my guest. But you need to leave that room Y/N. If not for you, for your kid.”
He stayed quiet. It was your turn to speak. He didn’t want to hear you, but his patient nature told him to give you a chance. Not to defend yourself. But rather explain yourself.
“You’re right Toji. I think that’s why I always look for you. You always have the wisest things to say. And I know that. I’ve let the world pass me by. I have a void in my heart and its rotted me from the inside out. I’ll spend my entire life working for your forgiveness. And my lifetime might not be enough for that. You are everything to me. And that’s why I can’t let myself continue to poison you. I’ve changed you for the worst.”
You two sat in silence. You could hear his uneven breath. Reaching out you put hand on his shoulder. For the first time he turned to look at you. And there he saw it. Your eyes.
Red and puffy with tears, your face for once didn’t look as haunted as usual. There was always this air of anger around you. Your shoulders were always tense. Eyebrows always furrowed. Not now. You looked younger. Instead of the anger that had clouded your eyes, he could finally see his reflection.
You didn’t look happy per se, but you looked aware. He looked at the hand on his shoulder. Even after everything he said, you were comforting him? This was the old you. The selfless to a fault Y/N. He couldn’t tell if this was a good or bad thing.
He then noticed the mark on your forearm, already purple. In the shape of his hands. Reaching out he gently caressed the bruises, guilt settling in the pit of his stomach. You grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips.
“Don’t worry about it. I love you Toji. Please, forget me.”
When the news broke out that you had ended your relationship, Ian did his best to remove a lot of the posts. It was hard since there were so many shots of you on the floor begging for forgiveness. If you didn’t look guilty then, now you did. Why else would you be apologizing? But you didn’t mind. Instead, you focused on removing any article that spoke badly on Toji. Especially after some pictures of you and that hand-print bruise were published.
Fortunately, your brand had already been established. And while the coverage halted some planned promotions and runways, by the end of the month everything was normal again.
You changed your phone to a flip phone. You did your best to text Satoru about pick up times. Most often he wouldn’t respond. Instead, you would have to call Miwa. On the rare occasion that he did, you would spend the rest of the day crying. You cried so much. You couldn’t help but remember that way they both held Sachiro’s hands. The domestic life you would never provide for him.
Often you would contemplate if you should have accepted him. Did you really love him? Or was it just easier to love him? You couldn’t trust yourself. Your mind was in ruins. You had no one. Since your change in attitude, people have become nicer to you. But you weren’t happy. And you stopped letting people get close. You even began to push away Gen and Ian. Monthly, you would meet with your dad and that was it.
Was life good? No, but it was better. You would be content if life stayed like this. But now, a year after your failed marriage, Satoru was going to prepare his own.
(Present time)
The day after receiving that message, it was published everywhere. It was the only thing articles were talking about. With the mentions of Satoru’s new marriage, you were put into the spotlight again.
The paparazzi swarmed you. Leaving your house had become difficult. They harassed you. Pushing you while demanding you answer questions. You smiled. You thanked them for their time. You would bid them farewell. It was too dangerous that you could no longer pick your son up. Not that you minded. You didn’t want to see how happy they were. Not until you were done healing at least.
You spent the weekend doing everything Sachiro wanted. Breakfast in bed? Of course. Quick trip to the local festival? Duh. Building a fort? Obviously.
By the time Sunday night came he was so tired. All he asked was that you sing to him before his dad picked him up. Now you sat with Sachiro’s head on your lap. Normally, a bodyguard would meet you at your door and take your son downstairs as to not garner attention.
As soon as the knock came, you gently laid his head on couch. Slowly you opened the door, expecting to see the normal guard.
“Thank- oh. Good evening, Satoru. Are you here to pick up Sachiro?”
He looked past you and saw Sachiro sleeping. Letting himself in, he sat on the couch and petted Sachi’s head. After moments of silence, he finally spoke up.
“Yes, but I also came because I need to talk to you.”
Solemnly, you nodded. “I actually have something to say as well. I was planning to email it later, but if you’re here then we should discuss. Would you like anything?”
Satoru couldn’t help but stare at you. Just a year ago, he had buried the old you. It was his fault he knew that. If you were mean and angry, it was because he made you that way. The damage was irreparable. But here he saw her again. Or at least a glimpse of her.
Even though he didn’t respond, you still handed him a water bottle.
“Did you want to go first?”
“Um, yes. I just... I just wanted to apologize for not letting you know. I was planning on calling you, but I got distracted. I’m sorry you had to learn that way.”
“Silly. We all flub up sometimes. I would have appreciated knowing so that I could explain it to Sachiro. Thank you for apologizing.”
Even though you were smiling, he could tell you were sad. Your eyes were distant. It was like you had detached yourself from everyone. Somehow, he already missed that angry Y/N. At least he knew what you were thinking. Now, it felt like when you two had gotten married. How you smiled every time he yelled at you. He expected you would say the “I don’t care what you do with your life” speech and spitefully kick him out. He could sleep well knowing you hated him. But seeing your smile, it felt like he was cheating again. No. No, you asked for him to forget you. This is good. You’re getting better. But is returning to your selfless self better? That’s when you suffered the most. That’s what changed you.
You didn’t give him much time to think as you started to speak.
“Satoru, can I ask you for a favor?”
He knew what you were going to say. This nice act can’t last forever. This was the angry Y/N he knew.
“Can you take care of Sachiro for a couple of months? I know it’s a lot, but I have some... business to take care of. I would take him with me, but I don’t want to separate you from him anymore than I already have.”
Oh?
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll take care of him. I can’t believe you had to ask. He’s my son, of course I will take care of him.”
His tone had changed. He had gotten angry at the mention of the three years. You didn’t react. You just thanked him.
Gojo enjoyed his week with Sachiro and Akemi. It felt like they had a family. This is what he wanted. Sure, you were Sachiro’s real mom, but Akemi was also kind of like a mom. He noticed how well the two got along. He sought comfort in her and laughed with her. Yes. This is good.
Yet, he couldn’t help but think about you.
Every time Sachiro offered the first bite of his food to him. Every time Sachiro defended the annoying people at the mall. Every time Sachiro smiled, Satoru saw you. Yes, Sachiro looked exactly like him, but everything about him was you. It was all you.
His heart almost broke when he saw Sachiro singing to his stuffed animals.
“Hey munchkin. BedTIME!” He joyfully grabbed Sachiro and swung him around the room. Instead of laughing, Sachiro began to pout.
“No playing at bedtime dada. No”
“Oh, my bad Sachi.” He was a replica of you.
Satoru sat on the bed as Sachiro headed to the bathroom, pulled out his step stool and began cleaning his face. After finishing his regiment, he waddled back into the room and settled himself into bed.
“Is dada going to read me a story?”
“Can I sing to you instead munchkin?”
“Hmmm… no thank you dada.”
“Aww you’re a meanie! Um, but actually I need to talk to you about something serious.”
“Mhmm”
“You like Akemi, right? Dada likes her a lot. But it’s very important that you like her.”
“Yesh! Akemi is nice!”
He knew that this was wrong, but he had to ask. “Do you ever think Akemi could be like momma?”
Immediately tears sprouted from the boy’s eyes. He started frantically grabbing and throwing some of his toys.
“NO! Mommy is Mommy! No one else is mommy! I hate Akemi! I hate her! I want mommy! Mommy!!”
Sachiro was screeching. Gojo was thankful that Akemi was in another room. She really did love Sachiro, and it would have broken her heart to hear him say that.
He held Sachiro close, trying to console him. “Shhh, baby. Daddy didn’t mean that ok? No one will replace mommy. Mommy is all yours.” Sachiro cried until his tears tired him out. No, I can’t tell him. Not today. Maybe Y/N should tell him instead. Sorry Y/N. I’m using your selflessness again.
Soon enough the week ended, and he passed him back to you. Instead of showing up in person, as he did last time, he sent the bodyguards to take him. He was being cowardly, he knew. But he couldn’t risk Sachiro hating him. It’s your fault their relationship is so weak. It should only be right that it’s your job to explain everything to Sachiro. Right?
Satoru: Hey, I tried to tell him about me and Akemi. He didn’t respond very well. Could you explain it to him?
You almost rolled your eyes at the message. You were being punished. You knew that. But you responded with a simple ‘Ok’ anyway.
Switch offs happened at night to make sure that each parent spent the majority of the day with Sachiro. You and Sachiro headed to the bathroom and completed your nightly routine all while dancing and occasionally teasing each other. This is what you lived for. Yes, you were lonely all the time. But you weren’t lonely with him. He was your reason to exist. It was going to hurt you being away from him for so long. But this would be good for everyone. This would be your last act of selflessness. This would atone for every bad thing you did.
By the time you cleaned up all the splashed water, Sachiro was already in bed ready for his song. Instead, you sat on the floor.
“Hey star boy, I need to talk to you. It’s going to be serious, ok?”
As soon as you finished the sentence, he burst into tears. Hugging you close he shook his head in a no motion.
“NO! I hate her! I hate her! She’s not mommy! Mommy is mommy! Mommy is my star and I’m her star! Not Akemi!”
Confused you held him tight. You cooed and brushed his snow-white hair back. “No Akemi won’t replace me baby.”
He pulled away to look up at you. “Daddy asked me! He asked me if Akemi could be mommy! I said no!”
You sighed dejectedly. This is why it didn’t go well. Your son was naturally altruistic. He would have understood and accepted had Gojo explained everything normally. But it seems that Gojo had made a selfish request. Why is it always my job to clear up Satoru’s name? Why can he be selfish and be the victim, but I can’t? No! No, I can’t think that! I’ve been selfish my whole life! Satoru is a victim. This will all be solved soon…
“My star, he didn’t mean it that way. Listen to me Sachiro. Me and you are a family, right? Me and you were also part of Toji’s family. Sometimes, when you love someone, you can add them to your family. Mommy messed up with Toji, and I’m no longer part of their family. But Satoru has someone he loves. Is it ok for her to join our family?”
You had dumped a lot of information on him. It took a second to process everything.
“So, we aren’t family with Toji?”
“I’m not baby. But you will always be, ok. That’s how love works. They love you a lot.”
“Are you and daddy family?”
“Yes, we are. You make us a family.”
“But does mommy love daddy?”
You were stumped. This is probably why Satoru didn’t want this conversation. So, you answered honestly.
“Yes, mommy loves daddy.”
“Then why does daddy love Akemi?”
“Love is strange, baby. Sometimes you love people more. And he loves Akemi more. Is that ok?”
He took a second to think
“I guess…”
“Thank you for being so selfless Sachiro.” You stopped to think. “But if you’re ever not okay, then you have to tell someone, ok? Its ok to be selfish too.” You were just projecting, but you knew it was important for him to hear that too.
“Ok?”
“Speaking of being selfish… Mommy is going away for a couple of months.” As expected, he started bawling. He started kicking and throwing. He was loud. He was angry. He was betrayed
“NO! NO! Mommy can’t go! Mommy can’t leave me! She can’t! I’ll be a good boy I promise! I’ll eat every veggie! I won’t cry anymore! Mommy can’t leave!! It’s Akemi’s fault! Her fault! That’s why mommy cries so much! Its daddy too! Mommy never cried!”
You started crying too. All those times you thought you hid your tears he saw. He saw everything. This was the worst-case scenario. You had to leave. You couldn’t let him see you like that anymore. You had to leave that hospital room. Toji was right.
You held onto him. Even when he began to hit you. Even when he rubbed his snot over you. You waited until he calmed down, Silent tears were streaming down his face.
“Can we go back to New York mommy? I hate it here. Daddy is mean to mommy. Mommy cries all the time. Mommy is lonely and sad while Daddy is happy. It’s not ok.”
You wiped his tears away.
“Sachiro, don’t say that. Mommy is paying the price for being bad. Daddy deserves to be happy. He loves you so so much. Please forget everything bad, Sachiro. Daddy wasn’t mean to me. If he was, I wouldn’t let you stay with him, right? Mommy isn’t lonely. She has you. Mommy will never be sad as long as Sachiro is here. You’re like my superhero! Mommy is struggling and she needs to fix some stuff so she can be a better mommy for you ok, baby? None of this is your fault. I have to go, but I promise you, this will be better for you and for me. I promise with my whole heart. The second I get everything sorted out, I’ll pick you up. This hurts me too, baby. But I need to be a better mommy for you. None of this if your fault. Don’t you ever think that. Hey, to help my little star, I have present for you.”
You stood up and presented him with a white, sleek box. It had beautiful light blue ribbon on it. He held it but refused to open it.
“I even got myself a present so we could match!”
You pulled out your own white box. Seeing that you both had a present, he was more willing to open his. It was a phone. You had a matching one. You really didn’t want another phone, as you were content with the flip phone you already had. It made ignoring all the evil things people said about you a lot easier to manage.
“When mommy’s gone, we can call each other all the time. I’ll respond to every text. I’ll answer every phone call. I promise. I won’t be gone for long. But I’ll text you so much you’ll wish I was.”
