#gonna keep trying til i get it right but i’m gonna space them out so i don’t get a noise complaint lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

perfectnow-onlythebrave · 1 year

Text

Favourite lyrics from ‘Louis Tomlinson’ Songs:

Disclaimer: I love all of Louis’ songs and think he is an incredibly talented lyricist. His lyrics often make me feel emotions I wasn’t expecting, and get me into deep spirals of thought.

Faith In The Future

All This Time: It’s not how you spend the time, it’s if you waste it // And I keep on building mountains hoping that they’ll turn to gold but the truth is I still doubt that what I do can get me home // Our eyes meet and I can tell that you’re the same as me

Saturdays: I’m gazing at the floor somebody’s got your trainers on the ones the ones that you wore when you walked out the door // We always used to say Saturdays take the pain away // Through my cigarette A shadow of you sticks me to the carpet // My heart might be broken but I won’t be broken down

Holding Onto Heartache: Creates the strangest feelin’ just slowly waitin’ for the end // The moments never shown to us because we faded into darkness // You know the parties over when you’re standing in an empty space alone // Nothing’s ever easy to be honest, I’m not easy on myself

Face The Music: Love and hate are in-between depends on your reality to see them // So one more night I’m gonna choose I don’t wanna face the music but I still wanna dance with you // Close your eyes and count to ten If you’re standin’ on the edge of fallin’ // Let’s buy some time

The Greatest: Said I had a plan for us time, it came and changed it all we had to disappear // Back dancin’ in the dark back to the very start finding pieces we can fit making up for what we missed // It’s you and me until the end life for us is never over

That’s The Way Love Goes: Remember when you told me I should give it time? well, here’s the chance for you to take your own advice // When it cuts you, when you bleed that’s when you’re feelin’ it the most // Not gonna ask you, but we’ll make sure your okay who cares? It’s her loss anyway

Chicago: They say, “bitter ends turn sweet in time” is that true of yours and mine? // Has it been long enough that you can forgive me? Just because it didn’t work, doesn’t mean it’s meaningless to me // ‘Cause I’ve been wondering what you’d say would you have told me to keep goin’? or would you say to walk away?

Headline: Sometimes, I wake up, and I hear you through the silence // You let your pride hide all your beauty and your kindness // So many reasons now you’re not mine // You never told me never I guess I never knew we’d have the shortest forever // Thought I could, but I can’t forget you

Silver Tongues: You said love was a pretty lie // you smile at me and say, “It’s time to to go” but I don’t feel like goin’ home // you say grass was a dirty drug you like to preach with a vodka in your mug // you and me until the end wakin’ up to start again

Angels Fly: There’s a time for sayin’ who did what where it went wrong, I wanna hear all that, but right now what I need you to know is // You’ll be okay, we can talk tomorrow I’m on my way with some time to burrow // I won’t say a word, it can wait ‘til morning // put the pain behind you now you don’t need it anymore // there were problems in this empty bottle at the bottom, but we drained all that (My ultimate favourite of FITF)

She Is Beauty We Are World Class: Conversation is currency shapes become language // Escape the inevitable fade into light soak up the empathy // Has it been all this before? Do you see what I see?

Bigger Than Me: When somebody told me I would change I used to hide behind a smile // I didn’t read the signs walking different lines I know I took a left trying to make it right // I was afraid, I don’t know why ‘cause so does the world outside I’ve realised and it’s bigger than me

Common People: I Came from a good home A house full of terrace dreams that was enough for me // The mistakes and the heartaches when I get lost, I go back to where I started // I took head of the local no deep pockets, only big hearts do you see what I see?

Out Of My System: I never wanna go slowly I only wanna go faster towards disaster // I am only half of what I think I can be // I’ve lived a lot of my life already but I gotta get though the rest // I’m taking all of my demons puttin’ them where I won’t see them ‘cause I just wanna feel alive

Written All Over Your Face: A hurricane behind the door so, I’ve come ready for a war // When we’ve finished saying nothing can we, please, get back to loving?

Lucky Again: I see how hard you’ve worked to be yourself // But I figured it out, then made my way back to a life I would choose // Before the world, it got so serious before the time, it got away from us // Whatever get you through the darkest night just find the light out in the darkness, hold tight // I’m a hard man to find but you figured it out and I love you for that

Walls

Defenceless: “wish I didn’t need so much of you” I hate to say but I do // we’re sleeping on our problems like we’ll solve them in our dreams // And I can’t get inside when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove // And I’m too tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you

Only The Brave: Set fire to history I’m breaking my own rules // I’ve been close enough to touch but I never cared for love // And it’s only hello, hello, no goodbye. (One of my favourites from Walls)

Walls: The day you walked away and took the higher ground was the day I became the man that I am now // Nothing makes you hurt like hurtin’ who you love // For every question why, you were my because // So this one is a thank you for what you did to me why is it that thank-yous are so often bittersweet?

Always You: I went to Tokyo to let it go drink after drink but I still felt alone // Walked through the door but it felt nothing like home ‘cause you’re not home //

Too Young: I’ve been looking back a lot lately me and you is all I’ve ever known It’s hard to think you could ever hate me // Now we can finally have conversation that I wish we could’ve had before // Now I realise yeah, I realise we were too young to know we had everythin’ // It’a been two years since I’ve seen your face I’m trying to find some better words to say before I let this moment slip away

Two Of Us: This morning I woke up still dreaming with memories playing through my head // Even when I’m on my own I know I won’t be alone // I can feel your blood run through me you’re written in my DNA looking back in every mirror // We’ll end just like we started just you and me and no one else

Perfect Now: You don’t feel pretty and It’s hard to miss I wish you could see my point of view as someone starin’ back at you // Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up don’t hide away don’t ever change // I guess some queens don’t need a crown and I know why // You never do but if you asked me too I’ll tell the truth lying next to you // You make me feel like being someone good to you, even at your worst. (My ultimate favourite from Walls)

Fearless: Tell me, do you still remember feeling young? And strong enough to get it wrong // Now if happiness is always measured by the life you designed that car on the drive then you should feel better than ever but you know as well as I it’s all lies

Kill My Mind: And you hate me, and I want more // And ya won’t let go of you hold on me // Kept me living from the last time from a prison of a past life

Don’t Let It Break Your Heart: Life get hard and it gets messed up when you give so much, but it’s not enough // And what hurts you is gonna pass and you’ll have learnt from it when it comes back

We Made It: Now, we’re saying goodbye, waving to the hard times yeah, it’s gonna be alright, like the first time // Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about things we’d never say to someone else out loud // Oh god, what I could’ve become don’t know why they put this all on us when we’re so young

Habit: I always said that I’d mess up eventually I told you that, so what did you expect from me? // I took some ‘cause I ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be // You gave me the time and the space I was out of control and I’m sorry, I let you down

Others

Just Hold On: Feels like you’re standing on the edge looking at the stars and wishing you were them // Where do you go when the story’s done? you can be who you were or who you’ll become // The sun goes down and it comes back up the world it turns, no matter what // It’s not over ‘til it’s all been said It’s not over ‘till your dying breath

Just Like You: But you only get half of the story the cash, and the cars and the glory // ‘Cause nobody cares when you’re boring // yeah, I feel the same as you do same stress, same shit to go through // I’m just like you if you only knew // Yeah, I get sad too and when I’m down I need somebody to talk to // Every heart breaks the same every tear leaves a stain can’t I just be same?

Back To You: These days I don’t even know myself // I tell myself I’m done with wicked games but then I get so numb with all the laughter that I forget about the pain

Miss You: Just one more pint of five does it even matter anyway? // Just like that and I’m sober I’m asking myself, “is it over?” // And all of these thoughts and the feelings cheers to that if you don’t need them // We can’t even be on the phone now and I can’t even be with you alone now // we were in love and now we’re strangers // When I feel it coming up, I just throw it all away get another two shots ‘cause it doesn’t matter anyway

Copy Of A Copy Of A Copy: It’s an old curse dreamers diving head first // Nothing is original there’s nothing left to say // I can hear you howling until your lungs hurt so let this be your comfort // In a strange way all in this together been this way forever

#louis tomlinson #Louis Tomlinson songs #Louis Tomlinson lyrics #Louis Tomlinson favourite lyrics #lyric speak #music speak #faith in the future #faith in the future louis tomlinson #Walls #Walls Louis Tomlinson #lyrics #Faith in the future lyrics #walls lyrics

25 notes · View notes

abbatoirablaze · 2 months

Text

Shameless, Chapter 11

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: small instances of violence/siblings fighting, mentions of cheating/infidelity.

“Hey, thanks for coming with us Sofia!” Ian smiled.

“Yeah, really sucks that dad wasn’t able to come…or any of my brothers…they weren’t gonna release Mickey without an adult present.” Mandy agreed.

“I got you, Mandy.” You smiled softly, wrapping an arm around her, “you’re my little brother’s girlfriend…practically family…”

Ian gave you a look and you couldn’t help but laugh.

You knew why he’d shown up.

You knew that he’d been screwing Mickey on the down low.

“Here he comes,” Mandy smiled as they opened the back door and he was released, “you know, you didn’t have to come with us, Ian…”

“Bad neighborhood!” Ian said quickly, barely looking at the two of you as he kept his gaze focused on Mickey, “need to make sure that you guys are safe.”

“Yeah, we live in a bad neighborhood!” Mandy scoffed.

“Yeah, but we’re related to the bad people in our neighborhood,” Ian argued, “you guys aren’t related to people here…”

“What the hell is the Gallagher family reunion doing here?”

“Dad, Joey, and nearly everyone else was busy…so Sofia offered to be the person over eighteen to get you out…and Ian-“

“Hey!”

“He thought I might need protection!” Mandy laughed.

“Oh yeah?” Mickey asked as he reached out and pulled Mandy into a hug, “you may think that you know my sister. But you don’t know my sister til you fought my sister! She’s protecting your ass!”

“You smell like barbeque sauce…”

Mickey reached out and pinched her tits, twisting her nipples through her bra. She screamed and grabbed his arms, fighting him off, “OH, OW! What did dad tell you?”

“Oh, ow! Fuck-Fuck the police!”

“No titty twisters now that I’m a C cup!” she growled, pushing her brother away from herself.

“C cup? Bitch you wish!” Mickey scoffed. He turned, looking to the guards, “HEY! Fuck you! Fuck you! And especially fuck you!”

“Alright, come on kid, before they lock you back up!” you teased as Mandy and Ian started pulling him away from the doors. He wrapped an arm around Mandy’s shoulders and tried to wrap one around Mickey’s, but he pushed him away from them.

“You uh-knocked up pretty good…” he commented dryly as he looked back at you, “still with the cop, or is that a little Milkovich taking up rent space in there?”

“It’s the cops,” Mandy laughed, “but they’ve been splits Ville since he tried to break up Fiona and her boyfriend.”

“Thought they did break up?”

“They did…and Colin’s been at our house every other day with flowers or otherwise trying to win Sofia back.”

“He knows the little crotch goblin isn’t his?”

“Trust me, Mickey…Colin knows that my child belongs to Tony.”

“We could still raise him as a Milkovich if you and the cop don’t get back together though,” he shrugged, “sure dad would love to finally have a grandkid…and you know that Colin would raise the bastard like it was his own.”

“Gee, Mick…thanks for the thoughts…”

“Just saying,” he shrugged, “any of you fuckers got a light? No one put any money on my books, and I’d kill for a smoke!”

“I don’t right now, but I could drop a carton off after I get done at my shift at the club…Col was saying he wanted to see me…”

“You’re not coming home?” Ian asked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be home in time to make sure Debbie’s daycare is good…was just gonna stop off at Chez Milkovich first.”

“Sounds good,” Mickey agreed, “I’ll tell Colin he’ll get half the carton…”

“What the hell was that?”

“Oh, you saw the little slut and her grandpa tipping out sis big time too?”

“Oh, I saw little slut just kiss my sister,” you answered as you placed a drink on the bar, “six fifty.”

The guy tossed a ten on the bar and told you to keep the change as he walked off and was quickly replaced by another one.

“That a thing?” you asked.

“What, Fiona going out with them all the time?”

“Judging by that tone, I’m going to assume that it is,” you smirked, but the smirk was quickly replaced by a frown, “but no…was talking about her kissing that chick.”

“She does it all the time.”

A shiver ran down your spine, “damn…maybe I have been missing out on what’s going down…Do you think I’ve been spending too much time at the Milkovich’s?”

“Milkovich, or with your husband?”

You frowned, “I-It was only once, V-“

“Girl, he’s your husband. You should be spending more time at the house next door than the one a few blocks down.”

“V I don’t need a speech on a soap box.”

“All I’m saying, is that you can’t just let people into your life when it suits you Sofia,” she sighed as she put a hand on the small of your back, “Tony was good for you…sure, he called the cops on Steve…and he got him to give him the house…but he did it because he knows the types of guys Fiona lets in, and he was trying to protect you guys…I mean, you remember the guy with the anger issues…and the guy who started trying to deal drugs out of your house when you were at school…and the guy that-“

“I get it,” you frowned, cutting her off with a shake of your head, “but it-he could have talked to me about it instead of going right on after Steve…instead of calling the cops on Ian and Lip.”

“Sweetie, he thought he was doing what was right…” she offered, “and anyways…he said he kicked out that rub and tugger after your conversation…you still have your copy of the key…fuck the Milkovich kid…go get your husband back…”

“Yeah…you’re right, V…” you smiled, “thanks.”

Your brow quirked, but you didn’t say anything as you made your way past Fiona, who was sleeping on the couch, and into the kitchen.

“Quiz me!” Ian encouraged.

You messed with Lip’s hair as you passed, and opened the fridge to start breakfast, “who needs food still?”

“Me!” Carl called.

“Well, what do you want, kid?”

“Cereal?”

You nodded, tossing him the bag, before looking at your other brothers.

“We both do!” Ian admitted.

“Uh, if A equals B, then B equals A!”

“Symmetric!”

“He may as well get a windshield and call it a car!” Lip groaned.

“It’s just a phase.”

“What are you guys talking about.”

“She hasn’t even slept with him yet!” Lip admitted.

“He’s talking about Karen.”

