#i dont know my life direction. i dont know what to do after graduation. i dont know. im scared ill not be able to hold a job | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jaemified · 4 months

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last christmas | part 2

“this year, to save me from tears ; ill give it to someone special.”

❆ pairing ; strangers to ?? park gunwook x fem reader

❆ genre ; fluff, slight drama +(ft taesan/jaehyun of bnd and yunjin of lsrfm ^^)

❆ warnings ; swearing, and kinda toxic relationships

❆ wordcount ; 2.4k

❆ synopsis ; beginning your second year of college and you feel youve hit rock bottom. on your own after your ex kicked you out, and taking on a seasonal job at a christmas shop to pay off student loans? everythings gone to shit. but then, you see him for the first time. and you realize there really was a little light in the darkness — your someone special.

♡ kona speaks ! - vaguely follows the plot of the film last christmas (2 part story)

read below the cut !

you cant say you were all to proud of yourself now.

sure, you were a pretty incredible student by high school graduation, with a 3.9 gpa and all (not to mention making it to seoul national university with your beloved boyfriend).

but, that was a year ago.

who wouldve thought it was possible for your life to go so far downhill, in just a span of roughly over 12 months?

your parents had found a better job opportunity in london, but your mom wanted you and your brother to be nearby.

meaning doing so without running it by you of course, which led to her enrolling you into imperial college as a foreign transfer student.

your boyfriend was pretty upset, but nevertheless, followed you despite your best efforts telling him not to (which meant him forfeiting his scholarship at snu).

once your family first heard he would follow suit to london, they gave you an ultimatum. and stupidly, you chose love over family.

they never approved of him anyway.

it was fine for the meanwhile.

at least until you broke up, and he decided to place the blame on you.

it was your flat you bought with your own money anyway. what did he ever do for you? how dare he kick you out of your own home!

you watched while gyuvin pulled your luggage out the closet, pushing it towards you.

“what the hell are you doing!” you exclaimed as he began to pull your clothes off hangers and throw them towards your direction.

“helping you leave.” he muttered.

“what did i even do? you just wake up one day and decide its my fault you followed me to another continent despite me saying you shouldnt? i told you not to leave your dreams behind, and you chose to ignore me!”

“well maybe you didnt try hard enough! i just know that i dont feel the same about you now as i did then.”

“so thats it?” you scoffed. “you realize this is my apartment? i pay the rent. you just practically live here for free. you cant just kick me out of my own home!”

he only ignored you and shoved piles upon piles of clothing into 2 separate suitcases, before gently escorting you to the door.

“gyuvin. gyuv! kim gyuvin! you cant just leave me here!” you begged.

“im sorry y/n. but its over. maybe if you hadnt taken all that mattered to me we couldve worked out.” gyuvin spoke before slowly closing the door, leaving you out in the cold wearing only pajamas.

“what the fuck am i supposed to do now..” you whispered to yourself, thinking of the only possible places to go.

sure your number of options was minimal, but you began with the only person you thought you could count on anyway.

“what the hell are you doing here?” taesan expressed in shock while he stared at you standing at his front door.

“need somewhere to crash.. surprise?” you shrugged jokingly, trying to lighten the mood as you and your brother werent on the brightest terms.

“goodbye y/n.” he sighed as he turned to lock you out.

“han taesan you let me in this instant! you cant just leave me to die in the middle winter!” you exclaimed, stepping through the door frame so it couldnt close.

“wheres gyuvin?” he scoffed. “i mean, youre the one who left me with mom and dad to buy a house for him anyway.”

“we broke up. blamed me and said i was the reason he lost everything in seoul or whatever. and he still kicked me out of MY home.”

taesan let out a heavy breath, looking around before pushing the door out more for you to walk through.

“..you mean it?” you pondered hesitantly.

“i suppose. i know we warned you about him and all, but youre still my baby sister.” he half heartedly grinned, pointing his head in the direction of his hallway as a gesture for you to come in.

you knew he was still mad at you despite not showing it, but knowing your brother, hes still someone who you could rely on in any situation.

“yeah. and uh- just a heads up, i still live with jaehyun and leehan, plus we dont have an extra room so.. we’ll just figure it out later.”

“thank you.”

a week later and you were doing better than before. though it wasnt easy to forget the incident, you still managed with the new living situation and all.

you woke up bright and early the following morning for work, ready to sell christmas ornaments for the rest of your life under your boss, huh yunjin, as you were now on break from school.

considering jaehyuns bed wasnt all too comfortable, you still slept pretty well. youre grateful he took the couch for you during that first week. ‘maybe ill get him something as a thank you.’

“what are you doing up so early?” taesan asked, holding off on the toast he was about to eat as he watched you rush downstairs.

“got work. not like dads willing to pay student loans anymore right?”

“the christmas shop, still?” jaehyun asked from his seat on the couch.”

“cant have a full time job as a full time student. it just worked out while im on christmas break.”

your brother nudged you in your stomach, motioning for you to thank his friend for his deed.

“-oh and thanks for taking the couch. i owe you. if you want food or anything ill cover the cost and pick it up in return.” you continued.

“its fine. i get it, the last few days were rough. dont worry about it.” he smiled.

after a quick 10ish (or so) minute walk to the street side store you worked at, you realized you were about 5 minutes past the time you were meant to clock in for your shift.

walking into the store, it was no surprise it was already crowded by 8:36am seeing as christmas was 2 weeks away now.

“y/n! y/n get over here! where is your uniform?” yunjin questioned as more of a whisper yell.

before you got the chance to reply, she quickly cut you off and said, “nevermind that. just please hurry to change and come help me with all these people!”

you wave off her dismissive behavior, and speed walk to the bathroom, making sure to pass the lockers to grab your uniform on the way.

“i forgot how itchy this was..” you grumble as you slip on the ugly elf costume yet again before leaving to the front desk.

“welcome in! please let us know if theres anything you need help with!” yunjin smiled as another person walks through the door, putting on her customer service voice.

“guess you dont need me anymore?” you asked jokingly, noticing there was no one within a 10 foot distance of the check out line.

“why must you take so long to change? i only had enough time to help half those people. the other half left after mr smith came in to return all the ornaments he broke again. he really knows how to hold up a line.” she sighed, moving in the direction of a huge box of broken material.

“you cant keep letting them return damaged product. we are losing enough money as is, santa.” you gestured to her new character change yet again as you realize where a good chunk of the budget went. “what was wrong with the reindeer costume?”

“it didnt make it clear that im the owner. the shop is called santas workshop dont you know? cant call it santas workshop if theres no santa.”

you laughed brightly at yunjin while she picked up the box to bring it to the back, just as another person walked in.

“welcome in!-” you call out, before cutting yourself off as you caught a glimpse of his face.

he was pretty gorgeous, you couldnt lie. from what you noticed, he had shortish black hair and big eyes to compliment his soft lips (not to mention his build was pretty insane too. he definitely works out).

the very same guy who caught your attention came to you shortly after, seeking some assistance on picking a gift, so you were happy to comply.

“im not sure what she’d like. its hard shopping for a 14 year old.” he said.

“what’s your relation to her? just like so i know how close you are so its easier to help.”

“my younger cousin. we arent that close, but its our first family gathering in a while and my mom wants me to get something for everyone. but shes always been.. far from an open book. so im lost”

you thought long and hard about what your cousins around that age like, before coming to a final decision.

you attempt to reach for the legos, but you almost fall over as it was just barely out of reach, sitting on one of the higher shelves.

carefully, he steadies you by holding your arm and reaches to grab the item you were aiming at.

“this?” the guy questions as he hands you the orchid lego set.

“yeah! im not sure if it suites her or anything but you cant go wrong with legos. the price isnt too bad and its suitable for anyone at any age for the most part.” you shrugged.

“that actually.. makes perfect sense. youre really good at your job, no? thank you.”

“no worries. if theres anything else i could help you with, weve got a new selection of stuffed animals your girlfriend might like.” you spoke like it was nothing, acting as if you werent just trying to get information.

“i actually.. dont..i don’t have a girlfriend.” he chuckled awkwardly as he brought up a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“oh really? im surprised someone like you doesnt have a pretty girl on your arm.” you said nonchalantly while you attempted to hide your smile (as if you were going to make a move).

“oh stop!” he waved off when you pointed out how red his ears were getting, assuming you only were trying to boast his ego (hes so unaware)((please get the hint)).

you walk back with him to the register so he could pay after realizing there wasnt much more he needed. “that’ll be 45 charged to your card.” you smiled.

“thank you, ms..?” trailing off as he notices he never actually got your name.

“han. y/n han. glad to be of assistance.”

“oh and- one more thing?”

“sure, what else?”

“what time does the store close?”

“10 at night. extended business hours every saturday.”

“surely youre joking? theres no one else here but you and the owner! thats in like 13 hours. youre working a 14 hour shift?”

“yeah but i get paid way extra so its fine, i really do need it. and yeah we are beyond understaffed but its alright.” you laugh, masking your exhaustion and dread with a bit of your lighthearted energy.

“really? i could never, must be so tiring.”

“it is, beyond imagination. but we do what we can.”

“get home safely then alright? its scary leaving that late especially considering the predators go after pretty ladies.”

“youre a tricky one arent you! how dare you mask that as an attempt to flirt.” you gasp playfully, “ill be fine, its not that far of a walk.”

“walk? youre not really walking home are you?” “well yeah, its not like i can drive when i dont have a car myself.”

“by any chance, might you need-”

“y/n! leave the poor man alone! i need you to stock the shelves in the ornaments section!” yunjin calls out from the storage room and interrupting the conversation.

“ill get to it.” you call back.

“well, i should get going then. it really was lovely meeting you.” he smiles.

“thank you, take care!” you reply, waving as he leaves.

it only hit you many hours later (quite literally an hour before you clock out) that you never got his name, and you regret it oh so much!

even yunjin felt pity for you, multitasking and listening to you ramble about the mysterious man despite all the work she had going on whilst you both sat in her office seeing as there were no customers beyond 9:30pm.

“why cant we close early if theres no one coming past a certain time? its not like anyone needs to be christmas shopping at.. 9:49 at night.”

“its just in case theres anyone who needs something, we cant miss a chance to make more money when we’re low on rent money.” she reminded.

“its only 11 minutes though.”

“and where do you have to be in 11 minutes? you live with your brother and his two roommates with no boyfriend and instead worry about a man you just met.”

“ouch, you need to go out more.”

“y/n you know i love you but i have no time for that nonsense. i need to have fun, yes, but money is essential. clubbing and drinking does not get you there, we both know that.”

finally, the dreaded 11 minutes were up and it was time to lock up after a crazy long shift. though, you cant say you were looking forward to walking home after standing in heels all day.

it was all most as if your prayers were answered (or just by a really strange coincidence(?)) that someone on a motorcycle stopped in front of you as you crossing the street.

“heard you needed a ride?” the guy from earlier said as he took off his helmet.

“what are you doing here? its late out.” you replied, acting calm as if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest.

“cant leave you to walk alone in the dark, can i, pretty lady?”

“youre smart, ill give you that.” you smile when you feel your cheeks go hot.

“ill take you home. come on.”

maybe it wasnt the best idea to give a stranger your address, but he seemed nice enough, and pretty trustworthy to say the least.

you sat behind him as he drove through the streets, with your arms wrapped around his waist, your chest flush against his back as you wore the helmet he let you borrow.

he was so naturally warm you felt his body heat through the sweater he wore, thankfully keeping you from being to cold.

soon enough you were home, and he was walking you up to the front door.

“thank you for today even if it wasnt all that much, i had a lot of fun. you made my work day more.. bearable.” you smiled.

“of course, you can always call if you need a ride or anything. dont want you getting sick when its storm season.” he reminded before slipping you a postcard with his number on it.

“id love to get to know you more, but i just broke up with my boyfriend last week.. give me some time?”

sure you technically were the one who found him attractive first but, you never actually thought about initiating something more.

he smiled without a second thought, nodding his head slightly. “of course, i understand. just know ill be here, waiting.”

“wait! i never got your name?”

“ill see you later y/n!” he called out as he left, driving off in the opposite direction.

you sighed and unlocked the door with the spare key leehan gave you, and notice him sitting next to jaehyun when you walked in.

“you have a boyfriend and you didnt tell me? how could you! i thought we were friends.” leehan expressed dramatically from the couch as you took off your shoes at the door.

“not a boyfriend, just a friend. why were you even- whatever. wheres taesan?”

“in the bathroom.”

“thanks. uh- jaehyun is it okay if i change in your room since i left my clothes there?”

“go ahead.” he reassured. “oh! also, by the time you come back the pizza we ordered should be here too.”

you close the door behind you and pull out the index card from earlier to save the number as a contact. however, you couldnt help but smile as you read what it said below.

“your personal uber when you need it! +44 28xxx0xx29 -xoxo gunwook park :)”

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vtuberconfessions · 2 months

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I know saying this will probably get me attacked, so that's why I've gone anon.

Ever since the Selen incident, fans have been attacking each other and the livers. Magically, out of nowhere!! Drama and rumors and shit about the livers start to appear!! Like, you guys were willing to look past it before, now you're latching onto it like it's your last dying breath?

Like the livers' past lives. It's in the past, leave it alone. Okay, some things arent forgiven as easy but now you bring it up to smack them in the face with it. You guys weren't causing such an issue back then. Now when someone comes along, spouting whatever they want, you doubt them almost instantly.

Everyone is like, "why can't they leave? It's so simple to regain all your followers and stuff"

Do you ever think Nijisanji manipulates them into staying? Saying, "you will never get the same amount of followers unless you stay" or bargaining with them. That can totally happen. They mentally abused Selen, it's possible they do it with the other livers too. Maybe theyre too scared to venture out of the company.

That's their job by the way. That's how they get money. Nijisanji practically provided everything to them, so why wouldn't they take that? Benefits. Easy and fun. Everyone is like, "oh, but if i were them, I would NEVERRR". Dude. Money runs the world, I'm sorry to burst your bubble. Sometimes, things like this test your morals and your needs and it's hard to decide. "They have so much money though" that shit runs out QUICK. Bills, taxes, buying food, insurance + car insurance, etc. Maybe they're afraid of losing it all.

