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#hey man. that 10 year old report is really fucking hard for me to get my hands on

pocket-deer-boy · 5 months

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i just realized it's been a year and two months since i originally asked for therapy and i'm still not getting therapy. normal country

#its a specialized autism therapy and im going to be honest #im not very hopeful of them #like they require proof of diagnosis first of all #and second they really fucking needed me to hand in a fucking 10 year old diagnosis for some fucking reason #i had to back and forth with these cunts for like 6 months #before i finally told them upfront like #hey man. that 10 year old report is really fucking hard for me to get my hands on #and i'm still not receiving any kind of help with this which makes keeping up with these emails and papers extra difficult #and this 10 year old report is going to be fucking useless because it was written when i was 13 #it's not going to contain information that would be more useful to you than simply asking me directly about my current situation #please. just give me therapy #and then they put me on a wait list of 7 to 9 months suddenly #like wow you really pretended to be super fucking bureaucratic for no fucking reason huh

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study-coffee-chicago · 3 years

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Seasons of Med: Season 2 and Seasons of PD: Season 4: Necessities, Love, & Care (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

Your age: 15

Jay's age: 29

Will's age: 31

You were currently sitting at the library, trying to figure out how you'd get food for dinner. It was January and you had run out of your Christmas money two weeks ago and you had burned through your money from helping with kettle corn at the beginning of December. Right now you were SOL: Shit outta luck.

Your mind wandered back to the last day you had helped working the kettle corn stand when it was a dreary late October day.

"We have kettle corn, caramel corn, cheddar, Chicago style, and a few other flavors," you explained to a customer. She picked up a medium bag of caramel corn. "That one?"

"Yes, dear. Me and my husband love this stuff," the old lady said.

"I'm sure. It's really good! It'll be six dollars." She pulled out a five and two ones. "I'll be right back with your change."

"Oh, no, keep the change, dear. Thank you for the popcorn."

"You're welcome. Have a nice day."

"Y/N," Emma said to you. "Can you grab me a lemonade from the cooler?"

"Just one?"

"Yup, just one."

You grabbed it from the cooler and were about to pass it to her when you saw who her customers were: Jay and Erin.

"Y/N?" Jay asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Working," you answered quickly. "Little bit of extra money never hurt anybody. The real question is, what are you doing here? I know Erin hates being outside when the weather is crappy."

"It's because he's annoying when he whines and begs to do something, so I figured it was just best to give in," Erin answered.

Jay rolled his eyes. "God, I can't win with either of you. Why do you always gang up on me?"

"Because, Halstead, us girls gotta stick together," Erin laughed.

"Okay, okay, fine. Y/N, what popcorn should I get?"

"First of all, it's kettle corn," you corrected. "And, I suggest the cheddar. Or, if you want a combination of both salty and sweet, then get the Chicago style. It's cheddar and caramel."

"Me and Erin like sweet, but I know you. You like cheddar. And you'll pick out the cheddar pieces when you're at my apartment, so I'll get the Chicago style."

"Or," Erin started as she picked up a large bag of caramel and a large bag of cheddar, "We could get this big bag of caramel, and then you could have this bag at your apartment for Y/N. That way the flavors aren't touching."

"Erin Lindsay and not liking her food touching. Fine, we'll take what Erin suggested and one lemonade."

"One or two straw holes?" Emma asked, picking up the lid-punching tool.

"One's fine," Jay answered.

"They swap enough spit as it is," you whispered to Emma, causing her to laugh.

"What'd she say?" Jay asked.

"I can't tell you. It's a secret."

He huffed. "Fine. Keeping secrets from your big brother? That's cold Y/N, that's cold."

"So you're saying you never kept secrets from Will?" Erin asked.

"I have the right to remain silent."

"Exactly," Erin said. "How much does he owe you?"

"Excuse me? I didn't know I'd be the one paying for all of this."

"You were the one who dragged me outside, so yes, you are paying, Halstead. Now, get your card ready."

Jay rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet. "How much?"

You did the math in your head. "$23."

"Emma, can you check her math?" Jay asked and you rolled your eyes in his lack of faith in you.

"$10 for the cheddar and $8 for the caramel makes $18...plus $5 for the lemonade...yup $23."

You handed him the card reader. "And now it's just going to ask you a few questions," you told him after his card went through.

Without allowing him to read it all the way through, Erin hit the tip and no receipt buttons. "Hey!" Jay exclaimed.

"Don't blame me! You were the one who wanted me to come out here!" She turned to you and took the bag of kettle corn as Jay picked up the 32 oz lemonade. "Thanks, Y/N!"

"No problem! Just make sure he doesn't buy any more paintings of motorcycles!"

Man, how you wished you could work that job right now because it was only for a few hours on the weekends. But, it was winter now, so there were no street fairs, farmers markets, or festivals going on. Because of this, your money had run out. You'd have to do what you'd have to get yourself some food, even if it would leave you with a guilty conscience.

With that in mind, you got up and left the library.

***

"Pop's been complaining of chest pain and refuses to go to the hospital," Jay told his older brother as he walked through the front door and into the living room.

"Of course he did," Will grumbled. Then, he turned to his father. "This won't take long. Unless it's bad. Then you'll have to come with me and actually go to the hospital this time."

"You can't force me to do anything," he argued as he watched his oldest son open up his medical bag.

"Just let him do his job. He knows what he's doing," Jay agreed with Will. Then, he remembered something. "Where's Y/N?"

"At school."

"At school? At 5 pm?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sometimes she stays after school and does homework. She's always home before it gets too late so I don't ask."

It's not like Jay and Will could have known this, though. Yes, you would talk and they're obviously there for you because they're your brothers, but your dad's parenting skills--or lack thereof--hadn't ever come up. You'd get together with your brothers once a week, but it was usually at one of your brothers' places. They rarely came inside your and your dad's place.

"All units, we have reports of a robbery at 3020 East Main Street. Assistance requested," Jay's radio stated.

Jay looked to Will, silently asking if it was okay for him to take it. "I've got it from here."

"Thanks, man," Jay said, clapping Will on the back and leaving the house.

He drove to the small corner market that had made the call. It was only a block away from where you and your dad lived, but despite it usually being somewhat slow, today it was even slower. There was only one car parked in the lot, so Jay was confused as to who would even rob this place.

He put on his vest and walked into the store. "Got a call about a robbery," he said to the store manager as he entered.

"Yes, right over here."

He led Jay over to where a girl was sitting on a stool, tears rolling down her face. She held a box of pasta, a loaf of bread, and a small jar of peanut butter. Her coat was unzipped, revealing the tampons and pads she had stuffed inside her coat after she had ripped open the box.

"Y/N?" Jay asked in disbelief. "What are you doing? What were you even thinking?"

"I- I'm sorry," you sniffled.

Then he turned to the store manager. "You called the cops on a fifteen-year-old girl for grabbing what looks to me like necessities?"

"I've let her go the past two times when she needed things, but today she didn't have the money, so I couldn't let it slide."

Jay threw $30 in the man's hand. "There. Now it's all paid for." He turned to you and took the loaf of bread. "C'mon."

You followed him out of the store, waiting to be yelled at as you entered his truck, but it didn't come. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he handed you the bread. "Why? Why did you do this?"

"There- There's barely any food in the house. I was just hungry."

Jay looked you up and down. He hadn't been really looking for changes in weight like he told Natalie he would do six months ago. He kept it up for a few months and then winter came around and it was hard to tell because of bulky jackets and sweaters. But, now that he actually looked at your face and hands in an investigative manner, it was clear as day: You had lost even more weight.

"And the other stuff?" he asked.

"Dad won't buy them for me. Says that they're too expensive and to just use something else. He said that if he had had a son he wouldn't have to worry about it, like it's my fault. Usually, I take some from school, but I ran out and I needed them."

"And the food?" Jay asked as he started driving back to his childhood home.

"I get breakfast and lunch at school, but I have to eat dinner at home. And on weekends I just skip meals and eat breakfast and dinner."

"What? What about Dad?"

"He gets takeout or he goes to the bar and isn't home until late."

Jay sighed as he pulled into the driveway. "Go pack a bag, kid. You're staying at my place until further notice."

"Really? I thought you guys forgot about me?"

"We could never forget about you. It's just, work has been busy for both of us. So, sorry if these last few times we've all been together for dinner have seemed a little rushed. Now, go inside and grab your stuff while I have a chat with Will and Dad."

"Dad, Will," Jay said after you had run upstairs and they were sitting on the couch. "I need to talk to you. In the kitchen."

"Really, Jay. Why can't it be here?" your dad grumbled. "First he--" He pointed to Will. "Wants to take me to the hospital because he said I have a valve issue and now I can't even have a conversation with my sons while sitting down?"

"Just get up, dammit!"

The three entered the kitchen and sat down, but Jay stayed standing. "Jay, what's going on?" Will asked.

Instead of answering his older brother, Jay just opened the fridge. There was a half drank gallon of milk, a jar of grape jelly, and a can of pasta sauce, along with other condiments, and a lone egg sat on a shelf. "This? This is what you expect your daughter to eat? I caught her stealing from a store just so she could get food and tampons!"

"Well, I'm not gonna pay for it."

"Excuse you?" Will exclaimed, eyebrows raised in surprise. "What do you mean you're not paying for it? She's your daughter, isn't she? Then you have a legal responsibility to feed her, make sure she has shelter, clothes, and goes to school!"

"She can go get a job."

"She is fucking fifteen!" Jay yelled. "She doesn't need to be worrying about where her next meal is coming from! She's supposed to be worrying about getting a good grade on a math test or if that boy likes her or not, but not that!"

"She needs to learn to grow up someday. And she won't if you boys baby her like you always do whenever you see her."

"Baby her?" Will yelled, disgusted. "She's a kid. She needs to be babied sometimes. She needs fucking food and a nice home to come home to, not whatever the hell you think this is."

"It hasn't been a home since your mother died."

"Yeah, we gathered that," Jay scoffed. "But you don't have to take it out on her."

"Jay," your small voice said from the doorway into the kitchen. All three men looked over to you, your backpack on your back, a duffle bag slung over your shoulder, and your favorite blanket wadded up in your hands so that you could carry it without it dragging on the ground.

"Ready to go?" Jay asked, his voice immediately softening.

"Uh, yeah," you answered, unsure of how your dad would react.

"What do you mean ready to go?" Pat Halstead asked, standing up from where he had been previously sitting at the table. "She's not going anywhere!"

Will rushed over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder while Jay stalked over to be face to face with your dad. "She is coming with me until further notice. You're lucky I don't arrest your ass for child neglect!"

"You wouldn't do that to your own father!"

Jay pulled the cuffs out of his back pocket. "Oh yeah? Try me."

He sat back down and Jay turned to you. "Here, let me take that." You handed him your duffle bag and followed him and Will outside.

"Jay, I gotta go. I gotta get Dad to Med to get the valve fixed. And, I said one hour out of the hospital tops and it's been two."

Jay closed the truck door once you were safely inside with all your stuff. "Good luck trying to get Dad to go the hospital," he scoffed. "Get going. Don't give Goodwin another reason to fire your stupid ass."

"I'll call an ambulance if I have to." Then, Will smacked Jay upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You know what it was for. And, I'm your older brother, it's my job."

"I'm your older brother, it's my job," Jay mocked. "But, in all seriousness, do me a favor and make sure Y/N's all caught up on her immune- immune--"

"Immunizations?" Will laughed.

"Yeah, those."

"I'll do that. And if she's not, I'll give them to her tonight when I come over to your place after my shift is done...which will be in like two hours...depending on how much of a pain in the ass he is to get in the hospital."

Jay nodded, and then got in the truck, both of you making your way to his place.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," Jay said after you had put your stuff down by the couch. "You have homework?"

"Yeah," you looked down, not wanting to even try and struggle through your homework...or have Jay sign the slip that said that you failed your last test.

Jay smiled. "I'll help you with it when I'm out of the shower, okay, kid?"

"How'd you know--"

"That is the universal facial expression of I need help, but I don't know how to ask for it. I'll be ten minutes tops."

And so, you tried to struggle through your homework for ten minutes. But, you ended up working and reworking the stupid algebra problem. Why did math need letters anyway?

"Okay, I'm back," Jay said as he pulled a chair out to sit next to you. "What are you workin' on?"

"Can you sign this first?" you asked, sliding the yellow paper over to him along with the pen. You hoped he'd just sign it blind, but as you saw his eyes skimming the page, you knew that wouldn't happen.

"Did you try your best?" he asked as he slid the piece of paper back to you after signing it.

"What? Yeah, of course, I did."

"Okay, then we'll figure something out. Now, how about we eat some dinner? I've got pizza in the freezer. That okay?"

"That's great," you answered.

Jay got the pizza in the oven while you went and changed into your pajamas. You decided it was in your best interest to have Will help you with your math homework.

***

"Ah! The man of the hour!" Jay exclaimed as he pulled out the pizza and Will entered the house.

You immediately noticed the red bag he was carrying over his shoulder and the two king-sized Twix bars.

"Why do you have your medical bag?" you asked.

"How did you know this was my medical bag?"

"I'm not stupid, Will."

"Okay, so you're all caught up on your shots, but I need to do a blood draw because I need to see if you're deficient in any vitamins and minerals. Have you been eating enough fruits and veggies?" he asked.

"Probably not as much as I should," you admitted. "They're too expensive unless I get the canned kind and I don't like those unless it's canned peaches. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Short Stack. None of this is your fault. You hear me? None of it. I just need to take the blood and then get it sent to the lab to see if you need to get any specific pills to get your vitamin and mineral levels up."

"Okay. Does it hurt?" you asked. You knew what a shot felt like, but you'd never had your blood drawn before, so you didn't know what it felt like to have a needle in your arm for a long time, taking blood. You knew what it felt like to have an IV in from when you passed out at the movie theater, but you didn't know if this needle would be the same size or bigger.

"You just feel a slight pinch at the beginning."

"Like getting a shot?"

"Like getting a shot," he confirmed.

"Hey, I was thinking," Jay started as he reappeared from the kitchen area, "what if we have celery and carrots with ranch for dinner, too? You know, like when we eat chicken wings at restaurants and they bring you some veggies, except we'll have ours with pizza."

"Okay," you agreed. "I like ranch."

"So does everyone in the midwest," Will joked.

"What's the medical bag for?" Jay asked. "She needs shots? And, what's with the Twix bars?"

"No, I'm drawing her blood to see if she's deficient in anything. And, there's one Twix bar for her and one for you because we all know how you feel about needles, Jay."

Jay rolled his eyes. "We doing this before we eat?"

"Yes. And, I need you to answer some questions for me, Y/N. These are strictly doctor protocol questions, okay? You don't need to be embarrassed about any of the answers."

You nodded.

"Okay," Will started, "When did you last eat? Just need to write it down for fasting glucose levels."

"Um, lunch at school, so around noon."

"So, six-hour fast," Will scribbled down on a piece of paper. "Next one, are you sexually active?"

"Will!"

"It's just standard protocol, just in case I need to test for STDs."

"No, I am not. Next question."

"Okay, last one: When was your last period?"

"You've got to be kidding me. I'm not pregnant, I haven't had sex!"

Will chuckled. "It's not for that. Sometimes when people are deficient in vitamins and minerals, they can lose their period for months at a time, signaling that their body isn't healthy. The medical term is amenorrhea." But, what he wanted to say was that when girls are underweight, this can also happen. And, from seeing how baggy your sweatshirt and jeans were on you, he assumed that you'd lost ten pounds since last going to the doctor when you passed out in the movie theater parking lot, making your weight loss a grand total of 25 pounds, which would qualify you as being underweight.

"Oh. I started today."

"Okay, good to know. Any changes in length or heaviness of menstruation?"

"I swear, I'd rather have Natalie or April be asking me these questions," you grumbled. "But, yes, it's a lot lighter and it went from me having my periods for five days to two days. Can we please stop talking about this now?"

"Yeah, we're all done. Sorry about that, but it's protocol."

"Says the guy who's drawing my blood at Jay's apartment instead of in a hospital, where it should be done."

"Hey, I've worked in much worse conditions than this in Sudan. How much water did you drink today?"

"A lot."

"Okay, good." Will started to unzip his medical bag. He passed a Twix bar to Jay. "Here, eat this and focus on it so you don't focus on the needles and then freak out."

Jay rolled his eyes, but took the candy bar and unwrapped it.

"Do I get one?" you asked.

"Once I draw your blood, yes, the other one is for you. Now, right or left arm?"

You held out your left arm and Will moved to the other side of you so he had a better angle. He sanitized his hands and then snapped on a pair of gloves.

"So, what do you do?" you asked. "I've never had my blood drawn before."

"I just tie off your arm so that I can get the veins to show a bit better, wipe down the spot with an antiseptic wipe, stick the needle in, and then wait for the vial to fill up."

"That's it?"

"That's it. Can you make a fist with your left hand for me?"

You did as Will told you and then he tied a band around your bicep and started touching the inside of your elbow, trying to get some veins to show. He furrowed his eyebrows and moved down your arm, rubbing your forearm and then going back up to the crook of your elbow and gently pressing there.

"What's wrong?" you asked.

"You just have really small veins is all. I could take the blood from the big vein in your forearm, but I don't really want to do that one since it's so big. Can you squeeze your fist tighter for me?" You did as he said while he kept pressing on the crook of your elbow. "There we go. Got one. Now, turn and look at Jay while I get the needle ready."

You looked at Jay and tried not to laugh. "You okay?"

"Me? I should be asking you that," he replied. "You're the one who's about to get stabbed with a needle."

"It's just that you got some sweat on your forehead. You look nervous."

"They're needles. They're tiny little sharp metal objects and if one breaks off--"

"Jay, respectfully," Will started, cutting off his brother, "shut the hell up, so you don't scare my patient. You might just want to look away instead of watching me. Then you might feel fine." Then, he turned back to you. "Okay, Y/N, keep looking at Jay. Close your eyes if you want to. You're going to feel a small pinch."

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Then, you squeezed your eyes shut tightly and grit your teeth, trying not to yell out as the needle pierced your skin.

"Hard part's done," Will said. You nodded, still keeping your eyes closed.

"That was not a small pinch," you retorted about a minute later.

"Sorry."

You opened your eyes and watched as the blood flowed from your vein into the small tube that was hooked up to the needle.

"I thought you hated blood," Jay pointed out. "And here you are, watching the entire process."

"I'm fine when it's my blood if it's not a huge, deep cut," you explained. "It's other people's blood I don't like."

"Well, that takes any job in the medical field off your career choices," Will said.

You sat there for a few more minutes, waiting for the vial to fill up. Will pressed on your arm, close to the needle, to see if more would come out. "This vein is really small," he said.

You watched as the blood coming into the tube started becoming slower and slower, in what looked to be bubbles.

"Just a little more," Will muttered.

You started taking deeper breaths as you felt sweat start to bead on your forehead.

"Okay, let's see how much this gave me." He pressed his thumb above where the needle was and you turned back to Jay as he removed the needle.

Then, he got the blood into the vial. "Bad news," he started, "I might need to take more. Let's see how much extra there is." He put the extra into another, smaller vial. "Yeah, this one clotted too, so bad news, we need more."

You nodded and closed your eyes, feeling your face get hot and starting to feel lightheaded. You pinched the bridge of your nose, willing this uncomfortable feeling to go away.

"You doing okay?" Will asked.

"Yeah," you answered.

"Okay, I'm gonna do your right arm this time." You held your right arm out to him. "Make a fist for me." You did as he told you and he tied the blue band around your bicep.

But, you were getting even dizzier. "Actually, can I get some water? I feel dizzy."

"Course," Will said. "Jay, can you get her some water and juice if you have any?"

"Apple juice good?"

"That's fine," you answered.

Will untied the band from your bicep. "We're just going to wait a few minutes until you feel less dizzy before I take more blood, okay?"

You nodded and took the water from Jay when he came back.

"Let's have the juice after I finish," Will suggested after a few minutes had passed and you finished the water. "Feeling better, Short Stack?"

"Yeah, let's get this over with." Your forehead was still a bit sweaty, but you were a lot less dizzy.

Will repeated the same process as the last arm and it went a lot faster. Turns out he picked a bit bigger vein in the crook of your elbow of this arm than he did the other one.

"And, we're done," Will said as he capped the vial.

He handed you the juice. "Thanks," you said. "That was not fun."

"I bet. At least you didn't pass out. I've had a few patients do that when I went through my clinicals. That's why normally when someone gets their blood drawn, they sit in this chair where something is flipped down in front of them so they don't fall out of the chair just in case they pass out."

"Jay, do you pass out?" you asked.

He scoffed. "No. I don't even get dizzy. My body doesn't react like that."

"He just breaks out into a sweat whenever he sees needles," Will whispered, loud enough for Jay to hear.

"Hey! I heard that! Take one more jab at me and you won't be getting any pizza, Will. I mean it!"

Will held his hands up in a mock surrender while you finished up your juice. Then, Will started to pack up his medical stuff and Jay brought the pizza and veggies and ranch out, along with plates of course.

You ate your pizza while Will helped you with your math homework. Once you finished two slices of pizza and some celery and ranch, you said that you were done.

"You sure?" Jay asked. "You can have as much as you want."

"I'm good. Gotta save some for tomorrow." Your eyes widened as you realized what you had just said. "I'm gonna go take a shower. It's been a long day."

"Okay, clean towels are in the cabinet in the bathroom where they always are," Jay said, trying not to react to what you had just said even though he knew exactly what you were doing.

You were rationing food.

"Fuck," Jay said as he put his head in his hands when he knew you were in the bathroom and out of earshot.

"What? What did she mean by gotta save some for tomorrow?" Will asked.

"She's rationing it. I used to do it in Afghanistan. Save some of my MRE and put it in my pack to eat the next day if I was on a long trek and we knew we wouldn't get back to base. It would be cold and usually disgusting, but I'd choke it down because it was calories and I needed fuel to be sharp in case we came in contact with combatants."

"Poor kid. At least we had Mom."

Jay nodded. "What happened with Dad at the hospital?"

"Had to have a mitral valve replacement because his wasn't working properly. Told him over and over to get his checked regularly, but he didn't because he's stubborn. He went for the non-surgical option first, but then there were complications, so Rhodes performed surgery. He's fine."

"That's good... I guess." Jay glanced around and he saw your duffle bag sitting outside the bathroom door. You had grabbed your clothes to bring them into the bathroom and left your open duffle bag by the door.

Jay stood up and started walking towards it.

"What are you doing?" Will hissed.

"I need to see if she's got anything else in there that will help prove neglect. I'm assuming it needs to be proved...I only know criminal court cases, don't know much about family court cases."

"What do you mean family court? You're going to fight Dad to be able to take care of her?"

"Yeah, I'll fight to be her legal guardian. Unless you want to do it. My loan went through for a new apartment, which has two bedrooms, so I figured I might be better suited."

"Go ahead. You'd probably have a better chance anyway because you were around more when I was in New York."

Jay nodded and started to dig around your duffle bag. He chuckled and pulled out your Build-A-Bear. "She still sleeps with Beary," he said as he held up the stuffed bear. "Probably doesn't change his clothes anymore because she's too old for that, but he's in pajamas."

"Remember that military uniform you got for her bear? Mom said she barely took Beary out of that because she missed you so much."

"Yeah, and if she wouldn't have dropped him at the airport, I might not have met Mouse."

The two fell into a comfortable silence as he continued to dig through your bag. He got to a big zip-lock bag full of pieces of fabric that were stained light reds and browns.

"Will, c'mere," Jay said, waving him over. Will squatted down next to Jay. "You know what this is?"

Will sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. I saw a lot of this when I worked in Sudan."

"Well, what is it?"

"So, when girls don't have access or money to buy feminine hygiene products, they'll use scraps of fabric and wash them. Looks to me like she cut up some, um, she cut up some underwear and then used them as make-shift pads. If they aren't taken care of properly, she could end up with an infection. And, if she tried to use them as tampons instead of pads, it could lead to TSS, which stands for Toxic Shock Syndrome."

"We're gonna have to talk to her about this now, aren't we?"

"Unfortunately, yeah. She's not gonna be happy you dug through her stuff, so I'll let you explain why you were going through it. And, if she used them as tampons, I want her to get a pelvic exam, just to make sure she didn't get any infections. Much more likely to get an infection from tampons than pads."

Jay nodded. He hated having the current conversation and knew he was going to hate the next one even more, but he knew he had to do these things if he wanted to petition the court for legal guardianship.

Jay picked up your duffle bag and brought it to the living room and he set the zip-lock bag full of pieces of fabric on top.

"I can't believe we missed this," Will said. "I mean, we're both trained in how to spot abuse and we couldn't even spot it in our little sister."

"There weren't outright signs," Jay said. "No bruising, limping, cuts, burns, nothing like that. And, it's winter, it's easy to hide the weight loss. But, I still agree with you. If we would've spotted it earlier, we could've gotten her out of there."

"I'm pretty sure she's officially underweight now."

Jay ran a hand through his hair and then stood back up. "I'm gonna go put clean sheets on my bed. I'll let Y/N take it tonight so that we can keep talking out here when she goes to sleep."

"Good idea."

A few minutes later, Jay was back on the couch next to Will and you walked out of the bathroom, wearing a baggy t-shirt and some sweatpants that you had to keep pulling up because they were too big on you now, and a pair of fuzzy socks. You were cold all the time now and wanted your hoodie out of your duffle and wanted to put your dirty clothes in there, but when you looked down to the spot where you thought you had put it, it wasn't there.

"Guys?" you asked. "Have you seen my bag?"

You walked over to the kitchen table where your blanket was sitting on the chairs and wrapped that around yourself instead.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you saw your brothers on the couch, your duffle bag in front of them on the floor, and on top, your bag of ripped-up, old underwear that you used as pads when you didn't have any.

"You went through my stuff?" you asked, starting to become angry.

"Y/N," Jay started, "I know you're mad and it was me who went through it and not Will, so don't be mad at him, be mad at me. But, I went through it to see if anything was in there that could help me get you out of dad's house. Permanently."

"You- You want to have custody of me?" you asked.

A small smile appeared on Jay's lips and he nodded. "It wouldn't be considered custody because I'm not your biological parent, it would be considered guardianship, but yes, I want you to stay with me. And, my loan went through for a new apartment, so you'd have your own room and everything."

"Okay."

Jay looked at Will, not wanting to be the one to start this conversation. And, he figured Will would be the best one to start it because he was a doctor.

"Y/N, we need to ask you about these." Will motioned to the zip-lock bag on top of your stuff.

You sat in the loveseat across from them and looked down at your feet.

"It's okay, you're not in trouble," Will continued. "We just want to know how you used them in case you need to get a pelvic exam to check for infections in that area."

Your lip began to tremble as tears started to roll down your cheeks. "I used them as pads," you said quietly. "Dad wouldn't buy me any and I stopped getting them from school because I thought they'd suspect something was wrong if I- if I kept taking them."

"One more question," Will said softly. "I just need to know in case we need to take you in for this. I know you said you used them as pads, but did you ever try and use them as tampons?"

"No. I only used them as pads," you whispered. "I was scared to use them as tampons." You looked up at your brothers, who both had tears in their eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you rushed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner I was just--" You let out a wail and Jay got up and knelt in front of you.

"Hey, hey, none of this is your fault. Do you hear me? Absolutely none of this is on you. It's all on Dad. Every single bit of it. You are not the one to blame."

You launched yourself into his arms, crying out every emotion you had felt these past few months: anger, frustration, fear, sadness, it was all coming out now.

And, Jay just held you and let you cry it out because that was what your guys' mom used to do for him. And, he knew it worked.

Twenty minutes later, your wails were just quiet whimpers and you pushed yourself back up onto the loveseat, where Will had moved to the spot next to you. He wrapped an arm around you and you leaned into him, craving the comfort that had been denied to you for so long.

"You still have that Twix bar?" you asked.

"All that crying made you hungry, didn't it, Short Stack?" Will asked as Jay got up to retrieve the candy bar from the table.

You nodded.

"Thank you," you said when Jay handed you the Twix bar. You unwrapped it and broke it into the two sticks. "You guys want any?" They both shook their heads: they knew you needed to get as many calories in you as possible.

Jay sighed, he might as well get this hard conversation over with you tonight as well. "Y/N, you can eat as much as you want. I won't say anything about you eating too much, okay?"

You looked up from your candy bar. "You won't call me a burden because I'm eating your food? Like Dad did?"

"He said that?" Will asked, giving Jay a look that read when I see him next, I can't be held accountable for my actions.

"Yeah. One time there were some leftovers he had gotten from a bar and I was so hungry and it was the middle of the night, so I took them out and heated them up. The microwave timer must've woken him up because he came out just as I was about to start eating and then he yelled at me for eating his food and called me a burden."

"Well, we don't think that. Neither Will nor me think that," Jay told you. "And you can eat as much as you want."

You yawned as you crumpled up your Twix wrapper.

"Tired?" Will asked.

"Yeah," you mumbled.

"It's been a long day," Jay said. "You can take my bed."

"Jay, it's your apartment, I can't--"

"Y/N, this isn't up for discussion. I already put clean sheets on the bed for you."

"Is- Is there a fan in your room? I can't sleep without white noise."

"There is. You want me and Will to tuck you in?"

"I'm too old for that." You stood up and Will did, too. "Jay, can you hand me Beary? He should be in my duffle."

"Here you go, kid."

You took your bear and held him loosely in your arm. Then, you enveloped Jay in a hug and did the same for Will.

"I love you guys."

"We love you, too," Will said.

"Now get to sleep. You've still got school in the morning. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Dad sometimes wouldn't be home when I woke up for school. He'd be at a friend's house sleeping off a hangover from the night before or just sleeping."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows. "Doesn't he have to work?"

"He does work, but only a few days a week. The other days, he stays out really late and then comes home either drunk or hungover."

"I see," Jay stated. "Well I won't be doing that, I can promise you that."

"I know. You aren't like Dad. Neither of you are." You yawned again. "I'm going to bed, goodnight."

A few minutes later, you were out like a light and Will was still at Jay's apartment.

"So, Abby called me the other day," Will started. "She's looking for you. Says she's in town for a few days and wants to meet up."

"Oh yeah? She say why?" Jay asked, wondering why his ex-wife--who was the result of a blackout drunk wedding in Vegas, a thing that lasted only 24 hours tops--was in Chicago and was looking for him of all people.

"She said you two are still married."

Jay threw his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

***

"Morning," Jay said as he stood at the stove flipping some eggs. "Sleep good?"

"I slept really good. Didn't even hear you wake up."

"Fan did the trick then?"

You nodded and grabbed a mug from the cupboard and went to start pouring yourself a cup of coffee.

"Nuh-uh," Jay chirped, putting his hand on the handle of the coffee pot as well.

"Why not? I drank it at Dad's."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "You drank coffee at Dad's?"

"Yeah, on the weekends sometimes that would be my breakfast because it curbs my appetite and there wasn't a lot to eat."

Jay sighed. "Well, you'll have enough to eat here, I can promise you that. And, coffee stunts your growth."

"Jay," you groaned. "I haven't grown since sixth grade."

"Okay, well, then you don't want to become dependent on it at such an early age, then. Come talk to me when you're a legal adult or in college."

"Fine." You let go of the coffee pot and put the mug back in the cupboard.

"You can have juice though." The toast in the toaster popped up and Jay placed the toast on a plate and then put a slice of cheese on each piece and then an egg on top. He also put a small bowl of strawberries next to it. "I'm gonna go get dressed while you eat. And then, once you're ready, I'll take you to school."

"Okay, thanks, Jay."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

You rolled your eyes at the nickname and then went to the fridge to get the apple juice. When you opened the fridge, you saw a brown paper bag with your name on it. Curiosity got the best of you, so you took it out and looked at the contents while you ate your breakfast.

Inside was a ham and Colby jack cheese sandwich with lettuce, pickles, mustard, and mayonnaise, an apple, a coconut-flavored Greek yogurt, celery with peanut butter, and a chocolate chip granola bar. There were also two dollars at the bottom of the bag paperclipped together with a sticky note stuck to the top.

For chocolate milk. ~Jay was what the note read.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you continued to eat your breakfast. You don't remember the last time you brought a lunch to school; you'd always get your lunch for free at school. When you got the paper from school about the free/reduced lunch because teachers noticed you didn't have much to eat, you waited until your dad was hungover and it was early in the morning, and handed him a pen and he signed the paper blindly. And, that's how you got lunch and breakfast at school without any cost to you or your dad.

"Hey, I can just brush my teeth at the kitchen sink if you want the bathroom--" He cut himself off when he saw the tears in your eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You- You made me lunch?" you asked as you turned to face him.

