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angel-kyo · 4 months

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Pay it no mind

Part XIV

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. There is a mention of reader being injured, and I guess everyone is ooc here, but thank you for bearing with me.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII

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A week. Seven full days of silence. When was the last time you had gone this long without any contact with Satoru?

No calls. No messages. Not even a glimpse of him. You had learned from Ijichi that he had been sent on a mission to a distant part of the country just a couple days ago. In other words, there was nowhere to see him.

Initially, it had been a relief. After he left on that fateful night, and you allowed your feelings out. It was only then that it hit you: you had never cried over his rejection. It had hurt, and you had grieved in some way, but maybe by immediately pretending it had never happened, you had prevented yourself from accepting heartbreak.

The truth was just too scary to accept, so you had told Satoru the same lies you had been telling yourself for the past months. ‘It was just a crush’, ‘It has passed’, ‘I’m over it’.

“Liar,” you muttered to your own reflection on the bathroom mirror. Dark bags were starting to form under the eyes that returned your gaze.

Your back was sore and your sleep had not been the best during the last few days.

At first, you had been upset with Satoru, and then upset with yourself for not being able to just dodge the hit and play it cool.

Satoru must have known how much of an unpleasant memory it was for you. Why did he have to bring up the rejection again?

He was not that dense, and neither were you. Your friendship had often felt as both of you stepping right on the line between friends and lovers. Sometimes one of you would lose balance and almost fall on either side of it. Even if both of you denied it, none of you had a similar relationship with anyone else. Still, you believed he had given you the definitive push the day he rejected you.

If he could not feel the same, you could respect that. In fact, you had vowed to just forget it. But why did he have to kiss you while being aware of the hold he had on you?

It’s probably nothing to him, that’s why.

You remembered what Shoko had told you once.

“He is a bit selfish when it comes to you,” Shoko said softly, putting her head on your shoulder.

It must have been summer with how hot it was, and you could see droplets of sweat forming on Shoko’s forehead. You and she were sitting on a bench, outside of a convenience store. She had sent Geto and Gojo for drinks inside.

Satoru had initially said that Shoko and Suguru should go, but Ieiri had refused, saying she was getting a heatstroke and needed to sit down, with you to keep her company. Gojo rolled his eyes but let Suguru pulled him into the store anyway.

“Are you really feeling unwell?”

She only smiled.

At the beginning of your friendship with Suguru and Shoko, Satoru had wanted for all of you to get along, but he was not particularly appreciative of you spending too much time with either of them without him. He had loosened up quickly, though, but Shoko and Suguru were an exception. If he could keep you by his side, he would.

He could not take it back. All he had said and done; all the ways he made it look like there was more to it when there was not.

He can’t take any of it back, and neither can I. Paying it no mind is not going to solve it either.

You looked at your phone. You had sent Satoru a message earlier, just to make sure he was okay. Not that you should worry; he was strong, and if the world had not yet collapsed under curses, he was probably still alive. However, it was not like him to stay away from you this long with nothing but radio silence in between.

I guess I did kick him out, so I can’t blame him.

You washed your face and went to bed, not bothering to take your phone back to the bedroom. You needed to sleep, and the only person you cared to chat with at the moment had not even read your message.

***

“Okay, this one is it. Just try it out.” Satoru patted the mattress of the queen size bed he had found at the department store you were currently at.

You sat down. “It’s… It’s okay,” you said.

To Satoru, you did not sound impressed at all. “Just okay?”

You nodded. “Comfortable.”

“Is that how you try out a mattress? Do you sleep sitting up, [name]?” he asked smiling as he laid down on the sample bed.

You looked around. None of the other clients were really looking at you, too focused on their own shopping to care, but still…

“It’s kind of embarrassing.” You directed your eyes back to Satoru.

“It’s not, and it’s the only right way to do it,” Satoru said smiling and patting the mattress again so you would lay down too, which you finally did.

“And?” he asked.

The ceiling lights of the store were a little too bright, but if you focused only on how the mattress felt, it was indeed comfortable.

You had just signed the lease for your first apartment and getting some furniture was the next thing on your to-do list to become an independent person. Among the basics, having something to sleep on would be nice. That is how Satoru had accompanied you shopping for your first mattress.

“It’s more than okay,” you admitted.

“You should get it then.”

“How much is it, though?” Your eyes widened a bit after looking at the price, and you got up from the spot immediately. "Forget it. It's one zero too much."

I wouldn’t be surprised if they charged for just trying it.

Satoru, on the other hand, could not have looked more unbothered even if he tried. This was why going shopping with him and a budget in mind was useless.

“If this is the one you like, I would not mind…”

You shook your head. “No way. I have a budget, I just need to stick to it,” you reassured him. “Besides, this one would not even fit in my bedroom.”

Of course, he would not mind lending you money. He might not even ever ask you to pay back, but this was your quest for independence. You would rather not to lean on his resources. It was the same reason you had declined Yaga’s offer to crash at the school dorms, even though now that you were starting your teaching career there, it might have been convenient. It was going to be nice to have your own space, plus, now that all your former classmates had left, the dorms were too empty and too full of memories at the same time.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” A store clerk had spotted you and landed next to you. The woman was quick to compliment the model ‘you two’ had chosen.

Satoru had sat up and was now looking at her. When she looked at him more closely, her words halted, and a light blush appeared on her cheeks.

Right, that’s the effect he has on people.

You mentally thanked Satoru for being so good-looking that people would become speechless on his presence and allow you to speak instead.

“Actually,” you started, “this is not quite what I’m looking for.”

“Oh, well…” She seemed to have recovered from the momentary shock of first meeting Satoru’s face, “We have some other options that are preferred by couples. I will be glad to show you…”

You and Satoru shared a small smile. Another one, huh?

“We are not…” he said.

“We are friends,” you stated.

“Oh, sorry.” Her smile looked sincere, “Then is there anything you are looking for in particular?”

“Are there any… smaller options?” you asked hopeful. Maybe she had some cheaper ones too.

She nodded politely and asked you to follow her to another area of the store.

“Smaller?” Satoru had stood up to follow you. “How will we both sleep in it?” He was smirking.

You elbowed him, and he was kind enough to pretend it had hurt.

“Don’t say anything else that will confuse the lady,” you hissed and he chuckled.

That day, Satoru pretty much ended up picking your bed. It was not as big as he had wanted it, but it was comfortable enough and, to your delight, within budget. The only downside to Satoru was that it would require a bit of effort for both of you to fit in.

***

“Fancy seeing you here.” Satoru sat across from Shoko at her table in the school cafeteria.

She had decided to take a break from reviewing files at the infirmary and usually, she would not go to the cafeteria, but you had pulled her there so many times that her feet had carried her there almost automatically.

She looked at Gojo’s face. “You are back.”