That's something they're used to. Imagine, ever since this exploded, you turn your life upside down because of an incident you probably had no clue about. Maybe they did know. We don't know. What if they decide to graduate? A lot of graduates at once? Obviously nijisanji would never, probably squeezing them out one by one. Clinging onto them for dear life. I'm sure the livers feel upset for what happened, but what can they do in particular? Quit the company? I suppose, but like I stated before, it's ot as easy as you guys make it. Maybe they are planning to graduate soon, but too scared of what's happening to do so. Their image is fragile, if someone says something and others believe them, it spreads like a wildfire. Like for example, Scarle. She liked that one comment (probably thought it was funny or she even agreed), it got blown up, and they struck her down immediately. People spread that screenshot, and I'm sure Scarle DID NOT want that in fear of what the company would do, and boom. Nijisanji could also totally plant the worse kinds of shit onto people. They could be lying about anything and everything. Leaving little crumbs for you guys to eat up. What can I say, drama also gets more views, unfortunately.

Okay, this will probably get some backlash. Doki. Listen, I think shes cool, not a huge die hard fan, but her fans? Oh my god they are willing to do ANYTHING. Some of them probably weren't her fans until recently. They hound after everyone and anyone. Maybe that wasn't Doki's intentions, maybe they were, but who the hell knows anymore? I dont know her personally, you dont know her personally, no one knows anyone personally. She seems sweet, directing her anger towards the COMPANY, so why are you directing it to the LIVERS as well? because they said something about the LIVERS bullying her? Why would they even admit that? Seems kinda shady. They wouldnt have never admitted that, unless they had some sort of motive, which they probably did. Nijisanji is the one with the strings, and the livers are their puppets, sadly. (Ahem the explanation video with Vox and Ike and elira and everyone. They purposely made them do it knowing they were the most popular, and hey, what can losing a couple thousand of followers do? they are still one of the top ones, still can get some money out of them! Maybe using them will make OUR image look better! It didnt. Or maybe that wasnt their goal. Who knows?) Its just ever since we found out what happened, I've been keeping my distance from Doki and the other livers as well. Because everything seems skeptical, theres so much to believe and not to believe. There isn't enough information. Doki might be using her followers as an advantage? Taking down the branch (not niji jp as well because they did nothing wrong) also hurts the livers too. Maybe the livers secretly want that to happen. I'm sure some don't, because there goes the money. Everything revolves around money. You can't convince me someone without money isnt happy. I know that seems kinda bullshit, but what can I say?

It just pisses me off how people are so quick to turn against each other and their so called "oshis", only believing one side of the story over the other. And the people who hate or dislike certain livers, are EATING THIS UP. EXPOSE, EXPOSE, EXPOSE! This is like a field day with them, and I'll be damned if they're arent taking total advantage over it. I see you mfs. For example, Luca's ex? She obviously dislikes (probably despises) Luca, and that's why she came out and said what she said. With everything that's happening, everyone doubting each other, she did what she did. Why wouldnt she? All the attention on her, making Luca lose a bit of followers out of spite, making the lucubs turn against each other, maybe some sort of fame for herself. I particularly didn't believe her for a second, because to me she seemed a bit mentally... challenged.

I know Doki is the most "relatable" in a sense, I dont know a specific word for it, like, you guys feel the need to protect her, and willing to do anything. "She almost killed herself, we believe her over anyone else!" Type of attitude. All I'm trying to say is to keep an open mind. That everything might not be what it seems to be.

Sorry for the long rant, I really needed to get that out ^-^"

#indievtubers #dokibird #vtuber #vtubers #selen's termination #nijisanji #nijisanji en #nijisanji english #niji en #nijien #anycolor #anycolor inc #vtuber confessions #ex niji #exniji

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indouloureux · 2 years

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I dont know if this would be too specific of a request so please ignore if it is but would you be able to do joe or eddie comforting reader after they end a really toxic friendship?

thank you for requesting! ❤️

eddie sets the glass of water in front of you, the cold drops falling onto the table, and you mentally tell him to put on a coaster but you don't find it in yourself to actually say it as you hear him sigh, the couch dipping from his heavy drop beside you.

"so what's up?" his voice is questioning, tilts into the curious direction. your finger runs through the back of your earlobe to push nothing away. eddie's hand stalls on your shoulder for an awaiting comfort.

"remember, uh, carol?" you clear your throat. "the one that used to hang out with steve harrington? she and her boyfriend slut shamed nancy wheeler and spray painted that- thing- remember?"

"yeah?" eddie removes his hovering hand, lets it stay still on his lap. "yeah, um. i do. i used to go to class with her until she graduated last year."

you blink rapidly. "yes! well, um, we're not friends anymore."

he leans back, palms swiping across his knees as he processes the information he doesn't even need but kind of wants to hear. "what happened?"

"remember when i drove you to your band practice last week?" he nods. "well- she wasn't really fond of you. i don't even know why she's still here in hawkins but, she told the others and they said that i shouldn't even be hanging out with you."

"what- what did you say?"

"that they don't get to tell me who i get to hang out with," you scratch your eyebrow. "so, yeah, i guess i got nancy wheeler-ed."

eddie's eyes widened. "they spray painted on the marquee again?"

"yeah. except this time i'm not a slut. so i guess that's a plus point." you laugh sardonically. "anyway i- i don't even know why i came to you. i just, i need to talk about it, i guess? because i think i made a mistake..."

"what, breaking up with them?" he shifts closer to you. "you didn't make a mistake. that actually was a pretty fucking wise decision that you did. it's far from a mistake."

you take the glass of water from the table, a wet ring left behind as you take a sip. "when i started high school, eddie, i didn't really have any friends," you trace the lips of the glass. "they took me in and- they became my 'friends'. they made me feel like i was known, or i was seen because i was with them. but the thing is, they tried changing me. i was happy being seen as who i was but they wanted me to be like them."

eddie furrows his eyebrows, leans closer to listen carefully at each word. "and, i don't know? i guess i kind of feel like i used them just so i would feel important at least once in my life before all of this is over. but they never really cared, you know? they only ever really cared about themselves. and they got mad that i didn't want to be this- this jackass of a daddy's girl. and i did want them to be my friends, hoping maybe they'd change—"

"but they didn't," he takes the glass from you and sets it on the table. "so you feel guilty for using them? but, they're assholes. they were using you, too. they wanted to make their weird bitch pack even bigger — sorry i called them a bitch."

"it's okay," you chuckle. "they- they are a bitch. i guess maybe the reason why i feel like i made a mistake is because i don't have any more friends. they were the only ones i ever really had."

eddie stays silent for a bit. and with you not looking in his direction, you hear the couch squeak and see him kneel in front of you, hands joint together in the space between his knees, looking up at you through his small eyelashes.

"i can be your friend," he shrugs. "it has it's cons though. like, you're no longer popular but you're a freak," he lifts one finger, then another with his other hand tapping on them. "you'll probably get shit on by them a lot. you'll have to sit lunch with us. and your reputation is forever damaged."

you grin. "i think i can manage that."

reblogs and feedback are appreciated <3

#eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson #fluff #joseph quinn #joseph quinn blurb #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn x y/n #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn fanfiction

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nanaloco · 1 year

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Jaemin as your brother who’s 3 years older than you

Hello my lovelies, I took a short break but I’m back and tackling all your requests, don’t be afraid to send me more but I think as we all know atp I can get very carried away with requests 😭😭😭

Anon I hope you enjoy this one, I never really know what to write with members as your brother but I tried my best 😭😭🤍

Warnings: jaemin is a really good big brother

Genre: bigbrother!jaemin

He’s a really good older brother, 100%

He takes the role of being your older brother very seriously,

Talking the responsibility of taking care of you and setting a good example for you (sometimes)

Someone’s bullying you? Fight with your friends? Bring them he says

He’s not going to fight them or anything, but try to resolve the issues between the two of you, or if necessary, get your school to listen to you by dragging you to the principals office

He’d literally hide a body for you

If you’ve ever done something, he’d be the first person you’d call

Even if he can’t do anything, his reassuring words would be worth it

Type of sibling to just walk into your room just to annoy you

You’d just be peacefully scrolling on tiktok

Then this guy walks in and starts singing to you or pinching your cheeks

If he ever goes out with his friends to get food, without a doubt, you’ll receive a ‘do you want anything’ text

You’d go to the kitchen at 3am and find him there and you’d both start laughing

He’ll find out something you like and keep buying it for you until you’re sick of it *lol*

Once you two are in college/university

He’d make sure to steer you down the right direction, all the dos and donts

Help you move into your dorm, choosing the best student plan for you (how you pay off your student dept), just in general helping with your student finances as he’s good with money

Can’t cook in uni? He can so you’re sorted

When you first move into your apartment, you’ve got only 2 things in your fridge and that’s 2 large lunch boxes, one from your carer/close relative, the other from Jaemin

By the time you get to uni, if he’s done a standard course, he’d probably be graduating the year after, so he’d try to make all the memories while he’s still there

Forcing you to come with him and his friends to the football games

Even if he nor any of his friends played

Introduce the professors to you during the first week you’re on campus

Going to first year parties to embarrass you

Overall, he’d be very present in your life, and you don’t know how you could do it all without him, he has (many) goofy moments, but he really steps up to being your older brother, taking care of you

——————————————————-

Thank you for reading ily guys <3

Anon thank you for requesting <33

#nanaloco #nct dream fluff #na jaemin #jaemin older brother #nct brother #jaemin as your older brother #jaemin #jaemin nct #nct jaemin #nct dream

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icemankazansky · 2 years

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Ice's death in tgm left me in a weird place mentally too. I have zero complaints with the movie itself. Its my own feelings Im trying to untangle - to see ice die from the thing that's made val so sick. It was a respectful send off for the character but it also makes me feel some kind of way considering val's situation. I also wanted to ask you if you dont mind since youve been a val fan longer, what according to you are the most striking things youve observed about him?

I understand completely. It's ... I don't know, maybe it was cathartic for him. I wonder what Jack and Mercedes felt, fake attending their own father's funeral after he fake dies from the thing that actually made him so sick and has completely altered his life ... Who knows, maybe they're all more emotionally well-adjust than we are.

Oh, Val. Come with me, I have a feeling this is going to be a long one.

The Artist

First off: I believe Val Kilmer is the most underrated actor of his generation. And I'm not alone in thinking that. While doing research for my thesis, I came across a number of people in the industry who describe him exactly that way. I also read an extremely unkind article that posited him as "the failed Tom Cruise," and in addition to just being kind of ugly, it kind of misses the point of Val altogether. Val Kilmer never wanted to be a movie star. Val wanted to be an actor. From his days at Juilliard and decades after that, Val considered acting to be a serious art, and what he wanted as a professional was to explore that art and challenge himself. He wanted to do Hamlet. (And he did, in 1988 at the Colorado Shakespeare Festival. But that was his goal since he was a teenager, when he started pursuing acting formally.)

Some people he has worked with have called him difficult, but at the center of these accusations, I read Val trying to do his job well. The directors of Top Secret!, Val's first film role, complained that he asked them for more direction, and that, "this really isn't that kind of movie." Val was 23 years old. He had just graduated from Juilliard a few years earlier. He was doing what he was taught to do, and he was trying to do it well. As an actor, expecting a director to direct you seems ... like what their job is? IDK. In the '80s and '90s, he got cast in some leading man type roles because he looks like that, but if you look at his filmography, he's also choosing smaller, meatier or more complicated roles, or roles that let him work with people he wanted to work with. At the same time as he was playing Batman in the highest grossing movie of 1995, he was shooting Heat because he wanted to work with Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino. (When they approached him for the role, they told him they couldn't pay him much above day rate, what can we do to keep you? and he was going to do the movie anyway because he wanted to work with the cast and crew, but he asked, "Can I be on the poster?" and that is an answer to a question that you didn't ask, but that is why Chris Shiherlis is so large on the Heat poster.)

Curious

This is related, but Val has an insatiable curiosity. He is always trying to learn new things, not only about acting, but about other forms of art, about the world around him. There are many stories of Val trying to learn from his colleagues on movie sets; he annoyed Sam Shepherd enough with his questions on the set of Thunderheart that Sam basically told him to fuck off, but he also spent a lot of time speaking to Chief Ted Thin Elk, less about acting and more about his life experience and his experience as an Indigenous person, something Val has a lot of curiosity about because he was told his whole life that his paternal grandmother was full Native, but that was really as much as he'd been told. (I think that probably helped him get into Ray Levoi's shoes, and his performance in that film is one of his subtlest, so much said with expressions or posture or the way he holds the silence... ugh, don't get me started, Ray.)

And his curiosity has shaped his life and his career. He wanted to explore what he could do with his voice, and eventually found he was able to mimic Jim Morrison's voice so well that members of the band couldn't tell Morrison's tracks from Val's. In The Doors, he sang live on film, take after take. That's ... it's a little insane, in a very Val Kilmer kind of way. When he lost his voice, he started discovering ways he could act without it, and he started new ventures with other kinds of art.

Spiritual / Loving

Val's faith is an important part of his life. I admit to not knowing much about Christian Science, but I have read and heard Val talking about how he understands faith and his relationship with the world, and the word that he uses is Love. He seems to genuinely have an incredible relationship with his children. He's just constantly delighted by them, and he loves them so, so much. And I think that he views the whole world with an open heart, and that he loves more than just his family or his work or his faith: He loves the wonders of nature, and animals, and he loves art and the whole world, really. He has a sense of childlike wonder that is unexpected and refreshing in the hard, cynical world we live in. He finds beauty and fun and hope in so many things. In his memoir, Val quotes his then-wife Joanne Whalley as saying, "You have a crush on everything." And he admits that he does. And you get that sense from him. When I went to meet with him, he was incredibly kind and caring and curious and warm. He didn't have to meet with me. He agreed to for his own reasons. After he greeted me, he asked me why I wrote the book, why him, and when I explained it to him, he seemed genuinely touched. I thanked him for getting me through a rough time in my life, and he took my hand in his and squeezed it, and just inclined his head. This was after he'd gotten sick, but before he got the stoma, so he could speak, but I could tell it was difficult, and I imagine now that it was probably painful. His handler has asked me to bring several copies of the book, and I did, and I had one for Val, which he accepted very graciously, and the rest I was going to give to his handler because she hadn't said what she wanted them for, but she said no, keep those, and Val insisted on signing them all. He had a little vase with a yellow rose in it in his room, and he insisted on signing the vase for me, as well, and giving me both the vase and the rose because, "Women should have flowers." And he made sure we got a picture together, which I hadn't even thought of, because it was just a private meeting, like, in his space, but he wanted to give me that. I'm an empath, and I pick up on people's emotions really, really easily, and at no point did I ever get anything from him that wasn't warm and caring. He had never met me before. He only knew I existed for a few months. But he went out of his way to be kind to me, to make me feel heard and appreciated. That is a rare thing.

