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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 2 years

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thank you!!! i do have high hopes for the foreseeable future hahaha you know, i felt that in budapest like everyone looks the same, everyone is white….. i missed the gender diversity, body diversity and all that. i remember after i left western europe, my first stop was rome, it was the middle of the night and we’d just jumped off at this bus stop, i remember the big exhale that left my lips the moment i spotted this group of black guys. it was so refreshing to see people of color for the first time in months. big cities like São Paulo or Mexico City scare me, not gonna lie, even dreamy New York, but the diversity you find in metropolis like that is truly unmatched.

ohhhh i’m a gate keeper of interests, i guess you could say that’s my toxic trait - in my defense hype always ruins content for me - buuut tumblr is the most low-key social media out there so what the hell. *drum roll please* the number one item on my UK bucket list is a bookstore in wigtown, scotland that’s the biggest second hand shop in the country with over 100K books for sale.

aaaaah i’m shamelessly happy and proud that i’m convincing you to pick up Caraval (fun fact: up until the middle of the book i kept calling it Carnaval instead) hahaha gotta sharpen my marketing skills if i wanna make it in publishing am i right?

hmmmm i’d never thought of it that way (surely because my love language is words of affirmation hehe) but i totally agree with you. an intertwining of fingers mid-sex can show softness in a way that sometimes authors can’t show with words. girl i think you just blew my mind a little bit HAHAHAH

i must admit i still haven’t either, i’ve seen those trashy-clearly-toxic-with-a-shirtless-guy-on-the-cover books that offer this sort of arc but what i’ve been trying to read more are books with female villains like gone girl and how to kill your family. i remember reading ACOTAR and weeping over amarantha’s arc hahaha i was soooo rooting for her, like how could i not???? she had a necklace with a human eye as a pendant!!!!! that’s the goal babe

i think - no, i know - i live in a “woke” bubble in which my best male friend shares my lip gloss with me which is why when i’m faced with this stone-age like thinking i’m just…… flabbergasted. i mean part of me just can’t believe that are still men out there who truly believe a woman belongs raising kids at home like????? but at the same time i live in a country where women are killed and raped on a daily basis. when it comes to paying stuff after seeing this tik tok i changed my mind on going dutch on a date, i mean, men generally still earn more than women so why should equality start on the bill when there’s still not on salaries. and yeah i totally see what you mean, man still want a mom who cleans the house, earns the bread and babies them at the end of the day. i’m reading what you wrote and i can’t stop thinking about this podcast i heard yesterday about heteropessimism and political lesbianism from the seventies because it’s increasingly damaging to get involved with men nowadays. also, i was talking to a friend the other day about how i don’t mind the fact that i’m in my twenties and still haven’t had a relationship because the older i get the wiser i become and the surer i get about what i want but at the same time this is all theory, my “wokeness” doesn’t shield me from gaslighting or other manipulative techniques men employ to undermine women.

yesssss it’s all such a fucking mess it’s hard not to spiral, sometimes i think it’s just a cycle, something that’s more or less happened before in history many times but at the same time the havoc wreaking out there nudges me towards hopelessness when my mental health is not up for my usual optimism

i bet you do HAHAHAH really, i don’t know why it’s so paralyzing to me to go off anon, even when i wanna praise a fic writer or just tell a blogger who did a face reveal that she’s goddess-level pretty, it’s always on anon. however, i feel comfortable enough after our exchanges to go off anon on your messages instead of your ask box soooo if you prefer that just tell me ~goodreads

Honestly, Budapest is the capital, but Pecs, where I'm from, is one of the most diverse cities because it is basically a university city. It's only functioning because of universities and uni students. There are so many different people. Doesn't matter how much I hate going back, the comfort of the diversity that I'm used to in London is the only thing that somewhat made me feel comfortable in Pecs. It's disappointing how the capital city is so "white and skinny" and Hungarian. I'm not sure if that explains it, but yeah, barely any diversity even though it's the freaking capital.

To be honest, these huge cities are scary, but once you get used to them, it's a whole new, beautiful experience. Like a culture shock in a good way if you like diversity, which you do. So many different people from different races, ethnicities, origins, cultures, sizes, religions, gender and sexuality. You can find anything in London. But I find it ridiculous that even in these big, accepting cities, the above mentioned is still experiencing horrible discrimination so many times. That is one thing that I can't get through to my head. In small cities people are more conservative, I kind of get that, they are closed off from diversity, but in big cities I'd expect more open minded people. That side of it is a disappointment. :/

I've never heard of a bookshop in Wigtown, Scotland, but I give you brownie points because it's book related xD I did check it out now but there are a few options. Do you mean this one or this one? I'm confused. o.O

Hey, publishing is not all about marketing, so don't beat yourself up. It has a human resource side or business management, operations, editing, finance etc. side, so it really depends on which side of the market you want to work at. :)

Hahah I have two main love languages which are word of affirmation and physical touch, so the lingering touches, accidental bump-ins, caressing someone's cheek, hinting a kiss on the forehead, like these make me melt. If they are executed well in the right situation, I don't even need spice, just make it perfect. But once again, it's rarely done well without at least a bit of spice. As you mentioned intertwining fingers, pulling the fmc's back gently against the mmc's chest whilst caressing her neck, drawing little circles around her navel etc. make me turn into a puddle and they are mostly done well when in a spicier situation.

"weeping over amarantha’s arc"

Nah, what sort of evil are you? Hell no!

I like complicated villains, but their arc and personality needs to be capturing. Now I'm not talking about villains turning good or villains having a redemption arc. I'm talking villain villains. xD Like Bellatrix Lestrange. I don't agree with her views and actions AT ALL, but her character was intriguing. For me Amarantha didn't have enough dept, I didn't get to know her enough to be able to say that she was interesting. One of my favourite villains is Martin Whitly of Prodigal son. Now this is a show, not a book, but man, Michael Sheen's performance is just absolute brilliance. The perfect villain. The one you want to hate because god, he is horrible, but you can't because he is written so f*cking well and played so goddamn well! *.*

You see, I personally go dutch because I don't ever want to owe anything to these men. My date might have been amazing, maybe the best I've ever been on, but I do not ever want to give the satisfaction to men that I owe them something. In nowadays' society, men literally translate even the smallest awkward, uncomfortable smile into an invitation to do unspeakable things to non-men. I might sound harsh, but I'll never let a men control me in any way. I had back-up money when I moved in together with my ex-boyfriend, in case anything happened. I always have money on all 3 bank cards of mine and have cash on me in case something happens and I wouldn't be able to pay for my meal or I wouldn't be able to get out of the date/situation when uncomfortable. But the worst part is that non-men need to take these precautions because men (not all men - getting tired of writing this shitty sentence because of all the "nice" guys) are f*cking predators.

Not gonna lie, I had to google heteropessimism and I have to say, that's me. And about a very high percentage of non-men.

"it’s increasingly damaging to get involved with men nowadays"

The fact that getting involved with men is not only damaging, but actually dangerous is frightening. My friend went on a date with this dude that seemed to be the nicest, funniest person I've ever seen. I saw all their messages and there was maybe 1 red flag. 1 minor red flag! Everyone has faults so with 1 red flag you don't think much of it. Maaan, I wish we did. He literally didn't want to let her our of his car regardless of how she kept saying that she felt unwell and uncomfortable and wanted to go home. At this point, you don't want to talk to men, you don't want to look at men, you don't want to get in their car, you don't even want to be in the same space regardless of how busy it is and regardless of it being day or night. Everything is an invitation to them. Even a simple eye contact and it's terrifying.

Besides, even in politics, countries after countries are taking away women's rights. America started it, Poland had been fighting it for years, Ireland still struggles with it and now UK took away women's rights from our basic rights law. I have no idea why we are going back in time, but as bad as it's going to sound, Guy F*wkes doesn't seem like a bad person right about now except his religious bs. Every f*cked up country needs a Guy F*wkes, but a non-male version, of course. I know, I know, it sounds really radical and of course, I don't actually mean any of it... or do I? O.O

There are so many good men, but when you are scared of one, you will be cautious with them all. When a group of lions run after you, you won't stop and think oh maybe one of them is nice. Nah, all of them will be considered dangerous.

And to be honest, whether you are 15, 20, 30 or 50, men will always be able to find a way to manipulate you. Yes, you grow wiser and sure, you can kind of filter out some of the bad apples, but some of them are rotten to the core and have the acting skills of a professional. Whilst I'm glad you didn't let yourself be consumed by some moron, as you said, unfortunately "it doesn’t shield" and it won't shield you. They will find a way. That's why I'm always cold on a date. If you still like me, cookies to you, but if you don't, one less problem.

I always say, give yourself a break. You don't have to be an optimistic all the time. You don't have to be happy and bubbly. Everyone has bad days, everyone has bad weeks or months. You need to be kinder to yourself, because at the end of the day many people will judge you, try to bring you down, step on you, but it is you who have to live with yourself whilst those little shits will get on with their lives without thinking twice about their actions. Cut yourself some slack.

Look, you are on anon for a reason. And whilst you said you are comfortable, I won't force it. I'm fine here, but I'm fine in dms as well. I will leave that completely up to you, because I know how hard it is to get off anon. I still haven't come off anon on some of the tumblrs who are actually my mutuals, because it's hard to talk to someone even if it's only your tumblr that they see. So if you feel more comfortable here, I'm good with that, but if you want to talk in dms, you can message me there anytime. I won't force you into any situation :)

And again I'm sorry for the late reply :D

#Heloise's inbox #goodreads anon

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avengersassemble123 · 3 years

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THE ONE WITH THE WEDDING - part 3

Fandom: Marvel, avengers

Note:hey guys!! This is going to be a series and a new chapter will come out on Fridays every week. This series is based on Friends (Monica and Chandler’s relationship)

Y/B/N - Your brother’s name

Y/F/N - your father’s name

Y/N - your name

Warnings: hate for step family, toxic stepmom, bad words, talk about lovemaking (no smut), swearing, verbal fighting, mention of slapping, mention of divorce, but otherwise fluff.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You were invited to your stepsister's wedding at the last minute and your stepmother wants you to bring a date. Bucky Barnes decides to become your so-called date and shenanigans ensue. But will he remain your ‘so-called’ fake date or will he be someone more?

