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marvel-and-chicago-fan · 11 months

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Family Isn't Always Fair

Matildas age: 14 years old

Tw: Seizures, Hospitals, Family Arguing, Yelling, Mentions of shots

Summary: After Matilda's sister got diagnosed everything changed and she didn't get much attention as she used to. That was until she was diagnosed with Epilepsy and their entire family crumbles with one Chaotic night.

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Of course they didn't show up. They are always paying attention to my older sister Sophia. Ever since Sophia test results came back they've been acting like I don't exist. It's been like this for 3 years now since I was 11.

My competition was today for ice skating and they promised they would show up but turns out they had something “come up with work” I just know thats a code sentence for something that came up with sophia.

I haven't even had the time to tell them something that's been going on. My teachers and friends notice i blank out a lot and i've brushed it off for awhile but it's gotten to the point where i even got detention for not paying attention in class

***

Walking through the door I don't hear anyone or the house being filled with chaos. “Mom? Dad? I'm home”I shouted. Just as I thought no one, not even Sophia. All I see is a note on the counter with dads card saying I can door dash if I want too.

I heard someone knock at the door and I waited 30 seconds before getting up hoping the dasher had already left.

***

I was finally dozing off when my family came home

“Mattie we’re home” My dad yelled while putting the groceries on the counter.

I walked into the kitchen to see my dad already preparing dinner. “Wanna help?”

“Sure, it's not like I have much to do, '' I replied, finally relieved that I got to do something with my dad for once.

“Hey, so i made first in my ice skating competition” I said, trying to make some small talk

“That's good Mattie, so are you moving onto the final round? Jay asked while finishing up the pasta on the stove.

“Yeah and i'm going up against my biggest comp-”

“Your biggest what?” Jay turned his head towards Matilda when she didn't reply. “Mattie? Can you hear me” Snapping his fingers in her face.

(Authors Note, Even though abscess seizures last less than 15 seconds I'm going to make this last for around a minute reading it may seem longer but it's not that long).

Jays POV

I called Hailey to come downstairs because either Mattie was pranking me or something was seriously wrong with her.

“Yeah jay what's up?”

“Somethings wrong with Mattie, it's like she's just staring into space and she's not moving.”

“What do you mean she's staring into space?”Hailey tilting her head in confusion

Jay waved his hand in his daughters face and she didn't respond

“Alright i'm calling will”

I was keeping an eye on Mattie but before Hailey could call will, Mattie started moving aging.

“Mattie, are you ok? What happened”

“Yeah im fine and i don't know what happened” Her voice obviously confused

“What were we just talking about?” I asked. Will taught me in these situations I should ask questions if something bad were to happen.

“Uhh, I don't really know. It's like there's fog everywhere in my head”.

“Hails stay here with soph im taking her to med” I said almost dragging matilda off the kitchen bench.

“Ok, keep me posted. I'll tell voight you can't come in tonight.”

***

Connor “Ok so we ran some tests and it's epilepsy. It seems like she suffers from absent seizures from what she told and what you experienced with her. “

As Connor checks up on Mattie I feel ashamed to even be a father. How did I not notice this, she had been suffering for a while. I made it seem like Sophia is my only child, I made her feel left out, I made her… I made her feel like a glass child.

“Jay, JAY!” i was snapped out of my thoughts when will was trying to get my attention

“Sorry just thinking about something” I murmured

“I'm going to tell you this now, whatever happened whatever your think isn't your fault. You couldn't have prevented it no matter what you do. She's gonna have to live with it for the rest of her life and you guys will manage it I promise you.” will said while walking to sit down with me.

9 months later

Things are different nowadays. Hails and I have been arguing more now over Sophia on how I never pay attention to her and I spend all my time with Matilda now. We started attending couples therapy 5 months ago, and so far it's working . We've been arguing less and spending an equal amount of time with the girls. I still do spend a lot of time with Matilda but Hailey does have to know.

“Sophia, hurry up if we wanna get good seats then we have to leave now” I yelled upstairs while grabbing my keys and matilda's small bag.