#asks answered #tgm spoilers #val kilmer #personal #the kilmer cure

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singwhenyoucantspeak · 2 months

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had a dream about a girl i went to school with (like all of school actually. we were in school together from 2nd grade through college graduation in the same major program). have not thought about her in a long time but for a while she was the person i had known the longest in my whole life.

we were only friends in 4th and 5th grade really. it's always disconcerting when i remember she exists. so odd to be friends and then not. not even bc of a falling out or disliking eachother but just bc we ended up in different social groups at middle school our lives went in different directions. sometimes i wonder if she even remembers that we used to be friends. if she even thinks about the fact that we were regular figures in eachothers lives for 15 years straight, something i didnt have with anyone else.

it's no longer true, that i've known her the longest, bc after college graduation i never saw her again. but something about having shared our entire childhoods and young adult lives but completely from a distance.

in college we used to get put together for group projects because our last names are next to each other in the alphabet. we mostly acted like we didnt know each other except for a comment here and there, which of course confused our group mates who really had no idea we knew each other and never saw us interact in class.

Like many of my closest childhood friends, i think i was probably always just a little in love with her as much as i was envious of her and her popularity. i never in a million years would have wanted to be friends with the people she hung out with, but i still wanted to hang out with her. did i ever say or do anything about that though? of course not.

I deleted my facebook a few months ago so i no longer see her sporatic life updates. she hardly posted anyway, but maybe once a year some news would pop up. she got married. she graduated from medical school. she moved some place for a residency. i dont think about her at all anymore except when she pops up in my dreams, which is rare. but every time i am left in such an odd mood.

her presence in my dreams is oddly comforting, being recognized by someone who has witnessed your whole life. but that is replaced by the sad realization that there is no connection there anymore and there has not been for many many years. i still have her phone number, i could easily reach out. but to what end? what would i even want from her at this point? it feels like there is something; i just have no idea what. maybe some day i will figure it out.

#personal #idk what this post is but i guess i had to write it LOL #if you know who im talking about no you dont

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capitalism-and-analytics · 1 year

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hello. i am 24 currently, i have my bachelor’s in acct (graduated in dec 21) and ive done a single acct internship with crowe in spring 22. however i did not get a job offer afterward. i think i was overwhelmed by the job, how i was doing such important work after starting from nothing. it was kinda monumentous and a little heavy. idk if that makes sense? but currently im just working at a coffee shop and a restaurant. its very different but idk im kinda flailing around not going after my dream. i do love acct. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and enjoyed every bit of college. i should also mention that im high functioning autistic so idk if i chose the right field 😭 do u have any advice for me that could potentially help me get to where i want to be? i dont mind being a staff accountant. i dont aim very high. im not for senior manager or partner stuff. i also do wanna mention that i did apply for another internship for 23 spring but i did not receive it. i was kinda ashamed of myself and stopped trying 🥲 im sorry if im bothering u. thank u.

i have my bachelor’s in acct (graduated in dec 21)

Congratulations!

and ive done a single acct internship with crowe in spring 22. however i did not get a job offer afterward.

Crowe is a reputable firm and arguably one of the better large PA firms from what I've heard. Did they provide any feedback as to why you were not receiving a return offer? I know you mentioned that you were overwhelmed with the job, but just curious if there were any specific gaps, issues, or deficiencies that you could potentially address in preparation of your next role.

i should also mention that im high functioning autistic so idk if i chose the right field 😭

Although I will not pretend to be an expert on autism, I can tell you from experience that I have worked with many individuals with autism throughout my career, including in consulting, which is one of the more socially challenging areas among accounting, so I wouldn't let yourself question if accounting is the right field for you. At least not due to having Autism, it may be the wrong field for other reasons.

At the very least, one of the many perks of accounting is how versatile it is, so perhaps you may just want to pursue something with less client-facing (i.e. not public accounting) or at smaller firms.

do u have any advice for me that could potentially help me get to where I want to be? i dont mind being a staff accountant. i dont aim very high. im not for senior manager or partner stuff.

Well let's start with that: where do you want to be? It'll be much easier to advice you in a direction after knowing where you want to go and don't worry if that changes in the future. Your journey isn't one that is set in stone, it can change many times in your life.

Also don't put yourself down so much, you got a strong GPA, a valuable degree, and an internship from a reputable firm. You have A LOT of options and just realize you have already accomplished a lot more than many other graduates with and without Autism.

Furthermore, just for your awareness, you can still go far in your career as an individual contributor (IC) and not ever become a people manager (PM). There's a lot of people who become long-term IC's and still go far.

i also do wanna mention that i did apply for another internship for 23 spring but i did not receive it.

No worries! Just keep applying everywhere that seems interesting and don't just limit yourself to internships, you should apply to full-time positions too. You don't have to do an internship to get a FT offer. I did a tax internship my junior year at a small cpa firm and then switched to data analytics consulting at a big 4 (w/o internship) after I graduated.

Something to remember is that, just because you don't get a response or even get rejected from a company, it doesn't necessarily mean you are underqualified. A lot of companies have permanent job postings to have constant applications that auto-reject after XYZ days, even if they have no open positions.

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otakusheep15 · 1 year

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hey im the anon who said ill hit rook once in my life if he existed irl.

I totally agree with what u said about rook's potential being wasted. It too made me uncomfortable watching his interactions and but then at times i end up laughing because of the exaggeration or his actions like when in the halloween event he just started singing out of nowhere very cheerfully in contrast to their stuation. But then i think, what if they deliberately wrote his character to not be very likeable to the viewers because hes based off the huntsman

"Yes, Vil appreciates his opinions and perspectives, but many other characters don't, and they express this heavily, especially the non-human characters" Yep this is what i mean by when he gives unsolicited advice and him failing to be socially appropriate. I really want him to read the social cues. I really hope to see his character development cause we didnt really get that in ch-5 or 6 cause while we do get sides of rook we dont normally see he still hasnt stopped being entirely a creep or or trying to improve on it. While rook's intentions arent bad his actions are very uncomfortable, i really wish the writers would give him his character development so i wouldnt have this like-hate feelings towards him even if it means they graduated nrc cause at least my man got better

"So we can't really confirm if his traits are a result of trauma like the others." the fact that we dont know much more about rook makes it much harder to bear his presence at times, we know more about vil and epel and a got more than a glimpse to understand what their relationship with their parents but with rook.....everything about him mysterious we dont really know much even about his family while we know that epel has a grandma and ace has a older brother,etc and generally doesnt like speaking about himself. I hope to see him open up to someone or seeing the world from his eyes from the past to the present.

"Plus, unlike the majority of characters, Rook is not based on a villain, he's based on the huntsman from Snow White. So, realistically, he should be one of the morally best characters, and he shouldn't be as bad as some of the "villain" characters."

not really,the huntsman isnt really a good character, he is introduced to us as a villain in the beginning who plans to kill snow white and spares her. The Huntsman is not necessarily good, because of his agreement to kill Snow White, but the reason he couldnt bring himself to kill her was because of how much she resembled an innocent child and after failing to complete his task he's try to deceive the queen because he wants to save her and himself as well. This shows the huntsman had a little bit of conscience despite him agreeing to take another's life and almost succeding to do so if she hadnt turned towards the huntsman direction and giving a shriek which was the final straw that he couldnt do that. He is a villain but not a major one at that. His morals are also in a grey area when u consider that and that the queen wouldnt assign a rookie who just killed animals to kill a human being. And rook isnt morally bad and could possibly be consider good because he saved neige from drinking vils poison and trying to help vil in the process in both chap-5 and 6. He has mostly all the time been honest and isnt morally bad in theory but in practicality he sucks at interacting with others even if he doesnt mean it.

"I wish that I could like Rook more, I really do, but he just gives me too much ick, and I apologize to all Rook lovers for that."

Please dont apologise for not liking a character. U have very valid reasons for not liking him. I hope in the future that rook is more considerate of others and that u slowly start to like him a little bit. The fact that u tried to see him in a better light even tho u couldnt is still admirable for the fact u tried to see the better inside of him and for that i thank u because most of the fandom just disregards him and takes no weight of his actual character

Honestly, I can agree with you. There are moments where I do enjoy Rook's character. The Halloween event is probably the only time he hasn't made me feel super uncomfortable, and I found myself actually wanting to see more of him, especially with how funny his dynamic between him, Trey, and Sebek was.

I also really want to see his character development in game. I remember absolutely hating characters like Riddle, Azul, and Vil during their feature chapters, but then loving them after they get their character development. Even more minor characters like Ruggie and the Tweels were much more enjoyable once they were redeemed, so I do hope the same happens to Rook at some point.

As much as I love mysterious characters, I do wish to learn more about Rook. He seems so fascinating, and I want him to open up more about his life. Like, he's the only non-beastman character who comes from Sunset Savannah, and I wanna hear more about that. Is he secretly part beastman? Is that why he's so obsessed with the non-human students? I really wanna find out.

I do see where you're coming from about the Huntsman not technically being a "good guy," but I do respectfully disagree. In game, the characters use void magic, as I'm sure you know. Most of them have dark void magic, but three of them are different. Rook, Kalim, and Silver all use a light form of void magic. Silver and Kalim are both based off of non-villain characters (Aurora and the Sultan respectively) which makes sense. The fact that Rook is the only other character with light void magic leads me to believe that, at least according to the devs, Rook, and therefore the Huntsman, are not villains. However, I do agree that Rook isn't morally bad at all, and I do genuinely believe that most of his off-putting nature stems from a lack of social skills. I lowkey headcanon that he didn't have many friends or neighbors growing up, leading to his strange form of interacting with others. I think he could honestly benefit from someone teaching him how to talk to others without creeping them out.

And, yeah, I do have a tendency to apologize when I disagree with someone. I just don't want them thinking I'm trying to start something with them or anything lol. But, really, I do try to see all characters in a good light at least once before I immediately start hating them. In my opinion, all characters deserve a chance, especially in a game where most of them are based off of villains. I do want to like Rook so bad because I love the Huntsman character from Snow White, and Rook does have such an interesting character design to him, both in looks and personality. I hope the devs give him some type of story arch, or at least a side story that delves more into his character.

Also, side note, I like how you cited quotes from my previous post. As someone whose favorite subject in high school was english, it made me laugh a bit, in a good way ofc /pos.

#twisted wonderland #rook hunt

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mxwhore · 2 years

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here to tell you anything on anon!!! I am knitting a pair of sock!! they are the colors of the genderqueer flag even tho I'm not even entirely sure I am yet, it just feels right. I am also thinking about going to a knitting group at my local library because I'm feeling isolated and honestly I just need more people in my life, even if they're little old ladies. I like hanging out with older people when they're chill and absorbing their knowledge like a sponge. Betting no one will recognize the flag either, & worst case scenario I could just lie & say it's a coincidence or that it's actually the suffragette flag because historical something something something. regrettably the librarians with all the lgbt pins is at the Other local library so I will not be able to hold up my sock make direct eye contact whilst attempting queer telepathy via yarn colors.

no clue why this is what I picked to tell you about, just excited and nervous I guess. anyways, you got any cool library stories up ur sleeve Tessa?

hey, im really glad youre putting yourself out there! making friends while being an adult is an herculean task and honestly? you DEFINITELY want to have old ladies on your corner, they are the most ride or die people in the world, god bless them

also, very sadly, i dont have any library stories! i live too far away from them and im perpetually tired. what i can tell you about is that id like to start an arts and crafts program for kids and teens in my community center! mainly because most of them turn to delinquency given their circumstances and that fucking sucks. i dont know how to do it or who i have to talk with but its definitely in my bucket list after i graduate!

#if everything goes right ill have my biotech degree by 23. 23!!! thats too gdamn young to give myself to a career #i wanna do things go places help people etc #also exploring gender through creation?? 10/10 anon. i hope you get to befriend some cool queer librarians!#needed something positive rn thanks anon #tessas txt

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nhoongmeep · 4 months

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Week 6

Risk Management

How might I use the Quality, Time & Risk Management techniques I learned about in class to improve my life? What do I want to do when I graduate? What existing risks are preventing me from succeeding in my plans? How do I mitigate those risks?

i think i can use thiss technique to manage my life projects better. As of now i have many many big personal projects that could last years and decades but the workload seems overwhelming. i havent had time to break it down and tackle it. not to say balancing everyday life, personal project, professional projects and studying. i think i could benefit to section everything into bite size and achievable tasks rather than 3 or 4 giant sections.

After graduations, im planning to further my studies into animation and game making, since Design Studies is a very general and overall Course, meaning i know a bit of everything but not particularly specialized in anything. My final directions is still animation, and illustrations, so im planning to study master in those. illustration is cool and more to my liking but im not sure if i can sustain myself by just being an illustrator, so I'm refocusing onto Animation, specially 2D animation. The reason why 2D and not 3D is bc i feel like in recent years the 3D animation industry has been oversaturated and asking for sth new, so they r developing the mix betwwen 2D and 3D or multimedium. And to be able to adapt to the everchanging and demanding industry, i have to had my basic first, therefore 2D animation. for me 3D is just a skill to add on the skillset, but to be really good and unique i have to start with 2D. so my plan for the near future is, getting internship in a 2D studio in Hanoi (Deedee animation would be great) > work to get experience first > once i feel like im all prepared and equipped with basic knowledge > animation master oversea (Singapore/France/England/Hongkong) > get a job in some animation studio and deveope my portfolio and personal project. During this plan i definitely have to develope some personal project to strengthen my portfolio. Honestly, im scared, I have all this plan but i dont know where to start and everything seems so overwhelming. i know i should start w bitesize baby step but it would be a lie if this isnt still overwhelming to me.

Anyway, project update

We just got update on the question list and the chosen brief in Dec 2nd, and it's Chuyện của Gấu. We r currently behind our schedule 2 week, so we will have to push our productivities up. I called for a quick meeting/ update to divide our workload and readjust our timeframe. also tell my team mate to do more research into BSNB, moonbear and Mường culture.

