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wolfoftheblackflames · 1 month

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Hello again my misfits. I feel like I've been neglectin' the other ships as of late. So here's one just for you ^^

The Inventor and the Explosive Expert:

It had been a week since Sir Pentious was brought into the hotel. The snake man smiled at his minions as the idiots worked on cleaning his room. "Oh, once you're done with that, I'd like to go into the city for an errand." He stated as Frank saluted.

"Yess sir boss!" The egg replied as he scurried away.

Sir Pentious usually took his blimp, but the thing has been having engine problems. He casually strolled into town since it did feel good to go for a walk every so often. He hummed casually, his head swaying a bit. "Huh?" He blinked hearing an explosion.

"Ha eat shit cock sucker!" A voice boomed as Sir Pentious started to fluff up his frills slightly. He knew the owner of that wonderful Australian accent. Cherri Bomb was seen shoving another bomb into a gunman's mouth and jumping off as it exploded the fool.

The snake demon watched the cyclops in awe. He always loved her brilliant explosive contraptions. He, however, noticed someone trying to ambush her from behind. "Missss Cherri Bomb, look out!" Sir Pentious shouted, alerting the cyclops bombshell.

"Oh, thanks for the heads up, old man!" Cherri grinned as she punched the ambusher. Soon the skirmish ended with the losers running or dead as Cherri laughed dusting herself off.

"Hey Angie did ya get those other fuckers?!" She smirked seeing Angel Dust having a blast with his guns.

"Yep, but looks like there's some more headin' our way!"

"Ah shit, we'd better split up to get those fucks disoriented. I'll meet cha back at your hotel, alright!' Cherri smirked as Angel gave a thumbs up. "C'mon old man!" She grabbed the snake demon to drag him out of the battle zone. But before she could, Sir Pentious dropped a disk like object on the ground.

"What, hey!" He blinked but followed.

"Follow the boss!" Frank ordered as the eggs scurried after the two.

Once out of danger Cherri sighed in relief. "I hate runnin' but those assholes wouldn't quit." She muttered annoyed.

"I left them something fun to deal with for you." Sir Pentious smiled as an explosion was heard. "It's a ssimple contraption but effective when ussed during chaosss." He grinned doing a playful bow.

"Not bad old fart.." Cherri chuckled but hissed softly. The cyclops growled, seeing one of those bullets had grazed her arm. "Fuck.."

Sir Pentious blinked but searched his coat and grumbled. He then smirked, stealing some cloth from an overhang. "Can I wrap your injury, Missy?" He asked as Cherri gave him a 'dafuck' look. "I know you can probably jussst heal with eassse, but I can't sstand by while a young lady iss hurt."

Cherri gave him a skeptical look. "What ever floats your boat edgelord." She shrugged but let him wrap her left arm.

The egg bois yelped as one of them was cracked. "Finally caught up to you fucking bitch!" A bull looking sinner with a shotgun growled with steam coming out of his nose.

"How dare you crusssh one of my minionsss you boob!" Sir Pentious hissed, flaring up his yellow cobra like frills. "Now take thisss!" All his eyes soon emitted a hypnotic trance, forcing the bull to stumble and groan. The snake demon soon slithered over with speed and bit the bull in the neck, injecting the sinner with venom.

"Huh.." Cherri looked amused as the bull sinner started to uncontrollably vomit with Sir Pentious stealing the shot gun.

"A simpleton like you doesn't deserve mercy." The snake demon growled and shot the bull demon sending the sinner flying.

Cherri couldn't help but whistle. "Fuckin' hell mate, didn't know you could handle a gun?" She smirked as Sir Pentious shyly rubbed his neck.

"W-well I wanted to help you... Plus he destroyed one of my many minionsss!" The snake replied being awkward.

"C'mon shit for brains, let's meet up with Angie, eh?" Cherri motioned for him to follow.

The two ran through the back alleyways as soon they didn't have to look far to spy the pink spider demon. "Oh no, Angel Dusst is cornered."

Cherri smirked evilly as five sinners started to close in on Angel. "Got another one of 'em disks?" She asked as Sir Pentious nodded handing her one. "Good cause this is gonna be fun."

With his back against a wall, Angel smirked a bit with his tommy guns out of ammo. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say this is the start of a bad porno." He cheekily sneered.

He kept his eyes on the goons so as not to alert them to the duo on the buildings behind them. "Hehe a free fuck with the famous porn star? Sounds fun." One sinner who was an ugly slug moved forward.

"You limp dicks couldn't afford my sexy ass." Angel soon brought out his extra two arms and shot the group back with his fresh guns.

"Eat shrapnel cock suckers!" Cherri laughed maniacally tossing in her bombs with one of them attached to the disk. A row of explosions wiped out the first two while the disk one caused a bigger one to pretty much turn the other three into mince meat.

Sir Pentious watched in awe seeing her using his work. "Impresssive Misss Bomb." He grinned watching Cherri jump down. "O-oh uh... I'll usse the sstairsss.."

The snake demon came down to Cherri, clapping Angel Dust on the back with a grin. "Well fuck, it seems like that hotel hasn't made ya soft yet."

"Hey I'm still down for blasting holes into some fucks head sugar tits." The spider replied retracting his third set of arms. "C'mon bet little miss princess and Vagina are getting their panties in a twist right now." He laughed amused.

Sir Pentious slithered over as his Eggs followed. "Mind if I join you?" He asked giving a friendly toothy smile.

"Eh sure." Cherri shrugged looking at Angel.

"Why the fuck not." The spider also shrugged as the unlikely trio made their way back to the Hotel.

And yes, Vaggie was incredibly pissed about it since it was on the news, and Charlie was just a cute sobbing mess to see they're ok.

