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#i know ill have to fight the following four years

recuira · 7 months

Text

after hours

after hours : a live action buggy x fem!reader fanfiction

for some odd reason, you have no idea who he is. and he fucking loved that.

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chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five

chapter six | drunk. drool. darkness.

her pov;

I felt like an idiot. Like a fool.

When I came downstairs the following morning, with a pounding headache nearly blinding my vision, I spotted my mother collapsed on the couch rather than in her own bed. The kitchen was surprisingly clean, as well as the dining room table. She definitely didn't tidy up after that disaster of a night, so who did?

I walked past the stairs and into the kitchen, attempting to search for any kind of medicine to hopefully soothe the aching headache I had. I sorted through a kitchen cabinet before finding a small bottle of painkillers my mother was prescribed when her illness was first diagnosed. I placed two tablets in my mouth and dipped my head underneath the sink faucet, pouring a bit of water into my mouth to swallow the pills. Stepping back, I grabbed a pot from the stove, glaring at my sleeping mother.

I dropped it on the tiled floor.

In a split second, she shot up awake, groaning. "What the hell was that?!" She spat, grabbing her head while also covering her eyes.

"Good morning," I said as I forced a smile. I placed the pot back atop of the stove. "What happened last night?"

"Why the fuck should I know?" She cursed, laying back down.

"Where'd Buggy go?"

"Home?"

I frowned. I wasn't going to get any answers from her.

I ventured back upstairs into my bedroom where I could let my eyes settle in the cold and darkness. I closed the door behind me and approached my bed but before I climbed on it, I noticed a small green blur in the corner of my vision. Turning my head, I found the small turtle stuffed animal laying on the floor.

I treated my stuffed animals like they were living. To let them touch the floor rather than my own bed would be a sin.

Why was it on the floor?

Then it hit me.

Buggy threw it there.

I sat on my bed, holding the plushie close to my person. Last night, after dinner, I stormed up to my bedroom to be alone and to calm down due to the big fight my mother and I had. Then he came into my room to console me. Then-

"Oh my god."

I couldn't believe it. I practically threw myself onto him. Then he turned me down and after that, my mind drew a blank. I recalled vague bits here and there but the most clear occurrence was that of him leaving. Did I kick him out? Or did he leave willingly?

I touched my mouth with the stuffed animal. The feeling of his lips on mine was something I couldn't forget. For such a rough and rugged man, his lips and touch were so soft. I smiled to myself before falling onto the bed, my eyes drifting to a close.

Before I thought more about all of this, I needed to get rid of this headache.

-=-

I felt so stupid. Like a clown.

As I remembered more about the event, the more my self-esteem dropped. I never, in a thousand years, would have ever imagined myself getting drunk on red wine and then throwing myself onto a man with a red, clown nose. I frowned. His nose wasn't the issue. I liked him. I really did. He was kind and thoughtful for someone who used to be a bloodthirsty pirate. He went out of his way to please me which no one has ever done before.

And how do I thank him?

By making out with him and then kicking him out after he didn't reciprocate. I invite him over for dinner then throw him out.

This is why I hated alcohol.

It made stupid people do stupid things.

I was completely embarrassed with myself- so embarrassed, in fact, that I didn't reach out to Buggy for an entire month. How could I possibly be able to face himself after such an incident? Would I not mention it? Do I shake his hand and apologize and ask him to never bring it up again? Or do I kiss him again and see if my effort will mean something to him this time?

No, I'm an idiot. I ruined such a great friendship due to a few too many glasses of cheap red wine.

I blamed my mother for this entirely- and myself, of course. But if it weren't for her selfish and conniving personality, Buggy wouldn't have been invited for dinner. He and I would still be talking. I would see him everyday like I had been.

I vowed to my mother that as soon as I made enough money, I was moving out and cutting all ties with her. She simply laughed at me.

And so, for the past month, I kept my promise and sought out to look for jobs. Nothing dirty, of course.

I landed a waitress gig at a small run-down pub that hardly housed any customers other than drunken pirates and businessmen. I've only been here a few times before and it was the same pub I met Buggy at. Ever since that night, I haven't returned until today. The owner told me that the blue-haired piratehardly inhabited this bar which I was thankful for. I still needed to properly digest everything and when I was ready to confront him, I would. I just hoped it would be soon.

I was surprised to see that he didn't reach out either.

Maybe I scared him off.

As I cleaned off one of the tables, I tried to ignore the loud yells from behind me. Surprisingly, there was a huge flood of new patrons. My boss told me there was a soccer game and that's why everyone decided to eat and drink at the same place.

I didn't mind it too much. It meant more tips.

The rest of the night went by fast and just as we neared closing, I sat by myself in a corner booth, counting the change and money I made in just a few hours. One hundred and twenty berries. I smiled to myself, recounting to see if my math was correct.

Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen-

The bell above the door jangled as someone walked inside. I kept my head low and proceeded to count before I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"We're not closed yet, Y/N. Go assist that customer, please." The man pointed at a booth. "Now."

I huffed and stood up, slipping the loose change into a pocket in my apron. I grabbed the notepad and a pen and started towards the booth.

With a closed-eye smile, I greeted the patron. "Hello, what can I get for you tonight?

"Y/N?"

I opened my eyes and there he sat. "Buggy," I whispered.

I nearly cringed.

His long blue hair was tied in a loose ponytail with the same striped bandanna wrapped around his scalp. His makeup was streaking down his sweaty face. The buttons of his striped vest were misaligned with the wrong slots. His blue-painted fingernails were chipped. And the worst of it, he wrank of liquor.

He was swaying in his seat, his arms resting across the table.

"H-Haven't-" hiccup! "-seen you in a while," He smirked. "You miss me?" His words slurred and his green eyes were nearly swollen shut. I frowned at this and took a seat beside him, nudging him to the other side of the booth. He giggled and his arm lifted before slinging over my shoulder.

"What's going on?" I whispered, hoping my boss wouldn't see me.

"What? Nothing!" He murmured.

"You're shitfaced. Why?"

"I dunno'. Got bored..." Buggy hummed and smiled up at me. His fingers began to mess with my hair. "Yer' working now?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Well, I wouldn't know! I haven't seen you in years..." He pouted.

"It's been a month."

"Whatever. Get me a beer, will ya?"

I laughed. "No! You're already too far gone. I'll get you a water." I pulled myself away from him and stood up, making my way behind the counter. Pouring him a glass of water, I watched as he proceeded to hiccup, playing into the drunkard stereotype all too well. Why was he like this? I've never seen this before. Why did he drink so much? As I approached him, he reached for me. I whacked his hand away and slid the cup toward him. This time, I sat across from him.

He glared at the drink before chugging it all, some water dripping down his stubbled chin. I crossed my arms and examined him. He was a complete and utter mess. It almost disgusted me to see him in this light. Someone I respected so much was now stooping to the same level as my mother.

"Buggs, what's happening here?"

"What?" He tilted his head. "Yer' supposed to be my waitress. You haven't taken my order yet," The pirate grumbled, reaching to grab at the paper menu. He squinted his eyes as he read it. "Get me a sandwich. With... uhm, oh! Meat, cheese, and lettuce." He met my gaze and smiled widely, exposing every single tooth.

"Not until you tell me what's going on," I demanded, pointing down at the table. "Is this some ploy to get back at me?"

"W-What? Back at you?" He snickered. "Yer' cute, kiddo."

"Don't call me that."

"Cute or kiddo?"

"Both."

"What would you rather me say?" He smirked and leaned forward, gesturing his hand for me to get closer. I did, also leaning in. "Your- hehe, your tits look amazing in that top?"

I gasped and pushed him back. "Fuck you!"

"What?! Which would you rather me call you?" He pursed his red-stained lips together.

"By my fucking name, you idiot."

"Okay! Y/N," He started, letting out a soft burp. "Where's my sandwich?"

"You'll get it once you start talking."

"I've been talking! I can't win with you." His eyes rolled. "Women."

I hit him atop of the head this time and he yelped, immediately shrinking down as his arms hovered over his head.

"You're the one who kicked me out! Why are you still acting so mad... I'd think you'd be happy to see me again, but- but, I was wrong..."

"I am happy to see you but-"

"You are? Really?" The look on the clown's face broke my heart. He was so surprised, so shocked to find out that I missed his company. “I-I’m glad.” His head dropped for a moment and he looked down at his lap. “I’ve been, uh, g-going through a lot.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it.” He let out a loud hiccup then clutched his throat. “That one hurt.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

His broad shoulders shrugged back. “Maybe I will. I just need something- uh, something to eat.”

Getting something in his stomach might help him sober up fast but my mom always told me that the only way to sober up was through time. “I’ll get you something to eat.”

“Now?”

“Yes, right now.”

I got up from the table and began to walk toward the kitchen but a floating hand grabbed at my wrist. It gave my arm a tight tug before I looked back at Buggy. I raised an eyebrow but he just gave me a toothy grin then let go. Venturing into the kitchen, I let the chef know that it was the last meal of the night. He was reluctant because it meant he needed to put out his cigarette but he gave me a firm nod and told me to wait a couple of minutes. I agreed with him then went to peek on the blue-haired clown. He rested his head on his hands, his eyes closed. His long eyelashes casted a dim shadow over his eyelids. His lips parted, a small drop of drool running down his chin. Was he asleep?

Before I could admire him any further, the chef tapped on my shoulder and handed me the tray of food. A sandwich sat upon the plate with potato salad to the right of it. I thanked him and brought the meal to Buggy. I set it in front of him then took a seat.

“Buggy?” I nudged his shoulder. “Your food is here.”

“I’m not hungry.”

What? “What? You just said you were.”

“I lied. I want to go home.”

“Then why did you come here?”

“Because the other bar kicked me out ‘cause I had too much to drink,” He mumbled into his arm. “I wanted to drink more but then I- I saw you. So I wanted to stop.”

“You stopped drinking because of me?”

“I was drinking because of you.”

I furrowed my eyebrows together. What was he babbling about now? Before I could protest, he reached forward, grabbing half of the sandwich with a severed hand. He raised his head and took a bite. He chewed for a few seconds then swallowed. He ate the half then slid me the plate. So much for not being hungry.

I smiled to myself and started to eat, taking the last sip of the glass of water I had brought to him. I finished eating then wiped my mouth with a napkin.

Taking a few bills out of my pocket, I placed it on the table to cover the meal.

But then it hit me.

I could pay him back.

“Buggy, I have great news,” I exclaimed with a wide grin and pulled the loose change out of the apron pocket, the various coins rocking against the table before falling flat. The pirate sat up, a yawn escaping his mouth.

“What?”

“I can pay you back now! I have more than enough!”

“I don’t want you to,” He whispered, sliding it toward me. “I have more than enough. You’re the one who needs it, not me.”

“But you said I could pay you back. That was our deal.”

“Y/N-“

“Take the money, Buggy. Please.”

His green eyes met mine for a split second before he reluctantly gave in. He swiped the money toward him and folded the bills before hiding them away in his pocket. I smiled at him, taking the change he didn’t want to keep.

I looked at him, staying quiet. Was he already sobering up? He was talking normally now; he was hardly slurring his speech. “Can I walk you home?”

He cocked a grin. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Please?”

“Yeah, sure. Alright.”

I clocked out of work and helped Buggy out of his seat. On the walk back to his abode, Buggy leaned against me. My arm wrapped around his shoulders as I guided him down the street. He stumbled with each step and if it weren't for me, I was sure he would've fallen. The man relied on me heavily.

The front door opened with a loud bang. A wave of cold air brushed over me and I shivered. The pirate buried his face into my neck. A red blush washed over my face before I helped him onto his bed. He giggled to himself and extended his foot. I raised an eyebrow.

"Take my shoes off, please." He whispered, his body falling back to lay flat on the bed with his leg still straight out.

I knelt down and slipped each of his boots off. I set them to the left of the nightstand. Standing up, I closed the front door and dropped my backpack beside it. I approached the man and took a seat upon the edge of the bed, turning to look down at him. His eyes were closed. "Buggy, I'm gonna get going now. We can talk tomorrow, okay? When you're sober," I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper. “Do you need anything before I go?” I was met with silence. I let out a small huff, my hand resting on his leg. I caressed it. I then pulled my hand away but before I could stand up, his hand took my wrist and he gripped it, tightly. I looked back at him. He was now sitting upward.

"Please, no. Please stay the night," He begged, lunging forward. His head fell into my lap and his arms wrapped around my waist. "Don't leave again. Please."

I froze. My eyes grew wide, my arms levitating above the man.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I nodded my head even though he couldn't see me. "Okay, okay." I dropped my hands to rest on his back, tenderly stroking the fabric of his vest. He let out a satisfied hum and remained completely silent. While it wasn't the most comfortable position, I stayed still because it was cozy for him.

I've never seen him in this mood before. I thought alcohol would make him an angry man, maybe rather devious or feisty, but no. It made him sad. It made him vulnerable. Alcohol took his rough exterior and melted it away, revealing a soft side I've never seen before.

His face nuzzled into my thigh.

I listened to his light breathing and brought my hands up to run through his thick blue hair. I was surprised his hair was so long. It was nice, though. It was silky smooth as well.

"Y/N," Buggy whispered into my leg.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for disappointing you."

A frown stayed on my face. I felt my eyes and nose sting. "What?"

"I've done nothing but trouble you. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I would be this much of a burden in your life. I thought I could help but-"

"What are you going on about?"

His head raised and revealed a soaking wet face. A stream of tears ran down his face, his makeup smearing even more than before. I gasped. He sniffled and grimaced. "I look so stupid, don't I?"

"You don't, Buggers. I'm just trying to figure out why you're crying," I whispered, raising my head to cup his cheek. He leaned into my palm and gave me a small, sincere smile. This was hurting my heart.

"We haven't spoken in a month."

"I know, I know. It's my fault, I-"

"Did you just not want to see me anymore?"

I instantly shook my head. "No, no, no. That's not it at all." I wiped a few tears away with my thumb.

"I thought I fucked up so badly," He started, taking a deep breath. "When you came onto me like that, I felt time stop. Literally nothing else mattered to me in that moment other than you. I didn't even fucking care if my heart stopped beating. If being with you was my last moment alive, I'd die a happy man." I sucked in my lower lip, my eyes burning more. "But it felt wrong. You were drunk, p-probably for the first time in your life. I didn't want to take advantage of that. You weren't thinking straight at all. I-I didn't want you to-to regret it the next morning."

"Buggy-"

"You have no idea- no fucking idea how badly I've wanted that. Since the very moment I've laid my eyes on you, I realized there was nothing more I could ever want. You're perfect. A literal angel." I wanted to tell him he was wrong but he continued to speak, making my heart both ache and jump. "My life was so dark before you. I was blinded by greed and-and hatred. I was a cruel man. But seeing you smile, I forget what for, but your smile erupted something in me. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about anything else in life other than you. I did some fucked up shit and I feel like you have a right to know." He swallowed then turned his head, facing away from me.

"What do you mean?" Those words scared me.

"Look in the nightstand. There's a book, I think it's the second one. Open it and see for yourself." He sat up and pulled away from me, wiping his nose and eyes. "No more lies or secrets. I want to be completely open and honest with you about everything. If our friendship continues, then I want honesty. You deserve that."

"You're scaring me, Buggy," I murmured and leaned forward, reaching for the drawer. I yanked it open and sorted through the stack of novels. I grabbed the second one and set it in my lap. "Can I just say-"

"No, please look. I need your opinion on me after you see this."

I was horrified.

What was so revolting in this book that he felt the need to hide?

I looked at him, frowning, before dropping my head. I admired the cover of the novel before peeling it open. My eyes widened.

"Read it out loud," The man instructed as he toyed with his bottom lip. He stared at me, not even seeming to blink.

My thumb dragged over the paper to smooth out the crumpled words. “She has the kindest smile. Her generosity is beyond that of anyone I know. She makes me believe in the good of humanity again." I repeated as I read the sentences scattered on the small note of paper. I smiled to myself. "Did you write-"

"Read the next one."

"I've never wanted something so badly in my life. To say I yearned for her would be a complete understatement. I longed for her, I yearned, I desired- In simple terms, I wanted her. I mean, how could I not? She was an angel. She was a siren. I would purposely listen to her enchanting song, allowing my boat to crash, just if it meant I could be graced by her presence, by her beauty. I was obsessed with her. If she found out my thoughts, my desires, she would never let herself be seen with me. I wouldn't blame her, though. I was obsessive. It was unhealthy, I knew that. But I didn't care. I wouldn't say I loved her because I didn't know what that felt like. I've never experienced it. But perhaps I did love her. I didn't know, I couldn't tell. All I knew was that she was the only treasure I wanted. Not the One Piece, no. Not even that could match up to her alluring person. If I had to travel every sea in order to find her, battle every sea snake in order to touch her, I would. I would in a heartbeat." I felt my lower lip quiver as salty tears began to cloud my vision. I used my free hand to rub my eyes before I continued. "A-And she caused me to see the world in color. Everything was so bland and dry but the second I saw her, I could see the blue in the sky and the pink petals of cherry blossoms. I could see the light at the end of a tunnel. If I was drowning, I know she would be able to rescue me just from her words of encouragement."

"Do you get it now?" He asked, placing his hand on my knee.

"You like me?" I asked, hesitant.

"What? Really?" He said with a weak laugh. "Of course I do. But I've known you for so long, Y/N. Much longer than you knowing me. I've followed you before, s-stalked you."

I gasped. Oh. I didn't get that from the writings. "You did?"

"Yeah, I did. I've been scheming for months. Trying to figure out how to talk to you o-or get you to say hello to me. Then at the bar-"

"I said hello to you. Were you there because of me?"

"Yeah, it wasn't mere coincidence."

"Woah," I said in awe, my facial expression or tone of voice hiding how I was truly feeling. "That's- wow."

"If you want to leave, I understand. It's a lot, I know. But I promise I've never properly stalk- well, I-I don't know. I just saw you and I knew I needed to know you. I needed you in my life."

"When did you first see me?"

"A fish market. You were giving a kitten some of the scraps."

"I don't even remember that," I admitted with a light chuckle.

"I'm not a creeper pervert or anything, I swear. I've-"

"Buggy, stop panicking. I'm flattered, if anything. I don't hate you. I don't think differently of you either."

He leaned into me, his red nose touching the tip of my own. He wore a wide smile on his face. "Really?" I nodded my head and rested my hand atop of his.

"It's a lot to take in but I'm not creeped out. I just- I had no idea."

"There's a reason I still have a bounty,” He remarked.

I laughed softly. "Very true."

"Do you understand why I was so worried? I thought all of that progress was wasted. I did want to, I really did. God, I wanted to, but-" The man continued to ramble on before I pressed my palm to his red-painted mouth. He wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm glad you didn't stay. Genuinely, I would have regretted it. Not because of you, but because I would want to remember a moment like that. I never want to drink again so I can be fully aware of everything we do together," I said as I removed my hand. "I didn't contact you because I was embarrassed with myself. I felt like an idiot. I thought I completely ruined everything. I also wanted to properly deal with my emotions. I wanted to figure out what I felt."

"And what do you feel?"

"The same as you do, though maybe not as extreme."

The pirate cracked a cheeky grin and nudged me.

"But I don't want to rush anything, please. If we do decide to do anything," I cleared my throat. "I want to take things slow. I moved too fast that night and look what happened."

"No, no, yeah. I feel the same way. No rush."

"Do we have a deal?" I extended my hand.

"A deal for what?"

"To do this but take things slow."

"To do what?"

"Buggy, you know what I mean."

"I want to hear you say it."

I huffed and pulled my hand back before he quickly grabbed it and gave it a firm shake. "We can go further with our relationship. How is that?" I smiled.

"Hmm, what do you mean? I'm a little slow, you'll need to spell it-" I kissed him for a split second then pulled back. The expression on his face was priceless. "That's pretty self-explanatory,” He hummed, grinning.

"Good."

"Can I do it again, though?" His hand reached to cup my chin.

"Once," I whispered.

Buggy closed the gap, tilting his head to be able to kiss me properly. It was short but sweet. When he pulled away, he fell against me, his forehead resting on my shoulder. My arms enwrapped his figure and I pulled him close. "Are you tired?" I asked, playing with his ponytail.

"Mhm," He responded, a soft yawn parting from his lips. "You're still staying the night, right?"

"Yeah, I am."

The blue-haired man pulled away from me and swept his legs over the side of the bed "I'll sleep on the floor, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

I grabbed his arm. "Nonsense, it's okay. I get the left side, though."

Buggy grinned, nodding his head. "Yes, ma'am."

I peeled my shoes off, setting them next to his as he began to unfold the sheets. He pulled the blankets back and climbed underneath them. I crawled beside, pushing my legs under the thin blankets. Turning to face Buggy, I tucked my arm under the pillow.

"I'm sorry for being like this, by the way. For being drunk."

"It's okay, just try to stop. If it's okay."

"It is," He whispered while stretching his arm out, slyly letting it sling over my waist. I smirked.

"You were kind of funny, though."

"How so?"

"Slurring your words, repeating yourself, tripping everywhere."

"What can I say? They don't call me a clown for nothing."

"I think the nose and makeup gave you that reputation."

"Nose?" He cocked an eyebrow upward.

"D-Did I say nose? I meant, uh, your hair!"

"Mhm, sure." Buggy tugged me toward him, my face coming into contact with his chest. He let out a groan as he made himself comfortable. "I hope this isn't moving too fast. I'm cold."

"No, this is perfect," I replied with a sheepish smile.

My eyes closed and I shrugged my shoulders back while exhaling a sigh. I was cold but the warmth of his body soothed my goosebumps. I rested my forehead against his abdomen and felt myself beginning to drift off. His chin plopped upon my head and his hand combed through my hair.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" He whispered, his voice raspy as exhaustion took over.

"We'll figure that out when tomorrow arrives. For now, I need sleep."

"Do you work tomorrow?"

I shook my head, whispering a simple 'no'.

"Sorry, I'll let you sleep."

I smirked to myself and tucked myself closer into him.

"Sweet dreams, Y/N," He mumbled as he kissed atop my head.

With those words and the sound of his heartbeat and breathing, I found myself falling asleep. I ignored the stench of alcohol coming from his person and focused on everything else I enjoyed about him.

In one last resort to get comfortable, I turned over, pressing my back against his front. My legs entangled with his and his arm slipped underneath my own. He held my hand.

The last thing I remember was him placing a kiss on the back of my head and then I fell unconscious.

#buggy x reader #buggy smut #buggy #x reader #op buggy #one piece live action #captain buggy #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #buggy the genius jester #opla buggy #one piece buggy #buggy opla

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sunlightmurdock · 5 months

Text

The Odyssey | 1.0 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

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Bradley spends the night. Venice changes things.

Warnings: enemies to lovers, power imbalance (professor / student relationship), age gap (22 / 33), swearing, infidelity, explicit pictures, making out, arguing, deception, 18+ minors dni, wc: 5.2k

…

“Sure,” There’s this underlying feeling that he should feel more awkward about this than he does. If he thought too hard about it, he would certainly start to consider the more embarrassing side of the predicament he has found himself in. “If you want.”

When the main focus of his day, for the past four years, has been sex in its various forms, it comes to be such a natural topic, that sometimes Bradley forgets that it’s a taboo. Well, he had been able to forget, until he came across you.

He must be out of his mind. Something to do with the phase of the moon, or his sleeping patterns, or… just the way you’re fucking looking at him. Your skin flushed with heat. He can see you’re warm without touching. Those soft sounds you made for him are fresh in his mind.

You’re sitting on the bed in front of him, one knee crossed over the other in your sweet, patterned wrap dress, staring up at him with eyes teaming with curiosity, and shame. So much, all at once. He can see you, sitting there and making it so complicated, frightening yourself.

It’s all so simple, really. He just wants to make it simple for you.

He starts by clearing his throat and shooting a glance downward at his tented jeans. “You don’t have to touch—“

“I just want to see… one… up close.” You tell him, heat spreading across your cheeks as you lift your gaze to look him in the eye. The sound of your own desires out loud is something that makes you shudder. You pull back slightly, and shift against the bed.

Bradley’s eyes dart downward again, at the pried open zipper, torn loose belt, and the straining bulge in his jeans, then presses his lips together in a moment of silent consideration.

With you, he has never been so unsure of himself.

“How long have you been engaged for, again?” He asks you, bringing a hand up to scratch awkwardly at the back of his neck. Your eyes widen just slightly. Not because you’re a woman being reminded of her infidelity, something else entirely. Something about Malcolm, Bradley just knows it.

“Alright, alright,” Bradley sighs, considering briefly how a person should go about this. His art classes come to mind — he stood naked pretty freely then, this is no different to that. Except he wasn’t supposed to be hard in those classes. “Don’t feel like you have to do anything.”

You push yourself upright as he steps off of the bed and squares his shoulders slightly. Hands settled politely in your lap and your posture perfect, Bradley can’t pretend he isn’t a little bit thrown off. It doesn’t change anything.

Sex and curiosity are natural forces, and neither one are something to be ashamed of. He feels like he’s convincing himself of that more than anything.

Your attention is caught by the light from the lamp catching on the gold of his necklace as he stands up a little straighter, and then promptly torn away as he pushes his jeans and boxers down in one slow movement. And there it is. In your peripheral, you’re expressly aware that it’s there, in all of its aggressiveness. You fight not to just stare.

Following the line down his sternum and across the taut, tanned skin of his stomach, across plains of soft brown hair, your eyes grow wide once again. Then, you squint. He watches you fight to control your expression.

The question is written, quite clearly, all over Bradley’s face. He’s wondering how you have managed to be in a relationship for as long as you have, without seeing a penis in the flesh. But you have. You’re not that naive — and Malcolm isn’t that pliant.