He smiled. "Of course I did. I know how bad cafeteria food can be. And, if it tastes good, it's usually not very good for you."

"Thank you," you said as you wiped a tear away that had rolled down your cheek.

"Aww, hey, don't cry, don't cry. It's okay. You're safe now. You don't need to worry about where your next meal will come from. And, I'm going to petition a judge for legal guardianship in a few days. I just have to have a few conversations with some lawyers."

"Does this mean you have to move? I don't want to kick you out of your apartment."

Jay dismissed that with a wave. "I already put in a loan application for a new apartment. Two bedrooms. Really nice."

"Can you tell me about it? While I finish eating my strawberries."

Jay nodded and sat down in the chair across from you. "It's a two-bedroom, washer, dryer. But, I know you don't care about those things. There's underground parking. It's got a gym, a whole club level, with like a coffee lounge, and all this other stuff."

"That sounds really nice."

"Yeah, it is a pretty nice building. Coffee lounge would be perfect for you to get your homework done if you don't feel like staying in the apartment."

"I thought you said I couldn't drink coffee?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I meant the caffeine in the coffee. Decaf coffee and lattes and tea lattes, that's a different story. I'm sure they have pastries there, too."

"Never pegged you for a coffee snob," you joked.

"You learn a lot about coffee and about a person when you have to get your entire unit coffee. I'll let you in on a little secret: Ruzek's coffee order is the most complicated."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, go finish getting ready. Don't want you being late for school."

***

"Hey, Er, can you meet me at the diner we usually go to?" Jay asked his girlfriend over the phone after he had dropped you off at school.

"Yeah, no problem. Give me fifteen minutes. We haven't caught a case yet, but we should keep our radios on just in case. Everything okay?"

"It's a long story. I'll explain everything in person, okay?"

"Okay," Erin answered skeptically. "I'll see you in a few."

Fifteen minutes later on the dot, Erin walked into the little diner and spotted Jay sitting in the corner booth.

"Alright, what's going on?" she asked after she had ordered her food and some coffee. "You sounded really stressed on the phone."

Jay sighed. "I'm going to fight for legal guardianship of Y/N."

"What? Why? What happened?" Erin asked as she widened her eyes.

"Our dad, he uh, he hasn't really been the greatest. Not keeping food in the house, calling her a burden when she tries to eat some of his food, not buying her products for you know...girl stuff. She's probably lost like 25 pounds since the end of last school year. And, I know that doesn't sound like a lot with the amount of time that's passed, but she's underweight. Will drew some of her blood last night to see if she's deficient in some vitamins or minerals."

"My God."

"Yeah, so, I know we were going to move into your place together, but I need another bedroom and my loan went through at that place I told you about, so I'm going to put an offer in there. You could always move in with me if you want, but I don't know if it would be a good idea for that to happen right away. I just want to get Y/N healthy again. I'm sorry."

"Jay, I get it. She's family. Do you know how you're going to go about this? Did you talk to Voight about taking any time off to sort this out?"

"Not yet. But, I think I'm going to call Antonio and see if he can help me out with getting a meeting with ASA Stone. I know he works criminal cases, but he's gotta know some stuff about family court cases. So, I figured he might be able to help me with this whole process."

"Good idea. If you need any help, just say the word and I'll be there."

Jay smiled. "Thanks, Er." He didn't want to have the conversation he was about to have, but he knew he had to tell her. "There's uh, there's one more thing I need to tell you."

"Okay, what is it?"

"About eight years ago, I was married."

"Excuse me, what? You were married and you didn't tell me?"

Jay knew this was a bad idea...which was why he hadn't wanted to tell Erin, but now that he wasn't officially divorced for whatever reason, he knew needed to tell her. "Just let me explain."

"Yes, please do," Erin sneered.

"Her name's Abby. She ran Cultural Support during my last tour in Kandahar. About a year after I came home, I saw her at a funeral in Vegas. Was... was a guy in our unit, he had redeployed, and, um, he didn't... Um, I was, like, blacking out most nights, and we were both pretty shook up. And, um, we got married." He chuckled at the thought of his twenty-one-year-old self thinking that marriage was a good idea. "It was, like, a 24-hour thing, it was a total joke, and it is long over."

Erin just stared at him, as he waited to be chewed out by her. "Jay, you married this girl. And you never told me, and you were never gonna tell me," was all she said.

"I know. And, I'm sorry. But, I'm meeting up with her in a few days to sign the documents that I thought I'd signed because she's getting married and we need to make the divorce official...even though, in my mind, it's been official for eight years.

"Er, please don't hate me, but with everything going on, with me trying to get guardianship of Y/N and me finding out that I'm somehow still married--"

"You want us to take a break?" Erin asked, finishing his sentence for him.

Jay nodded. "I'm sorry. I just don't think I can juggle a relationship with all this other stuff. And, it's not fair to you."

Erin swallowed. "Well, just tell me if you need any help with Y/N. I'll always be there for you. Relationship or partnership, I'll always have your six."

"And I'll always have yours."

Erin's phone buzzed on the table and she picked it up. "It's Voight. We caught a case."

Jay laid some bills on the table. "Then let's go."

***

"Got the results of Y/N's bloodwork back," Will told Jay over the phone while he had a quick break for lunch...even though it was four o'clock in the afternoon. But, that's the thing about the medical field: breaks are never regular.

"And? Any deficiencies?" Jay asked, walking into his bedroom as you were at the table doing homework and he didn't want to distract you.

"Yes, two actually. Iron and riboflavin. The low iron explains why her periods have become shorter and lighter, but that can also be attributed to how small she is now."

"How do we go about this then?"

"I'll send you a list of foods that have levels high iron and riboflavin. Oh, riboflavin's found in vitamin B by the way."

"Okay, care to tell me what iron and riboflavin do? I know iron helps with hemoglobin and red blood cells, but I have no idea what riboflavin does."

"You're right about iron. I'm shocked. Or, what do the kids say these days? I'm shook."

"I swear to God, please never use that phrase again. And, I know what iron does because I paid attention in high school nutrition class, thank you very much."

"If I remember correctly, I helped you with most of the homework in that class."

"Whatever, you helped me. Now, tell me about riboflavin."

"So, riboflavin just helps convert food into energy and is needed for healthy skin, hair, blood, and a healthy brain." Jay could hear a beeping in the background on Will's end. "Gotta go. I'll send you that list of foods right now, though."

"Thanks, man."

You looked up as Jay came back into the kitchen. "Everything okay?" you asked.

Jay pulled out a chair and sat across from you. "So, I just got off the phone with Will. He got the results from your bloodwork back."

"Is it bad? Am I dying?" You set your pencil down, bracing yourself for bad news.

"No," Jay chuckled, "you're not dying. You just don't have enough iron and riboflavin, which is a specific B vitamin. Will sent me a list of foods that have high levels of those in them. You up for some grocery shopping? We can also grab some multivitamins that have those in them, too, just to help your levels stabilize faster."

"Okay, we can go now. I'm due for a break."

***

"So, some foods that contain riboflavin include milk, eggs, cheese, yogurt, meats, green leafy vegetables, and riboflavin enriched grains and cereals," Jay read off his phone.

"I've had a lot of those today already," you pointed out. "Eggs and cheese with breakfast. I had that yogurt for a snack at school, and I had meat and cheese on my sandwich and I had chocolate milk with my lunch at school."

That was just standard, Jay thought. He wondered what you ate when you were at your Dad's. And, he knew that if he wanted to obtain guardianship of you, he'd need to know these things.

"What did you eat at Dad's?" Jay probed.

"I mean, I barely made it to school on time most mornings because I was trying to be quiet so I didn't wake Dad, which made me move slower when getting ready. So, I'd usually just grab a small thing of dry cereal when I got to school and eat it in my first class. I never checked to see if it was one of the enriched ones. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. There's no way you could've known. Now, what did you usually have for lunch at school?"

"I always tried to get veggies with my lunch, but most of the veggies were the gross canned ones, like canned corn or green beans. I don't like those. Sometimes, they'd have little salads as a side and I'd get those. Sometimes they'd have yogurt parfaits and I'd get those. But, I'd usually go for the pre-made subs, because at least those would have veggies on them...even if it was just lettuce and pickles. I'd usually try to get an apple or banana as my side, too." You paused. "If I was getting meat and cheese from the sub and milk from my chocolate milk, then how am I deficient in this?"

"It's probably because the meat and cheese schools use is so heavily processed that there are little to no vitamins left in it," Jay answered.

"And you know this how?"

"As you get older, you acquire a lot of knowledge and one of those things is that the more processed a food is, the fewer vitamins and minerals are preserved...and I watch a lot of The Food that Built America on the History channel."

"Oh, okay. What foods are on that show?"

"Usually it's about fast food. One episode I watched last week was about ice cream and popsicles and how they came to be in America. Pretty interesting."

"Can we watch an episode tonight? That show sounds good."

"Of course." He paused in front of the fresh produce. "Take your pick. But, just make sure you get some leafy greens for the riboflavin and some fruit and other green veggies for iron."

You picked up a few things such as more apples, a bag of Clementines, bananas, spinach, carrots, and celery, and then, you shocked your brother as you picked up a bag of kale.

"Kale?" he asked. "Didn't know you liked it."

You shrugged. "I heard it tastes kind of like spinach. And, I saw a recipe on Pinterest for a salad that has kale, lemon juice, and dates. Is it okay if we try that?"

"You know, I think that would be the perfect side for dinner tonight. I'll add lemon juice and dates to the list."

"I didn't grab too many fruits and veggies, right?" you asked, not wanting to waste food or your brother's hard-earned money. "I- I can put some back if you want me to."

"Nope, it's all good. We can always freeze the bananas if they go bad for smoothies or banana bread. And, we can always turn the apples into apple sauce. Spinach and kale freeze well, too and you can't even taste them if we put them in smoothies."

"How do you know this stuff?" you asked.

"I used to watch Mom cook a lot when I was little. And, when I moved out on my own, she gave me a copy of a cookbook she always used. Said the recipes at the beginning of the book were simple enough that I wouldn't burn my apartment down."

You laughed at the thought of your mom scolding Jay if his apartment got ruined from his cooking. "Do you still have it?" you asked. "The cookbook, I mean."

"I do."

"Can we make something out of it tonight?"

"You know, I think that's a great idea." He pursed his lips. "How about Mom's chicken pot pie? I think I have some frozen peas and corn in the freezer and we can use the carrots we just grabbed in it, too."

"That sounds really good. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me." Jay paused. He figured now would be as good a time as any to tell you. "Uh, do you remember the day that we got ice cream and went and played soccer with Ben when you were little? The night that Mom went into the hospital?"

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat at the memory of that day.

"Well, she told me to take care of you. There's no way I would break a promise to Mom."

"She said that?"

"Mhmm."

"It's like she knew something was going to happen."

"Mom was a smart lady. Will had to have gotten it from somewhere and he sure didn't get it from Dad."

You laughed. "Hey, you're smart, too. Just not sciency smart. You're more puzzle smart because you put the pieces together of who committed a crime." Jay laughed at your description of his job. "Oh, is the recipe for Mom's garlic mashed potatoes in that cookbook?"

"It is. Want those as a side along with the salad you mentioned?"

"Yes, please...if it's not a problem."

"They're super simple and quick to make." He scribbled on a piece of notebook paper that he had written down a few groceries on, like the salad ingredients you had mentioned. "Alright, potatoes, a rotisserie chicken, and pastry dough have all been added to the list."

***

"I'll be back later tonight, no later than midnight," Jay told you two days later on Sunday night. "I know it's not ideal because you have school in the morning, but try and get some sleep while I'm gone, okay?"

"I'm used to being home alone at night, Jay." You shrugged. "I'll be fine."

"I know, it's just that not something I want you to get used to. Feel free to eat anything you want, cook anything you want. As long as you don't burn down the house, I don't care what you make. Oh, and remember to take your multivitamin before bed."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm fifteen, not five. Now, get going. Don't want you to be late to meet that lawyer."

"Love you. I'll be back by midnight. Lock the door behind me."

"I will. Love you, too."

With that, Jay left his apartment to go meet with ASA Stone and you locked the door behind him as he told you.

***

"So, Antonio told me you have some custody questions," Peter Stone said once he closed the door of his office.

"That's right," Jay replied as he took a seat in front of Stone's desk and turned his phone completely off and Stone took a seat in his chair behind his desk.

"Didn't know you had a kid, Halstead."

"No, I don't actually," Jay chuckled. "I have a kid sister. Name's Y/N and she's fifteen."

"Okay, and why do you want guardianship then?"

"When me and Will, my older brother, were kids, our dad kinda checked out on parenting us when we hit our mid-teens. But, we had our mom around, so it was okay. I went over there the other day because my dad was having some heart issues and I called Will. When I was there, I got a call of a robbery and it was Y/N. She was stealing food from a corner store because our dad wasn't feeding her," Jay explained.

"I see. So, other than her word and her stealing food, do you have any proof of this?"

"I know I should've called DCFS before letting her stay with me, but I couldn't let her stay there a minute longer, Peter. She's lost like 25 pounds in the past six months and she's deficient in both iron and vitamin B."

"Okay, what we have to do is petition for guardianship in front of a judge. I can help you with the documents and I can even represent you at the hearing if you want."

"Wow, yeah, that'd be great. Thank you."

"Anything else you want to tell me about your dad? Any physical or emotional abuse?"

"Not technically, but there is something else." And then Jay launched into all the information you had told him two days ago.

"Okay. And, you know your dad could theoretically press kidnapping charges against you because you took his kid without his permission?"

"I do. But he was basically starving her. No jury would find me guilty."

"I'm not going to argue with you about that one because I agree with you."

"So, do you think I have a chance of getting guardianship over Y/N?"

"In theory, yes. But, most judges like to keep the child with their biological parents. But, seeing as Y/N's fifteen, she does get some say in who she stays with," Stone explained. "When we have a custody or guardianship battle, we use the child's best interest standard. This means that you must prove that you are capable of providing food, clothing, housing, medical care, and a stable home life for Y/N. There will be one or two home visits before appearing before a judge, just to let you know."

"I'm aware of that. And, I just put an offer in on a new apartment with two bedrooms this morning and they're pretty quick in responding, so I should know in the next few days whether or not I got it."

"That's a good start. And you are financially stable to raise her until she turns eighteen, so three more years?"

"I am."

"Alright, let's start on those documents then. Unless you have any more questions for me?"

"I do actually. I, uh, I just found out that I'm technically still married. Something about me not signing the divorce papers even though I specifically remember signing them? And, before you ask, me and this girl served together, we were both twenty-one, going through rough patches and it was a Vegas wedding eight years ago. Lasted no more than twenty-four hours."

"It's really good that you told me this because any good lawyer would find that out when you file for guardianship. It's possible that she didn't co-sign the divorce papers. If that's the reason, I can help you draw up new divorce papers right now."

"Really? You'd help me with that?"

"Of course. A friend of Antonio's is a friend of mine," Stone said as he started typing on his computer. "So, what you can do is you can file for a no-fault divorce."

"You're gonna have to be specific, Stone. I know a bit of criminal law because I've had to testify in criminal cases, but like I said, I don't know family or civil law," Jay said.

"What a no-fault divorce is, Jay, is that you don't have to prove that either of you did anything wrong to get a divorce. All you have to do is state that your marriage is unsalvageable and continue filing for divorce."

"That's it? What if she doesn't sign it?"

"The divorce papers will be served to, uh...what's this girl's name again?" Stone asked.

"Abby."

"Abby. The divorce papers will be served to Abby and she has twenty days to file her response with the court. If she doesn't, then the court rules it as an uncontested divorce and then you're officially divorced."

"Me and Abby are meeting up to talk about all this tonight. But, can we just fill out paperwork for this no-fault divorce just in case things don't go as planned? I just really need to get guardianship of Y/N. The least amount of problems, the better."

"Of course. And if everything goes well with her tonight, then just give me a call and I'll shred the documents."

"Alright, just tell me where to sign."

***

"Wilson is running through the showers wearing nothing but a Kevlar vest, right?" Jay reminisced on the good parts of his Ranger days with Abby at a bar around 8:30 that night after his meeting with Peter Stone.

"Well, the lieutenant said, all outdoor activities to be conducted in body armor." Jay laughed at Abby's rendition of their lieutenant's voice. "Do you remember, he had his girlfriend's name tattooed on his ass?"

Jay set his empty drink down on the bar. "Did he tell you that was his girlfriend? That was his dog's name," Jay laughed.

"That actually makes more sense," Abby said. "I could go for another one of these."

"I, um, I shouldn't."

"Gotta get back to the barracks?"

"No, I uh gotta get back to my little sister, actually. I'm looking after her at the moment. It's a long story. Do you have the papers?"

"I, uh, I don't have them."

"Abby."

"It's just, I never told you. Even that crazy day we got married, I never told you that I loved you, Jay. It didn't feel right. But, I loved you, Jay. I do love you."

Jay sighed. "Abby, you deserve everything good. I'm just not the guy that's gonna give that to you." He brushed her hair to the side and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

After putting some money on the bar to pay for the drinks and tip the bartender, he left the bar. Guess he was going to need these no-fault divorce documents, anyway.

He was almost to his car when he heard someone calling his name. And, it was a voice he knew all too well.

"Erin?" he shouted as she came closer. "What are you doing here?"

"Would it kill you to turn on your phone? You need to get to the district. Now."

"What? Why? What's wrong?"

She got in his passenger seat. "Just drive. I'll explain on the way."

***

You were sitting on Jay's bed reading a book when you heard a knock on the door.

Slowly, you got off his bed and made your way out of his room. You took a knife out of the knife block, but you hoped you wouldn't need to use it. Jay would've told you if someone was planning on stopping over. And, if it was Will, he would've given you a heads-up.

The knocking got louder and more aggressive. "Jayson! Open this door! I have the right to see my daughter!"

Dad.

With the knife still in hand, you backed up and then, once on the carpet, ran back into Jay's room and quietly shut the door and locked it. You pulled out your phone and tried Jay. It went straight to voicemail. The pounding was getting louder. You tried Will. It went straight to voicemail because he was on shift. You thought you heard your dad starting to kick the door now instead of just pounding on it with his fists. You tried the last person you thought could help.

"Y/N?" Erin asked as she answered her phone and paused the tv show she was watching.

"Erin," you whispered. "I'm scared. I need help."

"You need help? Can you tell me why?"

"My dad, he's- he's here. He's looking for me." You heard a crash.

"Jay? Y/N? I know one of you is in here!"

"I- I think he just broke down the apartment door. Please help."

"Okay, okay, here's what you're going to do. I want you to hide somewhere and I'm going to call a patrol car over there right now. You're going to turn your phone on silent and I'm going to call you right back," she told you.

"Okay," you whispered as quietly as you could.

"I'll call you back in one minute tops."

You moved as quietly as you could with the knife and your phone still in your hands and opened Jay's closet door. You buried yourself behind the two garment bags that contained Jay's police blues and his military dress uniform, hoping against hope that your dad wouldn't find you.

Your phone lit up and it was Erin. You answered.

"Y/N, the officers will be there soon. I don't want you to talk. Just know that I'm on the phone with you."

At the same time, as she was talking to you over speakerphone, she was texting the team. She assumed you couldn't reach Jay or Will since you had called her. She told them what was happening and that a few of them needed to get to the district because they needed to find Jay's location. She also told Voight to get ahold of Sharon Goodwin so she could notify Will of what was currently happening.

"Chicago PD! Put your hands where we can see them!" you heard from your hiding place.

"See?" Erin said. "I told you that you'd be okay. I told them that you were hiding, so if someone opens the door, it's just an officer."

Just after she said that the closet door opened.

You squeaked.

"It's okay. You're safe," the officer said. "We're just going to take you down to the district. You're safe."

You peeked out from your hiding place and you saw the blues of the officers. You slowly made your way out and followed the officer out to the patrol car, the one that didn't house your dad for a breaking and entering charge at the moment.

***

"Where is she?" Jay yelled as he entered the district.

Platt just pointed to the bench next to one of the offices where you were sitting, staring at the floor, with a police jacket draped over your shoulders.

He sunk to his knees in front of you. "Are you hurt? Did Dad hurt you? Did he put his hands on you in any way?"

You shook your head.

"Oh thank God."

"I was so scared," you whispered. "When you and Will didn't answer, I thought he was gonna get me."

"I'm sorry. I turned off my phone when I talked to ASA Stone, and I forgot to turn it back on. I'm so sorry. C'mere."

You all but fell off the bench and into Jay's arms. "Is he going to jail? I don't want him going to jail."

"He was drunk out of his mind. I can ask not to press charges, though."

"Please. He needs help."

Although Jay didn't say it, he knew you were right. Jails and prisons didn't rehabilitate, they just taught criminals how to be better criminals. He knew that his dad needed rehab, a twelve-step program, anything.

"Okay, I won't press charges. But, I think we're gonna need to stay with Will for the night because our door's broken. What do you say we run home and grab some clothes to bring to Will's? And, since Dad will be here for a little longer, we can run to his house and get more of your stuff. Sound like a plan?"

"Can we get Dairy Queen on the way to Will's?"

"We sure can."

***

"I- I don't think any of these dresses will fit me anymore. They look way too big," you said to Jay as the two of you unpacked a bunch of your stuff in the guest room of Jay's new apartment. You wanted to think of it as the guest room for now instead of calling it your room just in case Jay wasn't awarded guardianship. You didn't want to get too attached.

Jay sighed. He figured you were right. He would see if Erin could take you, but their relationship was on the backburner right now. And, Erin had some stuff with Bunny she had to work out after she had brought her that pearl bracelet and said that she might be leaving Chicago. So, now wasn't really the right time for him to be bugging Erin about going shopping with you. And, he couldn't ask Kim because she was taking some furlough after finding her sister brutally sodomized after a night out.

He thought about asking Will if Nina could come, but he didn't think that those two were too happy with each other at the moment since Will hadn't told Nina about their dad being in the hospital and she had to find out from Natalie. Not Will's greatest moment.

He racked his brain for more women he knew.

Then it hit him: Gabby.

Yes, they had briefly dated, but that was five years ago. She was married now and his feelings for her were completely gone. They were civil with each other when they saw each other in the field and would chat when Gabby showed up at the district to pick up Eva or Diego.

"How about you try a few on after we finish unpacking, and then if none of them really fit, I can give Gabby a call and see if she'll take you shopping while I work on unpacking the rest of the house," Jay suggested.

"Okay. Will's gonna be over after his shift to help though, right?" you asked.

"He better be. He said he would. If he doesn't come, he better have a really good excuse."

"You can't unpack the kitchen without me," you told him.

"Why not?"

"I can't have you putting the glasses and other stuff on high shelves because I wanna reach them without having to climb on the counter."

"Okay, fine. I'll keep your short little height in mind while I unpack." He paused. "Do you want to get those fancy word stickers for your room for one of the walls?"

"Decals? And, it's not my room yet."

"Listen, after that stunt Dad pulled at my old apartment, Stone is 99.9% positive that I'll be granted guardianship. We just have to jump through all the hoops first."

"Like the home checks?"

"Like the home checks," he confirmed.

"What do I say in court?" you asked a few minutes later as you were putting the pillows on your freshly made bed.

"You just tell the truth," he answered.

"Will you be in there with me?"

"No, I won't. Stone said that usually in these cases you talk to the judge by yourself so that you can't be intimidated by either of the people who are fighting for custody or guardianship."

"So you won't be there? Will won't be there?"

"Will will be out in the hall and I will be in a different room. I'll be in like a witness room, where they make witnesses of a crime wait so that their testimony isn't swayed by what the other people are saying on the stand. But, me and Dad will be in the courtroom at the same time, just so I can see what he'll be saying."

"And, I'll be in there then, too?"

"Yes."

"What kind of questions do they ask me?"

"Stone said that since you're older, you get a say in who you stay with, so they'll ask you questions like who've you known the longest, who you feel safest with, who you want to live with, etc."

"Will they ask me questions about Dad? Like how he didn't give me food and how he broke into your apartment?" you asked.

"They will," Jay confirmed. "But, Stone will be in there for those questions just in case he needs to object to something."

"So the only time I'll be alone with the judge is when they're asking me the first few questions? Like who I feel safest with?"

"Exactly. Now, do you need help putting these books on the top shelf of your bookshelf?"

***

"Hey, how was your day?" Jay asked as he came home from work that afternoon. It was a shock that he was home by 5 pm, but you had a big day tomorrow. Not only was tomorrow Friday, it was the day you and Jay had to go to court to see if he would be awarded guardianship of you.

"We've got a problem," you stated.

"Um, I can try to help you with it, but let me go put my gun away first."

While he was doing that, you pulled out the slip of paper and the note that Gretchen Cunningham had written, saying that she wouldn't allow you to make up the test you would be missing because you had to go to court.

"Alright, what's the problem?" Jay asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Cunningham. She's the problem...as always."

You handed him the papers and he read them over. "Yeah, this isn't going to fly. She doesn't need a judge's signature to allow you to take the test. I'll talk to the school tomorrow morning when I call to tell them you'll be absent."

"I hate her," you groaned. "She's so mean. And, I know what you're gonna say. You have to deal with people you don't like. But, she lost one of my assignments and told me I didn't turn it in and couldn't re-do it!"

"Well did you?" Jay asked. "Turn it in, I mean."

"Jay!"

He put his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I'm just saying, could be your fault."

"Yes, I turned in the stupid assignment. And, she paired me up with the stupidest kid in the class and told me to do well on this assignment because he needed a good grade to pass. It's not my fault he's failing! Don't put his grade on me, lady!"

"And she wouldn't let you re-do it?"

"Nope. But it's fine. I'm still getting an A. That might change if she doesn't let me take this test, though."

"It's like deja-vu from my freshman year all over again. Why doesn't she retire already? She's like 100."

"Or they could fire her," you quipped. "Or I could switch classes."

"I'll see what I can do. Who's the other history teacher?"

"Um, Miss Hedge."

"Hedge? As in Jayne Hedge?"

"Yeah, it's actually her. Why? Do you know her?"

"Yes he does," Will said as he entered Jay's apartment. "In fact, they went to freshman snowcoming together."

"How did you even get in here?" Jay asked, turning around to look at his older brother.

"For a cop, you're not that smart. You didn't lock the door behind you."

"I don't lock my door when I'm still awake. And, seriously? You just had to tell Y/N that, didn't you?"

"You guys can't just leave me hanging now. Tell me the story!"

"Fine," Jay grumbled and Will just laughed and sat down at the table, too. "I met her at school, obviously. She was on the freshman basketball team and I had winter weight training for the soccer team. I thought she was pretty and she was really smart, too. And, I knew that a bunch of the girls went to get Taco Bell after practice, so me and some of my friends decided to go, too."

"There used to be a Taco Bell close to school?" you asked. If there was, you'd never seen it before.

"It got torn down just after I graduated," Jay answered. "Anyway, we went to Taco Bell and I started talking to her and we talked a lot after practice. I'd walk her home sometimes. Then, I asked her to snowcoming and she said yes."

"So, why'd you guys break up? I know you dated Allie in high school."

"We realized we were better off as friends." Jay shrugged.

"And he realized he liked Allie more," Will added.

"Yeah, that too."

Will set a big bag of takeout on the table.

"Seriously?" Jay asked. "I thought we weren't going to do this that much anymore so we can get Y/N's vitamin and mineral levels stabilized."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate the break from your mundane meals," Will said. "And, I got us all side salads to go with the burgers instead of fries, so calm down." Jay gave him a look. "Fine, I got the side salads along with the fries. But, they're made out of potatoes, so they're technically a vegetable."

"For a doctor, you don't know much about nutrition, do you? And, my meals are not mundane."

"Dude, you'd have chicken, spaghetti, or grilled cheese every night."

"Not every night, just a lot of nights when I'd get home from the district late. I'll have you know me and Y/N have been making really good diners lately. Wanna tell Will what we made last night for dinner, Short Stack?"

"We made this really good pasta. We used Orzo, which looks like rice, but it's pasta. And we made a sauce out of tomatoes, onions, and orange juice. It was supposed to be lemon juice, but Jay didn't have any. We put chicken sausage in it for protein...and spices of course," you told Will.

"That actually sounds really good. Wow, Jay cooking every night, not something I expected."

"I like it," you said. "And, he lets me play whatever music I want when we cook."

Will rolled his eyes. You had Jay so wrapped around your finger that he'd do almost anything for you. Will didn't think he himself was that bad, but deep down, he knew he'd do anything for you, too...despite not being in Chicago as long as Jay had been.

***

"So I got a call from Stone this morning," Jay said around 11:30 that night when he and Will were sitting on the couch, each nursing a beer.

Will set his beer down on the coffee table in front of him. "And?"

"And, as of yesterday at midnight, I am officially divorced from Abby. Turns out, they served her the papers and, since she didn't sign them and it had been twenty days, it turned into an uncontested, no-fault divorce."

"Congrats, man. Might've been eight years too late, but you're a free man now."

"Amen to that. And it came at just the right time."

"Yeah," Will agreed. "You nervous for tomorrow?"

"Not really. More nervous for Y/N than anything. I've testified in criminal cases, so I kinda know how this goes, but she hasn't. And, before me and Dad go in to plead our cases, she has to talk to the judge all by herself. I just wish one of us could be in there with her."

Will nodded. "Know what they're going to ask you?"

"I know what Stone's going to ask me because we prepped, but I have no idea what Dad's lawyer is going to ask me. Pretty sure he's got just a public defender, though. Hopefully, that works in my favor."

"Not always, man," Will disagreed. "The public defenders who do these cases only do these cases. They've had a lot of practice."

"You really know how to make me feel better, thanks," Jay replied sarcastically.

"Rather have you hear it from me before the case than someone else after. Are you going to get cross-examined?"

"Probably. Don't know what they're going to ask me though because it's a cross. Stone set up some sample questions for me to answer with him to practice, but I'm going in blind. I'm used to it though because I've testified before. But, this feels like my biggest case."

"Because it probably is."

"Are you talking about tomorrow?" you asked as you quietly padded across the floor towards the living room.

"Y/N? What are you doing up? It's almost midnight," Jay pointed out.

"I- I know. But I couldn't sleep. I'm scared. What if I have to go back to Dad's? What if they find neither of you fit and I have to go into foster care?"

Jay patted the empty spot on the couch next to him and you sat down. "We just have to trust the system. That's all we can do."

"I know, but I can't sleep. And I'm so tired."

"I have an idea," Jay started and stood up, "stay here."

"I'm gonna go look for some melatonin," Will said after a few minutes of you two just sitting in silence. "I think Jay still has some for nights that he can't sleep."

Will was still rummaging around Jay's cabinets when Jay came back with a big black box with some cords and a cardboard box balanced against his hip.

"The hell is that?" You quickly covered your mouth when you realized you had sworn. "Sorry."

"It's okay. And, to answer your question, this is VCR. And, I have a bunch of videotapes in this box." He turned from you to face the kitchen, where Will was still opening and closing cabinets. "Will? What are you doing?"

"Looking for melatonin for Y/N. You got any?"

"First of all, it's so late that if you give it to her now, she'll sleep through her alarm and we can't be late for court tomorrow. And, second of all, I keep it in the medicine cabinet in my bathroom."

Will closed the cabinet and made his way back to the couch to sit next to you as Jay started to hook up the VCR to the tv. "Uh, Jay," Will began, "you know it's a little late for a movie right? And, I should get going in like half an hour?"

"We're not watching a movie. I recorded a bunch of the Blackhawks playoff games on one of these and I thought Y/N'd like to watch the 2010 Stanely Cup final series against the Flyers. Or, we could watch the final series against the Bruins when they won the cup last year."

"Let's watch the 2010 one," you said. "I don't think I watched it because I wasn't into watching hockey as much as I am now."

"And you have Jay to thank for that," Will pointed out.

"You can record things on there? Like an old-school DVR?" you asked.

"God, now I feel old," Will groaned. "Wait until she learns about floppy disks."

"Floppy what now?"

"Nevermind. Only 80s-90s kids would get it."

"We get it. You guys are millennials."

"Got it!" Jay exclaimed as he popped the videotape into the VCR and it started playing. "Now, shut up so we can relive this, Will."

You fell asleep before you even reached the end of the first period.

***

You rubbed your eyes and then looked around you to notice that you were still on the couch. You craned your neck to see the time on the oven on the other side of the open concept kitchen and living room and saw that it was 5:45 am. Jay was at the gym now. And, you knew you wouldn't be able to fall back asleep because you were already starting to worry about the rest of the day. You had to be in court at 8:30 and had to be talking to a judge at 9:00, the judge that would determine who you would be living with, which would inevitably determine your future.

God, you were thinking just like the teachers talked about the SATs, how if you didn't get a good grade on that standardized test that your future would be ruined.