“Ugh,” you groaned, “I’ve never liked her. You could do so much better than her, Lip…”

“Maybe he’s a eunuch!” Lip said, ignoring your comment.

“Maybe she just likes him?” Ian shrugged.

“Debbie, what do you and Liam want for breakfast.

“Whatever?” Debbie shrugged.

“Lip, why are you sleeping in mine and Fi Fi’s bed?” Fiona asked as she came into the kitchen.

“Lip was sleeping in our bed?” you asked, “what’s wrong with your room?”

“Ask her!” Lip frowned, pointing at Debbie.

“I moved Liam!” she called, coming towards you so that she could reach into the fridge, “I can’t be in the same room where Liam is constantly masturbating.”

“It’s not masturbating if nothing comes out!”

“According to whom?” Fiona asked.

“My friend Jack O’ Donnel.”

“Not true!” Debbie claimed, with a shake of her head.

“It’s kind of true!”

“Not legally true!” Ian argued.

“So, Liam could be arrested for masturbating?”

“What?” Fiona asked, “no. Listen up!”

“What is the age where it’s inappropriate to arouse yourself in front of others?” Lip asked, “even if nothing comes out.”

“Two years old!”

“Guys, we’re not having this conversation,” you argued, playfully slapping Lip upside the head, “Lip, keep quizzing Ian. Carl, masturbating is still masturbating even if nothing comes out, regardless of age….Fi…we have to do something if it’s becoming a problem…maybe move Lip into Frank’s room?”

“Unfortunately, Frank has rented out his room to a pregnant woman!” Fiona groaned as she slipped a new shirt over her head and pointed upstairs.

“What?” you asked.

“I told them!” Debbie announced.

“You let her in last night?” you asked.

Debbie shrugged, “she had a key! Besides, she’s from China. They kill extra babies there.”

“Liam needs to go back in with you!” Fiona frowned.

“WHAT NO!” Debbie screeched, before looking to you, “Fi Fi, tell her that Liam can’t be back in with me.”

“Debbie-“

“Debs, that’s not fair,” you tried, “maybe we switch with the boys. Have the three of us in the boy’s room and the boys split off? Carl and Liam in one and Ian and Li-“

What’s done is done!” she yelled, looking between you and your sister. She stormed off leaving you with your sister.

“Okay…for now, Liam’s in the boy’s room!” Fiona announced.

“What?”

“SERIOUSLY?” Lip asked.

“Four guys in one room!”

“Isn’t that a health violation?” Ian asked.

“Why can’t we do what Sofia said?” Carl asked, “you three in our room and then Lip and Ian in yours and me and Liam in Debbies?”

“We don’t have money for anymore beds, and I can promise you that Debs won’t sleep on the top bunk and Sofia won’t be able to jump up there with as pregnant as she is.”

“Well, we have to figure something out!” you tried, “Fi…there’s not enough room in there for them…maybe we push the chick out that Frank rented his room to?”

“We’ll find Frank and figure it out, but until then, four to the room!”

There was a cough, and the kitchen went silent as the woman that Frank had rented his room to came down the stairs. Fiona left the kitchen in a huff, and you put a hand on Lip’s shoulder before sliding around and kissing Ian’s temple, “We’ll get him here and figure it out…I promise guys…it won’t stay this way.”

“Promise!”

“Of course!” you smiled, “now come on…you gotta work at Kash and Grab, and Lip…you said you and Kev need extra hands with the ice cream truck today?”

“Yeah…”

“Fiona…you got the daycare?” you asked as you followed your two brothers outside to where Kev was eagerly honking the horn for the ice cream truck.

You stopped though, your heart aching, when also coming to the bottom of the steps, to the door right beside yours was your husband.

“Sofia-“

You couldn’t stop the butterflies that rose in your stomach at the thought of it.

V had convinced you that maybe it was best to give Tony another shot. After all, he was trying to do what was best for your family. He didn’t have any ill intentions with it, other than to create some distance between Fiona and Steve.

When he fucked up and realized that Lip and Ian were the ones that got arrested, he’d done everything in his power to make sure they walked…Steve just happened to give him the house after the fact, thinking that was the main factor in keeping them out of jail.

And then last month when the two of you hooked up, and he admitted that he’d kicked out the Laotian girl…

He did care.

“Tony?” you asked softly as you opened the door to the house.

You didn’t get a response from him.

But you did hear music coming from upstairs.

Closing the door behind yourself, you pushed upstairs. The lights were off in the master, and the door to the nursery was closed, but you saw lights on in one of the other rooms, on the far side of the hall.

“Tony?” you tried again.

A woman moaned in response.

Your heart broke.

But that didn’t stop you from stomping down the hall and barging in only to see your husband balls deep in another woman.

“FUCKING SERIOUSLY?”

“Sof-“

“Go fuck yourself, Tony. I’m done!” you spat, throwing your wedding ring at the ground, “I want a divorce!”

“Go fuck yourself, Tony….I don’t want to hear it.”

“Sofia…wait…wait, would you please jus-“

He stopped speaking when you whipped around, and slapping him hard across the face, “don’t you fucking touch me, Tony.”

“I-I deserved that.”

“You said you were done!” you spat, “you said you kicked them out…you-“

“I did…but then-“

“Then what?” you growled, “what happened Tony?”

“You didn’t come back!” he answered, “I-I kicked her out. I got rid of her. But then you didn’t come home. You just kept staying over there! To the fucking Milkovich house. Hell, I arrested one of his brothers the other week and he admitted that you were fucking Colin again. Wh-what did you expect me to do, Sofia? Wait forever?”

“I didn’t expect you to stick your dick in another woman while I made sure my family was okay, Tony!”

“You weren’t making sure your family was okay, you were being a crazy bitch!” he growled, “you were going out and fucking another man while I sulked in our home.”

“YOU FUCKED ANOTHER WOMAN FIRST!” you screamed in his face, “YOU CHEATED ON ME. YOU TRIED TO GET MY LITTLE BROTHERS LOCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP FIRST, TONY!”

“I’m sorry,” he tried, his head shaking, “I’m sorry, Sofia…just please...”

You looked down to see him holding your wedding ring in his hands, “what the fuck is this, Tony?”

“Please don’t leave me, Sofia…”

Chapter 12

#shameless #season 2 #south side #chicago #fiona gallagher #lip gallagher #ian gallagher #carl gallagher #debbie gallagher #liam gallagher #tony markovich #mandy milkovich #mickey milkovich

5 notes · View notes

pinkafropuff · 5 months

Text

[Home for the Holidays] -Emilia

She was singing again. Thanks to how high up she’d gotten, she was sure it wouldn’t be heard by others- she had a knack for producing “static” so that her words would only be heard by her own ears- so long as they did not get too close, or look too deeply. Her spell would make sure of that; with her very specific requirements, it was almost assured that she would be free to express (or not express) whatever she wanted.

“You can only be heard by someone as lonely as I, from a place I am not and am not well known. You will sound only as the sweetest of whispers of the dearly departed, of easily forgotten words and tones.”

It was cold out; it was always cold in Ishgard, but today, up high and with all that wind, she found herself longing for the snow in a way that she did not think possible before. The month, as it were, was the Eorzean equivalent of “December”, and she found herself reminiscing as she cleaned the blade of her lance, carefully polishing even the most minute of details on the shaft.

It “sounded” like a normal carol. As she thought much about it and cared very little for its tune, the simplest would suffice:

“Oh ay, ay ay, I’m dreamin’

Of a white

Christmaaas~

With every-

Christmas Card I write

May your days,

Be merry and briiiiiiiiight-

…and may all your Christmases

Whi-i-i-ite-”

She could see her breath when she breathed out a bit too heavily. She was wearing a hat, but…still. There was something chillier about the warmth of ones’ breath against the air in December, and it always smelled like-

….like…

She paused. Mouth slowly opening and closing, she felt a strong tug at her chest. For a long time she ignored it; its warmth began to scald her throat as she held it down, prickling at her abdomen as she swallowed to destroy it in stomach acid, though it was all to no avail. Its taste was like the sweetest juice. She could indulge it this once. Just once.

“...I’ll…be home…for Christmas…” A whisper. “You can count on…me…”

“Please have snow

And mistletoe

And-”

She chewed the words to make them unrecognizable. “...r..sents under the tree.” One boot to the top of the cathedral, she pushed back just slightly; a modicum of snow slipped off of its sloped top, dropping down onto the empty streets below.

“...Christmas eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

I'll be home

…for Christmas

If only in my dreams…”

The only warmth was on her tear-stained cheek.

“If only in my-”

(She closed her eyes.)

Rustling among boxes of things long forgotten. Static cling against long, red sleeves. Since it’s winter, it’s the perfect time to rummage among old things and pretend they’re new.

He’s making a mess. He hates mess, so it’s clearly not his favorite part, but he’s so deeply invested in what the mess could be, that [-----] can’t find him in the garage as readily as she’d usually be able. It’s not that big, of course; though it can fit the one car, it hasn’t in years, given the junk of various persons taking up its space. By now, it’s almost like it was never meant for an automobile at all.

“I found the tree!”

“Daddy, everybody knew where the tree was, we’re havin’ cocoa right now.” It’s a good thing she’s wearing her long hair today. It’s nippy around her neck and shoulders, even with the hat she’s thrown on to keep her warm.

(She reached up and touched her now-short hair. That was one thing she missed, but maybe not much else. For her it smelled of the fakeness she needed to convince them of her personhood. For her it was estrangement. A barb in her skin.)

“They can’t eat or drink nothin’ til I pray-” His voice broke off. “Babygirl, if you’re gonna help me, then help me! Don’t just stand there.”

[----] let out a little sigh. “I’m not that strong. You should ask….I dunno, Robert or somebody.” Not that she didn’t want to try. Though she’d throw her back out too, with the way things were going.

“He at work right now.”

“Then we should wait until he gets home. He’ll be over for the movie at least, and Auntie’ll probably goad him into staying.” Not that there was any guarantee he’d help out. “At least Trina’ll be around to help out by then. Don’t want you to throw your back out.”

“If I do, I got a doctor right here.”

(Her elbows were getting cold. Stupid dragoon armor. A good coat was better than this. How did Estinien survive like this, anyway? The elves seemed French but reminded her more closely of Russians. Tough and tall. Rough, but trying not to be. Or maybe that was French after all. She wouldn’t bother.)

“Doctor Ross is not on call, it’s Christmas! And, because I’m working with the government, I get paid time off!”

(How that would bite her in the ass later.)

“Well, you should get your ‘paid time off’ behind over here to grab the other end of this tree. I know you been liftin’ patients and all that. Ain’t no nurses ‘round here to pick up your slack!”

In the end she’d relented, if only to take the tree box inside. By the time they were done, her mother had already started a fight with her father about his habits- though at least they’d already gotten through the prayer. It was enough to wake the neighbors- which, in this case, were her aunts and uncles not originally keen on showing up early to their collective grandparents’ (and parents’) tree-trimming, house decorating celebration. It was loud but warm, its simmering cooled only as low as time would let it before they all dispersed to their various homes, most of which were apartments in that same building.

A microcosm in an otherwise crowded space. If she peered into a snowglobe, that’s exactly what she’d see; a big, loud family in varying skin tones, talking and laughing with drinks in hand, whether they be coffee, tea, cocoa, or wine.

“Nah, no cocoa. Pass me the rum,” she’d said after one too-long shift at the hospital, and her nana had passed it over without much fuss.

“A workin’ woman deserves that much.”

(“Have fun, but not too much fun.” She’d say.)

The freezing cold is incentive enough to pull her legs in close, arms tightly wrapped around herself as her thoughts rest in a far off memory.

“Happy Starlight everyone!” Through the hustle and bustle of the season, Emilia finds herself sitting alone at a table in the back of Revenant’s Toll, her arms and legs crossed, boots resting atop the table. Apparently it’s celebrated as a holiday for children- why, Emilia is not keen on finding out- but she relents that it must be a cultural thing, and otherwise not something she is overly interested in. Alphinaud and Alisaie- despite being children themselves- are passing out gifts to every Scion, which she admits is good of them; with all that money in their family, it would be good to at least be generous.

A poor facsimile of a thing. But they seemed happy nonetheless. She was a lot of things, but a party pooper was not one of them. No, it would be better to leave, or to brood. Whichever would lead them to not seeing her cry like a stupid baby at the end of the night.

“Ah, there you are.” It was not an unwelcome voice; she’d gotten used to Alphinaud by now (though not as much his twin, who was still merrymaking with other guests and clearly goading them into sharing their drinks, despite being able to buy her own), and figured he’d come around sooner or later, probably to wish her a nice day or something or other. While it wasn’t a bad thing per se, she was getting tired of putting on her act with him, especially when he’d taken rather recently to grinning in response, as if he knew her dearest secrets. As if he knew her. “I’ve a gift for you, if you want it.”

She gave him a very strong side eye. Arms crossed over her chest, she leaned back further in her chair, enough to (while knowing the wall was behind her) stretch her hands above her and brace them behind her neck in a dangerously careless position that she was sure would tip anyone else’s chair over entirely. “If it’s free, I’ll take it,” she lied.

“I knew you’d say that,” it was almost a mumble, but he offered her a package nonetheless. “Happy Starlight. I know you aren’t keen on asking for things you want, and you may even have been a bit mean spirited when you said it, but-” He paused, seeming to want her to open up the package. She did not. “..well. I hope you like it, at least. And there is a receipt of sale, should you wish to return it.”

“Generous of you,” she answered lazily, and though he shrugged at her, he still smiled and crossed his arms over his chest, mirroring her former position.

“Well,” he admitted, “I did hear that, with all this prestige, if I cannot afford to be at least this generous it would make me quite the laughingstock.”

Without wanting to, her lip twitched. It felt like a smile. “Well, blow me over. I guess I’ll accept it then.” And she meant it. Genuinely.

When he left, there was only a beat or so before his sister came; in her hands was a rather big, vase shaped thing with a big bottom and smaller top (not unlike her own physical frame), that made a heavy, gentle slosh sound- which made her wonder what was in the damn thing.

“Here,” she said to Emilia, though all she got in response was the doctor’s flickering gaze from her to the gift and back, somewhat in disbelief.

“What is that.” She didn’t ask it like a question, and couldn’t bring herself to sit up at first- but her curiosity got the better of her and she slipped her boots off the table to lean close.