***

“GO MATTIE” i cheered probably louder than everyone else.

Matties POV

Spin, Jump, Spin again anddd pose. I received an applause from the crowd and started to skate off the ice. I headed to the locker room and took my skates off and put my guards on. I walk around to find my family talking with my coach.

“Ahem?”My mom gives a look that means stop and behave.

Finally they finish and come over to me

“You did an amazing job honey, are they not doing awards today?” mom said as she hugged me

“No, they said something was wrong with there scoring so they'll release them out by email to us” I groaned

'`How about we go out for dinner, whose turn is it to pick?’ My dad asks

Before I can answer my sister shouts out “Olive Garden '' I don't really like olive garden that much but I prefer to have a nice family outing than to argue.

***

Once again me and my sister are fighting but this time it's bad. She had snuck out last night and got caught. She blames me because I didn't answer my phone to let her in. She ended up having to go through the front door which sends a notification to our parents phone every time the doors open. In my defense I had to sleep for my competition. I wasn't about to have dozens of seizures because I was sleep deprived.

I was talking on the phone and my sister overheard me saying “She was a spoiled brat and she's annoying” Truthfully i was talking about this girl in school that everyone hates. Next thing I know I was hanging up on the phone then next I was being pushed to the floor.

Haileys Pov

Me and Jay agreed that we would just let the girls fight now. They always made up and the fights were never physical, only verbal.

We caught Sophia coming back home at 3 in the morning. We grounded her until winter break which is in 1 month. The whole fight went on for about 20 minutes before jay told them to shout

Quieter before the cops came.

I was showing Jay an instagram post when there was a loud thud. Me and Jay both shot our heads up towards the ceiling. “Girls stop throwing stuff” i just looked down at my phone then looked back up when i didn't hear them shouting. “Matilda?...Sophia?” Me and jay both shared the same look and got up to see the damage

“Mattie, soph what's going-”Jay's voice in a mad tone “Mattie, oh my gosh.”

Walking in we see matilda having a seizure and sophia just standing there in shock

“She's having a seizure, Sophia. I need you to run downstairs and get my radio” Sophia just stood there looking at me. “Sophia so help me if you don't go get that radio you will wish voight would have dealt with you instead”. By saying that Sophia snapped out of whatever she was in and ran downstairs.

“What happened? She never has epileptic seizure in awhile” i asked

“She could’ve hit her head or something because i don't know how you get from standing the ground” Jay replied while checking his watch as hit the 30 second mark.

Sophia finally brings up my radio and radio for an ambulance. “This is 50-21 gorge. I need an ambulance to my location, 15 year-old female having a seizure.

At a minute and 30 seconds the seizure finally stopped. We rolled Matilda on her side in recovery position. Jay checked her pulse to make sure it's steady.

I ran my finger through matties hair, i couldn't hear jay asking where the ambulance is i just kept playing the scene in my head.

(Forgot to change the pov so this is going to to be in 3rd person until Voight is done yelling at Sophia)

“Hey Mags” will said while putting his tablet down

“Hey will, you need to control your niece”

“What did she do this time?”

“She told me last week that she wanted to live with me because i let her eat ice cream while she was over at my house because "everytime i come to your house you let me ice cream"” She replied and made a squeaky voice

Will let out a small chuckle “She for real said that? I can't blame her i would want to eat ice cream all the time too”

Just then the buzzer went off signaling that someone new came in. Will ran over

“What have we got”

“14 year old Matilda Halstead, found having a seizure in her bedroom” The paramedics said

Will knew he couldn't treat her because she was family. Connor and Ethan stepped in for the place of will.

“Ok, we're gonna move her to the bed on 3, (1-2-3).” Ethan said while getting ready

“Hey matilda, can you tell me how old you are” Connor said while rubbing her sternum

Will just stood there looking through the open door. It took will to fight off every thought to go in there and help.

Just then Natalie walked in to begin her shift. “Hey will, how are you?” When she didn’t get a response she turned around to see Will standing there. “Will are you good?”.Natalie caught a glimpse of what was going on and decided that will shouldn't be seeing this. “Will, how about we go sit down.” Natalie brought will into the waiting room where the rest of his family was.