This garnered a small giggle from him.
“Don’t worry baby, we have the rest of the week. We’ll do everything you want.”
He nodded glumly. He wasn’t too happy, but he felt a lot better knowing he could reach out to you.
You slept with him. Holding him close, you did your best to treasure these moments.
When Sunday night finally came, you asked Satoru to pick him up personally. This was a big change, even if it was temporary. You wanted Sachiro to be as relaxed as possible. You and him sat on the couch. You had packed a bunch of his valuables and even some pictures so that he wouldn’t feel so lonely. He was again on your lap, fighting to stay awake as you ran your fingers through his hair.
The serene moment was disrupted by the loud knocks coming from the door. Expecting to see Satoru you opened the door, only to see Akemi there. You did your best to keep your smile. It wasn’t that you hated her. No, she was your friend at one point to. But an evil part of you knew you could never forgive her. Not for dating Satoru, but for choosing him over your friendship. You told her everything, but because she never experienced it, she could ignore it. That is selfish. As if you can critique others for being selfish.
You welcome both of them. Sachiro already stood up, holding the blanket closely. He refused to look at his dad or Akemi. His eyes were already brimming with tears.
Bending down to his level, you caress his face. “It’s ok to cry, my star. But before you do, I have a gift for you.”
Reaching behind the couch, you presented him the light blue bunny you had made. His eyes widened and he squealed in joy Running to hug it he struggled opening the locket. One he did, he looked at you with the biggest smile on his face. He ran and hugged your knees.
“Whenever you miss mommy, give that bunny a big hug, and I’ll feel it. Have fun with Daddy. You must be a good boy. Call me whenever you want, but I promise to call you every day. Mommy just needs to get some work done and then everything will be back to normal ok?”
After a couple minutes of holding each other, he finally walked over to where Satoru was. He raised his hands asking to be picked up.
“Thank you, Satoru. Thank you, Akemi. I trust you two will take wonderful care of him.” You bowed at a 90-degree angle.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you leaving?” You hadn’t spoken to Akemi in a while. For a couple months, she stayed employed with you. Yet, after your official break up with Toji, she immediately resigned. You always wondered if she thought you did it because of Satoru.
Smiling gently you respond, “I’m sorry, I can’t say. It’s nothing crazy, I promise! I just need some time.”
“It’s not because of…”
“Goodness no! I know I haven’t been the most supportive. I’ve been downright awful. I hope both of you forgive me for how I acted. It was selfish and attention seeking. I don’t expect any special invitation, but please know that I support this relationship. I’m glad you two found each other. Truly”
Satoru almost flinched at the words you used. The guilt of you actually believing all the nasty things he said to you weighed heavy on him. He almost regretted bringing Akemi here. If she wasn’t, he would have consoled you. Even if it only would have been a hand on your shoulder.
The worst part about hearing you subscribe to all his insults was seeing the honesty behind it. You did think you were a terrible person.
Before either of them could say anything, you started ushering them out.
“You guys must head out now! Sachiro still needs his night routine. He has school tomorrow, and he’s already stayed up so late. If you guys feel like he’s too tired, I don’t mind if he doesn’t go. It’s your call. Thank you both for everything!”
You nearly pushed them out of the apartment. As soon as that door closed, you broke down. This was going to be one of the hardest things you’ve done. But you had to do it.
Nearly two months have passed. Satoru relished every second he had with his son. He has never felt more like a family than he did now. Everything was perfect.
If it weren’t for the bunny he carried everywhere. Or the fact that Sachiro couldn’t do anything without having to send his mom a text. Sending a sleepy blurry selfie was more important than getting dressed. He would facetime you every night before going to sleep. There were times where he even ignored Satoru in lieu of sending you a selfie with a filter on top of it.
Satoru heard and saw more of you now, than he did in the last year.
Even Akemi was getting a little frustrated.
Yet, Satoru wasn’t just frustrated. He felt guilty. Your presence at the house had become so abundant, that he would often stay in Sachiro’s room just to hear you sing. He did his best to mind his business, but in the cases where he saw the silly selfie you would send back. It would plague his mind for the rest of the day.
From the few glimpses he got, he could tell that something was changing. You weren’t in the office, or in any modern building it seemed. You were a lot livelier. You were happier?
How could a mom be happier away from her child? He would nearly scoff out loud at the thought. Maybe this was your way of giving him full custody? No there was no way.
The next day, after sending Sachiro to school, he headed to the office. It was a usual day. He was glad he was able to save the company. He really was going to lose all this over you? No. He loved you. And you didn’t love him. But Akemi did. And his workers needed him.
As he continued working, suddenly Miwa and Nanami both presented themselves. Miwa was always easy to read. She was skittish and nervous. Nanami, on the other hand, was harder to read, but he could tell he was a little unsure as well.
“Nanami! Miwa! What bring you in here? I reviewed my schedule already. Is there something I missed?”
Miwa cracked first. “Um... Mr. Gojo, have you been in contact with Ms. Y/N recently?”
“She calls Sachiro nearly every day. Did something happen?”
“Well, have you been in contact in the last hour?”
“Miwa may you please get to the point?”
Nervously, she looked up at Nanami. Sighing and pushing his glasses up, he handed Satoru the iPad. “None of this means anything. And if something did happen, it is not your responsibility. It’s just rather strange.”
Gojo looked over the screen. In big bold letters there it was:
Y/N STEPS DOWN FROM HEARTS COMPANY.
Y/N SELLS OVER A MILLION IN STOCKS
HEARTES INTRODUCES NEW CEO AND CREATIVE DESIGNER
Y/N RESIGNS FROM COMPANY
Y/N’S APARTMENT UP FOR SALE?!
Gojo looked at the headlines frantically. He knew what all this was implying. Yet, he needed verification. He couldn’t fathom the thought that you would have… No there’s no way. You have Sachiro. You wouldn’t do this.
“Um... what exactly does this have to do with me Nanami?”
“It means nothing. It seems that Y/N has done some irrational choices that garnered some attention from the media. That’s all this is. Unfortunately, you know how convoluted your history is with her. Some people might assume that since she’s acting out in such an illogical and hysterical manner, that she may be going through a manic episode. A manic episode that may precede…” Nanami couldn’t finish the sentence.
His heart was beating. No, there’s no way you could be gone. No. No. You made a promise! You promised to return for Sachiro. Right Sachiro. That’s why Gojo is feeling so bothered and anxious. He’s worried for the mother of his child, that’s all.
“I think… I think I’ll head home. If she has been in contact with anyone, it would be my son. Thank you for letting me know.”
As he made his way to the car, he couldn’t help but speed. He needed to make sure you were ok... for the sake of Sachiro.
On the way, he received a phone call from Akemi. Normally, he would have pulled over and answered her. But not today. He drove, breaking most speed laws all the way home. He barely turned his car off as he rushed the door. Yet, as he got to the door, he found a box. It was for Sachiro Gojo. Without hesitation, he looked at the sender’s address in the corner and typed it in. It was a two-hour drive, but he didn’t care. This box didn’t prove anything. You must have sent it days ago. If you had planned to do this all at once that meant only one thing. You were planning to commit. There was no other option. With only this one mission fueling him, he unknowingly kept ignoring Akemi’s calls
After an hour and a half of driving, Gojo started to notice his surroundings. This was an older city. There were multiple shrines and elders. There were very few cars. A lot of cats. This was weird. He continued following the GPS. He passed the city and made his way up the mountainous region. By 5 pm. He had reached an isolated house on top of the hills. The land was relatively flat once he got up there. There was an impressive house. It looked new. The house wasn’t a mansion, but it was still large. The lights in what he assumed the kitchen were on. Hesitantly, he knocked.
Soon enough someone opened the door. No, not someone, you did
There stood you. You looked younger, happier, kinder. Unlike last time, your happiness didn’t feel like a mask. It felt genuine. He couldn’t marinate in his confusion as you grabbed his hand and pulled him in.
“Hi Gojo! I’m shocked to see you here! Come in! Let me get you a lemonade. It must have been a long drive.”
You sat him down on your couch. He couldn’t help but think about that mansion. The one where you were supposed to start and raise a family. This one was a lot cozier, with the architecture of it being rounder in a way. It felt like a cottage despite its massive size. There were a lot of plants. On the walls were framed pictures. Mostly of Sachiro. A lot were ones he’s never seen. There were a lot of selfies of you two. And hidden between all of them was that Disneyland photo. It was when he had amnesia. When he thought you were cheating. Before he knew of all your lies. That instantly ruined his mood.
Placing a coaster, you set his drink down. He couldn’t help but notice that the coasters were made with images of Sachiro’s drawings.
“The lemonade is rather tart since the lemons are homegrown. So, I went ahead and added a bit of sugar. But here’s some more if you like. I don’t know if you still have the same sweet tooth. So, if I put too much sugar, let me know! I’ll get you another cup!” You set down a jar with sugar. You were so talkative. The last time you spoke this much with him was when you were kids.
He didn’t move. Noticing his discomfort, you kept talking. “I was going to call you tomorrow. But I’m glad to see you. Did you come alone?”
“Y/N, I thought you committed suicide.”
You deflated slightly. Somberly you looked around the room. With a gentle smile, you looked at him. It was like you had puppy dog eyes. He could get lost in them. It had been a year since he was attracted to you, but he couldn’t help but want to lean closer to you. To breathe your air. He stopped himself in time
“It all happened kinda fast right? I was hoping that by doing it all at once, it would be like ripping the band aid off, y’know? People are bound to talk, so instead of doing it slowly and reigniting interest in my life every couple of weeks, I thought it would be easier if I just made one big splash and let the water settle from there.”
It felt like he was in a different dimension. You spoke so casually to him. It almost felt like he was the weird one. In disbelief, he stayed quiet.
Taking a deep breath, you continued. “Honestly, I did plan to. To commit suicide, I mean. So, I guess you weren’t completely wrong.”
He stared at you. How you casually admitted to your suicidal ideations.
“What? You can’t be the only one to be suicidal right?” You joked, hoping to ease the tension. It did the exact opposite.
“Y/N I need you to fucking explain everything. No jokes”
Your gaze hardened. “Gojo, you do not disrespect me in my house. I have welcomed you because you are my child’s father, but I will forbid you from coming here again if you speak to me like that again.”
He remained silent but nodded. It was weird. You definitely had grown a backbone since he last saw you in your apartment. Just a couple months ago, you looked like the submissive, docile, doormat you once were. But now? Now you confident and strong without sacrificing your trusting and selfless nature. You were a perfect blend of your youth and your experience.
“This is my way of asking for forgiveness. From everyone. I’ve done a lot of awful things. Since that New York trip, I became vindictive. I became evil. I didn’t know why. How could I be jealous that the man I encouraged to move on moved on? I was changing Satoru. I had thought that being mean and cold was a way to protect myself. But in reality, I had gotten worse. I couldn’t stand my reflection. Then, I saw you Akemi and my star at the store. You remember right? With the pink bunny? You all looked so happy. It was the life Sachiro deserved. I went home and saw myself. Really saw myself. I couldn’t recognize who that person in the mirror was. Since then, I was determined to seek forgiveness from everyone I wronged. My first thought was to kill myself. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to my star. Even now, I find myself fantasizing about just jumping off that cliff… I even planted flowers there so whenever Sachiro visited, he would feel safe. But I can’t. That’s why I have all these photos and drawings of him. If I keep thinking of him, I’ll never have time to contemplate killing myself.”
Gojo couldn’t stop his eyes from watering. He almost reached out to grab your hands. He closed his hands harshly, forcing himself not to move. “But Y/N... you didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, you have done wrong. But we all have. You shouldn’t have to punish yourself for existing.”
Always and empath, you leaned forward and placed a cute octopus squishy in his hands. He quietly accepted it, showing the indents his nails made on palm “You don’t want to accidentally cut yourself. I learned that a little too late.” You laughed gently as you showed him your own palm. There were small scars in the shape of your nails.
Holding the squishy in one hand, he used the other hand to inspect your hand. They were different. It was obvious that you still took care of your hands: soft, supple, perfect nail beds, trimmed nails. But upon further inspection, he could see multiple scars littering your fingers. His gaze drifted upwards to your forearm. There he saw some bigger scars. Some still scabbing. He could feel his own scar throb at the memory of the pain. Gojo couldn’t stop himself as some tears fell out. He couldn’t stop himself from tracing their outline.
“Why- why would you do this? You were alone the whole time? Then why? Y/N I don’t understand you? You were going to…”
He was interrupted by your melodious laughter. You pulled your hand away. “You’re too sweet Gojo. No. No these aren’t what you think they are. It’s just some office mistakes. I jumped into my work to fill that void of loneliness. But you know, it’s pretty dangerous to be handling sharp rotary cutters when you haven’t slept for days.”
Grabbing his hand, you pulled him up. “Let’s go for a walk!”