“Got back last night.” He took out his phone and Shoko saw him check something on the screen and put it down on the table. Was it her imagination or he seemed tired? Tough to say without seeing his eyes, but he did have a duller aura around him right now.

Shoko raised her cup of tea to her lips and eyed Satoru’s phone.

“New phone?” she asked.

Satoru had leaned back on his chair and a adopted a more carefree expression. Even if he was a grown man, Shoko would have said he looked just the same as when they were highschoolers.

“Yeah…” It was impossible to tell, but Ieiri also thought his eyes were looking around the cafeteria, and she had a hunch on what he was searching for, or rather, who. “The other one broke down. It’s the same number, though.”

His phone had broken down three days ago, it slipped and the screen turned pitch black. It had not shut down immediately, though, and it still rang when Ijichi called him, but if he could not see the screen, it was no use keeping it.

Satoru had not really cared at first, only getting a cheap phone to communicate through the end of his mission. Ijichi had gotten a more suitable replacement ready for him when he got back, and it was only after setting it up and retrieving his backup data, that Satoru realized you had actually messaged him days ago.

Unlucky.

He had not replied yet, figuring he would see you at the school anyway and could maybe set things straight between you two. However, he had not encountered you across campus, and when he peeked at your class, your students were being looked after by a first-grade sorcerer he had seen around a few times, filling in the substitute teacher position.

He wanted to ask Shoko. “Say, Sho-”

“[name] took a couple days off,” she interrupted him while placing her cup back on the table and encircling it with both hands.

Can she read minds?

Shoko could not, but knowing Gojo, it was taking him long enough to ask about you.

"Oh."

She looked at him. “They...”

Shoko wanted to tell Satoru you had paid her a visit after one of your missions that week, but she was not sure you would have wanted Gojo to know.

Ieiri had been surprised at first when she saw you that day. A lot of blood always made it difficult to perceive at first glance how big a wound really was. After a closer inspection, she realized the injuries on your torso were not too concerning, not for someone with her abilities at least.

But if they were a regular person and I was a regular doctor, they would have probably been bed-ridden for a while, she thought.

She had had you in walking condition after a couple days, but it still bothered her. Getting injured during missions was the norm for sorcerers, especially younger ones, however, she knew you were experienced in battle. A scratch here and there was expected, but she had seen you returning more beaten up lately.

They are taking on more difficult missions, that was what she wanted to tell Gojo. She was not sure whether you were trying to get promoted or if for some reason they were actively assigning you missions above your rank.

The cup Shoko was holding was warming her hands.

A thought assaulted her mind: There is no predicting the higher-ups.

If you had upset one and now had a target on your back, Satoru could help you out, could he not?

“What is it?” Gojo tilted his head looking straight at Ieiri, or at least she felt this time he was looking at her.

“Nothing. I think they will be back tomorrow.”

Satoru had thought about visiting you, but seeing how that turned out last time, he decided to wait.

Giving you space was the right call in his experience. Usually, no matter what the problem was, you could talk it through when you both had had some time to mull it over.

But, in this case, how much time did you need?

The whole situation was like nothing you and him had faced before. Fighting over snacks or over a joke that went a step too far was one thing. The look you had given him that night and the way you called him selfish, that was completely different, and it had haunted him since he left your apartment.

Satoru grabbed his phone and finally replied to your message. He hit 'send' and offered an attempt of a smile to Shoko.

“If I asked for advice, would you give me some?”

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Note: I almost forgot my iconic note (even though I'm the only one who thinks it's iconic). And the note is... there is no note, just my love. <3

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XV

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh

#gojo satoru #jjk #gojo x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk fanfic #gojo x you #jjk gojo #gojo x y/n #gojo fanfic #satoru gojō x reader #satoru x reader #pay it no mind #jujutsu kaisen

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leclercsainzz · 6 months

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RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME

— 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: not much, just a small series collection of taylor swift’s songs with the formula one drivers

in which they say that timing is everything when it comes to love, and that sometimes the right person can come into your life at the wrong time

➝ f1 drivers

→ → → → → → → → → → → → →

i. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐂 - red

— “losing him was blue, like i’d never known … missing him was dark gray, all alone … forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met, but loving him was red”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: as time passed and they went their separate ways, the intensity of that love faded into a dull ache of longing and regret

ii. 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐙 - champagne problems

— “she would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in the end, she couldn’t bring herself to say “yes” to his proposal

iii. 𝐌𝐀𝐗 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍 - the way i loved you

— “you were wild and crazy … just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated got away by some mistake”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: despite knowing the fact that they aren’t good for each other, they can’t help but want each other

iv. 𝐋𝐄𝐖𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐎𝐍 - cardigan

— “i knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which memories of their time together come flooding back, making it hard to fully move on

v. 𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐋 - my tears ricochet

— “and you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain crossing out the good years”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which his bitterness and resentment erase the moments of happiness they once shared

vi. 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐎 - i don’t want to live forever

— “i’m sitting eyes wide open and i got one thing stuck in my mind, wondering if i dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which she might’ve dodged a bullet, but he certainly lost the love of his life

vii. 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 - i bet you think about me

— “i bet you think about me when you’re out at your cool indie music concerts every week”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: they’re over, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking about her every now and then

viii. 𝐎𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐈𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈 - you’re losing me

— “my heart won’t start anymore for you ‘cause you’re losing me”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which she’s slowly falling out of love

ix. 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐘 - mr. perfectly fine

— “how’s your heart after breakin’ mine?”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: despite being the one who ended things, he’s more heartbroken than she is

x. 𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐁𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐂𝐎𝐍 - the great war

— “i vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the great war”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: many of them did not survive the great war of heartbreak, and unfortunately, they were among those who did not make it through”

xi. 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋 - exile

— “all this time, i never learned to read your mind … i couldn’t turn things around”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: “he was so focused on his own feelings and needs that he failed to notice the subtle hints she was trying to send

xii. 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐎𝐍 - right where you left me

— “you left me no choice but to stay here forever”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which she’s still at the restaurant

xiii. 𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐓 - happiness

— “no one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which they both deeply hurt each other

xiv. 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 - better man

— “push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: she’d been hurt many times before and didn’t want to risk getting hurt again, so she pushed his love away and caused more heartbreak

xv. 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐒𝐎𝐍 - bigger than the whole sky

— “what could’ve been, would’ve been, what should’ve been”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: what could’ve, would’ve, or should’ve been the one for her, but sometimes things don’t work out as you hope

xvi. 𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐎 - sad beautiful tragic

— “distance, timing, breakdowns, fighting … silence, the train runs off its tracks”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: maybe it was the distance that kept them apart, or the timing that always seemed to be off

author’s note: helloooo! so i decided to start a new series:) i got inspired by some of @love-belle series of the drivers, so make sure to check her page out:))

i’ll still be posting request that you guys have sent in … if you have sent requests, don’t worry i’ll get to them eventually 😊

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archivist-the-knight · 3 months