You inhale slowly, staring at what is directly in front of you. Bradley’s body is unassuming under those ill-fitting clothes, but not once he’s out of them. Far from it, in fact. Another time, you might have spent more time looking at the big picture, exactly how Herculean Bradley’s body looks. For now, it’s hard to focus on anything but what’s between his legs.

Bradley hasn’t ever felt this fidgety with his clothes off before. Your gaze on him makes him nervous — and that’s weird — he can’t remember the last time a woman made him nervous. Actually, he can, but that was a long time ago.

Your eyes look dark in the dim illusion of the dust-brushed lamp, and the streetlights outside. A thatch of neatly-trimmed dark hair sits across his pelvis, following down from the line of his navel, sitting perfectly between the two deep V’s that trail from his hips.

There’s a moment before you remind yourself to feel some shame in the unabashed way you’re staring at him like some kind of drooling loon. Blinking, you lift your chin and look him in the eye, pressing your thighs together.

He isn’t looking at you like there’s something wrong with you. After observing the almost perverse way you were studying him, he’s watching you with nothing in his eyes but faint amusement.

You know instantly that he wouldn’t hold this against you. Anything you chose to do, or not to do, he wouldn’t feel any differently about you either way. You’re certain. That doesn’t change anything. You sigh and lean back on your palms.

“You’re circumsized.” You note.

His mouth twitches as he pulls his jeans back up to cover himself again. “It was all the rage in ‘53.”

Your brows scrunch together just slightly, watching him buckle his belt. “You’re older than Sports Illustrated, you know that?”

Bradley seems to think for a moment. He can’t pretend to have been familiar with Sports Illustrated in his childhood more than seeing it being read by fathers of friends that he had.

“How do you know when that was? — Didn’t peg you as a fan.” Bradley reaches around you for his shirt.

“I wrote a piece on it in my Freshman year. It was my first Ivy League perfect score.” You tell him, but when he turns, you aren’t smiling. His mouth pulls down at the corners as he sinks fo his knees in front of you, brushing his fingers softly over your cheek. “My father tore it to shreds. He was so angry about what I had written.”

Bradley sets his shirt on the ground and squeezes your knee softly. “What was it about?”

“Daddy has been an investor in the magazine since 1961,” You explain to him, your mouth finally twitching up into a small, less-than-amused smile. Bradley’s thumbs circle soft patterns along your thighs. “I wrote a case study into the swimsuit issue, and the argument that it presents women as a product for consumption. He was furious. I thought he was going to throw his dinner at me.”

Bradley’s face changes. He doesn’t like the way you’re telling him this with a smile on your face. But, he isn’t going to start an argument about your father tonight.

“Which side of the argument did your essay fall on?” He asks, lifting his chin to look at you. You smile at him, and shrug your shoulders.

“I thought it was a dirty magazine then, I think that it’s a dirty magazine now.”

Bradley huffs out a small sound of amusement and lets his head fall forwards to rest against your knee. “One of these days, I’m going to get a real answer out of you. You know that?”

He wants to know more, and the idea for once doesn’t terrify you. Your mouth tugs at a smile as he kisses your leg softly.

“Will you still stay tonight?” You ask him, lifting your chin to look up at his face. He makes a soft sound of consideration, then pulls a face. “Please?”

“Okay.”

It’s strange, and you know that Bradley would think so, that you have never shared a bed with a man overnight before. Back in Ithaca, you’ve got a spacious off-campus room in a three bedroom apartment that your father pays for and never visits. Malcolm could stay over ever night for all anyone else knows.

But, you have never invited him to.

It would be cruel to make Bradley sleep in his clothes, you know that too. So, when you come back from the bathroom with the taste of peppermint toothpaste on your tongue, and slip into bed beside him, you try to be prepared for it.

It’s not so bad. It’s a mild night, the window is cracked and there’s a chilled breeze passing through the room. Bradley’s bare arm is warm as yours grazes it. Reaching out blindly, you flick the bedside lamp off without opening your eyes.

Beside you, Bradley’s mouth pulls at the corners.

“Are you going to stay over there all night?” He asks into the dark. He hears you fidget, your skin brushing against the sheets.

“Yeah.”

He snorts a soft chuckle and turns onto his side, draping a heavy arm across your middle, curling his fingers around your hip. Your muscles spasm and your middle goes rigid as he drags you unceremoniously closer to him, leaving you with no choice but to consider how he feels without his clothes on.

Arms straight, practically statuesque, your attempts to remain still fail as the knuckle of your ring and little fingers graze the white cotton of his boxers.

His warm breath fans across your shoulder as he pulls you closer, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. “Relax, honey. It’s just me.”

His palm splays open across your front, his bare chest firm against your back. Calvin Klein white cotton boxers are loose, and breathable, and through the dark your mind instantly takes you back to what you saw earlier.

Wetting your lips with your tongue, you close your eyes and will yourself to settle. Behind you, Bradley doesn’t seem to be having the same struggle. You can hear his breathing growing deeper, his weight leaning into you just a little more.

The Polaroid picture. His thick thighs bracketing Natasha’s naked chest. Her lips parted into a perfect circle. You think of how he made you feel earlier, him grunting into your skin as his hand worked under the thick denim of his jeans.

“Why’s your heart beating like that?” Bradley mumbles into the curve of your neck, practically making you jolt out of your skin against him. “Hey, hey… are you alright?”

His hand strokes softly at your arm as he lifts his head and tries to lean forward to get a peek at your face.

“Mhm,” You squeak softly, closing your eyes and pressing back against him. “I’m fine. Goodnight.”

His lips quirk through the dark of the room as he hugs his arm tight around your middle, turning his face into your skin and kissing softly at your neck.

You don’t wake with the sunrise, or with the sound of an alarm. Instead, you wake with a tingling in your legs, and skin against your cheek. Your thigh is slotted between Bradley’s, he’s got one arm cradling you to him, and he’s snoring softly in your ear.

Even with a soft groan, and the attempt to stretch your arms, Bradley doesn’t budge. His warm chest rises and falls against your cheek, the smell of his skin drawing you in like a lullaby. Sleep threatens to come for you again, but you can hear birds chirping. It’s got to be time to get up soon.

He must be on the verge of consciousness himself, hugging you closer, turning his nose toward your hair, nuzzling into your skin.

“Bradley?” You hum. Nothing but birds chirping, breeze from the city outside. “Bradley?” As you nudge him, there’s nothing again.

Pushing against his chest, you wriggle free of his grasp and prop yourself on your palm. He blinks, face pulling into a frown as he lifts his head to look around him.

“What’s up? — What time is it?” He mutters, his voice deep with sleep as his brown eyes try to focus through the morning light. You don’t know, and you make no effort to check. Instead, you lean forwards and kiss his lips. One soft peck, your palm bracing against the hot muscle of his chest.

He hums out a pleased noise, following you onto your back and pressing his weight against you, challenging you with a deeper kiss. Bradley kisses you again, just as soft. Building into it with gradually modern generous pecks. His hands bunch at your nightgown, taking advantage of his new shorter length to shove it up around your waist without issue.

Suddenly, it doesn’t matter what time it is anymore. Or that he never rejoined the group last night. Nothing matters but the way his weight feels on top of you, his warmth grounding you into the mattress, his taut stomach pressing against your soft skin as he slots his thigh between yours.

There’s something familiar about it, creeping at you like a chill. His hands are strictly stuck to the safest parts of your body: your thighs, your waist, your face. He’s kissing you so passionately that you’re dizzy with the sense of him, and he’s so gentle with his hands — but there’s a discomfort itching at you that just won’t leave.

Then, the alarm clock on the bedside table rings out loud. He pulls back with a soft breath.

“I… I should go.” He realizes, trying not to commit too much attention to his half-hard cock pressing into your thigh. You swallow softly, trying to do exactly the same.

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you this afternoon.” He presses one more chaste kiss to your lips. As he busies himself with getting dressed, you’re certain that you should be overcome with shame of the things you’ve gotten up to so far. The feeling just doesn’t come. Some grand delay, or perhaps you’ve turned a page, but you can’t find it in you to mind either.

The itinerary for the day is changed by Natasha’s sudden appearance, just like everything else has been. With her and Doctor Mancini being in town, Bradley seemed to think that their insight would be useful for the group. As he walks into the lobby ten minutes later than he should be and spots her standing with her arms folded, looking at you like dirt on her shoe, he starts to think that he was wrong.

“Ah, here he is! — Good Morning, Bradley.” Pasquale greets with a grin, patting Bradley’s shoulder as the professor joins the group. “Well, we’ve already gone over the briefing and we’ve got a lot to see today. Let’s get going!”

Bradley agrees with a nod and gestures for the group to walk ahead of him. The sun is already high in the sky and warming the city, the breeze is slow today, barely there. It’ll be worse when they move further inland after this.

He pushes one hand into his pocket and sweeps his damp curls back with the other. Ray-Ban caravans and a t-shirt that would only fit right if he was a size bigger, sports socks peeking over the top of his eye tops. He dresses younger than thirty-three and he’s always been gorgeous.

Natasha walks by his side, staring at the back of your head with contempt. Cute outfit you’re wearing. She wonders if the man who put a ring on your finger would like it.

“So, did you take her virginity?” She asks coolly, meaning it with every ounce of venom with which she had spit it. She hadn’t really taken great comfort in hearing the way your peers had mocked you last night. Just because you apparently won’t put out for you fiancé, doesn’t mean you are immune to Bradley’s charms.

“No.” He answers, lengthening his stride. He doesn’t care to learn which one of them told her about you.

“This is a new low. I can’t believe you’re being this stupid.” She shakes her head, crossing her arms firmly over her chest as she walks.

All at once, Bradley stops walking and rounds on her. She wobbles, her expensive loafer dipping between the cobbled floor and making her wobble. “Me? — What the fuck were you trying to pull with those pictures?”

When he’s up close, standing under the summer sun and staring at her, it’s so easy to pretend. Looking into his eyes, he never hurt her. She never hurt him. She’s still his girl, they’re still planning to spend the afternoon laying in bed, reading.

It’s the only time that she doesn’t miss him.

“You know how this goes. Things in Como — we didn’t — I had more that I needed to say.” Bradley leaves every year hating himself for letting her get away, and it’s the only thing that brings her solace. She’s just supposed to watch him move on?

“That’s your problem, Nat, you don’t know how to talk to me until we’re naked. This isn’t healthy.” He bites back, unfazed as a crowd of Belgian tourists turn to stare wide eyed at the two of them.

“Don’t tell me what’s healthy, Bradley, you’re fucking one of your students!” She snaps, her voice practically a low snarl. Still, she has the decency to have lowered her voice. He forgets — she’s classy now.

“I’m not fucking her.” Bradley, truthfully, doesn’t have a leg to stand on. You tried to sleep with him and he told you no, but only because you weren’t ready. If you were, he can’t pretend that he wouldn’t have.

“Please. I saw the way you ran after her.”

“My sex life is none of your business. Does Luca know you’re here because I am? — Did he forgive you yet?” September through to May, Bradley thinks a lot about the time he spent loving Natasha. Guilt wracks his entire being. He finds himself furious for the time he cost her. And yet, standing in front of her, this conversation always winds up being the same.

Her eyes widen. He promised not to bring last summer up. Last august, when Bradley visited after his students went home, and Luca caught the two of them in bed together. He had almost left her.

“Does that poor little girl even kno—“

“Don’t call her that.” Bradley sighs, rolling his head back towards the old roofs and clear skies. The idea makes him so uncomfortable. It’s easy to forget, when he’s not looking at you in the backdrop of your college town, that you’re much younger.

“Does she know what a vindictive prick you can be, Bradley?”

Yes. She spent half of the trip so far arguing with me. Bradley doesn’t give her the real answer. He hasn’t in a long time. There’s a pause between the two of them. Venice doesn’t slow down for anyone. The city bustles around them while Bradley turns his gaze back down towards her.

“I’m sorry. You know that I’m sorry.” He says quietly. She stares at him. He can see it in her face that she’s fighting not to stand and scream. Instinct drives him forwards. It’s muscle memory as he reaches out and takes her face in his hands. “But we can’t keep doing this.”

Her jaw flexes against his palms, anger burning through her the way that smoke fills rooms. Effortless, all-encompassing. Hard to stop.

“You should tell her now,” Natasha practically spits the words towards him. She doesn’t pull away from his touch. She only ever has once. She, one day, will again. She’s sure of that much. “That it’s always on your fucking terms. Give her a chance to get out while she fucking can.”

With that, she pulls away from him and yet again, he watches her go.

Bradley keeps his distance. He watches Doctor Mancini, a man who knows exactly who Bradley is and somehow, loves him even after, teach the class all morning. He doesn’t dare look at you, in those short, rolled up blue Levi’s shorts. Not until that afternoon, once you’re tucked away into a quiet study room in the Marciana Library.

You sit opposite him with one knee bent and your foot resting on the edge of your own chair, watching him quizzically. “Are you going to be this quiet all afternoon?”

He shoots a look across at you, his chin resting on his palm. Then, he looks back down to his work silently.

“Fine, I guess I’ll fail.” You huff playfully, sitting back in your chest and crossing your arms over your chest. This time when he looks, his eyes flicker down to your chest in that cute green tank top. He knows you’re taunting him. “It’s a real shame… to have come this far, and to just be abandoned…”

“Cut it out.” Bradley scoffs, taking his glasses off and dropping them into the centre of his page. He turns in his seat and looks across at you, suddenly cold.

“Alright, say what you want to say. The anticipation is killing me.” Your mouth twitches into a grin as you sit upright in your seat, scooting it across the aged wood to grow closer. He presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek, the sun shining through the light blue fabric of his linen shirt as he stretches his arms up and rubs harshly at his face.

“There’s something I need to tell you — something I did,” When he drops his arms down again, his eyes are focused on the chip in the years old floorboard, his fingers curling around your knee. You’ve never seen him this remorseful. “I want you to hear it from me.”

Blinking, you nod at him. You’ve never seen him look quite so scared.

“When we met, Natasha and I were both twenty-two. I was fresh out of the Navy, and Natasha was in her last year of university here,” He hasn’t ever been this fidgety before. He stares at the floor of the library, like his sole purpose is to count the grains in the wood. The sole of his sneaker taps out of rhythm.

Opposite him, you wonder exactly how his brain operates. There’s no need, really, for him to explain himself to you. Tomorrow, you’ll leave Venice and you will probably never see Natasha again. Yet, he seems to really want you to understand.

“She was one of the only people in town that spoke English, and she lived right downstairs. For the first two months, she just let me follow her around — I didn’t know what else to do,” There’s no way on Earth that Bradley can explain to you the way that he was feeling when he first got to Sorrento.

He was twenty-two, he had just left the Navy. His grandmother had died three weeks earlier. He was alone in the world, with no idea what to do with the rest of his life. He was angry that he had made it back from the war — furious that he had served for a further two years after that.

“She pulled some favours for me, I spent six months taking different classes around the country, trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Came back, and decided that I wanted to do with mine, whatever she was doing with hers.” The more he tells you, the more you can feel his guilt dripping through his words and saturating the air.

The room goes thick with quiet as Bradley sweeps his curls back and tousels his fingers through them. His hands can’t seem to find peace, never stilling as he immediately sits back to dip a hand into his pocket and reach for his cigarettes.

This is the kind of situation that requires you to be quiet, you know that much. It’s not of conversation. He’s clumsy enough with his words, stumbling through them, losing his train of thought, that you don’t dare interrupt. You watch him pluck one from the pack and set the rolled stick between his lips.

Flicking open the top of his silver lighter, he ignites the end and inhales. Briefly, his eyes flicker up to yours. He hates talking about this.

“She wanted to be an archeologist. I was more into the literature side of things, but it worked. We connected. We moved in together three weeks after I got back.” He tells you. You give him a small nod. It ticks over into the afternoon, and behind you a church bell starts to ring loudly.

He clears his throat, “But her father was paying for all her studies, her rent — everything. On the condition that when she was done studying, she would come back home and she would marry whoever he told her to marry. So, then she started her masters, and she was going to get a PHD. It felt like that day wasn’t coming.”

Bradley spares you of the details. How much he loved her, loved their life together. The lemon tree in the courtyard behind their apartment, and the way the sun cast shadows across their bed in the early morning. The way Natasha would smile at him.

“Until she was about to finish her PHD, and her dad says he picked a guy, and a date, and a venue for the wedding. Only — I had proposed first. We were engaged, and… as far as I saw it, we were just waiting until she graduated to tell her father.”

He proposed to her. They were engaged. Somehow, you just can’t picture it. You can’t picture the cynical fate-denier in front of you getting down on one knee and asking the woman that he loved to spend the rest of her life with him. The revelation draws nothing but a deep breath from you.

That’s not how it went, anyway. He didn’t have an expensive diamond, he didn’t get down on one knee and propose in front of your entire family. The two of them didn’t celebrate with champagne in crystal glasses. The way Bradley proposed was nothing like the way Malcolm had.

No, Bradley had proposed without a ring, laying in the grass in the park near their home. She had been laying in his lap and reading to him. He thinks about that day often.

“She didn’t see it the same way?”

Bradley rubs a rough hand across his jaw and closes his eyes for a moment. Even now, with the power of hindsight on his side, he doesn’t understand why she couldn’t just see it the same way he did. He had done it all alone. She wasn’t even willing to try.

“It’s a hard field to break into, especially if you can’t support yourself. There isn’t always a lot of money in it. She made the decision without me, and I was angry. She was going to marry this stranger, live off of her father’s money for just a little longer… then, we could be together.” Bradley scoffs almost bitterly and pinches at the bridge of his nose, like it gives him a headache just to remember.

“So… what did you do?” Whatever it was, it can’t have been that bad. You’ve seen the way she looks at him. He lifts his chin, takes the cigarette from between his lips, and looks at you.

His shoulders are heavy, his lips downturned. He looks older when he’s serious like this, more mature. He inhales deeply, and follows it with a burdened exhale. Ash from his cigarette falls to the floor, settling in the space between his sneakers.

“She was at the beach one morning, and someone knocked at the door, so I answered it,” He answered wearing nothing but a pair of still wet shorts, dusted with sand and saturated with salt water from his swim, his towel draped over his shoulder. He had gotten home a few minutes before, he had a class to get to later. “It was her father, looking for her. He freaked out when he saw me, asking who I was. I told him.”

He sets the cigarette back between his lips and inhales deeply. Your nose wrinkles at the smell of smoke filling the room.

“…You told him what?”

“I told him everything,” Bradley’s voice is quiet now, so filled with shame that the weight is dragging his words down. “That we had been living together for four years by then, that she wasn’t ever planning on coming home. It wasn’t my place. I could have lied, but I didn’t want to.”

You close your eyes for a moment, and think of your father. Of what would happen if he ever found out that you let Bradley spend a night in your bed. Then, you swallow softly and bite at the inside of your cheek. “What did he do?”

Bradley swallows thickly. It feels so much worse to say it out loud. “He never spoke to her again.”

There’s no real answer to grace him with. For certain, you know that your father never would have spoken to you again. You know that he would cost you everything, just like he had her. He seems to think that you would like to know more — your silence makes him start to tap his foot again.

“She married the guy, she dropped out of school, she left me, but it was too late. Her father was just angry at us for lying to him. He… died last May.”

Pressing your lips together, you exhale through your nose and blink at him. “He didn’t speak to his own daughter for four years?”

“I cost her the rest of her time with her father, and the career she could have had — because she was going to leave me.” There it is; what he was so ashamed of. The admission of guilt. Purpose in what he had said to her father.

Still, there’s something that makes you scoot forwards, the wooden legs of the chair scraping across the floor as your hand reaches out and your fingers curl softly around his wrist, “You didn’t know that he would react that way.”

Bradley stubs the cigarette out on the back of the lighter and sets it down. He leans in close, his knee setting between yours, his eyes growing warmer as he leans in. “No, but I knew it would hurt her and I did it anyway.”

You let him stay just as close. The cigarette smell lingers between the two of you. The sunlight catches that diamond on your finger and his gaze flickers downwards briefly. When he looks back up, you’re as serious as he has seen you, with none of the anger that usually accompanies it.

“I understand.” Your nails are a pretty blush colour, perfectly polished. They look out of place tucked into his large palm, your thumb stroking across the back of his hand. His eyes search across your face, his brows drawing slightly together.

“Which part?”

“I understand why you wanted to hurt her. I get why she wants to hurt you,” You tell him, the smell of his cologne lingering between the two of you, willing you to ignore the smell of the burnt tobacco. You close his fingers around yours, holding his hand between both of yours. “We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of.”

It’s all true, every word of it. But it’s deceptive nonetheless. If Bradley had ever tried to ruin you the way he did to her, you’re certain you wouldn’t treat him with the same kind of kindness that Natasha does.

Bradley hums softly. The late June heat settles between the two of you, prickling at the back of your neck. Reaching down, his fingers curl around the leg of your chair, dragging it closer again. His knee sits between yours.

Your mouth twitches, hinting at a smile as he leans in close and swipes his thumb across the bone of your jaw.

“You feel like getting dinner with me tonight, honey?”

…

Tags: @thedroneranger @batdanceq @cassiemitchele @himbos-on-ice @wkndwlff @bradshawsbaby @damrlova @fudge13 @xoxabs88xox @mak-32 @sihtricswife @callsignvenus @callsign-joyride @harper1666 @krismdavis @sheisanangell @thecitysgraveyard @sugarcoated-lame @kmc1989 @cherrycola27

#bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #miles teller #bradley bradshaw smut #rooster bradshaw imagine #rooster x you #top gun smut #the odyssey #professor bradley #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fic

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albatris · 4 months

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Since it's come to my attention a lot of folks don't know ATDAO....... here's an intro post :3c

All the Doors are Open! A funky lil sci-fi-ish, fantasy-ish, horror-ish tale about some South Australian kids going about their daily lives... oh, and also reality is collapsing and cracks between universes called Ports are appearing, letting otherworldly energy leak through and wreak havoc.

Four plotlines intertwine into one big stupid plotline, n the key players are as follows:

Tris Greer, panic attack in human form, who just witnessed a freak car accident that somehow caused his older brother to blip out of existence. The relevant authorities prove supremely unhelpful, so he takes it upon himself to find the truth and bring his brother home, even if it means a daring trip into an unstable air bubble between dimensions - a task easier said than done when he’s anxious enough just leaving the house.

Yun Sung-won, edgy intimidating badass hiding nooo insecurities or trauma whatsoever, who can suddenly bend and break the reality around her the same way Ports do. The shiny new destructive powers might be kinda cool - if the crack in reality inside her wasn’t chaotically deteriorating... and if she didn’t work for the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities, whose whole shtick is eliminating dangerous interdimensional energies.

Shara Aleng, conspiracy enthusiast and amateur paranormal investigator, who's new in town and on a mission. She's been able to see cracks in reality no one else notices since she was a kid, and, armed with just a handheld radio, she's mapping interdimensional fault lines and hunting down the source of the apocalypse.

Kai Lancaster, peddler of haunted antiques and mender of cracks in reality, who went to investigate an abandoned house for an hour and emerged to find seven years had passed. They're now grappling with the emotional and social repercussions of their trip out of time, having been tossed into a life that's moved on without them. And how can they try and re-enter their family's lives when their family has spent seven years grieving them and fighting to get back to any sense of normality?

Anyway. It's a cheesy power of friendship story about the human capacity for kindness and connection! It’s also full of horrifying things that will make your skin crawl <3 We got existential horror, we got body horror, we got cosmic horror... we got love and courage and joy in the face of despair! Also, we got mentally ill heroes, including one with psychosis and one with a dissociative disorder, whose experiences are never demonised or used as cheap plot twists :3

Here is the them:

I'm not posting much about it at the moment but it's my longest-standing WIP and very close to my heart :D I've been working on some version of it since I was 16! Lemme know at any time if you wanna be added to the tag list~ I can't guarantee I'll work on it soon but I CAN guarantee I'll work on it sometime!

#atdao #writeblr #I'm doing a complete overhaul of the plot #i think maybe an equal delve into all four povs which is gonna be a lot of work but fhdjskdj doable maybe

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theworldofotps · 3 months

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Medic To The Fighters

Pairing: Hook x Reader Word Counter: 1,532 Description: Y/n gets as side job as a medic for an underground fight club, that's where she meets Hook.

Enjoy my loves x Massive thank you to my beloved @omg-im-such-a-masochist for her help and encouragement with the idea. You are truly an inspiration and I'm forever thankful for you. ________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist @melissahausen @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose @99hook @sjwrites22 @sassymox @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex @adamcolesbaybay @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @rebellious-desires @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 @auburnwrites @aews-four-pillars @seeingstarks @whenimakeitshine1234 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @blaquekitty @ironshamelessyouth @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @alyyaanna @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456 @mcreignsera If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ______ Y/n had big dreams when she was a kid, she knew she always wanted to be a doctor and had chased that dream all the way up to nearly finishing med school. When her beloved grandparent had fallen ill, she made the decision to leave school to care for them. Deciding to get a job at the local med express as a nurse’s aid to bring in money for bills. And for a while it had worked well, but then as prices in everything she knew it wasn’t enough.

One of her coworkers had pulled her off to the side one day when it seemed like everything that could go wrong was. Liv had taken the time to hear her out and even offered a shoulder to cry on, and when y/n had finally composed herself. Liv told her of a little side job she had heard of.

“Have you ever heard of underground fight clubs?”

Sure, she’d heard of them but didn’t think that Liv would have any connections to anything like that, after y/n nodded her head Liv smiled. “I have a friend who wrestles three times a week and the last medic they had to patch up the fighters moved, and they’ve been looking for a new one. It would be a bit of extra money for you that you can make under the table. If you want, go to this address tomorrow night and check it out.”