***

“Ok Matilda you're going to feel a small poke.” Connor was telling Matilda what they were doing even though she wasn't responding.

“I want her taken up for a CT scan and I want the results as soon as possible, say Dr. Goodwin orders it.”

Connor didn't care if he got in trouble for lying about Sharon Goodwin's words. Matilda was family and he would do anything for her no matter the consequences.

***

Connor walked into the waiting room to see Jay, Will and Natalie. “So she had a seizure because of how hard she hit her head. She also has a mild concussion. I want to keep her for 3 nights just for observation. She wasn't reacting to the meds we originally gave her so I want to rey giving her something else.” Connor explained

“Why wasn't she reacting to the meds”. Jay asked obviously concerned

“I don't exactly know why, I wanna take her up for testing if it's ok with you and hailey”

“You can do it, Me and hailey give you permission to do whatever it takes to help Mattie '' Even though hailey was here he knew she would give permission.

“We moved her to a room on the Peds floor, but she is awake so you can go see her,” Connor said.

“I have to go take care of patients but ill make sure to come see her when i can. I’ll find someone to cover you for a couple of hours” Natalie said while getting up

“Thanks Nat” Will replied while walking away from her

***

“ARE YOU INSANE SOPHIA?” Hailey yelled at her eldest child “MATTIE COULD HAVE SOME SERIOUS DAMAGE NOW, DO YOU REALIZE THAT”

“Hailey take a break or go see your daughter, I’ll deal with her” Voight stepped in.

Sophia let out a gulp knowing shes dead. If you were in trouble and Hank Voight stepped in to deal with you, you might as well just go to jail.

But this time was different, something about the way he was talking was completely different from when he would usually yell at the kids when they were in trouble. This time he was…he was Comforting and nice.

Hanks Pov

“Sophia, you do understand that your parents are extremely mad at you”

Sophia was too scared to even talk. She thought if she said something Hank would blow up at her.

(Idk what else to do for this part let's just say that hank didn't yell at her and he listened to why she did what she did)

***

Matilda’s Pov

All I could hear was ringing and muffled voices all around me. When I tried to open my eyes I immediately shut them because of the blinding light. I can feel someone holding my hand and I finally open my eyes to see my dad sleeping in the chair, he moved close to my bed and my uncle will talking to my mom catching her up on what happened, to wherever she went…

My head is pounding and my mind feels hazy. “Did I have a seizure or something?” I think to myself.

Just then my dad wakes up and sees me looking around the room.

Jays pov

I can see Mattie’s eyes and she is obviously confused and wondering why she's here. It's not our first time here and everytime she ends up crying because she doesn't remember what happened and she's confused.

“Hey Mattie, how are you feeling?”

“Like I was thrown in a washing machine on a spin cycle.”

“I can see your humor and attitude hasn't gone away.” I chuckle

Just then will and hailey come into the room asking all type of questions

“Maybe you guys need to calm down on the questions and-” Before I could finish Mattie started crying.

“Why’s she crying?” Hailey asks concerned

“She usually cries after waking up because she's confused and scared. Plus you two bombarded her with questions as soon as you saw her” I reply with a snarky tone

Just then the pager went off“ Shoot i gotta go take care of a patient i’ll be back later Mattie.”

“So did you talk to Soph” I said breaking the silence

“Yeah i yelled at her for like 2 seconds before voight came in.”She said looking down at the floor

“And what did she say?”

“She explained everything and i understand why she pushed her”

“Really hailey, you're protecting sophia again? She's the reason why we're having this conversation right now.” I yell but in a whisper

“Jay, how about we talk about this at home, we're in a hospital.” She says

“Fine, we'll talk at home. ”

***

I am so fed up with Hailey always protecting Sophia in these types of situations and using her disability as an excuse for her actions. “You're never here to see what's going every time she's in the hospital the first night, You're always at home with sophia.” I snap

“Well, yeah who else is going to watch her?”