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love how the entire slimecicle bg3 gang is like really smart they're also all just. actually im exploring this

xiv is very smart. not only are they an arcane battery, their father likely gave them plenty of books to read about spell-casting. so they're a big thinker. but what stops them from reaching their true potential is the fact that they likely don't allow themselves to properly process their more negative emotions, like rai's death and whatnot. and they're... literally going through this entire adventure after escaping an incredibly toxic and neglectful environment. they're probably trying to push back how their father was a piece of shit as well and its not working because their dream visitor IS their father!! so they know their way around a book but don't know how to deal with their father screaming from the other room :-3

tal i think is very aware of others feelings, and partially emotionally intelligent for himself. he tries to talk rai down before he's forced to kill him, being kind to him in rai's final moments of lucidity. he understand's something wrong with xiv, that there's something they aren't telling the rest of the group, but he doesn't wanna pry. in terms of more "intellectual intelligence" i think he is smart but just... doesn't know how to articulate it. he can do it, but unlike xiv he literally cannot explain it to you. it's like how he mispronounced monotonous; he knows of it, he just forgot the pronunciation. basically him and xiv are kind of inverses of each other; xiv is smart and can explain it, but can't deal with their emotions. tal can recongize his and others emotions, and while being a bit smart he can't explain it like xiv can and forgets the information sometime. another thing i think they have in common is accidentally lashing out in anger. tal doesn't know why (not a violent dog; doesn't know why he bites) and xiv knows but wishes they didnt (violent dog; wishes they didn't know why they bite.)

klip. i'm gonna be honest i think he's the most normal in the group and that is genuinely saying something. he's about average in terms of emotional and intelectual intelligence, but. the way he reacts to rai being weird is touching the book thats glowing ominously, but at the same time checking to see if he's okay. it's like he's barely passed the skillcheck, and thus while it's good, there are aspects of it he's missing. its not the fact that he can't read the room, its the fact that he can read parts of it. the rest of it he realizes depending on the person's reaction. im 50/50 on whether or not he harbors a bit of guilt from not actually defeating that goblin camp but this again. is klip we're talking about. surprisingly the most well adjusted of the group despite the squidfucking.

now rai... i think rai. thinks he's well adjusted but oh. isn't. i think its the book that makes him realize he craves a family more than anything. but its really too late to change anything is it. and just god... rai's death was so fucked man. he didn't even get to learn anything about his parents, we didnt get to learn anything about his parents, before he died. its so... goddd its fucked. anyway yeah. rai thinks he is. the book reminds him so coldly and cruelly that he isnt <333

all of that to say. just because they're dumbasses does not mean they're stupid. also @flammablefaerie the bread is here

#eden mrraps.#also i know discussing intelligence can be finnicky so if i accidentally sound ableist let me know please <3 #slimecicle bg3

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raccoonhearteyes · 2 years

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Read on AO3

Epilogue

March 11th, 2019

“So you’re the girl Clarke has been hiding all these months. It’s great to finally meet you!” Octavia sweeps Lexa into a hug, welcoming her into their home.

It’s not the first time they’ve met. They’ve actually met several times since Clarke came knocking on her door back in January. But each time, Octavia forgets. Each time, she’s greeted anew.

Clarke squeezes her thigh under the table, a soft apology for the repetition. They haven’t quite navigated how they’ll deal with this as more and more time passes. Not meeting the new girlfriend when it’s only been a handful of months is reasonable. What happens when it��s years? A decade?

June 12th, 2020

Clarke has a second exhibit of Lexa portraits.

Lexa grabs a glass from a nearby tray, and sits back to watch her girlfriend work. She loves watching Clarke talk about a piece, the way her eyes light up, the way she moves her hands to show what she was talking about.

She watches the one person who remembers her listen to and answer questions from some buyer on the other side of the gallery. She looks good, all business focused. This is the same girl who sprinkles cinnamon in her tea, koalas around a warm body in bed, paints Lexa and only Lexa. She’s suddenly struck by just how much she loves this girl. How much happier she has been since watching her stuff appetizers into her purse at some event two years ago.

By the time Lexa makes it to Clarke, the evening is winding down.

“How did you like it?”

“Looking at a room full of my own nudes? It’s a real ego boost,” Lexa jokes, “But seriously. I love it. Even better than the last one. I’m so proud of you, Clarke.”

“Is it weird for you? Coming in on my arm and having no one remember meeting you before?”

“It is, but I like seeing you work. I like being able to come support you. It’s worth it.” She brushes a lock of hair behind Clarke’s ear and kisses her cheek.

They’re walking home in the dark, fingers tangled, still buzzing from the excitement of the evening, when a shadow appears from an alleyway. They both think they’re about to be mugged, before they realize they recognize the shadowy figure.

Lexa steps protectively in front of Clarke.

“You shouldn’t be able to do this,” he sneers, “Your art was mine in our deal.”

“I asked for her in every capacity. That included my art, apparently,” Clarke flaunts, “Careful with your wording next time, dearie,” she parrots the words he used against Lexa so many times back to him.

His eyes glow red again, fuming with anger. He steps closer to Lexa, staring her down, then snaps his fingers, and disappears.

They both check themselves over again to make sure they’re not hurt. He’s just as bound to his contracts as they are, but he did something, they’re just not sure what.

Later that evening, Lexa finds her first gray hair, and smiles. He restarted her aging. He’s going to be so angry when he realizes that makes things easier for her.

October 8th, 2020

Clarke has a ring box in her sock drawer. She’s had it for months, but she cannot fathom leaving it there any longer or she’s going to explode. Sometimes she looks at Lexa and her heart feels like it is about to pound out of her chest. She thought you were supposed to grow out of that after dating for so long. Apparently not.

Being in love used to mystify her. She used to worry about the other shoe dropping. Too afraid to give someone else so much of her heart and trust them not to break it. But she looks at Lexa and all of those worries disappear. She looks at Lexa and sees the woman she’ll grow old with. The fact that that doesn’t terrify her terrifies her.

She probably should have hidden it somewhere less cliche. She doesn’t even think about it when she tells Lexa to grab a pair of her fuzzy socks from her drawer when she complains of chilly feet.

When Lexa emerges from the bedroom clutching that not-so-well-hidden box moments later, Clarke’s brain kicks into overdrive.

“Clarke, what’s this?” Lexa asks.

“Shit, you weren’t supposed to find it like this,” Clarke decides now is as good a time as any. She really should have rehearsed this, written something down maybe. She scrambles to take the box from Lexa’s hands, “Lexa, I have loved you since before I could remember. Literally. We met dozens of times, and each time was new, and each time I fell for you. Even though I couldn’t remember you, I had this gut feeling, this wrenching feeling that I was missing something because I was. I was missing you. You complete me. You make me a better artist. A better person, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

If comes out as a jumble of words, all tripping out of Clarke’s mouth at once, but she bends down on one knee, looks up earnestly at Lexa, and opens the box.

