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#i changed and now i'm really Me. so no. i don't regret any of it. not really. even the bad i did. even the times i made other people hurt.
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Ok this is my first time requesting but, what about the characters reacting to MC choosing the evil route and to absorb the ancient magic?
HLC REACT TO MC ABSORBING DARK ANCIENT MAGIC
WARNING: angst, canon death
All the power Isadora stored found its rightful place, inside MC. The chaos of the final battle settled to an eerie silence. MC had never felt such clarity. The magic truly was nothing to fear. It was theirs to wield. To control. The very fabric of reality bent to their will. This wasn't a bad thing. No. Everything was going to be just fine.
ELEAZAR FIG: He can barely breath as he watches MC fight to control the magic around them. He couldn't reach out to them. He feared they wouldn't listen if he could at that point anyway. He watched the red ink like magic enter MC. He saw their eyes... What had they become? "I'm sorry I...failed you...M-..." Death claims him in his final moment of sorrow.
SEBASTIAN SALLOW: He's taken aback by MC's sudden insistence about curing Anne. They went from "I'm not even sure I can do what Isadora did" to "I CAN CURE ANNE" overnight. They seem manic, wide eyed and a bit... unhinged. He would be thrilled to hear this but MC's sudden shift in energy has him unsettled. Besides, Anne isn't in Feldcroft anymore and Ominis isn't speaking to him. He's not sure what to do.
OMINIS GAUNT: He regrets letting it slip that he was in contact with Anne. MC is now demanding to see her. They don't sound themselves. Their very presence feels "off". He can't quite explain it. He starts avoiding them as well. Not that it seems to help, he discovers his dorm has been raided. Letters to and from Anne stolen.
ANNE SALLOW: She's in a quiet cottage far south of Hogwarts valley. She's alone, trying to find peace, when there is a sudden knock at the door. She raises her wand. She's not expecting visitors. She hears a familiar voice on the other side. "MC? What are you doing here? How did you find me?"
MC enters and politely closes the door behind them. They look at her with a smile that should seem friendly, but there is malicious intent in their eyes. "Stay back!" She tries to shout but the curse surges with pain and she grabs her side. While she's distracted MC wordlessly expells her wand and taps their own wand to her chest.
She sits at the table next to the fire. There is no pain. Yet, there is no relief. No joy. Nothing...
IMELDA REYES: MC isn't challenging her to race anymore. They seemed to have lost all interest in competing. Even when she instigates them, they just smile at her with this really unsettling smile and say it's a waste. They had "bigger plans" whatever that means. She always knew they were a bit weird, but this was completely out of character.
NATSAI ONAI: MC suddenly didn't seem like the person she thought she knew. They would ask her if she was still in pain from the crusiotus curse and seem way too interested in "taking her pain away". She didn't understand why they suddenly seemed so obsessed with her pain. Then the questions became inappropriate, asking about her emotional pain. Like when she lost her father. She's less interested in being around them after that, but she keeps seeing MC out of the corner of her eye.
GARRETH WEASLEY: MC seemed strangely distant since the goblin attack. He would try to involve them in more of his experiments, like they used to, but they refuse every time. Then they would get rude that they had "real magic" to perform, not "alchemical party tricks". He's not sure what he had done to offend them, but he's sorely disappointed that he lost what he thought was a friend.
LEANDER PREWETT: He hears whispers. Rumors that MC is behaving differently. He can see it too, even from a distance. MC destroying things for fun, having no regard for any school work or activities, casting spells that seem WAY too strong for any fifth year. He decides to just steer clear.
AMIT THAKKAR: He's been hearing MC talking to themselves, muttering about change. Change that didn't sound like anything good. If he asked, they'd just tell him "You'll see". They're being cryptic and creepy and he doesn't like it. He doesn't even see them in class anymore. He doesn't know where he'll see them again, but he jumps every time they seem to appear out of nowhere.
EVERETT CLOPTON: He's so far out of the loop that he doesn't understand what's going on. He knows about the goblin attack, everyone does, but MC is suddenly acting like a crazy person? Hogwarts favorite person to talk about seems to be cracking. Shame. He liked them.
POPPY SWEETING: She notices that even the beasts are acting differently around MC. They seem frightened. They can sense something is very wrong with MC. She tries to gently broach the subject and MC nearly takes her head off with defensive rage, their eyes flashing red. Then their mood rapidly shifts to apologize. She backs away. Stay away from her.
MC: They'll all see. I am the answer. I am the truth. I am the end AND the new beginning. There is no good or evil, only power.
They'll all see
They'll all see
T̴̢̘̀h̸̛̟͔͆͠ẻ̴̠̀͝y̵͕͂̾'̶̝͈͇͒͐l̴̜̙͛̈́̇l̸̲̳̻̉̇͛ ̸̤͓͓͝ã̷̠̪ḷ̶̡̀̆̆l̵̗͓̅̓̋ ̴̜̣̏s̸̨̈̆̅ë̷͓́e̶͍͇͐͌͝
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blackstarchanx3new · 3 days
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FSR rambles 20
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If you go with the viz translation, Green might have considered he had to kill Vio in that fight lmfao.
I lean very much on he wasn't going to and wanted to just knock his ass out but the flicker of "Oh shit. I might have to do something horrible" is still a present thought added here.
Since we KNOW Vio has a scar from Blue tossing that rock, and Blue even brought up he wonders how bad Green's scar is Green clutching his stomach here is uhhhh. Concerning haha.
Not beating the "Vio fucked up your stomach" allegations there Green.
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Dark Link might have not really gotten the POINT of Green remembering this fight.
or maybe he's just too distracted to care.
Green's fucking face when Dark says "I LIKE VIO TOO!" gets a fucking laugh out of me because holy shit he looks pissed.
Like the audacity of that statement given everything is so funny.
Dark flipping hair colors depending on who he's imitating/talking about is just a fun visual detail and makes me very happy this comic is in color.
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Jealousy...It's best served with Depression From Dark Link.
Because dude just keeps sinking back into a depressive state. It's almost like Dark just, doesn't want to talk about himself at all with Green.
He'd rather Green talk about himself/his experiences.
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SOooo since I'm here to give all the answers:
"Why WAS Dark crying in this scene?"
Cause of Vio.
He was crying Vio's tears.
His hair has changed to vio's color, and he doesn't even realize he's crying till Green points it out.
There's also the idea he didn't realize Green was TALKING to him since he's not used to being noticed.
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Hehe flashback.
So something to note: Blue didn't talk to vio, but just came to sit with him...Weird.
I'm sure there will never be a follow up about that weird detail and it was thrown in for absolutely no reason. :D
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So to loop back in on why Dark Link was crying, Vio is just, busted up on the inside about all the bullshit with Shadow Link.
But isn't really allowing himself to express that in any real way.
I added this in cause I felt we didn't get much closure on all the bullshit Vio did in the OG manga due to time. So, here ya go haha.
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haha guts spilled.
Vio really sums it up though. He "did" a lot of things by taking NO action. The guilt of inaction is haunting him HARD right now and it's just eating him up inside.
A continuous motif is when shown anything involving what Vio did to Shadow his face is obscured or not detailed, pitch black in shadows.
In this scene it's goopy which just adds this suffocating feel to his actions and words.
Vio's literally drowning in regret over his actions and can't reconcile with what he did.
Smth I honestly think the all ages rating completely holds back on us in the OG. Like I don't need over the top "oh nooo what have I become" but a LITTLE acknowledgement that vio watched Shadow (or at least it's heavily implied) kill people and outright text that he watched Shadow burn a forest would be nice.
We didn't see much of the consequences of Vio's actions even in just a self reflective idea despite them being SO HEAVILY FEATURED in the og manga.
Like we see the actions. We get no real closure for how vio is feeling about it. It's so odd.
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Agh. So many emotions so hard to articulate the stuff behind them. XD
Green watching back on a past memory with just, a forlorn look on his face.
Dark is STILL crying and Green goes to wipe away his tears which just oomf.
Dark and Green's relationship is one I love VERY MUCH from a LOT of angles.
In a lot of ways in this scene specifically Dark is a stand in for Vio.
Green's wiping away Vio's tears from Dark. But it's still a sweet action regardless. He's showing kindness to an entity that hasn't been all that kind to him.
And on that note: Dark Link hasn't received much kindness from ANYONE.
Shadow's was basically entirely veiled in watching his own trauma from Vaati being thrown back in his face.
But there's not really strings attached to this action from Green. He's just wanting to comfort Dark, presumably as we'll see in a second BECAUSE he feels he failed when comforting Vio.
Anyway back to Vio and Green lmfao. I had too much to say about 2 panels of DarkGreen.
Vio questioning if Green hates him after this shit is a punch to the gut.
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Haha guilt.
Guilt.
GUILT.
Green in FS just kinda fucked off and said "Screw them I don't care" when he was split up from them. (A reasonable response after so much bullshit lmfao)
but in doing so it opened him up to feeling a LOT of guilt over what DID go horribly wrong.
And it all sank in in this moment.
And current Green just watching back with sadness while giving Dark affection just aghhhh.
Pain. All I know is PAIN.
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Honesty, togetherness. Pls kiss-
But as morbid as Green's words are it's true. Whether they succeed or fail at least they're together now.
Doesn't mean he's not still scared as hell.
This is the kind of characterization I wish we got from green in the og.
Like his bad leadership skills aren't really addressed in an impactful way outside of him fucking off for a bit haha. Which is never really brought up again after the pyramid bit and it only does in relation to how it affected HIM and not his team as a whole.
Green being more open about how he's a flawed leader is just smth I enjoyed adding.
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*Laughs in Vioxgreen*
And I'm not sorry either.
Funny how HERE Vio is talking about the downside of being Link while in current day he's the one who wants to go back to that...
Just a fun food for thought thing.
The kiss is very much spurred from "Damn you're being nice to me rn."
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Think you broke him there Vio.
Vio's no fucks given attatude really does boil down to "I've made so many mistakes what's another one" when it came to kissing Green.
Not that Green minded much haha.
Also hilarious you make such a disgusted face at the notion of smooching Shadow Link when page 358 is a moment green-
but yeah Vio's self loathing is on full display here and green's just like "Nah bro. but...you're a good boy-"
Smth I enjoy about Vio is just how much ANY link could be like him if they had enough removed from them.
Vio as a character to me is very much a side of Link that is completely willing to do ANYTHING to succeed and has NOTHING holding him back. Resulting in a very "not like link" link character.
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The deadpan way Vio describes what he DID to Shadow Link.
Like in a lot of ways he's just. Numb. Like he's just dissociating with own actions.
It's less of a "Realization" that they're gonna have to deal with Shadow again at some point but the reminder still stings.
There's smth to be said on how I find a lot of people boil down the "Vidow is toxic thing" way to much and basically try to strip the convo of any nuance at ALL.
Here's an idea: They're both victims and perpetrators and they both care about each other but surprise surprise, being on two ends of the hero villain spectrum they were fucked from the start.
Vio lists what he did to Shadow here but Shadow was no fucking saint news flash: THEY TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER. :D
They both did shitty as hell things to each other cause circumstances fucked them BOTH OVER.
Shadow: Pressured this bitch into joining him and DID NOT take NO for an answer and oh yeah tried to kill him when it turned out vio lied to him-
Literally wtf was Vio supposed to do when Shadow showed up in the woods. Pretending to be on his side just to not DIE if this massive lighting using man child decided to throw a fit if he kept saying no. Their entire team got wasted to shit by this guy and he tried to kill green at the start of the mangaaaaa.
it's almost like coercion is bad or smth...
Imo it's clear they care about each other it's freakin' circumstance that fucked them both over.
In terms of what they did to EACH OTHER I'd say Vidow is pretty even on that board. (If we don't count what Shadow did to other people in which, lmfao Shadow, the bad guy character is clearly more evil)
I have a lot of thoughts about Vidow lmfao.
I happen to like the fact they're a doomed romance I can give a happier and worse ending but that's just me-
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Green and Vio after kissing:
😳
but yeah lol thanks for your input Green I'm sure Vio appreciates it. XD
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Haha very funny Vio.
Though there is smth to be said about how Vio spent who knows how long sleeping next to Shadow Link that sleeping alone after that would be weird.
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Oh Green. Sweet Sweet Green.
THE FUCK ELSE WERE YOU MEANT TO DO!?
ENLIGHTEN US PLEASE!?
Thank you dark for telling him affectively to stfu.
Dark's eyes being white with Blue is very unnerving and I like it. XDD
I'm just gonna say it:
I am in love with the last panel for a LOT of reasons.
So many.
Like idk where to even start holy shit.
1st of all: Dark giving green the flower. I've shit posted he wanted Green to eat it but that's not a joke lmfao.
2nd of all: Dark Link being a sweetie not only in his actions but his words. It was very fun to write him with someone he truly deeply respects.
Vaati he considers too dumb to live and Shadow he straight up thinks is the evilest entity alive. Zelda he barely interacted with and I've given my thoughts on them I think but like, there's not enough there to really deeply dive into yet.
Green, GREEN IS SOMEONE HE OUTRIGHT LIKES! And we get to actually see Green and Dark interact for an extended period UNLIKE Dark and Zelda. (I will have a LOT to say about them later lmfao)
And what Dark is saying here just, is the truth. Green is downplaying what he did MAJORLY, and Dark getting him back into a realistic sense of what is even feasible for one person to do is a welcome thing.
Overall I'm very happy with the dialogue I ended up with being "You did what you could with what you knew, that's all anyone could ask of you."
It's words I think a lot of people need to hear at one point or another.
Also, Dark Link is in a very similar boat AS GREEN. Vaati puts insane expectations on him and acts like he's a failure for not meeting them. Dark hasn't quite been hit with the "i'm not good enough" stick yet to take any of that seriously but they are in a similar boat of having the weight of their own worlds on their shoulders.
This is an experience he can actually RELATE to Green on in his own way.
In a lot of ways, darks lack of insecurity, and him kind standing up for Green here is a reflection of how he doesn’t view himself as a failure despite being treated like one. He's seen failure and doesn't deem Green or himself failures and won't beat around the bush in saying as much.
Overall I think the point that Dark makes, that sometimes there is nothing else you can do. And digging yourself into a guilt hole is not helping. Reminding yourself "I did what I could with what I knew" is a good thing to keep close to your heart. I think that point feels very strong coming from him. XD
You as a single person can't fix everything and you shouldn't have to.
Dark's infamous bitching about Vaati doing NOTHING while he does all the work, and him saying to Green "Bro you did the best you can" feels so personal and well indented coming from him. Which ah, has been so lacking in someone who thus far has been around people like Shadow and Vaati. XD
3rd of all:
This highlights an aspect of Dark that has been, rather shrouded in a questionable variable.
If he can TRUELY be a helpful entity or if he's only really evil. Obviously there's clues that Dark is more than what he seemed at first since he uttered that he wanted kisses and cuddles lmfao.
But this highlights the "Dark is a fucked up therapist" angle.
Lastly this whole interaction just stands out as smth that doesn't benefit Dark in a single way. In fact it might actually be a detriment to him.
One of his self described tasks is to destroy their mentality so they can't do anything to Vaati. But respects Green too much to not say smth when Green is being an idiot towards himself. XD
Having Dark being a nuanced character is smth I enjoy a lot because he's just so complicated. Shadow's whole "I'm the hero link think" didn't go beyond basically just jabbing at Link there was a dude with his face running around being bad and reveled in being bad.
But I like exploring a character who TRUELY thinks they are like Link and not just doing it as a jab. Dark's delusions that he IS a good hero is what makes him so fun to me. (I do like Shadow's characterization but making Dark and Shadow substantially different from each other was the goal. XD)
Cause Dark Link's thoughts that he's a hero aren't skin deep or just him talking himself up vs Shadow. Dark's mind is constantly contradicting itself to what he's supposed to be doing.
His main goal often defaulting to just wanting connection with others even if it kinda bites his other goals in the ass. Cause dude is lonely as hell as well as depressed and connecting with others kind of becomes his main driving force vs his actual purpose. XD
Suffice to say: I like this one panel a lot and DarkGreen as a whole means a lot to me from a story standpoint not just pure shipping fodder. XD (Even though unironically I do think they're one of the best ships in the comic from a dynamic standpoint.)
I think Dark is an important character in EVERYONE progressing their development in FSR and I do like how he's so flexible as to be a good foil or nudge characters in certain directions.
Darkgreen as a dynamic specifically just hits good cause of how it feeds into Green's arc of accepting help and listening to the fact he's not a failure and that this time, he doesn't have to pile things on his own shoulders and he can rely on his team. (Which is similar to his arc from the manga but the twist here is that he feels he needs to bare the weight of being the team leader.)
Dark kind of ended up being a "Safe" person to talk about his anxieties about.
Which is very ironic.
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Lmfao. Green wasn't expecting that at ALL from this dude.
panel 2 is funny cause haha more funny out of pocket things Dark says involving "romance" (His urge to be close to people)
The "huh?" "Huh?" back and forth is inspired by smth in AOT lmfao go figure but two characters "huh?" ing at each other just gets a laugh out of me.
Like they're both confused to shit.
Green especially must have a ton of crap going on up there because this dude is ALL OVER THE PLACE during this conversation but admitting "Hey I'd want you to kiss me too" is probs the weirdest part lmfao.
The absurdity and audacity is just, laughable.
I don't remember who exactly Dark is quoting but I know SOMEONE said "Shadow link's a really bad guy" (I really wanna say it is green lol) and I thought it'd be funny if Dark repeated them here considering the circumstances. XD
It sounds childish as fuck but also cements WHY Dark doesn't like Shadow Link immediately at least in context to Green. Since Green doesn't know anything about their scuffle.
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Of course Green pries a bit because figuring out Dark and Shadow got beef is...interesting to say the least.
He saw Shadow shaking him like a magic 8 ball so he's not THAT surprised but still that's weird.
Dark fundamentally seems to not really understand why he pissed Shadow off or he's being obtuse on purpose. Take your pick. Either way he's very to the point on him perceiving Green as "Hating" Shadow Link.
When in reality it's a lot more complicated than that.
Green also catches Dark refers to himself as a hero here which, confuses him but also intrigues him a bit.
Since I'm pretty sure this is the first time Dark has proclaimed himself to be a hero in Green's presence. XD
And considering Green's context: That's a wild ass thing to say.
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I think it's interesting Green feels safe enough to confide in Dark at all...
Or you could take it how I kinda thought and by mere proxy of Dark not really being someone he can't afford to not let down, he can be honest about his feelings.
The other 3 colors and Shadow he has to have an heir of control and leadership around. Dark, doesn't expect squat from him, Dark is kinda their enemy...and he isn't someone Green needs to have a mask around.
Dark also giving him wiggle room to feel safe for that second I think Green just kinda, broke and wanted to talk about his feelings with SOMEONE and that SOMEONE just happens to be the nightmare monster that's a mental terror.
I think he's also lowkey defensive about why he's still a bit ehhhhh relationship wise with Shadow Link. XD
Because Green's wording here is WEIRD
"Nothing was the same after...ALL of it." - is more in reference to their entire journey and while Dark is the curse destroying their head Green can't blame him for shit that SHADOW did to make them mentally unwell as hell haha.
Like...Well the things Green describes above.
SPECIFICALLY the "You didn't laugh while me and Vio nearly killed each other" is...AMUSING because Dark did just watch kinda in surprise at that lmfao. His take away from that fight was "You like Vio? I like vio too. ^w^"
Green's not aware that Dark did uh, goofy things involving vio at the start of this comic haha.