“HAILEY, she's 16 years old, Mattie was staying at home watching her at 12 when we were at work and when sophia wasn't home” I yell but none it down because it's night time and i don't want Sophia and Mattie to wake up.

“I WAS WITH SOPH ALL ALONE HAVING TO DEAL WITH HER” she yelled back in a whisper.

“You seem to prioritize Sophia over mattie. Did you forget that you have another daughter? You made me feel like i needed to pay attention to Soph more than Mattie”

“Jay I-” She tried to speak but I cut her off. “No, I need to talk. Matilda has felt miserable for 3 years because of us. I didn't even realize I was making her childhood like mine. She felt like a glass child for years hailey…YEARS, and now when i try to hang out with her and be with her you need to put yourself there and say that “You should take Soph with you” I imitated her “Sophia this, Sophia that” I imitated her again “Do you ever get tired of talking about sophia?, NO YOU CLEARLY DON'T” I yell this time “GOD HAILEY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU HAVE TWO KIDS NOT ONE, BUT TWO.” I shout in her face “I am so done with you right now-”

Just then Matilda walks in the kitchen wondering what's with all the shouting

“Dad, what's going on?” she asks

“Nothing Mattie, go back to bed i’ll be there in a minute” I reply with a smile

She runs back up the stairs and I turn back to my wife. “You don't even go to her competitions anymore…” is all i could say. I couldn't stand to see her right now.

I walk up to mattie room and knock on the door frame “Hey my favorite ice skater, can i come in?

“Sure”

I walk into Mattie's room and sit on the bed.

“Hey dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you and mom gonna split up?” she asks me with tears in her eyes

“Oh Mattie, I really don't know honey. Me and mom are just going through stuff and we aren't happy with each other right now” I tell her while bring her in for a hug

“I heard you arguing about me and Soph, but mostly me”

“We just had a disagreement about something that had you in it. It's fine, nothing bad was said about you. I reassured her

“You don't have to talk to me like i'm five anymore dad” She said making the word five very clear

“You're still gonna be my tiny little baby forever though” I chuckle “Mind if I sleep here tonight?” I didn't want to sleep in the same bed with hailey let alone be in the same room with her.

“Why” Shes asks

I quickly come up with a lie that she will believe due to the recent events “Will and Connor said i need to watch you just incase you know”

“Sure you can go get the spare mattress in my closet because i know you wont sleep in my bed because you complain i move in my sleep, plus i don't wanna sleep by someone who snores like a bear”

“You got one thing right, you move in your sleep like crazy and two I do not snore like a bear, I sleep peacefully like a baby.” I say while bringing the mattress and blanket to the room.

While setting up the mattress I realize I don't have a pillow “Hey Mattie do you have a-” I get cut off with her throwing a pillow in my face.

“Here's your pillow you big baby”

“Alright go to bed before i ground you for doing something stupid, i'm gonna use the bathroom real quick”

“Ok”

I came out of the bathroom to see Matilda passed out in her bed. She definitely missed her bed while being at the hospital.

I get into bed, well the mattress and think about what I'm going to do tomorrow. I can't continue living with someone who acts like this and doesn't recognize her other daughter. Let alone see her when she's in the hospital.

***

Things are different now. Hailey wouldn't agree with me on how she's wrong about Sophia and how she “can’t” take care of herself. A few months after the whole thing with Sophia and Matilda we got a divorce. We dropped the charges that were held against Sophia because we didn't want it to hurt her future. Me and her still work at intelligence but i don't come in for work unless i need to. I do cases from home in my office so I can be with Mattie and I don't have to see Hailey as much. I do go into work every couple of days to be with the team and talk about cases and whatnot.

Mattie alsojust celebrated her 15th birthday with family and friends. As an extra gift from me to her I took on her dream vacation to paris. I even tried to ask hailey if she wanted to come but she said no and that she had work that week. I knew it was a lie because I knew her schedule and she probably just said that so she could take care of sophia. Mattie, even a national titIe when she went to Nationals. She was the highest scoring out of the entire competition. I couldn't be happier.