She had smiled writing the address down on a piece of scrape paper and handed it to y/n with a time. “You don’t have to but I would definitely give it some thought.” “Thank you Liv I really appreciate you trying to help me.” Embracing the other woman, Y/n placed the paper in her purse and spent the rest of the day and into the next morning contemplating it. When Liv offered to go with her Y/n finalized her decision to check it out, if it was too bad, she could always change her mind. After that night the two women met up in the parking lot of an old abandon building, and after following a ramp down into a dimly lit basement they came across a room filled with people. A old ring stood in the middle of the room with two men fighting in it, Y/n stood transfixed as she watched them go at it, so much so that when Liv gently tugged her arm she nearly tripped.

“Sorry, this is the guy who runs the two Tony he can answer any questions you have. I’m going to go find Max and see if he’s had a match yet.”

Introducing herself to Tony the two said in a pair of seats farther back from the crowd and while watching the pair in ring discussed what the job entitled. Y/n wouldn’t lie it worried her a bit that this wasn’t exactly a legit building or business to be doing this in. But she couldn’t lie the amount she’d be paid was well worth it. After speaking with Tony, a little longer she agreed to take the job as medic.

That was just a little over a year ago and it was one of the best decisions that y/n had ever made. She had quickly created friendships with a lot of the fighters, especially one she really enjoyed watching. Y/n wasn’t sure of his real name he only went by Hook, but he was always needing to be patched up. Every match he won and yet he’d need to come see her. Not that she minded he was absolutely beautiful to look at and he always seemed to enjoy listening to her talk. She looked forward to seeing him the three times a week that she worked.

Little did she know Hook or Tyler as he had yet to tell her his name felt the same exact way, in fact he was absolutely smitten with her. He couldn’t help but love listening to her chatter away about a bunch of different topics. And although Tyler didn’t say much other than an occasional word here or there it was one of his favorite parts of the week.

So yeah, maybe he asked his opponents to do their best to make him bleed that way he could see her, and he may offer them twenty dollars to keep their mouths shut. But he just couldn’t bring himself to come to her just as himself. Tyler also made sure that all the guys that worked in this fight club knew to keep their hands to themselves. Otherwise, he would end them without a second thought and personally send them to their loved ones in a pine box. It seemed to be working for the most part, the guys would give him a hard time after his matches when he’d be walking over to the medic set up.

Tyler simply flipped them off and did his best to keep his blush hidden. Tonight, he had a big match against one of the newbies and was excited to see y/n. Y/n checked over all her supplies to be sure she had everything that maybe needed for any situation. Satisfied, she made her way over towards the ring to watch a couple of matches, sitting in a vacant chair behind the barricade. Waving and chatting to a few people the lights flickered signaling that the show was about to start.

The first two matches went well without any injuries, which was nice as it gave y/n the chance to watch Hook’s match. Her eyes followed his every move as he walked into the ring, his eyes scanning the room, when they finally settled on her. Y/n felt her face heat up as he smirked winking at her and leaned against the rope. As the match started y/n was on the edge of her seat watching as the two knocked the hell out of each other. Hook’s opponent Jay managed to slip out of the ring and leaned on the barricade, Hook followed him and the two started fighting around the ring. Slamming each other into barricades, when Jay slammed Hook’s back into a post Y/n gasped.

“Come on Hook!”

She cheered clapping her hands to encourage him to get up, the man groaned and carefully pulled himself up after crawling over to the barricade she was standing in front of. Jay reached under the ring and grabbed a large stick. Walking over he swung it at Hook and cursed when it slipped out of his hand hitting Y/n in the head. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean that.” Jay said and grunted when Hook looked at Y/n then back at him punching Jay in the face. Climbing on top of him Hook began repeatedly hitting Jay.

"I warned you all not to touch her."

Tyler hissed quietly as he tried to shake people off of him that the ref had called to come and separate the two. Y/n held her face trying to get the throbbing in her temple to stop, Tyler yanks himself free and walked over to Y/n gently cupping her cheek. Scooping her up he silently carried her over to the medical area. “Are you okay?”

Tyler asked in a soft voice pushing the hair out of his eyes as he set her down on the bench, y/n nodded her head slowly. “Yeah, it was an accident I just need the throbbing in my temple to go away.” “Maybe you should go to the hospital or something.”

“I can’t drive.”

“I’ll take you.”

Y/n slowly looked up at him surprised this was the first time he ever spoke to her; he didn’t owe y/n anything and yet he wanted to drive her to the hospital. “You don’t have to I imagine you’re probably tired.”

“No, I’m fine I just want to be sure that you’re taken care of besides it’ll be nice not to be the one bandaged up for once.” He smirked offering his hand and helped her stand up Tony came over to check on her and once given the okay to leave Tyler grabbed both their bags and lead y/n out to his car.

“I never did get your name, like your real name.”

She said after a moment of silence Tyler chuckled which felt like a burst of butterflies in her stomach.

“Name is Tyler.”

Holding her door, he made sure y/n was tucked safely inside her seat then got behind the wheel.

“I don’t think you can go inside without a shirt on.”

Tyler laughed again buckling up and started the car glancing over at her with his signature smirk.

“Don’t worry I’ll put one on when we arrive this is to distract you from the pain.”

Y/n couldn’t help the light laugh as her face heated up once more, she did her best to avoid glancing at his chest.

“How about after all of this is done and we’re sure you don’t have a concussion we go out for a bite to eat?” Stunned for a moment Y/n smiled looking over at him and gently nodded her head. “Yeah I’d really like that.” “Perfect it’s a date then.”

#aew #hook x reader #hook aew #hook fanfiction #tyler senerchia #730 hook

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heesdreamer · 1 year

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PAIRING ➩ hyung line x reader

SUMMARY ➩ life brought you four boys at different times, somehow knowing when you needed them most. how could you possibly choose?

WARNINGS ➩ sexual content, um they’re very punk so piercings, fights, etc

WC ➩ 12.7k

AUTHOR NOTE ➩ so this one’s a little out of the ordinary but i hope you like it because i do despite the issues it gave me lol. little reminder that you can request additional scenes or specific scenarios you’d like to see but i don’t think ill just write a “part 2” also i originally started this as a specific member one shot try to guess who she was going to end up with! (NOT PROOFREAD)

There were three rules you religiously followed when it came to hooking up with people and any sign of them even slightly bending and you were gone before your side of the bed had even cooled.

The first one was the most simple and the one people had a problem with the least, no exclusivity. You didn’t want to belong to anybody and considering the crowd you ran with seemed just as against commitment, you didn’t find yourself having to argue this point a lot.

Your friend group had been close since a young age, only adding on a few additions as you all got older and branched out into different social circles, some of you bringing back worthy contenders into the main group of people. But for the most part things remained tight between you all and you liked it best like that, knowing the scandal that could unfold if some of your weekend activities were made public knowledge.

You’d met Jake and Sunghoon fresh into elementary school when they moved into the house next door, Jake’s parents taking in Sunghoon pretty much full time to the point he had his own bedroom in their house. You’d learn over time as you got closer to them that his home life was shaky and he slowly and slowly stopped going home at all as the years passed.

Jake caught your attention from the first night you’d seen him, standing on your porch in front of his parents legs with a scowl on his face and messy hair.

The same scowl he had now as he leaned back against the couch you were sat on, groaning and settling his feet into your lap. Jake wasn’t necessarily the troubled kid your parents had made him out to be, growing concerned and warning you away from him once they realized he had caught your interest. He was more sensitive than he let off and could do more damage with his clumsy feet and the way he threw his whole body into a laugh than his fist, but his bark was always a lot bigger than his bite.

You liked him immediately.

You’d spent the first few months of knowing him watching him from your porch and he tried to learn how to skateboard, seeing him fall and scream words that you’d only ever heard your parents say when they were particularly stressed about something.

He’d fall off the board a few times and you’d watch him stand back up, knees and hands bloody from smacking against the concrete. He didn’t pay any mind to it and you wondered if he felt any pain at all.

When you were 16 years old, you let him take your virginity. You’d spent the previous hours leading up to that drinking on a random week day, Sunghoon having thrown up in the kitchen sink and then falling asleep sprawled across the cold tiles.

You were both young and drunk, extremely stupid, and his handsome face was rambling about something that had happened in detention that pissed him off when you sloppily fell forward on your hands and kissed his sneering face.

It wasn’t good and it definitely wasn’t romantic but you trusted Jake more than anybody on the planet, with Sunghoon following at a tight second place, and you didn’t regret it the following morning. Jake, of course, showed no sign of awkwardness and if you didn’t sleep with him yourself you would’ve had no idea anything had even happened between the two of you.

That’s what you thought at least, quickly being proven wrong over a hungover breakfast when Sunghoon immediately sniffed the two of your out and bluntly announced it in the middle of the quiet restaurant.

That was your favorite thing about being friends with Sunghoon, you absolutely never had to worry if he was telling the truth or sugarcoating things to protect your feelings. He couldn’t care less how you reacted to his honesty, as long as he told you exactly what he was thinking.

Sometimes when Jake had little outburst of anger or isolated himself from the two of you, Sunghoon staying temporarily at your house during those times, you got stuck in your overthinking about him. If he actually liked being your friend or if you were just leeching onto him and he was tolerating your company for convenience.

You never had to think about that type of stuff with Sunghoon, directly opposite to Jake in the way he handled his emotions. You figured that’s why they managed to be so close for so long, their differences balancing each other out.

It became apparent to you that Jake had a habit of befriending people different than him when you finally graduated from high school and all entered college together (Sunghoon had been accepted to better schools but he didn’t want to miss out). It had only taken a week of classes before Jake was showing up to lunch dragging a boy you hadn’t seen before behind him.

The boy looked nervous and you watched them as they approached, getting the urge to push his round glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

“Made a friend.” Jake was declaring as he swung his leg over the tables seat and smiled at you and Sunghoon. He looked back at the boy impatiently and patted the spat next to him, implying he wanted him to hurry up and sit down.

“If he kidnapped you let us know.” You were addressing the boy, a bored tone in your voice at Jake’s antics. “Sunghoon can hold him down while you get a head start.”

He looked like he didn’t know if you were joking at first, eyes going to Sunghoon who had looked up from his plate and was observing the stranger with his usual stony face. Then Jake was bursting out into a laugh loud and you cracked a smile, extending a hand towards the boy who relaxed slightly.

Lee Heeseung was a stark opposite to your trio, even more so than your usual dynamics. Jake explained he had befriended him because he was smart and you were all struggling, minus Sunghoon but he was less than helpful when it came to helping you out with academics. Immediately following up and saying that he seemed cool too when Heeseung shot him a hurt expression at his shallow reasoning.

You found Jake’s influence over people very interesting from somebody who was unaffected by it for the most part. You wondered if people were partly fascinated by him because they carried the very human urge to fix things that they deemed broken.

You’d seen it on random people who’d been in your life, classmates and week long girlfriends who’d came and went quicker than you could memorize their names but it was especially noticeable in Heeseung, more apparent as the years went by and he remained in your lives.

It was hard to remember when exactly in time he had stopped being so quiet, stopped being so kind and dedicated to his studies and started to become a bit more like you and your friends. You felt small pangs of guilt when you’d come home to your shared apartment and see him sitting on your couch in a haze, missing another important class that just six months ago he would’ve broken into a nervous sweat over.

Still, he was an adult and capable of making his own choices.

“This is a terrible choice.” Your voice was mumbling today, watching him as he was perched on your bathroom counter with his back pressed against the mirror. You were stood between his knees and staring at his face with a disappointed look.

“You’d do it for Jake but not for me?” He was complaining, trying to get on your good side.

You fiddled with the metal stick in your hand and glanced down at it. Last week you had drunkenly fulfilled Jake’s request for a home style eyebrow piercing, amateurly piercing his smooth skin and ignoring Sunghoon’s groans of disgust at the blood dripping down his forehead.

“Jake’s an idiot.” You sighed and pressed the sharp point of the needle into your thumb for a second. “That’s why I don’t care if he looks like an idiot.”

“When’d you get so motherly Y/N.” Sunghoon’s flat tone was ringing from behind you and you looked over Heeseung’s shoulder at the mirror, seeing him leaning against the doorway and watching the scene play out.

“I don’t know, I guess something about cleaning after three boys in their 20’s for four years does that to a person.” You were sarcastically responding, bitterness in your voice. His mouth quirked up into a half smile and you grinned at his reflection.

You looked back at Heeseung who was watching you with excited expectant eyes, bangs pushed back so you could have clear access to his eyebrow when you inevitably fell for his begging and negotiating. You hummed at his expression and stood on your tiptoes, pressing forward to kiss him.

He wasn’t at all surprised by this, or unnerved by the fact Sunghoon was standing right there and still watching the two of you even when his hand came up to hold your hair.

Bringing you back to your original point and the most important things to you as you entered your young adult life, your three rules.

No exclusivity was the most important to you for multiple reasons, the main being the fact it made your skin crawl for anybody to consider you something they owned, something they had any say over. And more selfishly, you’d quickly realized after sleeping with Jake that you liked sex.

You didn’t discover this through him, in fact after the first time you slept with him, the two of you never once spoke about it. Then three years later at a college party you were tipsy and dancing together, pressed tightly against his front and you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol running through you or the way he looked under red lighting but you suddenly found yourself desperate for him.

So you let him fuck you against the wall of a grimy frat house bathroom and tried not to think of the consequences with him panting into your open mouth and roughly tugging on your hair.

It’d been three years now and you’d still yet to feel any negative effect from that night, waking up the next morning to bruises on your skin and him sleeping off the liquor soundly next to you.

It almost drove you crazy how normal he was about it, how normal he continued to be every time he was coming into your room at night to let off steam or pushing against you in the kitchen. At a young age you admired the way Jake handled tough situations but as an adult it weighed heavily on your mind, not being able to get a read on his emotions.

So when he had walked into the living room after a late shift at work and caught you pressing Heeseung into the couch, mouth moving against his and his shirt thrown onto the carpeted floor, you aren’t sure why you expected him to care.

He froze for just a second, mirroring the way Heeseung did from underneath you. You sat up to look at him in the doorway, breathing heavily from your spot in your friends lap. He watched you for a few seconds, holding your worried gaze, before he was smirking slightly and walking down the hall towards his room.

Much to a distraught Heeseung’s displeasure, you were too thrown off by his reaction that you immediately hopped off the boy and you didn’t sleep together.

Still to this day you hadn’t ever fully had sex but you’d built up a casual habit of intimacy in other forms, including, and the one you did most frequently, kissing him. You liked the way he sent you a text when he couldn’t sleep, coming over to lay on your chest and get some rest and you liked sitting in his lap in a packed car and letting him rest his head on your shoulder.

So the first rule was silently installed and despite your initial confusion at Jake’s careless reaction you eventually found yourself thankful for how normalized it was in your small group to find comfort in each other in different ways.

The second rule started right around the time you met Jay.

It wasn’t often you yourself made friends outside of the boys, despite your frequent stops at parties and clubs you tended to stick near one of the three or make light conversation with somebody who knew one of them and you by association.

So when you brought home a boy after a particularly hazy night, spending an open weekend smoking on some random frat boys uncomfortable couch, it was a big shock to your roommates and best friends.

An even bigger shock when the next morning he was shirtless in your kitchen, cooking breakfast suited for five and acting like the scratch marks across his back weren’t an obvious tell to what you had been doing the night before, just a few feet from where they’d been sleeping. (Or not sleeping considering your lack of volume control.)

Somehow Jay had understood your friend groups dynamic without needing it explained, automatically fitting in and proving himself an asset both to the boys who happily devoured every home cooked meal they’d been missing out on, and to you.

If you need a distraction, an outlet for you to forget temporarily everything weighing heavy on your mind at night, you could call Jake over to your room or barge into his no problem. He wouldn’t ask questions, he wouldn’t give advice, he’d understand your silent need and pin your down and help you pretend for a few hours that things weren’t as bad as they were.

But that was where he was comfortable and you never experienced tenderness with him during those moments, not that you were complaining while it was happening.

Jay was similar to Jake in personality, although a lot less angry, but opposite to him in the way that he treated you during your time together.

So you established rule two in a whisper against his chest as he slept soundly, hand moving in slow soothing circles on your arm. You were absolutely not allowed to catch feelings.

You were reminding yourself of this now as you moved against Heeseung’s mouth, stomach pressed into the bathroom counter and the feeling of his knees on your sides. You pulled back from him and smiled at the way his soft pink hair was covering his eyebrows again, pushing it back so you could get a look at the area he wanted you to pierce.

“If she hits something important and you can’t move that side of your face you owe me 20 bucks.” Sunghoon was remarking from the doorway, still unphased by the kiss or the fact Heeseung’s lips were red and glossy now.

“Facial paralysis and short on cash? What kinda bet is this?” Heeseung was smiling over in his direction and you pressed his skin together softly, squinting your eyes to try to find the best angle to send the needle through.

You could hear the front door opening and closing, sound carrying easily in the small apartment. You weren’t sure which of the other two boys it was, despite the fact it was originally just you, Jake and Sunghoon living here the other two had gradually stopped going home over time.

Jay still had his own dorm, less than twenty minutes from your apartment since you lived right off campus but for christmas you’d gifted him his own key on a lanyard with your faces on it. As for Heeseung, you weren’t exactly sure when he had started living here but he was a permanent fixture now, bouncing between the three bedrooms and the couch.

“Are you guys ever going to be doing anything normal when I get home?” You could hear Jake’s tired voice getting closer, sounding half amused and half annoyed.

You imagined the latter emotion was due to the fact you were hogging the only bathroom, slapping Heeseung’s bare chest when he turned his head to look at the approaching Jake and messed up your measurements.

Heeseung smiled apologetically in your direction, leaning back down to kiss you again. You kissed him back for just a second before pushing his chest so he would sit still, eyes catching Jake’s in the mirror now that he was standing in the doorway with Sunghoon.

They were hardened as he looked at you and your expression fell slightly, not knowing if he was just in a bad mood in general or if you had done something directly to piss him off. As much as you cared for the boy, he was completely unpredictable in his mood swings and sometimes it was best to just leave him alone until he found an outlet for his anger. Sometimes said outlet leading him straight back to you.

As much as they both were judging you and Heeseung as you situated yourself again, they both watched with interest and let out sharp hissing when your shoved the needle through his skin. It came through the other side and you were relieved to see he wasn’t bleeding nearly as much as Jake had.

“I didn’t even feel it.” He was remarking with a small frown, like he was looking forward to the pain.

“It’s going to bruise.” You were explaining to him, having gone through the process yourself already twice. “You’ll have a black eye for a few days.”

“That’s kind of sexy though isn’t it?” He was smiling down at you, the needle still in his eyebrow and he groaned in pain when he tried to quirk it seductively in your direction. You laughed softly stop him and heard Sunghoon chuckle dryly from behind you.

“If she found black eyes sexy she’d just need to sleep with Jake more.” Sunghoon was saying, catching on to what Heeseung was implying with his comment.

“If she slept with me she’d never be able to fuck Jake again, black eye or not.” Heeseung joked back and you looked at Jake in the mirror again, jaw twitching slightly at the comments regarding him. You knew the boys were just having fun and typically he would know that too. You figured he must be in an extra bad mood.

You shushed Heeseung with a small shove to his chest, cupping his face to hold him still while you interchanged the needle for a small piece of jewelry with two balls on either side. He leaned into your touch and quieted down, stopping his jokes so he didn’t accidentally mess you up.

“Does it look good?” He was whispering once you’d put it through, trying to stay as still as possible.

It did look good, better than you’d originally thought it would and surprisingly nature on his kind face. You were reminded of the kind boy with fluffy black hair and big round glasses you’d met at the start of college and your heart softened slightly. As different as he looked aesthetic wise, he was still peering down at you with doe like eyes waiting to hear words of approval.

“You look hot.”

——

Sometimes you missed being a freshly turned nineteen year old, away from home for the first time and just getting by on gas station meals. You missed the free feeling that came with curing a hangover with more drinks and finally getting home from the night before after the sun has already risen.

You still carried some bad habits now that you were slightly older, in your last year of college and only now legally allowed to engage in all the things you’ve been doing since middle school but other things were overwhelmingly different.

“Literally what the fuck is the difference between a red and green pepper.” The reason for your thought process was speaking now and you looked over to see Sunghoon angrily glaring down at a piece of paper.

You wanted to laugh at the fact that he was having a rare show of extreme emotion at something as simple as a grocery list, but you held back. You walked closer to him and leaned against his arm, looking at the list Jay had sent with the two of you after he had gone through all your cupboards, becoming more and more appalled at every empty one.

“Aren’t you meant to be the smart one?” You muttered to him and he stuffed the list into his pocket, looking down at you from where you were still leaning against him.

“Maybe I’d know how to cook better if I hadn’t had such awful influences growing up.” He looked annoyed, face flat as he watched you but you knew him well enough to understand he was teasing you.

You took a step away from him with a sigh, scanning the aisle and shifting the basket that you were holding in your hands.

“Influence, singular.” You reminded him, excluding yourself from his comment. “Don’t complain too loud, I feel like Jay can hear you from the house.”

He looked amused at that and you started to walk down the aisle again, bumping into each others sides. As different and foreign as it felt, you were having fun with him. It was strangely domestic to be grocery shopping on a random week day. If you were lacking the dyed hair, piercings and specific clothing style, you imagined you’d look like a regular college couple with normal responsibilities and living situations.

“I’m sure he can. Everybody is so uptight there these days.” His voice was still light and flat as he voiced his concern and you frowned slightly, agreeing with him. “Is the sex not good?”

You shoved him once you processed what he was implying and he groaned, nearly knocking over a display of cans as he tripped over his foot. He steadied himself and gave a half smile down in your direction at your angry expression.

“I’ll have you know sex with me is amazing.” You were suddenly aware of your loud volume when an older woman passing by the aisle you were stood in gave you a disgusted stare, speed walking past you when you offered her a small apologetic shrug.

Sunghoon didn’t respond as he grabbed something off the shelf, tossing it into your half full basket and turning on his heel to head back to the front of the store where the registers were, now that your list was fulfilled. You followed him to the self checkout where he took it from you and started to scan the items slowly.

“I wouldn’t know.” He was saying after you’d gathered up the plastic bags and started to walk outside towards the bus stop. You were glancing over at him and cocking your head in confusion. He looked down at you and shrugged. “How sex is with you.”

You were beyond used to his bluntness and the fact it sometimes created uncomfortable situations, other times hurting your feelings even though at the end of the day you were always thankful you found out things from him first and directly. So you were only half thrown off at his comment.

And he was telling the truth.

You always wondered what he felt about the fact the two of you strictly didn’t sleep with each other or ever even do anything non platonic. You knew he would tell you if you asked but for some reason you never did and you never wanted to talk about it, this being the first time he’s brought it up on his own.

Truthfully you weren’t sure why you hadn’t. Sunghoon was probably the most stunning person you’d ever seen in your entire life, so pretty that you were genuinely taken back sometimes when you saw him doing casual acts around the house.

Not to mention how much hotter he was considering his usual attitude and demeanor. He was already strong in the literal sense but he felt sturdy and solid in his calm direct approach to things and you liked the way his dark eyebrows always stayed unmoving on his inexpressive face.

You think maybe it was a weird complex thing. The thought of sleeping with not only some, but all of your closest friends on a regular basis made you have a strange sense of insecurity. You knew they liked you and cared about you and if you decided one day to never touch one of them again that way, they’d accept it immediately and not treat you any different. You were their friend first before anything and you felt reassured in that despite your occasional habit to overthink.

“Do you ever wonder why?” You decided to ask him the thing you were curious about directly, knowing he wouldn’t judge you.

He took a second to respond since you were approaching the bus stop. He grabbed the bags you were holding and added them to his pile, setting them down on the bench as you stood together and waited for it to arrive. Eventually he was turning to peer down at you with a small look of amusement.

“Saving the best for last I guess.”

——

The third rule was one that needed no discussion, undeniably the one that needed to be honored above all else.

Sometimes you forgot about it, especially it’s importance. When you were at home and it was just you and the boys, you felt comfortable and hidden away in your little bubble of a world. Things were unconventional, maybe a little dingy and immoral at times but there was never any judgement and never any type of conflict you couldn’t work out with all of you together.

So when you left this space you were struck with the reminder that things were not like that in the real world. There was consequences to your actions and considering you were still in college and surrounded by your peers and gossip most the time, most your consequences were social.

You were currently sat on a couch at a party, a common occurrence still despite you not being at the age where you wanted to be black out drunk every saturday. You still liked to have fun, or at least watch the boys have fun while you sat and smoked.

It made you feel good to watch them feel good. You liked the way Jay danced with strangers, a bright smile on his face and you liked watching Heeseung chat animatedly with people standing near the kitchen, almost forgetting how shy he used to be. Sunghoon was typically with you or off somewhere doing… whatever it was he did.

You normally didn’t see Jake until the end of the nights, having to drag him away from an argument or a full out fight at least once a week if his attitude called for it. You were always amazed at his ability to have a problem with absolutely anybody.

So you were slightly surprised at the fact he was sat next to you on the couch right now, a hand on your thigh and his side pressed against yours tightly. He was passing the joint back to you and letting his fingers linger against yours when you went to grab it from him. You could feel him breathing against the side of your face and you almost wanted to laugh at how fucked up he was this soon into the night.

Sunghoon was on your right, similarly pressed against you but he seemingly wasn’t paying any attention to you. He was scrolling on his phone and occasionally watching the people drunkenly dancing on the floor infront of you.

“What was with your mood the other day?” You were speaking out a cloud of smoke, face curling into a grimace as you coughed and nudged Sunghoon to take it without looking, keeping your eyes on Jake. You blamed said smoke for being the reason you asked, normally you’d avoid it knowing it could go one or two ways with him.

“You worried?” He lazily smiled over at you and you felt his hand squeezing your thigh as he spoke. Thankful he hadn’t gotten defensive at your question, you leaned into his space slightly and shrugged.