(Hope you guys liked this one, it got stuck in my head plus I figured I'd give Cherrisnake a go.)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #angel dust #sir pentious #cherrisnake #cherri bomb #lots of swearing #the big booms

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slopdoughnut · 3 months

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❗️❗️❗️AHHHH HAZBIN HOTELLLLLL SPOILERS❗️❗️❗️

THIS SHIT IS VAUGLY COLOR CODED (LOTS of emphasison VAUGLY)

Red: alastor

Orange: lucifer

Pink: Charlie

Blue: Sir Pentious (have mercy on the spelling its so late and im fucking tired)

Purple: lilith (very briefly mentioned, like one sentence)

Green: Nifty

Vox, Valentino, and adam also have colors just to point out their names, it's based on their color scheme

White text is my ramblinggggg

ALASTOR SAYING FUCK

TWICE???

And his little "wait, what just happened?"

HIM TELLING ADAM HE WAS GONNA KILL HIM

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT FIGHT SCENE

YES EVEN THE PARTS WHERE ALASTOR GOT HURT (very vaguely actually, I dont want him to get hurt) BECAUSE WE GOT MORE LORE FROM IT

"Wait, what did I say?"

Lucifer you are SUCH a fucking mood

I ALWAYS FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID TWO SECONDS AGO TOOO

Coming in clutch to save your daughter

AND THAT SICK ASS DEMON FORM FUCK YES

CHARLIE DEMON FORM HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAA WHEN SHE CAUGHT ADAMS HAND??????

HER TAIL HAS BARBS AT THE BASEEEEE

WE ALL SAW THE THEORY ABT ONE OF THEM GOING TO HEAVEN BUT ALSO NOOOOO SIR PENTIOUS

LILITH WTF ARE YOU DOING????

HAHA FUCK YOU ADAM

ALASTOR GOING CRAZY OVER HIS DEAL I BET HE COULD HAVE DONE MORE BUT HES BEING STOPPED

WHO IS HOLDING BACK HIS POWERRRRRRRRRR

I NEED TO KNOW

ALASTOR LAST NAME REVEALED AHHHHH

I NEEEEEEED MORE ALASTOR CONTENT PLS PLS PLS PLS

THE DEMON FORMS WE SAW WITH ALASTOR ARE INSANE

I KNOW YALL SAW MY THEORY ABT HIM WANTING CHARLIE TO GET HIM HIS SOUL BACK

THAT FAVOR HE ASKED FOR??? UHUHHHH MMMMHM!!!! YOU SEE WHAT IM SEEING????

SPEAKING OF HIS DEAL WITH CHARLIE

ALASTORS DEAL MAKING FACE WAS INSANEEEEE

WHO HAD THAT IDEA FOR A FIC ABOUT ALASTOR NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEAK WITHOUT HIS STAFF???? NOW IS YOUR TIME GIRLIE (thats a gender neutral girly thank you very much)

IT BEING SHOWN HE CAN TALK WITHOUT IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING THE FIC WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER YOU KNOW AO3 WILL LOVE IT BESTIE

NIFTY FUCK YEA KILL THAT BITCH

LUCIFER TELLING HIM HES GOT SOMETHING RIGHT THERE (coming out of his stomach) LMAOOOO

I FUCKING KNEW IT VOX AND VALENTINO WERE TONGUE FUCKING EACHOTHER

Pls oml SOOOO SOOOOO much happened

Maybe I'll talk more when I'm not whacked out of my fucking mind at 2- (now 3 when if finishing this up) -AM

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veryferaldistributions · 8 months

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Just saw “Barbie.” And I really enjoyed it. It’s an amazing movie. Everything said about it is true.

But…I just…

Is it too much to ask for the Wheelchair Barbie to have ONE line? One. Singular. Solitary. Line. I want to be happy she’s there, I want to be the good little minority that smiles and is just grateful to see ONE goddamn disabled character in a popular piece of media. But I’m just not!

I want MORE for disabled characters!

I want MORE for disabled viewers!

I wanted her to fucking TALK to the other goddamn Barbies! Hell, put her in the weird house with the outcast Barbies! That’s accurate! Wheelchair Becky (the first disabled Barbie) was discontinued because her chair didn’t fit in the Dreamhouse. Gee, thanks Mattel!

IT IS SAD THAT I HAVE TO BEG FOR ONE FUCKING LINE FOR THE DISABLED BARBIE! IN 2023!

Especially in a movie built on being about representation and identity and gender and finding yourself!

Again, I am so fucking tired of being the minority among the minorities.

#rant #disabilities #physical disability #barbie #representation #anger #banging my head against a pole #i am tired #swearing #lots of swearing #so much fucking swearing #piss off #i am exhausted

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gabriel-shutterson · 1 year

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I’m gonna go on a tangent.

I HATE Frankenstein’s perception by media.

And I don’t mean the old movies with “Doctor” Frankenstein, or an unintelligible creature. I hate those too, but that’s not what I’m going on about now.

I hate what that media has created.

I’ve seen several instances of it TODAY. The “Victor Frankenstein is the monster” shit. The “haha funny man is a college dropout” shit.

No.

What’s nice about the tight-knit Frankenstein fandom is that we read the fucking book, likely multiple times, and analyze it for fun. Unfortunately, this is not the case for 99% of the population.

People have developed a superiority complex regarding classic literature, and it PEEVES the shit out of me. They pretend to know what they’re talking about by stating, in a “mockingly” pretentious manner (sometimes even through memes, goddammit!!) that Victor is an asshole.

Yeah, if you’ve read a solid chapter of the book, you’ll know he’s not a perfect person. But, goddamn, nobody is! Victor was suffering from some severe mental health issues (another in-depth post about this coming out in the future), and was clearly sheltered to the point where he wasn’t entirely aware of how responsibility is supposed to work. Not to mention, his parents expected a LOT out of him (likely part of the reason he reached his breaking point) and caused him to become a maladaptive perfectionist, a main bit of the reason he abandoned his creature.

“But Jenny, that’s just one interpretation-“ how is it an interpretation if it’s right in the fucking text??? If you actually READ THE BOOK, you’ll know that Victor is simply a flawed person, just like Adam.

The entire CONCEPT of a monster in that book is RIDICULOUS, and anyone playing favorites is not analyzing the book in a correct way. Victor fucked up. Adam fucked up as well. Both of them made life-altering mistakes. Get over it, don’t shit on one character or the other.