Green's general bitterness towards Shadow makes a ton of sense. As Green puts it, Shadow put them through HELL. And he has every right to be pissed I think even if Shadow helped them in the end.
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1 - It's called denial sweetheart they were both in it last night. XDDDD Vidow be complicated ya just gotta accept it.
2 - I fucking love Dark Link. He's just a treasure. Confused by Vio and Shadow's confusing ass relationship.
3 - Green's got that sexy self reflection to make his opinions nuanced.
4 - Truth.
5 - Dark Link's like "Damn I found a smart boy"
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I do love Green getting shy at Dark Link praising him haha.
The admittion Dark thinks Green is a good hero also gives insight into what Dark THINKS a good hero IS to begin with.
What's fun here is just how different of a character Green is to Vaati or Shadow. Dark Link (At this point) hasn't had anything to berate Green on being hypocritical or weird about. (That wasn't Green's direct insecurities that Dark was just parroting) When in comparison to Vaati or Shadow who are "lying idiots". XD
Green downplays any good things he does while wallowing in his mistakes And Dark's like "...What are you talking about???"
Also Green. That last statement. You shouldn't have said it haha.
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1 - That moment where Dark just, freezes and stops talking and STARES. Greens' like "Uh...you okay" wordlessly.
2. Creepy face.
3. Oh dear it's worse. XD I cannot remove the inflections from that one Lazy town meme "WOULD YOU LIKE TOO!?" and it makes me laugh but Dark's in general just, creepy as hell in these panels.
Also fun time into getting into Dark Link blushing since I don't know if I've gone into that:
Dark Link blushes for a lot of reasons but tends to do it when he's emotionally unstable. And he FOR SURE IS after Green made that throw away statement that he's unable to see into memories.
Dark Link is ALL too eager to share that experience though. For better or for worse.
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I call him a sweaty weirdo for a reason. Dude be sweaty. XD
This entire page is hilarious and horrible for Green but Dark having no emotional filters is the norm for him at this point hah.
The main take away here is that Dark wants a "yes" out of Green when it comes to letting Green see something.
Green's horrified "WHAAAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE!?" is the first time someone's ACTUALLY referenced verbally that Dark makes disturbing expressions. XD
Which is another thing Dark does involuntarily when over excited. Like it's obvious Dark's not a normal human and I don't exactly think the hylian-ish form we see of him is his natural state. I think it's the result of him mimicking Link's appearance.
I think the interesting take away is that Green kinda catches on imediately Dark isn't acting this way to scare or hurt him but just has zero emotional regulation. But who'd fault Green for being scared from this behavior. XD
Dark's dialogue is all sorts of concerning here. Saying "They can watch whatever Green would like", which is very much a push to get Green to watch SOMETHING with him to a point where he doesn't care WHAT it is as long as they do it. But describes the process as "Sickening" which... Seems to throw the idea it'd be "fun" out the window but he proceeds to say "It'll be SO fun we'll both THROW UP"
Which uhhh.
Okay then buddy.
The response Green gives, which is to just gently push Dark off him is a far cry from how Vaati and Shadow treat him physically.
Green's got insane patience.
Which speaking of that, if Dark is ONLY used to physically violent actions towards himself, him shoving Green on the ground and not really thinking about it makes a lot more sense.
I think the most gentle thing someone's done was Shadow and Vaati patting him on the head.
It's funny to me how Dark kind of realizes his behavior was inappropriate from Green's reaction and apologizes. Which, again is smth you wouldn't expect out of your casual evil villain man.
Green comes to the conclusion that Dark is nuttier than a squirrel which...took ya long enough bud XD
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Again Green kind of applies "This is a bad guy who's trying to trick me" logic. Which we know isn't really Dark's style.
Lying is what his DAD does after all-
Dark confusing the words "Catch" with like, the physical action of catching something which is just smth I find cute.
I'm sure I've touched on it before but Dark's conflation of "Fun" and "Pain" has been smth with him from the start of the comic. (Masochist much lmfao)
And on a level he kinda knows it'll make Green miserable to watch something with him but kinda doesn't care and just wants to do it WITH SOMEONE for once. Thus he doesn't want any payment because, well. Asking for payment would be rude.
I just like his completely broken logic on that because it shows how mangled Dark's idea of things like pleasurable and painful experiences are.
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Green's determination is a turn on for Dark apparently.
Just kidding but Green. Green. Awww Green.
That's such a bad idea to look into Vio's memories stop.
Slot machine Dark was just a fun visual I thought would be weird unnerving, kinda funny and match Zelda quirkiness.
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reddiamondyeet · 3 months
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God I am just the exact type of things that everybody loves to mock and see as unacceptable huh
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ihaventsleptinweekz · 5 months
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Sometimes I think I'm a normal person then the 11 pm thought kicks in and suddenly I'm insane
#Going to mildly and vaugly vent in the tags to buckle up ^_^#Will not clarify on any of this because it's more fun not to. Hope that helps#Anyway I'm kind of just. Weirded out by myself rn. Like I'm fine but I'm side-eyeing myself a little bit#And recently I've been believing thay I think really I was more immature a year ago#and while I do think back at her (year ago me) and kinda laugh at her for being overdramatic I feel kinda bad about it because yknow I was#But then I got kind of weirdly slowed down? In my being less freaked out process#Mostly because of Hellenite everyone say thank you hellenite (sarcastic love those fics so much)#But reading the fic kind of reminded me of the emotions that were going on at that time#And while I don't really miss or regret what happened too much anymore I think the general emotions of it started popping up again#Like idk how to say this but I'm over IT as a whole- but the emotions are still kinda left over?#Man really do NOT know how to put this#Cause it's kinda old news and frankly I am wildly happy with where I am right now#And I'm kind of thankful?? But also just a little :I about the whole thing. Which is making me inwardly side-eyeish#And I do think that I probably wouldn't change much if I could- and honestly I'm a little more embarrassed than anything else#Sorry for the weird long rambling tags just didn't want to call either of the like- maybe 3 friends I'd consider bringing this up with#I probably should check in with them though#Ough and I have work to do tmrw#Ew ew ew ew#Feel like this week has gone too damn fast and also not fast enough lmao#I'm also kinda nervous because I might have to take the ASL placement test soon to see if I qualify for skipping a couple ASL classes#Which would be nice cause I would LOVE to graduate quicker#And with all the AP classes I took in high-school it'd be nice to knock a bit of time off my college thing#Although admittedly I DID get that scholarship so it couldn't hurt???#It might actually give me more time to get EIPA certified and check out some internships??#Which would make getting jobs out of college WAY easier#Although maybe it'd be easier to get NIC certified if I retook a couple classes instead of trying to skip them??? God maybe I'd be behind#Ofc that wouldn't be a thing until after college#I'll probably have to save up money soon to start thinking about taking the test since it's so damn hard and so damn expensive#At least from what other interpreters have told me#Which is good!!! The it being hard thing anyways. Makes sure Deaf people get GOOD interpreters thst they deserve!!
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Maybe I just miss havin someone else to blame
#i feel so fucking useless. worthless. i had ONE job n instead i fucked it up n crossed that one line i can't uncross#he'll never forgive me n it's all my own damn fault#don't know how to cope with how there's no way back now. he doesn't even want me anymore he just wants to hurt me#n i kinda wanna let him cause it's all i was ever any good for anyway#just. lie back n let him take it all out on me. as if he ever made it that easy#god what the hell is wrong with me this is fucking pathetic#he was the only one that could make my head quiet the only one i could always go back to. even if he made me regret it every time#i don't know how to change any of this. it can't always be like this can it? somethin's gotta change at some point right?#i need to stop gettin so fucking wasted i make a fool outta myself but. i only feel even sorta okay if i'm drunk#what the fuck am i supposed to do?#i just wanna go home. i thought things would get better now that i'm technically free of him but. i still feel the same. or worse#at least i could keep myself numb most of the time. n i had cherri n nuggs. everyone feels so fucking far away here#n it's probably me not them but. idk how to change anythin. everythin's just wrong.#everythin's always wrong#i'm so fucking tired n sleep doesn't change a fucking thing#i guess maybe val was right. there's nothin out here for someone like me. what he gave me was the best i could get n i shoulda just m#*appreciated it instead of always complaining#idk how long i can keep myself from goin back to him. just to see if he can still make it all go away. even if i'll probably regret it.#fucking hell how long can i keep this up?? i can't start drinkin more i can't damage this body like that for the others#but i'm startin to run really low on options#spdrvent
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starlost97 · 3 months
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— prettiest.
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summary: With Charles questionable dating history, you didn't want to risk getting into a relationship with someone with that reputation. He was, however, determined to change your mind. And when you did, he couldn't be happier.
keywords: fluff, Charles Leclerc is a simp, f!reader.
characters: Charles Leclerc, Carlos Sainz Jr. (mentioned).
warnings: swearing.
a/n: pathetic men begging for a chance? yes please. also love u charles but u would never see a glimpse of any of my female friends <3 anyways don't take it too seriously! enjoy :)
word count: 461.
requested?: yes! by a friend.
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The world is a cruel place.
Charles, however, was the only one to blame in this situation.
He was also the only one that could fix it.
When you told him that despite your feelings for him, you wouldn’t date someone with such a questionable dating history, the driver was extremely sad. Everyone heard the jokes about how you can’t introduce your female friends to Charles, so why would you risk getting in a relationship with someone with that kind of reputation?
Well, the monegasque made sure to show you everything he had to offer.
Liking all your instagram photos, commenting on them — and making all their fans go wild in the process —, shamelessly staring at you — although that wasn’t really on purpose — when you appeared on screen. The world knew how obsessed he was with you.
He stopped going to parties. He only went to them when he knew you were there, and that was clear.
Charles didn't ask you out again for a long time, though. As if he had a plan to complete before allowing himself to bother you again.
But God, he was terrible at hiding how badly he wanted to take you out. To treat you just like you deserved. To turn all his adoration into worship.
He did last surprisingly long, however. It wasn't hard to exceed the expectations when they were that low. Even Carlos thought that he would last two days without telling you how much he loved you.
Well, he lasted four. And he was very proud of it.
“You're so beautiful.” He mumbled, staring adoringly at you. “Such a shame I didn't win you yet.”
“Yet?” You asked, smiling. “So full of confidence, aren't you?”
“How could I not be? I just made the prettiest girl in the world smile.” Charles said, stroking your cheek. “Come on, give me a chance. I'm starting to get desperate.”
“Sorry, starting?” You breathed out, starting to laugh.
“Alright, you got me. I'm desperate already. Hopelessly desperate.” Charles said, feeling butterflies only with your laugh.
You two stared at each other's eyes for some time, sharing adoration.
“You better not make me regret this, Leclerc.” You mumbled, getting up from the couch and walking away.
Charles was quick to grab your hand and pull you to himself. Your faces were now close to each other, and you could feel his quick heartbeat against your chest.
“I swear that you won't.” He said, closing the gap between you and kissing your lips, feeling as relief filled him. “Fuck, how can your kiss be so sweet?”
He stared at you in disbelief. He indeed just kissed perfection, didn't he?
“I might have to kiss you again and again to find out, pretty girl.”
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flowerflowerflo · 1 month
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౨ৎ ⋆。• vogue beauty secrets 🐰 ๋࣭ ⭑
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ hair
don't wash your hair every day! i think everybody knows this but i know a couple people who still dont wash their hair only 2-3 times a week. obviously it depends on ur hair type but only wash your hair when it needs it!
don't wash your hair with scalding hot water either. its not only bad for your body and face but its also bad for your hair as it ruins the natural oils and damages cells etc
if you have frizzy or easily knotted hair i recommend keeping a comb on hand in the shower and using it to detangle before putting in any products
i've been emulsifying my shampoo for only a couple of weeks but my hair is sooo much fluffier afterwards so i definitely recommend that!!
now i'm torn on this one but apparently shampooing twice is better for your hair than doing it once? i tried it one time and it did not end well for my hair type but i know it works for a lot of people so if you wanna give it a try then go for it ♡
i squeeze excess water out of my hair before i put in my conditioner so i can completely get it in there without
also change your pillow case often! this is for your face too, as the oils will build up and thats not good for ur hair or face. i change it once a week but 2x a week is good too if you're able 💓
don't go to bed with wet hair. stop doing that. its super bad for your hair and keeping it pretty & fluffy & cute
airdrying is my holy grail, been doing it since i was little and dont regret a thing. its a billion times better than blow drying & makes ur hair so fluffy too ♡
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🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ body
DO NOT. HAVE. THE WATER. BOILING HOT. i am guilty of this and have been for years but it has such a bad impact and you shouldnt do it! cold showers are better but i prefer warm showers so theres a middle ground (& its always cold in england, so id freeze to death.)
using body lotion after the shower has been such a game changer for me its incredible. makes you smell nice, feel nice, look nice, and its so relaxing and i feel like a princess after i do it <3
exfoliating is really important if your aim is for soft skin 💓 i have been doing it for months and as somebody with super rough skin its SO soft now
partake in some form of exercise. i hated hated hated sports and exercise when i was younger but i did do dance up until i was eleven and have been doing pilates consistently for months now, and my mindset towards it has changed drastically over the years to finally a healthy one. it can be a difficult thing to get into but make it something you enjoy. it doesn't have to be sports. ill make a post on this soon but it can be pilates, kpop dances, running, hot girl walks, anything! and most importantly, do it for mental health and physical health, not losing weight.
make sure you're eating properly. remember that 2000 - 2500 calories a day is the MINIMUM. please do not stress over things like that. your body is so important & is there to be nourished and not neglected
change your bedsheets every week if you wanna smell good, this is so important bc sweat and odour will build up if u dont and thats icky and wont make u smell good & probably isnt the best for your skin either!
i also put two similar body washes on in the shower that i get SO many compliments on & its really helpful if one of your priorities is smelling good
dont just wash body wash straight off, let it sit for a few moments so the scent can actually sink into ur skin
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🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ face
skincare every morning & every night. if ur tired or just not feeling it today then simplify it, just make sure you never leave it out because its super important! no. skipping. no work = no reward.
on this note, try not to have a too complicated skincare routine, as this can backfire and make ur skin worse than before. your skin isnt meant for 18 different products and 200 chemicals every morning!
never wash your face with hot water... this is also a given but just in case... it strips your skin of its natural oils and does more harm than good
stop touching ur face... just for those who need a little reminder
make sure ur sleeping enough. seriously disney princess movies meant it when they talked ab beauty sleep; it seriously makes a difference, so please try make this a priority, especially if you already have dark circles like myself! (like girl did you see aurora's face? my girl's skin was so clear i could see my reflection)
pay attention to what makes ur face puffy or irritated or makes you get break outs. i keep a little break out log in my skincare page in my journal (little teaser for an upcoming post 🤭) and this has helped me go over what helps or hurts my skin! i recommend this especially if ur prone to acne or breakouts 💖
cold spoons in the morning to depuff your eyes; ive only been doing this a handful of times but im making it a habit seeing as it really helps! (as someone who can get vv puffy eyes 😭)
hydration is so important, for everything in this list, but most of all (from my experience) your face! i drink A Lot of water every day. probably a bit too much. but its so worth it, my skin has been absolutely amazing ever since i started actually making hydration a priority. (and this is coming from a girl who didnt touch a drop of water when she was younger & had to go hospital for dehydration several times.)
i'd recommend scrubbing ur lips too in the morning when you brush your teeth, i saw this on pinterest aaages ago bc i had super dry lips and i do it every morning & every night RELIGIOUSLY. its so so good and i definitely recommend
i have super dry lips in the morning so lip balm in the mornings w my skincare is absolutely essential for me
i also put perfume behind my ears & on my neck so its the first thing people smell when they hug me! im a very touchy person and i love hugs and i love showing love to people so this is essential for me but its optional, just makes you smell good ♡
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appocalipse · 24 days
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summary: you were way too drunk last night and said some funny things...so, of course, steve had no other option but take you to his place to take care of you. :)
read part 1 here
˚ ༘✶ ⋆。˚ ⁀➷
Your head hurts.
Everything feels a little weird, in fact, but especially your head, spinning and throbbing and, when you try to pry your eyes open, the sudden harsh light streaming into the room feels like it's physically boring straight through your brain.
"Fuck," you whimper pitifully, eyes squeezing shut once more. Your ears are ringing, there's a coppery film lining the inside of your mouth and, for a terrible second, your stomach churns dangerously. "Fuck."
Someone hums somewhere near your right ear. A low, gravelly, vaguely amused sort of hum. There is absolutely nothing and no one alive on this green earth that would hum in that particular fashion except your best friend.
You peel your eyelids apart with great difficulty. When you tilt your head to the right, you see Steve sitting on the edge of the bed, gazing down at you with a soft look on his face.
Naturally, you proceed to freak the fuck out.
"Jesus Christ," you cry, scrambling backwards until you feel the back of your head slam against the headboard with a resounding thud. The dull throb in the back of your skull intensifies, and you have to fight back the urge to throw up. "Ow! Shit, I—What—what happened? Why are you in my—"
Hold on a second...this is not your room.
You cast an anxious, furtive glance around the unfamiliar setting of Steve Harrington's guest room. Panic floods your veins and has your heart hammering in your chest when you notice that you're clad in only one of his shirts and sweatpants that definitely don't belong to you.
Oh, Dear Lord.
Did something happen last night that you can't remember? Did something — oh, God, no.
Steve raises his eyebrows at you as though he can read your mind. "Relax. Nothing happened, relax, come back down," he coos gently, placing a placating hand on your arm. "And I...I didn't see anything, if that's what you're worried about. Nancy and Robin, uh...they helped you shower and get changed last night. Not me."
You cover your face with both hands, letting out a muffled groan as your memories come trickling back in. You don't remember every little detail from the previous night, but what you do remember is already more than enough to fill you with mortification and regret.
"...you said some pretty interesting things while you were drunk, though."
"Shut up," you mumble, peeking up at him through splayed fingers, "go away."
"Really, though," Steve continues, the teasing glint in his eyes a sure sign that he is very much enjoying your suffering, "who knew you found me so attractive?"
"Oh, Jesus," you mutter, groaning as you slide down to hide underneath the comforter, "where are my clothes? I want to leave now."
Steve snickers but makes no move to get up from his perch on the bed. You can hear the rustling of fabric, like he's adjusting his position as he waits for you to come out from under the blanket. "Clothes are in the wash, sorry," he says, sounding very much not sorry at all. "You, um, thought it was a good idea to lie down on the grass last night."
"Kill me now."
"Nope," he chirps, quite cheerfully so, "can't do that, because then who would watch Back to the Future with me tonight?"
You part the comforter just enough to peer up at him from beneath the thick layer of blanket.
"'Back to the Future'?" you echo, trying to ignore the fact that you feel a little lightheaded when Steve smiles down at you.
He looks nice. He always does, but even more so now for some reason — you're guessing it has something to do with the fact that you just woke up and haven't had the time to mentally prepare yourself for seeing him up close yet.
"Mmhmm. You up for it?"
"I'm pretty sure that my head is literally going to explode any time now." 
It's really not that bad anymore, but Steve doesn't need to know that, does he?
He nods seriously in agreement. "Right, because you drank way more than you should've last night. Might have mentioned something about rules and...mhmm, what was it? Oh, yes, dying if I didn't let you touch my hair…?"
"No, I didn't."
"You really did," he tells you, leaning back on the heels of his palms, "but don't worry, it was cute."
"I am very much worried," you say miserably.