His eyes were darting sideways suddenly and you followed his gaze, seeing a girl across the room watching the two of you. Her eyes were low and hazy as she took a sip of her cup and you glanced back at him in confusion. He kept his stare on her, either not noticing you were seeing him or not caring. His eyebrow was cocking in her direction and he squeezed your leg again.

You frowned slightly and leaned away from him, feeling your back bump against Sunghoon’s side and ignoring the noise he made.

From your knowledge, Jake didn’t sleep around a lot. He never brought girls back home with him and you or one of the other boys were there almost every time he went out, he stated once he simply couldn’t be bothered to do small talk every single time he wanted to fuck something. Even if the thought of him fucking somebody else when you were sat next to him bugged you a little, you had no right to say anything. However the fact he was only touching you as some form of flirting method with some random girl made your stomach flip in disgust.

You smacked his hand off your bare thigh, Sunghoon’s head turning at the sound, and scoffed at him. Now he finally turned his attention back to you, eyes sparking with slight anger and a challenge.

It was clear to you now that he hadn’t gotten over whatever was bothering him before and you frowned at the harshness in his eyes.

You scooted away from him slightly, now fully pressed up against Sunghoon to the point you were nearly halfway into his lap. Jake shook his head at your reaction, letting out a mean humorless laugh and standing from the couch, disappearing into the crowd of people.

“The fuck is his problem.” Sunghoon’s sudden voice caused you to jump slightly and you felt his arm move so it was resting on the couch behind your head, helping him get comfortable now that you were a lot closer.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” You frowned and shifted in your spot slightly, not understanding what he was possibly so upset about. You didn’t recall anything happening but then again, Jake didn’t always seem to need a reason to lash out. “He makes no sense to me sometimes.”

“I think Hee pissed him off.” Sunghoon was telling you and you were slightly surprised at the fact he had also caught sight of Jake’s reaction to Heeseung’s comments in the bathroom.

You looked over at him to find him already watching you, heads so close your nose brushed against his.

“Why would he care about that?” You were still frowning as you spoke and his eyes were looking down at your lips before meeting yours again. You’d never been this close to Sunghoon before and you were starting to think about the conversation you’d had at the grocery store.

“Maybe he’s worried Heeseung was right.” He said it like it was obvious but that confused you further.

“That still doesn’t make any sense. He knows I fuck Jay and he’s never cared about that.” You were reasoning your side of things but Sunghoon seemed pretty certain in what he was saying.

“Jay doesn’t fuck you like Jake does.” His voice was nearing a whisper as he spoke and you tensed for a second at his words. He was right of course, he always seemed to be, but you weren’t quite sure how he knew that in the first place.

He was staring at you intensely, somehow more intense than he usually looked, and you had a feeling he also knew that you were thinking over the things he had said to you at the bus stop. His hand that wasn’t around your shoulders was coming over and resting at your knee, pulling your legs forward so they were over his and you were halfway in his lap. You took the hint, lifting your butt up off the couch and moving forward so you were fully sitting on him.

He hummed softly in approval, looking up slightly now that you were sitting on him and above him. It didn’t feel weird or too new being this close to him. Living in the same small place and growing up together didn’t leave much room for privacy, you’d seen each other in different states of undress and slept together in beds on dozens of occasions.

Yet it was different all the same. His eyes were more narrow and hazy, a clear want in his expression and he was watching you with interest as your eyes studied his features from this angle.

“You think he’s worried Heeseung will make me feel better?” You continued on your conversation in a low challenging voice, trying not to flush when he was putting one hand in your hair and the other around your waist to keep you steady in his lap.

“Maybe.” He was mumbling, distracted now. “Or maybe somebody else.”

The implication in his words were obvious and a heavy tension settled over the two of you as he spoke his mind. His multiple shows of confidence made your skin feel hot and you had completely forgotten about the girl and Jake’s random attitude.

“I want you to show me.” You spoke bluntly, knowing he liked it best when you did that. He didn’t respond, quirking an eyebrow at you like he was expecting something. “Please.”

He let out another hum as you quickly pieced together what he was expecting and delivered it, your voice soft raising an octave and you leaned against him. You wanted to kiss him or have him touch you, not minding who saw.

“Rule number three.” He was basically whispering against your lips as he spoke and you frowned at his words, mind spinning and hazy from both the weed and the heavy tension between the two of you.

So it took you a second to understand what he was trying to say before you gathered your thoughts and immediately deflated in disappointment, knowing exactly what he was implying.

Rule number three clearly stated that the most important thing in your friend group was that nobody, and absolutely nobody, was allowed to find out about the things you did. It had actually been Heeseung who suggested this become an official rule, not just a silent acceptance. He wanted a firm promise that the entire campus wouldn’t figure out you were essentially all spit buddies.

You imagine you were already slightly teetering this line with the way you were perched on Sunghoon’s lap, especially with how rare it was he was seen interacting with somebody so openly and how obsessive his fan club could be. But you were sure it could be brushed off as the drunken need to have contact with somebody.

“Are you rejecting me?” You made sure to quirk your mouth into a small smirk so he would understand you were just messing around with him, waiting for him to take the bait.

“I’m actually trying to take you home.” He confirmed what you were thinking but for some reason hearing him actually say it made your cheeks flush.

You looked down at him for a few seconds, not saying anything just yet. Your eyes were going around his handsome features as you felt your resolve completely sway and shatter.

The two of you didn’t speak for a long time after that, not when you stood from his lap and took his hand in yours and not when you started to make your way out of the party. You briefly met Heeseung’s eyes as you pushed through the crowd with him behind you and he continued to watch you with a clouded expression until you were out the front door and into the cold outside air.

You didn’t speak when he whistled for a taxi, feeling less than sober as you leaned into his side in the backseat and pressed a kiss to his neck as he muttered your address to the driver.

He didn’t touch you the whole ride other than a hand on your hip and you were growing impatient and desperate, moving your mouth and teeth against his warm skin while he occasionally squeezed your side. If you cared a bit more you would have felt guilty for the driver regarding the loud noises filling up the otherwise silent car.

But your head was spinning with desire and you almost didn’t even realize the car was stopping and you had gotten out until Sunghoon was pushing open the door to the apartment.

The second you were inside your back was hitting the wall. He wasted no time and immediately was pressed against you, kissing you feverishly. You moaned against his mouth, hands going to his dark hair and making sure he couldn’t pull away from you.

You were drunk off excitement and lust, clumsily walking forward until his legs hit the couch and he was falling onto his back, taking you with him.

He laughed into this kiss and you smiled at him, pulling away for a second. You were suddenly hit with the fact that you were making out with Park Sunghoon, your childhood bestfriend who you’d gone over a decade without touching once. He seemed to be having a similar thought process, eyes darting around your face and back to your mouth.

You kissed him again and he groaned, hands clumsily sliding down your back before grabbing the back of your thighs and pulling you up slightly so you were more on his lap and not sprawled on top of him.

Your hips were moving instinctively at the new position, rubbing against him and drinking in the way he cursed into your open mouth. His hands were moving to the top of your thighs, kneading them as a form of relief and your breath hitched when his thumb accidentally dipped forward and pressed too close to your underwear.

He froze at the noise and pulled out of the kiss to look at you. His eyes went down to your puffy lips and then back to your low hazy gaze that was watching him as you panted. He pressed his thumb down again, purposely this time as he held your stare.

He smirked slightly at the way you immediately rocked forward, mouth parting in a soft whine as he kept his hands just a few inches away from where you needed them.

“Ask me.” He was leaning forward to speak, pressing his mouth against yours and you felt his tongue snake between your open lips. You unfroze at the feeling, closing your mouth around him and sucking his tongue softly while he waited for you to respond.

“Touch me.” You eventually breathed when you couldn’t take it anymore, your voice whiny and bordering on a beg.

“So now you want me to touch you?” He was humming mockingly, eyes darkening softly at your request. As attracted to him as you had always been, you never took too long to think about what Sunghoon would be like in bed. You should’ve guessed he wasn’t going to be easy on you, a mean tone to his voice.

“Please.” You were too desperate to show any dignity, grinding down into his lap again and kissing messily against his jaw. “Please I want you to touch me so bad Hoon.”

“So needy for a whore.” He was whispering the words but you caught it loud and clear, breath catching at the word. He noticed your reaction and you heard a smirk in his voice when he started to speak again. “Three cocks isn’t enough for you, right baby?”

You were nodding your head, sitting up slightly to look him in the eyes and make sure he knew you were agreeing with him. He smiled fully at this and kissed you softly, caressing your cheek and nodding along with you mockingly.

“I want you to speak.” He was repeating with a soft voice, directly contradicting the hard expression on his face.

“It’s not enough.” You were rushing out and you felt slightly embarrassed at how slurred your words were, not thinking clearly. “It’s not enough, I need you.”

He seemed momentarily pleased by your words but he didn’t say anything, still not moving his hand and just watching you. Your gaze fell down to it’s placement and you felt another wave of need pass through you at the sight of his large hand and long fingers resting just close enough to the end of your skirt to fuel your imagination. You put your hand ontop of his and looked at him, feeling satisfied when he didn’t tell you to stop.

You slowly moved his hand with yours, pushing your skirt up onto your waist so he could have a clear view of your panty clad lower half sitting in his lap. His breath hitched slightly and you suddenly were curious how often he had done this, if ever. You seemed to just now realize he’d never spoken about being with anybody and knowing him, that would be something he’d casually mention like it was no big deal.

You were distracted from this train of thought when he was suddenly kissing you again, your hand leaving his inside your skirt and coming up to hold his face so you could deepen the kiss immediately.

Before you could process the movement of his hand, you felt his fingers pressing against your underwear. His hand was practically cupping your entire core and you bucked into it instinctively.

“You’re so cute like this.” He was smiling into the kiss and curling his fingers so they were pressing against you harder, you were embarrassed at the way you pathetically held onto his broad shoulders and practically sobbed at the feeling.

“I’m always cute asshole.” You were pushing out, voice breaking. He laughed softly and kissed your cheek, a weird show of affection that almost caused you to pause your movements and question him about it.

He seemed to notice your change in demeanor and for the first time in a long time, you saw him look visibly thrown off and embarrassed. You quickly forgot about it when he was grabbing your hips and turning your bodies so he was on top of you now.

You didn’t think about it for the rest of the night.

——

“What’s going on with you and Hoon.” Heeseung’s tired voice was mumbling above you in your bed and you frowned against his chest although he couldn’t see it.

“What do you mean?” You were laid against him, leg thrown over his waist and hugging his chest. Your room was warm and silent, perfect for a nap before he started to speak.

“He brought you home the other night.” He was explaining in a weird tone. You could hear his slow heart beat and you picked your head up off his chest so you could look at his expression, eyes locking on his bruised eye for a second. “Never seen you guys do that before I guess.”

He was holding your gaze with soft eyes and you felt a bit worried at the hurt in his features.

“Yeah.” You didn’t explain any further, knowing the simple answer would tell him what he wanted to know and what he was asking without asking. You didn’t have sex with Sunghoon but you did go home with him. “Why?”

“What’d you guys do?” He asked, his hand coming up to push your hair behind your ear and rub against the smooth skin of your cheek.

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds, trying to think about how much you wanted to tell him about that night. You shifted in your place on him, basically laying on top of him with his hip between your legs.

“He fingered me.” You answered him bluntly and his eyebrows shot up, a small amused smile appearing on his face at the information. “And we just kissed alot.”

“Oh, you kissed a lot?” His voice was teasing and you were overwhelmingly glad that his weird expression from earlier was gone. He sat up slightly so he could lean closer to your face, pressing a small kiss against your lips and sitting back again. “Was he a good kisser?”

You groaned at his nosy line of questioning, laying your head down on his chest so he couldn’t look at your flushing face. You could feel him laughing with the vibrations against your forehead.

“He better be considering he watches us all the time.” He was continuing on and you picked your head up quickly, eyebrows furrowed in an accusatory stare.

“You like it when he watches us.” You pointed out and he shrugged with a small smile. You were the telling the truth, something he admitted to you during a particularly tension filled make out session you had at a party a year or two ago.

Sunghoon had been a few feet away from the dance floor, leaning against the wall and keeping an eye out like he always seemed to be doing. You were too caught up in kissing Heeseung to notice, his hands on your hips pulling you into him as you half danced half grinded into his leg.

“Our guard dog is watching us.” He was whispering into your mouth and you opened your eyes to look at him in confusion, finding his eyes over your shoulder. They were low and hazy, arousal apparent at the observation.

“Tell him to cut it out.” You were half whining, upset his attention wasn’t fully on you and too out of it to process his reasoning for saying it wasn’t because he was feeling uncomfortable. Quite the opposite you’d quickly realize.

Heeseung hadn’t responded verbally, instead keeping his eyes over your shoulder open as he grabbed your chin and pulled you in for a wet sloppy kiss, moving his mouth against yours deeper and deeper in a lewd display.

Thinking back on it now you shifted ontop of Heeseung, arousal flaring up at the thought of him keeping strong eye contact with Sunghoon that night. You wish more than anything you had been in sound enough mind to look back and see what his expression was, if it changed at all.

“So he was good then.” He hummed softly and cupped your face. His expression was a bit guarded again and you frowned causing him to mirror your frown in confusion.

“Why are you so curious?” You asked him softly but your heart felt tight and heavy, fearing you already knew what his response would be.

“Why not?” He shrugged again but it looked more awkward this time, like he was trying to fake casual. “You already know that I’m i-.”

“Don’t.” You cut him off quickly, freezing on top of him and you suddenly felt the urge to get off the bed. You didn’t because you didn’t want to hurt his feelings but you felt a sick wave wash over you when his eyes deflated looking into yours. “Don’t say it.”

You weren’t stupid and you knew Heeseung had feelings for you. It was obvious from the first year you’d spent together, back when he was still nervous and didn’t talk as much. He’d follow you around like a lost dog and listen to you speak with big wide eyes like every word was important to him. You ignored it at first because you figured it was just because you were the first girl he’d really spent time with, it would just go away with time.

You admit you still feel guilt sometimes now regarding the way your relationship progressed. Kissing him and letting him hold you while you slept together probably did nothing but sink him in deeper and confuse his feelings now that they mixed with arousal and want.

But you did love Heeseung. You loved all the boys and you wanted them to be happy and feel cared for no matter what. And selfishly, you liked how much he liked you.

He still, after years of having time to get sick of you, looked at you like you personally hung the stars. He made no move to hide the way he felt about you but you’ve warned him before not to say it. You reminded him of the rules and what it would mean if you heard the words yourself, how you wouldn’t be able to do this with him anymore.

He didn’t respond to your interruption and you laid your head back on his chest hesitantly, feeling relieved when he wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you in a hug.

You still felt sick with guilt. You hoped he knew that you loved him too, even if you’d never say it yourself or allow him to. But things were far more complicated than being two friends inlove with each other and you weren’t willingly to pop your bubble just yet.

——

You were sat on the kitchen counter, watching Jay attempt to coach a simple meal prep, when Jake slammed the front door shut.

All four of your heads turned in his direction, Heeseung slowly halting mid vegetable cut in confusion. Jake looked over at the feeling of being stared at and glared in your directions, taking in the sight of everybody packed into the small kitchen.

“Hi.” You hesitantly greeted him. You weren’t sure if he was angry again or if this was his current resting face. “Do you want to come help? Jay’s trying to show us how to…”

Your words slowly trailed off as you watched him start to walk away, down the hall towards him room. He completely ignored you and you felt your heart sink.

Jake had mood swings, he was rude to strangers and he didn’t talk about his emotions or personal thoughts as much as you wished he did but he had never been this angry at you for this long and you still had no idea what was causing it. You always felt special at the fact he seemed to have a soft spot for you, outside of sex he was always gentle and showed you he cared about you in little indirect ways.

You felt a hand on your knee, rubbing it softly in an attempt at reassurance and you looked to see Jay’s worried expression watching you carefully. You imagined the other two had similar looks on their faces but you didn’t check to verify this, sighing softly and giving him an attempt at a smile to signal you were okay.

“You should go talk to him.” Sunghoon’s low voice was muttering and you looked at him now, meeting his expressionless face.

“She’s tried already.” Heeseung sounded annoyed and was shaking his head, eyebrows furrowing. You wanted to smooth out the crease in his forehead and remind him to be careful because his piercing but you stayed still. “He’s just in one of his moods.”

“No it’s different.” Sunghoon was responding, still watching you and you suddenly remembered what he had said about Jake at the party. You wondered if he knew more than what he was telling you or if he was just making his usual observations.

“If I go in there he’s either going to ignore me or tell me to fuck off.” You shook your head in denial, slightly anxious at the thought of confronting an angry Jake. You knew he’d never hurt you, or any of your friends, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a habit of saying harsh words for the sake of shutting people up. Even if he didn’t necessarily mean them.

“Then you can come back out here and watch a movie with us.” Jay shrugged like it was an obvious solution and you smiled at him because it honestly was.

As much as you wished Jake would calm down and join the four of you, you knew that regardless you could lean back on your friends and find comfort in them.

“If I’m not back in half an hour, save yourselves.” You were joking with them as you left the kitchen towards the bedrooms. You smile immediately dropped when you rounded the corner, feeling nervous for how many ways this conversation could go wrong. You reminded yourself again that this was Jake, the person you loved and trusted most in the world.

You kept repeating this to yourself as you knocked on his door, soft taps as you shifted from side to side and waited for him to open it and invite you. The door was swinging open and he was glaring down at you, one headphone dangling out of his ear.

“Why are you knocking?” He mumbled and turned to sit back on his bed. You felt stupid after his comment, considering he was right and you’d never had to knock on his door before.

“Didn’t know if you wanted to be bothered.” You shrugged and sat on the end of the bed near his feet, anxiously picking at a loose thread on your sleeve. He was watching you with a guarded expression.

“Well are you planning on bothering me?” His tone caused you to frown and look down at your lap.

“What did I do?” You felt slightly childish for your disheartened tone but you truly didn’t understand why he was treating you so bad. You glanced at him when he didn’t immediately respond and his face softened at your sad expression.

He sighed softly, taking his other headphone out and leaning back against the headboard. You watched him from the side of your eye as he patted the spot next to him and waited for you to climb fully onto the bed.

You hesitatingly did what he said. You didn’t want to acknowledge the fact it was rare you spent time in Jake’s bed with your clothes on. He wasn’t like the others in terms of cuddling or taking naps together and you slightly appreciated the show of vulnerability.

“You didn’t do anything.” He was saying once you were situated. You weren’t sitting that close but your shoulders were pressed together. His legs were laid out flat down the length of the bed and you were sat hugging your knees as they were pulled tight to your chest for comfort.

“So why are you being so mean.” You voice broke slightly and he swayed a bit into you, bringing your attention to him.

He was holding his hand out, palm up, on his lap and you looked at it for a few seconds in frozen shock. Jake was blankly offering you affection and comfort and you were starting to get worried something was really wrong for him to be acting so out of character. Still, you took his hand in yours and waited to see what he was going to say.

“I think I’m losing my mind.” He was laughing as he was saying it but it was dry and humorless, a sad heavy tone to his words.

You didn’t say anything and gave him a second to explain, squeezing his hand and trying not to think about how strange it was that he started to rub yours with his thumb in smooth circles.

“I think you’re making me lose my mind honestly.” He was turning his head to look at you for a second and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I’ve noticed it for a while but I think Heeseung being a dickhead really made it a sure thing.”

You felt like you were holding his breath as he spoke, still not sure where exactly this line of conversation was heading towards. You felt a tightness in your chest at the thought he might suggest you stop sleeping together, or even worse, you stop being friends.

Maybe hearing Heeseung directly mock him in a way, woke him up to the fact they were both involved with you.

“Then he told me you left that party with Sunghoon and I didn’t think I could ignore it anymore.” With every word he spoke you were becoming more and more certain your current arrangement wasn’t working out and he was about to completely remove himself from it.

“What can I do to fix this?” You were squeezing his hand as you spoke. You respected his comfortably but the thought of Jake not wanting to be with you anymore and thus pulling himself even further from your tight knit group made your stomach lurch.

He let out a soft laugh at your statement, shaking his head and leaning into you again so you swayed slightly to the side.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He was explaining his reasoning for the laugh and still shaking his head. “I know the rules and I fucked up, it’s my fault.”

This confused you even further. What rule was he implying he broke? He could be saying he’s longing for exclusivity but he hasn’t broken that yet even if he is finding himself insecure or jealous and you highly doubt he’d told anybody about your arrangement considering he barely talked about it amongst the five of you.

“What are you talking about?” You urged and he slowly looked over at you again, an expectant and nervous expression on his face like he was waiting for you to piece it together any second now.

When you finally did you felt the breath get knocked out of you, your hand going limp in his and your mouth parting in a shocked exhale. He grimaced at your reaction but he didn’t move or pull away, letting you process the fact that he was seemingly saying he had developed feelings for you.

“I know you’re inlove with Heeseung… or maybe Jay I’m not sure but I just needed to tell you.” His voice was strangely vulnerable and for the first time in your life you were saying him look upset and out of control, his mouth moving faster than his thoughts as he rambled on. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick that probably didn’t help my case at all, I was just freaking out.”

You didn’t say anything for a while and tried to decide how honest you wanted to be in this situation.

He was right and you weren’t denying it anymore, feeling more and more suffocated everytime you felt your heart warm or your stomach tighten with happiness around one of the boys. He was right about who you were in love with and he was also wrong that you weren’t in love with him.

If anything, you had loved Jake first and most passionately. You’d been glued to him since the second you saw him on your front porch and you’ve stuck by him despite his bad habits and people constantly warning you that no good could come from a boy like that. Because good did come from Jake for you and you’d always been sure of that even when things were messy.

When you first moved in together and you had barely enough money for rent, Jake was working multiple odd jobs late into the night to make sure you all had meals on the table and you didn’t have to worry about missing too many classes to try to individually support yourselves. You were a family and you shared resources because you wanted to see everybody thrive together, not just one person or one pair.

Jake was the type of person who befriended Heeseung without a second thought because he looked lonely and nervous and he was the type of person who you still felt you needed to see at the end of a hard day even after all these years passed.

So you think a large part of you always knew you were in love with Jake, maybe that was the reason you’d established the second rule in the first place. You never thought he’d date you or even really see you as somebody he could do that with, normally teasing each other or sitting in comfortable silence outside of when you were having sex.

You let yourself bury it down deep, to never be unearthed, and you watched him continue to be the funny and out of the box boy he’s always been.

He didn’t need to know you loved him, you didn’t need to make things weird or ruin such a good thing while it had managed to survive everything else thrown your way. So to go through all that and now hear him say the things you’d been biting your tongue on for over a decade, you felt a bit breathless.

Your first instinct was to tell him he was wrong and that you did love him, more than he could ever know. But he wasn’t wrong and you felt bad lying to him.

But you also weren’t sure you could bring yourself to tell him that you loved the others too. You were barely processing it yourself, you knew of people who had multiple crushes or even multiple partners but somehow throughout this whole arrangement, you never considered being able to be with all of them at the same time.

On the other hand, you also never considered having to choose one of them.

Heeseung was the light you needed in your life. Things didn’t feel hard around him and you could just have fun and bounce off his intoxicating puppy like energy. And you knew he truly loved you, certain of it for the first time in your life.

He never rushed you to be with him or implied he was upset that you always stopped your hookups before things got to that point. He was patient and warm.

Jay was similar to him in that aspect but he had an added sense of being grounded that Heeseung lacked. He’d always make sure you ate on days you couldn’t find the space to remember and he took care of the other boys just as eagerly despite not knowing them for as long as you had all known each other.

Realistically Jay probably had figured out you loved Jake, being kind enough to never bring it up and only giving you vague advice when you inevitably found yourself teary eyed in his bed looking for comfort. It wasn’t a rebound thing, or seeking what Jake didn’t give you in him, you just genuinely felt most comfortable and safe when you were around him.

Sunghoon had been the most recent development for you.

He was always an anchor in your life, both as unruly kids and misbehaving teenagers. You knew nobody would ever be as important to you as him but you hadn’t fully considered the idea of being with him in the extra way that dating required.

Yet you hadn’t stopped thinking about what it felt like to kiss him and more importantly your mind had been replaying the gentle way he kissed your cheek. You’d never seen him with that look in his eye before and you wondered how long he’d been looking at you like that without you noticing.

“I am in love with Heeseung.” You finally responded to Jake now, turning on your knees so you could fully face him as you said the heavy weighted words. His face dropped at your sudden statement before he was slowly nodding in acceptance. “But I’m in love with you too.”

He didn’t say anything when you said this, face unchanging like he was waiting for you to deliver the punchline of a joke.

When he realized you were insanely serious, your eyes teary as you anxiously chewed on your lip and rocked slowly back and forth on your knees, a self soothing action you didn’t even realize you were doing, his face changed.

“Oh.” His one worded response made you feel sick and your watched him with desperate eyes as you waited for him to continue. “Somehow I didn’t see that coming.”

You groaned softly at his attempt at a joke, leaning forward so your head was hitting his knee and you were able to grab his hand that he had left loose in his lap since you abandoned it.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice broke in a cry and you looked down at your conjoined hands, not be able to see his confused expression for another second. “Do you hate me?”

“Hate you for what? Why are you sorry?” His voice was smooth and calm, taking you by surprise as he cupped your cheek with his free hand and lifted your head so you were looking at him again.

“Sorry for falling inlove with people you’ve spent your whole life with? What’s wrong with that?” He was reassuring you and you imagined you looked extremely confused and thrown off because he smiled softly.

You shook your head through your tears, face scrunched up as you tried to make sense of what he was saying to you.

“You don’t care that I’m inlove with somebody else, with all of you?” He didn’t look at all surprised as you spoke, bringing up the fact it was more than just him and Heeseung.