“Maybe you should open it up…?” It sounded like a hint, but the impatient edge made Emilia grin a little.

“And if I don’t?” A challenge. Alisaie was easy to challenge, given she never backed down from one, and easy to goad when times got rough. It was her favorite thing about the younger twin- other than her taste for red in her clothing, which Emilia agreed with on principle.

“Well, then…!” She warned, eyes flashing a bit…but then she closed her eyes and pressed her lips into a thin line. “Look, you can open it or not if you want, but you’ll miss out on something amazing to enjoy when we go caroling later on tonight.”

“Oh, so it’s a drink,” she murmured, using a delicately gloved finger to pull on the wrapping paper. “What, you made me some koo-” She thought better of it. “...some lemonade from your stand?” Easily the best way to guarantee her intent.

“Just open it!”

She did. When fully unwrapped, the bottle glistened with the most beautiful brown, the spirits within shivering just slightly with every touch. With two hands she gingerly handled the container, careful not to release its slim neck from her grip. Rum. Finely aged and beautifully packaged. It must have cost a fortune. “...where did you get this?”

“You said you liked to drink,” Alisaie admitted, “and though I know it’s a bad habit, I just thought…well, it’s not wrong if it makes you a bit happy now and again, is it?”

Emilia’s lips parted. Her lipstick started crackle against drying skin.

“Now, you have to promise me that you won’t drink too much tonight instead of hanging out with us, or else I’ll…!” She threw her hands up. “I’ll smash the bottle! I’ll drain every last drop and you’ll see none of it.” Arms crossed over her chest and mouth pulling into a tight sort of pout, she turned her gaze to the side. “Whatever. It’s not my fault Alphinaud picked a coat for his gift. I know mine isn’t as good.”

Something tickled at her eye. It didn’t matter. “What?”

“He already gave you his, didn’t he? He tried to make me feel better about it, but I wanted to get you the coat, since it was all you asked for,” she was so absorbed in her conflicts with her brother that she didn’t realize she’d spoiled the surprise. The gift in question was clearly still at Emilia’s side.

Suddenly driven by a need to know, she grasped the package and ripped it open. Fuck. He really had gotten her a coat. A really nice coat. A really nice red coat, clearly made to be used as armor in environments where cold was king, where her breath caught on mountain peaks and she was too stubborn to do more than sit out there all night long, to be safe with herself and her tears away from prying eyes.

These stupid kids.

“They’d go good together if they weren’t so-” She broke off suddenly, noticing for the first time that Emilia’s face had begun to flush around her cheeks and eyes. “...are you alright? You look a little-”

She bolted out of the door with her arm over her face and didn’t stop until she was higher than anyone could see her.

****

Of course they were kind. They're young. Adults, maybe, by this world's standards, but Emilia knows better than most the difference between eighteen and twenty-four. Between an overgrown child wallowing in debt and a fledgling doctor who'd pulled an entire 12 on her feet. Somehow, the twins were both at once.

The wind whipped at her cheeks again. At least in this cold, it wasn't only her eyes that would sting red, or her nose. She could explain it away this way, crouched down in the snow-covered dirt like a gargoyle standing watch for the holy cathedral.

“Run out of children to frighten?”

Her lip twitched at first with some sort of disdain, though for once, she hadn't meant to. When her head turned to see him, he was more or less the same as she remembered; tall, brooding and unbearably pointy. A more or less match for her ire. An easy target.

“‘fraid not. Got kicked outta my hotel.” The cracking of chapped lips curled to one side. She’d have to find a place with better stuff for them later, since that cheap shit was not cutting it. “Why? Ain't you got better things to do than harass ladies, Mr. Dragoon?”

To this, he was silent. The Azure Dragoon only crossed his arms, a heat stewing beneath his helmet. “Unfortunately for you, this is work for me.”

“...damn. Even you gotta work on Christmas,” she murmured, which made his head turn a bit, though she realized she shouldn't have said it. “...it's a holiday, ain't it? What you out here for?”

“You, apparently.”

The words snapped her teeth against each other. It was good that it was cold. Better to be mistaken for the chatter of shivering than something else. When she regained her bearings, she drawled, “...what for?”

“There’s a storm picking up near here,” he admitted with some carelessness, “and some of the children thought to venture out further than they ought.”

Hmph. “You callin’ me a kid?”

“I didn't call you anything,” he answered roughly, “though you speak it well enough on your own.” A single armored hand extended, its sharp fingers not unlike a dragon itself. “Well? What are you waiting for. Run along.”

She kissed her teeth. She had half a mind to argue with him- tease him, goad him, annoy him enough to give her a good fight- but he was right. It was getting colder, and the flurries of snow were starting to get stuck in her eyes (which she rolled enough for him to see, even amidst the furious white).

Emilia stood, boots crunching in the thick snow as she shifted her weight to one foot and then the other before shoving her hands into her pockets, shoulders slightly hunching in dismay. “Of course, officer,” she said, her voice clear as a songbirds’. “I was gettin’ bored of this spot anyway.”

Then she smiled. A too-sweet smile that made him scowl. Ironically, it amused her enough to give him a real one for free. When she teleported off, Estinien was still standing there, a statue clad in black in an otherwise endless white. When a few moments passed and he was sure it was clear, he headed back into town, the whisper of the wind kissing the back of his neck, its forgotten song stinging near cracks in his armor.

“If only in my-”

The coat was still sitting on the table when she returned, along with the bottle. Alisaie didn’t smash it yet, huh? A stray thought. She snagged the bottle and opened it up to give it a sniff.

***

The Scions were all gone. Maybe they'd gone caroling without her. Good, was her first thought, though it soured after a moment or so. That wasn't fair or kind. Not that she was given to doing more than one at a time.

Eggnog.

Boots thump, thump, thumping across the floor. The cabinets to the bar burst open as she searched for some necessary ingredients- though most were below her, in what seemed to be a kind of fridge.

It was good to ride out compulsions like these when they came. Maybe something good would come out it- like the sudden urge to clean a long-dirty room or do one’s taxes just before the deadline.

Big bowl. Punch jar? Bowl. Regular bowl. “Who gives a fuck?” She said out loud, thrown up beside her head, a careless gesture to pair with her swears. Eggs, milk- shit, they had so many kinds of milk- sugar, heavy whipping cream, (? was that too different than milk?) vanilla (probably), cinnamon (maybe?), salt (oh hell yeah, salt. ‘To balance the flavor’ or something). By the time she was done mixing what seemed like it should be eggnog for at least fifty people, the doors opened faster than she imagined they would. In an effort to cheapen her actions quickly, she grasped the finishing touch: the bottle of fancy rum.

She took a deep breath. She could drink this on her own. She could treat it as a friend for hours, maybe weeks if she stretched it out, if she was good with it, it get her through this godforsaken season, through the empty and spiraling cold while everyone else sang carols and stayed warm to the touch-

-chewing her lip. A little sigh. Time was running out, and she didn’t want to be seen doing it, so. It’s Christmas, ain’t it? She unscrewed the cap and dumped it all in- at least, more than half of it, to compensate for both the sweetness of the eggnog she had yet to taste, and the amount of servings. Clumsily- and quickly, of course- she grabbed the bottle and set it off to the side, hands on top of the bar. When the doors opened, the Scions- both inner circle and outer- filled in, with Alphinaud and Minfilia at the front.

“Oh! There you are! We were out looking everywhere for you! Alisaie said you had quite a fright-” The blue twin broke off when she glared down at him, silencing any efforts to overdramatize her flight. He cleared his throat instead. “Anyway, what is this?”

Minfilia in particular peered over the bowl. “Mm…it smells quite nice. Is it alright to drink?”

“Is it safe to drink, you mean,” began Alphinaud, though Alisaie elbowed him in the side. The rebuke seemed to come from either side, Emilia, Alisaie, and Minfilia all, so he just shrugged and opted to stop himself before he got skewered by them all.

“Well, Emilia clearly made it for us,” she wanted to protest Minfilia’s assumption, but found she could not, “so why don’t we give it a try?��

She shrugged in response. Though she hadn’t thought far enough to get cups, she found them fast enough to make herself one. “...it’s spiked. Don’t drink too much.” Then she poured some of her own. Apprehensive because of the smell (eggs tended to do that to her, on occasion), she took a sip, only to be startled by the pungent taste that was very unlike alcohol. Maybe she shouldn’t have put in that many different kinds of milk?

“...this is…interesting.” Minfilia nodded, though her expression was clearly concealing a rather different emotion. “It tastes very…unique. Yes. Unique.”

The twins got their own cups (though Emilia thought to keep an eye on them, given their ages; legal or not, they were comparatively young) and Alisaie wrinkled her nose delicately at first, before retching back into her cup. “Ew! What is this?” It burst out from her with a bubble of laughter. “It tastes like…like spoiled milk? With rum in it.”

“Let me try,” Thancred pushed forward, and before they knew it, everyone was grabbing a cup of the eggnog, though Emilia herself leaned back and cupped her hand under the elbow holding her own glass, sipping slowly as she closed her eyes.

“This is awful,” her brother agreed, though he was laughing too. “What is this made out of? It’s not…spoiled, but it tastes like-” His eyes searched the ceiling before they closed, fist to his chin as he lowered his head in thought. “Like flavors fighting for dominance?”

“We shouldn’t judge it too harshly,” said one voice, obviously noticing her off to the side. “I mean it’s- I mean the rum is good!”

A ripple of laughter washed over the small crowd. Not wanting to upset her (though there was no way she could be) they kept the banter light after that.

The nearly empty bottle caught her eye. She turned away and pointed her gaze at Alisaie. “You still goin’ out?”

The red twin stood up straight. “Wh-I mean you-”

Her brother slid in beside her. “Of course we are. It’ll be cold, though, so you could bring some of this if you were willing to join us…?”

Of course she would. She was young, after all. “Nothin’ better to do.” She swirled her swill around in her cup. A waste of expensive rum. She smiled to herself, enjoying what felt like a smart little secret. ‘Sides, I should take that coat out and see if I need to take it back.”

This seemed encouraging to him, somehow. “Mayhaps with a little more drink, you’ll even sing some carols…?”

“Shut up, kid.” Was her answer, though more than one Scion noted that it was not a “no”.

#merry christmas!#this is a long one I'm afraid #but i enjoyed writing it #emilia #emilia chen #ffxiv #fic

3 notes · View notes

echosprompts · 1 year

Text

daisy jones & the six : miscellaneous songs.

daisy jones : nobody needs

“i remember waving at the car.”

“doesn’t matter that we’ll never say goodbye.”

“nobody needs a family, just trust me.”

“nobody needs a family.”

“just trust me.”

“she’s a ship-wreck on a sea of self-loathing.”

“the question of what oughta matter cuts you deep.”

“thank you.”

“i’m sorry.”

“i love you.”

“goodbye.”

daisy jones : by myself

“it’s alarming to see how far i can run.”

“i wind up the same as i always, crying in a heap in some hallway.”

“i gotta try something new.”

“i can do this with nobody else.”

“i can ruin this night by myself.”

“i can write down my miserable poem.”

“i can drink to my own bloody health.”

“i could tell by the waves you couldn’t see me.”

“you couldn’t see me.”

“people may try.”

“i’m gonna do ‘til i die to and give it hell.”

“give it hell.”

“i don’t need anybody’s help.”

daisy jones : type of guy

“you’re the type of guy who has a virgin mary leaning on his bed.”

“you’re the type of guy who has a hundred double meanings in his head.”

“a painting leaves you empty-eyed.”

“i’m that same type of guy.”

“you’re the type of guy who hangs on every word he stumbles for.”

“you’re the type of guy who doesn’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

“what can make you laugh, can make you cry.”

“all i do is listen and forget what you were just about to say.”

“all i do is listen.”

“it’s finally time to hit the hay.”

“they shaved my head and made me stand with both my arms stretched open wide.”

“you’re childlike and ignorant, or negligent, or both, i can’t decide.”

“you’re childlike and ignorant.”

daisy jones : it was always you

“this is not a faith to awaken.”

“their love will never last.”

“to see the toll it would have taken.”

“i could forget my name.”

“swore i’d never darken your door.”

“you’ll say it was insane.”

“we never could go back to before.”

“i can’t control it.”

“it was always you.”

“don’t question what oughta be.”

“i’m a slave to attraction.”

“feelings never went away, we hid them under plastic.”

“feelings never went away.”

“i say i know my mind, but overlook the workings of my heart.”

“i blew it bad this time.”

“i’m disappearing back to the start.”

“hide away what i’d die to say.”

“doesn’t take the rain for the ride to change.”

“i guess i better wake up.”

“i guess i didn’t know it.”

“i didn’t show it.”

“it was always true.”

wyatt stone daisy jones : stumbled on sublime

“i’ll go have a coffee.”

“i stumbled on sublime.”

“getting through the day was always such a chore.”

“let yourself live a little more.”

“stumbled on sublime ‘til the signals weak.”

“stumbled on sublime ‘til i can’t speak.”

“she’s all around your head, she’s dancing on the edges of your mind.”

“she’ll all around your head.”

“she’s dancing on the edges of your mind.”

“i’ll listen again.”

“i wonder if i might see you around this way again.”

“out there somewhere wild off the night.”

“she’s out there where the storms don’t break.”

“she’s out there and it’s keeping me awake.”

simone jackson : up to you

“all that i can do is wait.”

“if i can’t understand maybe i can still relate.”

“someone has been in your shoes before.”

“most of the time, they just walk right out the door.”

“i’ll leave it up to you.”

simone jackson : a song for you

“i’ve been a lot of place in my life and time.”

“i’ve made some bad rhymes.”

“i’ve acted out my life on stages.”

“this world will know now.”

“i know your image of me is what i hope to be.”

“i’ve treated you unkindly.”

“there’s no one more important to me.”

“can’t you see through me?”

“you taught me precious secrets of a true love.”

“you taught me precious secrets.”

“you came by the front and i was hiding.”

“i was hiding.”

“i’m so much better.”

“i’ll love you in a place where there’s no space or time.”

“i’ll love you for my life.”

“cause you’re a friend of mine.”