And as for the college dropout shit, fuck off. I get it, he’s not a doctor and media has made him out to be way more. But if you’re actually using the “um, actuAlly, Frankenstein wasn’t a doctor” argument to make yourself sound smart in the year of our Lord 2022, grow the hell up!

I just. Ugh. All I’m trying to say is, if you aren’t planning on analyzing the text, don’t pretend to be an expert on it. If you vaguely know about Frankenstein from outside media, or have skimmed over it, please stop. It’s ridiculous, and your contributions are actually creating a modern “Frankenstein was the doctor.” You’re creating misinformation about a book that some people actually put energy into enjoying.

#long post #nonlaconic rambles #lots of swearing #frankenstein #gothic lit #victor frankenstein #I’m exhausted with this shit #this is honestly kind of incoherent but I needed to vent

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moonfang256 · 1 year

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After listening this video so many times:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UjWwMtrETk

This came to my mind:

#cogdis #niiue #alinivar #col. saturn #larice #zarbol #oh boy #what have I done?#captain look #lots of swearing

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squash1 · 2 years

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adam: ronan got into a fight with an ikea cabinet this morning…

ronan: yeah but i totally won the fight.

gansey: how do you “win” a fight with a cabinet??

ronan: pretty sure the cabinet is together despite all of its efforts to Sabotage me. that makes me the winner and it the loser.

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marvelwitchergilmore · 2 years

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A Soldier in Montana

Summary; Butcher knocks out Soldier Boy and so he finds himself in the middle of nowhere with a woman who isn’t like most women he’s met before...

Warning: Swearing, mentions of death etc.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Whoa, hey, easy there Soldier."

He turned to look at her. Last he remembered he was in the middle of the city. Where was he now?

"Where am I?"

"On a ranch in Montana."

"Montana?"

The woman nodded. "Montana."

"Listen doll, I don't know who you are-"

"Sophia."

"Excuse me?"

"The name's Sophia. Not doll. Not sweetheart. Not darling. Sophia. I have a name. I'd prefer it if you used it."

Soldier was confused. He didn't really know what to say. He'd usually say something but she was a lady and he didn't know where he was so if he had any chance in getting out, it was her.

"What's yours?"

"What?"

Sophia rolled her eyes. "You're name, Soldier. What's your name?"

"Ben."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Ben."

"Where am I?"

"Montana. I told you." Sophia repeated. "Now, if you just sit down, I can check you over and make sure you're not dying. I don't know about you but I'd rather not have to bury your body in the backyard."

He had no other option, so he did as she said.

"Good."

"How did I get to Montana?"

"Butcher." Sophia told him. "They were the one's that woke you up in Russia. You exploded a building in Midtown so he tracked you down and knocked you out with some gas he picked up in the lab. He didn't really know where else to take you since Vaught's looking for the one who did the damage, so, here you are.”

"I need to go back."

However, as he went to stand up, Sophia's arm went across his chest and he was pushed back onto the bed.

"No, you don't, Soldier."

"How the fuck did you just do that?"

No-one ever had the strength to push Ben down. Ever. Not even those who were on his team. He was always the strongest. Always the one who could practically move mountains compared to the rest of them. And she'd just knocked him back onto his ass.

"That's for me to know, and for you to never found out."

"What are you? Are you a Supe? Answer me.”

Suddenly a hand was at her throat, nearly choaking the life out of her. Thankfully, however, Butcher strolled in through the bedroom door.

"Whoa, at ease Soldier. She's on our team."

He looked to Butcher for a few moments before finally dropping Sophia back to her feet.

"Nice timing."

"You're welcome." Butcher said before taking something out of the brown paper bag in his arms. "Got what you wanted."

From his bag he chucked over a packet of dish towels and a bag of ice.

"Thanks."

"You mind?" She asked, turning to Ben.

Slowly, she placed the cold wrapping to his cheek. Only now did he realise he had a small bruise to his cheek. He never bruised.

"Yeah, sorry about that Lad. It took a while before you'd go to sleep." Butcher explained before looking back to Sophia. "Oh, and here. They didn't have your usual so I got you what was left."

Butcher chucked her a tub of mint ice-cream before throwing her a bag of chocolate chips, one's she wasn't expecting so naturally as she looked up, they hit her in the face.

"Ooh, sorry, Love."

"Thanks, Butcher." Sophia replied, her eyes still closed before she slowly opened them again and picked the bag of chocoalte chips from the floor. "And I thought I told you - It's Sophia."

"Oh, come off it. You love it when I call you love."

Sophia sighed and walked around the bed. "No. I hate it."

"Do you always keep a spoon in your bedside cabinate?" Butcher asked her as she found one.

"Always." Sophia told him. "For every Saturday movie night."

"You mean where you watch Connery as Bond from the 60s. Do you even like the new movies?"

"I...like them. It's just...okay, look, they're classics. Hey, last weekend me and Kimiko watched Singing in the Rain. So, it's not always Bond."

"Who are you people?"

Butcher turned to look towards Soldier Boy. "I'm what you'd call...an Agent of the people. You know, helping clean out all those corrupt cunts from Vaught tower. And, after what happened in Midtown, I'd figure you might need our help. Especially after what you did to Countess in her trailer. So, I propose this to you. I help you clean up the rest of your team who sent you to the Reds and you help me kill their Number one. Homelander."

It took a few minutes but he eventually agreed. Butcher would handle the rest of Team Payback - as much as he hated it, but he needed to recharge. But, hopefully by the time Butcher would be finished, he'd have enough power to kill Homelander and finish what Butcher started.

"So, you recooperate here and I'll be back in a couple of weeks."

However, as Butcher began to leave, Sophia realised what he just said. However, as she finally caught up to him, he was almost out of the front door.

"He - He can't stay here. He needs a trained professional. Not a...ranch owner with telekenetic powers."

"Hey, you're the only one out of us, or anyone, who has enough strength to handle him. So, it's either you or he blows up half of the country."

"What am I meant to do with him?"

"Teach him the ways of modern life." Butcher offered after a moment or two. "We both know he's gonna need it."

"Butcher, he's the 80s Homelander. Why are you working with him?"