Leading him to the back door, her couldn’t help but stare at your interlinked hands. The tips of his ears turned pink. He felt so young right now. No. No I can’t think like that.
The back yard was like a Ghibli fantasy forest. It had plenty of lush green plants and flowers growing everywhere. In a corner there was a cute gazebo with two easels ready. One noticibly smaller than the other. There were plenty of trees a reasonable distance from the house. They provided a nice area of shade. Some grew peaches, others grew limes. A stone path led to another corner where a sand pit was already set up. The entire perimeter was protected with a gorgeous white fence. Tall enough that Sachiro wouldn’t be possible to scale it. There was one exit. You headed there still holding Gojo’s hand. Typing in a security code, the door opened, and you headed into the forest. After a 5-minute walk, the forest cleared and presented a cliff side. Undoubtedly it was gorgeous. The ocean was beautiful. Flowers and clovers surrounded the area.
He didn’t realize how much time had passed until he saw that the sun was setting. You let go of his hand and sat down, resting your head on your knees. You always had that curious habit of returning to a fetal position. Settling next to you, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at you. You looked ethereal. With the sun in your face, the wind in your hair. There was a gentle smile playing on your lips as you stared at the ocean.
“Gojo…”
He couldn’t help but squish the little octopus. He didn’t know why it hurt him to hear you call him only by his last name.
“I disagree with what you said earlier. I should be punished for my existence. I’ve done nothing good. Born into a life of luxury, and I still managed to want more… When Toji broke up with me, he told me something very valuable. He told me that I was stuck in my mother’s hospital room. That I never left. And he’s right. Ever since my mom died, I became a walking corpse. I cursed myself with eternal loneliness. And yet, I so wanted to fight that loneliness. So when my father mentioned the marriage, I was ecstatic. Although we haven’t spoken in years and you refused to answer any messages I sent, my loneliness convinced me that you wanted it. I mean technically you did, but you didn’t really want it. I wonder, if I had never accepted that proposal, would you still be with Sera? Would any of this happened?”
The wind filled in for Gojo’s silence.
“My selfishness blinded me. I so badly wanted to be loved that I ignored any sign of resistance. Even when you told me that I would never compare to her, I wanted you to change for me. How pretentious. Had I just given up, then maybe you wouldn’t have thought that you loved me. When you couldn’t vanquish my loneliness, I searched for it in Toji. I abused his friendship just so that I wouldn’t be alone. When I figured out the real reason you married me, the reason you bought that house, the betrayal. That almost killed me Gojo. Imagine that. Even at my lowest I couldn’t stop seeking attention. I put myself over you, as usual. I lied and kept you from your child. I shouldn’t have been so selfish. It was okay that you didn’t love me. As long as you loved our child. But no selfish Y/N strikes again. Then, even though I knew I wasn’t ready, I still accepted when Toji proposed. I’m a monster. Just a year ago, I almost lost it. I was becoming unrecognizable Gojo. I couldn’t look at you and Akemi without getting angry. How was it fair, that I had to go through months of humiliation, which in hindsight, I did deserve, just for her to get the perfect boyfriend. I cried for months before you even held me. The first time we had sex, I had to beg you to kiss me. I hated her and I hated you. But that’s not your fault. Nor is it her’s. It’s mine. If I wasn’t so selfish and I didn’t think you loved me then none of this would have happened. I ruined so many lives because I couldn’t see past myself. If I didn’t use people to fill this abyss I have in my heart, I wouldn’t have caused you to almost commit suicide. I wouldn’t have taken Sera’s boyfriend from her. I wouldn’t have wasted Toji’s time. I wouldn’t have hurt your mom. None of this would have happened. I should have stayed in that hospital room. I should have asked them to bury me with her.”
You were crying now. Your hands shaky as they gripped tighter. You were curling in on yourself, wanting to disappear.
“If I hadn’t been so awful, Sachiro wouldn’t have seen me cry so much.”
Gojo’s heart broke. All those lies. All those insults. You believed them. No. No you weren’t selfish. You were the opposite. You always put other above yourself, even if it hurt you. Of course, you’ve committed your share of sins, but never maliciously. You were too trusting, too eager to please. And to think he didn’t love you? That nearly shattered him. He may have moved on, but the love he had for you was real. Even though he may have forgotten how to love you: even though he may have abused you: even though he didn’t deserve to love you, he has never stopped loving you since you were young.
He reached out a hand to soothe your back as you hiccupped through your gentle tears. You had a special charm that made everything you did look beautiful. But he paused seeing how stunning you were despite the tears on your face. He almost kissed you. But he didn’t. Not because he held himself back, but because he saw your eyes.
As you stared into the ocean, your eyes changed from their vulnerable and kind state to a detached, disconnected gaze. Almost like you were hypnotized by the sea. The waves calling you. It was the same gaze he had when he was suicidal.
“After seeing you at the store, I realized that I needed to atone for my sins. I needed to seek forgiveness. That night was actually the night I realized I needed to commit suicide. Not to ease my own pain, no that’s a selfish reason. I wanted to commit suicide so that everyone’s bad thoughts, everyone’s problems, and every bad thing I did could die with me. If everyone took turns spitting on my grave, I wouldn’t mind. As long as I was no longer causing problems, it would have been worth it. I spent the whole night making a new stuffed animal for him. I cut myself a lot by accident, but I didn’t mind. That was going to be his last gift. My existence is a mistake. Me dying would be a gift to the world.”
“And?”
“And I clearly decided not to. I owe my life to Sachiro. As long as he needs me, I will live for him. I want to die, Gojo. I want to give everyone the life they had before they met me. I want everyone to be happy again. But I can’t. Because I have my little star. I’m evil Gojo. I’m a black hole. I pull people in, only to destroy them. I’m afraid one day I might do that to him too.”
You turned to look at him, tears streaming down your face.
“It kills me to know that one day I’ll hurt him too. But he loves me so much. He fills the void in my heart. I’m not lonely when I’m with him and I know its selfish, but the way he looks at me... The way he looks at me almost makes me think I’m a good person.”
Gojo continued staring at you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Hearing you talk about yourself this way hurt him immensely. It almost felt like he was drowning. No, you didn’t get better. None of your problems were solved. You just learned to live with them.
You leaned close to Gojo. The honesty in your eyes almost scared him. “Gojo, if you ever notice that Sachiro is suffering being with me, I need you to tell me. The second I start poisoning him, I’ll kill myself.”
The conviction behind your words paralyzed him. You two sat there for a minute. He didn’t know what to say. He knew what this felt like. He knew the exact emotions you were drowning in. But he couldn’t help but think that you were a lot worse. You have begun to hate your entire existence. You had no one. The amount of self-hate you had was shocking.
After a couple minutes of silence, you wiped your tears away. Standing up you offered your hand to him.
Looking at you now, it felt like he was in an alternate dimension. One where he confessed when he was younger. One where he never met Sera. One when he got on a knee and properly proposed. And he almost believed it. Just as he reached to grab your hand, he finally noticed how his phone was ringing. Looking down he saw Akemi’s number. He looked at you apologetically. You smiled kindly and continued to offer your hand. As his bigger hand enveloped yours, he imagined pulling you in close and kissing you in the sunset. Just like the romance novels you loved. As soon as he stood up, though, you released his hand. Walking past him you headed back to you house.
You were giving him privacy. He was at crossroads; stay here and answer the phone or chase after you. All those times he didn’t. Maybe he should this time. No. He’s going to get married. He’s made his choice. And like usual, he didn’t chase after you.
He spent some time with Akemi on the phone. He explained the entire situation to her. He omitted everything you told him, though. That was for him only. He calmed her down and promised he would be home by the end of the night.
Walking back to your house, he smelled the pasta you used to love so much. You only ever cooked it for him once. He saw you humming as you stirred the pasta with the sauce.
“Y/N, I’m going to head out now. Akemi is worried. You should call your family too. They’re probably worried too.”
You turned to him. You looked like a picture-perfect housewife with the apron you had on. You hummed in agreement.
“They already know, but thank you for the suggestion. It was nice seeing you. Would you like some food to take for the trip?”
He should say no. There’s no way to explain leaving work to spend the whole day with your ex-wife to your fiancé. Much less if he brought food with him.
“Sure.”
You packed it into some cute tupperware. It had little duckies on the lids. He just realized how much you changed financially as well. Besides the large house, one would never assume you came from wealth. There was very little name brand stuff. A lot of the decorations were local.
Noticing his curious gaze as you handed the Tupperware to him, you giggled.
“If we see each other again, feel free to ask any questions. We’ve both changed a lot. I hope next time you talk a bit more. I kinda hogged the whole conversation today huh?”
You walked him to the door and waved him goodbye.
He spent the next two hours just re-living that time. Already he missed being in your house. He could already imagine you, him, and Sachiro painting outside or going to the local city for festivals. Despite all the heartbreaking things you told him, all the awful things you thought of yourself, you managed to make a sanctuary. It was always in your nature to find the silver lining in every circumstance. You obviously needed a therapist. But a selfish part of him was glad that he was your confidante. As far as he was concerned, only he knew of how you felt, where you lived, why you did what you did. It was like you were still his.
As soon as he recognized these thoughts, he pulled over. There is no way he can think like that. No that would be unfair to Akemi. He’s already hurt you so much. He pushed you to the point of trauma. He changed you. Even now, the scars of hos he treated you were present. Everything you thought was because he had told you it at one point. No. He couldn’t do all that to Akemi either.
Grabbing the cute Tupperware with the pasta, he almost threw it out.
Instead, he took a second to look at it. It was two big ducks and little baby one. You had used a ribbon to tie some utensils on the top. Everything your hands made had some care and love imbued into it. Opening it, he aggressively ate it all. It was delicious, as expected. While he ate, he started crying. Why? Why did seeing you like that hurt him so much? Why did he use Akemi’s name instead of calling her his fiancé? Why didn’t he hold you as you cried? Why do you use his last name? Why?
He drove home that night. He kissed Akemi before she could even greet him. She immediately melted into the kiss, even if she was still peeved at being ghosted the whole day. He playfully pleaded for her to forgive him. He smiled. He laughed. But for some reason her couldn’t look her in the eyes like he used to. A part of him wished it was you he was holding.
He went to Sachiro’s room. It was messier than usual. He noticed a bunch of crocheted toys he had never seen before. I guess that’s what was in the box. He reached his son, and he stopped to stare at him. Sachiro was holding two things as he slept. The bunny, per usual, but also a note. In big letters Gojo could make out Momma’s Ready! Sachiro was still learning to read, so you hadn’t written much. Still, just seeing those two letters had excited Sachiro so much that he slept with it. On his little tummy laid the phone. Close to dead, Gojo picked it up to charge it. There he saw that Sachiro had been listening to a video you recorded of yourself singing to him. Oh right. Since you had spent the whole evening with Gojo, you couldn’t call Sachiro.
For a reason Gojo couldn’t explain, he sent the video to his own phone. He plugged the phone in and walked out of the room.
Akemi had already headed to their own room. Before Gojo could, he had to organize some stuff.
“Hello, I know its late. I’m just letting you know not to pick up Sachiro tomorrow. I’ll handle the drop off.”
Gojo had to see you. Just for answers. He just wanted you to explain yourself. That’s all
At least that’s what he told himself. But when he slept that night, he dreamt of living in that house with you. He dreamt of cooking breakfast for Sachiro and you. He dreamt of a world where you were his.
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I know I've mentioned it in another post or two, but while Fizz is certainly suffering in the new episode, Ozzie is too from seeing his love super stressed, overworking himself and essentially spending his time on something he knows Fizz doesn't really need to do because he's talented enough that he doesn't have to prove it; saddling himself up with Mammon for another year and putting himself in an uncomfortable position in dealing with more creeps/generating more creeps by doing this is also pretty terrible too. :(
I have little doubt that they've had this discussion before about why Fizz is doing the pageant, with Fizz probably getting more freaked out about it every year, but this time being different because he hasn't seen the competition this year thanks to being kidnapped, so he doesn't know what he's walking into. The fact he got kidnapped going to the contest rehearsal is probably also a contributing factor as to why Ozzie is being really vocal about the pageant this year too because if Fizz hadn't gone to it, then that whole traumatizing scenario would have been avoided. :/ (I know that means the reconciling with Blitz wouldn't have happened for Fizz, but that's a separate point all together :/). It is an important note that Ozzie wants to get to the bottom of why Fizz is competing and keeps at it later because even though he's not a fan of it, him at least understanding his reasoning then means he can hear both sides of the discussion he's trying to have with Fizz and possibly adjust/help versus straight saying he's right.