“when my life is over remember when we were together.”

simone jackson : ya love ain’t enough

“you know your love ain’t enough.”

“don’t tell me you’re in love.”

“the world was a dark place, but you showed my your light.”

“you swept me off my feet.”

“i know i am strong cause you wanna lend me your heart.”

“i gotta say, though i don’t want to, there’s nothing left for me to say.”

“there’s nothing left for me to say.”

“don’t let me fall in love.”

simone jackson : last night together

“you think you can hold back, i don’t.”

“you think you can hold back.”

“i’ll make it go on like this forever.”

“you will find out you were wrong.”

“this is our last night together.”

“people say i’m free but they don’t know me.”

“i like it wild.”

“guess it’s time to let you go.”

“let me get the last round.”

“i’ll need no man to lead me to the promise land.”

“say what you want, calling me and my friends deviants.”

“say what you want.”

“i am a diamond under pressure.”

the dunne brothers : look me in the eye

“i put the man in the moon.”

“i put the grease on the wheel.”

“i put the sword in the stone.”

“i lit the southern stars.”

“i know you don’t mean it.”

“you can’t turn around and look me in the eye.”

“look me in the eye.”

“turn around and say it to my face.”

“say it to my face.”

“i can feel the hole in your memory.”

“i’ll show you things you can’t unsee.”

the dunne brothers : flip the switch

“come on, you can’t be serious.”

“you can’t even take a joke.”

“the sun is shining down on you.”

“come on and pull the trigger.”

“is that a version of an invitation?”

“you couldn’t say you never loved her, could you?”

“you couldn’t flip the switch.”

“you couldn’t pull the trigger.”

“i hear you taking to yourself, but do you ever really listen?”

“i hear you taking to yourself.”

“do you ever really listen?”

“is there some burden on your soul?”

“can you tell me what i’m missing?”

“it’s too late.”

“it’s too late now.”

the dunne brothers : silver nail

“when you feel like nothing’s real and you can’t sleep, that’s when you call me.”

“steady hands and joke amend are reliable.”

“it could’ve been you.”

“i couldn’t be sure.”

“isn’t that fair?”

“there’s a piece we never lost and we never found.”

“there’s a piece we never lost.”

“shaking that tree and still no fruit came down.”

“when good enough is just good enough.”

“my world that hangs on a wire, what will i do when it all catches fire?”

“you may call, but i won’t be around.”

“i can’t pick up, cause i just can’t put you down.”

“i just can’t put you down.”

the winters : over/under

“i will be an ordinary guy.”

“they just never know how to spot an angel in the snow.”

“i will show you something true if you really want me to.”

“i will show you something true.”

“if you really want me to.”

“it’s always nice with her.”

“it’s an over/under deal.”

“watch the over under, that calm that you fake.”

“watch me lose my ordinary regret.”

#rp prompts #rp memes #rp meme #daisy jones and the six rp prompts #daisy jones and the six rp meme #writing prompts #roleplay sentence starters #roleplay prompts #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #roleplay meme #long post /#q.

10 notes · View notes

poisonhemloc · 1 year

Text

y’all feel free to ignore me i needed somewhere to put this recipe where i can find it again

Adapted from this recipe which is my favorite chocolate creme brulee recipe

Ingredients: 2 cups whipping (or heavy) cream, 3 small lemons (zested and juiced) 1 tbsp vanilla extract, 6 egg yolks, 6 tbsp sugar. Also, spare sugar, for caramelizing the top. Also also, medium heavy saucepan, at least two spoons/a wooden spoon and a whisk/some kinda stir thing, baking tray (like a 9x13 thats like twoish inches deep)(its not too important its just gotta fit the ramekins), 6 ramekins (small bowls essentially), hot water.

Instructions:

1. Put cream and lemon zest in a medium, heavy saucepan.

2. Bring to simmer. Do not walk away at any point while the cream is on the stove. No, not even to take cat pictures. It will know. And it will boil over.

2.5. You can, though, if you’re keeping a close eye on it, get your eggs separated while you wait for the simmer (i have counter space right next to the stove so doable for me)

3. Remove from heat. Add vanilla and lemon juice, stir, let it continue to sit off heat.

4. Stir together eggs and sugar in whatever size container will fit them.

5. Temper the sugar/egg mix- get your hot cream (if you let it cool down all the way, you have either more patience or worse object permanence than I do) next to the sugar/egg bowl, slowly pour in a spoonful while stirring the eggs. Do that a couple more times til you think the mix is hot enough you’re not gonna end up with scrambled eggs, then pour the sugar/egg/cream into the rest of the cream, stirring quickly the entire time (get a friend if you need to for this)(I temper bigger stuff like pudding for banana pudding this same way and it is easier with a second person helping but even if they had thumbs my cats wouldn’t help)

5.5. Strain the mix (ideally into a good container for pouring)(you don’t have to but zest texture makes me gag and if you accidentally scrambled some eggs this’ll take that out)

6. ‘let cool to room temperature’ (jk) Oven to 300 F, put a rack in the middle of it.

7. Grab the baking pan, arrange ramekins inside baking pan (I cluster everything next to each other for this bit) Pour cream into ramekins, as evenly as possible. Pour hot water into the baking tray until they’re half submerged (I now move everything to be evenly spaced)

8. Bake until just set- about 40 min (the center might be a little jiggly still but the side shouldn’t be). Let cool (’on racks’ listen I get them out of the bath and onto the stovetop and they cool there it’s fine. it’s fine)

To serve- you need that crunchy sugar layer. You’ve got some options here (don’t use brown sugar for this)

You can- spread sugar over the top of each thing you’re gonna eat and either torch it if you’re fancy and you have one or put them on a cookie tray and put it all under a broiler for a bit (watch it, broilers love burning your things as much as milk loves boiling over)

You can also put sugar into your hopefully clean heavy medium saucepan and melt it and pour that on top, then put the brulees back in the fridge til you can touch them. (I prefer to do this, because i want More Crunch Contrasting Texture and trying to torch/broil the unmelted sugar burns bits for me)

Have fun, use this as a jumping off point. I’ve done lemon raspberry off this, and if I get my brain cooperative I’m gonna mess with some more citrus fruits

#Poisonhemloc’s rambles #food #creme brulee #lemon creme brulee #tagging mostly so i can find this and dont have to go scrolling through years of facebook messenger to find my modifications again #...yeha so this is my favorite dessert and i use to make it semi frequently and then pandemic happened and i have both barely cooked #and barely baked since and like. yeah. pandemic made *gestures* worse

6 notes · View notes

sarah-dipitous · 1 year

Text

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 163

Heartache/A Good Man Goes to War

“Heartache”

Plot Description: Sam and Dean investigate a string of unusual murders in which the victims were all recipients of organs from the same donor

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: well, hmm. I wouldn’t be out running alone late at night…..or at all. So, maybe??

I don’t know what it is but this feels like a much older episode

You’re allowed to produce shop, Dean. It’s good for you. Don’t get mad at Sam for wanting fresh, organic apples

This officer HATES Dean lol

I wanna be mad at Dean every time he makes remarks about Sam’s year off, but I’d be the same way

Oh thank god Sam was recording that guy’s babbling. Ah, damn.

How…did Sam just get access to that dude’s medical records??

How did I know they’d reverse the expectation for that next murder. Good for her

I can’t believe we’re back on the Sam wants out of the family business conversation AGAIN

I shouldn’t be…so…at her smearing blood on her face and taking a bite of a human heart

Do we know for sure that Eleanor is his mom though?? Oh. OH. OHHH. The football player drove off the road to end his deal with the Mayan maize god.

And she wasn’t his mom!!! Betsy from the letters IS Eleanor

I can’t tell if she…….DEAN. Anyway. Eleanor and Brick’s story is beautiful and sad and horrifying all at once

I would let her rip out my heart and eat it in front of me

It’s literally so weird that they forgot Sam was there, too. All three focused so much on Dean, and all Sam had to do was bash one of them over the head with a beer bottle?

Oh. Sam’s gonna try to leave again…

“A Good Man Goes to War”

Plot Description: it’s the battle of Demon’s Run, and River Song has something to tell the Doctor

The way Amy and Rory constantly get torn away from each other…

AND the way they keep trying to make us think Amy’s in love with the Doctor ALL THE FUCKING TIME

It’s exhausting

I’m sure these like…space station grunt workers will tie into the grander scheme at some point but I can’t bring myself to care about them…yet…?

Is this the Silurian woman who becomes a…not companion, but frequent ally of the Doctor? (The way my brain went through V names and tried to convince me her name was Vriska as if I’ve even read homestuck) it IS her because that’s Jenny. Jenny, right?? Yes.

Oh to be fighting with laser guns but dressed like you’re in Pride and Prejudice. That’s such a good way to stage a scene

Why DO they even attempt to keep River locked up? Or is it mostly self-imposed out of some sense of penance

Knowing what we eventually find out about River and hearing her tell Rory that it’s her birthday 😭

Ohhhh…the space station grunts are the underlings to the people who kidnapped Amy.

They really made the headless monks Sith Nazgûl huh?

I do like the interspecies lesbians

It’s interesting to think about this episode in contrast to The Pandorica Opens (if that was the first of the Pandorica episodes). We have a lot of the same elements, but now the Doctor has gathered a group of different alien species to do the attacking. It’s kind of no wonder the one grunt talks of him as a dark legend

The pirate crew??????? Hell yeah!

One, the Colonel Run Away speech is powerful but two, you being angry isn’t new, Doc. You can pretend you’re a silly little muppet man all you want but….no

Oh I like that bit of dialogue too “the anger of a good man is not a problem. good men have too many rules” “good men don’t need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many”

Noooooo, after that really touching reunion I’D FORGOTTEN THAT THEY REPLACED MELODY TOO. THAT’S NOT THEIR REAL BABY

I can’t believe he’s putting a time limit on Amy and the Doctor hugging…..

That would be so unbelievably traumatizing. If your newborn child liquified in your arms.

No matter what it is that River says here, no matter how right she is, part of the reason she couldn’t come here til now was because she shouldn’t cross her own time stream

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

5 notes · View notes

portaltothevoid · 2 years

Text

Foolin’ (13//20) eddie munson x ofc

Summary: Happy Halloween! Kat and Eddie go the party. Kat gets very drunk. She’s spunky, she dances, and... you just have to read it to find out what else.

Word count: 4.6k (it’s long, it’s worth it, and you’re welcome)

Warnings: drinking, smoking, throwing up, bit of angst, bit of flirting, bit of spice, the slow burn is burning down the house, i don’t have time to edit and put in the italics i am just too excited to get this out to you guys

Taglist: @munchabunch @madaboutmunson @morphie316sims @michele131 @riffcrusader

Music poured out of the house and flooded the neighborhood. People in all kinds of different costumes filled almost every space in and around the party. “We gotta find Robin,” Kat said just before they stepped through the front door. No sooner did they set foot in the house, did heads start turning to look at them. Conversations stopped mid-sentence and topics switched to be about the newest arrivals. Were they together? What was Kat even wearing? What was she supposed to be? And why did she look so good? Some of the more popular girls rolled their eyes, the guys just stared wide-eyed.

Kat wandered around the first floor of the house trying to locate Robin or at least try to spot Steve’s signature locks through the crowd. Finally they found them outside playing beer pong again. Robin noticed everyone else’s stares being directed a certain way before she finally saw Kat. “Kat! Hey! You made it…with Eddie! Hi!” Robin greeted them when they arrived at the table.

“Hey! Sorry, took us a bit to find you. I love the Bowie costume,” Kat gushed. Robin spun around, showing it off.

“Thanks! I love your… oh my god.” She said when she fully took in Kat’s costume.

“Is it too much? I feel like it’s too much. I mean, I love this outfit, but I don’t think there isn’t a single person that hasn’t stared at us.”

“Are you crazy? They’re staring because of how ho– how…” Robin started, her eyes growing wide as she looked over to Steve to save her.

“Because of how hot you are, Kat.” Steve chimed in nonchalantly. Kat was standing close enough to Eddie that she felt him tense up at the compliment.

“Mission accomplished then.” Kat said with a smirk. “Okay so can we jump in here or do we gotta wait til the next game?” She asked, nodding at the table.

“Perfect timing, just gotta reset,” Steve said.

They played long enough for Kat to get a buzz from the beer she had, but was quickly growing bored due to the fact her and Eddie were winning. He was quiet for the most part, staying back just to observe. Steve calling Kat hot actually got on his nerves enough that he had to control himself from constantly giving him an attitude. Luckily, he played it off well, keeping up with the group's banter. It was more like a lingering feeling in the back of his mind.

“I’m gonna go get us some real drinks,” Eddie said once the game was over.

“Okay, we’ll be out here so you can find us.” Kat said, smiling at him. He went into the house, disappearing into the sea of people that filled the large living room. As soon as he was inside, Kat turned to Robin. “Okay, I think you’re right.”

“About…?”

“About, you know…” Kat said as she nodded towards the house, referring to Eddie. She ended up recounting the events that happened in the car on the way to the party.

“Wow, it only took you a few days to catch up to the rest of the class!” Robin teased.

“Robin, what do I do?!” Kat said, clearly showing how flustered she was by the whole situation.

“What do you mean? You guys are perfect for each other. If he’s being obvious enough that even you are catching on now…”

“No, but, I can’t. This won’t… We’re friends. We need to stay friends.” Robin just gave Kat a look. “It’s true! It’s better that way. Ugh! You know what, I’m not dealing with this tonight.” She huffed as she grabbed a random solo cup filled with beer off the pong table and just downed it.

Robin raised her eyebrows at Kat. “Because that is definitely one way the truth won’t come out,” she mumbled.

“So, Kat, what are you supposed to be anyway?” Steve asked her.

“Uh… a cultist? I just wanted to give the people a little scare,” Kat giggled.

“Definitely spooky.” Steve nodded in agreement. Robin’s eyes lit up and she nudged Steve. “Ow! What?”

“Cynthia! One o’clock!” Robin pointed out.

Steve ran his hand through his hair. “Sorry ladies, but duty calls,” he said, bowing out of their little group.

“Are you guys, like, each other’s wingperson or something?” Kat asked.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Robin chuckled lightly, taking a sip of her drink.