"Because he's the only one who has enough power to perhaps kill the cunt. I owe that much to Becca."

"Becca wouldn't want you pumping your blood with green stuff."

"Green- How did you-"

"Are you kidding?" Sophia asked him. "I can practically smell the rotting flesh on you for down the road. And, you're brain's bleeding." She said, pointing to Butcher's ear. "It's slowly killing you and you might not like it, but I'd rather have you living than dead in a ditch somewhere because you just couldn't let this mission go."

Butcher didn't say anything else other than got into his car and said; "Just keep an eye on him. I'll be back in a couple of weeks."

Without another word, Billy pulled down the road leaving nothing but dust in his place.

"Guess I'll start making breakfast."

#solider boy #solider boy x oc #soldier boy x you #the boys #butcher #the boys season 3 #lots of swearing #soldier boy fanfiction #billy butcher #supe #montana #jensen ackles soldier boy #one-shot #becca butcher #death

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azzie-tangerine · 2 years

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If you say so my guy.

#I had this idea at 11pm and had to stop everything to do it #that's why the art is bad #kirby fanart #shitpost #mirror prince fluff #skirby #shadow kirby #since he's in the background lmao #lots of swearing #doodle

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nomoresunshine · 1 year

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It would seem a Private Investigator is on the case!

(I'm currently ill and have a sore troth but I can make a cool raspy voice. Had some fun with it and created a random character for visual aid.)

BG music: Paul Pritchard - "Gumshoe Blues"

#orc #fantasy #voice acting #lots of swearing

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cambria-writes · 2 years

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It is Sunday my dudes! Since I update AO3 on Sundays I figured I might do that here too. No idea if it’s been more or less than a week since last time but here you go. Thank you so much to everyone who left messages, replies and likes! And special thanks to @anothermunsonsimp for absolutely indulging and encouraging me, and to my BFF and BF for letting me talk their ears off for hours about fan theories and ADND 1st ed. pairing: eddie munsonx reader rating: PG13 for now, each chapter rated individually warnings: more guns, minor injuries, hella swearing, mention of (assumed) character death but only for like a second, Chrissy gets game-over’d sorry word count: 3,322

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊: 𝔊𝔞𝔱𝔢

You gave your phone number to the lot of them; Dustin, Mike, Steve and Robin. In return, you got their phone numbers as well, save for Mike’s. Not exactly like calling him in Hawkins would do much good if he wasn’t going to be around. The kids left for their club after that, and made sure they knew to let Eddie know you’d be waiting for him back at his place. You appreciate that they didn’t ask any questions, despite the fact that they had about a thousand of them written all across their faces.

“Anything happens,” Steve had said, putting a hand on your shoulder. “You call to let either of us know.”

Gripping the steering wheel of your car, you let your head fall forward at a red light. There’s a part of you that’s thrilled, sure; this is the most excitement you’d probably ever get in your life, living in a small town like Hawkins. But the knowledge of exactly how bad everything has been is equally terrifying. You didn’t bother asking, but it’s obvious that the lot of them have had way too many near-death encounters.

And then there’s Chief Hopper.

You nearly jump out of your skin when a car honks behind you. You hadn’t noticed the light had turned green. You floor it, making your way to the edge of town, toward the quarry. You need space to think, and barring the fact that the Fake Will Byers Body was found there, it seems to be the safest place to go.

Once you’re parked, you pull the walkman from your back seat, shoulder your duffel bag and make your way to the edge of the cliff overlooking the water. As you walk, you speed through half the tape to make it to The Killing Moon. That feels like it suits your mood well enough.

When you sit down, letting your legs hang over the edge of the cliff, you pull the pistol from the back of your waistband and hold it in both your hands.

From what you gathered from the extremely confusing conversation with the others, it doesn’t seem like a tiny handgun like this is going to be terribly useful if you end up plane shifting again. You kind of wish you’d brought the shotgun with you, though you know it makes more sense to have left it under your bed. There would be a lot of questions you’d have a hell of a hard time answering if someone spotted a god damn Winchester on your back seat.

You lean back to lie down, letting the Beretta rest on your chest and wonder if maybe you should try and find a way to rig, like, a flamethrower?

“God that sounds stupid,” you mutter to yourself, raising your arm to cover your eyes against the fading daylight.

What can you do if you end up in the Upside Down again? The only kind of fire you consistently have on you is a lighter, and you’re pretty sure that won’t do you much good against monsters with crazy speed and faces that open up like fleshy venus fly traps.

You let your fingers run along the barrel of your gun and try to decide what to do. The only real thing you feel would be useful is target practice, but you’re also not sure you want to risk someone hearing gunfire nearby and calling the cops. That, also, would require a lot of explaining you’re not sure you can convincingly manage.

By the time Ocean Rain starts playing, you still have no idea what to do with yourself and it’s got you on edge. You have no idea if you’ll ever end up in the Upside Down again, when the next nightmare is going to be, and if you should be trying to do anything right now. Whatever’s happening can’t be that bad, right? No one’s dead. That’s what you hold onto, for now.

Even if you can still feel the ghost of the vine wrapped around your ankle, you tell yourself that you didn’t die. You barely even got hurt. You don’t even know if you would have gotten hurt if you’d let it... well, yeah, being dragged down the stairs probably would’ve.

When the song ends, you feel around for your walkman and rewind the tape back to the beginning of The Killing Moon. For now, you can probably afford to kill time and chance a nap, while the afternoon sun still gives you some semblance of peace of mind. Then you can swing by your place, grab the shotgun, stash it in the trunk, and make your way to Munson’s place.

With that ghost of a plan in mind, you close your eyes and try to catch up on some of the sleep you’ve been missing out on.

Something’s off when you pull into Forest Hills. The hairs at the back of your neck are standing straight, and you can’t shake the feeling like there’s a hand always an inch away, ready to grab you. The dark of night was never really as scary as it is tonight.

And then you hear the clock chiming again.

You’ve just stepped out of your car when you notice that the front porch light is flickering. A quick look confirms that the lights inside are going crazy, too. You can barely remember Steve mentioning something about Christmas lights and the nightmare with hands coming out of the wall at the Byers’ place when you hear Eddie shouting from inside.