It was 6 in the morning.

Bucky was lying on the bed, his bare upper half resting on the headrest while the sheets covered his lower naked body, his slightly ruined messy hair resting by the sides of his face. He unintentionally stared at the TV in front of the bed, but his mind still replaying the moments that happened just a few hours ago. He smiled a bit, reminiscing the last night's memories he had. It was a wild night indeed. It had been a long time since he had any physical contact like that. In the 40s, he would have slept with at least two women in a week. But since the shit went down, the thought about love let alone sex, never crossed his mind. He enjoyed the touches he received as well as gave during the previous night. He was lost in his blissful thoughts when-

SLAM!

The door opened, revealing Y/B/N. He was in robes, but fresh as a morning person. “Hey Barnes, we are gonna go down for some breakfast, wanna join us?” he said, not noticing Bucky’s hand on the sheet-covered lump beside Bucky.

“Yeah sure man,” he said with a straight face.

“Well I can't find my sister in the bedroom so if she meets you somewhere, just tell her to join us.”

“Sure no problem.”

Y/B/N left the room. As soon as the door shut close, I jumped up, the sheets still covering my body, “Did he know I was here?”

We both stared at the door for a few minutes, alert on who was going to come into the room unannounced.

After a few minutes, we both rested our backs towards the headboard, still alert but a bit more relaxed than before.

A few seconds passed before Bucky broke the silence,

“We-Well I've never done that before with you.”

“Hehe...nope.”

“So uh how are ya? I-i-uh..are you ok?”

“Yep. You?”

“OH Yes Yes uh-huh..you?”

You looked at him amusingly.

“We did you.” he replied, realising his question.

“Well I better get going” I said.

“Oh yes yes absolutely.” he replied.

As I tried to get up, I turned towards him and said, “Could you not look?”

“I don't wanna look.” he replied, turning his head away from your view, blush creeping up his face, which didn't go unnoticed by me.

I chuckled and got up from the bed, dressed myself up with the now wrinkled party dress of mine while Bucky too dressed up in his track pants.

“So...” I started.

Bucky turned towards me, still in his track pant and his bare chest since he was trying to find a shirt from his suitcase.

“Wel it was a really nice night. Trust me I will never regret this.” I said, which made both of us chuckle. “Well I'm glad to know that,” he replied smiling gently at me. We both looked at each other for a few seconds. “Well I am going to my room, see you in the breakfast hall.” I said, breaking eye contact with him and turning towards a door. He agreed and I headed towards my room, still not over the late night instants.

It was almost 7 in the evening. The bride and the groom are supposed to leave for the honeymoon today after dinner.

We were called from our rooms since the buffet was all set up. I was headed towards the elevator when I came across Bucky. We both greeted each other and waited for the elevator to come up.

“So..” Bucky started, “What we did last night was..-”

“Stupid.” I said.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “Totally crazy and stupid.”

“Yeah what were we thinking?” I chuckled.

Just then the elevator doors opened and both of us stepped in. The elevator started down and a few beats of silence passed when Bucky said, “I'm coming over tonight though.” he said his eyes cast on me seriously. “Oh Yeah definitely.” I replied quickly and seriously too. As soon as we reached the dinner hall, we both were separated, talking to other people.

After half an hour I felt my stomach growl and decided to head for the buffet. When I was feeding myself from the buffet, Bucky came there with his plate too.

“Hey,” he said, catching my attention.

“Hey.” I acknowledged.

He continued, “oh wow I hope you don't take this the wrong way but.. I know we had plans to meet up tonight, and uhh I'm just kinda..worried about what it might do to our friendship.”

“Oh I know..how could we have let this happen?” I sighed.

“Seven times!” he sighed exasperatedly.

“Look we were away.” I said turning towards him.

“In a romantic place with a romantic occasion,” he agreed to continue me.

“I blame my stepmom.” I said.

“Bad stepmom” he agreed, pointing the spoon at me.

“So look uh, while we're still in a romantic place on a romantic occasion, we can keep doing it right?” I asked him.

“Well I don't see that we have a choice.” he said, while taking his food, but continued, “But when we are back home, we don't do it.”

“Only here.” I said, now me pointing the finger at him agreeing.

Bucky looked around him and then turned his head towards me and said, “You know I saw a wine cellar downstairs.”

“Ill meet you there.” I replied quickly which made him throw the plate in the vegetarian section and agreed a quick ‘okay’ to me before heading towards the wine cellar.

We both headed towards the wine cellar, avoiding my family the best we could. When we reached the floor, Bucky said, “Listen, in the middle of something I scream the word ‘yippee’ just ignore me.” which made me chuckle. When we opened the wine cellar room, instead of an empty room, we came across all the bridesmaids, drunk and shit-faced, with one or two wine bottles in hand.

We closed the door and groaned in disappointment. Just then I said, “Let's look for another room, shall we?”

“Yep absolutely.”

We both went up the floors, searching for a room when we came across a certain empty room.

The honeymoon suite.

We both looked at each other and rushed inside.

“You think this is okay?” Bucky asked.

“Well, my step sister and her husband are not gonna use it now.” I said, closing the doors.

“The room’s beautiful.” Bucky admired the room. “You know I don't feel right about this.”

“Oh bucky bucky bucky,” you stepped towards him, “This is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex.” bucky chuckled at this.

“The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All the other honeymoon suites will think it is some kind of loser.”

“OKAY.” Bucky agreed and we both rushed to pull the sheets of the bed, when my step sister burst into the room, eyes searching all over the place calling to ‘Josh’, her new husband.

“Nope, not under here.” Bucky quickly said to cover us.

“What happened?” I asked, walking towards her. My sister burst into tears and sat on the dissembled bed.

“I've been trying to find Josh for an hour, my mom’s searching for him too. We didn't want the guests to find out so only our family is searching for him. He's nowhere to be seen. I've looked everywhere.”

“Well, you've not searched everywhere. Try searching for him for...30minutes?” Bucky said.

“How about 45?” I said.

Bucky looked at me in surprise, “wow you can find him twice in 45mins.”

I nodded to my sister.

“I don't know...” she said, frustrated. A few seconds of silence pass when she scoffs, “Gosh this is exactly what I felt like when I tried to find my pet cat, who escaped from the bathroom.”

We three looked at each other, realization dawning upon us. We rushed towards the bathroom to find exactly what was feared, an open window.

Just then my stepmom came in and looked at her daughter who was crying and rushed towards her. She tried to calm her but failed. Till then my grandma, dad and brother came up too, looking at the scene being unfolded. My stepmom then looked up and saw the people gathered in the room. Her eyes travelled to every single one, but when it came up on me, she rushed towards me and raised her hand to strike me. Just as she was about to, Bucky and my dad blocked her, my dad holding her back, while Bucky stood in front of me protectively. My brother stood beside Bucky, also ready to block my stepmom, while my grandmother hugged.

“YOU BITCH!! IT WAS YOUR DOING WASN'T IT?” my stepmom screeched pointing her finger towards me, while my dad shouted her name to stop. “I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE INVITED YOU OR ELSE THIS MESS WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED. YOU USED YOUR WHATEVER SPY TECHNIQUES ON JOSH AND CONVINCED HIM TO LEAVE MY DAUGHTER DIDN'T YOU? YOU BLOODY WHORE.”

“HEY WATCH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING? THAT’S MY SISTER YOU'RE TALKING TO!” my brother shouted. “OH, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHO SHE IS. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT IT WAS THIS BLOODY WHORE WHO WANTED TO RUIN MY DAUGHTERS WEDDING JUST BECAUSE THIS BITCH WASN'T CAPABLE AND DESERVEDLY OF IT.” Just then Bucky started in a stern menacing voice, “Maam I don't know what problem you have with Y/N and I know I have no place in your matters but I don't think you appreciate how amazing she is then you realize. She didn't want to come to the wedding at all, but she still came so that the family could be united. You've been giving her shit for a long time that she doesn't deserve and constantly mocking and disregarding her, which I cannot accept with any woman yet alone Y/N. Y/N not only has a real family but also a second family, which you know who exactly they are, so don't let me call in the ladies of this family cause they are way terrifying than the men, and I would feel sorry even for you if they got their hands on you, so you need to back off now, you hear me Maam? And besides Y/N isn't the one who you should call a whore.”

I was surprised and felt a warm feeling in my chest when Bucky defended me like this, but the last sentence got my curiosity.

“Bucky, what do you mean?” I asked.

“Well I tried to tell someone but I was afraid how anyone was gonna react to it, so I just decided to shut my mouth but I think everyone needs to know”

My stepmom stuttered “I don't understand what nonsense is this. Did you bring him here too to fuck with us, huh? Is this part of your plan-”

All of a sudden, a chord was struck inside me.

“Hey shut your mouth will you?” I yelled, “Don't you dare speak ill of him. You've been nothing but rude and talked shit about me till now. You downgraded me, insulted me, and accused me continuously in front of everyone. I have been nothing but calm and obedient towards you since I was a kid, but you don't deserve this kind of treatment. I could have survived if you insulted me, but if you go towards my family, then you would wish that I was not the one who you messed with. Bucky is a part of my family and nobody and I mean nobody gets to insult them, you hear me? FLASH NEWS: you were never my family. So why don't you shut the hell up and let him continue, you bitch.”