“Maybe Vickie is here somewhere…” Kat whispered loud enough for just Robin to hear as she strained her neck looking around. Robin almost choked on her drink. “Sorry, sometimes I can just tell. I’ve seen her sneaking glances at you, it’s totally cute. And like, don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul. I’ve done some crazy shit at parties back home too, so like, I get it.”

“I… uh, wow. Okay. That’s actually a relief you already know. Wait, no. There’s no way Vickie even notices me. Are you crazy?”

“Now who’s the one that has to catch up with the rest of the class?” Kat smirked.

“No. Nope. There’s no way. She doesn’t even notice me outside of band.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that!” Kat said in a sing-songy voice. Now it was Robin’s turn to down the rest of her drink and grab another of whatever was in reach. Kat was shaking her head as Eddie weaved his way back by her side.

“Took forever to find that,” he said as he handed her her ice-filled drink, which Kat sniffed to figure out what it was and it quickly brought a smile to her face.

“You remembered!” She said excitedly as she took a sip of the whiskey Eddie brought her.

“Of course I did,” Eddie said, shrugging in a self-assured manner.

Robin raised her eyebrows again and casted a look at Kat. “Shut up, Robin,” she mumbled into her drink in response as she took another big gulp of it.

“She didn’t say anything?” Eddie asked, confused.

“Well that was a bust.” Steve said as he rejoined the group.

“You’re back already? Oof.” Robin said, Steve shot her a look.

“I’ll have you know everything was going very well. Until her boyfriend showed up.” He said flatly, rolling his eyes before taking a large sip of the drink in his hand.

“Weren’t you supposed to be, like, some hotshot here or something?” Kat asked. Eddie and Robin both stifled their laughter.

“I still am a hotshot, Kat. Thank you very much. It’s not my fault that the ladies are being hard to get.”

“Oh yeah, sure, Steve, blame the ladies.” Kat mocked and then bursted out laughing, taking another sip of her whiskey.

“How did you not know Cynthia had a boyfriend?” Eddie chimed in. Steve and Robin looked at him, surprised he even knew who they were talking about.

“Well, some of us actually graduated on time, Munson,” Steve shot back. Eddie just flipped him off.

“And don’t some of us move on from high school once they graduate, Harrington? Hmm?” Kat retorted, squinting her eyes at Steve. Eddie covered his mouth with his fist as a poor attempt to hide his laughter.

“She got you good, Harrington.” Robin laughed. Steve just sputtered nonsense as he tried to come up with a comeback, but couldn’t.

“Alright,” Kat began, throwing back the rest of her whiskey, “it’s time to dance.” She grabbed Eddie’s hand and made her way into the house. “Come on guys, you know you wanna!” She called behind her to Robin and Steve. They looked at each other and shrugged and followed them inside.

Kat didn’t even register what song was playing, she just immersed herself in the sea of costumed bodies with Eddie by her side. She danced and laughed, forgetting about her past and her worries. It took some convincing and another drink to get Eddie to really loosen up, but Kat’s drunken happiness was infectious. He couldn’t help but join her. Even Robin and Steve went right along with her, just letting loose and enjoying some carefree moments.

Some time later, she did need to take a small break. She yelled over the music to her friends that she was going to get another drink. Grabbing Eddie by the hand again, she dragged him with her. All the drinks were strewn about the kitchen. Empty bottles, half full bottles, knocked over cups, all littered the counter space.

“Kat, you really should have some water before you have anything else,” warned Eddie, which caused Kat to pout.

“Aww, daddy, you’re no fun.” She tried to keep pouting, but ended up in a fit of giggles.

“Excuse you?” Eddie asked in a high pitched voice with his eyebrows raised as high as they would go, truly stunned by her comment.

“You heard me.” She laughed again, leaning into him, covering her face.

“Yeah, I’m getting you water.” He said as he searched for a clean solo cup. When he did, he filled it up with water from the tap. “Please, just humor me, and drink this.” Kat shrugged and did as she was told.

“Okay, but, I’m having one more drink after this.”

“Whatever, just drink that. All of it.” She gave him a salute and downed the water in a couple gulps, turning it upside down when she was done.

“See? All gone.” After she gave him a shit-eating grin and gave him back the cup. She then found a shot glass and washed it in the sink. Eddie just laughed at her sudden responsibleness. “Now you’re being responsible?” He commented.

“What! I don’t know where this has been.” She defended. Once she was done, she combed through all the bottles that still had something in them. Nestled next to the fridge was a little tequila station. Her eyes lit up and she made a beeline over to it. Before Eddie could even register what she was getting up to, her hand was salted and the shot poured. He only realized after she had it knocked back and went to bite the lime what she had gotten into.

“You do not mess around do you? Okay, okay. I think you’re good for now. How about another glass of water? Yeah?” He said as he got her a refill. Luckily, the one shot had satisfied her and she happily drank the water. It wasn’t until she heard the opening drum beat to “Take On Me” by A-Ha did her eyes become as wide as a kid’s first glimpse of their Christmas presents.

“Come on! Don’t even tell me you don’t love this song!” She grabbed Eddie by the wrist this time, pulling him onto the dance floor. She sang the words right to him as loud as she could and danced her little heart out, but after the first chorus, she broke away from him and climbed up on a table nearby. She was whooping and hyping everyone up before she started belting out the lyrics. When she sang “You’re all the things I’ve got to remember, You’re shying away, I’ll be coming for you anyway,” she sang it directly to Eddie, giving him a wink before she continued her impromptu performance.

When the song ended, Eddie helped her down. It was miraculous she didn’t fall, given how high her heels were. People around her cheered, celebrating the fun show.

“Kat, are you serious?! You can sing! That was wild!” Robin declared running up to Kat.

“Thank you, thank you!” Shortly after, Kat excused herself to go to the bathroom. Eddie let her go, keeping a watchful eye at a safe distance in the off chance she heard someone gossiping about her and decided to let them have it. She made it to the bathroom alright, but on the way back to her friends, things went a little differently when she did indeed catch two girls talking about her.

“Oh my god, look at her. She clearly just wants attention.” Some basketball player’s girlfriend was saying.

“Right? I mean her outfit is just asking for it. She looks like a total slut. Trying to show off. And for what?”

“Seriously, like, I get it’s Halloween, but who does she think she even is?”

“And she’s with that freak, Munson! Is that who she’s trying to impress? Like, ew!”

Kat, feeling bold as ever, slid herself right between the two girls and looked at her nails. “I don’t know, I thought I looked amazing in this outfit, which you two probably couldn’t pull off, like, ever.” The girls exchanged scared looks with each other. “What? Don’t stop talking on my account just because I’m here. I would love to hear more. Do you think my dancing was a little too much? I tried to tone it down so I could sing, but I just couldn’t help myself!” Kat paused looking at them expectantly, waiting for a response. “Aw, what’s wrong ladies? Cat’s got your tongues?” She sarcastically pouted as she grabbed both girls by their shoulders. Her clever pun was inspired by her thinking she had literally been pinching their tongues down. She imagined the grip she had on their shoulders to be like the grip she could have had on their tongues to get them to shut up. The girls started to whimper as if that was actually happening to them, but anyone who saw them would think it was because of Kat’s grip. “Maybe next time, you should check who’s around before you start talking shit, yeah? And for the record, I am simply having fun and Eddie is like, my best friend, so keep his name out of your mouths.” Her grip tightened even harder with her last sentence. It wasn’t until she heard her name did she lose her focus. She noticed Eddie coming towards her and her gaze softened. She released the girls with a shove and went right to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and spinning him around so she was facing the girls, staring them down.

Eddie held Kat by her waist, slightly taken aback at her sudden outburst of continued affection. Not that he was complaining, he just knew she needed to get home soon. “Hey, you wanna get outta here? Nothing is going to top a Kat Ramsay performance, so as far as I’m concerned this party is over.” He said, whispering into her ear. She let go of him, her hand sliding down his arm, as she grabbed his hand yet again. Every time she did that, it sent shockwaves through Eddie and he did his best not to let that show outwardly. “Okay, let me just say bye to Robin!” She dragged Eddie behind her, finding Robin so they could let her know they were leaving. Soon enough, they were nearing her car, Kat never letting go of Eddie’s hand.

Kat’s displays of affection were actually surprising to him. He knew something would happen between them eventually, but seeing Kat completely let go of any and all inhibitions made him realize just how much she kept inside. Immediately when he first saw her and her attitude he could tell that she had been through some shit. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. The closer they became, the more attached he got.

Eddie was someone who could easily take care of himself in any given situation. He usually was smart when it came to picking his battles, but the way Kat time and time again went to his immediate defense when someone said his name with even the slightest negative tone, warmed his heart more than anything ever had before. If she was the reason he was fated to repeat years and years of high school, he would do it over and over and over again if it meant having her by his side.

As they got closer to Kat’s car, the terrain made her a little wobbly. Not wanting her to break an ankle, Eddie dropped her hand and put his arm around her waist to steady her, guiding her to the passenger side of her car. He went to open the door for her, but she slithered in front him and leaned against her car, blocking the door. She reached for the belt loops on his breeches and pulled him close to her. Adoration filled her eyes as she gazed into his. She reached up to brush some curls that had fallen out of place. “You look so pretty in the moonlight,” she whispered. The moon having been full just a few days prior was still bright enough to illuminate his features. Kat, still having her hand up, moved it to gently stroke his cheek with the back of fingers.

Suddenly, for the second time that night, she lurched forward to wrap her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. Her movement caused Eddie to take a slight step back, but he instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist, steadying the both of them. “You’re, like, my best friend. Like, I’ve never had a friend like you and…and it’s… Please just don’t leave me. I don’t think… I couldn’t handle–” She continued to whisper in his ear while her eyes welled up with tears.

Eddie pushed her back just so that he could look at her. “Hey, hey. Don’t cry.” He consoled as he wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I’m not going to leave you. I would never leave you.”

“But everyone does. Everyone always does.” Kat bit her lip to keep it from quivering. Eddie cupped her face in his hands.

“Well, I am not everyone, sweetheart. I, Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson, solemnly swear to never abandon you. You have my word.” He said, leaning his forehead onto hers. She smiled but then lightly pushed his shoulder back.

“Don’t call yourself a freak. I don’t like that. You’re a nerd. Not a freak.” She said sternly. Eddie playfully rolled his eyes.

“Fine then. I, Eddie ‘The Nerd’ Munson, solemnly swear to never abandon you. Better?”

“Mhm. Much better,” giggled Kat.

“Gross! Get a room you Satanic freaks!” Some jock in a toga yelled to them as he and his group of friends were walking to their cars. Kat squinted her eyes to see who it was over Eddie’s shoulder and saw they had the two girls that she confronted earlier in tow.

“Kat, just leave it alone, let’s get you home now.” Eddie said purposefully trying to move her away from the door handle.

Her breathing picked up and she felt this tingling rage slowly build up inside her. She just waved her hand as if trying to knock the guy over. In her head she was imagining slamming him in the side with a wall of energy. And just like that, he toppled over into the bushes. “What the–!” She heard him yell. All his other friends were making fun of him for being too drunk. While one guy offered a hand to help him up, he stared at Kat horrified. She returned his stare by glaring at him menacingly. “Yeah, I’m over this. Let’s get out of here.”

Eddie helped her into the car, his heart singing as she somehow managed to defend him yet again. He was never really sure how whenever she was around, something always happened to those that tried to mess with either of them. Shaking his head, he ignored the insane thought that popped into his mind. It was probably just a coincidence. Meanwhile, as Kat sat in the car waiting for Eddie to get in, she wiped her nose on her cloak. Blood. It had been years since this had regularly happened to Kat and ever since coming to Hawkins it had been happening more and more again. She shrugged it off, still too drunk to care. She shuffled through her tapes again. “Ah ha!” She said when she found the one she was looking for. “This is the Halloween feel I want.” Happily she began bobbing her head to the opening chords of “Evil” by Mercyful Fate. Eddie smiled and chuckled to himself, always taken by surprise how alike him and Kat were.

Towards the end of the drive, Eddie took a chance by asking Kat a serious question. He figured she was more likely not to dodge it in her current state. “Why do you always defend me around the jocks?”

“Because they’re assholes and you don’t deserve to be treated like that.” She matter of factly stated through slurred speech. “Stop trying to be the big tough boy that doesn’t let anything bother him. I know it does!” She clumsily raised her finger, pointing at Eddie.

“You don’t gotta go fighting my battles, you know. I’ve dealt with this for…pretty much my whole life. Part of the territory.”

“Well. I don’t let people treat my friends like shit. Deal with it.” Kat huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Sometimes it’s not worth it to do that every single time.” This caused Kat to squint her eyes and slowly turn her head to look at him.

“Don’t. Care. Deal with it.”

“Kat, I know how they are. I’m telling you–” He knew this conversation should have been tabled for later, but he couldn’t help himself from trying to explain it to her.

“And I’m telling you, I can’t control myself when I get pissed off. If it’s bad enough, I just. Weird shit happens and I can’t control it. So, you’re just gonna have to deal.”

Luckily before things escalated anything further, Eddie parked the car in Kat’s driveway. She carefully made her way into her house, plopping on the seat in her foyer to take off her boots.

“Okay, so, welcome to my humble abode.” Kat said, presenting the first floor to Eddie.

“I see what you mean about it not having much character.”

“Right?! I told you. So generic.” Kat made her way up the stairs. “You just gonna stand there? This is the grand tour.” When she turned to start up the stairs again she tripped, but quickly caught herself. “Oop, careful, there’s a step there,” she giggled as she continued on her way to her room, Eddie quickly catching up to her.

“How do you make it a whole night in those boots and you trip barefoot up your own stairs?” He asked her, laughing. She just shrugged and continued giggling.

“That’s the bathroom,” she pointed to her left. “This is my room.” She turned to the right and opened her door, flipping on the lights. Of course, Eddie went straight to her guitar. Kat threw her shoes near her closet and took off her cloak. “You can stay awhile. My aunt won’t be back til, like, I dunno, late?” Kat said as she left briefly to use the bathroom. Eddie poked around her room, taking his time to go through her extensive record collection while he waited for her to come back.