In the end though, there's nothing Ozzie can really do except voice his opinions and try to convince Fizz not to do the pageant because if he forces/orders Fizz not to do it, he's taking Fizz's choice out of the matter, which is bad on a consent and relationship level, but him to also seeing Fizz somehow be more unhappy/worried about not doing the contest obviously breaks his heart. ;_;
Small wonder Ozzie reached out to Blitz because it does hurt when someone you care about won't listen to you, especially when you know they're in a bad position and need to get out of it. ;_;
#fizzarolli#fizzmodeus#fizzarozzie#fizzozzie#fizz x ozzie#ozzarolli#asmodeus#ozzie#helluva boss fizzarolli#helluva boss asmodeus#helluva boss ozzie#mammon's magnificent musical#screenshots#analysis#my heart#poor fizz#poor ozzie#;_;#<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3#helluva boss#vivziepop#i love them so much#just let them be happy#helluva boss blitz#blitz#blitzo#blitzø#gif
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Buddie 7x04 Meta Part 4 (of 4)
Click here for part 1, part 2, and part 3.
This is the last part so it probably won't be as long (hopefully).
This entire conversation with Tommy includes a lot of references to Eddie. Whether Eddie's mad, how Eddie feels, why Eddie would like Tommy, how Eddie/Chris feel about Buck, how Eddie is such a great person and everyone would want to be friends with him, etc. Even when they're not talking about Eddie, they're talking about Eddie. And I love the idea of Tommy and Eddie being friends. Because honestly at the end of the day, it was Buck who was projecting more than friendship onto Tommy and Eddie's relationship. Queer men can have platonic friends that they like without wanting to be with them, and it genuinely does seem like that's what Tommy and Eddie are to each other. Their chemistry wasn't all in Buck's head, but how the two of them together made Buck feel? That was so real and super super telling.
Here's callback number ∞ to the streetfighting arc. This line in particular borrows a very particular...word...from a very particular grocery store fight. In 3x05, Eddie is the maddest he's ever been at Buck because Buck starting the lawsuit meant "I couldn't even talk to you", "Do you know how much Christopher misses you? How could you you weren't around?", "because you're exhausting!" Exhausting has been a buzzword in the Buddie fandom for many years and most people use it as an excuse for overdone and unnecessary Buck whump, but it's an interesting choice here. Especially in conjunction with Buck's acknowledgment of "making everything about him" which is another thing that is mentioned in the same episode 3x05 AS WELL AS in 3x09. But now, it's being used in a different context. Buck is falsely ascribing all of his attempts to get Eddie's attention over the last however many days to trying to get Tommy's attention. Even Tommy's like huh? "My attention?"
Lou places emphasis on "my". "My attention?" So even Tommy knows that this whole time Buck has been trying to get Eddie's attention. He's surprised that Buck is suddenly saying it's been about Tommy the whole time when quite obviously, it has not been.
Even Buck himself is not so certain about that. He "guesses so" because in this moment he's feeling infatuation, a connection with Tommy, a warm feeling that maybe reminds him of how he felt in the early days getting to know Eddie. He "guesses so" because that's the easy explanation to a question that's been circling his mind non-stop the past few days. It's an answer, and as we know Buck is always seeking an answer. It's a "for now readily available easy explanation" that Buck can take at face value because it means he can sleep easy at night knowing that his place with Eddie is safe again for the time being.
Even just a couple of seconds before the kiss happens, Buck brings up Eddie one last time in case you forget who's always on Buck's mind. He then mentions Maddie's words "There are better ways to get someone's attention", before he's interrupted. But before I dive into the kiss, I want to mention the implications that Tommy believes the best way to get someone's attention when you like them, instead of getting jealous, is to kiss them. It's an interesting suggestion, that all of this time, instead of all Buck's stupid peacocking attempts to try and get Eddie's attention this episode...he could've just kissed him. Foreshadowing? Only time will tell.
And boom. There we have it folks. Tommy kisses Buck, and the lightbulb goes off. Buck is attracted to men, he likes men AND women. This is 911's definitive statement that yes, we were right, Buck is bisexual, has been this whole time, and will always be in the future. And no, it's not just in relation to Eddie (which by the way is an IMPORTANT distinction). Buck is attracted to men in general, he's a bisexual man, and the show is not doing a "gay for you" trope here. They're committing to Buck being a queer man and this opens a world of new doors for him.
And again, I've said it once and I'll say it again: finally letting Buck realize his bisexuality, and act on it ON SCREEN (not just a throw-away mention) is REVOLUTIONARY. This representation is incredibly important and Buck's bisexuality on its own, separate from any love interest, will always be a part of him. Whether you like Tommy or not, that's not what matters. What matters is that Buck is realizing he can find happiness with a man. And more than likely, he will end up with a man, not because he has to, but because his perfect partner in the show has already been proven to be a man.
Eddie Diaz.
With this kiss, we are officially on the path towards Buddie. Buck kissing Tommy, or having a temporary relationship with him does not negate that. Just like Buck was always going to end up with Eddie even through his relationships with Abby, Ali, Taylor, and Natalia. Tommy is no different. And if after four long essays explaining point by point why that is true isn't enough to open your eyes, then I simply can't help you anymore.
Some last tidbits:
This reminded me of the Lonestar crossover where Eddie begs Marjan to "for the love of God, please follow Buck back on Insta." Just interesting since Eddie x Marjan was another fake-out love interest coupling.
And finally, the last 3x09 callback. This reminded me of the line when Buck says Eddie wanted to throw punches at him, Eddie says "I wouldn't do that", gives him a seductive look, and then says "You're on blood thinners". To which Buck says his famous "I could still take you". Yet another verbal comparison of Tommy to Eddie.
Final thoughts: This episode was fucking amazing (I really liked Athena's story too). This episode was more than enough proof for me that Buck and Eddie are going to get together. Buck is bisexual and FREE!!!!!!!
We were right about that, we're gonna be right about Eddie, and we're gonna be right about Buddie. Just unclench and enjoy the ride.
And for my fellow warriors who've been in the trenches for years telling everyone that the story will get there eventually, I salute us all! I hope yesterday's episode was vindication for you all as much as it was for me. I had a blast working with you all. See you all again for our celebrations when Eddie comes out and Buddie becomes canon. For now, I hope everyone had a Happy Bi Buck day!!
Full meta: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
#911 abc#buddie#buddie meta#911 meta#911 speculation#bucktommy#buddie speculation#buck x eddie#evan buckley x eddie diaz#this took me literally an entire work shift (8 hours)
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How much violence do you think Batman should be able to get away with and still remain a hero or vigilante while also not losing his characterization?
There are times where no lives are in immediate danger and he only needs to get information but then he just casually breaks bones, effectively torturing someone. Like in the videogames Telltale Batman or the Arkham games' verse or even the movies and comics where he dishes out way more violence than necessary. That scene where he threatens to crush a guy's head with the Batmobile and actually has the car start rolling over his head, cracking it slightly. Or the interrogation of Eli in the Telltale game where Batman can pretty much brutalize and torture an already frightened criminel if the player so chooses. Or the comics, where he sometimes says he enjoys hurting criminals and sends them to the ER without a second thought.
Also, do his kids know just how brutal Bruce can be on a Tuesday just cause he feels like a criminel deserves it? After a patrol, he'll reprimand them for breaking someone's collarbone or if he thinks they took it too far even though he does that all the time. It's not like the Batkids never do it themselves, but when they do, they're mostly in extremely emotional states and not a cold clinical mindset. One could argue Jason and Cass are exessively violent too but, well, Jason is an anti-hero (or villain) and Cass is still learning how far is too far.
And if the kids didn't know/realise, what would happen if they saw a recording of Batman absolutely dismantling a criminal in a detached sort of way (maybe a rogue maybe not, whatever would be worse ig) and then having to reconcile that that's the man who's like a father to them.
It's a very interesting question, and I suspect you'll get a different answer from everyone you ask.
My take is that it comes down to two things: intention and likelihood. Bruce's line for injury/torture/death sits somewhere between probably won't kill them or cause grievous injury and could cause death or grievous injury.
Throwing a guy off a high-up roof isn't just likely to kill someone, it was likely intended to do so. As we see in Batman Begins, you can throw someone off a (low) roof and not kill them, without the intention of killing them, and without the high likelihood of the act killing them.
Breaking a man's leg for information probably won't kill him, but it could! The break could be done wrong, or heal wrong, and cause a blood clot that killed the man. But was breaking the man's leg intended to kill him? Was it done with full knowledge that the break would likely result in death? Is that something a reasonable individual can even evaluate on their own?
The argument can be made that hitting someone in the head could result in death. So is Bruce risking his no-kill rule on a technicality when he punches people into walls? Does dying from a complicated TBI years later count?
I find the branding example in BVS a fascinating discussion of this point. Bruce doesn't kill the men he brands, but he effectively sets the men up to be killed in prison. Is it the same? Does he intend for the brand to kill the men? Does he have knowledge of the likelihood of death as a result of his brand? Does Lex's meddling actually change any of that when it's revealed later?
The third thing I haven't brought up but that you did is Bruce's enjoyment/active participation in all of this. Does he hurt people because it's effective? Is it ever gratuitous? Is he detached from the suffering he causes, viewing it as a means to an end? Does Gotham play by different rules -- i.e., is torture and grievous bodily injury ever acceptable in Gotham when it wouldn't be in other cities? Is Bruce a man willing to do what it takes at the end of his rope, or is he a man who resorts to violence when there are still other viable options? Somewhere in between?
I do agree that, with the addition of Robins and other family members, the violence likely tones down unless absolutely necessary. Hurting people shouldn't be enjoyable, but it is downright painful for some people (not Bruce) to witness firsthand.
#thoughts#ramble#anon#asks#hope this helped a little#even though I mostly just asked more questions#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfamily#dc meta#dc comics
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Hello! I have a question that may be a tad uncomfortable but I don't know who could answer honestly. How do you get over class with a professor who self identifies as your mentor/father? He spilled his guts to me after class and told me how happy he was he connected to a young girl like me(Im 19 he's 59). He will be my prof for the ENTIRE year. I don't know how to feel, it wasn't flirty at all, and I actually think he sees himself in me. He's odd and off putting and stand offish. I am too, kinda. He said if shouldn't feel lonely because Im different, because I have my family, and now him (also Implied i should find god).
He's a conservative catholic with a wife and kids, I can tell he doesn't mean it in a weird way. He probably means well. But it's odd that he's acting like a mentor when I've only known him for a month.
Now, I thought this chat wouldn't affect me but he psychoanalysed me and it felt like he saw right through me while treating me like his therapist. I also think he's a lonely man who is projecting, seeing my potential and "what could've been" for himself.
How do I cope? I don't want this to affect me, but it pushed me terribly off axis. I felt pigeonholed, more than anything, and also feel bad for him.
WELP. Okay, first of all, I want to reinforce that this is NOT your fault and that it clearly creeped you out to the point where you decided to ask someone for help, all of which means that the situation is not okay and he does NOT have the right to do any of this -- whether forcing emotional intimacy on you after a very short time, suggesting that you Find Jesus and/or convert, hinting that he wants to "mentor" you, or whatever. Just because he's a conservative Catholic is no guarantee that it won't get creepier (indeed, often the total opposite) and even if it wasn't sexual or didn't feel sexual at the moment, that is... wrong. He should not have done it. He does not have the right to decide He Is Now Your Mentor and to push that connection on you. Even if it was not conscious or intentional grooming behavior, it is... squicky to say the least, showed that he was willing to push boundaries with you right away, and is certainly something that should make you cautious of any more uncontrolled or one-on-one interaction with him. So yeah. Gross. "Now you have me so you won't be lonely"??? Sorry, there is no scenario in which I can imagine that being an okay thing for a professor to say to a student. No. It may be that he just doesn't have a good sense of social boundaries or appropriate behavior, but that also doesn't mean you need to excuse it.
Next, if you can switch to another section or class so you don't have to spend the year with him, that might be worth looking into. If you can't, then obviously minimize the time you spend one-on-one (if there are office hours or if you need help with the class, maybe ask your peers or the TA if there is one, rather than him) and remember that you can tell people at your university if it continues to creep you out, not just me. There are procedures in place at most institutions to document this kind of interaction if it continues to cross a line (I don't know where you are in the world, but in the university where I work in the US, there's an office of Title IX, which deals with these kinds of issues). Older male academics smarming up to young female students and telling them they're "special" happens a lot, unfortunately, and while it doesn't always end terribly, it is something that you deservedly flagged as weird and which you should keep an eye on going forward. I'm sorry that you've experienced this and once again offer my support in navigating this year in as un-icky a way as possible. Please remember that you do not have to apologize for or excuse yourself for making choices to get out of a weird situation that clearly threw you for a loop, and you do not have to put up with this behavior if it continues or gets worse. Good luck.
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Stucky Recs: Holiday fics
December is here, so I've gathered twelve holiday Stucky fics to make this rec post for all of you. They're all perfect for reading under a blanket with the warm beverage of your choice.
Canon Holiday fics
❄️Paper tree | Ellessey | Explicit | 21,391 words
I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like pre-war fluff always has this extra softness to it, even more, somehow, than even the softest and sweetest of AUs. It just hits different. This wonderfully warm and feel-good holiday fic is such a perfect example of what I mean. Steve and Bucky are so sweet to, and about, each other in this fic, and I adore it. This one is also broken up into scenes that happen on different days as December goes on. I always enjoy that sort of formatting so much in a holiday fic, and, in this case, it also gives a whole month of delightful, endearing, and lovely pre-war moments.