Steve lets out a quiet sigh and leans forward again, hands reaching out to tug the blanket down far enough to uncover your face completely. "Come on," he says, "do you need anything? Aspirin, maybe? Food? Water?"
You consider his offer, taking the time to mull it over while you avoid his gaze. 
"Why did you bring me home with you?" you ask, curious despite yourself. "Why didn't you just take me home?"
"You, uh...really didn't want me to. Pretty much refused to let go of me all night."
"Steve."
"No, really!" he insists, holding both hands up in surrender. "It was like trying to pry a koala off a tree. You even asked—"
You let out a helpless moan of protest and turn away from him as much as you can, hiding your face in the pillow. Steve laughs, clearly delighted by the fact that he's managed to thoroughly embarrass you in less than ten minutes.
"You asked me if I—"
"I don't wanna know!"
"—would sleep in your bed with you."
"Nope," you whisper, your voice coming out a little garbled due to the way you've pressed your face into the pillows, "don't wanna hear it. Shut up, Steve, oh my God. Please."
"It was very adorable."
"I was drunk."
"Still. Cute."
You prop your head up on your elbow so that you can see him a little better, keeping the blanket held tightly around your shoulders as you do. "Sorry I called you. I don't even remember doing it, Tina just told me to and…sorry."
Steve looks down at his lap, shifting a little uncomfortably on the bed.
"I don't mind," he says, lifting his gaze up to meet yours briefly. "You said you missed me. At the party."
A dry, humorless chuckle leaves you and you cringe when the sudden motion sends a sharp pain lancing through your forehead. "Ow. Of course you would remember that," you say, cheeks heating up.
"Do you...remember everything?"
You blink, momentarily confused by the sudden change in conversation. "Everything?" you ask, more to buy yourself some time than anything else.
"You, um..." Steve trails off, clearly unsure of how to broach the topic with you, "you said I made you feel…stuff inside. That you felt stuff. Or something like that. Do you...remember saying that?"
You can practically feel all the color draining out of your face, leaving behind a blank canvas that hides none of your inner panic. 
"Uh...no, no, I don't. Do you have a...I need to, um, use your bathroom, like, right now, if you don't mind."
Steve blinks. "Oh, okay. Sure. I bought you a toothbrush earlier, by the way. It's in the medicine cabinet if...if you want."
"Yep," you say, climbing out from under the blanket with as much dignity as you can muster (which is very little), "yep, okay, thanks. I'm...gonna go do that. Now. Okay, bye."
You spend a good five minutes inside the bathroom splashing water in your face while silently wishing for death to come claim you sooner rather than later. Then, you brush your teeth with the toothbrush Steve left out for you — which is totally not cute, it's not cute, why did he do that, ugh, damn him — before venturing out into the hall.
"Steve?"
"Kitchen," he calls out from somewhere at the bottom of the stairs, "you want pancakes?"
You hesitate.
The idea of staying to have breakfast alone with Steve Harrington seems oddly intimate after last night, a dangerous prospect that will undoubtedly lead to awkward small talk and more teasing. However, he did go out of his way to buy you a toothbrush this morning...
You swallow down the nervousness you feel and pad barefoot down the staircase into the foyer, following the sounds of clinking utensils and soft humming to the kitchen.
Steve looks up from his place at the stove when you appear in the doorway.
"Hey," he greets, giving you a quick once over. "How's your head?"
"Feels like there's a little person in there hitting it repeatedly with a little hammer," you admit, grimacing a little as you come further into the room and sit down at the island. "Thanks, by the way. For helping me out last night. And today. I really am sorry for...um, you know, that."
"'That'?"
You purse your lips and Steve grins.
"Yes, that," you mutter, swiveling your seat from left to right while you watch him attempt to read a recipe on the back of a box of pancake mix. "Drunk me is like, twice as embarrassing as sober me."
"Embarrassing isn't the word I'd use."
"Please," you scoff, "I was pathetic. I could barely walk by myself."
Steve glances back at you. "I didn't think you were pathetic."
You raise an eyebrow at him skeptically.
"Okay, maybe a little pathetic," he concedes with a little snort, "but mostly just…sweet."
"Sweet?"
"Yeah, sweet. Don't know if anyone's ever told you that before."
"Sweet," you say again, the headache suddenly no more than an afterthought. "That's how you'd describe me?"
Steve, apparently having given up on making sense out of the instructions on the back of the box, turns around to lean against the counter behind him and studies you with his arms folded loosely over his chest.
"Yes," he says, tilting his head to the side a little. "Not the word you expected me to say?"
There's something about the way he's looking at you. It's warm and piercing all at once, like he can see right through you. It makes it hard for you to breathe all of a sudden, hard for you to do anything but gape at him like a goldfish that's been pulled out of water.
"Uh, I'm...confused."
"Me too," he admits with a little huff of laughter. "I was thinking about what you said."
"About your hair?"
"No, well, yeah, but—" Steve pauses, dragging a hand down his face with a weary sigh. "Look, what you said to me yesterday, about the things I make you feel, I—"
"I said I'm sorry—"
"Don't apologize," Steve interrupts, shooting you an unamused look, "I'm trying to say something here, come on, give me a sec."
"Right. Sorry. Go on."
"You're not supposed to apologize for apologizing."
"I'm s—okay, right. Mouth shut."
Steve purses his lips to stifle his amusement at your antics. You fold your arms in front of your chest and keep your gaze fixed firmly on the marble countertop as you wait for him to continue.
"I, uh," he says, pushing himself away from the counter so that he can wander over to the other side of the kitchen, where you sit, "I feel things too, you know. With you."
"Oh."
"Yeah," Steve chuckles, scrubbing a hand across the back of his neck as he stops beside you, "'Oh'. Weird, right?"
You'd like to, but can't think of anything clever to say that would serve as a suitable response. You don't think Steve's looking for one, anyway, because he reaches out to tap his fingers lightly on the back of your hand, taking a seat on the stool next to yours.
"S'weird, 'cause I don't know if you meant what you said when you were drunk, or if it was just the alcohol talking, or what."
You shake your head quickly, and then wince because of the way the headache thuds behind your right eye.
"Robin says I'm an idiot and should stop being such a chicken," he continues, with a slight roll of his eyes. "And Eddie says if I don't 'shut up and tell you how I feel soon', he'll do it for me."
You nod, smiling despite your hangover. "Eddie's, uh, got a point, no?"
"Maybe," Steve allows, rubbing absently at the side of his neck.
He lets his hands slide down to the legs of your stool, fingers curling around the metal of each side. You don't quite understand what he's doing until he gives them a light tug, jerking you closer to him without warning.
You let out a little shriek of surprise as you reach up to clutch onto the first solid thing your hands find — his forearms. 
"Ah! What—Steve!"
He's got an amused smile on his face, but his eyes are bright and nervous all at once. Steve pushes your stool even closer to him, until your knees knock against his own and he's forced to lean down to keep his eyes on you.
You hold his gaze steadily as he edges closer. "What are you doing?" you murmur, watching his eyes flit downward to track the movement of your tongue as it peeks out to wet your dry lips.
"Not sure yet," Steve hesitates when your lips are a hairsbreadth apart. He watches, half-dazed, half-entranced by the way you stare back at him, unblinking. "But I've got a theory."
"A theory?"
He lowers his head toward yours. You press your hands flat against the hard plane of his chest to steady yourself, fingers splaying over the soft material of his t-shirt as you curl them around the fabric. Steve exhales, and you can feel his breath on your skin, a soft tickle that raises the goosebumps all over your skin.
"Wanna hear it?"
You nod slowly, aware of the way his eyes darken as they trace your face. He's so close that you can make out the fine dusting of freckles and moles that litter his skin, the long fan of his lashes as they flutter to a close. If you moved even slightly, your lips would brush against his.
"What's your…your theory?" you whisper.
You can feel his heartbeat thudding in his chest as he releases his hold on your stool, lifts both hands up to cradle your face instead. He slides the tips of his fingers along the side of your neck, lets his thumb trace your jaw.
"I think," Steve says, and you can tell he's struggling to string two coherent words together when you feel his thumb quiver against your cheekbone. "I think that, uh, you're—Christ, I—"
His nose brushes against yours and you tilt your chin up instinctively, chasing the brief contact. You smirk. "Christ, you...?"
"Shut up," Steve huffs out a breathless laugh. "I'm getting to it."
"Are you?" you tease, wrapping your fingers around his wrist, your turn to pull him towards you gently.
Steve goes easily, moving his hand from your face to brace the back of your neck. "I think," he starts, eyes crinkling at the corners, "that I might be in love with you."
It's such an unforeseen, unexpected confession that your heart almost gives out in your chest. 
You gape up at him, at his crooked grin, at his rosy cheeks. "You think?"
He blinks and then squints down at you like he can't decide whether he wants to be annoyed at your antics or kiss you. You hope for the latter, but he says, "What're you, a parrot?"
Shrugging, you're unable to keep your lips from quirking into a grin of your own. "Rude."
Steve's head falls forward and he rests his forehead against yours. You can feel his pulse thundering wildly against the hand you've pressed flat against his chest, and it makes you feel a little better about your own pounding heart.
"M'sorry."
You smooth a hand over his shirt and hook a finger under the neckline. "Forgiven," you tell him.
"Good," Steve says, nudging his nose against yours playfully.
You want to say something else, maybe tease him about his hair or something equally as inconsequential, but he doesn't let you. Instead, he leans down and closes the distance between you with a slow, tentative press of his lips to yours.
Now, Steve's mouth is soft and warm, and he kisses you like he's got all the time in the world. You shiver when he drags his fingers up the back of your neck, tangling them in your hair so that he can pull you closer yet.
You only pull back when the need to breathe becomes too urgent, giggling at the little noise of protest he lets out as you do. But Steve is nothing if not persistent, and he pulls you back in almost immediately, the movement so abrupt that you nearly topple backwards off the stool.
"Steve—I..." you manage to say, between your giggles and the heated press of his lips against yours. "I still...need to breathe, mister."
He huffs out a little laugh against the side of your neck, nips at the sensitive skin in retaliation. You squeal in delight and jab him playfully in the stomach, laughing as he recoils in mock agony.
"Stop laughing," Steve complains, the warmth of his own laughter tickling the underside of your chin when he nuzzles his nose into your neck once more, "come on, you're ruining the moment."
"Wait," you breathe, right before his lips meet yours again, "so...no pancakes, then?"
He drops his forehead against your shoulder and shakes with quiet laughter."You," Steve mumbles into the side of your neck, "are something else, you know that?"
You grin. "Apparently, you like that. Love that...no?"
You can feel him smile, the stretch of his lips curving against the skin of your shoulder.
"Apparently...yeah, I do. I do."
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evie-sturns · 7 days
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you want to? - matt sturniolo
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summary: when you ask your classmate matt for a ride home after school, you find out hes a virgin, how could you not offer to change that?
contains: smut, semi-sub!matt, virgin!matt, swearing.
--------------------└── •✧• ──┘------------——-
the deafening bell rings throughout my math classroom, signalling the end of the day. i look down at my phone which reads 3:00pm, i instantly start to pack up my books more than ready to leave.
i watch the brunette boy to my left swing his bag over his shoulders, he doesn't say much but i'm pretty sure his names matt, i'm quite close with his brother nick but i've never got to know him personally.
i follow close behind him as he walks through the hallway.
we exit through the doors of the school, i decide to make my move now, needing a desperate ride home.
"uh- matt!" i call out walking up beside him, he looks over at me fixing the frame of his dark brown glasses.
"yeah?" he replies softly,
it shouldn't be wrong of me to ask for a ride, i've seen him briefly while i've been round at nicks house, and we got paired up for a group project in 9th grade where i spoke to him for a week.
"this is like- really random but do you mind giving me a ride home, i think my house is just down the street to yours and my car broke down this morning." i ramble
"oh- yeah, okay- thats fine." he says nervously "thank you so much" i let out a sigh of relief.
matt and i walk in silence to his car, his lips are red from where hes been biting them.
he opens the door for me, i jump in the passenger seat. the whole car is clean except for a camera battery and an empty mcdonald's cup.
he jumps in as well, "sorry if this is an inconvenience, i'll venmo you gas money and extra." i say.
"no- don't worry about it, it's fine." matt instantly replies.
i decide to start up a conversation, not wanting to sit in silence for the whole 20 minute ride.
"hows nick?" i ask, "hes okay, i think hes just weirded out about the whole audrey situation."
audrey is nick's best friend, who recently became hated at our school for sleeping with a whole friend group then lying to everyone and saying they made her do it.
"oh yeah!? she fucked that whole group of guys oh god." i exclaim, causing matt to tense up, his hands gripping the steering wheel tight.
"you okay? sorry- do you know audrey"
he shakes his head "i don't know her."
"oh you just went tense about the audrey fucking." i repeat, he laughs slightly, the tips of his ears go red.
"have you never had sex?" i ask, my head spinning round to look at him.
his cheeks go a deep red, he takes a hand off the wheel to rubs his eye under his glasses.
"i- yeah- no.. i dont know" he mutters, "you don't know if you've had sex?" i smile,
"i don't know- no" he says awkwardly with a grin.
"oh, thats fine!" i reply,
"you want to?" i continue, matt goes silent. i instantly regret my words, i didn't mean to make matt uncomfortable but it was just a genuine question.
"sorry." i instantly follow my words up, my tone less.. loud.
"yeah, i think i do" matt almost whispers as though he can't get any louder.
i nod my head understandingly , "you got anyone you want to loose it to, or not really?"
matt seems to grow a little more comfortable, his deathly grip on the wheel loosening
"i can't say" he laughs slightly "i mean i'm almost 18 and both my brothers won't stop yapping about their hook ups." he sighs
"do you want to.. with me?" i ask quietly, the words leaving my mouth before i can process
"but only if you want-" i instantly say after.
his head snaps round to look at me, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose slightly. "you- what" he smiles slightly, his eyebrows twisting as his cheeks flush
i stay silent, maintaining eye contact for a couple seconds.
"yeah, okay thank you" his says breathlessly, looking back to the road
"you can uh- come back to my house, nick and chris are at hockey and my parents are away for 2 weeks." matt says, trying to sound confident.
i nod, "yeah okay!"
-
3:42pm
matt pulls into his driveway, we've been having small talk for the past 5 minutes the rest of the way.
i open the door to his car, stepping out onto the concrete. i follow matt inside his house, i'm more than used to being in his house, execpt its usually with nick to hang out, not with his triplet brother to hook up.
i take his hand, he guides us upstairs into his bedroom. i lock the wooden door behind us.
"so uh, where do we start?" matt laughs nervously, reaching a hand up and scratching the side of his head.
i get on my tip-toes, grabbing his jaw and pulling him into a kiss. he hesitates for a second before kissing me back.
it quickly turns into a makeout, i push him back onto the bed before straddling him.
i grind against the fabric of his jeans, matt lets out a pathetic whimper against my lips clearly sensitive.
i pull away for a second to pull my shirt up over my head, revealing the pink lace of my bra. matt shamelessly stares at my tits, his top teeth sinking into his bottom lip.
after a solid 25 seconds of staring he pulls his navy blue crewneck off over his head, his middle part flopping on his forehead.
his breathing picks up as i unclasp my bra, letting it fall down onto his chest. i instantly feel a bulge feel underneath me, his face growing red.
i fix his glasses on his face lingering my fingers on his skin for longer than needed, "oh my god" i hear him whisper under his breath, i shift off his lap onto the floor, matt sits on the edge of the bed.
i fidget with the buckle of his belt, pulling it through the loops of his jeans before unbuttoning the button of his jeans and shimmying the fabric down his thighs.
i don't waste time to yank down his boxers, his erection springs out. matt's tip is slightly more red than his lips, now begging to be touched.
"you ready sweetheart?" i ask him, dragging my nails up and down his thighs.
"yeah- yes please." he nods, i wrap my hand around his length and pumping slowly, i look up at him and his head falls back "fuck.." he groans as i wrap my lips around his tip.
i circle my tongue just around his tip teasingly but it seems to be enough for matt already.
i slowly take more of him in my mouth, taking most of his dick down my throat.
"oh my god oh my god-" matt whimpers as i bob my head up and down,
my pace quickens everytime matt makes noise, only driving me to take more of him. i feel him twitch, meaning he's close already.
after matt bucks his hips up i pull off of him, edging him. "please" matt starts but i cut him off "don't want you to cum yet, don't wanna overstimulate you okay?"
he nods, i get up off the floor to straddle the top of his thighs again, his dick resting against my lower stomach.
"tell me what you want matt." i say, fixing his hair which rests against the glass of his glasses. "please?" matt whispers.
"please what." i tease, kneeling on either side of his legs and pulling down my shorts and panties in one tug. "ride me.." he says shyly. i smile before hovering myself above his tip, slowly sinking down onto his tip.
"oh my god" he groans, i let out a soft groan as i sink further down his length, i grab his wrists and place his ringed hands on my waist instead of him balling up the sheet.
"feels so good" he mumbles shakily, i start to bounce slowly up and down on his dick.
i let out strings of moans as his grip tightens on my waist "please please-" he whines, i start to pick up my pace.
"matt- you wanna try being on top?" i ask quickly, he hesitates before nodding his head eagerly.
he flips us over impressively easily, "grab my ankles" i tell him which he does, his two large hands grabbing my ankles and pushing them down by my ears, i nod.
he starts to thrust into me, matt's middle part flops on his head, his glasses shifting.
"fuck- 'm so close" he groans "you got it matt" i breathe out
matt pulls out, instantly releasing on my stomach as his glasses fall off, landing on my chest.
he flops down next to me on the bed panting, his arms laying across his forehead.
i scoot closer to matt's side, "you okay?" i ask, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him, a small smile forming on his face.
"you don't understand how long i've wanted that with you." he laughs slightly, "with me?" i reply, my eyes widening slightly
"yeah- i don't know." he sits up, rubbing his eyes. i sit up next to him, grabbing his glasses off my chest and holding them up
i slide the glasses onto his face, his cheeks still flushed
"we should do this again sometime" he suggests awkwardly,
"good idea matt" i smile, pressing a quick kiss to his red lips.
---------------------------------
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 22 days
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Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Five
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Summary: You start a conversation with Jungkook about where you stand but are interrupted by an uninvited visitor Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 4.7K~ Warnings: Suggestive and explicit language (an argument). Nothing too crazy honestly. Horribly edited too because it's been three weeks and I wanted to get it out! a/n: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out but I was away from home for a week and then wrote a couple of one shots and blah blah blah lol but anyways I hope you enjoyyyy Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜
After our eventful afternoon Jungkook and I ended up laying in his bed and watching movies since like he said, he wanted me to be "well rested" before we have the talk. The talk that could change everything between us... 
There are multiple outcomes to this scenario and I'm not sure if I'm ready for any of them. 
On one hand he could say this was all a mistake and he was just acting on his urges. I know now for damn sure though that he's attracted to me but I don't know what his motives and feeling are towards me. If he even has any besides surface level physical attraction. 
On the other hand he could want to pursue a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Being fuck buddies or whatever with an older man does sound exciting when I think about doing it with him. It's just that don't know if I'd want something like that even if it was with him. 
I told Jared before that I wanted to save myself for marriage and I feel like that's something I still want to stick to. I've definitely crossed so many lines with Jungkook in the last not even twenty four hours, more like twelve hours or something like that but regardless lines have been crossed and I'm still not sure how I feel about any of it. 
I want to say that I don't regret it and it's not just because it felt fucking phenomenal and out of this world but because I feel safe with him.