When she returned, she went to the middle drawer in her desk and fished out a pack of Marlboros and a lighter. She stumbled over to her window, opening it, and lighting her cigarette. Kat was staring at the moon while Eddie went and put Dio’s Sacred Heart album on. Striding over to her, he held out his hand and said “Care to share?” Tearing her gaze from the window, she flapped her hand around to get the pack of smokes off her desk to hand it to him with a dopey smile across her face. He lit up his own cigarette, leaning against Kat’s desk next to where she sat on top of it, swinging her legs.

Eddie looked down at her, a half smile on his face as he just watched her sway her head to the music. It took half a song before she looked up at him. “What?” She laughed.

“Nothin’.” He smiled before he took another drag. Kat put hers out in an abalone shell ashtray.

“You can say it’s ‘cause I’m pretty.”

Taking a final drag and putting out his cigarette, he shook his head and laughed at her. “Pretty doesn’t even begin to cover it, princess.”

She hopped off the desk, Eddie quickly grabbed her arm to steady her. Twirling to face him, she crossed her arms on his chest and rested her chin on them, looking up at him. “Then what does?” She asked, batting her eyelashes. Before he could even respond, the tattoo on his chest caught her eye instantly distracting her. She pulled his shirt to the side and analyzed it, revealing there were actually two there. Lightly, she traced them with her fingers. Eddie had hoped she couldn’t feel his heart rate steadily increasing. “I like these,” she smiled as she moved to trace the one that looked like some kind of demon. “Why a black widow?”

“Recurring dream.” He whispered.

Kat’s eyes lit up in surprise. “Like me! Remember when I told you about..?” She said with a look of excited shock still on her face as she pointed to her left forearm.

“I remember,” he chortled.

Kat left her hand on his chest, bringing her gaze up to his eyes. Her other hand began to play with his hair, twirling one his curls around her finger. “Do you think…Do you think we’re just gonna stay friends?” He looked at her quizzically. “Like, just friends,” she slurred. She relaxed her hand and his curl fell across his face. “Because I don’t…” Reaching up to brush the hair out of his face while staring at his lips, she continued, “I don’t think… I dunno how much longer…” Her hand stroked his face before she held his neck. “I can pretend that I don’t…” She cut herself off by pulling him down towards her. In the state she was in, her kiss was sloppy, not that Eddie cared in the slightest. He reached up to hold her face as the kiss deepened. The electricity between them could have caught the room on fire.

Eddie thought he knew Kat well enough, that come tomorrow morning, she would deny what she had just said. He knew she really wasn’t ready to face the feelings she had for him. Not wanting her to regret anything, it took all his strength to break from the kiss and gently push her away. “Kat, we can’t… Not this way,” he whispered breathlessly. She looked confused and almost angry that he was the one who stopped the kiss. “But I thought–” She started but then her face fell. “Uh oh.” She said as she turned around and made a run for the bathroom, the night had finally caught up with her.

She bent over the toilet, emptying all the contents from her stomach. Eddie followed right behind her. He held her hair in one hand and rubbed her back with the other. When Kat was finished, she flushed the toilet and leaned back against the tub. “Shit,” she groaned. Eddie helped her clean herself up, before making sure she got into her bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out.

He caressed her head, muttering “Sweet dreams, princess,” before he saw himself out. All the while he was wondering just how much Kat would remember from tonight. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted her to remember everything, debating if it was best if she didn’t. He feared she would be filled with regret and remorse at her drunken antics. During his drive home he planned out scenarios of what he would say to make sure they stayed friends, in case she did end up feeling that way. He sighed as he entered his trailer. The wait until he could talk to her again already felt excruciating, but only time will tell how the ever unpredictable Kat Ramsay would feel.

#eddie munson #robin buckley #steve harrington #eddie munson x ofc #eddie munson slow burn #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction

18 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 1 year

Text

Casey & Janis Pt.6

Casey: I wouldn’t, nobody, whatever they was offering

Janis: me neither

Casey: fuck it up before they’d made that many transfers anyway, nevermind tried to put a ring on us, out of my hands

Janis: whatever Billie gets a % of won’t be worth it

Casey: depressing, back full circle to the comedown

Janis: it is, no avoiding that

Casey: most people’s lives are, reckon I’ll avoid mine being far as I can do, tah

Janis: mine was

Casey: mine too

Janis: what if we default

Casey: I’m not letting that happen

Janis: what if I do

Casey: try it, mate, you heard, give a shit if you fancy having a strop

Janis: I don’t fancy it, it just happens

Casey: what went on with him won’t with me

Janis: I’m just a moody bitch, I think

Casey: your hormones’ll have nowt to do with what’s in your head soon, claim it while you can before she properly takes over

Janis: she can have it, I’m not claiming none of this bullshit

Casey: I will, least some of

Janis: no, none of it

Casey: what makes me look and feel most good, only that sort of dickhead

Janis: you’re lovely, I’m a nightmare

Casey: don’t start this, I’ve said it before, I’ve had nightmares, you’re not

Janis: you’re so good, it makes me mad when I’m not even coming close

Casey: and it makes me fuming when you reckon you’ve gotta play up as owt for me

Casey: how you feel is how I want you to behave

Janis: I don’t want to get this wrong

Casey: talk to us, keep on doing, and we can’t

Janis: alright but now I do feel naive and like a twat

Casey: what for

Janis: because I don’t know how to apologize or fucking

Janis: make you feel like you’re not walking on eggshells now

Casey: you don’t need to apologise, I overstepped the mark if either of us did, I only wanted to make you feel better, but there’s times in the last decade I can’t make you feel okay about, it don’t matter if you done a list a mile long of everything you never did with him and we crossed every one of ‘em off, there’s shit that won’t be crossed out never

Janis: you were giving me space to talk about what I missed out on, that can’t be seen as anything but a good thing

Janis: it just made me feel like a virgin who don’t want anyone to know again

Casey: you feeling like that ‘cause of something I said is a bad thing, give a fuck if I meant it to be good, it weren’t

Casey: I’m sorry

Janis: please don’t say sorry

Janis: it’s me, I made me feel like that because I wasted half my fucking life now

Casey: but you didn’t, it ain’t gonna be half your life, you’ve got so much fucking time to do whatever the fuck you want

Janis: I don’t wanna feel like I’m having a midlife crisis, it’s fucking humiliating

Casey: you’re not my dad, and I’ll say again, I’m not your crap missus

Janis: the reminder ain’t needed quite as much as you give it but

Casey: however you feel, one night and I’ll change it ‘round til you’re more alive than anybody we know

Janis: that’s how you always make me feel

Casey: we have them, ‘cause you ain’t 90, but we don’t need years

Janis: you’ll never get bored of me

Casey: chuck all the eggs you want at me, I’ve walked over worse

Janis: no, tell me I’m fun and so easy to live with, tah

Casey: I’ll show you

Janis: okay, I can agree to that

Casey: and agree to marry us, I don’t care if it’s something boring and middle aged dickheads do, it’ll be different when it’s you and me

Janis: did I not already agree to that?

Casey: yeah, but don’t go and change your mind

Janis: it’s not meant to be a death sentence, I want it

Casey: I want you, in every mood

Janis: forever

Casey: I still feel where you wrote it on me

Janis: you're all over me, all different pressures

Casey: forever, an’ all

Janis: I’d feel really alone properly if I couldn’t still feel you right now, I dunno how I hacked that

Casey: if you couldn’t feel me I’d be right there showing up to make sure you did, I can’t hack leaving you alone with none of this, that I had to before

Janis: Soon, we can be together soon and I don’t have to come back here ‘til the AM

Casey: we’re together now, no dickhead in no other room could pay us enough to piss off ‘til [the time she’s supposed to finish working]

Janis: okay, yeah but I can touch you soon and I need to do that

Casey: so touch where you need to, I’ll feel it, challenge accepted

Janis: [just be busy trying to do that, testing your telepathy]

Janis: how do you feel now

Casey: [the most unnecessarily dramatic video response to her efforts so she can fully see and hear his reaction to what she’s trying to do, no fucks given to the fact she’s at work rn, soz, he’s just here still on this bathroom floor, no clothes at all nbd]

Casey: like that, watch it when you’ve got a sec

Janis: his times nearly up, thank God

Janis: I’m trying not to look because I want to pay you proper attention but

Casey: I can wait if you can

Janis: I’m just having a little preview, that’s it

Casey: 🤏

Janis: I can’t just leave you there, looking like that, fuck

Casey: you’ve left us with loads of goosebumps all over

Janis: sorry but you can’t get dressed yet, find another way to stay warm

Casey: be sorrier if I got dressed, when you get to the end you’ll see how much that’d hurt

Janis: I’m behaving, definitely not anywhere near halfway through

Casey: you’ll have to go back and listen

Janis: I wanna see if I’ve got every sound right, just from how it looks on your face

Casey: you will, you knew exactly what you was doing when you caused them, it felt so right

Janis: I know how to make you happy

Casey: and keep me like it for [however long is left of this countdown because we’re back to edging here lol lol]

Janis: until you can be the one I’m on top of again

Casey: they dunno what they agreed to saying yeah to our table

Janis: I’ll try to keep what I do under it but

Casey: no promises, I get it, nor from me

Janis: you’d look too good laid out like that

Casey: ‘til we’ve our own kitchen that’ll fit a table, we’ve gotta use theirs

Janis: I do miss that table

Casey: practiced my DIY on it, there’ll be no bother doing the same fix again

Janis: we can’t go back there, what if one of them came back

Casey: all the what ifs

Janis: my head is racing with them

Casey: my pulse is, it’s in time to how yours were

Janis: [picture of your fitbit vibe ‘cos makes sense you’d have one for the sporty vibe of it all because hard same]

Janis: somehow every reason why we shouldn’t has fucked off though

Casey: [we all know he’d have one too, she probably got him one as a gift at some point because they were sporty bitches together and like what else are you getting a lad his age, and we all also know he’s sending a pic and his heart rate is v similar because they literally are in sync always it’s not just words they’re saying to be intense]

Casey: tell us why we should

Janis: [it’s too real and thus the 😍 selfie response because what else can you do when there’s another person in the room and you wanna be feral af]

Janis: alright, I’ll give it my best shot…

Janis: 1. Last time 2. Every other time we fucked or almost did in that place 3. We know when it’s empty 4. You miss the next doors loads 5. They could come back any moment

Casey: alright, we’ll stay off the table at [whatever this restaurant is called] and get on our old one on our way back

Janis: only 🤏 gutted you didn’t take convincing so we could talk about it some more, like

Casey: I never said stop talking, did I

Janis: reckoned there was too many memories there but

Janis: some of them need to be kept

Casey: *loads

Janis: yeah, that many, all the ones with you and me

Casey: we’d fall out if you said you wanted me to bin any of them, be the first time I’d have a job to do what I’m told

Janis: you’ve got a proper good recall, be a right dickhead to punish you for it

Janis: especially when it makes me feel everything

Casey: think what you’ll feel when you’re on that table wearing [the outfit he’s picking for her to wear to this dinner date which has now clearly just been chosen that second for being feelsy in reference to one of the times they almost fucked in the kitchen that isn’t icecubegate day obvs, we know the vibes that he’s letting her remember without going into any deets besides the outfit ones, because know she’ll recall it too and we’re righting that wrong]

Janis: you should be thinking about it, exactly how you were back then

Janis: thinking about taking [said outfit off] or pushing it to one side, if I really was looking at you like that, how fast my heart was pounding

Casey: can’t be doubting my recall when you just called it proper good

Janis: I’m telling you what to do, have you finally had enough of that?

Casey: I like it too much to get fed up of it, don’t worry

Janis: I would never ask you to do anything you didn’t really, really wanna do

Casey: you’d never wanna do something I didn’t, what we want’s the same

Janis: It is hard to remember many times it weren’t, too in-synch, pissing everyone else off

Casey: it were more than it weren’t, you couldn’t let on some of the time, that’s all

Janis: yeah, couldn’t exactly be that blatant then

Casey: worth the wait

Janis: you are, every time

Casey: you are

Janis: I know you’re being so patient right now

Casey: [a pic of him that is exactly like the flushed bathroom floor pic she sent him because they love to mirror each other]

Janis: you timed that just as he was fucking off, thank God ‘cos you look so 🥺

Casey: I am so 🥺

Janis: what can I do to make it feel better?

Casey: finish watching, it’ll be mutual

Janis: I have 15 minutes ‘til the next one, I can do it

Casey: in 15 mins you can do loads

Janis: you would know

Janis: look how much you’re achieving

Casey: have to keep on making you proud of us, you know what it means to me

Janis: you mean so much to me, everything

Janis: all I’ve got right now, it’s because of you

Casey: my hormones’ll be in sync with yours if you don’t steady on

Janis: that’s alright, I don’t feel like crying/screaming now, not like that, anyway

Janis: can be your turn

Casey: I’d cry for you if I had it in us

Janis: I know you would

Janis: you never know, tattoo might hurt THAT bad

Casey: maybe if you’d told me I had to get it somewhere else, but I dunno what’d be gayer, paying some lad I went to school with to touch my cock or crying about it when he does

Janis: awh, the gay panic

Janis: they’ll have seen worse, wouldn’t be phased if you puked, pissed yourself and passed out

Casey: too right they will have

Janis: baby, we both know you’re not going to be bothered by some needles really

Casey: me who ain’t phased by sod all, in the wrong job by the sounds of it

Janis: oh no, I’m jealous

Casey: go into business together if you like

Janis: for people who want really shit tattoos

Casey: have a look ‘round, girl, that’s most

Janis: yeah, alright, you got a point

Janis: you can touch as many lads up as you want then

Casey: piss off, that’s what you already do, why am I taking over it

Janis: ‘cos you’re not allowed to touch any girls

Casey: I’m not touching no lads, whatever you’ve heard from [this tattoo artist boy from school lol] ain’t true

Janis: you’re an idiot

Casey: who’ll stick to serving others drinks

Janis: you can do whatever you want, boy

Casey: it is what I want, ‘til she’s here to need taking care of

Janis: Good

Janis: I don’t need to pretend to be thrilled about you touching anyone up

Casey: we’ve been over before how you’re no actress, mate

Janis: dash my career dreams, dickhead

Casey: your career’s sorted, has been for ages

Janis: not good at much, being able to lowkey assault the customer was the only way it was gonna work for me

Casey: you’re good at everything you give a proper go

Janis: it made sense, haven’t had to think about it much since

Janis: was never trying to take over the world like Rih or fix it like my mum

Casey: there’s no need to, what matters is it don’t do your head in having to live in it

Janis: it works for me, yours will too

Casey: us working together is what’s made sense to me, far back as I can think on

Janis: we’re a good team, always has been true

Casey: and that’s the world she’ll come into, I’m happy with it

Janis: you’re happy, I’m happy

Casey: you’re happy, I’m doing something right

Janis: everything

Casey: how it feels

Janis: it’s true, for us

Casey: yeah, very

Janis: I haven’t been this happy, consistently, never

Casey: there’s fuck all more mutual than that

Janis: marry me 🥰

Casey: [not him doing a countdown until they can, thank god the divorce of it all has appaz been changed to a year now instead of two, how highkey you two are]

Janis: no pressure to work off the baby weight

Casey: none from me, like

Casey: I’ve said how fit you’ll look

Janis: I dunno how well that’ll translate to a wedding dress

Casey: in my head it does, really well

Janis: oh yeah?