You stood up and stretched and then went back to your room to grab the book you were currently reading. Then, you turned on a few lamps and grabbed a yogurt and fruit from the fridge, along with a glass of orange juice. After wrapping yourself in a blanket, you started to eat and read, hoping that that would keep your mind from wandering and worrying at least until Jay got back from the gym.

Half an hour later, Jay unlocked the apartment door and walked inside, confused as to why you were awake. It was only 6:15 and he had told you just to be up by 6:45.

"What are you doing awake, Short Stack?" he asked as he grabbed a banana from the bowl on the counter.

"I woke up at about 5:45 and I couldn't fall asleep. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to worry about. I just want you as well-rested for today as possible. You have your dress all ready? Know what shoes you're going to wear?"

"Jay," you whined. "I picked all of that out last night because you told me to."

"Just didn't want you to have to rush. I can turn the game back on for you so you can watch it until you have to start getting ready?"

You nodded and Jay came over and fiddled with the tv and the remote, going back to the middle of the first period where he thought you had fallen asleep.

"Okay, I'm gonna take a shower. Will said he'll be here around 7:45. Oh, and you can take that history test when you get back on Monday, in Miss Hedge's class."

You smiled. "Okay." Then, you turned your attention back to the hockey game.

***

You widened your eyes as you stood in the second bathroom getting ready. You had gotten dressed (into a navy blue, lacey dress that ended just above the knee that you had bought with Gabby a few days ago), washed your face, brushed your teeth, did your makeup, but now you were cursing yourself for being so stupid. You had no way of doing your hair. You didn't have a straightener here. And, your typical ponytail or bun wasn't going to cut it for court.

"Jay!" you yelled as you exited the bathroom and knocked on his bedroom door.

He opened it as he was tying his tie. "Yeah? Everything okay?"

"I don't have a straightener! I can't do my hair and if I wear my hair like I usually do then it will look bad on you and--"

"Hey, hey, calm down. We've still got over 45 minutes before we have to leave. I'll give Gabby a call and see if she's not on shift and can let you borrow hers."

You sighed the biggest sigh of relief. "Thank you."

Five minutes later, Jay knocked on the bathroom door as you were brushing your hair. "Gabby will be here in ten."

"Oh thank God."

***

"Thank you!" you exclaimed ten minutes later as you opened the door, revealing Gabby with her hair straightener. And, behind her, was Casey.

"No problem. Just tell me if you're not used to it and need help."

You took it from her. "No, I should be good. Thanks, though. C'mon in. I'm pretty sure Jay's around here somewhere."

They came into the apartment while you ran off to find Jay.

You knocked on his bedroom once more and he opened it, this time completely ready for the day. "Gabby and Casey are here," you told him.

"Casey's here?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yeah. I think he just came with Gabby."

"Okay. Go fix your hair. I'll go talk to them."

Twenty minutes later, you were finished and slipping your shoes on when you heard a knock on the apartment door. "I got it, Y/N!" Jay yelled.

Well, I hoped you would because you're closer to the door than me, you thought to yourself.

Jay opened the door, and since it was exactly 7:45, he was expecting to just see Will. But, what he saw both shocked him and made him want to cry from appreciation at the same time.

Standing next to Will was Natalie and behind them was all of Intelligence and Trudy Platt and Mouch, all of Squad 3 and Truck 81 (minus Casey because he was inside), Sylvie Brett, Chief Boden, April, Maggie, Dr. Rhodes, Dr. Charles, Reese, and Noah.

"You're all here for the court case?" Jay asked, stunned.

"Well, Natalie has to testify about Y/N's deficiencies and weight loss, but yeah. It's better if the court sees that the person trying to get guardianship has a ton of support. So, I figured I'd call in reinforcements...even though I'm pretty sure my big personality is enough."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Your big ego maybe." He paused, not knowing how he was going to fit everyone in his apartment even if it was bigger than his last one. "However many of you guys can fit inside, can come in. Um, some of you might just need to meet us at the courthouse--"

"Jay, they just came now so you could see how many people were behind you. They're just gonna meet you there. Except for me. I'm driving you two." Jay furrowed his eyebrows. They didn't talk about this. "I'll explain later."

"Gabby," you said as you walked out of the bathroom. "Can you--" you stopped as you saw everyone outside Jay's apartment.

"They're all here for you and Jay," Gabby explained as she stood up. "And, you can't cry because it'll smear your makeup, so hold back the tears."

You nodded as you held them back. "Can you, uh, check the back of my hair to make sure I got it all straight?" you asked.

"Two spots are still a bit wavy. Let's go fix it so you can get going."

A few minutes later, Gabby had fixed your hair and everyone besides Will and Jay had left and were on their way to the courthouse. You slipped on a pair of black ballet flats and your coat.

Will had explained that the reason he was driving was that if Jay didn't get guardianship, he didn't want him driving in such a distressed state. Will had worked on so many patients who were in car accidents due to their emotional state and he didn't want Jay to be one of them.

"Ready?" Jay asked you.

"As ready as I'll ever be," you said as you wiped your sweaty palms on your dress.

"All you have to do is tell the truth."

***

You thought you'd be comfortable inside a courtroom because of the crime dramas you'd seen. But, standing inside one was very different from watching a fictional tv show.

No one but you, the judge, the court reporter, Peter Stone, and your dad's lawyer could be in the room for this next part, so everyone was either in a witness room or waiting outside in the hallway for the go-ahead to be let in. You would be allowed to be in the courtroom while they were talking to Jay and your dad, but they wouldn't be able to be in the room when you talked to the judge...for obvious reasons, such as influencing what you would say.

"All rise."

You stood up next to Stone as the judge, who you now knew as Judge Callahan, entered the room.

Once you sat down, you were called to the stand. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?" you were asked as you placed your hand on the Bible.

"I do," you answered.

"Alright, please allow Miss Halstead on the witness stand," Judge Callahan said. "Now, I'm just going to ask you a few questions. All you have to do is answer them. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Okay, first question: Has your father, Pat Halstead, ever hit you or physically abused you in any way?"

"No," you answered.

"Has he ever neglected to give you necessities, such as food, water, clothing, or shelter?"

"Yes."

"Can you please elaborate?"

You did. You explained how your dad never had food in the house and would yell at you and call you a burden if you tried to eat his leftovers.

"Is it true that your father tried to break into your brother's house to get you?" Judge Callahan asked.

"Yes."

"Who do you feel safest with?"

"My brother, Jay Halstead."

"Who would you prefer to live with?"

"Jay Halstead."

***

Jay sat on the witness stand. He had answered all of Stone's questions, including all of the questions about him finding you stealing, what you had been using for pads, and what he had been told that you had been eating at your dad's house. Natalie had testified about your physical well-being, weight loss, and iron and riboflavin deficiencies. But now, it was time for Jay's cross-examination. And, he sure as hell didn't expect this next question to be asked.

"Mr. Halstead," your dad's lawyer began, "you previously said, and I quote, that your dad clocked out on parenting you and your older brother, Will, when you were in your teens, around when you started high school. Can you elaborate on that?"

"Objection!" Stone yelled. "Relevance?"

"Speaks to a pattern."

"I'll allow it," Judge Callahan said. "Please answer the question, Mr. Halstead."

Jay nodded. "He clocked out on parenting me and Will because he said that were essentially grown men at this point in our lives, we didn't need him cheering us on or him helping us. He didn't come to a single one of my soccer games in high school. And, if by some miracle we went out for ice cream or something just me, my brother, and my dad, he wouldn't pay for ours. Said we were old enough to pay for ourselves.

"But, we had our mom. She came to all our games and school events. She made us breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If she wasn't there, I don't know what would've happened to me and Will. My dad didn't even want me to go into the military and didn't want Will to go to medical school. He said a real man went right to work. The only time I felt loved by him in all my teenage years was when I left for the military. It was like because he knew I might die over there that he figured he'd say he loved me one last time."

"Redirect, your honor," Stone said. Judge Callahan nodded at Stone. "You said that your mom made you and your brother lunch. Are you doing that for Y/N?"

"Objection! Relevance?"

"Speaks to Mr. Halstead's abilities as a parent."

"I'll allow it. Please answer the question."

"I actually do," Jay answered. "I make her a packed lunch to bring to school every day and I'm sure to add foods high in iron and riboflavin to help those levels stabilize quicker. The first time I packed her a lunch, she actually cried because she hadn't gotten a lunch from home in so long."

"Thank you."

"Mr. Halstead," your dad's lawyer started, "you were previously deployed overseas in Afghanistan for two tours of duty. While I thank you for your service, is it possible that you could have PTSD and hurt Y/N in the middle of the night?"

"I would never hurt her!"

"While you are fully conscious, maybe. But, while you are in a sleep-addled state, isn't it possible that you might think that the person waking you up is an enemy soldier and not your little sister?"

Jay sighed. No one knew this about him, not you, not Will, not his dad. No one. And now all of his family and closest friends were going to know since they were in the courtroom watching this entire thing unfold.

"I am on Prazosin for nightmares caused by my PTSD," Jay answered.

"And how long have you been on this medication?"

"For about two years."

"And this has helped you manage your nightmares?"

"Yes, very much so."

"No further questions."

***

"Jesus, Jay," Will said after you had watched your dad's testimony on why he should get to keep you. It was the usual: how he was your father, so, therefore, he deserved to keep taking care of you and it's what your mother would've wanted...despite her telling Jay to keep you safe before she died. They already had the responding officers testify about the break-in, so he couldn't deny that and he was under oath, so if anyone found out he lied, then your dad would be held in contempt.

"I'm sorry I never told you, man," Jay said. "I just, I thought of it as weak that I couldn't deal with my own shit." He grimaced when he realized he had sworn around you. "Sorry, Y/N."

"It's okay. I hear that stuff at school."

"I'm just upset you didn't tell me they were getting that bad, Jay," Will lamented. "I know I wasn't there for you a lot after Mom died, but I'm here now."

Jay nodded, and Will knew he didn't want to talk about the topic anymore. You looked through the little window into the courtroom and saw that the judge was coming back from her chambers.

"Guys, I think she's made a decision," you said nervously.

"Whatever happens, me and Jay will be there for you," Will promised.

All you could do at this point was nod, as a lump was forming in your throat from all your nerves.

Jay led you back into the courtroom and you sat at the front, between Jay and Will. You wiped your sweaty palms on your dress and Jay gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Judge Callahan stood up.

"By using the child's best interest standard of who can provide food, clothing, housing, education, medical care, and a stable home life for Y/N Halstead, I declare Mr. Jay Halstead the legal guardian of Y/N Halstead."

You could've sworn that you stopped breathing the second she said Jay's first name. You were so overwhelmed that you just turned to him and started crying as he wrapped an arm around you while he listened to the judge state your dad's visitation rights.

But, you didn't hear any of that. The only phrase that kept repeating in your head was I declare Mr. Jay Halstead the legal guardian of Y/N Halstead over and over again.

Now, you knew that you'd always have the necessities when you lived with Jay. You wouldn't have to worry about where your next meal was going to come from or if your dad would be out until 3 am drinking. You wouldn't have to worry about having access to tampons or pads and not be embarrassed anymore to ask for some from school if you forgot to put any in your backpack that day. But most of all, you knew that you would be loved and cared for.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Did I make anyone cry with this one??? The blood draw scenario was actually based on when I had to go and get my blood drawn the other day and thought I was going to pass out, which is why that scene was so long. Anyway, thank you again for reading, and please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e

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awhitehead17 · 3 years

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Batfam Alphabet: L - Language

Summary: Jason doesn’t hesitate to drag his brothers down with him when Bruce starts reprimanding him about the type of language he uses on a daily basis.

Enjoy! :D

“Well this is just a load of bullshit! Why do they have to intervene? We’re perfectly capable of handling this.” Jason huffs and crosses his arms over his chest as he leans back in his chair. He can’t believe what he's hearing.

On the opposite side of the table Bruce levels him with a hard look. “Watch your language Jason.”

Jason blinks before sitting up straight. “What, it’s not like the kid is currently around to overhear."

“Jason!”

Glaring at the man, Jason scowls. This seems to be a regular topic of conversation between them recently because according to Bruce Jason swears too much, especially when he’s around Damian. The man, for whatever reason, wants Jason to be a good role model for the kid and apparently that includes him not swearing.

So now anytime he swears, Bruce points it out with a matching scolding tone and expression.

It’s a ridiculous notion because Jason being who he is was brought up with swearing, living on the streets for so many years exposed him to all kinds of things, one of which being the language people use. Swearing is just part of his vocabulary, half of the time he isn’t even aware he is doing it. As long as he’s not swearing at someone, then surely there should be some leniency.

“Oh come on!” He exclaims with a wave of his hands. “He’s been raised as an assassin, he was already tainted before we even met. Me saying a few words isn’t doing any harm.”

Before Bruce could respond a new voice joins the conversation. “To be fair you do swear a lot. Maybe you should try and tone it down.”

Jason turns to his right to glare at his older brother who’s lounging comfortably next to him. “Oh fuck off, Dick, no one asked for your opinion.”

Dick stares back unimpressed, he raises both eyebrows as if to say, “really?”

Jason recalls what he said and grits his teeth.

He points menacingly at Dick. “That doesn’t prove anything. Quite frankly I grew up in Crime Alley, of course I’m gonna swear, you hear it every minute in that place and typically as a kid you’re gonna pick up the habit. You know what they say old habits die hard.”

“Just like you did?” A different voice retorts with a snort.

Jason switches his gaze to Tim, who is opposite him next to Bruce currently playing with his phone, and blinks at him in surprise. “Uh, excuse me? I don’t know whether to be insulted or proud by that.”

It’s usually only him who makes death jokes so it’s come as a surprise to find Tim making one, a well-timed one too. Jason shakes his head, he’ll deal with those emotions at another time.

“Anyway, if we’re talking about who swears too much then why aren’t you giving Tim a lecture? He swears like a bloody sailor. If anyone needs reprimanding on his language it’s him!”

Tim abruptly stops fiddling with his phone and looks up, he rolls his eyes and glowers at him. “Jesus Christ that’s so immature Jason. How old are you, 10? I’m no way near as bad as you.”

His response gets a gleeful chuckle out of Jason. He knows exactly how the next few minutes are about to play out and he can’t wait. While the focus of the conversation had been on him, he’s glad for the opportunity to move it onto someone else and Tim happens to be perfect for the new spotlight.

Without any hesitation Jason digs into his pocket and grabs his phone. Once he has the device in hand he starts searching for the video he has saved for this very purpose. Call him petty, but he knew it would be good blackmail material one day.

“Oh really?” He drawls out, finally finding the video he had been looking for, “then what do I have here…” Jason clicks play and puts it on speaker so everyone in the room would be able to hear the audio.

After a second the sound of Tim’s voice could be heard. The teenager was clearly angry about something and certainly wasn’t holding back from letting his anger be known through his choice of words.

“You bloody bastard, why won’t you work you piece of shit. By god this is pissing me off now, I’ve been at this all fucking day and you’re still not fucking working. I am going to kill…”

The recording lasts for about a minute and is filled with Tim swearing his head off, cursing at everything and everyone and making empty threats. Once it’s finished Jason turns his phone off, puts it back in his pocket and leans back in his chair feeling smug about the situation.

“I rest my case.”

His words are met with a stunned silence in the room. Tim is blushing hard with his head buried in his hands. Next to him Bruce looks concerned, probably for Tim’s mental health and wellbeing. Dick’s staring at Tim with shock spread across his features.

After a few beats Tim lifts his head from his hands but keeps his eyes down staring at the table so he could avoid everyone’s eyes. “Okay in my defence the technology was really piss–annoying me. It wouldn’t work and I couldn’t work out why so I got frustrated and that happened.”

His response makes Jason snort and causes Dick to shake his head in disbelief. He knew Tim could be feisty but until that moment he never realised how bad his temper could get. Jason’s honestly impressed. However that doesn’t mean he’s letting Tim get away with it, especially when he’s getting blamed for something Tim does just as much of as him.

If he's going down then he’s dragging Tim down with him. It’s just unfortunate that he doesn’t have anything on Dick.

Jason’s broken out of his thoughts on ways he could get blackmail material on Dick when Tim speaks up again. He’s finally looking up at everyone though his still flushed face shows his prior embarrassment.

“Let’s be honest, is swearing really all that bad? As long as we’re not swearing at people then I think it’s fine. We’re not harming anyone. Who cares if we swear a little too much. And anyway, doesn’t everyone swear at some point?”

“Clark doesn’t.” Dick pipes up next to him.

Jason snorts. “That’s because big blue is a boy scout, of course he isn’t going to swear. He doesn’t count. Plus we’re from Gotham after all, it’s not like this is the most impeccable place in the world.”

Dick becomes thoughtful, humming his response. “Yeah that’s true I guess.”

“Boys.”

The three brother’s all turn and look at Bruce who had called for their attention. Jason had forgotten the man was even there, he had surprisingly been quiet until now. Maybe it’s because Clark was brought into the conversation, it must have peaked his interest. Jason files that information away for later.

“It doesn’t matter how much any of you swear, you shouldn’t do it at all. Damian is still young, he doesn’t need to grow up listening to that sort of language despite his initial upbringing.” Bruce firmly says, looking at each of them in turn. “You all know better and have good manners, going forward I expect you to use them.”

As Bruce rattles on about proper manners and the importance of them, Jason finds himself resisting the urge to smile. With every second that passes, it threatens to break out on his face. What makes matters worse is that he knows he shouldn’t smile, this isn’t a smiling matter considering how serious Bruce is being but the man is making it difficult to concentrate and to take the topic seriously.

Jason glances to the right to find Dick staring at Bruce with a hand covering the lower part of his face and Jason can tell that his brother is in the exact same boat as he is.

Apparently all it takes for him to break is Dick to glance at him and for them to make eye contact.

After that Jason couldn’t help himself but to burst out laughing, next to him Dick also breaks out into a fit of giggles. They laugh for a good while until they’re able to start calming down, by that point Jason’s cheeks are hurting and he even had tears forming in his eyes. As he takes a deep breath to compose himself he makes the mistake of looking over at Dick again, Dick looks back at him too and just like that they fall into another uncontrollable laughing fit.

While laughing Jason gets a glimpse of a confused looking Tim and a disappointed Bruce, but it’s Bruce’s scowling expression that triggers off another wave of giggles.

It takes even longer for the two of them to calm down. As he sits there Jason repeatedly takes deep breaths in order to collect himself. Once he’s calmed down a little, now able to breathe somewhat normally, he could feel how his sides are aching, how his cheeks hurt from the wide smiling and the tears coming from his eyes. He can’t remember the last time he laughed so hard that it hurt, and over something so trivial nonetheless.

When it feels like he’s finally composed himself he risks a glance at Dick to find his brother also in the state of calming down though there’s still a wide grin on face. He then looks at Bruce who is still staring at the two of them with his disappointed look. That’s almost enough to set himself off again. Almost.

“If you’re both quite done, we have important business to discuss, may I remind you that being the reason we’re meeting to begin with.”

“Hey, you’re the one who started on the whole language topic that derailed us in the beginning.” Jason defends himself and his brother’s. All Bruce does is huff at that, knowing Jason is right and can’t defend himself against it otherwise. Jason smirks victoriously.

Opposite him, Tim sighs loudly and makes a show to sitting up straight and sorting out some of the paperwork between them all on table. “Enough already, can we just go over the details and the police reports again and get to the end of this. I have better things to do than hear everyone bicker about language and manners.”

Dick gives the youngest a side look. “What you got planned? Is that who you were messaging just now? Is it your boyfriend?”

“What? No. Just friends. I ain’t telling you.” Tim snaps glaring at Dick.

Jason whistles. “Timmy’s getting some tonight then eh? Make sure to stay safe and use protection.”

“Jason!”

“Well he’s not wrong Tim, but where are you going? We need to know so if something happens we know where to look first.” Dick’s looking more concerned by the minute and Jason could see the flip switch from carefree older brother to over-bearing mother hen.

Tim blinks at them before turning his gaze to Bruce. In a whining voice he pleads the man, “Bruce, get them to stop!”

To begin with all Bruce does is run a hand over his face like he’s regretting every life choice he’s made and how he would rather be anywhere else but here. After a moment he sends exasperated looks at his eldest sons.

“Not much more to go, then we should be all caught up and ready to proceed with the case further tomorrow. Is it too much to ask for your full attention for the remaining hour?”

Jason sighs and sits up straighter, knowing play time is over and it’s time to be serious. One more hour won’t hurt, then afterwards there’s nothing stopping him from having a little fun is there. He nods at Bruce and picks up the piece of paper closet to him to examine the page. Dick does the same and finally Bruce proceeds with their meeting.

#batfam alphabet #batfamily #Jason Todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #Tim Drake #humour #lots of swearing #probably more than necessary #Brotherly Love #sibling relationship #annoying siblings #Petty Jason #this got away from me #i don't know what happened #tired dad bruce #fanfiction

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darthkruge · 3 years

Text

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Help

Summary: The five times the Senator!Reader needs Anakin’s help but refuses to ask for it and the one time they do

Warnings: Language, reader is afraid of vulnerability, reader is going through it, angst, violence, fluff (it ends on a positive note, I promise)

Words: 4k

A/N: This idea has kinda been bouncing around my head for a hot minute and I finally decided to just go ahead and write it. And somehow it became the longest fic I’ve ever written! Is this self-indulgent? Who’s to say?!

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I.

Okay, so a right, then a left, then another left, then-

You groaned. You’d been going over the cryptic instructions Padme gave you back at the temple but they were, unfortunately, not helping. It was your first time alone in Coruscant and you were completely lost in the painfully literal sense. You had just been given your first actual mission with the Council as a senator, something you’d worked your entire career for. As an added bonus, you were on the same planet as your boyfriend, Anakin Skywalker.

You’d gotten close over the last year and were elated when he asked you on a date the last time you were in the same place. This was the first time you were together in the two weeks it had been since then.

Anyway, you were currently wandering around the bustling Coruscant streets, looking for the market. Well, you were looking for the market. Now, you realized you would probably never find it and were just trying to make your way back.

You debated calling Anakin. You could. He would be able to guide you home easily, you rationalized. But it’s Coruscant! How difficult could it be? If people came here for missions all the time and didn’t get hopelessly lost, so could you! And Anakin was probably busy anyway, you didn’t want to disturb him. Besides, the relationship was so new! You didn’t want to annoy him. After weighing the odds, you pushed down the urge to reach out and decided to just find your own way.

This logic was ridiculous, you realized far too late. Fuck. There was no way around it, you were going to be late. Or at the very least, cut it exceptionally close. You started running, heart racing. It would be so stupid to be late to your first actual Council meeting because you got lost. You wanted them to take you seriously and think of you as a professional. Tardiness as a first impression went against all of that!

After sprinting and taking several aimless turns, by some stroke of magic you found your way to the Temple. You checked the time and realized you had two minutes to make it to up several flights of stairs.

Fuck it. You decided, taking off in a run. You took the stairs two at a time, stumbling occasionally before unceremoniously bursting through the doors to the meeting.

You gulped in air quickly, chest heaving while you desperately tried to calm your heart. You inelegantly brushed a hand through your hair and gave an awkward smile.

“Hi, uh, everyone! Hi! I’m,” You took a quick break to breathe in some more oxygen as your gaze shifted to Anakin. He looked amused and concerned as he took you in. He gave you a discreet and supportive smile and head nod. You gave your own in return. He believes in me. “I’m Senator Y/N L/N”

II.

Honestly, you didn’t know how your speeder had broken. You’d been flying them for years and, despite being a senator, you were pretty damn good at it. It was something that gave you solace as a kid, those little moments of freedom. Even then, though, you were a decently cautious person and didn’t break many of them.

Thus, you ended up in your current predicament. Staring at the fried wires under the hood of your speeder, trying to figure out what the fuck went wrong. You knew Anakin was freakishly talented at fixing basically everything. He could probably look at the speeder for 10 minutes, know what’s wrong with it, and get it back to you in perfect shape.

You think this is why you don’t want to tell him. What if he thought you were stupid? Shouldn’t you be able to figure this out yourself? You fought with your instincts, feeling the conflict build inside you.

You knew he wouldn’t judge you. You knew he’d be glad you came to him for help. Even so, you felt physically incapable of moving to call or find him.

Frustrated, you turned back to your work. You decided to pull this one gear, thinking it might do something. Well, you were right about that. A stream of oil sprayed out of the speeder, coating you in its thick, black paint. You stood there frozen for a second, trying to mentally comprehend that you had just been sprayed with oil because you were too afraid to talk to the man you were in a literal relationship with!!

You groaned, wiping your hands on your pants before grabbing a towel to wipe some of the grease off your face. You walked back into your apartment quickly, praying to the Maker that no one would see you like this. Honestly, they’d probably smell you first and run the other way.

You finally got back without problems and made a bee-line straight to the bathroom. Pulling off your clothes and turning on the hot shower, you sighed as you finally felt the oil washed off your skin. You spent about twenty minutes in there, scrubbing furiously to ensure you didn’t smell like a fucking garage.

Finally, you went out and saw Anakin sitting on your bed, messing with a piece of wiring.

“Hey, Y/N! Did you know your speeder was broken? It looks like you blew a cable, easy fix, don’t worry. I’ll have it ready for you by tonight.”

He looked up and saw your exhausted state and the clump of dirty, grease ridden clothes you were holding.

His brow furrowed, trying to piece it together. “Maker, what happened to you?”

“I had a fight with the speeder. And lost”

Anakin bit back a laugh before his confusion compounded. “Wait, you know I can fix this, right? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was an idiot. I mean, I did something and broke an entire speeder and somehow didn’t even know what I broke! It’s humiliating!”

“Cables are hard, it’s not your fault you didn’t know what to do, love.”

“Really?” You asked, unconvinced.

“Really. Come on, let’s go throw those clothes in the wash and I’ll get back to fixing this.”

“Oh, no, Ani you don’t have to-”

Anakin cut you off with a kiss, distracting you enough to quickly take the clothes from your hands.

“I’ll have it ready within the hour, my love.”

III.

Who the fuck decided to put the plates that high up?!

You jumped again and again, arm outstretched as far as possible. Once again, you didn’t even get close. Sighing, you looked around the apartment and noticed a ladder. It looked a bit unsteady but you would be fine, right? You were a whole ass senator, you were sure you could handle an old ladder.

Pulling it over to you, you climbed up and reached out. Much closer this time, but you still couldn’t reach them. You went on your tiptoes, eyebrows furrowed and lip bit in concentration. You angled your body just a little further, a little further-

The ladder was suddenly ripped out from under you and you desperately shot your arms out, hands clawing to try and stop your imminent fall onto the hard kitchen tiles. Bracing yourself for the inevitable pain, you squeezed your eyes closed.

“Y/N!!” You heard as your fall suddenly stopped. You opened your eyes and noticed you were barely floating above the floor. Anakin ran toward you and noticed the ladder strewn on the floor beside you.

“What the hell were you doing?” He said, offering you his hand and pulling you up.

“I was just-” You gesture lamely to the plates, realizing how ridiculous you must look.

“Y/N, no one can reach those! Next time, just call me, I’ll get them for you!”

“But-” You sigh, hating this. “I wanted to be able to do this, I don’t want to rely on you and your Jedi powers all the time”

Anakin’s gaze softened. He knew you had trouble relying on others. Even so, he couldn’t even start to think of what would have happened if he’d arrived home even 10 seconds later.

“I know, baby, I know. But, please, try. You’d have to rely on me a lot more if you break your legs falling off a ladder.”

“I know” You reply softly, giving him a shy smile. “I’m working on it, I promise”

IV.

You’d been up all night working on a new presentation for the Council. You’d spent hours going over it, the facts, the plans, the details. Everything was set. Well, everything except one little piece. To make your point stronger, you needed the statistics from the latest Jedi missions.

The only people with access to those were Anakin and Obi-Wan. You knew, logically, that if you asked Anakin he’d give them to you without hesitation. He supported you always and knew that you only used your power as a senator to improve lives.

Even so, there was that part of your brain that told you he wouldn’t give them to you. He would think you’re just trying to use him for his connections as a Jedi. Or perhaps he simply wouldn’t care enough to search through the reports to find the information.

All of this was, of course, completely inaccurate. But you’d never had someone who actually wanted to help you. It's always been “okay I’ll do this for you but only if you do this for me, too.” No one ever looked out for you and you’d grown accustomed to it. It’d become almost comforting, in a way. At least you knew what to expect.

This was how you ended up seeing your beautiful boyfriend across the halls of the Jedi temple and walking another way. Your heart tugged painfully and your brain screamed at you. Why don’t you allow yourself to trust him? Why would you assume the worst? Why can’t you fight these thoughts?

You took one more look back at him. You didn’t want to be closed off by any stretch of the imagination. You wished you could turn off the thoughts and the doubt. You knew Ani didn’t deserve it. You sighed. There he was, training by himself in the courtyard. You looked away and took a moment to compose yourself before your legs carried you away and toward your good friend.

“Hey, Obi-Wan, could you help me with something for the next Council meeting?”

V.

You were running. You were running and as fast as you moved, you never got closer to him. You were never safe. A masked figure was chasing you and you just couldn’t get away. Your legs burned with the effort, your lungs straining to grasp oxygen. You were exhausted to your core, your sheer panic the only thing keeping you awake.

You looked back and saw the man gaining on you. Tears started streaming down your cheeks. You knew what he was capable of and had no doubt he would kill you if he caught you. You didn’t want to die, not like this. You didn’t want him to beat you. You were so, so scared. You screamed as he caught up to you, your body no longer moving. You pleaded with your legs to work, reasoned with the heavens, did anything you could, and yet you wouldn’t budge.

The stranger’s claw of a hand twisted around your neck, squeezing. You fought. It was pointless. You began to black out, feeling the life slip out of your body. Dark spots appeared in the corners of your vision and you tried once again to kick your way out of his grasp-

You bolted awake, eyes shooting open. Your chest was heaving and tear stains marked your cheeks. You placed your hands on the bed sheets, bunching them up and trying to feel the texture to remind yourself that you were safe. You tried to breathe, tried to calm yourself but nothing was working.

You got up, pacing quietly. Out of all the nights to have a nightmare, it had to be today. The one night you and Anakin weren’t together. Since you had to hide the relationship, you couldn’t technically share an apartment. This didn’t stop you from spending basically every night together, though. His chambers became yours after the first month or so of dating, neither of you wanting to spend time apart.

But, unfortunately, the Council seemed more cautious as of late and you didn’t want to risk it. Thus, you decided to spend tonight apart. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to care right now. You grabbed one of his Jedi robes, pulling the black fabric around your body. You were immediately calmed by his scent and wrapped it closer around you. You started to make your way down the hall. You knew it was risky but after that nightmare, you just needed him.

You made it to his apartment, went to knock on the door, and abruptly stopped. What are you doing? You can’t just go to him! He’s exhausted, he’s been working all week! He finally got home from a mission and you want to wake him up in the middle of the night because you had a nightmare? It wasn’t even real! Maker, get a hold of yourself, Y/N!

Your hand hovered over the door. You wanted him, you did. But those lingering thoughts, those lingering emotions remained. A childhood of neglect, of constant feelings of unimportance left scars you couldn’t avoid. You hated that your parent’s inability to show you affection or care manifested in your inability to be vulnerable. Despite this, you somehow understood. You’d spent years letting them in and only getting invalidated in return. Like all patterns, this one wouldn’t go away just because you wanted it to.

Now, every time you tried to let Anakin in, it’s like an alarm was tripped in your brain. Every part of you that wanted to allow him to know you was combated with the overwhelming fear that, if you did, if you went to him for comfort or help, he would think of you as a burden. He’d leave, just like the rest of them did. So you pushed the urge for comfort aside, dropped your hand, and made the lonely walk back to your room.

You got back to your room, mentally beating yourself up. You wished your brain worked differently. You wished you would allow yourself to be loved. You wished you could trust, fully and completely. You sighed. Knowing you wouldn’t be getting any sleep, you made yourself a cup of tea and sat on your cough, the room solely illuminated by the moonlight. You kept Anakin’s robes around you, wishing it was his arms. You sat like that until morning, sipping the drink on and off until it grew cold. You were zoned out, staring out the window at the Coruscant traffic. Your thoughts either drifted to him or your past trauma. Maker, you wished you could change it.

I.

Fuck. You’d been driving around on your speeder, zipping in and out of alleys, for the last twenty minutes. There was a bounty hunter after you. A damn good bounty hunter, at that. Being a high profile senator, it made sense you’d run into the occasional person trying to kidnap you. Or kill you.