“Shit, shit, shit.” You use the wobbly railing to pull yourself to the door and jump over the steps altogether and burst through the door. When you race in, you can still hear him shouting.

“Chrissy, wake up now! Chrissy!”

“Ed, what the fuck is going on?!” You ask, finding him shaking the cheerleader with the shoulders.

She’s completely checked out, eyes milky white.

“Oh fuck, oh no,” you whine, rushing over and shoving Munson aside and grabbing the girl by the shoulders yourself. “What happened?!”

“I don’t know!” He shouts back, trying to drown out the sound of the flickering light bulbs. “She wanted to make a deal and when I came back here she was–”

You both look at your hands rising on Chrissy’s shoulders, and then down at her levitating feet.

“What the fuck–”

“Get out,” you say, turning on Eddie. “Get out, get out!“ You shout, shoving at his shoulder and trying to get him to move.

“We can’t just leave her here!”

“The fuck we can’t!“

You’re blessedly halfway to the front door when you hear a loud thud. When Eddie screams, you turn around to see him knocked to the ground and there she is: Chrissy Cunningham is somehow stuck to the ceiling, her face still impassive, eyes open wide and unblinking. You only manage to watch one of her arms snap before you put as much force as you can into dragging Munson out the damn door.

“Come on, we gotta get out of here!“ You shout, stumbling down the front steps. You don’t have enough time to right yourself before Eddie slips down and crashes into you. Yell at him to get in your car, and when you manage to stand, you pull the Beretta from your waist band.

“Why do you have a gun?!“

“Shut up and get in the fucking car, Munson!“

You don’t turn your back on the trailer and backstep to the driver’s side. You blindly reach for your keys and flick the safety off the gun with your other hand. Eddie shoves the car door open for you, and in a handful of seconds you twist the key in the ignition and peel out of the lot.

“What the fuck, what the fuck!“

Your hands are shaking and you’re clenching your teeth so hard your jaw aches. Henderson what fucking right, you fucking jinxed it, god damn it.

“What the fuck was that–”

“I don’t know, Eddie! Would you shut up for a second, I need to think!”

The only sound in the car is the engine and both of your heavy breathing. The first thing that comes to mind is to call Harrington, so you do your best to drive at a socially acceptable speed straight for your house. You’ll call him and go from there.

“We’re going to my place,” you announce, as evenly as you can manage. “I’ll call Harrington, he’ll–”

“Harrington? Steve Harrington? Have you lost your god damn mind?”

“Let me finish!“ You slam the steering wheel with your free hand, take a deep breath, and hand over the gun by the barrel. ”Turn the safety on. I’m gonna call Harrington, we’ll meet up with Robin and Henderson and we’ll figure shit out.“

“Henders-what the hell is going on? What the fuck do they have to do with this?” You spare Eddie a quick look; he’s left the gun in his lap and has both hands pulling at his hair with his head as close to his knees as he can manage.

“Honest to god you wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” you manage to say, through your teeth. With a hand on the wheel, you bounce your fist on your free leg. “I’m gonna have to ask you to just trust me on this.”

“I just saw a cheerleader fucking levitate and you’re asking me to trust you?“ He asks, with all the incredulity that, yeah, he’s entirely entitled to have, actually.

“Yeah, Munson,” you reply, taking a second to look at him head on. “I’m asking you to fucking trust me on this one.”

When you make it to your place, you don’t really park so much as you haphazardly get your car in the driveway. Tell Eddie, when you pop the trunk open, to grab the shotgun while you unlock the front door. Head straight for the phone and pull out the piece of paper with Harrington’s number and almost scream when you have to dial it a third time.

“Come on, asshole, pick up the phone,” you mutter, tapping your foot impatiently on the floor. It goes to voicemail after the eighth ring. “Fuck!” you shout, slam the phone back on its cradle and reach for another piece of paper in your pocket. Check the time on the clock real quick and decide that Henderson probably won’t mind you calling at this time.

“Hello? Hend–”

“Hi Mrs Henderson I’m really sorry to call this late but I really need to talktoyourson,” you rush out, resting your head against the wall while Dustin’s mother shakily agrees. You hear her call for him in the background.

“Hel–”

“You were right, I fucking jinxed it!“ You scream into the phone. You hear your front door shut and the tell-tale sound of the deadbolt locking.

“Woah, hey, back up there, what happened?”

You slap Eddie in the shoulder when he tries to talk to you and motion at him to sit down at the table a few feet away while you tell Henderson what happened. Somewhere along the way you start crying, but do your best to keep talking.

“Shit,” Dustin whispers, and you can hear him ask his mother to grab a bag for him. “You’re both at your place right now yeah?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, using your free hand to wipe at your face.

“Perfect, okay, great,” he says, distracted, and you hear several things being thrown around. “I’ll go get Steve and we’ll go to you okay? Is Eddie okay?”

You take a second to look over to Munson. His hands are clasped tightly in front of him, elbows on his knees and head hanging between his arms. The gun and shotgun both sit on the table in front of him.

“No,” you eventually say, turning back to the wall. “I don’t think either of us are anything adjacent to ‘okay’. Just be quick about it, man.”

You rattle off your address and promise to sit tight and agree to only open the door if you hear the agreed-upon knocking pattern. It feels a bit stupid and a bit too much, but you can’t deny the mild sense of comfort it brings you.

Eddie stands up and follows you into the kitchen, where you make yourself busy pulling two mugs out of the cupboard and grabbing the tin of coffee.

“Now are you going to tell me what the hell that was about?” he asks, throwing his hands in the air.

Pour water into the coffee maker. Fold a filter and pop it in. Try to steady your hands. Scoop grounds in.

“Hello?“

“Look,” you grind out, jabbing the power button on the stupid coffee maker and gripping the edge of the counter with white knuckles. “I don’t fucking know, okay? I just managed to talk about this shit with Harrington and the rest of your merry band of misfits this afternoon and they have no idea what’s going on either.”

“Again,” Eddie says, sounding progressively more exasperated. And entirely done with your shit. “What the hell does Steve Harrington have to do with any of this?!”