Lexa’s eyes look watery, and then she says the last thing Clarke expected, “Clarke, I can’t,” and Clarke feels like all of the air was sucked out of her lungs. Oh god. Has she misread this the whole time? Clarke stumbles and she snaps the box closed and moves to stand, when Lexa’s words seem to catch up to her own brain.

“Wait, that didn’t come out right. I would love to, but I can’t.”

Clarke’s lip wobbles, “That really doesn’t sound any different.”

“Clarke, my name can’t be on a marriage license. You literally can’t marry me. Your friends and family don’t remember meeting me. How would that even work?”

“It’s not for them. Or the state. It’s for me. And you. It’s for us. Of course I know your name can’t go on a license. I know I reintroduce people to you regularly. The point is that I love you, and I want to be able to call you my wife, even if we do a ceremony of just us in our pajamas at home.”

“Oh,” Lexa softens, she blushes a beet red and shuffles a bit in her borrowed fuzzy socks, “Is it too late to change my answer then?”

Clarke slips the ring out of the box and places it on Lexa’s finger. Her eyes are misty and her smile is so bright she can’t help but taste it, but not before whispering, “so stupid” in the space between them first.

They wear dresses and buy rings and a cake the next month. Saying vows in front of Clarke’s childhood stuffed animal that sits on the shelf in the living room.

September 5th, 2034

By Clarke’s fourth show, she’s earned herself quite the reputation. She’s famous for her portraits, all of the same woman. Only of this same woman. Art critics call her Clarke’s “Secret Muse.” They write essays about how no one has ever met her. There’s speculation of if she’s real or just a figment of Clarke’s creativity.

“Listen to this one,” Lexa calls from the couch, "As I stand under the largest piece of Ms. Griffin's latest tantalizing exhibition, aptly named, Stranger in Plain Sight, it is hard not to feel as though I should know this woman beyond the void of mere charcoal and bristle. Beyond the beauty and whimsy of such an elusive muse; an ethereal kind of elegance painted in what can only be described as liminal glimpses into her soul. Each canvas serves as a piece of the greater puzzle, an obscure abstraction dangling on Ms. Griffin's ever elusive string, one that makes this particular viewer yearn for the surely sublime knowledge of even knowing this subject's name," Lexa reads with a snort while sitting in a ripped pair of boxers and a T-shirt with a coffee stain. "But, dear reader, I can say with confidence such a void remains between artist and ardent viewer. Where Ms. Griffin has seemingly left no stone unturned with her muse, alas, we woeful patrons are condemned to collect her only in brushstrokes, and the most verdant hues of green."

Clarke giggles from the kitchen table, “It’ll never get old that you have met half of these people and they’re still completely unaware. You shook her hand last year at the Met for god’s sake!”

“They haven’t made deals with the devil, don’t judge them!” Lexa sassing back.

There are rumors about why Clarke wears a wedding ring. If the mystery spouse has been the muse all along. Interviewers frequently ask why they aren’t present, and Clarke just answers with a knowing smirk, usually with Lexa on her arm, or at the very least making eye-contact with her across the room.

The mystery adds to the value.

May 5th 2088

By the time they’re old and gray, there are hundreds of portraits of Lexa. Her life is captured in glimpses and pieces on canvas. It is the only mark she is able to leave in the world. Lexa feels like every bit of her soul has truly been seen by the world, whether they know it or not. Clarke leaves a big enough mark on the world for both of them.

In her old age, Clarke begins to forget things. She’ll forget where she is, if she’s taken her pills, the directions to the drugstore. But she never forgets Lexa. Sometimes she’s confused in time, lost back somewhere in her twenties when she sees a painting of Lexa done in their youth.

“That’s my wife, you know,” Clarke says.

Lexa answers with a fond smile, “Yes, love, I know.” She kisses a wrinkled hand.

When Clarke passes at 88 years old, Lexa knows for certain that Clarke was the best part of her life, and with her mark in the world irrevocably there, she lets the darkness take her soul.

#lexa #clexa #the invisible life of addie larue #clarke griffin #clexa au #if you want the angst ending let me know #because i had one #but decided to spare us all because i hurt my own feelings #shoutout to butmakeitgay for helping through this whole thing #and writing the pretentious art critique

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peacock-mooncat · 2 months

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♦ B A S I C S ♦

Name: Sierra bihn Gamduhla

Nicknames: Sie (to her friends), the Jewel of Thavnair (to her admirers), and goddess (to Ul'dahn elites with enough gil)

Age: Late 20s, early 30s

Nameday: 13th Sun of the Sixth Umbral Moon

Race: Miqo'te, Keeper of the Moon 🌙☺️

Gender: Female

Orientation: Pansexual

Profession: Adventurer, dancer, socialite

♦ P H Y S I C A L ~ A S P E C T S ♦

Hair: A dark, saturated purple with blonde streaks, kept at medium length with straight-cut bangs in front. Some of her blonde streaks are natural, but she likes to add a few herself.

Eyes: A vibrant red-magenta, with the trademark large moonkitty eyes 🥺

Skin: Rich brown

Tattoos/scars: A prominent scar runs across her left eye. No one has gotten her to say how it came to be, only that she considers it the fault of her own hubris.

♦ F A M I L Y ♦

Parents: Sierra never knew her father. She's descended from a long line of Thavnairian merchants; her mother is the current matriarch of her Keeper clan, and a decently successful merchant as well. Sierra doesn't talk about her too much, hinting that maybe their relationship is not cordial.

Siblings: Rhekka bihn Gamduhla is Sierra's much-younger, more-chaotic sister. Her and Sierra see eye-to-eye on very little.

Grandparents: Sierra's grandparents passed away before she was born.

In-laws and Other: Since she married Yrja, she's only got, uh, Fran and Balthier as in-laws. Well, technically anyway; it's likely neither of them know Sierra even exists.

Pets: Ingot, her Othardian Peacock! Sierra got Ingot when he was just a chick, and helped raise him. He grew quite a bit larger than she expected, and now helps ferry her across Etheirys.

♦ S K I L L S ♦

Abilities: Dancing, a bit of blue magic, hosting friends

Hobbies: Goldsmithing, reading Ishgardian romance novels, performing in minor events at the Carnivale

♦ T R A I T S ♦

Most Positive Trait: She tries her best to read a room and make everyone comfortable. Whether it's in a dungeon with fellow adventurers or relaxing with friends in safety, Sierra strives to keep spirits light -- sometimes to her detriment.

Most Negative Trait: Not all that glitters is gold -- gems, silks, and flesh fascinate just as well. While she normally has a good head on her shoulders, beautiful things make her weak. She's made some poor choices in life due to her greed for gil, due to a pretty girl's wink, or due to the promise of a rare gemstone.

♦ L I K E S ♦

Colors: Emerald green, deep purple, gold; jewel tones in general

Smells: Floral scents! The smell of Thavnair's markets, and of fresh-baked sweets

Textures: Smooth textures, especially fabrics. Silk is one of her favorites.