Damn, this bitch is good. You kept trying to lose them but you couldn’t shake them. You didn’t even know who they were but it didn’t matter, you supposed. At the end of the day, regardless of who was in that speeder, they wanted you dead. And if you didn’t figure out how to get out of this mess, you would be.

They’d been shooting at you for a while now but you’d been able to avoid the blasts. Whether it was skill, luck, or a combination of both, you weren’t sure. Even so, you didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t shoot back at them, as you stupidly forgot your blaster. Who could blame you, though? All you wanted to do was go for a ride to clear your head, you didn’t expect to be fucking shot at!

You continued like this for a while. All you had to do was get back to the Temple. You were probably about 10 minutes away if you continued at this pace, 7 if you really pushed it. You looked ahead and saw the walls of it come into view and suddenly safety didn’t feel so far away. Despite the circumstances, a smile graced your face. You could do this.

Or maybe not. As you tried to swerve between more buildings, they hit you. You felt your speeder plummet 10 feet instantly and screamed. Your engine sputtered and your heart dropped. Mind racing, you tried to drive but came to the chilling realization that there was no way you’d make it back. Your engine was done for, it wouldn’t make it 3 minutes, yet alone all the way back.

Your mind went to him. Anakin. Fuck, you loved him. You let out a humorless laugh. Since you started dating, you almost never asked him for help. You couldn’t let him in. Something in your brain stopped you every single time. And yet, now, all of that felt stupid. It felt juvenile. When you looked at your speeder, slowly but surely stalling and the bounty hunter approaching, you felt this overwhelming sense of clarity.

You were going to die. This person, they would get to your speeder and shoot you. You didn’t have a single weapon. It was inevitable. Your mind, however, wouldn’t relent. It was stuck on him. In this moment, you pressed the comm button in your speeder, hoping beyond hope that it would still work.

“Y/N?” Anakin’s staticky voice cut through the speeder and went straight to your heart.

“Hey, Ani” You said, your voice broken up with unshed tears.

“Y/N? Where are you? What’s happening?”

“I’m- Anakin, I’m in trouble. A bounty hunter is after me, my speeder is hit and going to stop working probably within the next 20 seconds. I don’t have any weapons to defend myself. I, I, uh, I need your help”

“I’m coming to get you, stay where you are.” His voice was firm, his need to protect you overruling everything else in his body.

“I’m just a few-”

“I’ve got you, love. I can sense you in the Force. I know where you are”

Of course he could. You took a few deep breaths and you speeder sputtered out, stopping in a deserted alleyway. You looked around and saw the bounty hunter, now obviously male, stepping out and making his way towards you.

“He’s here, Anakin” Your voice was tight, anxious. You were quiet, paralyzed by fear.

“Please, Y/N, fuck! Hold on, I’m almost there”

“Ani, Anakin I’m scared! Ani! Ani!” You were hysterical now, screaming and sobbing his name as the man punched the top of your speeder, fracturing the glass. He pulled you out of it by the hair and threw you harshly onto the concrete.

You yelped in pain as he kicked you directly in the ribs. He backhanded you across the face, the power from his hit making blood pool in your mouth. Harshly you spit it onto the ground, looking up at him with pure hate.

He placed the blaster to your head, right on your forehead. You let your eyes flutter closed. Your knees were scraped, legs bruised. You were sure at least one of your ribs was broken. You could feel blood running from your temple. Your arm was radiating pain from landing on it. Despite all this, the only thing you thought of was Anakin. Funny, you thought, how the brain chooses what to focus on in its last moments. All you hoped was that he didn’t feel responsible for your death. All you hoped was that he knew you loved him.

“You’re finished, Senator”

“I don’t think so” Anakin’s smooth voice, tight with anger, cut through the air. His lightsaber unsheathed, he swung it directly into the man. You gasped, everything happening so quickly. As soon as the blaster was gone from your forehead, you scrambled back.

Anakin walked up to you but, from the shock, you pulled back even further.

“Hey, hey, it’s me, it’s Anakin, okay? I’m not gonna hurt you”

You whimpered, looking at him and placing a hand on his jacket before harshly jumping into his arms. He gripped you to him, both of you sighing in relief.

“You came for me”

He looked at you like you were insane. “Of course I did! You needed me, you called! I’m always going to be there for you, Y/N. I am always going to show up”

“Thank you” You said, voice muffled against his chest. His hands raked through your hair while you just breathed him in. His scent comforted you, his strong chest and large arms grounding you after a day so intense and horrifying that nothing felt real.

You were still trembling, the aftershocks quite apparent.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you. You’re safe, he’s dead, he’s gone. No one’s ever gonna hurt you again, I promise.” Anakin whispered these affirmations into your hair, holding you until the shaking ceased.

“Thank you for calling me, Y/N. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

“It wasn’t that hard, to be honest, I- wait? What do you mean, you know it couldn’t have been easy for me?!”

Anakin looked at your sheepishly. “You honestly think I haven’t noticed your problems with asking for help? We’ve been together for almost a year and, contrary to popular belief, I can be quite perceptive. I didn’t want to call you out on it, I assumed you’d be embarrassed. But I’m glad that when it actually came down to life or death, you called me.”

“I’ve always known I could call you, Anakin. Please, I don’t want you to ever think my inability to be vulnerable is rooted to anything you do. You’re, fuck, you’re perfect. You’re kind and compassionate and caring and you’re always looking out for me. Look, I know I haven’t been too open about my past and I still struggle with that. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve never had someone who actually wanted to be there for me. This thing where you care and want me to come to you when I’m hurting or simply just want affection or company or help with the little things, it’s foreign to me.”

Ani’s heart broke at your words. “I’m sorry I didn’t know you back then, Y/N. I hate that this” He said, gesturing between you both “is unique to you. But, seriously, anytime you need anything I’m someone you can come to. I honestly want you to come to me. Regardless of if you think it’s something small or this life-altering favor, ask me. I doubt I’d turn you away and, on the off chance I do, I’m not gonna hold that against you.”

“You won’t leave? Even if I show you all of me? Even if I rely on you?”

“I won’t leave you, beautiful. So long as you allow me to show you all of me, too. And you let me rely on you, too.”

Your eyes widened at his words. “Of course! Of course, Ani! I’m here for you, I got you, too, always.”

“I know you do” His flesh hand went up, cupping your cheek.

“I know you do, too.” You sighed into his touch. You were exhausted beyond belief, your body and mind pretty much shutting down from the stress of it all. Even so, you relaxed further into his body. Yeah, this was new. Yes, it was scary. But you were going to try. Even though it terrified you, you wanted to be loved. You wanted to be loved by him.

--

tagging julia bc she asked when i was textpost-complaining about having to edit this <3

@anakinswhore

#megan writes #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x gn!reader #anakin skywalker x gender neutral reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker imagines #anakin skywalker angst #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #anakin skywalker

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bangteamhyuk · 3 years

Text

In This Rain

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Genre: Mafia (AU), Action, Suspense/Thriller, Smut

Mature content

Word Count: 4,962k

Characters: Police Captain!Namjoon, Police Officer! Reader, Mafia Boss! Jungkook.

Warning: mentions of drug use, graphic violence, language, oral sex, penetrative sex, implied dom!reader, emotional manipulation, mention of psychopathic characters, implied torture

Synopsis: You admire your captain, your beloved Capt. Kim Namjoon. You admire him so much that you wanted to be by his side always, well, quite literally. Under his office desk, inside his apartment, on his bed and even on his dangerous mission against a vicious Mafia leader named Jeon Jungkook.

He’s been so obsessed in Jungkook, his formidable enemy on his entire career, that he’s been trying to apprehend him for years. Until both of you uncovered an unsettling truth as to why he always slithers: there’s a mole within your department.

Namjoon kicked the door hard with his combat boots, took cover immediately from the wall behind him, before aiming his gun to the direction of the open entryway.

“Freeze!” he shouted.

Yet he was the one that was left frozen at the scene. Two men, thin as a stick, were staring blankly at the ceiling. Clearly passed out with rubbers wrapped around their arms, old scabs and fresh jabs on their skin. Several discarded needles were left lying on the floor.

They look so oblivious from the presence of Namjoon and his team that you can’t help but call him out “Namjoon, I think we’re late” you shook your head, as you watched their cold and drugged out bodies sitting on a plastic chair, heads resting on the air.

“We are, they’re both dead” Hoseok said after checking their pulse. He stared at them for a moment, as if saying a prayer as he shuts their eyes gently with his finger.

Namjoon walked around the room and picked a used foil and a paper with logo of a lotus flower “Jungkook…” he mumbled to himself as he crumpled the paper and threw it on the floor in fury.

“Are you sure it’s him?” you went to pick it up and checked. It was definitely the symbol of his organized syndicate.

“Positive” Namjoon’s blood suddenly rushed in and felt nauseous at the thought, as he shut his eyes, hoping that he was wrong about it.

“It was a close one...” Hoseok rummaged through the pockets of the two men, but he found none.

“I was so sure, they’ll be here. Him and his men. But why does it look like they knew... You think” you shut your eyes and gasped, realizing what Namjoon might have just thought of earlier. “there’s a mole within the Department?” you continued, slowly turning around to see Namjoon’s reaction. His face turned grim and just weakly nodded.

“I trust that you two would keep this a secret, until we find who it is…” Namjoon swore. It wasn’t about money or his ego any longer, he wanted to end this. For years. Whatever this was, he wanted to stop people from dying, stop wasting innocent lives, end the fear of women and children always being on the brink of death.

“Roger” Hoseok nodded.

“Roger, Captain!” you blinked and stood up. You and Hoseok tapped Namjoon’s shoulder, assuring him that you two were on his side. Always on his side.

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You and Hoseok stood behind closed doors, but it was very apparent that the chiefs and the Department heads were clearly upset at the result of your team’s recent mission.

“Goddamit! We told you to think things through Kim and you blew it! You got one shot! One fucking shot, and you didn’t even get to meet a single strand of his hair!” the deputy chief exclaimed.

“What a waste of the city tax, really, you haven’t given us any valuable result” the Department head, fixed his paper and put everything inside his briefcase.

Namjoon just stood there, taking every thing silently. He was called names before, been spatted, got hit, everything. He’s the man who’s been through all horrible things and yet he still took it in. No wonder why you’ve like this guy, there’s something incredibly attractive about an underdog filled with potentials. It’s as if you’re hearing a club of hyenas around a lion, waiting for it to roar. He was the kind of leader you want to solemnly swear your loyalty, and that was the reason why you were there.

After the sham meeting, you and Hoseok just followed Namjoon towards your office room. He was clearly angry and frustrated, as well. But more than that he was determined to find another chance to get close to Jungkook . Namjoon went to his desk silently, and studied recent reports and profiles of people on his desk, piled and unkept.

Hoseok, feeling unnecessarily guilty, excused himself to get the team sandwiches from a nearby store.

You on the other hand, had something in mind to ease Namjoon’s frustration. “Hey there” you whispered on his ear. “Not here, Y/N. Not today” his eyes still concentrated on the screen. You gently pressed his shoulders, unbothered at his plea and made gentle circular motion, caressing his stiff shoulder blades. You slowly crouched down to kiss his ears and traced it down his neck. “You know what reminds me of your stiffness?” you chuckled.

“I said stop!” his quick reflex surprised you, as he held on to your wrist. His eyes stern, full of resolved. You stood up, and knew that he wasn’t up for any games.

“I just heard everything from the meeting. It’s hard to miss.” You folded your arms, as you watched him turn his back on you again and type disordered words on his screen. “Try, typing Gwangjin-gu, April 16…” you reached out for his hands to guide his finger from each letter on the keyboard, as he suddenly groaned softly to the sensation of your warm hands.

You smirked, seeing him freeze for a second. You crouched back down again and slowly reached for his legs hiding underneath his desk. “You know, it takes Hoseok about half an hour to get back? No one’s around. I’m sure you needed to let loose of that tension” you spoke softly, while caressing his legs. He slowly turned around from his seat and opened his legs.

“Give me 10 minutes tops, Captain” you smirked as you knelt down, and unclasped his belt.

Namjoon just stared at you blankly for a second, thoughtless and unsure. But as soon as he felt the warmth that you give right in the middle of his legs, he cursed and responded in pure ecstasy. You watched him toss his head and covered his mouth, trying not to cry out your name, but you love it. You love seeing your beloved Captain, the one people look up with so much pride and respect, becomes susceptible to your touch.

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You were lounging in the smoking area during your break time, even though you aren’t smoker. You just like being outside, on a bench, and beside a vending coffee machine where you could refill your own cup.

“Hm, Sun Tzu’s Art of War” you heard Namjoon’s voice from behind. You nodded in agreement, as you finished the last line of the page and flipped it to the next.

“Read this about 9 times, still holds true” you replied, not leaving your gaze towards the book.

“I got a lead” he pulled out his cup from the vending machine and scoot beside you on the bench. You closed your book and turned to face him. Namjoon peered behind you, and looked around before he dropped the name “Seokjin”. You squint your eyes, trying to figure out how Namjoon arrived at his conclusion.

“You mean Kim Seokjin from the Hi-tech Crime Unit?” you spoke softly towards him, making sure no one hears even when it was only the two of you in the area.

He nodded, grinning. “I always wonder how he received information about them, everyone in his unit is as competent as he is but he would always get the best lead”

You smiled, finally beginning to piece things together. “It does seem odd Namjoon. It doesn’t make sense, but it does seem bizarre? How does he get those information?” you stared at Namjoon and smirked “I never thought of that, Captain. As always, that’s pretty smart of you to---”

“Y/N!” you heard someone call.

“Speak of the devil” you smiled at Namjoon then at Seokjin.

“Meet you after office hours?” Seokjin ran up to you, handing you a bag of sandwich. Namjoon tilt his head in confusion.

“Yeah sure” you blushed, turning your head to the floor at Seokjin’s sweet gesture.

“Y/N, are you…. Are you two going out? Since when?” Namjoon stood up, puzzled at the scenario. Clearly, you have left him out of the picture, but it’s not like you owe him anything. Besides weren’t you two clear about the position you two are in? Just colleagues trying to help each other out? Out of convenience?

“Kind of like that. Well, you never asked about our private lives, Cap” you chuckled. Not that he doesn’t care, but you know how much he respects his colleague’s personal space. Well, except on some occasion when you two needed to satisfy each other’s need. “Give me a minute, I just need to talk to my superior” you faced Seokjin for a moment and watched him wait for you at a distance.

“Cap, I’m sorry.” You cleared your throat and continued “The news surprised me too, and I didn’t know how to tell you. Can you trust me? I’ll try to look on to this. I swear, feelings won’t get involved. If I happen to find anything that might point a connection against Seokjin and Jungkook, I’ll let you know immediately”

“And what if he is? Are you okay with it? You know what will happen if he becomes part of our custody” he asked, worriedly.

You shut your eyes and nodded “I’m aware. I’ve been seeing him Jin for half a month now. It’s nothing compared to you, Cap” you looked down, refusing to look back at him, not when you just confessed your feelings for him albeit indirectly.

“Y/N…” he spoke softly.

“You don’t have to say anything.” You shook your head “I know this is purely work, lives are on the line…” You begrudgingly replied, then you paused. “That’s why I’ll make sure I’ll get compensated well on this” you slowly turned your gazed at him, now smirking.

“I can only pay what the government give--- ” you stopped him mid-sentence by pointing a finger on his lip, raising yourself up, tip-toed.

“Not that silly” He tilt his head again in confusion. “You, wrapped around my fingers. Go figure.” You whispered on his ear and chuckled. You turned around, and left him wondering on his own. It took him a moment before he realized what you meant. He bashfully chuckled at the thought.

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After spending more time with Seokjin for months, you’ve finally gathered valuable information to report directly to Namjoon, which entails you in meeting him straight to his own apartment each night.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” he asked, as he gathered his boxer he left from the floor. You remained still in bed, panting after doing a marathon with Namjoon. Namjoon opened his window to let the cold breeze enter his dull room.

You turned sideways and watched him moved out from the bed, savoring his bareness. “Nearly, ready”

He tied his discarded condom and threw it on the trash bin “Y/N, whatever happens tomorrow. I just want to let you know that I---” he paused, trying to construct what he was about to say.

You sat up, despite remaining bare “Shh” You reached him out for a kiss.

“If things goes bad tomorrow, I want you to know that you mean so much to me” he took your wrist and kissed the back of your hand, his lips pressed hard as if hoping that his pure intentions will get through your skin.

You shook you head. “Aren’t I just a colleague, Namjoon?” you smiled weakly, reminding him of the reality that you are just there for him… for his own convenience.

He cupped your cheek and kissed you again. “You’re my partner, in everything Y/N”

You parted and smile. “I’m glad you feel that way” you pushed him back to bed, and pulled his boxers off again, almost ripping it to two. You wanted to let him know he wasn’t wrong, about feeling that you are his.

He was clearly surprised at your reaction, and flustered upon seeing you right above him. You smiled, amused at the view. To see your beloved Captain in such a vulnerable position. And like a clockwork, you sat comfortably on his waist as you pulled his wrists towards you. You forced his palms open with yours and directed it to your chest, letting him feel you again.

You closed your eyes, as you let him cup you gently “Captain..” you breathed his name while you shut your eyes, and began moving your hips slowly.

“Shit” he quickly got hard again, and you felt that. You felt his excitement again after you shamelessly teased your beloved Captain. You took a sealed condom from the bed side table and placed it on his harden length. He pulled one of his hand away and held on to it, then guided his length towards your entrance. You opened your eyes and smile.

“Ready for a second?” you asked. You watched him nod, as he began to push it in within you, both of you cursed almost synchronously at the ecstatic sensation. You tossed your head, and began moving your hips.

He held on to your waist, and you relished on it. You relished the way your Captain held on to you, you relished at the sight of seeing someone strong like him depended on you for comfort and affirmation. Exhilarated at the view of him below you, exhilarated at the thought of your own superior, down at your mercy.

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Seokjin informed the Investigation Department again, which the assignment was promptly relayed again to your team: “Apprehend Jungkook and his men in #32 Namdo Building Gangseo-gu District”

At the same time, Namjoon informed the Investigation Department of his suspicion against Seokjin.

“You sure, Kim? If you’re wrong about this, not only will you lose Seokjin’s trust but your whole credibility as a Captain…” Mr. Song, one of the Investigation head, reminded Namjoon.

“I am certain sir. One of my partner, Y/N, was able to gather pieces of evidence that may point out his guilt in conniving with Jeon Jungkook” he bowed and handed him a manilla envelope containing the things you took from Seokjin, secretly.

“Very well, we will take Seokjin in to custody after I examine these things. Good luck on your mission” he bid Namjoon good luck as he watched Namjoon ran towards his car while it rained.

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“Point A to D clear” you heard Hoseok speak from you and Namjoon’s ear piece.

“Copy” you subtly replied from your microphone hidden inside your shirt. “Ready, Mr. Kim?” you fixed his necktie inside the car. He didn’t reply, his eyes were burning with hatred. You’ve never seen him this determined to be able to see Jungkook, his formidable enemy, finally in the flesh.

You and Namjoon, took great lengths over these past few weeks to be able to secure a seat on this secret meeting with the boss himself, Jeon Jungkook. Despite at his tender age of 22, he was able to amass a fortune more than his father and his forefathers could ever gain. And now at the age of 24, he was able to bring down all his enemies. Rumor has it, he would clear out his enemy’s entire family line so that no one could ever attempt to take revenge against the whole Jeon family.

But Namjoon was ready to risk it all, even if his own family was on the line. He was willing to wager everything he has, just to end his lunacy. Yet he still couldn’t bring to himself the idea of risking and losing you against Jeon.

“Y/N, if anything goes bad, I want you to run as far as you could. Away from this, okay? You know how vindictive Jungkook can be” he stared at you, longingly.

“Joon” you shook your head and corrected yourself “I mean Captain, I’m trained to face whatever remember? Whatever happens, I’ll show up. It’s part of my job---”

“Okay, lovebirds, enough chit-chat. You know this is recorded right? We’ll be handling our conversation to the heads, unless you wanted to let them know about your secret affair or whatever this is… God, it’s awkward listening to you two!” Hoseok said on the other line.

You chuckled. “Can we have this off-record? Anyway, he’s right Captain. Time’s running. You need to get to your sit there now, as Mr. Kim the representative of Fiery Brothel of Songpa-gu District. I’ll stay here, make sure everything is working according to plan, alright?” you pat his collar and checked his ear piece if it was greatly secured. “All dashing and ready!” you smiled at him.

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Namjoon introduced himself as Mr. Kim to a man in red suit “I speak on behalf of my superior Mr. Co, who manages Fiery Brothel in Songpa-gu owned by the Jeon” The man in red suit just nod and led you inside the building.

At first, Namjoon was confused as to why he was led inside a burger chain. Then he turned to the left hallway and entered inside the “authorized personnel staff room”, Namjoon followed. The room was cramped and filled with cleaning tools, food and personal hygiene products and other things.

The man pulled out the fire extinguisher from the glass box, where he found a button hidden behind it. He suddenly pressed it twice, paused then thrice, paused then once. It was a secret code. The wall started to separate from top to bottom, unfurling another secret entryway that leads to a speakeasy bar-cum-opium den.

Namjoon quickly recognized few faces around, from the head of the other government department, to local celebrities, even the sons and daughter of influential businessmen were there. Gambling, out of wits, high from the aroma of opium mixed with other things.

They continued to walk, the man in red suit clearly unbothered, as if it was regular business. Namjoon gulped and tried to calm himself, putting a mental note on everything he saw and commit it to his memory. He’ll be needing it once he get his hands on Jungkook. Everything he sees right now, everything he owns, he wanted to see him lose it. He wanted his downfall. he was confident that after that night he’ll finally put everything to its end.

“This is as far as I can lead you sir” the man stopped in front of the door, bowed and opened it for Namjoon.

There it was the high table. Only 6 men, sitting on each side of the table, making him the last and the seventh member to the meeting. His heart was pounding fast, hands starting to grow cold, shaking uncontrollably. Little sweat beads were forming behind his neck, it’s as if he was drugged and out of wits as well, except his feeling was driven by his own fear.

Just a few second upon entering, he saw Taehyung and Jimin enter first from the front door of the room. He presumed it was an exclusive entryway for Jungkook and his trusted men, in case something bad happens, but nothing bad ever happened when they’re there. Taehyung and Jimin were his only trusted men. They were skilled, precise, ruthless and cold to the core. They would blindly kill anyone and even everyone for Jungkook, even if it cost their lives.

Jimin, narrowed his eyes towards Namjoon while he chew on his bubblegum. Taehyung, on the other hand, watched the other men shake in fear too. All were waiting for the boss himself to enter the room.

The room was white and bare, almost blinding to the eyes. The only color that was present are their ashen faces (except Taehyung and Jimin), their black clothes and the long dark-red oaken wood table and its matching chair. And finally, he was there, all in flesh.

No longer a picture posted on his office walls. No longer a dream, that woke up him up each night in fright. This was Jeon Jungkook. Young, tall, handsome, almost perfect that he can pass up as a god. Well, technically, he is, because he is the kind who plays like one. Because any mistake they omit in his presence can swiftly translate to a painful death.

Everyone rose from their seat to show their respect and fear towards him. Jungkook smiled. Too kind and too sweet, as if he looked innocent. But everyone knew better, he wasn’t the slightest bit of it. When he sat from his chair on the front, everyone followed, except Jimin and Taehyung who stood there to watch over.

Jungkook listened to each person during the meeting, he was attentive, alert and smart. He was the kind of leader that would bring shame to the whole police department, perhaps the whole country. Everything that runs out of his mouth were well-thought, intelligible and thorough. He didn’t leave a single issue unresolved, and the men quickly took note of it. The men were so scared that they just nodded without any further question. Jungkook like things brief, and hated being interrupted. The moment he finds someone that annoys him, Taehyung, a sharp shooter, will place a single bullet straight through their head. Not even letting them finish their first word.

“Actually, I’m sure you are all aware of the situation you are in right now, don’t you? I called everyone for a meeting because some of you are doing a very, very poor job” he grinned at everybody, nose a bit scrunched, like a harmlessly little bunny pouncing sunshine on each person on the table. Yet everyone looked down, nervous and grim. So did Namjoon.

Namjoon wasn’t aware of it. Neither anyone on the team. What was Jungkook thinking? Did he knew? Did Seokjin informed him that they’ll be attempting to take him in? Sh--

“Shit!” one of them men screamed in fear as he tried to ran towards the door, but before he could take another step from his sit, Jimin managed to throw his dagger in his head which passed through his eye and pinned his body down the floor.

“Tsk” Jungkook shook his head in disappointment. “Atleast, we were able to eliminate a coward in this group. Anyone wants to follow?” he raised his eyebrow as he chuckled again. Clearly entertained at the sight of blood.

No one dared to speak, not even a sound of whimper. “Very well, now that no one wants to speak for themselves, I would, for everyone’s behalf. I need to keep my business flowing, and you all are doing a terrible job. Thus, it’s unfortunate to inform everyone in this room that no one will survive today…” Right upon hearing it, Taehyung fired his gun towards 3 other men on his side and Jimin with his daggers flying and pinning the remaining 2 heads to the wall on his side, simultaneously and precise. “Except you, Kim Namjoon.” He blinks slowly and smiled at his direction.

“How does it feel to finally meet your nightmare?” he stood up and went to his direction.

Suddenly, Namjoon heard Hoseok cursing on the other end “Namjoon, it’s a trap! They knew! If you’re still there, run! Quickly! The mole told everything about us!”

“Where’s Y/N?” Namjoon asked Hoseok, but you only heard noises from his end.

“Y/N?” Jungkook asked. “You know I don’t like it when I don’t have someone’s full attention”

“Where is she? My partner! Did you take her? Did you kill her?” Namjoon immediately stood up from his seat, demanding Jungkook for an answer. Jimin swiftly threw his dagger to pin Namjoon’s legs back to his seat while Namjoon cried in shock and pain .

“You know I wouldn’t dare you pissing Jimin any longer Namjoon, unlike Taehyung he doesn’t have much patience. If you try to move again, I swear the next time will be a bullet from Taehyung’s gun and it’s far more painful than Jimin’s knife… and I can’t assure you where he wants to aim it. Sit” he spoke calmly, and strangely alluring yet intimidating.

Hoseok spoke again “The mole is here! Seokji----- scchhhht” Taehyung went to Namjoon side and pulled the ear piece away from him, threw it on the floor and stepped on it.

“Where is she?!” Namjoon demanded, eyes intensely fixated on Jungkook.

Taehyung crouched down and slapped his mouth. “You’re not asked to speak” he took the broken ear piece from the floor and pushed it inside Namjoon’s mouth “You better listen!”

Namjoon gagged a bit and spit the shattered pieces “Enough Taehyung, I bet he’s got it” Jungkook commanded.

“You and Seokjin will pay for what you did to Y/N!” he screamed, his fear already absent upon realizing the possibility of losing you for good.

“Seokjin? Who is he?” Jungkook chuckled. “While, it’s true there’s a mole within you” he sat on the table, just inches away Namjoon. “It’s not Seokjin, whoever he may be, I never met the guy. He sounded like a nice guy” he shrugs, still smiling. “Give you a clue, try to think who is out of reach right now?” he taps his temple.

Namjoon paused. When he realized who it was, his blood rushed up to his head, leaving him cold, nauseated and in pain. “No, it can’t be”

There you were, entering the room from the door in front of everyone inside. Safe and unharmed “Hey love, I miss you so much!” you quickly ran towards Jungkook and jumped to give him a long pressing kiss.

“No… but why?” Namjoon’s eyes started to cloud with his own tears.

“Love, why don’t you tell him?” Jungkook pouted as he turned to face you, and pulled you in closer, letting you sit on his lap.

“Well, I got bored here. I decided I want to play police. That’s why I’m here, but I got bored too, so I decided to come back” you smiled at Namjoon then at Jungkook “to you, love”

Jungkook chuckled, his nose scrunched again in a bunny like manner, as he point his finger against your nose and tapped it “That’s my girl, isn’t she cute when she gets bored?” he asked Namjoon.

“But everything, what we’ve been through, were they all lies?”

You shook your head still smiling “Not everything, no. Well, except everything about Seokjin, and the brothel and Mr.Co…” you rolled your eyes, sluggishly “Didn’t I tell you I’ll make sure everything goes according to plan? I mean, my plan that is…” you shrugged.

“How?” Namjoon’s head fell to his chest, clearly desperate, praying that everything he was hearing from you weren’t true.

“Well for starters, it’s really not hard to fake documents, my background then my history… You’ve seen the opium den earlier didn’t you? The head of National Office Record is pretty much a regular these days, we just gave him a little freebies and then we’re good. But you sir, you were pretty interesting, I really had a great time!” you nodded.

“It was actually me who subtly planted the idea that it was Seokjin, it was me who gave Seokjin information, the exact location and a glimpse of our plan, well without telling him I am part of the group that is” you playfully traced your finger on Jungkook’s neck, letting Namjoon watch while he aches at everything. The reality that was unfolding before him.

“I was the one who curated random stuff as your evidence, made up stories about a non-existent Mr. Co and the Fiery Brothel in Songpa-gu, reserved a seat for you in the meeting and voila! You’re here! Isn’t great, love?” you gave Jungkook a peck on his lips and he nodded.

“Y/N” Namjoon cried

“You know Namjoon? I really like you, that’s pretty much true. But this man right here” you turn to Jungkook and playfully squeezed his cheek “I love him so much, I’m willing to give my life for him. That’s the difference. To be by your side, quite literally and to be by his side, forever, wherever I may be” Jungkook giggled at your declaration for his love.

“Please say it’s a lie! Tell me, you’re being forced by him, just say it. Please, I love you!” Namjoon screamed

“Stop, Namjoon” you watched him in pity. “Didn’t I tell you? We’re just bunch of colleagues…”

“Boss, what are you going to do with him?” Jimin’s eyes remained focused against Namjoon while he pops his gum.

“Love, what do you plan?” Jungkook gazed at you lovingly, while he was fixing your hair.

“He’s where he is supposed to be. A captain who just lost the trust of his superior and his men, just because of a woman. Isn’t it a tragic story, the story of a naïve pawn? This way love, you’ll be able to move freely with your business.” You stared at Jungkook’s lips, resisting to kiss him while he revel at your impregnable intellect.

“As usual, impressive as always” Jungkook nods as he kissed you again. “Let him live, so he’ll be able to tell our tale, a precautionary one to not screw with us”

“Y/N” Namjoon pleaded.

“Namjoon, you were the best Captain really. Thank you for the memories” you smiled.

Then Taehyung swiftly hit Namjoon in the face, leaving him unconscious, but only for a while.

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Namjoon blinked at the sensation of rain drop falling over his face. Next thing he knew, people in scrubs were rushing towards him, raised him up from the pavement outside the hospital and secured his tired body on a stretcher.

“Sir, are you okay? Do you know where you are? Do you remember who left you here?” Namjoon was so oblivious at the moment, that he just tried to pull himself up to see if everything that happened earlier was a dream.

Until something fell from the inside of his coat. He picked it up “The Art of War by Sun Tzu?” he opened a page and saw a little note from you that says

“An enemy of my enemy is my FRIEND :) - Y/N”

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Even when this rain stops, when the clouds go away I stand here, just the same Without saying anything, looking at the world There, a not so beautiful me is looking at myself In this rain In this rain

Rain by BTS

A/N: Thank you for giving time and reaching this far. This is my first attempt in making a smut fic so please be kind >.< This fic is actually my birthday gift for Slyn (SLL-AW Fictions) she’s a writer from YT who pushed me to try doing one too. Her bias is Jungkook so, naturally, the story ended with Y/N falling in the arms of Jungkook.

This is also nod and an attempt to honor one of my all time favorite fanfic, the BEST EVER CREATED on the internet about BTS: “House of Card by Sugamins” (if you know, you know 😉 )

I am so whipped for Master Jeon Jungkook that I just 👁️👄👁️. I didn’t want to recreate the verse, because I just can’t... I could never. House of Card is like a whole level of superiority and I’m just...a nursery...

Although, I borrowed the dark environment and the emotions involved in the characters... but I am totally disclaiming it to be a part of the verse. I’m a huge fan, I’m sorry I’m geeking out 😭 (Sugamins if you ever see this, I love you and thank you!! 😭 huge fan!!)

Slyn’s favorite genre are mafia, action, and romance (specifically with Jungkook). She’s aware of House of Cards too so yeah..

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed “In The Rain” :).

PS. If you haven’t read “House of Card” please do! It’s on a03! Google it! BUT YOU HAVE TO BE 18 and above... and open to like practically everything! Read the warning signs first before you proceed. But I swear, it’s the best out there!!! (you’ll know why it hit a million views once you finished. That fic should be in a book, and I’ll gladly buy several copies!