Casey: if you don’t believe us I’ll take you to try some on

Janis: what if I get shy

Casey: I’ll tell the nosy bitch who works there to piss off out

Janis: 😳 maybe

Casey: just think about it

Janis: is your birthday next

Casey: that you promising you’ll look well pregnant by then

Janis: we’re trying, she can’t help being teeny tiny in there

Casey: it’s my fault, barely feeding you nothing today

Janis: we’re busy

Casey: you’re gonna eat for two in a bit, no arguments

Janis: it’ll be 12 weeks, your birthday

Janis: when you can tell people from

Casey: she’s done that as a present for me, knowing I can’t wait to brag to them at work about her

Janis: she is your best mate, after-all

Casey: ask her if she’d rather I go in for her tattoo then

Janis: don’t even need to, she’s my kid, obviously she’s going to want that

Casey: since she’s your kid she might not fancy waiting when she can have it done same time as yours, I dunno

Janis: nah, wants to be special

Casey: should’ve guessed, that’s so like you

Janis: oi 😏

Casey: they’ll be able to hear her heartbeat’s what it says

Janis: yeah, the first scan

Casey: don’t reckon I’ve eaten a plum but that’s how big she’ll be an’ all

Janis: she’ll still be there, won’t she

Casey: yeah, ‘course she will

Janis: can’t feel her yet, no way to know until they tell you

Casey: we do know though, she’s ours, we don’t need nobody to tell us she’s there

Janis: I’m just a bit

Janis: how am I going to do it, who’s coming

Casey: depends how he is

Janis: There’s no way in hell he’ll want to go with us both, I know that already

Casey: might be you and him or you and me do

Janis: neither of those is fair

Casey: what’s fair to her is having the scan and what’s fair to you is you’re not there on your own, it don’t matter about him or me

Janis: We’ve got a whole month or so to think about it, nothing to do about that now

Casey: right, don’t let none of the maybes do your head in when all sorts could happen between today and my birthday

Janis: exactly, I’d rather plan what we’re doing to celebrate

Casey: other than talking the ear off every dickhead I know or meet about her, I dunno

Janis: you’ve got no ideas, I’ll have to take over then

Casey: my birthday’s usually getting off my face with my mates, but you’re my best mate and you can’t

Janis: you can do that too though

Casey: they’re not gonna fancy hearing about her

Janis: so talk about me

Casey: I don’t wanna hear what they’d have to say, you’re not like the lasses they’re with or I were before

Janis: alright

Casey: I don’t care about the bollocks they’re bothered about no more

Janis: so is it new friends too or

Casey: it’s me and you, you’re the only mate I need

Janis: you know I’m not trying to isolate you

Casey: you know it’s not like that

Janis: but if you still want to go get trashed with your mates and talk about whatever the fuck, then you’re allowed to do that too

Casey: I said I don’t, I’d fall out with them, why would I wanna spend my birthday doing that when I could spend it with you

Janis: okay, I just have to say

Casey: my arm ain’t been behind my back once, you don’t force us into nowt I don’t fancy, never

Janis: it ain’t a habit I’m looking to pick up, just keeping on top of it

Casey: I can’t think what we should get up to ‘cause it’s only just now hitting me it’s alright if I spend my birthday alone with you

Casey: we couldn’t for none of my others, not properly

Janis: yeah it’s mental, we’ve never had this sort of freedom

Janis: sometimes I forget we’re not just hiding in our flat in our own little world

Casey: there’s too many places I’d take you and things I’d do if you just said pick whatever

Janis: there’s years to make up for but we’ve got more

Casey: and yours to celebrate together, not even started on them

Janis: she’ll be here by then, gatecrashing

Casey: when’ll hers be

Janis: [around the time because you can’t be that exact but her actual bday is 17th Sept so like a month before Janis’ and 9 days after Jimmy’s]

Casey: near his

Janis: yeah

Casey: and my mum’s, maybe she’ll do that for us an’ all, let me celebrate it again

Janis: have to see if her timings that good

Casey: how good of a mate she is

Janis: but no pressure, yeah 😏

Casey: not the sort of dad I’ll be

Janis: can’t believe you’re still such a baby, how are you only turning 22

Casey: Oi, who you calling a baby, love

Janis: what you gotta be one for, mate

Casey: I’m not one

Janis: I’ll be 25, may as well be 90

Casey: calm yourself down, you’re not turning 45

Janis: you wish

Casey: what you starting on me for, dickhead

Janis: I’m not, just a joke

Casey: you’d not be laughing if I was with her next door instead of you, about how old she is, ain’t it

Janis: so she says but her face is at least a decade older

Casey: 😏

Janis: you couldn’t pull mrs next door, she hates you

Casey: she don’t have to like us to fuck us

Janis: some people do actually think that’s a requirement, like

Casey: her’d be mad for any attention, especially off someone as fit as me

Janis: 🙄 cocky little shit

Casey: less of the little and it’s a compliment

Janis: I’m not in a complimenting mood but 🤏 cute

Casey: stick to calling me your baby and I’ll give you all the compliments you like, put you in a better mood

Janis: the next doors must be barren, or their kids hate them, she wouldn’t be able to call you baby without crying off

Casey: be a right ugly crier, not like you

Janis: I miss you

Casey: how long’s it

Janis: [do your timer moment]

Casey: nah, fuck that, I need to see you

Janis: you have to wait

Casey: I can’t

Janis: we already had our two hour lunch

Casey: ages ago

Janis: pisstake, ain’t it

Casey: hang on, I’m practicing putting on a fake limp

Janis: I don’t just do walk-ins, you know, got a long waiting list, tah v much

Casey: bit rude you wouldn’t for me if I’d dived for a ball or some bollocks how they do

Janis: you’re special, are you

Casey: I’ve heard it somewhere before, yeah

Janis: you know I’d love to see you but I only have 2 more dickheads to go today

Casey: alright

Janis: If we don’t try, I’m never going to get better at this

Casey: you’re perfect at it

Janis: to you, but I can barely concentrate and all I wanna do is walk out the door any given minute to come find you

Casey: I’m sorry, last thing I for real fancy doing is fucking up your waiting list

Janis: I wouldn’t change it but I know I have to behave

Casey: I’ll leave you to get on how I said I would with that other dickhead, behave myself

Janis: but

Casey: we best try, you said it

Janis: and we’re alright?

Casey: we’re okay, that beats alright

Janis: good, don’t ever be mad at me and not say shit, do my head in

Casey: I’ve not got it in us to behave in a way that does owt but let every dickhead in the world know when I’m fuming, have I

Janis: could have it in you to sulk for the rest of my shift, it’s legit not that long

Janis: but I believe you

Casey: if you want me to stick my bottom lip out for the rest of your shift, I will do, I can give it all that 🥺 whenever

Casey: but I’m proud of you, promise

Janis: ‘course I want that and then some but it’s a mixed signal when I’m telling you we’ve gotta try

Janis: listen to myself and give it a shot

Janis: love you the most

Casey: love you more, I’ll be stood there bang on [the time] waiting with my 🥺 that proves it

Casey: and your clothes

Janis: [recite the outfit he said he’d bring]

Casey: [likewise remind her of what you’ll be wearing and why]

Janis: 😍 I can see you so clearly, gonna have to pinch me to prove you’re real when you’re actually here

Casey: we’ve gone harder with weirder foreplay in public, be alright

Janis: when was it weird 😢

Casey: it weren’t ever as far as I’m concerned, but if you start an office poll you’ll never crack on with your last dickheads

Janis: I am not dying to hear any of their input or latest situationship woes, don’t worry

Casey: and if I let you hear all the reminders of what I actually thought about it you won’t behave how you’ve gotta

Janis: fuck this, it’s too hard

Casey: no, you can do it, baby

Casey: I’ve seen you keep on with harder shit than this like it were piss easy

Janis: but I wanna hear or surely I won’t concentrate, imagining what you could be imagining

Casey: [obvs do go into all the deets I cannot remember about every public hookup y’all have had so far and how into every second of it you were, boy]

Janis: [add your own mems in because likewise but also send him a covert pic of this client like I’m working, don’t worry lmao]

Casey: I’m trying to be jealous but I fucking can’t of him, like

Janis: I wouldn’t [whatever the most unhinged thing y’all did in public was, matter of opinion I suppose but you get the point lol] for him

Casey: or [an unhinged thing they haven’t done but he’s proposing they do outside her place of work when he shows up like a heathen, probably don’t, whatever it is, but you know]

Janis: anything for you, just you

Casey: for us both, you’ll like it as much

Janis: could be more

Casey: we’ll see, I’m getting into that phrase 🤏

Janis: so daddy

Casey: it’s always a yeah for my girls though

Janis: the only kind of we’ll see I want to hear 😈

Casey: now I’m allowed to say yeah you’ll never hear me telling you no

Janis: how am I meant to not entirely abuse that power

Casey: you must be meant to, if you dunno what else

Janis: you’ll like it as much

Janis: promise

Casey: I trust you

Janis: you’re so special, for real

Casey: you

Janis: you, I’m going to make tonight so good for you

Casey: I’ll bend over backwards to make it a date that’s as special as you are, with or without bending you over a table an’ all

Janis: and then I’m keeping you company all night

Casey: if she makes you tired there’s somewhere I can put you, I’ve already sorted it

Janis: intriguing

Casey: looking after you’s first thing in my head anywhere I go

Janis: you kill me

Casey: I just can’t concentrate on owt ‘til I’ve got a plan for you that means you’re okay, they’d get no real work out of me else

Janis: there’s no one better than you, to look after us

Casey: can she hear how shit the music is, I want her having better taste than what they play

Janis: not yet, she’s not invited anyway, it’s our time alone

Casey: that’s alright then, know you’ve some taste

Janis: oi, what you saying I’ve not got taste in now

Casey: first husbands

Janis: well, not a lot I can say to that one

Casey: least he does look like us, you can have that

Janis: Casey

Casey: yeah, I know

Janis: it won’t end well if we start talking about him, if we even can

Casey: ignore me, it’s not funny, it probably can’t ever be

Janis: nah it’s just like, even if I did admit he was wrong for me or whatever

Janis: don’t change what’s happened

Casey: it’s an old habit, they’re not easy to change neither, but I get it

Janis: you were just pointing out what was obvious to you, not mad at you for it, then or now

Casey: don’t be mad at me and not say shit yourself, long as you ain’t, we’re still alright

Janis: he’s the underdog now, be a dickhead move for me to try laughing about it but you’re getting used to the role reversal, no worries

Casey: I haven’t stopped making dickhead moves, I dunno if I ever will

Janis: it is different though, him and Bobby have fucked you over too, more mutual

Janis: I cheated on him, black and white case there

Casey: there’s no need to make excuses for us

Janis: just what I reckon

Casey: what I reckon is, he’s no underdog if he got what was coming to him, not seeing it coming isn’t the same thing as him getting what he got ‘cause of what he did or didn’t bother to be doing, sod all’s black and white, we’re all grey

Janis: its hard to see myself as wronged in any sort of way, guess I feel too guilty

Casey: he left you first, I saw it and you felt it, it don’t make what happened okay, it means he’s not the only one fucked over

Janis: okay

Casey: he can be a victim without needing to be a saint as well as

Janis: you’re right, I know you are

Casey: he hurt you and that matters even if nobody else has a clue about it

Janis: you saw it, you care

Casey: but I didn’t do nowt soon enough, I feel guilt for that

Janis: I didn’t help myself either, I’m not helpless, not usually

Casey: I could’ve stood up and said something to stop the wedding, nearly did

Janis: it was a mess, we all were

Casey: I let you down, him too

Janis: it wasn’t your job, it’s okay

Casey: it weren’t a job you could do, you still loved him, and he wasn’t gonna do it himself

Janis: you were a kid, there’s nothing you could’ve done

Casey: I’ve not been a real kid since I don’t even fucking know when

Janis: I know

Janis: none of us can go that far back and do what we should’ve

Casey: I just need you to know that I know where my blame goes, how much there is

Janis: I can’t blame you but I hear what you’re saying still

Janis: things had to happen the way they did, what if it was back then and he took it even worse

Casey: everyone’s gonna say I don’t feel none, ‘cause I’m not sorry this has happened, and I reckon you’re right it had to, but long as you’ve heard what I’ve got guilt about

Janis: I know you do, they can say whatever but they don’t know the half

Janis: I can say I can’t stop thinking about if you had stopped it but still feel guilty

Janis: we don’t have to bring up the reminder every day, every time we reckon we’ve got out of line

Casey: he’s punished you enough and you’ll do the rest without it being worth me or any other twat having a go

Janis: of course I look back and want you to stop me, make me admit how I feel about you

Casey: part of us was too busy shitting myself you wouldn’t, that’s my fucking weakness, and I won’t get rid of it, not fully, ‘cause you didn’t put it there

Janis: there ain’t a man alive that wouldn’t be in that situation, sod the shit put in your head

Janis: most would’ve given up years before that, written it off as over before anything could ever happen

Casey: but the shit put in my head is what tells me I should’ve done, to give up all the bloody time

Casey: what I hate more about Jim than how we’re different and them making it us who’s loads better, is how deep down we’re not different enough