“I mean it’s definitely a surprise but it makes sense when I think about it.” He was shrugging and weirdly casual, almost like he was just relieved to have his feelings reciprocated. You never treated him any different even when you started sleeping with Jay or forming your strange relationship with Heeseung. He was starting to think you had way more than enough love for all of them.

It was silent for a few seconds as you both looked at eachother, observing the multiple pieces of new information you’ve just brought to light.

“Do they know?” He was asking after a bit, voice so soft it was almost a whisper.

“I’ve never said it until now.” You suddenly flushed at the reminder you had just casually done the one thing you swore you never would. He gave you a smile that looked prideful, like he was prepared to brag he heard it first. “I think if any of them know it’s Hee.”

“Because he’s obsessed with you.” He said it matter of factly, always teasing your friend for his obvious feelings towards you.

You half laughed at his joke, not fully being able to relax at the thoughts of how many different ways this could go wrong. Jake was okay with it but who knew how the others would react and even if they accepted it for now, you knew a relationship like this wouldn’t be easy or conventional.

You had no idea what you were going to do and you were starting to feel yourself cry again, squeezing Jake’s hand absentmindedly. He was scooting forward on the bed so he could wrap his arms around you slightly, rubbing your back.

“Maybe I should bring them in here and we can have a talk. Does that sound okay?” He was whispering and you were nodding your head before he even finished talking, knowing that was the best idea.

He pressed a loving kiss to the side of your head before getting up and disappearing out of the room.

You felt worse at his absence, scooting back against the headboard now that you were alone and sniffling softly as you anxiously waited for him to return, this time with a lot more company. You were trying to think of what you were going to say but nothing was coming to you and you realized you were just going to have to wing it.

That idea was completely blown out of the ball park when you actually saw them, following swiftly behind Jake with varying levels of worry and distress on their faces. Minus Sunghoon who seemed calm, more so than usual, and almost expectant.

They silently sat around the bed and you felt your heart warm slightly seeing them all together like this, knowing it could potentially be the last time you did if things were to go as wrong as you were expecting. Jake was scooting back into his spot beside you, Jay following so he was on your other side. Heeseung climbed into the middle of the bed and hesitantly placed a comforting hand on your knee like he wasn’t sure it was appropriate.

Your gaze locked on Sunghoon’s as he sat on the end of the bed, slightly distanced from the rest of you.

“Do you want to say it or should I?” Jake was murmuring from beside you and you appreciated his nice gesture, willing to take the heat of voicing it out loud.

“She should say it.” Sunghoon was immediately disagreeing in a stern voice and all of your eyes went to him. You noticed a slightly hurt look in his eyes and you were beginning to think he didn’t know as much as you assumed he did. “If you guys are together now, she should be the one to tell us.”

He immediately proved you right in your assumption, clearly misreading the situation and coming to a false conclusion.

You felt a heavy guilt and sadness wash over you at the thought of how he must’ve been feeling this entire time, sitting and thinking you had chosen Jake after just sending him mixed signals by hooking up with him. You wished he wasn’t sitting so far away so you could reach out and touch him but now you understood why he was.

“We aren’t together.” You were shaking your head and Jake nudged your side gently with his elbow, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively with a smirk and trying to lighten the situation. “Okay well maybe we are apparently but it’s more than that.”

You looked over to see their reactions and if anybody had caught on to what was happening yet. Heeseung was looking down at his hands with furrowed eyebrows, betrayal and sadness radiating off of him but Jay on the other side of you almost looked happy for you, a soft calm smile on his face.

“I want to date Jake.” You started to explain, hands coming out in front of you in slight frustration for your lack of words. You decided to just say it outright. “But I want to date Heeseung too, and also Jay. Sunghoon you too.”

Similarly to how it was when you said this to Jake earlier, the room fell silent and you almost bodily cringed at the way the words seem to just hang in the air obnoxiously. You wanted to curl into a ball and not move until they all left the room.

You didn’t want to look at their expressions, not sure you could handle the confusion and possibly heartbreak on their faces at this news. You were still figuring that this was going to be the end of it all and knowing you were sitting here and tearing apart your family for the selfish sliver of hope they could accept your feelings was crushing you.

“I mean,” Jake was clearing his throat from next to you and you glanced at him expectantly. “Feel however you guys feel but, just for the record, I’m okay with it.”

“What?” Sunghoon’s voice sounded just as upset as it had before you clarified and you forced yourself to look at him. His body was turned towards you guys now like he wasn’t sure he was hearing you properly. “How could you be okay with that?”

“Personally I don’t think it’d be that different.” Jay sounded casual next to you and you turned your teary eyes towards him just in time to see his shoulders fall from a nonchalant shrug. “I’m basically already dating Y/N while she’s with you guys so what’s the major shift in adding an official label to it.”

“She may be with you guys but she’s not with me.” Sunghoon was scoffing and you looked at him again, slightly hurt at his angry words. He wasn’t one to lose his temper but you imagine the fact it’d only been a new development between the two of you was making it harder on him than the others, who had plenty experience being with you. Both alone and in pairs.

“But I want to be.” You were telling him as earnestly as you could, scooting forward slightly so he’d keep his attention on you. You wanted him to see how sincere you were, not wanting him to feel like a last choice. “I’m not saying it just so you’re included, I really mean it.”

“It’s always been you and Jake.” He was spitting, looking more frustrated at your closing distance. “After all these years suddenly you notice me?”

The other boys didn’t say anything, understanding this was something that dated back before their addition to the friend group. You didn’t speak immediately either, professing what he was trying to say.

Sunghoon was displaying insecurity you’d never seen from him before and you felt a wave of guilt at the fact you’d never even considered it to be something he’d feel. If he had any feelings for you other than sexual, he’d done a good job at hiding it but you felt shameful that he had apparently felt left out or like you’d picked Jake over him at some point.

“You’re crazy Hoon.” Heeseung was finally speaking and Sunghoon dropped your gaze to look at the boy. You couldn’t see his expression since he was looking over his shoulder to face your upset friend. “I knew she was inlove with you guys the day I met you all, atleast you had a shot.”

“Are you not listening to what she’s saying?” Jay suddenly sounded annoyed and you could feel him tensing next to you.

The room got quiet again as you all looked over at him. You were starting to feel like you were getting whiplash from the constant focus changes, mixed with the different statements and scenarios suddenly being confessed.

“You all had a shot, and guess what it landed dude.” It was weird hearing Jay sound so fed up but as he implied earlier, he clearly has been observing this long enough to know it without being told, having entered the group most recently and spent alot of intimate time with you. “She loves you all, us all.”

He was looking at you as he said the last two words, correcting himself with a small smile on his face. You tried to return the warmness in his eyes despite the tears still clouding your vision.

“You love me?” Heeseung was talking again, sounding breathless like he had just fully processed what was happening. His eyes were big and round and you felt your heart warm at the sight of him. You knew suddenly that no matter what happened now, you had made the right choice.

“Of course I love you.” You said it to him more directly and he looked overwhelmed for a second before smiling softly at you and nodding.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t necessarily need to be making out with you idiots but I do love you guys too.” Jake was shrugging from beside you and you heard Jay snort a laugh on your other side at his casual comments.

“This is actually what you want to do?” Sunghoon was finally talking again but he looked and sounded a lot less angry, still having a slightly guarded expression on his face.

You looked at each boy carefully, all laying together in different ways on Jake’s bed and your heart felt full and happy, most of all safe. They’d been your family for so long and you didn’t want to be anywhere else, with any of them missing or somebody different in their place.

“More than anything.”

806 notes · View notes

kookluvre · 2 years

Text

gold is dull. || jjk || 03

your once-love abandoned you to chase his dreams as a boxer, leaving you and unknowingly, at the time, his son. as much as you want to forget him, you can't. you see him on the billboard, tv commercials, and in your son's room, reminding you of everything you once were. “momma! please take me to golden boy's fight! he’s fighting here! in our hometown. please, momma. for my birthday? i wanna see him in person!”

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

genre: boxer!jk, dilf!jk, single mom! oc, heavy angst, ex-boyfriend, eventual smut, fluff, slow-burn

chapter warnings: fighting, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of illness, mentions off-screen death, angst,

chapter wc: 8.3k

A/N: chapter 3 is here!!! i can't thank you enough for loving ch2 <3. i hope ya'll love ch3, as well. i will tell you, though, that this chapter 3 has more dialogue and description rather than oc internal dialogue. pls don't hate me for it 🥲. also this chapter is a lil more fluffy (i think, not really?) but with that strong angsty backbone 😍. okay that's enough, enjoyyyy now♥️.

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“What? Here to offer me more money?” You sigh.

The anger that you felt earlier that day has dissipated. You don’t have any more energy to continue being pissed nor to tell him off.

“No. To talk to you. Can I come in?” Jungkook straightens up from the leaned position he found himself in before you opened the door. A pained expression on his eyes. The doe eyes you once saw every galaxy in them, just appear defeated and dark.

You open the door wider, prompting him to come into your apartment. You’re left with no choice than to let him in due to your delicate and nosy neighbors. They’ll call the landlord or even the police at the sound of any arguments.

Jungkook looks down, “_____, Min-su’s my child?” He’s frozen. Unable to move his hands from his pockets or straighten his caved-in chest. He knows the answer to the question from earlier today, but he still asks.

“Yes! Cmon Jungkook!” You desperately throw your hands into the air. “What? You just forget the letter I sent four years ago?!” Your sentence starts as a whisper but increases in volume with every word. You thought you had no more anger left.

“I. Don’t. Know. What letter you’re talking about! And I didn’t send my manager to meet with you!” Your anger gives Jungkook the room to feel something. Shame. Stress. Fear. His voice tenses and he begins to pace back and forth.

You frantically walk over to your kitchen and get a stool from the counter in order to reach the top of your refrigerator to get the old cereal box. Jungkook is behind you, following your every move, “What are you doing? Please, _____. Just talk to me. This is the first time that I hear about this.” He pleads. You grab the cereal box and pull an old wrinkled and folded paper from it.

“Here! Maybe this’ll refresh your memory!” You shove him the letter right at the center of his chest.

Four years ago, you sent Jungkook a letter to let him know he was a dad. You believed he deserved to know what was happening, and maybe a part of you felt that having him by your side at one of the darkest times of your life would make everything brighter.

Jungkook desperately opens the folded piece of paper and begins reading it. His hands tremble. Tears stream down his face and his tattooed hand comes over his mouth. A feeling of empathy begins to settle in your heart at seeing him in such a vulnerable state. Your face softens at the sight of his hard-felt emotions.

“I-I-I am so sorry, ______. This is my first- I-ve- I’ve never seen this before,” Jungkook stutters with shaky breaths, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

He takes a seat on the counter stool, hands covering his eyes in frustration. He wipes his nose with his hand, then extends it out to yours, placing his hand on top of yours. You feel your muscles tense at his action. You feel a knot forming in your throat and tears fill your eyes. “If I knew you were going through this, I’d leave everything behind and come back to you and him.” His grip on your hand tightening. You remove your hand from his hold. Only if he knew. You sniff back your tears and turn away from him. You don’t want him to see the tears streaming down your face.

“I-i-is he all better now?!” Jungkook abruptly stands from the stool.

“Yes.” You look to the side with hands on your waist. Jungkook lets out a relieved breath, softening his muscles.

“When did you find out you were pregnant?” He calmly asks.

You turn to him to meet his eyes, “Three weeks after you left.”

When you found out you were expecting a child, you didn’t want to chase after Jungkook. You felt that if you chased after him, it’d be like you were forcing him to stay with you. You felt like you would be trapping him in a life he clearly didn’t want to have, hence the abandonment. You didn’t want to be that person to Jungkook.

However, even if you wanted to, this would have never been possible. You had no way of locating him or contacting him. Jungkook had become a ghost to everyone he knew. There was nothing that could hint where he was staying. A year later, though, Seokjin got a job at the police station, giving you access to Jungkook’s details and information, which allowed you to send him the letter to a location that was listed in his records.

“Oh god. Why didn’t you tell me anything?! It was only three weeks, _____!” Jungkook’s tensed pleading hands move up and down, emphasizing the last three words.

“How could I?! You disappeared!” Hands coming to your hips, slowly shaking your head. Jungkook knows you’re correct. There really was no way to reach him.

He bites his lower lip, in complete defiance, nodding his head. Tears at the edge of his eyes appear again, “I’m sorry.” He whispers. You nod. You have an unsettling, conflicting feeling in your stomach. Jungkook didn’t know he had a son with you. It wasn’t him who sent that letter.

Does that change anything for you?

“Give me the opportunity to care for him, _______. Give me the chance to be his father.” He whispers the last part of his sentence.

“I-I don’t know, Jungkook. This is too much for me to think of right now. Give me some time and space.” You face down to the floor, unable to look at him. The utter silence you both stand in is interrupted by Min-su’s steps coming towards the kitchen. You signal Jungkook with your hand to crouch down behind the kitchen counter so Min-Su won’t see him.

“Mommy?” Min-Su appears from the hallway, wiping his eyes. He’s been awaken by the noise in the kitchen area.

“Hey baby, sh-shh it’s okay. It’s just the TV.” You walk over to Min-Su and carry him over to his room.“Go to sleep, papa. Here I’ll turn on the lamp.” You kiss his forehead and stay by his side rubbing his back, until he’s fully back asleep. You walk back into the living room and roll your neck and eyes. You massage your neck as you’re emotionally and physically exhausted from the conversation with Jungkook.

“Did he go back to sleep? I’m sorry for being so loud.” He says.

Your hands go to your chest, “Shit. You scared me. You’re still here?”

He looks around you defeatedly. He scurries to the side table when he spots a pen and notepad, writing a something on it. “Whenever you’re ready, call this number. Time, day, doesn’t matter, just call it. I’ll be there waiting.” He sniffs. “Just-just let me be a part of his life. Doesn’t matter how.” He half smiles with a broken, yet hopeful, look in his eyes.

Jungkook sees you, Daeun, and Seokjin playing with Min-Su at the park. Seokjin is teaching Min-Su how to ride the bike that Grandpa gifted him for his birthday slash Christmas. Jungkook is parked far away for you not to spot him, but close enough to see Min-Su enjoying his time with family.

“Okay, now we’re going to try without the wheelies. Can he do it? What do ya’ll think?” Seokjin asks you and Daeun as you sit in the bench.

“Hmmm… I don’t know. Seems scared. Can you do it?” Daeun says teasing Min-Su. You laugh, “Of course, my superhero baby can do it, right?!” You scurry over to him, giving him a high five. Min-Su’s nose scrunching, smiling with only his two front teeth.

“Cmon Min-Su, don’t think you have the wheelies off. Just do what you’ve been doing.” Seokjin kneels down beside Min-Su giving him instructions. Min-Su attempts it multiple times and fails, falling on his full behind. “I can’t do it, Mom!” His lips forming a small pout. “Yes, you can. Cmon, I’ll be behind you.”

“Let’s go kiddo, you can do it.” Jungkook whispers from the car. He makes an encouraging motion on his fist.

You get behind the bike, and push him outward. You hold onto him, until he’s finally doing it alone. “You’re doing it baby!” You exclaim.

“Are you behind me, mama?”

“It’s all you! I’m over here! Yayyyyy Min su!” You shout as he pulls further and further away from you. You jump up and down and run to him. Daeun records the moment. Min-Su is smiling. You’re smiling. A beautiful and happy moment that will be remembered by Min-Su’s family, including Jungkook.

Jungkook is happy that he at least has the privilege to know that Min-Su is his son. He’s glad Min-su and you live a happy life with the support of Seokjin and Daeun. His eyes glisten when he sees you lift Min-su up and bounce him up and down on your hip, as when he was toddler. Jungkook’s eyes long for more, though. He wishes it were him teaching Min-su how to ride a bike. It destroys him knowing he missed so many of Min-su’s first. His first word. His first steps. His first day of school. His first birthday.

A tear falls down Jungkook’s face. “Okay. Let’s go, now.” He tells his driver.

It’s been two weeks ever since Jungkook came over to your apartment. You haven’t contacted the number he left. You feel unsure whether you’re ready to let him into your son’s life, knowing how bad he hurt you when he abandoned you. However, you also know that was between you and him, which has nothing to do with your son’s life. You know you know you’re going to call him sooner or later, for Min-su’s sake, but you continue keep putting it off.

It’s Monday and you have no work. Not because your boss gave you a day off, but because the restaurant was closed since the AC did not work. Min-su is at school, so this is the time to have your own time and relax without any mom duties. When you’re about to soak yourself in your bathtub to relieve the stress this daddy thing with Jungkook has brought you, you’re interrupted by the knock on your front door.

“Coming!” You shout. You figure it’s just the delivery guy knocking on your door to alert you he’s dropped off your groceries. You wrap yourself in a towel and quickly walk to the door.

It’s not your delivery guy. It’s a tall, muscular, blonde-haired 6-foot man. You’ve seen this man before. He’s stopped you twice from getting to Jungkook. Kim Namjoon, Jungkook’s bodyguard, is standing right at your door.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He politely looks away when he sees you are only wearing a towel around your body.

“Cmon, it’s just a towel,” Your comment sounding a tad snarky, “What are you doing here? I told Jungkook to give me some time.” Your face tenses up.

“Jungkook doesn’t know I’m here. I was hoping I could talk to you. I can come at another time, if you’re busy.” Namjoon looks down. Still feeling uncomfortable at the sight of you only wearing a towel.

This catches you off guard. What could Jungkook’s bodyguard possibly want with you? Confused yet curious, you let him in. “Here, you can sit here. I’ll be right back.” You go to the bathroom to turn off the water and to your bedroom to put some clothes on.

“So?” You swallow a large gulp of saliva, that even Namjoon is able to hear. You’re trying to remain calm and cool, but you’re an extremely nervous person, imagining the numerous possibilities of why he’s there.

“I wanted to ask you to give Jungkook an opportunity.” You find yourself completely stunned at his statement. Why is he the one telling you this? Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “He’s like my brother. I’ve known him, since he,” His choice of words give him a pause.

“Since he left me, right. And?” You complete his phrase, easing the awkwardness of his sentence.

“He didn’t know he had a son. Trust me, I wouldn’t be working for him if I knew he had a son he neglected.” He chuckles and turns to look at you. This is the first time you see an expression, other than the brooding and serious bodyguard look, on Namjoon’s face. Two charming dimples appearing at both ends of his smile.

“I think Jungkook and your son deserve to get to know each other. It’s good for your kid. To know he has someone else that loves and cares for him. Knowing his dad can’t hurt him,” he pauses, “I know my kid and I would’ve loved another opportunity at that.” Namjoon looks back down at the floor. A pleasant and accepting smile on his face yet his eyes holding a bit of sadness.

“You have a kid?” Your shoulders bend down, letting your walls down. Knowing that Namjoon is a dad allows you to feel comfort with him. There’s a trusting and warm feeling that stems from parents.

However, Namjoon stands up at your question and is back to his stiffened posture. Unsure what to do, you mirror his actions. As he’s walking towards the door, he looks back and tells you, “Hopefully, this isn't the last time we see each other.”

“Hey, I-i was going to call him already. But thank you, anyway.” You give Namjoon a warm smile. He nods and heads out.

Your conversation with Namjoon gave you the push you needed to call Jungkook. It’s true that knowing Jungkook can’t hurt Min-su, it’ll only make him happy. You knew all this already. However, hearing it from someone else makes you truly believe it.

That same day, when Min-su is finally asleep, you’ve finally come to grab the notepad from the table drawer. After an hour of staring at it, you grab your phone and dial the phone number.

“______! Um, hi!” Jungkook nervously exclaims, picking up at the first tone. You’re taken back by how fast he picked up the call. Guess he was waiting.

“Okay.” You dryly respond. Your voice is confident, however behind the phone, you are rubbing your hands on your thighs and biting your lip.

“ ‘Okay’ what?” A confused tone to Jungkook’s voice.

“Okay to letting you be in his life.” You tap your foot.

“Can I see him tomorrow?!” You feel Jungkook’s excitement through the phone. Baby, shhh, it’s up to Mama. You hear Jiah tell him.

“You and I need to talk first. About Min-Su and all of that.” You continue to tap your foot. Now faster.

“Right. Of course. I’ll send you my address. I’m free all day tomorrow.”

“6:30 PM.” You hang up.

You got out of work at 6:00 PM and now you were heading over to Jungkook’s house. Daeun had picked up Min-su from school and you asked her to keep him a little longer as you were meeting with his father.

Your eyes widen as you arrive to your destination. Jungkook’s mansion is two-stories with contemporary architecture. The outside is a neutral beige color. The golden lighting from inside the house shines on to your eyes. As you walk to the door, you whisper to yourself, “What is this? Parasite?” The house clearly resembles the one from the movie.

You ring the doorbell, anxiously tapping your leg as you wait for someone to answer. “Hello, ____.” An elderly woman greets you and leads you to the living room. “Mr. Jeon will be right down.” She smiles and leaves you there. Your mouth slowly opening in amazement as you slowly spin looking at the size of Jungkook’s house. Your whole apartment in the size of only the living room. You walk over to see the photos he has on the console table against the wall. There’s pictures of him, Jiah, and some other people you don’t recognize.

“That’s when I won my first championship.” He points to one of the photos on the table. Jungkook’s presence makes you stiffen your posture.

“I made dinner. Let’s eat something.” He signals to follow him to the kitchen. As much as you’re hungry, you don’t want to stay to eat. You want to get this over with as fast as possible. You feel strange being in the same house with Jungkook and his fiancé.

You stay still in the living room, “No. Can we just get to it?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Sure.” Jungkook returns to the living room and takes a seat on the couch, placing his hands on his legs and leaning forward, ready to hear everything you have to say. He extends his palm, bringing it down to the sofa, requesting you to sit. You accept.

“He can’t know you’re his dad. Not yet. It’s too much of a change.” You instruct Jungkook.

He nods in understanding. “Yes, of course.”

You don’t want Min-Su to know Jungkook is his dad just yet because it’s too soon. One day he knows him as a celebrity and now he’s suddenly his dad. It wouldn’t make sense to him. He needs to first get to know Jungkook as Jungkook and not as Jeon the Golden Boy.

“I need to be with Min-Su every time you’re with him.” Your eyes fixed everywhere that isn’t him. You’re looking at the sofa. His shoes. Your hands. Your purse. His arms. Your thighs.

You feel and will feel uncomfortable at being such a close proximity to Jungkook, but Min-Su will need you there with him. Maybe it’s you the only one who feels the need to be there.

“Yes. That’s not a problem.” He smiles.

“This all needs to happen without anyone knowing, okay? No public eye for Min-Su or me. We don’t want any of that.” Your tone becoming more serious. Reporters were one of the things that you found yourself most afraid of. You found yourself scared at the thought of Min-su seeing what they’d write about you or Jungkook on the tabloids if they found out Jungkook had a hidden son.

“You don’t need to worry about any of that. I promise you I have the best team taking care of all that.” Jungkook reassures you.

A silence lingers over the two of you. Unsure what else to say, you grab your bag, getting ready to leave. As you’re about to stand up, Jungkook interrupts you, “_______, um, I’d like to support you.”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you’re unsure what he means.

“Financially, I mean. I haven’t been helping you out all these years. I feel like I have to. I want to.” He reiterates.

You shake your head, “No, Jungkook. I don’t need child support or any of that.” It doesn’t come to you a surprise that he wants to help. He’s loaded. Of course he wants to. Sending money over to you won’t affect him a tiny bit, but you don’t want his money. You simply want Jungkook and Min-Su to have a relationship.

“But-” Jungkook wants to insist on giving you money.

“No, buts. You’re enough for Min-Su. He doesn’t need any money.” You say clenching your purse and standing up. You walk over to the door and Jungkook follows behind you.

“When can I see him?” Jungkook asks as you’re about to leave. Your eyes widen at the question since you had completely forgotten to plan a good time for Min-Su and Jungkook to see each other.

“Right,” You let out a slight nervous chuckle. The first time Jungkook sees that on your face. He chuckles a bit, too. “Tomorrow 3:00 PM. We have a doctor’s appointment at 1:00, he’ll be out by then. He likes to be treated with Pizza after needles.” You are going to leave work early tomorrow to get Min-Su out of school for his monthly check up with his doctor.

“Pizza it is.” Jungkook’s full smile makes an appearance. He feels grateful that he is being let in little by little to Min-su’s daily life.

You feel something in your chest every time you see his smile. You feel endeared by the happiness that appears on Jungkook’s eyes at the thought of seeing his son.

Although endearing, you feel angry at Jungkook. The anger you've felt all these years has only maximized. He's had the opportunity these past few days to apologize to you for abandoning you. You feel weak for still waiting for that real apology from him that will probably never come. You feel dumb for wanting it. It's clearly not in his mind, so why should it be on yours.

Jungkook sent you the address to Kang’s Palace. You expected a small dining pizza place, but he chose a whole amusement center with an arcade, laser tag, and gravity ropes. You’re a bit nervous to be seen in public with Jungkook, but he promised you that you and Min-Su would never be in the spotlight. You chose to trust him and agreed to go to the place.

As you arrive to Kang’s Palace, you wait in the car, confused whether to get off or not. There are no cars in the parking lot, except a black SUV and an emerald green Aston Martin Vantage. You recognize that green car parked at Jungkook’s house, so you figure it’s him.

“Momma, why aren’t we getting off? I want to see Jeon!” Min-su jumps up and down in his carseat, looking out the window of the car.

“I think it’s closed babes. Let me text-”

“No momma. Look, there’s someone waving to us!” Min-su points at the door of the amusement center. Namjoon is waving at you to get off the car and join them inside. Jungkook had rented the place for the whole evening so there wouldn’t be any distractions or press that would ruin the day for him and Min-su.

As you approach Namjoon, you greet him with a small smile and a “Hi.” He nods and bows to you. As soon as you enter the center, Min-su lets go off your hand and goes running to Jungkook. He’s completely star struck when he sees Jungkook as he only knows him as the famous boxer he sees on TV. He stands in front of him speechless, eyes widening at the visual of his idol.