Our task curently

As of now, we divided into 2 group

task 1 - Calendar - Nhung Nguyen & Linh Dinh

task 2 - GIft box - Linh Tran & Mi Do

each person will get 4-5 tasks, this can be change accordingly in the future if anyone is/is not able to finish their task.

additional tasks: research and questions for client on BSNB fieldtrip

nhoong's personal task: communicate w clients and other leaders to agree on a day for the field trip; preparations and collect drafts from members and organize to present to client first draft on field trip

2 key dates this week:

9 Dec: client meeting 1 - Introductions and Hanoi zoo filedtrip

10 Dec: BSNB fieldtrip

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chappedlipjournal · 5 months

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I've been feeling a lot of emotions the last few days, most of which are the result of pms.

We've had:

Rage

Fatigue

Anxiety

Despair

More anxiety

Small bouts of numbness

And today's primary feeling which isn't actually a feeling, vertigo!

And I am over it. Over it!!!! I am ready for my hormones to level the fuck back out and to get my bad nights of sleep behind me.

And i'm trying v v hard to honor my feelings and doubts without letting them completely sabotage me. Because a lot of it is perfectly normal and fine to be anxious and worried about (the rage was like 90% unwarrented).

I'm moving house and i like this house and im sad about it.

I'm moving out of the country (like hello???? Massive life shift massive massive change)

Ive spent copious amounts of money this week on a new (future proof) phone and new (future proof ish) laptop. Neither of which will have to be updated for 5-7 years. And my friend who did move out of the counry confirmed that it was a good decision and didnt regret updating their stuff at all.

I think a lot of the not insidious but a lot of the doubt and fear has really reared its head this week and i was not prepared for it. Like what am i doing??? Leaving everyone ive ever known and loved all the places im familiar with leaving the security of my own country.

For a place where i have no legal standing. No house. No job. No visa. Nothing. Like what the fuck. Who does that???

And yet. And yet. I canNOT picture myself staying here. Staying at this job another foir and half years. Staying in this house.

I realized that prior to my trip to England, I was having massive bouts of self harm urges. I was struggling mentally. I was struggling a lot trying to stay clean. It was taking up soooo much of my brain space and i didnt know what to do.

But after making this decision thats not really been an issue. I think like i needed some direction or a goal or something to work toward. Ive never done well with being aimless. And i hate hate feeling stuck or trapped.

I hate feeling trapped. I mean clawing at the walls, heavy weight on your chest cant breathe, fighting the urge to run trapped. I dont really know where this feeling comes from in me or why i have it. I dont know why its so visceral. But the job the house the thought of the future. It incited that feeling in me. And i need out. I need to breathe.

Prague every time ive been there its felt like coming home. This knot in my chest, it just loosens. I dont feel so on edge? I dont feel so i dont know to describe it. I just feel more content there. Less like a frightened horse i guess.

And im confident i can make it work. Im good at job interviews. Im good at cover letters. I miss working with kids.

I think if covid had not happened when i graduated i would have ended up abroad teaching english in 2020.

#p #now i just gotta focus on packing #tomorrows goal the books #sunday and mondays goal is the bathroom #then we move into thanksgiving break and will tackle the spare bedroom #my bedroom and my office #i can do it #i have to do it #i have no choice now

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stranger-nightmare · 2 years

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I've recently discovered Daredevil (and your blog as a result) and I'm simping HARD for Matt Murdock.

Thoughts on how reader/you and matt would actually get together (like friends to lovers sort of deal where you've known each other for a few years from school or something idk but you never dated and just saw other people but maybe theres ~feelings and tension~)? S

Sorry I dont mean this as a request just any ideas no pressure I hope this is ok

Ooohhh yes yes yes I’ve actually been thinking on this a lot, readers long-term relationship with Matt and how they got together is my current reality shift that I use to go to sleep lmao😂 so yeah I’ll give you my personal headcanon on how I think your relationship would go

(Warning: slight mention of date rape drugs)

Also apologies in advance this might be quite a long headcanon but here goes:

Okay so you guys meet in college, on a random night out

Some guy tried to spike you but Matt smells the change in chemicals in your drink

So Matt steps in and makes sure you don’t drink it, kicking the shit out of the guy in the process

You thank Matt outside the bar, tending to his split lip where the guy managed to get in one punch

Matt and Foggy then walk you back to your dorm but not before you put your number in Matt's phone

And then the two of you start dating, going on lil coffee dates, exploring the Colombia area, study dates, etc etc.

He’s really nervous and awkward and only makes a move to kiss you after the third date

You of course become best friends with Foggy as well

You and Matt are each other’s first times, it’s kinda bumpy and awkward, not only learning sex for the first time but with a blind man as well

But fucking hell Matt is eager to learn how to please you, he’ll spend literally hours just learning the layout of your skin, learning what you like and what you don’t, listening to your body intently and how it responds to his touch

You, Matt and Foggy become three lil besties

And then you graduate, Matt going off to work with Foggy and you going your own direction in careers

You guys manage to keep up your relationship for a while but eventually it becomes too difficult

Matt becomes gradually distant, disappearing at all times of night, just generally not paying as much attention to you as he used too

You guys start arguing a lot more, always ending in tears

Eventually you make the heart breaking decision to leave him, he cries and begs you to stay saying he’s sorry but you just can’t be dragged on like this

So you go your separate ways even though it pains you so much every time you think of him

You try dating other people but it never lasts, you’re still too emotionally invested in Matt no matter how hard you try to deny it

Also no one even remotely compares to Matt when it comes to pleasing you

But randomly one day after a few years you come home to your apartment to find a broken and bleeding masked man on your couch

You’re about to scream and panic until you hear that all too familiar voice pant “no wait please, y/n, it’s me”

You suddenly realise that he’s the masked man, the devil of hells kitchen, that’s been on a vigilante mission

Now it makes sense why he was behaving so strangely before, disappearing at night and returning with all sorts of bruises and cuts on his body / face

He’s beaten to a bloody pulp but begs you not to take him to the hospital

He’s shady about the circumstances of his injuries but you patch him up regardless bc I mean what else are you gonna do, he can’t tell you much bc he doesn’t want you to know to much just in case someone comes after you

But he can’t help himself now that he’s got a taste of you being back in his life

He keeps coming back, sneaking in through your window late at night

Sometimes it’s to patch him up, sometimes it’s just bc he needs comfort

And let’s be honest eventually all your unspoken feelings will bubble over and one night him needing ‘comfort’ just turns into the two of you having really passionate and needy sex

Slowly but surely you and Matt just fall into sync again, basically rekindling the relationship you had together during college🥺

So so sorry this took me forever to answer but I really hope you like it🥺🙈

- Hope🐝

Masterlist

#wasp answers #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #matt murdock smut #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock angst #matt murdock headcanon #daredevil #daredevil x you #daredevil x reader #daredevil x y/n #daredevil x female reader #daredevil smut #daredevil angst #daredevil fluff

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dabisqueen · 3 years

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REDEMPTION PT.1

Ok so bear with me. I am not a native English speaker and I am just writing for fun. I dont make money off of this. Just my brain sh** written down in words, including typos. I am not a Hemingway and there are bad sentences, even logical mistakes. Sorry, not sorry. It’s my story.

PS: this is a spin-off from my first story

Shōto x Reader, Dabi x Reader (brother's rivalry)

Pt. 1 of 6

Word Count: roughly 2.5K

Synopsis: You are quirkless, nevertheless Shōto Todoroki falls in love with you. And you for him. That is, until Dabi steps between you both

Warnings: 18+, smut, angst, hurt but also a lot of comfort, bondage, some physical abuse, alcohol abuse, smoking, sexual assault, some violence, noncon, unprotected sex (pls be smarter in real life and protect), oral sex, creampie, roughish sex, kidnapping, quirk use, yandere behavior, mildly toxic relationship, pregnancy (oops, spoiler alert!)

I’m terrible at trigger warnings (TWs) so please let me know if I should add some or mine are inaccurate

>> MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! <<

Pt. 2

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In a world full of quirks and heroes I was one of the few not bestowed with any kind of gift. I worked at a small local flower shop after I graduated from high school. My apartment was located in a mediocre residential complex, nothing special, merely consisting of one room with a bed and a cooking nock. But I was able to afford it and loved it. It was located on the second floor and had a cute little balcony. Watching the sunset, sipping a glass of wine while enjoying the sweet scent of the flowers and plants surrounding me was my favourite way of enjoying the evening.

I wasn't exactly the quiet type of girl, but I liked keeping to myself. When others partied on Saturday, I found myself strolling along the river banks of the town, appreciating the serenity of the quiet evening, birds singing their evening serenade. My friends were few but the ones I had stuck to me like glue. I have had a few boyfriends, but nothing particularly steady, they just never gave me what I was searching for.

It was a beautiful morning in May and looking out the window I saw the cherry blossoms in the distance smiling at me. The weather proved to be intoxicating and warm, so after getting off work I decided to attend the Hanami festival.

The gravel road was covered with cherry blossoms, the green foliage shone in the evening sun's loving light as I mingled with the crowd, taking in the cherry forest's sweet smell. Strolling underneath the trees, a mild breeze suddenly blew and made the light pink petals fall round me like wintery snow. I closed my eyes for a second, enjoying the feeling of the pink snowflakes fluttering across my face, the fragrant incense almost numbing my mind when I suddenly bumped into someone and lost my balance. I squealed and was about to fall when two strong arms caught me mid air.

My gaze went up to meet a pair of heterochromatic eyes, one turquoise and one grey. Bicolored hair swaying slightly with the wind, the evening light reflecting in it as my rescuer asked with a shy smile if I was ok. My lips opened and closed, struggling for words as he helped me up, chuckling.

“Are you by yourself?” I nodded shyly.

Cocking his head, he took in my sight and asked with hopeful eyes “Want to join me?” He nudged his chin indicating the direction he was heading in and I gladly accepted.

All around us people were drinking sake or tea and eating their home-cooked meals to mark the occasion. We wound our way through the crowd, subconsciously seeking out a more quiet area of the park. We enjoyed ourselves, talking and laughing a lot, while we strolled through the crowd.

I learned that his name was Shōto and he had just graduated from U.A. academy, working at his dad's office. As the night slowly descended upon us, lamps started to illuminate the park with warm light. We finally arrived at an old cherry tree, overlooking a small creek flowing by. The colorful blossoms painted the water with their petals as we stood there and enjoyed the silence around us. He picked up a cluster of pink and white flowers that had fallen onto the soft gras and gently tugged it behind my ear. Before I knew it, our fingers gently wrapped around each other, as he gazed into my eyes and raised a hand to lift my chin. Lost in the sensation of his soft lips latching onto mine I sighed, our delicate kiss quickly descending into passion, with little regard for what was going on around us.

The following weeks, whenever his work allowed it, we saw each other, spending hours talking about us, our past. When he mentioned that Endeavor was his father, I almost choked on my drink, spilling it everywhere.

"What the…" I snorted, "Endeavor, for real?!"

"Not proud of it, but, uhm yeah," we both laughed, as I tried cleaning up my mess.

"Why not?" I tilted my head and he told me about the reason for his scar, why his mom got so angry. My hand gently reached out to his face, soft fingers caressing his burn scar, while he never let his eyes off me. I leaned forward to kiss his scarred skin, so in love with him, his past, his suffering and his strength. I was completely overwhelmed by the love for this man.

One evening he showed me pictures of his family on his phone - his mom Rei, sister Fuyumi and brother Natsuo. As we went through the photographs I noticed another young man in the older family pictures, white hair, same cerulean eyes as Shōto and pointed it out. A sadness in his voice took over as he recounted his memories about his eldest brother Tōya, who had disappeared, probably died when Shōto was still young. We comforted each other as I told him about my tragic past, losing both parents in a villain attack a few years ago. There was a special bond between us, made of love and sorrow, that no one else shared with us. It was comforting, knowing him around, the way he held my waist while we were kissing, the way his mesmerizingly beautiful eyes gazed into mine. I felt at home with him, nothing ever could get between us, we knew we had found each other.

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It had been a long week, people celebrating the blooming summer with buying floral arrangements. I had been busy in the store handling all the requests pouring in, as our flowers were well known for their freshness and good quality. Shōto got slammed with a tight schedule, rotating unusual patrol hours and working late into the night in the office.

We were fighting to find time to spend together as we both worked relentlessly, so it was not until Saturday that we met again. It was our first time spending the night together and my heart started pounding at the thought of it. I heard a soft knock on my door and jumped up, opened the door and threw my arms around Shōto's neck. He dropped his bag, lifted me up and twirled me around, his soft laughter filling my room as he nestled his head in my neck.

“Missed you,” a low moan escaped him as our lips met and I breathed into his kiss "Me too."

I had prepared his favourite, Soba noodles. His bicolored eyes didn't stop looking at me longingly, following my every movement. The tension was hot in the air after we finished eating dinner. While I rinsed off the dishes, I felt Shōto’s touch on my body - his large hand holding my waist tenderly as he bent down, kissing the nape of my neck while his crotch pressed against me from behind.

"Are you ready for tonight?" he rasped into my ear, hot breath brushing my skin and making me shiver with pleasure, “I want you, all of you.”

My skin started getting heated as my nervousness increased “I am nervous”.

“Don't be” he turned me around, still pressing me against the counter as he cupped my cheeks, delicately holding me like I was made of glass.

Tracing my slightly parted lips with his thumb, he lifted my chin up towards him and leaned in for a sensual kiss. My eyes turned wide as his sweet breath ghosted my face. When our lips connected, I closed my eyes, stars darting behind closed lids, sparks running through my body as a throbbing heat awoke deep inside of me. Our tongues met and intertwined as he tasted me, exploring the depth of my mouth, as the kiss grew more passionate. I raised my hands and laced them into his silky hair, pulling him even closer into the kiss while he slowly started tracing along my sides.

I could feel his hot excitement growing bigger in his pants and automatically reached down to press my palm against his crotch, carefully striking it. He exhaled sharply, his kiss getting wilder, breathless until he finally parted.

Panting he gazed at me and whispered with his low husky voice, "You are going to be the death of me".

With one swift movement he lifted me on his hips, my legs and arms wrapped around him, and carried me over to my bed, where he gently laid me on the sheets. My hair fanned out behind me as I arched my back, so he could pull my shirt off, exposing my delicate skin and lacey bra. He elicited a beautiful whimper from my lips as he scooped a hand behind my back and unlatched my bra with a snap of his fingers, pulling it off.

"So beautiful…" he groaned to himself, awed by the sight.

My pants and underwear flung to the floor next. He reached behind his back, pulling his shirt off with one swift move, exposing his defined muscles and abs. I inhaled as he shrugged his jeans off and pulled down his boxers, his huge cock springing into full view. I gasped at the sheer size of it, thickly veined and glistening with precum.