It might just be because over the past couple of months that I've been living with him he's become someone I care about and honestly trust with my life so I didn't really feel a need to say no to him. I wanted it to happen, I know I did I just didn't really think it would ever happen. I thought that it would stay in my hormonal fantasies forever and I was okay with that. 
The way he's been treating me has shown me that he cares about me. Although I was trying to convince myself that it was somewhat of a paternal instinct in him and that he was just being protective over me, I knew that it was something beyond that. 
I tried to somewhat address it in a weird sort of way with the whole asking why he didn't have anyone over conversation and he knew what I was trying to ask and addressed it but his answer me even more confused. 
"I wouldn't want to ruin what we have going on here"  like what does that even mean? He doesn't want to ruin the dynamic we have in the house in terms of we're comfortable with each other and feel no need to let anyone inside our little safe space. 
Or did he mean that he didn't want to ruin what we have going on here because he wanted to see where things went with us on a more romantic level?
He hasn't explicitly told me that he would want to pursue a relationship with me but circling back to before he's given me clear signs that he's attracted to me and isn't one to hide it. 
He knows to a certain extent that I find him attractive too because I asked him to take my virginity. (I'm never gonna be able to live that one down) Anyone could tell that he was clearly struggling to hold himself back and the fact that he kissed me just shows that he wanted to. That he wanted me.
Then there's another possibility that he might want a sugar baby sort of relationship and I don't even want to think about something like that. 
Don't get me wrong! I respect the hustle, but that's just not for me. 
If I'm gonna be doing something like what we are doing right now then I want it to be something that I want to do without any ulterior motive. I don't want to put a monetary value on the time I spend with him but not gonna lie, living it large and not having to worry about money or working sounds very tempting.
I don't think he's that kind of man though...or at least I hope he's not. 
"Penny for your thoughts?" he asks playfully, having noticed that I haven't really been paying attention to the movie we've been watching. 
"Just thinking" I answer, cuddling in closer to him as I've refused to let go of him today and he hasn't made moves to do any different. 
"Bout what?" he prods further, placing a kiss on the top of my head and taking in the fresh scent of his shampoo in my hair.
"Things" I continue, liking the game we've started to play. 
"What sort of things?" he chuckles, telling me that he's enjoying it too. 
"All kinds of things" I say nuzzling closer into him and he wraps his arm tighter around me to keep me there.
"Wanna share a few?" he asks, clearly not letting this go since he wants to at least make sure I'm okay. 
"Thinking about how you might want to make me your sugar baby" I mumble into his chest and he laughs wholeheartedly making me even more embarrassed. 
"Is that something you'd want?" he asks and I shake my head. 
"You don't wanna be at home and sit pretty, waiting for me to come back and shower you with gifts and jewelry and give you the world?" he teases while pinching my sides making me pull away from him, trying to escape. 
"N-no! Now s-stop" I choke out through laughter and gasps of breath. "What would you want" he asks after having tackled me down onto the mattress making sure to do a thorough job of tickling me until I could barely breathe. 
I take a second to think, my eyes going back and forth between his while his stay still, focused and almost begging for an answer. 
"I thought we weren't going to have this conversation until I was well rested" I say, breathless, still not knowing up from down when it comes to us. If there even is an 'us'. 
"You feel well rested?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I nod my head quickly, giving me a crooked smile in response. "Then it's perfect timing right?" he continues and I nod again leaving him getting off of me and leaning his back against the headboard, waiting to hear what I have to say. 
I take a minute or so to gather my thoughts and the whole time he's watching me curiously, almost able to see the wheels turning in my head. 
"What happened between us kind of caught me by surprise" I start, looking down at my lap and playing with my fingers nervously. "I don't regret it, it was just, well I'm just kind of confused about how you feel about me, and I'm really confused about how I feel about you" I admit and I can see his expression go a bit wary but I jump at the chance to explain myself. 
"It's just that I think both of us know at this point that we're extremely attracted to each other" I start out and the corner of his lips upturns for a second but nods in confirmation, waiting for me to continue. 
"With us getting physical and all so quickly I can't help but think that maybe we should take a step back. I would like to know your thoughts and intentions and feelings about all of this. I might be overthinking it but I really think it's best to be up front and honest with each other" I say and take in a shaky breath, scared I might've said the wrong thing.
"You're so sexy when you act so mature like that" he taunts and I groan, wanting to keep this serious. "I'm just playing Bunny. Well I'm not because you really are sexy but I don't want you to feel all nervous and insecure like you are right now. We're being open and honest right?" he questions and I nod my head, eager for him to continue. 
"Meaning it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you that I have feelings for you right?" he says and my eye bug out in response, not knowing what to do now. "Wasn't expecting that huh?" he chuckles and I shake my head making him laugh even more. 
"Cat got your tongue Darling?" he teases and scoff at that. "No I was just being polite and letting you keep talking since you let me do the same" I say, making excuses and trying to keep my voice level. 
"Sure Bunny" he smirks not believing a word I said but continuing nevertheless.
"I've had feelings for you for a while now and I haven't told you or acted on it because I wanted to respect the fact that you were in a relationship. I never liked Jared though for what it's worth" he says without hesitation and it makes me cringe at the thought that I was about to marry that snake. 
"Is it harsh to say I'm glad he's out of the picture?" he says boldly making me laugh. "Not just because it benefitted me but because he didn't deserve to marry a beautiful, intelligent, kind hearted woman like you. I would've said something but I'm not your father so I knew it wasn't my place" he finishes and making me smile, thankful that he was so considerate. 
Now that I think about it, even back then I respected and trusted his judgement so it wouldn't have bothered me even if he did say something.
"It's not harsh to say because I'm happy about it too. To be honest though I don't really know what I ever saw in him. I think because he was the first guy that more or less respected my boundaries that I thought I had to hold onto him. I don't know" I say and he nods his head.
This is something I haven't experienced before. Someone sitting and taking the time to actually talk things out without any outside distractions and focusing on each other and hearing each other out. 
Maybe it's just an age thing and the fact that Jungkook does fit the standard of dating older and more mature men is better. We're not dating though, but I guess we'll hopefully figure out where we stand once this conversation comes to a close.
"I'm really confused and I kind of don't know how to feel but I'm not closed off to figuring things out" I say, glancing up at him and back down at my lap, nervous from seeing how fascinated he is with me right now. 
I hold my breath and wait for him to say something but when nothing ever comes I chance looking up at him again and I'm surprised to see how he's still watching me.
"Like I said, I've had feelings for you for a while and if you're open to seeing where things go then I would really like to take you out on a date. Like on a proper date. I know since we've been living together and we've been spending a lot of time together but I-" he start off strong but begins to ramble and is regretfully cut off by the sound of the front door opening. 
"Dad! Dad where are you?" Jina calls out and neither of us dares to move or make a sound. "Dad" Jina drags out, regretfully confirming that I am in fact not dreaming. "Be down in a second" he says then presses a finger to his lips. 
"Just stay in here and I'll take care of it" he whispers and I nod my head, watching him as he panics internally before leaving the room and closing the door softly behind him. 
What the hell are we gonna do? My car is out there! Or wait, did I put it in the garage yesterday? I can't remember but I really hope it's not out there otherwise she'll already know I'm here. 
"What are you doing here?" Jungkook says. I can hear his muffled voice through the walls and I know I probably shouldn't listen but curiosity gets the best of me making me rush to the door and quietly crack it open, needing to hear how this conversation goes. 
"Nice to see you too dad" she says, and I hate the fact that I'm only able to hear them but I'll settle for this. 
"You should've contacted me before you came over Jina. You know I don't like people showing up unannounced" he says sternly.
"You're usually totally fine with me coming over" she says sounding thoroughly confused and I can hear Jungkook clear his throat before she starts again. 
"Am I interrupting something?" she asks after no doubt clocking the dishes that were left over from lunch. Two plates, two cups and two sets of silverware. A dead giveaway that someone is here especially since it hasn't been cleaned up yet. 
"You are actually" he says and I trip, surprised that he would straight up admit it but he has no reason to hide, and neither do I.
Having pushed the door open thanks to my clumsiness (somehow able to stay upright and keep my dignity this time) I'm faced with the dilemma of if I should just go back inside and pretend that never happened when it clearly did or come out and face her. 
I'm given the luxury of having that choice since she hasn't seen me yet but I decide it's better to do this as soon as possible. We've hid the fact that I've been living here for two months so what's adding on the fact that I've been messing around with her father while doing so. 
(Although this is a newly added feature but she doesn't need to know that)
I take a deep breath before stepping out from behind the door, watching Jina's face go from surprised to confused to disgusted to angry before turning back towards her father. 
"You're fucking my best friend?" she accuses, not completely wrong but semantics. 
"Best friend's don't fuck around and get pregnant by their friend's fiancees" I remind her, walking down the stairs in conveniently only Jungkook's shirt making what's going on, or what's starting to go on between us even more clear. 
"Oh grow up! It's not like there's anything we can do to change that now can we? Plus looks like you're doing just fine without him" she throws at me and from that moment I'm not pulling any punches. She wants to play dirty? Fine, let's play dirty.
"Jina stop it" Jungkook growls, going on the defensive, not being able to gauge what kind of mindset she's in or even her reasoning for coming here but wanting her out all the same.  
"Grow up?" I chuckle dryly, "I guess you're right, I guess maybe I have started growing up since it seems I've matured enough to be with someone like your father. Which, last time I checked, wasn't someone you have any business in questioning on things like his sex life and who he does and does not partake in it with" I say, placing a hand on his bicep possessively and I feel the tension he had once held in his body start to melt away. 
Interesting to know that I have this effect on him...
"Come on, we both know that you're probably just a piece of ass to him" she scoffs before turning to address him. "Didn't know you started picking up strays. I wondered where she had ran off to" she says, continuing to disrespect the both of us without a care in the world.
"Don't call her that!" Jungkook says, jaw clenched as a way to keep himself in check. 
All I see is red though and the next words I hurl out are ones that I couldn't stop myself from saying even if I tried. The ringing in my ears fanning the flames of my agitation making it impossible to hold back.
"How's life being pregnant with my fucking ex boyfriend's baby? He's probably taking real good care of you huh?" I taunt, cocking a brow at her and from the way the color rushes to her cheeks and the words die in her throat are enough to tell me everything I need to know. 
He hasn't done shit for her.
She balls her hands into fists by her side and lunges at me but Jungkook jumps in between us, grabs her by the shoulders and turns her around, forcing her out the front door. 
"You're gonna throw me out and choose that slut over your own daughter?" she yells struggling to get out of his grasp the whole way. 
"Last time I checked honey the only slut around these parts is you" I throw back, following right behind them and the way her jaw drops is just priceless. 
"That's enough! Jina go!" Jungkook says through gritted teeth letting go of her once she's passed the thresh hold, leaving her standing there, looking between the two of us before scoffing and storming off down the driveway. 
"I knew you were obsessed with her I just never thought you would bother acting on it" Jina spits out at her father and when she sees that he doesn't flinch she hurls more baseless lies and insults at the both of us. 
"You know she's just using you to get a place to stay and get over her ex right? What happened to staying a virgin until you got married y/n? Huh? Guess getting cheated on really fucked you up" she spits while unlocking her car. 
"And I guess fucking around with an ego-driven two-timing narcissist gets you pregnant" I throw back and she purses her lips before sinking down in her car, accepting defeat this time and leaving like her father told her to. 
"Say hi to Jared for me" I call out, waving at her as she grips the steering wheel until her knuckles have gone white, putting it in drive and backing out of the driveway.
I walk over to the couch and let out a big sigh once I've sat down, throwing my head in my hands as a way to ground myself. 
Breathing through this dizzy feeling from that whole confrontation that I had not been prepared for is a lot tougher than I thought it would be, my whole body still buzzing.
I hear Jungkook close the door behind him after having watched her speed down the street, still worried for her safety but also wanting to make sure she was actually gone. What happened just now was enough of a confrontation to last me a lifetime, or at least it feels that way.  
"Hey" he whispers, kneeling in front of me and rubbing my back, "Are you okay?" he continues and I nod my head, feeling the tears prickling in my eyes, calling my bluff.
"Come here" he whispers, sitting on the couch next to me and pulling me onto his lap, rubbing my back again and holding me while I let out some of those tears I had held back.
"I don't even know why I crying" I say, sniffling and sitting back up to dry my eyes.
"No one likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about. Well, nobody sane likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about" he says, trying to lighten the mood and it does the trick making me scoff a bit, smiling at his efforts to make me feel better.
He cups my face and wipes a few tears that had fallen, looking at me with his brows pinched together as if his heart is breaking with mine.
"But you still care about her though, don't you?" he asks and I nod my head. "It's hard not to" I admit, getting off his lap and sitting next to him which makes him angle his body to face mine, taking hold of one of my hands, encouraging me to speak my mind. 
"She's been my best friend for the past five years. That's not something that can magically be turned off for me. I know what she did to me was devastating and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for it. I'm still trying to heal from it all so I don't know, I couldn't help but defend myself, and you. I'm sorry you had to see that" I say, mumbling the last part and feeling so much regret for saying those ugly things about his daughter right in front of him. 
"Everyone has a right to defend themselves and when you're being attacked like that, you can't help but say hurtful things. She had no right and she knew that and wanted to hurt the both of us anyway" he says and I take a deep breath before turning my attention back to him because she said just as many hurtful things to him as she did to me.
"Are you okay?" I question, tightening my hold on his hand to hopefully encourage him to be vulnerable with me as well. 
He nods his head with a sad smile and waits a beat before saying anything and I hold my breath until he does. 
"No one wants their daughter to end up in the kind situation she put herself in or see the people that they care about hurting but what she said didn't hurt me" he says and I nod my head, paying attention to his hand that I have placed in my lap, tracing the swirls of ink with my eyes as they travel further up his arm. 
"What did hurt me though was the way she was talking about you. You know that's not how I feel about you at all right?" he says, tilting my face up towards him making purposeful eye contact with me, needing to know that I believe him. 
"I know" I nod, giving him a sad smile accompanied by my still glossy eyes making him even more sad seeing how upset all of this has made me. 
"Can I do anything to make you feel better?" he asks, cupping my face and keeping my eyes on him when I try to turn them away. "No, I'll be okay" I shake my head and he studies my features before nodding and accepting my words at face value. 
"Okay, do you wanna go back up to my room? You can sleep in there with me if you'd like" he says, brushing a tear dampened strand of hair out of my face. 
I give him a mischievous smile, telling him I know what he's up to but he pulls away and puts his hands up in a way to defend his motives. 
"Just sleep, I promise. Scouts honor" he says, crossing his heart and I laugh at his playfully defensive nature. "Sure" I say, taking hold of his hand while he stands up and leads me back to his bedroom. 
~~~~
After having talked a little bit more about what had happened the topic of conversation circles back to what we had been in the middle of before she showed up. 
"So earlier it seemed like you wanted to ask me a question" I say, taking a sip from my soda that had come with the take out we had ordered hours ago, toying with the straw and keeping his attention. 
"Yeah? And do you know what your answer might be to said question?" he teases, wetting his lips and keeping his eyes trained on mine. 
"You have to ask the questions first Daddy" I say placing my drink down on his nightstand and when I turn to face him again he's tackling me down on the bed peppering kisses all over me. 
"Stoooppp" I giggle and he laughs along with me before leaning back to hover over me. "Will you go out with me?" he asks and I can tell that this whole moment has him feeling like a teenager again.
"I thought you'd never ask" I say, running my fingers through his hair making him lean into my touch. 
"You can't take it back though. Once we do this I won't ever let you go" he husks out, placing a kiss on my palm and I shutter at the feeling. "Then don't" I breathe out making a flame of desire flash through his eyes. 
"You're gonna get yourself in trouble you know that?" he warns, placing a kiss on my nose before getting off me and turning off the tv. "Hey! I was watching that!" I pout "No you weren't" he chuckles. "Plus it's time to go to bed. We've got a big day ahead of us" he says, getting under the covers and motioning for me to do the same. 
"Big day?" I question, not remembering we had something on the agenda this weekend. "I may or may not have planned out our date this morning while you were still in bed Sleeping Beauty" he says, pulling me onto his chest but I sit up pulling away from him with my brows scrunched together. 
"How were you so sure I would say yes?" I scoff, shocked by his bold assumption. "From the way I've been making you moan my name I figured you wouldn't mind going on one date with me in return" he says and my jaw drops, throwing the covers off myself and making a break for it but he yanks me back towards him making me flop down on the bed. 
"You can't just say things like that" I whine, hands over my eyes as a way to block him out of my vision and hide the very apparent blush that I'm sure is starting to bloom. 
"Am I wrong?" he taunts, placing kisses on my neck and collarbone, dangerously close to making me moan his name again. 
"You're no fair" I say, pushing him off and giving him my back making him chuckle at my shy behavior. He lays down and pulls me back into him. My back now against his chest and his hand placed on my hip where I'm again reminded that I'm only wearing his shirt and my under ware. 
"Keep your hands to yourself Mr." I tease while prying his hand off me. "Come on darling, you know I'm a man of my word. Just sleep, nothing else" he says, this time sliding his hand further up to hold onto my bare waist. 
"Fine" I grumble out and he laughs and nuzzles his nose into my neck, taking another deep breath, flooding his senses with my scent. 
"Goodnight Bunny" he mumbles against my skin. "Goodnight Daddy I tease and am rewarded with a slap on my ass. 
"Did, did you just spank me?" I say trying to wiggle out of his hold but he's already got his arm wrapped around my waist again. "I told you that pretty little mouth of yours was gonna get you into trouble didn't I?" he says, switching to rubbing his hand along the tender flesh he just struck, caressing it in a way to ease the pain. 
I pout and settle back into the bed, not dignifying his words with a response. It's only when I accidentally move my hips backwards do I freeze from gaining a soft moan from him, no doubt caught off guard from the contact of my ass up against him. 
"Sorry I didn't mean to I-" "I know Bunny, just go to sleep" he says placing a kiss on my neck and holding my hips in place, putting a little more space between us. 
As I slow my breathing to a steady one I start to lull myself to sleep but I flinch at the sound of his cute snores in my ear. 'Something I'll have to tease him about in the morning' I giggle to myself and take his hand off my hip, choosing instead to hold it against my chest having him surrounding me. Soon I'm slipping into that dreamland he had drifted off to moments before, safe and warm being in his arms.  
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natsglorifiedsimp · 4 months
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Something Changed 2
A/N: You guys asked for it.
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Part 1
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Tasha's POV
"Hey, Maria!" Natasha called.
Natasha noticed the subtle eye rolling of Maria. She squinted her eyes. It was unusual for Maria to act like that especially cause she's been helping her get to date you.
"What do you want Natasha?" she grumbled.
Natasha was taken aback by this. "Jeez, I'm just asking about Y/n." another eye-roll was given to Natasha. "Have you seen her? I haven't seen her on campus."
"Glad you noticed, Natasha" she sarcastically said. Maria feigned a thinking posture and started to glare at Natasha, "Let's see hmm" Maria said with diction.
"How about the fact that you've been ignoring her since you and Wanda dated and now she's gone off to Los Angeles leaving us behind because of you!" Maria gritted her teeth trying to contain her anger because you were in the hallway where students were passing around thinking Natasha and Maria were doing a secret drug deal.
"W-what?" Natasha stuttered. "I-I haven't ignored her."
"Save me the drama, Natasha. All you think about is yourself." Maria said.