Quote:
"It's a different taste, though! I want the authentic Mallo experience, in drink form."
"It's coconut. The different taste is coconut. We could make it ourselves."
Bucky's face lights up, and Steve adds another thing to his mental list of ways he can make those blue eyes get all happy and bright. He thinks about how many things he's not good at, how many things are so hard for him, but seem easy for everyone else with their perfectly functioning hearts, lungs, ears, and eyes.
And he thinks about how easy it's always been for him to make Bucky happy. Doesn't even seem like he has to try, but he likes to try anyway.
He drops another marshmallow in his own mug, and two in Bucky's, and thinks he could probably spend the whole rest of his life just trying and trying and trying.
❄️On the other end of the line | velleities | Teen | 9,385 words |
So, okay, only the last part of this fic takes place on Christmas. This fic does go through the rest of the year, too. But I feel like the Christmas-set resolution is significant enough to make this one solidly a holiday fic. It's also a gorgeous fic. It's a Post-TWS recovery fic that makes plenty of time for how not-okay Steve is, something I always really appreciate. Like I said, this fic takes them through a year, a Bucky-recovery year, and the growth and rediscovery of their relationship in that year is so well done. It's sometimes heartbreaking and sometimes sweet and always beautiful. I know calling a 9k fic a slow burn is debatable, so I won't say this is a slow burn. But I will say, that by the time this fic is done, these two have really earned their happy and romantic resolution.
Quote:
He can’t hold up a conversation. He doesn’t want Bucky to go – he craves his company – but he’s too drained to think of anything to say. He resorts to just feeling pitiful for himself, breathing in and out and listening to Bucky breathing in and out in return.
“D’you want to hang up?” Bucky asks gently.
“No,” Steve says hurriedly.
“Okay.”
Twenty minutes later, Steve is slowly drifting into sleep.
“Steve?”
“Mm?” Steve mumbles into the phone, cradling it as if cradling Bucky.
“G’night.”
“G’night, Buck,” he manages drowsily.
Steve somehow sleeps through the night.
❄️I got that good thing for you | canistakahari | Explicit | 5,830 words
You know that correct version of things where, these days, Steve and Bucky live in a nice brownstone in Brooklyn? And awful things have stopped happening to Bucky? And the events of Infinity War and Endgame definitely never occurred? And Steve and Bucky are really happy and super in love? Right. This fic happens in that world, and I love it. This is just so cozy and domestic. It's so low-stakes and so romantic. It's a holiday fic, and it's a fic about just how much Steve loves both making Bucky happy and seeing Bucky happy. It's also a fic about Bucky wanting to get the aesthetic exactly right for a specific sex fantasy. And honestly? They deserve that. We, as a fandom, deserve that. This fic is a joy.
Quote:
“I’ve spent a lot of time looking at pictures of other people's Christmas lights.” Bucky extricates himself from his blanket nest and walks right up to Steve, puts a hand on his chest, and kisses him firmly on the mouth. He is solid and soft at the same time, his hair carrying the faint scent of wood smoke and cold air from the tree farm.
“I'll get your lights,” mumbles Steve against his lips.
Bucky grins. “Yeah. I’ll make you cookies.”
Oh. Oh, Steve didn’t realize it was a trade. It doesn’t have to be, but Bucky is offering. “What kind?”
“Whatever kind you want,” says Bucky. He slides his hands down Steve’s chest, fingers tucked into the top of Steve’s jeans. “Even if you want nuts in them.”
Steve cocks his head. Bucky doesn’t make cookies often, but whenever he does, Steve counts every single one of his blessings. Bucky will eat two or three and then leave the rest to Steve to devour, which he does, often within the first twelve hours of them appearing. The whole batch.
❄️Home is the Human Heart | aimmyarrowshigh @aimmyarrowshigh | Teen | 3,194 words
This fic parallels two years: one in during the post-TWS recovery era and one when Steve and Bucky are young. The scenes go back and forth between the two years in a way that really sets this fic's tone. It's beautifully done, and there's a touch of a really lovely bittersweetness that never takes away from the warmth, joy, or hopefulness of this fic. I also really, really love how Steve goes about things, with and for Bucky, in the current era scenes. Also! This fic has a line near the end that hit me hard when I first read it and that I still think about all the time.
Quote:
Rachel crawls out from under the table. Bucky gets the jar of pennies he and Becca have been collecting for the last year, and Becca gets the dreidel. Rachel’s eyes go wide at the sight of all the money. There’s probably fifty cents clanking around in the jar.
“Steve, d’you remember how to play?” Bucky asks.
“Of course.” Steve sounds affronted. “How many years’ve I been losing to you, ya lousy cheat?”
“You can’t cheat at dreidel,” Bucky says, laughing. “Punk.”
“Jerk.”
“I don’t know how!” Rachel says. She kicks Bucky’s knee under the table. “I wanna play!”
❄️Two strangers in the bright lights | Claudia_flies | Explicit | 7,348 words
Listen, listen. It's a holiday fic! It's a post-TWS recovery fic! It's a tower fic! It's a fake dating fic! It's a damn delight, and you should read it. The love-struck, dopey-eyed, total disaster about each other, antics happening throughout this fic are just wonderful, truly. Bucky spends about 85% of this fic practically on Steve's lap . To make the fake dating look real and fool the other Avengers, of course. (Obviously, we need to do it this way, Steve! It has to be convincing, Steve!) And Steve spends about 85% of this fic absurdly happy about Bucky doing just that, and also noticing that doing these things seems to make Bucky happy, and then being even happier because Bucky is happy — but then not examining that too closely, because, you know, Bucky is clearly just really good at this plan and super committed to it. A joy of a fic that's so much fun to read.
Quote:
Steve finds the tablet discarded among the multitude of cushions on the couch while waiting for their new French press to finish brewing, and as soon as he touches the screen, it opens on a web page titled ‘10 Cute Holiday Winter Dates To Go On With Your Boyfriend’ written in an obnoxiously cutesy script.
The first one on the list is ice skating, and the next one is decorating the tree together. Each bullet point is accompanied by a cheap stock photo and some inane text about why this particular date is suitable for a cute winter romance.
Gently, Steve closes the tablet and carefully places it back where he found it.
He pours the coffee into two matching mugs and carries them into the still-dark bedroom. Bucky mumbles something resembling a “thank you” from underneath several pillows and most of the covers as Steve places the steaming cup on his bedside table.
Steve smiles and climbs back into the bed, sitting up against the headboard with his coffee and a book.
It’s probably the most perfect Sunday morning he’s had in a lifetime.
❄️(I'll be home for Christmas) if only in my dreams | crinklefries | Teen | 13,728 words
A 5+ 1 that looks at 5 earlier holidays, but starts and ends on the current one, one that Steve and Bucky are spending together, in Wakanda. It's an emotional gut punch of a fic, in the best and most satisfying of ways. I love the holidays this fic chooses to showcase, the little stories it chooses to tell, and the moments it chooses to share. I love the wonderfully sweet holiday tradition it creates for Steve and Bucky. I love the way that tradition becomes something that is so important and so meaningful that they're able to keep it, even when it should have been impossible. Really gorgeous stuff.
Quote:
For the first time since his capture, Bucky feels safe.
They’re in a fucking goddamn ditch killing fucking goddamn Nazis on fucking goddamn Christmas, but Bucky can hear Steve’s heart beat, strong and steady under his ear, and he feels safe.
Maybe because it’s Christmas day, but there are no shots fired. It’s mostly quiet, the group of them in their respective ditches, tensed, just waiting. Someone--Dugan, he thinks, or maybe Gabe Jones--starts singing a Christmas song and then the rest of the start singing too. Steve’s never had much of a singing voice, but he tries and Bucky tries not to smile.
AU Holiday Fics
☃️'tis the damn season | chicklette | Explicit | 4,625 words
A fic about a Steve and Bucky who grew up together, were together as teenagers, and who, if they're being honest, have been in love their whole lives. But they're adults now, and they refuse to hold each other back. This a general premise that comes up decently often in Stucky AUs, and I'm typically into it for them. I can see these two and their stubborn, self-sacrificing ways, each deciding that they were the thing stopping the other from a goal/plan/the general idea of growing up. It's a very specific sort of exes-to-lovers story, and it leads to a very specific feelings reveal, one that's not "I'm in love with you," but instead, "I've never gotten even a little bit over you." It's something that can work so well for these two, sometimes, and this fic is an example of it being done just absolutely gorgeously. It's warm and painful and sexy all at once — until its wonderfully romantic resolution.
Quote:
Steve’s hair is a little long on top, and he’s rocking a scruffy beard, and fuck him for looking so goddamned good.
It isn’t fair, Bucky thinks, mixing the drink. It isn’t fair that he looks so fucking good, that he looks exhausted and stressed out and kind of sad, and he’s still the best thing Bucky’s ever seen.
It isn’t fair that Steve shows up every year at Christmas and it is Christmas, it’s a fucking gift and Bucky looks forward to it all damn year, but this year there was a little dread too because every year it takes him a little longer to let go.
☃️I've got a lot to pine about | cable-knit-sweater @cable-knit-sweater | Mature | 6,113 words
I just love a fic about people who are having Totally Very Casual sex, and who are both convinced they are the only person in this situation who has developed feelings. A fic about people who are pining while actively hooking up. 10/10. Great trope. This fic is that trope, used at Christmas, and it's wonderful. There are so many feelings! There are ridiculously cute seasonal activities! There are sweet holiday gestures! There are two absolute idiots in love, being painfully obvious about how in love they are — while both being certain, just completely convinced, that the other is definitely only here for the casual sex! There is a romantic holiday resolution! Just a complete delight.
Quote:
Once they get there, though, he forgets about his worries and actually has a good time. There’s a small Christmas market, a stall with hot chocolate and apple cider, and he’s surrounded by his friends. Even Steve seems to be feeling a little better about the whole festive season, and Bucky likes to think he played a hand in that.
What makes it all even better is that Steve is wearing the earmuffs Bucky bought him. He looks ridiculously cute, like Bucky’d expected. The fact that Nat tells Steve he looks cute and makes him blush and grumble a little annoyedly, makes it absolutely perfect.
At some point, he doesn’t get away with just staying on the sidelines and sipping his hot chocolate, and Steve drags him onto the ice. He must notice how Bucky is a little nervous.
“I’ll hold your hand?” Steve offers. “I’ll make sure you don’t fall. I got you.”
☃️If Only in My Dreams | odetteandodile | Teen | 28,317 words
A holiday rom-com. A joy. Sweet, trope-filled, funny, and so very romantic. This fic has a Hallmark Channel-worthy premise in the most fun and most wonderful way. I am a firm supporter of Steve and Bucky getting to have a rom-com life. Instead of, you know, the relentless tragedy of canon. I also really enjoy that, unlike many actual Hallmark Movies, the central conflict continuing to be a conflict throughout the fic is completely believable and understandable. And then, when we get to the end, it's all resolved in such a satisfying (and romantic! and lovely!) way.
Quote:
He’s been so good today, so laser-focused on taking Sam’s advice to heart and throwing his all into his work—into cementing this dream he’s been working toward for nearly three years. It was steadying to apply himself to the tangible things he could make and do, utterly rooted in reality.
But the thing is—Steve is real. He may look like a fantasy somebody invented to torture Bucky this week, but he’s a flesh-and-blood person. And he’s looking back at Bucky like Bucky is the dream guy.
Bucky doesn’t make a move to step any closer. All of his words and common sense have abandoned him. So he just stands with his heart hammering foolishly against his ribs at the edge of the room.
Steve doesn’t look away. But after a moment he squares his shoulders and stands, his full height and broad chest emphasized under the cut of his uniform, light glinting off the medals and ribbons on his coat.
☃️Whose arms will hold you | biblionerd07 | Gen | 10,843 words
The first of two fics on this list to feature a holiday road trip home from college, a snowstorm, and, yes, only one bed. This one is a meet-cute, and wow, is it cute. Seriously, this fic is just so, so very sweet. When I was pulling this list together, I quickly reread over this fic and hit a moment that made my breath catch when I remembered what was about to happen. It's a moment that made me think, "Oh god, that's right. This is that fic!" And then my heart did a fluttery thing. Also, we've got an alive and well Sarah Rogers in this one, and the conversations Steve has with her are just as lovely and delightful as everything else about this fic.
Quote:
"I didn't realize you were trying to impress me."
"Why wouldn't I be?" James says, arching an eyebrow in a way that makes Steve's stomach lurch a little. Is James flirting with him? He can feel his cheeks heating up a little. James is apparently oblivious to his internal turmoil, because he goes to his duffel and roots around. He emerges with a pack of cards.
"Wanna play?"