ALSO, I’m so sorry for making Y/N a villain/psychopath. As well as Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung. Forgive me. It was raining hard one day while listening to Rain on by BTS and the ending scene just came up to my mind and I happen to work on it since... :<

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backtobackbakubabe · 3 years

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Leaving My Love Behind (part1)

Bakugo X Reader

Words : 2199

Masterlist

Reader hasn’t seen Bakugo in almost ten years but when her boyfriend goes missing she all but begs him to help her find him and get him back from a notorious gang leader.

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You had been waiting outside this building for almost six hours now. You had been waiting for a certain blonde-haired asshole. You had to admit you were shocked that he was still working. He had never seemed like the desk job type. But after his most recent rampage he was benched until further notice. It was all over the news, which made it that much easier to find him. You’d wait out here all night if you had to. You just needed to talk to him.

Rain started to come down hard and yet you remained. Your eyelids began to droop and still you waited. Your stubbornness knew no limit… unfortunately your exhaustion did. You leaned against the telephone pole behind you and you hugged your jacket closer around you to fight the chill. Shivers wracked your body, but nothing matched the chill that shot down your spine when you heard a familiar husky voice right behind your ear. “What the fuck do you want?”

You hadn’t even realized he had left the building, let alone crept up behind you. Your tired head turned to look at him. It had been years sense you had seen him in person, and you forgot how haunting those red eyes of his where. You refused to cower in his presence, you wouldn’t let him see how scared you were. “I need your help.”

“Wh-“

“And before you can tell me to fuck off… you owe me one, and we both know it.”

His eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. “I haven’t seen you in almost 10 years. You can’t just show up now and expect me to drop everything to help you! I don’t owe you shit.”

You almost expected him to storm off in a fit of rage, but he just crossed his arms and glared at you. Who was this new Bakugo? He still seemed permanently angry except now he seemed to be a little more… patient? No that couldn’t be right. He didn’t have a patient bone in his body. Yet here he stood, waiting to hear you out.

Your hands balled into fists, “Do I need to remind you of the sacrifices I made back in high school. Do you not remember what I did for you? Have you gotten so-“

His hand gripped your elbow tight enough to leave a bruise, “I fucking…. Remember everything. I’ll ask you one more time. What the fuck do you want?”

You pulled your arm away from him. “I need your help… My boyfriend… Kiyo… he’s gone missing.”

His palms popped, “And? Go to the police, file a report? What the hell do you want me to do about it?”

An angry tear ran down your cheek. “You think I haven’t already done that?! He’s been missing for over a month and it seems like nobody even cares!”

“Tch… how do you know he didn’t just run away? What if he was just bored or something?”

Before you could stop yourself, you reached out and slapped him. “How dare you? You don’t know him. He would never! He was kidnapped by gang leader who goes by Big Shadow.”

Bakugo’s eyes bulged and you now had his attention. Big Shadow? That was the guy he was investigating before he was put on desk duty. “So that’s why you’re here? Look I can’t help you. That guy is almost impossible to find and even harder to get to. I spent the past year trying to lock that ass hat up and the only thing I have to show for it are several new scars and a temporary demotion.”

You slumped to the ground, “What do you expect me to do? I can’t just give up on him?”

To your surprise he crouched down next to you. “This sucks…. I’m not good with… you know…”

“Emotion?”

“Yeah…Want to go get a drink or something?”

Your watery eyes met his he held a hand out to you, “Look I don’t like asking twice. If you want to sit here in the cold rain and die of heart break… or pneumonia. Then whatever. But I need a drink and if you want to come… I wont stop you.”

You wiped the tears from your eyes and let him help you up. This really was a different man then the one you used to know.

You silently followed him to some small local bar down the street. You had never been here before, but then again you didn’t spend a lot of time on this side of town. The rent was too high and the people were too busy.

You took your seat across from him at a somewhat hidden booth in the back. Moments later a waitress came with three fireball shots and placed them in front of Bakugo. “Your usual. Do you want anything to eat this time?”

Bakugo looked at you briefly and then back to the waitress, “Yeah it’s probably going to be a long night. Bring out the appetizer platter and… I guess whatever she wants to drink. Let me guess? You still drinking vodka sprites?”

You almost laughed at the memory of the last time you drank with him as stupid high school punks. “Not for a while, but why not? For old times sake…”

So you drank, and drank some more, and ate all the weird bar food that the waitress continued to bring out. By now you were both on the brink of black out. Doing anything to not feel that empty pit in your stomach. “THAT WAS NOT ME! THAT WAS AAAAALL KIRI’S DOING!” You were going down memory lane from UA. You and Bakugo had been pretty close back then. Well that’s a lie. You hated each other at first. And you didn’t end on a good note either. But the middle… the middle had been nice.

“Oi… dumbass. Use your inside voice…”

“Ooooooh don’t tell me THE BAKUGO is telling ME to UsE mY iNsIdE vOiCe.”

Bakugo smirked, “You wanna know my secret?”

You giggled, “Oooooh secret! Yesssss!”

He moved over to your side of the booth and leaned close to you. Close enough for you to smell his cinnamon shampoo… or maybe it was just all the fireball shots. He turned his head to the side and pulled his hair back to show what looked like a hearing aid. “Tech development team made them for me when I signed with the agency. They’re mostly to protect my ears from more damage. You know because of all of the.” He motioned with his hands and made an explosion noise. “But they also help me hear a little better. Now I don’t have to yell all the time.”

You reached out to touch it, but his hand smacked it away, “Oi look but don’t touch!”

You blushed. “I guess that makes sense. I wonder why no one thought of that before. All this time.. you just couldn’t…. hear.” You started to tear up, your happy mood completely gone.

His eyes grew huge, “No, no, no, no, damnit we came here to avoid the tears. Please stop. Ugh shit!”

You leaned on him and continued to cry. “I’m so sorry Bakugo! For the way things ended between us. It’s all my fault. Just like Kiyo being kidnapped is all my fault. Everything is my fault! I’m the worst!”

He patted the top of your head awkwardly, “Uh… I don’t know what happened with yoyo or whatever but what happened with us wasn’t your fault.” His arm landed on your shoulder when you just kept crying, “And for what it’s worth I don’t think you’re the worst. I mean you’re not exactly on my list of favorite people. But there’s a lot of people worse than you. All for one, Overhaul, Dabi, Deku, murderers, rapists, did I mention Deku?”

You slapped his chest, “His name is Kiyo!”

“Noooo I’m pretty sure it’s Deku.”

You sighed, “No you idiot, my boyfriend. You called him yoyo… his name Kiyo… and he’s missing, and I’m just sitting on my ass getting drunk. I’m useless.” You slammed your fist on the table, “But you know what?! With or without your help I’m going after him!”

Bakugo’s hand mindlessly wandered to the scar hidden beneath his t-shirt, “You’re going to get yourself killed y/n. Please think about this. Have you even kept up with your training? I know you didn’t do the whole hero thing after UA… considering what happened. What are you going to do in a fight? Your quirks not really meant for combat.”

You shrugged, “I don’t care. I’m going to get him back. I’m still in shape. I still got the moves.”

Bakugo groaned, “Okay look. I’ll make you a deal. I will help you look for Keto for exactly two weeks. If we find him great, if we don’t you accept it and let the police handle it.”

You grabbed him by the shirt, “You mean it? You’ll help me?”

He winced at your sudden proximity, but you didn’t seem to notice. “Well yeah. If I don’t, I’ll probably end up seeing your picture on the news and honestly that just sounds like a fucking headache that I’m not prepared for. “

You lunged in for a hug, burying your face in his chest. He again just awkwardly patted your head. “For the love of god, please stop.”

Bakugo paid the bill and walked you out. He had planned on walking you home but when he learned how far it was he almost passed out. “Nope. Nuh uh. You can sleep on my couch. Too drunk for this. Let’s go.” When he realized you were walking too slowly for his liking he bent down and told you to hop on his back. “God you’re lighter than I remember.”

You poked his shoulder, “Well you’re nicer than I remember.”

He shrugged, “Time changes a lot of things y/n.”

You walked in comfortable silence for a while. Well he walked, your drunk ass was being carried. You were about to fall asleep when his stiffened, “Hey y/n can I ask you something?”

“Huh? Yeah whatsup?”

His grip around your legs started to tighten, “Why didn’t you use your quirk on me today? I mean you wanted me to do something I didn’t want to. What kept you from using your quirk to make me do it? All it would have taken was a flash of those eyes and a few words and I would have to do whatever you say.”

You let out a loud sigh, “Well for one. How do you know I didn’t? Maybe I’m just sneakier about it now.” He slapped your leg obviously not satisfied with that answer. “Okay chill. I didn’t! I don’t really use that park of my quirk much anymore. I save that for the bad guys. Which you might not be the nicest guy, but you’re definitely not a bad guy.”

He could tell you were fighting sleep as your breathing started to deepen. “What a pair we are. Not the worst, and not a bad guy.”

He managed to get you into his apartment and on to the couch. He got you a glass of water and a blanket. As he was leaving to head to his own room you grabbed his hand. “Hey. Why two weeks?”

If it wasn’t so dark you say he blushed, “That’s just how long my administrative leave is.” His hand ran through his hair, “Let’s just say I was not made for desk duty…” He gave you a smile which warmed your heart while somehow making you very uncomfortable. “Get some sleep y/n, we start operation get Kilo back bright and early.”

“His name is Kiyo!”

“Yeah whatever, stupid name.”

That night you dreamt of the last time you saw Bakugo. You saw your seventeen-year-old self, covered in blood. You saw a cracked reflection in a mirror with glowing purple eyes looking backing at you. You saw-

“Holy SHIT! What the hell is Y/n doing on our couch! BakuBRO! Did you know she was here?”

You groaned at the sudden yelling and bright light coming in through the window. “Kiri can you please shut the fuck up?”

“Oh yeah that’s y/n all right. Seriously Bakugo did you know she was here?”

Bakugo came over with coffee and eggs and placed them on the table in front of you. “Kiri. If we are the only two people who live here. And you didn’t know she was here, then who the fuck do you think let her in?”

Kirishima looked between the two of you, “Damn after all this time and you even made her breakfast?”

After Kiri left for work and you had finished your coffee you looked to the explosive man who was now looking very domestic in the kitchen doing dishes. “Hey, was I drunk, or did you promise to help me find Kiyo?”

Without stopping with his dishwashing, he shrugged, “Yes you were drunk… but yes I also did promise that. I gave you two weeks starting today. So, I suggest you get your ass in gear if you plan to get your money’s worth.”

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bhna bakugou #mha bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugo x y/n #bakugo imagine #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugo katsuki #mha x reader #my hero academia

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imagine-all-the-imagines · 3 years

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1. Sam Wilson x Reader - Song prompt “Sunflower - Post Malone" for softbiker’s “25 Things” Writing Challenge. Due August 1, 2020.

Warnings: Rough training session, repressed emotions.

I am sooooo sorry I'm almost a year late for this writing challenge.

You woke up to darkness and an empty bed. There was a rustling sound and you rolled to see what was happening. There in the shadows you saw the figure of a man quietly putting on their clothes.

“Sam? You’re going?” You asked quietly and he gave a jump.

“Hey, I wasn’t trying to wake you up, but Steve just sent me the info for an urgent mission.” Sam explained as he finished getting dressed.

You stuck your lip out in a pout, “But it’s late, do you have to leave right now?”

Sam gave a small nod, looking at you softly, “I know I always come and go, but it’s out of my control. You know we can’t schedule when missions come in.”

You nodded back at him, “I know, but I was having a really nice dream,” you laughed, “Just tell Steve I expect to be reimbursed for loss of cuddles.”

Sam leaned over and kissed your forehead, “I’ll be sure to tell him that. Go back to sleep, Sunflower. I’ll be home before you know it.”

You let out a soft hum and looked up at Sam, “You better be. How long are you going to be gone?”

Sam looked at his phone again for a moment, “Looks like it should be a quick one, if everything goes well, two days tops.”

You nodded at the information, “Good. I’ll see you in two days. Don’t be late.”

You pulled Sam down to kiss him again, and he gave a low groan, “Every time I’m leaving on you, you don’t make it easy.”

You gave a giggle and pushed Sam back up, “Go, don’t make Steve mad at me.”

Same gave you another quick kiss and picked up his go bag before heading out the door.

__________________________________________________________

While Sam was gone, you did your best to stay occupied. Going to the gym for training was the best option. You were able to get your frustration out and you were able to keep yourself in fighting condition.

That’s where life found you four days later, sparring with Wanda, and getting absolutely wrecked. Every move you made; she was countering. And you were taking quite the beating, red tendrils of power shooting out and blasting you back. Luckily, the walls were padded, but it still hurt.

You were already frustrated about the mission going longer than expected. Everyday that Sam was gone was a day that you worried about him. And now you were getting thrown around by Wanda, and she was taunting you about it. She knew your mind was preoccupied and she was taking advantage of it.

You finally got your opportunity to strike, and you lunged at Wanda, dagger drawn. She was able to get a shield up on time, but you kept going at her, striking again and again, letting out all that frustration. You didn’t realize how much frustration you had been holding on to until Wanda yielded, and you fell to the ground, overcome with emotions.

You felt comforting arms wrap around you and heard a soft voice, “Don’t worry Wanda, I’m keeping her in check.”

Wanda replied out of breath, “She was all bad-bad, especially after your mission got extended.”

You felt a hand brush through your hair, and you looked up into the comforting eyes of Sam. Sighing, you let your self lean into him before you looked between Wanda and Sam.

“Alright, I’m calling it quits now, Baby, I’m a wreck,” you said as you squeezed Sam’s hand.

Sam nodded at laughed lightly, “You can crash at my place, Baby you’re a wreck.”

You lightly hit his hand, “Hey! Only I’m allowed to say that!”

Sam laughed again and picked you up. Carrying you off to his room.

__________________________________________________________

You and Sam were able to spend the rest of your day together, lounging in his room.

The peace and tranquility was interrupted when your phone went off and you saw the notification from Steve.

Groaning, you opened the mission details, “Baby, I got to go. Mission time.”

Sam helped you off his bed and started getting his stuff together, “I’ll come with you, in case you need backup.”

You smiled at him, “It’s ok, Love, it doesn’t look like it’ll be too hard. And you just got back from a mission, you need to rest up. Plus, Bucky is coming with me. I’ll be ok.”

Sam grimaced when you mentioned Bucky, they still had a bit of a tense relationship. He watched you while you gathered up your go bag and extra supplies. “Be safe, don’t let Bucky use his old man ruse to get you on his side.”

You laughed, “Babe, that won’t happen, you know I only have eyes for you.”

You leaned down to give Sam a kiss before turning to head out the door.

“Wait! You forgot something!” Sam yelled after you.

You paused and turned around, “Every time I’m walking out, I can hear you telling me to turn around. What did I forget this time?”

Sam gave you a coy smile, “You forgot to give me a kiss, the most important thing!”

You rolled your eyes and went over to Sam, leaning over and giving him a deep kiss, “Make sure you miss me.”

Sam grabbed your wrist lightly, “Already do. Now go kick some ass.”

You gave him a nod and hefted the bag back over your shoulder. As you walked out the door, you felt the nerves creep up in you. Missions always got the better of you at first, but as soon as you got on the jet, the nerves melted away, but something about this one was keeping you on your toes.

__________________________________________________________

You had been in the field for 10 days at this point. The good news was that you had a roof over your head, the bad news was that you were supposed to be home a week ago.

Today, you were chasing a Hydra agent through the dense forests of some European country. You were pushing yourself to the limits trying to catch up to this agent. You were so focused on the person ahead of you that you didn’t notice the tree root sticking out of the ground, but your foot made sure to find it.

You felt yourself tumble to the ground and roll forward a few feet. A strong hand grabbed your arms and yanked you back to your feet without missing a beat.

You looked up to see the harsh eyes of Bucky Barnes glaring at you. As if he couldn’t believe you let yourself trip. It lasted a few seconds then he was off again, following the Hydra Agent. You immediately followed and after chasing for a while, you were able to apprehend the agent and collect all the information that they had on them.

__________________________________________________________

You were back in the hotel, resting before packing everything up and heading home, when you heard Bucky enter the rooms with a huff. He was grumbling to himself as he packed, and you were not in the mood to deal with that at all.

“What the hell is your problem Winter Boy?” You asked, looking at him from your spot on the bed.

“Just can’t believe you fucking tripped in the field. Aren’t you supposed to be the graceful one out of the group?” He spit out at you, venom lacing his words.

“Well, actually, I think Nat is the graceful one.” You joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Whatever Y/N, you’re just lucky I was there. You know, you’ll be left in the dust if you keep that up. You’re just lucky that I stuck by ya.” Bucky said, throwing his clothes into his bag.

You rolled your eyes, not letting yourself get sucked into this argument, “We got the job done, that’s what matters. I’ll train more when I get home.”

Bucky gave you a grunt of approval and finished his packing. When you were both packed, you called for the jet and met them at the pickup sight.

As soon as you were on board, you pulled out your sat phone and dialed Sam’s number. He picked up on the second ring.

“Babe? You ok?” He asked.

“I’m fine, just gone longer than I wanted to be, and the Century Man is getting on my nerves.” You explained, trying to ease his concern.

Sam gave a light laugh, “Wish I could be there for you Babe. But you can do it, you’re the Sunflower, if anyone can make it through, it’s you.”

You smiled, “Thank you, that’s all the hope I needed to get through, sometimes I think your love would be too much, and then you do things like this, and I know that could never be a thing.”

Bucky rolls his eyes across from you and holds out his hand, “If you’re done being gross, I’d like to talk to him, update him on what’s happening, you know, proper procedure.”

You stuck your tongue out at him quickly, “Babe, Bucky wants to talk to you. But don’t worry, I’ll see you soon.”

You handed the phone to Bucky and he gives the mission report before informing Sam of the ETA to the compound. You reach your hand out to get the phone back so you can say your goodbyes to Sam. Bucky looks at you and hits the end button on the phone before handing it back to you.

You glared at Bucky before taking the phone. The brief thought of hitting him crossed your mind, but you thought better, knowing that he would never let you live it down if you did.

__________________________________________________________

When you got back to the compound, you immediately went to debriefing and then straight to Sam’s room, flinging yourself onto the bed and curling into him. You both fell asleep quickly in each other’s arms.

This is where Nat found you when she came to invite you down for a family dinner. As she poked her head in, she couldn’t help but smile as she took in the sight.

Nat went back down to dinner and informed the group that you would not be joining and that if anyone went to interrupt the two of you. She personally would the one to, as she said, “Fuck you up.”

Needless to say, no one bothered you two for the rest of the night.

#softbiker #writing challenge #sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson imagines #avengers imagines #avengers imagine

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mogsk · 3 years

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So I watched an anime called “Violet Evergarden” recently, the elevator pitch of which is basically “feral girl is taken in by military man, turned into a child soldier, military man dies, but not before telling her ‘I love you’, but she doesn’t know what that means, so after the war she becomes a ghostwriter with the ostensible aim of figuring out what ‘I love you’ means through other people’s expressions of love via letter-writing.

It’s a good little concept, and while I enjoyed it, it’s also stuck in my brain as being profoundly odd from a storytelling perspective.

Like, the initial premise is v strong, Violet’s driving objective is to understand the last thing she heard her father figure, “The Major”, say to her before she blacked out and woke up with no arms. She was a feral orphan child with little grasp of language or expression, and so she is burdened with not understanding what this very important person to her was trying to convey before they parted ways. Good shit.

And it seems to carry this fairly well at first. Each episode varies in how much it advances the central plot, but each boils down to Violet having to learn a lesson about how people express their feelings for each other, how they express love through words, or how they fail to do so, and so slowly she goes from only being able to produce very precise and terse letters which read more like military reports, to being able to swoop in and fix people’s interpersonal problems with the power of a well-dictated love note.

Where it kinda falls apart for me is about halfway through the series, where we see that Violet has more or less grown into her role as protagonist in an anime about the power of letter writing and the meaning of love (-ish). She’s gotten so good she’s tasked with facilitating one half of a romantic correspondence between the nobles of two nations whose relations are still tense after The War (which Violet fought in), and so have decided to arrange a marriage between their noble children -- a 14-year old girl and a 24-year old man.

Now up to that point, the messaging around the central theme felt odd, but it made sense, like, Violet is growing to understand love, and so how the show does this is by giving her a lot of weird and fraught situations around that theme: we have a woman who is in love with a man, but she wants to play hard to get which Violet ruins by writing a letter that just directly states ‘I have no feelings for you, please stop calling on me’. So then she goes to letter-writing school where one of her classmates has an alcoholic brother who she wants to express her love and thanks towards, but doesn’t know how to pierce the barrier of grief surrounding him due to the death of their parents in The War.

It keeps on like this p consistently, the central question “What is love? What does someone mean when they say ‘I love you’?” is addressed fairly cleanly, but then, once the issue of Violet’s struggle with being able to convey people’s emotions becomes effectively resolved, we kinda start to leave the rails!

Back to the mid-point episode, so, through trying to properly convey this 14yo princess’ feelings, Violet learns what her true feelings are. No, it’s not that she is discontent with being forced to marry a man ten years older than her because, you see, they already secretly met at a royal party when she was, like...10?? And he found her crying and was, like, “Hey kid, you okay?” and that was the first genuine expression of human emotion outside of her dutiful maid she’d ever gotten. You see, what her discontent is is that she knows the man she met, with a heart so simple and pure he feels compelled to comfort a crying child, would never write these letters, and so Violet conspires with the prince’s ghostwriter to allow them to have a more honest correspondence (which is then reprinted in all the newspapers around both countries.)

What got me about this episode is how it, like, throws all these different narrative threads in the air around this central theme of “What is love?” -- the concept of arranged marriage, the idea of confusing appreciating someone’s kindness for having other feelings for them, the MAID who is, like, the princess’ closest friend and confidant, but who has to explain that, once she’s married off, they will have to part ways because she doesn’t serve the princess, she serves the royal family and there’s this great scene where the princess is weeping after she says that and the maid is like “I cannot accept that command, I will continue standing here right by your side” and it’s really intense!

But then...it all gets dropped in the interest of the final note being...yeah sometimes you have to marry a guy in his twenties when you’re just a teenager, but love’s just funny like that ig!

Which sounds ungenerous, and like, I wanted that to be the case, I wanted it to be setting up something, like, “Despite Violet gaining proficiency in letter writing, she still is struggling to understand the more nuanced dimensions of love and so her shortsightedness will come back round to bite her in the ass” (it does not, we even get a montage of all the people she’s helped including the newly married royal couple smiling happily at the camera.)

We then get more episodes like this, where Violet’s done learning about Love and is now in effect teaching it to others. She does this by...sitting and looking pretty with a guy while they wait for a comet to go by, imitating a playwright’s dead daughter so he can be inspired to finish his play, and...writing a bunch of letters on behalf of a mother dying from anime mom disease, but who wants to be able to speak to her daughter as she grows up through a series of pre-written birthday letters.

And, like, in isolation, it’s all very moving! Each story has a very touching emotional drive to it, but it seems like the question of “What does ‘I love you’ mean?” p much falls to the wayside, even after we get the big 3/4s of the way through reveal that the Major is dead and Violet didn’t know! So we’re treated to flashbacks of their relationship, including the moment where he repeats that damning phrase!

But then we really don’t pick it back up again? It kinda superficially grows in relevance as we approach the conclusion, but it’s never again properly addressed until after a sudden spat of military drama breaks out with people trying to reignite The War and Violet suddenly having to put down her typewriter and pick up her combat knife, but now, for some reason, she refuses to kill people because...she isn’t just a tool?

And I think this is what ultimately frustrated me, is that those are two great themes “Discovering what it means to love” and “Can a person conditioned to fulfill a specific purpose ever be free to choose their own path?” but the problem is, the series really has centered itself on the former while kinda sorta implying the latter, but in the final scenes, we are suddenly given a resolution to the latter (which is basically Metal Gear Solid, “You are not your DNA”, “Just live Snake” that’s been done beautifully and with more thought already by, well, Metal Gear Solid) whereas the former, what was the entire driving force behind Violet’s character development is kinda sorta hand-waved off as “What is love? I still don’t think I know, but maybe that’s just how it is!” which is fucked up coming from someone who by the midway point is basically counselling or facilitating love between people!

So, like, I enjoyed it a lot, there were some great moments and the supporting cast, while mostly one-dimensional save for Violet herself, made for at least nice scenery, but I’m just so blown away by how they seemed to manage to forget (or ceased wanting) to tell the story they laid out in the beginning in favor of some p uniform military drama that suffered precisely because most of the series was dedicated to developing the central theme that it ultimately seemed to abandon, or perhaps came across as being burdened with having to carry into the conclusion.

Also it was super fixated on dads, like, The Major is basically Violet’s dad, his best buddy who goes on to hire Violet as a ghostwriter has a big reveal in the end that he’s been writing letters to his hypothetical future child, the sad dad playwright with the dead daughter -- I dunno what to do with all this besides the usual base level of suspicion I have for all dead-heavy content, but yeah!

There’s two movies, a side story from mid-way through the series and a sequel, and I feel like I almost have to watch them at some point, just so I can tie a neater bow on how I experienced this whole story, but yeah, Violet Evergarden, come for the cool metal typing hands, stay for the heartfelt explorations of what it means to love people, shift nervously in your seat when dads suddenly become involved!

#spoilers

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finleyfray · 3 years

Text

Black Lungs

aka I watch too much Chicago Fire

Tw: angst, death, swear words

It was late in the evening and Finley was sitting on her bed. She was halfway through her shift and so far there have been no accidents. Luckily for her she could just relax.

Fin looks at her phone and sees a text from her girlfriend Alex in their group chat.

‘Done with my shift, can I come to the fire-station? Mags, will you come too? I wanted to ask you something.’ – Alex

‘Yea, babe, you can come to the depot. What do you want to talk about? It Makes me anxious.’ – Fin

‘Okay, I’ll be there in 10 mins.’ – Mags

‘Promise it’s nothing bad! Don’t worry!’ – Alex

Finley pouted thinking about what Alex wanted to ask them. They’ve been together for 4 months now. It was hard to find time to meet with her being a firefighter working 12 hours shifts, Alex being a doctor and Maggie being a detective.

There were times when they would be chilling watching some movie and Alex would be called in to perform a surgery. Or there was a large fire and needed more units and Fin being a lieutenant had to gather her unit and go help.

There was a knock on the door and Finley smiled as she saw her girlfriends. She went to the door and opened it for them.

“Hi.” She greeted her girlfriend and let them in. She quickly embraced them both in a hug and led them to sit on her bed.

“Hey.” Maggie smiled. “So, Alex, what’s up?” They both looked at their redhead girlfriend.

“My mom’s in town with her man J’onn, and they’re staying with Sam and Ruby and Sam wanted to do a family meeting so they invited me, Maggie, Kara and Lena and their kids too. So they know I’m officially with Maggie but I thought maybe it would be a good time…” Alex hesitated.

“No.” Finley cut her off.

“Why?” the redhead looked at her in disbelief.

“I think that it’s a good idea.” The raven haired woman looked at them fidgeting with her fingers. Finley always got defensive when they were talking about coming out to Alex’s family. It always ended with an argument between them.

“If you think that’s a good idea you can go with Alex and see them. I am not ready to do that.” The black haired woman growled and stood up from her bed.

“You always do that! Every time I mention...”

“Exactly! Because we do this almost every fucking week. I want you to meet my sister! I want you to meet my sister in law! My niece and my nephew! There’s a reason I keep saying no. You might not see the pressure, but let me sum it up for you! Your mother aka bioengineer, her boyfriend the head of FBI, your sister Sam, aka the lawyer, your other sister Kara, who is the second best reporter in the entire city, her wife, CEO of the biggest company in the entire city...”

“I don’t see where you’re going.” Alex interrupted her.

“When we break up, I’ll have to move to the fucking Alaska, cause my life here will be destroyed!”

“Finley!” Maggie growled at her. “What’s this nonsense!?”

“So you don’t want to meet my family because if we break up they're going to, what, bully you!? That’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard! When we break up!? What are you already planning to? This is a joke!” By now Alex was shouting angrily.

“I mean IF.”

“Yes, sure, you meant IF. That’s bullshit and you know it. We might as well...” There was a loud alarm and Finley sprang to the door.

“We’ll do it later, there’s a fire alarm.”

The firefighter dressed up quickly in her uniform and they drove to the place. Their chief was already there giving out orders.

The fire came out from the huge garage and it was spreading fast. On the street stood a woman holding a 3 years old boy in her hands. Finley went to her.

“We woke up to the fire alarm, so I grabbed Liam and ran while my wife, Kara went out to get Kim, she was in another room. Now they aren’t out yet!” She spoke fast, panicking. “Please go get them!”

“Don’t worry madam, we’ll get them out.” The firefighter said calmly and she led her team to the house.

“You go get the woman, I'll get the kid. When we go, open the roof and start putting out the fire.”

“Got it lieutenant!” her team went inside and she followed. Going upstairs she heard a crying kid. She kicked the door, and searched for the girl.

“Hey kid, I’m here to help you, can you tell me where you are?” The child said nothing, but out of instinct Finley looked under the bed. “Come on, your mommy is waiting outside.” The girl began coughing and Finley cursed mentally. She helped the kid out under the bed and took off her mask putting it on the kid to help her breathe. “I want you to breathe easy, in and out.” The firefighter instructed the kid and the blue eyed girl looked at her following her orders. “We’re going out of here.” Finley took the kid and they began going outside. “I’ve got you kid, I’ve got you." Just as they went downstairs, the wooden stairs shook and broke under them. Fin hugged the kid close as she fell on the ground losing her breath for a minute. She heard her “firefighter down" alarm going on.

“You good?” she grasped looking at the blonde girl.

“I want mommy...” Girl cried.

“I know baby girl, I know...” Finley tried to move but she couldn’t. Her body hurt and she wanted to close her eyes. The firefighter coughed feeling her lungs hurt. There was too much smoke. She really needed the rescue squad.

The black-haired woman looked around her. There it was, the clear escape route for the kid. By now, every second matters, the building won’t hold on for very long.

“Hey kid? The door is not so far away, you think you could run there for me? Your mommy is right behind them waiting for you.”

“I’m scared...” the girl looked at her terrified.

“I know baby girl, but you can do it! You’re a big girl, and your mommy needs you to be brave.” Finley tried to smile to encourage the kid.

“What about you?”

“I’ll follow you right after.”

The girl stood up and began running for the door.

“See you in a minute...” Finley whispered as she closed her eyes.

***

Alex ran to hug her sister.

“Kara, what happened?” She asked, worrying, looking at her sister. “You okay? Where’s Kim?”

“We were sleeping when the alarm went off, and Liam slept with us so I went to go get her but there was fire everywhere, and next thing I know firefighters are leading me out. They said another one of them will go get Kim. But they aren’t out yet Alex!”

“It’s okay, they’ll get her out.” The redhead hugged her sister and looked around.

Maggie was standing next to a tall man who had jacked on with ‘Chief' written on it. Alex led Kara to Lena and went in their direction. Just as she was walking a man ran past her and began speaking.

“Chief, we need to send the rescue squad in!”

“No. The building is old, if someone goes in, it will collapse.”

“I’ll go in, just let me! I’ll get Finley and the kid!” The man yelled, becoming more frustrated.

“No one goes in, that’s an order Jay! They’ll go out. ”

The redhead went to Maggie.

“This is terrifying. I’m scared.” She whispered.

“I know, me too” The raven-haired woman hugged her as they looked at the building with worried expressions.

They watched the front door for what seemed like hours, but it’s only been a minute. They heard an alarm going on inside and the man called Jay put on his mask. “I’m going in!” but they all froze when they saw some small figure running out of the house. Kara rushed to pick up her baby, she quickly grabbed her and took off her breathing mask. The girl cried and Alex felt relieved. Her niece was safe.

Jay didn’t even reach the front door when the building shuddered and they saw the floor collapsing. Everyone stopped breathing for a minute just looking there, not believing their eyes.

“Finley!” Alex cried and collapsed in Maggie’s arms.

#sanvers x oc #maggie sawyer x oc #alex danvers x maggie sawyer #alex danvers x oc #Alex Danvers x Original Character #Maggie Sawyer x Original Character

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bitterlikesweets · 3 years

Text

Love Bites Ch 19

This is the nineteenth chapter of a modern/vampire AU ereri fanfic. You can also read it on Ao3. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Special | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19

Next

It would be a stretch to say that Eren and his older brother ever got along well. Zeke hated him. He had since the day they met.

"Met." Because Eren didn't know Zeke existed until he was ten years old.