Drinks: Tea, though she's open and will try other drinks when the opportunity presents itself.

♦ O T H E R ~ D E T A I L S ♦

Smokes: She partakes of a smoking pipe every now and again in social situations, but it's not something she does on the regular.

Drinks: She drinks socially, and prefers tastier drinks to hard liquor.

Drugs: Not yet. Probably not likely, but the right one could pique her curiosity.

Mount Issuance: Ingot, her Othardian Peacock! ... deja vu.

Been Arrested: Nah, Sierra is fairly law-abiding.

------------------ Thanks for tagging me @iona-xiv, this was really fun!! ☺️

A'ight, time to start tagging -- sorry if you've already been tagged, I tried to check first but I might've missed it! @tsunael, @starforger, @airis-ray, @cassandra-allegra (GIMME YRJA LORE); I am 100% positive there are people I am forgetting and I am so sorry, my brain is mush after this post haha

#ffxiv #ffxiv oc #ffxiv meme #miqo'te #mooncat #keeper of the moon

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thevikingwoman · 5 months

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Author Interview

tagged by @galadrieljones thank you!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

197,188

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Dragon Age, Uprooted (Naomi Novik), Wayfarer IF, Final Fantasy XIV.

only the latter two in the past year.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Temporal Arrangements (Dragon Age Inquistion, Solavellan, E) Time Travel canon-divergent AU

Home (Uprooted - Naomi Novik, Sarkan/Agnieszka, T) Canon coda

Ar Lath Ma (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Solavellan, T) Post canon fix it fix

Pies (Uprooted - Naomi Novik, Sarkan/Agnieszka, M ) post happily ever after domestic fluff

Temerity (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Solavellan, E) post canon enemies/not really enemies bdsm smut

5. do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to all of them! I love getting comments and when I comment I love getting replies on comments myself.

I may forget though, and I'm sorry! I love comments

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

God Slayer (Solavellan, T) I really like this one.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings, though I really like them with a tinge of uncertainty or bittersweetness.

the most straight up happily ever after is probably Hay, (Solavellan, E) which is just a very self-indulgent little happy fic.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I don't think I ever had?

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I do write smut! I love writing smut, it's such a good challenge and it makes me happy. I love characterization through smut - and it's such an interesting way to do characterization. That said, sometimes I'm just thirsty and I want to see two characters smash. I'm not pretentious about it. I'm here to have fun and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to read or write porn.

I write all sort of smut? I do love playing with power dynamics in sex scenes.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

The closest I've written is Comfort, a Solavellan vampire fic, which uses some BtVS lore? It's not crazy tho!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of either. I think I'd be a little apprehensive.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope. I'm not sure how i'd do that? writing feels like a solitary thing, even when asking for feedback and input.

The closest is a shared timeline/ideas where my OC interact with another person's OC and both of us wrote in the same continuity.

14. what's your all-time favourite ship?

hmmm. Once I've not written for and probably never will, Spike/Buffy.

if it's writing for, I'd say it's still Solavellan.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I think if I want to finish it, I will? I have some old WIPs, but the reason I'm not finishing them is lack of want? Do or do not kinda thing I think.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I've told I've had good pacing. I think I write pretty good smut.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions? I tend to not want want to describe things. I'm also not great at moving characters through space - he went to the door, he looked out etc? I tend to slip into passive voice when writing characters moving around unless it's combat action or sex.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

nope.

"Hello," he said in Spanish

is perfectly valid.

A few short words like endearments - where the speaker would use a specific term in a different language than what's spoke is fine. Items that are specific and not translatable and would typically be borrowed words in a different language are fine too (kimono. computer. kayak)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age

20. favourite fic you've written?

This is SO hard. I was just looking at some old fics I really really love?

but I think right now, I'll pick my newest fic, Passing Through (wol/Tansui, E) because I love it very much and I had so much fun with it.

tagging @myreia @roguelioness @coldshrugs @allaganexarch @bearlytolerant @buttsonthebeach @scionshtola @galadae @wickedwitchofthewilds @redinkofshame @ellstersmash and @kittlesandbugs and anyone else who wants to! tag me!

#ask meme #tumblr meme #writing meme #this was fun!

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oraclekleo · 2 years

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John Jun Suh (NCT) Kinky* Reading

Hello and welcome!

I’m Kleo and I’m here to present some k-pop related tarot readings to you.

Disclaimer:

I would like to state that all these readings have a purely entertainment nature and their purpose is to bring some fun into my and hopefully yours lives. I have never ever met any of the idols / actors / celebrities in my readings, I don’t know them personally. Tarot reading isn’t an exact science and I can never guarantee any of it. Most of it is my intuition mixed with fantasy. Don’t take these readings seriously and don’t base any important decisions on tarot readings only, use your common sense.

If you wish to request a tarot reading, please read the pinned post on my profile first to see the instructions on how to request. I only do readings for idols / actors / celebrities of 18 years of age or older. Requests for readings including younger people will be automatically dismissed. If you feel uncomfortable with these tarot readings, do not engage in reading my posts. Thank you for understanding.

Reading Info:

Rating: 18+

Reading Type: Single - Couple

Requested: Yes - No

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Kinky*

Questions:

Position

Libido

Turn On

Kink

Dirtiest Secret*

Full Name: John Jun Suh

Stage Name: Johnny

Group: NCT

Masterpost: NCT

John Jun Suh

Johnny (NCT)

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Kinky*

Position - Queen of Wands

Johnny is either a soft and cheerful dom or he’s a bratty and teasing sub. It really depends on his lover, what they prefer more. He’s definitely fun in a relationship, never letting his lover forget about him even for a single second. He’s likely to be very chatty and communicative, full of energy and in a good mood.

Libido - XIV Temperance

While Johnny is a beast on the stage, in the bedroom he’s likely to be more soft and adoring. Johnny is likely to seek deep intimacy with his lover, deep emotional and spiritual connection with them. He’s likely to adjust to any kind of dynamic with his lover, balance contradictions, smoothen the rough edges in order to satisfy the needs of both of them and ensure that the experience is overall blissful.

Turn On - Page of Wands

Johnny is likely to feel attracted to someone witty, warm and endearing. He’s likely to fall for someone either younger than him or someone emitting youthful energy and vibes. The sense of humour is very important for Johnny and he will seek for someone he can laugh with freely and often.

Kink - IX The Hermit

Johnny can become a bit greedy about his lover’s attention and sometimes he might pout and whine for so long that his lover agrees on going to some secluded place just the two of them. Johnny sometimes simply needs to have his lover all for himself completely. He might insist on turning the phones off for the time of their stay in that place. Possessive baby.