Everyone looked at me in shock, most of them in amusement, especially Bucky, while my brother lowly whistled in amusement.

“Continue Bucky.” I asked him, as if I didn't just yell at my stepmom.

“Well you see, in the afternoon, I decided to call one of my friends so I went to the back of the hall when I saw the dear bride, making out with one of the groomsmen. At first, I thought it was a mistake, but then I saw how they both were enjoying it because the bride herself was gonna get married in a few hours but was making out with a man who is not the groom. So I assume Josh got to know about this and this particular course of events occurred.”

“No, You’re lying. My daughter would never do this. She is better and decent than most of you here. Y/n got you into this didn't she?”

I groaned audibly, while Bucky clenched his jaw. At that moment my brother retorted, “Why the hell are you moving this against her? What the hell did she ever do to you? I bet your ass it’s none other than our dear bride sister who ruined this herself. And besides, by the way, you’re constantly accusing Y/N, it seems to me that you’re jealous of her. Jealous of how successful she has become. Jealous of what she is today. Jealous because she is more happier and successful than your daughter herself.”

I could hear the smugness in my brother’s tone.

My stepmom stepped back in shock. She turned towards my dad, “Oh my god, can you please explain to your twins not to talk such things about my daughter. Are you going to let them talk to me like this?”

My dad was silent for a few seconds, before stepping back and saying, “no.”

“What?” She asked.

“Yep. you heard it right. No.”

“Y/F/N what are you doing? Are you going to let them ruin your darling daughter’s wedding and life like this?”

“I have only two darling children and those are my twins, Y/B/N and Y/N. All you have done is insult them and demotivate them till now. I gave you everything, be it money or a house, but all I wanted was for you to accept my family. I thought you would finally accept it, but I guess I was wrong. I made a mistake of not doing this before but now I ain’t gonna repeat it. It’s over. We’re over. We’re done. If you can’t accept my family then you can’t be a part of it.”

We all looked at him in surprise. My grandma started laughing and congratulated him in joy, “oh finally you did it. Oh how much I wanted to see this moment!!”

Bucky pursed his lips and shook his head amusingly while I and my brother held back our laughter.

That night we all left my ex-sister and ex-stepmom in the wedding hall itself and decided to return to our homes. I bid my dad, grandma and brother farewell while I left with Bucky for the tower.

We both sat in our car, Bucky driving.

Taglist

@pretty-vulture

@scarzxo

I added the requested tags. Taglist is open!!!

Read chapter 4 here

#marvel #mcu #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #bucky barnes #avengers #mcu x reader #bucky barnes x reader #tfatws #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x reader friends au #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky barnes x y/n #avengers x platonic reader #THE ONE WITH THE WEDDING

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kinktae · 4 years

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beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !)

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?” IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

#beyond the story #bts smut #Jungkook smut #bts jungkook #bts #bts imagines #bts preferences #Jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook

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billionairesitgirl · 4 years

Note

Hiii!! I’m not sure if you’re taking any questions buuuttt i shall ask one anyway and hope you answer hehe <3

- so there’s this guys who’s asked me out on a couple dates (two to be exact) both dates were set but canceled; first by him and second by me due to some important things. He said he hates canceling plans and that he’s a man of his word. I’m the same! Sooo sidenote he did CALL me to ask me out BUT the thing I’m struggling with is.. he will ask me out with no hesitation but RARLEY ever texts me. He only seems to text me when he sees me because we work in the same company. I’m not really sure what the question I’m trying to ask is but could you help me understand if I’m being played or if he just wants me for sex? I’m having trouble understanding where exactly he’s at and I feel like it’s WAY to early to ask that because we don’t know eachother that we’ll but we’ve had some pretty good conversations in person and maybe a few over text. Also I’ve notice if we set a date he won’t text me until the day of! I’ve been in numerous unhealthy and toxic relationships and have been used so many times that I’m struggling with reading people atm and I’m scared I’m going to go through all that again.

Ps: he’s 10 years older than me and I’m soooo sorry this is long and might be confusing ASF <3

I do have a lot of questions coming in that i haven’t answered. I have been busy traveling.

It seems like you haven’t understood your own value yet.

1.) Why are you interested in this man? for regular dating leading to something serious and real love? or hypergamy? or SD?

Figure out why you want this man.

2.) What type of man do you want in your life (considering what you have gone through)

Make a list. The attributes you want in a man. The way you want him to treat you, the way you want to man to feel about you, the way you want the man to court you etc... MAKE A LIST

(Does this current man even make you remotely feel that way?) ... I know you aren’t dating yet... But a man’s interest is usually clear. A man’s courtship is usually clear as well; when he is truly interested in pursuing you (for whatever reason...)

From what am gathering... you are out sight ... out of mind to this man. (Meaning, he isn’t really thinking about you...) ... He has the attitude of (if i get her putting minimum effort possible... i get her... If I don’t then hey, at least there was no effort.... MEANING : He could take it or leave it attitude).

Meaning, If another woman, he kindles his interest more comes along... you are BYE-BYE (People appreciate more what they invest effort into)

Do you really want a man who puts the least amount of bare minimum in the beginning stages? Can you imagine if you start the relationship... what he will be like, after he gets more comfortable (cause relationships, do cool down to a norm eventually). So if he is like this now... the potential of what he could become later sounds like another additional heart break for you.

3.) You know the answer to your own question; If this man only texts you when he sees you.

One of my favorite quote is “They say a lot... so i watch what they do” Men say a lot because they understand that women are gotten through words... So they say a lot.... He say’s he is a man of his word... that doesn’t mean anything to you. (Even if he is) that doesn’t spell his interest in you. it just means if he says he will be there at 8, then he will be there.... This is his general personality to people.... What you are trying to decipher is his interest in you. So being a man of his word.... doesn’t mean anything at this point.

A man’s action is his true feelings... take words with a grain of salt... WATCH ACTIONS...

What i am saying.... Is this man doesn’t have a skin in the game

secondly, he isn’t that interested (It could be that his interest will increase once you guys make it to a date)... But personally, I like men who even before dates pursue me and lead with their interest (I am spoilt that way... because I don’t require anything less... I won’t even engage with anything less...)

You don’t have to do that... BUT the problem is really not this man. He is the way he is... its up to you to determine if that works for you or if it doesn’t

The problem is YOU...

Clearly, you aren’t happy with his laissez faire interest in you.

The less than bare minimum effort etc.

So, why continue to entertain and inject hope there? You have a case of FOMO

What if I don’t give him a chance and he ends up being this wonderful man that i end up missing?

(What if he is only this way because he doesn’t know me yet and we’ve not been on a date yet)

The what ifs are legitimate question about not writing people off...

BUT........HAS THAT WORKED FOR YOU BEFORE?

(Yes, he could be a wonderful man... but he could also be a nightmare)

(Yes, he could be a wonderful man to another woman... that doesn’t mean he will be for you)

There are other women that man puts more effort into (because he is more interested).

Men’s action towards a woman, is usually on where they place you on their scale. (There could be a woman that man will send 20 messages a day to) Even from the first day....

KNOW THIS - Every man has a scale... consciously of subconsciously... it exists

My sponsor says “There are women. you wouldn’t dare spend more than 3k on, there are women, you wouldn’t even insult by offering 35k... And then there are women who anything less than a blackcard is an insult to himself and to her

Meaning : The level of a man’s interested is shown (yes the interest can grow, yes it can also start out an diminish)... The question is... ARE YOU HAPPY WITH WHERE IT IS STARTING AT? WILL YOU STAY IF IT DIMINISHES?

If a man’s interest starts out high and on it way starts to diminishes... I LEAVE

If i a man’s interest start’s out low and grows(I slowly match it.)...

Example : Lets say A man’s interest starts at 50%

I keep my interest in him at 10 %

If it grows to 100%

I increase mine to 20%

If it grows beyond 100%

I increase accordingly

And if his interest stays consistently high and above...

I match accordingly

ON THE REVERSE

Now if his interest decreases to 50%

I also scale back to 10%

It it falls less than 50%...

I leave (There a reason why, I don’t let it go less than 50%)

Again, you don’t have to do what i do (like I always warn people... you lose a lot of people going my way) And it can be hard...

But in my personal experience (It only keeps quality over quantity).

He is not playing you.... You are playing yourself by not really knowing your value or being honest with yourself and sticking your ground on how you want to be treated.

So figure that out...

#sugardating #sugardatingadvice #sugardatingtips #sugarbowl #hypergamy #datingadvice #sugarbowltips

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dabi0118 · 3 years

Note

hello 👉🏻👈🏻 i’m finally here 💗 congratulations on reaching 100 bby m’ so so proud of you!! we i wanna take part in the kink talk hehe ( it’s a little long, feel free to skip out anything if it gets too much babies 🥺 )

my darling tou, you can always come home and take a nap on my lap whenever you want, im here ♥️ and reaper baby, you work so hard i just wanna smooch you after a long day and keep you full with food cock. take care of yourself and don’t overwork okay? you need time to rest and recuperate too ♥️

double penetration,breath play, mind break, sacrilege, phone sex, collaring, voyeur, overstim, exhibition, anal and chikan !!

( you guys can pick and choose which ones you wanna answer, and as who hehe 😜 ) love you both and come cuddle, s’ weird being in your bed without you 🥺

👻

Haha, hello baby.