When Eren was a little kid, he didn't know anything. His parents were the epitome of being in love. Every time they were together, his father would shower his mother in kind words and affection. He always made her smile. He would even bring her gifts every time he came back from his monthly family reunions.

His dad never got Eren anything, but that was okay. As long as he got stuff for Eren’s mom. As long as his parents loved each other, Eren didn’t mind. That was enough. Because it made his mom smile. And Eren’s mom loved Eren no matter what. Eren loved her no matter what, too.

She loved Eren more than usual during his dad’s family reunions.

When Eren asked his father why he never brought Eren and his mother along, Grisha Jaeger just said it wasn't time yet.

They never really explained to Eren how it all happened. Why things with Grisha's first family didn't work out. Zeke just showed up one day, Grisha's hand on his shoulder as they stood in the doorway.

"Eren, this is your older brother. His mom's very busy, so he'll be staying with us over the weekend."

It took Eren awhile to wrap his head around it. How was it possible for Zeke to be Eren's brother but have a different mom? Why was Zeke not living with them?

Why did they look so different?

Eren's mom was very patient. She explained about falling in love. About falling out of it. And how sometimes people are left behind when that happens. She told Eren he could still believe in love. That sometimes it ends, but a new one could start in its place.

"I might not be his first love," his mother said, "but I am his favorite."

His favorite? Eren believed that for a little bit. But he always wondered why his dad kept going back to visit his first love if that was really the case. It wasn't to visit Zeke. Sometimes their dad would still go to see Zeke's mom, even if Zeke was staying with them, babysitting Eren.

"If it wasn't for you," Zeke always used to say, "he would still be with us. He would be my dad, not yours."

Why? Why was it Eren's fault?

When did his parents start arguing in the middle of the night?

Zeke started getting nicer to Eren eventually. When Eren was thirteen and Zeke was sixteen, Zeke started to be almost kind. Saying that it wasn't Eren's fault after all. They just needed time, and everything would work itself out.

Turns out, everything "working out" meant Grisha going back to his first love. Which meant Carla Jaeger was not his favorite, after all.

It made more sense to Eren that love just didn't exist. Romantic love was stupid and fake and wasn't real.

His mom finally agreed with him when Grisha moved out.

When Eren was fifteen, he saw his brother for the last time. He dropped Eren off at his house after school and told Eren he wasn't going to come back anymore. That Zeke no longer had to pretend they were really family.

Eren and his mother got the news a few months later. Somebody broke into the Jaeger household—the other Jaeger household—and now everyone in that other family was dead. The police told them it was a burglary.

That's what they said about Eren's mom too, in the official reports. A burglary; a mother dead, and a son injured, but otherwise fine.

Eren should've realized it then. A burglary with nothing stolen. A report he'd already heard once before. He should've recognized the similarities.

But he didn't connect the dots because things were different then, with his dad. When it happened to Eren and his mother, it wrecked him. It still wrecks him now. It didn't feel real at all. And now he misses her so, so much.

When Eren was fifteen, finding out that his father and older brother were gone for good, he doesn't remember feeling wrecked or sad or missing them.

He doesn't remember feeling anything at all.

Seven years later, knowing who killed them, Eren feels…

Eren feels exactly the same.

Maybe he's been a little monstrous since way back then.

~ ~ ~

Eren wakes up to moonlight, rain, and the smell of smoke. He blinks up at the unfamiliar gray ceiling, unconsciously fiddling with the fleece blanket loosely draped over his body. He's too big for it; it's pulled up to his chest and his ankles stick out the bottom. It's strange though; he remembers dropping onto the couch with nothing but his sweater as a makeshift blanket. The curtains too. He swears that he closed those last night, and hey—Eren can hear rain, so why is everything so dry outside?

Eren sits up slowly, his eyes scanning the room with narrowed eyes. There are a few more things different from how Eren remembers them. The wooden knives and stakes he remembers putting in front of Levi’s small closet are nowhere to be seen, and there’s a light on in the kitchen. The rain sounds seem to be coming from there too.

When Eren gets up to investigate, he finds Levi sitting at the kitchen counter, a mug in his hands as he stares blankly down at his steaming drink. There’s a candle in front of him, and a little speaker by the wall at the edge of the counter.

Eren knocks on the wall, and Levi looks up, his gray eyes brighter than before, a bit more alert.

“Good night,” Eren says with a nod.

The corners of Levi’s quirk up for a moment.

“Good night,” Levi says, moving his mug up to his lips.

“It looks like I turned you nocturnal,” Eren says, pulling up one of the tall chairs beside Levi’s.

The smell of smoke seems to be coming from the gray candle in front of Levi—its label says “Fireside”—and when a single tap of Levi’s finger against the speaker causes the rain to stop, all of Eren’s questions are answered.

...All of his more trivial questions, anyway.

“I should make a midnight shift at the Kitchen just for you as revenge,” Levi says.

“Hmm…” Eren drops his chin into his hand, stroking an imaginary beard with his fingers. “Doesn’t sound like too bad of a deal, honestly. How much do you pay?”

Levi scoffs instead of answering, and Eren smiles, moving his chair closer so that he can bump shoulders with Levi. Levi leans against him in response.

“Thanks,” Levi says quietly. “For yesterday.”

Eren’s smile softens, and he presses his face into Levi’s shoulder.

“Anytime.”

“I…” Levi clears his throat. “I was pretty out of it. If I had known that you—”

Levi clears his throat again.

“You didn’t have to sleep on the couch,” Levi says, his ears getting a pink tint. “If I had known you were staying over, I’d have told you so.”

Eren’s face burns. He’s immensely grateful that his head is tucked against the fabric of Levi’s shirt and out of sight.

“O-oh. I, uh—Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind, f-for next time.”

“Yeah,” Levi mumbles. He’s leaning more heavily onto Eren, though his head is turned away. “Good.”

And then things are quiet for a moment. Eren absentmindedly shifts his face from Levi’s shoulder to Levi’s neck, a deep sort of relaxation pooling in his chest and shoulders when he does. Something about it sets him at ease, even despite the slight throb in his fangs that comes from his close proximity to Levi’s veins.

Though his bite scars do start to itch a bit. Again.

“Eren,” Levi says.

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been… thinking about some of things you said yesterday.”

An image of his blond brother’s face flashes through Eren’s mind, and he stiffens. One of Levi’s hands immediately finds its way to Eren’s back, resting hesitantly there.

“We don’t have to talk about it though,” Levi says. “If you’re burnt out.”

“No,” Eren says quickly, raising his head out of the crook of Levi’s neck and pulling away slightly. “No, that’s, uh… We can talk about it.”

Should Eren tell him? He really doesn’t want to tell him. It’s probably hard enough on Levi with that family as strangers with no other connection to him. If he finds out that that man was Eren’s dad—that the Feral King is Eren’s brother—

“Alright,” Levi says, though he sends a confused frown Eren’s way. “Just tell me if it’s too much.”

“I will.”

It’s not like it changes much for Eren either way anyway. They’ve been dead for seven years already—he thought they all were anyway—and he was never angry at that anonymous killer. His mom was devastated, and that made him sad, but…

Shit, it’s fucked up that he didn’t care, isn’t it? He was fifteen, and on TV, people were always telling their parents to go die, so, at the time, he thought it was just one of those “hormonal teenager things” that every adult in his life was always going on about. It wasn’t like he was relieved or happy when they died! He was just… indifferent.

...Maybe he should’ve taken his mom’s offer when she told him she’d take him to see a therapist if he needed one.

“That thing you said,” Levi says, though Eren’s only half-listening, “about people changing. About how not everyone does. I think that… helped a lot. For a while, I didn’t think I…”

Eren tries to redirect his brain. It’s far too late to be over analyzing his teenage brain. He thought his dad and his brother were dicks, and he never knew Zeke’s mom, so he didn’t give a fuck when they died. Is that awful? Probably. But that’s not the thing Eren’s worried about right now.

Should he tell Levi? Now that he’s thinking about it, it might be worse to keep it from Levi. If they go and try to kill those vampires who turned Eren, they’ll probably run into Zeke. Zeke will probably recognize Eren, and springing that whole “yeah, this asshole is my brother” thing onto Levi in the middle of a life or death situation is a terrible fucking idea. So, Eren definitely has to tell him. Should he tell him right now? How is he even going to explain—

“...Eren.”

Eren blinks, green eyes wide as he looks over at Levi. Levi just sighs, setting his mug down on the counter.

“I told you we didn’t need to talk about it.”

“No, no,” Eren says quickly. “That’s my bad. I don’t mind talking about it. I just… Have a lot in my head right now.”

Levi’s expression softens a little, and he reaches up to rest his hand against Eren’s cheek, the tips of his fingers settling in his long brown hair.

“We’re a fucking mess,” Levi says.

Eren can’t hold back a laugh, covering Levi’s hand with his own.

“Good thing you like cleaning,” Eren teases, and Levi rolls his eyes.

A pale thumb gently sweeps back and forth across Eren’s cheek, and Eren leans into the touch, his mind clearing a bit. His thoughts are no longer quite so fast, so frantic. It’s a bit easier not to focus on them with Levi there as a physical distraction, pulling Eren out of his own head a bit.

“What’s in there?” Levi said, shifting his hand to knock his knuckles against the side of Eren’s head. “I’ll help clean it up.”

Eren’s smile wavers, his gaze lowering.

“It might make your own head messy again.”

“That’s fine.”

Eren takes a deep breath.

“Furlan… Yesterday, when I called him, he told me the name of the Feral King.”

Levi nods.

“Zeke.”

“Zeke Jaeger,” Eren says.

Levi frowns slightly but nods again.

“I’ve… never told you my full name,” Eren says. “It’s Eren Jaeger.”

Levi’s eyes grow wide, his hand falling away from Eren’s face, but Eren hurries to grab hold of that pale hand before it can fully retreat.

“Eren—”

“Just wait,” Eren says. “Please. Let me explain.”

Levi scowls, but he keeps his lips pressed shut, even as his hand fidgets in Eren’s grasp.

“He’s my brother,” Eren says. “My older brother.”

“But I—” Levi clutches his head with his free hand. “Your… your mother—”

“No,” Eren says quickly, leaning towards Levi. “No, Levi. Not my mom. Zeke’s my half brother. We only share a dad. My mom was killed by ferals, just like I’ve always said.”

“You—” Levi shakes his head. “You talked with Furlan—You’ve known this since yesterday—why are you still here?”

“Levi, that doesn’t change anything for me—”

“Why the fuck not?” Levi snaps, yanking his hand out of Eren’s grip. “Eren, I—I killed your family!”

“Levi, no—”

Eren tries to reach for Levi’s hands again, but Levi abruptly moves them out of reach, his chest heaving.

“Don’t.”

Levi tries to wipe off his hands, his black eyebrows pulled downward into a deep scowl. Eren clenches his hands into fists, struggling to get air into his lungs.

Levi’s angry—not at him. Eren has to fix this. Levi’s hands—where are the paper towels? If he turns away, will Levi run? Does Levi even want his help? He wants to touch Levi. Levi doesn’t want that. He needs to finish explaining. He doesn’t want to go into detail about that time. Zeke, his dad—they’re haunting him like unruly fucking ghosts. He didn’t want to make Levi spiral again—He feels fucking sick, like his stomach is boiling—

“I don’t get you,” Levi snaps. “Why—knowing what I did—did to you—why are you still here?”

“Because I love you—”

“Why? Why are you siding with me over them?”

“Because they never fucking did!” Eren exclaims. “Always—it was always only my mom, just my mom—my dad never—Zeke never—”

Eren’s eyes are burning. His throat aches. He hates this. He doesn’t want to yell at Levi. He’s not yelling because of Levi. It’s because of his fucking dad, because of Zeke, because of those bastards that he was finally able to not think about after all these years—

“Why would I choose them over you?” Eren’s hands are clenched into tight fists. He feels a sharp pain in his palms and ignores it. “They never loved me. You do.”

Eren looks over at Levi, who’s staring at him, practically frozen.

“...Don’t you?”

Levi’s mouth opens and closes without words for a moment before he manages two words in a quiet, hoarse voice.

“I do.”

Eren’s eyes are still burning, aching. When his eyesight blurs, he wipes at his wet eyes. Pale hands are retreating from him when his sight is clear again—Levi reached out to him but is already pulling back. Frustration burns in the pit of Eren’s chest, and he’s reaching out before he can think better of it.

“For fuck’s—I don’t care, Levi, just get it on me,” Eren snaps, grasping Levi’s hands and covering them with his own. “It’s not like it’s going to fuck me up even more—I’m already—”

Eren goes stiff when he catches a glimpse of Levi’s face. It’s flat, masked, emotionless. Whatever anger that was in him cools immediately, and Eren quickly releases Levi’s hands, internally cursing himself for his insensitive, stupid mistake. Has he learned nothing from everything that happened yesterday? This is it. He’s fucked up absolutely everything—

“You…”

Levi’s eyes are on Eren’s hands.

“You don’t make any sense,” Levi says.

“I… I’m sorry.”

“You really… don’t care?”

Eren winces, his gaze dropping to his lap.

“That’s not what I—it was a bad choice of words—”

“It doesn’t change how you feel about me?” Levi asks, his voice a little louder, more insistent.

“N-no,” Eren says. “It doesn’t.”

“Even though it’s your brother.”

“My brother’s a murderer.”

“So am I,” Levi says, shifting his gaze from Eren’s hands to Eren’s eyes.

“Yeah, and I will be too, soon,” Eren says. “But I love you and my brother runs a murder cult that lead to the death of my mom.”

Levi stays silent, and Eren bites his lip.

“...Does it change things for you?” Eren asks. “The fact that I’m not bothered by it?”

“No,” Levi says immediately. “I just… don’t… It’s hard to believe. For me.”

“That I don’t care about my brother?”

“That you love me,” Levi says. “Because when I did that, I… I still don’t… Trust myself.”

Eren’s shoulders lower slightly, his expression softening.

“Do you want me to prove it?”

Levi frowns.

“...Can you?”

Eren holds out his hand. Levi just continues frowning at him.

“What do you see?” Eren asks. “When you have to clean your hands off like that?”

Levi’s mouth opens and shuts once before he answers.

“Blood.”

Eren's breath stutters a bit. He'd been wondering about that...

Slowly, he reaches out to grab Levi’s hand again, pulling it closer until Levi has to lean forward. Eren keeps pulling until Levi’s hand is flat against his chest, right over where his dead heart lies beneath the surface.

“Levi,” Eren says, smiling slightly in spite of everything, “I’m a vampire.”

He slowly raises Levi’s hand higher, pressing his lips against Levi’s knuckles.

“It’ll take more than a little blood to scare me away.”

“That…”

Levi lets out a deep sigh, getting out of his seat.

“That’s the cheesiest fucking shit you could’ve said.”

Eren’s face grows hot at the unexpected insult, and he drops Levi’s hand, unable to make anything more than incoherent noises of offense in his current headspace. By the time Levi has stepped closer, all Eren can manage is—

“Wha—I’m out here trying to prove my love to you, and that’s what you—”

Eren is interrupted by Levi dropping his entire body onto Eren, and Eren wraps his arms around the man’s back to stop them both from falling off of the chair.

“Levi?”

“Sorry,” Levi says. “It’s… habit.”

“You need to work on that,” Eren grumbles, burying his face into Levi’s neck again, the action immediately setting himself at ease. “One of these days I’m seriously going to get offended.”

Levi nods, still leaning heavily on Eren and showing no sign of trying to hold up his own weight.

“I hope…” Levi says quietly. “...Nothing’s able to scare you away.”

Eren smiles, holding Levi tighter.

“Nothing will,” Eren says. “I promise.”

Not the blood on Levi's hands, not Eren's dad, not the Feral King. Nothing's going to scare Eren away. He's certain of that now.

Levi sighs, and Eren’s fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt.

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Is anything going to scare you away?”

Levi scoffs, pulling back just enough to look Eren in the eye.

“You’re going to wish something could.”

Eren grins, leaning in to press his lips against Levi’s.

“No, Levi, I don’t think I will.”

#ereri riren #ereri #riren #ereri fanfic #riren fanfic #fanfiction #sorry this is late i forgot which day of the week it was haha

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hellsprite · 3 years

Text

hi, I’ve had some wine, it’s 2am and I’m rewatching Phil’s Moving Out - Keep it or Yeet It video. Is this my favorite Phil video ever? Maybe! I laughed throughout this vid in a real way - not just like a hehe funnie :p but real, serious laughter. Here’s some notes.

WE’re MOVING

Phil ‘discovering’ the basket of seemingly random but perfect for a video items is so dumb but at least he’s like “I knew it was there!!!!!!” love this growth

Like a shameful………… lover

god i love phil

Vibrating Sloth, Put It On Your Back Like A Sloth Friend

Naked Man Apron — countdown to Phil saying 9-pack oh he said it

Koala souvenir pic, historic!

Spon Break

Okay we’re back, what’s next? OH. It’s THESE. It’s….. Like……. A Million….. photo booth photos……………………………………………. of me and Dan :)

Okay so this part where Phil acknowledges Dan’s sexiness is so cathartic like… YEAH!!! We know! You Know! Phil, you really know. And a line was crossed and we’re here now. Phil casually and jokingly mentioning that his bf is hot is something we have not seen outside of dailybooths and formsprings so uhhh yeah, I guess you could say I’m pretty happy.

god phil is also hot, btw

mad at these pajamas very mad, ew

Phil and Katya interact tiny hands challenge — i’m manifesting

Mysterious Hard Drive - Love this, can’t wait to see more

2 videos 1 picture

Okay

He’s concerned

OKAY

Okay listen, Phil really seems confused about what this video is, even after he sees Dan in the mirror, his face is still like scrunchy and puzzled but he also keeps filming and keeps talking like he absolutely knows there is nothing shady happening, because please. But I think he’s also like ‘but where am I if Dan’s there?’

And then he sees himself and he figures it out and hey, remember how Phil is really not a good actor? This ain’t acting. But it is very cute, A+ narrating and mystery solving.

I laughed so hard at that fucking styrofoam chair because i KNOW this is something they have mentioned in passing but like it’s not something that I think about on the regular so I can’t tell you when or where I heard them talk about it but anyway. When I saw it I was like, “OH THAT CHAIR HAAHAHAHA” like I was in on the joke. Love this.

omfg

person juice

FUCK that’s so god damn funny and dark person juice are you kiddin me

p.s. did I just google the word juice to make sure i was spelling it correctly because i looked at it too long? yes!

Chopsticks from the CHOPstick Challenge, another favorite video of mine.

Fan Edition CAH: oh we’re starting out with a gaping something ;). Pete Wentz and Harry Styles. Meaty Legs. The End!

I am dying over that crystal looking exactly like a lil chicken breast. I never noticed in videos and never read comments so this was news to me and the reports were TRUE AND WELL-RESEARCHED.

Okay. First of all, I need to know how old Phil was when he bought this gelly foot bath for his own MOTHER. Because I think it was probably only a year ago. Second of all, Queen Kath was like ‘...uhhhhhhhhh yeah no, thanks though’ which is absolutely correct.

I am laughing so hard at this foot bath, how silly!

Remember going on holiday????

Dan and Phil play suck and blow

Dan acting like there’s anyone else on earth in normal times, let alone during a pandemic.

“If you’re using the spa with a friend, why not ask them to pamper…..” Dan’s not having it, and I get that

Pause for maybe the only real ASMR moment Phil or Dan has ever inserted into their videos - not my thing particularly, but I appreciate the focus on the squishy sounds without the added and overdone harsh whisper mocking ASMR — hi, I’m hellsprite and I’m here to talk to you today about the dangers of ridiculing healthy and harmless coping mechanisms. In this essay I will —

Phil is having so much fun

Dan saying this is the most upsetting thing he has done or seen this year is a lie because he did see Phil in those fake beards and I for one have not forgiven that.

Blurred feet, unblurred feet — blurred feet sexier hehehehehe

Phil found his groove, and also just figured out what toenail clipper looks like????? WAIT

Does Phil not automatically know what a toenail clipper looks like? WHY Would he say, “I thought it was a hair clipper tee hee *giggle*” WHATTTT I am very confused by this. I could blindfold myself, touch a pair of shears in one hand an a toenail clipper in the other and know exactly which was which without hesitation. I’m mad again.

“WHY DID YOU BUY IT!!!!” — Dan, asking the real questions. Kath co-signs.

Okay we’re going around the apartment now and keeping or yeeting……… plants, basically.

Oh wait it’s not just plants, I’m so cynical!!! Bye & Sign! Bye red puzzle (?) mirror! Bye Hulk! Bye Iron Man!

Their peace lily does look glossy and perky and lovely.

Bye yoga ball!

Bye Entire Room of Boxes??? Do you know how much money I would pay to see inside of those boxes??????????????????? Like 10 bucks max!!! ugh

Quick reminder in the outro that Phil is very cute!!

#phan #i loved this video i laughed and laughed

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goldenraeofsun · 4 years

Text

‘cause right now you're mine

set in this verse

THURSDAY, APRIL 2nd

Dean 12:01 You didn’t tell me you led Carver Prep’s quiz bowl team???

Castiel 12:15 It’s in the middle of the school day and you’re texting. What kind of example are you setting for your students?

Castiel 12:16 I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t relevant.

Dean 12:17 Haha smartass I’m having lunch in my office Youre texting me back so i see right through you And of course it’s freaking relevant

Castiel 12:20 How?

Dean 12:21 Because I got tapped to coach Edlund High's quiz bowl team this morning!

Castiel 12:21 Oh no.

Dean 12:30 Oh no is right buddy

Castiel 12:37 I thought you coached the softball team.

Dean 12:37 I can do both You’re dating a very talented man

Castiel 12:49 I know that. I just didn’t know it extended to quiz bowls and softball in addition to blow jobs and breaking and entering places to give blow jobs.

Dean 12:52 What the fuck is wrong with you I’m in school! My lunch hour is almost over I’ll have to get up from my desk very soon This is all your fault

Castiel 12:59 :)

Dean 1:00 Just for that No blow jobs for you tonight

Castiel 1:07 :(

MONDAY, APRIL 6th

Dean 11:55 I bet I can grade more midterms than you today

Castiel 11:58 I know better than to make bets with you, Dean Winchester.

Dean 12:03 It was just a kiss I bet you’re just pissed you lost

Castiel 12:04 I can’t engage in PDA in front of my niece and one of my students at a school event!

Dean 12:04 Youre such a prude

Castiel 12:06 Unlike some teachers, I maintain boundaries between my personal and professional life.

Dean 12:07 Prude.

Castiel 12:09 Did you text me on a Monday afternoon just to harass me about my reluctance to kiss my boyfriend in front of minors?

Dean 12:11 Huh Boyfriend

Castiel 12:20 Dean?

Dean 12:21 What?

Castiel 12:22 Is everything okay?

Dean 12:23 Other than *my boyfriend* refusing to even entertain the idea of a friendly wager?

Castiel 12:23 Yes, other than that.

Dean 12:23 No

Castiel 12:25 That’s good. You scared me for a second.

Dean 12:26 I did?

Castiel 12:26 Are you okay with being my boyfriend? The long gap between our messages made me realize we haven’t talked about it before.

Dean 12:27 I mean it’s a little weird My 16 year old students have boyfriends “boyfriend” seems a little I don’t know Juvenile We’re not 16 anymore, Cas Thank god.

Castiel 12:30 Would you prefer “partner”?

Castiel 12:31 It’s just whenever I hear someone call their significant other “partner” I can never tell if they are talking about their life partner, same-sex partner, police partner, or if they are cowboys. That was a joke! Ignore this. I remember how much you like Westerns. “Partners” is off the table.

Dean 12:31 HOWDY YALL THIS IS MY PARTNER CAS

Castiel 12:31 Please never introduce me to someone like this.

Dean 12:32 Only if you watch Tombstone with me tonight

Castiel 12:33 Can I still grade my midterms?

Dean 12:35 You’re killing me here Cas Yes

Castiel 12:40 I’m your huckleberry

SUNDAY, APRIL 12th

Castiel 2:19 Good luck with the softball game today!

Dean 2:21 You’d better make it up for me for missing this one Its the semifinals

Castiel 2:22 I will. Say “hi” to Claire for me.

Dean 2:27 What the hell? Why is she here? We’re not even playing Carver

Castiel 2:29 She has a crush on Kaia Nieves

Dean 2:30 Ohhhhh That explains a lot

Castiel 2:30 She thinks she’s being subtle.

Dean 2:37 I see that runs in the family Subtle as a brick wall. All of you.

Castiel 2:38 Excuse me, you had no idea about my feelings for you back in high school.

Dean 2:49 So? Charlie said you were obvious as fuck But it didn’t matter since I was a dumbass

Castiel 2:50 I prefer oblivious Less dumb Less ass

Dean 2:57 How dare you My ass is a goddamn gift. You take that back right now

Castiel 2:59 Of course. Don’t you have a game to coach?

Dean 3:01 Shit you’re right

TUESDAY, APRIL 14th

Castiel 11:18 I know how I can make up for missing that last softball game last weekend

Dean 12:01 Sorry The kids called me out for texting you 5 mins before the bell last time How the hell did i get stuck with a class full of narcs

Castiel 12:03 It’s probably karma For all the rule breaking you did in school

Dean 12:05 Hey I wasn’t that bad

Castiel 12:05 You frequently defaced school desks and returned library books after their due date.

Dean 12:06 I’m dating a narc too???

Castiel 12:07 You didn’t ask what I have planned.

Dean 12:07 OK i’ll bite What do you have planned babe? Please tell me it’s not another documentary on bees That was depressing The grand canyon one was cool though

Castiel 12:10 Speaking of narcs

Dean 12:10 This doesn’t sound good

Castiel 12:11 When I had to get my extra copy of Camus from my car, I stumbled on Miriam at the edge of the parking lot with a few more students. They were skipping class and smoking marijuana. Naturally, I reported them to the administration.

Dean 12:13 Not helping your not-a-narc case

Castiel 12:13 They received detention for skipping class.

Dean 12:13 And the drugs?

Castiel 12:13 I may have neglected to report the drug use.

Dean 12:14 Seriously?

Castiel 12:14 I still confiscated it. Research evidence shows marijuana has negative effects on the developing brain.

Dean 12:14 I guess that’s fair

Dean 12:15 Hang on Do you still have it? OUR brains are old as balls Seriously, are you telling me you have weed now?

Castiel 12:15 Surprise? I can throw it out if you’d prefer to do something else tonight.

Dean 12:15 Dont you dare!!! I’m going to get a six pack on the way home, download the last Star Wars, and we’re gonna do this right Your place or mine?

Castiel 12:16 I have been neglecting laundry lately. Yours?

Dean 12:16 You’re on This is going to be so awesome

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15th

Dean 12:06 Did you really mean to invite me to dinner with your brother?

Castiel 12:09 I didn’t mean to bring it up when we were high, but the invitation still stands. Claire told him we were together. He wants to meet you.

Dean 12:11 Oh

Castiel 12:11 You do not have to say yes.

Dean 12:13 I’ll go It just took me by surprise

Castiel 12:13 I don’t want to pressure you.

Dean 12:14 Youre not pressuring me

Castiel 12:14 Are you sure?

Dean 12:16 Look, I just know your relationship with your brother is complicated And I don’t want to stick my foot in it By accident or some other way

Castiel 12:20 We’re in a better place than I’d like to admit. I spent a long time resenting Jimmy for the time he had with Father. But it wasn’t his fault Father was a bastard who had a second family he preferred to be with. Jimmy was barely in middle school when Father started going on his “business trips”

Dean 12:21 Jesus christ You told me bit about it back in high school But I didn’t realize it was a second family situation

Castiel 12:21 Mother kept it from us for years. I still haven’t forgiven her for it.

Dean 12:21 Are you OK?

Castiel 12:22 I’m fine. It was a long time ago.

Dean 12:22 That stuff takes a long time to get over.

Castiel 12:22 I suppose.

Dean 12:23 Is it okay if you stay at mine tonight?

Castiel 12:24 Our next date isn’t until Friday

Dean 12:24 I don’t want to wait until Friday to see you

Castiel 12:27 Can you pick me up at Carver at 4pm?

Dean 12:27 You got it More time with you and my baby Win-win!

FRIDAY, APRIL 24th

Dean 11:51 Are you sure what I usually wear to school is OK?

Castiel 11:53 You texted me nine minutes early?

Dean 11:53 Shut up I had to bribe my kids For NINE extra minutes Friggin tyrants

Castiel 11:54 What did they extort from you?

Dean 11:54 I promised to throw out their lowest pop quiz grade

Castiel 11:54 That isn’t too bad.

Dean 11:54 I was already planning on doing it

Castiel 11:55 Clever of you.

Dean 11:56 You’re not just dating a pretty face But getting back to dinner with your brother Is a regular button up OK? The tie hides most of the sloppy joe stain

Castiel 11:56 I’m sure you look very handsome

Dean 11:57 I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not

Castiel 11:57 I rarely manage sarcasm in-person. What makes you think I would attempt it over text?

Dean 11:58 Good point

Castiel 11:58 You’re a very good-looking man, Dean. I’ve known this since we were 15.

Dean 11:59 Stop it you’re making me blush

Castiel 12:01 It’s the truth.

Dean 12:04 Alright, alright I’m already sleeping with you No need to butter me up

Dean 12:05 It’s just I remember how you used to talk about him The perfect big brother

Castiel 12:07 More like the perfect student and perfect son. Jimmy was honestly too busy to be much of a brother. The 11 year age difference didn’t help. When I was in high school, he already had the perfect nuclear family on the way.

Dean 12:07 Exactly

Castiel 12:08 Exactly what?

Dean 12:08 You’re lucky I know you And I know you’re not drawing this out on purpose Look, i want to make a good impression, OK? he seems like a hard guy to please.

Castiel 12:09 I That’s very admirable of you, but it’s entirely unnecessary.

Dean 12:10 He’s your family

Castiel 12:11 And I understand family is very important to you, but it isn’t the same with me. It would be very nice if dinner goes well, but if it does not, I will not care in the slightest.

Dean 12:11 Really?

Castiel 12:11 Truly.

SATURDAY, APRIL 25th

11:16 I’m sorry for my dad.

Dean 11:17 Who is this?

11:20 Claire Novak

Dean 11:21 How did you get this number?

Claire 11:23 Alex Jones

Dean 11:24 How did Alex get my number???

Claire 11:24 It was on the softball permission forms How did you not know this Didn’t you draft them?

Dean 11:25 It’s been a while I’m a very busy man

Claire 11:25 Sure. Anyway, my dad was a dick. Totally out of line last night

Dean 11:26 Shouldn’t you be texting Cas about this?

Claire 11:26 I don’t have his number

Dean 11:26 Cas wasn’t kidding when he said you guys weren’t close

Claire 11:27 Nope.

Dean 11:27 Well I am very close with my brother He’s a lawyer out in California

Claire 11:27 Good for you???

Dean 11:29 It doesn’t sit right with me that Cas doesn't have a real relationship with his family

Claire 11:31 That seems like Uncle Castiels business

Dean 11:33 But Jimmy isn’t Cas’s only family SO if you ever need a place to crash, i’m always available

Claire 11:35 Maybe my dad was right And you’re secretly a perv I’m not staying with you you freak

Dean 11:35 Jesus christ, I’m trying to say, if ALEX isn’t the only girl on Edlund's softball team you’re getting buddy-buddy with, it’s fine You should get a chance to explore that part of being a teenager While STAYING SAFE But don’t let your parents stand in the way of that side of your life

Claire 11:41 Dad wouldn’t kick me out

Dean 11:42 Maybe not. But if you are at all uncomfortable, just give cas a call I’ll forward you his contact info now

“I might have told Claire she’s always welcome at my place if she comes out to her parents,” Dean says as he pockets his phone. He turns his back on the pile of sparkling clean dishes drying on the rack by Cas's sink. Dean adds, “Hopefully she’ll ask you before she goes to me.”

They hadn't really discussed the disaster of a dinner with Jimmy and Claire. A few tense words on the drive back to Cas's house, a tacit acknowledgement in the morning not to mention it until after coffee and breakfast. But then Cas brought out his homework for the weekend, even while last night's argument scratches at the back of his mind like a fly trapped in a windowless room. So Dean did the dishes and texted Claire.

Cas looks up from his juniors’ final exams. “You were talking to Claire?”

“She texted me first,” Dean says defensively.

Cas sighs and caps his pen. It’s blue, because red pen, according to Cas, is too traumatizing a grading implement. “I’m very sorry about last night.”

Dean waves his apology off. “You warned me it could go sideways.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “Still,” he says slowly, “I told my mother and Jimmy I was gay a few years ago. I think it was easy for them to ignore it as long as I didn’t have a boyfriend in the picture.”