Dirtiest Secret* - Page of Pentacles

Johnny might not like to admit it but he really wants to be praised and admired by his lover. He needs to feel loved unconditionally and valued by them above everything. If his lover wants to bring Johnny to his knees and make him melt into a puddle, they should whisper him words of love and praises once in a while, compliment him and flatter him even about the most mundane things.

Thank you for reading!

Hit the Like 💖

Comment! 💬

Reblog! 🔁

Follow for more! 💌

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heredis-sanguinis · 3 months

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𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍

- Tagged by: @piltover-sharpshooter & @shimmerbeasts -

-Under 'Read More' for length-

What made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? He's one of my absolute fave League champions. There were hardly any out there and I dipped by finger in that sanguine pool for a moment and got pulled in instantly. To me he has a ton of potential to be fleshed out, that I hope to put down in writing. Riot seems to forget the 'unpolished' gem they have created at times. Especially since he seems to always end up as a joke to people in the community and even the playerbase, and easily gets ignored that way. Or at least in my experiences. The amount of times I've heard jokes like 'discount-ripoff-Lestat/Dracula/vampire/-clown are too.fucking.many...

Is there anything you don’t like to write? Slice of life stuff... I just don't get any motivation to keep anything going in that genre. The same goes for modern verses? I just don't get inspiration for anything on my muses for this either. And not even because I dislike them or anything, it just doesn't mesh with my brain.

Is there anything you really enjoy writing? A n g s t It comes naturally to me, with little effort. And considering how swamped my schedule is, this is a blessing. Though I am not that fuzzed about what genre I'm writing in. I enjoy most things, as long as there is something that moves forward. Development and something to work with to continue that pace and progression are absolutely <3

How do you come up with headcanons? Inspiration from other sources Trying to look behind the basic lore and colour stories, but also look at any potential related characters or other sources and see if anything meshes with Vlad. Like, besides his own lore, I also looked at Noxian lore, Camavoran lore, Viego/Kalista/Hecarim, the Blessed Isles, Ruination, the Darkin and so on.

Do you write in silence or do you play music? I write mostly with something playing in the background. This could be any relatable music to my muses. Or just any of my playlists. A Youtube series I'm watching/listening to. While at work I tend to write down keywords if something comes to mind, and then at home I'll see what comes out of it. (if I remember that I wrote something down)

Do you plan your replies or wing them? I wing them, 99%, mostly. I don't really enjoy planning out every step of muses interactions and relationships. And besides, Vlad is not one to let his life and actions be dictated as easily. He does as he pleases and so too do I write him.

Do you enjoy shipping? I am a shipping whore, but I am very passive in seeking anything in this regard due to really bad experiences where I got accusted of only seeking out interactions for ships, just because I like some characters together. Like, my absolute otp is VladVayne, but I never interacted with any Vayne for the shipping reason. I enjoy their antagonistic dynamic potential a lot too, but yeah stuff happened and now I just tend to not bother to seek interactions. It's a good thing Vlad is not an easy character to ship with, so that saves me a lot of issues as well in this regard.

What’s your alias/name? Cella

Age? 36

Birthday? May 20th

Favourite color? I have several: Black, red, green and purple

Favourite song? This changes whenever it does, But currently it is 'The Skies Above' by The Black Mages

Last movie you watched? I can't remember. It might have been a horror movie when I went to my bestie, sometime last year, to watch 'something'. But I have slept since then, and just don't remember a title.

Last show you watched? I think that has to be Hazbin Hotel? I don't watch a lot of series or shows. Heck, I haven't watched TV properly in a decade now. And rarely go online to watch anything.

Last song you listened to? 'Oblivion' by Masayoshi Soken (Yes, it is another Final Fantasy XIV song)

Favourite food? Listen, I love food, so I don't really have one specific dish or type that I consider a 'fave'. So I'll give a couple: sushi, steak (rare, I need it to bleed), chips (fries for you USA lot), kebab and ice cream (lemon being my absolute fave flavour)

Favourite season? W I N T E R No sun, no spiders (severely arachnophobic), no skin-blistering heat. What's not to love? And if I'm cold, I just. wear. another. layer. of. clothing.

Do you have a Tumblr best friend? Quite a few. Shoutout to @angelicxlly @piltover-sharpshooter @thegoldentigress @weapon-turned-jack These four have been with me through thick and thin for several years now. I love them dearly and they're precious to me. Heck, Monkey-brain-sharpshooter is practically my clone. Literal spiderman-meme stuff there and it gets creepy at times how much we act and think and say alike...

Tagging: You, yes you! I don't know who has been tagged or has done this already. But consider this your tag now~

#[out of blood] - out of character #Dash games #Munday

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system-of-a-feather · 3 months

Note

Thank you for your long and thoughtful response to the ask I sent in earlier. ; w; (I'm the one who sent the super long ask in asking about late stage recovery.)

It's really reassuring to me that there can still be that sense of supporting one another. I couldn't quite put it into words before, but I think that and knowing we've got each other's backs and we can always count on that, is the thing that most scares me to think about the possibility of losing. I wasn't sure that could still exist if we were ever to fuse. I don't wanna emotion dump in your inbox so I'll leave it at that lol but when you were talking about that part I was like... yeah, that's what I most needed to know. I needed to know that our ability to express care for each other when it's needed wouldn't be lost. So the possibility of fusion someday, doesn't feel as scary anymore -- even if it's not the direction we currently want to go.

Yeah no I totally get it cause that was one of the largest things that terrified me about fusion as well. Growing up we really never had a single adult or family member in our life around to console or care for us and through a lot of therapy and work, our system became very much a family first and foremost that we've learned to realize that we have always had in spite our "real physical" family having not been there. By the time we were developing pretty reliable communication, I began really forgetting that my biological family was my ""actual family"" as I always thought of my parts as my dad, siblings, etc whenever topics like that came up and I'd always have to double take say at the idea that "I don't have a brother". (We only have two sisters, but our system has so many parts that feel like brothers to me so whenever I think about that I'm like 'tf i have like 40 brothers') So the idea of no longer being chronically separate parts scared me shitless cause - for the first time in my life - I felt I had a family and so it was really fucking hard to fathom final fusion without coming to this idea that I'd have to feel alone again.

And cause we were raised feeling very alone in our family for most of our life that was an extremely stressful and triggering feeling after having FINALLY earned and recovered a sense of companionship and belonging with the 'people' that have always been with my my whole life that I had just not been able to be fully aware of and in full acknowledgement of.

And of course, I'm not saying that "YOU WILL LOOSE IT" cause obviously *motions to previous post* it's really hasn't turned out that way - just really saying that its such a real and understandable fear to have. In the moment its kind of like imagining a color that doesn't exist and so you try to imagine it with what you know and its just... hard to put together until you start to get closer to that place in time and life.