Natasha was so confused. She didn't know what she did to you. She hurriedly texted you, hoping you'd give her some explanation but all was left delivered. That's not usually you. You always reply as soon as you see the message pop.
Natasha back reads you guys' conversation. Seeing if there were any clues on when are you going to LA or something that would hint at anything.
But all she saw was how she neglected you. She could see in every message how much you needed her. She missed your rants, your rambles, and everything that you guys would do when you hang out.
She broke her promise.
Y/n's POV
LA was different. The school was fine so far. No one dumped milk on your hair yet. No one made fun of you yet. And you were hoping it would stay that way.
The new environment was hard for you. It is hard to start a conversation with people when you don't know who they are. Natasha always does the talking. But somehow in this world, you are the one who needs to adjust.
Even if the people were friendly, throwing a smile at you or saying hi, somehow you still felt timid and awkward. You were scared to make friends.
Cause you know they will leave again.
Natasha did. What could any of these peer's differences be?
You cried every night knowing you had no one cared. That even if you consider them your best friends they will never think of you the same way. You were an option. You are a pawn to someone's real agenda.
You cried because you knew how much you cherished friendships. You knew to yourself that you would care and love people and go out of your way just to be there for them.
But somehow with you, it was always the opposite.
You are left alone, and when you thought someone cared...
She never really was.
Natasha's POV
She tried calling you a million times, even called your parents just to have a chance to talk to you. To apologize. But you were too far gone.
She may have found the love of her life but she left you. She left you feeling like she didn't care. She disregarded your feelings and put herself first. She took advantage of you.
Natasha regretted everything that she did. Everything that she broke. She knew how much you value friendships and she also knew how to break it.
There were no more Y/n. The laughter you shared is now a glimpse of memories that she wished would last forever. Love may have come her way but she didn't have to run you over just to find it.
You were her person.
But i guess...
Loving involves losing right?
595 notes · View notes
benkeibear · 5 months
Text
⋆꙳✧༄ Popping your cherry
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❖ Character: Nanami
❖ Reader: female | AFAB
❖ Wordcount: 4.3k
❖ Summary: Nanami was patient until you were ready, giving you a night full of pleasure and taking your virginity in a gentle way
❖ WARNINGS: no dynamics, soft sex, oral (reader giving and receiving), fingering, squirting, pussy job, creampie, lots of pet names, consent checks, gentle aftercare, slight body worship
❖ A/n: I guess I'm writing again 🥹 thank you @nanamis-wifey-reye and @linpunny for encouraging me and also @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi for being mental support and proof reading this!
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Nanami has been nothing but kind and patient with you ever since you two met, sure he had his moments where he snapped at you due to stress at his work but you never took it to heart, almost feeling bad that you didn't quite know how to help him since he always brushed you off before he would say something he regrets and you gave him the desired space. He would always come back to you after a long and hot shower, muscles relaxed, mood way better.
It wasn't until you happened to walk past his big bathroom when he took one of these showers when you found out what was really going on. Through the noise of the water hitting the tiled floor you could hear soft groans, followed by a few mumbled words… Was he masturbating?
Your hand was gently knocking against the closed door before you could stop it from happening, a few grumbles to be heard from the inside of the room. “It's open” He called out mere seconds later, his thick shaft still resting heavy in his palm, body hidden away behind the steamed glass of the shower. Swiftly you entered the bathroom and went straight for the shower, your clothes falling in a trail as you approached your lover “may I join?” You called out slightly hesitant, your cheeks heating up at the thought of seeing him like this for the first time but silence filled the room until he eventually spoke a small “yes”, unable to resist you any longer. Nanami wanted to take things slow with you, knowing you're inexperienced so he waited for you to make a move, to give a sign that you want him as much as he wants you - he was craving you, the image of your body clad in the beautiful sundress you wore once stuck in his head and leaving little space for imagination what your body beneath might look like. The thought of you was his sweet salvation and his downfall late at night when he couldn't sleep, during the day when he couldn't focus. Only you.
After taking a deep and shaky breath you opened the milky glass door of the shower, steam clouding your vision for mere seconds before it evaporated enough to see your lover standing in front of you, not daring to look down where you saw his cock standing proudly in the corner of your eyes. Noticing how you seemed to be frozen to the spot, Nanami tried to cover his manhood with his large hands, his eyes staying respectfully on your face, not once wandering. “Changed your mind?” He asked with a soft voice, not a hint of pressure behind his words, just curiosity but you quickly shook your head no to let him know that you did not change your mind. With a careful step you joined the blonde man in the shower, hot water cascading down your figure yet his eyes remained trained on your face.
“Warm enough?” He asked caring, his voice soft as silk when he spoke which seemed to calm your breath a little. “It could be a bit warmer… if you don't mind” you mumble, feeling a little awkward for intruding on him during such a private moment and now you just stand around in front of him, fidgeting nervously with your hands while he reached out to the faucet, brushing the soft skin of your arm which you had draped over your chest in a rather shy manner. This simple touch alone left your skin to erupt with goosebumps and your eyes wandered over his strong arms, ending at his chest before you looked to the dark tiled wall once more, the rippling muscles beneath his skin embedded in your brain now. “You don't have to be so reserved. I'm your partner after all” he pointed out lightly, not minding your eyes on him and as much as he wanted to just push you against the wall and take you, he remained patient and caring. He knew this was a rather big step for you to take already and he didn't want to scare you with anything but you simply nodded, unsure arms wrapping around his torso in a gentle hug.
Nanami held back a chuckle upon this sweet and innocent gesture, holding you close to his body underneath the big rainshower, hot water cascading down both your bodies now. He would lie if he said that your soft skin and your perked nipples pressed against him in such an intimate way didn't affect him but his body betrayed him already - erection twitching against your stomach and letting you feel just how badly he needed you. He cleared his throat and was ready to mumble out an apology for being inappropriate during such a delicate moment but you looked up at him with a newfound hunger hidden behind your eyes.
Without hesitation the blonde man leaned down to capture your soft lips in a heated kiss, his tongue no stranger to your mouth as the kiss grew heated like oh so many times before. The butterflies were doing cartwheels in your stomach when his large hands reached down to hold your hips, pulling you impossibly close to his body in an effort to get you even closer until you had to break the kiss for air, his kisses traveling to your neck and it was evident that both you you yearned for more than just a makeout session. By the time your hand stroked over his rock hard abs it was clear to him and he nodded almost breathless, craving the touch of your soft hand wrapped around his shaft for the first time and when you finally did he couldn't hold back a relieved groan. Nanami’s lips returned to yours once again as he guided your much smaller hand up and down the length of his cock, showing you just the way he liked it but the way your hand barely managed to wrap around his girth left his head spinning, desperate to maintain focus when his hands crept over to your body once more. Calloused hands resting on your hip and just below your chest, your nodding of wordless consent was all he needed to let his hands travel further, one pulling you closer as the other started kneading your chest. “You're so beautiful, doll” he managed to rasp out as his kisses returned to your neck once more, his low moans and pants filling your senses as your hand worked on his length to help him get off.
Your soft whines didn't go unnoticed by him when he gently rolled your pebbled nipple between his thumb and index finger, his lips now trailing down to take care of your neglected breast, the warmth of his mouth engulfing one nipple while his fingers played with the other and you started to rub your thighs together in desperation. “Let me take care of you” he mouthed against the soft flesh of your boobs and you could only nod, your hand working faster on him as his teeth tugged on your nipple ever so gently. He should have felt ashamed for being selfish but your hands working on him got him off faster than his own ever could, thick ropes of cum painting your stomach and hands only to be washed away by the water right away, his head resting in the crook of your neck for a short moment but before you knew it, his fingers were brushing against your thighs, begging for you to open up for him and you did.
Skilled fingers caressed your inner thighs until he finally reached your core and just as he touched the part where you needed him most his sweet touch disappeared, a small chuckle vibrating through his chest which caught your attention. “We should take this to the bedroom, I want to take my time with you” he mumbled into your ear, his voice hoarse from how aroused he's gotten by the thought of finally claiming you as his entirely. You didn't need to answer him either, the way you turned off the water within a mere second was answer enough and he shook his head at how eager you seemed to be.
Leaving the warmth of the shower first, Nanami went to get you a fresh towel, the soft fabric smelling like orchids and cotton, something you've started associating with him - with home. Just as he wrapped it around you, one hand stretched out to help you out of the shower and guided you to the bedroom you've been to a hundred times before. You should know the way by now but perhaps the towel that hung dangerously low on his hips, threatening to fall off was all you could focus on, grateful for when he gently scooped you up into his strong arms, the hint of chest hair tickling your skin before you were placed onto the bed with utmost care.
Warm hands untucked the towel from around your body to reveal your beauty to him, your body entirely exposed but you didn't feel the need to cover up, his gaze letting the heat rush to your cheeks. He made you feel wanted, desired like you're the most beautiful woman on earth - and to him you were. You were perfect in every single way, almost feeling bad that he's about to ruin you like this but he craved to hear you whimper and whine for more, pawing at his sculpted body when he takes you past the edge, begging for him, pleading to fill you up - making you his entirely.
Of course he will take his sweet time until he is sure that you can handle him, the thought of hurting you made his heart clench and… he's been staring for too long, your sweet giggle filling his ears. You broke the shell of the stoic man, you could make him crawl to you if you'd only ask. He was fully devoted to you and your love, craving you, his body screaming for you in every way - it was almost scaring him but he was undoubtedly yours.
Kneeling down just in front of the bed he pulled your body closer, your beautiful legs now resting over his shoulders until your glistening folds were right in front of his face, his blonde hair tickling your thighs when he started pressing open mouthed kisses along your supple flesh. Minutes that felt like hours passed and you needed him, going crazy with how badly you yearned for his pleasure until your hands found their way into his silk like hair, pulling him towards your core with pleading eyes. “Patience, doll” he whispered, his warm breath fanning over your folds and eliciting goosebumps over your body. You've never had someone this close to your heat but it was Nanami - you had no reason to grow shy nor embarrassed over your feelings for him, his rock hard cock letting you know that he was equally eager for this.
His amber eyes held nothing but warmth in them when he pressed a kiss to the mound of your core, looking for any sign of discomfort in yours. “Yellow if it's too much, red if you need me to stop” his words cut the silence in your room, accompanied by the thumping of your heart now picking up, almost sounding like a war drum. You nodded, unable to form words in the anticipation laced with nervousness but it was enough for the man between your legs, trusting you to let him know if you weren't ready to go on and you knew he would never pressure you into anything.
Your eyes fluttered shut when you felt his kisses travel over your mound onto your folds until his thumbs ever so gently parted them, exposing your wetness to him. Unsure what to expect you gasped softly when the first kitten lick of his tongue brushed over your exposed clit, fingers digging into his scalp at the sensation. You could feel him smile at your reaction, his tongue traveling through your folds in a zigzag motion only to circle your bundle of nerves, alternating between gently flicking it with his tongue and sucking on it until you were helplessly bucking against his face, the pleasure washing over you and catching you entirely off guard with its intensity that you couldn't even warn your lover - but he knew. Nanami's tongue kept playing with your clit until he heard the cry of his name leave your throat, begging him, for what you didn't even know yourself but the orgasm that followed was better than any you've given to yourself.
Allowing you to calm down his tongue slowed down its assault on your sensitive nub only to travel further down, lapping up your arousal like a man starved. The slurping noises were lewd but you didn't want him to stop, neither when he pushed his tongue into your entrance, nor when his thumb came down to rub small circles at your overly sensitive clit. Nanami was entirely lost in your taste, eyes fluttering shut and breaking eye contact for a moment and it made you swoon, seeing how much he enjoyed this - how pleasing you was pleasing him. Your juices kept coating his tongue, followed by soft groans against your heat only for his tongue to leave your entrance and return to your clit once more.
“God. You're so addictive” he mumbled into you, the hand which rested on your thigh now joining his tongue, his index finger gently circling your entrance to gauge a reaction from you, seeing if you show any signs of it being too much but you were babbling at this moment, cunt clenching around nothing when his tongue started his assault on your bundle of nerves once more. Nanami was certain that you needed this as much as he did, ever so gently pushing his finger into your untouched hole just to feel how tight you clench around him from the intrusion. Nodding you started grinding against his face and finger, needing him deeper, needing more and he heard you, briefly pulling his finger out of you before replacing it with his middle- and ringfinger. Your cunt sucked them in, almost struggling to accommodate his thick digits - the stretch much more than your fingers ever managed and when he curled them into your sweet spot it was over for you once again. A loud whine erupted from your throat as the squelching noises of your pussy grew in volume “Ke-Kento… too much” you whimpered helplessly to get him to slow down but the second your sweet voice reached his ears a clear stream of liquid splashed out of you and against his tongue. His fingers slowed down the moment you begged for it but your orgasm already washed over you already, legs shaking violently on his shoulders when he lapped up the juices that just squirted out of you.
Your ears were ringing as your lungs desperately tried to get air back into them, not even noticing how your lover was raking his hands over your thighs in a caring manner, absolutely mesmerized by you. He knew very well that your body was pushed past its boundaries so he wanted to stop or at least give you a break but you finally came back to your senses, your gaze still hungry despite looking utterly fucked out by just his tongue and fingers. “Don't stop… please” you whimpered, begging him for more. Oh you little vixen, knowing exactly how to play his heartstrings - how is he supposed to deny you such a request when he could devour you whole?
A single kiss was pressed to your right thigh before he put it down onto the bed, shaking his head with a breathless chuckle when he caught a glimpse of your frown. “You're going to be the death of me, love” he mumbled amused, your left leg now lined up with his chest and shoulder as he stood between your thighs. The feeling of his cock resting just above your heat made you want to scream, the kiss that was placed upon your ankle provoked the smallest whimper to erupt out of you. “Please Kento” You encouraged him, being entirely certain about going this step with him and he nodded, thumbs spreading your folds once more to get a view on how wet he got you, a small puddle forming underneath your ass on the bed and he deemed it good enough to drag his length through your cunt, slowly.
Nanami wouldn't last long if he made love to you now, far too riled up from all your moans, your taste and the way you squirted just from two of his fingers working their magic on you. “Ken… i need you” you begged, soft voice sounding strained now, almost desperate but he only picked up his pace slightly, his tip now nudging your clit just the right ways to have you mewling for him once again, hands digging into the bedsheets from how sensitive you were by now and it needed everything inside of him to not push his cock inside of you when he felt close.
You could feel the twitching of his shaft against your wet cunt, heavy balls clenching as he spilled his seed over your heat and lower stomach, his head thrown back while a guttural moan left his throat. You really were going to be the death of him - now he was certain. Seeing your little pussy covered in cum did things to him, eyes darkening when he dragged the head of his cock through your folds once again to collect your mixed juices, only stopping when he arrived at your entrance. One last time his eyes wandered up your body to rest on your half closed eyes, looking so tired but so happy at the same time. Nanami needed to make sure that you still wanted this since you were almost at a point of no return. Sensing his hesitation you reached your palm out towards him, letting the man that stood tall like a tree between your legs lower himself so you may cup his cheek in the most loving way. “I want you, Kento Nanami. I've never been more sure of something in my life before” you whispered softly, the room around you falling quiet once more, only your heartbeats to be heard, hammering against your chests and begging to be united.
Your gentle giant couldn't ask for more from you, hearing you say it loud and clear - you wanted him, wanted this. His soft lips captured yours in an enchanting kiss and taking your mind entirely off of the way the bulbous head of his dick slowly pushed past your tight entrance and molding you to be his. A hiccup caused by your pain interrupted the sensual kiss but Nanami was quick to help you, halting his advances when his length was halfway inside of you, taking your virginity with utmost care. “Shh… you're doing so good for me, doll. Do you want me to stop?” His voice sounded strained, yet caring and it was clear that it took everything in him to not thrust the remaining half into you which was greatly appreciated. His forehead connected with yours after he pressed a kiss to yours, waiting for you to say something, anything. “G-green” your voice cut through the silence and allowed him to go on which he did, one of his hands still holding your leg to his chest while the other intertwined with yours, lips returning to yours in a desperate attempt to ground himself so he won't lose control. Hurting you was the last thing Nanami wanted to do after all.
His balls rested heavy against you when he finally bottomed out, his deep groan echoing off the walls when you raked your fingers over his well defined back, feeling every ripple of his muscles beneath his pale skin. “Taking me so- fuck… so well” he moaned breathless when his hips started to move with small thrusts, his thumb wiping a stray tear from your cheek and you're not sure if it was from the pain or the fact that he made you feel so incredibly good. Weakly you nodded your head, drinking the praise in like it's the essence that's keeping you alive. “My good girl” he continued, hips meeting yours with every word and he felt like his heart would beat out of his chest at any moment, seeing your jaw slowly going slack and your moans growing in volume to create this lewd image of his usually so sweet love.
Nanami had to halt, his chest rising and sinking rapidly from the way you manage to steal his breath, your wet cunt gripping him like a vice and trying to milk him from all he's worth and he wanted to just fuck you senseless right then and there, hips pistonning into you like his life depended on it… but he didn't - he couldn't. Not this time at least. Instead his hips moved in slow but deep, rhythmic thrusts which let him feel every ridge inside your heat and only adding to his bottomless hunger for you. You were moaning beneath him, angelic sounds to his ears but when he straightened up so he was no longer bending over you on the bed you suddenly cried out his name in pleasure, soft moans turning desperate for more.
The new angle made you feel even fuller than before, his tip angled perfectly to hit your sweet spot with every gentle thrust until your glossy eyes landed on his almost closed ones, nodding over and over “I know you're close, princess, just let go” he encouraged you, his thrusts picking up their pace to push against your sweet spot repeatedly until your toes curled and your back arched so perfectly off the mattress. His thumb rubbed tight circles onto your sensitive clit to drag out this earth shattering orgasm as long as possible - you deserved a first time to remember fondly after all but he just doesn't stop. Your breathless whines turned into cries for him, for more, for him to not stop. You were high on this feeling he gave to you, his hips rutting into you aimlessly at this point and his head was thrown back as his moans mixed with yours. “One more, just- fuck! Just one more” he groaned with a rough voice, needing to feel you clench around him in bliss again before he allowed himself to follow you.
When your pussy clenched around him as another orgasm rippled through your beautiful body he finally understood why they call it a little death. His hips thrusted into you a final time, burying himself as deep as he physically could while his dick twitched wildly inside of you and you could feel the way his balls contracted, slowly filling you up with his release. Nanami's vision went white for a moment, pure bliss taking over and his body feeling like he was floating on cloud nine - this is why they call it a little death. You were going to be his own piece of heaven, your core gripping his cock so tightly he felt like it was hard to breathe but at the same time you were the oxygen his lungs needed.
His barely there thrusts finally came to a stop and he lifted your leg off his chest and shoulder before lifting your body against his chest so you could be as close as possible without having to slip out. The way he fell onto the bed with you was almost clumsy but he didn't want to let go of you, not even for a fraction of a second.