Although I do miss our whole family being together it's been better now that we're apart. I've gotten to know Mattie way more and had to listen though all the girl drama. Even had to help her when she first got her period and i didnt know who to call because Hailey and Kim were undercover.

Life may be different than it was. What maybe a year and a half ago, but were going to be fine and were going to live with it.

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family” - Anthony Brandt

This is way longer than it is on wattpad because i combined both chapters into one plus i like changing the title in tumblr for the fun and looks if it. Just a little quote to close out this story

#connor rhodes #will halstead #jay halstead #one chicago #chicago pd #halstead sister #halstead brothers #tw: epileptic content #epilepsy #non epileptic seizures #family #glass child

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ed-recoverry · 1 year

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Glass Children Info & Masterpost

Only recently being recognized as a huge trauma itself, I’ve seen nothing on Tumblr being posted about glass children. And as a glass child myself, which is a part of the reason I’ve struggled severely with mental illness, especially in my early teen years, it can be very upsetting. However, it’s still incredibly popular to view what we experience as invalid and that we should “appreciate we aren’t like them” (which is incredibly insulting to both parties and I hate hearing it). Idk if this will get any notes, but I wish someone told me what I went through is valid and a real thing and I hope maybe this will show one person the same:

Glass Child: siblings of a person with a disability. The word glass means people tend to see right through them and focus only on the person with the disability. 'Glass' is also used because the children appear strong, but in reality are not. These children have needs that are not being met.

The term was popularized and recognized in Alicia Maples’s “Recognizing Glass Children” TedTalk posted in December, 2010 in which she talks about her experience growing up with a severely Autistic brother.

It is important to acknowledge that the disabled sibling plays no role in the conditions and problems a glass child endures as they did not choose to have a disability. The conditions and problems are a product of bad parental management and being a victim of circumstances. As a child, not understanding this bigger pictures may sometimes cause a glass child to see their sibling as the problem, but it is important to stress the sibling has no part in it.

Examples of challenges glass children experience during childhood:

Severe emotional and or physical neglect from guardians

Severe pressure to be the “perfect” kid

Feeling as if you must help others before yourself

Strong anger of not having a “normal” family, but feeling shame for feeling anger.

Putting in extra effort to appear okay even when they aren’t

Taking on the tasks (both physical and or mental) that are reserved for parents

Feelings of hopelessness

Hyper-vigilance and anxiety

Feeling of being taken for granted

These experiences during childhood follow you into teenage years and adulthood.

Symptoms a glass child can show later in life:

Trauma-related mental illnesses (ex: anxiety, depression, PTSD, personality disorders, eating disorders, etc.)

Self-sabotaging or self-injurious behavior(s)

Low self esteem

Putting other’s needs before one’s own, even at their own expense

Lack of self identity or never developing their own personality

Hyper-vigilance to an inappropriate degree

Extreme sensitivity

Struggles with trust and or vocalizing feelings and needs

Difficulty in adjusting to new, unexpected situations

Avoidance of any form of conflict to the point where it has negative impacts on day to day life

Learn More:

Glass Child Syndrome And Symptoms

Glass children: The overlooked siblings of the people we treat.

What is a glass child?

How We Can All Help Glass Children

Growing Up a Glass Child

Glass Child Syndrome And Symptoms

Glass children: The lived experiences of siblings of people with a disability or chronic illness

Glass Children

At least from my experience, one of the biggest problems that follows me till this day is being extremely sensitive as to when I feel my feelings or presence is being invalidated. This is not completely my imagination however as the term “glass child” as of now has no place in the DSM-5, any dictionaries, and not even a Wikipedia page despite the years and years of studies and proof showing that the existence and damage of being a glass child is very real and a problem. I myself didn’t know about this term until a few months ago. And that was from TikTok of all places. I hope this makes at least one more person aware that we exist, we are valid, and we are not “the lucky one.” Both the disabled sibling and the glass child(s) deserve the recognition for enduring the hardships life threw at them. We both deserve it.

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