Steve doesn't know how to play poker. But James doesn't know how to play gin, so they're sort of at an impasse until Steve says,
"Well…what about Go Fish?"
And that's how two grown college-students end up playing Go Fish on a dusty motel bedspread, eating apple pie that tastes a little old but not terrible.
☃️Not the same river at my fingertips | giselleslash | Expicit | 11,021 words
And now the second road-trip-home-from-college-for-the-holidays (but then a snowstorm! And a motel room!) fic on my list. This one is not a random ride-share meet-cute. This one is about a Steve and Bucky who had a one-night stand years ago, and who haven't stopped thinking about each other since. But: miscommunication. So they're both pretty sure the other has never given them a second thought. But it's fine because they're both totally okay about that. They're very mature about it, okay? They can handle this road trip without any weird tension. They definitely won't make things worse by talking about the thing where they're each convinced the other doesn't like spending time with them. And the combination of the tension, the memory of their one-night stand, and the fact that they're both, actually, obsessed with each other will absolutely not lead to anything at all when they have to get a motel room to wait out a snowstorm. Not even when there is, of course, only one bed.
Quote:
“You’ve brought me a truly beautiful feast.”
Bucky laughed at that and Steve instantly felt a hundred percent warmer than he had before. Even Bucky’s fucking laugh was sexy.
It was horrible.
Bucky had slipped off his boots and grabbed two of the plastic cups from the small tray that held them and an ice bucket.
“Gimme,” he said as he waved his fingers at the bottle of tequila Steve still had clutched in his hand for some reason.
He handed over the tequila and Bucky crawled onto the bed with it. He sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed and patted the mattress next to him.
“Bring the food and hop on,” he said.
Steve got the food containers and did just that.
Bonus:
⛄Here Comes Santa Claus | AidaRonan | Explicit | 6,755 words
So, as I've mentioned before, I hesitate to include recs for fics that are primarily smut (and very, very little plot) on these themed rec lists. Mostly because primarily smut fics are just sorta their own thing. That is a theme. But. I'm making an exception, because truly, you guys, here in Stucky we've got fics for so many scenarios. There is just fic for a seemingly endless amount of scenarios. For instance, there's this one. It's Santa Steve fic about, well, Steve, as Santa (but looking like Steve!), repeatedly visiting (an adult!) Bucky on Christmas, and it eventually leading to sex in Santa's sleigh. And, really, I've gotta say, I love that for us. I love that this fic exists. So I felt like I had to include it with these holiday recs. Even if it very much is primarily smut.
Quote:
“You’re standing under the mistletoe,” Bucky says, and Steve looks up.
“Huh. How ‘bout that,” he says, before going back to his work. “What’s the rule if you’re under the mistletoe alone? Jerk off?”
“Jesus, are you allowed to talk like that?”
“I can talk however the fuck I want.”
“Pretty harsh language from Santa Claus.”
“Language is a construct like time and gender. And ‘fuck’ is really fun to say. Harsh consonants. So satisfying.” Santa slides a small gift box between branches in the tree. “Besides, no one but you is awake to hear me.”
Happy holidays!
Fic Rec Series
#SteveBucky#Stucky fic#Stucky fic rec#Holiday fic#Fic Recs#fic rec series#Me rambling about other people's writing
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Jungkook: Lacrymaria olor
(Intro)
In which you've survived on this foreign planet for more than two years until you're caught and brought to the King, who will decide your fate.
Tags/Warnings: Alien AU, Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, Angst, Blood and Violence, Strangers to I don't know?
Additional Chapter Warnings: Brief mention of vomiting, mentions of homelessness, Jungkook's entire attitude is a warning
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The strong winds on this planet aren't something you're unfamiliar with.
After all, you've been living in the shadows here for more than three years? Maybe more. But it's hard to count the time when first of all, society here doesn't even use the same measurements you're used to for time, and second of all, you don't have a clock or a calendar. You can always only guess, but at the end of the day, time isn't something that concerns you much anyways. Food, shelter, safety; those were things to really worry about.
As a human on this planet, there's not much to do. Most jobs require way more strength than a humans could bring to the table, and even then, it's not very lucrative in the eyes of most employers here, since they won't be able to work long-term anyways. Most humans won't even willingly live here anyways- too stuck in their believe that earth can still be saved, even though with all the nuclear disasters happening years ago, you're sure that it's not looking too great back home.
Home.
It's an odd word, something that has changed meaning for you ever since coming here. You had snuck onto a cargo shit sent from the Temian government to provide at least some help with food and water, an accident mostly, really. You'd tried to help your friend get onto the ship to find her family on a different planet- but she never showed up, and you had had to face the decision of either getting caught, or staying hidden.
Needless to say, you at least never got caught.
Once you really learned to describe 'home' differently for yourself, Temia's wildlife and nature wasn't that unwelcoming any longer. Home at this point was more a feeling than a place, and so, you could feel at home wherever, whenever, really. Just like now- asleep under an odd growing tree's roots, giving you shelter from the harsh winds of Temia. Another year must've passed- or cycle, as they call it here. It's not quite a year, but it brings you comfort to compare certain similarities to earth every now and then.
You know you're sick. Or at least, something must be wrong with your body.
It happens occasionally, considering you sleep and live basically outside exposed to the elements most of the time. And while you've somewhat grown accustomed to it, you're still just human. And you're basically living illegally on this planet, something you're instantly reminded of as soon as you hear the movement around you, clattering of armor making it clear what's going on.
Soldiers, police, whatever you want to call it- they're on the hunt again, and you're sure that this time, you won't be able to escape them.
It had only been a matter of time after all. You know that Temians are way better at reading tracks, and at this point, just burying your leftovers from last night's scraps you had for dinner, probably didn't help at all in covering your existence in the woods. And it's true- because as soon as you see the boots in front of you, you know you're done for.
You're basically carried into the massively huge room, colorful tiles on the floor cold underneath your bare feet as soon as the guards put you down. You know not to look up, you know just to stay quiet. There's no use in arguing, or begging at all with a being such as a Temian. They're well aware of their abilities, and their power over the human race. "We have responded to the worries of the citizens at Myenven, your highness." A guard next to you states, and you swallow.
Of course you'd be brought here.
"She was found in the Woods, where you had ordered us to search for another time." Another guard says, and you can hear someone up front moving, chains clattering melodically against one another, sound of leather creaking distinctively. You can't see if there's someone there, you can only assume. "Just like we said, we took care of the issue, and found the parasite cutting down the trees in the area. She is also suspected to have stolen the produce of local farmers."
Only a hum is heard from whoever they're talking to, before the person chuckles.
"So you're telling me this.. Creature of earth.." he looks down where they made you kneel, eyes dark and calculating as he continues his words, "has survived on it's own, with no assistance of anyone, for more than a cycle? And not even the government noticed?" Jungkook questions, while the guard nods.
"Of course we will send her back to the planet she originates from-" the man says, though everyone's surprised and admittedly startled when the usually stoic man starts to laugh, entire body moving to present itself as more or less welcoming.
"Oh absolutely not!" he says instead of agreeing with the guard, clapping his hands once. "She shall stay. I'll sign any paperwork needed- no need to fly her out to her rotting planet." he says, making you look up at him for the first time as the guard let's go of your neck. "Though under one circumstance.." he tells you, standing up to walk down and kneel on one knee only, fingers lifting your chin with a firm but non-threatening grip.
"You'll stay right where I can see you from now on." he smirks, and you're not sure if you should be even more scared now, or glad that he leaves you alive after all of this. "Hm." He studies you for a moment, deep cherry red eyes scanning your features while his hand moves your face around for him to better inspect. "I have seen a couple of humans in my life. None of them ever looked this.. hm." He leans in, making you even more nervous now- is he sniffing you?! "I always forget how.. fragile you beings are." He leans back again, giving you a bit of space, before he stands up, snapping his fingers while he walks back to what you assume is his throne. "Send a healer that knows something about humans to my chambers. You're dismissed." He says, picking up a burgundy coat of some sorts, before he laughs to himself when he spots you trying to stand up as well. "Not you." He says, before he walks back towards you.
Something that's surprising to you is not the slightly arrogant attitude- most Temians act this way- but the way he doesn't at all seem upset at your illegal stay on his planet. Well, it's not his.. he just rules parts of it, but still. One might argue that back on earth, people would be a lot more upset at you for doing what you did.
You're unprepared for the heavy fabric being thrown over your shoulders, forcing you to almost fall flat face first onto the colorful tiles below, causing the king to laugh at you. "Ah, you're truly adorable, really!" he claps, before he picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder together with the for you heavy fabric. You instantly try to lift yourself up against his back, well aware that you'll throw up the rest of your food in just a few steps if you let yourself dangle down like that. "Hm? Oh, I guess that might not be comfortable.." He says more or less to himself, adjusting your position to hold you properly with both arms in front of him.
He's right. This is a lot more comfortable.
"You seem confused." He wonders, and you nod. "You can talk. I'm not stuck-up like my brothers." He tells you, though you don't even know what his brothers would have to do with this.
"I guess I.. don't know why you're being so okay with me.. basically living in your kingdom illegaly." You say, and he simply laughs to himself, shaking his head.
"If I wanted you gone, I would've hunted you down myself moons ago." He says, and you're not sure if that should worry you, or make you feel at ease.
"So you knew I was out there the whole time?" You ask, and he nods.
"Not the entire time, but I've figured a thief who just steals produce we feed to our livestock might be a human, considering the food you're able to eat differs from my kind's." he explains to you, before he opens a door, and sets you down to your feet. As soon as he stands in front of you he snorts in amusement, looking down at where you look up at him. "Say, how old are you? You smell like a mature human, but I'm always unsure how to guess ages with how short you all are." He chuckles. "I have a friend, his name is Jimin, and he's a human too. Older than me! But he's so short he doesn't even reach my shoulder, can you believe that?" He laughs, taking a blanket from a sofa of some sorts before he places other pillows differently, patting the seat once he finished his task.
"I.. uh.. I'm twenty.. four? I don't have a good feeling of time, so I'm not sure." You say.
"So you're similar in age too! Very interesting." He nods, before you sit down next to him- struggling a bit, since the couch stands pretty high off the ground for you. It's an action that seems to amuse him yet again- until the door opens, his entire demeanor immediately changing into one that reminds you of the more aggressive side of his kind.
His eyes seem to glow for a second, arm reaching over you as a low growling sound escapes his throat- but all just for a small second, before the King rolls his eyes, relaxing again. "My my Jungkook, barely got a pet and already possessive over it." A man says, before walking in. "One might think after all those years you would've become more.. generous." The man says, setting down a box of equipment.
"I'm a very generous ruler Namjoon, you should know this best most of all." He says, crossing his arms. "After all, I let you keep Jimin."
"Jimin decided himself that he wanted to stay with me." The man you now know as Namjoon says, as he shakes his head. "That aside however, I believe you called me here for a reason?" He wonders, looking at you.
Jungkook watches you encouragingly, motioning towards his friend to signal you to talk. "I uh.. I think I might have upset my stomach or something. I'm not sure. I've been feeling sick for a few days now." You explain, and the man nods.
"Let's see what might be the problem then, shall we?" He says. "Don't worry. I have a human companion myself, so I am very much knowledgeable in human health." He reassures, before he continues his task.
It's all fun and dandy until Namjoon starts to examine your breathing, hand on your chest as he visibly concentrates on his job. "Do you have to touch her this much?" Jungkook grumbles next to you, legs and arms crossed, a clearly irritated look on his face as his eyes glow a little. "Or do you just want to piss me off?"
"Maybe a bit of both?" Namjoon chuckles, before he lets go of you. "Don't worry, I'm done now. You might want to look after her for a bit though, as she's not in optimal health currently." He explains, leading to Jungkook's entire demeanor becoming more the one of a confused puppy than an angry king. "Nothing too major, but you might want to make sure she properly hydrates and eats food suitable for her." He advises, before getting up. "Other than that, congrats on catching her, I guess." He smiles, before waving, and leaving the room.
"Don't worry." Jungkook says next to you after the door closes, leaving you alone with him again- and the look he gives you is both friendly and also unnerving, smirk exposing his sharpened canine teeth, gaze that of a clear predator as he watches you with a tilted head. "I'll take good care of you from now on."
#bts fanfic#bts fic#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook imagine#jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook imagines#alien jungkook#alien!jungkook#bts x reader#bts imagine#bts imagines
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stormlight au number 35 (help me i'm lost in the sauce)
Jasnah, Dalinar, and Renarin (surviving Kholin Radiants) travel from End of World all the way to right after Gavilar's death.
Vengeance pact still happens, but plays out very differently. We don't need absolutely every man in the kingdom to join the army, alright Elhokar? And we're making sure Dalinar is there to accept their surrender, actually win in reasonable time frame and 'conquer' them (no Alethi want to live out there anyway, and as long as they send gemhearts in tribute we won't enslave them. actually elhokar, your sister wanted to talk to you about slavery—).