Jungkook crouches down at Min-su, his hand wanting to come up to Min-su’s cheek, wanting to embrace the warmth of his son’s face. But quickly brings it down as it might be a bit weird for Min-su. Tears appear on the edge of his eyes, blurring his eyesight. Just like Min-su, Jungkook also finds himself speechless at the sight of Min-su. This is the first time he sees Min-su up close after knowing it’s his son. You notice Jungkook tense up at the moment he is in front of Min-su, so you help him out. Even with all the history between you and Jungkook, you still want them to have a successful relationship.

“Hey Min-su! Remember when we said that Jeon and I were friends? We still are! That’s why we’re here to eat some pizza and play! You like that?” You have a wide smile on your face which Min-su mirrors back at you and then him. You figured it’d be good to tell Min-su this again to make him more comfortable with Jungkook.

“Jeon!” Min-su exclaims and throws his body at Jungkook, hugging him. Jungkook is first stunned at the hug, but he soon gets out of it, and he tightly brings his arm around Min-su. Jungkook shuts his eyes, letting every emotion come over him when he was Min-su in his arms.

The hug is interrupted by a sultry voice, “Since we’re all friends here, why don’t we all call him Jungkook and not Jeon?” Jiah tells Min-su. You’re still a bit uncomfortable with Jiah being close to Min-su, but you know you’ll have to get used to it sooner or later since he is marrying Jungkook and will become Min-su’s step-mom.

“Jungkook!” Min-su exclaims and giggles when he turns to look at you and then Jungkook. You love seeing Min-su so ecstatic about all this. Namjoon was correct. Knowing his dad, especially if it’s Jungkook, won’t hurt him. As much as it pains you to admit it, every where Jungkook shows up, there is a light that comes with him. These thoughts that you still have about Jungkook anger you. Even with everything he did to you, you still have these certain positive thoughts about him. These thoughts are at the stem of your cold persona in front of Jungkook.

In the round table Min-Su chose to sit at, Min-su sits between you and Jungkook, with Namjoon besides you and next to Jiah who is besides Jungkook. The pizza is joined by laughters especially between Jungkook, Namjoon, and Min-su. This is the first-time, well second-time, you see Namjoon act like a regular person and not a bodyguard. You get to witness the brotherly relationship Jungkook and Namjoon have. It reminds you of what Jungkook and Seokjin once had.

“Momma. I don’t want to eat anymore.” Min-su had only eaten half a pizza. He is eager to go play.

“C’mon baby, you need to eat. If you don’t finish it, there’s no games.” You raise your eyebrows, “Don’t make me do the airplane you so hate now.” You laugh. When Min-su didn’t want to eat, you’d get the food and make airplane noises, flying it right to his mouth. When Min-su was smaller, he used to love it. Now he is “too old for that.” Min-su quickly grabs the pizza and eats it. Funny how “the airplane” makes him eat his food either way.

“Who is ready to go play?” Jungkook raises his eyebrows at Min-su.

“Meeeee!” Min-su jumps off his chair and takes Jungkook’s hand. Jiah gets up from her seat and joins them.

“Momma, you’re not coming?” Min-su asks you.

“No babes, I’ll watch you from here. Go with Jungkook.” You stay in the table with Namjoon.

It’s kind of awkward as Namjoon is only giving you one word responses to everything you ask. You’re trying to make any sort of conversation, but Namjoon doesn’t crack. He’s back to his bodyguard ways. You’re thinking hard about something to ask that will give you something other than a “yes” or “no.” You feel clever at the question you’ve just came up with. You think it’s appropriate to ask him right now since the meeting of today is about children. Why didn’t I think of this sooner.

“Last time you mentioned you had a kid. They around Min-su’s age?” You cheerily ask.

Your question only makes Namjoon be quieter than before. He tenses up at it, too. He stands up and joins Jungkook, leaving you all alone at the table. Shit. You pretend you are using your phone and texting someone, but all you really are doing is opening and closing the weather app and typing nonsense in the notes app.

About 30 minutes pass, and Min-su returns to the table to drink some Sprite. “Momma! Let’s play Laser Tag!” He takes your hand and drags you out of the seat. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to play.

“In my team, I want momma and Jungkook!” Min-su’s bunny smile appearing on his face. You smile back at him and so does Jungkook. You really wish you weren’t on Jungkook’s team right now, but you are left with no alternative since that’s what Min-su wants. The three of you huddle and Jungkook cheer, “Let’s get it!” Hands go in the middle and up as the three of you cheer the team’s name “Min-su!”

Throughout the game, you let your inner child take over you, running and strategizing with Min-su behind the barricade, “Baby, you take Namjoon and I take Jiah!” You high five Min-su and you’re both off to attack the opposite team. Jungkook observes you and a smile appears on his face. He loves to see you and Min-su having this much fun with each other. He’s thankful he gets to witness that.

“You’re just as competitive as I remember.” Jungkook chuckles as he meets you from behind.

You roll your eyes at him, trying to act calm and cool, although you feel somewhat flustered at his comment. You feel odd knowing he still remembers things about you. You blame what you feel on the dark lighting of the arena.

Your thoughts, however, are soon interrupted by Min-su cries, “Mommy!” coming from the front of the room. You and Jungkook call out to him since you can’t see very much. The lights turn on as the game ends, making it much easier to find him.

You find him sitting on the floor, grabbing his knee. Min-su’s face and eyes are red as a tomato and the crying snot and tears are falling all the way to his shirt.

“Baby, what happened? You hurt your knee?” You coddle him in order for the crying to stop. Jungkook bends down beside you, unsure what to do.

“I tri-tripped and cut my-my knee,” Min-su stutters through the tears. “Let me see, baby.” You remove his hand from his knee. It’s nothing big. Just small scrapes. Min-su probably got scared over the blood.

You lean onto Jungkook ear, “Can you, um, carry him?” You hate having to converse with Jungkook, however, you’re still trying to make Min-su have a comfortable relationship with his dad, and that includes having to help Jungkook have a comfortable relationship with Min-su.

“What?” His eyes widen, “I mean, yes. Yes. Of course.” Jungkook lifts him up and takes him to the nearest bench. As Min-su is more calmed, you wipe away his tears with you shirt. Namjoon comes over with a first-aid kit and a bag of ice the workers gave him. He cleans his knee and places the ice bag on top of it.

“See, you’re all better now.” You smile at Min-su.

“You’ll probably scar a little, kid.” Namjoon tells him.

“It’s okay. I want to, like Jungkook hyung!” He turns to look at him, his full smile again on display.

“That’s right. They’re called battle scars.” He smiles.

“Battle scars.” Min-su repeats after him.

The day comes to an end and you’re heading to your home with Min-su. Through the car ride, Min-su won’t stop telling you what him and Jungkook were talking about, mostly about boxing and cars. A smile never leaving his face throughout the whole car ride. Your eyes glisten at the sound of his laughs and his excitement. You are now 100% sure that Min-su knowing his dad will be a good thing for him. For you…who knows.

As you arrive to your apartment, Min-su runs straight to his room. You follow after him, a bit confused at his actions. He suddenly starts removing all the posters he has of Jungkook in his room.

“What-what are you doing, Min-su?” You stutter, clearly scared.

“I’m taking them off!” Min-su excitedly goes on to the next wall. He’s not mad. He’s not sad. He’s happy and excited.

“Okay… why?” Now you’re just confused.

“He’s my friend now! Jungkook told me he wants to be my friend, forever!” He exclaims.

You sigh with a hand over your heart with a smile appearing on your face. Min-su becoming closer to Jungkook will be easier than you imagined. You help Min-su remove the posters he can’t reach.

Later that night Jungkook texts you.

11:23PM Jungkook: Did he have fun?

11:43PM You: Yes

11:44PM Jungkook: Did he say anything about me?

12:01PM You send him a photo of Min-su’s empty postered room.

12:01AM Jungkook: What happened? I thought he said he had a lot of posters of me.

12:01AM Jungkook: Did he not like me?

12:03AM Jungkook: __________ ??

12:10AM You: He said you’re his friend. Friends don’t have posters of each other.

12:11AM Jungkook: 😅. I had fun. Thank you

You head over to Daeun and Seokjin’s house after work to pick up Min-su. You are extremely tired since it’s a Monday. Monday are always busy at the restaurant. There’s something about today that make people make crave Italian cuisine.

“Oh god, look at you!” Seokjin exclaims as you walk into their house rubbing your neck exhausted from standing up 11 hours with only two 5 minute breaks. “Here, I made some gimbap earlier today.” Seokjin slides the plate of gimbap over to you. “Thank you.” You stuff your mouth with the gimbap. “Where’s Daeun and Min-su?”

“Daeun needed to get some things from her office. Min-su wanted to go with her,” Seokjin tells you,“Sooo…” Seokjin raises his eyerbrows with suspicion in his gaze.

“Mmm.” You furrow your eyebrows at the taste of the good.

“Are we going to see you and Jungkook be all over each other again?” Seokjin laughs.

You choke on your food, “Dude! The guy’s engaged!” You shake your head.

“I’m kidding!” He raises his hands signaling you to calm down. “For real though, you good with seeing Jungkook and his fiance together, plus Min-su?”

“Really? I’m past all that. Plus, the focus is Min-su. We’re both just here for him.” You roll your eyes at his question.

“Hm, okay.” Seokjin smirks and takes a sip of his drink.

“If he didn’t have a son with me, I wouldn’t be seeing him and he wouldn’t be seeing me.” An awkward pause rests over you two. “Alright where are these two? I need to go home and shower!” You quickly change the topic.

On the way home, you can’t shake off the conversation with Seokjin. It’s true. If it wasn’t for Min-su, you’d never reconnect with Jungkook. You wouldn’t have shown up at the boxing fight that day. You wouldn’t have met up with his asshole of a manager. He’d probably just be an ex-boyfriend you were in love with five years ago. That’s probably what I’ve been to him all these years. But that’s obviously not the case. You’re not a firm believer of the universe having a plan for everyone, but this gives you just some hope that maybe everything does happen for a reason, whether that be reconnecting with Jungkook for Min-su’s sake or simply finding that extra happiness that you’ve been longing for all these years, whatever that is.

Min-su and Jungkook have been spending more and more time with each other these past few weeks. They’ve been hanging out at his house in the play room that Jungkook recently had built specifically for Min-su or at public places that he’s rented out. These meetings never consist of only you three, you’re always joined by Namjoon or Jiah. Jiah is besides Jungkook all the time, although she doesn’t really make the effort to talk to Min-su. Namjoon has added to his one-word sentences about two more words, so fortunately, you’re able to talk to him a bit more without it being completely awkward. You and Jungkook converse only when Min-su is involved. Other than that, you don’t really talk to each other. He tries to make small talk here and there, but you shut him off with “yes” and “no." There’s also those times you don’t even answer him.

It’s Sunday and you have no work. Min-su is bored, playing on his iPad in his room and you’re ready to watch the new episode of your favorite TV show. Jungkook hasn’t seen Min-su all week long because he had to travel out of the city to shoot a commercial. As you’re about to get comfortable since the show is about to start, you get a text message.

6:07 PM Jungkook: I want to see Min-su. I miss him🥲

As you’re about to leave him on read, there’s a knock on your door. You grunt and get up to open the door. When will you be at peace to watch your show?

Namjoon is standing there.

6:04 PM Jungkook: I already sent Namjoon, sorry😧

You roll your eyes at his text. You wouldn’t have agreed to go, but Min-su has been asking for Jungkook all week long. “Gosh, isn’t he one?” You tell Namjoon and chuckle. “Min-su! We’re going over to Jungkook’s house!”

Min-su comes running straight out of his room, quickly putting his on his shoes, “Okay ready!” He exclaims.

Jungkook opens the door wearing a see-through green lounge set that gives you access to see his godly figure through it. You’re trying your best to keep your eyes away from his chest, torso, and tighs. You’re trying to focus on everything that isn’t him, but that lounge set leaves very little to the imagination.

“Jungkook hyung!” Min-su exclaims as he runs to hug Jungkook. You’ve gotten used to the running hug as this is how they always greet each other. You love to see it every time.

“Hi kiddo!” He hugs Min-su. When he crouches down, he looks up at you, mouthing “Hey” with a pleasant smile. You only nod.

“Hey bud, what do you want to watch?” Jungkook searches for a movie on the TV. Min-su jumps and shouts, “Toy Story!” “Alright, kiddo. Toy Story it is then!” Jungkook laughs.

“Hey, um, is it okay if I go to the backyard?” You ask Jungkook. He looks a bit confused as he thought you’d be joining them. You don’t want to watch Toy Story, again. It’s Jungkook’s turn to go through the Toy Story phase with Min-su.

“Uh-yeah-yes. Sure,” Jungkook replies, “You’re not going to watch it with us?”

“No. Min-su, Mom will just be outside.” Min-su doesn’t turn to look at you as his eyes are glued to the movie.

You’re outside enjoying the clear air and silence. It’s nice to be able to go outside and not hear the busy noises of the city. The fire pit is turned on at the center of the patio. The warmth and the smell of the burning wood make you drift into an afternoon nap.

A door closing wakes you up.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Namjoon sits on the chair next to yours.

“Oh no, it’s okay. I’m a light sleeper.” You chuckle.

You let the nature sounds and Min-su and Jungkook’s chuckles from the living room join you and Namjoon’s silence. You like hearing them have a good time together. “You were correct.” You raise your eyebrows at Namjoon pointing to the living room. Min-su loves to be around Jungkook; they bring happiness to each other.

“I wish I could’ve had that opportunity with my daughter.” He gently smiles, looking up to the sky. The air, the fire, the weather, and your presence makes Namjoon feel comfortable enough to share this with you.

“Are you not allowed to see her?” You ask.

“Her mom let me be part of her life when it was too late,” He looks back down at you, “She had cancer. She passed away five years ago.”

“Oh, Namjoon. I am so sorry.” You hold his hand, with a gentle touch, looking at his eyes.

“It’s okay. Choi-hee was her name.” Another gentle smile appearing on his face.

Your hold on his hand tightening and your eyes fixated on his gaze. “If you ever need anyone to talk to— about anything, I’m here.”

Your heart breaks for Namjoon. This is why he was so adamant on Jungkook and Min-su’s relationship to work. He wanted Jungkook to not go through the same thing of not being able to meet his kid. Namjoon wishes he would’ve had the opportunity to know his daughter for a longer period of time, and not only the day she passed.

You hear a throat clear. Namjoon quickly moves his hand away from yours at the sight of Jungkook.

“It’s 8:00.” Jungkook stands at the door. You had told Jungkook that you’d be leaving at that time, since Min-su has school tomorrow.

“Oh. Right.” You blink several times. You wish you didn’t have to leave Namjoon’s company after he shares something like that, but you have no choice.

“Min-su, let’s go! Time to leave.” You start putting Min-su’s coat, scarf, and beanie on him. “Say goodbye to Jungkook.”

“I’ll take you home. I have nothing to do anyway.” Jungkook shrugs his shoulders off. You figured it’d be Namjoon taking you home since that’s always how it is, but you guess it’s Jungkook today since Jiah isn’t there.

“Let’s go” He grabs his keys from the table. Namjoon also grabs the keys to the SUV as he usually follows behind him when Jungkook drives his own cars.

“Nah. It’s good. Take the night off.” Jungkook tells Namjoon.

Jungkook gets off his car and walks up the apartment with you and Min-su.

“Alright say bye and thanks to Jungkook.” You tell Min-su as you’re opening the door to the apartment.

“Bye Jungkook hyung! Thanks.” Min-su hugs Jungkook again.

Min-su enters your apartment and drops off his backpack on the couch and goes skipping to his room. As you’re closing the door, you notice Jungkook staring inside your apartment, looking at everything Min-su is doing. He wishes he could see Min-su fall asleep. You see the desire in his eyes to witness Min-su’s day coming to an end. Without much contemplation, you offer him to come in to your apartment.

“Do you want to come in?” You ask him dryly.

“What?” His look directed back at you from the inside of your home.

“Do you want to come in?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Sure.” He wipes his palms on his pants.

Little by little, you’re letting Jungkook in to Min-su’s daily life. Although, it feels a bit strange, there’s also a feeling of normalcy, which you appreciate.

“Why is Jungkook hyung sitting on the living room?” Min-su whispers to you in his bath.

“That’s because—” You’re trying to quickly make something up at the moment, “Remember when I said me and him were really good friends a long time ago? We haven’t seen each other in forever, so he wanted to catch up. Also, shhh, but he’s also here because he wants to be your friend really bad.” You scrunch up your nose. Min-su lets out a million of giggles that pull at your heart.

Jungkook hears the giggles coming from the bathroom. He wants to join you and Min-su with every inch of his body, but he knows it’ll be strange for Min-su.

“Hey baby! Medicine.” You hand Min-su his pills.

“Open.”

Min-su opens his mouth.

“Pills.”

Min-su places the pill on his mouth.

“Now, drink and swallow.”

Min-su drinks the water from the straw and swallows a big gulp. He opens his mouth and shows you that he has swallowed his medicine.

You catch Jungkook transfixed at your routine. He’s amazed at your system with Min-su. It’s surreal to him how you and his son have been living your own life without him all these years. He hopes the day comes where he can also have a routine with Min-su too. You hope that too.

As you lay Min-su on his bed, getting ready to put him to sleep, you hear steps approaching the room. You turn around to find Jungkook leaning on the door frame. He gets his phone out and sends a text to someone.

8:50 PM Jungkook: Can I put him to sleep?

He looks up from his phone looking at you with hope in his eyes. Jungkook’s eyes, leaving you with none other than a choice than to let him. You lean into Min-su and whisper onto his ear, “Jungkook wants to be your friend so bad so he wants to put you asleep.” You both let out giggles and you kiss his forehead.

Jungkook sits in the same position you were in besides Min-su, “How’s my favorite kiddo doing?”

You lean on the door frame in the same position Jungkook was watching you. A small smile appearing on your face.

“Tell me a boxing story!” Min-su exclaims with his bunny smile. It tugs Jungkook’s heart to see how identical they look. Jungkook goes on to tell him about this boxing match he had a with a 60-year-old boxer for a charity. “I had to take it easy on him, you know! He was 60-years-old.” Jungkook adds voice effects when talking about the punches and hits of the fight. “He was always meant to win, but not by knockout,” Jungkook raises his index finger, “But then I tripped when he punched me, so it looked like he actually knocked me out!” Jungkook shakes his head. Jungkook is definitely more energetic than you when telling bedtime stories.

Min-su laughs and even a light chuckle comes out of you. A smile forms on Jungkook’s face when he hears it. “Alright dude. Time to sleep. Goodnight.” Jungkook wants to kiss his forehead just like you, but he only squeezes his hand and gives him a warm smile.

As soon as Jungkook is about to turn off the bedside lamp, Min-su asks Jungkook the question.

“Are you my dad?”

Jungkook’s heart makes a shift from 90 beats to 1000 beats per minute, “Uh-I-um,” he nervously chuckles. He looks back at you with his widened eyes shaking. You have the same expression on your face as Jungkook. You hadn’t thought of a way that you were going to tell Min-su that Jungkook was his dad. You thought you still had some more time left to plan it.

“Baby, Jungkook is um,-” You approach the other side of the bed, sitting next to Min-su. Before he lets you think of an excuse, Min-su says, “I heard you and Jungkook talk, mommy. When you told me it was the TV.” You hope everything he got from that conversation was that Jungkook is his dad.

“Is that all you heard, baby?” Your eyebrows furrow, rubbing your thumb on his hand.

“Yep. I couldn’t understand the rest. So, I just fell back asleep.” He giggles.

You feel relieved that Min-su knows Jungkook is his dad. This whole “wanting to be his friend” thing was getting old for you, Jungkook, and clearly Min-su, as he blurted out what he had been hiding this past month.

“Why didn’t you tell us anything?” Jungkook smiles.

“Momma likes to take care of me. Because of my weak heart. So, I figured it’d take her some time to tell me.” He smiles.

“Oh baby, you’re so smart aren’t you? And you don’t have a weak heart anymore! Doctor said it’s big and strong, now. It’ll only get stronger if you go to sleep now. And no more eavesdropping! Goodnight, baby. I love you.” You chuckle, hugging and giving him a kiss on his forehead, leaving Min-su and Jungkook alone in the room.

Jungkook leans forward and whispers to Min-su, “I am your dad.” Bunny smile on full display on both of their faces. Jungkook kisses his cheek and tells him, “Goodnight, kiddo.”

“Goodnight, daddy.” Min-su tells Jungkook and then turns on his side, giving Jungkook his back. Jungkook takes one last look at Min-su before closing the door. There is a yearning look on his face. He whispers. “I love you.” Tears set on his doe eyes before he quickly wipes them away.

“He just called me dad!” He loudly whispers, throwing his thumb back at Min-su’s room. A huge smile on his face. You smile too, but you turn away, not wanting him to see it. “Thank you.” Jungkook tells you as he sits beside you on the couch.

“For?” Eyes fixated on your phone.

“For this. For giving me an opportunity to be his father.” His eyes on you.

“I-um, I’m doing this for Min-su. He deserves to have a father.” You meet his eyes. A serious expression on your face.

“I know. But still. I’d like to thank you. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here right now.” He nods with his words. He gets up getting ready to leave. A question he’s been wanting to ask makes him pause at the door before leaving, “______, we’re okay, right? You and me? To co-parent Min-su? I mean I’m going to marry Jiah and there’s all of that.” He turns to look at you.

“You and me?” You chuckle, “You and me are never going to be okay. But…even if we aren’t, for him we are.” You slant your head, raising your eyebrows at him.

“I’ll see your around, ______.” He smiles.

You give him a tight-lipped smile. Again. No apology.

It hurts you to know that you’re never truly going to be okay with Jungkook. You know he didn’t know about having a son which is why you have agreed to let him into Min-su’s life. However, that doesn’t change anything about him leaving you. To some people it might seem like he simply chose between two things, on of them not being you, but he had a third choice. That third choice consisting of making his dreams come true with you. That third choice is what is keeping you not wanting to forgive nor forget. He had a choice and he didn’t choose the one with you in it.

The only thing you can now do is pretend he never abandoned you, when Min-su is around.

But you and Jungkook? Things will never be the same.

9:30 PM Namjoon: Go straight to the office. There’s been some photos and information leaked to the press.

9:34 PM Jungkook: About

9:34: You, Min-su, and ______ .

☆ yayyyyyy!!! you just finished chapter 3!! i hope you guys loved it. chapter 4 is ready and will be uploaded next Tuesday... YAYAYYAY... now lemme tell you... ch4 has some amazing & shocking moments 😳 remember leave me your thoughts, theories, questions, anything here ✉ !!! thanks y'all! ♥️

☆taglist: @tazzi-baby @shaybeans @teresaisla @softiegukk @innerharmonybookworm @fan-ati--c @bbkissme99 @kookstj @xmochiloverx @kooliv @itsbundamoment @rjsmochii @shishowoo @yoon2jk @spicyfrogbrain @v3lvet-jnk @xxxavee16 @watermelonjuice15 @achaemenidempire @amylouisecullen @miss-ficrecs @ellesalazar @billboard-singer @ssaltytears @hanamgi @heyjiminnie @iamjoonieswife @bxbyyyjocelyn @sunb1999 @mdibby

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allthebrazilianpolitics · 6 months

Text

Conversion therapy is still thriving in Brazil

The suicide of a lesbian influencer — who was a supporter of former right-wing president Jair Bolsonaro — has put the spotlight on so-called ‘cures for homosexuality’ that persist, even though they have been banned for more than two decades

For a third of his life — from the age of 14 to 27 — Héder Bello, now 37, lived in purgatory.

He was engaged in a fierce fight against himself, in an attempt to stop being homosexual. He tried with all his might to eradicate the attraction he felt for other boys, something that — for himself, his family and his community — made him the personification of sin, an abominable being. He suffered every imaginable form of the so-called “gay cure,” including exorcisms, fasting, self-flagellation, prayer sessions, religious retreats, Bible readings and so-called “therapy” sessions with Christian psychologists and Evangelical pastors.

During those infernal years, the sole purpose of his life — what guided his existence — was to stop being gay. He was studying Psychology at the Fluminense Federal University, in the state of Rio de Janeiro, when a Christian psychologist offered him the definitive path forward: electroshock treatment. This scared Bello so much that it marked a turning point in his life. Today, the survivor of brutal conversion therapy is now dedicated to researching and combating practices that have no scientific basis — a phenomenon that persists in his native Brazil.

Four Brazilian therapists have lost their license to practice in the last five years for offering supposed “gay cures,” according to the newspaper O Globo. These “therapies” have been prohibited by the Brazilian Council of Psychologists since 1999. Even further back, in 1990, the WHO eliminated homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses.

When the WHO made that historic decision, Bello was still a child growing up in an Evangelical Christian family in the rural area of Nova Friburgo, in the state of Rio de Janeiro. “I lived in an environment with many restrictions. Everything revolved around family, church and school,” Bello explains, in a video interview with EL PAÍS from the city of Rio, where he now lives. In his childhood universe, television, soap operas and everything outside the kingdom of God was considered diabolical. He grew up as a child dedicated to gospel music, without knowing who the TV star Xuxa was — the idol of Brazilian children of his generation, known as the “Queen of the Little Ones” — without sexual education, without knowing anyone from the LGBTQ+ community… and without even hearing the word “homosexual.”

As an adolescent, he left this bubble, when he entered public school. There, they called him “faggot” for the first time. He knew it was an insult, even though he didn’t understand it.