“Remember when the Byers kid went missing a few years ago?”

Eddie shuts up for a few seconds, and you don’t need to turn around to know that he’s looking at you like you just grew a second head.

“Wha–”

“He was taken to this–and you have to shut up and listen to me,” you caution, turning around and shoving a finger to his chest. “He was taken to this, like, parallel dimension by a demogorgon. And then they–no!” You slap at Eddie’s chest when he opens his mouth. “Shut up! Then they found this girl in the woods with fucking superpowers who could move shit with her mind and found out she opened this, this kind of gate or whatever to that parallel dimension.”

You take a second to breathe and run both hands down your face.

“Whatever happened to Chrissy has something to do with that. Harrington’s been there every time shit’s gone south. The Wheeler kids too, Henderson, the Sinclair kid. They’ve all fought this shit before.”

Eddie doesn’t speak again. Leans back against the sink and slides down to the floor. You don’t bother breaking the silence, just pour out the coffee when it’s done percolating and settle in next to him, holding a mug out. He doesn’t look at you but shakes his head.

“You’re gonna need the boost, man,” you say quietly, taking a sip from your mug. It scalds your tongue. Eddie eventually takes the mug and takes a sip, though he makes a face at the bitterness of it.

“You think she’s...” He starts asking, after a bit, but lets the question trail off. You have a hard time swallowing past the lump in your throat.

“Probably,” you croak, pulling your legs up to your chest and letting your mug rest on your knees. “They didn’t make it sound like this shit is prone to leaving any survivors.”

“Shit,“ Eddie whispers, and his voice is hoarse.

You close your eyes and keep sipping at your cup of coffee, trying to focus on the sound of the clock ticking to keep yourself moderately present. You chug the rest of it when you’re halfway done and stand to put your empty mug in the sink.

“Woah, woah wait where are you going?”

“I’m getting the other guns from the safe in the basement,” you say quietly, taking a deep breath and rolling your shoulders.

“You have more?”

You shrug him off because explaining is a pain in the ass right now and head for the basement door. The safe is still open, as you left it. You fit the Beretta in your waistband, grab the Winchester in one hand and as many boxes of bullets and shells as you can comfortably hold against your chest before making your way back upstairs.

You hear the patterned knock on the door just after kicking the basement door shut behind you. You can hear Henderson shouting from outside when he starts pounding on the door with his fist.

“Fucking relax, I’m coming, jesus!” You call, unlocking the deadbolt and pulling the chain out before opening the door. “Please tell me you have any kind of useful information.”

Henderson immediately makes his way to the dining room table, like he’s been here a thousand times before, and throws a heavy bag on the table. Harrington follows behind, looking all the world like he just got woken up, if his less-than-deliberately messy hair is anything to go by. You don’t pity him when you punch him in the shoulder.

“Hey, what the hell was that for?!”

“You told me to call you if anything happened and didn’t answer your damn phone, you asshole!”

“Yeah well I didn’t exactly expect for something to happen tonight!” He shouts back, rubbing at his arm and moving to sit down next to Henderson. You huff and slam the door shut, taking care to lock everything back up.

Dustin slams a handheld down on the table and effectively shuts everyone up. Looks at you and waves his hand at Eddie.

“How much does he know?”

“Just that you guys have done this before,” You start slowly, making your way back to the table. Motion to everyone to sit down, though Henderson stays standing. “Didn’t really have the time or patience to go through everything.”

“Steve, can you..?” Henderson asks, pulling the antenna on the handheld and wandering off. You can hear him checking if Mike’s still up.

“Is this the part when I find out why you’re not actually a massive douchebag?” Eddie asks, both hands on the table, fidgeting nervously with his rings.

Steve sighs, running a hand down his face and leaning back in the chair. But he launches into a shortened summary of what you were given earlier that day. Will’s disappearance, the Upside Down, the mind flayer, how Joyce Byers is in the know. Talks about Eleven and the other “psychic kids”, how she had and then lost her powers during the last fight at Starcourt.

“It’s not like we were sure everything was done last time, but...” Steve trails off, looking down at the table. “Without Will here and Eleven without her powers, we didn’t exactly have a Bullshit Radar.”

“Wait,” Eddie says, looking at me for a second, before looking back at Steve. He’s been on the edge of his seat for the past few minutes. “Does that mean she’s one of the psychic kids?”

“Hello, I’m right here–”

“Probably not,” Steve answers anyways. “Hell if I know. You said you only started having weird stuff happen to you when El opened the first gate right?” You nod to confirm. “Right. I don’t know, maybe she’s got a weird connection to the Upside Down like Will does.”

“Yeah but,” I cut in, scooting closer to the table. “Will was actually stuck there for like, what? A week? And he got caught by that big shadow thing. I’ve only been there once–probably–for less than an hour.”

Steve throws his hands up and lets them fall back down on the table. “Dude, I don’t know. It’s not like we ever know anything until it tries to eat our face.”

“Mike’s on his way over,” Dustin announces, walking over to stand by Eddie, and places a hand on his shoulder. “Lucas is gonna go see if he can grab Max before coming over.”

Leaning your elbows on the table, you put your head in your hands. Sincerely starting to wonder why Harrington even told you to call him when anything happened if they were going to be flying into this nearly as blind as you. You’re about to ask something when Henderson speaks up again.

“Think your parents are gonna mind a long distance call on their phone bill?”

text divider by natasharomanovf

#stranger things #eddie munson #reader insert #no y/n #fanfiction #fanfic #stranger things fanfic #fix-it fic #eddie munson x reader #second person pov #mentions of guns #lots of swearing #character death #i actually tried to proof read this for once

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lukecoalman · 1 year

Text

Pages 5-7 of my teen-comedy-magical-boy comic. Where the fantasy stuff starts.

I'm posting all the pages of my comic on my personal website here.

#comics #magical girl #wolf #magical boy #progress #lots of swearing #I wanted to make something that's like Superbad+Sailor Moon

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theindescribable1 · 9 months

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What happened? But a tw for swearing we'll be ok.