As he bent forward to lean in to another kiss, our skin met, his touch irresistibly icy and hot at the same time. We continued kissing as he trailed his hands up my waist and started circling my breasts. He captured my soft moans with his mouth as he gently slid his rough hands over my delicate skin. His lips left mine and I winced at the loss, as he peppered my cheeks and neck with small little kisses.

"Baby, you are gorgeous!" he cood, nose brushing down my middle, burying his face between my breasts, before moving to one of your nipples, sucking and biting at the soft flesh.

He delighted in the soft moans that escaped my lips before he started pinching my nipple with his right, cold hand, while his left, hot to the touch, cupped my other breast so he could latch onto my pebble again. I winced at the temperature difference, purest pleasure washing through my body like jolts of electricity. His palms were massaging me, brushing over my oversensitive skin as I slowly rolled my hips against him.

"Shōto," a choking gasp fell from my lips, "I want you, now..."

He hummed in approval before letting go of my mound, "You ready, baby?" I nodded.

"Really!?" He smirked, his hand, icy to the touch, trailed down my stomach, making my hair stand up until I felt him slide his finger over my swollen folds, caressing it with every stroke. As one of his fingers slid inside of me, I mewled at the size of it, so much thicker than mine. My eyelids fluttered with lust and I bit my lower lip to suppress more moans.

“Nuh-uh, no holding back” he teased and slipped yet another finger inside, as shameless moans kept falling from my mouth.

“You sound so sweet,” his thumb caught my clit, rolling circles into it, increasing his speed until my breathing became faster and my eyes rolled back in my head. He curled his fingers inside me, watching me react like it was pure electricity as he rubbed that sensitive spot inside of me. My pupils dilated and unfocused, I felt the knot inside myself beginning to tense up and my body started to shudder.

“Now you are ready,” he watched me as my perfect lips part, a soft longing moan vibrating from my throat.

Still in a foggy haze, I felt him withdraw his hands and spread my legs apart. His hips brushed against my thighs as he positioned himself in front of my sweet folds, rubbing his cock along my slit.

“So wet, you are perfect” he whispered, mesmerized by the sight of my essence dripping onto the sheets. He leaned forward, a hand on each side of my body as he gazed down at me.

“Look at me,” he whispered longingly and our eyes locked as he slowly pushed forward.

"Oh my god," I choked out, my lungs sucking in air and I raised my hips to make room as he started to fill me up inch by inch.

"Tell me if it’s too much.” He hissed as he carefully eased all the way in. I winced as I felt my wet walls stretching around his girth, clenching, sucking his cock all the way in. He panted in my neck, buried incredibly deep inside of me. My chest heaved as he carefully pulled out of me, then back all the way in. He started moving with slow, heavy thrusts until I was a whimpering mess below him. With every move I could feel the thick ridge of his cock rub against that one special spot on my gummy walls. He rolled his hips and I threw my arms around his neck, my nails digging deep into the soft skin of his back.

“You are incredible,” he groaned and I whimpered at his words, feeling myself clench tighter. Shōto took up the pace, now thrusting into me, his head falling forward, sweat rolling down his cheek.

“Please cum on me, baby,” he managed to get out between ragged breaths and my mind started to fog over as I felt the coil inside my core snap. I keened, shameless moans falling from my mouth as my mind exploded with pleasure. My body buckled under him, as continuous waves of pure pleasure washed over me. The way my cunt squeezed around him in the aftershocks of my orgasm had Shōto following me shortly after, bottoming inside me a final time as he came deep inside my quivering walls.

His hand found mine, fingers sliding between mine, intertwining as we both whispered words of love against each other's lips. We stayed like this until our hearts stopped racing and our breathing had calmed down. When he pulled his softening cock out of me he rested his head between my breasts, taking in the sweet scent of me.

“That was… beautiful,” he murmured into my damp skin and kissed it softly, “Can't wait for more.”

He laid down next to me and I nestled into his arms and rested my head on his chest. He stroked my hair gently and kissed the top of my head. We continued caressing each other, enjoying the moments of perfect harmony. After a while we got up and took a shower together, heated kisses falling under the steaming water. We made love over and over again until it was deep in the night. Our bodies sweaty and totally spent, we snuggled up to each other. His perfect nose ran circles along my neck as he whispered with heated breath “I love you.” I gazed into his grey and turquoise eyes and whispered my love back to him. Turning off the light, we quickly fell asleep in each other's loving embrace.

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Pt. 2

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junova · 3 years

Text

↬ 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

abstract — steve professes his love for you then disappears for three months. what happens when he returns?

pairing — steve rogers x fem!reader

wc — 2.7k

warnings — 18+ DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE A MINOR, heavy smut, daddy kink, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), cockwarming if u squint, cussing, angst, fluff.

[m blabs] — howdy howdy! this is for @chrissquares @drabblewithfrannybarnes , and @amythedvdhoarder hoelentine’s fic swap! sorry this is a day late pls dont come for me and i did not proof read this so i apologize for future readers suffering thank u

my giftee was one of the insanely talented writers on this app — @donutloverxo ! hope you like it berry! <3

It had been months since you’d seen him. An undercover mission taking longer than originally thought left you feeling lonelier to your own surprise. You blamed it how the two of you left things unresolved. Out in the open, all of his feelings laid out on a silver platter for you to take.

All of it. Steve, his love, the moment of words you’d dreamed of him saying — it was too real. Too unimaginable to believe. He always is.

You’d never really had someone you who went out of their way everyday to make you feel loved and Steve did. Truly, you should have seen it sooner. The consistency of his adoration and loyalty blew the limits of platonic friendship. Not until, he was nearly crying, choked up by his own words did you realize just how much it ran deep within him.

The words he spoke to you were still echoing in the forefront of your mind, not letting you breath for a moment. Were you really in love with him just as much as he was with you? It was hard to believe just because Steve was so far out of reach. Especially for you.

Watching his beautiful shade of cerulean, bright and beaming with hope, wanting nothing more than to for you to see him. Leaving him the impression that you didn’t cut the two of you deep. Your answer was hesitant, full of caution. Exactly the opposite for what he was yearning for.

Now, just like you had done for the past couple of weeks, you found yourself waiting in the tower for him. You lingered around no matter how many times Tony told you they would let you know when he was home safely. It didn’t stop you from coming, though.

Even if you knew it would be even longer until you would get to finish the conversation with him, being her helped you feel more at ease. Plus, no one’s besides Tony had the guts to try and make you leave.

Natasha and Sam were the only ones who didn’t really question it. Ever since you met Steve, you were here so often but they just so happened to be walking down the hall when he confessed exactly how wide his affection ran for you.

As they watched you linger in the tower, even if the outcome had been different than Steve wanted or expected, Sam and Nat were starting to see just how much you cared for him.

Natasha was the one to catch you silently sleeping in one of his sweatshirts cuddled up into his sheets. Thankfully, still smelling like him just enough to lull you into a peaceful slumber.

Then, Sam caught you peeking at the framed picture of the two of you sitting on his desk, the only one which did. Admiring the way you let your fingers drift around the wooden frame, endearingly. Internally, continuing to fight this inner battle within you.

“If it makes it any easier, I’m sure he misses you just as much.” You peaked up at the tone of Wilson’s voice, making his presence known. He walked over to you, watching as you continued to look at the photo.

Your smile wide at your college graduation, ball and gown, wearing a dress you knew Steve liked with his arms wrapped around your waist in a truly candid moment, one you’d forgotten about. The picture more than likely buried so deep within your phone with the countless others you had taken of and with him.

“I wish it did, but it doesn't really. Just wish I knew he was okay. I worry a bit too much, I think.” You spoke softly, halfway speaking to Sam but you mostly just spoke to yourself. “I never knew he kept this photo of us here.” Your touch finally disconnects from the sturdy frame.

“He really thinks too sweetly of me.” Standing in his office, surrounded by all of his belongings made it so much harder for you to cut ties like you had originally wanted to do. “Really? Couldn’t tell by how he talks about you constantly.”

“Oh my god, Sam.” You tried to ignore the butterflies erupting in your tummy, but anytime Steve was mentioned it seemed to be an effect he only seemed to pull from you. “What? C’mon, all of us know he was planning on telling you how he felt before Bucky and him left.”

Well, it seemed the embarrassment only seemed to continue.

“All of you, even Tony?” You asked him, even if you knew the answer. You just wanted the attention off you. “Especially Tony. Why do you think he’s been more of a smartass lately?” It made sense, but it did nothing to calm the nerves threatening to boil over.

“I guess I’m just having a hard time believing everyone knew how he felt, but me. I just never thought he would ever feel this way again, about anyone, after Peggy. She was the love of his life and it’s not something I couldn’t possibly measure up to.” You stopped looking at the picture, feeling sick to your stomach.

“With all of what he’s told me, I’ll always feel second best to her because I know just as everyone else if he could still have her he would.” You saw the sketch one time, when he left it open on the counter. It wasn’t really like you to snoop, but you couldn’t help it one day and you did.

Page after page, it was all of Peggy. Any feelings you were harboring for him at the time were thrown to the wind. Because then, you knew. Now matter how important you were to him now, you would always be in the shadow of his first love. The one that got away from him.

“What makes you think that?” Tears were starting to surface and you couldn’t handle it, the worst of your insecurities creeping in.

“Just ask to look at his compass next time you see him.” But you knew what was there. You didn’t need yet another painful reminder of it. “Why would I torture myself like that, Sam?”

“Trust me. You may be surprised.” You highly doubt you would be, so why even try?

The party was in full swing by the tie you arrived. The tower was full with more people than usual as you stepped in, watching as everyone enjoyed themselves. You were hesitant to even come to Natasha’s celebration at all.

You hadn’t been here since your conversation with Sam. Just a little too worried Steve might catch you lingering in his home and sleeping in his clothes. It was something the both of you did, but now with his feelings laying out in the open it seems so much more intimate than before.

Just as you were about to head towards the bar area, where everyone was, you left a large find your own grabbing your attention.

“Hi, sweetheart.” His velvety, smooth voice makes you melt just like it always does. It didn’t register for a second, just who you were talking to and when you did he was in for it.

“Stevie!” You leaped into his arms, too shocked to mask your sheer excitement as your legs wrapped around his slim waist, letting yourself be caught by him.

“I missed you so much, honey.” His words clenching at your heart at the endearing nickname. You felt him sigh into you, one of relief.

“I missed you, too.” You mumbled while you were still clinging onto him like your life depended on it.

“As much as I want to catch up, I feel like we should talk about what happened before I left.” Already, your heart dropped into your chest.

“Stevie, it can’t wait. Don’t worry about it. Okay?” You tried to rub it off because even after all this time you still weren’t certain of the weight in his words.

You let yourself down, off of him, and tried to lead him in the direction of the party but he didn’t budge.

“Please, work with me here. I’m sure they all miss you and want to see you.” Now, you were just stalling and Steve could see it as clear as day.

“Sweetheart, please just stop for a minute.” He felt your hand fall as you crossed your arms over your chest passively.

“Please, Steve.” You pleaded with him and for a moment you just thought he might go with you until those dating words fell from his plump lips.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.” Those words effectively shut you up as Steve stepped closer to you.

“I think about if you love me as much as I’ve fallen in love with you.” You couldn’t find it in yourself to move as he edged closer to you.

“Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much I want to kiss those pouty lips of yours. How much I wanna claim you in every single way.” He was so close to you now, questioning how you were still breathing.

“Just tell me you don’t want this and I’ll go down to that party right now and pretend like this never happened.” When you were silent, looking anywhere but him, he got the hint.

You watched as he walked in the navy clad plants with a button up clinging to his narrow waist.

“Wait!” Even with your heels, you ran to him while he waited for you to catch up.

“Do you still carry your compass on you?” You questioned him with tears in your eyes he hadn’t noticed until now.

And it crushed him.

“Of course I do. Wait...Is this just another crack at how old I really am?” Maybe if you weren’t sure he had just crushed your heart with a single response you might’ve laughed.

“I know this is going to sound weird but can I see it?” Watching him reach for it in his right pocket, you noticed the crimson blush reaching his cheeks.

“I just-, how is this is going to change anything?” Watching him as he awkwardly fidgeted with the object in hand.

“I don’t think it will, but I just need to see it.” He handed it over and you held it for a moment before opening it and nothing could have prepared you for it.

Well, possibly Sam’s words if he had elaborated more.

“I-I know it’s kind of weird. I’m sorry I should have asked when I took that photo but you just looked so beautiful like always and I couldn’t help it. I can take it out if it creeps you out too much.” His words trailed off on a mumbling mess as he was afraid he scared you off.

Even more than before.

“I thought you said Peggy’s photo was in it. Wasn’t it?” This time you were the one getting closer as you pushed back the wet hair away from his face, probably from the shower he’d taken not long after he came back.

“She was, but then I fell in love with you.” He leaned into your touch as both of your hands cradled his face.

“You’re my person. My soulmate. My home. I used to be so angry for so long because I had lost everything I ever loved, but it was all just leading me here. Right in this moment with you.”

You could’ve died happy right then, because the man of your dreams was confessing just on how much he loved you, again.

“Steven Grant Rogers?” You watched as his eyebrows furrowed at the mention of his full name. “Don’t you ever stop loving me. Ever.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He needed nothing more until he was locking his lips with your own. Commanding dominance from the start, causing you to whimper in response.

His skillful tongue sliding into your mouth, causing you to moan even more when he picked you up carrying you into his bedroom.

Before you even realized it, he was recklessly threw you on his bed as he stripped himself down to his boxers. His washboard abs and bulging muscles on full display.

In a flash, he was right back on you worshipping your body, turning you into a moaning mess.

Hiking up your red silky dress until it rested on your hips, your pretty pussy glistening already and he had barely touched you.

Without warning, he slipped two fingers into your warm heat watching as your head flew back. “Oh fuck, daddy.”

The words went straight to his cock as he pumped his finger in and out of you, leaving you begging for me.

“Oh, you like when Daddy’s fucking you with his fingers?” You nodded, unable for anything but moaning his name while he added another finger in you. You're hips moving uncontrollably as he was eye level with you.

Using his free hand, he gripped your jaw forcing you to look at him. “I want you to look at me when you come, princess.” With one swift moment, his thumb rubbed over your clit and you lost it.

Hearing you cry out beneath him as he pushed you over, screaming out his name as he continued to fuck your through the high.