Janis: but you didn’t and we’re here now

Janis: I know you’re talking about more than just me though but how many of your mates you know are in their career path, or even a job they get owt out of but their minimum wage

Janis: your parents fucked you up but it’s normal to have next to no fucking clue what you’re doing at your age, you’re cannier than loads to realise you want to be somewhere else

Casey: I can’t stop myself thinking he can’t let go of you either, just like I couldn’t and didn’t

Janis: He has

Casey: but has he, not really

Janis: yes, he has

Janis: not moving on instantly isn’t the same as holding on, he could not want me less if he tried

Casey: him not wanting you no more but doing sod all about it is the flipside to me wanting you more than anything but doing sod all about it, it’s all not giving up when you should do

Janis: how the fuck do you want me to take this

Casey: I don’t know, I’m just trying to make sense of it

Janis: either way, liking me is a problem you both share

Casey: don’t, it’s not something I regret

Janis: just something you should both get over

Casey: no, I’m only worried he can’t

Janis: no it’s great, I’m just a fucked up coping mechanism for you two, thanks

Casey: why have you gotta take it like that

Janis: read back what you just said, or don’t, this is your issue to work through

Casey: there’s only an issue if you properly think you’re just owt of the sort to me

Janis: like I said, I don’t know how else you expected me to take that

Casey: you could take it as I’m chatting shit and doing my head in, and yours, over bollocks that isn’t true, tell me that

Janis: I don’t know, Case, I can’t tell you that’s not true, it might fucking be

Casey: you’re the one person who can, you know us, tell me I don’t have to be scared of that, that I’m not as fucked up as that

Janis: how can you sit here and ask me if you should’ve given up, if you’re as bad as him for not

Casey: ‘cause I’d rather die than treat you how he has, use you like he did

Janis: what it really is is you think I’m making the same mistake, again

Janis: I didn’t pick right the first time and I’ve done no better this time either

Casey: I don’t want to think it, none of it

Janis: so stop it, fucking stop

Casey: it’s not empty words, I trust you with my fucking life

Casey: all your decisions I get them more than I get my own

Janis: It’s not remotely similar, not to me, it’s the literal opposite

Casey: I dunno what to do when my head gets hijacked by this shit

Janis: it’s self-sabotage, I can only point it out if I see it, I can’t make you stop doing it

Casey: I’m so scared of hurting you it’s gonna end up making me

Janis: then do it now and you’ll have nothing left to be scared of

Casey: no, fuck that

Janis: it’s been said

Janis: I know it’s not you talking

Casey: I said it, and you heard us say an’ all there’s no need to make excuses for me

Janis: if you tell me that’s not how you meant it, then I’m going to take your word for it

Casey: it’s still not alright

Janis: you were trying to work shit out

Casey: you’re not my fucking lab rat to try shit out on, I can’t just say what the fuck I like ‘cause it’s in my head

Janis: yeah, you can

Janis: that’s what we do, I do it to you all the time

Casey: I can’t, I feel a twat now

Janis: I’m not promising to just be a sounding board for it, you should know I’d be bad at that

Casey: I’d go back to [school therapist] if I was after someone to nod at my total bollocks

Janis: buzzing as she’d inevitably be

Casey: old enough she can more than hug, ‘course she would

Janis: 🤮

Casey: yeah, same

Janis: how did you even get to thinking about this

Casey: I dunno

Janis: idiot

Casey: I felt like I’d let you down and then

Casey: it kept on and on from there

Janis: you let me down in your estimations only, in everyone else’s that was my own mess to get in and out of

Janis: there’s plenty of ways I feel like I let you down that no one else would ever reckon was my place

Casey: how do I chuck him out my head

Janis: dunno if you can

Janis: you have to let better shit in, properly, that’s about it

Casey: okay

Janis: let me in and don’t try and chuck me out

Casey: you are in and I’ve never wanted you to piss off

Janis: you aren’t a quitter, you’re famously the opposite, and that’s a good thing, you can’t spin it into a bad one

Casey: he did

Janis: ‘cos everything in his life has to be shit or how would anyone take his misery seriously

Casey: I’m tired of hearing him

Janis: lucky you won’t be hearing nothing but me soon

Casey: we don’t have to, I get I’ve pissed on it

Janis: I need to eat, you said so yourself

Casey: but there’s loads of ways other than

Janis: tables booked, I’m going

Casey: I booked it, don’t need telling

Janis: I’m saying you can come if you want but I will be if you don’t

Casey: what do you want

Janis: do I wanna sit at dinner alone or do I wanna spend time with you

Casey: simple question, girl

Janis: if I was building your self-esteem, I’d make you answer yourself

Janis: but obviously I want to be with you

Casey: I’ll obviously be there

Janis: I’m sorry, I flipped my lid like that

Casey: you had a right to, what I said

Janis: I’d rather I’d said something dead helpful though

Janis: not made you feel like a twat

Casey: I did that to myself, I was so chuffed to bits for us to be going out and to be having you at work, only to fuck it all up

Janis: you’ll get into it, don’t I always make you feel better

Casey: it’s ‘cause I were that happy, what if I keep on with this bollocks whenever we are

Janis: then we’ll still be happy and I’ll get to have a right go at you too, win win, boy

Casey: 😁

Casey: warned you my hormones was as fucked as yours

Janis: I know you’re as fucked as me, if anyone can handle you, its me, same when you flip it

Casey: that’s okay then, we are

Janis: you will be, your heart and head’ll stop racing in a sec when you realise you’re never losing me

Casey: might have ‘em racing more, just the opposite way

Janis: more fun that way

Casey: Let’s piss off somewhere for my birthday, only fair if the kids are gatecrashing the honeymoon

Janis: anywhere?

Casey: the one rule is nowhere you’ve been before, no reminders of when photographers tried to touch you up

Janis: I can work with that

Casey: [throw out some suggestions that I won’t commit us to rn because even he can’t remember everywhere she’s ever been]

Janis: [❌ off the ones you have like lol]

Janis: I’ll surprise you, if you want

Casey: forgot how you got about

Casey: but yeah, go on

Janis: unless

Casey: what

Janis: if you wanted, could go back to Manchester

Casey: rulebreaker, you’ve been there

Janis: it’s your birthday

Casey: we’ll take her when she can pick the accent up, bit late for you

Janis: you like my accent, dickhead 😏

Casey: 😏

Janis: fine, I’ll never speak to you again 😶

Casey: I give it [what’s left of the timer + a literal minute like she’ll last that long and no longer] before you break that rule too

Janis: 🕐👀

Casey: as it goes, I do like your accent, but she’s gonna look like you, so you can let me have it

Janis: you who wants her to look like me as well

Casey: nah, her

Casey: you who said I’d be an ugly girl

Janis: I stand by it

Janis: I’d be gutted if you were a girl

Casey: I’d not be that buzzing myself, be right hard work getting all them rumours about you to turn out true, nevermind the satisfaction it’d give loads of dickheads who weren’t us

Janis: 💔 your gay angst would be SO real

Janis: it is well bold of you to assume she’ll be a girl when your family is incapable of producing them, clearly

Casey: what were it you said a sec ago about shutting up

Casey: and I’m assuming nowt, heard it off her herself, she’d know

Janis: this don’t count, tah

Janis: you better hope she’s not just well confused

Casey: we’ve been over it, she’s your kid and like you she wants to be special, only lass’ll sort that

Janis: harsh, you’re special

Casey: to you, being their favourite don’t count for this

Janis: I think you are a lesbian, like

Casey: and I reckon you’re a dickhead, like

Janis: soz I like you ‘cos you’re such a lad, babe

Casey: be gutted else ‘cause I ain’t well confused so

Janis: you’re the least confused person I know

Casey: tah very much

Janis: and hottest

Casey: have to get to know yourself better, ‘cause that’s you

Janis: I know myself too well thanks to you

Casey: good, you can go tell her in the shop about me, don’t reckon she believed us when I said I had a daughter I were buying for

Janis: I told you, babyface

Janis: blokes always use the weirdest techniques to come onto girls so can’t say I’m surprised her head was there

Casey: the confidence, you’re not my type, love, calm yourself

Janis: I’ll let her know

Casey: you have to, there’s loads I’ve gotta go back for and I can’t be bothered if she’s gonna follow us about while I am

Janis: you’re a busy dad

Janis: ‘course I will, swear

Casey: [show her all the pics you took to remind yourself of all the other cute shit you wanna get and also to show baby Jac like she can pick because you’re a nerd]

Janis: spoilt cow

Casey: I’ve promised I won’t leave you out

Janis: shopping for mini versions of shit is more fun, I get it

Casey: why we’ll do it together

Janis: you’re better at it than me, I dunno what she wants

Casey: you know loads more than you give yourself credit for, I’m always saying it

Janis: hmm

Casey: and what you don’t, ask her, never shuts up neither, takes after you for it

Janis: gonna have to invest in some good headphones again, like

Casey: oi, you’ll like her accent, I’m gonna work dead hard on it

Janis: what if I don’t like her, what am I gonna do

Casey: you’ll love her

Janis: you can’t promise that

Casey: I can, I already know it’s true

Janis: people drown their kids in baths

Casey: not people like you

Casey: and anyway, why do you reckon I’d sit there and let you, I’d give you a hand, get you the help you needed if your head were that done in by it

Janis: you might not know, don’t think you go ‘round telling everyone, sort of makes you sound like a piece of shit

Casey: you’d say something or I’d see it

Janis: you have to, keep an eye on me

Casey: you’ll not be on your own for none of it ‘cause we’re a team, it’s not about not trusting you

Janis: you can trust me, I don’t

Casey: you can lean on me when you’re scared, I ain’t

Janis: how aren’t you scared

Casey: she’s ours, there’s nobody better to take care of her than both of us

Janis: I want to be as unconfused as you, I meant it

Casey: you will, when we’re a family and you see how good it is, all of us together

Janis: we have to make it stick, no good family I’ve ever been a part of has

Casey: I haven’t had a good family ‘til now, I’ll fight to keep this one

Casey: FOREVER, how you wrote, I mean it

Janis: I mean it too, I won’t lose it

Casey: you trust me not to, I trust you not to

Janis: I trust you with it all, always

Casey: it’s mutual, my love, couldn’t be more

Janis: okay, are you ready to come meet me, nearly done here

Casey: Nearly there, more like

Casey: walked past [somewhere v nearby] a minute ago

Janis: 😍 I’ve missed you so much it’s dumb

Casey: I miss you, it’s stuck in my throat as a massive lump, can’t even say it

Janis: swallow

Casey: [obvs do and send her it + you then saying you miss her, just a casual little video]

Janis: no, changed my mind, spit in my mouth right now

Casey: counting down every fucking second ‘til a hello like that

Janis: only kind you deserve

Casey: *you

Casey: [+ completely unnecessary audio of him spitting]

Janis: give me it

Casey: come here

Janis: [do the minute you can rush out this door like goodbye ladies]

Casey: [pull her into a gap between this building and another, or something like that, the second she appears, so you’re not just spitting into this girls mouth in full view of anyone, including potentially her clients and co-workers]

Janis: [not for y’alls eyes thank you very much, we need to be alone as much as that is possible on a high street so excuse us, just making out with a messy intensity only y’all ever would]

Casey: [god bless, the feels are high, as per, you do need to, just telling her ‘I missed you’ over and over too, like look how well I can say it now]

Janis: [saying it back until you’re literally out of breath combined with the dramatic kissing you’re doing opposed to taking one second to breathe ever about it]

Casey: [I’d like to point out that he’s showered and either shaved or done himself a little haircut/maybe both to make an effort for this date, but more importantly he’s bought her some chocolates cos it’s a cliche romantic date gift but it’s also food and the whole eating for two of it all, so thrusting said chocolates at her lowkey aggressively for such a soft gesture cos !! as they continue to makeout and get even more lightheaded]

Janis: [absolutely love that for you, sir, making yourself look so good for your date, adorable, you can tell we’re appreciating by sniffing on you DEEPLY in this makeout, as if we weren’t inhaling dramatically before, now fully just getting high off you, nbd; trying (but failing realistically) not to squash these chocolates between your bodies, soz we’re overwhelmed by the entire energy of this ‘will I pass?’ like am I gonna look good enough compared to you now boy]

Casey: [we all know he gets high off her all the time and she looks amazing always, even (and especially in his POV cos he likes her best when she’s wilding lol) after work and all their feral antics, GRINNING into these continuous kisses, caps needed, at her appreciation since he was nervous of going too hard and looking like as much of an excited nerd about this date as it’s obvious he is (especially with the earlier self sabotage of it all) + only helping her with the utter destruction of these chocolates by pulling her closer and doing the thing where he then carries on trying to when she can’t get any closer ‘can’t fail us, you’ so sincerely and full of love about this]

Janis: [we are GRINNING back with our everything because if there’s one thing we appreciate hardcore, it’s your unabashed enthusiasm and therefore we will always return the energy; catching a chocolate that’s trying to escape this squashed box and popping it in his mouth so y’all can make an absolute meal out of that and then be very amused at your realistic shit eating grins ‘you never do’ as we’re wiping some chocolate from your lips with HUGE heart eyes, leaving our finger on the tip of our tongue after we’ve used it to clean you up]

Casey: [take a sec to be gross, we’re all very thankful it’s chocolate and not actual shit knowing what you pair are like, her HUGE hearteyes would be killing him though, despite the fact he’s obvs giving them back, so use your enthusiasm she loves so much to do the absolute most with her finger, that goes without saying, can’t let her down ever, please stop short of making yourself throw up though sir considering all the effort you’ve made to look nice]

Janis: [you aren’t allowed to get that messy, lads, best behaviour as much as you ever do, thank you, just attempting to get some of our energy out before the restaurant which we know is basically a pointless task but you’re trying lol]

Casey: [we all respect that you’re trying not to be feral hogs during what is supposed to be a cute date vibe, you won’t succeed I’m sure, but god bless, I hope you’re not carrying her clothes and they are in some sort of bag so they don’t get covered in rapidly melting and squashed chocolate cos that’s not allowed either]

Janis: [would not be the look, also are you gonna quickly pop back in and change, attempt to do it here, love to know babes]

2 notes · View notes