Alright. TW: lots of swearing

Some stupid idiot bitch came into Zack's live stream and cussed him out for no reason, calling him things like a dumbass and just being a full on disrespectful little bitch. After Zack's stream, he came to Shieks stream. When Shiek and Brenda heard about it, they were pretty pissed. So everyone went to her Dms and streams to call her out because of what she did to Zack. She acted oblivious and like she didn't do anything with that "Oh I'm the victim" BULL SHIT. I wasn't there that day when it all happened, but when I joined Shiek told me about it. I got really REALLY mad. No one messes with my Tumblr family. So I looked her up then said some harsh things in messages, then joined her live stream and called her out. She was being a stupid little fucking bitch the whole time, and she said she was texting sloots, she was referring to sluts. So this dirty bastard is acting like a jerk the whole time I'm talking to her in that stream. So I had enough, I sent all guns blazing. Blocked and reported. Missfreudianslit. Little fucking slutty bitchy bastard. UHG. I know I stung her like lemon and salt in an open wound. EVERYONE IF YOU WANT TO.. go say "Bitch" in her dms and then block her so she cant respond or see your blog. Missfreudianslit, you stupid old cow, you messed with a ton of bulls, so you are going to get stabbed up by horns. Idiotic swine. She deserves EVERY BIT OF THIS. EVERY BIT.

#tw: swearing #lots of swearing #Missfreudianslit #MISSFREUDIANSLIT SUCKS

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toothlespoggers · 11 months

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( do not read this if you just want to vibe and look at my silly undertale posts, just read it if you’re able to handle more intense topics)

Because people seem to think everyone is on the same ‘playing field’ as them or that people who are ‘lucky’ or privileged have everything sorted out.

Stop fucking assuming every fucking autistic/adhd etc person is the same. This post isn’t directed at anyone, I just need to let this out. i am so fucking, sick. Of people assuming everyone knows everything they do about social shit, or that everyone you meet will immediately know all your fucking triggers/baggage whatever. This applies to me as well, I’m just fucking say that people need to stop acting like everyone has the same ‘common sense’ for a number of different reasons. 1. Not all fucking ppl with autism have the same abilities, fucking assuming one autistic person should know something just because you’re autistic and you know it, like certain social cues/tones in text etc.

2. Stop assuming that everyone will understand you or whatever. People come from different backgrounds, all different kinds of people exist and there’s billions of things that could be going on with someone without you realising it. (I am guilty of this) just generally don’t assume people know everything you do

3. can the fucking??? Internet stop acting like mistakes can’t fucking happen? Like for example if someone makes a mistake and they’re young, don’t make them carry that forever. If someone makes a mistake and they’re older, depending on the severity of the mistake. It should be treated differently. Stop acting like everyone has to be perfect that doesn’t fucking exist.

4. For the love of god stop assuming other people are as chronically online as you are, if you’re one of these people I’m sorry this post is generalised and vent-y not in anyways an attack on you, I’m just trying to communicate that not everyone is the same. And if you yell at someone for something or whatever, try to keep in mind that not everyone has the same algorithm as you, not everyone knows the same things as you. Literally everyone’s internet is different it is SO DIFFERENT. Not every person is naive or innocent, no. But a lot of people don’t intend to be harmful or rude when they’re engaging online. The majority of people in fact do not want to cause any harm and will gladly accept education IF GIVEN IN THE CORRECT WAY.

stop fucking assuming, stop fucking hating on people instead of educating them. Stop fucking harassing people for not being at the same level you are.

This is not to say I am not guilty of any of these things. I have stated before and will state again that shockingly wowie I’m a flawed person. Oh my god who could have guessed? So yes.

another thing is..

STOP ASSUMING SOMEONE THATS YOUR AGE WILL BE AT THE SAME PLACE YOU ARE IN MENTAL MATURITY OR WHATEVER.

this happens so much. Like not everyone matures mentally or grows as a person the same way, it may take time and I know it’s difficult because I struggle with this too, just to remember that not everyone is on the same racetrack. Some people think differently and it takes longer for them to grasp concepts that you already grasp.

now I’m not saying “oh he’s 25 and did something racist he must be misinformed” no bullshit, just do things on a case by case basis, if the person apologises in an honest way and has a reason not to know certain things and corrects it from then on it’s not a problem. There’s a difference between wilful ignorance and unintentional ignorance. Or whatever.

I don’t know if I said any of this right or correctly. But I needed to get this off my chest. You’re free to disagree, heck you’re free to correct me do whatever you want, I’m just saying how I feel at this very moment as I write this, and it may or may not be the wrong opinion. I am well aware that i do not know how my posts will be recieved until they are recieved. So there is no way to gage from my perspective if this is right or not.

I just want people that don’t understand things and get outcasted as something broken because they aren’t able to grasp ‘common’ concepts to know that it’s okay. You’re not alone. Everyone isn’t perfect and it’s okay not to know how everything works right away, I’ll be with you every step of the way as you grow. Rome wasn’t built in a day, don’t force yourself.

#cw vent #vent tag #personal vent #tw vent #tw swearing #lots of swearing #not poggers

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ask-chara-official · 1 year

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kid. nothing fucking good can fucking come from this fucking ring. please please get fucking rid of the fucking thing. you want to have stuff? you want rings? i can fucking give you rings. mundane fucking rings, bearing no fucking curse, wrought from any fucking material but thorns. you want fucking *spamton* themed rings for some godforsaken reason? i've got fucking replicas of his fucking Commemorative Fantasy Sports Ring too. also fucking certified to be fucking free of fucking cursed fucking sigils of fucking hoarfrost and fucking rime. i am fucking willing to fucking give you whatever the fucking fuck you may fucking ever fucking want as fucking long as you fucking Ditch That Fucking Thorn Ring

That’s a lot of fucks but like also you can’t tel me what to do <3

#as chara #utdrp #tw swearing #lots of swearing

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jackalopes-pen · 1 year

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The Real Monster

Based on: Tiktok by @king.kai.2

WARNING: Unsympathetic Patton | Remus being.. Remus | An inordinate amount of swearing | Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Patton is an asshole, then it's a dukeceit hurt/comfort

A/N: I’m back from the dead. Did you miss me?