So nice of you to come see me. I know what you've been up to, and you're in big trouble. But for now, I'll let it slide. I'll answer as many as I can, sweetheart, then you better be ready for me.

I WILL MARK MY KINKS NEXT TO THE TITLE WITH A LITTLE (REAPER APPROVED) HEHE

TW: MIND BREAK, SACRILEGE, MENTION OF CORRUPTION, CHIKAN

[Double Penetration] REAPER APPROVES ✅ [6/10]

Kink Rate: 7/10

Honestly, I'm incredibly jealous, so having another person put their dirty little cock into my angel is unappealing on the surface level. But maybe we could turn it into game. We could compete to see how many thrusts it would take before one of us cums, trying to outlast each other. Then we'd fill my baby up so tight that when we pull out, it wouldn't even feel like we've left them.

[Mind Break] REAPER APPROVES ✅ [6/10]

Kink Rate: 8/10

This feeds into my toxic side. Using and abusing someone's body to the point of mind break, going from them protesting, begging for me to stop, to them being grateful and taking it like a good little dumb slut. I quite enjoy the look in their eyes when you can tell they've given up all inhibitions, letting go, sarcificing themselves to me.

I do enjoy it more when my partners are fully into it though, when my pleasure is connected with theirs, it brings me more satisfaction than mind break. So I only rated it an 8.

[Sacrilege] REAPER APPROVES ✅ [10/10]

Kink Rating: 9/10

I've actually dressed up as a priest/ pastor before and choked someone with a silver rosary. I'd like to fuck in a really nice cathedral. A real pretty one, with lots of stained glass to reflect down on the pews while we fill the church hall with our lewd noises. I'd like to act out a little scene in the confessional where you tell me your dirtiest thoughts, your worst sins... Then I "cleanse" you with my hot cum, telling you that a sinner like you would never go to heaven after corrupting an innocent Father like me.

[Phone Sex] REAPER APPROVES ✅ [8/10]

Kink Rating: 10/10

Sexy.

I actually had phone sex the other day. An office woman (not sure why business women contact me so much) calls me from her work phone, saying she knows who I am, and she wants to have some fun. I said okay, asked her what she wanted from me, and in a matter of moments we were both moaning out loud, cumming on our end of the line. She made me put my phone up to my cock so she could hear my cum being spread and pumped all over my shaft.

[Chikan]

Kink Rate: 8/10

Public molestation basically. So, I think with two consenting adults, it's sexy, since I'm also into public sex, but unwarranted, it's kind of awkward. I will act out the part if my partner wishes for it, rubbing up against them on a busy train or a packed store, having them feel how hard I am through my clothes while I whisper in their ear about how much I want them.

But again, I would only do this in a consenting, trustworthy partnership.

Come see me after you're done playing around. I have no limits when it comes to you.

#dabi.mail #👻 anon #heheh #100 follower event

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betweenthetimeandsound · 3 years

Text

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (250-241)

(Author's note: I intended to have the list ready by 1 September, but I was a bit lousy in compiling the final spots on there. As a result, they will seem a bit shoddy, but there will be good summaries, I promise! And there will be honorable mentions soon enough.)

#250: Harel Skaat -- Milim (Israel 2010)

“האור נרדם, דמעות של דם, שורפות לי בגרון, ידית שרוטה, תקרה שמוטה, כשאני שר לך את השיר האחרון” “The light fell asleep, tears of blood scorch my throat Scratched handle, sloping ceiling When I sing to you the last song” Curiously, I already knew of Harel Skaat before hearing of Eurovision: I listened to a few of his earlier tracks when I found him singing with another Israeli pop artist, Dor Daniel. I particularly liked משנו ממני and כמה עוד אפשר. Milim is a requiem for what was once lost—the presence of one whom the narrator really loves. The imagery used in this song adds to the melancholic feel—a classic ballad of sorts, with a lot of emotion. And the performance from Harel was very good, even though he butchered a note at the end. Maybe it was the pretty blue lights that really accompanied the mood of the song. Personal ranking: 7th/39 Actual ranking: 14th/25 GF (grand final) in Oslo

#249: Tina Karol -- Show Me Your Love (Ukraine 2006)

"You see it in my eyes, my heart is on fire Don’t hide your love away, don’t wait another day" As mentioned in the note, I had a hard time determining the last few spots on my list. I went through the results of both sorters and picked what I felt in the time. Show Me Your Love is a bit odd, but with the accordion intro striking right away, it deserves a place here! While an overly simple song with stilted lyrics, Show Me Your Love is still a bunch of fun. From the boppy beat to Tina's infectious presence on stage, one can't help but smile as this comes along. And there was a jump rope right in the middle of the performance--never change, Ukraine. :) Personal ranking: 5th/37 Actual ranking: 7th/24 GF in Athens

#248: Alan Sorrenti -- Non so che darei (Italy 1980)

“Non so che darei per fermare il tempo Per dormire al tuo fianco solo una notte Non so che darei per sentirti mia Per tenerti vicina solo una notte” “I don’t know what I can give to stop the time To sleep beside you only for one night I don’t know what I can give To take you close to me only for one night” Recently, I find myself humming to this a lot, because it's so calming and nice. I particularly like Alan’s vocals in this song! He really conveys the pain of losing (or on the verge of losing) the one he loves, expressed by the melancholic lyrics. Together, they form a song which is just as beautiful, if not more so than the winner of its year. Despite its 6th place, it became a continent-wide hit, which was quite deserved (just like a good number of Italian Eurovision songs over the years, haha)! Alongside that, Non so che darei also had the only black conductor at Eurovision while there was an orchestra, along with a couple of women playing fake guitars. For some reason, I imagined they were holding umbrellas instead, but I clearly remembered wrong... Personal ranking: 3rd/19 Actual ranking: 6th/19 in Den Haag

#247: Sanja Vucic ZAA -- Goodbye (Shelter) (Serbia 2016)

"I lick my wounds So that I can keep on fighting" Another last-minute choice, but this is an important song, both in 2016 and now, unfortunately. Despite the advances in women's rights over the decades, domestic violence still persists across the world. Goodbye (Shelter) tells the story through someone who's struggling to get out of a toxic relationship, and there's a mix of vulnerability and strength in the lyrics. Of course, lyrics don't make up the whole song; the music also conveys the story through a dramatic build and beautiful strings. Considering the 2016 contest, it does get a bit lost amongst the crowd, but it feels like a musical number in all the right ways. Also, the performance told the story well, and Sanja is a wonderful singer (she also sings a cover of one all-time favorite you will see towards the end, hehe). I even would shed a tear at points. Personal ranking: 8th/42 Actual ranking: 18th/26 GF in Stockholm

#246: Remedios Amaya--Quien Maneja Mi Barca? (Spain 1983)

“El verde de tus ojos verdes, mírame, Que mira que yo te mire, mírame, Que mira que yo te mire” “The green of your green eyes, look at me, Look at me, so I can look at you, look at me Look at me, so I can look at you” One of those songs that can be defined as an acquired taste--the people who love it enjoy its subversive status in the Eurovision canon for being unapologetically Spanish, while the people who hate it will dismiss it as just a bunch of noise. This is a song which is part of the “New Flamenco” genre popularized since the 1960s, which mixes up flamenco music with other genres, such as rock or electronic music. Quien Maneja mi Barca ‘s studio cut has nebulous lyrics combined with an electronic beat, which is alright at best. I found it quite hollow and quite forgettable there. I prefer it in its orchestral form, which fuses synths and concert instruments fantastically. It definitely amps up the drama with Remedios’ voice, and made me appreciate this very distinct entry. Personal ranking: 6th/20 Actual ranking: Joint last (with Turkey) in Munich

#245: Marianna Efstratiou - To diko sou asteri (Greece 1989)

"Μα στο βραδινό τον ουρανό το δικό σου αστέρι ψάξε βρες Γιατί οι σκιές στο πρώτο φως μοιάζουνε φοβίες παιδικές" "But in the evening sky, search and find your own star Because the shadows in the first light seem to be childish phobias" While To diko sou asteri sounds a bit safe in the grand scheme of things, I think its lack of pretension is what makes this little song shine. The lyrics encourage one to find their star and encourage the listener to pursue what they believe in without any fear. Marianna's vocals also add to this song in that they're quietly hopeful and sweet. Also, for some reason, I got some "True Colors" vibes while listening to it every time, despite there being some differences. Both have this relaxing, calm vibe to help the listener on their journey through life. Then again, True Colors doesn't have some nice flute flourishes throughout the song, haha. Personal ranking: 4th/22 Actual ranking: 9th/22 at Lausanne

#244: Dina -- Amor d'agua fresca (Portugal 1992)

"Peguei, trinquei e meti-te na cesta Ris e dás-me a volta à cabeça" "I picked you, bit into you and put you in the basket You laughed and made my head spin" 1992 is one of the most average years at Eurovision--after the chaos that was 1991, it seems like the songs and production sought something safer, and the whole thing felt really bland. Amor d'agua fresca is anything but dull--it's bubbly and sweet, with quite relaxed atmosphere. The combination of instruments--particular the guitar in the beginning and Dina's vocals-- really help with conveying a mood. But after that, we have the lustful lyrics, describing a romance through enjoying different fruits, which was quite different for me... But hey, different makes things quite a bit better in life! Personal ranking: 4th/23 Actual ranking: 17th/23 in Malmo

#243: Lucia -- Él (Spain 1982)