His big hand came up to wipe a strand of hair behind your ear, a tired smile on his lips “Are you okay, doll?” he asks with his voice like silk, needing to know if you're fine and you nodded tired, laying on top of him now with your bodies still connected. Even with his own seed running out of you and onto his body and the bed beneath he made no effort to move, the moment too perfect. Your body was draped onto his, your limbs ever so tired as his hands ran up and down your back which was sticky from the sweat but he didn't mind it for one second. This moment dragged on for a while, gentle touches and even gentler kisses shared between lovers until your breath started to even out. In your half awake state you barely noticed how he carefully picked up your tired body to carry you into the room where it all began, only registering it when the sound of the water running and the scent of lavender filled your exhausted senses. “You can just rest, I'll clean you up” he whispered and lowered you into the warm water of the bathtub, following you mere seconds after where he let you rest against his chest again. You let your eyes remain closed when he picked up the softest washcloth, slowly dragging it over your arms, your torso, your legs and lastly over your sore pussy, still leaking his cum. There was nothing sexual in his touch, only tender care as he made sure to clean your body from any filth so you may rest and let him take care of you so you could wake in the bed to the smell of breakfast in the morning…
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@enchantedforest-network @themovingcastlez
842 notes · View notes
l13 · 10 months
Text
bitter
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dunno what brought this on but reader has good taste;P also let's pretend that lyla is team reader x miguel for plot reasons
word count: 2.3k
WARNINGS: NSFW 18+, MDNI, f!reader, ex!miguel, aged up bf!hobie<3, miguel has some v descriptive sexual thoughts about you (p in v sex, f!receiving oral), swearing, jealousy, ANGSTTT
English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any misspells, errors or grammatically incorrect sentences.
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Miguel often thinks about how he ended up giving in to his desires and starting a situationship with you, how he regrets it when he can tell how you've fallen for him. How your eyes crinkle when you smile at him, looking at him like he hung the moon. He regrets it because that's how he looks at you as well.
Why’d you have to ask him on that stupid date?
“That’d be unprofessional.” is what Miguel had said in reply. Because it was the truth. You were only fucking, nothing more.
You’d scoffed, “Oh come on, Miguel, we’re not office workers. Surely we can go out together?”
“What, fucking me ain’t enough for you?”
You'd huffed, your expression dull, shaking your head in disbelief, “No, actually, it isn’t. I genuinely like you, is that so bad?”
Miguel had ignored the flip his stomach did at your confession “You know why we can’t, now drop it.”
“No, I want you to tell me why.”
“It’s not in the canon” He cringes every time he remembers what he’d said, but it doesn’t change the fact that he was right. He was, but fuck, how he wanted to be wrong. He so desperately wanted it to be him that you were meant to fall in love with, him you were meant to build a life together.
“Fuck the canon.” had been your reply, before you turned to walk away and he'd made no move to follow you.
He'd failed to ignore Lyla when she'd whistled, “That was painful even for me,”
“Jesus- can you not?”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, can't interrupt your brooding time. I'm just saying. You prevented the woman of your dreams from falling in love with you, because she's meant to fall for someone else? But that's stupid- Your heart literally jumps when you see her-”
“Lyla I swear to God, if you don't stop talking-”
And now, as he stands in front of your house months later, waiting for you to answer the door, Miguel found himself to be annoyed. Annoyed that he hadn't gotten your mission report on time, and had to come and fetch it for himself.
Some sick, twisted part of his brain wanted you to have forgotten it on purpose, and ignored his calls in order for him to come over, maybe reconcile- fuck your brains out till you're begging him to take you back, even if it meant putting your feelings aside.
“She better be home,” Miguel hisses to himself, his hand massaging his temples, and he doesn't even flinch when Lyla shows up out of nowhere “Oh, she is. The thermal scan picks her up, see? Wait who’s-”
Miguel was thankful for the interruption, but what he saw when you opened the door was not at all what he expected, or was even prepared for.
You were practically naked, an oversized t-shirt covering your body, stopping just under your ass and- Jesus Christ were those thigh highs? Yes they were, pretty ones, too. They were sheer white tights, that ended just in the middle of your plush thighs, the material hugging your legs beautifully, the very top of them decorated with a lace material, giving them a sexy twist.
God, he'd get on his knees right here and now if you just asked-Miguel licked his lips and cleared his throat, quickly averting his gaze, praying that he doesn't appear flustered.
“Miguel! Are you okay? Is something wrong? Hey Lyla-” you seem out of breath as you talk, clearly not bothered by your lack of clothing in front of him. Lyla offers you a bright hello and wave, one you softly smile at.
No, he's not fucking okay.
“I'm great.” he hisses, but really he was trying to convince himself of it. You study him for a bit longer before humming, not believing him for a moment.
“I need the report from the mission that you were sent to do yesterday. The one you forgot to send me.” Miguel inhales sharply and stands taller, trying to hide the fact that your presence damages his brain functionality severely, by trying to look more intimidating.
Memories of last night flash in your mind suddenly, being pressed against your bookshelf, the furniture rattling loudly, books almost toppling to the floor, but you didn’t have the heart in you to care. Not when he was grinding up at you, hand under your thigh to keep you upright as you moaned against his mouth crossing your legs around his waist and bringing him closer, the sound of your watch beeping pulling you out of your trance, “Fuck, wait. T-the reports-”
He undid your watch expertly with one hand, and you gasped trying to snatch it from his grasp, but he held it up above your head, placing it on top of your bookshelf carelessly, before grabbing the top shelf to brace himself and grind himself harder against you, moaning under his breath, “Fuck ‘em.”
Your eyes widen comically, and you sputter, “Right! Shit- fuck. I'm sorry, umm, wait here.” and you slam the door right in his face. Miguel's eyebrow twitches.
There's shuffling from inside before Miguel realizes that you're talking to someone-
“Can you go in five minutes? Please?”
“Nah, ‘m afraid I need to go right now, love. Got things to do, places to be.”
“Can't you open up a portal here?”
“When there’s a perfectly usable front door? I don’ think so,” “C’mon pretty.. what are y’so afraid of?”
“He’s our boss.”
“He’s your ex. Now, if you’re ashamed to be seen with me, I get it-”
“No! Baby, no. I just don’t want to rub it in his face, don't want him to think that I am either,”
“But that’s so boring. Let’s make ‘im suffer, you’ll thank me later-”
“Hob-”
The door opens suddenly and Miguel could act surprised, could act like he’s been waiting for quite a while not knowing what’s going on inside, but he doesn’t. Not when he’s face to face with Hobie. Not when he obviously knows how good Miguel’s hearing is, how he could definitely hear every word that was spoken, not when you’d tried to be nice- tried to whisper and be subtle, not when Hobie blatantly did the opposite out of spite.
So he just stares ahead with a blank face, as Hobie leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest lazily. There’s a hickey on his neck and Miguel feels like he might throw up.
And somehow, Miguel still thinks that this is all some sick joke, a prank, a dream. Anything to explain what he's seeing. Because there’s no way you're dating Hobie. There’s no way you fucked Hobie fucking Brown- the single most annoying person in Miguel’s life (after peter, of course). And after what, only eight months after you stopped seeing him? That's how long it took for you to get over him? He can almost hear Lyla laughing in his head, 'You're just bitter that you're not over her yet'
Hobie smirks at him “Hello mate, long time no see.” Miguel at least has the human decency to offer him a curt nod, which Hobie apparently finds hilarious as he huffs out a laugh, “'S alright if I send my report later, right? I'm kind of exhausted right now, did a lot of runnin' yesterday, y'know,”
Lyla visibly winces and disappears a second later.
Running. Miguel needed breathing exercises and he needed them now-
Miguel's eyes snapped to yours. Were you just gonna let Hobie talk all that shit, without saying anything? (Knowing Hobie's life was in imminent danger?) Apparently so, because you just scoffed and rolled your eyes with a smile on your face. What a great couple you two made.
He refused to believe that this is who you chose, refused to acknowledge that his anger was pointed at himself and not you. He’d never, ever, admit it, not even at gunpoint, but Hobie was a good kid, he’d treat you right and that's what pissed him off the most.
“Fuck the canon.” Hobie would have laughed and nodded in agreement at your words, not Miguel though. Miguel had said nothing and it had cost him his future with you.
Sensing that Miguel wouldn’t reply anytime soon, Hobie just shrugged nonchalantly, “Thanks for understanding, boss.”
Miguel felt like he could hear his own veins pulsing. Boss, he'd called him boss. That little-
Turning to you, Hobie throws a hand around your waist and squeezes you against him, pressing a kiss on your cheek “I'll see you later love, don' forget to put some ice on that, yeah?” he lays a slap on your ass that makes you almost tumble forward, and Hobie's smirk widens when he sees Miguel ball his fists at his sides, nostrils flaring. Hobie throws a wink at Miguel before squeezing through him to walk out, seeing as Miguel didn't make any attempt to get out of the way.
Miguel doesn't turn to see him open up a portal to leave, he's too busy looking at the way the multi-colored lights illuminate your face, how you grin and wave shyly at your boyfriend.
“So sorry about him.. d'you wanna come in?” you ask, shifting from one leg to another once the portal disappears. Miguel just stares at you, eyes hooded, mouth pressed in a tight line.
“Ookay, I’ll just go get the- yeah” you trail off and turn to walk deeper into your apartment, and Miguel hates himself for craning his neck to catch a glimpse of your ass. And then hates himself even more when he thinks about how smug Hobie would be if he knew Miguel was checking out his girl. He'd say some dumb shit like "Wanting somethin' you can't have again, boss?"
Meanwhile, you're standing on your tippy-toes in front of your infamous bookshelf, arm outstretched, trying to grab your watch but to no use, cursing Hobie in your mind for putting it so high up. You had no idea that by trying to get your stupid watch, you were giving Miguel the perfect view of your backside, seeing as your shirt rode up each time you stretched out your arm.
No, fuck that. You knew exactly what you were doing, and Hobie was right. Let him suffer. He chose this, so now he can deal with the consequences.
Miguel wanted to give everything up right then and there. It's funny how quickly you could strip him of his morals, and he just wishes he could have done that before realizing he'd lost you forever. He could picture his future in his mind so clearly, if only he'd just said yes to your question.
“Will you go out with me?"
He’d resign, move out some place nice, next to a beach preferably. Spend his days laying on the sand and drinking piña coladas with no care in the world.
Except you’d be there. Straddling his lap to steal his drink, giggling and laughing when he tried to take it back from you. He’d grab your hips and with a swift motion you'd switch places, your back against the hot sand. The drink would spill from the movement, the liquid falling over your bikini covered tits, and you’d gasp oh-so prettily when he’d bend to lick it all up.
You’d moan even sweeter when he’d move lower, when he’d eat you out till you’re a crying, babbling mess, whining that you can’t take it anymore. Oh, but you could. You would take it, and he’d prove it when he’d later fuck you against the pool, and he’d make sure he fucked you good. Your mewls would be panted against his ear as he’d thrust into you relentlessly, your fingers digging into his wet back, and all he’d taste would be your pretty moans and the faint taste of rum against his tongue.
His cheeks would hurt from how hard he'd be grinning as he stared at you when you both would go for a walk by the beach later. He'd jog up to you, springing you in his arms, nuzzling his head against your hair- your distinctive smell fogging up his brain- your laughter mixing together, as you chased each other through the waves.
When you'd had enough, and stood panting, your -now wet- dress clinging to you like second skin, he'd drop to his knee, pulling out a ring from his pocket, one he was anxious not to drop when he was chasing you around, and you'd gape at him, tears already welling up in your eyes.
You would have said yes that night. In fact, the word would have been repeated against his shoulder as he fucked you later, rolling his hips into you slowly, kissing your pretty tears, holding you, loving you–
“Done! I just sent it–,” you could have sworn you and Miguel shivered at the same time when he blinked down at you, his mouth parted. His eyes were glistening all of a sudden, and it made your whole being fill with a sense of longing and dread.
“Lyla?” you swallowed harshly at Miguel's hoarse tone, gnawing at your lip as you avoided his gaze.
It was as if Lyla knew not to fuck with him either, because she didn't even make him beg for it, instead pulling up a hologram that showed the report, “Yup, got it!”
You cleared your throat, eager to get back into bed and forget the look on his face just now, suddenly feeling nostalgic for a memory you couldn't quite place- “I'm sorry that I forgot, it won’t happen again, promise.”
Yes it will.
“See you back at HQ?”
Miguel hums, not saying anything, not even caring to correct you, because he’d sooner see you in his dreams than at headquarters.
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2023 © l13 | Do not steal, copy, edit, translate or re-post any of my works.
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asonofpeter · 5 months
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It's My Party
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Pairing: Dark!Rafe Cameron x Plus-Sized!Best Friend!Fem!Reader
Summary: It's Rafe's birthday, so he could do whatever he wants, right?
Word Count: 8.4k
Warnings: 18+ ONLY, NON-C0N/DUB-C0N, substance use, alcohol, oral (m and f receiving), nipple play, vaginal sex, unprotected sex
A/N: Woah! Where'd this come from? I honestly have no idea, I wrote this in like three days and I love it. My first full Rafe fic? YAY! I've been kinda down so I'm glad I was able to write this! Also pictures in moodboard are my personal perceptions of how Reader looks, doesn't translate into the story besides her being a plus-size queen! Enjoy! 💕💕💕
PLEASE HEED WARNINGS BEFORE READING! I DON'T CONSENT TO THIS WORK BEING REPOSTED, COPIED OR TRANSLATED!
“C’mon, Y/N, it’s my birthday,” Rafe chuckled, leaning back on his arms on your bed. “I wanna make sure the hottest girl at the party is wearing a pretty outfit,” he said, his striking blue eyes running over your frame. 
Your mouth fell open at his comment. You stared back at yourself in the mirror, studying the outfit Rafe had gotten for you. 
It was a dainty light pink sun dress with cherries on it paired with a matching ruffled tie-up cover. It was cute, feminine, soft. 
Just like you. 
“It’s not your birthday yet, Rafe,” you shook your head with a smile, glancing at your best friend before running your hands over the cotton.
“But it will be,” he replied. “So what do you think?” He referred back to the outfit. He had stood up by then, stalking over to you so that his front brushed with your back. The heat of him radiating onto your skin. 
The heat between your legs grew, but you forced it away. Shaking your head clear of any possibilities, you glanced in the mirror to look your best friend in the eyes. 
His intense stare was already on you.
“I love the outfit, but I don’t know about it making me the hottest girl at the party,” you snorted before walking away from the mirror to grab your clothes to change back into. You felt him roll his eyes at your statement but you ignored it as you turned back around to face him.
“You’re already the hottest girl, so that won’t be a problem,” he said, eyes darkening. 
This time you rolled your eyes.
“Really?” You scoffed. “You’re aware that the blonde skinny chicks are going to be throwing themselves at you, right? You won’t even notice I’m there,” you blew out a breath.
While you were comfortable in your own skin, loving your stomach rolls, stretch marks, and flabby skin—you also knew that you weren’t society's beauty standard. So it always confused you when Rafe flirted with you.
He would call you hot one minute and the next you’re seeing a blonde skinny girl walk out of his room with her clothes disheveled.
Still, he was just your best friend and you’re sure he only meant it for a fun laugh. He was never serious. 
As you were about to go into your bathroom, leaving the conversation, you felt a firm hand wrap around your arm.
“Why would I pay attention to those girls when I have you?” He questioned, face hard as he stared at you. “It’s my party and if I say you’re gonna be the hottest girl there, then you’re going to be the hottest girl there,” he squeezed you slightly. 
You exhaled sharply, dropping your gaze as you felt your cheeks flush once more. Sometimes you wondered if Rafe was truly attracted to you or if it was all a big lie just to get in your pants. “Okay, didn’t know it was a big deal,” you ripped your arm away from his grip. 
You also wondered if that curiosity was the reason you knew you’d never want to explore a relationship with him. Curiosity killed the cat and what you have with Rafe now is more than perfect for you to be wandering on a side of regret.
“Just wanted to make it known,” he shrugged, stepping back. “So do you like the outfit?” He asked.
Your face softened as you smiled. “Of course, I love it,” you emphasized, earning a smile from him. You closed the bathroom door behind you leaving him in your room.
Rafe had come over just like any other day. You expected you’d be driving to the club like always but today he had a bag from your favorite store in his hand. His smile brightened at the way your face lit up at the sight of it. 
You assumed it was another piece of jewelry or a handbag he made a habit of buying you. But no, it was an outfit this time around. And it was actually your size. Part of you wondered how he guessed so accurately but then you realized you weren’t giving him enough credit. 
He had bought you a cute outfit for a special occasion, and you were happy. 
“Are we still going to the country club? I’ve been craving their strawberry-mango smoothie,” you stated as you walked out of the bathroom, knowing the fruity drink had been on your mind since you had it well over two weeks ago. 
“We could do whatever you want,” he grinned.
~
There were few things in life Rafe enjoyed. And his birthday was one of them.
It was the one day out of the year that was about him. The one day out of the year when Sarah wasn’t the favorite. The one day out of the year that his dad didn’t look at him with disappointment or disapproval. It was the one day out of the year that he was celebrated just for existing. 
Most importantly, you would go all out. Planning him the perfect day to make him feel extra special. He doesn’t think he’d have any other person do that for him.
The thought brought a smile to his face and it only grew when you opened the door, greeting him immediately.
“Happy birthday!” You wrapped your arms around him, shoving your face in the crook of his neck. 
He wrapped his arms around you, enjoying the smell of your perfume.
“Mr. 21,” you smirked, pulling away. “You feel old?” You joked.
“Not yet,” he reached up to push a piece of hair out of your face. “You look beautiful as always,” he complimented, loving the way you grew flustered. He raked his gaze over your body, taking in each curve, craving to touch the softness of your body, but he noticed a big thing was missing. “Where’s the outfit?” He questioned. 
“It’s in here,” you held up the bag in your hand. “That’s my party outfit, but we’re going golfing and I don’t want to sweat in it,” you explained. 
“I was gonna say,” he smirked before nodding towards his truck, implying it was time to go.
“Have some faith in me, Rafe,” you gazed at him, your eyes sending him a look he couldn’t decipher but his mind told him what he wanted to believe. 
He chuckled in response as he opened the door for you. 
“I have all my faith in you”.
Rafe knew it was the right thing to put all his faith in you. No one ever cared for him more than you, loved him more than you, treated him with respect more than you. You were safe, warm, and reliable. 
He glanced over as you watched the scenery pass by. You had your hands folded neatly in your lap, your skirt stretching over your thick thighs he craved to have wrapped around his waist or his head. 
You were goddamn gorgeous and the thought of you created an unquenchable thirst. Hell, he’s been thirsty since he realized he was attracted to you back in high school. But you were so fucking oblivious to his flirtatious remarks that you’ve never been more than best friends.
Curling his fingers around the steering wheel, he pushed the thought to the back of his head. Focusing on the road.
You arrived at the club shortly later, your water bottle in hand as you made it to the golf carts. You had one job today—sit pretty and cheer Rafe on.
Turning in your seat to face the course, you waved at the two men waiting on Rafe. They waved back before greeting the man of honor. Soon they started their game, Rafe’s name leaving your lips every time he hit the ball.
You didn’t understand the sport, found it rather boring. But it was his birthday so you faked your way through it with the biggest smile on your face. It wasn’t until you were done reapplying your sunscreen that he called your name.
Lifting your head to find him at the bottom of the short hill, he waved you over. You met him and the boys there, a puzzled look on your face.
“It’s the last hole, why don’t you give it a shot?” He grinned, eyes shielded from his sunglasses but you could still feel his intense gaze. 
Sticking your sunglasses in your hair, you squinted to where the flag was. “I don’t know how to play,” you stated matter-of-factly. “Besides, you guys are having fun, I’m just the cheerleader,” you puffed out a small laugh.
“It’s my birthday, c’mon,” Rafe tipped his head. “It’ll be fun,” he encouraged. “I’ll show you”.
You let out a soft breath, caving in. “Just this once,” you pointed. You stepped in front of Rafe’s welcoming stance, allowing him to envelope his arms around you. 