“I need to milk your cock, Daddy. I need you to fill me up with your fucking cum.” He threw his boxers to the wind as he let you maneuver yourself on top.

“C’mon, princess. Let me see you bounce on my cock. Show me how bad you need my cum.” You surely didn’t need to be told twice.

Grabbing his hard cock by the tip, before rubbing over the tip and a few times before letting yourself to sink down until you bottomed out.

“You’re so fucking big. Shit.” But Steve didn’t let you take a breather for a moment until he was fucking up into you. Letting you know who was in complete control.

Until your hands found his hips and you used all your strength to pull almost all the way off of him before sinking roughly on his cock.

“Shit, princess.” As you whimpered you pushed yourself to bounce on his cock, no matter how much pain came with pleasure.

“Look at those tits, princess. You’re so fucking hot fucking yourself on Daddy’s cock. Such a good girl.” But then he flipped over pulling himself out of you before manhandling you on all fours.

Smoothing a hand over your spine, “You’re being such a good girl for Daddy. Let me take care of you.” Wrapping his hand around his thick, cock before finding your slick lower lips.

Rubbing the tip of cock along your folds, watching your body tremble before him. “Daddy, please.” You whined like a spoiled brat, begging for attention.

He’d break you of that later.

But now? He cock was practically dying for a release.

He slowly pushed himself into you, watching as your ass inches towards him more. Then, he was slamming himself into you so roughly you couldn’t fucking breathe.

Grabbing you by the hips, he fucked into you like his life depended on it. Admiring you as you took everything you gave him. The second climax hits you more quickly than you thought.

Steve grabs wraps his arm around you, pulling you up with his cock still thrusting up inside you — chasing his own high.

“I’m going to need you to cum with me, princess.” As he fucked into, your chest against his own and as you heard the slapping of his balls hitting your ass.

“Daddy, I can’t. It’s too much.” You shook your head, but he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Milk me, Sweetheart. I’m dying to fill you up baby. Let me cum in this tight pussy.” His fingers finding your clit, sending you over the edge.

“Yes. Jesus Christ. Don’t fucking stop.” He continued to fuck you senseless as you came.

“Shit, baby girl. I’m cumming.” Slamming himself hard than before as continued to fuck you into oblivion, his seed filling you up until you the both of you collapsed falling into his soft sheets.

The two of you just stayed there for a while with his cock buried deep beneath you. Soon, enough he pulled out leaving you empty.

He jumped out of bed before comping with a wet rag to clean you up, before pulling you into his chest.

“Okay, I think I might have a Daddy kink.” Making Steve laugh, slightly.

“Yeah, maybe just a little bit sweetheart, not that I’m complaining.”

#omfg this is so ROUGH #but i havent written in like 2 months #so at least we did it!#heck yeah :')#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #stever rogers smut #steve rogers fan fiction #mcu fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #m.writes #happyhoelentinesday2021

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notnctu · 4 years

Text

through the lens ❀ l.jn

❀ lee jeno x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, smut/mature content, fluff (romance?), slight angst ❀ details - photographer!jeno, model!reader, college!au, shy!jeno but he aint shy in bed, strangers to fuckers!au ❀ word count - 8k (this is the longest thing ive ever written) ❀ warnings - nude modeling, swearing, oral (f/receiving), some sweet love makin’ ❀ brief synopsis - jeno asks you to model for his internship project, but little did you know, it was going to be a nude photo shoot.

❝ jeno was too shy to hold eye contact, but he stared at you endlessly through the lens. ❞

❀ a/n - hihihi this is author doie❀ ! im bad at writing smut so pls dont hate me ah ha lol i tried my best i also dont model/do professional photography so really apologize if i butcher any terms lmaoo the only thing i am is that im in college and im shy

Jeno had applied to almost a hundred internships and almost close to none returned with an offer, even after a whole month of waiting. He absolutely needed to start building his portfolio before the beginning of his senior year of college. The embarrassment of possibly graduating without any experience loomed over the desperate boy.

Photography had been more than a hobby to him, to the point where he wanted to take it seriously. His parents weren’t the most supportive of an Arts major, but that couldn’t stop him. Jeno saw the best through a camera lens. He had a special eye for beautiful moments and the impressing urge to capture it forever.

It was too late to change his major, if he wanted to graduate with all of his friends. If he wanted to be successful, he had to act on it now.

The swoosh! of a new email startled the sleeping boy. He stared at the brightly lit screen, reading the words over and over again to make sure it was real. Jeno was so enthralled with excitement that he scrambled out of bed to wake up his roommate, Jaemin.

He shook him so violently that the sheets fell from Jaemin’s warm body. “Dude! I got an internship!” He spoke with incredible glee, a wide smile couldn’t leave his face.

Jaemin groaned and had to hold Jeno by the shoulders to halt the boy from causing the room to spin. “Why--What is going on?” He dazely rubbed his tired eyes to blink at his giddy roommate.

The screen blinded Jaemin as it was shoved too closely to adjust. “Whoa--,” he pushed it away and shut his eyes, “--repeat what you just said one more time.” Jaemin held a finger up and Jeno grabbed it, jumping onto his best friend’s bed.

“I got an internship. Someone got back to me.” Jaemin returned the same excitement the moment he processed his words. He shot up in bed and hugged his friend tightly.

“Wo-w, dude! Congratulations!” The two boys hurried on their feet to cheer together. There was no concern for the rest of their housemates, only celebration that roared throughout the entire night.

Truthfully, Jeno had no recollection of applying to this studio. It could have been a random link on a job scouting website, but he couldn’t be more grateful. An internship was long overdue and Jeno had been itching to get some recognition for his craft.

“Hello, I’m Lee Jeno.” He bowed slightly at the receptionist, who had a stern stare that made him feel vulnerable. The first thing he noted about the office: white and minimalistic.

Jeno’s specialty was landscape photography. His aesthetics consisted of black and white filters, city lights, dark mood lighting, and background commotion. He enjoyed capturing chaos the most, a scene where more than one thing was happening. The only reason being that there was more to look at.

“Nice to meet you. The name is Lee Taemin, but you can call me what you please.” A young, lean man strolled his way towards Jeno with a wide grin and his hand for him to shake. Taemin was slightly shorter than him, but his stylish, expensive boots made up for his height. He had to be only a maximum of five years older than Jeno as Taemin appeared relatively youthful.

Taemin’s firm grip pulled Jeno along inside the studio. A small gasp escaped from Jeno which earned robust laughter from the older man. “I hope you can break out of your shell soon. There is no room for timidness around here, Mister Lee.”

“Please, you can call me Jeno.” He smiled, quite awkwardly at the beautiful man.

The tall glass windows, the concrete, gray floor, the white doors that lined the hallway, had to be all too predictable. Jeno envisioned this is what high class must look like. It was the pristine, bright feeling and the smell of vanilla that lingered distastefully. There was chatter behind the closed doors --- mainly directing, and high praises.

The only off-put was that photographers worked behind closed doors. From the few studios he has visited previously, photographers often worked in open spaces due to lighting fractures or the ability to roam more freely.

“I’m actually very ecstatic you signed up for the internship, since you do seem a bit on the younger side.” Taemin gestured toward the sofa in the middle of his massive office. Jeno sat across from him. Water was already placed on the glass coffee table that separated the two. A laptop was opened to face Taemin.

Jeno slyly rubbed the condensation from his palms on his jeans. Taemin’s stare bore deep into the shy boy, who had to break eye contact from time to time. “I know.” Jeno chuckled nervously, “thank you for getting back to me. I was really hoping to gain work experience through mentorship.”

Taemin nodded at everything Jeno was saying. His face being completely expressionless. Jeno sipped his water to regain moisture in his dry throat. Taemin was more intimidating than he was anticipating. “Sounds great. Happy to have you here. It might be a small business, but the experience is worth investing in. Every photographer who has come in and out of my building has found their forte. Let’s say, it’s eye opening.”

“That’s exactly what I was looking for actually.” As scared as he was of this mysterious man, he really enjoyed the comfort the environment radiated.

Taemin leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “I noticed in the portfolio you sent that you don’t have any portraits or any people, in general, in your photos. Do you have any works with people? Since this is a studio of fine art nude photography.”

Nude. Jeno practically choked on the last remaining spit he gathered. Taemin acknowledged the boy’s shocked reaction and tilted his head curiously, “you did know that I specialize in contemporary fine art nude photography, right?” Unfortunately, Jeno did not.

Jeno cleared his throat, “yes, of course. I wanted to challenge myself.” He had to lie, there was no other way to cover up his disbelief. This internship was the only hope left for him to gain something. Though, even the thought of shooting a naked body made him anxious.

He hated how timid he was. His friends and family say otherwise, mainly for the reason that Jeno automatically lit up behind a camera. In all honesty, he hid behind it. It was the only safe place that Jeno knew what he was doing. However when it came to real life situations without it, he lacked the confidence to be himself.

As ironic as it was, he hated being seen. He liked to be the background character in his own life, because the main character took too much of a toll. It could also be his deafening insecurities and lack of self esteem, but Jeno didn’t mind not being the center of attention.

“You like a challenge?” It was more of a statement rather than a question. Jeno caught a glimpse of the twinkle in Taemin’s dark eyes. “Then for your first task, I want you to show me that you can take on this role.”

Jeno scrambled for his phone to jot down notes. “Send me an emotional portfolio, model of your choice. They could be a friend of yours that you feel comfortable seeing naked. It must include a variation of headshots, full body, and body details. It must also be raw and unedited photos. I want to see if you have the eye for the art to capture these types of images.”

“When would you like it by?” He stammered, completely winded at the sudden project that unloaded on top of him.

“Next Friday, and you’ll present it to me here in person. Feel free to use this studio if you don’t have a place of your own with equipment. All you need to do is book a room with the front desk. Any other questions?” The sound of the laptop shutting caused Jeno to look up at the brilliance in front of him. He needed Taemin to help him succeed.

“Why do you take nude photography?”

Taemin was unable to stop the laughter that erupted into the room. “I don’t run a pimp business or sell soft core porn, if that’s why you’re staring at me so funnily. What I make is an art masterpiece, it has nothing to do with physical features or desires. It’s the pure emotion that clothing distracts from. Clothing conforms the model into an aesthetic, and while that works for editorials, it won’t be a consistent thing here.”

Jeno nodded understandingly. Overwhelmed and lost at words. He was unsure what he had gotten himself into. Where was he going to find a model on such short notice on such lewd conditions? He was really going to need to step out of his comfortable zone, in his photography and social skills.

Taemin stood up and extended his hand once more. “I take pride in my art, so I hope you, too, start finding that in your own.”

Jaemin held his stomach from the endless laughter, tears welling up in his eyes. “Nud-Nude photography? And you didn’t know?”

“Jaemin, keep it down.” Jeno whispered and cautiously peered around at the few people flooding into the small lecture hall. “I don’t want everyone in our club to misunderstand and think I’m some creep.”

His best friend straightened up in his seat and placed his hand on Jeno's slumped shoulder, “first of all, you’re a complete idiot for not researching. Secondly, it’s an art form. If you really got yourself a shady, rated R internship, I would’ve told you to drop it instantly.”

His spirits were slightly lifted, but he was still struggling with who he should ask to model for him. As much as he’s already seen of Jaemin, being his roommate, he honestly would rather leave the rest to imagination. Jeno wasn’t purposefully searching the room for a candidate, but he could not stop his eyes from drifting.

He spotted the most attractive side profile that sat two rows below him. He shook his head to make sure he was seeing her correctly. Peering around, he looked for another possible face to shoot. But oh god, how she caught his eye every time she even slightly moved.

You smiled happily with your friends by your side as your club’s executive board members introduced this year’s goals and events to attend. It had to be the smallest amount of alcohol still running in your system that caused you to giggle every time guys tried to turn around and hit on you.

“Why don’t you focus on our club members instead?” You smirked at the smug older boy, who had poorly attempted to grab your attention. “I think this information is important to you. These events could help you develop your social skills to be much better.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but your girl friends scoffed by your side.

He got up in disbelief and quickly walked out of the room. There was a brief pause at the sudden movement, but the announcement carried on per usual.

Jeno impatiently waited for the club meeting to finally be over, so he could talk to you. The longer it dragged, the more his confidence was subsiding. “I’m heading to study, wanna come with?” Jaemin poked at Jeno’s knee.

“Yeah, but you can go ahead first. I need to talk to someone.” His voice was shaky and his throat went so dry. Jeno’s shifty eyes scanned the room, hoping no one saw how nervous he was acting.

Jaemin’s eyebrows lifted suspiciously, “who? I didn’t even know you talked to anyone who came today. Donghyuck and Renjun aren’t here---”

“--her, Jaemin... her. I’m going to ask her to model for me.” Jeno motioned his head. His heart beating faster at seeing a small grin appear on your face from a comment someone made.

Jaemin hummed, “good luck with that, bud. I’ve got two shoulders for you to cry on after.” The extra hint of sarcasm only made Jeno sweat nervously. He was seriously doubting his decision, but it wouldn’t be a challenge if he didn’t do it. He knew he’d regret it more if he didn’t just ask you.

Once the meeting was dismissed, you wanted to get out of the room before the heavy rush into the hallways. Unfortunately, a few frat guys pulled you into their conversation and chatted up a storm. Your friends played into their foolery, but you stopped paying attention when they asked for your numbers.

There was a faint tap on your shoulder and you turned to see who the culprit was. You didn’t seem to know him, because you would’ve remembered such a demeanor. His eyes were glued to the floor behind you and his shaky hands ran through his brown locks. His shyness was quite endearing, yet alarming since you weren’t sure why exactly he had approached you.

“Yes?” You asked curiously.

The moment Jeno heard your delicate cadence, he melted like a popsicle left out in the sun. He peered up, but quickly reverted his eyes to the white tiles when he noticed how beautifully you stared at him.

He counted his breathing to calm his rapid heart beat. He cleared his throat to introduce himself, “I’m Jeno. I’m a third year Arts major, um-- I was just--- I know we don’t know each other. I wanted to ask, uh-” Jeno was horrified at how he stammered over his own words. His cheeks burned with a red glow, and if he couldn’t look you in the eye before, he definitely couldn’t now.

“Hey, see you later.” One of the bulky frat guys called and you waved back weakly.

A guy who had been chasing you endlessly scoffed at the pitiful sight and smirked at you, “see you at my house tonight? Been missing you in my bed lately.”