"Él me perdona porque es un pedazo de buen pan Y me trata con paciencia Sé que no debo ser cruel Que le debo confesar que él a mí, no me interesa" "He forgives me because he’s a scrap of good bread And he treats me with patience I know that I shouldn’t be cruel That I should tell him I’m not interested in him" One interesting thing about me is that I'm a sucker for tango music. There's a sense of drama when one listens to it, and even more so when people get on the dance floor. While I've only danced it a few times, when one does it right, the connection between two people is quite powerful, and you could fall right into a dream. El definitely amps up the drama--Lucia is in a conflicted relationship, but she plays the "player" role quite well. It's very flirty and seductive, and you could immerse yourself in the story. While the dancing was a bit too much for a stage as small as 1982's, it's still quite fun to see. Also, it was sent as a way of supporting Argentina in the Falkland Wars, which is quite interesting... Personal ranking: 4th/18 Actual ranking: 10th/18 in Harrogate

#242: Gabriela Gunčíková -- I Stand (Czech Republic 2016)

"I am thanking you, you made me You are my air, I’ll always care" For those who have an aversion to ballads, why is that? I find it annoying because there can be ones where they can touch you and tell a story. Life can't always be happy bops with heavy beats (or it's because they don't really inhabit my musical atmosphere most of the time...) I Stand sounds like a derivative ballad sonically, but it carries itself with such grace and grandeur. The instruments add to the drama of the song, which thanks a special person for their help in their life (though the lyrics above can come off as a bit co-dependent...or so I've heard) And Gabriela delivers this with the necessary composure and grace the song desires. It feels like a highlight track from a musical--one where two characters meet again and the narrator wants to recognize the latter's good deeds before they're gone forever. Thanks to that, the Czech Republic gets their first grand final appearance (though getting 0 televote points once there was harsh...) Personal ranking: 7th/42 Actual ranking: 25th/26 GF in Stockholm

#241: t.A.T.u -- Ne ver, ne boysia (Russia 2003)

“Кто-то понты а кто-то маньяк, Кто-то как ты, кто-то как я.” “Someone's a psycho and someone's a maniac, Someone like you, someone like me” If I’m right, I may have heard this song without knowing this was from Eurovision. It was because there was a period between middle school and high school where I love t.A.T.u’s music, and this was one of their singles. Ne Ver Ne Bosia is compelling and dark, with an interplay about the people around them using an old Soviet proverb as the title. It’s gripping and intense, and brings the listener into this crazy and mad world they're enveloped in. The performance, on the other hand, almost couldn't have been worse. The vocals were really ropey (especially from Lena, who would usually be trusted to help Yulia), and it didn't come over as a great listening experience. While I love it, t.A.T.u were really lucky they competed in the televote era, as they would've been struck down hard by the juries. (and the worst part: there will be a couple of poorly-performed entries which will be quite high on this list...) Personal ranking: 6th/26 Actual ranking: 3rd/26 in Riga

#esc 250 #esc top 250 #eurovision song contest #esc israel #esc italy #esc 2021 #esc serbia #esc portugal #esc greece #esc russia #esc czech republic #vintage eurovision #three minutes to eternity #esc ukraine

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neo-shitty · 3 years

Note

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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mmagazinemoment · 3 years

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Why my past loves make me want to look into nihilism as a lifestyle.

Good morning, midday, afternoon, or evening to you my fellow queers and allies and plain and simply gorgeous humans. You see I have already written another version of this edition but instead I have a pure heroine filled piece instead, and you may not be ready for it because it covers a few serious points but it’s also the (fuck your ex) vibe, not literally…unlesssssss * insert meme*. Thanks for joining me again my loves

Why my past loves make me want to look into nihilism as a lifestyle

You ever just meet someone and fall completely into their arms and become almost a complete and utter 3rd leg of the other? What I mean in all seriousness is, don’t you ever feel like the love game grows on you like a drug addiction and I know some of you will see this and be thinking? What do you mean “the love game” I know it’s not a game, a figure of speech as such. Basically, what I’m trying to say is have you ever loved someone so much that you didn’t see the signs of detrimental dysfunction.

Wow that all sounds so serious, let me dial it down a little, I’m just trying this new thing called being uncensored and not caring about preconceived notions of myself from external eyes. Months ago, I was shattered into a million pieces and I won’t blame just him because it was my fault for thinking every relationship or whatever it was, was going to end up like a tv romance, no that’s a lie. I over invested and blamed him for hurting my own self, sure he had something to do with it, but he wasn’t just to blame. Can’t tell me I don’t know how to take accountability (wow I’m funny).

For instance, in a movie you meet and lock eyes with someone and the breeze grasps your hair, when I met said person, I was like ‘omg he’s tall, I’m going to fall in love with a giraffe’ and then I tried to build a home in him, without the investment and time taken to be careful with my time and words of affirmation in efforts to receive reciprocation I never got unless it was backhanded or what I wanted to hear. So how did you perceive your first love? Did he/she/they look pleasing? Or was it the scent of their perfume or cologne? Did they dress in a floral vintage outfit or was it a suit and tie? Ballet flats or sneakers? Tell me? I want to know all of the juicy details!

I know some of you probably didn’t ask or ever want to know but my first love happened in a series of me closing doors journeying through my uneasy sexuality labelling and let’s be real, fuck labels am I right? (unless you find comfortability and closure under a label and with that you’re perfectly valid), Love to me was like heroine and in some senses it still is. When I first learnt of love, it didn’t feel like love, it felt like obligation, perhaps a trend. Love felt like learning all he moves to a Tik Tok dance as fast as possible before the hype disappeared, and it became irrelevant again, questionable reference point but blame social media not me. I was never satisfied.

Keep in mind this was 15-year-old me, trying to gain some sense of validation to seem a little less repressed and not confused because before 15 year old me realised that 12 year old me wasn’t as weird as I thought. I was under this veil of non-transparency and speaking on the subject of transparency I must tell you 12 was the year of age I realised that I wasn’t like the other boys at school, just swooning for girls and getting scared of cooties, I was just begging to be seen by whoever had eyes to care. Sounds dramatic I know.

Nobody was ever there to tell me at such a young age that there were others like me, “different”, the type of boy who watched rebel without a cause and felt weird when James Dean was looking so gorgeous and composed in that leather jacket or admiring Tim Curry when he dressed like no man I’d ever seen on a movie screen in or even real life in the Rocky Horror Show, something sparked in… me. I started on the smallest step I knew, acknowledgement, I knew I could find a home in the fact that there were more people like me, and wow I was right. I was finding comfort in what I knew, I found a few gorgeous women and obviously because of my age we thought that holding hands and a peck on the cheek was all we needed in life from the label of ‘relationship’, but it was only ever a weekly process. Anytime I found ‘love’ I wouldn’t know what to do with it without the chase, like a dog chasing a bone. Even to this day I have never had a successfully long relationship but at least these days it’s not because of my toxic traits, I like to think I’ve grown a considerate amount since I was 15. Don’t get me wrong, neither of those experiences were love? How could they be?

Ironically love happened even ‘after’ I was in a relationship. I had another relationship when I was 17, it lasted a little longer than the prior, it went for a month and a half, I was convinced I loved her, so sappy but you wanted transparency right? I have a lot of it. After that, my ex brought to attention after she cheated on me that I was using her as a sort of beard to cover up the truth about myself, I never knew how to perceive myself until then and that was only the second step, there was so much more to cover.

Skip forward past a few experiences leading up the near current, I met someone, a sort of fleeting romance, now (forewarning, this gets sappy) we talked for a few weeks if my memory isn’t hazy, and we quickly developed something no short of a connection. FaceTime after FaceTime I’d gather more and more pictures of his goofy face and at one stage, I thought I was going to be happy for the foreseeable future, then came reality. You can’t be loved by someone who doesn’t want to face themselves and you can’t help them anymore than what you’re capable of giving out. I didn’t listen to that, naturally things just got worse, and I hated everything…

He would apologise, I would validate his actions to friends who were concerned and realising that I was getting too soon attached and it wasn’t going to end well and I copped the consequences, I still have only recently not found regret in messing up this badly because if I didn’t make that mistake then I would’ve just witnessed those mistakes I made in the lap of somebody else and this is where the saying goes, better the devil you known then the devil you don’t. let me tell you it did more than a number on my mental health before I added up the reasons as tallies against us and internalised what I should’ve subtracted (hehe see what I did there). In all seriousness I wanted the thrill, I sure as hell got one.

Your mental health is amplified by your lifestyle choices and the people you choose to keep in your circle, friendship, or relationships regardless, the whole thing was out of whack and a tornado was nothing less than the accurate definition of where I was at, and it hurt a lot but sometimes it’s best to leave that situation if that person who you thought was going to be there for a while and a necessity to your life ends up being the detriment. (as Ashley Frangipane said) “its crazy when the thing you love the most is the detriment, let that sink in”.

If there is one piece of advice that I want whoever sees this to take with them it’s this, Keep your space sacred baby, you only have one life, but also please do not criticize yourself for getting caught in the motion sickness, sometimes you just can’t avoid it and that’s ok. Life is not a movie, life is more like the behind the scenes extra that puts everything into perspective, it’s rational and shows the hard work put in place to make the art and you should remind yourself as such. Remember also that if you cannot cope with all of the stress that presents itself in your life, that there are people that are equipped to help you hold some of the baggage for you until you are ready to take it back and analyse it. Whatever your grief is, I assure you, you’re not alone.

As always, stay healthy and strut your shit and I cannot stress this enough but keep raging against the machine and the super straights xoxo without the gossip girl, farewell until the next piece of The Mantra Magazine. *keep this in mind* next issue will be a little forward, it will include themes of segregation and war regarding the families of the Palestinians and Israeli conflicts happening right now. So, bring some tissues and an open mind. Farewell.

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tawaifeddiediaz · 4 years

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Top 5 Bollywood movies

I was definitely expecting this question and I predicted it was either you or Cookie but anyway feel free to take this list as a rec list, and it is integrated with gifs because I do be loving them.