Dean fiddles with a dishrag as he hovers by the sink. “Was Jimmy a jackass to your other boyfriends?”

“What others?” Cas asks wryly. “None of them were ever serious enough to pique Jimmy’s interest.”

“Really?”

Cas nods and gestures for Dean to take a seat at the kitchen table next to him. He holds out his hand, which Dean takes, bemused. “I don’t know why Jimmy thought religion was an appropriate introductory dinner topic. I could tell he was trying to genuinely understand our… lifestyle, to use his word, but-”

“I got angry,” Dean says looking down at their clasped hands.

“You didn’t say anything I wasn't thinking,” Cas says simply. “I’m glad you reached out to Claire.”

“It seems like she needed it.”

“She doesn’t have a lot of adults in her life she can rely on to be in her corner,” Cas says diplomatically. “I’ve tried, over the years, but I can’t relate to her at all.”

Dean laughs. “Of course not. Teenage rebellion wasn’t really your style.”

“Ah yes, of course,” Cas says, his voice dry as chalk, “you’d be the perfect person to talk to her. The cool kids speak their own language. How could I forget?”

Dean smirks. “It’s full of references you don’t get.”

“Don’t remind me,” Cas says darkly.

Dean leans in for a kiss. Eyes dancing, as he whispers, “Relax, babe. You were always the coolest kid in school to me."

#destiel #destiel fanfic #fanfic #teacher castiel #teacher dean #established relationship #fluff #text fic #the story of us verse #profoundnet #rae writes fic

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javier-djarin · 4 years

Text

Feels Like Yesterday: Chapter 1

Ship: Frankie Morales x Elena Bohannon (OC)

Rating: M

Word Count: 5,035 Words

Warnings: Language

Masterlist

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Summary: It’s been 10 years since Frankie and Elena have seen each other. But everyone is coming into town for Elena’s brother’s wedding, and Santiago has a few plans up his sleeve.

A/N: The moon and sun story that I used can be found here. I’ve really enjoyed writing this fic so far, so I hope you like this part! As always, translations for any Spanish phrases will be at the bottom. Please let me know what you think and if you want to be in my tag list!!

“There once was a moon, as beautiful as can be, only the stars could fathom, but the sun could not see.”

10 years later

The sun shone through the curtains in her apartment, beams dancing across her face and kissing her awake. She could almost feel the warmth of the early August morning. Her eyes fluttered open and she rolled over to look away from the sun as she stretched across her bed. It was empty. Lazily, she reached out farther across her expensive Egyptian Cotton sheets looking for him, but he'd obviously left. Elena sat up and stretched, running her hand through her messy locks and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She grabbed her glasses off the nightstand before slipping out of bed. Her master bedroom was a disaster from the night before. Clothes thrown everywhere, blankets on the floor. She smiled at the memory; no wonder she was still so tired.

Wrapped in her robe, she walked on to her balcony that was littered with box gardens and plant pots, the flowery aroma overpowering the smell of the city below. After years of hard work, she finally was able to afford the apartment that overlooked Central Park. Well, it also helped that her boyfriend had such a stable and high paying job as an executive for HarperCollins. But she was able to afford this apartment before they moved in together. She did it all on her own. “You’d be proud of me, Papa,” she said looking up at the sky, pretending he was looking down at her, smiling.

She felt a pair of muscular arms wrap around her, pulling her close against his body as he peppered her with kisses on the back of her neck. “I love waking up to this,” he said.

Elena turned around in his arms, wrapping her own around his neck. His dark hair was still unruly from the night before. She looked into his green eyes and kissed him lightly. “Good morning to you too,” she said, “I thought you already left for work to finish some expense reports.”

He shook his head. “I decided not to go in today. I can work from here. But,” he smiled, “I did make us breakfast.”

She groaned. “How did I get so lucky?”

He kissed her. “I think I should be asking that.” He kissed her again, burying his face into her neck. “Breakfast is ready, but I think I would much rather try that thing we did last night again.”

Elena chuckled. “Can I get some food in my system first, before we satisfy your appetite, Liam?”

He growled. “As always, you win.” He led her back into the apartment to the small breakfast he’d made. He handed her a plate. “Your mother called this morning. She wanted to know what time our flight landed tomorrow.”

Elena sighed. “I sent her our inventory.”

Liam laughed. “I think she just misses us and was looking for an excuse to call. Now that your brother is getting married, I think she’s getting empty nest syndrome.”

She agreed. After her father died, her mother devoted her entire time to her kids. It wasn’t until after she graduated college did her mother finally remarry, Mr. Garcia at that. At the wedding, she and Santi joked about how they always felt like siblings anyway, so why not make it official. There was one person she’d hoped to see there, but he never showed. Apparently, he was off on assignment, whatever that meant. Since then, she, Santiago, and her two siblings, David and María, had moved on with their lives. Her childhood house was completely empty except for her mother and stepfather.

Elena took a bite. “I’ll call her when I get home tonight,” she said. Liam looked at her confused. “It is Sunday, dear,” she added, “Cal and I go shopping and get lunch every Sunday.”

He nodded. “I completely forgot.”

There was a knock at the door. “That’ll be him,” she said. She took another bite before getting up. She opened the door. “You’re early,” she said, hugging him.

“No, you slept in.” He looked at her and then to Liam with a raised eyebrow. “Late night?”

She slapped his shoulder. “I’ll go get ready. Can you two behave while I’m gone?”

Liam turned in his chair to watch her run down the hallway. “Only if he plays nice.”

She scoffed and ran off to get dressed.

***

Santiago drove to the airport, waiting for his brothers to get off the plane. He could hear them before he could see them. “Oh, fuck you, Benny,” he heard Ironhead say. Benny ran ahead of them away from his brother laughing. Redfly was right behind them shaking his head. Santiago was looking past them for Cat, but he was clearly taking his time. He hadn’t been back to San Antonio for close to a decade, and he knew Frankie was feeling every emotion he left behind all at once.

“Pope!” Benny exclaimed as he ran to him. “We didn’t think you’d make it. Figured you were still down in South America hooking up with hot ‘informants’.”

He laughed. “Fuck you, Benny.”

Benny held his hands up in surrender. “Man, what have I done to get such love from my brothers.”

They each took their turns giving Santi a brotherly hug before heading to baggage claim. He grabbed Will by the arm to stop him. “Where is he?”

Will looked back the direction they came. “He’s in the bathroom. He has been a wreck the entire trip home.”

“I expected half as much,” Santi added.

“What happened here?”

He sighed and saw Frankie coming, still wearing that baseball cap she gave him years ago. “He fucked everything up, and he’s about to face it all this week.”

“He was talking in his sleep on the plane,” Will said, “he kept talking to someone named Luna.”

Santiago let out a soft laugh. “Those fuckin’ nicknames.” He looked up at Ironhead, who was confused. “Don’t tell him he did that.”

“You got it, man.” He slapped him on the shoulder and walked off.

Frankie slowly walked over to Santi and gave him a long brotherly hug. “It’s about time I get you back here,” he laughed.

“I shouldn’t be here,” he said, “and I sure as hell shouldn’t be going to David’s wedding.” He looked like he was about to lose his lunch.

Santiago sighed. “She’s moved on,” he said, “I told you that. She’s happy in Manhattan with her boyfriend. Honestly, they’re probably going to get married before too long. She’s done hating you...probably.” He knew deep down that she was going to be pissed off that Frankie was back, but he was tired of seeing both of them hurting. Every time she came home, she’d walk around her mother’s house and turn down photos of her and Frankie. She hardly ever addressed him by name. Even after all these years, no matter how much she would deny it, Santiago knew she was still in love with Frankie, as he was with her.

Frankie nodded, wanting to believe him. But he knew better. The minute they would see each other, she would come over to him and give him a piece of her mind. “Even if you told me in a letter, I would be pissed, but at least I knew. Besides, I’d see you again, because you’re not just going to abandon me.” That’s what she had said, not knowing the truth. And he did exactly that. He left and once he heard she was dating some guy from her college, and it had gotten pretty serious, he never came back. He couldn’t handle the thought of losing her. Now, he was going to have to face it, because the whole gang was back together and going to her brother’s wedding. “When was the last time you saw her?” He asked, his voice cracking.

“I came home for Dad’s 60th last fall, and she was down here for the whole week.”

“How - how was she?”

Santi looked at him, and slung his arm around his shoulder. “She’s good. Really good. And she’s happier than I’d seen her in years. For a while, I thought you’d broken her for good. But…” he caught himself, not wanting to bring up Liam just yet. “You’ll see on Saturday.”

Frankie shook his head. “I don’t know if I’m going to go. I don’t think seeing her for the first time in a decade at her brother’s wedding is a good idea.”

“Then, I’ll set up something at the house. A bonfire or something, like old times.”

He shook his head again. Frankie looked over to Benny, Will, and Tom. “Maybe just sticking with them for the week will help.”

Santiago shook his head. “You can’t avoid her forever.”

“No, but I can try.”

***

Elena was sitting with Cal at a little cafe, looking through her bags. “Thanks for helping me find a dress for the rehearsal dinner,” she said, “I was about to just show up in my slip.”

He smiled at her and laughed. “Oh, of course. So, now that David is getting married, I guess that leaves you,” he smiled.

She blushed. “You would think, but he hasn’t even acted like he has plans.”

He sipped on his glass of Merlot. “Girl, if the two of you have known each other for as long as you say, I’m sure he’s just trying to find the right moment to propose. Maybe he will take you to an old childhood spot when you’re home and pop the question.”

Cal was suddenly lost in his fantasy, planning out her life, when her phone rang. They both looked at the caller ID photo and saw Santiago’s face. Cal swooned. He’d had the biggest crush on him when he went home with her as her date to her mother’s wedding. The same weekend Elena and Liam reconnected. “Please answer so I can hear his voice.”

She laughed and answered the phone. “Hey, Santi, ¿qué pasa?”

“Hola, ‘lena. Mama says you’re coming in tomorrow?”

“Sí. Liam and I are taking a morning flight.” She could hear his breathing start to pick up. “Santi, ¿qué pasa con usted?”

“I think it’s better if you hear from me.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I don’t have much time, because they’ll start to wonder where I am.”

“Hey, Pope! Hurry up. Cat is taking us fishing and we are waiting on you,” She heard a family voice of one of his army buddies exclaim in the background. Cat-Catfish. Frankie was home.

Elena froze and looked through Cal with tears in her eyes. She could see Frankie sitting across from her in that diner telling her how he felt without ever actually saying anything, and then suddenly her heart broke again. She gasped. “Santi…”

“It’s my fault,” he said, “I told him to come. It’ll be good for both of you.”

“You know I never want to see him again, and so you told him to come to David’s wedding?”

Santiago sighed. “That’s why I called. To warn you. Look, he’s just as terrified as you are.”

“I’m not terrified. I’m pissed. What kind of nerve does he have thinking he could come to my brother’s wedding?”

“Elena, I love you. You’re my sister in every sense of the word. This was bound to happen eventually. Besides, David invited him.”

She refused to respond to him.

“Look, my old Squad is here. David invited them all too, since he got to know them over the years. They’ll help me keep Frankie preoccupied, if you really don’t want to see him.”

She could feel herself about to lose control. All she could muster was, “I’ll see you at the rehearsal, Santi. Love you.”

Elena slammed the phone down and buried her face in her hands. Cal sat in silence, waiting for her to say something. Instead, she grabbed her phone and dialed Rae. “Hello!” Her voice sang over the phone.

“Did you know?” She asked dryly.

“Well, hello to you too, Sunshine.”

“Rae. Did you know Santi told Frankie to come to David’s wedding?”

She gasped and didn’t speak for a minute. “He did what? I swear I didn’t know, and we had lunch the other day! Why the fuck would he do that?”

Elena let out a few tears. “Why the fuck is he home? Ten years. I have gone ten fucking years without having to deal with him, and so he chooses now to come back?”

Rae waited for her to calm down. “Does he know about you and Liam?”

She let out an exasperated sigh. He was the last person she wanted to see. “We land tomorrow afternoon. As soon as we drop our stuff off, meet me at the usual.”

“Do you want me to kick Santiago’s ass for being a moron?”

Elena stifled a laugh. “No,” she said, “I want that privilege.”

***

Rae looked at her phone, contemplating on calling Santiago and bitching him out. But she knew he was smart. He did this for a reason. She opened her contacts and clicked on his icon. It rang several times before going to voicemail. “Santi, fucking answer your phone. You’ll never guess who just called me,” she said.

He felt the phone vibrate in his pocket as he looked over to Frankie and Benny in the boat. Will and Tom were sitting up front cracking open beers while the other two prepared the bait. With Santi at the helm, and everyone distracted, he could easily answer the phone. He slid it out of his pocket and saw five missed calls from Rae. “Shit,” he whispered. He looked back at the guys again to make sure they were all preoccupied as he called her back.

“It’s about fucking time you call me,” she said.

He instantly hit the volume on his phone to turn down the sound. “Not so loud,” he whispered.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind, Santi? This week?”

“Rae, I need to call you back. How about I stop by tonight and explain everything?” he quickly whispered over her yelling.

“Who are you whispering to over there, Pope?” Benny yelled, drawing attention to him.

“Rae, I gotta go.”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me, Garcia!”

He ended the call and turned to Benny and grinned. “That piece of Colombian tail I was chasing before I came home.”

Benny whooped and high fived Santi before sitting back down next to Frankie. “I knew it.”

Pope smiled and turned his attention back to his phone. He quickly sent Rae a text:

I promise we will talk when I get back. The guys wanted to go fishing. I can’t talk with them right next to me.

She instantly replied:

You better have a good reason why you brought him here.

***

Cal looked at Elena as she tried to catch her breath. She looked like she’d seen a ghost. He reached across the table and grabbed her hands. “Do you want to tell me what all that was about?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Not really. It’s something from my past I wish would stay buried.”

Cal inhaled and leaned back in his chair. “Obviously it’s not. Whoever this Frankie guy is…” he paused and watched her demeanor instantly change at the mention of his name. “He has you in all sorts of knots.”

A few tears slid down her cheek before she looked up at Cal. “I want to stay mad at him,” she said, “but I know the moment I see him, everything will be forgiven.” She cried into her hands. “I was finally able to move on. I am finally happy with my life. Why does he have to come home and fuck everything up?”

“Who is he?” He motioned for the waitress to bring another bottle.

“Fransisco Morales.” She breathed his name. It had been years since she talked about him to anyone, and saying his name like that made her heart skip several beats. “He was my best friend. He, Liam, and I all grew up together. We were thick as thieves; practically lived with us through middle and high school. We went everywhere and did everything together. Honestly, there was...no is no one that knows me better than Frankie.”

“Not even Liam?” He asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow at her.

She let several more tears slide down her cheek as she drank from her wine glass. “It’s complicated.”

“No, it’s really not.”

Elena took in several deep breaths. “I love Liam. I have my whole life. He’s a good man that I know will never do anything to hurt me. He’s been there for me when others abandoned me.”

“Others meaning this Frankie guy.” Cal crossed his arms and looked at her.

“Frankie,” she took in another deep breath, trying to calm herself, “he hurt me. Bad. Like, cut me deep to the bone, and it took me forever to heal from it.” She grabbed her wallet out of her purse and pulled out a wrinkled, aged envelope that had been folded in half and shoved into the cash section. “The last night I saw him, we had this serious talk about long distance relationships. The entire time, I thought he was talking about someone else, but when I got this in the mail the following week, I realized how dumb I really was.”

Elena handed Cal the letter to read. “And you carry it with you?”

“It’s stupid, I know,” she said, wiping her eyes with her napkin, “but Frankie was the most important person in my life for thirteen years. When my dad died, he was the only one who could keep me together; keep me going. This letter told me everything I ever wanted to know, and it destroyed me. So I carry it around as a reminder of my lowest point. A reminder to never let myself be this weak again.”

Cal read through the letter and gazed back up at her. “Oh, sweetie,” he said, gently folding it back into the envelope. “Do Liam know any of this?”

She shook her head. “He knows that Frankie hurt me, but that’s it. He has no idea about the letter, his feelings for me, or anything.”

He sighed. “Elena,” he began, “you clearly have some unresolved feelings for him as well.”

She vehemently shook her head. “If anything, it’s the hurt and anger I harbored over the better part of a decade.”

“Are you going to tell Liam?” he asked.

“He’s going to see him anyway,” she said, sipping her wine, “but the last time we talked about Frankie…” she trailed off and tried to forget the biggest fight she and Liam ever had. She was sure they would have ended right then and there if it hadn’t been for Rae calling in the middle of it. After that, they never finished that discussion. Never revisited that topic. Frankie was a forbidden name in their house. “Well, we don’t talk about Frankie.”

“I thought the three of you grew up ‘thick as thieves’,” Cal added.

Elena nodded. “That was until about high school. Then everything became a competition. They would only hang out together in our group. Never just the three of us or just the two of them. I knew what was happening, but I never knew how to put a stop to it. I couldn’t choose sides, because they both meant so much to me. That was, until one day when Liam and I had plans. Frankie’s truck stalled in the middle of an intersection, and he was rushed to the hospital after a car struck him. He called me and told me he was fine. Just a broken arm, but I left Liam without a second thought. I burned him, bad. Ever since then, whenever we bring up Frankie, it turns into a huge fight.”

Cal sighed. “Look, if you and Liam really love each other, Frankie won’t come between you at all.”

She started to space out, dissociating from the conversation. She knew what Cal didn’t. Liam was jealous of Frankie. He always was, and he knew that Elena and Frankie had a deep, unspoken bond that couldn’t simply be swept under the rug after ten years.

***

The sun was starting to set, creating beautiful purple and orange clouds across the sky. She stood just outside her apartment complex and looked up with a large smile on her face. “Have you heard the story about the moon and the sun?” she asked Cal, who was starting to wave for a cab.

“What?”

“The sun loved the moon so much that he died every night to let her breathe,” she recited.

Cal looked at her look at the sky while she continued her story:

“During the time when Earth was simple, the Sun shone brighter than anything in the sky. He brought everything joy and warmth, but he was lonely in the sky. Then there was the Moon. When the sun would grow tired, she would rise into the sky with her beautiful stars, but her beauty went unnoticed by everything on the earth. As she only shined while they slept. The Stars hoped that one day they could get closer to her so she wouldn’t feel so empty, but they could not. She was untouchable, surrounding herself with a blanket of darkness through the cold nights. One day, the Sun was sliding out of the heavens, and he caught a glimpse of her. She was peeking up, a rare side of her being exposed to the light. So, just as the Stars were wandering into the night, the Sun fell in love like a snowball hurtling down a mountain. How he wished to see her more than the fleeting moments he shared with her at both dawn and dusk. ‘Go,’ she whispered to him one of these nights, her voice as sweet and sorrowful as the last light of morning, ‘Go and let me breathe, for you and I have decided fates. You illuminate the day, and I cast a glow on the night. We will never be. Our connection would go against what all people believe, all they know.’ During the summer he would stay a little longer, just in case she would change her mind. But she would say ‘Don’t you dare abandon your blessing of light for my darkness.’ Those were the last words the Moon was strong enough to speak to the Sun.”

They both stood in silence while she smiled up at the sky, seeing the Moon making her appearance early, and the sun staying just a little longer so he could see her one last time before he disappeared. Cal broke the silence by clearing his throat. “Is that you and Frankie?” he asked.

She blinked her eyes and glanced over to him. “It was our favorite myth my mother used to tell us when we were kids. We joked that he was the Sun and I was the Moon, because he would do everything to make sure I wasn’t alone in my darkness, and I would always try to lift him up so the world never missed out on all the light he could give.”

Cal placed his hand over his heart. “You’re killing me with this,” he said, “be careful this week at home. Call me if you need anything.”

She hugged him. “I will. Love you, dear.”

“Love you, kid.”

She made her way back up to her apartment, where she found Liam sitting in the office working on his expense reports. Elena leaned against the doorframe watching him. She smiled at the sight. His left eye would squint a little every time he’d get frustrated with his work, and she thought it was the most adorable thing she’d ever seen. Her heart soared as she looked at him. Elena wasn’t lying to Cal when she told him how happy Liam made her. After all, they’d been friends their entire lives, and he had been there for her when she needed him most. But, then her mind drifted to Frankie. She’d been in love with Frankie for as long as she could remember. He was her Sol. But the Sun and Moon are not destined to be together. I have to let him go, for good. She thought to herself.

Cal looked over and saw her standing there. “You’re back early,” he smiled, reaching for her to join him.

She dropped the bags by the door and slid onto his lap, kissing him passionately. He smiled against her lips and returned the favor. “Miss me that much?” he said.

Elena pulled away and looked down at him, with sadness in her eyes. “We need to talk about this week.”

He tensed up. “What’s wrong?”

She took a deep breath. “Santiago called me today,” she began, “and he wanted to warn me that Frankie was going to be there.”

She felt Liam go rigid. He sat there for several seconds, looking past her, with anger in his eyes. When she’d picked Frankie over Liam that fateful day, he’d never forgiven Frankie. Their friendship had ended right then and there. Ever since then, his hatred for Frankie grew, especially when he crushed Elena the way he did. “How do you feel?”

Elena ran her hands down Liam’s chest. “Hurt. Angry. The same emotions I’ve had for the last ten years.”

“I thought you’d moved past this,” Liam said.

“I have, Liam,” she retorted, standing up, “but I never got closure. I deserve that. I have questions that deserve to be answered.”

He rubbed the bridge of his nose before answering. “Why does that matter if you’ve moved on?”

She felt her hands start to shake. “Because, he was such an important part of my life for so long, and losing him the way I did hurt. I want to know why, and if we can still be friends after all this time.”

Liam shook his head and laughed. “It’s never been about ‘being friends,’ Elena. Look, I don’t know what happened between the two of you before he left for bootcamp, because for some reason you won’t tell me, and I have respected that. But we both know that Frankie has been in love with you since the first day you met, and sometimes I think that you loved him too.”

“Liam, whether or not I had feelings for him back then doesn’t matter. Why? Because I love you. I am here now, telling you that he’s back home. I could have hid this from you, but instead I decided to tell you so we could talk about him like reasonable adults.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I know that you hate Frankie, for reasons I can’t understand. But, please, for me just set that aside. I’m not going anywhere. Put faith in me. Just because Frankie is home doesn’t mean anything.”

He reached out for her hands and held them. He rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles and sighed. “I have faith in you, always,” he said, “but not when Frankie is involved. It’s like you forget everything that doesn’t concern him. He has some sort of hold over you, and you’ll drop everything for him the minute he needs you.”

She didn’t try to argue that, because she knew that Liam was right. It pained her to see Liam suffering the way he was. He was actually afraid that this week, he would lose her. He loved her more than anything, and he knew that with Frankie back in their lives, he would lose the one person he held dear.

***

Rae rolled over and looked at the clock on her night stand. 1:00 AM. The doorbell was constantly being rung at random intervals, and it was driving her nuts. She grabbed an old army hoodie that Santiago let her have when he returned from bootcamp and marched down the stairs. Yanking open the door, she saw Santi standing there with a grin on his face. “You look good in that hoodie,” he chided.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” she asked, obviously annoyed. He let himself into her house and made his way to the kitchen. “Please, come in. Have a drink.”

Santi laughed and made himself a quick drink. “First off, I’m sorry I hung up like I did,” he said, “but Benny was getting suspicious.”

She leaned against the door jam and rolled her eyes. “Why the fuck is Frankie here?”

He took a sip of his whisky and sighed. “You know why,” he added, “Liam isn’t going to make her happy. Frankie is a miserable fuck. They belong together.”

Rae grabbed his drink and took a sip. “She won’t ever trust him again,” she said.

He wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her closer and set the glass on the counter. “You and I both know she will hate herself if she stays with Liam. He’s a good man, but she’s not in love with him.”

“You seriously invited Frankie home to break up Elena and Liam?” Rae laughed and wrapped her arms around Santi’s neck.

He shrugged and smiled at her. “We both wanted to see this for years. Why are you fighting it now?”

“Because,” she said, “Elena is my best friend, and if she says he’s happy, then I refuse to ruin that.”

Santi kissed her deeply. “What can I do to convince you otherwise?” He grinned and kissed her jaw. “Because she’ll be happier in the long run.”

Rae stopped him, forcing him to look at her. “You’ve done enough,” she said, “we just need to let them settle this on their own, mi amor.”

He laughed at her. “Fine. Whatever you say.”

She shook her head and turned to walk away, but he stopped her. “¿Puedo pasar la noche?” He asked.

“Si esto termina bien, puedes quedarte a pasar la noche. Hasta entonces, buenas noches, Santiago,” she smiled at him as she left him in the kitchen. “Lock the door on your way out.”

Translations

¿Qué pasa (con usted)? - What’s up (with you)?

¿Puedo pasar la noche? - Can I stay the night?

Si esto termina bien, puedes quedarte a pasar la noche. Hasta entonces, buenas noches, Santiago. - If this ends well, you can stay the night. Until then, good night, Santiago.

Tag List

@magneticbucky @wickedfrsgrl @wander-lustbabe @pedropascalownsmyheart @frietiemeloen @larakasser

#Frankie Morales #frankie catfish morales #Frankie Morale x OC #Feels Like Yesterday #Triple Frontier #fransisco morales

40 notes · View notes

thecozywhaleshark · 5 years

Text

King of Hearts (pt. 1)

A/n: ok big oof big oof big oof I’ve just started this series and get ready folks it’s gonna be a real long one and a real steamy one and i’m excited to continue it

Word Count: 3962

Warnings: Escort Jin. A little smut (fingering). Swearing. It will only get worse from here. This is the tame part.

Summary: You are a famous writer who can’t exactly show up to an event alone... so you hire an escort... his name is Jin

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Staring anxiously at the phone before you, you tapped your fingers on your desk and tried to decide.

This was not the greatest idea you’d ever had. But it couldn’t be that bad, right? You’re not that pathetic … right? This is a thing people do… right? And nobody would ever know… right?

You sigh and bury your face in your hands.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid book party. Stupid publisher’s meeting. Stupid erotica writer with no stupid date.

Of course, you could always show up alone, but that would spark questions.

A wonderful writer like you with no date? What a shame. So pretty too. How are you getting your inspiration? Are you between boyfriends? Do you have many one night stands?

Questions you didn’t want to deal with. How do you tell your sponsors and publishers and everyone who worked on making your books boom that you haven’t been on a date in over three years? Haven’t had sex in just as long? That your sex life was so dry even the desert probably pitied you?

You stared at the website open in front of you and moved your hand over your cell phone. It’s just one night. And for totally innocent reasons. You typed in the number, put it on speaker, and waited.

The phone clicked and a friendly woman’s voice purred through the speaker:

“Heart Escort Services, this is Cindy, how may I help you today?”

You swallowed. Of course her voice sounded like sex. Just like her trade.

Quiet, you don’t know anything about her. Don’t judge. You’re the one calling the line.

“Hello? Is anyone there? I swear to god Jeremy if this is you I’m going to report you to security because you can’t keep calling to listen to my voice and jerk off you mother-”

“Um, hello.” You stammer, and the lady on the other end goes quiet for a moment.

“Oh! I’m so sorry about that. Thank you for calling Heart Escort Services, how can I help you?”

You fiddle with the string of your hoodie and bite your lip. “Do you have male escorts?”

“We sure do! Do you have any specifics?”

You laugh nervously. “Someone handsome?”

She laughs lightly. “Honey, all our men are handsome. We are a highly sought after escort service. Not just anyone can be an escort.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” You can feel yourself blushing furiously even though you knew it was just a phone call. You bury your face in your hands.

Lord God please, smite me from above.

Honestly, you didn’t care who your date was. You could always tell your publisher at the next event that it ended up being a short term fling.

“Um, do you have anyone available on March 23? I just need someone to um… escort… me to an event? It’s from 7-10pm.”

You cringe. Did I really just say ‘escort me to an event’ to an escort service? Smooth.

Cindy hums on the other end of the phone and you hear flipping – probably some sort of planner for the escort’s events.

“Alright, we have three men available on the day you requested at the time. Would you like me to give you their names and descriptions?”

You don’t want to choose. You just want a date. “Um… no… I’m not too picky.”

Cindy chortles. “That’s a first. No really, honey I’m going to need more than that. You’re paying for the service right? Then it’s okay to be picky.”

Oh, well when she puts it like that…

“Uh, what or sorry, which? Of the three is the most sociable? It’s a really social night and I need them to be able to hold their own in a room full of strangers if that’s okay? And um, younger? I’m only 24…”

You hear more clicking and humming from Cindy as she decides. “Okay, hun. I have a 26-year-old Korean man named Jin. He’s honestly one of the more talkative escorts that we have. I’m sure he would do great at your event. Just so you know, if you want him the entire night it will cost extra..”

“No!” you almost shout, then quickly backpedal. “I mean, no. No, sorry I don’t want him for the entire night. Just 7-10.”

“Alright, 7-10 it is then. Where should he meet you?”

You thought for a second. You were going to need to walk in with him. The event was at the Cedar Valley Hotel ballroom on 2nd.

“Can he meet me at Christine’s Coffeehouse and Café on 2nd Street?” It was down the street from the hotel, at the end of the block. They could walk up and in together.

You heard some more typing and pencil scribbling before Cindy spoke again. “Jin will meet you at Christine’s Coffeehouse and Café on 2nd on March 23 at 6:45 pm. He will be wearing a black suit and a red tie. Please remember that we only take cash, and you will pay him for his time.” You nod and quickly scramble over your desk for a sticky note and pen.

Jin. Black suit. Red tie. Christine’s. 6:45pm.

Cindy tells you his charge and you write it under the time with a note to make a trip to the bank, surprised at how high it is.

Of course he is dummy. He’s an escort. This place is high rank.

High, but not unreasonable you reasoned. You had the cash. He must be really good at what he does. But so were you.

“Thanks, Cindy. Anything else I should know?”

She laughs again on the other end of the line. “You should really have considered taking him for the night. You, missy, are missing out.”

You find yourself blushing furiously again and hang up. Pushing your hands through your hair and letting out a long breath.

You’re really doing this. You just hired an escort. You laughed to yourself and got out of your chair. If only your mother could see you now. Wouldn’t she be so proud?

You walk over to your closet and begin to flip through it. Black suit. Red tie. Black suit. Red Tie. What did you have that matched that?

~ three weeks later ~

You stepped out of your taxi and fidgeted with your dress, pulling the hem down. You hadn’t realized how much it had shrunk when you decided to risk throwing it into the washer instead of taking it to the dry cleaners, and now your originally knee-length black pencil dress came down only to mid-thigh. You checked yourself out in the reflective glass of the café.

Simply cut black pencil dress – classy with just a little bit of décolletage and leg on display.

3 1/2-inch heels – as high as you can go without falling while you walk.

Simple crystal earrings.

Loose low bun with just the right amount of face-framing.

Black and silver beaded clutch.

You walked into the café and headed to the bathroom.

Makeup on point. Just touch of the red lipstick – red to match his tie – and you’re good.

You step out of the bathroom, putting your lipstick in your purse and sit down at one of the tables by the window, glancing at the time.

6:37 pm. You’re early.

You sip a glass of water nervously, trying hard not to bite your fingernails.

Please be here. Please don’t be late. Please be at least cute.

You swirled the condensation left from your glass on the table with the tip of your finger and looked at your phone again.

6:39pm.

God, those three minutes seemed like an eternity.

At 6:45pm on the dot, the door of the café dings open and a tall, handsome man strides in. He has purpose in every step, and you can’t stop yourself from staring as he glances around the room, sees you, and turns on his heel coming your way, dropping into the seat opposite of you.

Damn. He’s hot. Like really hot. Stupid handsome hot in a suit and tie. Nobody looks that good in a suit. And shoulders. SHOULDERS. How the fuck –

“Are you y/n?” he asks casually, crossing his legs and looking at you with one eyebrow quirked.

“How-how did you know?” you stutter, nervously tucking your hair behind your ear.

He leans forward and gives you a grin. “We’re the two best-dressed people in this establishment.”

You look around you and laugh. You definitely were. Two people in formalwear in a place that suggests jeans and sweaters.

“I guess the formal dress would give it away.” You smile at him and he grins back, putting you more at ease.

Stupid handsome guy has a nice smile. Of course he does. Shut up, y/n.

“I’m Jin.” He holds out his hand.

You shake it, trying to give him a warm smile and not look creepy or freaked out. “Y/n, but I see you already know that.”

“I hear we’re going to an event? What kind of event?”

You fold your hands in front of you to stop them from fidgeting. “I will tell you, but you can’t laugh.”

He leans forward even more, resting his face in his palm. “Ooo, this sounds interesting.”