“Thought you would’ve guessed the reason why I stopped coming around.” Jeno heard the sting in your remarks and the disbelief in the male.

You honestly could have left, Jeno knew that. But you stayed and waited patiently for him to finish. Jeno could tell how strong you were just by your intimidating aura that practically suffocated him by standing in close proximity to you.

You sighed and reached to grab your jacket on the folded seat, “look, Jeno. It’s nice to meet you and all, but I gotta get going.”

Shockingly, the shy boy reached out to stop you by your fingertips. His touch lingered before he dropped your hand quickly. “I’m sorry. Are you free this Monday?”

“Uh, that depends. If you’re asking me on a date, then I’m busy.” Rolling your eyes, you weren’t sure why you still stayed to listen to what this random stranger had to say. If it were anyone else, you would’ve walked away the moment he asked if you were free. However, you acknowledged his timidness and the courage he must have mustered up to approach you.

Jeno shook his head violently, completely in shambles from that type of misunderstanding. “Not a date. I need someone to model for my portfolio photos that my internship assigned. It’s actually very important to me because it’s the first internship that responded back to me when I had applied to so many a whole month ago. Basically, I really need this and you because I think you’d be perfect to take pictures of. Oh-- wow! That sounded very bad --- uh --- what I meant is that your facial proportions are perfect and---”

“I’m free Monday.” You cut off his endless ramble and gestured toward his phone. He handed it to you without any hesitation and you typed in your number. “Text me the time, place and what I should wear.”

“Oh actually, it’s a nude photoshoot.” Your eyes doubled in size, completely offended by that statement.

Jeno felt the sudden shift in the air and brought his hands up to block himself, “to be more clear, it’s a contemporary fine art nude photography studio. The pictures are pieces of art and to be seen as that only. I have no intentions or ulterior motive to sleep with you, see you naked or sell, leak your nudes for the profit of your body. But, I understand if you no longer want to do it because it sounds super strange now that I am explaining it.”

Your shoulders relaxed and the fist that formed unraveled. You exhaled deeply, “I’ll do it. We can talk more about it on Monday and I get to leave on my own accord if I don’t feel comfortable. We work on my conditions.” Picking up Jeno’s chin, he was absolutely petrified at the forced eye contact and your incredible, powerful gaze. He was mesmerized by the fire in your eyes, and if he stared any longer, he could’ve lost himself in them.

“Of course.” With that, you dropped his face and left without another look back. Jeno looked down at his phone and the new contact name, (Y/N). It had slipped his mind to even ask what your name was and he slapped his face in utter stupidity. “Do better, Lee Jeno.” It was a remainder to himself to, hopefully, be better the next time you two speak.

Monday, 3:03 PM.

Jeno paced back and forth in the brightly, lit white room. He was trying to find any blinds or curtains to cover the tall windows of the high rise building. It should not be too much of a problem, the extra lighting was a positive. Jeno was only worried for your comfort of the openness.

There was a soft knock before Jeno practically tripped to open the door. His breath hitched at the sight of your bare face. This time, you were the vulnerable one. Jeno only saw purity, yet impressed at how your tired eyes still managed to bid him a soft smile. He admired your uneven complexion, and the sparse moles that dotted your skin.

“Okay, so you want to see me naked now or later?” Filled with jokes, your voice was light and airy this afternoon. There was a bit of a contrast from the first time you two met. Softer, enchanting, almost ghostly.

Everything in the room was white. The mattress on the floor had a white comforter and white sheets. The backdrop. The walls. The hardwood floor. The only color was the blue sky that the tall windows let in.

“Here’s a robe. You can change in the bathroom.” Jeno scratched the back of his neck and his eyes wandered everywhere, but your’s.

“Would you be okay with me just taking off my clothes in here?” You saw the light tint of pink cover his face, and spread to his ears. You examined more of the shy boy’s embarrassed face, finally getting a really good look at him. Jeno was very attractive, and you could only imagine how beautiful he must look if he fully faced you.

Jeno fiddled with his camera strap, “only if you are okay with that.” Clearing his throat, he stood next to the window to give you some privacy. “I’ll go over what I plan on doing. I’m going to take photos of your face details, parts of your body, full body, and portraits. You can lay down on the bed and I’ll direct you in poses. Have you modeled before?”

He was scanning the bustling city below his feet. Cars zoomed quickly and crowds of tiny people flooded the streets. He brought his camera up to his face, not being able to resist the urge to capture such a thrilling sight.

“If Instagram counts, then yeah. Professional model gig would be a no. Nude photography is a definite no, unless we are talking about being filmed during sex.” Jeno chuckled, while also holding the camera steady and stealing a few moments to keep for himself.

For a strange reason, being naked for a non-sensual reason felt even more vulnerable. Laying on the soft fabric, you felt oddly exposed and slightly more reserved. You’ve had countless strangers see you naked. Men were sexually desiring to see a sexy picture. You were always lusted after, but this feeling of nakedness was special.

“Are you ready?” Jeno gulped, finally setting the camera down.

You hummed cheerfully. Your heart was leaping out of your chest as the boy shifted slowly to face you. As he turned, you noticed he had his eyes sealed shut, which caused a small laugh to erupt. “Jeno, you have my permission to open your eyes and to look at me.”

Holy shit, he was trembling with an inexplicable fear. The camera was slipping from his sweaty hands. His mouth was as dry as the desert. Jeno’s pounding heart was loud in his ears.

Jeno has seen his past girlfriends laying naked in bed, but this situation was too different. When he saw you laying there in absolutely nothing, he was overwhelmed, yet astounded at how graceful you appeared.

There was no exchange of words and no exchange of eye contact. He towered over your lying figure and shakily brought the camera to his eyes. He selfishly wanted to capture your elegance. Through the lens, he saw all of you: the curve in your eyelid, your curled eyelashes, the small mole next to your soft lips, the sharp color of your eyes, the way your hair frames your face.

This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. You were comparable to the arts found in popular museums. Your body lines were enticing and an impressive shape. Your breasts pooled on your chest, the round nude nipple in the centers. Your details had to be sculpted by gods, who took their sweet time making you. You were a true masterpiece.

Confused, Jeno felt a huge mixture of emotions. Was he aroused? Was he infatuated? Did he just fall in love with a complete stranger? He recognized the same thrilled feelings he felt taking landscape photos. With each click, he grew more excited with how beautiful the photos were turning out.

“Sit up and rest your chin on your left hand. Lean your weight on your right leg.” Jeno’s direction was clear and firm. There was no evidence of a smaller tone he usually spoke in. Sitting up, you placed your elbow on your upper thigh to steady your chin. Jeno had already gotten down to floor level to you.

Without the camera that separated you two, it had to be the first time he faced you completely in such close proximity. There was so much to admire about Jeno. He remained concentrated on his craft, but it was actually very sexy to see his dedication. It was almost like he was a whole new person, like all the shyness drifted away.

Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off of you. It wasn’t simply your beauty that amazed him. Your confidence made everything easy. There was something about your blank stares, when he asked for an emotion, you portrayed it perfectly.

“Can we talk while you shoot?” Your sudden voice startled the photographer. He lowered his camera and his gaze automatically wandered off behind you, which didn’t go unnoticed. He nodded after a short pause and the shutter noises continued.

“Why did you choose me as your model?”

Jeno peeled away from the device, “because you’re you.” He didn’t even know what that statement meant. It wasn’t like he knew you before the first time he asked you to model for him.

The corners of your lips dipped down, drawing an evident frown. Click. Jeno loved that image especially. It was a simple way to get real, authentic facial expressions. He marveled at the photo, but registered the reason behind it. “I wanted to ask you the second I saw you. I just knew that I wanted you.”

“But you don’t know me.”

Jeno looked through the lens once again, welcoming a full view of your stunning attributes. He spoke in a low voice, “then, let me know you.” Click.

It would be the biggest lie to say that you weren’t aroused by Jeno at the moment. He was cool, without trying to be. He really did shine when he had a camera to work with, like a star to a dark night. While he had a distinct demeanor off the bat, you enjoyed unraveling the rest of him. He was, also, the first man you met that didn’t seem sexually driven by a naked woman in his presence.

You had to resist every urge to push the camera away and share the few seconds of his entire gaze before it wandered away. You wanted to rock his world, he was so innocent and beautiful. You wished to wreak havoc on him, have him show you how much he wanted you.

You anticipated an awkward photoshoot, but Jeno made you feel safe and comfortable. He made sure to adjust the temperature when goosebumps rose on your arms and when your nipples became painfully hard. He never touched you or came too much into your personal space. He always asked for your permission.

Nude modeling was a new experience for you, but you were surprised at how much you liked it. or how much you liked Jeno taking your photos. He sat next to you on the bed when you put on your articles of clothing and panned through several shots to satisfy your curiosity.

Leaning close, your head ducked to see the photos. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw just the first few. “Is that really me?” The pictures made you feel an abundance of emotions, you felt what they reflected. Sadness, melancholy, happiness, confidence. You didn’t know images had that much power to make you feel that, especially photos of you.

Jeno nodded, smiling so wide that his eyes turned to moon crescents. He was so in love with the results. He found respect for Taemin’s craft and he was right, he might’ve found a new forte to experiment with. “I can send you the photos digitally too, if you want them.”

“Maybe I’ll print them out, frame them, and gift it to every horrid man who has tried to flirt their way to my body since they want to see it so fucking bad.”

Jeno peered over and saw the tiny glimpse of pain in your orbs, “why would you give horrible people what they want?”

“So they can finally shut up and leave me alone. Plus, this is art and if I tell them it’s actually me, maybe it’ll change their minds to start treating me like it.”

He held his palm up and almost immediately, your fingers filled the spaces between his. “I’m going to need you to start treating yourself as fine art.”

“Keep taking more photos of me and I just might start thinking I’m Mona Lisa.” Your laughters blended nicely into each other. There was mutual mental acknowledgement of the happiness you were both feeling.

Jeno never let go of your hand, and there was a short moment of comforting silence where you two sat in each other’s existence. You were the one to break it, “are you doing anything after this?”

He shook his head. “Well then, you’re mine for the rest of the night. We’re going to pretend we’ve been close friends since first year and eat take-out on my bed because that’s what I need at the moment.”

“I know you respect my body and see this as an art form, but I’m genuinely surprised that you didn’t feel aroused at the slightest.”

Jeno didn’t even realize how much time had already passed being you. You two ate and chatted as if you’ve known each other forever, as if the friendship wasn’t established several hours ago. It felt safe and right, like you two belonged in each other’s existence and nowhere else mattered.

He felt warm inside from your hearty laughter and courage, like he was watching a painting come to life or a photo in movement. You were smitten over how endearing and complex he was. He was more than what meets the eye and that alone drew you towards him.

“Okay, I’ll admit,” Jeno paused to watch your reaction, “in the most respectable way, I was somewhat turned on. But! Before you trail blaze me for being just like every disgusting male in your life, I genuinely didn’t have any sexual thoughts during the photoshoot. That was all professional and it will continue to be like that.”

Getting up from your bed, your mind was working at lightspeed to process his confession. Jeno was fast to pick up someone’s personality, what stood out and what was kept hidden. He knew quicker than anyone else that you were not someone to offend because you were a strong, straight forward woman.

His personality breakdown went like this: you knew what you like, you knew you were going to get what you want, you enjoyed flirty banter (with people of your choice), you weren’t afraid to be blunt, or kick someone’s ass. You carried yourself with confidence that graced your every step, which makes anyone attracted to you instantly. Bold, confident, sexy had to be what came to mind whenever he thought about you.

Nonetheless, he really liked you as a person. He could pat himself on the back all day long for just approaching you, but he knew the real reason as to how this all happened. It was you saying yes to a stranger’s odd photoshoot. You made him the luckiest man in the world.

“Continue? Are you looking for excuses to keep seeing me?” You smirked and Jeno’s voice grew small.

“I--- uh, well,” there goes the nervous stammering, “I know the conditions were a one time thing, so I understand if you don’t want to do it again.” As the night had progressed, Jeno gradually began to hold eye contact and actually looked at you directly without the help of seeing you through a lens. This was the first time he broke it.

“Hey now, I’m messing with you, Jeno.” He had been sitting on your floor, at the end of your bed. You crawled on your elbows to reach him, and to hold his chin to face you again. Deja vu. “I’d love to get naked for you again, and again, and.. as many times as you want me to.”

He stared at you with his mouth hung open in disbelief. His eyes scanned your beautiful face to see your lips pull back into a mischievous smile. Gulping, he swallowed every ounce of courage he had left. “You don’t have to say it like that.” He tried to remove your grip, but it latched onto his hand.

“You’re finally looking me in the eye, sweet thing. I don’t think you realize how much I had been wanting that from you.” You caressed his cheek, rubbing small circles on his texture.

“What else do you want from me?” His implication sounded suggestive, even if his curiosity was innocent.

Your hot breath brushed against Jeno’s lips. “I can show you.”

Jeno, the one and only college guy who has seen your naked body in a non-sexual context. Jeno, the shy, sweet boy who appreciated and recognized you as a form of art. Jeno, the talented and skillful photographer, who consistently made sure you felt comfortable. Jeno, the only person in the world who you’d model nude for. Jeno, the dazzling character behind the camera who you wanted more than anyone else you’ve ever met. Lee Jeno.

He seemed like he was inching closer, already tilting his head to fit your’s. You smiled to yourself, seeing that your words were received well. Diving in, your lips swam together fervently.

The poor boy found himself lost in your enchanting, alluring gaze. He let the trance consume him, selfishly kissing the art he admired so dearly. A small part of him felt the guilt and confusion that began to rise. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wished to feel your lips on his neck, or run his hands across your hot skin. He swore these thoughts were not present earlier.

A small pop! and Jeno held your shoulder to pull away. “I’m sorry, did I do something?” You asked, honestly concerned that you were taking more than you deserved. The least you desired was to hurt Jeno, who had been nothing but nice and sweet.

“(Y/N),” you could listen to your name roll off his tongue all day, “I feel somewhat guilty. I don’t want things to be misunderstood.”

“Which would be?”

“I don’t want you to think I coerced you into being my model just because I had intentions to sleep with you.” Jeno was already gathering his things, but you hopped off your bed and placed a hand on his chest. “Because that’s what it’s starting to look like at the moment.”

“Was that something you did though? Did you have those intentions?” Your stare bore right through him. The warmth of your hand relaxed his racing heart.

“Never, (Y/N), I would never do that to someone.” Your hand traveled down to grab his belongings and tossed it back onto the ground.