1. Veer Zaara

Literally my most favourite movie on this goddamn planet. I would DIE for Veer and Zaara and this story and soundtrack were full bops and my heart is so full just thinking about it

2. Vivah

Another damn classic, definitely ahead of the times for 2006 hehe. Either way? Prem and Poonam were so cute, and you could visibly tell how much they love each other AND ALSO THAT HOSPITAL SCENE TAKES MY GODDAMN BREATH AWAY

3. Kal Ho Naa Ho

This has to be here. I watched this for the first time 15 years ago, and I watch it at least once a month if not more, and lemme tell you I sob like a baby EVERY SINGLE TIME. GODDD i loved them, though now that I’m older, I can recognize some of the unsavoury themes hehehe. (not to mention peak Shah Rukh Khan look)

4. Thappad

This was a recent movie I watched and I loved it, especially knowing that we have this toxic pattern that hitting your partner is okay (even if you do it only once) and Bollywood has kinda just perpetuated it. Because you start from one, and after that...it just grows. Anyway the women in this movie are so varied but the lead female role is *chef’s kiss*

(this scene was PIVOTAL to the movie where the lead says “it’s not about one slap, it’s about the mentality/disrespect”)

5. My Name Is Khan

This one is so relevant in today’s world. It’s about a Muslim man with Asperger’s navigating a post 9/11 world (right at the peak of Islamophobia), and how, when tragedy hits his family, he goes to prove that “my name is Khan, and I am not a terrorist.”

And some more: Happy Bhag Jaayegi, Maine Pyar Kiya, Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania, Badrinath Ki Dulhania, Ram Leela, Jodhaa Akbar, Fitoor, Ek Vivaah Aisa Bhi, Cocktail, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Baghban...and maybe Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge too.

Ask me my top 5 anything

#zee answers #i'm literally just recommending my favourite bollywood movies to anyone that will listen #and cj listens #so here we go #cj is amazing and i love her #ugh why is bollywood so good at aesthetics #Bollywood rec list

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cowpokecorner · 3 years

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Cowpoke Korgi at it Again

CK: Howdy folks!~ Yeup it’s me again. Now I wanted to take the time to write something cause it’s been on my mind and recent events have made me even more so want to write it now then ever. And sadly no, I’m not talking about the Micah fic, but that will be in the works soon! I just gotta figure out a plot..... ._.;;;; Anywho, this particular thing is actually a bit of a dive into Micah as a character. Now unfortunately because I am poor ((;~;)), I do not own RDR2 so I suppose you can take this with a grain of salt if you want but what I have done is watch at least 5 or 6 playthroughs now and my friend has been lovely enough to antagonize and stalk Micah for me. uwu ((Thanks PB >w> hehe)) As well as me looking up content from the game on my own to learn more because when I take an interest in a particular character I tend to hyper fixate. So with my knowledge of the character and my bit of knowledge from behavioral health and psychiatry from college, I’d like to discuss the man that is, Micah Bell The Third

((Discussion under cut because I will be talking about trauma and other things that may be triggering to some))

So with all things I’d like to start from the beginning which would be Micah’s childhood. Now we don’t hear too much about how he grew up but what we can gather from the way he talks about his father and his out look on life, that it wasn’t pretty. And with many of his lines it seems it was probably most likely abusive. We as human beings are a product of our upbringing. This is even more so true of that time period where children were even more so expected to follow everything their parents told them. It was the societal norm. It’s unfortunate but the truth. We now days have a lot more freedom to grow into the people we want to be. But Micah didn’t have that option. His father seems to have been his main if not only caretaker. We never hear of his mother nor is a mother figure ever mentioned. This honestly makes sense with his poor ability to interact with women. So from his actions and words already we can deduce he was in a sour situation with no other parental figure to look out for and protect him. His mother may have even abandoned him and Amos. Sadly we’ll never know as Micah says nothing for us to go off of. This gave Micah a very poor outlook on life. A cruel world where everyone kills each other over small things just because they can. An eat or be eaten world. Being taught this from a young age would cause him to be a very sour and dark person. Which is why he behaves the way he does. Mostly looking out for himself because he can’t trust anyone. But can you really blame him? As he ages things only seem to get worse. He watched his father almost kill his brother. The one person who is your protector and meant to guide you through life, might easily turn and kill you if you do anything to piss him off. He had no one. Except maybe Amos. This brings me to further on in his life and more of his pain that causes him to be such an angry person. While many of us would see it as Amos getting away from a toxic lifestyle and doing better for himself, Micah clearly sees it as a betrayal. As abandonment. It’s why he talks so poorly of Amos even though he tried to reach out to him. In Micah’s mind Amos left him. His own brother wants nothing to do with him. And where does this leave Micah? With no one. No family. No loved ones. No one to have his back and be there for him. He’s broken. Lost. Looking for something, anything to fill that void. For a while he just accepts being on his own and bouncing around. But he finds Dutch. And after their meeting something draws him to this man and makes him want to stick around with him. And honestly with his behavior I’m pretty sure I know exactly why. A father figure. Dutch is the father he wanted, the father he deserved but never had. It’s why he sucks up to him so much and is so jealous of Arthur and John. He wants that acceptance, he wants that praise. He wants Dutch to look at him the same way he looks at his boys. And it’s why Micah tries so damn hard. He makes so many references, sons of Dutch. Insisting on calling Arthur his brother. This man wants a family. The family he lost and no longer has. The problem is it isn’t that simple to just insert yourself into a family and be a part of it. And we come to Micah’s final actions. He has tried so hard to impress Dutch, to be seen. But it never happens. He’s never as good as Arthur. Which is why in the low honor ending he is so angry. Because in this particular ending, Arthur has been just as bad as him. Has just as bad of morals and kills and robs just as much as Micah. They are the same. Which is why Micah says he’s not better than him. He is so frustrated that in the end he still couldn’t get Dutch’s approval even though Arthur was just as bad as him. Just as awful of a person. But Dutch still wouldn’t accept him. Now of course Micah also turned on the gang, but if you were trying so hard to get someone to accept you but they refused to and it was your life or theirs..... Are you so sure you wouldn’t do the same? Plus yes he fought and was rude with most of the gang but it’s because he was so closed off and didn’t want to get attached. Plus other things such as his views on people. More unfortunate things taught by his father. Seeing some as parasites. The biggest take away here is that Micah is a very broken man. And while I do not condone his actions or excuse them. I do understand why and what brought him to that point. This is why I like him. And I’m sure why many others do to. Micah is just a human. He made bad decisions and became a monster because of his circumstances. And it’s interesting to look into this character and what caused his down fall. Not to mention.... It’s all learned behavior. Meaning it can be unlearned. He just needed someone, anyone to give a fuck about him. All humans just want someone to care and Micah is a victim of his unfortunate life. So that’s my ted talk. Take it or don’t, that’s just the way I feel about it all. Micah is way more complex than people give him credit for. It honestly buggers me that people act like he isn’t. But sorry about the mouthful. ^^;;; I just really wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading!!!!<3

#Mun Posts #Cowpoke Korgi #written #character discussion #Micah Bell #RDR2 #red dead redemption 2 #cowboy #outlaw #western #old west #rat man #misunderstood rat #tw: trama #tw: parental abuse

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nossbean · 3 years

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Myrcella / Sansa Anon Here: Like Jaime and Brienne are both Beauty and the Beast, Myrcella and Sansa have the potential to be both Cinderella and the Prince/Knight. Myrcella a bastard disguised as a Princess and Sansa is a Princess disguises as a bastard. When the Starks fell, the old man could have written Myrcella as one of Sansa’s Protectors since she knows how to survive Cersei while when the Lannister’s fell from power, Sansa would give Myrcella a home. For cherry on top, Myrcella could 1/2

2/2 inherit Jaime’s sword skills and her desire to pursue that could be a way to escape being her mother’s mini-me, only valued for her looks, and toxic family as well as an attempt to gain some control over her life. I had more articulate thoughts on this but I wrote them down somewhere I can’t recall. In canon, you already have Arianne set up for the fairy godmother role and Brienne as a subversion of the typical stepmother. Either way, less creepy than any potential in-canon Sansa ships.

Honestly, anon, you persuaded me with these first two, but the absolute joy is that you came through with even more! I do wanna quickly say though that I support folx shipping who they ship and in whatsoever way brings joy, we’re all here for the love of the characters and the story after all <3

I am as ever at the moment, very late to the party, but I’m so glad you came back to share all this! A lot of what you’ve said by way of potentials has lived rent free in my head. I’m very into the fairy tale elements you’re describing (particularly noting Arianne as fairy godmother, and Brienne as a subversion of the typical (boring, sexist) fairy tale stepmother...!) and the incorporation of major themes that could be present in Myrcella’s arc (I’m poss wearing my clown shoes, etc, but I do think there’s a chance some of those could come to bear in the remaining books, with or without Sansa, so let’s hope) Your note about Myrcella inheriting Jaime’s sword skills set off a different thought in my head, that it would be interesting for her to instead pick up a lot of the knight’s code and utilizing it to her whims and needs, though without the fighting/sword skills element. There’s resonance and balancing there, then, with parts of Sansa’s arc, and also with themes in Brienne’s arc, and is again, a repudiation of much of what Cersei (and Joffrey) thinks and believes. Though am also very much here for more sword wielding ladies.

Anyway, onwards with the rest of your Sansa/Myrcella galaxy-braining:

Also, we know Myrcella wasn’t scared of Joffrey so we could have had Myrcella getting in his face to defend Sansa and having a tense stand-off. Plus, it would be a more explicit sign of Jaime and Cersei not being soulmates and gender swapped mirrors as the cruel and cowardly Joffrey being Cersei if she was a boy and brave and clever would be Jaime as a girl.