He showed you where to place your hands and position your fingers, his hands on top of yours. Almost every inch of him was pressed against you—his hands rested on your forearms, his chest against your back, and his front pressing against your ass. 
You gulped as the feeling made you hot before you attempted to ignore the proximity but you couldn’t. You just couldn’t. And when he swung the club, following through, you smelled the masculine scent of his cologne, your knees buckling.
“Atta girl,” he grinned, stepping away to watch as the ball landed close to the hole.
“Damn, Y/N,” Kelce chuckled. 
“You should join us for the full game next time,” Topper smirked.
You felt your cheeks heat up. “Thanks, guys, but I’m sitting out any future games,” you smiled. 
“You just need a little more convincing,” Rafe slid his arm around your shoulders. 
The four of you began heading back to the carts. Top and Kelce were in front while you and Rafe stayed behind.
“How’s your birthday so far?” 
“It’s more than perfect”.
~
“Wow,” Rafe smirked, watching as you walked out of his bathroom, now changed into the outfit he had specifically picked out for you. He reached for your hand, raising it in the air so you could spin. “You’re incredible,” he breathed out, in a complete daze.
“Rafe,” you dragged, avoiding his gaze as the heat grew on your face. “Thanks for the outfit, it’s really nice,” you played with the sleeves of the cropped cardigan. “But it was really expensive, I-,” you began, but he raised a hand.
“You’ll find a way to repay me,” he finished your thought, his blue eyes darkening. “But right now, we’re gonna celebrate my birthday,” he pointed over his shoulder towards the door where the party was starting.
With your hand in his, you nodded, letting him pull you along. 
You met up with Kelce and Top in the kitchen, everyone wishing Rafe a happy birthday as you passed. You thanked Kelce as he handed you a cup of water. The night was still young so you had enough time to catch up with the rest of the partygoers.
Leaning against the counter, you listened to the guys' conversation, droning in and out of it when parts became boring. It wasn’t until you spotted a few girls making their way toward the group, that a smile appeared on your face when you figured they came for Rafe.
While you held some feelings for Rafe, all you wanted was for him to settle down with a nice girl. One you could maybe be friends with too. It was a little fantasy you had.
“I love your dress, Y/N,” one of the girls complimented, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. 
The three Kook girls were standing in front of you and Rafe. You were a bit shocked that they acknowledged you first, but you welcomed their kindness.
“Thanks,” you rolled your lips together in a smile. “Your earrings are so cute,” you gestured to the gold hoops she had. 
She hummed before her attention turned to Rafe. “Happy birthday, Rafe,” she brushed her hand along his arm, squeezing his bicep. “Me and a few of my friends are gonna head into the pool if you wanna join,” she batted her lashes.
“Maybe later,” he pressed his lips together in a smile. “I’m with my friend right now,” he slid his arm over your shoulders.
You furrowed your brows, glancing at him like he was insane for turning down her offer. “He’s kidding,” you butted in. “You guys have fun,” you pressed a hand on his back, urging him closer to the girl.
“Awesome!” She beamed, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the patio.
Rafe glanced back at you with a look you couldn’t decipher but as he noticed the smile on your lips he only turned back around, shaking his head and chuckling. 
You knew he’d thank you later just as Kelce and Topper did when the other two girls dragged them along to the pool as well. You grabbed your water from the counter before weaving through the house. Just as you were about to go outside for some fresh air, you bumped into someone.
“Shit, my bad,” they apologized, placing a hand on your arm. “You okay?”
You gazed up to see a very handsome guy—tall, with dark eyes, dark hair, and dimples that were so kissable. 
“Yeah,” you shook your head, a little dazed by his beauty. “I’m fine,” you reassured. Many guys on the island were attractive enough to catch your eye, but this guy was something else.
“Can I get you a drink? Since I spilled yours,” he offered and that's when you noticed your cup was on the floor.
“Sure,” you beamed. “It was just water though,” you added with a shrug.
“A water for the lady then,” he grinned. 
You followed him back into the kitchen where he got you a new cup. He had asked if you were heading outside so you nodded as he grabbed your hand, leading you past the pool where you saw Rafe hanging out with the girl from before. 
A smile fell on your face, glad to see him have fun before you stopped at a bench under a tree in the yard. 
“I’ve never seen you around the island,” you told the guy, smoothing out the skirt of your dress before sitting down. 
“I’m visiting my cousin, he brought me along,” he answered. “What about you? You live here?” He gestured to the house.
“Oh, no” you snickered. “My best friend lives here, it’s his party,” you explained. You glanced back at those brown eyes, chewing on your lip as the butterflies in your stomach fluttered. There was a new feeling in your stomach tonight, far from basic attraction—there was more. 
But you couldn’t pinpoint it. Still, the longer you talked to this guy, the more you felt it.
“I was struggling to stand up on that board, that wave was huge!” He exclaimed, gesturing with his hands. 
You hid your laugh with your hand, doubling over as he told his story. “You’re kidding?! How did you make it?” 
“Pure luck and ambition,” he shrugged, sipping his drink. “But I also learned maybe there’s a reason you shouldn’t surf during a thunderstorm,” he joked.
You agreed. “I’m glad you lived to tell the tale,” you reached over to touch his arm, gazing at him through your lashes.
His eyes flicked over your frame before he hummed out in agreement. “Me too”. 
Silence engulfed you for a moment, it felt like the world had stopped and only you and him were in existence. Letting the feeling in your tummy guide you, you leaned in. 
He followed, reaching over to place a hand on your waist and soon his lips were on yours. Your hand reached up to thread through his hair, deepening the kiss. 
You kissed for what felt like hours but in reality, it was only minutes. It was a soft and innocent kiss, but it felt so intense, so hot. You were fully making out with a stranger at a party and all you could worry about was the heating sensation igniting in your heart.
Unsure of it, you still didn’t want it to stop, unfortunately, it did.
“Watch out!” You heard Rafe scream as a ball flew over your head and bounced off the tree trunk. You yelped, heart racing at the thought that it could’ve hit you square in the face. Immediately, you saw Rafe jog over towards you. 
He was in his swim trunks, chest bare, and water dripping down his abs. 
You licked your lips unconsciously, the familiar feeling burning between your legs but you pushed it aside when you focused your attention back on the guy, making sure he was okay and he placed a hand on your knee in response.
“You okay, Y/N?” Rafe caught up to you. “Didn’t see you until the ball slipped from my hands,” he chuckled, running a hand over his head.
“I’m fine, Rafe,” you reassured.
“Didn’t realize you weren’t alone,” he cleared his throat, sending a glance to the guy.
“This is,” you placed your hand on top of his that was resting on your knee. You paused, realizing you didn’t know his name.
“Eric,” he answered with a smile. 
“Eric,” you repeated, unable to control your growing smile. You liked his name. Turning back to Rafe, you chose to ignore the frown on his face.
“Happy birthday, man,” Eric turned to Rafe. “Sick party,” he smiled and you grinned between him and Rafe. 
“Yeah, thanks, Y/N threw it for me,” Rafe said, his eyes flicking to yours before they rested back on the hand that was on your knee.
“No way, you have a talent,” he squeezed your knee and you felt your cheeks heat up.
You shrugged bashfully and you narrowly missed the snort that left Rafe. 
“I was about to head back inside,” Rafe pointed towards the house. “We were gonna get a few drinks,” he trailed.
“Okay, have fun,” you said. “I’m gonna chill out here with Eric,” you added, leaning into his side. You also chose to ignore the way his jaw clenched.
“Okay, sounds good,” he pressed his lips together in a smile before he made his way back.
Once he was out of your eyesight, you turned back to Eric, threading your fingers through his hair and resuming what you were doing before.
~
Rafe didn’t want to leave you tonight, especially on his birthday. But you had practically pushed him into the girl’s awaiting hands. He didn’t understand why you were so happy to do that, didn’t you see how more perfect you’d be in her place? 
Was he not obvious?
As he stared back at you, the smile adorning your lips, he knew the answer. Which is why he turned back around, allowing the girl to lead him to the pool. 
He tried to have a fun time, jumping in the pool with her. He could admit that she was attractive but nothing compared to you.
As he, the girl, Kelce, and her friend had a chicken fight, his mind continued to wander to where you might be. 
Kelce and Top were in the pool with him, meaning you were alone. You could’ve sat in one of the lounge chairs, enjoying the game, but when he glanced over, you weren’t there. The thought of you alone in the house irked him, what if someone spikes your drink or makes you uncomfortable?
Your laugh answered his prayers but another question came to mind, who was making you laugh?
He was about to jump out of the pool when the girl stopped him, handing him a shot of something while she pressed her boobs against him. He chuckled, taking the shot from her. He was distracted for a moment but then he heard your laugh again. 
This time he exited the pool, leaving the girl dumbfounded. It didn’t take long to find you but he wasn’t expecting you to be so far from the party, alone, with a guy.
He inhaled sharply. 
There was no way, right? He’s been drinking all night, his mind was painting a picture he didn’t want to see. But then the sight of you leaning in to kiss the guy, his hand sliding over your waist and yours fingering through his hair made that anger grow. 
To his side a few guys were kicking a ball around, without another thought, he grabbed it, throwing it in your direction. He knew it’d miss you but he still shouted out your name before he went running in your direction.
You pulled away from the guy, your eyes going wide as the ball hit the tree over your head. 
He checked on you, hoping the incident would make you open your eyes and realize you shouldn’t be spending the night with a stranger on your best friend’s birthday. But that’s not what you had done at all.
Instead, you snuggled up to the guy “Eric”, letting him keep his hand on your knee, and telling Rafe to have fun.
He swallowed down the jealousy, forcing a smile before making his way back to the house. The thought of you outside with him made his blood boil. Even more so when he snorted up a line in the kitchen a few moments later.
The white powder was the second thing that could calm him besides you. Still, he preferred you.
“Eric,” Kelce said the name in thought. “I don’t know an Eric,” he shrugged. 
“I mean look at her man, she seems to like him well enough,” Topper said, glancing at the way you were staring at the dude.
Wiping his nose, Rafe sent him a look. 
There you were, busting out in laughter again at something. “I don’t trust him,” he chewed on the inside of his cheek, eyes locked on you as you giggled behind your hand. 
When had you ever laughed like that towards him before? When had you ever been so focused on a guy other than him? 
“That’s for her to decide,” Kelce laughed. “And by the looks of it, she seems to trust him well enough,” he snickered behind his cup. 
Rafe grimaced, running his tongue over his teeth as Eric rubbed his hand along the exposed skin of your thigh. If he had known the short skirt he explicitly picked out for you would lead to that, he might’ve rethought the outfit entirely.
“Well I don’t, it’s my party, I can decide who’s attending and who’s not,” his gaze darkened and his friends sent him a look.
“Hey, man, Y/N’s having a great time. Are you sure you want to do that?” Topper asked, aware of what Rafe was implying.
“I know what I said,” he stated before he began walking towards you. He heard Topper mutter under his breath but he paid no attention to it.
“Oh, hi,” you turned to face your best friend who appeared in front of you. “Back so sudden?” You asked, gazing behind him where the house was still active. 
“Yeah, I was thinking it was time to head back inside,” he said. “It’s getting kinda cold,” he added.
“I’m fine,” you dismissed. “Do you need me for something or-” You were cut off by him.
“Nah, I just think it’s time for us to head back inside, it’s late,” he stated, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“I said I was fine here, Rafe,” you said his name but he didn’t like the way you said it. 
He narrowed his gaze, running a hand over his mouth as he contemplated. “Get inside, Y/N,” he opted to say. The look on your face told him what you were thinking. “I mean it”.
“She said she’s fine,” Eric stood up, blocking Rafe from you. 
Rafe placed his hands on his hips, dropping his head down as he let out a chuckle. “I don’t remember asking you,” he jutted a finger into Eric’s chest. “Actually, I don’t remember inviting you to my party,” he grinned.
You stood behind Eric, frowning as you stared at your best friend. Even under the moonlight, you could see how blown out his eyes were. The knowledge didn’t settle with you. So you stepped around Eric, grabbing hold of Rafe’s arm to prevent anything from escalating.
“C’mon, Rafe, I’ll go,” you sighed.
He relaxed, smiling down at the hand that was intertwined with his and the other on his forearm. He glanced back up at Eric, sending him a look of victory. 
“You don’t have to listen to him,” Eric directed to you. 
“I’m sorry,” you blew out a breath. “It’s best if you go, Eric,” you frowned, tears pricking in your eyes and Rafe couldn’t help but grow angry at that. You shouldn’t be crying over a boy you met a couple of hours ago. With your statement though, Eric left. 
Rafe led you back into the house and he couldn’t help the feeling of pride swell as you clung to his arm.
You, on the other hand, tried to keep a smile on your face but you couldn’t feel the pang in your heart at what you missed out on. Why did Rafe need you back in the house? You wondered.
“C’mon, drink up, it’ll take your mind off of him,” Rafe handed you a cup with some type of liquor in it.
You sent him a look and he rolled his eyes.
“It’s my birthday,” he encouraged. “I want my best friend to be having fun too,” he grinned, pushing the cup into your hand.
You pressed your lips together. “Alright,” you sighed, giving in for the third time today. The bitter taste landed on your tongue and you cringed as it burned down your throat.
Rafe chuckled beside you, quickly pouring you another. “See, you’re having fun already”.
The longer the party went on, the more drinks you had. You weren’t drunk but you could feel the buzz. Reaching for a few of the snacks on the counter, you hoped you’d be able to sober up but Rafe had another idea.
“Let’s head up, yeah?”
You nodded, reaching for his hand as you began making your way up the stairs. You were still down about Eric, but you knew it was better than dealing with Rafe punching the life out of him. You didn’t enjoy his violent tendencies, especially when the white substance made it worse, but you tried to push past it, noting the good qualities he had.
He was loyal, smart, and confident.
Sometimes you wish that was enough for you.
You brushed past him as he opened his bedroom door for you. You found your bag on his bed, searching for his gift deciding now would be a good time to give it to him. Even though you were slightly pissed at him, he was still your best friend and it was his birthday.
He smiled at you when you sat on his bed and patted the spot next to you so he could sit. 
“Happy birthday,” you grinned, passing him the small box, and your shoulders pressed together. 
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he raised a brow but he took it from you nonetheless.
“Shh, just open it,” you laughed, watching as he did.
His gaze softened at the gold Rolex. He hummed out in delight, thanking you in the process.
“There’s an inscription,” you pointed at the expensive watch. 
He turned the watch over to find that there was. His thumb traced over the words you picked out.
Rafe, you’re worthy of everything. Love, Y/N.
His heart swelled at the sentence. He wasn’t often told he was worthy of anything so for you to say he was meant it all. “Thank you, Y/N,” he swallowed.
You could tell he appreciated the sentiment so you wrapped your arms around him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Anytime for you, Rafe,” you smiled, gazing into his eyes. “What does the birthday boy want to do now? I’m sure the girls are waiting for you to rejoin them in the pool,” you smirked, standing up and walking over to the window. 
Part of you wished that Eric was still outside, but he was long gone. The other part of you already accepted the loss, knowing something worse could've come from it if Rafe had escalated things.
Which in the past, he’s done many times.
You turned back around to face your best friend.
“Nah,” he said after a pause. “I kinda wanna stay up here with you,” he said.
“I don’t think that’s much fun when the party is downstairs,” you pointed towards the window.
“Who says we can’t have a party of our own?” He smirked, holding a small bag in his hand.
“By all means, enjoy yourself, Rafe,” you chuckled. 
“It won’t be fun if you’re not doing it”.
“Rafe,” you warned. 
“C’mon, it’s my birthday,” he said.
“Just this once,” you rolled your eyes, deciding you could indulge for one night.
He smirked, standing up and guiding you to his desk. He lined one up for you, instructing you how to do it. 
You cringed at the feeling, moving from the seat and walking back to the bed as you rubbed your nose.
“See, that wasn’t so bad,” he found his spot next to you, laying back on his bed. He folded his arms behind his head and you couldn’t help but peek at his lower abdomen that became exposed from his shirt riding up. “This is probably the best birthday I’ve had,” he chuckled.
“Yeah, why’s that?” You decided to humor him.
He sat up, leaning in close so his chest pressed against your shoulder. “I got the hottest girl in my room, wearing the most beautiful dress,” he sucked in a breath, nuzzling his nose against your cheek. 
Your face grew hot and you gulped. “You could have a hotter girl in here if you didn’t chase Eric away,” you bit, unsure why you said it.
He rolled his eyes. “You’re still sad about that?” 
“I’m just confused,” you breathed out. “I was having a good time with a cute guy, is that so wrong?” You asked.
“Yes,” he stated and your jaw went slack. 
“You’re kidding,” you laughed, shaking your head. 
“It’s your best friend’s birthday and instead of hanging out with him you’re kissing a dude you don’t even know?” He spoke with his hands, his movements becoming erratic and that had you worried. 
“Rafe, I spent the whole day with you, you were hanging out with that girl earlier, what happened to her? She was cute!” You exclaimed.
He stood up, walked over to the window and he ran a hand over his face. He was pacing back and forth in front of you as you shifted on the bed.
“You think I care about her?” He stopped in front of you. “I didn’t want to go in the fucking pool with her but I did because of you!” He shouted. 
You flinched. 
“I don’t give a fuck about any other person besides you!” He yelled. “And it fucking sucks when that feeling isn’t reciprocated by my own fucking best friend,” he huffed, chest rising.
Your heart dropped and felt a sting in the back of your eyes. You didn’t realize you were crying until a sob broke through you. 
Rafe stilled and he let out a sigh. “I-,” he inhaled, pressing his fist to his head. He dropped to his knees in front of you, placing his hands on your knees. “You don’t get it, okay? You’re the only one on my side, the only one who makes me feel like I’m not crazy,” he dropped his head to your thigh, his hands squeezing your sides like he was afraid you’d leave. 
“I care so fucking much about you,” you cried. “Everything I do is with you in mind,” you closed your eyes, your hands settling on his head as you began to run your nails along his buzzed hair. “This entire party, the entire day, I chose not to go to college so we could be close, I-,” you sucked in a breath, trying to decide what the point was. “I gave up on what I could have with Eric so you didn’t get upset,” you wiped your eye.
“What you could have?” He lifted his head to stare up at you. “What do you mean by that?” He leaned back. 
“Love, Rafe,” you answered.
“What about us?” He furrowed his brows. 
“Romantic love,” you elaborated. “Why do you think I’m always trying to hook you up with a nice girl?” You tipped your head to the side. 
You both stared at each other in disbelief before Rafe stood up, running his hand over his head. 
“I already told you I don’t want another girl,” he shook his head. “I want you,” he faced you again. 
You were left dumbfounded. 
“Are you honestly that blind?” He narrowed his gaze. 
This time, you stood up. “We’re friends, Rafe, nothing more!” 
He quickly stepped towards you, gripping your face in his hand firmly so you were forced to look at him. “You really think that’s all we’re meant to be?” He scoffed, flicking his gaze over you.
Your eyes were wide and you tried to push him off of you but he instead wrapped his other arm around you to keep you in place.
“Look at us, sweetheart,” he said. “If you really think all we’ll ever be is just friends, then you’re adorable,” he chuckled. “I think it’s about time you realize it was always meant to be us,” he licked his lips, eyes boring into yours. “Tonight was supposed to be perfect, I had it all planned,” he began. “Tonight was the night we were supposed to make things official,” he breathed out.