Honestly, just an excuse for:
A) Adolin to have a breakdown that his entire family has been replaced by voidbringers, before eventually accepting with relief that they're still his family, they've just become voidbringers, but its ok because he loves them and will protect their increasingly heretical actions with his life. Hugs his glowing red and green eyed little brother a lot.
Adolin: do I — should I also learn to read?
Jasnah: do you want to?
Adolin: not really, no.
Renarin: to be honest, it's probably for the best if you just focus on being, well, a good Vorin Alethi. One of us probably should be, if we don't have a desolation as a distraction.
Adolin: ok! sure! I can do that. Also thought id mention that if possible, I would personally appreciate *not* having a desolation.
Jasnah: it may prove necessary.
Adolin: I know, i know. Just thought I'd put my feelings out there.
Dalinar: and we'll need you to produce Kholin heirs. Neither Renarin or Jasnah are likely to, and I'm not remarrying a younger woman.
Adolin: Sounds good!
B) Kholin family to have way too strong a reaction to this random darkeyed surgeon in training when they visit Kharbranth, scaring the absolute shit out of said darkeyed surgeon. Adolin walks into a wall when he sees Kaladin. He doesn't even know about the Radiant thing, it's just that
C) Kaladin dresses really hot in this au. Ok. I lied. this is actually the main reason for this au. It — there's a whole chain of events. I – don't look at me like that. The character development works, alright?
A lot of it boils down to distracting people from groping the female medical trainees.
He realizes that breathing in a certain way, while it makes you focus better and move faster, it also makes you more...present somehow? people pay attention to you, for better or worse. Some of the ladies teach him that there are different ways to channel people's focus on you, if they're looking anyway.
And apparently, for the first few years Kharbranth medical students, light and dark eyed alike, have basically no protections from wealthy patients or Lighteyed chief's of staff who are a bit too interested in teaching you to use your safehand, and its not like Kaladin can challenge them to a duel - he doesnt know how to fight, and it would get him and the person hes trying to protect kicked out of the program. So much for honorable lighteyes being real.
But I mean. If wearing some eyeliner, and a gemstone in your hair, if taking your right glove off first after an exam, conspicuously leaving the left on while talking, if bending over to pick his clipboard up in a certain way... if it gets people to not focus on his friends...
...one could probably get pretty angsty with this concept, ngl.
The Stormlight understanding and oaths come in time. There might also be some Radiant Disguise Superhero hijinks, havent fully decided but it's not really a major stretch from canon to say that Kharbranth struggles with violent crime. Also Kaladin gets to learn about institutional racism in school. It's great. I have a lot of Kaladin thoughts but so does everyone in this au so its ok.
Kholins visit Kharbranth:
Jasnah: you've been moping for days. Is your new fixation of the week not responding to your advances?
Adolin: I don't want to talk about it
Dalinar: son, you've clearly been in a mood—
Adolin: look, I'm not — the individual is not suitable for my station, alright? I'm not courting someone I could never actually marry, because that would be stupid.
Jasnah: while it would complicate matters, you know your brother and I have plans to alter the alethi codes around eye color, considering they're clearly a crude derivative of radiant mythologization
Dalinar: I thought we agreed that was low on the priority list
Jasnah: You said that uncle, Renarin most certainly did not agree, and his arguments are sound
Adolin: He's just some surgeon, alright! He's not just darkeyed, he's a darkeyed man. I said I'll get over it! I always do.
Dalinar: ah.
Jasnah: ...did you say surgeon?
Adolin: Yes? Why?
Dalinar: why does it —
Jasnah: how did you meet?
Adolin: He was — he was with this group of women at a winebar, and he was dressed like – but it turned out he just goes to protect them from - and it was so — why are you asking me about this?
Dalinar: Oh! A darkeyed surgeon. Protecting, you say? He sounds...honorable.
Jasnah: Very honorable.
Adolin: He is! He volunteers at this house for injured soldiers, and you wouldn't believe he'd never been to war, I mean his spear Katas — he's – it's like he was born for it —
Dalinar: He sounds like a fine young man. Perhaps you should bring him to meet us.
Adolin: I — while I appreciate that father, I really do, I thought I was the one who was supposed to well. I mean my role in...all of this is to produce heirs and look proper, right?
Jasnah: Hm. when you put it it that way...
Dalinar: I mean, Navani and I might be able to...
Jasnah: Don't be ridiculous. I'm perfectly capable of producing a child, should it prove absolutely necessary,
Adolin: Jasnah?
Jasnah: Provided the man you're courting is of worthy quality.
Adolin: We're not — I haven't been courting! I didn't think it was an option! I don't even know if he's interested! From what I can tell he has people throwing themselves at his feet all the time!
Jasnah: An abnormally honorable darkeyed surgeon, natural warrior, magnetically charismatic personality...yes that might make a worthwhile addition to the family.
Dalinar: I can write to Elhokar at once, recommend that he and Aseuden —
Jasnah: Uncle we've been over this — this is exactly the sort of thing that led to me insisting you come with me on this trip! If we cripple his ability to lead—
Adolin: Are we — are we moving into the discussing the future part of the evening, because I can go guard the door—
Dalinar: wait, when you say produce a child, you don't mean through soulcasting, right?
Jasnah: I don't see why I should answer that question.
Adolin: Yeah, i'm just going to go guard the door now
#stormlight archive#my au#stormlight au#nevertheless cosmere#stormlight au no 35#adolin kholin#just to be clear adolin fully believes his family is voidbringers now he's just ride or die#they kept the time travel thing secret at first and then when he hysterically confronted them they explained kind of badly.#Dalinar: we're not—well technically we are the voidbringers. but that term is widely misunderstood!#and once Adolin was convinced they were still the same people he stopped asking religious questions
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Okay okay youve awakend brain worms in me, hear me out:
Sanji escaping the dungeon a few weeks earlier causing him to be in the grandline instead of east blue and meeting none other than ✨Robin✨ maybe sanjis somehow being hunted by germa or smth so theyre both on the run and they make a pact to help each other (which is rocky at first cause they both have hella trust issues) but slowly opening up to each other more and more and being each others only trust person...
Idk!! Im reallt loving all your different sanji situations especially since i see him as a barbie character (he has so many jobs!! Lmao) and ive always loveedd his friendship with Robin since i imagine them both having a bit of a morbid humour
Fuck that's good. That's so fucking good ommmggggg.
17 year old Nico Robin picking up a starved and beaten 8 year old Sanji. Both of them flinching at touch no matter how kind or anything. After a year they're probably close and sharing beds/blankets/stuff like that. Doesn't mean it's not hard or anything. Sanji suffers from nightmares every night and is running on very little sleep most of the time. Robin doesn't know how to comfort him at first because sometimes when he wakes up it's straight into a panic attack.
Robin explains Ohara and the buster call, Sanji explains Germa and his issue with bugs from the mask. Robin pulls this impossibly tiny child to her and holds him as they both cry. This is the first time they really touch each other without flinching and such. If they're running from Cipher Pol or the marines or even Aokiji Robin makes sure to always hold the younger's hand. Makes sure to keep him with her at all times.
They spend a lot of time traveling and reading and Sanji gets better at cooking and feeding them and Robin only gets smarter. Sanji gets a bounty as well, guilty by association and the theft and everything else. He's got to have a name like Robin does but I don't know what.
Eventually they wind up in Alabasta working under Crocodile. Ms. All Sunday and Mr. Prince are excellent workers, highly skilled and still able to do what they love. I imagine Robin also taught Sanji to read the poneglyphs in case she dies. Sanji tells her about the All Blue. They have a pact with each other, if one dies the other will try to fulfill the other's dream. It's a lot of weight on their shoulders. Ohara and Germa, the government, the history they have.
When they ask to join the Strawhat crew Luffy lets them when he finds out Sanji can cook and Robin is an archeologist. They don't mesh well at first. Zoro trusts them on the Captain's word but he picks fight with Sanji because he doesn't use weapons and he and Robin are on edge.
When they run into Aokiji he looks at Sanji and Robin. Aokiji mentions off handedly that Sanji's bounty might be getting updated. They leave and Enies Lobby happens and Robin and Sanji are tense. They just are. It probably falls apart and Sanji says it should have been both of them at once because that way they wouldn't have hurt the crew twice, Robin agrees. Luffy yells at both of them for that, saying that they are apart of his crew and won't let them leave until they're dreams are accomplished.
Skipping ahead to WCI Robin goes with Luffy instead of Nami. Robin is dead set on bringing up what happened in Enies Lobby against Sanji because how dare there be a double standard. Even when she finds out they have Cipher Pol over them again. Then she finds out about the cuffs.
How dare Judge and Big Mom? How fucking dare they. Those are his hands, his greatest treasures and tools. Sanji explains that he wants to save his family and they do, Robin doesn't like it because she saw Sanji fresh out of the dungeon, a skeleton wrapped in paper skin covered in bruises and cuts. Robin will let Judge live but on the escape when Judge is saying that shit?
Robin pulls him close and traps him in her arms and threatens him. Devil Child Nico Robin is not one to be played with, especially when it comes to the only person she really truly trusts. So she makes it very clear that she is letting him live this time but if she sees him again? IF they even happen to be in the same town? He will be killed, it will be painful. Sanji is letting her because this is Robin's turn to be protective.
On the way to Wano they're sitting next to each other and Robin mentions that if she was allowed to she would have killed him then and there for how she found Sanji. Sanji nods and apologizes for the trouble and Robin frowns at him. Something akin to "Remember Enies Lobby?" where Sanji mutters that it still should have been both of them. Robin pulls him close and mutters that this should have been both of them too.
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Hey, I was just wondering. How do you think Ghost would realize he’s in love and do you think he would run away from it or kinda slowly embrace it? Like Medic!Reader, what was the turning point for him when he realized “oh crap, I love her”?
oooooo girl you've got me on a tangent
i think with ghost it would take a long time for him to come to terms with his feelings for someone. if there is someone he cares for, i can see him doing little things lol for them, hovering around them a little more often, checking in on them more than usual, but it could take months (probably even years) before it clicks in his head that he's not just "concerned for their safety" but actually cares for them and even longer for him to admit it out loud. i think it would probably click for him when he's out on a mission and realizes that he actually cares about making it back alive so he can see them again.
once he comes to that realization i think his initial response would be to run. whether that's through distancing himself from them, leaving on a long mission, or just straight up ignoring them. he needs time to come to terms with what he's feeling and what that means for him, but once he does....
i don't think he'd be the first to admit their feelings; he'd definitely wait until after they've confessed theirs, but all of that checking in and hovering that i mentioned above??? that but x10. he'd be v protective because this is someone that he loves cares about and he doesn't want anything to happen to them. it might even become a bit suffocating and there may even be a few fights over how much he mother-hens, but i headcannon that he's never really been in love before (maybe a few meaningless flings) so all of this is new to him and he doesn't really know how to deal with these feelings or show someone that he cares like that.
i definitely see him as a subtle-affection kinda guy so once he and his s/o come to terms with their feelings for each other and are a little more established in their relationship it's a lot of small touches, brief glances, little moments together. it's nothing that would appear out of the norm for two good friends if you were to just casually observe them but if you know what to look for, you can see just how much they care for each other.
and once they're together, he's all in. if ghost is one thing, it's loyal (i think all the 141 would be). that's his person, and he's in for the long haul until the day he dies-- and he'll try harder to be a little less self-destructive in the field cause the thought of not coming back to his person? unacceptable.
now for my medic!reader, i headcannon her and ghost as having a very long history together, with them meeting soon after ghost gets cleared for field work after roba. they don't start off as friends but there's a mutual respect for each other's abilities that over the years turns into friendship that turns into caring that turns into love. i won't go into too much detail about the exact moment ghost realizes that he more than cares for her that's for a future fic but they're on different squads so they don't see each other often and it's definitely something that clicks for him when he's not with her and he catches himself thinking of her and he has that moment of "oh, i love her....oh god no i love her". since they're apart he doesn't really have to run and he has that time to himself to figure out what he wants to do until he sees her again.
a little extra: medic!reader knew she loved him for years before he realized his own feelings, she was just waiting for him to figure it out. they're the embodiment of that trope: one fell first, but the other fell harder.