“I’m serious.” You try to pull a serious face and he sits up and folds his hands in front of him too.

“Serious.”

You nod. “Okay. So this event, it’s a publisher’s dinner. Fancy thing. I’m an author, and it’s important. Help’s me keep in contact with my sponsors and donors and team who made my publishing’s possible.”

“What kind of books do you write?” he looks genuinely interested. You hesitate and decide to tell him a half-truth.

“Uh- romance. Romance novels. Real cheesy stuff.”

He nods and you can see him trying to hide his smile. You give him a side-eye. “Shut up.”

He works his jaw and takes a deep breath. Trying to hold his laughter. “I’m not laughing.”

“Yeah, but you want to. I can see it.”

He smiles then, a big one this time. “Hey wait you’re the one who just referred to her own works as, and I quote, ‘real cheesy stuff.’” He makes air quotes with his fingers and you laugh.

“That’s because it is!”

“If you think it’s cheesy, why do you write it?”

You look back down at the table with a smile and swirl the water on your table in a squiggly line. “Because people like cheese, it sells well.”

He laughs. “I bet.”

“So anyway, I can’t exactly show up to this meeting alone. Everyone thinks that I get my ideas from experience… when I do not.” You blush and look down again.

“Because you use your brain.” Says Jin and you look up, surprised at his answer.

This is the first person to know what I mean without teasing me about my lack of a sex life...

“Exactly! Nobody wants to understand that I’m using my own brain and imagination and information that I researched and read instead of personal experience.” You roll your eyes and give him a big smile and he chuckles.

“Because people are idiots and want to think they know everything,” he replies and you nod in confirmation.

He gives you an easy smile. “So a publisher’s party for a cheesy romance novelist who just wants them to stay out of her personal life. Sounds fun.” He stands and offers you his arm. “Shall we?”

You softly place your hand in the crook of his arm. “Well now, don’t I feel fancy.”

He laughs and puts his hand over yours. “If we are playing a fake couple, we better start acting like one, dearest.”

You find yourself turning red again. Damn it easily blushing face stop it. “Of course… honey.”

He grins at you. “That’s the spirit!”

Together you walk down the street and into the hotel lobby. The desk clerk gestures you on towards the ballroom and you easily are able to find it. Taking a deep breath you place your hand on the door and look at Jin.

“You ready?” He asks, and you nod.

“Let’s do this.”

“You forgot my pet name, pumpkin.”

You roll your eyes and open the door, giving him a sugary sweet smile over your shoulder. “Sorry, babe. Now come along dear, I simply must introduce you to my publisher.”

He grins and wraps his arm around your waist, and you can only pray you can pull this off.

~

You had been at the party for over an hour now, and Jin had been great. Really great. He introduced himself as your boyfriend, and he had been making it really fun as you played pretend. Currently, you were talking to a group of your publishers and sponsors, and Jin was winning them all over with his quick smile, easy charm, bad dad jokes, and of course, his good looks. The conversation had drifted from small talk to your books quickly, and you hated it. You hated when the attention turned back on you, and you hoped nothing too revealing would be said that outed your real writing to Jin.

“And the entirety of chapter 57?! Whoo! I tried some of that out with my husband, and I have no idea how Emilia did it! We only did one of the things mentioned you know, and I’ve never been more exhausted in my life!” chimes in Julia, your publisher, fanning herself with her hand.

“Emilia?” whispers Jin, leaning down to get to your ear. “The main character in one of my books, baby,” you whisper back and Jin nods, straightening up.

“Ah yes, Emilia.” He says louder. “I love her.” You bite back your grin as your publisher coos over him.

“Of course you do, who wouldn’t?! You’re such a supportive boyfriend for reading all your books!”

So far, so good. We’re safe.

“Y/n, you do write some of the best erotica I’ve ever read in my life. Where do you learn it all?” asks Marilyn, one of your sponsors, patting your arm gently.

Shit. I jinxed it. So much for hoping nobody brings it up.

Jin chokes on his drink and tries to hide it with a cough, grabbing your arm gently. “Sorry, ladies, gentlemen,” he nods at your publishing team. “I think I’m having a coughing fit. Y/n, sweetie, would you mind stepping out to get some air with me?”

You rub his back in mock sympathy. “Sure, darling. Are you okay?”

“I just think I need some air, peanut.”

You can’t help your smirk as you show him to the balcony. As soon as you get through the glass doors and they close behind you, Jin doubles over laughing. “You write erotica?! You??”

You cross your arms over your chest. “Hey! That’s mean.”

He leans against the balcony rail and tries to steady himself. “Wait wait wait… sorry, but the lady who writes best-selling erotica… hired an escort?! Oh, my god.”

You sigh and lean against the railing. “Are you done?”

He gasps for air and wipes tears out of the corner of his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine. I’m good.” He straightens his tux and takes a deep breath. “I’m a professional.”

You roll your eyes. “You sure act like one.”

He smiles at you, but it’s not mean. “You’re easy to be around. This is a fun job. Normally I have to work with a lot more stiff old people.” He makes a face and you laugh.

You both stand in the cold air in silence for a few moments and he takes off his jacket, placing it around your shoulders.

You try to ignore the shiver that does down your spine when his fingers brush your bare arms and look down at it and pick up part of it with your fingers, trying to act like it’s no big deal.

“What is this? Special treatment? I didn’t know I got the deluxe deal! Oh me oh my!”

He scoffs. “I may be an escort, but I’m a gentleman.”

You nod. “Very gentlemanly.”

He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m so glad you noticed.”

You smile. “Are you sure you won’t be cold?”

He gives you a soft smile. “What? Oh, I’m fine. I’m very warm actually. Steamy. Especially now that I know a little of Julia’s sex life.”

You laugh. “I wish conversations got better than that, but unfortunately, when you write about sex, that’s all anyone ever wants to talk about.”

He nods. “I understand that. When you’re an escort, that’s all everyone wants to talk about too.”

“Wait.. isn’t it your job to talk sex?” you giggle and he nudges you with his elbow. “Usually there’s not that much talking” he winks and you laugh.

“Okay dude, TMI.”

“TMI?! You’re the one who writes erotica! Descriptively!” he cries and you laugh again as he shakes his head.

You are both silent for a few moments before he speaks again. “Okay, but, really, what happens in Chapter 57?”

You feel your lips quirk up in a smirk. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

He looks at you incredulously. “You’re going to leave me hanging?”

“Yes, you just laughed at the fact that I write erotica!”

“I was surprised!” He defends, placing his hand over his heart. “You told me you wrote cheesy romance. I feel betrayed.”

You laugh and shove him with your shoulder. “It is a cheesy romance novel…. That just happens to have a lot of smut.”

“I told you about my sex life!” he accuses and crosses his arms, pouting. “I want to know about Chapter 57.”

God, he’s cute when he pouts.

You shrug off his jacket and hand it back to him as you walk away, smirking over your shoulder.

“Then you can buy it online or at a bookstore. It’s called Wildcard. I’ve heard it’s quite popular.” You open the door and gesture him to move. “Now come on, I think you’ve recovered from your choking hazard and I have more people I have to talk to.”

He puts his jacket back on and follows you back out into the decorated ballroom, mumbling about being left on a cliffhanger and what the frick was Chapter 57 and how you’re so mean to him, really princess, you can’t give your favorite escort a brief rundown?

You ignore him and link your arm through his again as you wade back into the room, getting called over almost immediately by your editor, who wants you to meet some more people.

~

At the end of the night, you take him to a secluded hallway in the hotel and pull the money out of your purse, watching him count it as you rub your arm nervously.

“Hey,” you say, and he looks up, raising an eyebrow. “I just, wanted to say, thanks… for saving my ass in there… you really did me a solid by being my date tonight.” You laugh and look away, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Well… you did hire me…” he trails off, tucking the cash into his coat pocket.

You blush. “I know, but still… thanks. I had a lot more fun than I thought I would.”

You flick your eyes to his briefly and he looks around the hall before striding forward and cupping the back of your neck, kissing you.

You gasp in surprise and he easily slips his tongue in. You find yourself clutching at the lapels of his coat as he deepens the kiss, his other hand sliding up the side of your thigh, under your dress.

You pull back and look at him wide-eyed as he slides his hand up towards your panties. “Jin?”

He smirks and continues to slide his hand slowly up. “You overpaid. I thought you didn’t want me all night?”

You feel your cheeks redden, but your gaze can’t leave his face. “I-I just tipped you.”

He licked his lips and pressed them back to yours before kissing his way down your jaw. “I think you wanted a little…taste, baby” he whispered huskily as he nips at your neck.

I should turn away. I should push him off. It was just a tip… but OH what did he just do to my neck?? god, do it again..

You moan softly as he works his way down your neck and cups you through your panties. Your heart pounds against your chest as you choose to ignore your logical mind and do something you’ve never done before…

Oh, what the hell.

…just let it happen.

You spread your legs a little further for him and moan in his ear as he begins to rub you through your panties.

“So wet for me? Already? And here I thought you just hired me as pretty eye candy,” he grins against your neck as you grab his hair, tugging his mouth back to yours, desperate for something, anything.

He slides his fingers under the side of your panties and you bite his lip when he teases his fingers up and down your folds, sliding against your slick.

“Ooo, you’re a feisty one, I see,” he smirks and nips your mouth right back, sliding his fingers slowly against you.

You had never been this turned on in your life, despite having past boyfriends who had tried and a few hookups… but none of them had ever felt this good. Had made you feel this good.

“Jin,” you moan, bucking your hips into his hand. “More.”

“As you wish ma ’lady” he nips harshly at your neck and you yelp, but he quickly lavishes over it with his tongue, soothing as his finger drags your slick to your clitoris and he begins to circle it slowly.

The back of your head hits the hallway wall, exposing more of your neck to Jin’s lips as you have to bite your own hand to stifle your moans when he slips a finger inside you.

He moans against your neck and pulls away from it with a pop, resting his forehead against your own.

“God, y/n, you’re so tight,” he whispers, pumping his finger in and out of you and then adding a second.

You buck your hips against his hand and he beings to curl his fingers up, grazing your sweet spot so deliciously as he begins to make out with you again to soften your moans.

He works you like this for a little while and you start keening, panting his name into his mouth while your hands clutch at his hair and shoulders to keep your balance standing up.

It’s all so much, too much, for someone who hasn’t been touched like this in years, and you find yourself burying your face into his chest when he presses his thumb to your clit with just the right amount of pressure and you come hard over his fingers, moaning his name.

He works you through your orgasm and as you come down you blush red again, realizing that you just let an escort, that you paid for, get you off in a back hotel hallway.

You hide in his shirt a few moments longer, trying to breathe until he gently pushes you off his chest and slides his fingers out from your underwear. You pull back, your hands still on his shoulders and he smirks seductively as he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks, making you blush harder.

He then shoves that hand in his pocket and backs away from you, giving you a two-fingered salute with his other hand.

“See you around, y/n. That was fun.”

He winks and turns, strolling out of the hotel doors, leaving you open-mouthed, panting, and wondering why that had been the best orgasm you’d ever had.

~~

Part 2

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flowerfan2 · 4 years

Text

Affinity - Ch. 18 (10.18)

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McDanno, A03, 10.18

A continuous story of season 10 episode codas. Steve may describe their relationship as a dysfunctional marriage, but at some point, will he and Danny take a closer look at what it really could be? (The answer is yes).

And a note: It’s my opinion that Steve was clearly joking with Danny about having a date with the “cute vet.” Emma told Steve just a few weeks ago that she was seeing someone else; Steve is just being a little shit and teasing Danny. And of course, no date actually happens - instead, they end up at Rick’s bar, bickering over how Steve hasn’t brought his wallet with him for ten years... (But I didn’t watch next week’s trailer and I don’t want to... who knows...)

Chapter 18

Steve sits in his truck, putting off the inevitable. Usually he’s happy to pull into his driveway, especially when he knows Danny is in his house, probably getting dinner ready or checking out what’s new on his favorite delivery app. But not right now.

It’s not like Steve can put it off much longer. As soon as Danny sees his face, Danny’s going to know something’s wrong. He might as well man up and get it over with.

Inside, he can smell tomato sauce bubbling on the stove – they’re eating in tonight, then. Steve’s not sure if this is better or worse. Danny will be in a good mood, but that just means he has further to fall.

Of course, this assumes Danny will be upset about Steve’s news. He might actually be relieved, but that thought just makes Steve ache even more, so he pushes it aside.

“Hey, dinner will be ready soon, but I forgot to get salad stuff – if you really want it, you have time for a quick trip to the store.” Danny comes out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. “Personally I’m fine without it, but I know how you feel…” Danny’s voice trails off as he sees Steve. “What’s wrong?”

Steve slumps over to the couch. That was fast even for Danny. “Why does something have to be wrong?”

Danny just gives Steve a look and sits down in the chair next to Steve, tossing the dish towel on the coffee table. His white t-shirt is a little damp, and he’s wearing his most comfy shorts, the ones that look like he hacked off an old pair of sweatpants. It’s Danny at his cuddliest, and Steve wants to grab him and never let go. But now, sadly, is not the time.

“You met with the governor this afternoon, right? So tell me what happened? Did your grenade budget get cut again?” Danny’s trying to keep his voice light, but he’s caught on to Steve’s mood, and he knows there’s more to it than the annual argument over Five-0’s outrageous expenses.

“No, nothing like that.”

“So what, then?” Danny scoots forward. “Tell me, come on.”

Steve sighs. “It was the most incredibly awkward meeting of my life. Possibly of anyone’s life.”

Danny perks up. “Really?”

“Don’t get so excited.”

“Come on, such drama - it’s got to be good.”

“Not so much.”

Danny waits, and when Steve doesn’t elaborate, he hits him on the arm. Kind of hard.

“Ow.”

“Spill.”

“Fine. We talked about Junior and Tani.”

Danny’s posture immediately changes, his shoulders tightening. “What about Junior and Tani?”

“Their relationship. Apparently the powers that be are not pleased.”

Danny springs out of his chair and starts pacing. “What the hell? There’s nothing wrong with them being together – it’s no one’s business – it’s certainly not the Governor’s business-”

“It is, really,” Steve says. “One, there’s a no fraternization rule-”

“Since when do you care about rules?”

“Two, it could create a legal problem. Three, it could create a morale problem.” He’s counting off on his fingers, trying to remember what the Governor – and the Governor’s lawyers – said. “Oh yeah, four, appearance of impropriety.”

“Appearance of – how is that any different than a morale problem?” Danny’s trying not to shout, Steve can tell, but he wouldn’t blame him if he did. Steve got all his shouting out back at City Hall.

“Morale among the team, versus appearance to the public,” Steve recites.

Danny’s waving his arms, practically vibrating with anger. “That’s not going to happen, morale on the team is fine, we’re all happy for them, they’re adorable, they’re just kids, what the hell kind of rule is this-”

“Danny, come on. This isn’t news. We always knew it could be a problem.”

“They don’t even report to each other,” Danny protests.

“And that’s the only thing that saved them from being transferred off Five-0. But the Governor still isn’t happy – if either one of them becomes, what was the word, disgruntled, they could sue.”

“For what? What would they sue for?”

Steve rubs his face. “Sexual harassment, or retaliation. Say they break up, and then Junior gets pissed because he thinks Tani is getting better assignments, and he accuses someone on the team of being mad at him because they blame him for the break-up. Or they’re on the rocks, and one of them pushes too hard, and the advance is unwelcome.”

“That’s not going to happen, not with them.”

“What if they’re together, and their judgement is affected, and someone gets hurt on a case?”

Danny frowns, and Steve imagines he’s running through all the times they did crazy-ass things for each other, taking arguably unwarranted risks with people’s lives. “You really think two people have to be bumping uglies for that to happen?”

“No, but making that point really wasn’t going to help their case.”

Danny deflates. “What happens now? Can they still work together?”

“If they sign a love contract.”

“A what?”

“A love contract,” Steve repeats. “A statement acknowledging that the relationship is voluntary and consensual, that they’re free to end it, they will abide by the sexual harassment policy, and a bunch of other legal crap.”

“That sounds ridiculous.”

“And I have to bring them in to the City lawyer’s office tomorrow and sit there while they say the same thing.”

There’s a long pause, and then Danny gets up and goes back into the kitchen. “Gotta make sure nothing’s burning,” he says, tossing the towel over his shoulder.

Long minutes go by, and Danny doesn’t come back out into the living room. Steve has a hunch as to why. He pulls out his phone and checks his email, giving Danny a few more minutes to process, and then follows him into the kitchen.

Danny’s chopping basil by the sink, and Steve grabs a leaf and pops it in his mouth.

“Hey, cut it out, you’ll lose a finger,” Danny says tensely, his eyes firmly fixed on his task.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Fuck off,” Danny says, “you know what I’m thinking.”

“Yeah, but it’s easier to respond if you actually say something.”

Danny puts the knife down and turns towards Steve, leaning on the counter behind him. “I report to you,” he says.

“Technically, yes.”

“So even with a love contract, that wouldn’t be enough. We can’t date.”

“The topic didn’t come up, obviously. But… yeah, I get the feeling that it might be a harder sell than Tani and Junior.”

Danny doesn’t respond, but he digs his phone out of his shorts and swipes around for a few seconds, then hands it to Steve.

It’s showing a reservation for dinner tomorrow night. For two. For the briefest of moments, Steve wonders if Danny has met someone. Then he sees the name of the restaurant, one his favorites, the Beach House in Haleiwa.

Steve can’t do anything but stare at Danny, who takes his phone back and shoves it into his pocket. “We both have off tomorrow. Figured we’d do something together. Go for a hike, maybe. Have dinner. You wouldn’t even have to iron a shirt.”

“Danny… is this…?” Steve doesn’t want to ask, can’t quite form the words. It’s been weeks of limbo, weeks of Steve trying so hard to wait patiently, telling himself that he’ll be okay no matter what Danny decides, that they’ll both be okay, that their friendship can handle whatever comes next. Joking about pretend dates with other people that Danny knows will never happen, just to try to take the pressure off Danny. Being the very best friend he can be, always. It’s been hard, but Steve hasn’t stopped hoping, hasn’t stopped wanting. He’s not sure he can.

“Yeah, it’s a date,” Danny says, and Steve feels his heart skip a beat. “Anyway, it was supposed to be. I wanted to take you out. Tell you I’m ready, if you still want… this.” Danny looks up at Steve, his eyes imploring. “I’m ready, I want to - but now – how can we…?”

Steve presses his lips together, his mind racing to come up with anything convincing, any way to persuade Danny that the Governor’s new-found interest in Five-0’s interpersonal relationships isn’t going to be the fatal blow to their reunion. It’s hard to think straight, though, over the pounding of his heart.

“You really want us to be together?” Steve asks, his hands trembling at his sides. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure, but-”

That’s all Steve needs. With a sharp inhale, the rest of the world disappears, and all he can see is Danny. “Forget about the Governor,” Steve says firmly, stepping into Danny’s space, crowding him up against the counter. “Do you trust me?”

Something shifts in Danny’s expression, and when he speaks, his voice is tender. “I do, Steve.”

“Then kiss me.”

Danny tilts his head, then brings his hand to the back of Steve’s head and pulls him close. Danny’s lips are soft, and his mouth is warm, and Steve feels almost mesmerized by his touch. He slides his hands around Danny’s shoulders, feeling the strength of his muscles bunching under his t-shirt, and ends the kiss with a sigh.

Danny pulls back just enough to look at Steve, his eyes sparkling. “So we’re gonna do this again, are we?”

“Yeah. I won’t fuck it up this time, I-”

Danny cuts him off with another kiss, and Steve laughs against his mouth. “No more apologies,” Danny says into the air between them. “We’re good.” Danny moves closer and kisses him again, and this time he presses harder, opening his mouth and finding his way into Steve’s. Danny’s got one hand on his waist, and Steve’s gripping Danny’s t-shirt, and they kiss until they have to pause for breath, panting and grinning and generally feeling altogether wonderful.

Steve’s still not sure how they’re going to avoid getting fired, but right now, he simply doesn’t care. He’s got Danny back in his arms, and that’s what’s important.

#mcdanno #H50 #Hawaii Five-O #H50 fic #Steve McGarrett #Danny Williams

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ificouldau · 4 years

Text

Section 2 - Chapter 10

> 88% of you chose to trust the stranger.

12% of you chose to go to the police.

You nod back towards the older man with a firm glare, Seungcheol crossing his arms disapprovingly as you speak.

“I trust him,” You mutter, and Seungkwan heaves a heavy sigh of relief. The boy quickly turns on his heel and marches straight back to the stranger’s side, with Minghao following right along. The other boys mindlessly trail behind them with the exception of an expected few.

“Really?” Wonwoo frowns, eyes full of disapproval beneath his glasses. Mingyu and Jihoon stand by him, all three frozen in their positions for a second before hesitantly heading off to follow their friends ahead.

( -1 Reputation: Wonwoo, Mingyu, Woozi )

With a crowd of twelve shielding the stranger from sight, you turn back to Coups, now the only one standing apart from the group with you. He rests a hand firmly on your shoulder, taking a slow second to look you in the eyes with a hard, warning stare.

“You better be right this time,” He says coldly. A chill runs down your back as he turns away and heads back towards the others, leaving you to stand alone. You pause in thought for just a moment before hurrying to join the other thirteen.

( -1 Reputation: S.Coups )

By the time you’ve reached the backs of the taller boys before you, they’re already turning back to head into the city. You barely have any time to understand what’s going on as they all allow the older man to lead the way.

“Where are we going?” You whisper to Junhui, trotting along at the back of the group. He leans down a bit to match your height, mouthing ‘I don’t know’ before straightening up and heading forward without another word. You fiddle with your fingers nervously, praying with everything in you that trusting this man was the best - the only - move to be made.

In just a few moments, you find yourself battling a hundred emotions, facing the sight of civilization and buildings that feel a little too much like home for the first time in days.

Markets and storefronts, street signs and parked cars, families full of chatter strolling peacefully along the sidewalks. The older man walks steadily at the front of the group as you all glance around in awe, as if it were the first time anyone had seen a city. The air falls oddly quiet the further you all tread along, and after a short walk past the police station, the old man slows to a stop. You all look up at the sight of an old little building, two short stories of dark brick and freshly cleaned windows shielded by curtains from the inside. As Mingyu pulls open the door for the group to pass through, you take note of the sign above it, a chipped paint job reading ‘Seong’s Inn’ in white.

The older man leads the group through one of the many doors along the hallway, and you all pile into the room without a word. As you glance about the old kitchen cabinets and clean sweeped wood floors, the stranger clicks the door shut and gestures for you to gather around.

“I’m Mr. Seong,” He says as a tired Jeonghan eases himself into a kitchen chair, “I know what’s going on.”

“You don’t know anything that’s going on,” Wonwoo snaps, and Minghao bumps his arm warningly. Mr. Seong, rather than being insulted, relieves a soft chuckle and stares the boy challengingly in the eyes.

“I know you’re being chased by people in black cloaks,” He states calmly, “I know you followed the road and probably ran into the elders at the village, and I can bet you came from the old mansion at the top of the mountain too. If there’s anyone that knows what’s going on, I know for a fact it isn’t you.”

His harsh words send Wonwoo into immediate silence as the boy stands, glaring angrily, in his still position. This kidnapping is much bigger than the fourteen of you, and this complete stranger suddenly makes the fact loud and clear.

“Who are you?” Seokmin whispers. Everyone is visibly uneasy. Mr. Seong bows his head, glancing back at the door with a grimace as if making certain no one else is listening.

“If we were only a few years back,” He explains in a low tone, “I would’ve had you all in chains, that stupid cloak on, dragging you back to the mansion mercilessly like a goddamn monster… had I not opened my eyes.” You all let the man’s words sink, trying with great difficulty to process what it all means. Mr. Seong stares down at the floor and shakes his head with heavy thought. “I’m not one of them anymore,” He says softly, “I was lucky to get away. Changed my name, changed my life… obviously I didn’t get very far, but they haven’t found me yet. You’re all just bloody footprints for them to follow, to lead them to me after hiding for all these years, but I couldn’t just leave you all out there in the cold… to be found, to be hurt, to… to-”

The man presses a palm to his chest, eyes shut tight as if reliving his trauma. You almost feel like tearing up at the sight, but he shakes his head and glances back up at you all with pained eyes before anyone can react.

“Rest here,” He mutters with a weakened smile, “It’s my biggest room. No one ever really rents it out. Three bedrooms, food in the kitchen… oh, and a TV. I know you’ve all missed that.”

The boys share wide eyes and a few quiet gasps, quick to gather on the old green couch and turn on the television, some racing for the bathroom and others for the fridge like children. You chuckle at the sight, readier than ever to head for a nap, when you feel a gentle hand grab your forearm.

“He wants to talk to us,” You turn your head to see Vernon nodding towards an empty bedroom, where Mr. Seong’s headed off on his own already. It’s the first time in a while the boy’s ever said much to you, but you follow him into the room and close the door behind you despite the strangeness of it all.

Mr. Seong sits in deep thought upon a worn wooden chair in the corner, chin rested in one hand and the other gesturing for you and Hansol to sit. You cautiously take a seat on the empty bed with a creak as Vernon finds his own beside you. Both of you are clueless, and oddly a bit nervous, as Mr. Seong begins to speak.

“You two…” He says with a shaky voice, leaning forward in his seat, “You’re so grown up, yet my eyes never deceive me…”

Vernon glances at you uneasily, and you share the same expression back. Still, the older man continues. “It’s… I mean- I can’t believe you’re still alive. Your... How… How are your fathers?”

“What do you want from us?” You snap unknowingly, tense at the mention of your absent parent. Even Hansol seems angry, but you’re too caught up in your own irritation to fully notice it. Mr. Seong shuts his mouth tight, clenching his fist as if scolding himself for bringing it up at all. He rises to his feet after a minute of thought, heading towards the door without another word. You and Vernon stare, brows furrowed, frozen still in annoyance as the man slowly walks past. As he reaches for the handle, he stops and looks for a second, pure worry and longing in his eyes that almost pulls the anger right out of you.

“I’m sorry,” He mutters, “I’ll see you all tomorrow… but please know that no matter what-“

He points a steady finger at you both.

“-You two must stick together.”

The door clicks closed in a split second and before you know it, Mr. Seong is gone. Vernon heaves a deep sigh beside you before standing up and heading out without a word, and you follow, your head a mess of confusion, and fear, and annoyance. The first time you’ve ever gotten to sit with Vernon, and learn anything about him other than him being the boy in the garage, but it’s all far too strange and impossible to understand.

“Guys-“ You begin upon walking out into the living room, only to pause at the sight of them gathered around the television with wide eyes. They’re watching the news channel, and-

“...missing for more than 72 hours, all of Korea is on the hunt for these boys the world knows and loves as Seventeen.”

The screen fades from the reporter speaking to a picture of thirteen familiar faces, smiling in clean clothes with hair done up nicely like you’d never imagined before. After so many nights of seeing their grimy faces through a blur of trees and snow, it’s almost as if the boys on screen aren’t the ones sitting, longingly, before your eyes.

They huddle together like lost children, heads rested upon one another’s shoulders comfortingly, and you feel just as left out as you had back at the mansion. In fact, you feel even more excluded now, judging by the fact that the world is searching high and low for these thirteen while no one has likely lifted a finger yet for you.

“I tried to call the company,” Coups announces over the staticky words onscreen, stood by the kitchen counter with a telephone in his hand, “but the line went dead before I could talk.”

“Let me try,” Joshua volunteers, quick to take the boy’s place in dialing. The boys surely feel defeated again, clear through their frowns and worried glares. Still, you’re safe, and you’re hidden, at least for now. You have food, and beds, and somewhere to be for the time being until you’re found. Hope isn’t lost… at least not yet.

“Hey,” A familiar voice calls from behind you. Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest in surprise at the sight of Junhui, smiling down at you fondly with hands crossed behind his back.

“You scared me, you fuck,” You whisper as he chuckles and pulls an old board game out from behind him.

“You and me versus Vernon and Mingyu,” He says excitedly, holding the box up to your eye level for you to see. You’re astonished at the way the kid’s mind works, especially while a missing persons poster of his face flashes onscreen, but can’t find yourself rejecting or accepting the offer as he’s already grabbed your arm and is pulling you to the kitchen table to play.

Hours pass, and as night falls, you’re feeling full and rested and oddly happy, almost as if you’re on a trip with friends rather than hiding from a thousand murderers on an unknown mountain.

“Get to bed,” Seokmin jokes as your eyes begin closing on the old couch, Minghao curled up by your side and Junhui for whatever reason knocked out on the carpet. Seokmin kindly guides you to one of the rooms, one that you find they’ve kept empty so you can have a good night’s rest. You thank him, and almost as soon as he closes the door behind you, wind up drifting off into sleep with high hopes that you’d wake up to helicopters and your mother beckoning for you to come home.

Instead, you awaken to panicked commotion and the bedroom door wide open as Mr. Seong meets your eyes.

“Hide, hide!” He whispers harshly, grabbing your arm as you rise to your feet and forcing you to crawl beneath the wire bed frame. You’re groggy, and can barely pick up on anything that’s going on, but notice the boys outside running amuck and positioning themselves in closets, behind counters, underneath furniture... wherever they can hide.

It’s chaos all of a sudden, and Mr. Seong paces the floor in terror after yanking Vernon into your room and forcing him beside you underneath the bed.

‘What’s going on?’ You mouth, eyes wide in horror as Mr. Seong clicks the bedroom door shut.

‘I don’t know,’ Hansol replies in the quietest voice possible, but you’re soon interrupted by quick, heavy knocks on the front door.

You hear it swing open, and an unfamiliar husky voice immediately sends you into a state of panic.

“Where are they?” The voice growls, as Mr. Seong shakily replies.

“What are you talking about?”

“I know you had them… where did you send them?”

“Who? Please, I don’t know what this is about-“

Mr. Seong’s voice is cut off by a muffled gurgle, as if someone had grabbed the elderly man by the throat. The sound of it forces horrified tears out of your eyes, and you clasp a shaky hand over your mouth.

“Tell me,” The deep voice demands.

“Just let me talk to the others,” Mr. Seong says through choked words, “I can help you look for them-“

“Tell me.”

“Please, I don’t know where they are, please-!”

Rather than a scream, the conversation is cut off by a disgustingly pained gurgle, the evident sound of the old man being choked.

Then follows a loud silence, and tears fall faster than ever at the realization.

Slow, heavy footsteps echo throughout the entire home for a long minute before the door swings open again and slams shut, calling for another booming silence to fill the air around you.

You cry to yourself, as quietly as you possibly can, until the bedroom door swings open and Chan stumbles in.

“Chan.” Vernon gasps, hurrying to stand as you slowly rise to your feet beside him.

The younger boy is hysterical, tears streaming down his face as Hansol pulls him into a tight hug. “I was in the kitchen… I watched it… They killed him, Vernon, oh God, they killed him-“

Mr. Seong lies limp and lifeless on the wooden floor beside the couch, his neck reddened and swollen, eyes wide open in his final moments of life. He died because of you, his last day on Earth having been spent saving you all from the same fate. Guilt stabs at your heart, and so does sorrow, and loss, and fear, all at once.

The boys gradually leave their hiding spots, hands to their chests and eyes teary as they make their way towards Mr. Seong’s body.

“We have to go.” A familiar voice calls by one of the bedroom doors. It’s Wonwoo, arms crossed, staring down at the corpse with sorry eyes as he leans against the threshold.

“Why?” You ask.

“I was hiding by the door. I heard them in the hall. They're coming back, and probably soon.”

“Then we have to leave, now,” Coups agrees. Wonwoo jabs a thumb over his shoulder at the room behind him.

“There’s a back window here,” He says, “but where are we supposed to go?”

Soonyoung crosses his arms in thought, brows furrowed down at Mr. Seong as he speaks through shaky words. “We have to go back into the forest. There’s nowhere else.” “No, no… We can’t,” Seokmin whispers, his hands clutching his heart as tears stain his cheeks, “That’s where they keep finding us… we have to stay in the city.”

The thirteen sets of eyes glare up to meet yours once again, but before you can open your mouth to make a decision, Soonyoung rushes forward and grabs you by the shoulders. Your eyes widen in shock. He’s in pain, but he looks angry.

“You have to agree with me on this,” He says in a low tone, “There’s no way I’m putting this city in danger, too.” Seokmin shakes his head in terror. “Please, no... I can’t go back into the forest. I can’t.”

You meet Soonyoung’s threatening glare, and then Seokmin’s panicked eyes, feeling guilt for either side as you’ve come to a final decision once again.

- Go into the forest.

or

- Go into the city.

( Vote now on instagram.com/ificould_au. You have 24 hours. )

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