“Rafe,” you clutched his wrist, trying to pry his hand off of your face. “We’re just friends,” you restated, fear spreading over your eyes.
“We’re just friends,” he mocked you and you frowned, tears pricking in your eyes. “Stop playing dumb, for once, will you?” He taunted. “Did you think we’d go our entire lives without ending up with each other? Why do you think I’ve never dated anyone seriously, or you?” He tipped his head to the side.
Your stomach dropped. Is that why all the boys who were interested in you never lasted or never got the chance to properly ask you out? 
“We get each other, no one else will. We’re from good families and you’re the only girl my father will ever approve of,” he gulped. “So let me ask you again,” he inhaled. “Did you really think we’d never be more than just friends?” 
Your heart dropped. “Is that the only reason you want us to be together? Because of money and status?” You asked, voice shaky. “Am I just some silly pawn to get your father’s approval?” You felt a tear slip down your cheek but Rafe was quick to wipe it away with his thumb.
“Stop asking stupid questions,” he pressed his forehead against yours. 
You shakingly let out a breath, closing your eyes as more tears slipped. The proximity and his grip had you uneased. You were confused. 
“It’s always been you, Y/N,” he rubbed his nose against yours. 
Your breath hitched as you stilled, unsure how to respond. But it seemed like he already knew the answer to his own question. His silence is what caused the sobs to rack through your body.
“Hey,” he cooed, stepping back and letting go of you. “Don’t cry,” he used his thumbs to gently wipe under your eyes. “C’mere,” he wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to cry into his chest. 
It felt strange to be consoled by the man who brought tears to your eyes, yet, here you were. Still, there was nothing more comforting than Rafe, you thought.
He led you to sit back on the bed, bringing a tissue to wipe your face once you calmed down. “Cheer up, okay?” His lips curved into a smile. “It’s still my birthday, we should be celebrating”.
You nodded. “You’re right,” you inhaled, hoping this conversation would be left in the past.
He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest as he pressed his lips to your temple before he pinched your chin, guiding you to look up at him and before you knew it, his lips were on yours.
Your eyes widened and you tried to pull away but the angle you were in made you fear he could break your neck at the grip he had on your chin. Still, as his lips continued to move against yours, you couldn’t help but melt at his touch. 
This feeling was something you’ve been curious about for so long. The fire, desire, and passion that was enveloped in the kiss lit you up. It was intense. He loosened his grip on your chin, cradling the back of your neck as you moved your lips against his. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you moaned, but that was the wake-up call you needed. 
You quickly shoved him away, getting off the bed and creating some distance between the two of you. “You can’t do that!” You pressed your fingers to your lips and you still felt him there.
He stood up, stalking closer to you. With each step, you took one back. “What am I gonna have to do to get you to understand that I can?” He reached for you and he was fast, pulling you against him once more.
He was strong, you’ll give him credit for that and it was scary how you didn’t realize it before.
“Rafe,” you exhaled, turning your head away, feeling the intense presence of his stare.
“Am I gonna have to fuck you?” He hummed. 
Your eyes widened and you struggled to remove yourself from him again.
“I think I’m gonna have to fuck you to get it into your pretty head,” he chuckled, squeezing you tight so you’d stop moving. 
“No,” you shook your head, hands pressing against his biceps. “Rafe, please,” you pleaded.
“Oh, I love it when you beg,” he smirked. “But fine,” he loosened his grip on you. “Give me one night,” he proposed. “One night to show you it’s always meant to be this way, us,” he elaborated.
You dropped your gaze, blanking out as you contemplated. But he took your silence for an answer, dipping his head down to kiss your neck. You gasped, pulling away from him but instead, he pushed you back against the bed.
Crawling further up the bed to get away from him, you didn’t miss the way he looked at you like you were some prey he was getting ready to devour. He chuckled as he forced himself between your thighs, his hands slipping underneath your skirt and hooking around your panties.
It felt like such an out-of-body experience, your legs moving as he slid them off them, your thighs pressed against his shoulders as he laid before your cunt.
“We’d be so good together, sweetheart,” he said, hands kneading the soft flesh of your wonderfully thick thighs. “And I can make you feel just as good,” he said before he dipped his head down and licked a long stripe against your folds.
Your back arched at the feeling. You scratched your nails along his buzzed hair, a moan erupting from you as his tongue flicked around your sensitive bud. The feeling of his chuckle against you made you shudder and you felt embarrassed that he was finding your reaction amusing. 
“Just relax, don’t think too much about it,” he stared up at you before he licked another long stripe. 
You whined, squeezing your thighs around his head in hopes of getting him to stop but it was fruitless. He continued to pleasure you with his mouth, his focus on your clit as he wrapped his lips around it, sucking until you were a moaning mess beneath him.
Your imagination only took you so far when you thought about this. What it would be like when it would happen if it would ever happen–which you already decided it wouldn’t. But you were wrong about it all. It felt amazing, it was happening on his birthday, and it would happen.
But was it right? Did you want this? Your body was telling you yes but your brain was saying no. Rafe wasn’t the man you wanted to end up with, the man you wanted to have children with. But it seems like he made those choices for you and he was proving so with his tongue.
Staring up at the ceiling, you allowed your hands to rest at your sides, your chest heaving with each breath as you felt the pressure between your legs build. As your mind begged for release, it pushed all your confusing thoughts aside, allowing you to fall over the edge.
You gasped, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you came down from your high. 
Rafe licked up your wetness before kissing around your sensitive skin, nipping at your thigh. He pushed the skirt of your dress up, exposing more of your flesh, granting him the desire to kiss every inch as he made his way up your body.
Trying to process what had happened, you felt him unbutton the one button that held your cardigan in place. It took all your strength to swat his hand away.
“Rafe,” you tried to push him away but he didn’t budge. 
“What is it? What’s so wrong about this?” He asked, stopping his movements and holding himself up above you. “Are you going to tell me you never thought about us?” He dipped his head down, whispering against your ear. “Is it me?” He pulled his shirt over his head, a smile appearing on his face. “Because I see the way you look at me and I don’t think it’s me,” he smirked, grabbing your hand and placing it on his chest. 
The way you rubbed your thighs together and trailed your hand down his abs told him what you were thinking. Of course, you found him attractive, he was a Cameron and the Kook Prince, and he was athletic, muscular, and tall. 
What wasn’t there to like?
“It’s definitely not me,” he chuckled. 
“I can’t,” you forced yourself to say.
“Why not?” 
You didn’t answer so he kissed you. 
“You know how you said you want to repay me for this pretty dress?” He said in between kisses. 
Your breath hitched in response, knowing when you said that. 
“Get on your knees,” he ordered.
You glanced up at him before he urged you to slide off the bed to kneel in front of him. You knew it’d just be one night, he did say that after all, so you figured you’d get this one night over.
He stood in front of you, ridding himself of his clothes. He was naked in front of you and you felt your face heat up at the sight of his aching cock.
“Open,” he directed.
You bit on your lip, hesitantly holding your hands against your chest before you did as you were told and he rested the tip on your tongue, you instinctively wrapped your lips around him, one of your hands reaching up to wrap around the base of his dick.
Glancing up at him, you decided to move, the feel of his length pushing past your lips was interesting. It was strange that he was your best friend but at the same time, you pressed your thighs together for some friction.
You tried to take things slow but he wasn’t patient, instead, he pressed a hand to the back of your head, forcing the rest of himself down your throat. You gagged, feeling his balls press against your chin and he chuckled above you.
“You’re so adorable,” he smirked as he pulled back slightly before he pushed himself in again.
You reacted the same way, this time tears formed in your eyes. Your saliva pooled out of your mouth and you tried to swallow which earned a moan from him. His hands gripped your head, holding you in place as he began to fuck your mouth, the sound of your gagging filling the room mixed with his groans shouldn’t be making you wet but it was.
Pressing your hands against his thighs, you tried to push away, hoping to breathe through your mouth but he kept you there.
“Just relax,” he encouraged, moaning when you swallowed again, pressing your tongue against him. “You’re doing so good,” he groaned.
Digging your nails into his skin, he hissed and with one more thrust, you felt as he came down your throat, your face scrunching as you attempted to swallow it. He finally pulled away, leaving you to gasp for air followed by a fit of coughs. Your hands were pressed against your chest as you heaved.
He grabbed your face with his hand, pressing his lips against yours. The force of his hand on your jaw urged you to stand, his other hand framing the other side of your face as he deepened the kiss. You placed your hands on his arms, feeling weak and he was your only support.
His tongue slipped past your lips and he groaned at your taste. You felt lightheaded but thankfully he sat back on the bed, pulling you into his lap. He moved away from your lips, allowing you to glance up at the ceiling, your hands on his broad shoulders as you caught your breath.
Your eyes closed when he sucked on the skin behind your ear, one of your hands running up the back of his neck, your fingers curling over the soft buzz of his hair.
He undid the button of your cardigan, slipping it off your body and throwing it on the floor somewhere. Then he reached to the side where the zipper sat and undid it as well. He slid the spaghetti straps down your shoulders, pushing the fabric down to release your breasts.
The cold air hit your nipples, causing them to harden. He moaned at the sight, his hands cupping each in one, squeezing them, and rolling your hardened buds between his fingers.
You arched your back, pressing your chest further into his touch. You felt him lean down, wrapping his lips around your nipple, sucking gently. You felt hot to the touch, your nails running along his body wherever you wanted. 
Shifting in his lap, you felt him poke at you, his tip brushing with your clit and you shivered.
He switched to the other, doing the same and earning another trail of moans from you. He let it go with a pop, kissing back up your neck and along your jaw. “See how good we are together? Most friends aren’t even compatible, but we are,” he breathed against you. 
You stayed quiet but at this point, he wasn’t looking for an answer, this is how it was always supposed to go.
He guided the dress over your head, throwing it somewhere in the room before he moved you to lay on the bed, your head resting against the pillows. You allowed him to pry your legs open, your hands at your sides as you watched him settle between your thighs.
Realizing he didn’t have a condom on, you opened your mouth. “I’m not on birth control,” you stopped him.
“It’s okay,” he reassured. “We’ll worry about that tomorrow,” he grinned.
You hesitantly let go before you rested back on the bed, nodding slightly.
He lined himself up at your entrance, his hands on your thighs as he pushed your knees to your chest. Slowly, he pressed himself into you and you scratched down his forearms at the feeling. 
“Shh, relax,” he encouraged. 
You took a deep breath in, it’d been so long since you had sex, the familiar pressure building between your legs as he pushed further in. Soon, his hips were pressed against yours and you felt his balls resting against you. It was a new feeling, being connected to somebody completely bare–raw. 
It was odd. But that didn’t stop you from clenching around him to urge him to move.
“See how perfect we fit?” He asked, reeling his hips back before he snapped forward, your nails digging into his skin as the pleasure flourished around you.
You whined, tracing your hand around his neck, pulling him down so his forehead was resting against yours. 
“You’re so fucking sexy,” he inhaled, continuing to fuck you. It was pure bliss, your thighs resting on his hips, spreading wider with each thrust, just like he always wanted. The noise of your wetness was heard in the room, the feel of your walls pulling him back in. It was so pleasurable, that he dropped his head down, running his nose along your neck. “Always been, always will,” he smiled. 
“Rafe,” you moaned, locking your legs together around his waist, your hands running down his back, your hips beginning to match each of his thrusts.
He loved hearing his name fall from your lips. “Do you see now?” He rested his forearms on either side of your head, framing your beautiful face. 
You gulped, hands resting on the curve of his back, your eyelids heavy as he fucked you deeply. 
He chuckled, knowing you were too dazed to answer. “All the times I’ve called you pretty, hot, they all went over your head, didn’t they?” He tipped his head to the side, a hiss escaping him when you squeezed around him. “Even now as I’m fucking you and your creaming around my cock, it still hasn’t stuck, has it?” His eyes shone brightly under his bedroom light, so blue they had you entranced.
That’s all you focused on as you came again, throwing your head back, your toes curling and, your nails leaving scratch marks on his back. 
Your orgasm fueled his, his body stilling against you as he came, releasing into your slick walls. You knew you’d have to worry about it tomorrow, part of you was scared for what was to come, but your body was so relaxed in the pleasure it experienced.
“This is how it was always meant to be,” he whispered, slowly pulling out of you and watching his release slip out of your cunt. “And I’m gonna fuck you until you understand,” he said and you were half-asleep that you didn’t even feel as he pushed it back in. “Thanks for the best birthday”.
~
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cntloup · 2 months
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Fem!Reader angst, hurt/comfort, body image issues due to pregnancy
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He walks into your shared bedroom after he finds the living room empty and the lights off, “Love, you in here?” he asks, noticing you’re not asleep either as he previously thought.
He makes his way to the bathroom when his eyes land on the line of light at the foot of the door.
His eyebrows furrow in concern when he hears your hiccups and sniffles from the other side of the door, “You ok, lovie?” he asks worriedly, “Yeah! I’m fine!” you try to sound convincing but to no avail as your voice comes out weak and shaky.
“Can I open the door?” he asks and you wrestle with the thought of letting him come in or not. Do you want him to see you like this? “Yeah.” your mouth answers before your mind does.
You immediately regret it, but it’s too late now as the door opens and your husband sets his eyes on you, your body completely bare and trying to hide yourself, the parts that you hate, with your hands as best as you can.
“What’s wrong?” he asks with concern, walking up to you. You look like a deer caught in the headlights. In an instant, you hide behind the curtain.
“N-nothing’s wrong. I'll be out in a few minutes.” you try to get him to leave but he persists, “You know you can tell me anything, love. Please tell me what’s wrong. I'm worried about you.” he says from the other side of the curtain.
Within seconds, you burst into tears, not being able to control yourself anymore. “I-I fucking hate it. My body has changed so much. Nothing fits any more. I hate the way I look!” you finally blurt out to him through sobs and he can’t believe the words that reach his ears.
All this time, you were a goddess in his eyes. How could you not see it? How could you not feel beautiful? Didn't he show you enough how he felt?
But this is not your fault. Your body has gone through drastic changes due to your pregnancy. And it has taken a heavy toll on you, not only physically but mentally as well.
“Love, you’re beautiful, mesmerizing. You're a goddess. Please don't let these awful thoughts get into you.” he responds softly.
“Can I see you now please?” he questions, eager to see his beautiful wife after a long day, but more eager to get you to believe him.
“Y-yeah.” you reply weakly, hesitant. He slowly pushes the curtain away and steps in front of you. His eyes land on your naked form and he can see nothing but sheer beauty.
“Do you really mean it?” you ask shyly, still trying to hide. “ ‘course I mean it, love. You're drop-dead gorgeous.” he reassures you, “But I've changed so much!” you retort, on the verge of tears.
“Dove, you’ve been carrying our child for nine months. Of course that would cause some changes. But that doesn’t mean you’re any less beautiful now than you were before. You're so fuckin’ beautiful, love.” he responds, getting closer to you.
“How can I fight these thoughts away?” he murmurs only inches away from your face, feeling helpless, desperate to make you feel better.
Your heart swells with love as you look at your loving husband and a soft smile forms on your lips as you begin to feel secure.
You slowly remove your hands from your body, making his breath hitch in his throat, his eyes sparkling with love.
You take his hands in yours to pull him closer and he leans in to plant a loving kiss on your lips.
His hands find their way to your body, tenderly caressing the plush of your hips, slowly moving to your belly which is where you’re the most insecure about, making you gasp against his lips.
"It’s ok, love... It's just me." he reassures you in between kisses, his touch lingering, "I love you." he whispers into the kiss.
His sweet and tender touch, his loving words and his soft voice make you feel fuzzy. You feel safe in his arms.
His lips travel down to your neck and slowly lower and lower, kissing all the areas that you feel uncomfortable with. And you close your eyes, lost in a haze, savoring the feeling as he dotes on you.
He peppers soft kisses on your tummy, making you giggle. His heart flutters at the sound, happy that he managed to make you feel even a little better.
He wraps his arms around your waist, his head resting on your belly, “Better, love?” he asks, loving eyes looking up at you. “Yeah. Thanks, Si!... I love you too.” you reply with a warm smile, nuzzling his cheeks and buzzed head.
“Wanna take a shower?” you ask him, smirking. “I’d love to.” he responds, grinning widely.
comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated ♥ 
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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SHADOWBRINGERS.... listening to the song again n oh god i love the lyrics so so much we r ignoring the fact that i have to wake up in like less than 4 hours
#🌙.vent#i just have 1 assignment due tmrrw n i don't want to do it :') like yeah i'm definitely still going to but. it's a letter to ourselves....#i write a lot to myself that is very much evident but it's so hard to actually organize it. & fuck too bcs it's due 10 pm later today#i hate doing things for the sake of academics. says me w my grades lmfao but despite how well i manage i really do hate the school system#i wanted to ramble abt ffxiv oh no i get so distracted when i start writing. but. god my mind rn i don't understand#🥹 this stupid mental block ???? w the break nearly ending there's sm more i have to do but i need to sleep . but not having this started is#messing me up sm rn. i want to put a lot of effort into it but i'm at a loss for words. i wrote some ideas days back but i've changed a bit#this moment ideally right now where i'm in a better mood than i have been for the past few days but not as brain empty#a balance of fiction and reality. enough to keep me not sad but enough to keep me stressed?#i would like to get it started now. i know i want to. but i can't. i just can't seem to. it's not lack of motivation right now. it's.#....maybe a fear? a fear that gives me some sort of mental block. because i really really want to at least start writing something but#i can't start. & goddamn this is not what i meant to write about i wanted to write of shadowbringers & maybe a little of today#but i guess this just has been. bothering me for a while. buried somewhere in my mind#i've been this age for like. more than a week now huh. it's daunting it's scary but i've always loved & sought the thrill of challenges. bu#alright i wasn't able to read anything i wanted to. nor did i watch as much as i would've liked. & i didn't really bond with my friends#save for texts here n then. talking in ffxiv w that one too. & that very one call on bday yh. & tumblr too ofc c: but i didn't do the schoo#stuff i wanted to do this break. but my rank in pjsekai's lowering. nor playing arknights/nier again yet. & fixing my sleep. but....#i didn't wake up any later than 4 pm. i went out for a walk earlier with apollo. i wrote asks to a friend here on tumblr. new books.#new game. plans to make an fc in ffxiv. i ate what i could. i got up even when it hurt. i'm playing gbf again. i'm rlly happy abt that#perhaps it's not enough for me. i can't get rid of my heavy regrets so easily. but acknowledging what i have done that was good enough#trying my best to be kind to myself in this moment even though i feel like crying. acknowledging my pain. maybe. maybe that's#i'm listening to ashes of dreams rn fuck i'm actually going to cry i think bulbel is next in my queue i#it hurts yes n i feel like crying right now but there's. this ache in my chest that replaced the cold emptiness earlier#maybe that's not a good thing uhh but the warmth. that warmth. i'm alive i'm real n there's a tomorrow n that's enough hope#it has to be. it fucking has to be. just. little steps. guide my own self slowly n softly like i do for others. i deserve that too.#i'll give it to myself. surely i must owe myself at least that much. being human comes with its many burdens but i don't need to be#so harsh to myself right? ironic saying that right now while i know there's something so dear to me i'm denying right now#it's like i'm a wilting flower fighting against time to stay alive. but the petals slowly decay n it gets colder the longer the dark night#would an outside light help the blossom find its own light? or would it make it disappear. i wonder#did the flower grow to be meant to be undeserving of such kindness? or are there thorns on its petals that serve as an unbeknownst barrier?
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