ANON. I am SO INTO playing with aligning Cersei with Joffrey and Jaime with Myrcella explicitly! It definitely could be there for the taking (that note about where did Myrcella and Tommen get their sweetness, I WONDER) but whether GRRM will take it... Things seem to be pointing Tommen-ward atm when it comes to possibilities with Jaime and his children, which is, idk, to be expected to a degree I guess. BUT ALSO, as is on the record, I’d really rather a sharp veer towards Myrcella instead (Tommen can come too I guess but centring Myrcella would be grand)

And also just: a Myrcella who takes on her brother (and by extension, Cersei) *on behalf* of Sansa would have been fucking incredible, and would absolutely have been particularly satisfying for the resonance it would have for Jaime’s later arc. And there’s every possibility Myrcella could have stood up for Sansa, or even if we frame it more as “against Joffrey”, at least at first. Also what you describe as being possible later by way of role reversal of who protects who, yes thank you please. Deeply into how that shapes Lannister-Stark relations and also honestly the potential impact on LSH storylines, in the event Sansa meets LSH in around the same time Brienne and Jaime are confronting her (I mean, that would substantially alter the timelines, possibly, but still!)

Also ALSO, Sansa being sapphic would better show the limits societal scripts have a person’s perceptions, agency, and ability to connect with others since her character is so influenced by storytelling, imagination, and societal roles. It would also expand her understanding of womanhood and femininity, paving the way to reconcile with Arya.

Into this, as well! Don’t really have much more to say than that, really XD Oh, only that Sapphic Sansa is very satisfying to say, hehe. Anon, I ask if you’ve read this excellent meta about Sansa? It’s a long read but a good one.

admittedly, Myrcella did luck out with getting the sweet, age appropriate, and non-creepy Trystane Martell as her canon love interest.

My cynical take here is that it isn’t coincidence that Myrcella lucked out with Trystane being sweet and being part of a family who (mostly?) wants her safe and happy not just because of her proximity to the Iron Throne but for her own sake, only to be almost certain to lose him, heh.

Sansa/Myrcella it could be about forgiveness, chosen families, breaking the cycles of violence and revenge, hope for the future, the importance of female solidarity, re-writing the future to include everyone.

Just here to say I am a sucker for each and every one of these themes, thank you.

Physical doubling is another shared feature of both Myrcella and Sansa’s stories. Everyone comments on how much Sansa looks like her mom and Littlefinger plans to unveil her identity using her red hair. Myrcella also looks like her mom and has a double in her cousin. Both are hurt and almost killed while in care of someone they should trust, Myrcella during the Queenmaker plot and Sansa with her Aunt Lysa.

Sansa’s themes of identity, self-preservation, perception, longing for something beyond your childhood home, the power and consequences of shaping stories through truth and lies can easily be mapped onto Myrcella.

Your Jaime and Myrcella post reawakened my dormant interest in Myrcella and Sansa, since Jaime is tasked with returning Sansa.

Again, mostly am just here for all this, particularly the potential theme sharing and how they could help one another through 😍🤩

Reading all this, I feel like you hit on one of the major things that GRRM fails with on the regular in ASOIAF, which is that women and girls... often like one another? Even when they’re, like, different from one another? 😱😱😱 And even if he didn’t want to pursue a shippy route, to your earlier point, there was plenty of room for friendship and solidarity between Sansa and Myrcella when they were both in KL, even with Myrcella being younger. There could be an added element wherein Myrcella goes behind Cersei’s back somewhat to do this, given Cersei would undoubtedly put the kibosh on it had she been aware - which again, would have had resonance later for that Jaime and Myrcella mirroring angle. Buuut that would require GRRM to recognize the power of relationships between girls and women, and I admit I remain stuck on the idea that apparently no woman or girl in Brienne’s life ever did anything but mock/deride her until Catelyn came along. I invite you to imagine that a small part of my soul is always howling to the heavens: NO ONE????????? (though this is, happily, an easily retconned detail, so my clown nose is honking that there may be even a throwaway note about some girl or woman in Brienne’s past in Winds, anyway, I digress)

I DUNNO, I’m trying to, like, contribute to this excellence but mostly I’m just picking up everything you’re putting down...!

And finally:

I don’t have a Tumblr, though I enjoy reading fic and people’s meta, so I forgot I sent that ask to be honest, haha.

Again, I’m sorry for how very, very late here, but I am so very glad you did...!!!!

#anonymoose #askbox #char: myrcella baratheon #char: sansa stark #ship: myrcella x sansa #meta: asoiaf #there's a lot here which gets to exactly the kinds of things i like about ships jfkldajhlkdaf #q'd #long post

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borathae · 3 years

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~Chapter 29~ I'm baaaack, sorry I was so busy with uni, actually still am but I just saw the Orange Ginger Chai Masterlist and got SO excited you don't understand. Sounds phenomenal. But back to chapter 29, I don't personally posess dom energy to this extent but well fuck i love that for oc (and jungkookie 👀), she a bad bitch, power to all the women ✊🏻

🖤 Lips On You - Maroon 5

This reminds me so much of the scene where they kiss against the fridge and jungkookie is a crying mess. I can see this especially playing right after the second chorus drops, that's when they first kiss. Then there's this short slower part that's when the whole burnt ramen thing happens and then the big drop at the end when they just say fuck it and it gets real steamy 👀 "Can't nothing get in between us, baby, we've been waiting on this moment for so long. You wanna be reckless, restless, right until tomorrow. Wait. When I put my lips on you I feel the shivers go up and down your spine for me, make you cry for me. When I put my lips on you I hear your voice echoing all through the night for me. Baby, cry for me."

🖤 Daisy - Ashnikko

Honestly this is self-explanatory, just oc being a dom. "You don't wanna see me bratty, pet the kitty, call me catty. Make your man call me daddy. [...] Fuck a princess, I'm a king. Bow down and kiss on my ring. Being a bitch is my kink. What the fuck else did you think? [...] It's gonna hurt, it'll sting. [...] I'm crazy, but you like that, I bite back."

🖤 Do Me - Kim Petras

Also very self-explanatory, the lyrics are so fitting. "Do me, do me, do me like that. Hurt me so good, make me wanna be bad. Give it to me, to me like that. Feels so good, got me coming right back. Touch me, touch me there, right there. Kiss it, lick it, flip it, leave your handprints on my ass, yeah. Won't get to the bed, to the bed. Counter, in the kitchen, bathroom, mirrors on the stairs, yeah."

🖤 needy - Ariana Grande

This just screams jungkook to me. "Lately, I've been on a roller coaster tryna get a hold of my emotions. But all that I know is I need you close. And I'ma scream and shout for what I love, passionate but I don't give no fucks. I admit that I'm a lil' messed up but I can hide it when I'm all dressed up. I'm obsessive and I love too hard, good at overthinking with my heart. How you even think it got this far? [...] And I can be needy, way too damn needy. I can be needy, tell me how good it feels to be needed. I can be needy, so hard to please me. I know it feels so good to be needed. Sorry if I'm up and down a lot. Sorry that I think I'm not enough and sorry if I say sorry way too much. You can go ahead and call me selfish but after all this damage I can't help it. But what you can trust is I need your touch." Some of those lyrics are giving me old jungkook vibes with which he's obviously still struggling with bc you can't just change your deepest issues like that. Like "I'm obsessive and I love too hard, good at overthinking with my heart" or "I can be needy, so hard to please me" which represent his jealousy issues which came from a place of love and hurt but are obvs still toxic. Or "You can go ahead and call me selfish but after all this damage I can't help it" this sounds a lot more taunting than what I interpret it like. It's not like "are you calling me selfish? 😡" it's more like "I know I am selfish for wanting you back 😔" which he used to say a lot and I imagine this lyric representing him struggling with being open with his feelings and associating his vulnerabilty with something negative. He calls himself "selfish" when he's actually just so in-fucking-love. He feels like he has to apologize for feeling bc he's not used to it being valid and he feels like there has to be a specific reason when sometimes you just feel without a real reason and thats valid too. Honestly while I'm writing this I'm not even sure if it makes sense lol

🖤 Better - Khalid

This started playing right when I was reading the whole thigh riding soft love making part and wow it fit perfectly. Well I mean technically the song is about two people that are not publicly showing their love for each other but the whole "nothing feels better than this part" and just the sound of the song is perfect for this scene imo. "Love to see you shine in the night like the diamond you are. I'm on the other side, it's alright, just hold me in the dark. [...] Nothin' feels better than this. Nothin' feels better, no, no."