The recent suicide of a lesbian influencer and supporter of far-right former president Jair Bolsonaro has put the spotlight on conversion therapy. Weeks before her death, Karol Eller, 36, publicly announced that she was renouncing homosexuality after a religious retreat. “Family, triple your prayers for me. I renounced homosexual practice, vices and the desires of my flesh to live in Christ,” she proclaimed, in a message to her 700,000 followers. The entire Bolsonaro clan and the far right sent their condolences to the family. One of her best friends was the legislator who received the most votes in the last Brazilian elections: the ultra-conservative Nikolas Ferreira. The 27-year-old is so homophobic that he was fined for insulting the trans and left-wing deputy Duda Salabert in the Chamber of Deputies.

#brazil #brazilian politics #politics #psychology #LGBT #mod nise da silveira #image description in alt #karol eller

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crowborn666-writes · 1 year

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hellooo could u possibly write an arven and f!younger sibling!reader where the reader is the one who becomes a paldea champion and when the four friends go to area zero, she finds out about their dad first, has a small breakdown, and then has to witness arven’s reaction to the news like she did and it’s just an angsty mess but eventual sibling fluff at the end when they leave area zero pls and thank u

Home

(So I’m assuming you played Violet! I played Scarlet, so Ill try to keep their differences unmentioned for simplicity’s sake(like the academy name, I believe it’s different depending on which game you play?))

Arven x Fem! Sibling! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Comfort, Siblings

Summary: Your journey through Paldea with your older brother brings not only friends and new experiences, but a devastating truth.