But yeah, I will say with a full gut and 100% confidence upon all parts, never once - no matter how little I focus on the parts and just look at the whole or identify as a whole singular person - do I ever feel alone or like my parts that I love and care dearly for that love and care dearly for me are ever NOT here. Never once have I ever felt like I was on my own or that I didn't have anyone internally there to protect, care, support, or love me. Even in the most "zoomed out" whole moments, I never for a second loose that warm, caring intimate relationship I've had with all the parts.

And in the case of "I" - "I" means that it is something that every part agrees on in regards to every other part they've interacted with. Riku, Chunn, XIV, Ray, Lucille, Aderis, Evaline, Aya, Eva, Iris etc etc. Most of the times when I say "I" as Fei, its because it is just something I know is a system wide shared consensus and thing we agree on.

It kinda just sometimes feels like a really big big big group hug or like us all bundling up in a really cozy tent or those little rainbow parachute games they used to play in elementary school where everyone just goes under the parachute

It's honestly a really good time. I've had zero regrets and honestly lately, like the past like week straight, I've been mostly just choosing to mainly be in a state of Fei just so I can enjoy life transitions a little better as a whole and keep a wider view on how to meet our system's needs best cause for those sorts of decisions and all, having a wide lens on life and existence helps a lot more.

That said, I can still grab anyone and everyone and go "YOU - YOUR TURN" and what not (which we do for brief periods here or there, particularly in favorites activites like writing / drawing / DnD making with Riku and exercising with XIV and walks with Chunn)

#alter: fei #ask #asks #final fusion #functional multiplicity #dissociative identity disorder #actuallydid

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astrxealis · 1 year

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okay i'm going to an ffxiv unofficial fan event in july this year and there's this wol (character) sticker exchange thing me and lune really want to participate in but 1. we don't really know how to draw yet 2. we don't really have money to commission. so. sobbing

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#I AM REALLY EXCITED THOUGH .....#there is a high chance we will be the youngest there but oh well ?? hoping for other people our age fr #also i think one of my favorite xiv artists who i sometimes forget is filipino bcs they are Huge af is going ... so goddamn. wow #also i've never interacted w xiv ppl irl yet. saw a few people at conquest last year and one person wearing the shirt out Once #but this june's conquest there was More ... AND MY BEST FRIEND. WHO WENT #literally got us stickers despite her just having played so little so far bcs of me and lune BUT SHE TALKED W THE PERSON WHO SOLD THEM AND #AAA SMTH ABOUT HOW 'GNA BRING US NEXT YEAR' SMTH SMTH so idk makes me really happy :((#so that kinda went off-topic but i am wondering how to go about this #i feel like if i asked a friend or another one to draw something (really small) they wld be fine w it but 1. too shy 2. i don't want to ask #something of my friends. like. bro idk if someone asked me for shit i'd be really happy but nervous but mostly like oh ... so u wna have #smth in my writing ..... thatd make me CRY bcs i rarely share my writing w others. and in all my life not much ppl im close to have Asked #for smth like that. but when it comes to others i have no idea At All #if it comes down to it i'm cool w not joining the exchange but ir does sound like fun so i will Try and See still. hmhmhmhm

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farfromdaylight · 7 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @anneapocalypse! i'm lazy (and should be working on nano oops) so i'm not tagging today, but take it if you want.

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

37. (Add 16 if you want to count my old account.)

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

302,601. (Add 37k for my old account.)

I have written approximately 500,000 words of fic that has never seen the light of day. Maybe one day it will.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Final Fantasy, primarily, with a focus on XIV and VII these days. I've written sparsely for other fandoms.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

catching sunbeams - Miraculous Ladybug, Marinette/Adrien

remember me when i die (for you) - FFXIV, Crystal Exarch

forget-me-(not) - FFXIV, Warrior of Light &/ Crystal Exarch

the miniskirt - FFXIV, Warrior of Light/Crystal Exarch (NSFW)

roaming sheep - FFXIV, Warrior of Light/G'raha Tia (NSFW)

It's kind of nice for almost all of my most-kudos'd fic to be in my current fandom. It helps, of course, that I write the most popular ship in it. The highest-kudos'd fics were posted near the height of their respective fandoms, so.

I'm also very pleased roaming sheep has done this well! In my experience, oneshots do better than longfic with regard to kudos.

This got long so here's a cut...

5. do you respond to comments?

Yep! I try to reply to all of them, though if someone leaves multiple comments at a time on a chaptered fic I might just reply to the last one. I'm sure I've missed some along the way but I'm always thrilled to get a comment.

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angst isn't really the right word, but dead end (FFVII, Cid & Vincent) has a very deliberate ending. I tried to write it like a horror movie, where the ending is sometimes ambiguous or otherwise inconclusive.

Or, well. I suppose roaming sheep has an exceptionally angsty ending, LOL.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's gotta be the oath, which is literally wedding fic.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Nope, never.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Any kind, though I'm pretty inexperienced with F/F fics -- I love many F/F couples but I've never been driven to write fic about them, so I'm lacking in that regard.

These days, if I want to write NSFW fic on its own, it's less likely I'll publish it. I'll write it, but I'll keep it to myself. (I wrote a 15k fic earlier this year in this vein.) I've gotten to the point that I generally want the porn to be part of the plot. That said, I do have some ideas for oneshots, so you never know.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

The Fallout/Final Fantasy VII one is the big one. The total fic is almost 350k. I have posted 10k of it. Maybe one day I'll be able to revise it.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not fic, but I've posted some RP before. This was generally not the best idea as it's rare for a RP thread to reach completion, and interests change, etc.

I guess actually blinded by light (FFXIV, WoL/Exarch) counts for this to a degree, because a good chunk of Mel's dialogue was written by @shepherdtostars; I just turned it into fic.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

My OCs, who I've loved for 20 years. They're married, in love, and I have written approximately 2 million words about them.

I don't have a favorite fandom ship.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

stares at beyond the vault... i love you but you're such a behemoth, why did i do this to myself

16. what are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! I can write banter all day long.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Description. I see the scene in my head like a movie, so I forget... that not everyone does... and I have to write the scene I'm seeing LMAO. I'm working on it.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

This is an oddball question. Just write it? Like, either write "they said in (language)" or get an accurate translation of what you want to say.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon, probably. Or Digimon.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Waffling between dead end and blinded by light. dead end was a real stretch for me in a lot of ways and I'm still very proud of it all these years later. blinded by light is just fun, I really like rereading it. heaven can wait (FFXIV, WoL/Exarch, NSFW) falls in this category too, I'm so happy with it.