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’re a monster!” Janus exclaimed, his accusation ringing off the empty walls of canyon leading down to the subconscious

Patton returned it with a heartless, cold laugh. “Trying looking in a mirror.” The setting sun gave his sky blue eyes a wicked glow. With the flick of a wrist the chains binding the yellow side pulled him off the surface into the abyss below, letting go when it was too late to stop his descent.

He fell, the wind swirled around him like tentacles and though the fall was all too familiar it felt like a taunt when not by choice. The very darkness at the bottom seemed a mocking grin. Janus let his body fall until the ground approached, using the shadows around him to get away just before the ground and appear in their humble.. mess of living quarters.

Shadow walking was a rather valuable skill when it came to falls, when the light disappeared so could he. Janus was one of two sides able to do it, the other being Remus after begging to be taught. Now wasn't the time to dwell on that though.

What mattered was that the light[core] sides were ruled by a dictator and his name was Patton. Janus had attempted many a coup in the past to no avail. This time was a particularly bitter defeat, as not only did Thomas witness this, harming his chances of actual success, but he took a physical toll in the form of 3 sword wounds (courtesy of Roman), 16 scales stolen for 'research', and a choice dagger from Virgil to the ribs.

While ordinarily a core side could heal these in a matter of seconds, a non-core side/dark side, (thanks, Roman) had a bit more trouble. You see, by living and working in the subconscious they weren't given the attention, care, nor power to expend on instantaneous healing. Instead, they either had to ask a healer like Roman or Patton to help [which never happens] or deal with it until it goes away on it's own only mildly sped due to being imaginary. In total, the wounds would likely take around 7 months in total. The dagger would probably be the last to fade due it's depth and potence. Yet, it would take longer if he couldn't find the first-aid kit. WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO?!

"Remus! Did you steal the first aid to drink the rubbing alcohol again?" Janus yelled out.

Remus emerged from the hallway leading down to their rooms. "What if I did- the hell happened to you? And why didn't ya tell me so I could watch??" Remus whined towards the end.

"It was.. unexpected. But in short, Roman, Virgil and Patton happened." Janus said gesturing to various wounds.

"Shit. Did Thomas see it?"

"Yes, in fact he asked Roman to handle 'it'" Janus said tired. An 'it' what lows had he fallen to? The room began spinning and he clutched the counter.. no, don't you dare pass out.

"Damn, that makes a good nightmare! Blooding spilling from his chest and slowly picking his skin away, then suddenly-" Remus was cut off from his excited spiral by a thud on the linoleum kitchen floors. "Dee? Where the fuck- oh. OH SHIT! SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT! Don't fucking die, don't you fucking dare! Just.. um.. fuck!"

Double D was laying motionless on the ground, red spilling out around him. Remus wasn't much for fixing wounds but this is Dee. He's an exception. Remus hoisted the snake into a bridal carry, he's not exactly a heavy side, and laid him on the couch. Remus levitated the med kit as he wrapped gauze around the sword wounds close to the waist, and put a massive plaster on the dagger spot.

Janus' vision was blurred but clearing up. Fuck, he passed out. He looked to over to see a rare sight. Remus had a looked of concern and concentration on his face. It was almost nice to see him care like that.

"Dee! Don't ever fucking pass out on me again!" Remus said clutching Janus' upper arms. Janus winced involuntarily, causing pure concern to Remus' expression "Sorry, sorry."

"It's.. fine Remus. Let me handle it from here." Janus reached for the kit only to see his hands betray him by shaking in front of him.

"Nah, I think I got this. Also, did ya see your own hand?? Hell no."

"Ugh. Fine." Janus spat

"Now, where's the last juicy detail for tonight's revenge stabbing dream?"

"There, be gentle.. please?" Janus pointed to his left upper arm.

Then Remus found where the scales were missing. It was a massive spot of raw flesh where glistening green scales used to be, now bleeding like a waterfall. He worked more careful then he ever had in his life, slowly cleaning up until he found the source and wrapping it tight. Janus winced in response. and the gauze was loosened slightly. Red was already seeping through the bandage to the surface despite three layers of wrapping.

"I'm gonna kick that froggy ass into the fucking sun, this shit is a) my god damn territory, b) fucking overkill as hell and c) done to my lover- friend. yes.." Remus' cheeks flushed slightly.

"Ah.. your lover? Is that what you want us to be?" Janus smirked

"Shut up, you ding-dong ditched death." Remus crossed his arms and turned away

"We can't die, darling. I would've just.. been an emblem for a bit."

"Don't call me 'darling like that.. and I know but... maybe I need someone to talk to sometimes." Remus was clearly struggling for words.

"Right, of course. You totally don't pet names in spite of the many you've given myself and others."

"I- Well- SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Remus spat out, flustered. "I'm gonna go work on my nightmare. So... just... stop it.!?"

Remus rushed out of the room, slamming his door moments later. Leaving Janus alone on the ratty, piece of cloth, patches and stuffing they called a couch. He lifted himself to be upright, with some difficulty and at last stood up to go to his room.

He treaded over and gently closed the door behind him. It was a shame his dominant hand would now be more difficult to use. He put on a loose yellow t-shirt, some fresh trousers to sleep in and put away his gloves, hat, capelet, and bloodstained shirt and pants. Laundry was going to interesting and he would have to sew up those holes. That was for later though. Janus could afford a bit of time for a nap before getting to his actual duties.

-------

After roughly an hour, Remus' Magnum- go-fuck-yourself-Patton-Opus was perfectly gory and grotesque. He went to tell Jany in the living room, but he wasn't there. He felt a panic in his chest, and almost went to pummel his brother for stealing an nearly-corpse, when he thought maybe that hypocrite went to his room and pushed it instead of resting on the couch.

Remus opened the door, and saw Dee taking a nap, with an alarm set. Hypocrite. Remus turned off the alarm, and darted his eyes before landing a small peck on Dee's head. Damn, his skin is fucking soft, how the hell? Shit- he's moving! Go. Run. Hecanneverknow. RUN

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