(Listen to Home and Home II, both by Dotan, while writing this)

~~~~~~

It was the first day of a new school year, and you were finally able to join the Academy. You were excited, your Fidough running on your heels as you both ascended the Academy steps. You’d met Nemona on your way to the Academy, and you both shared several battles on the way there, nearly making you late.

Unlike Arven, you loved battling, almost as much as Nemona. Battles were thrilling to watch if you were involved.

Your first few weeks weren’t too eventful, simply getting used to your teachers and other staff, meeting new trainers, and sharing classes with your new friends.

Then the Treasure Hunt began, and while the Gyms sounded exciting, you naturally followed the path Arven took.

You had witnessed the heartbroken, lost look on Arven’s face when he came home with Mabostiff hurt nearly beyond repair. So when he told you he’d found a way to possibly help, you jumped at the chance to heal your brothers beloved pokemon.

With your help, Mabostiff was back to perfect health due to the Herba Mysticas, and your now Dachbun couldn’t be any more ecstatic to have her childhood friend back.

You still found time to do the gyms and fight your way through Team Star bases while helping Arven, and it wasn’t long before your calls with your father, Professor Turo, led you, your brother, and your two new friends to Area Zero.

Area Zero was… beautifully terrifying. Pokémon lived in what you would call a paradise, yet the strange beasts called Paradox Pokémon began to grow in numbers as you traveled downwards.

You got all the way to the bottom, stories having been shared along the way, up until a point where your friends had to fight off a hoard of Paradox pokemon to give you a chance to rush on ahead.

Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you’d learned next.

You were ecstatic to see your father again as you entered the room, immediately running up to hug him before he could speak. But something was off, he wasn’t warm or soft like a person should be.

An apologetic smile met your confused look, “Turo” setting a hand on your shoulder.

“There’s something you need to know, (Y/n).”

You were close to sobbing by the end of the explanation of what happened to your father, your face buried into the lab coat to hide your tears. A cold hand settled atop the crown of your head, both comforting and unsettling as it simply sat there.

Eventually, Robot Turo managed to get you to let go, guiding you to an elevator as he explained what needed to be done.

The time machine your father built needed to be shut off, and Robot Turo would be forced to fight back against you due to the defensive mechanism built within.

The book Arven held onto now used to activate the machine, the battle against Robot Turo was grueling. Difficult against a team full of Paradox Mons.

But you won, and Robot Turo began to crystallize and glitch, one side wanting to help you, the other creepily going along with the programming.

It wasn’t long before your brother and friends joined you. All it took was one look at your crying face to tell Arven his hunches were correct.

After a battle between ‘Raidons, where yours came out victorious, the time machine whirred faster.

“Papa!” You cried out, running a few steps past ‘Raidon, tears in your eyes. Even if this Turo was a robot, you couldn’t help but still see your father, even when the robot’s eyes and body were slightly crystalized.

You felt Arven step up next to you, a frown on his face. Robot Turo lifted his hand in a wave goodbye, his body lifting into the time machine, most likely never to be seen by you again.

The night back at the Academy dorms was quiet, even when Nemona and Penny had tried to cheer you guys up on the road back.

You watched as Mabostiff and Dachbun curled up together in Arven’s dorm room, seated at the kitchen counter.

You turned at the clink of a bowl, turning to see your favorite food being pushed towards you.

“Thanks, Arven.” You murmured, offering a smile as you began to eat.

“‘Course.” He sits next to you, glancing over to Mabostiff and Dachbun. “…Would you like to sleep in my dorm tonight? I’ve got some extra bedding.”

You remember when you and Arven would sleep on the floor together when you were younger, usually on nights where one of you couldn’t sleep.

“That sounds nice.”

#pokemon #pokemon oneshots #arven pokemon #pkmn arven #trainer arven #arven x reader #arven #pokemon scarlet #pokemon violet #pokemon sv #pokemon x reader #pokemon scarlet x reader #pokemon violet x reader #pokemon scarlet and violet

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rhondafromhr · 4 months

Text

Finished the second chapter of my ‘nerds corruption au’ story!

I have way too much free time right now and I’m also having way too much fun writing this so here’s another chapter, this idea has me in an absolute chokehold.

Link to Chapter 1: https://www.tumblr.com/rhondafromhr/738099850581835776/i-ended-up-writing-it-after-all-ill-probably

“We’re Gonna Become the Bullies”

Chapter 2: They’re Walking a Very Fine Line

Paul’s been Richie’s guardian for going on four years now and in that time, Richie’s never given him much of a reason to worry. He’s never been sent to the principal’s office or the police station, he keeps his grades up, he chose the math club over the smoke club and the most rebellious thing he ever does is stay up late on a school night watching anime. More importantly, he tells Paul everything - when he gets bullied at school, when he’s struggling with a class, when he has a fight with Ruth (Oh God, Paul remembers, he promised they’ll go see The Barbecue Monologues to show her their support. Ugh. He does not like musicals). If he’s going to be out late, he always texts Paul to let him know where he is, what he’s doing and about when he thinks he‘ll be home.

At least he did until Friday night. He said he was going to Pete’s after school for a D&D session and he should be home around eleven. But then eleven o’clock rolled around and Richie didn’t appear, nor did a heads up that he was going to be late. Paul ignored the slight gnawing anxiety. There’s no reason to worry, he told himself, they probably just got really caught up in their game. From the few times Richie’s hosted D&D night at their place, he knows how intense they get with it.

But then it was a quarter past eleven and still no sign of him. He texted: hey, haven’t heard from you, everything okay? No answer. Ten more minutes passed and eventually he caved and called. Nothing. He tried two more times and still nothing. By eleven forty-five he was desperate enough to call Ted and ask if he’d heard anything from Peter. He hadn’t and he was none too pleased with Paul for interrupting his favorite pastime (“screwin’ around with another man’s wife”). Apparently, Ted had him on speaker, because Charlotte heard and she was much nicer about it. She told Paul they’d notify him if they heard anything and asked him to please let them know once Richie got home safe. Just when he was on the verge of a panic attack, he heard the lock clicking on the front door as Richie let himself in. By now it was almost two in the morning. Paul exhaled and the tension left his body. He’d never felt this relieved in his life. Obviously, Richie had some explaining to do, but at least he was here. At least Paul finally knew he was safe.

“Hi, Richie. Did something happen? Usually you at least shoot me a text if you’re going to be out late.” Something was definitely off. Richie’s clothes were disheveled and the way he rubbed his arm was subtly different from the way he usually does it - his hand rested on his shoulder rather than his forearm and he winced as if there was some physical pain he was trying to relieve. Did he get hurt? Why didn’t he call Paul for help if he got hurt?

“Oh, uh, sorry, Paul. We just got super into the campaign and I guess the time got away from us. Won’t happen again. I’m pretty tired now, I think I’m going to head to bed. Goodnight!” He rushed to his room before Paul could ask any follow-up questions.

“Goodnight, Richie,” Paul said with a sigh. He wasn’t convinced, but maybe Richie just needed time to open up about whatever actually happened. He always did eventually.

That night still weighs on Paul’s mind as he drives Richie to school Monday morning. Richie seems distracted, too. Without his usual enthusiastic rambling about the merits of subs versus dubs or why there should be a copy of the full Attack on Titan box set in the library of congress, the car feels eerily quiet. Paul turns on the radio to try and fill the silence, but the cheery, up-tempo song that comes on somehow creates an even weirder atmosphere. They finally pull up in front of the school and say their goodbyes.

Just as he’s about to take off, Paul notices a tall boy in a letterman jacket waving to Richie. Richie waves back and approaches him. Wait, isn’t that Max Jägerman? The kid that’s been bullying Richie and his friends for years? He watches as they walk towards the school entrance together. Why is Max being so friendly to him out of the blue? Is this the setup for some horrible, mean-spirited prank? Paul’s heart sinks, but there’s nothing he can do. He’ll just have to trust Richie’s judgment and be there for him if anything happens. He’s definitely going to Beanie’s on his lunch break today. He desperately needs a coffee and Emma will probably be happy to let him vent and maybe even provide some surprisingly thoughtful advice. Knowing her, she’ll welcome any distraction from her usual degrading job duties of making coffee, serving “cold, shitty pastries” and singing for tips.

“Hey, Richie! How was your weekend?” Max greets him enthusiastically. Huh, he’s been upgraded from Shitlips. Not only that, they’re on a first-name basis now. So they’re actually doing this. That night at the Waylon place wasn’t some weird fever dream.

“Uh, it was okay, I guess? My Uncle Paul didn’t seem too happy with me for staying out so late on Friday, but he didn’t, like, ground me or anything. Other than that I didn’t do much, just rewatched Attack on Titan again.” Friday was the weirdest, most stressful night of his life and he had no idea what to expect on Monday, so the comfort and familiarity was much needed.

“Oh, cool. My dad was pretty upset when I told him what happened, too.”

“That makes sense, you did almost die.”

“Yeah, he’s really pissed I didn’t. Wanted to collect the life insurance payout or whatever. You know how dads are,” Max says with a shrug. Richie actually doesn’t know how dads are, but he’s pretty sure that’s not normal.

“Oh, uh, sorry. That sucks.” What else can he say to something like that?

“Anyway, I gave Kyle and Jason the rundown over the weekend and told them to spread the word. Everyone should know by now that you and the rest of the group are not to be messed with and from now on they’ll be answering to all of us. And if anybody tries it you just let me know, it’s a swirly and a flick-it ticket for them. We’ll do it together. I have to teach you the proper form, anyway.”

Oh, right. That part of the deal. It’s not just being cool with Max Jägerman, it’s being “on his level” as he phrased it. Which means joining in on the bullying unless they can use whatever influence they now have to talk Max out of it. Grace did say she thought it was possible back at the Waylon place. Richie agreed at the time. Does he still believe that? Did he ever, or was he just trying to justify their decision? If they can even pull it off, it’s going to be a lot more complicated than just going “Hey, let’s not bully anyone!” and Max being like “Okay, sounds good!”

“Will do, Max, but uh, what if it’s somebody who doesn’t have nuts?” Richie asks. He may or may not be speaking from experience. Truthfully, flick-it tickets have never worked on him, but convincingly faking like they’re the most painful thing in the world has probably saved him from Max inflicting actual pain countless times. Ruth’s acting tips have been really helpful for that.

“Oh, good point! Two swirlies, then. Love your inclusive way of thinking!”

The bell rings, providing Richie with a convenient exit from this conversation.

“Oh, gotta get to honors English, see ya later!”

“Bye, Max.” He hurries to Physics, wondering how the hell Max is in honors English.

When he joins their usual group (plus Grace and Steph) at the lunch table, it seems like everyone else is reeling from the changed dynamic, too. At least Ruth is having a good time with it.

“She actually said hi to me!” Ruth says, her eyes lighting up “Then she told me my headgear is fire today! It was so hot, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife!” There’s only one person at school who still says things are fire unironically. Brenda must have gotten the memo.

“Isn’t she dating Kyle?” Pete points out “I know Max won’t let them, but clearly they’d just go behind his back, right?”

“Yeah,” Richie chimes in “If anything, sneaking around would make it hotter. ‘Forbidden fruit’ and all that.”

“Duh! Everyone knows that, watch some porn! But also, watch some romcoms - I’m the nerdy underdog, obviously she chooses me in the end.”

Before Grace can admonish Ruth for being so lewd or Stephanie can rant about the problematic tropes and implications of the romcom comment (the collective word count of her Twitter threads on the subject rivals War and Peace), Pete raises the question that’s been on all of their minds:

“Can we really be considered underdogs anymore?”

“I don’t know. The vibe is definitely different from before,” replies Richie “God, this morning was so weird. Max just walked up to me and started the most normal ass ‘how was your weekend?’ conversation ever. I mentioned anime and he didn’t even make fun of me, it was fucking surreal!”

“It’s definitely weird, but I have to admit it’s been kind of nice to be able to walk down the hallway without constantly watching my back,” Pete says “Brad Callahan called me Micro-Pete earlier. I told him to back off and he actually did!”

“He called you what?” Startled, they all look up to find Max looming over them at the end of their table. When did he get here? “I fuckin’ told him not to bother you guys, but it looks like my instructions were unclear. C’mon, Pete, let’s go find him. We’ll make sure there are no further misunderstandings.”

“What, like, beat him up? I don’t know, Max, he’s twice my size. And he did back off, maybe we let him off with a warning this time?” Pete protests weakly.

“It’s okay, dude, I’ll be right there with you! Nobody who knows what’s good for them is going to jump in to defend him, either, so it’ll be two against one. And I know pummeling people seems intimidating if you’ve never done it before, but I’ll show you the ropes. I bet you're stronger than you think you are!” Ignoring the subject matter, Pete has to admit Max gives a pretty solid pep talk. Now that they’re sort of friends, maybe Max will send some of that energy his way before the AP Physics exam.

“Okay,” Pete says, still uncertain, but also acutely aware that he’s not getting out of this one.

“Can I come with?” Stephanie asks “I’ve actually always wanted to slap Brad across his stupid, smug face, but this is the final straw. Nobody’s going to disrespect you like that on my watch.” Pete turns beet-red.

“Oh, awesome, three against one!” Max says “Let’s roll out!” Stephanie grabs Pete’s hand and the three take their leave. Max and Steph walk with a menacing, determined stride like predators stalking their prey. Pete trails behind them, a little more hesitant, but still follows.

“Slapping Brad in the face has always been one of my fantasies, too! Probably not in the same way, though,” Ruth says “I should’ve joined them! Life is but a series of missed opportunities.”

“Ruth,” Grace says “have you ever considered taking a vow of chastity? Resisting the temptation you’re feeling until you’re safely married could save your immortal soul.”

“No, of course not! Why would I do that now of all times? I’m not a repulsive loser anymore, somebody might finally touch me!” Ruth sighs dreamily. “I’m telling you guys, me and Brenda, there’s something there.”

“If you’re so worried about our immortal souls, why didn’t you try to stop them just now? I don’t spend my weekends at bible study, but I’m pretty sure wrath is a sin,” says Richie.

“Well, Brad has it coming. He’s always been a no good sinner. It’s not our wrath, it’s God’s wrath. They’re just carrying out His will.”

Richie’s surprised to find himself entertaining Grace’s point. She’s right about Brad, at least. He has always been kind of an asshole. He was picking on Pete earlier, too, and it certainly wasn’t the first time. Then there’s the whole “long-con” aspect of it all - once again, things aren’t going to change overnight. They all need to play along if they don’t want to lose their new status ruling Hatchetfield High by Max’s side. Maybe if the next target is less deserving than Brad, he can test the waters and try to get Max to lay off. For now, Richie will just head to his next class and try to make it through the rest of the school day without being roped into roughing somebody up.

#nerdy prudes must die #npmd #npmd corruption au #max jagerman #richie lipschitz #grace chasity #peter spankoffski #ruth fleming #stephanie lauter #hatchetfield #paul matthews #Paul is Richie’s uncle #Max’s shitty dad is briefly mentioned #cw child abuse mention #lautski

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wambsgansshoelaces · 3 months

Note

hii! i heart ur headcanons sm, so i was gonna ask if u could right some sibling headcanons (especially with roman) of growing up and getting a chronic illness so we end up unable to work like they do so logan treats us like were useless a lot of the time. sorry if that's too angsty or u don't want to, but if you do thanks you! i have a chronic illness and it would be cool to have comfort characters so comforting and stuff but thanks again! 🫶🏻 have a good day!

(can i become raccoon anon?) - 🦝

anon, I literally love you so much!! and of course you can be THE raccoon lol 🦝

I just want to let you know that if you ever, EVER need support, my ask box and pms are open to you always. I’m here for you, I will be your best friend, whatever it is you need 🫶🏽

thank you so much for requesting, and hopefully I can make this a series for you so that you have representation - if that’s something you want, just let me know xx I will literally write whatever you want me to <3 enjoy 🩷

chronic illness (sib!roys)

ᝰ you’re a difficult to thing to talk about for the roys

ᝰ shiv is the only one who’s ever really defended you to your father

ᝰ kendall and roman still supported you, but were just too afraid of logan to do anything

ᝰ early childhood, connor made sure you took all your meds exactly when you were supppsed to, every single day

ᝰ roman would make up games that you could play that didn’t require you to run or exert yourself to the point where you got hurt

ᝰ you and shiv would read the harry potter picture books together

ᝰ kendall, in secret, would do all of your homework if you weren’t feeling well

ᝰ which was a lot

ᝰ shiv would always convince your dad to let you sleep in or stay home from school certain days

ᝰ roman would physically fight kids who bullied you or were rude at school/on the playground

ᝰ in high school, kendall wrote a five page letter to the principal and got one repeat bully of yours expelled

ᝰ shiv campaigned hard to make school more accessible for you

ᝰ roman still fought people that looked at you funny

ᝰ he tells you one night after getting a bloody lip that he’ll never stop fighting for you

ᝰ it was tradition that if you were bed bound or in the hospital, shiv, roman, and kendall would bring a deck of cards to you so you could all play

ᝰ but as you got older, you all drifted apart

ᝰ first ken moving away for college, the other two following slowly after

ᝰ they kept in contact, sure, but now you’re in this massive house, all by yourself with no one to talk to

ᝰ you did college online

ᝰ and even then, you don’t ever think you’ll really be able to work

ᝰ you avoid your father as much as physically possible

ᝰ he’s always thought you weren’t worth anything

ᝰ you’ve learned not to let it get to you

ᝰ after kendall graduates and comes back to new york to work for waystar, he visits more

ᝰ connor’s been long gone, so now it’s him staying on top of your meds

ᝰ even though you can do it yourself, you let him

ᝰ you know he feels bad for you

ᝰ some dystopian pity

ᝰ you didn’t want to talk about it with him, ever, so you just let him do it

ᝰ things only change after roman graduates

ᝰ even though he’s arguably the most afraid of your father, he came back to new york and made you move in with him

ᝰ “you don’t even take care of yourself, ro,” you tell him one day

ᝰ “so? you’re more important to me. i’m not going to let you fucking be in danger because dad’s a jackass.”

ᝰ he makes sure his fridge and pantry are stocked with solely food you can eat

ᝰ your dad never asks after you

ᝰ but oh well

ᝰ you only ever talk to roman anymore

ᝰ it changes after a particularly bad scare with your health

ᝰ and it’s just like ten years ago, the four of you cramped together on one hospital bed, playing cards

ᝰ shiv and ken never lose touch with you again

ᝰ you walk ken down the aisle at his wedding

ᝰ and at every wedding you attend for your siblings, you’re their person of honor, standing, sitting, whatever you can, right behind them

#succession #succession hbo #wambsgansshoelaces #anon ask #requests open #chronic illness!reader #sibling!roys #reader has chronic illness #the roy siblings

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regulus-books · 6 months

Text

part one | part two

wc: 1k+

warnings: brief mention of regulus wanting to kill himself in the first paragraph, fighting, tell me if i missed something

Regulus wants to bash his face on the table until he reaches death. In front of him sits four unfinished assignments in potions. Regulus thinks, maybe, if he gets up and walks around a little, he'll feel more motivated to work. So, he packs up all his quills and homework and walks towards the door.

But at this moment, he doesn't move. He made it this far, but his legs won't move anymore. His eyes caught on someone, someone with curly brown hair, tanned skin, glasses, and the most beautiful smile he has ever seen in his life. James. James wouldn't normally make his breath hitch, no, normally Regulus would pretend not to notice James. Pretend that they weren't dating for almost a year, he'd pretend that it didn't hurt as much as it did when he inevitably chose her. Her. The girl sitting next to him as of now. Her red hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, her skin glowing. Who couldn't glow sitting next to the sun?

He's staring. James is looking at Regulus. Regulus quickly turns away, back to his table. Why was he even leaving in the first place? He doesn't want to know anymore, he wants to crawl up in Sirius' room and cry. He wants Remus to sit on the common room couch, with Regulus' feet in his lap, and he wants him to read. He wants Lily to go back to hating James, he wants her back with Mary. He wishes he wasn't here. He wishes he wasn't here especially when he feels someone come up behind him and pull one of his curls. He wants to be gone when that beautiful someone sits next to him, brushing through Regulus hair with their fingers. He almost forgets all of that, he almost curls into his touch, almost crawls into his lap and hugs him.

Then Regulus snaps out of it, and swats his hand away. "What do you want, Potter?" Regulus scowls at the table as if it did something to him.

"You cut your hair." James smiles, watching every emotion pass Regulus' face. Sadness, anger, emptiness.

"Astute observation, now can I get back to my homework." Regulus motions to his bag.

"I missed you being mean to me." Regulus nearly breaks down there.

"Leave, Potter. Your girlfriend is over there."

"Potter?" James' eyes flash with something Regulus cannot understand.

"That is your last name, is it not? Or did you take hers?" James' eyebrows knit tightly together, and he places a hand on Regulus' shoulder.

"We aren't together, Reg. How could we be, when you are right here?" Regulus almost laughs.

"Well, I'm not leaving. You guys can go off somewhere else to snog." Regulus stands up, but James follows closely behind. He grabs Regulus' forearm and tugs him closer.

"Regulus, I love you. I have always loved you, I never wanted Lily."

"That is such bullshit! You are with her right now!"

"Yeah because I can't be with you! It's clear you don't want me." James drops his hands away from Regulus, one of them runs through his hair, the other pushes up his golden glasses.

"I don't want you? You are the only person who I've ever been with James! I haven't been with anyone else in the past 6 months because of you! You've ruined dating for me, because now I just feel like a filthy bedwarmer. So there. Blame it all on me, but it was not my fault we broke up. Go off and cry to Lily." Regulus leaves the library in tears as he finds his way off to his brothers room. He knocks loudly on the door the moment he gets there, which is quickly answered by his elder brother, who immediately ushers him inside.

"What did he say, mon petit?" Sirius strokes Regulus' hair out of his face.

"He said it was clear that I don't want to be with him." Regulus rubs his eyes until they burn.

"Well, that's not true is it, darling?"

"Non." Regulus sees Remus hiding behind his curtain, "Come out, Wolfy." Remus snickers, he knows Regulus means no ill intent from the nickname. He crawls out of his sheets and sits next to Sirius.

"What's wrong, Reg?"

"I miss him, guys. I don't want to, but I do. I miss him even when he came back so many hours late, I miss him crawling into bed with me and kissing my cheek. I miss leaving him notes when I left. I miss him." Regulus can't stop the tears falling down his face. Sirius frown and continues to stroke his hair.

"Talk to him, babe. He can't know how you feel unless you talk to him. He loves you, he doesn't know how to tell you."

"That's just it Sirius, he told me he misses me, and that he loves me." James' words seem to echo through Regulus' mind.

"How about I go grab him, and you two can talk. How does that sound?" Regulus reluctantly nods. "Go up to his dorm, love. We'll send him up."

When Regulus enters the dorm, its like deja vu, but much messier. Regulus looks around the room, seeing everything that was there before. Except one thing. Regulus' beanie rests on James' pillow, or rather the one that belonged to Regulus all of those months ago.

James walks into his dorm no more than 5 minutes later, his glasses falling down the bridge of his nose, and his face flushed red. "Hi, Reg." He says, out of breath, and Regulus nearly laughs.

"Hi, James. Did you run here?"

"I'm so sorry, Reg, I'm sorry." James says, walking forward and taking Regulus' hand in his.

"I wanna know why you always were so late home, James." Regulus leads James to the table, tightening his grip around James' hand.

"To be completely honest with you, Regulus, I don't remember," James shakes his head, "All I know is I regretted it, and still do. I regret not spending those hours with you. Playing chess, reading a book. Well, you reading a book, me watching you. I regret not talking to you, and I love you. And I loved you. Please, Reg, give me another chance." James grabs Regulus' other hand as well, swiping his thumb back and forth.

"Don't beg, James. I wish you could've told me sooner, I would've fell back in your arms." Regulus smiles softly at James.

"I'm sorry, Regulus. I'm sorry for fighting with you in the library too, I just didn't know what to say. You aren't just a bedwarmer to me, or anyone, Reg. You are so much more than that. You are beautiful and sarcastic. You are so smart and talented. I haven't been able to function without you, Reg."

"Shush, James, I wanna forget about it. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes."

"Good," Regulus leans across the small table and presses his lips to James' soft ones, letting go of his hand and putting it in his hair. "I love you too."

So, James never is late again, in fact, he makes sure he's always at least 5 minutes early.

@ashywashy1240

masterlist / request

#regulus books #jegulus #james x regulus #james potter #regulus black #marauders #marauders era #regulus and james #gay #lgbtq+#gay wizards

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amantes-lunae · 5 months

Text

★ Kate's trans wolfstar faves ★

this list is mainly trans sirius and muggle aus! there will definitely be a part 2 to this list with more trans remus + mwpp fics because i hold them DEAR TO MY HEART 🩷🤍💙

you wouldn't like me - E, 40k

It’s 2005 and Sirius is trying to figure out his gender, their brother, and his new crush.

No More Secrets - G, 5k

Sirius Black didn't know if he would be accepted for who he was. Little did he know that he wasn't the only one with a secret.

Sirius Black and the Great Dress Code Revolution of 1977 - E, 61k

In a misguided effort to fight sexism, Sirius discovers he’s really, really into wearing the girls uniform. What follows is a disastrously oblivious Remus trying to protect his friends, Sirius’ introduction into a world more magical than his own (being trans!), and Marlene McKinnon growing increasingly annoyed with authority. A character study of Sirius’ fucked up gender, his relationship with his family, his body, Remus, James, and Marlene- disguised as a getting together fic.

Gathering Home - E, 74k (unfinished)

Remus flipped the light on and sucked in a breath as he looked over his classroom, as neat and tidy as he had left it the day before. The room exuded warmth, colourful and bright, playmats on the floor and books stacked up along the walls, little boxes of crayons on all of the tables. By the end of the day, ten kindergarteners would arrive to what was functionally their second home, to once again tear it to smithereens. Eleven, Remus corrected himself—four months into the school year, a new student was joining their class. — Remus shouldn’t be attracted to Sirius Hill, not when Remus is responsible for teaching his five-year-old little brother to read and count, and especially not with that mysterious baby strapped to Sirius’s chest. He shouldn’t. He isn’t. He is not.

my jokes are my armour, my kindness is my sword - E, 28k

“My mum died last year,” Sirius says at last, perhaps more bluntly than he intended – perhaps not given the defiant set of his chin. “And we don’t have a gravestone yet, till the ground settles or whatever, so I want something I can put there to represent her and how toxic she was.” Remus blinks. Whatever he had expected Sirius to say, it hadn’t been that. He had inferred that he and Regulus had a complicated relationship with their blood family, but this was a wholly unexpected turn. Unfortunately, instead of the empathic response he knows is in there somewhere, what comes out is: “Yes, that sounds like a perfectly healthy response to grief.”

It's a New Dawn - M, 106k

What took place in the Lycanthropy ward was thankless, rotten work. Sickening for those who didn’t care for the monsters; heart wrenching for those few who did. Remus had an inkling of which category Lily belonged to, and he didn’t think it was fair that she had to go through this so early in her studies. “Why would you choose this ward, Lily?” he asked again, gently. Remus Lupin (19 years old, formerly home schooled, currently employed in a bookshop, forever afflicted with lycanthropy and a cheeky mother) leads a peaceful - if a bit lonely - life. Enter up-and-coming Healer in training Lily Evans, stubborn and determined to make a friend out of the sarcastic little shit that is her favourite patient. Secrets are disclosed, closets are exited, family is found. Lives are changed for the better.

A Fool and His Money - M, 36k

Remus Lupin has an easy life. He manages his University studies and his chronic illness, and lives comfortably with his flatmate Regulus Black. Then one day he meets Regulus’ older brother and his entire life gets turned upside down when he’s offered an opportunity to make his life just a little bit easier. It was supposed to be just a business transaction between friends. Feelings were never supposed to get involved.

Discards - M, 76k

When assistant librarian Sirius Black develops a crush on a college student at the Seattle Public Library, all he wants to know is whether he's cool about dating trans guys. But Remus's life is more complicated than Sirius ever could have guessed.

Without Translation - G, 5k

When Remus moves into the new University housing, he isn't sure what to expect, but the Deaf Artist, Sirius Black is not it. Especially as Remus only has the function of one hand, and sign language is beyond him. But in the end, when it comes to love and communication, the pair find their own way to say I love you.

Whatever Words I Say - G, 23k

When Remus Lupin is hired to control the antics of famous lead singer of the Marauders, Sirius Black, he knows he has his work cut out for him. Sirius is contrary and has absolutely no chill, and loves pissing off the press. Remus feels up to the challenge, but he certainly does not expect to fall head over heels in love from the moment he meets the charismatic singer.

Defectors - M, 53k

I'm supposed to be dead. I was ready for it. More than ready. He struggles to sort quickly through his muddled thoughts. If he's not allowed to die, he needs to find sanctuary. Somewhere where they won't find him. Someone who can destroy it. AU where Regulus survives the horcrux cave and Sirius gets pushed to the edge.

Ghost Notes - M, 12k

AU where Remus didn’t attend Hogwarts. Sirius is smitten with the cute boy he meets at a punk show, and is determined to win him over.

Quick Draw - M, 10k

Sirius has never been a fan of thinking things through, but Remus is always there to keep him grounded. A quick peek at the couple from their first trip on the Hogwarts Express through the AU conclusion in 1981.

#wolfstar #remus lupin #marauders #sirius black #transgender #trans sirius black #trans marauders #trans remus lupin #rec list #kate's wolfstar reclist tag #trans #jkr is a greasy piece of shit

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insomniac4000 · 7 days

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If you Loved Me- A ChrisMD Fic

From my Wattpad

Sometimes if you love someone you have to let them go, you never understood that phrase until it came a point in your relationship with Chris that it was obvious it was no longer going to work. His channel was keeping him busier and busier and flights to the mainland were happening more frequently, it was only a matter of time until the question came up but you knew you couldn't go with him.

"But I've found a great flat, it's on the ground floor it has two bedrooms your mum can stay," Chris pleaded as he looked into your eyes, they were brimming with tears, this wasn't a journey you could go on. Your mother had been ill for as long as you could remember and she was only getting worse, degenerative diseases did that but she could live for another twenty years with round the clock care or she could die tomorrow, you couldn't leave her and couldn't ask her to leave her home. All the specialist equipment was set up for her here, she had a sister who would help, she had the carers she knew and recognised.

"You say it like it's easy. She can't get on a flight you know that." Your mum's muscle disease had now rendered her bed bound, she had been for six months now. There was no way to get her to the main island even she wanted to.

"We can find a way, boat? I'll pay for a private ambulance and then..." You cut him off, with your eyes flooded with tears you hugged Chris tightly before painstakingly pulling away, your heart ached, more than it had ever done before, more than when your dad left when you were ten. He couldn't hack it anymore, it had only been you and your mum since and it had to stay that way she needed you.

"Chris. This is your dream, not mine. I need to stay here I'm sorry," you whispered. Chris gasped sharply knowing what you were doing but wanted to fight it every step of the way. You had been together since you were fifteen, you were twenty four now these kind of romances were so few and far between.

"My dream is being with you."

"Don't. You've let me hold you back for this long, you need to go and I need to stay here. I love you but we're at a crossroads now and we've got different paths." You had always felt guilty every time Chris ended a shoot early or came back from the mainland early because there was an emergency with your mum. You couldn't do that to him anymore.

"Please don't do this," Chris whispered his eyed now spilling with tears, he grabbed your arms tightly but not to hurt you as he went to kiss you. You turned your head away and shook it, knowing if you kissed him you wouldn't be able to let him go and you had to. Instead you placed a kiss on his cheek and told him you loved him and you were proud of him for following his dreams. You turn turned on his heel and left his house, leaving a very heartbroken man standing in the doorway to his room.

Of course Chris did go, him being able to collaborate more only made his channel grew. In fact he ended up moving in with a couple of other content creators George Clarke and Arthur Hill with yours and Chris's old school friend Arthur Frederick not far away. The four collaborated a lot, along with some other people and whenever you got time you watched some of their videos. You tried to make a point not to watch him a lot, you still loved him and as much as this is what he needed to do it was hard to hear jokes about all the dates he went on.

The truth was Chris went on so many dates because he was desperately trying to find someone but no one matched up to you, every single woman was measured to you and none of them made the cut, he told himself he just had to keep looking.

He was currently making a video with Arthur, George, Harry and Theo when Arthur who was on his phone like usual gasped.

"Chris, Chris I think you need to come and see this," Arthur bellowed as loud as he could in his usually soft voice.

"Arthur I don't care about chess," Chris moaned as he dropped the football by his feet.

"Chris please." Arthur looked so serious that Chris couldn't help but run over, he looked at the screen and his face dropped when he saw a message from Arthur's mum saying that your mum had passed away. Chris got his phone out of his pocket and saw a similar message from his mum, with the additional info that the funeral would be Friday.

"What do I do?" Chris asked.

"What's happened?" Harry enquired, walking over to the Jersey pair.

"Y/N's mum's died." Arthur announced sadly, he then turned his attention back to the small man who was running his hands through his hair. "I think you need to go."

"You're right." Chris nodded, that smart little nerd was always right. Harry then placed an arm round his friend, along with Arthur he was the other person who knew how much that girl meant to him through his time visiting Chris and doing videos in Jersey.

Back in Jersey you were coping but only on the surface. The funeral arrangements were keeping you busy enough to stop yourself from losing it completely, to an observer you were doing very well getting your head down and organising everything. The truth was your mum had her wishes laid out years ago so you knew what to do. People who knew you a bit more noticed how quiet you were, Chris's mum came over with a cup of tea and a cake from your favourite bakery plus some home made pasta bake so you didn't have to worry about cooking. She was always sweet to you, even after the breakup if she saw you round the island she'd always stop for a quick chat, making a point to not mention her son as she knew you were hurting too.

It was the day before the funeral and you sat there in your living room, it was yours now but you didn't want it you just wanted her back. The doorbell went and you sighed before getting up from the cream sofa walking to the door, assuming it was someone checking in on you, your aunt or some more flowers you opened it not caring you were still in your PJ's at two o clock in the afternoon. There on the other side of the door was the only other person you had wanted to see again apart from your mum. You hated yourself for thinking about how good he looked, his hair was now natural and curly and he had sprouted now facial hair, it suited him. Completely forgetting you two hadn't spoken in two years you broke down into tears and fell into his open arms. He wrapped them around you as tightly as he could without hurting placing his head on yours as you sobbed into his shoulder.

"Shhh it's okay. I'm here now." Chris soothed, his voice sounded like angels singing it had been so long since you had heard it not being through a screen. Chris had arrived in Jersey that morning, he caught up with his mum who had told him the how and when's, suggesting that she could really do with a friend to speak to as her mum's health had worsened so much since Chris moved that you spent all of your time caring for her and most people your age had moved on with their own lives. He held you there for a few minutes until you calmed down and the cries turned to small sobs.

"Did you want a cup of tea?" Chris asked, you nodded only realising you had barely drunk anything that day, you weren't taking proper care of yourself, it was too easy to forget to eat, or drink, or change you looked down at your attire.

"Please. Sorry for the state of me."

"You never need to apologise for anything. Ever." Chris's words gave you some relief. Him letting you know that he wasn't mad at you for everything is all you ever wanted to know.

"Place hasn't changed much," Chris mused when the pair of you were sipping on your tea, he even bought out a pack of biscuits from one of the cupboards.

"Dunno what I'm going to do with it now, or with my life." The house belonged to your grandparents who, knowing their daughter was ill left it to her and she now in turn had left it to her daughter. All you have known for years is looking after your mum, you had a job in a book shop but it was part time, the owner knew you and your mother and was very understanding to your situation giving you time off and flexible hours. You would have gone to university but couldn't leave your mum, you put your life on hold for her which was why you wouldn't let Chris do the same for you. It took everything in Chris's power not to say to come back with him, now wasn't the time you needed him to be there and he was.

He sat next to you at the funeral, held your hand he looked up at you encouraging you to go on as you read the eulogy. He had his arm around you as you watched the coffin get lowered for the final time. He stayed in your spare room for three nights, making you breakfast every morning and dinner every evening until he had to go back to film.

"There is no pressure but it wanted a break you can come and see me," Chris offered before he left. You nodded and did think about it seriously, he called and messaged you every day to check in on you and after a month of you wallowing you decided to take him up on the offer messaging him back 'I think I'm ready for that little holiday.'

"Chris, there's another girl at the door for you!" Arthur Hill bellowed from the front door, George smacked the back of his head. In his conversations with Chris the past few weeks he knew you were different.

"I thought he was picking you up at the airport, he's just filming with..." George started to explain when Arthur and Chris came into view.

"It's so nice to see you again," Arthur smiled before bringing you into a hug.

"I got an earlier flight," you smiled at Chris and almost fling yourself into his arms, they felt so safe to be in.

"I feel like a right knob now making you lug that thing around across London."

"Oh it was no bother." You'd take anything to see Chris again sooner.

"So how long are you around for?" ArthurTV asked when you were all sat around the sofas with pizza later on that evening.

"I don't know, whenever I get fed up I guess, I just needed a break," you explained and Arthur nodded sadly. The expression on his face was the same look everyone else gave you, sadness, concern and pity. The only person who didn't look at you like that was Chris, he only had care in his eyes.

You had been to London a handful of times before but there was so much you wanted to see and Chris took you to everything. You laughed together, you cried together but you had realised how much this break was needed and how much better it made you feel but it got you thinking, was it the break or was it Chris? You stayed for three weeks but eventually life needs dealing with.

"I need to make sure the house is still standing at least," you explained to Chris as he watched you pack your bags.

"You can always come back whenever you want. Have my key! I'll get another one cut," Chris suggested and you couldn't help but laugh at his almost childlike optimism.

"You know I sit there in that house and I hate it. It's nothing but bad memories. It's her house, not mine and I just sit there and think about her, watching her deteriorate, thinking about all of the things I missed out on because I stayed."

"Like us?" Chris said softly. Up until now neither of them had bought up their past but Chris couldn't hold it in any longer, these past few weeks had taught him he wasn't prepared to let her go again, there was nothing stopping them this time.

"I had to," you reminded him and yourself. You still stand by what you did, it was the right thing to do at the time.

"I know. You're grieving I'm not going to be an arsehole and jump on you when you're down but. I never stopped loving you." Chris walked to you and gently caressed your cheek with his thumb, it was something he often did before he kissed you and he did, it was very short but incredibly tender.

"I love you too." You whispered bringing him in for another kiss. Guess what they said was also true, absence really did make the heart grow fonder.

#chrismd #chris dixon #chrismd x reader #chrismd fic

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itsclydebitches · 1 year

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losing my mind over the "you could just be a human or a cat" line. the implications are boggling.

I don't even know what to do with that line. I mean yes, Remnant has a fairy tale in which faunus were created by combining humans and animals of comparable human intelligence (which, notably, is information that doesn't exist in RWBY proper), so from that very limited perspective there's a division within the faunus. But really, that's a fictional moral. A metaphor. In-world Blake is an allegory for a minority character; she's a human with characteristics that other her due to bias and systemic discrimination. To paraphrase another post I saw tonight, that's like telling a person of color, "You could be a human or the color black." What are you even talking about?

I can't even get into how this is presumably stemming from Blake's own subconscious, or how she suddenly thinks she needs to be a "bridge" between humans and faunus when she hasn't mentioned her "culture" since Volume 5 - a culture that doesn't exist when set against humans or other faunus. Faunus with cat ears live precisely the same as those with bunny ears who are the same as those with color changing abilities... who are culturally indistinguishable from humans. Is Blake's "culture" then that she's biologically addicted to fish? Will follow a laser pointer? Inevitably terrifies mice?

That's actually the worst part of this for me. We could have grimaced at this, but ultimately chalked it up as one, incredibly ill-thought-out line. However, in four episodes we've already had Blake present herself as a Literal Cat twice more: once when Little freaks out and Blake doesn't correct them and then again in this episode when she tries to steer the Curious Cat by speaking "one cat to another." Everyone remembers "Stop calling him a rapscallion. Stop calling him a degenerate. He's a person!" yeah? After years of having Blake fighting for the equal treatment of faunus and the understanding that they're not animals, now she's reversed to literally talking about herself like she is, in fact, at least half animal, while also being tempted to fully become one.

It's by no means a new problem, but seeing the girls' old designs really hammered home how the writing has betrayed their core personalities and motivations. Blake hasn't cared about faunus rights for four Volumes and has no problem with being thought of as an actual cat. Yang went from accepting that her disability is a part of her to claiming it's unimportant and, weirdly, saying she has to find things in her future rather than just acknowledging that, yes, she did suffer an actual, literal loss and has since worked through that? Weiss is no longer our slowly improving Ice Queen but Nora Lite, making the same broad claims about rehabilitating the Schnee name as she had back in Volume 2, but with none of the acknowledgement of how tainted that name has become after [gestures vaguely] everything she's been through. And our simple soul no longer has enough hope to fill a jar. The last reversal is at least compelling in terms of the potential character development, but considering that Volume 9 has, thus far, interrupted that development at every turn (meeting Little, fainting, walking away from conversations, being saved by the Curious Cat) I am not feeling very hopeful this week.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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run-me-through-but-not-like-that · 2 years

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i love your work! you write my favorite boys so well!!! (didn’t know I needed a steddyhands x reader fix but i 100% do) I love how you write izzy!

could we have some unexpectedly badass reader? like they’re sweet and gentle all the time and everyone assumes they’re harmless but then the crew gets attacked and y/n just lets loose and it turns out they’re easily one of the strongest members of the crew.

either with Izzy or all three of them? maybe even a continuation of the one where reader takes care of izzy?

i just want reader to be cool and the boys freaking out since they thought you were amazing before and now you’re also badass?!

thank you if you decide to do it and no worries if not! ill be waiting for you next post either way!

Izzy Hands has a competency kink! Sex is alluded too but doesn't happen.

SteddyHands Discovering your a Talented Fighter:

The violent rocking of the ship followed by the sound of cannon fire had the four of you shooting up in the bed you shared, the bed that Stede had extended just after the four of you got together.

"What-" Stede began to question and everyone untangled their limbs from each other.

"We're being raided," Izzy was already on his feet, pulling on his clothes with single-minded determination. Edward jumped up just behind him, dressing just as quickly.

You cursed to yourself as you joined them, tugging on your clothes as quick as you could, while Stede stumbled out of bed to dress as well.

The four of your were dressed and out the door within the minute, being greeted by the chaos out on the deck. Izzy was right, of course, you were being boarded.

You and Izzy had your swords drawn only seconds before Edward did while Stede assessed the deck and accounted for his crew.

Snapping into action, Izzy barking a few orders across the deck. Orders that included for you and Stede to get back into the cabin.

Stede had improved his swordsmanship through his lessons with Izzy but didn't yet meet the first mate's standards, and Izzy suddenly realised he had never even seen you wield a sword. There was no way he was letting either of you get hurt, you would stay in the cabin while they handled this.

Edward, feeling protective, was inclined to agree with his first mate.

"I'll be fine, Israel," Stede assured him, finally drawing his own sword.

"Don't worry, love, I've got this," you promised, giving him a small smile before scanning the deck again.

Noticing that the Swede was getting overwhelmed by the side of the ship, flailing his sword around and only just deflecting his opponent's attacks, you jumped into action and hurried over.

Taking his attacker by surprise, you caught his sword arm, twisting it and tripping him over the railing.

The captains and first mate couldn't hear you over the rest of the chaos but you shouted something at Swede over the noise, who just nodded and hurried off to do whatever you told him.

Before they knew it, you had completely thrown yourself into the fray.

"Fuck!" Izzy growled as he lunged into the fight.

Edward watched his first mate, the familiar ruthlessness as he protected his ship, a small smirk forming on his face. Stede nearly called out for Izzy but thought better of it, he could handle himself, instead turning his attention back to you.

"Edward, perhaps you should assist them," Stede suggested, worrying as he nodded towards you.

"I think they have it handled..." Edward looked to you, gaze lingering a moment.

You moved like a fury, a force of nature, unstoppable and immovable. Predicting each move of your opponent, lunging and cutting without mercy, a fire in your eyes and Edward recognised. A fire that he and Izzy once possessed.

Clearing his part of the deck, Izzy spun around to see where his lovers were.

The captain were at the the top of the deck, fighting back to back, watching out for each other. Edward fought just like he did all those years ago, majestic and menacing. Stede cared for presentation, and had certainly improved, but had yet to match his co-captain's skill. He very well may never reach that level, due to no fault of his own, but he was proving he could handle his own.

Izzy tore his gaze away, searching for you, only to be surprised by the sight he was meet with.

You were dancing around the deck, a threatening look on your face but making no error in making childish taunts. Everything you did seemed thought through as you moved like something from myth.

And when you pulling one of Jim's throwing knives out of the mast and landed it between the eyes of an opponent before he could even get within ten feet of you, Izzy felt his knees go weak.

He managed to pull his attention away, getting back to the task at hand.

With the enemy crew defeated, Izzy ordered Ivan and Fang to lead the rest of the crew on dealing with the other ship.

The usual, pillage and burn. The ship would turn to ash for daring to attack Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate.

Once everything was under control and the Revenge was sailing as far away as possible, the four of you retired to the captain's cabin. Old and new aches flaring up as you all shrugged off your outer layers, slumping down into the plush seats of the sitting area.

You all took it in turns to wash, barely a word spoke between any of you yet, tired and tense. Izzy was the last to wash up and you had headed out to grab something to eat and drink while he was in the bathroom.

You returned to the cabin with a tray of bread, meats, and water, nothing fancy just enough to rehydrate and refuel. You set the tray down, only then realising the three sets of eyes that were on you.

Glancing between the there men, you tried to read what they were thinking. They were just staring at you, their expressions unfamiliar. "Are...is everything alright?" you asked with a frown.

They were staring at you like a siren had just wandered into the room.

You looked between them again, you couldn't think of what might have been wrong. The crew was mostly unharmed, only receiving superficial wounds, which was a miracle but still true. So, it couldn't have been that. There were some repairs to be made, of course, but nothing they couldn't manage or afford once they reached a port. Plus, they had come out of the whole thing making a profit from the spoils from the other ship.

So, what was that look on their faces for?

"Why didn't you tell us you could fight like that?" Edward asked, watching you with wide eyes full of...adoration?

None of them had ever seen you fight, at least not at your full potential. They had always felt overprotective on raids or when danger was around, over both you and Stede to be fair.

They honestly just didn't think you had it in you. You were always so kind and easy-going among the crew. You had never been anything but sweet and gentle when it came to them. Though, of course, why would you have to be anything other than sweet and gentle with them?

You were patient, soft. They hadn't thought you capable of taking on another crew like that. Clearly, they had been wrong.

"Oh, uh...I'm a pirate, I thought you'd just assume I knew what I was doing," you answered, brow furrowing slightly.

"Knowing how to fight isn't exactly common among this crew," Izzy reminded you.

"Be kind, Israel," Stede sighed, even if he wasn't completely wrong. The crew had handled themselves just fine today.

"I'm right about this, though!" Izzy insisted.

"He does make a point," Edward agreed, reminding Stede that, "you aren't really doing things traditionally."

"I suppose that is true," Stede hummed before turning his attention back to you. "Anyway, my dear, why hadn't you mentioned your skill?" he asked.

"It just never came up" you shrugged. "Stede, I did tell you that I sailed under a different flag before I signed up with you, didn't I?"

"You did, my fault for not assuming, I suppose," Stede nodded.

"You could have mentioned something so we wouldn't worry when something like this happened!" Izzy sounded frustrated but you saw right through it, right through to the fear.

"Israel, darling..."

"C'mon, mate..."

"No, no, it's alright," you assured them before approaching where Izzy sat.

Taking his face in your hands and brushing your thumbs against his cheeks. "I'm fine, my love. I didn't think to mention it because I thought you all knew. Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you, but please rest with the knowledge that I can look after myself and you needn't worry about me during a fight," you assured him, hoping to soothe his worries.

You felt the tension leave his body as he let out a sigh, nodding in understanding and acceptance. You smiled softly, such a contrast from the cruel grin you wore up on deck only hours ago, and gave him a tender kiss. Reminding him that you were that, that you were okay, that everyone was okay.

Sensing that most of the concern had drained from the room, Edward stood from his seat. "Okay, cool, because you were so fucking hot!" he praised, practically tearing you away from the first mate and pulling you into him to give you a searing kiss.

You couldn't help but giggle into his kiss but instantly returned it, gripping at his shirt.

"You and Izzy out there, fighting like fucking hurricanes," Edward murmured against your lips.

"Really?" you asked playfully.

"The hottest fucking thing I've ever seen," Izzy mumbled his agreeance, making you and Edward laugh before the captain kissed you again.

"Well, I have to agree, you were quite the sight, dearest," Stede came up behind you, taking his turn to embrace you. Edward releasing you as the other captain turned you around. "A fierce and dashing pirate," he pulled you into a passionate kiss.

"Thank you, love," you laughed softly, slipping your arms around his waist. "I really was just doing my job though," you insisted.

"Oh! Perhaps you could help train the crew. I imagine you'll have a gentler hand than Izzy," Stede suggested.

"Not my fault they don't fucking listen," Izzy huffed as he pushed himself up from his seat, relaxing some more as Edward pulled him into your little huddle.

"I'll give it a go, Stede," you promised, honestly not minding. Plus, it would help protect the crew.

"Are we still talking or can we get a more private look at your skills?" Edward asked suggestively, hands taking hold of your hips as he pressed up behind you, murmuring against the nape of your neck.

"Edward, I'm sure they're very tired after that display," Stede chastised lightly, as if his own hold on you didn't tighten.

You laughed at their light bickering as you reached out for Izzy, taking hold of his shirt and pulling him closer to you.

"I think I'll manage," you assured them, lowly against the first mate's lips.

You managed to steal a quick, biting kiss from Izzy before one of the captains swept you off of your feet and hauled you over to the bed.

#israel hands x reader #izzy hands x reader #edward teach x reader #ofmd x reader #stede bonnet x reader #steddy hands #ofmd #our flag means death #steddyhands #steddyhands x reader

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