#ficblogging #meme answers

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squirrelwrangler · 1 year

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Just found your blog by chance and I can see your hatred for the Feanorians, but while I'm a fan of Maedhros (yes, I am, and I still read through all your posts, because even though he's my favourite; my only acceptable characterization of him is that of an anti-hero at first that witnesses a fall and turns into a villain at the end. He's antagonistic, prideful, and manipulative even at his best, and I don't read his best moments as done out of goodwill. He's Machiavellian to me.) Maglor is much more lionized by the fandom. Maedhros is accepted as problematic, and it's only the loud minority who seems to turn him into a heroic figure, but Jesus are Maglor's fans annoying. Him aDoPtInG the twins is not something worth praising, nor is his last conversation with Maedhros. He's a delusional prick who only tries to gain some self-awareness when it's too late, only for it to be wishful thinking and extreme cognitive dissonance. Yet go on any post or YouTube video, and you'll see the majority mentioning him as a favourite of theirs because "he's kind and remorseful because he adopts the twins!" Yes, adopts them by giving them freaking Stockholm syndrome! It's fucking disgusting honestly.

AHEM. Back in..2003/4 that first year after I read the Silm, I was more sympathetic to Maglor and the Kidnap Family aspect of the story was mroe appealing, but even back then I wasn't totally on board with it or ignoring how messed-up it was, and I hated even the whiff of victim-blaming or negativity towards both Elwing and Eärendil. My tolerance for Maglor and the framing of the twins' abduction lessened until it fell off a cliff. Because it wasn't instant dislike like Fëanor (and Maedhros was always apathetic disinterest to dislike, I would legit forget he was a character in the Silm sometimes), I try to keep a kernel of grace for his misguided fans ;p. More seriously, my disdain and avoidance of the serious Maglor and Maedhros fandom lionization alternates between which one irks me more at the moment, aka which pierces the Girdle. Both via fanart annoy me, but Maglor moreso in fics because I have less than zero interest in the very popular and omnipresent fics that Maedhros dominates. And Maedhros fanart is more common when his supposed hotness feels like fandom gaslighting. But the glorious thing about avoiding interacting with 99% of the Silm and wider Tolkien fandom unless they come to my blog is that said annoyed rants about the Fëanorians petered off. (Now if only I could expunge my XIV feed from Emet Selch and that fandom's distressing widespread embrace of various war crimes favs; it's worse than GoT/House of the Dragon)

One day I'll write the story of my OC, Maedhros's husband and his eventual divorce, because the character concept is one I'm as fond of as Meril and through him it gives me the single hook to make Maedhros personally interesting. Aside from that, Maglor exists for me for that one story about him manipulating his brothers and choking them and how he appears in the Bór sub-series as the Fëanorian rightfully identified as most dangerous and most deluded by his self-pity. And the Nandor rescue squad saving the twins.

#replies #really not nice to the fëanorians #they deserve my scorn

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ultyso · 1 year

Text

So my friend let us come over to try the XVI demo on their PS5.

Overall I’d give it a 6/10. Not something I’d immediately rush to buy a PS5 for. But if I did own a PS5 already, I wouldn’t object to buying the game.

Here’s my thoughts included below. Forewarning this point forwards is spoiler territory:

So played the demo and there are some things I liked and some things that’d prob be better the more I’d get to play. But from just the Demo, it just didn’t really hype me up as much as it did for others. I’m not really into medieval type games, which prob is a major factor. But, I didn’t want this to deter me so tried to give this a fighting chance by going in with an open mind.

For those who may not know, I’ve played many FF. Not every single one out there but to give some info on what I have if it means anything for you: VI, VII series, VIII, IX, X series, XII partly, XIII series, XIV slightly, XV

The first Eikon fight, reminded me of Panzer Dragoon so thought that was kind of neat. Starting the game off with fighting Ifrit just had me thinking of how XV had started with an Ifrit as well. I figured after this fight it would move back to the past afterword, but it didn’t do it as quickly. I did like the whole fight, found it interesting. ^^

The UI is nice and simple. I like how it’s all formatted, easy to pick up and learn. Nothing cluttered.

For gameplay, this is probably the strongest point it has. It feels like an enhanced gameplay of XV, making it much better. I like all the different skills you can acquire (based on what I saw for the Eikon challenge mode I played after.) I honestly like the most how the dodging is in the game. It’s such a simple thing, but idk it just moved so smoothly, I liked it.

Not having to hit any buttons to pick up items was probably the best thing to! Biggest grievance with XV with the pick up/interact and jump being same button was so annoying.

I know everyone said it was super lax but the scene with Bernadictka and Titan dude still made me uncomfortable as hell 😂

I do find the ‘oh we must go and do this important task but first do this random side quest’ so you can learn further fight mechanics, felt a bit wonky and could have flown more seamlessly a different way. Just kinda took me out. I liked Wade he amused me. The marlboro fight was interesting, fairly simple, I liked how they did the QTE events but I felt it dragged on longer than needed to be, like health a little too high. So sometimes the fighting got boring.

I wish the environments were less dull looking. Everything is so grey. I hope this is not so much the further in you go. The only times it looked visually very pretty were the Eikon fights.

As for the characters, I’m not really feeling anyone. honestly a lot just def give generic NPC vibes. None really made me care about them a whole lot. Except Torgal. I loved the furry baby. Clive not really anything omg about him. He’s typical duty bound character. He’s just ok. The dad tho lookin nice 👀👀 well till they killed him off right in front of poor Joshua, poor kid gonna have major trauma. I was sad they killed him off already. This whole scene just like XV. betrayal and killing the dad part. Uhm the wife is an asshole, scumbag I forget her name. Joshua is alright. He’s just trying his best. His voices sounds weird to me sometimes when it gets all cracky, but I can tolerate it. This other dude I forget the name of just looks like Clive with a slight different hair cut. Also wtf my sis wasn’t kidding with her issues with there being no diversity to the designs. Everyone looking like generic white dudes lmao.

The map looks so much like how Stranger of Paradise is. Which made me a little eh. Hope we’ll be able to manually travel more than what was given.

Poor Joshua for getting all beat up by Ifrit like that was so not okay 😤 Poor kid. If anything with Joshua, I just feel bad for the mess this kid has had to go through already.

When I got to the thanks for playing, I was all ‘that’s it?’ So it was engaging enough I wanted to continue playing despite some of the issues I had. Hoping that a lot of what I was meh of will be improved upon later as you’ll get to know characters more and move to new places.

Uhm those were main things I remember. So some good and bad but a lot of things left me lackluster. It is pretty much what I expected I’d feel based on my thoughts from the trailers, they didn’t change much. My main thought was that like Stranger of Paradise, the gameplay would be more engaging than story, which it is too for XVI for me. I personally wouldn’t call this game the pinnacle of Final Fantasy. It doesn’t scream the best of the best, at least just from demo standpoint. Thoughts could change the more that is played beyond.

I’m not super hooked. If I had a PS5 I’d buy the game. It’s not a game that I’d be all “I need to buy a PS5 stat” I can wait it out. It’s overall just an OK game. Of course, these are just my opinions. Everyone else is clearly ok to like it lmao.

#ffxvi spoilers #FFXVI Demo Spoilers #FFXVI #FFXVI Demo #Final Fantasy #Final Fantasy XVI #Spoilers #UltySo Talks #Long post

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