He silently watched as you took off your pants, and stood in front of him in your underwear. “Then, we’re fine. I know your intentions have always been pure. But truthfully, Jeno, seeing you focused while you worked sparked something in me. You don’t understand how aroused I got and how badly I wanted you to fuck me on that bed.” His hand trailed up your exposed thighs, finally touching your softness. “You’re the one guy I wanted first, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that.”

“I-- I don’t know what to say.” His cheeks revealed how embarrassed he was, but his dark, lustful eyes were telling a different story.

A smirk fell upon your face, “then don’t say anything.”

Jeno devoured you, inhaling the light hint of vanilla that still lingered. He hoisted you onto your mattress and kissed you like his life depended on it. His antsy hands roamed your free range, exploring, holding, gripping the parts he marveled over. Small moans from the back of your throat encouraged him to continue.

No one has ever kissed you with the amount of passion Jeno did. It was gentle, with enough vigor to cause your panties to dampen. It wasn’t sloppy, where previous guys had a problem of missing your mouth entirely and slobbered your chin.

His lips worshiped you, highlighting your good sides. Flashes of the photoshoot popped into Jeno’s head as he left purple marks on the places he loved capturing the most. He pushed up your shirt, exposing your chest to him again. His tongue circled around your hard nipple as he made sure to give the same amount of attention to each one.

Jeno knew he was too shy to hold your intense stare, but getting to know you during and after the photoshoot, he could see the softness in your gaze. He was, now, able to see all of you. The sight of you through the camera was addicting enough, so finally taking you all in was more than satisfying.

Your hands ran through his hair as he kissed down your torso. His thumbs hooked the waistband of your underwear, and peeled it off your body. You gasped as the cold air from your apartment grazed against your exposed figure.

Jeno paused to admire your glistening pussy, “would it be okay if you let me make love to you?”

Your heart burned, not out of embarrassment, but at how he still managed to ask you for your permission in the sweetest way. You rested your weight on your elbows, “no one has done that before, would it actually make me want to fall in love with you?”

“It wouldn’t be too bad. I have a lot of love to give and you look like a person who deserves all of it anyways.” Jeno’s finger ran over your wet slit and rubbed your clit slowly.

Your moans filled the room as the electric jolted throughout your veins. The wetness grew, seeping out of you like a waterfall. Jeno dropped down to his knees, and lifted your legs on his broad shoulders.

“Are you usually this wet, baby?”

Chuckling, you smiled at his bold choice in using pet names, “Just for you.”

He hummed, chiming at how he liked your answer. Spreading you open, his tongue met with your swollen bud that begged for his licks.

His tongue darted side to side, up and down and in result, your back arched in pleasure and a darkness clouded your mind. His name and mindless profanities streamlined their way out of you as Jeno ate you out in such a precisely delicious way.

Grabbing a fist full of hair, you pulled him closer, even if there was no more space to fill. Looking down, you two exchanged glances before he thrusted a finger into you. Your hips bucked harder as he eased in another one.

Jeno curled his fingers in search of your sweet spot and found it when a deep moan escaped your throat. His fingertips rubbed and pressed into your plush flesh, causing you to practically scream and squirm in his mouth.

He suckled your clit and fingered you simultaneously and quickly. The pleasure was overflowing and you released his hair to grip your sheets below you. Your legs shook and trembled as he had no caution to stop.

“Please, I’m going to--” you could barely talk due to your face contouring to the splurge of pleasure every single time Jeno rubbed your spot. “--to explode.”

He had to take back what he thought earlier in the day. This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever laid eyes on. The whole scene played like from one of his favorite films. It felt like he was giving his photos life. Your body twisted and turned, accentuating the curves of your lines.

Jeno had become painfully hard against the fabric of his jeans, but seeing you fall apart because of his minimal movements exhilarated him. “P-Please, don’t stop.” A breathy moan followed suit and your thighs tried to press themselves together. Jeno didn’t allow it, his free hand hooked underneath your left thigh to pull one side away from his cheeks.

Your high gradually grew so tall that it all eventually came cascading down. Your legs shook violently and sat up from the euphoria that took over you. Jeno prolonged your buzz and you screamed loudly, having to bite down on your fingers to stop yourself from angering your neighbors.

Jeno drank you up, letting your wetness cover his chin and drip down his knuckles. He pulled away, at last, and you took deep breaths to control your heavy breathing. It was like Jeno knocked the wind completely out of you.

He stood up and you saw the outline of his hard bulge straining itself through his jeans. The next scene was quite animalistic. You, still embodying your high, sat on your knees and unzipped his pants with your needy hands.

“Now, it’s your turn to get nude for me.” You whispered, tauntingly. Jeno groaned when you reached down and gently pulled him out. He stepped out of his clothing, all of it. His shirt was lost in the corner and his bottoms were scattered over your floor. Mirroring his actions, you took off your last piece of cloth.

Jeno was built. Though his biceps did not go unnoticed during the photoshoot, you were surprised at the lines of muscle that sketched his body. It made your mouth water, seeing his extremely hard dick stand against his toned abs. His red tip fell just below his navel. Jeno only kept getting better as the night continued on.

Pulling him closer, his hand found their way to the back of your head as you aligned your mouth to the wetness that spilled from his tip. “I want to make you feel good.” Jeno’s hoarse voice made your knees weak.

Peering up, you batted your eyelashes at him fondly. “Just a little taste?” You begged, having to hold his shaft with both of your hands because of his thickness. Your tongue was already stuck out, your hot breath causing the tiniest bit of sensation for him.

He nodded and his eyes were trained on you. He didn’t want to miss any second of your kitty licks. You flattened your tongue against his warmth, dragging it up to the top. The saltiness hit your palette as you swirled around his redness. “Oh--” Jeno threw his head back and bit his lip, “--lay on the bed now.”

You smiled sweetly and gave his member a quick kiss before reaching for a condom in your drawer. Jeno climbed onto your bed and situated the rubber comfortably. You laid on your back and he was fast to pull your legs around his waist.

He lined himself at your entrance and eased his tip in slowly. Squirming, you craved him to fill you up to the brim. He leaned down to kiss you, letting your tongue lap with his. It’s your hands with the mind of their own when they flew automatically to hold his face whenever you wanted to deepen the kiss. Then, Jeno stretched himself all the way in and he caught your gasp with his lips. He groaned, feeling the mess he created merely minutes ago.

His hips moved so easily with your wetness, but he went slow. Dragging out each pull and then, pushing himself back in roughly. “Jeno!” Your body jolted up the bed each time. His body fell over yours to hold you intimately, letting you bury your face into his neck. Your lips latched themselves onto his sensitive skin, painting a purple sunset.

Jeno’s arms snaked underneath your thighs as he pressed them to your chest, folding you almost into a ball. Your mouth hung open as he fucked you harder, rougher, deeper yet keeping the tempo rhythmically slow. At this point, you could feel his hits in your gut. Your weak hands gripped loosely around his strong wrists that held your legs down. “You’re pussy is so tight and holy shit---, you keep getting more beautiful.”

A familiar burning sensation set in your chest as you saw how concentrated his face had become. You were so fucked out that you could barely speak, “you—” his hips mercilessly slammed into you powerfully, enacting a low moan every time he reached your sweet spot. “—keep surprising me.” His actions came to a halt and he stared deeply into your soul.

You whined, wiggling your hips for any friction. He held them down into the mattress, knowing his grip was strong enough to leave a mark. “I told you, I was going to make love to you tonight.”

“I’ve already fallen for you.” You said breathlessly, tracing the side of his face and pecking his lips softly.

“You don’t understand what you’re doing to me by saying those things.” He whispered and pushed his entire shaft to fill you to your brim.

You yelped his name and gripped his shoulders, but he wasn’t done yet. “Show me how badly you wanted me the first time you saw me.” Jeno blinked at you in slight shock.

As he continued to hold the deep gaze, he kept pushing his dick further and further into you. He was balls deep, almost impossible to keep going. He fucked you without the need to pull out, just burying his cock deeper into your wet pussy. You exclaimed, moaned, cussed at every push. Holding the stare was more than enough to lose yourself all over him again.

Jeno was drunk with the image of your fucked out expression and every time the mixture of pleasure and pressure caused your eyebrows to crease and mouth to open release sensual sound. He had been trying his best not to come undone, to fixate another climax for you.

The feeling of you wrapping tighter and tighter around him drove him insane. “Give it to me, please.” Your muffled plead called for his release, but he could feel that you were close to your second.

Jeno sat up on his knees and pulled you into his arms where your thighs fell over his. You groaned at the empty feeling, though it was quickly replaced with a gratifying moan when he inserted himself again. Your arms dangled around his neck, foreheads touching intimately.

The fucking eye contact again, how could you get enough of it? You giggled, amused at how different Jeno was when he eventually opened up. He wrapped his strong arms around your back and thrusted his hips up into you. The way this man made you squirm, scream, and shake were nothing you’ve experienced before.

He smirked, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek when he went rampage on your pussy. “Not laughing now, are you?”

You whined in pleasure, brushing your fallen strands of hair out of his face. “Shut up before I make you.”

“Then I’d rather keep going.” Kissing up his jawline, you lead your way to his pout. His kisses intoxicated you with his passion and madness, like the most intense part of a symphony, or when the bass drops after a long build up in a song.

Jeno sped up, ramming up into your slick pussy over and over again. He even brought your hips down to match him, guiding you down as he went up. The headboard was knocked against the wall, your windows steamed up, cries of pleasure from the both of you created the ambiance, the smell of sex filled your lungs. Jeno reached between your bodies to furiously rub your clit to where it felt almost raw. It all sent you into the clouds, the familiar queasiness settled in your lower half.

Your eyes rolled back and your back arched, having to pull away from the desirous kiss with Jeno. “I’m cumming!” You announced before the tension unraveled, causing you to see absolute white. The second wave was much more uncontrollable, Jeno felt you squeezing radically around his dick as he tried to fuck you faster to prolong the feeling.

Your legs shook around his and your upper body went limp with pleasure. You reached the peak of the mountain and it came crumbling down underneath your toes. It was catastrophically enthralling, to the point where you physically felt something leave your body.

“Oh shit..” Jeno stopped his motions at the sight of you squirting over his lap. He pampered your torso with fluttering kisses, hoping to calm your spastic body. “...baby, are you okay?” He asked with a bit of concern of how lack of life you seemed.

This man just gave you the best climax in your whole life and he asked if you were okay? Regaining your senses, you sighed a small yes to reassure him that he didn’t actually murder you. Hopping off, you pulled the condom that restricted him.

He hissed when you cupped his balls in your palm. “Cum, my sweet thing.” You purred and Jeno’s hand pumped his member aggressively. You leaned in to help, sucking the tip and flicking your tongue over his slit.

His other hand gripped your neck, causing you to drip on your sheets. Jeno was panting and with every tug, it became louder. He seemed so desperate to release that it made you smile to be the reason behind it. “Can you lay down,” A grunt followed his question, “please.” He huffed.

“Because you asked nicely.” Smirking, your back hit the sheets and you opened your legs to give Jeno a view. He situated himself above your stomach, as he fucked his tight grip.

“I’m cumming---” He couldn’t look any more amazing. With a final moan, the white streaks streamed out in short sequences. It landed across your abdomen, over your nipple, and pooled around your belly button.

Bringing himself back to reality, Jeno stepped back to marvel you, his masterpiece. The white streaks coated your purple skin and your chest rose fast to catch your reality. Gazing upon your naked body, he was utterly infatuated with all of you. He was so in love with the sight of you that not a single photo could capture the beauty that you were.

Jeno pondered the thought of how merely a day changed a small part of him. You were life changing, addicting, an incomparable character that he felt like he’s known forever, and now, couldn’t live without. It was the taste of your juices on his lips, your sweet melodic music that was your voice, your daring smile that enticed him to never peel away from you. It was simply you.

He leaned down to rub his knuckles against your cheek, planting a lovingly peck on your forehead. “I’ll go start the water for you.”

Jeno anticipated the reaction of his mentor. He found himself at the same scene he was when he was first given the task. Taemin sat across from him, hunched forward to analyze his new set of photos on his laptop. Raw, unedited photos of you, your body, your details.

The hum of the air conditioning droned on, driving him mad. Jeno needed one reaction, but Taemin had been silent and expressionless for the past ten minutes. Whenever he did move, it was to click through to the next picture.

Suddenly, he shut it closed and stood right up. Jeno, panicked, did the same. Taemin stuck his hand out and Jeno hesitantly grabbed it, incredibly unsettled and unable to read the older man.

Taemin received it firmly, giving Jeno a good handshake. “Welcome abroad, Lee Jeno. I expect even more great things from you.”

Jeno registered his delightful mood switch and he was fast to follow up, “my photos, --- you --- like them?”

Taemin nodded generously, patting Jeno on his shoulder. Taemin reached up to tap his own eyelids. “What you can see, is very special, kid. You’re an artist and I’m here to recognize that for you. It seems to me, you can do more than take pictures of sidewalks.”

Jeno smiled happily, his eyes disappearing from joy. He couldn’t wait to tell you about it.

The rest of the week, leading up to Jeno’s appointment, had felt nothing short of blissful moments together. You and Jeno spent almost every waking minute together without the cost of your friends’ time. He walked you to your classes, some even being across the campus from his own. You accompanied him for meals, even sitting in his lectures to just be with him.

There were no words that established what you two had become to each other. Jeno wasn’t looking for that anyways, in fact, he somewhat liked the ambiguity. If only he could tell you how making love to you made him begin to actually fall for you.

You were never one to hold a serious relationship, but you found a small want for that festering in Jeno. It was hard to admit to yourself, but Jeno saw you for all that you were. He truly saw you, whether it had been through a lens or through his own eyes. He captured your rawness and you were able to find vulnerability around him.

He ran to you, where you sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish his meeting. Peering up from your phone, you noticed the beaming smile on the boy’s face. You couldn’t hold back your own grin, seeing him apparent with so much joy. “I’m guessing good things?”

“I got it, (Y/N)!” He jumped into your arms and you laughed at the sudden affection. “He loved my photos.”

“I didn’t doubt it for one second. You’re an artist, Jeno. You create masterpieces that make even someone like me, feel like art.”

Jeno hugged you closer to his chest, giving you a tiny squeeze. Pulling away to face you, his eyes examined your outstanding grace. You knew what he was already going to say, but simply wanted to hear him say it. “That’s because you are art.”

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