OH MY GOD SONG ANONIE!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!! I WAS ALREADY WONDERING WHERE YOU WENT TO gosh I am so happy that you are back hehe!! 🥺🥳💜 now to the songs becAUSE 🥵

Lips on You - Maroon 5

I didn’t know this song before you recommended it to me and let me tell you, yes. This is excatly the type of song that plays in such a scene hngng and now I am thinking about them being all desperate and kissing each other and I am spiralling 🤧

Daisy - Ashnikko

I mean honestly that song is self-explanatory, this song is a jam and I am listening to it at least three times a day hahaha. This 100% fits the mood and the reader being all like “kneel for me” before she spits in her mouth hHAHAH byE I just remembered that she does that to Kook and now my mouth is watering hngngn 😩

Do Me - Kim Petras

👁👅👁 that’s all I am going to say here hgngngn. Listen especially the part with the kitchen counters. If that isn’t them using the entire apartment to fuck 🥵🤧 also omfg that part “you know my body, you don’t need a map” if that isn’t both of them realising how well they know the other and what they like 🥵

needy - Ariana Grande

He calls himself "selfish" when he's actually just so in-fucking-love. He feels like he has to apologize for feeling bc he's not used to it being valid and he feels like there has to be a specific reason when sometimes you just feel without a real reason and thats valid too

This just broke me holy fuck. I am without a doubt crying in my seat :( noooo this is so true and so sad and I am sad and I wanna give googie a hug and goddamn :( lisTEN I never even realised how well that song fits Jungkook and his inner struggles and now I will never be able to listen to it any other way 😭

Better - Khalid

I read the thigh riding part to get your full experience and now I am quAKING IN SAD hfahsdfha this fits so well. Gosh I can’t I am literally going through it 😭🤧 the melody and the slow beat, just *chefs kiss*

No joke song anonie I missed your recommendations so much and this right here made my entire day 🥺💜 seriously thank you for always sending in those amazing messages, the songs you chose really made my story feel far more alive and they added the spice, which it needed. So thank you and I really love you lots 🥺💜

#asks: purple rain #ost: purple rain #song anonie #anon #asks

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sighingsiren-tales · 5 years

Text

ZODIAC MEN

So, I haven’t really said it much here but I have been healing from something terrible and this was my way of healing. I love astrology and this is something that I may start permanently in addition to the fan fiction I write here. I hope you enjoy it~Kae

*Note, this is from the perspective of a Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Mercury, Virgo Venus and Rising and Scorpio Mars. (I’m a female)

ARIES

❌My middle school boyfriend. Ha, you still hit me up and tell me i look cute and how we’re gonna have kids from time to time, maybe even flirt with me here and there. can’t say i don’t like it the attention but that ship sailed long ago. Funny, a definite goofball, popular after his insecurity phase was over.

❌one of the first guys i fucked in college. lol you were fun, fun as hell. you were always easy going, funny and matched my energy relatively well but you were most definitely a fuckboy (sorry) you just liked pussy and women too much for us to ever work, assuming you even wanted us to work. You still tried to hit on me when i had a boyfriend (who was your roommate) and when you had a girlfriend. Bold as hell and he was h u g e.

❌ah, one of the few of your kind that I actually like on campus. loud personality but actually very timid. always asks me how to seduce people and tells me that I get what i want relatively easy. a ball of insecurities and emotion. learn your value king and get over that.

TAURUS

❌over emotional man child lmao sorry. you want someone to be your mother and hold your hand and i can honestly say no one has hurt me like you have. too self absorbed, needs reassurance, can’t be himself. drinks and smokes too much. navy dude.

❌one of my self proclaimed brothers. he’s a bit of a hard ass and a commitmentphobe but he has a big heart and truly acts like a second dad haha. i love him as a friend. caring, soft, funny, protective asf (especially of me), won’t let me walk back to my dorm alone.

❌my little brother. a pain in my ass. acts tough and hard, uses a lot of slang. needs attention and reassurance often. loves hard but can be annoying. told me he cared about me when i ran away. needs a healthier way to show his emotions. we butt heads a lot as kids. stubborn as hell. love you though kid

❌ahh, this one (he’s a cusp kid, 4/20 hehe blaze it). honestly a super hero. so caring and sweet but also kinky and your handprint is kinda still on my ass. i had a crush on you before you did. honest, respectful, loveeessssss his mom, has a lot of female friends (which makes me a bit jealous). anime buddy. patient, protective, a bit of a temper (it’s kinda hot), the best kind of man. can get me to open up but strengthen me at the same time?? my superman, the only man i don’t mind being vulnerable to. reminds me of an anime character. a warrior with a heart of g

GEMINI

❌fun while it lasted and i’m pretty sure i was your flavor of the month and you were mine as well. you were funny, and meshed with my energy well. didn’t last long in bed tho😬 your laugh was contagious. really good dancer. can’t hold a relationship for your LIFE. not good with emotions, a free spirit. kinda wishy washy. didn’t like it when i avoided hanging out.

❌quiet, had an intimidating presence. everyone thought you were scary but you were funny, logical and very headstrong. strong silent type. always opened up with me but no one else. has a “lone wolf mentality” strongest man i know. made me happy with who i am, gave the best advice. unmovable, easy going. the one i stay with at all family functions. a big chunk of my heart. love you big bro.

CANCER

❌absolute trash lmao. always attracted drama and stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. ultimate instigator. i think you just need a diary and a xanax. everyone said you tried to break up me and my (then) boyfriend?? cute but annoying. an acquired taste (and that’s me being nice)

❌my little baby brother. the sweetest thing upon planet earth. always asks me if i’m okay, comes to me when he’s sad and cried when i told him i was leaving for college. tells me he loves my hair and nails and always protects his big sis. always excited to see me. so smart, a damn genius actually. amazing with technology. i love you so much little man.

LEO

❌ahh my first love. so caring, tender, sweet but had too many scars and wounds for us to heal together. we made so many mistakes with one another but you were always trying to be my own personal naruto and, for a while, you were. and for those few months you were my everything. kept me going when i wanted to die. kissed my scars all the time. always bought me food. loved to spoil me. had a temper and hid his emotions. put everyone before himself too much. things ended bad and our egos clashed. i hurt you. i’m sorry. the last words we said to each other were good bye and i love you.

❌someone at college who wants to fuck me lmao. always hugs me really tight, stares me down in a way where i know he’s undressing me mentally. says love is bullshit but wants a happy ending and i know it. also also, you’re not fucking me lmao.

VIRGO

❌my summertime coworker. a party animal, mentally resilient and smart as all hell. we fooled around once lmao but it never got far. funny as fuck. never spoke about what he had going on but i know he was hurting. a perfectionist, a scammer.

❌sweet in a weird kinda of way. always asks if i’m okay. always asks if i need something, always willing to help. trusts me to make my own decisions and encourages me to think for myself and watch my back. hard working, quiet with bit of a hardshell. never lets anything dictate who he is. love you uncle.

LIBRA

❌my distant friends ex; wishy washy. not very good with commitment. really cute room and good fashion sense. pretty lips; respectful and honest fuck boy. made a move on me once after a party once. pops in and out of my life.

❌invited me to a gala once. loved the attention of having me on my arm. hated my ex. smoked weed a lot, easy going and soft spoken. never got angry, went along with anything. probably in jail or in some legal trouble right now.

SCORPIO

❌you wanna fuck me. lol i know you do and you’ve made it clear as the only thing you want me for. came up to my room and tried to barge in after i told you not to. kinda creepy. quiet. doesn’t say much. always seemingly where i am. in my same major, soooo tall, soft spoke voice.

❌oh boy. obsessive. possessive, jealous. we were good friends. then you fell in love with me. i didn’t think of you that way. you told me it was okay and then began to blow up my phone with messages, text my friends to ask where i was and blow up on me when i said we needed space and cursed me out. safe to say we don’t talk anymore. when i blocked you, you emailed me an apology and asked my friend to tell me you’re sorry and give me your letter. overthinks a lot. always needs to be in the know and/or control. consuming. reallll timid and unconfident. weed addict. total beta male.

❌you’re sexy. i’ll give you that. and you’re smart. you pop and out of my life. easy going. sweet. quiet, distant and a little annoying with your wishy washyness. i took your virginity 😬 lmao yikes. always around a group of females. nice hair, always played in mine. really funny and the times where you matched my energy it was magic.

SAGITTARIUS

❌lol uh i knew you in high school. went to harvard. super super attractive, very competitive and very funny. had a pretty chill vibe. i wanted to kiss you. had perfect teeth, the valedictorian of the class before me.

❌a hardass, lol. sees things like they’re black and white. has a funny side, hilariousssss but in a mean kind of way. doesn’t show much emotions but you know he cares. blunt. caring in his own way. took me to get my first tattoo. affectionate in a awkward pat back type of way. when he sees me sad, he helps best he can although that’s not always in the best of ways. helped me get through my grammy’s death. my dad.

CAPRICORN

❌ah the fwb that turned into my boyfriend. we should’ve never happened. i care for you but a relationship was a bad idea. we started based off sex. was fucking a lot of girls when when with me (9 of them lmao yikes 😬) aloof, funny, dorky, another anime buddy. thinks he knows everything, thinks he’s a god (literally), an emotional baby when it comes down to it. made me his reason and told me he loved me. i regret telling you i loved you too. gas s god complex and wants things to come to him with minimal effort.

❌ahh, you always had a thing for me. you and everyone else told me. held my umbrella for me while we walked in the rain. told me i was perfect, always promised that you’d marry me. pop in my life from time to time. down with anything.

AQUARIUS

❌ ahhh the forbidden fruit. distant, friendly, charming, a liar. very sexual, always complimented me and once told me he loved me(yikes). really cute, made me feel special, has been trying to get me for yrs. not sure if it’s just sex or if it’s more but not giving myself the chance to be hurt and find out. sometimes i wonder what we could’ve been but the drama attached to your back makes me think otherwise. i still think of you from time to time. great kisser.

PISCES

❌my self proclaimed older brother. really knowledgeable, wise, sweet, loves his girlfriend with all his heart. encourages me to open up. supports me the best way i need, not always want lol. funny, a meme lord, hilarious in a subtle way. knows he’s that bitch. has almost all female friends but still retains his masculinity perfectly stronger than he lets on. an absolute blessing. helped me learn to love who i was and to be open to living others.

❌a wanna be gangster. lmao wants to fuck me but not happening. a big ball of unsorted through emotions. needs to get over his toxic masculinity but soft, caring. a big ass baby. unfaithful and childish. needs to learn his self worth within himself. daddy issues.

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