#lelevvitch#moth answers#answered#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#private
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it wouldn't surprise me that, despite sanji being the literal cook of the crew, he had an eating disorder (ofc trigger warning here for eds, child abuse, starvation and, y'know, sanji's background in general).
he experienced the most traumatic years of his life trapped inside a fucking cell, with a metal helmet around his head and only eating when his father let him. which was 'only when the kid needs it', probably. which leads to judge saying 'i couldn't even kill my son' and it can translate to 'at least i kept you alive'. and not to turn this into irl trauma, but abusive parents constantly use the 'keeping you alive and giving you food' excuse (the bare fucking minimum) to guilt trip you into thinking that they're good and that you're exaggerating how bad they treated you because, well, at least they kept you alive, didn't they?
so here, sanji sees food as a form of loving but in the sense of 'at least my dad didn't kill me. that's something'. so his vision towards food remains positive but only because of his mom. only because his love language is acts of service and his mom took everything he gave her, even if it was horrific, as a way of saying 'i love all of you. you're perfect because you tried and the fact that you brought me your food is enough to make me feel loved. you're not a mistake' despite his brothers and his father saying that he was, indeed, a mistake and weak for wanting to give food to others instead of just taking it for himself.
both ideas of 'someone who loves you wouldn't let you starve' and 'offering food to others is opening up your heart' coexist inside little sanji's brain.
so it wouldn't be crazy to think that, although sanji loves cooking and his best early memories of it are that book that kept him dreaming while he was locked up, and his mom's words, has a hard time eating food.
besides, sanji is used to giving, not taking. he's not selfish, but actually extremely generous to the point of forgetting about his own well-being. i don't think he actually thinks about how hungry he is until it hurts. until he needs it. he only ate whenever his father let him so he wouldn't starve, and the only thing that made him feel well about food was the fact that he could give it to the one he loved and needed it.
sanji doesn't have good experiences eating food, but only cooking it. it's a great representation of his personality as a whole, to be honest.
then the whole zeff thing happens, and he actually almost starves to death and learns what hunger feels like. but once again, zeff saves him and he's the one to be hungry for not letting the kid starve. which might seem similar to what judge did, but 'not letting you starve because i couldn't kill you' isn't the same as 'not letting you starve because i don't want you to die'. sanji learns the difference that day.
he didn't know somebody could be that kind. especially to him, someone who doesn't deserve it (he thinks he doesn't) because, in his house, love only came when you earned it.
and, you know, sanji's like that. sanji's selfless. sanji does everything for others. and so the guilt eats him up first. what zeff did is beautiful and amazing and we love him for it, but we don't know about how that affected sanji at a young age. which only makes him even more selfless and more of a better, kinder, generous person. and that might be bad, considering how little he thinks about himself already-
he learns that throwing away food is awful, and that you have to be grateful for being able to eat. grateful for living. so his don't-waste-food policy is obviously a big part of his personality due to almost dying of starvation and also owing his life to his dad (zeff, the real one, of course. fuck judge).
but that can almost be dangerous because refusing to waste food leads to forcing yourself to eat only because of his concept of what food means.
and then we have luffy in wci saying the whole 'i won't eat anything that you haven't cooked' which is precious and something very beautiful to say to your cook, but that only brings sanji back to 'starving is a form of loving' and 'you can't let someone you love starve'. and no matter how much he wants to force himself to push luffy away, he gives him food because he knows his captain will keep his promise.
sanji feels guilty, once again, but he ends up fixing it.
the thing is, after everything i've said, i don't think it would be weird to think about sanji viewing food as something external. something that isn't for himself. something that he only has control over because it's for others and not for himself, and it's a concept, a form of love, and not a need. because he does not feel hungry. when it comes to food, he feels responsibility and guilt and love... but never hunger.
hunger is, by all means, a form of selfishness sanji isn't used to unless his body is about to give up completely. he can eat out of pleasure and satisfaction and love for food, but he does it to train a selfless skill that may or may not also be selfish in the sense of 'wanting to be loved and useful'.
so here we have:
seeing food as a form of love because at least his dad wouldn't let him die, but he probably learned to push away the concept of hunger
seeing cooking as the most beautiful way of showing your feelings and efforts and taking care of people
not knowing the concept of hunger due to his own selflessness
scratch the first one, actually starving for others is a form of loving. he will never let the people he loves starve even if it means he dies in the process.
he can't waste food because that would be insulting and disrespectful. no matter the context.
and i'm just saying (and this whole thing is extremely self-indulgent and me projecting again and again) that it wouldn't be surprising to me if he had some issues when it comes to eating and making food for himself.
it's not that he thinks he doesn't deserve food, it's just the thought that he doesn't need it. going back to his past it could be seeing hunger as a form of weakness (not when it comes to others. never when it comes to others), both because of what his family taught him men should be like, and the fact that the manliest man he knows used starvation as a form of love.
so it's seeing hunger as something that makes you weak, but only when it comes to himself because of course, he wouldn't apply the same rules for him as for everyone else. he's just like that.
he thinks about others first, and himself second. always second. and the thought of eating and needing it only comes when it's too much. and when that time comes, the voices in his head tell him that he's weak. and again, i don't think he sees himself as undeserving of food because he has this whole thing about everybody deserving to eat. but he has never played with the same rules as the rest, always a few steps behind, so if he can't fight the thoughts in his head contradicting his morals, that's just how he is.
not to mention the 'don't waste food' part which also would make him feel guilty about not being able to eat if the thoughts of not deserving food and being weak for needing to eat become too much. he can't eat because he doesn't deserve it and because he's weak. and he can't starve, because that would mean wasting food.
so, you know, sanji is out of options here.
if some days sanji just casually decides not to eat- forgets to prepare himself a meal while his crew enjoys his food... that's just the way he is, isn't it? and if he lies about it, it's just another form of love, keeping them away from his problems.
besides, controlling hunger and controlling food is the only way he has to take control of his messy life. when something is out of reach, the unstoppable thing called life he has never been able to control, at least he can choose not to eat. he can choose to starve, this time, with the comfort of knowing he won't. he can choose not to eat this time, not like all of those times when food was controlling him instead.
at least the strawhats will never, ever, starve if he's around. but of course, nobody thinks about asking the cook if he wants to eat. that would be absurd. and it's impossible to think sanji would have some sort of issue with it! sanji, the cook, who keeps telling them not to waste food, not eating? that would be absurd and too selfless to make sense.
that's just the way he is.
#this headcanon is literally just me projecting my shit onto sanji ngl#*holds sanji gently* you've changed my life darling i love you so much please take care of yourself#why's he such a good person and why do people always treat him like shit i am violent#i swear all of this makes sense in my head#like he's a person who's always taking control of the situation only bc he feels like he can't control what he's feeling#and yknow feeling is for the weak and men aren't weak and yadda yadda yadda fuck the vinsmokes#his eating disorder is also heavily connected to his views in gender but that's for another day#tw eating disorder#sanji#black leg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#<- i hate this tag btw only using so it gets to more people bc i spent my time writing this ngl#red leg zeff#one piece#op
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Can you imagine if the Mario bros from the movie met with their game counterparts?
There’s so much potential there, if they are so similar but so different: take Mario who has grown up in Brooklyn, never felt like he was making a difference, and JUST discovered a magical world where he belongs, compared to Mario who has grown up in the mushroom kingdom, is a world wide hero doing enough feats of talent to show that he lives up to the fame in a week, and has live as a hero his whole life
Plus there’s different mechanics and story lines, imagine if one of the game Mario bros die but come back with an extra life and just act like it’s normal, what if they swap universes for a day and you have a new inexperienced Mario meets classic characters and a experienced Mario meeting a Peach who had to fill his role as the jack of all trades
I thought this was a really cool obvious idea but I haven’t seen anyone else’s take on it
It's funny you should bring it up! Because even though I've never written it down (and probably will never write it down) I've thought about a situation where Movie Mario and Game Mario suddenly switch places due to some interdimentional fluke or magic gone awry.
Both Marios are extremely confused, but they are both communicative about what happened and how– though they are Mario– something's gone wrong, and their life is suddenly very different from what they remember.
Both Luigis and Peaches help out however they can. They eventually succeed in piecing together what happened, and start forming a plan to undo the weird dimensional change and get their own Marios back.
Some possible scenes that live in my head rent-free:
Game Luigi is surprised to find himself the voice of experience for once, helping this alternate version of his big brother understand the mechanics of this new world. Game Luigi regales him with stories of all the foes they faced over the years, and Movie Mario is fascinated, amazed, and a little intimidated by it all.
Game Mario suggests he and Movie Luigi stock up on "1-ups" before they enter a dangerous situation. Movie Luigi asks "what's a 1-up?"
Game Mario thinks he's joking.
Movie Luigi is not joking.
Game Mario realizes the situation is far more dire than he thought.
Game Mario having dinner with Movie Mario's family
The moment Movie Mario lays eyes on Game Bowser he is completely on edge. His fists are raised and he's ready to throw down, already motioning for Game Luigi to get behind him.
Game Bowser very quickly decides he likes this version of Mario– a little temperamental and rightfully fearful of him.
The feeling isn't mutual.
Game Mario is startled by exactly how ruthless Movie Bowser is, and how risky fighting him is now that there are no extra lives involved. He doesn't like to show it, but he's more scared than he's ever been before. Luigi sees the fear despite Mario's attempts to conceal it, and takes a moment to comfort him.
The moment anyone is the least bit mean or condescending to Game Luigi, Movie Mario is on their case. Whether it's an enemy, a toad, or a royal representative, he makes it crystal clear that nobody is allowed to talk to Luigi like that– he doesn't care technically isn't his Luigi. Game Luigi tries to assure Movie Mario that it's fine, but Movie Mario won't hear it.
Game Mario is not quite sure what to make of Movie Peach. Of course he's protective and respectful as always, but the fact that she's so fiercely independent and an incredible fighter is not something he knows what to do with. He's been protecting her for so long...
Game Bowser and Movie Bowser would like each other at first. Then, the longer they talk, the more they rub each-other the wrong way, until eventually they're throwing fists and fire balls.
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I kinda feel like too many people aren't looking at the whole picture with Guillermo and Nandor/his family this season?
Guillermo knows, to a certain extent, that it's hurting Nandor that he's avoiding him. He just can't not avoid him because of the whole 'secretly turned by another vampire and Nandor will have to kill him then himself for the sake of his bruised honor/ego' thing.
Guillermo is also hurting though. His attempt to take some agency for himself by actively pursuing something he's wanted since before he even met Nandor has massively backfired on him in every possible way he couldn't even begin to expect. He didn't know he'd have a Weird Transformation. He didn't know there was some taboo for having another vampire turn him as Nandor's familiar (and he's not actually Nandor's familiar anymore anyway, technically, they're all just dumb and forgot that fact). He, comparatively, only recently found out about the whole Van Helsing thing and that his family can't control themselves around vampires (though I feel like it probably will be different with their Memo, if we're being honest), so he very likely thought for most of his time waiting for Nandor to turn him that he'd still be able to see them occasionally and get/give closure over a longer period of time before he had to stop seeing them when it became obvious he wasn't aging like they were.
He does care about his mom, yall, did you miss him breaking down in the elevator or were you just distracted by him breaking the hand-rail? He's just been very preoccupied with a whole lot of drama (Which he complained about! He told Nandor how upset he was that the wedding and Baby Colin were keeping him too busy to see his family! The end of season 4 was days before the start of season 5.) and an extreme life change. He's an adult. That kind of shit happens when you're an adult (granted, his situation is significantly more fantastical given the whole vampires thing but still). Sometimes you get caught up in your adult life and you miss your mom's birthday. Sometimes you make a big life change that you think is what's best for you and it means you won't be able to be as close to your family. Yes. It's selfish of him - to an extent - but for fuck's sake you can't live your life for other people, even - especially, in some cases - if those people are your family. I'm kind of appalled at people saying that he's deserving to feel bad and rejected because he made a choice for himself. Do you think his mom is blaming him as harshly as some of you are? No! The first thing she asked him was 'are you happy with this change?' She cares about her son's happiness. He's not entirely in the right but fuck do yall know how to do anything but swing hard in the other direction? There's grey areas! All in the middle! Right there, look!!
And then on top of him already being extremely emotionally compromised from reckoning with having to leave his family behind, on top of the already 'emotionally difficult' avoiding Nandor for both of their sakes, he gets another big rejection in his own home from the people he cares most about. I don't know if Nandor noticed that his rejection hurt Guillermo. He's dumb but I really don't know if he's that dumb. He's been able to recognize in the past when he's hurt Guillermo so I don't see why he couldn't now. Are yall gonna blame Memo for feeling bad if Nandor decides to do something to try and win him back or cheer him up? Or if Nandor is upset/worried about having hurt Guillermo?
I don't really know where I'm going with this anymore lmao. My point is: Yes, Guillermo's choice is hurting people but it's also hurting him and he's been hurt for a while now and hurt people hurt people (which is why Nandor lashed out too!) so cut him a little bit of slack maybe? He didn't do anything to intentionally hurt anyone he just wanted to take some agency back for himself that he's been missing for like. Ten. Thirteen years or so now.
#the dork is being a dork#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#wwdits s5 spoilers#wwdits season 5 spoilers#what we do in the shadows#what we do in the shadows spoilers#what we do in the shadows s5 spoilers#what we do in the shadows season 5 spoilers#mind i'm ALSO feeling bad for nandor#i can care about both of them at the same time#but i don't get how yall can look at memo crying in that elevator#and hear the break in his voice when he say 'well okay then' and how SAD he sounds when he responds to nandor's 'wait what?'#and think he deserves that#or that it's good for him to feel rejected from both of his families
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Lmao lol Haha funny